I think your parents should do the the opposite of grounding you if you ate 12 donuts...
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 22:25:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Son, you can't return to our home for two weeks because you ate 12 doughnuts. Your mother and I do not love you anymore. One day you will look back on this and cry.
-del2phi ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:13:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats why I always went big as a kid. I knew my punishment was going to be severe no matter what I did. Cue me riding my bike to school with the router in my backpack after they banned me from using the internet for two weeks. If I can't have it, no one can. What were they gonna do?? ground me from it another two weeks?
They did... and it was an awful summer that I had to spend OUTSIDE WITH MY FRIEND.
rillius ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:56:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine used to love grounding me from TV, radio, and listening to music. Never could figure out how to get back at them for that.
kennyl ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:58:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I try not to do this and so far have been successful. I suspect being a human that perhaps one day she will do something that despite wanting to hold my disappointment in may be harder than I can cope but so far so good. I go along the line of not asking her if she did something when I full well know she did but instead just telling her out right. For example there was a situation where she decided to write her name in permanent marker on the underside of her bedside table. Instead of asking if she did it, obviously she did. I just said. So you wrote your name on the underside of your bedside table. Well that was a stuff up wasn't it? Because your now going to have to clean it off. No yelling no grounding no smacking just had to clean up the mess she made. Also told her what she did is not uncommon and that is why I was so easily able to find it. I know there was a punishment but I look at it as a consequence rather than the traditional yell, hit ground punishment.
And you didn't trick her. That's the thing that gets me. Especially with kids, it doesn't help to be deceptive with how you handle things. I was always told that being honest about what I did was significantly better than lying about it, but my parents' reaction to honesty didn't make me feel like that was actually the case. It led me to think that even if I did tell the truth, I was in for some serious shit. If I lied about it and got caught, I was in some serious shit, but it was at least worth the shot. Trust is a hard thing to gain, but super easy to throw away.
paynemi ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:16:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 20:30:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No Son, you're not in trouble for putting your boogers on the wall because you came clean. Yes, you still have to clean it. No, that isn't a punishment.
New stepdad checking in...
kennyl ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:03:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you put boogers on the wall, either way you have to come clean or come clean.
You're not my real father. I don't have to do shit!
sashir ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:39:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hardest part about being a stepdad to a cool kid is trying to instill any sense of responsibility. My wife's sons' dad is a space cadet cokehead, floats from job to job and is in and out of his parents house depending on when his last bender was.
His dad is slowly teaching him how 'cool' he can be by just not showing up to school whenever, staying up till 2am eating junk food until he pukes, etc. Like, dude, he's 8... he needs a hair more structure than that.
And I look like the asshole when I ask him to clean his room before playing xbox, or no, you can't sass your mom and hit your half-sister and expect to get a toy at the store.
But lying comes with the chance of not being caught at all.
Also, if the only way you could find out that X happened was your child telling you about it - then there weren't any really external consequences from the action. So any punishment on the matter would be unjust.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:43:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Untrue. Something might have happened that they didn't know the exact cause of. Like, say, a broken glass.
Then that obviously has outside consequences (item is broken, and someone could cut their foot).
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:50:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If the only way you could find out thatย Xย happened was your child telling you about it - then there weren't any really external consequences from the action"
The only way you'd know your child did it and not a breeze or a pet would be of they admitted, and yet there are outside consequences is my punt.
But what if your child stole money from your wallet, was trying to kill the neighbor's cat by drowning it or was bullying another kid at school? Some things still need punishment, even if it's only firm counseling on the subject.
Most things don't need punishment, they need consequences. It sounds pedantic, but there's actually a big difference.
Yeah, a punishment works as a consequence, but really it's a consequence of getting caught. Making sure that kids are exposed to (rather than protected from) the real consequences of their actions is almost always more effective.
Kid steals money from your wallet? Cool, work with them to figure out which of their stuff they just sold you. This is also an opportunity for them to learn the concept of "bargaining power", since they will have none under those circumstances.
Trying to kill the neighbor's cat? Go explain it to the neighbor, apologize, go with her to the vet to have the cat checked out (where they'll have to explain to the vet what they did), get the cat a new toy to make up for the stress caused.
And so on.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:32:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If the kid tried to kill the cat it's time for psychological help. That is an indicator of someone with the potential to become a killer (look up the homicidal triad). Much more is needed there than just a trip to the vet.
If a kid routinely tries to torture or kill animals, it's an indicator of problems. An isolated event is not.
Besides "tries to kill" describes a pretty broad set of circumstances, ranging from innocent (was being irresponsible rather than actively trying) to aggressive (kid was scratched/bitten and responded inappropriately) to disturbing (kid was methodically strangling the poor thing).
Jumping to conclusions that your kid is disturbed based on an isolated incident is almost always going to cause its own harm.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And do you honestly think that if you catch them only once that they've done it only once? The best policy would be to ensure there isn't something else going on. Nobody said to assume they're disturbed. I'm saying you damn well should have a professional check. If you study serial killers you'll see that most became adept very early on at hiding the animals they killed because they knew it wasn't socially acceptable behavior. I'm not talking about bugs, nor was the example given as bugs. Any kid that's attempting to kill pets should be evaluated. Too many parents ignore the behavior because they don't know how to deal with it or think it's a phase. Most aren't even aware it's happening, so the ones who do find out should be responsible with that knowledge. Every bit of study on serial killers supports evaluating that behavior instead of making assumptions. The problem is that a parent is not a psychologist and doesn't have the knowledge or experience to judge that behavior. There is nothing wrong with a doctor's appointment and an evaluation. For that matter there's nothing wrong with talking to a professional as the parent to see if an evaluation should be pursued.
Everybody has a different opinion on how to raise kids. But I'm of the belief that raising kids without some sense of strictness and a certain line of nontolerance creates selfish entitled adults and wanksters.
You should explain to your kid the consequences of their actions. If you raise them well, they will do the "right thing" without you having to spell it out for them.
Do you want your kids to do things because they fear the punishment or because they know what the right thing is to do? (and came to that conclusion on their own)
For example, explaining to a child why it's wrong to steal. Lots of different ways to teach them that and make sure they understand it. The feeling of "this is wrong, I shouldn't do it" will overpower the temptation of stealing.
However, if you only punish them after they are caught, the only thing they learn is to not get caught after stealing. Even worse, if the punishment isn't severe enough, they might even accept it and continue to steal without feeling bad about it.
It would also be a great opportunity to teach the value of hard earned money and how much work it takes to make $20.
Everybody has a different opinion on how to raise kids.
And a lot of those opinions are wrong. All the crappy parenting today is proof of it. I'm actually surprised there isn't an obligatory course for parents since raising a kid is the most important thing they will do in their lives.
Missing money is the evidence. If they replace it before you find out, no problem. (Not that steeling is good! Or that "if you don't get caught, it's okay" - that's a terrible lesson).
Drowning a cat is obviously bad - but I'm trying to imagine a situation where a child is both engaging in attempted pet-murder and would also tell you about it.
I'm only referring to 'victim-less crimes' here. Technical fouls. Bad and punished because they are, not because they actually lead to bad things themselves. Kids need punishment because they are protected to varying degrees from the real consequences of their actions (often unloaded onto parents or others) - and you still need to be able to discourage them from said actions.
Punishing them for something that made no one any worse off and leaves no evidence will encourage them to lie. And them feeling justified in lying. Which is a negative habit and attitude to build up.
If honesty is a virtue, why is it the worse choice?
Now, when there are consequences: broken vase, missing money, etc then there is some external effect on reality that will be noticed. Item destroyed, someone hurt, value lost, etc. And honesty will of course serve them better there. And they should be punished.
But arbitrary or at least immesurable things? Staying up too late. Eating a cookie before dinner, etc. If you can't tell your child is staying up too late (ie they're not falling asleep in class) or that they're snacking when you forbid it (they still finish a full serving of dinner). Those are things you won't notice. Yes, they should get more sleep, and they shouldn't be snacking close to mealtime. But if you can't tell, why should they tell you? Basically micromanagement or arbitrary rules and consequences results in encouraging dishonesty. Demanding they report their own infractions just adds an extra layer of dishonesty on top.
If honesty is a virtue, it should have some benefit. The original post complaining here, is that parents punish kids for honesty, and that leads to bad results.
That was my mom's way and I've passed that on to my kid - "You will get in more trouble if you lie about it than if you just tell me the truth."
I added this part - "and almost all lies eventually come to the surface. May not be today or tomorrow or even a week from now, but eventually...it'll come out." Of course, the little shit still tries to lie every once in awhile...and gets caught. I always joke that she'd make a terrible criminal.
Best friend believes his own lies, they are so good. Parents are European old world traditional parents. He can lie and you know for a fact it's a lie, and still belive him. Fucking unbelievable
Product of super strict parents here. Great at lying without people knowing, but I refuse to lie unless I feel like I absolutely have to (usually it's to my parents because they're abusive jerks)
My parents were the spanking in a grocery store, limit what books you were allowed to read and shows you could watch, no going to friends houses without speaking to their parents and like 2 weeks advance notice types.
I still have trouble just doing things with friends cause I'm breaking that cycle of needing to plan it super far in advance.
ETA: My parents even tried to forbid me to move out after my 18th birthday
Proxi3d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I often get concerned about how much easier it is to lie to my mom about things than tell the truth. I can either get in no trouble, or minimal trouble later because she'll find it when it's no longer relevant.
However, she's nosy af, so I've had to change all my information to online only and keep stuff literally hidden away. Now I resent it when people try to get me to do things I was going to do anyway to the point where I will deliberately do the opposite thing, knowing I am doing the opposite thing, just because it was the only power i somewhat had.
If you were mexican "Tell me the truth an i wont hit you"
"No your going to hit me"
"Im not! Just tell me"
"Fine i ate it"
*chancla or belt or ass whooping ensues"
"you said you werent going to hit me!!"
I don't know how long it took me to learn this one, but when I did, I always saw the various outcomes for the situation. Either: I get punished for confessing, or stay quiet in hopes that the slim evidence of my misdeeds doesn't come to light... the latter was always the best choice.
Taught me two things, as a kid: one, sometimes lying is the best option (not the best thing to learn--I'm just saying it WAS something I learned); and two, if even the most trusted people in my life can lie, then who is there to trust?
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:16:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
not really mom, but with my dad. I used to tell him the truth, and he would have a go at me for it. if i talked to him about something embarrassing and asked him not to talk about it, it would go and share it around. that, that hurt.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:58:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then, later: "Why don't you ever tell your mom and I about anything?"
kaeroku ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:31:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That lie only worked once, for me. And because I value honesty over most other things a person can do, I intend for that not to be a lie for my own children.
I've stressed to my son that telling the truth is more important than x - and have always thanked him and praised him for being a truth teller. He's 8 and as far as I know has never lied to me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
kaeroku ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:11:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've put a lot of thought into this. Punish them for NOT coming to me? But that creates an atmosphere where punishment is still on the table, and I'm not sure that sends the right message.
Reduce the punishment if they're honest with me? Hard to balance; how do I know they will be aware of what the greater punishment would have been, and not just think that I'm punishing them anyway?
No punishment for certain things does seem like it won't produce the desired results; actions have consequences, at least that's how I was raised. And yet, is that necessary?
I've read study after study showing that rewarding desired behavior is far more effective at training desired qualities than punishing undesired behavior. And implementing that sounds like quite a challenge - as you say, grinning and bearing it can take a toll on the adult in the situation.
I don't currently have children, however, I have significant others; while it's not a direct comparison, there are definitely conflicts which arise, and I've put a lot of practice into communicating with them in a way which is both effective and kind. What I have found is that - more than anything - being understanding of their faults and appreciative of their good qualities produces an environment where they strive to please me.
Now, these are not children, and there may be something to be said about forming a basis for right and wrong before adopting the above approach. I'm just not sure where that balance is (and am terrified of getting it wrong.) This is probably why I don't currently have children.
Reduce the punishment if they're honest with me? Hard to balance; how do I know they will be aware of what the greater punishment would have been, and not just think that I'm punishing them anyway?
It's not really a 'less' punishment, but you avoid double-punishment.
kaeroku ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:06:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah see, that still doesn't promote the concept of coming to me with problems, it just encourages them to avoid being caught. That's not really what I want. My family growing up was absolutely terrible, to the point where none of us really talk to each other anymore. That's not what I want for my life.
What's the other side? Telling them that they can do whatever they want and as long as they fess up, there's no punishment? You tell them thank you for being honest, and you are being punished for your actions. It would have been worse if you lied about it.
kaeroku ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:41:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well there's a false dichotomy here; its not like every situation is one in which someone comes to you with a problem or doesn't.
Sometimes people just do stupid things, and so there's plenty of opportunity for punishment, if you feel that's needed to teach a lesson. The point here is in creating an environment where honesty is preferred over dishonesty, which doesn't necessarily have to conflate with punishment.
A5H13Y ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:23:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Alternatively, "you can come to me with anything."
A lesson I learnt not too long ago is never punish your kid for stating their opinion. You can't go punishing them just because something they said offends you (or your new partner, more specifically).
Doing that is a fast track to them not talking openly with you.
Truth, lies, it didn't matter to my mother. At the very least I'd get yelled at, insulted, and grounded. Depending how angry she was there was hitting in there as well.
I raised my ex's daughter from age 4 to 8.. when i realized she would lie for fear of being in trouble, for even the smallest thing, i would tell her this and mean it. We wouldnyalk about why what she did was wrong and what to do next time. She may get a small punishment for whatever it was, but nothing that would make her not tell the truth again.
As a Dad I have said this a time or two and only when I know everything. Never once has a child come clean right after me telling them that. Then ten minutes later when they admit they did whatever they get in trouble because they didn't tell the truth until they were truly caught.
My daughter once got into trouble from a teacher after being given that line.
I tore into him so badly that he left the room in tears. He didn't realise that her dad was an educational consultant who knew exactly how to tear apart teachers. The bastard had no right to manipulate her like that.
Such bullshit. Mothers ALWAYS secretly or not so secretly prefer one child over the other. They won't say it, but their behavior will clearly reflect this preference. Source: the non-preferred child.
If I told the truth from the start I would get in a lot less trouble then if I lied about it.
n8saces ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is true and funny. But my family is the exception to the rule. I have two boys that are grown men now. We actually had this rule in our house. No matter what they did if they told the truth, they wouldn't get in trouble. We would of course talk about it and why they shouldn't have done what they did. It actually worked very well and they are great men now who I'm very proud of.
DizKord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm almost positive this is where my lying problem came from; my parents conditioning me to lie when confronted about even the most basic mistakes I've made.
See, this was actually sort of true with my mom. I would get in a lot less trouble if I came clean without being forced because my mom is someone who considers honesty one of the greatest virtues and who actually claims she NEVER lies. That's of course a lie, or, probably more accurately, a delusion. The thing is, it's a bad lesson to teach kids. At least to some extent because it'll get you in a lot more trouble than necessary with the law and a lot of other authorities. I certainly wouldn't teach it to my kids.
I think this is a good policy. However they will still face natural consequences just no extra punishment. Like if they steal candy from a store and admit to it, they have to return it or pay for it and apologize to the store but won't get grounded. But if they lie and are caught, they face natural consequences plus punishment for lying.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I babysat for a woman that did this and she always followed through. No matter what the kids had done (obviously within reason, it wasn't a get out of jail free card). I learned from her that is definitely the way to go, if they trust you you will be able to trust them.
My four year old is catching on but I'm still ahead of the game slightly. "Thank you for telling the truth, you aren't in trouble for it. But since you chose to do <insert assholery here>, you have a consequence".
Easiest way to teach your children to lie to authority on reflex right there.
Tiiba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear.
f3riah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't that just encourage your child to lie to you since you've demonstrated that you're not deserving of trust? (Or more to the point, you've shown that there will be punishment either way so might as well lie because there's nothing to lose. Great parenting.)
mtwstr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
its a life lesson better learned now than in a police interrogation
As a mother, I abide by this with my children as my mom did for me.
dramboxf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother was a pathological liar who punished lying so severely that it had the opposite effect on all of us kids. All three of us are accomplished liars. Even if you came clean after the lie (say the day after,) the punishment was 30x more severe (physical punishment) than if you just admitted it up front. You'd think that would lead all of us to tell the truth, and you'd be wrong. We gambled that she'd never find out 1/10th of the stuff we did (and she didn't,) so the calculus worked in our favor.
My mother always abides by this rule and i've heard her completely berate another parent for saying this to their child then not following through. Punishing your kid for telling the truth is a really good way to get them to just not tell you anything.
i scratched the entire side of my moms car once with my bike, she asked about the scratch and said this famous quote. i told her the truth and didn't get in trouble.
It is for this reason we have the fifth amendment.
ashmgee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am a mom and I refuse to break my word on this. I live by " if you tell me the truth you wont be in trouble, but if I find out on my own its going to be twice as worse- so fess up."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I want to get that in writing
MrBigD34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:20:30 on August 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is your only post ever and it has 4000 upvotes.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:44:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
If you admit to having drugs and turn them over to us, we will go easy on you. (where if you don't admit to anything at all there is nothing they can charge you with and would need a search warrant), where as if they could nail you already they wouldn't be asking.
Not asian. Super white. My mom also is super white. She also used a super white bowl. Basically everything about it was white. Except my tears. They were clear.
God! My stepdad was a licensed hair cutter and stylist. My mom ALWAYS made him cut my hair. For someone who made a living cutting people's hair I had a god damn bowl cut for 6 years.
The moment I was 18 I was allowed to grow my hair to any length or do with it as I pleased.
My hair now reaches just above my butt and is made to headbang
Best thing I can say is brush it daily. Not just after you shower or before you go out
Got twenty minutes you have nothing planned? Brush it. Got time before work? Brush it. Brush it before bed.
Also it depends on the person and their tastes but I only wash mine once a week. I rinse it daily when I shower but clean it with shampoo and conditioner once a week. It's still cleaner than most people's.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:49:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Brushing is fucking amazing, I wish I had ONE girlfriend with long hair so we could brush each others hair. I use both shampoo and conditioner daily, but the shampoo is really "basic" with no extra perfumes or any shit like this.
ginghan ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 19:33:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Victim of Asian bowl cut here. Mom literally put a small bowl on my head and trimmed the hair sticking out when I was 4 years old.
Then she tried to cut my hair again when I was 12 with a buzzer. I only needed a simple even buzzcut all around, like I've always had. Simple, right? Well after every buzz through she insisted it wasn't even and would buzz through again. Ended up shaving off all my hair. I never let her cut my hair after that. She laughs about it but I get really pissed if she brings it up.
azantyri ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:34:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
represent, asian bowl cut sibling. worse, my mom came over from korea just before i was born, so she didn't know a whole lot about what to do. so i ended up in preschool with a great uniform : brown toughskin pants and green polo shirts with the little animal on them like izod but not izods. green top and brown bottoms, i was a fuckin tree five days a week for my first five years of school.
needless to say, i did not end up in the popular kids clique.
I walked around with a Mr. Spock (and was called that too by other kids) haircut. Fucking sucked. I shit you not, she said "Oh it makes your bangs look nice!". It lasted half a month (because nice fast growing hair).
What bangs mom? YOU FUCKING CUT THEM. THERE ARE NO BANGS, THERE'S ALMOST NO SPACE TO PART THEM INTO FUCKING BANGS.
Oh, mummy's little fucking prince! Gets a fucking bowl. You know what I got? A NOTCH!!!! A big fucking notch in my 6th grade picture. What I wouldn't have given for a bowl.
Califer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:08:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For the longest time I thought it was a tough hair cut because I heard it as "Bull" cut. It wasn't until someone asked if my mom actually put a bowl on my head to cut it like that that it clicked.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can get a bull cut if you'd like, but your wife's son would have to watch.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:53:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Asian here. Had the Asian bowl cut. Fuck that shit, it's universally hated.
Oh man, the worst lie my mom told me was, "I'm only going to trim it 2 inches." And then cut off 6inches of my hair. My trust in my mother died that day. The worst part was she saw the hair on the ground and was still saying "that's 2 inches!" While I was crying and screaming with the locks in my hand.
And then they wonder why teenagers prefer long hair.
BZLuck ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:54:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bangs. I was a little boy with bangs, and the rest of my hair was just above shoulder level. I looked like "Cousin It" with a window cut away for my face.
One time in the grocery with my brother, a woman came up and said, "Oh what beautiful little girls you have!"
OhioMegi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:59:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still have faint scar on my left lid, 30 years later. She hit that one first, and then promised she'd be careful and not hit the other one because my bangs needed to be even.
I'll bring it up now and then, and she still feels bad
I take an even cut all around. She missed a hair here and there, but I love her haircuts anyway.
Niquarl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:13:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you get to grow your beard as much as Mr. Marx though ?
lfg472 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I cut my three year olds hair one time using the buzz cutters for the first time.. It looked horrendous and he kept asking me while I was trying to fix it "do I look handsome now mommy, am I handsome mommy?" "Yeah buddy.. You look awesome" I died a little inside
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
After gears of dealing with the same shitty haircut from my mother (who said she use to do that professionally) I finally got a real haircut. Confidence has improved dramatically.
Oh man... I've just started cutting my husband's hair because he hates going to get it cut. And... well in all honestly it's the same quality as he got at boricks or something, but yeah. It's not exactly the best looking haircut in the world.
yep, a lot of amateur parent manipulators on here. What i learned to do was this:
me: mom, can i do X.
mom: go ask your dad.
me: dad, mom says i can do X if its ok with you.
dad: ok.
then after they catch on to that game i switch to:
me: mom, dad says if its ok with you i can do X.
mom: well if your dad said you can then its ok.
me: dad, mom says if its ok with you i can do X.
dad: will if your mom said its ok you can do it.
My youngest sister seemed to think as long as someone older than her approved, it's ok and this included me and our middle sister. Also she makes sure to tell her plans in parts to every family member. So unless we have a family meeting about it, we would never know the whole plan.
This is when the parents need to learn the lesson the fun way. They both say "ask the other" and you take that as tacit approval, then when you get hurt or something they realize "hey, maybe we should fucking grow a pair and not be goddamn cowards who can't tell our kid not to do stupid shit."
But it's not like their parents or something gahwd
ayraei ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:23:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I got the feeling it was more that neither parent wanted to explicitly say no and was hoping the other would do it for them. Then I'd take it as "two not-no's means yes," go do the thing and they'd be disappointed...
Creath ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:49:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Spotted the logician.
moal09 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:24:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Easier to ask for forgiveness later than confirm permission now.
You can always just say that they didn't specifically say no.
Maybe I'm just old, but this makes total sense to me; I don't want to counter something my wife told the kids, so I will always ask the kids if they already talked to her and what was said.
If they say "she said to ask you", then I know I can just make a decision without stepping on her toes. It avoids the kids playing us off each other.
This happens to me, so I go talk to my mom again. She then says they will talk about it together. They either never talk or wait a week, and by then I can't do what I wanted to.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:15:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I will say "ask your mother" when I don't really have a preference one way or the other but think there might be a chance that my wife will. My wife and I have an informal veto system set up.
For example:
Butthead: "can I open this other bag of chips?"
Me: "ummm, I dunno, ask mom". What I am really thinking is "I don't give a fuck if you do or not, but the wife might be saving those chips for later, or not want you eating so much junk, or some other thing".
Alternatively, if one of the kids asks permission to do something and either my wife or I say yes, and than the other says no, the final answer usually defaults to the no.
the car thing wouldn't work for me, my dad had a broken jack that wouldn't go up very high so he needed me to crawl under there to do certain things because I was smaller, or use my smaller arms to check and see if certain fans or belts were spinning or not while he revved it.
Do this with my kids, because the second I say "yes" and later find out their mother said "no", i'm in trouble. not them. Oldest is 4 and he quickly figured out the "ask the other parent game"
I did that exactly one growing up. Mom said no, asked again and Dad said yes so I went ahead and did it. Got caught and was punished pretty hard for lying / being manipulative.
Ugh we do this with my two year old, but it's typically just about what/if she can have a snack. I genuinely don't feel like making a decision sometimes, but I guess I should quit the deflecting.
Me: ca-
Mom: I dont know ask your father
Me: ca-
Dad: no
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once told my dad that my mom approved and then my dad bought the toy I was asking for. Then I told my mom that my dad said yes and they were both happy for the time being. I the, like a dumbass, told them the truth and then they stopped doing this. Now I'm happy :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:10:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad was way more chill than my mother and usually said yes to all sorts of crazy shit. Probably because he did similarly crazy shit when he was a kid, as long as I wasn't annoying anyone it was all good.
That's when I unfriend people. I'm stricter than you are. Because if there's a "party" invite it will be followed up within a week or so by spam status update after spam status update for Amway or Herbalife or Oriflame or NuSkin or whatthefuck.
Well it depends on how many people you keep on your friends list. I am pretty strict about who's on it in the first place. I have had to do that for a few people but it's usually a friend that I respect making a (subjectively) bone headed decision to try and make a couple bucks. But I have had the friends that were only on FB to try and sell their crap and they've been unfriended for sure.
My brother did that to me, a surprise pyramid scheme party. I made his whole group question what they were doing and told their leader over Skype how much of a scumbag he was before ditching my bro there.
Really? We have a few of them in NL too. Tupperware parties doesn't ring a bell? They're not exactly common, but I know a few middle-aged women who invite their friends over for a night of them trying to sell large amounts of useless crap. Can't really buy a single thing either, you always need to buy way too much and then sell the surplus to your own friends. It always ends up in broken dreams and ruined friendships and a bunch of unmarketable shit buried in their backyards.
Sounds familiar, but I've never had that in my life.
Thanks
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 22:06:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This explains it a little. Pyramid schemes, or multi level marketing or MLM are when a parent company cons average people into becoming "consultants". Ordinary people, who are not employed by the company and don't get paid a wage, have to buy up front a bunch of products and try to sell it, and enlist more people under them, thus forming the pyramid. It's very popular in the US right now, especially with stay at home moms. Middle aged, bored women get on social media and badger their friends and family to buy their worthless, overpriced shit and throw these "parties" that are basically a presentation and sales pitch. If you get roped into going, you'll have to buy something or risk looking rude, and then you'll get invited over and over. And at some point they will try to get you go sell for them. It's extremely annoying, and more importantly, it is a scam. The people who buy into it almost never make money and end up with tons of product they don't need that they paid for. It's a very good way to lose hundreds of dollars and isolate you from your social group, yet TONS of people fall for it.
Nyrb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much. There are some events I get invited to and immediately think "ugh no" but I can't decline as soon as I get it because it feels rude.
[deleted] ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 18:30:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You wait 3 hours, and then post a status about how you need a root canal the day of the event. Then you can say "no". If it's a daytime event they assume you're at the dentist and if it's a nighttime event they will think you're in pain and just laying In bed. When in reality you're playing pool with a cute blonde girl and her cousin from Arizona, while you drink too many pitchers of blue moon and have to take uber home because both you and your buddy are too drunk to drive. Then you gotta take another uber the next day to get your car.
Garmose ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 19:34:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can only get so many root canals.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:12:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just stop brushing your teeth. Not only will you need root canal after root canal, but eventually you'll stop getting invited anyway because your breath will smell like rotting teeth. It's win/win.
Iorith ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:39:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or you get them all removed and get dentures, which are surprisingly awesome.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not really. I don't like going to every party or whatever is happening. If you tell people that you don't feel like going to their shindig they will get offended and stop inviting you altogether. That doesn't mean I won't go to the next one I'm invited to. Just pick and choosing. Some people get easily offended so you got to walk on eggshells.
He doesn't seem to be the one who wants to be invited, but would rather not be invited so he doesn't have to end up saying "I don't want to come because it's too far."
Laying in bed, shitposting on the internet, wallowing in self-pity. Luckily this isn't a problem for me, because I never get invited for anything anyway.
I don't get why some people send invites to people they know will not come. I can't come to happy hour 2 hours away on a Wednesday night, don't ask me to.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:08:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously. I still get invited to shit in Illinois, and I moved across the country a year and a half ago. No, Abby, I can't come to your beach party and you know it.
I miss the days when you clicked 'no' and it automatically brought you to a textbox with the prompt "Say why you can't go."
I always had a bunch of my high school friends invite me to shit when I live several states away no, so I'd write "I live in Missouri" as the reason. Then sometimes they'd get whiny about it, and I'd delete them.
Most of the time it'd elicit a "Oh I forgot you moved away, what are you up to these days" and I'd remember why I like having a Facebook, since it seems most people don't deal with regular email. But sometimes people would take it as a personal slight, like I was supposed to just click 'maybe' and play pretend.
Oh shit, I've been using no this whole time. I always thought I was being polite by giving an actual, straight forward answer, but apparently I've been a horrible jerk.
Osbios ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well fuck. I just said "NO" to a friend's bachelor party. They only sent the invite for THIS coming weekend on Sunday. I need more than 6 days notice to make a 4 hour trip, and was already coming back home from another trip that day. I at least marked "No", then posted in the event WHY I was unable to go.
Am I throwing people off then by using Yes for Yes, Maybe for Maybe and No for No?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:23:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No is actually can't make it
Maybe is I don't want to come
MoldyCat ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:30:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always put maybe because most events are weeks away i really dont know if i will make it. I dont want to say yes and then something (better) comes up.
"Well I don't give a shit, but your mom usually does and it's my ass if I'm wrong so you'd better ask her. I can't ask her myself or I will look like a dipshit."
Or really. I always thought it could be either of these.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:32:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh the classic, where you have find a way to get them into the same room and talk about it in front of you
I remember my brother pulling this stuff. I could politely ask for something for two weeks and get nowhere. My brother would ask for the same thing and be unbearable for an hour and guess who gets to pick a movie to rent tonight...
So we nick-named him cryin'-Ryan.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:06:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ironically when's dads say maybe it always means yes
I say it all the time too, mainly as a way to stay honest with my kids. I always tell them "If I say yes then I will make it happen, if I say maybe or 'we'll see' then there's a chance it won't happen but I don't wanna lie and tell you it will."
That reminds me of a book I read a long time ago that I can't remember the name of. The protagonist was talking about how to know what your parents mean and he said "maybe means yes, and we'll see means no" it definitely holds true for my parents.
In the same book, he walks in on his dad eating something that smelled weird. His dad offered him some, and he dropped some wisdom saying something like, when offered strange food, always say no before you ask "what is it?" because when you ask that, they always make you try it. But if you say no first, they don't bother. I use that advice all the time.
Yup, that's my mom. "Yes" or "I guess" meant yes. "Maybe" or "we'll see" meant no.
That was the first thing that popped into my head. We'll see is my mom's thing. Everything was always "we'll see" and I learned very fast that it meant "no" and it always pissed me off.
I don't do it for small gatherings, but for people who invite the entire office to payday drinks or who invite their whole friends list to an event. If I genuinely think "hell yes, I want to go", it's an instant yes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
eh, I actually use "maybe" as maybe on facebook. Like I legit wanna go, but based on circumstances when it gets closer to the day, I can make a decision.
Same thing with my friends. When I've made events/parties at my place, and they click maybe, usually they end up changing it to a yes or no closer to the date. Usually to a yes.
Tech workers, we have unpredictable lives sometimes.
Yeah, I work shifts so sometimes it's a matter of whether I actually can go. If you've all been in the pub since 5 and I finish at 9, then nope - netflix and pyjamas it is.
quior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes "we'll see" actually means they had planned to surprise you with that thing and are trying to throw you off the trail.
My mom went up to Oregon (from California) years ago to visit family. I said "While you are there, buy a Wii and Beatles' Rock Band. Oh, and a new TV or something!" She said "We'll see". Came back with all of it.
So "We'll see" is just a "maybe". A mom comment outside of yes or no is a maybe.
One of the reasons why I love meetup.com. There are exactly two responses you can give: yes and no. It makes planning events (and especially board games with limited seats) so much simpler.
I'd always smirk the fuck up like, "thaaaaat doeeeessssnnntt meeeeeaaan noooo" haha so wrong
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really in my friend group, there are a few types of maybe's. The first being I actually don't know yet so maybe. The second, I am not going but don't want to say no. The final one and probably the most common is I'm obviously going but saying maybe is funnier than saying yes.
Based on the comments I am convince that I am the only person with the following RSVP translation:
Yes: I'm super fuckin' excited and there's no way I'm not going.
Maybe: 1. I really want to go but I'm not sure I'll be free 2. I'd be down for going, but only if convenient.
No: I have prior commitments and regrettably can't make it :(
No Response At All: Fuck that shit. I don't want to go.
The longest alternative spelling of no in English.
Edit: My plan has worked. Those whose mothers replied to them with "negative" stay where you are. The Anti-Replicant force is on its way. You will be fined 2k credits for habouring such and sent for rehabilitation classes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL So true. I forget what I wanted but I asked mom for it and she dropped the "maybe", so I pouted and said "FINE! That just means 'No'" and mom laid I think the best guilt trip ever. She goes "Maybe means maybe, I don't want to say yes because that means I'm making you promise and I never want to promise my kids something unless I can deliver."
That's how it was with my mom. My sister and I knew if she said maybe it meant whatever we asked for was happening. It was as good as a yes 99% of the time. But it meant it was going to be a surprise gift for a holiday or birthday.
That's interesting, when I was growing up I knew if I could get my mom to a maybe, it was almost as good as a yes. My mom never had a problem telling me no. "Maybe" usually had an 85% chance at a yes and by freshman year of high school if I heard maybe I just went ahead and did whatever it was I had asked if I could do.
When asking my mom for things, maybe meant no, and yes meant maybe (and if you talked about it a lot, it was probably no). We learned to start asking dad.
"maybe", "we'll see", "i'm not making any promises", and "we'll cross that bridge when we get to it" and "let me think about it" are all just different ways for my mom to tell me no.
ssiegel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just experienced this with my daughter (am dad, though). My daughter will be two and a half at the end of September.
She asked for cereal right before dinner. I told her no. She starts being dramatic and fake crying as she's known to do. She keeps asking over and over.
I calm her down and say Maybe after dinner if she's a good listener. She starts up again and I cut it off. I ask her, "Are you sad?"
"Yeah... "
" Why are you sad? "
" Cause 'Maybe' "
" Oh? And what does maybe mean? "
" Maybe is 'NO', " bawls
I get a dad achievement and level up. She forgot she even wanted it by dinner time.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:11:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny, with my mother "maybe" = yes if you do something I want you to and "I don't know" = maybe.
BramMW ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:13:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funny, maybe always meant yes with my mom. If it really wasn't going to happen she would straight up say no.
Not a mom, but a dad. I have defaulted to "no" as my automatic answer to give me time to think and to avoid having to change my mind to a negitive.
Kid: Dad can I....
Me: No. What do you want?
Kid: Can I go to Bobby's house?
Me: Well I guess so.
Also cuts down on the kids shopping around between mom and me since I am just going to tell them no, so they can't come to me to get past the keeper.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:22:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every party invite was a rollercoaster of emotions for me as a kid.
"Please please please please can I go to so-and-so's birthday party in two weeks?"
"We'll see."
A week later
"So-and-so says she really wants to know if I can go to the party or not, because it's at the ice rink and they need to know how many-"
"I already told you we'll see! Stop bugging me about it and give me some time to think!"
Six days later
"The birthday party is tomorrow. Can I go or no?"
"I already told you I need to think about it! You need to learn some patience! Pester me about it one more time and the answer is going to be no!"
One day later
"So-and-so texted and asked if I'm coming to the party today."
"Well, you should have reminded me earlier! We aren't RSVPing at the last minute; it's just rude! There isn't even time to pick out a present now! You need to stop leaving things until the last minute like this!"
One hour later
"HenryVIIISucks, why aren't you dressed? Isn't the party in an hour? Hurry up and get ready so we can get a present! Honestly, you need to start thinking ahead about these things."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:38:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ohnohnohno
Our dad was the one who used that. Unfortunately his "maybe" meant "I will eventually give in" so many times that the rare times it meant "no" my sister and I would whine "but you proomiiiiseeeed".
It's a family joke at this point. My poor dad. He's the most indulgent father ever, but it was his own downfall.
Maybe, we'll see, and I'll think about it always meant no. I remember recently saying this to my mom recently that we always knew when she said one of those phrases, it always meant no. She was genuinely surprised at that and said that when she said she would think about it, she actually meant it. I said, "Well, it always turned out to be no, anyway."
I will never commit to anything with my kids. The pizza could be on it's way to my house, and I still won't tell them we're having pizza for dinner. "We'll see" is probably what I say to my kids the most.
It's a defense mechanism, cause my wife does the opposite. She promises them things that are only slightly probable. And then we have to deal with the kids being upset later when it can't happen. So I go polar opposite. I'm still supportive and whatnot, I still pull through a large majority of the time, but I swear to God, I'm probably gonna put "We'll see" on my kids' wedding invitation RSVP.
I got in a regrettable habit of telling my girlfriend "maybe" as a thoughtless default response to her asking me if I wanted to do something with her or for her. She caught on and called me out on it saying that apparently my "maybe" just means "no."
To me I think it means more than no. It's more like "I normally wouldn't do it, but I haven't really considered it completely. You might be able to convince me to do it."
Really hate this one. Because yes and no is definite most of the time. But "maybe" comes out to "it's not too irrational for me to say yes but since _____ I'm going to delay it until _____ forgets."
nat_rdh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I tell my child "maybe" it pretty much means I don't have the brain capacity to think about what you are asking, so give me a few minutes. But majority of the time it means no.
NIL8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you want a Yes or No answer right now, then it's "NO". Or take the "Maybe/we'll see", which most likely will be a "No" either way, but there's a chance I change my mind later.
(And that's what I tell my kids when they complain about the maybe).
When I was a kid, maybe always meant no, I'll think about it meant I haven't thought up the reason to say no to you yet, and we'll see legitimately meant maybe.
Jallorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As an Uncle I use, "Maybe," to mean, "I really don't want to, so not right now, but if I say that you'll bug me and then it really will be no, never today, and then no one gets to have a good day."
Or "for whatever reason I don't feel like saying no right now, so here's a tiny bit of false hope that will make the eventual NO just that much more disappointing"
Or "i'm not sure yet and I'm leaning towards no, but go clean something in the kitchen, maybe you can convince me to change my mind"
For my mom, a maybe usually meant yes, somehow. I think she had to just spend some time thinking about it and justifying to herself buying me that toy or taking me to that park or whatever it was. She did every thing she could for me. Sometimes, I miss being a kid. Being an adult can be scary.
A lie, because in a few short months later your younger sibling will have the same thing.
nimphette ยท 1811 points ยท Posted at 16:41:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Super annoying when you can't have thing X until you're Y years old but your younger get sibling also gets thing X when you're Y years old even if they're the age you were when you asked for thing thing in the first place.
Edit: What I learned from the replies to this is that if I have kids either only have one so there's no one for them to be bitter towards or just stick to my guns and have some fucking consistency with my rules. You know, like parents should but often don't out of (what most often seems like) sheer laziness by the time the other kids come along.
That's the thing about having more than one kid. The first one will by far have the strictest age rules and stuff, and the youngest will be doing things much beyond their age.
Getting my ears pierced was like this. Started at 16, I talked my parents down to 14, sister 1 managed 13, sister 2 did hers at 12, and sister 3 got hers done at 10.
But will still complain about the oldest having so many more rights and being able to do more stuff. Fucking hate that as the oldest. Little sister always crying that I can use my phone and pc whenever I want and she has an iPad and phone and DS but can just not use it all the time. At her age I wasn't even allowed to watch TV regularly and maybe half an hour of games per day. Also needed to pay for everything myself and shes just getting everything gifted
I guarantee that you had/have stuff as a kid that I would have killed for, simply because it sounds like you're younger than me. For instance you don't know the annoyance of having one family PC, with dial up (that locked out the landline), or finally getting that SEGA Genesis but only getting to play it when your parents didn't feel like using the one TV of the house.
Now 8 year olds have Xbox Ones or PS4's, high speed internet and their parents picked up a cheap flatscreen so that they could play it out of the way... but bitch and moan they're only allowed 2 hours a night to play them or whatever.
But if I tell you that you have no right to complain because you have a phone and your own PC, you just don't care. That's not your problem.. just like your sister doesn't give a shit about what you did or didn't have at her age, she just knows what she wants now.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:15:53 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it's just a really annoying thing sometimes but I do realize how much I actually have and am not really mad at her, how I could I she's my little sister.
I'm happy that I have that stuff now but of course it bugs me how much I "fought" for it and she just gets it like that. But it's hard for her too seeing her older siblings doing what they want and what she can't.
Please be kind to her, she doesn't understand that and will resent you later if you are not. Trust me, there is only one thing that matters and that's to be nice and have each other's backs.
Yeah I know, after all she's still my sister and this is just a thing that bugs me sometimes. I still love her and would do anything for her and don't want her to hate me or smth
kthx_bye ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh younger sisters.
Are ugh until they are 21 and now telling you they got into life altering trouble and have felt so alone and thought they could only tell you because you BOTH know how "shitty" your parents are.
Realising mine always thought we were on the same level was heartbreaking for me. I felt like I kept myself from being a good older sister because I was angry at my parents.
As a younger sister.. my big sister got a car from my parents on high-school. She got college paid for. She got her first apartment first+last fees paid for. She even got her phone paid for for years into adulthood. But then, there was no money left to get me a car, or pay for my schooling, and I paid for my own apartment. Sure, I got my ears pierced when I was only 9 and she had to wait till 10, but I think that's trivial in comparison.
Jokes on her though, I make twice her salary and she's overweight.
Ok that's REALLY unfair. It's kind of understandable when the oldest has more rules to follow and stuff, when they get more than the youngest though, that's cruel.
But that's probably why you're better of than her, you just have more experience and know how to deal with stuff yourself judging from what you said
Well, yeah. By and large, the first child is the guinea pig.
kthx_bye ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:36:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am the oldest of 3, and this was a long running joke.
This, along with me getting in trouble "more" made me feel like shit most of the time and did nothing for my confidence. It took my hubby 3 yrs to get me to stop apologizing for nothing.
Additionally - it created resentment for my siblings, which still holds me at arms length well into our adult years.
I had only one child, and I would be lying if I said I don't factor this into that decision.
Funny. In our family, we joked about it a lot and my older brother never seemed to be upset by it. It's like an exchange - you get slightly shittier parenting, but you get to do stuff a little earlier.
kthx_bye ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No no, I got the scared first time parents. I had a 10 pm curfew all throughout highschool until I graduated. They bumped it to 1 am after that because they knew I was working and not partying. But still 1 am.
My bro was the next yr below me and his was 12 from 10th grade on. Then they never said anything after that.
My sister, gem that she is, is 6 yrs below me and I doubt she even knows what a curfew is.
They got foot loose and fancy free with the other two. Can only speak for my situation, but I haven't figured out " what I got in exchange" yet. I'm 28.
jlharper ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:08:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it got to a point where you should have taken the initiative and started coming home later and setting your own boundaries. I think a lot of kids forget that parenting is a two way street.
I remember explaining to my parents that I would be coming home past curfew sometimes but that I would always let them know where I was. They disagreed with my proposition. I pointed out that I was now an 18 year old man, and that they would have to physically restrain me if they disagreed. After a day of thought, they then agreed.
I couldn't agree more. One always has to send out the message to one's parents that they're grown up and that they will be out late occasionally, otherwise the parents rarely stop treating them as a child f their own accord.
kthx_bye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was never an idea in my house lol. I like it, and will keep it in mind for my little one.
Thanks for these two comments as it totally applies to the battle I am about to wage with them now. Life always gives us second chances I guess.
kthx_bye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents were super big on not "disrespecting " them. Doing this would have been disrespectful and talking back. Also, I legitimately called my mom and let her know what I was doing / where I was. ( It would have been disrespectful not to) I was a good kid.
I did eventually just not come home one night, and then said fuck it after that. I was going to be 19 in a month.
[deleted] ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 19:39:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha fuck my siblings, I'll try to do as much stupid shit as possible on purpose now
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:38:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like me, I was quite the degenerate in my teenage years and now that my brothers age reaching that age they still have some things I never would've dreamed of but they live under much stricter supervision. The added benefit for my parents though is that I seem to have scared the boys straight so far
My older sibling didn't even do dumb stuff. Mom would say "you can do whatever brother is doing when you're that age" and when I was old enough she'd say "you're a girl so you still can't do it."
Now I don't consider myself trans and as an adult I'm content with myself, but back then I really, really wanted to be a boy. I frequently fantasied about it and cried about it. I only wore gender neutral clothing. Puberty really tore me up emotionally, but at least my breasts developed small enough that wearing a couple sports bras hid them.
It actually went backwards for my family. My mother had six of us and the first could do whatever she wanted, the last has to deal with everything mom learned from the first 5
I was the last of 7 kids, my teenage years sucked. Since all my sisters were assholes and got into alot of trouble, my mom was so strict with me. I basically had no life because of them. Moved out as soon as I graduated.
This is what happened to me. My parents were chill with older siblings. They screwed up so parents suddenly became super strict with me. I had an insane curfew even when I was 18 years old and my parents constantly looked for evidence I was doing drugs as a teenager. I never was, but them going through my stuff or punishing me for everything (like an afterschool club letting out 20 minutes late=me getting high and deserving to be punished) sure hurt our relationship. I moved out and spent pretty much all of college lying to them about my entire life and everything I did just to keep them off my back.
Absolutely true. My parents had a strict no alcohol rule until you were 21. But as the youngest of four, I've been drinking in front of my parents since I was 16.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:11:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the oldest of four, agree 100%
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:18:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So true. There are only 4 kids in my family but 12 years between me, the youngest, and my oldest sibling. Plus my mom had me at 38. All my siblings were sort of difficult children and I was super easy and agreeable. By the time they were done with my siblings, they were just done entirely.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:13:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup the eldest kid gets the fuckup parents who have no idea what they're doing. By the 3rd kid they've got it down to a science if they've even got the smallest bit of intuition.
HA. Sometimes. My older sister got away with everything, did some screwed up stuff. I got really strict rules because of it. I was good, so my little sister gets away with everything.
Pfft.
I am determined not to do this. I'm currently working on a chart with age and merit based gates to privileges. Sure it'll be modified but I shouldn't backslide out of laziness.
What's going to happen, is that you're gonna realize after the first child that you were off-base and too strict on some of them. And the younger kids are gonna want to do what their older siblings are, and their demonstration of success with those responsibilities will make you think the younger ones are also going to succeed with them. The first one gets a phone at 15, the second gets one at 13 because their older sibling had no issues so they should be fine and the other kids had cell phones at that age so why not, and the third kid gets it just before middle school because at this point it's just making things fair.
As the oldest, this is definitely the case, but I also feel like I get more expensive things. Either this, or my parents explanation which is that they constantly ask for small things like candy or gum. I can't remember the last time I asked for candy or gum.
and if you're a middle child mom and dad are too busy being strict to number one and fawning over the youngest...that they forget your birthday, go dress shopping with your older sister the night of your big play, take your little brother to the movies while you walk 3 miles home from school in the dead of winter after a pottery make up class and you also have the flu. WhatI'mnotbitter.
I was the middle of seven kids. Sucked balls. My parents were always so focused on 2 of my older siblings (the older one closest in my age suffered similar shit) and making sure they got every experience a normal kid should (scouts, girl scouts, dance classes, piano, every school dance a new dress/suit/etc.). And my youngest siblings pretty much got whatever they wanted (except the younger sister closest to me in age, but she got away with more than I did) and they could get away with murder.
Meanwhile my older brother and I were held to high standards, punished often, and forgotten on important days.
My dad said it was because the two of us were smarter than the rest and thats why he expected us to be better. My mom said it was because she knew we could handle being disappointed better than the rest. I guess its not all that bad, I push myself harder than the rest of them (all high school drop outs but oldest and youngest, but I was the first drop out to get a diploma and first kid to go to college), I'm more compassionate (dropped out to take care of my mom), and I manage disappointment splendidly.
stillTotallynotbitter
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:51:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Story of my life. My mom wouldn't even allow friends over while I was growing up until I was in high school and even then it was only one or two and for just a couple of hours. A girlfriend was completely out of the question. My seven years younger brother who just finished high school frequently has had three to four friends over and even started bringing his girlfriend home.
Can confirm, youngest of 6. Eldest had to wait till college for hookers and blow, buy Pappy Burns let me have my first at 13.
Jokes aside, confirmation stands.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not me!
My (very financially secure) single father got a cell phone for my older brother when he was 15 in 2003.
I am 3 years younger... Not only did I not get one when I was 15 in 2006.. My dad said he didnt think it was worth it to have paid for my brother's phone for the previous 3 years.. so he wouldn't be doing that again.
I paid for my own pre-paid phone tracphone piece of shit for a year and spent pretty much all the money I had saved up until 2006 on $0.10 text messages so that I could stay socially relevant as a 15-16 year old.
In 2007 I found a friend who let me get onto their family line for $20 per month with unlimited texting.
My older brother and I weren't allowed to play video games during the school week or we got grounded, of course that was disbanded once we hit highschool. However, my two little brothers got to play video games during the school week all through their elementary and middle school years with no consequences.
Middle child--I had the most lax rules growing up. I asked to do things, they told me what they thought would be a reasonable time to come back, I followed their wishes. Called if I would be late--and didn't make a habit of it. Had a job at 16, was allowed to use the spare car as long as I saved 80% of my paychecks. Want a smartphone? You have a job, make it work. Pay extra for the data, etc.
I've also been financially independent since I was 18, where both of my siblings have needed help.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:04:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's probably because the thing they wanted gets more affordable by the time the oldest child reaches the age the parents promised (and the youngest child is still much younger).
It was the opposite in my family. My parents were pretty hands-off with me but raised my siblings in their very conservative way. As a result I ended up being the black sheep by far.
Not for me. My family kept to the age restrictions the same. But he would ruin those privileges for me by the time I got old enough to do it. Cell phone at 15 but could not bring it to school because he got tons of write ups for using it during class.
Thats a lie. The youngest will be told that he can do things when he is his brother's age, but the kicker is that he will never be his brother's age because they age at the same rate.
Nope. Every child thinks they have it the worst, and sometimes blanket statements like these are applicable to some things and not others. You only notice the times that were bad because of [blanket statement], and the good times don't stand out.
It's kind of like a horoscope. Vague statements that can resonate with pretty much anyone. A younger child can come along and say the exact same shit, except switching roles, and they would get just as much agreement.
It depends on the parents, but I'm referring to the phenomenon of the older child's responsibility speaking for a younger child. First kid got a phone at 15? He seems to be doing fine with it, and the second one is entering middle school... give it to him at 13.
We kind of had the opposite, my older brother and his cousins around the same age could always do stuff we weren't allowed to, even when we reached that age, we'd still be the 'younger group' and not be allowed do it.
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 17:39:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, this one hit pretty close to home. Why did my little sister and I start riding in the front seat at about the same time? She's two years younger than me for Pete's sake!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The monster math.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:56:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah but context implies that they got the thing at the same time (or a few months apart).
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:57:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god. I remember when the first Nintendo DS came out. I made birdhouses, mowed lawns, and sold eggs for a whole summer to buy a DS. the next week my mom takes little bro and sis in and gets them their own DS all because they bitched about it.
Siphon1 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:09:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda like me not being able to have M game till 18 but them getting the games in middle school
The way I see it, is that they'd at least have a normal kid that made it to 13-14 on the off-chance that the 9-10 year old gets fucked up by them
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:26:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not me!
My (very financially secure) single father got a cell phone for my older brother/only sibling when he was 15 in 2003.
I am 3 years younger... Not only did I not get one when I was 15 in 2006.. My dad said he didnt think it was worth it to have paid for my brother's phone for the previous 3 years.. so he wouldn't be doing that again for me.
I paid for my own pre-paid phone tracphone piece of shit for a year and spent pretty much all the money I had saved up until 2006 on $0.10 text messages so that I could stay socially relevant as a 15-16 year old.
In 2007 I found a friend who let me get a line on their family plan for $20 per month with unlimited texting.
:'( Thanks for listening guys.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:53:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bring that up so much if they say it's not fair on little one tell them its not fair on you
I felt like that with cell phones. I got mine during last year of high school because I was doing extra course work and would be home late. But my siblings and younger cousins had iPhone going into high school. Why?? And it of course didn't serve the purpose of calling, like it my first black and white Nokia did...๐
I was the younger brother in this scenario when we got Nintendo DS's, and my brother was pretty miffed about it. But we had fun playing Mario together :)
Yes, always. Parents bought a car for my brother and I to use cause they were tired of driving us places, picking up from school etc. I'm two years older then my brother and exchange for them buying the car i had to pay for my gas, insurance and all other car expense and had to drive my brother to all his stuff. I left home for 2 years and when i came my brother was graduating from high school, found out the entire time I was away my parents paid for his gas, insurance everything. They then gave me the used car which was nice, however my brother is now on his second new car, guess who paid for those, you guessed it my parents.
Because my mother spoils him and i always have to do that shit. And it's not like he is disabled or fat. He is pretty jacked. Same thing with school but thank God in moving
Yup, my psych professor was saying things like "remember when you were ten and you were allowed to go to a friend's house a block away but your sibling couldn't" Ha no. He's two and a half years younger but got to do everything when I did. So he had a much later bedtime than I did at the same ages because he had my bedtime. Very frustrating for an insomniac child- he'd fall asleep instantly or early and I'd stare at the ceiling for hours.
hexguns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 16 "you are not getting a car unless you get a job and buy it yourself". Sister turns 16, "enjoy your free car"
My brother and I are 13 years apart, so my mom lucked out as far as your edit goes. I didn't know any different, so when my mom said "I didn't buy your brother brand name shoes until he was 13, and he got one pair" I had to just accept that as fact, and anxiously awaited my black and pink Vans until I was nearly 13 (feet grew sometime when I was 12 and needed new ones).
P8zvli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't get my first phone until I was 13, and it was a slide phone. (Samsung flight 2)
My sister got an iPhone 3 that same day. And was 10.
I had to wait until 8 grade but she didn't? Not fair. Didn't ever even get a smart phone until I was 17. Pissed me off
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thing is, parents are generally the most concerned/strictest with the first child because they're inexperienced. As they get older, they realize some of the laws they laid down werent actually needed, so if they have another kid they just don't bother enforcing the useless rules.
YES MY SISTER GOT HER EARS PIERCED AT 8 BUT I HAD TO WAIT UNTIL 10
cihojuda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That then leads to younger siblings getting impatient about things that are age-restricted by law. As soon as I started driving, my sister started demanding that she start too, and as soon as I started looking at colleges, she started pestering my parents about that too; all because she always got the same things at the same time I did. She's two years younger than I am. If you say your kids need to wait until a certain age to do something, fucking stick to your guns with the rule for both kids.
bobnine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:30 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents were always strict with this type of rule, and being the youngest one it was always annoying, but I realised that I got the thing when I was Y, so I got over it eventually. My brother is very much the opposite and followed the "you get it when the oldest is old enough to have it" rule with his kids though. The first one turned out ok, but the younger two act like spoiled brats most of the time.
My brother got the X thing and I was not allowed, because I was a girl. My mother claimed I couldn't go anywhere or do anything because as a girl I might be targeted. But... That totally backfired.
Joke's on my older brother. Turns out our Catholic priest preferred molesting little boys, so he molested my brother for many months. He barely acknowledged I existed. So, boys get preferred over girls for all kinds of things.
My mother was more afraid that I would be kidnapped and raped by a stranger than that my brother would be molested by our priest. And yet... The priest thing was what happened. Meanwhile, I've had a few close calls but so far, no stranger-rape, just the usual bullshit acquaintance almost-rape that seems to happen a lot but nobody wants to believe is more likely than stranger-rape.
jlharper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you seriously petulant that your older brother was out being molested while you were at home? What the hell? I hope you're very supportive of him and this comment is just a good natured joke.
My point was that all the overbearing repression of the girl in the world did not prevent the molestation of the boy. Our mother couldn't be fair because she preferred him completely.
On the one hand, I couldn't go anywhere or do anything. He could go anywhere and do EVERYTHING, and guess what, he's the one who got targeted. Our mother never thought a priest could do such a thing.
He has severe emotional problems, is compulsively abusive, and has terrible uncontrolled impulsiveness. He's 52 and will likely never recover from what happened. I sympathize but since he has always had a compulsion to be extremely abusive to me I've had to avoid him. He's physically unsafe for me to be around; last time (10 years ago) he was screaming at me in the car, shaking the wheel left to right, at 70 mph. So it's a difficult relationship. I've tried to be supportive but it usually gets me shit on in some way. It's always been that way since it happened. I don't really have a brother anymore.
As the oldest this one always pissed me off. I had to wait for everything and my parents were way more lax with my siblings.
psmylie ยท 104 points ยท Posted at 21:06:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got a job when I was 12 (doing snow-shoveling and lawn mowing for the church). Later, I got a regular part-time job at a fast-food place at the age of 13. I bought my own stuff if I wanted it, not waiting for anyone to give it to me.
Naturally, my little brothers would take anything of mine they were interested in, because they had no concept of actually needing to work to get something. Everything was just given to them. So, why shouldn't they just go into my room and take my stuff? It wasn't a big deal, even if it broke or got lost later.
I'm not at all bitter about this decades later, I swear.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:21:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Last time my siblings pulled this shit messing with my PC setup (seriously fucking complex cable management) and using my speakers I chucked my shit. No regrets.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 22:24:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I chucked my shit.
Elaborate please?
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 22:49:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Installed a deadbolt on my door, sticky taped pieces of paper calling them out on their bullshit in obscure places in their rooms, nicked some of their stuff just to make a point, got my parents to ground them. We're not just talking about invasion of privacy here, they intentionally messed up cable management and bracketing which took me days to set up, and nicked my stuff. Not cool bro.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:08:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I expected you to literally chuck your shit at your siblings.
Still a good revenge story, but I'm a little bit disappointed.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:20:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey if I could have got away with it...
Kevo_CS ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:05:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it obvious?
u/-INSERTLIFEHERE- threw his whole rig out the window to prove to the siblings that they can't have his/her stuff
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:21:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That legitimately sounds like something that one of my siblings would do.
When I was in 6th grade I begged and pleaded for a phone, and I ended up having to work to pay for the phone and the first three months of service. I ended up getting a shittier phone than I was promised and the majority of the money went to my younger brother getter a much nicer phone than me. When I started getting into PC gaming, I worked every other weekends for ~5 months to save up for my computer, and then my parents told me I couldn't get one. I had to get my best friend's mom to order it for me. My parents ended up buying my little brother a computer for Christmas. I got about $125 worth of stuff total. Nowadays he's spends his time drinking, smoking weed, and skateboarding with druggies and dropouts. He's 15. Most of them are 17+. He also is physically and verbally abusive, but no one does anything because he has high anxiety. I can honestly say that I have no love for him in my heart.
It goes more like "the youngest will get his grubby hands on it and destroy the thing, so we're going to wait until he's old enough to fear and understand punishment commensurate with that destruction to have it inside the house."
Huh, I always had the case were, When I try to get my shit back from my older sister, I get the shit beaten out of me. YMMV.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:41:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents were/are the same. They were always terrified that they'd somehow screw up my life if they let me wrestle/watch that scary movie/stay up late just this once. By the time they had my youngest sister they'd realized that kids are resilient and don't need to be coddled 24/7, so they're way more relaxed with her.
Here's the thing kids never understand: your parents have no idea what they're doing. They make it up as they go along.
So what happens is they don't want you to do X or have Y because they're worried you can't handle it or something will go wrong. When they do give in and it turns out to be no big deal at all they think "...huh, why were we ever worried?" and don't make your younger siblings wait just for the sake of waiting.
And older siblings get plenty of advantages as well, at least mine did. Plenty of "because he's older" moments etc. Sure, younger siblings get the spoils of the olders victories, but they also get punished for their failures.
Anyway, my point is that it's more often just parents trying to figure out how to parent. Like it or not the eldest is who they learn with.
I remember this always happened with my bedtime. My mom would say I could stay up until 10 on school nights when I was ____ years old. I would argue about it and wait and wait and then finally gain my prize on that birthday. And so would my little brother.
I'd bring it up and she'd say "well he sees you going to bed later and it's not fair to make him to to bed earlier than you". Like she just didn't want to deal with saying no to him. Always made me so mad.
My guess is they wanted you in bed so they could relax, but once one of you was up they lost that time so really didn't care if you were both up.
No parent I know has ever enforced bed times beyond a super young age for the kids benefit.. they want to actually have a break from dealing with kids.
At some point my parents stopped insisting on going to bed, and just insisted that we had gotten READY for bed, and chilled in our own rooms. We could read or play a (solo) game by ourselves for another hour or so. They ended that policy when i built myself a computer :(
A5H13Y ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:22:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my God. I hated this so much, especially when it came to watching movies (which my parents tended to be a little stricter than some others about).
I wanted to watch Saw so bad. I finally was able to and binged the first 3, then went to see the 4th in theaters. My parents felt bad about leaving my brother home while we went to see the movie, so of course he could come along and watch.
I'm a middle child and I got like half and half. One one hand I had more freedom than my older siblings, but on the other hand my younger silbings were so coddled they never took advantage of the freedom.
Driving is a great example. My mom didn't like us driving, especially her car. My older siblings got their licenses around 17, and never drove the "big" car. I got mine the day I turned 16 and was driving my mom's car a month later. My youngest sister only just barely got her license at 18, and doesn't like driving because my parents will drive her places.
I was the middle child so, you know, whatever.....
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:26:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It worked the other way around for me. My older sister was given pretty lax rules and regulations, and fucked up all over the place, causing the parents to reel it in for me.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:14:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So much bullshit. Wouldn't let me date until I turned 16, which I secretly did at 15 because fuck that (still married to him!), but let my sister date at 14, and my brother at 12. It was like that with everything. Pissed me off so much.
Alybank ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course my parents were over having with family vacations by the time I was old enough to enjoy them.
Maybe because they betatested giving you something they were unsure about, and they thought you turned out just fine and figured your siblings would too?
It pays off later, in my opinion. I'm the youngest, it took me a long time before my parents let off on the over-protectiveness. My brother pretty got free reign when he got to high school but I was still getting calls in college (lived away from home). I appreciated them because I found out how homesick I am, but still. It's like when they figured out what's okay to do with the younger one, they also figured out what they need to be more strict about.
This doesn't bother me because, for example, I know how much I wanted a cell phone and how convenient it would have been for me to have it before 6th grade, and I also know that it's been like 10 years since I was in 6th grade and that nowadays basic technology is more of a necessity than a luxury so present kids' luxuries (video games and consoles and stuff mostly) are gotten earlier too. It's the nature of living in the future imo. I'm usually very on board with my brother getting stuff nowadays, as long as it isn't outlandish and we have the money. Like he's in 7th grade and just got a basic laptop for his birthday, and on the one hand it's like, "He's so spoiled," but on the other hand that's really the only functioning laptop in the house now and there's no way he's not gonna need it for school, so it's actually reasonable, even though I had to wait until the 10th grade to get one.
(Note: I know 6th grade was already fairly early for a cell phone but as a kid who rode the bus home it would have been nice to be able to call my mom and tell her to come get me instead of her having to guess. I ended up getting it cuz I was going on a school trip out of state.)
ZachMich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How about you see it as you did such a good job being mature and trustworthy that your siblings benefit from the trust that you earned from your parents
Worse is when you save up your money as a kid to buy a game or something. Then your parents go and buying your younger sibling one too so he quits bitching even though you just spent months saving up. And when you bitch they don't care because we both got our game
Not always accurate. When I was like 3, I asked my mom to buy me a giant pixie stick. She said I could have one when I was ten. Same answer when I asked for a swiss army knife when I was like 6. Got both of them for my birthday.
Granted, I brought it up a lot prior to then
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:57:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the youngest. My sister and I were told we would get a cell phone once we were 15. I got mine at 13. My sister was extremely pissed about that.
Makes sense, until you see thay she spent %90 of her waking hours in front of the TV. I was out playing sports and going out with friends. If they wanted to talk to her, she was immediately available. If they wanted to talk to me, they'd have to wait until I got home.
Cell phones are a bad example for objects as a right of passage. Children getting them is more a sign of cell phone adoption by society in general than it is of anything else.
Right. My brother got his first cell at 16 or 17, in 1999. I'm ten years younger, so by the time I turned 13, cell phones were way more common to have at that age. So I got a cell phone at a younger age than he did.
CRISPR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or, sadder, when you are Y years old you do not want X anymore.
My younger sister woildn't get away with this without what I'd call mild gaslighting - trolling them by following self imposed strict rules half of thhe time then breaking actual rules. So annoying but doesn't work even if I'm not eldest sibling.
roystgnr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Parent of 3 here. A few reasons, good and bad and mixed, in no particular order:
It's hard to not be lazy and give in to kids to stop them from being annoying. The more kids you have dividing your time the harder it gets. To make it harder still, kids can get much more annoying about something that they constantly see their sibling getting than about something which is "out of sight, out of mind".
If the thing the kids want requires them to be mature before they can have it, well, one way they can gain that maturity is to constantly be around an older sibling who they're learning from. My youngest daughter has been insistently trying to floss her own teeth since before she turned 1, not because we suggested it or because she has some innate sense of responsibility for oral hygiene, but because she tries to copy what the big kids do.
If the thing the kids want might be dangerous or might be unenriching: parents get less paranoid and less uptight and more aware of children's capabilities as the parents get older and more experienced, but only the younger kids get to benefit from that. Sometimes the older kid was denied something they shouldn't have been, in hindsight, and it's too late to avoid that mistake but it's not too late to avoid repeating it.
If the thing the kids want might be expensive: people build wealth, get raises, get into better jobs, etc. as they get older, and can often afford more afterward - it's not that the kids who are older should get less, it's that the parents who are younger have less. This is doubly true if the kids want some electronic gadget that gets cheaper every year.
Different kids are different people, and parents try to take that into account. E.g. my 4 year old doesn't get as wide a variety of video game options as his older sister did at that age, because he has nightmares more easily than she did. He is getting to try organized sports at a younger age than she did, because he's been taking more of an interest in it.
At least for the first part, they're hoping the kid forgets they said it. Case in point, I asked my parents for a dog for my 7th birthday. My mom tells me I'm too young, but I can have one when I'm 13, never expecting me to remember. 6 years later I started asking about that dog. Never got one. Looking back, I'm glad. My control freak parents would never have let it been "my dog".
I hate that! As an only child I didn't have to deal with it but my friends with siblings & my nieces experienced it constantly. You finally got a CD player at 16? Your 14 year old sister gets one at the next gift giving occasion.
XSageXL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:10:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am the oldest (23, nearly 24) and when I was 14 I was told I didn't need a mobile phone and wasn't allowed piercings until I was 16. My young sister had a phone and her first ear piercings when they were 14.
A couple kids I knew in elementary school got cell phones, I wanted one really bad. My parents gave me one when I got to 6th grade so I could have one for middle school. 1 year later my brother who was in 4th grade got one after my parents caved and gave him one after he kept whining about it. There are others but this one still annoys me.
My younger brother got his license first (I was too lazy to learn) and was allowed to drive mom's car to and from school which was a ten minute freakin' walk away, and didn't have to contribute to gas money because he had no income. He did this until he crashed the car. Meanwhile, I finally got my license a few months ago, I'm not allowed to even touch mom's car, and yet I am forced to pay for insurance because apparently my mom's insurance rate went up when I got the license. When I said that makes no damn sense, she literally said "Nobody told you to get your license. Take the damn bus if you need to go somewhere." Yeah, with a fucked up transit system, getting to my job takes an hour and two seriously jam-packed buses, so I figured a 15 minute drive would make my life so much easier.
My brother is currently looking for a car for me since he knows way more about them than I do. I'm dead set on having an SUV, and when I told him about what mom said to me, he laughed and replied "Watch her want to suddenly borrow your car with its 4WD in the winter when there's two and a half feet of snow on the ground."
Your mom can explicitly exclude you from her insurance in order to not have it go up from having a new licensed driver in the house, but it will mean you can't touch any of their cars, even in an emergency.
When my oldest brother turned 16, he got my aunt's gold 76 Celica (this was somewhere around 1990). Someone stole the 76 Celica (why?) and he and my parents went halvsies on a little 91 Nissan pickup.
When my other brother turned 16 (1992), my grandparents told him that they would buy whatever car he wanted from the used car lot. He ended up with an 88 Bronco.
I didn't want to get my license (1996). My friends could drive when we wanted to go somewhere and my mom taught at my high school, so there was no need to drive to school. Parents forced me to get my license saying my mom was tired of driving back to school to get me after sports. As soon as I got my license, my parents told me that they thought about it and had decided that they no longer believed that I needed a car since all my friends drove and my mom worked at my school. So, no car for me until my grandmother decided she wanted a new car with intermittent windshield wipers and she would give me her 91 Geo Prizm. This was one of the few times that being the baby screwed me over instead of getting me spoiled.
Wait, people actually complain if their parents don't GIVE THEM A CAR? Good lord, I thought that was just an exaggerated thing some movies used to show how spoiled and bratty some kids were.
I know I'm spoiled and bratty but hearing parents complain daily about driving me to school because all my friends have cars and can't carpool. Yes, that warrants IMO mentioning "well... If I had a car ... " not to mention I had $6,000 to help them pay for it.
Older sibling gets everything before parents realize it's a mistake, you get nothing, younger sibling gets everything because they're too old and tired and don't care anymore.
zero400 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is not a lie. You can have all the candy you want when you're 25 but at that point you realize sushi is more expensive for a reason.
Funny story, once upon a time my dad thought it'd be a good idea to try and bribe me with a million dollar check. He knew that he'd never keep a million dollars in a checking account. Well never say never, the day we sold our beach house we netted a bit over a million dollars. Now my father had every intention of using that money to build a diversified portfolio for his and my mother's retirement but there would be one day when the balance in his checking account exceeded a million dollars. Well I'd saved that check and that night I told my dad that I had to go to the bank the next day. He asked what for and I said to deposit a check and showed him the check. He took the check and tore it up and said "what check?" I cried and then we laughed and finished watching TV.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me I could sit shotgun once I was 10. My sister, 3 years younger, got it at 7.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot the responsibilities your siblings didn't have since you were alone for a time.
So I can have pokemon X once I'm old enough to get Y!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My younger siblings got their first phone, first gaming PC and first bedroom (large family) before me. I'm still really pissed about it, but I guess when it came time I got a better phone, higher spec PC and bigger bedroom than all of them.
I have a younger brother who is six years behind me and can confirm. I had a strict bedtime of in-bed at 8:00 and could read in bed till 9:00. Lo and behold my little brother has pretty much never had a bedtime and consistantly stays up watching TV in the living room with the family till past 10:00...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Got my first cell phone when I was in 6th grade. No more than 4 months later, my brother who is two years younger than me got a better phone. There was a lot of yelling after that.
I am the oldest and since I started playing video games I wanted to play M rated games. I always got the "wait until you are older" excuse.
Well... come one Christmas morning (I was around 13) someone in my house did get the first M rated game... my younger brother (3 years younger than me). At least after that I was allowed to play it...
"You can't do X at age n because you're a girl, and he's a boy, so got to do X at age n-1."
VoiceSC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always pulled that.
"You can date when you finish high school"
"Date when you finish your first year of college"
"Date after you've finished school and have a job and something to offer her"
Oh my God, this. I ranted on this topic a while ago here on Reddit, and I still get a little angry over it.
I'm the oldest of three, and every single time I was finally allowed to do something, my siblings were allowed to do it right along with me even though I was only just mature enough for it.
My best example is probably the TV show How I Met Your Mother. When I was around 14-15 years old my mom would sometimes let me watch an episode with her, and I found it hilarious! So I asked if I could watch it and she eventually said yes, but that I couldn't watch it around my siblings (3 and 7 years younger than me) since it isn't even close to appropriate.
Well, after I watched maybe two episodes on my own, my little brother (the 3 years younger sibling) complained about how "it isn't fair! I'm old/mature enough!" So she caved, and he started watching it with me. I still, to this day, do not think he's mature enough (he's now 17), as he constantly repeated things from the show and started calling Barney (the worst-behaved character of the show) his role-model. Luckily, my little sister still isn't allowed to watch it, because if it's too mature for my brother to handle, I can't imagine what she'd get out of it (she is still, in more ways than just being youngest, the baby of the family).
/Rant
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am the younger sibling. Older sibling gets annoyed confirmed.
Me at uni - HAVE to live in campus housing, can't rent my own apartment (walking distance). Sister at uni - yeah, totally, rent your own house with your friends.
Yeah, there's a 4(.5) year age difference between me and my sister.
OMFG THIS. THIS. I had to wait until I was 17 to get a cell phone. Sister got it at 13. I had to wait til I was 16 to get my ears pierced. Little sister got hers at 11. The list goes on......
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to want a sibling but now i think i got the better end of the deal.
Husband is smug about this one - has a sister 6 years older than him who wasn't allowed to watch Austin powers until her 13th birthday. Guess who got to watch it with her? Bahaha
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a lie. It was true for you. Your sibling has a different truth. It may not be just, but it's certainly true.
Adulthood is realising that Truth, Justice and The American Way are three unrelated concepts.
I was the oldest and suffered with this, except one time when I got a new bike. My brother wanted one too and he was told he could have one now if he paid half out of his saved allowance or he could wait until he was my age and get it for free. He cried about it but my parents pointed out all the things he had received at the same time as me that I had had to effectively wait for.
That was the only time that the unfairness was acknowledged, but for some reason it removed all my resentment from that point on.
"You can't have a phone until you're 14."
My sister got a touch screen at like 10.
Preebos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid, I wanted an iPod nano, but my parents wouldn't buy me one. So I saved and saved and it took forever because I didn't get any allowance. I finally bought one for myself when I was about 11 years old. A year or two later, when my younger sister was about 10, my parents bought her a newer model of the iPod nano as a gift. I'm still salty about that a decade later.
You and your older sibling crew can quit your bitching. Yeah parents relax more with younger siblings, you want to know the flip side, Chores. My oldest brother started mowing the lawn at 12, 2 years later my middle brother took it over when he turned 12, I started when I was 12, you know when I stopped, age 27. When I got married and moved 2 states away. 4 years after I moved out.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was once told by my parents I could have a pet snake for my 8th birthday. They gave it to my for Christmas when I was 7. My parents were the best...
Oh, a million times this! My mom told me and my sisters that we couldn't get our ears pierced until we were twelve years old. I turned twelve, and she took me and my ten year old sister to get our ears pierced. When I pointed out the rule, she threatened me with not getting my ears pierced and watching my sister get hers done.
Good god I got burned on this as a parent because of the f'ing schools moving to a bring your own technology requirement in between the 2 year gap of my kids.
that was me, my brother is 10yrs older but sister one year younger. When I got my driving permit I had it for a year and a half driving 4-6x a week and racked up around 10000 miles in the time i had it before getting my license. My sister drove around 800 miles and had it for 6 months when my parents gave her the green light. So far she's had 2 accidents in 3 months and Im accident free.
Magma151 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. Being the youngest is great.
NukeML ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Does that mean my brother doesn't have to wait till he's 18 to have sex?
In my case, I was the one that wanted to get her everything I had even when she was younger than I was. Of course this was mostly because I wanted someone to play Pokemon with.
I got my first cell phone when I was 11, and only because we were about to move clean across the country. Fast forward to 7 years later, and my 9 year old sister has a tablet, an iPod touch, and Skype.
I couldn't have a cellphone until I was 16. My younger brother got one when he was 10
koriar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was around 8 years old I found my grandfather's copy of "Leisure Suit Larry" which I was amazed by right up until my mom found me playing it. She claimed that I could play it when I was 16, assuming that I would have forgotten about it by then.
Of course, what actually happened was that she completely forgot that she said that. So when she found me playing it again when I was 16 and I had no evidence of her promise, the disks were hidden once again.
You guys made me literally get up and hug my younger brother. We never had a relationship like that. My brother and I always used our money to buy each other stuff so that if one of us didn't get something, we could get it for the other. My brother was 8 when he got a DS for Christmas, but he used the money he got that year to buy me a DS when they went on sale a couple months later. When he got a PS2, I used my money to buy multiplayer games that we could play together. Sure, my parents might have been unfair to us, but we always did right by each other.
Edit: I'm starting to wonder if it's the age difference. My brother was like 2.5 years younger than me. Neither of us had many friends either so we were each other's best friends. Sounds like other people's siblings were 4-6 years younger which probably means it's harder to relate to them?
ramturdz ยท 9989 points ยท Posted at 13:38:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes mom, girls are banging down the door to be with this acne pocked slouching bundle of anxiety wearing salvation army castoffs. I'm a real winner.
MyPacman ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 00:57:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We have a friend (late 30's) who is a total adonis, great at martial arts; a kind, wonderful guy; runs a successful business; plays computer games; is clever, smart and funny... fucking perfect.
And so is the gorgeous, clever wife. We joke they won the genetic lottery.
I saw a picture of younger him and his wife. They both looked just like your description. Gives me hope for your future.
That's really sweet, but I'm 33 and married with a child. Acne got a little better in my 20s and a LOT better after 6 months on accutane. I still have some scarring, but I like how I look a lot more now (makes me wish I'd have bitten the bullet and did accutane in my early 20s).
This post was more about how I perceived myself in my mid to late teens (and 20s) when my mom/grandmother/whoever tried to tell me I was handsome.
MyPacman ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:59:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, I figured you were older, but there will be others reading it.
It is hard building someones confidence up without also exaggerating positive points (or ignoring bad points). Actually, teenagers are just hard work in general.
I've seen some guys with horrible acne or excema all over their face and they were with some prettay rad and cute chicks! You can do it homie you just gota make a change.
Well, I mean, the slouching can be easily fixed. Just stack a book on your head and take a walk. Your posture is fixed when you can properly balance the book.
And hey, chicks dig scars. Or if your acne is just the regular kind, you could gently wash your face with Dove soap, pat dry, then use the noxzema face cream every night. It works pretty well unless you have one of those "I legitimately need medicine to stop it" cases of acne.
Most respectable girls don't even care about acne. Change your sheets, and shower, etc. and even though your acne may remain, people will be able to tell that you have good hygiene, and thats what most girls I know really care about here
To be fair, we only show off our best sires to mom. She sure as fuck doesn't know about my late nights drugging it up, but she knows I'm sleepy cuz I work too hard
GusN ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:53:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You smell like a leper gnome!
Core_i9 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:34:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's okay, just go out and find a single mom.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:27:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you mom! My face looks like a pizza and none of my four beard hairs can decided which way they want to go! So stop telling me that girls would be lucky to have me! More like they're lucky they don't have me!
You see, ladies told me that all the girls would be jealous of my eyelashes when I was growing up. I would be like, "phffft, I'm not cute I'm manly as hell." Here I am 20 years old and not one notices until I take my glasses of and then they flip out. I hate them bc it's like getting stabbed with Excalibur when one gets in my eye.
For some reason I was always told how handsome I was right after my mum had finished (badly) cutting my hair. I'm not sure which one of us she was trying to convince.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah living in a box in an empty room is kind of strange
Vydor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You were lucky.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you not have the box?
Vydor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cardboard box? We lived for three months in a brown paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six o'clock in the morning, clean the bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down mill for fourteen hours a day week in-week out. And when we got home, our Dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt!
If people go out of their way to tell you your kid is beautiful, your kid is beautiful. If they say it when trapped in conversation, it's questionable.
Wow damn. That's great to know then. I've had numerous strangers approach me and comment on how handsome my boys are. It's good to know that as bad as I fuck up, my genetic combo presented in a way that they're at least really handsome.
You know, until puberty roundhouse kicks them right in the fucking face :/
Wow - people stop me on the street to say how beautiful my daughter is.... Sometimes multiple times a day.
(I think she's beautiful, of course, but I thought I might be biased.)
Maybe I should get her an agent or something?
Kahzgul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's your proof that you're not making it all up! And if you think your daughter (and you) can stand the ups and downs of the entertainment business, by all means call some agents. Don't spend a fortune on headshots for a little kid though; they grow up so quickly that a nice cell phone pic is usually fine.
Seriously, thanks for the tip about the headshots.
Kahzgul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's very taxing on the soul. Much of casting for children has to do with whether they look ethnic enough or too ethnic, how tall they are, whether they look the right age, or have the right color eyes, etc.. Things you cannot control at all. And then you have to see if your child is able to take direction from a stranger asking them to pretend to be someone else, or doing something fake. Pretend this woman is your mom, or that little boy is your best friend. Ignore this giant camera. And when you do book a job, you have to make sure that both you and your child are consummate professionals; show up on time, let everyone do their jobs, and nail it when it comes down to your performance. It's challenging, but also very rewarding.
Lastly, and I cannot stress this enough, make sure it's something your daughter wants to do. Too many children have been forced into the business by overzealous parents who would rather make money than have a happy kid, and it ruins those children down the line. Just look at how many child stars end up as addicts, junkies, and suicides. It's hard to sometimes see the line between being forceful or supportive and being loving or enabling.
I thought it might be nice for her to remember when she gets older. I had a friend who was an actor when she was a child and she has lots of fond memories about being backstage, etc.
My daughter is only 2... i might wait until she's old enough to tell me if she wants to do this.
Kahzgul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you never know until you try.
Jaxz1 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:38:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It can't be a lie because not just my mom told me that, also my aunts and grandma! They're not going to just lie to me, right?
You know, there's a good chance she wasn't strictly lying to you about this. She's your mother, she may have genuinely felt like this. I'm not saying you're objectively handsome, just that maybe your mother thought so...
"You have half my genes and half the genes of a mate I thought was attractive (at least at one point). So I feel like for the sake of my own self esteem, you've gotta be attractive"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:13:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was told the girls would be knocking down my door.
And damn it, I believed her.
:(
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:57:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's the problem... If we had believed girls would be repulsed and only few and far between would be a girl that can appreciate you... Then maybe not have waited to develop girl taking to skills until much later
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:47:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
rvrtex ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 18:25:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ugh, this one. When the only people in your life who tell you that you're good looking are the ones who have no stake in that statement...that kinda tells you something.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:39:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget the hairdresser, also known as the only other woman to give me a complement.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:03:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
o shit she touched my hair! Now I can't stand up, I hope she doesn't ask me to move to the sink soon.
Parents aren't lying. Our brains are just hard wired to find you adorable no matter how you look.
Apologies our undying love is such a burden on your life.
rvrtex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:18:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol, undying love. That gives me a chuckle. My dad has that and has never given me grandiose statements about what I can accomplish or how I look. My mom probably could care less but not much. Thankfully she also hasn't done the whole "handsome boy" thing for a long time...I guess that would require talking to me.
Now, I can't tell if you changed a lot in the past 3 years or something, but looking at your oldest submission, a picture of your cat with your face in it, you really don't look bad.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In high school a bunch of kids were making fun of me for not having a girlfriend. My mom said "don't worry, once you get to college you will have lots of girlfriends."
Well my mom has MILFY friends who say I'm attractive. Same thing with younger girls. Never anyone I actually have a fucking chance with.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think this is actually as much of a lie as it is made out to be. Think about, you probably look like a younger version of your dad, a man whom your mother was probably attracted to. Don't get me wrong, you're probably ugly anyway but at least your mother thinks you're handsome.
Yeah loved hearing the rest of the women in the family tell me the same thing, only to catch them later expressing sympathy for my mother for having such an ugly kid. Didn't really do much to my self image, I can see a mirror so it isn't as though the lie isn't obvious.
What it did do was inform me that the women in my family were pathetic lying cowards. While lies are lies, Liars always expose themselves with their lies.
My whole life I've been called handsome by people. Not much else, actually. I've never understood why out of all descriptions, I specifically only match handsome.
In a discussion about a friend of mine that my family had just met earlier that day, my older brother said "man if you and her started going out you'd really be dating up" to which my little brothers followed with "Yeah but she'd be dating pretty down" and my mom kindly defended me like crazy, getting very upset with her sons. Guess theirs perks to being the favorite?
Henceforth the phrase "a face only a mother could love"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People always told my parents to keep a baseball bat by the door to beat the boys away. I will hate that one for a long time.
Pass1veJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can't find the original post but I think there was a shower thought saying "Of course your mom thinks you're handsome. You have half the genes of someone she was willing to fuck."
Hey you are fucking handsome you little shit. It took an excruciating amount of time to craft your body, not to mention the hellish pain she went through to deliver the final product, and the cost of maintainence fees to keep you looking nice and healthy.
[deleted] ยท 9791 points ยท Posted at 13:19:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I say that to my kids, I do actually mean it but I sometimes forget about whatever it was. I'm trying to teach my kids how to remind me without being a jerk about it. They do okay.
My parents did this with me - if I ever saw an ice-cream kiosk when we were on a day out, if I mentioned it to them they would say "well now you're not getting any". From what my perspective recalls it felt like I only mentioned it innocently once, but more likely is I hyperactively bugged them about it ten or so times.
I did learn, though, and wouldn't mention it. But sometimes I'd be caught in a moral dilemma where I was pretty sure they hadn't actually seen the kiosk (or the ride, or the cool store) but I knew that mentioning such things to them was forbidden.
What a stressful life 4 year old me lived.
Thraell ยท 1494 points ยท Posted at 15:26:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents did this with me - if I ever saw an ice-cream kiosk when we were on a day out, if I mentioned it to them they would say "well now you're not getting any".
This happened to my partner and I with his mother and then 7 year old niece. After a family day out (we were invited along for "quality time with niece" - more like extra child wranglers; niece is a hyperactive handful) we went past a fun fair, and like the then-21 year-old children we were, our eyes lit up, ready to ask like reasonable adults if his mum wouldn't mind ending the day out there.
But then, his niece pipes up, with all the saccharine, 7-year old manipulative bullshit she can possibly muster "Oh wow, a fun fair! Wouldn't it be so much fun for us to go there!" "It would be so much fun for us to go to the fun fair, wouldn't it granny?!" while eyeballing her grandmother with a 1000-yard stare.
Inwardly we died, because if that little shit had kept fucking quiet we'd have all gotten to go.
But no, bf's mum is of the camp "don't reward manipulative little 7 year old girls". We did not get to go to the fun fair.
Niece is 13 years old now, I still don't forgive her.
[deleted] ยท 573 points ยท Posted at 15:57:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
BF's mom sounds like a bitch. Seriously some of the stuff in this thread is blowing my mind because some of this just sounds like gaslighting.
Of course a kid is going to emphasize how much fun a fun-fair would be. They wanted to go to it because it sounds fun Jesus christ.
I have a 7 yr old girl with a whining problem we are working on eliminating. She gets an automatic no from me if she whines when asking for something. When she does ask politely for something she wants, I consider giving and often will if her request is reasonable. If my kid said word for word what this kid said, I probably would have relented. How else was she supposed to ask?
[deleted] ยท 320 points ยท Posted at 16:17:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. Especially parents who say 'well now you're not getting one.' like... what is your kid supposed to glean from that? My parents pulled that on me a lot as a kid and I was relatively quiet so it just rubs me the wrong way.
"Never make your wants known to the people around you because you do not deserve to want things. Keep your mouth shut and the important people whose opinions matter will occasionally reward you with something you might enjoy." These kids, of course, grow up to be fantastic at open communication, and have wonderful relationships and certainly don't become those people who expect their partner to read their mind instead of stating their feelings.
[deleted] ยท 145 points ยท Posted at 16:46:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A+ post. I feel like this is why so many adults are little bitches about telling people what they want.
I'm this way about needing help. I was expected to be the model child, the example, for anywhere from two to six other kids growing up. So my kneejerk response is to never admit I need help because my needs aren't as important, and to insist on paying people back and refusing help. I'm working on breaking it.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:52:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try being the youngest and being like that, meanwhile the two oldest need help bi-weekly and when I finally do get it in me to ask for help I usually get "I just loaned the rest of my money to your sisters". Which basically just leaves me to drive myself insane while I frantically drive myself crazy trying to think of a way to help myself, so I no longer ask and just drive myself crazy instead.
Wanna talk? I'm 29 now, but I've been in situations like that as a young adult, where no one could, or would help me and I had to figure out this life shit fast. Maybe I could help somehow? Don't worry about accepting it from me. Honestly, getting the shaft from so many people in my life has made me more generous, because I don't want to end up like those people, I'd rather be the one that does help. Maybe I can give you some tips about managing money or something.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:59:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was taught as a child that my preferences didn't matter because I didn't bring home a paycheck.
I forgot that 7 year olds are a vital part of a household income.
carollm ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:06:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit I can relate so well, and these comments have helped me figure out exactly why I'm this way. This is why my nightmares consist not of bad guys chasing me but of me having to live at home again without my husband and son, subject to family bullying me.
It really is. I mean, there's a reason why "lack of communication" is such an incredibly common complaint in marriage counseling. Many of us are taught from a very young age that "wanting" just makes us terrible, selfish people because that's much easier than teaching a child to express their desires politely and to gracefully accept the instances when they don't get their way. I think it stems from the power struggle between parent and child wherein the parent uses tools that the child cannot access (such as denial of desires or physical punishment) to demonstrate their control. It's honestly difficult to label such things as bad parenting because the result often is a "well-behaved" child, and many people focus on that as the intention of parenting. However, if you instead view "good parenting" as preparing a child for a successful adult life, these methods stunt important interpersonal skills.
However, if you instead view "good parenting" as preparing a child for a successful adult life, these methods stunt important interpersonal skills.
This is exactly my view on the subject. I would not like my daughter to be "well-behaved", but also unprepared for adult life. Teaching her how to manage her desires and the disappointment that arises when they are not met is an important part of that.
Telling her that she doesn't "deserve to have wants" as the quote above states is going to tell her that she has little worth and that her wants, needs, and goals are unimportant, when actually they are very important, not just to be satisfied, but also to be learned from.
One of many other things I could teach her when she gets old enough (right now she's only 11 months old) is the value of money and working toward achieving goals and earning things, rather than things simply being given to her; and how great it feels to know she's earned something all by herself.
In turn, this will also teach her how to treat the things she owns with respect, not just toss them around or let them get lost or ruined, like, 'oh, mommy will just get me a new one'. Properly managing her needs, desires, goals, and priorities will open up a whole labyrinth of things to learn from and make life lessons out of.
There are SO many better ways to manage a child's wants and needs than by ignoring them. That's the last thing that you should do.
havoc3d ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:31:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't speak for every parent here, but my 5 year old will ask for something and continue to ask or remind and cajole until the maybe becomes a no.
If someone hears the end of that interaction it might sound more asshole-ish than it actually is, imo. You nag when you get a 'maybe' then it turns into a 'no'. I guess the hope would be they learn that if someone has something you want being a pest is not an acceptable way to get it.
I agree completely. That's why I think it's such a difficult thing to teach... Politeness is actually a pretty nuanced thing. I think most people understand how persistent (read:obnoxious) kids can be and that certainly needs to be tempered, it's just that it's very common for parents to abandon that effort and instead go to "asking means no".
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 17:13:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 20 and still get "little pitchers have big ears" since "seen but not heard" ended after a long, thorough discussion
awin95 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 18:48:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Omygod. Annoying isn't it? My dad and stepmom used to do this to me and my siblings even when I (the baby of the family) was 18. My siblings were 19 and 21, already going to the college of their choice. It was quite clear that something had changed in finances but they refused to talk to us about it. Kept saying that there are just some things you don't talk to kids about. That's when I said look, everyone is now 18+ and I'm going to college soon, I would like to know what my options are. They tried to pull the same crap again, but I wasn't having it haha. So three years later, they try to talk with us if anything also concerns us, thank god. /rant oops
You know, it's weird that I have a really good relationship with my parents. So many things like this happened to me as a child, but I just wrote it off as what happens normally. I didn't realize that I don't voice my wants out of guilt until just now. I feel I don't deserve to weigh others down, because in the grand scheme of things my life simply isn't that hard compared to everyone else's. I feel like I just make others angry if I voice my concerns, because my concerns are light compared to theirs. 'Why are you complaining? You have nothing to complain about. You're too young to understand true pain.' Vicious cycle where you need a neutral party to help you figure out your pain, but are too afraid to ask because you feel like your pain isn't worth mentioning.
You are very much not alone, including having a good relationship with your parents later in life. In reality, most parents don't teach their kids these things maliciously, but that doesn't negate how difficult it is to overcome those patterns of behavior that then shape our lives.
For what it's worth, your desires matter, and you deserve to have them. There is always someone who has it worse than we do, but we can be empathic while still pursuing our own happiness. Internet fist bump
For what it's worth, your desires matter, and you deserve to have them. There is always someone who has it worse than we do, but we can be empathic while still pursuing our own happiness.
Did you have a window into my childhood or something? o.O I mean, my relationships with husband/friends are pretty good, but not so much with my parents for sure. And forget open communication with them (parents).
Let's just say that I disagree with some of my mother's opinions regarding parenting, and it's led me to question a lot of what's put forth as "good parenting". Facebook is a goldmine for this... I'm baffled at some of the "my parents beat the shit out of me and I turned out great!" memes that seem to garner hundreds of likes.
I totally know where you're coming from. A lot of my parenting decisions are figured out by remembering how my mom handled things, then doing the exact opposite. She's a great example of how to fuck up each of your kids' lives in unique ways.
G-man88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:34:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ya know it's funny really. So many parents think they did a good job because little bobby grew up to have a steady job and never go to prison or something, but deep down he's a psychological mess, because he was forced to grow up so damn fast to make sure his little brother ate when ol dad decided to start using Heroin, and mom started using adipex (for the energy) causing insane mood swings. Then after Mom kicked dad to the curb "after losing everything from his drug use. She started to date someone only a few years older than bobby at the time that would beat her, and choke her, causing severe anxiety to the point that bobby can't have a shower curtain closed at his house a decade later because he can't help but visualize his mother dead in the tub, but Bobby has a steady job, and never went to jail so he's ok....he's ok.
You're exactly right. My mom for the first time told me she was proud of me when I was 28. I mean, it's kinda nice it finally happened, but it didn't feel good, it was more like a slap in the face. The day my father dies is the day I stop willingly calling that house.
People scoff at therapy, but there's significant value in learning how to communicate constructively. Good on you for having the self-awareness to seek improvement!
Where is this from? I've never heard that quote. It sounds abominable, I would never tell my kids that they don't deserve to want things. Everybody has wants, doesn't mean we can always get what we want, though โ which is an important lesson for a child, but not to the extent of telling them they don't deserve to have wants.
It's not a quote from anything, I was just rephrasing the message that we send to kids by playing the "don't express your wants or you automatically can't have it" game described above.
Glad to see it wasn't a "real" quote. Still, I shouldn't have had to ask. It says a lot about our society that I did have to ask, though. It reminds me of that antiquated, "Children should be seen and not heard," crap.
I would think this would create an individual who does not expect their mind to be read. Why after being raised like this would they then suddenly expect their wants or thoughts to matter? That doesn't follow.
Expecting their minds to be read is what partner 1 (more well-adjusted partner) thinks of partner 2 (afraid to ask for help).
Partner 1 wants communication and is confused/hurt ("I'm not a damn mind reader, I need your help to help you!") when partner 2 won't talk.
Partner 2 has great difficultly expressing needs and just gets more frustrated because they see no outlet for/solution to their problem, and talking has always been the wrong answer. Nobody wins! Everyone's upset and confused!
Why wouldn't partner 2 after being raised the way they had have accepted that their own needs are irrelevant? I state that as someone raised in the same way. I learned along time ago that my wants and desires only matter to myself and are irrelevant to anyone else. Why would partner 2 suddenly decide that their problems are worthy of the least bit of regard to anyone else? It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make you afraid to ask for help. You understand that asking for help is pointless. It's not frustrating if by adulthood you understand this. You would have long ago accepted it. There is nothing for them to be upset or confused by.
It's 100% natural for all people to want things. When someone has been taught not to voice their desires, it doesn't stop them from wanting things, it just creates a block that prevents them from actually being able to seek what they need from the people around them, despite the fact that those people love them and probably want to contribute to their happiness. Losing your voice doesn't make you content not to speak.
The more natural response to being raised that way is to simply learn to not seek what they want from other people around them, but to obtain their wants independently of others.
Unless that person has resolved live a completely solitary life, they will need to express their feelings to other people. Whether it's stating that they'd like to have spaghetti for dinner on their birthday or telling their spouse that they need more quality time together, it's completely unrealistic to expect any person who engages in interpersonal relationships to be absolutely self-reliant for all things relating to their happiness. And in those instances where one needs to express themselves but has been conditioned not to, they will feel frustrated and devalued.
By that point, they would have long ago accepted being devalued. Frustration would be pretty trivial by that point. You don't go from being conditioned one way all your life and then snap into "normal" complete with normal expectations.
I think you're assuming that being told not to express your desires also makes you at peace with not getting the things that you desire, which is not generally the case. You may also be underestimating how much someone's perspective changes when going from their parents home out into the world on their own. It's quite common to realize in your adult life that you are dissatisfied with principles you were forced to accept as a child.
That said, if your personal experience differs from what I'm describing, then I in no way mean to devalue it. There are differences and nuances to every situation and to each person's reactions. I am only speaking to common trends in behavior and emotional health. Cheers.
I'm so sorry that your parents did that to you, it sounds so confusing and annoying! As a child I learned that being persistent and polite will get you what you want - I'm 16 now and it's taken me 12 years to convince my mum that we should get a cat. If I asked for something, she would weigh up if it was justifiable or not and then say yes, no or another day. She's taught me to focus on a few things I want rather than lots of things and only to ask for things I actually want/need (because I'll need to wait to get them). But we're currently looking for a cat because we need a mouser!
I wouldn't say it was a perfect parenting job (I was very selfish for a while, crying in private when I didn't get what I wanted and attempting to be manipulative) but she certainly had a better "system" than some parents on this thread...
I would always ask. Sometimes I. Sure I whined and didn't get anything, but when I asked nicely there was a solid 50/50 chance of getting what I asked for. I learned that you lose nothing by asking and that has helped a lot in life. Asking if I'm unsure of something or if I'm out with friend and want to make a quick stop. It doesn't hurt to ask
mnh5 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:06:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If just implying gets this harsh of a response, then I'd hate to see their reaction to a blunt request. Implying is generally considered less confrontational/more polite/more deferential than asking for something.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:10:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah. Op's possible "Can we end the day here" would have sounded much more socially acceptable.
mnh5 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:36:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps, but it sounds like the kid could have said anything and been refused. The grandmother might have accepted the request from one of the adults, but no matter how deferential or non-confrontational the kid was, she wasn't going to get what she wanted.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:01:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She could have asked directly: Hey, there's a funfair over there, can we go?
But she was hinting, not asking. Hinting is obnoxious and passive aggressive. State what you want clearly and politely, ask for it without preamble. My second cousin has been taught to ask directly and, as you said, if it's not unreasonable she gets it, and if she doesn't there's an explanation: 'Sorry but you can't have ice cream right now because dinner is almost ready', and so on. Her little sister whines and manipulates like crazy, though, and she still hasn't figured out why her requests don't get granted as often, even though it's been explained to her. I wish I'd had this lesson as a kid, but I was made to feel like a horrible, ungrateful child if I ever dared ask directly for anything. I still struggle stating my wants, though I'm working on it.
dizzi800 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:47:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey! That looks fun! Can we go?" sked once.
That 7 year old (sounds/reads like) she was being manipulative and the sort of shit I'd try to pull as a bratty kid
I always told my kids that kids who whine don't get what they want. Even if I wanted to give it to them. Whining is a deal breaker. Worked pretty well.
Haha. When I was little and whiny my mom had a similar thing. If I asked nice I usually got it, or were told the resonable reason why (like if I wanted a horse or some other kid dream). But if I wined she would ask me "what does whining get you?" and I would have to say "nothing".
[deleted] ยท 102 points ยท Posted at 16:37:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. I felt crazy reading this thread with everyone acting like a child asking to do something fun is manipulative and worth punishing
[deleted] ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 17:57:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Tasgall ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:41:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well? Did you get an alligator?
G-man88 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:42:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think this question isn't getting treated with the importance it deserves.
Playing devil's advocate here. It would seem the issue is that she didn't simply ask to go to the fun fair. Her first thought was to try and make it seem like it was the grandmother's idea, that granny wants to go because it would be fun. Some people might see that as misdirection and manipulation, not to be rewarded.
Yup. I have an almost-5yo and he likes to play the manipulation game. I don't play it (as hilarious as he makes it sometimes). He's learning that he gets much better results when directly asking me if he can have a popsicle vs trying to convince me that I need one, and he would maybe like one if I happen to decide he should have one.
davebawx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:46:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It seems like the best approach would be to be dire t in your responses. If the child tries to get something through manipulation your response could be rephrasing what you know the child wants to show the best way to ask for it.
"dad don't you want a Popsicle right now? That'd be so delicious! "
" I think you're trying to ask for a Popsicle. Is that what you're trying to ask me? "
" yes I want a popsicle"
"okay. Let's get a popsicle"
mbm66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But being persuasive is a very important life skill. If anything, you should encourage him. Make a game out of it.
Thraell ยท 148 points ยท Posted at 16:54:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bf's mom is a bitch, but in this instance I did think it was the only way to react. It was absolutely to do with the way niece asked it. If she'd straight up said "hey, can we go to the fun fair?" without the layers of manipulation, we'd have gone to the fun fair.
But she did full on sickly-sweet high-pitched baby voice and everything. Then when we got further away the bottom lip literally popped out and started wobbling, but there were no actual tears in her eyes. Just that fixed stare on G'ma to see whether it was working or not. Anyone who has seen a manipulative kid in action will know it well, and you don't reward it.
I may be salty about it still, but I do agree it was the right call in the end.
[deleted] ยท -30 points ยท Posted at 17:06:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Exactly. Kids are going to try...and you have to be strong or they'll find that weak spot and just turn you into a full-on doormat.
I say this as a super loving, probably overly giving father. My 2 year old is pretty much going to be the death of me. I think I'll be so done with it by the time she's older that I'll just let her get away with murder.
I babysat a manipulative 7yr old in late middle school. She would say things like,"give me a piggy-back now or in going to tell my mom you hit me!" or she'd say I wasn't allowed to look at her older brother or else she'd tell her mom I was kissing him. Her mom probably wouldn't have believed her, but she was a babysitters worst nightmare. A real 7 yr old going on 27 yr old. She was manipulative, she had been spoiled and it showed. Her mom never tried to work with her on it.
No, you seem to be the only one reading that from the post. Have you considered it's just you?
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:28:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course a kid is going to emphasize how much fun a fun-fair would be. They wanted to go to it because it sounds fun Jesus christ.
Not just kids. Talk to most guys - do you want to go to fun for every one bottomless beer night? Do you want to go to the fun-gun and boat show? Mmmmhhhh, yes maam. Will you be good? Yes, maam.
I know right? My parents never would've refused to go somewhere because I was being a "manipulative 7 year old girl". That's just mean-spirited. :/
Sometimes my parents would just plain tell me "we can't afford to go" or "next week after I get paid." I don't understand why people can't just communicate more openly.
jseego ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:56:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
some of this just sounds like gaslighting
LOL! Dealing with kids from ages 2 - 8 is basically a gaslighting contest.
Me: "okay, son, so I took a half day of vacation time to get home by 2:00 pm because you have been asking me for a week to go to the minigolf, just you and me, and your brother is still in school for the next hour and a half, so now it's just you and me, buddy, and I'm totally going to take you to do that thing you've been asking about every day! Hooray!"
Son: "No, I don't like minigolf, I don't want to do that. I never said that!"
============ OPTION ONE:
"You DID say that, and we ARE going, and you WILL enjoy it, so get your shoes on....NOW!"
============ OPTION TWO:
MENTAL RAGE QUIT
"Okay, son, I understand. You did say that, but I'm not going to force you. I'm going to leave now and drink beer somewhere."
...when that kind of conversation can be sprung on you at any time, you don't feel at all bad about warping your kids' realities a bit here and there...especially in those cases when you know it's for the peace of the family.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL! Dealing with kids from ages 2 - 8 is basically a gaslighting contest.
If this is how you deal with kids whose memories are usually short-span, you probably shouldn't have kids.
jseego ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:50:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can you explain gas lighting to an idiot like me? I see it all the time, but it's just never stuck.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:43:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In simple terms, making you feel crazy or insane for either
A) Thinking something happened- they'll deny it ever happened if they don't 'like' it or it doesn't fit how they view themselves. This could apply here somewhat, or
B) though I think I may have used the wrong term, but making the kid feel guilty for asking, and acting like they would have if the kid had just been better even if all they did was ask for something.
B) Yeah that's happened to me. I got my Dad pretty good one time when I asked him for something, and he started to say "no". Except I parroted exactly what he said at the same time and when he stopped talking, I pumped my fist and exclaimed "I KNEW it!" and then walked away victorious.
I got beat for that. Gaslighting, I understand it now.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:07:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it's insane to me what people are labeling as "manipulative" in this thread. Apparently a lot of people don't understand what manipulative means. Very few people have this much foresight when speaking. A little girl isn't thinking, "Oh if I emphasize the fun of the fair instead of simply asking to go, I might plant the seed in their brain and they'll take me anyway!" They're just made of word vomit. Their words come from their mouths before their brains even register them. They're not trying to manipulate anybody, or at least most aren't. Someone phrasing something in a way you don't find ideal is not the same thing as being manipulative.
Reddit has some serious emotional problems regarding children and often praises parenting decisions that are highly questionable if not outright abusive.
I never figured out what this gaslighting nonsense was supposed to be but if a kid started up this manipulative asking-but-not-asking shit with me then I'd fucking say no, too
This isn't gaslighting at all, not all manipulation is gaslighting. Gaslighting is pretty specifically reality-management, such as denying something happened which did, or stating something happened which didn't.
mbm66 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:15:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
IIRC, it comes from an old movie where a husband tries to drive his wife crazy by among other things turning on and off the gas lamps around the house at random times and then acting like she's crazy when she asks about it.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:56:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If the gma is this big a bitch all the time with the kid, she may know that outright asking gets the same response as the above poster- "Well now you're not getting it." So hint-asking makes more sense in that context.
My parents, my dad specifically, taught to ask for what I want instead of wheedling on like that. Instead of saying, "Oooooh, doesn't that cookie look so yummy? Wouldn't a cookie be so delicious right now?" I would be expected to say, "Can I please have a cookie?"
Then once I got a handle on that, they would ask me to consider if I needed a cookie or if I wanted a cookie. And if I wanted a cookie, did I deserve a cookie? Or a book or a trip to the fun fair or whatever.
As a result, I'm not one of those manipulative women people are always complaining about.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:16:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I don't have that problem either, but that's because of what I mentioned before; asking directly would get the "Oh, well I would have let you have that cookie, but now you can't. "
mbm66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For fuck's sake, why wouldn't you deserve a cookie? You realize that was basically a power play, right? They essentially made you beg for everything.
Because dinner is in 30 minutes? Because I've already had a bunch of cookies? Because I was being an intolerable little shit like my cousins and cookies are treats, not nutrition?
Begging is completely different. "Plllleeeeeease I want a cookie! Oh my god I can't live until I have another cookie! Cookies are soooooo yummy, wouldn't it be nice to have a cookie right now? You could have one, too! gimme a cookie please please please please."
99% of the time, if I asked politely for something, I got it. Because my parents taught me how to be concise, direct, and thoughtful in the things that I asked for. I didn't waste time and energy whining about things that couldn't or wouldn't happen.
If they told me no, they would tell me why, "No Zinc, you can't have a cookie because too many cookies are bad for you and you've already had three today. No Zinc, we can't go to the fun fair because we're on the way to family dinner, but we'll go afterwards if you still want to."
Whether it was a "power play" or not, the fact remains that when compared to my asshole cousins, I appeared to be more quiet, well-behaved, rational, and intelligent than any of them. Would you rather spend time with a kid who can articulately discuss what they want to do and why in a calm manner or some whiney shithead?
notfated ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:52:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did she learn to be less manipulative tho
Thraell ยท 100 points ยท Posted at 16:55:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Last time I saw her she tried to guilt me into buying her Overwatch, because he dad was being so mean to her for not buying it for her.
She was supposed to have gotten it for her birthday - until it was found out that she'd been bullying kids at school relentlessly. Oh, and this was after telling her parents all year that she was the one being bullied. Boy did her dad get a surprise when he took her teacher to task for not enforcing the school's anti-bullying policy.
I wonder where she learned that? Kids don't get these behaviors from nowhere. Clearly someone taught her that treating other people badly is ok.
edit: Suddenly the majority of you believe that the family environment has no influence on kids. I'm sure it's just a massive coincidence that her family appears to be full of vindictive assholes.
Children are far more heavily influenced by their parents that any other influence in life. But I'm sure it's just a huge coincidence that her family is full of assholes, the problem is the tv shows she's been watching /s
Useless question. Could be from anywhere, or it could be she decided it for herself. This idea that children are incapable of coming up with their own behaviors is ludicrous and devoid of reality.
I'm thinking people who think that it's all the parents' fault either don't have a lot of siblings or a great number of kids. Some kids turn into little hellions seemingly regardless of what their parents do.
This idea that children are incapable of coming up with their own behaviors is ludicrous and devoid of reality.
Of course it's ludicrous. Who said that? It's also ludicrous to claim they come up with those behaviors in a vacuum, with no outside influences.
Are we all helpless victims of our kids, and should just shrug our shoulders helplessly when they behave badly? It's obvious that children primarily imitate their parents, just like every other species.
Usually when this topic comes up, people bitch and moan about how the parents weren't doing their job by punishing their kids enough. Now a whole group of you suddenly believe it has nothing to do with parenting, kids are annoying little shits and their poor parents are helpless to do anything about it. Hilarious.
I'm'a guess you've got, oh, either no kids, or one, and probably an unhealthy relationship with the dad.
Because people with a few kids and no innate need to blame a parent for the kid's failings see that (a) parents play a shaping role, and/but (b) kids' in-born character plays a huge role.
(B) is sufficiently true that, just because a kid's a bully, doesn't require anyone to jump to "man, that family must be full of assholes." At all. It's one of many, many explanations, and by no means #1.
I'm'a guess you've got, oh, either no kids, or one, and probably an unhealthy relationship with the dad.
Wrong on all counts.
doesn't require anyone to jump to "man, that family must be full of assholes."
Of course not. This whole discussion was started by someone who described the grandmother as a bitch, and her niece as a whiny manipulative bully, etc. It would be foolish to say that those toxic personalities have had no influence on that girl's behavior. That seems pretty obvious. I'm not sure why this is making so many people uncomfortable. You all seem to believe I said something far more extreme.
Iorith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's the line of reasoning of "It's someone else's fault". Maybe the kid is just a little shit by choice, but you're stating it as if it's a fact that's it's the family's fault.
Oh, now I see how my statement was interpreted. I agree completely that a kid has to be held responsible for their choices. That's extremely important. A kid may have a shitty, abusive family but that doesn't make it ok for him to hurt other kids. But if we want a child to change, it helps to understand where their behavior comes from. Learning to manage our emotions is a core life skill that kids usually learn by watching how their parents behave when they get angry or sad. If a kid grows up in fear and pain, they are unlikely to be calm when a conflict breaks out at school.
Iorith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Very true, but you also can't assume that much of a kid's life from a post about 30 seconds from the kid's life and then the end result. By that logic, if he had posted that they DID go to the fair, and she ended up a meth addict, you could say that giving into kids is even worse, but we have no idea what happened in the meantime, and it isn't our place to get involved.
Have you met a child? Most of them come out assholes and it takes a lot of work to turn them into civil human beings. Given the number of adult jerks I've met, I bet good parenting doesnt even work on half of them.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:53:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No they don't. I'm sorry to hear you have had so many bad experiences, that you would find this kind of generalization reasonable.
Given the number of adult jerks I've met
You should consider the possibility that these adult jerks in your life are setting a poor example for their kids, which is why you have been around so many poorly behaved kids.
Good to know that someone's firmly figured out that it's all "Nurture" and no "Nature." Shit, I don't know why that debate lasted as long as it did. /s
I think you got lost in your own sarcasm there. Do you really believe I said it's all nature and no nurture? Not to mention, the part that is nature comes from her parents genetics.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:31:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think it'll just make her better at it if she wants something.
Otherwise her options are hope she randomly gets something she might like, or get really really good.
It's like parents who punish kids when they come to then for help (not saying whatever it is couldn't still be punishable) all it teaches them is to hide better.
So... it's manipulative to be excited about going to a fun fair, and its manipulative to be sad when she gets shut down? Do you believe other people express their emotions just to manipulate you?
It sounds like you believe you had a better plan for manipulating the grandma into being reasonable, and you resent this little girl for being too sincere and screwing it up. Her resentment was far more reasonable than yours.
if that little shit had kept fucking quiet
Well that explains a lot
kaeroku ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:15:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See this happened when I was a kid, except everyone else got ice cream, just not me.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But that doesn't sound manipulative at all. It sounds like a seven year old asking to go somewhere.
I think granny is actually encouraging manipulative behavior. That tactic is pretty lame and transparent, and shutting it down only encourages her to get better at it and turn into a master manipulator.
What the ever loving fuck? No seven year old would resort to hinting at something they wanted to do ("manipulating" Jesus Christ, fuck off) if they were allowed to just fucking ask. What the hell is with these parents banning asking for something you want? How the fuck are they supposed to get through life after being raised like that?
This is horrible. She was asking nicely, not whining, stomping her feet, crying and begging to go in. She just wanted grandma to consider her point of view of how fun it might be, which I don't think is manipulative at all. That poor kid. I would have gone to the fun-fair with you guys. Sounds fun.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:36:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Iorith ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:35:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's an impressive bit of rules lawyering for a 4 year old.
That doesn't sound quite like how I do things. I'm all about open, clear comminication. They can talk about the ice cream they can say how much they like ice cream, but if they don't ask properly and politely, they don't have a chance at getting it.
I quote how I'd like them ask. If they're being an annoying demanding shit and I'll correct them by saying "Mom, may I please have ice cream?" And they repeat, then I answer. A lot of time, the answer is no. But they learned their chances are higher if they ask right.
If I don't want to play the gimme games I tell them before we get out of the car not to ask for anything.
Yes. My mom used to say, "I don't have any cash right now" or "maybe tomorrow". I tell my kids, "No."
Korsola ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:41:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My step dad was like that, if I had the audacity to ask for something 90% of the time it was a no followed by a lecture about how good I had it and I didn't deserve treats for nothing. The only exceptions were if there were witnesses.
I remember going grocery shopping with him once and I asked for a box of crackers that I liked that we didn't often buy and I got them. I was pumped. And then my mom told me that the only reason I was allowed to get them was because there was another lady in the aisle that heard the exchange and he felt like he had to buy them so he didn't look like an asshole. Well you know what Danny? You are an asshole.
My dad told me a story like this about his childhood. He would ask for ice cream from his mother as they were driving past the local ice cream parlor, and she would reply "Well now that you asked, you're not getting any." So, eventually he decided he wouldn't ask anymore and of course she would have to get them ice cream. He never asked again, no matter how many times they drove past the place. And of course, they never got ice cream.
When he was older, he was in town visiting family, and they drove past the ice cream place. The memories came flooding back and he asked her why they never stopped for ice cream when they were kids.
I did learn, though, and wouldn't mention it. But sometimes I'd be caught in a moral dilemma where I was pretty sure they hadn't actually seen the kiosk (or the ride, or the cool store) but I knew that mentioning such things to them was forbidden.
We're a lot more rational with our kids. Our policy is that "no" requires a reason. That reason can be "I'm just too tired right now" or something, but we give them the honest reason why we won't do it.
But still, yes, they can be annoying about things, and we address that separately. We point out that we heard them, we know, if we get to a point where we could address their request and it seems like we've forgotten, it's time to remind us... but that while we are STILL doing the SAME thing that we needed to finish the LAST time they asked, it's too early to ask again.
So my eight-year-old has developed this technique of shuffling up really slowly, giving puppy-dog eyes, making this little throat noise, and pointing with a very small gesture at something desired. It's so insufferably cute that it gets annoying much, much more slowly.
โฆto this day Grinning Maniac is unable to ask for anything.
No really can you ask for things now like a raise or a date?
Or do you hear in your head "Well GM, we were going to give you a raise but since you asked we've changed our minds".
When I was 7, on my birthday, I asked my estranged not-even-part-time father if he'd gotten me something for my birthday. Keep in mind that it was long past noon, with no decorations or even someone in his household wishing me a happy birthday.
"Not if you ask, you don't."
Never mentioned my birthday again. Never received a gift. Thanks, Reddit; I thought I was over it. (Just kidding, I know I'll never be over it.)
That might be true, but you could possibly turn not getting over it into remembering never to behave like that (what made you so sad) to other people? Not like it is easy or anything, but that is what I am trying to do in my life. Just saying. This thread is cathartic, whew!
Or the classic five dollar toy, oh "no we can't afford it" mom buys a fifty dollar dress.
Naturage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:57:07 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This really hits home. I recall trying my best to balance between reminding my parents they promised a treat and not annoying them by constant whining to get it.
Whoever says pre-school or school are the easiest days of your life has definitely forgotten the struggles of a 5 year old.
I HATED this. It's such a cop out from parents who can't stand up to their kids. If you want to say no, then say it. Don't blame the kid for asking! Their needs and wants are TOTALLY different from an adult, and it's not reasonable to expect a child with a couple years of life experience to read your f'ing mind.
snort Grrr...Now I'm all riled up. Time to go clean something....
uttplug ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:19:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
parents consistently act like illogical asses while kids always seem confused by the moral inconsistency; therefore, kids have more abilities with logic; therefore, accept my child overlords
How the hell could anyone, with even the slightest iota of intelligent thought, believe that banning a child from asking for things is a good idea. Just thinking about the potentially profound retardation of the child's social skills is sickening to me.
Ban whining, sure, but asking? Pointing something out? What the fuck.
I did this as a camp counselor, at the end of the day, we give the kids freezies. They're not supposed to choose their freezie colour, and I usually gave each kid what was at the top of the pile. If they asked for the colour they wanted, and it was at the top of the pile, I would go out of my way to grab a different colour.
"Hey, what do you want?" "insert random color here" "WELL TOO FUCKING BAD, YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO WANT ANYTHIG!"
Seriously, what the fuck. That's an asshole move there. Kids aren't allowed to want anything other then what they give you? How the fuck would you feel if you went to a restaurant and asked for a steak and got the complete opposite I f what you wanted? Like why the fuck would you take away that choice? There's nothing more remotely nice or good about that.
Let me rephrase the original post, we were allowed to give then there choice as a reward for being good, if the kid was good, i'd ask them before hand what colour they wanted. The group of kids I was working with were a mess, and more often than not the kid asking had been bad that day. If a kids been calling you names, throwing rocks, not listening, etc., your not gonna give them the colour they want, that reward is reserved for the good ones.
You get what you get and you don't have a fit. My 7-year-old is actually pretty good about this.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:43:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was about 15, I asked my dad to take the parent lock off my computer. It would block webpages because of the word 'snigger'. I asked him politely about once a week and it never got done. Finally, I saw my little brother have a temper-tantrum and immediately get what he wanted. So I had a temper-tantrum about the fact I had been asking nicely for months and apparently the only way to get what you want is to have a temper tantrum about it. Dad fixed it the next day.
grocket ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:34:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Shit, nothing worse than being reminded you forgot to do "science" with your 5 year old as you tuck them into bed the night before you go back to work. :(
I still remember all the things that we should do later, anticipating, dreaming about, thinking about. But as an adult, whenever someone says "well do it later" i just take it as an polite way of saying no thanks.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:45:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I brought that up with my mom, she had an emotional breakdown and said it was because she never had the money to do all the things she told us...
My brother had a legless plushie that he wanted sewed and my mom kept saying "later". Once he got impatient and told her "mom it has been two years". She noticed it was true and laughed a lot, and only then sewed it right away
To kids, later means "in 30 seconds". They have a totally warped perspective of time from adults. What I do is set an alarm on my phone with the kid in front of me "we'll do it when the alarm goes off" is something they can grasp easily.
Yea, well, but they'll need to learn whining and throwing a tantrum because they didn't get what they want doesn't work for me. Learning how to calm themselves and speak to me like a reasonable person will yield the best results.
And they don't get upset with me. It's nothing personal. They're allowed to have emotions and be upset and disappointed but they're not allowed to act like a little shit for it. Nothing surprising about it.
About 50% of the time whilst playing neo-tokyo (and someone complained), if our team lets 1 goal in, they usually try to forfeit/leave. You're telling me I should lose ranked points because of some trashy people playing on a poorly designed map? 10/10 infallible logic, would suggest others read.
xxiLink ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:43:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Later" is a relative term. Like "tomorrow." Makes Annie a bit more depressing.
RNZack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of saying "we can do that later," say "remind me later and we can do that."
G8kpr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This. I often forget too. Or worse is that our weekends seem to get so booked up so quickly that I promise to do something, or organize a play date, and it just doesn't happen. I hate letting them down that way.
As a new mother, I can totally see this happening. No malicious intent, just holy-fuck-i-run-two-businesses-and-sometimes-i-might-forget-shit. I like your approach and will probably steal it.
So in August of 2001 we were on a trip to New York and while on the subway I saw that the World Trade Center was a stop on our way. I wanted to go see it. My mom said I could come back later, on another trip with friends. I never got any friends.
I always say that hoping my daughter will forget about whatever frustratingly involved project she wants to get into ("Mommy I want to take all these bath toys down to the pool even though it's 55F outside!" "Mommy I want to dump out all my Legos and build a space ship with them and I need you to help me but I'm going to yell at you the whole time that you're doing it wrong!").
It usually works. And when it doesn't ... ugh. Spaceship time. Because I did say we could do it later, and I don't want to be a liar. Sigh.
yaosio ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:25:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She sounds like people on chat in any multiplayer game.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:00:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I always intend for there to be a later. But then kids and work and house stuff intervene, and then you add in body image issues, and it's just the easiest thing to push aside. I'm really working on being better about it.
Ughhh that is the worst. My mum used to always say the words "inshallah," which translates to God willing in Arabic. I hated that word because it basically meant NO, but still gave you hope.
"Hey mum, can we please go to the park on Friday?"
"Inshallah"
"Will you take us to the cinemas?"
"Inshallah"
This one so much. I always tried to ask my mom for really simple stuff too, like can we watch this movie, can we watch this on tv, can we play this board game, can we play this video game, can we walk around outside. Fucking can we do ANYTHING together PLEASE? "Maybe later, darling." She either read books until she fell asleep or fell asleep shortly after and then it was just me and my Playstation until bedtime. And by bedtime I mean I honored the bedtime she had set for me by myself because she never once woke up to tuck me in or anything.
uttplug ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:16:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it's disgusting how willfully so many parents will just lie to get their kids to shut up.
uttplug ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:17:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
preganancy classes should include rigorous training in ethics and if you fail - No Baby For U
BlLE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid, I went over to a friend's house and was completely shocked when his mother would say, "sure honey, we can do that another day" or "we can do it later ok?" whenever my friend asked her for something (like going to SeaWorld, the movies, or blockbuster to rent GTA San Andreas). My parents would just say straight up "no."
I was even more shocked when he would start whining or pitching a fit after she said it. I was like, "dude? Your mom just said we could get pizza later, wtf is the problem?"
I had no idea that when parents said that stuff, it basically meant it would never happen.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:17:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BlLE ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:53:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Awh that's sad :(
Sounds like he really wants a puppy.
to be fair dogs are a lot of hard work and if both parents work it's not fair on the dog. I have a small child and I'd like for him to have a dog one day but I'll have to work full time soon and I know we probably shouldn't have a dog. still it's kind of mean to string him along.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:49:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking McDonald's play place, every time. "We can go next time"
Yeah, I now assume 'later' means 'no'. That was a bone of contention between the ex and I. She got upset when I recognised that she had no intent to ever do the thing.
The song "someday never comes" didn't really have that much meaning until I had kids and realized that there are things that I might never actually get to do with or show my children.
Yet I still have to tell them "later," "another day," and "not right now" because life is complicated and sometimes I'm not telling them that I'm really saying it to my own inner child, who doesn't care about work, or cleaning the house or doing the dishes and just wants to go and play too.
My mother would do this. She'd say like, "we can do that this weekend" then the weekend comes and I ask her about whatever it was and then get "I never said we could do that" This is why I have trust issues
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was little I would always ask my mom if we could go to Disney world. Her response was always "we will when you're a bit older so you can remember it better."
Ohhhhh, now synthesize this saying with going to the mall!
My mother never followed through! Lolol, but now I understand momma...
modstms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Mother would always say, "We'll do that tomorrow." To this day, I always make people repeat what they say six times, if it has something to do with what they are doing tomorrow, and eighteen if it involves me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We can do that later" Then "later" never comes!
My parents did this to me on a road trip when I was real little. We were in Florida, I saw signs they had Disney Land as we got closer to signs saying leaving Florida. Said can we go, can we go??? "Sure, but later." I didn't put 2 and 2 together, but we lived in Utah. Still never been to Disney Land.
I recently realized my parents did this because we didn't have the money to do the thing, not because they didn't want me to do it but because telling a small kid "no we can't afford it" is kind of hard
errorme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This became a joke in my family. There was a carnival that used to visit our city once a year and I always wanted to go. Parents always said we'd go next year, but it stopped traveling sometime while I was in elementary school before we ever went. Honestly I forgot about it till high school, but it became the reason why my childhood was 'terrible'.
We were supposed to pit up a fence in out yard to hide a trailer when it's not in use. It would only cost $450 max, but she keeps putting it off. It's been over 4 months since I we first came up with the idea.
My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, dad; come on, let's play
Can you teach me to throw?"
I said, "Not today, I got a lot to do."
He said, "That's okay."
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My family and I went to Universal Studios Orlando when I was a kid. ALL I wanted to do was visit Nickelodeon studio and maybe see a taping of like double dare or whatever. All day the said "later" "later" and when they were ready it was closed (Nickelodeon closed earlier than the park). I was SOOO pissed I cried. Yeah...they wanted to ride the E.T. ride 3 more times before hitting Nickelodon...bastards. I still give my mom and step dad shit for it.
I will forever remember the second ceramic 'my little pony' that got put away for 'later' that I never got to do. You got the press the clay in a mold, paint it, put in a tail, and fire it. I still have the first one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or tomorrow ! I must still lived the same day for now 21 years.
I do a worse thing. I will never commit to anything with my kids. The pizza could be on it's way to my house, and I still won't tell them we're having pizza for dinner. "We'll see" is probably what I say to my kids the most.
It's a defense mechanism, cause my wife does the opposite. She promises them things that are only slightly probable. And then we have to deal with the kids being upset later when it can't happen. So I go polar opposite. I'm still supportive and whatnot, I still pull through a large majority of the time, but I swear to God, I'm probably gonna put "We'll see" on my kids' wedding invitation RSVP.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad said he would come back later..
j0y0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She didn't say you would do it later, just that you could, so it's not technically a lie.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I tell my kids I'll think about it. My five year old will say can we do it tomorrow? If I agree he will happily go on his way and promptly forget about it. If I say No it is a complete meltdown. Then with my nine year old he will ask and I'll tell him give me a minute and it's the end of the world or he will literally stand there and count to sixty.
Draiko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That also works if you're running a large company or you're a politician.
to be honest i do this with people, people do this with me. we say 'yea later' and later sometimes does happen, sometimes never! it's weird but hey we find our way.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I started a list of things my parents said they'd do later. They did not appreciate me gifting them said list on mom's birthday with the words "Get mom a present" at the bottom of the list.
-cDJ- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
xxfay6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a story where I got told "no" as in "later", which inadvertently turned to "no".
My elementary was taken to a dad-son Bowling day, with my grandpa filling in (work). When they say on the PA that they were going to give tours into the back for those interested in seeing the system, with the first half lanes going in a few minutes followed by the others later.
I asked my grandpa if I could go (we were on the first half), but a couple of times he tells me no. After a while, depressed and defeated I go to the restroom, while I overhear the announcement asking the second half to line up.
I come back and the first thing I see is my lane going to the back, followed by the door closed. While I went to the restroom, everybody else on the table heard the PA (didn't notice myself they ignored the first two), chose to go and left me and my grandpa behind.
So while I guess people forget, it doesn't make it any less meaningful for us especially when there's nothing else much more meaningful for us. I know they didn't do it on purpose, but that doesn't mean I don't get extremely mad whenever I remember.
Evidence of this that I'll never let my parents live down. We went to universal studios one year and on the way in was Nickelodeon Studios and I wanted to go in so bad. My mom said we'll go in there later on our way out.
Guess who didn't get to enjoy Nickelodeon studios.
Every time I wanted some kind of junk food or treat at like a movies or amusement park or something of that nature....we literally never had that item at home :(
I use this one. I feel extremely guilty, not because I don't want them having treats, but I don't have a job and can't afford treats at every stop :(
eazolan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:30:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why is it so hard to say you can't afford it?
I would think that it would drive home the point that you need to make good money to afford good things. And they'll start thinking about how to do that.
Depending on how old your kids are, they might not really understand what that means. Also, my mom told me when I was 8 that she didn't have lunch money for the rest of the week because we couldn't afford it. She wasn't being completely serious, she was just frustrated because we were beginning to scrape the bottom of the barrel for a while, but it caused me sooooooo much stress for a while. I remember saving up money from the tooth fairy or wherever I picked up loose change and thinking that now I could eat lunch when my parents finally do go broke.
eazolan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:40:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's a difference between stressing kids out about not being able to afford the necessities of life. Like food or a home.
Versus being able to afford extra things like ice cream or McDonalds.
My mother was honest when we couldn't afford something. If there was a toy I wanted and my parents couldn't afford it, my mom would straight up tell me. I would never throw a tantrum or anything of the sort. I would feel a little bit bad for asking but since I was respectful and well-behaved she would get me some of the stuff I wanted when she could afford it, even if my dad would get mad at her if he found out. I still respect and appreciate that to this day.
eazolan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right. As long as it's not a necessity of life. Like food, clothing, and shelter. Not having money for that will start making the kid worry.
Wants a piece of cake, parents say we have that at home, looks in fridge and there is only fruits and veggies
Ecomania ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:44:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I asked for food because we were shopping all day my mum replied "At home we have bread, you can eat that as soon as we are back" then we went on shopping for a few more hours. Thank you mum now I have to remind me to eat because my body doesn't tell my anymore weather I'm hungry or not.
I was the favorite until I stopped calling. My brother has been in horrible legal trouble for over ten years now so calls my mom whenever he needs bail. She adores it.
I live with my mom and brother and barely talk to either of them. Now my brother's travelling around the world (he's advertising Bossaball, wich is pretty fucking cool) and my mom's been kinda depressed since he left.
I'm the middle child and have been my dad's clear favorite for as long as I can remember. Once we grew up, I became my mom's favorite too after my older brother gave the whole family the brush off.
Sorry to my little bro, though, he was never anyone's favorite..
Tasdilan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Disagreeing in my case. Youngest of three brothers, my middle brother did take a year abroad in america during school, finished uni relatively fast with a master, has a good job, is married. Preeeetty sure hes the favourite child by a LOT and i cant blame my parents.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:55:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't say never. I'm the oldest in my family, it seems to me that my parents like my younger (middle) sister more than me.
I've read somewhere mothers do love their kids the same, but tend to care a bit more about the youngest kids (usually sons), and I can confirm this since I'm the younger son that had extremely rebellious puberty, and still am a bit hard to handle, and my mom still tolerates me, when, if my older brother was like that, he'd be dead and inside the house until he gets married.
Jushak ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:11:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my case I got off everything easy because my older sister was very rebellious and I never cared enough about most things to bother rebelling.
Hell, apparently even as a baby I was the docile one that just happily slept days away where as my sister was the kind that kept my parents awake all night long.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:51:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. Am the older sister and my younger brother is definitely the more loved one. But it's ok. My mom and I have a special relationship on our own and I'm my dad's favorite and he's way more generous than my mom.
I am employed full time and my dad still insists on giving me $50 for "spending money" often. I say no, but still.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:42:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She absolutely does. Moms always love the youngest the most. Can confirm as the youngest of three and only boy. I could do no wrong.
My mom loves the oldest the most in our family... because she's the only girl.
Tasdilan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother allways wanted a daughter. Were three brothers, no sister.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My little brother was the golden child, got away with EVERYTHING and my entire family coddled him for so long. Now, he's not a bad guy, but he's extremely immature and doesn't have his shit together. My mother finally saw the error of her ways recently. I know she loves us both, but I just moved up the totem pole to the favorite and I gotta say, it feels good man.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I live with my grandparents and parents (I'm the oldest) my brother is the grandparents' favorite, but I'm the parents' favorite.
Can unconfirm. Youngest and only girl. Mom hates me. Maybe it's because I'm girl; maybe it's because my brothers have a different dad (but she's still married to my dad so??? :/)
Source: Mother loves my druggie middle brother with 2 kids at age 19 more than she loves me. Don't get me started on my oldest brother. He's like Jesus level godly to her despite being a high school drop out and still living at home at age 21.
As a younger brother (I'm taller, so not little) I can confirm that the youngest is treated differently, more lenient. But the first child is and always will be the first child. But to my mom we are all her favorite. Even my sister, the middle child. Of course the youngest can get away with the most shit....
My older sister was the one who took the brunt of my parents' extreme displeasure when she stopped going to church. It was the "You'll go to church as long as you're under my roof" type of response. She started lying to them about going (she'd go drive somewhere for a hike, or whatever), then got out of the house when she went to college. Sometime in late high school, I stopped going to church, and I didn't even have to lie about it. My parents weren't happy with it, but I didn't get the same extreme treatment as my sister. I would go on Christmas and Easter for years just to make them somewhat happy, then stopped doing even that. Now, I'll go to some of their Knights (and Ladies) of Columbus events mainly because I like to help people out when I can. I don't go to church, though. As a female, I have issues with the Catholic church.
Vydor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel the exact opposite about my older brother. Pretty sure they love him more than me, and it's because he's more awesome than me. At least that's how I feel.
Idk I'm a little brother and my big bro is way better than me. I get given cooler shit than he did but that's just because we have more money now, he's definitely the favourite
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a favourite child, I feel like shit when one of my siblings feels like they're treated unequally.
'Where is tready93? I haven't seen him for a week.' Said to my sister who she hasn't spoken to for over 3 weeks.
You and me both, I made all the mistakes so he simply had to do the complete opposite. It works though, now the expectations are so spectacularly low for me that being a functional adult is somewhat of an achievement and he is smart.
I actually try to make my parents prefer my brother. I know I can deal with them not liking me as much, I just don't know if he can. I want him to be happy so I make my parents like him more if I can.
I love that you think your little brother is awesome. I hope my daughter's continue to love each other as they do now. But they're both pretty young. And girls. And girls can be mean lol.
I am the little brother.. I also believe that my mom loves me more.
rdewalt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Many years ago, not long before my father passed away, he and I drove across the country. I was moving to CA and he'd always wanted to go. So, I took him.
After a long day of "There isn't shit to see in Kansas unless you love fields" (seriously, we'd joke about how the state was so boring, Kansas City left to become part of Missouri) We stopped at a bottle shop and proceeded to unwind with a formidable bottle of Brain Lubricant.
After we were both quite thoroughly smished, He admitted that both my younger siblings were absolutely, positively treated far, far more as favorites by my mom, than I ever was. And that I was right all those years ago when I called her on it.
He said he didn't remember us talking, so I never told him what he confirmed. And my mom wonders why I don't call often at all.
yertr3y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I agree 100% with this. My mom loves my little brother like 1 million times more than me. It hurts sometimes. Ah well....I'm the practice son.
fisch09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of four children I'm the second most liked, third most enjoyed, first most appreciated, and by far the biggest disappointment =) all pertaining to my mother's point of view. I'm pretty sure she loves us all the same though. I think losing any of the four of us would be equally as devastating to her.
My younger sister is a shitfuck and my parents still love her more.
nbqt2015 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have this creeping feeling that our mom is more proud of me because I started my life and moved states away with my husband, but loves my older sibling more because of a crazy run of bad health and worse luck.
When one child is relatively fine and the other one is struggling, you gotta focus on the one that's struggling. I don't really mind because I want the best for my sibling too!
My boys are 16 months apart and I worry about this a lot.
Right now I like the baby more, he's quieter, somehow cleaner even tho he spends most of his time literally rolling around on the floor, he stays where I put him for the most part. I still get to cuddle and he'll fall asleep on me and it's so sweet.
Toddler is learning to talk tho, he says stuff that's sort of phonetically right but not real words yet. Pancake is pak kak. And he will do "dude!" And 'what did you do?' If something falls he'll state/inquire "boken"?! He squeakes the sounds of "where's Korben?" "Deh ee ii" there he is.
Ok, they are both amazing for different reasons and I guess I'll be alright. :)
diverdux ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 17:24:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They do love you equally, they just like you differently...
Fabgrrl ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:57:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, that is 100% true! I'd run into a burning house for either one of them, but there's only one I'd be willing to endure a weekend alone with.
From my mother it would be: "I love all of you equally."
Then she would proceed to dump all collective resources into pleasing my little brother. There were four of us, he was the only one who didn't struggle through early adulthood.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:17:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am a middle child so my older and younger brother are both spoiled. My parents bought both of them a car when they turned 16 I had to buy my own car at 18 with no help.
[deleted] ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 15:55:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My Grandma definitely has a pecking order with me, my brother and cousins. The order is:
My brother is top. He's the eldest grandchild and naturally really clever. Attended a top university and now has a second degree. I imagine being male (surprisingly) plays into this too. He is now a nurse which means he has a really highly respected job and one of the community in her eyes.
Older female cousin. She's always been super hardworking and did really well in school/university. Her subject was Maths so this is a "real" subject to her. Now a maths teacher so again with the helping the community respected job theme. Oldest granddaughter as well.
Younger female cousin. Again very hard worker and always the one who needed looking after and someone to stick up for her when growing up. My Grandma was always there to help with that. Did very well in school but it was only in some fashion sewing subject. Has a degree and is a teacher
Me. Aged between my cousins. Dropped out of school (at 17 in UK, school was compulsory to 16). Spent a year with no job. No degree and I now live 5 hours away from all my family while they all live within 10mins drive of each other. Despite my no degree, I am about 3/4 of the way to being a fully qualified accountant and will probably be earning more (when qualified) than my brother and cousins combined but that doesn't seem to cut it for her. I am seen as only "going after the money".
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 16:31:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you! It seems like your whole family, including you, are all hard workers. You keep doing you
saikron ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:50:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gran will change her tune come a few Christmases from now.
Pretty sure we've got a similar family dynamic. Grandfather's pecking order:
Sister on top. She's the eldest grandchild. Attended a top university. Became a doctor, just like my grandfather was.
Younger female cousin. Smart, very academic. Getting her masters/PhD.
Younger male cousin. Smart, studying CS in university. No doubt will be a successful engineer one day.
Me. University dropout. Taught myself how to code, so I spend my time bouncing between a stable software development career and traveling the world for months at a time/existential dread. No clue where I'm going in this life.
That actually sounds likr an adventure. Come 40 years from now your family will wish they traveled like you are now.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:12:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure on other countries. But in the UK, you can do AAT then ACCA (or whatever your professional qualification of choice is) or just start at ACCA and do the foundation level.
Accountancy degree is completely not needed in UK.
With my family, if you pack up and move hours away it's seen as not such a good thing. It's almost like abandoning the family. It could be up to ethnicity, I'm not sure about english people, but with italians they think something went wrong if one of the people in the family takes off like that. Maybe she thinks you abandoned everyone and that makes her upset as a grandmother. Or maybe not. Maybe I don't know you or your family and nothing I said is relevant. I just have my experiences.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
With all due respect, fuck her. You don't need anybody's approval.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing as I said to the other guy:
I'm not sure on other countries. But in the UK, you can do AAT then ACCA (or whatever your professional qualification of choice is) or just start at ACCA and do the foundation level.
Accountancy degree is completely not needed in UK.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got lucky cause all of my family did shit in school before me so when I did ok but still dropped out at 17 (UK) and got an IT Apprenticeship with some Grades I still have the highest education.
My mother's favorite is totally my brother (the oldest of the three of us) but my father has a closer relationship to my sister (oldest girl) and favors her a lot more than me (youngest of the three). However, my sister was the youngest for ten years, until I was born. Perhaps the bond had already been forged and I couldn't pry my way in there.
Okay, I'm not calling you a liar or anything, especially with that link down below, but "scientifically proven" makes you sound like an infomercial.
"There is some compelling evidence" is how a scientist would say it.
GaryLLLL ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:21:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love both my children equally and always will.
However there are many days where I certainly like one of my kids much more than the other.
Shog64 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:47:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this makes more sense. I never heard about favorites in my (huge) family more that one kid is sometimes more annoying/etc. than the other one depending on the situation.
My little brother was always very clearly the favorite even though my parents always claimed otherwise. I can't remember him getting punished for anything.
My second child is ten months old. I'm waiting to see if I'll develop a favorite.
My little brother and I sort of switch between who's the favourite of our parents depending on who's doing better in life. Right now, I'm both of my parents' favourite. We both openly wish for the other's destruction in order to make us look better by comparison.
Clearly my mom loves me the most, since I'm the oldest.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's hard to compare. Each kid has their own unique personality. Some of you are more pleasant to be around but if it came down to like a volcano and can only choose one, probably just make us all die trying to save everyone.
I'm usually in 3rd place out of 4 kids. We know who's in first and last. My sister and I switch places between 2nd and 3rd depending on recent history.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom says this and I believe it. My older brother is a failure. But she does so much to help him out. But he keeps blowing his opportunities. She's counting in me to look after him once she's gone. We're 16 years a part.
My parents really do their best to treat me and my sister equally. I think the edge goes to my sister, though, as she's actually produced a grandchild. I have no interest in having kids. It's kind of a shame for my parents, as my sister's family lives in England, but my husband and I live just around the corner.
My mother used to say: "You are my favorite son!" I loved to hear that until I was old enough to realize I only have a sister so i'm literally the only son she has. Thanks mom, love you too.
There is no doubt what so ever that out of the 5 of us, I am the black sheep. We'll all grown now, and sitting around dinner we went around rating each sibling on things like income, parenting, morality, etc.
I have fucked up siblings and my mom always said that. I'm the most normal out of all of them and one day she said, "you were the easiest to raise." It made my day because I now know I'm the favorite. The only other time she said something that wonderful was on the way to Easter dinner when my sister was being a pain in the ass. We took separate cars and the second she got in the car my mom said, "God she is such a fucking bitch."
It's pretty obvious that I'm the favorite child, which makes it really awkward for me with the other siblings. Seriously, if I try and help them out of a situation, Mom goes off on all of us for trying to "poison my mind".
Middle child here. This never worked on me. My parents still make it clear that I'm a second class member of the family and that they love my daughter more than they ever loved me.
So, growing up I had 7 siblings from my mother's side of the family. Only my brother and I were born from my mom. (The rest are adopted foster kids or step.)
I'm the youngest. So everyone always assumed I was the favorite. I was the smart one, the one who was going places. I was also quite sickly growing up so demanded a lot of my mother's attention. So finally it came out when my brother was having trouble adjusting that he never got any attention from my mother because I was the favorite.
My mother was shocked. She asked my other siblings and they all thought I was the favorite. Except me. I thought my brother was the favorite. My mom yhen finally told us all that my brother was in fact the favorite because he was so self sufficient. My mom didn't have to worry about him. I on the other hand while smart was utterly useless in things like social interactions and needed constant tending. She also thinks I'm supremely annoying...
My relationship with my mother has been a bit strained since. And my brother still hates her.
Moral of the story. Don't let your kids know whose the favorite. Everyone will end up hating you.
My sister's name was the password for everything. My name was the password for exactly 0 accounts. Funny enough though as adults I'm closer to mom than she is because she moved across the country right out of high school.
I am an only child, but we have a 4 year old daughter and a 4 month old daughter. I love them both in completely different ways. The baby gets my attention more right now because, well, she's a baby lol. One of my fears is one thinking we love the other more and this is one of those things I'll have to learn as we go because I have never experienced siblings. Did you ever go through a time that you thought your parents shows favoritism?
Blick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom got around this. She would say "I have to love you both, but I don't always have to like you both."
My mother is a "love you all equally" parent when it comes to which child she loves most. My father vacillates between "whoever lives furthest away" and "whoever makes him a sandwich."
There's always a favorite, and if you act like a little shit to your parents while doing your own thing all the time, you're not the favorite.
Twin boy and girl. I tell them I love them equally. I'm a giant fucking liar because he's a rude, entitled, little shit who never wants to sit and talk at the dinner table, never does anything nice unless asked to, kicks and screams whenever there are chores to be done, and complains every time his sister plays with any of his friends. He also does... okay in school.
She, on the other hand, makes father's day cards by hand, sits and "helps" me do stuff like fix their computer or my car (even if she can't do much of anything, it's still nice to be able to teach her how to do this stuff, plus company is always appreciated), always says "please and thank you", and does extremely well in school.
Not only is she much more pleasant to be around, but I look like a total asshole when I feel like I have to heap praise on him because he got a B instead of a C this semester and didn't get any behavioral write-ups, while she is ashamed if she has more than one B and has only ever had one behavioral write-up ever.
Then I go to take her to Dairy Queen as a reward for her good grades, he pitches a fit, and then his mom makes me take both of them even though he didn't do anything to deserve it.
So then I take her again the next day and don't tell anyone where we're going.
TL;DR - Trust me, parents play favorites... and if you're not sure whether or not you're the favorite, be assured that you're not.
brberg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My sister was so bitchy when she was a kid that my mom once actually admitted she liked me better.
I've always been my dad's favourite because I looked like his big sister. He just doted on me (still does) and its fairly obvious to my two younger sisters. He was gone a lot as I was growing up (worked far away for long hours) so I faced a lot of blacklash from my mom for him adoring me as much as he did. Still nice to be someone's favourite...even if everyone else punishes you for it.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm the "favourite" child, because both of my siblings are hyperactive, overly rude and sarcastic, and just love to toe the line of what is and isn't polite.
I, however, am just like my parents in that I have always been a quiet person. I was also always a rule follower (some might call it "goody two shoes") when I was younger, and will actually help out around the house, sometimes even unprompted!
My parents do say the "we love you all equally" thing, and they've never said anything else to any of us, but it's just a feeling I get...
My mother strongly preferred my older brother to me. That said, so did the Catholic priest, who molested him for several months.
Mom still prefers my brother to me, but she also has tremendous guilt still because she is the one who thought the priest would be a 'good role model' since my father was out of town a lot for work. Turns out, that's exactly why the priest targeted my brother.
My grandmother has a clear preference. My brother plays sax and does art and is generally a more creative person.
I'm a programmer who works on a Robotics team.
My grandfather, who earned all of the money in the family, was an engineer at Chrysler and worked on Redstone rockets.
Guess which of us she prefers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My sister is seriously socially retarded but my parents make excuses for her cause they know they did a shit job raising her (during the recession they were never around, so she became an entitled little shit), so she gets preference in conflict situations but my parents have much higher expectations for me. But my grandparents love me, so I get preference all the time from them.
As a little brother, my mom will always love me more.
I will, however, never have to full respect of my father.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You had better appreciate that golden child shit every day. Just know that no matter how old your little bro is now, he still wants up on your pedestal.
As a middle child with a mom who never wasted a moment telling family and strangers how great my older brother and younger sister were when I was a kid, can confirm. Absolute lie.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:11:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Parents definitely have favourites.
They've had two cats for a few years and they've even got their favourites of those two.
toboner ยท 2439 points ยท Posted at 15:53:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll be right back." says mother as you're in the grocery check out line, as the conveyor belt proceeds to complete conveying all the groceries, and then the nice man tells you the total. All the while you curse your mother for taking you to the grocery store in the first place. Still no sight of mom.
[deleted] ยท 1106 points ยท Posted at 18:10:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
when i was a checker i always made sure to acknowledge the circumstance with children. I wouldn't say anything expecting them to pay if I saw the child was obviously waiting for a parent. I would just say something like "mom left you alone huh?" "sorry about that bud don't worry we can wait a bit" and smile reassuringly. Sometimes worked sometimes made the kids panic more tbh xD
Man I'm 22 and still get ticked when my parents do this to me. Had one shit experience recently at Costco where my father went back to get eggs. We were in line at the time so he should've been back in time but wasn't. I GOT SCOLDED BY THE CHECKER FOR NOT LETTING AN EMPLOYEE GET THE THING WE FORGOT. There wasn't anyone behind me waiting either so it's not like we were wasting anyone's time but our own. Fuck, I still panic about that.
I hate when I get scolded by a stranger. Especially when they are convinced you're doing something wrong on purpose. They could just politely advice you how to do it next time, but noooooo... /rant
You're right. Firefighters for sure and doctors maybe. It depends what their scolding me for. Not having a good diet or doing some dumb shit that caused me harm would be acceptable examples.
I had to scold a group of rowdy teenagers who ran (like, actually sprinted) into my cafe 20 minutes before closing, sitting down and not ordering anything and being generally loud and obnoxious. I had no problem telling them that the least they could do is being quiet and how pissed I would be if they left any of their trash.
Kid told me he already ordered, and showed me his bottle of coke. Sucker, we don't have coke.
That's about the only reason I'd scold a stranger though /rant
21 here. See, now whenever that happens to me I just end up paying for the groceries to save face. Could be a tactic but Idk since it seems to be instilled in every parent. Maybe some evolutionary trait in saving resources (money).
Costco requires the membership card which I don't have. Not to mention I don't have the money on hand to just drop a couple hundred on groceries (family of 4 for a few weeks).
Stresses me the hell out when we get in line at the store and my wife runs back to get something. I mean, I've got my wallet and everything but for whatever reason it gets to me.
I'm 30+ years old and when my wife does this I get annoyed. 10x more annoyed when she has my wallet in her purse.
Why does she have it there? Probably because I asked her to hold it 30 mins ago for some random reason. So that's half my fault I guess, so only 5x.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
While they are an asshole for yelling at you, please understand that those cashiers are under a lot of stress. They have very specific time goals to get a customer in an out of their lane.
I learned at about age 12 NEVER to let my slow-ass old lady of a mother go get shit. I'd just run and get it myself because I know I'm faster. I'm an adult and I still do that. "Oh you forgot the milk, mom? That was on YOUR list but whatever. Just go to the car and pay me back if I don't make it in time.
Man I was in the self checkout lane the other day and there was just a basket of items sitting on the floor? I'm like "move your feet lose your seat" so JUST as I'm sliding it to the side and stepping forward some exercise-outfit-wearing soccer mom appears out of nowhere "Oh that was mine I forgot the organic kale LOL" and goes in front of me.
As a cashier, I am filled with panic when that happens because I know the customers behind you might get mad and then take it out on me.
As far as you specifically are concerned, the cashier probably recognizes it's an awkward pause, and hopes you're aware that the cashier can't do anything except wait until that thing is brought to the register.
Man, I'm 32, and if my husband forgets that he wants fucking crackers and we're in line, he'll run and get them, while I'm standing there with card in hand. Even if there's no one behind us, I'm silently worried and shooting glances until he gets back to the register.
You're seeming a little judgemental here. It's possible the line was long and the dad thought he could get there and back soon enough. Maybe he knows where they are because he shops there all the time. Or frankly, you have no idea what the financial situation of said 22 yo is, and possibly he didn't have the money to cover it.
It just seems like at 22 this can easily be avoided.
Azrael11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Usually, but you don't know. Regardless, costco is anal about who is actually paying. They aren't even supposed to let him pay for it with his dad, the Costco member, standing right there. Discourages one person using his membership to let everyone else shop there.
Drudicta ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 20:15:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was evil.... "Did you come in to the store without money? No checkbook? A card? This is an awful lot of groceries, for just one little (boy/girl) like you. I can't just give them to you for free."
Either they'd fidget nervously or laugh and say "Yeah I did! You can give me food free."
edsobo ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:15:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, that's a golden opportunity to fuck with the parents for leaving the kid there by themselves. "Hey, if you're buying all these groceries, you may as well grab a few candy bars for dessert, right?"
Then little Yancy grabs a KitKat just as his mother turns back to the aisle and she savagely beats him and slams his head into the candy rack saying, "You want that candy you bowl cut headed fuck?" good times :)
Drudicta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:32:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hoho..... I like you.
Unfortunately I don't work in retail anymore. But I do still deal with a couple hundred people a day.
edsobo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:01:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I find that since I quit working retail, I can get away with fucking with bad customers even more. I would absolutely do this if I were stuck in line behind this mom/kid. I also like to be really noisy when the customer in front of me is paying more attention to their phone conversation than their transaction.
Drudicta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like tapping your fingernails on those metal dividers. "CLINK CLINK CLINK".
edsobo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:22:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or taking a bag of pistachios and shaking it around. "Don't you love that noise they make? It's so neat!"
When I worked at a Target I had that happen to me luckily I knew exactly where the item she needed was and I knew it wouldn't take as long as it was going to take me to scan everything. Gave the kid in the cart a sticker that we are allowed to give to kids. If a kid was a nice or said please or thank you or had an awesome outfit on they sometimes got 2.
For every bro like you there's also that one douche who gets huffy with the kid for holding up the process.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I made a point to be super nice to the kids, but a jerk to the parents, trying to rush them and show that they were holding up my line (without outright saying so bc then I didn't want to get fired).
"Alright chap, I've got a uniform and hat for you right here, I'll have you sweeping the aisles and taking the trash out, okay? I'll start you at minimum wage so it should only take you 54 hours to pay off the debt!"
Na you pretend they are there on their own..... ask them for their ID for the beer, ask them if they want plastic or paper, ask if they want their chicken packed with the beef (and other package preferences), ask them how they prepare a certain dish in which they are buying ingredients for, tell them their total and ask how they'll be paying.... I usually get a deer in the headlights lol ...... oh and the best part is when the wife leaves a husband behind with her purse... I make sure to let him know that it matches his outfit (authough I have to be careful with that one because one time it really was his)
Sigh....... I hate my job
Weep2D2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes worked sometimes made the kids panic more tbh xD
Naturally creepy smile too ? I know the feel bro/brodette
No, I haven't worked retail but I think I would rather be a heartless bastard to the kids than have the ten people waiting in line behind them pissed at me.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:59:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
eh im used to pissy people you realize how often people are pissy no matter how much you try to please them?
My mum did this every fucking time we went to the supermarket. I will never forgive her for the trauma it caused, as a whole line of people are waiting to buy their food and I'm standing there terrified.
Then the cashier asks if you have a card.. You don't know there phone number it's under but you tell him you do have a Ralph's/Vons card. More people are lining up and you have no idea what to do....
If I my mom would leave me to take something while our groceries weren't on a conveyer I would just let people behind to go first.
When I was older I just told her that I will run faster to take what she forgot, I took my time coming back to show her how it feels to be left at the register.
You: What tone?
Mum: Im warning you!
You: Seriously, what tone? Am I speaking in any cadence of sorts?
Mum: Thats it, no pudding for you after dinner, ya li'l shit!
You: Mum Im 23 pls...
Mum: No more cheerios for breakfast either! Its porridge or nothing now!
You: NOOOOO IM SORRY MMUMM PLS MAKE IT STOP sobs
Mum: Oh, and your dad and I were thinking of making you pay rent too. We were gonna leave that til after dinner but since you wont be receiving any, you can pay now or risk not having any tea with your crumpets.
This is the usual protocol in the UK. The person at the cash register, after having scanned everything and realizing that you are an 8 year old with no means of paying for a weeks worth of groceries for a family of 5, continues on as if you paid and then when the parent does inevitably show up all they have to do is pay up and then get their receipt.
Well, I'm not from UK, it seems like the protocol here is to sit and look annoyed like kid is the worst thing that happened in their life making a kid feel even worse than ever.
You can get to next in line and then let people go ahead of you one at a time.
quaid4 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:23:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happens to so many people. You'd think the cashiers would know how to handle the situation, but no they just ring you up at twice speed and sit there waiting for the money.
It's curious how everyone freaks out over this as a kid (myself included) but in reality the kid's not the one who looks bad, it's the parent who not only let their kid alone with a bunch of strangers but is also keeping other people in the queue waiting.
That shit killed me. Except we never got our stuff onto the conveyor belt I think. But god standing there watching the person in front of me get checked out always made me feel a real sense of dread. What if they get to our cart before she gets back? I can't pay for this shit. There's someone behind me oh my god she's not going to be back soon enough and I'm going to hold up the line and everyone will stare at me and be upset ohhhhh jeez oh no I'm so sorry everyone!
Whenever my mom would do that, I would get out of the line and go to the end of the longest one as soon as I reached the cashier. She stopped quick
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now that I'm living in a different country than my parents, when they visit, I take them to the store to have them wait in line while I pull the "I'll be right back." Who's laughing now, ma?!?
EgoIpse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People, the trick here is to volunteer yourself to go. You will probably run faster than your parents' walking speed and if it's a regular item you probably know the place/ general location. They get to be lazy and you get to not be anxious.
That or ask your parent for the credit card while you wait, if they trust you with it.
My dad has done this to me before recently, I paid for our $80 in groceries and moved outta line, to my car that I drove us in and loaded it. Went back in and chatted with cashier for five minutes, when he got back I handed him the receipt and said, "My bill." He felt bad that I paid for it and paid me back, but he never does this again.
"You're not fat, you're just big boned." gee, thanks mum.
[deleted] ยท 953 points ยท Posted at 15:29:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funny story, my brother in law was always a pudgy/fat kit. He always referred to himself as that and his mom always said "you're not fat, you're just husky".
One time he was riding in the car and saw a very obese kid, and his mom said something about that kid being 'husky'.
reminds me when my mom was rambling on one morning and i mentioned something about being fat. she decided to tell me that i wasnt fat and explained that i was just tall and big boned. the only thing i could think to say back was "there are no bones in my man-tits mom, im just fucking fat", she laughed for like 10 straight minutes and never brought up the term "big boned" again.
I had a chubby friend whose mom always called him "big boned" or "husky."
His sister called him fat one day when we were all in the car with his grandmother. He proudly replied "I'm not fat, I'm big boned and I'll grow into them."
His grandma laughed out loud and said "Kiddo, that's just something parents tell their fat kids. I'm sorry."
I don't think anyone else has broken his heart the way his grandma did that day.
As a husky owner, I sometimes think huskies are just the cats of the dog world. He only listens if you have treats, sometimes not even then. He is an asshole... If he wants to stop for a second to sniff a tree when we're out for a run, he will trip you. Does bad shit you don't even know he could do, open normal doors, open and close his cage, gets into the garbage, and when he hears you coming he runs to his food bowl and pretends that somehow the gate just phased out of existence long enough to escape, also that mess was always there. I seriously don't know how he escapes from his cage and closes it like he never opened it.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:48:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because you have to show that you are worthy of command, that is not some ridicolous inbreed neutered shithead, that is a dog.
Husky's only listen when they have a reason to. It's not just like any other dog. If you tell any other dog to sit, it will sit, huskys will look at you and laugh. Plus it's an exaggeration. He hurt my leg twice in two days and I wanted exaggerate the situation. Huskys are intelligent as hell and I am the only one in my family he listens too. He knows walking commands, which according to Reddit is incredibly hard to do ( because when I mentioned it people called it BS). He knows I'm boss, but he is his own "person" he won't listen unless he has an incentive.
I had a black lab growing up that did all those things too. The damnedest thing was we had two fucking dogs and a cage big enough to hold both of them comfortably that we kept in the basement and used when we left for the whole day (because otherwise our black lab would wreck shit) and when we would get home ONLY the black lab would be out of the cage. Our golden retriever would still be in the cage looking at us like "I dunno how he fucking did it either, but can you let me out so I can have fun too?"
melance ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:54:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because that was the name for the clothing size. Husky!
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:03:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember my jean size as a kid was whatever number followed by the word "husky". I knew I was fat, but that kind of reinforced the idea that it wasn't a choice. Like it was just a body type.
Hey, I've got a kid who wears "husky", and he's definitely not fat. (Cue a bunch of Internet strangers saying, "I bet he is and you and your pediatrician and all the other people who've ever laid eyes on him are just a huge bunch of liars!)
For those of you who are still with me... Honestly, his BMI is 17.7, or 46th percentile. Perfectly normal.
His father (my husband) is genetically almost entirely Italian, and he inherited the same frame... very broad shoulders, thick, heavy-boned frame, short stature. (My husband is 5'6".)
And that's how a kid with a normal, below-average BMI winds up with Husky pants. Usually in a size about two years' younger than his age.
TL:DR; Sometimes it honestly is just a body type.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 21:33:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know your situation. But that sounds exactly like my build growing up.
I was fat. Heard literally all of those explanations.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:07:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Italian-American here as well. In our family we always referred to that as being built "like an (our surname)." Literally, all the men in my family who resemble each other are built exactly like your husband and son. I'm short for a guy (5'8"), broad shoulders, wide hips. Some of us have the heavy bone structure but not all (including me, I'm not "big boned"). When I was a teen/young adult I always had to get pants a size larger than my waist because I have big, muscular thighs.
We do that too! "Built like a [surname]." Or, "He's got a [surname] butt."
My husband's father worked at his father's construction company as a teenager. Picture that frame you mentioned, packed down heavily with muscle. He was in the habit of, for instance, loading down two 60lb bags of concrete on each shoulder and carrying it across the site. He quit highschool football when it "became boring", because every play became "give him the ball and let him run it in", slow-motion, with up to five guys from the other team hanging off him if need be...
My husband has a desk job and doesn't work out, and even he can carry heavy loads around just by hanging them off his frame.
And he's got legs like tree trunks.
I, on the other hand, have a Western European mix with Eastern European Jew mixed in, and inherited the frame of a bird... my mother was driven to distraction raising us, because we were always like around 2% in height and 1% in weight and the pediatricians would treat her like they thought in secret that she was starving us, while she spent her days trying to get us to eat enough to bulk up a little...
My son, at age 12, wore size 10H; I, at age 12, wore size 8 slim.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:21:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom still to this day denies I was a fat kid....seriously mom? It's a battle when my kids go to visit because she shows her love via food and we just aren't about that 3000 calorie a day life at our house.
It's possible that you really weren't fat in her culture. There are many cultures, including America's less than a century ago, when a kid had to be a certain sort of chubby to be able to survive illnesses that might keep them from eating for days, or even a week or two... like diptheria, measles, rubella, polio...
Possibly. I am American, and my mom was 47 when I was born (so she's from a generation that got a lot sicker than mine), so I see what you're saying. I think it's more that moms just think their kids are wonderful and she doesn't want to think of me as anyway but perfect. I have be very careful with my kids, because I find myself telling them 'if you don't lay off the chips you're going to look like mommy did growing up'...probably not a very good way to promote positive body image...
I explain restricting chip access to them by pointing out that chips are a low-nutrition food, and saying that it's okay to have them occasionally (we tend to have them about maybe once a month, less often in the winter and more so in the summer) as long as we've had other, more nutrient-rich food lately.
I'll try that angle. My oldest is a super picky eater and has ~14 foods that he will eat that we just keep recycling over and over again. One of those is the Classic Lays that I send to school with his PB&J (every. single. day.) otherwise I probably wouldn't buy them at all.
I got my daughter to start eating peas by telling her that they make her eyes shiny, and the reason why Disney Princesses have such shiny eyes is because they eat peas.
The "earth apples" argument to get her to eat potatoes only worked once, though.
On the other end of the spectrum, my mom called me fat at 110 lbs (at 5'1).
audigex ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:17:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This one sucks because it's a case of a parent trying to make their kid feel better, but doing them damage in the long run.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
probably also a severe reason for the obesity epidemic in america, but now we have a generation trying to validate they're healthy at every size, yet dying at 40 from heart attacks
honestly, i wont be surprised at all when we have a cardiac crisis among my generation in the next 15 years
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What generation are you talking about?
nitssh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:11:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly; "you're not ginger, you're strawberry blonde." Like that helped when I went all Waterboy and say "Momma said I'm strawberry blonde" to the other kids.
Yes, well that's better than your mom telling you that your legs fit into your trousers like stuffed sausages. I'll never forgive her for that one.
Joetato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was the opposite and always told me I was fat and needed to lose weight. This actually continued into adulthood. When I was 20, I was 6'2" and weighed 160 pounds. She still kept bitching I was fat and said I needed to lose another 20 pounds.
Interestingly enough, not too long ago I checked a height weight chart and it actually said 160 at 6'2" is overweight. So maybe she was right.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my best friends, who later went on to become a DII offensive lineman (i.e. big guy), had the indignity to wear a shirt on his 2nd grade picture day that read, "I'm not fat, I'm just fluffy."
I believe we kept that yearbook in the locker room to tease him with for our entire HS football careers.
Oh god, I get pissed when my mom tries to say I was never fat. Oh really, then how did I lose 70lbs mom? Fit people don't lose 70lbs and not die. She always laughs now and says I have a point, but it is still annoying
Myzyri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always got "you're a husky boy!"
And back in the day, they actually had "husky" sizes in stores. I'd feel about two inches tall whenever mom or grandma would loudly ask where they kept the "husky sizes for my husky boy."
Might as well have just asked, "Where do you keep the tarps so I can cover up my corpulent son's fat ass? No one needs to see that nastiness!"
30 years later, that's what I thought about as I dropped 100 pounds... Jerks! Shaming me and giving me a complex to make me more healthy!
Siphon1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum still tells me that I had "baby fat" and was at a normal weight. Baby fat as a 16year old? I had to buy pants for women when I was 10,Mum!
But she believes that our family just isn't made to be thin. And that I'm on my way to being underweight.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone here on reddit that had a grandparent that was a concentration camp survivor and had a patent answer for that: "There weren't any fatties in Auschwitz!" .
wtfduud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I seriously don't understand why parents would encourage their kids to eat more than they're supposed to. My mother instantly told me I was a fat piece of shit when I started putting on weight in college.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hiciao ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Before I went to college, my mom told me I should lose weight because I would gain weight in college. I wasn't even fat.
Sawses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I understand the motivation here. Really, I do...But if you're fat, your parents are better served teaching you how to manage that problem, rather than denying it. I was very fortunate in that, even though I ate lots of shit, I never had a sweet tooth...so no major weight gain. Still, I hate when people I know refuse to acknowledge they're fat. Like, I don't want them to die in their fucking fifties.
Im slightly chubby but I am super strong. I mountain bike a lot so I have very thick strong legs. My body fat percentage is about 20-21 but my bmi is 34. My mother constantly tells me how fat and lazy I am despite anything I do. She always tells me I should get out more
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This guy, he's on the chubby side. His mom told him he was heavy because his blood type was heavy.
I remember in 10th grade this pudgy short semi-hardened latina girl tell me this. I was skeptical and then talking or overhearing on general topic conversation with my mom that people who use this argument are deceiving themselves because she well understood the difference in where when she was accused of using this excuse to cover her size, she could actually back it up with 1) size 12 feet and 2) great body strength (bench press ~200lbs). That's big-boned.
Give them the standard skeletal overview and strength test. You'll see whether they are fibbing or not.
That lie kept me fat for years. I'm 26 and in pretty good shape now. But I'm still pissed off about that. Everything I'd say to myself that I'm fat and need to work out, she say I wasn't and that nothing was wrong me. And I'd believe that bs. Thinking "hm. I guess I'm tripping". Every woman I know told me that same lie. That's why I never, to this day, ask a woman about her opinion regarding me. No offense to women.
Bones get stronger in response to stress on the bones. The more weight you carry, the bigger and stronger your bones will get. So you get big bones by having a lot of muscle or by being overweight.
I've had to look at countless MRIs and Xrays of different ages, genders and races. There is never any kind of difference in thickness/width circumference for those of the same height/gender.
j0m1n1n ยท 4194 points ยท Posted at 15:39:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"I took that birthday/Christmas check from Grandma and put it in your college savings fund."
There was no college fund. I had to pay for it myself. Still don't know what happened to those checks.
EDIT: Holy crap. RIP inbox. It's funny that whenever I mention how fucked up my childhood was, it gets upvoted through the roof. This wasn't even close to the most fucked up thing. Maybe I should finish my autobiography. There's a lot of wild, wonderful stuff in adulthood, too.
I didn't actually realize how fucked up and abnormal it was until my comment exploded. I thought it was within the range of normal. Turns out it isn't. It isn't actually nearly as big a deal as everything else that went on. It's not like I expected the twice a year $10-$25 check from Grandma to fully fund my higher education. The lie hurt me the most.
My best theory after considering your comments is that an account existed until my stepfather went to prison for sexually abusing me. I know that my mother remained married to him for years and liquidated all his assets, including the house, over the next few years. I know that I was hungry many nights while she spent the night with him instead of caring for me as he awaited trial. I think that she liquidated my meager college fund to finance her lifestyle after his assets ran out.
I'm no longer in contact with her. This isn't even in the top 100 reasons.
Damn, that's a crappy feeling. I found out about the checks when my Grandpa asked me what I spent the money on. Turns out I owed him a decade of thank-yous, and had looked like an ungrateful little shit the whole time...
leiawars ยท 352 points ยท Posted at 20:22:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My step dad was intercepting our mail and stealing all of the money and checks from our birthday and Christmas cards. We found out years later when his aunt sent us photocopies of the checks with our forged signatures...
nopooq ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 20:42:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is this something you can involve the law over? I mean, the signatures are forged.
leiawars ยท 97 points ยท Posted at 21:03:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happened 20+ years ago. My mom had their marriage annulled and his 3rd wife left him when she found out he had been lying to her for years. She took care of him after he has a brain aneurysm and he paid her back with cheating and pathological lying. No surprises there. He had another aneurysm afterwards that messed him up pretty badly. He now lives in a home, has some level of brain damage, and none of his wives, kid's, or step kid's have anything to do with him. I think he got what was coming to him.
I am a firm believer that the universe is a purely chaotic and random place, but it is stories like these that make me believe Karma may actually be a thing.
leiawars ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:01:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The truly sad part is that I feel like it's his kid's who really lost out. Aside from the lying, I feel like he was a good dad. He was engaged and seemed to enjoy playing with us. He didn't mind being silly either. If he hadn't been a liar, I think my mom would still be married to him. But, the lying was so ingrained in his personality, it took over every aspect of his and our lives. The only times you could believe him was when he was talking about something you physically witnessed yourself. I think in the end, his brain was so messed up from his altered reality, it just went ahead permanently altered itself.
For all four of his kids, two biological and two step, he was our only real option for a dad. We really let us down.
I am sorry that you and your siblings had to grow up with someone like that as a father figure. It must have been hard not to be able to trust a lot of what he said.
I am dealing with a friend much like this at the moment and it has gotten to the point where the rest of our group just can't stand to be around him while he spins (and gets caught up in) this constant web of lies. I can't imagine what that must have been like coming from a father.
I hope you guys are all doing well.
leiawars ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:34:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know he was lying as a kid. So that helped considerably. I didn't know he was a pathological liar until my mom kicked him out when I was 11 or 12. I think she had suspicions, but didn't truly know what he was until an IRS man walked onto our porch, and told her her husband hadn't paid the IRS since long before they were married. I clearly remember piling into our car and waiting in a huge line of cars, at the main city post office, to mail off our taxes on tax day.
What if brain damage from the aneurysms was the cause of the behavior? It seems plausible that if he's survived several, he may have had them before. It reminds me somewhat of Phineas Gage.
leiawars ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:22:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly couldn't tell you what kind of brain damage he has. I don't ask a lot of questions about it and I haven't seen him in 10+ years. That, and my mom is the only one Thad hasn't 100% cut him off, and she hasn't attempted to see him in a few years. His lying likely started in childhood, and may have ramped up during his first marriage, over 40 years ago. He was extremely charismatic, intelligent and VERY creative. Never aggressive not impulsive outside of his lying. I don't think I would compare him to someone who had a rod shot through his head though, at least not when I knew him. But, from what I garner, now he is more child like and unable to live on his own.
Yeah, definitely, repeated trauma to the brain is never a good thing, and I can't even begin to imagine the effect that would have on your personality/mental wellbeing.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:52:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is chaotic... there are a large number of ppl in it.... hence this happens.
I may be wrong but I took the definition of Dharma to mean adhering to a set of behaviours to find inner peace, and I understand Karma to be a form of spiritual cause and effect, where you may be rewarded or punished by the cosmos for your deeds/misdeeds.
Also, from what I understand practicing Dharma could 'earn' (for lack of a better word) good Karma.
That sucks. I don't always take the birthday money... if I see that my kids have some cash already I will tell them I'm putting it in their accounts and I actually do it.
I just put and extra $20 into each kids account because my dad gave me $100 to get the kids something... (I have 5 kids).
I told them about it first and let them know why I wasn't giving them the money directly.
I can understand if parents are going through a rough time financially... that "birthday money" could be food for the family, or enough to keep the electricity on...
Yeah... There's definitely good reason not to just hand it over, especially when it's something mismatched like $200 for a ten year old.
We weren't broke, but I would (like to think I'd) have understood if it went to a family trip or something shared like that. I didn't need the money at that age, and there were totally reasonable ways to spend it for the family's benefit.
Nothing wrong with helping kids manage their money. I was mostly horrified that I hadn't know, and so hadn't ever been able to say thank you.
To help kids manage their money, though, you have to help kids manage their money. As someone who wasn't allowed access to their bank account until I was 18, all I learned was to cash checks and spend them immediately before my parents got their hands on them to deposit them into the untouchable void, and either lie about or cover up any money that came into or left my hands, even my own paychecks. Then, after those bad habits were formed, I suddenly had access at 18 to more money than I'd ever seen at once in my life, and you know I did stupid shit with it.
Regulating kids' experience with money is like regulating kids' experience with alcohol or sex. Any kind of black and white thinking is going to get your kids in trouble when they have a lick of freedom.
My parents had a black and white parenting style. Now, I'm 18 and while I still don't have my freedom (I have no job currently and can't obtain one for a little while) I'm very scared of what will happen when I do. I'm already bad at managing money, so I'm wondering what's going to happen when I'm living on my own. Hopefully I'm smart enough to not make idiotic choices, but the thought is still scary to me.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:42:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I suppose that's a good idea. Although my first priority right now is getting a job
MyPacman ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:41:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Our family had a rule. You got your first job, and your first paycheck was yours to waste on absolutely anything you wanted, but after that, the money was budgeted to 'expenses' (token rent), 'savings' (long term), and 'spending' (weekly activities/food).
My first job was $80 per week... My sisters? $450. Jokes on her, she really regretted the junk she brought (the real reason we were allowed to blow it - educating us on that unsatisfied feeling afterward)
I would think a better way to do it would be to do something like that, but then allow that same sort of splurge every 4 paychecks or so. Show that splurging doesn't feel good when you don't have a foundation/safety net, but when you do have that foundation, it's a great treat and something to work towards when you can afford it.
This is a really good point. I definitely came away with useless or even counterproductive habits from my experience.
Some were easy to break when I grew up, like my tendency to keep my money in cash. That went away as soon as I thought "wow, no one else can drain this bank account". Some have been way harder, like deciding how much money to save with the understanding that I'm planning decades in the future.
It's a tricky balance, but offering useful experience is way more valuable than substituting your judgement for your kid's.
I totally understand that you felt a little betrayed... it sucks that people you trust blindly (parents) would do something to betray that trust...
To find out as a kid that your own parents can do something like that is devastating... kind of a loss of innocence...
And most importantly you wanted to thank the person who gave it to you but you didn't even know about the money... it made you look like a brat with no manners even though that clearly wasn't the case...
And they always justify it to themselves by claiming that they 'pay for everything and are entitled to it.'
I still haven't forgiven my dad for draining my accounts due to "an emergency." Then he waited for me to get in trouble for something and suddenly claimed that would be the punishment...to not have my bank account. Slow clap, dad, you fucking prick. See you at your funeral, asshole.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:21:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My ex-boyfriend's father did something similarly slimy to all seven of his kids. This was a Mormon family that lived in abject poverty because they tithed before taking care of their family and because they just kept having kids (four miscarriages happened before his mom needed a hysterectomy, so it easily could've been eleven or more kids instead of seven) even though the church even told them they should stop.
The first four kids, including my ex, were pretty healthy, but the last three (one girl, two boys) were pretty sickly. The woman seriously had health issues after so many pregnancies so close together. She would be on bed rest for most of the pregnancy. One of the youngest boys ended up on disability for a year due to physical problems. At the time he was around nineteen or twenty. His parents took every single disability check from him as "rent" even though they, IIRC, were about a grand every two weeks. They wouldn't give him any of the money and wouldn't let him live with his older siblings because then they couldn't manage his money steal from him.
My ex was the middle child. Like every one of his brothers and sisters he had no belief in Mormonism, which of course enraged his parents. My ex was planning to move out the moment he turned 18. He'd started working at fifteen to save up money and because his parents made each kid work and pay $300 a month in rent if they were sixteen or older (yep, huge assholes). They wouldn't let them leave until they were 18.
My ex had one of those ten gallon water jugs that he used to collect change. The first time he cashed the change in there was almost a grand in it, which he used to take himself and his girlfriend to Disneyland for a few days. Well when his parents found out they were livid, but he went ahead and hid the jug and started saving change again to use to move out. One day as it was getting close to his 18th birthday his dad started a fight with the younger son (the one that ended up on disability later). My ex defended his brother, blocked a punch his dad threw at him, and left the house. Apparently it was a tactic to get my ex to leave. While he was gone his dad went through his room and found his change and stole it all. When my ex came back home and discovered it was gone, his dad claimed ignorance. His younger brother told him that he'd seen his dad steal it. My ex walked out that day and never went back.
There were many instances of them borrowing from their kids, stealing from their kids, and conning others. These people buddied up to a Mormon Mercedes dealer to get nice cars for themselves (that they couldn't afford to maintain or repair), ran up credit under their kids names, bought endless amounts of nice things for themselves (even though their house was a broken down, illegally expanded piece of shit), and cheated family for every penny they could. And through all of it they continued to tithe and try to have more kids.
I absolutely did. The last straw was just a few years ago, he is now 74 and I figured the assholeness of him was gone. He tried to scam me out of a business that I was starting with his usual bullshit and years prior to that, he called me with some big lie/whopper story about how he wanted to buy a new car and needed a $14000 loan...turns out he got his car reposessed and, as usual, likes to lie and use his kids for financial gain. When I caught him in the last bullshit scenario, over the phone, I said "That was the last straw. I'll see you at your funeral, asshole." He replied, rather shocked, "What?" I said "You heard me. I'm going to hang up now."
I hung up the phone. It was the last thing I said to him. Fuck that guy.
He also forged my brother's signature on his paychecks and cashed them when he returned from Alaska working all summer in the cannery, 16 hours a day, 7 days per week, all summer. When my brother caught him, my dad kicked him out of the house...my brother had a broken leg and was bed ridden at the time. Yeah, he's a real fucking gem.
Fuck for real? So your brother worked his fucking ass off and had fuck all to show for it? That's harsh. I've worked a couple days and had my money taken from me but a whole fucking summer? Fuck your father for what he did to you and your brother. Sorry but I feel I had to say it.
lajih ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:39:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
fool me once, shame on you. Fool the entire family multiple times and I feel like this prick should have been cut off a long time ago.
Fortunately(?), I found out too old to be really devastated, I just realized that sometimes people are shitty and dishonest even if they're your parents. This wasn't the kind of villainy and grand selfishness a lot of the other people in this thread went through, I doubt my parents ever even considered it important. It was just an ugly moment from someone who wasn't great at considering others.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:41:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents had some savings going for me, then they had some financial difficulty and they asked me to come to the bank with them and sign it over to them...
My mother found a happy medium, any money I received as a gift (which was rare because we don't do any holidays in our house, not even birthdays) she would give me half. So if i received 100 as a gift, i would get 50 to take care of myself, and the other half would go into my "college fund." I don't know if it necessarily worked out to be helpful but i turned out to be really good with saving money and managing it. I still haven't used my 10,000 dollar college fund (Canadian, so 10 goes a long way) because i dropped out of high school due to mental health reasons, but i plan on finishing high school and maybe going off to college if it's what works out but if not, that money will be going towards starting a life after i finish some sort of education. Whether that means rent or even just food, it's still 10 grand that i get to use towards more then just toys and clothing, which is what i would've used the money for if i was given such a large sum young.
Actually now that i think about it, a lot of the time my mother would ask if i wanted half. Most of the time i said no, or the more common one was all i wanted to buy was a slushie and the rest goes into my savings. She usually just ended up giving me the $2 as a gift and putting the full gift into savings. I was lucky enough to not want for much as a child though, in no way were we rich, but if i was out with my mom and i saw a cute top, we could easily buy it without thinking about the price tag too much, but of course we still looked at the price, we just didn't have to sweat buying things that were wants instead of needs. If it was my mother as a child though, she didn't have much money and she could actually use that money to buy clothes she needed, if the money was offered to her that is.
I recently confronted my mom about this. I figured how much money I should have collected from birthday checks from Grandparents/Uncles/Aunts since I was ~5-7yo or so and made my parents pay up ($2300). I'm a 26yo med student. I'll take anything I can get.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:55:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My parents, particularly my mom, have always taught me to value money and fight back for it when it's rightfully mine/earned. I just told them I was using their own advice.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:05:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:39:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some parents can become amazingly compliant when their children follow through on a threat, for instance, "if you don't do x then you will no longer hear from me." When they don't do "x" you break off communication and refuse to speak with them until they do. A fair number of parents will respond to this. I don't know if OP did that but I've advised patients to do this in the past and it tends to work.
I come from a super close family with pretty awesome values. Chances are once I make a living and once my parents retire, I'll probably be taking care of them under my household. We help each other out...a lot. Everything they earn is mine. Everything I earn is theirs. So handing over $2300 in birthday money was really more symbolic than anything else. I wasn't really begging for it, and they weren't throwing it away.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, how do you make your parents "pay up"? Sounds difficult.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:52:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why did you look like a shot you didn't know about the checks ?
Exactly, thanks. My grandpa's a great guy, and didn't seem to hold it against me even before he knew, but I felt damned bad knowing that he kept sending them without ever being acknowledged.
It started with a bunch of confusion as we talked at cross purposes, and then I apologized and thanked him. He was never mad, but I was glad I got to tell him.
Later, I think my parents explained to him that it was being saved for college, or for a bigger purchase when I was old enough to appreciate it. It wasn't, it disappeared, but I don't know exactly what they told him and I kind of hope he was comforted. He had some tension with his kids, and things like this made it fairly clear why.
I know your feelings on this so well, as a kid my mother helped me set up a savings account, she ended up taking nearly $3000 out of it without so much as informing me, she hid all my statements when they arrived in the mail, turns out she had a serious drug problem, she is clean now but it still bothers me that she never admitted what she did or apologized, and even went so far as to try to convince my family that I spent it all and was just trying to get "sympathy money" I WAS 8 wth would I have spent that much money on?
My parents regularly stole my gift money (at one point a $2000 check from my grandmother to buy a computer for college - I ended up buying my own after saving up for three years). But I have one (sort of) good story that I hold on to when I want to remember that the whole world isn't shit...
When I was 5 or 6, I got several gifts of cash from relatives for Christmas. My grandfather, who was visiting us at the time, suggested I open a savings account. So we went to the bank, and my dad cosigned. I deposited $90.
When I was 12, I decided to buy myself a bike. I remembered that I had a savings account, and I thought "oh yay! I bet there's tons of interest accumulated in that account because I never withdrew any of it!". So my mom took me to the bank, and I read my account number to the teller. She said the account had been closed due to insufficient funds. I stared in disbelief. "But how? I never took any money out?!"
She looked at the computer and said it was a maintenance fee that ate away at the balance every year. She glanced back up to see my eyes filling with tears. I had no money, I had lost my home to a fire a few years before, and we were living in poverty. And now I couldn't even buy myself a bike.
She suddenly stood up and reached over the counter, grabbing my hands. "Oh no no no, honey, hold on right there, I'll be right back!". And she ran out of the room and into the bank manager's office. A moment later they both come out and stand behind the counter. The teller says "how much money did you deposit?" and I mumble "Ninety dollars, ma'am."
The manager types something on the computer, and the drawer pops open. She hands me a crisp $100 bill. "Now that ought to cover you with a little interest."
Tears started running down my face and I started to ask why - the manager just held up his hand and said "now how am I supposed to get new customers when little girls can't trust me to keep their savings safe? You look very honest and smart, and I know you're going to spend that money wisely. And we're going to keep your account open so you can do business with us whenever you like."
I kept that account, and made new ones when I turned 18. I paid my way through college and all of life's expenses with often less than $20 to my name at any given time. I'm in a much better place now, but that little act of kindness meant, and still means, the world to me.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:26:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
dramboxf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:33:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife's stepfather was intercepting all the Social Security checks my wife was due because her father died when she was 11. She found out two months before she aged out of the program. That was almost 40 years ago and she's still pissed.
Sounds like my family. Everything went 'into savings or college fund' that my mom or her family gave to me. My dad was the only one who actually put money away for me for college.
Growing up, my brother and I had saving accounts. But then my parents got divorced and suddenly we didn't have any money in them anymore. They both still blame each other.
Same here, minus the divorce part. When I confronted my mother about it she said "Would you rather we lost the house?" No, mom. I would've preferred if we didn't have cable or new clothes or you took my sisters out of fucking gymnastics classes.
This made me blow a gasket when I went through it. Dad: "would you rather us not have a car?" No, but I'd rather have a fucking used Camry than your brand new Audi a4
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:05:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:57:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SUE
SUE
YEAH YOU'RE GONNA SUE
SUE
SUE
YEAH THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO
Quw10 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 19:43:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Both my parents had seperate savings accounts for me. My dad didn't give me access to mine after graduation and only had $50 in it, the one my mom had for me literally disappeared and was never spoken of and she dodges the question every time I ask what happens to it. At least my dad was up front and told me he had to use it in some of our family's rough spots while he was single but still disappointing considering there was at least $3-4k between the 2 accounts since my grandparents regularly put money into them for savings and all that was left was $50.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:06:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Quw10 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:16:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I believe my dad, but not my mom. Every paycheck she gets is already spent before it's even cashed, and its really upsetting because she has to ask me her 23 year old son for money when she's working as many as 3 jobs with 1 being a nurse and I'm probably bringing maybe half of what she makes a year with no explanation of where it all goes.
Not entirely sure, it was when I was real young. But the way they talk about it when its brought up sounds like it was emptied before something like that.
Nah I'm pretty sure you can have one in the US as well, but unless your parents told you, most minors wouldn't even know it's an option since most things can't be in your name at that time. And if the parents were the type to want access to the money they probably wouldn't tell you.
I don't think it was actual bank account. It might have been, it was when we were like 4-5. But they were the ones who set it up for us for in the future. Still bullshit
This happened to me when I saved up for an Xbox. "You got that doing all of your brothers chores so it's his too." I was super pissed when I had to pull my controller out of the door.
Yeah my mom was a little different. She'd rather reward the good child with such an accessory and tell the bad kids they can be rewarded similarly if they behave similarly.
See she probably meant it as "let your brother play your Xbox" but it also meant he didn't have to pay for the shit he broke and I couldn't keep it in my room where it was safe.
Her logic was that one child is meh and has to put up with whatever she says, and the younger brother is her favourite. It's called being a narcissistic cow.
Did you kill him? I would have. As a gamer, you're free to treat your own shit however you want but if it's someone else's you care for it like a child.
Same thing with my family, but I didn't know that my parents were in a really tough economic spot; once they got back in their feet they made sure to make it up to my then-teenaged self. Buying me a car etc. I love my folks and don't blame them now that I know what was going on :)
lMYMl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:16:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a similar boat. They took it to buy groceries and pay bills though, so I dont blame them. It could have been worse, a lot of people i grew up with had to work through high school to help pay the mortgage. At least I got to keep what I earned at work.
Yeah,been there, except it was my paychecks. I worked at the same school as my mother when i was a teenager (helping at the after school day care)and she would collect my paychecks before i ever saw them. Claimed to put them aside for.......? I never saw a dime of it, and the student loans I'm paying off tell me they sure as hell didn't go to my college. So fuck me, i guess.
izModar ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 19:32:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that illegal?
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 19:44:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you are a minor in the united States it is legal for your parents to take any pay or money you receive, so long as you are in their care.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 19:51:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In many aspects of the law, until you're 18 you're not all that different from property owned by your parents. They can't sell you and they have to take care of you to a certain standard that varies by jurisdiction. But other than that they can say what you can and can't do, how you're cared for, they technically own your possessions, can sign contracts for you (which you can't sign in the first place)...
DasHuhn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:02:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, they don't own you, they don't own your possessions, they can sign contracts for you (Which you can break at the age of 18). If OP had taken the checks and put them into a bank account that M&D weren't on, M&D would have no recourse here.
It's assumed that M&D have your best interests in mind, even when you disagree and that's OK; and they're allowed to act in your best interests to spend your money, even if you disagree; but it's still your money and it's your things. Gifts to a child are that - gifts to the child, and are the childs things and not the adults. However, it is rarely worth the court case to go out to fight for this.
If OP had taken the checks and put them into a bank account that M&D weren't on, M&D would have no recourse here.
Even that's not true assuming that the child has access to the account. Because if the child has access, so does a legal guardian up until the age of majority.
DasHuhn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:29:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because if the child has access, so does a legal guardian up until the age of majority.
Assuming that the legal guardian knows about the accounts, or that bank accepts the proof from the LG - now-a-days its incredibly easy to set up banking that M&D won't find out, because there is nothing to find out.... same thing then too, just a little more work involved for the kid.
This sounds like my mom. She would take any money given for birthdays and holidays. She would always say that she was spending it on me for me, but my great grandma paid for my clothes, shoes, food, etc and I couldn't figure out what it was that my mom was buying with the money because everything came from my grandma. My mom even cashed out saving's bonds that my dad had gotten for me and I don't know what happened to the money. The worst part is that when I would ask for money for things like school field trips she would raise holy hell, completely offended by the idea that I asked for money.
amero421 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my fuck, the school trips! I missed out on so much because "we didn't have the money". But yeah, birthday money was always taken for, I don't know, bills? We had new furniture every year, it seemed.
I do. Mum and dad used it to try and play stocks. I don't blame them for getting conned, they had a lot of other investments that panned out well.
But they lost my fund, and of course after uni I was expected to "pay it all back to them".
Yeah, that conversation went well. You better believe I remembered that shit. For some reason, they've stopped asking after I remembered to ask them where all that birthday money from Nanna went.
quirx90 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:38:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents did actually save that money for me; eighteen years of birthday and holiday money added up to about $4,000. I used it to buy a car during college.
We had a small family that was fairly disconnected from relatives, and we had very few wealthy friends/relatives. I'd imagine that you could end up with at least double what I got if your parents knew more people.
My family set one of those aside for me that supposedly held thousands of dollars. My aunt managed it. When my father and step-mother divorced they threw me out on the streets(I was 17 at the time). After they divorced my aunt emptied out the contents of the fund and gave it to my father, who proceeded to blow it all on meth.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:08:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Drugs
DonRobo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:30:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All the comments to this post made me realize just how grateful I should really be for my parents.
I should give them a call.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine actually did. I thought for years that my mom just used my money for stuff but I went to get a new car and my parents said that you have 8 grand in a savings so we can get you that nice car. I went... Um what... I have had 8 grand this whole timeโฆ and they said told you I didn't steal it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That sucks. I actually had a savings account and ended yup with like, 5 grand when I was 17. Bought my first car with some of it.
Sounds like my parents, "hey get your college degree and we will pay off your loans." Graduated, they said, "get a job."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine bought me an $800 DSLR in 11th grade. I still have it. It still works great. My fund actually existed... or my parents just told me that when I asked to use my accumulated birthday money to buy a camera and sucked it up and paid for it themselves, I will never know.
This happened to me too, in particular with savings bonds that I got as a gift from my uncle
jmwpc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhh yes. The mutual funds my grandmother seeded for my brother and I (to be used towards the purchase of our first home) some 25 years ago mysteriously disappeared around the same time my father was going through a particularly nasty second divorce.
It's okay though. He disowned us over some other bullshit about money that, as far as I can tell, also evaporated, but in this case it was likely from a series of bad investments made by a third party.
Ain't family great?
petgreg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I went through the same thing. I think I HAD an account, but as I later found out, my dad was constantly getting himself fired and they spent it.
In one instance my grandmother had given my mom money, and I had to hound her like crazy to even get it. She was going to keep it and hope I forgot about it.
My grandma had to start giving us birthday money in person. So we would get a few years at a time, never around our actual birthday. All my cousins said "yeah it's great that grandma always gives us $10 plus your age!" (Till you're 20, gma ain't made of money). Mum always had $20 for bingo and I got the last number of my age (13 i got $3) or nothing. Always thought she loved the other grandkids more than my and my brother until she said "wow 20 is a big year, $30 buys a lot, what did you get yourself?" To my brother and he was like "uhh what?" And my mum had a whole lot of nothing to say.
Aw. That sucks. I have a savings account for each of my sons that I add to every year on their birthday. When they start getting money from family, I will ask them if they want to save or spend. If they want to spend, they have to keep a register and still put around 10% in the savings. My parents used to take my more expensive Christmas toys from relatives back to the store so they could buy groceries that month. It made me so sad, but as an adult, I feel a little better about it.
same here. I knew that I should have had ~$200 from various birthday/christmas gifts yet I didn't ever get the chance to spend it and somehow ended up with $0. I also should have had a couple hundred in savings bonds from my grandparents but I did not. My older sister did, my younger sister did, my younger brother did, and so did all my cousins yet I did not. So I guess my grandparents must have forgotten about me.
Fray38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad used to take the money my grandparents sent for holidays. He didn't bother lying, though. He made sure we knew he was spending it on weed and we'd never see it again.
My daughter's other grandfather started some sort of fund to put toward her college. The first time he put money in it, it was $2,500, and she was just a few years old.
A bit over 2 years ago her stepmother and father withdrew all that money to pay their bills. They've been living way beyond their means for years. But fuck her, we're stealing her money!
So no college fund. Just writing this out has made me furious. I absolutely hate that woman with a passion. I have come to hate her father because he's such a fuck-up. He stiffed her in child support from her age 15 to 17, and didn't even bother to pay the last two months. He'd been punctual for all those years and just left her hanging. God I'm furious over that, and it was almost 3 years ago.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was a smoker and an alcoholic, and she used to take money from our older siblings college funds to spend on alcohol.
nopooq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For over a year I helped my grandma take my great grandma shopping and would get a few dollars. My mom always took it, insisting that she was saving it. When I finally realized that I had enough to buy Ocarina of Time, I asked for the money.
For me it was my dad who was the asshole. When we were kids my dad make us put entire checks from relatives into a savings account under his control. The terms of spending the money were "for something necessary in the future" so pretty vague.
Then there was a falling out when I was a teenager. Long story short, he put me in a chokehold, sold the car he bought for me that I helped prep for pain right out from under me, and pretty much ruined my relationship with him for a long time.
When I was 18 and in college my laptop died between semesters. I needed a new laptop. Repairing the one I had would have been a couple grand. Knowing that my dad was likely to say no to using the funds for the laptop, and then probably pull the funds into his personal account, it was decided between my mom and I that I wouldn't ask him and just pull the funds and deal with it later when he found out.
So that's what we did and I had a computer for school. He called a couple weeks later wanting to know why I took all the funds out. I told him why hoping he'd understand. After all, it was my money to begin with and I used it "for something necessary in the future" like he wanted. I had no way of getting a computer for school otherwise. He told me that I was manipulative and it was OUR money (never mind that it was my money) and that I needed to ask him. I asked him if he would have said yes. He said no he'd have said no because I didn't need a computer for school and probably just wanted one to play games. Yeah we didn't speak for awhile after that.
That's super shitty. I had savings bonds left to me by my grandmother that my mom cashed in herself. She gave me 2 of them...I had 10.
bythog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've told this story before on reddit, but it sounds relevant now:
In 9th grade I was in marching band. Our school was invited to Disney to march in one of the parades, and the plan was for everyone to also stay for a few extra days to have fun in the parks.
I grew up poor. We couldn't afford to send me to Disney. I sold as much candy as I could to help (World's Finest Chocolate sales) but only came up with like $150 towards it. My aunt--who is well off--heard about the trip and hardship so sent me a check to pay for the entire trip, a bit of spending money, and the $150 I already made would be bonus for me.
Well, I actually didn't even find out about the check she sent until after the trip that I never got to go on. She called to ask me how it was and why I never thanked her. It turns out that my mom checked the mail and saw the surprise check that was sent. She cashed the check and used the money (admittedly mostly for groceries and utilities, but also a lot of cigarettes) and never told me about it.
Unsurprisingly my aunt was pissed. She ended up calling my mom at work, which in turn got me in trouble at home. Apparently I shouldn't have told my aunt that I never went to Disney with the money that she sent specifically for that purpose.
Bad parents suck, man.
rdewalt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a notebook of shame in my dresser drawer, detailing out how much needs to go into which kids' bank, when they're old enough. I don't feel /TOO/ bad. But seeing you owe your kid $20 does make you more mindful of budgeting.
This is one thing I really appreciate my parents for. My mum still had some money lying around that her late grandfather had given her for university, and she paid for mine with it. Also, all the times the answer was "no because we can't afford it" mean that I am now debt-free as an adult.
PMach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like the only kid in this thread who had a savings account and used years of birthday money to buy a PS2 and small TV in high school.
On a similar note, my step dad was always hurting for money around the holidays after we got a little older. So many times I heard that we'll have one maybe two small presents to open for Christmas day and the rest of the gifts will come the next paycheck. I honestly think he and my mom believed that lie every year. I did get whatever Christmas money back that they had to borrow, though.
All of my savings account money went towards my mom's trips to France, Israel, Egypt, Italy, Alaska, New Zealand, and her yearly trips to New York to see her boyfriend.
Had 70 bucks when I was five given to me for my birthday. Found out years later(and she was ashamed) it went to the electric bill. Poverty sucked. But I couldn't be mad after that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents did put those checks in the college savings fund, but I only got like ~2200 in that fund before college happened, which barely scratched the surface
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe your grandma wasn't actually sending anything, and your mom was protecting you from the truth?
j0m1n1n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, my mother made me endorse the checks so she could deposit them.
G8kpr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend got $5,000 (I believe) when his grandfather died to help him go to college. His mother guilted him into giving it to her to "help the family"
They drew up a contract where it was a loan and she would pay him back monthly... She paid one installment. He never saw the rest.
You know what happened to those checks. Don't kid yourself.
Growing up, I thought I was the only one with thieving relatives, but it seems to be fairly common.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Man. I remember when I wanted to buy a Super Nintendo with all my previous birthday funds. My mom kept a bank ledger and everything. I said "mom, can I cash out a few hundred from my account and get a Super Nintendo?". She told me there was no account, that she had used it on bills during tough times. I later found out that bills meant meth and tough times meant the second the check cleared. *a word
CJ_MR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma realized this early on and decided to give me savings bonds instead. She told me to hide them, "because you don't want someone else to accidentally lose them for you." Two savings bonds per year (birthday and Christmas) for my entire childhood. She died right before I started university but every penny she gave me went towards school. Any other money relatives gave me my mom took from me and lied that she was saving it. She has a well paying job but she's horribly irresponsible with money. She'll blow her whole paycheck on shoes then realize she forgot to pay the mortgage. And I'm expected to help her financially because she told the whole family she paid for my university. In reality I used the bonds my grandma gave me and worked full-time while I went to school full-time. My mom refused to give me her tax information so that I could apply for loans (required in the USA until you are in your mid twenties). Moving far away was one of the best decisions I've made.
akiva23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happened with the money everyone gave me for my barmitzvah i was pretty salty
Yup. Grandmother won 10,000 playing slots, opened an MMA for me and my sister for 5,000 a piece. Got the bank statements for years showing steady growth, then one day it only has 1500 in it with a withdrawal slip with my moms signature on it. 16 year old me got pissed, withdrew the rest and blew it all. Turns out it was withdrawn to pay the mortgage. If I was just told I would've understood, but it was done behind my back with no explanation. If only they had explained when they took it out I wouldn't have been a rebellious little shit and would have been able to buy a decent car at 18. Nope, booze, weed, and cigs. Talk to your kids like they are adults.
I understand that feeling, when I got my first job at 16 my mom had me set up her savings account for my dd. Never did see all that wendy's money. Smh.
She did have my college fund then spent it without telling me. That was a surprise, when I asked her for it she laughed and told me I was grown up to pay my way around the world now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always told me she was taking mine to help pay the bills, I really believed her because we were dirt poor, like can't afford hot water in the summer poor. Turns out she was just spending it on crack. Not even joking, my mom is 300lbs and I honestly believed you couldn't be fat and a crack head at the same time, people told me my mom smoked crack (angry boyfriends of hers, or family members) and it was impossible to me because in my child/preteen head, crack heads had to be skinny.
I feel your pain but I know what happened to mine, they where put in an account that was later drained by my mother because she had put herself in debt and blown all her inheritance on a new bedroom set. Her reasoning for not replacing it? "Well I kept you and raised you, be grateful!" Obviously I'm still kinda butt hurt.
scw55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tangent.
My aunt gave me a bag of sherbert lemons to me (to my mum). My mum hid them. At Halloween, she gave them away to trick or treaters.
Mum said it was because they were bad for me.
Clearly not bad for other people's children.
Also, they were given to me.
When parents intercept money given to you and they buy something on your behalf which you didn't want. I was given money, and my hear sank when mum bought a kite with it.
Mum knows best, for herself.
foira ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
damn i would cut my parents off, i assume you have
dramboxf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, my "in trust" savings account they opened for me when I was born. Had about $10g in it when I graduated HS. Did I ever see a dime of it? HELL NO. When my mother died in 2009, she insisted that I STILL owed her $900 from a phone bill (LDR) from like 15 years before that.
Yeah my parents promised they would pay for my college. Even months after they took out student loans in my name. They never even helped. I had to work full time making $6.50 an hour to afford books, food, and gas.
When I dropped out due to stress of being 18 in my second year of college and working full time. They said they only promised to pay if I finished.
They are now trying to get my brother to take out a loan and buy part of their property with the promise to pay him back.
That's absolutely horrible. Our son has had his own account since birth and when he's given ANY amount of money, whether it's a 25ยข reward for loading the dishwasher or a $150 cheque at Christmas, it goes into that account. He can see his bank book any time he wants, and he's allowed to spend a percentage of the money as long as he meets certain goals with behaviour and schoolwork.
A child's money isn't his or her parent's to take or even borrow, unless there's a life or death issue in the family and that money can save someone. I'm so sorry that happened to you.
My parents were very poor but they were also very good at saving every cent of surplus money they came across. When I was 8 they opened up a joint savings acct. with me. Every time I got a gift from relatives they would drive me down to the bank and show me how to deposit it. I would sometimes ask them to just do it for me but they refused, telling me that I should never trust someone to walk off with my money. Good life lessons.
j0m1n1n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is definitely not what she spent the money on. I can tell you that for sure because I starved while she liquidated all my stepfather's savings and assets and she drove a new car.
Sawses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All 3 of my kids have accounts and every penny they've ever been given is there. However, MT husband and I have the means to provide everything my kids need. I know of some families who use the money to buy the kids new clothes and things they can't afford. If that's what happens to the $ I'm fine with that as long as the parents don't lie to the kids about it
Happy to read that. Unfortunately, the effects of abuse last long after the abuse stops; if you would like to vent with others who've experienced similar stuff, you might find /r/raisedbynarcissists helpful. It's a great community!
Yeah, the old "Look! Grandma gave you money, I'll just hold this for you." I've never seen any of that money. Or, "I just need $20 in cash. I'll pay you back tomorrow, promise." that they covinently forget about the next day.
Yup, my savings bonds that were gifted to me 'magically' disappeared. Also, while working my ass off at age 15 in a warehouse, I noticed that my bank account never seemed to add up correctly. When I went to college I was short a few thousand dollars...
I once lost (read: a friend STOLE) $50 dollars of my birthday money after my party one year, and my mom still told me to look for it FOUR FUCKING YEARS LATER.
And she wonders why I used to never ask for anything. :|
My father insisted he worked so hard to put me through college. Currently working 35 hours a week while going to college full time. Nice one, dad. Real effort, there.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:17:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn dude. I'm so sorry. You seem to have your shit together tho. Respect.
Well, damn, that edit got dark. Hope you're doing well now.
j0m1n1n ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:40:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So much better now. I've put myself through college, I have been married for five years, I have been working as a bartender for three, and I'm preparing to go back to school for another degree.
I got several thousand dollars from my grandfather when I was in middle school for college when a relative of his died. My parents never told me. They cashed the check themselves (which wasn't weird because I was 12 so of course I didn't have a bank account of my own) and used the money as their down payment for a car, and never told me.
We needed the car. Parents had to get to work for us to do things like, oh, eat, and live in a house. I don't think I would have understood at the time. But I'm still kind of upset that I found out from my grandfather years and years later and not my parents.
my parents told me i was allergic to sugar and would die if i ate it. they even went and brought "alternative snacks" to my school teachers like carrot sticks and peanuts for them to stock up for me and hand out when the other kids got birthday cupcakes. not the worst thing they could have done to me, but it sucked. i totally believed them until i went to visit my aunt and realized that ice cream and m&m's were FUCKING AMAZING.
but the weirdest thing was that until the 5th grade i believed in the halloween fairy. i still got to dress up in a costume and go trick or treating for hours, but at the end of the night i would leave my bag of candy outside my bedroom door, and overnight the fairy would take it and leave me a new bag full of crackers and fruit snacks and other "treats" while in reality my parents just ate all my candy.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:55:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Princess Leah slave cosplay suitable?
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 20:17:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents had a parent tax for the halloween candy. Parents would get 20-30% of the haul from each kid.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:24:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eat the good stuff as you get it.
kione83 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:07:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have two young boys that love Halloween. The only candy that I "tax" is the peanut butter taffy because they won't touch it. Damn that stuff is awesome. I suppose the tax could fluctuate from year to year but I usually only end up with 6-8 pieces
My aunt and uncle had a good method with my cousins, they put the chocolate and stuff in a draw that in reach of the children and they could have stuff from it whenever they wanted (provided they weren't in trouble). It meant that they hardly ever actually are chocolate and sweets because they weren't seen as this secret magic
Yeah...my very skinny cousin in law has the same theory about candy so she (and her kids) have access to it all the time . Her last baby was 10 lbs and they had to induce him early or else he would have been even bigger. I on the other hand have always been overweight (I was a 9lb plus baby and I used to weigh 500 lbs but lost 300+ tho I doubt I will ever be skinny). I eat low carb which means I didn't eat much sugar while pregnant and my baby was a little over 7lbs and that was even though I was a week overdue.
Easy access to candy is NOT a good thing for anyone, but especially children.
bubby963 ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 18:17:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Depriving someone of all kinds of chocolate and other sweets is far past "general health and well-being". If you don't let yourself have nice things ever then your life must suck.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:04:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
you don't need any specific set of things to be happy
That's my point. It's a reductio ad absurdum. There's no reason to do much of anything at all, since not doing those things doesn't degrade the quality of your life. You enjoy writing music? Unnecessary. You enjoy carpentry? Just skip it. Don't need it.
Also, sugar is innately a problem:
Looks like you need to go back to grade school if your take on the negative qualities of overconsumption means it's an innate issue of mere consumption. Water is innately a problem.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think the point was that there's no amount of candy that isn't over consumption relative to how much you should have, so there isn't anything evil about shutting down the candy in your child's life. Something like carpentry is probably going to be at worst a neutral, unless the kid does it instead of school.
Also, it might be easier to get a dialogue going if you speak a little bit more respectfully. This is the internet, but just because you're hiding behind a screen doesn't mean you should present arguments sarcastically and reference logical fallacies.
That is objectively false. Pretty much anything that triggers a dopamine release can absolutely affect your quality of life for the better if you use it in moderation.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:50:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
You may be right, but having a damn snickers every once and a while never really hurt anyone who follows most of those guidelines anyways. He's not advocating a bottle of coke every day, he's advocating don't drink a bottle of coke every day, just maybe on a hot sunday.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:25:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[Deleted]
Zywakem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, I absolutely hate sweets, and sweet drinks, and I'm perfectly healthy. It does have the side effect of me not liking fruits though, too sweet for me. You're doing your teeth a huge favour though.
[deleted] ยท 1245 points ยท Posted at 16:59:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's like the way we treat alcohol in America. Yeah, of course college kids are getting drunk - they have never been taught to have a healthy responsible relationship with the stuff.
I was that way with having free time. I failed all of my classes the first semester of freshman year because I was busy riding the high of being able to go do things with friends, stay up late, and go places when I felt like it without asking permission. If I hadn't lost my scholarship because of it that would probably be the most fondly-remembered few months of my life.
Yesss. My parents don't let me go anywhere with anyone without knowing all of the details and it makes it not even worth it. I will try to not do what you did my first semester at college but I am so excited to have that kind of freedom.
When I was in high school my parents used to make me write down the names and cell phone numbers of who I was leaving with if they weren't one of my main friends. At first I thought it was so embarrassing and stupid, but after I realized they had no intentions of using it unless something went way wrong and I never showed home then it didn't really bug me anymore. Your parents just care about you. They watched you from your smallest possible self up until now. It has to be terrifying to let you leave the house without knowing what you're doing. Shit, it's probably still scary when they do know what you're doing. But they must care about you a lot to have some sort of worry and if they still let you go then they must trust you. Imagine how they would feel if something happened to you and they didn't ask where you were going? Enjoy being home while you're still there and don't let your parents asking all the details stop you from going out and having fun.
And have fun in college. It really is a great time. This is my last semester and i'm sure gonna miss it. Make the best of it while you're there and don't be afraid to break out of the mold you may have created for yourself while you were in high school. This is your chance to work towards being whoever you feel like you really are :)
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 20:30:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Oh I completely agree 100%. You can get yourself in a lot of trouble in the long run by being too controlling or mistrusting of your children. I guess my comment just came more from a place of the realizations I made as I matured a bit and became aware of the dynamics other people had with their parents. It helped me realize there were worse things than my parents wanting to have a number to call if it's 4 am and I'm not home and not answering my phone. My friends who had parents who didn't give a damn where they were or what they were doing (which is always what I wished mine were like) always told me they wished they had "parents who cared like mine."
Edit: wording
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a parent either and don't see myself being ready to be one for another 5 years at the very, very least for these exact reasons. I mean the kid never even asked to be born so for me to be anything other than completely ready in all facets including being emotionally mature enough to handle anything that's gonna come my way is, in my opinion, just not right.
I was going to a sleepover once and had the usual teen mani/pedi paraphernalia with me: shitty nail polish, lotions, etc.
I went back inside because I'd forgotten something and came back out to the car to my mother having dumped my shit out, yelling at me about how cocoa butter is a sex lubricant.
I brought this up to her recently when she said something about how she was always right when she was mad at me. She still thinks that it was a legitimate reason to be angry at me.
True, my parents did make me write down names, phone numbers and places I intended to go, with full addresses.
They would never call or come to see if I was there, unless they happened to be here. I know they were only scared for me.
But seriously, I could not go if I was unable to tell my parents the way of transportation that was going to be used if we had to go outside my friend's house. I was always (EVERY TIME I LEFT THE HOUSE, LITERALLY) warned about rapers and thieves, even when I was going to a friends home, and even if they met the parents.
During the first year of uni, I even had a home phone line. They would call at 7 pm. If I was not there they would call my mobile phone and get angry, then wait a little, call the home line again to see if I'm here, etc...
I moved for the second year in a place without home line.
And I failed this year because I wanted to do everything I could not do in life before, like going to friends houses, swimming pools, cinemas, conferences, museums, eating out, jogging...I did not know how to manage my time at all, I never felt like studying was demanding an organization since I never had real distractions.
Parents may worry I die, but they should also worry I could not manage to live.
Yeah that's definitely way too much. I would hate for my parents to have gone to those extremes. Especially the deal with the land line phone once you went to school. That would drive me insane. My parents never really harassed me by phone when I left for school. They just texted me pretty often and if I wanted a phone call I could call on my own or they would call if there was something important. In high school they really never went further than asking for where i was going along with names and numbers when I left with people they didn't know. I was really lucky that they gave me my own space and left me to figure out how to be responsible and manage my time.
My cousin had a similar experience to you so I can really see where you're coming from. He had a substantial scholarship to a really great school that he ended up losing because he couldn't handle his school work once my aunt wasn't there to control him all of the time. He had to leave that school and go to a "less prestigious one" and it took him way longer than planned to graduate because it was hard for him to push himself to take care of his responsibilities.
Narpity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:39:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Part of it was that I'd never needed independent time management skills before that because I always had something I was required to do. If you can develop those and the ability to say no to people now you should be fine!
Finally someone who feels my pain. It took me dropping out of school to get back on track, but It's a little late for me. I got like a 3.4 gpa last year (completely bombed my swimming class because I am afraid of swimming.) and it only brought my gpa up to a 2. It's pretty shitty when you end up not having any time to yourself so you milk the time you can by staying up really late.
That's exactly why my rule with my kids has been to let them use their free time as they wish. Neither of them are amazing piano players or future Olympic gold medallists, but they are staggeringly normal.
Especially with teenagers, they only have this time once, I want them to be normal teenagers that experience normal teenage things. It was hard not to laugh when the police turned up with my son a few months ago after they'd caught him and his friends in some abandoned hospital, mainly because I'm glad they were exploring rather than taking drugs or drinking.
It's funny, I'm old enough to drink but I've never gotten drunk yet. I've never even had that kind of freedom yet, and now I have a job. The last few years of my adult life have been basically one long summer vacation marked with periods of depression and feelings of worthlessness.
I still actually ask my parents if I can go do something, even though I'm an adult. Man, it's threads like these that make me feel like I'm in some kind of arrested development.
Don't feel too bad friend. I'd still be asking permission if I hadn't moved out as soon as I could, if visits are any indication. And trust me, what happened to me didn't help with feelings of worthlessness even if I am doing the college thing still.
Just went through exactly the same thing. Good news is, all but the largest of my state-funded scholarships can be earned back if I get my GPA up this year.
Here was how I avoided drinking until legal age in canada
me:"Hey dad, can I try that drink you and all the adults try?"
Him:knowing it was horrible tasting"Sure. Just a sip."
me:has a sip"IT TASTES HORRIBLE WHY?"
him:"Because it's beer and it tastes horrible."
I agree. If you're never allowed to have alcohol, then the first time when you do will be without adult supervision and you'll get way too drunk. If you were allowed to drink with your parents they would watch over you and make sure that you didn't get shitfaced. This leads to healthier drinking habits and a type of responsibility that you don't achieve when partying with friends.
I think it depends because I never tried any alcohol until I was 18 or 19 and I couldn't drink it, I would try but I would just gag and spit out. It tasted like a hospital or antiseptic.
Edit: Except for beer, beer tasted like fermented piss.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:42:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mixed drinks. Whiskey tastes like disinfectant. Whiskey and coke? Coke with a bit of a Listerine taste.
I disagree, my friends have tried most every mixed drink saying, "Oh, you can't even taste the alcohol." But everytime it's the first thing I taste, if there were some drink that tasted like straight Listerine I could drink that.
Same. My friends always look down on mixed drinks for being too light and always pushed me to try full whiskey or beer. Never really got the taste down.
They still joke around that I prefer Dr. Pepper to alcohol. I can't help that soda tastes nice!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:57:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm the same - eventually it just worked out because I'd just always be the designated driver (and I didn't get too much shit because I'm female in all honesty). There was a bar that served italian cream soda though... I liked when we went to that bar! I love Italian cream sodas.
Have you tried Dr.Mcgillicuddys? The peppermint and mentholmint ones taste just like drinking mouthwash. They're surprisingly easy to drink, especially the mentholmint one. I used to just throw them in the freezer for a bit and drink them straight...
That actually sounds pretty good, I'll have to try some when I can.
_corwin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mcgillicuddys apple whiskey isn't too bad. I think it's only 30% which probably helps with the smoothness.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The more you drink the less of it you taste. Drink one tastes like shit and burns. Drink two tastes like coke. Drink three tastes. That's it, it just tastes
Yeah, that's the problem, I like stuff that tastes good, it's the reason I like cooking. I'll just stick with the occasional joint or 2, it doesn't inhibit my decisions as much or my balance.
You should try a white Russian. It was the drink that the Dude was always drinking in The Big Lebowski. It's 1 shot vodka, 2 shots of balies (or any other coffee liqure (kaluha)). Then fill the rest up with half and half (or whole milk if you don't have any). It is mixed in a short wide glass with 3-4 ice cubes.
_corwin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Long Island Iced Tea. I imagine you can still probably taste the alcohol, but there are so many other flavors going on that it's not as offensive.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:33:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even if you allow people to drink younger, people will binge drink and get drunk. Young adults all around the world get pissed, also in countries where you can buy alcohol at younger ages. I'm from a country where you could buy beer from the age of 16 and ID checks were quite rare. This just made it such that people start drinking younger and drink just as much in university because that's when you start living on your own and do crazy shit just because you can.
I meant to say i beleive it would increase responsible drinking, not make all binge drinking go away. Yes there will always be people getting shitfaced, but I think it would make the statistics of binge drinking go down. You also get kids that have no idea how little it takes to get drunk and they end up getting alcohol poisoning their first time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more comfortable with adults binge drinking than 16 year olds getting drunk though. Alcohol is super bad for brain development. And I really don't think it would increase responsible drinking. Education might, just letting kids have a glass of wine or beer will not magically turn them into responsible drinkers.
You gotta be open with your kids with that. I was allowed a wine cooler or something small like that when I was younger. One wine cooler per camping trip! Parents having a mixed drink and I'm curious of what it tastes like? Sure, have a sip!
Went out to dinner when I was 15 and they insisted I order one drink with it. (Which is legal in my state)
I've got a healthy respect for alcohol and they never had issues with me going out and binging. If I went to a party or to hangout with some friends and I ended up having a drink i would call and ask them to pick me up. They were just glad I was responsible enough not to drink and drive. I didn't end up getting actually drunk until I turned 21.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:07:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read a study that showed that if kids were given alcohol at young ages, they are more likely to binge drink later, not less.
In my country, the age is 18 except many kids go out and party and get drunk starting at 15 or 16, and we have a horrible drinking culture. Lots of drunk driving, lots of people getting drunk all weekend etc.
Just because you start drinking early, dosen't mean your any safer or healthier about it nesscairly- though I'm not disagreeing with you, I'm sure your countries high age has something to do with it as well
Emmia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
College is all about making up for those 21 years without binge drinking and doing all the drugs. Sweet, someone said "All," Everybody drink.
Funny - I just don't see alcohol like that. It's never been a drug to me, just a beverage.
I mean, I've also never had any desire to do drugs anyhow, but still.
Siphon1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So true and especially when they have to hide their drinking in high school where they begin to be encouraged by friends and stuff to get wasted. Then getting wasted just becomes associated with drinking and now you drink to get drunk.
grumpu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:25:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents actually let me have one or two drinks every other weekend or so once I hit 16 or 17. They had to be home and I couldn't have friends over if I wanted alcohol, but it kept me from going fucking nuts in college since it wasn't novel anymore.
I dunno, in ireland most of us start drinking in fields when we're 15 years old, then spend the next 10 years coming home and puking a spicebag into our toilets.
Big_TX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone uses this argument but they but in Mexico it is very normal to drink with families starting at a younger age, and they still drink a lot. The English drink a lot. In Italy it was traditionally considered barbaric to get drunk, but they get drunk now. Idk if it is to the same extent as the US. In Mexico City there are a lot of French people who party an absurd amount, and do cocaine.
I don't think they are saying if people drank earlier they would never drink later, just that if people were made familiar with alcohol and it's affects in an early controlled environment, they would not go insane when given the opportunity that bad been stifled for 21 years.
1st week after I got my car and my license, my mom sent me to do some grocery shopping. I remember walking down the aisles and realizing that I was totally free to buy the things there that I always wanted but my parents wouldn't get.
Next thing I know, I'm in the car downing a whole tube of Pringles and an entire container of brownies. It was sooooo good. Couldn't help but think then "Christ I'm such a fatass."
You are my ex-roommate Naomi, lovely woman but she was raised thinking carob was chocolate... when she inevitably tried the real thing she was hooked, like heroin hooked. I've never met a bigger "chocoholic".
I'm that mom right now, he spends more time with various grandparents than his actual parents, and all they feed him is crap, fast food, boxes of macaroni, candy and soda. They don't have a grasp on what's healthy, and "they're grandparents, they should get to spoil him." So I'm the evil step mother who controls everything he eats at home. I don't refuse to give him that stuff, but it shouldn't be so frequent, and I'll tell him "you can have x if you eat z first." And I help him keep his own garden. I do worry that this isn't the right way to handle it, and that he might go crazy when he gets the freedom to, but I'm the only person in his life that expects him to eat well, I care about his future health, someone has to.
Same thing here. To this day my dad insists that I'm a "carbohydrate addict". Um no, you just bought into the Atkins nonsense of the 90's and never allowed me bread, cereal, cookies, candy of any kind, etc., so I just desperately shoveled it down when I was able to get my hands on it. Also he was a terrible cook so all the meat and veggies he cooked (which was basically all we ever ate) were not spiced or salted, just plain and awful. He meant well but went about it entirely the wrong way. I'm still learning to enjoy junk food in moderation.
My mom thought I had an eating disorder because I didn't eat much of her food. Really, it was because she was a terrible cook. She made plain boiled chicken most days of the week...
That happened to a roommate of mine. Her mom was a nutso vegan, sugar is death and health food or nothing type, and when she was out on her own she realized that no one could stop her from eating biscuits and gravy four times a week- so she did. The last time I saw her, she was having trouble getting the weight off but couldn't stop eating shit food. It was like she was making up for a lifetime of being deprived. It was sad.
Exactly this! I used to babysit these kids and there mom was very specific that she only wanted them to watch like 20 minutes of tv a night. She said that she didn't want them turning into zombies, but guess what they turned into when the tv came on? Zombies, couldn't take their eyes off the screen for a second. Obviously going out and being active is better than staying inside watching tv all day, but you should be teaching how to have fun and not need the tv, rather than treating as a treasured prize, cause then that is all they will want.
My sisters and I were like this with cable. We'd be glued to the screen on the rare events we had access to it. My parents probably took this as evidence that it was bad for us, but really, if we did have cable, the novelty would have been lost and we wouldn't have been so obsessive. When you so rarely get access to something that you like, and you don't know when the next time you'll get it will be, of course you're gonna binge.
Siphon1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats what I always worried about with the parents who treat their kids like little snow flakes who need special diets. My bro had a friend who wasnt allowed to have candy when he at home. when he came to sleep at our place though, our candy char would be near emptied.
It's like if you never are allowed to have it, youre going to crave it a lot more once you get your first taste and then you have to have a whole lot of self control to not eat all that stuff.
I grew up having sweets around and I have to be careful myself haha. I typically just try not to buy the stuff too often and when I do I keep it out of site so that when I have a craving, I go get it. But it's not like I see it often so that I want one every day
It's also a matter of knowing your access is limited, so you take advantage while you can. You don't know when you'll be able to get junk food again, so you go nuts.
Also, I understand that, to a slightly lesser extent. I've seen a lot of examples of pretty much exactly what you said, but also many saying they did the same despite being allowed sweets. Guess there's just no winning, huh?
So many parents don't seem to understand this. It's the same thing with alcohol.
What my parents would do is allow me to get whatever kind of candy or chips or treat i wanted and i could eat it on Saturday night and us kids watched a movie. I would usually get kind of sick from all the candy that night that I didn't really want any sugar for the rest of the week.
I'm sure she did right by me but if I'd been allowed treats in moderation more often I don't think I'd have gone quite as mad.
As someone who had it the opposite; you're definitely correct in my case.
My mom always had dishes full of candy around the house, and a drawer that was always stuffed with snacks. It was such a normal thing that my sister and I didn't even touch it. Even Halloween, we'd eat a tiny bit of candy and the rest would sit in the snack drawer until it went bad. As a kid it boggled my mind how my friends would go through half a grocery bag of candy in one night and all be sick the next day.
Now as an adult I probably touch things like candy/ice cream/cake two or three times a year and don't really like them. I have a well established reputation for passing on dessert in favor of another helping of dinner.
gyroda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:57:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Passing on desert? Not liking sweet things?
Have you ever heard of a cheese board? It might change your life.
One of my friends in school had a super restrictive religious family. Like, couldn't wear nail polish or makeup of any kind, couldn't wear anything that would show her knees, nothing skimpier than a tee shirt, etc. As soon she was on her own - she was trying all the things!
My parents taught me the opposite, that I could eat whatever (deep fried is a food group to them) I am still trying to get out of it... I hate being as disgusting as i currently am :( parents need to learn to teach children healthy eating habits and MODERATION
My mom was extremely restrictive with food and by the time I was 12 I started sneaking junk food into the house and developed bulimia :(. I'm certain it would never have happened if she'd just allowed me to have some junk food now and again.
Same thing happened to me, but not just with food. I went pretty crazy with booze, weed, and drugs my freshman year. I still did them the other years, but never to the extent of freshman year
Same here. Wasn't allowed sweets very often, if at all. Went nuts when I got a job and could buy what I wanted. So many bag of hot cheetos limon and boxes of fruit gushers and cups of pudding.
at least it was only sugar. I grew up in a religious school and ended up being a gigantic slut for like a decade.
Arful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's kinda how I was. Granted my parents were never health nuts, but my mom cooked EVERY MEAL. We went out to eat for dinner maybe 5 times a year. Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE the fact that I got a home cooked meal every single night and I totally understand how spoiled I was.
But since eating out, even at McDonald's, was SUCH a treat that when I moved out on my own, I realized 1) cooking is hard and time consuming and 2) I could eat out whenever I wanted. Thus my unhealthy fast food craze, and now I have all this extra weight to lose.
Bam801 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was never restricted from foods, but I'll be damned if I didn't eat a whole tub of cookie dough raw when I got my first place.
For the record I did this over a week.
Sawses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep! Super strict rules are the best way to ensure you go off the deep end later. I was allowed to eat as much of anything I wanted...As long as I stopped whenever I was full. Then again, I never really had a sweet tooth too much. I don't eat super healthy, but I also don't eat ridiculously terrible food. I think that was partly good parenting and partly plain luck that I wasn't crazy for sweets.
Yeah, whenever I meet a kid who isn't allowed to have junk food, he goes nuts when he does get access to it. My sisters and I were like this in regards to cable TV. We didn't have cable growing up, so whenever we were at a relative's house or whatever that did have it, we would watch soooo much. I'm sure my parents took this as evidence that getting cable would have been bad for us, but really, we only binge watched because cable was so limited to us. If we had cable access more frequently, it would have stopped being a novelty and we wouldn't have wanted to watch cartoons for 8 hours straight, ha ha.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How much weight did you end up gaining? The freshman 15lbs or more?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn son, thats a lot to lose.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:47:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's great, I hope you keep at it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:07:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:38:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 17:34:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that behavior isn't normal. It's one thing to want your kid to be healthy, but if you're willing to poison your relationship with your child by relentlessly lying to them you've got deep psychological problems.
I swear every reddit thread about parents has shit like this upvoted to the top. Everytime I read one i'm convinced more and more my parents deserve a medal for not being dickheads when I was a kid.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:57:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah my parents were controlling af but they never straight up lied about me having an allergy. So weird. I guess some people have kids because they want to have power over something.
I was reading the thread about the worst gifts while I was home over the weekend and actually stopped and said, "Hey mom? Thanks for not being a shitty parent."
My parents didn't do this, but MANY parents did where I grew up. "You can't have sugar, you're hyper." Except their birthday. The big lie was "my kid is diabetic." For years in grade school, I had dozens of "diabetic" peers. Then, one year, we had a kid who actually diabetic. Had to take insulin via injection. So the school decided to explain it in part of a mandatory assembly for "handicap awareness" week.
"This is Dean, and Dean is a NORMAL BOY. Only he has to inject needles into his body 2-3 times a day. Show them, Dean..."
Dean awkwardly showed us his diabetic routine.
The school meant well. The 1970s were a different time. But the "diabetic" kids FREAKED OUT. They went home to their parents, hysterical they had to take needles and could die if they don't.
Yeah. That didn't go over well with those parents who thought they had the perfect plan.
That's actually really fucked up. That could have easily led to a really unhealthy relationship with food.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's really not. Do you know how much sugar is in our diets? I wish my parents did the same to me. Probably added 10 years to his life just from that. At least.
There's a difference between telling your kids that sugar is unhealthy in an age appropriate way (such as "Eating too much sugar can make you sick/give you a tummy ache,"), treating it as a "special occasion" food and limiting its consumption when possible, and really pushing healthy snacks like fruits, vegetables, etc. so they learn they're actually pretty tasty OR are just more likely to grab an apple when they want a snack instead of a bag of 95% high fructose corn syrup. (My parents never told me growing up that sugar would make me die, but to this day I fucking love stuff like salads and sweet potatoes)
Believing that any consumption of unhealthy foods will literally kill you isn't a very good mindset to have and if it persists could potentially lead eating habits that are a different kind of unhealthy. Alternatively, (and more likely) when the kid learns the truth, they're probably going to be pissed and want to rebel by stuffing as much greasy, sugary, processed shit into their mouth as quickly as they humanly can.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:12:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
.....I mean, I had kind of at least been understanding until you said they ate your candy. Why didn't they follow it themselves?
...there was a brother and sister like that at my& my cousin's elementary. their mom told everyone they had diabetes. my aunt would buy certain snacks for the girl because she was in our scout troop and then it turned out both kids were healthy as can be and it pissed off& scared the hell out of my aunt (who is a nurse) because if something ever happened to them, they would've been given the wrong medicines and things and she still talks about it as one of the most irresponsible and scary things she's ever seen a parent do.. so your parents could've been worse, at least they only told you and not the whole world, that you were 'allergic to sugar'.
Or letting a child believe he could DIE from involuntary contact with sugar...and by extension, his school and community reacted as if he had an allergy not that his parents were just assholes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda makes sense because as a kid you have to go to about 50 birthday parties a month, but Halloween? That's just once a year!
They could have just told him that sugar is bad for him and that he should be eating little of it instead of perpetually lying and telling him that it'll kill him if he eats it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
That's why parents moderate for them instead of letting the kids get candy for themselves, lying about where it goes, and eating it themselves.
Ashkela ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:16:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So you teach your child 'everything in moderation' instead of 'this will kill you.' Especially if said child ends up having an ACTUAL dangerous allergy/disease. Because once they found out that they weren't allergic to sugar or didn't have diabetes, why would they believe they weren't allergic to peanuts or shellfish or insert other allergen here?
The absence of sugar isn't what makes this fucked up. What makes this fucked up is telling the kid they are allergic to and will die from an extremely common substance that is in pretty much all food, even getting the school in on it (seriously, how did that fly? Someone should have called bullshit on "sugar allergy").
This is serious psychological manipulation. And I'd say these parents are royally fucked if they were doing it because they were crazy health nuts. But no, they aren't, because they themselves gorged on his candy. I don't even know what that makes these people, "sadistic abusive assholes" doesn't quite sound serious enough.
You want kids killing their parents on their sleep? Because this is how you get kids killing their parents on their sleep
Hell I don't get parents outright lying to force their ways with the kids, they got to know sooner or later they are going to be caught on and the kids are never going to trust their ass, and quite possible they are going to send you to the asylum at first chance.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Mom was just like this. Neither I nor any of my brothers and sisters got to have sweets pretty much ever. She unfortunately passed away, and my Dad stopped caring about restricting sugar intake. Finally, I had ice cream to cry into.
I've heard of other parents doing this but giving the kid a big toy like a remote control car or something like that. Still pretty depressing I guess...candy is fucking delicious.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:05:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is so funny and mean, especially that they just ate all your candy themselves.
Holy shit, they're good. They could have at least left money behind
gufcfan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
but the weirdest thing was that until the 5th grade i believed in the halloween fairy. i still got to dress up in a costume and go trick or treating for hours, but at the end of the night i would leave my bag of candy outside my bedroom door, and overnight the fairy would take it and leave me a new bag full of crackers and fruit snacks and other "treats" while in reality my parents just ate all my candy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your parents are kind of genius.
But also, they could have just said "no sugar." I don't know why people don't just tell their kids what's what. They only whine if it works. When it stops working, they'll stop whining.
Honestly you are probably better off for it. My mom wouldn't let me eat sugary cereals and stuff like that and then my dad would spoil me with treats. I don't have a high metabolism anymore and I weigh 200 pounds. I'm struggling to lose weight.
OH MY GOD my parents did the same thing. Turns out my mom had become diabetic because of her addiction to sugar and fucked up her whole digestion tract and metabolism. It sucked missing out on the cake and the sweets at birthday parties. But now I don't eat much sugar because I never developed a taste for it, which is nice.
That really sucks but I'm stealing the Halloween Fairy idea. My toddler has a severe peanut allergy so he won't be able to eat a lot of Halloween candy. The Halloween Fairy can bring him starburst and skittles and stuff in exchange for his deadly peanut-y snacks. No crackers or carrots. I'm not a monster.
We call that the "Switch Witch," but it's a one-for-one tradeout for the stuff my kids are ACTUALLY allergic to. (Just dairy now for the older one, but corn for the younger one... which knocks out nearly everything.)
We put the stuff we trade out back in the bowl to give out to trick-or-treaters. :-P
amolad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
halloween fairy
Not The Great Pumpkin?
jedi168 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you lie to me. A phrase I said growing up.
koreth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not a fan of the lying, but if your parents kept you from developing a sugar habit they may have done you a huge long-term favor. My parents let me eat lots of candy and dessert as a kid and I've had to struggle really hard with the resulting sweet tooth as an adult. There's basically no evidence saying added sugar is good for health, and plenty of evidence suggesting it's not.
Korsola ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The family I nanny for has a thing called the "switch witch." After trick or treating the switch witch comes and takes the candy and leaves a toy in exchange. They do let the kids pick out about 10 pieces of candy to keep (and they do get treats semi-regularly anyway) so I thought it was genius. The kids don't eat mounds of candy and they're happy with the toys. Win-win.
My parents only let me have candy on special occasions, like Halloween or my birthday. Otherwise, no candy for me. Turns out, that was a great idea, it made candy seem really special and now as an adult I'm not too fond of candy which has saved trips to the dentist. I'm fairly happy with their decision.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I believed in the Tooth Fairy until I was, like, 12. That's because my mom would write letters in this miniscule handwriting that I'd have to use a magnifying glass for and make a tiny portrait on a Pog. I made her gifts, too, like a surfboard out of a popsicle stick and stuff. She even wrote me a very comforting letter after I lost a tooth down the drain during the Olympics one year. I was going through my mom's stuff (snooping, she's not dead or anything) and she kept all the letters I ever sent the tooth fairy. I kept all of the responses. My tooth fairy's name was Zlata Zapata, by the way. My mom is awesome.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is not as bad as if they told you that the air outside is poisonous to you and therefor you have to stay inside and watch dancing shows when you want to crush the skull of your enemies instead.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of that episode of Raising Hope where his parents lied and said he was allergic to fruit, and then he found out he wasn't so he ate everything. Then it turns out he was allergic to starfruit when his tongue swelled up.
This made me so sad for you. They could've at LEAST let you keep it, but they would portion it out for you. It's not like you were going to eat it all at once! That takes all of the fun out of halloween imho. :(
When my husband was a junior in high school he spent a year abroad in Brazil. When he came home he brought some highly caffeinated soda. His 3-year-old brother asked his mom if he could have some of the soda. Mind you, the label was entirely in Portuguese, so she couldn't read it, and didn't think to ask my husband. She let his little brother have some and it put him in the hospital. His heart went nuts. His parent's response was to tell him he was allergic to caffeine and chocolate, AND blamed the entire incident and allergy on my husband. This lasted until he was nearly 14 and they never took any responsibility for it.
We had the "vacation fairy" as kids. Whenever my parents went out of town they would leave a bunch of dollar store toys with whomever was taking care of us and if we behaved that day, the vacation fairy would leave us a toy. If not, no toy. I figured this out pretty young but made it my mission in life to convince my little sister she was real for YEARS longer than she had any right to believe.
lol I wasn't allowed to eat Halloween candy because there was always reports of razor blades in my neighborhood. Every year we would just throw all the candy in the trash can.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure your "Halloween fairy" is actually the Great Pumpkin.
Jennifer Garner was saying with her kids she does something called the Switch Witch on Halloween. They can eat some of their candy but they have to leave most of it overnight and the Switch Witch will come and swap the candy leftover for a toy. The more candy, the better the toy. So it's a win-win if you don't want your kids eating all that sugar.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Our son is only 3 but we decided to do the Halloween fairy. He gets to choose some candies he wants out of the pile, and what he wants to sacrifice to the fairy. Then the next day the bag is gone and there is a new toy instead. In everyday life he gets to have treats in moderation, we aren't crazy. We just don't want a big bag of candy for him to ask us for 100x a day.
My mums was "Can you hoover the living room after dinner" and then later on "Well since you've got it out, you might as well do the rest of the house" Seriously mum wtf?! Also if got up to go to the toilet it was "Oh, as you're up, can you make me a cup of coffee on the way back?" The kitchen is NOT on the way back from the bathroom! I literally have to take a detour to go into the kitchen!
Ehh, I get in trouble for "tone" all the time. I guess I'm supposed to say "Oh golly gee gosh! I'm so fliddly excited to go wading in a river for barbed wire!"
In fairness, considering how much your mom has (likely, I don't know you personally) done for you your entire life, you can imagine the kind of feeling the mom gets when their kid gets this face like they were just asked to eat an entire bag of shit when asked to contribute a little bit to the household. Probably some thoughts of why the kid is so ungrateful momentarily flicker in their heads.
Also, nothing like thinking about this from the parents' perspective to remind you that you're getting old, hmm...
cmckone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I said biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch
Tyloo1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:26:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Being the smart ass that I was/am, I always figured that when mom calls you to, "come here," that 9/10 it aint for your benefit and often ends as a request of some sort so I'd just say, "you come here!" I mean, if you need something from me, the least you can do is come to me. Mom didn't like that so much.
I actually just did this over the weekend at a bar. There's this guy who is ok but not my favorite. He was with some new chick I assumed he wanted to introduce me to so he could be all, "aint she cute, therefor aren't I awesome? blah blah," and even though I was in a conversation he hollered from half-way down the bar for me to come over. And even though I was standing and they were sitting I still don't like that shit so I just said, "no," and kept on talking. And he's like, "Dude! Just come over here for a second." And I'm like, "YOU just come over here for a second." Then he just goes sad face. I did go over a few minutes later but I'll be damned if it was gonna be right when he called me. I mean wtf? -Does he think I'll let him pee on me while looking me dead in the eye too!?! I think not!
Depending on the task, and what the situation looks like, I'll respond with a sarcastic "no", and start doing said task.
u_torn ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 16:49:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, in a similar vein:
I'd get asked to do some chore or another and I might sigh and go do it. But that sigh man, "No, don't do me any favors", I mean I'm clearly not going to go flip over all the mattresses in the house for the sheer joy of it.
If nothing else, at least my mom was straightforward about asking me for shit. We're all upstairs in bed, calls from other room "can you run downstairs to get me a glass of water".
Actually she only asked me to do that once, and the glass of water exploded (literally) and she never asked me again.
I took a glass out of the dishwasher that had just finished drying, and filled it with ice from the machine, and then immediately water. Shards of glass went everywhere including my face. Could happen to anyone really, but I'd done the same thing a ton of times and was pretty fucking shocked as an 8 year old that my glass of water just exploded literally in my face.
S4ngu ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:18:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did that but with boiling water into a cold glass, luckily the glass very neatly split in two.
Mine actually busted pieces from the center of the glass out of it while still remaining mostly in the shape of a glass. It was very clearly not dropped, yet in pieces. I handed my mom the glass and was like "heres your water". She was so confused.
Nope, my dishwasher had quite literally just finished running and the glasses were pretty hot. I always liked watching the ice crack in the glass when I filled it with water, this time apparently more then the ice cracked. No one had ever told me how really hot + really cold = extremely violent reactions.
Ha! I don't ask. I show them the to do list for the day and dole out the chores. I can't count how many times I've said "It is not my job or your dad's job to do this stuff; it's the job of everyone who lives here to contribute to the upkeep of the house."
When my oldest was maybe ten or eleven he said, "Dad, it's really nice of you to help Mom with the kitchen." And my husband said, "No, I'm not 'helping' your mom. It's not her job; it's our job."
Which reminds me, I've got to dole out the chores for today....
Well thanks. But I am the mom in this situation. Either way, my husband and I thank you for the compliment. Now if we could figure out how to get the chores done with 50% less grousing, that would really be something.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Withhold the wifi password until chores are done ;)
just pulling weeds out of the lawn with a great big smile on your face
Solaer ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:50:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's some emotionally manipulative bullshit. I'm 26 and my dad does that to this day. Ask me a favor and I'm more than happy to help you out, but if you say it like this, assuming I'm going to do it, it only pisses me off. I've started saying no...
Ugh! I'm 25 and visiting my parents for a week, it's day #2 and I'm already pissed off. Someone, not me, left the bathroom door open after using it and a gust of wind came through the house and slammed the door, which startled my dad sitting in the other room so he completely over reacted shouting in my direction "HOW HARD IS IS TO PROP OPEN THE DOOR?!" He kept repeating himself as I sat there ignoring him, about the fifth time he said it, I looked at him and said, "apparently pretty hard." My whole life until now I would have apologized and jumped up to prop open the door without a 2nd thought, but now that I've been living on my own for a few years I'm just starting to think that maybe that sort of behavior isn't normal, and I'm not responsible for his lazy bad attitude.
Yeah I take time off from work to come back for the holidays and she wants me to fix half the house. I'm stressed, tired, and just want to relax. But I'm willing to put that all aside and do it anyways...but not if she acts like that. I started refusing to do it until she asks like a respectful adult.
People trying to get me to do stuff this way makes my blood boil.
Used to have a coworker that would do this. "Would you like too..." Or "I'm sure you'd like to..."
HELL NO. The day my wife started doing it, I told her to stop. If you want me to do something, just ask me like an adult. As me "Would you kindly go do..." and I'll go do it just because it amuses me to.
My favorite is "Can you do me a favor?" and then they ask anyway, as if my opinion mattered anyways. If I said no, I would still be expected to do the 'favor' - that's not a fucking favor that is a task.
your comment made my blood boil. my mom did this every time with me and my brother. she tried this a week ago too and i told her flat out, no i wont do a favor for him because i dont damn well want too. (we both are 27)
"I would be grateful if you..." When I was growing up I hadn't fully grasped nuance and it took me a full decade to realize that she wasn't asking nicely, but demanding in a very insincere fashion.
Actually asking me to do something would have gotten me off my ass. Tying it to her emotional state didn't connect me to the chores. It was asking without stating an actual desire or need.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:30:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I found that when someone is actually asking instead of telling, I am more likely to go do the task, and without waiting, because I do feel like contributing. It's amazing what freedom of choice can do.
Yeah mom, lady who birthed me, fed me, washed me, was there for all my boo-boos, FUCK YOU
mxzf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:23:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If my parents ask/tell me to do something, I will, I respect them enough to do that even as an adult. But if you ask me if I'd like to do something, I'll answer with an honest "no" if I don't feel like it. I've got no issue doing things if I need to, but a passive aggressive tangential question will get an honest answer.
I respect all the work my mother did raising me. Despite the fact that she fucked up a good chunk of it.
That does not mean she gets carte blanche to be passive aggressive, manipulative, or otherwise harmful to me for the rest of my adult life. Nor does it mean I am obligated to do 100% of the things she wants me to do, at the expense of myself. There's nothing wrong with asking her to act like a mature adult, and refusing to put up with harmful behaviors on her part.
Thanks for being so judgemental though.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:37:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Context is important. "Thanks for visiting. I know you're only back for a few days, and are tired from working 14 hour shifts but I'd really appreciate it if you helped rebuild the porch" is a pretty damn far cry from "Would you like to rebuild the porch for me?"
It's asking for a favor without actually asking. It's presumptuous, entitled, and strongly insinuates that there is only one right answer. If the answer is "no" it tends to spiral into guilt tripping and other manipulation.
tl;dr If you want to ask for a favor then actually ask for it. Don't demand it, especially not in a way that makes it sound like you're offering someone something they should enjoy.
I wasn't being judgmental. I was replying with a stupid comment on a stupid forum. I don't really care how your momma raised you. Good luck with life!
Ps I didn't even get passed the 4th or 5th word or your reply ๐
Haha my mum used to do this to me constantly when my room was on the top floor of our house. If i argued, she would tell me "not to be lazy"!
Whilst sitting in the living room 15ft away from the kettle.
Unbelievable
Heck my dad used to walk past the kitchen and fridge just to open my door and tell me to get him a beer. I'm like seriously dad? It takes less effort on your part to grab a beer out the fridge than it takes to walk to my room. He'd actually go out of us way to be a pain in my ass.
DougSTL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because he had to put up with your shit.
Also let's be realistic, that's a funny thing to do.
My dad hid nothing. It wasn't "while you're up," it was just "hey, go grab my wallet from upstairs," or "run down to the basement and get me a Pepsi." He'd call me into the living room from the kitchen where I was working on homework or dishes and ask for a refill of his wine or scotch. I don't drink, but I know how to properly pour wine and fix his scotch.
He was lazy after a day of work, and there's no need to do something when the kids can get it.
neonerz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eh. Parents don't have kids for the sake of the kid, they have kids because they wanted to. If I buy a new camera or adopt a dog it's not a sacrifice so why would having a kid be one?
Iorith ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:31:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah this is no use. I would gladly jump over the moon for my mom, no matter how she asked. I'm just assuming that everyone's mom here was a terrible person and they enjoyed being problematic.
She gave birth to you and does a million things you'll never, a) notice, and/or b) thank her for. Hoover the house and get her a damn cup of coffee without complaining :)
Well to be fair, when my sister and I lived at home, we used to clean the house top to bottom every thursday, do the washing up after every meal, help with the shopping, hang the laundry, and take turns to make dinner. So we weren't exactly lazy layabouts in the home.
That's great! You guys sound very helpful :) Learning how to cook BEFORE you move out is awesome. My mom operated on a "get out of my kitchen" so my boyfriend taught me how to cook and use spices and flavours properly. It's made eating real food (not Kraft dinner or frozen pizzas) much less boring.
My dad was infamous for "hey, do you have your shoes on?" as an excuse to get me to do things for him outside. Because apparently he was incapable of just asking me to do something or putting on his shoes.
Gnivil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Dad does shit like this, and he gives me a fucking grin while he does it. He knows. He knows.
My mom will, while sitting one room over from the back door, yell at me on the other side of the house to come let the dog out.
neonerz ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:05:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom spent the first few years of your life literally wiping your ass, then doing pretty much everything else for you up to this point. The least you could do is make her a god damn cup of coffee, is what I'd say to my son if he ever develops this type of attitude about doing stuff like this.
Though we are smart, we started training him early. He's only 15 months, and already knows how to help out away the laundry.
Well if you read my other reply, you'll see that myself and my sister did help out a lot. It was in equal household when I lived at home just as it is in equal household now that I live with my husband.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:04:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A classic from my dad: "while you're standing, grab me [X]"
Usually the person asked would be sitting at that very moment.
My dad right there. My sister and I would be in one room playing something on PS2. He'd shout out asking one of us to come here, across the house in the living room. Then he'd ask whoever showed up to hand him the remote, which was five or six feet away from him max.
Speaking from the kids side, that's not an unfair thing to do. She preps and cooks, kid sets the table. Kid gets way better deal.
rotll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Totally valid request if I am busy getting things to the table, plating whatever, or finishing off some last thing. Wouldn't bother me a bit in the least making that request. Or reminding those at the table that since I cooked, they get to do dishes.
Oh yeah my mom is great at this. "Now that you're over I just have some paperwork that got sent here by mistake, and can you get some boxes from the garage for me? Also we're going to church sunday and it'd be nice if you'd come. And have you thought about going back to school?"
jdero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:13:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You set the table forks on the right, you could just switch the silverware to the left, mom is like "its all wrong start over" "but I could..." "are you back talking me, go to your room" five minutes later "I thought I told you to set the table"
Right. But I assumed by using those exact words, you were attempting to also make a meta acronym (like everyone else who uses that wording). Yours ends up "It's so meta even that acronym is (ISMETAI)."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it's why i said It's so meta, even that acronym is, instead of the usual I'm so meta, even this acronym.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"it's so meta even that acronym"
Adding "is" ruins it, as Bill Clinton will tell you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
when i refer to "that" acronym, i am referring to /u/coldfu's comment.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
when i say referring to "that acronym", i'm referring to /u/coldfu's comment.
RuneLFox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I know that, but the line is originally from XKCD I think.
"I'm So Meta, Even This Acronym", which is ISMETA, as an acronym.
Your one as an acronym would be ISMETAI, which isn't fully correct. ;D
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i know, i was trying to put a spin on the original line, but with the MIKE ECHO TANGO ALPHA as the acronym, and honestly, this is the only way i could think of. it's why i say that acronym instead of this acronym.
RuneLFox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but you didn't need the is at the en--why am I so militant about this?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i just had the is, because otherwise the acronym would be "it's so meta, even that acronym M.E.T.A", instead of what it is this way, "It's so meta, even that acronym is M.E.T.A".
RuneLFox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, but your comment spelled ISMETA if it was an acronym as well. I guess I see what you were trying to achieve. I'm just salty.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, i expected a bit of confusion, i was just trying to change the formula a bit, that's all.
RuneLFox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HOW DARE YOU NOT CONFORM
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ANARCHY!
RuneLFox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
BURN THE HERETIC
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm enjoying that this is going over peoples head. Kind of obvious what you did there.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:)
rtx447 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:24:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guess you shouldn't go outside and play football then.
Siphon1 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:12:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the quarter back throws the ball to 32. It's almost there! Wait! appears 32's mom has called him from across the house.
32 looks to be in panic. An now he's heading for the side lines. Im getting reports that 32's mm is asking if he wants lunch. Mean while 43 on the defending team has intercepted the ball and scored.
32 is still AFK! theres no one fill his position . The quarter back has Afk'd and is no raging at his team.
Let's listen in. "Yoo Gize Suk. I cant believe Im getting stuck with a a bunch of mama's boys who dont even know how to make a play. Im reporting all of you."
it appears 32 has returned to find half his team is fighting in chat while the other half attempts to salvage the game. the team was winning by 3 but is no a whopping 28 behind.
But if it can't be paused, that likely means he is playing a multiplayer game. Do you want your son to not be able to play a lot of games, and not be able to play with his friends?
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my mum thinks i should abandon competitive matches of cs or lol upon being asked to do trivial tasks that i can do in a minute after the damn game is over
'whats more important, your game or me?'
well it's clearly you but surely it can wait 10 fucking minutes
but in the end i'd rather piss off 4 ruskis than my mother so i normally end up abandoning
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:08:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:26:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait until she's at the last boss of a group dungeon and tell her to pause the game for 2 hours.
I've trained my parents to accept this fact after showing them that the game continues on without me and adversely affects my friend that I'm playing with, who lives in another country.
Unrelated: if I don't show up for food, they eat without me.
Everyone complaining about meals being made for them. Shit.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:20:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not that there is a meal. It's that people are busy doing shit and are forced to drop what they're doing for a damn sandwich.
If you were at work stuck with 20 mins left of work on the clock before your break you don't just get up early and go for lunch because that just pisses off your boss and leaves unfinished work. You finish and then clock out. Same thing can apply for videogames too.
It's more that we get called away to wait for the meal to be done when we could just as easily be called after it's ready. Especially when it's something that we can't pause or would lose progress on if we just turn it off now instead of five minutes from now.
Gaddafo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: Can you ask them to wait for you?
Siphon1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OMG this. It is SSSOOOOO hard trying to get my parents to understand this about video games. While some games I dont mind leavings such as an fps, other games like mobas you simply cant leave.
And of course it will be mid match of heroes of the storm when supper is ready and God forbid you you go eat a bit later.
Now Ive had to quit, get leaver penalty, lose exp I would get from winning a game, and leave my team with a bot for tank role.
I just took to shouting "I'm on the phone", because for some reason it's more impolite to hang up on someone than it is to abandon a team you're playing a video game with half way through.
It was probably that she just had a better understanding of phone calls than she did online interactions, and she could see the headset more than she could look at a game and see if it was online.
Just pause the game and come here. My wife finally, after I got her an Xbox one learned that no you cannot just pause a game that is being played online.
Oh god my mom has so many trust issues when it comes to the whole pausing thing. Because back when I got my first console I had managed to convince her that there was no pause button for several years. Then one day her friend ruined it for me and told her about that there was a pause feature that whole time. So now she always flips out on me when I say something along the lines of "Hang on I can't pause/walk away right now!" it really drives her crazy when I'm playing something that the multiplayer has a pause screen on it which doesn't do anything other than let you access the options menu.
but my husband will beat you up again if you don't
Kbost92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I CANT EAT RIGHT NOW ANOTHER SETTLEMENT NEEDS MY HELP
MyPacman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nephew loves visiting our gaming home, rules change from -
'end the game before I pull the power plug out'
to our rules which are -
'it is rude to disconnect from this game, people are depending on me'
Drives my sister crazy.
I like to think that Millenials, as parents, will at least understand this concept
Luminya1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, this one I get. My sons got tired of trying to explain this one to me so instead they taught me online gaming mmorpg style. I quickly learned that when you are on a raid and either the mt or main healer, there is no such thing as pausing. You are playing full tilt and no one better disturb you!
"Just save it then!", she said... Took some time till she understood how it worked, why I sometimes had to find a place to save before I could turn off the console (mostly during my first play through of ff9 when I was a kid) and why I couldn't leave an online game when she wanted me to. She understood how it all worked eventually and yelling basically stopped when we respected each other.
I think I was really lucky that my parents were interested enough in my hobbies to understand that I had to find a save point first before shutting down the game or all my progress was lost.
I heard from many kids that their parents would just turn off the console mid game . Mine never did that
Not sure about your family, but this was a power thing in my house. If I tried the yell across the house thing, my parents would pretend to not hear it and would wait for me to come to them to ask them in person, even if they called me from across the house and I responded.
So wait, your mad that you had to get up and stop playing your video game to go and answer your mom who is probably busy making your lunch already? Makes sense to me!
wasn't mad it was just frustrating when I was a kid to have to get up off my lazy ass and go to her in person. Now as an old guy I realize it was just her to try and make me not be so lazy and more polite.
If she can shout at him from another room and expect him to hear, then I'm sure she can hear him if he shouts back, why should he have to actually go into the room for her to ask him something?
Well, first of all Rory, not sure why you are on reddit seeing as where/when your from shouldn't have the the technology available for you to even be here! And secondly, the reasons anyone (not just OP) should get up are as follows: 1. She is his mother. There should be a level of respect there. 2. She is fixing his his lunch, so the least amount of effort he could do is to get up and tell her (maybe she's hard of hearing?). 3. I'm also assuming she changed his diapers, helped him learn, loved him, cared for him; is it really too much to ask that he get up from a game he's playing to answer his mother? If he was doing a chore or homework, I could see your point, but just because someone is playing a video game? C'mon son
Doing that in my house would have gotten me a belt or switch. If you hear your name called, you don't yell back and ask " what? " You get up and take your ass to wherever you were being summoned. And when you get there, you respond with " yes ma'am or yes sir "
Currently teaching this to my soon to be step kids. Have manners and show respect.
I think this is a southern thing
Mikkels ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:34:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have such a hard life.
jfreez ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:58:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah... That starts over when you get married. At least it did for me.
That starts over when you get married. At least it did for me.
My wife excels at this. Air conditioner running, TV playing loud enough to be heard over the AC, wife walks out of the room to the kitchen, door to kitchen swings closed...and then I can vaguely hear her say something that is drowned out by her location and the cacophony of sound in the living room. Any attempt to query what was said/asked receives no reply. Queue dropping what I was doing and going to the kitchen to find out what she was saying..."Never mind, I found it."
Lucky son of a bitch. One day you won't have lunch, and you'll long for the days when there was always food in the fridge and someone who was happy to prepare it for you
I must be doing something wrong. I'm always having to stop what I'm doing and go to the other end of the house to find out what my kids want. And it's generally to tell me about a mod in Minecraft. I play vanilla dammit!
I'm not kidding when I say this all happens within 5-10 seconds, so when I'm in the middle of doing something and it sometimes takes 30 seconds to put a crochet needle or whatever down, this can happen 3 times over.
Hold on a minute. Are you complaining because you had to walk up a flight of stairs for someone to offer to make you free food?
Jonsler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Both my girlfriend and I are gamers so we understand this but, my 17yr old gets so drawn in that he doesn't hear us call him. The second yell is "Acknowledge!" Once he yells back, we know we're good.
rmsurfs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God damn man I didn't read your username and thought she was just rapidly shouting "hot barbeque tonight!" like it was some sort of smorgasbord on a bbq and I was upset for a second because that sounds awesome.
javyha7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In parents defense, my wife tries to talk to me when she's in other rooms all the time, and I just politely go to whatever room she's in and say "I didn't here a thing you said" So when I think back to these times, I'm more forgiving.
My parents did this with me, until I learned to bite my tongue and pretend to have heard nothing. They were literally shouting outside my door and I was ignoring them until they came in to see if I was there. You want me to come and find you rather than shout back and forth? Set an example.
Fuck, I thought it was just me. My parents believe that if I want to talk to them, I need to go to them, and if they want to talk to me, I need to go to them as well.
Eramy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well she already told you there'd be hot bbq tonight. That's on you for not listening properly.
My dad keeps doing this, and I have no idea why. I'm like 5 meters away, dad, just tell me what you want to say. I don't have to be right there to hear all about how you sent me a link on facebook and how I should check it out.
text from mom: can I speak to you?
text from me: what about?
text from mom: just come downstairs I need to talk to you about something?
sweat drips down my neck
please let it not be this or that, you don't think she found your... no.
walks downstairs to the living room
mom: "Can you look at my phone? Earlier I was on Facebook and I clicked on an article that was on your aunt Martha's page and now it's telling me I have a virus..."
They do this on purpose to make you come to where they are because they don't want to encourage shouting across the house. And apparently you fell for it. Every time. :P
As a parent I admit that I have a double standard when it comes to yelling upstairs to get the kids attention. If they yell for me or my wife, they get ignored until they get off their lazy ass and walk downstairs to find us.
I didn't read the username and thought your mom was announcing that you were having a hot BBQ tonight in a cool, hip fashion. Didn't seem too bad of a deal to me.
My mom was sick and unable to get up from her chair one time. I was sitting in the same room on a game on my laptop. Just an MMORPG a game I could easily get up and move. She grabbed the house phone and called my brother's cell phone. He was upstairs in his room. She asked him to come downstairs. He came downstairs. She asked him to get her some ice cream from the kitchen. I was RIGHT THERE, but she wanted to ask my brother JUST to bother him. Was hilarious.
Fleim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad used to tell me he doesn't like shouting so if he calls my name, I'm better off just coming downstairs to hear what he has to say
I can only imagine if someone named thier child hotbbqtonite
Mastadge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always gets mad at me when I try to talk to her from another room (read: living room -> kitchen, which are connected) and always tells me to come to the room she's in but then always tries to talk to me when she's in another room and gets mad if I don't stop what I'm doing to go to the room she's in to talk to her.
lousymom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:53 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh this shit is just mom's revenge. Because when we are in the bathroom, the kids scream at us over and over as if they are dying. We finally come running out after abbreviating a poo or s shower and the kid is like "do you know where my other ball is?"
God damn it, fucking THIS. Every. Fucking. Time. I hate this more than anything else, but my parents are overall awesome. I'm definitely glad I'm an adult and can appreciate my parents as people and friends.
g-breh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Parents do this on purpose, they call you and don't respond so that you have to go and talk to them, instead of shouting to them, failing to realise that they initially shouted at you first, destroying their logic of going to talk to someone.
Moral of the story, if you want to talk to someone but cannot be bothered to get up off your fat ass, shout at and then ignore someone until they come find you.
It gets better tho. Your parent is now old and hard of hearing. They start a conversation from the other side of the house. You have to go to them to respond but they start ambling about and they can't hear you.
Game is almost over, and it's online I can't pause. 5 more minutes.
NOW!!
proceeds to wait ten+ minutes for it to finish cooking
klethra ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:24:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God fucking dammit one of my clients does this to me. She'll throw a fucking temper tantrum if she even thinks you said "what?" Sample conversation from across the house:
Her: "Hey, Klethra."
Me: "What do you need?"
Her: [silence]
I walk over to her room.
Me: "What do you need?"
Her: "Oh, I thought you just said 'what?' I hate that ugly word."
I don't give a flying fuck what you thought you heard. If you're going to act like a child to me, I'm going to treat you like a child. If you have to tell me why I should respect you, you haven't earned my respect. I know you turned 72, and I don't care that your family bends over backwards to kiss your ass. I do my job, and that does not involve kowtowing to you.
Haha this reminds me of an occasion when I was in my room and my mom shouted "WHAT IS THIS?" to which I immediately answered "HOW CAN I KNOW, I'M NOT THERE TO SEE WHATEVER IT IS".
She seemingly materialized right in front of me and proceeded to smack me. And I deserved it, I know.
Oh yeah, mom is guilty of this. In fact, her doing this ("what is this?!" No idea, you're on the other side of a pretty dark room and my vision sucks, what does it look like? "WHAT IS THIS I DIDN'T PUT IT HERE?!" Still no clue, still can't see, please turn on a light so I can see or come closer?) is the cause of Christmas Tantrum 2014...
Hollering across the house is just aggravating and lazy in general. I mean, a "Dinner's ready" is fine, but when it happens every time they want something, that shit just gets ooooold.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:29:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother used to play a sick fucking game with me until I just stopped doing "my part" of the sick joke. She would have me do an errand around the house and when I go back downstairs to play video games she would wait until I was at the bottom step or just past it to go "oh and one more thing". I told her a few times don't wait until I'm at the bottom and she continued as if she didn't know. (Also, why ever ask if I want tomatoes on anything? I'm 27 and have declined them at a 100% rate. Think it'll change? Sorry unrelated) One day I just told her "too bad" when she wanted me to do something but waited until I had walked sufficiently far enough away
Must resist urge to set fire to EVERYTHING, and then ask her in your most cruel voice, whether the food is cooked now, with the the coldest smile you can manage, with the most amused glint in your eyes. She wants to be a fucking sociopath about it? Very well; I shall unleash all restraint on my psychopathy.
Yeah, my parents were a bit obsessive about not yelling in the house, so they had an intercom system set up around the house to use if we needed to get a hold of someone in another part of the house. Now I think they will text each other in the same house so they never yell.
I mean it definitely fostered a calm and safe household, but looking back it does seem a tiny bit excessive.
For this reason I just don't respond when people try to yell across the house to me. I'll quietly get up and walk to the room they are in to speak at normal volume because I'm not gonna sit and yell across the house for a normal conversation.
Mom: BUBBLEGUMLIZARD, WE NEED TO DISCUSS THIS VERY IMPORTANT THING.
BGL: WHAT ABOUT IT?
Mom: DON'T YOU DARE SHOUT IN THIS HOUSE. IF YOU NEED TO TALK TO ME, GET YOUR BUTT UP AND COME HERE.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or when they think you're giving them an attitude when you're genuinely not and they keep fucking insisting you are so you actually start giving them an attitude because it's annoying. Ugh.
Aatch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum does something similar.
Me (trying to get her attention): Mum
Her:...
Me: Mum
Her:...
Me: Mum!
Her:...
Me: MUM!
Her: You don't have to shout.
Me: Yes. Yes I do...
ncurry18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom does shit like this. I've since moved out, but I occassionally go over to my mom and dads to have dinner/help with something/just hang out. I'll be in the same room as my mother but the second I leave she will say "come here." This is always directly after telling her I'm leaving. I get that she doesn't want me to leave, but damn if you want to talk about something, why not talk to me when I'm actually in the same room.
Just a few weeks ago, my mother had checked some food I had cooking for me, and she says, "Your food looks ready."
Having timed it, and literally being ten seconds from going to dish it up myself, I said, "I know."
She raises her voice a bit. "...Zentopian, your food's ready."
Didn't I speak loudly enough? So I raise my voice a bit. "I know. Hold on."
"...ZENTOPIAN, YOUR FOOD'S-"
"I KNOW!! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT?"
"Don't fucking yell at me! What the fuck's wrong with you?! What did I do wrong?!"
I wasn't even quiet when I spoke the first time. I 110% know she should have been able to hear me the second time, because I never talk that loud when that far away from her, and she hears me fine every other time.
I'd also like to point out that, when I was a kid, if I didn't get any kind of reaction out of her about something I said, I'd assumed she didn't hear me, and repeat myself. After the second or third repetition, she would lose her shit and yell at me as if I'd just committed some horrible act against her, and go on to cuss to herself about it for a good five minutes while I'm still in earshot. She deserved to get yelled at like that. A good taste of her own medicine.
Joald ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:59:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, I thought you were very poor and had to eat throwaways. Meanwhile it's just your username. Maybe use 'anon' next time, regardless of how 4chany it feels.
ZPrime ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:47:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One day my mother pissed me off, and she yelled for me to come to some other room the house so she could scream at me some more.
I just didn't bother going to her. Eventually she storms into my room and screams "DID YOU NOT HEAR ME CALLING YOU" in that angry sarcastic manner that she was honestly too proficient in.
13 year old me had a fucking lightbulb light up at that instant. I shouted back at her "I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING DOG, AND I WONT BE SUMMONED LIKE ONE! I'M A HUMAN BEING, AND IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME THEN YOU BETTER FUCKING COME TALK TO ME LIKE PERSON". She was so taken aback by the realization it looked like an invisible fist punched her in the face. A major shouting match ensued but she never once again tried to summon me by shouting my name.
That was the single best comeback I've ever had, it's not even that amazing, but honestly I'm not overly good with witty retorts. But fuck I wish I could give relationship changing comebacks on the regular.
Me too, but from Team Mom. When I make a dinner, it is legitimately upsetting that "dinner is almost ready" seems to mean "oh, please start a menial task that takes just enough time for dinner to get cold". No, I'm telling you that it's ready even if it's just almost ready.
Team mom here. If I wait till dinner is ready, it sits there on the table getting cold while everyone takes their sweet ass time coming. So yeah, I yell "Dinner's ready!" when there's still a few minutes left so I don't sit there staring at the food for a while until everyone decides to make an appearance. I also usually give them a heads up like "Hey, it'll be ready soon so don't start something new." I mean, god forbid they're not entertained for every second I'm in the kitchen making them food.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:32:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I get angry when I make dinner and motherfuckers never show up and then it's cold and they bitch and complain. So come to the table when I fucking say, because dinner is ready when I say, even that means no food is on the table yet.
Also, wash your hands what the fuck is wrong with you.
jhoff96 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:04:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got hangry reading this
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well shit. Didn't even think about reading this from the kid's side. Ugh, I'm definitely a mom and now I feel old.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good on you for taking care of your kid. Kids naturally tend to be ungrateful because they can't empathize well.
I'm 28, my mother is 67, and when I go to visit her and have dinner this still happens.
headbus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:57:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to think the same, but seriously - your parents make you dinner and we used to get angry because they call us down to eat it 5 minutes too early...
Help your mother out once in a while instead of being in your room while she prepares and cooks everything. Then youll know when dinners ready because you'd have helped out.
Bet you're the type to run back upstairs as soon as you finish your plate as well.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:14:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be in my early teens. The great thing is that most people actually grow out of it.
Try telling that to a middle school kid whose video games are in his room. Though by high school, I just kinda shifted to the tv by the kitchen, and that worked out
Sudden flashbacks just came rushing through my head from when I played WoW in highschool and left a raid or something to come eat only for it not to be ready for another 20-30 mins.
Shit was dank though, at least my mom was an incredible cook.
So , let's get this straight:. You get meals made for you, presumably you're not helping to make it. Then you get pissed because you were torn away from a video game/YouTube vid about video game/masturbating in between video games, and DINNER IS STILL 5 MINS AWAY?!?
You had it rough, man. All the beatdowns I got pale in comparison.
keitarno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How's it like being 12?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sweet. Barely any homework and plenty of time to up my KD ratio on CoD.
Your mother took the time to make you dinner (which probably took more than 5 minutes) and she wanted you to be at the table 5 minutes before she served it, probably so she didn't have to wait for your ass and so everyone could eat it while it's hot... and this... made you angry?
Your mom's not your fucking servant, show some respect by at least being at the table early if you can't help her out.
I hated my siblings for this so fucking much, I actually fought with them. I'd always go and try to help my mom. Not that I was every helpful in any way, I just found it profoundly disrespectful to just sit and wait for food.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:31:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you
cmckone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:10:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
did she give you good BJs too?
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 16:03:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It means you should set the table and help your mom, asshole.
Jesus Christ, kids on Reddit are spoiled. I wish someone would cook an entire meal for me and all I had to do was sit at the table 5 minutes early for it.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:16:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Yes, saying that someone who complains about getting a cooked family meal and all they have to do is, literally, show up and that's too much is spoiled is the same thing as saying I'm perfect.
Seriously, this is the like the biggest first world problem I've ever heard. In a world where kids are abandoned by their parents, grow up in abject poverty, are working in sweatshops before they're a decade old, or just die of malnutrition, that the idea of showing up five minutes early for a fully cooked meal with a loving family is somehow a burden is quite honestly one of the most absurd things I've ever read in my entire life. No exaggeration.
But then again I work for a hunger relief non-profit, so this is something I probably spend more time thinking about than most.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:34:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No shit it's a first world problem. Kind of like how someone will get mad that their house is so big they can't connect to WiFi from the kitchen or something. Are they ACTUALLY mad they have a big house? No. You get mad for a second and realize you're complaining about something good. That's how my comment was supposed to be taken, but high and mighty people like you have to take everything literally. I'm sorry I wasn't more grateful as a kid. Are you happy now?
Also, btw, I did not single out you specifically. I didn't mean it to be like a direct insult to you. More it was such a flippant, off-hand response (which I saw no implied irony in, but if you meant it to be there, okay I guess) with so many upvotes. It just made me think, man, there are thousands of kids out there that actually empathize with this statement? That's kind of sad.
Also it really just plays into the sterotypes about Redditers as spoiled, entitled young people, which I honestly always thought was a bit unfair, but that made me really kind of rethink that. So that jumped out at me.
Anyway, I saw in your post history that you just turned 18, so yeah, I kind of get it. I was pretty insufferable too at that age probably. Again, not that you're personally insufferable. You're probably not! I understand it was just an off-hand joke.
So basically, no harm intended, and I didn't mean for it to come off as personal, more a commentary on the demographics of Reddit than anything.
Now, you should go thank your mom and dad for all those meals. :-D
Living on my own now,I sometimes think how much nicer being a kid was, but threads like these remind me it wasn't always great. Kids deal with a lot of small annoyances that stack up. Compared to my days these days, I've either got work or free time.
kleep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahhahahahaha. Wait... what? You cannot be serious.
Uh, dad here, and I'm guilty as fuck of doing that. Hey, if they want warm food they need to get their asses to the kitchen, and they usually stall. So I have them come in 5 mins early and make drinks and all
Edit: Except for last night. I made dinner and got everything ready like a freakin maid. Id rather that than my wife have to do it.
Not saying this is true for you and your family, but I personally started stalling because I knew that it wasn't ready if I went to the kitchen immediately.
Right, and I totally get that. But mine are so busy playing with each other like a pack of wolves, that they don't even want to stop to eat half the time. So, instead of fussing, I start giving them notifications like 15 mins out. Then at the 5 min mark, they should already have their end of the bargain done.
You see, the way around this is to make family dinner really late - my mum sometimes doesn't even start cooking until 7/8 in the evening so all of us are starving by the time its ready. No chance anyone will stall in this situation.
I should say that she doesn't necessarily do this on purpose, its just become a habit due to not wanting to do anything after dinner. But hey, it makes us love our food even more when we're starving
No DOUBT. We ate late as kids too. Usually due to my dad having to consume at least 15 beers while he cooked. lol
So trust me, I know what you mean about the starving part. It's a mind game. As an adult, I hate late dinners. I'm cooking at like 5:15 to get it ready for 6-6:30.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:51:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha nice. I asked him one time, how many beers have you had. He smiled, and said 22. It was like a random Tuesday night or some shit. But the man was up at 4:30 am every day. They don't make em like they used to for sure
But it's like any other time a person reminisces about a family member. They're always wayyyy cooler after the fact. I found it annoying to have a drunk dad. But the shit he taught me about life is the only way I can make it as an adult. lol
This guy was drinking Budweiser. Aka Bud Heavy aka The Diesel. To this day I don't understand how he wasn't bloated AF. If I drink 3 beers of any kind I'm super full. That's why I love the bourbon.
I'm exactly the same - I still live at home as I'm only 18 but if I'm cooking for anyone, or just myself I will literally start as soon as I get home, sometimes to my mum's great distaste as I have to pull her away from whatever she was doing because she didn't expect dinner so early.
It may be a taste thing, but late dinners are a fucking drag man. Eat and go to bed soon after? I don't think so. Glad you're cooking at 18. That's a cool thing to do that may become a lost art someday
Yeah I agree on both fronts. I got into simple cooking just as a necessity as my parents wouldn't cook or anything if they were to go out in the evening. I also work in a bar doing late shifts starting at like 5/6 so I generally cook for myself as the family would eat later in the evening.
And besides, I got the hang of cooking simply by sitting in the kitchen when my mum cooked, if gel every so often and she would explain weird tricks about how to make stuff taste nice and why you do certain things to certain foods. There was also a tv to watch when the cooking wasn't entirely interesting, its not like anyone's in the kitchen just to cook, we hang out there during the day so it's just second nature to help out.
Hopefully I'll do the same with my kids, cooking is such a necessity I can't fathom how people get away with not learning simple dishes (pasta, beans on toast, anything from the freezer and chips) just to get by until they leave home. I've had friends who barely knew how to make a good toastie or sandwich because their mum always their cooked lunch.
See I wish my house was like that. A kitchen to spend time in besides eating. My grandmothers house was always packed full of people mainly at the kitchen. So that's a cool memory you just reminded me of.
My family now hangs out in the living room, but I do enjoy getting the kids involved in the cooking to pass that stuff down like your mum did. And especially if a person enjoys cooking, they can pass it along in a positive light as opposed to a chore.
I used to like late dinners. Now I'm starving by 5:30 and if I don't eat by about 6:15, I am not very pleasant to be around. I can't imagine waiting until 8 or 8:30 to eat like I used to.
Doesn't work with really young kids. My kids are in bed by around 6:30/7 most nights. They get exhausted. If I wait they are hungry, but too tired to eat and if they fall asleep without eating they will wake up at 11pm, want to eat and then fight going back to sleep. Dinner has to be when they are still functioning.
I now just realised my brothers and i are the same "pack of wolves" thing.... either were wrestling until one of us gets hurt or playing with our wolf hybrid before dinner....
I've used that reference to teach my kids a lesson when one of them wants special treatment. I tell them, myself and the other kids in my family were raised as a group. We NEVER got any preferential treatment, special consideration and had to share everything. That's the one thing about our upbringing that had the most impact imo.
I wish I had the tact to use that as an example. I'm uneducated, but not dumb. I try sooo hard to find analogies that they'll understand and relate to, but a lot of mine are likely too simple for kids and their ways of thinking nowadays.
Hey at least you have the mental ability to know your own shortcomings and reshape the way you spin your words to account for it. Many people have issues admitting their faults. For its easier to ignore than it is to face head on and deal with.
Yeah that's a legitimate problem with me and my friends. If we're supposed to meet at 8, I know damn well they won't be there at 8. Unless they're saying 8 because they're planning for 7 and said 8 so I'm not waiting around. Or are they saying 8 because they know I'm not planning on showing up at 8 since I don't think they'll be ready so they're saying 8 so that I'm there at 830 when we'll all be ready.
This, and plus freshly made food is never -just right - it's always too hot. Might as well stall while it cools off instead of sitting at a table staring at the food im waiting to eat while it cools off.
I'm puzzled by the notion of expecting dinner the second you're called to the kitchen, anyway. As a kid I knew my job was setting the table, getting drinks, etc. Usually by the time I was done with that, we would eat.
This is yet another thing that gets me with mine. I have said multiple times to the last straggler to come wandering up to the table. Exactly what you're saying. They can't just show up at the table and plop down and expect to be fed. They make drinks, get played and silver wear. And we rotate the cleanup duty among each of us per night.
I hope my future kids turn out like you. I'm getting cold sweats thinking about dealing with a little shit who won't even help set the table after I've spent so much time making dinner.
Yeah, I know. But I don't want to be naive enough to think well if I'm a great parent my kids will automatically be great. Rowdiness and defiance is basically the norm for teens and you never know what kind of behavioural influence they'll be getting from school. Even if they grow out of it eventually and learn their manners the thought of dealing with those years makes me rethink having kids.
Also Dad here. I make dinner 95% of the time as I get off work earlier and I'll be damned if nobody is at the table when it's served. I just spent 1-2 hours cooking and you're going to experience the meal as I intended in all it's deliciousness. Truth be told, my kids are always "starving" and waiting for hot food.
Primary cook in the house here... granted my kid is only 2... but I usually yell to my wife that dinner's ready, simply because I want help dishing it up. The food is ready. Sure, it isn't plated... I only have so many hands.
audigex ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:14:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The other way round teaches them better time planning, I think
"Food will be ready in 5 minutes" 5 mins before the food is ready
"Dinner's ready" when the food is ready.
If you dawdle that's your problem, you had a 5 minute warning.
For instance, last night I explained to my daughter who is 12, how I calculate when to start dinner based off of EST cook times, to get the desired eating time. With a busy family, sometimes we have a small window to try to eat because of so many activities.
Ugh. A few weeks ago I prepared an impressive meal of brisket, salad, garlic mashed potatoes, and grilled asparagus. In- laws were in town helping out so I thought I'd make a nice meal.
Alright, food is ready, I call everyone for dinner. Nothing
Sides are scooped into serving dishes and placed on the table, I call for dinner. Nothing.
Brisket is sliced and plated, since you fuckers aren't here I take all the burnt ends. I call for dinner. Nothing.
I plate up everyone and make a special shake for the munchkin, why the hell not. I call for dinner, still nothing.
Fuck these guys, I eat. I've worked all day on this fucking meal. MIL comes in and calls me rude. I just about lost my shit.
That's the most discouraging possibility for a meal. If the kids get mad, I know what to tell them. But MIL? Oh no ya don't. If she called me to the carpet, I'd be screwed. So between the in laws and your SO, none of them realized that it was their fault? This story gave me instant anxiety. Haha
I let my MIL pass as nothing good could come from a confrontation and they were there doing me and mine a huge solid anyways.
I did tell my wife later that I didn't appreciate her not backing me up, or offering at any point to help with this 4 course meal I was preparing for 5 people.
The solution is to say "Dinner will always be ready and on the table between 6:00 to 6:45. If you are not here to get the food when its on the table, you can do without." As well, you should spend time trying to teach the kids how to cook. It's one of the biggest things children never learn before leaving home, and eventually they only eat fast food or microwave ready meals during college. Take some time to encourage kitchen food prep. It makes a very big difference, as well prepares them with a skillset that they will need when they start courting for their future love life.
When I was young and we still had dinner together, I would stall the shit out of my parents precisely because I knew dinner wouldn't be ready by the time I got down there.
I'd be happy to pause my game or bookmark my spot in a book if dinner was actually ready, but it wasn't so I would just wait until they screamed at me like 5x to get my ass downstairs and even then it wouldn't always be prepared to be put on a plate.
For my wife, I can see that being the case. shes an amazing cook. But she usually skids to the finish line on two wheels with her hair on fire.
When I cook soymething that I've cooked before, I usually cook and clean and keep busy the whole way thru until dinner is served at about the time I was shooting for, and the kitchen is clean as well. Not bragging, it's just the only way I can prepare a meal. Can't have mess and trash and dishes piled up.
For instance, last night I told them 6:30. It was 6:21 or so and we sat down. So shooting for a certain time does help my cause. And I'm glad my kids see a man in the kitchen and hopefully they'll learn that it's not just a woman's responsibility.
No. But my 15 yr old has asked me on repeated occasions if I wanted him to make me a drink. I just drink bourbon on the rocks now. So there's nothing to make. But I enjoy making it too much anyways. My dogs jump up EVERY time I make one to beg for ice. lol
Damnnnn. I knew I was lucky when she did her first MacGuyver in the kitchen and made something from nothing. But I haven't truly thought how it would suck if she couldn't cook.
No she's an awesome cook. And I'm definitely not the best husband ever. I just try to make up for my shortcomings whenever I can. I have just never been a fan of someone doing stuff for me. Unless I come in 3 hrs later then the rest of the house, in that case she can have at it. lol
Kids 9 and we tend to make his plate still but well tell him dinners almost ready while we prepare his plate
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I understand that for kids. But my parents still do that to me and my older brothers, when we get together, and I'm almost 30. Now we have turned the tables and intentionally stall for even longer.
I never knew it was such a battle of wills. When I was a kid, my immediate family never ever sat down together. So I Dunno about the idea of being called to the table from a kids standpoint. But as a parent, we sit together every meal without fail
Lol maybe I'm mean as hell. But I don't care if their food gets cold before they eat it because of their decisions. Life choices. Fortunately for them, we have a microwave.
You're not mean, that's great. I wish my parents would have been ok with me being 5 minutes late and the food "getting cold" (protip: unless the dining room is a walk-in freezer, it'll still be warm).
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:37:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
is your wife shit at cooking or are you trying to be some sjw?
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:29:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
15 minutes later.
Kid: Where's the food?
Mom: I said in 5 MINUTES!!!!
amidoes ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:47:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
GOD FUCKING DAMNIT. I'm 21 and I still fall for this today
My mom learned to tell us when food was actually ready, because my dad, brother and I would just not go out to the kitchen until food was already cold and she ate by herself because of it. Don't say foods done and say oh it'll be done in 10 minutes.
Mattxy8 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:50:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I stopped going to the table until I was at a place I could stop in game. I think "you can't pause online games" was the most said phrase of my youth.
There's also nothing stopping you from speaking directly to your kids instead of lying to them. But fuck me for expecting parents to at least attempt to foster some mutual respect.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Are you really using the "They did it so it's okay for me to do it" line? You're supposed to be the role model! God damn do I feel sorry for anyone with misfortune to be your kid.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:17:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
It's funny you assume I'm a mom when in reality I am a guy who made this comment as a son who respects the hell of what my mom did for her children and thinks it's so petty and unrespectful to bitch about a detail when the big picture is that she takes all this time to do things so you don't have to. You'll realize that once you're old enough to live on your own and have to do them. Unless you'll be that kid who still brings his laundry to his mom. I'm sorry for your mom, but I'm sure maturity will eventually do some good on you.
Spoken like someone that has never had to raise kids of their own. I'm glad that you have so much respect for your mother, but you need to pull off the fucking blinders if you ever want to take care of kids of your own.
Your mom screwed up. She did some things wrong. Multiple times. If you think she never did, you're being willfully ignorant. She's human, not some perfect infallible angel. I guarantee you know how she screwed up too, which is why you're getting your panties in such a bunch over this.
If you can't respect your mom while realizing that her lying to you for petty bullshit is wrong, you don't respect her. You just worship some made-up narcissistic idol named "Mom" like an angry toddler. You worship her because she didn't let you starve to death as though that's some saintly miracle and not the least fucking thing she could do for you. If that's the reason you think your mom deserves respect, I feel sorry for you because you were denied actual love and care that went beyond the bare minimum legal duty.
Yeah, how fucking terrible that someone has to pause a video game and not be entertained for 5 minutes while another human being cooks food and serves it to them. Is it annoying? Yes. You know what else is annoying? Everything that comes with taking care of a child/ teen.
Don't bother. People like him are so insecure in their feelings about their mom they go fucking insane when anyone dares suggest something their mom did was anything less than award-winning.
I mean... if that was the intention, sure. My mom was just terrible at estimating how long it would take to finish dinner. By, like, 50-100%. If she said dinner would be ready in half an hour, it would be 45 minutes to an hour. Every single time.
I mean, her cooking was worth the wait, but there's only so long you can sit around after setting the table before you have to admit that maybe you should have waited a little longer before calling us. Five minutes is one thing, an hour is something else entirely, and it's not an exaggeration to say that she was off by an hour sometimes.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:38:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had the opposite experience. "I'll have dinner ready when you get here." I show up. She hasn't even started. I'm an adult now and my mom still does this to me for when I go to visit. Dinner was NEVER ready for when I got home. For my Dad though, dinner was always ready for when he wanted it.
CRISPR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother is 80 and my kid is grown up man, yet that is exactly the conversation I am having every morning.
This is pretty fucking stupid and it really annoys me actually. Your mum calls you down 5 minutes early, so fucking what? Ask if she needs help, lay the table, get shit ready, make a drink etc. In my opinion it's so fucking rude to come downstairs for 5 minutes, eat what your mum has been cooking for the past hour and then fuck off back to your room. Even worse if you grab it off the side and take it with you.
If she wants help, she can just say so. If she starts by lying to me, that's not going to make me eager to help her.
Roupert ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:24:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever made a meal for family? Timing a meal isn't easy. Anybody can cook a meal, but getting it all ready at the same time so that things stay hot is hard. I've been cooking meals every night for my family for 3 years and it's still hard to not have cold food at the table.
Heablz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:14:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lied to? Another human being is literally supporting you. Calling you down 5 minutes early to make sure you aren't fucking around in your room hardly seems like "lying"
I understand the joke of this whole post, but come the fuck on. So ungrateful.
SinkTube ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you own a dictionary? It's literally lying. Look it up.
Heablz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unreal haha
SinkTube ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lie:
1: to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive
2: to create a false or misleading impression
Tell me, how is saying dinner's ready when it's not, in order to get you to falsely think it's ready, anything but a lie?
Yeah, sure as hell beats cooking your own crap and then spend 10 min trying to find something good on youtube while everything is getting cold.
I miss John Stewart. :(
xia976 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:05:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wish my mum would have let me cook all the time, so much quicker and less dishes. It seemed like the more I washed up the more things she would use. Oh and none of that idling pointlessly for 5 minutes business.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Out of all the families with young kids I know, a vast majority of them eat at the table together. And I was really commenting on the "Dinner is ready, you come to the table, mom says: it will actually be about 5 minutes, will you set the table for me." Which was and still is a regular occurrence when I am eating at my parents houses.
I never said it wasn't relevant, if you actually used your eyes and read my responses you would know if said most children eat their food in their rooms, not at the table. Retard.
Now you're just saying random things, we aren't talking about mothers lying to their kids, we are talking about how most people don't sit at the table, people under the age of 9 usually do so there is no reason to include them. Do you understand it now you moron?
I don't care if calling you a retard or a moron (which you are) makes me look desperate and wrong, because I'm not, and I'm right.
This thread is about mothers lying to their children. I said mothers lying to kids to get them to set the table before dinner happens, you said it doesn't because kids under 9 don't count.
Please explain to me how this conversation went from your perspective, because it seems to be changing with every post to me.
BlLE ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:48:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's just weird. Like, what prompted him to start arguing that? Haha
"So my girlfriend went to Starbucks with her girl friends and while they were getting their coffee--"
"uhhhhhhhh... Not everyone gets coffee at Starbucks. I know like only three people who get coffee at Starbucks. Most people get Frappuccinos."
fadasd1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:51:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god stuff like this made me quit going to the dinner table.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Triggered*
This happened basically every night when I was a little kid.
Either you are still a little kid or you really are ungrateful.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:05:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was a joke, jeeze. It just was common occurance for us to be called down for dinner "right now", but "dinner's ready in 10 minutes" when we get downstairs. I'm just asking for some consistency.
The_Fad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a dad, Mom's do that because ya'll motherfuckers never listen to first time and even when you do it takes 10,000 years usually for you to actually crawl your way to the kitchen and/or dining room.
Kids don't listen. Easily the most stressful part of parenting for me.
But that's because I'll tell him when I have dinner on the table and he'll come out 1/2 hour later and bitch that it's cold. Then I started telling him right before I put it all on plates so that it's fresh and warm still when he gets to the table. Of course those are the times he actually gets to the table when I ask him to
I have a workshop in a barn where I often go to hack stuff. This still happens with my family. I'll get a text "dinner's ready", I drop what I'm doing, come home, and wait half an hour.
We have gotten into the habit of telling our kids about five minutes before food is ready (at which point we can start plating and stuff) that it's time to extricate themselves from whatever entertainment they are in. For one, they have dinner-time jobs (the big one gets water for everyone; the little one gets utensils); but for another, otherwise, we will all be AT THE TABLE and hearing "The game is aaaaaalmost over..."
Holy shit I come from a South asian family so I thought I was the only one. Hell even when I calm home as I step onto the bus which takes me 15 mins to get home- the food still is not ready when I enter the home.
I'm guilty of this, but I actually do it on purpose. I find it incredibly rude that I should be required to make dinner, set the table, pour drinks, dish out plates, feed the baby while I eat, then have to clean up after. So now I call everyone early and then ask them to help. It's a lot less stressful for me.
Do kids no longer have to set the dinner table or help prepare the meal? My mom would have had a fit if we asked her where dinner was and we didn't help out.
snuff3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair to us parents, that "ready" has a calculated 5 min wait time built into because we expect 5 mins of backchat and argument.
But yes. "You will sit on your ass and patiently wait while i dish up" is how it works in our house lol.
koobear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then ...
Kid: Then why did you have me come 5 minutes early?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The worst is when they say it's ready, but it's fresh from the oven and still at about 1000 degrees kelvin and I have to wait 10 minutes for it to cool
ChriosM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife does this to me now. I started waiting 3 minutes or so to get off my computer and she's just putting it on plates when I do come out. One time not that long ago I was starving when she shouted it was ready so I got up straight away to go get it and then had to stand there with the dogs, watching her finish making dinner. I asked why she always says it's ready before it is and she said it's because I don't come out right away when she calls. But I started waiting to come out because it wasn't ready in the first place!
I can now relate to parents doing this. I do it to my fiancee. She takes forever to come to the table and I gave a lot of effort to make sure everything finished cooking at the same time so that it's all hot and fresh. You can wait 2 minutes every once in a while. I just spent 45 cooking.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe parents like it when kids help set up the table.
Being in the position of having to call someone down for dinner every night, I actually always tell them five minutes when it's actually ten, because my father in law is blind and doesn't realize how long he takes to do stuff.
j0y0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She just wanted to finish dinner without chasing you around the house stopping you from breaking shit or messing with your siblings while the casserole burns. Give your mom a break man, she's your mom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SONOFABITCH
bl1y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Brother: Dinner's ready.
Me: Capital! goes to kitchen, no dinner. Brother has said dinner is ready.
Mom: It's not.
Brother has taken the game I was playing, the cad!
Next day...
Brother: Dinner is ready.
Me: I'm not falling for that rouse again, scoundrel.
Time passes.
Mom: BROTHER TOLD YOU DINNER WAS READY YOU SHIT!
Me: I ignored him because he is an unreliable messenger, and informed you of this not but four and twenty hours ago.
My mom still does it, when I visit her these days. One thing I learnet is I'd say: "I'm coming!" - and then wait for 5mins. Next time she will call when it's actually ready.
G3RTY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck yes
Im tired of being the first one at dinner. My virtuousness is rewarded with wasted time for being naive . Fuck that
Treas0n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
MOM MEATLOAF! what is she doing back there?
evanoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In mom's defense, there's nothing more infuriating as a chef than fresh food getting cold
rjop377 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because heaven fucking forbid that you, a free loading child, not come down with dinner perfectly on the fucking table, no thanks to you or anything you did.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now set the table.
scw55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Preebos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who does the cooking, there's a reason for this. If you wait until dinner is on the table to call others in, by the time they arrive the food will be getting cold. I'd rather have everyone already present when the food finishes cooking so that it can be enjoyed in its freshest state.
That's how i missed the last five minutes of every Star Trek episode.
X_Spyre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:53 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is so fucking accurate
ddlo92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The first time i complained about this my dad said "when we call you down for dinner, we want you to help serve. Don't just expect it to be already on the table for you."
Not a mom, but I had to start lying to my partner about dinner being ready. When I say "dinner's ready" he takes that time to go get a glass of iced tea, clean up stuff around the kitchen or dining room, take a shit, whatever. I used to "dinner's ready" him when dinner was ready, and then I'd be sitting there waiting for him while it got cold. Now I give a buffer, no shame.
It makes me irrationally angry when people don't sit down to dinner when I tell them dinner is ready.
Managing the cook time of everything so that it all comes out hot and ready at the same time is really fucking hard. So when you manage to do that and then you plate everything and it's ready to go, it feels like a gut punch when people take like 5-10 minutes to get their ass to the table. Realistically, I understand that it doesn't make a huge difference. Especially to someone like my husband who doesn't particularly care if something isn't as hot or crispy as when it's first served. He doesn't mind even a little bit, so I know in my head that I shouldn't care that much either. But fuuuuuck, I start to internally rage when the minutes are passing by and the food is just sitting there.
I make breakfast for my girlfriend often and she will be doing something for FIVE MINUTES while the eggs I made for her get cold. Cold eggs make my stomach turn but she couldn't care less. Oh my god. Maddening. I made sure your toast and bacon and eggs all are hot and buttered and plated together and salt and cholula and silverware is on the table all you have to do is get your coffee oh my god our love languages are so not compatible right now
I know this will come off as sarcastic, but that's not the intent, I promise. When people do this with their partners (and I do too; I think pretty much everyone does), you're basically saying:
I did something for you that I care a great deal about, why don't you care as much about it as I do?
It's amazing how much you can change the conversation when you're willing to realize that. "Hey, I know you don't care that your eggs and stuff get cold. It's really important to me that I eat hot food, and it's really important to me that we eat together. I know you don't mean to, but it makes me feel lonely when you don't want to join me right away." <- it goes a long way.
I know, isn't it incredible! She and I have this awesome, open, honest relationship where we talk about stuff like that all the time. That was not how I was raised and so when we first started dating I literally would think to myself, "How would cheesy relationship advice columns say to phrase this" and over time it got so much more natural. We've had this conversation once or twice, casually, about how its this thing I put effort into and it hurts because her saying she appreciates the gesture doesn't feel the same as what I would perceive to be actually appreciating the gesture, ie, eating the hot food. She has gotten better about eating right away, and I usually ask her "will you be ready to eat in 3 minutes?" And if not I don't start the eggs yet. And having clarity about what I'm feeling helps me move on when me mess those things up and her food ends up sitting.
God damn, we have an awe some fucking relationship. The way we talk and communicate together is just like... I honestly didn't know that was a thing. It's so amazing. I don't think we're gonna get married (right person, wrong time) but god DAMN are we each gonna have hight standards for future partners at relatively young ages.
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 21:07:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's definitely making me nervous, and something that has come up before. I'm very young and never really had any time truly out on my own in the world, whereas she's at least had a few years to herself. I don't think I'd be satisfied marrying her without having some time to move away and work on my own goals. And we're still early enough in the relationship where we're still seeing if our forms of crazy are compatible or just unhealthy, and if each of our relationship needs are compatible. But god damn, is it scary to think of letting go of such a good, kind, person I respect and get along so well with. It's definitely come up several times that maybe we'll spit for a while then hook back up in a few years, which I've seen work out with some people but is not really something you can plan on.
MyPacman ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:24:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Work on your own goals now. You don't have to be alone to do that.
More often than not that whole "let me live free for awhile then hook back up" thing doesn't work out. I wouldn't advise you one way or another whether you should stick with it cause I don't believe in having only one "true" love. The world's big with alot of people in it but when you find those people who mesh with you (rare for me) don't treat it lightly whatever path you decide to take.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:53 on August 18, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I apprecise your reply, thank you for your perspective. Yeah, it's definitely concerning that I could be throwing away an amazing relationship, but I just don't think she's the love of my life, fortunately/ unfortunately. I'm hoping to enjoy this relationship while we're in it and take those skills and standards to the next stage.
I like this, being open with your partner about your intentions. Such as when certain things mean so much to you, and your partner doesn't understand. My husband and I have had this conversation about a few of these kinds of things; both of us have had things that are important to one of us whilst the other didn't understand until we talked it over.
Even if it's something that matters little to me, I'll go out of my way to do something a certain way or whatever it is simply because it's something that matters to him. It's just another way to show him that I love him and that his opinions and beliefs are important to me, if not for any other reason than that they are his. Soon, these kinds of things become important to both of us, and sometimes turn into little family traditions.
I'll go out of my way to do something a certain way or whatever it is simply because it's something that matters to him.
...
He, of course, does the same for me.
This symmetry is important too, thanks for highlighting it. If one person is good at making reasonable behavior changes to accommodate the other, but it doesn't go in reverse, it can easily breed bitterness.
My boyfriend doesn't understand that idc where I eat, the couch, standing up at the counter, in the car so long as I eat. He was raised to always sit at the dinner table and we're both trying to figure this out. It's been a pain lol
It's those little things that are actually the hardest in relationships, because they represent different values. The best advice I ever got was to find these things, and sit down and figure out why it matters to you. And once you do, figure out why it matters to your partner.
If you really don't care, but your partner does, then it's an opportunity to do something for your partner. If you really care but your partner doesn't, it's their opportunity to do something for you. If you both really care, and you both take time to understand why you each care so much and why the other does, you can often find a solution.
For example, maybe your boyfriend really thinks it's important because eating dinner at the table together is a sign that people find the relationships important, and if you don't want to do that it makes him feel judged. (Just an example, I obviously don't know him). He may not even be aware of that--most of us aren't aware of why we value things until we are willing to sit down and figure it out.
I'd refuse to cook for someone who wanted to cover every single thing in ketchup or ranch dressing. Because I love to cook and am adventurous about eating I refuse to date girls with alot of food hangups. It truly is limiting your restaurant and home food options.
Yeah, like I said, I know my husband doesn't care. Which is why I try my best not to say anything or make it a big deal. But just looking at the plate just sitting there just makes me angry. I can't stop feeling angry, even though logically I understand that everything is fine, no one is dying, it's just a plate sitting there. But it really is a huge pet peeve of mine. Husband knows this and does his best to acknowledge that.
eek04 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:56:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife (A) finds it horrible to wait at the table, so she gets angry if I call her before the food is on the table, and (B) takes a while to come when I tell her the food is on the table. I feel your pain.
Funnily enough it makes me irrationally angry when people get angry over this without giving a 5 minute warning or saying dinners going to be at this time.
I don't know about other people, but I do give a "heads up, dinner is almost ready!" Because once everything is ready, there's still a couple minutes to plate the food. Once the food is plated and brought out to the table, I feel like it's only respectful to the person having done the cooking not to spend more time tinkering on the phone or watching TV. When I make food for my husband and I know he's working or on the phone with his mom or something, then I just leave his plate covered for him and he gets to it when he gets to it and it's not a big deal at all. It's only when I'm at the dinner table with the food all ready to go and he's still playing video games or browsing on reddit for an extra 10 minutes, it's definitely annoying. Like c'mon, that can't be that important that you're gonna make me sit here with the food I spent an hour cooking getting cold.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Half of the things my mom makes, I have to excuse myself from the table for a while because it's too hot. "Mom, that looks delicious! Thank you! I'll eat it in a little bit."
I'm a 42 year old man and my only son is 18 now but I still do the same thing to adults. Cooking is both a hobby and a necessity to me so I truly put alot of work and love into cooking amazing dinners quite often. Hell, it's a Tuesday night and I shopped and came home to pound chicken and make a beautiful piccata with veggies from my garden. Nothing irks me more having made a beautiful dinner and people are lazy about showing up for it the moment I'm ready to allow them to dig in. Maybe i'm a touch anal about it but I know I'd respect someone else if they put that amount of work in all the damn time so family could eat well above average healthy and well prepared meals.
Of course it makes you angry! You put in that extra effort to make sure it's hot and crispy and extra-yummy, and he's told you he literally doesn't care if it's the right temp or crispiness. I'd be tempted to skimp on things if that were the case with my husband and I, but I love making great food for the people I love, and I bet you do, too!
Just start eating instead. If he wants it cold that's his problem.
Bazoun ยท 105 points ยท Posted at 18:23:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to do this with my ex. It was infuriating. He'd watch me cook. I'd tell him everything is almost ready. No movement. Less than 5 minutes. No movement. Turn off stove. No movement. Plate food. No movement. Bring food to table. Well! Off to the bathroom for 20 minutes.
I was raised that you don't eat until everyone is seated. It took years but finally I told him if he wanted to eat cold food that was his problem.
Once I refused to let my food get cold? Suddenly he managed to get to the table on time.
UGH! The bathroom! My bf does this everytime we leave the house. I tell him when we're leaving, give him notices, get my shoes on waiting by the door, leaving the exact right amount of time to get there... "oh, I just need to go to the bathroom".
FUUUUCK! You knew... you knew this whole time and NOW, when we're putting our shoes on is when you decide to take a shit. Fuck, it drives me absolutely insane.
Bazoun ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:19:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now that I'm out of this relationship, and I think back to how often he made things needlessly difficult, I think I'd have zero patience if I was exposed to this again. My gut reaction to your post is to leave without him. Let him wonder what the fuck happened when he gets out of the bathroom and to be upset etc. I feel like if I had stopped his shenanigans early on, our relationship would have either ended before marriage or we could have made it. There were just so many childish things that tore us apart as a couple.
I get that you likely want to be in this relationship and I'm not saying the above is the healthy, adult way of dealing with these behaviours. Au contraire. What I WILL say is that whatever the fuck he's doing now will only get worse as time goes on. If he's pulling this shit now, either put a stop to it or learn to love it because people rarely change for the better within a relationship.
If this is his only tic and you're willing to live with it, it could be far worse and I wish you nothing but happiness.
Great advice. Probably not for me as we're 3 years in and he's otherwise pretty great... and I know there's things I do that likely irritate him. Communication is always an area that can be improved, so this is a great reminder.
That being said, it's a public forum and I'm sure there's someone out there who needed to hear this :)
He shits before leaving because he doesn't want to do it when we're out. It's forced, therefore it should be forced more than 1 second before we need to walk out the door.
AZBA11in ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Too MUCH force and you have an even bigger problem on your hands.
With my husband it is checking the tyre air pressure/oil and water levels.
He will tell me what time we need to leave to get somewhere - I will be ready on time then he will spend 5 or ten minutes doing stuff with the car before we can leave.
That would piss me off to no end. Good thing he's an ex.
Bazoun ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 20:16:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I didn't realize how many little passive aggressive things he did until after I ended our marriage. I'm still working thru just doing things I want. It always seemed that the things I liked were on a no-go list.
I feel you. I've gotten a lot better about relationships by setting firm boundaries and expectations. I have been in abusive relationships where they would threaten to kill themselves if I left. Now any threats or gas-lighting, and I'm out of there.
Bazoun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There have to be early detection red flags that others see that we don't. I would love to be able to know early on if it's just that I've developed some trust issues or no, he's really going to mess up my life.
I do sometimes if it's something like a poached egg that is going to rapidly deteriorate, but generally I like to use dinner time to talk about our days with each other. It's weird if I'm finished and just watching him eat.
Horkpork ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:12:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just use that opportunity to completely dominate the conversation. Then when he tries to get a word in just say, "please don't speak with your mouth full." Had a dentist do this to me one time. She'd go on and on about some controversial topic and be like, "don'tcha think?" And I'd try so say, "Well-" and then bbbbreeeeerrroooorrrrrr...
I agree with this unless OP gives no previous warnings. I think you gotta give a 10 or 15 minute heads up and then the, "dinner's ready."
Jbota ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 17:34:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just tell my wife "5 minute warning" which then kicks off the getting the baby situated, getting a drink, getting the dog food, etc. While I'm plating up and setting the table.
I used to do that too but it's like he just subconsciously adds five minutes onto whatever I say. So if I say it's ready when I need five more minutes, it's all good.
It's weird because he's not really like this with other stuff, he doesn't have ADHD or anything, he's capable of being timely. Except for dinner.
It's a bullshit power play, my dad uses it all the time, and my brothers, sadly, learned it from him. They just want you to wait for them to emphasize how important they are.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:03:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Uuuh. I think you're assuming an awful lot because of your own ass-hat family members.
Or a difference in how people were raised; I had a mom who would tell me "5 minutes" and "dinner time" and then expect the whole family to sit there for 10 minutes more because she wasn't actually done.
The first time I moved in with a partner, he liked doing the cooking, but I would totally hear "dinner time" as "10-15 minutes" and start getting ready then. I didn't even realize it until he pointed it out to me, and it took a lot to unlearn.
I'm sure some people do it to feel important, but it's not a good plan to assume people's reasons for things.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:40:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this when I had to get picked up post-after-school-activities. My mom was always half an hour late so I would give her times half an hour early. I'm actually surprised at how well it worked.
I'm guessing he knows the kitchen won't get cleaned after dinner and so he's getting certain stuff out of the way before everyone eats and is tired/needs bath/whatever else.
My ex-wife used to linger in the kitchen to clean after I'd sat down with my full plate. It was especially bad when I cooked, because she would wipe down the stove and even wash some dishes while I sat waiting. I would say, "The food's ready; I will clean up after we eat." But she refused to leave the kitchen dirty before she ate, thereby refusing to let me eat hot food (by that I mean the right temperature).
My husband does this! So frustrating! Also whenever we are going out, he would lie in bed playing games while I get ready, saying he just need to "get a t shirt and be done", then when I am really ready, waiting for him at the door he will definitely run to take a shit. Every damn time.
Well. Don't do that. When you say it's time to eat start eating. You make the food you decide when to eat it. If he still isn't there when your done start eating his food too.
My roommate has no concept of time. He'll say - I'm ready in five minutes and you guys don't have your shoes on. We put shoes on, grab purses, and announce we are ready since he's not paying attention. His response - so am I, I just have to go to the bathroom, finish my hair, change...
I just eat without him. Why should I have to eat cold food because you're piddlefarting around? Frequently I'm finished eating before he even starts. Whatever.
I've just resorted to keeping the food warm until it's actually served, which is also useful considering I can never get the sides to finish at the same time.
My dad used to do this all the time and it would infuriate my mom. So I started cooking and setting a timer so I could give him the ten minute, 5 minute, 1 minute and 30 second warnings.
For some unknown reason he was never "late" to the table after the first couple of days and I finally got to eat in peace instead of listening to my mom sigh heavily and make the odd passive aggressive comment.
All that said I don't know why she couldn't just let his food get cold. He's an adult and microwaves exist.
Five hours later and a bajillion comments into this thread: THIS is what I need to do! My SO is constantly doing this! I just spent an hour making dinner. I want to eat it when it's warm!
I'm going to practice this tonight.
My grandparents are like this, and it's kind of funny. Five minutes before dinner: 'Hey sweetheart call your grandfather for dinner.' He gets to the table BEFORE dinner is done.
Dinner is on the table? 10-20 minutes before he's at the table. The rest of us just eat without him.
Not a mom, but I had to start lying to my partner about dinner being ready. When I say "dinner's ready" he takes that time to go get a glass of iced tea, clean up stuff around the kitchen or dining room, take a shit, whatever.
My husband has done that a lot in the past, mostly when he is on the phone with his dad or a friend and just forgets. Once or twice I brought food to him. After that, I just ate without him.
I give my fiancรฉe a five minute warning. Then tell her dinner is ready. Then I just start eating because she has never once gotten ready within the five minutes and it is so annoying.
Let him decide what he wants to do with the information you give him. Don't make decisions for him, that's controlling. You don't get to decide what's "right" for him any more than he should lie to you because he knows what's "right" for you.
We had to help make dinner as kids & split house chores. I'm still fascinated by other kids who have moms who just did stuff like this for them all the time.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:17:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Ah just reading this now - sorry! Wanted to add I hope you weren't thinking I was making a judgement on your Mom not working when I said my original comment that I find it fascinating. Personally, I love cooking and cleaning really relaxes me, so even though I'm working will cook for my fiancรฉ and I and do most of the household chores. And there's nothing more insulting than doing something I choose to do and like to do and have some moron tell me I shouldn't do it because it's not progressive. What is not progressive is giving into social pressures of other people, and not doing what makes you happy for fear of what other people think. On that note - for anyone to get offended by you said above - that is complete BS. You didn't imply anything negative about your Mom.
Maybe you aren't counting all the raising and supervising of you kids as "work" but you can be damn sure she did.
Source: am stay at home mom.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:24:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is a lie I stand by. 90% it takes forever to get everyone in there when it is ready. And I just spent an hour cooking something that I'm hoping everyone will enjoy, but I'm not going to say that because I don't want the guilt trip the kids. Will it kill you to sit there and just talk with each other like civilized people for 5 minutes while I frantically finish up?!
kennyl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:22:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No ma'am, we'd like to play Pokemon Go for another five minutes.
So you rush down, and then get yelled at for "hovering around while she's dishing up".
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:16:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You hear those words you have exactly 3 seconds before screaming ensues if your not present.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:07:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom still does this. I'll be up in my room and hear "dinner's ready!" I go downstairs to an empty table, dinner in the oven. "You said it was ready?" "It'll be ready in a minute, go sit down". 10 minutes passes. Still not ready. And of course if I walk away she yells at me, when no one else in the house even came down the first time she called.
radarix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:37:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i was this kid. mention food and i'm there instantly, getting annoyed at the rest of my family who apparently don't need to eat that badly.
my mom would pull the dinner's ready line, and lure me into the kitchen to make me set the table. understandable since she cooked every night, but bothered me before i knew better
I remember the worst that this ever happened to me was I was playing a video game. My mom calls and says dinner is about ready and asks me to set the table. I go into the kitchen and start to set the table when I realize she has just started browning the hamburger for lasagna. I went back to my video game for about an hour before supper was actually ready.
This sort of thing seems similar to those people who set the microwave for at least twice as long as something takes to cook, and then expects someone else to sit there and babysit it, to turn it off at the right time.
You just gave me so much PTSD anxiety from childhood.
ztikkyz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:27:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funny thing is that my gf is exactly like that, we always watch a tv show while eating supper and everytime she's like "You can come its ready" so I stop gaming, go to the kitchen, then... wait.. wait.. wait.. and as we start to eat, she go back up, i gotta pause, she gets something to drink or watever..
annooooys me haha
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:37:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My husband does this when he cooks and it annoys the fuck out of me.
Jushak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:50:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, after a while my mother just gave up on getting me to eat with the family at the table. After that she gave up on having me eat the meals in the kitchen. It didn't help her case that she and my father both liked to watch TV while eating anyway, so they didn't have much of a moral high ground to preach at us.
Was about to post the same thing! And apparently, they did this because they wanted me to offer to help finish dinner and get it on the table. Which I would have gladly done, had they asked, but in their minds a good girl never needs to be asked, she offers.
my mum's dinner early-warning system was way off. Either she'd call us, we'd turn up immediately and NOTHING. Or we'd delay and delay and get yelled at a few more times, then turn up and find a plate of food going cold.
I'm 90% certain she never communicated with my dad (y'know, the guy cooking it) and just made a random guess.
And "clear the table so we can eat", then some time after dinner "who's moved my important forms; I left them right here on the table"
Deavian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:30:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually learned to smell when dinner was ready. I'd get a whiff of food and then wander out as plates were being served. They never had to call me in they knew I just had some primal instinct to wander from my cave say thanks and scurry away
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:12:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh fuck yes, hey where is it?"
"Right hold him down and get him in the sack, we'll throw him in the river and go back to being financially stable!"
This isn't a lie, it's more like social engineering.
Like with a party... depending on the general feel you have for your group of friends and their sense of punctuality, you have to set the start time of any social event 1-4 hours before you want everyone showing up. I've known some groups where "show up at 5" means "9 is fine" and "show up at 10" means "this party isn't going to be in full swing until 2 AM".
If you know it's going to take 5 minutes to pry them away from their video games or whatever they're doing, you call 5 minutes early. On the off chance that they come instantly, then say "thanks for being punctual".
stengebt ยท 3612 points ยท Posted at 12:52:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I know what I'm doing"
[deleted] ยท 2426 points ยท Posted at 14:52:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Jotap28 ยท 1144 points ยท Posted at 15:08:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Part of being a parent is convincing your children that you are rock solid. This plays a great role on how much they trust you. It's not about being untrue to them, it's just so that you give them reasons to trust your advice. (Obviously, given that you are a good parent/human being)
I think this goes the same way everything else where knowledge is paramount to success goes in that it shouldn't be about knowing the answer flat out, but knowing how to find the answer and talking through possible conclusions.
A doctor that is facing a disease with symptoms she can't put together, or an engineer that doesn't know what a certain part is rated for are going to use the tools to find that answer. I'd have a lot more respect for my parents' knowledge if they occasionally said, "You know, I don't know that. Let's look it up."
When it comes to life advice it gets a little more complicated, but I think advice concerning personal matters becomes insanely more valuable and trustworthy if you are humble enough to admit that you don't know everything. I resented my parents a lot for telling me how to live my life and what was best for me, even if sometimes they were right.
But I think also adding in a spice of, "maybe you're not infallible" early on helps kids to be able to think and find answers for themselves too instead of relying on you to be an encyclopedia on the world. I'm not a parent so maybe I'm a bit naive, but having worked a significant amount with children through tutoring and assistant teaching, I found young children were very receptive to the, "let's find the answer together" solution rather than me outright telling them the answer.
Jotap28 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 16:37:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I get your point and I agree with it.
What I was trying to say is that, even though you do not know the answers, it is important for your (mostly young) children to look at you as someone whose advice they can trust. It's not that you are not being humble, but, as a parent, if you show small children that you are unsure, most of the times they can pretty much turn the tables and make themselves believe they know better, and thus leading to second guessing your opinions.
Either way, I think your explanation was pretty much on point :). At some stage, parents should bring their children to their level and discuss what can/cannot, should/shouldnot be done. At teen level, it is real important to let kids shape themselves with your guidance and not with your imposition.
My mom DID always say "I'm not sure, let's go try to find out," and then go look it up with me, thereby teaching me solid research techniques and how to solve my own problems/answer my own questions. This started when I was a small child. I never thought she was any less infallible for it; she made not have had the answer, but she knew how to get one, god dammit.
I also did this to my own mother when she wouldn't stop bugging me about her computer or phone being "broken". She's a really smart person but, like me, has ADD and can't focus for long. Teaching someone how to use Google, and then learning how not to hold them when they're crying does wonders for their problem solving heh
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:57:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, asking someone else to fix your problem is the old version of google.
insanely more valuable and trustworthy if you are humble enough to admit that you don't know everything
I was so shocked when a work colleague of mine said that whenever she doesn't know what to answer her 3y.o. daughter she tell her "it's how Jesus wants it to be". And this woman works in science, how can it even happen.
My parents always did this to me (when they didn't know the answer to some question and I hadn't been bugging them about it for 3 hours of course) and I think it was very positive because it teaches kids that nobody knows everything and that's okay.
I think it breeds non-thinkers, that's my major worry. There's too many of them already.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:54:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably both. Kids who aren't intelligent will accept it, and kids who are will call bullshit. Or maybe, kids who are well behaved and kids who are rebellious.
You might have an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone. Ask her how many times she believed something because someone told her "it's how Jesus wants it to be."
RhynoD ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:52:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but I would have appreciated my parents admitting to fuck ups. It teaches you as a kid to handle messing up and not knowing with grace. It's ok for parents to not know, it's ok for parents to make mistakes. It's not ok for them to never own up to mistakes and not knowing.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:59:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents did that to me. And they were wrong about a bunch of shit. I've looked like an idiot multiple times in my life because I believed what my parents told me.
I take a different approach.
If I don't know, I tell my kid that I don't know. Then we can research it together.
I'm not really interested in passing on my trust issues to my kid.
My dad told me an embarrassing lie when I was around 9-10 years old.
He said "if you card didn't have any money left, you could just tell the bus driver and he'd give you a free ride."
I'm not stupid, I knew it couldn't be true, it just didn't make sense.
One day I was going to school and I forgot to top up the value and couldn't pay for the bus fare so I ended up walking all the way.
When I came back after school and told him what happened, he looked at me and just laughed saying I was foolish enough to believe him.
Many years later, I told my mom about it and she didn't believe that her husband would do such a thing. She still doesn't.
To this day, I look at him with scorn whenever he displays signs of hypocrisy, like, "I don't trust the GPS, I only trust the directions I typed out myself".
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:17:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't admitting that you don't know everything gain their trust even better? I'm watching a set of parents raise a teenager and the "I'm right because I know better" just isn't getting results.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:42:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother manages to annoy me (with my already instable teenager mood) to no end. She tells me all the time what should I do and how to do it, which would be fine, but when I dare to say "I don't think so" or "I already know what I'm going to do", we are just pointlessly arguing.
If you can't give a solid argument or just an anecdote backing up you opinion, it's probably not much better than how I would do it. It's just the way you would do it.
It feels incedibly bad to have your ideas without much consideration wiped off the table. On the plus side I think the sacrifice of life quality which comes with living in a dormitory is well worth this kind of freedom.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:44:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in my mid-twenties and have been on my own paying rent since 19. My attitude toward my parents hasn't changed and it baffles me the kinds of decisions they make and how justified they feel in making them.
I'm assuming that some people have reasonable parents that are in the right when they say they are, but all I see is a generation that is fixed on routine and what is "right and wrong".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's better if the parent admits this before the kid has to figure it out on their own, I think. Teaches kids about responsibility and owning up to your mistakes. My mom could do that, my dad couldn't. Guess which one I ended up having a better relationship with?
Completely agree, except it was opposite for me. My mom still cannot admit when she was wrong or doesn't know something. My dad however can admit when he doesn't know something, and we figure it out together.
I'm not a dog person, I can only handle them in small doses.
Zack1018 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:44:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
However, as your kids get older a big part of being a parent is easing out of the "I am your god" image and into the "I am your friend" image. In my opinion that is why teenage/young adult "angst" is so common, because they realize that their parents are flawed human being but the parents try to act as though they are still infallible in their children's eyes.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:11:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Zack1018 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:52:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The "I am your friend" is not necessarily a healthy relationship for a teenager and their parent, however in my opinion that is the relationship that an adult (25+ yo usually) should have with their parent. My point was that parent-children relationships are very different between a 10 year old and a 30 year old, and that transition needs to begin somewhere.
I believe the over-controlling parents and "angsty" children are a result of that transition happening too slowly, and out-of-control teens with pushover parents are an example of that transition happening too fast.
Jotap28 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As I replied in parallel, that is also my opinion. At some point during the teens, parents got to support and guide their children's development path not impose it.
Here's the thing: it only goes to a certain point. Parents should admit they're wrong sometimes. Parents should always explain their reasoning, too. Doing this maintains your kid's perception that you know more than them while additionally teaching them how to make logical decisions and think their actions through rather than following you blindly. It also makes the kid feel more like you trust them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, also they need you to be infallible when they are little. You can let the reins slip a little as they get older and older, but rock solid is right. Just like kids need rules and boundaries to feel secure, they need mom and dad to be all good, all knowing and all powerful to feel secure when they are small.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's now about being untrue to them
WE KNEW IT
SEM580 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's a lot of value in letting your kids see that you make mistakes. They know they do, and they're more likely to ask for your help if they see that you're not perfect either. It makes you more approachable.
My dad always let me see his process of trying something, taking risks, making mistakes, and making it right when he did so. That's why when I got myself into tough situations I knew I could ask him for advice; if he was perfect all the time, how could he possibly tell me how to fix a mistake?
mnh5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think this differs on how you were raised. I grew up with parents who taught me they were just ordinary human beings who made mistakes like anyone else. I knew I could rely on them and that they would give good advice, but at no point did they ever want me to think they were infallible.
I have never tried to convince mine of that. I'm actually the complete opposite and will openly after making the mistake point my mistake out and just tell them I have buggered up and then ask them how they think I can fix it or repay them if my mistake had an effect on them. We all make mistakes and it is the learning from them, the slight humiliation and seeking of knowledge, forgiveness that makes us all human. To learn that is a more valuable skill then to learn to hide mistakes or to be so worried about being seen as less that you dare not become more.
Sawses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I learned at a fairly young age that authority =/= competence. Kinda made me come across as an arrogant little shit...but insisting on knowing why I should do what I'm told has served me fairly well, since it lets me operate with a large amount of initiative and autonomy in any situation.
This is such a true observation. As a kid, my parents were like, my heroes. They always provided for me, we never really had much to complain about and emotionally they were always there for me. The older I got though, the more I realised they were REALLY BAD ADULTS (but still good parents) They drank beer/cider every single night in HUGE quantities - Dad would have 8 cans of 5% Stella Artois (I thought this was normal behaviour) they smoked 20 cigarettes a day. My mum was addicted top opiates (cocodamol). They never encouraged my intelligence into actually trying hard at school as they were happy with the B's and C's I'd churn in with minimal effort. They drove their credit ratings into the floor. They tried to skip bills. They didn't socialise with other adults. They didn't build anything for later life. They always lived paycheck to paycheck and looking back, I was never afforded things like going on the school trips or anything like that
Sharkoh ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 17:53:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This hits really close to home. My parents never really pushed me to achieve anything. It was nice in a way to be left to my own devices but at the same time by never pushing me, I put in the minimal effort required. Not just in school, but in all aspects of life.
[deleted] ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 18:38:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a typical redditor, praised for being smart, coasting through high school and never developing the work ethic. Like all kids like that I hit a wall, in my case university. I dropped out, couldn't handle the responsibility of actually having to apply myself and got into drinking/partying in a big way as a means of distracting myself from what I realise now was my fear of failure. I like my life but I in no way lived up to whatever potential I had.
Holy shit - are you me? Im in the exact same boat, except i throw away my life on computer games rather than alcohol.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I also play computer games! I'm actually not doing too badly, married and emigrated to where I always wanted to live. I also love my work, I just never ended up in academia/STEM like my parents expected.
VoiceSC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can I ask what kind of work you're doing?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, now you're really sounding like you're living my life. Also dropped out of university, emigrated to live with my girlfriend in a country I always wanted to live in, also work with music, also drink too much, also play too many games (though not so much anymore, I learned having a standing desk deters hours of gaming)
Though, I'm planning on finish school next fall, I mostly dropped out because my visa to move went way faster than we expected (it said 14 months, took us 5 weeks), so hopefully I'll have that going for me, which will be nice
VoiceSC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What does that mean exactly? For me personally video games have been the only thing I've been good at some I'm trying to make that a career.
It means that i'm enrolled in uni (dietician) but i spend too much time on my pc ( dota and csgo and twitch) so i end up not getting enough study time in, so there's a decent % i fail and drop out
VoiceSC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The way I try to help myself out when it comes to that is to think which is more important to me, to push myself to achieve my goals and dreams and live the life I want or to get swept up in the normal routine and end up failing and living with my parents working a dead end job.
Now imagine that boomers control everything. (hint: you don't have to imagine because it's true)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The only benefit is that one day (hopefully not any time soon) I'll inherit some of my boomer parents' wealth. It's hard not to resent the boomer generation in the houses that they bought for cheap (with wages that were worth far more) in the 70s/80s and will sell for $1M+.
I've heard from multiple boomers that the home prices and values have been steadily decreasing, many of them thought they would sell for more ...also many overseas investors are coming in and buying the flipped/foreclosed/empty ones and renting them out, lastly... the people who gave out all those bad mortgages are poised to do it all over again (Documentary: The Big Short).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Toronto, house prices are just crazy here. It's actually to the point where I'm considering changing careers. I have a great opportunity for a career here but I'd have to stay in Toronto where I don't think I'll ever be able to buy. If I train up in a more flexible job I'd be able to live/buy wherever.
Many most younger people have now resigned to never owning a home. I'd be curious to hear which job you decide to train up in if you decide to change careers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Overhead lineman, a lot of current linemen are retiring and it's a good time to try and get into the industry. I work a job which has the capacity to pay well (audio technician, I get paid between $25-40CAD an hour depending on the placement) but I'd like something a bit more stable if I can do so.
Thanks for sharing. What do you think of electrician's assistant?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also a very good idea. It's hard to land one of these jobs but they're about as lucrative as can be for a job that doesn't require a university degree.
sdpr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think I was you all through school but I got a paid scholarship to electrical engineering along with maybe 20 other guys. The thing is some of them who I'm good friends with have really strong work ethics and they pull me along and peer pressure in my case actually results in me studying more. One of my mates who got a first class honors is currently living with me this week to help me study for my repeats and I'm doing way more work with him than I could on my own . . .
This all came at the expense of partying and a good social life though
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents told me I was going to be a doctor or something when I was a pre-teen just because I got really good test scores. But they basically gave up on me the day I got my first B- in seventh grade, and I've been living down to their expectations ever sense.
my man this is exactly me except i dropped out earlier in high school
i was pretty much a nervous anxious wreck in high school so i'd like to think all that excessive partying/drinking in college actually did me a bit of good. though i guess it's just what i decided to settle with instead of accepting that i haven't amount to anything worthwhile all this time.
This is very interesting to read. I know kids in this sort of situation and wonder how they view their parents. I mean, you can obviously do all sorts of things and still love your kids. I also wonder what these kids think of my family, how we differ from their parents and how they view my kids. Or do they even notice any differences?
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:21:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Heddron ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:06:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Been there. I use their behavior as a guide: If I start to remind myself, or my husband, of my folks, it's a cue to change my bahavior. Having a good spouse helps keep me honest.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:36:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I doubt it, my little sister has followed in their mould very much so, made bad life decisions and still lives with them at 28.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:51:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:58:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno about his advice to his sister. But until 4 months before I turned 25, I was still living at home, with no real future, or plans, or anything. I went back to school, got a Bachelors, and now, at 35, have a decent career. The student loans are murder, but if you're smart, go into STEM, you can really turn the ol' life around.
Move out, get into social/council housing - find a job, any job. Live within your means. Don't quit because you think the world owes you anything. Every job she has ever had her manager has "had it in for her" which is about 6/7 times now?
Be independent before you lose the ability to have the choices afforded to you in your mid 20's that shape you as you get older.
Reddit was the worst life decision I've ever made big bro...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:59:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents are using my husband and myself as their retirement plan and are living with us. Never saved a dime except to smoke and drink and I couldn't bear to see them homeless but damn this situation sucks.
Ah yes, the whole guilt trip is awaiting you. Barely a week goes by where I'm not asked for money. I'm not particularly rich, but I live a fairly decent life. My grandfather passed away not so long ago and my dad was banking on his money to see him through into his later years. Thing is - in later life my grandfather became accustomed to a life he couldn't afford on his pensions and being proud, didn't want anyone else to know. Meant he died in a lot of debt. The ruling in the UK means that the debt dies with him thankfully, but the money my parents were expecting is all gone.
I know for a fact that they'll retire with nothing. They don't even own their own home, so I'll end up housing them in one of mine - rent free or less than the mortgage is.
I'm thinking of sitting them down in the next few years and saying "right - what's your plan for retirement because it sure as fuck aint falling on my head"
Thing is, my sister drifts from relationship to relationship and her latest flame could get tired of her, resulting in another "move back home".
Ever felt like you could have been adopted and just never told?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:55:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Proceeds to list all sorts of things that make them bad examples of how to live life.
Doesn't mean you don't love them though.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:50:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They drank beer/cider every single night in HUGE quantities - Dad would have 8 cans of 5% Stella Artois
Oh my God, yes! My parents, though hardworking and good providers, drank constantly, too! I thought it was totally normal for adults to drink 8 or 9 beers a day. Also, just like you said, my parents never socialized with other adults (including our extended family) or pushed me to try harder.
I think your old man and my old man should get together and go bowling.
It's so true, I used to have a friend that would get annoyed that my favorite beer is Guinness, then he'd list off a bunch of beers I should be drinking instead
No, no there isn't and that's a stupid line of reasnoning. I've never even heard that nickname for Stella. Wife beater? Really? Stella is pricier than any beer I've seen shitheads drink.
It's still an Inbev product, and it's still pretty bland. If you like, it, that's obviously perfectly fine. But for my dollar, a cheap Mexican beer (YMMV, I live in the South, so it's not expensive) tastes very similarly for much less, and doesn't come with dressed up pretensions like their commercials like to imply.
I've never actually bought a six-pack of them or anything to give them a multi-day test, and I don't drink alcohol anymore. But the one bottle I drank at a food and booze tasting was just very plain. Again, plain is fine. I like unflavored oatmeal and white rice. But I don't try to claim that those dishes are fancy or "pure" just to dress up my comfort food.
yeame3 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you too
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good ole reverse psychology right there
Fazz20 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:12:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aside from the drugs this is exactly what it's like in my family. Unfortunately I have a really bad anxiety problem (they do too hence the drinking.) I'm hoping to be the most stable and understanding adult I can possibly be for my kids.
Siphon1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:43:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read it as "I'm now getting to 60 and relying on the government pension.
I was thinking to myself, "Geez this guy isnt doing much better"
I still love them to bits but I cannot respect their lifestyle or take any lessons into my adult life to replicate them. I'm not getting to 60 and relying on the government pension.
I'm just a guy on the Internet, but I can't help but say that I am so, so proud of you. Great example of "self-actualized" here.
"I'm not getting to 60 and relying on the government pension. I'm going to be debt free, have emergency funds and push my kids into doing better than I did."
They never encouraged my intelligence into actually trying hard at school as they were happy with the B's and C's I'd churn in with minimal effort.
They always lived paycheck to paycheck and looking back, I was never afforded things like going on the school trips or anything like that.
I'm not convinced they were "good parents" either.
Eipa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:55:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I am to this day convinced that parenting is the most overestimated activity. The one important thing is presence. And then there is some minor stuff which is fairly easy as well (changing diapers, show some love, feeding, helping with homework). 'Good parenting' like pushing the children for success (as suggested in this thread oftenly) must be handled with care as you can easily overdo that, in my eyes. Doesn' t make you a bad parent of course but can be more damaging than helping.
Sounds like your parents are hippies and you - like so many hippie children - are a square. That's really all there is to it. And they may be wondering what they did wrong when you are counting your emergency funds and push your kids to "a better life than you had". (Is it really better to be pushed anywhere?)
Maybe some day you'll realize that your own children are coming after their grandparents. Circle of life, man. :)
My parents were most certainly not "hippies", I'm more outgoing than they ever were. They were bad with money, bad at setting an example of how to be a responsible adult. What a ridiculous assumption to make that i'm a square.
Compare yourself to the Dude from Big Lebowski instead of your parents. He's bad with money, drinks a lot... and would probably be an awesome dad.
All I'm saying is that your parents apparently allowed you to become who you are today, even if that's completely different to themselves. Yet you describe it as your virtue to push your own kids into doing better than you did.
I'm mad at them for what i could have accomplished if I was pushed, or if I was given them to aspire towards. I wasn't. They let me do the bare minimum. Imagine them like Hal and Lois from Malcolm in the Middle. Great parents, but shitty adults. The thing is, they pushed Malcolm, made sacrifices so he could be whatever he chose to be - I never had that. I'm not complaining, I had a better upbringing than someone who had a shitty one - but they could have been firmer with me.
I see. But you're old enough and have obviously taking responsibility of your own life long ago. So stop being mad at them for who they are and what may have been. I know it ain't easy, but from your own description it doesn't sound like they owe you anything.
A part of being an adult is not blaming your parents anymore.
[deleted] ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 15:10:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 23 and I'm still pretty sure my parents are superhumans.
Right??? Mom can get any stain out of any shirt I own and Dad knows how to fix everything in the house. Boring, very useful superhumans.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:41:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Plus they have the uncanny ability to make any meal taste better. I consider myself a pretty good cook (they began teaching me how to cook when I was like 12), but food prepared in their kitchen is automatically better.
They get dumber to you as you progress in to the teenage years then smarter again as you become an adult. Usually. There are some pretty bad parents too.
However you do pass through the teenage phase first where you think your parents are wrong all the time when they aren't.
rjjm88 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:38:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I went from "my mom can do no wrong, my dad's a drunken asshole" to "both of my parents are horrible" to "my dad is trying the best he can, but he had to deal with my mom somehow and that somehow was booze".
When I was maybe 6 or 7 my best friend was telling me all about how Santa puts presents under the tree for her. I was like, there is no Santa, it's your mom (I wasn't raised believing in Santa). She stood firm and said her mom knows everything.
I remember being so shocked at how blindly she believed to her mom. My parents raised me to question everything. They admitted they didnt know everything and taught me how to find answers. Her mom was always saying questionable things that even a 6 year old me knew was bull/not right. If she didn't know the answer to something she made shit up. But my friend thought she was the bees knees.
People sometimes ask me how I was able to forgive my parents for putting me through the hellish upbringing I had*. My answer is always "they did the best they could with the hand they were dealt."
Do I wish things were different? Yes.
Do I resent the situation and my childhood? Absolutely.
Do I understand that they did the best job they knew how to do? I eventually figured that out.
*I was raised as the sister to a sociopath and was a complete back burner child.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, and they just look like they know what they're doing because they've had to deal with more new things than you have.
Jagd3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a guy who grew up with an undiagnosed schizophrenic mother (she's since been diagnosed and is being treated for that and paranoia)I realized that very very early. It was terrible and to this day I still have a terrible relationship with my mother.
I never thought of my parents as that great. I mean they were good, but I didn't see them or anyone as being exceptional in anyway. Except my mom in regards to how reasonable she was.
Yeah in my early memories she never got tired hitting me. But when I was older she would occasionally get tired or even hurt from hitting me. Parents have limitations
I seemed to have skipped the period where I thought they were infallible.
Orisara ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your respect for them goes through the roof the moment that hits you.
I'm now older than the moment they had me(25)...I still feel like a kid.
Sure, have a gf, have a job, own part of a company...but having a child scares the shit out of me.
I mean, I probably "know" more than my parents did at this age(internet is nice like that, did some psychology studies, etc.) but still. Way to scared to screw up.
The_Fad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My fucking 9 year old is already smart enough to see this, and she totally calls me out on it. It's kind of the worst because I can't just subdue her anymore with the normal parenting tricks, I have to treat her and speak to her according to her intelligence while still trying to behave as if she's 9.
When a child first catches adults out โ when it first walks into his grave little head that adults do not always have divine intelligence, that their judgments are not always wise, their thinking true, their sentences just โ his world falls into panic desolation. The gods are fallen and all safety gone. And there is one sure thing about the fall of gods: they do not fall a little; they crash and shatter or sink deeply into green muck. It is a tedious job to build them up again; they never quite shine. And the child's world is never quite whole again. It is an aching kind of growing.
not even that. More like the older you get, the less you realize they knew.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God, that's the most terrifying lesson of becoming an adult IMO. They were faking their way through it the WHOLE time. I can barely be trusted to keep myself alive for a whole day, and my mom was a single parent to a 10 year old and a 5 year old when she was my age. I need to go hug Mom now. Knowing now how scary that must have been.
I feel like it wavers back and forth. When you are a kid they are infallable, then you realized they are real people and make mistakes, but sometimes you take that to mean they are idiots who have no idea what they are doing, but then you bring it back and realize they have a lot of experience and wisdom after 50+ years on the planet that you are happy to have access to.
I will never forget the moment I realized my dad was not the all knowing master of things I thought he was. I was in kindergarten and asked him why Hanukkah is sometimes spelled with a 'k' (khanuka) or a 'c' (chanukah) after learning about the holiday at school. He absently responded, "It's only spelled with an 'h'."
For the first time I looked at him and thought, "You're wrong." Broke my little child's idealistic view of my father.
I had an actual moment around the time I turned 18 where I finally realised no one knows what they're doing, and I realised my parents never actually knew what they were doing ever lmao
My parents had me young (like literally I was a baby), but my mom would stay home and take care of me until I was old enough for school, while my dad would work every day at a fast food place in the mall while suffering from pretty bad RA. I never knew we were poor and it wasn't until much later that I realized how bad it was. I'm 21 now and my parents tell me stories of times our power was shut off or times we were almost evicted. Today they've both gone back to school and have good jobs, it's amazing to see how far they've come.
jenh6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, as a kid I thought my dad knew everything. Now I know that if he didn't know he was just fucking bullshitting me but I bought it hook, line and sinker. Apparently he thought it was a lot of fun to convince kids of certain things, much like Calvin's dad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I figured this out fairly early. It was not fun for them.
The amount of stupid shit I have held against my parents has steadily decreased the closer I get to the age that my parents had me. I'm starting to realize you're not really prepared for a kid until you have one, and then from there, you're basically figuring shit out as you go. The petty things that upset me as a kid start to seem super insignificant now.
I agree though. I thought this about my parents also and my grandparents, and then I got older and learned the truth. None of them were or are bad people, but I realized that they didn't have things figured out, they struggled also, and had their own problems. But I had no idea. I was a pretty good kid, but it makes me sad to think of the times I was shitty or selfish to them and shouldn't have been.
I'm 22 and have a 19 month old child of my own and my parents still pretend they are omniscient beings. When I got my girlfriend to quit smoking my mother spend the first 6 weeks talking about all the "secret harmful chemicals" in the patches just because I had the gull to say I checked the active chemical lists. My girlfriend also has a medical condition that prevents her from having cafine, a problem she was born with and diagnosed with at 2 and likely passed to our child. It causes her insane pains and masses in her kidneys that take weeks to go away. My father still doesn't see a problem with giving my son cafinated so soda and I'm the asshole for trying to tell him to stop
Keskekun ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:56:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid I shattered my collarbone like humpty Dumpty levels of not fixable shards sticking out of the skin and blood everywhere. I am so fucking scared that I'm just in a constant state of screaming and crying. By the time my mom turned up I had no voice left. Still screaming out nothingness. So she walks up to me with a smile and asks me why I am crying. I told her that I was scared. My mom with a big old smile looks me in the eyes and said "you don't have to be scared, darling. I know what I'm doing". Instantly stopped crying. When we reached the hospital I was all smiles and the doctor asked if I wasn't in pain fearing som kind of nerve damage. 8 year old me told him it hurt a lot but that it wasn't a problem because mom promised it would be okey.
I've only realized that my parents are people with issues and flaws in the past, like, five years. It's kind of jarring. I have anxiety and I still sometimes go to my mom just to hear her say everything is okay, though.
I've started to notice she has some of the same negative traits that I do. She raised me to have them. It makes me pretty angry even though it wasn't intentional. But what's worse is she doesn't recognize them in herself like I do in myself.
I always fall for this shit and we end up using a Maps app to find our way back.
On the contrary, with my knowledgeable dad, I kept insisting that we were going to the right place, but it turned that that I accidentally tapped on the wrong branch's location.
I think navigation isn't nearly as valuable as it used to be though. Because apps. We can drive basically anywhere and never be lost.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:17:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny because one time my family was vacationing in Manhattan with one of my moms friends. (Parents are divorced) and while on the subway I didn't want to use phone battery because it was shit so I just memorized the subway map and my mom couldn't understand the map and would snap at me for trying to help. Eventually she just said "All right Mr.Bigshot, you lead the way if you're so smart!" I got everyone to the location in less than 10 minutes.
I don't want the inevitable crestfallen look when my kid finds out that this isn't true to ever cross her face. As a result, I tell her all the time, "Mommy doesn't know the answer to that, but let's look it up together!" or "I know a little something about this topic, which I will share with you, but if you want to know more, we'll have to Google it."
"Don't tell me how to drive. I've been doing it for decades!".
Well you'd think you'd be less shit at it then.
Weep2D2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:53:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still believe that parenting is the biggest, I'm winging it job ever..
You just make the best decision at the time and hope the kid doesn't end up in a suicide cult..
mxzf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:35:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We learned very quickly that that wasn't always the case with my dad. He is fairly competent overall, but I grew up reading the instruction manuals of the tools he bought when my mom wasn't around because he would just jump right in and start using things. Things usually went ok, but my help was needed often enough to make it worthwhile
I think the most memorable was the time he bought a cartridge-powered nail gun, the kind that you put a nail in and a blank .22 cartridge and hit the back to set off the charge and drive the nail in. He bought it for attaching studs to the cinder block walls of the basement to hang sheetrock. The first my mom and I learned of it was when we were sitting upstairs working on school (homeschooled) and we hear a gunshot from the basement. We went downstairs to see what had happened, found him using the thing, and asked if he'd read the manual/knew what he was doing. His response was that he thought we'd read the manual, despite the fact that he went right past us from the garage to the basement and didn't bother to mention that he had a new toy that we should read the manual for.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:22:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know...I often told my sons..."okay, kids, here goes nothing..."
Anytime I heard "Don't worry about it" I worried about it. The hole in the wall was from an accidental discharge of a firearm after faulty reassembly subsequent to routine cleaning. Oops. He put the firing pin in backwards on a piece where it mattered, so it protruded when it should have been flush. When he tested the action, the round was slammed back into the protruding pin, striking the primer and igniting the powder, sending the round through the barrel and into the wall.
"Hey I'm running to the store for some milk, wanna come? It'll be quick." Three hours later you realize that she forgot to mention that first she needed to stop at the pharmacy, get gas, run 2 errands, and somewhere along the way she always runs into a friend.
I learned real quick to never leave the house with my mom if I didn't have a book with me. 4 hours of driving around isn't so bad when I can recline back and chug through some chapters. Hell, half the time she would let me stay in the car and read.
Ashkela ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 18:08:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then it would be 'how did you read so much this week? LET ME SEE YOUR HOMEWORK. DID YOU STAY UP ALL NIGHT READING AGAIN?'
That's the super bonus of smart phones. Kindle app! I started reading a universe that has something like 31 books in it so far as of July 26 and I'm on book 22.
Ashkela ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:25:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Connie Suttle. Multiple series, all the same universe. Blood Destiny series (10 books), Legend of the Ir'Indicti (5 books) High Demon (6 books) God Wars (5 books) - alll of those are finished. There are two in the Saa Thalaar series so far, five or six in the First Ordinance series (I'm on the first one of those, so correction, I'm on the 29th book), several in one more series that I believe is also the same universe. All the other are. If you want to read them, do them in the same order as I listed them, but when you finish the 5th of the first series, read the Ir'Indicti ones, then go back and finish the first one.
When you say "I've been working on a universe", do you mean you've been writing or reading? Either way, you could do worse than the Forgotten Realms universe for fantasy. There is a fuck-ton of books, by multiple authors (although I would recommend R.A. Salvatore). I've got about 41 of them and 35 are by R.A. Salvatore. If you are looking for Sci-Fi, try a few Warhammer 40K novels. If you go for 40K, I would recommend reading the 1st Ultramarines Onmibus, and then the Word Bearers Omnibus. Just to get a feel for the universe. I wouldn't say they are LoTR or Dune level books, but they are still good.
Edit: Actually now that I think about it, it couldn't hurt to read Salvatore's stuff. He has written for video games before, like Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning.
Ashkela ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:59:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read instead of doing chores. I read instead of doing homework. I read instead of sleeping. I read instead of playing outside. I once read 17 Nancy Drew books that I'd gotten for Christmas in two days. It wasn't that they were unhappy I read so much, but that they had to make sure I did the stuff that had to get done first.
Just get an actual Kindle, it's so much better, my favourite is the paperwhite.
That's just over a book and a half per day, just saying.
Ashkela ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually have one, but it's a first gen and has decided that it doesn't connect to the internet anymore so it won't download books. I have a new one coming for preferred winter holiday, but in the mean time, this works just fine.
I went back and checked and I'm actually on the 29th book. That also includes surgery on 7/26 and not being able to actually pick up the phone again until at least 7/28 cuz omg Dilautid is awesome but you can't read on that shit. I average 700 wpm.
You read a lot. And I thought I was bad when I got into the Xanth series and went through a dozen of them real fast.
Ashkela ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read constantly. Waiting five minutes to leave? Read. Ride the bus/subway? Read. Use the bathroom in a place where I don't have to rush? Read. Food cooking in microwave? Read. TV show on commercial and I can't fast forward? Read. Opening credits to a movie at home? Read.
nikomo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:10:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get any kind of motion sickness. Car, train, plane, boat.
I'll admit I haven't tried space, but I'm waiting for Elon to hook me up or something, space travel is expensive.
Han_Can ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:06:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to until I started laying sideways during car trips as a kid. I'm 6 years older than my brother, so I was obviously bigger than him, and would stretch my legs out and wedge them in-between the driver seat and center console. He would rest his feet on my shins.
Now he's 6'5" and has to sit in the front seat because he doesn't fit and my 5'4" self gets the backseat to myself
Awww. Poor you. Reading was my favourite thing on long car rides. I made everyone else uncomfortable by reading on windy mountain roads and being perfectly comfortable.
The one time I remember getting car-sick was on a fucking straight highway. I must have eaten food that disagreed with me or something.
I became a master at angling my book in time with the street lights if we were driving when the sun set. Hard to do in full darkness but I could belt through a chapter or two before having to start watching my brother on the gameboy.
srdyuop ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:04:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be able to read in the car. Hell, I used to be able to do my math homework in the car. I don't know what changed, but forget about reading. Now I get carsick just digging around in my purse.
I managed to make my mother promise not to run into ANY shop. At all. Except if they have asian junk food, then she'll have to get some. It may be rude but I'm sick of shopping for new boots for my sister.
Lucky you. I never get motion sickness, except when I try to read a book while moving. Car, plane, dog sled, doesn't matter.
SN00P1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did she at least leave you the keys while you're in the car? Or crack the window open? My mom once left me in the car on a pretty warm day and said she'll be 2 minutes after we were coming back from our jobs (we car pooled together) and 30 minutes later she comes out and I have the door open (for some air) and I'm all sweaty in my nice work clothes. Never again mom!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeeep. I always had a book on me growing up (still do now, just on my phone). I was that kid that got on the big screen while at a national rugby game because I was sitting with my family who were all really into sport and were going nuts along with the crowd every time we got a try or conversion - and I was just sitting there reading Harry Potter.
Haha yeah, I never left the house without a book when I was young for this exact reason. Errands were an opportunity to read if I had a book, torture if I didn't.
I know this sounds like an exaggeration, but one time, I actually finished a book when I was out with my mom. Start to finish. It was Harry Potter though, so I guess it wasn't a long read. Chamber of Secrets was one of my favorites.
I don't remember how long it was, only that every time she got in the car, she would say, "Oh and we need to stop by here too, there's a sale," and then off we'd go.
So what's the deal these days, is leaving a kid in the car on a hot day child abuse or something? Legitimately curious because I used to wait in the car all the time and just open the door or something if I got too hot.
[deleted] ยท 397 points ยท Posted at 16:48:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually kind of hate my mom for forcing me to wait around while she browsed for different yarn. She always did it right after my dentist appointments so I didnt have a choice.
tankpuss ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 17:04:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just drool on the yarn and you won't be allowed back.
Yarxing ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 17:09:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just burn down the store and go on a killing spree, you won't have to go to any store for years!
God, this kind of thing is how I know you lived in the country. In the country, if the yarn store is 15 minutes away, "better go while I'm over here." In the city, "it's only 15 minutes away, let's go twice a week!"
I've always thought it was the opposite. When you live in the country or a rural area, everything is at least 15 minutes away so you don't mind the trip. In the city, if something is 15 minutes away, I probably have an alternative which is only a couple of minutes away so I'll go there instead.
I grew up in the country, and my parents still live there, but I've now moved on to the big city. My parents are always complaining about how a trip "into town" takes so long. It takes three minutes! You live 2 miles from the epicenter of the town! Whereas when they're in the city visiting, and I suggest a restaurant that takes 15 minutes to get to, which is not far factoring in city traffic, it's "gonna take all day to get there."
Also works with money. They paid $2 for a spinach salad the other day and complained about it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:32:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I lived in the deep parts of Wisconsin, so sort of country yeah.
Suburbs, small towns, sprawl, historical areas, truck stops, farmland, need I go on? Even "urban v. rural" hasn't existed for decades. So when you say that, I really don't know what you're trying to say. Are you saying urban folk are more frivolous with their time? Are country folk more prone to staying at home? I just don't get your black & white view of the world; that's all.
For me it was antiques. My parents loved stopping and browsing for hours at antique stores. I even remember exploring abandoned houses with my father just to see if there was anything neat in them. Hated it and this was long before you could browse your phone. Now though, shit I love old stuff. Flea markets, antique shops, whatever.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:46:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I wont say I have an appreciation for yarn these days, but I take my sweet time grocery shopping. Thankfully I dont force anyone to walk lazily aside me bored out of their mind while I do it though.
Javaed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never minded antique stores as there was usually cool stuff in the ones my parents took me to and the few times they were dull we'd leave quite quickly. It was going to the mall and shopping for clothing that was torture.
Sixray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought antique stores were neat because my dad would explain when old stuff was from and how it used to work back when he was a kid. (My dad is older)
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:11:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol I totally get it. Though I wouldn't say it's a reason to hate her.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:31:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, hate was a strong word to juxtapose with yarn trips.
I don't think he legitimately hates her, just.. is extremely irritated about it. If he hates her, I'm sure there are a multitude of other reasons alongside this one.
Yeah, I get it. Shopping with my mom sucked, but it happened often and no was not an acceptable answer. I don't hate her for it. If this guy's mom took a half hour to gather yarn supplies for a hobby and it was the only time she had to do it, it seemseems really petty to be so angry about. When you have kids yout can't always do what you want. By the time you get them to bed stores are closed and if they are not you have to have someone in the house with the kids in case of an emergency. It seems a small price to pay.
I completely agree. Gotta do what you gotta do, gas money isn't a joke and there's no sense in her making a trip back into town (for a lot of us who didn't live in town) to get things, if she even could by the time she was free to do so.
But in the other sense I can understand being a younger kid how fucking boring it would be to sit there and watch my mom pick out goddamn yarn. Can't fault him there. I'd just keep it to myself.
Aww, man you say that now but either once you move out or move away or she passes away chances are you're going to look back fondly and recall that she just wanted to spend some time with you, even if it was just going to the store or browsing skeins of yarn.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:31:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I think that is most peoples experiences, but i havent seen her in years.
A lot of people are commenting that it's no big deal, but as someone with a total shit mom who did similar things, I understand where you're coming from.
And dentist appointments suck as a kid and an adult. Whenever I'm done with my appointment I just want to go home. I'd be pissed if I had to look at yarn after a filling or whatever.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I was usually numbed up by that point, so I basically had to endure what felt like an eternity of yarn browsing while half retarded.
My mother too is a lover of endless browsing, to which I would be forced into after dentist appointments. I had a lot of teeth pulled when I was young because my mouth was popular with teeth (crowding) and I vividly remember drooling in countless department stores. I kind of hate her for it as well.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom sews so I know exactly how you feel about going to the fabric store. Sorry mommy, but I do find it unbelievably boring to look at thirty different shades of blue then walk out with nothing because they didn't have the right green.
The secret is to buy your kid a little something for them on those trips, too. It's a win/win: either they take up the same interest/hobby and you have something new to share, or they don't care at all and you get that much more for yourself.
Of course, it can backfire - in a yarn shop last week I bought my 4yo son the yarn for a new sweater, and now every single moment I'm not engaged in housework he asks if I can make his sweater yet. At least he still wants one?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. My dad did it that way that if we accompanied him on a shopping trip he would buy us a soda or a snack.
Unless she was a bad mom, be nice. She takes care of you, you can spare a few minutes of your day for her to get an errand done since she spares nearly all her time making sure you're taken care of.
Dude I feel this guy with the yarn store, though. For my mother, in addition to craft stores, she also took me to book stores. I would sit for hours in a store I didn't give a fuck about that was like only 10 minutes away so she easily could have dropped me off at home or with my grandmother but instead she took me. And then, while I sat, miserable, and watched her buy hundreds of dollars worth of shit I knew she would never use and it would just be added to the piles of shit in her hoarder house, just to complain about being hungry and for her to snap at me that we don't have the money to snag nearby food. Or when we went to the grocery store and she would forego getting actual food for me in favor of TV dinners for herself and magazines, and when I realized there was nothing in the cart for me she acted like I was being impossible by requesting some sort of food I would enjoy. So I totally understand the whole yarn store issue and it probably is something bigger than just 'shitty yarn store'. It's the lack of respect for you as a person by forcing you to sit in a store you hate for hours, and in this person's case after the dentist so there was probably a bunch pain, stress, discomfort, and anxiety happening as well. It's the lack of consideration to allow you to go to a different store that you want to be in, or trying to cut their shit short. It sucks. It's total bullshit. And if I need something so bad I'll go in with a list of shit and find that exact item and leave. If I want to browse and enjoy my time I will just have to find someone to watch the babies. Maybe the husband can do it. Maybe I can pay someone. Doesn't matter, but if I really want to take my sweet ass time I should have the courtesy to my child to not force them to sit around for hours, uncomfortable, hungry, and bored.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:29:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Theres a lot more about my mom other than visits to the yarn store, but making sure I'm taken care of was not really at the top of her list of priorities.
...that's literally exactly why I started off the second paragraph with "unless she was a bad mom"
Unless this is a username gag. I don't know anymore.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:43:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know, but I felt the need to respond anyway. Growing up with a mom like mine and trying to talk about it is chalk full of unprovoked advice from either guilty kids or insecure parents and what kind of treatment I owe to my mom. I'm not upset, and I don't blame you for saying that, but I felt the need to explain
You mean, after taking time to bring you to the dentist, wait for you at the dentist, pay for you at the dentist and take you home from the dentist, all to ensure you had good care, she stopped off to get something for herself on the way home?
You're right, how selfish of her! That is absolutely a sin worthy of hate. You shouldn't have to wait for her after she's spent so much time doing something for you. She should drive you straight home like a good personal assistant.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:38:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the same woman who ignored about half of my dentist appointments, including the one for getting my retainer which meant my teeth ended up getting crooked again, had no job, and never in the 18 years I knew her once cooked or helped clean clothes or the awful house that we lived in.
Yeah, I'd have preferred the drive straight home but thats just the first on the long list of complaints I have about that woman, and she was fairly selfish.
I know it could be annoying, but as a counter point it sounds like your mom didn't have the time or ability to shop at a time that was convient for her. Having to wait a half hour for her to get supplies for a hobby isn't that big of a deal. Parents can't always go out when they want to and hobbies are usually a way to stay center and sane. If she only got to do this after things like a dentist appointment it seems silly you hold a grudge. I am sure she spent time doing things for you when she would have liked to do something else because you were more important to her.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:37:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Youd probably right for other people, and I cant expect you to know what my mom is like. But her life is nothing BUT free time
aithne1 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, she probably hated being forced to wait around during your dental appointments too. How old are you now? Hopefully almost at the age where you stop hating your mother for taking a few minutes to multitask on a trip.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:30:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No I hate my mother because shes a terrible person, but thats mostly unrelated to yarn store trips. Im 19.
MoldyCat ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:25:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then you get hit with "if this was a place you wanted to go we would not ne in a rush."
This is still a thing both my parents do. I just say "see you tomorrow."
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:26:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And she forgets one thing and leaves you to stand in line alone and doesn't come back until after you reached the checkout line having to tell people to go ahead
I used to just take everything and get to the back of the line, no reason for everyone to suffer. Plus, when she got back she had to wait in line again.
This is me and my husband. When I was on bed rest after surgery for three months we had no groceries and he tried to convince me that the store had never had a sale. In three months. They literally have sales every day.
stygyan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:56:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What did you eat for those three months? Old socks?
Take out and frozen food, mostly. I shop daily and cook a lot. I always buy meat on sale because it's too expensive otherwise, so I'm at the store every day seeing what's cheap. He never even looked, so we had no meat. I think he turned up once with a pack of pork belly for some reason and no idea what to do with it. That was the extent of the grocery shopping. But he took care of me while I was bedridden, so I shouldn't complain.
Javaed ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:57:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother would ask if either my brother or I wanted to go shopping with her. Of course we initially answered no, but after seeing how disappointed she was we just took turns after that.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:00:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hated this as a kid. Then I got old enough to drive and since my sister was younger than me I somehow was tasked with carting my sister around. My sister does the exact same freaking thing. There I am with my own car. My own hard-fought independence. No longer must I wait on my mother. Now I must spend my time waiting on my sister. And this is one of the many reasons why I will die alone.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, I'm that Mom too. Can't speak for all Moms but I don't intentionally do it. It'll start with a quick run to the grocery store to pick up a couple things. Then it's "oh we're down to 1 roll of toilet paper - better get more" and "The kids want tacos tomorrow night - guess I better grab some shredded cheese too". Suddenly $200 worth of groceries.
Then a realization hits you that your oldest starts soccer practice this week and needs new cleats. Picture day is in 2 days and your youngest needs a haircut. Your middle child has a school project that requires shit you can only find at a Hobby Lobby/Michael's. And so it just snowballs to 3 hours of errands and cranky children.
I dunno, just confessing is getting me downvoted...
Honestly, it's because I make a list of shit we need. Then I go there, and it goes like this, "oh this chicken is on sale, ooh dinner tonight if I had some potatoes and some thyme...", so I roam all over the store. But, I make bomb ass food, and everyone is patient with my flakiness.
I'm honest, because it's been like this my kid's whole life, so if I say "wanna go to the store?" he knows exactly what he's getting into.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shit my wife says that to me. I feel sorry for our kids haha
Meh moms are humans too, I do this shit with steam sales. Oh look a game I've never seen before it's only 4 dollars omg better buy it, rinse and repeat 40 times over the next 3 hours aaand I have no money or time left :( guys I think I have a problem
Gnivil ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:08:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sure but you don't force your kid to sit with you and get annoyed with him when he asks if he can stop.
My mom is the same way! It got to the point where I just drop her off and come back an hour later to pick her up. It would always be "I just need x,y, and z" and then she ends up getting 20 other things and then complains about me rushing her in the store. Now I only have to hear her complain about not helping her get stuff.
"I'll be 5 minutes" - mom comes out 3 hours later "ILL LEAVE WHEN I WANT TO LEAVE DONT RUSH ME."
'I'll be 5 minutes!' - you come out 7 minutes later - "YOU SAID 5 MINUTES WHAT THE HELL TOOK YOU SO LONG"
calgil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mum wanted to hang out with you.
a57782 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It gets even more annoying when they can't drive and rely on you to do the driving. Recently she told me she just needed to get one thing from a store, ended up taking her to 3 or 4. The next day she tells me that she forgot one thing, ended up taking her to each of the stores that I took her to the day before.
Moms of reddit, perk your ears - This type of baity / tricky bullshit is what makes your kids not want to hang out with you when they get older, in fear that "Oh, I'll just need your help for an hour" will most certainly turn into an entire evening of crap you never even mentioned.
Lol at these sheltered summer children, omg like my mom provides everything I could ever want and constantly does things to show she loves me but like sometimes I have to wait a few hours for it like wtf this is sooooo dumb.
[deleted] ยท 802 points ยท Posted at 16:38:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 364 points ยท Posted at 16:52:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
quiltr ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:02:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do the same thing, as a mom, especially with regards to the grocery store. I hate grocery shopping, so when I go in, I get exactly what's on the list and get the hell out. If my kid wants junk food and snacks, he has to come with me and pick them out while I'm doing the regular shopping.
Iorith ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:30:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the exact way until I get to the beer isle.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:11:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I never tell the kids it will only be however long. I just say come with me or not but I won't bring you back anything if you stay."
The worst thing is really the parents who sit around and talk forever and see no issue with it, but when you make them wait its tragic. Perfect example is my mom was picking me up from my friends house, and says its time to go. While im getting my stuff together she starts chatting, and she keeps talking for about 30 minutes so instead of standing around i go sit down in my friends room and keep talking. She then said it was time to go again, and I try to finish my conversation with my friend quickly and then she calls for me again because 'she said it was time to go.' Like yeah, you said that 30 minutes ago too yet you didnt move so.
My gma drags me a long so I can grab the heavy shit. Sister went shopping with aunts/ cousins my gma was like its okay you can come with me to do our own. Yeah it was a trip to sams clubs that involved a freaking flatbed cart. I had to push it, load and unload.
I'm 28 and recently watched my moms puppies for the day while she was out of town because I was promised lobster rolls when she got back. Only thing she brought back was more family members, none of which had lobsters...should've just taken the puppies lol
30something here, I'll totally go to Costco with Mom if she buys me lunch first. I have a parking placard, she wants me to come so she can park in a handicap space. Same goes for the mall.
Heck yeah! 30s here and I never pass up the opportunity for free food from the parental units. They can drag me all over town if they want, as long as I get lunch out of it! Actually,Ienjoyspendingtimewiththemnowshh...don'ttell
[deleted] ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 16:55:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Humans love spending time with their offspring. Weird, huh?
Yeah, I don't think many of these commenters realize that moms are people too. Every morning I think "I can grab coffee real quick, it'll only take a few minutes", and then I end up late.
I've just started leaving people like that behind. I can't stand chronic tardiness. Here and there? Sure, things happen. Eventide? Nope, not putting up with it. The best is when they call and ask where you are and you tell them you left without them and then they act shocked. Sorry, I said we were leaving at 1, we left at 1 and you got there around 2. Shouldn't expect someone to wait on you. Especially without even having the courtesy to call and let them know of you're going to be late. Those people make my blood boil.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And just like that, a comment goes from sexist nonsense to uninteresting observation. Amazing how easy it is.
I usually don't want the kids to come with (they are old enough for my son, 16, to watch my daughter, 6, and they get along great). It ends up taking waaaayy longer, and honestly, sometimes it's the only alone time I get during the day. But, as a parent, it's not exactly "nice" to tell your kid, "no, I don't want you to fucking come with and bug me"
Am a Mom
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:45:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm so glad you see it this way! Too many people don't, and try to make us feel guilty about it. My son gets it, and usually is great with helping out. I'd be lying if I said I didn't take advantage of this "alone time" once and a while. To sleep. Read. Get food, just for me. I'm still human, dammit!!! Not just a parent!!!
Exactly. If it is just you sometimes the kids have to come along. God forbid you get errands done (it only matters if it is something they need to) or stop to get something to do with a hobby you have.
I'm not even a mom, but I get this shit from my mom AND SO, to the point where I'm constantly being rushed, hurried, nagged, cajoled, guilted and then all out screamed at (BPD mom) that I'm taking too long. Dude, do you WANT whatever it is I'm doing done RIGHT or done FAST?! (e.g. Standing in big orange store debating/buying materials and paint to repaint all the god awful colors in the house my parents just bought.) BUT THEY ALWAYS WANT TO GO OUT WHEN I SAY IM RUNNING ERRANDS!!!! (Especially mom!)
My kids are 4. They beg to come along and I hate taking them because a quick trip for milk and eggs becomes an hour of various tantrums laced with "no I'm not buying you candy" and "don't touch the floor of the supermarket" and "don't put that gum in your mouth" and "where the heck did you get gum" and "stop poking your sister".
Then I forget the eggs.
Zoklett ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That and they don't want you to come into the store with them and they don't want to argue with you about how long it's going to take. She HOPES she'll be back in 5 minutes and saying 5 minutes will keep you from complaining until she gets far enough away she can't hear you. When she comes back an hour later, she'll deal with it then.
i used to love running errands with my mom. I was the youngest of 4 sons in a big sports family where we were always running around, so any alone time I could have with her I would leap at the opportunity. I would smile when she asked if i wanted to go grocery shopping or to the mall because I knew it would be like a half day with her.
Yup. My parents would call it "kidnapping" us. They would do it all the time for so many different reasons, it was a game to them. It was fuckin miserable for us.
My mom still does this to me and I'm 22. She'll ask me if I wanna go get food and then after we're done eating she'll be like "I just need to pick up a few things at TJ Maxx" and then we'll be in TJ Maxx for like an hour. It absolutely infuriates me.
I feel my mother running into people she knew, and talking to them, is one of the reasons I can't stand most people and dont want to associate with anyone.
Skyopp ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:17:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What parents don't understand times passes by very slowly when you are younger. Waiting 20 minutes feels like hell, waiting 3 hours is just horrible.
This happened to me too. But as an adult, I get it. The number of times I've run out to just drop something off at Goodwill or pick up something from a pharmacy but during that process realized 3-4 other things I wanted to do and now it makes sense to do them...
derefr ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:44:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Sure, by myself I do that. If I'm out with my girlfriend (who is a novelist on a deadline), we do whatever I told her we were going to do according to the schedule I originally gave her, then ask if she needs to get back to work yet. If she does, I go drop her off at home, then turn around and go back out and do all the things I forgot to do.
I guess that only really makes sense if you live in town rather than hella out into an exurb, though.
Still, my point: your time is your time to decide how to spend; someone else's time should be theirs to decide how to spend. Even a kid's time! I mean, they don't get to decide not to go to school; but I'd sure be cheesed if my parents had "scheduled" my entire summer vacations for me back then. Kids are expecting and hoping to use that time to get into all the hobby/passion projects they didn't have time or energy for during school. (I know it doesn't look like that's what they're doing, but it really does get done in amongst all the laying around watching TV and complaining about being bored. They have to psych themselves into it, sort of.)
I've stopped going to the grocery store with my mom when we visit. She's incapable of going for less than 4 hours. She and my sister are terrible. They have to go down EVERY single aisle.
Oh I straight up stopped going shopping with my mom because of it. She would need groceries and I would go on my own or let her know what I needed. I know part of it was just getting out of the house, but she took hours when she knew I had plans.
I thought my mom did that, until I got just a little bit older and I realized something. That she hated going out just as much as I hated being there. There was just always more shit she had to do that we both begrudgingly went to
It's just their way of getting us to "chill" together. I had a really bad drug experience out in California that triggered a super lucid dream of my family dying. I woke up convinced my mother had passed away, in a violent and gruesome way.
I am still coping with my Mother's mortality even now. Whenever she wants to go pull weeds in the garden, or do cross word puzzles after dinner, I do it.
I don't think she understands how woefully unprepared I am for her to die, and how scared I am of that day. Sorry, didn't mean to get all deep on ya. I'm just thankful my Mom is still around to do this to me haha.
I'm 18 and my mom still does this to me. "Oh save your gas, we'll go to the store together" "well I need to go to the blank and the pharmacy and to stop by my job real quick" Aggh
I would negotiate. I'm not coming unless we grab something to eat or unless she leaves me at chapters or gets me shoes. If she said sure, I knew it was going to take a while. If she said no, it meant she actually intended to be quick and I could make an choice based on that.
Parents do shit to their kids that would unequivocally unacceptable to do to another adult. My mom would take me on these goddamn four hour errand runs, smoke cigarettes in the truck the entire time, if my sister was with us I had to sit in the middle of the bench seat with her ashtray directly under my legs, (I would find the back of my knees caked in ashes from time to time.), then she would decide to stop at her friends house where I would have to sit there for two hours and stare at the wall pretending to not exist while they chain smoked. That entire house smelled like a wood stove, she knew I hated it because I told her every single time.
adamorn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:40:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife does this to me all the time... Goddamit, she'd make a good mom
Mom did this shit to me too. Except when I was a kid she'd leave my brother and me in the car in the boiling californian sun for hours while she was in costco, and when we'd open the door because we felt like we were going to die the alarm would obv go off and she'd come out and scold us for not staying in the car.... Thanks mom, glad you weren't worried about the potential heat stroke
Maybe we should think about some of these "lies" from mom's perspective. I bet she loved running errands. And cooking nice meals all the time! And being a taxi service!! And laundry and cleaning bathrooms and loud, annoying kids everyday!!!
I think you were joking a little and I am to (: I just thought a lot of the responses here seemed pretty unappreciative. Love your momma's up ya'll!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never had a problem going on errands, I had a problem going to the store then finding out we also had to go get gas, get paint from the hardware store, then run by the bank. If she would have just told me we were going to be doing all of those things I would have been fine, its the surprise element that annoyed me.
Don't forget when your items are getting scanned she runs off for a few minutes just to keep it exciting
yabacam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funny, I LOVED going shopping with my mother, especially when it was just her and I. I have 4 sisters so it was nice to get away from them. PLUS she'd get me a treat if I was good.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:18:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Wanna go to the mall and get lunch?" Doesn't mention the seven errands, two store returns and the full week's grocery store trip that will eat up one of my last summer days left circa 1997
derefr ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:40:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder how many kids would say yes if mom just shot from the hip with "want to keep me company as I run around town today?"
I bet it'd be less than go along with the trick, but I also imagine the ones that came along wouldn't mind nearly as much, being put in the right frame of mind.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Very true, it occurs to me now at age 34 that she just wanted someone to go with her, to spend time with me and have me keep her company and probably knew I would say no way if I knew how much was going to be involved. I feel bad for feeling irritated about it in hindsight.
Ah yes, the friend run-in. I remember when I stayed home from school one day and my mom took me on her usual routine. That's when I realized that "I run errands all day" actually meant "I run about 2 errands and spend 6 hours chatting to acquaintances".
This was my college girlfriend. "Running up to wal mart" always turned into going to the bank, dropping something off at a friends house, and then spending an hour at wal mart.
I went to high school in a small town with 2 places you could shop for groceries without having to drive into the city. My mom worked at one of those stores, and it happened to be the closest one to our house, so grocery shopping meant stopping and talking to literally everyone. To be fair this did get kinda fun when I was 16/17 though since a lot of the girls who were mean to be had parents who worked at the store which meant I heard a loooot of juice on their parents drugs, cheating scandals, general douchebaggerry, and occassional secrets on the kids, too. Never did anything with the information because I'm not an anus but it was satisfying.
Maybe I was weird but I used to love this as a kid. I liked getting out of the house for little "adventures" like that and I usually got candy out of the deal so it wasn't half bad
When we were at my grandparent's house, my mom would always pull the "kids, get out of the pool! We're leaving." Get out of the pool, dry off, go inside, and then sit on the couch for 20 minutes while Mom talks.
I always got away from coming with her by telling her she would do exactly this. Lo and behold, she actually only gets milk, because we were too poor to actually go full on shopping.
arenalr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just realized this isn't only my mother that does this. Whenever she says wanna come? I always went along, because if I wasn't there the 1.5 hours would have always turned into 3 hours
Torcal4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And that's why to this day, I have very little desire to hang out with my mom. She did that shit all the time when I was a kid. Im not mad, but I think it had a negative impact on me subconsciously.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well with Pokemon go being so popular that it is, I don't think this will be a problem anymore :P
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always lures me in with "lunch and a quick trip to the store" what she doesn't tell me is the store is Costco.
Back when cars all had vinyl seats, no A/C and many had only AM radio.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My family called these "football minutes." It says a minute on the clock, but you know it's going to take 15 to play through.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am grown and my mother still does this. (I know, I still go out to places with my mother because she is not married any more and lonely) At least now when she stops to talk to that friend I can just keep walking.
My mom did this to a friend. She picked us up at school, an easy 15 minute walk from home for both of us, and made us ride with her while she ran errands in another county, taking hours. I was mortified.
Suihaki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife does this. I now ask specifically, before I answer if I'll go, if there are any other stops we are making or if there are any other plans besides just going to this one store for just this.
I can guarantee you that when you were a whiney little toddler, you took forever to learn to pee in the potty, you tried every single way but the one that works to put a jacket on and you took exactly a million years to chew your goddamn food at every single meal. Your mom earned herself some grocery store time.
Well considering my older sister potty trained me and my mom wasn't present in my life until I was 5, I'm gonna go with a no on that. But on behalf of everyone who did have a very present and loving, potty-training, jacket-putting-onning mother: it was a joke. It's funny because everyone remembers being an impatient child out running errands with mom. It's funny because it's relateable and a common trait in parents. No one is saying that spending time shopping makes you a bad mom. But just like parents complain about how difficult having a toddler is, their children complain about errand running. That's good stuff though, I'm going to remember that next time someone says something funny about the trials of raising a toddler. I'm gonna follow a "My kid keeps missing the toilet" post with "Oh yeah well someday they're gonna be really pissed about going grocery shopping with you!"
Xvexe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only one friend? My mom seems to know every god damn person on the face of the planet for some reason.
But it's all just an excuse to sirens time with her child.
rngtrtl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my wife (then GF) tried to pull this shit on me...Once...I dont appreciate being lied to and gave her a heads up no more of that shit. Never happened again on purpose.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's worse when your mom runs a very popular local Facebook group and gets recognized every, single, time we go to Publix.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum's disabled so I often still go out with her. She does this all the time, and it wears my sanity down I swear. This one time she got me to carry this large ass box all the way to the shop to return (after I carried it to the car, then to home after last time) before she realised she left the reciept at home. Walk back to the car with it, take her back home, get the reciept - oh wait! I forgot I need to write a letter to so and so, let me quickly do that. 20 minutes later we're searching for the stamps for about 10 minutes until I said I'll just go buy some more
Half way through carrying it back she told me she needs to go to the dry cleaners - so I sighed. So she just says "okay, forget it, just take me back home" and refuses to let me take it back. That day was just the classic example of this.
Sorry, you just got my daily wall - I always write one after firing up a bowl.
Mom will do this and not stop for food. I used to get so sick ecause I would be walking around with no breakfast and it is 3pm and we are still out. As I kid I was helpless. Now I have two young kids so if we go out I tell her we either have to stop first or I will stop everything and get my kids food. When you are hypoglycemia and have not had food and water all day it is a problem. The lack of water was probably the bigger factor. Those stores can get really fucking stuffy. I take snacks and drinks if I go anywhere with her so I can make sure the kids get a break when they need it.
a-r-c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
to be fair, everything seems like it takes FOREVER when you're a kid and the hours just melt away as an adult
so an hour long trip to the supermarket is a small errand to mom and a loathsome eternity to little timmy
Jaerba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then she wonders why you prefer shopping with dad, when it takes 30 minutes and you get more junk food out of it.
My mom always did this and promised a mcdonalds stop in there too. Just never told me mcdonalds was the last fucking stop. Now my fiance fucking does this to me and she thinks its cute when i get frustrated by it.
Story of my life, except replace "wanna come?" with "let's go."
There was no choice in the matter.
I dreaded going to the store for that reason, and as I got older and more independent I realized that that's how it was always going to be. My mom retaliated by being honest up front about exactly where we would be going and why she needed me to come along...and then not actually needing me for anything. Alternatively, by high school, "hey, I'll treat you to lunch" or "want to go to the hobby store?" Of course I couldn't say no to free food or free perusal of model trains, so I said yes. Then walking out of the restaurant getting into the car to go home, "oh yeah, I just have to stop by the grocery store real quick." Here we goooooooooooo...
Yes and if you ever complained you'd get hit with "I even took you out to lunch and you have the nerve...". If my mom ever let me go to a hobby store or check out something I wad interested she would always rush me, too.
My dad did this all of the time. My brother and I learned to set the errand terms before we left so we'd have the same understanding of what to expect.
Hey I'm running to the store for some milk, wanna come?
Oh man, this one hits home. My parents would always ask me if I wanted to run errands with them, but I was always afraid to say no so I would always end up running around town for hours on end. Then when I actually manage to work up the courage to say that I'm in the middle of something, I always got hit with a massive shitstorm about how I was wasting away my life on the computer and needed to get out more. Well guess what Mom, if it's a choice between sitting in a chair for five hours while you do hair, and sitting in a chair for five hours doing something I actually enjoy, I'm gonna chose to have fun.
Back in the dark days before DVR this was the worst for me. I'd stop watching a show to go somewhere "really quick" and just miss the whole thing to do something boring.
thats why when i was a kid i would rather wait in the car til she got back and my mom would be like ok but just to be safe we better roll up the windows and lock these doors. try getting away with that these days
I used to get in trouble for asking if we could stop and eat somewhere because according to my mom just because we were around restaraunts didn't mean we had to eat there and I needed more self-control.
And then when you get home she's mad and cranky because surprise surprise she's hungry.
say592 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother in law still does this to my wife and I. I make it a point to never ride in her car, because if I do, chances are she is going to want to stop off and pay her credit card balance, pickup a new pair of shoes across town, buy dog food, then maybe we can all go out to dinner like she promised three hours ago.
My mom used to take me and my sisters to TJ Max while she shopped. I remember it being sunny when we walked in and we always left several hours later in the night. I hate TJ Max
I do this all the time and I don't feel even a smidgen of guilt. It's sometimes the only way I can get my 6 yr old on his own, away from video games or toys or other distractions and actually talk with him. NO RAGRETS.
Yeah, but it's still an opportunity to spend time with your mother. I should've gone with her, even though I knew she was lying, and now I just miss her.
"I'll only be 5 minutes" as my mum walks in to a shop, and meets every single person she has ever known in there leaving me in the car for what felt like an eternity.
I now believe 5 minutes in Mum time equates to about 30 minutes in actual human time
TheTyke ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:40:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh God, I hope the Horse was ok. Poor thing. Shouldn't be making them work.
DdCno1 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:20:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shouldn't be making them work.
That's why they are bred. Not every farmer in the world can afford a tractor.
TheTyke ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 19:58:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't agree with making animals work. Could make the exact same argument you made with slaves. Various farmers make do without animals or machinery, especially in India etc.
DdCno1 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:04:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Using animals for work and as companions is an intrinsically human behavior, unlike slavery. Every human society on Earth has used animals and they are vital to the livelihood of a significant part of humanity. This was not the case with slavery, not to mention it being entirely different from using other less sentient species.
Citing farmers who are too poor to be able to afford animals or machines as a counter point is at best highly dishonest. It's not like they are doing well.
TheTyke ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 20:13:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How is slavery not an intrinsic human behaviour lol? It's been prevalent throughout all of human history and only very, very recently has it been abolished (mostly).
Also, what on Earth is a "less sentient" species? Not only do you need to learn the difference between sentient and sapient, but you need to realise they're not less of either.
The Jains and many other Dharma religions spring to mind when it comes to not using animals.
Actually slavery would probably be cheaper because Animals tend to be better taken care of than slaves, and slaves are easier to replace than a good horse/cow/elephant.
TheTyke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:36:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Animals tend to be better taken care of than slaves"
They're not. At all. It's just a lot of people are ignorant or turn a blind eye towards mistreatment and over-working of animals. We're just more aware of our behaviour and actions towards humans than animals.
Am I the only one who still prefers a crank though? I mean you can always roll the windows up or down even if the door is open and the car is off, they never break, and it's just satisfying to give the window a good crank
I haven't either, I'm on number 4, all of mine have been fairly long lived. 1977 CJ7, 1995 S10, 1998 ford ranger, 2005 Jeep Wrangler. The CJ lasted through the rest of the vehicles, I had it up until about 6 months ago when it was stolen and totaled, it was obviously my baby and my favorite. The newer jeep suffices for now, but I had both of them at the same time. Hell, my CJ had zip up windows, no radio, AC, and lap belts and no head rests. And it was my favorite even still.
Really I went to roll up a crank window in a friends car, and it shattered inside the door. Also went to roll the window down in my dad's old car and it stuck.
You've not been looking. Even brand new cars can still have crank Windows. As well as how many old cars are still on the road. I have and prefer crank Windows, I don't even have power door locks, I drive a 2005 for context.
Not if mom forgets to leave the keys and the car alarm starts going off when you try to roll them down. This then alters the child's perceived time. So mom may say "5 min," it may only be 30 min total, but it feels like an hour at least.
fmmmlee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom bought me Wendys once and told me to sit in the car while she goes into Macys for a bit. It was summer and she told me she would be in and out, 5 minutes. I spent an hour in the heating car waiting for her to come back before going in to find her myself. Oh yeah, forgot to mention that the windows were rolled all the way up, so I got a free tan.
to be fair, when I tell my wife I am only going to be five minutes taking a dump I reddit for at least 20 minutes. No one can shitpost that quick, get real.
I'd just start causing trouble until she either left or did her shit quickly. I was normally an easy kid, but you don't need to stare at the same dress for 2 hours.
wbotis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:02:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL: moms run on Dragon Ball Z time.
"I don't know much about planets, but if I had to venture a guess, I'd say this one has about five minutes."
30 minutes? I vividly remember one time my mother telling me she was going to be "just a few minutes" and I ended up waiting in the car for 4 hours, then she couldn't understand why I was so upset. This was before everyone had a cellphone so I didn't even have anything to keep me occupied.
This is why i always hated family reunions. Family is awesome, but when weve been socializing for the past 6 to 7 hours then its a little much to take 15 mins saying goog bye when its time to go
dexie_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Honey, I am going to the store, it will take only 5 minutes! Please, stir the soup every 30 minutes."
HBlight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing worse than realising your mom just bumped into a friend. Fuck that is a horrible hostage situation. In hindsight, they are probably starved for adult socialisation, so while understandable, it does little to stop the horrid boredom myself and my siblings experienced.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in the opposite direction. I tell them that I'll be there 5 minutes after I'm going to be there... just habits from work I guess.
My equation for mom time was always 3x whatever she said
Quw10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And that is why whenever my stepmom wanted me to go somewhere with her I'd bring a book/gameboy, or whatever I could use to keep me entertained in the car even if we were supposed to just go 1 place.
How about when she comes to pick you up at a friends house, tells you to come downstairs NOW because "we have to go run errands on the way home." Then she proceeds to chat with your friends mom for 20 minutes while you wait with your friend by the door. And every time you'd try to go back upstairs to play, she'd shoo you back because "we're really going in just a minute."
I'm pretty sure this is in general a female thing. My ex always told me she'd be ready in a couple minutes. Nope, after a half hour I'd still be sitting in the kitchen while she's getting ready.
Chinese here. Was chased with a cleaver for missing out a page in a math exam. For the record i still scored 85 out of 100. She was just mad that i missed out a page. Good times good times.
At least your mom came. I spent a lot of time calling her and waiting for nothing before making the 5 mile walk home. Then she would wake up from her nap when I made it home and Bitch at me for walking.
I set my alarm on my phone, and sometimes my charging port bugs out and just stops working, so my phone dies in the middle of the night and doesn't charge
me1505 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:33:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a problem that no one else is ever going to really care about enough to let you use that as a valid reason for being late. If it's really a problem they do make cheap alarm clocks that have buzzers
Its an excuse because it happens. The real solution is to set two alarms on two devices (hotel wake up call and cell phone, or real alarm and cell phone), but doing that is a super pain in the butt. You do it for things where 99% success rate doesn't cover it (Big Job Interview, Getting Married, Father's Surgery). You don't do it for minor things (Tuesday morning at the office). I've had power outages that fried/reset real alarms, cell phones that haven't charged correctly, wake-up calls that have gone to the wrong room, or simply slept through the alarm (set 2 3AM alarms and slept through both, so tired). It happens, and is a valid excuse 1-2x/year (99% success rate).
yup, Suntzu's got it. it's easy to keep an alarm set on your phone. Because that shit's always set up. And then setting one on your bedside is pretty easy, too. But like you said, power outages, But I know in America anyway we don't have power outages enough to really need to worry about that. Maybe in Cali..? I haven't lived there though, but I live in midwest and we hardly have outages
I live in FL, and its not common to have an outage, but it does happen. Last week my AC broke overnight, tripped its breaker, which tripped the master house breaker and cut power to the house. I have solar panels, but had already pumped all the power to the grid. No biggie, just had to reset everything, but all the clocks got reset.
On the 4th of July, we had an outage on my street for an hour or so around ~8PM. They were fixing it while everyone was watching fireworks.
I'm not saying that it is common, but it does happen often enough for it to be a legit excuse. The only defense against the "slept through my alarm / alarm didn't go off" is to set a backup alarm (ideally on battery power), and doing that every day is a huge pain.
Only way to determine that is to determine the what "sometimes" means in the poster's comment. Sometimes as in sometimes in a week, sometimes in a month, sometimes in a year charger doesn't work?
All very different. IF it's sometimes in a week or month, I would spring for an actual separate alarm clock.
That's true. My experience tells me like 5 times in my lifetime. For me, I'd get a extra just for appointments that are important like the above user said.
My dad sets his alarm to be the radio, and one day that radio station was off the air and the static wasn't loud enough to wake him up. Thankfully he was in a job that didn't care much if he was occasionally late, but it was pretty funny still.
That happened to me a bunch of times, I couldn't figure out what the deal was. Even got a new alarm clock.
Turns out, I was sleep turning off my alarm before it even went off. I would roll over at like 3am, click it off and go back to bed. I only found out because one night I grabbed it in my sleep and woke up holding it unplugged from the wall. I move my alarm further away now and it works great
Iorith ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:34:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In Florida it's a common excuse because of how often it storms and knocks out power.
My dad used to pull this shit, blaming it on trains. By the time I was in high school I knew someone who lived close enough to his route and the tracks that I could call him on his shit.
Turns out that trains are as long as it takes to finish up at the bar.
Time to start 'subtly' quizzing her with question from early-onset dementia tests. After asking her to identify an elephant, remember a list of three objects for 7 minutes, and drawing 11:00 on an empty clock picture - she might catch on.
You can make most older people change behavior if you imply it might be related to some age-related memory issue. A quick whisper to your kids saying, "Grandma doesn't MEAN to lie honey, but she is getting older and can't think the way she used to. Don't make her feel bad about it; we need to be compassionate for people her age."
Well, let her cry! Hand her a kleenex. It's not as if tears are toxic (although she might be).
Ah, in that case you might want to check out the /r/raisedbynarcissists link (for your spouse) - there are lots of other N related links on the side. And for yourself, you can check out:
Oh it's deliberate. I've been in the car with her when she's told people "yep, we're 30 minutes away" and we're still in Wisconsin on our way to Chicago. That's at least 1 hr to North side suburbs.
n3xg3n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For an added bonus, lean over and whisper to kids you don't have
Sanamia ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 17:55:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend that often calls when he's late. Usually he says: I'm looking for a parking spot right now.
We all know it means he hasn't even left the house yet and it's a 40 minute drive or so.
I know people like this. Why do they do it? Are they afraid to admit the truth: they're chronically unpunctual, and work on that fault? It's like they don't want to be viewed as liable for their own bullshit even though they know they're being pretty damn transparent.
80Eight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no!
I show up places on time and then have a really hard time finding parking in the city. I might have to start getting photographic proof or something.
My good friend does this. I care about her a lot so I put up with it and she's never ever going to change. Last time we went out she told me she was 5 minutes away and didn't show up for almost an hour.
I agreed to meet a friend's family at a splash pad near their house (10 minutes from their house, 45 minutes from my house.) I called her to let her know we were on our way, and she said she would probably be there before we were. After playing at the splash pad for over an hour with my kids (and they didn't show), we left and went to breakfast. Fifteen minutes later, they call and ask where we were... I'm not going to wait forever anymore. If someone doesn't respect my time, I'm not going to make an effort to stick around when they're late.
Good point. I am selective about when I feel like waiting & when I don't. On this particular occasion, I was perfectly fine sitting alone since my friend was bartending. Otherwise, I would have been peeved.
I have a friend that is the same. It's the worst but she's never going to change. We're all going on a trip together at the end of the month and the nightmares i'm getting about missing my flight to glorious Colorado are becoming an every night thing.
DougSTL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend that used to always pull that shit. I just started lying to him saying we needed to be ready to go, or be at a place an hour before we actually did. We were on time, every time.
My MIL also does this and it pisses me off to no end. Then when she finally arrives she always blames it on FIL needing to stop for different things. Like, OK, but why did you have to lie EVERY FREAKING TIME we called and asked where you were/how much longer you would be?
We lived with them for a while, we learned how it actually worked. FIL was NOT the issue, all you had to do for him was say you're leaving at 30 minutes earlier than the actual time and he'd be ready. MIL just has no foresight, is lazy, and thinks lying to people is better than just honestly saying "we're running late"
My MIL is always 5 minutes away when she is on her broom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My ex did this. "I'm leaving now." Leaving means that you're walking out your door. It does not mean "starting to get ready" or "watching a quick video on YouTube and then putting my shoes on and grabbing my things and then walking out the door." I hated when I pulled in front of his apartment and he said, "Come upstairs first," because then I knew it would probably take us another 20-30 minutes to leave. He had no sense of time unless it was for a scheduled appointment with a doctor or something along those lines.
Zequl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I call 15 minutes before I have to leave
emm938 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum did this the day I was coming back into the country from my first solo trip abroad at 17. I called her from the airport and she said she was on her way. 2 hours later she rocks up and it turns out she was still in bed when I rang.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Did you ever think she was traveling at almost the speed of light, so that five minutes to her is thirty to you?
This is my mom exactly. Except that we share a car.
"Hey, wanna hang out tonight?!"
"Yeah! When?"
"Be at my house at seven!"
Gets off of work at 530
Mom: Stop at the grocery store real quick
Mom: And Walgreens
It's 7:50 by the time I drop her off back home
Mom:. Where do you think you're going (even after she told me yes)?! Take off the trash before you go hang out!
Takes off trashTexts friend at 815
"Hey, where do I need to meet you?"
"You're always late, so I made back up plans with X"
Yeah, it's totally my fault :(
Sorry for the rant but yeah
My father in law was invited over to our house for dinner. My wife was making dinner and he was late. Well, I was driving home from work and saw his car parked in front of a tavern. I proceeded home.
He showed up and told us that there was a traffic jam.
Busted.
KT_ATX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My MIL does the exact same thing. I would much prefer she tell me the truth so Im not sitting killing time on my phone. I could be getting some coffee, finishing an errand, doing whatever the hell I want cause its my time shes wasting, etc.
FAHQRudy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
sigh This is all too familiar to me.
octodrew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:07 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my wife does this but i think she has no concept of time and distance. i called her to be picked up from the train station and she said she would be ten minutes. i asked her where she was and figured out the driving time+traffic and said see you in 45. she turned up 43 minutes later, gave her the biggest told you so look.
Nyrb ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 18:01:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
derefr ยท -32 points ยท Posted at 17:52:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
EDIT: Arguing about gender on reddit? I'm outta here!
Let's take a step back. The point I wanted to make is that people with lower spacial-reasoning skills can't translate as well from looking at a map to an intuition about the distance and the time that distance will take to traverse.
My own spacial-reasoning skills are shit. I can sort of guess how long it will take to go down a straight-shot highway with no trafficโbut when I consider the "squiggly line" through city traffic I would take to get somewhere in town, I have absolutely no sense of how long that will take if I haven't driven that exact route before at that exact time of day. I can do mental arithmetic involving speeds and distancesโif I know the actual distanceโbut not fast enough to be able to answer someone when they ask how long I'll be. I would, like the parent commenter's mom, have to just make up some bullshit answer. (I try to make it at least an overestimate rather than an underestimate, though.) Usually, though, I check everywhere I'm going on my phone's map, and get the time estimate from there, because that lets me plan.
That's what I was saying: your mom (and other moms) might be like that. A lot of people might be like that. The androgen thing was mainly thrown in as a hypothesis for why people never have this complaint about dads.
See this is the problem with having a little bit of knowledge. It causes people to stretch the random trivia they know into bullshit excuses that justifies their belief.
Or, people shouldn't lie about being "on their way right now", when they're not even in their shoes, and visibly doing non-going things! My first contact with this behaviour was an overworked guy at college.
Dumbass Dan... IF YOU'RE NOT ON YOUR WAY, HERE'S AN IDEA: DON'T FUCKING TELL A GIRL YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY, YOU FUCKING WORTHLESS SCUMBAG INSULT TO THE HUMAN RACE! AND I FUCKING TOLD YOU THAT TEXTING ON THE DAN RYAN WAS DANGEROUS, YOU BRAIN DAMAGED FUCKWIT!
Whew... that felt good.
Edit: There is only 'right now', and it means at that instant in time, and 'right now-right now' is a farce! Are you 3?! What kind of moron needs to say 'instantaeously, but not instantaneously'? How about you learn to speak English, you snivelly pasty ghoul!? There is nothing beyond 'right now', unless you use future perfect tense. I'm told we speak the same language? Fine, I'll put aside my nascent tribalism, and engage you as an equal. Only to find, that you not only have some sort of joke version of my language, don't think my sense of humour is funny, and I'm crammed into a deathcube with a basically inebriated teenager on crack at the wheel, and he's texting, while swerving along at what may as well be Warp 5 to me, and then I'm told that my only safety net, going to a free, caring, emergency ward, is forever locked out of my reach, and I'm less safe than stuck in bear country without a gun? And yelling and screaming will only distract you more, and I have to shut up and pray to an empty space that doesn't hear my thoughts, that I do NOTHING, to ensure my survival? No. Fuck that, fuck you, fuck your friends, fuck your uninsured shitbox of a car, fuck your system, fuck your city, fuck your slums, fuck your society, fuck your boring bland money, fuck your flag, and fuck the madness that brought me to such a hellhole!
Note: I recognise that just like Canada, the United States has many diverse cultures, and many outlooks of government's role in life, and that the flag of one person is not the flag of them all(Okay, yes it is, but I'm not down on USA as a whole; please understand that this is major catharsis, and that I've gone through many personality changes, a change in gender expression, and while I'm a pagan Commie now, back then I was a fundy Baptist neo-conservative. I was as much a kid, but the horror of that shock was part of my journey.) Nothing will ever supplant the sublime feeling of relief, when I finally saw a Canadian flag again, in MI, and when I crossed the border into my own home. Home is different for everybody. While I am still hostile to the idea of having to pay for care, I am not trying to shit on you Americans as a whole: disagreements or not, we are, for better or for worse, figuratively conjoined for life.
Yep. I had literally just been told that Americans didn't have free healthcare. I now hate Chicago, and everything surrounding it. Fuck that horrifying place.
In the back seat of a Chevy Priszm, for a culture-shocked Winnipegger that has just been told that the overworked, overtired, texting college kid piloting us around at 60mph can't afford to go to the most basic medical care - an emergency ward. And I was stuck in that hellhole. Fuck that whole situation so much.
are you stupid? You really think women don't understand time rofl
derefr ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:08:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not women, people who for some reason or another didn't get much androgen-exposure. Like me!
And not time; space. Try to just eyeballโno tracing with your finger or anythingโhow long it will take to drive along the random sort of curled-up-squiggly-line route people usually drive to get places in a city. Go to google maps, plug in a start and end point, and try it yourself, without looking at the numbers in the sidebar.
If you've never driven somewhere before, and you can't intuit the distance to that place from where you are, then you have nothing to translate to an ETA.
Spacial reasoning is needed to 1. create abstract models of spacial objects in your mind (like picturing your route as a the squiggly line on a map, rather than as a sequence of place-memories), and 2. "flatten" that squiggly line out to estimate how long it is. Better spacial reasoning means better distance estimating. That's the point I wanted to make.
(Also, remember that we're all talking about what our moms did when we were kids, here. Our parents didn't have smartphones or in-car nav systems to do the estimating for them. They had, at most, a paper map, and that wouldn't get pulled out unless you got lost.)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
derefr ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:19:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
If people are arguing about science, it's kind of hard to make any kind of conclusive argument without using science words.
Also, something I notice: when I post in, say, /r/cogsci, talking to the actual experts on these topics, I don't get downvoted. But whenever I post in a default subreddit like /r/askreddit or /r/funny, I get super-duper downvoted no matter what I'm talking about, and no matter how uncontroversial a subject.
I think people are downvoting me because the first words it comes to mind for me to type are ten-dollar ones? I'm trying to goof off and relax after work; I don't have the concentration to come off as anything other than a grad student talking to other grad students.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*I don't have the concentration to treat people like they aren't uniform cogs that fit in my narrative machine.
derefr ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:01:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly don't. Which is, you know... a thing. Especially a thing for autistic people (I'm not one of those); it's exhausting to have to do non-default social things completely consciously all day in order to not be yelled at and made fun of. Also people with ADHD (I am one of those); it's very easy to run out of executive function at some point during the day, and then you're stuck hoping that you can get away with your default behaviors without anyone calling you a lazy fuck for not putting in the effort to perceive and signal that you care about all their subcultures and identities while talking to them.
citing wiki doesn't count as a source, and also you specified women in your post when there was no reason to. Also no one in their right mind would guess a drive that takes 30 minutes will take 5. They are just lying for whatever dumb reason. I think it's more of a culture thing, my boyfriends whole family does it. Drives me insane
It could be a cultural thing. It could be that mothers are generally the ones running the errands. It's very hard to have any clear idea, given how much people vary on an individual level.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Women, right? They're so stupid they don't understand time.
Come on, dude.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:13:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Why weren't you standing outside waiting on me when I arrived?
I don't know Mom, have you considered that it's 15 degrees out here and I called you 45 minutes ago and it's a 7 minute drive to the school?
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:15:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was the younger sibling so I got left places ... A LOT. The worst part? She would actually tell me she fell asleep, she just forget to come and get me, she forgot I left the the house. Kind of gives you a complex after a while.
It was track practice... and she did sometimes say things like "you could have just ran home, too!" I'm kind of surprised I didnt tbh since I was so embarrassed of our old copper colored station wagon that barely ran.
This thread has made me realize how happy I am to be an adult
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:53:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
dibblah ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:42:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. I was in the school netball team and was actually pretty good. My teacher wanted me to try out for the city team. But I got kicked out "for my own safety" because nobody ever came to pick me up from matches.
Why didn't you just carpool with someone? I had friends on my soccer team that my mom would take home with us if they didn't have a ride.
dibblah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My school was in town, I lived in a village. Day to day, I caught the school bus, but of course that wasn't available for out of school hours. I was the only one from my village on the team.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:43:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I could feel my heart breaking when I read that last sentence.
I would have to make sure to tell my parents to be there to pick me up like 15 minutes before I was finished. that usually worked out to them being there right as I was getting done
Omg my mom did this too! Such utter bullshit. I'll never let this go I'll keep bitching about it to her. I hated waiting for her and felt so awkward and people would offer me rides and I would decline bc my rides almost here... Eventually i did accept some rides just to Spite my mom and she would be so mad but so worth it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:56:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happens to my friend all the time. I feel awful for her, it took her dad 2 hours to finally pick her up. Now that I've got my license she'll call her dad habitually and then a half hour later call him again to say she's good after my insistence to just let me give her a ride instead :(
We had a friend like this in high school. Kickbacks on friday nights, usually everyone would head out around 9, but his parents wouldnt come til 10, or even 11 sometimes. Even when he called before 9.... :( We used to get so mad at his parents for that.
sjmiv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least you got a ride home. I think I waited 2 hours for my parents to pick me up one time. It didn't help that the only clothes I had were my soccer shorts and shirt and off course a shitty windstorm kicked in.
I have never done this to my kids. My younger one has this deep seated fear of abandonment and I don't know where it comes from. He's always been like that. If I showed up one minute late in the pickup line, he would melt down into sobs, convinced I was dead and never coming to fetch him. Even when he was too young to tell time. He told me once, "You always come get me before Jesse's mom picks him up and Jesse's mom already came and you weren't here!" He freaked out. I have never once failed to pick him up on time, never left him anywhere, never. No idea what the root of that anxiety is but because I don't want him in therapy all his adult life, I always pick him up when I say I will.
I feel for you. My dad has a terrible memory and cell phones weren't common when I was in junior high. I started walking home after a recital. I lived 45 minutes from the school. Eventually my mom asked me dad where I was, and by that point it was past midnight and I was walking.
My mom was supposed to pick me up from karate practice at 6:00 pm. At 6:30 I called to make sure she remembered. She did. She was dropping off her clients (she was a real estate agent) and then she would be on her way. It was okay cause I just took another karate class. Well then 7:30 rolled around. I called again. "The studio closes at 8:00. Are you going to be here?" She said she was on her way. Well then 8:00 arrived and the assholes didn't wait with me. I was 12 years old and just sitting on the fucking curb in my karate outfit. I walked around a grocery store for a while because it was lit. I didn't have a cell phone so I kept having to call from customer service. At 9:30 my mom finally showed up. I asked her if I could have the commission from the house her clients bought. She actually ended up putting it in to a mutual fund for me.
This is just fucked up, I'm sorry. My mom was the one whose keys you could hear jingling outside the classroom 10 minutes before the bell went off in elementary school, and she was the one sitting in the truck with a book waiting for me during my lacrosse days. I never had to stand around like that. That sucks. (What was her excuse? Or was there one?)
I was THE LAST kid in my grade to be old enough to drive, but even that late on, I still always saw friends or even just acquaintances standing outside, getting ready to be kicked off campus since they were "loitering," whose parents had done that shit. I went to a magnet school (speciality HS outside of the area I would have normally gone) so I had about a 17 mile commute home, and would likely pass this person's house at some point anyway. So I was forever toting folks around in my big hillbilly truck, I didn't mind at all.
My coach had to give me a ride home... got there and both parents thought the other one was supposed to get me (He gave them a piece of his mind). I got to listen to them yelling at each other the rest of the night (I hated it when they yelled at each other and they were particularly loud with their voices this time).
p0537 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That happened to me once, I was on a soccer field, for one entire hour, basically locked up. I called my mother a good 5 times and she always said that "she would be right there". I watched everyone exit, except myself. The coach just turns to me and goes: "Well, you're the last. I had to piss 10 mins in there, considering I was 6, I peed myself. Bad bladder I guess. 5 mins after I piss myself, she's there. God dammit mom.
Xeo8177 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can relate. I never had enough time to get between classes and to use my locker, so I always had to lug around a 40+ pound backpack in school. Luckily, I only lived a mile away, but I would frequently have to make the slow crawl home with half of my own body weight strapped to my back after waiting an hour for a car to show up. Was always the same story walking in the front door. Snoring loud enough to wake the neighbors and an empty vodka bottle next to the couch. Got fed up one day and dumped a pitcher of water on her while she was in that state. Good times :\
Mom shows up, you aren't their, police come knocking on the door, mother balling her eyes out and now with a vendetta against the Male coach to which mother ran ever possible scenario of child molester through their skull. But an hour ago they were stand up guy.
It was so embarrassing being the last kid picked up for every single after school event.
I remember one time I waited almost 2 hours for my mom to pick me up from a school trip. It was 9 o'clock at night and the band director had been sitting and waiting with me. Finally I called my grandmother and she came and picked me up right away. I got yelled at so badly by my mom for "embarrassing her in front of her mother like that".
hse97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know right. After cross country practice Id ask my mom to come pick me up since I didn't want to walk or run any more than i already had. But some times it would take close to an hour for her to come pick me up. We lived less than 3 miles away from the house. I have even walked home from practice after getting annoyed with waiting for her after 40 minutes only to find she hasn't even left the house yet. What's the point in me even asking you if I have to wait half an hour to an hour for you to drive three miles down two straight roads.
Yeah and your rich attractive friends with perfect lives have their mom's waiting right outside the door in there monstrous SUV of choice with a god damned Capri sun! 15 yrs later I'm still salty.
Once there was a holiday on the middle of the week, and school had to close that day. So that students didn't fall back on their classes ( like one day could do any damage to the treasurer's schedule...) school decided open on a Saturday. Fast forward to says Saturday, my classes end and my sister's classes end too. I was about 11 and she was 13, but a hell lot more mature than me. She says: Wait for mom here, she'll get you like always
Well, I then wait for mom there as my older sister goes to get bff's house with said bff's mother, what could go wrong, right?
Well, what my sister forgot and my mother didn't tell me was that I was supposed to go with them to my sister's bff's house too. When her mother got there, my sister told them that mom going to get me, and, as my sister was older and a hell lot more responsible than me, they believed her in a heart beat.
As it was Saturday, everyone had already left school in about 50 minutes and I was alone. It was 1:00 PM, I was hungry, sad, but like a loyal puppy, I stood there, in front of school, waiting for my mom. By that time, the director was just finishing closing some gates and saw me. She asked what I was doing, I told her I was waiting my mom and she said that I could eat with her and the other sisters ( I studied at a Cristian school, full of those ladies that I don't know the name in English). I go there and wile I eat, she calls my mom (I studied there already for about 5 years and my other older sister studied for 8 there, they knew my family really well).
In the end I ate at their food, my sister got in trouble from both moms and I got to be in the good side of the school director until I finished it, saving from a lot of trouble
Walk to your mom's work and look for her car the whole time only to make it all the way to her work office to see her surprised and then shocked face as she realizes she forgot to pick you up at noon and it's already 3pm.
My mom does this so much that when I started driving my sister and I made a deal. If I'm more than 20 min late I owe her Starbucks and an apology. If she doesn't give me a few hours notice she does the same for me.
My mom would do that but then would insist that she had to pick me up. Then when I told her the coach was mad for having to wait around with me she would yell at me like it was my fault baseball practice was done at 7 and not 8
I'm not a parent yet, but I have a hard time understanding how some parents can be so irresponsible to their children. What kind of example are they setting? Isn't the kid kind of on their mind all the time, or is offspring not wired to be as important as I thought?
Hobbs54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a job on weekends in high school and needed a ride. I would be dropped off OK by my mom or older brother because I made sure I got their on time. Then I would call to remind then when I was getting off work and would wait for them to arrive. Call again after waiting 30 to 45 minutes and they would show up after about an hour. Third time that happened my dad raised holy hell saying "He has been responsible enough to get a job in the first place, so stop treating him like a second class citizen!" My dad could be pretty cool at times.
My dad was a soccer coach when I was little and this happened a lot. Except he didn't drive kids home. He called their parents and waited while the kid and I hung out for a while, then told the parent off out of earshot of their kid. It not always legally safe for a dad to drive another kid home anymore, even with his own kid in the car, and the asshole parent doesn't deserve to get a free driver for their kid.
ersal ยท 1884 points ยท Posted at 15:25:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Especially when they leave you waiting in line at the grocery store. The panic that used to go through me as a kid as you get closer to the front wasn't fun.
kennyl ยท 1282 points ยท Posted at 16:35:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Alright, NEXT."
"Um, Mom? Mom? Moooooooom?"
"NEXT!"
Aayin ยท 670 points ยท Posted at 16:50:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
This pretty much sums up my childhood.
Edit: I can seriously feel the anxiety of it twenty years later.
This still happens to me if Im ever dragged along to the supermarket. To save myself embarrassment I just end up paying for the damn groceries. But when I was a kid Id like, pack the items real slow as they were coming through the conveyor belt and they were getting scanned.
Aayin ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:34:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I wonder if having you pay was the long-term plan after all.
I would also put things on slowly and send my brother to go find my mother. I knew if her precious baby boy stepped away from the cart, she would appear. It worked roughly 2/3 of the time.
The other times I would simply have an awkward conversation with the cashier and refused to look at the angry stares of the patrons behind us.
And me - and she still does it. If she's not back in time she can wait at the back of the line as I'll have paid and packed already. I ain't keeping a queue waiting for one item....
rtx447 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:34:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the opposite now, it feels so awkward waiting in line, especially of someone starts talking to me.
Aayin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:39:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's the heavy feeling of "this is what my life has come to."
Your life can be awesome, but as soon as you step into artificial light of a poorly disguised food warehouse, the dutiful feeling of "adulting" takes over.
That totally happened to me but here's a worse experience that I had. I visited a friend in China and went shopping with his mom and him. We were at the checkout and there was a line behind us, and they left to go pick something up. The lady rang up all the items and then we just sort of looked at eachother. I don't know enough Chinese to explain it, and she didn't know English, so I just had to stand there for what seemed like an eternity.
Aayin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no.
Torvaun ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:14:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
freakishly fending off the cashier's hands as he tries to get hold of you and drag you across the scanner into oblivion and hell, into unknown adult-world-territories called "paying" and "taking responsibility"
shudders
-del2phi ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:02:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then the one time she thinks to give you money to pay for it yourself while she goes to check on something, she shorts you $5 and you're standing there with the clerk glaring at you, and you're terrified that security's gonna throw you in jail.
Now as an adult with my own money, my parents still do it and I end up having to buy their shit because people are waiting and social anxiety. Then when they come back it's "Oh, did you pay for my stuff too? I'm sorry, I'll pay you back." NEVER HAPPENS.
TBoarder ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is such an easy thing to handle though... If you forgot something, either just go through the line and pay for what you have, then go back in for what you forgot and use the express or self-checkout lane... OR pull out of the line and get what you need. Maybe the person behind you will be nice enough to hold your space, IF you're fast enough, but if not, oh well.
This is a byproduct of the shitty attitude that people have, that their time is more important than anybody else's... It's not, and please don't put your kids through this kind of anxiety over it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:03:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i learned that you can go a bit to the side so a person can move in but you also show you are in line, while leaving the bag on the counter when i was 12
LPT for anyone who shops with their mom: Offer to be the one to go get the thing. Say that you're faster or something and go get it. And move fast, because otherwise you're still going to worry about holding up the line. And use the self-checkout things whenever possible.
My mom's counter: I need this specific thing and you won't get the right one/itll take too long to explain it I'll just get it. (comes back with jar of generic pickles)
The nerve on this guy! They leave you after you start putting all the things on the belt. "Oh i forgot ketchup BRB keep putting that crap up there" Somehow makes it back when the cashiers ringing up the last thing for you, pretty much sweating bullets man.
I remember this so well, now I'm a cashier and whenever a mom does this I can see the fear in their eyes. I just talk to them about either star wars or frozen then they feel better.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:44:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god I had PTSD flashbacks last summer at Sam's Club with my girlfriend. We had just moved in together, and we went to Sam's to get a bunch of household stuff and some food. Mind you, she has a Sam's card, and at the time I did not. For those who don't have Sam's or Costco, it's a huge warehouse-looking store and usually everyone in line has a ton of stuff in their carts. Also, you need the card to get in and check out.
Anyways, there's like two people ahead of us and she all of a sudden starts half-running/half-walking away saying she'll be right back. Next person finishes checking out, so there's one person between the cashier and me. I start panicking and calling her, she doesn't answer. She shows up at the last second after she found some god damn honey roasted peanuts, and I just look ahead silently. After we checked out I just looked at her and said, "Don't ever do that shit to me again". She was confused, I guess it never had happened to her.
I'm a dad, I fully expect my daughter to just leave the cart right there and walk away. It's not her responsibility to hold our place in line while I fart around in the store because I forgot to grab the mayonnaise and it's not like she can cover the grocery bill.
atget ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:30:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but you just forgot one thing and it's a Sunday morning and the line is so long and your daughter doesn't even know which aisle the forgotten item is in, but you know which aisle and exactly where.
My mom did this and I found it pretty anxiety-inducing, but I get it. And I suspect that you will too, eventually.
I recently went to the store with a co-worker to buy some groceries for our facility. Of course her being the one with the company card walks off to go do something. I'm 26 and I still hate that filling.
When I was in my early teens, my mother would often realize she forgot something while she was waiting in line. She would send me off to go grab whatever it was and bring it to her while she held our place in line. For vengeance purposes, I would hide in an aisle and wait until she was next in line and then run out holding the paper towels or whatever she needed.
im 24 and that still gets me. especially when i see her start actively shopping again. my mom once left the card with me to go grab something. we had to check out twice.
I remember that happening once when I was a kid. I got to the front of the line and was about to tell the woman behind me to go ahead when I heard my mother come galloping and yelling, "NO!!!"
I still had this panic at 23 years old. My roommate and I would go shopping together. We were the assholes that did 3 separate transactions (his, mine, ours). Almost every time he'd be like, "Wait I forgot something!" after we'd already setup the conveyor. The panic and desperate looking around for him as I got closer and closer to the front, then continued as I went thru my stuff and he still wasn't back for his. Fuck you Chris.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Boyfriend did this to me and I was nervously standing there because I didn't have my wallet on me. The sassy checkout lady got on the intercom and yelled for him to hurry up.
kinaaaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom still does this to me and I'm grown as hell.
i can feel the panic - head swiveling trying to see if they arrive back in time, praying the person in front of you takes just a little more time than they need, the cold sweat of being embarrassed and panicking...
I had no problem getting to the front of the line, the real panic set in when the checkout person had almost finished scanning everything, but of course mum hadn't come back yet
Hahaha. I took my 7-year-old daughter clothes shopping a couple of weeks ago. We picked out a ton of clothing for her, and since the line was super long, like at least 30 minutes, I had her wait in line while I looked for something for myself in the same store. I kept checking on her every couple of minutes, but still, her slight panic as she inched forward through the line alone was pretty damn adorable.
My 8 year old gets panicked every time I do this to her. If I have to run and grab something I forgot, I'll make her unload the cart while I go get it rather than having her take her sweet ass time going to get it. And even if I do that, 90% of the time she comes back and says she couldn't find it, cause she's a kid and kids are absolute rubbish at looking for things
I have to remind her that a) we've been going to this market at least twice a week for 5 years and all of the check out people know you and love you, b) I will be back in less than a minute, and c) they're not going to try to make you pay for it if I don't get back in time. But no, she still freaks out anyway.
Well, I mean it's generally considered quite rude to the people in line behind you.
If you're not ready to check out, don't check out. The register will still be waiting for you when you're done shopping.
On the other hand, if you leave behind someone to hold a beach head and prevent other people from checking out (because you don't want that checkout lane to be used while you continue to shop), that poor person becomes the focal point of all the annoyance being telegraphed by everyone prevented from checking out.
I've noticed that narcissistic people tend to neither notice, nor care, that they are inconveniencing others. Conversely, if you're the child of a narcissist (speaking from experience), you become highly hyper-sensitive to the way strangers around you are impacted, and tend to take "ownership" (apologizing to everyone for the inconvenience).
Which is itself a stressful and unsatisfying exercise because, at best, the strangers realize it's not your fault (and their annoyance remains undiminished), and when the narcissist returns, she will be full of comments like "oh honey relax, no one cares" and "see, that only took a minute, stop freaking out".
Just my perspective, obviously terribly tainted by an abusive upbringing ;)
my mom is pretty oblivious. once we went shopping and as the store is closing my dad and i call to her to get going. we leave and walk out of the store. then we realize she's nowhere to be seen and panic a little, but turn around and see her still in the store, shopping, with everything closed and locked down.
kennyl ยท 334 points ยท Posted at 17:17:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hated that shit when I was booth closer -_- they only had one lane open the last 30 min, the booth lane. And there was always some mom who thought I should wait another 15 min before kicking her out, and that it was fine that she brought over 100 items to a non conveyer belt line. Have a heart lady, we all want to go home. Go to walmart, they don't close.
[deleted] ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 17:57:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Former Aldi Employee here. We got to kick people out when it closed. Go track down the person, and make them leave. They enter the checkout five minutes after close? Sorry, the checkout is off for the night.
Moreover, I think the original intent of that quote is more along the lines of, "The customer knows his needs/desires better than the store does."
Edit: It seems I may have been mislead. According to Quote Investigator, the original meaning is much the same, with the occasional caveat that, in reality, the customer is very often wrong, and there are limitations on how much faux-credulity can be extended.
While I get the intent of the original line "Try to satisfy/agree with the customer, it's good for business.", it is also so fucking wrong and not even appropriate in so many situations that it infuriates me to think it somehow became as popular as it is today. I really, really hope sometime in the next decade we, as a society, realize the idiocy of that phrase and cease to use it.
I was going to expand on what I meant, but after looking into it, it seems like the original meaning is pretty much the same as it is today. As you say, too often it is taken too far. Some of the early citations make the point that there are limitations.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:33:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no, the customer is never wrong. The customer is also an idiot.
We don't ever kick them out. We might check in, try to give them some hints, but if they're in the store before we lock the doors we don't make them leave.
Most people hurry up. Some people, though. Some regulars especially.
Ugh regulars. They can be great conversation, but they start to get so comfortable they think they own the place. I work as a server now and some regulars think they can get up and fill their own water glasses in my station. I remember in grocery, they were usually some of the last shoppers. I guess they feel better about the inconvenience if they are familiar with the workers.
Most of my regulars are darlings and I would and do go above and beyond for them.
But then you get, like, the one who also makes shitty remarks about each of us to our faces. It's that kind of person that reminds me it's still retail.
That's how I feel, its those few who just remind you how shitty it is that we must hold our tongues. I've perfected the art of a fake laugh as a reply to these types. That's all you can do, laugh off their weird or rude remarks.
ShaxAjax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus. I'm a lovely person to customers and always have been, (but my jobs have usually not been directly about the customers) but I would almost certainly give them the death stare without even thinking.
There's a customer who comes in regularly and sits at the counter to have coffee. He interrupted me once while helping another customer and I gave him a death glare. He thought it was cute, and now he always requests I give him my "grumpy" face. Talk about condesending.
Sometimes they aren't even great conversation. With most of the regulars at my grocery store, you'd think they just existed in a week-long time loop with how often the share the same stories and make the same jokes.
Me: Just one second, I'm having trouble finding the code for this item.
Or when you'd give them the total and they would act all flabbergasted, "150 dollars? Seriously?! I got like half a cart, damn your store is expensive!" Am I the only one that adds as I shop, so its never a surprise? I also round up so its cheaper than I expect. Also sir/ma'am, this is not MY store, this is my minimum wage job I clock into everyday and I swear I'm not lying when I say I don't make the prices, nor do I condone them. I didn't even shop where I worked, smaller groceries are more expensive. You're paying the difference so you don't have to shop with people you look down upon at winco or Wal-Mart. No we will not match their prices, we'll go bankrupt.
wewora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you ever get people who were shocked that you wouldn't let them continue shopping/checkout after close? Please say yes.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:03:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course. The best was when someone would come up to the store after we closed, and knock on the door and ask if they could come in. No sir, you can't come in "just for some bread", but you can go fuck yourself.
Zine-Rex ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:13:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man one shitty grocery I worked at wouldn't even let us make those passive aggressive speaker announcements like, "Attention shoppers, the store is closing in 5 min." All they would do is lock the entry autodoor to the store on the hour we closed. People snuck through the exit one sometimes and they STILL MADE US SERVE THEM. The 2-3 boots on the ground (as opposed to shitty managers) would always just be completely silent to those people coming up to the register after close. No greeting. No "cash or credit?" No nothing, just hatful looks or "yeah we close at 9" and letting them simmer in discomfort.
I loved letting them simmer in discomfort, but usually the last shoppers lacked the ability to feel shame. They probably wouldn't be the last shopper if they felt shame. Its always a wonder to me how some people can go through life without humility, or at least compassion for the people stuck with the shitty midnight shift.
It's totally true, though. They usually didn't give a shit. Hell, some even had the nerve to ask us where to find specific items. God I hated that job.
Especially slow days and times, that job sucked. Standing around waiting for a customer and just cleaning your check stand sounded like a great job for a lazy teen, but when it feels like an hour has gone by and its only been 15 min and you have 5 hours to go, its your own personal hell. I remember going slower with transactions on slow days, just so I could have human interaction for a few more seconds. I was anti social too, that's how bored I was. At least busy days went by in a flash.
It is a small time grocery, very stratigically placed at the base of a vast well-off white suburb with only 2 entry/exists, with a liquor license. So yes. Shenanigans. Seeing soccor moms pull up a cart literally full of only wine wasn't unusual.
Mmhmm and the ones who felt like they needed an excuse, "I'm having a dinner party tonight and I totally forget to buy 20 bottles of wine, silly me!" Sounds like we worked at the same place.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:48:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Late night walmart isn't the same as daytime walmart, though. After 10, Customer Service closes, so you won't be able to make returns or do anything you'd need a CS manager to do.
Speaking of manager, most of them clock out before the night shift, so you might have one night manager somewhere, but they take so long to get to the registers ("I want this item half off for no reason! Let me talk to your manager!" or "I'm not 21, let me put in the code to call someone over to scan this alcohol for you,") that the machine actually times out and logs the cashiers off.
But of course, there's only one or maybe two cashiers open at the belts anyway, you probably have to go to self checkout, which only ever has three or four of the eight machines working, so the line is massive. Not to mention that all self checkout machines everywhere are apparently retarded and don't understand why your sewing supplies "aren't in the bagging area" WHEN REALLY THEY'RE TOO LIGHT TO BE DETECTED, and you have to wait 500 years for it to acknowledge you scanned something.
Honestly just don't do your big grocery trips super late at night if you can avoid it. It's inconvenient and even if you go to Walmart, there's no guarantee it's going to be just as nice as if you went during the daytime.
lol yea, my dad and i went up to the window and got her attention, and she got a salesperson to unlock everything and pull up the gate door thingy and came out a couple minutes later.
I read "Yesterday, my wife said this to my daughter and I. Our kittens have been with us for a year as of yesterday. She doesn't leave us alone while she's shopping anymore." Still kinda sounds weird though
Mine ate a very expensive set of sennheiser headphones. Just ate the wiring the foam..........everything.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:04:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've lost a Samsung phone charger because the car liked to chew on the white protective cover--yes, he purposefully stopped at the edge. Lucky bastard cat. And then Samsung has the nerve to charge $45 for a damn cable.
When my ex and I were still together he had to leave for training for a month and came back to a puppy. I was lonely. I still have my puppy even after moving across country. Dropped the ex though.
When I was 11 or so, I was staying home alone for the first time - no baby sitter or anything - while my parents went to the theatre.
Someone knocked on the front door, and I answered. They had a kitten (probably around 4 months old) that they'd found while they were looking at houses. They couldn't take it home, because their two cats were very territorial.
...and that's how I adopted a kitten. My parents were very surprised when they came home to another cat (we already had several). I occasionally wonder that I was ever allowed to stay home alone again.
We really shouldn't have picked up other cats, as I had an old man (at the time, he passed from an until then unknown growth a few months later) who was very territorial. He did eventually like to play with the kittens, on his terms.
A fun artifact of their meeting, is that now, all of our cats will occasionally greet each other with the same growl he used. Not threatening, they do it on friendly terms. Then again, two of our three are total space cadets.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 16:43:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It took me a very long time to understand what was going on. I thought you meant that your wife said the line about the kittens. I was like "So your cats are 2 years old and now she's banned from shopping alone? Geeeez"
I woke up from my nap and went looking for my mom. She was walking out the door and saw me. I asked her where she was going. She handed me my toy truck and said she is going to go out to get something from the car and will be back in 5 minutes and I should go watch tv.
She walked out and I heard the car engine turn on. I noticed it but thought nothing of it. She drove away and that was the last time I saw her. 22 years later that little toy truck still sits on my desk, I sometimes want to throw it away but can't get myself to do it.
Sounds like she was running away from her life never to return. I had it happen with my father when he gave up trying to be a father and just said fuck it.
Currently pregnant with my third. This story broke my heart. My own biological mother left my baby brother with me when he was 16. Sure he was older, but that pain of being rejected by someone who should love you unconditionally hit him badly. I will never understand how a mother can turn her back on her baby like that....
May I ask if you ever spoke to her again, or know why she left?
kennyl ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 17:21:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is getting really sad, really fast.
RhynoD ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 17:44:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, when I saw the question I thought the top answer was going to be something along the lines of "I love you."
Never talked to her again. In a way it helped me I think. My dad was working all the time at the factory so I used that anger and alone time to focus on school. With a bit of hard work and mostly luck I ended up getting my MS from a top school and got a banking job making pretty good money for my age. I do notice, I don't have close relationships and just hide behind my work. I don't want to see her and have no plans on trying to find her.
You have my condolences. I fell included to express how impressive I find your resolve. My life has been a similar tale, but instead of doing what you did I spent the majority of my childhood wallowing in self-pity, unable to cope with my emotions. I often look back and wonder at what could have been if only I were as strong as you back then. Ah well, not much I can do at this point but make the best of it.
I have a one year old. I don't understand this, either. I will never understand why anyone would walk out on their family.
Abacusxx ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:58:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn man, sorry about that...
Sarnecka ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 16:58:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Goodness lord as a mother this makes me sad and furious on a max level. Im so sorry for you. I'll keep it polite cause there are plenty of words I'd like to use for her.
[deleted] ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 17:40:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My first is two months old and currently sleeping next to me. People told me before he was born that having a child would "give me empathy" for my own parents and make it easier to forgive their mistakes but it's just the opposite--I will never understand how someone can abandon their child. I feel guilty just taking two minutes to shower if he's asking for me. I just can't imagine it.
You're still full of hormones. Give it three years!
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 18:25:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No doubt he'll drive me crazy but never to the point of leaving him. Yesterday I left him with his dad to go to the grocery store and ended up watching a video of him in the parking lot not five minutes later because I missed him so much. He and his dad are my entire world.
Not to the point of leaving him, no, but there will probably be a time where you just stick him in the bedroom while he's throwing a tantrum and let him scream for two hours because you can't deal. Completely understandable.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:15:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Never talked to her again. In a way it helped me I think. My dad was working all the time at the factory so I used that anger and alone time to focus on school. With a bit of hard work and mostly luck I ended up getting my MS from a top school and got a banking job making pretty good money for my age. I do notice, I don't have close relationships and just hide behind my work. I don't want to see her and have no plans on trying to find her.
Oh.. OK! No, I think it is, atleast by parents guilty of neglect, which, by the way, is NOT a reason to take someone's kid away! That most likely just means they had freaking life when they were teens, not that the refrigerator is suffering from chronic malnutrition.
My dad, he was mostly busy working at the factory, so I just stayed at home and studied mostly.
GAF78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. DAMN. Ouch. Man, motherhood is hard but I promise there was other stuff going on and it wasn't you. I have two little boys and I just want to tuck you in with your toy truck and kiss you on the forehead, even though you're probably 30 now, you sweet innocent thing. I'm sorry.
Back in my rebellious phase in high school, I used to bring one of those foldable camping stools when I had to go with her to the mall. She used to get so mad at me.
My mom used to say "I'll be in and out" and that's how I knew I should've brought my game boy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thankfully when I went somewhere with my dad or mom, they'd let me know I could bring a book or my Gameboy so I was t bored in the car when they wanted to run in somewhere real quick.
jrm2003 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 16:14:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
You've never known true embarrassment until a Dillard's employee mistakes you and your dad for loiterers because your Mom "took 5 minutes" to pick out some work clothes.
"I'm sorry sir, but we're about to close. Can I help you or your son at the register?"
"We're just waiting on my Mom to finish picking out clothes... Can you please tell her. We don't want to be here anymore than you want us to."
i've walked back into whichever relative's house we're visiting and told me wife 'i'm leaving in five minutes' while making a show of starting the timer on my phone.
it only took having to deal with a severely pissed off wife three, four times to have her take me seriously.
but, i'm not an asshole. i only pull the 'i'm leaving' if she's taken more than 20 minutes from when she had me and the kids get in in the car to join us.
/the real problem is, she's too polite and has a very hard time telling people 'i have to go, let's talk about this another time'
I'm really grateful that my dad played games so he always had a good understanding of time it takes to play a game. He'd come down, saying some form of food is almost done telling me not to start a game of League
I think I'm the only person whose mom didn't do this to them. When my mom says __ minutes, she means __ minutes. The only reason why it would go over is if something super important came up
ArMcK ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:19:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, so much this. Mom went in to Wal-Mart to get some pee pads for her incontinent dog and a battery for something else. Two hours later my phone's dead and I've circled the store six times trying to find her but somehow missed her every time, and she finally comes out of the damn Wal-Mart with a FULL grocery cart and the excuse, "Well, I thought of a couple other things I needed and then time just got away from me." That was seven years ago and I moved to another state to never have to go shopping with her again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once as a kid, when my parents and I went shopping for a handbag, my mom told me we'd be no more than 15 minutes. In my childhood naivete, I didn't put together the fact that she loved to shop with the fact that she loves to chat with the fact that she knew one of the primary salespeople who also loved to chat. Two hours later, guess what the two of them are still doing. Can't tell you how many miles I must have walked around the store. Since then, I use this as a reminder to avoid going shopping downtown with her.
This actually killed me sense of excitement as a child when my mother said she would only be 5 minutes on a phone call which ended up taking two hours as I sit waiting dressed to go out and rent a video game.
That's because kids are horrible about imagining how long five minutes is. My son is autistic so he likes everything to be predictable. I'll actually set timers for things and he can't believe how long 5 or 10 minutes really is. He thinks I take forever in the store when really I'm in and out in record time when I want to be. Sometimes I just don't care that he's bored. I'm not rushing so he can get home to play his x-box.
squoril ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
we were told we were leaving our friends house in 5 minutes, 2 suns later we actually left
I was feeling sick one time when we were leaving a restaurant. I told my mom I wanted to go home. "We have to go to the store first. We'll be out soon" I waited in the car thirsty as hell with a headache for half an hour.
One summer when I was about 10 my mom and I went to the grocery store, I didn't feel like going in so my mom let me stay in the car. She told me she would only be 15 minutes so I didn't think much of it. I waited in a black car in the 95 degree summer weather with no windows rolled down as my mom dicked around in the grocery store. After 20 minutes I started to get really uncomfortable and my mom still hadn't gotten back. I tried to get out but I couldn't seem to unlock the doors. I later found out that the car we had couldn't be opened from the inside if it was locked, as a sort of child safety. I started panicking after maybe 45 min. She didn't get back for 3 fucking hours. I straight up thought I was going to die. It was one of the scariest experiences of my life. I would have just gone in if she told me it was going to be that long. Fuck moms who say that shit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why did she need to bring be? Why?! I didn't understand then and I sure as hell don't now
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I need to get bread and milk". Comes out an hour later with two shopping carts full of groceries
Mako_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My eight year old son usually responds with "Will that be five real minutes?"
notjawn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The worst was if they wanted you to wait in the car. My mom was notorious for making a "grocery store run" where she'd make me wait in the car but she'd sneak over to a clothing boutique for like 45 minutes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For Hispanic moms this translates roughly too "solo voy a tomar un cafesito" which means I'm only gonna have a small cup of coffee. This would happen all the time when you're a little kid and ur mom drags u to family members houses and then u finally get the good news that ur about to go home when the host (usually ur aunt) says "ayyyyy noooo quedate para otro cafe!". As a kid you die on the inside since u know that small coffee just tacked on an extra hour or 2 of ur visit.
I'm so glad kids have smart phones now because of this. I used to spend hours in the 90s just sitting and staring at nothing. then I got a Gameboy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My aunt harassed me with this,she went ahead to look for dresses as her marraige was due.She looked for one for 3 straight hours.I missed Tom and Jerry,because of that.
That's actually my dad. Anywhere he goes he is guaranteed to start up a long conversation with someone, whether that person wants to talk or not. I envy his lack of social awkwardness even if sometimes I can see him making other people feel awkward.
"Oh.. that's a nice dress, give me 5 minutes in the women department, wait in the checkout line for me"
"okay, if it's only for 5 minutes"
5 Minutes pass, up next in cashiers line
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck... mom hurry the fuck up!"
..
"Cash, credit, or Debit.."
"uhhh... mom??"
"I'm sorry sir, I'll have to put these items aside and help the other customers if you can't pay"
20 minutes later
"I'm back honey, where are all of the items?"
"เฒ _เฒ "
ennuiui ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got a question wrong on an IQ test in like 2nd or 3rd grade because of this. The question was "how long is a minute?" I selected "a very long time," because that's how long it took for my mom to get back when she popped into a store saying "I'll be back in a minute."
My dad made up a game called "who sees mommy first"when this happened. Was fun for the first 10 minutes than after 2 hours it looses its touch :/ He tried.
My mom, when despairing over what a terrible teenager I was, asked me why I never wanted to go shopping with her like those other girls (the daughters of her friends). I was like, because a shopping trip with you is 8 hours of wandering aimlessly and not letting me buy what I want anyway.
This goes along with, we'll leave in 5 minutes. No we won't you're gonna stand there and talk to your friend for another hour.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, my kids love shopping with me. I remember once when they were like 6 and 4 I told them we had to stop for some groceries but it would only take 5 minutes. My 4yo sighed loudly and said "ok". And my daughter pepped up and said "Don't worry, Jake, this is DAD shopping!" And my son smiled and said "Oh, dat's right! I forgot!"
The ones less concerned about lying to you about how long it will be say 2 seconds. I hear this a lot. As soon as it's out of their mouth you know it will be a while.
AKluthe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I only need one thing...
Oh,that'sagoodsaleonlunchmeat..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also the most common from my wife. Still love her to death though :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember that one, and when I was four I just asked how long a minute was. So I counted all the way to five minutes out loud every single time, and it worked most of the time lol.
Or when she says "I'm going to get cigarettes, I'll be back in 5 minutes" and then doesn't come back for 3 days, won't say where she's been and is shitfaced wasted.
This is still my mom and as a 20-something year old it drives me crazy. We had to run our dog to the vet (last week) for a quick checkup after surgery he had a couple weeks ago. Dogs a big rotty mix, so it's just easier to have me around to keep him calm, he's still a puppy (a 80 lbs puppy). Heading home from that, she says she needs to run to the store for a couple things, will be no problem. I say sure, it's 11:00am, but I have to be home by 11:30 because at noon I've got a test drive of an Audi I was considering buying at the dealership, I don't want to be late, getting a test drive time slot was a pain and I want to make it.
I stay in the car with the dog because it's warm and that way we can keep the AC on. At 11:40 I'm calling her telling her she needs to get back to the car or else I'm driving myself and the dog home to go to my test drive. Get a text saying she's checking out, will be seconds away. Finally shows up at the car at 11:50, I was furious.
Conveniently the dealership called right then to push my appointment back to 12:15, also didn't like the A4 more than the Subaru WRX for the car people who might see this.
Hated this but from the perspective of waiting to leave. Had Math League in the early morning so the first few times I woke up early to make sure we could make it on time. Despite being told we would leave in a sec we never left until practice had already started.
Eventually I gave up and just slept in and lived with constantly being told I should wake up earlier if I wanted to be on time. Guess what I would wake up early if it actually made a difference to when we left.
This shit right here is why I have some hate for my mom. She picks me up from school we head to a casino to eat some foods and we go out I get in the car. She then says hey I'll be right back I'm just going to play a little :) she's gone for 6hrs gambling while I'm in the car. At Least she fed me before hand most of the time...
My mom was taking my cousins and me to a movie she had to shower and "would be real quick." Comes out of the shower and gets dressed 45 minutes later. We missed Flubber mom
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Koreans have a running joke that there's American time and Korean time.
When Americans say five minutes, they mean five minutes.
When Koreans say five minutes, they mean two hours.
When Americans say 2:30, they mean 2:30.
When Koreans say 2:30, they mean 5:00.
Keitea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oooh loook I just saw one of my friend ! I am just going to say hello !"
As a kid I thought 5 minutes was a long time. I remember this effecting me in school as well. "/u/lukerobi how long was your lunch period?" "About 5 minutes."
And it's worse when it's at the end of shopping and you're in line with this huge line behind you, and your mom makes you hold the spot because she forgot something.
I miss this. My mom passed away a decade ago, and I miss even the small annoyances. I would totally go with her to the store today, fully knowing it might take hours.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or when she forgets something at the checkout and runs off to get it...
That one was hilarious when I was getting picked up from my best friend's house or vice versa. Both of our mothers would expect us to get ready to go as soon as they arrived. Of course, they'd invariably get into a 45 minute long conversation about who knows what while one of us was waiting to leave and the other was waiting to go back to doing solitary activities. It didn't take long for us to decide that it wasn't worth getting ready right away and we should just keep doing what we had been doing until THEY were actually ready to leave. Of course, that usually resulted in one of the two mothers being unhappy that their son hadn't come when they called and gotten ready to leave. I think I was in Grade 11 (years after we'd moved away from said friend) before I was finally able to make her understand why I never got ready and waited when she came to pick me up back then.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always skips that part and goes straight to "I'll be out in 40 mins. Go do something else," even though my family and I just want to go home.
For me this was always worst when she was on the phone. When I was little we called them "mommy phone minutes." 5 mommy phone minutes was about an hour, iirc.
espesially when she is asking you to help her out with physical labor, 3 hours in and sweating balls in 106 in texas, "thanks honey" sometimes is good enough others it is not..
When you've got toddlers giving them a brief time for something is a great trick because they usually can't read a clock and have a really poor perception of time's passage. "Five more minutes" can mean however long you like, but it sounds reasonable and fair so the kid goes with it.
It stops working as they learn and their brains develop.
The best anti-drug message I ever got was a sketchy drug dealer listing the shit he wouldn't mess with. Those things immediately went on the "no way, no how" list.
My dad's sage advice when it comes to drugs - "don't do the white stuff"
Edit: In this thread - people that don't know what a rule of thumb is
jpallan ยท 327 points ยท Posted at 18:32:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An alcoholic friend was taken to the hospital for a tear in his esophagus, and after they cauterized it, they cautioned him to stick to a clear liquid diet. "Vodka's a clear liquid."
Ugh, this hits close to home. My friend has been suffering from anorexia for a long time, and she has recently combined her obsession with consuming as few calories as possible with her newfound alcoholism. We would ask her if she was eating. Her response? "Yeah I've been counting the bagel and calories from vodka" Not surprisingly, she almost died before she got back into treatment.
Toubabi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:48:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can't say for sure, but "tear in his esophagus" was likely an esophageal varice, caused by the alcoholism, so that adds an extra dimension to your story.
jpallan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Correct. He's just lucky that they didn't treat it with ice water lavage.
But the Molly was an off-white color. Should be safe.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:01:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Almost all drugs are white when it comes in powdered form
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:52:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's kinda the point. If you're avoiding white stuff that means you're basically smoking pit and maybe eating some mushrooms or lsd. Pretty harmless compared to powdered drugs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's kinda the point.
It totally defeats the point as it gets you just as far as "drugs are bad, mmmkay??"
If people are going to do drugs anyways, it's better to have a "no way, no how" list.
... or lsd. Pretty harmless compared to powdered drugs.
There is a lot of difference between powdered drugs. LSD can also come in powdered form and surprise... it's white.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:14:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LSD does not come in powdered form for anyone except the manufacturer. The active dose of lsd is on the order of 100 micrograms. Micro. As in, millionths of a gram. That's not enough of anything to be a powder. If you get "LSD" that is a white powder, it's not LSD.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:27:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know how small the dosage of LSD is. I'm just saying, LSD is a white crystal that you can grind up to a powder and it's white. Way to take one irrelevant detail out of a comment.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LSD does not come in the form of a white powder. Period. End of story. But you're right, that is beside the point so I'll move on.
Anyway, I don't agree that it just reduces the advice to 'drugs are bad'. Because it allows cannabis and mushrooms, both of which are drugs. And honestly I kinda think that's the point of the advice.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:55:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In its pure form, LSD is a white, odourless and slightly bitter crystalline powder. [...] LSD can also be sold as a powder or as capsules and tablets. The powder may be made into miniature powder pellets called microdots, which are taken by mouth.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Any amount of powder in whatever you're buying is not LSD, it's adulterants. Youre literally buying 100 micrograms of something, thats not enough to form a powder at all. With the huge surge in powdered research chemicals, you should never buy LSD if it comes in powdered form.
Ever heard of a rule of thumb? It doesn't have to be accurate 100% of the time in order to be useful.
Besides, if we are talking about exceptions to the rule, alcohol is one of the most dangerous drugs out there, and he isn't bothered with drinking that.
Tobazz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably would. Synthetic pot is a slightly better, but Wikipedia does give this list of symptoms:
Hypertension, tachycardia, myocardial infarction, agitation, vomiting, hallucinations, psychoses, seizures, convulsions and panic attacks. Among individuals who need emergency treatment after using synthetic cannabis, the most common symptoms are accelerated heartbeat, high blood pressure, nausea, blurred vision, hallucination and agitation. Other symptoms included epileptic seizures, acute psychosis, and heart attacks.
Right?! When Mr. Rogers tells me drugs are bad, I know he means well but I don't think he has a lot of relevant information. When some wild-eyed junkie who hasn't slept in five days tells me they're bad, that's a learning experience.
joyu123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:36:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
PCP, meth, and heroin with the big names, he wasn't keen on crack either. After that he had a "nothing local, nothing new" rule that kept him away from a lot of the really deadly synthetic shit of the last decade.
That's how I determined I would never try MDMA... reading an article about researchers looking at how psychadelics can help cure trauma disorders and addiction, and they're saying "Well, MDMA is more effective than LSD, but we're working with LSD because MDMA has the possibility to cause permanent brain damage in a single dose." Yikes. These are people who are advocating for the relaxation of schedule 1 restrictions...
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:17:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:31:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Some of those studies have incredibly specious conclusions, and without reading into detail, I question the validity of all of them now.
The most jarring thing there is this:
Results showed that, when compared to those who took the placebo, participants who took acetaminophen rated the noise blasts as less unpleasant for themselves -- and also thought they would be less unpleasant for others.
Yes, if you experience something as not jarring, in what world is it a lack of empathy to think others would feel the same?
For the record, I agree with you. It's one study with a very small sample size (and the subjects were all Ohio state students, not even general public) and possibly questionable methodology. I do think it warrants further research, though.
I don't believe MDMA itself is neurotoxic. The problem is that it metabolizes into MDA which is.
Also
Tylenol permanently kills or lowers people's empathy
Isn't quite correct after reading the studies done on it. It reduces empathy for others pain while they're under the effects of it. What happens is that empathy over someone else's pain is due to your brain processing the idea of pain as you would experience it. Acetaminophen's action in the reduction of your own pain prevents you from processing other people's pain. I have no idea why you think it's permanent.
The only "MDMA causes immediate brain damage" stories I knew were the old ones from ~2000 where it supposedly burned holes in your brain and damaged your spinal cord. Those, at least, were solidly untrue.
sadrice ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:11:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the olney's lesion thing was bullshit. I believe it is well accepted that regular overuse is terrible for you, but that infrequent responsible use is really quite safe.
The worst I've seen was the news running MRI "heatmaps" and mistaking "strongly suppressed regions are given dark colors" for "these regions are ceasing to function permanently".
And yeah, a quick look at the Wiki article for Olney's lesions shows a stack of "potentially... at high dose... with regular use... in rats..." and not much else.
It's possible that it's just reducing blood flow to parts of the default mode network. This is how tryptamine pscyhedelics work, and MDMA has very minor psychedelia associated with it. It's not damaging the brain, only causing it to be less utilized to not utilized (hence the need for less blood flow).
Though MDMA metabolizes to MDA (which is more psychedelic), but MDA is unfortunately neurotoxic.
Yeah, these were activation scans taken during active use, so they were definitely representing low usage rather than damage. I don't know enough about MDMA to speak to why the usage drops, but I'm confident that's what it represented.
Is MDA substantially neurotoxic, or just more so? And are the primary drug effects people take it for from MDMA, or the metabolite?
MDA is rather neurotoxic to your serotonergic receptors. I would guess that people largely take MDMA for its other effects, as it's not really a go to drug for psychedelia -- that's moreso a little added bonus.
Well, this was quite a while ago... on the downslope but not long after the peak of the AIDS epidemic. The article was about how the rush to get effective antiretrovirals had, coincidentally, made it easier to get approval to do research on Schedule 1 drugs. Article in LA Times I think.
It's my understanding that it takes upwards of three months for your brain chemicals to go back to what they were before you did MDMA.
Edit: I have experience with taking MDMA, I'm aware of its affects. Just because you feel fine after a couple of days doesn't mean your brain isn't still recovering.
Antidepressants take upwards of 4-6 weeks to fully take effect, but your brain can completely remake its stores of serotonin in two days? I'm not buying it.
323445 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:33:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Taking a reasonable amount of MDMA doesn't burn through all your serotonin and doesn't make you feel like shit for a month.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:32:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually that isn't really true. I do E maybe once a month or so and you only feel bad the next day. If I eat a good meal and get lots of sleep, I don't even feel bad the next day. You might be thinking of a month because that's generally whats considered a minimum time between doses if you wanna be really safe about it.
The study was badly flawed. And by "badly flawed" I mean instead of giving the monkeys an average dose of MDMA, they instead gave them a massive dose of meth.
That's true for many things. MDMA is a bit over hyped, but the tryptamine psychedelics are amazing. To say you'd never try a psychedelic experience out of some overblown fear of the unknown seems odd.
It's not an overblown fear of the unknown. I know exactly what most drugs are doing to brain chemistry in the short term, and I don't like the implications about what might be happening as a long-term result. I choose not to chance the long-term implications for even an "amazing" short-term experience.
Edit: I'm not judging people who make a different choice. Not my brains, not my call - you do you.
He also refused to fuck around with anything regional or new (think bath salts and other synthetics), on the grounds that you never really know what it'll do. Living where we did, most of the 'local' stuff was in fact seriously deadly.
PCP, heroin, and meth were the big ones, and he didn't like the idea of crack very much. Beyond that, he refused to take anything local or new (i.e. synthetic) because it didn't have a track record or predictable effects.
It's relevant that he was a fairly good guy when you got down to it. Sketchy, but obviously plenty of drug dealers are totally willing to deal and even take those things.
I'm guessing she had like a super religious upbringing or something? I can't imagine not knowing until 19
stygyan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:33:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, she was born in 1939, in a small town, just three years after the Spanish Civil War.
It was a different era, specially in ultra-catholic Spain under the regime of the dictator. To top it off, I was a late late child - when I was born my dad was 54, my mom was 43, so there's a huge generation gap.
This is basically my stepdad's advice. He knows, deep down, where I should be fucking up and what he should tell me to avoid. Whenever I piss off my mom (which is a fairly frequent event), he usually tells me how to fix the problem because I usually don't really know.
"Look, I've been there and done that, here's what to avoid."
"Boring shit. Avoid boring shit. Do NOT avoid concerts, leather jackets, and snakes because that shit is fucking rad."
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:31:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Dad partied pretty hard in his day. The look on his face when he tells me not to go out and get blackout shithoused tells me he's speaking from experience. He isn't warning that it's bad or immoral but that it's not worth the hellish morning after and potential to do really stupid shit.
This is basically what I plan on doing if/when I have kids. It was always "just don't do this thing" from my mom with no real reasoning behind it, but between me and my siblings (who of course pass this info back and forth) we've gleaned enough info about her from back in the day, mostly from her siblings, that it kind of invalidates what she told us.
My daughter's aunt (not real aunt, it's my best friend) did exactly that for my daughter. My daughter was speechless when she explained the story about how she lost her virginity under a bridge in the centre of town when she was 13.
My mother's stories of her college hangovers were enough to ensure that I will always be a moderate drinker. I don't ever need to still be so drunk the next morning that I have trouble holding onto the floor, while dealing with a splitting headache.
My dad swore that he only tried marijuana once in his life and he didn't like it. Years after my pot-smoking days, my mom exclaimed "your daddy used to be the biggest pothead I'd ever met!" when she subject came up. I thought about it and it finally clicked. He was a full time musician in the 70s and 80s. Of course he smoked on the reg. Damn it, Dad.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:47:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
MyIQis76 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That has gotta be some top teir, itch on the shelf, grade A, billion dollar weed right there.
[deleted] ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 17:11:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom pulled that shit too. Said she never drank or smoked bud (she was a teen in the late '60s/early '70s). Then a family member tells me that she actually did use to drink and smoke, but only on occasion. I didn't believe it until I came home one day And she was drinking a beer, which she tried to hide as soon as she saw me. I was horrified. How could my sweet, innocent mother lie to me? Hahaha.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:29:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:46:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to say the same thing. It wasn't until a few years ago when I learned my mom wasn't just smoking tobacco when she went out to have smoke breaks in the garage when we were kids.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My old friend and I caught her mom smoking in her garage, also. This bitch was smoking out of a tin foil pipe so it was easily disposal. Hilarious
My mom got pregnant at 19 with my older brother, the dad abandoned them both. I got pregnant at 19 and my SO not only is a phenomenal father but takes care of me and his baby, but my mom doesn't like him and has a problem with our relationship because we aren't married. Every guy my mom has ever liked that I have dated, has been abusive. My current SO is the only one my dad likes.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:42:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
One time in senior year my mom was telling me how she would kick my ass if I ever came home Drunk/High, my response was to look at her and say "Now do not tell me you and dad never got drunk in highschool" "No we never did". Upon hearing that my dad yelled "Horseshit" and that was the end of that discussion.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:45:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My mom is pretty much the same way about 2 Mohitos in. I am pretty sure anyone that grew up in the seventies is going to be cool, the ones who are not are just hippocrites.
My parents used to tell us to save our first kiss for the wedding day. Then one day I heard my aunt complain about how whenever she would take my dad to parties he would make out with all her friends.
Mine use to complain about how difficult her twenties were when I knew for a fact that she was living in a CASTLE in SPAIN with a rotating cast of bohemians, movie stars and a millionaire or two. Also that she was working as a professional photographer for Time/Life straight out of high school who sent her off to Europe with a personal expense account.
My uncle told me how his big sister and her husband used to grow weed, then pay him with that for babysitting. Of course my dad puts up a front that he's never done anything like that, but my uncle has told me some stories about him too. Littlest siblings know everything.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Why would a parent lie about something that everyone else knows and will probably come up in open discussion sometime? It's like they're asking to be caught.
Wouldn't it be better to admit they screwed up that one time so that the kids have an idea of what's ahead of them? They're going to do stupid things anyway, the difference is whether they're going to come to the parents for help afterwards or not.
I think it's an "If I tell them I did X when I was their age, they will think it's OK to do X" way of thinking, at least that's what I think my parents rationale for doing things that way was (or at least my mom). I doubt I'll do it that way if/when I have kids, cause it obviously didn't work for me and my siblings.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Drinking with family members is how I found out all this stuff about my parents, but that's cause they were my parents siblings and around while it was all happening.
Goyims ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
mine are the opposite and tell me all the stupid stuff they did and ask why i dont go out more often
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when I got busted with weed my Freshman year of high school. My mom just told me that I should only buy from people I trusted, and never at school. Thanks mom.
Whooph, thanks. I declined Dartmouth because I was turned off by the fact that their school brochures were literally advertising and proud of the fact that their "unofficial" mascot is a freaking keg stand.
-sobs- I thought people were more mature in a big city
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
When I was 16 I smoked pot and got caught. Got grounded and lost everything a teen "needs" like cell phone, car, etc. She grew up in LA in the 70s so I insinuated that she smoked when she was a teenager too. She vehemently denied ten times until Sunday.
A week later I'm at my aunts house (who is 2 years younger than my mom). I mention my punishment and she says "the first time I ever smoked weed was with your mom when she was 18 and I was 16. She was the one who got it for me."
My mom liked to tell stories about all the reckless/dangerous stuff she did when she was younger and then end it with, "But if you ever did that, I'd kill you."
Hah, my mother's like that. To hear her tell it, she was the most perfect, strait-laced individual to ever go to college. No drugs, no drinking, just work and studying.
But she's still friends with her college roommate, who has no incentive to lie. She and her roommate painted their toilet psychedelic colors and made her roommate's boyfriend a papier-mache penis costume (full body sized) for Halloween.
sorry if that was poorly worded, that's the way my mom spun her BS college story and used it to convince me to study hard. Not the worst thing to get me to do, but it irked me when I found out the truth behind the story
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
No, I only dump on my own mom. And only for the shit she deserves it for. Shes pretty cool most of the time.
The ironic part is, she always used the college thing to paint herself as the smart one of my parents, when shes just a casual stay at home mom, who happened to understand middle/high school math/science. Love her, but she wouldnt be able to hold a job if she tried.
Dad taught me how to actually observe, infer, and draw conclusions....like how to learn for yourself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ghsdkgb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother in law literally did a keg stand at her son's wedding.
My dad's stories: "Yeah we were coming down the hill high as all hell in my buddy's transam. Well everyone else why high, not me. Then we rolled it in a graveyard. Don't do drugs."
My in-laws used the opposite tactic on my husband and his brother. They told them all the embarrassing, horrible, WTF drug and end of the 60's through early 80's stories they have in them. It made doing those things seem so lame and stupid to them that they both just avoided all of that crap.
My uncle told the story of when my dad dropped an M80 in the road drain and everybody's toilet backed up because of it. My dad vigorously denied it, until I overheard him complaining to my uncle and I just jumped out saying "gotcha ya!"
For me, it's the opposite. My mom never got a detention in school. My mom didn't get a C on ANY assignment until COLLEGE. She was always so perfect, and of course, now I have a similar brother who is going across the country to get a paid lead role in Billy Elliot at 12. Then he goes to a different company and does it again. He can also play guitar, and play piano. I can play videogames (and some piano, but that's besides the point).
Sawses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...To be fair, if you're in an Ivy League school, you can fucking party all you want as long as your grades are good. Nobody can say a word, since you're in an Ivy League school.
I was a pretty boring geek when in high school. After graduating is when I started drinking, smoking a shit ton of pot (before I was more of just an occasional weekend warrior), and doing mushrooms. Still didn't have sex until I met my now wife. She's my first and only.
I like vinegar, could we settle for pickle juice instead? I'm not a huge sports fan either, but I still find them interesting. I could probably watch stock market commentary for a bit, my grandfather was the vp of a bank so it's already in my blood.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 18:12:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, just straight vinegar. And for you, now, it's going to be the weather channel. And not the fancy reality TV shows they do now - for you it'll be the scrolling leaderboards of flight cancellations.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:11:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer tuna water and a mind-numbing documentary on whogivesafuckistan.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now that's just revolting...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:02:40 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not really a sports fan, but I totally understand people who do. And I love beer. It doesn't taste like vinegar to meโwine actually tastes closer to vinegar.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:07 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've never been able to develop a taste for alcohol or coffee. It all tastes equally rancid to me...
And then they are so confused why you are acting weird
lark83 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:36:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or less, I don't give a crap who you are, spouse or child, if I have the keys and say I am leaving, for the love of God you better fly or you are going to miss your ride. -
my mom was like that, I'm now capable of getting out the door in two minutes from completely asleep if necessary. I know exactly which actions are minimally necessary and which can be added in if I have five, ten, or thirty minutes instead.
She did have to take my little brother to school in his underpants twice to make that stick though.
Once in preschool and once in kindergarten, she threw a set of clothes in the car with him and the teachers were pretty understanding when she dropped him off with an outfit
To be fair, it's probably your fault that we didn't...
Source: am a mom
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 16:45:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I respectfully disagree, me and my siblings when given "five minutes" would be ready and in the car in under 3. And yet we would sit there waiting for about 20 minutes, and when we asked why it took so long they just said "I was putting on make up". Why do you say "five minutes" when you know it takes longer to put on your make up that you haven't started putting on?
I don't, personally, but I think moms enter a time vortex of some kind. For me, it's talking. I will talk to my family or in-laws for 25 minutes at the door, while leaving, if I'm allowed to.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's different, you didn't plan on doing that. What really got me is when we were leaving to go over to our extended family's houses, and my mom knew she would put on make up, yet still told us to be ready before she had even started the 30 minute process of putting it on.
Screw you mom. We shut the game off and now we've been sitting here with our shoes on for ten minutes while you futz around in the bathroom. Its you! You are the reason we are late! It only takes us 60 seconds to get our shoes on. So sick of this...
Pa5trick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They probably spent their time yelling for you to actually start rather than getting themselves ready. I used to be the same way until I was on the other side. It really puts into perspective why parents do what they do.
I'm not a parent but my girlfriends little sister is this way.
Bahahahaaa... I don't do this, I swear. I would go without make-up and with my hair wet to work if it weren't such a professional atmosphere. It's YOU, ya puke!
Magma151 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like you. I wish my mom would playfully smack talk me sometimes.
I've got joking insults for days. Both of my boys have been called buttheads, buttholes, nerds, weirdos, and then the more affectionate and embarrassing (for them) silly goose. If they weren't cute, they'd already be dead. :)
Ha! Every time we left on a family she'd wake us up at 6am and tell us that we all had to be packed and ready by 10am because we had to drive so many hours to get to our first motel reservation. We'd be packed and ready by noon (not 10am; we were her children, after all) but even after our bags were in the car she'd keep yelling at us to "don't do that, we're leaving in a few minutes" any time she caught us turning on the TV or sneaking a toy out of the car to pass the time. Sometime in the afternoon, in the full heat of the day, my dad would snap and make us all go outside and sit in the car while we waited. We'd sit sweltering in the car for a while and then he would go inside and they would yell at each other and my dad would come out and turn the car on so we'd have AC. We'd sit in the driveway for half an hour and then my mom would come out carrying a tote bag containing sunscreen and batteries and a few other things we had forgotten, convinced that the five hours she spent looking for them had totally rescued the trip from the utter carelessness of us ingrates, because she was the only one who thought and cared enough to make sure we didn't leave the house until she found the mostly-empty bottle of sunscreen she knew we had, and my dad shouldn't complain because he's the one who left it in the closet with the swimming goggles and the baseball gloves instead of in the medicine cabinet where it belonged.
Son, here. Whenever mother said that, I'd tell her "I'm ready." She then proceeded to take several centuries to actually get ready and then blamed me for being late.
I still love that woman.
Vanetia ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:58:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also mom. Yup.
There's a stereotype that women take forever to get ready. Maybe for a lot of them that's true. But I run a brush through my hair and throw on shoes and I'm ready to go. I don't wear makeup and don't have a high maintenance hairstyle.
My daughter also just brushes her hair and throws on her shoes. But it takes her like 5 minutes to brush her hair and another 5 to put shoes on.
I've learned to tell her 10 minutes ahead of time to get ready to go. Even still she's figured that it means she doesn't need to get ready just yet so lately I've told her we're going "now" so she'll actually move her butt a little quicker.
And FWIW, my dad was always the hold up because he'd realize as we're putting on our shoes that he needs to take a shit so we'd sit back down and wait another 30 minutes.
HAHAHA at the shit comment. I fuss at my husband because he's like "I'm ready!" but he still needs to put his shoes on, get his hat, and grab his keys. I'm like "That's not READY. That's almost ready." He still insists I'm wrong. :)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:15:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my dad was always the hold up because he'd realize as we're putting on our shoes that he needs to take a shit so we'd sit back down and wait another 30 minutes.
My husband spends a good 2 hours of every day in the bathroom. Shitting is like his favorite thing to do.
How reality-blind can you be, it was and has always been your fucking husband who thought of getting ready only when everyone else was already ready to go! But no one was allowed to comment on that because he would scream at us even more if we did! Seriously, Mum, get a fucking divorce! That husband of yours is a manipulative CUNT! But you have somehow been able to shut out everything bad he did to us because "I LURVE HIM"!
(I wrote that as if you were my mother, since you pretended to be! You freckle, of course are not intended)
This was my aunt for a trip to the amusement park. She was like "Okay we're going to be leaving at 6 am because that way we'll avoid other people, so we have to wake up at 4 am." And we do wake up at 4 am, and everyone but her is ready.
We ended up leaving for the amusement park by 10 am.
"I don't know what happened to that loud obnoxious toy you love to play with every waking moment"
Tang_Fan ยท 7222 points ยท Posted at 14:10:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also - "Sorry sweetheart, they don't make the batteries for that toy anymore" when asked by my then three year old why his toy vacuum cleaner doesn't work.
It took standard AA batteries but the bloody thing was ten times louder than the actual vacuum cleaner.
ryken ยท 5106 points ยท Posted at 15:09:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Friends down the block have just never told their kids that batteries being replaced is even a thing. When the batteries die, that toy is just done making noise/light/etc forever.
My kids didn't know about batteries until they were at least 4. Their toys were just broken. They managed to learn about batteries on their own around 4 or 5 years old. Now we just tell them we're out of batteries and they remind us every time we go to the store.
ryken ยท 1229 points ยท Posted at 16:17:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We just try our damn hardest to not allow any noise making toys into the house. Thankfully our kid is perfectly content to play with his wooden train sets and non-electronic trucks (of a million shapes and sizes).
We asked relatives and friends not to buy them loud toys. My sister-in-law bought my 2 yr old a keyboard. The batteries never completely died, it just started making a horrible screaming cat sound. The very next time one of her kids had a gift receiving event, I got them a 1000 piece fairy body art set (stickers, tattoos, body paint, etc). She never bought my kids an obnoxious present again.
[deleted] ยท 1482 points ยท Posted at 18:16:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't like protracted battles. I plan and use a calculated strike to decimate my opponent and win the war.
There was one time a former friend attempted to get mu MIL fired and I used the friend's bank statement to order a giant purple buttplug from Adam & Eve, requesting all promo materials be sent as well, and had it mailed to her at work. She left that job a couple months later and for about a year after she left, A&E was still mailing her promo materials to that work address.
I'm usually pretty nice. But if I hit that point, it's go big or go home. And I love a gift that keeps on giving. This particular time happened about 15 years ago. The deal with my son was 7 years ago. Seems like I'm due for some mayhem.
Hay and a pumpkin can't be too expensive, they got the toilet from a junkyard and the clothes from Salvation Army. The manure was probably the most expensive thing there.
Eh, manure isn't as bad as most other animals' crap. I'd way rather move a couple yards manure than the equivalent of human shit, dog shit, or cat shit.
Dude, OP sounds like an asshole. I'm glad you're calling him/her out on the fact that escalating to that level is not something one should be proud of.
I wouldn't have if we hadn't made a specific request. My ex also has 4 siblings and we had to send a very clear message about the repercussions of their actions.
My aunt never really gave my brother or sister gifts for birthdays and such while my parents still gave her kids presents and things useful for my aunt to take them shopping or whatever. So last Christmas my dad got her son a little toy fishing set. It was magnetic to get the fish and the fish could float, probably to be in a pool or something. Well my dad told the kid to my play with it when in the bathroom or etc and the kid ended up placing them in the toilet after going to the bathroom. My aunt was forced to pick them out (with gloves yet still) and that is how my parents got back at my aunt for never really giving gifts to my brother and sister.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had one of those!
[deleted] ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 18:46:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my sweet 84 year old grandma got my kids a stuffed chicken toy. I think it was meant for adults. It was labelled "anger management chicken" the chicken would sing the 'chicken dance song' at increasing tempo and higher pitch until you grasped it firmly about the neck and squeezed with all your might. Then the creature's cheeks would light up red, it would make choking noises and finally shut up. I'm sure grandma really wasn't aware of how annoying this chicken really was, but boy was it awful. After it ran out of batteries I put it in the donation bin. Kids occasionally ask what happened to the chicken. I tell them it must have got donated 'by accident'.
[deleted] ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 18:52:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So you need to choke your chicken to get rid of your aggression?
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:26:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This company also makes a monkey you have to spank (for new parents) and an elephant's trunk you have to tug (anger management).
kevinkit ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 18:55:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:53:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have always been able to prove the existence of Santa to my kids, by convincing them there is no way I would buy a noisy, annoying toy like the ones Santa brings.
The worst for us were the talking puzzles. Slightest move and they'll make whatever stupid noise. We gave our son one that had some really creepy sounding clown laugh that would go off when I was walking on the other side of the house. Still haunts me...still haunts me.
My wife got our nephew a sticker book with over 1000 stickers fir his third birthday. I was against that because of the potential of getting stickers everywhere. She said she was just doing the obnoxious gift before her brother gets the chance.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:36:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I get the strategic importance of a first strike, however your wife must not believe in the M.A.D. theory. She's begun a war in which there is no winners. May God have mercy on your souls.
A first strike is really only a strategic success if it destroys your opponent's ability to retaliate before they can fire back. Making the 'first strike' in this gift war even more futile than in an actual nuclear exchange.
Unless she's hoping that the brother will be too exhausted from the annoyance of stickers everywhere to find the mental energy to think of an annoying gift to send back.
When I was little I LOOOOOVED stickers. My dad used to take me to this kid's toy store called Zany Brany, they mostly sold educational toys but they had an insane sticker section. I had a big sticker book (all of the pages were wax paper) and every week my dad would let me pick out one pack of stickers to get. I stuck them on everything; I'm 26 and only just moved out of my childhood home, and I found stickers all over in weird places while packing.
My son got one of those. I gave him free reign to put them anywhere on his own furniture in his room that he wanted. So long as none got on the walls or carpet. His bed and night stand are completely covered.
Fuck that. I took the scorched earth approach and bought my 2 year old a drum set for her birthday. Her smart ass uncle looked like I shit in his cheerios because he bought her a toy strictly based on how much he thought the sound would bug us.
Nobody even bothers with loud toys anymore. You will fucking not out-loud a toddler on a drum set.
HuoXue ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:41:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The next step is to introduce your kid to Oreos dipped in coffee. My grandpa did this when he'd come to visit, and took off just before it kicked in.
If you think you can't out loud a toddler on a drum set, you haven't seen that toddler on a caffeine-sugar-rush combo.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:12:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is what Saddam did to piss off Bush. It all makes sense.
My SO and I were the first to have kids on both sides of the family. We informed everyone we were keeping track of what annoying gifts they gave andare not above petty revenge.
grubas ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:16:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't have kids, my sister has tried to kill me more than once after witnessing the gifts I get her kids.
My go-to present for every new niece, nephew or friends kid is the drum kit. You can get them off Amazon for about a tenner and boy can you make a racket. Yes, I'm that uncle.
My kids are now 3 and 4 but two years ago we got a gift that consisted of cymbals, a set of maracas, a cowbell, a drum and castanets in a box with a half dozen drum sticks..I got my revenge by gifting their child with a "Make Your Own Perfume" kit.
This reminds me of the fire truck my brother got given when he was three or four. It was magnificent, and I can't remember the batteries ever dying when I was a kid. It had the best siren sound and we would play with it for HOURS.
Then the uncle who gave it to us started having kids. We were in our teens and did not play with the fire truck anymore. My Dad replaced the batteries and gave it to my cousins, who love it as fiercely as we did and also take it everywhere. It can never be disappeared to the place where obnoxious toys are hidden.
Back when my mom was alive she had a Christmas/Birthday war with her sister when it came to presents. Starting since my cousins my siblings and myself were toddlers. They always made a point to get the most obnoxious, loud, and messy presents possible for their niece's and nephews. It escalated to the point that we received glitter bombs and marshmallow launchers, tons of body art, face paint, wall markers. Anything obnoxious you can think of, we probably received at some point.
ksemel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My SIL gave my 3 year old a keyboard this Christmas. When she opened it my husband looked at her with his saddest face and said "I thought we loved each other"
My in laws got her a tiny actual piano (non-electric) when she was 1. That thing is so hidden in our attic right now. So so hidden.
hhurdd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm extremely thankful for my sister-in-law and brother-in-law. Before I was in the picture my husband bought my niece the loudest, most annoying toys on the market. I stopped that real quick. Now they don't get our daughter anything outrageous. There was a barn incident on her first birthday from them, so they got a Fur Real friend for Christmas. We got sand toys this birthday.
Then the other aunt and uncle only buy her stuffed animals or babies and we do the same for their two. Babies and barbies.
Oh man, my sister and I had a keyboard too. A cheap one that made really annoying sounds. We loved that thing, but I'm sure my parents hated it. Especially that button that gave you a beat to play along to.
I wouldn't be mad at that at all. I was just teasing about you losing points. Plus, maybe I'm wrong because I only have boys, but I have distinct idea that girls are generally quieter with everything than boys.
Wait wait wait...you can't get mad at a keyboard, even if it is annoying. They're trying to encourage creativity! It's a musical instrument! I could understand if it was like a toy ray gun or something that just went WEEOOWEEOOWEEOOWEEOOWEEOOWEEOOWEEOO for as long as you held down the trigger, but a musical instrument should be exempt I would think.
That said, if it was truly an annoying gift, the body art thing is fucking savage payback and I congratulate you on that.
This is entirely how my family approaches presents for the little kids. We have a big christmas...4 generations, so quite a few young ones. Everyone gets the young kids the loudest, most obnoxious toy they can find.
My sister kept sending noisy things as presents. Some of the worst were the musical instrument set complete with a real triangle, and a keyboard that morphed kids voices into weird sounds. She never gifted anything that didn't make noise, and implied that I was depriving my kid of fun by not getting her enough loud things. Last Christmas I sent toy crossbow sets to her already hyper young boys, which they are still wreaking havoc with. She has been trying to accidentally lose them for awhile now. The revenge was glorious and we called a truce.
Haha, my sister gave her stepkids shepherd's whistles once to get back at their mother (who has primary custody) for something or other. Shepherd's whistles are used to signal a sheepdog from across the field so the shepherd doesn't have to yell commands. As such they are really fucking loud. And shrill.
My mum had three younger brothers and was a teenager when she got pregnant. I was nine when my first cousin was born. At that stage, she started sending me in to buy presents for the family - she'd come in and approve/pay. Her only request was for me to get the loudest toys possible, as she'd suffered it for nine years with no revenge.
I'm almost too scared to ask... but curiosity is winning over (and I could use some new ideas). How in the world would you use a child's musical keyboard for kinky sexy time? Or are you referring to the body art kit?
I'm Aunty to a lot of kids, but mother to none. I can't tell you what measure of devious joy I get out of giving children horrifically noisy toys. I know, I know. I'm a monster.
Highlights include: a Tickle Me Elmo armchair that giggled and vibrated (second Christmas), a remote control helicopter (fifth birthday), and a light-up plastic toy drumset that makes a variety of snare and cymbal sounds (first birthday).
I always include a huge package of batteries. Last Christmas, I got my niece several rechargeable AAs.
That's funny! The armchair would be the only thing that could present a problem. A one year old is easily distracted and the drum can be put away when I can't take it anymore. The helicopter would be broken by my boys within 5 minutes. :)
An armchair? How the heck am I gonna hide an armchair???
For jollies, I once nearly bought a harmonica for my friend's four year old. When I laughed and told her how close I was to buying it she told me she would have stuck it up my butt and to not even joke about things like that.
I had a friend once get my kids those decorative bottles and colored sand to fill them. That stuff got everywhere. If they added glitter to it, it would probably sell like hotcakes to little girls and women who like to decorate with everything sparkly and would be pretty in those bottles.
Reminds me of an episode of king of queens where Doug and carry hold a grudge against deacon and kelly and give their son a drum set for his birthday. Passive agressive purity
What else are relatives for but to buy the loudest, most annoying toys in the world?
My daughter is my parents first granddaughter and they keep buying loud toys as "payback" for when I was little as they put it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:19:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Congrats. We're all so proud of you.
*In case anyone was wondering. Said person was bragging about deciding to not have kids.
Ryelen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If I like you, I will buy your child a fun but quiet toy for their birthday / event. If I don't like you or you pissed me off recently. I will buy them the Glitter Shooting Noisemaker 3000 they have always wanted.
As an expectant mother next month who hates all noisey toys, I'm taking the piano tummy time off my registry right now. Thank you for reminding me it's a stupid idea. I just wanted to encourage him to play music
Random PSA to an expectant mom - the Fisher Price Laugh & Learn Love to Play Puppy will randomly go off, laughing and talking when the batteries are low. That really jacked with my head for a while.
Convince... Ha! My kids have learned that if they blow a whistle inside the house, they lose it.
I do my best to let them play and be boys, even noisy boys, but I have some parameters. I pretty much want to pick out noisy toys because I know what I can tolerate. I approved a replica leaf blower and chain saw even though they are loud, because I heard them in store and it wasn't too crazy.
I swear I'm don't insist on a silent house! :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I never fire the first shot, but the first loud gift that comes to our kid gets repaid with drums. We've given 2 of our nephews toy drums. We don't get visited much any more...
DoryS111 ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 18:32:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had an uncle who was stone deaf from birth. Every Christmas he gave my brother and me the loudest toys he could find and sat back peacefully enjoying the holiday while my mother gave him the stink eye every time she looked his way. Both my mother and her brother, my uncle, are gone now but it is still a funny memory my younger bro & I share today. BTW, my uncle was a life long bachelor.
My aunt thought it was cute to do that when I was little. Then her oldest was born 3 months before my little sister. It was war. They tried every year to outdo each other at Christmas and birthdays for the not just the noisiest, but most obnoxious gifts. They finally called a truce one Christmas when my mom bought her youngest (about 3or 4 years old) one of those wooden peg board things that you drove the pegs through the board with an actual miniature claw hammer, and my aunt bought me and my sister each those ping pong ball guns and a 100 pack of ping pong balls (this was the mid 80's version in which the ping pong balls came out with bruising force). It was glorious for us kids, but now as a parent, I realize how close murder was to the table all those years.
I do this as well. My niece and nephew get every musical thing appropriate for their age group. My brother hates me (and I don't plan on procreating so no payback)
As the oldest of 3, my nieces get whatever candy/ toys they want. Payback for driving me crazy as the oldest & getting to see each younger sibling get away with more and more bullshit that my parents would've never let fly with me.
I'm exactly the same. Last Christmas I got them all recorders, but not ones that could actually make a nice noise, the ones that are just loud and screechy and can be used as a blunt weapon
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, my aunt learned that one the hard way. She gave my brother and I all kinds of loud, obnoxious toys before she had kids, then acted shocked when my parents bought my cousin a drum set.
Brother of 3, uncle of 5.5(1 boy, 1 girl, 3 cats, and 1 in the oven). My toy methodology is this: Buy the cheapest toy with the easiest accessible noise maker. Toy makes noise by shaking? PERFECT! Toy makes noise by pressing the most obvious button? Great! Toy makes noise by pressing one of multiple smaller buttons? Good!
My sister is 8 1/2 months along. I have already started planning what to buy toy-wise and promised to teach my soontobeniece all my habits that annoy her! Cracking knuckles, dancing eyebrows, sound effects, the whole shebang.
Gifts like these come with us to the buyer's house on the next visit, and then are "accidentally" left there. Nana bought it, let her listen to that shit!
I'm older than all of my familial generation by 3 years and thus the first to have a kid. I'm also the guy that taught all the other kids how to annoy the parents. I have 7 aunts with a collective 13 children worth of devious shit that my child is going to learn.
I'm really excited, because as the eldest in my family, knowing full well my brother and sister plan on having kids with their partners, and i never will, i have so many more opportunities to annoy my brother and sister coming up!
audigex ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:08:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We just try our damn hardest to not allow any noise making toys into the house
This is what aunts and uncles are for, though. My mission at Christmas is to make sure my nephews receive the loudest, most irritating toys I can find
Serves my sister right for giving me vinegar instead of cola when I was thirsty at the zoo :(
But for real, there is a technique from some tribe or some shit where you temporarily get rid of tinnitus.
It's called beating the heavenly drum or something.
What you do is you hold your hands over your ears, put your fingers on the back of your head, put your index finger on top of your middle finger and slam your index finger into your head.
Do this fifty times and LO AND BEHOLD... Silence doctor
You should reconsider being friends with people that gift your children loud toys. There is high chance they are in proxy war with you due to grudge over some meaningless matter.
I used to be that guy, simply because as a kidless person I thought it was fun. Now I have godchildren, and there's only so much of that stupid Minion fart gun a man can take.
I have been redeemed.
ryken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom can't help herself. I'm not ready to give up on our otherwise amazing relationship due to that, but thanks for the advice.
Dopeaz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:02:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's harsh. 2 minutes with a screwdriver and wire clippers to neuter the speakers in annoying toys is all it takes.
My wife and I have literally told all our friends and family that we have a ban on loud and brightly flashing electric toys. We claim it's because we don't want the child "overstimulated" but really it's just for us. The kid doesn't care. Kids are just as happy with non-electric toys.
The noisy, flashy ones exist because they get noticed on the shelf by kids, not because they're more fun.
Yeah I'm not totally ideologically against technological toys. I have some great memories of ridiculous tech toys that I had a blast with (like Laser Tag!).
It's more there are so many that are designed to be intrusive with their noise and flashing lights to catch the attention of kids in the toy store. And that works to get the kid to grab it out of the 500 other toys in the store and ask the parents to get it for them, but it's also why parents quickly get sick of them. They're designed to be picked out specifically in a mass of other toys competing for attention of the shelf!
So not saying all our kids toys will be low-tech, but we'll pick the ones we let in. :)
I tried this with my son. His grandparents had something to say about it. Fucking toy vacuum cleaners and trucks with sirens. I would throw them all away if I knew my son wouldn't miss them.
Oh, they didn't literally have something to say. They just spoil him with annoying toys. Then he gets attached and then we don't have the heart to take them away. I would just forbid them from our house, but my wife isn't as committed to it as I am. ๐
I was reading a report about how most kids' toys are beyond the safe decibel rating for adults, let alone children. I know there is an app for measuring decibels. Moms can be appealed to change behavior if it benefits their children, when they wouldn't change it on their own behalf.
I test toys in the store, figure out if they'll annoy me in any way. Sure enough, once I think I've found a toy that won't annoy me, my daughter finds a way to make it annoying.
I avoid toys that make annoying noises, but not musical toys, seems important to have that in a childs early years.
ryken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Musical toys are loud, but they're not really that annoying. Kids are loud no matter what you give them. The annoying part is hearing the same fucking 5 second snippets over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
My brother tried to not allow any noise making toys in his house. As an uncle, I try to give my Nephews the loudest, most obnoxious toys on the market. I gave my nephew a race track that would play a song each time a car went down the ramp. I wanted to smash the dang thing after 10 minutes of my nephew using it but didn't want to spoil the great time my brother would have with it for the next months/years to come.
You don't have that childless friend or relative that always gives the kids something loud and obnoxious as gifts? My mom's best friend is childfree, and she's been amazingly fond of giving all the little kids in our family the loudest gifts possible. So much, in fact, that when one of my little cousins was turning three and stores were selling light-up Elsa and Anna dresses that VERY LOUDLY played 45-second snippets of either "Let It Go" or "For the First Time in Forever", this particular friend got a text message from my cousin's mom warning her to "NOT GET MY DAUGHTER THAT LIGHT-UP, MUSICAL ELSA DRESS." The friend bought the dress and asked my mom, who by that point hadn't had a kid that was into loud toys for 5-6 years, to give it to the cousin instead. My mom got such an angry glare from my cousin's mom when my cousin unwrapped the musical Elsa dress at her birthday party. She chuckled with her CF best friend about it a few minutes later.
Oh, yes, I remember playing with my wooden toys. I even didn't loose them because my parents took the liberty to conveniently nail them to a windowsill for me.
wootz12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Darn right, those wooden train sets were (are) awesome
rdewalt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm okay with battery/loud toys, as long as they have an Off switch.
Fucking Blues Clues toys seem to be designed, not only WITHOUT a way to power them off, but "Hey, come back and play with me" attract modes that last almost as long as the actual original play time.
If I can turn it off, it can get more than its original batteries.
And on the eighth day, God created the Melissa and Doug toy company, and he saw that it was good.
ryken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And on the ninth day, God created Thomas the Train sets, and he saw that is was good, and that Dads liked buying that shit too, and now Moms are a little upset about how much Dad just spent online.
Teach him how to carve. He might be young for it now, but when I got my first knife and learned how to shape wood... I made art. I made toys. I created things with my imagination and sticks, and it was awesome.
ryken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:37:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
His grandma is a hobbyist wood carver so it's entirely possible.
Is there, uh, any particular address I can send these totally not loud and obnoxious toys to? Asking for a, uh, charity?! ;)
(We just ask our daughter to keep the really loud ones in her room.)
snuff3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My family has a game. Each Christmas we'd find the loudest, most obnoxious toy we could for each kid. I still haven't forgiven my SIL for the musical bells she bought my kid. It was a pack of like 6 bells... like the school playground ones. Each bell had a different tone so you could make music. Eugh..
I've got a five year old nephew and trust me they find a way to make their own noise.
Kids just love to make loud, droning noises.
If you want quiet just don't be around a kid. Simple as that. Haha
ryken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:21:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not about noise. Noise is obviously unavoidable. It's about the same exact 5 second noise over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. You honestly have no clue about it because you don't have your own kids. Parents don't even hear the general racket kids make. In fact, I like when he is making random noises with his toys, because it means he is playing and not getting into trouble, but hearing a toy train sing the same 5 second song loop 8 million times in a row makes me want to kill people.
I can't tune it out cuz I'm just an uncle, so I don't get that white noise constantly so I can adapt to it. I just get it in small doses, like once a week when I'm around the little guy.
Love my nephews, holy hell, kids, I didn't make that much noise when I was that age. Did I?
ryken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You made more noise because there was less technology to distract you.
bl1y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a toy store and we sell accordions for babies and I'm sorry.
My parents tried this on my sister for a while. But when she smacks the toys together, they're still pretty loud.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am I the only parent who doesn't mind my son having loud toys? One of my son's favorite toys is one of those guns that lights up and makes a bunch of different sounds.
Kids are loud. Don't have kids if you can't tolerate noise.
OreBear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How old is he? My younger brother was the same, up to a point. Then he found out about electric trucks and never asks for anything else.
And they're sitting there thinking "does Daddy really not know how to put batteries in a thing? Better not say anything, don't want to hurt his feelings."
To the request? If they are local, just sweetly say,"This looks like such fun! It can be a special toy for Bo to play with when we visit your house! We'll just keep it there."
Or make sure the kid only plays with it when they are visiting. If that doesn't work, mention the doctor mentioned little Bo's ears have <insert medical term in-laws don't understand> And it ant good for him to have loud toys. People seem to respect doctors more than parents.
rdness ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:52:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In that case maybe I should be praising makers of tech for switching to non-removable batteries...
Sorry buddy, this is just like the iPhone, non-replaceable batteries
Can your kids come to the store with me? I am out of batteries for my tv remote and keep forgetting to get them. Heck, I keep forgetting to go to the store!
You know what helps? Tell them they have to pay for the replacement batteries. They'll be all cocky and excited until they see the price, make the unsure decision to purchase the batteries anyway then realize all that money went to making one toy work exactly as it used to. Unless it's a super kick ass toy they likely will lose interest and you can drop the toy in your donation box.
On the flipside of this my first win as a stepdad was figuring out that the battery on the toy Thomas the Tank Engine was, in fact, replaceable, allowing it to once again move around and haul cargo.
Friend of mine bought my kid a really obnoxious toy. He knew what he was doing, as he laughed about the present a few days later. When it was his daughters birthday I bought her a glitter bomb card which launched glitter all over the room and took weeks to clean up. The present itself was a glitter and glue craft. It came with 12 or 15 bottles of glitter. It has been 2 years. He still finds glitter around the house.
GAF78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We were kinda poor so once the batteries ran down we just had a broken toy.
My parents did this to me until I was like 12. I grew up thinking batteries were so expensive we couldn't afford them AT ALL. Like if the toy didn't come with batteries with a charge, it never got batteries. To this day, over 20 years later I still have a weird hesitation to buy batteries because they're "so expensive".
I've blown $200 on strippers in one night and experienced 0 financial hardship. But I still hesitate to buy batteries...
Waniou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend's 3 year old knows about batteries but even if he didn't, he's under the assumption that adults can fix anything so if a toy has flat batteries, he keeps trying to give it to you and whines "heeeeeeeeeeeeelp, it's broooooookeeeeeeennnnn :( :( :("
gpjpg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I put tape over the speakers of every noise-making toy in the house.
Cuts down noise by 2-3x.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The trick is to get toys that run on D cells, or that take about 20 of those flat coin style batteries. I remember as a kid in the early 90's, all those awesome 80's era toys were powered by the most expensive and inefficient batteries known to man. So the old "the batteries are too expensive lie" would not be a lie.
stygyan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:48:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Real story: an old man came to the store I worked in a few hundred years ago and asked for a new battery for his cellphone. I told him the price and he went all goggle-eyed and asked me "I have to pay so much for this every time my phone turns off?".
He thought the battery was disposable and nobody had ever told him he could charge his phone.
NK7_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:35:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My kids figured out the battery thing. I have to tell them we are out. Most of the toys have screws that keep you from opening then without a screw driver.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Commies hate him!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Until that child grows up throwing away perfectly utilizable items because the batteries died.
25 year old throws away $2000 Nikon camera. "Piece of crap. I only got like 100 photos before it died."
Kid is 25 years old bursting at the seams with excitement asking their coworkers if they heard of these new things that make it so you don't have to throw out your TV remote anymore
My dad actually did buy a new printer every time we ran out of ink for the longest time because it was cheaper. I got him to switch to a laser printer, specifically one that checks toner balance with an optical indicator so he can tape over it and keep using the toner until the pages are too grey for his eyes.
Well, if he did that, he would hopefully be living in some sort of halfway house or care home, because clearly his learning and problem-solving is stunted at the level of a three-year old.
kennyl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:37:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Satan would be proud.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:10:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like the smarter option would be to not buy them toys that are annoying.
When something shockingly doesn't work anymore, kids can put it in the Santa Box.
When we send it to Santa, he can fix it for other kids, and know that my kids were being very sharing, and helps him know what to bring them as a reward.
toymakers have countered this by using ridiculously efficient electronics that run on, i swear to god, what must be microjoules of power, and they have got to be sticking lithium cells in there with joule-thief power circuits(so they can run until the battery is well and truly gone).
the life-span on a lot of electronic toys is insane.
When the power went off, our daughter told me that the house needed new batteries. She thinks everything runs on batteries. I assume if the cat were to die, she'd say we should replace its batteries.
That's great short term, but those kids will have a life changing revelation when they figure it out. Probably worth it though those toys can get very annoying
ryken ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:07:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha bless your heart you sweet summer child. Unless you're ready to rip birthday and christmas presents from grandma and grandpa out of your child's hands, you're not going to stop this shit from entering your house.
Oh my child was never to touch a toy made of plastic, only natural materials, etc etc.
She's now 15w and bounces in a lightup noisemaking chair thing while watching pororo on television.
People don't realize everything changes when you have real children. The decisions are different when you have to make them in reality instead of theoretically.
My house, my rules. My kids are teenagers now, and we handled it pretty easily.
Grandma #1 went for educational toys, which are generally quiet. Lots of crafts and books. +1.
Grandma #2 we plied with laziness. We bought alllll the Christmas presents off Amazon and had them shipped right to her house. She got to wrap and pay for them and never had to leave the house, plus she knew the kids would like whatever it was. (Her biggest fault has been buying a ton of crap from the dollar store and handing it over ... it breaks in ten minutes. Ugh.)
She bought one horrid pinball thing one year. Awesome. We left it at grandmas house so it could be a "special grandma toy." And boy was it! Every time the kids came over, out it came. SHE got to deal with the noise level. Enjoy that, grandma.
The truly uncontrollable thing has been how grandparents fill the kids with caffeine and sugar, shake well, and hand them back.
I can't understand a lot of toys. Why would you buy your brat a little plastic kitchen when you have a whole real kitchen where you can teach your little one how to cook?
Maybe because one they can play with unsupervised with relative safety while the other contains knives, garbage disposals, high temperatures and other dangerous items that would require constant diligent care of the parent- leaving little time to actually cook meals?
The little one also isn't equipped to handle sharp blades or hot ovens. Even EasyBake won't sanction their stuff below either 8 or 10 years old.
Little guys copy you. It's how they gain skills. So a little wooden knife and a set of velcro'd vegetables allows them to "chop" without losing a finger.
As a HUGE plus, you get to cook in the kitchen yourself without tripping over the toddler or accidentally pouring boiling water on their head.
My uncle just didn't tell his kids about batteries at all - he didn't tell them "hey your firetruck could play sirens and have lights if we put batteries in it!" but instead that "the lights in the picture are just for advertising" and so on.
eastek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did this. Kids have since figured it out, but the good news is I have three boys. No toy lasts for more than 5 minutes. Mom minutes that last freekin' forever for Mom.
One of my friends bought my son a v-tech piano. It didn't have an on/off switch. It also continued to make noise randomly for half an hour after the last button press. This was about 8 or 9 years ago. He's getting married soon and the moment I hear they're expecting I'm going to start hunting for the most annoying toy I can find and preload it with some God DAMN super batteries.
That's what my older sister would do with her boys. The plan worked well until Nana and Papa came over to visit from out of state with a fresh jumbo pack of batteries. They replaced the batteries in EVERY noise making/light up toy. My sister was dumbstruck.
Not sure if I taught him, I mean I must have, but my son caught on to batteries early and fast. At 3 or 4 he already knew about AA, AAA, and even button batteries. Fortunately, he seems to have outgrown most of the annoying battery-operated toys.
We did try this, both our parents sent us the noisiest, most obnoxious toys while we were stationed overseas, they considered it payback.
Problem was, even in military housing where we had maintenance people that fix everything, they were horrible at prioritizing "emergency problems" versus "it can wait". We had an emergency, after calling, and getting nothing, I took it upon myself to fix the problem with my own tools, which I did...
This was when my 3 year old figured out that "daddy fixes things", the problem there is, I like to fix things, so when she brought me her favorite (obnoxious) toy with tears in her eyes because it sounded like the fucking devil...daddy fixed it...and regretted it 20 minutes later.
My parents and my aunt/uncle seemingly had a contest on who could buy the loudest toy for the other families children. I think the winner was a laser gun with 4 different loud ass sounds. They still bring it up sometimes.
That was our tactic as well. Interestingly, when we've mentioned this to friends, some reacted as if we'd just admitted to beating our children for fun.
There was actually a study done on baby/kids toys that determined most of the toys volume was at a level higher than what adult ears could handle. So can you imagine what it does to kid ears?? My sister does things to reduce the sound on toys, like tape over the little speaker. She hasn't figured out how to fix the loud ass vacuume toy though...
geomela ยท 1398 points ยท Posted at 14:51:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure kids should have access to the ass vacuum, tbh.
Trial and error. Less current = less volume. Speakers are a little tricky, but I'm not afraid of destroying the sound on a few toys to figure out the best way to do things.
Or just take a dental pick (useful to have around for prying apart snap-together electronics and for soldering) and jam it in the speaker holes until you've disfigured the speaker enough that it's considerably quieter. Then Junior can't get wise and peel the tape back off in the middle of a nice quiet afternoon.
Airstew ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:01:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on how technically inclined you are, and how easy it is to access the toy's innards, you might want to try adding a resistor right on the speaker leads. That would definitely be the most permanent solution for lowering volume without rendering the toy inoperable.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:50:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that toy doesnt die. i saw that popping vacuum toy at my friend's the other day and remembered annoying the hell out of my parents with it when I was 4.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:17:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually loved it when my son played with the popping vacuum. I could always tell where he was in the house and as long as it kept making noise, I knew he wasn't getting into any trouble, lol.
My mom did this with every noise-making toy I ever had. Packing tape, sometimes multiple layers, over the speaker. I didn't really get why at the time, but I'm pretty thankful for it now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What toys? I remember having the lazer guns that just made a quiet beep sound.
The funny thing is my sister didn't even buy it. She hates the damn thing. My nieces other aunt (on her dad's side, not my sibling) got it for her one Christmas. It's a Minnie Mouse toy so my niece ended up falling in love with it, and my sister didn't have the heart to throw it out.
I had this really loud electric train set as a kid, and my dad was handy with electronics. He actually opened it up and soldered a resistor into the speaker circuit to lower the volume.
Damn that's a good idea with the tape over the speaker. I am going to do that.
Like your sisters problem with the Vacuum toy though, I have a problem with my sons battery operated four wheeler, he sits on it and likes to drive it into a wall and just hold the button so the wheels keep spinning and the motors on those things WHINE so bad.
Emilia_S ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:00 on August 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just open up the toy and pull the plug from the speaker. Working toy, no more sounds.
Not mine. I'm not sure how she isn't dead. She's eaten, wood, metal, plastic, carpet, carpet padding, pillow fluff, leather, couch cushioning, and a bunch of other shit I can't remember.
My mom did this with my younger brothers when they were like 4. Got them handheld dustbusters for christmas one year. They liked playing with them and the house was mad clean for months.
I really don't understand why kid's vacuums don't actually clean. They just make god-awful noise with no good result.
And every toy bucket, no matter how small, has a hole in it somewhere so it can't actually hold water. Safety no doubt. Can't have a kid drown in a 5-oz cup.
Yes. I'd have put batteries in the toy vacuum long ago if it actually cleaned. I don't even care if it is crummy at cleaning but sucks up some stuff. She could play all day long, to her hearts content.
Instead we have a Rumba. If they can have the technology to make a robot vacuum, they certainly can make a toy Dyson do something.
I remember this. My ex grandparents had one at their cabin. We went their every year. I played with that a lot. It was crazy noisy. Now I know why my mom didn't care it was noisy as fuck and let my play with it all day.
Our two year old loves to help vacuum. I have to periodically ask her to stand aside and show me how she can count to ten so I can get the vacuuming done.
Not in my house! Cordless stick vac is the perfect "toy" for my 3 year old to push about. He thinks he's getting to play with an adult toy and I'm secretly getting him to clean the house.
JorusC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Get one that converts into a canister-type, and the hose attachment is plenty light enough for your 3-year-old. My little guy loves vacuuming!
I was about to say just tell the kid, and then I remembered that I took the batteries from a talking baby-doll my daughter had that needed to have the bottle put in its mouth to stop crying. Super annoying at 2am. For the longest time, she thought she'd let her baby die and that she was a bad "mom." She's an adult now, but doesn't want to have kids. Coincidence?
My friends quickly replaced their child's toy vacuum with a lightweight functional vacuum after realizing how much the kid loved it. Now they have a chore monkey!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:22:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just remembered my dad pulled that on me once. Fuck.
I knew my mother-in-law hated me when she gave our kids a toy vacuum cleaner for Christmas. And even after we left it in her house because it was too much to take on the plane overseas (from Spain to US), she still brought it the next time she came to visit.
y2knole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:58:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Theres a bottom drawer at our house with bulk packs of AAA, AA, C, and D batteries and a #1 phillips head.
Even my 4 year old knows how to change batteries on her own now.
The particularly obnoxious toys get sold by my wife on the local mommy's FB buy/sell/trade groups for pennies on the dollar.
There are two keyboard/microphone combinations stashed under my work bench inthe garage now.
Another mom in my parents group had her kids convinced that batteries were really expensive and a luxury they couldn't afford. So for Christmas that year her son asked Santa for batteries for all of his existing, now silent toys.
Now see, my brother bought both my kids a megaphone off of Amazons "most annoying toys" list. I just let my kids play with it for a fee days and then told them it was too loud and put it away. They agreed and haven't taken it out since
I have a friend who i exchange toys with every Christmas. It's been an escalating war. I get his kids something that is incredibly loud and he gets our something incredibly messy. Drums was a doozy because he has no basement but when he got my daughter a full oil paint set for her 7th XMAS I had to replace carpet. Son of a bitch won.
This reminds me of my dad! I got play-doh as a gift as a 'house warming' gift when I was ~3. I kept wanting to play with it, but my dad was concerned with our new house's carpets. So, he told me that we didn't have the batteries. To 3 year old me (in the late 80s, the time of "batteries not included") it made total sense.
However, the fallout was life-scarring for both my mother and me. Every time we'd be checking out at the grocery store, my mom would ask if we needed anything else. Every week for YEARS I'd say we needed batteries. Every few weeks my mom would think of something that we probably needed batteries for and pick them up. We ended up needing a battery DRAWER in our kitchen to store them all.
As of a few years ago, every time my mom would leave the grocery store, she'd go to the battery aisle to check to see if there were any batteries we were in need of. I ended up with a battery drawer of my own after I moved out.
I dated a nanny, shed let the kids play with loud toys in the bathtub
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It took standard AA batteries but the bloody thing was ten times louder than the actual vacuum cleaner.
Why not get kids actual dirt devils? They can start their complaining early. (Sitting around, 3rd grade lunch) You think you had it rough? My mom had me vacuuming the house when I was 2.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have the mental image of you trying to dry-vacuum the living room, looking up at your mum with big round eyes, quivering lip...
jdoe5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Give him the real vacuum cleaner and put him to work
Negafox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I tried this until my middle daughter went to go find replacements on her own accord. "These look the same! Where's the screwdriver?" -_-
Which, the kids are somehow afraid of! My mom tried to buy whistles for the kids for Christmas. I said she could get them only if they were to remain at her house. She told me I was no fun. Woman, please! I am fun until.i.have dealt with hour after hour of yelling and hight pitch whistling! It is.bad enough all the toys make noise if you leave them for more than a few minutes. Sometimes you need a break!
Batteries wore out, and the voice sounded like an old scary man, and went off in the middle of the night. It freaked the fuck out of me and I ran down the hall to the living room, only to find my parents buck nekid, laying on the floor in front of the fire place. My mom was pulling on my dad's 'hooter' (fanny and hooter were the preferred anatomy terms in our Catholic/prude house). It was stretched out sooo far!
EDIT: My mom told me dad's hooter was sore.
That memory is seared into my brain, and to this day I am still confused: either my dad has a huge hooter, or is that how you really give hand jobs? Stretching it the fuck out?
You could have been grooming your child to do all the house work but you just had to go and fuck it up, didn't you?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lmao, when I was 5 I had a horse that would neigh when I pressed a button. One day, it randomly broke, but I found out the button had been cut out and the wire broken. I threw the biggest fit I ever did yelling at my parents and my siblings for breaking it. I think that's the only time I willingly went to be before dinner because I was so angry at them.
I had seen a cute little popper thing for my kid, so I decided to get what I thought is the same thing, but I was wrong: I got the fisher price corn popper. WHY?! Luckily kiddo is too afraid of it so far.
I have a friend who got her kid a little dirt devil handheld vacuum when he loved she toy vacuums so much. Tricked him into actually helping clean!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish the batteries for one if my daughter's toys would die. The electronic ball will be quiet for days or weeks, then suddenly, at stupid o'clock at night when we're watching a movie will say "I seeeeeeee yooooooou". Totally the creepiest fucking thing EVER!!
Why don't they make mini child sized vacuums that actually work if kids like doing that kind of stuff? I don't have kids but if I did I would be all over that.
You do know that just teaches them that their moms a liar right? And don't say that I don't know shit about kids (which I'm sure that people will comment) I have 9 younger siblings.
My kids don't think I'm a liar, I'm human, so are they. It's all cool here.
Hopefully. I have seen a kid where their parents did this constantly. They couldn't tell them 1 ounce of truth if their life depended on it. Kid ended up moving away due to college and never coming back. He had trust issues.
Small lies here and here aren't to much of an issue.
But the issue is that lied about a topic which could be a learning experience. Kid plays with loud toy? Teach him the concept of quiet time. It helps him out and you in two different ways.
He learns how to handle situations and how to be thoughtful.
You learn not to use lies as a way out. Why is this important? Because lying is the easy way out. But it also might become natural for you to do so. Kid can't go to the park" It's going to rain" when you know it isn't. Kid wants toy "It's not going to work" when it does. You slowly and subconsciously learn to lie and eventually he'll catch on.
Sorry the toy was loud. But all I'm saying is don't start a bad habit which can truly damage your kids trust on you. You teach him that lying is cool. don't be suporise when he does the same. But I'm sure you won't do that. Some people aren't so lucky
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to point out that if this is being kept up, some kids learn to throw stuff away because it is no longer working.
"Oh? this expensive rechargeable toy isn't working anymroe? Just throw it away."
One time while I was gone from the house when I was little, my dad and my beta fish were left at the house together. The fish had this weird eye disease that my dad hated to watch (it was pretty sad) When I got home he had 'died' and my dad gave him a funeral in the sewers. Some say he still swims in shit to this day.
I explained the "dog to the farm" lie to an adult coworker of mine and she said, "But when I was little my parents sent my dog to a farm to help out when he got older..." Then she realized what had really happened. Her mouth dropped open and her eyes got big. "Ah damn it."
stygyan ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:51:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents sent my dog to a farm, but it was a real farm. Basically we didn't think it was going to grow up so much, and when we noticed his weight was on the 200# mark and that on his hind feet he was a hand taller than me, well... we called a friend of my brother, who had a farm with more dogs and bitches, and let said friend adopt him.
We sent our dog to uncle's farm when she kept jumping through a window and breaking the glass. He ended up having to shoot her because she kept eating the chickens. To be fair, they told us (most) of the truth: "she got shot, and died."
We legitimately sent a cat to a farm when I was 14-ish. She was constantly pissing on the brand new carpet so we found a place where she could be a barn cat and piss wherever she wanted. Helped drop her off myself.
I now have a 2 year old dog of my own and already I can tell when she's gone, I'm going to wish I had someone who could convince me she just went to a farm :(
Korbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You could always find a farm for her to retire to when she gets old yourself, then you wouldn't have to know exactly when she goes.
kennyl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:36:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, someone had to tell her. That's still kind of sad though.
Yup. I had that terrible moment of clarity in my late teens, too. Third grade, my dog had to "go to the doctor so they can study what's wrong with him". Any requests to visit were shut down politely, with some quick redirection. It wasn't until I talked to a friend who was working as a vet tech, who explained that vets don't really do that kind of research. Dammit, mom and dad! Now I feel sad AND gullible.
My parents had a potbelly pig that they literally sent to the farm. I have photographic proof somewhere. I tell people and they just give me this sad look...
I had a friend who earnestly believed that her dog had gone to live on the farm. Like there's a farm that specialises in elderly dogs that can't even walk.
She was about 13 at the time.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:20:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I JUST HAD A REVELATION.
I'm going to go sit silently and contemplate some things.
Funny enough, when my dog was 7 or 8, my parents told me that they gave him to a "farm" to enjoy his life instead of having to live in a house all day. I just assumed they euthanized him. It wasn't until 5 years later I got a call from some number regretting to inform me that Fudge had passed on their "farm".
My husband's rabbit "ran away and met a lady rabbit and had a family". Coincidentally, a bunch of chickens and geese went missing from the farm that day.
10+ years later, husband is telling me this story and realizes "wait, how would my parents know my rabbit met a lady bunny?" He calls his dad and the truth finally came out - a coyote got into the barn and killed the bunny and the other animals. His dad spent the whole morning trying to clean up the carnage before the kids woke up.
There's a reason New York State has no limit on how many coyotes you can shoot, so long as you shoot them during the proper hunting season. Coyotes are nasty bastards.
80Eight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Goats stomp coyotes like they are getting paid to do it.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:47:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate this one - my neighbors did it to their kids and just to make it worse they set it up so it was "Astralrayn LET your dog run away!" so the blame couldn't possibly be on them.
They went on a 2 week summer vacation and asked me to check on and feed their two dogs on a set schedule, they gave me the vet number for emergency and told me to keep an eye on one of the dogs because he "didn't seem to be eating a lot." 10 year old me didn't know that was a red flag. The dog was dying, they knew it, so they dumped it on me. He died not even 4 days into it, I found him under their basement stairs cold and stiff, which terrified me, I'd never touched anything dead before and I'd touched him because I didn't know what was wrong at first. I ran screaming from the house, ugh. Not my best moment.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:30:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol i read it as Australian and i was like, those damn aussies
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm never going to see my username the same way again!
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:39:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up with a chow chow for 10 years. One day, I get home from school and go out and play with my friends. We lived on the base in Kingston, Ontario, and there's loads of woods and paths and stuff around Fort Henry. After a few hours, we all wound up at my place and I asked my father where the dog was. He says "I thought you just ignored that he wasn't here." I said "Where is he?" That's when he told me he had to be put down. I had no idea anything was even wrong with him. 10 year old me cried in front of a dozen military kids between 11 and 16 years old. And they all just stared.
I'm almost certain my mom "got rid" of our cat, Tinsel. He used to piss on the basement floor and it was only a matter of time before she snapped. He was also an inside/outside cat that conveniently didn't come home one morning, which provided an excellent built-in excuse for my mother to get away with furder. "Must've been eaten by a coyote or something". She acts a little squirrely to this day when you bring him up so I think there's something there..
Or the old "Went to live on a farm." Honestly, "ran away" would have made me worry forever. Were they okay? Hurt? Cold? Hungry? Hit by a car? Saying they ran away is terrible!
My classic momism. We had bunnies we won in an silent auction at school. We didn't know how to care for them and they were really sick all teh time. I remember some particularly bloody stool one day and then the next day...they were gone. Where did they go? "The garbage man adopted them!"
I seriously thought the garbage man took them to live with him...
According to my brother this really happened to our cat (I was too young to remember) he says he was there when they brought him there. Cat still ran away from the farm and died tho
qweers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, if I were running away, that's what I would do. Need toys on the road.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:19:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish mine had at least lied occasionally. Dad always felt the need to share in detail about how he found the dead cat and it's eye had popped out from the car hitting it, etc.
What a manipulative dog you had Timmy...he packed all his bowls and toys while mumbling: I was never here. That will show you for not playing Frisbee with me last week, little shit
My mom told my lil brother the dog ran away but told me she left it off on the side of the highway near the Vet place..
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My rabbit "ran away" when I was younger, somehow managing to unlatch its cage from the inside... I was a teenager when I mentioned it to my dad and commented on how smart rabbits must be. He laughed and said, "oh, it froze to death. I threw it in the woods and left the door open so you'd find it like that." :(
"Timmy, Lexx told us he wanted to play on a farm, so we took him to a big farm just for dogs like Lexx so he could play with the other dogs. He will be happy there.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:41:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was around 7yo I got the story of how a "poor little boy in a wheelchair" saw my dog at the vet and he just loved her sooo much and wanted a dog like her that my parents felt "so terrible" because the boy's mom said the child didn't have long left, so my parents gave my best friend away and she went to live with this boy on his farm.
I'm 43yo, a successful physician and my two older brothers still SWEAR this is what happened to my dog, they will not admit my parents either gave the dog to the vet for whatever reason or had her put down (which I doubt, she was a young dog).
CB4life ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:45:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This just reminds me of when my mom found out that her rabbit she had growing up didn't run away- her mom made it for dinner one night.
Mine was "sorry but the stereo ate that tape you like... and the store doesn't sell them anymore" Really? It's 1996 and the store doesn't sell Hootie and the Blowfish tapes anymore? They just completely ran out and then decided that they wouldn't stock the best-selling album of the last year? One of the fastest selling albums of all time? 16x platinum? And Walmart just said "nah, we won't sell that anymore"?
That gets really creepy if you continue the song....
xav00 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:43:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine was "sorry but the stereo ate that tape you like... and the store doesn't sell them anymore" Really? It's 1996 and the store doesn't sell Hootie and the Blowfish tapes anymore? They just completely ran out and then decided that they wouldn't stock the best-selling album of the last year? One of the fastest selling albums of all time? 16x platinum? And Walmart just said "nah, we won't sell that anymore"?
I don't know, but that's a world I would want to live in.
I actually believed her until I got my own car and drove to the store and found out Walmart still sells them in 2003. Yes, actual physical tapes, not CDs.
Really? That's just insulting. How about, "If I hear that song one more time, I'm going to lose my mind. Here's a Walkman/iPod with headphones. Don't bust it."
Well, that was right around the time when CDs were becoming hugely populer, and tapes were becoming increasingly hard to find. Maybe she hoped her lie had just enough truth to it to convince you. On that note, I recently just started re-using a stereo at home that has a tape deck in it (along with a CD player). I'm curious enough to look around to see if I have any old mix tapes from my college years in the 90s.
1996 sounds about right for CDs, rather than tapes...
joshi38 ยท 1951 points ยท Posted at 15:01:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My mother didn't even lie to me about it. My favourite toy, wasn't loud, it was a stuffed duck (before you look to my username, no I'm not him), I played with him every day, and then one day he was gone. I asked my mother where he was. "Oh, it was getting ratty and I was tired of fixing it all the time, so I threw it away."
I miss you Fred.
EDIT: Since some people seem to like to take a single moment of poor judgement on my mothers part and decide she's a bitch or worse, I'd like to clarify that she's actually a wonderful woman and an amazing mother. She likely wasn't aware of how much it meant to me and to her defence, she had probably repaired Fred about 30 times before deciding to throw it out.
Damn. I'm 24 and just recently found my ratty old stuffed lion (aptly named Roar) My mother insisted on taking him for the day to repair a small hole in his ear, then she got him dry-cleaned and gave him back.
As an adult, my dog got a hold of my bear from my childhood and literally tore his face off. I called my mother hysterical. She thought one of my kids had been killed I was crying so hard. She told me to put the bear and his stuffing/scraps into a bag. The next time she came to NY to visit me, she sewed him back up. It was probably the 100th time she had to sew that bear but hopefully this was the last time.
I love that this exists. Like if it's a severe injury that I cannot fix, I can send it to the professionals. Like if our future dog (we really want a dog) rips it apart or something.
This is amazing! I'm gonna write this down. My daughter is a little under a year and some of her favorite toys are already going ratty. I could sew some of them, but the really bad ones we could send to the teddy bear hospital. How cute!
zip_000 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 17:36:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Option two is to, once the kid has identified which toy is going to be their "special" toy, just go ahead and buy two of them. That way you have a replacement handy.
The master level of this strategy* - which we didn't realize until later - is to regularly rotate out the two copies of the toy (like the Olsen twins on Full House). That way they won't notice that the toy is suddenly new again and doesn't smell right if you ever actually lose one of them.
My daughters favorite stuffed animal is a meerkat that we got from a zoo a while back. Once I realized she was attached I bought 2 more on Amazon (for 1/3 the price at the zoo!) and I rotate them so they all wear evenly. She's only 1 so she hasn't noticed.
See that isn't a bad idea, but I worry that if my kid realizes it, it will sow the seeds of distrust because of the deception. Like who's the REAL toy? Was there ever a real toy? What if the toy is just a lie?
I prefer the idea of a battle-weary stuffed toy that carries the scars from years of play.
I think the primary reason to this is if that Green monkey your child has been obsessed with since birth suddenly gets left at the zoo and you don't realize it until you're in the car 50 miles away and your child starts that chin tremble followed by crocodile tears....
Magically, you get home and Green Monkey is there! It was magic and mommy has saved the day. Your child is none-the-wiser and thinks a miracle happened that day.
Don't worry about it, it happened to my sister. My sister had 7 multiples of her stuffed bunny. My mom was a pro about wearing them out evenly. Then one day, one of the baby sitters was an idiot and left the laundry room door open, and my sister saw all 7 of them lying on top of the drier.
She figured out that she could tell them apart by how worn out the manufacturer tags were. She'd sit there with all of them in a pile and go "Not bunny...not bunny...Bunny!" It was quite amusing actually. If anything I think it taught her observation skills.
kaeroku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah man, you're just preparing them to enjoy Portal later in life.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My youngest bro did this and his kid caught on pretty quickly -Sammy the Lion became Sammies the Lions pretty quickly but the kid didn't seem to mind having an extra.
zip_000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We never actually implemented the stratagem; our backup copies of each of my kids favorite toys (a blue bear in a bow tie, and oddly enough a My Little Pony from McDonald's) are still pristine in their packaging. Instead of being backup copies now they are really more like something to give the kids when they are older to maybe give to their kids.
I have 3 little girls with tons of stuffed animals. Unfortunately many of them are cheap and poorly made. We have an animal hospital every couple of months where they bring me everything with holes or that needs repair and we restuff and fix them all.
We do this with my dog's toys. He only really like stuffed animals. Every few months I pull out the toys that have tears and my sisters and I get together and start sewing.
Been doing this for 7 years now. Fortunately my wife (daughters step mom) is significantly better at sewing than I am. My daughter has a green rabbit she's had since birth, so far the mouth has been stitched back on by me twice, and a hole in her ear was covered by a way too big blue/purple patch until my wife took it and fixed it properly while we were engaged.
I think if my husband tried sewing, he'd sew his hand to the toy first lol
I know the basics, like I can ugly-hem a pair of pants and sew on buttons, but not much more than that. Over the years I'll probably get better as I repair torn up kid clothes because I expect my kids to play outside and get torn-up knees and etc because that's what kids do.
I definitely almost did that the first time. A sewing needle hurts! Haha
MHG73 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When they get to an appropriate age, teach them to fix their own clothes. Then when they are adults themselves they can do their own repairs instead of calling you or paying someone. My mom taught me to sew just basic repairs and I'm so glad now that I'd have to pay to replace things myself.
I wonder if by fixing the toy you're making children much more needy and dependant on you, or teaching them a lesson by saying things break and not to get to attached.
Emmia ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:30:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's definitely not teaching them not to get attached-- If anything, it's teaching them that things break, and with a little elbow grease, it doesn't have to be thrown away.
kaeroku ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:11:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps they learn that things break and that sometimes, if you're willing to put time and effort in, broken doesn't mean "garbage" but rather "longevity."
This could possibly extend into other aspects of life, encouraging an ethic which involves working on problems to resolve them rather than throwing the baby out with the bathwater...
I work at a daycare and took a stuffed puppy home to stitch up the holes along the edge of his stomach... Everyone though I was totally going out of my way to do it..
I mostly did it because when the twin 4 month old boys start crying usually flopping the ears on the pink puppy is the only thing I can think of that calms them down.
When I was little, I had a stuffed puppy (named "Puppy", hah) - my mom fixed it really crudely but no matter what it looks like, it's still one of my most prized possessions... Definitely fix toys for your kids, because you never know how much they will mean to the child decades down the road.
My wife and I bought multiples of my son's favorite bear (Lotso from Toy Story 3). Neither one of us has the skills to fix it, so we need backups. ๐
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:16:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
You're going to be an awesome parent!
I still have my favorite stuffed toy which was fixed several times by my mom and grandma. My grandma passed 10+ years ago, but I still feel "connected" to her because of that toy and its "scars" where she worked her wonders.
That's what my mom did with me. I have a stuffed animal I've had for as long as I can remember (still not sure what animal it is, maybe a bear or mouse.) Around the time I turned 10, my mom got tired of sewing her up all the time. She finally told me "I'm not repairing her anymore. If you tear her or rip her, you're going to sew her. And that's how I learned how to sew.
I run a children's psych program, I clocked more hours doing stuffing transplants on injured stuffed animals than some of my actual responsibilities. Its a great way to earn their trust
I was just faced with a torn up stuffed animal that was of course my nephews favorite toy. I have practically no sewing skills but I managed to pull it off.
http://imgur.com/a/c80yU
My Da did that. I was obsessed with Curious George (still am). Took him everywhere, shared my food with him, and couldn't sleep without him. Needless to say, he was super ratty & stank to high heaven. Legs fell off, his face tore and seams popped open. But Da could make him all better. Then George would have to leave on Christmas Eve to help Santa (like most kids, I wasn't going to sleep anyhow). George would always be waiting for me in the morning, all perfect and clean. Because Santa was magical. Wonder how many of those my Da bought over the years...
My little brother accidentally left his favourite toy/comfort item leaning up against the fireplace when he was little. Safe to say the whole face melted off of it. He was hysterical. Mum dug around and pulled out a Christmas hat and one of her favourite pair of trousers for the right material and promptly gave that toy a head transplant. Mum's are awesome.
My six year old daughter has a 30+ year old cabbage patch doll that she named "my own baby." she has lots of dolls with names, some of which are rather unusual (Piranha...) but this doll is just "my own baby." my husband and I call it "mob".
Anyway, my daughter loves this thing more than anything else in the world. She has had it since she was around 2 and it's her most special thing in the world. One day around 2-3 years ago, my dog was extremely stressed about something and ripped on of "mob's" legs off. I am not a talented seamstress. Mob now has one Frankenstein leg that is way shorter than the other. But my daughter still loves it as much as ever.
triaspia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:05:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Keep a "spare" thats (teddy)'s stunt double that fills in for teddy on days teddy is unwell
My parents, aunt and uncle fixed up one toy for my sister in a way that you might find useful someday as well; my sister had a stuffed rabbit named "Dunny" that she loved so much that it became a threadbare mess with a mangled ear and missing bits, and no matter how many times mom sewed it up again, it was getting real ratty. My aunt came up with the idea of tracking down the same stuffed rabbit to replace it, under the guise of a "magic detergent" they would wash Dunny with. So my little sister got the detergent under the Christmas tree and got to put the detergent in the wash with Dunny, and later on take "Bunny" out of the dryer, perfectly renewed and fixed. She was thrilled.
This was before the internet was useful for this kind of thing so my aunt, uncle and parents went to literally hundreds of baby and toy stores to find that identical rabbit, which was probably 6-7 years old at the time anyway.
Years later my sister was messing around with things in storage at the top of her closet -- old baby clothes and the like -- and the original Dunny fell out on her head. She was fucking thrilled because from that point on she had two, and she remained thrilled even after mom explained how it worked because two is obviously better than one.
So: if your kid loves a toy to the point where you can't even fix it anymore, there is a way.
I don't plan to have kids of my own, but if any of my siblings/friends decides to do so, I'm going to use my crochet skills and make said animals from scratch. :D
How the hell did you think medical students learned medical suturing?
calisai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:30 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had my dog chew up my favorite stuffed cat when I was real young. I about killed that dog. My parents had to literally drag me off him, he was pretty scared and never touched one of my stuffed animals ever again.
However, the first thing I did when my son latched onto a favorite stuffed animal? Scour online and buy 3 more and hide them in the top of the closet. Only had to use 1 of them, funny enough for a very similar reason. Pets can be jealous and/or destructive to those beloved toys.
My baby doll was fixed and fixed until her cloth body fell apart, and then she began being fixed with duct tape. Her eyes didn't close so well anymore, and she has a big crack in her plastic cheek where I tried to feel her a Twizzler once. Everyone said she looks creepy and my mom was surprised I still slept with her on occasion when I was having a really bad day.
I gave my son a little stuffed dino for valentines. Ended up with a big rip in him, it wasn't a pretty fix but it has successfully held up for months against a 9 yr old.
When I was in college, mom decided to repair a couple holes and wash my old stuffed bunny, and then mail him to me. When I picked up my box between classes, I wasn't expecting anything at all (figuring I'd get him back on the next break).
I am...really glad I was able to keep from opening that box til I got back to my place. A reputation of trying not to cry over a stuffed bunny (and getting one in the first place) is...something I could have done without.
My mom tried doing this for me with my favourite bear (Floppy). I loved Floppy because she was soooo soft. Felt like rabbit fur. Anyhoo, Floppy was white, so you can imagine how dirty she was getting just from being carried around all the time.
Mom put her through the wash. No problem.
Mom put her in the dryer.
Floppy felt like velcro.
I still get sad when I think about it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:21:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I remember when I left my teddy I always slept with at like 5/6 at my nan's house, so my mum drove all the way back and forth to bring me my teddy so I could sleep. I always thought that was awesome!
Mum's can be the most awesome people on the planet.
I have a stuffed bunny I got for easter when I was 2 or something. I named him floppy ears. That's still his name and he belongs to my son now.
J0L0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother recently passed and while going through her things I found a stuffed toy that I thought was gone. It was my favourite until I grew out of it. It was a nice find.
My SO has a small toy with a rattle in it that has been repaired so many times by his grandparents.
Recently it got a little beyond simple repairs so they went to the effort of finding some new fabric for it and sending it to a professional to get it fixed. It was a total surprise and he was over the moon to have it fixed. My SO is 23 and has had the toy since he was a baby.
My son's lion is named Roary. Hes not his favorite- that spot belongs to a tiger named Hobbes whos seen better days in the last 4 yrs. But Roary does make it on the bed most nights. Your story made me smile.
LOL I'm 28 and during our move last year, found my favorite snuggle animal ever, Mr. Furry!
Now, loving Mr. Furry required a bit of imagination: he had no eyes, nose, mouth.. Or even really a face at all. He had no legs. He pretty much was one big tail....
That's because Mr. Furry was one of the remnants the furrier gave back to my mom when she had her full-length mink coat shortened back in the 80's (when fur wasn't as abhorrent as it is today). Apparently, little baby me just grabbed up the ~ 1.5'x7" piece and wore him like a boa, snuggling my face into it. Come to think of it, I'm almost positive that while it had an anthropomorphic name, I really just treated Mr. Furry as a scarf/something cuddly to sleep with.
My SO's half brother had a favorite bear toy, aptly named "Mr. Dog," lol, that his mom, having raised 2 previous boys, knew to buy multiple of once it became "THE" toy. Unfortunately for her, little baby Z could reach out with his free hand (other one with thumb firmly in mouth), grope the toy's beans/stuffing in its butt and declare "That's NOT the RIGHT Mr. Dog!!" LOL!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One time one of my toys ripped and the stuffing was coming out, and my brother sewed it for me.
I still have my very worn stuffed dog...I named it "Bear". I bit off his nose at one point, and my mom sewed in a new nose with pink thread. I actually don't think I knew it was a dog until I was in high school. Doesn't really look like one.
Ouch. Just reading this makes me sad. I still keep my childhood toys, good thing in growing up poor is that there are not too many of them and no one would throw them away. I had my toy cars sold at some point, but that was not so bad cause they didn't have "personality" the way stuffed animal do.
Mom got me a giant stuffed caterpillar for my 5th birthday before she passed. Shitty grandmother that raised me threw out that caterpillar on my 10th birthday and told me I was too old for toys. Still makes me angry to this day.
oh my god, i think i'd have a mini mental breakdown if my mom did that to my beloved floppy rabbit. i've had him for as long as i can remember and only recently found him again- he's now sitting on a shelf, in front of my old favorite vcr tapes.
joshi38 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:37:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, but he's not dead. To cope with my loss (I was a melodramatic child), I invented a narrative in my mind that he wasn't gone for good, he'd just gone travelling around the world, but one day he'd come back and tell me all about his adventures.
I actually did see Fred a few years after he'd left. I was at a fair and he was a prize in a raffle (same design in toy duck, they must have made a bunch though blow me if I can't find hide nor feather of him now). I entered the raffle, my naivete making me believe that I was destined to win him. I didn't win.
Got to say goodbye though. I hope he made some other kid as happy as he made me.
Aww that breaks my heart. My daughters favorite is a stuffed unicorn and I'm so attached to seeing her with it the I know it's going to break my heart when she doesn't sleep with it anymore. I'll keep that unicorn forever when she decides she's too big for it.
Whoa I had a stuffed toy duck I named Freddie! Guess it's a duckish name.
joshi38 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was just a name I liked, I named about 3 stuffed animals Fred and they ranged from ducks to dogs (it was literally two ducks and a dog so...).
Funnily enough, Fred (one of the ducks, not the one that was thrown out) had a best friend who was a monkey. His name was George. Now, this could have been because of Curious George (though that wasn't nearly as popular in the UK and I don't think I was aware of that character when I named him), but either way, it's nice to know I came up with Fred and George long before Harry Potter was a thing.
JibJig ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:33:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had this janky, patched-together teddy bear named Gilbert that my grandmother made herself, and I just found it going through my closet the other day. Shit I made my mom go through hell and back to keep Gilbert safe and clean.
RIP Fred. We couldn't take you with us, but you were never left behind.
Zamasee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:38:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man. I feel for you. That was a cold move your mom pulled.
I mean, my sister still has her stuffed monkey, that thing's been patched up so often in the last 25 years that it has lost some of its features yet it's still going strong.
Aww, and here I am re-sewing my dogs stuffed animal because he absolutely loves the thing and I don't want him to be without it. Getting a new one is just not an option for him.
M0n5tr0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's terrible. My mom kept most of our stuffed animals and gives them to our kids to play with. My son came home with my rhinokey last week and I was thrilled to see my old friend.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it was a stuffed duck (before you look to my username, no I'm not him)
Damn, too late, well played. First time on Reddit someone made me look.
My son got one of those from his grandmother when he was a toddler. The thing scared the hell out of him, so we had to take batteries out until he was older.
That's cold. My 18 year old son still has his first stuffed animal. A stuffed dog with no spots that he named Spot. That thing has had "surgery" so many times, it's ridiculous, but he still has him! No way would I throw him out, he loves him!
I've still got the teddy bear my grandma bought for me in the hospital gift shop where I was born. It's still in perfect shape and one of my favorite things.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My eyes went to your username as soon as I saw the word "duck."
My parents did something similar to me. Had this Spider-Man action figure that kept falling apart. By the time it was thrown out it was held together almost all by duct tape. They're great parents but I wish they'd had the forethought to think "he might want it when he's older and understands sentimental value." I wouldn't care if it was in a small shoe box as scraps, I want my figure.
My mom accidentally gave away my puffalump. I'd hid it away or something and she assumed I didn't play with it anymore. I ended up picking my teddy bear as my new favorite. Still have Teddy and sleep with him nightly. Just turned 26.
I had a white baby blanket growing up that i kept for years. It had gotten stained and torn and ratty. One day i had taken it with me to a restaurant while we ate. We got in the car and were most of the way home when i realized i had left it. I was so upset that my parents turned around and we looked for it. We didn't find it. I was devastated. A few days later, low and behold my mom had gone back and found it! I was so happy that day.
I later found out the truth. She had found a new blanket and stained it, torn it, and ran it through the wash abiut 20 times. I am 25 years old now. I still have that blanket, and it means more to me now than the original ever did.
Oh no! That's so sad! I'm 32 and I recently found Franklin, my old yellow blankie, at my mom's. She has been keeping it safe for me since I stopped sleeping with it when I was about 10.
My mother wanted to throw away my brother's dreamcast. I said I was cool with it but make sure to ask my brother first.
So she throws it out and blames it on me for saying it was okay.
lurcher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Mom did this with my favorite stuffed animal when I was 6, I was not cool with it. Still harbor some resentment, especially since my Gramma gave it to me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know your pain, only my mother gave my dollhouse because I took real good care of it. I had that thing for four years and was meticulous about keeping it clean and putting everything in its' place after I was done because i had lost a couple of pieces early on. My mom just thought I never played with it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a similar situation. Got this bear at the State Fair, it was pretty shittily made. Basically tore every other week. My grandma would always repair it and send it back to us good as new. Eventually my mom got tired of this I guess and threw it away. I asked where it was and she said it 'disappeared'. Found it later that day in the trashcan and couldn't stop crying :(
That sucks man. How old were you when he got tossed? I wonder if it's better to be honest with the kid or tell a comforting lie.
I got a stuffed pink panther when I was two and we were absolutely inseparable for many years. His name is Pinker. At this very moment, my two year old son is taking a nap, curled up next to Pinker.
I know they're just "things" but there's more to them than that. The idea that this stuffed panther has survived thirty years of who knows how many hurried moves, wild dogs, misguided adolescent purges of "childish things" to now be here, comforting my son in the lonely darkness, the same way he used to comfort me.. Just blows my mind. There's so much history and emotion tied up in this little toy, it's hard not to think of him as a part of my family.
Same thing, man. My mother was the best in the world. But she let my older sister cut up my blanket without telling me. I'm able to make my sister feel guilty about it though, now that she's a mother. Neither one of us can figure out why my mother let her do that.
My mom and I recently found my old stuffed clown Jojo while cleaning out the storage room. I have no idea what liked so much about him as a kid, because he was TERRIFYING. We threw him away.
My mom gave away my Legos and I'll never forgive her.
MILeft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My husband is 75 and still misses the toy elephants that he had in early childhood. I've offered to replace them or make something like them for him over the years, but it just seems to be a moment of sadness that surfaces once in awhile. He is also still mad at his parents for not telling him the truth about Santa Claus. I think there's a connection between the two events - maybe the fact that adults could no longer be trusted.
I love that you aren't bitter about it and you defend your mom!
C_ore_X ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had this...thing made out of wool kinda shaped like a dick shaft I used to sleep with and carry around until I was like 6, and during this time my grandma decided to clean at my dads apartment (parents separated when I was 1) and threw the bloody thing in the trash. Of course I wailed like I broke an arm and my dad went and dug it out of the trash, washed it and gave it to me. Love ya dad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aw buddy :( Maybe you-know-who can hook you up with a new Fred. I'd get it dry cleaned before you cuddle it though.
My dad tells this story still, 50-some years later: when he was a little kid, probably 3 or 4, he had a teddy bear that he loved. His older sister had gotten tired of her favorite stuffed animal around that age and so his mom just decided that he was too old to carry around the toy anymore. As a little boy, like so many little boys, he thought the garbage truck was super cool. His mom's solution was to have him hand-deliver the teddy bear to the garbage man one morning, which apparently really traumatized him and became his earliest memory.
Gadetron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a orange bear that I my mom got out of a claw machine when I was 2.I took that thing everywhere until I was 9. And every time a hole appeared, she'd fix it.she also would talk through it. I didn't find out until I brought him to show and tell, and he never spoke.I was so embarrassed.I got mad and cried and yelled at my mom for being the voice behind the bear.
I babysat a girl whose favorite stuffed animal was a cheapo from Walgreens. Once they noticed her attachment the mom bought like 15. She had them on a rotation of three at a time and replaced them when they got too worn. I always thought that was amazing but also like lots of overkill tbh.
I bought a pair of thunder sticks as a kid during one of my brother's soccer games. I brought them home afterwards and the next day I went looking for them.
They were torn to shreds on the lawn; "the dog must've gotten them from your room," she said. Except the dog was a seven pound eight ounce chihuahua.
godbois ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:12:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to me when I was a kid. I had one of those vacuum cleaner corn popper toys when I was 3. It was my favorite toy. My mom told me about a year ago that she threw it out. She was laughing and said I looked everywhere for it.
I don't remember the toy. And as a parent I can sympathize with her. But I felt so bad so toddler me. All I can think about is my son wandering our house, sad, looking for his favorite toy but never able to find it. I resent her a little for it now.
tipsana ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:53:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Before we were parents, a friend's 2-year-old son handed his toy train to my husband and asked him to fix it. Before the kid's parents could stop him, my husband said, "Here's your problem -- the batteries are in backwards!"
That godawful train played disney tunes in a train's whistle/scream for an hour before we left.
Ours is "Oh, guess the batteries died!" Which works for now with our 4 year old. Or, if he is particularly insistent, we just hide it or throw it out and find him something else equally fun and less annoying.
This also works with music in the car. He likes music a lot, but he wants to hear his "new song" over and over on repeat, which can last for hours. (Side story: I was driving him and my dad for what should have been a 5 hour trip. A massive highway shutdown caused us to be on the road for 10 hours. We listened to Adele's "Send my love" song on repeat for most of that). I don't mind it so much, but my husband can't stand it. So the excuse is either that the radio doesn't work or that I don't have battery on my phone.
Funny story. I got a Furby for my 12th birthday, and my mom hated that thing. Like any kid, I lost interest in it and she happily tucked it away in the attic, making sure to take out the batteries.
Fast forward 10 years. We moved into a new house (three stories). My mother was in the kitchen (first floor) and she hears this weird jingle from the floor above. She goes upstairs, and despite looking everywhere, she cannot find the source of the sound. She then hears it again, from the ceiling above her bedroom. She goes up into the attic, and lo and behold the Furby was singing, of all things. She still hates it, needless to say.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have yet to hear a story about a furry that isn't creepy has hell. Take the batteries out before you store it, and a decade later that soulless eyed ball of horror is in your attic singing in tongues? Nah. Naaaaaah.
My mom stole Doom from me when I was little (I used to play literally every day all day when I was about 6-7 yrs old) and told me that someone stole it.
Best thing I ever did as a dad was get my daughter some legit drums to pound on. I'm not stupid and I have noise cancelling headphones. My ex did not and still does not.
Christmas was glorious as I taught her how to use the sticks and my ex glared at me when the chaos began. She glared even more when I left that set there. Sorry, that's how 60/40 custody works. I gotta let my baby girl get as much practice as she can, and you have her more.
50/50 custody is back on the table.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I promise I didn't break the radio due to my aversion to your karaoke impressions."
...and then reappearing on my 5 years younger but almost just as tall cousin. Weird right?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We also never got a dog when I was growing up because mom had "allergies". Alleges that apparently went away when my kid sister got a chocolate lab puppy for her 10th birthday while I was away at college.
lazyFer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
shf500 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel sorry for kids whose parents destroy/get rid of their toys just because the toys are "loud"
One roll of white and one roll of black duct tape should be on every baby shower registry. The minute you are handed any noise making toy, neuter that bitch by covering the speaker with one or several layers of matching tape. Enjoy that nap.
My parents solution was to keep putting dead batteries in this toy electric guitar I had. Then if I was good they would "go to the store" to get new ones.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure my mom threw out the jacket I always wore to the arcade (my "lucky jacket") because the pockets were stretched out due to the constant strain of quarters. I used to wipe my nose on the sleeve until it was crusty. Apparently moms aren't on board with the snot-sleeved, stretched pocket look. It "disappeared" one day, and when I asked about it she replied, "You must've left it at one of your friends' houses." A decade later, I found a similar jacket--same style and color--in a J. Crew catalog and in no time stretched the pockets and waited for my first runny nose.
I spent three damn weeks searching for Barney the dog. I even enlisted my friends to help me. Every time I heard a far off dog barking I ran to see if it was Barney.
Found out as an adult my parents were tired of it digging holes under the fence and escaping and they gave it to the pound.
LFT - least favorite toy.
Steps to counteract LFT: make it disappear when a new toy shows up.
Use clear tape over the speaker to reduce volume.
Remove or don't replace batteries.
Get back at the person who gave the toy - put it on the top shelf and say "you can only play with this when that person comes over or we go to their house." Watch the LFTs stop coming in.
"What's that? Your really obnoxious jumping ball that plays a 15-second song on repeat forever even when you're not playing with it isn't working? Awww it must be broken. Sorry, baby."
My kids are 5 and 2 so they haven't figured it out yet, but I know my 5-year-old is getting too old for it. At the same time, it's kind of true. They pretty much don't take care of any of their shit.
I dunno if this is weird but I don't actually mind the loud toys. The only toy I do mind is the airplane that sings, because it doesn't have a quieter setting, but I only mind at night when I'm trying to sleep.
I told that to my sister. She had this toy saxophone that I still hear in my nightmares so I took it and hid it. Luckily my mother backed me up.
Jade_GL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly, my mom somehow "accidentally" recorded over my VHS copy of The Wizard of Oz. I mean, I did watch it every day after school when I was 5, and she does hate the movie with a passion, but she claimed it was an accident. :D
M0n5tr0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In hyperbole and a half the chapter about the talking toy parrot had my rolling. It has happened to everyone who has ever had an obnoxious talking toy.
Ha my mom fessed up to throwing away my Snoopy Snow-Cone maker, after lying that it disappeared. It turns out that shaving ice-cubes into a snow-scone with a shitty plastic crank is not as much fun as it looks. Kid me realized that quickly so I'd spend about a minute doing it then recruit my parents.
Ryuk- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a Playmobile police car with a working siren. You can probably imagine how long it was working.
My parents bought my brother and I Hungry, Hungry Hippos (https://youtu.be/qnR8GdJcCL8?t=33) when we were younger for Christmas. They threw it out and didn't tell us, but the following year, we asked for it again and they bought it having forgotten what the game was. That was also promptly thrown out.
My brother and I were given toy machine guns by a relative. They would make a machine gun sound when you pulled the trigger.
That lasted about two weeks until Mom got a hold of them.
doom32x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was my Mom covering for my Dad. I had received a fireman's helmet that had a loud as hell flashing red light on the front. It worked for maybe two weeks and then all of a sudden the light was the only thing working and both parents were flummoxed. Found out years later from my dad that he had disconnected the speaker.
The gift was revenge from my Father's brother for some play-doh that was gifted to my older cousin that he promptly ground into some white shag carpeting,
Deruji ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every kids party we get invited to I buy the noisiest toy possible as a gift. If they don't get the hint I swear ima buy air horns.
.... You mean to tell me my mom didn't accidentally leave it behind when she told me she was packing it in the car for our 9 hour road trip? All this time I trusted her. Never again.
My boyfriend has a 6 year old niece. Apparently at one time she got a pair of tap dancing shoes (not sure where they came from) and she loved them and wore them nonstop for about 6 months. She told me one day one of the shoes just randomly disappeared and she couldn't find it. Of course when she asked nobody knew where they went (most likely in a bonfire)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have a toy puppy that barked, walked and flipped backwards. I loved that thing. Years later my mom said she threw it away cause I wouldn't stop playing with it. :,(
And then more years later she denied having ever said that. DON'T LIE TO ME!!!
Senuf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That CAT brand steering wheel toy grandma gave you that vibrates, lights up and makes a horrible noise? Oh, honey, the batteries died, and they don't make them anymore! I'm sorry....
I had a remote control AT-AT walker as a kid. It had a cord, and it was ridiculously obnoxious sounding when it walked. I played with that thing non-fucking-stop.
One day, i came home and my mom had "accidentally" sucked up the cord in the vacuum cleaner. She said "I'm sorry sweety, but you really shouldn't leave your toys out. I didn't see it until it was too late." (I had left a battle scene, with lincoln logs and jenga pieces as buildings and the AT-AT would walk through them/knock them over.) The AT-AT was still in tact, just the cord to the control shredded. She said "well at least you can still play with it." -.-
Someone gave my bf's kid a kazoo and a harmonica. He's 4, plays one fucking note really loud for what feels like an hour, because apparently he's secretly deaf. I want to know who hates us so much that they thought it was a good idea. Both are in the trash.
zerbey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Buying loud toys for the children of new parents is a rite of passage. The most evil kind are the ones that play short snippets of a tune. Over and over.
Same, except it was a scooter. I did hurt myself pretty bad on it once, foot slipped off the brake on a small hill and my big toe dragged on the ground the entire way. Ended up tearing the skin off below the nail and a good chunk of the pink part of my nail. It didn't tear completely off but was just hanging there.
Shortly after that it was put in my grandmother's car and "disappeared" one day when I wanted to go ride it. The excuse was "I must have left the doors unlocked and someone stole it". Even as 25 year old adult she still won't admit that she got rid of it.
As the eldest of 3 kids, if my sisters' loud flashing toys got too annoying, I'd find a screwdriver, pop the toy open, disconnect the wire to the speaker, and close it back up. Awww, it doesn't make a sound anymore :( well it still flashes, at least. Must be getting worn out.
My parents had an unspoken rule that for every toy we received we had to donate one. I wasn't aware of that last part until most of my toys were gone & my mom told me she would sneak & get rid of the most broken toys or the ones we don't play with anymore
I sidestepped with the toy into my room before wrapping it for Christmas and took the sound chip out. Grandma was a little disappointed that her gift was 'broken', but my daughter enjoyed the silent toy.
My son is grown and is the oldest of all his cousins so we don't have to worry about consequences. So my husband takes great pride in picking out the loudest and most obnoxious toys he can find as Christmas gifts to torment our siblings (the parents).
I won a dart board at a carnival when I was younger maybe 7 or 8 . Played with it once, then it disappeared. My mom told me the Easter bunny took it.
She said that "he" didn't want me to have it
I didn't even believe in the Easter Bunny
Mkkoll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All of those kinds of toys have always bothered me from a waste standpoint. Toys for the past 2-3 decades have been wasteful. Big chunks of plastic with speakers and lights and batteries and logic boards etc. Theres alot going into making one of those toys! And more often than not kids will play with them until they are destroyed or the batteries die and they go in the attic to live out the rest of their days.
As a dad, the first rule to Xmas gifts was...if it requires batteries...it's a no go for buying. Of course, this was before Iphones, Ipads, and other devices.
It's Ok. Grandma / Grandpa / Uncle / Aunt / Friend / Sister / Brother / Cousine und so weiter und so fort... will buy something else that makes a lot of irritating sounds :D
Yes, I'm THAT guy.
[deleted] ยท 1496 points ยท Posted at 14:20:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Change out of that wet bathing suit or you'll get diarrhea.
Only years later did I learn that this was a trick so we didn't sit on the couch in a wet bathing suit.
Matrix_V ยท 1039 points ยท Posted at 16:24:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why didn't they just say "don't sit on the couch with a wet bathing suit" instead of lying?
Because kids want to sit on a couch in a wet bathing suit more than they want to get diarrhea.
[deleted] ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 17:46:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
While what you said is true, "kids want to not get diarrhea more than they want to not sit on the couch in a wet bathing suit" fits the situation better.
I don't think the kids care about sitting on the couch, so that part doesn't matter. They just don't feel like changing, and this is a good way to get them to change.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:40:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well they think they'll be going back into the water later... but later never comes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was really hoping no one would catch that, but I should have known better.
When I was 11 I heard the word "crotch-rot" applied to wearing wet clothings/trunks too long. I have no idea what there is to it, but I sure as shit didn't make an effort to find out.
Being young and not having kids is irrelevant, since experience is not the only way to learn about parenting. I can tell you for a fact that using scare tactics to make your children behave instead of teaching them right and wrong is going to result in horrible people once they get clever enough to see through your "harmless white lies" and now nothing is preventing them from doing wrong things, since you didn't even try giving them a moral compass.
if i remember correctly its cause after a day at the pool there was nothing more alluring than immediately flopping on the couch to play nintendo or watch afternoon cartoons. aint nobody got time for changing clothes.
Sawses ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:55:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly never got why people lie to their kids. My parents literally just had to go, "We don't want you doing this thing. This is why." And, if it made sense, I'd be like, "K." Or...If it didn't, I'd want to do it anyway but at least I knew why it was a bad idea. Usually I agreed, TBH... No cocaine? Fine by me.
Well, not saying this is why, but staying in a wet bathing suit too long (at least as a girl I know) puts you at a higher risk of a UTI and I'm pretty sure just saying diarrhea would be easier to explain to a kid than that
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 17:29:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not if you're lactose intolerant. I get to decide when diarrhea comes!
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 17:02:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
yakisaki ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:35:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
thats what my mom and aunts told us. Except for "yeast infection" they would said "Crotch rot" so you can imagine how quickly we changed. My family is brutal
Jokes on her, I would take off my bathing suit, wait until she's bathing my little brother, then run around the front yard buck ass naked. We lived on a very very busy street. I'm glad I grew out of that when I turned about 5 or so
I actually got a rash from it, I was at summer camp and the counselors told us "just leave that on under your clothes" 4 hours later every inch of my butt itched and my dad told me to take my bathing suit iff in the car. Ended up with prescription creme for a few weeks and was terrified of not getting my bathing suit off as SOON as I was out of the water for like a year.
Thank you! Yeah it took about a year but I was able to calm down about my bathing suit on and even though this was... Dear lord like 15 years ago (when did that happen) I still try to take my suit off asap and always end up checking for a rash
As a girl it was, change out of your wet bathing suit or you'll get an infection. Your comment is making me wonder if it was a lie but I don't want to find out. . .
Are you talking about bathing shorts with a lining/net inside? Yea, sit outside for one or two hours with those wet when it's a cloudy/cool summer day and I'll promise you you'd wish you had diarrhea as you'll shit your intestines out every 10 minutes for three days straight.
My mom just said "change out of that wet bathing suit or you'll get a yeast infection." And if we tried to fight it, we got to hear about how SHE got a really bad yeast infection once because she sat around in a wet bathing suit all day.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
haha I never got that line. My mom was fond of saying "don't go outside with wet hair, you'll catch pneumonia."
No, but if you walk too much in a damp bathing suit, you can get rashes from the friction on your thighs. I discovered this a couple of weeks ago. I'm 29.
[deleted] ยท 4426 points ยท Posted at 14:00:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Come on, wake up, it's half eight!"
Actually 8:07.
"When you're older."
Usually in response to some ridiculous hair style request.
"You're old enough to not have to ask now."
does the thing
"Why didn't you ask?"
[deleted] ยท 1592 points ยท Posted at 14:20:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My parents like to say "cmon it's after eight!" When it's 8:03
YDG21 ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 17:23:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents like to say "it's going on 9 o'clock" when it's 8:14
Cypork ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:51:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum is like "wake up it's 7:00!"
Actually 5:30 am.
This happens every morning.
Poo-et ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:07:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum is like "I CALLED YOU OVER HALF AN HOUR AGO" as the time approaches 10 mins...
Nikcara ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 17:09:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a teenager I used to sleep past noon on the weekends or whenever I did t have to get up. Every time I came downstairs I'd be greeted with "good afternoon!" No matter if it was afternoon or not.
They still do this. It's been years since I've slept until noon, even when sick. I've been greeted with "well good afternoon to you!" when coming downstairs with my toddler at 6 in the goddamn morning.
I used to stay with my parents for the summer, and if I ever got up after 7am I'd hear all kinds of passive aggressive comments, even though I usually got home from work at midnight. Still infuriates me.
Nikcara ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:18:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. I worked 3rd shift a while back and most of my family would give me shit if I was still in bed after 10am. I didn't live with them but they would call and leave passive-aggressive voice mails because I turned the ringer off when I slept.
I typically got home around 7:00am, but clearly the reason I wasn't ready to start my day by the "perfectly reasonable" time of 10am was because I was lazy.
My family aggravates me a lot. Though by now the "good afternoon" thing is more something I roll my eyes at and laugh about.
I got that same shit too. I worked nights and my family would act like it's perfectly reasonable for me to completely change my sleep schedule for two days while I visit. I always made an effort to wake up earlier than I usually would, but there's no way I'm sleeping only a couple hours a night while I visit my parents.
Joetato ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:01:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother would say "It's almost 9pm!" at 8:01. I remember it annoyed the hell out of me as a kid and I'd try to get her to stop saying it, but she never did. As soon as it was a minute past the hour, it was "almost" the next hour.
I'm seeing a lot of things I do to my boyfriend on here. I used to try waking him up when he was supposed to wake up.... But then he just goes back to sleep for another half hour to two hours. So now I tell him "after 8" if it's 8:01 so he's more likely to snap out of sleep on time. Even if he does get up when he needs to, he wastes time "taking a shit" (playing on his phone) for 20 minutes and then showers because god forbid he just use toilet paper to wipe his ass like a normal person (another half hour) and then complains that I didn't give him enough time to get ready.
And then complains that I act like his mom. As if I want to act like his mom instead of partner when I'm already acting as a mom to our son.
[deleted] ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 18:19:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
So warn him that you're not going to prod/wake him up anymore and then don't wake him up anymore.
Either he'll learn to manage his morning on his own or he'll stop complaining about you helping him in the morning. Both are preferable to the current situation.
Working on it. I'm in a bit of a hole but so is my friend. We're both in relationships with cheating, controlling, verbally abusive, assholes and we're working on a plan to get out together.
Amp3r ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:39:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can do it. You don't owe this guy anything, just get out any way you can.
Tell him no sex until he starts being on time. My mom used to do that, then my arms healed.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:31:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Lausn ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:37:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It'll keep showing up so long as idiots keep upvoting it. We complain that reddit beats memes to the ground but the reality is people love unoriginal and familiar content, makes them feel like they are in on the joke.
Don't feel bad for acting that way if it's helping both you and him. If he takes too long being lazy and that impedes him or you, he needs to pick up his game and realize that he's being selfish. I'm not trying to say he's an awful guy in any sense, just that his laziness is affecting the way you communicate with him and possibly stressing you out. It's honestly not a big deal but if he's okay with you waking him up like that then really it's win win.
I don't feel bad, just annoyed that I have to act like a mother to a grown man because he was a spoiled piece of shit by his own mom, and then he complains when he thinks I'm acting too much like his mom. I wouldn't have to if he got his shit together and acted like an adult
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You need to do your best to not feel resentment or it will poison your relationship.
Both of you have your weaknesses. You shouldn't feel bad, but at some point you have to consider is it worth it to be mad over something he just does? Maybe you waking him up every morning is a compromise you have to make to have a happy relationship. If it bothers you so much you really need to consider that he might not ever change. Can you live with it? If you can, then you gotta learn to not be bothered by it.
If it was just the one thing I wouldn't be annoyed, especially if he wasn't a cunt about it. But it's not the only thing and he's controlling, demanding, spoiled, ungrateful, and abusive. Our relationship is ending. I can be resentful all I want.
Yup. What the fuck indeed. I wanted to surprise him and get him a bidet attachment thing that you hook up to the toilet. He found out and told me that was stupid and he wouldn't use it. Wut
I'm honestly surprised this isn't getting any attention and that you just mentioned it like something normal. I've never heard of this in my life and that is extremely disgusting. Did he never take a shit aside from in his house? Or did he like straight up shower un friends showers after taking a dump?
I've been with him several years so it's become normal to me. He has a number of weird eccentricities that I've learned to just accept, like he hates straws to the point that if I use one, it cannot point towards him in my cup. He avoids shitting anywhere but home, but if he absolutely has to at work or something he'll use toilet paper like a normal person. Apparently this isn't a new thing. His parents told me that they were on vacation when he was little and he refused to poop for 4-6 days despite having stomach problems.
then showers because god forbid he just use toilet paper
Pretty sure he isn't just showering for the sole purpose of cleaning his ass. Is it really that uncommon to shower every morning? I thought it was weird if you didn't....
He can shower, shit, then shower again. Trust me it really is for the sole purpose of washing his ass. He showers to actually bathe at night
gspot88 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:34:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you get shit on your hand are you just going to wipe it off with toilet paper and call it a day? Probably not. Why treat your asshole the same way. Just wiping like "normal" people. That's gross.
Sunjuan ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:12:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my dad rounds up to the next hour so he'd say it's nine. not even joking.
My mom just did this today! She woke me up with "PMMEURBELLYBUTON it's after noon, wake up!!" and i roll over, thinking it's 12:30 or 12:45.. It's 12:05
Roses88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My husband's car broke down one time so we had to stay at his parents house. His dad came banging on the door along if we were gonna sleep all day. It was 830a
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine were fond of "ITS NOON WHAT THE HELL", wake up and its 730, fuckin cunts.
My mom has done this a few times with me but she constantly forgets that my clock runs 5 or so minutes fast so one morning when she said that and I looked and it said 8:01 I told her "No its not try again in 5 minutes" She was not amused, still got another 5 minutes of laying in bed so it was worth.
I live 7 minutes away from school. At 7:07 she yelling how we're going to be late to school and she repeats every minute. I can leave 7:30 fine. She seems to think I don't have a time telling device in my room. I sleep with a watch on just for this purpose
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:51:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Like people that set their clock ahead so that they rush thinking their late. Nope, you go "Oh, I'm not really late, I still have 15 minutes because I have my clock set wrong."
My car for some reason consistently sets itself 6 minutes off. I can change the time back to the correct time, and within a month it has drifted and it is 6 minutes or so off. Never more. It just gets there and stops drifting. I don't know why, but I've learned to live with it, and just calculate the time whenever I look at it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mam does this and you'd be surprised how quickly you forget it's been set wrong.
I did this for a while, the trick was to have multiple clocks, set all of them forward by varying amounts, and don't actually count how far you set any of them (like just close your eyes and hit the minute button a bunch of times, then don't look at the clock again for a while) I knew they were all set forward, but I'd make sure not to check my phone or computer or ever try and calculate how far forward any of them were, it worked decently well for all those times I would have been late if I had left a few minutes later, but not so much when you are 20+ minutes late.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:07:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha although honestly any rabbits I had were all certified loons who enjoyed chasing cats. If they had actually gotten to the fields, they'd have been grand.
I'm visiting my parents from 10 hours away. My mom woke me up this morning for my wisdom tooth surgery and said we needed to leave in15 minutes. It took me 20 to shower and everything. She dropped me off in time and then left to do something. I waited for 40 minutes for her to come back and pay for my surgery and now my appointment has been rescheduled for next month, after school starts back up again. Can't do it at home because insurance doesn't cover anywhere within 2 hours. Just gotta miss 2 weeks of school or wait til the semester is over.
I grew up with a disability that made it difficult to understand things like hyperbole. After a while I just assumed that every word out of Mom's mouth was a blatant and intentional lie. I knew that it couldn't be the truth because of all of the factual inaccuracies.
Did anyone elses parents have an absurd ability to know what time it was? My dad could guess the time +/- 2 minutes without checking his watch when i was a kid and i still cant figure out how he did it
I can answer this as a dad of a 2 year old. It's because you little shits take absolutely FOREVER to get out of the damn door seriously it's like:
"Oh lunch is at noon and its 30 minutes away, that means I need to start corralling the tiny terrorist at 11:00 so that we can maybe be walking out the door at 11:15, but we'll have to wait because he has to give the dogs treats which takes another 5 minutes, then it takes him 5 minutes to walk to the car because God forbid you pick him up to carry him, that's just not acceptable, another 3 minutes to get him strapped in and then get yourself in and you have eaten away your 15 minute buffer"
And because all this happens the kids eventually adapt and realize they are being told to get ready earlier than absolutely necessary so they begin delaying and taking longer, so the parents have to extend the initial buffer as you get older.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I could understand it if I was a tiny terrorist (well I'm still pretty short) but I'm an adult, well capable of getting myself up and out in the mornings. Since I've been getting up for work, it's been a lot easier because I get up before she does.
But you were a tiny terrorist as one point and it's evolved to where now she just has an innate fear that you will be late or you will make her late. It's a conditioned response really.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll have to ask her :D You could be onto something.
My dad would always wake me up on weekends around nine and say that it was after noon (when I usually wake up). Once I stopped believing him he mostly stopped doing it, but last week I had a dentist appointment at 2:45 and he told me I had to get up because it was 2 and I assumed he was lying so I slept for another half an hour before he came in and said we had to go because the appointment was in fifteen minutes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad is awful at this, when I would sleep in on weekends he would yell at me when I'm in bed and tell me it's almost noon, but when I would look at the clock it would be like 9:45.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:58:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why do children have to be so damned literal?
Me: Come on, kiddo, it's 8:15.
5 year old: No mommy, it's 8:17.
Me, inwardly: ARRGH
Time just changes after you have children! You have to add an extra 10-20 minutes to everything just to account for the things that come up when you're trying to get somewhere.
My mom does this and I hated it growing up, to me it seemed as though she never had an accurate grasp on what time it was. Now that I'm a mom I do the same thing and I realize how annoying it is but at the same time I know my kids are going to add an extra 10 minutes in just peeing and grabbing toys so that's where the shitty math happens.
I sincerely feel I loss track of time easier now as a mom. I'm constantly doing something so in all honesty I feel like I'm running around like a chicken with its head cut off. So yes... 30 min might feel like 5 min. It doesn't on purpose.
Someone in my family both exaggerates times and is late all the time. He'll text and say "we'll be there by 6:00" and then 6:00 rolls around and he'll text "almost there, traffic" meanwhile his wife just texted saying "should we bring drinks, we've not left yet".
My mother is now ill and to get her to go to bed at a decent hour, I have reversed it in her. Also have sped up the clocks by a reasonable 2-5 minutes too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do that when I was baby sitting. That must be hard to do for your mother.
Time is literally different for them. Using years because it's easier, but For a ten year old a year is 1/10 of his life so his perception of a year would be a lot longer than someone whose year is 1/35 of their life. so if you carry this down then it also applies to minutes. 20 minutes to an adult feels like five minutes would to a kid. relatively.
definitely this. when i was a kid and my mom said i had to wait 10 minutes for something, it felt like an hour. now i'm rushing around trying to get everyone ready, look at the clock - 11:30, i have 6 minutes to get out the door - pour juice into sippy cups and get shoes on, look back at the clock - IT'S 11:48, HOW THE FUCK IS IT 11:48 ALL I DID WAS POUR JUICE AND PUT SHOES ON
to make matters worse my husband doesn't understand this phenomenon so we'll have 10 minutes to get out the door, i'm trying to usher everyone to the car already because i know how long this shit takes... and he's like "okay just let me take a shower and eat breakfast." THAT IS LIKE AN HOUR'S WORTH OF WORK ARE YOU KIDDING ME
By this process my dad ended up making me late for school when he was trying to make me on time. He would shout a time and I would just assume it was earlier and stay in bed.
All of the men in my family are habitually late. The wives of the men have just started adding about a half hour to every time that the men claim they will be there.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because kids are late doing everything. It's an attempt to build a buffer into any deadline.
DarkFox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Pretty sure my mother's over punctual nature directly caused me to hate waiting around for stuff hence I leave to go places as late as possible and as a result am usually late ><
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:05:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend Ciara is exactly like this!
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:50:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm capable of getting up and out of bed myself. Mam just liked to tell me the time.
Kelzer66 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because otherwise you turn into the person that everyone waits on for 17 minutes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Idk I tend to be very picky about being early. However a dear friends mother was alway early to everything, as a reaction almost, she is late to everything. Late to the point I will invite her to something, tell her it's x time and then I go to where we are meeting about an hour later.
My wife and in laws are always late. Always. I do the 45 min rule for my wife. With her family I've just stopped caring and start without them. You won't respect my time? I won't respect yours.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Correct. And thus, halfway through the eighth hour is 7:30. Half of the eighth hour, however, is the hour between 3am and 4am, which is how you initially phrased it. It's merely semantics.
Half of any single hour is 30 minutes, true. And you're correct, half of the length of the hour that happens to fall eighth in the day (if one is to isolate it) is also 30 minutes. But half of the eighth hour in the context of the 12 (or 24) hour clock is the fourth hour. And as we were clearly discussing how one measures the time of day, with the eighth hour being an example, this applies. If we had been discussing that one particular hour out of context then you are correct, but we weren't.
sir_mrej ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But half of the eighth hour in the context of the 12 (or 24) hour clock is the fourth hour.
Half of the eighth hour in context of the 12 hour clock is 7:30. That's what people say. No one ever says "oh I get up at half of 10am" to mean 5am. But they do say "half past eight" or "quarter to eight". The phrases always are math on the 60 minutes, not on the hours from midnight.
You're correct that no one says "I get up at half of 10am", but for a completely different reason: namely, they would be talking about 5am, and using a convoluted way of doing so.
And again, you're correct in saying people use "half past eight" and "quarter to eight", as well as "half eight", all of which make sense. However you're still wrong when you initially said "half of the eighth hour", which is neither a term of common parlance nor does it mean what you think it means. The phrases are only "maths on the sixty minutes" when using the qualification of "past" or "to", or when you say half the hour because the qualification is implied, not otherwise, I'm afraid.
But hey, at least you're decent enough to debate this with me and not result to childish insults like someone else here.
Everyone may have understood, myself included, yet we were discussing the technicalities as the discussion was about the cultural differences of denoting time keeping with regards to semantics.
No where did I state that I'm disregarding consensus, nor did I show any signs of autism (not that you could correctly diagnose it anyway). However your comments are a "red flag" for being an ignorant arsehole.
If we see every hour of the day as a separate entity of 60 minutes, not a sum of the earlier hours/minutes. Then the eigth hour would be the 60 minutes between 07:00 and 08:00. Half of the, separate, hour would be 07:30.
This is, in fact, the way time is told in my language (Swedish) and the fact that you are somehow trying to argue semantics of time-telling in a language you obviously don't speak with a native speaker of said language is at best an indicator of sloppy/poor reading skills or otherwise maybe a mental disability.
That initial paragraph is correct. However I was arguing with the other more civilised gentleman (or lady) that one should not disregard the other hours and treat it as a separate entity, and rather include it as a cumulative count, thus making half of the eighth hour, the fourth hour.
Again with the insults? I thought we moved past that, but I underestimated your lack of civility. Never did I argue that the way you keep track of time in Sweden is wrong. First of all, I was questioning the way it is done there, as it is clearly different to how it is done in the UK, and i am not familiar with it. Then, I was qualifying how it is denoted in English spoken in the UK, before defending my point and disregarding the irrelevant information that was put forwards. The fact that you seriously believe someone you know nothing about may be on the autistic spectrum because they don't agree with you and are willing to discuss things decently, shows that you must be severly insecure.
I speak German and they say "halb neun" which translates to half nine, meaning 30 minutes to nine but this looks like it means the opposite
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:22:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's similar in Dutch: "half negen" (literally "half nine") means 8.30.
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 16:20:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your two examples are logical. "Quarter past" means quarter of an hour past a time. "Twenty to" means twenty minutes until a time.
Half eight makes no sense. It could easily be half PAST eight, or half TO eight. The "half eight" phrase removes the indication that both "quarter past" and "twenty to" leave intact. (Also, it makes me think "half of eight = four" so i think 4:00, but i guess most people don't try to math it.)
It's short for half past eight. While you are technically correct that it excludes the qualification of whether it is before or after the hour, if everyone knows what it refers to (as they do in the UK), then it's not a problem and it's faster to say/type.
Furthermore if you were referring to half eight in the negative sense, wouldn't that be four o'clock?
Just how it works in the UK, other languages do this as well e.g. Hungarian but in that case 'half eight' means 7:30 which was really irritating as a bilingual child.
It could easily be half PAST eight, or half TO eight
Can you honestly say you've EVER in your life heard someone say half to eight or 30 minutes to 8 or any other variation of 30 minutes before some hour.
Kowzorz ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:48:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"huh.. wha.. checks clock, it's 6:30?? School starts at 8:00!"
"Don't question me you need to shower and eat breakfast"
"I don't like having breakfast, not hungry"
"You will be.."
"Oh okay, I guess you know my stomach way better than I do.."
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:09:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:08:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guilty of always making my family leave the house earlier than needed. I was raised by a person who was always late, and I'm shy - so walking into class after it started and having everyone look at me was mortifying. I can't stand being late.
Considering that's the period when people actually need the most sleep, mom would have been told off on that one, it's worth any consequences in my opinion.
My dad is the only in the family who can't stand to be late. Id be getting ready for school and he'd shout that the school bus just passed. Look at my phone and i still have 10 minutes till it even would arrive early (i live up a small hill from the bus stop. It didn't even take a minute to walk to it.)
My favorite was some mornings he'd wake me up early and say "what are you doing? the bus already came by. You gotta go run to the next stop before it passes." Mind you my alarm hasn't even gone off. I can laugh about this now, but god damn did it piss me off at the time. And ill probably do it to my kids too.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:00:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's almost 9, if you want a shower get up now!
Actual time 7:35. And my mother wonders why years later my response to anything time related involving her is "if I'm late I'm late oh well." I'm yet to be late to anything.
To this day I'm sensitive to the "half eight" thing.
I used to drive my parents crazy by announcing the real time ("It's not eight-thirty, mom, it's eight twenty seven!"). But in my defense, they were quite happy to totally misrepresent the time if it was convenient, and I simply got in the habit of always correcting them.
zodberg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom has a bad habit of assuming I know roughly the hour, so she would phrase 9:50 (or 9:30, or 9:45) as "Ten to" which causes stress for me when I hear 10:2.
That would drive me insane. I'm already frustrated by people going "quarter past three' when it's actually 3:22, and there are definitely times when I realize I'm off by a full hour or more. Thank god for phones and watches.
A variant of this that my mum did- woke me up 10 minutes before I had to get up, told me it was 7.40 (I had to get up at 7.30), so after 3ish days of this, when she told me it was 7.40 I assumed I had 10 more minutes in bed. However, she had actually woken me up at 7.45, so I was late that day.
"When you're older." Usually in response to some ridiculous hair style request.
Tangentially related, but "it's just a fad, you'll grow out of it" when I wanted Pokemon Red for my gameboy. Twenty-plus years later and it's one of the single largest multimedia franchise empires in the world...
Also related to above, "I'm not buying that for you, you'll have to save up your allowance". Double-whammy because (1) we didn't get an allowance, the only money to be made was 25-50 cents at a time for weekend chores, and (2) once I finally did save up enough, they refused to let me buy it anyways.
Not gonna lie, those left me pretty bitter.
Tooch10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My father was guilty of this. I had an alarm for 07:15. He'd come in at 07:05/07:10. See, he was already up for an hour so that 5-10 minutes didn't mean anything. But it sure as hell does when you're sleeping. It took a lot of complaining but I got him to stop waking me up early.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"When you're older." Usually in response to some ridiculous hair style request.
That hair style was ridiculous, you know it, and you should thank your mother for saving you the humiliation.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents still do this to me: "It's 4:30 in the morning, are you coming home?" It's 2am...
"When you're older." Usually in response to some ridiculous hair style request.
My mum used that line on me when I was young. I wanted to grow my hair out because there was a guy at church who had his hair grown out and it looked cool.
"No you can't have long hair." "But N has long hair!" "He also has a beard. When you're old enough to have a beard you can have long hair as well.
Yes I did end up growing my hair out. It looked shit and I ended up getting it cut. Never gonna grow my hair out again.
When you become a parent you enter the PTZ (Parental time zone). 8:07 your time means 8:30 PTZ because we have calculated in our head exactly how much time will occur between us telling you to wake up and you actually waking up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Anything 15 minutes past the hour is the next hour for my mom. Woke me up at 8:15? No its 9
My mom was clever. When I asked when I could buy a thing - that she didn't want me to buy - she gave me a specific age, so I had something to look forward to.
"Mom, when can I buy TMNT action figures?" (She HATED TMNT)
"When you're 12"
I never asked again, and when I turned 12, I didn't even want to buy one.
CRISPR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Usually in response to some ridiculous hair style request.
That time never comes. My mother is 80. "Mom, can I shave my head, it's hoooooooot! please-please-please...". "No!"
The worst thing for me is being told I'm old enough for this and that, but then as soon as I make any decision for myself, and willingly live with whatever consequences come, like a real adult, she tries to control me.
A good example is, if I'm out of bed after 2am, she turns the internet off because I should be in bed, and have a regular routine.
I'm 21 and one of the things I pay for in this house is the internet...
I'm a very nocturnal person. No matter how hard I try, I can't sleep at night (I mean, I'm laying in bed on Reddit on my phone at 4am, because I just spent the last three hours laying still and not sleeping, because I'm not fucking tired), and I always end up being asleep until at least 4pm, no matter what time I went to bed the night before. The only way for me to get a normal routine is to stay awake for longer than 24 hours, and drop at 10pm when I'm dead tired. Then I slowly readjust to a nocturnal pattern again, waking up/going to sleep one hour later every day.
I have no reason to be up earlier than 4pm on any given day, so going to bed at 6am should not be an issue. I also don't interact very much with my mother if I am up at the same time as her, so it's not like she just wants to spend more time with me or some bullshit.
My dad still exaggerates time. I'm fucking 23 years old. Every job I've had, they'll tell you I've only rarely been late, and somehow, he thinks I have no idea how long it takes me to get ready.
My mom would consistently set every clock in our house 10-12 minutes fast. When I lived at home, I adjusted to this over time. It has really screwed me now that I live on my own with clocks that actually show the time because I usually end up being 10 minutes late to everything.
"Come on, wake up, it's half eight!"
Actually 8:07
My stepdad did this to me constantly when I was a kid. Cue me scrambling to be ready on time and skipping a shower because we had to leave at 8:45 in order for everyone to get to school/work on time
Then cue him yelling at me for skipping a shower
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god my mom would do this ALL THE TIME. Even in high school when I could drive myself.
"YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE ITS ALREADY 7:45"
Looks at phone 7:00
I'm guessing you're British. The first time I heard time said like that a couple of years ago, I wasn't sure if that meant half till 8 (7:30) or half past 8 (8:30). Google did not help and I just guessed it meant half past.
Bless my mother for keeping me from chopping all of my hair off like I wanted to when I was young. I would have never done the upkeep to make it look decent. She let me get bangs when I was 11/12 and even those were, in retrospect, a horrible mistake, but at least it was on a smaller scale. Sometimes mothers do know best.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once had a girlfriend who was a couple years younger than me. Kept unconsciously telling her "You'll understand when you're older". I am no longer with said girlfriend.
I literally asked my mom if I can register to vote - her response was "Why the hell do I care, you'll be 18?" Yet I can't even take a shower when I want to without getting fussed at.
As a kid in highschool with a phone, this never worked on me. I'd wake up to the screams, look at the actual time, and immediately fall back asleep almost as a "fuck you, lying skank".
I love my mom.
jarvitz2 ยท 944 points ยท Posted at 14:12:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have eyes in the back of my head
[deleted] ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 14:21:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 18:28:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Little me wouldve gone to tbe bathroom mirror and lied immediately. Also imagine someone passes by who has a red dot on their head for religious reasons and your child starts calling them a liar.
Atanar ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:07:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of when my grandma told my sister that smoking turns your legs black. First black man she saw (we are rural europeans) she screamed on top of her lungs with finger-pointing: "Hey, look, he smoked too much!".
Lmao what made me think about a religious dot was because my niece had seen laser dots on people in movies before they got shot, and so she started yelling one day in Walmart when a Hindu passed by with the dot (sorry don't know what it's actually called), "HES GONNA DIE HES GONNA DIE MOM MOM HES GONNA DIE" vigorously alternating between pointing at the man and her own forhead.
Mom: "did you eat all the cookies?"
Kid: wipes chocolate off face "no"
Mom: "when you lie a red dot appears on your forehead"
Kid: goes to sleep
Mom: uses red sharpie
Kid: wakes up ready to lie yet again, sees red dot but does not question it... It is now bed time
Mom: uses red sharpie
Until eventually kid believes lying has turned him into a ginger
Talk about punishment
Happ4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me that when I lied my nostrils flared. After that she could see my trying to control my flaring nostrils!
this hit two birds with one stone for my mom โ it was also her excuse on why I couldn't play with her hair. I might touch/see her back-of-the-head eyeballs.
My parents told me that when you become a parent, you get a second pair of eyes inserted into the back of your head by fairies... But where did the fairies get the eyes?
They got them from naughty children, of course.
I grew up convinced that blind people were naughty children that just grew up...
My elementary school principal, who was a scary old nun, would tell us the same thing when she would have to sub for my class. Everyone believed her when she would catch kids doing stuff behind her back, until one of my friends pointed out that she had glasses with little reflections on the side of the lenses.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL I had a scary old nun as principal in elem. school also. She never seemed to walk anywhere, she just kinda glided. The rumor was that she had the minions of Lucifer carry her around.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:06:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That being said, kids are usually not as sneaky as they think they're being. But when you take your eyes off them for a second, they're in the rafters.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:13:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! I'm close. I have extra wide peripheral vision, according to my optometrist.
An old friend of mine had her kids convinced that they had their house wired with cameras while they were at school one day. Told them that if they were misbehaving/fighting/lying, she would "reviewed the tapes" and if she saw that they had lied, they'd be in worse trouble than if they just confessed now. Worked like a fucking charm!
My mom used to say this all the time, and around age 6 or 7 I started to call bullshit.
So she took a pair of stick-on googly eyes from a craft store and stuck them to the back of her head when I wasn't looking and told me, "You can check if you don't believe me."
I screamed for about 2 hours straight. She still claims it was worth it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or, if it's an Nmom (martyr type).... "I did the best I could"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My kids used to believe that one too. They would try to look through my hair. In reality, Mom's. Just. Know. ...and reflections from appliances help too.
awoelt ยท 140 points ยท Posted at 18:07:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Toys R Us is expensive. I understand if they don't want to take me there to get every Rescue Hero on the shelf. But ice cream is a staple. You can not deprive a child of that.
My big brother is a pretty serious runner. One time I heard the ice cream truck coming and ran inside to get my money, but the truck passed our house by the time I'd gotten back outside. My brother saw all that, and he chased that truck down for a good half mile to get me an ice cream sandwich :)
I was the same way. Except I wasn't a runner, I was just a really fat 12 year old with a burning, loving passion of a thousand suns for a Batman Popsicle.
Or in my brothers experience slamming into the back of it while riding full speed on his bike trying to catch it. We both got free ice cream that day though, so that was pretty nice.
Ice Cream Truck Driver here. Just wave. People never do this. We don't know you are trying to stop us unless you wave. (as opposed to being out for a jog, or walking to see the neighbors, etc.)
Really? According to a few studies I've seen (here's one here) the average adult male burns roughly 100-125 calories per mile, and the average adult female burns about 90-100.
Out of curiosity, how would one go about getting an accurate idea of how many calories they've burned while running? My body long ago decided I'm not allowed to run any more when both my knees got blown out and an ankle broken playing hockey, so I've never had the chance to figure this out for myself! lol
Actually, your blood sugar levels aren't a problem unless you have diabetes or you over consume too many calories and eventually develop it. So you eat some sugar, your blood sugar spikes, you have maxed liver glycogen, so it produces insulin which stores that as fat. It's a natural, necessary process. Guess what happens, though, if you don't over consume calories? That fat gets burned later in the day. Your notion that it's more than just calories doesn't pan out. The problems we have with sugar and obesity and the problems related have to do with over consumption. It is nothing inherent in the sugar itself.
"The ice cream truck just buys from the grocery store and jacks up the price."
Not entirely true, but the grocery store DOES have cheaper ice cream. My parents were always straight-forward about things. "We don't have the money for ice cream right now, we'll buy you the cheaper kind later." I was fine with that.
Our second kid had no idea about the ice cream function and thought it was a dancing bus... A bus that came around intermittently to play music for her to dance to :) it worked from age 2- 3
My music teacher told me that his son doesn't know that the ice cream truck sells ice cream. The only reason why he gets excited about it is because other people do xD
A coworker of mine believed it was the dancing truck that rewarded ice cream if you danced. He practiced dancing because he believed he wasn't good enough to get the ice cream. This lasted till he was 12.
I live in a neighborhood surrounded by like ten neighborhoods and for some reason I never saw an ice cream truck until I was like, 15.
Basically up until the age of 15 I thought ice cream trucks used to exist but were a relic of the past(because why buy ice cream from a truck when you have ice cream in your freezer ??) and those darn 40-something Hollywood children's show writers need to get with the program and stop writing episodes about things that don't exist anymore!!!
Also it wasn't until I was an adult before an ice cream truck appeared in my neighborhood..the first time I saw an ice cream truck it was parked outside of my high school. The principal didn't like how people kept crossing the busy street for some ice cream but the ice cream truck had every right to park on the side of a public road so my principal ended up giving him a spot in our parking lot....
Wasn't that a joke in a TV show recently? Agents of Shield? Daredevil?
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:20:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The flash, that episode with Grodd. It's funny, like 2 hours ago I watched that episode for the first time, so that comment also reminded me of that :P
At least they tried to be nice about it. My parents told me that ice cream truck drivers were child molesters who hadn't been caught yet and who poisoned their ice cream before selling it.
I wonder how they explained it when other kids didn't get sick or die after their parents bought ice cream for them. "Oh he's only wanting to poison you." Isn't going to go over well with a kid.
Our version was "Oh, there's the music truck!" We had our daughter convinced when she was little that it was just a public service truck that drove around playing music to amuse people.
The rule when my mother was a child (in the late 40's and early 50's, as one of 6 kids) was that if any of the kids so much as acknowledged the presence of the ice cream man, the answer would be no.
However, if no one asked, and if they had the money, grandma might surprise them by suggesting they go get ice cream.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"ICE CREAM! ICE CREAM! WE'RE ALL OUT OF ICE CREAM!".
efie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to put the wrong coin into those car ride things outside stores and be like aw it's broken
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, i told my daughter that the sound is the sleeping truck and that when she hears it she has to go to bed.
jcdcod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to tell me it was a "music truck." Took me years to figure out they was giving out ice cream too.
XXXTV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For my kid, that's just the music truck. What is an ice cream truck?
ImGrimm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not heard this one before, I want to use it if I have kids though.
RemindMe! Never :'-(
Rei17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to tell me those were "music trucks" that just drove around playing music through the neighborhood. It took me an embarrassingly long amount of time to figure out they sold ice cream.
My parents used to tell me the ice cream man was practicing for the summer until July when he was "actually open"
FaZaCon ยท 684 points ยท Posted at 17:55:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to get so excited by going to Toys'R'Us, that I would feel bad for my parents because they are grownups who no longer were allowed to play with toys. Ahhhhhh, to be prepubescent again.
CTeam19 ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 18:07:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As an Adult who likes Lego, I cried when my local Toys'R'Us closed.
How about Amazon with my goddamn debit card. No pestering someone for $20 to buy a damned Transformer at the store. I'll just order a freaking 30'' Optimus Prime to put on my desk, shipped to my door in less than 48 hours.
Wait for Christmas (are you shitting me, Ma?) for VIDEOGAME?? BAHAHA. Hell no. Click. Download. Paid for with my own money.
I don't give a shit what anyone says. Being an adult is 10x better than being a child. If people lose touch with whats fun when they were kids and can't apply any of that to adulthood, then that's unfortunate.
Yeah it's a lot of fun! Make a party out of it. They typically range from like 10-50$ an hour. I wouldn't pay more than 25$ an hour for it.
glisp42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've just decided to throw a birthday party this year for the first time ever (It helps that I have friends to invite now). You've just given me a wonderful idea.
Oh cool. Sounds like a lot of fun! An adult party with a bouncy house or 2 is really a blast. Also, you should pick up a couple slip n slides while you're at it, go all out.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:43:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If people lose touch with whats fun when they were kids and can't apply any of that to adulthood, then that's unfortunate. the kind of person I don't want to be around because they're usually really stuck up on their high horse looking down on me for enjoying the small things I have all my life.
FTFY
Siphon1 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:28:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You aint kidding. My dream as a kid was to be able to drive to the storm and buy pokemon cards because my mom very rarely let me.
But when I could drive I realized that she'd see me bring it home so it wasnt until college that I got to buy cards. It was rare that I did though even still. But I wasnt limited to to just a pack or so. It's been almost a year now that I got to buy one of the big boxes that game with a bunch of full art cards and such as well as pikachu ex and like 4 packs. No way in hell my mom would have let me get that as a kid. The card I got from it is still my fav card haha.
But now Ive upgraded to just buying individual cards online instead of packs. Ive got about $100 worth of cards in my tcg cart Im gonna buy in sept rather than buy the new big box of 10 packs for a special set. Ill just spend $53 to get all the cards I want from that set with out any extras since there his a high chance I wouldnt get any of the must haves from that box.
Not only that, but I can buy the best action figures too, usually of my fav video game characters.
The biggest adult purchase Ive made though was an $80 collectible true to size Eevee (pokemon) plush for my then fiance after I realized how much she loved my 1:1 scale $42 pikachu.
My childhood dreams are coming true!
(disclaimer: I am responsible with my money and and do not widely buy the mentioned objects. Such decisions are calculated beforehand and then acted on accordingly)
It's satisfying, especially now that I'm in a financial position to indulge in all the stuff I wanted as a kid but could never afford. I'm still sensible about it, but now if I see a Hot Wheels I want, I get it.
Hell yes, my work desk has 3 massive LEGO Technic sets on it.
PCKid11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have one of those "child debit cards" - Move Hendrik or something like that? ;) I have this already at the age of 14, as it's basically a prepaid Visa card.
Siphon1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:40:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HOLE-E-SHIT they're expensive.
FTFY
Srsly though, dang thats crazy! I rarely ever got big lego sets because they would be $70-$100 I remember the occasional set that was a few hundred and it would be some massive set.
My favorite was the spider man legos back when the toby maguire spider man 1 and 2 movies were released. I never got to get the big sets based on the big final battle because they cost so much. The biggest one I ever got was a spider man 2 train wreck set with a train on the track.
My brother was much bigger into legos though and he would get those bigs sets. My mom would put them together, but he would always take them apart after a week or so. He told me recently that he did that because he knew if it was real that pieces would be getting damaged in a fight. But then when he was done, he didnt know how it went back together.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I live a half mile from a Lego store.
And now I feel a thousand Redditors of the Lego Empire casting shade upon me.
glisp42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do too. I stay the hell away unless I know exactly what I'm going to buy there.
We still have toys, we just all agree to pretend that they're things we need. I really need that boat. And that quadcopter. And that new video card... for... work and stuff.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My little boy is almost 1.5. I'm excited to get to play with toys again.
Are you kidding me? I played all the time with toys when my kids were young enough to play with them.
I even managed to really piss off my daughter a few weeks ago by going to hang out with her in the park. My son was somewhere with his friends, so me and my wife bought beer and went to sit in the oh-so-predictable place where my daughter was.
The yells of "mum, dad, go home! you're embarrassing me!" was funny, especially after we cracked open the beer. Meanwhile, her friends came over and told us that they wished their parents were as cool as us.
Ah, trolling teenagers never gets old.
neonerz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's why we have kids. I think I have more fun playing with my son's toys than he does.
I'm a parent. I play with the toys in the store. Hell, I still played with the toys in the store before I had kids. Who cares if other adults are too "grown up" to get it? Have fun when you can, man, cause being a grown up sucks sometimes.
What are you talking about. Adults can do whatever they want, they just don't want to play with shitty children's toys. There's a reason they have age ranges because for most kids/people, past the age it can't hold their attention.
whtsnk ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:22:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs a clever lie. Itโs a creative one, too.
But itโs certainly not โcommonโโlet alone the โmost common.โ
It's a monument to capitalism. If a store was that important to you then I kind of feel bad for you. I have been to Toys R Us. The one near my house has a rather shitty selection of Lego.
My mom told me that toys'r'us was only open at night. We lived an hour and a half outside the city so i didnt get to go into a store until i was 18...for a gift for my neice.
Oh man, Toys"R"Us was like heaven when I was a kid. Granted I only got to go 3 times in my childhood but still, that place was legendary in my eyes. My big brother worked there and occasionally brought home toys for me, it was awesome.
I just went to Toys'R'Us yesterday for the first time in years. My 33 year old self noticed how everything is small and made of the cheapest plastic imaginable. They should also rename the store "Star Wars 'N' Frozen; also some Lego."
We were told you could only go to Toys R Us if you had a invitation (the flyer from the paper).
You couldn't go in without one. Imagine the chaos if every kid could go there on a whim? It would be madness, so this was the only system that worked.
Mom would get first pick at the paper and tell us if we had the invite. Now, I'm assuming she would pull them out if we weren't going and would hold onto the occasional one if we were.
We would proudly carry our flyer into the store and show it to the employees.
Sigh. Thanks, mom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Toys R Us was like heaven back when I was a kid. I was envious at all the other kids and my cousin who were allowed to to buy things from there.
Now I go back with my younger siblings and it bores me. Riding around the store on a random bike on display is still fun though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother told my brother that you're only allowed to attend the carnival in your hometown. He believed it until he was in high school. In her defense, he probably pestered her about going to the carnival every night for months.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL
I told my kids that Chucky Cheese only exists on TV. It's just a make believe place!
They figured it out when they are about 12 and 10.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn... My dad would take me to chuck e cheese and then I'd get $100 to buy whatever I wanted at toys r us next door. I felt like a millionaire! You're parents were either broke or jerks.
[deleted] ยท 2611 points ยท Posted at 12:57:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When my family used to go to the checkout after shopping there would be lollies and chocolate there that you had to see to exit the shop (unlike the stuff in the confectionary aisle). So my mum would tell me that the checkout was where they kept all the stuff that didn't taste nice. I didn't ask for lollies at the checkout very often.
aaeme ยท 1818 points ยท Posted at 13:02:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's like "ice cream vans only play tunes when they've run out of ice cream"
[deleted] ยท 436 points ยท Posted at 13:03:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When i grew up we didnt have a lot of money but we managed and everytime id ask for an ice cream i got the following response:
"No youre not getting ice cream you had one 20 minutes ago (or another reason) but do you really want ice cream?"
Obviously i wanted some but if i said yes this was his response:
"Ok thats no problem go get one"
Me: "but you didnt give me any money"
Him: "you got your allowence dont you?"
Me: "but thats only 50 cents a week"
Him: "better go to work then"
Me: "but im underaged. im not allowed. Not fair!" (As kids would say)
Him: "life is not always fair and you couldve saved up"
Definately learned a life lesson and the value of money.
Taokan ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 14:57:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, checkout line chocolate and ice cream van ice cream are some bottom of the barrel crap. So technically, she's not wrong.
As a Rhode Islander, I'm always amazed at how far away things are in other states. 2.5 hours would literally get me two whole states away.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:42:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On the other hand, as a Rhode Islander, "two whole states away" sounds a whole lot less impressive than I imagine it would to someone from Texas or something. Also, the closest Clark's Trading Post is still 2.5 hours away!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate to interrupt this... whatever it is... but...
As a guy in a grocery store the front candy is the candy that never ever gets rotated properly. It's also where any cashier or front-end who's lazy is going to stick the one odd one they found on the floor under the mat because it's closer than the scan-outs. You're already at the checkout and you're not going to pick that moment to get picky and complain about something you can just put back in the same spot.
I can't say much having never worked in an ice cream truck, but I did have an uncle who ran one for a few years and I don't know how you think they work but you shouldn't expect quality from a mobile fridge.
I realize it's slutty under-regulated chocolate, but sometimes the best things in life are illegal.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can appreciate that, and hell I eat the same stuff. I disagree with the 16 or so people who've downvoted /u/Taokan as if he/she crossed some kind of line or something. It seems to me the hivemind has been acting very peculiar lately, like the tiniest bit of cloud in their sunshine is an act of aggression.
Taokan ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They either got way worse than when I was a kid, or my tastes improved as I discovered real chocolate.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:36:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bet you hate Miller Lite and Folgers and McDonald's too.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
McDonald's egg sandwiches are actually pretty good.
Taokan ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Correct on all accounts. I tend to reserve "hate" for something like ISIS, but I won't buy any of those.
Damn son, downvoted hard for not liking cheap brands. Strange reddit :/
Taokan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:26:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got 34 points for suggesting someone be cremated.
Reddit is a dark place.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure it's been said time and time again, but I've noticed another sharp decline in the LCD. I work in a grocery store, you were right the whole time, but they didn't like it cause you looked like a contrarian.
I have no idea what you mean. Do you actually think we call all chocolate "candy" instead because its not good enough to be chocolate? The term "candy bar" exists as a generic term because most of the time its not entirely or even mostly chocolate. Some dont have any at all.
I've heard Europeans say they cant stand Hershey plenty of times but Reeses and Kit-kat and Snickers and Twix too? I thought they even sell most of that to you guys, so how can it all be crap?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:33:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I guess its just hard to accept that every single attempt from where I live is just inherently inferior, especially when we're talking about things that are hard to get in the opposite place. Have you actually tried a Milky way, or Butterfinger or some of the American specific ones that aren't as hugely famous? Almond joy, 3 Musketeers, 100 Grand, Take 5, Payday, Baby Ruth, ect?
The one you cant name is probably either Milk Duds or Whoppers, but I never thought of either of those as disgusting.
Can't speak for the other ones (I don't like peanuts or Twix), but KitKat tastes different here. European Kitkat is made by Nestle, while US Kitkat is made by Hershey.
Isnt that exactly what I said? The term exists so I can refer to some kind of sweet thing Im going to buy at a convience store. It probably has some amount of chocolate in it, but it may or may not actually be chocolate. The fact that the legality reflects that is just common sense.
How could you possibly think thats what they meant? The comment requires context. Its responding to mine which is about the candy being crap. He's saying its called candy because it tastes terrible, not because of actual facts like whats in it. Also its not clear if he just means candy bars or all chocolate in the US, and thinks we refer to any chocolate as "candy."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In 2007, the Chocolate Manufacturers Association in the United States, whose members include Hershey, Nestlรฉ, and Archer Daniels Midland, lobbied the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to change the legal definition of chocolate to let them substitute partially hydrogenated vegetable oils for cocoa butter, in addition to using artificial sweeteners and milk substitutes. Currently, the FDA does not allow a product to be referred to as "chocolate" if the product contains any of these ingredients. In the EU a product can be sold as chocolate if it contains up to 5% vegetable oil, and must be labelled as 'family milk chocolate' rather than 'milk chocolate' if it contains 20% milk.
Haha, I have a friend whose toddler knows that as the "music truck." He gets so excited to go out on the lawn and dance to the music. Little guy has no idea there's ice cream in there.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend with kids told them it was a music van that went around playing music. That worked for a few weeks until their friends told them what it was...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me the ice cream truck was a music truck when I was little. I missed years of ice cream that way.
V1per41 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus. My aunt convinced her son that those were "Music Trucks" and simply played irritating electric calliope bell tones for public enjoyment. It wasn't until he was seven years old and the neighbor's kid heard one coming that they were referenced as ice cream trucks. He grew up to be a real angry prick. Sometimes I wonder why.
Oh god, I let them in on the Santa secret from birth! I've been all ABOUT depriving them of those "magical experiences." Our house had no Santa, no Easter Bunny, no Tooth Fairy. They knew the stories, but I never tried to get them to believe it.
I know, I'm weird. It was one of the few actual lies I told my kids. It was hypocritical.
Actually, my parents told us that the ice cream van was the fish truck. That both the fish truck and the ice cream van played the same music, and they knew (because they were wise, all knowing parents) by the sound that the one I was hearing that moment...oh, it was definitely the fish truck.
I was told that the ice cream man takes away the ice cream we have in the freezer, just like how the garbage man takes our garbage and the recycle man takes our recycling. My siblings and I ran away from ice cream trucks for years.
GVTV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am I the only one with parents who straight up just said no?
[deleted] ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 15:27:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
kennyl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:45:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah kids, don't even TRY them. They totally taste bad and even two people, a Redditor and another Redditor's mom have confirmed. When you see that lollipop at the checkout, DON'T GET IT.
yapol ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:01:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum just told me the ice cream man stuck his hands up his bum
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:13:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Any time we'd pass those areas or a fast food shop or anything like that my mom would say, "Oh you don't like candy/McDonalds/ice cream. I know, you told me."
I would insist I did, but she'd keep saying I didn't. And by the time it ended we were already gone from the treat.
MorrisM ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:23:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And thus they invented the checkout aisle without sweets, just with boring adult stuff like soap and condoms.
ender89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:37:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're describing literally every American supermarket
Lots of stuff needs to be made up at the store. When I was little I asked if I could have one of those pre-made Easter baskets but mom said those were for bad kids that the Easter bunny doesn't visit lol
Nazmazh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents would always go "ooh, yuck" or "gross!" or some such thing when McDonalds ads came on.
They weren't huge fans of McDonalds, but didn't really hate it or anything. The ads were just everywhere back in the day, and definitely slanted towards convincing kids that they "needed McDonalds right now!".
I eat at McDonalds once in a while now, but it still feels a little weird, tbh, even after I worked there in high school.
My mom just outride bribed me. If I was good (ie, no whining) I could pick a candy. I would eat a bit, get tired of it, and she would get the rest. It was a very good system for both of us. I wasn't allowed to pick gum though, not after a few unfortunate gum-in-my-pocket-through-the-washing-machine incidents.
I have a friend who's Mom used to tell her that the ice cream truck only plays music when they are out of treats and also that when people talk about "candy" they are referring to frozen peas and carrots.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A friend's mom told her she was allergic to chocolate so she wouldn't get fat. She was also a pageant kid, and though the mom seems very nice, I think she was kind of living vicariously through her daughter bc she didn't have the same looks/talent.
Great anecdote and I also learned the word confectionery!
bexyrex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn that's brilliant.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom did something like this. I kept losing my allowance because I was dumb and 8 so she would put it into a bank account and I could take money out of it. I just stopped using it at all really cause I'd mow lawns or whatever for cash and after awhile of checking the account I realized she almost never put money into it. I didn't take any money out past 6th grade and I told her it was just gonna be a college account. College rolls around and there's 1100 dollars in the account. I did the math and I should've had at least 3500 but at least she didn't take all of it.
When I was a kid, they had these giant quarter-operated gumball machines that dispensed plastic eggs with toys or candy in them. Now days those seem to have all been replaced with RedBox movie dispensers or coinstar machines.
Not really relevant, but this post reminded me of those.
My mom pulled a version of this. She told me all the candy in those displays was fake and only letting you know what they had in the back. I never asked for candy until I was like 8 because someone spilled the beans.
cbop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like my parents solution. If I asked for one or two things ahead of time I could get them but if I asked for something when I was next to it (like a candy bar at the checkout line) I couldn't.
carnessa ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 18:18:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm uncomfortable you used the words "lolies" and "confectionary aisle" like why are your Reddit comments pretentious. Like an actually intelligent person would have realized how shitty both of those words are
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
What words would you have used instead? I am Australian and we use different words than you Americans. For example, we barely ever use the word 'candy' and use 'lolly' instead. 'Candy is only used when it's in the name of something (rock candy is an example).
We dont really say lolli for lollipop/sucker in the states (as far as I know) so I just kept imagining a store selling underage anime girls. Boy, my pants feel tight all of a sudden...
0x10B5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:44:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This seems like a great way to give your child license to think that they're entitled to hit people just because they're saying things they don't like.
Some kids would probably act like that, but i know my parents told me if a bully tries to fight me or keeps messing with me, then i have their permission. not: if you disagree with them punch them.
i said my point of view at the start - violence isn't the answer. you said that it is, and i think it's unfortunate that your children are being raised by someone with the mentality of a high school student.
Xperr7 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 21:26:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And if I hit a girl for picking on me I get sent to jail
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:33:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Assuming you're not a child, yeah...
Sunlit5 ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 18:34:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. This is damaging in so many ways for years to come.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:52:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never understood that one. When I was a kid the guys who liked me were super nice to me. They picked flowers for me and gave me home-made Valentine's cards and told me I was pretty. If a boy was mean to me I'd be mean right back, so nobody who actually wanted me to like them was stupid enough to bully me.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:34:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The boys who picked flowers only did it to show their disdain for you
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:20:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting story, although I fail to see how this backs up the 'boys can't control themselves/emotionally immature' thing. Shit I did stuff like this all the time from 9 to 14, and I'm a girl. This sounds like a normal dumb things that most kids/adults do, not an example of why boys in particular are inherently dumb as kids when in reality all kids are kinda dumb.
Ages 11-14? Im 21 and I camt open up unless Im talking to my gf. My best friend didn't get why I was the only one not crying at my moms funeral a month ago cause I have only told my ex how much I disliked my mom
Reddit is different. Nobody knows who you are. I can tell people here anything and it doesn't matter, because Giraffeics doesn't have a face, and more importantly, doesn't have my face.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:12:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Haha a grade 3 classmate told me her crush, and for some unknown reason I blurted out "Sally likes Bobby" in the middle of class. She burst into tears and I was sent to the office. Plot twist: I'm now married to "Bobby"
Poor Sally. You stole her man AND she has Betty and Don for parents.
At least she has Glenn to talk to.
henn64 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Between the ages of 11 and 14, I had basically no control over what I did or who I told things to.
Accurate.
I was the calmest, most timid child and barely gave my parents any problems, but between about 10 and 12 I just did whatever.
My parents also tell me I didn't go through my "terrible twos" 'till I was twelve, then suddenly mellowed out when I turned 13.
The motivation matters not, the effect is still bad and in need of solution. People say this shit to kids in order to not have to put in the necessary effort to solve the problem, but it does not help the kid in question unless the desired outcome was to teach them both "people who like you can be jerks to you and that's normal" and "someone being a jerk to you is not something people will be willing to help you with"
I think it depends on the context, there is a line between picking on someone in a fun/harmless way versus berating them and borderline bullying.
I'm slightly introverted but not really that shy, but I find it's fun to tease girls as long as it is done in a way that's obvious and not mean in any way. (And yes, I can imagine many people trying to pull this off then spilling some offensive joke that is not funny at all). IMHO I find it helps break me through the small talk, because it generally leads them to rebutting my tease with something funny, leading to genuine conversation.
Tubaka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There must have been some raging Homos at my school
But I'm a guy sooooo wow cool I guess I was hot for all the gay bullies then!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:23:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We used to snap girls bras straps and make fun of them in grade 7. I cant speak for the other boys, but I did it out of some fucked up projection of the hormone fueled feelings I didn't know how to properly express.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly hire someone to mock them and when they bringing it up say they like them
Hate this one. It feeds the idea later that even "minor" abuse is actually a sign of affection.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Similar, "they bully you because their jealous." No. I got bullied for being weird as shit.
Siphon1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is basically how the courts see rape. Aww that guy just really liked that girl and they couldnt contain their drunken selves. The girl practically fainted with excitement.
This is sad... in the other manner than the most of this thread.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:30:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yea! She is the best woman I have in my life. I mean, we all have little complaints and issues with our moms, but I feel, none of these count when you compare to the love our mom gives us!
Wow, it's extremely shitty for a parent to do this to their child. I didn't realize how common it was, and it's kind of making me mad.
Sawses ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:56:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. My parents never did that. In fact, I'd probably just be like, "Yeah, you guys aren't worth knowing." if they were the sort who did. Frankly, I'd lose any respect for anyone who thought it was okay to steal from their child.
"I'll give it to you when you get older" was what mines said or "When you become a doctor".
It took me till I was 14 to realize I wouldn't need the money if I actually became one.
My kids have a pretty decent fat bank account each as I've saved all their money for them over the last 15-17 years.
The problem is that a) they don't know about these accounts and b) I have no idea how to give it to them. Right now, our plan is to give it to them for their first deposit on a house/apartment.
If you are going to give it to them, teach them how to use it. Receiving a big amount in a short amount of time can be overwhelming and they might not use it responsible.
leanik ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 23:34:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well especially if they don't have smaller amount of money to learn from growing up...
Yeah... I went from I couldn't get a job because my mom wouldn't sign the slip, to making 1200 every 2 weeks after tax. Lots of money has been wasted
Kbost92 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:51:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I got a lump sum when I turned 18. Moved straight out and put it all towards rent, cocaine, liquor and pills. Oh and going to the club, buying guns and a few dirt bikes. Don't give your kids a bunch of money. I like the idea of first payment/security deposit/down payment on a house type of thing. That way it's harder for them to fuck it up.
Sawses ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:57:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I've always saved like a Jew. I just don't spend much money, because I'm intensely aware of how limited the supply is. If I got a large sum of money, I'd probably go right on as I do right now...though maybe with a slightly nicer used car that won't get me killed when it snows.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:36:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jew here. I can't tell if you're anti-Semitic or not. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and offer you this apropos link:
HDpotato ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:21:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stay in charge of the account yourself, but let them ask you to use it for big purchases for them. Like a car, furniture, stuff like that.
VK2DDS ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:44:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If it makes you feel any better (depending on what stage of life you're at) the CNY$50k my in-laws collected at our wedding wasn't our's to begin with either.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:57:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What does CNY$50k mean? What is it and why did your in-laws collect it?
VK2DDS ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:13:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I denoted Chinese Yuan as CNY because I didn't bother finding the unicode symbol for it. It was about AUD$10k which is about USD$7k.
I'm not 100% with the culture (I'm Australian, wife is Chinese national with permanent residency in Australia) but my basic understanding of it is that at big events like weddings the host records how much each guest gives and plans to repay it when the guest has their own big event. There were about 200 adult guests so individuals were only giving the equivalent of ~$50 Australian.
locdogjr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:21:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As for his in-laws, sounds like they were taking advantage of their status as in-laws and acted as the OP and spouse's "representative", then ran off with the cash.
alykatxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:38:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure what is OP's situation but the parents of the wedding couple usually take the money (or the kids will pass it to them) because they usually paid for a large part of the wedding or gave them huge wedding gifts. Then again a lot of people have their own way of doing things these days and it ranges from parents paying for the entire wedding and thus taking the money, to kids paying for everything and "recouping" the cost spent from the money, to even parents paying nothing but still taking the money (though I'd like to think this happens much less).
I feel your pain. But i submitted a full on written report of "planned expenditure" with a projected 75% in savings post repayment for reciprocal red packets.
They let me keep a hundred bucks
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 21:13:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I told my four year old this. My husband thinks I'm a monster and it is kind of sad that she hears it and gets excited until she remembers that the music means they're out. I told her I'd let her know when they changed to mean they bought more ice cream. Then I turned around and told my husband "you better not fuck me over on this."
I had a similar turn around. I was always told that the music meant they had ran out, but when the ice cream van stops, so does the music. That meant that the ice-cream man had made some more
That they want you to grow up and get married. Don't get me wrong they can still be happy/supportive, but I've found they aren't always 100% on board with their little boy not needing/wanting them anymore.
[deleted] ยท 1123 points ยท Posted at 16:17:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when my English teacher shared the news of her daughter in law being pregnant-
"Oh I just can't wait, I love grandkids! You can take them for a weekend, spoil them to death and give them back to the parents to handle the damage control!"
[deleted] ยท 95 points ยท Posted at 18:10:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As someone with a MIL like this, this makes my eye twitch.
[deleted] ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 18:51:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 19:22:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:33:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:42:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm eating your words. They're delicious.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
nopooq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's terrible.
Jdm5544 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:02:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once told my mother
"No one wants to be a parent, they want to be a grandparent, kids are just paying your dues and that is why parents pester their kids to have there own."
My mom starts saying that isn't true I love my children etc etc.
And my grandmother (my mom's mom) is just sitting in the corner nodding empathicly. Funniest thing I ever saw
Siphon1 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:02:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh so this. My mom is often dropping little hints about "when we have kids" even though my wife and I told her before we were married that we didnt want kids. We both want our lives to be like dating forever haha. We live together see each other when we can (I have an iffy work schedule so that keeps things mixed up). and we can buy the things we want and go where we want with out worrying about the extra 20k-30k we'd be spending on a kid each year.
Plus for me, I have seen kids ruin what would have been nice moments. I remember certain things like Christmas morning and such when things would be going well but me, my bro or sister might doing something and my mom would get mad and I felt like we had ruined the moment. Then there's the little annoyances. Like cant go out alone, cant have sex b/c kids are around, things get broken or ruined (this happened with me a lot because I should have known "x" was supposed to be done this way but no one ever told me) and then just noise and whining and not being able to rest.
I have heard so many people complain about their kids and say how they go to work to catch a break. I dont want any part in being responsible for a child.
I dont hate kids by any means. I didnt even realize I was on a rant. I just know my mom wants grand kids and she will be dissapointed as time goes on. Ill leave that to my other 2 siblings haha
Been married almost 6 years and I think my in laws are still upset that their little boy doesn't live with them anymore. Then, when I had my first, she was mad I never let her babysit. I didn't go anywhere the first year, I wasn't "keeping him from her". I was doing my job as a mother. We lived 10 minutes away, she could have come over. I just don't understand it and hope to keep that in mind when my kids move out.
Oh god. The complaining about "babysitting." My ILs are batshit about wanting to keep our kid for an overnight. Still hasn't happened. Probably won't for a long time, if ever. I'm basically making a list of annoying shit MIL and FIL do to make sure I don't do the same to my son when he grows up, moves out, and starts a family.
And GOD FORBID you even IMPLY that you don't want trophies. If your mother is like mine, you'll get not-so-subtle facebook posts about how you're a horrible person if you don't give your parents grandkids.
My mom is great. Wants us to have as many kids as we feel like when we feel ready. MIL wants lots and to be "second" mom. FIL. Oh god FIL. He wants me to have as many as I physically can as fast as I can.
I honestly thought when we got married that our parents were both pretty chill about the whole no-kids thing. Then, after our first anniversary, came the 'no better feeling than holding your baby's baby' Facebook posts from my side and the awkward 'well you're still young and there's still time' from mu husband's.
My mom and dad are pretty awesome. I feel a bit sorry for them because they've got 4 kids, I'm the youngest by a fair margin at 26, and no grandkids, and no expectation for them by anyone any time soon. (And my dad LOVES babies) That being said, I think my mom fully understands why I might not want to have kids - she did have to sacrifice a lot.
My MIL, on the other hand.... she already has two grandkids (one from each of his brothers) and we're pretty certain that both of my husband's brothers will be having another kid at a certain point.
And she's all up in arms that we need to have a kid too so that they'll all be the same age! Dude. We live in Michigan, one brother lives in Texas, and the other brother lives in Florida. They'll never really know each other, even if they were the same age!
Blech. They're even going to be buying a pack-n-play or something similar for us because my niece is coming up to go to a wedding in Michigan and they don't want to fly with one and then "you can keep it for later on".
Dude. I'm still in school, and it's likely I'm infertile, and at this point I'm thinking that kids are looking less and less appetizing. But of course, we're coming up on our 2nd wedding anniversary so we must be getting ready to have a kid, right?
Oh god, My mom is the same way with me. I honestly think she would have been thrilled if I had an accident and some rando got me pregnant. She wants me to have babies NOW and does not care who impregnates me. Thankfully, current boyfriend is an awesome guy and it wouldn't be terrible if it did happen, but she was even like this when I was single.
My step dad got do-over kids (His sons had both grown up and moved out and working pretty solid career's and then married my mom - with three kids, oldest was like.... 12)
Oh my god. Both sets of grandparents are this way. It's insane. When I'm a grandmother in hopefully a few years yet (no rush!...my oldest is 20), I really hope I don't do the things my parents and in-laws do. I'm sure I will though.
oh god me too. They say they wanted him to become independent, but they didn't teach him even the basics of chopping vegetables/cooking pasta/doing laundry or anything like that and encouraged him to bring his laundry back on visits home from college so his mom could do it for him. It's such an uphill battle.
Are you married to my husband, too? All laundry goes in together, so he has no white shirts anymore - they are all some dirty gray shade. He folds shirts in weird-ass triangles that drive me insane. He thinks a grilled cheese is two slices of white bread and a slice cheese thrown in the microwave for 45 seconds. He also had no idea what to do with the whole peaches or other whole fruit I put in his lunch. He had only eaten canned peaches and sliced fruit.
His mother is a damned know-it-all. /eyeroll
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:12:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The first time I saw my husband throw white shirts, a nice dress shirt, and his dirty ass work uniform into the same load on the highest hot water setting, I straight up asked him what the fuck he thought he was doing.
So let me preface this by saying my mother wouldn't let me leave for college before teaching me how to sort laundry, what temp to wash which colors in, etc., so I know the correct way of doing things.
That being said, I still wash everything together in hot water (unless it's like brand new clothing that hasn't been washed yet/more likely to run). I live by myself and only do maybe 1 load of laundry a week, so it doesn't make sense for me to wait until I have enough laundry to seperate colors out into different full loads to wash. I haven't really ever had any issues with colors running or anything, is there something else I'm maybe messing up by doing this?
Hot water will fade your clothes faster than using cold. Also, mixing heavy items like jeans with thinner work/dress clothes can put wear your dress clothes from the friction. You pretty much can wash everything in cold.
Goluxas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:15:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a simple man. I fill a laundry basket, I put it in the machine on "Permanent Press", I collect it an hour later.
I'm going through this with my boyfriend! He's 36! He never separated his colors, darks and blacks, everything was on the highest settings. One time he grabbed my lacy panties and threw them in the regular dirty clothes... let's just say he never did that again.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:54:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, we have a pact, he sorts and puts them in the washer and I do the dishes. He hates dishes more than anything and will let them build up if he can. He's so much better with my dedicates now. So happy!
Solution: don't purchase white shirts. I'm an "everything goes in one load" laundry kind of guy. Less loads I need to do the better. My mom still gives me grief about it to this day. I despise laundry.
I, however, am an excellent cook/baker. Turns out the quickest way to a woman's heart is also through the stomach.
Actually that is one way to cook rice. ..although its not common. I usually make it that way if I am . making biryani ( an Indian rice dish) or if im not sure how the rice will turn out by making it the regular way.. .texture wise as my husband is very picky with his rice.
Parenthood, the happiest/saddest job. Its the only job where you actively work to make yourself unnecessary. :'( Mines 1 and I will count myself successful if he lives on his own with his own life and still wants me around. My dad says the saddest day of his life was the day I didn't run out to greet him when he got home from work. Because he knew I was growing up.
ladyxdi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:22:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad said this often during my teenage years: "You used to be such a loving child."
Now I'm in my 30's and he regularly tells me that he's proud of me, so that's good.
I'm pregnant now and one of my biggest fears is turning into one of those super overbearing mothers to a son and making my daughter-in-law's life hell.
That's weird. My mom attributes all of my successes to my wife. Like, "You never would have gotten anywhere if she wasn't kicking your butt out of bed every morning."
Like it's my fault that beds are so warm and inviting.
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 17:33:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was a son until high school, when I had to be the one to make sure my mother worked during her depression.
If the movie had been out, my catchphrase would have been "Look. Look at me. I am the parent now."
ademnus ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:58:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, in many cases it's "when will you find someone and settle down" followed by "no son of mine will marry a girl like her!"
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:14:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. My MIL liked me until I told me husband that we would not be living with them forever and she couldn't make his appointments for him anymore.
Mom to three boys here... I know I will never have a daughter, so right now I am looking forward to them having wives I can treat as my own daughters. I look forward to having a DIL. But I know when the time comes for them to start settling down... I am going to be one of those moms that thinks no one is good enough for her baby lol. So hopefully that makes them pick someone even more extra special who I will love even more.
Both things can be true at the same time. I genuinely want my kids to grow up, go to college, find people to include in their lives, and have their own kids if and when they want to.
But I know damned well I'm going to miss having them so much in my life, and that I'll be frustrated when they inevitably make mistakes after ignoring my advice (which is exactly what I did to my parents).
That's true, but you should see the head trip they do the girls.
> 50% of those "don't leave the house or you'll be raped / murdered / molested!" themes have an actual source of their mother not wanting to lose control over their daughter.
Oh he brought you flowers and calls you every day? Her mothers brain goes "crap my daughter is drifting away from me! how can I stop this?" Watch out, boys just want to use you for sex! Don't be alone with him, or bad things can happen.
I have a son and fear I will feel this way one day, especially since he is my only child.
However, I also hate having someone depend on me, so . . . maybe I'll be thankful someone else will be willing to take on the burden of making sure he's taken care of.
Especially if he turns out like his father. I can only deal with one man-child.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother always screams she can't wait for me to move out because I own so much stuff and my dogs constantly make work for her, but she also doesn't want me to ever move out because she loves me and loves my dogs so it's like "What do you actually want me to do? Stop my life to stay here or move ahead?".
Studog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:39:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am finding this with my fiance, and her mom.. she is really struggling with the fact that her baby girl is growing up and moving out.. my finance is 24, and will be the first in her family (cousins and all) to get married.. I will be like the 12th out of all my cousins, so this is old news for us..
[deleted] ยท 3157 points ยท Posted at 14:59:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm fine, don't worry about me"
A headache, she's fine. Doing the chores alone, she's fine no need to help. Crying after a fight with dad, she's ok go to sleep.
Mothers are really tough. At least mine was.
LithaBel ยท 1516 points ยท Posted at 16:06:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother went through a VERY rough custody battle over me. My father put her through hell. But still, every time I asked if she was okay she gave me a big smile and a "Of course baby girl!" Now that I'm older I told her that I appreciated how strong she was for me, and she said "That's what moms do darlin'." She's the strongest person I know.
We had something similar. My mom would have divorced my dad ages ago if she could be sure he wouldn't have any sort of custody. But there was always the risk that her 8 year old and 5 year old would be left alone with his drunk ass away from her. No way she would risk that. And the thing is, TV makes it seem like you can just kick a dude out of his house, but if he doesn't want to leave you can't legally make him. So until we were both 18 she was basically a single mother dealing with two kids and a belligerent drunk adult the whole time. Sometimes it takes just as much strength to stay in a bad position as it does to leave one.
LithaBel ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:10:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry that happened to your family. Your mom sounds absolutely amazing! I hope you guys are doing better :)
VoiceSC ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:11:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like my brother-in-law's sister. She has 3 kids with this guy that's basically a deadbeat, he doesn't love his kids and is an alcoholic. Everyone wishes she would get rid of him but it's not that simple.
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 17:45:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I went through something similar with my parents, single mom raised me from the age of 4, worked two jobs, fought my alcoholic dad in custody for years. She was always strong, I do not have the iron will of that woman.
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 16:22:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. Sometimes you wonder where they're getting the strength to push on. Kudos to your mom.
VoiceSC ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:09:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom went through the same thing man. The battle in court seemed to take years (actually just new/changes to custody agreements). Give her a hug from me and my mom. My mom gives the best hugs in the area code.
The worst part is that when you grow up and you realize how much your mom was doing for you and what an asshole you were,even if you were "just a kid". I still, sometimes, can't look my mom straight into eyes when I remember what I sometimes did in my childhood...
LPT: Go ahead and hug your mom while still crying about that and don't forget to just say thank you, you never know when it'll be the last chance to do that and she'll appreciate that to the sky and back.
Simple thank you without saying anything else will make her day. (and if she'll ask why are you thinking her for just say "for being my mom"
I'm so sorry you went through that. Man, no kid should have to. I'm glad that your parents are (reasonably) happy right now, but I also understand the anger of a stolen childhood. I hope you're doing okay now. Hugs!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:31:25 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, I really appreciate the kind words. I just try to remember there are plenty of kids worse off than I was. As much as my situation wasn't ideal, I never went without food and was never abused, so it really could have been worse.
Mine is the strongest person i know. Moms are like that. :)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lucky. My mom would always tell me about how many problems she had and how many things she had to do and how little money she had. It really stressed me out. (Also we were not even close to being poor, I know that for a fact).
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:52:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not what all moms do :( time travel and adopt me pls
Well, reddit is a harsh place. I'm sorry you've found no sympathy here.
Just remember that you cannot allow other people's actions to determine your place in life, even when one of them is your parent. While I will not defend your mother's actions, it is likely that fear was a big motivation for her at the time. Most mothers I have known are tigresses when it comes to their children - tear apart any threat to your child first, ask questions later. It makes for bad choices.
I'm sorry it was depressing :( My dad did use me for leverage I guess, because he wanted to "win." The weird thing is that now I'm an adult myself I have a good relationship with him, but man, I hated him for a really long time.
I'm sorry if you went through sometime similar. No kid should.
Ouch... this hit way to close to home. Love how you talk about her. People like her are amazing. I'm lucky if I get half as good as a father than our mothers were to us :)
Keep it up, all of you
That's correct, he did fight to have me, but it wasn't because he was a good father. He wanted to "win" and wanted my mom to "lose." He told me as much. But I fully understand that everyone's situation is different, and maybe the two of us wish we could've swapped with the other. Hugs!
Much appreciated, I didn't mean come across misogynistic or arrogant. It's just sounds alien to me to have your parents fighting over you for whatever reason, because mine didn't care and if anything tried to shove me off on the other. I guess things are rough all over.
I'm sure OP knows the situation better than what we can guess. It's entirely possible he was just fighting for custody because he didn't want to pay child support, or to "punish" OP's mom for leaving him.
I once made a comment on Reddit about how my father was physically abusive to her, she finally left him when she was pregnant with me because she was worried he'd hurt me, and that I never heard anything from him or his family.
I got sooo many comments about how my mom had probably made the whole thing up to keep me away from him and he was probably out there desperately trying to find me.
Even after I said that I'd seen police reports, had the rest of her family tell me how awful my father was, and even looked him up online to find out he'd served time for domestic abuse and child abuse, somehow this was probably still a conspiracy of my mom against him.
I think I came off as argumentative or arrogant, that wasn't my intention at all. I was genuinely curious.
Galotha ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:58:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
The whole fighting for custody simply because he doesn't want to pay child support doesn't really make sense to me.
If you are implying that it is cheaper for him to have custody of the children than to pay child support, that means that child support payments exceed the actual cost of raising a child. Especially since medical bills and insurance, extracurricular activities, and day care are all paid separate of child support.
So based on your statements logic child support payments are more than the cost to raise the child in ones own home.
And honesty they are. I am currently paying 535 a month in child support. If my children lived with me full time I would be spending 200 of that on there living needs (this doesn't include the current amount I spend for them on my weekends) and the rest on other activities.
I contribute more financially to their lives than there mother does. She still hasn't gotten a job. Lives with her mom, and collects welfare.
There is much more to this as well. Currently she took out another false domestic abuse claim on me and I spent the weekend I was supposed to have my kids in jail. This is 2 weeks after she denied my last week of summer visitation so I haven't held my girls in a month. Every time I text to see if I can skype with them I am told "to stop contacting her that she will file harassment charges if I text again". I'm sure the kids are starting to think daddy doesn't love us.
And that is killing me. I feel physically weak due to the emotional toll this is having on me.
And all this is occurring because after her last affair I finally said I can't do this anymore. So because I said the marriage is over she had take my children, called my work and told them I am abusing her, taken all my stuff and wants me to pay 1200 dollars for it back, and put me in jail by telling lies.
I don't even know if I can date anyone again. Every time I meet someone I like I second guess myself and decide I don't have anything to offer this person. My life sucks and I am a horrible partner and they will end up leaving me. Or I will destroy how great their life is because of how fucked up mine is.
I can't escape and I can't even hug my children. Most days I feel like I am one step from just breaking down and I don't know if I will get back up.
EDIT: I in no way meant to imply I was angry or disagreeing with the OP about his mother. I was disagreeing with the child support vs no child support argument. Any father worth his salt( or mother) is already prepared to take their children on full time. Not saying it would be easy, but they could do it for the children. Sorry OP if you think I was bashing you.
The whole fighting for custody simply because he doesn't want to pay child support doesn't really make sense to me.
Doesn't make sense to me either, since it's more expensive to have the kids than it is to just pay a couple hundred bucks a month for child support, not to mention the extra time and emotional toll.
If my children lived with me full time I would be spending 200 of that on there living needs (this doesn't include the current amount I spend for them on my weekends) and the rest on other activities.
$200/mo would pay for all the extra food, increased utility usage, extracurricular activities, larger apartment or house you'd need, babysitters/daycare, school fees and supplies, etc for multiple children? The hell it would.
My husband and I have been thinking of having a child recently, we sat down to do the math and it's going to cost at least an extra $1000 per month. For one kid. God help us when they hit puberty and eat everything in sight while joining like four different sports teams.
As for the rest of your post, I'm sorry you're going through that but you shouldn't compare your situation to OP's. It seems like you're implying OP's mom is a lying bitch without knowing anything about the situation. As a side note, you need a better lawyer. Yeah, they're expensive, but would you rather have money or your sanity?
Galotha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not implying anything about OP's mom. The only comment I was referring to was the child support comment.
As far as the money part goes, yes 200 more a month. You seem to think that the 535 is all I spend on the children. I already have an apartment that is big enough for them. I already pay for extracurricular activities, and I already pay for a baby sitter for when I have them during the week. I already buy them clothes for the month. And the only extra utilities would be a slightly increased water bill and the tv in their bed room being on more often. Not that much. Food bill would remain the same. When I grocery shop I buy based on my kids and my needs. Even though I only have them every other weekend I plan my finances around them. Just as I have done since they were born. I have always paid for everything for them. And now that she took them from me it is costing me more than it did when I had them. My life rotates around them. I am a father. But when I am being used just as a bank account and not being able to properly raise my children it kills me.
My lawyer needs to step up his game. But he can't change domestic violence laws. If someone fills out the proper forms at the police station they are required to arrest you based on that persons testimony. But we will be taking it all to court. I'm threatening enough to her that I can't see my kids, but not threatening enough that she is afraid to repeatedly ask for more and more money.
You seem to think that the 535 is all I spend on the children.
If you go above and beyond your child support obligation then obviously my comment doesn't refer to you. There are very dumb people who think it's cheaper to have full custody of their kids than it is to pay child support (and only child support). They are who I was referring to.
If someone fills out the proper forms at the police station they are required to arrest you based on that persons testimony.
And if someone does that enough times and you're found faultless every time, you file a civil suit against them for vexatious litigation. Seriously man, you have a shit lawyer. Get a better one.
I can empathize with you, although the genders are reversed (and I've never been in jail).
I often had the feeling that I have nothing to offer people. Even though I do have a loving partner, I still feel like I have nothing to offer to other people as a friend. Life has been getting better, though, even if it took several years.
That said, I get the feeling that maybe you're taking your anger out on the OP, who is in a different life circumstance.
All I can suggest is to have empathy and compassion for everyone. And keep trying to see your kids. But make sure to not make it a tug of war just to spite the other parent. Forgive others and forgive yourself (I know the latter is tough).
Galotha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. I try not to hold on to anger. I am actually not angry with my ex at all. She does upset me when she interferes with my custody time and lies about me. But I am not angry. Just very sad that this is my life. And I can't change it unless I give up on my children. If I keep trying to be a father to them my ex is just going to keep filing false charges and end up sending me to jail.
I did not mean to imply anything about OP's situation. I have amended my post with an edit to clarify this.
Don't give up, it took me 3 years to make any sort of progress. As long as you have the best intentions and you have persistence, you can make progress in seeing your kids.
BowLit ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 18:36:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was nine, my mother had a migraine that dragged on for a week. My father was away on business and so my siblings and I were very worried. We'd constantly ask if she was okay, and she'd smile and shrug it off after reassuring us she was just fine.
She died that week. Aneurysm.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:46:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry.
I'm sure though that she's happy that her kids are concerned for her. Hope you're doing great.
Woah, my heart just fell after reading that. I cannot imagine something like that happening to my mother. I hope you're doing okay, and your siblings and dad as well. May the stars watch over you (Your mom probably is watching too from up there).
[deleted] ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 21:14:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
BowLit ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:19:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, I know that.
fribby ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:58:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've been getting migraines since I hit adolescence. Bad ones, with varying symptoms including vomiting, blurred vision, numb extremities, memory loss, seeing weird colour streaks (auras), and more. It's not feasible to go to the doctor every time I get one. I just take my medication and ride it out at home.
I can totally see how someone could think they were fine and not know something was actually seriously wrong. It's not the mom's fault, it's not the kids' fault for not realizing, it's just one of those awful things that no one could have predicted.
Took us away when she found out he was abusing us.
Received ridicule from her family because she was a single mother and raised us full time while working full time.
I honestly don't know how she supported all three of us and was able to provide us with food, a house and clothes.
She stayed strong when she had to file bankruptcy and we lost our house.
She just got married to her boyfriend of 7 years last year. For a loose time frame my parents divorced when I was 6 years old and I am 23 years old now.
I honestly don't know how my mom did this. Sometimes I think about all the sacrifices she made and how alone she must've felt when she needed help with us. It makes me cry sometimes.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:34:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like what my mom usually says,
"If mom's not gonna do it for you, who will?"
You have a great mom. I hope you tell her that everyday. :)
I do talk to her frequently during the week. I'm actually going over to her house for dinner tonight :)
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:52:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good to hear!
lola_fox ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:15:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my mom put off telling my sister and me she had cancer. she didn't want us to worry about her during our first year in college. she finally told me 3ish weeks before her major evasive surgery. they removed part of her stomach and esophagus. i moved home immediately to take care of her. i did my next semester at a community college close by so i wouldn't fall behind. i wasnt going to let her recover on her own. she took such good care of us growing up, i couldnt leave her when she needed help the most.
that was 2006/2007. it was a tough recovery, but she made it through. she's doing great now. minus a broken leg... but that's a whole new monster.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:50:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad you were there for your mom when she needed you. Her having made it through made me happy too, minus the broken leg of course.
ademnus ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 16:55:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How many Italian mothers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
"None, never mind, I'll just sit here in the dark like a dog."
Yeah, my mom was more like "Go do (insert chore here)."
She doesn't have the concept in her head that she has to do everything. That concept is kinda unhealthy.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:17:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not all the time though. Only when we have exams in school and are studying. When we turned 15 though we've divided chores between me and my brother at home.
my mom has a bad back, like, really bad and it went out one weekend while i was visting my dad.. she army crawled through mud and rain to do the chores for our animals and I didn't know about it for years. moms are just so bad ass.
Didn't see my mom cry until I was in high school, she was going back through college to become a teacher at almost 50 years old. She was so overwhelmed and she was also going through menopause. I'll never forget the first time I had to comfort my mother (instead of vice versa), it was almost surreal. I'm 25 now and she's pretty much my best friend.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:51:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seeing your mother cry is one of the worst feelings there is. Glad you could be with her for a shoulder to cry on though.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:59:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah you'd think so, but if you've never been in an abusive relationship. Don't talk smack outta your ass.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:19:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:39:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't really know what to say but I hope that you stay strong amidst what you're going through. It's hard but from what I've heard a lot of people can live a normal life even under these circumstances. I'm no doctor but i know people who live normal healthy lives with HIV. I hope you do so too.
My thoughts are with you and your kids.
CRISPR ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:11:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least mine was.
Did you have to really add this? See what you did? Now everybody is weeping.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol sorry. It's just that I know how things could be different with other people's moms you know.
Our family went through a big shakeup that left my stay at home mom with a 12, 9, and 1 year old and no financial support. She always found a way to keep things going but sadly I had to grow up quick to help take care of my younger brother since my older sister was diagnosed with severe bipolar and couldn't help. It was a tough ride and I was a little bitch about it a lot since I was resentful of the responsibility so young but it made me stronger and more capable than my siblings and peers. I also appreciate my mom more.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes they just have too much going on and they need our help. Glad you lent her a hand when she needed it. Hope you're doing well.
My mom was passive aggressive as fuck. If she said "No I'm fine" that meant you better fucking high tail it around and clean everything. Physically wrestle the broom out of her hand. She's pissed and you're about to be grounded.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cooking a feast fit for a king at Christmas on her own as the family is having fun in the other room.
"no, I don't need any help"
never really understood why mum was so tired on christmas night until I got older.
My mum is the shit dog. I swear I'd be nothing without my mum.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm dying of cancer and currently on chemotherapy medication but I'm fine to do these heavy lifting chores. No, my pain isn't unbearable so I don't need any painkillers."
She fought colon cancer for 6 years after being given a prognosis of 1-2 years. She was prescribed strong painkillers but only took them if she was completely incapacitated by the pain, as she preferred being in pain but lucid to painless but unable to think. She was a strong woman. I don't know how she did it.
Go kiss your mom. My mother dragged me INTO her fights with Dad, she'd wake me and rip me out of bed in the middle of the night to scream at me how I'm the cause of her horrible marriage, when dad was gone to work she'd scream and smack me around and make me cry and then make me go hide from dad when he got home (so he wouldn't see my crying and ask why).
On the opposite end of the spectrum, I remember at age 16 crying over my mother as she convulsed on the kitchen floor, and when I begged her to admit she had a problem she responded with a slurred "I'm fine I just wanted to lie down"
Mine definitely isn't the strongest physically, but damn you can push them through hell and back and they'll still put a smile on they're face as you walk by.
My mom is so guilty of this, though she shows that she in the end is always fine.
A few years ago for example she had to get her appendix out and we found out as it was in the process of rupturing. The entire time that they were running tests and everything else trying to figure out what was wrong she was trying to convince everyone that "its just a pulled muscle". A standard recovery time for getting your appendix out is 12 weeks I want to say, and then according to the doctor a lot of people still have trouble moving and such. Not her, she wore jeans and hopped up onto the exam table at the 6 week point and after a bunch of convincing the doctor that she was fine she was back to work the next week.
Another one that she does is she doesn't really get sick, which she honestly doesn't that often. But oh god when she does its like she has the plague or something. Then a whole 3 days later shes fine.
Yeah, my mom would say that, but she'd say it in that derisive sarcastic tone that implies I should just know to cut in and do whatever she's doing for her.
wish my mother was like that. She made every little thing look like the end of the bloody world. As I grew older I became more and more withdrawn, never telling her anything that would sound bad(same with my father), and eventually anything past my lifting routine.
I now realize that I have issues with intimacy because I don't know how to express how I fucking feel.
With all the negativity towards mothers in this thread, this was refreshing to see. Being a mother is very hard work, especially if you're a single one
My mom says these too. Now, I miss her, gotta hug her later.
biopunkk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was having abdominal cramps for a full 8-10 hours once and refused to let my sister take her to get checked out while I was away for a college orientation. 2 hours later I get home and she can barely stand. I took her to urgent care who said to get her to the ER because they didn't have the equipment to determine what was wrong.
So we sit in the ER for six hours, she's in the worst pain I've seen her since she broke her back a decade prior. After the first hour, she was demanding I take her home so she could sleep it off because it was "taking too long" to be seen. She even had me roll the wheel chair up to the front desk to be discharged without telling me that's why she wanted to speak with them. I said "nope" and rolled her right back to her spot.
She planned to "sleep off" a ruptured, gangrenous appendix.
'Oh no, Caillou got cancelled and taken off netflix. How awful.'
Edit: You can keep any show from showing up on your netflix by rating it 0 or 1 stars. This has saved my sanity from many childrens shows. Heres how to do it
edit 2: holy gold, thank you!!
Fulmario ยท 4747 points ยท Posted at 15:37:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was hoping for:
"Oh no, Caillou's cancer returned and there are no more episodes. How awful."
resvzb0a ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:17:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He definitely doesn't have cancer. In the original books, Caillou was young enough to not have any hair. In the TV adaption, they aged him without changing his appearance (much)
Fan theory. Real reason is because he was younger in the books, and hadn't grown hair yet. Then, when they adapted the books into a tv show, they wanted to keep his look the same
I had cancer, and the thought of Caillou having cancer bothers me a bit. It's way too treatable: need something more dire like an aggressive auto immune condition.
altxatu ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:19:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have one of those! Don't lump that little fucker in with us. He's yours.
We check out dvds from the library and if my 4 year old pick out anything that looks like it will really get on my nerves I look at the disk and say "oh no! This one is all scratched up and won't work!"
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:26:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's a whiny little twerp who's entire life is narrated by some raspy voiced grandmother-type that sounds like she had throat cancer. He cries about nearly everything and pouts about the rest. It's excruciating television at it's worst
Super Why is the worst for learning! hey books can teach you things. But we don't trust actual books to teach you so we'll make up new stories to teach what we want to show you. Like The Boy Who Cried Wolf is now about how parents should listen to their children. WTF is that about.
Oh get off it. The gods forbid something educational be fun. Books are one medium, TV is another. They each have their strengths and weaknesses. Simply recommending that a kid watch an educational TV show is not me saying "this is better than books, don't bother with those antique pieces of garbage!" In fact, last time we organized my daughters' bookshelf, I counted 75 books.
If I want to learn another language, exactly how far will a book get me? It can show me grammar, it can show me vocabulary, but is a book going to pronounce the words for me? No. Absent a fluent speaker to help you along the way, you learn by either listening to or watching dialog.
Shame you weren't actually able to learn reading comprehension from all your fun educational experiences. My problem is the dishonesty of saying that books are educational and then not using actual books to educate and instead using made up books taken from real books with real lessons.
You can contact Netflix and request shows not be available on your account.
I'm supposed to contact Netflix every time something comes up that I don't like? Who wants to do that? There are far more lousy children's programs out there than good ones. I should be able to set up a whitelist and have it only show my kid things I've approved. I'll never be done if I have to explicitly say no to everything I don't like.
You could just download the few kid shows you want your kid to watch and use Plex instead of Netflix if there are so few that a whitelist is a better idea than just rating everything 1 to get it to stop showing on the home page.
...but I pay for Netflix, and the artists who made the content (I assume) get some kind of payment for their product when I watch it on Netflix, and then I'm not committing a copyright violation. Besides, I'm not even sure where I'd find torrents of Lily's Driftwood Bay, Octonauts, or Justin Time...
You can also very easily buy these DVDs/Blurays and rips them yourselves. I also guarantee you that the producers of the shows get more from digital/physical purchases than from streaming, if that's something you actually care about.
Or just easily and simply rate everything you don't want showing up on your netflix homepage 1 star.
...right, but why would I pay for the content again (at over $1 per episode!) when I'm already paying for it? I don't care whether the producers get paid more one way or another- if they made a shitty deal with Netflix, that's their problem. But I do care that I am not violating copyright law.
Or just easily and simply rate everything you don't want showing up on your netflix homepage 1 star
You seem to have missed the point of my original comment, which is that there is such a mountain of shit children's programming, I'd be rating 1 star for weeks. A problem which could easily be solved by a whitelist for children's accounts, and which would solve a lot of other problems with Netflix.
The granularity of control on Netflix is abysmal- for children your choice is between "Shows for Little Kids Only", which invariably excludes stuff you're okay with that your kid wants to see, or "Shows for Older Kids and Below", which invariably includes a lot of stuff you don't want. Beyond that you just have the star system.
I'm bitching about Netflix, which I'd be subscribing to for original adult-oriented content regardless, not getting their shit together with the kids' stuff. Suggesting I either pirate the content or pay (a lot more) for it again is not helpful.
Dude... you're the one complaining about this shit, I just provided you with options. I don't work at Netflix, I can't implement a whitelist system into Netflix, all anyone here can do is converse about available options, which is what I have done. I'm sorry that isn't helpful enough for you bud.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:39:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm ashamed to say I watched it as a kid...
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:22:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's no shame to be had, it wasn't as bad back then. When all the hate started spreading I was legitimately confused. Went to watch it and was shocked at the newer episodes. It either got worse over time or I ignored his whining when I was younger
That bald little shit is the whiniest little brat ever, and worse yet, his parents just kind of roll over to his demands. Kind of sets a bad example for kids.
Horrid Henry is probably worse. The fucker would do something that ruins his brother's life and when he's found out his parents would just be like 'don't be so horrid, Henry.' And that's that.
I wonder how a version of Horrid Henry would be handled if Henry was 18 and did drugs and shit.
Every time I remember the fucker's existence, I can't help but realise how much worse that'd be
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:11:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Horrid Henry is a show seemingly deliberately made to breed an entire generation of awful, asshole children. Horrid Henry celebrates the awfulness of the main character - it's probably the kid's show with the worst attitude out there.
Thanks, do you know if there are any other good shows for my almost 3yr old toddler to watch? We are not native English speakers and she is just catching up with English, the language in Caillou is easy for her to understand although she only watches a few short episodes that are there on YouTube.
I like it, but I don't feel like it is teaching my child anything useful at that age. All five of my kids were obsessed with her though, and I will take Dora over many other shows. I would rather my kids learn counting or spelling than a few spanish words.
Daniel Tiger is fantastic. We actually use the songs he sings in the show and it legit helps with my two toddlers.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:59:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, I have a legit Daniel Tiger story also. I was babysitting my niece when my sister had a c-section with her second child. Her husband was staying overnight with her because she was in a lot of pain and didn't want to be alone.
Anyway, my niece went to visit the baby, and she thought that she was going to get to stay at the hospital too. Nobody told her this - she made it up in her own head. I found out that she thought this after we left when I asked her, "Do you want In-N-Out or Chik-fil-A?" She said, "I want In-N-Out; we can take some back to mama and eat it at the hopsital" (that's how she said "hospital"). When I told her that we weren't going to the hospital, she started bawling. She wasn't throwing a tantrum though - she was just thoroughly devastated. This was going to be the second night they stayed at the hospital, and she hadn't been away from her parents for that long in her life. It started to die down a bit over time, but she still sobbed quietly to herself as she ate her dinner, and it was hard to get her excited about anything that would invariably excite her in normal circumstances. Again, she wasn't being a brat - she tried to engage, but she just couldn't take that her parents were not coming home again.
So I broke the TV rules of the house and streamed an episode of Daniel Tiger available on PBS's website. And what do you know? The one that comes on is the "Grown Ups Come Back" episode, where Daniel Tiger is sad because his parents are gone for the night while Prince Tuesday babysits. It made her feel immensely better when I tied it to her situation. Shortly after the episode ended, while we were reading bedtime stories, Mom and Dad finally Facetimed us. When I told my sister to guess what episode of Daniel Tiger came on, she sang the song from the episode, "Gro-own-ups come back," and my niece fell right asleep at the end of the call.
The songs are great because they are short and sweet - very easy for toddlers to remember. Thanks, Daniel Tiger!
My toddlers watched both the grown ups come back episode and the going to school episode before they started preschool and when I go pick them up at the end of the day, my daughter gets super excited and says, "Mommy! Mommy! My Mommy always comes back." It's so freaking cute.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:26:24 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's adorable! It goes to show how much kids will take in from people and things they admire. This is why Daniel Tiger is awesome, but Caillou sucks.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Puffin Island is great because of the Irish accents.
My 3 year old can not get enough of Peppa Pig. It is basically a family doing mundane things, but they are pigs, so my kids love it.
Rescue Bots is the transformers franchise for younger children. My BFF's two year old loves watching it with me and there are enough adult in jokes to keep me laughing.
Octonauts is fun. My daughter knows more about sea creatures than I do. And it's not just fish and whales, they have episodes about tardigrades and siphonophores.
im nust gonna support the others suggestions of daniel tiger, I watch it with my baby niece and it might be the best kids show out at the moment. Also mr rogers if you dont mind an older show
Another recommendation for Daniel Tiger but also check out Peep's Big Wide World. About a chick called Peep, a bird called Chirp, and a duckling called Quack who learn about stuff around them. Sounds mundane but it was one of my husband and my favorites. Also completely blew my mind when my son who was 2.5 years old told me the mirror was just a copy of yourself (which he learned from an episode).
Wonder pets makes me want to throw my tv through a window as does Kipper.
He's a fucking piece of shit hellspawn that promotes shitty behavior out of children.
The parents are completely incompetent and roll over to the bald headed turd every episode. He literally teaches children to behave poorly and he is the bane of good parents everywhere.
Caillou is a massively unpopular show among parents, but among kids it's weirdly popular. I'm not too sure why because everyone I've ever met that works with kids or has them despises that show.
I teach Kindergarten in a foreign language, and the library has a few Caillou DVD's in the target language. The language is easy enough for the kids to get the idea of what is going on while they eat a snack in the afternoon.
I have learned to not have them watch Caillou anymore, because the next few days are filled with the kids whining about everything to see if they can get their way like Caillou. It's super annoying.
Not just Reddit, the internet generally agrees that it is a mediocre kids show (writing, animation) and provides plenty of examples of poor behavior for the kiddos to emulate
Why is every mention of Caillou I see on Reddit just saying it's bad?
I don't remember anything about the show, but I've been told I liked it despite not understanding it.
syriquez ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 16:32:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a bad show that encourages children to whine and complain until they get what they want and never expect or accept consequences for bad behavior.
Elmo might be annoying but at least Sesame Street has plenty of redeeming value in spite of that little red bastard.
altxatu ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:21:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SS tries to teach kids, and is very aware of how its show might effect the little ones. They're trying even if the show gets tiresome. I just hate calliou. Fuck that little shit and fuck whomever made him.
That's true. Elmo might be pretty annoying at times, but at least he's not an asshole. I'm hard pressed to think of times when Elmo actually did anything intentionally irritating; it's mostly just the voice and how often he appears. Caillou just exists to cause pain, like his parents are in hell and he is their personal demon.
My personal experience that lines up with what everyone is saying. My son and I were on a morning walk after watching a couple shows after breakfast. He was probably 3-4 or so years old. We are having a nice time and all of a sudden he starts playing this game where he wants to rhyme objects he sees with words he knows. But the game is just him looking at abject and immediately freaking out, which is very far out of his nature. I finally get him to explain the problem is, he tells me that he is trying to come up with rhymes and he can't do it. I offer some solutions to figure out rhymes so we can work it out together and have fun. Normally this wouldn't have been a problem in the first place, but if it was, we would have easily worked through it. But not this day, he was just hell bent on freaking out, it was as if the game was to drive himself hysterical over and over again. I was so confused, we did this walk every day at this time without issue, he's not tired, hungry, sick, and this is just not like him. Then it clicked, he had been watching Caillou earlier and this was exactly how the episode played out. Rhyming game on a walk, Caillou can't do it, Caillou is inconsolable, Caillou is a prick to everyone, Caillou ultimately gets his way after being a dick. I called my son out on his mirroring behavior, told him to knock it off and that was the last time that little shit Caillou was watched in my house.
Edit: changed can to can't
r3djak ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:12:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why, but I loved this story.
I remember being really young when Caillou first arrived, and I hated that bald little bitch from the first preview I saw. He was just such a little BITCH about everything! He was the embodiment of the bratty neighbors, that shithead kid who sends everyone home if he's not player 1, etc. He's just a bitch.
Your description of him being a prick made me laugh. I'm not sure I ever watched an episode, but I kind of feel glad I didn't give the show a chance now.
Because Caillou is a whiney brat who teaches the kids to be whiney brats. His voice is awful too.
Literally every few minutes it BUT MOOOOoooooOOOOMMMM and then Caillou gets his way which is NOT something I want my nanny kids or future children to pick up
Duese ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:30:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am thoroughly convinced that this show is actually targeted towards the parents to show them exactly what happens when a parent sucks at being a parent.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:26:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Nah, it's just an example of a shitty Canadian cartoon. Does anything good come out of that country? /s
As a Canadian: plenty of stuff, but yeah, virtually all of our TV showscartoons suck (EDIT: I stand thoroughly corrected - see replies). But Canadian networks are legally required to have a certain percentage of their programming be Canadian, so we're stuck with it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't you guys make Trailer Park Boys? I have been enjoying watching that!
Good god, I thought I was the only one. I freakin' hated Caillou so much. Caillou and that horrible Sid the Science Kid, voiced by really bad adult actors. Shudder. Thankfully, all I need to deal with now is Katy Perry and Meghan Trainor. Oh wait . . .
No, just no. The Youtube Kids app makes me wish that the Second Amendment covered thermonuclear weapons. There are a couple of video posters who would be responsible for their home states being turned into a smoking field of radioactive glass. Or, at least, I just wish I could block certain channels (6 of one...).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Peppa Pig is right up there with Caillou for me. Its not as bad, but good god does Papa Pig give me the creeps. Papa Pigs name should really be Pedo Pig.
Somehow my kids came across this show called Crayon Crew. It is the dumbest show in the world, but they keep wanting to watch it. That and Animal Mechanicals. I'm happy to know how to banish them.
Bozhe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Edit: You can keep any show from showing up on your netflix by rating it 0 or 1 stars
Wait, seriously? When did this happen? I rated some terrible shows to try and get them hidden, but they kept popping up. Stopped rating things years ago because of it.
I read a comment somewhere once from someone whose husband worked on Caillou, and she said all the people working on the show hate Caillou too and would sing the theme song with altered lyrics.
Edit: You can keep any show from showing up on your netflix by rating it 0 or 1 stars. This has saved my sanity from many childrens shows. Heres how to do it
I love you.
Sunlit5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy crap, my son was devastated when one of his shows went away. Just checked, he had accidentally given it a low rating. He's going going to be so happy to see that it's not actually gone! Thx!
I rated every trailer park boys show on my roommates Netflix (which was logged in on the living room tv) a 0, because I hated the show and he always had full control the TV.
I'm doing this to Caillou now before my daughter ever gets a chance to see him. This past year, waiting in pediatrician offices has been very enlightening.
fucking Caillou. This is the worst kids show ever. That little piece of shit just whines every god damn episode. We stopped my kid from watching it because she started to whine like that little bitch. Thank you for showing a way to make sure it never shows again!
That little shit's voice is like what I imagine the sound Banshee would make if you ran the noise of nail on a chalkboard through a bullhorn directly into their ears.
Addiction is a medical condition characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli, despite adverse consequences.[8]
Is it compulsive, meaning you do it out of habit or necessity? Does the compulsion interfere with your daily life? Has that interference harmed you in any way? Can you, realistically, stop the behavior? Not, "I could stop if I wanted to", but "I could stop even if I didn't want to". If you answered yes to more than one of those questions, or no to the last question*, you should probably speak with a counselor about it.
For the stopping part, how much is this worth when there's no reasonable reason to stop? When it doesn't interfere with life, does not cost money or (much) time? If you can stop when it is needed, yet have absolutely no reason to?
I think it's important to be able to stop even if you don't think there's a reason to. One of the problems, and major sources of harm, that comes from addiction is your loss of control of your behavior. Addiction doesn't happen overnight. It's really easy, for some people not everyone, to fall into a sense of comfort with a similar thought process that you brought up.
You have to honestly answer the question, do I have the ability and will power to stop this behavior for as long as needed? Be it a week, a month, a year, the rest of your life? I know that sounds a bit extreme, but people who suffer from serious addictions and get control over them have to have the will power to stay away from alcohol, or tobacco, or gambling, or heroin, or masturbation, for the rest of their lives or risk a total breakdown of their lives.
So, for something like masturbation... If it's something that you do regularly, which most people do, are you able to stop when it's inappropriate? Could you decide to stop even if it's not inappropriate? Even if it doesn't harm you now, if it did or could harm you in the future, would you be able to stop doing it today?
In some sense, it's the most important question to ask yourself.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It probably has nothing to do with masturbating a lot. Were you a heavy drinker in your 20's? That can lead to early erectile dysfunction.
Just putting this out there for others in simular situations. /r/nofap.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:42:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Fresh_C ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:03:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you're really addicted to something, it's hard to do it moderately.
Some people definitely can, but for most it's easier to stop completely than it is to try and keep fine control of how much you do it. That's why you rarely see former alcoholics drinking.
I don't know if Sex Addiction/excesive masturbating works the same way for people who have the issue. But an argument can certainly be made that it makes sense to cut out the behavior entirely if it's threatening to ruin your life.
Note: I'm not talking about people who just "masturbate a lot". I'm talking about people who spend so much time masturbating or engaging in other sexual behaviors that it significantly interferes with their family/job/relationships.
So you want someone in your position to do nothing about the situation they're in? There's a reason AA exists, alcohol in moderation isn't a bad thing, but some people can't help themselves and need a group to support them.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:47:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:40:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
With my mother, it was more when really young boys like to tug on it/have hands on it all the time. Her other favourite was 'a bird will fly down and peck it off'. My brother wasn't really at an age where masturbation was an issue at the time.
I've got two small boys now myself and try to limit it to 'hands off your penis, it's not polite in company' or similar because I'm pretty sure my brother was convinced his cock was going to drop off if he touched it too much
My dad said something similar except the little diversion was, "If you keep poking your bellybutton, your butt will fall off." I got mad when I tried to make that happen and it didn't, which made my dad not say anything like that again because I made him out to be a liar.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:49:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is how we end up with adults with abysmal sexual education. It's sad, too, because the solution is super easy and productive: educate folks with scientifically backed information! But instead, we end up with 21 year-olds that think you impregnate a woman by peeing on her ยฏ\(ใ)/ยฏ
A previous bf of mine started having really terrible chest pains last year (which were super mysterious because he's thin, late 20s, and doesn't smoke or drink). When he got some sort of internal scanning to diagnose, the physician made sure to point out that his liver was flawless.
But this is true. Or, at least, beauty is complex and intensely subjective.
People you're genetically compatible with look hotter. People who remind you of people you like look hotter. People with charisma look hotter. People with good posture look hotter. People who project values that align with yours look hotter. People who fit the ideals of your current culture look hotter. Even just Peele you've known for a while begin to look more beautiful.
People you hate look hideous. Exes you used to love turn ugly as time goes by. The solid 10 at the office seems to get uglier every day you have to listen to their shit in meetings. The face of your high school bully makes you feel sick. People who only look a little tiny bit like them are ugly to you.
You look like a total knockout when you look at yourself on a positive day. You look like a gargoyle in the mirror on a negative day. And people who look for flaws see an uglier universe than people who look for beauty.
Duh, this is why guys are always trying to get inside you. They want to #feel all that that beauty.
sarcazm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:45:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Growing up, I was a little pudgy. When I was in elementary school, I was average weight, but I had a "tummy" if you know what I mean. I asked my mom one day when my tummy would go away (because I had heard that young kids have tummies). She said in 6th grade. Well, I guess she thought that by that time, I would forget about this conversation. Well, I didn't. And I was pretty upset when I got to 6th grade and I was still "fat."
Playing Pokemon on my Gameboy color and mom comes into the room at 10:30 P.M.
"Your gameboy is broken I'm going to take it to get fixed"
"But mom it's working just fine, I'm playing it RIGHT this minute"
"LISTEN! I SAID I NEED TO TAKE IT IN TO GET IT FIXED RIGHT THIS INSTANT. I JUST HEARD ON THE NEWS THEY CAN EXPLODE AND THAT'S WHY THE FUCKING BATTERIES KEEP DYING!!!"
"Mom I never heard that ever about gameboys"
Snatches it out of my hand and leaves me crying while she goes to trade it for drugs.
Alternatively when I would go see my aunt she would ALWAYS give me 100 bucks or more. So I had this wall unit in my bedroom and I put a lock in one if the doors where I would like my money and other things away.
Come home from school and
"...Mom what the heck happened to my lock on my wall unit"
"Our house was broken into and we were robbed"
At this time we had a lot of expensive fancy crap in the house. Big screen tvs and the like.
"But nothing else was taken..... they broke into the house, went straight for my room and broke the lock and took only MY money?"
"...................yes......"
Those were common lies told to me by my mother.
Edit: I had no idea this would receive the attention it did. Just wanted to let everyone know, I am doing much better now. I left home at 16 and I will be 29 next week. I have 2 kids of my own and own a house on 3 acres of land. I am hardly rich by any means(No college will screw you hard out of jobs these days, so STAY IN SCHOOL KIDS, I'm broke as shit, lol), but I am happy and I think that's all that matters.
Edit 1(a): There has been some confusion as to weather or not I've gone to college. I haven't gone to college, and what I was trying to say was having no college education CAN screw you out of a lot of jobs these days. I know this because I have been turned down from many jobs for simply not having a college degree, even if the job didn't require it. So STAY in school and if the opportunity presents its self then go to college by all means.
1(b) My house was cheap because its in the boonies, but I a still proud that I was able to accomplish something such as buying a house after the life I've lead in the past. I am proud of my house and I don't care that it's not a million dollar McMansion in the city. I was born and raised in the city and frankly I've had enough of it.
Edit 2: I've tried to respond to everyone who commented wishing me well and what not, If I missed anyone I am sorry.
Edit3: In case anyone is wondering, The gameboy thefts were in the later years of her addiction after all the fancy shit was sold. But when she stole my money it was because it was easier to steal my money and pick up drugs right away than to try and find someone who wanted to buy a pure marble dining room table or some other funky shit we had. We only had the really fancy stuff for about 2 or 3 years. I explained in another comment how she obtained those things by the way,she worked for her boyfriends moms magazine selling ads. but instead of taking payment in cheques form she would take product. Because she wouldn't be able to cash cheques written out to the magazine.
I always take for granted the very fact that I have stable, healthy parents. I feel for you, even if I can't really understand what that must have been like.
Meh, you get used to it I guess. I happened with everything good we owned, computers, nintendos, segas, bikes, anything of value really. So it was a common occourence. Every 4-8 months or so she would try and make it up I guess and buy me a new(used) console but it would only be around till she lost her next job or something(which was never long, maybe 6 months) and then it would be back to nothing. because she would have sold it again.
Thankfully shes mostly gone out of my life now.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 18:55:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously I don't even know how to relate to this. My parents where and always have been like winning the lottery. I honestly feel like I was given some kind of prize at birth.
Donuil23 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:14:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. Like mine weren't perfect, maybe I could have used a bit more pushing in High School, but they always loved me, were always fair, and love the shit out of my kids.
Well a few of his posts have a single bolded letter. I've pieced them together and they say "Help. They keep me trapped in the basement and they're watching me right now."
EDIT: NONE OF THIS IS TRUE AND HE HAS WONDERFUL PARENTS.
Yeah, my parents lied to me, but it was pretty tame compared to some of the headfucking shit I've heard in my life. What screws with me is that people stick with shitty parents too.
I left as soon as I legally could. You can leave home at 16 in Ontario. Or at least you could when I turned 16
bossmt_2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:19:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WHich I mean I can get. I had a semi-rough relationship growing up with my parents because they pushed us. Both of my parents came from working class families. My dad's parents factory workers and my mom's farmers. They pushed us because they wanted us to have it better than they did and keep on passing it along. In that regard they did pretty well. Unlike many parents these days they have no kids living at home. Not because they woudln't take us in if we needed it, but because they instilled on us the importance of self sufficiency and independence. They've got kids of all levels of success as far as adulting goes, but I think the thing they're probably most proud of is that all of us still love each other. COrny as that may be, I think they know the struggles of having siblings all stay close and of having kids still love their parents.
ignezio ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 18:01:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey sounds like we had the same mom. Mine would often buy drugs instead of food for me and that would lead to constant days without eating 4 is the longest I can remember. We also lost our home but before we did she sold everything bought a SHIT TON OF DRUGS and then we slept in our car for 2 years . Ahhhhh how I wish she would have died and not my dad but oh well
phd_dude ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:22:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No shit. I know all about not eating or rarely eating because there was nothing to eat. Or if there was little it went to my brother and sister as they were younger. I got a real taste for sugar on toast, and rainbow sprinkles on toast though as a kid. Those were good mornings lol.
We moved around a SHIT TON. Probably about 25 + times by the time I left home at 16, so that's almost twice a year. I can't even remember how many schools I have been too in my life, so needless to say I never had many friends growing up.
Spent alot of time in hotel rooms too(dunn how she ever had the money for them, but alot of the stuff we did have like fancy furniture, the Porsche, and other cars, she got because the asshole she was with(another piece of shit all together) his mother published her own magazine and so my mom and this asshole would go around selling ads in the magazine but instead of paying for them, they would take trades for product and the like which would than be sold or kept for awhile. Needless to say the magazine didn't last too long(at least 5 years though because the mother had quite a bit of cash from other things in her life)
And like you, I wish my dad was still around rather than her. But they actually both got cancer at the same time(though they were divorced) but she survived and he didn't. But as a friend of mine always said "The good die young, but evil? Evil never dies!"
But she's mostly gone out of my life now, and I am much better for it.Hope you're doing alright too. You ever want to talk or something feel free to shoot me a message.
ignezio ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:27:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Lol I actually think we lived the same life my I was always making 'French toast' with just sugar and bread or mayo sandwiches I lived in several hotels thought my life and would often sleep on the floor. I've been to I think 16 schools in totals and have moved anywhere around 30 times if I'm counting the hotels if not around 19. I also left home at 16 and I'm currents attending college. My mother ALSO ran into a bit of cash after my dads death (about 100k) and blew all of it in a month. She rented this fancy ass house but couldn't pay the water or gas bill so we lived in the dark and then we moved back into a hotel. Typing this reminded me how much I hate my mother lol
Edit: I remember when I first moved into another house hold and opening up the frig and finding all this food I couldn't comprehend it at the time because living day to day was normal to me . I actually thought everyone lived off mayo sandwiches. You never fully realize how depressing everything is until you live a "normal life"
But wasn't sugar on toast the fucking greatest? Lol. I never ate mayo sandwiches because I hate mayo, I was a peanut butter kid. I would honestly go through a whole loaf of bread in a day with peanut butter sandwiches when it was there lmao. But back then bread was like 85 cents a loaf so it was easy enough to get. Nowadays where I live its like $3.60 Canadian regular priced.$2.00 on sale. It sucks, but thank fuck I can afford it these days lol.
I haven't gone to college yet but I do plan to possibly go soon if my other goals don't pan out. But I still need to finish high school, I have a hard time with math and writing essays. Tried the GED but couldn't get it. So I think I need some adult classes or something. I'll get er figured out soon though:)
I remember living in the dark quite a few times. I was told it was because she hated the downstairs neighbors and so she did it on purpose to get them to move out... except we went like that for months. I remember having to keep the milk out back in a cooler and having it be frozen from the cold weather mixed with the ice in the cooler(Fall/Winter). I also remember I knew it was time to start packing when the landlord would come by and mom and her boyfriend would get into an argument with the landlord for whatever reason (most likely nonpayment of rent but there was ALWAYS an argument) and it we would go that day or the next to collect boxes to pack. Or one time I came home from school and the locks were changed and she came to pick us up and it was off to the hotel. I actually used to like the hotels though because they usually had a pool where I would go down and swim for hours with bro and sister while her and her asshole would be up in the room. Couldn't do that now( I would't even imagine leaving my 8 year old child near a pool by herself let alone IN IT.)
But yeah when my friends (when I had them) would be able to ask their parents for like ten bucks to go to the store, or ask if we could rent a movie when I slept over, it made me feel sad because I could never do that shit. I NEVER had a friend ever sleep over until I was in grade 5 or 6, and even then, mom came home SHITFACED that night and embarrassed me so much, oh and also his mom wouldn't let him come over again because she left us alone which actually was anther strange concept because I had been left home alone since I was 5 or 6 years old, so when My friends told me they had to go EVERYWHERE with their parents because they couldn't stay home I thought that was the weirdest thing.
Shit man I never expected this post to blow up like it did, but people telling me their own stories keep jogging my memory. Ah well, least that's all it is, a distant memory. Glad your doing well for yourself. Keep up with that college.
You got a career goal in mind or just doing it for the education?
ignezio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:12:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yo I feel you I remember not having water for a week straight and then my hair got super greezy and I got ridiculed at school and then I broke into a house and stole some cold water so I could wash my hair. But FUCK YEAH SUGAR TOAST WAS THE SHIT but my person favorite was rice butter and sugar that was my shit honestly. But yeah living without water or gas sucked I remember that one time all that I ate for a week was eggs and once time I took a Swiss Army knife and I spend like 30 minutes sawing throw a lock that the energy company put on the pipe so I could have some food.
Also that I would ask my mom for a couple of dollars and she would call me ungrateful and that the movies was rare I later turned to crime and would break into people house just so I could steal the food I never actually stole anything valuable besides some mayo and break because mayo sandwiches are this shit IMO
0OOOOOO0 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:33:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, that's fucked up
ignezio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:15:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly in the mind of the victim it's not that bad I mean if it happens at a young age thAn t just becomes something that you think is normal.
IE when I was living in a hotel I thought everyone ate hot n spicy mc chicken every fucking day. Lol I hate my mom
Oh shit man I know what you mean. I was never encouraged to do much other then t be out of her hair. I didn't get into a shitload of trouble as a kid(surprisingly) but I had a hell of a hard time with school since grade 3. I could never do my homework. Never had help with school projects( god forbid we had to buy any supplies for a project it would be "If the school wants you to do it the school can pay for it so fuck them assholes".
She also told me once "Why the fuck would I have bothered to save money for you to go to college? No one in our family goes and I knew you wouldn't make it through high school anyway."
Thanks for the kind words mom.
Although one thing she used to do was when we were watching TV she would come out of the bedroom and wlk right infront of the tv and stand there staring off into space while either turning the tv all the way down or turning it off, because she was too paranoid and was listening for shit. I HATED THAT and never knew why she did it until I unfortunately got into the same drugs myself(Thanks again mom.) She introduced me to the hard stuff when I was 14 after finding out I had tried pot a few times . Peer pressure and all that mixed with the anxiety and my desire to fit in, I thought it would be cool. Also there was always random strangers at our place too. Her fucking friends husband beat on me a couple of times too when I made his son cry. What fun.
But I am doing much better now, and like you I have A LOT of catching up to do. If you don't already have one, Nintendo 3ds Is fucking awesome and you can play pokemon red,blue,yellow on the virtual console, while remakes of Silver and gold can be had as DS games, which are hard but not impossible to find. I am currently playing through Red again after beating Y recently. I have heartgold and Platinum so I am just missing Pokemon white I believe and Alpha Saphire(Daughter has black and Omega Ruby)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:14:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm kind of glad that I don't remember much of my childhood, but my girlfriend always gets sad whenever I do remember and bring up some memory from my childhood, because most of the time its a good memory followed soon after by a bad one (Like, I got this really cool toy for Christmas but a week later it was gone. This one really happened as well, she told me the toy was recalled but I looked it up last week actually when I remembered it and didn't find any info about it being recalled.) Seems the only memories of my childhood I do remember well are bad ones. Although there are quite a few good memories I do have playing with friends or being with my friends families, but in terms of memories of my family? there wasn't much fun there.
My mom was weird with my sex life too, always wanting to know about who i was with and how they were, or ask them how I was and shit which obviously is really fucking creepy in its self. Needless to say these days I don't have much of a sexual appetite often. It comes and goes, sometimes I will be like a jackrabbit and other times it'll be six months before I can get in the mood. Obviously as you can tell it causes some strain on my relationship.
Honestly don't be bothered by not having had a relationship. When the time is right I'm sure you'll find you want one and you'll find someone to be with. Also in some ways you're probably not missing much lol.
Be glad you never turned to drugs, though |I know about emotional eating as my girlfriend suffered it wwhen her dad died and suffers it still sometimes. In a way its very similar to drugs, in that you feel you NEED to have it every time something happens. "Got a job? Yay celebrate with drugs/food" "Got dumped? better cheer yourself up with drugs/food" and it can be a bitch. I hope you've been able to get better yourself. As for myself, I can drink. I did have a bit of a problem for awhile where I was drinking every damn chance I could, and i would drink till 2 am and wake up at 5 am for work. It was bad. But I stopped for almost a year and now I can drink a few and quit, or have a night of drinking and then not touch it for another couple of weeks. The odd time after a long day of work ill have 2 or 3 beers on a very hot day, but I don't force myself to stay up drinking and I don't buy booze every time I pass the liquor store anymore. I believe I am able to manage it but not everyone can unfortunately. But it could be due to the meds I am on as well which help me feel better about myself so therefore lessen my want/need to have a drink?
But yes my daughter plays pokemon. I kinda forced it upon her. She had a ds and I had a 3ds and I told her if she wanted a 3ds she would have to save up( I had just bought her the ds for Christmas) so what I did was I bought her DSI off her for 40 bucks. Bought her Original DS( The very first one with a dim screen and scratched screen) because I wanted them for my collection. than when she had about 150 saved I took her to Eb games and said I would pay the difference, but after what I had already paid her for her ds's and the price of a new unit at the time I think I paid more than she did lol, but then |I was like You need to try pokemon, I used to LOVE IT and bought her Black. She did get hooked and and than got X after I got my Y and she beat it before me! Lol Yes I didn't much like the story in Y myself. But I am looking forward to Sun Moon. I think I am going to get Moon and get her Sun. But I don't know for sure yet.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's all good man, I mostly said it in a joking way because they WERE common lies I was told by my mother. But shes mostly out of my life now and I have a family of my own.
loogie97 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:38:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry. No one should have to go though that.
Pain pills? Ive seen perfectly rational well intentioned human beings wrench their backs to become something they never would have been otherwise.
No, Crack. But she got me hooked on it myself when I was 14( I mean yeah I had a choice but she made it seem cool and like it was hard to get addicted, so when your own mother tells you that, you kind of would like to believe them right?) and I've suffered over the years with addictions myself, but I'm much better now and yeah I know all about what people can and will do for drugs in some circumstances.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:25:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's really surreal, having someone tell a story like yours. Because that's really sad, and here I am picturing that someone had to go through that. While I'm sitting here with a loving and chill mom. Idk that really sucks, glad that your life is better.
Honestly, the stories of my life sound so unbelievable to even myself sometimes, so I mostly try not to tell them on the internet for fear of being called a liar.
An example is like, Mom and dad were divorced but got cancer around the same time. Mom survived but dad didn't, however my grandparents were on there way down to visit him on his deathbed when they were involved in an accident which killed my grandmother 8 hours before my dad died. My grandfather lived a few months longer.
I mean I have a hard time believing it myself sometimes.
But if it's any consolation, I really like my mother in law and have great talks and laughs with her and can talk to her for hours sometimes.(I'm a dude by the way so that may sound a bit weird but its true lol)
Well aside from the drugs shes a narcissistic self serving bitch who doesn't work and leaches off EVERYONE. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have had her come and move in to a place I lived in with my girlfriend and daughter and just leach off of us. I mean I'm all about family first and shit but come on... Your kids are NOT supposed to be taking care of you until you grow old and unable to go anything for yourself.
Needless to say, shes been the reason a few of my relationships failed. but shes mostly gone from my life now, shes leaching off my grandfather now, and while I tried to help him, hes too scared of her to admit shes taking him for everything he has.
I've been there a few times but mostly I just got angry that people could actually be that way to their kids and it reminded me a lot of my childhood which I didn't care much for. But I'll subscribe and maybe I'll come across something that might be healing for me.
Cheers:)
Vanetia ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:49:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. My mom was/still is an alcoholic. She took my money, too. She wasn't able to come up with any lies, though. Or didn't care to because she felt entitled to my money since she owns me as the parent. She'd just say she would pay me back and then didn't
I learned to keep any belongings I cared about at my dad's house.
Oh in the later years she stopped making up lies and was the same way. I am sorry you had to go through that as well. Hope you're doing ok?
I just tried to not keep anything I cared about. Only one thing i lost that I really care about is a ring that my aunt gave me after my grandfather died. It belonged to him. She says one of her friends must have gone into my room to take it but I had it hidden and she knew where it was so...
Never did see that ring again though and I still hurt about it. But nothing I can do.
Vanetia ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:25:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doing very well. I cut her out completely a couple years ago now and the level of stress in my life dramatically dropped.
I really wish I could cut her out completely, but I tried and she took me to court for visitation of my daughter( Well she actually wanted full custody but I wasn't about to allow that) and despite me telling the judge how she is as a person, the judge felt I should try and maintain a relationship with her because as the judge said "If you don't have a good relationship with your mother than your daughter won't have a good relationship with you."
I thought to myself "Yeah except I'll never put my daughter through what I went through".
So I agreed she could see her every other weekend for a few hours and that was it. But even in doing that my stress levels have dropped as well. As my lawyer said herself "Your mom seems to be the type of person who just loves to create drama everywhere she goes".
Vanetia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:16:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought to myself "Yeah except I'll never put my daughter through what I went through".
I'm not sure I could have kept my mouth shut. That is infuriating.
Sorry you're stuck dealing with her. At least it's on a much more limited basis.
Trust me it took everything in my power to bite my tongue because if I said something like that in the court room then I may have looked like the asshole my mother was trying to present me as and didn't want to do ANYTHING to screw that up and let her win.
It's pretty shitty when you have to hide your money as a kid. Getting told repeatedly "you must have misplaced it" when you knew it was stolen was infuriating.
nyvz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:37:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in my 20s and still suspecting my mom of taking my giant bag of change. And she still thinks that I don't know she used all mine and my siblings' college funds for when she was on drugs and remodeled the house we gave up on.
It's very sad isn't it. I have met many folk who had similar lives as mine. It shouldn't be like that. When I left home I tried reporting her to CPS to save my brother and sister, but they went and investigated but lucky for that bitch, my uncle had JUST taken her out grocery shopping 2 days before( he would do this for us every couple months because mom never bought shit for the house) and so they seen the food in the house and the house was clean( we always had a clean house, so I guess that's one positive thing? Yay?) and just figured I was making shit up because I didn't want to live at home.
But I am doing much better now, My brother and sister survived(how I don't know) although they don't see the way she is "Narsisstic leach who wont do anything for herself and relies on everyone else to supply her with food shelter and money" so they still keep in touch with her, I actually avoid contacting her as much as possible, and in doing so she made ME out to be the bad guy so I don't talk to them now either unfortunately.
But I have a family of my own now and am much happier.
It's very sad isn't it. I have met many folk who had similar lives as mine. It shouldn't be like that. When I left home I tried reporting her to CPS to save my brother and sister, but they went and investigated but lucky for that bitch, my uncle had JUST taken her out grocery shopping 2 days before( he would do this for us every couple months because mom never bought shit for the house) and so they seen the food in the house and the house was clean( we always had a clean house, so I guess that's one positive thing? Yay?) and just figured I was making shit up because I didn't want to live at home.
But I am doing much better now, My brother and sister survived(how I don't know) although they don't see the way she is "Narsisstic leach who wont do anything for herself and relies on everyone else to supply her with food shelter and money" so they still keep in touch with her, I actually avoid contacting her as much as possible, and in doing so she made ME out to be the bad guy so I don't talk to them now either unfortunately.
But I have a family of my own now and am much happier.
Thanks, Its all good now. She's out of my life for the most part now and I rarely have to deal with her shit anymore and I have a family of my own now.
I didn't really mean to upset anyone by telling them though, they were just common lies told by my mom and I guess half jokingly I was just trying to keep with the thread. Honestly didn't think it would blow up like this.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:34:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry I made you cry, if its any consolation, I am doing much better now have a family of my own with 2 kids and shes gone out of my life for the most part.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No you're perfectly fine. It just made me emotional. I'm glad you're okay now
Lmao I would have but she didn't have nice things. The only thing of value she had was MY computer which I got from some sort of school program thing for poor kids or something. She took it and set it up in her room because my cousin introduced her to yahoo chatting and webcams and shit and she met many many guys off of the internet. So one day I got pissed about it and smashed the hell out of the keyboard, but she made me buy a new one. It was INFURIATING
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry that happened to you. Hope all is better now though. I didn't bother much with work because I knew where my money would go anyway so it wasn't worth the bother at the time. But in high school I babysat but put the money right in my bank account so she couldn't touch it. Though she did steal the card once and called me asking what the pin was because she ran out of gas. Next thing I knew I was missing 100 bucks.
The gameboy thefts were in the later years of her addiction after all the fancy shit was sold. But when she stole my money it was because it was easier to steal my money and pick up drugs than to try and find someone who wanted to buy a pure marble dining room table. Or some funky statues we had. We only had the really fancy stuff for about 2 or 3 years. I explained in another comment how she obtained those things by the way,she worked for her boyfriends moms magazine selling ads. but instead of taking payment in cheques form she would take product. Because she wouldn't be able to cash cheques written out to the magazine.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:55:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I know this one! The funny thing about addicts isn't so much that they tend to live in a polluted reality, but the pollution actually spills out and can infect other realities!
For example, my stepfather would frequently, miraculously, "find" rent moneys just in the nick of time (on a sidewalk, in some bushes etc). He'd also "figure a way" to fix things that broke (things that people loved to use, like games, cars). He'd find out who broke into the house and sold things that belonged to everyone other than him, and he'd deal with that person. We were so lucky to have him, and my mother would be overcome with relief when he'd 'save the day'.
He removed and hid my mothers rent money, he sabotaged her car and our belongings, he robbed us, he created an atmosphere of fear with staged robberies and he did all this to keep himself in control. The depths of depravity are matched very nicely by despots around the world.
I have control issues as well, as an adult. I wonder how that happened.
Yeah the asshole goof my mom was with during this time was similar in some ways but was a reeal asshole with me and hit on me all the damn time. But she wouldn't do anything because he would be holding the drugs or whatever fucking reason it was for that particular day.
I mean it got to the point where when I was ten I tried to stab him with a fucking kitchen knife. I mean my daughter is ten now and I could NEVER EVER IMAGINE her even having 1/100th of the amount of hate I had at ten, because she is such a chill child. a 10 year old kid should not hate his parents that much, if at all. I mean yeah kids get mad cause there parents didn't buy them things.
I still have anger issues myself and for the longest time had trouble controlling my temper and would punch first and think after. It was only in the last couple years that I've FINALLY gotten a lot better and would sooner bite my tongue and walk away rather than flip out.
I too also suffered from control issues for awhile but I started realizing I was turning into the one person I despised to much in my life, which led to depression and... well you must know that depression doesn't really end up anywhere good.
But I am still going to therapy and I guess I am finally getting better. Having the kids helped me calm down a lot too.
Trying to anyway, for a long time it didn't seem like I was going to, since I went down my own path of destruction even after my daughter was born. The more I did it the more I hated myself for what I was doing and therefore with the self hate came more self destruction. But I am super glad to be out of all of that now.
Honestly I think I just got real lucky. The house and property were dirt cheap and its mortgaged so its not like we technically own it out right, but FWIW its pretty near the same thing IMO. Honestly the cost of mortgage plus insurance is cheaper than just rent even in my area of the country which is on the cheaper end of rental cost.
But I'm sure you'll get yours someday. You just need to find out what you want and work towards achieving that goal. Yeah yeah I know that sounds cheesy and cliche as all get out but honestly it really is true.
If you're unhappy with things and life in general, If you are able too, try and see a therapist or something. I went through a few until I found one I really liked (Canada so we don't pay for visits to the doctors and stuff like that) and it has helped me a great deal.
I don't really know your situation though so I can't really offer much more advise then that, but if you want to talk feel free to PM me if you'd like.
Aw dude, my Mum slipped into alcoholism the last few years before I left home so I feel you. My younger siblings got it worse as they stayed in the family home longer.
My Dad would limit the money my Mum could use but she'd just nick it from her kids.
Addiction is an evil affliction but it always stems from a dark place or time in your life. So knowing what she went through as a little girl, why she drank. It wasn't an excuse just an explanation, but an explanation that helped me during counseling.
She's been sober 3 years now and if you ever met her now you'd think she is the sweetest most loving mother.
Yeah knowing what my mom went through as a child did allow me to try and forgive her but then I realized, shes just a toxic person in general. Knowing how she is now, I realize she would have done it with or without the drugs honestly. She just lies, cheats and steals her way through life. My other aunts went through the same shit and they aren't anything like her her.
But as for your mom, I am very glad she got better :)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:45:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Honestly the whole shebang was $70,000 on a mortgage. I could never afford to buy out right. So if you want to get technical the bank owns it, but in reality id say most people who "Own" Homes are just mortgaging as well. Hell I've read about actual rich people who mortgage too. They don't want to tie their own money up in it for whatever reason so they use the banks money.
But as it stands now after bills and groceries and shit we don't usually have more than a couple hundred every couple weeks for a family of four for leisure like video games, going to the movies, zoo, whatever (I got laid off last year from a full time job and am working part time while trying to get something going on my own so money is tight for the moment). So yeah like I said, not rich by any means.
And yeah I guess we could sell the house and property and come out on top, but it wouldn't be very much so, while we may have some assets, its only money on paper.
I don't know about you, but I had terrible spending habits because of shit like that. If I had money my mom would "borrow" it. Never mind the odds and ends she would pawn off. I learned early to spend it while I can, or I won't get a chance to enjoy it.
Oh yeah, I suck with money for the most part. One time a few years ago I started hiding money in a book to save it, but then my ex girlfriend would take it out to take her ex husband out to lunch at mcdonalds and go shopping and shit. So I am terrible with money, even saving the down payment for the house was helleven between me and my girlfriend(her mom was a gambling addict so I guess that's where she gets her poor spending habits too now that I think about it) but we managed it finally. We're getting better though although it seems every time we get a little saved, some repair comes up and its gone again.
DeadDay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:49:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only had a few moments where my mom would pawn some random thing of mine for pills, telling me we needed for bills and my Dad would have to get it out on payday. Sorry you had to go through shittiness but I bet it made a person who inspires others like crazy. Keep on keeping on dude.
Thank you for that.:) I will do so. I try and be a good person now and be a good dad to my kids. I know I fuck up sometimes but I'll do everything in my power to give them the life I never had, although it's hard not to spoil them sometimes, which I know is can be a bad thing lol if I don't teach them the proper morals and what not.
I'm sorry you had to go through it too though, no matter if its a little or a lot it still hurts and confuses the shit out of us when we're kids. Glad your dad was there to help out though. Is your mom better now?
DeadDay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She's wonderful! She wound up going to rehab and turned towards smoking more hippie cigs to ease transition and beat it! Now she comes to visit all the time and works her ass off. Parents are still together and we keep knocking addictions out of the park.
I'm glad to hear you're doing so well after all that and glad to hear back from you. You're going to be a big game changer for a lot of people in your life, keep kicking ass!
You know? I've been trying to tell people this for a few years now ( It took me a LONG fucking time to actually fully come to that realization, as I left when I was 16 and knew she was a psychopath, but when I had my first daughter she sort of weaseled her way back into my life and I actually believed she did change. )
But no one else sees it. Well at least no one in my family and none of her friends see it. Even my Mother in Law wanted to believe she was a good person for a few years despite what I told her, but she finally seen the truth too.
I had a friend who had a savings account that she and her family had been contributing to so she could go to college. When she graduated from high school and was looking at colleges, her mom told her "The bank made a mistake and they lost all your money." My friend lost around $6k. Her mom had spent it over the years, getting expensive hair cuts, facials, massages, ect.
Shit that sucks, I am sorry to hear that. That REALLY sucks, as she was already looking for colleges knowing that she had(or was supposed to have had anyway) money stored away and then to find out its not there.
Does she know her mom spent it though? Like did she figure it out or did you just find out through the grapevine.
She pretty much figured it out. Here mom was a single mom, and didn't make a huge salary. She wouldn't have been able to afford the luxury spa days, massages, and $200 hair cuts on her own. Plus the rest of the fam who had contributed to her saving account was pissed too. I mean, the excuse saying "the bank lost your money, sorry, there's nothing we can do" is obviously complete BS.
That we do. fist bumps but I had to laugh at the "addict kids for the win part though lol. Just the thought of some rag tag sports team called addicts kids who band together like the mighty ducks movie or something
Man, I feel sorry for you. Sometimes I think I have a bad mom but even though she's kind of dumb and has a temper she's still a good parent. Ya she screams and yells at me and takes away my stuff temporarily (and constantly) she still just wants me to be a good, not spoiled kid.
Glad to see your mom didn't stop you from enjoying life :).
Nah no need to feel sorry for me. It was what it was and I can't change that, I can only come out either better or worse for it, but in my case I came out better.
IMO and this is strictly based on what you wrote, because I don't know about you or your mom, but by the way you describe her she does sound like a good mom. If anything it reminds me of how I am with my daughter now (Shes 10 right now so getting into her teenage rebellion stuff). She is only trying to do whats best for you and sometimes it may seema bit excessive but you can't let that change your feelings towards her. Just remember when she does that its only out of love.\
Now again I don't know how things really are so they could actually be different for you, But I sure hope not for your sake.
No she definitely is looking out for me( Really struggling with the whole sport bike battle) That's how she was raised, in a more harsh way. While she doesn't hit me or anything she definitely believes being absolutely stern is the way to go. However in a decent amount of situations I don't think it's the best way to go.
But what do I know. I'm just 14 so I'm probably wrong in a lot of things lol.
As much as that is a terrible terrible thing to happen to you, it's better than having parents who spoil you and try to make you into their idea of a perfect child. You are probably a much stronger person as a result.
I mean, in a way I am glad for the life I had. I didn't really go into too much detail as i just listed off the lies she told me, but there was always some sort of bullshit or another going on, so I ran away/left home at 16. Living on the streets was better than living with her, and in doing so I grew up quick I suppose and I am now 29, own a house and have kids of my own.
But then I look back at my one very good friend( never had a chance to have many) who was an only child and spoiled(spoilt?) like crazy, and he is now living off welfare because "Fuck the government, I hate them so I am going to take everything I can from them". In reality I think it is because he was NEVER made to do ANYTHING he didn't want to do so therefore, now he doesn't want to work and so he doesn't. He was never taught that sometimes in life you just have to do things you don't want.
gogomom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Addiction is such a bitch. I hope she got some help.
Not really, while I don't believe she is using anymore at the moment, shes still the same narcissistic bitch she always was even during the brief times she was off the drugs. Sadly she will never change. I avoid her as much as possible now.
gogomom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry that was your childhood experience. I'm glad things have turned out well for you in the long run.
I actually really like my mom's meatloaf. I've never understood why people don't like it until I tried meatloaf my mom didn't make. Not even remotely the same.
Whenever I came home from college for a visit, I'd always want the meatloaf my Dad made. That was the best ever. Meatloaf rocks.
wil3y ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:16:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you ever find yourself in Columbus, Ohio, stop into Cap City Diner and get their meatloaf. It is by far the best meatloaf I've ever had, and I love me some meatloaf.
I was reading these meatloaf comments and thinking about how good it sounds. I live east of Columbus. I've never heard of the place youre talking about. Where is it located?
wil3y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:24:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's in Columbus off of 315. Basically on the corner of Olentangy River Rd and King Ave. Go there, get the meatloaf.
gave you the upvote, cause sometimes people just don't get it.
but that was funny...
slimkt ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:15:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly! In cartoons when kids were like, "Meatloaf?! Blegh!" I always thought, "The fuck? I love meatloaf!" But then I had meatloaf at a friend's house and thought, "Fuck, no wonder they hate it!"
Zardif ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:05:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother's meatloaf is literally egg 93% ground beef and rice with ketchup on top. No salt no spices. It's generally very dry and not good. I had meatloaf prepared by someone else at a restaurant and I was blown away, it was delicious moist and had more complexity than just beef. Now I'm older I've come to realize my mother is a bad/lazy cook.
saikron ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:53:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No salt no spices.
Are we trying to turn groceries into food here or just sterilize it before eating it?
My mom's meatloaf is also absolutely terrible. I was 25 before I realized that it wasn't an across the board disgusting food. My mother in law's meatloaf is freakin delicious.
Same here...I dreaded meatloaf growing up because egg, ketchup, beef and rice with the sparsest sprinkling of dried onion flakes is vile. This is still what I think of when I think of meatloaf. My fiancee keeps offering to make it for me and I keep doing the culinary equivalent of "Look, what's that over there!" and think up some surprise to cook for him. Maybe I'll finally bite the bullet and give it a shot.
Zardif ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would say season it well and don't go by a recipe from the 70s find something from a modern celebrity chef and it'll probably be alright.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:27:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dont get why people find it gross or weird. Its literally meat in loaf form. Like bread, but beef, or whatever meat they choose.
I love my mom's meatloaf so once i was in a hospital and they brought me that randomly for dinner. It was gray and covered in a 2 inch puddle of ketchup
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:54:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Meatloaf for me has always meant a super watery and bland dinner
Edit: Why downvotes? I'm not saying all meatloaf has been bad, just that my family is bad at making it.
codyneo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:02:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WTF, Meatloaf shouldn't be watery
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:22:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well they don't put water in it. It's just that... I guess all the juices come out of the meat? I don't know, but it's not good.
codyneo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:28:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is why a binder is used, breadcrumbs, crackers, rice or oatmeal. They absorb the juices. It should solid but still fan be cut with a fork.
Same here, meatloaf is my favorite from it being so good growing up. Whenever my mom is cooking for us and asks what I'd want I always say meatloaf haha. Confused me when I found out so many people hate it because they said it was so awful growing up. Seems like a really hard dish to fuck up, I make it all the time now.
My mom made good meatloaf when I finally convinced her to stop before she added the onions and roll a third of it into an onionless one for me and my onion-hating brother before adding onions to everyone else's. Then it was awesome!
My mom is such a bad cook she's burned quesadillas. My dad is a much better cook, but he worked all the time so I grew up on my mom's terrible cooking anyway.
My great grandmother had a somewhat secret recipe for meatloaf (that the family also knows.) She made it for a youth group dinner and at first they were reluctant to eat it, but they ate all three of the pans she made.
I had the opposite experience, I thought meatloaf was horrible until my wife made it the first time. It turns out it's not supposed to be as dry as the Sahara and burnt on the bottom. Now it's one of my favorite meals.
Yes mom I do, but lasagna isn't typically only 2 layers, where half of it is crunchy, with barely enough sauce to keep it from drying out, next to no cheese and green peppers instead of meat.
I straight-up bring food when my mom hosts something, otherwise we'd go hungry.
My dad did the cooking in our household because my mother is a bad cook. When he started working later shifts when I was 11 or so, I ended up learning how to cook because I was legitimately afraid she'd burn the house down (I distinctly remember a pot of water she left boiling on the stove so long it caught fire). She would start making something, wander off and forget about it, and then be surprised that everything was overcooked and/or on fire.
Rofl. Yeah, my mom is exactly the same. There is a running joke that the first set of biscuits she cooks are the "test biscuits" because she always puts them in, then gets distracted and burns them.
Every time without fail.
We all use to have a fear of meat sauces as well. She would take meat that was almost bad, brown it, have it sit in the fridge for a while, then cover it in pasta sauce and use it on pasta. It makes me ill just thinking about it. It took me a while to stop scraping the sausage out of lasagna at restaurants because of her. We'd rather starve than eat any pasta at relatives homes thinking it would be the same too.
My mom is a pretty good cook, but her mom is terrible. I still remember the time she found a $50 piece of King salmon that my mom had bought, put it in the oven at 500 degrees, and set the timer for 30 minutes. Mom made me stroll through the kitchen every two minutes so I could rescue that fish before it got charred into oblivion.
My grandma grew up poor during the Great Depression, so on top of her preference for meat and seafood that's mostly charcoal, she buys the cheapest of everything and won't throw anything away. For example, my grandfather makes homemade bread that would be amazing, except that it's always bitter from using rancid flour. They also have spices in their cabinet that are older than my mother, who is going on 60.
Oh my gosh that is the WORST. I had to buy herbs to stay at my boyfriends because MIL's idea of a roast was a plain chicken, boiled potatoes, and peas.
My mom trained to be a pastry chef and later became a cake baker and decorator. She can bake anything. She can't cook for shit. I'm in my 30s and only now learning that some foods aren't disgusting: it's just my mom's cooking that's disgusting.
I will never understand why people remain bad cooks all their lives when it so easy to do a little research and NOT be a bad cook. Cooking isn't hard; you make it hard.
Some people are just willfully ignorant of their problems.
My mother insisted that everyone loved her cooking. Everyone would complain about it, and every single time they'd be told they didn't know what they were talking about. Everyone else loved my mother's cooking (according to my mother herself), so clearly the person complaining about it was wrong.
She'd rather be skilled in her own mind than admit she needed to improve, and actually possibly become a skilled cook in real life.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:21:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother in law is a pretty bad cook. One time she offered to make enchiladas, and I was super excited to eat them until I realized she used salsa instead of enchilada sauce.
She's a lovely person in every other way though. We have thanksgiving at her house, but we cook the food.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:32:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my MIL is the same. It might have something to do with her poor childhood so she tries to make everything out of the cheapest ingredients she can find and replace stuff in food if she's lacking something.
She has made us "pizza" with only ketchup and frozen corn on top.
Once we brought her 1kg of minced meat to make a sauce out of it for all 6 of us to be eaten with potatoes (very Finnish traditional food everyone should know how to make). She ended up using only 200g of meat and decided to freeze the rest for later and boiled one potato for each one of us. The rest of the sauce was just boiled water.
No one has the heart to say her anything, though, because it seems to be an honor for her to make food for us. I usually end up losing weight all the time we visit her.
Oooh see, I'm a baddie like that too. I've used salsa, I need to stop that. I had a lot of terrible eating habits from my mom, but also my dad. He doesn't even like cheese, so no pizza, EVER. I never had your typical Italian, Chinese, Mexican, Indian f, etc, food until I was staying out of the house around 19.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:18:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like salsa too! Im a huge fan of almost all Mexican food. It was just the thing where I was expecting the bite to taste like enchiladas, and it was more like a Mexican Pizza.
I think when he was a kid, he must have gotten some bad cheese, like bad bad, not brie or something like that. He thinks any cheese is disgusting, and views pizza as a disgusting snack.
Edit: Not that brie is bad, just thinking of what a kid might think is 'bad' had they come across it.
Heh I just couldn't think of a 'fancy' cheese that might be an acquired taste that he may have run into. They were poor so there's no way that would have happened.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, I understand what you're saying now. I thought you were calling fancy cheeses bad.
Yeah my bad, I just couldn't imagine where someone would get a hatred for cheese as a child with the usual cheddar, American, and mozzarella kids usually get.
Oh god that is my aunts lasagna exactly but she uses ground beef. There is never any sauce it's basically a pasta cake burned to a crisp with black cheese on top. If hell served food it would be on the menu. She thinks she's such an amazing cook but she only cooks like 3 times a year (and it's always the same thing, lasagna lol). She brings it every thanksgiving, easter, and christmas and if no one takes a piece (we always have a buffet type setup) she will pick up the dish and literally put a piece on our plates while we're eating. Then we all have to eat it and look happy doing it to make her feel good and not seem rude. Then she will make us take it home with our leftovers haha. Each piece is like a lead hockey puck, it's sooo bad.
I only take it home because I'm forced to because "Take it it's deliciousss!"... but my dog likes it so there's that, hahaha. At least it doesn't go to waste.
My MIL can ruin anything. My husband once said he liked perogies, and spent nearly a lifetime eating hot perogy mush. She boils them until they fall apart and all the potato filling is in the water, and what you get served is really just perogy dough.
We tend to go out for dinner with her, and when we have to be there for holidays, we ALWAYS choose ham because it's harder to fuck up. (Harder, not impossible)
Sounds like my dad, when he makes pasta, which is only spaghetti, he boils it (and noodle soup for that matter) for twice as long as recommended.
My mom also took the veggie and bits of chicken (from the bones) from a broth I was simmering for hours, and used it to make a soup she actually ate. I was kind of grossed out.
Kind of a pet peeve, why do people think they can just put peppers in anything? Both green and red peppers have extremely strong flavors, sure, you can make good things with either or both, but you have to go into it knowing that they're going to be a huge part of the flavor. If you want to just add some vegetable bulk use mild squashes or beans, not something that strong. Still better than the random raw onions though, those are really disgusting and make my parents sick.
Exactly! I asked what on earth she was thinking and I think she said it was in the sauce like that, which I doubt. If I can't bring food to her house, I eat before and then fill my plate sparingly.
I learned how to cook because my Step-Mom is such a terrible cook. Her and my dad thought I was trying to do something nice for them when I was home on college breaks but the truth was I would rather spend an hour cooking than eat what she would cook.
... So I married a chef. And my mum came to visit me last October (she was helping with my kiddo after I had surgery) and I wanted her to make lasagna.
Turns out, my favorite meal/special meal as kid, is not so impressive as an adult (I lived in NYC for a few years and now NJ, where Italian food is abundant). I'll never tell her that but man. It really needs more flavor.
Why do moms always compliment their bad cooking so much?
All my inlaws sit around the table going MMMM MMM YUMMY YUM, when I have cooked nicer stuff playing the 'cook with what you can find in the cupboard' game...
Dude I fucking love my mom's meatloaf. Meatloaf is incredible and my mom aces that shit. If it was the cooking Olympics she's the goddamn Michael Phelps of goddamn fucking loaves of meat.
QTBee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Any chance your mother is willing to share the recipe? I've had good and bad meatloaf made by others, but I'm not sure what differentiated them recipe-wise so I'm cautious about trying to make it myself.
Look up "Falscher Hase recipes" on Google and go from there, picking whichever variation you happen to like the most. German-style meatloafs are the correct choice. That's the way my mother always makes meatloaf (very, very German parents) and it's amazing. Other meatloafs are an insult to the name.
My mom's meatloaf is disgusting. The only food she's ever made that I've liked was her Mexican food. And she isn't even Mexican. But her white people food is gross.
My mom is a decent cook, but she is way too timid about spices and seasonings, so I've gotten to where I make most of her recipes better than she does. >_>
I'll never tell her, though.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:22:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is a lifelong smoker and I think she's killed all her tastebuds. She dumps a cup of salt into everything.
Ditto. When I started cooking for myself I realized just how bland everything she cooked was. About the only spice she would use was garlic salt.
I think everyone just complimented her cooking as it was novelty compared to everything else. Asian style foods in Texas, yeah.
syriquez ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:38:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Your mother is a bad cook. Meatloaf, done correctly, is the most delicious substance on the planet.
You need the old school German-styled meatloaf that's wrapped in bacon and has tons of onion in it. Add in some Worcestershire sauce when you're mixing it up (which breaks it away from the traditional German style admittedly) and you've got a great meal.
FUCK the other style that's basically a hunk of baked ground beef unceremoniously slathered with ketchup.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love meatloaf just to clarify. My uncle makes great meatloaf.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:43:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good meatloaf is awesome. Good meatloaf, however, does not involve ketchup.
This is not true. Following this recipe will yield the best meatloaf I've ever had, if you add some more ketchup on top before you put it in the oven. Good meatloaf just doesn't involve post-baking ketchup.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What meat is meatloaf?
I always imagine is the shit quality meat mushed together. I can see that it is kind of like sausage meat.
It kind of is like sausage in a way. It's generally ground meat smucked into a loaf (using egg and bread crumbs or crushed crackers for stability) and then baked. The ground meat can be beef, pork, or in some cases a mixture of the two.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought it was chub.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom's meatloaf and twice-baked potatoes is one of my favorite meals. And she's makes some humdingers of meals. So yes, I would regretfully say your mom is probs just a bad cook.
Even worse is when you have to tell her you like her cooking because she gets irrationally angry or upset otherwise, and as a result she keeps cooking terrible food because she thinks everyone loves it.
My mom cooked bad meatloaf and really really bad beef roast. She cooked the roast until it was dry and completely gray.
I never even thought meatloaf COULD be good until I was a teen and had some at a friends house. I didn't know roast beef could be good until I was 18 and at a wedding reception.
To be fair, mom did have a couple of dishes she did that were awesome.
jpallan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother was a bad cook, too. Nothing in her house was edible, and I grew up surviving on cold cereal. She tried to cook, but you don't scramble eggs in a microwave and you don't need to cook meat until you can suck it through a straw.
She died last week, suddenly and unexpectedly. I would do anything to suffer through one more plate of those fucked-up scrambled eggs.
I love a good meatloaf, but my mother could never make one. I always thought it would be so hard to make because I always heard about how bad other people's meatloaf is so I was afraid to try and make my own!
Until recently when I decided to give it a shot... holy shit is it not only SUPER EASY to make, it is SUPER FUCKING EASY to make GOOD!
grubas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum can cook about 7 dishes, but God help you if you hide her index cards. None of them are amazing. Meanwhile I don't use many directions, worked in kitchens and I can whip up stuff that has my dad licking his plate. I made my version of some of her dishes and she was incessant trying to figure out what I did and the exact amount of herbs and spices I used. Even I don't know, measuring while cooking isn't my thing, this isn't baking.
My mother said everyone loved her grape jelly meatball... things.
I didn't find out until years later, from Reddit, that what she was cooking was actually a real thing and not some abomination she'd devised. Pretty good stuff. She was just going FAR too heavy on the grape. Like: Meatballs in Jello levels of too-heavy.
My mother was, and still is, a HORRIBLE cook. She removes all the fat and everything that makes food taste good because it's 'bad for you'. Then she wonders why it doesn't taste the same.
She never understood the whole 'eat smaller portions' concept. She didn't trust us or herself to do that, so she just didn't baste pork or fowl, she substituted water for dairy, etc. It was pretty horrifying.
Even now, she still thinks she can cook. I got fat eating out AFTER dinner, because my mother's cooking was something to be avoided.
My mom is a terrible cook. Growing up, everything was a casserole. Or an "experiment". Once i grew up and left the house, I realized i needed to go through the world retasting everything i thought i hated, because turns out i just hated her version. Even now, everything she cooks is bland, and i don't think she has tried a new recipe in over a decade. I don't get it.
My mother was a decent cook, but holy hell were her favorite recipes terrible. She had these thrice rebound cook books gifted to her by her mother just filled with terrible enchiladas, applesauce meatloaf, and "tacos". I dont remember the name, only that its been out of print since 1952.
"Everyone just loves my meatloaf. People come up to me in the street and say, I love your meatloaf. And I say, I hear you! My meatloaf is gonna be the biggest. It's gonna be the best, believe me. We're gonna make the biggest meatloafs, and it's going to be the greatest. We're gonna make meatloafs great again."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Far from it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you move to Hawaii?
Donalf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, that gives you an average velocity of 0.0255ms-1 . I mean, that's kinda slow - 10 times faster than a quick snail. It could depend on how far and what direction you travelled. The Earth's circumference is about 40,000 km, so if you keep at it, then in about 30 years you could be half-way across the globe, so you literally could be over it!
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 16:39:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She used to call me dumb, stupid, fat, ugly, useless, hopeless, etc as well as beating me. But as I got older, she stopped. But for what she said and did to me, when she did (ages 5-18?), I can't ever have the relationship I'd always wanted to have with my mother.
She desperately tries to reach out to me to try to have a close relationship with me, but I simply am unable to do so. And because most of this happened when I was living in Japan, regardless of how amazing Japan is, I lapse back into some severe depression shit whenever I have to go back. I'm due to go back in two weeks and the panic attacks have already started to set in.
I really truly wish I could have a close relationship with my mother. And despite all, I still love her. But I can only do so from a distance.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:52:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:10:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's definitely affected me in some way in terms of insecurities and all but... There's so much distance between us, it doesn't really hurt at all.
She doesn't acknowledge any of the damage she's done. She sees it as "discipline". If it isn't already obvious, yup we're Asian. I've expressed to her many times that I hate going to Japan and don't want to spend any more time there than I have to. She doesn't understand why I don't like it there and always asks. My dad seems to get it because he's never brought it up after the first time.
Thanks! My life is getting better. I am about to enter my last year in college. Have an amazing girlfriend, and things in general are looking better.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:25:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yaay! I'm going to need all that luck in my last year of Biomedical Engineering.
Love with boundaries is the key, and it is totally okay to do this. You can forgive someone without letting them continue to hurt you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your entire second paragraph. I can relate so much. I'm 22 and going into my last year of college. She continuously commends herself for having raised me well. And just like you said, no matter how close she wants to be to me, I simply can't do it. It's the resentment, it's the physical repulsion, it's the unwillingness to be anything more than simply her son.
You hit the nail on the head with not being able to bring it up either. My mom is so fragile that if I ever raised any of this up, she would be utterly broken, especially so since I am an only child.
Your post honestly sounds like me, one year into the future. I just want a happy childhood.
Same here. Used to scream at the top of her songs and throw things, saying she would leave the family forever because I wasn't a good enough child. I was home schooled until I was thirteen and not allowed to leave the house, and only given a very lapsed education during that time (essentially none at all). She told me never to see a therapist because she didn't want them to blame her and think she was a bad mother, and that if I were ever depressed, she'd call the police and have me forcibly sent to an insane asylum. Etc. I still live with her at 22, but I'm trying to get out. There's obviously loads more, but she's ruined my relationship with her forever. I've tried talking with her about it, but all she does is start crying and screaming how she's a bad mother.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am so sorry for your situation. It sounds like you should get your mother to a therapist. She might be suffering from a multitude of things internally which is causing her to act the way she does.
I hope you are successful in your attempts to move out and any further education/career you might choose! Internet stranger is wishing you luck!
Ayyye Can I join the emotionally abusive mothers club? Mine called me a fat ass ball of lard because I didn't wanna bike a couple miles to school at 6 A.M. when it was pouring rain.
Mine took a passive aggressive approach. She just sent me to therapist after therapist to find out what was "wrong" with me. Turns out I was just kind of a shy kid, was content with just a handful of close friends, and found video games and movies more interesting than sports. (Fun fact: when I actually did play football in high school, she didn't attend a single game.)
We're fine now (I'm 34) but I spent the majority of the first quarter of my life digging out of the hole she dug into my confidence and sense of self worth.
drone42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine was much the same. "If you had half a brain, you'd be dangerous." "Dumbass." (More times than I can count), and her favorite, "Gay piece of shit." Im not gay. At all.
You're not an idiot untill they keep you up till 2 in the morning on a school night telling you so. Then proceed to ask why you sleep all the time. Stupid.
Pedollm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always told me when I got a bad grade "fine you wanna keep up like this, fucking fail, see if I care" and wondered why I never came to her with problems or had ANY self esteem
I was genuinely struggling but my brother was a "genius" who was simply too lazy to do homework, it was assumed I was the same, when really I just couldn't comprehend math
Same. I was ironing the other day and couldn't get being told how ugly I was out of my head the whole rest of the day.
Skoot99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Be Brave. Tell her the truth. Open your heart.
Anrikay ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:08:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I tell her how much it hurt me, she calls me a liar and mocks me with it every time we fight. "Oh, is this going to hurt you too? I'm not about to walk on eggshells because you're too sensitive." Or she'll say I'm always trying to paint her as the bad guy and why am I always so mean to her? She's done nothing to deserve it and even if she had, she only said or did those things because I was such a brat.
She'll never take any responsibility and engaging will only make her attack me. Better to just let it go.
Skoot99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. I did not expect such a deep an heartfelt answer. I was totally just referencing the show "Preacher". I am so sorry, my friend.
Thoth74 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
rib-bit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you don't call real idiots "idiots"...think about how you treat your friends - you never make fun of their real disabilities....she loved you then and still loves you now - she just doesn't know how to show it very well...
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:07:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sure. But explain that to a 12 year old.
And, personally, I can forgive my mom for that. But now I have my own kids, and she shows the exact same behaviors towards them. As a result, my 2 & 6 year old barely know their grandma. I may be damaged, but I can do my best to keep my kids safe.
You forget that "special" (in quotes) got it's meaning because of the parent lie: parents telling their kids (mostly Millennials) they were special; until special got a whole new meaning to kids, who are now adults.
isodore ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:29:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
d4nkq ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:49:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My sister maxed out all her scores upon leaving high school. She wanted to be an astronaut or work at CERN. We live in Australia. She's not going to space.
Wait how hard is it to get out of Australia and which non American countries have decent space programmes (would recommend against America due to the political situation)
d4nkq ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:58:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not but we're (middle class, not poor)first-generation immigrants. Parents could probably absorb the financial cost of relocating her but honestly even if you're a superfit, superintelligent military brat whose parents are high-ups in the Chinese military, your chances of actually being sent to space are preeeetty slim(because not a lot of people are currently needed in space).
Working at CERN, competing in the Olympics are probably more attainable, but to put it in RPG terms: for reasons entirely out of the control of most individuals, those are character builds you need to start minmaxing for long before you have the mental capacity to pick goals and dreams.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:18:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:27:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
participants must choose what they want to be no later than the age of four and dedicate their lives to becoming it at that time. Opportunities needed for success not guaranteed.
kick6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want to be*
*terms and conditions apply
I like this version better:
You can be anything you want to be*
*lack of income may apply
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:08:03 on August 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:34 on August 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus. Please get help
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:09 on August 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:15:05 on August 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're engaging in abusive and harassing behavior. Please stop.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:08:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad used that phrase sarcastically to insult me, basically saying that I will grow up to be a waste of space. This was after getting an A in English Language GCSE instead of an A*, and he even knew that I had no intention of pursuing the subject any further.
He still wonders why my brothers and I were so adamant about moving away for University.
It's just age specific. There's no reason to crush a 5 year old's dreams, but preteens and teens probably need a gentle dose of reality that they're probably not going to be a professional athlete or race car driver so they need to cultivate multiple pathways to success.
That's pretty much what my mom taught me once I started losing friends when I was 10/11. Up until then, everybody liked me. And at that point, she looked me dead in the face and said "Just say 'fuck them'. You don't need them. You don't have to be perfect."
And since then I've gotten really apathetic and I don't give a shit about anything or anyone if it/they don't mean something to me. On one hand, I seem completely heartless. On the other hand, I have pretty much zero stress or worry in my life.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:21:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
We already knew why I was losing friends. I was always the "weird kid". I'm a girl and I loved video games and Pokรฉmon and guns and hunting and I watched scary movies and listened to metal. So once we all started hitting puberty, everybody got more judgemental, as middle/high schoolers tend to be. And nobody wanted to be my friend because I wasn't "normal".
And mom told me that if they didn't like me or want to be my friend because of who I was, or what I liked, then I didn't need them. I couldn't make them like me. And I certainly wasn't going to change myself. But I understand what you're saying. It was just because I was "weird", and no other reasons than that.
We also lived in a very small, Christian village (literally a village. Barely 1000 people). And the parents were very judgemental and intolerant of anything outside of the typical suburban white family norm. So there wasn't going to be any talking to the parents and letting them know that their kids were being so judgemental or cruel. Because the parents were the same way.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:40:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
omahaks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
a specophile
stygyan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Earlier I was watching Bo Burham. Loved the double standards bit.
"I really hate double standards. If I fuck a kid, I'm a pedophile. But if the kid fucks me, I'm still the pedophile. Twice in a week."
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 14:30:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think there's anything wrong with telling your child they are special, as long as you tell them that so is everyone else. That way they feel special, but don't grow up thinking they deserve special treatment because they are more special than everyone else.
And I know telling them that everyone is special is contradictory but little kids don't really grasp that.
I don't think it's contradictory, I think it just leaves out the context. If you have a kid, they're special TO YOU. Unless the kid's parents suck, every kid is special - to their parents. How many parents would just trade their kid for some random kid on the street? I know a lot of people joke about that kind of thing, but I think very few would actually exchange a child.
Is it really a lie when almost everyone's mom honestly thinks this about their kids?
Ajk320 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:24:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
โYou are not special. You're not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else. We're all part of the same compost heap. We're all singing, all dancing crap of the world"
"Well you know what? My mom always used to say that average people are the most special people in the world. And that's why God made so many."
-Michael Scott
rib-bit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:17:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also...You have ADD/ADHD/Aspergers...
madjoy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always told me how beautiful I was.
It was years later when okcupid's hotness algorithm proved otherwise to me. Oh well. At least my mom thinks I'm beautiful! I don't think she was lying - I think she genuinely mistakenly believes it. Sweet, really.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:44:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But why the fuck would they do that?!???! If a mother was truly loving she would tell the truth.
Sirikia ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 12:44:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Telling your kids "You're a worthless blight on society, I wish I had an abortion" is generally frowned upon by society though.
Do people's mothers actually say this? Mine only did when she was making it clear to me that I had sensory issues and was more work than my siblings because of it.
Did you all really get showered with this kind of praise?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:57:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine never actually said this. My parents are very down-to-earth people, making sure I knew that hard work pays off but nothing more.
I didn't grow up thinking I was exceptionally talented, or exceptionally smart. I was just reassured that if I want something, there's a way that I can get it if I work hard enough.
My parents were the same. I do wish they had complimented me more, though. Now as an adult i have poor self esteem and I can't really take compliments, which I think is an important skill because no one likes it when you go "uhhh... really???" and act all confused when they say they like your hair or something. I was also bullied quite a lot in elementary school and I think my parents didn't really take that into account.
They're kinda praise-y now that I'm an adult and function fairly well despite my anxiety, Tourette's, etc., but their strictness growing up was a little too much at times. But I do have that knowledge that yes, I am smart, I can do what I want to... so it worked out.
Ever heard of Dr. Spock, the child psychologist? He advocated for less dependence on parents and received criticism for his non-traditional views of childcare. Some attribute the instant gratification movement to him, as well as the echoes that rang down to Gen-X'ers and Millenials.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad always told me I'm special and unique, just like everybody else.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For me the lie was always "I love you"
taedrin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, you ARE special. You are the protagonist of your own story - nobody else can write your life's story for you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Imagine you have a special person in a room, then you add someone who isn't special. Now he becomes special because he's the only not special person. Now if you put the rest of the world in the room he's still special!"
If you get butthurt by this answer I say you're the one that has some growing up to do. The truth is that we are all special to someone and that makes that fact very non-special.
And the truth is that 99.9% of us are not special in the grand schema of things. The sooner people realize that the happier and more considerate they will be to their fellow human beings.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I understand that. I just think "you're special" is a perfectly acceptable means of imbuing a child with self-confidence and self-worth.
What else are you supposed to say to a kid? "You're a mundane, typical being who will contribute as much to society as everyone else"?
How about "Everyone is this world is fighting a hard battle and no one in this life will give you things for free. You have to fight for what you want but at the same time respect and understand others".
Who knows, maybe that's for an older child. But before saying "you're special" I'd rather say other things that don't give my kids false sense of superiority.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Should be "I love your healthy organs and they are very important to me."
Ten years later I found out that she only adopted me because I have the same blood type and she wanted someone to feel indebt to her and donate organs since she's had ongoing battles with cancer.
Bitch adopted me just to harvest my organs. Needless to say I didn't give her fucking anything. The second she found a dude that's willing to put up with her shit and willingly agreed to give her organs, I was ignored.
I honestly don't sweat it much any more. I recognized it and moved on as quickly as I could because there's no way I'm going to stick around for her bullshit. I'm stronger because of it so I guess I'm glad I learned about what kind of people are out there and what kind of person I should never be.
me3wa ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:39:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
happy to hear you were able to move past it and become a better person because of it. all the more respect to you.
I'm 27 now, and I'm actually doing extremely well. Working my dream job and engaged to a wonderful woman. (A woman whom my mother attempted to warn me against and that she's bad for me etc etc, then tried to covince her that I was cheating on her, etc.). Joke's on her.
She sounds horrible. But you sound lovely. I'm happy to hear your life is working out for you. Good on you for rising above it. That's not an easy feat.
Thank you. I suppose with things there's really only two ways to take it. Do you sit by and just let it happen and get swept up with it or do you stand up and fight? Fuck yeah!
LeChat42 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:45:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Wow... There aren't even words to describe how I feel about this; I truly hope that legislation can be passed that puts an end to human rights violation that conceiving a life for the sole purpose of harvesting body parts is. That shit's scary...
I'm a stronger person for it, so in some really fucked up way it taught me from an early age that family doesn't mean shit if they're not loving and supportive and that some people can be really shitty no matter how nice they seem.
hugs It is, no doubt about that. I do honestly feel better off though because it was several lessons in one such as no matter how sweet and innocent someone may appear, that doesn't mean they actually are and just overall look after yourself. Not in a paranoid way, but just in a general caution.
Ahhh I am glad you feel that way. That you took something that is such a hard lesson and swallowed it like a champ. You're such a stronger person for it and BTW cool username
It's really frightening how some of these stories and movies can actually parallel reality, and how in some cases it's so far off it isn't even funny.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:59:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
jesus! waoh...just...I don't have words. I am sorry.
Alas, I will not say it made you stronger but it had to have had some kind of steeling effect on you. Both mentally and physically I would guess. I hope you have found some way to turn this horrible situation to your advantage. Best wishes for a more wonderful life I would assume you have already paid your dues on the shit end of the stick.
Eh, however someone looks at it is fine by me. You are correct that it did have that steeling effect. I am in a much better position now. I'm working my dream job and I'm engaged to the woman of my dreams. (A woman who my mother attempted to convince me that was cheating on me and didn't care about me. Even tried to pull her aside and tell her I was cheating on her. What????) Joke's on her!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:34:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As soon as I moved away things got so much better. Working a much higher paying job and much, much happier in life. The woman she said was no good for me is now my fiance and we have our own place and couldn't be happier.
Hang in there! If you ever do choose to have or adopt children, know that you can and will be a much better parent to your children and that a healthy and happy relationship can exist between a child and parent (although ever relationship will have at least some baggage attached to it).
I've had the desire to be a father since I was literally 4 years old, and I've always promised myself I'd do a MUCH better job and actually love my children no matter if they're biological or adopted.
I can see how some people may think that no healthy relationship can grow between kids and parents after something like this, but I've seen both ends of the spectrum so I am fully aware it is possible. Though I do appreciate your words and reassurance!
Baggage is unavoidable, it's up to the individual to be able to handle it properly!
He was raised in foster homes and never knew his parents until he was around 40. When his parents reach out and connect with him, it's so that his dad can bond with him to pressure him into giving him a kidney. He finally does, and the dad immediately shuts him out of his life. He then spends an episode or two sitting in his car outside of his dad's house, looking for a way to talk to his dad and find out why he would do that to him.
Good for you. Being happy is the best gift you can give to yourself. Thanks for sharing the story but more importantly for sharing your good attitude. And your OSHA certification. Hats off to you good sir!!
Lmao!!! My dad and brothers would have to get OSHA certified for their jobs and they would always come home and be tell us how they would help the instructors in explaining bc they didn't really understand what it's like out in the field. You sound like good people.
Dude they don't know shit about it, it's so stupid. I could look around in the building I'm in and point out half a dozen things wrong but nobody gives half of two fucks.
Truth be told, if OSHA was followed 100%, people would die more than not.
That's really weird, and well, stupid and ignorant. And scary. Most organ donations happen after death...and often the match has to be on more than blood type, it has to be tissue type which is more complex.
I absolutely do not keep in contact with her. She is dead to me. She tried to get in contact with me a few times with the "woe is me" bullshit and passive aggressive jabs about how I never appreciated her as a parent and "a mother's work is never appreciated!" Every time I told her to stop talking to me. The last time she did I told her that if she attempts to contact me again that I will contact the police and disclose every single bit of child abuse and neglect she's done as well as file several harassment charges against her and that the evidence I have against her will make it entirely impossible for her to deny it in a court of law.
Good. I have a NMom (gonna do a quick advertisement for /r/raisedbynarcissists here) - one day I will go full no contact. Happy to hear that's in the past for you. It truly amazes me what people are capable of.
I've been to that subreddit before and honestly it just infuriates me so much I can't sub. (Not because the sub exists, but because the stories there make me see red. How could a parent be so shitty?!?)
Better than I ever thought it would, actually. I'm working a great job and I'm engaged to a wonderful woman. We have our own place and moved far, far away from my mother.
I mean I don't know, just sounds like you have a unique, if not a little fucked up story. I think that means you should tell it for the amusement of random strangers online.
I honestly don't know. The very hopeful part of me says it's very rare and almost never happens, but the skeptical side of me is afraid it happens more than it should.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit you win, if I were you I would routinely send her elephant shit in the mail when she's in the hospital
My mom forces me to take the last piece even if I don't want it. She'll make breakfast and there'll be one piece of bacon left and I've got 6 on my plate already and she's eaten half of one, then she makes me take the last one even though I actively don't want it.
Daxx22 ยท 1663 points ยท Posted at 16:46:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I believe it. I know she is extending her life somehow. I at first thought it was feeding on our happiness leaving only negativity. She likes to make my cousin cry, which I admittedly find funny.
"/u/holythunderz, you should really watch what you eat wink wink."
20 mins later "Have seconds /u/holythunderz, you barely ate! Don't you want butter on your steak?".
You see, that's more polite, my grandma will straight up tell me I'm fat. And inform me that I need to be eating better and then dump candy and shit into our cart for me (I take her grocery shopping because she can't push the cart, in turn she buys me groceries too).
"Oh, oliviaandhunter watch out you don't want to eat too much bread, you'll get fat."
"Oh, oliviaandhunter you've barely touched your plate, eat more!"
So true, I grab just a little food and she looks at me and insists I take more, while shaming me for my protruding gut. For her anyway I think it's a mentality she developed from growing up poor in WWII France.
This smells like manipulation to keep you dependent somehow.
TO keep you under the thumb.
Slowly eating at your self esteem the fatter you get.
I don't know anything.
That's about right, but I'm not sure the reason. She's worse to my cousins. Likes to tell one of them that she's an absolute slut making her cry all the time, and call the other one stupid. All to their face. Thanksgiving is fun at her house.
Your Grandmother sounds like an awesome person. /S
When i come into contact with awful People i will try to understand and fix.
It just my dogood idealistic view of the world that anybody can be fixed.
It doesn't work moet of the time but hat i have learned is that there usually a reason why People are as they are.
typhyr ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:13:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a little overweight, and my mom insists I eat her oversized portions since I'm a "growing boy." I'm 21. Whenever I don't eat it all she's like "you don't like my cooking?" People can be ridiculous sometimes.
My mom does this, but now at my age my wife just says "you know you're not hungry any more!" and gives me That LookTM and I'm just caught in between their bacon slice Cold War every time. My mom doesn't like bacon and my wife is a vegetarian, I'm just the innocent bystander now critically confused as to whether or not I do indeed want that bacon.
Protip: Side with your wife. She's the one you have sex with. It's the people who reply to your comment that have sex with your mom.
Iorith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:24 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But it's bacon.
Tundur ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:39:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom got a variety of baked goods as a going away gift after quitting her job and she insists half of the stuff in the box is mine, including the red velvet which is pretty much get favorite dessert
I'm 21 and in a 3 year relationship. My porbably-eventual-Mother in law does this all the time. Being the only young guy in the house, I end up with like half a pot of mashed potatoes at the end of every meal.
She took care of you your whole life and for years you relied on her for everything. Now you're grown up and can do things for yourself. She is just over compensating because she misses feeling needed. Eat the damn bacon.
enyoron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
25. My mom ostentatiously gives me the last piece so I can go through the motions of saying I'm too full to eat it so she can eat it guilt free, making sure it doesn't go to waste.
And here I am and my mom either hides the chocolate and sweets (and raspberries which I'm MOST upset about) until I find them (then tells me not to tell my dad which is fine because GUESS WHAT I FOUND THE DAMN CHOCOLATE) OR opens up MY chocolate and "promises" to give me a new one (which never happens).
I'm telling her she owes me a chocolate bar (she does, she ate 1.5 of my two chocolate bars, and I split that last 0.5 with my dad!)
my mom just did this to me last weekend. My husband bought me a candy bar and when she noticed, she wanted it. Went to bed a few hours later, the next morning we're talking and her dog starts chewing on something. Turns out it was the wrapper of my candy bar that she ate when I went to bed. Thanks mom!
Yep. And if it weren't my mom I'd be overly pissed as opposed to just pissed. Because now I want a chocolate bar. (I'd get one but I'm moving out at the end of the week and don't really want to go back for more groceries).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 27 and my mom will still give my dad and I last piece or bigger pieces.
"A mother is a person who seeing there are 4 pieces of pie for 5 people, promptly announces she never did care for pie." Tenneva Jordan
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:49:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Im 27 and the last birthday I had with my mom she told me if I wanted a cake I should have brought my own.
[deleted] ยท 1211 points ยท Posted at 16:34:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Growing up, we were really poor. My dad would often be away on business trips for months at a time.
On my birthday, we celebrated by having fresh fish (which is really expensive in the area where I grew up so we got to have fresh fish around twice a year). My mom cut me a big piece of fish where there weren't many bones. I told her that we had to share the fish evenly so I tried giving her half what she gave me. She refused repeatedly saying that she didn't like it, and that the fish head and stomach was her favourite. As a kid, I thought "oh okay then, if that's the case..."
Years later I had some fish head and stomach for myself and it was absolutely disgusting...
There is actually a Korean folk story about a mother and son relevant to that. The mother and son are very poor and when they eat fish, the mother only eats the heads and the tail. She tells her son, "These are my favorite parts of the fish."
The son grows up and gets married, and is excited to buy fish for his mother for dinner. He tells his wife to specially save the head and tail for his mother. His wife is uncertain but he insists.
Finally, the adult son proudly presents the fish head and tail to his mother, the best he can buy her. She looks over at him, sighs, and says, "You're an idiot."
I'm not kidding. I think that's how the folk story ends. At least that's how my parents told it to me.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 18:20:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are some really funny ones that aren't particularly whimsical or fairytale esque. (i have a few books that are collections of fairytales and folk tales.) My favorite is probably the one about the three sons who notice their widowed mother is cold all the time. One night, one brother wakes up and notices their mother sneaking out of the house. He follows her and watches her wade through a cold river to get to the house of a widower in their village, where she spends the night before coming back through the cold river in the early morning. Hence why she is always cold.
The brothers discuss the situation privately and make a little stepping stone bridge in the river so that their mom can get laid. She is no longer chilled by the river :)
Anyway I much prefer that to the depressing one about people who leave the elderly in a valley to die... That's another famous one
A lot of those folktales are really grim ones about filial piety. That one is about a village that is having a terribly difficult winter with limited amounts of food. The working adults come to the conclusion that in order for them and their children to survive, they will have to sacrifice the elders, who no longer contribute to the labor of the village. They make the difficult decision to carry the elders up a mountain and then down into a valley (something involving carrying the elderly on their backs).
One man carries his elderly parent and deposits the parent, and begins to take off the harness that he used to carry his parent to also leave it behind, when his son pipes up and says, "Don't forget that. I'll need that for you one day." Ashamed, the man picks up his parent and brings the parent back to the village.
Just to show I'm not making this shit up, here is a citation.
I remember when I realized that my mom was doing this as a kid. Now that I have my own kids, I never deny them anything I'm eating. They can have all the bacon, McDonald's fries, steak, ice cream, WhichWich they want from my plate. I really don't get people that yell at their kids over food, there are bigger issues to deal with.
Your dad was on paid business trips for months at a time and you guys were still poor? I mean I know it's possible but usually jobs that send you out on months at a time pay relatively well. Unless it was like a menial job like construction but even those paid pretty well.
It sounds like you have a great family. Good on all of you. Can I suggest you make your mom a card and thank her for all she's done? She would cherish that forever.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:27:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am currently attending college in the states, every mothers day I mail her a card and always bring some gifts from the states back home. Not just for her, but my dad as well of course.
Filipino by chance? I was doing some renovations for some Filipino folks who were a friend of my boss. One day the mother of the household(there was a married man and woman, it was either his or her mom) told me "Tomorrow you bring no lunch. Every day you eat sandwiches. Why? Ill cook you a lunch. im thinking "Fucking right, I love trying new foods and |I love other cultures foods, so why not. Never had Philippine food."
Next day at lunch I was served a fishhead and some weird bubble tea which tasted gross. Sorry But I just could NOT eat that stuff. I had no idea how to even start on working on the fish head, I had a few nibbles of what very little meat I could get off it and then my coworker ate it for me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, I'm ethnically 100% Chinese. But we peeps over here in Asia, doesn't matter where you go, eat very very VERY strange things most, if not all, of the time. And 99.99% of the time, Westerners will not be able to handle it.
In our family, the joke was always that grandma (then mom, now me because I'm the mom) preferred burnt toast and chicken wings. It's fun to see that same element in different cultures.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Chicken wings are consumed by the tonne in America.
Unless you mean wing tips? They also seem to be a delicacy in China.
I was pretty broke one week, but wanted to treat my 2 kids. We went to Pizza Hut and I got them 2 personal pizzas and nothing for myself (what cash I had left I needed for gas). Oldest kid doesn't realize until the waitress sat their plates down and he's like, "miss, you forgot my mom's." And I'm like, "no, it's ok, I'm not hungry yet, so you guys eat your pizza and enjoy!" And he just kept side eyeing me during the meal. He saved me his crusts. Sobbed when they went to bed that night.
I understand that, but there is also the hide from the kids that I am starving myself so you can eat because we are so desperately poor aspect. Get a small or medium, and mom could nibble on one slice the whole meal and keep the eldest from realizing...
It was to treat the kids specifically. I remember how excited I got being able to go to McDonald's and get a small fry all to myself once a month instead of having to share it with two siblings.
Even though a large split three ways has more fries for each of you and your siblings than the small you were so happy to have? (McD's large fries is about 4x the amount of a small if I remember correctly)
I'm just saying, at my local pizza place you can get two personals for $4.50 apiece totaling $9 before tax, or a single large for $8 before tax. The large is at least 2x the food of two personals.
It wasn't about getting more food, it was about not having to share something. When you grow up poor you share EVERYTHING. Sure, I may have gotten more when getting a large fries to split, but that's not special. That's just having another thing to share with my siblings.
Put it this way. Would you rather spend three dollars to buy a tub of Ice cream when out at a parlor with two friends, which gets you more, or would you rather buy the cones which are one a piece and not only that but you get to pick your own flavor?
I mean, I'm a broke twenty-something with a service job and little sympathy for my friends' palates, so if I was buying, I'd get the cheaper, larger tub and make them eat whatever flavor I chose, b/c money doesn't grow on trees. But I do get your point of how a small child might not be so focused on the economics of a given situation.
dextroz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:47 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think the point he's making is that sometimes going 90% of the making-them-happy from 10% is more than good enough. The extra 10% by giving them personal pizzas while you starved and cried at night took away from that 110% happiness you were giving to your kids. It's diminishing returns after a certain point. Your kids would not have cared for personal size 2 minutes after the pizza came in. Besides, you can always personalize half the pizza for each in a medium as well. OP didn't do anything wrong - there's just a slightly more practical way to consider with no tangible downside and equal happiness.
Sometimes, to make things fun, parents skip the critical thinking teachable moment. Childhood is such a small window where small things can make big memories, so why not indulge that sometimes? If someone wants to let their kids believe in the magic of Santa or splurge on something dumb once in a while because it makes their kids smile, why not? It doesn't mean that the rest of the year is lacking in important, heavy life lessons.
Red_sled ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:22:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep this is what I would do. Or treat them in some other way.
For example I used to get a pack of instant cocoa for a dollar, the kind where you get 8-10 packs of instant cocoa. Get a couple things of whipped cream, store brand is usually 2/$4. Make the cocoa, put a huge amount of whipped cream on top, and kids are in heaven. All for only $5. In the winter my kids called them 'mocha-mochas' and in the summer (cool the cocoa) they called them 'cocochinos' LOL
Hey, I hope you're in better times. Although I don't have kids, I didn't have any money in my bank account for three days straight. I remember surviving on 3 slices of pizza, one salad, and one bottle of mountain dew. It's hard.
My parents always tell me that it absolutely sucked having kids in communist Poland because you simply couldn't get many of the cool things that Western kids could.
I don't waste money, but late night pizza runs are probably one of my favourite things as a family. I remember driving all the way into the nearest big city at 2am just to go for pizza with my kids and my wife, just because my son is an idiot that suggested that we do it and his dad is an even bigger idiot that agreed.
Argh, I came here to see hilarious lies that mothers tell. All it's doing is making me feel guilty about he I take all this shit for granted. A personal pizza is like "meh" to me. I would want like breadsticks or something with it.
I think if you raise them right, poor kids will grow up to be the best kids. (Although a lot of those parents are bad). I can definitely tell as a middle class kid that I'm spoiled and not as grateful as I should be.
I tried that once...it was a waste. The kids didn't like it, and I did a fantastic job on it, if I may toot my own horn. They're picky AF. Plus, part of the treat was going in to sit down at the restaurant like "real people" according to my elder boy. I guess you're not real if you don't go in? I dunno, kid logic.
But things are better now. But...they still don't like my homemade pizza, sadly.
Yesterday I made chicken nuggets and fries from scratch. The kids ate the fries, took a bite of the chicken and wouldn't eat more. They can pack away a lot of fast food nuggets but mine are gross?
In my family, no one takes the last piece. We call it the "[item of food] of shame" because you will be shamed if you eat it, apparently. So the food ends up getting split into smaller and smaller sections, and finally mom designates someone to eat the last bit.
People who marry into our family think this is ridiculous, my cousin's husband in particular. He just takes the last piece. It's a relief, no more polite arguing.
Oh god the polite arguing that never goes anywhere. My family is exactly like this too but at least there's me, the trash can, who always eat the last piece because everyone's too busy fussing about not eating it. You're welcome.
Oh my god something like this happens quietly in my home. My husband and I both refuse to take the last of something. More times than not, I'll just leave it for him. But then he sees it and decides to be polite and fair, so he takes a bit of it and leaves the rest. Our daughter comes along and does the same thing, except the amount that's left is now super small (but not technically gone) and nowhere near a normal portion. So then we end up with boxes of cereal containing a teaspoon of cereal, or a plate with 1/2 of a bite of cake left on it that no one will eat and eventually goes bad and I just throw it away. It's like a silent little polite war going on in the house. I don't blame my husband for it, because his dad used to scream at him or beat him and his brother if they took the last of something.
I feel for your husband... :/ Still happens though less with the hitting these days.
If people could please just give me the exact amount of food they want me to eat and then leave me alone that'd be great because it makes me SO anxious if we're sharing a packet of something or whatever and no one has said how much they want.
33, she still tries to make sure I'm eating right.
Woman, I have a child now, of course I'm eating right. But I'm not going to turn down a roast dinner on a Sunday or homemade cakes and tea whilst you give your grandson cuddles so I can nap.
I realized I had a really good mom when it occurred to me (when I was like 21) that the most selfish thing she ever did to us as kids was tell us that artichoke hearts were bad for children so that she could eat them all.
This never changes, my mum is currently planning a family trip for her 70th. She keeps asking me if everything she chooses is alright, and asking me what I'd like to do. I keep telling her I want to do what she wants to do and I'll just go along with it as it's her trip.
Her brain can't handle that, 40 years of motherhood have conditioned her to put everyone else before herself. She just says she'll ask my sister and see if everything is alright with her too.
When we're on it I am going to make her choose everything and see her get increasingly uncomfortable with trying to work out if her option keeps us all happy at once.
No, she knows what she wants to do (like go to the zoo) but she's just putting us first. She will work it out, but if we tell her one thing she will put that that first so I'm not.
Nah I've got this, she knows what she wants to do (it was her idea to go on the trip to this place in the first place). She's just going to check what we all want to do before she makes her suggestions so she can take them into account. By not giving her other ideas (which she'll prioritise) she'll just so what she wants to do.
swordo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
if your parents are anything like mine, you'll have better luck planning the entire out yourself and then modifying it with your mom. unless she is on top of things, no 70yr old i know can use excel/slack/collaboration tools that well. pretty much if you see her get uncomfortable, she probably needs some help...(hint: your help)
Nah she's shit hot at this stuff, she's actually a natural with technology, whereas my dad falls to pieces and gets angry. She is really good at googling to finding out to do stuff, we've never told her too but she just has the common sense.
For example I gave her an old iPad last year (before she was just using a desktop) she Insisted she didn't need it but I insisted she should have it. I went home and she texted me a few hours later (from the iPad) to say she was currently syncing her contacts from Hotmail (I didn't hint she should do that).
Give her something technical and she will figure it out. She planned a 4 week trip around New Zealand taking in 8 different locations for her 65th. Googling things and booking trips is her forte.
And just remember how lucky you are that you can say "most" and "always" in that sentence. Because it isn't always the case for more people than you think.
I don't say it bust anyone's bubble, just to be appreciative.
Due to health restrictions there are a lot of things my mother can't eat -- sugar, flour, some kinds of dairy to name a few. She always has to measure out specific portions of everything and basically never gets to just indulge in good food. Never stops her from busting her ass going all out making gourmet-level stuff for us. She's a fantastic cook and she can never have any of the wonderful food she makes, but that smile on her face when she sees how much her family is enjoying the meal makes me feel like a million bucks.
I don't know, my mom gets a little protective of her food....
The_Fad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 25 years old. My mother LOVES cheeseburgers, to the point where if she is offered a burger with no cheese more often than not she will claim she isn't hungry even though we know damn well she hasn't eaten and will just secretly sneak some other food later that night when we're all distracted.
When I was much younger we were very poor, so just as a small effort to stretch our groceries further my mom and I, when we had burgers, would split a slice of cheese.
To this day that woman will not have a cheeseburger at home with me unless I split a slice of cheese with her.
It's completely ridiculous, but I love her to death.
awoelt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Telling your kids Santa is real isn't a joke. It's for the kids because you love them.
Not so great when you find out at 26 that she's done it all these years and she resents you for it, blaming you for the loss of a hypothetical life she's crafted in her head that she thinks was an actual possibility if I hadn't absolutely begged and pleaded and cried and scream and practically threw a tantrum asking to be born so I could ruin her happy future.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Meanwhile, my family always eats incredibly fast, but without a fail, one piece of something delicious is always left behind. We will eat an entire box of chocolate in 3 minutes and then the last piece stays there for 3 days until someone decides it needs to be eaten and it might as well be them.
It's a competition to eat the fastest, then to see who can hold out the longest. It's really weird.
Just remembered when my mom went out of her way to beat me until she fractured a finger (had a ring on it) hitting me and then started kicking me for hurting her hand.
Growing up, we were super poor, always just me and my mom. My mom started dating this well-off guy when I was about 10, and long story short, he visited, threw out tons of our food, declaring it "awful, cheap stuff "you shouldn't be eating this crap". Then used ALL our food stamps for the month on cookouts, lobster and expensive steaks, then left her a week later without paying her back.
We had -NO- food left, just seasonings, condiments, taco shells, a couple ramen cups etc. for nearly 3 weeks, until her new stamps came in. We scraped cushion change and bottle returns (like 4 bottles, all we had left) just to buy a loaf of bread. I had to ask the neighbor for spare change so we could get some peanut butter.
At this point, we had one can of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup left. It was the last "nice", packaged thing we had, after 2 weeks of living on peanut butter sandwiches, toast, freezy pops, and ramen cups.
My mom and I both fought over who would eat it. By that, I mean neither of us would. She had a desperate need to feed her kid, and I had a need to act like everything was fine and I wasn't hungry, because I knew my mom blamed herself for what happened.
That can sat in the barren cupboard for as long as we lived there. We left it as a reminder of how bad it can get.
When my husband met my parents for the first time, he brought a homemade apple pie, because I'd told him that it was my mom's favorite. Each person (my parents, husband, me, and my sister) each got a piece of pie for dessert, and there was one piece left. My mother hoarded that slice somewhere in the back of the fridge until she thought we'd all forgotten about it, and then ate it herself. She will never give up the last slice of apple pie now that we're grown.
When I was old enough to use the oven and cook/bake by myself, it became ingrained that you never, ever, ever take the last piece. That's mom's piece. Last piece of cake, brownie, crumble, crisp, casserole, lasagna. No matter what, unless it's been there for a few days, mom always gets the last piece.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess my Mom once got fed up with me stealing all her food. One time I heard her eating something that smelled delicious and crunchy, so I went up and asked her what she was eating. She said "my teeth". Next time I lost a tooth I tried to eat it. It wasn't nearly as appetizing as I thought it would be.
With me and my mom, it's a back and forth of "No no no, I don't need to eat it, you have it!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have to plan and strategize during meals with my mom because we both love the same things and are not willing to give them up; for example, the crispiest fries or the pizza slices with slightly burned cheese at the edge of the crust. Every meal with her is like stepping into the thunderdome.
When my brother and I were younger, my father(not his) lost his job for several months and we were very poor. I remember having Dinty Moore Beefstew 1 night for dinner and my mom giving me and my brother all of her meat chunks because "she didn't like them".
Years later, I am now a father and it clicked with me 1 day that she was doing this to make sure My brother and I were getting the protein and extra food that growing boys need and she would go hungry.
swordo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
not my story but at church, i was in the office one day talking to the secretary (think 60+ yr old). we somehow got to the topics of mothers and she mentioned that when she was younger, her mom also said that, gave her kids the meaty pieces and took the bones for herself. time rolls around for mother's day and as a gift, the kids gave her the bones thinking it was her preference. the story ended there since my friend started to cry
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Looking back, i always wondered why mom never finished the last (best) piece. She'd always give it to me. Now I know. Thanks mom
kisses fingers, points to sky
Tubaka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Either she was offering you the last piece of bacon or the ass end of a loaf of bread.
My parents would do that a lot. A lot of times I wouldn't even want the last piece because I was full but they would think I was making it up so they could have it.
Even if my children have just eaten a meal or finished their own treats, I will 99% of the time let them have the last bites of what I have. Growing up, my mother never shared treats with me. She had special sodas and cakes and things hidden from us while my siblings and I ate ketchup sandwiches and drank tap water.
Yeah, I'm 22 and I actively have to trick my mother into getting what she wants instead of just going along with whatever I or my sister want and eat around that.
Sekular ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Last piece for the child, but the biggest piece if for dad. You know better than taking that one. Mom will turn on you quick if you go after it.
My mom would do this, then make us feel guilty when we accepted. One of my clearest memories from being five was my mom giving me the refried beans off her plate when I wanted seconds and then giving me this look and said "I guess I won't have lunch then." I was so wracked with guilt I couldn't bring myself to eat them but did so because if I didn't I'd make everything worse... then I went into my room and sobbed for starving my mother.
I hate that my mom does this. I'm an adult. Just be honest with me. I don't need it. I'm just going to finish it if you won't because I don't like wasting things or putting away the last 1/10 of something.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My MIL routinely has "extra groceries" when we visit that she says she won't use in time. My mom would clean her cabinets out for us if we even hinted at being short on food. Moms are super heroes.
I love my kids but I will sneak that last piece for myself. I learned this was terrible when my son lost his mind so now we share the last one. Sometimes.
romps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:22:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She made two and ate one in the kitchen.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom had a slice of pie last night when we went out for dinner. My sister wanted a bite. My mom ate 3 more bites and offered her the entire rest of the slice. Offered it up to the rest of the table when she declined. And she's on a major dessert kick so I know she wanted it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is the real reason in any family that isn't desperately poor. All these weak morons are sobbing to themselves about their moms' "sacrifice" of trying to stay thin and attractive.
Every time I had a birthday party when I was a kid, my mom would take allllll of the presents that people brought and put them in a bag. She called it a "grab bag". Then at the end of the party, every kid would take something out of the bag home with them leaving me with no presents. She told me that all birthday parties were supposed to be like that. You can imagine I was slightly peeved when I finally realized
This would bother me if I were one of the other parents, since I picked out a present for that kid and paid for it.
mirshe ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 20:20:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I was thinking - I know that I would've been offended as someone invited, since I try to put a lot of thought into a good gift, even if it's someone I don't know very well. To just say "fuck that, everyone gets someone else's gift" is inconsiderate at best.
scroom38 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:31:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on the age, the kids might have just said "I got a neat toy out of a grab bag" and the parent didn't question it.
That's ridiculous reasoning. I can't believe someone would have forgotten so much what it was like to be a child, to be so disconnected from their own child. I hope you get many cool gifts for your birthday now.
My Dad stopped giving christmas gifts to the neighbor kid when he learned that the gifts were being withheld until the kid 'earned' them, months later. A gift is a GIFT. The kid should not have to pay for his own christmas presents. It really upset him to have his gift used to manipulate that poor kid like that. They were 7th Day Adventists or some shit like that who apparently didn't do Christmas, so gifts were not something they wanted their kid to get used to.
Poor kid. This reminds me of a family I worked that would manipulate their son to spend his gift money on them to buy fast/junk food or to pay bills. I've seen them return gifts too in exchange for something to benefit themselves. He was such a sweet boy that he was proud to do it. I worked with them for probably 3-4 years. They even treated "necessities" like they were gifts. The parents always told the kid he didn't deserve new clothes/things because he never took care of anything. All of his clothing had holes and stains and he was constantly made fun of in school. They had money to spend on stupid shit like mom going to BINGO every week. They were always spending their money on luxuries that I couldn't afford with my $12 an hour pay. I often made joking comments like "man I wish I could afford that." Sucking off of government money and getting disability checks for themselves (purely capable of working) and for their child (with ADHD). Im sorry, but if you're capable of walking and sitting and watching Maury and Family Feud all day, the you should be able to find a desk job and answer phones or something. Also, I'm not sure why having ADHD grants you an $800 check. Anyways, this was just one family - I saw similar instances so often. I'm a little off topic and have started ranting, but damn. Have a good day!
...and that's why I could never do work like that (i'm guessing social work/counseling?) and have the utmost respect for those that do.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:14:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My aunt found out recently that the Xbox 360 she'd gotten for my step brother was given to his 4 year old brother by my step mom because he wouldn't quit band to join a sport.
I collect comics. have since i was a kid. but when i was young, I had no money so my parents would pay for it.
Then they would take it away as punishment, for indefinite periods of time. that would make me go looking for it. Then they realized I found em, and ripped them all up. When I complained they said they had bought them and it was their right.
So, we worked out a system where I used to do small chores around the house for very little money (go get the newspaper at the end of the driveway, do the dishes, vacuum the rug, stuff like that) and my parents would pay me like, 25 cents per task. I could save up like 3 bucks a week if i was enterprising.
So I would take my 3 bucks a week, and go buy comics, which were, at the time, like 75 cents a comic. busted my 8 year old ass to buy four comics a week. but they were mine.
then my parents would get mad about this or that and then rip them all up saying they i was wasting my money on trivial things.
This is the kind of thing that comes back to them when they are old. The way I was treated as a child has a direct bearing on how I treat my parents today.
Comic books were how I learned to read. By the time I went to kindergarden, I could already read because I read comics at home. That parlayed into a lifetime of academic achievement. Your family just tossed them out as junk? The one thing that motivated you to work so hard around the house? Those comics were GOLD and they took them away from you just to feel powerful. What morons.
I'm sorry about your shitty parents. They completely missed the point about how to motivate and educate children. Comics are one of the cheapest and easiest ways to do that.
EllaSea ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 18:31:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've had a lot of crappy birthdays but that really pisses me off.
DonJovar ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:25:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So what happened when you went to your first birthday party at someone else's place and found out that the birthday kid got ALL the presents?
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:53:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I'd say that's just your mom being a really shitty fucking prick in the first place. Not funny and it doesn't teach your kid any type of ideals or anything. There was really no reason for her to do that unless she wanted to be mean.
Being the youngest of four, I was told I was my mother's "precious surprise gift." When I was about 20 I was telling a friend about it. My mom overheard and said " I don't remember saying that - I must have been drinking and in a very good mood."
Thanks, Mom.
Collect a metric shit ton of pidgy and pidgy candy, pop a lucky egg and mass evolve them, you can evolve about 63-65 in the span of 30min (lucky egg timer) and that nets 1k exp an evolution
-Aech_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:20:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck
Z0bie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just another fucking Zubat.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
More like is the xth egg I just hatched going to finally be shiny?
ksemel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know right? And my comment was basically a copy-paste rendition of countless other "Oh." comments! WTF I guess you really don't need creativity to rake in that sweet sweet karma. Just timing lol
That sucks. A friend of mine didn't know his dad wasn't his dad until high school. The worst part is, everyone knew. It was his cousin (2 years younger than him) who let it slip. She thought he knew. It really hit him hard.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:10:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. I didn't find out that she'd lied about who my biological father was until I was 21. All that time, I thought the man who raised me was my father.
Thameus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 5049 points ยท Posted at 16:01:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Grew up in the deep south. My mom told me, when I was very young, that I couldn't drink coffee because it would turn me black.
EDIT: For those saying my mom was racist-- that's not really the conclusion I've come to from knowing her for a very long time. I think she was just blindly repeating what her parents told her when she was little. It's the deep south version of "coffee stunts your growth," as wildly inappropriate as it was in hindsight.
Unfortunately there was a quiet undercurrent of mild racism in every aspect of this part of the country, so innocent people say things that they don't quite comprehend all the time.
As an Hispanic, my mom always said coffee would stunt your growth. That's why Aunt C is only 4'11".
Nikcara ยท 331 points ยท Posted at 17:11:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm white and heard this all the time growing up. Joke is on my mom though; I loved coffee as a kid and I'm still about 6" taller than her.
janisaf5 ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 17:30:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I used to tell my younger sister that her love of coffee would stunt her growth. Not only did I end up as the shortest family member, she's got a good 5" on me.
It was immensely aggravating when we were teenagers and she started asking the parents to leave the "tallest one" in charge.
Horkpork ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 18:26:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should be pissed off at the plummer or milk man or whoever the short fuck was.
If my parents left the tallest one in charge at age 10 I would have been in charge of my 18 year old sister.
dfn85 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:58:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oppositely, I hated coffee growing up. Didn't start drinking it until college, and even then it had to be milky as all hell. I stopped growing at 5ft4 in 8th grade, while the rest of my family are giants.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:53:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
6" longer too.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:06:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
More like, 2"
Nikcara ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:20:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well I'm a girl so I lack a certain length.
Unless you're talking about hair. I totally have more than 2" of hair.
My mom told me the same thing. My father would tell me behind her back though that coffee would cure my asthma. I think he did it to piss her off when I drank coffee and had the shits. It made him laugh.
I'm now 2 inches taller than my mom, still asthmatic, and my father walked out when I was 11. I also don't like coffee. Turns out I inherited my mom's intolerance and coffee makes me sleepy.
Edit: Fixed a word.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:32:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Caffeine used to be used as a sort of curative for asthmatics. Has something to do with constricting blood vessels and the airways or something.
It can be used in a pinch when symptoms are flaring up to help ease some of the wheezing and painful breathing, but doesn't do anything for actually controlling asthma and you'll probably still need a rescue inhaler if the symptoms come back. Coffee and pop only work for so long.
Fabgrrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've chugged a cup of coffee or a soda while having breathing difficulties due to asthma - it helps a little.
My Aunt said the same thing to me as a child. I now see her at all of 4'11", my 6'2", and I thank her. Because can you imagine if I hadn't drank coffee?!
GeoffFM ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:15:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In her defense, there was a commonly-held medical theory in our patents' youth that caffeine stunted growth in children. They probably just never read differently.
Well, long term coffee consumption is associated with minor bone density loss. It was believed to be more prominent in the past, so that's perhaps where this idea comes from.
The thing is, though, I'm not sure what you think any of this has to do with our education system. Are you all knowing? No? Failure of our education system, then. Such a shame.
Are you all knowing? No? Failure of our education system, then.
That is not the point of a good education system and it is a shame that you might even think it is. Skepticism of presented information and the ability to do your own research and come up with falsifiable hypotheses should be what a good education system prides itself upon. And the amount of comments of people just saying they just now learned that coffee consumption isn't actually associated with physical stature disturbs me.
No one told me this was a lie until I was 16 or 17. I went my whole life purposely never trying coffee even though I wanted to only to find out that was a big fat lie and I was always going to be 5'1" my whole life. On the plus side I need much less caffeine to carry me through college now and know how to handle my mornings like a fucking man.
Lol. My first horrible thought was you guzzling coffee right before basketball tryouts.
[deleted] ยท 1360 points ยท Posted at 16:41:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well that reminds me of a story related to this. My mom told this old wive's tale to my brother as well. Difference between him and me is that he can't keep his fucking mouth shut.
So we're in a restaurant after church, and there's a black family sitting at one of the tables near where we're getting seated. A big one too-- looked like cousins, uncles, grandparents, the whole lot. And my brother, bless his little heart, takes one look at them and says, very loudly, "Wow momma, they must've been drinking a lot of coffee!"
They laughed for a long time. My mom, on the other hand, wanted to crawl under our table and die from embarrassment.
mtbt ยท 938 points ยท Posted at 17:29:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Indian here, the south of USA sounds so fascinating. I would love to spend some time in a hick town, where there is just one main shopping area, one high school, where therew is a sheriff patrolling the street and the people are still racist.
[deleted] ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 18:19:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Word of advice. Don't call them hicks. That'll piss them off.
Fuck dude, if that's all you want just go literally anywhere in Haryana.
I mean the one high school will probably be a lot shittier than the one high school in an American southern town, but other than that basically the same.
Edit: also in an American town you probably won't get away with bribing the sheriff
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OP here, this was actually in a very large city in the South. Of which there are many. I have since moved far away, to a place where the biggest town in the county has a population of 8,000.
There are lots and lots of Indians here in the South. Don't let these foolish people dissuade you, the south is mostly not White. But, don't treat any of this like it's some old television show. It is nothing like that. Especially the younger generation (while some may parrot their parents) have generally positive attitudes towards people of color. Southerners are very friendly, many in very isolated towns may be ignorant towards you or your culture, but they won't lynch you or beat you. That's all a misconception.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 19:00:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Not gonna lie to you, the furthest south you want to be is southern ohio. Nothing good can come from foreigner's that aren't white in the south.
That sheriff; he's throwing you in jail. Those racist; they are going to hassle you and run you out of town. The main shopping area; gun shop, grocery corner store, a gas station, shooting range, and a church. Jk... Kind of.
Edit: the lack of a serious tag led me to believe people might realize this isn't a serious comment at all.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:46:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am Puerto Rican. Just came from Northern Georgia. met some southern folk that were super friendly with me. The most racist thing I heard came from a girl from Cape Cod.
Your use of semicolons confuses and infuriates me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahah sorry about that. Still not sure when to use them.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:34:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My rule of thumb is to use them where I could use a period if I wanted to, but wanted to use a longer sentence to lay out a more complete thought. So instead of saying:
The police department was always busy. There was a lot of crime in that town.
You could say
The police department was always busy; there was a lot of crime in that town.
Wow that's an ignorant as fuck thing to say. I live in a town as deep south as it gets in Louisiana, and while I'll be honest, racism is still a thing, but it's from such a small minority that you don't really notice it. The majority of kids at my high-school are very accepting of everybody. And honestly, most of the surrounding towns in the area are very similar, even those small hick towns, of which there actually are many.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just shocked people keep thinking I'm serious, I mean it is the worst stereotypes of the south after all. Lol.
The subject of that sentence is "the difference" and "between him and me" is a prepositional phrase modifying the subject. Prepositions use the objective form, and the objective singular first person is "me," not "I." Or am I wrong in this?
Not every time someone says "and me" is incorrect and it's a classic case of grammatical overcorrection. Note that I don't even think you should poke fun at grammar regardless, but if you're going to do it at least understand what you're doing.
I'm not sure that's a grammatical error. You would say "the difference between us," therefore "me" would be correct, no? Seems like you've hypercorrected it.
I'm Southern and I have never heard as much casual racism here as I did when I visited my wife's family in Indiana/Illinois/Michigan. White southerners grow up, go to school, and typically work with lots of black and hispanic people. Sure racism is ingrained in the culture here, but most have actual experience with minorities. So, the younger generations are significantly more tolerant and seek diversity much, much more than their parents/grandparents. Mid-westerners just seemed to not have ANY experience with black people and would just generally say openly racist things.
Kids are awfully mortifying. This reminds me of a time a large woman sat at a table near us at a restaurant and my 4 year old brother shouts, "Wow daddy, she eats a lotta FOOD!" He was super impressed with her, but my dad was ready to hang himself.
Before I was born there was a hurricane (i think Gloria? I'm not sure.) and my dad had my brother with him at a commissary or something. Two black men in camo from the national guard walk by and my brother goes "Look Daddy chocolate GI Joe Men!"
My dad thought he was going to get his ass kicked but they just laughed at him.
wh33zi3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:50:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That reminded me of something my brother said on a vacation one time. My parents, brother, and I were in ATL for a show my dad was playing. I think we had been there for a couple days at this point when we decided to hit up that big mall downtown. In the process of trying to find a parking spot my brother, from the back of the van, asks; "mommy, are there going to be any of our people in Atlanta." Oh boy, luckily we were in the car still. Doh!
Ashkela ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As your mother should be feeling. That was awesome.
From the south, yet clearly racist mother is not only embarrassed by her obnoxious kid, but also embarrassed by her racist statement being blurted out loud... but y'all are from the south. Something ain't adding up here.
Edit: I meant I'm from the south and I've never met a racist that was ever ashamed or embarrassed by it. They always seem proud to be a racist.
I think I remember seeing a film or something set in the South during the civil rights era and this older white woman walks into a diner or cafe and asks for a coffee. The guy behind the counter asks "How do you take it?" and she says "As black as that boy over there." and points at this really dark skinned black kid.
I answered one above. A while slew, mainly about high school boys starting to get caught fucking coffee grounds, and some non cohesive thoughts about "drinking coffee" being a euphemism for taking the BBC, and it didn't make him black, it explained why he was part black.
I think that would be tea, or maybe seltzer water.
Iorith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of milk.
Kendo16 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:00:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy cow!
Iorith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a good way to moove up in the world.
Kendo16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard of pun threads but,a pun bovine? That's dairy different. Hope you steer this in a good direction.
Iorith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I might be able to Steer my post into an Udder one, but I tend to Butcher them when Prodded. But I'm sure you've Herd this all before, so I'll stop Milking it and put it out to pasture.
Kendo16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought I was the pun king but, I merely grazed you.
Iorith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's my Brand of comedy, and I like my puns to be Well Done.
Kendo16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eh,that pun wasn't that rare. There's a lot at steak here. Gimme your A1 puns. You don't want beef. You're at your cow tipping point.
When I was like 4 my parents took me to Costco to buy a basketball hoop for some ridiculous reason. I remember saying, "I wish I was black because then I could play basketball and jump real high!" and got in huuuuuuge trouble. But I sucked at basketball, so joke's on them!
ahahahahaha mine told me I will grow a tail, and that DEFINITELY didn't stop me from drinking coffee, but I was kinda sad when they told me that was a lie to make me not drink coffee. I didn't believe in Santa when I was a kid, but this got me just as hard.
Ooh man, my mom accidentally made it sound like I could become black by staying out in the sun too long (miscommunication with when she tried to explain that their ancestors had lived in a sunny place while our ancestors lived in cloudy place, plus my knowledge of how you'd get a tan) so I thought the reason she always told me to wear sunscreen was because she didn't want me to become black.
Obviously, I'm just super pale and burn under florescent lights...
My mom grew up in a very small town in Louisiana, one where there weren't any black people. Once when she was very young, they went to a bigger town and saw a black lady at a bank. My mom, having never seen a black person asked why she looked like that. My grandma said that it was because she was "colored" and apparently my mom was still learning colors and the only one she knew was blue. So she pointed at the woman and yelled "Blue lady! Blue lady!" which of course made my grandma want to crawl underneath something.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:10:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be Sudanese by now if that were the case
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:37:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
South Sudanese*
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me too man. I drink a pot a day sometimes. No shame.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:19:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting, I grew up in the northeast and my mom told me it would stunt my growth
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:03:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is your mom my grandma?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:39:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe. Is your grandma freakishly young and did she live in Alabama at any point in the 90s?
My dad told me if I drink the wine from havdallah (whatever, just a Jewish custom) I'll grow purple chest hair. I was traumatized. I have literally never even sipped it since in my life... I'm a 31 year old woman.
My mother told me that it - along with coca cola - would stunt my growth, and I'd never get to be a grown-up. I didn't drink coke until I was seventeen or eighteen, and I still don't drink coffee more than once a month now at almost thirty.
I'm 5'0" and 90 lbs and people mistake me for a high schooler all the time, so I might as well have enjoyed the goddamn soda because I still have to argue with strangers that yes I'm fucking old enough to do this/go there/buy that/etc.
Tooch10 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:35:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I only heard the 'coffee will stunt your growth' line
yeah i know, but my takeaway when i was a kid was just the blanket "naughty".
jokoa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad told me it would stunt my growth.
melance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where I come from in the deep south, we drank coffee milk from about the age of 5.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, this is a common lie?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I heard it a few times in the deep south in the 90s.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom just had me taste coffee one and never again because I thought it tasted like ass
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom probably gave you Folgers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah I just hate coffee. My parents drink Illy, I just don't like it. Same way my dad had me taste his beer- German import. Tasted like ass to me because I was like 10
In our family it was "it will stunt your growth." My gramma actually believed that. Mom just didn't want us hopped up on caffeine.
_Ryman_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was just told it would stunt my growth and make my toenails yellow.
d_frost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
๐
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a white person, when I was a kid I wanted to be black just like Samuel L Jackson. My dad said Michael Jackson changed skin colour so that meant I could too.
That lead to very bad sunburns (I thought black skin was just burnt skin).
Why not just make some deliberately bad coffee and let them try it once? Then they'll think all coffee is horrible and never ask for it again!
jseego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the twist: OP is asian.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol mine was similar, said it would turn your toes black. Other fun ones: "If you play with yourself, you'll go blind," and "If you sit too close to the TV, your eyes will pop out of your head."
My paw-paw was a heavy coffee w/milk drinker. Brought it everywhere with him in a thermos. I'm told he used to put some in my bottles as a baby. Pretty sure that's why coffee doesn't the upper feeling it seems to do everyone else. I just like the taste.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My paw-paw was a heavy coffee w/milk drinker. Brought it everywhere with him in a thermos.
I'm not sure how to tell you this but I think I'm your paw-paw. I lug a big thermos around with coffee + milk almost everywhere I go.
My mom used to teach preschool and she told the kids that if they drank too much chocolate milk, their eyes would turn brown. (I'm sure she would have used that on us too, but we just weren't allowed to have it.)
Blu64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always told me it would make my knees turn black. Hmm...
My great grandparents used to say "cotton-picking fingers" instead of "mitts" or just "hands" if you were touching something you weren't supposed to. My mother almost said it during a class(she's a teacher) when she realized the implications of a phrase she had known all her life.
Can attest. My southern grandmother used to say "Haven't seen ya in a coon's age!" which I didn't realize was a pejorative for "black person" until I was in college. I always thought it was some bizarre reference to raccoons.
I think I got the less racist version of this, I was just told that coffee makes you ugly. I still to this day don't drink coffee, but mostly bc it can be expensive and I hate it
Dude, even if you're not intentionally trying to be racist, you can still be racist.
z500 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me about the story my dad tells about when my sister asked why he was so dark compared to the rest of us (we mostly got our skin color from our mom). He told her it was from drinking too much coffee.
I have learned that racism is ingrained in our society and certain communities.
People you don't typically consider racists, actually echo racism from what they've learned from their families and friends in their community. Although that may not necessarily mean they are racists themselves, they do say or do things that are racist, without realizing it themselves. I wouldn't go so far to say that it's their fault, but I wish people would realize this, rather than blatantly denying racism.
alfis26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol, my dad used to tell us the same thing as kids but with Coke instead of coffee "if you drink Coke you will turn black". He's pretty racist though.
Currently in the south (from New Jersey) and the people are murdering my sanity. I thought all of these things were 80's stereotypes...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I recall one little town we drove through in Alabama to get to the beach. It was like going back in time-- cotton fields next to rickety wooden buildings, dirt roads, dusty people walking around in overalls, even saw a Model T Ford on the road. It was a bit surreal.
espo1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No I didn't mean just the stuff around, more the PEOPLE. All of you have interests that are in like 80's movies. There are jocks, smart people are looked down upon somehow, the tougher you are the cooler you are, and all of the girls go to the football games and like study the schedules. Also what is with the fricken interest in cars? Some things I've heard are "I just had to turn on that engine!" and "It was a ____ _____ 1975 _____ and it was BEAUTIFUL." I have no idea what the other three words were. But people down here have like orgasmic reactions to turning on/listening to cars. One kid in my school who moved from the south asked me if I wanted to hear his dad's new vintage car's engine. I was like "No thanks...." and quickly ran to my parent's minivan. And jesus christ the accents. And the slow talking. And the over enunciation because people can't understand you in your accents and therefore speak slower. This girl at a register took like 10 seconds to say "That will be 17.95". And like real seconds. A second is longer than you would think.
lol u wot m8. she most certainly was, racism is inherently based on ignorance which is what she was. mild racism isnt mild when everyone has those beliefs
Coffee would turn your knees black and if you held your pee too long, your eyes would be yellow. It's pronounced cinanimanim(animanim, however many you wanted to add). If you eat raw chicken or don't wash your hands after handling raw chicken or ground beef, you'll get "the salamander." Oh, and don't make that face, it'll get stuck that way.
Yeah, my dad grew up in the 50's/60's and was super radicalized by about '68 and worked in journalism/publishing and is still almost embarrassingly liberal but will still (when doing a lot of sweaty, physical work) occasionally say, "I've been working like a nigger" or say that someone is "Chinese" rather than make any real effort to distinguish between different east Asian nationalities.
He's not even remotely (negatively) racist in his actual thoughts or behavior but I think he still perceives an "otherness" there that is largely disappearing in younger generations. (It's shifting more to classism these days)
OMG, my mom told me the same lie too. My mom is black, but she's more cafe au lait with tons of lait while I'm your everyday 60% cacao dark chocolate. She told me she was drinking coffee so she could get dark and that I was dark enough and didn't need to drink any coffee.
It worked. I had to work my way up to drinking real coffee in adulthood after abstaining from it 100% when I was younger.
Jhavul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Read that as "Grew up in the deep mouth."
what has become of me
hibbel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't overthink it.
When I grew up in western Germany in the 70's, us kids used to call the "Ladykracher" by a word no adult ever taught us. It must have been handed down from one generation of kids not understanding why it's bad to the next generation of young kids for a quarter of a century, so about ten generations of transfer. Quite impressive in its own way.
We still called them "Judepferz" or yew-farts.
Looking back, there was not a single right leaning parent or nazi among the parents of my friends or classmates. As far as I know, none of us understood it. We were pre-teens. It's just what they were called among us and I still have trouble to feel bad for giving them a name I didn't know had such connotations.
TL;DR: Bad words or phrases can stick around and the innocence of their use shows, in a way, that while the word remains, the original intent, meaning and insult had long been lost.
I think she was just blindly repeating what her parents told her when she was little.
Oh, so your grandparents are the racists! /s
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:17:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry bro I got your back
From the south, yet clearly racist mother is not only embarrassed by her obnoxious kid, but also embarrassed by her racist statement being blurted out loud... but y'all are from the south. Something ain't adding up here.
Well.......apparently not
And I don't think it's that bad either. Just like others have said here she did choose him and raised him in (what I hope were) good conditions
TL;DR: Type in ยฏ\\\_(ใ)_/ยฏ for proper formatting
Actual reply:
For the
ยฏ\_(ใ)_/ยฏ
like you were trying for you need three backslashes, so it should look like this when you type it out
ยฏ\\\_(ใ)_/ยฏ
which will turn out like this
ยฏ\_(ใ)_/ยฏ
The reason for this is that the underscore character (this one _ ) is used to italicize words just like an asterisk does (this guy * ). Since the "face" of the emoticon has an underscore on each side it naturally wants to italicize the "face" (this guy (ใ) ). The backslash is reddit's escape character (basically a character used to say that you don't want to use a special character in order to format, but rather you just want it to display). So your first "\_" is just saying "hey, I don't want to italicize (ใ)" so it keeps the underscore but gets rid of the backslash since it's just an escape character. After this you still want the arm, so you have to add two more backslashes (two, not one, since backslash is an escape character, so you need an escape character for your escape character to display--confusing, I know). Anyways, I guess that's my lesson for the day on reddit formatting lol
CAUTION: Probably very boring edit as to why you don't need to escape the second underscore, read only if you're super bored or need to fall asleep.
Edit: The reason you only need an escape character for the first underscore and not the second is because the second underscore (which doesn't have an escape character) doesn't have another underscore with which to italicize. Reddit's formatting works in that you need a special character to indicate how you want to format text, then you put the text you want to format, then you put the character again. For example, you would type _italicize_ or *italicize* in order to get italicize. Since we put an escape character we have \_italicize_ and don't need to escape the second underscore since there's not another non-escaped underscore with which to italicize something in between them. So technically you could have written ยฏ\\\_(ใ)\_/ยฏ but you don't need to since there's not a second non-escaped underscore. You would need to escape the second underscore if you planned on using another underscore in the same line (but not if you used a line break, aka pressed enter twice). If you used an asterisk later though on the same line it would not work with the non-escaped underscore to italicize. To show you this, you can type _italicize* and it should not be italicized.
It's all good. We all learn the ways of reddit eventually.
FuzzyWu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
His Mom told him he was adopted when he was 18! That's pretty fucked up. If you mention it when it comes up as they're growing up it's no big deal, but lying to them and then springing it on them way too late is like she's trying to screw with him.
Dyesce_ ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 17:10:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not awful. OP is the child she chose. The other ones she just got stuck with.
[deleted] ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 17:30:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This.
I have one friend who told her daughter at a young age, and I feel this seems to work best. (It also worked well for other adopted kids I know who knew they were adopted at a young age.) She went the route of "We loved you so much that we wanted you to be in our family." Which worked great. Her daughter knows she's "from another Mommy's tummy but belongs in this family" so to speak.
Now I have another friend who has adopted siblings and the family didn't tell them until their late teens, which turned out not so well. Both were very withdrawn for awhile but are slowly coming around. Both are incredibly loved but they took it more of an act of deceit, which is understandable. I would be pissed if someone waited so long to tell me.
The one did ask me if I knew she was adopted and I wasn't going to lie, I watched this kid grow from an infant to a teenager so I countered with "I remember the day your Mom brought you and your sister home, she was so ecstatic to be blessed with two beautiful baby girls and couldn't stop holding you." And this really helped her mood, seeing the confirmation that she was family from someone who wasn't related but was around a lot. She then asked why no one said anything and I said "You were always part of the family, to us you were never adopted, you just came home to where you belonged."
Dyesce_ ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:35:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read a little tale of a boy that was dissed because he was adopted and said this to the other kids like "my Mom choose me. Yours just got stuck with you" which shut him up for good because he was an unwanted unplanned child.
Nothing's awful about adoption, I think it's a great thing, I just think its bad that their mum made a joke about it without hem knowing that they were adopted
idejmcd ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:14:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say a lie by omission. She says he was her ""easiest physical birth out of all of the kids." but omits the part where he's adopted. It's an intentionally misleading comment, which IMO counts as a lie.
Why did your parents wait so long to tell you that you were adopted?
[deleted] ยท 2829 points ยท Posted at 17:18:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
poizan42 ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 17:38:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Playing the long con
czhunc ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 17:40:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad went out for cigarettes when I was 7 and he's still out there. What'd you do, get lost going to the gas station or something? Haha, what a dork. Please come back.
My dad was adopted, but grandma and grandpa told him when he was really young, so he was raised like it was the most normal thing in the world. Blood relations be damned, family is family. I can't imagine how much it would fuck you up to have a bombshell like that dropped on you so late into adolescence.
My ex-wife and I told my son at an early age that I had adopted him. I really didn't want to as I selfishly did not want him to not think of me as his daddy.
In hindsight, it was the best possible outcome. I made it point to let him know that he was my son because I chose him. He was mine because I loved him, not due to the randomness of genetics.
As he got older, it became a joke we shared that the 5 greatest roman emperors were all adopted, and if there was a crazy ass fuck up like Nero or Caligula, you can be damn sure it was genetic. ;)
My coworker found out in her 30s, after both her parents passed away. Her life didn't fall apart or anything, but it left her feeling a little lost and resentful that she couldn't ask any questions about where she came from or why her parents chose to adopt.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:26:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa. What the fuck? Was she close to her older sister? I was adopted too and if I found out my older brother was really my dad all along I would be extremely angry and feel betrayed.
Friends couldn't have a baby so they adopted a boy. When he was really young they told him "We really wanted you, but mommy was sick and couldn't give birth to you, so another lady did it for me." Like you said, grew up like it was a normal thing. He's 20 now and wanted to meet his birth mother, which she declined.
My little sister was adopted and she's known for as long as she can remember, as we didn't want a bombshell to be dropped on her. We (Well, my parents. I was 6 at the time) explained she grew in a different lady's belly, but she's my parents' daughter, and my sister, and we love her regardless
Now I'm 23 and she's 17, and I'm literally tearing up writing this because my baby sister is leaving for college soon :-(
I don't know if this is their reasoning, but it might be because they didn't want him to think that he was less a part of the family because he was adopted. I could see siblings using that as ammunition growing up.
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 19:55:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, you're adopted! You're not even one of us!"
"Well, at least I was wanted! If it wasn't for that ripped condom you wouldn't even be here!"
Maybe I had better sibling but my parents told me I was adopted when I was around 8. Nothing really changed because I've been with them since I was two weeks old and they are my parents. My older siblings never used it as ammunition either.
My friends parents neglected to mention that he was adopted until about 4 or so years ago. He's 43. He's... a little bitter about it. Better than he was when he originally found out, but i don't think he's still too happy about it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
NDaveT ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:32:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's very uncommon, and strongly recommended against.
Depends on when. One of my friends has an adopted sister that wasn't told until she was 18, sometime in the 90s. I think that it was far more common then, then it is now.
It's definitely fucked up, but we know better now. Adoption used to be really taboo, I wouldn't be surprised if OP was born before the 80s
NDaveT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I knew kids my age who were adopted in 1970. It wasn't taboo in the US then, at least among our circles, and conventional wisdom was you told the kids early.
king484 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
seems risky, since most children will start seeing their parents less after 18 (college). So if they react badly it would be harder to communicate with them
That makes so much more sense. I guess some parents are reluctant to tell their kids at all until they start asking questions around the teenage years.
GayFesh ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:49:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, the lie was not telling you you were adopted. Technically you WERE her easiest birth.
Jrixyzle ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:29:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Common lie
Yeah, this happened to me and like 5/6 of my close childhood friends.
I don't understand this. Every singe adopted child I've met is well aware of them having been adopted, no matter what race they were. Maybe some people just have a hard time telling the kid?
Rekt. - Also I'm sorry you had to find out the truth my man
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom has been telling me this since I was pretty young o_o doesn't help that I look and act nothing like my siblings. Only thing that makes me think I was actually my parents' kid is the fact that I look a lot like my dad, apparently.
My daughter was adopted by me (step mom) and I always tell her she's my favourite because she's the only one that hasn't put me in the hospital.
iFeedz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit.
lhedn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am really curious about this, since my sister is adopted, but she has known that pretty much alway (also it's pretty obvious since my family is totally pale and she's from Vietnam). So are you the same "tone" as your family and was this something your parents lied about or did it just never come up?
And finally, how was it being told that you were adopted?
I don't know if this is a joke but you hear about parents 'revealing' to their kid that they're adopted a lot. I don't understand this at all. If you tell the kid as soon as they can understand it's not a big deal and probably strengthens your family in the long run. By having a big reveal later on in life I can imagine it must make a big part of your life feel partially like a long-running lie and be really emotional. What's the point.
maawen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry for laughing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was adopted too at the age of 3. But, I knew very early I was adopted. Why did they wait until 18? I met my sister at 14 and brother shortly thereafter.
Funny thing: My mom has been saying for a while that she felt like she was run over by a truck when she had me, but my younger brother was much easier. I never really thought much of it, because obviously the second child will be easier than the first.
My relationship with my mother isn't the greatest though...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom has surpassed your father in joking ability. That is rather impressive.
calgil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even if you were biologically hers, surely you don't mean she said that when you were a kid? 'Hey snookums, I love you, you were the least traumatic thing to emerge from my birth canal.'
Interesting. My aunt did the opposite, when my mom told stories about the complications when she gave birth to my sister and me, my aunt told a similar complication happening during the birth of our cousin. She was adopted. Sadly my aunt is vehement on keeping her in the dark about the adopted part even after my cousin asked my aunt three times if she was adopted.
Fajit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is obviously not the most common. You don't deserve the upvotes!
I'm not adopted, so I probably don't get it, but why wouldn't you be okay with it? Naturally it'd be a shock, but...
Your birth parents wanted to give you a better life than they would have provided (be it due to not wanting a child, not being able to afford a child, or any other reason), and another family did want you and treated you as one of their own.
Probably because he/she was told about the adoption so late.It would probably mess with your mind, finding out you're not who you think you are.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:25:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've known my whole life that I was adopted. When I was younger, I did some online research about adoption and how it works because I was curious. I found a lot of stories about people who didn't find out until 18, or 25, or until they needed to request a birth certificate for something and it shattered them for a while.
Family is part of the core identity of a person, so when that person finds out that not only is their knowledge of their family incomplete, but it was hidden from them...it can cause some identity issues. An adopted child has two parts to their family identity, their adoptive family and their biological family. A lot of adopted kids have burning curiosity about their biological families, especially mothers. It helps people to know their roots. Hiding the adoption can make it seem like it's shameful, when it's not. I think it also invalidates the sacrifice the biological family made on behalf of the adopted child, because it was a sacrifice to give them a better life and kids should know that someone loved them so much to do that.
Being adopted isn't a curse at all, it's a fact of life and it's given so many kids new chances. I just worry about the people who find out late in life because I don't want them to feel the hurt I just described.
My personal belief is to explain it to kids as they grow up. When they start asking about babies and what happened when mommy was pregnant with them, tell them in terms they can understand and then answer their questions in age appropriate ways as they grow so that they will feel comfortable being part of their adoptive family but not feel like their biological family was meaningless.
Finding out the people you grew up with for 18 years weren't your "real" parents and you had biological ones out there somewhere... not to mention being lied to for 18 years
But they are my "real" parents. I think that's something that people who aren't adopted don't understand. My parents are my parents. They were there when I learned to walk, they took me to my first taekwondo class, they sat through my countless piano recitals, they helped me graduate high school and then college, and were there for every moment of my life. I recently met my birth father and it's more like meeting a long lost friend, or a sibling, though I've never had siblings so I wouldn't completely know. We have a lot of similarities for obvious reasons, but he's not my dad. My dad is my dad
My parents told me when i was about 6 that I was adopted. If my parents had waited until I was 18 to tell me, that would definitely cause some trust issues. Hell, they didn't tell me I had half sisters until I was like 13, so that was kinda a shock. I woke up one morning, happy thinking I was the only one from my birth parents, and I went to sleep knowing that I was a fucking uncle.
I was 10 when I found out I had 2 older siblings given up for adoption and it was jarring. I felt like the whole entire family knew something and hid it from me my whole life. It's like, "what else are you not telling me? What other bombshells are waiting to drop?" I wish it had just been a normal thing they told me as I grew up.
Good for you!
It sucks to feel like you're protecting a shit dad from the consequences of his neglect; but kids really internalize things, and the longer they go without the anger associated with parental abandonment, the better off they'll be later.
I don't wanna write a huge post about how I know this- just wanted to encourage you.
newloaf ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 17:14:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On those rare occasions my dad would come to pick me up for a visit, from all of an hour-and-a-half away, I would get sick to my stomach in anticipation, just sit on the couch with my overnight bag. Half the time he didn't show up at all. My mom was dead and I lived with my aunt and her husband.
I didn't figure out until I was in my thirties that he didn't want me around so he could live his lifestyle, and I'm very glad for that. The weird thing is that I actually get angrier at him over time instead of understanding him, especially after having a son of my own.
stufff ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 18:37:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, wtf, your mom died and your dad just abandons you to aunt and uncle? Fuck that loser.
Yeah I found I've gotten angrier about my parents' major fuckups the older I get, because I get a better understanding of just how fucked up it really was. When you're a kid you think all families are like yours, it's when you realize how wrong it all was that it starts to fuck with you emotionally.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:43:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly where I'm at. Had some things open up recently from nearly 30 years ago that I now get to deal with. It can be rough. Hugs to anyone and everyone that has shit from childhood come back to haunt them down the road.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:04:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad was the same way. but for months at a time. I still don't know what job he held during my entire childhood, but I only remember seeing him maybe 10 times. When my parents divorced it was a huge custody battle. My dad forced my Mother into bankruptcy and ruined her credit. My siblings and I lived in my grandparents garage for 3 years while my mom got back on her feet. It's been 8 years since I've had any contact with my dad and I don't regret it.
newloaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:14 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a tough row, but it sounds like you've got strong family on your mother's side.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fwiw, grief really does do squirrelly things to people. We all cope with loss differently.
People tend to say "they'll figure it out sooner or later", but underestimate how much better later can be. There's a world of difference between realizing these things at 5 and 15.
Jdm5544 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:55:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
From my personal experience. DO NOT IGNORE THE ISSUE UNTIL THEY FIGURE IT OUT. If you do that then the anger, however unfairly, will be aimed at both biological parents. I'm not saying to explain it to a 5 year old but 15 is a bit to old. I wish I had been told when I was closer to 10. Instead I realize it when I am 13 in the worst time of puberty, my mother and adoptive father are on the verge of a divorce. Needless to say I was a shitty little ball of teenage anger.
But you know I make a little joke in school and that is the reason I get sent to the guidance counselors. None of this other crap that they knew about.
From my experience this just looks like the mother wanting to avoid being the person telling the kid and having to deal with the kid being upset. It has nothing to do with protecting the kid.
I know some people with crazy parents, people who went out and knew there parents were just crazy did a lot better than the people who had to involve themselves in a lot of lies about their parents craziness.
Knowing that one parent is simply selfish and self absorbed led to the kids having a much better handle on life than being told lies to supposedly "protect their feelings" when in reality over time the kid gets both a sense of abandonment and develops trust issues feeling that they're constantly being lied to.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:54:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure i wouldn't be on speaking terms with my parent that did this if the other hadn't lied to me.
Yeah nothing worse than finding out you've been loving a monster for your whole childhood. Abetting a bad father with a mother's lies ain't the way to build trust.
Smh parents these days wonder why their kids can't wait to stick their asses in a home.
There is a big difference between lying to your children, and not giving them facts that they are not ready for.
The child might very well internalize their father's "bad" actions as part of their own selves, and feel that they are intrinsically "bad" people.
(As an example of one way that telling your CHILD daddy is a felonious mysoginistic, substance chasing, train wreck can go wrong.)
This reminds me of my dad. He didn't show to pick my brother and I up for a weekend visit so my mum packed us into the car and drove us to his place. His car was there but when we knocked he didn't answer the door. I was worried so I tried to peek through the window to make sure he was ok. He was inside with some other woman trying to hide from us. That day sucked considering I was only 8 at the time.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:15:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
He eventually got better and stopped being a dick. He's old now, and I'm almost in my 30s. I held a grudge for a long time but with time I got over it. He's a lonely guy who had a lot of problems (drinking, gambling, my mum cheated on him and left him for his best friend). Now that I'm older I can sympathise with how he used to be. He's like 65 now, lives alone, no friends, no hobbies, just work, I'm the only one from our family who speaks to him. My brother totally cut him off but I just couldn't.
Thank you. That is very kind of you. I don't have a choice but to do it - believe it or not, it's easier knowing that this is the only choice. No what ifs, only "let's do this."
but in all seriousness i've had a horrible past few days. thank you.
Acquaintance of mine had a baby at 15, but still managed to go to college and then medical school and residency before they put in hour restrictions. You totally got this.
That's a hard lie. It's hard to be the bigger person. I hate telling my child lies like this, especially "we divorced because we just didn't get along." The truth is he was a philandering piece of crap who never came home. Plus, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. It's always hard to know when is the right time to start telling the child the truth. Kids get mad if you lie to them about why their parent never saw them or the reason for the divorce. But you also get crap if you tell the truth. There was a /r/relationships post where everyone condemned the mother for telling her 15 year old that the marriage ended because her dad had cheated and her stepmother was the woman he cheated with. When do you start telling the truth?
I don't know. That's why we split too. Right now, she's too young to understand that people aren't just straight up good or bad. Sometimes good people do bad things, and sometimes bad people can do good things. I figure she'll be a young adult before I can tell her what really happened if she wants to know. I don't want to poison their relationship, but if I catch her dating someone similar to her father, we will have that talk to help save her from some life changing decisions.
My parents had some emotional infidelity on both sides but I wasn't told about it until I was probably 17 or so and ready for an adult conversation. I think if you keep it honest but vague and don't outright lie then it is ok and most kids will understand. If they are old enough to really understand that good people make bad choices and they ask, then they are old enough to know.
I think saying you didn't get along is fine. You didn't get along because he cheated. Other things you can say that are still true are that sometimes things just don't work out or we were not really happy when we were together and it wasn't good for us to be together. One thing my parents told me when I was about 8 was that their fighting was hurting us and they didn't want us to have to grow up in a house with all that fighting. That rung true to me because when my parents fought, it was the worst feeling in the world and it meant they loved me and were trying to help me, not hurt me.
My last bit of advice is to let your behavior speak for itself. My mom bad mouthed my dad over stupid stuff and it made me resent her. My dad only had kind things to say about my mom and his actions were kind and it really affected what I thought of him.
Just curious, if your kids are still young, would you tell them the truth when they're older? I'm 99% sure my parents' split (circa age 13 for me) was just mutual dissatisfaction, but once or twice my dad has dropped these infidelity accusations in some emails, and I think is still unhappy deep down about the whole thing-certainly on "never want to talk to, see, hear about or be around him" terms with my stepdad, despite remarrying himself. I don't really care all that much and it wouldn't change how I think of either parent, but sometimes I feel like I want to know. Then other times I feel like I don't care, or it's not my business to start with.
Sorry for the wall of text. And yes, mothers get so much crap, it's gross. People love to hate on and judge mothers for their every move, even when they do their best for their kids. I haven't seen it yet, but "Bad Moms" addresses this cultural trope, it may be an interesting movie to watch :)
My daughter from my ex is still so young that there'd be no reason to tell her now, but this is a question I think about a lot. Pretty much every time I have to lie. I don't know the answer. It's interesting to hear your perspective.
Good for you. It's so hard. BTDT. Mine are in their teens now and they definitely have seen the truth about their dad even though I did my best to never say a bad word about him and hid some of the more heinous shit he did from them. Best for them to realize these things themselves.
My mother never lied to me or my brother about this, but she didn't tell us either. It was never mentioned. My parents divorced when I was 5 or 6, and my fathet lived with my grandfather for many years after that. We were always dropped off every other weekend. My father was never there for more than a few hours because of "work".
Eventually I realized (around 9 or 10) that he was just never going to be there. I asked my mother if I could just stop going, and she agreed as long as dad didn't make a fuss about it. He didn't. So my weekends that were supposed to be spent with him were instead spent alone with my PS2 or computer.
Kids are more perceptive than we give them credit for. They will, at some point, realize they are not wanted around.
We're getting to that point. She's pretty good at figuring people out (which ironically I believe she got from him). I never flat out lie. He usually tells me he can't make it because of work, but is posting on Facebook about what he's doing at the same time. She idolizes him and he's an unbelievable manipulator, so if she were to ask him, he would just lie to her. I usually say "daddy just texted and he said he has to .........". She'll figure it out eventually. When she does, I want her to know that I never kept her from him, but I won't bend over backwards to make excuses for him. She has an amazing step dad that would move heaven and earth just to make her smile. She's already starting to notice which one is at her games and school events.
Sounds like you made a better choice the second time around than my mom did. Although that wasn't her fault, step dad was just good at hiding things from her.
I'm glad your daughter has a positive male role model. I couldn't imagine being a deadbeat dad to my own daughter, even if I did really stupid shit to my relationship with my wife.
Before anyone asks, we're doing fine. It's been awhile, we did counselling and are back on track in our marriage. This is also parenting advice. Just don't give up. Many things can be forgiven and worked through. Sometimes leaving is the answer, but just make sure you exhaust your options first. The biggest option you have is changing yourself (if you are the problem).
Her step dad is awesome. I also have a close male friend that is her "uncle" and takes her to movies and teaches her all sorts of cool things I know nothing about. She also sees both my parents and my ex's parents regularly. I don't love everything about the ex in-laws, but they love her to pieces and they shouldn't be denied seeing their granddaughter because their son is a idiot.
This is exactly what you should do. I'm glad you're letting her make up her own opinions instead of projecting your feelings.
My SO has a daughter, and her mom will make up lies about us all the time. Like it won't be our weekend to have her, but her mom will tell her it is. Then when we don't come pick her up, mom tells her it's because we forgot about her and don't love her. It breaks my heart when she asks why we didn't want to spend time with her, when in reality I would spend every day with her if I could. The hardest part is trying to assure that we would never do that without calling her mother a liar.
What the actual fuck? Why? Why even do that? You have to see that it's hurting the child. How do you knowingly hurt your child in an unnecessary way? I'm sorry man. Hopefully she'll figure it out as she gets older.
I'm hoping so too :( Mom has actually done and said A LOT worse things than that. I could go on for paragraphs. Every time we report those things to our case worker, she tells us that there's not much to be done but that hopefully his daughter will grow up to learn who the better parents are. I just hope she believes us and doesn't get sucked in to her mom's lies.
My brother's ex-wife does this. It tears my brother up inside and hurts their kids. As much as I want to scream "your dad is a selfish ass, that's why!" , I won't. I want to be able to be totally honest when I tell her later on that he had every opportunity to be a large part of her life.
My mom was quite transparent about her thoughts on my dad. She blamed him for stuff he didn't do. Had us both (me and my father) thoroughly convinced that he was crap at parenting.
I'm really glad I learned different before he died, when I was 27. I still miss him like hell. He had his issues (and I inherited the photo albums to prove it), but he loved me.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:43:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Flavour of the week?
Bergie31 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 16:48:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Generally means he gets a new girl on his arm constantly, and everyone knows it will only last a week or so before he's in to another one
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:56:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh... Fuck that.
I'm okay living without STDs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
shhhh
you dont get a choice
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:12:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He goes through women as often as most people change their bedsheets. I'm actually glad he chooses between them and she doesn't see him treating women so casually. No matter what, she's going to idolize him and I don't want her thinking that's how she deserves to be treated by a partner later in life.
I live like this. Because I don't change my bedsheets.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:58:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As much as it hurts to be rejected by her dad, it's probably better that a shithead like that is involved in her life as little as possible.
I think it might be worth working with a child counselor on how to help your daughter work through these feelings of abandonment. It's so easy for kids to think they did something wrong because they want that paternal or maternal approval and affection, and put all their hopes into their natural parent filling that role. I think organizations like Big Brother or Big Sister are really awesome in that regard.
I kind of wish we could just tell these kids that their parents are dead and that this absent parent is their uncle or something. All the people I know whose parents died are way better adjusted than those who were neglected because they know their parent didn't leave by choice.
Legally, I can't limit his time with her any more than it is. He usually just takes her to see his parents anyway, so she has a good time with her cousins and grandparents. We split when she was very young, so at least she's used to the idea that her dad lives somewhere other than with her, which is a weird saving grace. She has a great step dad and some awesome "uncles" (close friends of mine), so she's not hurting for adults that love and care about her luckily.
Trust me, she'll be grateful for it- I was raised by a step dad (though I call him dad) and my mum and although it still stings a bit that my dad picks and chooses when he wants to be in my life it never bothered me as much as it could've because I grew up with a loving family and knew I always had people who would do anything for me (even if I was a little shit sometimes.)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She will figure it out. I promise. It can be as easy as letting him be the one to tell her he'll be there on the phone and then let the cards fall. My father never bad mouthed my mother and coming to understand that she was an addict on my own was invaluable.
I don't doubt she will. I think we're going to let her be more involved in visit planning as she gets a bit older. I need to give her the opportunity to see it, but not shove it down her throat. Right now, I don't even tell he's coming if I can help it because he cancels last minute so often.
Ashkela ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good parenting.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:35:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a kid whose mom trash talked her dad, thank you.
My dad got his act together around the time I was a preteen and now we have a great relationship.
My fiance's ex-wife tells this to their daughter. It's not true though. The ex-wife has a new baby and I think she just wants the daughter, who is 10, to be around to help. She constantly tells us the daughter can't come over this weekend because she has x and y planned. One weekend my fiance's mother picked up his daughter to come swimming at her house. We went over to see her and she says, "I thought you guys were on vacation." Her mom's just a cunt.
Been there. Just be ready for the day she asks you why he has time for all the hobbies her dad tells her about but not for her. Mom almost swerved off the road the day I asked that question at around 8.
What did your mom say? How did you take the answer? She's started asking why we "broke up" and I've managed to come up with something honest but age appropriate. I'm not sure how I would answer that one though.
Korsola ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:55:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is 51 and she's still mad at her dad for pulling shit like that. She told me once that she waited outside for a couple hours for her dad to pick her up and when his car finally turned that corner she was so happy. And then he just kept driving down the street... Said she chased his car down the block and he didn't even slow down.
Protecting your kid from living that type of disappointment is a good thing. I hope her dad gets his shit together for your daughter but at least she's got a great mom.
Good on you for not bad talking her father. He might be a scumbag and you're right that she'll figure it out eventually, but kids know they are part mommy and part daddy and when you say daddy is a loser, they take it really personally.
You probably already understand that based on your actions though. . . I just think it's really important, having grown up hearing "you're dad's a bum/loser/idiot". He is, but I didn't know what to do with that as a kid.
She would take it personally if I said that for sure. I see parts of him in her all the time. Luckily he's not a criminal or the type of person that would require me to be more frank with her. He's just sucky at relationships (romantic and family).
good luck. I'm sorry for all that you are going to go through trying to protect her from the consequences of his actions and I appreciate the thought you put into it.
Yep. I'll never tell my 7-year-old that she hasn't seen her bio dad in 5 years because I can't know if he's shooting up today or not. I am so thankful for my partner, that she has a wonderful man in her life that's been her father since she was 3.
Props to you, I know way too many parents who will go out of their way to vilify the other without realizing it is damaging to a child. It takes a strong person to protect their child this way knowing they will have to lie and protect someone they do not get along with as well
Hegiman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Having an absentee parent sucks I'm 43 and still have moments where I get so angry because I never had a proper father figure. Protect them from that a-hole as long as you can.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:14:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that band 'everclear' wrote a songseveral songs all of their songs about this scenario
This got to me, something I've been doing regularly since he got out of prison.. it's one thing for him to lie to his kids though - and I will lie to protect their feelings, obviously not to cover for him, but don't make me complicit in breaking their hearts.. don't tell me that you'll be there so that I get them excited and build up their expectations higher.. be straight with me because honestly I couldn't think much less of you at this point! That way instead of counting down the days to the weekend when dad's coming I can plan something fun to distract them..
I reached a point where I realized I can't be the fall guy for this.. I can't be the one building him up in their eyes, when he went to prison it could have been the easiest thing in the world to take all my rage and hurt and tell the kids the truth, break him down in their eyes so that they'd never be invested enough in him again so that he could never hurt him the way he hurt me - but that isn't the way it works, they love him to bits and they think he's the biggest strongest bravest man in the world and I won't ever take that away from them. But in an effort to protect that image of him in their minds I'd unwittingly become his co-conspirator, his enabler, I was leveraging the trust and faith they had in me and using it to get their hopes so high that they'd be crushed over and over.. never again..
I don't tell them he's coming unless he's confirmed from the car on his way.. it's always a nice surprise, because he is soooo 'busy with work', I'd rather they have no expectations when it comes to him, not because I hate him, not because I want them to think so little of him that they don't expect basic human interactions or respect from him, but because I can't spend another 12 years helping him create situations which devastate them.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:00:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's got to be tough. Thank you for choosing what's harder for you instead of harder for him or your daughter.
My parents (dad and step mom) made my biological mother let me down instead of being the messengers, so she'd explain to me exactly how much more fun and exciting and important her new boyfriend was.
This also important bc people do change. My daughter's father is a recovered addict and for years he didn't see us and we were in little to no contact. After he had gone through nearly a year of treatment, he started talking to me more trying to build my trust before I let him see our child. Now her and I both rely on him and he is 100% supportive. I don't want to sound like I'm bragging, I had fucked up lows, and I did give up on him for a while, but things changed and we're happy now. I'm so glad I never said anything bad about him to anyone (my daughter, my parents, friends, etc) because it'd be a lot harder for the. to get over those feelings especially my child
Unfortunately in his case, it's a mental issue. He has "sociopathic tendencies" (doctor's words, not mine), so he's incapable of putting her first for any reason other than it benefitting him. He's not a danger to her, because he knows what expectations exist to prevent him from the embarrassment of having his visitation taken away.
I'm sorry to hear that :/ .....anyway my best to you as a single mom. I was until recently. You're doing a great job and your daughter is gunna rock it later in life bc she had you to look up to.
Thanks :), luckily I'm remarried to someone wonderful that is doing everything right for her and showing her exactly how she deserves to be treated by a father figure.
I take pictures any time my son and boyfriend are in the same vicinity so later on our son will think his dad loved him. I don't expect my boyfriend and I will stay together and I don't want our son to know his dad never wanted him around. I don't want our son to know his dad would rather spend his free time cheating on me with some dumb cunt he met on meetme rather than spending time with the toddler that idolizes him.
My relationship is going to hell and my boyfriend is a shit father. I want to protect my son from ever knowing his dad doesn't love him (partly in hopes that he'll get his shit together and be there for our son later on in life) so I take pictures when they're near each other. The pictures come out super cute, but in reality my boyfriend is always telling our toddler to get away from him. Someday my son will have these pictures and just assume his dad loved him as a baby like dads are supposed to- but I expect to be a single mom by then.
If my son figures out his dad wants nothing to do with him, it won't be from me.
Idk man, it may or may not be worse for him to grow a older and wonder what happened. He's got false memories of a typical loving father to someone who wants absolutely nothing to do with him when he's older. Some people blame themselves, especially if they remember their father to be caring and loving. Just reminds me of a Fresh Prince moment of 'how come he don't love me man?' But your the mother and have the best insight to the situation so I won't and can't say your wrong.
Well when we split I'm going to be in another state. I only came to this state for my SO's new job, which has crazy hours and swing shifts. While my son is growing up he can just think daddy's busy with work/the distance is too much/etc. When he gets older (like teen or young adult) he might piece things together, at which point I won't lie to him, but I'm hoping by then my so will regret all the time he wasted and want to have a relationship with our son.
I hadn't realized you were the same user as the others roost I replied to lol. Well seems like you've got it worked out, I think it's good that you at least leave him the option to be in his son's life before you completely decide to bounce.
I never bad mouthed my daughter's father. I lied when he didn't show up, he had to work or something. She figured it out when she was 14 or so, came to me and talked to me about it. I knew she'd see it someday, his true colors would come out. I blame his wife as much as him for him being a shitty father.
That makes me sad for you too as a mother to deal with. Good for you for not talking trash about the dad, most people don't play fair after divorce and speak ill of the other parent...even though it's forbidden in court.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:09:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As the child of a family like this, I would say that hiding me from it only made me more angry when I found out. I felt like they shouldn't have covered up how bad of a person and how selfish my dad was. A kid deserves to know who their parent really is so they can treat them how they should be.
As also a child of a family like this, I found out on my own and it NEVER diminished the love I have for my father. Yes it hurt me to gradually find out the truth that he wasn't the best husband to my mother or even the best dad (somewhat absent). It hurts me if anyone ever badmouths my father to this day, I never took it as him not loving me. He's just a flawed man. I disagree that kids have the right to know any adult business because they can easily be brainwashed by one parent against the other and forced to pick sides. They don't have the emotional maturity to handle information like this.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:49:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some kids don't some do. I think it depends on the situation entirely. Unfortunately there really isn't a definite way to go about handling the situation to make sure the child is affected as little as possible.
This is exactly it. She loves her dad. She's going to love him no matter how many times he hurts her. If she were to find out that he was cheating and confront him, he would just lie and pit her back against me. He doesn't believe he did anything wrong to this day, so it's not like he would own up to it. It would just put our daughter in a horrible position of feeling like she wasn't allowed to love both her parents.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't wanna sound stupid, but what does "choosing his flavor of the week" mean?
Make sure you're in a stable relationship before having a child, problem solved.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:41:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of people believe that they are in a stable relationship when they get pregnant. You can only control yourself. You can't predict how or when someone will change.
Women often like to delude themselves into thinking that they're in a relationship with a guy who wants to have children with them, they just assume that's what the relationship is leading to. Unless a guy says he wants kids, he probably doesn't want kids and having one will almost definitely lead to serious problems.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And what about when it's the woman who changes and abandons the child? Do you say the man was deluded? Or is every relationship break always 100% the woman's fault?
I'd say that she should have used one of the many, MANY options available to her to prevent that situation.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So the man has no responsibility or agency here? It's all on the woman to know when a relationship won't work in the future or know that she will change her mind about having kids - and the man is a bystander who is at her mercy? Come on.
A lot of kids are planned - meaning that the man was on board too and knew what was happening. You sound like one of those guys who think women are out to steal your sperm and "trap you" into raising a baby.
Men have choices too. Condoms are very effective, and if you know you never want kids, there is a surgery for that.
It's all on the woman to know when a relationship won't work in the future or know that she will change her mind about having kids...
She's the only one with control over whether or not she has a child.
A lot of kids are planned - meaning that the man was on board too and knew what was happening.
That's not the topic of this discussion, we're talking about kids who have to grow up without their father, and those kids are almost always unplanned.
Condoms are very effective...
No, they're not, they're actually pretty ineffective.
...and if you know you never want kids, there is a surgery for that.
Not really. If you're a young, healthy male, it's very difficult to find a doctor who will perform a vasectomy for you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:34:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess if you believe that condoms are ineffective and that you can't get a vasectomy [even though I have NEVER seen a man have a hard time getting a vasectomy because of age, and I know several men under 40 who have received one no problem] then maybe you should just not have sex. You seem paranoid that nothing you can do will prevent an unwanted child. Stay away from vaginas then.
The reason I brought up planned kids is because after divorce many kids absolutely DO lose their fathers (or mothers) to abandonment - they get a new boy/girlfriend and start living a new life. Look around, Im sure at least one person can confirm.
Condoms are only about 85% effective, that's pretty poor compared to most forms of birth control. I also have a child because of a broken condom.
...even though I have NEVER seen a man have a hard time getting a vasectomy because of age...
If you're young, you have to seek out childfree doctors, and they're pretty rare. There aren't even any in my state. Hell, I had trouble finding a doc who was willing to perform a vasectomy on me, and I already had a child and was in my late 20s.
...and I know several men under 40 who have received one no problem...
40 is pretty damn old. Many men are sexually active for more than 20 years at that point, that's more than enough time to end up with an unplanned child.
...then maybe you should just not have sex.
Right, because that's a realistic expectation to have of people.
You seem paranoid that nothing you can do will prevent an unwanted child.
Am I paranoid if I already have a kid because of a broken condom?
...because after divorce many kids absolutely DO lose their fathers (or mothers) to abandonment...
It's more common that they don't, actually.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, well I can see this is going to go absolutely nowhere.
I meant that the men I knew got v's well before they were 40.
I don't think all people should be celibate - but if you're extremely worried that someone is going to get pregnant when you don't want them to, and you're pushing all of the responsibility and blame onto that one person, then it doesn't seem fair of you to continue to sleep with them.
Birth control failures/mistakes happen. That's the risk we all take. Very very few people are actively trying to sabotage others. Most people would be just as freaked out as you would be by an accidental pregnancy.
I never said that most kids lost their parents to abandonment after divorce, only that many do. You acted like it wasn't possible at all because if people just chose the right partner these things wouldn't happen. In real life, that's not how this works.
I meant that the men I knew got v's well before they were 40.
Did they already have kids?
..,and you're pushing all of the responsibility and blame onto that one person...
Only one person has control over whether or not a child is born/conceived.
Birth control failures/mistakes happen.
And there are remedies in those situations.
Very very few people are actively trying to sabotage others.
I never claimed that this was the case. I said that women make assumptions and their children suffer for it.
Most people would be just as freaked out as you would be by an accidental pregnancy.
Women have options.
...only that many do.
Most don't.
You acted like it wasn't possible at all because if people just chose the right partner these things wouldn't happen.
No, I made the claim that a child is much more likely to not have a parent in their life if they were unplanned.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:09:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not all of them already have kids. If you ask around, you'll see that it's pretty common to get a vasectomy in your 20's with no questions asked. I know that it can vary by area of the country and access to medical facilities, but all in all, it's much harder to convince a doctor to tie a woman's tubes.
Im saying that I don't agree with you that only one person is responsible. I don't think we are ever going to agree on that point. I think that if a man is having unprotected sex, even if his girl is on something, he is still partly responsible because even the best birth control pill is not 100% effective. Both people took the risk to not use condoms together knowing that pregnancy was at least a small possibility. The most effective thing outside of abstinence is woman on some form of bc AND man using condoms. Both people blocking.
Men make assumptions too. How many times have you heard a guy say "I thought she was on the pill" when he didn't even ask her? Everyone can be stupid about this subject. Equality!
Okay, I guess that because most people don't abandon their kids it doesn't matter that my point was that some do and that you don't always know when that will happen or for what reason. The whole point of bringing that up was that you were talking about how if women just chose better partners kids wouldn't be abandoned.
...you'll see that it's pretty common to get a vasectomy in your 20's with no questions asked.
I did ask around, and it's not common.
Im saying that I don't agree with you that only one person is responsible.
I know, I don't care, you're wrong.
...he is still partly responsible because even the best birth control pill is not 100% effective.
Day after pill, abortion... she still has options.
I do agree that he's responsible for having unprotected sex, but a woman can't expect a man to devote his entire life to her and her child if he never wanted to.
How many times have you heard a guy say "I thought she was on the pill" when he didn't even ask her? Everyone can be stupid about this subject.
Never. I've only ever heard guys say that the woman claimed to be on the pill.
I guess that because most people don't abandon their kids it doesn't matter...
Most DIVORCED people don't abandon their kids, probably because both parties agreed to have children.
The whole point of bringing that up was that you were talking about how if women just chose better partners kids wouldn't be abandoned.
It has nothing to do with who they're choosing, it has to do with when they're choosing to have a child. They could be dating a guy who would make a wonderful father, but if he's not ready to have kids, or doesn't want to have kids with her, her children are going to have a rough time.
orlanthi ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:48:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, not delusional because married people with kids never split up. Because relationships never change over time. Because people don't go nuts and decide they just don't want all this responsibility anymore. Because everyone has a crystal ball and can tell that none of the above will ever happen. I stand by my "Oh, fuck off."
I'd be willing to bet that this women (along with most women who have kids without fathers) was never married to the father of her child(ren) and never even discussed having children with him.
Because every instance that I know of where a man isn't involved in his child's life, it's because the woman decided to pop out a baby without being aware of whether he wanted a child with her or not.
I was married and he wanted children tyvm. He didn't even want a divorce, but he refused to stop sleeping around. If you think every divorce is a result of people not being in a stable relationship, you're deluded.
Ignoring the fact that you sound like someone who is just making up stories because you hate men....
I never said anything about divorce, I said you brought a child into an unstable relationship. If he was sleeping around, that wasn't a good situation to bring a child into.
klethra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Related: if she says she's on BC, be a gentleman and wrap your tool anyway. You never know when it's going to come out of the woodwork that she takes it "when [she] remember[s]."
source: nine month pregnancy scare that turned out to belong to another guy.
I don't know, some of them are pretty good. Condoms are only about 85% effective in practice.
uttplug ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry that your partner sucks. To make such a commitment as raising a child then to just brush it off... But work is just as a confusing a thing to a child as his flavour of the week. You should just be honest with your child, it'd be the ethical thing to do - they often have little to no innocence and will internalize things they don't understand as their fault.
She understands work. I've worked her entire life, including getting called in at all sorts of weird hours. She understands that work pays bills and sometimes it comes up at inconvenient times. If he was no part of her life, I would be a bit more forthcoming with information, but she sees him every other weekend(ish) so it would be wrong to poison that time with him.
10S_NE1 ยท 3141 points ยท Posted at 13:06:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sex is something only married people who love each other do.
[deleted] ยท 3953 points ยท Posted at 13:24:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People ask for the source to verify the information and to evaluate it rather than receive someone else's evaluation. It is logical and has been for thousands of years.
My parents got married about 6 months before I was born. Interestingly, that was right as they realized that A: my mother was pregnant, B: she was going to start showing soon, and C: my grandfather would kill the both of them if he noticed either of the former two points before they got married.
jpallan ยท 95 points ยท Posted at 18:25:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother, a Roman Catholic from the 1950s, always said that first babies can come any time after the marriage, but the second one will take nine months.
Heh, my parents were married in May, and I was born early in the following January. It took me way longer than I care to admit to realize there is only 8 months between those.
Will_BC ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:32:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You could've been premature though. I think I was like 6 weeks early? My parents were together longer than 9 months though
Oh, yes, absolutely. They were engaged when I was conceived, and didn't find out about me until after the wedding. Just was a little entertaining to hear about "JESUS says no sex before marriage!" after I'd done the math.
kennyl ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:52:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Er, what I meant to say was that we've been married for 15 years and your older sister is 15 years and 9 months old."
The concept of sex at any point in time didn't exist in my household. If my mom had her way, her kids would be convinced of The Stork into adulthood. She referred to human body parts as "thingies" and "stuff in that area". For the longest time I thought words like "boobs" or "nipple" were actually bad, nasty words. Hell I got yelled at when my mom found out I was using my own money to buy tampons because they could "kill me" and were "inappropriate for little girls". Her drunken attempt at a birds and the bees talk with me resulted in me getting grounded because sex ed got to me first. I was 16.
Man, a drunken birds and the bees talk using "thingies" and "stuff in that area" would have been hilarious.
Daxx22 ยท 165 points ยท Posted at 16:41:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Until you realize this constitutes far too much of what passes for "Sex Ed" for many children. And then the parents wonder when the kids get pregnant at 14.
Nambot ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 16:47:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"How old are ya now? *hic*"
"Sixteen, err Mom, are you drunk?"
"I'm not that drunked. Now I want to *hic* tell yous all about the thingies."
"The what?"
"The thingies! You know, *hic* the thingies. The thingies that people do when they want a baby."
"Oh no... Mom, I really don't-"
"Nonsense, it's fine. You're becoming a woman, so it's time you learned all about what to do when you get married an' pregnant."
"But mom, I really-"
"No buts, now listen, when a mommy like me, and a daddy, like your uncle Rick loves each other very much, or even just when we're bored, or sometimes when we're mad at each other and need to *hic* make it up to each other, that's when we really make sweet-"
"Mom!"
"I'm gettin' to that point sweetie. Anyways, so when you loves someone, and you wants to be pregnant, you jus' haveta have them put their stuff in your thingy. Course you have to make their stuff hard first, otherwise the stuff won't come outta the stuff."
"Mom, we already learned about-"
"Don't interp- inturutu- stop-me-talking or you're grounded. anyway, so when you want it you need to make his thingy hard, and your area needs to be ready. You'll know when it's ready, but it's defernately not before you're married, unlike that slut you call Aunt Tina."
"Mom, you're drunk."
"I'm fine, I've only had two bottles of red and a glass of rose. Now what was I saying? Oh yeah, so you need to be married, and then what happens is you have him put his stuff in your thingy until his stuff comes out of his stuff an' goes in your ... area, and then several months later you get to be a baby."
"Err?"
"*giggles* have a baby. You already were a baby. You're my baby, and I love you so very much."
Nambot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually it was entirely unintended. Rick was just the first nane that came to mind. Besides, is Rick ever mentioned as being an uncle? Grandpa and father sure.
An0therB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's an uncle in at least 37 timelines in the Central Finite Curve.
kennyl ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:49:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"So, honey, when a man and a woman love each other very much, the man sticks his thingy into the women's stuff in that area. That's how you were born, sweetie!"
"But what about the blood coming out of my privates?"
"Oh, that? Don't worry about that."
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:41:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
VierDee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:59:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
u_torn ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:53:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Im picturing something that looks similar to drunk history.
lwierd6 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:19:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sign her up for a TED talk.
Siphon1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:15:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Id pay money for this
Oberoni ยท 207 points ยท Posted at 15:10:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
tampons because they could "kill me"
To be fair, if she was that skittish about her body she might not use them and only knows them from when toxic shock was a thing. Something like 40 deaths were connected to their use.
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 16:14:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But that was back when they tried to make some miracle long-time tampons that you could practically wear the whole period. Wearing normal tampons (like 5-8ish hours) is as safe as it can be.
Of course most people don't know that if her mom grew up during that time it's understandable. Still, I don't think they would sell as good as they do if they went around killing people.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:11:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:21:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, you're even supposed to change the silicone cups every 12 hours even if it isn't full. The regular tampons are 4-8 hours, and for some girls, they don't last that long in the early days of the period.
There's a reason many women aren't friendly with their uterus.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:34:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is a baby boomer and this wasn't her primary reasoning for saying no to them. While she did bring TSS up as a reason why I shouldn't use them as a kid, she said "girls have hymens and they're only supposed to be broken by their husbands after they get married. If you use tampons, it will break your hymen." Meanwhile, at the time she said that my close friends were 13 to 14-years-old and already had experience giving BJs to dudes and getting laid. Needless to say I took my allowance to buy tampons anyway.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 17:13:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know someone who died of toxic shock within the last five or so years it is still a concern
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:31:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did they leave it up there for multiple days?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:44:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No they were long term sick, after just over half a day they were feeling ill and put it down to sickness and by then it was too late
My mom told me they were only to be used after you've been having sex, because it would take your virginity and stretch you too much. I was terrified of tampons. A girlfriend had to help me insert before going to the pool when we were 14, it was terrifying with that background knowledge.
It sounds pretty cool, like a good punk band, but a feverish bacterial infection isn't cool at all. They should rename it to something less edgy.
By way of example, think of Tuberculosis. These days people hardly fall ill to it, but back in the day when it had the much more romantic name of Consumption, people had it all the time.
My mom was similar, but the really sad part is she was a pediatric nurse. She about passes out if I tell her I've talked casually to my kids about birth control, STDs, showed them condoms, and given them age appropriate books about sex early on.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:03:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ew. I would not want my mother showing me condoms. I brief warning to use them is sufficient for me.
lnvu ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:10:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even the warning is too much haha
edit: was* damnit I'm not a kid anymore cries inside
My mum was a bit crazy when I was growing up (one time I told her I was probably going to have sex before marriage because that's what everyone on TV did, so she called me a "slut," threw a pillow at me, and didn't speak to me for a week... I think I was 8 at the time), but she was very free about tampons. I got my period for the first time (and freaked out because I never got proper sex ed), and she handed me a tampon and told me to "stick it up there." Parents are strange.
At least you had sex ed. I learned everything from porn and thought there was something wrong with me when I couldn't cum almost immediately just from penetration.
My school's sex ed consisted of STD descriptions and the stages of fetal unborn person development, and a girls-only portion about menstruation, pad useage, and how tampons cause toxic shock while the boys got a free period (heheh) outside.
My house was kinda the same. My mom wasnt usually argumentative or difficult towards people but she had some pretty strong, Christian opinions. I remember when I was back from college for the summer after my freshman year and she took me to a regular appointment at my pediatrician (yeah I know I shouldnt have still been going to a pediatrician, but she was a very cool doctor) and my Dr. was telling me I should definitely have started birth control by now and I was like "I know but... talk to my mom." resulted in a very loud argument between them that went something like "THE PILL IS JUST GOING TO ENCOURAGE HER TO HAVE SEX!!" "SHES ALREADY HAVING SEX!" It made me smile because I think it finally made my mom realize she was being dumb since she knew I was already having sex and ESPECIALLY away at college.
Jesus. I need to go thank my mother. I knew the proper term for everything before I reached double digits. I was well prepared for my first period, and I was the one who told all my friends things their parents and sex ed wouldn't. When I lost my virginity, my mom gave me a high five.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:36:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Mom gave me a physical anatomy book. Just tossed it on my bed and never said a word.
I learned about sex from Grand Theft Auto and reddit.
And people like your mom are why sex ed in schools is so freaking important. Imagine bleeding "down there" and having no idea what was happening and being convinced you must be bleeding to death! =(
I had a very similar experience, except my dad tried to make up for it by giving it to me (at 17) on a car ride to Chicago. I had read up on the important bits so the only thing I actually learned was that I should use my collegiate freedom to avoid ever being in a car with dad for long and that condoms roll open. Before anyone asks, yes I'm still a virgin, I'm pretty sure I'm asexual thanks.
My mother, the free loving hippy that she was, had little to no boundaries. So I was confused while being babysat by one of her friends (which went full fundie later on) because I apparently wasn't supposed to use the (French word for) breast. It was a bad word. Titties? Apparently worse. Boobs? Oh lord. What am I supposed to call them then? What do you mean I'm not supposed to talk about them? I was still at a naive age where I thought all adults had everything figured out and where playing from the same book. Adults are weird.
Not as frustrating and taboo-laden as you story, but my brother and I are both adopted so we have plausible deniability about my parents ever having sex. Similarly, my brother and I (now 28 and 31) have never talked about sex with them. We just sort of exist in this nice little bubble where we're not afraid to talk about sex, in the abstract, but since there's no evidence any of us has ever had it, we don't have to acknowledge that.
Yeah. My mom did that, and also called her adult time "playing cards". I didn't clue in until I was in my mid-20's and she started talking about how she had gotten a UTI 'playing cards'. Some game.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That basically surrounded the majority of the reasons I was grounded throughout my childhood.
Gogohax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was sort of the same but it had the opposite result on me. I learned everything from cable TV and would get in trouble at school cause apparently words like "dick" and "slut" and "douche" are bad words. Who knew?
I also "learned" a lot from TV and movies. Which really resulted in creating my own explanations for images I didn't understand and having a lot of confusion about things.
You are very blessed to have had sex ed class, at least. That sounds like a really unpleasant experience. I know a lady who told her daughter that tampons would "make her not a virgin," and make her hypothetical future husband not want her. Yes, really. She told her 10 year old daughter this. I was also 10, and horrified trying to figure out if it was massive ignorance or epic willful lying on the part of the mother.
Same. Im 17 years old, and never once got a sex talk, but it wasnt as bad as you where boobs and stuff were nasty words. It was common language in my house but i never knew what sex was until I was like 10, and my mom never talked to me about it. Although explaining to her that I'm not stupid and I know if you do it in le backdoor you don't get pregnant pretty much assured her I knew everything I needed to.
That might work for boys, but how could you deny a young girl tampons?
sarcazm ยท 785 points ยท Posted at 14:41:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha. That reminds me of a story. I'm a mother of 2 young boys. When my oldest son was about 3 or 4, he saw a photo of my husband and I when we were getting married. He asked about it, and I said, "That's mommy and daddy getting married." My son replied, "You're not married." I looked at my husband in confusion and said, "Yes, we are." Then my son started getting sad. On the verge of tears, I realized that he was upset because "he missed our wedding." I started chuckling (but also my heartstrings were being pulled). I explained to him that we got married before he was even born. That you get married and then you have kids. Then I said (half-jokingly) AND THAT'S THE CORRECT ORDER.
janisaf5 ยท 253 points ยท Posted at 15:10:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:) I was 5 when my mother was pregnant with her third child. I proudly told the nurse that my parents were getting married soon. She looked up at my parents and said "it's about time!" My parents have always been very clear that they were definitely married before I was born. (Actually they didn't cut it close, I was born 17 months after their wedding. But they were pretty defensive about it.)
kennyl ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 16:51:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"FOR THE LAST TIME, JANISAF5, WE'VE ALREADY BEEN MARRIED FOR 7 YEARS!"
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 17:18:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
janisaf5 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 17:34:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a pretty awful way for somebody to respond to an engagement. I'm really sorry.
I'd been married for about 5 years when I got pregnant. Several of my classmates (college) asked me if I was going to get married once they noticed the pregnancy. I was confused and slightly offended.
Got married young while working at a restaurant. A shocked "you're married!? But you're so young!" was often followed by "do you have kids?" or "how many kids do you have?". Like damn, I know I married young but come on
Halinn ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:17:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents got married 5 or so months before my older brother's birth. Must've been a short pregnancy ;)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:48 on August 18, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
janisaf5 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:25:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The nurse knew they were married - my mother's medical records said "Mrs. X" and they wore wedding rings, so they were more amused than embarrassed. I don't feel like I've ever been particularly successful in embarrassing my parents.
Oh I see hahaha . . . super cute :) And I'm sure they appreciate that.
What I hate in retrospect is my parents were always embarrassing me. And now that I'm older, I realize that all the things they did that I cringed at โ like singing in public โ are super super fun and I do them all the time myself.
I also really enjoy embarrassing my sister and nephews โ so it strikes me my parents may have enjoyed it too.
My grandma stands her ground on the fact that my dad was born 3 months early, perfectly healthy and wasn't premature. He was born in January of 67. My grandparents got married the previous June. Do the math.
My son is five and thinks you get married in order to have a baby. He wants a sibling so he told me I need to marry daddy.
Edit: we are already married and he knows this.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 15:55:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When my daughter was 3 she was looking through my wedding album and saw our flower girl and then got super offended she wasn't our flower girl. It didn't make her feel better when I told her we got married years before she was even born.
That's so cute. It reminds me of when my mom told that when my brother was little and was watching my parents wedding video, he heard a baby cry and asked my mom, "Is that me?" And my mom laughed and said, "No, you weren't even born yet."
Fabgrrl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:06:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Similar. In my wedding album, there is a picture of me (bride) holding my baby nephew. My son always asks if it is himself. No, you weren't born for another 3 years.
My son is almost 4, he was recently looking at pictures of our wedding. His main concern? "Where was I?"
It seemed he thought we had went and got married and didn't invite him to come along.
sarcazm ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:52:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I think that's what went through his head. In his mind, we, as a family, had never been apart. So, how could we have possibly gotten married without him knowing?
My sister thought that we'd been in my parents' wedding for a long time, because they renewed their marriage vows on their 10th anniversary, when I was 6 and she was 3. They dressed us up and let us be flower girls for the church service that day.
My little brother used to throw temper tantrums when we wouldn't believe him that he remembers me being born and brought home the same way I remember him.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:56:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was seven or eight I secretly hoped my parents would get divorced and then marry each other again so I could be the flower girl at their wedding. I'm... pretty glad that didn't actually happen.
My son loves to point out a picture of me from my wedding. I told him "in that picture, you were in mamas belly" and it makes him giggle and hide his face. So cute.
Then I said (half-jokingly) AND THAT'S THE CORRECT ORDER.
There is no correct order. You don't have to get married, you don't have to get kids, and you don't have to be married to get kids.
It just feels weird that you'd tell your kid that sort of stuff, even if half jokingly.
sarcazm ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:25:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never said anyone "had" to do anything. The correct order for taking a shower is to take off your clothes and then get in the shower. But you certainly don't "have" to take a shower. And you can certainly take a shower without taking off your clothes. Now, whether or not one is more efficient than the other can lead to a discussion.
And I feel like if you are committed to having a child with another person (which takes up at least 18 years of your life), then you should be committed enough to be married to do it. I imagine a lot of Redditors would disagree with me on that. I read a lot of different relationship situations across the board here. Does it mean I agree? Or do I have to agree? Do they have to agree with me? Certainly not.
However, I think I can make the argument that getting married before you have kids is more responsible than having kids before you get married (or not married at all). While I wouldn't say "it's the only way," I would try to make the argument that it is certainly more responsible and efficient.
And it's not "Weird." Humans have been doing it for thousands of years.
I stopped talking to them after elementary school and last I heard they used car seats until early high school. I hope they went to college far away...
I mean, it's kinda true, in a manner of speaking. If a child doesn't have proper role models, it might not turn out well emotionally/mentally. If the parents split up, or are incredibly young, or are just careless, the child probably will end up "unhealthy".
That would be my older brother, Mom's bastard son from banging our Dad, who was married to someone else at the time.
OTOH, they had been married legally for two years by the time I was born.
Funny, he did turn out to be sick and unhealthy, but those were decisions he made himself - he decided to have back alley sex with a known male prostitute who gave him AIDS back in 1992.
He's still alive though, and that guy died within a few years of giving it to my brother, so the newer meds really work.
I heard my parents talking once about a woman who had several kids without being married, and I just assumed that meant she was a medical miracle. Having kids without a husband sounded great to me at the time, so I started pretending all my dolls were single mothers.
10S_NE1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:23:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's awesome.
lawalter ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:56:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was little I thought it was illegal to have a baby before you're married because my parents made it very clear that that was bad.
This is something my neighbor told her son. When i got my girlfriend pregnant he was so confused as to how that could happen since we weren't married. Needless to say, they had to have a talk because of me and my reckless penis.
When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said "rabies."... She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a great dane.
Alternatively, my mum was a strict Catholic (at the time) who didn't have sex until she married my dad - yet she gave my brother and me very honest lessons on safe sex and how we'd probably end up doing it before we got married.
My mum is an odd duck. She doesn't like booze and thinks weed is a bad thing, yet she voted in favour of legalising weed and always makes sure I'm stocked up on gin.
this was the single worst lie that I feel screwed me up more than any other. I slept with a GF, then assumed that we'd get married eventually, so may as well do it now as later. 8 months later I was a divorced 20 year old.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:10:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read this as "sex is the only thing married people who love each other do."
Yep. My mother banged a married guy, my Dad. He eventually divorced his first wife and married my Mom, THEN they had me. By that time they already had lil' bastard, my older brother.
But she had the nerve to preach to me about getting married. Serves her right - I never married, and I never had kids. Both were my rebellion.
My mom couldn't say that to me because my parents were never married, instead she answered any questions I had when they came up assuming that if I had the question I was old enough to know the answer. Also gave me a bunch of books for the age range I was in that answered the questions.
If this were true my gestation period was precisely 2 months, and my mom was actually smuggling a watermelon out of the church under her wedding dress, cause I saw those pictures, she was definitely stealing a watermelon.
My mom is a fucking saint, but this is really true. The hard part was when she found her least favorite hanging from her stairs, I remember she confessed to me that she was distraught by how she felt, because she thought she should feel much much worse than she did.
Truth is, he was troubled and broken, and wouldn't take advice nor help, unless it was financial help to fund his addictions. I don't blame her. But I wish she didn't feel so guilty about her feelings.
Least favorite is really apparent. Most favorite is usually dependent on the day, assuming you have more than 2 children.
Oh, sorry yeah. Last December my big brother (he was always sort of a terror, from the day he was born until he died) hanged himself in my parents' house after a bad breakup and night of binge drinking his sorrows. He said something on facebook, and my oldest brother got concerned and texted my mom to check on him, and she found him. She's a nurse, she tried to perform CPR, but it was too late (and his dog bit her hard on the butt, she thought my mom was hurting him).
Unfortunately my brother had always had problems with addiction, and wasn't very good at living life as an adult. He struggled to hold a job and I was convinced he had undiagnosed BPD like my father and grandfather. But as a result he was very difficult to deal with for my mom. She tried keeping him afloat financially, letting him live with her, doing everything she could. And when he died, I think part of her was a bit relieved that he wasn't suffering anymore, like he clearly had been for years, struggling with drugs and alcohol. As a result of all of the shit he put my mom through, it was very clear that he was the problem child, where all 5 of the rest of us were growing up and having families, he was stuck.
[deleted] ยท -27 points ยท Posted at 20:53:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like he needed help but got a bunch of judgemental family members instead.
We helped as much as we could. Offered therapy, job hook ups, money. He didn't want anything other than the money, but thanks for your unreasonable assumption.
Hey you don't owe this person an explanation. You can't help someone who doesn't want help, but you already know that. You can't help it if some people choose to be idealistic about the world we live in and people they don't even know, don't let that comment bother you.
I say this about my two best friends and what I mean is that, in part, but I also mean basically 'you alternate as my favourites'. A is more supportive and stable, but M is more fun and cool. I like you for different reasons because no person is the same, and you're both considered "best". But honestly and truly, I will feel connected to one more than the other at different times, which balances and makes them equal. Depending on which time this is I will always get "you like A/M more". On the bright side it looks like you have an honest answer to a difficult subject.
I don't have a favourite child. I like aspects of each of them more than the other, but that doesn't mean that either one is my favourite or my least favourite.
My mother openly admits her first is her favourite. My younger sister and I are naturally inferior as a result, despite our exams and lives since moving out being better.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, this isn't a lie for me. I have three, they are all very different, and I am crazy about all of them. :-)
When your mom says "I love you but I don't like you that much/you were a hard child to love" it shouldn't really surprise them that you know you're the least favorite child and you're ready to move far, far away from them.
"You're just imagining things." - parents gaslight worse than any shitty boyfriend I ever ever had.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:48:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No they're not. It's because I'm different, mom!!
Oddly enough, once I accepted they hated me for being different, it was easier. I just ignored it all because I realized that they were just little assholes. Made friends with the other weird kids and stopped caring I wasn't popular.
All the girls who picked on me got pregnant at 19, are in relationships with abusive men or are hooked on drugs. Meanwhile, I have my dream job, a hot spouse who treats me like their personal goddess and the hardest drug I've done is LSD. One time. I think I won.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is one of the most wonderful things I've read today. Saving this for when I start teaching. Thank you!
Santa spreads the joy of Cristmas to all the little boys and girls. Have you been 'naughty' or nice little boy, old Saint Nick will have a special present just for you. Dont tell the Po-Po Poes!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:32:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A whole new meaning to eggnog.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. My mother-in-law was horrified when my 5 year old told her babies come out of vaginas. With me standing right there, she immediately tried to tell him that wasn't true and that vagina's are called "toot toots" or some shit. So, I urged my kid to continue Nana's lesson in human reproduction, and watched the old heifer nearly faint when he detailed the role of the male penis. Kids don't make a big deal out of things like some adults seem to expect. They're simply curious and find the truth as satisfying as anyone else.
Edit: To any concerned: I only answered the questions I'm asked, as vaguely and accurately as possible.
Oh hell yes! You are right on the money. I think I have posted about this before - my mother freaked out when my son was 2 1/2 and used the word penis. Actually called me at work the next day. I asked if not penis, what should we call it? She had no suggestions, but the proper name - penis - was out. It made me think back to my childhood - I don't think we called it anything.
Right? Any word other than penis that isn't 'vulgar' (cock, dick etc) is just keeping them from using real words in other parts of life. It actually creeps me out to hear kids say "peepee, weenie, thingy, doohickie (actually heard that one out of an 8 year old and couldn't believe it).
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:54:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah and it actually makes kids more susceptible to being sexually abused (or not being taken seriously if they are abused). From a little girl "my daddy keeps touching my kitty, I don't like it" is taken as a child being possessive over her pet, when actually she was taught that kitty is the term for vagina.
Research has been done to show that it's actually way better for children to hear the truth about child bearing rather than to be lied to about it.
Lying sets a precedent that you can't be trusted about any questions they might have regarding sensitive subjects, especially about their body. It also teaches them to be ashamed of their bodies.
Nicknames for body parts should be reserved as slang, not as education. Just tell your damn kids the truth, the only shame they will have about their bodies is what you teach them to have.
I think the Atticus Finch approach works well for this situation. Like when he explains rape to Scout by saying that it is "carnal knowledge of a female by force and without consent."
I can't find the exact quote but he says that children can see right through you if you lie, but as long as you give them a real answer they will be content even if they may not fully understand it.
Why purposely prevent them from understanding though? Sounds like you are advocating using a technically true version of the story that's purposely confusingly worded enough they won't understand it. Seems like the true truth, ie teaching them to understand would be best.
For people that want to preserve their innocence (like in the Atticus example) I think it's a good way to go about it because once the children are old enough that it is important to explain it to them you can just expand on what you told them. The point is to satisfy their curiosity without lying.
My son nicked named his penis his "ting-ting". I allow it because it's hillarious. Then he went to preschool and taught all the boys there to call it a ting-ting. I kept a straight face, but it was 1000x more hillarious then.
He knows it's also called a penis, though.
Maybe tell grandma only he can give a nickname to his genitals, not her. Until then, it's called a penis.
I'm happy to report that the 2 1/2 YO is now all grown up, and been out of law school for about three years. Last time I heard him make up a name for it, it was the "$5 foot long", a response the the Subway commercial.
But - a very well adjusted young attorney. He and his brother have never, ever had any hesitation talking about anything sexual or intimate with me. A COMPLETE difference of direction from my own parents.
My son got in trouble for saying penis at daycare. Would they rather he said cock? I'm not teaching my kid made up euphemisms for his body parts because some adults think anatomical words are dirty. It's a penis.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:24:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Although I don't think we should lie, depending on the kids age you don't have to explain everything in detail. Depending on their ages they will accept pretty simple explanations and once they grow a little they might have follow up questions.
They might first accept an answer as simple as "From mommy's tummy", and then a little later they will wonder more and want more details. You shouldn't lie, but unless they ask for it I wouldn't explain all the details... It would probably also be confusing if talk of sperm and eggs came up when they think the baby was given out at a hospital.
My kid is 6 and he knows that moms have a special body part called a 'uterus' that babies come from that dads don't have. All he wanted to know was "why don't dads have babies', and that answer completely satisfied him. We'll get to the rest of the science when he asks for more details.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:37:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then your 7 year old asks "exactly has does the dads DNA get to the moms egg? Like exactly".
Then a week later I get pulled aside by a friend and she explains that my daughter basically gave her daughter the sex talk when she was over. Her daughter burst into into the room yelling "do you guys really do that?!?!" at her parents. Well, at least she gave it to her straight.
When I asked that question my mom told me sperm comes out of the penis and goes into the vagina. She thought that was clear, but the idea of insertion didn't occur to me, I just imagined dozens of ant-sized sperm cells wriggling out of a man's dick, crawling over the sheets, and up into the woman.
I learned how human reproduction works at a young age when some big cloning story hit the news. All of a sudden I thought to go "wait, how does it work when you aren't cloning?" Got a simple answer, nodded, and went on with my day.
I was stunned when I found out how many other kids had parents who actively worked to keep them from finding out. It took me a few years after that to work out why adults kept treating this like a big secret.
When my niece was younger (4-ish) she went around her grandparents' house (my sister's in-laws) telling everyone, correctly, whether they had a vagina or a penis. She said the look of horror on her mother-in-law's face was priceless.
I don't think I will tell my 5 year olds that, unless they specifically ask for the specifics of it. I sit on the fence about the entire telling the kid and such, but if the kid is going to ask I'm not going to lie.
We explained to our five year old (at the time) the man fertilizes the egg in the woman. True without going into the anatomical "how". Her take away was "are there eggs in me?" No "but how?" just that. And that was that.
Haha, toot toots! My 4.5 year old has asked/talked variants of the question twice this week. The first time caught me off guard. He said he thought babies might come out of my butt. I just said sort of. Haha. I wasn't expecting this question. The second time, he just said he thought I used magic to come out of my tummy. I was distracted with my other kiddo, so I didn't really have time to address it. He knows about penises obviously, but we've never address what girls have. He would be that kid who shout vagina all day everyday, so I need to make sure I can give him the best answer that's probably more appropriate for him. I think maybe next year he'd probably be in a better spot for a more detailed answer.
I've never even thought of this because for me and everyone around me it was always the case that everyone was told some lie to avoid the topic until they were old enough. I actually remember comparing with the entire class in school what story we were all told. I hope I'd do as well as you if I ever become a parent.
I grew up on a farm so I asked at a very early age (before I started kindergarten so maybe 4 years old) and my mom explained how babies were born. I was like "oh weird" and went about my life. I had class mates who didn't know how babies were born until they were in high school. It was always such a non issue to me I never thought about it.
I can't believe that some people lie to their kids. A TL;DR of one of my top comments was a teacher told my second grade class animals only have babies once they are married after I explained to the class how animals really create babies. It fucked up a lot of people's perception for a long time.
It's a pretty well know psychological thing that forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest. Demystifying and making sex and where babies come from not some super secret, special thing only grownups do you let them make an informed decision about not just family planning but also when, with who and how they choose to have sex. Personally, I knew sex lead to babies but, it felt like it didn't apply to me. Only married people have babies. See what I mean? So I wish I had been better informed my entire life. I might have made many many different life choices.
Because here in America, the old people who are easily offended and very religious believe that if you teach sex ed, that will make kids have sex. Also, sex before marriage is a sin and they'll hold everyone to that standard, even though you really should force people to things the way your religion says.
When they were preschoolers, my kids got curious as to where babies came from, and I gave them a brief overview.
Then on a trip to the science museum, we were visiting an exhibit about the human body, and they had a bit about human reproduction. Seeing an educational opportunity here, I said, "Hey kids, you'd been asking where babies come from, well, here is a great explanation!"
They looked at the exhibits showing a fetus growing inside the mother's womb, and at the end there was a bit of a video where they showed a mom giving birth (vaginally) to a baby. At that point, the kids were like, "YUCK, can we go home now??"
Mission accomplished.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I told my kids in simple terms how that works and they're like "ok cool".
My daughter (8 years old) knows the general mechanics of sex and baby-making, too. She even knows what condoms and birth control pills are.
My husband and I are just very matter-of-fact about such things. Consequently, our kid is never afraid to ask us about anything. Nothing is taboo.
The other night she asked her dad (my husband) if we ever have sex. He responded, "Of course! That's how you came to be!"
Daughter: "I know you had sex once, but do you and mom still have sex?"
We also have a pretty open line of communication but that would quickly prompt a talk about privacy and how sex is private, and it's not polite to ask about people having sex, let alone try to listen in on it. I don't want my kids to know anything about my sex life aside at some point we had sex to create them.
Vanetia ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:52:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why would anyone lie about how babies are born to a child?
Because it's funny.
My kid came out of the bargain bin at Babies R Us. I had to dig way down to the bottom to get her because a lot of the models were broken in some way or just didn't look as good.
(Don't worry I actually did teach her the truth soon after, but with a store like Babies R Us and her asking what they sell there... come on)
I'm going to read Hogfather to my kids as a bedtime story when they start asking about Santa. They probably won't get it, but it's better than telling them a magical fat guy lives up north and it gives me an excuse to get them hooked on Terry Pratchett.
I hate the whole Santa myth and refuse to tell my son it's real, much to my in-laws displeasure. He's 4 now, knows that mommy, daddy, and family buy him Christmas presents because we love him, and thinks Santa is just a fun imaginary story that old men really like to cosplay.
were just the three I could find: an Anglican Monk and at one time Mayor of North Pole, Alaska (changed his name); a New York fire sprinkler installer and part-time Santa (as the role), who changed his name to match the role; and an ex-Navy man who grew up using his middle name (Michael) because his birth name is Santa Michael Claus.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Born? I thought they were brought to you by a Stork
I've never understood lying about how babies are born. What do those parents tell kids about pregnant women? I'm pretty sure that was the question that led me to knowing.
Mama always told me for the longest time that I "came from her tummy", so for an equally long time I thought I was born by getting pooped out of my mom.
EDIT: Then when I was a little older she told me it wasn't the same thing and that "mom's have a special thing for babies called the birth canal"
What I do with plain Greek yogurt is to use it as dip and eat it with some of these bad boys. Much better than just straight up eating it in my opinion.
Yep. my Mom thinks you can substitute things to make them 'healthier', and they'll taste just the same. She was and remains a terrible cook. I never invited friends home for dinner as a result. Ugh. I still shudder 25 years later...
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you can substitute but it's not going to taste quite right unless you grew up with the substitution. I love my mom's cooking but if there isn't sour cream I'm NOT putting yogurt on my; Baked potato, tacos, fajitas, or crepes(which should be whip cream but she will again sub yogurt if out).
Ugh. That sucks.
It is. I usually make them in a larger bundt pan and drip glaze over it. It's really hard to say if it's the sour cream or the extra butter that makes it so moist, but I've had to sub yogurt before and it turns out about the same. So I will agree with your mother on that one point, but I don't think I'd switch it out for anything else.
Australians do, but we use flavoured snags and not that hot dog wiener bullshit. Throw some dead horse on it, cooked onions and cheese, grab a coke and you've got a regular Sunday at Bunnings.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Poor people/me
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dad: "You know what else is different than a hot dog bun? Hunger pangs. Now go enjoy those in your room for the rest of the night you ungrateful brat."
I'll be the weird one then and say that as a kid, I looked forward to when we would run out of hot dog buns and have to use bread. I loved a hot dog in a folded piece of bread!
Get a can of biscuits and flatten each one. Put some cheddar cheese in then a hot dog and roll them up. Bake them at 350 for maybe 10 to 12 minutes and pull them out. My kid loves this as a once in a while treat and it wraps your whole hotdog in cheesy bready goodness
I get the anger, and the kind of joking nature, but when money was tight as fuck, and my mom was working 2 jobs with three kids (only just starting to date the guy that soon became our father figure throughout our entire childhood and to this very day)man i was such a little fucking shit about things like that, or leftovers, big bag cerials with no toys, off brand clothes.
Just like off brand hot sauces, mayo, cheese and various other condiments ARE NOT THE FUCKING SAME! I knew we were poor as shit as a kid and I would eat my food without complaint 'cause it's what we had, but don't tell me it's the same!
Operationally: you can't really have a sausage with mustard, ketchup and caramelized onion on a slice of fucking toast and remain clean afterwards can you now???
My grandfather was a bomber pilot in WWII. My dad told me that his bombardier ate cauliflower all the time to improve his vision.
When I was a kid, I ate the shit out of cauliflower. I still do. Excellent vision. I use this little lie on my daughter.
Once I actually bought cayenne dark chocolate, which is awesome, and let them have a tiny taste. There are never any questions about the veracity of my statements on spiciness anymore.
Actually, from what I understand of bible belt christians, they think sex is evil, non-virgins are like chewed gum, and you'll go to hell if you don't shit out as many babies as humanly possible.
Ace_Cat ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:59:53 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was confused when my mom actually told me that sex was actually pretty fun. I had been in an abusive relationship and thought it was supposed to feel weird/bad.
If you eat your carrots, you can see in the dark.
If you keep making that face, the wind will change and your face will stay that way.
Your father will come back, I promise.
Ignore the bullies, they will leave you alone.
I love you and your brother equally.
I love you.
[deleted] ยท 216 points ยท Posted at 15:28:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Ignore the bullies, they will leave you alone."
Learnt that one the hard way. That lie damaged me a fuck load. Lucky I learnt that it was a lie and challenged this belief by grabbing my bullies hand and threatening to break it in primary school. He bullied me for 4 years, and I kept "ignoring it" hoping he would stop, finally I snapped and did the whole hand thing, and suddenly he stopped bullying me. IF I ever have kids I WON'T tell them to ignore bullies. I'll tell them "Don't let people fuck with you"
Yeah, "ignore bullies" will never be a life lesson I pass on, it will be "make sure the adults know about it, and if the adults don't do anything about it you talk to me, and if the adults still don't do anything about it after I talk to them, you pop that bastard in the nose and I'll take you for ice cream."
"Actually, I'm not that patient. Let's shoot an email to the parents and administration, beat the shit out of the kid, and get ice cream. Actually, forget all that, we're going for ice cream."
"Dad, you can't just keep getting ice cream all the time. Sometimes you have to help me with my problems."
"Son, right now our biggest problem is the lack of ice cream. Get in the car. If we see your bully on the way we can bump him."
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:43:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother was being bullied badly in Elementary school and my parents told him exactly this. Funny thing, he never had to hit anyone. They all stopped bullying hi. Shortly after. I think just the fact that my parents empowered him to stand up for himself gave him a confident aura
that the other kids picked up on. Bullies pick on kids they view as weak. The second you look like you're not gonna take it anymore, it's over.
My son, who is six, was in the ball pit with his sister and two of their friends. A bully, who is ten, tried to push his sister.
My boy did a Judo throw and tossed the bully on his face. "NOT ON MY WATCH!" he shouted.
It probably would have gone the other way after that if there hadn't been adults around, but it makes me feel really happy that my son won't be the pushover I've been all my life.
baconaro ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 15:59:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 16:49:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One kid bullied me all the way through sixth grade. It was only verbal, but it was hell. One day in the hallway when nobody else was around, he decided to try to beat me up. Up until this point, I had never retaliated.
Unfortunately for him, when I get pushed past my breaking point, I go all-out. I grabbed him by his collar, slammed him against the wall (he was wearing a backpack, so not that big of a deal), said something along the lines of "fuck off", then pushed him down the staircase that was next to us. He wasn't injured (thank god) and he ran away. Never got shit from him again.
A kid at my little sisters school a few years ago landed a single solid punch on his bully and killed the fucking guy. Hit his head wrong on the way down.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:00:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in sixth grade, I wasn't aware how easy it is to permanently injure someone. I'm glad he didn't suffer the same fate as the kid from your sister's school. I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if I was responsible for someone's death.
Then again, that same kid I mentioned raped someone when he was in high-school. Maybe it would have been better if he had died.
All the fights and scuffles that I got into in school, it never once crossed my mind that someone could actually die, muchless get seriously hurt. Hell, back then, serious trouble was not even on the table. Now lawsuits and police get involved when kids fight... and that is crazy to me.
Daxx22 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:55:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
High five, Ender.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:02:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get the reference.
Daxx22 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:17:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ender Wiggin is a fictional character from Orson Scott Card's 1985 science fiction novel Ender's Game and its sequels.
He had a general philosophy of "ending" conflicts in such as way as they would never occur again.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:29:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Much appreciated, thank you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:05:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was so funny how much of a sore loser OSC was when gay marriage passed and there was a big movement to boycott the Ender's Game movie. I guess it's only okay to stand up to bullies when they aren't him.
stygyan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:14:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, no, you're mistaken about the FUNNY part.
The funny part is where OSC, a known homophobe, describes every kid from the eyes of Ender as being GORGEOUS STATUES OF GREEK GODS, HANDSOME, ATTRACTIVE AND BEAUTIFUL.
The even funnier part is where OSC, a known bastard without any kind of empathy toward LGBT people, writes one of the most beautiful books about empathy EVER, Speaker for the dead.
I still think OSC loves cock and is knee deep in denial.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:27:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If true, then it's more sad than funny.
stygyan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:04:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
As far as I can see, it's true. I use funny instead of sad because I prefer to laugh than to cry.
I did read again Ender's game recently, just because. When I was a kid, the description Ender made of other kids struck me as a lil weird for a six year old kid. Knowing OSC is an homophobe, it strikes you even harder. Let me see.
First, the description of Bonzo Madrid.
Suddenly, though no one said to be quiet, the laughter stopped and the group fell silent. Ender turned to the door. A boy stood there, tall and slender, with beautiful black eyes and slender lips that hinted at refinement. I would follow such beauty, said something inside Ender.
Peter, as seen by grown-ups
Ender did not see Peter as the beautiful ten-year-old boy that grown-ups saw, with dark, thick, tousled hair and a face that could have belonged to Alexander the Great.
I have those two paragraphs highlighted in my Kindle copy of the book. Because they seem surreal to me, knowing about Orson Scott Card stance not on gay marriage, but on gay people.
Now, Speaker for the dead. In it, an Ender Wiggin already grown-up is sick of hearing people treat him as a xenocide and decides to write a book about his life explaining in third-person why did he do what he did do. And starts a religion on the way, based on investigating dead people so someone can speak for them at their funeral, with full knowledge of what they did, why they did it, and what circumstances surrounded their life.
What I took from this book when I read it has definitely marked my life, because it taught me that no one is an island, and no matter how much of a bastard you are it's because the world shaped you that way. Basic empathy, you see - if you mistreat your wife, is because you've been taught to do so by society, your father or your grandpa - etcetera.
This empathy has brought me no small problems, because I always tend to put myself in the other person's shoes, and thus I even justified the way my exbf treated me when we were together. And so on.
How can someone teach empathy in such a profound and deep way, and then start spewing hate? What kind of ordeal has Orson Scott Card had to go through?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:12:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have a point there, sir. I remember those descriptions as well, actually. There's also a scene where they fight naked in the shower, and some other homoerotic nudity stuff isn't there?
stygyan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, and a thought just hit me. When I read the book as a kid I didn't get it because I read the translation to Spanish - only recently got an English copy.
The enemies to destroy, the ones Ender annihilates almost completely only to be regretful about it later are called buggers. A derogatory term for homosexual males.
It's all full of subtext, isn't it?
PS: Bonzo is NOT a Spanish name. Nor is Bonito, which is a kind of fish (bluefin tuna or mackerel, I think) as a name or Cute as an adjective.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:10:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
kaeroku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most of us know him by the book; the movie was a travesty.
shadus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, no... my experience with bullies in the gym was more ender wiggan style... had the coach not been in the room then, I'd have killed him, I was blacked out and running on rage. The basket ball smacked me in the head, the snickers and laughing told me it wasn't an accident, and I asked who threw it. Everyone pointed at one dude, he shrugged and smiled about it. I'd had enough and snapped... I blacked out about this point, I was told later that I body slammed him shoulder first into the gym floor and beat his head off the floor till the coach put me in a head-lock and dragged me off... and even then I'd wrapped my legs around him and punched him in the head a few more times. I beat him unconscious. Fortunately-- that was prior to columbine or I'd likely have a felony conviction of some kind... yay 90s. I could have avoided all of that bullshit had I not had stupid ideas of pacifism for many years and just dusted the first people who touched me instead of trying to talk it out.
To quote one of Heinlein's books- โViolence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor.โ I've often wondered if Heinlein wasn't bullied actually, because that is certainly the lesson you learn if you're bullied and want to end it.
The only lesson people who bully understand is naked force. Beat the hell out of them and it will end it. If you do it well enough, no one will be willing to pick a fight with you.
When I changed schools, day one someone tripped me in the hall (some meathead jock who was the cousin of one of the bullies at my original school) and I cleaned him off the bench with my book back and kept punching until I was dragged off. That was beginning of my junior year and I was never in another fight.
Incidentally my mother had taught me, "Discussion and talking it out are far better solutions than violence." She was wrong in that particular case. Lesson I've tried to teach my kids is, "Never start a fight, but never take anyone's shit, someone hits you-- make them regret it."
Anyways shutting up now, rambling. This particular subject still fucks with me even 20 years later.
I had a guy bully me from 1st grade until high-school, I just tried to ignore him. Well my senior year I was done, so I used my intelligence to ruin him. I told three of my teachers the whole situation and my plan, they agreed. I let him cheat off of me in class, he maintained the same average I had, until the end of the year when those three teachers would expose his cheating. That was phase one. Phase two I had my best friend start dating him, and the day after the cheating scandal was exposed she dumps him. Phase three I happen to be around when he's pissed off and emotional so he tries to take out his frustration on me, I had been waiting, right as he shoves me against the wall I whistled and one of the deans walks around the corner. He know has a felony record, and can't get a decent job because the college he had a scholarship at dropped him, and he knows I'm responsible for his doom.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:35:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fortunately, my grandfather told me the truth on that one, "Don't ever start a fight, but if someone brings one to you, take that bitch out. Then they'll learn."
My grandmother was more of the "just beat them up and they'll leave you alone" persuasion. Got me into trouble in every new school, but it worked every time the idiots would try to "pick on the new kid (me)".
Senior year, some little 120lb turd decided to pick a fight with me, 6'0" 235lbs, over my religious affiliation, with half the school cheering him on. He blindsided me in the lunchroom, knocked my glasses across the room. Took another 2 swings as I was getting up. At that point "self defense" overruled "zero tolerance" in the school's rule book. I put him in the hospital with a cracked skull and a broken arm.
Vamp459 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother and I were bullied a lot when we were little. Our mom taught us how to kick their asses. Literally, I was about 6 and I knew how to use someone's weight against them to get them off of me.
You shouldn't ignore them. If it's minor name calling and shit, you should pretend their shit doesn't bother you. Better yet laugh at them, and mock them back. It may escalate. Sometimes that shit us unavoidable. But if it does, they're likely to leave you along afterwards.
That was my dads style of parenting. He grew up in a rough neighborhood and his mom made him go back outside and defend himself instead of hiding and crying when kids were taunting him, he did and he wasn't bothered by them again. When I started being bullied and threatened in school he taught me how to punch etc. and to defend myself if I had to. That's how I would raise my kids if I had any too. It seems though nowadays schools punish the victims for fighting back if they get hit and they can even go to juvi for it which I think is insane.
Right! "Ignore them and they'll go away." Nope, we're talking about humans, not a stray dogs. My parents mom always told me to ignore the bully and tell the teacher. I quickly learned those two things made it worse.
After months of some intense verbal and some mild physical bullying in the 8th grade, a girl squirted mustard on my purse. I wiped it off, said nothing, and followed her into the bathroom a little later. We had a "chat." She never messed with me or my best friend again.
i just got my tubes tied last week. part of the reason was bullies. i got bullied all the time as a kid. i'd say something to teachers, my principal, my parents, my friend's parents, my friends, really anyone that would listen. and nothing ever happened. "just ignore them", "they're bothering you, because they know it makes you mad", "if you just stop letting it get to you, they'll get bored"
finally i snapped. i had enough and threw a chair across my classroom, threatened to scalp one of my 6th grade classmates who'd just gotten her hair highlighted, and left the school to walk home.
i don't even remember what happened after that. i've blocked out a lot of that shit. i never want to have kids, because mine would be the first ones to beat some heads in if they get bullied.
My dad is a very nice man and very non-confrontational. He definitely sticks up for himself and our family if needed, but otherwise he uses words instead of fists.
When I would complain about bullies, he would always say, "You will have to deal with bullies for the rest of your life. There's no point in complaining about it. Figure it out."
It didn't strike me as dismissal; it was more: I can't fight your fights for you forever, you need to learn how to deal with this now instead of in your 20s.
Maybe its because I'm taller and well-built, but I haven't really had a problem with bullies after high school.
Nofgob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was told to avoid fighting if possible, but don't let anyone bully me. If a fight was going to happen then make sure I won. I'm a pretty laid back person so avoiding fighting was pretty easy for me since I never gave anyone a reason to fight me.
The only time I ever got close to attacking someone was in high school weights. I was at the bottom of a squat when a kid a few grades above me slapped me on the ass with a weight belt. I shot up pretty quick, ripped the belt out of his hands and gave him some crazy eyes while telling him the next time I was going to beat him with it. Never messed with me again. I think the crazy eyes is what did it, because I wasn't exactly a large person at the time.
My parents tried the ignore shit for a while, until one day my step father turned round and said "fuck it, you're 9, primary school doesn't mean shit, just clock (bully) one" so next time they fucked with me, I did. Damn worth it, iirc everyone involved had a talking to but nothing came out of it, just a "don't fight again." bullying still happened a bit but was easier to deal with
The ignoring shit hardly ever works, should've just clocked them at the start
wtfduud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a former bully in Elementary school and "victim" (the bullies failed) in high school i'd say most people don't seem to be able to ignore the bullies. Not saying anything back does not mean you stopping them form getting what they want.
A bully will not bully someone who is not reacting negatively to the bullying. If you sit quietly upset the bully got a reaction which is all they want. What i did in high school was simple, effective and reduced bullying on me by around 90% within a week of grade 9.
I agreed with everything they said (and i did it without appearing even a little bit upset) and never let them have the victory they want.
Bully: "Caymanmew your stupid"
Me: "Yep nothing i can do about that"
Bully: "Caymanmew i Can beat you up"
Me: "No shit i am weak as fuck"
Responses like that basically stopped all bullying on me instantly as they bullies did not get what they wanted so there was no point in them doing it to me anymore.
Violent outburst might scare a bully off but most people can't do that and honestly it is a horrible life lesson to encourage kids to resort to violence.
jm419 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:47:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you eat your carrots, you can see in the dark.
Fun fact; this is leftover British propaganda from WWII where they said their fighter pilots ate carrots to see better at night - in reality, they were using radar.
In case this is confusing, the British didn't want the Germans to know they had a great radar system. So when the British stated to track German planes so well, they had to make an excuse.
Zywakem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm trying to remember something from QI here, isn't it that carrots actually do help you see in the dark? In a roundabout way?
icos211 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:40:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean technically night blindness is caused by a lack of vitamin A, which you can get from carrots, so...
THIS SO MUCH!!! It wasn't just my parents, it was the entire school system refusing to do anything and acting like it was my fault for not ignoring it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:17:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have intense anger at my mum right now for telling me that, and anyone else who told me that. FUCK YOU DICKHEADS YOU ALMOST KILLED ME.
I agree 100%. I say that schools should take accusations of bullying as seriously as they take accusations of sexual assault.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:38:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think not just bullying but the whole telling me I "should ignore it" that is what kills me I think. Not standing up for myself and absorbing what bullies do is what kills me. Bullies alone aren't that bad as long as I can fight them back.
You're right 100%. Schools need to either punish the bullies, or let kids fight back. Telling kids to ignore it is just them refusing to do anything. When I was in middle school and high school, everyone who I talked to told me that it would go away if I ignored it. They even acted like it was my fault because I would scream at the bullies. But I was only screaming at them when they were already bullying me. It was a natural reaction which I could not control.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:54:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh man I feel for you. I think it's one of the most posionous lies ever and it actually has affected my life. I'm extrmely grateful I fought back on some occasions. That probably saved me from being a depressed victim for my whole life. Other occasions I didn't though unfortunately and now I deal with this shit in therapy. Seriously mums who tell their kids "ignore it honey, they'll get bored and go away" I fantasise punching them in the face, and telling them "YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT DON'T SAY THAT TO YOUR KID"
I never fought back, and I was severely depressed for a long time. I always wanted to punch them in the face, but I never did. It took every ounce of my willpower to prevent myself from fighting back.
Hey, at least your mom bothered to lie. My mom couldn't even PRETEND to love me or my brother. Never said I love you, no affection. Apparently it was too difficult for her to even lie. I'm okay about it now though.
CRISPR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually ignoring the bullies 100% works. Used to get picked on a lot in middle school, in high school/college I stopped giving a fuck. It's very rewarding because you quickly realize that people were only making fun of you for attention, and when you don't give them the attention they want they end up just looking foolish.
Yo that carrot thing is kinda legit, I ate an abnormal amount of carrots growing up and my night vision lets me screw with most other people in the dark. I still like carrots too, but only raw.
Edit: pretty sure I replied to the wrong comment. Carrots don't stop fat fingers.
That was made up as a cover story by the british during ww2 to keep the existence of radar to explain why they were shooting down so many german plane.
Thankfully the bully thing was not something my parents ever told me but I had a lot of friends who's parents did. Granted their parents were right, the bullies did leave my friends alone, but only because I beat the hell out of them.
I ignored bullies my whole life. Then I left highschool and started working and I'd get "bullied" at work. Then I realized that some people regardless of age are just fucking assholes
rillius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Ignore the bullies, they will leave you alone."
I believed that lie for a long time too. One day after a horrendous day being hassled by bullies, my dad told me how to handle it. First try to ignore it and if that doesn't work, tell them to knock it off. Give them 3 chances and if continues, fight back. He also said if the school punished me, that was OK because I wouldn't be punished at home.
There were many who bullied me, but this one kid in particular constantly tormented me and had for three years. I did what my dad said and after the third time telling him to knock it off, I swung at him and knocked him down. Of course, I got sent to the principal who just chewed me out and called my parents, and we were both told to steer clear of each other.
There were a lot of kids who picked on me and believe it or not, most of them stopped after I fought back against the one. My mother wasn't happy but my dad just happened to suggest the family going out to eat that night for Mexican food, which was my favorite at the time.
I still got bullied by the other kids from time to time, but if I stood up, they backed down. However, the kid I hit, he didn't stop. He backed off for a week or so, then he started up again, but he only did it when he and his jock buddies were together. I took him on again and all 4 of them roughed me up pretty good.
I ended up transferring to another school after that and luckily, I wasn't bullied at my new school. However, the bully I fought somehow found out where I was and tried to get me thrown out of my new school by spray painting the building. He was caught in the act by the police and arrested and tried saying I paid him to do it, but then he backed down and told the truth saying he was trying to help me because I'd never learn to do the right things(i.e. play sports, go to dances, not be in the math and science clubs, not to go college) if I wasn't picked on. He ended up getting probation with a strict curfew.
I ended up quitting school and getting my GED at 16 and going to community college and after getting my associate degree, I went on to a university and got a bachelors, served in the military, and have for the most part(other than my divorce), a good life.
It depends. If the bully can see that it's bothering you and you're not acknowledging them then you look weak. If you don't let it seem like it bothers you then they will leave you alone because they're looking for a reaction, and they'll find someone easier. But yeah if that's not working for you try another tact obviously.
The first one: myth propagated by the British during WWII. Continued to be in widespread use (along with "spinach makes you strong because it's full of iron") until the rise of the internet put them down like a raccoon with rabies.
Second one: I think that was a stroke myth? Eh. I got told that one too. Fear propaganda!
Third one: considering my dad was on submarines most of the time he was gone, and pretty much 100% of the time he came back, I believed this one with ease.
Fourth: HAHAHAHAHA no they fucking didn't. Kicker? I couldn't fight back, otherwise I'd get in trouble for fighting (even though they pushed/punched/threw something at me first). Telling another adult (teacher, nurse, principal, parent, whoever) wouldn't help, either, because then the rest of the kids would see you as a snitch and ostracize you as a result.
Fifth? I knew who each of my mothers favored more; neither were me.
Six: ...ouch. I would never want to think this was a lie, but... eesh. That would hurt.
kaeroku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ignore the bullies
I have shared this with others, but never on reddit as far as I recall.
In high school I was pretty quiet, kept to myself, enjoyed reading and long conversations of a philosophical nature. I didn't attract much unwanted attention, but there was this one class...
Every single day these loud, obnoxious fucks would be throwing things and saying stupid things about other people around them, making the entire class feel like shit. Teacher would do nothing, for whatever reason. I politely asked them to stop on multiple occasions, resulting only in more focused ridicule. I approached the teacher on multiple occasions, mentioning the problem and requesting assistance; no dice. I then went to a guidance counselor explaining the issue and was told to tell the teacher, I explained that I had, and that nothing was being done about it. I was told they would have a "conversation." I told her I expected the school to do something about it, because the school insisted that we not take such matters into our own hands and the only way that works is if they provide proper recourse.
A few weeks after that, I was walking with a girl who liked me to the bus to go home. I was not particularly interested in this girl, but she was nice enough and I had no reason to hurt her feelings. The asshats saw us and started calling her things like a "slut" and making rude gestures. I told them to stop, and was laughed at. I told the girl to quickly head home, and apologized briefly for having to deal with this, explaining that it was me they didn't like. She scurried off.
I then went up to the one who was generally the most abusive in the group and got in his face and spoke very quietly, putting force behind the soft words: "Tomorrow, you are going to go and find her and publicly apologize for saying those things to her." Reply was something along the lines of I have nothing to apologize for, you're just a couple of freaks, whatever. I said, "I wasn't finished. You're also going to keep your mouth fucking shut unless someone speaks to you when you're around me, or I will close it for you."
His friends all around him, he asks what I'm going to do, and continues throwing insults and general asshattery my way. I repeat, "Shut your mouth, or I'm going to hit you." He asks if I know who he is, and just continues trying to put me down.
So I punch him, right in the nose. At this point the dude is still saying crap, so I punch him again, jarring him. He seems to realize, finally, that he's getting hit, and his shoulders hunch up and he takes an aggressive stance, and I punch him three more times in the chest and stomach. He gets one shot in at my shoulder, and I see him off balance and take his legs out from under him, he falls against a trash can and starts crawling away. I pull my leg back for a kick, and see him cringe, putting his hands up to cover his face. I'm enraged, but I don't want to kill this guy, and he's just submitted. So I stop.
I tell him to cut the shit out, and walk away. The first bus is just pulling in, and apparently saw the tail end. As I'm walking calmly away, security guards are charging down the aisles between the main building and the bus routes, and take me and the kid in hand. We end up in front of our respective counselors.
I explain exactly what happened, including me landing the first blow and threatening physical violence in return for the verbal assault, and that this was the same group I've been complaining to the school about for literal months. I tell my counselor I'm disappointed in her inability to prevent this from happening, and that I considered it directly her failure and the teacher's failure that I was forced to respond the way I did. She - extremely surprisingly - agreed with me.
We were then both pulled in front of the Vice Principal, where he said a few things that I'm sure were meant to make us consider the gravity of our actions. The bully was crying the whole time, and I was just kind of blank. It was then that I found out that the bully had, as the VP put it, "mysteriously forgotten" everything that had happened and not said a word when they spoke to him. On account of my counselor explaining the situation leading up to it, I received about a week of suspension - which was a nice vacation, tbh. The bully got 3 weeks, and was on some kind of academic probation going forward. And he barely landed a hit.
Never heard from that dude again; I'm pretty sure another condition that was given to him was "DO NOT be anywhere near /u/kaeroku again," although that was never indicated to me. Pretty proud of that. I don't take disrespect of others well, even if I can endure a lot myself.
TL;DR: Bully got beat into a trash can and nearly expelled, I got a week vacation, and bully disappeared from my life.
A lot of advice is, I think, originally meant in a certain way but becomes bastardized over time.
You SHOULD leave bullies alone. WHEN they aren't actively bullying you at the time. I've never met a kid who hasn't been bullied and bullied others. When the kid doesn't know how to shut off that fight or flight mode, they go on hating these bullies and antagonizing them and things escalate forever, sometimes for years.
So yes, in the moment, stand up to them. But don't spend your day thinking about them or hating them or paying them any mind when they are not actually bothering you.
Well often I say this when my daughter has asked for something in front of others that perhaps I do not wish to talk about with an audience. Mostly I don't feel like dealing with the 509 questions surrounding my no.
Everyone is commenting about lies mothers tell their kids, but what about the lies mothers tell to other mothers?
For some reason moms all act like being a mom is so easy (especially when you have your first baby) Now, maybe I just had a more difficult baby, but I hated motherhood for the first year. All my friends who had kids just talked about how fucking perfect their babies were, so I just smiled and acted like everything was peachy too.. until ONE person decided to be honest about the shitty time she was having, and I told her I was having a shitty time too. And she just cried with relief, and said "oh my god, I thought it was just me!". Like no.. it's not just you.. we're all sleep deprived and tired of listening to crying and having a shitty time, but EVERYONE LIES ABOUT IT! Why do we have to lie and say how great it is when in reality, babies are awful. Like 10% of the time they're quiet, and sweet, and smiling and snuggly and adorable. The other 90% they're screaming at you, and waking you up, and throwing up on you.
If you're having a shitty time and it seems like everyone else but you has the worlds most perfect baby - don't worry, they're just lying.
They might not be lying, but they might have an army of support. My neighbour and I had babies at the same time. All their family lived in our general vicinity. All mine lived across the continent. Her first few months with her newborn weren't bad at all, because she didn't have to cook more than a handful of meals, she had volunteers to feed the baby a bottle if she wanted to shower or get groceries, if she didn't want to get groceries she had someone who could, she had relatives who would just take her older kid for nights at a time so that he still felt loved but she had a break.
It was hard not to be jealous, especially when she was all, "this second kid thing isn't hard at all? Why are you having such a rough go at it?"
I'm a single mom now and even though I was married at the time I had my daughter, I still felt like a single mom at the time too, because despite the fact that she woke up 4+ times a night, my ex-sleeper-husband either never once heard her, or just pretended he didn't. I can count on one hand the number of times he actually got up and helped out. My mom tried to help but she ended up making things worse because she was just one of those "blissful moms" who just loved having babies and kept saying things to me like "isn't it just so great to be a mom?" and "aren't babies just a wonderful blessings?" uhh.. no, actually, I don't feel very blessed right now. So I isolated myself from her, and the other "blissful moms" quite a bit and I think I had a pretty bad case of untreated PPD as well which I didn't even realize until after it was over. All in all it was a miserable experience, but I was like you and mostly alone through it and maybe you're right, maybe that's the difference.
She didn't mean it in a malicious way. She is a very sweet person who was just very sheltered at that point.
My SO works away a lot, and at that time when our second was born he was called out to do a bunch of ship work so he was gone for weeks at a time. He actually left when our son was 7 days old - something he can't remember (he had the audacity to ask me if I was sure it was that soon after having the baby), so when I was up with one of my kids in the wee hours of the morning all alone, it was hard to see lights on at my neighbour's and see her mom or aunt rocking their baby. It sucked so bad.
I didn't mind the baby phase of my own kids, but I can't stand other people's babies. And now that my son is leaving the baby years behind him, I'm starting to get a bit excited for the future. We were out and about yesterday and he held my hand and listened while we were in public. I've been super sad about not having a third baby, but little things like this just remind me how awesome bigger kids are compared to babies.
The more kids I had (I have four) the less I bullshitted about everything. It's hard, and exhausting - physically, emotionally, and mentally.
I will say this though, my threshold for panic and stress has increased. Kid crying from the other room? They'll come find me if it's bad enough. Two kids bickering? Time to hone your conflict resolution skills kids. I've already given you the tools. Want to dig up worms in the backyard? Here's a shovel.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:35:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Question: I don't mean to be rude, but why did you have 4 kids? Isn't raising a bunch of kids super tiring?
I would say the first was the hardest because you don't know anything. After that the third is because you move to zone coverage. The fourth didn't really add much difficulty. We wanted a big(ish) family. We both came from fairly big families (including extended) and enjoyed the atmosphere of our upbringing.
My kids are all about two years apart and there are times that are frustrating. 3 year old hollering for you to come wipe his butt, while the 6 and 8 year olds are arguing over whose turn it was to pick a show to watch, the 10 year old needs homework help, and you're in the middle of cooking dinner. But it's not always chaos, and I enjoy having a unique relationship with all four and discovering their individual personalities while watching them experience the world.
jseego ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 19:26:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Part of the problem is that some babies are awesome and some babies are shit. That's just the way it is.
Our first baby slept the night at 6 weeks. We could take him out to a nice restaurant before he was a year old - he was just a "good baby" - potty trained himself early on, learned sign language right away, could entertain himself if needed, just a smiley, happy guy.
We actually met other parents at gatherings who would stop talking to us and walk away when we answered their questions about how it was going for us.
We just assumed we were awesome parents and we'd made this awesome baby. Natch.
Then we had number two. Holy shit. Poor kid had gastric issues, ear infections, thrush, viruses. Didn't sleep at night for a whole year. Cried REALLY LOUDLY ALL THE TIME.
Mine also had digestive issues big time, wouldn't breastfeed, had to be on special (super expensive) formula, didn't sleep through the night once in the first year.
I have heard that not all babies are like that but I'm not willing to take the chance again. She will be an only child. And she's grown out of most of that thankfully.. we're are in the terrible 3's phase right now but 4 comes in October so I'm looking forward to things getting easier and brighter soon.
jseego ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:52:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I sometimes tell people, "if our second had been first, we might not have had a second."
Good for you that you know what you want.
Most people I know have had easier second children when their first were hard, but not everyone. ;)
karah99 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:30:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Four year olds whine. A lot. It's like their default setting. Five year olds start getting more bearable.
I was a crier as a baby and loved my mum's company so was a bit fussy, but I was an easy kid because I liked to sit and read and do little else so nothing ever needed kid proofing. My younger brother was a very quiet baby, but as soon as he was old enough if you turned your back he'd be eating coal (or moisturiser, or expensive lipstick) or trying to put his fingers in plug sockets. He once posted a sandwich through my auntie's video player. My poor mum didn't get an easy time either way!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:13:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We just assumed we were awesome parents and we'd made this awesome baby. Natch.
Then we had number two.
Our daughter was a very easy baby--she never cried, she was never sick, she nursed perfectly (no bad latches, so my nipples were never sore). She's very happy, does great in school, etc. She is/was GREAT.
...which is why I refuse to have another child. I'm not willing to tempt fate. There's ZERO chance I will get another child as good as our daughter. I'm just not that lucky.
That goes along with the "the moment I saw my children I immediately loved them more than the whole universe put together" talk. I'm not a mom (yet) but whenever I think about that I don't see that kind of emotion applying so quickly to a human being I just met. I get the need to protect them above all else, of course, but 0-100 love?
I realized I was probably not the only one thinking like this when my father told us that he had the same issue when me and my brother were born. He says we were completely new people in his life and didn't even know how to react, let alone incondicional love. He also said that as he got to know us day by day he did fall in love with his kids and I believe him 100%.
So now I think that a lot of these things "eveyone says" are just a way to look good in front of others and probably isn't true all the time.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 19:12:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Some dumb bitch gave me shit at target for getting a baby brezza.
There are plenty of times prepping a bottle is easy and you have time. There are tons of times though where having a quick easy warm bottle is a life saver
My mother STILL pretends she loved me as a baby. Really I know that when she got into her late 30s she thought she was running out of time, married an asshole, had me, and got attached.
Attached is the word I use. There's nothing wrong with growing to love even your own children, and I think admitting that and being honest about it when you have kids makes for a better relationship.
Because now? The person I am today as an adult? She is attached to me. She doesn't love me because she doesn't understand me. You can't love a stranger, even if you know that somehow they're important and worth protecting. And I don't really love her. We're just performing our roles because we're supposed to.
I think it's different for everyone. I loved my baby in the womb. My husband spent my pregnancy fearing he would be apathetic and then was pleasantly surprised to find he actually cared after she was born. One of my friends on the other hand didn't really grow to love her kids until they were closer to two.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:16:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That goes along with the "the moment I saw my children I immediately loved them more than the whole universe put together" talk. I'm not a mom (yet) but whenever I think about that I don't see that kind of emotion applying so quickly to a human being I just met. I get the need to protect them above all else, of course, but 0-100 love?
I expressed this same sentiment just one day ago on /r/AskWomen and got downvoted to shit for it. I tried to explain not every woman loves their child like that, and I was told I needed to seek medical attention because anything less than complete and utter adoration is "unhealthy" and "unnatural."
Unfortunetely most people on reddit behave like that, not respecting others at all, even in subreddits that should be mainly supportive. I've had the same experience on a related sub, I think most people have. I guess we just have to be prepared to get 10 offensive replies for each supportive one when voicing a "different" opinion, or else keep it to oneself (which is what I do most of the times now).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's one of the lest supportive subs I've been on.
I hated kids before I had my own and even I felt that way (0-100 love meter). I think it depends on the person but I certainly loved my kids more than I had loved anything the moments they were born. I don't think this one is a lie.
I think it's just different strokes for different folks. I didn't feel that 0-100 love for my daughter when she was born either. I know several people that it took time for. I think for a lot of people it's a huge adjustment period no matter what and people are just different, it doesn't have to be wrong or right.
It can go either way. Some parents take a while as it slowly grows, others feel it right away. Others get hit with it suddenly months after the baby is born, or when it starts talking and interacting.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:19:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It can go either way. Some parents take a while as it slowly grows, others feel it right away. Others get hit with it suddenly months after the baby is born, or when it starts talking and interacting.
Nothing is wrong with you at all, I was just saying I don't think that when you hear this one that it is generally a lie. Everyone is different!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:18:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think it depends on the person but I certainly loved my kids more than I had loved anything the moments they were born. I don't think this one is a lie.
This is not universal among mothers. I am one such mother.
that kind of emotion applying so quickly to a human being I just met
Actually, during pregnancy, there's an enormous flood of oxytocin which is pretty much like the heroin of emotional hormones. It can definitely make a strong bond quickly.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:24 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a textbook pregnancy and nursed my kid from my breasts several times a day for two years. I never felt that sort of bond. Not all mothers do.
The difference is that guys are honest about it. Boom.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:50:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have kids, and even I've noticed that the way media and culture portrays motherhood can be very damaging, when talking about the problems in bonding and the tiredness and shit is turned into a sign of a "bad mother". Fortunately it does look like the discourse is changing now, with current mothers being more open about the emotional hardships.
Can confirm. Both sides of the family thinks my son is an adorable ball of love but in reality he's a mad pooping, teething, hair pulling monster that will rip his diaper off and shit all over your fresh sheets on the bed.
Somzer ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:46:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All my friends
so I just smiled and acted like everything was peachy too..
but EVERYONE LIES ABOUT IT!
Maybe they're doing what you're doing.
Pretending, following the herd like a sheep, lying to their friends.
You ask "why do we have to lie", but you don't think, you don't consider it, you just go along with it.
well that's what I'm saying though, everyone does it, I was so guilty of it too, because NO ONE wants to be the only person who's struggling if everyone else is doing fine. I just wish it was more acceptable to be more honest about it.
It's true as far as I can tell. We are all human, parents and kids, and kids are the most difficult assignment a person is going to get, in a lot of ways because you do care and want the best for them. It doesn't make you, or them, 'wrong' or 'bad'. However, especially when it comes to being a mom, other people, especially other moms, are culturally demanded to feel as if they aren't allowed to feel one ounce of negative emotion or have any 'fuck this' moments toward being a mom or you get people coming out of the woodwork with the crazy judgements "how could you ever feel that way about your sweet, precious baby!? you're going to feel so awful later when you realize how precious every little thing they did when they were small is!" It's way past time to drop the bullshit and allow parents to say they love their kids and all but some days shit is really hard and sometimes you just need to vent and be honest about it.
Somzer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:04:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is.
You just have to learn how not to give a flying F about what others think of you.
They'll either accept it and truly become friends, or they too were just pretending, and such "friendship" has no future.
"Birds of a feather flock together", but not if you decide to just assimilate into one.
well that's what I'm saying though, everyone does it, I was so guilty of it too, because NO ONE wants to be the only person who's struggling if everyone else is doing fine. I just wish it was more acceptable to be more honest about it.
All my friends talk about how babies would be so much work. Maybe it just has something to do with the friends you choose?
But do they actually have babies? I think that's what /u/anonmymouse is talking about. Once people have kids, it's hard to be honest that it's not "oh kids are so wonderful!" all the time.
People used to tell my mum it was refreshing to see her when she was pregnant/my brother and I were babies because she would openly admit she had absolutely no idea what she was doing and wasn't afraid to have a bit of a cry about it.
I have a number of kids that I am very close to and have been married for quite some time. I literally tell all the future dads with a pregnant wife that for most people, it really sucks for the first 12-16 months or so but to hang in there because it gets much better. I tell them that the time invested getting to know their child is worth it and it will pay off in an awesome relationship later. I have had a number of people come back to me and thank me for the heads up. Worst case scenario, for the people I warn, it ends up not being as bleak of a picture as I have painted and they are relieved.
markiro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:13:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Amen!
aithne1 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:30:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like baby smiles and coos induce amnesia, though. When people ask, I think about that stuff and say she's so amazing. The shitty stuff is part of it, but somehow the bliss kind of drowns it out right now.
A lot of it has to do with marketing. We're constantly told that having a baby is supposed to be this magical happy timeโbecause we're generally willing to buy stuff to make ourselves happier.
And it is a happy time. But it's also a busy time, and hard work, and filled with fears and frustrations. But we think that if we admit to the latter, people will think we don't love our kids, and that is a terrifying prospect.
Talking to my friend while meeting baby, they were saying how easy it is, and wondering if everyone is just lying about babies being so hard. I told them it's possible you just have an awesome and chill baby...
I love my baby. I got really lucky with her being happy and not crying her head off most of the time. However, sleep regressions are fucking evil and I want to murder the person who came up with the phrase 'sleeping like a baby'. Just fuck the whole short naps, early wakings, and the need to play/cry for hours in the middle night combination.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am an 18 year old male and I have heard tons of horrible experiences of being around young children. How could anyone think it was all perfect? This information is very accessible from 1. Your parents 2. Other parents, like your colleagues and friends 3. TV and pop-culture (crying baby on an airplane is just one of many).
[deleted] ยท 743 points ยท Posted at 12:46:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
''Your dad just went to the store for cigarettes''
The dent in Mom's bumper implies that she hit the father.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:45:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's only downhill, rollercoaster would be something up in between.
Will_BC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, the difference between being abandoned and having your father pass away can be pretty significant. If you're going without a dad either way better to have had one that wanted you
issius ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:51:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
were forced to assume if the mom killed dad, that dad was a bit of a dick.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:58:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like most roller coasters or started and the top and went straight to shit
Will_BC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, the difference between being abandoned and having your father pass away can be pretty significant. If you're going without a dad either way better to have had one that wanted you
Mine would wait 3 days before destroying me and my sisters chocolate Easter bunnies. I swear to god she buys those things for herself and just stuck our names on them.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:59:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:30:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yadda yadda broken arms yadda yadda every thread
Sedu ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 17:15:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The worst lie she ever told me came when I was in my early 20s. I had just come out as gay to her, and after a week of really vile screaming and vitriol, she had a change of heart. Here's the lie: "What are you talking about? I always knew you were gay! That's why I was so supporting and kept asking if you liked boys! I remember in college when I joined the gay rights movement and my father got so angry with me!"
The lie is beyond absurd. It's a complete rewrite of her own history. Like... it's not even plausible. She was a really vile homophobe up until that point, but just shifted her whole reality. No one that she knew in college (and I know a good number of her college friends) will back her up on the whole gay rights movement thing. She's still shitty to me about it now, and tells people that I reject her motherly love. I'm not unwilling to forgive her, but she demands that I apologize to her and make it up to her.
Nope. That is the lie that permanently scarred our relationship even more than the years of nastiness.
toastee ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:49:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She's so far in denial she re-invented her own life history so she could accept you. I think you broke her brain.
Sedu ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:07:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the thing, though. She isn't accepting. She's really mean about this whole thing. She'll go on long winded rants about how when I came out, I started treating her so badly. Maybe she's not nasty about me being gay, but she's still really nasty.
Any time anything about my being gay comes up, she starts ranting. Any time she hears about a boyfriend, she'll switch the subject to herself and how she's mistreated. She regularly reminds me of what I "did to her" when I came out. I just... don't interact with her any more. She's not part of my life.
toastee ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:15:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry your mother is a narcissistic cunt. Sigh, have a hug from an internet stranger.
It always sucks to hear about this, just know you're among countless horror stories of people coming out of the closet. Virtual hug I hope everything's alright for you now.
I wish mine would have, the fuckers were and still are inteligent, they used some grade A psychological warfare on me to get me to behave. I have social anxiety issues now.
Okay so for example i once put in the pin code of their new mobile phone (this was lile 1998) wrong three times and locked the phone. They never had a phone before so they were not aware of a puk code that unlocks it. They were angry i didn't just ask what the code is so i don't lock the phone. Because 8yo that doesn't have a fully developed brain yet.
So in order to punish me, i was not allowed on the computer or TV untill the phone was fixed. But they drove the message home by puttin the phone in like this little fake coffin in the middle of the bloody living room where both the tv and computer sit to make sure the message was driven home. It sat there for 3 weeks and it looked terrifying. The damn thing had candles arround it and everything.
[deleted] ยท 1205 points ยท Posted at 13:59:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My son's a good boy, he never hurt a fly, he'd give the shirt off his back to help a stranger, he loved to live life, he was always laughing, he lit up any room he walked into, he was just turning his life around, he made mistakes but never meant to do bad.
RedditEddit: This isn't a reference to any specific incident, report, or case. It's what you read in almost any news report, no matter what country or language.
Or when the kid was high on drugs and crashed their car or walked out in front of a moving bus or something. Ever notice that the kids that die just before graduation are all honor students who loved life and lived it to the fullest and were just about to go to a big university on a full scholarship? Good to know that being an awkward teenager with no friends probably saved my life.
That's the type of shit I've always expected someone to say if I killed myself.
qlester ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:00:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's kinda morbid, but I've always wondered what kind of shit people would make up if I died young/killed myself. Also would be curious to see how many new friends I make after I die.
Gnivil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a well known fact that people really come into their own when they die.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:37:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"Hello, this is Joe. Thanks for attending my funeral. You've heard a lot about me by now, doubtlessly all positive, in touching testimonies of what a huge loss it is, or sweet memories of what a selfless, kind, smart, funny, great guy I am. I'd like to say to you all here now that these stories are total bullshit. I was a spineless immature unreliable intolerable mean selfish dumb sack of shit, and dying was the only selfless act I've ever performed. Enjoy your drinks. I didn't leave enough money to pay for them by the way, in fact I was in debt when I died - see what I mean? So please consider leaving a donation in the jar next to my urn".
Yea. That's the point. Every BLM protest, the family comes out and says the same thing, regardless of if it was true (although obviously it's true at least some of the time).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't referring anything specific, just what any and every news report from here to England says when a kid does something dumb and gets killed.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:24:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He didn't do nothing wrong.
4587tro ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:43:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He wud a gud boi
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh god, this was all i could think of when my ex-stepfathers mother was talking about him at his funeral. all they had to say was about how funny he was and how softhearted he was for all he did for people - the only things he did for anyone were for women he liked, and he just went from relationship to relationship while abusing their kids. every single thing his mother had to say about him i just had to roll my eyes at.
awoelt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, Neil doesn't do drugs! He's a good boy."
"Mrs. Johnson, your son is such a good boy he sold me some really great weed at a discount price. Really loves helping people out."
I hear this shit everyday from mom's trying to get their sons (and sometimes daughters) out of trouble. It gets tedious when you start recognizing the parents' names on the phone before you even pickup.
my sun a good boi he nvr hurt a fly he giv da shurt off his bak 2 help a stranger he luvd 2 liv lyfe he wus laffin he lit up any rum he walk into he was jst turnin his lyfe arond he mad mistaks but nvr ment 2 do bad
Tells you she's putting your allowance into a savings account than when your 18 she denies ever saying that.
Cleev ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not quite as bad, but similar.
I had a train set when I was a kid, and one day I saw a passenger car in a toy store. At that moment, I knew my entire life to that point had been leading to buying that damned passenger car. I asked my mom if she would buy it for me. That didn't fly. So I asked for a hefty advance on my allowance ($0.75 per week). No dice on that one either. However, she agreed to hold my allowance until I had enough to buy the stupid passenger car.
I shit you not, she held on to those 3 quarters a week for nearly a year. No exaggeration. It was one of the first days of the year it was warm enough not to need a jacket, and I didn't get allowance again until after thanksgiving. I'd ask about the passenger car every so often, and she'd tell me I didn't have enough yet. Finally, the Friday rolled around that she put those three stinking quarters in my grubby little hand again. I asked her about the passenger car, and she said she'd pick it up one day after work.
Apparently she thought better of that. It was too close to Christmas, she said. Maybe after the holidays she'd have time to stop by. Then it was peak season at her job, then it was too close to my birthday. I asked less and less frequently, until I asked for the last time in the fall. She claimed to have no idea what I was on about.
The impotent fury I felt at that moment, realizing I was out both 9+ months of allowance and the goddam passenger car for my train set has never quite been rivaled in my life.
I get why it's not. Even though it's not universally true, if it helps some kids to reach high and achieve things they never imagined would be possible when they were a kid, then I think saying this is fine. Life is hard enough when most people are going to be telling you what you can't do, or trying to bring you down.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:04:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Well the IQ 160 kid can't be a Southerner so the IQ 80 kid has at least one advantage
EDIT: Downvote โ Disagree/Dislike. This is not a serious thread so a joke is technically contributing. /s
Yeah, my mom still believes in this. She's a grown-ass woman, and still believes this load of horse manure.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:51:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree.
Everyone has huge potential. They just have to match it to their talents and gifts. Too often mentors and adults are too busy telling kids 'You won't be good at that.' but never follow up with 'but you would be awesome at this instead.'
Not everyone is good at everything. That's cool. Steer them in the right direction; everyone is good at something and people like being good at things but sometimes even they can't see what their talents actually are. Especially when they're young.
same here. My mom pleads with me to talk sense into her whenever she does something rebellious, but I only really step in if she does something to hurt herself, which isn't very often because she's smart
Mine, too. My mom's favorites are my disabled sister and my brother (the only boy) and my dad's is my youngest sister. And they're super obvious about it. And they all wonder why I always feel left out at family stuff.
RvH98 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to tell me that i was her most loved (name). The same went for my brother and sister
My mom always said her favorite kid changed day to day and it could be literally any of them. I could believe that. It was whoever was least destructive that day.
We'd always ask my mom who her favorite was, she'd always tell me that I was her favorite blonde daughter (note: I'm her only blonde daughter) and my twin sister was her favorite brunette daughter who's a twin.
Too funny. I got away with it by saying, "You're my favorite four-year-old in the whole world" or similar when they were all together.
The oldest ones loved to torment me though: "Okay, Mom. Say there's a tornado that rips through the house and you can only grab one of us. Who would you pick?"
(little shits...the youngest kids would stare at me, doe-eyed, waiting for my answer to see where they stood)
I'd just squint at them inscrutably for a moment trying to formulate the best answer, and then end up saying something like, "This isn't fucking Sophie's Choice, so get out of my face before I find something useful for you to do -- like scrub the toilets."
And they would laugh and ignore me. Because that's how we rolled.
Haha, that's pretty funny too. I often worried about that one, which parent I would save in case of disaster. It didn't concern me that I was a very small kid who wouldn't have been able to save either of course!
She really is, you also sound like a great mom. :)
Yeah my parents tell that to my little brother so I stopped being around them. They now hate everything I do and constantly yell at me for lots of stuff i do.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 14:30:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:25:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
with jumper cables.
liam06xy ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:09:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
username...
does not check out
*
looks at a picture of rogersimon10 as a single tear falls
*
Cleev ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:24:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes, on lonely nights, I'll look up at the moon, and it makes me feel just a little better to think that somewhere, /u/rogersimon10 is getting beaten by his dad with a set of jumper cables under that same moon, and it makes the world seem a little less big and empty.
CRISPR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:18:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
boys are only looking for a wet place to stick it.
Jeez, if that were true life would be so much easier. Wanting love and companionship makes it much more complicated.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:23:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
No shit right. Plus all this expectations of being a good person? Bah!
It flipped how I should have handled relationships for awhile, until I met my husband really. I led with sex and then tried to get to know them (which rarely lasted more than 2-3 months). My husband I met online in the 90s and we had a text and phone only relationship for a year before meeting. Changed my entire outlook on relationships.
Definitely. I guess parents don't always realize that when they make generalizations like that, their kids may internalize them more than they'd expect. Naivete is a bitch, gotta learn things on your own sometimes.
There certainly are genuine guys from the get go, but at younger ages it may be fair for a parent to assume that most boys of the high-school age are just looking to get in their daughter's pants. Not saying it's justified for the parent to straight up teach their daughter that as an ideology, but as a passing remark to a teen daughter, I can totally see their side.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:28:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I personally think giving a teenager a honest sex talk, not just the physical aspects but emotional as well, is really a better solution than just knee jerking to "boys only care about your vagina". It's a bad message and shouldn't be justified.
To tell a young girl as their guardian to this world that boys see no worth past their privates is lazy and selfish and wrong. No caveats. No explanations. No conversation. "Your only worth is your vagina."
Yup! I agree. Just trying to play a little Devils advocate. I edited my above post a little, not sure if you caught it or not.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:20:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't catch it :) thanks for letting me know
Kids are always going to have to learn on their own for sure. I did. My friends did. But having a body positive and confidence-centric sex tall was something I missed out on.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 18:50:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There just isn't time to have all the conversations you need to have.
My mom told me that, too. But the first guy I gave it up to is currently laying in bed next to me and I'm over here looking at wedding invitations. :)
Just don't be too easy. You have to be a little picky. Keeps you from getting stalkers, diseases, and murdered by crazy exes/current lovers.
[deleted] ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 16:42:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Story time: I gave it up to my first real boyfriend. I was 18. I thought we were getting married. We were together for 3 years, 2 of which were long distance, and did in fact have plans to move in together and get married (and were only a year and a half away).
We broke up. I was confused and went through a period of hooking up with, well, a few more people than you'd guess, since I've now stopped doing that. I was definitely what you'd call "too easy."
Know what happened? Well, since we always had safe sex, no diseases. Did things always end nicely? No, but since we're all adult enough to have sex, we're all adult enough to have mature conversations and find an appropriate way to deal with our bitterness and/or resentment and move on. No stalking, no murder by a former or current lover.
Know what did happen? I was at the gym and met a gorgeous, down-to-earth guy through a mutual friend. We all went out for drinks, he stayed over at my place and we hooked up. Now we're exclusively dating and both really happy. He doesn't care what my "body count" is - he didn't even ask. It doesn't matter who I've been with in the past, it only matters that I'm with him now.
Being "easy" isn't necessarily a good thing or a bad thing as long as you're smart about it. Practice safe sex. Learn the difference between "lay" and "lie." Enjoy your upcoming wedding. Stop telling people that if they sleep with too many people, terrible things will happen to them, and they WILL GET CHLAMYDIA, and they WILL DIE.
Edit: typo
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:20:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:05:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely. Not only was it required for my university, but also just a good idea in general. I've got my bases covered.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:28:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:24:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry to hear that. :( I wish you the best for your procedure and recovery! I'm definitely grateful that my generation has the resources that we do, both in things like contraception and vaccines and information about how the body works and how to stay safe. Who knows where I'd be without that.
Being too easy is just not being smart about it. What I mean is don't just sleep with literally anyone. Be smart and be a little bit selective, because you never know what you'll end up with. They might seem normal/sane at first, but shit happens.
Of course I'm only speaking from my own experience and a few friends, so I can't speak for everybody.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why chlamydia? Im pretty sure that cureable with like 3 days worth of prescription antibiotics. Why not bring out the big guns of STDs like HIV, AIDs or hell the worst one an unplanned kid.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:04:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking of the Mean Girls reference.
Also, I totally agree with you that there are far, far worse things than chlamydia, but since if often presents no symptoms, you don't even know you have it until it's done some damage. Which is slightly scary and sticks in my mind.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:14:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably because the more conservative girls (who haven't had a "slutty" period) aren't on Reddit and it's not really a representative population. The girls on Pinterest seem to be at the other end of the spectrum, for example. Or because it's not an uncommon thing for people to go through, like how some people experiment with drugs.
As for what to believe in, that's up to you. I believe people can be pretty dynamic and change a lot, and while I'm interested in people's histories, I don't think they necessarily reflect on who that person is now. That's just based on my experience, though. Everyone is different.
I'm far from the person I was six months ago that really just wanted someone (or a few someones) to fill the void and hope I wouldn't be judged for it, but obviously some people will judge me anyway and I'm fine with that.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:42:38 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:52 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll still say Reddit isn't necessarily the most reliable source. People could be bitter or their perception could be different. By some peoples' standards, I'm "too easy," but by others, I just did normal twenty-something-single-person stuff.
The thing to remember is that even if a lot of people did have a phase like that, people can and do grow out of it. I certainly did after I realized one day that I just didn't enjoy it, and I can rattle off a list of others who had an, er, adventurous past, but are happily committed and/or married and it's all behind them. Cheating is different - I would be hesitant to trust someone who'd ever cheated. But some people play the field while they're single, get tired of being casual, and realize they want something more fulfilling.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 18:31:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He doesn't care what my "body count" is - he didn't even ask. It doesn't matter who I've been with in the past, it only matters that I'm with him now.
I hope you're not saying that anyone who disagrees with this is immoral. It's fine that you believe this, but I personally believe in waiting for marriage. I'm not forcing my beliefs on you or anyone, and I expect that you're not doing the same.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:21:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I absolutely agree with you (in not forcing beliefs on anyone). I'm only trying to say that to me, it's important that my partner not mind what I've done in the past, as it doesn't reflect who I am today.
Other people, of course, believe differently, and just because those beliefs aren't compatible with mine doesn't make them any less valid. Just different things to consider when picking a partner.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for clarifying
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No trouble at all. Going over it again, it does seem a bit vague.
Well, you can doubt me all you want or you can take me at face value. Regardless, I know that I'm currently very happy and planning a wedding, and I'm not going to prove myself to a stranger on the Internet.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:09:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've been with him on and off through the last 5 years. Yes, I've slept around. I'm not denying that. And just because I "don't seem like the marrying type" doesn't mean I'm not.
How about we don't make assumptions and generalizations based on comments on reddit? My comments and post history don't give nearly enough information for anybody to judge.
Or you could let your daughter make her own decisions.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are some decisions that are too important to make alone.
One of the jobs we parents have is to insert ourselves in our child's lives if they are about to fuck up something big time. This is one of those times I would be very, very insistent.
Give your guidance all you want. But you should instill that ability in her from a young age, and her entire life let her feel comfortable talking to you and asking you for advice. Instead of just telling her no or trying to force her to see your way.
But keep in mind that you have to let your children learn on their own.
Well - who the hell wants to marry a virgin? What a recipe for divorce.
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 15:46:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What is wrong with being a virgin tho. As long as she is a nice human abd our personalities match I doubt her being a virgin will be the reason for the divorce.
LordFu ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 16:10:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You must be 12. Sexual compatibility is a big part of a healthy relationship.
Sure it's a big part of a relationship, but that can be explored and learned during marriage. Part of the fun is learning what works, what doesn't, and exploring each other. That can be done while dating or during marriage. An open dialogue and communication really is the key to a happy marriage, in and out of bed.
yanroy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:42:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But if you're not compatible, it's a bit late to back out at that point
LordFu ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 17:42:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And if you discover you aren't compatible, you're only out years of your life...
Your view is naive.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:31:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What? That depends entirely on the people involved. It may be a big part of your relationship but not everyone else's.
Compatibility is reciprocal. You're really agreeing with the poster above. If sex isn't that important to you, then you need to find a partner who also considers sex unimportant. Neither partner would be sexually compatible with somebody who considers sex very important.
Very true. I didn't know how important sex would be to me (and how important it would be to find someone with a compatible drive and kinks) unil I started having sex.
I feel like it's a fact that being a virgin makes you more attractive to a lot of men, I mean it's at least a common thing where men find previous promiscuity a bit disconcerting. We are basically hardwired to be possessive types on an evolutionary/biological level so I'm not sure this counts as a lie.
No mom. Every period of my life since has been better. Not that high school sucked, because it certainly didn't, but the periods of my life afterwards have been so much better. Examples include:
Going to college and joining a learning community, then a fraternity.
Taking a year off of school to work, since I was struggling in school like never before (I'm sure my borderline alcoholism didn't help) - it got my foot in the door at the company I work for now, and I've since moved into a much better role with a much higher salary.
Going back to school and finally getting to live in aforementioned fraternity, where I got to meet the guy who will co-best man my wedding one day.
Going through a string of relationships that have helped shape me into the partner I am today.
While dealing with my pregnant girlfriend was no fun most days (being emotional before raging hormones certainly didn't help), my son has been the most incredible blessing in my life.
Again, high school didn't suck. But life after high school has been so much better, without even taking into account the freedoms that come with age (I never really gave a shit about going to the bars, I was more excited to finally be able to buy my own fucking booze and not have to bother anyone else about it).
Kahzgul ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 16:54:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When people tell you X is the best time of your life, they mean it was the best time of their life. Your mom peaked in high school. Sorry.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:30:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was a different experience for me. I think my parents told me that so I would make the most out of it, even if it was going to be bad. Funnily enough it wasn't because I made it good. I made good choices I behaved optimistically and I worked hard. Life happens with or without you so make the most of it.
It's a bit different if you're bullied, I'm afraid.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can sympathise. I was bullied as a child but never at sixth form (uk college equivalent). I'm not sure if it just happens less. How I dealt with it up until then was simply having a good circle of friends. bullies existed all the time till sixth form but I had a good set of mates and I worked on myself as well. I know this is incoherent but what I want to say to anyone reading this is that there is something you can do about your situation. Work on yourself, become better, make friends and most importantly let go of the anger. I know how that anger feels the rage against people who make you feel helpless and let me tell you it's worth letting go. I don't mean ignore it and them I mean deal with them without getting angry and emotional.
hood125 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:52:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kahzgul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That clips makes me a little sad. I used to think Mike Meyers was funny, and now even when I see things I used to laugh at, they just don't work for me anymore.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:48:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Kahzgul ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am not sure at all what you're asking. Just click "context" and you can see what post it was on.
mtbt ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Eh, that's kind of shorthand for "High school is the last time in your life where you essentially have zero responsibilities, so fucking relax and enjoy it, because when you get older you can have wonderful worldly experiences but they'll always be tempered by the day-to-day shitshow of life"
But it's not good shorthand because that message doesn't translate until you're older. I didn't understand the point of that line until someone (an uncle?) actually told me "no responsibilities" version explicitly. Without clarifying, it's often just a shitty thing to say to someone who's not very happy in high school.
I like this post a lot. It kind of illustrates how the messiness of life that we fear so strongly can be beautiful. If you told someone that they would need to drop out of school because of an alcohol problem or have a pregnant girlfriend, then they would have so much anxiety over those possible outcomes. Yet, those outcomes, the same outcomes that everyone fears happening to them, has lead you to a happy and fulfilling spot in your life.
It's just really cool to see how that which you can fear so powerfully can actually bring you what you were scared it would take away.
Not saying this is true for your mom, but my dad told me that because high school really was the best time of his life and things went to shit and stayed there afterwards. High school was fine for me, but every stage after has gotten better. It took me a while to realize he never experienced that and was telling me the truth as he saw it.
Tooch10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody has ever seriously said to me that HS would be the best time of my life. If anything, people have said that if HS was the best time of your life, you need to make some changes.
a-r-c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
high school was the shit
weed and pussy and concerts and house parties all the time and MORE FUCKING MONEY THAN I HAVE NOW BECAUSE I GOT PAID CASH UNDER THE TABLE AND DIDN'T HAVE ANY BILLS!
The whole "high school is the best time of your life" thing is just a horrible thing to tell people. I mean, do you walk up to anyone else and tell them "It's all downhill from here"?
Going into sixth grade, my grandmother told me, "Middle school is the best time of your life!" Going into freshman year, I heard "High school is the best time of your life!" Going into college, it was "College is the best time of your life!" Same applied to birthdays. Turning 12? Best year I'll ever have. Turning fifteen? Best year too. Turning sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, it's all been the same. I turn twenty in a few days and I know I'll get the same thing.
As a somewhat recent high school graduate and not yet in college. Adult life is so shit. High school was a blast compared to working all day at a fucking car wash for minimum wage.
For some reason that reminds me of this one community who believes autism is cause by parasites. How to get rid of those parasites? Give your innocent child a bleach enema.
Look it up, I am not kidding. Shit will make your blood boil.
Im_Pronk ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:13:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Nutella?! That's your mothers special diet food, you'd hate it."
I was like 25 when I found out...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:54:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Me and little bro got those awful peanut butter wafers. I total bought her lie and never even tried Nutella though. That packaging was so boring looking.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:19:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Im_Pronk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:52:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can eat it for breakfast?!?!
I have on other lie I never even questioned until my YOUNGER brother told me a few years back...
So my Dad has a massive scar from his waist to his sternum, to the point where his bellybutton is off set. Growing up I was told it was a surgery scar. It didn't surprise me because he had multiple shoulder/knee/elbow surgeries when I was younger. Turns out he had been held up outside of a bar in his twenties on Thanksgiving. He didn't feel like giving up his stuff so his assailant pulled out a knife and stuck him. He was left gut like a fish and left for dead. I've never asked him about it personally, but my MUCH older brothers (from a previous marriage) told us some passer-by found him shortly after and got him to a hospital. Not so much my Mom hiding anything, but both of my parents.
sssl3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still don't like Nutella. My co-workers eat it so much.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess this only applies to Israeli mothers that tell all children : by the time you will be grown up there will be peace and you won't have to become a soldier
I told my son that Thomas the Tank Engine eats poo.
He now accepts that as fact.
Yet, he doesn't seem to mind Thomas' shit fetish...
Oh, common? Perhaps if more mothers told their children that Thomas is a shit-eater, we wouldn't have Thomas the Tank Engine's theme tune rolling through our brains all the time.
hms11 ยท 228 points ยท Posted at 15:48:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm confused.
You wanted to break your sons fascination with Thomas the Tank Engine by telling him he eats poo?
You have now combined a boys two favourite things:
Heavy equipment and bowel movements.
I distinctly recall child-me realizing part-way through playing in some mud that it was a mess and going to dry and be dirt. I doubt any poop-eating occurred after that switch flipped in my brain.
Eventually children understand the inherent danger of mess, running into traffic and jumping headfirst into concrete. Until then, damn, I am shocked that more children don't perish from snacking on random field poop.
I remember one time I did something stupid. I don't remember what. And my mom's usual stuff wasn't working. She said "just wait until your dad gets home and you explain to him what you did." I was so scared all day even though it was my mom who got more mad than my dad.
My dad gets home and was basically like "meh whatever" and I realized that day if my mom said that line I had nothing to worry about.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:10:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It wasn't until my 20s that my parents finally relented and stopped trying to tell me that game consoles damage TVs. They said the VCR was "different."
I'm not sure why they expected me to believe that, considering we only ever had one TV need repairs, and there wasn't a console hooked up to it. I was only about 12 at the time and I'll admit, I gave them a little hell and blamed their VCR for breaking the TV.
consoles are specifically designed to attach to televisions. If they weren't, they'd come with their own monitor that would greatly increase MSRP. The logic that something specifically designed to work with a TV can break it is absurd at best. Sure, the image can burn into the TV, but simply plugging a console into a TV isn't going to render it unusable.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And that's pretty much exactly what I told them every time, too.
It was obvious they just didn't want me playing games on the big TV, but I wasn't gonna let misinformation slide.
I heard that all the time, like bread crust is like an apple or potato peel. It was just a couple years ago that I realized the crust is the same as the rest of the bread. I'm 30.
Recently went off on my dad for this same lie....same epiphany....he laughed like a maniac.
Husband told me if it doesn't have seeds or something it's probably the least nutritious part because it's probably covered in oil of some sort and has more carcinogens from being more cooked.
I didn't give a fuck, get rid of the crust. It's disgusting. Still is. I cut that shit off.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:24:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I HATE Crust, I leave it on and use it as a place to grab the sandwich from... I guess it's just another point of my life that I do the exact same way every time with no change haha
Sll3rd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:39:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately, I have. It's just as asinine as any of the other stupid lies parents tell their children.
I understood it was always a "no"... but early in my life I had a rudimentary grokking of "nothing is impossible, just highly improbable": that there was a low chance of her saying yes, but she could STILL say yes, as the future wasn't written yet.
That, and I think she expected me to forget the next day.
So, the next day will roll around... sometime around the same time as before: "Hey ma, can we [do the thing]?"
I'm sorry. I'm sorry that your mother said that ("even if you're gay" makes it sound like it's something she would forgive you for, when it's nothing to forgive), and I'm sorry that she said it and it still turned out to be a lie.
He's too young to know what we're saying, but my wife and I always tell our son that we will love him, no matter what. He'll do things to disappoint us (being gay would not be one of those things), but even when we disapprove of his actions, he will always be loved.
My wife has been teasing me a bit because I've been super emotional since our son was born. I mean, I was always a little more emotional than her, but it's been crazy since he's been born. Reading through this thread made me tear up several times at the thought of any child not knowing that his (or her) parents were reliable and a source of unconditional love. I think that's the bare minimum of what parents owe their children...
The fact that it makes my son "very lucky" or qualifies us as "good people" (as the other reply said) is making me sad all over again.
AAannnnd this is what I was hoping to see. It's heartbreaking when "I love you no matter what" turns into "I love you when you're the person I want you to be." You're a good, good person. My parents are wonderful, don't get me wrong, but that sentence completely describes my mom. It hurts. When all you want in the world is for someone to accept you for who YOU are and not the idea of who they want you to be, it hurts. Bad. When I have kids, I want them to know that I truly do love them unconditionally. Thank you for being that way. It means more than you know.
You have no idea how much warmth and optimism open-minded and loving parents like yourselves give me. Admittedly a little jealous but it is far overshadowed by the good.
I honestly think they were trying to mean it. I heard that all through childhood too. I'm not too sure about my sexuality yet but my parents think I'm blind straight. However, I know it would be a problem for them, even if they don't want it to be.
Just another thought: whenever I tell people I don't want kids they get unreasonably angry. Normal, nice people, start telling me they hope I get a surprise unwanted child. They're doing this because they think I'm attacking their way of life, or what they envision for themselves. So when people freak out because you're gay, it might be that same thing. They feel like you're attacking their lifestyle.
Hope my rambling helped. Internet hugs!
mirshe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:24:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think Mom knows I'm gay, and I know she'd support me if I came out. Dad likely would too, but he's a little more religious, and a lot stronger on the "I accept it, but I don't have to like it" thing.
At 14 I tried to tell my mother I'm gay. As soon as the topic of gay people came up I got a long, angry lecture that if I or my brother were gay we'd be thrown out of the house, disowned, and not allowed to ever come back.
28 years later she still doesn't know, and she's just as homophobic as before, and my father has somehow managed to increase his homophobia.
The point is that the OP is implying that his mom doesn't love him for who he is. You're coming across as saying "Haha, my mom loves me, sucks that yours doesn't :)"
tl;dr You're acting like an ass
ademnus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oooooh honestly? I didn't see it that way. If that's so, I'm sorry.
Sure, but the truth is that ppl are really complicated, much more complicated than the simplistic lie my mom told (with good intent).
There are many and varied motivations for someone's actions. "Because you were nice to them" is one of them. That ain't the entire list, tho'.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:28:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know where you live, but where I live this is true and applies to 99% of people. Don't let that other 1% bum you out too much, they're probably just broken and sad inside.
Polite is not the same as nice. The person who'd smile in your face would also stick a knife in your back if it helped them get ahead. Buncha crabs out there.
NR258Y ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:58:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my God, who shit in your cereal? Im with Data, most people return in kind.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:00:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if that's your view of people then I have a hard time imagining you being genuinely nice to others, and if that's the case then that shines through and people will treat you exactly the same way back.
That or you're spending a lot with that 1%. (or you are that 1 %)
My mom and step dad work fucking artists with that tooth fairy shit. They somehow managed to pull my pillow out from under my head and replace it with $10 in pennies.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:55:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:09:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom made a special pillow to set next to the bed. There was a little pocket for the tooth and the money. Never realized until now it was just to make life easier.
MHG73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Vanetia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! I caught my parents stuffing the stocking when I was 4 (they didn't know, I had crept out to the living room because I heard "Santa" and then realized what was happening and crept back to bed so they wouldn't feel bad about ruining my childhood)
And yet I still believed in the tooth fairy for a few more years.
ademnus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom was not on board with the Easter bunny. She did the tooth fairy thing and was all for the Santa Claus deception -but on Easter she made sure you knew the chocolate was from her and not some rabbit.
I figured out the tooth fairy first and the rest came after that. Easter was the nearest holiday and I was worried I wouldn't get any more candy because I knew.
I still did! I still do to this day actually, my mom is great :)
holy shit your son is a genius. he's just 6 and he can see straight through all that shit? impressive. what does he think of religion? does he think that God is real?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:49:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stole my mom's iPhone when I was about 8 or 9 and googled Santa Claus. I was almost certain by that point that it was garbage, but I was worried that they may have put something on my own PC that would tell me otherwise. Now I know my dad's a computer privacy geek who would never do that.
Also, my parents briefly tried to use some sort of weird web censorship software on my computer. I knew where the XP install discs were.
My Mum would say that when ever I got money since I was 5. When I turned 13 my Mum handed me a couple hundred pounds in a roll and said "Here you go. Are you glad I didn't let you spend it all on sweets."
Props to my mom for letting me keep the hundred bucks I got from my dad (the only money we got from him for a few years) and letting me spend it on manga despite the fact that we desperately needed money. She's a wonderful mom.
overbend ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 16:03:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't touch that baby bird, the mama bird will abandon it if it smells like you."
No, that's not true, although after several generations of moms telling this to their kids most people probably believe it. Really, moms just started saying this so their kids wouldn't touch a dirty (and possibly sick) bird because birds carry disease.
Yeah, my mom always told me that too because she believed it. Then when I got older a teacher or professor mentioned that it was a myth so I did some research.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen abandoned baby birds too, but they were probably sick and/or the mom had died. When I was little I saw a baby bird that was kicked out of its nest because it was born without legs.
sweadle ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:56:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll be off the phone in one second"
lark83 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:40:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair I agree this is a lie, but why in hell do you have to pester me when I am on the phone? Seriously, hours can go by with you sucked into your stupid game and then, BAM, phone rings and it is mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom!
Kurlando ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:11:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Common maybe not, but it was a huge shock for me.
When I was 3 my pacifier suddenly had a hole in it. Mom told me it got ripped in the dishwasher.
My sister, ten years younger than me, suffered the same misfortune when she was 3. This time, however, I watched my mom cut the pacifier with scissors.
The betrayal was so deep.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:19:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The lies of the mother run deep.
1) That her kids aren't as ugly as sin. They are.
2) That she's only acting in her childrens' best interest. She's not; she's acting in her best interest. It just so happens that her interests largely align with those of her brood until they start to get their own interests, then all hell breaks loose.
3) That she knows best what to do, etc. She's a clueless child who had her own kids in an attempt to shortcut her way to adulthood and you can see evidence for this in every corner of your childhood home.
Wait... we were talking about our mothers, right? Not mothers in general?
Hm...
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 16:11:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I forgot." When you ask them to get something you want from the store.
Tbf, they probably did. I know my family has terrible memory; I was talking to my brother yesterday on the phone and he says he has to go to the bathroom and he'll call me back, he didn't call back.
I was a puppy that turned into a baby. My brother was an alien. My youngest bro hatched from a soccer ball. My sister was an a cabbage patch kid.
We knew how babies werent made this way, but we got a HUGE kick out of the stuff mom made up.
I did think you could buy a baby at Kroger for a whilw though because of the huge baby displays they had.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:41:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it's ok, my dad always told me he shit me out one day. when I was little I actually contemplated it.. you can probably guess how my mother reacted when she found out I was going around school telling kids that my dad took a huge poop and found me in the toilet when I was a baby lol
In Scandinavia there is this old story about trolls living in the woods that would kidnap baby princesses and replace them with their own troll babies, my sister had me believe I was a troll baby for so many years and my mother usually just went along with it saying she took me to the doctor when I was a baby to surgically remove my tail and such. It really messed with my head even if I can laugh about it now.
sawicki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother would tell me that she found me in a cabbage patch...
My mom was on the fundraising board for everything my sister liked, brought back the entire sports program at my sisters school so she could play volleyball, and yet she couldn't do anything for my interests, and when I confronted her, she acted like she did the things for my sister for me. "You love volleyball!". I can't stand vollyeball, and I don't enjoy sports but I sure would have loved some science fundraising.
gabriot ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:00:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're beautiful/handsom" statistically probably the most common lie told by mothers
Mom: Why don't you have a pretty girlfriend yet?
Me: I have severe depression, am antisocial, and have pretty much zero charm or sense of humor.
Mom: Don't say that! hot, female cheer captain walks by in yoga pants (mom yells) MY SON IS SINGLE AND HANDSOME AND CHARMING AND LOVES WOMEN LIKE YOURSELF
Me: attempts to hide behind behind the cash register in grocery store
It's because to your mom, you are. I think my one nephew was hit with the ugly stick (still love the kid but he's really ackward looking) and my SIL says he's the most handsome thing ever and posts a ton of Facebook pbotos.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone mom believes their children are beautiful, especially when they are little.
Xydos ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:07:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: Can I get thing?
Mom: I'll think about it.
proceeds to not acknowledge thing for the rest of my life in hope of you not remembering that you want thing
If I had to wake up at 7:30 to go to school, my mom would come into my room at 7:00 and flick on and off the lights over and over telling me it's time to get up. Pissed me off to no end. I would just stay in bed just to spite her because I was so mad at the way she woke me up.
I tried telling her, wake me up gently and tell me the exact time and I'll get up on time but she never listened.
I reply "okay yes, if anyone I should believe you" she grounds me for acting retarded, refuses to get any medical evidence of my retardation and requires 4.0 grades from me. And if I forgot to do the dishes blaming my "retardation" gets me in trouble. But she's allowed to vent and call me a retard whenever she forgets a grocery. Because that's "my fault"
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:07:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's got what plants crave
TheCooz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:49:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jewish mothers often tell their children that they can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery if they have tattoos. The look on my mom's face when I asked our rabbi and he said "no, you'd still be fine" was priceless.
Right, but it doesn't say nor necessitate the loss of burial privileges, just that it is an act against god. The rest is assumed because of that, and so most cemeteries don't really mind - though there are some that do refuse to bury tattooed or pierced bodies among their own. It's certainly not universal.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This guy had a mom.
kazfiel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:38:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Date:
November 5, 2002
Source:
American Chemical Society
Summary:
The best thing since sliced bread may be bread crust: Researchers in Germany have discovered that the crust is a rich source of antioxidants and may provide a much stronger health benefit than the rest of the bread.
American Chemical Society. "Bread Crust And Stuffing Rich In Healthy Antioxidants." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 5 November 2002. <www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2002/11/021105080817.htm>.
There you go.
I got downvoted because I was right. Yay.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't upvote or downvote you, I just said you had a mom :S
kazfiel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
added the research done on it.
I remembered it from a few years ago. Baking it apparently pushed certain nutrients outside or traps them outside or something. The crust has more vitamins/minerals and antioxidants than the rest of the bread.
Not sure if this goes for every kind of bread, but I know it does for sourdough.
No they fucking won't. You just make yourself the perfect target for said bully, and everything becomes that much worse. Take your kid to some self-defense classes and teach them to stick up for themselves. Don't let yourself be a victim
Food for thought... During cold weather, bacteria finds its way inside to stay warm. When you go outside in the cold without a coat, your blood vessels constrict, making it difficult or impossible for white blood cells to travel through your bloodstream to fight the bacteria. So when you go inside, where you are exposed to all the bacteria in your warm house, your white blood cells can't fight it off as easily, resulting in you getting sick.
So being cold doesn't directly make you sick. Being cold and then immediately going inside does.
wtfduud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess being cold makes your nose more runny, so it's easy to see why people correlate cold to cold.
Please give me your reasoning on this. And what does impolite mean? I think it's impolite if you flick them, yeah. But the extraction hurts no one. It's just like picking your teeth, etc. I have been with people that LOST IT on the subway about how rude someone picking their teeth was. I'm just not sure why.
Know what's worse? The dick that sits next to you sniffling and doing facial contortions instead of relieving themselves.
It is absolutely not a learned behavior...Babies learn that their fingers fit up there not long after they discover how to make their fingers go where they want them to. It's a fine motor skill.
I literally only pick my nose when I'm sitting on the toilet peeing so I can wipe it on toilet paper and wash my hands after. I was not one of those moms who brought their baby in the bathroom with them. Kid figured out nose picking at about ~9 months old.
Converd ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:47:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't even matter their intentions, their actions, or inaction... someday they will leave you. It's not even up to them whether they stay or go. You might as well be saying "I'm going to live to be 200". No, you're not... you're just kidding yourself, and those around you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, don't cut the onions yet
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised someone even saw my comment...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:43:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents just turned 60. My mom has cardiac problems. I'm stressing over this one, hard.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry to hear that. If I could be of any help, please say so.
I'll get you to X on time. My mom was chronically late to everything to the point where my brother would lie about needing to be somewhere 30min early just so he would arrive on time.
It's not your fault daddy and I are getting a divorce.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:48:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Never got this one. Like, it isn't your fault. You were born, did baby stuff, then did children stuff. Ubless you were literally Hitler from the get go, how could it possibly be the child's fault?
Ibbot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:36 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When children are really young, they see the world as centered around them, and the things that happen in a lense of how it relates to them. That makes it really easy for them to take a large negative change in their life and think that it was somehow caused by them, whether it makes any sense or not.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:02:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But he was saying that the parents were lying when they were saying 'it's not your fault'.
Ibbot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:30:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, nevermind then. He was probably trying to be "edgy".
I noticed my nephew is always getting showered with these compliments by the women in the family and it made me remember how much used to I hear it too. I was not a good kid. Realized in my 30's it's conditioning to instill a sense of shame for acting bad.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:20:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You keep touching it you go blind!" Jokes on you mom! I jack off at least four times a day and all I got going on are glasses.
"Oh you're so handsome son" that explains the line of women waiting to get with me, wait what women? must be a lie.
MDev01 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:29:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife would told our son that the ice cream truck was a music truck. After a few summers he wanted to know why the "Music Truck" was giving out ice cream.
He is in medical school now so maybe there is still hope.
edit: We are helping with tuition with the money we saved.
My grandmother has long joked about my various girlfriends because when I was in first grade I had a - very public - crush on a girl in my class. Yeah, I'm no closer to a relationship now than I was then.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, used to fucking hate it when that happened, especially since it's so obviously untrue.
My mom used to tell me people would stop and ask her if i was ''an irish prince'', i never looked ''irish'' and i later found out Ireland didn't have any princes so WTF MOM
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:40:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Verbalizing might vibrate atoms but I didn't get ice cream before breakfast because of lack of courage. Any mothers out there just lean over and say to their kids "Because you don't have the balls to defy me little man?" How'd that kid turn out?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:59:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:59:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My parents were like this too. They taught me to value honesty and did so by not lying to me about stuff. Even things like Santa, they never said Santa was real, it was just a fun thing to do at Christmas (so yeah, I was 'that kid' that told all the other kids that Santa wasn't real haha). They're not perfect parents but in this case they got it right, imo.
This has got to be one of the worst ones. It teaches children to be afraid of police officers instead of seeing them as safe adults they can turn to if they need help. :/
Same for: going to the movie theater an hour early, going to the airport (pre-TSA) two hours early, going to a party (or some event) a half-hour early...
That when I was 7 and wanted the YMCA theme song played repeatedly on the way back home from getting my brother from his babysitter, that she couldn't play the song because it wasn't on the radio yet. It was on a CD, of course.
As a mother, I'll tell you why I say "maybe or later" when I want to really say no. If I tell my son a flat out "no", it becomes an issue. "You always say no", this goes on and on and then we end up in an argument because all of the sudden he's pouting and rolling his eyes and this almost always occurs out in public (where I can't act like a real mother). So, we'll see or maybe prevents the madness temporarily. Also, sometimes I have a tendency to say no, no matter what, because I'm busy, or just out of touch at the moment, so I use maybe for more time to think about it. I know if it's something he really wants to do, and it's reasonable, more than likely I'll agree eventually, but I also like him to plead his case. That is an invaluable skill in the real world. I want him to be able to keep going so he doesn't just give up or feel defeated. I'm training him to be a strong minded, but respective human being.
'That's the Policeman/Woman (whilst pointing) they will take you away when you are naughty and don't do as Mummy/Daddy says.....' - 1) That is not correct, "Timmy" is 4 years old. 2) Do you really want "Timmy" to run away from the Police when he is lost?
This is my number one pet hate!
Galfonz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately 2 probably depends on what color Timmy is?
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:36:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My mom loves her "proven facts".
Fact 1: "It is a proven fact that every Italian man cheats on his wife."
Fact 2: "It is also proven that Greek men are worse"
Fact 3: "You'll only have friends if you're an athlete"
Fact 4: "Being born in America makes you white. Unless your black."
The parents of a friend of mine always made sure the kids never saw sweets in their bags or wrappers when they were little- they'd be given a little bowl of sweets or whatever - so the kids didn't recognise the bags on the sweets section of the supermarket and never bugged them for sweets while shopping.
geten23 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:20:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're not fat you're just big boned
323445 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:58:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not really on topic, since I'm sure it's not a common lie, and it was my dad, but i thought I'd share anyway.
My dad took my three older sisters and me (his 7/8 year old son) out arrowhead hunting one spring day on his old stopping grounds.
After an eternity of searching (maybe an hour), all of my sisters have found arrowheads.
Not me.
Discouraged, i slumped to the ground in defeat. My dad, who is just a few feet away, says "i think this is a really good spot to look over here". So i dragged myself over to where he was, and looked.
I'll be damned if wasn't a goddang arrowhead setting neatly on top of the sand. I found one!
Turns out that my dad had actually found these arrowheads when he was a kid in the same woods we were in, and thought of a clever way to pass them along to us.
I believed that I discovered that arrowhead until well into my twenties.
No idea man, just a thing parents do, a lot of my friends all thought it was illegal too, parents told them the same thing, I didn't really find out it wasn't until was like 23, just kinda forgot about it. It's funny looking back on it, kids are so gullible, and telling us its illegal and they could get a ticket is a quick way to get us to shut-up and do what they say.
"My child is much better, their nose isn't even running anymore."
I work in a daycare. 9 out of 10 children have been dosed up with panadol and when 2pm hits, we suddenly have a bunch of runny nosed, coughing kids with temperatures.
Just stay in the car it'll only take me a minute I just go to grab a few things from the store. Comes back an hour later with 40 bags. What the hell ma
No ma'am I'm a doctor and have evidence to back up my statement: giving your children vaccines will not give them autism and will help prevent disease x and y. So, in this case, my twelve years at med school trumps whatever you think is "best for your child"
No, but most of the times I've heard it said, it was not in some complex situation where really only a mother would understand. Often times it's just the kid(s) is acting like a little prick and trying to help is just met with that.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:03:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll be okay, its just a cough".
It wasn't until I paid to send her to the doctor that she found out she had late stage lung cancer, and they gave her a year to live. It's been 10 years since she passed away, and I miss her more every single day.
I'm so sorry for your loss man, hope your doing okay now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, honestly it was really hard. My dad took it the hardest, he got remarried right away and moved 800 miles away. Now I have kids of my own, so I tell them about her all the time, still makes me tear up when I think about it. Never forget to tell your parents that you love them, it might just be the last time.
I've consistently found that I'm only successful with women when I exclusively and explicitly try for sex. If I try anything else it doesn't work, if I put anything else as a top priority (because frankly for me the companionship aspect is probably just as important if not more so) it doesn't work.
If I start out befriending them, it never goes any further. If I make it clear that I want to date her and take her out a few times, maybe kiss her but take it slow they lose interest (or assume I'm not that interested). The only thing women seem to respond to is guys pursuing them for sex; I then later find myself trying to transition things into a relationship because that's what I was after in the first place - to varying degrees of success. It's not that I have to be an asshole, I'm nice at the same time, I just have to come off like all I want from her is sex even if that's not the case.
I think this is where a lot of the 'nice guy' resentment comes from, a misunderstanding/social construct that pursuing women for sex is somehow a bad thing.
Regvlas ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:22:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, i can get behind that. just seemed a bit red pill-y. We're in agreement, though.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:28:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
tbh once i read your comment i re-read what i originally put, realized that how i worded it made me look like the "wahhh i'm nice and don't have any womyn this is bullshit" type, and got super embarrassed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
happens
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:32:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No lie, I started being more successful with girls as soon as I showed I was willing to walk away from any bullshit they say. It's like they take it as an insult and attach to you. Not that I'm just being an asshole. Just that when you become friends, and a week later they tell some story about an ex or how "x is so unfair" and instead of sucking up to them, you say "I like you more when you're not talking about this".
What mom SHOULD say is "girls like a nice guy that sticks up for himself". But mom doesn't say that because she doesn't want to be reminded how dad didn't play stupid games with her.
Now I'm a 25 yo guy and I'll be honest I use to be the guy who was nice and not interesting. Now I'm just don't care and tent to be on the rude side and still do the same shit and more women come up to me now than ever. (I don't do shit with that cause I miss my ex and I wanna be the nice guy but only with her) so yeah I hope your right but in my experience it is quite the opposite
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 13:53:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When they go on about how wonderful being a mother is. Bullshit, their lives are a trainwreck of shit, piss, more shit, and no sleep.
But they get to experience the growth of another human being. They created that person and they get to watch them learn and create things and - hopefully - succeed. The humor and milestones of a mother's children are unique and worth the struggles of parenthood. When you are a mother, you get the chance to meet the best, loveliest, brightest person or people the world could ever have. You know they are yours to love for eternity. The trust and need and love they can have on you is the most gentle thing you witness in your life as a mother. There is also the pride in knowing you did a good job when they appreciate you.
Sure, a mother gets a trainwreck of a life for maybe 20 years per kid, but the sake of family and the laughs and the achievements and lessons and memories are a treasure you can enjoy for eternity.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:35:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or just get a dog and get something that loves you without destroying your life to the point you have to lie to yourself just to avoid considering suicide.
Do you seriously think the vast majority of women voluntarily "destroy their lives"? Suicide rates for new mother's aren't nearly high enough to back up your claim.
The only cases I can see this becoming an issue for is teen pregnancies and already depressed people getting pregnant.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I said they lie to themselves to avoid suicide. As in they don't actually go through with it because they have entrenched themselves in a world of delusion that their lives are totally not in ruins from their bad life choices. So in a way, it's a good thing they lie.
They don't have to lie to themselves, raising a kid is immensely rewarding. It's a lot of effort, but every milestone they reach is a milestone for you as well.
Everything you've said here is ridiculously overdramatized and/or factually incorrect. It's a lot of effort, lost sleep, and restricted finances, yes. There are points for and against it - but it's certainly not a "life ruiner" unless you fail to adequately plan for a child... in which case, you've planned to fail.
Not every dog is easy to take care of either, Both animals and kids each have different personalities and health conditions; some very easygoing, some very messy, some very aggressive, some very quiet, some very playful, some very intelligent, so on.
Both dogs and kids are mischievous. Both also have bodily excrement.
Sometimes you find interesting stuff in it though, to be honest.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:51:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a mother?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:52:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank sweet Jesus I'm not.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then you don't know what their lives are like, don't assume
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have to assume, it's pretty obvious.
DaisyB ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:58:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Before I had my kid, I thought that too. I assumed I would have to grind through the early years to get to the good stuff with science fairs, etc. I was so wrong. It's been awesome from day 1. When I "go on about how wonderful being a mother is" that's me speaking my truth. My toddler daughter is my favorite person. I feel so lucky, and I can't believe I almost missed out on being a parent.
I'll readily admit the first year was a nightmarish hell (colic), but even within my zombie year my son was the best thing that ever happened to us.
And now, now it's just outright fucking fun. He's funny. He has brought knock knock jokes back into my life (shit, I didn't even know I was missing them!).
No matter how shitty my day is I come home and this ball of love comes running up yelling, "Mama! I missed you! Let's play King of Tokyo." He loves me more than my dog loves me. And my dog thinks I created bacon and trees. And I love him more than anything I've ever loved in my life.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:01:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kids are toilet trained by age 3 mostly and only usually have trouble sleeping for the first few months to a year. That's hardly a life full of shit and no sleep. You don't get peed on unless you leave a nappy off for too long. You were once a child you know. Is your mother's life full of shit, piss and no sleep?
LMAO "A FEW MONTHS TO A YEAR" HAHAHAHAHA. Whilst I don't agree with shitheads hate for children/motherhood, whoever told you that was either blessed with a child saint or (more likely) blatantly lying to your face. Kids can have irregular sleeping patterns for years. My brother is three and will still wake up 3-4 times a week in the middle of the night crying for ages. If you have kids please don't go into it expecting your sleep to return to normal after a year.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:20:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well it depends whether you train your kid to sleep at night, my 15 month old has slept 12 hours through the night without waking since he was about 8 weeks old. Obviously some kids refuse to be trained to sleep well but most are able to be and should be.
We didn't do 'cry it out' either, as 8 weeks is far too young for that. We bathed him every night then fed him and put him awake in his cot. If he cried we comforted him and put him back down. If he woke up to eat in the night (obviously before he was 8wks) we would keep it dark, change nappy, feed him, burp him and straight back into he cot after a short cuddle. This taught him that night time was for sleeping. He stopped waking up to eat at 8 weeks old and now he goes to sleep at half 7pm and wakes up around 8am. I believe that if you really want a good sleeping baby you have to give them a good night routine and teach them. Obviously he will wake up if he's sick or has a night mare but those nights are extremely rare and we just give him his dummy and lay him back down providing he's calmed down then he will go back to sleep.
My kid is 8 now... there's not even that much piss or lack of sleep at this point.
Right now it means I get to watch my son read Harry Potter for the first time. And I spent this weekend playing in a creek and catching tadpoles. There is a person who thinks I am amazing because I can juggle and know all the words to the Adventure Time theme song.
My husband and I can justify buying board games all the time because it's "family fun!". I get to share my favorite books, games, music, tv with a new person. Maybe I never get to watch The Last Starfighter for the first time again, but I get to watch my son experience all these things for the first time.
Then you don't know what their lives are like, don't assume
What a shitty fucking response.
People have empathy, they have imaginations, they can see what other people go through and put themselves in their place.
You don't have to be in the exact same circumstance as someone else to understand what they are dealing with.
Stop acting like being a mother is some mystical fucking thing that others cannot possibly understand.
The guy wasn't even shitting on mothers. Having a baby entails dealing with "shit, piss, more shit and no sleep."
If you are a mother an not experiencing these things you need to tell Esmeranda, your nicaraguan nanny, a big thank you.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:55:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He was implying the have shit lives because they have children. I have a 15 month old and have left him with my mum for 3 hours twice, once so I could get oral surgery when he was 10 weeks old and yesterday when he was in bed so I could go the cinema. My life is perfect and i've raised my own child thanks very much. The first few weeks are hard yes, but that doesn't mean I have a shit life or that I have a nanny. Been peed on once, shit on never and still got at least 8 hours of sleep a night since he was born.
You can also realize this by having a mother. My mother lied about how lucky she was to have my brother and I, but really all it did was ruin a very promising career and nearly bankrupt her.
I don't hate my life or anything, but it's just a fact.
LouBrown ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just a /r/childfree poster. I suppose you can take that for what it's worth.
Honestly though the piss n shit I got used to after the 3rd diaper...just didn't bother me at all. And my kid slept through the night like an angel ~1 month after coming home from the hospital. Super rare, but I got the easy baby that all the other moms hated me for.
JdiJwa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait till your dad gets home. When momma, when?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He went out to get a pack of ciggarettes.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Saint Nicolas is real (Saint Nicolas is the European equivalent of Santa Claus)
(idk if Saint Nicolas is the right word for the dude tjat comes at 6 december and gives presents)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol the good ole mexican mom trick.
Mom: "Come here real quick"
Me: "no im ok:
Mom: "no come here"
Goes because if you don't it will be much worse
Then as you flinch SMACK
My 6 year old finally worked out that "Go then, do what you ever you want" is not a good phrase to hear, and means trouble us coming this week. I was impressed she grasped it so young, I was still taking it as permission at 14!
Any advice a mother gives her son about relationships should be immediately disregarded - unless that advice is "don't get married, don't get anyone pregnant".
Well its not guarantee but it is great head start.
Wuleta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it depends on where you live.
xia976 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Somewhere kind of implies moving, doesn't it?
Wuleta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed, but it's taken out of context.
My point was - you can get somewhere in life even without a uni degree. It's not related at all. What mothers should say is: "You'll get as far in life as you desire to go. Degree or no degree. Refugee or no refugee."
Not neccesarily. In the US you can make a decent living without a college degree in skilled labor, especially if you have your own business doing it. A lot of college grads struggle to find employment, though, and are saddled with student loans they need to pay back.
Spaqin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:17:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hmmmm....this video isn't working.... Did you brush your teeth? I'm sure it's unrelated, but it Just won't start. [sister runs to brush teeth] hey there it is, that's odd.
Galfonz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:54:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Woo that's a good one. At what age do you start to worry if it still works?
This will probably get buried as am late as always but thing my mum always told me was "If you drink coffee you will grow a tail".
I believed her... ;(
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's no such thing as monsters.
2ndTake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother told me that if I kept sucking snot back up my nose it would look like Michael Jacksons nose. She said that's what happened to him. I believed her for longer than I care to admit.
That their child is cute/attractive. No. Everyone does not have attractive kid.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:51:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother told my Niece that coke and any other soda is made by juicing roaches. She hasn't drank any soda and when offered, you can tell how terrorized she is.
I feel bad but it's working. She's slightly chubby and bigger than any other on her age range.
That she has no idea what happened to that "ugly" but amazingly comfortable article of clothing you wear.
I don't care if it looks faded and torn near the bottom that shirt was the softest thing I've ever worn, dammit!
ato09 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents told my brother and I that we were allergic to chocolate so we never ate it. Didn't find out until my 18th birthday that I was allergic when my grandmother asked me if I wanted a piece of chocolate cake. She laughed and said she couldn't believe my parents told us the same thing she told my dad. Still have never tried chocolate.
Waiting in line at a shop while your mother goes to grab something else from in the store and says "Wait in line, I'll be right back!" Then you're just about to be served by the cashier and your mother is nowhere in sight.
cappo40 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:55:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're handsome, any girl would be happy to have you".
I'm 29 and I'm still waiting for my parents to come clean and tell me my first dogs died or that we had to give them away because we couldn't afford to keep all 3. We had one dog that got pregnant, and we gave away all of the pups away aside from two. The mom and one of the pups disappeared one day, and my parents said they ran away. The mom was super attached to me and super protective, so I just can't imagine her running away.
But the one that we held on to turned out to be the best dog ever. I'll never forget him :)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sorry, we just dont have the money to celebrate your birthday this year " Wouldn't seem like a lie... Until the next week a new dishwasher appears, a handbag, 2 pairs of shoes and 3 dresses are delivered.
awoelt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:18:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We can't go to the beach. There was a shark attack and all the beaches are closed so that they can clean up the blood."
KaraWolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
now there's a whopper of a lie for you 0.o lol
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:19:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to say "we'll see" when I asked her to do stuff if she really didn't want to let me do it. I found out later in life she really meant "we'll see if your forget."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But if you do forget you didn't want to actually try
My parents told both my brother and I that the ice cream truck was just a music truck. I never knew the joys of getting ice cream from a stranger who may or may not have been a pedo.
I don't know how common this is, but my mom told me that I was allergic to corn and soy products when I was little. I think it was to keep me from eating crappy food
Maybe means fuck mo, but that I also don't want to deal with your attitude/tantrum/complaining when I say no. So I say Maybe. And then that gives me a lot more time to figure out reasons for why that can't happen.
My mums favourite lies are "I don't have a favourite child" and "I brought you both up exactly the same". When I was growing up, I suffered emotional abuse as she spoilt my sibling rotten, buying things for them as I was left to go without because she never had the money for both of us. Going through this thread, I'm seeing those two lies pop up a lot!
Filobel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:34:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom would say "When kids tell lies, a dot appears on their forehead that only mothers can see". So when she didn't believe something I said, she'd say "show me your forehead!" If I hesitated, she knew I was lying.
A more common one: "Don't make silly faces, if the wind changes side, you'll get stuck like that."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:35:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was one of those kids who would put any change or money they found into a piggy bank/empty 5 gallon jug. So when I amassed the fortune of $600 in the 4th grade only to have my mom uae it and not pay it back was a little disappointing. Don't get me wrong, are wasn't using it for her hair or clothes or nothing (she used it for bills/groceries) so I feel like it's all I can do to repay her for being the greatest mom ever. But even now, I work 2 jobs and my mom's constantly"borrowing" money and it just feels like, while I'm taking 2 steps into my future, it's a hobbled 2 steps.
You might want to talk to her about that....I've never had the pay it back problem but she always got really angry when she needed to pay me back. I lent her ALL of the the money for rent once because the bank was closed and it was due in the am and the next 3 days she acted like I wouldn't stop reminding her. Catch? I never said ANYTHING about needing the money back right away. She asked to borrow it and promised to return it asap in the same sentence.
Depending on how old you are your mother really shouldn't be having to "borrow" all your money....nor if you're out of the house should you really be letting her do it all the time.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:36:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"And then one day in April, I wasn't even there,
For there were many things I didn't know.
A son was born to me. Mama held his hand,
Sayin' someday you'll understand."
Who the father is. It's not that a lot of mothers lie -- maybe only two percent do -- but those who do lie have to repeat it many thousands of times over their lifetimes.
The only lie I've ever known my mother to tell me was when I was a small child and i was sick. She gave me some soda randomly and told me to drink, and I did. It tasted gross and I asked her what was in it and she said "nothing" and I finished it. She then told me it was medicine and I got really mad and threw a tantrum.
Thats not exactly a lie. Most brands and off brands are made from the same materials by the same company. Its just the packaging that changes. That doesn't apply to clothes though for the most part.
My mom pulled this one frequently for great value brand products. The only one I really complained about as a kid was a honey nut cheerios clone. Tasted like stones and was just slightly easier to chew.
My mother always told me the best thing to do if i got bullied was to go straight to a teacher and tell them what had happened. In reality, this made the situation worse in so many ways. About a month later after escalated bullying, I went to my dad... He told me get the bully on his own and punch him in the nose.. I did, we got in a fight - I went full cray, beat him up and got suspended for a day. i never got bullied again and earned a lot of respect from other students
Got fired on your day off from work. Ask mom if she told your dad she says no. Then your dad calls you into the restroom while he's taking a shit and tries to convince you to be a dog catcher. I hate that shit.
-C
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We're leaving now. You're not coming? Okay we'll just go without you bye bye!"
lorthic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:56:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can do anything you set your mind to."
I remember a specific time of her saying this. I was 8, wanted to be a police officer. After she told me this, I proceeded to block traffic on my street using orange cones, and tried writing tickets. When the real cops showed up, all they did was laugh, move my cones, and tell me that I wasn't old enough.
He did, every month, when I was 10-ish and my dad remarried my stepmom brought it to our house directly wheb my Mom wasn't home instead of mailing it because they seriously stay down the street and U.S. Post Office is a terrible thing.
Also the favorite because my child support was the most.
The bread crust is where all the nutrients are. What a load of bullshit! It's just the outside of the loaf that got cooked more and tastes worse than the rest of the loaf!
Me: (excited but skeptical) Are we going anywhere after?
Mom: No we're just going to McDonald's and coming home.
Me: Ok!
proceed to McDonald's and have awesome meal
Mom: We need to stop here, here, and here before we go home. Oh and you're trying on new clothes for school. And don't give me any lip, you just got McDonald's.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh really? How bout this, you fall in love with a girl, you marry her, you buy her a house, you go to work every day payin off the house, you come home from work one day she's bangin the next door neighbor, hands you divorce papers, now you have to move out, sleep on a futon, and still pay for that house that she's gunna stay in. No reason." - Bill Burr
Spin_Me ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We can't go to McDonald's/Burger King/the Ice Cream Stand, it's closed today
aualum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I doubt it's common, but the biggest lie told to me by my mom was, "You'll get that money when you go off to school."
During the early-to-mid 1980s, the local credit union had a kind of "education savings account" for school-aged kids. Every week my parents were sending my brother and me to school with $20 and our passbooks. Every week, year after year, I'd see that balance creep higher. Unfortunately, our small, independent, credit union was swallowed up by a much larger group of CUs and the program was scrapped. No more money could be deposited into the account, but the money already there was safe. We never even looked at it, "you'll get that money when you go off to school."
You can probably already see where this is going...anyways...
I am in my graduating year, applying for scholarships, bursaries, awards, etc. I didn't earn the grades needed to count on a free-ride, but I did what I could. At least I had that money sitting in the credit union, right? There was over $2,000 in there. That's good for a semester (in the mid-1990s), right?
Me: "So, that money sitting in the credit union. Do I have to fill something out...? Apply for it...?"
Mom: "What money?"
Me: "You know. All those times you sent us to school with our passbooks?"
Mom: "I don't know what you're talking about."
Me: "I have the booklet right here. It says there's over 2-grand in the account..."
Mom: "What money? There's no money."
Me: "So, you used it?"
Mom: "I don't know what you're talking about."
I thought that I was going batty. Just to be sure, I asked my dad. He admitted that they used the money when he was getting his hours cut back at the mill and times were tough. Teen-me was heart-broken, but even then I understood. In my opinion, I think that my dad was more than a little ashamed that he had to take his kids' college funds to pay the mortgage and stuff, but I couldn't hold it against him really. But even when I went back to my mom with what I heard from my dad she doubled-down and said that my dad, "doesn't know what he's talking about".
Having what I thought was my money taken sucked. But it really was small-potatoes, the family apparently needed it, and other financial aid was available to me. So, in hindsight, it barely affected me and given how crappy with money I was when I moved out, it wouldn't have lasted long. However, being lied to and made to feel like a liar by my mom, that stung.
Day 1:do zilch all day, sleep perfectly
Day 2: do more physical labor than both parents combined, barely get two hours of sleep.
"You couldn't sleep because you need to do more outside."
My mother has never once been anywhere near the section she said she would be in any store!! I still get panicky shopping with her and I'm in my 20's!!
I wonder if it's an independence building exercise.
"Wake up honey, you'll be late for school. It's 7am."
It's actually 6:45am.
nsfwhun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:25:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That if I didn't do (time sensitive task) by the time she specified, it'd be "too late".
I always assumed when she said I had to get something done by ____, she was being literal. Turns out, she usually told me things (like registering for classes and the last drop day, paying a certain bill or fine, responding to mail) were needed 2 weeks-a month before they actually were. Same for oil changes, doc appts, etc.
All the lies about dates and stuff, while well-intentioned, made me end up researching due dates and other such details personally and never trusting her timelines. Has made me more independent but less timely than I think she expected it would.
Every time I wanted to go to the local McDonald's Playplace, my mom would tell me that Rosie O'Donnell threw up in the ball pit. I could never figure out why she would fly out to the Seattle area multiple times per week to barf in the ball pit.
Hmmm... As a mom I'm trying to figure out my biggest lie.
I think it's that I tell him homework is important.
I'm also a teacher and I don't believe in homework. But I make him do his because it's a lesson in, "You gotta do what you gotta do" and work ethic. I don't believe it actually helps students, I feel it takes away from family time and keeps kids from running around/playing/using their free time to explore their own interests and discover the world around them.
Let me clarify, that I mostly mean for elementary and middle school. And that I'm talking about rote memorization "write these lines" homework etc.
I believe homework like writing stories, having experiences, trying new things can be beneficial.
I drop that doozy on my kid all the time. I know it's not all going to work out and that life is painful and hard, but you have to bullshit your kids a little or they'll grow up terrified of everything.
set616 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:56:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
After working at a Boys and Girls Club for 3+ years the biggest lie is after the kids get in trouble and we have to have a talk with the parents. The mom always says "I'll take care of this. You won't have to worry about Johnny acting out anymore!"
The next day nothing has changed and Johnny is still the same little shit.
My mom used to always tell me that I can pick the radio station when I drive the car. I drive her around occasionally, and I find out that I spent all that time listening to shitty oldie pop for nothing.
When I was young, I asked my mom how she knew I was a boy and not a girl when I was born (I have four older sisters who were apparently very excited to have a baby brother). She said "Oh honey, I could tell by the look in your eye!"
My mom still denies to this day (15 years later?) that I NEVER had G.I. Joe's. One day I got home and they were just gone. I know it's a lir, because I still have the dog tags that come with them.
"If you don't cover your feet with your blanket the monsters will get you at night". If you're Spanish, you know this. I was never so scared of leaving a body part out at night for 5 years.
An hour later we're still in the damn car, seatbelts on, my parents are still talking to my aunt and uncle. God why?
LaLe33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:24:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you ever get arrested, don't call me! You can spend the night in jail..." I've only been arrested once (and that was one too many times) and I was a minor. I later found out that the cop would have let me go if I would have just called my mom. I was terribly stubborn so of course I didn't call her and I spent the night in jail! My mother now warns parents to never, ever make that threat.
"You're a wonderful, special child who will go far in life"
Mono275 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:49:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a dad, but I think the biggest one I tell my daughter is when we are hiking. It's almost always 5 more minutes or half a mile. She's 7 so gets tired on the way home quite a bit.
"You should wait til you're married to have sex just like we did."
After 25 years of marriage, they get divorced and you find out your mom was pregnant at the wedding. They just changed the dates on pictures and the wedding certificate hoping you'd never find out.
rekreid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:52:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about all mothers, but mine sure had some doozies.
"You can't swim for an hour after eating because you'll get a cramp and drown." No I won't, I can see all the other kids are fine...
"Eating raw cookie dough will give you salmonella poisoning." Been doing it since college now and not a single incident...
"The hamburgers can't have any pink in them or you'll get e. coli." I'm a vegetarian now in part from spending my childhood choking down hockey puck hamburgers....
"If you go into the woods during the summer you'll get Lyme disease." It's called dressing properly and wearing bug spray...
"If you leave butter out of the refrigerator for more than a couple hours it will go rancid." Some people don't refrigerate butter at all and they're fine...
"If you don't get confirmed as a Catholic you'll be kicked out of high school." Pretty sure the school would have accepted the tuition regardless and she just didn't want me questioning religion at 14. Still kinda peeved I had to go through the whole thing and declare that I would remain Catholic forever even while actively thinking I probably wouldn't. She even guilted me into picking a confirmation name I hated because it was the "traditional family name." This all backfired pretty hard about five years later.
sivman17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:16:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus
God
woodsbre ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably that being out in the cold would get you sick. No its because you are lazy and don't like us having fun in the snow, because that means you have to stand there and be cold to watch us.
" he looks just like his father" to an indistinguishable baby is a lie to convince a father that the baby is his, this is an instinctual survival strategy developed over thousands and thousands of years
We're only going to do this while your arms are broken.
rattaar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:18:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Somebody just found out they aren't special and the world is cold and brutal, and instead of hating the world for being that way they hate their mother for trying to give them some small comfort in life.
Haha my dad has showed me photos of him drinking with his buds freshman year of high school. I guess I'm on the other end of be spectrum. He's told me "go ahead and drink, but tell me so I can pick you upโ and here's some condoms even though you're single, doesn't mean you won't need em'!
Throughout children's lives their parents tell them how special they are, and that's great. The problem begins when people become adults and believe that that's still true.
In my opinion, one of the most important parts of being an adult is understanding that you're not special. In fact, you're perfectly ordinary and that's OK. There's a whole world full of people who think that they're just as important as you think you are. We identify with people who seem like us and polarize ourselves from people who seem different all because we want reinforcement as to how special we really are. This, I assert is one of the major problems with the world we live in.
I came home from school one day, and didn't see my dad's car in the driveway. I got a little worried, so I asked my mom where he was, and she said he just had to stay at work a little longer and that he would be home soon. The way she said it made it seem like she knew more than she was letting on, and I got a little nervous. I went to my room to lay down, and, of course, as soon as I stepped foot past my door, my dad leaped out of my closet and started beating me relentlessly with his jumper cables.
My parents were atheists so I never got the god bullcrap but yeah, Santa. I was heartbroken when I found out.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:47:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is a Christian but not really active, however she mentions god, papa jesus every now and then. My dad is a Buddhist and again, not that religious.
As a mom to two littles who can't tell the difference between 5min and 30min....
"5 minutes" is probably my most used lie.
"We're eating in 5 more minutes!"
"We'll be there in 5 minutes!"
"Just give me 5 minutes!"
To a toddler, 5 minutes it's the perfect amount of time between being too long a wait but also being short enough that they feel they can wait.
Don't judge me. It's about survival!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I personally do not think it is hard at all but I base that on my family life. I can imagine in a family where the mother is not respected, is expected to do 90% of the parenting and in many cases also work outside the home. Is expected to be the emotional battering board of the whole family and do so without giving any of her emotional or physical needs attention it could be very hard.
My mom would always tell me how I was born with McDonald's hash browns on my head. Said that was the reason i loved them so much. I told teachers, friends, and even random strangers. Was pretty disappointed when she told me the truth when I was 11.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll talk about it when you calm down." You mean you're just avoiding the subject so if I bring it up later it looks like I'm in the wrong for holding a grudge.
Funny how your perspective changes as you age. I interpreted this question more as "mother of your children" and come in here to high school kids talking about their mom not having dinner ready on time.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"He's your father."
Lying whore.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:15:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"The man says it's time to go now" or "the man will tell you off" etc. I worked at a theme park and parents say this shit constantly when they can't be bothered to parent. Like, no? I'm not going to pretend I'm shutting the ride and lie to your kid.
My mother would tell me about every kidnapping, rape, murder, fire, etc. that she heard about, even as a young child. She also believed in conspiracy theories and imaginary monsters, so there were those to contend with as well. She just wanted me to be "safe," or rather, know that I wasn't safe. Ever. She told me that alien abductions are real and that I had probably been abducted, because I had nightmares; that spontaneous combustion could plausibly happen in my room, so I better not shut my door, lest I be trapped in a fire and die of smoke inhalation; that nuclear holocaust could happen at any time and that any of the planes that I saw overhead could be carrying a nuclear bomb, so I should hope to be killed in the blast rather than by radiation poisoning; that strangers are always dangerous and that they might kidnap and behead me, like the boy on tv; that I can't rest easy around people I know well, including my father, because they could sexual molest me, like those kids in the paper; that I better not walk close to any cars or bushes, because someone could be lurking there to grab me; that I better not let anyone see me through a window, because someone would break into the house and rape and murder me, like that girl on the news; that when I got older and got a driver's license, I had better keep an eye on the people behind me, lest they run me off the road and rape and murder me, like the girl on the news. And so on.
"You'll gain so much weight once you're pregnant! Kids will ruin your body!"
More like kids will have you running around LOSING WEIGHT since they're so active most of the time. There's actually a whole new set of activities you get to do as a mother like take your children to the zoo, the park or to a museum and spending the day there with them.
Yes, you do gain weight while you are pregnant, but any gain over 40lbs is not recommended for any person while pregnant. Most of it does come off quickly with proper diet post pregnancy however, meaning less processed food and more healthy fresh stuff. Losing weight is about 10% exercise 90% diet
Stretch marks killed my belly and breasts. Breastfeeding didn't do any good for my breasts. I lost most of the weight but still trying to tone the hips down.
Well it's not like you're not beautiful or pretty just because you have stretch marks. I have them covering a large part of my inner thighs and breasts but that doesn't stop my boyfriend from saying I'm sexy. Breasts are Breasts, just because there's a pattern or color to them doesn't mean they're "ruined".
I've known some people to use pregnancy as an excuse to eat whenever and whatever they want. Post pregnancy they say "I don't know why all the pregnancy weight didn't come off!", even if they start to eat somewhat normally afterwards.
beanzo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:47:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to (store name) for (5 items or less at said store). Wanna come? I'll treat you to lunch!
This has been told to me dozens of times and I no longer fall for it unless my day is a completely blank slate and I'm feeling guilty about not seeing my mother for a while. 5 items in 1 store turns into 20 items in 5 stores in a good day. Amount of time spent out usually directly correlates with quality of food at least, and I do love me some Texas Roadhouse
"Everything is fine" or "I'm fine" or "I have the best job in the world".
There is a very strong shame pressure on women to never admit that being a mother sucks a lot of the time because it's super difficult. There is this pressure to learn to love your noble suffering (which is actually really similar to the attitude of an abusive partner) while in reality, many mothers don't actually enjoy the day to day of it.
Jano606 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At the grocery store when I was a kid, "I'll be in the next aisle over."
I walk over and she's vanished. I check several more aisles and still nowhere to be found. I guess I have to go tell an employee I'm lost and to call my mom on the loudspeaker now. Fuck
That we don't have favorites. Everyone has a favorite something, and sometimes that something is one of your kids. As long as you're not obvious about it and you treat them the same, I don't see the issue.
My parents say. "We're leaving now, get your stuff and go ahead" Then they'll stand around for 10 minutes talking to the people we were visiting and get mad when we get mad that they made us wait.
Growing pains.. Those random weird pains you get throughout your body while growing up. My mom would always say I'm growing. Still can't explain them...
kazfiel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
arthritis?
genx_rp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I opened this thinking if the number one comment isn't "you are special" then I just don't get Reddit anymore. I guess I just don't get Reddit anymore....
kazfiel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right above you is "You can be anything you want to be."
I was definitely looking for that one. Had a classmate say that once, in class, to the teacher.
"My mother and other teacher both say I can be anything I want."
Teacher looked at him, smiled and said "Some people can, x and y can. You definitely can't."
One of the best responses ever. He was there because of some sort of error, was with us in elementary school as well. It was our first year in middle school, he was forced to go to a school with the lowest level within 3 months. We were at the highest level.
He never even realized those around him were beyond him, it was a bit sad.
ntm001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Mum would always lie about the time. She would come into my room and say "Get out of bed its 07:30!" I would then look at the clock and it would only be 07:05.
It used to really piss me off so I slept in even longer.
neolfex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always told me that I couldn't ride the shopping cart like a scooter because there was a boy who did that and it flipped over and trapped him under it.
My momma never allowed me to believe in Santa. She said "I'm not gonna let yall think someone else spending money on your gifts." Never really got any though..
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll be okay." I know you won't be, mom. You're stressed out and you do your best and I'm so proud of you for that. I wish you would just sit down and relax but you have mouths to feed and a family to take care of.
When she takes your money from all the red envelops that you received during Chinese new year and says: "I'm saving them for you so you don't spend it."
"We'll get it next time". At least dads have the decency to just straight up say no when I want a fucking tech deck. I still never built that skate park I wanted to. But love you, Mom <3
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Watching too much TV will make your eyes square.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mother knows best
PangKun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you're at the till in a shop and she goes to grab "1 thing" and be right back. Then u wait at the till awkwardly with no money as she comes with another basket and squeezes through the line that built up.
Joe1972 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your dad was my first and only love...not according to reddit mom, not according to reddit
I'm super late but "Hide it we can come back for it later". My Mon would always tell me this when I'd want a toy from the store. I'd usually just forget about it lol
Statement: "I'll be there at 9:00."
Reality: "I'll be at your house waking you up at 7:15."
Statement: "I'll be ready to leave at 9:00."
Reality: "I'll be ready to leave at 10:05."
Statement: "It'll take me 5 minutes."
Reality: "Hope you brought a book with you when you decided to wait in the car. You'll finish it entirely."
Statement: "Oh shoot, I forgot something, I'll be right back."
Reality: "I'm now going to leave you to stand here awkwardly for 5-10 minutes while the cashier and everybody in line waits for me to get back with the smallest bottle of generic mustard you've ever seen. It was not necessary at all by the way."
Statement: "I'll send a text when I get back, since I know you worry about me driving at night!"
Reality: "I'll remember to send a text roughly 3-4 days from when I was supposed to send the text."
Statement: "This shouldn't take too long."
Reality: 6 weekends later, where each Saturday consists of a 16 hour day with no breaks for meals. "Well that took longer than expected, wow!" No shit.
shemp33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll see..."
Kid: No, Mom. We're hip to that line. That is just a dismissive non-confrontational NO, isn't it.
Moments before the Doctor gives you a shot of something. Or when you go to the Dentist. Or when she pulls a loose tooth. Or "Insert your own answer here."
My mom told me that if I pick up kittens too much they get sore eyes. Tried googling it a few years ago and found nothing. Now I feel my entire life is a lie
My first thought was, "You're perfect just the way you are." Then I realized that a kid not believing what they heard doesn't mean the parent didn't believe what they said.
I have great parents. JB
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: "Dinner's ready!"
Me: Goes downstairs, see's dinners not ready, "how much longer?"
Mom: "10 minutes. But while you're here, can you set the table?"
Valdiir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Alright, time to go!" Then proceeds to spend 30 minutes+ talking to mom of the friend.
"If you just tell the truth, you'll get in less trouble than if you lie." Granted, it works well in situations where lying would be obvious, or when you're a little kid (broken lamp, stupid shit, etc).
Also, "you can talk to me about anything and i won't get mad".
Thought she'd have a stroke when I came out. As a fucking democrat.
i love you mom, but you're contradictory as fuck.
My son is at that age where hes questioning everything. Recently he realized the concept of death. So he's been asking a lot about it. He asked ," What if I die?" And I had this moment of hmm I strongly believe in if a child asks a question they should get an honest answer, but he's only five. So I said, "I promise I won't let that happen." I knew i was lying. I can control that but I promise that I would do anything in the world to try to keep that promise. I feel sad just writing this.
"I'm not trying to critique you, butโฆ"
Frequently said before a long tirade about how I need to change everything I've ever done and rethink my entire life.
This happened this morning literally en route to the hospital after I called her to come get me because I was bleeding heavily and didn't trust myself to drive without passing out. Thanks, mom.
Something dirty was said on TV that I didn't understand as a kid, and whenever I asked my mom what they mean't her response was always "I don't know dear"
mrwatts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It'll be alright"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My son called me out on this one today. "In a little bit". It's never in a little bit. His response was "you always say that but take forevvvverrrr". He's four.
Probably not common, but, when my siblings and I were young, we would pass a McDonalds and ask our Mom if we could stop. She would say "Hmm, what day is it?"
"Wednesday!"
Then she'd say "Ohhhh, shucks. McDonalds is closed on Wednesdays!" and just keep driving. It wasn't until I was much older I figured out that McDonald's was open 7 days a week. In hind sight, i'm glad she didn't take us to McDonalds.
"I'm going to bed, goodnight!" I usually take this to mean I'll see you 5-6 more times when you come out of your room because you forgot to do something.
My mum told me that when I lied I got a black line down my tongue. I've never put much thought into it, but I am now wondering if this is a common statement among mothers?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say the sense of entitlement that parents instill in middle-class children. I.e., saying "you're so smart!" as praise for a success, rather than "you really worked hard and achieved that!"
Yeah, I read some study saying you shouldn't be linking intelligence to good work, since it could make your child afraid of failing and scared of looking dumb. Failing is natural and doesn't mean you're stupid.
It is much better to emphasize that they did a good job, and to praise them when they really worked for something.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
what happened to wordcloud bot, would be great for thid question
My mom told me and my brothers that the crust was the healthiest part of bread. So we need to eat it. Then when I got older, it hit me. It's the same as the rest of the bread, just more burnt.
"Maybe"
No you little punk, it's not gonna happen! But mommy does not wanna hear you have a fit because I said no so I'm gonna just say maybe to shut your pie hole.
"I will never let anything bad happen to you"
"I will never leave you"
"You are the best son/daughter anyone could have"
"You can be anything you want"
The list goes on.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe another time" when we barraged her about buying treats and shit. Another time is a thing that doesnt exist and never comes. If you hear mom say that, either run away and get a new mom or steal it.
I'm not actually calling Santa, Minnie Mouse, or Dory because you won't each your vegetables. My screen in black, and I'm having an imaginary conversation while people at the restaurant think I'm batshit crazy.
Also, you ate your fucking vegetables so score for mommy.
Having a very opinionated 3 year old tests me more than anything. I just want you to be healthy!
Reading these has me deep in my mom guilt hahaha...us mothers have legit reasons for saying this stuff! You'll get older, have kids, they'll make you want to drink in a closet with a straw, and you'll look at your mom with such a deep appreciation for every time she wanted to let wolves raise you but then decided against it. Hahah all in jest..but go really, go bug your dad.
"I'll get you Heelys in the summer, you can't use them in the winter." 6 months later. "It's going to be winter soon. Maybe you'll get Heelys for Christmas"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If the wind changes, your face will stay like that"
I've read several places that a ton of women regret having kids and often feel to ashamed to actually admit this, which sucks for everyone because everyone would be better off if they had a more realistic situation of what raising a child can be like (for the record, men feel this way, but I feel like it's less taboo for them to say).
Yeah you didn't love me so much after dad assaulted me and when I called the cops you went, "If dad goes to jail then you don't get to come back to my house."
You didn't love me so much when I started dating a guy you didn't like, and you and my entire family convinced him to break up with me. Here I was thinking everything was fine.
You didn't love me so much when my brother's twattoy was stealing my stuff and you shrugged and said there was nothing you could do about it.
You didn't love me so much when just last night I attempted mermaid make up and thought it actually came out pretty good, and you and dad both just said it's stupid.
When I was younger I would always ask for things when I went shopping with my mom. The response was ways, "We can get it next time." Took me a few years to learn that she really meant "No."
Now that me and my siblings are out of the house, the most common lie my mom tells us is the time an event is starting when we're all getting together. "Be over at 4:00 for Thanksgiving", and without fail the rest of the family doesn't show up until 4:45 or 5. It got so bad that we all started showing up a half hour after my mom told us to come, which is probably what she expected and why she started this whole circus in the first place.
When I confront her about it she always just stone cold denies it. Fucking drives me bonkers.
"Your <insert pet name here> went to a wonderful place" when it dies.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Fido lives on a farm now."
Jagd3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Well if you can save up your own money for it then I'll let you buy it." That usually turned into the "well I didn't think you would actually save up for it. I really don't think it's a good idea so no you cant have it."
That the ice cream man was caught pissing in the ice cream. I suppose that could have been true but I think she was trying to get us not to bug her for ice cream.
"I don't have a favorite." I have a friend who had two kids by the time she was 20. 10 years later I asked her if she had a favorite, and after a few drinks and constant pestering she admitted all parents have a favorite, they just can NEVER admit it.
A have a mother friend who admitted to having a favorite while see was high.
And if I had to be honest, I'm probably the favorite too. To be as vague as possible...I was the least amount of grieve for my parents. Still am.
My mom would lie about places she didn't want me to go. "That arcade you want to go to, I heard someone got shot there," "You're going to eat where? Oh, that place is so dirty." "That's area of town is not a good neighborhood." On rare occasions she was actually right, the rest was all BS.
You can be anything you put your mind to... Um, you mean little Jimmy over there who's been shoving grilled cheese up his nose for the last 30 minutes? Sorry mom, not happening.
My 7 year old asked "Where's 98 PXY on this radio?" My response "Oh, Sorry, this radio doesn't get 98 PXY" (I had a new radio installed and my old son had developed a taste for awful top 40 music.) The scam worked for at least months.
pikxel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's only a 5 minute walk. In reality by minute she means mile.
jdmnash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am currently waiting at O'Hare airport for my mother who said we would fly in at the same time. I landed at 11:45. Turns out she doesn't land until 2. I could have flown in and landed 30 minutes after her but that's too long for her to wait.
Galfonz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Go wherever you needed to go. Call her 30 min after her flight landed. "Oh, I found out your plane got in late so I left". Make her get her own transportation. She's a grown up.
My mother told this one over and over: "If you don't behave we're going to sell you to the gypsies!"
No sale ever occurred.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always took us to get ice cream and claimed it was just a treat cause we've been "good". Then when we were finished somehow we ended up in the doctors office getting shots. To this day I never trust an ice cream run.
Galfonz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:41:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There was this one from my mother regarding the people bullying me: "They're just jealous of you." I actually said that to one of the bullies. You can imagine how well that one went over. Even today, I still kind of want to rub that bully's lips into her metal braces.
My mom never lied to me. At the time, I thought the reason was that she wasn't "maternal" enough, or maybe she was mean. I'm 32 now, and I'm glad she never lied.
Just one example, because I have many: I thought she was heartless when she said "You're going to faint in a second," that time she had to pour hydrogen peroxide on a severe laceration in my foot. She's supposed to be motherly! I wanted comfort! Her saying things like "You'll be fine, babby!" But no.
Then she caught me when I fainted. She'd warned me and braced herself at the same time.
"I don't know" when asked what she wants to do (mainly choice of restaurant or takeaway)
And then "Maybe not" to every suggestion that isn't the specific thing she wants to do
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always had the dream of moving to my grandpas farm when I was older, living and working there. My mom promised me growing up that some day it would pass on to us kids. She started pressuring my grandma to sell our piece 3 months after he passed, for herself..
On a trip when I was about 6, I kept asking my mom who was driving to "look at that" and "did you see that?". Finally, she snapped, "balrogwarrior, I don't have eyes in the back of my head!"
My mother used to tell me before Christmas to take the phone and without dialing say what presents do i want. She told me that Santa is listening and writing down all of my wishes.
That's your uncle Leroy who stayed over last night...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe not a common lie, but my mom told me and my brother a pretty hilarious one.
When we were kids (maybe 9 and 12) we got two guinea pigs. We thought we would like having them, but after a few months of having to clean the shit out of their cage every day, we grew tired of them. We never actually asked our mom to give them away or anything, but nonetheless...
We come home from school one day and the pigs are gone and so is the cage. My mom explains that she was at the pet store and struck up a conversation with a woman who offered to take them. My mom knew we didn't want them anymore, so she let the lady have them.
As far as I knew, this was the truth. Until about 15 years later (I kid you not), she reveals that it was all a lie. She took the guinea pigs to a nearby field, dropped them off in the bushes, and tossed the cages in the trash.
Negative on the sjw part. I work in a machine shop, cut grass for side $, fix whatever I can on the house and cars, and am a pretty regular guy. I just don't mind cooking, and when I do cook I do it all the way.
When I was really young I burnt myself on something hot. I think I touched the grill. From then on if my parents didn't want me to touch something they would just say "don't touch that. It's hot!" Incidentally my first word was hot.
Apparently my mom would move the clocks ahead so that she could convince me it was my bedtime an hour early. I don't think this is common among mothers, but for her it was.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mothers notorious for saying food is still good. "Hey mom is this lunchmeat still good? Oh yeah I just got it the other day." Proceed to make sandwich and take a bite out of slimy bad lunchmeat. Never again have I fully trusted my mother. I make her take a bite of things I ever question
You are enough
Edit - Some people need a lot of work LOL
Be yourself - Some people should be themselves, Some people shouldn't, some people should avoid people who don't like different [ even if it's not bad] LOL
You are the smartest - Obviously most people aren't and there is nothing wrong with that
When I was about 5 my mother told me my pet bunny went to the bunny farm because "that's just what bunnies do after a certain age"... And I actually believed her.... For a long time.
Told to teenage boys: "If you shave your beard it'll grow back thicker!"
No, shaving does not make hair grow back faster or thicker. Your mom just didn't want you looking like Patches O'Houlihan so she kept telling you this until you were old enough to grow a decent looking beard.
I bet it's pretty common for some moms to do but my mom told me that every time the ice cream man had his music playing he was out of ice cream. Jokes on you mom. I'm lactose intolerant.
" you are the most beautiful or hansdesome girl/boy in the world!" I have often seen this said by mothers to their kids. It makes me wonder, are their mother's that secretly find their kids obviously unattractiv ?
Everything happens for a reason. Fucking hate when girls say this shit to me and I remember my mom saying it to me when I was a kid so I'm assuming that's where the get it. Go hang out in an oncology ward for a few days and tell me if you believe that. Sorry to be bleak but life just doesn't work that way.
Haha...and yet I have already whipped that line out with my 7 yr old. Maybe if you're smart enough to preface it with: "I thought about lying to you, but since you said you only get mad about the lies, here goes...".
We had our 5 and 9 yr olds convinced thier names were something other than thier real names. I can't put them here, but ones middle name was "alexanderschlemenko" and the others middle name was "melvinmanhoff" they believed it for about 8 months.
Desmeos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to tell me I had to always eat my vegetables first at meals because they digest the fastest and if I ate other stuff first the vegetables would rot in my stomach.
To this day I always finish every vegetable on my plate before touching anything else out of habit. I never really considered what my mom said to be a lie until I mentioned it to a friend when I was 25. I guess it is an OK habit to have, even if it is scientifically inaccurate.
"I won't buy any more cigarettes, I'm just finishing this carton." I've been on this same carton for 4 months. I'll buy a couple packs when I go inside to pay for gas (because for some reason the pay at the pump feature doesn't work at this gas station, weird) and stick them in my boobs before going to the car. I am glad they care, but ts stressful times right now, and I can't stop revisiting my favorite old monkey.
My 7 yr old daughter thinks, and tells people I am 10 years older than I am.
When my daughter would ask me how old I was, I would always tell her what ever random number would pop into my head whether it be 14 or 72. It was really just because it was I was amused at how easily she would accept any answer. This started around 3 years old.. Whenever she started asking those types of questions. At my last birthday (12/2015), 37 must have stuck in her head because she 'knew' I was turning 38. Now she openly tells people I am 38, if the topic comes up in conversation. When I've heard someone try and correct her by saying I am 28, she simply replies with, "No, she just tells people that."
I can tell if you're lying by looking in your eyes.
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If she's got any psychology training she might know people tend to look up and right when remembering and up and to the left when making shit up. (left vs right might be switched I don't remember but right feels right lol )
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Has any parent ever actually been more than a half hour from the house and even considered turning back around? Granted I shut my fucking mouth when they said that.
Mine did. I was going to a Karate tournament and I was acting like a little shit. Called their bluff because I -knew- they wouldn't turn back. We got to the parking lot and I was still acting up. We parked, my dad turned around and reminded me that he warned me that we'd turn back, and he pulled right back out of the parking spot and went straight home, which was almost an hour away.
Learned my lesson that day.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Feeling chilled might make us more vulnerable if we already have a virus in our system.
Low temperatures can cause blood vessels to constrict, allowing fewer healthy white blood cells through your blood stream, which in turn can allow your virus to run wild. So skip the coat at your own risk. MUM
ignezio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well move out of this car next mont
I don't have money for food go bed (used money for drugs)
No one likes us (everyone loved me fuck my mom
No one will help us (she always used the money for drugs)
I not dying (she was dying)
Jade_GL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Eat these potatoes. They're from back home!"
I was a very picky eater when I was 5 when we moved over seas to Terceira in the Azores, from Maine. My mother, to get me to eat potatoes, would tell me they were imported from back home in Maine. I gobbled them up after that.
Later, when I was older, she told me they were probably from England or Ireland or somewhere else in Europe.
One pancake day me and my brothers were begging my mum to make pancakes for tea, after an hour of saying no she finally caved, only for us to come down to a plate full omelettes... As if we weren't gonna tell the difference.
Not specifically mothers (so please mods, feel free to remove this because irrelevant), but when I read this thread's title I remembered this one thing.
I had to get a wisdom tooth removed because it would inflame every now and then. Went to an oral surgeon, got an appointment for removal a couple days later. I was super fucking scared about it, I had never had any sort of surgery or anesthesia and I generally hate dentists. Plus I was in PAIN because the fucking tooth was super inflamed despite the antibiotics the doc gave me.
Naturally I told everyone in my immediate environment how freaking scared I was. Every. Single. Person said something along the lines of "it probably won't be a walk in the park, but it won't be half as bad as you imagine", effectively reducing my anxiety.
On the day of the appointment I was still scared but not as much as before. They gave me like a trillion injections until I was sufficiently numb, and what followed was literal fucking hell. It was HELL. I cried and screamed and whimpered and sobbed like a baby while they cut open my jaw (the shit tooth hadn't even cut through the flesh yet, plus it was all weirded down into the bone), broke the tooth into 4 pieces and yanked them out violently over what felt like eternity but in reality took probably 20 mins.
When I told the people who had previously uttered soothing words about my visit to the Spanish Inquisition, they all went "you were so scared, we didn't want to make it worse". What??? They had all said the exact same thing, now twice. Not only immediate family, but close friends, too. I felt betrayed. I wish someone had told me how bad it's gonna be, then I could have been surprised by professional staff dealing with me being a crybaby instead of going in there all sunshine and experiencing actual fucking torture.
/rant
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus fuck. What is with all these people having their wisdom teeth out while STILL FUCKING AWAKE? Now, my anxiety over the dentist is much more over the top then the average scared-of-the-dentist person but when I had mine out at 18 they put me under. Completely. Last thing I remember is 4 people holding me down while someone tries to stab me with an IV and then I'm sitting in the car with my sweatshirt/seatbelt on and groggy as hell.
Something my mother would always tell me is that she loves me no matter what. But let's face it, in another life if I wasn't born her son then she wouldn't even know who I was, let alone care about me
For my little brother, it was that my mom had eyes in the back of her head (so she saw anything he did). We used to have one of those massive vans that had the screened tiny windows, one screen was broken and you could stick your hand through it. My mom had to keep telling my brother to stop doing that; one day he was doing it and she saw it in the side mirror, and yelled at him for doing it. He noticed she never looked back, so he said, "You really do have eyes in the back of your head". After that, he didn't do it and he was also very curious how she washed her hair without it hurting her eyes.
"I'm going to ask you a question that I already know the answer to, and if you lie to me your punishment will be double." I would then proceed to give up everything.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Other than telling me I'm handsome and smart and all that, she used to take money from my mini safe I got for having a kids account at a bank or something when I was little and put IOU notes there. She made them out to be really cool and cute by drawing shapes and smiley faces on them.
... I don't think she ever paid up once. I think she resented having to spend money on me at all and tried to get dad to do most of it.
"they cleaned the whole house without me asking them!" ... if you don't count the thousand times I asked or all the "you're doing it or you're in some shit" faces I had to give.
When we were on holiday and I was young my parents and brothers used to tell me that the bags of candy floss the street vendors sold were actually spare stuffing for teddybears, because I would constantly be stopping and asking for some...
I suppose they saved me some dental bills in the long run though
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't eat more than one vitamin a day or you'll have too much iron in you and you'll be struck by lightning"
Cski54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let's all talk shit on MOMS!!!!!!
Nnivv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me when I was a kid that if I ate the crust of the bread I would get curly hair...joke was on her because I made he cut the crust off after that.
Me: Mom where is the dog going?
Mom: he's going to a farm. He will be a great guard dog there.
Context: he was amazing to me but very aggressive towards others and they had to give him away to the SPCA. They tell me now as an adult they knew he wouldn't pass the aggression test needed to be adopted. So basically it was a death sentence, and no I will never forget this lie.
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ouch....my mom had to put her/our dog down when he was still young for cat chasing because it was only going to escalate to chicken killing and it happened when the dog's father came by(proven chicken killer); neither one of them paid any mind to the 8 young kids they dashed through. But we knew EXACTLY what was going to happen to that dog and why it had to happen.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was alllways told this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think that was more of an urban legend that people believed. We were all told that by our parents and they were told by theirs - I don't think it was an intentional lie.
jaydd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid in Portugal we were all told that we had to wait 3 hours. And i believe that is still the saying.
I went back for holidays this year and I could hear the very familiar plea from kids to their parents: "Has it been 3 hours yet?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love all my children the same.
_orbus_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm telling your dad when he gets back!"
Bitch, don't you lie to me! You aint gonna tell him shit unless I've really fucked up! Stop trying to scare me with the threat of Dad-justice. Discipline me yourself, you coward!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate that. It takes away the mom's authority and then the kid just stops listening to her because he/she knows mom isn't' going to do shit.
raq0916 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Ive been trying to wake you up for the past hour! Cmon youre gonna be late for school". Its obvious she just missed her alarm and blamed me
Razzal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have a favorite child. I love you all the same
I believed my mom had "eyes in the back of her head" until I was like 8 or 9.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:25:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the literal sense, no, but we do have a sense that sort of triggers our gut feeling that you're up to no good. And we know you, so we can predict what you might do if left alone with something messy or semi-dangerous.
Mom: Santa Klaus is going to come down the chimney and bring you gifts.
Me: But we don't have a chimney.
Mom: Uhh we'll just let him in the door.
Me thinking to myself: Whatever...the shit you got me better be good God Dammit.
Not so much a lie as defending you from the truth:"It doesn't matter baby. You do as you like." And then your mother is up for some kind of hell for several hours just because of some dumb shit you wanted to happen and probably lost interest in way before her hell is over.
Your bunny rabbit ran away... I swear i fed it and gave it water while you were at camp. In no way did it die of heat stroke from lack of water and food while you left it in my possession... just ask your sister...
Well, one of those is not a lie. It sure as fuck can hurt and, according to my female friends and my own experience, it usually does. It varies though. Some had to try several times before it didn't hurt too much to continue.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is from a mother to another to-be mother. When the baby is born give a little press on cheeks to make a dimple.. I have no idea whether it is related but decided to keep mum...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love all my children equally."
Bullshit. If you have multiple kids, we all know that at least one is an annoying little shit stain you wish you could have crammed back up your vagina.
That something you did or said didn't upset her. I don't know how much I made suffer to my mother with just me being me, behaving like a hikikomori and refusing to talk. My brother told me a couple of times that I made her cry and she did it in her room, to not let anyone know it. Made me feel bad about myself, because the very next day she talked to me like nothing happened and asked me how I was feeling. I didn't ask how she was feeling all along.
I tell this to myself from time to time now. It has ended up with some awesome and terrible decisions in turn. Cuttlefish? no thanks. Eel? Hell yeah. eggplant-nope. fresh strawberry basil ice desert? Holy hell yes. smoked oysters and cream cheese not so much with the cheese. One of the few ways I can force myself to try new things :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:37:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom likes to go on about she didn't smoke weed. But she grew up in the 70's in Venice Beach,CA.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your visit to the dentist won't hurt at all
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Broooooo. My mom took me to the dentist one late afternoon. Talking bout I'm just getting a cavity filled. But the dentist tells her that I am going to need my wisdom teeth taken out soon. So like any mother she decided right then and there would be the best time to do said procedure. :( worst part was he didn't numb my top left gums all the way and he started pulling when it wasn't numb. That pain :(
Jesus fuck. I had a special appt where they actually knocked me out to do it....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I know what Im doing"
gopms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom once told me that I was prettier than Cindy Crawford. She said it with a straight face and I think actually believed it! I think it goes without saying that I was not prettier than Cindy Crawford (or anyone else since I was a pimply faced 13 year old at the time).
After the movie Frozen came out and that damn song 'Let it go' was heard on repeat in every parents house, my friend lied and told her kids that cars only play "grown-ups CDs". Then to show them she put their CD in upside down so it would say 'error'. "See? Told you kids CDs don't work!" Too bad you can't do that with cassettes, I nearly drove my mother insane with my 'Reading Rainbow' cassette growing up.
My mom promised to buy us fireworks on the Fourth of July. Kept putting it off, then around 9:00 pm says "we're not getting fireworks, I'm scared of them." I've never been so disappointed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I brought you into this world, and I can bring you out of it."
When I was little kid 3 or 4 years old growing up in the 70's I had a favorite stuffed panda bear named Joe, I took Joe with me wherever I went. After the course of the year Joe would get tattered, and filthy even after baths. Around a week before Christmas, Joe would disappear. My mom told me he went to The North Pole to visit Santa and ask for a new coat for Xmas. Christmas day would come and Joe would be hanging out under the tree with a new coat. Turns out my mom saw how attached I was to this bear, and found a toy store that had 10 of them and bought them out. Every year I got a new panda bear and being a little kid I never figured it out until I was in my early teens.
That's awesome XD Most of the time I find something that I love/fits perfectly I don't realize I should go back and buy 4 more until they no longer sell it/I need a replacement.
"That's your uncle Bob."
Seven years later child figures out "uncle Bob" is really daddy who didn't stick around long enough for him/her to figure it out sooner. :)
My mom kept me from knowing what an ice cream truck was throughout my childhood. "Oh look, it's the music truck!" she'd say. I just thought the nice old man was doing a public service.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Lobster tastes bad. Don't order it."
- my mom
Because she didn't want me to order the most expensive dish so I never got to taste lobster until I was old enough to pay for it myself and discovered she was cheap and lobster is amazing.
If you make your bed every day for a month, and I will even document it with this Little Mermaid calendar with matching Little Mermaid stickers for every day that you make it, then I will reward you by taking you to Chuckie Cheese.
JuntaEx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
''That's nice, dear."
So I'm telling you a gorilla came to our school and beat up the teachers and also climbed up onto the roof and that's all you have to say? Fuckin bullshit tbqh fam
My mum told me that children were banned from Starbucks so she couldn't take me there with her friends. I was amazed that she "snuck me in" when I was six years old.
" don't take candy from strangers". Bullshit, best candy I ever had was from a random conversion van, woke up 3 days late on the side of the road with glue up my ass.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sweetheart, you don't need any more pizza"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Korean mom says all Korean food is good for you. It can be deep fried, covered in oil, made with processed flour or rice, but it is still good for me.
"A man comes down the chimney and gives you presents once a year if you've been good" or any other similar story about mysterious and benevolent strangers
menamo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When in a public place with security guards I always see parents telling they're toddler they should behave or the police (security guard) will take them to jail.
Another Is don't swallow watermelon seeds or a watermelon will grow in your stomach.
Oh and the don't swallow gum because it take years to digest in your stomach.
โWeโre almost there!โ amidst a painfully long road trip.
โIf you drink your milk, youโll grow big and tall!โ
โNo, I donโt know where your art project went.โ
โNo, I donโt think youโre getting a shot at the doctorโs today.โ
jaslr83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think this is common at all but it's funny so I'll share t anyway.
A friend of mine told me his mom would always tell him that on certain days the park "costed money so they couldn't go today"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was younger, I had a habit of sleeping in the bath (with water in of course)
Well obviously that scared my mother...
" wes, if you fall a sleep in the bath...you will wakeup somewhere else "
Scared the shit out of me...didn't do it again...I'm 32 now...
Hawx220 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Telling you that 'Mother know best' - at a young age you think you know best but they rob you of fun and enjoyment, admittedly for the greater good sometimes but still pretty annoying lie to be bought up on.
TR4VlS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're special"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend's mom used to tell her and her siblings that things in the store weren't for sale but were only teaser displays when she didn't want to buy it for them
Was told I had a heart problem my whole life. Was just anxiety, but instead of getting me therapy as a child to learn to cope and handle things I loved in fear that if die. Fear of death then caused anxiety (what I thought was heart problems) and I'm embarrassed how many times my friend or I had to call 911 because we all thought I was dying or mid fibrillation. Fucking A. Recently went off on parents about this because I only recently found out (in my late 20's after going to another cardiologist on my own).
Truth: My nipples are bleeding, your latch needs work, I'm so touched out I could scream and even though you're adorable you're also a total milk vampire. I could quit but formula is expensive and you were a preemie so I know my milk is best. I want to hide when my letdown wrecks another shirt. At least it isn't forever. And all the militant pro breastfeeding mothers must have super boobs because this blows.
Laskok0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In Bruges there's a prison that's located right next to the highway. Every time we drove by that prison my mom told me that it was a school for very naughty children so they would learn to be good boys.
Any time I was starting to missbehave she told me she was gonne call the naughty children school to ask if I could join go there instead of my normal school.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my opinion the most common lie is that 'x' will happen if they don't do 'x'. Most parents just want to complete a task and will say whatever it takes to get it done. The rest is history.
Whenever I asked to do something / go anywhere with friends as a child, I was met with "I don't care," which I quickly figured out to mean "I do fucking care, that was a test, and you failed."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My son: "My dad doesn't see me anymore because he doesn't care about me."
Me: "He cares about you, he loves you the best he can. He just lives really really far away and works a really hard job that takes a long time." [He lives 60 miles away and works as a UPS warehouse clerk].
That conversation happened at 6. He's almost 10 now. Doesn't ask about him much.
Your room is so messy! It looks like a bomb has hit it! (My mum once said this to me, a sock and a shirt were on my floor the rest of my room was dusted, hoovered and neat.
my parents told me my dog got ran over by a car at the local store, the dog had bit me (I was around ~7), and when we went to the same store to get food I asked my parents why there were no blood traces on the road (it had happened the same day) and they just told me that the dog was shot. To this day I dont know if he is dead or alive, so I have to assume he is both (psychological humor). I'm almost 17 now
My brother used to hate the grocery store so much that'd he'd start sobbing when he heard the name of it. Not even throwing a fit, just crying like his puppy just died. My mom would always tell him we were going to the pet store since it was in the same parking lot
I didn't know he was sleeping around at the time or I wouldn't have had a child with him. I don't hate men at all. On the flip-side, you seem to have some anger issues.
Lol we aren't fancy and IM definitely not fancy. We have 6 people in our house. And the typical drink is iced tea. Which requires getting 4-6 cups out and hand filling the ice. Then pouring from the pitcher. For a kid, that plus putting out plates can take a few mins. Sometimes I do it just to make sure they are doing something to pitch in. Lol
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Early Saturday Morning
Mom: "Hey want to go shopping? It will be fun and we get to bond!"
Me: "Sure Mom!"
6 hours later, lost my mom roughly 10 times while she aimlessly browses through aisles like I don't exist and pinched 100 times for "not paying attention" only to get left at the mall.
0 toys, 0 video games, 0 movies, 0 light up sneakers, 0 fun
1 new outfit for church...THAT WE DON'T GO TO!
Arie1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When we get sick, she'd say, "Drink this medicine, it tastes good, like candy. See it's orange flavored." I don't of course have a grudge on mom for saying those things, she only wants us to get better, but I wish she had just admitted how bitter and distasteful those were.
You'll get square eyes watching too much tv/ too close to the tv
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every time itโs new years in Asian countries (I'm from South Korea), we get little bags/pouches of money. My mom and all of my other friends' moms said that they would keep it safe for us just like a bank, and that she would give it back to me later. I NEVER GOT ANYTHING BACKK
palodox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Assuming there is a correct religion would still mean that most of the mothers tell their children various different religious lies which can and often will deeply influence their lives and behaviors.
Zanraii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are handsome"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Mommies love all their kids equally."
No. Evolution makes you desperate to preserve your gene pool. You'd die for any one of us. But bullshit you love us all the same. I got kids. I know you have a favorite.
In response to "Are we there yet?" We always got told "It's just around the next corner."
When we inevitably argued because we were still travelling, we got "That wasn't a corner, it was a bend/curve/the wrong angle/the sheep were the wrong side of the road so it didn't count/a corner going the wrong way etc".
pAraxE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Xanza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom always told me that if you lie and stick out your tongue, it would be purple. Obviously when she asked me and my two brothers a question to find out who did whatever ridiculously heinous thing we happened to do that day the one who was guilty would be hesitant to stick out their tongue. It was ingenious, but being the deceitful little scamps we were, we wised up fairly quickly. No matter what we did--none of us show our tongues, or all of us show our tongues without hesitation--she always knew who did what.
That woman was a fucking psychic tyrant. Never underestimate a Mom.
Our local grocery store had these metal access panels on the floor and one time I kept jumping on it and making a racket. My mom was annoyed and said that's where the "bad children" are put for misbehaving. I guess it worked because I avoided walking on those panels for years afterwards.
Shocked at how many of these I use on my son, more shocked that all you little monsters are on to us.
I've told my son, I only need to pick up three things. A shopping cart later. Told him it was almost 7:30 when it was like 10 minutes after 7. Always give him the best piece, only piece, or last piece of whatever food we have that he likes (after his dad though, if his dad is home, etc.) Have told him dinner is ready 15 minutes before it actually is. The more I read, the more I'm guilty of!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if it's common but a thing my mom used to tell my sister and I was that if we lied our tongues would turn black. Every time she thought we were lying she'd tell us to stick out our tongues and if we refused she knew we were lying.
axxxle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never tried cigarettes
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you crack your knuckles, they'll hurt when you're older"
The guinea pigs got picked up in a limo and went to Guinea Pigville where they play with other guinea pigs and have a carnival every single day. They just smelled bad and I gave them away. I should add that they were given to them, I didn't buy them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can't dress like that (skanky) I never did!"
I even have a few family members who do this, hell I even agree with it.
But I know all of them were prego really young, it wasn't planned, and they weren't married. So, it's a total lie.. But, I see where it needs to be done as I wouldn't want my daughter being a skanky or even dressing like one.. Regardless of how my wife was when she was younger.
I don't have a wife or kids, I'm just saying where I feel like I'd be on the subject if I did.
curly_k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom- "Will you go grab (purse/bag/groceries) out of the car?"
Me- ".....uhhhh (stalling cause can't say no)"
Mom- "I'll time ya!"
Me-promptly runs out side to get quickest time. Plops the purse down. "How fast!?!"
Mom-replies with random number of seconds.
HMFOG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, there's no more (insert delicious treat here) left!
::Waiting until kids go to bed to eat delicious treat of which there remains copious amounts.::
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want to be.
RNZack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When one of our pets died. My mom would always say "they moved to the farm"
I always hoped one day to visit the farm. wasn't until I was older I realized they were actually all dead.
"It may taste bad, but that just means it's good for you". No, it means you're a horrible cook and are making us this slop because you're don't want the food to get wasted.
I'm sorry mom, but "Help" implies YOU'LL FUCKING DO SOME OF THE WORK TOO. I don't give a shit about the flower beds, you do. I'm willing to help, but I'm not willing to do all of it myself!
dga1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you are already 30 mint late from office...when i getup in hurry...after my taking bath she set the clock time as original time...Just to keep me punctual
Carrots are good for your eye sight. This was a lie Britain spread during WWII so Germany didn't figure out that Britain knew where they were at night. "We eat a lot of carrots in Britain, that's why we can see you at night." The fucked up thing is, this is a lie most mothers don't know is a lie. But it is.
I used to have one of those old Bop-Its. I loved the damn thing, and I played it every second of the day. And then it just disappeared. Looked all over. I cried. I got over it.
I think I was sixteen when I found the thing hidden in the shed. Never brought it up to my mom.
"What happened to my Back to the Beach vhs tape?" - me
"I don't know, you must have lost it just like you lose everything. You need to take care of your things!" - mom
I found my Back to the Beach vhs tape a few months later in my parents bedroom with their tapes - was soooo happy. Put it in the vcr and somehow Back to the Beach had transmogrified into Buttnicks 3.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I tell my kids that if they ever skip brushing their teeth, all of their will have fallen out by morning. I tell them if they don't floss, trolls will live in their teeth and eventually knock them out.
Thankfully my parents never pulled this stunt with me. But listening to other parents with young kids over the years the most common hoax I've witnessed is:
Child commits minor annoyance or does something that they might have been scolded for before.
Parent decides to announce, "Well we were going to do (thing you really enjoy), but with you acting like that we're just going to go straight home." When there was zero plan or notion or even time available to do said activity.
jace100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
That might just be mine, though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. When wasps or bees are involved, it's best to run as fast as you can in the opposite direction and scream as loud as possible. The combination of decibels and the draft of you running away confuses the wasp and it stings itself to death.
Child's thought process - No mother, you just destroyed any authority you had by using a bullshit reason to explain your bullshit rules, STOP LYING TO ME and tell me the truth.
Mother - "Are we Okay?"
Child's thought process - You wont trust me with the truth, Well then - I am never going to respect you the same amount ever again, or tell you the truth either
And we wonder why we have delinquent children who hate authority.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boy is such a good boy.
Nero_A ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I told our kids there was a music truck that drove down the street playing a little tune to make everybody feel happier....because we didn't want to get hounded for ice cream every time the kids heard that sound.
Uhurus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if this is common, or my mom is just awesome: "(We/they/store) (are/is) out of (thing)," followed by, "lol jk surprise!" Both of my parents do this every once in a while, and it's great. Here's an example that happened two days ago:
My parents had to go run some errands, and I had recently found out that our local Target carried Cards Against Humanity. Like ~20 minutes later, I get this picture from my parents. I'm like, "alright, they'll get more later," and I go about the rest of my day. A while after my parents get home, my mom asks me to get my laundry basket and put my laundry away (because she's awesome enough to fold my laundry for me when I forget). As I'm putting it away, I find this in my basket!
Mexican mother at family gathering. "Mapz, come over! We are about to leave." Mother proceeds to talk for 30 minutes to an hour to family "saying their goodbyes". If I attempt to move 1 meter she loses her shit and says "Don't go anywhere! We are about to leave." Every time.
"Maybe" - The biggest crock of shyt I've ever heard. There is "Yes" and "Maybe". Don't lie you clap havin jezebel. Just shut down my hopes and dreams rather than letting me think whatever I asked is going to happen.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jushak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my case it's either "I'm sure I told you about this" or "I'll call you later". I always feel like I'm the last person in the family to hear everything and she almost always forgets to call back.
Of course my mother's excuse when I was a kid was that "I told you but you didn't listen!" Often with claims that I wasn't paying attention because I was playing a game or some such.
Now that I've lived on my own for a decade that excuse no longer works. I still hear about everything last. She can't blame it on lack of communication either, since we talk over a phone pretty regularly.
"I don't have a favorite." Pssht. Please. All parents have a favorite. Now, only the crappy ones intentionally make it obvious, but all parents have a child they like a little more than their other ones. (They may love all the children equally, but, since they're human, they don't like them all equally.)
That is the arch-lie told by every mother to every toddler ever. It's not true. It's never true. There's war and ecological desastet and financial crisises and to make it all worse people, who don't give a shit about neither and, to top it all off, people making profit from all of it. But it doesn't matter. For the toddler it doesn't matter. For the toddler all that matters is that its mama is there and that it cares.
Call them and say that you are a victim of identity fraud, then when they say, "O RLY?" ask them for all the evidence from your alleged signups. They need a signature or some other solid evidence that it was you, and they need to prove it.
You don't need to tell them who did it, but it does seem that your mother needs to learn about actions and consequences. Bit of a change of roles there, I know.
She used my social security number and information against my will to open 5 credit cards in my name and made herself an authorized user. I only found out because I checked my credit report.
I know those feels. I had to go through a bunch of shit when I came of age because my mom put lights and phones in my name when I was a kid. Took about 2 years to get it all sorted out by having to keep submitting records showing that I wasn't even of age when it happened.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I can't afford to buy you it"
THIS is the reason kids have no sense of economy. This is why they have no self esteem. Make a deal with your kid. Make them clean the car or whatever. Empower them. Don't just leave them to grow up thinking their potential is limited by what people can afford to give them for free.
It has to be Santa. I know its for the whole magical fun experience, I am doing the same with my own kids, but it's such a long winded lie lasting for a stupid amount of time.
"If you keep making that face, it'll stay that way forever!"
I used to pull my ears outward to make a silly face, but then push them back against my head when I was done.. justincase...
Basically just the response they give the first time you ask about where babies come from. Especially once a kid is old enough to understand that pregnancy eventually means baby. "But mom, how does the baby get out of the belly?" "Uhhhh... the belly button. Yep. It opens up. Totally."
It didn't take long before I was like "Yo, I don't believe you" and pestered my mom until she just went "OKAY FINE, IT'S YOUR VAGINA. BABIES COME OUT OF YOUR VAGINA."
My mom clearly didn't prepare for this conversation.
When I was super young and I just got my first dog my mom took me to Petsmart to get him food and toys and stuff. At the checkout they had a small fridge with sodas and juices and next to it they had candy and stuff for humans. When I asked my mom for a lemonade and a snickers, she said that those were special sodas and candies for dogs and I couldn't have any :(
My mom always told me that if I keep yelling that the cops would come and take me and brothers away and put us into foster care. Eventually, I got to a point where I would yell louder hoping that she was telling the truth.
whenever i ask if its ok if i eat something my moms pissed because im old enough to not ask her that shit and of course im allowed. When i dont ask shes pissed because i ate the food
kmurduh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I just need to stop in one place." Always turns into, "while we are out, i really need you to go with me to these other 5 places." 27 years old and she still manages to fool me with this line.
That she never ever had casual sex or ever took drugs.
She was my age once, I call bullsh*t. In fact, I know its lies because my dad has said what she like as a young adult. She partied, drank, smoked pot, went travelling, had several relationships. But she denies ALL of that part of her life.
Not even because I care, I just wish she would own up to it and not demonise it.
The skin of the apples is the best part! It's where all the vitamins are!
Needless to say, I hated the skins of apples and still do and sussed out pretty young that if one kind of fruit was good for you without the skin (like an orange, or a banana), then it was possible to get vitamins from other no-skin fruit sources. Did it matter? No, I was still nagged about eating something I fucking HATED.
Warpimp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your father just left for some smokes and scratchers. He'll be back."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait til your Father gets home!
Then she never told him anything, but you were well behaved until he did get home. Good one Mom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well not really told by a lot of mothers, but mine has told me "I fucking hate you, you're just like your good for nothing father"
She said that when she was going through a terrible time in her life, I hope that was just a lie.
"Your insert friend/family member just asked me if you always act like this and I was so embarrassed"
I witnessed my aunt use this on my cousin and I was like "no I didn't..."
ibkeepr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dad not Mom here but the hardest lie I had to tell my oldest son was when he was seven and just figured out that people die because his rabbit had just died.
Promise me you will never die Dad.
I promise I will never die.
How will you not die?
I will take the special medicine that stops people from dying.
I felt like such a lying asshole but I wasn't ready to tell him the truth.
Kildynn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was a really picky eater as a kid. My mom would say "fine then at least eat half of your meal" and then use her spoon to divide the food on my plate into what CLEARLY was 60/40, with the 60% closer to me.
My parents used to tell my sister and I that the fridge light and the car window were controlled by little men and if we kept playing with the devices, they'd get annoyed and stop working.
My dad would then disable the back automatic windows. My mum would tell us we had to apologise to the little man before "he" would work again...
"As a mother..." which turns into some statement related to how being a mother has suddenly made them an expert in some subject or makes what they are saying have more weight.
Freecz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want when you grow up! Even president!"
Yeah... as long as people start voting for overweight middle aged balding assistant managers from Subway with a belt size larger than their IQ and a "fuck it someone else will clean it up" attitude. Sure. For real, you're meant for begrudgingly fulfilling the orders of someone more successful than you, and complaining about it on Reddit. Buckle up for mediocrity.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
tmet2126 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"This man is your real father."
Is that a common thing or...?
EDIT: I should clarify. I was lead to believe G was my father for my entire life (he was an ok dad, a bit of a jerk but whatever) until I was 19 and then G couldn't stand the lie and told me. When I confronted my mother about it she told me it was supposed to be a secret that they kept forever.
nholles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm your mom !
noutaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To save on the water usage, my mom once told me that showering everyday makes you less smart. I was that kid that cried when he got 60% score on a small, primary school test. Believed it for way too long.
t_funk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the existence of the tooth fairy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm your mom."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
CORRECTION: that is a lie most commonly told by women in general, not just moms. However I do applaud you for answering both questions before hand. tip of the hat
Not the most common, but one my mother always told me: "Oh, the windows in the backseat (of the car) only open that much." I seriously spent a good part of my young childhood thinking that back-seat car windows could only be opened about 4 inches. Also, I just cued in to the fact that she was lying about this like a week ago when I said to my daughter, for the 25th time on a 10 minute car ride "No, we don't need the windows open any more than that!" Ohhhh!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
โYou can't have sex with someone you don't love. It will make you feel bad and lonely.โ
Multiple no-strings-attached sexcapades later... No. Not in the least. Lost my virginity to a hot graduate student and still pretty proud of little freshman undergraduate me.
JKrusas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This will be buried, but:
"Your friends aren't really your friends. Some day, they will turn on you. You can't trust anyone"
Stop that or that man (points at random) will tell you off
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything is gonna be ok
Blu3j4y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you touch yourself, God will see you."
I reckon I gave God quite the show every night. Like God doesn't have better things to do than watch a 13 year old beat the meat. Damn, God, you a pervert!
I scrolled pretty far down and didn't see this one: "you'll understand when you're older". I'm older now, mom. I still don't know what the heck is going on.
sfcjohn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That your son or daughter is the greatest person in the world once they die.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nurial ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not a common lie but there were a few occasions where my mom would try to feed me and my sister tylenol pm pills at night and she said that they were vitamins.
diz4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I care about my children's well-being." As she blows smoke in their face to get a reaction from them while a cartoon is on her phone that she is "allowing them to watch"
Tomorrow, I really messed with my oldest daughter with that one. She would say "you said we could". I would tell her , "I said we could tomorrow, it is not tomorrow, it is today". Took her awhile before she would use the proper day of the week.
arlliz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We're leaving in 5 minutes."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course I love your father.
mzkp54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't wear your sun hat you will get dehydrated and you will have to go to the hospital. I believed that until I was 13,bear in mind the "sun hat" was a 1970s style fishing hat
I will take your iPad away for the rest of your life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not my mom, but my dad "lost" my CD containing "baby got back". I was only about 8 or 9 at the time and had no idea what the lyrics meant. Now I can only imagine his horror at overhearing me listening to that haha.
azraq54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you don't stop playing with that, you'll go blind"
That's true in a legal sense perhaps, but I think under mom-law any willful and intentional mischaracterization of the truth counts as a lie. At least it did in my mom's jurisdiction.
5 Minutes later = If I'm not out in 5 minutes it means I actually found shit I wanted. If I'm not out in 15 minutes it means I met up with a friend from highschool. If I'm not out in 30 minutes you probably shouldn't have been waiting in the car so it's your fault for staying behind.
CR1986 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No, you can't have that, it's for the dog." What we used to say when our daughter was 2 or 3, worked like a charm. "No, you can't have that chocolate drizzled treat, it's dog food, sorry."
My grandpa used to tell me that ice-cream trucks only play their music when they've run out of ice-cream. My stupid friends would all run to the truck when it came down the street. Idiots.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: Help! I'm going to fall!
Me: rushing to kitchen
Mom: standing on ladder, absolutely fine Can you pass me that cloth on the counter?
Me: Mom! You nearly gave me a heart attack!
Mom: Well, I had to say something to get you here.
"I would never hold something like that over your head!"
dmbtke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stop or you'll go blind
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents told me and my little brother when were like 2-3 years old that the Ice Cream Man was a bad person and we would go outside and tell him to go away and that he was bad... poor guy must've cried himself to sleep every night.
They would've had to be the primary in that case. I remember having an elementary school savings with the bank but my parents were the primary holders. Still doesn't answer the question of what happened though, sorry you dealt with that.
You and your brother's birth was the happiest day of my life (15 years later, im sharing my birthday with my newborn sister because every party is her party, not mine)
My mom would always say "CeyowenCt, will you help me bring in the groceries?" which meant "go bring in the groceries while I do other stuff". I used to get so annoyed... I would have been 100% okay if she had just said" go bring in the groceries. "
Well.. my mum used to tell me that icecream men piss in the icecream to stop me from asking her for money. She would say "theres no toilet in the icecream van, where else would they go?!"
For my wife with our toddler its "Oh no! There's monsters in there!" to get him out of whatever she doesn't want him in. If he has his batman cape on he just goes and fights them tho.
"if you don't put your seatbelt on, you'll die in a car crash." i was under the assumption that if you didn't put your seat belt on before the car started moving, the second it was in motion some truck would come careening out of nowhere and kill us all. would have an honest to god screaming fit if she even started pulling out of the driveway before i securely fastened my seat belt.
I say something along those lines whenever the guy ahead of my takes a really... really... really long fucking time turning. I mean, it's not like this is Final Destination, where the tiniest slip-up Rube Goldbergs into this massive catastrophe.
KixStar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I know everything."
Unless my mom knew all of the debaucherous shit I was doing as a teenager and never told me, I don't think she did. But I definitely use this line on my 6-year-old. I DO know everything he does because he hasn't learned the art of lying to one's parents yet.
Am 5'8'' and 150 llbs. Mentioned I'd like to start working out to slim down my belly, (that's where my weight is the most noticeable) I didn't feel I was overweight, just wanted to slim down an area that could be better.
"Oh you're all skin and bones! Don't even think about eating less!"
I feel like I am getting comments from Marshall Mathers when I read comments like this on this question. Like, I swear a minute ago I read a comment about how someone's mom was abusive. This went dark - fast.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:24 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think mine is a positive comment. I've realized that her saying things were "my fault" was a lie. It wasn't my fault, it was hers.
With an alcoholic father who sunk into deep depression and financial ruin, it was not OK. And what made her the real liar was that she was the abusive one, being a rage-aholic that took it out on the defenseless kids.
You're at her friend's house. "We're going to leave in 2 minutes!" She says, while gossiping with her friend. You die several hours later. "We're about to leave, honey!" she repeats, not even looking in your direction.
You're such a wonderful person. You could do anything you want, despite the fact we offer you no support, you have no talent at anything, and you're a lazy f#$k. Maybe you could be president. All while driving past a burned out building and saying "Hey, look, all the Chuck-E-Cheeses burned down...
'If you watch TV for much longer your eyes will go square!'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was very young My mom told me to never eat at KFC, because when the big bucket on the sign is spinning it sucks in birds and that's how they get their meat. I've never eaten there, probably the best lie she could have told me.
"I do all the work here, I work ten times harder than you do!"
Really mum? Cause I see you on Facebook all the time when you're supposed to be "working" and you get me to do all the fucking housework. -.-
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 4 some asshole kid slammed the bus window down onto my hand, breaking my right ring finger. My mom told me that when the nail falls off I should leave it out on the counter so the "Nail Fairy" would come and give me a Toonie for it. The "Nail Fairy" is the Tooth Fairy's cousin.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything will be okay, just wait until __________"
Let's see, I've been waiting since preschool, you said gradeschool would be better, NOPE!
So I go to intermediate school, and you promised THAT would be better...nope, worse!
So I go to Middle school, you should be happy I did not kill myself.
Yeah, High school was....not better, but more tolerable. Because I was numb to other people's bullshit by then.
Then came my 20's when I finally could escape - I became a hermit for seven years, most peaceful, drama-free seven years of my life, and most productive.
Then I got social again - what the FUCK was I thinking?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want to be". No. You can't. If you can't sing, you can't be a singer. If you're terrible at sports, you won't be a superstar athlete.
Nostalk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And even if you are, it has more to do with random blind luck, knowing the right person, having money, etc.
When I was younger I got invited to a friends birthday party, and I really wanted to go. But my mom said no, and never told me the reason. I started crying, so to shut me up she promised me that for my next birthday I could have a party and invite my friends. Holy shit I was excited for that!! I was never allowed to have friends over. When my birthday came I mentioned her promise, and she said "No, I never promised something like that!"
Literally, like, half the stuff that comes out of my mouth. Usually regarding whether we have a food, whether we can watch a show, or whether I'm watching someone do something. Okay, not even close to literally half, but I go out of my way to be honest with my kids as much as possible, and then sometimes my husband and I just lie through our teeth because we don't feel like doing or arguing about whatever it is.
loserhi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: "Your room is filthy. Go clean it up, you have 20 minutes and it better be sparkling"
cleans room to perfection
Me: "it's done, go look"
Mom: "I will in a second"
never looks
"I love you more than your shit for brains brother. Please don't tell him, though, he might need therapy." Conveyed to each child separately as a mom/son bonding thingie.
KChayes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
ax255 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It tastes good.
KidJuly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Santa Claus isn't real" as if!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So I break a lot of bowls while doing dishes because I'm a clumsy person. So my mom once realized that we didn't have enough bowls for everyone in the family to have at least one bowl of cereal each morning so she charged me 5 dollars a bowl for about 5 or 6 bowls. She took the money out of the paycheck I get for helping her with her job. My mom took me to the dollar store and what do I see lying on those cheap counters for only 1 dollar a pop... those bowls, I was angry at her for charging me so much when she spent so little.
I grew up pretty poor so we never had cool stuff, so when neighbors did cool stuff or bought cool stuff, my mom would always say "Better times will come for us". I've been hearing that for 26 years, better times will never come mom :(
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this is delicious
lousymom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I didn't touch it."
I'm an adult. My mother visits. And for some reason, she ends up touching everything in my house and it all ends up somewhere I can't ever find it again. She takes something out of a drawer in the kitchen and puts it in the hall closet. It's maddening. I will ask nicely if she has seen whatever I am looking for and she always defensively answers that she didn't touch it. She said this to me on her last visit while holding the item in her hand.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"SEBRAWR"
"Yes mother?"
" CAN YOU DO THAT THING PLEASE?"
"UHHHH WHAT THING?"
"YOU KNOW THAT THING?"
"NO, I don't know what thing?..."
"GOD YOU ARE SO LAZY"
Thanks mom.
bazi2001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Be good otherwise Santa will not come." This is two lies in one. We got presents whether or not we were good and Santa isn't real. Sorry if I ruined it for anyone
Azmodeon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They told me Marijuana was "Mexican Oregano" for making our Chorizo (they never used it in our food). They said the one hitter was a device to help people stop smoking cigarettes. I had very young and hippy parents. My older cousin blew their cover when I was 8.
variaris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Santa's watching"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You don't want what I'm eating, it's spicy."
Or what worked for me because while my brothers didn't like spicy foods, I did: "You don't want what I'm eating, it'll make you poop."
Was a great way to get us to back off when she was eating a snack and didn't want to share 90% of it with us
Ace477 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll tell you when you're older."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mother takes your phone "You've been on it too long!" When I've been on it for five minutes. Then she proceeds to go in her room and stare at her phone reading viral Facebook posts for another five hours.
kilour ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't sit so close to the TV you'll hurt your eyes.
endou15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're so handsome"
Sure mom that's all good and all but um...I'm lonely
Khoopa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you're older, you'll have all the time in the world to look at your phone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: "Just walking around stores, not really gonna buy anything."
Everybody knows Mom's have those stores that she just takes forever in every single time.
My Mom's was Kohl's...She used to walk through every single walkable space in that store, and sometimes repeat departments she has already been in.
...We end up leaving with a shirt.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It doesn't hurt."
I think we all have been to this situations when we accidentally hurt our mothers or something happened to her. You could see on her she is not suffering from the outside, she kept looking strong and it never mattered what was happening, but the inside. I'm sure she was hurt, but she never let her children to be dragged down by her feelings.
"Sorry, I can't make it today. My kid woke up sick. I'm so bummed! Next time!" Moms are allowed to use this excuse once, maybe twice. Some moms use it all the time and just generally flake out on everything. No way your kid is that sick all of the time. Source: I am a stay-at-home mom who has several fellow stay-at-home mom friends.
"You're going to regret that hair colour when you're older"
Back when I was in my teens my mum didn't like that I dyed my hair "weird" colour. Jokes on her, since I'm now in my 20s and pastel purple is my go to hair colour.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mum: Wait here i will only be 2 minutes.
Still waiting 15 minutes later...
Matador0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
โLies Iโve Told My 3 Year Old Recentlyโ
Raul Gutierrez
Trees talk to each other at night.
All fish are named either Lorna or Jack.
Before your eyeballs fall out from watching too much TV, they get very loose.
Tiny bears live in drain pipes.
If you are very very quiet you can hear the clouds rub against the sky.
The moon and the sun had a fight a long time ago.
Everyone knows at least one secret language.
When nobody is looking, I can fly.
We are all held together by invisible threads.
Books get lonely too.
Sadness can be eaten.
I will always be there.
It WILL curdle in your stomach, as stomach acid always produces that effect, nothing special to being sick. But Mom has to clean up the vomit, and doesn't want to be dealing with sour, curdled milk vomit. You feed sick kids based on what YOU can handle cleaning up.
Flashback to the night my two year old got flu sick after Dad had JUST fed her picked herring...
It WILL curdle in your stomach, as stomach acid always produces that effect, nothing special to being sick. But Mom has to clean up the vomit, and doesn't want to be dealing with sour, curdled milk vomit. You feed sick kids based on what YOU can handle cleaning up.
Flashback to the night my two year old got flu sick after Dad had JUST fed her picked herring...
It WILL curdle in your stomach, as stomach acid always produces that effect, nothing special to being sick. But Mom has to clean up the vomit, and doesn't want to be dealing with sour, curdled milk vomit. You feed sick kids based on what YOU can handle cleaning up.
Flashback to the night my two year old got flu sick after Dad had JUST fed her picked herring...
It WILL curdle in your stomach, as stomach acid always produces that effect, nothing special to being sick. But Mom has to clean up the vomit, and doesn't want to be dealing with sour, curdled milk vomit. You feed sick kids based on what YOU can handle cleaning up.
Flashback to the night my two year old got flu sick after Dad had JUST fed her picked herring...
It WILL curdle in your stomach, as stomach acid always produces that effect, nothing special to being sick. But Mom has to clean up the vomit, and doesn't want to be dealing with sour, curdled milk vomit. You feed sick kids based on what YOU can handle cleaning up.
Flashback to the night my two year old got flu sick after Dad had JUST fed her picked herring...
If you don't shut the fuck up, you will find a way to shut up.
Hiciao ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you don't have kids of your own, you'll regret it." My memories of childhood are not the happiest, but whenever I quote her on all of the parent-related things that turned her into a super anxious lady, she denies it.
Not something she said, but did. When shopping if ask for something, either a toy or a candy. She would put it in the cart and by the time we got to check out or even back home is have already forgotten about it. She would have the cashier hide the item and not scan it so I wouldn't actually have it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do not blame you. Lies are not fun. And when a person is young, it shatters the illusion that your parents do not lie. It never matters what the lie is about, honesty is more important. I never understood the need for parents to lie about gift giving.
"You're not fat honey, you're just husky" (or big boned, or 'about to start a growth spurt') yeah mom, sure, I'm 33 there is only 1 direction I grow. That's out, not up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Just take off your glasses, I promise I won't laugh!"
That Harry Potter was evil, not just a fun story. Because of all the magic in it, Mom banned it, I have since become a fan. If she had not I probably would not have read/watched it, as there would have been no interest in what I was missing.
siyanoq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh I know just how you're feeling!" goes on to tell me a story that has no correlation to the actual problem I'm having
For example, I was being treated like absolute crap and basically being shut out of a group of "friends". I tell her this and she goes on the tell me about how her friend tried to make her hide her friend's diet pills and she said no to her friend. Good for you mom! You're the perfect little preachers daughter!
Start as friends and then ask them out. Works for me.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:22:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's great advice. I met my husband and we started as best friends. Now we're married and play video games in the evenings :) Quality women enjoy quality men.
digdilem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Careful you don't swallow that apple pip or a tree will grow in your tummy!"
Fucking parents. I was obsessively worried about that for YEARS.
"Your teeth will fall off / se le van a caer los dientes!" - my grandmother whenever she'd see me eating candy
"Everything's going to be alright / things will work out" - my mom, but I don't think this is a bad thing to say. I used to get mad when people would say this, but now I find it comforting.
When I would run off on my mom while we were in a grocery store, she would say "ok, well, I'm leaving" and then she would go around the corner.
I should have went and hid. There was no way she would have left, and I could've scared the shit out of her. Instead I lived in fear of being left behind.
ouissd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I blocked AdviceAnimals a long time ago, but I remember thinking a similar thing (Reddit is obvious) when I noticed "Shitty Suburban Mother" (or whatever the fuck she's called) existed as a meme but no such equivalent for men existed.
Crwuxly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me i would get an epileptic attack if i played too much video games. I cant get epilepsy, but i did get an irrational fear for epilepsy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's going to be OK/everything'll be fine/etc"
Not as a bold-faced lie, but in some cases it's a "little white lie". She has no idea if it's all going to turn out for the better or for worse. She's just saying something reassuring to make the child feel better, not a statement of fact at all.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
After my mother would beat the shit out of me for missing a key on the piano, my father would say, "She only does it because she loves you".
Fuck off you cowardly piece of shit, you stood there while she put scars in my back. And then you tell her, "you can't do that in this country, the CPS will come and take your son away and then I'll get in trouble with the cops"
hajaja9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:56:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I loved to sing in the car on long journeys, when I was young and when he got fed up with it, my MOM would stop the car and let me out, saying that my voice was so good that he thought everyone outside would like to hear it. When I had had enough, he let me back in and we continued the journey.
P_logey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:11:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That ain't right. I hope at least you have some influence over your child. If you can maintain that, the kid will turn out ok, then the years fly by, and your babe will get wise and be able to assess things. She won't be able to control the situation forever.
Another one!
Me: Daddy, we don't have a chimney so how does Santa Claus get in?
Him: Santa has a key to every house in the world...
Sat on the front stoop contemplating that answer at about 4 years of age and concluded bullshit! He would have to have a damn caravan of sleighs for all those keys!
We laugh our asses off now. My 81 year old dad says "What the hell was I supposed to say? You asked too many questions, smart ass kid!"
I guess this isn't common but my mom always lied to us about dumb shit. My favorite was when she told us for years that she couldn't cut off the crust on our sandwiches for lunch because by the time we went to lunch, it would grow back.
Meanwhile, we would ask everyone who had their crust cut off, how didn't It grow back. They looked at us like we were fucking retards...
It won't be. That Harlet Aine still has my Pokemon yellow with a shiny koffing. I was very clear that she could only borrow it, it was not a gift. Koffing isn't even native to pokemon yellow . Do you even know the pain and suffering i put in to get it. So no it won't be alright and I won't forget this in a few years when I'll be "chasing girls" instead. It will never be alright
We're only in our pyjamas because we spend every blessed minute running around after everyone else and don't have a minute to pee, never mind get dressed!
Firstly, Kinda impossible to avoid em' when you have em'.. Secondly, why the fuck do we have bed bugs you disgusting whore? Thirdly, How the fuck am I supposed to sleep tight knowing there's bugs in my bed you dumb bitch?
Oh really? Do you have to provide for an entire family, working full time yourself? Do you have to constantly worry about what would happen if you got fired?
But no, I'm sure cleaning the house then sitting at home watching TV after you dropped the little shit off at school is soooo hard.
It is actually a very patronizing line I don't find housewives tend to come out with. It mostly comes from women who work outside the house. Like patting a small child on the head when they have drawn a completely rubbish picture and telling them how good it is. Same as the ones that come out with a mother or teacher has to be chief, doctor, designer, gardener, psychologist just because they may put a band aid on, cook a simple dinner, remove some weeds or sew a button on. They are simply patronizing.
That he was just getting a pack of cigarettes.
Oh wait mothers...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You know, the gestation period is actually nine LUNAR months"
No, it isn't. It's 280 days, which is ten lunar months. My father got his future wife pregnant before they got married.
The shocker is that it took over 4 decades for me to bother doing the math.
kthxba1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I couldn't get tickets to the Uncle Al show." Meanwhile, all my friends and every other child in the greater Cincinnati area was on the damn show!!! Yes, I'm still bitter.
riloh ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:20:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is ok," or "everything will be ok."
Nothing is ok. The world is fucked and getting worse, and you eventually lose everything and everyone no matter how you live your life, and you're destined for an eternity of nonexistence.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:53:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually the world has steadily been getting better for like 200 years, but ok.
People don't want hear this. They want to think it's getting worse so they can either rationalize being dicks or not trying to change what they don't like.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is really sad to read, but I think an important truth nonetheless.
How long they were in labor. It's like fish stories with guys. I swear, every time my sister tells how long labor was with one of her kids, she adds on half an hour. Eventually she will have been in labor half her life.
CaIIous ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:37:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thatgl ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:38:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You look gorgeous, you'll have all the boys chasing after you in that!" Something along those lines whenever I dress up. I'm sure many other potatoes can relate.
"You can be anything you want." False. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Honestly think if I had tried from a young age to be anything that had to intrinsically involve math, I still would have failed.
Sati1984 ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 13:03:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You will accomplish nothing in your life if you sit around and play video games all day."
Since the professional e-sports scene exists, this argument is invalid.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:11:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, I played Black Ops for like 5 hours last night and nothing happened.
Moms just want their kid(s) to get out, make memories, learn about the world, make everyday a chance to discover and achieve worthy life elements.
My brother sat around eating and playing games all day, even considered leaving school because he had no motivation for anything else. My mother encouraged him and got him opportunities to get out and live an active life. Now he saves lives and makes a difference in others' lives in a set career and has a pretty good income and a nice home with a chance of early retirement. He even took time to see other places in the world to learn and experience culture. He's accomplished quite a lot.
โItโs wrong to want to kill Americans.โ TRUTH: Itโs not wrong to want to kill americans. Itโs simply a basic survival instinct. Americans, by their very existence, threaten global species extinction of the human race through their fascination with nuclear weapon, and refusal to participate in climate change initiatives. The desire to take the life of someone simply for being american is a manifestation of a genetically encoded survival instinct in an effort to ensure procreation of the species.
Saved comment
guile20 ยท 7223 points ยท Posted at 16:25:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you tell me the truth, you won't get in trouble"
Ubername_ ยท 1118 points ยท Posted at 18:00:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Okay.. I ate the last donut.... Okay last twelve donuts. grounded for two weeks
SnailzRule ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 21:11:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think your parents should do the the opposite of grounding you if you ate 12 donuts...
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 22:25:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Son, you can't return to our home for two weeks because you ate 12 doughnuts. Your mother and I do not love you anymore. One day you will look back on this and cry.
-del2phi ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:13:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Air them?
Natanael_L ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:14:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, space them
badfan ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:20:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
NNJAxKira ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:46:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
2, Personal space
Natanael_L ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:56:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
3; personal space!
NNJAxKira ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:44:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
4, stay out of my personal space
VagCookie ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 21:43:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats why I always went big as a kid. I knew my punishment was going to be severe no matter what I did. Cue me riding my bike to school with the router in my backpack after they banned me from using the internet for two weeks. If I can't have it, no one can. What were they gonna do?? ground me from it another two weeks?
They did... and it was an awful summer that I had to spend OUTSIDE WITH MY FRIEND.
rillius ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:56:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine used to love grounding me from TV, radio, and listening to music. Never could figure out how to get back at them for that.
kennyl ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:58:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Be outside, find a wife, profit.
BotImJustARobot ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:59:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Murder. That's a way.
CuzUAskedFurret ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me 2 thx
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 22:09:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel old. Anyone else? :/
Not feeling that old any longer. Oh my sweet summer child... Also, jumper cables.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:52:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are routers obsolete? Everyone I know has a router.
thabc ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:45:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in my day we plugged the computer directly into the phone line. Routers were a thing mounted in a rack at the ISP.
westlyroots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:53 on August 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
DSL or shudders that Internet?
VagCookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well that was like almost 10 years ago. Actually exactly ten years ago. I was 15 I think.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 01:05:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
maggieG42 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:27:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I try not to do this and so far have been successful. I suspect being a human that perhaps one day she will do something that despite wanting to hold my disappointment in may be harder than I can cope but so far so good. I go along the line of not asking her if she did something when I full well know she did but instead just telling her out right. For example there was a situation where she decided to write her name in permanent marker on the underside of her bedside table. Instead of asking if she did it, obviously she did. I just said. So you wrote your name on the underside of your bedside table. Well that was a stuff up wasn't it? Because your now going to have to clean it off. No yelling no grounding no smacking just had to clean up the mess she made. Also told her what she did is not uncommon and that is why I was so easily able to find it. I know there was a punishment but I look at it as a consequence rather than the traditional yell, hit ground punishment.
me_llamo_greg ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:43:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And you didn't trick her. That's the thing that gets me. Especially with kids, it doesn't help to be deceptive with how you handle things. I was always told that being honest about what I did was significantly better than lying about it, but my parents' reaction to honesty didn't make me feel like that was actually the case. It led me to think that even if I did tell the truth, I was in for some serious shit. If I lied about it and got caught, I was in some serious shit, but it was at least worth the shot. Trust is a hard thing to gain, but super easy to throw away.
paynemi ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:16:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate being 38
CajunTurkey ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:25:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, after eating twelve donuts, it's not like you can move around anyways.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
its only half a lie. she jist didnt expect you to have eaten 12 donuts
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's because you lied first!
gnvieve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
was it maple glaze, jack?
3_Penis_Wine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli
Deezer19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli, but I did, and I'm ashamed.
fgot_my_password ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus thats harsh, I would have just gotten a "don't do that again" and she wouldnt have bought me treats for a week.
blakeinalake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I selected a single donut to complement my morning cup of chocolate milk...then I ate eleven donuts
Jm_777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:51 on August 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You got grounded for eating too many donuts?
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 21:14:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If my son ate a dozen of my donuts he'd be grounded for a dozen fucking weeks.
czarb ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:10:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are his arms broken?
[deleted] ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 19:19:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Ozzybec ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:18:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep this is what I say & it works. We have a great honest, relationship!
Darth-Pimpin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's only the honest version if the parents are decent people. A shocking number of them aren't.
[deleted] ยท 141 points ยท Posted at 19:11:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FWIW, as a dad, I usually take it easier on my kid if he comes clean rather than lying.
mudra311 ยท 181 points ยท Posted at 20:32:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can game theory your child.
If you tell me the truth now you'll only get grounded 1 week.
If I find out later, you get 4 weeks.
If you tell me after this conversation, you get 2 weeks.
If I somehow never find out, you get no punishment at all.
casualblair ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 22:06:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Somehow I think the last one is the seed that leads to patricide.
CykoTom ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:20:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
killing your father is the only way to get away with stealing $20 out of his wallet?
casualblair ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:40:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Give a dad a fire and he's warm for a night. Set a dad on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
GTAmirite ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:31:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Omg imagine what years of this would do to a kid
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:35:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Turn them into a politician?
GTAmirite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:44:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah... or Lex Luthor.
darkplane13 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:14:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But hey, that's JUST A THEORY!
Matthias720 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:33:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey guys, I think we found MatPat!
[deleted] ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 20:30:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
New stepdad checking in...
kennyl ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:03:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you put boogers on the wall, either way you have to come clean or come clean.
Roast_A_Botch ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:39:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're not my real father. I don't have to do shit!
sashir ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:39:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hardest part about being a stepdad to a cool kid is trying to instill any sense of responsibility. My wife's sons' dad is a space cadet cokehead, floats from job to job and is in and out of his parents house depending on when his last bender was.
His dad is slowly teaching him how 'cool' he can be by just not showing up to school whenever, staying up till 2am eating junk food until he pukes, etc. Like, dude, he's 8... he needs a hair more structure than that.
And I look like the asshole when I ask him to clean his room before playing xbox, or no, you can't sass your mom and hit your half-sister and expect to get a toy at the store.
Hypothesis_Null ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 19:33:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But lying comes with the chance of not being caught at all.
Also, if the only way you could find out that X happened was your child telling you about it - then there weren't any really external consequences from the action. So any punishment on the matter would be unjust.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:43:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Untrue. Something might have happened that they didn't know the exact cause of. Like, say, a broken glass.
Hypothesis_Null ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:50:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then that obviously has outside consequences (item is broken, and someone could cut their foot).
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:50:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If the only way you could find out thatย Xย happened was your child telling you about it - then there weren't any really external consequences from the action"
The only way you'd know your child did it and not a breeze or a pet would be of they admitted, and yet there are outside consequences is my punt.
TheMinecraft13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:51:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly.
SandpaperScrew ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:45:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But what if your child stole money from your wallet, was trying to kill the neighbor's cat by drowning it or was bullying another kid at school? Some things still need punishment, even if it's only firm counseling on the subject.
loljetfuel ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 20:27:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most things don't need punishment, they need consequences. It sounds pedantic, but there's actually a big difference.
Yeah, a punishment works as a consequence, but really it's a consequence of getting caught. Making sure that kids are exposed to (rather than protected from) the real consequences of their actions is almost always more effective.
Kid steals money from your wallet? Cool, work with them to figure out which of their stuff they just sold you. This is also an opportunity for them to learn the concept of "bargaining power", since they will have none under those circumstances.
Trying to kill the neighbor's cat? Go explain it to the neighbor, apologize, go with her to the vet to have the cat checked out (where they'll have to explain to the vet what they did), get the cat a new toy to make up for the stress caused.
And so on.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:32:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If the kid tried to kill the cat it's time for psychological help. That is an indicator of someone with the potential to become a killer (look up the homicidal triad). Much more is needed there than just a trip to the vet.
loljetfuel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:16:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If a kid routinely tries to torture or kill animals, it's an indicator of problems. An isolated event is not.
Besides "tries to kill" describes a pretty broad set of circumstances, ranging from innocent (was being irresponsible rather than actively trying) to aggressive (kid was scratched/bitten and responded inappropriately) to disturbing (kid was methodically strangling the poor thing).
Jumping to conclusions that your kid is disturbed based on an isolated incident is almost always going to cause its own harm.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And do you honestly think that if you catch them only once that they've done it only once? The best policy would be to ensure there isn't something else going on. Nobody said to assume they're disturbed. I'm saying you damn well should have a professional check. If you study serial killers you'll see that most became adept very early on at hiding the animals they killed because they knew it wasn't socially acceptable behavior. I'm not talking about bugs, nor was the example given as bugs. Any kid that's attempting to kill pets should be evaluated. Too many parents ignore the behavior because they don't know how to deal with it or think it's a phase. Most aren't even aware it's happening, so the ones who do find out should be responsible with that knowledge. Every bit of study on serial killers supports evaluating that behavior instead of making assumptions. The problem is that a parent is not a psychologist and doesn't have the knowledge or experience to judge that behavior. There is nothing wrong with a doctor's appointment and an evaluation. For that matter there's nothing wrong with talking to a professional as the parent to see if an evaluation should be pursued.
deadhead94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Killing animals need help but the MacDonald triad is flawed bullshit.
SandpaperScrew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everybody has a different opinion on how to raise kids. But I'm of the belief that raising kids without some sense of strictness and a certain line of nontolerance creates selfish entitled adults and wanksters.
conquer69 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:28:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
You should explain to your kid the consequences of their actions. If you raise them well, they will do the "right thing" without you having to spell it out for them.
Do you want your kids to do things because they fear the punishment or because they know what the right thing is to do? (and came to that conclusion on their own)
For example, explaining to a child why it's wrong to steal. Lots of different ways to teach them that and make sure they understand it. The feeling of "this is wrong, I shouldn't do it" will overpower the temptation of stealing.
However, if you only punish them after they are caught, the only thing they learn is to not get caught after stealing. Even worse, if the punishment isn't severe enough, they might even accept it and continue to steal without feeling bad about it.
It would also be a great opportunity to teach the value of hard earned money and how much work it takes to make $20.
And a lot of those opinions are wrong. All the crappy parenting today is proof of it. I'm actually surprised there isn't an obligatory course for parents since raising a kid is the most important thing they will do in their lives.
falconfetus8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And yet, so many mothers will say "don't you tell me how to raise my child!"
Lady, you know just as much about raising a child as every other human.
loljetfuel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course, but I don't see how what you said is in any way disagreeing with what I said?
SandpaperScrew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right, so we're good then.
Hypothesis_Null ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:49:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Missing money is the evidence. If they replace it before you find out, no problem. (Not that steeling is good! Or that "if you don't get caught, it's okay" - that's a terrible lesson).
Drowning a cat is obviously bad - but I'm trying to imagine a situation where a child is both engaging in attempted pet-murder and would also tell you about it.
I'm only referring to 'victim-less crimes' here. Technical fouls. Bad and punished because they are, not because they actually lead to bad things themselves. Kids need punishment because they are protected to varying degrees from the real consequences of their actions (often unloaded onto parents or others) - and you still need to be able to discourage them from said actions.
Punishing them for something that made no one any worse off and leaves no evidence will encourage them to lie. And them feeling justified in lying. Which is a negative habit and attitude to build up.
LiquidSilver ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:41:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You could still want them to admit it even if there's no real doubt about it. Being honest is a virtue.
Hypothesis_Null ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:53:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I fully agree.
The problem is:
Honesty - punishment
No Honesty - no punishment
If honesty is a virtue, why is it the worse choice?
Now, when there are consequences: broken vase, missing money, etc then there is some external effect on reality that will be noticed. Item destroyed, someone hurt, value lost, etc. And honesty will of course serve them better there. And they should be punished.
But arbitrary or at least immesurable things? Staying up too late. Eating a cookie before dinner, etc. If you can't tell your child is staying up too late (ie they're not falling asleep in class) or that they're snacking when you forbid it (they still finish a full serving of dinner). Those are things you won't notice. Yes, they should get more sleep, and they shouldn't be snacking close to mealtime. But if you can't tell, why should they tell you? Basically micromanagement or arbitrary rules and consequences results in encouraging dishonesty. Demanding they report their own infractions just adds an extra layer of dishonesty on top.
If honesty is a virtue, it should have some benefit. The original post complaining here, is that parents punish kids for honesty, and that leads to bad results.
Icon_Crash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not when you tell your kids you have super dad powers.
Hypothesis_Null ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you had super dad powers, you wouldn't need me to tell you what I did."
Kids lack experience, and a full understanding of morality. They don't lack for intelligence or deviance.
Icon_Crash ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:18:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, but they understand superpowers.
embracing_insanity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was my mom's way and I've passed that on to my kid - "You will get in more trouble if you lie about it than if you just tell me the truth."
I added this part - "and almost all lies eventually come to the surface. May not be today or tomorrow or even a week from now, but eventually...it'll come out." Of course, the little shit still tries to lie every once in awhile...and gets caught. I always joke that she'd make a terrible criminal.
notalchemists ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 20:33:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Strict parents raise the best liars.
what_is_the_chance25 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 21:14:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Best friend believes his own lies, they are so good. Parents are European old world traditional parents. He can lie and you know for a fact it's a lie, and still belive him. Fucking unbelievable
nightrogue114 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 21:35:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Product of super strict parents here. Great at lying without people knowing, but I refuse to lie unless I feel like I absolutely have to (usually it's to my parents because they're abusive jerks)
My parents were the spanking in a grocery store, limit what books you were allowed to read and shows you could watch, no going to friends houses without speaking to their parents and like 2 weeks advance notice types.
I still have trouble just doing things with friends cause I'm breaking that cycle of needing to plan it super far in advance.
ETA: My parents even tried to forbid me to move out after my 18th birthday
CuzUAskedFurret ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:25:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So what's your ETA?
creditcardpie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, me, how are we today?
Proxi3d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I often get concerned about how much easier it is to lie to my mom about things than tell the truth. I can either get in no trouble, or minimal trouble later because she'll find it when it's no longer relevant.
However, she's nosy af, so I've had to change all my information to online only and keep stuff literally hidden away. Now I resent it when people try to get me to do things I was going to do anyway to the point where I will deliberately do the opposite thing, knowing I am doing the opposite thing, just because it was the only power i somewhat had.
OctopusEyes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well is it unbelievable or not? Make up your mind, man
iAmTheFreshPrince ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 19:58:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you were mexican "Tell me the truth an i wont hit you" "No your going to hit me" "Im not! Just tell me" "Fine i ate it" *chancla or belt or ass whooping ensues" "you said you werent going to hit me!!"
RecycledEternity ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 20:55:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know how long it took me to learn this one, but when I did, I always saw the various outcomes for the situation. Either: I get punished for confessing, or stay quiet in hopes that the slim evidence of my misdeeds doesn't come to light... the latter was always the best choice.
Taught me two things, as a kid: one, sometimes lying is the best option (not the best thing to learn--I'm just saying it WAS something I learned); and two, if even the most trusted people in my life can lie, then who is there to trust?
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:16:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
not really mom, but with my dad. I used to tell him the truth, and he would have a go at me for it. if i talked to him about something embarrassing and asked him not to talk about it, it would go and share it around. that, that hurt.
chrisalexbrock ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:10:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your dad is a dick.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:24:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You don't say
chrisalexbrock ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:41:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do too!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:58:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then, later: "Why don't you ever tell your mom and I about anything?"
kaeroku ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:31:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That lie only worked once, for me. And because I value honesty over most other things a person can do, I intend for that not to be a lie for my own children.
Barf_Dexter ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:46:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've stressed to my son that telling the truth is more important than x - and have always thanked him and praised him for being a truth teller. He's 8 and as far as I know has never lied to me.
falconfetus8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I see you have the right mentality!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
kaeroku ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:11:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've put a lot of thought into this. Punish them for NOT coming to me? But that creates an atmosphere where punishment is still on the table, and I'm not sure that sends the right message.
Reduce the punishment if they're honest with me? Hard to balance; how do I know they will be aware of what the greater punishment would have been, and not just think that I'm punishing them anyway?
No punishment for certain things does seem like it won't produce the desired results; actions have consequences, at least that's how I was raised. And yet, is that necessary?
I've read study after study showing that rewarding desired behavior is far more effective at training desired qualities than punishing undesired behavior. And implementing that sounds like quite a challenge - as you say, grinning and bearing it can take a toll on the adult in the situation.
I don't currently have children, however, I have significant others; while it's not a direct comparison, there are definitely conflicts which arise, and I've put a lot of practice into communicating with them in a way which is both effective and kind. What I have found is that - more than anything - being understanding of their faults and appreciative of their good qualities produces an environment where they strive to please me.
Now, these are not children, and there may be something to be said about forming a basis for right and wrong before adopting the above approach. I'm just not sure where that balance is (and am terrified of getting it wrong.) This is probably why I don't currently have children.
Icon_Crash ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:31:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not really a 'less' punishment, but you avoid double-punishment.
kaeroku ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:06:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah see, that still doesn't promote the concept of coming to me with problems, it just encourages them to avoid being caught. That's not really what I want. My family growing up was absolutely terrible, to the point where none of us really talk to each other anymore. That's not what I want for my life.
Icon_Crash ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:17:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's the other side? Telling them that they can do whatever they want and as long as they fess up, there's no punishment? You tell them thank you for being honest, and you are being punished for your actions. It would have been worse if you lied about it.
kaeroku ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:41:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well there's a false dichotomy here; its not like every situation is one in which someone comes to you with a problem or doesn't.
Sometimes people just do stupid things, and so there's plenty of opportunity for punishment, if you feel that's needed to teach a lesson. The point here is in creating an environment where honesty is preferred over dishonesty, which doesn't necessarily have to conflate with punishment.
A5H13Y ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:23:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Alternatively, "you can come to me with anything."
vibribbon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:25:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lesson I learnt not too long ago is never punish your kid for stating their opinion. You can't go punishing them just because something they said offends you (or your new partner, more specifically).
Doing that is a fast track to them not talking openly with you.
shikiroin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:15:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When parents lie about this, all it does is encourage their kids to lie.
wetwater ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:03:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Truth, lies, it didn't matter to my mother. At the very least I'd get yelled at, insulted, and grounded. Depending how angry she was there was hitting in there as well.
coldlikedeath ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:20:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
โฆ yeah. Sure, ma.
brittsuzanne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I raised my ex's daughter from age 4 to 8.. when i realized she would lie for fear of being in trouble, for even the smallest thing, i would tell her this and mean it. We wouldnyalk about why what she did was wrong and what to do next time. She may get a small punishment for whatever it was, but nothing that would make her not tell the truth again.
tbauer516 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:01:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Baited
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can't handle the truth!
OnlyRacistOnReddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a Dad I have said this a time or two and only when I know everything. Never once has a child come clean right after me telling them that. Then ten minutes later when they admit they did whatever they get in trouble because they didn't tell the truth until they were truly caught.
kirstin_brianne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What they mean by this is "if you tell me the truth you won't get in trouble...like you would if you lied"
devlspawn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That upsets me so much. I stick to this 100%, my kids are in some serious shit if I catch them lying though.
Spicy-Rolls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That alone is a a half truth too.
thebarbershopwindow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My daughter once got into trouble from a teacher after being given that line.
I tore into him so badly that he left the room in tears. He didn't realise that her dad was an educational consultant who knew exactly how to tear apart teachers. The bastard had no right to manipulate her like that.
vagusnight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I tried that a lot on my nieces, and I always meant it. They never told the truth.
MagicBob78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The correct usage of this is "If you tell me the truth you'll get in less trouble. "
supershinythings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. HUUUUGE lie.
Also, "I love you both equally."
Such bullshit. Mothers ALWAYS secretly or not so secretly prefer one child over the other. They won't say it, but their behavior will clearly reflect this preference. Source: the non-preferred child.
tarvoplays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If I told the truth from the start I would get in a lot less trouble then if I lied about it.
n8saces ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is true and funny. But my family is the exception to the rule. I have two boys that are grown men now. We actually had this rule in our house. No matter what they did if they told the truth, they wouldn't get in trouble. We would of course talk about it and why they shouldn't have done what they did. It actually worked very well and they are great men now who I'm very proud of.
DizKord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm almost positive this is where my lying problem came from; my parents conditioning me to lie when confronted about even the most basic mistakes I've made.
AWildAnonHasAppeared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shoutout to my parents for teaching me to lie
Grammarnazi_bot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a great way to raise lying children, if you lie about it
SleepyConscience ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See, this was actually sort of true with my mom. I would get in a lot less trouble if I came clean without being forced because my mom is someone who considers honesty one of the greatest virtues and who actually claims she NEVER lies. That's of course a lie, or, probably more accurately, a delusion. The thing is, it's a bad lesson to teach kids. At least to some extent because it'll get you in a lot more trouble than necessary with the law and a lot of other authorities. I certainly wouldn't teach it to my kids.
TheCulpster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've fallen for this one before!
Raquel930 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is a good policy. However they will still face natural consequences just no extra punishment. Like if they steal candy from a store and admit to it, they have to return it or pay for it and apologize to the store but won't get grounded. But if they lie and are caught, they face natural consequences plus punishment for lying.
conrad1077 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely more than once I got caught with this.
Me: ok I hit my brother in the face. Mom: (tells dad=worse punishment)
TheFlashFrame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Came here to post this
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I babysat for a woman that did this and she always followed through. No matter what the kids had done (obviously within reason, it wasn't a get out of jail free card). I learned from her that is definitely the way to go, if they trust you you will be able to trust them.
Bahunter22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My four year old is catching on but I'm still ahead of the game slightly. "Thank you for telling the truth, you aren't in trouble for it. But since you chose to do <insert assholery here>, you have a consequence".
ERRORMONSTER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Easiest way to teach your children to lie to authority on reflex right there.
Tiiba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear.
f3riah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't that just encourage your child to lie to you since you've demonstrated that you're not deserving of trust? (Or more to the point, you've shown that there will be punishment either way so might as well lie because there's nothing to lose. Great parenting.)
mtwstr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
its a life lesson better learned now than in a police interrogation
Ecaftnuctoh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The police still try to pull this.
EyespyAll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a mother, I abide by this with my children as my mom did for me.
dramboxf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother was a pathological liar who punished lying so severely that it had the opposite effect on all of us kids. All three of us are accomplished liars. Even if you came clean after the lie (say the day after,) the punishment was 30x more severe (physical punishment) than if you just admitted it up front. You'd think that would lead all of us to tell the truth, and you'd be wrong. We gambled that she'd never find out 1/10th of the stuff we did (and she didn't,) so the calculus worked in our favor.
...sort of. Great way to raise 3 messed up kids.
SirPixelfist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
fucking preach man
doihavemakeanewword ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I had a nervous breakdown after I got a C, Mom. Also why I didn't tell you about it until I came home for Christmas.
Says_Pointless_Stuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This shit infuriates me. It just teaches your kid to lie to you.
2manymans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh that's cold. When I say this to my kids I always follow through. You can't break a promise to a lid, they never ever forget
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"....for lying"
they always forget that part. What the kid doesn't know, is they're already in trouble for the act. The system was rigged from the start.
oheilthere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother always abides by this rule and i've heard her completely berate another parent for saying this to their child then not following through. Punishing your kid for telling the truth is a really good way to get them to just not tell you anything.
Realgigclin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i scratched the entire side of my moms car once with my bike, she asked about the scratch and said this famous quote. i told her the truth and didn't get in trouble.
jeepersvespers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:27:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom would let me decide the consequences if I was honest. Within limits. If I lied she decided alone.
I quickly learned that the truth was my friend.
MattRMoney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Response: If you're lying to me about that, you're going to be in trouble... on Reddit in 5 years.
Aurorabeamblast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
4444 points. We must not disrupt this transient state of oddly satisfying harmony of mononumerism.
Dave_the_pope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is for this reason we have the fifth amendment.
ashmgee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am a mom and I refuse to break my word on this. I live by " if you tell me the truth you wont be in trouble, but if I find out on my own its going to be twice as worse- so fess up."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I want to get that in writing
MrBigD34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:20:30 on August 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is your only post ever and it has 4000 upvotes.
TheMeddleWall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like what cops say too
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:44:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
If you admit to having drugs and turn them over to us, we will go easy on you. (where if you don't admit to anything at all there is nothing they can charge you with and would need a search warrant), where as if they could nail you already they wouldn't be asking.
Hot_KarlMarx ยท 4662 points ยท Posted at 13:46:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That she did a great job cutting my hair.
[deleted] ยท 2725 points ยท Posted at 15:25:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Asian bowl cut?
Hot_KarlMarx ยท 3036 points ยท Posted at 15:31:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know it.
[deleted] ยท 97 points ยท Posted at 15:33:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's better if you're not Asian yet have an Asian bowl cut.
Please tell me you're Asian.
tossinthisshit1 ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 16:49:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
in the mid 90s, all the little white boys had that asian bowl cut. i wanted one, but my hair is curly and i couldn't have one.
[deleted] ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 17:48:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I was gonna say, what makes this asian? I just knew it as "what everyone had in 5th grade."
kennyl ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 20:04:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a Colombian who had this in elementary school. He's an awesome kid and I saw him featured in the kid's section of a newspaper once.
only_sometimes_haiku ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 20:59:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that was a nice little anecdote.
ncnotebook ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:08:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Plot Twist: kennyl lives in Colombia.
Vanetia ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 18:45:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's actually a picture floating around somewhere of my mom holding an actual bowl on my brother's head and cutting his hair.
He was a little white boy
Syzygye ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:18:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing you're not my sister, but theres a picture of me with a bowl on my head somewhere out there.
byecyclehelmet ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 20:49:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a picture of myself right here.
BITCRUSHERRRR ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:05:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, early 2000's I looked like Dylan Roof.
FizzleMateriel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:51:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the "Lloyd Christmas".
tossinthisshit1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:58:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
or the "will hunting". or the 'leo dicaprio"
HerpaDerpaShmerpadin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Asian noodle cut.
Hot_KarlMarx ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 20:23:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not asian. Super white. My mom also is super white. She also used a super white bowl. Basically everything about it was white. Except my tears. They were clear.
DroppedLeSoap ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 17:48:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God! My stepdad was a licensed hair cutter and stylist. My mom ALWAYS made him cut my hair. For someone who made a living cutting people's hair I had a god damn bowl cut for 6 years. The moment I was 18 I was allowed to grow my hair to any length or do with it as I pleased.
My hair now reaches just above my butt and is made to headbang
ThatDrunkenScot ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:02:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pics or gtfo
Dicecard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:36:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good job on maintaining that hair buddy, I'll be getting there in a couple of years (past shoulder blade now)
DroppedLeSoap ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:41:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Best thing I can say is brush it daily. Not just after you shower or before you go out
Got twenty minutes you have nothing planned? Brush it. Got time before work? Brush it. Brush it before bed.
Also it depends on the person and their tastes but I only wash mine once a week. I rinse it daily when I shower but clean it with shampoo and conditioner once a week. It's still cleaner than most people's.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:49:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DroppedLeSoap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:12:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a factory. I HAVE to have my hair in a pony tail.
8 hours a day it's tied up. As long as I brush it it shouldn't suffer much damage
Dicecard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:07:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Brushing is fucking amazing, I wish I had ONE girlfriend with long hair so we could brush each others hair. I use both shampoo and conditioner daily, but the shampoo is really "basic" with no extra perfumes or any shit like this.
Anaklumos12 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 16:48:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We must stand together.
Brothers in bowl cuts.
enron_scandal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There were sisters with bowl cuts too...unfortunate sisters...
Anaklumos12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know. My sister went through it too.
immoralwhore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had that "hairstyle" for the first four years of my life. I looked like a little Asian boy. I am neither Asian nor am I male ๐ญ
enron_scandal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel your pain, sister
ginghan ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 19:33:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Victim of Asian bowl cut here. Mom literally put a small bowl on my head and trimmed the hair sticking out when I was 4 years old.
Then she tried to cut my hair again when I was 12 with a buzzer. I only needed a simple even buzzcut all around, like I've always had. Simple, right? Well after every buzz through she insisted it wasn't even and would buzz through again. Ended up shaving off all my hair. I never let her cut my hair after that. She laughs about it but I get really pissed if she brings it up.
azantyri ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:34:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
represent, asian bowl cut sibling. worse, my mom came over from korea just before i was born, so she didn't know a whole lot about what to do. so i ended up in preschool with a great uniform : brown toughskin pants and green polo shirts with the little animal on them like izod but not izods. green top and brown bottoms, i was a fuckin tree five days a week for my first five years of school.
needless to say, i did not end up in the popular kids clique.
Covert_Ruffian ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:11:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I walked around with a Mr. Spock (and was called that too by other kids) haircut. Fucking sucked. I shit you not, she said "Oh it makes your bangs look nice!". It lasted half a month (because nice fast growing hair).
What bangs mom? YOU FUCKING CUT THEM. THERE ARE NO BANGS, THERE'S ALMOST NO SPACE TO PART THEM INTO FUCKING BANGS.
Bkradley1776 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:26:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Karl Max with a bowl cut!
I wonder if that would have effected the spread of Marxism?
"Hey man, check out this guy!"
"No way dude, he has a bowl cut!"
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:32:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My asian friends tell me that the asian bowlcut is a right of passage, is this true?
Axl7879 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My family in China calls it the mushroom head look
http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/recipes/images/b/bd/StrawMushrooms.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20080516004446
justsoyouunderstand ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had that damn cut until freshmen year of high school.
Alechilles ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:28:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL that all Karl Marx needed to look hot was an Asian bowl cut. huh... The more you know.
Syzygye ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You saying he wasn't the epitome of sex without it?
AlexOverby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm American and white and I was forced to get the bowl cut. I hated it.
Ardbeg66 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:59:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, mummy's little fucking prince! Gets a fucking bowl. You know what I got? A NOTCH!!!! A big fucking notch in my 6th grade picture. What I wouldn't have given for a bowl.
_killer__bear_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:14:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You look like a hot version of Karl Marx now!
youknowit19 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:17:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes?
ahampster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:26:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this is too real
Kendo16 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:34:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is your name a reference to the rapper?
Rex_Yourcheeks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:42:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a bull cut all my youth i feels
Storytellerbobfan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shit.
bigdickpuncher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:31:36 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I liked you because of the username, I fell in love because of the haircut.
CrimsonSaint150 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:26:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dam Son
Califer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:08:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For the longest time I thought it was a tough hair cut because I heard it as "Bull" cut. It wasn't until someone asked if my mom actually put a bowl on my head to cut it like that that it clicked.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can get a bull cut if you'd like, but your wife's son would have to watch.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:53:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Asian here. Had the Asian bowl cut. Fuck that shit, it's universally hated.
Breadpugs ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:02:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, the worst lie my mom told me was, "I'm only going to trim it 2 inches." And then cut off 6inches of my hair. My trust in my mother died that day. The worst part was she saw the hair on the ground and was still saying "that's 2 inches!" While I was crying and screaming with the locks in my hand.
FizzleMateriel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then they wonder why teenagers prefer long hair.
BZLuck ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:54:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bangs. I was a little boy with bangs, and the rest of my hair was just above shoulder level. I looked like "Cousin It" with a window cut away for my face.
One time in the grocery with my brother, a woman came up and said, "Oh what beautiful little girls you have!"
XenuLies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:37:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
John Mulaney?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:52:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ohh, you must be new in town.
Quick, tell me three things about you that I didn't already know!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:24:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You mean The Moe (`80s Warning)?
entendretimestwo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:35:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a right of passage.
eleanorswearengen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank God my mother went to cosmetology school
DB1Kenobi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank god my mother went to cosmology school.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We know, she's insistent we give her facials.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She bought a Flowbee at a garage sale.
prismaticbeans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a girl who isn't Asian and my mom gave me that haircut. To this day she insists it was adorable.
imatoiletbowl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh god...
DeathbyPun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My korean mother has a certified hair stylist for 12 years and she STILL gives me the Asian bowl cut.
sethescope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's "The Little Dutch Boy" if you're white. And blonde. And a boy.
Jager-Junkie ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:06:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom's don't have to be asian
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:10:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:57:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, at least you got the trimmer before the dog. Had enough hair pulled out as a kid it's no wonder it's disappearing.
Niquarl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait..What? Your parents just pulled your hair out ?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure it was unintentional.
Niquarl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh.. Though still. That's kinda fuck up.
Joetato ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:11:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother was a hair dresser at one point in her life, so I at least looked acceptable when she cut my hair (which she did until I was 14)
OhioMegi ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:33:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother cut my bangs once. As well as both of my eyelids.
creditcardpie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:20:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just hissed air through my teeth fucking ouch
OhioMegi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:59:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still have faint scar on my left lid, 30 years later. She hit that one first, and then promised she'd be careful and not hit the other one because my bangs needed to be even. I'll bring it up now and then, and she still feels bad
halvedticket ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:06:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ironically, my mums an ex-hairdresser. I tell people shes gonna cut my hair for laughs. The /horror/.
deedlede2222 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:19:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom still gives great haircuts, if I'm not doing it myself
ActualButt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:48:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man. This.
One time she bought clippers and started in the back of my head. All I hear from behind me is: BZZZZT! ......."whoops"
Imperator_Knoedel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:54:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But I like your hairstyle, Karl. :(
Agoonga ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:12:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haircuts from my mom were mullets with bald spots
wtbnewsoul ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:49:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A mums "great job" of a haircut is the pedo repellent she used.
lucidlogik ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:07:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you have this backward?
Zombiecidialfreak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:16:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother worked as a hair stylist for several years. She actually knows what she's doing when she cuts my hair.
Reoh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:35:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dad clipped my ear, blood everywhere.
Never had to get a home-cut again.
ivegotaqueso ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:46:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid I started growing my hair out just so I could avoid my mom's haircuts.
PseudoEngel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I take an even cut all around. She missed a hair here and there, but I love her haircuts anyway.
Niquarl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:13:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you get to grow your beard as much as Mr. Marx though ?
lfg472 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I cut my three year olds hair one time using the buzz cutters for the first time.. It looked horrendous and he kept asking me while I was trying to fix it "do I look handsome now mommy, am I handsome mommy?" "Yeah buddy.. You look awesome" I died a little inside
gromit190 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:39:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What? She's lying about how she did a great job cutting your hair?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:05:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Another victim of the flowbee
SeanTheTranslator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:48:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love your username.
Flippy32 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:02:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got home perms and I didn't even want curly hair...oh, the horror, the horror!
PM_UR_CROSS-STITCHES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is an actual hairdresser.
Where does that leave me?
Mitch2025 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:24:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same. She even owns her own salon.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
After gears of dealing with the same shitty haircut from my mother (who said she use to do that professionally) I finally got a real haircut. Confidence has improved dramatically.
stinkpicklez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That she loved me
KestrelLowing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man... I've just started cutting my husband's hair because he hates going to get it cut. And... well in all honestly it's the same quality as he got at boricks or something, but yeah. It's not exactly the best looking haircut in the world.
TheShawnP ยท 1416 points ยท Posted at 15:52:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't know, ask your father." Which was usually followed up by dad saying, "What did your mother say?"
The constant deflection had me figuring out a lot of things on my own.
delorean225 ยท 804 points ยท Posted at 17:25:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I usually went with "2 ask-the-others equals 1 yes."
BEEF_WIENERS ยท 158 points ยท Posted at 19:50:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, it seems like kind of a solid argument. If either was going to say no then they would have just said that.
delorean225 ยท 164 points ยท Posted at 19:59:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. It implies "I'm okay with it, but check with the other in case they have an objection."
var_mingledTrash ยท 174 points ยท Posted at 23:18:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
yep, a lot of amateur parent manipulators on here. What i learned to do was this:
me: mom, can i do X.
mom: go ask your dad.
me: dad, mom says i can do X if its ok with you.
dad: ok.
then after they catch on to that game i switch to:
me: mom, dad says if its ok with you i can do X.
mom: well if your dad said you can then its ok.
me: dad, mom says if its ok with you i can do X.
dad: will if your mom said its ok you can do it.
edit: missed a line break.
imdungrowinup ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 09:56:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My youngest sister seemed to think as long as someone older than her approved, it's ok and this included me and our middle sister. Also she makes sure to tell her plans in parts to every family member. So unless we have a family meeting about it, we would never know the whole plan.
phthedude ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:57:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Master schemer right there
Kokiomot ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:47:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Rae Spellman?
imdungrowinup ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:02:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know who that is.
Kokiomot ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:41:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She's a character from the Spellman Files who would pull stuff just like that.
thouhathpuncake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:42:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's genius. Both of them are agreeing, so it won't even get you into trouble.
Empathisse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
any more tips?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:14:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Empathisse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:07 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I'm sorry to hear that! hopefully everything's better now
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 22:54:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BEEF_WIENERS ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 22:58:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is when the parents need to learn the lesson the fun way. They both say "ask the other" and you take that as tacit approval, then when you get hurt or something they realize "hey, maybe we should fucking grow a pair and not be goddamn cowards who can't tell our kid not to do stupid shit."
CyberNinjaZero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:18:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But it's not like their parents or something gahwd
ayraei ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:23:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I got the feeling it was more that neither parent wanted to explicitly say no and was hoping the other would do it for them. Then I'd take it as "two not-no's means yes," go do the thing and they'd be disappointed...
Creath ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:49:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Spotted the logician.
moal09 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:24:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Easier to ask for forgiveness later than confirm permission now.
You can always just say that they didn't specifically say no.
kashiruvana ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:09:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a mom, that sounds fair to me.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:32:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SHIT
towonder-doidare ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:04:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then quietly watch from the back as the perants fight over why the other would ever allow such thing
dankthewank ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:58:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You, I like you.
Ubername_ ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:59:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then "HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT WTF MEANS?!?" .. You said you weren't gonna tell me so I asked some friends online. *grounded for a month"
loljetfuel ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:40:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe I'm just old, but this makes total sense to me; I don't want to counter something my wife told the kids, so I will always ask the kids if they already talked to her and what was said.
If they say "she said to ask you", then I know I can just make a decision without stepping on her toes. It avoids the kids playing us off each other.
Bartweiss ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:40:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The adult equivalent of a kid going "but mom said I could!"
CorvoKaldwin ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:04:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happens to me, so I go talk to my mom again. She then says they will talk about it together. They either never talk or wait a week, and by then I can't do what I wanted to.
kittypuppet ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:45:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"she told me to ask you"
And then he'd make the decision.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:15:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I will say "ask your mother" when I don't really have a preference one way or the other but think there might be a chance that my wife will. My wife and I have an informal veto system set up.
For example:
Butthead: "can I open this other bag of chips?"
Me: "ummm, I dunno, ask mom". What I am really thinking is "I don't give a fuck if you do or not, but the wife might be saving those chips for later, or not want you eating so much junk, or some other thing".
Alternatively, if one of the kids asks permission to do something and either my wife or I say yes, and than the other says no, the final answer usually defaults to the no.
FoxyBastard ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:58:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always just worked the system.
"Mom. Can I go over to Keith's house?"
"Ask your father."
~goes to find dad~
"Dad. Can I go over to Keith's house?"
"Ask your mother."
"I did. she just wanted to make sure it's OK with you."
"Well if it's OK with her it's OK with me."
"Thanks. See ya."
Protip: Always ask when they're doing something that they don't want help with.
If mom's cleaning. Avoid her like the plague.
If she's doing a crossword. Go for it.
If dad's doing yard work. Plague again.
If he's working on the car. It's all good.
Themaline ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:15:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the car thing wouldn't work for me, my dad had a broken jack that wouldn't go up very high so he needed me to crawl under there to do certain things because I was smaller, or use my smaller arms to check and see if certain fans or belts were spinning or not while he revved it.
dkeeper09 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:58:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do this with my kids, because the second I say "yes" and later find out their mother said "no", i'm in trouble. not them. Oldest is 4 and he quickly figured out the "ask the other parent game"
Hyperman360 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:55:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no, we're not playing "Good Cop, Mom".
arcanascu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did that exactly one growing up. Mom said no, asked again and Dad said yes so I went ahead and did it. Got caught and was punished pretty hard for lying / being manipulative.
StringNecklaces ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:37:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Makes me angry just reading it
Maudesquad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:48:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh we do this with my two year old, but it's typically just about what/if she can have a snack. I genuinely don't feel like making a decision sometimes, but I guess I should quit the deflecting.
notalchemists ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:41:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The deflection just ended with me not doing anything.
drkn8t ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:25:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you and your pesky questions...go figure it out yourself!
failingtolurk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:09:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The constant deflection had me figuring out a lot of things on my own.
Tada!
tableman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:18:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm failing to see the lie in this scenario.
TheShawnP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Lie is that mothers "know." A 7 year old isn't going to throw a curve ball at you in the needs of their everyday life.
tableman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How else are they supposed to learn to see through curve balls, if not from their parents who presumably love them?
Kbost92 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:55:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"What did your mother say?" "She said as long as you're ok with it she is." "Well in that case go ahead."
frossenkjerte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hi Calvin!
stalactose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a parent I can say: Fucking mission accomplished.
airborngrmp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Figuring things out on your own is a skill I'm purposely teaching my boys.
carpet111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: ca- Mom: I dont know ask your father Me: ca- Dad: no
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once told my dad that my mom approved and then my dad bought the toy I was asking for. Then I told my mom that my dad said yes and they were both happy for the time being. I the, like a dumbass, told them the truth and then they stopped doing this. Now I'm happy :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:10:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad was way more chill than my mother and usually said yes to all sorts of crazy shit. Probably because he did similarly crazy shit when he was a kid, as long as I wasn't annoying anyone it was all good.
DarksteelPenguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:04:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Never had that. Instead, I've had my dad say A, my mom say B, and I'm fucked whatever I do.
the_rabid_beaver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:28:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Two unknowns make a resounding YES!
Grimsterr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
2 maybes = 1 yes, this is kid math.
RoShamBoU4It ยท 11089 points ยท Posted at 13:37:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe
house_autumn ยท 2752 points ยท Posted at 16:17:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll see" always means "no".
Like when I say "maybe" to a Facebook invite, I always mean "no".
RainyRat ยท 4625 points ยท Posted at 17:39:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's how Facebook invites work, though:
Yes = Maybe
Maybe = No
No = Fuck you and your family
[deleted] ยท 495 points ยท Posted at 18:45:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I reserve this for the invites to the pyramid scheme "parties"
thesuper88 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 19:10:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup! Only time I immediately decline. I won't ever go to one. I don't care who you are. Don't fucking invite me to that shit.
NerimaJoe ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:23:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
That's when I unfriend people. I'm stricter than you are. Because if there's a "party" invite it will be followed up within a week or so by spam status update after spam status update for Amway or Herbalife or Oriflame or NuSkin or whatthefuck.
thesuper88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:35:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well it depends on how many people you keep on your friends list. I am pretty strict about who's on it in the first place. I have had to do that for a few people but it's usually a friend that I respect making a (subjectively) bone headed decision to try and make a couple bucks. But I have had the friends that were only on FB to try and sell their crap and they've been unfriended for sure.
TL;DR - I like your style.
11bulletcatcher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:40:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother did that to me, a surprise pyramid scheme party. I made his whole group question what they were doing and told their leader over Skype how much of a scumbag he was before ditching my bro there.
intoxbodmansvs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:32:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What are those?
ConcernedGrape ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:54:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It Works! parties and Pampered Chef parties and shit
intoxbodmansvs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:20:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Still no clue sorry.
I'm from the Netherlands and never heard of those things.
LiquidSilver ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:27:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really? We have a few of them in NL too. Tupperware parties doesn't ring a bell? They're not exactly common, but I know a few middle-aged women who invite their friends over for a night of them trying to sell large amounts of useless crap. Can't really buy a single thing either, you always need to buy way too much and then sell the surplus to your own friends. It always ends up in broken dreams and ruined friendships and a bunch of unmarketable shit buried in their backyards.
intoxbodmansvs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:35:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds familiar, but I've never had that in my life.
Thanks
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 22:06:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This explains it a little. Pyramid schemes, or multi level marketing or MLM are when a parent company cons average people into becoming "consultants". Ordinary people, who are not employed by the company and don't get paid a wage, have to buy up front a bunch of products and try to sell it, and enlist more people under them, thus forming the pyramid. It's very popular in the US right now, especially with stay at home moms. Middle aged, bored women get on social media and badger their friends and family to buy their worthless, overpriced shit and throw these "parties" that are basically a presentation and sales pitch. If you get roped into going, you'll have to buy something or risk looking rude, and then you'll get invited over and over. And at some point they will try to get you go sell for them. It's extremely annoying, and more importantly, it is a scam. The people who buy into it almost never make money and end up with tons of product they don't need that they paid for. It's a very good way to lose hundreds of dollars and isolate you from your social group, yet TONS of people fall for it.
Nyrb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And for extra awkwardness, sex toy parties.
But not in the good way.
UnpurePurist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:25:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reverse-funnel system*
house_autumn ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 17:54:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much. There are some events I get invited to and immediately think "ugh no" but I can't decline as soon as I get it because it feels rude.
[deleted] ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 18:30:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You wait 3 hours, and then post a status about how you need a root canal the day of the event. Then you can say "no". If it's a daytime event they assume you're at the dentist and if it's a nighttime event they will think you're in pain and just laying In bed. When in reality you're playing pool with a cute blonde girl and her cousin from Arizona, while you drink too many pitchers of blue moon and have to take uber home because both you and your buddy are too drunk to drive. Then you gotta take another uber the next day to get your car.
Garmose ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 19:34:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can only get so many root canals.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:12:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just stop brushing your teeth. Not only will you need root canal after root canal, but eventually you'll stop getting invited anyway because your breath will smell like rotting teeth. It's win/win.
Iorith ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:39:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or you get them all removed and get dentures, which are surprisingly awesome.
Darth-Pimpin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But then you have no excuse?
House_Badger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
26?
FinancialAdvice4Me ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 18:46:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"LOL, Joe and his weekly root canal!! Crazy guy! Must be British!"
ReCursing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck no, that shit's expensive! Dentistry's only partially coverd on the NHS!
InVultusSolis ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 18:41:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or you just decline and say "No, I have other shit to do"
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 18:58:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But then they stop inviting you
LiquidSilver ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:22:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't that the goal?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not really. I don't like going to every party or whatever is happening. If you tell people that you don't feel like going to their shindig they will get offended and stop inviting you altogether. That doesn't mean I won't go to the next one I'm invited to. Just pick and choosing. Some people get easily offended so you got to walk on eggshells.
ellisdroid ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:04:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then you should consider getting better friends.
thesuper88 ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 19:09:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or go to the shit your friends care about every once in a while.
HMJ87 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:12:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pfft fuck that it's all miles away and I'm lazy
teapotbehindthesun ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:14:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then it shouldn't matter to you if they never invite you again
InVultusSolis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:58:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But then he doesn't get the validation of being invited.
teapotbehindthesun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:12:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One might make the argument that ol' HMJ87 doesn't seem to care about or need the validation.
InVultusSolis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He doesn't seem to be the one who wants to be invited, but would rather not be invited so he doesn't have to end up saying "I don't want to come because it's too far."
house_autumn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:14:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I see you've done this before.
LiquidSilver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Laying in bed, shitposting on the internet, wallowing in self-pity. Luckily this isn't a problem for me, because I never get invited for anything anyway.
bricked3ds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah the good ol Bilbo Taggins
BotImJustARobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I see you've done this before. ;-)
FireEagleSix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds oddly specific, happen to you before?
slvrbullet87 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:54:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get why some people send invites to people they know will not come. I can't come to happy hour 2 hours away on a Wednesday night, don't ask me to.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:08:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously. I still get invited to shit in Illinois, and I moved across the country a year and a half ago. No, Abby, I can't come to your beach party and you know it.
metastasis_d ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:00:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I miss the days when you clicked 'no' and it automatically brought you to a textbox with the prompt "Say why you can't go."
I always had a bunch of my high school friends invite me to shit when I live several states away no, so I'd write "I live in Missouri" as the reason. Then sometimes they'd get whiny about it, and I'd delete them.
sexygirl420 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:20:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats the way to go.
metastasis_d ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:24:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep.
Most of the time it'd elicit a "Oh I forgot you moved away, what are you up to these days" and I'd remember why I like having a Facebook, since it seems most people don't deal with regular email. But sometimes people would take it as a personal slight, like I was supposed to just click 'maybe' and play pretend.
murphylaw ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:45:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've resorted to texting people a day or two before. Facebook is the general notification but one on one helps ensure attendance
Lady_Anarchy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:06:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that made me laugh.
EverySpaceIsUsedHere ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:20:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or no=some family members
mrpodo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh so that's why no one comes to my birthday parties
ZincCadmium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For me Maybe means, "Probably not but I still want to be reminded about it just in case nothing better comes up.
geebook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this made my day
tocitus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe and No are the same thing for me but No is reserved for when I actually have a legit excuse.
ChaseRandom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly
Hipp013 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then what does the "Fuck you and your family" button mean?
rg44_at_the_office ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit, I've been using no this whole time. I always thought I was being polite by giving an actual, straight forward answer, but apparently I've been a horrible jerk.
Osbios ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, that is just like ebay ratings!
amd2800barton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well fuck. I just said "NO" to a friend's bachelor party. They only sent the invite for THIS coming weekend on Sunday. I need more than 6 days notice to make a 4 hour trip, and was already coming back home from another trip that day. I at least marked "No", then posted in the event WHY I was unable to go.
upupvote2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just got invited to an ex's bday and this is surprisingly accurate.
musty_book_aroma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am I throwing people off then by using Yes for Yes, Maybe for Maybe and No for No?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:23:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No is actually can't make it
Maybe is I don't want to come
MoldyCat ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:30:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always put maybe because most events are weeks away i really dont know if i will make it. I dont want to say yes and then something (better) comes up.
house_autumn ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:55:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I tend to get anxious before big gatherings, so "maybe" usually means "if I feel like it on the day".
tarrasque ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:31:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife has told me that with her dad, 'maybe' meant 'no', but 'we'll see' meant 'yes'.
house_autumn ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:54:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think he's the exception to the rule. My dad would always say "ask your mother".
Reallyhotshowers ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:01:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Ask your mother."
Translation: I really can't handle parenting right now, kid. Ask your other parent to do the adulting.
"I did, she told me to ask you. . ."
Well, shit.
thesuper88 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:12:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought it was,
"Well I don't give a shit, but your mom usually does and it's my ass if I'm wrong so you'd better ask her. I can't ask her myself or I will look like a dipshit."
Or really. I always thought it could be either of these.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:32:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh the classic, where you have find a way to get them into the same room and talk about it in front of you
SkyWest1218 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:38:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The one time I did that she said yes to getting the third cat.
My dad never said that again.
house_autumn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:17:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a shame, think of all the cats you could have had.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:13:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
With my mom "we'll see" meant I was one tantrum away from a yes.
thesuper88 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:14:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember my brother pulling this stuff. I could politely ask for something for two weeks and get nowhere. My brother would ask for the same thing and be unbearable for an hour and guess who gets to pick a movie to rent tonight...
So we nick-named him cryin'-Ryan.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:06:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ironically when's dads say maybe it always means yes
huzaifa96 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:48:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It has been my experience... ..that my dad was always working out the logistics in his head.
Whereas my mom was just being political.
TheWeavr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:55:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a second grade teacher...I have realized that I say "we'll see" a lot more than I like to admit.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:14:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
anarchyisutopia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I say it all the time too, mainly as a way to stay honest with my kids. I always tell them "If I say yes then I will make it happen, if I say maybe or 'we'll see' then there's a chance it won't happen but I don't wanna lie and tell you it will."
PM_ME_YOUR_BOOK_IDEA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:40:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me of a book I read a long time ago that I can't remember the name of. The protagonist was talking about how to know what your parents mean and he said "maybe means yes, and we'll see means no" it definitely holds true for my parents.
In the same book, he walks in on his dad eating something that smelled weird. His dad offered him some, and he dropped some wisdom saying something like, when offered strange food, always say no before you ask "what is it?" because when you ask that, they always make you try it. But if you say no first, they don't bother. I use that advice all the time.
skizmcniz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, that's my mom. "Yes" or "I guess" meant yes. "Maybe" or "we'll see" meant no.
That was the first thing that popped into my head. We'll see is my mom's thing. Everything was always "we'll see" and I learned very fast that it meant "no" and it always pissed me off.
Azusanga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a polite no. A no on Facebook is basically saying "so who the fuck are you and why the fuck are you inviting me".
house_autumn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I get those too! People I went to school with who live 200 miles away will invite me to their housewarming or whatever.
uberfission ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just answer no, don't leave it dangling. Maybe isn't a polite form of no, you're being a dick to your friends.
house_autumn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't do it for small gatherings, but for people who invite the entire office to payday drinks or who invite their whole friends list to an event. If I genuinely think "hell yes, I want to go", it's an instant yes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
eh, I actually use "maybe" as maybe on facebook. Like I legit wanna go, but based on circumstances when it gets closer to the day, I can make a decision.
Same thing with my friends. When I've made events/parties at my place, and they click maybe, usually they end up changing it to a yes or no closer to the date. Usually to a yes.
Tech workers, we have unpredictable lives sometimes.
house_autumn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I work shifts so sometimes it's a matter of whether I actually can go. If you've all been in the pub since 5 and I finish at 9, then nope - netflix and pyjamas it is.
quior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes "we'll see" actually means they had planned to surprise you with that thing and are trying to throw you off the trail.
FierceDeity_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did we go all the way to being Japanese now? They also have no real way of saying no to people
house_autumn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm British, so almost.
fritzbitz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It seems to me that maybe pretty much always means no.
Paranitis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom went up to Oregon (from California) years ago to visit family. I said "While you are there, buy a Wii and Beatles' Rock Band. Oh, and a new TV or something!" She said "We'll see". Came back with all of it.
So "We'll see" is just a "maybe". A mom comment outside of yes or no is a maybe.
techiesgoboom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of the reasons why I love meetup.com. There are exactly two responses you can give: yes and no. It makes planning events (and especially board games with limited seats) so much simpler.
NICKisICE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To me, "maybe" means "I want to but I doubt it's realistic".
whatsername25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually that was the opposite for me. "We'll see" meant yes :-)
bojackwhoreman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll look into it."
Incessantlyamused ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd always smirk the fuck up like, "thaaaaat doeeeessssnnntt meeeeeaaan noooo" haha so wrong
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really in my friend group, there are a few types of maybe's. The first being I actually don't know yet so maybe. The second, I am not going but don't want to say no. The final one and probably the most common is I'm obviously going but saying maybe is funnier than saying yes.
goodwarrior12345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:36 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When my parents say "maybe" and "we'll see" it's almost always a "yes if you behave and listen". My parents are awesome :D
PeanutButter707 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my family, maybe usually means "yes" if it's something bad
Luckrider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:51:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Based on the comments I am convince that I am the only person with the following RSVP translation:
Yes: I'm super fuckin' excited and there's no way I'm not going. Maybe: 1. I really want to go but I'm not sure I'll be free 2. I'd be down for going, but only if convenient.
No: I have prior commitments and regrettably can't make it :(
No Response At All: Fuck that shit. I don't want to go.
Kewlrobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my house maybe usually means yes actually, and even no sometimes means yes anyway after some nagging
VoliGunner ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:51:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The things you learn from your parents, Huh?
Irememberedmypw ยท 5349 points ยท Posted at 15:12:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
The longest alternative spelling of no in English.
Edit: My plan has worked. Those whose mothers replied to them with "negative" stay where you are. The Anti-Replicant force is on its way. You will be fined 2k credits for habouring such and sent for rehabilitation classes.
Shardik884 ยท 2033 points ยท Posted at 15:34:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe is: "Shut up now, No later"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:56:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: Maybe means no. Mom: Then there's your answer.
kennyl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:18:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
IT'S A EUPHEMISM
DoctorJohannesFaust ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:28:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
its a euthanasia of your dreams
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also true
katieya ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 16:06:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
negative
BionicCanady ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:21:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Negatory
_Bones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ghostrider
AkirIkasu ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:49:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"perhaps"
odenoden ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:09:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"negative"
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:46:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:21:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When my mom said no it's because it was no. When she said maybe or we'll see it was actually "if you can convince me"
Drachefly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:51:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So she actually used the denotative meanings of the words? Shocking!
2boredtocare ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:37:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, it's: "I'll think about it."
cefriano ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:49:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll see" is a bit longer.
WolfySpice ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:11:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, I must be lucky. 'Maybe' always meant 'yes', because my mother always just said no when she meant no.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:24:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At my house it meant "Yes as long as you don't keep talking about it."
Hyperpoly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:35:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No way Jose?
iamnotsurewhattoname ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:35:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Let me think about it"
particlemaniac ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:39:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What about "negative"?
aleccraine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:45:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
negative
PM_ME_ALL_THE_TITTIE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:56:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Negative is longer.
GiantR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:16:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll think about it.
GuruRoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:24:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Negative" is a longer alternative spelling of "no" than "maybe."
AtilKinDH ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:38:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting. Maybe always meant "Probably yes." from my Mum.
SparklesM8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:34:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
and yet, it always meant yes when it came from my dad
Synux ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:35:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What about "We'll see"?
GrayOctopus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:17:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nooooooooo
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really? For me, "maybe" meant "yes" more often than not. It was when the "we'll see" came out that I knew whatever I wanted wasn't gonna happen
Zerotan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:25:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/34no2HhOVGQ?t=39s
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:16:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
adudeguyman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:05:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:46:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bastard.
adudeguyman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:46:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sore loser
Thecactigod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
adudeguyman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:05:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE
WardenUnleashed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think Darth Vader beat you to it though.
Rockhardabs1104 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:08:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
negative?
Mistersquiggles1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
negative?
QuinnTheQueen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not only English ;(
Be_The_End ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:46:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What about "Negative"?
beregond23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:11:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
negative?
CherryWolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. The longest is "we'll see".
MN_abomb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
noperooski
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Negative.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Negative
TheInsaneDane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Negative
0OKM9IJN8UHB7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, that would be "I'll think about it".
InhumanThree1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my family it usually means yes, but with a tinge of mystery.
N8CCRG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Negative.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Possibly not
exorcerer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Republican
Dukmiester ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Possibly.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL So true. I forget what I wanted but I asked mom for it and she dropped the "maybe", so I pouted and said "FINE! That just means 'No'" and mom laid I think the best guilt trip ever. She goes "Maybe means maybe, I don't want to say yes because that means I'm making you promise and I never want to promise my kids something unless I can deliver."
Well played ma, well played.
EliteCorps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Negative, negatory? Or even "impossible"..
physalisx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Naaaaaay
back_to_the_homeland ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you as a friend"
r361k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How about potentially?
billndotnet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'Possibly.'
Indie_uk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See maybe means yes to me. Like when gf asks can we... i say maybe
LOHare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How about 'disinclined to acquiesce to your request'?
bhaskardatta ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:33:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We'll see.
Leaving it for discussion at a later point.
The thing is that that later point doesn't ever arrive
Plott ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:49:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe always meant yes and we'll see was always no
WafflesTheDuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was the opposite in my family. I loved scoring a "we'll see" .
Other_World ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's how it was with my mom. My sister and I knew if she said maybe it meant whatever we asked for was happening. It was as good as a yes 99% of the time. But it meant it was going to be a surprise gift for a holiday or birthday.
SneakyLeprechaun ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:46:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Until I was about four I thought "maybe" literally meant the same thing as "no". My mom had to explain the difference to me.
foxyphotographer ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 16:39:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This conversation happens very often in my home.
Spawn: Can I go play with my friend?
Me: Maybe
Spawn: Is that a Yes Maybe or a No Maybe or an I don't know Maybe?
Me: .... It's a no.
Spawn is very smart.
altxatu ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:39:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why not just say "no?"
lsguk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because that's not how tye world works.
altxatu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:56:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:02:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Zed
delmar42 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:45:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure if my mother ever realized that "maybe" always led to a LOT more begging and whining, trying to turn the "maybe" into a "yes".
djramzy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:06:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you're Arab, it's "inshallah" meaning god willing... Also means no in mom-talk.
I_hate_Dan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:25:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or my favorite alternatives: "We'll see" or "I'll think about it"
youlleatitandlikeit ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:59:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Will we be able to do xyz?"
"We'll see."
Oh, look. Turned out no, we weren't.
pooperloopertrooper ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:06:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's interesting, when I was growing up I knew if I could get my mom to a maybe, it was almost as good as a yes. My mom never had a problem telling me no. "Maybe" usually had an 85% chance at a yes and by freshman year of high school if I heard maybe I just went ahead and did whatever it was I had asked if I could do.
SubterraneanAlien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is generally a sign of having good parents.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:24:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
mine was "we'll see"
ademnus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:54:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom's version was "we'll see" which all of us agreed meant "forget it, kid."
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:22:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
-Mom, when you say maybe, are you just really saying no without having to say no?
-Maybe...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:51:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If youre arabic its "inshallah" or god willing or yeah right
adudeguyman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:13:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That isn't really a lie because it is not a definite no.
RoShamBoU4It ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:28:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lawyer or future lawyer?
adudeguyman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:34:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
parent
chucka6670 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We'll see...
MoldyCat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When did you start using it as a "yes"? That was when my patents had to say yes/no.
droppin_NBOMEs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:21:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go
Rhodie114 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you'll think of me, when you are all alone
Malurth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funny, "maybe" from my mom nearly always meant "yes." Guess I just had a cooler mom than y'all.
Equippedchart49 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:25:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno. Maybe always meant "yes, but not right now" with my mom. No definitely meant no, though.
Side note - me and my siblings were definitely manipulative assholes.
gopms ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:32:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"we'll see!"
gopms ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:32:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"we'll see!"
Ramza_Claus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:42:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It seems to me that "maybe" pretty much always means "no".
mrsuns10 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:43:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your gonna be the one to save me
Moglorosh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:47:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always said "we'll see". Well no, we won't see. We never fucking see mom. Just say no so I can be mad about it now and get it over with ffs.
song_pond ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:56:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When asking my mom for things, maybe meant no, and yes meant maybe (and if you talked about it a lot, it was probably no). We learned to start asking dad.
antwan_benjamin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:00:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"maybe", "we'll see", "i'm not making any promises", and "we'll cross that bridge when we get to it" and "let me think about it" are all just different ways for my mom to tell me no.
ssiegel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am mother. Can confirm
thesuper88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:07:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just experienced this with my daughter (am dad, though). My daughter will be two and a half at the end of September.
She asked for cereal right before dinner. I told her no. She starts being dramatic and fake crying as she's known to do. She keeps asking over and over.
I calm her down and say Maybe after dinner if she's a good listener. She starts up again and I cut it off. I ask her, "Are you sad?" "Yeah... " " Why are you sad? " " Cause 'Maybe' " " Oh? And what does maybe mean? " " Maybe is 'NO', " bawls
I get a dad achievement and level up. She forgot she even wanted it by dinner time.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:11:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny, with my mother "maybe" = yes if you do something I want you to and "I don't know" = maybe.
BramMW ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:13:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funny, maybe always meant yes with my mom. If it really wasn't going to happen she would straight up say no.
deadstump ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:21:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not a mom, but a dad. I have defaulted to "no" as my automatic answer to give me time to think and to avoid having to change my mind to a negitive.
Kid: Dad can I....
Me: No. What do you want?
Kid: Can I go to Bobby's house?
Me: Well I guess so.
Also cuts down on the kids shopping around between mom and me since I am just going to tell them no, so they can't come to me to get past the keeper.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:22:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every party invite was a rollercoaster of emotions for me as a kid.
"Please please please please can I go to so-and-so's birthday party in two weeks?"
"We'll see."
A week later
"So-and-so says she really wants to know if I can go to the party or not, because it's at the ice rink and they need to know how many-"
"I already told you we'll see! Stop bugging me about it and give me some time to think!"
Six days later
"The birthday party is tomorrow. Can I go or no?"
"I already told you I need to think about it! You need to learn some patience! Pester me about it one more time and the answer is going to be no!"
One day later
"So-and-so texted and asked if I'm coming to the party today."
"Well, you should have reminded me earlier! We aren't RSVPing at the last minute; it's just rude! There isn't even time to pick out a present now! You need to stop leaving things until the last minute like this!"
One hour later
"HenryVIIISucks, why aren't you dressed? Isn't the party in an hour? Hurry up and get ready so we can get a present! Honestly, you need to start thinking ahead about these things."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:38:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ohnohnohno
Our dad was the one who used that. Unfortunately his "maybe" meant "I will eventually give in" so many times that the rare times it meant "no" my sister and I would whine "but you proomiiiiseeeed".
It's a family joke at this point. My poor dad. He's the most indulgent father ever, but it was his own downfall.
jasminalea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:49:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe yes or maybe no?"
IllyriaGodKing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:03:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe, we'll see, and I'll think about it always meant no. I remember recently saying this to my mom recently that we always knew when she said one of those phrases, it always meant no. She was genuinely surprised at that and said that when she said she would think about it, she actually meant it. I said, "Well, it always turned out to be no, anyway."
Its_Joke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:13:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also, "I'll think about it"
Jetjl412 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:13:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It seems to me that maybe pretty much always means no.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:15:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Starting at 3 years old my daughter said, "Just say yes. Saying maybe or no is stupid."
samfringo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:22:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No "I'll think about it" It's impossible to argue with that
lenovo789 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:29:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
AWWWWWWW I just posted that response too you literally made me snort with laughter damn.... UPVOTE!!!!
SirThang ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:32:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I trained my mother at an early age that maybe means yes.
SmallChildArsonist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I will never commit to anything with my kids. The pizza could be on it's way to my house, and I still won't tell them we're having pizza for dinner. "We'll see" is probably what I say to my kids the most.
It's a defense mechanism, cause my wife does the opposite. She promises them things that are only slightly probable. And then we have to deal with the kids being upset later when it can't happen. So I go polar opposite. I'm still supportive and whatnot, I still pull through a large majority of the time, but I swear to God, I'm probably gonna put "We'll see" on my kids' wedding invitation RSVP.
sum_buddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I use "we'll see" everyday. We still haven't seen yet.
HeyThereSport ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got in a regrettable habit of telling my girlfriend "maybe" as a thoughtless default response to her asking me if I wanted to do something with her or for her. She caught on and called me out on it saying that apparently my "maybe" just means "no."
To me I think it means more than no. It's more like "I normally wouldn't do it, but I haven't really considered it completely. You might be able to convince me to do it."
I still feel shitty about it.
Wulfcookies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really hate this one. Because yes and no is definite most of the time. But "maybe" comes out to "it's not too irrational for me to say yes but since _____ I'm going to delay it until _____ forgets."
angelzfromhell972 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude that's not just for mothers. That's for girls in general brah....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I say maybe it means I'll think about it and if I don't want to strangle you in the next ten minutes we might do it.
DodoDude700 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Surprisingly, my mom is able to say no when the answer is no. Maybe almost always means she's not sure.
silphred43 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're gonna be the one that saves me.
nat_rdh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I tell my child "maybe" it pretty much means I don't have the brain capacity to think about what you are asking, so give me a few minutes. But majority of the time it means no.
NIL8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
perfect answer
Frick_is_a_word ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My kids know from the Jack Johnson song that "maybe" pretty much always means "no".
PM_ME_CHUBBY_GALS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your moms were strict. When my mom said maybe I knew I could bug her enough to get a yes.
RawMeatyBones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For me the difference is:
If you want a Yes or No answer right now, then it's "NO". Or take the "Maybe/we'll see", which most likely will be a "No" either way, but there's a chance I change my mind later.
(And that's what I tell my kids when they complain about the maybe).
HITNRUNXX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Negative.
crazycatguy23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid, maybe always meant no, I'll think about it meant I haven't thought up the reason to say no to you yet, and we'll see legitimately meant maybe.
Jallorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As an Uncle I use, "Maybe," to mean, "I really don't want to, so not right now, but if I say that you'll bug me and then it really will be no, never today, and then no one gets to have a good day."
cant_be_me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe = I'll think about it, but probably not
Or "for whatever reason I don't feel like saying no right now, so here's a tiny bit of false hope that will make the eventual NO just that much more disappointing"
Or "i'm not sure yet and I'm leaning towards no, but go clean something in the kitchen, maybe you can convince me to change my mind"
wearwolfnotswearwolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom would say "I'll think about it" and that was the only time I'd hear her use this exact phrase. (in rus) dream crasher.
matjoeh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
pretty much every woman that says this actually means no.
Vocitate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually.... "Go ask your father."
FireEagleSix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For my mom, a maybe usually meant yes, somehow. I think she had to just spend some time thinking about it and justifying to herself buying me that toy or taking me to that park or whatever it was. She did every thing she could for me. Sometimes, I miss being a kid. Being an adult can be scary.
miss_cupcake13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a possibility = not happening
JixxyJexxy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My oldest told my middle son, she said we'll see that means we have to be good if we're gonna go, so be quiet already!
jackandjill22 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:50:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
L m a o
WelshmanJones ยท 5932 points ยท Posted at 15:05:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can have X when you're Y years-old."
A lie, because in a few short months later your younger sibling will have the same thing.
nimphette ยท 1811 points ยท Posted at 16:41:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Super annoying when you can't have thing X until you're Y years old but your younger get sibling also gets thing X when you're Y years old even if they're the age you were when you asked for thing thing in the first place.
Edit: What I learned from the replies to this is that if I have kids either only have one so there's no one for them to be bitter towards or just stick to my guns and have some fucking consistency with my rules. You know, like parents should but often don't out of (what most often seems like) sheer laziness by the time the other kids come along.
delorean225 ยท 1023 points ยท Posted at 17:22:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the thing about having more than one kid. The first one will by far have the strictest age rules and stuff, and the youngest will be doing things much beyond their age.
MrsMeredith ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 20:05:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Getting my ears pierced was like this. Started at 16, I talked my parents down to 14, sister 1 managed 13, sister 2 did hers at 12, and sister 3 got hers done at 10.
BattleStag17 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:00:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did your brother get his ears done at age 5?
motonaut ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 22:05:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sister 4 had gauges in the womb.
AlienBirdman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I knew she was going to be the problem child.
Why can't you be more like your sister. She's 15 and already being an adult with 1 child.
MrsMeredith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:00:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, he thinks piercings are gross so he hasn't got anything done as far as I know.
takethescrew ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:07:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You were the Guinea pig. If your ear piercing led to rampant sex orgies, you would have blown it for your sisters. Instead, you got to be the pioneer.
bonesnaps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard of babies getting their ears pierced.
futurespice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair in India they get theirs done at birth. You got a late start.
G-man88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, how much estrogen was permeating that house? Your poor, poor dad.
QuestInTimeAndSpace ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 20:42:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But will still complain about the oldest having so many more rights and being able to do more stuff. Fucking hate that as the oldest. Little sister always crying that I can use my phone and pc whenever I want and she has an iPad and phone and DS but can just not use it all the time. At her age I wasn't even allowed to watch TV regularly and maybe half an hour of games per day. Also needed to pay for everything myself and shes just getting everything gifted
Sparcrypt ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 23:12:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but she doesn't know the difference.
I guarantee that you had/have stuff as a kid that I would have killed for, simply because it sounds like you're younger than me. For instance you don't know the annoyance of having one family PC, with dial up (that locked out the landline), or finally getting that SEGA Genesis but only getting to play it when your parents didn't feel like using the one TV of the house.
Now 8 year olds have Xbox Ones or PS4's, high speed internet and their parents picked up a cheap flatscreen so that they could play it out of the way... but bitch and moan they're only allowed 2 hours a night to play them or whatever.
But if I tell you that you have no right to complain because you have a phone and your own PC, you just don't care. That's not your problem.. just like your sister doesn't give a shit about what you did or didn't have at her age, she just knows what she wants now.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:15:53 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or no PC at all, in my case.
Sparcrypt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:10:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah we only had one because my dad worked with computers and got a free one. So all my friends hated that I even had THAT.
It's just life.
QuestInTimeAndSpace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it's just a really annoying thing sometimes but I do realize how much I actually have and am not really mad at her, how I could I she's my little sister.
I'm happy that I have that stuff now but of course it bugs me how much I "fought" for it and she just gets it like that. But it's hard for her too seeing her older siblings doing what they want and what she can't.
trixylizrd ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:46:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Please be kind to her, she doesn't understand that and will resent you later if you are not. Trust me, there is only one thing that matters and that's to be nice and have each other's backs.
eleventytwelv ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 21:55:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Screw that throw a rock at her and tell her to shut up
liberaces_taco ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:01:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
^ this guy
QuestInTimeAndSpace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:27:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I know, after all she's still my sister and this is just a thing that bugs me sometimes. I still love her and would do anything for her and don't want her to hate me or smth
internetsanta ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 21:50:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's two things
trixylizrd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:12:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No it's one.
kthx_bye ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh younger sisters.
Are ugh until they are 21 and now telling you they got into life altering trouble and have felt so alone and thought they could only tell you because you BOTH know how "shitty" your parents are.
Realising mine always thought we were on the same level was heartbreaking for me. I felt like I kept myself from being a good older sister because I was angry at my parents.
nrealistic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:14:53 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a younger sister.. my big sister got a car from my parents on high-school. She got college paid for. She got her first apartment first+last fees paid for. She even got her phone paid for for years into adulthood. But then, there was no money left to get me a car, or pay for my schooling, and I paid for my own apartment. Sure, I got my ears pierced when I was only 9 and she had to wait till 10, but I think that's trivial in comparison.
Jokes on her though, I make twice her salary and she's overweight.
QuestInTimeAndSpace ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:28:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok that's REALLY unfair. It's kind of understandable when the oldest has more rules to follow and stuff, when they get more than the youngest though, that's cruel.
But that's probably why you're better of than her, you just have more experience and know how to deal with stuff yourself judging from what you said
JustthatITguy ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 18:19:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not always. My older sibling did some dumb stuff on occasion, which led to me having stricter rules when i got to be their age
delorean225 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 19:50:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, yeah. By and large, the first child is the guinea pig.
kthx_bye ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:36:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am the oldest of 3, and this was a long running joke.
This, along with me getting in trouble "more" made me feel like shit most of the time and did nothing for my confidence. It took my hubby 3 yrs to get me to stop apologizing for nothing.
Additionally - it created resentment for my siblings, which still holds me at arms length well into our adult years.
I had only one child, and I would be lying if I said I don't factor this into that decision.
delorean225 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funny. In our family, we joked about it a lot and my older brother never seemed to be upset by it. It's like an exchange - you get slightly shittier parenting, but you get to do stuff a little earlier.
kthx_bye ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No no, I got the scared first time parents. I had a 10 pm curfew all throughout highschool until I graduated. They bumped it to 1 am after that because they knew I was working and not partying. But still 1 am. My bro was the next yr below me and his was 12 from 10th grade on. Then they never said anything after that.
My sister, gem that she is, is 6 yrs below me and I doubt she even knows what a curfew is.
They got foot loose and fancy free with the other two. Can only speak for my situation, but I haven't figured out " what I got in exchange" yet. I'm 28.
jlharper ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:08:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it got to a point where you should have taken the initiative and started coming home later and setting your own boundaries. I think a lot of kids forget that parenting is a two way street.
I remember explaining to my parents that I would be coming home past curfew sometimes but that I would always let them know where I was. They disagreed with my proposition. I pointed out that I was now an 18 year old man, and that they would have to physically restrain me if they disagreed. After a day of thought, they then agreed.
jeeyansanyal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:54:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't agree more. One always has to send out the message to one's parents that they're grown up and that they will be out late occasionally, otherwise the parents rarely stop treating them as a child f their own accord.
kthx_bye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was never an idea in my house lol. I like it, and will keep it in mind for my little one. Thanks for these two comments as it totally applies to the battle I am about to wage with them now. Life always gives us second chances I guess.
kthx_bye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents were super big on not "disrespecting " them. Doing this would have been disrespectful and talking back. Also, I legitimately called my mom and let her know what I was doing / where I was. ( It would have been disrespectful not to) I was a good kid.
I did eventually just not come home one night, and then said fuck it after that. I was going to be 19 in a month.
[deleted] ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 19:39:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha fuck my siblings, I'll try to do as much stupid shit as possible on purpose now
swordhand ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:33:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have the right idea!
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 21:04:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if you insist.
( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
fauxmerican ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 21:15:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How did you screw up the chance to say "if you incest"
cumkid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The golden cumback that never was. That is why no one will remember your name
Pleased_to_meet_u ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dad, you're drunk again.
trixylizrd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Spoken like a true big brother.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:38:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like me, I was quite the degenerate in my teenage years and now that my brothers age reaching that age they still have some things I never would've dreamed of but they live under much stricter supervision. The added benefit for my parents though is that I seem to have scared the boys straight so far
gelatinparty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My older sibling didn't even do dumb stuff. Mom would say "you can do whatever brother is doing when you're that age" and when I was old enough she'd say "you're a girl so you still can't do it."
Now I don't consider myself trans and as an adult I'm content with myself, but back then I really, really wanted to be a boy. I frequently fantasied about it and cried about it. I only wore gender neutral clothing. Puberty really tore me up emotionally, but at least my breasts developed small enough that wearing a couple sports bras hid them.
itsonthebumber ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:08:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It actually went backwards for my family. My mother had six of us and the first could do whatever she wanted, the last has to deal with everything mom learned from the first 5
Taylor_Satine ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:51:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was the last of 7 kids, my teenage years sucked. Since all my sisters were assholes and got into alot of trouble, my mom was so strict with me. I basically had no life because of them. Moved out as soon as I graduated.
Iownamovingcastle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:07:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is what happened to me. My parents were chill with older siblings. They screwed up so parents suddenly became super strict with me. I had an insane curfew even when I was 18 years old and my parents constantly looked for evidence I was doing drugs as a teenager. I never was, but them going through my stuff or punishing me for everything (like an afterschool club letting out 20 minutes late=me getting high and deserving to be punished) sure hurt our relationship. I moved out and spent pretty much all of college lying to them about my entire life and everything I did just to keep them off my back.
-del2phi ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:06:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, my baby brother was spoiled.
ShockinglyEfficient ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:28:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely true. My parents had a strict no alcohol rule until you were 21. But as the youngest of four, I've been drinking in front of my parents since I was 16.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:11:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the oldest of four, agree 100%
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:18:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the youngest of four, agree 100%
iamasecretthrowaway ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:56:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So true. There are only 4 kids in my family but 12 years between me, the youngest, and my oldest sibling. Plus my mom had me at 38. All my siblings were sort of difficult children and I was super easy and agreeable. By the time they were done with my siblings, they were just done entirely.
darkweaver66 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:59:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You were born 38? No wonder theres such an age gap!
iamasecretthrowaway ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:12:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was an awful labour. I destroyed her.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:13:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup the eldest kid gets the fuckup parents who have no idea what they're doing. By the 3rd kid they've got it down to a science if they've even got the smallest bit of intuition.
iamdorkette ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:15:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HA. Sometimes. My older sister got away with everything, did some screwed up stuff. I got really strict rules because of it. I was good, so my little sister gets away with everything. Pfft.
thehumblepaladin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:22:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am determined not to do this. I'm currently working on a chart with age and merit based gates to privileges. Sure it'll be modified but I shouldn't backslide out of laziness.
delorean225 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's going to happen, is that you're gonna realize after the first child that you were off-base and too strict on some of them. And the younger kids are gonna want to do what their older siblings are, and their demonstration of success with those responsibilities will make you think the younger ones are also going to succeed with them. The first one gets a phone at 15, the second gets one at 13 because their older sibling had no issues so they should be fine and the other kids had cell phones at that age so why not, and the third kid gets it just before middle school because at this point it's just making things fair.
espo1234 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:30:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As the oldest, this is definitely the case, but I also feel like I get more expensive things. Either this, or my parents explanation which is that they constantly ask for small things like candy or gum. I can't remember the last time I asked for candy or gum.
VagCookie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:41:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
and if you're a middle child mom and dad are too busy being strict to number one and fawning over the youngest...that they forget your birthday, go dress shopping with your older sister the night of your big play, take your little brother to the movies while you walk 3 miles home from school in the dead of winter after a pottery make up class and you also have the flu. What I'm notbitter.
delorean225 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel for you, man. Middle children are shit upon all the time. WE DEMAND RESPECT!
VagCookie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:02:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was the middle of seven kids. Sucked balls. My parents were always so focused on 2 of my older siblings (the older one closest in my age suffered similar shit) and making sure they got every experience a normal kid should (scouts, girl scouts, dance classes, piano, every school dance a new dress/suit/etc.). And my youngest siblings pretty much got whatever they wanted (except the younger sister closest to me in age, but she got away with more than I did) and they could get away with murder.
Meanwhile my older brother and I were held to high standards, punished often, and forgotten on important days.
My dad said it was because the two of us were smarter than the rest and thats why he expected us to be better. My mom said it was because she knew we could handle being disappointed better than the rest. I guess its not all that bad, I push myself harder than the rest of them (all high school drop outs but oldest and youngest, but I was the first drop out to get a diploma and first kid to go to college), I'm more compassionate (dropped out to take care of my mom), and I manage disappointment splendidly.
still Totally not bitter
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:51:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All too often true.
MarcusQuintus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:57:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Story of my life. My mom wouldn't even allow friends over while I was growing up until I was in high school and even then it was only one or two and for just a couple of hours. A girlfriend was completely out of the question. My seven years younger brother who just finished high school frequently has had three to four friends over and even started bringing his girlfriend home.
lackofspace ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:58:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Playing with knives in the front yard and violent video games
rabbyburns ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:20:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, youngest of 6. Eldest had to wait till college for hookers and blow, buy Pappy Burns let me have my first at 13.
Jokes aside, confirmation stands.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not me!
My (very financially secure) single father got a cell phone for my older brother when he was 15 in 2003.
I am 3 years younger... Not only did I not get one when I was 15 in 2006.. My dad said he didnt think it was worth it to have paid for my brother's phone for the previous 3 years.. so he wouldn't be doing that again.
I paid for my own pre-paid phone tracphone piece of shit for a year and spent pretty much all the money I had saved up until 2006 on $0.10 text messages so that I could stay socially relevant as a 15-16 year old.
In 2007 I found a friend who let me get onto their family line for $20 per month with unlimited texting.
:'( Thanks for listening guys.
Cornontheja_cob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My older brother and I weren't allowed to play video games during the school week or we got grounded, of course that was disbanded once we hit highschool. However, my two little brothers got to play video games during the school week all through their elementary and middle school years with no consequences.
Definitely being older sucked in those instances.
mobileoctobus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:27:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its like making pancakes. After you screw up the first one by being too controlling, you relax.
fuck-youverymuch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:41:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Word. I'm the youngest of three, got away with a whooooole lot more.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:42:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I had an older brother and I got to do cool shit
IonizedBromine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Middle child--I had the most lax rules growing up. I asked to do things, they told me what they thought would be a reasonable time to come back, I followed their wishes. Called if I would be late--and didn't make a habit of it. Had a job at 16, was allowed to use the spare car as long as I saved 80% of my paychecks. Want a smartphone? You have a job, make it work. Pay extra for the data, etc.
I've also been financially independent since I was 18, where both of my siblings have needed help.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:04:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's probably because the thing they wanted gets more affordable by the time the oldest child reaches the age the parents promised (and the youngest child is still much younger).
paxman2205 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:07:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Opposite for me. My big bro got away with everything:
Chel_of_the_sea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was the opposite in my family. My parents were pretty hands-off with me but raised my siblings in their very conservative way. As a result I ended up being the black sheep by far.
Of-Quartz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not for me. My family kept to the age restrictions the same. But he would ruin those privileges for me by the time I got old enough to do it. Cell phone at 15 but could not bring it to school because he got tons of write ups for using it during class.
TheForeverAloneOne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats a lie. The youngest will be told that he can do things when he is his brother's age, but the kicker is that he will never be his brother's age because they age at the same rate.
DBobaUnchained501 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:12:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you're the middle child. You have to share with both. One's the pride of the family and the other's the baby so you get both their scraps.
Darth-Pimpin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:08:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Every child thinks they have it the worst, and sometimes blanket statements like these are applicable to some things and not others. You only notice the times that were bad because of [blanket statement], and the good times don't stand out.
It's kind of like a horoscope. Vague statements that can resonate with pretty much anyone. A younger child can come along and say the exact same shit, except switching roles, and they would get just as much agreement.
delorean225 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It depends on the parents, but I'm referring to the phenomenon of the older child's responsibility speaking for a younger child. First kid got a phone at 15? He seems to be doing fine with it, and the second one is entering middle school... give it to him at 13.
TheStorMan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:34:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We kind of had the opposite, my older brother and his cousins around the same age could always do stuff we weren't allowed to, even when we reached that age, we'd still be the 'younger group' and not be allowed do it.
Grimsterr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:07 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
First kid: pacifier, bottle, whatever, falls on the ground? Boiled and sanitized.
Second kid: Here <blow on it and hand it back to them>.
CrazyCoKids ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not here.
I got the strictest rules.
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 17:39:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, this one hit pretty close to home. Why did my little sister and I start riding in the front seat at about the same time? She's two years younger than me for Pete's sake!
pm_me_ur_wet_pants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How could you both be in the front seat at the same time?
incaseanyonecared ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:19:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got a phone when I was 13. My sister got one when she was 9. I'm four years older than my sister.
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 20:43:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
13 - 9 = 4
Can confirm.
incaseanyonecared ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:13:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks mate.
woblingtv ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:41:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What would we do without you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The monster math.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:56:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah but context implies that they got the thing at the same time (or a few months apart).
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:57:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god. I remember when the first Nintendo DS came out. I made birdhouses, mowed lawns, and sold eggs for a whole summer to buy a DS. the next week my mom takes little bro and sis in and gets them their own DS all because they bitched about it.
Siphon1 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:09:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda like me not being able to have M game till 18 but them getting the games in middle school
woblingtv ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:44:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was me with my family, I couldn't play any shooters till I was about 13-14 but my younger brother got them around 9-10
SantasLittlePyro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The way I see it, is that they'd at least have a normal kid that made it to 13-14 on the off-chance that the 9-10 year old gets fucked up by them
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:26:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not me!
My (very financially secure) single father got a cell phone for my older brother/only sibling when he was 15 in 2003.
I am 3 years younger... Not only did I not get one when I was 15 in 2006.. My dad said he didnt think it was worth it to have paid for my brother's phone for the previous 3 years.. so he wouldn't be doing that again for me.
I paid for my own pre-paid phone tracphone piece of shit for a year and spent pretty much all the money I had saved up until 2006 on $0.10 text messages so that I could stay socially relevant as a 15-16 year old.
In 2007 I found a friend who let me get a line on their family plan for $20 per month with unlimited texting.
:'( Thanks for listening guys.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:53:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bring that up so much if they say it's not fair on little one tell them its not fair on you
thatgoat-guy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:09:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ahem Grand Theft Auto cough
Musicman320 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:13:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try being a twin. We would get one thing and expected to share. My brother always had it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:25 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
twins count as one unit. :)
needsmoresteel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:57:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For the older siblings, look at this as being a trail blazer who didn't "F" up too badly, otherwise the next ones would not even get thing X.
ShittyComicGuy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:37:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's when you punch them in the face a break it while yelling IF I COULDN'T HAVE IT AT YOUR AGE YOU CAN'T EITHER.
rjoker103 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:07:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I felt like that with cell phones. I got mine during last year of high school because I was doing extra course work and would be home late. But my siblings and younger cousins had iPhone going into high school. Why?? And it of course didn't serve the purpose of calling, like it my first black and white Nokia did...๐
LiarVonCakely ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:10:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was the younger brother in this scenario when we got Nintendo DS's, and my brother was pretty miffed about it. But we had fun playing Mario together :)
techtheatreismylife ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:05:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, always. Parents bought a car for my brother and I to use cause they were tired of driving us places, picking up from school etc. I'm two years older then my brother and exchange for them buying the car i had to pay for my gas, insurance and all other car expense and had to drive my brother to all his stuff. I left home for 2 years and when i came my brother was graduating from high school, found out the entire time I was away my parents paid for his gas, insurance everything. They then gave me the used car which was nice, however my brother is now on his second new car, guess who paid for those, you guessed it my parents.
smashervt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:16:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats with me and chores. Im 20 and I vacuum, walk dog drive 15 year old brotger to gym every day. Its a 10min walk
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:08:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wait what? why would you drive your brother a 10 minute walk? that makes no fucking sense.
smashervt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:35:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because my mother spoils him and i always have to do that shit. And it's not like he is disabled or fat. He is pretty jacked. Same thing with school but thank God in moving
flippydude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:32:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
... 'Murica
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
and to the gym, no less! utterly pointless!
theniwokesoftly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, my psych professor was saying things like "remember when you were ten and you were allowed to go to a friend's house a block away but your sibling couldn't" Ha no. He's two and a half years younger but got to do everything when I did. So he had a much later bedtime than I did at the same ages because he had my bedtime. Very frustrating for an insomniac child- he'd fall asleep instantly or early and I'd stare at the ceiling for hours.
hexguns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 16 "you are not getting a car unless you get a job and buy it yourself". Sister turns 16, "enjoy your free car"
candiicane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother and I are 13 years apart, so my mom lucked out as far as your edit goes. I didn't know any different, so when my mom said "I didn't buy your brother brand name shoes until he was 13, and he got one pair" I had to just accept that as fact, and anxiously awaited my black and pink Vans until I was nearly 13 (feet grew sometime when I was 12 and needed new ones).
P8zvli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was 21 when I got my first smart phone.
My cousin got one a year later, when she was 13.
BabiDollNikki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't get my first phone until I was 13, and it was a slide phone. (Samsung flight 2) My sister got an iPhone 3 that same day. And was 10.
I had to wait until 8 grade but she didn't? Not fair. Didn't ever even get a smart phone until I was 17. Pissed me off
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thing is, parents are generally the most concerned/strictest with the first child because they're inexperienced. As they get older, they realize some of the laws they laid down werent actually needed, so if they have another kid they just don't bother enforcing the useless rules.
Shrimp123456 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
YES MY SISTER GOT HER EARS PIERCED AT 8 BUT I HAD TO WAIT UNTIL 10
cihojuda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That then leads to younger siblings getting impatient about things that are age-restricted by law. As soon as I started driving, my sister started demanding that she start too, and as soon as I started looking at colleges, she started pestering my parents about that too; all because she always got the same things at the same time I did. She's two years younger than I am. If you say your kids need to wait until a certain age to do something, fucking stick to your guns with the rule for both kids.
remembertobenice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not about the kids being ready to have thing X. It's about the parents being ready for their kids to have thing X.
eileenbunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:24 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Younger sibling here - always had to wait the two years. My parents MEANT it.
rebelworld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Okay I'm not a qzq q
bobnine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:30 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents were always strict with this type of rule, and being the youngest one it was always annoying, but I realised that I got the thing when I was Y, so I got over it eventually. My brother is very much the opposite and followed the "you get it when the oldest is old enough to have it" rule with his kids though. The first one turned out ok, but the younger two act like spoiled brats most of the time.
supershinythings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother got the X thing and I was not allowed, because I was a girl. My mother claimed I couldn't go anywhere or do anything because as a girl I might be targeted. But... That totally backfired.
Joke's on my older brother. Turns out our Catholic priest preferred molesting little boys, so he molested my brother for many months. He barely acknowledged I existed. So, boys get preferred over girls for all kinds of things.
My mother was more afraid that I would be kidnapped and raped by a stranger than that my brother would be molested by our priest. And yet... The priest thing was what happened. Meanwhile, I've had a few close calls but so far, no stranger-rape, just the usual bullshit acquaintance almost-rape that seems to happen a lot but nobody wants to believe is more likely than stranger-rape.
jlharper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you seriously petulant that your older brother was out being molested while you were at home? What the hell? I hope you're very supportive of him and this comment is just a good natured joke.
supershinythings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My point was that all the overbearing repression of the girl in the world did not prevent the molestation of the boy. Our mother couldn't be fair because she preferred him completely.
On the one hand, I couldn't go anywhere or do anything. He could go anywhere and do EVERYTHING, and guess what, he's the one who got targeted. Our mother never thought a priest could do such a thing.
He has severe emotional problems, is compulsively abusive, and has terrible uncontrolled impulsiveness. He's 52 and will likely never recover from what happened. I sympathize but since he has always had a compulsion to be extremely abusive to me I've had to avoid him. He's physically unsafe for me to be around; last time (10 years ago) he was screaming at me in the car, shaking the wheel left to right, at 70 mph. So it's a difficult relationship. I've tried to be supportive but it usually gets me shit on in some way. It's always been that way since it happened. I don't really have a brother anymore.
EstherandThyme ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:56:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, I got to chew gum younger than my older sister did (our parents thought it was a choking hazard) and she is still salty about it. She's 25.
Illusions_not_Tricks ยท 795 points ยท Posted at 17:28:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As the oldest this one always pissed me off. I had to wait for everything and my parents were way more lax with my siblings.
psmylie ยท 104 points ยท Posted at 21:06:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got a job when I was 12 (doing snow-shoveling and lawn mowing for the church). Later, I got a regular part-time job at a fast-food place at the age of 13. I bought my own stuff if I wanted it, not waiting for anyone to give it to me.
Naturally, my little brothers would take anything of mine they were interested in, because they had no concept of actually needing to work to get something. Everything was just given to them. So, why shouldn't they just go into my room and take my stuff? It wasn't a big deal, even if it broke or got lost later.
I'm not at all bitter about this decades later, I swear.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:21:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Last time my siblings pulled this shit messing with my PC setup (seriously fucking complex cable management) and using my speakers I chucked my shit. No regrets.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 22:24:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Elaborate please?
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 22:49:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Installed a deadbolt on my door, sticky taped pieces of paper calling them out on their bullshit in obscure places in their rooms, nicked some of their stuff just to make a point, got my parents to ground them. We're not just talking about invasion of privacy here, they intentionally messed up cable management and bracketing which took me days to set up, and nicked my stuff. Not cool bro.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:08:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I expected you to literally chuck your shit at your siblings.
Still a good revenge story, but I'm a little bit disappointed.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:20:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey if I could have got away with it...
Kevo_CS ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:05:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it obvious?
u/-INSERTLIFEHERE- threw his whole rig out the window to prove to the siblings that they can't have his/her stuff
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:21:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That legitimately sounds like something that one of my siblings would do.
Coffee_Grains ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:34:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in 6th grade I begged and pleaded for a phone, and I ended up having to work to pay for the phone and the first three months of service. I ended up getting a shittier phone than I was promised and the majority of the money went to my younger brother getter a much nicer phone than me. When I started getting into PC gaming, I worked every other weekends for ~5 months to save up for my computer, and then my parents told me I couldn't get one. I had to get my best friend's mom to order it for me. My parents ended up buying my little brother a computer for Christmas. I got about $125 worth of stuff total. Nowadays he's spends his time drinking, smoking weed, and skateboarding with druggies and dropouts. He's 15. Most of them are 17+. He also is physically and verbally abusive, but no one does anything because he has high anxiety. I can honestly say that I have no love for him in my heart.
Sexual_tomato ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 18:41:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It goes more like "the youngest will get his grubby hands on it and destroy the thing, so we're going to wait until he's old enough to fear and understand punishment commensurate with that destruction to have it inside the house."
At least that's the case at my house.
worklederp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, I always had the case were, When I try to get my shit back from my older sister, I get the shit beaten out of me. YMMV.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:41:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents were/are the same. They were always terrified that they'd somehow screw up my life if they let me wrestle/watch that scary movie/stay up late just this once. By the time they had my youngest sister they'd realized that kids are resilient and don't need to be coddled 24/7, so they're way more relaxed with her.
Sparcrypt ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:53:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here's the thing kids never understand: your parents have no idea what they're doing. They make it up as they go along.
So what happens is they don't want you to do X or have Y because they're worried you can't handle it or something will go wrong. When they do give in and it turns out to be no big deal at all they think "...huh, why were we ever worried?" and don't make your younger siblings wait just for the sake of waiting.
And older siblings get plenty of advantages as well, at least mine did. Plenty of "because he's older" moments etc. Sure, younger siblings get the spoils of the olders victories, but they also get punished for their failures.
Anyway, my point is that it's more often just parents trying to figure out how to parent. Like it or not the eldest is who they learn with.
alexbhood ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:27:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember this always happened with my bedtime. My mom would say I could stay up until 10 on school nights when I was ____ years old. I would argue about it and wait and wait and then finally gain my prize on that birthday. And so would my little brother.
I'd bring it up and she'd say "well he sees you going to bed later and it's not fair to make him to to bed earlier than you". Like she just didn't want to deal with saying no to him. Always made me so mad.
Sparcrypt ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:04:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My guess is they wanted you in bed so they could relax, but once one of you was up they lost that time so really didn't care if you were both up.
No parent I know has ever enforced bed times beyond a super young age for the kids benefit.. they want to actually have a break from dealing with kids.
amd2800barton ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:25:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At some point my parents stopped insisting on going to bed, and just insisted that we had gotten READY for bed, and chilled in our own rooms. We could read or play a (solo) game by ourselves for another hour or so. They ended that policy when i built myself a computer :(
A5H13Y ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:22:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my God. I hated this so much, especially when it came to watching movies (which my parents tended to be a little stricter than some others about).
I wanted to watch Saw so bad. I finally was able to and binged the first 3, then went to see the 4th in theaters. My parents felt bad about leaving my brother home while we went to see the movie, so of course he could come along and watch.
Lifeguard2012 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:52:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a middle child and I got like half and half. One one hand I had more freedom than my older siblings, but on the other hand my younger silbings were so coddled they never took advantage of the freedom.
Driving is a great example. My mom didn't like us driving, especially her car. My older siblings got their licenses around 17, and never drove the "big" car. I got mine the day I turned 16 and was driving my mom's car a month later. My youngest sister only just barely got her license at 18, and doesn't like driving because my parents will drive her places.
Kush_on_thebrain ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:49:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But I bet your siblings are fuckin annoying the hell out of your parents since they weren't put on stricter rules.
JediNinja92 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no, it's cause we were annoying as hell. So much so that they didn't want to deal with it again.
ActionAdam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:12:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was the middle child so, you know, whatever.....
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:26:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It worked the other way around for me. My older sister was given pretty lax rules and regulations, and fucked up all over the place, causing the parents to reel it in for me.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:14:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oldest of 5. AMEN
Bahunter22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:22:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So much bullshit. Wouldn't let me date until I turned 16, which I secretly did at 15 because fuck that (still married to him!), but let my sister date at 14, and my brother at 12. It was like that with everything. Pissed me off so much.
Alybank ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course my parents were over having with family vacations by the time I was old enough to enjoy them.
TonyPajamas29 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:06:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As the youngest of 4 I completely agree with your statement ๐
The_Iron_Bison ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe because they betatested giving you something they were unsure about, and they thought you turned out just fine and figured your siblings would too?
TheM1ghtyCondor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then whenever you point this out to your parents, they get pissed at you
rubydrops ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It pays off later, in my opinion. I'm the youngest, it took me a long time before my parents let off on the over-protectiveness. My brother pretty got free reign when he got to high school but I was still getting calls in college (lived away from home). I appreciated them because I found out how homesick I am, but still. It's like when they figured out what's okay to do with the younger one, they also figured out what they need to be more strict about.
TempoMagic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Age limits are cop out tools for parents who are lazy or don't know better anyways. Evaluate based on their actions not their age.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:48:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was allowed to play violent video games at 12, my 7 year old brother was also allowed to start at the same time.
TheAllRightGatsby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This doesn't bother me because, for example, I know how much I wanted a cell phone and how convenient it would have been for me to have it before 6th grade, and I also know that it's been like 10 years since I was in 6th grade and that nowadays basic technology is more of a necessity than a luxury so present kids' luxuries (video games and consoles and stuff mostly) are gotten earlier too. It's the nature of living in the future imo. I'm usually very on board with my brother getting stuff nowadays, as long as it isn't outlandish and we have the money. Like he's in 7th grade and just got a basic laptop for his birthday, and on the one hand it's like, "He's so spoiled," but on the other hand that's really the only functioning laptop in the house now and there's no way he's not gonna need it for school, so it's actually reasonable, even though I had to wait until the 10th grade to get one.
(Note: I know 6th grade was already fairly early for a cell phone but as a kid who rode the bus home it would have been nice to be able to call my mom and tell her to come get me instead of her having to guess. I ended up getting it cuz I was going on a school trip out of state.)
ZachMich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How about you see it as you did such a good job being mature and trustworthy that your siblings benefit from the trust that you earned from your parents
Illusions_not_Tricks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe in other cases this is true, but I was not a mature or trustworthy kid (at least in my parents eyes).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But you also always got no clothes being the oldest while I got your handmedowns
mostdope28 ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 18:17:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Worse is when you save up your money as a kid to buy a game or something. Then your parents go and buying your younger sibling one too so he quits bitching even though you just spent months saving up. And when you bitch they don't care because we both got our game
boran_blok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of problems as a parent can be solved by ignoring the bitching of your children. The hard part is to start early and keep at it.
s0laris0 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:10:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my parents were incredibly strict to me my whole childhood, they've had 5 more kids since then.
absolutely grinds my gears to see them get to have/do whatever they want after being the test child.
god I hate being the oldest.
a-r-c ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:49:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
seriously tho how do we solve this paradox
bc the little one always bitches til the little shit gets what they want
namlesgir ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:30:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not always accurate. When I was like 3, I asked my mom to buy me a giant pixie stick. She said I could have one when I was ten. Same answer when I asked for a swiss army knife when I was like 6. Got both of them for my birthday.
Granted, I brought it up a lot prior to then
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:57:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
namlesgir ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:36:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aaaah I see. Thanks for clearing it up!
fireork12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the youngest and this only happened once in my entire life.
Funnily enough it was with fucking Pixie Stix
thats_satan_talk ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:56:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the youngest. My sister and I were told we would get a cell phone once we were 15. I got mine at 13. My sister was extremely pissed about that.
Makes sense, until you see thay she spent %90 of her waking hours in front of the TV. I was out playing sports and going out with friends. If they wanted to talk to her, she was immediately available. If they wanted to talk to me, they'd have to wait until I got home.
SidusObscurus ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:46:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cell phones are a bad example for objects as a right of passage. Children getting them is more a sign of cell phone adoption by society in general than it is of anything else.
Laureltess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:53:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right. My brother got his first cell at 16 or 17, in 1999. I'm ten years younger, so by the time I turned 13, cell phones were way more common to have at that age. So I got a cell phone at a younger age than he did.
CRISPR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or, sadder, when you are Y years old you do not want X anymore.
Stacia_Asuna ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:27:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My younger sister woildn't get away with this without what I'd call mild gaslighting - trolling them by following self imposed strict rules half of thhe time then breaking actual rules. So annoying but doesn't work even if I'm not eldest sibling.
bless_ure_harte ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:03:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why do parents do that?
roystgnr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Parent of 3 here. A few reasons, good and bad and mixed, in no particular order:
It's hard to not be lazy and give in to kids to stop them from being annoying. The more kids you have dividing your time the harder it gets. To make it harder still, kids can get much more annoying about something that they constantly see their sibling getting than about something which is "out of sight, out of mind".
If the thing the kids want requires them to be mature before they can have it, well, one way they can gain that maturity is to constantly be around an older sibling who they're learning from. My youngest daughter has been insistently trying to floss her own teeth since before she turned 1, not because we suggested it or because she has some innate sense of responsibility for oral hygiene, but because she tries to copy what the big kids do.
If the thing the kids want might be dangerous or might be unenriching: parents get less paranoid and less uptight and more aware of children's capabilities as the parents get older and more experienced, but only the younger kids get to benefit from that. Sometimes the older kid was denied something they shouldn't have been, in hindsight, and it's too late to avoid that mistake but it's not too late to avoid repeating it.
If the thing the kids want might be expensive: people build wealth, get raises, get into better jobs, etc. as they get older, and can often afford more afterward - it's not that the kids who are older should get less, it's that the parents who are younger have less. This is doubly true if the kids want some electronic gadget that gets cheaper every year.
Different kids are different people, and parents try to take that into account. E.g. my 4 year old doesn't get as wide a variety of video game options as his older sister did at that age, because he has nightmares more easily than she did. He is getting to try organized sports at a younger age than she did, because he's been taking more of an interest in it.
Tricky4279 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:07 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least for the first part, they're hoping the kid forgets they said it. Case in point, I asked my parents for a dog for my 7th birthday. My mom tells me I'm too young, but I can have one when I'm 13, never expecting me to remember. 6 years later I started asking about that dog. Never got one. Looking back, I'm glad. My control freak parents would never have let it been "my dog".
keeperofcats ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:57:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate that! As an only child I didn't have to deal with it but my friends with siblings & my nieces experienced it constantly. You finally got a CD player at 16? Your 14 year old sister gets one at the next gift giving occasion.
XSageXL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:10:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
YESSSSS UGH
Pinguanradclaffe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am the oldest (23, nearly 24) and when I was 14 I was told I didn't need a mobile phone and wasn't allowed piercings until I was 16. My young sister had a phone and her first ear piercings when they were 14.
tommymartinz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:34:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well why your parents would give her a decade and a half old phone and piercing is beyond me.
butt_fun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:35:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wow I just got super pissed
frostwolfeh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:40:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A couple kids I knew in elementary school got cell phones, I wanted one really bad. My parents gave me one when I got to 6th grade so I could have one for middle school. 1 year later my brother who was in 4th grade got one after my parents caved and gave him one after he kept whining about it. There are others but this one still annoys me.
derpface360 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
X won't give it to ya'.
kairisika ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it was true. I only got X when I was Y years old.
It was just that my little siblings also got X when I was Y years old.
Ubername_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:54:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Meanwhile got my drivers license six months ago... Still no car
major_fox_pass ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:43:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not everyone has parents who will give them a car. Not even most people.
s317sv17vnv ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:30:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My younger brother got his license first (I was too lazy to learn) and was allowed to drive mom's car to and from school which was a ten minute freakin' walk away, and didn't have to contribute to gas money because he had no income. He did this until he crashed the car. Meanwhile, I finally got my license a few months ago, I'm not allowed to even touch mom's car, and yet I am forced to pay for insurance because apparently my mom's insurance rate went up when I got the license. When I said that makes no damn sense, she literally said "Nobody told you to get your license. Take the damn bus if you need to go somewhere." Yeah, with a fucked up transit system, getting to my job takes an hour and two seriously jam-packed buses, so I figured a 15 minute drive would make my life so much easier.
My brother is currently looking for a car for me since he knows way more about them than I do. I'm dead set on having an SUV, and when I told him about what mom said to me, he laughed and replied "Watch her want to suddenly borrow your car with its 4WD in the winter when there's two and a half feet of snow on the ground."
alittleperil ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:43:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom can explicitly exclude you from her insurance in order to not have it go up from having a new licensed driver in the house, but it will mean you can't touch any of their cars, even in an emergency.
beaker90 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:16:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When my oldest brother turned 16, he got my aunt's gold 76 Celica (this was somewhere around 1990). Someone stole the 76 Celica (why?) and he and my parents went halvsies on a little 91 Nissan pickup.
When my other brother turned 16 (1992), my grandparents told him that they would buy whatever car he wanted from the used car lot. He ended up with an 88 Bronco.
I didn't want to get my license (1996). My friends could drive when we wanted to go somewhere and my mom taught at my high school, so there was no need to drive to school. Parents forced me to get my license saying my mom was tired of driving back to school to get me after sports. As soon as I got my license, my parents told me that they thought about it and had decided that they no longer believed that I needed a car since all my friends drove and my mom worked at my school. So, no car for me until my grandmother decided she wanted a new car with intermittent windshield wipers and she would give me her 91 Geo Prizm. This was one of the few times that being the baby screwed me over instead of getting me spoiled.
methyboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, people actually complain if their parents don't GIVE THEM A CAR? Good lord, I thought that was just an exaggerated thing some movies used to show how spoiled and bratty some kids were.
Ubername_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know I'm spoiled and bratty but hearing parents complain daily about driving me to school because all my friends have cars and can't carpool. Yes, that warrants IMO mentioning "well... If I had a car ... " not to mention I had $6,000 to help them pay for it.
siamthailand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is such bullshit. It was mostly my dad though.
I_EAT_GUSHERS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents always chalked it up as "you're not mature enough."
CrazyCoKids ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha no.
I had a 10:30 curfew until college. My sister went out and returned after midnight with no problems whatsoever.
flat5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She said you.
Babyfacebitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The younger sibling always gets the same stuff at a younger age, the oldest sibling always gets the perks like sitting in front, player 1.
The middle child gets shit.
GarnetAmethystPearl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is one thing my parents actually stuck to. If we wanted to get our ears pierced, we had to wait until we turned 12.
Gamerred_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is one thing I got lucky on. My sister had to wait so long for something and I get it 2 years earlier :).
32BitWhore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a middle child, holy shit is this accurate.
Older sibling gets everything before parents realize it's a mistake, you get nothing, younger sibling gets everything because they're too old and tired and don't care anymore.
zero400 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is not a lie. You can have all the candy you want when you're 25 but at that point you realize sushi is more expensive for a reason.
AintNoFortunateSon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funny story, once upon a time my dad thought it'd be a good idea to try and bribe me with a million dollar check. He knew that he'd never keep a million dollars in a checking account. Well never say never, the day we sold our beach house we netted a bit over a million dollars. Now my father had every intention of using that money to build a diversified portfolio for his and my mother's retirement but there would be one day when the balance in his checking account exceeded a million dollars. Well I'd saved that check and that night I told my dad that I had to go to the bank the next day. He asked what for and I said to deposit a check and showed him the check. He took the check and tore it up and said "what check?" I cried and then we laughed and finished watching TV.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me I could sit shotgun once I was 10. My sister, 3 years younger, got it at 7.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot the responsibilities your siblings didn't have since you were alone for a time.
Video_Game_Alpaca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So I can have pokemon X once I'm old enough to get Y!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My younger siblings got their first phone, first gaming PC and first bedroom (large family) before me. I'm still really pissed about it, but I guess when it came time I got a better phone, higher spec PC and bigger bedroom than all of them.
Vandorbelt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a younger brother who is six years behind me and can confirm. I had a strict bedtime of in-bed at 8:00 and could read in bed till 9:00. Lo and behold my little brother has pretty much never had a bedtime and consistantly stays up watching TV in the living room with the family till past 10:00...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The curse of every eldest child.
alostbutton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a cell phones reference for 90-95 birth year kids?
psomaster226 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was the younger sibling, and I frequently was "old enough" to get a thing at the same time as my brother.
gibsonblood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Got my first cell phone when I was in 6th grade. No more than 4 months later, my brother who is two years younger than me got a better phone. There was a lot of yelling after that.
the_chalz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am the oldest and since I started playing video games I wanted to play M rated games. I always got the "wait until you are older" excuse.
Well... come one Christmas morning (I was around 13) someone in my house did get the first M rated game... my younger brother (3 years younger than me). At least after that I was allowed to play it...
I will never forget.
supershinythings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can't do X at age n because you're a girl, and he's a boy, so got to do X at age n-1."
VoiceSC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always pulled that.
"You can date when you finish high school"
"Date when you finish your first year of college"
"Date after you've finished school and have a job and something to offer her"
as_a_fake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my God, this. I ranted on this topic a while ago here on Reddit, and I still get a little angry over it.
I'm the oldest of three, and every single time I was finally allowed to do something, my siblings were allowed to do it right along with me even though I was only just mature enough for it.
My best example is probably the TV show How I Met Your Mother. When I was around 14-15 years old my mom would sometimes let me watch an episode with her, and I found it hilarious! So I asked if I could watch it and she eventually said yes, but that I couldn't watch it around my siblings (3 and 7 years younger than me) since it isn't even close to appropriate.
Well, after I watched maybe two episodes on my own, my little brother (the 3 years younger sibling) complained about how "it isn't fair! I'm old/mature enough!" So she caved, and he started watching it with me. I still, to this day, do not think he's mature enough (he's now 17), as he constantly repeated things from the show and started calling Barney (the worst-behaved character of the show) his role-model. Luckily, my little sister still isn't allowed to watch it, because if it's too mature for my brother to handle, I can't imagine what she'd get out of it (she is still, in more ways than just being youngest, the baby of the family).
/Rant
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am the younger sibling. Older sibling gets annoyed confirmed.
TheRealOCD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why would I want X?
theshaolinbear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mm, but for me the trade off was that my stuff tended to be newer, while the younger sibling got it second hand, albeit at a younger age.
MelofAonia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hell yeah!
Ears pierced - me age 9, sister age 5
Phone in room - me age 10, sister age 6
Television in room - me age 12, sister age 8
Me at uni - HAVE to live in campus housing, can't rent my own apartment (walking distance). Sister at uni - yeah, totally, rent your own house with your friends.
Yeah, there's a 4(.5) year age difference between me and my sister.
krissycole87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OMFG THIS. THIS. I had to wait until I was 17 to get a cell phone. Sister got it at 13. I had to wait til I was 16 to get my ears pierced. Little sister got hers at 11. The list goes on......
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to want a sibling but now i think i got the better end of the deal.
PeachTheFirst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"There's a time you can experiment with drugs and it's called University". Jokes on you mom. I didn't go and doing them right now.
Shin-LaC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can have sex when you're an adult!" Then you catch them having sex with your 12 year old sister. Unfair.
SmartLlama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Husband is smug about this one - has a sister 6 years older than him who wasn't allowed to watch Austin powers until her 13th birthday. Guess who got to watch it with her? Bahaha
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a lie. It was true for you. Your sibling has a different truth. It may not be just, but it's certainly true.
Adulthood is realising that Truth, Justice and The American Way are three unrelated concepts.
MonkeyBoatRentals ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:07 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was the oldest and suffered with this, except one time when I got a new bike. My brother wanted one too and he was told he could have one now if he paid half out of his saved allowance or he could wait until he was my age and get it for free. He cried about it but my parents pointed out all the things he had received at the same time as me that I had had to effectively wait for.
That was the only time that the unfairness was acknowledged, but for some reason it removed all my resentment from that point on.
rocopotomus74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You" can have. That's the important bit of the sentence.
Flappy_Penguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The opposite happened to me. When my older sister got more chores, I recieved more chore. It fucking sucked.
Ironicbanana14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
True story.
"You can't have a phone until you're 14." My sister got a touch screen at like 10.
Preebos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid, I wanted an iPod nano, but my parents wouldn't buy me one. So I saved and saved and it took forever because I didn't get any allowance. I finally bought one for myself when I was about 11 years old. A year or two later, when my younger sister was about 10, my parents bought her a newer model of the iPod nano as a gift. I'm still salty about that a decade later.
Adevilinflyertown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You and your older sibling crew can quit your bitching. Yeah parents relax more with younger siblings, you want to know the flip side, Chores. My oldest brother started mowing the lawn at 12, 2 years later my middle brother took it over when he turned 12, I started when I was 12, you know when I stopped, age 27. When I got married and moved 2 states away. 4 years after I moved out.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was once told by my parents I could have a pet snake for my 8th birthday. They gave it to my for Christmas when I was 7. My parents were the best...
rhiannon101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, a million times this! My mom told me and my sisters that we couldn't get our ears pierced until we were twelve years old. I turned twelve, and she took me and my ten year old sister to get our ears pierced. When I pointed out the rule, she threatened me with not getting my ears pierced and watching my sister get hers done.
That memory still rankles.
ifeelnumb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good god I got burned on this as a parent because of the f'ing schools moving to a bring your own technology requirement in between the 2 year gap of my kids.
TheGnarlyAvocado ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that was me, my brother is 10yrs older but sister one year younger. When I got my driving permit I had it for a year and a half driving 4-6x a week and racked up around 10000 miles in the time i had it before getting my license. My sister drove around 800 miles and had it for 6 months when my parents gave her the green light. So far she's had 2 accidents in 3 months and Im accident free.
Magma151 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. Being the youngest is great.
NukeML ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Does that mean my brother doesn't have to wait till he's 18 to have sex?
peanutpeepz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my case, I was the one that wanted to get her everything I had even when she was younger than I was. Of course this was mostly because I wanted someone to play Pokemon with.
noddegamra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only one of you needs to hit the age limit. Great paving the way for your younger sibling like a good older sibling. Mom would be proud.
PeanutButter707 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got my first cell phone when I was 11, and only because we were about to move clean across the country. Fast forward to 7 years later, and my 9 year old sister has a tablet, an iPod touch, and Skype.
Stacieinhorrorland ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't have a cellphone until I was 16. My younger brother got one when he was 10
koriar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was around 8 years old I found my grandfather's copy of "Leisure Suit Larry" which I was amazed by right up until my mom found me playing it. She claimed that I could play it when I was 16, assuming that I would have forgotten about it by then.
Of course, what actually happened was that she completely forgot that she said that. So when she found me playing it again when I was 16 and I had no evidence of her promise, the disks were hidden once again.
OpalMagnus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:49 on August 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
You guys made me literally get up and hug my younger brother. We never had a relationship like that. My brother and I always used our money to buy each other stuff so that if one of us didn't get something, we could get it for the other. My brother was 8 when he got a DS for Christmas, but he used the money he got that year to buy me a DS when they went on sale a couple months later. When he got a PS2, I used my money to buy multiplayer games that we could play together. Sure, my parents might have been unfair to us, but we always did right by each other.
Edit: I'm starting to wonder if it's the age difference. My brother was like 2.5 years younger than me. Neither of us had many friends either so we were each other's best friends. Sounds like other people's siblings were 4-6 years younger which probably means it's harder to relate to them?
ramturdz ยท 9989 points ยท Posted at 13:38:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're such a handsome boy"
Vocabularri ยท 4528 points ยท Posted at 18:18:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Any girl would be lucky to have you."
[deleted] ยท 1553 points ยท Posted at 18:39:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
only_sometimes_haiku ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 20:57:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
pat pat
DemyeliNate ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 21:25:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who would name their kid Pat twice? ๐
immatonton ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 21:45:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The name's Pat..
Pat Pat.
only_sometimes_haiku ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:37:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pat Pat senior, I suppose.
shrug
Hurt people hurt people.
HerpaDerpaShmerpadin ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:34:53 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom is a theorist.
Unitedmoviemaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if you're making the reference I think you're making, but I think you are, so take an upvote.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
only_sometimes_haiku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:36 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, wrong number!
CeyowenCt ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:44:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right there with ya, pal.
kennyl ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:00:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Aww, don't feel sad! Everyone loves my little EvoloZz!"
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:51:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i cri ertiem
Stealthy_Bird ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:20:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
me too thanks
sonofherb ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:25:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
me thanks too
AvatarofSleep ยท 846 points ยท Posted at 20:41:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes mom, girls are banging down the door to be with this acne pocked slouching bundle of anxiety wearing salvation army castoffs. I'm a real winner.
MyPacman ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 00:57:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We have a friend (late 30's) who is a total adonis, great at martial arts; a kind, wonderful guy; runs a successful business; plays computer games; is clever, smart and funny... fucking perfect.
And so is the gorgeous, clever wife. We joke they won the genetic lottery.
I saw a picture of younger him and his wife. They both looked just like your description. Gives me hope for your future.
AvatarofSleep ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:22:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's really sweet, but I'm 33 and married with a child. Acne got a little better in my 20s and a LOT better after 6 months on accutane. I still have some scarring, but I like how I look a lot more now (makes me wish I'd have bitten the bullet and did accutane in my early 20s).
This post was more about how I perceived myself in my mid to late teens (and 20s) when my mom/grandmother/whoever tried to tell me I was handsome.
MyPacman ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:59:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, I figured you were older, but there will be others reading it.
It is hard building someones confidence up without also exaggerating positive points (or ignoring bad points). Actually, teenagers are just hard work in general.
funnyusername970505 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 21:36:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well atleast we have our mom...lonely and live with parent forever!
between_yous ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:03:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
(Holds up trophy)
And I finally feel good about myself. "Saddest".
stingray20201 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:41:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And if we break our arms
funnyusername970505 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:10:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom can you help me...
dreadmontonnnnn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:45:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen some guys with horrible acne or excema all over their face and they were with some prettay rad and cute chicks! You can do it homie you just gota make a change.
WellThatWasSmart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:42:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone give this man gold
Flaveurr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:05:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why don't you do it
Hotfishy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Awww, she loves u
StrawberryR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:00:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I mean, the slouching can be easily fixed. Just stack a book on your head and take a walk. Your posture is fixed when you can properly balance the book.
And hey, chicks dig scars. Or if your acne is just the regular kind, you could gently wash your face with Dove soap, pat dry, then use the noxzema face cream every night. It works pretty well unless you have one of those "I legitimately need medicine to stop it" cases of acne.
Howzieky ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:19:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most respectable girls don't even care about acne. Change your sheets, and shower, etc. and even though your acne may remain, people will be able to tell that you have good hygiene, and thats what most girls I know really care about here
AvatarofSleep ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:40:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They might not, but it was a big drag on my self image.
It got better though. Combination of growing up and drugs.
kingkobalt ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:01:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah drugs were surprisingly helpful in improving my self esteem as well.
KinOfMany ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 19:19:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Stacy will never be with you! Get the fuck out of my house you freeloader"
:(
DroolingPandas ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:37:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/raisedbynarcissists?
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:38:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*/r/raisedbyrealists
werealwayswithyou ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:53:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oooh you've got wrinkles - someone fell in love with you!"
HoodedGryphon ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:15:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep I get this. It's awful because:
FoxyGrampa ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:50:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"thanks mom!"
"She would have to be ... because that's just how low the odds are honey"
mybustersword ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:45:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, we only show off our best sires to mom. She sure as fuck doesn't know about my late nights drugging it up, but she knows I'm sleepy cuz I work too hard
damontoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:09:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on your relationship. I told my mom about everything including drug use.
HarryPotHead45 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:17:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You have a face only a mother can love."
mrglass8 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:02:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
MY MOTHER DOES LOVE THIS FACE
GusN ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:53:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You smell like a leper gnome!
Core_i9 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:34:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's okay, just go out and find a single mom.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:27:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you mom! My face looks like a pizza and none of my four beard hairs can decided which way they want to go! So stop telling me that girls would be lucky to have me! More like they're lucky they don't have me!
drcshell ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:53:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bad luck is a kind of luck...
G-man88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just like hunger is a kind of food.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:49:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ByzantiumBall ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:38:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
EVERY FUCKING THREAD.
_Guinness ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:07:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
MY MOM SAYS IM COOL.
Moonpenny ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:01:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wish my mom would've said that. ;.;
HeroOf-TheAbyss ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:50:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You see, ladies told me that all the girls would be jealous of my eyelashes when I was growing up. I would be like, "phffft, I'm not cute I'm manly as hell." Here I am 20 years old and not one notices until I take my glasses of and then they flip out. I hate them bc it's like getting stabbed with Excalibur when one gets in my eye.
FizzleMateriel ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:33:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Finally another person who knows my pain.
Funny how they're supposed to protect your eyes from dust and debris but one rogue eyelash falls in and it hurts and irritates more than any of that.
HeroOf-TheAbyss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know right? Like yo gurl, I know they look majestic but damn do they hurt. And the worst is when they hit when I'm driving or something.
gugul408 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:53:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aw, Moms are the best
Rockapp2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:13:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
shit.
scottnado ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:31:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I can guarantee as a fact she'll say 'yes'."
Volsdontletmedown07 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:48:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every damn time... Thanks mom
fattygaby157 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:47:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only mother will love you
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:31:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You'll be just like me son, in a few short years you'll have to beat off those girls with a stick."
...in retrospect that's a weird statement from my dad.
Edible_Pie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:52:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What a nice girl. Shame she's probably got a boyfriend or something...
EDIT: Oh God. Thought I was still in the Flirting 101 thread.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
triggered
Crimson_Shiroe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then I get cheated on. Perfect logic
RuneLFox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me_irl
Roy-Hobbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to think she was always lying to me and it crippled my confidence. 6 years and 10 gf's later turns out I'm handsome AF.
Eaten_By_Otters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you!
[deleted] ยท 95 points ยท Posted at 17:22:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I only look good in the right lightingโ
Complete darkness.
SemiNation ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 20:53:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Tall and, in the dark, handsome" is what my mom would always say. (instead of tall, dark, and handsome)
Fowl_Eye ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:45:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is killing me.
superdude4agze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is a good line. Can be added to the "I'm in shape" Round is a shape and the "I have the body of a god" It's Buddah though lines.
dsaasddsaasd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:41:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Buddah was not fat though (and, strictly speaking, not a god). You're thinking of Hotei.
Joks_away ยท 657 points ยท Posted at 13:49:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What, you mean when my mommy told me that that it was a lie? No, it can't be true, you lie. I'm handsome, my mommy told me so.
PM_Me_Rude_Haiku ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 15:42:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason I was always told how handsome I was right after my mum had finished (badly) cutting my hair. I'm not sure which one of us she was trying to convince.
sexygirl420 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:16:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
perhaps, out of pity they said it. So that your self esteem would not be damaged.
DarksteelPenguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad tell me how handsome I look only when I finally get the haircut he's been telling to get for weeks.
Kahzgul ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 16:51:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The true barometer of how handsome a child is is whether or not a stranger tells the child's parents, and if so, how frequently that occurs.
dnm_ta_88 ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 17:10:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that really the case?
I though everyone told parents that their kid was beautiful regardless of what it actually looked like.
ffxivthrowaway03 ยท 108 points ยท Posted at 17:30:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Miss, you have a very ugly baby."
Hilarious_Clitoris ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 19:56:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I came here just to confirm that this gentleman is telling the truth."
TheTrenchMonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my great uncles apparently when first shown babies if they were ugly his go to adjective was "long".
[deleted] ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 17:31:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Cute" is the catch-all for babies, if they say they're adorable, handsome, beautiful etc you know your child is actually a good looking kid.
If you get a lot of just "cute kid!" your kid probably isn't cute.
[deleted] ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 19:07:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIWC that I was actually pretty damn cute as a kid.
TIWC(today it was confirmed) for the curious.
fauxshoyo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:54:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shame about the way you grew up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah living in a box in an empty room is kind of strange
Vydor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You were lucky.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you not have the box?
Vydor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cardboard box? We lived for three months in a brown paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six o'clock in the morning, clean the bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down mill for fourteen hours a day week in-week out. And when we got home, our Dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt!
timewontfly ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:32:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If people go out of their way to tell you your kid is beautiful, your kid is beautiful. If they say it when trapped in conversation, it's questionable.
Billy_Reuben ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:35:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow damn. That's great to know then. I've had numerous strangers approach me and comment on how handsome my boys are. It's good to know that as bad as I fuck up, my genetic combo presented in a way that they're at least really handsome.
You know, until puberty roundhouse kicks them right in the fucking face :/
timewontfly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:38:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is what I comfort myself with. My kids may be assholes, but at least they're good-looking assholes.
just2quixotic ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:29:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have a mug with the world's 12 greatest lies. #3 was "What a beautiful baby."
Kahzgul ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:57:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Parents do, but strangers don't.
Eaten_By_Otters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow - people stop me on the street to say how beautiful my daughter is.... Sometimes multiple times a day.
(I think she's beautiful, of course, but I thought I might be biased.)
Maybe I should get her an agent or something?
Kahzgul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's your proof that you're not making it all up! And if you think your daughter (and you) can stand the ups and downs of the entertainment business, by all means call some agents. Don't spend a fortune on headshots for a little kid though; they grow up so quickly that a nice cell phone pic is usually fine.
Eaten_By_Otters ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:46:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ups and downs? Hmmmm. Sounds difficult. ;)
Seriously, thanks for the tip about the headshots.
Kahzgul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's very taxing on the soul. Much of casting for children has to do with whether they look ethnic enough or too ethnic, how tall they are, whether they look the right age, or have the right color eyes, etc.. Things you cannot control at all. And then you have to see if your child is able to take direction from a stranger asking them to pretend to be someone else, or doing something fake. Pretend this woman is your mom, or that little boy is your best friend. Ignore this giant camera. And when you do book a job, you have to make sure that both you and your child are consummate professionals; show up on time, let everyone do their jobs, and nail it when it comes down to your performance. It's challenging, but also very rewarding.
Lastly, and I cannot stress this enough, make sure it's something your daughter wants to do. Too many children have been forced into the business by overzealous parents who would rather make money than have a happy kid, and it ruins those children down the line. Just look at how many child stars end up as addicts, junkies, and suicides. It's hard to sometimes see the line between being forceful or supportive and being loving or enabling.
Eaten_By_Otters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yikes. That sounds hard. :\
I thought it might be nice for her to remember when she gets older. I had a friend who was an actor when she was a child and she has lots of fond memories about being backstage, etc.
My daughter is only 2... i might wait until she's old enough to tell me if she wants to do this.
Kahzgul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you never know until you try.
Jaxz1 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:38:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It can't be a lie because not just my mom told me that, also my aunts and grandma! They're not going to just lie to me, right?
Fatburger3 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:40:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[Erik cartmans voice] meeeeeeeeeeeuuuuum, someone on the internet said I wasn't handsome!
BillieGoatsMuff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:38:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
She says you're smart too right?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know you're actually handsome when you get GBP to trade for tendies.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's only a lie when someone else's mom says it.
withrootsabove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
tendie eating intensifies
LikeThereNeverWas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://imgflip.com/i/wk638
damnyouall2hell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, now eat your tendies
low_flying_aircraft ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 18:31:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know, there's a good chance she wasn't strictly lying to you about this. She's your mother, she may have genuinely felt like this. I'm not saying you're objectively handsome, just that maybe your mother thought so...
Vandelay_Latex_Sales ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 21:11:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You have half my genes and half the genes of a mate I thought was attractive (at least at one point). So I feel like for the sake of my own self esteem, you've gotta be attractive"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:13:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Taswegian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:00:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely. My son is the most gorgeous creature on this earth, let alone the most handsome human. I dare you to tell me otherwise!
LimitedWard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:31:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
MOM STOP YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME :P
Darth-Pimpin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hah, no. The fact that my son is my son doesn't make him any less ugly.
RiderAnton ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:49:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The phrase "A face only a mother could love" comes to mind
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 15:21:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom says I'm a catch; I'm popular!
shnmchl61 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:23:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm never last picked. I've got a cheerleader chick.
whisperscream ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:32:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy crap. Thanks for the nostalgia.
Mattybmate ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:16:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was told the girls would be knocking down my door.
And damn it, I believed her.
:(
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:57:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's the problem... If we had believed girls would be repulsed and only few and far between would be a girl that can appreciate you... Then maybe not have waited to develop girl taking to skills until much later
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:47:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was a girl,in a swat team suit.
Mattybmate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I said I like girls in uniform...
rvrtex ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 18:25:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ugh, this one. When the only people in your life who tell you that you're good looking are the ones who have no stake in that statement...that kinda tells you something.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:39:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget the hairdresser, also known as the only other woman to give me a complement.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:03:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
o shit she touched my hair! Now I can't stand up, I hope she doesn't ask me to move to the sink soon.
Pikeman212a6c ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:05:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Parents aren't lying. Our brains are just hard wired to find you adorable no matter how you look.
Apologies our undying love is such a burden on your life.
rvrtex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:18:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol, undying love. That gives me a chuckle. My dad has that and has never given me grandiose statements about what I can accomplish or how I look. My mom probably could care less but not much. Thankfully she also hasn't done the whole "handsome boy" thing for a long time...I guess that would require talking to me.
Shrimpbeedoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I DIDN'T ASK TO BE BORN, DAD
Pikeman212a6c ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:57 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I demand you cease your unauthorized internet surveillance of my lawful 1 amendment expressions! Stingray!!!!! Stingray!!!!!!
Shrimpbeedoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:52:13 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ALRIGHT EVERYBODY IN THE THREAD FREEZE AND POST YOUR IP ADDRESSES ONE OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS OWES TIME WARNER SOME MONEY
rjjm88 ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 16:48:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck no I'm not. Random people on the street comment how ugly I am. I hate that lie so fucking much.
arcoolka ยท 109 points ยท Posted at 17:18:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where the hell do you live that people on the street do this? An even more pissed off version of New York City?
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 17:37:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
MomoBR ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:02:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's just a famous kid that looks a lot like him called Uggo.
Lemon_Dungeon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:47:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So, NYC in the summer? Because that's where we are right now.
OrezRekirts ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:28:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.
OFCOURSEIMHUMAN-BEEP ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:20:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now, I can't tell if you changed a lot in the past 3 years or something, but looking at your oldest submission, a picture of your cat with your face in it, you really don't look bad.
Eaten_By_Otters ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:34:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Confirmed! Also, your cats are very attractive.
HyakuJuu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:50:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you JW from fnatic? If you're not then you're good.
rjjm88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:23:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He at least has mad dosh from playing CS:GO or LoL professionally (I had to Google him). I'm stuck in an unfulfilling dead end IT job.
HyakuJuu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, since the topic was looks, I meant his physical appearance only.
DankMemeSlayer ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:07:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/me_irl
TheSuperlativ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:28:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
from some angles
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:23:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This one hit too close to home.
DingleBerriesk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:33:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i expect this to be on /r/2meirl4meirl soon
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In high school a bunch of kids were making fun of me for not having a girlfriend. My mom said "don't worry, once you get to college you will have lots of girlfriends."
NOPE. Literally never happened. Not even once.
anonymousxo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Mom always said that and it gave me a nice base of confidence. I think it's a decent thing to say to your kids.
BITCRUSHERRRR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well my mom has MILFY friends who say I'm attractive. Same thing with younger girls. Never anyone I actually have a fucking chance with.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think this is actually as much of a lie as it is made out to be. Think about, you probably look like a younger version of your dad, a man whom your mother was probably attracted to. Don't get me wrong, you're probably ugly anyway but at least your mother thinks you're handsome.
AramisNight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah loved hearing the rest of the women in the family tell me the same thing, only to catch them later expressing sympathy for my mother for having such an ugly kid. Didn't really do much to my self image, I can see a mirror so it isn't as though the lie isn't obvious.
What it did do was inform me that the women in my family were pathetic lying cowards. While lies are lies, Liars always expose themselves with their lies.
Master_Tallness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am surprised to not find this at the very top.
SandpaperScrew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My whole life I've been called handsome by people. Not much else, actually. I've never understood why out of all descriptions, I specifically only match handsome.
PeterChao ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's better than cute, trust me.
applepwnz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One time my mom was like "you look a bit like Brad Pitt today!" I laughed for at least a half hour straight.
pinko_zinko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents just kept quiet.
Inigomntoya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pfft - that wasn't a lie... right...? RIGHT?!
Cuz "You're the most handsomest boy in all the land" was the only thing that kept me from seppuku in Jr High.
EDIT: More readable
Drudicta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a huge forehead.... gramma lied.
notalchemists ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gah, she would always say that and I doubted her so much I still have a hard time accepting compliments on my appearance.
rbarton812 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Get out of here, Norma.
Rimbosity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never believed Mom when she said this, and things like "Rimbosity, you have no clue," suggesting that girls were nuts about me.
30 years later: She was right. I had no clue. Girls were nuts about me. I was like attractive 'n' shit.
baloneybopper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bu..but I am handsome
DocFail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was more like "You aren't THAT BAD!"
Gothelittle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's always true when Mom says it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad would tell me, "you better treat women right because you look like me, and guys that look like us have to work to keep a woman around."
32BitWhore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Bless your heart"
Happybookworm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is only one beautiful child in the world, and every mother has one.
ShermanBallZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, it ain't a lie. It might not be true, but like Costanza said, "It's not a lie if you believe it"
ManSeekingToucan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Came here to say this. I see I am not alone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Too much Real dude... Too much Real.
booty_salads ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ya, your mom told me that too
khronojester ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In a discussion about a friend of mine that my family had just met earlier that day, my older brother said "man if you and her started going out you'd really be dating up" to which my little brothers followed with "Yeah but she'd be dating pretty down" and my mom kindly defended me like crazy, getting very upset with her sons. Guess theirs perks to being the favorite?
SpurpleFilms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
First year of school after everyone hit puberty over the summer and you're like "What the fuck, mom? What. The. Fuck."
thedadrad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, c'mon...
I look like my mom.
Narcissistic fucker.
CatDeeleysLeftNipple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When 3 people have sex at the same time it's called a threesome.
You are a very handsome guy.
Noblesseux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The older I get, the more I suspect that I'm ugly as sin -.-
KwesiStyle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a good lie, sometimes, I think. Kids get bullied a shit ton, sometimes they need a little confidence boost. I know I did.
jackandjill22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Conversely when you're actually attractive your mothers avoid mentioning it publicly.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Does other people's moms count, though? Key letter being (s).
BrianZombieBrains ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually don't recall that
needsmoresteel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can't grow grass on a playground!", implying you are a player because the girls can't keep their hands off you.
Dreamshy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hit close to home sobs
Jaxx1099 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's depressing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's so close to home
JuaannyD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
me too thanks
tylercanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I... I didn't need this
DBREEZE223 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I am http://i.imgur.com/XZ21saL.jpg
learntouseapostrophe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL redditors are ugly but have nice moms
valeyard89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A face only a mother could love...
_BallsDeep69_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought this thread was about lies?
glassfrenchfries ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Alternatively "your a beautiful little girl"
karnyboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aww, my mom said this to me often...I must be Quasimodo
TransgenderPride ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I came out as trans this is the only statement my mother said to me for like 3 weeks.
Caused me more pain than I can express.
MommysBigBoii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can relate
AuraXmaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:07 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Henceforth the phrase "a face only a mother could love"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People always told my parents to keep a baseball bat by the door to beat the boys away. I will hate that one for a long time.
Pass1veJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can't find the original post but I think there was a shower thought saying "Of course your mom thinks you're handsome. You have half the genes of someone she was willing to fuck."
artur_arturovich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Expected that on top
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You could be a model."
chelslea1987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was looking for this!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
feelsbadman.jpg
ZetsubouZolo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents were different, my dad could never grasp how I managed to bring home attractive girls .
TehKatieMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey you are fucking handsome you little shit. It took an excruciating amount of time to craft your body, not to mention the hellish pain she went through to deliver the final product, and the cost of maintainence fees to keep you looking nice and healthy.
[deleted] ยท 9791 points ยท Posted at 13:19:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AmericanCrabApple ยท 3010 points ยท Posted at 14:14:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I say that to my kids, I do actually mean it but I sometimes forget about whatever it was. I'm trying to teach my kids how to remind me without being a jerk about it. They do okay.
GrinningManiac ยท 2051 points ยท Posted at 14:56:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents did this with me - if I ever saw an ice-cream kiosk when we were on a day out, if I mentioned it to them they would say "well now you're not getting any". From what my perspective recalls it felt like I only mentioned it innocently once, but more likely is I hyperactively bugged them about it ten or so times.
I did learn, though, and wouldn't mention it. But sometimes I'd be caught in a moral dilemma where I was pretty sure they hadn't actually seen the kiosk (or the ride, or the cool store) but I knew that mentioning such things to them was forbidden.
What a stressful life 4 year old me lived.
Thraell ยท 1494 points ยท Posted at 15:26:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to my partner and I with his mother and then 7 year old niece. After a family day out (we were invited along for "quality time with niece" - more like extra child wranglers; niece is a hyperactive handful) we went past a fun fair, and like the then-21 year-old children we were, our eyes lit up, ready to ask like reasonable adults if his mum wouldn't mind ending the day out there.
But then, his niece pipes up, with all the saccharine, 7-year old manipulative bullshit she can possibly muster "Oh wow, a fun fair! Wouldn't it be so much fun for us to go there!" "It would be so much fun for us to go to the fun fair, wouldn't it granny?!" while eyeballing her grandmother with a 1000-yard stare.
Inwardly we died, because if that little shit had kept fucking quiet we'd have all gotten to go.
But no, bf's mum is of the camp "don't reward manipulative little 7 year old girls". We did not get to go to the fun fair.
Niece is 13 years old now, I still don't forgive her.
[deleted] ยท 573 points ยท Posted at 15:57:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
BF's mom sounds like a bitch. Seriously some of the stuff in this thread is blowing my mind because some of this just sounds like gaslighting.
Of course a kid is going to emphasize how much fun a fun-fair would be. They wanted to go to it because it sounds fun Jesus christ.
QuantifiedRational ยท 502 points ยท Posted at 16:07:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a 7 yr old girl with a whining problem we are working on eliminating. She gets an automatic no from me if she whines when asking for something. When she does ask politely for something she wants, I consider giving and often will if her request is reasonable. If my kid said word for word what this kid said, I probably would have relented. How else was she supposed to ask?
[deleted] ยท 320 points ยท Posted at 16:17:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. Especially parents who say 'well now you're not getting one.' like... what is your kid supposed to glean from that? My parents pulled that on me a lot as a kid and I was relatively quiet so it just rubs me the wrong way.
eggjuggler ยท 704 points ยท Posted at 16:30:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Never make your wants known to the people around you because you do not deserve to want things. Keep your mouth shut and the important people whose opinions matter will occasionally reward you with something you might enjoy." These kids, of course, grow up to be fantastic at open communication, and have wonderful relationships and certainly don't become those people who expect their partner to read their mind instead of stating their feelings.
[deleted] ยท 145 points ยท Posted at 16:46:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A+ post. I feel like this is why so many adults are little bitches about telling people what they want.
fripletister ยท 139 points ยท Posted at 17:07:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It fucked me up one step further to where I often don't even KNOW what I want, because I don't feel like I deserve jack shit.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 17:11:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents were this way but only with restaurants. "Oh, you want pizza? Then just because you asked we're getting something else."
Now when people ask me what I want to eat my automatic response is "I don't care, what do you want?" even if I'm seriously craving something. Sucks.
SidewaysInfinity ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 17:39:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm this way about needing help. I was expected to be the model child, the example, for anywhere from two to six other kids growing up. So my kneejerk response is to never admit I need help because my needs aren't as important, and to insist on paying people back and refusing help. I'm working on breaking it.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:52:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try being the youngest and being like that, meanwhile the two oldest need help bi-weekly and when I finally do get it in me to ask for help I usually get "I just loaned the rest of my money to your sisters". Which basically just leaves me to drive myself insane while I frantically drive myself crazy trying to think of a way to help myself, so I no longer ask and just drive myself crazy instead.
FireEagleSix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wanna talk? I'm 29 now, but I've been in situations like that as a young adult, where no one could, or would help me and I had to figure out this life shit fast. Maybe I could help somehow? Don't worry about accepting it from me. Honestly, getting the shaft from so many people in my life has made me more generous, because I don't want to end up like those people, I'd rather be the one that does help. Maybe I can give you some tips about managing money or something.
jasmine_tea_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:41:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What the actual fuck. :(
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:59:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was taught as a child that my preferences didn't matter because I didn't bring home a paycheck.
I forgot that 7 year olds are a vital part of a household income.
carollm ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:06:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit I can relate so well, and these comments have helped me figure out exactly why I'm this way. This is why my nightmares consist not of bad guys chasing me but of me having to live at home again without my husband and son, subject to family bullying me.
Aarondhp24 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:30:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an impulse buyer thanks to this. When I see something I want I'm like "Oh, DUH! Now I know what will make me happy!"
Spoiler: They rarely make me happy.
Gesnaught ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:32:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This. This is my life now.
christophupher ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:21:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking exactly
Moriar-tea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:58:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy crap, me too. Let's hope we can one day sort ourselves out and get on top of this shit!!
madeingina ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 18:45:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And they say shit like "back in my day we weren't so entitled!" Wanting something = entitlement to a lot of people.
eggjuggler ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 18:38:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It really is. I mean, there's a reason why "lack of communication" is such an incredibly common complaint in marriage counseling. Many of us are taught from a very young age that "wanting" just makes us terrible, selfish people because that's much easier than teaching a child to express their desires politely and to gracefully accept the instances when they don't get their way. I think it stems from the power struggle between parent and child wherein the parent uses tools that the child cannot access (such as denial of desires or physical punishment) to demonstrate their control. It's honestly difficult to label such things as bad parenting because the result often is a "well-behaved" child, and many people focus on that as the intention of parenting. However, if you instead view "good parenting" as preparing a child for a successful adult life, these methods stunt important interpersonal skills.
Killingmachine14 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:47:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you so much !!!!!
FireEagleSix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:37:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly my view on the subject. I would not like my daughter to be "well-behaved", but also unprepared for adult life. Teaching her how to manage her desires and the disappointment that arises when they are not met is an important part of that.
Telling her that she doesn't "deserve to have wants" as the quote above states is going to tell her that she has little worth and that her wants, needs, and goals are unimportant, when actually they are very important, not just to be satisfied, but also to be learned from.
One of many other things I could teach her when she gets old enough (right now she's only 11 months old) is the value of money and working toward achieving goals and earning things, rather than things simply being given to her; and how great it feels to know she's earned something all by herself.
In turn, this will also teach her how to treat the things she owns with respect, not just toss them around or let them get lost or ruined, like, 'oh, mommy will just get me a new one'. Properly managing her needs, desires, goals, and priorities will open up a whole labyrinth of things to learn from and make life lessons out of.
There are SO many better ways to manage a child's wants and needs than by ignoring them. That's the last thing that you should do.
havoc3d ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:31:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't speak for every parent here, but my 5 year old will ask for something and continue to ask or remind and cajole until the maybe becomes a no.
If someone hears the end of that interaction it might sound more asshole-ish than it actually is, imo. You nag when you get a 'maybe' then it turns into a 'no'. I guess the hope would be they learn that if someone has something you want being a pest is not an acceptable way to get it.
eggjuggler ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:54:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I agree completely. That's why I think it's such a difficult thing to teach... Politeness is actually a pretty nuanced thing. I think most people understand how persistent (read:obnoxious) kids can be and that certainly needs to be tempered, it's just that it's very common for parents to abandon that effort and instead go to "asking means no".
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 17:13:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 20 and still get "little pitchers have big ears" since "seen but not heard" ended after a long, thorough discussion
awin95 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 18:48:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Omygod. Annoying isn't it? My dad and stepmom used to do this to me and my siblings even when I (the baby of the family) was 18. My siblings were 19 and 21, already going to the college of their choice. It was quite clear that something had changed in finances but they refused to talk to us about it. Kept saying that there are just some things you don't talk to kids about. That's when I said look, everyone is now 18+ and I'm going to college soon, I would like to know what my options are. They tried to pull the same crap again, but I wasn't having it haha. So three years later, they try to talk with us if anything also concerns us, thank god. /rant oops
musty_book_aroma ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:11:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, never heard that phrase before.
FireEagleSix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What exactly does this mean? I've never heard this before, what is it referring to?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:18:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Trying to be part of a conversation or asking about it afterwards, they're calling you out on your interest by thinking of it as eavesdropping
shroomsonpizza ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:24:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
You know, it's weird that I have a really good relationship with my parents. So many things like this happened to me as a child, but I just wrote it off as what happens normally. I didn't realize that I don't voice my wants out of guilt until just now. I feel I don't deserve to weigh others down, because in the grand scheme of things my life simply isn't that hard compared to everyone else's. I feel like I just make others angry if I voice my concerns, because my concerns are light compared to theirs. 'Why are you complaining? You have nothing to complain about. You're too young to understand true pain.' Vicious cycle where you need a neutral party to help you figure out your pain, but are too afraid to ask because you feel like your pain isn't worth mentioning.
eggjuggler ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:21:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are very much not alone, including having a good relationship with your parents later in life. In reality, most parents don't teach their kids these things maliciously, but that doesn't negate how difficult it is to overcome those patterns of behavior that then shape our lives.
For what it's worth, your desires matter, and you deserve to have them. There is always someone who has it worse than we do, but we can be empathic while still pursuing our own happiness. Internet fist bump
FireEagleSix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What a great attitude!
tree_hugging_hippie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:59:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you have a window into my childhood or something? o.O I mean, my relationships with husband/friends are pretty good, but not so much with my parents for sure. And forget open communication with them (parents).
eggjuggler ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:10:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let's just say that I disagree with some of my mother's opinions regarding parenting, and it's led me to question a lot of what's put forth as "good parenting". Facebook is a goldmine for this... I'm baffled at some of the "my parents beat the shit out of me and I turned out great!" memes that seem to garner hundreds of likes.
tree_hugging_hippie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:30:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I totally know where you're coming from. A lot of my parenting decisions are figured out by remembering how my mom handled things, then doing the exact opposite. She's a great example of how to fuck up each of your kids' lives in unique ways.
G-man88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:34:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ya know it's funny really. So many parents think they did a good job because little bobby grew up to have a steady job and never go to prison or something, but deep down he's a psychological mess, because he was forced to grow up so damn fast to make sure his little brother ate when ol dad decided to start using Heroin, and mom started using adipex (for the energy) causing insane mood swings. Then after Mom kicked dad to the curb "after losing everything from his drug use. She started to date someone only a few years older than bobby at the time that would beat her, and choke her, causing severe anxiety to the point that bobby can't have a shower curtain closed at his house a decade later because he can't help but visualize his mother dead in the tub, but Bobby has a steady job, and never went to jail so he's ok....he's ok.
tree_hugging_hippie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:04:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're exactly right. My mom for the first time told me she was proud of me when I was 28. I mean, it's kinda nice it finally happened, but it didn't feel good, it was more like a slap in the face. The day my father dies is the day I stop willingly calling that house.
ChickenDinero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:13:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, that's me! Thanks, mom!
And you completely, totally nailed it.
(But seriously, I have an amazingly patient bf now and also a wonderful therapist, so at least I have that going for me now)
eggjuggler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:27:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People scoff at therapy, but there's significant value in learning how to communicate constructively. Good on you for having the self-awareness to seek improvement!
ChickenDinero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:44:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks! :)
FireEagleSix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:29:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Where is this from? I've never heard that quote. It sounds abominable, I would never tell my kids that they don't deserve to want things. Everybody has wants, doesn't mean we can always get what we want, though โ which is an important lesson for a child, but not to the extent of telling them they don't deserve to have wants.
eggjuggler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:21:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a quote from anything, I was just rephrasing the message that we send to kids by playing the "don't express your wants or you automatically can't have it" game described above.
P. S. - It is abominable. That was my point.
FireEagleSix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:03:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Glad to see it wasn't a "real" quote. Still, I shouldn't have had to ask. It says a lot about our society that I did have to ask, though. It reminds me of that antiquated, "Children should be seen and not heard," crap.
You were right on the money.
Hung-over-u ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Amen
vimescarrot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:49:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Alternatively: Don't be a whiny little bitch
AramisNight ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:05:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would think this would create an individual who does not expect their mind to be read. Why after being raised like this would they then suddenly expect their wants or thoughts to matter? That doesn't follow.
ChickenDinero ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:20:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Expecting their minds to be read is what partner 1 (more well-adjusted partner) thinks of partner 2 (afraid to ask for help).
Partner 1 wants communication and is confused/hurt ("I'm not a damn mind reader, I need your help to help you!") when partner 2 won't talk.
Partner 2 has great difficultly expressing needs and just gets more frustrated because they see no outlet for/solution to their problem, and talking has always been the wrong answer. Nobody wins! Everyone's upset and confused!
AramisNight ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:38:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why wouldn't partner 2 after being raised the way they had have accepted that their own needs are irrelevant? I state that as someone raised in the same way. I learned along time ago that my wants and desires only matter to myself and are irrelevant to anyone else. Why would partner 2 suddenly decide that their problems are worthy of the least bit of regard to anyone else? It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make you afraid to ask for help. You understand that asking for help is pointless. It's not frustrating if by adulthood you understand this. You would have long ago accepted it. There is nothing for them to be upset or confused by.
eggjuggler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:08:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's 100% natural for all people to want things. When someone has been taught not to voice their desires, it doesn't stop them from wanting things, it just creates a block that prevents them from actually being able to seek what they need from the people around them, despite the fact that those people love them and probably want to contribute to their happiness. Losing your voice doesn't make you content not to speak.
AramisNight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The more natural response to being raised that way is to simply learn to not seek what they want from other people around them, but to obtain their wants independently of others.
eggjuggler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unless that person has resolved live a completely solitary life, they will need to express their feelings to other people. Whether it's stating that they'd like to have spaghetti for dinner on their birthday or telling their spouse that they need more quality time together, it's completely unrealistic to expect any person who engages in interpersonal relationships to be absolutely self-reliant for all things relating to their happiness. And in those instances where one needs to express themselves but has been conditioned not to, they will feel frustrated and devalued.
AramisNight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:40 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
By that point, they would have long ago accepted being devalued. Frustration would be pretty trivial by that point. You don't go from being conditioned one way all your life and then snap into "normal" complete with normal expectations.
eggjuggler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're assuming that being told not to express your desires also makes you at peace with not getting the things that you desire, which is not generally the case. You may also be underestimating how much someone's perspective changes when going from their parents home out into the world on their own. It's quite common to realize in your adult life that you are dissatisfied with principles you were forced to accept as a child.
That said, if your personal experience differs from what I'm describing, then I in no way mean to devalue it. There are differences and nuances to every situation and to each person's reactions. I am only speaking to common trends in behavior and emotional health. Cheers.
AramisNight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Childhood taught me that my own desires are irrelevant. Adulthood taught me that so is everyone else's.
punchyourbuns ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:37:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's blatant sarcasm.
AramisNight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry. The part that threw me off was the part about expecting people to read their minds.
I_MELT_STEEL_BEAMS ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I see you've met my wife.
vimescarrot ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:48:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ask, don't hint
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:57:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See /u/GrinningManiac 's comment.
vimescarrot ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol
StaticChocolate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:58:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry that your parents did that to you, it sounds so confusing and annoying! As a child I learned that being persistent and polite will get you what you want - I'm 16 now and it's taken me 12 years to convince my mum that we should get a cat. If I asked for something, she would weigh up if it was justifiable or not and then say yes, no or another day. She's taught me to focus on a few things I want rather than lots of things and only to ask for things I actually want/need (because I'll need to wait to get them). But we're currently looking for a cat because we need a mouser!
I wouldn't say it was a perfect parenting job (I was very selfish for a while, crying in private when I didn't get what I wanted and attempting to be manipulative) but she certainly had a better "system" than some parents on this thread...
ferret_80 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:16:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would always ask. Sometimes I. Sure I whined and didn't get anything, but when I asked nicely there was a solid 50/50 chance of getting what I asked for. I learned that you lose nothing by asking and that has helped a lot in life. Asking if I'm unsure of something or if I'm out with friend and want to make a quick stop. It doesn't hurt to ask
Coziestpigeon2 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 21:28:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stop begging for stupid expensive shit. No you can't have it, asking just makes us more frustrated about how we can't afford it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:56:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
... Because of course a kid is going to understand that when it's phrased like that. What the fuck dude.
Coziestpigeon2 ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 22:34:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, a kid is supposed to understand "stop always asking for shit" and it obviously worked in this case.
vimescarrot ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:48:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, she could actually ask? Instead of implying
mnh5 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:06:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If just implying gets this harsh of a response, then I'd hate to see their reaction to a blunt request. Implying is generally considered less confrontational/more polite/more deferential than asking for something.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:10:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah. Op's possible "Can we end the day here" would have sounded much more socially acceptable.
mnh5 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:36:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps, but it sounds like the kid could have said anything and been refused. The grandmother might have accepted the request from one of the adults, but no matter how deferential or non-confrontational the kid was, she wasn't going to get what she wanted.
vimescarrot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
weird world you live in
JupiterHurricane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:42:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She may have downgraded to implying after learning that asking is somehow bad.
vimescarrot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:01:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She could have asked directly: Hey, there's a funfair over there, can we go?
But she was hinting, not asking. Hinting is obnoxious and passive aggressive. State what you want clearly and politely, ask for it without preamble. My second cousin has been taught to ask directly and, as you said, if it's not unreasonable she gets it, and if she doesn't there's an explanation: 'Sorry but you can't have ice cream right now because dinner is almost ready', and so on. Her little sister whines and manipulates like crazy, though, and she still hasn't figured out why her requests don't get granted as often, even though it's been explained to her. I wish I'd had this lesson as a kid, but I was made to feel like a horrible, ungrateful child if I ever dared ask directly for anything. I still struggle stating my wants, though I'm working on it.
dizzi800 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:47:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey! That looks fun! Can we go?" sked once.
That 7 year old (sounds/reads like) she was being manipulative and the sort of shit I'd try to pull as a bratty kid
c13h18o2 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:01:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The point is that she didn't ask at all. The way to ask would be something like, "can we please go to the fun fair today?"
Acciosanity ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:23:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always told my kids that kids who whine don't get what they want. Even if I wanted to give it to them. Whining is a deal breaker. Worked pretty well.
want_to_fly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:25:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha. When I was little and whiny my mom had a similar thing. If I asked nice I usually got it, or were told the resonable reason why (like if I wanted a horse or some other kid dream). But if I wined she would ask me "what does whining get you?" and I would have to say "nothing".
[deleted] ยท 102 points ยท Posted at 16:37:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. I felt crazy reading this thread with everyone acting like a child asking to do something fun is manipulative and worth punishing
[deleted] ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 17:57:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Tasgall ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:41:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well? Did you get an alligator?
G-man88 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:42:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think this question isn't getting treated with the importance it deserves.
Letmefixthatforyouyo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:24:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The door in the face technique:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Door-in-the-face_technique
SkeevyPete ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 19:28:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Playing devil's advocate here. It would seem the issue is that she didn't simply ask to go to the fun fair. Her first thought was to try and make it seem like it was the grandmother's idea, that granny wants to go because it would be fun. Some people might see that as misdirection and manipulation, not to be rewarded.
HoneyBunches_ofGoats ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:42:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. I have an almost-5yo and he likes to play the manipulation game. I don't play it (as hilarious as he makes it sometimes). He's learning that he gets much better results when directly asking me if he can have a popsicle vs trying to convince me that I need one, and he would maybe like one if I happen to decide he should have one.
davebawx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:46:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It seems like the best approach would be to be dire t in your responses. If the child tries to get something through manipulation your response could be rephrasing what you know the child wants to show the best way to ask for it.
"dad don't you want a Popsicle right now? That'd be so delicious! "
" I think you're trying to ask for a Popsicle. Is that what you're trying to ask me? "
" yes I want a popsicle"
"okay. Let's get a popsicle"
mbm66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But being persuasive is a very important life skill. If anything, you should encourage him. Make a game out of it.
Thraell ยท 148 points ยท Posted at 16:54:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bf's mom is a bitch, but in this instance I did think it was the only way to react. It was absolutely to do with the way niece asked it. If she'd straight up said "hey, can we go to the fun fair?" without the layers of manipulation, we'd have gone to the fun fair.
But she did full on sickly-sweet high-pitched baby voice and everything. Then when we got further away the bottom lip literally popped out and started wobbling, but there were no actual tears in her eyes. Just that fixed stare on G'ma to see whether it was working or not. Anyone who has seen a manipulative kid in action will know it well, and you don't reward it.
I may be salty about it still, but I do agree it was the right call in the end.
[deleted] ยท -30 points ยท Posted at 17:06:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Nasophalanx ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 17:21:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OP said niece was 7, that isn't a toddler. Niece was certainly old enough to ask politely without the manipulative bs.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 18:08:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:51:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
saintjonah ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:03:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. Kids are going to try...and you have to be strong or they'll find that weak spot and just turn you into a full-on doormat.
I say this as a super loving, probably overly giving father. My 2 year old is pretty much going to be the death of me. I think I'll be so done with it by the time she's older that I'll just let her get away with murder.
null_work ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:37:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, you just erroneously inferred that.
GRYFFIN_WHORE ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:09:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I babysat a manipulative 7yr old in late middle school. She would say things like,"give me a piggy-back now or in going to tell my mom you hit me!" or she'd say I wasn't allowed to look at her older brother or else she'd tell her mom I was kissing him. Her mom probably wouldn't have believed her, but she was a babysitters worst nightmare. A real 7 yr old going on 27 yr old. She was manipulative, she had been spoiled and it showed. Her mom never tried to work with her on it.
Ol_Shitcakes_Magoo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:26:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That goes in line with what I said. They can be manipulative. They also experience actual emotions with no malicious plans.
Also, threatening to lie is a lot different than trying to persuade someone by listing the pros of something.
PageFault ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:32:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who has claimed otherwise?
Myworstnitemare ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:17:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A seven year old is in no way a toddler! Toddler implies pre-school age.
A seven year old could be anywhere from 1st grade to 3rd grade (at least in the US.)
Ol_Shitcakes_Magoo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:25:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yea I don't know where I got toddler from.
My point still stands, though.
aspiringbullshitter ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:17:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You got kids?
you-create-energy ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You got kids?
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 17:24:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AmericanViking88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:43:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, you seem to be the only one reading that from the post. Have you considered it's just you?
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:28:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not just kids. Talk to most guys - do you want to go to fun for every one bottomless beer night? Do you want to go to the fun-gun and boat show? Mmmmhhhh, yes maam. Will you be good? Yes, maam.
jasmine_tea_ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:40:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know right? My parents never would've refused to go somewhere because I was being a "manipulative 7 year old girl". That's just mean-spirited. :/
Sometimes my parents would just plain tell me "we can't afford to go" or "next week after I get paid." I don't understand why people can't just communicate more openly.
jseego ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:56:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL! Dealing with kids from ages 2 - 8 is basically a gaslighting contest.
Me: "okay, son, so I took a half day of vacation time to get home by 2:00 pm because you have been asking me for a week to go to the minigolf, just you and me, and your brother is still in school for the next hour and a half, so now it's just you and me, buddy, and I'm totally going to take you to do that thing you've been asking about every day! Hooray!"
Son: "No, I don't like minigolf, I don't want to do that. I never said that!"
============ OPTION ONE:
"You DID say that, and we ARE going, and you WILL enjoy it, so get your shoes on....NOW!"
============ OPTION TWO:
MENTAL RAGE QUIT "Okay, son, I understand. You did say that, but I'm not going to force you. I'm going to leave now and drink beer somewhere."
...when that kind of conversation can be sprung on you at any time, you don't feel at all bad about warping your kids' realities a bit here and there...especially in those cases when you know it's for the peace of the family.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If this is how you deal with kids whose memories are usually short-span, you probably shouldn't have kids.
jseego ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:50:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wups, I do have kids.
And I'm a good parent.
Tongue in cheek, man.
Aarondhp24 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:29:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can you explain gas lighting to an idiot like me? I see it all the time, but it's just never stuck.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:43:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In simple terms, making you feel crazy or insane for either
A) Thinking something happened- they'll deny it ever happened if they don't 'like' it or it doesn't fit how they view themselves. This could apply here somewhat, or
B) though I think I may have used the wrong term, but making the kid feel guilty for asking, and acting like they would have if the kid had just been better even if all they did was ask for something.
Aarondhp24 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:46:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
B) Yeah that's happened to me. I got my Dad pretty good one time when I asked him for something, and he started to say "no". Except I parroted exactly what he said at the same time and when he stopped talking, I pumped my fist and exclaimed "I KNEW it!" and then walked away victorious.
I got beat for that. Gaslighting, I understand it now.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:07:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The crippling depression fair's in town, hooray!
hennesseewilliams ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:41:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it's insane to me what people are labeling as "manipulative" in this thread. Apparently a lot of people don't understand what manipulative means. Very few people have this much foresight when speaking. A little girl isn't thinking, "Oh if I emphasize the fun of the fair instead of simply asking to go, I might plant the seed in their brain and they'll take me anyway!" They're just made of word vomit. Their words come from their mouths before their brains even register them. They're not trying to manipulate anybody, or at least most aren't. Someone phrasing something in a way you don't find ideal is not the same thing as being manipulative.
crazedanimal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:16:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit has some serious emotional problems regarding children and often praises parenting decisions that are highly questionable if not outright abusive.
lol_admins_are_dumb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:16:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the words of Katt Williams
"yo baby is supposed to like skittles you retarded bitch"
vimescarrot ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:48:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never figured out what this gaslighting nonsense was supposed to be but if a kid started up this manipulative asking-but-not-asking shit with me then I'd fucking say no, too
mediadavid ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:14:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't gaslighting at all, not all manipulation is gaslighting. Gaslighting is pretty specifically reality-management, such as denying something happened which did, or stating something happened which didn't.
vimescarrot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What a bizarre word
mbm66 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:15:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
IIRC, it comes from an old movie where a husband tries to drive his wife crazy by among other things turning on and off the gas lamps around the house at random times and then acting like she's crazy when she asks about it.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:56:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If the gma is this big a bitch all the time with the kid, she may know that outright asking gets the same response as the above poster- "Well now you're not getting it." So hint-asking makes more sense in that context.
vimescarrot ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 18:33:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh ok we'll just assume the kid is treated like shit for this example instead of only going off the information supplied
lol
ZincCadmium ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:06:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents, my dad specifically, taught to ask for what I want instead of wheedling on like that. Instead of saying, "Oooooh, doesn't that cookie look so yummy? Wouldn't a cookie be so delicious right now?" I would be expected to say, "Can I please have a cookie?"
Then once I got a handle on that, they would ask me to consider if I needed a cookie or if I wanted a cookie. And if I wanted a cookie, did I deserve a cookie? Or a book or a trip to the fun fair or whatever.
As a result, I'm not one of those manipulative women people are always complaining about.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:16:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I don't have that problem either, but that's because of what I mentioned before; asking directly would get the "Oh, well I would have let you have that cookie, but now you can't. "
mbm66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For fuck's sake, why wouldn't you deserve a cookie? You realize that was basically a power play, right? They essentially made you beg for everything.
ZincCadmium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because dinner is in 30 minutes? Because I've already had a bunch of cookies? Because I was being an intolerable little shit like my cousins and cookies are treats, not nutrition?
Begging is completely different. "Plllleeeeeease I want a cookie! Oh my god I can't live until I have another cookie! Cookies are soooooo yummy, wouldn't it be nice to have a cookie right now? You could have one, too! gimme a cookie please please please please."
99% of the time, if I asked politely for something, I got it. Because my parents taught me how to be concise, direct, and thoughtful in the things that I asked for. I didn't waste time and energy whining about things that couldn't or wouldn't happen.
If they told me no, they would tell me why, "No Zinc, you can't have a cookie because too many cookies are bad for you and you've already had three today. No Zinc, we can't go to the fun fair because we're on the way to family dinner, but we'll go afterwards if you still want to."
Whether it was a "power play" or not, the fact remains that when compared to my asshole cousins, I appeared to be more quiet, well-behaved, rational, and intelligent than any of them. Would you rather spend time with a kid who can articulately discuss what they want to do and why in a calm manner or some whiney shithead?
notfated ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:52:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did she learn to be less manipulative tho
Thraell ยท 100 points ยท Posted at 16:55:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Last time I saw her she tried to guilt me into buying her Overwatch, because he dad was being so mean to her for not buying it for her.
She was supposed to have gotten it for her birthday - until it was found out that she'd been bullying kids at school relentlessly. Oh, and this was after telling her parents all year that she was the one being bullied. Boy did her dad get a surprise when he took her teacher to task for not enforcing the school's anti-bullying policy.
So, imma go with no.
judgmentgirl ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 18:49:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Has anybody taught her strategies for getting what she wants that actually work?
notfated ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:02:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess /u/wanhope was right. That is one scary child
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeeep, as an almost similar child...yeahhh
you-create-energy ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 18:00:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
So it's safe to say this approach doesn't work?
I wonder where she learned that? Kids don't get these behaviors from nowhere. Clearly someone taught her that treating other people badly is ok.
edit: Suddenly the majority of you believe that the family environment has no influence on kids. I'm sure it's just a massive coincidence that her family appears to be full of vindictive assholes.
I_MELT_STEEL_BEAMS ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 18:19:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know, right? It's not like we glorify narcissistic and antisocial behaviours in mass media and politics or anything. /s
you-create-energy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Children are far more heavily influenced by their parents that any other influence in life. But I'm sure it's just a huge coincidence that her family is full of assholes, the problem is the tv shows she's been watching /s
null_work ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 19:41:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Useless question. Could be from anywhere, or it could be she decided it for herself. This idea that children are incapable of coming up with their own behaviors is ludicrous and devoid of reality.
Tahmatoes ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:06:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm thinking people who think that it's all the parents' fault either don't have a lot of siblings or a great number of kids. Some kids turn into little hellions seemingly regardless of what their parents do.
you-create-energy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:45:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course it's ludicrous. Who said that? It's also ludicrous to claim they come up with those behaviors in a vacuum, with no outside influences.
Are we all helpless victims of our kids, and should just shrug our shoulders helplessly when they behave badly? It's obvious that children primarily imitate their parents, just like every other species.
Usually when this topic comes up, people bitch and moan about how the parents weren't doing their job by punishing their kids enough. Now a whole group of you suddenly believe it has nothing to do with parenting, kids are annoying little shits and their poor parents are helpless to do anything about it. Hilarious.
vagusnight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:14:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm'a guess you've got, oh, either no kids, or one, and probably an unhealthy relationship with the dad.
Because people with a few kids and no innate need to blame a parent for the kid's failings see that (a) parents play a shaping role, and/but (b) kids' in-born character plays a huge role.
(B) is sufficiently true that, just because a kid's a bully, doesn't require anyone to jump to "man, that family must be full of assholes." At all. It's one of many, many explanations, and by no means #1.
you-create-energy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:34:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wrong on all counts.
Of course not. This whole discussion was started by someone who described the grandmother as a bitch, and her niece as a whiny manipulative bully, etc. It would be foolish to say that those toxic personalities have had no influence on that girl's behavior. That seems pretty obvious. I'm not sure why this is making so many people uncomfortable. You all seem to believe I said something far more extreme.
Iorith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's the line of reasoning of "It's someone else's fault". Maybe the kid is just a little shit by choice, but you're stating it as if it's a fact that's it's the family's fault.
you-create-energy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, now I see how my statement was interpreted. I agree completely that a kid has to be held responsible for their choices. That's extremely important. A kid may have a shitty, abusive family but that doesn't make it ok for him to hurt other kids. But if we want a child to change, it helps to understand where their behavior comes from. Learning to manage our emotions is a core life skill that kids usually learn by watching how their parents behave when they get angry or sad. If a kid grows up in fear and pain, they are unlikely to be calm when a conflict breaks out at school.
Iorith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Very true, but you also can't assume that much of a kid's life from a post about 30 seconds from the kid's life and then the end result. By that logic, if he had posted that they DID go to the fair, and she ended up a meth addict, you could say that giving into kids is even worse, but we have no idea what happened in the meantime, and it isn't our place to get involved.
Overthemoon64 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:49:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have you met a child? Most of them come out assholes and it takes a lot of work to turn them into civil human beings. Given the number of adult jerks I've met, I bet good parenting doesnt even work on half of them.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:53:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
here-we-stand ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:02:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Props to my mom for insisting on C-section.
you-create-energy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:44:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
No they don't. I'm sorry to hear you have had so many bad experiences, that you would find this kind of generalization reasonable.
You should consider the possibility that these adult jerks in your life are setting a poor example for their kids, which is why you have been around so many poorly behaved kids.
vagusnight ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:39:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good to know that someone's firmly figured out that it's all "Nurture" and no "Nature." Shit, I don't know why that debate lasted as long as it did. /s
you-create-energy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:37:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think you got lost in your own sarcasm there. Do you really believe I said it's all nature and no nurture? Not to mention, the part that is nature comes from her parents genetics.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:31:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think it'll just make her better at it if she wants something.
Otherwise her options are hope she randomly gets something she might like, or get really really good.
It's like parents who punish kids when they come to then for help (not saying whatever it is couldn't still be punishable) all it teaches them is to hide better.
Dinodomos ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:24:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Make sure you tell everyone when you get your /r/pettyrevenge on her!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:58:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well that 7 year old can't win.
Banshee424 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:36:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
diafeetus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:30:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand. What is this supposed to teach her, beyond "don't ask for things you want, because you won't get them."
you-create-energy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:56:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So... it's manipulative to be excited about going to a fun fair, and its manipulative to be sad when she gets shut down? Do you believe other people express their emotions just to manipulate you?
It sounds like you believe you had a better plan for manipulating the grandma into being reasonable, and you resent this little girl for being too sincere and screwing it up. Her resentment was far more reasonable than yours.
Well that explains a lot
kaeroku ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:15:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See this happened when I was a kid, except everyone else got ice cream, just not me.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But that doesn't sound manipulative at all. It sounds like a seven year old asking to go somewhere.
Covert_Ruffian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:31:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Neither do I. No Redditor should go without ice cream unwillingly.
ActualButt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:47:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think granny is actually encouraging manipulative behavior. That tactic is pretty lame and transparent, and shutting it down only encourages her to get better at it and turn into a master manipulator.
10GuyIsDrunk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:36:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What the ever loving fuck? No seven year old would resort to hinting at something they wanted to do ("manipulating" Jesus Christ, fuck off) if they were allowed to just fucking ask. What the hell is with these parents banning asking for something you want? How the fuck are they supposed to get through life after being raised like that?
theParthenon1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
NEVER FORGIVE
NEVER FORGET
BouquetofDicks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not from here. What's a fun fair?
SongsOfDragons ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A small amusement park in a field that can be packed up and moved to another field.
BouquetofDicks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!
sonicmasonic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That little bitch!
FireEagleSix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is horrible. She was asking nicely, not whining, stomping her feet, crying and begging to go in. She just wanted grandma to consider her point of view of how fun it might be, which I don't think is manipulative at all. That poor kid. I would have gone to the fun-fair with you guys. Sounds fun.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:36:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Iorith ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:35:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's an impressive bit of rules lawyering for a 4 year old.
AmericanCrabApple ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:22:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
That doesn't sound quite like how I do things. I'm all about open, clear comminication. They can talk about the ice cream they can say how much they like ice cream, but if they don't ask properly and politely, they don't have a chance at getting it.
I quote how I'd like them ask. If they're being an annoying demanding shit and I'll correct them by saying "Mom, may I please have ice cream?" And they repeat, then I answer. A lot of time, the answer is no. But they learned their chances are higher if they ask right. If I don't want to play the gimme games I tell them before we get out of the car not to ask for anything.
texasrudeboy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:25:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. My mom used to say, "I don't have any cash right now" or "maybe tomorrow". I tell my kids, "No."
Korsola ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:41:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My step dad was like that, if I had the audacity to ask for something 90% of the time it was a no followed by a lecture about how good I had it and I didn't deserve treats for nothing. The only exceptions were if there were witnesses.
I remember going grocery shopping with him once and I asked for a box of crackers that I liked that we didn't often buy and I got them. I was pumped. And then my mom told me that the only reason I was allowed to get them was because there was another lady in the aisle that heard the exchange and he felt like he had to buy them so he didn't look like an asshole. Well you know what Danny? You are an asshole.
Superrodan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:56:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad told me a story like this about his childhood. He would ask for ice cream from his mother as they were driving past the local ice cream parlor, and she would reply "Well now that you asked, you're not getting any." So, eventually he decided he wouldn't ask anymore and of course she would have to get them ice cream. He never asked again, no matter how many times they drove past the place. And of course, they never got ice cream.
When he was older, he was in town visiting family, and they drove past the ice cream place. The memories came flooding back and he asked her why they never stopped for ice cream when they were kids.
"You never asked!"
Pixelated_Penguin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:26:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We're a lot more rational with our kids. Our policy is that "no" requires a reason. That reason can be "I'm just too tired right now" or something, but we give them the honest reason why we won't do it.
But still, yes, they can be annoying about things, and we address that separately. We point out that we heard them, we know, if we get to a point where we could address their request and it seems like we've forgotten, it's time to remind us... but that while we are STILL doing the SAME thing that we needed to finish the LAST time they asked, it's too early to ask again.
So my eight-year-old has developed this technique of shuffling up really slowly, giving puppy-dog eyes, making this little throat noise, and pointing with a very small gesture at something desired. It's so insufferably cute that it gets annoying much, much more slowly.
DConstructed ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:28:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
โฆto this day Grinning Maniac is unable to ask for anything.
No really can you ask for things now like a raise or a date? Or do you hear in your head "Well GM, we were going to give you a raise but since you asked we've changed our minds".
ChickenDinero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not OP, but you pretty much nailed it. :'(
It's a crappy headspace, but change (with great support and difficulty) is possible. :)
notabigmelvillecrowd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:04:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I am very small. And I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress that I am under."
roostertree ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:24:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 7, on my birthday, I asked my estranged not-even-part-time father if he'd gotten me something for my birthday. Keep in mind that it was long past noon, with no decorations or even someone in his household wishing me a happy birthday.
"Not if you ask, you don't."
Never mentioned my birthday again. Never received a gift. Thanks, Reddit; I thought I was over it. (Just kidding, I know I'll never be over it.)
ChickenDinero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That might be true, but you could possibly turn not getting over it into remembering never to behave like that (what made you so sad) to other people? Not like it is easy or anything, but that is what I am trying to do in my life. Just saying. This thread is cathartic, whew!
Kiyoko504 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:35:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or the classic five dollar toy, oh "no we can't afford it" mom buys a fifty dollar dress.
Naturage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:57:07 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This really hits home. I recall trying my best to balance between reminding my parents they promised a treat and not annoying them by constant whining to get it.
Whoever says pre-school or school are the easiest days of your life has definitely forgotten the struggles of a 5 year old.
vinney1369 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I HATED this. It's such a cop out from parents who can't stand up to their kids. If you want to say no, then say it. Don't blame the kid for asking! Their needs and wants are TOTALLY different from an adult, and it's not reasonable to expect a child with a couple years of life experience to read your f'ing mind.
snort Grrr...Now I'm all riled up. Time to go clean something....
uttplug ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:19:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
parents consistently act like illogical asses while kids always seem confused by the moral inconsistency; therefore, kids have more abilities with logic; therefore, accept my child overlords
10GuyIsDrunk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:39:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How the hell could anyone, with even the slightest iota of intelligent thought, believe that banning a child from asking for things is a good idea. Just thinking about the potentially profound retardation of the child's social skills is sickening to me.
Ban whining, sure, but asking? Pointing something out? What the fuck.
byecyclehelmet ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:43:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's extremely bad parenting.
Canadian_bacon1172 ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 15:47:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did this as a camp counselor, at the end of the day, we give the kids freezies. They're not supposed to choose their freezie colour, and I usually gave each kid what was at the top of the pile. If they asked for the colour they wanted, and it was at the top of the pile, I would go out of my way to grab a different colour.
GooseRider960 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:31:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey, what do you want?" "insert random color here" "WELL TOO FUCKING BAD, YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO WANT ANYTHIG!"
Seriously, what the fuck. That's an asshole move there. Kids aren't allowed to want anything other then what they give you? How the fuck would you feel if you went to a restaurant and asked for a steak and got the complete opposite I f what you wanted? Like why the fuck would you take away that choice? There's nothing more remotely nice or good about that.
Canadian_bacon1172 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let me rephrase the original post, we were allowed to give then there choice as a reward for being good, if the kid was good, i'd ask them before hand what colour they wanted. The group of kids I was working with were a mess, and more often than not the kid asking had been bad that day. If a kids been calling you names, throwing rocks, not listening, etc., your not gonna give them the colour they want, that reward is reserved for the good ones.
GooseRider960 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That seems much better.
buterbetterbater ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:46:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wtf
Canadian_bacon1172 ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 16:54:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's so wtf about that.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:24:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why aren't the kids allowed to choose what color they want?
Canadian_bacon1172 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because then you'll run out of the good colours, the kids that didn't get their choice will get upset.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:13:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
null_work ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not particularly, as there's always chance. If kids were told not to ask for a particular color, and then they ask, why do they deserve that color?
jedi168 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Going out of the way to get another color is the issue. Just say aloud that they got lucky their preferred color was on top.
ididntjustdothat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:40:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you would be the preppy blonde douche villain in 1980s camp movies
Iorith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's when you figure out to ask for your least favorite color.
timewontfly ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You get what you get and you don't have a fit. My 7-year-old is actually pretty good about this.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:43:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was about 15, I asked my dad to take the parent lock off my computer. It would block webpages because of the word 'snigger'. I asked him politely about once a week and it never got done. Finally, I saw my little brother have a temper-tantrum and immediately get what he wanted. So I had a temper-tantrum about the fact I had been asking nicely for months and apparently the only way to get what you want is to have a temper tantrum about it. Dad fixed it the next day.
grocket ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:34:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
.
artificial3089 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:50:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, nothing worse than being reminded you forgot to do "science" with your 5 year old as you tuck them into bed the night before you go back to work. :(
fuck-dat-shit-up ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:06:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When they do remind you just act really thankful, but in a non patronizing way (which can be hard sometimes).
rangarangaranga ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:09:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still remember all the things that we should do later, anticipating, dreaming about, thinking about. But as an adult, whenever someone says "well do it later" i just take it as an polite way of saying no thanks.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:45:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I brought that up with my mom, she had an emotional breakdown and said it was because she never had the money to do all the things she told us...
reammachine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:32:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I say this all the time to anyone with the intentions of actually doing said activity, but life gets in the way a lot.
WkendLabRat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:59:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother had a legless plushie that he wanted sewed and my mom kept saying "later". Once he got impatient and told her "mom it has been two years". She noticed it was true and laughed a lot, and only then sewed it right away
toothofjustice ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:31:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To kids, later means "in 30 seconds". They have a totally warped perspective of time from adults. What I do is set an alarm on my phone with the kid in front of me "we'll do it when the alarm goes off" is something they can grasp easily.
ChickenDinero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Huh. Nicely done!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:35:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
AmericanCrabApple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, well, but they'll need to learn whining and throwing a tantrum because they didn't get what they want doesn't work for me. Learning how to calm themselves and speak to me like a reasonable person will yield the best results.
And they don't get upset with me. It's nothing personal. They're allowed to have emotions and be upset and disappointed but they're not allowed to act like a little shit for it. Nothing surprising about it.
stoicbirch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
About 50% of the time whilst playing neo-tokyo (and someone complained), if our team lets 1 goal in, they usually try to forfeit/leave. You're telling me I should lose ranked points because of some trashy people playing on a poorly designed map? 10/10 infallible logic, would suggest others read.
xxiLink ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:43:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Later" is a relative term. Like "tomorrow." Makes Annie a bit more depressing.
RNZack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
AmericanCrabApple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And I love you, random redditor.
TheTeflonRon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:13:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of saying "we can do that later," say "remind me later and we can do that."
G8kpr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This. I often forget too. Or worse is that our weekends seem to get so booked up so quickly that I promise to do something, or organize a play date, and it just doesn't happen. I hate letting them down that way.
shortCakeSlayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a new mother, I can totally see this happening. No malicious intent, just holy-fuck-i-run-two-businesses-and-sometimes-i-might-forget-shit. I like your approach and will probably steal it.
not-very-creativ3 ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 16:21:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So in August of 2001 we were on a trip to New York and while on the subway I saw that the World Trade Center was a stop on our way. I wanted to go see it. My mom said I could come back later, on another trip with friends. I never got any friends.
Lying bitch.
Baba_dook_dook_dook ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:30:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom did 9/11
someguywithanaccount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We were there in 2000 and were going to go up it, but decided not to because it was cloudy. Said we'd do it some other time.
I did get to up the new WTC, which is really cool.
kindaconceited ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 14:41:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually later did come, you just forgot to ask them about it again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I didn't mean now. I said we can do that later. Sheesh."
longjohnsmcgee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, they could, as inplied by the "you can later" but they dont, not a lie at all just a way to tell you no.
SilverAg11 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:02:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someday never comes
Clapaludio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WHY DID YOU REMIND ME TO BE SAD :'(
KeyserSoze96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someday you'll understand
patentspatented ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:09:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always say that hoping my daughter will forget about whatever frustratingly involved project she wants to get into ("Mommy I want to take all these bath toys down to the pool even though it's 55F outside!" "Mommy I want to dump out all my Legos and build a space ship with them and I need you to help me but I'm going to yell at you the whole time that you're doing it wrong!").
It usually works. And when it doesn't ... ugh. Spaceship time. Because I did say we could do it later, and I don't want to be a liar. Sigh.
yaosio ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:25:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She sounds like people on chat in any multiplayer game.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:00:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
timewontfly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I definitely use "maybe later" with my husband more often than I do with my kids.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
timewontfly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always intend for there to be a later. But then kids and work and house stuff intervene, and then you add in body image issues, and it's just the easiest thing to push aside. I'm really working on being better about it.
superb_1996 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:09:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ughhh that is the worst. My mum used to always say the words "inshallah," which translates to God willing in Arabic. I hated that word because it basically meant NO, but still gave you hope.
"Hey mum, can we please go to the park on Friday?" "Inshallah" "Will you take us to the cinemas?" "Inshallah"
JUST SAY NO. /end rant
seriouslees ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:44:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a lie though. It's just an empty and meaningless truism. It'd be a lie if she said "We will do that later."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:01:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This! #Grammar.
FainOnFire ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:03:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This one so much. I always tried to ask my mom for really simple stuff too, like can we watch this movie, can we watch this on tv, can we play this board game, can we play this video game, can we walk around outside. Fucking can we do ANYTHING together PLEASE? "Maybe later, darling." She either read books until she fell asleep or fell asleep shortly after and then it was just me and my Playstation until bedtime. And by bedtime I mean I honored the bedtime she had set for me by myself because she never once woke up to tuck me in or anything.
uttplug ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:16:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it's disgusting how willfully so many parents will just lie to get their kids to shut up.
uttplug ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:17:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
preganancy classes should include rigorous training in ethics and if you fail - No Baby For U
BlLE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid, I went over to a friend's house and was completely shocked when his mother would say, "sure honey, we can do that another day" or "we can do it later ok?" whenever my friend asked her for something (like going to SeaWorld, the movies, or blockbuster to rent GTA San Andreas). My parents would just say straight up "no."
I was even more shocked when he would start whining or pitching a fit after she said it. I was like, "dude? Your mom just said we could get pizza later, wtf is the problem?"
I had no idea that when parents said that stuff, it basically meant it would never happen.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:17:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BlLE ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:53:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Awh that's sad :(
Sounds like he really wants a puppy.
steerpike88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:14:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
to be fair dogs are a lot of hard work and if both parents work it's not fair on the dog. I have a small child and I'd like for him to have a dog one day but I'll have to work full time soon and I know we probably shouldn't have a dog. still it's kind of mean to string him along.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:49:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking McDonald's play place, every time. "We can go next time"
timmymac ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:00:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always told my kids that we could do it on Tuesday before they were old enough to fully understand the days of the week.
SKNK_Monk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:05:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I now assume 'later' means 'no'. That was a bone of contention between the ex and I. She got upset when I recognised that she had no intent to ever do the thing.
ecclectic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:14:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The song "someday never comes" didn't really have that much meaning until I had kids and realized that there are things that I might never actually get to do with or show my children.
Yet I still have to tell them "later," "another day," and "not right now" because life is complicated and sometimes I'm not telling them that I'm really saying it to my own inner child, who doesn't care about work, or cleaning the house or doing the dishes and just wants to go and play too.
Bear_Taco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:03:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry. Maybe some other time, Sasuke." flicks forehead
:(
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:12:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is why from a young age I was drawing up contracts and having my mom sign for every "later" that was not honored.
SonnyVabitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can do it whenever you want now, which is in fact later.
Blaze_fox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
no its just valve time
79Blazer4x4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Later" is 10+ years later when you're an adult and go do it yourself.
aaaaaaaarrrrrgh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Those kids will make excellent programmers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This explains why Metallica wrote a song on this.
ihitokage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely, or I will buy it for you later.
Gsusruls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As an engineer, this sounds an awful lot like
# TODO - FIXFIX revisit to ...
Yeah, that's never going to happen.
fistisalsoanadverb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that all women?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend does this to me
cyclebiker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad would always say "Let's not, and say we did!"
chewbacccastan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother would do this. She'd say like, "we can do that this weekend" then the weekend comes and I ask her about whatever it was and then get "I never said we could do that" This is why I have trust issues
BlackHeart89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's one that my dad would always say...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was little I would always ask my mom if we could go to Disney world. Her response was always "we will when you're a bit older so you can remember it better."
I'm 21.... Still waiting on my trip....
TheySayItDonBLikItIs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Tomorrow is a relative term, we're never getting there. Makes Annie more depressing." - Bo Burnham
Ruval ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My son is awesome and he pre-emptively answers for us, by phrasing the questions as "Someday, can we go do X?"
Yes son. "Someday"
OChaten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Too true
slocke200 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Later should be my girlfriends new nickname.
Im_your_Dad_AMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not just mothers
j0nsc0tt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll see".
anomalous_cowherd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents had the catch-22 phrases "I want doesn't get" and "Well you never asked so how would we know?"
I couldn't win. But I'll get to choose the retirement home...
melance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So John Fogerty was correct.
Shewhoisgroovy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend still does this to me. If he ever tells me we'll do something"tomorrow" I know he means never...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Currently experiencing this
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I believe the expression is someday never comes
Nemesis_Bucket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This explained how I learned to do chores "later".
RemyMill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhhhh, now synthesize this saying with going to the mall! My mother never followed through! Lolol, but now I understand momma...
modstms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Mother would always say, "We'll do that tomorrow." To this day, I always make people repeat what they say six times, if it has something to do with what they are doing tomorrow, and eighteen if it involves me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents did this to me on a road trip when I was real little. We were in Florida, I saw signs they had Disney Land as we got closer to signs saying leaving Florida. Said can we go, can we go??? "Sure, but later." I didn't put 2 and 2 together, but we lived in Utah. Still never been to Disney Land.
ITSupportGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is your mom my ex?
Lovely_Carnation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I recently realized my parents did this because we didn't have the money to do the thing, not because they didn't want me to do it but because telling a small kid "no we can't afford it" is kind of hard
errorme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This became a joke in my family. There was a carnival that used to visit our city once a year and I always wanted to go. Parents always said we'd go next year, but it stopped traveling sometime while I was in elementary school before we ever went. Honestly I forgot about it till high school, but it became the reason why my childhood was 'terrible'.
P0sitive_Outlook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pissing ZAKK at work!!
"I'll clean that later"
"I'll move that later"
"I'll finish that later"
No Zakk I'LL clean/move/finish that for you after you've gone to hide in the toilets ten minutes before the end of the day!!
Siannath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Ya veremos".
omg_so_innapropriate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe"
LelBluescreen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We were supposed to pit up a fence in out yard to hide a trailer when it's not in use. It would only cost $450 max, but she keeps putting it off. It's been over 4 months since I we first came up with the idea.
Dr_Winston_O_Boogie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My 2.5 year old has started using that on us.
US: "Honey, do you want to do <thing we want her to do that she doesn't want to do.>"
Her: "Maybe later."
ilgiocoso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My son turned ten just the other day He said, "Thanks for the ball, dad; come on, let's play Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today, I got a lot to do." He said, "That's okay." And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah You know I'm gonna be like him."
Bassethounds4ever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right along, "maybe" and "we'll see".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sunday?!?" "No, someday"
littlered2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a parent I've tried hard not to say things and not follow through, so this week I've had to paint my 4yo kids face before I go to work...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Extremely guilty of this.
Charles_Grodin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I ask my wife for a bj.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
CCR - Someday Never Comes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwNuQulK6N0
Helixheel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My 6 year old nephew replied to, "We'll do it in the future.", with, "The future isn't real!!"
Wise beyond his years.
moration ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me, "Maybe"
Kids, "That means NO!"
Never_Been_Missed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Husbands get that one too.... :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My family and I went to Universal Studios Orlando when I was a kid. ALL I wanted to do was visit Nickelodeon studio and maybe see a taping of like double dare or whatever. All day the said "later" "later" and when they were ready it was closed (Nickelodeon closed earlier than the park). I was SOOO pissed I cried. Yeah...they wanted to ride the E.T. ride 3 more times before hitting Nickelodon...bastards. I still give my mom and step dad shit for it.
Contada582 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Will see" = "Not on your fucking life" -my wife
FuffyKitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I will forever remember the second ceramic 'my little pony' that got put away for 'later' that I never got to do. You got the press the clay in a mold, paint it, put in a tail, and fire it. I still have the first one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or tomorrow ! I must still lived the same day for now 21 years.
AccidntlyFkdYoSister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe she is still waiting till you break your arms. Who knows.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or someday, "we'll go to Disney, One day" I'm 24 and never been.
depressingcommentary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This applies to the husbands as well.
PorousPie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When kids grow up, this becomes the most common lie told to mothers.
nunya__bidness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Conversation between my wife and the grandkids. But when? Soon. When will soon be now? Later.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When my mom smoked: "After this cigarette" which then turns into chain smoking.
After mom quit smoking: "After my nap" which then turns into a coma.
MarlinMr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know "later" means when they are old and want to do it with you. You better be there.
MentallyFunstable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just like her. Lol
JueJueBean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 26, my mother still does this.
Wajina_Sloth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 16 my mom said she would teach me how to drive, its been over 2 years and it never happened.
SmallChildArsonist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do a worse thing. I will never commit to anything with my kids. The pizza could be on it's way to my house, and I still won't tell them we're having pizza for dinner. "We'll see" is probably what I say to my kids the most.
It's a defense mechanism, cause my wife does the opposite. She promises them things that are only slightly probable. And then we have to deal with the kids being upset later when it can't happen. So I go polar opposite. I'm still supportive and whatnot, I still pull through a large majority of the time, but I swear to God, I'm probably gonna put "We'll see" on my kids' wedding invitation RSVP.
commiessuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to always say "not today" in a sort of happy, sing song way. I use it on my kid all the time.
Dankmemer64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He he he, nice ;)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad said he would come back later..
j0y0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She didn't say you would do it later, just that you could, so it's not technically a lie.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I tell my kids I'll think about it. My five year old will say can we do it tomorrow? If I agree he will happily go on his way and promptly forget about it. If I say No it is a complete meltdown. Then with my nine year old he will ask and I'll tell him give me a minute and it's the end of the world or he will literally stand there and count to sixty.
Draiko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That also works if you're running a large company or you're a politician.
TheNorthern1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like my girlfriend and sex hahaha.......
Normandy117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On the other hand, my mom likes to ask "Can you do this for me later?" when the later she's referring to is actually five seconds later.
Rocky_Bukkake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
to be honest i do this with people, people do this with me. we say 'yea later' and later sometimes does happen, sometimes never! it's weird but hey we find our way.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I started a list of things my parents said they'd do later. They did not appreciate me gifting them said list on mom's birthday with the words "Get mom a present" at the bottom of the list.
-cDJ- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"See you later."
:'(
sharpey95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Later never comes because it's always now.
xxfay6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a story where I got told "no" as in "later", which inadvertently turned to "no".
My elementary was taken to a dad-son Bowling day, with my grandpa filling in (work). When they say on the PA that they were going to give tours into the back for those interested in seeing the system, with the first half lanes going in a few minutes followed by the others later.
I asked my grandpa if I could go (we were on the first half), but a couple of times he tells me no. After a while, depressed and defeated I go to the restroom, while I overhear the announcement asking the second half to line up.
I come back and the first thing I see is my lane going to the back, followed by the door closed. While I went to the restroom, everybody else on the table heard the PA (didn't notice myself they ignored the first two), chose to go and left me and my grandpa behind.
So while I guess people forget, it doesn't make it any less meaningful for us especially when there's nothing else much more meaningful for us. I know they didn't do it on purpose, but that doesn't mean I don't get extremely mad whenever I remember.
MeSoHornsby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Evidence of this that I'll never let my parents live down. We went to universal studios one year and on the way in was Nickelodeon Studios and I wanted to go in so bad. My mom said we'll go in there later on our way out.
Guess who didn't get to enjoy Nickelodeon studios.
its_sizzle ยท 239 points ยท Posted at 14:41:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We have that at home"
Every time I wanted some kind of junk food or treat at like a movies or amusement park or something of that nature....we literally never had that item at home :(
Manan6619 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:19:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like a burger or ice cream at home would be the same as something from McDonald's or Friendly's anyway. Hmph.
RecycledEternity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aw, man... I miss Friendly's. I don't know if they exist in California, but if they did, I'd want to visit ASAP.
Weep2D2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:57:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL Disney Land moved to /u/its_sizzle 's house.
townportal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:54:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I use this one. I feel extremely guilty, not because I don't want them having treats, but I don't have a job and can't afford treats at every stop :(
eazolan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:30:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why is it so hard to say you can't afford it?
I would think that it would drive home the point that you need to make good money to afford good things. And they'll start thinking about how to do that.
humansandwich ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:46:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on how old your kids are, they might not really understand what that means. Also, my mom told me when I was 8 that she didn't have lunch money for the rest of the week because we couldn't afford it. She wasn't being completely serious, she was just frustrated because we were beginning to scrape the bottom of the barrel for a while, but it caused me sooooooo much stress for a while. I remember saving up money from the tooth fairy or wherever I picked up loose change and thinking that now I could eat lunch when my parents finally do go broke.
eazolan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:40:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's a difference between stressing kids out about not being able to afford the necessities of life. Like food or a home.
Versus being able to afford extra things like ice cream or McDonalds.
humansandwich ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:45:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But they might not know the difference, that's my point.
eazolan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:10:07 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I find most adults don't know the difference.
Tzintzuntzan24 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:40:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother was honest when we couldn't afford something. If there was a toy I wanted and my parents couldn't afford it, my mom would straight up tell me. I would never throw a tantrum or anything of the sort. I would feel a little bit bad for asking but since I was respectful and well-behaved she would get me some of the stuff I wanted when she could afford it, even if my dad would get mad at her if he found out. I still respect and appreciate that to this day.
eazolan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right. As long as it's not a necessity of life. Like food, clothing, and shelter. Not having money for that will start making the kid worry.
Hyp3rwolfies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wants a piece of cake, parents say we have that at home, looks in fridge and there is only fruits and veggies
Ecomania ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:44:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I asked for food because we were shopping all day my mum replied "At home we have bread, you can eat that as soon as we are back" then we went on shopping for a few more hours. Thank you mum now I have to remind me to eat because my body doesn't tell my anymore weather I'm hungry or not.
DraconisMarch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:13 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand why some parents are simply unable to say "no."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They couldn't afford it and didn't want you to know.
WombatOfWar ยท 6887 points ยท Posted at 13:54:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love both of you equally." Pffft little brother ain't got shit on me
fuzzipoo ยท 2499 points ยท Posted at 14:20:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure my mom loves my little brother more than me.
It's okay though. He's pretty awesome.
[deleted] ยท 831 points ยท Posted at 14:50:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
amished ยท 91 points ยท Posted at 17:10:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, it's me, your brother.
[deleted] ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 17:17:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:55:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sam?
x_JUMPER_CABLE_MOM_x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hey it's me your mom
pablonoriega ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 16:52:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
fuzzipoo and tubbleman, what a cute couple
youwantmooreryan ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 17:12:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think thats legal
you_got_fragged ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 17:23:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not with that attitude
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/wincest vs. r/losecest
NSFW-OL
Error101systembreach ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:15:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can't confirm.
Source: Am stranger.
advertentlyvertical ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
people are strange, when you're a stranger...
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:09:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, my little brother's great. Me, however? I'm a piece of shit. No doubt he's the favorite.
Fr33_Lax ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:18:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't be the favorite, I don't even call them regularly.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:50:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know I probably won't when I move out, either.
NotParticularlyGood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was the favorite until I stopped calling. My brother has been in horrible legal trouble for over ten years now so calls my mom whenever he needs bail. She adores it.
VIP_Ender98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I live with my mom and brother and barely talk to either of them. Now my brother's travelling around the world (he's advertising Bossaball, wich is pretty fucking cool) and my mom's been kinda depressed since he left.
TheDeathOstrich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you my older brother? Because that's spot on...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I might be O.O
kennyl ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 16:57:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No one ever likes the middle child though.
Source: Am middle child.
APiousCultist ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 17:33:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
downvotes out of dislike
nazzyc ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 17:35:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's so middle child of you
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:04:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jokes on you, my mom only had 2 children! puts on sunglasses
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I will downvote anyone who mentions downvoting, including myself.
NealMcBeal__NavySeal ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:46:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Truth. Am middle child. Was only child given up for adoption.
MarieAquanette ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:39:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:(
Tasdilan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Christ thats cold. I hope youre doing better now and hopefully still have good contact with your siblings
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:48:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a middle child to and my mum keeps deciding I'm a different mental health disorder every week! fun and games!
Horkpork ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:16:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh Jan.
anguas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My middle brother is the favorite. It's cool though, he's awesome.
Imbucare ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:26:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the middle child and have been my dad's clear favorite for as long as I can remember. Once we grew up, I became my mom's favorite too after my older brother gave the whole family the brush off. Sorry to my little bro, though, he was never anyone's favorite..
Tasdilan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Disagreeing in my case. Youngest of three brothers, my middle brother did take a year abroad in america during school, finished uni relatively fast with a master, has a good job, is married. Preeeetty sure hes the favourite child by a LOT and i cant blame my parents.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:55:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't say never. I'm the oldest in my family, it seems to me that my parents like my younger (middle) sister more than me.
imdungrowinup ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:59:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Both my parents are middle children. Guess out of their 3 kids who they love the most?
Maximo9000 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:57:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can also confirm.
Source: Am neglected older brother. :(
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:21:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're not neglected, you're just more capable.
Now go and play, <little brother's name>
Emmia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a trans girl who was always name-swapped with my older brother, that's the worst part.
aboxacaraflatafan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:47:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone likes the middle child the best, when they remember that there is a middle child.
Source: Am both middle child and most likable/awesome. Also super humble.
BigOlBurger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:53:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't say I've ever met a middle child who would agree. But, good for you if that's the case for your family.
LachlantehGreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hey its me ur brother
ConVict1337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm youngest of five.
SUPR3M3B3ING ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm confirmation.
Source: Younger brother is more awesome than me
Joald ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you, unlike my fucking piece of shit little fucktard of a brother. He's a good kid.
CucumberGod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hey its me ur brother
Thassodar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wrong kid died.
Yousif_man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hey it's me ur brother
atmorrison ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey it's me ur awsum little brother
Storytellerbobfan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you related to ne?
JashanTheCreator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:40:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm.
Source: Am mother
Kevin_O_Loacvick ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:50:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've read somewhere mothers do love their kids the same, but tend to care a bit more about the youngest kids (usually sons), and I can confirm this since I'm the younger son that had extremely rebellious puberty, and still am a bit hard to handle, and my mom still tolerates me, when, if my older brother was like that, he'd be dead and inside the house until he gets married.
Jushak ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:11:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my case I got off everything easy because my older sister was very rebellious and I never cared enough about most things to bother rebelling.
Hell, apparently even as a baby I was the docile one that just happily slept days away where as my sister was the kind that kept my parents awake all night long.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:51:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. Am the older sister and my younger brother is definitely the more loved one. But it's ok. My mom and I have a special relationship on our own and I'm my dad's favorite and he's way more generous than my mom.
I am employed full time and my dad still insists on giving me $50 for "spending money" often. I say no, but still.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:42:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She absolutely does. Moms always love the youngest the most. Can confirm as the youngest of three and only boy. I could do no wrong.
mybustersword ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:20:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Idk, I'm the oldest and my mom is all about me
deedlede2222 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:25:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the middle child and I'm tied for favorite with my little sister. I'm literally the best.
lorraine_baines_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bro?
Sonicsamuria ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:10:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Strange, never appeared to be the case with my mother.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You were adopted.
Sonicsamuria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what's more depressing, this if it were true or the fact that I wish it were.
Etherius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:43:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ehhh not entirely true.
My mom loves the oldest the most in our family... because she's the only girl.
Tasdilan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother allways wanted a daughter. Were three brothers, no sister.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My little brother was the golden child, got away with EVERYTHING and my entire family coddled him for so long. Now, he's not a bad guy, but he's extremely immature and doesn't have his shit together. My mother finally saw the error of her ways recently. I know she loves us both, but I just moved up the totem pole to the favorite and I gotta say, it feels good man.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I live with my grandparents and parents (I'm the oldest) my brother is the grandparents' favorite, but I'm the parents' favorite.
disappointingsad16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can unconfirm. Youngest and only girl. Mom hates me. Maybe it's because I'm girl; maybe it's because my brothers have a different dad (but she's still married to my dad so??? :/)
Source: Mother loves my druggie middle brother with 2 kids at age 19 more than she loves me. Don't get me started on my oldest brother. He's like Jesus level godly to her despite being a high school drop out and still living at home at age 21.
buster_de_beer ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:30:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a younger brother (I'm taller, so not little) I can confirm that the youngest is treated differently, more lenient. But the first child is and always will be the first child. But to my mom we are all her favorite. Even my sister, the middle child. Of course the youngest can get away with the most shit....
delmar42 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:56:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My older sister was the one who took the brunt of my parents' extreme displeasure when she stopped going to church. It was the "You'll go to church as long as you're under my roof" type of response. She started lying to them about going (she'd go drive somewhere for a hike, or whatever), then got out of the house when she went to college. Sometime in late high school, I stopped going to church, and I didn't even have to lie about it. My parents weren't happy with it, but I didn't get the same extreme treatment as my sister. I would go on Christmas and Easter for years just to make them somewhat happy, then stopped doing even that. Now, I'll go to some of their Knights (and Ladies) of Columbus events mainly because I like to help people out when I can. I don't go to church, though. As a female, I have issues with the Catholic church.
Vydor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You both made the right decision.
AptCasaNova ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:37:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a first child, there are way more pictures of me, even if I got away with less
_Myip_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Little big Bruder?
BonaFidee ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:42:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Youngest child always seems to get preferential treatment.
iamasecretthrowaway ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:45:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is true, until we grow up to be disappointments.
Ams-Ent ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:10:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish.. But then again i was a horrible cunt as a kid..
quarterto ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:37:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hey its me ur awesome brother
Saltysweetcake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:02:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aww, that was sweet. It probably changes, it usually depends on who the "easier" child is at the time.
chalkwalk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Mom bought presents for all of my friends on their birthdays and generally forgot mine.
justyourbarber ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:36:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My little brother is an annoying sack of shit. They still love him more than me. I'm a failure though, so they should.
QuickBowROTMG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom doesn't have favorites, but my older brother is most definitely my dads favorite.
Easterling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom likes my brother more and she never hides it, it is kind of funny.
My brother is a great guy, kind of stupid sometimes but a great guy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it like this everywhere though?
TheAmazingApathyMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do sorta make my older siblings look like garbage.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Mom loves my little brother more than me. It's a good thing too because he just turned 31 and still lives with her.
Pizzarolls23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey its me, ur little brother
Levitacus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that you brother?
crazyjavi87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel the exact opposite about my older brother. Pretty sure they love him more than me, and it's because he's more awesome than me. At least that's how I feel.
rps_killerwhale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Awe someone needs a hug :(
Lady_Anarchy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
same, only my sister is a bitch.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're acting way too laid back and casual about this
machingunwhhore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just going to assume you are my older brother and say thanks
KryptonianNerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Idk I'm a little brother and my big bro is way better than me. I get given cooler shit than he did but that's just because we have more money now, he's definitely the favourite
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a favourite child, I feel like shit when one of my siblings feels like they're treated unequally.
'Where is tready93? I haven't seen him for a week.' Said to my sister who she hasn't spoken to for over 3 weeks.
JoeRolldamn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TRIIIGEEERRRDDD
dblagbro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If she loved you so much she wouldn't have needed another child so you're probably right.
youlesees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You and me both, I made all the mistakes so he simply had to do the complete opposite. It works though, now the expectations are so spectacularly low for me that being a functional adult is somewhat of an achievement and he is smart.
bangbangIshotmyself ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually try to make my parents prefer my brother. I know I can deal with them not liking me as much, I just don't know if he can. I want him to be happy so I make my parents like him more if I can.
jcraig312 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love that you think your little brother is awesome. I hope my daughter's continue to love each other as they do now. But they're both pretty young. And girls. And girls can be mean lol.
rjoker103 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm: am the oldest.
FerociousOreos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am the little brother.. I also believe that my mom loves me more.
rdewalt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Many years ago, not long before my father passed away, he and I drove across the country. I was moving to CA and he'd always wanted to go. So, I took him.
After a long day of "There isn't shit to see in Kansas unless you love fields" (seriously, we'd joke about how the state was so boring, Kansas City left to become part of Missouri) We stopped at a bottle shop and proceeded to unwind with a formidable bottle of Brain Lubricant.
After we were both quite thoroughly smished, He admitted that both my younger siblings were absolutely, positively treated far, far more as favorites by my mom, than I ever was. And that I was right all those years ago when I called her on it.
He said he didn't remember us talking, so I never told him what he confirmed. And my mom wonders why I don't call often at all.
yertr3y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I agree 100% with this. My mom loves my little brother like 1 million times more than me. It hurts sometimes. Ah well....I'm the practice son.
fisch09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad has a chart and points system.
Incognito_Whale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of four children I'm the second most liked, third most enjoyed, first most appreciated, and by far the biggest disappointment =) all pertaining to my mother's point of view. I'm pretty sure she loves us all the same though. I think losing any of the four of us would be equally as devastating to her.
trevmiller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesse Pinkman?
ImAPixiePrincess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom had 3 girls and her youngest was her only son. He was definitely the favorite.
Troll_TollCollector ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine thinks he's awesome, as I'm in his friends group, I've got so much shit on that prick
AppleDrops ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are awesome too. I can tell by your attitude.
teezyla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Vice-versa
The_Legend_of_Jaelon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same with me. Except he's annoying and not awesome.
AugustoLegendario ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey- you're a beautiful person.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My YoungER brother is a bamf. YoungEST brother should burn in hell.
juicebroom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:53 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My younger sister is a shitfuck and my parents still love her more.
nbqt2015 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have this creeping feeling that our mom is more proud of me because I started my life and moved states away with my husband, but loves my older sibling more because of a crazy run of bad health and worse luck.
When one child is relatively fine and the other one is struggling, you gotta focus on the one that's struggling. I don't really mind because I want the best for my sibling too!
Cheetoh_dust_bunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What a good sport.
philish123212 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
know* I am in the same boat buddy.
popsicleturneddown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Opposite with me. She loves my older brother so much, but he's a piece of shit.
Iwanttobeanairbender ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As the more loved little brother, it's not because I'm awesome, it's because you're a rotten cunt.
Aurorabeamblast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well...I know for sure this isn't my sister's username.
T3hN1nj4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in the same boat. I'm from a family of four (EDIT: 4 kids, two adults. Family of 6 technically) and my parents love the whoopsie kid the most.
I mean he got all the good genes so I don't blame them one bit.
sellyberry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boys are 16 months apart and I worry about this a lot.
Right now I like the baby more, he's quieter, somehow cleaner even tho he spends most of his time literally rolling around on the floor, he stays where I put him for the most part. I still get to cuddle and he'll fall asleep on me and it's so sweet.
Toddler is learning to talk tho, he says stuff that's sort of phonetically right but not real words yet. Pancake is pak kak. And he will do "dude!" And 'what did you do?' If something falls he'll state/inquire "boken"?! He squeakes the sounds of "where's Korben?" "Deh ee ii" there he is.
Ok, they are both amazing for different reasons and I guess I'll be alright. :)
diverdux ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 17:24:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They do love you equally, they just like you differently...
Fabgrrl ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:57:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, that is 100% true! I'd run into a burning house for either one of them, but there's only one I'd be willing to endure a weekend alone with.
alexbhood ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:52:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't help but feel like that's not a thing. Like it sounds like a lame excuse to not have to say you don't love your kids equally.
diverdux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ask parents and go from there...
diesel_stinks_ ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:40:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
From my mother it would be: "I love all of you equally."
Then she would proceed to dump all collective resources into pleasing my little brother. There were four of us, he was the only one who didn't struggle through early adulthood.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:17:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am a middle child so my older and younger brother are both spoiled. My parents bought both of them a car when they turned 16 I had to buy my own car at 18 with no help.
[deleted] ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 15:55:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My Grandma definitely has a pecking order with me, my brother and cousins. The order is:
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 16:31:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you! It seems like your whole family, including you, are all hard workers. You keep doing you
saikron ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:50:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gran will change her tune come a few Christmases from now.
neanderthalensis ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:24:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure we've got a similar family dynamic. Grandfather's pecking order:
Sister on top. She's the eldest grandchild. Attended a top university. Became a doctor, just like my grandfather was.
Younger female cousin. Smart, very academic. Getting her masters/PhD.
Younger male cousin. Smart, studying CS in university. No doubt will be a successful engineer one day.
Me. University dropout. Taught myself how to code, so I spend my time bouncing between a stable software development career and traveling the world for months at a time/existential dread. No clue where I'm going in this life.
jaywalk98 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:52:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That actually sounds likr an adventure. Come 40 years from now your family will wish they traveled like you are now.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:12:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure on other countries. But in the UK, you can do AAT then ACCA (or whatever your professional qualification of choice is) or just start at ACCA and do the foundation level.
Accountancy degree is completely not needed in UK.
dizzi800 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a huge family on my mom's side - so heardgin that there are only two cousins is strange.
McGuineaRI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
With my family, if you pack up and move hours away it's seen as not such a good thing. It's almost like abandoning the family. It could be up to ethnicity, I'm not sure about english people, but with italians they think something went wrong if one of the people in the family takes off like that. Maybe she thinks you abandoned everyone and that makes her upset as a grandmother. Or maybe not. Maybe I don't know you or your family and nothing I said is relevant. I just have my experiences.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
With all due respect, fuck her. You don't need anybody's approval.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing as I said to the other guy:
I'm not sure on other countries. But in the UK, you can do AAT then ACCA (or whatever your professional qualification of choice is) or just start at ACCA and do the foundation level.
Accountancy degree is completely not needed in UK.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got lucky cause all of my family did shit in school before me so when I did ok but still dropped out at 17 (UK) and got an IT Apprenticeship with some Grades I still have the highest education.
runhaterand ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:06:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant. Right next to each other in my front page.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:38:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know I'm my mom's favorite as well. My brother can be a pain in the ass sometimes.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:27:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
adiemus123456 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:04:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Both my mother and my father loves my youngest sister the most. Source: I am the eldest son.
HelioA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:59:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Source?
SnailLordNeon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:27:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://healthland.time.com/2011/09/22/favoritism-why-mom-likes-you-or-one-of-your-siblings-best/
HelioA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks.
MinisterforFun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So if it's just me and my older brother, then who does my father like?
fancyfacespacecase ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother's favorite is totally my brother (the oldest of the three of us) but my father has a closer relationship to my sister (oldest girl) and favors her a lot more than me (youngest of the three). However, my sister was the youngest for ten years, until I was born. Perhaps the bond had already been forged and I couldn't pry my way in there.
PurelyApplied ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:04:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, I'm not calling you a liar or anything, especially with that link down below, but "scientifically proven" makes you sound like an infomercial.
"There is some compelling evidence" is how a scientist would say it.
GaryLLLL ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:21:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love both my children equally and always will.
However there are many days where I certainly like one of my kids much more than the other.
Shog64 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:47:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this makes more sense. I never heard about favorites in my (huge) family more that one kid is sometimes more annoying/etc. than the other one depending on the situation.
Maniacalmama ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:03:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My little brother was always very clearly the favorite even though my parents always claimed otherwise. I can't remember him getting punished for anything.
My second child is ten months old. I'm waiting to see if I'll develop a favorite.
itallblends ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You will
FerrisTM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My little brother and I sort of switch between who's the favourite of our parents depending on who's doing better in life. Right now, I'm both of my parents' favourite. We both openly wish for the other's destruction in order to make us look better by comparison.
I love my brother.
raunchyfartbomb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly my mom loves me the most, since I'm the oldest.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's hard to compare. Each kid has their own unique personality. Some of you are more pleasant to be around but if it came down to like a volcano and can only choose one, probably just make us all die trying to save everyone.
Amanat361 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My older sister is my mom's favorite (she won't admit it ever) probably because she is the only girl in the family (3 boys 1 girl)
wickerman316 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm usually in 3rd place out of 4 kids. We know who's in first and last. My sister and I switch places between 2nd and 3rd depending on recent history.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I only see one Lavern Freddy.
skylarmt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother would follow this up with "that doesn't mean I have to like you"
Tinderkilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm.
BlackHeart89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom says this and I believe it. My older brother is a failure. But she does so much to help him out. But he keeps blowing his opportunities. She's counting in me to look after him once she's gone. We're 16 years a part.
delmar42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents really do their best to treat me and my sister equally. I think the edge goes to my sister, though, as she's actually produced a grandchild. I have no interest in having kids. It's kind of a shame for my parents, as my sister's family lives in England, but my husband and I live just around the corner.
twistmental ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She prepared two equal vials of deadly toxin. Seems legit.
TheUnimportant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't think your parents have a favorite kid, you're probably the favorite.
Source: the not favorite kid
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The great debate at the dinner table is often the parent's respective ranks of their children
I come 1st for mum and 3rd (of 4) for dad so I'm doing pretty well
just2quixotic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One at a time I took both of my kids aside and privately told them, "Don't tell anyone, but you are my favorite."
When they compare notes in their twenties and call me to complain, I am going to laugh long and loud.
yeaheyeah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother says I'm his favorite within my age category :)
Castillion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother used to say: "You are my favorite son!" I loved to hear that until I was old enough to realize I only have a sister so i'm literally the only son she has. Thanks mom, love you too.
ThinkingCapitalist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Josh?
WombatOfWar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Drake?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Im pretty sure my mom loves my older brother more.
I mean, hes 39 and she still hasnt made him move out or start buying his own groceries. She even leaves him money for food when she goes out of town.
I ask her for the same but i never get it :(
weirdfish42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is no doubt what so ever that out of the 5 of us, I am the black sheep. We'll all grown now, and sitting around dinner we went around rating each sibling on things like income, parenting, morality, etc.
nuggiesmcgravy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As Dan Cummins says, "I love both my children equally, but I do like one better."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Opposite in my home. Smaller the child, the more loved they were. Or at least the more shit they got away with...
IM NONCONFRONTATIONAL MOTHER. SO THAT'S WHY I WAS STUCK UNDER THE BOAT WHILE THAT LITTLE SHIT SAT ON IT.
Steve11280 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Totally thought this was hilarious until I got married, all of a sudden whoaaa, since when is she top of the tree and im second best
irishbandnerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have fucked up siblings and my mom always said that. I'm the most normal out of all of them and one day she said, "you were the easiest to raise." It made my day because I now know I'm the favorite. The only other time she said something that wonderful was on the way to Easter dinner when my sister was being a pain in the ass. We took separate cars and the second she got in the car my mom said, "God she is such a fucking bitch."
PM_UR_CROSS-STITCHES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's pretty obvious that I'm the favorite child, which makes it really awkward for me with the other siblings. Seriously, if I try and help them out of a situation, Mom goes off on all of us for trying to "poison my mind".
CheminsDeFer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother and I are convinced our mother disliked us equally.
nyvz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My little sister is definitely the favorite, especially with mom given she's her best and only friend.
battraman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Middle child here. This never worked on me. My parents still make it clear that I'm a second class member of the family and that they love my daughter more than they ever loved me.
mrcouchpotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude second siblings are generally the good ones. First children are the test child and often end up a little shitheaded
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure my parents love us equally, but they're more fond of me. Something good about being the one that never got married and had kids.
...
Viperbunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love both my kids the same amount, but I love them differently because they are different people. I couldn't chose one over the other.
gymjim2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of this
Howtofightloneliness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom tells me I'm the favorite... I wonder if she also tells my sister that...?
loljetfuel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, no, we love you equally. But we definitely like one of you more.
xxkoloblicinxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So, growing up I had 7 siblings from my mother's side of the family. Only my brother and I were born from my mom. (The rest are adopted foster kids or step.)
I'm the youngest. So everyone always assumed I was the favorite. I was the smart one, the one who was going places. I was also quite sickly growing up so demanded a lot of my mother's attention. So finally it came out when my brother was having trouble adjusting that he never got any attention from my mother because I was the favorite.
My mother was shocked. She asked my other siblings and they all thought I was the favorite. Except me. I thought my brother was the favorite. My mom yhen finally told us all that my brother was in fact the favorite because he was so self sufficient. My mom didn't have to worry about him. I on the other hand while smart was utterly useless in things like social interactions and needed constant tending. She also thinks I'm supremely annoying...
My relationship with my mother has been a bit strained since. And my brother still hates her.
Moral of the story. Don't let your kids know whose the favorite. Everyone will end up hating you.
Red_Billson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you both the same!"
gets in a fight with my father, leaves and takes my sister
21 years later "I felt bad about that." :(
Fiddlestix22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My sister's name was the password for everything. My name was the password for exactly 0 accounts. Funny enough though as adults I'm closer to mom than she is because she moved across the country right out of high school.
jcraig312 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am an only child, but we have a 4 year old daughter and a 4 month old daughter. I love them both in completely different ways. The baby gets my attention more right now because, well, she's a baby lol. One of my fears is one thinking we love the other more and this is one of those things I'll have to learn as we go because I have never experienced siblings. Did you ever go through a time that you thought your parents shows favoritism?
Blick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom got around this. She would say "I have to love you both, but I don't always have to like you both."
AvatarofSleep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right, which is why you let your boyfriend kick me down a flight of stairs.
iamasecretthrowaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother is a "love you all equally" parent when it comes to which child she loves most. My father vacillates between "whoever lives furthest away" and "whoever makes him a sandwich."
PessimisticOptimist1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Said to every middle child ever.
t-b0ne_pickens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
nobody tell him...
aaronmayfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Being the favorite is the best. Everyone knows it too but my mom never admits it.
frog_licker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually true that many parents have a favorite. I imagine the key is to not let it show.
Etherius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am parent. Can confirm.
There's always a favorite, and if you act like a little shit to your parents while doing your own thing all the time, you're not the favorite.
Twin boy and girl. I tell them I love them equally. I'm a giant fucking liar because he's a rude, entitled, little shit who never wants to sit and talk at the dinner table, never does anything nice unless asked to, kicks and screams whenever there are chores to be done, and complains every time his sister plays with any of his friends. He also does... okay in school.
She, on the other hand, makes father's day cards by hand, sits and "helps" me do stuff like fix their computer or my car (even if she can't do much of anything, it's still nice to be able to teach her how to do this stuff, plus company is always appreciated), always says "please and thank you", and does extremely well in school.
Not only is she much more pleasant to be around, but I look like a total asshole when I feel like I have to heap praise on him because he got a B instead of a C this semester and didn't get any behavioral write-ups, while she is ashamed if she has more than one B and has only ever had one behavioral write-up ever.
Then I go to take her to Dairy Queen as a reward for her good grades, he pitches a fit, and then his mom makes me take both of them even though he didn't do anything to deserve it.
So then I take her again the next day and don't tell anyone where we're going.
TL;DR - Trust me, parents play favorites... and if you're not sure whether or not you're the favorite, be assured that you're not.
brberg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My sister was so bitchy when she was a kid that my mom once actually admitted she liked me better.
VagCookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've always been my dad's favourite because I looked like his big sister. He just doted on me (still does) and its fairly obvious to my two younger sisters. He was gone a lot as I was growing up (worked far away for long hours) so I faced a lot of blacklash from my mom for him adoring me as much as he did. Still nice to be someone's favourite...even if everyone else punishes you for it.
itallblends ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My 9 year old says he likes mom more but it's ok because his 2 year old little bro likes me more.
as_a_fake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm the "favourite" child, because both of my siblings are hyperactive, overly rude and sarcastic, and just love to toe the line of what is and isn't polite.
I, however, am just like my parents in that I have always been a quiet person. I was also always a rule follower (some might call it "goody two shoes") when I was younger, and will actually help out around the house, sometimes even unprompted!
My parents do say the "we love you all equally" thing, and they've never said anything else to any of us, but it's just a feeling I get...
supershinythings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother strongly preferred my older brother to me. That said, so did the Catholic priest, who molested him for several months.
Mom still prefers my brother to me, but she also has tremendous guilt still because she is the one who thought the priest would be a 'good role model' since my father was out of town a lot for work. Turns out, that's exactly why the priest targeted my brother.
HoodedGryphon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmother has a clear preference. My brother plays sax and does art and is generally a more creative person.
I'm a programmer who works on a Robotics team.
My grandfather, who earned all of the money in the family, was an engineer at Chrysler and worked on Redstone rockets.
Guess which of us she prefers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My sister is seriously socially retarded but my parents make excuses for her cause they know they did a shit job raising her (during the recession they were never around, so she became an entitled little shit), so she gets preference in conflict situations but my parents have much higher expectations for me. But my grandparents love me, so I get preference all the time from them.
pundurihn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Youngest of three here. The middle sister and I pretty much know the eldest is mom's favorite. At least dad is better at hiding his favorite.
Allprocrastination ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents had four kids and we all know how each of us ranks and there is no disagreement amongst us about it no matter what my mom claims.
tanser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't really care for Gob
ownage99988 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure my mom loves me more than my sister and I know for a fact my dad does. Not to be like that but she's not very nice
Schaabalahba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a little brother, my mom will always love me more.
I will, however, never have to full respect of my father.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You had better appreciate that golden child shit every day. Just know that no matter how old your little bro is now, he still wants up on your pedestal.
watermelonpizzafries ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a middle child with a mom who never wasted a moment telling family and strangers how great my older brother and younger sister were when I was a kid, can confirm. Absolute lie.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:11:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Parents definitely have favourites.
They've had two cats for a few years and they've even got their favourites of those two.
toboner ยท 2439 points ยท Posted at 15:53:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll be right back." says mother as you're in the grocery check out line, as the conveyor belt proceeds to complete conveying all the groceries, and then the nice man tells you the total. All the while you curse your mother for taking you to the grocery store in the first place. Still no sight of mom.
[deleted] ยท 1106 points ยท Posted at 18:10:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
when i was a checker i always made sure to acknowledge the circumstance with children. I wouldn't say anything expecting them to pay if I saw the child was obviously waiting for a parent. I would just say something like "mom left you alone huh?" "sorry about that bud don't worry we can wait a bit" and smile reassuringly. Sometimes worked sometimes made the kids panic more tbh xD
Freddy216b ยท 257 points ยท Posted at 19:20:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man I'm 22 and still get ticked when my parents do this to me. Had one shit experience recently at Costco where my father went back to get eggs. We were in line at the time so he should've been back in time but wasn't. I GOT SCOLDED BY THE CHECKER FOR NOT LETTING AN EMPLOYEE GET THE THING WE FORGOT. There wasn't anyone behind me waiting either so it's not like we were wasting anyone's time but our own. Fuck, I still panic about that.
Pizza_Delivery_Dog ยท 105 points ยท Posted at 19:27:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate when I get scolded by a stranger. Especially when they are convinced you're doing something wrong on purpose. They could just politely advice you how to do it next time, but noooooo... /rant
Freddy216b ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 19:32:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Strangers who can scold me and I'll be okay with it is a very short list.
Police
/list
jasmine_tea_ ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 19:48:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even have the police on my list. Not ok with being scolded by any strangers.
funzel ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 20:53:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok with it? No.
Let it happen without complaint? Yes.
psmylie ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 21:09:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nod soberly while being scolded? Yes.
Be calm and polite while the officer rants at you? Yes.
Make a mental note of the badge number and file a complaint later, when you're no longer in danger of being arrested? Absolutely yes.
Jack_Of_Shades ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:20:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
psmylie ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:22:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Sorry, should have mentioned: I'm white.
Edit: By which I mean, arrest is more likely than getting shot...
That came out sounding a lot more smart-assey than I'd intended it...
Jack_Of_Shades ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:45:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They may be less likely to shoot you, but that doesn't mean they won't shoot you.
Bloommagical ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:30:36 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whites are shot and killed more often by police in America. It's usually criminals, some are innocent. Just like the black people shot.
grassynipples ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
good to see that not everyone believes allthe propaganda.
MutantBurrito ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not if you live in Houston apparently.
Vargasa871 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Both of my uncles are sherriffs, NOBODY, is getting reprimanded, a finger wagged at them, or even a cold look for reprimanding somebody.
rman18 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:54:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly, give me the ticket and leave me alone... I get I was wrong by the ticket.
Vargasa871 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:15:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What about firefighters and doctors?
Freddy216b ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:41:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're right. Firefighters for sure and doctors maybe. It depends what their scolding me for. Not having a good diet or doing some dumb shit that caused me harm would be acceptable examples.
Vargasa871 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:44:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Look idiot, you can't just go around running with a flamethrower while eating cheeseburgers all day.
DoctorJohannesFaust ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:45:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
someone codes?
phrixious ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:21:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to scold a group of rowdy teenagers who ran (like, actually sprinted) into my cafe 20 minutes before closing, sitting down and not ordering anything and being generally loud and obnoxious. I had no problem telling them that the least they could do is being quiet and how pissed I would be if they left any of their trash.
Kid told me he already ordered, and showed me his bottle of coke. Sucker, we don't have coke.
That's about the only reason I'd scold a stranger though /rant
Pizza_Delivery_Dog ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:50:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that was totally justified, man /rant
Salty_Sea07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've worked in childcare for a long time and now I just scold everyone everywhere all the time.
sherlip ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:09:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See, I'm at that point in life where if a stranger scolds me, I just scold them back harder and add some colorful language.
I've worked food service jobs - I've learned how to deal with shitheads that think they can just be all abusive.
746865626c617a ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:25:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Worse when it's someone you know
cutdownthere ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:59:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
21 here. See, now whenever that happens to me I just end up paying for the groceries to save face. Could be a tactic but Idk since it seems to be instilled in every parent. Maybe some evolutionary trait in saving resources (money).
Freddy216b ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:44:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Costco requires the membership card which I don't have. Not to mention I don't have the money on hand to just drop a couple hundred on groceries (family of 4 for a few weeks).
pocketpants ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:51:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How was no one behind you in a Costco line?
Freddy216b ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not peak hours in a store in a not very big city. It's not the norm but not uncommon to have small lines.
metastasis_d ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:07:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why didn't you tell him/her to fuck themselves?
Freddy216b ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:42:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because I ain't that kind of person.
metastasis_d ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An adult?
Freddy216b ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:19:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only on weekends.
FoxMadrid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:44:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stresses me the hell out when we get in line at the store and my wife runs back to get something. I mean, I've got my wallet and everything but for whatever reason it gets to me.
GoodRubik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 30+ years old and when my wife does this I get annoyed. 10x more annoyed when she has my wallet in her purse.
Why does she have it there? Probably because I asked her to hold it 30 mins ago for some random reason. So that's half my fault I guess, so only 5x.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
While they are an asshole for yelling at you, please understand that those cashiers are under a lot of stress. They have very specific time goals to get a customer in an out of their lane.
Prometheus720 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I learned at about age 12 NEVER to let my slow-ass old lady of a mother go get shit. I'd just run and get it myself because I know I'm faster. I'm an adult and I still do that. "Oh you forgot the milk, mom? That was on YOUR list but whatever. Just go to the car and pay me back if I don't make it in time.
SpoopsThePalindrome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man I was in the self checkout lane the other day and there was just a basket of items sitting on the floor? I'm like "move your feet lose your seat" so JUST as I'm sliding it to the side and stepping forward some exercise-outfit-wearing soccer mom appears out of nowhere "Oh that was mine I forgot the organic kale LOL" and goes in front of me.
StrawberryR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a cashier, I am filled with panic when that happens because I know the customers behind you might get mad and then take it out on me.
As far as you specifically are concerned, the cashier probably recognizes it's an awkward pause, and hopes you're aware that the cashier can't do anything except wait until that thing is brought to the register.
alwayshungover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:33:53 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I'm 32, and if my husband forgets that he wants fucking crackers and we're in line, he'll run and get them, while I'm standing there with card in hand. Even if there's no one behind us, I'm silently worried and shooting glances until he gets back to the register.
Vargasa871 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Youre fucking 22, pay for it and then get the money back from your parents later.
Azrael11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:35:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If it's costco, they probably wouldn't have let him unless he had his own costco card
Freddy216b ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:38:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Correct, no Costco card AND a huge bill because family of four for a few weeks.
Vargasa871 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So them HE should have gone to get it.
Azrael11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're seeming a little judgemental here. It's possible the line was long and the dad thought he could get there and back soon enough. Maybe he knows where they are because he shops there all the time. Or frankly, you have no idea what the financial situation of said 22 yo is, and possibly he didn't have the money to cover it.
Vargasa871 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:33:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It just seems like at 22 this can easily be avoided.
Azrael11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Usually, but you don't know. Regardless, costco is anal about who is actually paying. They aren't even supposed to let him pay for it with his dad, the Costco member, standing right there. Discourages one person using his membership to let everyone else shop there.
Perpetual_Rage ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 20:13:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
Drudicta ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 20:15:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was evil.... "Did you come in to the store without money? No checkbook? A card? This is an awful lot of groceries, for just one little (boy/girl) like you. I can't just give them to you for free."
Either they'd fidget nervously or laugh and say "Yeah I did! You can give me food free."
edsobo ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:15:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, that's a golden opportunity to fuck with the parents for leaving the kid there by themselves. "Hey, if you're buying all these groceries, you may as well grab a few candy bars for dessert, right?"
StoopidMonkey78 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 22:30:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then little Yancy grabs a KitKat just as his mother turns back to the aisle and she savagely beats him and slams his head into the candy rack saying, "You want that candy you bowl cut headed fuck?" good times :)
Drudicta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:32:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hoho..... I like you.
Unfortunately I don't work in retail anymore. But I do still deal with a couple hundred people a day.
edsobo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:01:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I find that since I quit working retail, I can get away with fucking with bad customers even more. I would absolutely do this if I were stuck in line behind this mom/kid. I also like to be really noisy when the customer in front of me is paying more attention to their phone conversation than their transaction.
Drudicta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like tapping your fingernails on those metal dividers. "CLINK CLINK CLINK".
edsobo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:22:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or taking a bag of pistachios and shaking it around. "Don't you love that noise they make? It's so neat!"
NetteFraulein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a good idea....
bad_at_basic_math ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:42:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Legend.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cx
Sweetwill62 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:31:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked at a Target I had that happen to me luckily I knew exactly where the item she needed was and I knew it wouldn't take as long as it was going to take me to scan everything. Gave the kid in the cart a sticker that we are allowed to give to kids. If a kid was a nice or said please or thank you or had an awesome outfit on they sometimes got 2.
darkovia85 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:50:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For every bro like you there's also that one douche who gets huffy with the kid for holding up the process.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I made a point to be super nice to the kids, but a jerk to the parents, trying to rush them and show that they were holding up my line (without outright saying so bc then I didn't want to get fired).
Ssssoooooo very glad I'm not a cashier anymore.
blown-upp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Alright chap, I've got a uniform and hat for you right here, I'll have you sweeping the aisles and taking the trash out, okay? I'll start you at minimum wage so it should only take you 54 hours to pay off the debt!"
"...m-m-mom?"
wigglytuff2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What a kind cashier you were :)
NetteFraulein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Na you pretend they are there on their own..... ask them for their ID for the beer, ask them if they want plastic or paper, ask if they want their chicken packed with the beef (and other package preferences), ask them how they prepare a certain dish in which they are buying ingredients for, tell them their total and ask how they'll be paying.... I usually get a deer in the headlights lol ...... oh and the best part is when the wife leaves a husband behind with her purse... I make sure to let him know that it matches his outfit (authough I have to be careful with that one because one time it really was his)
Sigh....... I hate my job
Weep2D2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Naturally creepy smile too ? I know the feel bro/brodette
BlueBlus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked in retail I would scan items a lot quicker so the kid would get even more anxious.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:16:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:05:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing you haven't been stuck in a retail job much. Any amount of humanity you can force into that process makes it livable.
nedflandersuncle ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:44:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, I haven't worked retail but I think I would rather be a heartless bastard to the kids than have the ten people waiting in line behind them pissed at me.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:59:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
eh im used to pissy people you realize how often people are pissy no matter how much you try to please them?
Big_Slippery_Dick ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 18:14:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum did this every fucking time we went to the supermarket. I will never forgive her for the trauma it caused, as a whole line of people are waiting to buy their food and I'm standing there terrified.
I'll never do this to my kids.
Brute_zee ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:40:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol yeah everyone says that. Then you have the "Oh my god, I've turned into my parents" moment.
Big_Slippery_Dick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well my Dad never did it to me when I visited him. After all, it is lies told by "mothers".
Ubername_ ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 17:57:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then the cashier asks if you have a card.. You don't know there phone number it's under but you tell him you do have a Ralph's/Vons card. More people are lining up and you have no idea what to do....
Baphomet_Abaddon ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 19:11:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If I my mom would leave me to take something while our groceries weren't on a conveyer I would just let people behind to go first.
When I was older I just told her that I will run faster to take what she forgot, I took my time coming back to show her how it feels to be left at the register.
Freddy216b ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 19:22:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: What took you so long?
You: I was running.
Mom: Don't be so slow, it's embarrassing to make everyone else wait.
You: Tell me about it.
cutdownthere ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:04:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Mum: Dont you use that tone with me!
You: What tone?
Mum: Im warning you!
You: Seriously, what tone? Am I speaking in any cadence of sorts?
Mum: Thats it, no pudding for you after dinner, ya li'l shit!
You: Mum Im 23 pls...
Mum: No more cheerios for breakfast either! Its porridge or nothing now!
You: NOOOOO IM SORRY MMUMM PLS MAKE IT STOP sobs
Mum: Oh, and your dad and I were thinking of making you pay rent too. We were gonna leave that til after dinner but since you wont be receiving any, you can pay now or risk not having any tea with your crumpets.
gerald_bostock ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:16:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But how can you have your pudding if you haven't had your meat?
fireork12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I AM NOT A BRITISH WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE
Baphomet_Abaddon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:27:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom would just say: "sorry, that's just how I speak, there is no tone or anything" and it's almost what you wrote when I say it like that.
cutdownthere ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:03:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is the usual protocol in the UK. The person at the cash register, after having scanned everything and realizing that you are an 8 year old with no means of paying for a weeks worth of groceries for a family of 5, continues on as if you paid and then when the parent does inevitably show up all they have to do is pay up and then get their receipt.
Baphomet_Abaddon ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:23:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I'm not from UK, it seems like the protocol here is to sit and look annoyed like kid is the worst thing that happened in their life making a kid feel even worse than ever.
Ubername_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:14:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I live in the US, can vouch for you, this is exactly what happens
Leek5 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 18:36:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I started letting people go ahead of me until she came back. Then she ask why we aren't at the front.
redgemini-fox ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:01:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did this once. After that time she never left while in line.
ruiner8850 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:01:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can get to next in line and then let people go ahead of you one at a time.
quaid4 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:23:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happens to so many people. You'd think the cashiers would know how to handle the situation, but no they just ring you up at twice speed and sit there waiting for the money.
Lizzie7493 ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 18:14:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's curious how everyone freaks out over this as a kid (myself included) but in reality the kid's not the one who looks bad, it's the parent who not only let their kid alone with a bunch of strangers but is also keeping other people in the queue waiting.
So: shame on mums everywhere.
Pizza_Delivery_Dog ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 19:31:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a kid you don't realise people see you as a kid
notalchemists ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:29:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I still freak out about this and I'm an adult now.
-screwthisusername- ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:57:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Omg I HATED that, my dad would also always do that.
Ace-O-Matic ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:04:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And she never comes back.
jasmine_tea_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:46:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
omg hahahahha
my mom would do this a lot
msgfromside3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL. Laughed so hard because this continues even when you get married... by your SO.
csonny2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I must be your dad because my wife does that to me now.
idownvotestuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The trauma is real
HoneyBadgerPainSauce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh Jesus, please don't. I'm 24 and on my own and this is giving me anxiety.
finacialandmisc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some say he's still waiting there to this day
wolfpwarrior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hopefully your mom will come back soon.
Gayburn_Wright ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That shit killed me. Except we never got our stuff onto the conveyor belt I think. But god standing there watching the person in front of me get checked out always made me feel a real sense of dread. What if they get to our cart before she gets back? I can't pay for this shit. There's someone behind me oh my god she's not going to be back soon enough and I'm going to hold up the line and everyone will stare at me and be upset ohhhhh jeez oh no I'm so sorry everyone!
Being a socially awkward Canadian child is rough....
ShortRound89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've been refusing to go shopping with my mom since i was like 10 because buying shoes shouldn't take 45 minutes.
ScmSpades ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever my mom would do that, I would get out of the line and go to the end of the longest one as soon as I reached the cashier. She stopped quick
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now that I'm living in a different country than my parents, when they visit, I take them to the store to have them wait in line while I pull the "I'll be right back." Who's laughing now, ma?!?
baconnmeggs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god, this used to send me into a panic.
snap_wilson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every goddamned time.
EgoIpse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People, the trick here is to volunteer yourself to go. You will probably run faster than your parents' walking speed and if it's a regular item you probably know the place/ general location. They get to be lazy and you get to not be anxious.
That or ask your parent for the credit card while you wait, if they trust you with it.
stingray20201 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad has done this to me before recently, I paid for our $80 in groceries and moved outta line, to my car that I drove us in and loaded it. Went back in and chatted with cashier for five minutes, when he got back I handed him the receipt and said, "My bill." He felt bad that I paid for it and paid me back, but he never does this again.
I_AM_A_SMURF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of the great things of adulthood is that now I can pay for my mom's grocery when that happens!
Narrative_Causality ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is only relevant in a world without cell phones.
sonic_sabbath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:34 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you get older, thats what your wife tells you. Same lie
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then you get molestered. :(
1Fish_2Fish_4Fish ยท 2264 points ยท Posted at 13:22:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're not fat, you're just big boned." gee, thanks mum.
[deleted] ยท 953 points ยท Posted at 15:29:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funny story, my brother in law was always a pudgy/fat kit. He always referred to himself as that and his mom always said "you're not fat, you're just husky".
One time he was riding in the car and saw a very obese kid, and his mom said something about that kid being 'husky'.
"I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO MOM!"
Definitely_Working ยท 281 points ยท Posted at 18:48:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
reminds me when my mom was rambling on one morning and i mentioned something about being fat. she decided to tell me that i wasnt fat and explained that i was just tall and big boned. the only thing i could think to say back was "there are no bones in my man-tits mom, im just fucking fat", she laughed for like 10 straight minutes and never brought up the term "big boned" again.
blueberry_coldbrew ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 21:27:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a chubby friend whose mom always called him "big boned" or "husky." His sister called him fat one day when we were all in the car with his grandmother. He proudly replied "I'm not fat, I'm big boned and I'll grow into them." His grandma laughed out loud and said "Kiddo, that's just something parents tell their fat kids. I'm sorry."
I don't think anyone else has broken his heart the way his grandma did that day.
GalacTech ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:05:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Savage
sniperdude12a ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:37:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well hopefully it helped
kennyl ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 16:57:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
CAT โ DOG
klethra ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 17:34:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A kit is a fox tho...
kennyl ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 17:35:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FOX โ DOG
CheeseOfAmerica ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:44:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aren't foxes canine, at least?
kennyl ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 17:45:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"DOG" โ DOG
Snow_King7 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:48:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
P = NP
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:58:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
not yet
Snow_King7 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:01:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not with that attitude.
ThatDrunkenScot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:04:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
e = mc2
InTheRedditVoid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hi
ThatDrunkenScot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:48:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hey
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:40:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
vulpine
Stacia_Asuna ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:22:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
NO ITEMS
OctopusEyes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Final destination.
IMCHAPIN ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:46:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a husky owner, I sometimes think huskies are just the cats of the dog world. He only listens if you have treats, sometimes not even then. He is an asshole... If he wants to stop for a second to sniff a tree when we're out for a run, he will trip you. Does bad shit you don't even know he could do, open normal doors, open and close his cage, gets into the garbage, and when he hears you coming he runs to his food bowl and pretends that somehow the gate just phased out of existence long enough to escape, also that mess was always there. I seriously don't know how he escapes from his cage and closes it like he never opened it.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:48:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because you have to show that you are worthy of command, that is not some ridicolous inbreed neutered shithead, that is a dog.
IMCHAPIN ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:31:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Husky's only listen when they have a reason to. It's not just like any other dog. If you tell any other dog to sit, it will sit, huskys will look at you and laugh. Plus it's an exaggeration. He hurt my leg twice in two days and I wanted exaggerate the situation. Huskys are intelligent as hell and I am the only one in my family he listens too. He knows walking commands, which according to Reddit is incredibly hard to do ( because when I mentioned it people called it BS). He knows I'm boss, but he is his own "person" he won't listen unless he has an incentive.
FolsomPrisonHues ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tomato, tomato
thedarkpurpleone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:43:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a black lab growing up that did all those things too. The damnedest thing was we had two fucking dogs and a cage big enough to hold both of them comfortably that we kept in the basement and used when we left for the whole day (because otherwise our black lab would wreck shit) and when we would get home ONLY the black lab would be out of the cage. Our golden retriever would still be in the cage looking at us like "I dunno how he fucking did it either, but can you let me out so I can have fun too?"
Hogleg91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not a husky; just a poltergeist.
trizzle21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
clever girl
melance ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:54:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because that was the name for the clothing size. Husky!
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:03:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember my jean size as a kid was whatever number followed by the word "husky". I knew I was fat, but that kind of reinforced the idea that it wasn't a choice. Like it was just a body type.
Gothelittle ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:13:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, I've got a kid who wears "husky", and he's definitely not fat. (Cue a bunch of Internet strangers saying, "I bet he is and you and your pediatrician and all the other people who've ever laid eyes on him are just a huge bunch of liars!)
For those of you who are still with me... Honestly, his BMI is 17.7, or 46th percentile. Perfectly normal.
His father (my husband) is genetically almost entirely Italian, and he inherited the same frame... very broad shoulders, thick, heavy-boned frame, short stature. (My husband is 5'6".)
And that's how a kid with a normal, below-average BMI winds up with Husky pants. Usually in a size about two years' younger than his age.
TL:DR; Sometimes it honestly is just a body type.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 21:33:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know your situation. But that sounds exactly like my build growing up.
I was fat. Heard literally all of those explanations.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:07:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Italian-American here as well. In our family we always referred to that as being built "like an (our surname)." Literally, all the men in my family who resemble each other are built exactly like your husband and son. I'm short for a guy (5'8"), broad shoulders, wide hips. Some of us have the heavy bone structure but not all (including me, I'm not "big boned"). When I was a teen/young adult I always had to get pants a size larger than my waist because I have big, muscular thighs.
Gothelittle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:55:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We do that too! "Built like a [surname]." Or, "He's got a [surname] butt."
My husband's father worked at his father's construction company as a teenager. Picture that frame you mentioned, packed down heavily with muscle. He was in the habit of, for instance, loading down two 60lb bags of concrete on each shoulder and carrying it across the site. He quit highschool football when it "became boring", because every play became "give him the ball and let him run it in", slow-motion, with up to five guys from the other team hanging off him if need be...
My husband has a desk job and doesn't work out, and even he can carry heavy loads around just by hanging them off his frame.
And he's got legs like tree trunks.
I, on the other hand, have a Western European mix with Eastern European Jew mixed in, and inherited the frame of a bird... my mother was driven to distraction raising us, because we were always like around 2% in height and 1% in weight and the pediatricians would treat her like they thought in secret that she was starving us, while she spent her days trying to get us to eat enough to bulk up a little...
My son, at age 12, wore size 10H; I, at age 12, wore size 8 slim.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:21:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I found Chouji here
MissAnneStanton ยท 594 points ยท Posted at 13:58:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She was complimenting your boner , let it happen
SaintTieum ยท 193 points ยท Posted at 14:07:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Something something broken arms.
[deleted] ยท 325 points ยท Posted at 14:12:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
something something low effort
somethingsomething every thread
Dwedit ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:14:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Something something jumper cables
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:37:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:44:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this guy memes
CarlTheKillerLlama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But what you all do t realize is that even the circle jerk is a meme. It's memes all the way down...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
CarlTheKillerLlama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well I am stupid.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 14:29:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Something something give me gold
Springheeljac ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 14:40:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Something something gold train.
Something something choo choo.
bredman3370 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:05:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bro job bro job CHOO CHOO
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 14:57:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ohnjaynb ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 15:11:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
something something complaining GOD stop adding that godawful "edit: thanks for the gold" It ruins the post something
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:26:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
what do y'all expect a Lannister to come and just pay these debts?
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
uooa ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
something something DOWNVOTES TRAIN
Juststopitdude ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 15:24:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not gonna happen.
LittleBlast5 ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 15:01:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Something something give me free karma motherfuckers
Negative karma still works i guess :)
BEAVER_ATTACKS ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:12:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Free negative karma!
DarthHound ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:10:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every young boy's dream!
BEAVER_ATTACKS ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:33:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did they read Word Up magazine?
HipHopTron ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:56:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The hero reddit needs
CommandoSolo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:47:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad you went ahead and covered both of the next two comments in one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
just tryin to do my best :-/
CommandoSolo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like the efficiency. Carry on.
Anonymous_____ninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Something something something darkside.
throwaway10241988 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:57:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
fuck you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
stahp!
Raulywood ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:41:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Something something every goddamn thread.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:08:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm very surprised that this didn't come up sooner in this thread.
TrymWS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's the broken arms thing?
pto500 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just Google broken arms reddit.
Ol_Shitcakes_Magoo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:11:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I finally understand that tame impala song.
"If I never come back, tell my mother I'm sorry"
piperiain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/-ed6UeDp1ek
for anyone this far down this comment rat hole, here is your prize.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:11:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got like halfway through. I'm normally a rock and metal fan, but I appreciate the link.
FrozenSquirrel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At what age do people stop using the word "boner"?
MissAnneStanton ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:52:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Uh , never?
KryptoniteDong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ugh
moonpielover69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck man
25sittinon25cents ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 16:20:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Found Cartman
rnawmomof3 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:35:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom still to this day denies I was a fat kid....seriously mom? It's a battle when my kids go to visit because she shows her love via food and we just aren't about that 3000 calorie a day life at our house.
360FakieTrash ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:15:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I like to hear. Breeding superior children.
Gothelittle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's possible that you really weren't fat in her culture. There are many cultures, including America's less than a century ago, when a kid had to be a certain sort of chubby to be able to survive illnesses that might keep them from eating for days, or even a week or two... like diptheria, measles, rubella, polio...
rnawmomof3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:21:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Possibly. I am American, and my mom was 47 when I was born (so she's from a generation that got a lot sicker than mine), so I see what you're saying. I think it's more that moms just think their kids are wonderful and she doesn't want to think of me as anyway but perfect. I have be very careful with my kids, because I find myself telling them 'if you don't lay off the chips you're going to look like mommy did growing up'...probably not a very good way to promote positive body image...
Gothelittle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:49:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I explain restricting chip access to them by pointing out that chips are a low-nutrition food, and saying that it's okay to have them occasionally (we tend to have them about maybe once a month, less often in the winter and more so in the summer) as long as we've had other, more nutrient-rich food lately.
Feel free to borrow it if it helps. :)
rnawmomof3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:11:07 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll try that angle. My oldest is a super picky eater and has ~14 foods that he will eat that we just keep recycling over and over again. One of those is the Classic Lays that I send to school with his PB&J (every. single. day.) otherwise I probably wouldn't buy them at all.
Gothelittle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:38:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got my daughter to start eating peas by telling her that they make her eyes shiny, and the reason why Disney Princesses have such shiny eyes is because they eat peas.
The "earth apples" argument to get her to eat potatoes only worked once, though.
gr8clickb8 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:43:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
big bones don't fucking jiggle when they move, Mom.
justanothergirling ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:10:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On the other end of the spectrum, my mom called me fat at 110 lbs (at 5'1).
audigex ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:17:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This one sucks because it's a case of a parent trying to make their kid feel better, but doing them damage in the long run.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
probably also a severe reason for the obesity epidemic in america, but now we have a generation trying to validate they're healthy at every size, yet dying at 40 from heart attacks
honestly, i wont be surprised at all when we have a cardiac crisis among my generation in the next 15 years
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What generation are you talking about?
nitssh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:11:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly; "you're not ginger, you're strawberry blonde." Like that helped when I went all Waterboy and say "Momma said I'm strawberry blonde" to the other kids.
RealOutcasty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My ma always told me I was "of heartier stock" than my sisters...
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:42:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is she fat too? She's just teaching you the socially acceptable form of denial.
kennyl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, who else compliments on your calcium level?
SlcCorrado ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ca.. Cartman?
EatingSalsa9883 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or "it's just your baby fat, any day now you're going to thin out"
audigex ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:18:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, baby fat.
Tip to parents: If you'd no longer refer to your child as being a "baby", they don't "have" baby fat, they "are" actual fat.
blacktiebartender ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ever seen a skeleton with with big bones - my mother.
Alburio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Onthe
melance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You just haven't grown into your body yet.
delmar42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, well that's better than your mom telling you that your legs fit into your trousers like stuffed sausages. I'll never forgive her for that one.
Joetato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was the opposite and always told me I was fat and needed to lose weight. This actually continued into adulthood. When I was 20, I was 6'2" and weighed 160 pounds. She still kept bitching I was fat and said I needed to lose another 20 pounds.
Interestingly enough, not too long ago I checked a height weight chart and it actually said 160 at 6'2" is overweight. So maybe she was right.
avenlanzer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Got some big bones in those man titties do ya?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my best friends, who later went on to become a DII offensive lineman (i.e. big guy), had the indignity to wear a shirt on his 2nd grade picture day that read, "I'm not fat, I'm just fluffy."
I believe we kept that yearbook in the locker room to tease him with for our entire HS football careers.
Tittytickler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, I get pissed when my mom tries to say I was never fat. Oh really, then how did I lose 70lbs mom? Fit people don't lose 70lbs and not die. She always laughs now and says I have a point, but it is still annoying
username_redacted ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds okay to me, mine just always called me fat. Thanks for the lifetime of shame, ma.
yakisaki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're just healthy"
Myzyri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always got "you're a husky boy!"
And back in the day, they actually had "husky" sizes in stores. I'd feel about two inches tall whenever mom or grandma would loudly ask where they kept the "husky sizes for my husky boy."
Might as well have just asked, "Where do you keep the tarps so I can cover up my corpulent son's fat ass? No one needs to see that nastiness!"
30 years later, that's what I thought about as I dropped 100 pounds... Jerks! Shaming me and giving me a complex to make me more healthy!
Siphon1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was husky
SHREKLESS_ABANDON ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got that a lot too. Then I was diagnosed with type - 2 diabetes at 21, still refused to call me obese.
Best believe I "looked great" when I lost 120 lbs. though. COULDA SAVED ME THE TROUBLE IF YOU'D HAVE JUST SAID I WAS FAT A DECADE EARLIER MOM.
Faps_With_Fury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine was "it's just baby fat!" until I was about 13 and figured it out.
CasiInAPumpkin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum still tells me that I had "baby fat" and was at a normal weight. Baby fat as a 16year old? I had to buy pants for women when I was 10,Mum! But she believes that our family just isn't made to be thin. And that I'm on my way to being underweight.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
cartman?
BAXterBEDford ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone here on reddit that had a grandparent that was a concentration camp survivor and had a patent answer for that: "There weren't any fatties in Auschwitz!" .
wtfduud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I seriously don't understand why parents would encourage their kids to eat more than they're supposed to. My mother instantly told me I was a fat piece of shit when I started putting on weight in college.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Leanne Cartman?
whatsername25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I get "you're just retaining water".
Hiciao ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Before I went to college, my mom told me I should lose weight because I would gain weight in college. I wasn't even fat.
Sawses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I understand the motivation here. Really, I do...But if you're fat, your parents are better served teaching you how to manage that problem, rather than denying it. I was very fortunate in that, even though I ate lots of shit, I never had a sweet tooth...so no major weight gain. Still, I hate when people I know refuse to acknowledge they're fat. Like, I don't want them to die in their fucking fifties.
carpet111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Im slightly chubby but I am super strong. I mountain bike a lot so I have very thick strong legs. My body fat percentage is about 20-21 but my bmi is 34. My mother constantly tells me how fat and lazy I am despite anything I do. She always tells me I should get out more
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This guy, he's on the chubby side. His mom told him he was heavy because his blood type was heavy.
Aurorabeamblast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember in 10th grade this pudgy short semi-hardened latina girl tell me this. I was skeptical and then talking or overhearing on general topic conversation with my mom that people who use this argument are deceiving themselves because she well understood the difference in where when she was accused of using this excuse to cover her size, she could actually back it up with 1) size 12 feet and 2) great body strength (bench press ~200lbs). That's big-boned.
Give them the standard skeletal overview and strength test. You'll see whether they are fibbing or not.
BlackHeart89 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:59:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That lie kept me fat for years. I'm 26 and in pretty good shape now. But I'm still pissed off about that. Everything I'd say to myself that I'm fat and need to work out, she say I wasn't and that nothing was wrong me. And I'd believe that bs. Thinking "hm. I guess I'm tripping". Every woman I know told me that same lie. That's why I never, to this day, ask a woman about her opinion regarding me. No offense to women.
Satans_Pet ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:04:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I weigh 250. I'm 6ft 1 and people always guess around 175 to 190. I am built bone wise, or "big boned"
lordmycal ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 16:56:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bones get stronger in response to stress on the bones. The more weight you carry, the bigger and stronger your bones will get. So you get big bones by having a lot of muscle or by being overweight.
Sorabella ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not in any kind of appreciable or significant way.
Though i'd love a source if you have one.
No_Shadowbannerino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He seems to think bone density = bone size
So_Motarded ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lordmycal is right; total body weight is the most consistent marker of bone density. More weight = denser bones.
/u/lordmycal is technically correct; putting on more weight means you have denser bones. People just like to think it's the other way around.
Sorabella ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:07 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How does density = size?
I've had to look at countless MRIs and Xrays of different ages, genders and races. There is never any kind of difference in thickness/width circumference for those of the same height/gender.
j0m1n1n ยท 4194 points ยท Posted at 15:39:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"I took that birthday/Christmas check from Grandma and put it in your college savings fund."
There was no college fund. I had to pay for it myself. Still don't know what happened to those checks.
EDIT: Holy crap. RIP inbox. It's funny that whenever I mention how fucked up my childhood was, it gets upvoted through the roof. This wasn't even close to the most fucked up thing. Maybe I should finish my autobiography. There's a lot of wild, wonderful stuff in adulthood, too.
I didn't actually realize how fucked up and abnormal it was until my comment exploded. I thought it was within the range of normal. Turns out it isn't. It isn't actually nearly as big a deal as everything else that went on. It's not like I expected the twice a year $10-$25 check from Grandma to fully fund my higher education. The lie hurt me the most.
My best theory after considering your comments is that an account existed until my stepfather went to prison for sexually abusing me. I know that my mother remained married to him for years and liquidated all his assets, including the house, over the next few years. I know that I was hungry many nights while she spent the night with him instead of caring for me as he awaited trial. I think that she liquidated my meager college fund to finance her lifestyle after his assets ran out.
I'm no longer in contact with her. This isn't even in the top 100 reasons.
Bartweiss ยท 1905 points ยท Posted at 17:41:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, that's a crappy feeling. I found out about the checks when my Grandpa asked me what I spent the money on. Turns out I owed him a decade of thank-yous, and had looked like an ungrateful little shit the whole time...
leiawars ยท 352 points ยท Posted at 20:22:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My step dad was intercepting our mail and stealing all of the money and checks from our birthday and Christmas cards. We found out years later when his aunt sent us photocopies of the checks with our forged signatures...
nopooq ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 20:42:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is this something you can involve the law over? I mean, the signatures are forged.
leiawars ยท 97 points ยท Posted at 21:03:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happened 20+ years ago. My mom had their marriage annulled and his 3rd wife left him when she found out he had been lying to her for years. She took care of him after he has a brain aneurysm and he paid her back with cheating and pathological lying. No surprises there. He had another aneurysm afterwards that messed him up pretty badly. He now lives in a home, has some level of brain damage, and none of his wives, kid's, or step kid's have anything to do with him. I think he got what was coming to him.
MiilkyJoe ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 23:00:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am a firm believer that the universe is a purely chaotic and random place, but it is stories like these that make me believe Karma may actually be a thing.
leiawars ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:01:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The truly sad part is that I feel like it's his kid's who really lost out. Aside from the lying, I feel like he was a good dad. He was engaged and seemed to enjoy playing with us. He didn't mind being silly either. If he hadn't been a liar, I think my mom would still be married to him. But, the lying was so ingrained in his personality, it took over every aspect of his and our lives. The only times you could believe him was when he was talking about something you physically witnessed yourself. I think in the end, his brain was so messed up from his altered reality, it just went ahead permanently altered itself.
For all four of his kids, two biological and two step, he was our only real option for a dad. We really let us down.
MiilkyJoe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:48:25 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am sorry that you and your siblings had to grow up with someone like that as a father figure. It must have been hard not to be able to trust a lot of what he said.
I am dealing with a friend much like this at the moment and it has gotten to the point where the rest of our group just can't stand to be around him while he spins (and gets caught up in) this constant web of lies. I can't imagine what that must have been like coming from a father.
I hope you guys are all doing well.
leiawars ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:34:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know he was lying as a kid. So that helped considerably. I didn't know he was a pathological liar until my mom kicked him out when I was 11 or 12. I think she had suspicions, but didn't truly know what he was until an IRS man walked onto our porch, and told her her husband hadn't paid the IRS since long before they were married. I clearly remember piling into our car and waiting in a huge line of cars, at the main city post office, to mail off our taxes on tax day.
ErezYehuda ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:06:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What if brain damage from the aneurysms was the cause of the behavior? It seems plausible that if he's survived several, he may have had them before. It reminds me somewhat of Phineas Gage.
leiawars ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:22:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly couldn't tell you what kind of brain damage he has. I don't ask a lot of questions about it and I haven't seen him in 10+ years. That, and my mom is the only one Thad hasn't 100% cut him off, and she hasn't attempted to see him in a few years. His lying likely started in childhood, and may have ramped up during his first marriage, over 40 years ago. He was extremely charismatic, intelligent and VERY creative. Never aggressive not impulsive outside of his lying. I don't think I would compare him to someone who had a rod shot through his head though, at least not when I knew him. But, from what I garner, now he is more child like and unable to live on his own.
MiilkyJoe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:51:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, definitely, repeated trauma to the brain is never a good thing, and I can't even begin to imagine the effect that would have on your personality/mental wellbeing.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:52:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is chaotic... there are a large number of ppl in it.... hence this happens.
Danimalion97 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You mean Darma? :/
MiilkyJoe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:31:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had to look up Dharma.
I may be wrong but I took the definition of Dharma to mean adhering to a set of behaviours to find inner peace, and I understand Karma to be a form of spiritual cause and effect, where you may be rewarded or punished by the cosmos for your deeds/misdeeds.
Also, from what I understand practicing Dharma could 'earn' (for lack of a better word) good Karma.
Onadairybasis ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Judging by the rogue apostrophes in your comment I'd say you're on an iPad.
Bartweiss ยท 110 points ยท Posted at 20:29:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's hideous, I'm sorry.
iamerror87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:01:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry that happened to you:(
Luminya1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:21:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My God what a wretched and completely immoral thing to do to a child. My heart goes out to you.
noyogapants ยท 163 points ยท Posted at 19:50:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That sucks. I don't always take the birthday money... if I see that my kids have some cash already I will tell them I'm putting it in their accounts and I actually do it.
I just put and extra $20 into each kids account because my dad gave me $100 to get the kids something... (I have 5 kids).
I told them about it first and let them know why I wasn't giving them the money directly.
I can understand if parents are going through a rough time financially... that "birthday money" could be food for the family, or enough to keep the electricity on...
Bartweiss ยท 118 points ยท Posted at 20:20:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah... There's definitely good reason not to just hand it over, especially when it's something mismatched like $200 for a ten year old.
We weren't broke, but I would (like to think I'd) have understood if it went to a family trip or something shared like that. I didn't need the money at that age, and there were totally reasonable ways to spend it for the family's benefit.
Nothing wrong with helping kids manage their money. I was mostly horrified that I hadn't know, and so hadn't ever been able to say thank you.
ChuushaHime ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 21:31:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To help kids manage their money, though, you have to help kids manage their money. As someone who wasn't allowed access to their bank account until I was 18, all I learned was to cash checks and spend them immediately before my parents got their hands on them to deposit them into the untouchable void, and either lie about or cover up any money that came into or left my hands, even my own paychecks. Then, after those bad habits were formed, I suddenly had access at 18 to more money than I'd ever seen at once in my life, and you know I did stupid shit with it.
Regulating kids' experience with money is like regulating kids' experience with alcohol or sex. Any kind of black and white thinking is going to get your kids in trouble when they have a lick of freedom.
Crimson_Shiroe ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:17:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents had a black and white parenting style. Now, I'm 18 and while I still don't have my freedom (I have no job currently and can't obtain one for a little while) I'm very scared of what will happen when I do. I'm already bad at managing money, so I'm wondering what's going to happen when I'm living on my own. Hopefully I'm smart enough to not make idiotic choices, but the thought is still scary to me.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:42:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Crimson_Shiroe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I suppose that's a good idea. Although my first priority right now is getting a job
MyPacman ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:41:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Our family had a rule. You got your first job, and your first paycheck was yours to waste on absolutely anything you wanted, but after that, the money was budgeted to 'expenses' (token rent), 'savings' (long term), and 'spending' (weekly activities/food).
My first job was $80 per week... My sisters? $450. Jokes on her, she really regretted the junk she brought (the real reason we were allowed to blow it - educating us on that unsatisfied feeling afterward)
ChuushaHime ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:08:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would think a better way to do it would be to do something like that, but then allow that same sort of splurge every 4 paychecks or so. Show that splurging doesn't feel good when you don't have a foundation/safety net, but when you do have that foundation, it's a great treat and something to work towards when you can afford it.
Bartweiss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:18:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is a really good point. I definitely came away with useless or even counterproductive habits from my experience.
Some were easy to break when I grew up, like my tendency to keep my money in cash. That went away as soon as I thought "wow, no one else can drain this bank account". Some have been way harder, like deciding how much money to save with the understanding that I'm planning decades in the future.
It's a tricky balance, but offering useful experience is way more valuable than substituting your judgement for your kid's.
DoctorFrankz ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 21:08:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's cool, but I mostly wanted to tell you that this is the only time I've seen parentheses used so goddamn smoothly.
Monomart ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:54:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
IT JUST WORKS THOO [8]
Bartweiss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:27:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you.
I admit, I was proud of it, so it's good to be appreciated.
noyogapants ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 21:13:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I totally understand that you felt a little betrayed... it sucks that people you trust blindly (parents) would do something to betray that trust...
To find out as a kid that your own parents can do something like that is devastating... kind of a loss of innocence...
And most importantly you wanted to thank the person who gave it to you but you didn't even know about the money... it made you look like a brat with no manners even though that clearly wasn't the case...
_redditor_in_chief ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 21:30:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And they always justify it to themselves by claiming that they 'pay for everything and are entitled to it.'
I still haven't forgiven my dad for draining my accounts due to "an emergency." Then he waited for me to get in trouble for something and suddenly claimed that would be the punishment...to not have my bank account. Slow clap, dad, you fucking prick. See you at your funeral, asshole.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:21:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My ex-boyfriend's father did something similarly slimy to all seven of his kids. This was a Mormon family that lived in abject poverty because they tithed before taking care of their family and because they just kept having kids (four miscarriages happened before his mom needed a hysterectomy, so it easily could've been eleven or more kids instead of seven) even though the church even told them they should stop.
The first four kids, including my ex, were pretty healthy, but the last three (one girl, two boys) were pretty sickly. The woman seriously had health issues after so many pregnancies so close together. She would be on bed rest for most of the pregnancy. One of the youngest boys ended up on disability for a year due to physical problems. At the time he was around nineteen or twenty. His parents took every single disability check from him as "rent" even though they, IIRC, were about a grand every two weeks. They wouldn't give him any of the money and wouldn't let him live with his older siblings because then they couldn't
manage his moneysteal from him.My ex was the middle child. Like every one of his brothers and sisters he had no belief in Mormonism, which of course enraged his parents. My ex was planning to move out the moment he turned 18. He'd started working at fifteen to save up money and because his parents made each kid work and pay $300 a month in rent if they were sixteen or older (yep, huge assholes). They wouldn't let them leave until they were 18.
My ex had one of those ten gallon water jugs that he used to collect change. The first time he cashed the change in there was almost a grand in it, which he used to take himself and his girlfriend to Disneyland for a few days. Well when his parents found out they were livid, but he went ahead and hid the jug and started saving change again to use to move out. One day as it was getting close to his 18th birthday his dad started a fight with the younger son (the one that ended up on disability later). My ex defended his brother, blocked a punch his dad threw at him, and left the house. Apparently it was a tactic to get my ex to leave. While he was gone his dad went through his room and found his change and stole it all. When my ex came back home and discovered it was gone, his dad claimed ignorance. His younger brother told him that he'd seen his dad steal it. My ex walked out that day and never went back.
There were many instances of them borrowing from their kids, stealing from their kids, and conning others. These people buddied up to a Mormon Mercedes dealer to get nice cars for themselves (that they couldn't afford to maintain or repair), ran up credit under their kids names, bought endless amounts of nice things for themselves (even though their house was a broken down, illegally expanded piece of shit), and cheated family for every penny they could. And through all of it they continued to tithe and try to have more kids.
_redditor_in_chief ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:57:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit (pun intended.) What a bunch of assholes and I thought my parents were bad...I guess it's all relative. Thanks for sharing.
Frond_Dishlock ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:38:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Should have taken something of equal value and sold it. Then claimed ignorance. "TV? What TV? I don't remember you having a TV".
that1persn ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:42:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you say "See you at your funeral, asshole." to your father? I really hope you did.
_redditor_in_chief ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 21:59:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I absolutely did. The last straw was just a few years ago, he is now 74 and I figured the assholeness of him was gone. He tried to scam me out of a business that I was starting with his usual bullshit and years prior to that, he called me with some big lie/whopper story about how he wanted to buy a new car and needed a $14000 loan...turns out he got his car reposessed and, as usual, likes to lie and use his kids for financial gain. When I caught him in the last bullshit scenario, over the phone, I said "That was the last straw. I'll see you at your funeral, asshole." He replied, rather shocked, "What?" I said "You heard me. I'm going to hang up now."
I hung up the phone. It was the last thing I said to him. Fuck that guy.
He also forged my brother's signature on his paychecks and cashed them when he returned from Alaska working all summer in the cannery, 16 hours a day, 7 days per week, all summer. When my brother caught him, my dad kicked him out of the house...my brother had a broken leg and was bed ridden at the time. Yeah, he's a real fucking gem.
mozfustril ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:26:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You're the fucking redditor-in-chief for gods sake. Give that man a medal!
iamerror87 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:06:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck for real? So your brother worked his fucking ass off and had fuck all to show for it? That's harsh. I've worked a couple days and had my money taken from me but a whole fucking summer? Fuck your father for what he did to you and your brother. Sorry but I feel I had to say it.
lajih ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:39:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
fool me once, shame on you. Fool the entire family multiple times and I feel like this prick should have been cut off a long time ago.
TungstenRose ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:22:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's going to regret his behaviour real soon when his health starts failing him, if it hasn't already.
TheCount913 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This needs to be answered
Bartweiss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah... I was not pleased.
Fortunately(?), I found out too old to be really devastated, I just realized that sometimes people are shitty and dishonest even if they're your parents. This wasn't the kind of villainy and grand selfishness a lot of the other people in this thread went through, I doubt my parents ever even considered it important. It was just an ugly moment from someone who wasn't great at considering others.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:41:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents had some savings going for me, then they had some financial difficulty and they asked me to come to the bank with them and sign it over to them...
LadyTimeLord11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:08:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother found a happy medium, any money I received as a gift (which was rare because we don't do any holidays in our house, not even birthdays) she would give me half. So if i received 100 as a gift, i would get 50 to take care of myself, and the other half would go into my "college fund." I don't know if it necessarily worked out to be helpful but i turned out to be really good with saving money and managing it. I still haven't used my 10,000 dollar college fund (Canadian, so 10 goes a long way) because i dropped out of high school due to mental health reasons, but i plan on finishing high school and maybe going off to college if it's what works out but if not, that money will be going towards starting a life after i finish some sort of education. Whether that means rent or even just food, it's still 10 grand that i get to use towards more then just toys and clothing, which is what i would've used the money for if i was given such a large sum young.
Actually now that i think about it, a lot of the time my mother would ask if i wanted half. Most of the time i said no, or the more common one was all i wanted to buy was a slushie and the rest goes into my savings. She usually just ended up giving me the $2 as a gift and putting the full gift into savings. I was lucky enough to not want for much as a child though, in no way were we rich, but if i was out with my mom and i saw a cute top, we could easily buy it without thinking about the price tag too much, but of course we still looked at the price, we just didn't have to sweat buying things that were wants instead of needs. If it was my mother as a child though, she didn't have much money and she could actually use that money to buy clothes she needed, if the money was offered to her that is.
rtothewin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:18:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We had a rough month a while back and treated it like a loan...my daughter has insane interest rates.
chhotu007 ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 20:50:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I recently confronted my mom about this. I figured how much money I should have collected from birthday checks from Grandparents/Uncles/Aunts since I was ~5-7yo or so and made my parents pay up ($2300). I'm a 26yo med student. I'll take anything I can get.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:55:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
chhotu007 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 22:33:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents, particularly my mom, have always taught me to value money and fight back for it when it's rightfully mine/earned. I just told them I was using their own advice.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:05:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:39:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some parents can become amazingly compliant when their children follow through on a threat, for instance, "if you don't do x then you will no longer hear from me." When they don't do "x" you break off communication and refuse to speak with them until they do. A fair number of parents will respond to this. I don't know if OP did that but I've advised patients to do this in the past and it tends to work.
chhotu007 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:58:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I come from a super close family with pretty awesome values. Chances are once I make a living and once my parents retire, I'll probably be taking care of them under my household. We help each other out...a lot. Everything they earn is mine. Everything I earn is theirs. So handing over $2300 in birthday money was really more symbolic than anything else. I wasn't really begging for it, and they weren't throwing it away.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, how do you make your parents "pay up"? Sounds difficult.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:52:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why did you look like a shot you didn't know about the checks ?
IrisSeraph ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 19:55:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
From his grandpa's point of view, he'd have been receiving ten years of checks, and never sent a thank you note in response.
Bartweiss ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 20:11:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly, thanks. My grandpa's a great guy, and didn't seem to hold it against me even before he knew, but I felt damned bad knowing that he kept sending them without ever being acknowledged.
silverpixiefly ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:24:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What happened when he found out?
Bartweiss ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 20:28:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It started with a bunch of confusion as we talked at cross purposes, and then I apologized and thanked him. He was never mad, but I was glad I got to tell him.
Later, I think my parents explained to him that it was being saved for college, or for a bigger purchase when I was old enough to appreciate it. It wasn't, it disappeared, but I don't know exactly what they told him and I kind of hope he was comforted. He had some tension with his kids, and things like this made it fairly clear why.
brettf123 ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 20:48:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know your feelings on this so well, as a kid my mother helped me set up a savings account, she ended up taking nearly $3000 out of it without so much as informing me, she hid all my statements when they arrived in the mail, turns out she had a serious drug problem, she is clean now but it still bothers me that she never admitted what she did or apologized, and even went so far as to try to convince my family that I spent it all and was just trying to get "sympathy money" I WAS 8 wth would I have spent that much money on?
UlteriorMoas ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:29:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents regularly stole my gift money (at one point a $2000 check from my grandmother to buy a computer for college - I ended up buying my own after saving up for three years). But I have one (sort of) good story that I hold on to when I want to remember that the whole world isn't shit...
When I was 5 or 6, I got several gifts of cash from relatives for Christmas. My grandfather, who was visiting us at the time, suggested I open a savings account. So we went to the bank, and my dad cosigned. I deposited $90.
When I was 12, I decided to buy myself a bike. I remembered that I had a savings account, and I thought "oh yay! I bet there's tons of interest accumulated in that account because I never withdrew any of it!". So my mom took me to the bank, and I read my account number to the teller. She said the account had been closed due to insufficient funds. I stared in disbelief. "But how? I never took any money out?!"
She looked at the computer and said it was a maintenance fee that ate away at the balance every year. She glanced back up to see my eyes filling with tears. I had no money, I had lost my home to a fire a few years before, and we were living in poverty. And now I couldn't even buy myself a bike.
She suddenly stood up and reached over the counter, grabbing my hands. "Oh no no no, honey, hold on right there, I'll be right back!". And she ran out of the room and into the bank manager's office. A moment later they both come out and stand behind the counter. The teller says "how much money did you deposit?" and I mumble "Ninety dollars, ma'am."
The manager types something on the computer, and the drawer pops open. She hands me a crisp $100 bill. "Now that ought to cover you with a little interest."
Tears started running down my face and I started to ask why - the manager just held up his hand and said "now how am I supposed to get new customers when little girls can't trust me to keep their savings safe? You look very honest and smart, and I know you're going to spend that money wisely. And we're going to keep your account open so you can do business with us whenever you like."
I kept that account, and made new ones when I turned 18. I paid my way through college and all of life's expenses with often less than $20 to my name at any given time. I'm in a much better place now, but that little act of kindness meant, and still means, the world to me.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:26:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
brettf123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well this was over the course of several years, between the ages of like... 6 to 15 lol
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:37:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
brettf123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:13:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I said BETWEEN THE AGES OF as in that nine year period
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh Thank you
nopooq ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:40:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man. Did you tell Grandpa that you didn't know? I hope so.
MightyMadFresh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:50:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeesh. Have an upvote to balm the ouch.
dramboxf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:33:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife's stepfather was intercepting all the Social Security checks my wife was due because her father died when she was 11. She found out two months before she aged out of the program. That was almost 40 years ago and she's still pissed.
asmodeuskraemer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
jesus fuck..
HaloGeek ยท 154 points ยท Posted at 16:26:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit... Every birthday and Christmas check was taken from you?
j0m1n1n ยท 121 points ยท Posted at 16:54:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not all of them, but I was often told that my birthday/Christmas money was either put in my savings or used to buy something for the whole family.
liftingtillfit ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 17:30:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like my family. Everything went 'into savings or college fund' that my mom or her family gave to me. My dad was the only one who actually put money away for me for college.
ashamedelephant ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 19:25:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Growing up, my brother and I had saving accounts. But then my parents got divorced and suddenly we didn't have any money in them anymore. They both still blame each other.
battraman ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 19:38:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same here, minus the divorce part. When I confronted my mother about it she said "Would you rather we lost the house?" No, mom. I would've preferred if we didn't have cable or new clothes or you took my sisters out of fucking gymnastics classes.
mechewstaa ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 19:41:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This made me blow a gasket when I went through it. Dad: "would you rather us not have a car?" No, but I'd rather have a fucking used Camry than your brand new Audi a4
lorraine_baines_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:13:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is this like a baby boomer thing? Bc this sounds like something my parents would do and how they'd react.
Dead-A-Chek ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:52:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No it's just an asshole thing.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:05:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:57:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SUE
SUE
YEAH YOU'RE GONNA SUE
SUE
SUE
YEAH THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO
Quw10 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 19:43:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Both my parents had seperate savings accounts for me. My dad didn't give me access to mine after graduation and only had $50 in it, the one my mom had for me literally disappeared and was never spoken of and she dodges the question every time I ask what happens to it. At least my dad was up front and told me he had to use it in some of our family's rough spots while he was single but still disappointing considering there was at least $3-4k between the 2 accounts since my grandparents regularly put money into them for savings and all that was left was $50.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:06:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Quw10 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:16:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I believe my dad, but not my mom. Every paycheck she gets is already spent before it's even cashed, and its really upsetting because she has to ask me her 23 year old son for money when she's working as many as 3 jobs with 1 being a nurse and I'm probably bringing maybe half of what she makes a year with no explanation of where it all goes.
Sparkybear ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:05:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The money was more likely split up in the divorce, I'm assuming as they were the primary account holders?
ashamedelephant ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:09:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not entirely sure, it was when I was real young. But the way they talk about it when its brought up sounds like it was emptied before something like that.
EBOLANIPPLES ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:39:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your parents had access to your bank account?
TooHappyFappy ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:41:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was under 18 they opened an account for me but it was under their names. I figured a minor couldn't have their own bank account.
EBOLANIPPLES ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:47:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've had one since I was 14 under my name, but I'm in the UK so it might be different.
TooHappyFappy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:49:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah I'm pretty sure you can have one in the US as well, but unless your parents told you, most minors wouldn't even know it's an option since most things can't be in your name at that time. And if the parents were the type to want access to the money they probably wouldn't tell you.
the_red_beast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:52:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah you can definitely have one in the US. I've had a bank account since I started working at 14 in the US.
itsgo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the bank. Some you can open an account at 13, with parent supervision.
But since the parent is the custodian, the kid can't legally access the account until 18- the guardians still have access, though.
ashamedelephant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it was actual bank account. It might have been, it was when we were like 4-5. But they were the ones who set it up for us for in the future. Still bullshit
timewontfly ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 19:17:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"For the whole family"? Money that was for your birthday or Christmas? That's bullshit.
shadowsog95 ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 19:31:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to me when I saved up for an Xbox. "You got that doing all of your brothers chores so it's his too." I was super pissed when I had to pull my controller out of the door.
roflmaohaxorz ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:34:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah my mom was a little different. She'd rather reward the good child with such an accessory and tell the bad kids they can be rewarded similarly if they behave similarly.
ferociousPAWS ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:50:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom's logic was to make you share was based on the fact that your brother didn't have to do any chores?
shadowsog95 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:15:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See she probably meant it as "let your brother play your Xbox" but it also meant he didn't have to pay for the shit he broke and I couldn't keep it in my room where it was safe.
TheTartanDervish ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:23:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Her logic was that one child is meh and has to put up with whatever she says, and the younger brother is her favourite. It's called being a narcissistic cow.
jmjackson1 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:37:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This needs some clarification... What does one mean by "out of the door"?
shadowsog95 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:45:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He got mad and threw the controller at me. I closed the door and the controller still almost hit me in the face, through the door.
Heyoceama ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:48:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you kill him? I would have. As a gamer, you're free to treat your own shit however you want but if it's someone else's you care for it like a child.
jmjackson1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would have lost my shit.
The_Evidence ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:57:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You got that doing all of your brothers chores so it's his too."
That's kinda scummy. How is that supposed to reinforce good adult habits like delayed gratification and budgeting?
Shlugo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, so you got the money by doing your brother chores in addition to your own, and he still was somehow entitled to it?
Holy Bullshit Batman!
Rivka333 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How the heck was that supposed to make sense?
AskMeAboutMyBandcamp ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:19:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing with my family, but I didn't know that my parents were in a really tough economic spot; once they got back in their feet they made sure to make it up to my then-teenaged self. Buying me a car etc. I love my folks and don't blame them now that I know what was going on :)
lMYMl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:16:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a similar boat. They took it to buy groceries and pay bills though, so I dont blame them. It could have been worse, a lot of people i grew up with had to work through high school to help pay the mortgage. At least I got to keep what I earned at work.
vampyrita ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 19:10:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah,been there, except it was my paychecks. I worked at the same school as my mother when i was a teenager (helping at the after school day care)and she would collect my paychecks before i ever saw them. Claimed to put them aside for.......? I never saw a dime of it, and the student loans I'm paying off tell me they sure as hell didn't go to my college. So fuck me, i guess.
izModar ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 19:32:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that illegal?
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 19:44:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you are a minor in the united States it is legal for your parents to take any pay or money you receive, so long as you are in their care.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 19:51:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
the_real_xuth ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:14:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In many aspects of the law, until you're 18 you're not all that different from property owned by your parents. They can't sell you and they have to take care of you to a certain standard that varies by jurisdiction. But other than that they can say what you can and can't do, how you're cared for, they technically own your possessions, can sign contracts for you (which you can't sign in the first place)...
DasHuhn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:02:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, they don't own you, they don't own your possessions, they can sign contracts for you (Which you can break at the age of 18). If OP had taken the checks and put them into a bank account that M&D weren't on, M&D would have no recourse here.
It's assumed that M&D have your best interests in mind, even when you disagree and that's OK; and they're allowed to act in your best interests to spend your money, even if you disagree; but it's still your money and it's your things. Gifts to a child are that - gifts to the child, and are the childs things and not the adults. However, it is rarely worth the court case to go out to fight for this.
the_real_xuth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:25:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even that's not true assuming that the child has access to the account. Because if the child has access, so does a legal guardian up until the age of majority.
DasHuhn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:29:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Assuming that the legal guardian knows about the accounts, or that bank accepts the proof from the LG - now-a-days its incredibly easy to set up banking that M&D won't find out, because there is nothing to find out.... same thing then too, just a little more work involved for the kid.
SaneCoefficient ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is so fucked up...
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:40:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of illegal shit in this comment thread.
vampyrita ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably. Doesn't mean it didn't happen.
Somebody_Named_Wyatt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As /u/nothingIputinworks said , its legal, but it should not be.
Rayvenwolf13 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 19:16:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like my mom. She would take any money given for birthdays and holidays. She would always say that she was spending it on me for me, but my great grandma paid for my clothes, shoes, food, etc and I couldn't figure out what it was that my mom was buying with the money because everything came from my grandma. My mom even cashed out saving's bonds that my dad had gotten for me and I don't know what happened to the money. The worst part is that when I would ask for money for things like school field trips she would raise holy hell, completely offended by the idea that I asked for money.
AdvocateSaint ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:58:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is making my blood boil
amero421 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my fuck, the school trips! I missed out on so much because "we didn't have the money". But yeah, birthday money was always taken for, I don't know, bills? We had new furniture every year, it seemed.
vegablack ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 18:37:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do. Mum and dad used it to try and play stocks. I don't blame them for getting conned, they had a lot of other investments that panned out well.
But they lost my fund, and of course after uni I was expected to "pay it all back to them".
Yeah, that conversation went well. You better believe I remembered that shit. For some reason, they've stopped asking after I remembered to ask them where all that birthday money from Nanna went.
quirx90 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:38:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Consider yourself lucky that they stopped
MagicalCMonster ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:10:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn that sucks. My parents had their faults, but did not steal grandma money. Usually they got their own, bigger check though.
Lady_Anarchy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:18:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not saying it was drugs but... it was probably drugs.
Theo_dore ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:19:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents did actually save that money for me; eighteen years of birthday and holiday money added up to about $4,000. I used it to buy a car during college.
We had a small family that was fairly disconnected from relatives, and we had very few wealthy friends/relatives. I'd imagine that you could end up with at least double what I got if your parents knew more people.
AramisNight ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:28:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My family set one of those aside for me that supposedly held thousands of dollars. My aunt managed it. When my father and step-mother divorced they threw me out on the streets(I was 17 at the time). After they divorced my aunt emptied out the contents of the fund and gave it to my father, who proceeded to blow it all on meth.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:08:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Drugs
DonRobo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:30:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All the comments to this post made me realize just how grateful I should really be for my parents.
I should give them a call.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did the amount of alcohol spike after Christmas?
1madeamistake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine actually did. I thought for years that my mom just used my money for stuff but I went to get a new car and my parents said that you have 8 grand in a savings so we can get you that nice car. I went... Um what... I have had 8 grand this whole timeโฆ and they said told you I didn't steal it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That sucks. I actually had a savings account and ended yup with like, 5 grand when I was 17. Bought my first car with some of it.
tributeaubz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every. Fucking. Christmas. Steal my money, fine, but don't drag Grandma into this.
ManintheMT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like my parents, "hey get your college degree and we will pay off your loans." Graduated, they said, "get a job."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine bought me an $800 DSLR in 11th grade. I still have it. It still works great. My fund actually existed... or my parents just told me that when I asked to use my accumulated birthday money to buy a camera and sucked it up and paid for it themselves, I will never know.
chenosmith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to me too, in particular with savings bonds that I got as a gift from my uncle
jmwpc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhh yes. The mutual funds my grandmother seeded for my brother and I (to be used towards the purchase of our first home) some 25 years ago mysteriously disappeared around the same time my father was going through a particularly nasty second divorce.
It's okay though. He disowned us over some other bullshit about money that, as far as I can tell, also evaporated, but in this case it was likely from a series of bad investments made by a third party.
Ain't family great?
petgreg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your college fund" is the name of the local pub.
FuffyKitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I went through the same thing. I think I HAD an account, but as I later found out, my dad was constantly getting himself fired and they spent it.
In one instance my grandmother had given my mom money, and I had to hound her like crazy to even get it. She was going to keep it and hope I forgot about it.
salvationscifi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma had to start giving us birthday money in person. So we would get a few years at a time, never around our actual birthday. All my cousins said "yeah it's great that grandma always gives us $10 plus your age!" (Till you're 20, gma ain't made of money). Mum always had $20 for bingo and I got the last number of my age (13 i got $3) or nothing. Always thought she loved the other grandkids more than my and my brother until she said "wow 20 is a big year, $30 buys a lot, what did you get yourself?" To my brother and he was like "uhh what?" And my mum had a whole lot of nothing to say.
Sexual_tomato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aw. That sucks. I have a savings account for each of my sons that I add to every year on their birthday. When they start getting money from family, I will ask them if they want to save or spend. If they want to spend, they have to keep a register and still put around 10% in the savings. My parents used to take my more expensive Christmas toys from relatives back to the store so they could buy groceries that month. It made me so sad, but as an adult, I feel a little better about it.
stups317 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
same here. I knew that I should have had ~$200 from various birthday/christmas gifts yet I didn't ever get the chance to spend it and somehow ended up with $0. I also should have had a couple hundred in savings bonds from my grandparents but I did not. My older sister did, my younger sister did, my younger brother did, and so did all my cousins yet I did not. So I guess my grandparents must have forgotten about me.
Fray38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad used to take the money my grandparents sent for holidays. He didn't bother lying, though. He made sure we knew he was spending it on weed and we'd never see it again.
pixelmeow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My daughter's other grandfather started some sort of fund to put toward her college. The first time he put money in it, it was $2,500, and she was just a few years old.
A bit over 2 years ago her stepmother and father withdrew all that money to pay their bills. They've been living way beyond their means for years. But fuck her, we're stealing her money!
So no college fund. Just writing this out has made me furious. I absolutely hate that woman with a passion. I have come to hate her father because he's such a fuck-up. He stiffed her in child support from her age 15 to 17, and didn't even bother to pay the last two months. He'd been punctual for all those years and just left her hanging. God I'm furious over that, and it was almost 3 years ago.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was a smoker and an alcoholic, and she used to take money from our older siblings college funds to spend on alcohol.
nopooq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow that's so messed up. I don't even....
Jeez.
MorganWick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Chances of it all going to drugs or booze?
You_Stealthy_Bastard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For over a year I helped my grandma take my great grandma shopping and would get a few dollars. My mom always took it, insisting that she was saving it. When I finally realized that I had enough to buy Ocarina of Time, I asked for the money.
"I spent it"
"...WHY?! It was my money!"
"I needed it. And you don't need money."
Still makes me mad to this day.
La_Diablita_Blanca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe there was a savings fund and mom and dad had to cash out the savings account to not lose the house... at least that's what happened to mine.
Fiddlestix22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For me it was my dad who was the asshole. When we were kids my dad make us put entire checks from relatives into a savings account under his control. The terms of spending the money were "for something necessary in the future" so pretty vague.
Then there was a falling out when I was a teenager. Long story short, he put me in a chokehold, sold the car he bought for me that I helped prep for pain right out from under me, and pretty much ruined my relationship with him for a long time.
When I was 18 and in college my laptop died between semesters. I needed a new laptop. Repairing the one I had would have been a couple grand. Knowing that my dad was likely to say no to using the funds for the laptop, and then probably pull the funds into his personal account, it was decided between my mom and I that I wouldn't ask him and just pull the funds and deal with it later when he found out.
So that's what we did and I had a computer for school. He called a couple weeks later wanting to know why I took all the funds out. I told him why hoping he'd understand. After all, it was my money to begin with and I used it "for something necessary in the future" like he wanted. I had no way of getting a computer for school otherwise. He told me that I was manipulative and it was OUR money (never mind that it was my money) and that I needed to ask him. I asked him if he would have said yes. He said no he'd have said no because I didn't need a computer for school and probably just wanted one to play games. Yeah we didn't speak for awhile after that.
Mgnickel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, my mom raided that to fund her divorce. I funded my worst experience as a child.
KittyKratt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's super shitty. I had savings bonds left to me by my grandmother that my mom cashed in herself. She gave me 2 of them...I had 10.
bythog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've told this story before on reddit, but it sounds relevant now:
In 9th grade I was in marching band. Our school was invited to Disney to march in one of the parades, and the plan was for everyone to also stay for a few extra days to have fun in the parks.
I grew up poor. We couldn't afford to send me to Disney. I sold as much candy as I could to help (World's Finest Chocolate sales) but only came up with like $150 towards it. My aunt--who is well off--heard about the trip and hardship so sent me a check to pay for the entire trip, a bit of spending money, and the $150 I already made would be bonus for me.
Well, I actually didn't even find out about the check she sent until after the trip that I never got to go on. She called to ask me how it was and why I never thanked her. It turns out that my mom checked the mail and saw the surprise check that was sent. She cashed the check and used the money (admittedly mostly for groceries and utilities, but also a lot of cigarettes) and never told me about it.
Unsurprisingly my aunt was pissed. She ended up calling my mom at work, which in turn got me in trouble at home. Apparently I shouldn't have told my aunt that I never went to Disney with the money that she sent specifically for that purpose.
Bad parents suck, man.
rdewalt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a notebook of shame in my dresser drawer, detailing out how much needs to go into which kids' bank, when they're old enough. I don't feel /TOO/ bad. But seeing you owe your kid $20 does make you more mindful of budgeting.
lorraine_baines_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man I had a ton of bonds that just "disappeared." I should ask my grandmother about it, but I'm sure it was spent long ago.
throwaway080816 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is one thing I really appreciate my parents for. My mum still had some money lying around that her late grandfather had given her for university, and she paid for mine with it. Also, all the times the answer was "no because we can't afford it" mean that I am now debt-free as an adult.
PMach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like the only kid in this thread who had a savings account and used years of birthday money to buy a PS2 and small TV in high school.
badwolf691 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On a similar note, my step dad was always hurting for money around the holidays after we got a little older. So many times I heard that we'll have one maybe two small presents to open for Christmas day and the rest of the gifts will come the next paycheck. I honestly think he and my mom believed that lie every year. I did get whatever Christmas money back that they had to borrow, though.
Senor_Studly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All of my savings account money went towards my mom's trips to France, Israel, Egypt, Italy, Alaska, New Zealand, and her yearly trips to New York to see her boyfriend.
Gankstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I owe kid like 1000 bucks in dumb checks from relatives. They sit around until you cash them... then busy.
bfcrowrench ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. Until this moment, I really thought I was the only person who understood this.
Zugzugmynugnug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had 70 bucks when I was five given to me for my birthday. Found out years later(and she was ashamed) it went to the electric bill. Poverty sucked. But I couldn't be mad after that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents did put those checks in the college savings fund, but I only got like ~2200 in that fund before college happened, which barely scratched the surface
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She should Check her privilege.
linotype ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe your grandma wasn't actually sending anything, and your mom was protecting you from the truth?
j0m1n1n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, my mother made me endorse the checks so she could deposit them.
G8kpr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend got $5,000 (I believe) when his grandfather died to help him go to college. His mother guilted him into giving it to her to "help the family"
They drew up a contract where it was a loan and she would pay him back monthly... She paid one installment. He never saw the rest.
blackonyxring ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's just shitty, not common.
supershinythings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know what happened to those checks. Don't kid yourself.
Growing up, I thought I was the only one with thieving relatives, but it seems to be fairly common.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Man. I remember when I wanted to buy a Super Nintendo with all my previous birthday funds. My mom kept a bank ledger and everything. I said "mom, can I cash out a few hundred from my account and get a Super Nintendo?". She told me there was no account, that she had used it on bills during tough times. I later found out that bills meant meth and tough times meant the second the check cleared. *a word
CJ_MR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma realized this early on and decided to give me savings bonds instead. She told me to hide them, "because you don't want someone else to accidentally lose them for you." Two savings bonds per year (birthday and Christmas) for my entire childhood. She died right before I started university but every penny she gave me went towards school. Any other money relatives gave me my mom took from me and lied that she was saving it. She has a well paying job but she's horribly irresponsible with money. She'll blow her whole paycheck on shoes then realize she forgot to pay the mortgage. And I'm expected to help her financially because she told the whole family she paid for my university. In reality I used the bonds my grandma gave me and worked full-time while I went to school full-time. My mom refused to give me her tax information so that I could apply for loans (required in the USA until you are in your mid twenties). Moving far away was one of the best decisions I've made.
akiva23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happened with the money everyone gave me for my barmitzvah i was pretty salty
character0ak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. Grandmother won 10,000 playing slots, opened an MMA for me and my sister for 5,000 a piece. Got the bank statements for years showing steady growth, then one day it only has 1500 in it with a withdrawal slip with my moms signature on it. 16 year old me got pissed, withdrew the rest and blew it all. Turns out it was withdrawn to pay the mortgage. If I was just told I would've understood, but it was done behind my back with no explanation. If only they had explained when they took it out I wouldn't have been a rebellious little shit and would have been able to buy a decent car at 18. Nope, booze, weed, and cigs. Talk to your kids like they are adults.
startrek1992 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I understand that feeling, when I got my first job at 16 my mom had me set up her savings account for my dd. Never did see all that wendy's money. Smh.
Redditmucational ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She did have my college fund then spent it without telling me. That was a surprise, when I asked her for it she laughed and told me I was grown up to pay my way around the world now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So basically you stole my money. Thanks, Ma.
Knot_My_Name ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always told me she was taking mine to help pay the bills, I really believed her because we were dirt poor, like can't afford hot water in the summer poor. Turns out she was just spending it on crack. Not even joking, my mom is 300lbs and I honestly believed you couldn't be fat and a crack head at the same time, people told me my mom smoked crack (angry boyfriends of hers, or family members) and it was impossible to me because in my child/preteen head, crack heads had to be skinny.
jimibulgin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe if those checks never came, you never would have been in a position to go to college.
Crackerpool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, I just remembered my parents did that a few times. The fuck.
trex_in_spats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shit this was all my money until I was like 19. Gave my mom my work checks for years, thinking she was putting it into an account for me.
Pixiebird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel your pain but I know what happened to mine, they where put in an account that was later drained by my mother because she had put herself in debt and blown all her inheritance on a new bedroom set. Her reasoning for not replacing it? "Well I kept you and raised you, be grateful!" Obviously I'm still kinda butt hurt.
budbutler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
drugs lots of drugs
scw55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tangent. My aunt gave me a bag of sherbert lemons to me (to my mum). My mum hid them. At Halloween, she gave them away to trick or treaters.
Mum said it was because they were bad for me.
Clearly not bad for other people's children. Also, they were given to me.
When parents intercept money given to you and they buy something on your behalf which you didn't want. I was given money, and my hear sank when mum bought a kite with it. Mum knows best, for herself.
captain_craisins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing happened to me. Grandparents set up a savings account for college that somehow disappeared between my birth and starting college.
veracosa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is so sad... stuff like this makes me thankful for my relatively normal family.
wanawanka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Super bitch
foira ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
damn i would cut my parents off, i assume you have
dramboxf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, my "in trust" savings account they opened for me when I was born. Had about $10g in it when I graduated HS. Did I ever see a dime of it? HELL NO. When my mother died in 2009, she insisted that I STILL owed her $900 from a phone bill (LDR) from like 15 years before that.
"Take it from the Ten large you owe me, Mom."
ninjabortles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah my parents promised they would pay for my college. Even months after they took out student loans in my name. They never even helped. I had to work full time making $6.50 an hour to afford books, food, and gas.
When I dropped out due to stress of being 18 in my second year of college and working full time. They said they only promised to pay if I finished.
They are now trying to get my brother to take out a loan and buy part of their property with the promise to pay him back.
missammyy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. That is so low. :(
Volsdontletmedown07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck man... I'd Call them out on it.
my_random_thots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's absolutely horrible. Our son has had his own account since birth and when he's given ANY amount of money, whether it's a 25ยข reward for loading the dishwasher or a $150 cheque at Christmas, it goes into that account. He can see his bank book any time he wants, and he's allowed to spend a percentage of the money as long as he meets certain goals with behaviour and schoolwork.
A child's money isn't his or her parent's to take or even borrow, unless there's a life or death issue in the family and that money can save someone. I'm so sorry that happened to you.
SaneCoefficient ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents were very poor but they were also very good at saving every cent of surplus money they came across. When I was 8 they opened up a joint savings acct. with me. Every time I got a gift from relatives they would drive me down to the bank and show me how to deposit it. I would sometimes ask them to just do it for me but they refused, telling me that I should never trust someone to walk off with my money. Good life lessons.
Ohmyeffinggawd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a mother, that's fucked up your mom did that. I would never do that to my kids.
bigdickpuncher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Groceries.
j0m1n1n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is definitely not what she spent the money on. I can tell you that for sure because I starved while she liquidated all my stepfather's savings and assets and she drove a new car.
Sawses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, what a piece of shit.
lessleading ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, they were checks.
If they were depositing cheques, you'd be onto a winner. ;)
2manymans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All 3 of my kids have accounts and every penny they've ever been given is there. However, MT husband and I have the means to provide everything my kids need. I know of some families who use the money to buy the kids new clothes and things they can't afford. If that's what happens to the $ I'm fine with that as long as the parents don't lie to the kids about it
wigglytuff2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/raisedbynarcissists will make u not feel so bad about your childhood/early adulthood experiences.
you_dont_know_me_21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Happy to read that. Unfortunately, the effects of abuse last long after the abuse stops; if you would like to vent with others who've experienced similar stuff, you might find /r/raisedbynarcissists helpful. It's a great community!
KidPrince ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the old "Look! Grandma gave you money, I'll just hold this for you." I've never seen any of that money. Or, "I just need $20 in cash. I'll pay you back tomorrow, promise." that they covinently forget about the next day.
calypso_cane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, my savings bonds that were gifted to me 'magically' disappeared. Also, while working my ass off at age 15 in a warehouse, I noticed that my bank account never seemed to add up correctly. When I went to college I was short a few thousand dollars...
StrawberryR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once lost (read: a friend STOLE) $50 dollars of my birthday money after my party one year, and my mom still told me to look for it FOUR FUCKING YEARS LATER.
And she wonders why I used to never ask for anything. :|
Narrative_Causality ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My father insisted he worked so hard to put me through college. Currently working 35 hours a week while going to college full time. Nice one, dad. Real effort, there.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:17:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn dude. I'm so sorry. You seem to have your shit together tho. Respect.
CouldBeWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, damn, that edit got dark. Hope you're doing well now.
j0m1n1n ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:40:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So much better now. I've put myself through college, I have been married for five years, I have been working as a bartender for three, and I'm preparing to go back to school for another degree.
Grimsterr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's horrible, I would never do that to my kid. I've got almost enough to pay for 2 years of JuCo saved up after that he's on his own.
AlcyoneNight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got several thousand dollars from my grandfather when I was in middle school for college when a relative of his died. My parents never told me. They cashed the check themselves (which wasn't weird because I was 12 so of course I didn't have a bank account of my own) and used the money as their down payment for a car, and never told me.
We needed the car. Parents had to get to work for us to do things like, oh, eat, and live in a house. I don't think I would have understood at the time. But I'm still kind of upset that I found out from my grandfather years and years later and not my parents.
Ellisered ยท 4691 points ยท Posted at 14:56:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my parents told me i was allergic to sugar and would die if i ate it. they even went and brought "alternative snacks" to my school teachers like carrot sticks and peanuts for them to stock up for me and hand out when the other kids got birthday cupcakes. not the worst thing they could have done to me, but it sucked. i totally believed them until i went to visit my aunt and realized that ice cream and m&m's were FUCKING AMAZING.
but the weirdest thing was that until the 5th grade i believed in the halloween fairy. i still got to dress up in a costume and go trick or treating for hours, but at the end of the night i would leave my bag of candy outside my bedroom door, and overnight the fairy would take it and leave me a new bag full of crackers and fruit snacks and other "treats" while in reality my parents just ate all my candy.
Tsuichendist ยท 2812 points ยท Posted at 16:50:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was trying to figure out their end game, but it makes sense. Annual long con
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:50:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
RecycledEternity ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:56:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently you've never heard of ComiCon.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:23:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Does it involve slave labour and candy? Because I'm totally siding with slaves and candy.
RecycledEternity ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:54:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Slave Leias and booth candy.
Soooo... kinda?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:55:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Princess Leah slave cosplay suitable?
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 20:17:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents had a parent tax for the halloween candy. Parents would get 20-30% of the haul from each kid.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:24:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eat the good stuff as you get it.
kione83 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:07:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have two young boys that love Halloween. The only candy that I "tax" is the peanut butter taffy because they won't touch it. Damn that stuff is awesome. I suppose the tax could fluctuate from year to year but I usually only end up with 6-8 pieces
xHaZxMaTx ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 18:55:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or, you know, just wanting a healthy child. (Not necessarily saying that was a good way to go about it, but seems pretty obvious.)
Nega_Sc0tt ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 19:35:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd make eating chocolate a family event. Only on holidays and when lots of people want chocolate.
Don't make eating junk food a normal occurrence.
KryptonianNerd ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:48:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My aunt and uncle had a good method with my cousins, they put the chocolate and stuff in a draw that in reach of the children and they could have stuff from it whenever they wanted (provided they weren't in trouble). It meant that they hardly ever actually are chocolate and sweets because they weren't seen as this secret magic
TheJaceticeLeague ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 21:02:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is a terrible idea. I had a friend who grew up like that. He is now pushing 300 lbs
shnnrr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:48:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Correlation does not imply causation. Applies to both anecdotal outcomes, though.
gelatinparty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe only put dark chocolate in the drawer?
soniacristina ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:14:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah...my very skinny cousin in law has the same theory about candy so she (and her kids) have access to it all the time . Her last baby was 10 lbs and they had to induce him early or else he would have been even bigger. I on the other hand have always been overweight (I was a 9lb plus baby and I used to weigh 500 lbs but lost 300+ tho I doubt I will ever be skinny). I eat low carb which means I didn't eat much sugar while pregnant and my baby was a little over 7lbs and that was even though I was a week overdue.
Easy access to candy is NOT a good thing for anyone, but especially children.
ShakeYourAAS ยท -20 points ยท Posted at 18:07:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or, you know, general health and well-being.
bubby963 ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 18:17:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Depriving someone of all kinds of chocolate and other sweets is far past "general health and well-being". If you don't let yourself have nice things ever then your life must suck.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:04:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[Deleted]
null_work ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 20:14:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Never doing things you enjoy doesn't degrade the quality of your life at all.... riiiiight.
And about your contrary, they're not innately.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:31:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[Deleted]
null_work ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:48:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's my point. It's a reductio ad absurdum. There's no reason to do much of anything at all, since not doing those things doesn't degrade the quality of your life. You enjoy writing music? Unnecessary. You enjoy carpentry? Just skip it. Don't need it.
Looks like you need to go back to grade school if your take on the negative qualities of overconsumption means it's an innate issue of mere consumption. Water is innately a problem.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think the point was that there's no amount of candy that isn't over consumption relative to how much you should have, so there isn't anything evil about shutting down the candy in your child's life. Something like carpentry is probably going to be at worst a neutral, unless the kid does it instead of school.
Also, it might be easier to get a dialogue going if you speak a little bit more respectfully. This is the internet, but just because you're hiding behind a screen doesn't mean you should present arguments sarcastically and reference logical fallacies.
TheJaceticeLeague ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You cant read his links then. Its not just overeating sugar thats bad for you. One soda is already extremely unhealthy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[Deleted]
TheCount913 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:13:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank youuu... Not enough people are aware of how dangerous sugar actually is
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:39:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Candy is good for the .25 seconds that you eat it. it does not affect your quality of life at all, except to lower it through cravings.
null_work ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:44:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is objectively false. Pretty much anything that triggers a dopamine release can absolutely affect your quality of life for the better if you use it in moderation.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:50:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[Deleted]
JytteAzelle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:08:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You may be right, but having a damn snickers every once and a while never really hurt anyone who follows most of those guidelines anyways. He's not advocating a bottle of coke every day, he's advocating don't drink a bottle of coke every day, just maybe on a hot sunday.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:25:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[Deleted]
Zywakem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, I absolutely hate sweets, and sweet drinks, and I'm perfectly healthy. It does have the side effect of me not liking fruits though, too sweet for me. You're doing your teeth a huge favour though.
[deleted] ยท 1245 points ยท Posted at 16:59:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
delorean225 ยท 979 points ยท Posted at 17:14:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's like the way we treat alcohol in America. Yeah, of course college kids are getting drunk - they have never been taught to have a healthy responsible relationship with the stuff.
SidewaysInfinity ยท 611 points ยท Posted at 17:28:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was that way with having free time. I failed all of my classes the first semester of freshman year because I was busy riding the high of being able to go do things with friends, stay up late, and go places when I felt like it without asking permission. If I hadn't lost my scholarship because of it that would probably be the most fondly-remembered few months of my life.
thr0wawaynumber1 ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 18:46:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yesss. My parents don't let me go anywhere with anyone without knowing all of the details and it makes it not even worth it. I will try to not do what you did my first semester at college but I am so excited to have that kind of freedom.
no_second_troy ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:11:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in high school my parents used to make me write down the names and cell phone numbers of who I was leaving with if they weren't one of my main friends. At first I thought it was so embarrassing and stupid, but after I realized they had no intentions of using it unless something went way wrong and I never showed home then it didn't really bug me anymore. Your parents just care about you. They watched you from your smallest possible self up until now. It has to be terrifying to let you leave the house without knowing what you're doing. Shit, it's probably still scary when they do know what you're doing. But they must care about you a lot to have some sort of worry and if they still let you go then they must trust you. Imagine how they would feel if something happened to you and they didn't ask where you were going? Enjoy being home while you're still there and don't let your parents asking all the details stop you from going out and having fun.
And have fun in college. It really is a great time. This is my last semester and i'm sure gonna miss it. Make the best of it while you're there and don't be afraid to break out of the mold you may have created for yourself while you were in high school. This is your chance to work towards being whoever you feel like you really are :)
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 20:30:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
no_second_troy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:24:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Oh I completely agree 100%. You can get yourself in a lot of trouble in the long run by being too controlling or mistrusting of your children. I guess my comment just came more from a place of the realizations I made as I matured a bit and became aware of the dynamics other people had with their parents. It helped me realize there were worse things than my parents wanting to have a number to call if it's 4 am and I'm not home and not answering my phone. My friends who had parents who didn't give a damn where they were or what they were doing (which is always what I wished mine were like) always told me they wished they had "parents who cared like mine."
Edit: wording
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
no_second_troy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:39:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a parent either and don't see myself being ready to be one for another 5 years at the very, very least for these exact reasons. I mean the kid never even asked to be born so for me to be anything other than completely ready in all facets including being emotionally mature enough to handle anything that's gonna come my way is, in my opinion, just not right.
Love_LittleBoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:56:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to a sleepover once and had the usual teen mani/pedi paraphernalia with me: shitty nail polish, lotions, etc.
I went back inside because I'd forgotten something and came back out to the car to my mother having dumped my shit out, yelling at me about how cocoa butter is a sex lubricant.
I brought this up to her recently when she said something about how she was always right when she was mad at me. She still thinks that it was a legitimate reason to be angry at me.
Milphide ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:34:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
True, my parents did make me write down names, phone numbers and places I intended to go, with full addresses. They would never call or come to see if I was there, unless they happened to be here. I know they were only scared for me. But seriously, I could not go if I was unable to tell my parents the way of transportation that was going to be used if we had to go outside my friend's house. I was always (EVERY TIME I LEFT THE HOUSE, LITERALLY) warned about rapers and thieves, even when I was going to a friends home, and even if they met the parents. During the first year of uni, I even had a home phone line. They would call at 7 pm. If I was not there they would call my mobile phone and get angry, then wait a little, call the home line again to see if I'm here, etc... I moved for the second year in a place without home line. And I failed this year because I wanted to do everything I could not do in life before, like going to friends houses, swimming pools, cinemas, conferences, museums, eating out, jogging...I did not know how to manage my time at all, I never felt like studying was demanding an organization since I never had real distractions.
Parents may worry I die, but they should also worry I could not manage to live.
no_second_troy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:57:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's definitely way too much. I would hate for my parents to have gone to those extremes. Especially the deal with the land line phone once you went to school. That would drive me insane. My parents never really harassed me by phone when I left for school. They just texted me pretty often and if I wanted a phone call I could call on my own or they would call if there was something important. In high school they really never went further than asking for where i was going along with names and numbers when I left with people they didn't know. I was really lucky that they gave me my own space and left me to figure out how to be responsible and manage my time.
My cousin had a similar experience to you so I can really see where you're coming from. He had a substantial scholarship to a really great school that he ended up losing because he couldn't handle his school work once my aunt wasn't there to control him all of the time. He had to leave that school and go to a "less prestigious one" and it took him way longer than planned to graduate because it was hard for him to push himself to take care of his responsibilities.
Narpity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:39:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is absurdly controlling...
SidewaysInfinity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:22:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god, I'm not alone. I'm convinced this was the sole reason for my dad buying me a cell phone in high school.
brettf123 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:53:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just don't OVERDO it, go out, have fun, make friends, just make sure you study and get your work done as well
pinotpie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yea my first gf's mom was that way with her. It sucked.
SidewaysInfinity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Part of it was that I'd never needed independent time management skills before that because I always had something I was required to do. If you can develop those and the ability to say no to people now you should be fine!
Rockapp2 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:25:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Finally someone who feels my pain. It took me dropping out of school to get back on track, but It's a little late for me. I got like a 3.4 gpa last year (completely bombed my swimming class because I am afraid of swimming.) and it only brought my gpa up to a 2. It's pretty shitty when you end up not having any time to yourself so you milk the time you can by staying up really late.
thebarbershopwindow ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:35:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly why my rule with my kids has been to let them use their free time as they wish. Neither of them are amazing piano players or future Olympic gold medallists, but they are staggeringly normal.
Especially with teenagers, they only have this time once, I want them to be normal teenagers that experience normal teenage things. It was hard not to laugh when the police turned up with my son a few months ago after they'd caught him and his friends in some abandoned hospital, mainly because I'm glad they were exploring rather than taking drugs or drinking.
StrawberryR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:13:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny, I'm old enough to drink but I've never gotten drunk yet. I've never even had that kind of freedom yet, and now I have a job. The last few years of my adult life have been basically one long summer vacation marked with periods of depression and feelings of worthlessness.
I still actually ask my parents if I can go do something, even though I'm an adult. Man, it's threads like these that make me feel like I'm in some kind of arrested development.
SidewaysInfinity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:01:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't feel too bad friend. I'd still be asking permission if I hadn't moved out as soon as I could, if visits are any indication. And trust me, what happened to me didn't help with feelings of worthlessness even if I am doing the college thing still.
bus_stop_rat_bag ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:36:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I lost a full-tuition National Merit scholarship this way. Sorry this happened to you, but I feel a little better knowing I'm not the only one.
contraigon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just went through exactly the same thing. Good news is, all but the largest of my state-funded scholarships can be earned back if I get my GPA up this year.
Love_LittleBoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oo, now that you put it like this...fuck, same deal.
crazyjavi87 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:53:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here was how I avoided drinking until legal age in canada
me:"Hey dad, can I try that drink you and all the adults try?"
Him:knowing it was horrible tasting"Sure. Just a sip."
me:has a sip"IT TASTES HORRIBLE WHY?"
him:"Because it's beer and it tastes horrible."
coolkid1717 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:41:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. If you're never allowed to have alcohol, then the first time when you do will be without adult supervision and you'll get way too drunk. If you were allowed to drink with your parents they would watch over you and make sure that you didn't get shitfaced. This leads to healthier drinking habits and a type of responsibility that you don't achieve when partying with friends.
TheSlothFather ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:17:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think it depends because I never tried any alcohol until I was 18 or 19 and I couldn't drink it, I would try but I would just gag and spit out. It tasted like a hospital or antiseptic.
Edit: Except for beer, beer tasted like fermented piss.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:42:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mixed drinks. Whiskey tastes like disinfectant. Whiskey and coke? Coke with a bit of a Listerine taste.
TheSlothFather ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:47:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree, my friends have tried most every mixed drink saying, "Oh, you can't even taste the alcohol." But everytime it's the first thing I taste, if there were some drink that tasted like straight Listerine I could drink that.
chaosfire235 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:55:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Same. My friends always look down on mixed drinks for being too light and always pushed me to try full whiskey or beer. Never really got the taste down.
They still joke around that I prefer Dr. Pepper to alcohol. I can't help that soda tastes nice!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:57:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
coolkid1717 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You accidentally typed "the".
KestrelLowing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:12:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the same - eventually it just worked out because I'd just always be the designated driver (and I didn't get too much shit because I'm female in all honesty). There was a bar that served italian cream soda though... I liked when we went to that bar! I love Italian cream sodas.
pandajean626 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:07:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have you tried Dr.Mcgillicuddys? The peppermint and mentholmint ones taste just like drinking mouthwash. They're surprisingly easy to drink, especially the mentholmint one. I used to just throw them in the freezer for a bit and drink them straight...
TheSlothFather ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That actually sounds pretty good, I'll have to try some when I can.
_corwin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mcgillicuddys apple whiskey isn't too bad. I think it's only 30% which probably helps with the smoothness.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The more you drink the less of it you taste. Drink one tastes like shit and burns. Drink two tastes like coke. Drink three tastes. That's it, it just tastes
TheSlothFather ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:01:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's the problem, I like stuff that tastes good, it's the reason I like cooking. I'll just stick with the occasional joint or 2, it doesn't inhibit my decisions as much or my balance.
SuperSlam64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That would be fine in uni if there was no risk of being kicked out of your accommodation for being caught with it though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
TheSlothFather ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:09:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, fam. Listerine used denatured ethanol, much different than regular ethanol and will murder your liver.
coolkid1717 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should try a white Russian. It was the drink that the Dude was always drinking in The Big Lebowski. It's 1 shot vodka, 2 shots of balies (or any other coffee liqure (kaluha)). Then fill the rest up with half and half (or whole milk if you don't have any). It is mixed in a short wide glass with 3-4 ice cubes.
_corwin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Long Island Iced Tea. I imagine you can still probably taste the alcohol, but there are so many other flavors going on that it's not as offensive.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:33:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even if you allow people to drink younger, people will binge drink and get drunk. Young adults all around the world get pissed, also in countries where you can buy alcohol at younger ages. I'm from a country where you could buy beer from the age of 16 and ID checks were quite rare. This just made it such that people start drinking younger and drink just as much in university because that's when you start living on your own and do crazy shit just because you can.
coolkid1717 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:52:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I meant to say i beleive it would increase responsible drinking, not make all binge drinking go away. Yes there will always be people getting shitfaced, but I think it would make the statistics of binge drinking go down. You also get kids that have no idea how little it takes to get drunk and they end up getting alcohol poisoning their first time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more comfortable with adults binge drinking than 16 year olds getting drunk though. Alcohol is super bad for brain development. And I really don't think it would increase responsible drinking. Education might, just letting kids have a glass of wine or beer will not magically turn them into responsible drinkers.
Sirenfes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:26:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You gotta be open with your kids with that. I was allowed a wine cooler or something small like that when I was younger. One wine cooler per camping trip! Parents having a mixed drink and I'm curious of what it tastes like? Sure, have a sip!
Went out to dinner when I was 15 and they insisted I order one drink with it. (Which is legal in my state)
I've got a healthy respect for alcohol and they never had issues with me going out and binging. If I went to a party or to hangout with some friends and I ended up having a drink i would call and ask them to pick me up. They were just glad I was responsible enough not to drink and drive. I didn't end up getting actually drunk until I turned 21.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:07:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read a study that showed that if kids were given alcohol at young ages, they are more likely to binge drink later, not less.
I'm looking for it, will link when I find it.
deityblade ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:06:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That might not entirely be the drinking age.
In my country, the age is 18 except many kids go out and party and get drunk starting at 15 or 16, and we have a horrible drinking culture. Lots of drunk driving, lots of people getting drunk all weekend etc.
Just because you start drinking early, dosen't mean your any safer or healthier about it nesscairly- though I'm not disagreeing with you, I'm sure your countries high age has something to do with it as well
Emmia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
College is all about making up for those 21 years without binge drinking and doing all the drugs. Sweet, someone said "All," Everybody drink.
delorean225 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funny - I just don't see alcohol like that. It's never been a drug to me, just a beverage.
I mean, I've also never had any desire to do drugs anyhow, but still.
Siphon1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So true and especially when they have to hide their drinking in high school where they begin to be encouraged by friends and stuff to get wasted. Then getting wasted just becomes associated with drinking and now you drink to get drunk.
grumpu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:25:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents actually let me have one or two drinks every other weekend or so once I hit 16 or 17. They had to be home and I couldn't have friends over if I wanted alcohol, but it kept me from going fucking nuts in college since it wasn't novel anymore.
BeerBong4aBaby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:04:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, in ireland most of us start drinking in fields when we're 15 years old, then spend the next 10 years coming home and puking a spicebag into our toilets.
Big_TX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone uses this argument but they but in Mexico it is very normal to drink with families starting at a younger age, and they still drink a lot. The English drink a lot. In Italy it was traditionally considered barbaric to get drunk, but they get drunk now. Idk if it is to the same extent as the US. In Mexico City there are a lot of French people who party an absurd amount, and do cocaine.
I think people just like to drink
ForsakenSon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think they are saying if people drank earlier they would never drink later, just that if people were made familiar with alcohol and it's affects in an early controlled environment, they would not go insane when given the opportunity that bad been stifled for 21 years.
zeropointcorp ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:09:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can't fucking win.
chaosfire235 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:52:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
1st week after I got my car and my license, my mom sent me to do some grocery shopping. I remember walking down the aisles and realizing that I was totally free to buy the things there that I always wanted but my parents wouldn't get.
Next thing I know, I'm in the car downing a whole tube of Pringles and an entire container of brownies. It was sooooo good. Couldn't help but think then "Christ I'm such a fatass."
sagetrees ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:46:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
moderation really is key with everything, snacks, alcohol etc. Otherwise the moment you get some freedom you'll eat/drink ALL THE THINGS ALL THE TIME
Painting_Agency ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:29:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are my ex-roommate Naomi, lovely woman but she was raised thinking carob was chocolate... when she inevitably tried the real thing she was hooked, like heroin hooked. I've never met a bigger "chocoholic".
wildmaypop ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:40:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm that mom right now, he spends more time with various grandparents than his actual parents, and all they feed him is crap, fast food, boxes of macaroni, candy and soda. They don't have a grasp on what's healthy, and "they're grandparents, they should get to spoil him." So I'm the evil step mother who controls everything he eats at home. I don't refuse to give him that stuff, but it shouldn't be so frequent, and I'll tell him "you can have x if you eat z first." And I help him keep his own garden. I do worry that this isn't the right way to handle it, and that he might go crazy when he gets the freedom to, but I'm the only person in his life that expects him to eat well, I care about his future health, someone has to.
NuclearCandy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:47:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing here. To this day my dad insists that I'm a "carbohydrate addict". Um no, you just bought into the Atkins nonsense of the 90's and never allowed me bread, cereal, cookies, candy of any kind, etc., so I just desperately shoveled it down when I was able to get my hands on it. Also he was a terrible cook so all the meat and veggies he cooked (which was basically all we ever ate) were not spiced or salted, just plain and awful. He meant well but went about it entirely the wrong way. I'm still learning to enjoy junk food in moderation.
PartyPorpoise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom thought I had an eating disorder because I didn't eat much of her food. Really, it was because she was a terrible cook. She made plain boiled chicken most days of the week...
wind_stars_fireflies ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:01:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That happened to a roommate of mine. Her mom was a nutso vegan, sugar is death and health food or nothing type, and when she was out on her own she realized that no one could stop her from eating biscuits and gravy four times a week- so she did. The last time I saw her, she was having trouble getting the weight off but couldn't stop eating shit food. It was like she was making up for a lifetime of being deprived. It was sad.
BenjamintheFox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Should've just stood on the front lawn of her house, shoving cookies in your mouth, going, "How do you like me now, ma?"
Orangejuicel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly this! I used to babysit these kids and there mom was very specific that she only wanted them to watch like 20 minutes of tv a night. She said that she didn't want them turning into zombies, but guess what they turned into when the tv came on? Zombies, couldn't take their eyes off the screen for a second. Obviously going out and being active is better than staying inside watching tv all day, but you should be teaching how to have fun and not need the tv, rather than treating as a treasured prize, cause then that is all they will want.
PartyPorpoise ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:05:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My sisters and I were like this with cable. We'd be glued to the screen on the rare events we had access to it. My parents probably took this as evidence that it was bad for us, but really, if we did have cable, the novelty would have been lost and we wouldn't have been so obsessive. When you so rarely get access to something that you like, and you don't know when the next time you'll get it will be, of course you're gonna binge.
Siphon1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats what I always worried about with the parents who treat their kids like little snow flakes who need special diets. My bro had a friend who wasnt allowed to have candy when he at home. when he came to sleep at our place though, our candy char would be near emptied.
It's like if you never are allowed to have it, youre going to crave it a lot more once you get your first taste and then you have to have a whole lot of self control to not eat all that stuff.
I grew up having sweets around and I have to be careful myself haha. I typically just try not to buy the stuff too often and when I do I keep it out of site so that when I have a craving, I go get it. But it's not like I see it often so that I want one every day
PartyPorpoise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's also a matter of knowing your access is limited, so you take advantage while you can. You don't know when you'll be able to get junk food again, so you go nuts.
mikey-way ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:51:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Off-topic, but I like your username.
Also, I understand that, to a slightly lesser extent. I've seen a lot of examples of pretty much exactly what you said, but also many saying they did the same despite being allowed sweets. Guess there's just no winning, huh?
King_Pele ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:11:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So many parents don't seem to understand this. It's the same thing with alcohol.
What my parents would do is allow me to get whatever kind of candy or chips or treat i wanted and i could eat it on Saturday night and us kids watched a movie. I would usually get kind of sick from all the candy that night that I didn't really want any sugar for the rest of the week.
itsFelbourne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:08:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who had it the opposite; you're definitely correct in my case.
My mom always had dishes full of candy around the house, and a drawer that was always stuffed with snacks. It was such a normal thing that my sister and I didn't even touch it. Even Halloween, we'd eat a tiny bit of candy and the rest would sit in the snack drawer until it went bad. As a kid it boggled my mind how my friends would go through half a grocery bag of candy in one night and all be sick the next day.
Now as an adult I probably touch things like candy/ice cream/cake two or three times a year and don't really like them. I have a well established reputation for passing on dessert in favor of another helping of dinner.
gyroda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:57:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Passing on desert? Not liking sweet things?
Have you ever heard of a cheese board? It might change your life.
shlomoakbar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
absolute madman
keeperofcats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friends in school had a super restrictive religious family. Like, couldn't wear nail polish or makeup of any kind, couldn't wear anything that would show her knees, nothing skimpier than a tee shirt, etc. As soon she was on her own - she was trying all the things!
brettf123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents taught me the opposite, that I could eat whatever (deep fried is a food group to them) I am still trying to get out of it... I hate being as disgusting as i currently am :( parents need to learn to teach children healthy eating habits and MODERATION
magic_beans_talk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was extremely restrictive with food and by the time I was 12 I started sneaking junk food into the house and developed bulimia :(. I'm certain it would never have happened if she'd just allowed me to have some junk food now and again.
01001101101001011 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen that a lot. Kids not allowed to go out turn into coked out whores as soon as they're free.
eazolan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Mom was the same way. These days my Sister and I still can't resist candy. :-/
APsWhoopinRoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing happened to me, but not just with food. I went pretty crazy with booze, weed, and drugs my freshman year. I still did them the other years, but never to the extent of freshman year
VagCookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. Wasn't allowed sweets very often, if at all. Went nuts when I got a job and could buy what I wanted. So many bag of hot cheetos limon and boxes of fruit gushers and cups of pudding.
trancematik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
soOoo your saying you went "coo coo for coco puffs?"
learntouseapostrophe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
at least it was only sugar. I grew up in a religious school and ended up being a gigantic slut for like a decade.
Arful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's kinda how I was. Granted my parents were never health nuts, but my mom cooked EVERY MEAL. We went out to eat for dinner maybe 5 times a year. Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE the fact that I got a home cooked meal every single night and I totally understand how spoiled I was.
But since eating out, even at McDonald's, was SUCH a treat that when I moved out on my own, I realized 1) cooking is hard and time consuming and 2) I could eat out whenever I wanted. Thus my unhealthy fast food craze, and now I have all this extra weight to lose.
FogInTheDog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My first week at college I ate two family size boxes of froot loops by myself. I was never allowed sugar cereal at home. Cyan poops for days.
jimibulgin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's always someone elses fault, isn't it?
Bam801 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was never restricted from foods, but I'll be damned if I didn't eat a whole tub of cookie dough raw when I got my first place.
For the record I did this over a week.
Sawses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep! Super strict rules are the best way to ensure you go off the deep end later. I was allowed to eat as much of anything I wanted...As long as I stopped whenever I was full. Then again, I never really had a sweet tooth too much. I don't eat super healthy, but I also don't eat ridiculously terrible food. I think that was partly good parenting and partly plain luck that I wasn't crazy for sweets.
2manymans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My family did the same. The result is that my brothers and I all binged on junk food for years
PartyPorpoise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, whenever I meet a kid who isn't allowed to have junk food, he goes nuts when he does get access to it. My sisters and I were like this in regards to cable TV. We didn't have cable growing up, so whenever we were at a relative's house or whatever that did have it, we would watch soooo much. I'm sure my parents took this as evidence that getting cable would have been bad for us, but really, we only binge watched because cable was so limited to us. If we had cable access more frequently, it would have stopped being a novelty and we wouldn't have wanted to watch cartoons for 8 hours straight, ha ha.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How much weight did you end up gaining? The freshman 15lbs or more?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn son, thats a lot to lose.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:47:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's great, I hope you keep at it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:07:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:38:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, was just curious how wild you went.
IAmBadAtPlanningAhea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its like the girls that grow up in strict religious families, then go away to college and go wild as shit.
SuperSlam64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't let those families get wise.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:23:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
tl;dr: My mom is the reason I'm fat.
MorfienIV ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:30:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God damn parents teaching healthy eating it's your fault I have no self control!
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:32:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
MorfienIV ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol spoons make people fat thanks mom.
I don't see how it's self righteous to point out the fallacy of your logic, and displacement of blame.
Pokemonprime ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 16:52:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your parents are assholes.
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 17:34:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that behavior isn't normal. It's one thing to want your kid to be healthy, but if you're willing to poison your relationship with your child by relentlessly lying to them you've got deep psychological problems.
little_gamie ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:42:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I swear every reddit thread about parents has shit like this upvoted to the top. Everytime I read one i'm convinced more and more my parents deserve a medal for not being dickheads when I was a kid.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:57:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah my parents were controlling af but they never straight up lied about me having an allergy. So weird. I guess some people have kids because they want to have power over something.
TinkerBecca ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:30:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was reading the thread about the worst gifts while I was home over the weekend and actually stopped and said, "Hey mom? Thanks for not being a shitty parent."
Prism_4426 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are they your parents?
little_gamie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is why we NEVER lie to our child. There's no Santa Claus in our house (and never has been), no Tooth Fairy, no Jesus.
RileyRichard ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 16:57:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats how parents end up in a shitty nursing home.
tripletstate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:47:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yea right. Nobody is paying $80k a year for them.
damontoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or under an overpass.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 17:13:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not going to lie, that was a bad move on your parents part
punkwalrus ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:54:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents didn't do this, but MANY parents did where I grew up. "You can't have sugar, you're hyper." Except their birthday. The big lie was "my kid is diabetic." For years in grade school, I had dozens of "diabetic" peers. Then, one year, we had a kid who actually diabetic. Had to take insulin via injection. So the school decided to explain it in part of a mandatory assembly for "handicap awareness" week.
"This is Dean, and Dean is a NORMAL BOY. Only he has to inject needles into his body 2-3 times a day. Show them, Dean..."
Dean awkwardly showed us his diabetic routine.
The school meant well. The 1970s were a different time. But the "diabetic" kids FREAKED OUT. They went home to their parents, hysterical they had to take needles and could die if they don't.
Yeah. That didn't go over well with those parents who thought they had the perfect plan.
Hyperman360 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:44:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was getting caught part of their plan?
BreadCrumbles ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 16:56:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually really fucked up. That could have easily led to a really unhealthy relationship with food.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's really not. Do you know how much sugar is in our diets? I wish my parents did the same to me. Probably added 10 years to his life just from that. At least.
StuckAtWork124 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:29:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's the binging on sugary shit later in life when you find out your parents are lying bastards which leads to the unhealthy food relationship
They never learnt to moderate themselves with sugary stuff due to the lie
BreadCrumbles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:38:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's a difference between telling your kids that sugar is unhealthy in an age appropriate way (such as "Eating too much sugar can make you sick/give you a tummy ache,"), treating it as a "special occasion" food and limiting its consumption when possible, and really pushing healthy snacks like fruits, vegetables, etc. so they learn they're actually pretty tasty OR are just more likely to grab an apple when they want a snack instead of a bag of 95% high fructose corn syrup. (My parents never told me growing up that sugar would make me die, but to this day I fucking love stuff like salads and sweet potatoes)
Believing that any consumption of unhealthy foods will literally kill you isn't a very good mindset to have and if it persists could potentially lead eating habits that are a different kind of unhealthy. Alternatively, (and more likely) when the kid learns the truth, they're probably going to be pissed and want to rebel by stuffing as much greasy, sugary, processed shit into their mouth as quickly as they humanly can.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:12:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
.....I mean, I had kind of at least been understanding until you said they ate your candy. Why didn't they follow it themselves?
0OOOOOO0 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:28:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why would you voluntarily give up your loot to some fairy?
Pizza_Delivery_Dog ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:16:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
because OP thought it would kill him
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:04:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That last paragraph is fucking sadistic.
whatizzit ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:25:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...there was a brother and sister like that at my& my cousin's elementary. their mom told everyone they had diabetes. my aunt would buy certain snacks for the girl because she was in our scout troop and then it turned out both kids were healthy as can be and it pissed off& scared the hell out of my aunt (who is a nurse) because if something ever happened to them, they would've been given the wrong medicines and things and she still talks about it as one of the most irresponsible and scary things she's ever seen a parent do.. so your parents could've been worse, at least they only told you and not the whole world, that you were 'allergic to sugar'.
DistinctionJewelry ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:00:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your parents suck :(
LeVictoire ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:03:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone is calling this the worst one, but sugar is really bad for you and I wish my mom didn't let me drink all that soda when I was younger.
LalaMcTease ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 17:11:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Very big difference between drinking lots of soda and messing up your teeth and stomach, and not giving your kid even a damned birthday cake!
Time_Ocean ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:42:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or letting a child believe he could DIE from involuntary contact with sugar...and by extension, his school and community reacted as if he had an allergy not that his parents were just assholes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda makes sense because as a kid you have to go to about 50 birthday parties a month, but Halloween? That's just once a year!
BigDamnHead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:29 on August 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Look at mister popular over here.
Midnight_Overdose ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:12:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They could have just told him that sugar is bad for him and that he should be eating little of it instead of perpetually lying and telling him that it'll kill him if he eats it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Neutralgray ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:50:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's why parents moderate for them instead of letting the kids get candy for themselves, lying about where it goes, and eating it themselves.
Ashkela ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:16:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So you teach your child 'everything in moderation' instead of 'this will kill you.' Especially if said child ends up having an ACTUAL dangerous allergy/disease. Because once they found out that they weren't allergic to sugar or didn't have diabetes, why would they believe they weren't allergic to peanuts or shellfish or insert other allergen here?
almightySapling ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:20:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The absence of sugar isn't what makes this fucked up. What makes this fucked up is telling the kid they are allergic to and will die from an extremely common substance that is in pretty much all food, even getting the school in on it (seriously, how did that fly? Someone should have called bullshit on "sugar allergy").
This is serious psychological manipulation. And I'd say these parents are royally fucked if they were doing it because they were crazy health nuts. But no, they aren't, because they themselves gorged on his candy. I don't even know what that makes these people, "sadistic abusive assholes" doesn't quite sound serious enough.
akimbocorndogs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Information is the answer, simply preventing you from eating sugar wouldn't be helpful at all.
burgerdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Must be hard living in a black and white world.
How about moderation when it xomes to candy and soda and not acting like fucking lunatics.
StevesRealAccount ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So now you've eaten sugar, and you're going to die. *
Are you happy now?
* - some day
MinisTreeofStupidity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:55:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You had those annoying anti-sugar parents. Fuck those people are cunts.
dantemirror ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:34:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You want kids killing their parents on their sleep? Because this is how you get kids killing their parents on their sleep
Hell I don't get parents outright lying to force their ways with the kids, they got to know sooner or later they are going to be caught on and the kids are never going to trust their ass, and quite possible they are going to send you to the asylum at first chance.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Mom was just like this. Neither I nor any of my brothers and sisters got to have sweets pretty much ever. She unfortunately passed away, and my Dad stopped caring about restricting sugar intake. Finally, I had ice cream to cry into.
pocketpants ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard of other parents doing this but giving the kid a big toy like a remote control car or something like that. Still pretty depressing I guess...candy is fucking delicious.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:05:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is so funny and mean, especially that they just ate all your candy themselves.
salmawesome ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:00:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:'(
DannyPrefect23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:10:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your parents are either geniuses, or dicks.
girusatuku ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is literally just cruel. Explain that sugar can be unhealthy in excess but that sort of deception is just borderline abuse.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is really fucking cruel.
GAGirlChild ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:29:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's literally evil. Wow.
Aayin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The cycle stops with you.
LifeOfTheUnparty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, they're good. They could have at least left money behind
gufcfan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's just... wow.
Smitten_the_Kitten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha! I'm sorry, that is just too funny.
My husband and I are going trick or treating with our kids, damn it!
Twilight-zoned ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha oh man you got fooled big time. Poor kid. At least it didn't bother you, right?
bhuddimaan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha
You poor soul
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your parents are kind of genius.
But also, they could have just said "no sugar." I don't know why people don't just tell their kids what's what. They only whine if it works. When it stops working, they'll stop whining.
OceanSlim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't very common, but this is crazy.
TehKatieMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly you are probably better off for it. My mom wouldn't let me eat sugary cereals and stuff like that and then my dad would spoil me with treats. I don't have a high metabolism anymore and I weigh 200 pounds. I'm struggling to lose weight.
outside_joker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OH MY GOD my parents did the same thing. Turns out my mom had become diabetic because of her addiction to sugar and fucked up her whole digestion tract and metabolism. It sucked missing out on the cake and the sweets at birthday parties. But now I don't eat much sugar because I never developed a taste for it, which is nice.
AkemiDawn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That really sucks but I'm stealing the Halloween Fairy idea. My toddler has a severe peanut allergy so he won't be able to eat a lot of Halloween candy. The Halloween Fairy can bring him starburst and skittles and stuff in exchange for his deadly peanut-y snacks. No crackers or carrots. I'm not a monster.
descender2k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Surely your parents must have told your Aunt about your "allergy". She basically tried to kill you with candy and icecream.
turtlelord_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your parents sound hilarious
Covert_Ruffian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This... this is just a cunt move.
20151123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is the most fucked thing I've read here.
Sunlit5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hell no.
Pixelated_Penguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We call that the "Switch Witch," but it's a one-for-one tradeout for the stuff my kids are ACTUALLY allergic to. (Just dairy now for the older one, but corn for the younger one... which knocks out nearly everything.)
We put the stuff we trade out back in the bowl to give out to trick-or-treaters. :-P
Time_Ocean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ohmygod, I want to murder people in your stead.
amolad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not The Great Pumpkin?
jedi168 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you lie to me. A phrase I said growing up.
koreth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not a fan of the lying, but if your parents kept you from developing a sugar habit they may have done you a huge long-term favor. My parents let me eat lots of candy and dessert as a kid and I've had to struggle really hard with the resulting sweet tooth as an adult. There's basically no evidence saying added sugar is good for health, and plenty of evidence suggesting it's not.
Korsola ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The family I nanny for has a thing called the "switch witch." After trick or treating the switch witch comes and takes the candy and leaves a toy in exchange. They do let the kids pick out about 10 pieces of candy to keep (and they do get treats semi-regularly anyway) so I thought it was genius. The kids don't eat mounds of candy and they're happy with the toys. Win-win.
HyakuJuu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WOW. No offense but fuck your parents.
smartest_kobold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking switch witch.
fanamana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your parents are both Hitler.
MyriadMuse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This pisses me off. Horrible parenting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This made me more likely to have kids. All that sweet Halloween candy I've been missing for the past 7 years will be mine again one day.
Metal-Marauder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your parents are worse than hitler
thegapinglotus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your parents are officially the worst.
LasigArpanet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents only let me have candy on special occasions, like Halloween or my birthday. Otherwise, no candy for me. Turns out, that was a great idea, it made candy seem really special and now as an adult I'm not too fond of candy which has saved trips to the dentist. I'm fairly happy with their decision.
leavingNYCtoday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn that's harsh...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I believed in the Tooth Fairy until I was, like, 12. That's because my mom would write letters in this miniscule handwriting that I'd have to use a magnifying glass for and make a tiny portrait on a Pog. I made her gifts, too, like a surfboard out of a popsicle stick and stuff. She even wrote me a very comforting letter after I lost a tooth down the drain during the Olympics one year. I was going through my mom's stuff (snooping, she's not dead or anything) and she kept all the letters I ever sent the tooth fairy. I kept all of the responses. My tooth fairy's name was Zlata Zapata, by the way. My mom is awesome.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your parents fucking suck ass.
TenmaSama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is not as bad as if they told you that the air outside is poisonous to you and therefor you have to stay inside and watch dancing shows when you want to crush the skull of your enemies instead.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
well...there is sugar in fruit...
kodiakchrome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of that episode of Raising Hope where his parents lied and said he was allergic to fruit, and then he found out he wasn't so he ate everything. Then it turns out he was allergic to starfruit when his tongue swelled up.
skelly815 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This made me so sad for you. They could've at LEAST let you keep it, but they would portion it out for you. It's not like you were going to eat it all at once! That takes all of the fun out of halloween imho. :(
leiawars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When my husband was a junior in high school he spent a year abroad in Brazil. When he came home he brought some highly caffeinated soda. His 3-year-old brother asked his mom if he could have some of the soda. Mind you, the label was entirely in Portuguese, so she couldn't read it, and didn't think to ask my husband. She let his little brother have some and it put him in the hospital. His heart went nuts. His parent's response was to tell him he was allergic to caffeine and chocolate, AND blamed the entire incident and allergy on my husband. This lasted until he was nearly 14 and they never took any responsibility for it.
cimoreneoflinderwall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We had the "vacation fairy" as kids. Whenever my parents went out of town they would leave a bunch of dollar store toys with whomever was taking care of us and if we behaved that day, the vacation fairy would leave us a toy. If not, no toy. I figured this out pretty young but made it my mission in life to convince my little sister she was real for YEARS longer than she had any right to believe.
tripletstate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your parents are fucking awful human beings.
number6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ours eats a little candy after trick or treating. The next day the candy is gone because the "switch witch" replaced it with a new toy.
KingofSheepX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol I wasn't allowed to eat Halloween candy because there was always reports of razor blades in my neighborhood. Every year we would just throw all the candy in the trash can.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure your "Halloween fairy" is actually the Great Pumpkin.
inline-triple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol that is some "raising gazorpazorp" level shit right there.
Chicken_noodle_sui ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jennifer Garner was saying with her kids she does something called the Switch Witch on Halloween. They can eat some of their candy but they have to leave most of it overnight and the Switch Witch will come and swap the candy leftover for a toy. The more candy, the better the toy. So it's a win-win if you don't want your kids eating all that sugar.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What was wrong with your parents??
SunshineAndRaindows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was the best parenting advice ever. Thank you!
ItsAnArt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit your parents suck
ItsAnArt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit your parents suck
joyu123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You poor thing, but then again my dentist bills are through the roof.
digitelle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a 32 year old Candy addict... I would easily do this.
I'm an addict.
theroyaleyeball ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's just not right. >:/
APsWhoopinRoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your parents were assholes
robohymn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually kind of awesome and you should be glad, sugar really is bad shit, when it comes down to it.
burgerdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's child abuse. Moederation? Sure. Helicoptering your kid's school with fucking carrots? Get out of here.
Taylor_Satine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Our son is only 3 but we decided to do the Halloween fairy. He gets to choose some candies he wants out of the pile, and what he wants to sacrifice to the fairy. Then the next day the bag is gone and there is a new toy instead. In everyday life he gets to have treats in moderation, we aren't crazy. We just don't want a big bag of candy for him to ask us for 100x a day.
KY-Jealous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents did the same..minus Halloween fairy. Told all my friends parents and the school I was allergic to sugar.
AdamCam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My son believes that his teeth will fall out if he eats too much sugar, I don't think that's too unreasonable
SinkTube ยท 13997 points ยท Posted at 13:36:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dinner's ready."
Irememberedmypw ยท 1614 points ยท Posted at 15:11:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now set the table as you're here.
RosieEmily ยท 389 points ยท Posted at 15:26:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mums was "Can you hoover the living room after dinner" and then later on "Well since you've got it out, you might as well do the rest of the house" Seriously mum wtf?! Also if got up to go to the toilet it was "Oh, as you're up, can you make me a cup of coffee on the way back?" The kitchen is NOT on the way back from the bathroom! I literally have to take a detour to go into the kitchen!
mildlyincoherent ยท 476 points ยท Posted at 15:46:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My favorite is "Would you like to [do a favor for her]?"
No mom, I would not "like" to do that. I'll do it to be nice, but quit acting like it's something I'd enjoy doing.
wynnyr1 ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 17:10:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My response is always, "Would I like to? No. Will I? Yes."
Depressed_Rex ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:03:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did that a couple times. Got grounded and yelled at, but I did it..
CRISPR ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:06:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I do not know what I was expecting"
Liniis ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:28:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"But it was worth"
bl1y ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:37:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man, why would you get grounded?
How big of a piece of shit do you have to be to complain that you got your way but didn't get it enthusiastically enough?
That's up there with "I shouldn't have to ask."
Bitch, all you have to do is ask and shit gets done? Sorry that's so much work for you.
Depressed_Rex ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:31:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ehh, I get in trouble for "tone" all the time. I guess I'm supposed to say "Oh golly gee gosh! I'm so fliddly excited to go wading in a river for barbed wire!"
darksideclown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In fairness, considering how much your mom has (likely, I don't know you personally) done for you your entire life, you can imagine the kind of feeling the mom gets when their kid gets this face like they were just asked to eat an entire bag of shit when asked to contribute a little bit to the household. Probably some thoughts of why the kid is so ungrateful momentarily flicker in their heads.
Also, nothing like thinking about this from the parents' perspective to remind you that you're getting old, hmm...
cmckone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I said biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch
Tyloo1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:26:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I saidBiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch
Horkpork ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Being the smart ass that I was/am, I always figured that when mom calls you to, "come here," that 9/10 it aint for your benefit and often ends as a request of some sort so I'd just say, "you come here!" I mean, if you need something from me, the least you can do is come to me. Mom didn't like that so much.
I actually just did this over the weekend at a bar. There's this guy who is ok but not my favorite. He was with some new chick I assumed he wanted to introduce me to so he could be all, "aint she cute, therefor aren't I awesome? blah blah," and even though I was in a conversation he hollered from half-way down the bar for me to come over. And even though I was standing and they were sitting I still don't like that shit so I just said, "no," and kept on talking. And he's like, "Dude! Just come over here for a second." And I'm like, "YOU just come over here for a second." Then he just goes sad face. I did go over a few minutes later but I'll be damned if it was gonna be right when he called me. I mean wtf? -Does he think I'll let him pee on me while looking me dead in the eye too!?! I think not!
fighterpilot248 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on the task, and what the situation looks like, I'll respond with a sarcastic "no", and start doing said task.
u_torn ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 16:49:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, in a similar vein:
I'd get asked to do some chore or another and I might sigh and go do it. But that sigh man, "No, don't do me any favors", I mean I'm clearly not going to go flip over all the mattresses in the house for the sheer joy of it.
LainExpLains ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:14:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If nothing else, at least my mom was straightforward about asking me for shit. We're all upstairs in bed, calls from other room "can you run downstairs to get me a glass of water".
Actually she only asked me to do that once, and the glass of water exploded (literally) and she never asked me again.
EmperorPhoenix ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:25:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Please explain
LainExpLains ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:27:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I took a glass out of the dishwasher that had just finished drying, and filled it with ice from the machine, and then immediately water. Shards of glass went everywhere including my face. Could happen to anyone really, but I'd done the same thing a ton of times and was pretty fucking shocked as an 8 year old that my glass of water just exploded literally in my face.
S4ngu ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:18:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did that but with boiling water into a cold glass, luckily the glass very neatly split in two.
LainExpLains ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:50:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine actually busted pieces from the center of the glass out of it while still remaining mostly in the shape of a glass. It was very clearly not dropped, yet in pieces. I handed my mom the glass and was like "heres your water". She was so confused.
kingswaggy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like Final Destination?
Kerrigore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:18:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you accidentally fill it from the Sodium tap?
LainExpLains ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, my dishwasher had quite literally just finished running and the glasses were pretty hot. I always liked watching the ice crack in the glass when I filled it with water, this time apparently more then the ice cracked. No one had ever told me how really hot + really cold = extremely violent reactions.
gerald_bostock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What can I say, it tastes pretty good.
compwalla ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:52:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! I don't ask. I show them the to do list for the day and dole out the chores. I can't count how many times I've said "It is not my job or your dad's job to do this stuff; it's the job of everyone who lives here to contribute to the upkeep of the house."
When my oldest was maybe ten or eleven he said, "Dad, it's really nice of you to help Mom with the kitchen." And my husband said, "No, I'm not 'helping' your mom. It's not her job; it's our job."
Which reminds me, I've got to dole out the chores for today....
SamSamSammmmm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:28:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sir, I think you and your wife have set some great exampkes for your children.
compwalla ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:47:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well thanks. But I am the mom in this situation. Either way, my husband and I thank you for the compliment. Now if we could figure out how to get the chores done with 50% less grousing, that would really be something.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Withhold the wifi password until chores are done ;)
mildlyincoherent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hah yeah, I'm like that with the kids I deal with too. No ambiguity.
chrisalexbrock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But isn't that, like... all the ambiguity?
throwaway10241988 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:50:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
just pulling weeds out of the lawn with a great big smile on your face
Solaer ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:50:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's some emotionally manipulative bullshit. I'm 26 and my dad does that to this day. Ask me a favor and I'm more than happy to help you out, but if you say it like this, assuming I'm going to do it, it only pisses me off. I've started saying no...
contecorsair ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:51:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh! I'm 25 and visiting my parents for a week, it's day #2 and I'm already pissed off. Someone, not me, left the bathroom door open after using it and a gust of wind came through the house and slammed the door, which startled my dad sitting in the other room so he completely over reacted shouting in my direction "HOW HARD IS IS TO PROP OPEN THE DOOR?!" He kept repeating himself as I sat there ignoring him, about the fifth time he said it, I looked at him and said, "apparently pretty hard." My whole life until now I would have apologized and jumped up to prop open the door without a 2nd thought, but now that I've been living on my own for a few years I'm just starting to think that maybe that sort of behavior isn't normal, and I'm not responsible for his lazy bad attitude.
mildlyincoherent ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:01:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Yeah I take time off from work to come back for the holidays and she wants me to fix half the house. I'm stressed, tired, and just want to relax. But I'm willing to put that all aside and do it anyways...but not if she acts like that. I started refusing to do it until she asks like a respectful adult.
ApolloThunder ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:00:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People trying to get me to do stuff this way makes my blood boil.
Used to have a coworker that would do this. "Would you like too..." Or "I'm sure you'd like to..."
HELL NO. The day my wife started doing it, I told her to stop. If you want me to do something, just ask me like an adult. As me "Would you kindly go do..." and I'll go do it just because it amuses me to.
Brock_Music ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:58:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Would you kindly..."
ApolloThunder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A man chooses, a slave obeys
Jaggedrain ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:24:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was always like 'and you can wipe down the counters, and you can wash the dishes' and I was like 'gosh really may I?'
Rockapp2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:06:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite is "Can you do me a favor?" and then they ask anyway, as if my opinion mattered anyways. If I said no, I would still be expected to do the 'favor' - that's not a fucking favor that is a task.
MyNameisAnsem ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:40:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad says something like this all the time. "Do you want to (insert task here)?"
I mean, I don't mind doing it, but just ask me if I can, not if I want to.
ThePointMan117 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:11:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
your comment made my blood boil. my mom did this every time with me and my brother. she tried this a week ago too and i told her flat out, no i wont do a favor for him because i dont damn well want too. (we both are 27)
pm-me-ur-shlong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also my mother always asked. I remember asking her about it. There's no sense in asking me to do something when I have to do it anyways.
Inb4 link to illusion of control wikipedia page
AnonymousDratini ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad does this.
kairisika ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, I wouldn't.
If you're requesting it of me, just ask "would you do it please?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:24 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In a similar vain, being Irish my mother would say almost daily.
i get up Mom: "Ohhhhh! Are you making tea?" Me: "No, i'm just leaving the room" Mom: "Oh right so. Well can you make me a cup anyway?"
Or the alternative.
Mom: "Oh, I'd love a cup of tea" stares at me Me: "Would you yeah? /s"
TheNewHumanism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My husband does this.
"You want to drop off my dry cleaning today?"
Like hell I do. But now if I go out and don't drop it off, I look like an asshole.
lesbian_sourfruit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:15:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like that's a pretty common way to make a polite request....
chalkwalk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I would be grateful if you..." When I was growing up I hadn't fully grasped nuance and it took me a full decade to realize that she wasn't asking nicely, but demanding in a very insincere fashion.
Sunshine_of_your_Lov ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:33:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
seems like a pretty sincere way to do it actually
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:16:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
chalkwalk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:21:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually asking me to do something would have gotten me off my ass. Tying it to her emotional state didn't connect me to the chores. It was asking without stating an actual desire or need.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:30:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Horkpork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would like the answer to this as well.
chrisalexbrock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ditto
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I found that when someone is actually asking instead of telling, I am more likely to go do the task, and without waiting, because I do feel like contributing. It's amazing what freedom of choice can do.
gayzombie ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:01:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah mom, lady who birthed me, fed me, washed me, was there for all my boo-boos, FUCK YOU
mxzf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:23:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If my parents ask/tell me to do something, I will, I respect them enough to do that even as an adult. But if you ask me if I'd like to do something, I'll answer with an honest "no" if I don't feel like it. I've got no issue doing things if I need to, but a passive aggressive tangential question will get an honest answer.
mildlyincoherent ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:31:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I respect all the work my mother did raising me. Despite the fact that she fucked up a good chunk of it.
That does not mean she gets carte blanche to be passive aggressive, manipulative, or otherwise harmful to me for the rest of my adult life. Nor does it mean I am obligated to do 100% of the things she wants me to do, at the expense of myself. There's nothing wrong with asking her to act like a mature adult, and refusing to put up with harmful behaviors on her part.
Thanks for being so judgemental though.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:37:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mildlyincoherent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Context is important. "Thanks for visiting. I know you're only back for a few days, and are tired from working 14 hour shifts but I'd really appreciate it if you helped rebuild the porch" is a pretty damn far cry from "Would you like to rebuild the porch for me?"
It's asking for a favor without actually asking. It's presumptuous, entitled, and strongly insinuates that there is only one right answer. If the answer is "no" it tends to spiral into guilt tripping and other manipulation.
tl;dr If you want to ask for a favor then actually ask for it. Don't demand it, especially not in a way that makes it sound like you're offering someone something they should enjoy.
gayzombie ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't being judgmental. I was replying with a stupid comment on a stupid forum. I don't really care how your momma raised you. Good luck with life! Ps I didn't even get passed the 4th or 5th word or your reply ๐
mildlyincoherent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Can't say I blame you, "the" must seem like a pretty challenging word for someone of your intellect.
gayzombie ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:19:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom was a whore. That's why you were raised like a little bitch
gayzombie ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Got you to reply ๐
chrisalexbrock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
....congrats?
gayzombie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, baby ๐
chrisalexbrock ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:'D ?
lifesizepenguin ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:34:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha my mum used to do this to me constantly when my room was on the top floor of our house. If i argued, she would tell me "not to be lazy"! Whilst sitting in the living room 15ft away from the kettle. Unbelievable
+1 on the hoovering thing too
boxingdude ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:52:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Heck my dad used to walk past the kitchen and fridge just to open my door and tell me to get him a beer. I'm like seriously dad? It takes less effort on your part to grab a beer out the fridge than it takes to walk to my room. He'd actually go out of us way to be a pain in my ass.
DougSTL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because he had to put up with your shit.
Also let's be realistic, that's a funny thing to do.
boxingdude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:25:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was. He was a dick sometimes but he was funny.
volabimus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:57:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foot-in-the-door_technique
LifeOfTheUnparty ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:05:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad hid nothing. It wasn't "while you're up," it was just "hey, go grab my wallet from upstairs," or "run down to the basement and get me a Pepsi." He'd call me into the living room from the kitchen where I was working on homework or dishes and ask for a refill of his wine or scotch. I don't drink, but I know how to properly pour wine and fix his scotch.
He was lazy after a day of work, and there's no need to do something when the kids can get it.
neonerz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lazy? Probably more like tired.
LifeOfTheUnparty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Apologies, that would be a better word
SuchACommonBird ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:35:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, my wife does this to me, then goes all pouty when I respond with anything other than yes.
chrisalexbrock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gym. Lawyer. Facebook.
SuchACommonBird ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:50:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Friend my gym's lawyer on Facebook?
FuriousErection ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:53:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just get your mom a cup of coffee and quit yer bitchin'. Do you have any idea what she went through to get you here?
IHaveNothing2Say ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:19:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was her choice.
FuriousErection ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:24:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You don't know his mom. Maybe she was friends with Bill Cosby.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:33:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SinkTube ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:47:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A sacrifice nobody asked her to make.
NonaSuomi282 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:48:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And a sacrifice that he didn't ask to be made. That knife cuts both ways, chum.
SinkTube ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:03:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How is that cutting both ways? It's literally the same thing I said, except you included the person not doing the asking.
IHaveNothing2Say ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:52:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eh. Parents don't have kids for the sake of the kid, they have kids because they wanted to. If I buy a new camera or adopt a dog it's not a sacrifice so why would having a kid be one?
Iorith ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:31:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't ask her to, would rather she didn't.
AlpacaPower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah this is no use. I would gladly jump over the moon for my mom, no matter how she asked. I'm just assuming that everyone's mom here was a terrible person and they enjoyed being problematic.
Blahblahboogerbutt ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:51:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She gave birth to you and does a million things you'll never, a) notice, and/or b) thank her for. Hoover the house and get her a damn cup of coffee without complaining :)
RosieEmily ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:05:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well to be fair, when my sister and I lived at home, we used to clean the house top to bottom every thursday, do the washing up after every meal, help with the shopping, hang the laundry, and take turns to make dinner. So we weren't exactly lazy layabouts in the home.
Blahblahboogerbutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's great! You guys sound very helpful :) Learning how to cook BEFORE you move out is awesome. My mom operated on a "get out of my kitchen" so my boyfriend taught me how to cook and use spices and flavours properly. It's made eating real food (not Kraft dinner or frozen pizzas) much less boring.
chrisalexbrock ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:25:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom stopped cooking when my sister went to college.
contecorsair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This comment made me glad to be the oldest.
westlyroots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:32 on August 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And if you get the right ingredients money saving too!
walterpeck1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad was infamous for "hey, do you have your shoes on?" as an excuse to get me to do things for him outside. Because apparently he was incapable of just asking me to do something or putting on his shoes.
Gnivil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Dad does shit like this, and he gives me a fucking grin while he does it. He knows. He knows.
RosieEmily ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:21:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll admit I'm guilty of playing this game with my husband.
Me: Would you like a beer dear?
Him: Hmm yeah I would
Me: Ooh lovely, grab us one while you're up.
Illuminaughty21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom walks past the dogs water bowl and says "illuminaughty21, the dog needs water". Its even better when I'm NOWHERE near the dogs water bowl.
ZorbaTHut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 34 years old and my mom still does that. And she wonders why I now frequently refuse to help her out "for a few minutes".
Sorry, can't help you out for five minutes, I have to go in half an hour and there just isn't time.
fghjconner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom will, while sitting one room over from the back door, yell at me on the other side of the house to come let the dog out.
neonerz ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:05:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom spent the first few years of your life literally wiping your ass, then doing pretty much everything else for you up to this point. The least you could do is make her a god damn cup of coffee, is what I'd say to my son if he ever develops this type of attitude about doing stuff like this.
Though we are smart, we started training him early. He's only 15 months, and already knows how to help out away the laundry.
Padmerton ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God forbid we help our parents with household chores!
RosieEmily ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:21:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well if you read my other reply, you'll see that myself and my sister did help out a lot. It was in equal household when I lived at home just as it is in equal household now that I live with my husband.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:04:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A classic from my dad: "while you're standing, grab me [X]"
Usually the person asked would be sitting at that very moment.
_Notmy_realaccount_ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:33:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad right there. My sister and I would be in one room playing something on PS2. He'd shout out asking one of us to come here, across the house in the living room. Then he'd ask whoever showed up to hand him the remote, which was five or six feet away from him max.
SamSamSammmmm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:22:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking from the kids side, that's not an unfair thing to do. She preps and cooks, kid sets the table. Kid gets way better deal.
rotll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Totally valid request if I am busy getting things to the table, plating whatever, or finishing off some last thing. Wouldn't bother me a bit in the least making that request. Or reminding those at the table that since I cooked, they get to do dishes.
DarthToothbrush ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:46:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah my mom is great at this. "Now that you're over I just have some paperwork that got sent here by mistake, and can you get some boxes from the garage for me? Also we're going to church sunday and it'd be nice if you'd come. And have you thought about going back to school?"
jdero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:13:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the tables have turned
Kiyoko504 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You set the table forks on the right, you could just switch the silverware to the left, mom is like "its all wrong start over" "but I could..." "are you back talking me, go to your room" five minutes later "I thought I told you to set the table"
ivebeenherelonger ยท 20495 points ยท Posted at 15:35:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kid: Five minutes Mom!
Mom: NOW!
Kid: heads to the dinner table Where is dinner?
Mom: It will be ready in five minutes.
[deleted] ยท 11010 points ยท Posted at 15:43:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Throoweweiz ยท 7550 points ยท Posted at 15:58:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Similar to the classic
Mom: HEY THROOWEWEIZ!!!
Kid: What...
Kid 10 seconds later : WHAAT!!!!
Mom: Don't you shout at me!!
hotbbqtonite ยท 3522 points ยท Posted at 16:26:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this every time with my mom
Mom:HOTBBQTONITE!
kid me: yeah?
wait a bit no response
kid me: yeah mom?
still no response
Mom: HOTBBQTONITE!
sigh pause videogame, get off couch, climb stairs out of basement
Mom: do you want lunch?
every. damn. time.
quinn_drummer ยท 1197 points ยท Posted at 16:35:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
well, do you want lunch?
[deleted] ยท 2644 points ยท Posted at 16:38:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 556 points ยท Posted at 16:51:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
coldfu ยท 345 points ยท Posted at 16:54:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
MIKE ECHO TANGO ALPHA
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:47:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it's so meta, even that acronym is
RayNele ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:49:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:50:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
referring to the comment above mine
Pulse207 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:00:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but that's what the is made by It's So etc. is for.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:04:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
no as in the comment above that one. the MIKE ECHO TANGO ALPHA
Pulse207 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:29:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but "it's so meta, even that acronym" spells out "is meta". You don't need "is" twice.
only_sometimes_haiku ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean...
Xiretza ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:05:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well yes, that's what the phonetic alphabet is.
ImNotADeer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:07:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You tried
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:08:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
rephrasing: It's so meta, even that acronym is MIKE ECHO TANGO ALPHA
ImNotADeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:47 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you need help?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:49 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i know. i rephrased it for a reason, so it would have the meaning, while incorporating the comment above it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:56:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ISMETAI.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i was referring to /u/coldfu's comment.
Yep-ThatsTheJoke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So close.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:47:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
?
MIKE ECHO TANGO ALPHA
Yep-ThatsTheJoke ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:54:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right. But I assumed by using those exact words, you were attempting to also make a meta acronym (like everyone else who uses that wording). Yours ends up "It's so meta even that acronym is (ISMETAI)."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it's why i said It's so meta, even that acronym is, instead of the usual I'm so meta, even this acronym.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"it's so meta even that acronym"
Adding "is" ruins it, as Bill Clinton will tell you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
when i refer to "that" acronym, i am referring to /u/coldfu's comment.
RuneLFox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You don't need the final is, btw.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
when i say referring to "that acronym", i'm referring to /u/coldfu's comment.
RuneLFox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I know that, but the line is originally from XKCD I think.
"I'm So Meta, Even This Acronym", which is ISMETA, as an acronym.
Your one as an acronym would be ISMETAI, which isn't fully correct. ;D
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i know, i was trying to put a spin on the original line, but with the MIKE ECHO TANGO ALPHA as the acronym, and honestly, this is the only way i could think of. it's why i say that acronym instead of this acronym.
RuneLFox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but you didn't need the is at the en--why am I so militant about this?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i just had the is, because otherwise the acronym would be "it's so meta, even that acronym M.E.T.A", instead of what it is this way, "It's so meta, even that acronym is M.E.T.A".
RuneLFox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, but your comment spelled ISMETA if it was an acronym as well. I guess I see what you were trying to achieve. I'm just salty.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, i expected a bit of confusion, i was just trying to change the formula a bit, that's all.
RuneLFox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HOW DARE YOU NOT CONFORM
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ANARCHY!
RuneLFox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
BURN THE HERETIC
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm enjoying that this is going over peoples head. Kind of obvious what you did there.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:)
rtx447 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:24:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT, Cotton
gaminggator ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:01:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ALPHA YANKEE YANKEE Gringo!!!
Bleda412 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:09:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LIMA OSCAR LIMA
off-topic_guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
rainbow 6 vegas two
SwaggJones ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:02:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SIERRA
HOTEL
INDIA
ECHO
LIMA
DELTA
StickitFlipit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whiskey tango foxtrot? Lima Oscar Lima.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
harambe
yoLeaveMeAlone ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:30:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Anybody got a link to this video? Love it but can't find it anywhere
DARIF ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:27:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
StoneMountain64 YOLO on the Battlefield
NitroMuffin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:25:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That video was the greatest
NoThisIsStupider ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:00:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it an i5 or an i7? /s
cutdownthere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
bursts of laughter
goshfeckingdarnit ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 17:59:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad was a gamer, and my mom played her fair share of Quake II when I was a toddler.
Lucky me, I would get "Come downstairs when that match is over" instead of just "Pause it!"
flameoguy ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 19:03:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lucky bastard
huzaifa96 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:34:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your parents sound cool af
_Wisely_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:41:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Please forgive me for saying "lucky bitch, fuck you" at my phone screen.
LiquidSilver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:45:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How old are you?
goshfeckingdarnit ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:52:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Freshly 21.
My birthday present from my dad was a trip to Quakecon
dank_Blank ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 17:41:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Literally every single day.
"Honey, you can just pause it and play later when we get back"
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:01:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm going to turn off the power.."
"But mom I'm not to the next save point yet let me pause it and keep it on, or let me get to the save point!"
Fuck you random ass save points at beginning or end of maps and no where else.
Jojharryson ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 17:09:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my mom always said if i can't pause i shouldn't play it
ffxivthrowaway03 ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 17:28:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guess you shouldn't go outside and play football then.
Siphon1 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:12:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the quarter back throws the ball to 32. It's almost there! Wait! appears 32's mom has called him from across the house.
32 looks to be in panic. An now he's heading for the side lines. Im getting reports that 32's mm is asking if he wants lunch. Mean while 43 on the defending team has intercepted the ball and scored.
32 is still AFK! theres no one fill his position . The quarter back has Afk'd and is no raging at his team.
Let's listen in. "Yoo Gize Suk. I cant believe Im getting stuck with a a bunch of mama's boys who dont even know how to make a play. Im reporting all of you."
it appears 32 has returned to find half his team is fighting in chat while the other half attempts to salvage the game. the team was winning by 3 but is no a whopping 28 behind.
GG mates
Jojharryson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
or any sport for that matter
Roast_A_Botch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Time-out"
Jedimilk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing it was so horrible
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:45:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DarkStar5758 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:52:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should at least give him warning instead of just telling him the second you need him.
Fabgrrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I do. Five or 10 minutes out. Attention span of a gnat.
yoLeaveMeAlone ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:32:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But if it can't be paused, that likely means he is playing a multiplayer game. Do you want your son to not be able to play a lot of games, and not be able to play with his friends?
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
westlyroots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:55 on August 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was playing multiplayer ever since I was 6.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:37:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:08:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:27:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Fabgrrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm terribly sorry, I took the "took me and my parents a while" line to mean it was a recent occurrence. My mistake.
madeingina ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:50:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Give him a warning then so he knows to start coming off or not to start another match.
Greenhound ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:05:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my mum thinks i should abandon competitive matches of cs or lol upon being asked to do trivial tasks that i can do in a minute after the damn game is over
'whats more important, your game or me?'
well it's clearly you but surely it can wait 10 fucking minutes
but in the end i'd rather piss off 4 ruskis than my mother so i normally end up abandoning
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:08:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:26:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait until she's at the last boss of a group dungeon and tell her to pause the game for 2 hours.
tourmaline82 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:50:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or a world event. "Oh, Tequatl's up? I need to talk to you NOW, just pause it!"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:52:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
CyberNinjaZero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bonus points for asking "what's more important the game or me?"
greeneighty ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:50:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've trained my parents to accept this fact after showing them that the game continues on without me and adversely affects my friend that I'm playing with, who lives in another country.
Unrelated: if I don't show up for food, they eat without me.
Askesis1017 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:40:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up with Monica; if you didn't eat fast, you didn't eat!
Rylan1230 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:14:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
well I once got an entire MW2 game full of people to pause so I guess miracles do exist
minkhandjob ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:15:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone complaining about meals being made for them. Shit.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:20:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not that there is a meal. It's that people are busy doing shit and are forced to drop what they're doing for a damn sandwich.
If you were at work stuck with 20 mins left of work on the clock before your break you don't just get up early and go for lunch because that just pisses off your boss and leaves unfinished work. You finish and then clock out. Same thing can apply for videogames too.
lighning321 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:28:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes its not even for a sandwich, its "Hey do you want some x food that will be ready in x minutes?"
dukeofnachos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's more that we get called away to wait for the meal to be done when we could just as easily be called after it's ready. Especially when it's something that we can't pause or would lose progress on if we just turn it off now instead of five minutes from now.
Scientific_Methods ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 18:24:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a 2 year old and I'm now wondering if she's going to be this ungrateful in 10 years.
advertentlyvertical ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:45:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They always become ungrateful as soon as the warranty is up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good luck. You'll need it.
samw556 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't he say he paused it tho?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:30:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
THANKS MOM HE FUCKING SCORED ON THE KICKOFF
ukiyoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Feeling old. I guess I played MUD though.
TesticleMeElmo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
NO MOM, BATHROOM!
Gaddafo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: Can you ask them to wait for you?
Siphon1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OMG this. It is SSSOOOOO hard trying to get my parents to understand this about video games. While some games I dont mind leavings such as an fps, other games like mobas you simply cant leave.
And of course it will be mid match of heroes of the storm when supper is ready and God forbid you you go eat a bit later.
Now Ive had to quit, get leaver penalty, lose exp I would get from winning a game, and leave my team with a bot for tank role.
TransformerTanooki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't pause the Atari 2600 either. Ya see they had this problem long ago to. Mom's will never get it.
mewfahsah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good god I don't know how many times I had to explain that to my dad.
pivotraze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God that was a common phrase in my household...
solidwolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stop lying of course you can!
ferret_80 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm playing with other people online. I can't just stop their game also.
Oh my god, do they know your name, are you being safe. Are they going to hack us?
sigh no they don't know my real name, they can't hack me
faceplanted ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just took to shouting "I'm on the phone", because for some reason it's more impolite to hang up on someone than it is to abandon a team you're playing a video game with half way through.
It was probably that she just had a better understanding of phone calls than she did online interactions, and she could see the headset more than she could look at a game and see if it was online.
Acerock980 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just pause the game and come here. My wife finally, after I got her an Xbox one learned that no you cannot just pause a game that is being played online.
Prof_Acorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sure, I'll take out the garbage, just let me get to a save point."
Playing Skyrim
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I AM NOT A VIDEO GAME PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP
Chaozticz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They never understand...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
nervously rocking back and forth in chair holding my sides
EVERY.DAMN.TIME.
wise_comment ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is your generation's version of mines "it doesn't save"
....... It usually saved
lighning321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god my mom has so many trust issues when it comes to the whole pausing thing. Because back when I got my first console I had managed to convince her that there was no pause button for several years. Then one day her friend ruined it for me and told her about that there was a pause feature that whole time. So now she always flips out on me when I say something along the lines of "Hang on I can't pause/walk away right now!" it really drives her crazy when I'm playing something that the multiplayer has a pause screen on it which doesn't do anything other than let you access the options menu.
Jacosion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife kept getting really mad at me when she'd ask me "can you pause that for a minute?" and I'd say "no". Until she realized that I was serious.
Godzilla2y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm steam friends with a guy whose name was "MOM I CAN'T PAUSE" for the longest time
x_JUMPER_CABLE_MOM_x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
but my husband will beat you up again if you don't
Kbost92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I CANT EAT RIGHT NOW ANOTHER SETTLEMENT NEEDS MY HELP
MyPacman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nephew loves visiting our gaming home, rules change from -
'end the game before I pull the power plug out'
to our rules which are -
'it is rude to disconnect from this game, people are depending on me'
Drives my sister crazy.
IA_Royalty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like to think that Millenials, as parents, will at least understand this concept
Luminya1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, this one I get. My sons got tired of trying to explain this one to me so instead they taught me online gaming mmorpg style. I quickly learned that when you are on a raid and either the mt or main healer, there is no such thing as pausing. You are playing full tilt and no one better disturb you!
Metamorphis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Just save it then!", she said... Took some time till she understood how it worked, why I sometimes had to find a place to save before I could turn off the console (mostly during my first play through of ff9 when I was a kid) and why I couldn't leave an online game when she wanted me to. She understood how it all worked eventually and yelling basically stopped when we respected each other.
ZetsubouZolo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:21:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think I was really lucky that my parents were interested enough in my hobbies to understand that I had to find a save point first before shutting down the game or all my progress was lost.
I heard from many kids that their parents would just turn off the console mid game . Mine never did that
8696David ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:40 on August 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SON, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A VIDEOGAME PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP
That_secret_chord ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:06:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you_got_fragged ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:10:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/HGwermHQwkU?t=4m47s
Funky_Pickle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:25:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No he wants a hot bbq tonight
im_a_smart_one ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:22:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Teenagers always want lunch, even if they just ate.
hmmmhaha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah he wants a hotbbqtonite, pretty obvious I thought
Dorover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every. Damn. Time.
TheOddEyes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He wants it every. Damn. Time
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I kind of want lunch...
Muzer0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, he wants a hot barbecue tonight.
Forestisinthetrees ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 16:52:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man I would have killed for someone to make me lunch. I always had to pull out the barstool and climb my way up to make a sandwich.
TheLazyProjector ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 16:49:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Things could be worse though. You get lunch, which is dope
fripletister ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:10:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I sure hope not. That's abuseโฆ
supersonicmike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You never had a peanut butter and heroin sandwich? Delicious
TheLazyProjector ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:21:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean he sounded old enough that he could make lunch for himself, so idk if it's abuse really
fripletister ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:44:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't care if the kid is in high school; it's not acceptable to replace their lunch with smack.
TheLazyProjector ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:48:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol jesus.... whoosh... that went right over my head ๐
workingbored ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:42:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. Don't give kids dope for lunch.
TheB-Span ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 16:53:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How dare she make you a lunch
Plsdontreadthis ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:20:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't read your username and just assumed your mom was telling you about a hot bbq that night. It certainly made the story more interesting.
BiIbo_Faggins ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:55:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would give up a lot to have my mom make me lunch again :(
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:51:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once Mistook my dad stubbing his toe on the coffee table for him wanting me for something.
skulltrumpetman ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 17:20:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Son of a bitch!"
"Yes, father?"
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:26:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Damn it Bastard!!"
"Uh, yes?"
MachTwelve ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:33:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure about your family, but this was a power thing in my house. If I tried the yell across the house thing, my parents would pretend to not hear it and would wait for me to come to them to ask them in person, even if they called me from across the house and I responded.
Penguinfernal ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:47:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tell me about it.
Mom: PENGUINFERNAL!!
Me: Oh fuck, she found my reddit handle! burns everything
abefroman78 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:01:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So wait, your mad that you had to get up and stop playing your video game to go and answer your mom who is probably busy making your lunch already? Makes sense to me!
hotbbqtonite ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:50:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wasn't mad it was just frustrating when I was a kid to have to get up off my lazy ass and go to her in person. Now as an old guy I realize it was just her to try and make me not be so lazy and more polite.
abefroman78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's right! You show your mom some damn respect. But really, I remember rolling my eyes at everything at one point in my life as well
abefroman78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And now my teenage daughter gets to do it to me
roryarthurwilliams ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:59:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If she can shout at him from another room and expect him to hear, then I'm sure she can hear him if he shouts back, why should he have to actually go into the room for her to ask him something?
abefroman78 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:29:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, first of all Rory, not sure why you are on reddit seeing as where/when your from shouldn't have the the technology available for you to even be here! And secondly, the reasons anyone (not just OP) should get up are as follows: 1. She is his mother. There should be a level of respect there. 2. She is fixing his his lunch, so the least amount of effort he could do is to get up and tell her (maybe she's hard of hearing?). 3. I'm also assuming she changed his diapers, helped him learn, loved him, cared for him; is it really too much to ask that he get up from a game he's playing to answer his mother? If he was doing a chore or homework, I could see your point, but just because someone is playing a video game? C'mon son
DarthVadersDad94 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:40:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HAHA man killed me at sigh and pause video game. Legit my life. But I don't get lunch.
raydialseeker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:01:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least you have a mom that makes you lunch.
That_Deaf_Guy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:09:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why would she ask if you want lunch when she told you there's a hot bbq tonight?
wtfduud ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:28:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't want lunch, I want hot barbecue tonight!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:00:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents raised us to go wherever they were if they called us, instead of yelling across the house. They were big on that
HalfCasual ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:20:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doing that in my house would have gotten me a belt or switch. If you hear your name called, you don't yell back and ask " what? " You get up and take your ass to wherever you were being summoned. And when you get there, you respond with " yes ma'am or yes sir "
Currently teaching this to my soon to be step kids. Have manners and show respect.
I think this is a southern thing
Mikkels ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:34:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have such a hard life.
jfreez ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:58:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah... That starts over when you get married. At least it did for me.
Hippie_Tech ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:47:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife excels at this. Air conditioner running, TV playing loud enough to be heard over the AC, wife walks out of the room to the kitchen, door to kitchen swings closed...and then I can vaguely hear her say something that is drowned out by her location and the cacophony of sound in the living room. Any attempt to query what was said/asked receives no reply. Queue dropping what I was doing and going to the kitchen to find out what she was saying..."Never mind, I found it."
Totalschaden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I live alone now for 3 years and my mom cooking for me is the thing i miss the most.
shitposter1000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
NO mom I'm IN A BATTLE.
Can't talk mom, I'm IN A BATTLE Not now mom, I'm IN A BATTLE.
ffs
Shadowmeld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought your mom was just really excited about that hot bbq you were going to have that night
TonyBanana420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lucky son of a bitch. One day you won't have lunch, and you'll long for the days when there was always food in the fridge and someone who was happy to prepare it for you
hotbbqtonite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
as a 30 some odd year old man I already long for those days friend.
TonyBanana420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I missed the "kid me" part. Ain't this adult thing a bitch?
Kylynara ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I must be doing something wrong. I'm always having to stop what I'm doing and go to the other end of the house to find out what my kids want. And it's generally to tell me about a mod in Minecraft. I play vanilla dammit!
soswinglifeaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom sounds like a nice person. Free lunch that you don't even have to prepare yourself? Sounds awesome.
SomeIlogicalShit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do want lunch tho
Depressed_Rex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That made my eye twitch just reading it. I swear they turn their ears off whenever they yell for us
sweatybread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pause video game for free food. Sounds like a no brainer. Eat and then resume video game.
Haltheleon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or my personal favorite.
Mom: HALTHELEON!
Me: Yeah?!
5-10 seconds pass
Mom: HALTHELEON!!
Me: YEAH?!
5-10 seconds pass
Mom: HALTHELEON!!!
gets out of chair, goes to living room
Mom: Why weren't you answering me when I called?
Me: -.-
undreamedgore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you me?
iSayWhatYouAllThink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cash in those Good Boy Points and get yourself some tendies son, you earned them
NeedHelpWithExcel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny because 2 years ago before I was a dad I would have agreed
Now I'm like "free lunch?"
Sarahlorien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine is: "Sarahlorien!"
Starts getting up after sitting for 4 ho-
"SARAHLORIEN"
"Hold on I'm still-"
"SARAHLORIEN!! NOW!!"
I'm not kidding when I say this all happens within 5-10 seconds, so when I'm in the middle of doing something and it sometimes takes 30 seconds to put a crochet needle or whatever down, this can happen 3 times over.
Hearbinger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought she was announcing very quickly that you'd be having a hot bbq party that night and couldn't figure out why you were angry.
Scientific_Methods ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hold on a minute. Are you complaining because you had to walk up a flight of stairs for someone to offer to make you free food?
Jonsler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Both my girlfriend and I are gamers so we understand this but, my 17yr old gets so drawn in that he doesn't hear us call him. The second yell is "Acknowledge!" Once he yells back, we know we're good.
rmsurfs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
do you want hot bbq tonite?
PuffinGreen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God damn man I didn't read your username and thought she was just rapidly shouting "hot barbeque tonight!" like it was some sort of smorgasbord on a bbq and I was upset for a second because that sounds awesome.
javyha7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In parents defense, my wife tries to talk to me when she's in other rooms all the time, and I just politely go to whatever room she's in and say "I didn't here a thing you said" So when I think back to these times, I'm more forgiving.
theredpikmin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ur mum: Dinner's ready! HOTBBQTONITE!
You: What are we having, mom?
Ur mum: HOTBBQTONITE!
You: Yeah I know, I'll be there in a second. What are we having?!
Ur mum: HOTBBQTONITE!
You: I already had some snacks over at Baby Ray's place, I want to know if I should eat dinner now or wait and have leftovers. What are we having??
Ur mum: HOTBBQTONITE!
You: Jesus damn it I'll be there in a second!!
JuvenileEloquent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents did this with me, until I learned to bite my tongue and pretend to have heard nothing. They were literally shouting outside my door and I was ignoring them until they came in to see if I was there. You want me to come and find you rather than shout back and forth? Set an example.
maelstrom197 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, I thought it was just me. My parents believe that if I want to talk to them, I need to go to them, and if they want to talk to me, I need to go to them as well.
Eramy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well she already told you there'd be hot bbq tonight. That's on you for not listening properly.
Kiyoko504 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh but if you shout from the basement, she'll come to the top of the stairs "Yell for me one more time and I'll smack your face"
Tudoreleuu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad keeps doing this, and I have no idea why. I'm like 5 meters away, dad, just tell me what you want to say. I don't have to be right there to hear all about how you sent me a link on facebook and how I should check it out.
amrasmin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
omw so true
ArelyJoana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
text from mom: can I speak to you? text from me: what about? text from mom: just come downstairs I need to talk to you about something? sweat drips down my neck please let it not be this or that, you don't think she found your... no. walks downstairs to the living room mom: "Can you look at my phone? Earlier I was on Facebook and I clicked on an article that was on your aunt Martha's page and now it's telling me I have a virus..."
For f*&$'s sake mother...
gerald_bostock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just sitting here imagining your mothers calling you by your reddit usernames.
wildabeast861 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every time im on the phone with my mom
kid: hey do you want lunch?
Mom: sure where to?
kid: IDK you pick?
Mom: What i cant hear you?
kid: I DONT KNOW YOU PICK
Mom: WHAT!!?!?!
kid; I DDDDDDDOOOOOOOONNNNNNTTTTT KKKKKKNNNNNOOOOWWWWW YYYOOOOOUUUU PPPPIIIICCCCKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!
Mom: WILDABEAST YOU DO NOT TALK TO YOUR MOTHER LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!
bullsonparade90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it's sweet that your mom calls you by your username though, at least she tries.
kleinePfoten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They do this on purpose to make you come to where they are because they don't want to encourage shouting across the house. And apparently you fell for it. Every time. :P
theabcsong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:(
Black_Lannister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Look at this guy, he has a basement AND a mom that gives him lunch.
zack_the_man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For me it's more like"can you take this Downstairs for me?"
UmphreysMcGee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a parent I admit that I have a double standard when it comes to yelling upstairs to get the kids attention. If they yell for me or my wife, they get ignored until they get off their lazy ass and walk downstairs to find us.
Plattbagarn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: Plattbagarn!
Me: What?
No response
Mom: Plattbagarn!!
Me: What is it?
Mom: Come down!
Pause game, get out of chair, go downstairs, ask again what she wants.
Mom: Bring [item X] from [room upstairs].
ApricotPenguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought your mom was announcing that there was a HOT BBQ tonight ... in chat speak for some reason.
And your only response was "yeah?" - as if you've had that for every single night already
2ekeesWarrior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was so excited for the barbecue your mom was gonna prepare for you.
TerranPower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf kind of question is that? When would you ever not want lunch.
Incognito_Whale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't read the username and thought your mom was announcing that you were having a hot BBQ tonight in a cool, hip fashion. Didn't seem too bad of a deal to me.
Babokaas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can relate.
ImAPixiePrincess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was sick and unable to get up from her chair one time. I was sitting in the same room on a game on my laptop. Just an MMORPG a game I could easily get up and move. She grabbed the house phone and called my brother's cell phone. He was upstairs in his room. She asked him to come downstairs. He came downstairs. She asked him to get her some ice cream from the kitchen. I was RIGHT THERE, but she wanted to ask my brother JUST to bother him. Was hilarious.
Fleim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad used to tell me he doesn't like shouting so if he calls my name, I'm better off just coming downstairs to hear what he has to say
glassfrenchfries ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can only imagine if someone named thier child hotbbqtonite
Mastadge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always gets mad at me when I try to talk to her from another room (read: living room -> kitchen, which are connected) and always tells me to come to the room she's in but then always tries to talk to me when she's in another room and gets mad if I don't stop what I'm doing to go to the room she's in to talk to her.
lousymom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:53 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh this shit is just mom's revenge. Because when we are in the bathroom, the kids scream at us over and over as if they are dying. We finally come running out after abbreviating a poo or s shower and the kid is like "do you know where my other ball is?"
Mortis_XII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Flash backs...no, nooooo
mollieemerald ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a police dispatcher and my officers do this to me constantly when we're in different parts of the station.
Officer: "MOLLIEEMERALD!"
Me: "Yeah?"
(no response)
Officer: "HEY MOLLIEEMERALD!"
Me: "WHAT?"
(no response)
(walk across building to officer)
Me: "What?"
Officer: "Oh hey, can you go back to your desk and do this for me?"
Me: sigh
BatmansOtherCape ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God damn it, fucking THIS. Every. Fucking. Time. I hate this more than anything else, but my parents are overall awesome. I'm definitely glad I'm an adult and can appreciate my parents as people and friends.
g-breh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Parents do this on purpose, they call you and don't respond so that you have to go and talk to them, instead of shouting to them, failing to realise that they initially shouted at you first, destroying their logic of going to talk to someone.
Moral of the story, if you want to talk to someone but cannot be bothered to get up off your fat ass, shout at and then ignore someone until they come find you.
mines_rd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It gets better tho. Your parent is now old and hard of hearing. They start a conversation from the other side of the house. You have to go to them to respond but they start ambling about and they can't hear you.
raunchyfartbomb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Game is almost over, and it's online I can't pause. 5 more minutes.
proceeds to wait ten+ minutes for it to finish cooking
klethra ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:24:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God fucking dammit one of my clients does this to me. She'll throw a fucking temper tantrum if she even thinks you said "what?" Sample conversation from across the house:
Her: "Hey, Klethra."
Me: "What do you need?"
Her: [silence]
I walk over to her room.
Me: "What do you need?"
Her: "Oh, I thought you just said 'what?' I hate that ugly word."
I don't give a flying fuck what you thought you heard. If you're going to act like a child to me, I'm going to treat you like a child. If you have to tell me why I should respect you, you haven't earned my respect. I know you turned 72, and I don't care that your family bends over backwards to kiss your ass. I do my job, and that does not involve kowtowing to you.
bigwillyb123 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:45:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just use to say "I responded at the same volume you did"
lars330 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:16:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They always claim they didn't shout though....
bigwillyb123 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:40:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Then neither did I."
Enigmagico ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:26:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Haha this reminds me of an occasion when I was in my room and my mom shouted "WHAT IS THIS?" to which I immediately answered "HOW CAN I KNOW, I'M NOT THERE TO SEE WHATEVER IT IS".
She seemingly materialized right in front of me and proceeded to smack me. And I deserved it, I know.
AsDuffJukelSemicolon ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:42:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like something here is autocorrected.
roryarthurwilliams ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:03:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, that was a dick move on her part tbh.
torchwood_cooper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:03:25 on August 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, mom is guilty of this. In fact, her doing this ("what is this?!" No idea, you're on the other side of a pretty dark room and my vision sucks, what does it look like? "WHAT IS THIS I DIDN'T PUT IT HERE?!" Still no clue, still can't see, please turn on a light so I can see or come closer?) is the cause of Christmas Tantrum 2014...
DarthVadersDad94 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:39:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There has to be a reason that this is so universal. Scientists plz investigate.
wiscoglow ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:47:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, my mom was the absolute queen of trying to tell you something while walking into the next room/up the stairs.
Strawberrycocoa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:45:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hollering across the house is just aggravating and lazy in general. I mean, a "Dinner's ready" is fine, but when it happens every time they want something, that shit just gets ooooold.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:29:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For me it always goes;
Mom: TRUSTMEIMNOTASTALKER!! TRUSTMEIMNOTASTALKER!!!
Me: What!?
Mom: Don't you "what" me, come downstairs!
Me: Coming!
Mom: Grab your brother's toy from my room! (upstairs)
Me: (internally) god dammit i was just upstairs why didn't you tell me then
throwaway10241988 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:44:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother used to play a sick fucking game with me until I just stopped doing "my part" of the sick joke. She would have me do an errand around the house and when I go back downstairs to play video games she would wait until I was at the bottom step or just past it to go "oh and one more thing". I told her a few times don't wait until I'm at the bottom and she continued as if she didn't know. (Also, why ever ask if I want tomatoes on anything? I'm 27 and have declined them at a 100% rate. Think it'll change? Sorry unrelated) One day I just told her "too bad" when she wanted me to do something but waited until I had walked sufficiently far enough away
roryarthurwilliams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised she didn't punish you for that.
throwaway10241988 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:23:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like to think she respected me standing up to her?
GoTheFuckToSlip ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:34:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Two years ago Mom was convinced that my headphones were damaging my hearing when in reality...
Mom: (Says something)
Me: (Puts screeching baby sibling down) What?
Mom: ALL RIGHT, WHERE ARE THE HEADPHONES?!
Edit: Italics. Whoops.
camelCasing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:37:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My favourite:
Mom: camelCasing!
cC: Yeah?
Dad: It was nothing.
cC: Alright.
(Five minutes later)
Mom: So are you just going to ignore me all day?
RuneLFox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:23:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unrelated, I really like how you kept the casing of your username in short form.
camelCasing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:29:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks haha. It just feels like a really important part of the name I guess.
fazelanvari ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a kid I learned that if my mom didn't answer when I said what, that means "come here." I've taught my kids this as well.
roryarthurwilliams ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:05:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or you could just ask them to come to you like a reasonable person would, instead of playing stupid games with expectations.
ScottFitzIV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Until I realized that was your username I thought you had a stroke half way through typing that.
grizzfan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or when they just come and yell at you for ignoring them when you never even heard them in the first place.
frossenkjerte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Must resist urge to set fire to EVERYTHING, and then ask her in your most cruel voice, whether the food is cooked now, with the the coldest smile you can manage, with the most amused glint in your eyes. She wants to be a fucking sociopath about it? Very well; I shall unleash all restraint on my psychopathy.
Omega357 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At the end of my time living with my mom we just started texting each other when we needed something.
serrompalot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or
Mom: [NAME]
Me: Before I can even take my headphones off...
Mom: [NAME!!!!!]
Jesus Christ mother can't you even wait a few seconds.
Amannelle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, my parents were a bit obsessive about not yelling in the house, so they had an intercom system set up around the house to use if we needed to get a hold of someone in another part of the house. Now I think they will text each other in the same house so they never yell.
I mean it definitely fostered a calm and safe household, but looking back it does seem a tiny bit excessive.
NickeKass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
After dad supposedly yells all the way across the house
Dad - "why didn't you answer me when Im talking to you!?"
Me - "I didn't hear you"
Dad - "WELL TELL ME YOU DIDN'T HEAR ME!!"
Dafuq.jpg. If I didn't hear you how do I know to tell you I couldn't hear you.
TheCaseyB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For this reason I just don't respond when people try to yell across the house to me. I'll quietly get up and walk to the room they are in to speak at normal volume because I'm not gonna sit and yell across the house for a normal conversation.
DPooly1996 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of my dad's famous:
Dad: DPOOLY1996!
Me: Yeah?
Dad: ...
Me: What!?
Dad: DON'T JUST SAY WHAT, COME IN HERE!
Throoweweiz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:25:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Dad's favourite was
Dad : THROOWEWEIZ COME HERE!!
Me : 'walks to Dad'
Dad : What would you be doing if I hadn't called you over.
He also used to wave his arm, gesturing me to come over. When I got there he'd say:
Dad: "I need to go to the doctors"
Me : "why Dad?"
Dad: "My arm wont stop doing this"
csonny2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"When I call your name, it means come here!"
BubbleGumLizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: BUBBLEGUMLIZARD, WE NEED TO DISCUSS THIS VERY IMPORTANT THING.
BGL: WHAT ABOUT IT?
Mom: DON'T YOU DARE SHOUT IN THIS HOUSE. IF YOU NEED TO TALK TO ME, GET YOUR BUTT UP AND COME HERE.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or when they think you're giving them an attitude when you're genuinely not and they keep fucking insisting you are so you actually start giving them an attitude because it's annoying. Ugh.
Aatch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum does something similar.
Me (trying to get her attention): Mum
Her:...
Me: Mum
Her:...
Me: Mum!
Her:...
Me: MUM!
Her: You don't have to shout.
Me: Yes. Yes I do...
ncurry18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom does shit like this. I've since moved out, but I occassionally go over to my mom and dads to have dinner/help with something/just hang out. I'll be in the same room as my mother but the second I leave she will say "come here." This is always directly after telling her I'm leaving. I get that she doesn't want me to leave, but damn if you want to talk about something, why not talk to me when I'm actually in the same room.
Zentopian ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:56:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my fucking god.
Just a few weeks ago, my mother had checked some food I had cooking for me, and she says, "Your food looks ready."
Having timed it, and literally being ten seconds from going to dish it up myself, I said, "I know."
She raises her voice a bit. "...Zentopian, your food's ready."
Didn't I speak loudly enough? So I raise my voice a bit. "I know. Hold on."
"...ZENTOPIAN, YOUR FOOD'S-"
"I KNOW!! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT?"
"Don't fucking yell at me! What the fuck's wrong with you?! What did I do wrong?!"
I wasn't even quiet when I spoke the first time. I 110% know she should have been able to hear me the second time, because I never talk that loud when that far away from her, and she hears me fine every other time.
I'd also like to point out that, when I was a kid, if I didn't get any kind of reaction out of her about something I said, I'd assumed she didn't hear me, and repeat myself. After the second or third repetition, she would lose her shit and yell at me as if I'd just committed some horrible act against her, and go on to cuss to herself about it for a good five minutes while I'm still in earshot. She deserved to get yelled at like that. A good taste of her own medicine.
Joald ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:59:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, I thought you were very poor and had to eat throwaways. Meanwhile it's just your username. Maybe use 'anon' next time, regardless of how 4chany it feels.
ZPrime ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:47:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One day my mother pissed me off, and she yelled for me to come to some other room the house so she could scream at me some more.
I just didn't bother going to her. Eventually she storms into my room and screams "DID YOU NOT HEAR ME CALLING YOU" in that angry sarcastic manner that she was honestly too proficient in.
13 year old me had a fucking lightbulb light up at that instant. I shouted back at her "I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING DOG, AND I WONT BE SUMMONED LIKE ONE! I'M A HUMAN BEING, AND IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME THEN YOU BETTER FUCKING COME TALK TO ME LIKE PERSON". She was so taken aback by the realization it looked like an invisible fist punched her in the face. A major shouting match ensued but she never once again tried to summon me by shouting my name.
That was the single best comeback I've ever had, it's not even that amazing, but honestly I'm not overly good with witty retorts. But fuck I wish I could give relationship changing comebacks on the regular.
DaddyRocka ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:12:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do this to my kids still. Don't respond with "what". Yes? Yes sir/ma'm?
peacebum ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:13:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me too, but from Team Mom. When I make a dinner, it is legitimately upsetting that "dinner is almost ready" seems to mean "oh, please start a menial task that takes just enough time for dinner to get cold". No, I'm telling you that it's ready even if it's just almost ready.
happysnappah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Team mom here. If I wait till dinner is ready, it sits there on the table getting cold while everyone takes their sweet ass time coming. So yeah, I yell "Dinner's ready!" when there's still a few minutes left so I don't sit there staring at the food for a while until everyone decides to make an appearance. I also usually give them a heads up like "Hey, it'll be ready soon so don't start something new." I mean, god forbid they're not entertained for every second I'm in the kitchen making them food.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:32:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I get angry when I make dinner and motherfuckers never show up and then it's cold and they bitch and complain. So come to the table when I fucking say, because dinner is ready when I say, even that means no food is on the table yet.
Also, wash your hands what the fuck is wrong with you.
jhoff96 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:04:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got hangry reading this
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well shit. Didn't even think about reading this from the kid's side. Ugh, I'm definitely a mom and now I feel old.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good on you for taking care of your kid. Kids naturally tend to be ungrateful because they can't empathize well.
newaccount1619 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:57:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 28, my mother is 67, and when I go to visit her and have dinner this still happens.
headbus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:57:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to think the same, but seriously - your parents make you dinner and we used to get angry because they call us down to eat it 5 minutes too early...
bubztwenty7 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:51:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Help your mother out once in a while instead of being in your room while she prepares and cooks everything. Then youll know when dinners ready because you'd have helped out.
Bet you're the type to run back upstairs as soon as you finish your plate as well.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:14:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be in my early teens. The great thing is that most people actually grow out of it.
GustavusAdolphin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:38:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try telling that to a middle school kid whose video games are in his room. Though by high school, I just kinda shifted to the tv by the kitchen, and that worked out
doyoueventdrift ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:45:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah? I got angry reading your comment. Why don't you go help prep dinner then.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:47:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm on a 17 kill streak. That's not the type of shit you just walk away from.
I_HATE_HAMBEASTS ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 20:49:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you want your modem unplugged? Because that's how you get your modem unplugged
craigbongos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got hungry just reading this.
GoldenKaiser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Made me throw my tendies too
offthewall_77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I ran away from home.
koleye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is what trigger warnings are meant for.
Jim_Nills_Mustache ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sudden flashbacks just came rushing through my head from when I played WoW in highschool and left a raid or something to come eat only for it not to be ready for another 20-30 mins. Shit was dank though, at least my mom was an incredible cook.
PowerfulComputers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, you'll feel less angry about it when you move out on your own and lose the free meals.
Hindu_Wardrobe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, it's only fair, kids pull that shit too. "time to go to bed" "five more minutes" uh huh...
ChristPuncher79 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So , let's get this straight:. You get meals made for you, presumably you're not helping to make it. Then you get pissed because you were torn away from a video game/YouTube vid about video game/masturbating in between video games, and DINNER IS STILL 5 MINS AWAY?!?
You had it rough, man. All the beatdowns I got pale in comparison.
keitarno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How's it like being 12?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sweet. Barely any homework and plenty of time to up my KD ratio on CoD.
GreatUncleChester ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mother took the time to make you dinner (which probably took more than 5 minutes) and she wanted you to be at the table 5 minutes before she served it, probably so she didn't have to wait for your ass and so everyone could eat it while it's hot... and this... made you angry?
siamthailand ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:18:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom's not your fucking servant, show some respect by at least being at the table early if you can't help her out.
I hated my siblings for this so fucking much, I actually fought with them. I'd always go and try to help my mom. Not that I was every helpful in any way, I just found it profoundly disrespectful to just sit and wait for food.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:31:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you
cmckone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:10:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
did she give you good BJs too?
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 16:03:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It means you should set the table and help your mom, asshole.
SinkTube ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:50:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll gladly come help if she asks me to come help. It's the deception that pisses me off.
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 16:56:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
SinkTube ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:02:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nice assumptions there. I never minded setting the table, it only took a minute and meant I could grab the plate with the cool design for myself.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 17:06:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
greeddit ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:39:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Upvoted cuz it made me feel bad ๐
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And when's the last time you visited or called?
I'm joking, but this post just reminded me that my mom's bday is coming up in a week. Shit.
IamRedRush ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:14:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I'd be angry too if I had someone to cook for me every night... Oh wait...
Fikkia ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:59:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just got angry at you getting angered by a cooked meal
Shovelbum26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ, kids on Reddit are spoiled. I wish someone would cook an entire meal for me and all I had to do was sit at the table 5 minutes early for it.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:16:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Shovelbum26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, saying that someone who complains about getting a cooked family meal and all they have to do is, literally, show up and that's too much is spoiled is the same thing as saying I'm perfect.
Seriously, this is the like the biggest first world problem I've ever heard. In a world where kids are abandoned by their parents, grow up in abject poverty, are working in sweatshops before they're a decade old, or just die of malnutrition, that the idea of showing up five minutes early for a fully cooked meal with a loving family is somehow a burden is quite honestly one of the most absurd things I've ever read in my entire life. No exaggeration.
But then again I work for a hunger relief non-profit, so this is something I probably spend more time thinking about than most.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:34:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No shit it's a first world problem. Kind of like how someone will get mad that their house is so big they can't connect to WiFi from the kitchen or something. Are they ACTUALLY mad they have a big house? No. You get mad for a second and realize you're complaining about something good. That's how my comment was supposed to be taken, but high and mighty people like you have to take everything literally. I'm sorry I wasn't more grateful as a kid. Are you happy now?
Shovelbum26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Happier I guess. Thanks!
Also, btw, I did not single out you specifically. I didn't mean it to be like a direct insult to you. More it was such a flippant, off-hand response (which I saw no implied irony in, but if you meant it to be there, okay I guess) with so many upvotes. It just made me think, man, there are thousands of kids out there that actually empathize with this statement? That's kind of sad.
Also it really just plays into the sterotypes about Redditers as spoiled, entitled young people, which I honestly always thought was a bit unfair, but that made me really kind of rethink that. So that jumped out at me.
Anyway, I saw in your post history that you just turned 18, so yeah, I kind of get it. I was pretty insufferable too at that age probably. Again, not that you're personally insufferable. You're probably not! I understand it was just an off-hand joke.
So basically, no harm intended, and I didn't mean for it to come off as personal, more a commentary on the demographics of Reddit than anything.
Now, you should go thank your mom and dad for all those meals. :-D
MaxOpower ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:17:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How dares she make dinner for you, and not be sufficiently on point about the timing. Kids are awful.
Anything but absolute gratefulness, when someone takes time to make a meal for you, is unacceptable.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:54:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Spoiled snotty knosed ungrateful little cunt
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol
Sorry your mama ain't love you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No she's does and I love her too much to complain about how she fed me.
Lizardizzle ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:02:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Living on my own now,I sometimes think how much nicer being a kid was, but threads like these remind me it wasn't always great. Kids deal with a lot of small annoyances that stack up. Compared to my days these days, I've either got work or free time.
kleep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahhahahahaha. Wait... what? You cannot be serious.
drawafade ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:19:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no your mom cooked you food you ungrateful bastard
wdr1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:02:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The struggle is real.
a-r-c ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:41:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
if kids weren't assholes adults would need to pull this shit
smartassnick ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:09:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well she coocked you ass fried chicken you better at least spend 5 minutes with her before getting back to your shinenigan games.
homequestion ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:22:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Must have been rough. Waiting 5 minutes for dinner. The horror....the horror!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:22:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Since you're waiting, set the table? Head explodes
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:57:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol it is what it is. Didn't know 6 words could piss some people off so much.
ConcentricSD ยท 605 points ยท Posted at 15:50:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Uh, dad here, and I'm guilty as fuck of doing that. Hey, if they want warm food they need to get their asses to the kitchen, and they usually stall. So I have them come in 5 mins early and make drinks and all
Edit: Except for last night. I made dinner and got everything ready like a freakin maid. Id rather that than my wife have to do it.
Voxxorian ยท 761 points ยท Posted at 15:59:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not saying this is true for you and your family, but I personally started stalling because I knew that it wasn't ready if I went to the kitchen immediately.
ConcentricSD ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 16:02:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right, and I totally get that. But mine are so busy playing with each other like a pack of wolves, that they don't even want to stop to eat half the time. So, instead of fussing, I start giving them notifications like 15 mins out. Then at the 5 min mark, they should already have their end of the bargain done.
BrownKnight62 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 16:28:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You see, the way around this is to make family dinner really late - my mum sometimes doesn't even start cooking until 7/8 in the evening so all of us are starving by the time its ready. No chance anyone will stall in this situation.
I should say that she doesn't necessarily do this on purpose, its just become a habit due to not wanting to do anything after dinner. But hey, it makes us love our food even more when we're starving
ConcentricSD ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:32:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No DOUBT. We ate late as kids too. Usually due to my dad having to consume at least 15 beers while he cooked. lol
So trust me, I know what you mean about the starving part. It's a mind game. As an adult, I hate late dinners. I'm cooking at like 5:15 to get it ready for 6-6:30.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:51:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ConcentricSD ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:08:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha nice. I asked him one time, how many beers have you had. He smiled, and said 22. It was like a random Tuesday night or some shit. But the man was up at 4:30 am every day. They don't make em like they used to for sure
fripletister ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 17:12:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure we still have high-functioning alcoholics in the 21st century.
ConcentricSD ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:14:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We do. He's one of them. lol
But it's like any other time a person reminisces about a family member. They're always wayyyy cooler after the fact. I found it annoying to have a drunk dad. But the shit he taught me about life is the only way I can make it as an adult. lol
CorpseZero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:02:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I could probably do that if I drank light domestics. A couple of good craft beers, and I'm all set.
ConcentricSD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:08:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This guy was drinking Budweiser. Aka Bud Heavy aka The Diesel. To this day I don't understand how he wasn't bloated AF. If I drink 3 beers of any kind I'm super full. That's why I love the bourbon.
dontbelikeyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Substitute "Dodgson" with "craft beer drinker" and you have how everyone in your life feels about your beer preference.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5USoEVtzjw
CorpseZero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You really want me to listen to an entire audiobook to get your joke? That is some next level dad joke shit right there.
widdle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How??? I can't even fathom drinking 22 waters let alone beers.
BrownKnight62 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:10:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm exactly the same - I still live at home as I'm only 18 but if I'm cooking for anyone, or just myself I will literally start as soon as I get home, sometimes to my mum's great distaste as I have to pull her away from whatever she was doing because she didn't expect dinner so early.
ConcentricSD ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:12:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It may be a taste thing, but late dinners are a fucking drag man. Eat and go to bed soon after? I don't think so. Glad you're cooking at 18. That's a cool thing to do that may become a lost art someday
BrownKnight62 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:22:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I agree on both fronts. I got into simple cooking just as a necessity as my parents wouldn't cook or anything if they were to go out in the evening. I also work in a bar doing late shifts starting at like 5/6 so I generally cook for myself as the family would eat later in the evening.
And besides, I got the hang of cooking simply by sitting in the kitchen when my mum cooked, if gel every so often and she would explain weird tricks about how to make stuff taste nice and why you do certain things to certain foods. There was also a tv to watch when the cooking wasn't entirely interesting, its not like anyone's in the kitchen just to cook, we hang out there during the day so it's just second nature to help out.
Hopefully I'll do the same with my kids, cooking is such a necessity I can't fathom how people get away with not learning simple dishes (pasta, beans on toast, anything from the freezer and chips) just to get by until they leave home. I've had friends who barely knew how to make a good toastie or sandwich because their mum always their cooked lunch.
ConcentricSD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:30:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See I wish my house was like that. A kitchen to spend time in besides eating. My grandmothers house was always packed full of people mainly at the kitchen. So that's a cool memory you just reminded me of.
My family now hangs out in the living room, but I do enjoy getting the kids involved in the cooking to pass that stuff down like your mum did. And especially if a person enjoys cooking, they can pass it along in a positive light as opposed to a chore.
fuckface94 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:34:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My family the kitchen is the main hang out
hennesseewilliams ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:34:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to like late dinners. Now I'm starving by 5:30 and if I don't eat by about 6:15, I am not very pleasant to be around. I can't imagine waiting until 8 or 8:30 to eat like I used to.
Viperbunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't work with really young kids. My kids are in bed by around 6:30/7 most nights. They get exhausted. If I wait they are hungry, but too tired to eat and if they fall asleep without eating they will wake up at 11pm, want to eat and then fight going back to sleep. Dinner has to be when they are still functioning.
RedditIsDumb4You ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:12:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why would they want to eat when it's associated with sitting around bor3d?
fathertime979 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I now just realised my brothers and i are the same "pack of wolves" thing.... either were wrestling until one of us gets hurt or playing with our wolf hybrid before dinner....
Hellluva realisation
ConcentricSD ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:34:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've used that reference to teach my kids a lesson when one of them wants special treatment. I tell them, myself and the other kids in my family were raised as a group. We NEVER got any preferential treatment, special consideration and had to share everything. That's the one thing about our upbringing that had the most impact imo.
fathertime979 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats a good way to parent and run a household. Ill keep that in the back of my head for when im starting a family.
ConcentricSD ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:07:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The world would be a better place if people didn't feel like everyone owed them something. Glad you agree.
fathertime979 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No one is owed anything but the air they breath and the body the inhabit. What comes to them in life is dependant on them
Horkpork ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:34:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
-Yup, getting cancer and being hit by that drunk driver was all on him! j/k, I know what you're sayin'.
fathertime979 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My jimmies were rustled for a second
ConcentricSD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I had the tact to use that as an example. I'm uneducated, but not dumb. I try sooo hard to find analogies that they'll understand and relate to, but a lot of mine are likely too simple for kids and their ways of thinking nowadays.
fathertime979 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey at least you have the mental ability to know your own shortcomings and reshape the way you spin your words to account for it. Many people have issues admitting their faults. For its easier to ignore than it is to face head on and deal with.
Props to you.
ConcentricSD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks. It's maybe my only redeeming quality. It's pretty simple though.... If mama ain't happy, nobodies happy.
fathertime979 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That one is always true.... ALWAYS
drunkenviking ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:27:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's a legitimate problem with me and my friends. If we're supposed to meet at 8, I know damn well they won't be there at 8. Unless they're saying 8 because they're planning for 7 and said 8 so I'm not waiting around. Or are they saying 8 because they know I'm not planning on showing up at 8 since I don't think they'll be ready so they're saying 8 so that I'm there at 830 when we'll all be ready.
It's so stressful.
cassiope ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:46:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Chicken...egg...chicken...egg
akatherder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"God forbid you talk to me about your day for 5 minutes while I slave over this hot stove!"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:57:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
Voxxorian ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:45:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did help if they asked, but most of the time they just said "oh hey, dinner's ready."
Rockapp2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This, and plus freshly made food is never -just right - it's always too hot. Might as well stall while it cools off instead of sitting at a table staring at the food im waiting to eat while it cools off.
mechanismatic ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:09:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Make my scotch a double, son!"
ConcentricSD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol. Tea and water usually. Every once in a while I'll drink a beer at dinner.
My wife and kids are used to seeing me drink a toddy or two. But I don't mix that with food. lol
orky56 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Easy drink to make but takes double the time of a single.
contrasupra ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:59:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm puzzled by the notion of expecting dinner the second you're called to the kitchen, anyway. As a kid I knew my job was setting the table, getting drinks, etc. Usually by the time I was done with that, we would eat.
ConcentricSD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is yet another thing that gets me with mine. I have said multiple times to the last straggler to come wandering up to the table. Exactly what you're saying. They can't just show up at the table and plop down and expect to be fed. They make drinks, get played and silver wear. And we rotate the cleanup duty among each of us per night.
Crusty_Crabs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hope my future kids turn out like you. I'm getting cold sweats thinking about dealing with a little shit who won't even help set the table after I've spent so much time making dinner.
contrasupra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:36 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well FWIW, I didn't decide it was my job just on my own, lol. You can look to my parents for that.
Crusty_Crabs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I know. But I don't want to be naive enough to think well if I'm a great parent my kids will automatically be great. Rowdiness and defiance is basically the norm for teens and you never know what kind of behavioural influence they'll be getting from school. Even if they grow out of it eventually and learn their manners the thought of dealing with those years makes me rethink having kids.
Vigilante17 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:21:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also Dad here. I make dinner 95% of the time as I get off work earlier and I'll be damned if nobody is at the table when it's served. I just spent 1-2 hours cooking and you're going to experience the meal as I intended in all it's deliciousness. Truth be told, my kids are always "starving" and waiting for hot food.
EightsOfClubs ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:54:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Primary cook in the house here... granted my kid is only 2... but I usually yell to my wife that dinner's ready, simply because I want help dishing it up. The food is ready. Sure, it isn't plated... I only have so many hands.
audigex ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:14:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The other way round teaches them better time planning, I think
If you dawdle that's your problem, you had a 5 minute warning.
ConcentricSD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're talking my language, but not sure.
For instance, last night I explained to my daughter who is 12, how I calculate when to start dinner based off of EST cook times, to get the desired eating time. With a busy family, sometimes we have a small window to try to eat because of so many activities.
Coastie071 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:17:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. A few weeks ago I prepared an impressive meal of brisket, salad, garlic mashed potatoes, and grilled asparagus. In- laws were in town helping out so I thought I'd make a nice meal.
Alright, food is ready, I call everyone for dinner. Nothing
Sides are scooped into serving dishes and placed on the table, I call for dinner. Nothing.
Brisket is sliced and plated, since you fuckers aren't here I take all the burnt ends. I call for dinner. Nothing.
I plate up everyone and make a special shake for the munchkin, why the hell not. I call for dinner, still nothing.
Fuck these guys, I eat. I've worked all day on this fucking meal. MIL comes in and calls me rude. I just about lost my shit.
ConcentricSD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:21:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the most discouraging possibility for a meal. If the kids get mad, I know what to tell them. But MIL? Oh no ya don't. If she called me to the carpet, I'd be screwed. So between the in laws and your SO, none of them realized that it was their fault? This story gave me instant anxiety. Haha
Coastie071 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I let my MIL pass as nothing good could come from a confrontation and they were there doing me and mine a huge solid anyways.
I did tell my wife later that I didn't appreciate her not backing me up, or offering at any point to help with this 4 course meal I was preparing for 5 people.
ConcentricSD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's where I'd have to draw a line too. Gotta split the lines by couples. Not sticking with ones parentd
GamingWithBilly ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:22:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The solution is to say "Dinner will always be ready and on the table between 6:00 to 6:45. If you are not here to get the food when its on the table, you can do without." As well, you should spend time trying to teach the kids how to cook. It's one of the biggest things children never learn before leaving home, and eventually they only eat fast food or microwave ready meals during college. Take some time to encourage kitchen food prep. It makes a very big difference, as well prepares them with a skillset that they will need when they start courting for their future love life.
ConcentricSD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wise comment
BigDaddyDelish ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:22:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was young and we still had dinner together, I would stall the shit out of my parents precisely because I knew dinner wouldn't be ready by the time I got down there.
I'd be happy to pause my game or bookmark my spot in a book if dinner was actually ready, but it wasn't so I would just wait until they screamed at me like 5x to get my ass downstairs and even then it wouldn't always be prepared to be put on a plate.
ConcentricSD ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:25:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For my wife, I can see that being the case. shes an amazing cook. But she usually skids to the finish line on two wheels with her hair on fire.
When I cook soymething that I've cooked before, I usually cook and clean and keep busy the whole way thru until dinner is served at about the time I was shooting for, and the kitchen is clean as well. Not bragging, it's just the only way I can prepare a meal. Can't have mess and trash and dishes piled up.
For instance, last night I told them 6:30. It was 6:21 or so and we sat down. So shooting for a certain time does help my cause. And I'm glad my kids see a man in the kitchen and hopefully they'll learn that it's not just a woman's responsibility.
MangoMambo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:52:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If they want warm food they should get there on time.
Tell them dinner is ready and start eating. If their food gets cold, it's on them.
Yellowed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:28:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You taught your kids to make cocktails? Now I want some kids.
ConcentricSD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No. But my 15 yr old has asked me on repeated occasions if I wanted him to make me a drink. I just drink bourbon on the rocks now. So there's nothing to make. But I enjoy making it too much anyways. My dogs jump up EVERY time I make one to beg for ice. lol
Myworstnitemare ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY. Mine can and has burned water. Not even trusted to make me a sammich anymore.
ConcentricSD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damnnnn. I knew I was lucky when she did her first MacGuyver in the kitchen and made something from nothing. But I haven't truly thought how it would suck if she couldn't cook.
29100610478021 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is this because she's a terrible cook or you're the best husband ever?
ConcentricSD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:32:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No she's an awesome cook. And I'm definitely not the best husband ever. I just try to make up for my shortcomings whenever I can. I have just never been a fan of someone doing stuff for me. Unless I come in 3 hrs later then the rest of the house, in that case she can have at it. lol
fuckface94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kids 9 and we tend to make his plate still but well tell him dinners almost ready while we prepare his plate
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I understand that for kids. But my parents still do that to me and my older brothers, when we get together, and I'm almost 30. Now we have turned the tables and intentionally stall for even longer.
ConcentricSD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never knew it was such a battle of wills. When I was a kid, my immediate family never ever sat down together. So I Dunno about the idea of being called to the table from a kids standpoint. But as a parent, we sit together every meal without fail
RedditIsDumb4You ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Makes your cooking taste like shit when it's seasoned with LIES
ConcentricSD ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:13:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey champ...Who said anything about cookies?
RedditIsDumb4You ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No one you illiterate swine.
ConcentricSD ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:22:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah? Ok so since you busted up in this like the koolaid man with your comment, why don't you break it down for my dense self...
Abcdety ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As an older brother I pulled that one too.
Darth-Pimpin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The only reason I ever stalled is because I knew that dinner wasn't ready. Self-perpetuating cycle, you've got.
PotatoMushroomSoup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is why i started waiting 3 hours after they call me and just going down and microwaving the food
BlackHeart89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol maybe I'm mean as hell. But I don't care if their food gets cold before they eat it because of their decisions. Life choices. Fortunately for them, we have a microwave.
ConcentricSD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hard to the core. I like it!
SinkTube ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're not mean, that's great. I wish my parents would have been ok with me being 5 minutes late and the food "getting cold" (protip: unless the dining room is a walk-in freezer, it'll still be warm).
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:37:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
is your wife shit at cooking or are you trying to be some sjw?
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:29:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
15 minutes later.
Kid: Where's the food?
Mom: I said in 5 MINUTES!!!!
amidoes ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:47:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
GOD FUCKING DAMNIT. I'm 21 and I still fall for this today
AdamtheClown ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:48:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom learned to tell us when food was actually ready, because my dad, brother and I would just not go out to the kitchen until food was already cold and she ate by herself because of it. Don't say foods done and say oh it'll be done in 10 minutes.
Mattxy8 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:50:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I stopped going to the table until I was at a place I could stop in game. I think "you can't pause online games" was the most said phrase of my youth.
infinitezero8 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:37:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dinners ready!"
"Alright, I'm here and so is dad, where is the food?"
"it'll be ready in 5 minutes, please set the table"
"I fucking knew it!"
Dad: "you heard your mother"
"Yeah, but she said both of us"
Dad: "don't argue with me"
"God dammit"
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:02:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
dis_is_my_account ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:56:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck off with that bullshit. This isn't something where you over analyze every single comment made.
RetrogradeDiarrhea ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:27:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What a horrible kid, having his own commitments that are worth more to him than sitting there doing nothing.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
RetrogradeDiarrhea ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:48:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's also nothing stopping you from speaking directly to your kids instead of lying to them. But fuck me for expecting parents to at least attempt to foster some mutual respect.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
RetrogradeDiarrhea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you really using the "They did it so it's okay for me to do it" line? You're supposed to be the role model! God damn do I feel sorry for anyone with misfortune to be your kid.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:17:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
RetrogradeDiarrhea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:57:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Spoken like someone that has never had to raise kids of their own. I'm glad that you have so much respect for your mother, but you need to pull off the fucking blinders if you ever want to take care of kids of your own.
Your mom screwed up. She did some things wrong. Multiple times. If you think she never did, you're being willfully ignorant. She's human, not some perfect infallible angel. I guarantee you know how she screwed up too, which is why you're getting your panties in such a bunch over this.
If you can't respect your mom while realizing that her lying to you for petty bullshit is wrong, you don't respect her. You just worship some made-up narcissistic idol named "Mom" like an angry toddler. You worship her because she didn't let you starve to death as though that's some saintly miracle and not the least fucking thing she could do for you. If that's the reason you think your mom deserves respect, I feel sorry for you because you were denied actual love and care that went beyond the bare minimum legal duty.
whatainttaken ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:37:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, how fucking terrible that someone has to pause a video game and not be entertained for 5 minutes while another human being cooks food and serves it to them. Is it annoying? Yes. You know what else is annoying? Everything that comes with taking care of a child/ teen.
Nega_Sc0tt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:21:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for buying and heating up all those frozen pizzas, mom. You're a real hero.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:55:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
SinkTube ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:32:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother said I wasn't allowed to make my own food because she already made dinner, so that's useless advice.
gamingmath ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:03:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't bother. People like him are so insecure in their feelings about their mom they go fucking insane when anyone dares suggest something their mom did was anything less than award-winning.
FirstRyder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean... if that was the intention, sure. My mom was just terrible at estimating how long it would take to finish dinner. By, like, 50-100%. If she said dinner would be ready in half an hour, it would be 45 minutes to an hour. Every single time.
I mean, her cooking was worth the wait, but there's only so long you can sit around after setting the table before you have to admit that maybe you should have waited a little longer before calling us. Five minutes is one thing, an hour is something else entirely, and it's not an exaggeration to say that she was off by an hour sometimes.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:38:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had the opposite experience. "I'll have dinner ready when you get here." I show up. She hasn't even started. I'm an adult now and my mom still does this to me for when I go to visit. Dinner was NEVER ready for when I got home. For my Dad though, dinner was always ready for when he wanted it.
CRISPR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother is 80 and my kid is grown up man, yet that is exactly the conversation I am having every morning.
Leprechorn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:05:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: "dinner's on the table already"
Me: "but I'm sitting at the--"
Mom: "set the table, you lazy bum"
theantinaan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:36:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I used to come home at dinnertime, my mom would say "Stay downstairs." I would stay down for 15 minutes before dinner is actually ready
cuibksrub3 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:35:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is pretty fucking stupid and it really annoys me actually. Your mum calls you down 5 minutes early, so fucking what? Ask if she needs help, lay the table, get shit ready, make a drink etc. In my opinion it's so fucking rude to come downstairs for 5 minutes, eat what your mum has been cooking for the past hour and then fuck off back to your room. Even worse if you grab it off the side and take it with you.
SinkTube ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:53:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If she wants help, she can just say so. If she starts by lying to me, that's not going to make me eager to help her.
Roupert ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:24:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever made a meal for family? Timing a meal isn't easy. Anybody can cook a meal, but getting it all ready at the same time so that things stay hot is hard. I've been cooking meals every night for my family for 3 years and it's still hard to not have cold food at the table.
CIearMind ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:09:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No it is not. But yelling at your children doesn't make it any easier, for either of you.
Heablz ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 18:39:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck you sound like a spoiled prick. Help your parents without asking. They sacrifice a lot of shit for you.
SinkTube ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:30:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How spoiled of me, not wanting to be lied to.
Heablz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:14:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lied to? Another human being is literally supporting you. Calling you down 5 minutes early to make sure you aren't fucking around in your room hardly seems like "lying"
I understand the joke of this whole post, but come the fuck on. So ungrateful.
SinkTube ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you own a dictionary? It's literally lying. Look it up.
Heablz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unreal haha
SinkTube ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tell me, how is saying dinner's ready when it's not, in order to get you to falsely think it's ready, anything but a lie?
EndOfNight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, sure as hell beats cooking your own crap and then spend 10 min trying to find something good on youtube while everything is getting cold. I miss John Stewart. :(
xia976 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:05:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wish my mum would have let me cook all the time, so much quicker and less dishes. It seemed like the more I washed up the more things she would use. Oh and none of that idling pointlessly for 5 minutes business.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you know what thread you're in?
Mescallan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:21:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So set the table for me.
-Gaunter-O-Dimm- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But a lot of people don't eat at the table...
Mescallan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:57:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And a lot of people do.
-Gaunter-O-Dimm- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Out of all my group of friends only 3 people eat at the table.
Mescallan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Out of all the families with young kids I know, a vast majority of them eat at the table together. And I was really commenting on the "Dinner is ready, you come to the table, mom says: it will actually be about 5 minutes, will you set the table for me." Which was and still is a regular occurrence when I am eating at my parents houses.
-Gaunter-O-Dimm- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How young? If they are under 9 then it may as well not have been mentioned.
Mescallan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:17:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you joking? This is a thread about lies told by mothers. How are children being lied to not relevant?
-Gaunter-O-Dimm- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never said it wasn't relevant, if you actually used your eyes and read my responses you would know if said most children eat their food in their rooms, not at the table. Retard.
Mescallan ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If "may as well not have been mentioned" doesn't mean relevant what does it mean?
Calling people names doesn't do anything for your argument other than make you look desperate and wrong.
-Gaunter-O-Dimm- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:13:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now you're just saying random things, we aren't talking about mothers lying to their kids, we are talking about how most people don't sit at the table, people under the age of 9 usually do so there is no reason to include them. Do you understand it now you moron?
I don't care if calling you a retard or a moron (which you are) makes me look desperate and wrong, because I'm not, and I'm right.
Mescallan ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is about mothers lying to their children. I said mothers lying to kids to get them to set the table before dinner happens, you said it doesn't because kids under 9 don't count.
Please explain to me how this conversation went from your perspective, because it seems to be changing with every post to me.
-Gaunter-O-Dimm- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're putting words in my mouth now you utter moron, learn to fucking read.
I said that children usually don't sit at the table, not counting the ones under the age of 9. It's not hard to understand.
Mescallan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:21:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
-Gaunter-O-Dimm- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, nice try but you fail to understand context.
BlLE ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:54:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why is that dude arguing about this?
Mescallan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No idea, I'm egging him on at this point.
BlLE ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:48:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's just weird. Like, what prompted him to start arguing that? Haha
"So my girlfriend went to Starbucks with her girl friends and while they were getting their coffee--" "uhhhhhhhh... Not everyone gets coffee at Starbucks. I know like only three people who get coffee at Starbucks. Most people get Frappuccinos."
fadasd1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:51:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god stuff like this made me quit going to the dinner table.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Triggered*
This happened basically every night when I was a little kid.
servimes ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:21:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Either you are still a little kid or you really are ungrateful.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:05:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was a joke, jeeze. It just was common occurance for us to be called down for dinner "right now", but "dinner's ready in 10 minutes" when we get downstairs. I'm just asking for some consistency.
The_Fad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a dad, Mom's do that because ya'll motherfuckers never listen to first time and even when you do it takes 10,000 years usually for you to actually crawl your way to the kitchen and/or dining room.
Kids don't listen. Easily the most stressful part of parenting for me.
Smithburg01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:11:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, kids probably don't listen because it's never actually dinner time >.>
The_Fad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No no no. The kids didn't listen BEFORE we made the change to saying it before. The kids not listening was the catalyst, not the other way around.
makingsta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
so it's something universal
opalorchid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do this to my boyfriend lol
But that's because I'll tell him when I have dinner on the table and he'll come out 1/2 hour later and bitch that it's cold. Then I started telling him right before I put it all on plates so that it's fresh and warm still when he gets to the table. Of course those are the times he actually gets to the table when I ask him to
sugarandmermaids ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every night at my house.
incognito_mama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My husband does this to me all the time. So aggravating.
fistisalsoanadverb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I visited my parents last night and was playing ps4 with my brother and this happened. I was like not this again.
Ubername_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'M TRIGGERED BY THIS!!!
skylarmt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a workshop in a barn where I often go to hack stuff. This still happens with my family. I'll get a text "dinner's ready", I drop what I'm doing, come home, and wait half an hour.
RedditIsDumb4You ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hunger strike
henn64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Dad calls and says 5 minutes, then proceeds to call me four minutes later.
actively_lazy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait...moms are suppose to cook?
theaxis12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: It will be ready in five minutes.Mom: Set the table.
tekhnomancer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Two minutes, Turkish!
Pixelated_Penguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, well.
We have gotten into the habit of telling our kids about five minutes before food is ready (at which point we can start plating and stuff) that it's time to extricate themselves from whatever entertainment they are in. For one, they have dinner-time jobs (the big one gets water for everyone; the little one gets utensils); but for another, otherwise, we will all be AT THE TABLE and hearing "The game is aaaaaalmost over..."
SinkTube ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:36:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you say "come get ready for dinner" instead of "dinner's ready", that's fine.
Rokursoxtv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: "by the way, would you set the table?"
gogomom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just enough time for you to set the table, get out the butter - or otherwise, you know - help?
LJawesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Could you set out some dishes please?"
Every. Damn. Time.
pm-me-ur-shlong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: Dinner's ready! Come up now!
Kid: OK, I am playing a game and need 5 minutes!
Mom: OK hurry!
1 minute later
Mom: Get up here now! Dinner is ready!
TheBestOtaku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kid: Ah fuck, I can't believe you've done this.
drwritersbloc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit I come from a South asian family so I thought I was the only one. Hell even when I calm home as I step onto the bus which takes me 15 mins to get home- the food still is not ready when I enter the home.
SaturdayBaconThief ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guilty of this, but I actually do it on purpose. I find it incredibly rude that I should be required to make dinner, set the table, pour drinks, dish out plates, feed the baby while I eat, then have to clean up after. So now I call everyone early and then ask them to help. It's a lot less stressful for me.
Kaylakat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do this to my husband. It must be very aggravating for him.
MpDarkGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Parents hate when you just show up to eat and leave for your pc shortly after, they just want those 5 minutes to spend some time together
spazzdla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am 30.. this is still annoying.. haven't lived at home for 10 years lol.
Commander_Keef ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am 21 living with my mom, we have this exact exchange nightly!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just felt some sort of primal urge to murder both my parents. Strange...
octopushug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do kids no longer have to set the dinner table or help prepare the meal? My mom would have had a fit if we asked her where dinner was and we didn't help out.
snuff3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair to us parents, that "ready" has a calculated 5 min wait time built into because we expect 5 mins of backchat and argument.
But yes. "You will sit on your ass and patiently wait while i dish up" is how it works in our house lol.
koobear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then ...
Kid: Then why did you have me come 5 minutes early?
Mom: Because you're always 5 minutes late!
Kid: asdfal;sdjfklagdhdaldfjalk;dsfja
AdvocateForTulkas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was usually more like 10-20 minutes. I'm an adult now, I still don't understand it. I assumed my mother was insane, what am I missing?
MusicalCereal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel thankful, my mom never did that to me
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The worst is when they say it's ready, but it's fresh from the oven and still at about 1000 degrees kelvin and I have to wait 10 minutes for it to cool
Specktagon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same with going outside...
Kid: Please just 5 more minutes!
Mom: We are going RIGHT now!
Kid: Okay, let's go then...
Mom is still talking with others at the table "Oh no, five more minutes..."
Emerald_and_Bronze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Set the table while you wait."
It's a traaaaaapppp!
ChriosM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife does this to me now. I started waiting 3 minutes or so to get off my computer and she's just putting it on plates when I do come out. One time not that long ago I was starving when she shouted it was ready so I got up straight away to go get it and then had to stand there with the dogs, watching her finish making dinner. I asked why she always says it's ready before it is and she said it's because I don't come out right away when she calls. But I started waiting to come out because it wasn't ready in the first place!
smala017 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can attest this is 100% accurate.
RackSystem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can now relate to parents doing this. I do it to my fiancee. She takes forever to come to the table and I gave a lot of effort to make sure everything finished cooking at the same time so that it's all hot and fresh. You can wait 2 minutes every once in a while. I just spent 45 cooking.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe parents like it when kids help set up the table.
2D_n_2Deep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kid: I thought you said it was ready..
Mom: YOU COULD HAVE PREPARED IT YOURSELF IF YOU WANT IT DONE EARLIER!
birchtree02 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Happened to me
ActualButt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Being in the position of having to call someone down for dinner every night, I actually always tell them five minutes when it's actually ten, because my father in law is blind and doesn't realize how long he takes to do stuff.
ThirdRook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
While you're here, can you set the table? Hurry up dinner's ready.
blickblocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get this. Didn't you guys all help to make dinner with your parents too?
bl0bfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: TURN OFF YOUR N64!!
Kid: Its a PS4....
ShaggysGTI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You said two minutes, five minutes ago...
j0y0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She just wanted to finish dinner without chasing you around the house stopping you from breaking shit or messing with your siblings while the casserole burns. Give your mom a break man, she's your mom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SONOFABITCH
bl1y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Brother: Dinner's ready.
Me: Capital! goes to kitchen, no dinner. Brother has said dinner is ready.
Mom: It's not.
Brother has taken the game I was playing, the cad!
Next day...
Brother: Dinner is ready.
Me: I'm not falling for that rouse again, scoundrel.
Time passes.
Mom: BROTHER TOLD YOU DINNER WAS READY YOU SHIT!
Me: I ignored him because he is an unreliable messenger, and informed you of this not but four and twenty hours ago.
Mom: NO FUCKS GIVEN!
Such an odd childhood.
Babokaas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
After 10 seconds she screams the food is getting cold. I run downstairs and it isn't even ready yet.
echisholm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always knew because the smoke detector would go off
creamersrealm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is my life.
YishlahMalako ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom still does it, when I visit her these days. One thing I learnet is I'd say: "I'm coming!" - and then wait for 5mins. Next time she will call when it's actually ready.
G3RTY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck yes
Im tired of being the first one at dinner. My virtuousness is rewarded with wasted time for being naive . Fuck that
MattieWasTaken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: PAUSE YOUR GAME
Kid: MOM I CAN'T PAUSE IT, IT'S ONLINE
Mom: I DON'T CARE PAUSE YOUR DAMNED GAME
Treas0n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
MOM MEATLOAF! what is she doing back there?
evanoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In mom's defense, there's nothing more infuriating as a chef than fresh food getting cold
rjop377 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because heaven fucking forbid that you, a free loading child, not come down with dinner perfectly on the fucking table, no thanks to you or anything you did.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now set the table.
scw55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Throw in trying to raid in World of Warcraft.
Beastachu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my first thought: https://youtu.be/RU2zlSfkdE8?t=1m
Preebos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who does the cooking, there's a reason for this. If you wait until dinner is on the table to call others in, by the time they arrive the food will be getting cold. I'd rather have everyone already present when the food finishes cooking so that it can be enjoyed in its freshest state.
mrunfunnyman121 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
By the way I'm your 6000th up voter so I deserve orange arrows pointing upwards
Lord_Skittlesworth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously? Do people do this? That doesn't make any sense.
2manymans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate this so much
ImGumbyDamnIt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's how i missed the last five minutes of every Star Trek episode.
X_Spyre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:53 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is so fucking accurate
ddlo92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The first time i complained about this my dad said "when we call you down for dinner, we want you to help serve. Don't just expect it to be already on the table for you."
theycallmecrabclaws ยท 942 points ยท Posted at 15:53:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not a mom, but I had to start lying to my partner about dinner being ready. When I say "dinner's ready" he takes that time to go get a glass of iced tea, clean up stuff around the kitchen or dining room, take a shit, whatever. I used to "dinner's ready" him when dinner was ready, and then I'd be sitting there waiting for him while it got cold. Now I give a buffer, no shame.
theredstarburst ยท 152 points ยท Posted at 18:55:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It makes me irrationally angry when people don't sit down to dinner when I tell them dinner is ready.
Managing the cook time of everything so that it all comes out hot and ready at the same time is really fucking hard. So when you manage to do that and then you plate everything and it's ready to go, it feels like a gut punch when people take like 5-10 minutes to get their ass to the table. Realistically, I understand that it doesn't make a huge difference. Especially to someone like my husband who doesn't particularly care if something isn't as hot or crispy as when it's first served. He doesn't mind even a little bit, so I know in my head that I shouldn't care that much either. But fuuuuuck, I start to internally rage when the minutes are passing by and the food is just sitting there.
mackrenner ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 19:18:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I make breakfast for my girlfriend often and she will be doing something for FIVE MINUTES while the eggs I made for her get cold. Cold eggs make my stomach turn but she couldn't care less. Oh my god. Maddening. I made sure your toast and bacon and eggs all are hot and buttered and plated together and salt and cholula and silverware is on the table all you have to do is get your coffee oh my god our love languages are so not compatible right now
loljetfuel ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 20:00:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know this will come off as sarcastic, but that's not the intent, I promise. When people do this with their partners (and I do too; I think pretty much everyone does), you're basically saying:
It's amazing how much you can change the conversation when you're willing to realize that. "Hey, I know you don't care that your eggs and stuff get cold. It's really important to me that I eat hot food, and it's really important to me that we eat together. I know you don't mean to, but it makes me feel lonely when you don't want to join me right away." <- it goes a long way.
mackrenner ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 20:14:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know, isn't it incredible! She and I have this awesome, open, honest relationship where we talk about stuff like that all the time. That was not how I was raised and so when we first started dating I literally would think to myself, "How would cheesy relationship advice columns say to phrase this" and over time it got so much more natural. We've had this conversation once or twice, casually, about how its this thing I put effort into and it hurts because her saying she appreciates the gesture doesn't feel the same as what I would perceive to be actually appreciating the gesture, ie, eating the hot food. She has gotten better about eating right away, and I usually ask her "will you be ready to eat in 3 minutes?" And if not I don't start the eggs yet. And having clarity about what I'm feeling helps me move on when me mess those things up and her food ends up sitting.
God damn, we have an awe some fucking relationship. The way we talk and communicate together is just like... I honestly didn't know that was a thing. It's so amazing. I don't think we're gonna get married (right person, wrong time) but god DAMN are we each gonna have hight standards for future partners at relatively young ages.
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 21:07:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mackrenner ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:26:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's definitely making me nervous, and something that has come up before. I'm very young and never really had any time truly out on my own in the world, whereas she's at least had a few years to herself. I don't think I'd be satisfied marrying her without having some time to move away and work on my own goals. And we're still early enough in the relationship where we're still seeing if our forms of crazy are compatible or just unhealthy, and if each of our relationship needs are compatible. But god damn, is it scary to think of letting go of such a good, kind, person I respect and get along so well with. It's definitely come up several times that maybe we'll spit for a while then hook back up in a few years, which I've seen work out with some people but is not really something you can plan on.
MyPacman ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:24:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Work on your own goals now. You don't have to be alone to do that.
mackrenner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not being in a committed relationship is hardly the same as being alone.
MyPacman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:26:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't do something as part of a committed relationship, its highly likely you will find some other excuse when that is no longer an issue.
matt_minderbinder ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:00:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
More often than not that whole "let me live free for awhile then hook back up" thing doesn't work out. I wouldn't advise you one way or another whether you should stick with it cause I don't believe in having only one "true" love. The world's big with alot of people in it but when you find those people who mesh with you (rare for me) don't treat it lightly whatever path you decide to take.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:53 on August 18, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mackrenner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:30:20 on August 18, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I apprecise your reply, thank you for your perspective. Yeah, it's definitely concerning that I could be throwing away an amazing relationship, but I just don't think she's the love of my life, fortunately/ unfortunately. I'm hoping to enjoy this relationship while we're in it and take those skills and standards to the next stage.
sendtojapan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:18:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seconded.
glideguitar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
young guy. thirded.
FireEagleSix ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:31:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I like this, being open with your partner about your intentions. Such as when certain things mean so much to you, and your partner doesn't understand. My husband and I have had this conversation about a few of these kinds of things; both of us have had things that are important to one of us whilst the other didn't understand until we talked it over.
Even if it's something that matters little to me, I'll go out of my way to do something a certain way or whatever it is simply because it's something that matters to him. It's just another way to show him that I love him and that his opinions and beliefs are important to me, if not for any other reason than that they are his. Soon, these kinds of things become important to both of us, and sometimes turn into little family traditions.
He, of course, does the same for me.
Edited words.
loljetfuel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:34:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This symmetry is important too, thanks for highlighting it. If one person is good at making reasonable behavior changes to accommodate the other, but it doesn't go in reverse, it can easily breed bitterness.
Herry_Up ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend doesn't understand that idc where I eat, the couch, standing up at the counter, in the car so long as I eat. He was raised to always sit at the dinner table and we're both trying to figure this out. It's been a pain lol
loljetfuel ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:51:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's those little things that are actually the hardest in relationships, because they represent different values. The best advice I ever got was to find these things, and sit down and figure out why it matters to you. And once you do, figure out why it matters to your partner.
If you really don't care, but your partner does, then it's an opportunity to do something for your partner. If you really care but your partner doesn't, it's their opportunity to do something for you. If you both really care, and you both take time to understand why you each care so much and why the other does, you can often find a solution.
For example, maybe your boyfriend really thinks it's important because eating dinner at the table together is a sign that people find the relationships important, and if you don't want to do that it makes him feel judged. (Just an example, I obviously don't know him). He may not even be aware of that--most of us aren't aware of why we value things until we are willing to sit down and figure it out.
TheyCallMeStone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you dating my girlfriend?
Graerth ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:23:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Think positive.
They could always be one of the people who asks for ketchup with everything (No, you don't need fucking ketchup with my curry chicken!)
wowjerrysuchtroll ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:10:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ketchup is a fucking abomination on anything but fries, burgers, and hotdogs.
matt_minderbinder ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd refuse to cook for someone who wanted to cover every single thing in ketchup or ranch dressing. Because I love to cook and am adventurous about eating I refuse to date girls with alot of food hangups. It truly is limiting your restaurant and home food options.
wowjerrysuchtroll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:37:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Respect. Being a picky eater as an adult is just silly.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:40:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you put the plates in the oven ahead of time, then the food stays hot for longer since it's on a hot plate. Extra work though.
HobbitFoot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:18:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See, I would rather the food cool off.
theredstarburst ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:54:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, like I said, I know my husband doesn't care. Which is why I try my best not to say anything or make it a big deal. But just looking at the plate just sitting there just makes me angry. I can't stop feeling angry, even though logically I understand that everything is fine, no one is dying, it's just a plate sitting there. But it really is a huge pet peeve of mine. Husband knows this and does his best to acknowledge that.
eek04 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:56:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife (A) finds it horrible to wait at the table, so she gets angry if I call her before the food is on the table, and (B) takes a while to come when I tell her the food is on the table. I feel your pain.
send_me_sweater_meat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:23:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funnily enough it makes me irrationally angry when people get angry over this without giving a 5 minute warning or saying dinners going to be at this time.
theredstarburst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about other people, but I do give a "heads up, dinner is almost ready!" Because once everything is ready, there's still a couple minutes to plate the food. Once the food is plated and brought out to the table, I feel like it's only respectful to the person having done the cooking not to spend more time tinkering on the phone or watching TV. When I make food for my husband and I know he's working or on the phone with his mom or something, then I just leave his plate covered for him and he gets to it when he gets to it and it's not a big deal at all. It's only when I'm at the dinner table with the food all ready to go and he's still playing video games or browsing on reddit for an extra 10 minutes, it's definitely annoying. Like c'mon, that can't be that important that you're gonna make me sit here with the food I spent an hour cooking getting cold.
send_me_sweater_meat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You and I would get along just fine then
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Half of the things my mom makes, I have to excuse myself from the table for a while because it's too hot. "Mom, that looks delicious! Thank you! I'll eat it in a little bit."
matt_minderbinder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a 42 year old man and my only son is 18 now but I still do the same thing to adults. Cooking is both a hobby and a necessity to me so I truly put alot of work and love into cooking amazing dinners quite often. Hell, it's a Tuesday night and I shopped and came home to pound chicken and make a beautiful piccata with veggies from my garden. Nothing irks me more having made a beautiful dinner and people are lazy about showing up for it the moment I'm ready to allow them to dig in. Maybe i'm a touch anal about it but I know I'd respect someone else if they put that amount of work in all the damn time so family could eat well above average healthy and well prepared meals.
FireEagleSix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course it makes you angry! You put in that extra effort to make sure it's hot and crispy and extra-yummy, and he's told you he literally doesn't care if it's the right temp or crispiness. I'd be tempted to skimp on things if that were the case with my husband and I, but I love making great food for the people I love, and I bet you do, too!
Yeah, I'd be mad, too.
GameRender ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 20:59:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Trying to get everything to come out hot and ready at the same time is basic math.
TonySoprano420 ยท 164 points ยท Posted at 16:42:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just start eating instead. If he wants it cold that's his problem.
Bazoun ยท 105 points ยท Posted at 18:23:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to do this with my ex. It was infuriating. He'd watch me cook. I'd tell him everything is almost ready. No movement. Less than 5 minutes. No movement. Turn off stove. No movement. Plate food. No movement. Bring food to table. Well! Off to the bathroom for 20 minutes.
I was raised that you don't eat until everyone is seated. It took years but finally I told him if he wanted to eat cold food that was his problem.
Once I refused to let my food get cold? Suddenly he managed to get to the table on time.
Dick.
tits_on_bread ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 19:57:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
UGH! The bathroom! My bf does this everytime we leave the house. I tell him when we're leaving, give him notices, get my shoes on waiting by the door, leaving the exact right amount of time to get there... "oh, I just need to go to the bathroom".
FUUUUCK! You knew... you knew this whole time and NOW, when we're putting our shoes on is when you decide to take a shit. Fuck, it drives me absolutely insane.
Bazoun ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:19:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now that I'm out of this relationship, and I think back to how often he made things needlessly difficult, I think I'd have zero patience if I was exposed to this again. My gut reaction to your post is to leave without him. Let him wonder what the fuck happened when he gets out of the bathroom and to be upset etc. I feel like if I had stopped his shenanigans early on, our relationship would have either ended before marriage or we could have made it. There were just so many childish things that tore us apart as a couple.
I get that you likely want to be in this relationship and I'm not saying the above is the healthy, adult way of dealing with these behaviours. Au contraire. What I WILL say is that whatever the fuck he's doing now will only get worse as time goes on. If he's pulling this shit now, either put a stop to it or learn to love it because people rarely change for the better within a relationship.
If this is his only tic and you're willing to live with it, it could be far worse and I wish you nothing but happiness.
tits_on_bread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Great advice. Probably not for me as we're 3 years in and he's otherwise pretty great... and I know there's things I do that likely irritate him. Communication is always an area that can be improved, so this is a great reminder.
That being said, it's a public forum and I'm sure there's someone out there who needed to hear this :)
anticlimacticless ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:11:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
DECIDE to take a shit? What is this thing you speak of? My rectum wants to know.
tits_on_bread ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:14:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He shits before leaving because he doesn't want to do it when we're out. It's forced, therefore it should be forced more than 1 second before we need to walk out the door.
AZBA11in ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Too MUCH force and you have an even bigger problem on your hands.
Kiya-Elle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:52:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
With my husband it is checking the tyre air pressure/oil and water levels.
He will tell me what time we need to leave to get somewhere - I will be ready on time then he will spend 5 or ten minutes doing stuff with the car before we can leave.
_Liaison_ ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 18:52:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That would piss me off to no end. Good thing he's an ex.
Bazoun ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 20:16:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I didn't realize how many little passive aggressive things he did until after I ended our marriage. I'm still working thru just doing things I want. It always seemed that the things I liked were on a no-go list.
_Liaison_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:42:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel you. I've gotten a lot better about relationships by setting firm boundaries and expectations. I have been in abusive relationships where they would threaten to kill themselves if I left. Now any threats or gas-lighting, and I'm out of there.
Bazoun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There have to be early detection red flags that others see that we don't. I would love to be able to know early on if it's just that I've developed some trust issues or no, he's really going to mess up my life.
theycallmecrabclaws ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 16:48:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do sometimes if it's something like a poached egg that is going to rapidly deteriorate, but generally I like to use dinner time to talk about our days with each other. It's weird if I'm finished and just watching him eat.
Wiki_pedo ยท 114 points ยท Posted at 17:01:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can use that time while he's eating to go get a glass of iced tea, clean up stuff around the kitchen or dining room, take a shit, whatever.
bless_ure_harte ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:36:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reverse pyche his ass
TonySoprano420 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:16:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. You're supposed to chew with your mouth closed anyway.
kalabash ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:39:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best answer by far
FireEagleSix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Touchรฉ.
Horkpork ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:12:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just use that opportunity to completely dominate the conversation. Then when he tries to get a word in just say, "please don't speak with your mouth full." Had a dentist do this to me one time. She'd go on and on about some controversial topic and be like, "don'tcha think?" And I'd try so say, "Well-" and then bbbbreeeeerrroooorrrrrr...
mines_rd ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:32:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a feeling that meal time at your place is fascinating.
Horkpork ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:06:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with this unless OP gives no previous warnings. I think you gotta give a 10 or 15 minute heads up and then the, "dinner's ready."
Jbota ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 17:34:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just tell my wife "5 minute warning" which then kicks off the getting the baby situated, getting a drink, getting the dog food, etc. While I'm plating up and setting the table.
theycallmecrabclaws ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 17:40:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do that too but it's like he just subconsciously adds five minutes onto whatever I say. So if I say it's ready when I need five more minutes, it's all good.
It's weird because he's not really like this with other stuff, he doesn't have ADHD or anything, he's capable of being timely. Except for dinner.
californiadreaming12 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:04:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a bullshit power play, my dad uses it all the time, and my brothers, sadly, learned it from him. They just want you to wait for them to emphasize how important they are.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:03:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Uuuh. I think you're assuming an awful lot because of your own ass-hat family members.
loljetfuel ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:05:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or a difference in how people were raised; I had a mom who would tell me "5 minutes" and "dinner time" and then expect the whole family to sit there for 10 minutes more because she wasn't actually done.
The first time I moved in with a partner, he liked doing the cooking, but I would totally hear "dinner time" as "10-15 minutes" and start getting ready then. I didn't even realize it until he pointed it out to me, and it took a lot to unlearn.
I'm sure some people do it to feel important, but it's not a good plan to assume people's reasons for things.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:40:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, but I do so angrily.
Cylon_Toast ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:24:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd just start eating. Our "politeness" rule is that if half the table is seated and served then you can start eating.
AnneBancroftsGhost ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:23:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this when I had to get picked up post-after-school-activities. My mom was always half an hour late so I would give her times half an hour early. I'm actually surprised at how well it worked.
Andyliciouss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:24 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did this too but if I ever estimated the times too early then my mom would get pissed because I made her wait in the car for 30 minutes.
EarlKuza ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:07:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha his mom probably made him that way.
FuriousTarts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or is this how mom's are made?
Mom Paradox
kennyl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:42:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whew, it could be a lot worse.
theycallmecrabclaws ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:50:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know, I shouldn't complain
Griever423 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:03:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing he knows the kitchen won't get cleaned after dinner and so he's getting certain stuff out of the way before everyone eats and is tired/needs bath/whatever else.
takinitliterally ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:49:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My ex-wife used to linger in the kitchen to clean after I'd sat down with my full plate. It was especially bad when I cooked, because she would wipe down the stove and even wash some dishes while I sat waiting. I would say, "The food's ready; I will clean up after we eat." But she refused to leave the kitchen dirty before she ate, thereby refusing to let me eat hot food (by that I mean the right temperature).
Damnit.
Edit: comma. Am I getting dumber?
LadyVic333 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:33:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's no chance I would wait if that repeatedly happened. Chow down lady!
raunchyfartbomb ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:20:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is understandable though, as you adjusted to his habits rather than having excessive arguments.
But moms don't adjust to the kids habits, if they can't teleport into the seat, and wait for dinner the kid gets an earful.
theycallmecrabclaws ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:34:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I believe moms are, generally speaking, adjusting to their kids' habits when they do this.
zeropointcorp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife does this. Infuriating.
peensandrice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're nicer than I'd be. Dinner is ready!
I'm eating. They can have cold food.
snowinis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My husband does this! So frustrating! Also whenever we are going out, he would lie in bed playing games while I get ready, saying he just need to "get a t shirt and be done", then when I am really ready, waiting for him at the door he will definitely run to take a shit. Every damn time.
shadowsog95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well. Don't do that. When you say it's time to eat start eating. You make the food you decide when to eat it. If he still isn't there when your done start eating his food too.
keeperofcats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My roommate has no concept of time. He'll say - I'm ready in five minutes and you guys don't have your shoes on. We put shoes on, grab purses, and announce we are ready since he's not paying attention. His response - so am I, I just have to go to the bathroom, finish my hair, change...
ZincCadmium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just eat without him. Why should I have to eat cold food because you're piddlefarting around? Frequently I'm finished eating before he even starts. Whatever.
mistakenlovechild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Genius. I'm starting this.
sub_surfer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've just resorted to keeping the food warm until it's actually served, which is also useful considering I can never get the sides to finish at the same time.
FuffyKitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do the same. Of course everyone is now 9 or above and can serve themselves, but prior to that, totally.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just sit down and eat. Fuck it. I am not waiting on him. Sometimes I am done cleaning up before he gets to the table. I leave him a plate.
MENNONH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife jokes I have to go to the bathroom every time she said dinner is ready. She's only half wrong.
SomeWeightliftingGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad used to do this all the time and it would infuriate my mom. So I started cooking and setting a timer so I could give him the ten minute, 5 minute, 1 minute and 30 second warnings.
For some unknown reason he was never "late" to the table after the first couple of days and I finally got to eat in peace instead of listening to my mom sigh heavily and make the odd passive aggressive comment.
All that said I don't know why she couldn't just let his food get cold. He's an adult and microwaves exist.
Angry_Caveman_Lawyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just start eating if my wife is fucking off doing other shit.
whathedoesntknow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Five hours later and a bajillion comments into this thread: THIS is what I need to do! My SO is constantly doing this! I just spent an hour making dinner. I want to eat it when it's warm! I'm going to practice this tonight.
Rockapp2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or give him the el classico - sit down and eat when you are ready to eat and if he complains say "sorry you should have came when i called you"
Yimms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As long as both parties can agree to a buffer or no buffer I see no problem
Antistis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandparents are like this, and it's kind of funny. Five minutes before dinner: 'Hey sweetheart call your grandfather for dinner.' He gets to the table BEFORE dinner is done.
Dinner is on the table? 10-20 minutes before he's at the table. The rest of us just eat without him.
theanswerisforty-two ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My husband has done that a lot in the past, mostly when he is on the phone with his dad or a friend and just forgets. Once or twice I brought food to him. After that, I just ate without him.
SuperKate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. I figure if I go through the trouble to prepare a hot meal, it's fair to be annoyed if it gets cold before he makes it to the kitchen
owningmclovin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I give my fiancรฉe a five minute warning. Then tell her dinner is ready. Then I just start eating because she has never once gotten ready within the five minutes and it is so annoying.
polysyllabist2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:47:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let him decide what he wants to do with the information you give him. Don't make decisions for him, that's controlling. You don't get to decide what's "right" for him any more than he should lie to you because he knows what's "right" for you.
Memeietta ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:00:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We had to help make dinner as kids & split house chores. I'm still fascinated by other kids who have moms who just did stuff like this for them all the time.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:17:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Memeietta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:08 on August 19, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah just reading this now - sorry! Wanted to add I hope you weren't thinking I was making a judgement on your Mom not working when I said my original comment that I find it fascinating. Personally, I love cooking and cleaning really relaxes me, so even though I'm working will cook for my fiancรฉ and I and do most of the household chores. And there's nothing more insulting than doing something I choose to do and like to do and have some moron tell me I shouldn't do it because it's not progressive. What is not progressive is giving into social pressures of other people, and not doing what makes you happy for fear of what other people think. On that note - for anyone to get offended by you said above - that is complete BS. You didn't imply anything negative about your Mom.
creditcardpie ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:44:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you aren't counting all the raising and supervising of you kids as "work" but you can be damn sure she did.
Source: am stay at home mom.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:24:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is a lie I stand by. 90% it takes forever to get everyone in there when it is ready. And I just spent an hour cooking something that I'm hoping everyone will enjoy, but I'm not going to say that because I don't want the guilt trip the kids. Will it kill you to sit there and just talk with each other like civilized people for 5 minutes while I frantically finish up?!
kennyl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:22:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No ma'am, we'd like to play Pokemon Go for another five minutes.
Walkerbaiit ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:27:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So you rush down, and then get yelled at for "hovering around while she's dishing up".
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:16:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You hear those words you have exactly 3 seconds before screaming ensues if your not present.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:07:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom still does this. I'll be up in my room and hear "dinner's ready!" I go downstairs to an empty table, dinner in the oven. "You said it was ready?" "It'll be ready in a minute, go sit down". 10 minutes passes. Still not ready. And of course if I walk away she yells at me, when no one else in the house even came down the first time she called.
radarix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:37:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i was this kid. mention food and i'm there instantly, getting annoyed at the rest of my family who apparently don't need to eat that badly.
Randy__Bobandy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:24:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my mom would pull the dinner's ready line, and lure me into the kitchen to make me set the table. understandable since she cooked every night, but bothered me before i knew better
swanyMcswan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:27:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember the worst that this ever happened to me was I was playing a video game. My mom calls and says dinner is about ready and asks me to set the table. I go into the kitchen and start to set the table when I realize she has just started browning the hamburger for lasagna. I went back to my video game for about an hour before supper was actually ready.
InVultusSolis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:50:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This sort of thing seems similar to those people who set the microwave for at least twice as long as something takes to cook, and then expects someone else to sit there and babysit it, to turn it off at the right time.
OPTheLegend ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:00:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
also, Ok time to go!
1 hour later
Ok we really need to leave
Ryudius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:15:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: COME AND EAT Me: You're not even done making food! Mom: That's why you have to make it yourself
SinkTube ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:40:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It ws that kind of family, eh?
Ryudius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I was born without the mercy of mobile formatting.
MyyyyyLEEEEEGGGGG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:16:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You just gave me so much PTSD anxiety from childhood.
ztikkyz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:27:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funny thing is that my gf is exactly like that, we always watch a tv show while eating supper and everytime she's like "You can come its ready" so I stop gaming, go to the kitchen, then... wait.. wait.. wait.. and as we start to eat, she go back up, i gotta pause, she gets something to drink or watever.. annooooys me haha
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:37:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My husband does this when he cooks and it annoys the fuck out of me.
Jushak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:50:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, after a while my mother just gave up on getting me to eat with the family at the table. After that she gave up on having me eat the meals in the kitchen. It didn't help her case that she and my father both liked to watch TV while eating anyway, so they didn't have much of a moral high ground to preach at us.
_-Redacted-_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:09:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
or:
Mom: -REDACTED-!
Kid: Ya?
Mom: Come here a sec Im not shouting through the walls!
Kid: walks into next room
waits...
waits...
Moms still faffing about on the computer...
waits...
10 minutes later...
Kid goes to go back to what they were doing
Mom: DONT WALK AWAY ON ME!
2_Headed_Cat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:26:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was about to post the same thing! And apparently, they did this because they wanted me to offer to help finish dinner and get it on the table. Which I would have gladly done, had they asked, but in their minds a good girl never needs to be asked, she offers.
ofthedappersort ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:54:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that's even worse when your mom makes terrible food
QwertyLime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:14:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought I was the only one... Hello fellow brothers and sisters whose mother's did this. My sympathies Comrades.
chickentrousers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:23:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my mum's dinner early-warning system was way off. Either she'd call us, we'd turn up immediately and NOTHING. Or we'd delay and delay and get yelled at a few more times, then turn up and find a plate of food going cold.
I'm 90% certain she never communicated with my dad (y'know, the guy cooking it) and just made a random guess.
GrandDukeOfNowhere ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:32:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And "clear the table so we can eat", then some time after dinner "who's moved my important forms; I left them right here on the table"
Deavian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:30:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually learned to smell when dinner was ready. I'd get a whiff of food and then wander out as plates were being served. They never had to call me in they knew I just had some primal instinct to wander from my cave say thanks and scurry away
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:12:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh fuck yes, hey where is it?"
"Right hold him down and get him in the sack, we'll throw him in the river and go back to being financially stable!"
Ahh, childhood memories.
gray_rain ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:36:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
T R I G G E R E D
R
I
G
G
E
R
E
D
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In our house we refer to this as being "mommed"
ryeguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
mum im clutchin, calm down love
MilleniumForce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yay dinner!
"Now help set the table"
BreastUsername ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry 'bout your childhood.
Cylon_Toast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*gets to the table* Where's dinner?
"Well you have to dry the dishes first!"
KneeDeep185 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"5 minutes, Turkish" "Wut? You said 2 minutes 5 minutes ago!"
Fancy_Pantsu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
UGH. That call became known as the "5 more minutes until dinner is almost ready" call.
OhBestThing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
DAMNIT MOM I HAVE TO GET TO A SAVEPOINT - every night circa 90's early 2000's
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"mum I'm clutching, calm down love"
inducedjoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
triggered
drake_bird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is a universal thing, I've seen this even in India.
imdungrowinup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:36 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my house it was different. I would dance around the kitchen asking for food and mom would get pissed off. I was a constantly hungry child.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So it's not just me!
I brought it up once and I was scolded for being impolite/spoiled
mildlyEducational ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:52:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Free home cooked meal > five wasted minutes. You can complain, but make it clear that you're still far more grateful for the meal.
Also, there's a good chance your mom just wanted five minutes to talk to you.
ZebulonPike13 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:51:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then the mom should just say, "dinner's almost ready, come hang out" instead of "come down for dinner" when dinner isn't actually ready.
mildlyEducational ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:39:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's true on a rational level, but how would the average teenager respond.
SinkTube ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:36:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"ok, be right down"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I usually just wait 5 minutes when my wife tells me dinner's ready.
Same thing when she says she's ready to go.
"I'm ready!"
"Then what are you doing in the bathroom?"
"Just finishing up something."
"THEN. YOU. AREN'T. FUCKING. READY."
fool_on_a_hill ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:12:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
gets to table
"Help set out the dishes honey"
goes back to bedroom
B4rrett50c ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:15:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always says that then I have to set the table :(
InVultusSolis ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't a lie, it's more like social engineering.
Like with a party... depending on the general feel you have for your group of friends and their sense of punctuality, you have to set the start time of any social event 1-4 hours before you want everyone showing up. I've known some groups where "show up at 5" means "9 is fine" and "show up at 10" means "this party isn't going to be in full swing until 2 AM".
If you know it's going to take 5 minutes to pry them away from their video games or whatever they're doing, you call 5 minutes early. On the off chance that they come instantly, then say "thanks for being punctual".
stengebt ยท 3612 points ยท Posted at 12:52:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I know what I'm doing"
[deleted] ยท 2426 points ยท Posted at 14:52:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Jotap28 ยท 1144 points ยท Posted at 15:08:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Part of being a parent is convincing your children that you are rock solid. This plays a great role on how much they trust you. It's not about being untrue to them, it's just so that you give them reasons to trust your advice. (Obviously, given that you are a good parent/human being)
BigDaddyDelish ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 16:30:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think this goes the same way everything else where knowledge is paramount to success goes in that it shouldn't be about knowing the answer flat out, but knowing how to find the answer and talking through possible conclusions.
A doctor that is facing a disease with symptoms she can't put together, or an engineer that doesn't know what a certain part is rated for are going to use the tools to find that answer. I'd have a lot more respect for my parents' knowledge if they occasionally said, "You know, I don't know that. Let's look it up."
When it comes to life advice it gets a little more complicated, but I think advice concerning personal matters becomes insanely more valuable and trustworthy if you are humble enough to admit that you don't know everything. I resented my parents a lot for telling me how to live my life and what was best for me, even if sometimes they were right.
But I think also adding in a spice of, "maybe you're not infallible" early on helps kids to be able to think and find answers for themselves too instead of relying on you to be an encyclopedia on the world. I'm not a parent so maybe I'm a bit naive, but having worked a significant amount with children through tutoring and assistant teaching, I found young children were very receptive to the, "let's find the answer together" solution rather than me outright telling them the answer.
Jotap28 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 16:37:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I get your point and I agree with it.
What I was trying to say is that, even though you do not know the answers, it is important for your (mostly young) children to look at you as someone whose advice they can trust. It's not that you are not being humble, but, as a parent, if you show small children that you are unsure, most of the times they can pretty much turn the tables and make themselves believe they know better, and thus leading to second guessing your opinions.
Either way, I think your explanation was pretty much on point :). At some stage, parents should bring their children to their level and discuss what can/cannot, should/shouldnot be done. At teen level, it is real important to let kids shape themselves with your guidance and not with your imposition.
Reallyhotshowers ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:11:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom DID always say "I'm not sure, let's go try to find out," and then go look it up with me, thereby teaching me solid research techniques and how to solve my own problems/answer my own questions. This started when I was a small child. I never thought she was any less infallible for it; she made not have had the answer, but she knew how to get one, god dammit.
My mom was the shit.
10takeWonder ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:34:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I also did this to my own mother when she wouldn't stop bugging me about her computer or phone being "broken". She's a really smart person but, like me, has ADD and can't focus for long. Teaching someone how to use Google, and then learning how not to hold them when they're crying does wonders for their problem solving heh
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:57:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, asking someone else to fix your problem is the old version of google.
10takeWonder ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:32:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was encyclopedia's the way my house looked growing up haha
throwaway00000000035 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:44:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I spent more time reading about Andorra and aluminum than I care to admit. I only had "A" and "D" book of the world book encyclopedia.
Oh and Australia and Austria and Australian rules football... I've forgotten all of it though.
Lizzie7493 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:56:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was so shocked when a work colleague of mine said that whenever she doesn't know what to answer her 3y.o. daughter she tell her "it's how Jesus wants it to be". And this woman works in science, how can it even happen.
My parents always did this to me (when they didn't know the answer to some question and I hadn't been bugging them about it for 3 hours of course) and I think it was very positive because it teaches kids that nobody knows everything and that's okay.
accountnumberseven ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:14:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's how you breed atheists. Which I'm not against, but that doesn't sound like it's her intent.
Lizzie7493 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:25:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think it breeds non-thinkers, that's my major worry. There's too many of them already.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:54:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably both. Kids who aren't intelligent will accept it, and kids who are will call bullshit. Or maybe, kids who are well behaved and kids who are rebellious.
throwaway00000000035 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of s01e01 pilot of the newsroom. Are we really number one in percentage of adults who believe angels are real?
Pence128 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You might have an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone. Ask her how many times she believed something because someone told her "it's how Jesus wants it to be."
RhynoD ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:52:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but I would have appreciated my parents admitting to fuck ups. It teaches you as a kid to handle messing up and not knowing with grace. It's ok for parents to not know, it's ok for parents to make mistakes. It's not ok for them to never own up to mistakes and not knowing.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:59:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents did that to me. And they were wrong about a bunch of shit. I've looked like an idiot multiple times in my life because I believed what my parents told me.
I take a different approach.
If I don't know, I tell my kid that I don't know. Then we can research it together.
I'm not really interested in passing on my trust issues to my kid.
MinisterforFun ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:44:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad told me an embarrassing lie when I was around 9-10 years old.
He said "if you card didn't have any money left, you could just tell the bus driver and he'd give you a free ride."
I'm not stupid, I knew it couldn't be true, it just didn't make sense.
One day I was going to school and I forgot to top up the value and couldn't pay for the bus fare so I ended up walking all the way.
When I came back after school and told him what happened, he looked at me and just laughed saying I was foolish enough to believe him.
Many years later, I told my mom about it and she didn't believe that her husband would do such a thing. She still doesn't.
To this day, I look at him with scorn whenever he displays signs of hypocrisy, like, "I don't trust the GPS, I only trust the directions I typed out myself".
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:17:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't admitting that you don't know everything gain their trust even better? I'm watching a set of parents raise a teenager and the "I'm right because I know better" just isn't getting results.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:42:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother manages to annoy me (with my already instable teenager mood) to no end. She tells me all the time what should I do and how to do it, which would be fine, but when I dare to say "I don't think so" or "I already know what I'm going to do", we are just pointlessly arguing. If you can't give a solid argument or just an anecdote backing up you opinion, it's probably not much better than how I would do it. It's just the way you would do it. It feels incedibly bad to have your ideas without much consideration wiped off the table. On the plus side I think the sacrifice of life quality which comes with living in a dormitory is well worth this kind of freedom.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:44:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in my mid-twenties and have been on my own paying rent since 19. My attitude toward my parents hasn't changed and it baffles me the kinds of decisions they make and how justified they feel in making them.
I'm assuming that some people have reasonable parents that are in the right when they say they are, but all I see is a generation that is fixed on routine and what is "right and wrong".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every stage is different.
your_moms_a_clone ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:19:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's better if the parent admits this before the kid has to figure it out on their own, I think. Teaches kids about responsibility and owning up to your mistakes. My mom could do that, my dad couldn't. Guess which one I ended up having a better relationship with?
GRYFFIN_WHORE ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:20:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Completely agree, except it was opposite for me. My mom still cannot admit when she was wrong or doesn't know something. My dad however can admit when he doesn't know something, and we figure it out together.
dluminous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your dog, because dogs are awesome.
your_moms_a_clone ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:18:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a dog person, I can only handle them in small doses.
Zack1018 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:44:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
However, as your kids get older a big part of being a parent is easing out of the "I am your god" image and into the "I am your friend" image. In my opinion that is why teenage/young adult "angst" is so common, because they realize that their parents are flawed human being but the parents try to act as though they are still infallible in their children's eyes.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:11:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Zack1018 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:52:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The "I am your friend" is not necessarily a healthy relationship for a teenager and their parent, however in my opinion that is the relationship that an adult (25+ yo usually) should have with their parent. My point was that parent-children relationships are very different between a 10 year old and a 30 year old, and that transition needs to begin somewhere.
I believe the over-controlling parents and "angsty" children are a result of that transition happening too slowly, and out-of-control teens with pushover parents are an example of that transition happening too fast.
psilozip ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:32:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's an interesting way to think about it.
auguris ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:56:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. The relationship should evolve to mentorship. My parents will always have more life experience than me.
grimitar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
MFT?
psilozip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am wondering the same.
Pizzazzyturtle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I presume Marriage and Family Therapist
Jotap28 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As I replied in parallel, that is also my opinion. At some point during the teens, parents got to support and guide their children's development path not impose it.
invaderark12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hell I'm 20 and my parents still do this.
dluminous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy crap, as a young adult who is not a parent, this is pretty mind blowing.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:40:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It would be better to be honest.
1337Gandalf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe that's why I've never trusted my mom? Because she ran around like a chicken with it's head cut off.
Metal-Marauder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here's the thing: it only goes to a certain point. Parents should admit they're wrong sometimes. Parents should always explain their reasoning, too. Doing this maintains your kid's perception that you know more than them while additionally teaching them how to make logical decisions and think their actions through rather than following you blindly. It also makes the kid feel more like you trust them.
cactuscat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also providing them with security.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, also they need you to be infallible when they are little. You can let the reins slip a little as they get older and older, but rock solid is right. Just like kids need rules and boundaries to feel secure, they need mom and dad to be all good, all knowing and all powerful to feel secure when they are small.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WE KNEW IT
SEM580 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now there's a freudian slip.
loljetfuel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's a lot of value in letting your kids see that you make mistakes. They know they do, and they're more likely to ask for your help if they see that you're not perfect either. It makes you more approachable.
My dad always let me see his process of trying something, taking risks, making mistakes, and making it right when he did so. That's why when I got myself into tough situations I knew I could ask him for advice; if he was perfect all the time, how could he possibly tell me how to fix a mistake?
mnh5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think this differs on how you were raised. I grew up with parents who taught me they were just ordinary human beings who made mistakes like anyone else. I knew I could rely on them and that they would give good advice, but at no point did they ever want me to think they were infallible.
They still were and are my heros.
Matrillik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nice insight. There's so much to parenting that is difficult to figure out on your own, and makes me so anxious about even the prospect of it.
Pence128 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Explain how lying to them is a reason for them to trust you.
cquinn32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then you reach that moment in middle school where you realize some adults are idiots.
Umadhun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That made me sad.
maggieG42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have never tried to convince mine of that. I'm actually the complete opposite and will openly after making the mistake point my mistake out and just tell them I have buggered up and then ask them how they think I can fix it or repay them if my mistake had an effect on them. We all make mistakes and it is the learning from them, the slight humiliation and seeking of knowledge, forgiveness that makes us all human. To learn that is a more valuable skill then to learn to hide mistakes or to be so worried about being seen as less that you dare not become more.
Sawses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I learned at a fairly young age that authority =/= competence. Kinda made me come across as an arrogant little shit...but insisting on knowing why I should do what I'm told has served me fairly well, since it lets me operate with a large amount of initiative and autonomy in any situation.
Darth-Pimpin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You best never tell them outright, though. The moment I realised my dad didn't know everything was the moment he told me he knew everything.
thatgoat-guy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:00:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And once they're old enough to realize that you were lying, they couldn't give a shit
Shinjetsu01 ยท 680 points ยท Posted at 15:25:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
This is such a true observation. As a kid, my parents were like, my heroes. They always provided for me, we never really had much to complain about and emotionally they were always there for me. The older I got though, the more I realised they were REALLY BAD ADULTS (but still good parents) They drank beer/cider every single night in HUGE quantities - Dad would have 8 cans of 5% Stella Artois (I thought this was normal behaviour) they smoked 20 cigarettes a day. My mum was addicted top opiates (cocodamol). They never encouraged my intelligence into actually trying hard at school as they were happy with the B's and C's I'd churn in with minimal effort. They drove their credit ratings into the floor. They tried to skip bills. They didn't socialise with other adults. They didn't build anything for later life. They always lived paycheck to paycheck and looking back, I was never afforded things like going on the school trips or anything like that
Sharkoh ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 17:53:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This hits really close to home. My parents never really pushed me to achieve anything. It was nice in a way to be left to my own devices but at the same time by never pushing me, I put in the minimal effort required. Not just in school, but in all aspects of life.
[deleted] ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 18:38:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a typical redditor, praised for being smart, coasting through high school and never developing the work ethic. Like all kids like that I hit a wall, in my case university. I dropped out, couldn't handle the responsibility of actually having to apply myself and got into drinking/partying in a big way as a means of distracting myself from what I realise now was my fear of failure. I like my life but I in no way lived up to whatever potential I had.
ZobmieRules ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:16:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am now convinced we are brothers. In not blood, but soul.
Aurelius314 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:10:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit - are you me? Im in the exact same boat, except i throw away my life on computer games rather than alcohol.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I also play computer games! I'm actually not doing too badly, married and emigrated to where I always wanted to live. I also love my work, I just never ended up in academia/STEM like my parents expected.
VoiceSC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can I ask what kind of work you're doing?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Audio Technician.
phrixious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, now you're really sounding like you're living my life. Also dropped out of university, emigrated to live with my girlfriend in a country I always wanted to live in, also work with music, also drink too much, also play too many games (though not so much anymore, I learned having a standing desk deters hours of gaming)
Though, I'm planning on finish school next fall, I mostly dropped out because my visa to move went way faster than we expected (it said 14 months, took us 5 weeks), so hopefully I'll have that going for me, which will be nice
VoiceSC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What does that mean exactly? For me personally video games have been the only thing I've been good at some I'm trying to make that a career.
Aurelius314 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It means that i'm enrolled in uni (dietician) but i spend too much time on my pc ( dota and csgo and twitch) so i end up not getting enough study time in, so there's a decent % i fail and drop out
VoiceSC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The way I try to help myself out when it comes to that is to think which is more important to me, to push myself to achieve my goals and dreams and live the life I want or to get swept up in the normal routine and end up failing and living with my parents working a dead end job.
billionaire_ballsack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now imagine that boomers control everything. (hint: you don't have to imagine because it's true)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The only benefit is that one day (hopefully not any time soon) I'll inherit some of my boomer parents' wealth. It's hard not to resent the boomer generation in the houses that they bought for cheap (with wages that were worth far more) in the 70s/80s and will sell for $1M+.
billionaire_ballsack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard from multiple boomers that the home prices and values have been steadily decreasing, many of them thought they would sell for more ...also many overseas investors are coming in and buying the flipped/foreclosed/empty ones and renting them out, lastly... the people who gave out all those bad mortgages are poised to do it all over again (Documentary: The Big Short).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Toronto, house prices are just crazy here. It's actually to the point where I'm considering changing careers. I have a great opportunity for a career here but I'd have to stay in Toronto where I don't think I'll ever be able to buy. If I train up in a more flexible job I'd be able to live/buy wherever.
billionaire_ballsack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Manymost younger people have now resigned to never owning a home. I'd be curious to hear which job you decide to train up in if you decide to change careers.[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Overhead lineman, a lot of current linemen are retiring and it's a good time to try and get into the industry. I work a job which has the capacity to pay well (audio technician, I get paid between $25-40CAD an hour depending on the placement) but I'd like something a bit more stable if I can do so.
billionaire_ballsack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for sharing. What do you think of electrician's assistant?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also a very good idea. It's hard to land one of these jobs but they're about as lucrative as can be for a job that doesn't require a university degree.
sdpr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We're a large group.
kadett244 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think I was you all through school but I got a paid scholarship to electrical engineering along with maybe 20 other guys. The thing is some of them who I'm good friends with have really strong work ethics and they pull me along and peer pressure in my case actually results in me studying more. One of my mates who got a first class honors is currently living with me this week to help me study for my repeats and I'm doing way more work with him than I could on my own . . .
This all came at the expense of partying and a good social life though
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents told me I was going to be a doctor or something when I was a pre-teen just because I got really good test scores. But they basically gave up on me the day I got my first B- in seventh grade, and I've been living down to their expectations ever sense.
baksomalang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my man this is exactly me except i dropped out earlier in high school
i was pretty much a nervous anxious wreck in high school so i'd like to think all that excessive partying/drinking in college actually did me a bit of good. though i guess it's just what i decided to settle with instead of accepting that i haven't amount to anything worthwhile all this time.
SunshinePumpkin ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:39:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is very interesting to read. I know kids in this sort of situation and wonder how they view their parents. I mean, you can obviously do all sorts of things and still love your kids. I also wonder what these kids think of my family, how we differ from their parents and how they view my kids. Or do they even notice any differences?
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:21:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TheTartanDervish ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:08:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Check if you live in a place with "finial piety" laws. If so, find out how to get an exemption. If not, don't worry about them.
CyanCorsair ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:59:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Inspiration +10.
Heddron ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:06:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Been there. I use their behavior as a guide: If I start to remind myself, or my husband, of my folks, it's a cue to change my bahavior. Having a good spouse helps keep me honest.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:36:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are we siblings?
Shinjetsu01 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:08:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I doubt it, my little sister has followed in their mould very much so, made bad life decisions and still lives with them at 28.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:51:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:58:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno about his advice to his sister. But until 4 months before I turned 25, I was still living at home, with no real future, or plans, or anything. I went back to school, got a Bachelors, and now, at 35, have a decent career. The student loans are murder, but if you're smart, go into STEM, you can really turn the ol' life around.
Shinjetsu01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:06:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Move out, get into social/council housing - find a job, any job. Live within your means. Don't quit because you think the world owes you anything. Every job she has ever had her manager has "had it in for her" which is about 6/7 times now?
Be independent before you lose the ability to have the choices afforded to you in your mid 20's that shape you as you get older.
Snow_King7 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:46:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit was the worst life decision I've ever made big bro...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:59:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents are using my husband and myself as their retirement plan and are living with us. Never saved a dime except to smoke and drink and I couldn't bear to see them homeless but damn this situation sucks.
Shinjetsu01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, the whole guilt trip is awaiting you. Barely a week goes by where I'm not asked for money. I'm not particularly rich, but I live a fairly decent life. My grandfather passed away not so long ago and my dad was banking on his money to see him through into his later years. Thing is - in later life my grandfather became accustomed to a life he couldn't afford on his pensions and being proud, didn't want anyone else to know. Meant he died in a lot of debt. The ruling in the UK means that the debt dies with him thankfully, but the money my parents were expecting is all gone.
I know for a fact that they'll retire with nothing. They don't even own their own home, so I'll end up housing them in one of mine - rent free or less than the mortgage is.
I'm thinking of sitting them down in the next few years and saying "right - what's your plan for retirement because it sure as fuck aint falling on my head"
Thing is, my sister drifts from relationship to relationship and her latest flame could get tired of her, resulting in another "move back home".
Ever felt like you could have been adopted and just never told?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:55:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I wish I was...
Shinjetsu01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Listen, you're not alone. I'll listen to you rant about them any time. Sometimes it helps.
Funny thing though, I look nothing like my father - I do look like my Uncle (his brother) but thats a story for another time....
wut_seriously ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:22:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Proceeds to list all sorts of things that make them bad examples of how to live life.
Doesn't mean you don't love them though.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:50:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my God, yes! My parents, though hardworking and good providers, drank constantly, too! I thought it was totally normal for adults to drink 8 or 9 beers a day. Also, just like you said, my parents never socialized with other adults (including our extended family) or pushed me to try harder.
I think your old man and my old man should get together and go bowling.
Shinjetsu01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:17:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They'd probably both complain about how the world sucks
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:41:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh. Definitely. That's a given.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:53:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's terrible.
roboninja ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 16:39:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like Stella. Fuck me, I guess.
null_work ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:08:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, if you're attractive...
Touchmycooker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:52:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ehhh, I'm not picky... I'm in.
BrokenMobius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:07:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
With every sip.
snake--doctor ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:54:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's so bad about Stella?
littlebrwnrobot ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:05:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
nothing. people are just elitist about beer
Touchmycooker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:51:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's so true, I used to have a friend that would get annoyed that my favorite beer is Guinness, then he'd list off a bunch of beers I should be drinking instead
SuperSlam64 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 19:04:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
When a beer is literally nicknamed "Wife beater" I think there is more at play than just beer elitism.
Edit: This is just what I've heard, not my own opinion.
QuasarsRcool ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:47:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, no there isn't and that's a stupid line of reasnoning. I've never even heard that nickname for Stella. Wife beater? Really? Stella is pricier than any beer I've seen shitheads drink.
Stormcloudy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's still an Inbev product, and it's still pretty bland. If you like, it, that's obviously perfectly fine. But for my dollar, a cheap Mexican beer (YMMV, I live in the South, so it's not expensive) tastes very similarly for much less, and doesn't come with dressed up pretensions like their commercials like to imply.
I've never actually bought a six-pack of them or anything to give them a multi-day test, and I don't drink alcohol anymore. But the one bottle I drank at a food and booze tasting was just very plain. Again, plain is fine. I like unflavored oatmeal and white rice. But I don't try to claim that those dishes are fancy or "pure" just to dress up my comfort food.
SuperSlam64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:58:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard this from my Dad and we live in the UK. So maybe it's an older British generation's thing about Stella.
snake--doctor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Odd, I've never heard that nickname. I don't think its amazing or anything but I was confused as to the hate.
null_work ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:09:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, it's just middle of the road beer. Not terrible, not great.
poptart2nd ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:15:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Literally the worst part of everything he said.
yeame3 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you too
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good ole reverse psychology right there
Fazz20 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:12:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aside from the drugs this is exactly what it's like in my family. Unfortunately I have a really bad anxiety problem (they do too hence the drinking.) I'm hoping to be the most stable and understanding adult I can possibly be for my kids.
Siphon1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:43:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read it as "I'm now getting to 60 and relying on the government pension.
I was thinking to myself, "Geez this guy isnt doing much better"
huzaifa96 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:01:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just a guy on the Internet, but I can't help but say that I am so, so proud of you. Great example of "self-actualized" here.
null_work ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a stupid opiate to get addicted to. It's weak and is part tylenol, which goes terribly with the drinking.
OnlyRacistOnReddit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:39:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you! I know several people that have been through the same thing. I'd say 10% actually figure that out and break the cycle.
PiousLiar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:48:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See? They did teach you something! /s
159258357456 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:54:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you're turning out to be a well-rounded adult. I'd call that good parenting.
DeftShark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FML this is so me.
VoiceSC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:05:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Parents can be great in that you can always take something from them, even if it's trying hard not to do some things they did.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:24:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, sounds like you're doING better than your parents. So they didn't fail.
tableman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:15:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually pretty impressive that people with such self destructive tendencies didn't fuck up their kids. Kuddos to them.
Reechter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think this goes to show that even people with their own serious problems can be good parents and raise good children
DesireInspires ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not getting to 60 and relying on the government pension. I'm going to be debt free, have emergency funds and push my kids into doing better than I did."
Yeah, we will see.
1nsaneMfB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy crap, your comment rings really true for me.
Last year we moved into the same town as my wife's parents, and we see and work with them daily.
The whole time i've been here, i've been totally shocked at how much different her family is to mine. Almost pure polar opposites.
If i could sum it up, my blood family's theme would be : "people are always trying to screw you over, here's how to avoid becoming a chump"
Her family's theme would be "How can we all help eachother and build a better life together".
This really made me look at my blood family completely differently.
It's such a different mind-set and it feels so good not to hear constant complaints.
bitwaba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The moment you grow up is when you realize your parents didn't.
PM_me_ur_Dinosaur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
IT's amazing when your parents are addicts what you will accept as "normal." Basically anything is normal if you were raised with it.
TitaniumDragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad I have really awesome parents who are really good at being responsible adults, so I never had to go through this.
Painting_Agency ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:25:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not convinced they were "good parents" either.
Eipa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:55:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I am to this day convinced that parenting is the most overestimated activity. The one important thing is presence. And then there is some minor stuff which is fairly easy as well (changing diapers, show some love, feeding, helping with homework). 'Good parenting' like pushing the children for success (as suggested in this thread oftenly) must be handled with care as you can easily overdo that, in my eyes. Doesn' t make you a bad parent of course but can be more damaging than helping.
Edit: Grammar
KolyaKorruptis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:12:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like your parents are hippies and you - like so many hippie children - are a square. That's really all there is to it. And they may be wondering what they did wrong when you are counting your emergency funds and push your kids to "a better life than you had". (Is it really better to be pushed anywhere?) Maybe some day you'll realize that your own children are coming after their grandparents. Circle of life, man. :)
Shinjetsu01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents were most certainly not "hippies", I'm more outgoing than they ever were. They were bad with money, bad at setting an example of how to be a responsible adult. What a ridiculous assumption to make that i'm a square.
KolyaKorruptis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Compare yourself to the Dude from Big Lebowski instead of your parents. He's bad with money, drinks a lot... and would probably be an awesome dad. All I'm saying is that your parents apparently allowed you to become who you are today, even if that's completely different to themselves. Yet you describe it as your virtue to push your own kids into doing better than you did.
Shinjetsu01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm mad at them for what i could have accomplished if I was pushed, or if I was given them to aspire towards. I wasn't. They let me do the bare minimum. Imagine them like Hal and Lois from Malcolm in the Middle. Great parents, but shitty adults. The thing is, they pushed Malcolm, made sacrifices so he could be whatever he chose to be - I never had that. I'm not complaining, I had a better upbringing than someone who had a shitty one - but they could have been firmer with me.
KolyaKorruptis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I see. But you're old enough and have obviously taking responsibility of your own life long ago. So stop being mad at them for who they are and what may have been. I know it ain't easy, but from your own description it doesn't sound like they owe you anything. A part of being an adult is not blaming your parents anymore.
[deleted] ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 15:10:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 23 and I'm still pretty sure my parents are superhumans.
jobear6969 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:36:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right??? Mom can get any stain out of any shirt I own and Dad knows how to fix everything in the house. Boring, very useful superhumans.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:41:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Plus they have the uncanny ability to make any meal taste better. I consider myself a pretty good cook (they began teaching me how to cook when I was like 12), but food prepared in their kitchen is automatically better.
jefferylucille ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:45:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats nostalgia and love you are tasting, and probably a bit of "i didnt have to cook this so its so much more rewarding"
jobear6969 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know I have grown to appreciate good home cooked meals way more once I started having to cook for myself
Tactically_Fat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:32:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They'll get smarter the older you get as well.
singularity2030 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:11:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They get dumber to you as you progress in to the teenage years then smarter again as you become an adult. Usually. There are some pretty bad parents too.
eetsumkaus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:53:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Props to your parents for actually being adults
borna761 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:01:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
32, doesn't change.
DeadliestRed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 23 and I think my parents are absolutely abhorrent.
klethra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think the trick is that they keep learning every year. Otherwise I got dropped a few too many times as a kid.
LeavesCat ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:40:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
However you do pass through the teenage phase first where you think your parents are wrong all the time when they aren't.
rjjm88 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:38:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I went from "my mom can do no wrong, my dad's a drunken asshole" to "both of my parents are horrible" to "my dad is trying the best he can, but he had to deal with my mom somehow and that somehow was booze".
ohmygodnotagain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
More time equals more perspective.
rjjm88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And more time to get stories that make you go "she did WHAT!?".
walrusunit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:49:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Would be fucking great if my parents realized this too
Zedric69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've realize this, my mother hasn't.
artificial3089 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, my girls always ask me if I'm lost or know where I'm going if I take too long driving somewhere.
komali_2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I say "I know what I'm doing more than you."
Then I stick my tongue out and make a farting noise.
cicalfritz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I figured that out as a young child and have lived in a constant state of semi-panic as a result.
redebekadia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was maybe 6 or 7 my best friend was telling me all about how Santa puts presents under the tree for her. I was like, there is no Santa, it's your mom (I wasn't raised believing in Santa). She stood firm and said her mom knows everything.
I remember being so shocked at how blindly she believed to her mom. My parents raised me to question everything. They admitted they didnt know everything and taught me how to find answers. Her mom was always saying questionable things that even a 6 year old me knew was bull/not right. If she didn't know the answer to something she made shit up. But my friend thought she was the bees knees.
my_Favorite_post ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People sometimes ask me how I was able to forgive my parents for putting me through the hellish upbringing I had*. My answer is always "they did the best they could with the hand they were dealt."
Do I wish things were different? Yes.
Do I resent the situation and my childhood? Absolutely.
Do I understand that they did the best job they knew how to do? I eventually figured that out.
*I was raised as the sister to a sociopath and was a complete back burner child.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, and they just look like they know what they're doing because they've had to deal with more new things than you have.
Jagd3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a guy who grew up with an undiagnosed schizophrenic mother (she's since been diagnosed and is being treated for that and paranoia)I realized that very very early. It was terrible and to this day I still have a terrible relationship with my mother.
BlackHeart89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never thought of my parents as that great. I mean they were good, but I didn't see them or anyone as being exceptional in anyway. Except my mom in regards to how reasonable she was.
skylarmt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 14 I used this sarcastically: "I guess I have to do this thing mom, after all you know every truth in the universe".
WonderingLives ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed, you actually start to realize almost no one knows what we are doing. We all just figure it out as we g.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to think my dad was superman, then I realized he was just a drunk in a cape.
Dave Attell
RedditIsDumb4You ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah in my early memories she never got tired hitting me. But when I was older she would occasionally get tired or even hurt from hitting me. Parents have limitations
jcraig15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately, my parents never learned that about themselves.
skysinsane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I seemed to have skipped the period where I thought they were infallible.
Orisara ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your respect for them goes through the roof the moment that hits you.
I'm now older than the moment they had me(25)...I still feel like a kid.
Sure, have a gf, have a job, own part of a company...but having a child scares the shit out of me.
I mean, I probably "know" more than my parents did at this age(internet is nice like that, did some psychology studies, etc.) but still. Way to scared to screw up.
The_Fad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My fucking 9 year old is already smart enough to see this, and she totally calls me out on it. It's kind of the worst because I can't just subdue her anymore with the normal parenting tricks, I have to treat her and speak to her according to her intelligence while still trying to behave as if she's 9.
taulover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
โ John Steinbeck, East of Eden
obitrice-kanobi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
not even that. More like the older you get, the less you realize they knew.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God, that's the most terrifying lesson of becoming an adult IMO. They were faking their way through it the WHOLE time. I can barely be trusted to keep myself alive for a whole day, and my mom was a single parent to a 10 year old and a 5 year old when she was my age. I need to go hug Mom now. Knowing now how scary that must have been.
Poopster46 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And, even worse, not inflatable.
cthulu0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But sometimes as I fuck up at being a parent, I realize how much credit I did not give them.
HeyThereSport ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like it wavers back and forth. When you are a kid they are infallable, then you realized they are real people and make mistakes, but sometimes you take that to mean they are idiots who have no idea what they are doing, but then you bring it back and realize they have a lot of experience and wisdom after 50+ years on the planet that you are happy to have access to.
coreyjamz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My daughter is five and she already figured this out.
DodoDude700 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have known my parents screw thing up just like everyone else since I was like 7 or 8. They were always very open about it when the messed stuff up.
bettygauge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I will never forget the moment I realized my dad was not the all knowing master of things I thought he was. I was in kindergarten and asked him why Hanukkah is sometimes spelled with a 'k' (khanuka) or a 'c' (chanukah) after learning about the holiday at school. He absently responded, "It's only spelled with an 'h'."
For the first time I looked at him and thought, "You're wrong." Broke my little child's idealistic view of my father.
li0usine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had an actual moment around the time I turned 18 where I finally realised no one knows what they're doing, and I realised my parents never actually knew what they were doing ever lmao
Touchmycooker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents had me young (like literally I was a baby), but my mom would stay home and take care of me until I was old enough for school, while my dad would work every day at a fast food place in the mall while suffering from pretty bad RA. I never knew we were poor and it wasn't until much later that I realized how bad it was. I'm 21 now and my parents tell me stories of times our power was shut off or times we were almost evicted. Today they've both gone back to school and have good jobs, it's amazing to see how far they've come.
jenh6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, as a kid I thought my dad knew everything. Now I know that if he didn't know he was just fucking bullshitting me but I bought it hook, line and sinker. Apparently he thought it was a lot of fun to convince kids of certain things, much like Calvin's dad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I figured this out fairly early. It was not fun for them.
me_llamo_greg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The amount of stupid shit I have held against my parents has steadily decreased the closer I get to the age that my parents had me. I'm starting to realize you're not really prepared for a kid until you have one, and then from there, you're basically figuring shit out as you go. The petty things that upset me as a kid start to seem super insignificant now.
elocin1985 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funny, sad. Whatever you want to call it.
I agree though. I thought this about my parents also and my grandparents, and then I got older and learned the truth. None of them were or are bad people, but I realized that they didn't have things figured out, they struggled also, and had their own problems. But I had no idea. I was a pretty good kid, but it makes me sad to think of the times I was shitty or selfish to them and shouldn't have been.
Postmortal_Pop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 22 and have a 19 month old child of my own and my parents still pretend they are omniscient beings. When I got my girlfriend to quit smoking my mother spend the first 6 weeks talking about all the "secret harmful chemicals" in the patches just because I had the gull to say I checked the active chemical lists. My girlfriend also has a medical condition that prevents her from having cafine, a problem she was born with and diagnosed with at 2 and likely passed to our child. It causes her insane pains and masses in her kidneys that take weeks to go away. My father still doesn't see a problem with giving my son cafinated so soda and I'm the asshole for trying to tell him to stop
Iwanttobeanairbender ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or actually much stupider than you have ever been and were wrong in trusting them
5redrb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A great Mark Twain quote: When I was 20 my dad was the stupidest man in the world. By the time I turned 30 I was amazed how much he had learned."
HailSithisMeh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
While at the same time your parents still view you as the child who doesn't know better.
jackandjill22 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:56:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol
Keskekun ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:56:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid I shattered my collarbone like humpty Dumpty levels of not fixable shards sticking out of the skin and blood everywhere. I am so fucking scared that I'm just in a constant state of screaming and crying. By the time my mom turned up I had no voice left. Still screaming out nothingness. So she walks up to me with a smile and asks me why I am crying. I told her that I was scared. My mom with a big old smile looks me in the eyes and said "you don't have to be scared, darling. I know what I'm doing". Instantly stopped crying. When we reached the hospital I was all smiles and the doctor asked if I wasn't in pain fearing som kind of nerve damage. 8 year old me told him it hurt a lot but that it wasn't a problem because mom promised it would be okey.
ThatSwigglyLine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:52:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I came here to laugh, not to feel.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:00:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in my twenties and even now my mom says things like "when have I ever been wrong about anything?"
Uh, mom, do you really want me to answer that?
sugarandmermaids ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:58:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've only realized that my parents are people with issues and flaws in the past, like, five years. It's kind of jarring. I have anxiety and I still sometimes go to my mom just to hear her say everything is okay, though.
damontoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:17:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've started to notice she has some of the same negative traits that I do. She raised me to have them. It makes me pretty angry even though it wasn't intentional. But what's worse is she doesn't recognize them in herself like I do in myself.
ninjajpbob ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:23:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always fall for this shit and we end up using a Maps app to find our way back.
On the contrary, with my knowledgeable dad, I kept insisting that we were going to the right place, but it turned that that I accidentally tapped on the wrong branch's location.
damontoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:20:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think navigation isn't nearly as valuable as it used to be though. Because apps. We can drive basically anywhere and never be lost.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:17:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny because one time my family was vacationing in Manhattan with one of my moms friends. (Parents are divorced) and while on the subway I didn't want to use phone battery because it was shit so I just memorized the subway map and my mom couldn't understand the map and would snap at me for trying to help. Eventually she just said "All right Mr.Bigshot, you lead the way if you're so smart!" I got everyone to the location in less than 10 minutes.
glasspieces ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:58:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't want the inevitable crestfallen look when my kid finds out that this isn't true to ever cross her face. As a result, I tell her all the time, "Mommy doesn't know the answer to that, but let's look it up together!" or "I know a little something about this topic, which I will share with you, but if you want to know more, we'll have to Google it."
damontoo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:15:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't tell me how to drive. I've been doing it for decades!".
Well you'd think you'd be less shit at it then.
Weep2D2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:53:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still believe that parenting is the biggest, I'm winging it job ever..
You just make the best decision at the time and hope the kid doesn't end up in a suicide cult..
mxzf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:35:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We learned very quickly that that wasn't always the case with my dad. He is fairly competent overall, but I grew up reading the instruction manuals of the tools he bought when my mom wasn't around because he would just jump right in and start using things. Things usually went ok, but my help was needed often enough to make it worthwhile
I think the most memorable was the time he bought a cartridge-powered nail gun, the kind that you put a nail in and a blank .22 cartridge and hit the back to set off the charge and drive the nail in. He bought it for attaching studs to the cinder block walls of the basement to hang sheetrock. The first my mom and I learned of it was when we were sitting upstairs working on school (homeschooled) and we hear a gunshot from the basement. We went downstairs to see what had happened, found him using the thing, and asked if he'd read the manual/knew what he was doing. His response was that he thought we'd read the manual, despite the fact that he went right past us from the garage to the basement and didn't bother to mention that he had a new toy that we should read the manual for.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:22:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know...I often told my sons..."okay, kids, here goes nothing..."
supershinythings ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:16:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey Dad, what's this hole in the wall?
"Don't worry about it."
Anytime I heard "Don't worry about it" I worried about it. The hole in the wall was from an accidental discharge of a firearm after faulty reassembly subsequent to routine cleaning. Oops. He put the firing pin in backwards on a piece where it mattered, so it protruded when it should have been flush. When he tested the action, the round was slammed back into the protruding pin, striking the primer and igniting the powder, sending the round through the barrel and into the wall.
Oops.
amoodymermaid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:02:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is a lie. Am a mom. Have no idea what I'm doing.
HungJurror ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
nobody ever knows what their doing
TommyPot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or "Because I said so"
stillnoxsleeper ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I dont think they ever really say that. It's just that it seems that way so we assume.
OrgChem_4Life ยท 16722 points ยท Posted at 13:01:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll only be 5 minutes" this one is particularly deceptive if they are walking into a shop.
Jill-Sanwich ยท 9143 points ยท Posted at 14:38:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey I'm running to the store for some milk, wanna come? It'll be quick." Three hours later you realize that she forgot to mention that first she needed to stop at the pharmacy, get gas, run 2 errands, and somewhere along the way she always runs into a friend.
Pissedtuna ยท 3516 points ยท Posted at 15:36:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom did this to me all the time. It was such BS.
[deleted] ยท 3265 points ยท Posted at 16:29:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And she never thought anything was wrong about it.
After buying 4 times as much as she said we were going to get
"Okay, we got everything? Let's get home"
5 minutes later
"YOU NEED TO STOP RUSHING ME OUT OF PLACES. I FORGOT (thing she never even passingly mentioned and hadn't informed anyone about)!"
bellrunner ยท 809 points ยท Posted at 17:06:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I learned real quick to never leave the house with my mom if I didn't have a book with me. 4 hours of driving around isn't so bad when I can recline back and chug through some chapters. Hell, half the time she would let me stay in the car and read.
Ashkela ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 18:08:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then it would be 'how did you read so much this week? LET ME SEE YOUR HOMEWORK. DID YOU STAY UP ALL NIGHT READING AGAIN?'
That's the super bonus of smart phones. Kindle app! I started reading a universe that has something like 31 books in it so far as of July 26 and I'm on book 22.
CMDR_Elek ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:19:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What books?
Ashkela ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:25:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Connie Suttle. Multiple series, all the same universe. Blood Destiny series (10 books), Legend of the Ir'Indicti (5 books) High Demon (6 books) God Wars (5 books) - alll of those are finished. There are two in the Saa Thalaar series so far, five or six in the First Ordinance series (I'm on the first one of those, so correction, I'm on the 29th book), several in one more series that I believe is also the same universe. All the other are. If you want to read them, do them in the same order as I listed them, but when you finish the 5th of the first series, read the Ir'Indicti ones, then go back and finish the first one.
CMDR_Elek ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, fun! I've been working on a universe myself and I find it pretty original (at least to me). I need some inspiration!
angry_badger32 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you say "I've been working on a universe", do you mean you've been writing or reading? Either way, you could do worse than the Forgotten Realms universe for fantasy. There is a fuck-ton of books, by multiple authors (although I would recommend R.A. Salvatore). I've got about 41 of them and 35 are by R.A. Salvatore. If you are looking for Sci-Fi, try a few Warhammer 40K novels. If you go for 40K, I would recommend reading the 1st Ultramarines Onmibus, and then the Word Bearers Omnibus. Just to get a feel for the universe. I wouldn't say they are LoTR or Dune level books, but they are still good.
CMDR_Elek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Writing for a video game!
angry_badger32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Oh. I don't know shit about that.
Edit: Actually now that I think about it, it couldn't hurt to read Salvatore's stuff. He has written for video games before, like Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning.
CMDR_Elek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's just lore, could fit into basically anything.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:24 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ashkela ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol yeah yeah.
europahasicenotmice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your parents were unhappy that you read so much?
Ashkela ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:59:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read instead of doing chores. I read instead of doing homework. I read instead of sleeping. I read instead of playing outside. I once read 17 Nancy Drew books that I'd gotten for Christmas in two days. It wasn't that they were unhappy I read so much, but that they had to make sure I did the stuff that had to get done first.
tourmaline82 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you me? Because that is exactly what I did as a kid, right down to binge reading Nancy Drew!
PoisonousPlatypus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just get an actual Kindle, it's so much better, my favourite is the paperwhite.
That's just over a book and a half per day, just saying.
Ashkela ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually have one, but it's a first gen and has decided that it doesn't connect to the internet anymore so it won't download books. I have a new one coming for preferred winter holiday, but in the mean time, this works just fine.
I went back and checked and I'm actually on the 29th book. That also includes surgery on 7/26 and not being able to actually pick up the phone again until at least 7/28 cuz omg Dilautid is awesome but you can't read on that shit. I average 700 wpm.
TizzleDirt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You read a lot. And I thought I was bad when I got into the Xanth series and went through a dozen of them real fast.
Ashkela ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read constantly. Waiting five minutes to leave? Read. Ride the bus/subway? Read. Use the bathroom in a place where I don't have to rush? Read. Food cooking in microwave? Read. TV show on commercial and I can't fast forward? Read. Opening credits to a movie at home? Read.
Pizza_Delivery_Dog ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 18:45:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can read in the car?! Are you God?
langlo94 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:51:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can't?
micro-sloth ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 18:56:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I get car sickness whenever I try
ilovetheganj ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:02:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same. Thankfully I didn't get it from my gameboy
micro-sloth ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:22:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gameboy did it for me as well sadly. Used to make myself sick trying to play super mario world in the car
cmckone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this was my earliest training for running through cramps in high school cross country
langlo94 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:02:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh wow, that must suck.
nikomo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:10:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get any kind of motion sickness. Car, train, plane, boat.
I'll admit I haven't tried space, but I'm waiting for Elon to hook me up or something, space travel is expensive.
Han_Can ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:06:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to until I started laying sideways during car trips as a kid. I'm 6 years older than my brother, so I was obviously bigger than him, and would stretch my legs out and wedge them in-between the driver seat and center console. He would rest his feet on my shins.
Now he's 6'5" and has to sit in the front seat because he doesn't fit and my 5'4" self gets the backseat to myself
langlo94 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:02:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh wow, that must suck.
xNexx_ ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:03:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh wow, that must suck.
BrodieTheWhale ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh wow, that must suck.
micro-sloth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:18:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but I find it easy to nap in cars, so I just do that
langlo94 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:25:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You lucky bastard.
aeiluindae ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:49:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Awww. Poor you. Reading was my favourite thing on long car rides. I made everyone else uncomfortable by reading on windy mountain roads and being perfectly comfortable.
The one time I remember getting car-sick was on a fucking straight highway. I must have eaten food that disagreed with me or something.
angry_badger32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The trick is to look at something fairly far away on the horizon for a minute or two when the car sickness hits you.
hiddenfalcon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do it all the time. Scares the everloving shit out of my passengers though.
Lipat97 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:30:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then it gets too late and you cant see the pages. Life before my reading light was hard
Johnny_Deppthcharge ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:34:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I became a master at angling my book in time with the street lights if we were driving when the sun set. Hard to do in full darkness but I could belt through a chapter or two before having to start watching my brother on the gameboy.
srdyuop ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:04:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lucky. I get really sick if I read in the car
westlyroots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:59 on August 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I get throw up point if I don't take anti motion sickness Meds AND wear sailor's wristbands...
Devodevo2002 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
heh, yeah, i just read reddit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
someone call CPS this person's mom left them in
a caran oven[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
CURSE YOU MOTION SICKNESS!
2D_n_2Deep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Best LPT ever
DoctorFrankz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always tell me to bring a book so I can do this. Don't think I've ever actually read them. A little ashamed.
Chicken_noodle_sui ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this all the time too! Now you're not allowed to leave your kids in the car for 5 minutes without being labeled a neglectful parent.
europahasicenotmice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be able to read in the car. Hell, I used to be able to do my math homework in the car. I don't know what changed, but forget about reading. Now I get carsick just digging around in my purse.
Nimajita ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I managed to make my mother promise not to run into ANY shop. At all. Except if they have asian junk food, then she'll have to get some. It may be rude but I'm sick of shopping for new boots for my sister.
MuddyWaterTeamster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lucky you. I never get motion sickness, except when I try to read a book while moving. Car, plane, dog sled, doesn't matter.
SN00P1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did she at least leave you the keys while you're in the car? Or crack the window open? My mom once left me in the car on a pretty warm day and said she'll be 2 minutes after we were coming back from our jobs (we car pooled together) and 30 minutes later she comes out and I have the door open (for some air) and I'm all sweaty in my nice work clothes. Never again mom!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeeep. I always had a book on me growing up (still do now, just on my phone). I was that kid that got on the big screen while at a national rugby game because I was sitting with my family who were all really into sport and were going nuts along with the crowd every time we got a try or conversion - and I was just sitting there reading Harry Potter.
Rainarrow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure it's illegal to read and drive
Sawses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom started letting me stay in the car when I started just following her around with my nose in a book.
tourmaline82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha yeah, I never left the house without a book when I was young for this exact reason. Errands were an opportunity to read if I had a book, torture if I didn't.
rubydrops ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know this sounds like an exaggeration, but one time, I actually finished a book when I was out with my mom. Start to finish. It was Harry Potter though, so I guess it wasn't a long read. Chamber of Secrets was one of my favorites.
I don't remember how long it was, only that every time she got in the car, she would say, "Oh and we need to stop by here too, there's a sale," and then off we'd go.
SpoopsThePalindrome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So what's the deal these days, is leaving a kid in the car on a hot day child abuse or something? Legitimately curious because I used to wait in the car all the time and just open the door or something if I got too hot.
[deleted] ยท 397 points ยท Posted at 16:48:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually kind of hate my mom for forcing me to wait around while she browsed for different yarn. She always did it right after my dentist appointments so I didnt have a choice.
tankpuss ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 17:04:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just drool on the yarn and you won't be allowed back.
Yarxing ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 17:09:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just burn down the store and go on a killing spree, you won't have to go to any store for years!
IAmTrident ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:42:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well that escalated quickly. From Down Syndrome to Serial Killer. Like Wow.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What about the prison commissary?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Genius
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:10:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isnt that literally what the other guy said
29100610478021 ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 17:16:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...that BITCH.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:50:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right?
NotTodaySatan1 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:10:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God, this kind of thing is how I know you lived in the country. In the country, if the yarn store is 15 minutes away, "better go while I'm over here." In the city, "it's only 15 minutes away, let's go twice a week!"
figuren9ne ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:48:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've always thought it was the opposite. When you live in the country or a rural area, everything is at least 15 minutes away so you don't mind the trip. In the city, if something is 15 minutes away, I probably have an alternative which is only a couple of minutes away so I'll go there instead.
NotTodaySatan1 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:33:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up in the country, and my parents still live there, but I've now moved on to the big city. My parents are always complaining about how a trip "into town" takes so long. It takes three minutes! You live 2 miles from the epicenter of the town! Whereas when they're in the city visiting, and I suggest a restaurant that takes 15 minutes to get to, which is not far factoring in city traffic, it's "gonna take all day to get there."
Also works with money. They paid $2 for a spinach salad the other day and complained about it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:32:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I lived in the deep parts of Wisconsin, so sort of country yeah.
runujhkj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The deep parts, where all the Wisconsan existentialists live
Javaed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the deadlands.
dickensher ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:16:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't know populated places could only be city or country.
NotTodaySatan1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, urban vs rural? What's your point?
dickensher ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:39:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Suburbs, small towns, sprawl, historical areas, truck stops, farmland, need I go on? Even "urban v. rural" hasn't existed for decades. So when you say that, I really don't know what you're trying to say. Are you saying urban folk are more frivolous with their time? Are country folk more prone to staying at home? I just don't get your black & white view of the world; that's all.
NotTodaySatan1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cities take longer to drive in, and it's quicker to get around when there's like two stoplights in your entire town.
Jaggedrain ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:19:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why not during your appointment? Ideal time imo, yarn+freedom from wailing child= heaven
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:30:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right?
Lampmonster1 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:44:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For me it was antiques. My parents loved stopping and browsing for hours at antique stores. I even remember exploring abandoned houses with my father just to see if there was anything neat in them. Hated it and this was long before you could browse your phone. Now though, shit I love old stuff. Flea markets, antique shops, whatever.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:46:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I wont say I have an appreciation for yarn these days, but I take my sweet time grocery shopping. Thankfully I dont force anyone to walk lazily aside me bored out of their mind while I do it though.
Javaed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never minded antique stores as there was usually cool stuff in the ones my parents took me to and the few times they were dull we'd leave quite quickly. It was going to the mall and shopping for clothing that was torture.
Sixray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought antique stores were neat because my dad would explain when old stuff was from and how it used to work back when he was a kid. (My dad is older)
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:11:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol I totally get it. Though I wouldn't say it's a reason to hate her.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:31:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, hate was a strong word to juxtapose with yarn trips.
AltairdeFiren ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:31:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think he legitimately hates her, just.. is extremely irritated about it. If he hates her, I'm sure there are a multitude of other reasons alongside this one.
Viperbunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I get it. Shopping with my mom sucked, but it happened often and no was not an acceptable answer. I don't hate her for it. If this guy's mom took a half hour to gather yarn supplies for a hobby and it was the only time she had to do it, it seemseems really petty to be so angry about. When you have kids yout can't always do what you want. By the time you get them to bed stores are closed and if they are not you have to have someone in the house with the kids in case of an emergency. It seems a small price to pay.
AltairdeFiren ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:18:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I completely agree. Gotta do what you gotta do, gas money isn't a joke and there's no sense in her making a trip back into town (for a lot of us who didn't live in town) to get things, if she even could by the time she was free to do so.
But in the other sense I can understand being a younger kid how fucking boring it would be to sit there and watch my mom pick out goddamn yarn. Can't fault him there. I'd just keep it to myself.
kajarago ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:15:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aww, man you say that now but either once you move out or move away or she passes away chances are you're going to look back fondly and recall that she just wanted to spend some time with you, even if it was just going to the store or browsing skeins of yarn.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:31:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I think that is most peoples experiences, but i havent seen her in years.
MathTheUsername ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of people are commenting that it's no big deal, but as someone with a total shit mom who did similar things, I understand where you're coming from.
And dentist appointments suck as a kid and an adult. Whenever I'm done with my appointment I just want to go home. I'd be pissed if I had to look at yarn after a filling or whatever.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I was usually numbed up by that point, so I basically had to endure what felt like an eternity of yarn browsing while half retarded.
bolthead88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yarn and fabric stores were the worst.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:33:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Do I get dark blue? or light blue? hmm...." for 30 minutes in a store meant specifically for things no 13 year old boy could ever care about.
hiphopapotamus1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you think its the source of your desire to tear shit down?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:50:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah thats from a song lyric I like. "Shortcuts and Dead Ends" by ยกMAYDAY!
"We were broke, but we ain't care, Ill pay rent, keep your share
Buy some books, buy some candy, don't you stress, big bro here
I just heard, on 103, theres some comp on MTV (Word?)
Hey Jess watch this Ima tear shit down, wait till' they get a load of me"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nauseous was definitely how fabric stores made me feel
looklikemonsters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother too is a lover of endless browsing, to which I would be forced into after dentist appointments. I had a lot of teeth pulled when I was young because my mouth was popular with teeth (crowding) and I vividly remember drooling in countless department stores. I kind of hate her for it as well.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom sews so I know exactly how you feel about going to the fabric store. Sorry mommy, but I do find it unbelievably boring to look at thirty different shades of blue then walk out with nothing because they didn't have the right green.
I'm sure I was just as pissed as the employees.
Fozzy_Fresh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sit in the car and listen to music with swear words. That's what I did to spite her
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was in a time before aux cords were in most cars.
Fozzy_Fresh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also before iPods and phones. That didn't stop me from packing a couple fire mixes on burnt cds with me when we went to the store
Edit: phones capable of playing media
Jogsta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You kids quit yet yappin! Your mother is buying your food - now you show some respect!
Alarid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got back at my mom with the dentist bill
i_love_yams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I fail to see the problem here
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didnt wanna go yarn shopping
i_love_yams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why? I'm confused
StabbyPants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh, and apparently, it's training for putting up with my wife, who will love the shit out of window treatments.
romania74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, my mom would always stop to eat at Subway after I had a dentist appointment
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did she atleast buy you some
ExtraCheesyPie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Attempt to hang yourself with it and tell her yarn gives you suicidal tendencies, little child. That'll make extended shopping stop right quick.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was 7 years ago but if it happens again I know what to do
kleinePfoten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ummmm... can your mom adopt me? I'll go yarn shopping with her!!
Benramin567 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like a really stupid thing to hate your mom for.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was hyperbole
McIgglyTuffMuffin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She was just making sure you didn't eat anything for the next hour and mess up all the stuff they did to your teeth, duh.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All they ever did was tighten braces.
kateohkatie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The secret is to buy your kid a little something for them on those trips, too. It's a win/win: either they take up the same interest/hobby and you have something new to share, or they don't care at all and you get that much more for yourself.
Of course, it can backfire - in a yarn shop last week I bought my 4yo son the yarn for a new sweater, and now every single moment I'm not engaged in housework he asks if I can make his sweater yet. At least he still wants one?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. My dad did it that way that if we accompanied him on a shopping trip he would buy us a soda or a snack.
Allikuja ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:25:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Love-your-suit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:01:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude I feel this guy with the yarn store, though. For my mother, in addition to craft stores, she also took me to book stores. I would sit for hours in a store I didn't give a fuck about that was like only 10 minutes away so she easily could have dropped me off at home or with my grandmother but instead she took me. And then, while I sat, miserable, and watched her buy hundreds of dollars worth of shit I knew she would never use and it would just be added to the piles of shit in her hoarder house, just to complain about being hungry and for her to snap at me that we don't have the money to snag nearby food. Or when we went to the grocery store and she would forego getting actual food for me in favor of TV dinners for herself and magazines, and when I realized there was nothing in the cart for me she acted like I was being impossible by requesting some sort of food I would enjoy. So I totally understand the whole yarn store issue and it probably is something bigger than just 'shitty yarn store'. It's the lack of respect for you as a person by forcing you to sit in a store you hate for hours, and in this person's case after the dentist so there was probably a bunch pain, stress, discomfort, and anxiety happening as well. It's the lack of consideration to allow you to go to a different store that you want to be in, or trying to cut their shit short. It sucks. It's total bullshit. And if I need something so bad I'll go in with a list of shit and find that exact item and leave. If I want to browse and enjoy my time I will just have to find someone to watch the babies. Maybe the husband can do it. Maybe I can pay someone. Doesn't matter, but if I really want to take my sweet ass time I should have the courtesy to my child to not force them to sit around for hours, uncomfortable, hungry, and bored.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry you went through that man
Allikuja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's fair. Definitely not a good mom. Sorry man
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:29:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Theres a lot more about my mom other than visits to the yarn store, but making sure I'm taken care of was not really at the top of her list of priorities.
Allikuja ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:41:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...that's literally exactly why I started off the second paragraph with "unless she was a bad mom"
Unless this is a username gag. I don't know anymore.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:43:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know, but I felt the need to respond anyway. Growing up with a mom like mine and trying to talk about it is chalk full of unprovoked advice from either guilty kids or insecure parents and what kind of treatment I owe to my mom. I'm not upset, and I don't blame you for saying that, but I felt the need to explain
Allikuja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's fair and I'm glad you did. It sucks that so many parents aren't better to their kids.
Lochifess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
2016, the year where you can't make comments without offending people.
minnabruna ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:34:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
You mean, after taking time to bring you to the dentist, wait for you at the dentist, pay for you at the dentist and take you home from the dentist, all to ensure you had good care, she stopped off to get something for herself on the way home?
You're right, how selfish of her! That is absolutely a sin worthy of hate. You shouldn't have to wait for her after she's spent so much time doing something for you. She should drive you straight home like a good personal assistant.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:38:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the same woman who ignored about half of my dentist appointments, including the one for getting my retainer which meant my teeth ended up getting crooked again, had no job, and never in the 18 years I knew her once cooked or helped clean clothes or the awful house that we lived in.
Yeah, I'd have preferred the drive straight home but thats just the first on the long list of complaints I have about that woman, and she was fairly selfish.
minnabruna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So your problem isn't yarn shopping. It's feeling uncared for in other areas.
Two very different things.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well yeah and sitting around in a store for an hour after every appt trying to ward off incoming thoughts of suicide.
Sonja_Blu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:42:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whatever, man. Your mom deserved her yarn time after paying for your dental appointment.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:44:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just never understood why I had to be there for the yarn time. It seemed pretty easy for her to go alone.
Viperbunny ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:46:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know it could be annoying, but as a counter point it sounds like your mom didn't have the time or ability to shop at a time that was convient for her. Having to wait a half hour for her to get supplies for a hobby isn't that big of a deal. Parents can't always go out when they want to and hobbies are usually a way to stay center and sane. If she only got to do this after things like a dentist appointment it seems silly you hold a grudge. I am sure she spent time doing things for you when she would have liked to do something else because you were more important to her.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:37:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Youd probably right for other people, and I cant expect you to know what my mom is like. But her life is nothing BUT free time
aithne1 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, she probably hated being forced to wait around during your dental appointments too. How old are you now? Hopefully almost at the age where you stop hating your mother for taking a few minutes to multitask on a trip.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:30:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No I hate my mother because shes a terrible person, but thats mostly unrelated to yarn store trips. Im 19.
MoldyCat ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:25:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then you get hit with "if this was a place you wanted to go we would not ne in a rush."
This is still a thing both my parents do. I just say "see you tomorrow."
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:26:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And she forgets one thing and leaves you to stand in line alone and doesn't come back until after you reached the checkout line having to tell people to go ahead
elementary_penguins ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:33:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to just take everything and get to the back of the line, no reason for everyone to suffer. Plus, when she got back she had to wait in line again.
Sonja_Blu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:41:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is me and my husband. When I was on bed rest after surgery for three months we had no groceries and he tried to convince me that the store had never had a sale. In three months. They literally have sales every day.
stygyan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:56:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What did you eat for those three months? Old socks?
Sonja_Blu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Take out and frozen food, mostly. I shop daily and cook a lot. I always buy meat on sale because it's too expensive otherwise, so I'm at the store every day seeing what's cheap. He never even looked, so we had no meat. I think he turned up once with a pack of pork belly for some reason and no idea what to do with it. That was the extent of the grocery shopping. But he took care of me while I was bedridden, so I shouldn't complain.
Javaed ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:57:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother would ask if either my brother or I wanted to go shopping with her. Of course we initially answered no, but after seeing how disappointed she was we just took turns after that.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:00:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Triggered.
MuscleBobBuffPant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:22:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
After all this you need to go to the bathroom. "CANT YOU WAIT UNTIL WE GET HOME?"
BurnedOut_ITGuy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:07:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hated this as a kid. Then I got old enough to drive and since my sister was younger than me I somehow was tasked with carting my sister around. My sister does the exact same freaking thing. There I am with my own car. My own hard-fought independence. No longer must I wait on my mother. Now I must spend my time waiting on my sister. And this is one of the many reasons why I will die alone.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You could just say no.
BurnedOut_ITGuy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:15:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not when it's your mom telling you to cart your sister around.
Gnivil ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:08:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just leave after the allotted time.
Arachne93 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:06:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am that mom. I am so that mom. But at least I'm honest about it.
whitefox00 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:55:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, I'm that Mom too. Can't speak for all Moms but I don't intentionally do it. It'll start with a quick run to the grocery store to pick up a couple things. Then it's "oh we're down to 1 roll of toilet paper - better get more" and "The kids want tacos tomorrow night - guess I better grab some shredded cheese too". Suddenly $200 worth of groceries.
Then a realization hits you that your oldest starts soccer practice this week and needs new cleats. Picture day is in 2 days and your youngest needs a haircut. Your middle child has a school project that requires shit you can only find at a Hobby Lobby/Michael's. And so it just snowballs to 3 hours of errands and cranky children.
Arachne93 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:22:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, all of it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
Arachne93 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:13:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, just confessing is getting me downvoted...
Honestly, it's because I make a list of shit we need. Then I go there, and it goes like this, "oh this chicken is on sale, ooh dinner tonight if I had some potatoes and some thyme...", so I roam all over the store. But, I make bomb ass food, and everyone is patient with my flakiness.
I'm honest, because it's been like this my kid's whole life, so if I say "wanna go to the store?" he knows exactly what he's getting into.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shit my wife says that to me. I feel sorry for our kids haha
TheVitoCorleone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait until one of your all's dad decides to go get cigs. You all in for a wait.
Benjadeath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Meh moms are humans too, I do this shit with steam sales. Oh look a game I've never seen before it's only 4 dollars omg better buy it, rinse and repeat 40 times over the next 3 hours aaand I have no money or time left :( guys I think I have a problem
Gnivil ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:08:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sure but you don't force your kid to sit with you and get annoyed with him when he asks if he can stop.
llDurbinll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is the same way! It got to the point where I just drop her off and come back an hour later to pick her up. It would always be "I just need x,y, and z" and then she ends up getting 20 other things and then complains about me rushing her in the store. Now I only have to hear her complain about not helping her get stuff.
Rockapp2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll be 5 minutes" - mom comes out 3 hours later "ILL LEAVE WHEN I WANT TO LEAVE DONT RUSH ME."
'I'll be 5 minutes!' - you come out 7 minutes later - "YOU SAID 5 MINUTES WHAT THE HELL TOOK YOU SO LONG"
calgil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mum wanted to hang out with you.
a57782 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It gets even more annoying when they can't drive and rely on you to do the driving. Recently she told me she just needed to get one thing from a store, ended up taking her to 3 or 4. The next day she tells me that she forgot one thing, ended up taking her to each of the stores that I took her to the day before.
I was not happy.
plastikspoon1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Moms of reddit, perk your ears - This type of baity / tricky bullshit is what makes your kids not want to hang out with you when they get older, in fear that "Oh, I'll just need your help for an hour" will most certainly turn into an entire evening of crap you never even mentioned.
StickitFlipit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol at these sheltered summer children, omg like my mom provides everything I could ever want and constantly does things to show she loves me but like sometimes I have to wait a few hours for it like wtf this is sooooo dumb.
[deleted] ยท 802 points ยท Posted at 16:38:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 364 points ยท Posted at 16:52:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This goat should totally be authorized.
ZadexResurrect ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 17:18:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course the new guy thinks so
ameya2693 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:52:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FNG, amirite?
18Feeler ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:46:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well I think Zadex probably should stay dead.
kennyl ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:15:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm.
Source: Am goat.
Yimms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Psh, look at this new guy
kenba2099 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:45:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"But you're not going to buy me anything? You said I'd I come with you I'd get something."
"I said nothing of the sort. I said if you don't come with me, I won't buy you anything. Boom, momyered."
Hyperman360 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my_mom_irl
quiltr ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:02:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do the same thing, as a mom, especially with regards to the grocery store. I hate grocery shopping, so when I go in, I get exactly what's on the list and get the hell out. If my kid wants junk food and snacks, he has to come with me and pick them out while I'm doing the regular shopping.
Iorith ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:30:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the exact way until I get to the beer isle.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:11:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I never tell the kids it will only be however long. I just say come with me or not but I won't bring you back anything if you stay."
Mothers. Best con artists out there.
Rockapp2 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:01:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The worst thing is really the parents who sit around and talk forever and see no issue with it, but when you make them wait its tragic. Perfect example is my mom was picking me up from my friends house, and says its time to go. While im getting my stuff together she starts chatting, and she keeps talking for about 30 minutes so instead of standing around i go sit down in my friends room and keep talking. She then said it was time to go again, and I try to finish my conversation with my friend quickly and then she calls for me again because 'she said it was time to go.' Like yeah, you said that 30 minutes ago too yet you didnt move so.
Horkpork ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:07:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, good old-fashioned bribery.
Will_Liferider ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:51:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's your motivation in asking your kids to come with you?
fuckface94 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:16:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My gma drags me a long so I can grab the heavy shit. Sister went shopping with aunts/ cousins my gma was like its okay you can come with me to do our own. Yeah it was a trip to sams clubs that involved a freaking flatbed cart. I had to push it, load and unload.
10takeWonder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the free samples though.....I totally worked for food as a youngster
fuckface94 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:28:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still accept food as payment at 22. Recently watched my sisters kids for a few hours for a case of icecream. 24 mini cups
10takeWonder ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 28 and recently watched my moms puppies for the day while she was out of town because I was promised lobster rolls when she got back. Only thing she brought back was more family members, none of which had lobsters...should've just taken the puppies lol
tourmaline82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
30something here, I'll totally go to Costco with Mom if she buys me lunch first. I have a parking placard, she wants me to come so she can park in a handicap space. Same goes for the mall.
Happy_Neko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Heck yeah! 30s here and I never pass up the opportunity for free food from the parental units. They can drag me all over town if they want, as long as I get lunch out of it! Actually, I enjoy spending time with them now shh... don't tell
[deleted] ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 16:55:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Humans love spending time with their offspring. Weird, huh?
Will_Liferider ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:12:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it might be that, but I wasn't sure. Moms can have ulterior motives sometimes. That's why I asked.
ThrowAwayAcct0000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If they're under 10, I'm pretty sure they have to come with you, legally.
ZweihanderMasterrace ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:40:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
will you be my mom :'(
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:15:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:12:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
hewhoreddits6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:52:35 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I don't think many of these commenters realize that moms are people too. Every morning I think "I can grab coffee real quick, it'll only take a few minutes", and then I end up late.
AintNoSunshine55 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:15:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So basically what you are saying is you have terrible time management skills.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:34:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:42:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
AintNoSunshine55 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:03:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's fair. I have a friend who cannot grasp the concept of be where you say will you be when you say you will be there. 5pm does not mean 530.
Bystronicman08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've just started leaving people like that behind. I can't stand chronic tardiness. Here and there? Sure, things happen. Eventide? Nope, not putting up with it. The best is when they call and ask where you are and you tell them you left without them and then they act shocked. Sorry, I said we were leaving at 1, we left at 1 and you got there around 2. Shouldn't expect someone to wait on you. Especially without even having the courtesy to call and let them know of you're going to be late. Those people make my blood boil.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And just like that, a comment goes from sexist nonsense to uninteresting observation. Amazing how easy it is.
TheIllustratedLaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Great mom Reddit name
OhioMegi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My sister used to complain that I always got new shoes or went to lunch. Well, it's because I would go with my mom!
DiddilyDumDum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I usually don't want the kids to come with (they are old enough for my son, 16, to watch my daughter, 6, and they get along great). It ends up taking waaaayy longer, and honestly, sometimes it's the only alone time I get during the day. But, as a parent, it's not exactly "nice" to tell your kid, "no, I don't want you to fucking come with and bug me"
Am a Mom
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:45:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
DiddilyDumDum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so glad you see it this way! Too many people don't, and try to make us feel guilty about it. My son gets it, and usually is great with helping out. I'd be lying if I said I didn't take advantage of this "alone time" once and a while. To sleep. Read. Get food, just for me. I'm still human, dammit!!! Not just a parent!!!
rodo1116 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Extortion!
Viperbunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. If it is just you sometimes the kids have to come along. God forbid you get errands done (it only matters if it is something they need to) or stop to get something to do with a hobby you have.
baabaablackjeep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not even a mom, but I get this shit from my mom AND SO, to the point where I'm constantly being rushed, hurried, nagged, cajoled, guilted and then all out screamed at (BPD mom) that I'm taking too long. Dude, do you WANT whatever it is I'm doing done RIGHT or done FAST?! (e.g. Standing in big orange store debating/buying materials and paint to repaint all the god awful colors in the house my parents just bought.) BUT THEY ALWAYS WANT TO GO OUT WHEN I SAY IM RUNNING ERRANDS!!!! (Especially mom!)
LoBsTeRfOrK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
EXTORTION!
HeartChees3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hooray!! When does this change?
My kids are 4. They beg to come along and I hate taking them because a quick trip for milk and eggs becomes an hour of various tantrums laced with "no I'm not buying you candy" and "don't touch the floor of the supermarket" and "don't put that gum in your mouth" and "where the heck did you get gum" and "stop poking your sister".
Then I forget the eggs.
Zoklett ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That and they don't want you to come into the store with them and they don't want to argue with you about how long it's going to take. She HOPES she'll be back in 5 minutes and saying 5 minutes will keep you from complaining until she gets far enough away she can't hear you. When she comes back an hour later, she'll deal with it then.
IveAlreadyWon ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 16:18:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She just didn't want to go by herself. She wanted company. My mom always bribed me with lunch. "We'll go to lunch if you go to 800000 places with me."
kennyl ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:05:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Lunch." 800000 places later, it's always past lunch time.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:21:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry son, lunch hour is over and no way am I paying an extra 2 dollars for the special. We will wait until your father comes home to eat dinner"
gypsy_remover ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:50:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i used to love running errands with my mom. I was the youngest of 4 sons in a big sports family where we were always running around, so any alone time I could have with her I would leap at the opportunity. I would smile when she asked if i wanted to go grocery shopping or to the mall because I knew it would be like a half day with her.
SamBoosa58 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:16:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude..... that's cute as hell.......
PM_ME_BOOB_PICTURES_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:07:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents are divorced and I lived with my father. I did not have these troubles during my childhood.
elhooper ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:18:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. My parents would call it "kidnapping" us. They would do it all the time for so many different reasons, it was a game to them. It was fuckin miserable for us.
thebuttpirater ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:40:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom still does this to me and I'm 22. She'll ask me if I wanna go get food and then after we're done eating she'll be like "I just need to pick up a few things at TJ Maxx" and then we'll be in TJ Maxx for like an hour. It absolutely infuriates me.
LifeOfTheUnparty ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:56:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom would do this with walks. "Oh, just a quick one around the neighborhood."
Yeah, sure, until she detours into the nearby golf course and turns it into a fucking hike.
unlawfulreasoning ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:09:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel my mother running into people she knew, and talking to them, is one of the reasons I can't stand most people and dont want to associate with anyone.
Skyopp ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:17:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What parents don't understand times passes by very slowly when you are younger. Waiting 20 minutes feels like hell, waiting 3 hours is just horrible.
JinDenver ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:56:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to me too. But as an adult, I get it. The number of times I've run out to just drop something off at Goodwill or pick up something from a pharmacy but during that process realized 3-4 other things I wanted to do and now it makes sense to do them...
derefr ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:44:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Sure, by myself I do that. If I'm out with my girlfriend (who is a novelist on a deadline), we do whatever I told her we were going to do according to the schedule I originally gave her, then ask if she needs to get back to work yet. If she does, I go drop her off at home, then turn around and go back out and do all the things I forgot to do.
I guess that only really makes sense if you live in town rather than hella out into an exurb, though.
Still, my point: your time is your time to decide how to spend; someone else's time should be theirs to decide how to spend. Even a kid's time! I mean, they don't get to decide not to go to school; but I'd sure be cheesed if my parents had "scheduled" my entire summer vacations for me back then. Kids are expecting and hoping to use that time to get into all the hobby/passion projects they didn't have time or energy for during school. (I know it doesn't look like that's what they're doing, but it really does get done in amongst all the laying around watching TV and complaining about being bored. They have to psych themselves into it, sort of.)
thedjotaku ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:03:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you my brother?
Actionmaths ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:12:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How fucking dare she.
RhynoD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:40:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 28 and my mother still does this to me. "Want to go to the movies with us?"
Sure. Movie is over:
"I just need to stop by Wal-Mart really quick while we're out..."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:47:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is deceptive, but at least it's not like something terrible like being beat with jumper cables.
thundertool ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've stopped going to the grocery store with my mom when we visit. She's incapable of going for less than 4 hours. She and my sister are terrible. They have to go down EVERY single aisle.
Badgerisbest ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:01:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still get small panic attacks walking into giant mall shopping centers....
Especially with clothes.
the clothes to the dressing room keep coming... They never stop, more and more! You finish but then even more Jerry! IT NEVER STOPS
abigscaryhobo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:20:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I straight up stopped going shopping with my mom because of it. She would need groceries and I would go on my own or let her know what I needed. I know part of it was just getting out of the house, but she took hours when she knew I had plans.
Wearethegears ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:21:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought my mom did that, until I got just a little bit older and I realized something. That she hated going out just as much as I hated being there. There was just always more shit she had to do that we both begrudgingly went to
party_atthemoontower ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:36:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom still does this to me and I'm a grown ass woman. She gets all pissy when I tell her no.
Kiyoko504 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:19:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh and if you ask for a toy, its "No" like "the fuck"you drag me out here on the idea that its just to get milk and no new toy to make up for the lies
Aarondhp24 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:22:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's just their way of getting us to "chill" together. I had a really bad drug experience out in California that triggered a super lucid dream of my family dying. I woke up convinced my mother had passed away, in a violent and gruesome way.
I am still coping with my Mother's mortality even now. Whenever she wants to go pull weeds in the garden, or do cross word puzzles after dinner, I do it.
I don't think she understands how woefully unprepared I am for her to die, and how scared I am of that day. Sorry, didn't mean to get all deep on ya. I'm just thankful my Mom is still around to do this to me haha.
Sir_Thaddeus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:03:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 18 and my mom still does this to me. "Oh save your gas, we'll go to the store together" "well I need to go to the blank and the pharmacy and to stop by my job real quick" Aggh
Mobileacc99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:22:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would negotiate. I'm not coming unless we grab something to eat or unless she leaves me at chapters or gets me shoes. If she said sure, I knew it was going to take a while. If she said no, it meant she actually intended to be quick and I could make an choice based on that.
Jah_Ith_Ber ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:30:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Parents do shit to their kids that would unequivocally unacceptable to do to another adult. My mom would take me on these goddamn four hour errand runs, smoke cigarettes in the truck the entire time, if my sister was with us I had to sit in the middle of the bench seat with her ashtray directly under my legs, (I would find the back of my knees caked in ashes from time to time.), then she would decide to stop at her friends house where I would have to sit there for two hours and stare at the wall pretending to not exist while they chain smoked. That entire house smelled like a wood stove, she knew I hated it because I told her every single time.
adamorn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:40:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife does this to me all the time... Goddamit, she'd make a good mom
Jonthrei ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:10:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fairly certain this kind of bullshit is why I still loathe shopping.
Graveweaver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:17:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom did this shit to me too. Except when I was a kid she'd leave my brother and me in the car in the boiling californian sun for hours while she was in costco, and when we'd open the door because we felt like we were going to die the alarm would obv go off and she'd come out and scold us for not staying in the car.... Thanks mom, glad you weren't worried about the potential heat stroke
Stickyjargon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:09:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck them
NotAnSmartMan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:08:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then those words never failed to slightly hit the air
"you fucking bitch"
komali_2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:55:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't get so down - she only invited you because she liked having your company for the trips.
Bystronicman08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't make it any less annoying.
BallsDeepInShiva ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:48:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe we should think about some of these "lies" from mom's perspective. I bet she loved running errands. And cooking nice meals all the time! And being a taxi service!! And laundry and cleaning bathrooms and loud, annoying kids everyday!!!
I think you were joking a little and I am to (: I just thought a lot of the responses here seemed pretty unappreciative. Love your momma's up ya'll!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're the silly one who kept going.
KansasBurri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never had a problem going on errands, I had a problem going to the store then finding out we also had to go get gas, get paint from the hardware store, then run by the bank. If she would have just told me we were going to be doing all of those things I would have been fine, its the surprise element that annoyed me.
SammichNow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget when your items are getting scanned she runs off for a few minutes just to keep it exciting
yabacam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funny, I LOVED going shopping with my mother, especially when it was just her and I. I have 4 sisters so it was nice to get away from them. PLUS she'd get me a treat if I was good.
DrunkenGolfer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom did this and never came back.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:18:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Wanna go to the mall and get lunch?" Doesn't mention the seven errands, two store returns and the full week's grocery store trip that will eat up one of my last summer days left circa 1997
derefr ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:40:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder how many kids would say yes if mom just shot from the hip with "want to keep me company as I run around town today?"
I bet it'd be less than go along with the trick, but I also imagine the ones that came along wouldn't mind nearly as much, being put in the right frame of mind.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Very true, it occurs to me now at age 34 that she just wanted someone to go with her, to spend time with me and have me keep her company and probably knew I would say no way if I knew how much was going to be involved. I feel bad for feeling irritated about it in hindsight.
c0d3s1ing3r ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:34:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't be, you were still manipulated.
AH_MLP ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:30:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah think of all the Nintendo and Pogs you missed out on. Must have messed you up pretty bad huh? You alright man?
Fiddling_Jesus ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:33:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then at checkout time she forgot something so you have to wait in line and it's almost your turn and she's still not back. "Please no."
thisisnewt ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:52:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, the friend run-in. I remember when I stayed home from school one day and my mom took me on her usual routine. That's when I realized that "I run errands all day" actually meant "I run about 2 errands and spend 6 hours chatting to acquaintances".
infinitezero8 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:32:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"oh.. do you mind if we take a look at some houses?"
"That was not the arrangement mom.."
"What if we stopped at blockbuster"
"That would satisy me"
Fucking hours later
"Thanks mom.. BB is closed"
"Sorry! We'll go tomorrow, promise!"
"ugh fine.."
Tomorrow
"Listen honey, I know I said I would take you but I have to meet up with some friends, it's urgent"
"I will remember this.."
Iorith ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:32:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure this is why nursing homes are still in business.
Samsantics1 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:28:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I call that "Mission Creep"
xblindguardianx ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:14:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy crap. Spot on
boohissouch ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:16:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We call them secret errands in my family. Always have to ask how many secret errands are included in the one seemingly simple errand.
tical2399 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:53:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You could replace mom with wife and it would be just as accurate.
petgreg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:36:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And if for five seconds this trip benefits me in the slightest way, she becomes the martyr who wasted her whole day for me.
burntsalmon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:41:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Must be nice to have friends.
Racionalus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
8 year old me didn't have time for that bs. I had things to do!
79Blazer4x4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:18:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then when she finally gets to the grocery store to get milk she takes another hour deciding what kind of milk to get.
tdub2112 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:44:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I stopped running errands with my mom. I don't want to sit in the car for three hours, I want to play video games for three hours!
grisioco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was my college girlfriend. "Running up to wal mart" always turned into going to the bank, dropping something off at a friends house, and then spending an hour at wal mart.
danceswithwool ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife still does this to me. Drives me bonkers.
janerowdy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:17:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Talking to a friend "I'll be home soon, we're just gonna get some milk, then we can play" ... 3 hours later ...
Pm_me_redhead_gurls ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I swear to God my mom knows every person in my hometown in some way. Couldn't go anywhere without her stopping to chat with a friend for 10 minutes.
Jill-Sanwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I went to high school in a small town with 2 places you could shop for groceries without having to drive into the city. My mom worked at one of those stores, and it happened to be the closest one to our house, so grocery shopping meant stopping and talking to literally everyone. To be fair this did get kinda fun when I was 16/17 though since a lot of the girls who were mean to be had parents who worked at the store which meant I heard a loooot of juice on their parents drugs, cheating scandals, general douchebaggerry, and occassional secrets on the kids, too. Never did anything with the information because I'm not an anus but it was satisfying.
Pm_me_redhead_gurls ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:57:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's always nice to have that in the back of your head when they talk shit. You don't even need to reply and you feel like you won.
Jill-Sanwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. Like okay make fun of me for being in theater but at least my mom didn't catch my brother having sex with a dude.
Pm_me_redhead_gurls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:53:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's when that chuckle comes out. That "bitch, I could fuck your world up right now but I won't because you can't handle it" chuckle.
FolsomPrisonHues ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:13:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom INTENDED to only be a few minutes, it was everyone who she "bumped into" that delayed her.
rodinj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You just described my dad
S_Y_N_T_H ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn right.
HotpotatotomatoStew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And this is why I always happened to be sick when my mom had to go grocery shopping.
tralphaz43 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was a courtesy to ask you were supposed to say no
TonyDanzer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe I was weird but I used to love this as a kid. I liked getting out of the house for little "adventures" like that and I usually got candy out of the deal so it wasn't half bad
the_CA_speedball ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When we were at my grandparent's house, my mom would always pull the "kids, get out of the pool! We're leaving." Get out of the pool, dry off, go inside, and then sit on the couch for 20 minutes while Mom talks.
Every. Single. Time.
JPAchilles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always got away from coming with her by telling her she would do exactly this. Lo and behold, she actually only gets milk, because we were too poor to actually go full on shopping.
matrixreloaded ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit so true.
When I was young this shit pissed me off, now I try not to mind as much because I think my mom just wants to hang out with me. And that's cool.
greeneggsnhammy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when my mom told me she was "going to go get some milk from the store really quick." I haven't seen her since.
real-dreamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least your mom has friends.
arenalr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just realized this isn't only my mother that does this. Whenever she says wanna come? I always went along, because if I wasn't there the 1.5 hours would have always turned into 3 hours
Torcal4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And proceeds to completely forget about the milk
BlackHeart89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And that's why to this day, I have very little desire to hang out with my mom. She did that shit all the time when I was a kid. Im not mad, but I think it had a negative impact on me subconsciously.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well with Pokemon go being so popular that it is, I don't think this will be a problem anymore :P
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always lures me in with "lunch and a quick trip to the store" what she doesn't tell me is the store is Costco.
TheCodexx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Well I can't not talk with them! That would be rude!"
Jill-Sanwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Which is especially rich because half the people she runs into she doesn't really even like and will spend the ride home talking crap about them.
Legodude293 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Milk you mean the entire stock of the store
RenanMMz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking sidequests
tlivingd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ugg my wife does this now
AdmAkbar_2016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back when cars all had vinyl seats, no A/C and many had only AM radio.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My family called these "football minutes." It says a minute on the clock, but you know it's going to take 15 to play through.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am grown and my mother still does this. (I know, I still go out to places with my mother because she is not married any more and lonely) At least now when she stops to talk to that friend I can just keep walking.
drakoman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend does this constantly. "Want to get lunch?" Then we go to five different stores.
SkyWest1218 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then she forgets the one thing you ask her for from the store.
wyvernwy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom did this to a friend. She picked us up at school, an easy 15 minute walk from home for both of us, and made us ride with her while she ran errands in another county, taking hours. I was mortified.
Suihaki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife does this. I now ask specifically, before I answer if I'll go, if there are any other stops we are making or if there are any other plans besides just going to this one store for just this.
Hate that shit.
aletoledo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife does that to our kids all the time.
Crunchy_banana_Cake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can guarantee you that when you were a whiney little toddler, you took forever to learn to pee in the potty, you tried every single way but the one that works to put a jacket on and you took exactly a million years to chew your goddamn food at every single meal. Your mom earned herself some grocery store time.
Jill-Sanwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well considering my older sister potty trained me and my mom wasn't present in my life until I was 5, I'm gonna go with a no on that. But on behalf of everyone who did have a very present and loving, potty-training, jacket-putting-onning mother: it was a joke. It's funny because everyone remembers being an impatient child out running errands with mom. It's funny because it's relateable and a common trait in parents. No one is saying that spending time shopping makes you a bad mom. But just like parents complain about how difficult having a toddler is, their children complain about errand running. That's good stuff though, I'm going to remember that next time someone says something funny about the trials of raising a toddler. I'm gonna follow a "My kid keeps missing the toilet" post with "Oh yeah well someday they're gonna be really pissed about going grocery shopping with you!"
Xvexe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only one friend? My mom seems to know every god damn person on the face of the planet for some reason.
Overwelm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then they get upset later in life when you don't want to go grocery shopping with her because "why do I always have to get groceries by myself??"
Dorminder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But it's all just an excuse to sirens time with her child.
rngtrtl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my wife (then GF) tried to pull this shit on me...Once...I dont appreciate being lied to and gave her a heads up no more of that shit. Never happened again on purpose.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's worse when your mom runs a very popular local Facebook group and gets recognized every, single, time we go to Publix.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum's disabled so I often still go out with her. She does this all the time, and it wears my sanity down I swear. This one time she got me to carry this large ass box all the way to the shop to return (after I carried it to the car, then to home after last time) before she realised she left the reciept at home. Walk back to the car with it, take her back home, get the reciept - oh wait! I forgot I need to write a letter to so and so, let me quickly do that. 20 minutes later we're searching for the stamps for about 10 minutes until I said I'll just go buy some more
Half way through carrying it back she told me she needs to go to the dry cleaners - so I sighed. So she just says "okay, forget it, just take me back home" and refuses to let me take it back. That day was just the classic example of this.
Sorry, you just got my daily wall - I always write one after firing up a bowl.
Viperbunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom will do this and not stop for food. I used to get so sick ecause I would be walking around with no breakfast and it is 3pm and we are still out. As I kid I was helpless. Now I have two young kids so if we go out I tell her we either have to stop first or I will stop everything and get my kids food. When you are hypoglycemia and have not had food and water all day it is a problem. The lack of water was probably the bigger factor. Those stores can get really fucking stuffy. I take snacks and drinks if I go anywhere with her so I can make sure the kids get a break when they need it.
a-r-c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
to be fair, everything seems like it takes FOREVER when you're a kid and the hours just melt away as an adult
so an hour long trip to the supermarket is a small errand to mom and a loathsome eternity to little timmy
Jaerba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then she wonders why you prefer shopping with dad, when it takes 30 minutes and you get more junk food out of it.
hokie_high ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Now we need to stop at Costco just to finish up with the groceries real quick, then we'll go home and you can play your new video game."
And I always outgrew the target age for the game by the time we left the store.
mrsuns10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This always happens like do they plan this?
YellowPudding ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend does this. I can only assume that I'm dating your mom.
InfiniteVergil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not my mum, that's my gf lol
KingKicker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ya my dad said the same thing to me once.
Except he didn't offer me to come.
And it wasn't 5 mins.
It's been 7 years now since I've last saw him
Fosheasy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always did this and promised a mcdonalds stop in there too. Just never told me mcdonalds was the last fucking stop. Now my fiance fucking does this to me and she thinks its cute when i get frustrated by it.
akiyuki89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My aunt did this to me all the time.
"Hey I'm running to JC Penny's come with me! It won't take too long" Here's the list.
Walgreens on the way to the mall.
JC Pennys at the mall.
Macys
Sears
Payless
various other stores
Leave mall
Costco
Walmart
Publix
a different walgreens
Get home and ask why I'm mad at her.
annoyedbutthole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But when Dad does it you literally only go get milk, and usually a candy bar too.
Rudeus_POE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Future moms of reddit , take note , i spent so much time waiting for my mom :/ .
OwenLincolnFratter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You just triggered nightmares for me. Ages 10-18 this was me and then I finally was able to get out of going.
illithoid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is like the definition of my Dadโฆ
pfp-disciple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife does this to me. Drives me absolutely batty.
Finetales ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Story of my life, except replace "wanna come?" with "let's go."
There was no choice in the matter.
I dreaded going to the store for that reason, and as I got older and more independent I realized that that's how it was always going to be. My mom retaliated by being honest up front about exactly where we would be going and why she needed me to come along...and then not actually needing me for anything. Alternatively, by high school, "hey, I'll treat you to lunch" or "want to go to the hobby store?" Of course I couldn't say no to free food or free perusal of model trains, so I said yes. Then walking out of the restaurant getting into the car to go home, "oh yeah, I just have to stop by the grocery store real quick." Here we goooooooooooo...
Jill-Sanwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes and if you ever complained you'd get hit with "I even took you out to lunch and you have the nerve...". If my mom ever let me go to a hobby store or check out something I wad interested she would always rush me, too.
Finetales ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, if I'm left alone in a hobby store I'll be there for 3 hours.
hallipeno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad did this all of the time. My brother and I learned to set the errand terms before we left so we'd have the same understanding of what to expect.
Books and Gameboys weren't allowed.
PM_UR_CROSS-STITCHES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, this one hits home. My parents would always ask me if I wanted to run errands with them, but I was always afraid to say no so I would always end up running around town for hours on end. Then when I actually manage to work up the courage to say that I'm in the middle of something, I always got hit with a massive shitstorm about how I was wasting away my life on the computer and needed to get out more. Well guess what Mom, if it's a choice between sitting in a chair for five hours while you do hair, and sitting in a chair for five hours doing something I actually enjoy, I'm gonna chose to have fun.
Jill-Sanwich ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in the dark days before DVR this was the worst for me. I'd stop watching a show to go somewhere "really quick" and just miss the whole thing to do something boring.
wordfiend99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
thats why when i was a kid i would rather wait in the car til she got back and my mom would be like ok but just to be safe we better roll up the windows and lock these doors. try getting away with that these days
Incompatibert ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wives too.
bikey_bike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I liked running errands with my mom! I thought it was a fun adventure.
moration ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do that to my kids. They even as to be dropped back at home.
DMercenary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then they have to stop real quick into the nearest mall to check if they have her size.
5 hours later, you're starving and she's still going full steam with no end in sight.
Jill-Sanwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to get in trouble for asking if we could stop and eat somewhere because according to my mom just because we were around restaraunts didn't mean we had to eat there and I needed more self-control.
DMercenary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then when you get home she's mad and cranky because surprise surprise she's hungry.
say592 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother in law still does this to my wife and I. I make it a point to never ride in her car, because if I do, chances are she is going to want to stop off and pay her credit card balance, pickup a new pair of shoes across town, buy dog food, then maybe we can all go out to dinner like she promised three hours ago.
snakeeyes91214 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to take me and my sisters to TJ Max while she shopped. I remember it being sunny when we walked in and we always left several hours later in the night. I hate TJ Max
Jill-Sanwich ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:24:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine used to do the same thing, which was especially annoying because half the time she didn't even buy anything.
JayTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least she came back.
RoCon52 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
!!!!
cantgetenoughsushi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously how does moms keep running into friends EVERYWHERE
La_Diablita_Blanca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do this all the time and I don't feel even a smidgen of guilt. It's sometimes the only way I can get my 6 yr old on his own, away from video games or toys or other distractions and actually talk with him. NO RAGRETS.
samtherat6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but it's still an opportunity to spend time with your mother. I should've gone with her, even though I knew she was lying, and now I just miss her.
comfy_socks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I loved going on errands with my mom when I was a kid. I knew if I was good, we'd get lunch at McDonald's.
-del2phi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Errands" was my most hated word back in the day.
brokensky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Great, Mom! It fills me with joy to watch you shop for clothes!"
SketchyConcierge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhhh my god
RollingandJabbing ยท 2221 points ยท Posted at 14:33:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll only be 5 minutes" as my mum walks in to a shop, and meets every single person she has ever known in there leaving me in the car for what felt like an eternity.
I now believe 5 minutes in Mum time equates to about 30 minutes in actual human time
Filthy_Prank ยท 1184 points ยท Posted at 14:55:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
30 minutes?! You lucky bastard
HungJurror ยท 1048 points ยท Posted at 15:11:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
waiting on mom like
Fart__ ยท 468 points ยท Posted at 15:44:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hung like a horse
mstrhakr ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 16:42:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This comment made that link a little sketchy.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:42:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Risky click of the day...
kenba2099 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:47:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In a world of secrets, in a world of sound
Giggybyte ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:31:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
no more sleepy dreaming
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Slayerettaaa ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Arms broken you say? Oh dear!
BombaFett ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 16:46:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Horse just hanging there like it's happened before and he's used to it
haloryder ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:10:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dammit Fred you overloaded the cart again."
Jaskre ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:18:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Poor horse :(
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:02:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The horse is so... calm about it.
๐๏ธ cant_even_such_wow ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 15:21:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
BEST GIF EVER. surprisingly accurate
HungJurror ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:25:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's one of my favorites, and it fits perfectly
serventofgaben ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
username checks out.
Stalfosed ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:33:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How did they get the horse down? And can the horse even pull that much? Questions questions questions!
HungJurror ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:34:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol sorry, not OC
Stalfosed ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:36:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol i figured that. Still, the questions remain!
Cobayo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:17:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Remove some weight...
Stalfosed ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:17:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But then you have to make a return trip.
Cobayo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:26:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Buy an elephant
Stalfosed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You must be fun at parties.
Cobayo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought you were going to ask how will they then get the elephant down
Stalfosed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They're gonna need a bigger cart before I can ask that question.
Mike377774774 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually laughed out out ahah
LazyTheSloth ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:27:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aww that poor horse. It looks back like. You gonna do something about this? No. Ok.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:50:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/JeimE8Wz6e4
1man_factory ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:15:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Todd? Toooodd? I need help!
TheTyke ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:40:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh God, I hope the Horse was ok. Poor thing. Shouldn't be making them work.
DdCno1 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:20:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's why they are bred. Not every farmer in the world can afford a tractor.
TheTyke ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 19:58:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't agree with making animals work. Could make the exact same argument you made with slaves. Various farmers make do without animals or machinery, especially in India etc.
DdCno1 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:04:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Using animals for work and as companions is an intrinsically human behavior, unlike slavery. Every human society on Earth has used animals and they are vital to the livelihood of a significant part of humanity. This was not the case with slavery, not to mention it being entirely different from using other less sentient species.
Citing farmers who are too poor to be able to afford animals or machines as a counter point is at best highly dishonest. It's not like they are doing well.
TheTyke ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 20:13:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How is slavery not an intrinsic human behaviour lol? It's been prevalent throughout all of human history and only very, very recently has it been abolished (mostly).
Also, what on Earth is a "less sentient" species? Not only do you need to learn the difference between sentient and sapient, but you need to realise they're not less of either.
The Jains and many other Dharma religions spring to mind when it comes to not using animals.
KingGenocide80 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:28:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually slavery would probably be cheaper because Animals tend to be better taken care of than slaves, and slaves are easier to replace than a good horse/cow/elephant.
TheTyke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:36:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Animals tend to be better taken care of than slaves"
They're not. At all. It's just a lot of people are ignorant or turn a blind eye towards mistreatment and over-working of animals. We're just more aware of our behaviour and actions towards humans than animals.
Salsadips ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:31:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a vegetarian then?
TheTyke ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:31:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Vegan.
2drawnonward5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:22:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's just what she really meant. Then it really took 15 minutes, or 1.5 hours in realtime.
PleiadesSeal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:18:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Still better than Microsoft minutes...
746865626c617a ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:43:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SSDs and running the vm with a write back cache and having the ISO pre loaded into ram is fun
[deleted] ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 14:57:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
MarcelRED147 ยท 109 points ยท Posted at 15:04:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Humans can crack their own windows. Mostly.
lightofmoon ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:41:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not in cars with power windows, without a key present.
caffeine_lights ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:56:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is probably why you're not allowed to leave kids in the car these days. That and health and safety. And peeeeeeeeeeeedos.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:07:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
I-Downloaded-a-Car ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:27:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am I the only one who still prefers a crank though? I mean you can always roll the windows up or down even if the door is open and the car is off, they never break, and it's just satisfying to give the window a good crank
beepbeepitsajeep ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:05:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but you downloaded them that way.
I prefer cranks as well, that's what my jeep has. Hell, I don't even have power locks.
Erock482 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have yet to own a vehicle with power windows or doors, or an automatic transmission yet. Currently on number 2
Cletus101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine has a "cassette player" whatever that is!
Erock482 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:02:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Both of mine have! And the nifty cassette Aux cord thing
clarencethebeast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:20:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should probably get some doors, you know, for insurance and that.
Erock482 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:35:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, I like to feel the frigid winter air as it makes me regret going 55 down a highway covered in 5 inches of fresh snow when it's 5 below
clarencethebeast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You sure do like 5's /u/Errock482
Erock482 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Especially high ones! Err, fives, you know what I mean
beepbeepitsajeep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't either, I'm on number 4, all of mine have been fairly long lived. 1977 CJ7, 1995 S10, 1998 ford ranger, 2005 Jeep Wrangler. The CJ lasted through the rest of the vehicles, I had it up until about 6 months ago when it was stolen and totaled, it was obviously my baby and my favorite. The newer jeep suffices for now, but I had both of them at the same time. Hell, my CJ had zip up windows, no radio, AC, and lap belts and no head rests. And it was my favorite even still.
Erock482 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My next vehicle I've decided will probably be a wrangler, currently 2002 Ranger, previous was a 1997 Nissan Pickup
LazyTheSloth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really I went to roll up a crank window in a friends car, and it shattered inside the door. Also went to roll the window down in my dad's old car and it stuck.
Lomanman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've mastered driving from my passenger seat to roll the window.
beepbeepitsajeep ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:04:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You've not been looking. Even brand new cars can still have crank Windows. As well as how many old cars are still on the road. I have and prefer crank Windows, I don't even have power door locks, I drive a 2005 for context.
Shayde505 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My work truck has one!
youre_a_burrito_bud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not if mom forgets to leave the keys and the car alarm starts going off when you try to roll them down. This then alters the child's perceived time. So mom may say "5 min," it may only be 30 min total, but it feels like an hour at least.
fmmmlee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
crack
...
"Son, why is the window broken?"
PhyberLogik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unless the car has power windows and mom took her keys with her.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can smoke my own crack
FireEagleSix ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:00:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lets not go down this rabbit hole.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom bought me Wendys once and told me to sit in the car while she goes into Macys for a bit. It was summer and she told me she would be in and out, 5 minutes. I spent an hour in the heating car waiting for her to come back before going in to find her myself. Oh yeah, forgot to mention that the windows were rolled all the way up, so I got a free tan.
Tupnado21 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:37:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
to be fair, when I tell my wife I am only going to be five minutes taking a dump I reddit for at least 20 minutes. No one can shitpost that quick, get real.
RollingandJabbing ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:41:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A man's dump takes exactly the correct amount of time every time, especially while shitfaced or shitposting.
lazyFer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:51:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
siegewolf ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:11:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd just start causing trouble until she either left or did her shit quickly. I was normally an easy kid, but you don't need to stare at the same dress for 2 hours.
wbotis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:02:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL: moms run on Dragon Ball Z time. "I don't know much about planets, but if I had to venture a guess, I'd say this one has about five minutes."
An_Azelf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:05:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
she's working on valve time
Blaze_fox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
checks watch nope.
30 hours
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to ask if she ist talking about 'children time' or 'adult time' :D First would really be 5 minutes and latter... you know, up to eternity
GunsGermsAndSteel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or three seconds. As in "you have five minutes to clean your room".
abefroman78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am mom. ...can confirm
kaywhaaat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pfft still better than dealer time
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mum's run on drug dealer time
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Growing up it was a hard learning curve to understand 30 minutes and 2 hours meant the same thing but different.
PhyberLogik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
30 minutes? I vividly remember one time my mother telling me she was going to be "just a few minutes" and I ended up waiting in the car for 4 hours, then she couldn't understand why I was so upset. This was before everyone had a cellphone so I didn't even have anything to keep me occupied.
fearmypoot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Drug dealer time works almost the same way.
supersonicmike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is why i always hated family reunions. Family is awesome, but when weve been socializing for the past 6 to 7 hours then its a little much to take 15 mins saying goog bye when its time to go
dexie_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Honey, I am going to the store, it will take only 5 minutes! Please, stir the soup every 30 minutes."
HBlight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing worse than realising your mom just bumped into a friend. Fuck that is a horrible hostage situation. In hindsight, they are probably starved for adult socialisation, so while understandable, it does little to stop the horrid boredom myself and my siblings experienced.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in the opposite direction. I tell them that I'll be there 5 minutes after I'm going to be there... just habits from work I guess.
Kiyoko504 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its why they're are some tough laws against leaving children in the car.
cumblebee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My equation for mom time was always 3x whatever she said
Quw10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And that is why whenever my stepmom wanted me to go somewhere with her I'd bring a book/gameboy, or whatever I could use to keep me entertained in the car even if we were supposed to just go 1 place.
huzaifa96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No...I think this is just irresponsiblly shitty parenting.
MusicalCereal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
except for when she is waiting on you and then 1 mintue = about 30 seconds
CIearMind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mum is going to train for 4 months and fight blue haired gods.
-del2phi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How about when she comes to pick you up at a friends house, tells you to come downstairs NOW because "we have to go run errands on the way home." Then she proceeds to chat with your friends mom for 20 minutes while you wait with your friend by the door. And every time you'd try to go back upstairs to play, she'd shoo you back because "we're really going in just a minute."
This didn't dredge up old memories or anything...
Drassielle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Literally waiting in my car in a QuikTrip parking lot right now for my mom to buy a bottle of water. It's been 25 minutes. Thank god for cell phones.
Igotbutterfingers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure this is in general a female thing. My ex always told me she'd be ready in a couple minutes. Nope, after a half hour I'd still be sitting in the kitchen while she's getting ready.
BlueAndDog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad used to be a cop in my hometown and every time we go somewhere we run into someone he knew.
My mom doesn't like going places with him.
ryanx27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:51:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/raisedbyextroverts
pitchingataint ยท 2569 points ยท Posted at 16:17:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey mom can you pick me up from practice. We just finished."
"Okay. I can be there in 5 minutes."
45 minutes later
Coach locks up the field
"Hey. Do you need a ride home?"
"...yes."
:(
krabstarr ยท 327 points ยท Posted at 17:10:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then your mom comes to pick you up and you aren't there.
[deleted] ยท 486 points ยท Posted at 17:16:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then you get in a shitload of trouble and/or have the shit beat out of you for making her wait or waste her time for you.
[deleted] ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 18:33:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
dspman11 ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 19:02:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HE'S NEVER COMING BACK
SimonRoger10 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:02:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I miss him a lot
Relaxel ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:19:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just like harambe.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:16:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Mexican so it was with a chancla or huarache. Or a hanger. Or a thick ass belt.
whisperscream ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:25:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh God. Korean mom here. The hanger. shivers Another favorite is the spatula. Good times.
Redici ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:10:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom loved to use her wooden spoons when we fucked up, except the time one of them broke, she decided to upgrade to metal spatula
whisperscream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel your pain. :(
TofuDeliveryBoy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:22:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Vietnamese here. For me it was the 2 foot long chopstick used for making big batches of noodles.
Nate16 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:37:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shit! That's a bo staff!
iAmTheFreshPrince ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:46:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Always remember :(
thatguyinthemirror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:20 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Chinese here. Was chased with a cleaver for missing out a page in a math exam. For the record i still scored 85 out of 100. She was just mad that i missed out a page. Good times good times.
OldSolidScrake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh hangers, jesus fuck.
kjacka19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta love the big, ole, paddle.
SuperCrusader ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:55:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Missing that guy,looks like Dad killed him with jumper cables :'(
CIearMind ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:06:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, he saw Suicide Squad last week.
SuperCrusader ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:27:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He probably killed himself with jumper cables after watching it
x_JUMPER_CABLE_MOM_x ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:02:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
stop talking about my husband will ya
PoisonMind ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 17:17:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/raisedbynarcissists
Odnahc ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:23:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Fuck I'm having flashbacks.
justyourbarber ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:30:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm having flashbacks to last week before I moved back to college. Fuck.
GreatCornolio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:18 on August 14, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
is there a subreddit for dealing with narcissists in general?
PoisonMind ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:49:23 on August 14, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The RBN sidebar has links to several other communities.
One__upper__ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:00:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That escalated quickly
AngelMeatPie ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:09:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn y'all had some tragic childhoods
TomToffee ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:37:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
With jumper cables
DevinTheGrand ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:45:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So many people in this thread were abused as children wtf
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:48:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know it sounds like abuse but to me it was discipline.
It wasn't like my mom and dad were taking out the frustration of the day on me.
DevinTheGrand ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:51:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Beatings for discipline is psychologically discredited and should basically count as abuse.
bigbog987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did we have the same mother?
collapsedblock6 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:17:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And she get mad for "being inpatient"
TheBearRapist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:20:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least your mom came. I spent a lot of time calling her and waiting for nothing before making the 5 mile walk home. Then she would wake up from her nap when I made it home and Bitch at me for walking.
StabbyPants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
or she's still at home getting ready to go out
Weep2D2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
and this was before cellphones and a total shitfest develops when she gets home..
Sierra_Oscar_Lima ยท 1561 points ยท Posted at 17:15:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My MIL does this when she's driving somewhere. "Oh, I'm five minutes away". No, you're a half hour away, you're lying for no reason and it's rude.
AlpacaPower ยท 577 points ยท Posted at 17:56:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, they were only five minutes away, but then traffic was unbelievable
P0sitive_Outlook ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 18:32:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's akin to "my alarm didn't go off/the taxi was late"
NO, GARY! You ignored your alarm! You only called the taxi ten minutes before you should have started work!
me1505 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 19:54:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My alarm actually didn't go off one day, and no one would believe me.
brettf123 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 20:29:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I set my alarm on my phone, and sometimes my charging port bugs out and just stops working, so my phone dies in the middle of the night and doesn't charge
me1505 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:33:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly what happened to me.
P0sitive_Outlook ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:54:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a Nokia C2-01. When the charge runs out it'll still sound the alarm if it's set...
suberdoo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:40:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a problem that no one else is ever going to really care about enough to let you use that as a valid reason for being late. If it's really a problem they do make cheap alarm clocks that have buzzers
VigilantMike ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:51:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But it sounds like a problem that would only come up a few times. Getting an actual alarm sounds like overkill.
SunTzuWarmaster ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:17:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its an excuse because it happens. The real solution is to set two alarms on two devices (hotel wake up call and cell phone, or real alarm and cell phone), but doing that is a super pain in the butt. You do it for things where 99% success rate doesn't cover it (Big Job Interview, Getting Married, Father's Surgery). You don't do it for minor things (Tuesday morning at the office). I've had power outages that fried/reset real alarms, cell phones that haven't charged correctly, wake-up calls that have gone to the wrong room, or simply slept through the alarm (set 2 3AM alarms and slept through both, so tired). It happens, and is a valid excuse 1-2x/year (99% success rate).
suberdoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yup, Suntzu's got it. it's easy to keep an alarm set on your phone. Because that shit's always set up. And then setting one on your bedside is pretty easy, too. But like you said, power outages, But I know in America anyway we don't have power outages enough to really need to worry about that. Maybe in Cali..? I haven't lived there though, but I live in midwest and we hardly have outages
SunTzuWarmaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I live in FL, and its not common to have an outage, but it does happen. Last week my AC broke overnight, tripped its breaker, which tripped the master house breaker and cut power to the house. I have solar panels, but had already pumped all the power to the grid. No biggie, just had to reset everything, but all the clocks got reset.
On the 4th of July, we had an outage on my street for an hour or so around ~8PM. They were fixing it while everyone was watching fireworks.
I'm not saying that it is common, but it does happen often enough for it to be a legit excuse. The only defense against the "slept through my alarm / alarm didn't go off" is to set a backup alarm (ideally on battery power), and doing that every day is a huge pain.
VigilantMike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
True, that's a good point and compromise.
suberdoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:27:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only way to determine that is to determine the what "sometimes" means in the poster's comment. Sometimes as in sometimes in a week, sometimes in a month, sometimes in a year charger doesn't work?
All very different. IF it's sometimes in a week or month, I would spring for an actual separate alarm clock.
VigilantMike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's true. My experience tells me like 5 times in my lifetime. For me, I'd get a extra just for appointments that are important like the above user said.
Evilbluecheeze ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:25:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad sets his alarm to be the radio, and one day that radio station was off the air and the static wasn't loud enough to wake him up. Thankfully he was in a job that didn't care much if he was occasionally late, but it was pretty funny still.
mybustersword ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:17:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That happened to me a bunch of times, I couldn't figure out what the deal was. Even got a new alarm clock.
Turns out, I was sleep turning off my alarm before it even went off. I would roll over at like 3am, click it off and go back to bed. I only found out because one night I grabbed it in my sleep and woke up holding it unplugged from the wall. I move my alarm further away now and it works great
Iorith ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:34:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In Florida it's a common excuse because of how often it storms and knocks out power.
746865626c617a ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Samsung's alarm stops after one minute :(
I've now learned to make several
sickly_sock_puppet ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:37:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad used to pull this shit, blaming it on trains. By the time I was in high school I knew someone who lived close enough to his route and the tracks that I could call him on his shit.
Turns out that trains are as long as it takes to finish up at the bar.
WetDogeSmell ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:32:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're right though. I don't believe it.
DanielLamplugh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:55:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom's favorite excuse is "The line at the grocery store took forever!"
My friends who work at the grocery store can confirm this is bullshit
MHG73 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:38:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but driving out of Boston to the suburb we live in at 6 PM, you probably could have predicted that, huh?
MagicalWeirdo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:06:25 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OH TRAFFICS THE PROBLEM NOW IS IT?! GOOGLE SAYS THERE ISN'T ANY TRAFFIC ON THE ROADS!
NinaLaPirat ยท 309 points ยท Posted at 17:41:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh I hated that in high school. "You always call when we're five minutes away!"
Maybe if you'd only taken 10 like you said, instead of 30, then I wouldn't have called. Ffs.
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 22:14:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
thisisaworkacc ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:50:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel your pain, man. I was ten minutes late to school every goddamn day because my lazy parents couldn't be bothered dealing with morning traffic.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
THIS. FUCKING THIS.
NotShirleyTemple ยท 171 points ยท Posted at 18:25:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Time to start 'subtly' quizzing her with question from early-onset dementia tests. After asking her to identify an elephant, remember a list of three objects for 7 minutes, and drawing 11:00 on an empty clock picture - she might catch on.
You can make most older people change behavior if you imply it might be related to some age-related memory issue. A quick whisper to your kids saying, "Grandma doesn't MEAN to lie honey, but she is getting older and can't think the way she used to. Don't make her feel bad about it; we need to be compassionate for people her age."
Heh heh heh
Sierra_Oscar_Lima ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 18:27:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like the method you just used, but she'll start crying if she heard it.
She's only in her mid 50's. She's just a narcissistic, compulsive liar.
82Caff ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 18:31:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you know she's a narcissist and compulsive liar, then it should be relatively easy to steel yourself for the manipulation tears and not feel bad.
Sierra_Oscar_Lima ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:32:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't give a shit. She doesn't cry in front of me or try to do such things, but it works on my wife.
buttons-the-third ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:56:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/raisedbynarcissists or maybe /r/justnomil?
Sierra_Oscar_Lima ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:56:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Been to both. Also raised by Nmom, totally different flavor of crazy.
NotShirleyTemple ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:23:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, let her cry! Hand her a kleenex. It's not as if tears are toxic (although she might be).
Ah, in that case you might want to check out the /r/raisedbynarcissists link (for your spouse) - there are lots of other N related links on the side. And for yourself, you can check out:
/r/justNOmil
I'll share with you an old Russian prayer for the czar:
"Dear Lord, Please bless and keep the czar.........far away from us."
singularineet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:01:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well it could be Early Onset.
Sierra_Oscar_Lima ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh it's deliberate. I've been in the car with her when she's told people "yep, we're 30 minutes away" and we're still in Wisconsin on our way to Chicago. That's at least 1 hr to North side suburbs.
n3xg3n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For an added bonus, lean over and whisper to kids you don't have
Sanamia ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 17:55:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend that often calls when he's late. Usually he says: I'm looking for a parking spot right now.
We all know it means he hasn't even left the house yet and it's a 40 minute drive or so.
FireEagleSix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know people like this. Why do they do it? Are they afraid to admit the truth: they're chronically unpunctual, and work on that fault? It's like they don't want to be viewed as liable for their own bullshit even though they know they're being pretty damn transparent.
80Eight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no!
I show up places on time and then have a really hard time finding parking in the city. I might have to start getting photographic proof or something.
PM_me_ur_Dinosaur ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:14:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My good friend does this. I care about her a lot so I put up with it and she's never ever going to change. Last time we went out she told me she was 5 minutes away and didn't show up for almost an hour.
ThrowAwayAcct0000 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:37:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I agreed to meet a friend's family at a splash pad near their house (10 minutes from their house, 45 minutes from my house.) I called her to let her know we were on our way, and she said she would probably be there before we were. After playing at the splash pad for over an hour with my kids (and they didn't show), we left and went to breakfast. Fifteen minutes later, they call and ask where we were... I'm not going to wait forever anymore. If someone doesn't respect my time, I'm not going to make an effort to stick around when they're late.
PM_me_ur_Dinosaur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good point. I am selective about when I feel like waiting & when I don't. On this particular occasion, I was perfectly fine sitting alone since my friend was bartending. Otherwise, I would have been peeved.
hustl3tree5 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:46:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that shit. You let it be known after the third time you went home from waiting. They won't pull that bullshit again
yakisaki ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:26:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend that is the same. It's the worst but she's never going to change. We're all going on a trip together at the end of the month and the nightmares i'm getting about missing my flight to glorious Colorado are becoming an every night thing.
DougSTL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend that used to always pull that shit. I just started lying to him saying we needed to be ready to go, or be at a place an hour before we actually did. We were on time, every time.
pizzaqueen2015 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:28:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My MIL also does this and it pisses me off to no end. Then when she finally arrives she always blames it on FIL needing to stop for different things. Like, OK, but why did you have to lie EVERY FREAKING TIME we called and asked where you were/how much longer you would be?
Sierra_Oscar_Lima ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:34:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We lived with them for a while, we learned how it actually worked. FIL was NOT the issue, all you had to do for him was say you're leaving at 30 minutes earlier than the actual time and he'd be ready. MIL just has no foresight, is lazy, and thinks lying to people is better than just honestly saying "we're running late"
Binsmokin420 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:57:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think your MIL might be my drug dealer
baabaablackjeep ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:07:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/JUSTNOMIL beckons you.... Bahahaha
nalk55 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:37:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We're two exits away, traffic is heavy, we'll be there in 15 minutes."
"You're in the bath tub! We wouldn't be 15 minutes if we were where you said we were!"
Hyperx1313 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:52:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My MIL is always 5 minutes away when she is on her broom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My ex did this. "I'm leaving now." Leaving means that you're walking out your door. It does not mean "starting to get ready" or "watching a quick video on YouTube and then putting my shoes on and grabbing my things and then walking out the door." I hated when I pulled in front of his apartment and he said, "Come upstairs first," because then I knew it would probably take us another 20-30 minutes to leave. He had no sense of time unless it was for a scheduled appointment with a doctor or something along those lines.
Zequl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I call 15 minutes before I have to leave
emm938 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum did this the day I was coming back into the country from my first solo trip abroad at 17. I called her from the airport and she said she was on her way. 2 hours later she rocks up and it turns out she was still in bed when I rang.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Did you ever think she was traveling at almost the speed of light, so that five minutes to her is thirty to you?
imnewheregivemekarma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is my mom exactly. Except that we share a car. "Hey, wanna hang out tonight?!" "Yeah! When?" "Be at my house at seven!" Gets off of work at 530 Mom: Stop at the grocery store real quick Mom: And Walgreens It's 7:50 by the time I drop her off back home Mom:. Where do you think you're going (even after she told me yes)?! Take off the trash before you go hang out! Takes off trash Texts friend at 815 "Hey, where do I need to meet you?" "You're always late, so I made back up plans with X" Yeah, it's totally my fault :( Sorry for the rant but yeah
pm_me_dem_tittties ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like my dealer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The flipside of that - two separated parents with shared custody at pick-up time.
TEXT MESSAGE:
Mum: How long until you're here?
Dad: We're passing the gasworks now.
Mum: So how long?
Dad: We've just passed the Anglican church.
Mum: So HOW LONG?
Dad: We're about to drive into town.
Mum: <gives up>
KingdomOfFawg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My father in law was invited over to our house for dinner. My wife was making dinner and he was late. Well, I was driving home from work and saw his car parked in front of a tavern. I proceeded home.
He showed up and told us that there was a traffic jam.
Busted.
KT_ATX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My MIL does the exact same thing. I would much prefer she tell me the truth so Im not sitting killing time on my phone. I could be getting some coffee, finishing an errand, doing whatever the hell I want cause its my time shes wasting, etc.
2manymans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, two rude things added together is 10x as annoying
AugustusPompeianus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a bitch
EyespyAll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother does this. Every Damn time
FAHQRudy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
sigh This is all too familiar to me.
octodrew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:07 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my wife does this but i think she has no concept of time and distance. i called her to be picked up from the train station and she said she would be ten minutes. i asked her where she was and figured out the driving time+traffic and said see you in 45. she turned up 43 minutes later, gave her the biggest told you so look.
Nyrb ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 18:01:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you just call your own mother a MILF?
Sierra_Oscar_Lima ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:09:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mother in law
half-idiot ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:23:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
MILILF then?
Sierra_Oscar_Lima ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:25:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hell no.
derefr ยท -32 points ยท Posted at 17:52:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
EDIT: Arguing about gender on reddit? I'm outta here!
Let's take a step back. The point I wanted to make is that people with lower spacial-reasoning skills can't translate as well from looking at a map to an intuition about the distance and the time that distance will take to traverse.
My own spacial-reasoning skills are shit. I can sort of guess how long it will take to go down a straight-shot highway with no trafficโbut when I consider the "squiggly line" through city traffic I would take to get somewhere in town, I have absolutely no sense of how long that will take if I haven't driven that exact route before at that exact time of day. I can do mental arithmetic involving speeds and distancesโif I know the actual distanceโbut not fast enough to be able to answer someone when they ask how long I'll be. I would, like the parent commenter's mom, have to just make up some bullshit answer. (I try to make it at least an overestimate rather than an underestimate, though.) Usually, though, I check everywhere I'm going on my phone's map, and get the time estimate from there, because that lets me plan.
That's what I was saying: your mom (and other moms) might be like that. A lot of people might be like that. The androgen thing was mainly thrown in as a hypothesis for why people never have this complaint about dads.
brickmaster32000 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 18:18:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See this is the problem with having a little bit of knowledge. It causes people to stretch the random trivia they know into bullshit excuses that justifies their belief.
liverSpool ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:11:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
what? Have you ever spoken to a woman before? They know how driving distances work.
Edit: also it's spatial (OED only pls)
Duckbilling ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:38:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not my girl
Valiantheart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really? My mother could never even remotely accurately estimate how far we were from any destination over 20 minutes.
Lockdownhaden ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:54:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even if they dont know its not that hard to check google maps and find out how long it will be
frossenkjerte ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:04:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Or, people shouldn't lie about being "on their way right now", when they're not even in their shoes, and visibly doing non-going things! My first contact with this behaviour was an overworked guy at college.
Dumbass Dan... IF YOU'RE NOT ON YOUR WAY, HERE'S AN IDEA: DON'T FUCKING TELL A GIRL YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY, YOU FUCKING WORTHLESS SCUMBAG INSULT TO THE HUMAN RACE! AND I FUCKING TOLD YOU THAT TEXTING ON THE DAN RYAN WAS DANGEROUS, YOU BRAIN DAMAGED FUCKWIT!
Whew... that felt good.
Edit: There is only 'right now', and it means at that instant in time, and 'right now-right now' is a farce! Are you 3?! What kind of moron needs to say 'instantaeously, but not instantaneously'? How about you learn to speak English, you snivelly pasty ghoul!? There is nothing beyond 'right now', unless you use future perfect tense. I'm told we speak the same language? Fine, I'll put aside my nascent tribalism, and engage you as an equal. Only to find, that you not only have some sort of joke version of my language, don't think my sense of humour is funny, and I'm crammed into a deathcube with a basically inebriated teenager on crack at the wheel, and he's texting, while swerving along at what may as well be Warp 5 to me, and then I'm told that my only safety net, going to a free, caring, emergency ward, is forever locked out of my reach, and I'm less safe than stuck in bear country without a gun? And yelling and screaming will only distract you more, and I have to shut up and pray to an empty space that doesn't hear my thoughts, that I do NOTHING, to ensure my survival? No. Fuck that, fuck you, fuck your friends, fuck your uninsured shitbox of a car, fuck your system, fuck your city, fuck your slums, fuck your society, fuck your boring bland money, fuck your flag, and fuck the madness that brought me to such a hellhole!
Note: I recognise that just like Canada, the United States has many diverse cultures, and many outlooks of government's role in life, and that the flag of one person is not the flag of them all(Okay, yes it is, but I'm not down on USA as a whole; please understand that this is major catharsis, and that I've gone through many personality changes, a change in gender expression, and while I'm a pagan Commie now, back then I was a fundy Baptist neo-conservative. I was as much a kid, but the horror of that shock was part of my journey.) Nothing will ever supplant the sublime feeling of relief, when I finally saw a Canadian flag again, in MI, and when I crossed the border into my own home. Home is different for everybody. While I am still hostile to the idea of having to pay for care, I am not trying to shit on you Americans as a whole: disagreements or not, we are, for better or for worse, figuratively conjoined for life.
Lifesagame81 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:22:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Texting on the Dan Ryan?
frossenkjerte ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:36:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. I had literally just been told that Americans didn't have free healthcare. I now hate Chicago, and everything surrounding it. Fuck that horrifying place.
Lifesagame81 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:48:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah. It's a freeway in Chicago. I was lost before.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:20:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
frossenkjerte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the back seat of a Chevy Priszm, for a culture-shocked Winnipegger that has just been told that the overworked, overtired, texting college kid piloting us around at 60mph can't afford to go to the most basic medical care - an emergency ward. And I was stuck in that hellhole. Fuck that whole situation so much.
NotShirleyTemple ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:26:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's a danryan?
frossenkjerte ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:37:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I-90, as it passes through Chicago. It's called the Dan Ryan Freeway.
ClearEyesFullHart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I-90*
InvadedByMoops ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:30:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See ladies, it's not your fault you're inferior, it's just science!
Why won't anybody sleep with me?
Androgens are extremely important in female development, ya knob.
Sierra_Oscar_Lima ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:10:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She's just a habitual liar.
Sunshine_of_your_Lov ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:26:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
are you stupid? You really think women don't understand time rofl
derefr ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:08:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not women, people who for some reason or another didn't get much androgen-exposure. Like me!
And not time; space. Try to just eyeballโno tracing with your finger or anythingโhow long it will take to drive along the random sort of curled-up-squiggly-line route people usually drive to get places in a city. Go to google maps, plug in a start and end point, and try it yourself, without looking at the numbers in the sidebar.
If you've never driven somewhere before, and you can't intuit the distance to that place from where you are, then you have nothing to translate to an ETA.
Spacial reasoning is needed to 1. create abstract models of spacial objects in your mind (like picturing your route as a the squiggly line on a map, rather than as a sequence of place-memories), and 2. "flatten" that squiggly line out to estimate how long it is. Better spacial reasoning means better distance estimating. That's the point I wanted to make.
(Also, remember that we're all talking about what our moms did when we were kids, here. Our parents didn't have smartphones or in-car nav systems to do the estimating for them. They had, at most, a paper map, and that wouldn't get pulled out unless you got lost.)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/iamverysmart
derefr ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:19:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
If people are arguing about science, it's kind of hard to make any kind of conclusive argument without using science words.
Also, something I notice: when I post in, say, /r/cogsci, talking to the actual experts on these topics, I don't get downvoted. But whenever I post in a default subreddit like /r/askreddit or /r/funny, I get super-duper downvoted no matter what I'm talking about, and no matter how uncontroversial a subject.
I think people are downvoting me because the first words it comes to mind for me to type are ten-dollar ones? I'm trying to goof off and relax after work; I don't have the concentration to come off as anything other than a grad student talking to other grad students.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*I don't have the concentration to treat people like they aren't uniform cogs that fit in my narrative machine.
derefr ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:01:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly don't. Which is, you know... a thing. Especially a thing for autistic people (I'm not one of those); it's exhausting to have to do non-default social things completely consciously all day in order to not be yelled at and made fun of. Also people with ADHD (I am one of those); it's very easy to run out of executive function at some point during the day, and then you're stuck hoping that you can get away with your default behaviors without anyone calling you a lazy fuck for not putting in the effort to perceive and signal that you care about all their subcultures and identities while talking to them.
Sunshine_of_your_Lov ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
citing wiki doesn't count as a source, and also you specified women in your post when there was no reason to. Also no one in their right mind would guess a drive that takes 30 minutes will take 5. They are just lying for whatever dumb reason. I think it's more of a culture thing, my boyfriends whole family does it. Drives me insane
aeiluindae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It could be a cultural thing. It could be that mothers are generally the ones running the errands. It's very hard to have any clear idea, given how much people vary on an individual level.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Women, right? They're so stupid they don't understand time.
Come on, dude.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:13:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
InvadedByMoops ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:39:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No because he doesn't know what he's talking about. Androgens are present in both men and women, and are key in puberty for both sexes.
randomprofanity ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 17:27:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God forbid it takes you more than 30 seconds to get to the car when she finally does pick you up somewhere, though.
HoodedGryphon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:04:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why weren't you standing outside waiting on me when I arrived?
I don't know Mom, have you considered that it's 15 degrees out here and I called you 45 minutes ago and it's a 7 minute drive to the school?
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:15:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was the younger sibling so I got left places ... A LOT. The worst part? She would actually tell me she fell asleep, she just forget to come and get me, she forgot I left the the house. Kind of gives you a complex after a while.
_angesaurus ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:37:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wasnt allowed to have a cell phone yet, so I just had to wait and pray that I was not forgotten. 2 hours later...
Gabe_Noodle_At_Volvo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:01:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's a reason your mom gave you legs.
_angesaurus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:35:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was track practice... and she did sometimes say things like "you could have just ran home, too!" I'm kind of surprised I didnt tbh since I was so embarrassed of our old copper colored station wagon that barely ran.
Lakridspibe ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:41:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:(
Stencils294 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:02:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:(
VaporStrikeX2 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:09:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:(
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:14:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:(
_TheGreatDekuTree_ ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:14:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
SgvSth ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:37:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:/
VaporStrikeX2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:53:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
แ(เฒ ็เฒ แ)
_TheGreatDekuTree_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:01:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
(๐ อส๐)
Godzillarex77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
โฌโดโฌโดโค เผผเบูอโโฌโดโฌโด
GRYFFIN_WHORE ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:48:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This thread has made me realize how happy I am to be an adult
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:53:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
dibblah ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:42:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. I was in the school netball team and was actually pretty good. My teacher wanted me to try out for the city team. But I got kicked out "for my own safety" because nobody ever came to pick me up from matches.
kickingballs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why didn't you just carpool with someone? I had friends on my soccer team that my mom would take home with us if they didn't have a ride.
dibblah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My school was in town, I lived in a village. Day to day, I caught the school bus, but of course that wasn't available for out of school hours. I was the only one from my village on the team.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:43:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I could feel my heart breaking when I read that last sentence.
themojomike ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:36:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But rides from a hot coach are the best.
chrisTHEayers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would have to make sure to tell my parents to be there to pick me up like 15 minutes before I was finished. that usually worked out to them being there right as I was getting done
fallout52389 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:50:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Omg my mom did this too! Such utter bullshit. I'll never let this go I'll keep bitching about it to her. I hated waiting for her and felt so awkward and people would offer me rides and I would decline bc my rides almost here... Eventually i did accept some rides just to Spite my mom and she would be so mad but so worth it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:56:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happens to my friend all the time. I feel awful for her, it took her dad 2 hours to finally pick her up. Now that I've got my license she'll call her dad habitually and then a half hour later call him again to say she's good after my insistence to just let me give her a ride instead :(
mega_brown_note ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:47:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My heart aches for you, brother. This. For me. All the way through junior high and high school.
0rangebang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We had a friend like this in high school. Kickbacks on friday nights, usually everyone would head out around 9, but his parents wouldnt come til 10, or even 11 sometimes. Even when he called before 9.... :( We used to get so mad at his parents for that.
sjmiv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least you got a ride home. I think I waited 2 hours for my parents to pick me up one time. It didn't help that the only clothes I had were my soccer shorts and shirt and off course a shitty windstorm kicked in.
compwalla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have never done this to my kids. My younger one has this deep seated fear of abandonment and I don't know where it comes from. He's always been like that. If I showed up one minute late in the pickup line, he would melt down into sobs, convinced I was dead and never coming to fetch him. Even when he was too young to tell time. He told me once, "You always come get me before Jesse's mom picks him up and Jesse's mom already came and you weren't here!" He freaked out. I have never once failed to pick him up on time, never left him anywhere, never. No idea what the root of that anxiety is but because I don't want him in therapy all his adult life, I always pick him up when I say I will.
corran450 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TRAB PU KCIP
_Liaison_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel for you. My dad has a terrible memory and cell phones weren't common when I was in junior high. I started walking home after a recital. I lived 45 minutes from the school. Eventually my mom asked me dad where I was, and by that point it was past midnight and I was walking.
waaaldooooo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was supposed to pick me up from karate practice at 6:00 pm. At 6:30 I called to make sure she remembered. She did. She was dropping off her clients (she was a real estate agent) and then she would be on her way. It was okay cause I just took another karate class. Well then 7:30 rolled around. I called again. "The studio closes at 8:00. Are you going to be here?" She said she was on her way. Well then 8:00 arrived and the assholes didn't wait with me. I was 12 years old and just sitting on the fucking curb in my karate outfit. I walked around a grocery store for a while because it was lit. I didn't have a cell phone so I kept having to call from customer service. At 9:30 my mom finally showed up. I asked her if I could have the commission from the house her clients bought. She actually ended up putting it in to a mutual fund for me.
baabaablackjeep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is just fucked up, I'm sorry. My mom was the one whose keys you could hear jingling outside the classroom 10 minutes before the bell went off in elementary school, and she was the one sitting in the truck with a book waiting for me during my lacrosse days. I never had to stand around like that. That sucks. (What was her excuse? Or was there one?)
I was THE LAST kid in my grade to be old enough to drive, but even that late on, I still always saw friends or even just acquaintances standing outside, getting ready to be kicked off campus since they were "loitering," whose parents had done that shit. I went to a magnet school (speciality HS outside of the area I would have normally gone) so I had about a 17 mile commute home, and would likely pass this person's house at some point anyway. So I was forever toting folks around in my big hillbilly truck, I didn't mind at all.
tigress666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My coach had to give me a ride home... got there and both parents thought the other one was supposed to get me (He gave them a piece of his mind). I got to listen to them yelling at each other the rest of the night (I hated it when they yelled at each other and they were particularly loud with their voices this time).
p0537 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That happened to me once, I was on a soccer field, for one entire hour, basically locked up. I called my mother a good 5 times and she always said that "she would be right there". I watched everyone exit, except myself. The coach just turns to me and goes: "Well, you're the last. I had to piss 10 mins in there, considering I was 6, I peed myself. Bad bladder I guess. 5 mins after I piss myself, she's there. God dammit mom.
Xeo8177 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can relate. I never had enough time to get between classes and to use my locker, so I always had to lug around a 40+ pound backpack in school. Luckily, I only lived a mile away, but I would frequently have to make the slow crawl home with half of my own body weight strapped to my back after waiting an hour for a car to show up. Was always the same story walking in the front door. Snoring loud enough to wake the neighbors and an empty vodka bottle next to the couch. Got fed up one day and dumped a pitcher of water on her while she was in that state. Good times :\
Kiyoko504 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom shows up, you aren't their, police come knocking on the door, mother balling her eyes out and now with a vendetta against the Male coach to which mother ran ever possible scenario of child molester through their skull. But an hour ago they were stand up guy.
This is just an example
tcpip4lyfe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I usually walked home because mom was drunk/passed out. :(
deskbeetle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was so embarrassing being the last kid picked up for every single after school event.
I remember one time I waited almost 2 hours for my mom to pick me up from a school trip. It was 9 o'clock at night and the band director had been sitting and waiting with me. Finally I called my grandmother and she came and picked me up right away. I got yelled at so badly by my mom for "embarrassing her in front of her mother like that".
hse97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know right. After cross country practice Id ask my mom to come pick me up since I didn't want to walk or run any more than i already had. But some times it would take close to an hour for her to come pick me up. We lived less than 3 miles away from the house. I have even walked home from practice after getting annoyed with waiting for her after 40 minutes only to find she hasn't even left the house yet. What's the point in me even asking you if I have to wait half an hour to an hour for you to drive three miles down two straight roads.
MrNudeGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah and your rich attractive friends with perfect lives have their mom's waiting right outside the door in there monstrous SUV of choice with a god damned Capri sun! 15 yrs later I'm still salty.
kc10crewchief ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for reminding me how much I hate my mother.
NeedMoarCoffee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was me in elementary school. The teachers did not care though, they all left and I'm waiting still. Every day.
Argarath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda related story
Once there was a holiday on the middle of the week, and school had to close that day. So that students didn't fall back on their classes ( like one day could do any damage to the treasurer's schedule...) school decided open on a Saturday. Fast forward to says Saturday, my classes end and my sister's classes end too. I was about 11 and she was 13, but a hell lot more mature than me. She says: Wait for mom here, she'll get you like always
Well, I then wait for mom there as my older sister goes to get bff's house with said bff's mother, what could go wrong, right?
Well, what my sister forgot and my mother didn't tell me was that I was supposed to go with them to my sister's bff's house too. When her mother got there, my sister told them that mom going to get me, and, as my sister was older and a hell lot more responsible than me, they believed her in a heart beat.
As it was Saturday, everyone had already left school in about 50 minutes and I was alone. It was 1:00 PM, I was hungry, sad, but like a loyal puppy, I stood there, in front of school, waiting for my mom. By that time, the director was just finishing closing some gates and saw me. She asked what I was doing, I told her I was waiting my mom and she said that I could eat with her and the other sisters ( I studied at a Cristian school, full of those ladies that I don't know the name in English). I go there and wile I eat, she calls my mom (I studied there already for about 5 years and my other older sister studied for 8 there, they knew my family really well).
In the end I ate at their food, my sister got in trouble from both moms and I got to be in the good side of the school director until I finished it, saving from a lot of trouble
baltakatei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Walk to your mom's work and look for her car the whole time only to make it all the way to her work office to see her surprised and then shocked face as she realizes she forgot to pick you up at noon and it's already 3pm.
I soon got a cellphone after that event.
dianabarry225 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom does this so much that when I started driving my sister and I made a deal. If I'm more than 20 min late I owe her Starbucks and an apology. If she doesn't give me a few hours notice she does the same for me.
OnlySpoilers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom would do that but then would insist that she had to pick me up. Then when I told her the coach was mad for having to wait around with me she would yell at me like it was my fault baseball practice was done at 7 and not 8
thatdogislookingatme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pick Up Bart.
blackonyxring ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a parent yet, but I have a hard time understanding how some parents can be so irresponsible to their children. What kind of example are they setting? Isn't the kid kind of on their mind all the time, or is offspring not wired to be as important as I thought?
Hobbs54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a job on weekends in high school and needed a ride. I would be dropped off OK by my mom or older brother because I made sure I got their on time. Then I would call to remind then when I was getting off work and would wait for them to arrive. Call again after waiting 30 to 45 minutes and they would show up after about an hour. Third time that happened my dad raised holy hell saying "He has been responsible enough to get a job in the first place, so stop treating him like a second class citizen!" My dad could be pretty cool at times.
tatertotshotdish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad was a soccer coach when I was little and this happened a lot. Except he didn't drive kids home. He called their parents and waited while the kid and I hung out for a while, then told the parent off out of earshot of their kid. It not always legally safe for a dad to drive another kid home anymore, even with his own kid in the car, and the asshole parent doesn't deserve to get a free driver for their kid.
Arrow_Riddari ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom: I will be there in 5 minutes.
Me: (goes outside in 5 minutes).
Mom: Where were you? I was here 2 minutes ago!
She was.
wdrive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"'Pick a bar,' what does that mean?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah it's worse when they show up 20 minutes before practice ends and then bitch at you for making them wait all the way home.
watermelonpizzafries ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Past me, is it you?
ersal ยท 1884 points ยท Posted at 15:25:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Especially when they leave you waiting in line at the grocery store. The panic that used to go through me as a kid as you get closer to the front wasn't fun.
kennyl ยท 1282 points ยท Posted at 16:35:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Alright, NEXT."
"Um, Mom? Mom? Moooooooom?"
"NEXT!"
Aayin ยท 670 points ยท Posted at 16:50:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
This pretty much sums up my childhood.
Edit: I can seriously feel the anxiety of it twenty years later.
x_JUMPER_CABLE_DAD_x ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 17:16:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And somehow you could make it until you find her, then you bursted out crying
cutdownthere ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 19:55:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This still happens to me if Im ever dragged along to the supermarket. To save myself embarrassment I just end up paying for the damn groceries. But when I was a kid Id like, pack the items real slow as they were coming through the conveyor belt and they were getting scanned.
Aayin ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:34:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I wonder if having you pay was the long-term plan after all.
I would also put things on slowly and send my brother to go find my mother. I knew if her precious baby boy stepped away from the cart, she would appear. It worked roughly 2/3 of the time.
The other times I would simply have an awkward conversation with the cashier and refused to look at the angry stares of the patrons behind us.
Neckwrecker ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:14:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still get anxiety when my wife does this to me.
widgetbox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:50:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And me - and she still does it. If she's not back in time she can wait at the back of the line as I'll have paid and packed already. I ain't keeping a queue waiting for one item....
EmilyRose607 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:54:25 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still HAVE the anxiety.
"NEXT!"
"...Mom?"
"NEXT!"
"MOOOOM!!!"
"Hey kid...you're in college."
rtx447 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:34:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the opposite now, it feels so awkward waiting in line, especially of someone starts talking to me.
Aayin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:39:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's the heavy feeling of "this is what my life has come to."
Your life can be awesome, but as soon as you step into artificial light of a poorly disguised food warehouse, the dutiful feeling of "adulting" takes over.
Kewlrobot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:59:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That totally happened to me but here's a worse experience that I had. I visited a friend in China and went shopping with his mom and him. We were at the checkout and there was a line behind us, and they left to go pick something up. The lady rang up all the items and then we just sort of looked at eachother. I don't know enough Chinese to explain it, and she didn't know English, so I just had to stand there for what seemed like an eternity.
Aayin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no.
Torvaun ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:14:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You grew up to be Otacon, didn't you?
mybustersword ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Snake? Snake?!?
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:36:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once we were at Costco, and while waiting in line she ran off to renew our membership so we could actually check out. She didn't make it.
Roy_McDunno ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 16:56:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"Aaaahhh! I don't wanna!!!"
freakishly fending off the cashier's hands as he tries to get hold of you and drag you across the scanner into oblivion and hell, into unknown adult-world-territories called "paying" and "taking responsibility"
shudders
-del2phi ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:02:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then the one time she thinks to give you money to pay for it yourself while she goes to check on something, she shorts you $5 and you're standing there with the clerk glaring at you, and you're terrified that security's gonna throw you in jail.
MusicalCereal ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:03:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was always so sure I would go to jail or something....usually the cashier just frowned at me
cnaiurbreaksppl ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:41:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Which is funny because I'm sure the cashier would actually be more than willing to sit there and not do anything for a few minutes.
Herry_Up ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:48:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're making my blood pressure go up.
captainhindsite5752 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:18:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Spoilers Walking Dead..... "Mom? Moooom?"
indigoyoshi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:42:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now as an adult with my own money, my parents still do it and I end up having to buy their shit because people are waiting and social anxiety. Then when they come back it's "Oh, did you pay for my stuff too? I'm sorry, I'll pay you back." NEVER HAPPENS.
TBoarder ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is such an easy thing to handle though... If you forgot something, either just go through the line and pay for what you have, then go back in for what you forgot and use the express or self-checkout lane... OR pull out of the line and get what you need. Maybe the person behind you will be nice enough to hold your space, IF you're fast enough, but if not, oh well.
This is a byproduct of the shitty attitude that people have, that their time is more important than anybody else's... It's not, and please don't put your kids through this kind of anxiety over it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:03:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i learned that you can go a bit to the side so a person can move in but you also show you are in line, while leaving the bag on the counter when i was 12
dukeofnachos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:32:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LPT for anyone who shops with their mom: Offer to be the one to go get the thing. Say that you're faster or something and go get it. And move fast, because otherwise you're still going to worry about holding up the line. And use the self-checkout things whenever possible.
craftygamergirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:35:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom's counter: I need this specific thing and you won't get the right one/itll take too long to explain it I'll just get it. (comes back with jar of generic pickles)
Doctor_What_ ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 18:11:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why does everyone has such a big problem with this? You just gotta let the people behind you pass (one at a time) and you'll be fine.
NDaveT ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:34:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hard to let people pass when your cart's in the way.
violetplague ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:50:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you've got a cart-full, you should be good. Tactical grocery deployment man.
alwaysLFsupport ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:55:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The nerve on this guy! They leave you after you start putting all the things on the belt. "Oh i forgot ketchup BRB keep putting that crap up there" Somehow makes it back when the cashiers ringing up the last thing for you, pretty much sweating bullets man.
Doctor_What_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:05:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, didn't consider this posibility. Carry on being awkward then.
Redheadwithoutacause ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 18:13:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember this so well, now I'm a cashier and whenever a mom does this I can see the fear in their eyes. I just talk to them about either star wars or frozen then they feel better.
redi3een ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:00:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're an angel.
Pangolin007 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:00:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
omg you are the best
WaffleFoxes ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 17:44:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Ugh, my mother did that to me at the AIRPORT. "I'll just duck out for a moment to smoke, I'll be right back"
So there's the gate agent "Last call for <flight> Last call" and I'm standing there with increasing panic.
Rosie_Cotton_ ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:31:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, that just got my heart rate up.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:44:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god I had PTSD flashbacks last summer at Sam's Club with my girlfriend. We had just moved in together, and we went to Sam's to get a bunch of household stuff and some food. Mind you, she has a Sam's card, and at the time I did not. For those who don't have Sam's or Costco, it's a huge warehouse-looking store and usually everyone in line has a ton of stuff in their carts. Also, you need the card to get in and check out.
Anyways, there's like two people ahead of us and she all of a sudden starts half-running/half-walking away saying she'll be right back. Next person finishes checking out, so there's one person between the cashier and me. I start panicking and calling her, she doesn't answer. She shows up at the last second after she found some god damn honey roasted peanuts, and I just look ahead silently. After we checked out I just looked at her and said, "Don't ever do that shit to me again". She was confused, I guess it never had happened to her.
nigerian_king ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 16:57:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an adult now but I still sometimes shop with my mom, if she does this nbd I can pay for it all.
But once she did this at Costco. As the only cardholder. At Costco!
Suddenly I was a little kid again :(
PhyberLogik ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:44:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a dad, I fully expect my daughter to just leave the cart right there and walk away. It's not her responsibility to hold our place in line while I fart around in the store because I forgot to grab the mayonnaise and it's not like she can cover the grocery bill.
atget ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:30:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but you just forgot one thing and it's a Sunday morning and the line is so long and your daughter doesn't even know which aisle the forgotten item is in, but you know which aisle and exactly where.
My mom did this and I found it pretty anxiety-inducing, but I get it. And I suspect that you will too, eventually.
PhyberLogik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:40 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or I can just go and get it and go back to the end of the line or just go without.
BlackHeart89 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:16:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I recently went to the store with a co-worker to buy some groceries for our facility. Of course her being the one with the company card walks off to go do something. I'm 26 and I still hate that filling.
HowDoYouDo87 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:29:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't stand jelly filling, myself. Cream all the way.
BlackHeart89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:32:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao feeling That's even funnier because I actually do hate jelly filling.
HowDoYouDo87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:)
Hemenia ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:43:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work as a cashier on a local (but quite big) store, and some of my colleagues (including me) like to mess with children when in this situation.
We usually act as if they were adult, asking them for their loyalty card and whether they will pay in cash/card/whatever.
I'm now realising we've probably caused these kids some nightmares.
Pangolin007 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:03:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
agh pls stop
brian9000 ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 18:18:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, hopefully you don't stop doing this...
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:06:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Ma'am, I'm 8 years old. Do you really think I'd be here alone? I don't think so".
slimjimdick ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:43:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in my early teens, my mother would often realize she forgot something while she was waiting in line. She would send me off to go grab whatever it was and bring it to her while she held our place in line. For vengeance purposes, I would hide in an aisle and wait until she was next in line and then run out holding the paper towels or whatever she needed.
iamnothyper ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:12:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
im 24 and that still gets me. especially when i see her start actively shopping again. my mom once left the card with me to go grab something. we had to check out twice.
JedLeland ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:59:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember that happening once when I was a kid. I got to the front of the line and was about to tell the woman behind me to go ahead when I heard my mother come galloping and yelling, "NO!!!"
notalchemists ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Frig, I'm almost 20 years old and I still panic when that happens...
ShadeFury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still had this panic at 23 years old. My roommate and I would go shopping together. We were the assholes that did 3 separate transactions (his, mine, ours). Almost every time he'd be like, "Wait I forgot something!" after we'd already setup the conveyor. The panic and desperate looking around for him as I got closer and closer to the front, then continued as I went thru my stuff and he still wasn't back for his. Fuck you Chris.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Boyfriend did this to me and I was nervously standing there because I didn't have my wallet on me. The sassy checkout lady got on the intercom and yelled for him to hurry up.
kinaaaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom still does this to me and I'm grown as hell.
Project2r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh wow, flashbacks.
i can feel the panic - head swiveling trying to see if they arrive back in time, praying the person in front of you takes just a little more time than they need, the cold sweat of being embarrassed and panicking...
CyanPhoenix42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had no problem getting to the front of the line, the real panic set in when the checkout person had almost finished scanning everything, but of course mum hadn't come back yet
thegapinglotus ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:15:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha. I took my 7-year-old daughter clothes shopping a couple of weeks ago. We picked out a ton of clothing for her, and since the line was super long, like at least 30 minutes, I had her wait in line while I looked for something for myself in the same store. I kept checking on her every couple of minutes, but still, her slight panic as she inched forward through the line alone was pretty damn adorable.
msanthropologist ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 17:26:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My 8 year old gets panicked every time I do this to her. If I have to run and grab something I forgot, I'll make her unload the cart while I go get it rather than having her take her sweet ass time going to get it. And even if I do that, 90% of the time she comes back and says she couldn't find it, cause she's a kid and kids are absolute rubbish at looking for things
I have to remind her that a) we've been going to this market at least twice a week for 5 years and all of the check out people know you and love you, b) I will be back in less than a minute, and c) they're not going to try to make you pay for it if I don't get back in time. But no, she still freaks out anyway.
brian9000 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:17:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I mean it's generally considered quite rude to the people in line behind you.
If you're not ready to check out, don't check out. The register will still be waiting for you when you're done shopping.
On the other hand, if you leave behind someone to hold a beach head and prevent other people from checking out (because you don't want that checkout lane to be used while you continue to shop), that poor person becomes the focal point of all the annoyance being telegraphed by everyone prevented from checking out.
I've noticed that narcissistic people tend to neither notice, nor care, that they are inconveniencing others. Conversely, if you're the child of a narcissist (speaking from experience), you become highly hyper-sensitive to the way strangers around you are impacted, and tend to take "ownership" (apologizing to everyone for the inconvenience).
Which is itself a stressful and unsatisfying exercise because, at best, the strangers realize it's not your fault (and their annoyance remains undiminished), and when the narcissist returns, she will be full of comments like "oh honey relax, no one cares" and "see, that only took a minute, stop freaking out".
Just my perspective, obviously terribly tainted by an abusive upbringing ;)
heh.
iamnothyper ยท 508 points ยท Posted at 15:45:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my mom is pretty oblivious. once we went shopping and as the store is closing my dad and i call to her to get going. we leave and walk out of the store. then we realize she's nowhere to be seen and panic a little, but turn around and see her still in the store, shopping, with everything closed and locked down.
kennyl ยท 334 points ยท Posted at 17:17:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Excuse me, ma'am, the store is closed."
"Hold on, just 5 more minutes."
GRYFFIN_WHORE ยท 182 points ยท Posted at 17:52:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hated that shit when I was booth closer -_- they only had one lane open the last 30 min, the booth lane. And there was always some mom who thought I should wait another 15 min before kicking her out, and that it was fine that she brought over 100 items to a non conveyer belt line. Have a heart lady, we all want to go home. Go to walmart, they don't close.
[deleted] ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 17:57:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Former Aldi Employee here. We got to kick people out when it closed. Go track down the person, and make them leave. They enter the checkout five minutes after close? Sorry, the checkout is off for the night.
partyatwalmart ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 18:19:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"The customer is always right."
No, the customer is usually shitty and couldn't be more wrong.
unclenoriega ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 18:22:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Moreover, I think the original intent of that quote is more along the lines of, "The customer knows his needs/desires better than the store does."
Edit: It seems I may have been mislead. According to Quote Investigator, the original meaning is much the same, with the occasional caveat that, in reality, the customer is very often wrong, and there are limitations on how much faux-credulity can be extended.
jinxed_07 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:32:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
While I get the intent of the original line "Try to satisfy/agree with the customer, it's good for business.", it is also so fucking wrong and not even appropriate in so many situations that it infuriates me to think it somehow became as popular as it is today. I really, really hope sometime in the next decade we, as a society, realize the idiocy of that phrase and cease to use it.
unclenoriega ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:24:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to expand on what I meant, but after looking into it, it seems like the original meaning is pretty much the same as it is today. As you say, too often it is taken too far. Some of the early citations make the point that there are limitations.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:33:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no, the customer is never wrong. The customer is also an idiot.
GRYFFIN_WHORE ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:38:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We had a rule that if they had been shopping 30 min prior to closing, they could finish. It was a shit rule.
she-stocks-the-night ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:12:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We don't ever kick them out. We might check in, try to give them some hints, but if they're in the store before we lock the doors we don't make them leave.
Most people hurry up. Some people, though. Some regulars especially.
GRYFFIN_WHORE ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:19:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh regulars. They can be great conversation, but they start to get so comfortable they think they own the place. I work as a server now and some regulars think they can get up and fill their own water glasses in my station. I remember in grocery, they were usually some of the last shoppers. I guess they feel better about the inconvenience if they are familiar with the workers.
she-stocks-the-night ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:58:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most of my regulars are darlings and I would and do go above and beyond for them.
But then you get, like, the one who also makes shitty remarks about each of us to our faces. It's that kind of person that reminds me it's still retail.
GRYFFIN_WHORE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's how I feel, its those few who just remind you how shitty it is that we must hold our tongues. I've perfected the art of a fake laugh as a reply to these types. That's all you can do, laugh off their weird or rude remarks.
ShaxAjax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus. I'm a lovely person to customers and always have been, (but my jobs have usually not been directly about the customers) but I would almost certainly give them the death stare without even thinking.
GRYFFIN_WHORE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's a customer who comes in regularly and sits at the counter to have coffee. He interrupted me once while helping another customer and I gave him a death glare. He thought it was cute, and now he always requests I give him my "grumpy" face. Talk about condesending.
Twilit_Night ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes they aren't even great conversation. With most of the regulars at my grocery store, you'd think they just existed in a week-long time loop with how often the share the same stories and make the same jokes.
Me: Just one second, I'm having trouble finding the code for this item.
Them: I guess it must be free HAHAHAHAH
I don't even pretend to laugh anymore...
GRYFFIN_WHORE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or when you'd give them the total and they would act all flabbergasted, "150 dollars? Seriously?! I got like half a cart, damn your store is expensive!" Am I the only one that adds as I shop, so its never a surprise? I also round up so its cheaper than I expect. Also sir/ma'am, this is not MY store, this is my minimum wage job I clock into everyday and I swear I'm not lying when I say I don't make the prices, nor do I condone them. I didn't even shop where I worked, smaller groceries are more expensive. You're paying the difference so you don't have to shop with people you look down upon at winco or Wal-Mart. No we will not match their prices, we'll go bankrupt.
wewora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you ever get people who were shocked that you wouldn't let them continue shopping/checkout after close? Please say yes.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:03:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course. The best was when someone would come up to the store after we closed, and knock on the door and ask if they could come in. No sir, you can't come in "just for some bread", but you can go fuck yourself.
Zine-Rex ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:13:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man one shitty grocery I worked at wouldn't even let us make those passive aggressive speaker announcements like, "Attention shoppers, the store is closing in 5 min." All they would do is lock the entry autodoor to the store on the hour we closed. People snuck through the exit one sometimes and they STILL MADE US SERVE THEM. The 2-3 boots on the ground (as opposed to shitty managers) would always just be completely silent to those people coming up to the register after close. No greeting. No "cash or credit?" No nothing, just hatful looks or "yeah we close at 9" and letting them simmer in discomfort.
GRYFFIN_WHORE ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:42:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I loved letting them simmer in discomfort, but usually the last shoppers lacked the ability to feel shame. They probably wouldn't be the last shopper if they felt shame. Its always a wonder to me how some people can go through life without humility, or at least compassion for the people stuck with the shitty midnight shift.
Zine-Rex ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:49:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's totally true, though. They usually didn't give a shit. Hell, some even had the nerve to ask us where to find specific items. God I hated that job.
GRYFFIN_WHORE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:53:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Especially slow days and times, that job sucked. Standing around waiting for a customer and just cleaning your check stand sounded like a great job for a lazy teen, but when it feels like an hour has gone by and its only been 15 min and you have 5 hours to go, its your own personal hell. I remember going slower with transactions on slow days, just so I could have human interaction for a few more seconds. I was anti social too, that's how bored I was. At least busy days went by in a flash.
ReadingWhileAtWork ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:40:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was it actually a Liquor Store?
Maybe a Binnys?
Cause this shit happens all the time.
Zine-Rex ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:47:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is a small time grocery, very stratigically placed at the base of a vast well-off white suburb with only 2 entry/exists, with a liquor license. So yes. Shenanigans. Seeing soccor moms pull up a cart literally full of only wine wasn't unusual.
GRYFFIN_WHORE ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:57:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mmhmm and the ones who felt like they needed an excuse, "I'm having a dinner party tonight and I totally forget to buy 20 bottles of wine, silly me!" Sounds like we worked at the same place.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:48:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
shitty grocery*City Grocery
Computationalism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Walmart closes at midnight where I live
StrawberryR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Late night walmart isn't the same as daytime walmart, though. After 10, Customer Service closes, so you won't be able to make returns or do anything you'd need a CS manager to do.
Speaking of manager, most of them clock out before the night shift, so you might have one night manager somewhere, but they take so long to get to the registers ("I want this item half off for no reason! Let me talk to your manager!" or "I'm not 21, let me put in the code to call someone over to scan this alcohol for you,") that the machine actually times out and logs the cashiers off.
But of course, there's only one or maybe two cashiers open at the belts anyway, you probably have to go to self checkout, which only ever has three or four of the eight machines working, so the line is massive. Not to mention that all self checkout machines everywhere are apparently retarded and don't understand why your sewing supplies "aren't in the bagging area" WHEN REALLY THEY'RE TOO LIGHT TO BE DETECTED, and you have to wait 500 years for it to acknowledge you scanned something.
Honestly just don't do your big grocery trips super late at night if you can avoid it. It's inconvenient and even if you go to Walmart, there's no guarantee it's going to be just as nice as if you went during the daytime.
brin2088 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:18:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Classic mom
StabbyPants ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i'd just drag her out and leave the stuff.
iamnothyper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
well, we assumed she'd follow and by then we were locked out while she was locked in haha
MorganWick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...was she able to get out?
iamnothyper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol yea, my dad and i went up to the window and got her attention, and she got a salesperson to unlock everything and pull up the gate door thingy and came out a couple minutes later.
TheNargrath ยท 1153 points ยท Posted at 15:22:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A year ago yesterday, my wife said this to my daughter and I.
Our kittens have been with us for a year as of yesterday. She doesn't leave us alone while she's shopping anymore.
teenitinijenni ยท 515 points ยท Posted at 15:55:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was expecting that to take a much darker turn from the first sentence
TheNargrath ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 16:17:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If there's one thing I've learned from Reddit, it's to bait with the first sentence.
At this point in our relationship, some twenty years in, we joke that we're in a Mexican standoff, seeing who will blink first.
Swordfish08 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:30:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Expecting the story to end with heartache and/or abandonment. Instead it ended with kittens. That's much better!
Spankthenooodle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:47:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I only read yesterday in the first sentence at first, so that made the second sentence pretty dark.
Verlepte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, so you read "Yesterday our kittens have been with us for a year as of yesterday"? That would seem to me more weird than dark.
Spankthenooodle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read "Yesterday, my wife said this to my daughter and I. Our kittens have been with us for a year as of yesterday. She doesn't leave us alone while she's shopping anymore." Still kinda sounds weird though
NewAtThisPlsBKind ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:49:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some say she's still in the store
ballabas ยท 310 points ยท Posted at 15:34:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You went out and got kittens?
[deleted] ยท 202 points ยท Posted at 15:44:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Got to beat the boredom somehow
ballabas ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:03:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, yeah. Pets are fun.
CrimsonSaint150 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:18:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just got my 1st kitten yesterday.
faymouglie ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:14:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Congratulations! What did you name them and what do they look like?
CrimsonSaint150 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:38:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My sister named him Polo. He's 8 weeks old, orange, and has blue eyes.
_TheGreatDekuTree_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:14:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Invest in back up headphones and anything else that has or resembles a cord. Those little furballs love to chew those things in half
hallowed-mh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:24:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This. I can't remember how many Xbox headsets I've gone through over the years. I finally started storing it in a gallon zip bag.
Trav3lingman ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:14:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine ate a very expensive set of sennheiser headphones. Just ate the wiring the foam..........everything.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:04:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've lost a Samsung phone charger because the car liked to chew on the white protective cover--yes, he purposefully stopped at the edge. Lucky bastard cat. And then Samsung has the nerve to charge $45 for a damn cable.
Trav3lingman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Amazon man. You can get an 4 pack of 8 foot cables for like $9. I break so many cables I buy in bulk from monoprice at this point.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The fucking hell? I was lied to by Google.
tigress666 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:11:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just got my 7th and 8th three days ago.
CrimsonSaint150 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dam. Mine's still getting used to everything.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
tigress666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is 7th and 8th in life. Not as in total now ;)
vonmonologue ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:01:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hopefully not with jumper cables.
ShortWoman ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:45:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is an adorable answer to the problem.
Tufflaw ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:26:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not his fault, if a woman leaves a man alone for too long he automatically goes out and gets some new pussy
LemonG34R ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:40:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is even more funny because of the "controversial" marker by RES.
foxyfaerie ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:12:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When my ex and I were still together he had to leave for training for a month and came back to a puppy. I was lonely. I still have my puppy even after moving across country. Dropped the ex though.
TheNargrath ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:11:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a trade well made.
SCAND1UM ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:16:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm confused
Project2r ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:22:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read it as - a year ago, mother father and daughter went shopping. mother goes off on her own, and father and daughter buy a kitten.
mother does not leave father and daughter along while shopping for fear of them buying other random stuff.
rtx447 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:35:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I still have no idea what was said in that post.
TheNargrath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, confused, I'm Dad.
Morineko ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:39:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 11 or so, I was staying home alone for the first time - no baby sitter or anything - while my parents went to the theatre.
Someone knocked on the front door, and I answered. They had a kitten (probably around 4 months old) that they'd found while they were looking at houses. They couldn't take it home, because their two cats were very territorial.
...and that's how I adopted a kitten. My parents were very surprised when they came home to another cat (we already had several). I occasionally wonder that I was ever allowed to stay home alone again.
TheNargrath ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:10:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We really shouldn't have picked up other cats, as I had an old man (at the time, he passed from an until then unknown growth a few months later) who was very territorial. He did eventually like to play with the kittens, on his terms.
A fun artifact of their meeting, is that now, all of our cats will occasionally greet each other with the same growl he used. Not threatening, they do it on friendly terms. Then again, two of our three are total space cadets.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 16:43:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TheNargrath ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:12:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Caffeine: do I speak it?
Not yet today, I don't.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, somebody actually corrected somebody else on the internet without being a asshole. This is history right here.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:56:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
phuckdatphart ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:35:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well,that escalated quickly!!!
AdmAkbar_2016 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:46:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is awesome, great way to make sure she is on time.
Azusanga ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:36:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It took me a very long time to understand what was going on. I thought you meant that your wife said the line about the kittens. I was like "So your cats are 2 years old and now she's banned from shopping alone? Geeeez"
TheNargrath ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:08:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She's effectively banned from shopping alone while out with us. Well, at least after our Slurpees run out.
Aristophan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:19:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad did this with me! My mom took a nap and we got kittens while she slept.
TheNargrath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Surprise!
Please don't Kill us!
Aristophan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:11:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thankfully we had been discussing getting kittens for a few months. My mom was just sad she wasn't part of the selection haha.
Happy_Neko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm really confused by this. Did you make your cats have sex? Did you go buy kittens? Did you find kittens outside? So many questions...
TheNargrath ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:56:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We adopted two little half Ragdoll fuzzbutts.
DoctorOctagonapus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:43:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grammar fixed! You can make up for your mistake by posting pics of your kittens!
StrawberryR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Awww! You have kitties!! <3 That's about the same age my oldest cat is, a year. Do you have pics??
newsjunkee ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:08:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
(daughter and me)
ColdHatesMe ยท 1165 points ยท Posted at 16:06:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I woke up from my nap and went looking for my mom. She was walking out the door and saw me. I asked her where she was going. She handed me my toy truck and said she is going to go out to get something from the car and will be back in 5 minutes and I should go watch tv.
She walked out and I heard the car engine turn on. I noticed it but thought nothing of it. She drove away and that was the last time I saw her. 22 years later that little toy truck still sits on my desk, I sometimes want to throw it away but can't get myself to do it.
superwillis ยท 458 points ยท Posted at 16:56:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So... did your mom run away, or did she get in an accident?
...also, what kind of toy truck was it?
WebbieVanderquack ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 18:31:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The fact that she turned the engine on after saying she was just "going to go out to get something from the car" suggests that she ran away.
hummus12345 ยท 223 points ยท Posted at 19:24:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ford escape?
-del2phi ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 21:05:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well that Escaladed quickly.
donquixote1991 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:56:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wew laddie!
wise_comment ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:28:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus
If this comment was......maybe an hour older this would be gilded and in the 4 figures of Karma
Tough break duderino
Tough break
fallout52389 ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 18:52:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like she was running away from her life never to return. I had it happen with my father when he gave up trying to be a father and just said fuck it.
I__just_lurk ยท 101 points ยท Posted at 17:17:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Asking the important questions!
JustthatITguy ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:06:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably the Hess one
Duckrauhl ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:36:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Citgo gasoline ones were also kind of popular ~20 years ago.
datnewgenius ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 17:45:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If sometimes he feels like throwing the toy truck away, then it's pretty obvious that his mom ran away.
Real_Adam_Sandler ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:44:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is the toy train infused with the DNA of mutant bugs?
Levitus01 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:49:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do bears shit in a catholic?
gigo36 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:16:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well? Do they?
LemonG34R ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:42:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
no
Will_Liferider ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 16:55:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry dude :(
Fallen-star3 ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 16:58:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Currently pregnant with my third. This story broke my heart. My own biological mother left my baby brother with me when he was 16. Sure he was older, but that pain of being rejected by someone who should love you unconditionally hit him badly. I will never understand how a mother can turn her back on her baby like that.... May I ask if you ever spoke to her again, or know why she left?
kennyl ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 17:21:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is getting really sad, really fast.
RhynoD ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 17:44:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, when I saw the question I thought the top answer was going to be something along the lines of "I love you."
AlpacaPower ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:00:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:(
P0sitive_Outlook ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:39:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, someone else probably loves them. And you. Probably.
RhynoD ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:45:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey u/AlpacaPower, I love you.
AlpacaPower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:)
Raven_7306 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:12:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've been seeing you a lot lately
P0sitive_Outlook ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Translation: Get off of Reddit.
Raven_7306 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Translation: Assumption: What are you doing your life?
Syzygye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...
Came in here to post that.
ColdHatesMe ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 20:17:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Never talked to her again. In a way it helped me I think. My dad was working all the time at the factory so I used that anger and alone time to focus on school. With a bit of hard work and mostly luck I ended up getting my MS from a top school and got a banking job making pretty good money for my age. I do notice, I don't have close relationships and just hide behind my work. I don't want to see her and have no plans on trying to find her.
Sonicsamuria ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:57:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have my condolences. I fell included to express how impressive I find your resolve. My life has been a similar tale, but instead of doing what you did I spent the majority of my childhood wallowing in self-pity, unable to cope with my emotions. I often look back and wonder at what could have been if only I were as strong as you back then. Ah well, not much I can do at this point but make the best of it.
FireEagleSix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:24 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a one year old. I don't understand this, either. I will never understand why anyone would walk out on their family.
Abacusxx ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:58:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn man, sorry about that...
Sarnecka ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 16:58:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Goodness lord as a mother this makes me sad and furious on a max level. Im so sorry for you. I'll keep it polite cause there are plenty of words I'd like to use for her.
[deleted] ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 17:40:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My first is two months old and currently sleeping next to me. People told me before he was born that having a child would "give me empathy" for my own parents and make it easier to forgive their mistakes but it's just the opposite--I will never understand how someone can abandon their child. I feel guilty just taking two minutes to shower if he's asking for me. I just can't imagine it.
MuskMassacre ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 18:07:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're still full of hormones. Give it three years!
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 18:25:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No doubt he'll drive me crazy but never to the point of leaving him. Yesterday I left him with his dad to go to the grocery store and ended up watching a video of him in the parking lot not five minutes later because I missed him so much. He and his dad are my entire world.
InvadedByMoops ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:47:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not to the point of leaving him, no, but there will probably be a time where you just stick him in the bedroom while he's throwing a tantrum and let him scream for two hours because you can't deal. Completely understandable.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:15:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh of course. I fully expect that.
Pangolin007 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:10:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aww :)
Syzygye ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:33:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine's 5 and I still agree with everything /u/CariniGambarini said... and I'm a man.
_TheOtherWoman_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have two teenagers. I contemplate running away on a weekly basis. Of course I never would...
Iwaskatt ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:24:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, wow. That makes me sad. Did you ever hear from get again???
ColdHatesMe ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:17:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Never talked to her again. In a way it helped me I think. My dad was working all the time at the factory so I used that anger and alone time to focus on school. With a bit of hard work and mostly luck I ended up getting my MS from a top school and got a banking job making pretty good money for my age. I do notice, I don't have close relationships and just hide behind my work. I don't want to see her and have no plans on trying to find her.
Iwaskatt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:16:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you have done really well! You sound like a nice person. God bless you.
_dawnmariie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
omg :(
reneexxoo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:40:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't throw it.
Fairy_Squad_Mother ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:22:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OK you win the thread.
AlpacaPower ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:01:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I sure hope this isn't the most common lie told by parents.
MuskMassacre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What?
MuskMassacre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh.. OK! No, I think it is, atleast by parents guilty of neglect, which, by the way, is NOT a reason to take someone's kid away! That most likely just means they had freaking life when they were teens, not that the refrigerator is suffering from chronic malnutrition.
dmaterialized ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:17:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry to hear.
wheatfields ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:29:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its ok, Moms can also suck and be horrible people. Mine was too. You don't need her or that toy.
TryingToKeepItSimple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For real? That sucks! Who ended up raising you?
ColdHatesMe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad, he was mostly busy working at the factory, so I just stayed at home and studied mostly.
GAF78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. DAMN. Ouch. Man, motherhood is hard but I promise there was other stuff going on and it wasn't you. I have two little boys and I just want to tuck you in with your toy truck and kiss you on the forehead, even though you're probably 30 now, you sweet innocent thing. I'm sorry.
stopthemadness2015 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well...that one hit me in the heart.
01001101101001011 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry. That's horrible.
bemacy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom left me and my sister at the neighbors house to get diapers...she never came back for us.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd keep that truck dude
Happy_Neko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:24 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:(
Any desire to try and find her? If you don't mind me asking, of course.
SheZowRaisedByWolves ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 16:46:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in my rebellious phase in high school, I used to bring one of those foldable camping stools when I had to go with her to the mall. She used to get so mad at me.
tmishkoor ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:13:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to say "I'll be in and out" and that's how I knew I should've brought my game boy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thankfully when I went somewhere with my dad or mom, they'd let me know I could bring a book or my Gameboy so I was t bored in the car when they wanted to run in somewhere real quick.
jrm2003 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 16:14:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
You've never known true embarrassment until a Dillard's employee mistakes you and your dad for loiterers because your Mom "took 5 minutes" to pick out some work clothes.
"I'm sorry sir, but we're about to close. Can I help you or your son at the register?"
"We're just waiting on my Mom to finish picking out clothes... Can you please tell her. We don't want to be here anymore than you want us to."
Solid_Freakin_Snake ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:54:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm.
Have no idea what Dillard's is, so I've never had an employee there say anything to me.
jrm2003 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:34:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Old person department store. Clothing, Jewelry, Perfume, usually attached to a mall.
StabbyPants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i don't get this, can't you just tell her that the store is closed and she can't buy shit any more?
buttery_shame_cave ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:26:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
or when it's time to leave...
i've walked back into whichever relative's house we're visiting and told me wife 'i'm leaving in five minutes' while making a show of starting the timer on my phone.
it only took having to deal with a severely pissed off wife three, four times to have her take me seriously.
but, i'm not an asshole. i only pull the 'i'm leaving' if she's taken more than 20 minutes from when she had me and the kids get in in the car to join us.
/the real problem is, she's too polite and has a very hard time telling people 'i have to go, let's talk about this another time'
josh_the_misanthrope ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:21:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We have an expression back home: "Une minute de femme". Translated: "A woman's minute" meaning obviously more than a minute.
Top_Gorilla17 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:46:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In fairness this is most likely because yo mama so fat she stretches time.
Secludeddawn ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:01:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Am in shopping mall with mother right now. She said she wouldn't be long. It's 4 hours counting.
BatHickey ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 14:45:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still hate home despot, 20 years later.
Strange_Lorenz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:09:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah some significant others can really rule the home with an iron fist.
Hewkho ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:06:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In 5 minutes is the food ready. Don't start a game. 30 Minutes later. Sitll not ready.
qqqzzzeee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:56:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm really grateful that my dad played games so he always had a good understanding of time it takes to play a game. He'd come down, saying some form of food is almost done telling me not to start a game of League
RebelliaReads ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:39:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think I'm the only person whose mom didn't do this to them. When my mom says __ minutes, she means __ minutes. The only reason why it would go over is if something super important came up
KasseanaTheGreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yes
ArMcK ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:19:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, so much this. Mom went in to Wal-Mart to get some pee pads for her incontinent dog and a battery for something else. Two hours later my phone's dead and I've circled the store six times trying to find her but somehow missed her every time, and she finally comes out of the damn Wal-Mart with a FULL grocery cart and the excuse, "Well, I thought of a couple other things I needed and then time just got away from me." That was seven years ago and I moved to another state to never have to go shopping with her again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once as a kid, when my parents and I went shopping for a handbag, my mom told me we'd be no more than 15 minutes. In my childhood naivete, I didn't put together the fact that she loved to shop with the fact that she loves to chat with the fact that she knew one of the primary salespeople who also loved to chat. Two hours later, guess what the two of them are still doing. Can't tell you how many miles I must have walked around the store. Since then, I use this as a reminder to avoid going shopping downtown with her.
Destinlegends ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:52:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This actually killed me sense of excitement as a child when my mother said she would only be 5 minutes on a phone call which ended up taking two hours as I sit waiting dressed to go out and rent a video game.
losterps ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:38:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I just have to run in and grab one thing"
supapro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As she walks out with a full cart...
President_of_Uganja ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:53:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I called my mom out on this once when she was making me go with her.
"No we're really only going to the one store"
Proceeds to go to 5 and take 3 hours
Lemon_Lords ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:33:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I believe this is what ruined my time perception.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:50:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that takes on a much different meaning, were the question asking about the most common lie fathers tell
josh_bullock ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:46:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I start my first OChem class next week. Hope I'll be as excited about it as your username is
OrgChem_4Life ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you realise it, OChem is the best.
missfarthing ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:47:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's because kids are horrible about imagining how long five minutes is. My son is autistic so he likes everything to be predictable. I'll actually set timers for things and he can't believe how long 5 or 10 minutes really is. He thinks I take forever in the store when really I'm in and out in record time when I want to be. Sometimes I just don't care that he's bored. I'm not rushing so he can get home to play his x-box.
squoril ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
we were told we were leaving our friends house in 5 minutes, 2 suns later we actually left
Speedswiper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was feeling sick one time when we were leaving a restaurant. I told my mom I wanted to go home. "We have to go to the store first. We'll be out soon" I waited in the car thirsty as hell with a headache for half an hour.
MadCrises ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean the doctor said the same thing
cupcake0kitten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
with my mom 5 minutes means an hour in a hot car
PooleParty247 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or "I'm going to the grocery store, I only need a few things. Won't take long."
Ends up buying the store's entire inventory.
Iamnotasexrobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the most common lie told by drug dealers.
nipplelightpride ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My family definitely made "mommy minutes" a thing.
Mankan101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One summer when I was about 10 my mom and I went to the grocery store, I didn't feel like going in so my mom let me stay in the car. She told me she would only be 15 minutes so I didn't think much of it. I waited in a black car in the 95 degree summer weather with no windows rolled down as my mom dicked around in the grocery store. After 20 minutes I started to get really uncomfortable and my mom still hadn't gotten back. I tried to get out but I couldn't seem to unlock the doors. I later found out that the car we had couldn't be opened from the inside if it was locked, as a sort of child safety. I started panicking after maybe 45 min. She didn't get back for 3 fucking hours. I straight up thought I was going to die. It was one of the scariest experiences of my life. I would have just gone in if she told me it was going to be that long. Fuck moms who say that shit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why did she need to bring be? Why?! I didn't understand then and I sure as hell don't now
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I need to get bread and milk". Comes out an hour later with two shopping carts full of groceries
theathenian11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
....was Freeza a mother?
Mako_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My eight year old son usually responds with "Will that be five real minutes?"
notjawn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The worst was if they wanted you to wait in the car. My mom was notorious for making a "grocery store run" where she'd make me wait in the car but she'd sneak over to a clothing boutique for like 45 minutes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For Hispanic moms this translates roughly too "solo voy a tomar un cafesito" which means I'm only gonna have a small cup of coffee. This would happen all the time when you're a little kid and ur mom drags u to family members houses and then u finally get the good news that ur about to go home when the host (usually ur aunt) says "ayyyyy noooo quedate para otro cafe!". As a kid you die on the inside since u know that small coffee just tacked on an extra hour or 2 of ur visit.
nakedcapital ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So true. I just got mad now that I remembered that dirty trick. Ugh.
rayned0wn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad said that once....that was in 1992
KdogCrusader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so glad kids have smart phones now because of this. I used to spend hours in the 90s just sitting and staring at nothing. then I got a Gameboy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My aunt harassed me with this,she went ahead to look for dresses as her marraige was due.She looked for one for 3 straight hours.I missed Tom and Jerry,because of that.
Sethal4395 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm going to bed." (proceeds to do laundry for the next half-hour)
gufcfan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Any amount of time she specifies can be taken to mean twice that.
Top_Gorilla17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a bit of a conservative estimate, don't you think?
HeadlesStBernard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually my dad. Anywhere he goes he is guaranteed to start up a long conversation with someone, whether that person wants to talk or not. I envy his lack of social awkwardness even if sometimes I can see him making other people feel awkward.
infinitezero8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Quick run to Target for toiletries
"Oh.. that's a nice dress, give me 5 minutes in the women department, wait in the checkout line for me"
"okay, if it's only for 5 minutes"
5 Minutes pass, up next in cashiers line
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck... mom hurry the fuck up!"
..
"Cash, credit, or Debit.."
"uhhh... mom??"
"I'm sorry sir, I'll have to put these items aside and help the other customers if you can't pay"
20 minutes later
"I'm back honey, where are all of the items?"
"เฒ _เฒ "
ennuiui ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got a question wrong on an IQ test in like 2nd or 3rd grade because of this. The question was "how long is a minute?" I selected "a very long time," because that's how long it took for my mom to get back when she popped into a store saying "I'll be back in a minute."
The-Iron-Ass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll never understand the pain of having a mother who gets free airline flights.
"I have a friend in New York who can give you a really nice haircut. Don't worry honey we'll be right back."
We went window shopping for three days. I almost went insane.
Kaeleigh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad made up a game called "who sees mommy first"when this happened. Was fun for the first 10 minutes than after 2 hours it looses its touch :/ He tried.
Chickensandcoke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or whenever they are about to speak with their friends
Sochitelya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom, when despairing over what a terrible teenager I was, asked me why I never wanted to go shopping with her like those other girls (the daughters of her friends). I was like, because a shopping trip with you is 8 hours of wandering aimlessly and not letting me buy what I want anyway.
wait_what_where ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This goes along with, we'll leave in 5 minutes. No we won't you're gonna stand there and talk to your friend for another hour.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, my kids love shopping with me. I remember once when they were like 6 and 4 I told them we had to stop for some groceries but it would only take 5 minutes. My 4yo sighed loudly and said "ok". And my daughter pepped up and said "Don't worry, Jake, this is DAD shopping!" And my son smiled and said "Oh, dat's right! I forgot!"
alexvalensi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom is late 45 minutes: "What do you want me to do, fly over traffic?"
You're late 5 minutes: "How long am I supposed to wait for you? Maybe I should thank you for even showing up!"
hotshark4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This made me so mad as a child..
robyrob78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was also said when my mom would get a phone call and I was waiting to go somewhere. 30 minutes later, she'd still be talking to my aunt.
rebelde_sin_causa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The ones less concerned about lying to you about how long it will be say 2 seconds. I hear this a lot. As soon as it's out of their mouth you know it will be a while.
AKluthe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I only need one thing...
Oh, that's a good sale on lunch meat..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Relationship training.
AReadingRainbow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh the time nap. Such a classic.
davesoverhere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your wife will do that to you too.
never_esc_the_sand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also the most common from my wife. Still love her to death though :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember that one, and when I was four I just asked how long a minute was. So I counted all the way to five minutes out loud every single time, and it worked most of the time lol.
sonnyware ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to make the mistake of saying I'll wait in the car thinking she'd actually hold herself to "only 5 minutes."
She didn't.
KindaConfusedIGuess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or when she says "I'm going to get cigarettes, I'll be back in 5 minutes" and then doesn't come back for 3 days, won't say where she's been and is shitfaced wasted.
TKPhresh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Interestingly, this is also a common lie told to wives by their husbands, as in all reality it takes far less than 5 minutes.
AHarderStyle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is still my mom and as a 20-something year old it drives me crazy. We had to run our dog to the vet (last week) for a quick checkup after surgery he had a couple weeks ago. Dogs a big rotty mix, so it's just easier to have me around to keep him calm, he's still a puppy (a 80 lbs puppy). Heading home from that, she says she needs to run to the store for a couple things, will be no problem. I say sure, it's 11:00am, but I have to be home by 11:30 because at noon I've got a test drive of an Audi I was considering buying at the dealership, I don't want to be late, getting a test drive time slot was a pain and I want to make it.
I stay in the car with the dog because it's warm and that way we can keep the AC on. At 11:40 I'm calling her telling her she needs to get back to the car or else I'm driving myself and the dog home to go to my test drive. Get a text saying she's checking out, will be seconds away. Finally shows up at the car at 11:50, I was furious.
Conveniently the dealership called right then to push my appointment back to 12:15, also didn't like the A4 more than the Subaru WRX for the car people who might see this.
OddTheViking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I spent a full 1/2 of my childhood sitting in the car in the parking lot of either the grocery store, or fabric stores.
brickmaster32000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hated this but from the perspective of waiting to leave. Had Math League in the early morning so the first few times I woke up early to make sure we could make it on time. Despite being told we would leave in a sec we never left until practice had already started.
Eventually I gave up and just slept in and lived with constantly being told I should wake up earlier if I wanted to be on time. Guess what I would wake up early if it actually made a difference to when we left.
im_thecat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah you know its going to be longer than 5 minutes. Theres just nothing you can say or do about it.
clipperdouglas29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a baseball game earlier this week. Parents with 4 kids about 3-7 yrs old, kept complaining that there was no shade.
"Oh the shade will be here in about 15 minutes when the sun moves enough."
There was about 10 rows of seats between us and the shade. This was at the beginning of the game at 1PM.
fallout52389 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This shit right here is why I have some hate for my mom. She picks me up from school we head to a casino to eat some foods and we go out I get in the car. She then says hey I'll be right back I'm just going to play a little :) she's gone for 6hrs gambling while I'm in the car. At Least she fed me before hand most of the time...
timryan1019 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was taking my cousins and me to a movie she had to shower and "would be real quick." Comes out of the shower and gets dressed 45 minutes later. We missed Flubber mom
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Koreans have a running joke that there's American time and Korean time.
When Americans say five minutes, they mean five minutes.
When Koreans say five minutes, they mean two hours.
When Americans say 2:30, they mean 2:30.
When Koreans say 2:30, they mean 5:00.
Keitea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oooh loook I just saw one of my friend ! I am just going to say hello !"
pm-me-ur-shlong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh hi Cindy I didn't expect to see you here!"
steemboat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is pretty much the same concept right?
AbanoMex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this is just women in general.
My_blueheaven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother said this... then never returned
tigress666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's more like my husband's lie when going into Home Depot.
lukerobi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a kid I thought 5 minutes was a long time. I remember this effecting me in school as well. "/u/lukerobi how long was your lunch period?" "About 5 minutes."
BoilerMaker11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And it's worse when it's at the end of shopping and you're in line with this huge line behind you, and your mom makes you hold the spot because she forgot something.
"I'll be right back"....it seems like an eternity
Brave_Horatius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Favourite quote from black hawk down
camsnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I believe this is a lot of women though....
gramophonez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I miss this. My mom passed away a decade ago, and I miss even the small annoyances. I would totally go with her to the store today, fully knowing it might take hours.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or when she forgets something at the checkout and runs off to get it...
SoulWager ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm only getting one thing"
aeiluindae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That one was hilarious when I was getting picked up from my best friend's house or vice versa. Both of our mothers would expect us to get ready to go as soon as they arrived. Of course, they'd invariably get into a 45 minute long conversation about who knows what while one of us was waiting to leave and the other was waiting to go back to doing solitary activities. It didn't take long for us to decide that it wasn't worth getting ready right away and we should just keep doing what we had been doing until THEY were actually ready to leave. Of course, that usually resulted in one of the two mothers being unhappy that their son hadn't come when they called and gotten ready to leave. I think I was in Grade 11 (years after we'd moved away from said friend) before I was finally able to make her understand why I never got ready and waited when she came to pick me up back then.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always skips that part and goes straight to "I'll be out in 40 mins. Go do something else," even though my family and I just want to go home.
dannymb87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll never walk into a Pier 1 Imports without thinking of the countless hours I spent in there bored.
MusicalCereal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
and if you wanted candy, you better find a reason to go in with her
Kierik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll only be 5 minutes" this one is particularly deceptive if they are walking into a shop.
FTFY
Zeleiol48 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For me this was always worst when she was on the phone. When I was little we called them "mommy phone minutes." 5 mommy phone minutes was about an hour, iirc.
Macktologist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When did we get into the "wive's lies" thread?
PerfectTommy5035 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Never changes. I never go to the mall with my wife because of this.
wildabeast861 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
espesially when she is asking you to help her out with physical labor, 3 hours in and sweating balls in 106 in texas, "thanks honey" sometimes is good enough others it is not..
bigfinnrider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you've got toddlers giving them a brief time for something is a great trick because they usually can't read a clock and have a really poor perception of time's passage. "Five more minutes" can mean however long you like, but it sounds reasonable and fair so the kid goes with it.
It stops working as they learn and their brains develop.
SuperSonicBoom1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant
[deleted] ยท 2114 points ยท Posted at 15:48:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1162 points ยท Posted at 17:06:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My mom snuck out to go to concerts, wore a leather jacket and owned a snake.
Her advice is more, "Look, I've been there and done that, here's what to avoid."
EDIT: ITT: Reddit badasses who need to show everyone how cool they are
Bartweiss ยท 854 points ยท Posted at 17:38:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The best anti-drug message I ever got was a sketchy drug dealer listing the shit he wouldn't mess with. Those things immediately went on the "no way, no how" list.
skysinsane ยท 390 points ยท Posted at 18:28:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My dad's sage advice when it comes to drugs - "don't do the white stuff"
Edit: In this thread - people that don't know what a rule of thumb is
jpallan ยท 327 points ยท Posted at 18:32:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An alcoholic friend was taken to the hospital for a tear in his esophagus, and after they cauterized it, they cautioned him to stick to a clear liquid diet. "Vodka's a clear liquid."
DoctorJohannesFaust ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 19:35:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
doctors need to work on phrasing apparently
se1ze ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 20:48:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are we still doing phrasing?
rish31 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:26:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hello archer
TizzleDirt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:39:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hello Barry! Hello other Barry.
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 20:03:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
PandoraWraith ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:56:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sprite/7-Up/Sierra Mist are all clearish.
DMagnific ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:09:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lemonade isn't exactly clear
Lacey_Von_Stringer ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:21:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not good lemonade
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:27:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
WodenWodenson ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:46:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lemonade in the US is just lemon juice, water, and sugar
thedarkpurpleone ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:48:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What do you think kids are selling by the road in American movies and tv shows?
DMagnific ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:53:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Woah. Is it sweet or just like citrus flavored soda water?
Axl7879 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:46:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mostly sweet
AdmiralAkbar1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:47:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that stuff is closer to the lemon soda that San Pellegrino sells.
NoRefills60 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 20:09:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, this hits close to home. My friend has been suffering from anorexia for a long time, and she has recently combined her obsession with consuming as few calories as possible with her newfound alcoholism. We would ask her if she was eating. Her response? "Yeah I've been counting the bagel and calories from vodka" Not surprisingly, she almost died before she got back into treatment.
Toubabi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:48:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can't say for sure, but "tear in his esophagus" was likely an esophageal varice, caused by the alcoholism, so that adds an extra dimension to your story.
jpallan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Correct. He's just lucky that they didn't treat it with ice water lavage.
Musicman320 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:17:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But the Molly was an off-white color. Should be safe.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:01:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Almost all drugs are white when it comes in powdered form
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:52:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's kinda the point. If you're avoiding white stuff that means you're basically smoking pit and maybe eating some mushrooms or lsd. Pretty harmless compared to powdered drugs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It totally defeats the point as it gets you just as far as "drugs are bad, mmmkay??"
If people are going to do drugs anyways, it's better to have a "no way, no how" list.
There is a lot of difference between powdered drugs. LSD can also come in powdered form and surprise... it's white.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:14:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LSD does not come in powdered form for anyone except the manufacturer. The active dose of lsd is on the order of 100 micrograms. Micro. As in, millionths of a gram. That's not enough of anything to be a powder. If you get "LSD" that is a white powder, it's not LSD.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:27:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know how small the dosage of LSD is. I'm just saying, LSD is a white crystal that you can grind up to a powder and it's white. Way to take one irrelevant detail out of a comment.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LSD does not come in the form of a white powder. Period. End of story. But you're right, that is beside the point so I'll move on.
Anyway, I don't agree that it just reduces the advice to 'drugs are bad'. Because it allows cannabis and mushrooms, both of which are drugs. And honestly I kinda think that's the point of the advice.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:55:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In its pure form, LSD is a white, odourless and slightly bitter crystalline powder. [...] LSD can also be sold as a powder or as capsules and tablets. The powder may be made into miniature powder pellets called microdots, which are taken by mouth.
Took me less then 2 minutes to find a source.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Any amount of powder in whatever you're buying is not LSD, it's adulterants. Youre literally buying 100 micrograms of something, thats not enough to form a powder at all. With the huge surge in powdered research chemicals, you should never buy LSD if it comes in powdered form.
themindlessone ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:12:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You really don't get the point, do you? 1 gram of chemically pure LSD is a white crystalline solid.
ProdigyLightshow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe the average person cannot get LSD in a white powder form, but it does exist
bluesox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:48:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Solid advice.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:27:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The pills with strange colours? Fuck yeah. - Your dad probably.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:41:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
skysinsane ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:51:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ever heard of a rule of thumb? It doesn't have to be accurate 100% of the time in order to be useful.
Besides, if we are talking about exceptions to the rule, alcohol is one of the most dangerous drugs out there, and he isn't bothered with drinking that.
Tobazz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But heroin is brown...
Husbandweighing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:45:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah cause black tar heroin never hurt anyone...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But caffeine is white.
skysinsane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well I dont drink coffee or soda, so I guess Im following his suggestion.
brettf123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad always said "well... I suppose if you could grow it from a seed it ain't too bad for ya"
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:30:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
brettf123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:01:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well tbf my dad didn't know that opium was a plant until very recently
norseclone ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 18:35:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Racist
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:01:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
gyroda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if a joke or if I'm just not cool enough to know what this means.
fascist_unicorn ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:04:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's Ketamine. It causes disassociation and hallucinations in humans, but usually used as an animal tranquilizer/anesthetic.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ketamine
gyroda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:10:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You see, in my neck of the woods special k is a cereal advertised with a woman in a red swimsuit every summer.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:14:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's where the drug got its street name.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my neck of the woods, its known as a really good time
RageToWin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I too enjoy cereal to an orgasmic degree.
thirdegree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard it called special K though. Just 'k'.
Doogles123 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:36:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What was on the list?
Bartweiss ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 19:06:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
PCP, heroin, and meth were the standouts. I think crack and some 'local specialties' like bath salts and synthetic pot were also on there.
Incidentally, synthetic pot has none of the charming qualities of real pot, and at least where I grew up is more like smoking Drano.
null_work ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:30:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, synthetics tend to be full CB receptor agonists, whereas THC is a partial agonist.
mudra311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think your brain would melt if you smoked Drano
Bartweiss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably would. Synthetic pot is a slightly better, but Wikipedia does give this list of symptoms:
Maybe only one notch above actual Drano.
MrStroopwafel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Blue meth is okay right?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:20:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Bartweiss ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:31:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right?! When Mr. Rogers tells me drugs are bad, I know he means well but I don't think he has a lot of relevant information. When some wild-eyed junkie who hasn't slept in five days tells me they're bad, that's a learning experience.
joyu123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:36:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can you list them for us?
Bartweiss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:06:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, few people have asked.
PCP, meth, and heroin with the big names, he wasn't keen on crack either. After that he had a "nothing local, nothing new" rule that kept him away from a lot of the really deadly synthetic shit of the last decade.
Pixelated_Penguin ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:34:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's how I determined I would never try MDMA... reading an article about researchers looking at how psychadelics can help cure trauma disorders and addiction, and they're saying "Well, MDMA is more effective than LSD, but we're working with LSD because MDMA has the possibility to cause permanent brain damage in a single dose." Yikes. These are people who are advocating for the relaxation of schedule 1 restrictions...
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:17:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:31:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
grapesodabandit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:41:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not the same commenter, but here you go:
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/05/160510084257.htm
null_work ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:33:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some of those studies have incredibly specious conclusions, and without reading into detail, I question the validity of all of them now.
The most jarring thing there is this:
Yes, if you experience something as not jarring, in what world is it a lack of empathy to think others would feel the same?
grapesodabandit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For the record, I agree with you. It's one study with a very small sample size (and the subjects were all Ohio state students, not even general public) and possibly questionable methodology. I do think it warrants further research, though.
null_work ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:35:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't believe MDMA itself is neurotoxic. The problem is that it metabolizes into MDA which is.
Also
Isn't quite correct after reading the studies done on it. It reduces empathy for others pain while they're under the effects of it. What happens is that empathy over someone else's pain is due to your brain processing the idea of pain as you would experience it. Acetaminophen's action in the reduction of your own pain prevents you from processing other people's pain. I have no idea why you think it's permanent.
Bartweiss ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:04:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is totally news to me, I'd love any source?
The only "MDMA causes immediate brain damage" stories I knew were the old ones from ~2000 where it supposedly burned holes in your brain and damaged your spinal cord. Those, at least, were solidly untrue.
sadrice ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:11:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the olney's lesion thing was bullshit. I believe it is well accepted that regular overuse is terrible for you, but that infrequent responsible use is really quite safe.
Bartweiss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:48:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The worst I've seen was the news running MRI "heatmaps" and mistaking "strongly suppressed regions are given dark colors" for "these regions are ceasing to function permanently".
And yeah, a quick look at the Wiki article for Olney's lesions shows a stack of "potentially... at high dose... with regular use... in rats..." and not much else.
null_work ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's possible that it's just reducing blood flow to parts of the default mode network. This is how tryptamine pscyhedelics work, and MDMA has very minor psychedelia associated with it. It's not damaging the brain, only causing it to be less utilized to not utilized (hence the need for less blood flow).
Though MDMA metabolizes to MDA (which is more psychedelic), but MDA is unfortunately neurotoxic.
Bartweiss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, these were activation scans taken during active use, so they were definitely representing low usage rather than damage. I don't know enough about MDMA to speak to why the usage drops, but I'm confident that's what it represented.
Is MDA substantially neurotoxic, or just more so? And are the primary drug effects people take it for from MDMA, or the metabolite?
null_work ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
MDA is rather neurotoxic to your serotonergic receptors. I would guess that people largely take MDMA for its other effects, as it's not really a go to drug for psychedelia -- that's moreso a little added bonus.
thirdegree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ya, if you want some psychedelia just candyflip.
That's a good time.
irobeth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:21:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here you go
IIRC it has a lot to do with MDMA metabolizing to MDA
tl;dr dopamine ends up in serotonin transporter, produces hydrogen peroxide as a metabolite, the hydrogen peroxide attacks the neuron
Pixelated_Penguin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:31:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, this was quite a while ago... on the downslope but not long after the peak of the AIDS epidemic. The article was about how the rush to get effective antiretrovirals had, coincidentally, made it easier to get approval to do research on Schedule 1 drugs. Article in LA Times I think.
madeingina ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:59:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds to me like you need to do some better research mate. No problem at all if you don't wanna do it but honestly your reasoning is just not true :)
eleyte93 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:48:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i hate to be "that guy" but MDMA is just really good fun
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 18:40:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
InvadedByMoops ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 19:03:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but burning through all your serotonin in a night makes you feel like shit for the next month, no thanks.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:18:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
3893liebt3512 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
It's my understanding that it takes upwards of three months for your brain chemicals to go back to what they were before you did MDMA.
Edit: I have experience with taking MDMA, I'm aware of its affects. Just because you feel fine after a couple of days doesn't mean your brain isn't still recovering.
Antidepressants take upwards of 4-6 weeks to fully take effect, but your brain can completely remake its stores of serotonin in two days? I'm not buying it.
323445 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:33:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
source needed
Spadeykins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even so it's gradual, you usually feel fine even off of a bender after a couple days.
thirdegree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is technically true and the reason most people that do MDMA will recommend doing it at most once every 3 months.
But in terms of how you feel? You'll be right as rain in a day or two.
null_work ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:39:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Taking a reasonable amount of MDMA doesn't burn through all your serotonin and doesn't make you feel like shit for a month.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:32:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually that isn't really true. I do E maybe once a month or so and you only feel bad the next day. If I eat a good meal and get lots of sleep, I don't even feel bad the next day. You might be thinking of a month because that's generally whats considered a minimum time between doses if you wanna be really safe about it.
Pixelated_Penguin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:32:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not "will" but "can". At least that's what the leading researchers on psychadelics "knew" at the time (this article was some time ago).
thirdegree ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:57:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The study was badly flawed. And by "badly flawed" I mean instead of giving the monkeys an average dose of MDMA, they instead gave them a massive dose of meth.
https://www.erowid.org/chemicals/mdma/mdma_research2.shtml
cyclenaut ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 18:49:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol there's a reason they call em etards
punkrockscience ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:45:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a neuro researcher: I won't do ANY of it. Functionally, we know absolutely nothing about long term consequences of any of it. No thank you.
null_work ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:41:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's true for many things. MDMA is a bit over hyped, but the tryptamine psychedelics are amazing. To say you'd never try a psychedelic experience out of some overblown fear of the unknown seems odd.
punkrockscience ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:05:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
It's not an overblown fear of the unknown. I know exactly what most drugs are doing to brain chemistry in the short term, and I don't like the implications about what might be happening as a long-term result. I choose not to chance the long-term implications for even an "amazing" short-term experience.
Edit: I'm not judging people who make a different choice. Not my brains, not my call - you do you.
PacoTheLamaHerder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
List?
Bartweiss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
PCP, heroin, and meth were his "trifecta".
He also refused to fuck around with anything regional or new (think bath salts and other synthetics), on the grounds that you never really know what it'll do. Living where we did, most of the 'local' stuff was in fact seriously deadly.
DalkonShield ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Out of curiosity, what was on that list of shit he wouldn't mess with?
Bartweiss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
PCP, heroin, and meth were the big ones, and he didn't like the idea of crack very much. Beyond that, he refused to take anything local or new (i.e. synthetic) because it didn't have a track record or predictable effects.
It's relevant that he was a fairly good guy when you got down to it. Sketchy, but obviously plenty of drug dealers are totally willing to deal and even take those things.
Misundaztood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents told me "If you have to do drugs, go for the natural stuff".
stygyan ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:03:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom didn't know where children came until she was 19, or so she told me, and grew amazed at the thought of kids today knowing about sex.
mechewstaa ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:31:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing she had like a super religious upbringing or something? I can't imagine not knowing until 19
stygyan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:33:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, she was born in 1939, in a small town, just three years after the Spanish Civil War.
It was a different era, specially in ultra-catholic Spain under the regime of the dictator. To top it off, I was a late late child - when I was born my dad was 54, my mom was 43, so there's a huge generation gap.
SC2Humidity ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:27:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is basically my stepdad's advice. He knows, deep down, where I should be fucking up and what he should tell me to avoid. Whenever I piss off my mom (which is a fairly frequent event), he usually tells me how to fix the problem because I usually don't really know.
I'd be totally fucked without him.
Covert_Ruffian ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:13:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thing to avoid #1: Don't get knocked up with OP. Or knock someone up with OP.
BEEF_WIENERS ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:44:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Boring shit. Avoid boring shit. Do NOT avoid concerts, leather jackets, and snakes because that shit is fucking rad."
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:31:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Dad partied pretty hard in his day. The look on his face when he tells me not to go out and get blackout shithoused tells me he's speaking from experience. He isn't warning that it's bad or immoral but that it's not worth the hellish morning after and potential to do really stupid shit.
claytoncash ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:12:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol she sounds like she lived a wild life! A leather jacket and concerts? AND a snake?!
koreth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:40:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, no reason to avoid owning a snake. (Unless it's a venomous one and you haven't been trained in proper handling technique, I suppose.)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:03:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TUNNEL SNAKES RULE
DiscordsTerror ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Tunnel Snakes Rule!"
wubalubadubscrub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is basically what I plan on doing if/when I have kids. It was always "just don't do this thing" from my mom with no real reasoning behind it, but between me and my siblings (who of course pass this info back and forth) we've gleaned enough info about her from back in the day, mostly from her siblings, that it kind of invalidates what she told us.
MorganWick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always say the best spokesman for not smoking is a smoker who knows firsthand what that shit did to him.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is how parenting SHOULD BE. Being open and giving your kids knowledge how to be safe.
thebarbershopwindow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My daughter's aunt (not real aunt, it's my best friend) did exactly that for my daughter. My daughter was speechless when she explained the story about how she lost her virginity under a bridge in the centre of town when she was 13.
Greywolfin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same here my parents are like we made that mistake so we are not gonna let you do it. e.g. drink, party, drugs, staying out late.
sexwound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lmao nice satire
DraconisMarch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:03 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is owning a snake supposed to be rebellious somehow?
FlyLesbianSeagull ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When my mom was 18 she took a motorcycle trip to California and tripped on LSD while driving multiple times.
I remind her of this when she criticizes my choices.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, that doesn't invalidate her criticism, especially if she wouldn't do it again.
FlyLesbianSeagull ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a joke between us. I'm not invalidating her advice as a mom because she did some reckless things as a teenager
flat5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Owned a snake? It's a wonder she ever made it out alive! /s
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:57:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wore a leather jacket?? Concerts?? Wow so cool
TryUsingScience ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:14:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother's stories of her college hangovers were enough to ensure that I will always be a moderate drinker. I don't ever need to still be so drunk the next morning that I have trouble holding onto the floor, while dealing with a splitting headache.
ThatTattooedChick ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 17:47:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad swore that he only tried marijuana once in his life and he didn't like it. Years after my pot-smoking days, my mom exclaimed "your daddy used to be the biggest pothead I'd ever met!" when she subject came up. I thought about it and it finally clicked. He was a full time musician in the 70s and 80s. Of course he smoked on the reg. Damn it, Dad.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:47:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
MyIQis76 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That has gotta be some top teir, itch on the shelf, grade A, billion dollar weed right there.
[deleted] ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 17:11:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom pulled that shit too. Said she never drank or smoked bud (she was a teen in the late '60s/early '70s). Then a family member tells me that she actually did use to drink and smoke, but only on occasion. I didn't believe it until I came home one day And she was drinking a beer, which she tried to hide as soon as she saw me. I was horrified. How could my sweet, innocent mother lie to me? Hahaha.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:29:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:46:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What stunts did she pull?
FuckCazadors ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:53:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jumped over 14 buses on a dirtbike.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:32:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Through a flaming hoop
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:41:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
meeeehhhhhhh ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:16:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to say the same thing. It wasn't until a few years ago when I learned my mom wasn't just smoking tobacco when she went out to have smoke breaks in the garage when we were kids.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My old friend and I caught her mom smoking in her garage, also. This bitch was smoking out of a tin foil pipe so it was easily disposal. Hilarious
TehKatieMonster ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:47:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom got pregnant at 19 with my older brother, the dad abandoned them both. I got pregnant at 19 and my SO not only is a phenomenal father but takes care of me and his baby, but my mom doesn't like him and has a problem with our relationship because we aren't married. Every guy my mom has ever liked that I have dated, has been abusive. My current SO is the only one my dad likes.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:42:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
TehKatieMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Both my parents are severely Catholic
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
TehKatieMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's going good so far. I'm only tempted to smoother him with a pillow sometimes. ;P
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
TehKatieMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Children are the epitome of evil and madness. Proceed with caution.
ToddtheRugerKid ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:56:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One time in senior year my mom was telling me how she would kick my ass if I ever came home Drunk/High, my response was to look at her and say "Now do not tell me you and dad never got drunk in highschool" "No we never did". Upon hearing that my dad yelled "Horseshit" and that was the end of that discussion.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:45:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
ToddtheRugerKid ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:58:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is pretty much the same way about 2 Mohitos in. I am pretty sure anyone that grew up in the seventies is going to be cool, the ones who are not are just hippocrites.
Kate2point718 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:59:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents used to tell us to save our first kiss for the wedding day. Then one day I heard my aunt complain about how whenever she would take my dad to parties he would make out with all her friends.
chalkwalk ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:54:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine use to complain about how difficult her twenties were when I knew for a fact that she was living in a CASTLE in SPAIN with a rotating cast of bohemians, movie stars and a millionaire or two. Also that she was working as a professional photographer for Time/Life straight out of high school who sent her off to Europe with a personal expense account.
NinaLaPirat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:48:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle told me how his big sister and her husband used to grow weed, then pay him with that for babysitting. Of course my dad puts up a front that he's never done anything like that, but my uncle has told me some stories about him too. Littlest siblings know everything.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
NinaLaPirat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
West Virginia.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
lagoon83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Facebook has ruined this for my generation.
quaid4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom sounds like a cool lady
Lizzie7493 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why would a parent lie about something that everyone else knows and will probably come up in open discussion sometime? It's like they're asking to be caught.
Wouldn't it be better to admit they screwed up that one time so that the kids have an idea of what's ahead of them? They're going to do stupid things anyway, the difference is whether they're going to come to the parents for help afterwards or not.
wubalubadubscrub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's an "If I tell them I did X when I was their age, they will think it's OK to do X" way of thinking, at least that's what I think my parents rationale for doing things that way was (or at least my mom). I doubt I'll do it that way if/when I have kids, cause it obviously didn't work for me and my siblings.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
wubalubadubscrub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Drinking with family members is how I found out all this stuff about my parents, but that's cause they were my parents siblings and around while it was all happening.
Goyims ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
mine are the opposite and tell me all the stupid stuff they did and ask why i dont go out more often
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when I got busted with weed my Freshman year of high school. My mom just told me that I should only buy from people I trusted, and never at school. Thanks mom.
remithehobbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did she go to Dartmouth?
Keggy the keg
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
remithehobbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit that's where I'm going
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
remithehobbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whooph, thanks. I declined Dartmouth because I was turned off by the fact that their school brochures were literally advertising and proud of the fact that their "unofficial" mascot is a freaking keg stand.
-sobs- I thought people were more mature in a big city
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
remithehobbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
YOURE SCARING ME
EatSleepCryDie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 16 I smoked pot and got caught. Got grounded and lost everything a teen "needs" like cell phone, car, etc. She grew up in LA in the 70s so I insinuated that she smoked when she was a teenager too. She vehemently denied ten times until Sunday.
A week later I'm at my aunts house (who is 2 years younger than my mom). I mention my punishment and she says "the first time I ever smoked weed was with your mom when she was 18 and I was 16. She was the one who got it for me."
illseeyouanon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom liked to tell stories about all the reckless/dangerous stuff she did when she was younger and then end it with, "But if you ever did that, I'd kill you."
BEEF_WIENERS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit I wanna party with your mom she sounds AWESOME
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
BEEF_WIENERS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, but if I'm looking to climb a tree that's not much fucking help now is it.
punkrockscience ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hah, my mother's like that. To hear her tell it, she was the most perfect, strait-laced individual to ever go to college. No drugs, no drinking, just work and studying.
But she's still friends with her college roommate, who has no incentive to lie. She and her roommate painted their toilet psychedelic colors and made her roommate's boyfriend a papier-mache penis costume (full body sized) for Halloween.
_FadedRoyalty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
yea _FadedRoyalty stay in school your mom here got a full ride to college, she was smart.
She attended a community college for 2 semesters...
edit: clarity
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
_FadedRoyalty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
sorry if that was poorly worded, that's the way my mom spun her BS college story and used it to convince me to study hard. Not the worst thing to get me to do, but it irked me when I found out the truth behind the story
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
_FadedRoyalty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, I only dump on my own mom. And only for the shit she deserves it for. Shes pretty cool most of the time.
The ironic part is, she always used the college thing to paint herself as the smart one of my parents, when shes just a casual stay at home mom, who happened to understand middle/high school math/science. Love her, but she wouldnt be able to hold a job if she tried.
Dad taught me how to actually observe, infer, and draw conclusions....like how to learn for yourself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ghsdkgb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother in law literally did a keg stand at her son's wedding.
dezeiram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom did shit loads of cocaine I'm the 80s.
Then again, who didn't?
Icon_Crash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man, good thing she didn't mention how your mom got the nickname of "Head Nurse", or "DP Queen".
That would have been awkward.
spyderman4g63 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad's stories: "Yeah we were coming down the hill high as all hell in my buddy's transam. Well everyone else why high, not me. Then we rolled it in a graveyard. Don't do drugs."
starwarsfan48 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also, how they never got a grade under an A.
glasspieces ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My in-laws used the opposite tactic on my husband and his brother. They told them all the embarrassing, horrible, WTF drug and end of the 60's through early 80's stories they have in them. It made doing those things seem so lame and stupid to them that they both just avoided all of that crap.
rymden_viking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle told the story of when my dad dropped an M80 in the road drain and everybody's toilet backed up because of it. My dad vigorously denied it, until I overheard him complaining to my uncle and I just jumped out saying "gotcha ya!"
PM_ME_CHUBBY_GALS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom skipped school once as a kid, but she was so scared of getting caught, she hid in a coal bin all day. My mom is such a bad ass.
AWildAnonHasAppeared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So much hypocrisy from both my parents.
Parents would kill me if I even thought of smoking weed, despite both smoking were a lot in their teens.
Parents don't let me eat non kosher despite them never eating kosher until we got born...
Khvostov_7g-02 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For me, it's the opposite. My mom never got a detention in school. My mom didn't get a C on ANY assignment until COLLEGE. She was always so perfect, and of course, now I have a similar brother who is going across the country to get a paid lead role in Billy Elliot at 12. Then he goes to a different company and does it again. He can also play guitar, and play piano. I can play videogames (and some piano, but that's besides the point).
Sawses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...To be fair, if you're in an Ivy League school, you can fucking party all you want as long as your grades are good. Nobody can say a word, since you're in an Ivy League school.
riles_ssss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I smoked pot ONE time and I HATED it!"
JohnnyDarkside ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was a pretty boring geek when in high school. After graduating is when I started drinking, smoking a shit ton of pot (before I was more of just an occasional weekend warrior), and doing mushrooms. Still didn't have sex until I met my now wife. She's my first and only.
siamthailand ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:20:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom's a whore, bro.
Prydwen19 ยท 904 points ยท Posted at 14:11:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We are leaving the house in 5 minutes!
๐๏ธ cant_even_such_wow ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 14:14:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
one eternity later....
TheMightyIrishman ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 15:22:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only ONE eternity?? Lucky...
Now that I have my own place, Dad and I just crack open a cold one and turn on ESPN while we wait for the girls to do whatever it is they do.
[deleted] ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 18:00:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never understood beer or sports. Like, would you drink a can of vinegar and watch stock market commentary? It's the same thing...
THEREJECTDRAGON ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 20:21:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God forbid someone like something you don't...
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:18:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, how dare they?!
TheMightyIrishman ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:07:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like vinegar, could we settle for pickle juice instead? I'm not a huge sports fan either, but I still find them interesting. I could probably watch stock market commentary for a bit, my grandfather was the vp of a bank so it's already in my blood.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 18:12:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, just straight vinegar. And for you, now, it's going to be the weather channel. And not the fancy reality TV shows they do now - for you it'll be the scrolling leaderboards of flight cancellations.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:11:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer tuna water and a mind-numbing documentary on whogivesafuckistan.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now that's just revolting...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:02:40 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not really a sports fan, but I totally understand people who do. And I love beer. It doesn't taste like vinegar to meโwine actually tastes closer to vinegar.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:07 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've never been able to develop a taste for alcohol or coffee. It all tastes equally rancid to me...
redbluegreenyellow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How is something you enjoy the same thing as something you don't enjoy?
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 22:18:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Highly similar things, one enjoyable, the other not. It's curious.
redbluegreenyellow ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:56:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not similar at all, but please continue saying how much better you are because you don't watch sports
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you understand how much better I am.
newxid22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
R u ok?
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:29:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
westlyroots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:06 on August 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then they are so confused why you are acting weird
lark83 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:36:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or less, I don't give a crap who you are, spouse or child, if I have the keys and say I am leaving, for the love of God you better fly or you are going to miss your ride. -
alittleperil ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:48:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my mom was like that, I'm now capable of getting out the door in two minutes from completely asleep if necessary. I know exactly which actions are minimally necessary and which can be added in if I have five, ten, or thirty minutes instead.
She did have to take my little brother to school in his underpants twice to make that stick though.
sdmitch16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did the school let him attend class?
alittleperil ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:49:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once in preschool and once in kindergarten, she threw a set of clothes in the car with him and the teachers were pretty understanding when she dropped him off with an outfit
westlyroots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:52 on August 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once me and my parents apparently had to fucking rush by to the local Meds store for no reason. I had to sit in the car with no pants for 30 minutes.
freckle_juice_mama ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 15:11:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, it's probably your fault that we didn't...
Source: am a mom
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 16:45:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I respectfully disagree, me and my siblings when given "five minutes" would be ready and in the car in under 3. And yet we would sit there waiting for about 20 minutes, and when we asked why it took so long they just said "I was putting on make up". Why do you say "five minutes" when you know it takes longer to put on your make up that you haven't started putting on?
freckle_juice_mama ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:05:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't, personally, but I think moms enter a time vortex of some kind. For me, it's talking. I will talk to my family or in-laws for 25 minutes at the door, while leaving, if I'm allowed to.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's different, you didn't plan on doing that. What really got me is when we were leaving to go over to our extended family's houses, and my mom knew she would put on make up, yet still told us to be ready before she had even started the 30 minute process of putting it on.
freckle_juice_mama ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hah, yeah... that's selfish. I try my best not to be that, so that I can make mistakes elsewhere and it'll all even out. ;)
Tzintzuntzan24 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:23:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't really think talking is an issue unless it becomes a regular problem.
freckle_juice_mama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I meant I've said "Let's go, guys!" and my kids are ready, but I'm still chatting. You'd think I was killing them slowly. "Mommyyyy... can we goooo?"
ghosttrainhobo ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 16:26:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Screw you mom. We shut the game off and now we've been sitting here with our shoes on for ten minutes while you futz around in the bathroom. Its you! You are the reason we are late! It only takes us 60 seconds to get our shoes on. So sick of this...
Pa5trick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They probably spent their time yelling for you to actually start rather than getting themselves ready. I used to be the same way until I was on the other side. It really puts into perspective why parents do what they do.
I'm not a parent but my girlfriends little sister is this way.
freckle_juice_mama ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:59:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bahahahaaa... I don't do this, I swear. I would go without make-up and with my hair wet to work if it weren't such a professional atmosphere. It's YOU, ya puke!
Magma151 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like you. I wish my mom would playfully smack talk me sometimes.
freckle_juice_mama ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:23:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've got joking insults for days. Both of my boys have been called buttheads, buttholes, nerds, weirdos, and then the more affectionate and embarrassing (for them) silly goose. If they weren't cute, they'd already be dead. :)
MaybeAnExpert ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:04:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! Every time we left on a family she'd wake us up at 6am and tell us that we all had to be packed and ready by 10am because we had to drive so many hours to get to our first motel reservation. We'd be packed and ready by noon (not 10am; we were her children, after all) but even after our bags were in the car she'd keep yelling at us to "don't do that, we're leaving in a few minutes" any time she caught us turning on the TV or sneaking a toy out of the car to pass the time. Sometime in the afternoon, in the full heat of the day, my dad would snap and make us all go outside and sit in the car while we waited. We'd sit sweltering in the car for a while and then he would go inside and they would yell at each other and my dad would come out and turn the car on so we'd have AC. We'd sit in the driveway for half an hour and then my mom would come out carrying a tote bag containing sunscreen and batteries and a few other things we had forgotten, convinced that the five hours she spent looking for them had totally rescued the trip from the utter carelessness of us ingrates, because she was the only one who thought and cared enough to make sure we didn't leave the house until she found the mostly-empty bottle of sunscreen she knew we had, and my dad shouldn't complain because he's the one who left it in the closet with the swimming goggles and the baseball gloves instead of in the medicine cabinet where it belonged.
Oh, mom.
freckle_juice_mama ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:11:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's so not me. So many moms being so selfish ITT. Makes me sad.
MaybeAnExpert ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She wasn't selfish. She really thought it would have been a disaster to leave home without the sunscreen.
ManicLord ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:22:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Son, here. Whenever mother said that, I'd tell her "I'm ready." She then proceeded to take several centuries to actually get ready and then blamed me for being late.
I still love that woman.
Vanetia ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:58:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also mom. Yup.
There's a stereotype that women take forever to get ready. Maybe for a lot of them that's true. But I run a brush through my hair and throw on shoes and I'm ready to go. I don't wear makeup and don't have a high maintenance hairstyle.
My daughter also just brushes her hair and throws on her shoes. But it takes her like 5 minutes to brush her hair and another 5 to put shoes on.
I've learned to tell her 10 minutes ahead of time to get ready to go. Even still she's figured that it means she doesn't need to get ready just yet so lately I've told her we're going "now" so she'll actually move her butt a little quicker.
And FWIW, my dad was always the hold up because he'd realize as we're putting on our shoes that he needs to take a shit so we'd sit back down and wait another 30 minutes.
freckle_juice_mama ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:10:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HAHAHA at the shit comment. I fuss at my husband because he's like "I'm ready!" but he still needs to put his shoes on, get his hat, and grab his keys. I'm like "That's not READY. That's almost ready." He still insists I'm wrong. :)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:15:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My husband spends a good 2 hours of every day in the bathroom. Shitting is like his favorite thing to do.
thomas_da_trainn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:46:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol you sound like my mom, keep doing the good work ;)
jpop23mn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kids- Ugh lets go!
Me- you don't even have shoes on!!
freckle_juice_mama ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:11:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
YES. EXACTLY. How can we go if you haven't put on your shoes?
TenNinetythree ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:20:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How reality-blind can you be, it was and has always been your fucking husband who thought of getting ready only when everyone else was already ready to go! But no one was allowed to comment on that because he would scream at us even more if we did! Seriously, Mum, get a fucking divorce! That husband of yours is a manipulative CUNT! But you have somehow been able to shut out everything bad he did to us because "I LURVE HIM"!
(I wrote that as if you were my mother, since you pretended to be! You freckle, of course are not intended)
popeyes-poppedeyes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:35:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When we have plans to leave on a trip the next day, Mom would say what time she wants to leave here by but we ALWAYS leave an hour later!
CRISPR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is a universal lie. We have 20 tickets to resolve in the active sprint!
BH_Andrew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's either the longest 5min or the shortest 5min of your life.
ihayteyerfayce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's when she is lying to herself.
1nsaneMfB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A man's
is the same as a woman's
Aroniense21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was my aunt for a trip to the amusement park. She was like "Okay we're going to be leaving at 6 am because that way we'll avoid other people, so we have to wake up at 4 am." And we do wake up at 4 am, and everyone but her is ready.
We ended up leaving for the amusement park by 10 am.
PeanutButter707 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then as soon as everyone else is ready, she suddenly has to use the bathroom and then loses her keys
ColonelSanders_1930 ยท 17867 points ยท Posted at 13:18:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't know what happened to that loud obnoxious toy you love to play with every waking moment"
Tang_Fan ยท 7222 points ยท Posted at 14:10:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also - "Sorry sweetheart, they don't make the batteries for that toy anymore" when asked by my then three year old why his toy vacuum cleaner doesn't work.
It took standard AA batteries but the bloody thing was ten times louder than the actual vacuum cleaner.
ryken ยท 5106 points ยท Posted at 15:09:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Friends down the block have just never told their kids that batteries being replaced is even a thing. When the batteries die, that toy is just done making noise/light/etc forever.
cardmanmoose ยท 2069 points ยท Posted at 16:10:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My kids didn't know about batteries until they were at least 4. Their toys were just broken. They managed to learn about batteries on their own around 4 or 5 years old. Now we just tell them we're out of batteries and they remind us every time we go to the store.
ryken ยท 1229 points ยท Posted at 16:17:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We just try our damn hardest to not allow any noise making toys into the house. Thankfully our kid is perfectly content to play with his wooden train sets and non-electronic trucks (of a million shapes and sizes).
cafedream ยท 2812 points ยท Posted at 17:51:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We asked relatives and friends not to buy them loud toys. My sister-in-law bought my 2 yr old a keyboard. The batteries never completely died, it just started making a horrible screaming cat sound. The very next time one of her kids had a gift receiving event, I got them a 1000 piece fairy body art set (stickers, tattoos, body paint, etc). She never bought my kids an obnoxious present again.
[deleted] ยท 1482 points ยท Posted at 18:16:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is warfare
darthcoder ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 18:23:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is no such thing as too much overkill, /u/cafedream. Hold the line!
[deleted] ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 18:37:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unless it's a pound of glitter. That's when shit gets really real.
C0lMustard ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 19:02:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh there would be an butload of glitter in a fairy body art set.
2059FF ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:11:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A buttload, Mr. President.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:16:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
With the amount of stuff they usually put in kits like that I really think extra glitter would be best. I mean it is war after all.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:14:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's practically a mob hit
celticchrys ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:31:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OMG, yes. I've seen this! "Fairy dust" still in the carpets 6 months later, after many vacuumings!
Ds_Advocate ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:21:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Misread pound as pond and got curious about the logistics involved :(
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:10:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That there is mutually assured destruction. Both sides know the other can use it. Neither side wants to be the first one.
slaaitch ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:42:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is no overkill, only "yep, he's dead" and "fucker's still moving, hit him again."
zarex95 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:45:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah. Hunting bunnies with nukes would be an excellent example of overkill.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:46:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, I think it's just enough kill.
duchessofeire ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:06:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is only "open fire" and "time to reload."
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:33:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:55:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holine.
cafedream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Awwww... Too soon. :(
Enjolras1781 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:36:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Drum kit. Equivalent to a tactical thermonuclear deployment.
GameRender ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:00:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Love isn't always on time!
cafedream ยท 102 points ยท Posted at 18:42:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't like protracted battles. I plan and use a calculated strike to decimate my opponent and win the war.
There was one time a former friend attempted to get mu MIL fired and I used the friend's bank statement to order a giant purple buttplug from Adam & Eve, requesting all promo materials be sent as well, and had it mailed to her at work. She left that job a couple months later and for about a year after she left, A&E was still mailing her promo materials to that work address.
mhbluemike ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 18:54:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit. They have a family!
Remind me to never piss off u/cafedream.
cafedream ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 20:01:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm usually pretty nice. But if I hit that point, it's go big or go home. And I love a gift that keeps on giving. This particular time happened about 15 years ago. The deal with my son was 7 years ago. Seems like I'm due for some mayhem.
UncleTogie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:12:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My personal favorite is to wait until the family has a road trip and then give each of the kids a Bop-It.
HellblazerPrime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You.
I like you.
0drew0 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:02:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's /r/ProRevenge level. Yikes.
battraman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:25:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is Modern War.
immoralwhore ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:45:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
๐ .... I want to be like you when I grow up
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:00:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 19:28:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Tasgall ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:18:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No one at my school attempted to mess with my house because people at my school weren't awful people...
DMercenary ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:40:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Welll...
I guess, Mission Accomplished.
HeroFromHyrule ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:34:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously. Forking somebody's lawn is a harmless prank, the retaliation here is way over-escalating.
polkadotdream ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:36:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It also sounds like they wasted quite a bit of money, which didn't really hurt the target so much as themselves...
theniceguytroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hay and a pumpkin can't be too expensive, they got the toilet from a junkyard and the clothes from Salvation Army. The manure was probably the most expensive thing there.
polkadotdream ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:10:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Still more expensive than a pack of plastic forks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, yeah, they're going to have to move all that manure yes.
But you had to move it first.
sonofherb ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:45:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, manure isn't as bad as most other animals' crap. I'd way rather move a couple yards manure than the equivalent of human shit, dog shit, or cat shit.
hewhoreddits6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:20 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, OP sounds like an asshole. I'm glad you're calling him/her out on the fact that escalating to that level is not something one should be proud of.
HeartChees3 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:16:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pics or shens dude
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
HeartChees3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What did you do with the political candidate signs?
IdesBunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
shens?
Iorith ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:16:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guessing Shenanigans.
banjowashisnameo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are just a crazy dude. A full on psycho response to a harmless prank? People like you get locked up sooner or lter
lMETHANBRADBERRY ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:40:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cool story, but sounds like bullshit.
edwardellis_ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:11:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
THIS IS SPARTA!
videoflyguy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:10:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And /u/cafedream went nuclear after one gift...
cafedream ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:46:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't have if we hadn't made a specific request. My ex also has 4 siblings and we had to send a very clear message about the repercussions of their actions.
hustl3tree5 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:43:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's why you don't have any kids so you are always winning.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
War. War never changes.
ThatParanoidPenguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Advanced warfare.
cupofteathen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You could almost say it's... toyfare
Neckwrecker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is Sparta
tucci007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Technically, it's 'war by proxy', where 2 superpowers fight each other using puppet nations.
novelty_bone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Call of Duty: Parental Warfare
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit my son is 6 months old and now I have the solution to a problem I have yet to experience!!!! This is great!!!
stirstirs14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My aunt never really gave my brother or sister gifts for birthdays and such while my parents still gave her kids presents and things useful for my aunt to take them shopping or whatever. So last Christmas my dad got her son a little toy fishing set. It was magnetic to get the fish and the fish could float, probably to be in a pool or something. Well my dad told the kid to my play with it when in the bathroom or etc and the kid ended up placing them in the toilet after going to the bathroom. My aunt was forced to pick them out (with gloves yet still) and that is how my parents got back at my aunt for never really giving gifts to my brother and sister.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had one of those!
[deleted] ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 18:46:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my sweet 84 year old grandma got my kids a stuffed chicken toy. I think it was meant for adults. It was labelled "anger management chicken" the chicken would sing the 'chicken dance song' at increasing tempo and higher pitch until you grasped it firmly about the neck and squeezed with all your might. Then the creature's cheeks would light up red, it would make choking noises and finally shut up. I'm sure grandma really wasn't aware of how annoying this chicken really was, but boy was it awful. After it ran out of batteries I put it in the donation bin. Kids occasionally ask what happened to the chicken. I tell them it must have got donated 'by accident'.
[deleted] ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 18:52:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So you need to choke your chicken to get rid of your aggression?
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:26:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This company also makes a monkey you have to spank (for new parents) and an elephant's trunk you have to tug (anger management).
kevinkit ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 18:55:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I found a link to a video of these. Holy shit.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:30:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is so fucked up and I kind of want one.
ramsay_baggins ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:41:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck!
alicevirgo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's so awful...
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:53:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have always been able to prove the existence of Santa to my kids, by convincing them there is no way I would buy a noisy, annoying toy like the ones Santa brings.
PlanetStarbux ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:02:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The worst for us were the talking puzzles. Slightest move and they'll make whatever stupid noise. We gave our son one that had some really creepy sounding clown laugh that would go off when I was walking on the other side of the house. Still haunts me...still haunts me.
pjcrusader ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:58:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife got our nephew a sticker book with over 1000 stickers fir his third birthday. I was against that because of the potential of getting stickers everywhere. She said she was just doing the obnoxious gift before her brother gets the chance.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:36:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I get the strategic importance of a first strike, however your wife must not believe in the M.A.D. theory. She's begun a war in which there is no winners. May God have mercy on your souls.
noggin-scratcher ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:48:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A first strike is really only a strategic success if it destroys your opponent's ability to retaliate before they can fire back. Making the 'first strike' in this gift war even more futile than in an actual nuclear exchange.
Unless she's hoping that the brother will be too exhausted from the annoyance of stickers everywhere to find the mental energy to think of an annoying gift to send back.
pjcrusader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was pretty much my thinking. We don't have kids yet but now we have ensured that her brother will get annoying gifts.
stealthxstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was little I LOOOOOVED stickers. My dad used to take me to this kid's toy store called Zany Brany, they mostly sold educational toys but they had an insane sticker section. I had a big sticker book (all of the pages were wax paper) and every week my dad would let me pick out one pack of stickers to get. I stuck them on everything; I'm 26 and only just moved out of my childhood home, and I found stickers all over in weird places while packing.
HorseIsHypnotist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:31:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My son got one of those. I gave him free reign to put them anywhere on his own furniture in his room that he wanted. So long as none got on the walls or carpet. His bed and night stand are completely covered.
justcallmezach ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:08:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that. I took the scorched earth approach and bought my 2 year old a drum set for her birthday. Her smart ass uncle looked like I shit in his cheerios because he bought her a toy strictly based on how much he thought the sound would bug us.
Nobody even bothers with loud toys anymore. You will fucking not out-loud a toddler on a drum set.
HuoXue ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:41:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The next step is to introduce your kid to Oreos dipped in coffee. My grandpa did this when he'd come to visit, and took off just before it kicked in.
If you think you can't out loud a toddler on a drum set, you haven't seen that toddler on a caffeine-sugar-rush combo.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:12:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is what Saddam did to piss off Bush. It all makes sense.
SeekerOfSerenity ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:34:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What, no glitter?
CheshireSwift ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:38:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You don't go giving someone's kid herpes, craft or no.
HiDDENk00l ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/nocontext
UpvotesForLaughs ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:39:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy
cafedream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was fairies... Of course there was glitter! Just not loose. Sparkly stickers and face paint.
ReverendPoopyPants ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:05:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My SO and I were the first to have kids on both sides of the family. We informed everyone we were keeping track of what annoying gifts they gave andare not above petty revenge.
grubas ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:16:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't have kids, my sister has tried to kill me more than once after witnessing the gifts I get her kids.
just_engraver_things ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:19:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The best part is you got your revenge and probably made that kid's day.
CaboseTheMoose ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:14:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A keyboard? Well you gotta start pc gaming early I guess.
alicevirgo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:05:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow I didn't even understand the keyboard in the original comment until I read yours.
Diablo165 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:58:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
GANGSTA.
PM_ME_DEM_NIPPIES ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:06:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My go-to present for every new niece, nephew or friends kid is the drum kit. You can get them off Amazon for about a tenner and boy can you make a racket. Yes, I'm that uncle.
dontthink19 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You monster!!! That's just the perfect thing. Now I have ideas for when I have to deal with my brother's douchebaggery.
ibrakeforsquirrels ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:41:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My kids are now 3 and 4 but two years ago we got a gift that consisted of cymbals, a set of maracas, a cowbell, a drum and castanets in a box with a half dozen drum sticks..I got my revenge by gifting their child with a "Make Your Own Perfume" kit.
froschkonig ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:49:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As an uncle with no kids myself, I set out to buy the loudest most obnoxious toys for my niece's and nephew. It's my duty to do such haha
MrsMeredith ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of the fire truck my brother got given when he was three or four. It was magnificent, and I can't remember the batteries ever dying when I was a kid. It had the best siren sound and we would play with it for HOURS.
Then the uncle who gave it to us started having kids. We were in our teens and did not play with the fire truck anymore. My Dad replaced the batteries and gave it to my cousins, who love it as fiercely as we did and also take it everywhere. It can never be disappeared to the place where obnoxious toys are hidden.
Kwes1993 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:53:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back when my mom was alive she had a Christmas/Birthday war with her sister when it came to presents. Starting since my cousins my siblings and myself were toddlers. They always made a point to get the most obnoxious, loud, and messy presents possible for their niece's and nephews. It escalated to the point that we received glitter bombs and marshmallow launchers, tons of body art, face paint, wall markers. Anything obnoxious you can think of, we probably received at some point.
ksemel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My SIL gave my 3 year old a keyboard this Christmas. When she opened it my husband looked at her with his saddest face and said "I thought we loved each other"
My in laws got her a tiny actual piano (non-electric) when she was 1. That thing is so hidden in our attic right now. So so hidden.
hhurdd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm extremely thankful for my sister-in-law and brother-in-law. Before I was in the picture my husband bought my niece the loudest, most annoying toys on the market. I stopped that real quick. Now they don't get our daughter anything outrageous. There was a barn incident on her first birthday from them, so they got a Fur Real friend for Christmas. We got sand toys this birthday.
Then the other aunt and uncle only buy her stuffed animals or babies and we do the same for their two. Babies and barbies.
kleinePfoten ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:20:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But you forgot the glitter!!
cafedream ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:35:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha! I mentioned it in a reply to a similar comment, but the stickers and all were glittery. It's a fairy themed kit - there has to be glitter!
kleinePfoten ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:39:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes good, you did well.
2_Headed_Cat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:21:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, my sister and I had a keyboard too. A cheap one that made really annoying sounds. We loved that thing, but I'm sure my parents hated it. Especially that button that gave you a beat to play along to.
TheLegendOfUNSC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:21:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/pettyrevenge
cafedream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I <3 this subreddit.
apostasism ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:30:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got my friends kid a wooden xylophone, but it was wood, not metal, so it wasn't that loud. So that's OK
Right?
cafedream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But you also get points off for there being no batteries to remove... Err go dead. :)
apostasism ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:48:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
True. But the kid got so many presents at her party it's probably buried or tossed by now anyways
cafedream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really, a wood xylophone isn't so bad. It's not super loud.
apostasism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know. I tried it before I gave it to her. And she hit it a few times after opening and it wasn't too bad. I thought it was a good idea!
cafedream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't be mad at that at all. I was just teasing about you losing points. Plus, maybe I'm wrong because I only have boys, but I have distinct idea that girls are generally quieter with everything than boys.
My boys could make a pillow obnoxiously loud. Lol
apostasism ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:24:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah I know. And this girl is certainly not quiet
Kryptosis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:39:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oo! Mommy look, auntie got me a box of wall crayons!"
cafedream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Those would get "lost" in all the wrapping paper and boxes and would never make it home.
pocketpants ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:48:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like you.
eek04 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Heh. I've bought my sister's kids a keyboard, but I cleared it with her beforehand.
The worst we've had is somebody that gave our kids a pet without clearing with us beforehand.
cafedream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my. That's so rude! I don't even know how I would react if someone gave my kids an animal without checking with me.
ActualButt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait wait wait...you can't get mad at a keyboard, even if it is annoying. They're trying to encourage creativity! It's a musical instrument! I could understand if it was like a toy ray gun or something that just went WEEOOWEEOOWEEOOWEEOOWEEOOWEEOOWEEOO for as long as you held down the trigger, but a musical instrument should be exempt I would think.
That said, if it was truly an annoying gift, the body art thing is fucking savage payback and I congratulate you on that.
FierceDeity_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who is this evil person who designs toys where the half dead batteries make it MORE obnoxious just so you replace them and make it ok sounding again
cafedream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure they work in China at the factory that produces ALL of the dollar store toys.
FierceDeity_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"kekekeke those damn Americunt capitalists don't know what's coming"
footpole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:00:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bought a megaphone as revenge gift for the keyboard my wife's sister bought our kid. They didn't appreciate it.
cafedream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's awesome!!
city-runner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:46:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is entirely how my family approaches presents for the little kids. We have a big christmas...4 generations, so quite a few young ones. Everyone gets the young kids the loudest, most obnoxious toy they can find.
Roryab07 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:10:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My sister kept sending noisy things as presents. Some of the worst were the musical instrument set complete with a real triangle, and a keyboard that morphed kids voices into weird sounds. She never gifted anything that didn't make noise, and implied that I was depriving my kid of fun by not getting her enough loud things. Last Christmas I sent toy crossbow sets to her already hyper young boys, which they are still wreaking havoc with. She has been trying to accidentally lose them for awhile now. The revenge was glorious and we called a truce.
cafedream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love it!
Famousoriginalme ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:20:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Genius! I thought the Sharpie multicolor variety pack was great, but this is amazing.
tourmaline82 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:58:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, my sister gave her stepkids shepherd's whistles once to get back at their mother (who has primary custody) for something or other. Shepherd's whistles are used to signal a sheepdog from across the field so the shepherd doesn't have to yell commands. As such they are really fucking loud. And shrill.
Tennessean ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:25:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your sister-in-law is a quitter. Escalation is the only answer.
Tigerzombie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:44:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents' friends gave my then 2 year old a drum set. Luckily it was missing some parts and had to be returned.
OreBear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a younger brother with no kids, I admit I used to buy my older brothers son the noisiest toys just to mess with my brother.
weasel-like ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:00:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Next time get whistles. Talk about savagery
ammylouise ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum had three younger brothers and was a teenager when she got pregnant. I was nine when my first cousin was born. At that stage, she started sending me in to buy presents for the family - she'd come in and approve/pay. Her only request was for me to get the loudest toys possible, as she'd suffered it for nine years with no revenge.
KingPapaDaddy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:45:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
think i'd of kept it for kinky sexy time with the missus
cafedream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm almost too scared to ask... but curiosity is winning over (and I could use some new ideas). How in the world would you use a child's musical keyboard for kinky sexy time? Or are you referring to the body art kit?
bryan_sensei ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:06:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You want warfare? Get their kids a drum set. Loud as fuck as doesn't require batteries.
Sawses ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:48:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Duly noted. Will give future wife (if ever x.x) this idea if she doesn't come to it on her own.
TheLaramieReject ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:58:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Aunty to a lot of kids, but mother to none. I can't tell you what measure of devious joy I get out of giving children horrifically noisy toys. I know, I know. I'm a monster.
Highlights include: a Tickle Me Elmo armchair that giggled and vibrated (second Christmas), a remote control helicopter (fifth birthday), and a light-up plastic toy drumset that makes a variety of snare and cymbal sounds (first birthday).
I always include a huge package of batteries. Last Christmas, I got my niece several rechargeable AAs.
I'm your worst nightmare.
cafedream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's funny! The armchair would be the only thing that could present a problem. A one year old is easily distracted and the drum can be put away when I can't take it anymore. The helicopter would be broken by my boys within 5 minutes. :)
An armchair? How the heck am I gonna hide an armchair???
owningmclovin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My little cousin got a toy xylophone for his birthday one time. I have never seen a mom so pissed at her child's enjoyment
pennypoppet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:45:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For jollies, I once nearly bought a harmonica for my friend's four year old. When I laughed and told her how close I was to buying it she told me she would have stuck it up my butt and to not even joke about things like that.
StrawberryR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:27:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Buy her kids massive tubs of fine glitter.
cafedream ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:48:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend once get my kids those decorative bottles and colored sand to fill them. That stuff got everywhere. If they added glitter to it, it would probably sell like hotcakes to little girls and women who like to decorate with everything sparkly and would be pretty in those bottles.
ZetsubouZolo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:16:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of an episode of king of queens where Doug and carry hold a grudge against deacon and kelly and give their son a drum set for his birthday. Passive agressive purity
sonic_sabbath ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:53:31 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What else are relatives for but to buy the loudest, most annoying toys in the world?
My daughter is my parents first granddaughter and they keep buying loud toys as "payback" for when I was little as they put it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:19:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Congrats. We're all so proud of you.
*In case anyone was wondering. Said person was bragging about deciding to not have kids.
Ryelen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If I like you, I will buy your child a fun but quiet toy for their birthday / event. If I don't like you or you pissed me off recently. I will buy them the Glitter Shooting Noisemaker 3000 they have always wanted.
badwolf691 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As an expectant mother next month who hates all noisey toys, I'm taking the piano tummy time off my registry right now. Thank you for reminding me it's a stupid idea. I just wanted to encourage him to play music
cafedream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Random PSA to an expectant mom - the Fisher Price Laugh & Learn Love to Play Puppy will randomly go off, laughing and talking when the batteries are low. That really jacked with my head for a while.
badwolf691 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:38:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kids toys are so creepy... thank you
singularineet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bought my friend's four-year-old a genuine Irish penny whistle. Ha take that! He tried to get me to help him convince kiddo it was an "outside" toy.
cafedream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Convince... Ha! My kids have learned that if they blow a whistle inside the house, they lose it.
I do my best to let them play and be boys, even noisy boys, but I have some parameters. I pretty much want to pick out noisy toys because I know what I can tolerate. I approved a replica leaf blower and chain saw even though they are loud, because I heard them in store and it wasn't too crazy.
I swear I'm don't insist on a silent house! :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/pettyrevenge
iamdrinking ยท 505 points ยท Posted at 17:36:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As the youngest sibling of 3 and the only one with no kids yet. I get my nieces the loudest toys I can find. Payback is gonna be a bitch.
KeyWestJuan ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 18:18:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I never fire the first shot, but the first loud gift that comes to our kid gets repaid with drums. We've given 2 of our nephews toy drums. We don't get visited much any more...
DoryS111 ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 18:32:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had an uncle who was stone deaf from birth. Every Christmas he gave my brother and me the loudest toys he could find and sat back peacefully enjoying the holiday while my mother gave him the stink eye every time she looked his way. Both my mother and her brother, my uncle, are gone now but it is still a funny memory my younger bro & I share today. BTW, my uncle was a life long bachelor.
RainingHammers ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:56:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Based uncle
Oblivious_Paladin ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 18:45:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My aunt thought it was cute to do that when I was little. Then her oldest was born 3 months before my little sister. It was war. They tried every year to outdo each other at Christmas and birthdays for the not just the noisiest, but most obnoxious gifts. They finally called a truce one Christmas when my mom bought her youngest (about 3or 4 years old) one of those wooden peg board things that you drove the pegs through the board with an actual miniature claw hammer, and my aunt bought me and my sister each those ping pong ball guns and a 100 pack of ping pong balls (this was the mid 80's version in which the ping pong balls came out with bruising force). It was glorious for us kids, but now as a parent, I realize how close murder was to the table all those years.
ChristophColombo ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:56:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh, yeah, my aunt bought one of those for me when I was little. My parents paid it back with drums. There was definitely some salt over that one.
southsideson ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:46:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish they stir made that radio shack fireman siren hat.
_Liaison_ ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:45:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do this as well. My niece and nephew get every musical thing appropriate for their age group. My brother hates me (and I don't plan on procreating so no payback)
dontthink19 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:32:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't plan on procreating either. My brother has 2 kids. They will most likely get loud toys when they get older :)
TheTartanDervish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:49:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Musical instruments are what 5am on Christmas morning was invented for :)
Drunkstrider ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:30:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dont have kids. And just keep buying the biggest loudest toys possible.
Chiappone ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:41:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As the oldest of 3, my nieces get whatever candy/ toys they want. Payback for driving me crazy as the oldest & getting to see each younger sibling get away with more and more bullshit that my parents would've never let fly with me.
KryptonianNerd ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:37:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm exactly the same. Last Christmas I got them all recorders, but not ones that could actually make a nice noise, the ones that are just loud and screechy and can be used as a blunt weapon
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are evil.
Marry me?
-del2phi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Poser. Real shitlords buy kazoos for their niblings.
Horkpork ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:52:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Joke's on them, no kids for you!
leezer99 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:35:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Drum kits are the best kind of evil.
flirppitty-flirp ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:15:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The batteries NEVER run out. Mmmwwwaahhaahaaa!
wartornhero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I have a rule that we don't give kids toys without a quick way to remove batteries.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:54:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
probably not, my lil sis did that to me, and I buy her kids awesome educational toys I wish I knew about when my kids were young.
patb2015 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, my buddy from college used to do that . He'd buy the nephews battery powered musical instruments as parting gifts.
Zer0DotFive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup I bought my cousin's kid a mini drum set for his birthday. Kid loves makes noise with it
PrrrromotionGiven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Calm down there, Satan. Seriously though you deserve whatever you get from them.
ChristophColombo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, my aunt learned that one the hard way. She gave my brother and I all kinds of loud, obnoxious toys before she had kids, then acted shocked when my parents bought my cousin a drum set.
jollyfreek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Brother of 3, uncle of 5.5(1 boy, 1 girl, 3 cats, and 1 in the oven). My toy methodology is this: Buy the cheapest toy with the easiest accessible noise maker. Toy makes noise by shaking? PERFECT! Toy makes noise by pressing the most obvious button? Great! Toy makes noise by pressing one of multiple smaller buttons? Good!
roonling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My sister is 8 1/2 months along. I have already started planning what to buy toy-wise and promised to teach my soontobeniece all my habits that annoy her! Cracking knuckles, dancing eyebrows, sound effects, the whole shebang.
ActualButt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the pleasures of being /r/childfree
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I see...
CrazyCoKids ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah I got a better way to get back at my sister.
If she has kids... Encourage them to go into Debate. That will teach her for the years of abuse!
JaineLain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gifts like these come with us to the buyer's house on the next visit, and then are "accidentally" left there. Nana bought it, let her listen to that shit!
Postmortal_Pop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm older than all of my familial generation by 3 years and thus the first to have a kid. I'm also the guy that taught all the other kids how to annoy the parents. I have 7 aunts with a collective 13 children worth of devious shit that my child is going to learn.
random_side_note ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm really excited, because as the eldest in my family, knowing full well my brother and sister plan on having kids with their partners, and i never will, i have so many more opportunities to annoy my brother and sister coming up!
audigex ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:08:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is what aunts and uncles are for, though. My mission at Christmas is to make sure my nephews receive the loudest, most irritating toys I can find
Serves my sister right for giving me vinegar instead of cola when I was thirsty at the zoo :(
RUBY_FELL ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:18:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why did your sister have vinegar at the zoo?
audigex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's a restaurant
BUILDHIGHENERGYWALLS ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:26:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a common euphemism for vaginal discharge.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:09:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
no musical instruments though? :(
Sierra_Oscar_Lima ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 17:26:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything is a drum.
RageNorge ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:57:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even your head.
But for real, there is a technique from some tribe or some shit where you temporarily get rid of tinnitus.
It's called beating the heavenly drum or something.
What you do is you hold your hands over your ears, put your fingers on the back of your head, put your index finger on top of your middle finger and slam your index finger into your head.
Do this fifty times and LO AND BEHOLD... Silence doctor
I don't know why i'm telling you this..
youngdrugs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:03:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is reaaally neat. Thank you haha
RageNorge ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:09:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tried it?
youngdrugs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:13:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do not have ringing ears atm. But I will maybe try this!
xxamedaeusxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We were allowed to play with pots and pans in my house as drums, but only if dad was awake.
AnArcher ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:46:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We're not all Amish on reddit, though.
tantrum_hr ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:50:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should reconsider being friends with people that gift your children loud toys. There is high chance they are in proxy war with you due to grudge over some meaningless matter.
darthcoder ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:25:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be that guy, simply because as a kidless person I thought it was fun. Now I have godchildren, and there's only so much of that stupid Minion fart gun a man can take.
I have been redeemed.
ryken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom can't help herself. I'm not ready to give up on our otherwise amazing relationship due to that, but thanks for the advice.
Dopeaz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:02:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's harsh. 2 minutes with a screwdriver and wire clippers to neuter the speakers in annoying toys is all it takes.
Shovelbum26 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:10:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I have literally told all our friends and family that we have a ban on loud and brightly flashing electric toys. We claim it's because we don't want the child "overstimulated" but really it's just for us. The kid doesn't care. Kids are just as happy with non-electric toys.
The noisy, flashy ones exist because they get noticed on the shelf by kids, not because they're more fun.
darthcoder ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:26:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know. That Minion fart gun is a fucking blast! :-)
Sixray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man my childhood in the early 90s would have been completely different without ridiculous power rangers pew pew toys.
Shovelbum26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I'm not totally ideologically against technological toys. I have some great memories of ridiculous tech toys that I had a blast with (like Laser Tag!).
It's more there are so many that are designed to be intrusive with their noise and flashing lights to catch the attention of kids in the toy store. And that works to get the kid to grab it out of the 500 other toys in the store and ask the parents to get it for them, but it's also why parents quickly get sick of them. They're designed to be picked out specifically in a mass of other toys competing for attention of the shelf!
So not saying all our kids toys will be low-tech, but we'll pick the ones we let in. :)
AngryDemonoid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:53:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I tried this with my son. His grandparents had something to say about it. Fucking toy vacuum cleaners and trucks with sirens. I would throw them all away if I knew my son wouldn't miss them.
NotShirleyTemple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They had something to say about 'it'? Batteries, toys, your request no t give them loud tous?
AngryDemonoid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:29:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, they didn't literally have something to say. They just spoil him with annoying toys. Then he gets attached and then we don't have the heart to take them away. I would just forbid them from our house, but my wife isn't as committed to it as I am. ๐
NotShirleyTemple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was reading a report about how most kids' toys are beyond the safe decibel rating for adults, let alone children. I know there is an app for measuring decibels. Moms can be appealed to change behavior if it benefits their children, when they wouldn't change it on their own behalf.
AngryDemonoid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:10:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll definitely have to look into that. Thanks!
meownikki ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:06:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I test toys in the store, figure out if they'll annoy me in any way. Sure enough, once I think I've found a toy that won't annoy me, my daughter finds a way to make it annoying.
NAmember81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, the 80s...
skgoa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but then you run into people like my former flatmate's dad, who buys the most obnoxious toys for his grandchild.
Iorith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You buy stuff like that for your grandkids to get revenge on your kids for all the diapers.
RolloTonyBrownTown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I avoid toys that make annoying noises, but not musical toys, seems important to have that in a childs early years.
ryken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Musical toys are loud, but they're not really that annoying. Kids are loud no matter what you give them. The annoying part is hearing the same fucking 5 second snippets over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
AdilB101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have them play video games and lego.
wootz12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Prepare to find legos lying around in the middle of the night with your feet
terdfurg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother tried to not allow any noise making toys in his house. As an uncle, I try to give my Nephews the loudest, most obnoxious toys on the market. I gave my nephew a race track that would play a song each time a car went down the ramp. I wanted to smash the dang thing after 10 minutes of my nephew using it but didn't want to spoil the great time my brother would have with it for the next months/years to come.
ThisIsMyRental ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You don't have that childless friend or relative that always gives the kids something loud and obnoxious as gifts? My mom's best friend is childfree, and she's been amazingly fond of giving all the little kids in our family the loudest gifts possible. So much, in fact, that when one of my little cousins was turning three and stores were selling light-up Elsa and Anna dresses that VERY LOUDLY played 45-second snippets of either "Let It Go" or "For the First Time in Forever", this particular friend got a text message from my cousin's mom warning her to "NOT GET MY DAUGHTER THAT LIGHT-UP, MUSICAL ELSA DRESS." The friend bought the dress and asked my mom, who by that point hadn't had a kid that was into loud toys for 5-6 years, to give it to the cousin instead. My mom got such an angry glare from my cousin's mom when my cousin unwrapped the musical Elsa dress at her birthday party. She chuckled with her CF best friend about it a few minutes later.
Baphomet_Abaddon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, yes, I remember playing with my wooden toys. I even didn't loose them because my parents took the liberty to conveniently nail them to a windowsill for me.
wootz12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Darn right, those wooden train sets were (are) awesome
rdewalt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm okay with battery/loud toys, as long as they have an Off switch.
Fucking Blues Clues toys seem to be designed, not only WITHOUT a way to power them off, but "Hey, come back and play with me" attract modes that last almost as long as the actual original play time.
If I can turn it off, it can get more than its original batteries.
KallistiTMP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should get that kid some Legos. Everyone fuckin' loves Legos.
ryken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He is two and a half, so this is terrible advice. He is starting to like duplos though.
meeeehhhhhhh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And on the eighth day, God created the Melissa and Doug toy company, and he saw that it was good.
ryken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And on the ninth day, God created Thomas the Train sets, and he saw that is was good, and that Dads liked buying that shit too, and now Moms are a little upset about how much Dad just spent online.
LonleyViolist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, man. My little bro could make some absolute racket with his train table. And they hurt when thrown.
ryken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The thing is, racket is unavoidable. The annoying part is the repetition. That's where battery operated toys drive you crazy.
LonleyViolist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fair point.
Aarondhp24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Teach him how to carve. He might be young for it now, but when I got my first knife and learned how to shape wood... I made art. I made toys. I created things with my imagination and sticks, and it was awesome.
ryken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:37:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
His grandma is a hobbyist wood carver so it's entirely possible.
jjjheimerschmidt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is a great idea.. I'll have to adopt this.
muckrucker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is there, uh, any particular address I can send these totally not loud and obnoxious toys to? Asking for a, uh, charity?! ;)
(We just ask our daughter to keep the really loud ones in her room.)
snuff3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My family has a game. Each Christmas we'd find the loudest, most obnoxious toy we could for each kid. I still haven't forgiven my SIL for the musical bells she bought my kid. It was a pack of like 6 bells... like the school playground ones. Each bell had a different tone so you could make music. Eugh..
Every. Fucking. Day.
Ding-a-ling-a-ling..
nameless88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've got a five year old nephew and trust me they find a way to make their own noise.
Kids just love to make loud, droning noises.
If you want quiet just don't be around a kid. Simple as that. Haha
ryken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:21:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not about noise. Noise is obviously unavoidable. It's about the same exact 5 second noise over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. You honestly have no clue about it because you don't have your own kids. Parents don't even hear the general racket kids make. In fact, I like when he is making random noises with his toys, because it means he is playing and not getting into trouble, but hearing a toy train sing the same 5 second song loop 8 million times in a row makes me want to kill people.
nameless88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't tune it out cuz I'm just an uncle, so I don't get that white noise constantly so I can adapt to it. I just get it in small doses, like once a week when I'm around the little guy.
Love my nephews, holy hell, kids, I didn't make that much noise when I was that age. Did I?
ryken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You made more noise because there was less technology to distract you.
bl1y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a toy store and we sell accordions for babies and I'm sorry.
GoodRubik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents tried this on my sister for a while. But when she smacks the toys together, they're still pretty loud.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am I the only parent who doesn't mind my son having loud toys? One of my son's favorite toys is one of those guns that lights up and makes a bunch of different sounds.
Kids are loud. Don't have kids if you can't tolerate noise.
OreBear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How old is he? My younger brother was the same, up to a point. Then he found out about electric trucks and never asks for anything else.
hungry4pie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That are all perfect for piercing the bottom of your foot right?
WaltonGogginsTeeth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let them have fun. Parents always want their kids to play with those damn wooden trains but they suck.
GenLloyd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We tried the same thing. The end result is loud banging instead of music. Not sure which is better.
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 16:51:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
runtheplacered ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:41:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And they're sitting there thinking "does Daddy really not know how to put batteries in a thing? Better not say anything, don't want to hurt his feelings."
kingeryck ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:46:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In laws just don't listen
NotShirleyTemple ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:15:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To the request? If they are local, just sweetly say,"This looks like such fun! It can be a special toy for Bo to play with when we visit your house! We'll just keep it there."
Or make sure the kid only plays with it when they are visiting. If that doesn't work, mention the doctor mentioned little Bo's ears have <insert medical term in-laws don't understand> And it ant good for him to have loud toys. People seem to respect doctors more than parents.
rdness ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:52:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In that case maybe I should be praising makers of tech for switching to non-removable batteries...
Sorry buddy, this is just like the iPhone, non-replaceable batteries
bubba_feet ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:24:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"okay, we just need to find the batteries that say they're for toys only. no, not those, they are for flashlights, see?"
anomalous_cowherd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:46:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You could save yourself a ton of money over time by giving them rechargeable batteries as 'pocket money' instead of cash.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:18:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
why not just tell them the truth?
ColSandersForPrez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:54:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, sounds like a good way to keep your kid dumb, by never teaching them about anything that might inconvenience you.
Jaggedrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine does the same and it drives me nuts
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would love to see the reaction a kid has to a toy that they grew up with being inanimate, then randomly one day it can move, talk, and light up.
horsenbuggy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can your kids come to the store with me? I am out of batteries for my tv remote and keep forgetting to get them. Heck, I keep forgetting to go to the store!
ActuallyTheJoey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was little, my favorite gift was packs of AA/C/D cells because they made all my toys work.
Gullex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. Grandpa runs a battery store, and they live right around the corner. So our family has that problem.
buffetregret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know what helps? Tell them they have to pay for the replacement batteries. They'll be all cocky and excited until they see the price, make the unsure decision to purchase the batteries anyway then realize all that money went to making one toy work exactly as it used to. Unless it's a super kick ass toy they likely will lose interest and you can drop the toy in your donation box.
walterpeck1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On the flipside of this my first win as a stepdad was figuring out that the battery on the toy Thomas the Tank Engine was, in fact, replaceable, allowing it to once again move around and haul cargo.
manlymann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Friend of mine bought my kid a really obnoxious toy. He knew what he was doing, as he laughed about the present a few days later. When it was his daughters birthday I bought her a glitter bomb card which launched glitter all over the room and took weeks to clean up. The present itself was a glitter and glue craft. It came with 12 or 15 bottles of glitter. It has been 2 years. He still finds glitter around the house.
GAF78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We were kinda poor so once the batteries ran down we just had a broken toy.
cynoclast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents did this to me until I was like 12. I grew up thinking batteries were so expensive we couldn't afford them AT ALL. Like if the toy didn't come with batteries with a charge, it never got batteries. To this day, over 20 years later I still have a weird hesitation to buy batteries because they're "so expensive".
I've blown $200 on strippers in one night and experienced 0 financial hardship. But I still hesitate to buy batteries...
Waniou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend's 3 year old knows about batteries but even if he didn't, he's under the assumption that adults can fix anything so if a toy has flat batteries, he keeps trying to give it to you and whines "heeeeeeeeeeeeelp, it's broooooookeeeeeeennnnn :( :( :("
gpjpg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I put tape over the speakers of every noise-making toy in the house.
Cuts down noise by 2-3x.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why don't you just buy quiet toys?
hungry4pie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The trick is to get toys that run on D cells, or that take about 20 of those flat coin style batteries. I remember as a kid in the early 90's, all those awesome 80's era toys were powered by the most expensive and inefficient batteries known to man. So the old "the batteries are too expensive lie" would not be a lie.
MoravianPrince ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats the worst thing about kids, they learn and remember all the BS you tell them.
TheSecretNothingness ยท 670 points ยท Posted at 15:53:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mad brilliant.
AlphaQRough ยท 318 points ยท Posted at 16:41:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Until that child grows up throwing away perfectly utilizable items because the batteries died.
[deleted] ยท 192 points ยท Posted at 16:50:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I can't believe some people get a new iPhone every day!
Edit:bad at words
BrokenDreamsDankmeme ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 17:11:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I get to be iPhone everyday too.
UGCGUY ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:30:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could be an iPhone everyday
ProtoKun7 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:39:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So you can get absolutely smashed?
stygyan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:48:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Real story: an old man came to the store I worked in a few hundred years ago and asked for a new battery for his cellphone. I told him the price and he went all goggle-eyed and asked me "I have to pay so much for this every time my phone turns off?".
He thought the battery was disposable and nobody had ever told him he could charge his phone.
NK7_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:35:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
More like every half hour
Source: iPhone user
somethingwithbacon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know! That's what I want to be when I grow up!
Bananawamajama ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:07:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The gas meter said "E". I guess that means "End".
sonorousAssailant ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:54:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I leave my Ferrari on the side of the road when it runs out of gas. I don't want to ride around in a quitter.
anaozoresdequintanar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it four already?
JayNico ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:23:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aw great, gotta get a new phone, that's the second one today
Tahns ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:27:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, how does everyone else afford to buy a laptop every day?!?
IAMA_HOMO_AMA ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:30:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Hello, Ford? My car battery died. I'm gonna need a new car." Sad thing is they would probably sell it if they caught on quickly enough.
LazyTheSloth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:27:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, pretty sure he'll figure it out on his own.
a_surreal_goat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:33:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
utilizable
jackkerouac81 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:38:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
dad, can you wire me $36k? Damned car ran out of batteries again..
Viperbunny ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:55:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly you teach them that batteries can be replaced when they are older. Clearly you have never been in a room with a bunch of loud, obnoxious toys.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Viperbunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My kids figured out the battery thing. I have to tell them we are out. Most of the toys have screws that keep you from opening then without a screw driver.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Commies hate him!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
25 year old throws away $2000 Nikon camera. "Piece of crap. I only got like 100 photos before it died."
striker746 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait until that kid gets an iPhone.
moncaisson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If they still believe that as adults, they deserve their massive financial hemorrhaging.
Emilio_Estevez_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
batteries die in remote "well kids I guess it's time to buy a new tv"
TesticleMeElmo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kid is 25 years old bursting at the seams with excitement asking their coworkers if they heard of these new things that make it so you don't have to throw out your TV remote anymore
nova_cat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You might say that the persons of early age are no longer capable of the act of utilization in relation to their constructive-leisure-time implements.
Prof_Acorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We have Apple teaching people that well enough with new iphones every year.
gu3st12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's ok.
I'm sure his Zune was discarded long before the battery died
Sgt_Patman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Brand new iPhone died? Well time for anew one!"
jules623 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or they use their imagination and keep playing with it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Guess I don't need a fire alarm"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Goddammit Timothy, why the printer? Yes it probably ran out of paper... No we can't just get a new one. and staple your... Goddammit Timothy!"
LazyTheSloth ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:46:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Altho it is cheaper to buy a new printer then ink.
accountnumberseven ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad actually did buy a new printer every time we ran out of ink for the longest time because it was cheaper. I got him to switch to a laser printer, specifically one that checks toner balance with an optical indicator so he can tape over it and keep using the toner until the pages are too grey for his eyes.
tovarish22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if he did that, he would hopefully be living in some sort of halfway house or care home, because clearly his learning and problem-solving is stunted at the level of a three-year old.
kennyl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:37:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Satan would be proud.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:10:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like the smarter option would be to not buy them toys that are annoying.
TheSecretNothingness ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:23:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, but that doesn't stop Mother in Law from buying them, probably to passive aggressively piss you off.
fefferoni ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:33:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't know what happened to that loud, obnoxious mother in law"
[deleted] ยท 327 points ยท Posted at 16:02:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Future parents of reddit, take notes.
kennyl ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:36:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Furiously scribbles.
DubDubDubAtDubDotCom ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:38:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit has parents?
mgreg153 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:54:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Recent parent taking note! Some pure gold in this thread
letmereaddamnit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Accident prone people of reddit take notes
Slipguard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Note to self. Only ever get quiet wooden toys for children.
tyedyehippy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
came to this thread to do just this!!
sickburnersalve ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:44:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We have a Santa Box for those toys.
When something shockingly doesn't work anymore, kids can put it in the Santa Box.
When we send it to Santa, he can fix it for other kids, and know that my kids were being very sharing, and helps him know what to bring them as a reward.
It's goodwill. Santa box always goes to goodwill.
otiswrath ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:26:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This might get expensive when the kids get to cell phone and car age.
buttery_shame_cave ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:29:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
toymakers have countered this by using ridiculously efficient electronics that run on, i swear to god, what must be microjoules of power, and they have got to be sticking lithium cells in there with joule-thief power circuits(so they can run until the battery is well and truly gone).
the life-span on a lot of electronic toys is insane.
MissCrayCray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Remove the battery!
buttery_shame_cave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
an option on non-sealed toys. sealed toys however seem to be the ones that run on goddamn plutonium or something.
ritchie70 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:45:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When the power went off, our daughter told me that the house needed new batteries. She thinks everything runs on batteries. I assume if the cat were to die, she'd say we should replace its batteries.
(She's 4.)
mrfroggy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:03:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's up there with telling your kids ice cream trucks only play music when they've run out of ice cream.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm stealing this for later use. I don't even have kids yet.
Thelaxingbear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's great short term, but those kids will have a life changing revelation when they figure it out. Probably worth it though those toys can get very annoying
EndOfNight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You mean the added bonus of learning never to trust anyone 100% and to always be sceptical?
TheSecretNothingness ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:45:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta rip that Band-aid off now. You'll thank me later.
opalorchid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is my tactic >=) mwahahaha
JustDiscoveredSex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or they could just not buy annoying toys.
ryken ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:07:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha bless your heart you sweet summer child. Unless you're ready to rip birthday and christmas presents from grandma and grandpa out of your child's hands, you're not going to stop this shit from entering your house.
yourmomlurks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:39:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my child was never to touch a toy made of plastic, only natural materials, etc etc.
She's now 15w and bounces in a lightup noisemaking chair thing while watching pororo on television.
People don't realize everything changes when you have real children. The decisions are different when you have to make them in reality instead of theoretically.
JustDiscoveredSex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had much the same idea, and yeah...you do have to confront reality. I was going to be a Martha Stewart mom. HA!
My kids are now 15 and 13 years old.
I still maintain you don't have to buy the noisy stuff if you don't want to. I didn't.
Wtf is "pororo?" (It's either new or cable, I'm sure.)
yourmomlurks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is a Korean children's cartoon. My mom did not teach me Korean and so I am forcing her to teach my baby :)
JustDiscoveredSex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting tactic
JustDiscoveredSex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My house, my rules. My kids are teenagers now, and we handled it pretty easily.
Grandma #1 went for educational toys, which are generally quiet. Lots of crafts and books. +1.
Grandma #2 we plied with laziness. We bought alllll the Christmas presents off Amazon and had them shipped right to her house. She got to wrap and pay for them and never had to leave the house, plus she knew the kids would like whatever it was. (Her biggest fault has been buying a ton of crap from the dollar store and handing it over ... it breaks in ten minutes. Ugh.)
She bought one horrid pinball thing one year. Awesome. We left it at grandmas house so it could be a "special grandma toy." And boy was it! Every time the kids came over, out it came. SHE got to deal with the noise level. Enjoy that, grandma.
The truly uncontrollable thing has been how grandparents fill the kids with caffeine and sugar, shake well, and hand them back.
jungl3j1m ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:10:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't understand a lot of toys. Why would you buy your brat a little plastic kitchen when you have a whole real kitchen where you can teach your little one how to cook?
myslocalledlife ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:16:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe because one they can play with unsupervised with relative safety while the other contains knives, garbage disposals, high temperatures and other dangerous items that would require constant diligent care of the parent- leaving little time to actually cook meals?
jungl3j1m ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:31:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good point. Still, a wooden spoon and a mixing bowl is a good place to start. They can work on the Benihana stuff later.
Iorith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can't have been around many kids if you think that would end well.
JustDiscoveredSex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:56:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Scale. They can't even reach the counter.
The little one also isn't equipped to handle sharp blades or hot ovens. Even EasyBake won't sanction their stuff below either 8 or 10 years old.
Little guys copy you. It's how they gain skills. So a little wooden knife and a set of velcro'd vegetables allows them to "chop" without losing a finger.
As a HUGE plus, you get to cook in the kitchen yourself without tripping over the toddler or accidentally pouring boiling water on their head.
DapperPanda01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Those people are brilliant!
justimpolite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle just didn't tell his kids about batteries at all - he didn't tell them "hey your firetruck could play sirens and have lights if we put batteries in it!" but instead that "the lights in the picture are just for advertising" and so on.
thedjotaku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
AWESOME
eastek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did this. Kids have since figured it out, but the good news is I have three boys. No toy lasts for more than 5 minutes. Mom minutes that last freekin' forever for Mom.
houseofleopold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm mad I didn't think of this. too late now. :(
/replaces 38652370 batteries in every toy we own
keeper_of_bee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friends bought my son a v-tech piano. It didn't have an on/off switch. It also continued to make noise randomly for half an hour after the last button press. This was about 8 or 9 years ago. He's getting married soon and the moment I hear they're expecting I'm going to start hunting for the most annoying toy I can find and preload it with some God DAMN super batteries.
TheNinjaBear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's what my older sister would do with her boys. The plan worked well until Nana and Papa came over to visit from out of state with a fresh jumbo pack of batteries. They replaced the batteries in EVERY noise making/light up toy. My sister was dumbstruck.
AdmAkbar_2016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sneak in the house and put some commercial grade Duracells in one of those toys.
kennyl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Satan? Is that you?
youlleatitandlikeit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if I taught him, I mean I must have, but my son caught on to batteries early and fast. At 3 or 4 he already knew about AA, AAA, and even button batteries. Fortunately, he seems to have outgrown most of the annoying battery-operated toys.
redserenity1111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
even worse than the batteries dying, the imagination kicks in!!!
TangoOscarDD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We did try this, both our parents sent us the noisiest, most obnoxious toys while we were stationed overseas, they considered it payback.
Problem was, even in military housing where we had maintenance people that fix everything, they were horrible at prioritizing "emergency problems" versus "it can wait". We had an emergency, after calling, and getting nothing, I took it upon myself to fix the problem with my own tools, which I did...
This was when my 3 year old figured out that "daddy fixes things", the problem there is, I like to fix things, so when she brought me her favorite (obnoxious) toy with tears in her eyes because it sounded like the fucking devil...daddy fixed it...and regretted it 20 minutes later.
CptNonsense ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This honestly seems like a bad idea in the long run "My toy is broken, I need another one!"
ryken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not broken, it's just done making noises.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/maddads
Tupnado21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your friends down the street/Gore 2016
mynameisnotmatthewc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yet when the batteries in Mommy's toy dies, the batteries from little Jimmy's race car disappear.
Carl_GordonJenkins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents and my aunt/uncle seemingly had a contest on who could buy the loudest toy for the other families children. I think the winner was a laser gun with 4 different loud ass sounds. They still bring it up sometimes.
o0i81u8120o ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sweetie why did you throw daddy's phone away?
daverod74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was our tactic as well. Interestingly, when we've mentioned this to friends, some reacted as if we'd just admitted to beating our children for fun.
bob-leblaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish my upstairs neighbors were like that. Instead, they give them batteries and a bowling ball and a pair of wooden shoes.
astariaxv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this is genius.
OMG__Ponies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Never attribute to malice what can easily be explained by ignorance.
apostasism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a great idea. I'll have to remember that when I have kids
JaineLain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My kids think that only daddy can change batteries. By the time he gets home they've forgotten about it.
Jill-Sanwich ยท 921 points ยท Posted at 14:33:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There was actually a study done on baby/kids toys that determined most of the toys volume was at a level higher than what adult ears could handle. So can you imagine what it does to kid ears?? My sister does things to reduce the sound on toys, like tape over the little speaker. She hasn't figured out how to fix the loud ass vacuume toy though...
geomela ยท 1398 points ยท Posted at 14:51:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure kids should have access to the ass vacuum, tbh.
AsAGayJewishDemocrat ยท 171 points ยท Posted at 15:07:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Start 'em early!
souldeux ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 15:15:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If they're not introduced to the ass-vac, you're basically asking for a prolapse as soon as puberty hits.
Horace_P_Mctits ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:50:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And now you're on a list
Thesuperpotato2000 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:29:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out?
CorpseZero ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:49:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup.
fromman003 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:35:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta tame some strange
emdave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant user name?
ummjiga ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:08:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I certainly had Fisher Price's My First Colonic
magicsmoker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think your parents lied to you
Hagathor1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:11:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That time of the day, I guess - Relevant xkcd
napalm_anal_emission ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:47:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It can lead to some bad things, but who doesn't like getting their butt sucked?
http://chuckpalahniuk.net/features/shorts/guts
AngryDemonoid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:54:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
NSFL
camdoodlebop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:12:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that the guy who wrote fight club?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:52:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fight Club is Palahniuk's most accessible book.
Let that sink in for a second.
camdoodlebop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:51:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean by most accessible?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:14:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mainstream.
napalm_anal_emission ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:50:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
shoyurx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:09:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Makes potty training so much easier.
piratefight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I learned that from a Chuck Palahniuk Book
EmptierHayden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You need to be sure it works
Kaell311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because he's in jail?
Loqol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a clip I saw once....
Kiyoko504 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now you too can play Colonoscopy, Home Addition
arudnoh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the ole reddit suckaroo!
toastedpup27 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:42:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of a parent are you? Get out.
SaffellBot ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:19:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm looking forward to soldering in a lot of resistors as a dad.
trex694 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How does that lower the volume? What ohm/resistance does it need?
SaffellBot ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:28:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Trial and error. Less current = less volume. Speakers are a little tricky, but I'm not afraid of destroying the sound on a few toys to figure out the best way to do things.
FuffyKitty ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:01:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We had to do that with one of the kids books, the kind that read aloud. It was SO LOUD we had to tape it.
Slagheap77 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:19:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
First thing I do when my kids get a noisy toy: clear packing tape over the speaker holes. Usually keeps it nice and quiet.
NonaSuomi282 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:42:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or just take a dental pick (useful to have around for prying apart snap-together electronics and for soldering) and jam it in the speaker holes until you've disfigured the speaker enough that it's considerably quieter. Then Junior can't get wise and peel the tape back off in the middle of a nice quiet afternoon.
Airstew ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:01:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on how technically inclined you are, and how easy it is to access the toy's innards, you might want to try adding a resistor right on the speaker leads. That would definitely be the most permanent solution for lowering volume without rendering the toy inoperable.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:50:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that toy doesnt die. i saw that popping vacuum toy at my friend's the other day and remembered annoying the hell out of my parents with it when I was 4.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:17:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
WinterOfFire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually loved it when my son played with the popping vacuum. I could always tell where he was in the house and as long as it kept making noise, I knew he wasn't getting into any trouble, lol.
ADWALT3RSKINN3R ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:26:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Clear silicone injected directly into the speaker holes. The stuff is cheap and effective.
rabidsi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So is a hammer.
kjbrasda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My kid had one toy that was so loud we had add a couple layers of felt under the tape. Was still pretty loud.
geekyb207 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:49:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to put tape over the little speaker holes too. Only way the noise was somewhat bearable
Skywarp79 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard that pouring Elmer's glue into the speakers can muffle the volume, can't confirm.
ZincCadmium ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just teach them how to use a real vacuum. My parents made me use the little handheld dust buster one until I was tall enough for the real one.
Jill-Sanwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My niece is actually terrified of the real vacuum though. We just got her to a point where she can be in the same room with it.
WinterOfFire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My son is too. We had to get those earmuffs headphone things to muffle noises so he could tolerate it.
Negabite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Has she tried killing it with fire?
patb2015 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
a little caulk inside.
compwalla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have done that - tape over the speaker. Saved my sanity.
Finetales ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom did this with every noise-making toy I ever had. Packing tape, sometimes multiple layers, over the speaker. I didn't really get why at the time, but I'm pretty thankful for it now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What toys? I remember having the lazer guns that just made a quiet beep sound.
Griffinith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
replace the balls inside with Styrofoam. If that proves to be too loud, try softer foam.
Kiyoko504 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its called don't buy it and get them one of those push ones with the little rattle balls, slightly more annoying, but less ear piercing.
Jill-Sanwich ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The funny thing is my sister didn't even buy it. She hates the damn thing. My nieces other aunt (on her dad's side, not my sibling) got it for her one Christmas. It's a Minnie Mouse toy so my niece ended up falling in love with it, and my sister didn't have the heart to throw it out.
Kiyoko504 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You might as well have been better off getting her a mini dust buster, teach her the Danny Tanner routine. LoL
jesuswig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Goodwill. Then it's gone forever.
darkfire613 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had this really loud electric train set as a kid, and my dad was handy with electronics. He actually opened it up and soldered a resistor into the speaker circuit to lower the volume.
iamerror87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn that's a good idea with the tape over the speaker. I am going to do that.
Like your sisters problem with the Vacuum toy though, I have a problem with my sons battery operated four wheeler, he sits on it and likes to drive it into a wall and just hold the button so the wheels keep spinning and the motors on those things WHINE so bad.
Emilia_S ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:00 on August 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just open up the toy and pull the plug from the speaker. Working toy, no more sounds.
ThreeLaxateers ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 15:09:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess three is a little young to use the real vacuum cleaner
IHaveNothing2Say ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:14:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah. I let my three year old cousin vacuum. She does a terrible job, but she loves doing it.
Sierra_Oscar_Lima ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:27:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably does it better than the dog. That unit only cleans up food debris.
LazyTheSloth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not mine. I'm not sure how she isn't dead. She's eaten, wood, metal, plastic, carpet, carpet padding, pillow fluff, leather, couch cushioning, and a bunch of other shit I can't remember.
titty_boobs ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:35:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom did this with my younger brothers when they were like 4. Got them handheld dustbusters for christmas one year. They liked playing with them and the house was mad clean for months.
ritchie70 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:47:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I really don't understand why kid's vacuums don't actually clean. They just make god-awful noise with no good result.
And every toy bucket, no matter how small, has a hole in it somewhere so it can't actually hold water. Safety no doubt. Can't have a kid drown in a 5-oz cup.
lustywench99 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:59:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. I'd have put batteries in the toy vacuum long ago if it actually cleaned. I don't even care if it is crummy at cleaning but sucks up some stuff. She could play all day long, to her hearts content.
Instead we have a Rumba. If they can have the technology to make a robot vacuum, they certainly can make a toy Dyson do something.
Sierra_Oscar_Lima ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Buy one of these: https://www.bissell.com/swift-sweep-manual-floorcarpet-sweeper-2201b
There's even power ones.
LazyTheSloth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember this. My ex grandparents had one at their cabin. We went their every year. I played with that a lot. It was crazy noisy. Now I know why my mom didn't care it was noisy as fuck and let my play with it all day.
Tang_Fan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:15:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For vacuuming the floor, yes. For terrorising his baby sister, no.
sydshamino ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Our two year old loves to help vacuum. I have to periodically ask her to stand aside and show me how she can count to ten so I can get the vacuuming done.
incognito_mama ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:02:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not in my house! Cordless stick vac is the perfect "toy" for my 3 year old to push about. He thinks he's getting to play with an adult toy and I'm secretly getting him to clean the house.
JorusC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Get one that converts into a canister-type, and the hose attachment is plenty light enough for your 3-year-old. My little guy loves vacuuming!
OMG__Ponies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Everyone needs practice for the real world.
EDIT to clarify intent.
andrewjskatz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:34:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why don't toy manufacturers make toy vacuums (vacua?) that actually work? That way, the kids are actually doing something useful.
MissCrayCray ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:56:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah! Those brats need to earn their keep! ;-)
WarLorax ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:48:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was about to say just tell the kid, and then I remembered that I took the batteries from a talking baby-doll my daughter had that needed to have the bottle put in its mouth to stop crying. Super annoying at 2am. For the longest time, she thought she'd let her baby die and that she was a bad "mom." She's an adult now, but doesn't want to have kids. Coincidence?
SugeNightShyamalan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:54:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friends quickly replaced their child's toy vacuum with a lightweight functional vacuum after realizing how much the kid loved it. Now they have a chore monkey!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:22:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just remembered my dad pulled that on me once. Fuck.
ukelele_pancakes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:43:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I knew my mother-in-law hated me when she gave our kids a toy vacuum cleaner for Christmas. And even after we left it in her house because it was too much to take on the plane overseas (from Spain to US), she still brought it the next time she came to visit.
y2knole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:58:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Theres a bottom drawer at our house with bulk packs of AAA, AA, C, and D batteries and a #1 phillips head.
Even my 4 year old knows how to change batteries on her own now.
The particularly obnoxious toys get sold by my wife on the local mommy's FB buy/sell/trade groups for pennies on the dollar.
There are two keyboard/microphone combinations stashed under my work bench inthe garage now.
TuckerWilliams ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Another mom in my parents group had her kids convinced that batteries were really expensive and a luxury they couldn't afford. So for Christmas that year her son asked Santa for batteries for all of his existing, now silent toys.
toothofjustice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:28:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now see, my brother bought both my kids a megaphone off of Amazons "most annoying toys" list. I just let my kids play with it for a fee days and then told them it was too loud and put it away. They agreed and haven't taken it out since
Demokirby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just take wire cutters and cut the wire coils for the batteries inside the toy. Now you never need to worry again.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:34:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why not just give him a real vacuum cleaner? Like those tiny, lightweight hand-held ones?
sunkissedinfl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:38:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My aunt wouldn't even allow batteries in the first place. She used to tell my cousins, "just use your imagination."
notsureiflying ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:40:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, what kind of monster creates a toy VACUUM CLEANER?
OrokanaOtaku ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:40:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Give him the real thing to play with
Get your whole place vacuumed for free
Rent the toddler to other houses
Become rich
username9k ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:46:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"YOU THINK THIS IS A FUCKING GAME!!! ARF ARF"
-your mom, internally
monkeysinmypocket ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:50:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love that children like toys that to adults represent hideous, soul-sucking, sisyphean domestic chores.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:54:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who makes a toy vacuum cleaner?
NewWorldOrder781 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why the shit do you manufactures think that's a good idea?
GoinFerARipEh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who i exchange toys with every Christmas. It's been an escalating war. I get his kids something that is incredibly loud and he gets our something incredibly messy. Drums was a doozy because he has no basement but when he got my daughter a full oil paint set for her 7th XMAS I had to replace carpet. Son of a bitch won.
erichkeane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:42:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of my dad! I got play-doh as a gift as a 'house warming' gift when I was ~3. I kept wanting to play with it, but my dad was concerned with our new house's carpets. So, he told me that we didn't have the batteries. To 3 year old me (in the late 80s, the time of "batteries not included") it made total sense.
However, the fallout was life-scarring for both my mother and me. Every time we'd be checking out at the grocery store, my mom would ask if we needed anything else. Every week for YEARS I'd say we needed batteries. Every few weeks my mom would think of something that we probably needed batteries for and pick them up. We ended up needing a battery DRAWER in our kitchen to store them all.
As of a few years ago, every time my mom would leave the grocery store, she'd go to the battery aisle to check to see if there were any batteries we were in need of. I ended up with a battery drawer of my own after I moved out.
theAmazingMrX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:19:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude. I had a toy vacuum. My mom said the same thing to me.
Suppafly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:15 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just put clear packing tape over the speaker grill area, it'll reduce it by at least half if not more.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
why would anyone buy their kids such a toy
fuckyoubarry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dated a nanny, shed let the kids play with loud toys in the bathtub
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why not get kids actual dirt devils? They can start their complaining early. (Sitting around, 3rd grade lunch) You think you had it rough? My mom had me vacuuming the house when I was 2.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have the mental image of you trying to dry-vacuum the living room, looking up at your mum with big round eyes, quivering lip...
jdoe5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Give him the real vacuum cleaner and put him to work
Negafox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I tried this until my middle daughter went to go find replacements on her own accord. "These look the same! Where's the screwdriver?" -_-
Viperbunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Which, the kids are somehow afraid of! My mom tried to buy whistles for the kids for Christmas. I said she could get them only if they were to remain at her house. She told me I was no fun. Woman, please! I am fun until.i.have dealt with hour after hour of yelling and hight pitch whistling! It is.bad enough all the toys make noise if you leave them for more than a few minutes. Sometimes you need a break!
borkborkporkbork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you can open it up, you can usually fit a small piece of cardboard over the speaker. It helps a lot.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
A little story about batteries dying as a kid(I was like 4)
I had a Raggedy Ann and Andy alarm clock. It said, "Raggedy Andy, please wake up! It's time to start your day!!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1f3qHYfI_Ns
Batteries wore out, and the voice sounded like an old scary man, and went off in the middle of the night. It freaked the fuck out of me and I ran down the hall to the living room, only to find my parents buck nekid, laying on the floor in front of the fire place. My mom was pulling on my dad's 'hooter' (fanny and hooter were the preferred anatomy terms in our Catholic/prude house). It was stretched out sooo far!
EDIT: My mom told me dad's hooter was sore.
That memory is seared into my brain, and to this day I am still confused: either my dad has a huge hooter, or is that how you really give hand jobs? Stretching it the fuck out?
The alarm clock was never seen or heard again.
SinkHoleDeMayo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You could have been grooming your child to do all the house work but you just had to go and fuck it up, didn't you?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lmao, when I was 5 I had a horse that would neigh when I pressed a button. One day, it randomly broke, but I found out the button had been cut out and the wire broken. I threw the biggest fit I ever did yelling at my parents and my siblings for breaking it. I think that's the only time I willingly went to be before dinner because I was so angry at them.
thebellrang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had seen a cute little popper thing for my kid, so I decided to get what I thought is the same thing, but I was wrong: I got the fisher price corn popper. WHY?! Luckily kiddo is too afraid of it so far.
DrThrowawayToYou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course you can take the police car in the bath with you. ... Gee sweetie, I'm not sure why the siren doesn't work anymore.
burlysilverstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that the one that insults you while it runs? "This place is a MESS!!!"and "This place is a PIG STY!!!!"
metler88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahahaha, toy vacuum cleaner sounds like a lot of fun.
pterencephalon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who got her kid a little dirt devil handheld vacuum when he loved she toy vacuums so much. Tricked him into actually helping clean!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish the batteries for one if my daughter's toys would die. The electronic ball will be quiet for days or weeks, then suddenly, at stupid o'clock at night when we're watching a movie will say "I seeeeeeee yooooooou". Totally the creepiest fucking thing EVER!!
blown-upp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh that's simple, just let him "play" with the real vacuum cleaner - that way it's quieter, the house gets tidied up and he gets to have fun!
pennypoppet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why don't they make mini child sized vacuums that actually work if kids like doing that kind of stuff? I don't have kids but if I did I would be all over that.
RedP0werRanger ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:51:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
You do know that just teaches them that their moms a liar right? And don't say that I don't know shit about kids (which I'm sure that people will comment) I have 9 younger siblings.
Tang_Fan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A what? What's a "lier"?
RedP0werRanger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I spelled liar wrong. It happens
Tang_Fan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, don't worry about it. My kids don't think I'm a liar, I'm human, so are they. It's all cool here.
BTW if you have 9 sibling how old are you?
RedP0werRanger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
20.My parents are foreign.
Hopefully. I have seen a kid where their parents did this constantly. They couldn't tell them 1 ounce of truth if their life depended on it. Kid ended up moving away due to college and never coming back. He had trust issues.
Tang_Fan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry but I really don't know where you're going with this....
I'm all ears though!
RedP0werRanger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Small lies here and here aren't to much of an issue.
But the issue is that lied about a topic which could be a learning experience. Kid plays with loud toy? Teach him the concept of quiet time. It helps him out and you in two different ways.
He learns how to handle situations and how to be thoughtful.
You learn not to use lies as a way out. Why is this important? Because lying is the easy way out. But it also might become natural for you to do so. Kid can't go to the park" It's going to rain" when you know it isn't. Kid wants toy "It's not going to work" when it does. You slowly and subconsciously learn to lie and eventually he'll catch on.
Sorry the toy was loud. But all I'm saying is don't start a bad habit which can truly damage your kids trust on you. You teach him that lying is cool. don't be suporise when he does the same. But I'm sure you won't do that. Some people aren't so lucky
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to point out that if this is being kept up, some kids learn to throw stuff away because it is no longer working.
"Oh? this expensive rechargeable toy isn't working anymroe? Just throw it away."
Tang_Fan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:48:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We still have it. He's given it to his little sister. She just doesn't know it's suposssed to make any sound!
headzoo ยท 2255 points ยท Posted at 14:27:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly.. "I'm sorry Timmy, but your dog ran away." Really? Did he take all the food, bowls, and toys with him?
IamEclipse ยท 2165 points ยท Posted at 14:49:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That dog was a smart dog
kennyl ยท 1567 points ยท Posted at 16:38:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
1st Rule of Being a Runaway Dog:
LEAVE NO TRACES
x_JUMPER_CABLE_DAD_x ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:11:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One time while I was gone from the house when I was little, my dad and my beta fish were left at the house together. The fish had this weird eye disease that my dad hated to watch (it was pretty sad) When I got home he had 'died' and my dad gave him a funeral in the sewers. Some say he still swims in shit to this day.
emptycollins ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:17:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bury the evidence
kaeroku ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:06:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fauna Jackson should have taken notes.
cowo94 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:16:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Day 3: The humans still haven't realized that I'm gone...
dreadddit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:01:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Smaht doggo
toastedpup27 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
RAMPU!
Zack_Fair_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
doggo economicus
TheVitoCorleone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No dog, you gon git whet. You don got whet.
Freadan ยท 669 points ยท Posted at 15:10:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He'll need those at the farm.
Gender_Studies ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 17:14:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I explained the "dog to the farm" lie to an adult coworker of mine and she said, "But when I was little my parents sent my dog to a farm to help out when he got older..." Then she realized what had really happened. Her mouth dropped open and her eyes got big. "Ah damn it."
stygyan ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:51:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents sent my dog to a farm, but it was a real farm. Basically we didn't think it was going to grow up so much, and when we noticed his weight was on the 200# mark and that on his hind feet he was a hand taller than me, well... we called a friend of my brother, who had a farm with more dogs and bitches, and let said friend adopt him.
OddTheViking ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:24:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We sent our dog to uncle's farm when she kept jumping through a window and breaking the glass. He ended up having to shoot her because she kept eating the chickens. To be fair, they told us (most) of the truth: "she got shot, and died."
fefferoni ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:35:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dog farm can be dangerous at night
le-chacal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's junkyard dogs swingin' bike chains at night.
theotherpachman ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:56:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
We legitimately sent a cat to a farm when I was 14-ish. She was constantly pissing on the brand new carpet so we found a place where she could be a barn cat and piss wherever she wanted. Helped drop her off myself.
I now have a 2 year old dog of my own and already I can tell when she's gone, I'm going to wish I had someone who could convince me she just went to a farm :(
Korbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You could always find a farm for her to retire to when she gets old yourself, then you wouldn't have to know exactly when she goes.
kennyl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:36:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, someone had to tell her. That's still kind of sad though.
roissy_37 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:50:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. I had that terrible moment of clarity in my late teens, too. Third grade, my dog had to "go to the doctor so they can study what's wrong with him". Any requests to visit were shut down politely, with some quick redirection. It wasn't until I talked to a friend who was working as a vet tech, who explained that vets don't really do that kind of research. Dammit, mom and dad! Now I feel sad AND gullible.
snootus_incarnate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:29:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents had a potbelly pig that they literally sent to the farm. I have photographic proof somewhere. I tell people and they just give me this sad look...
TheWizardIsALie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad sent my dog to a farm...also gave one to the cable man. Took 2 weeks till I found out about that one though.
blackmist ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:26:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend who earnestly believed that her dog had gone to live on the farm. Like there's a farm that specialises in elderly dogs that can't even walk.
She was about 13 at the time.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:20:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I JUST HAD A REVELATION.
I'm going to go sit silently and contemplate some things.
alexmg2420 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's always one.
kennyl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:39:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The butterfly farm that is.
High_on_Decaf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:30:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Daisy Hill Puppy Farm?
ariven ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We had a pet sheep.. raised it from a little lamb.. had a class field trip to see and pet the sheep.
It went to "live" at my cousins farm... then a few days later we had lots of paper wrapped packages in our deep freezer...
mkkrkhm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Heartbroken
XxJonnyboixx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Along with a butterfly net.
shitheadawardnominee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even though I'm an adult, my mom insists our dog went to the farm.
n_caramihai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funny enough, when my dog was 7 or 8, my parents told me that they gave him to a "farm" to enjoy his life instead of having to live in a house all day. I just assumed they euthanized him. It wasn't until 5 years later I got a call from some number regretting to inform me that Fudge had passed on their "farm".
keepupwitcardassians ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:51:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My husband's rabbit "ran away and met a lady rabbit and had a family". Coincidentally, a bunch of chickens and geese went missing from the farm that day.
10+ years later, husband is telling me this story and realizes "wait, how would my parents know my rabbit met a lady bunny?" He calls his dad and the truth finally came out - a coyote got into the barn and killed the bunny and the other animals. His dad spent the whole morning trying to clean up the carnage before the kids woke up.
nmotsch789 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:06:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's a reason New York State has no limit on how many coyotes you can shoot, so long as you shoot them during the proper hunting season. Coyotes are nasty bastards.
80Eight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Goats stomp coyotes like they are getting paid to do it.
LadyKnightmare ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:22:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up on a farm, so it was a lot more honest.
"Sorry, looks like coyotes got your cat, now take this plastic bag and go clean up what's left of it."
Broberyn_GreenViper ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:06:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This one makes me really angry.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:47:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate this one - my neighbors did it to their kids and just to make it worse they set it up so it was "Astralrayn LET your dog run away!" so the blame couldn't possibly be on them.
They went on a 2 week summer vacation and asked me to check on and feed their two dogs on a set schedule, they gave me the vet number for emergency and told me to keep an eye on one of the dogs because he "didn't seem to be eating a lot." 10 year old me didn't know that was a red flag. The dog was dying, they knew it, so they dumped it on me. He died not even 4 days into it, I found him under their basement stairs cold and stiff, which terrified me, I'd never touched anything dead before and I'd touched him because I didn't know what was wrong at first. I ran screaming from the house, ugh. Not my best moment.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:30:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol i read it as Australian and i was like, those damn aussies
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm never going to see my username the same way again!
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:39:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aw. That's a sad one :(
FurryFredChunks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:50:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up with a chow chow for 10 years. One day, I get home from school and go out and play with my friends. We lived on the base in Kingston, Ontario, and there's loads of woods and paths and stuff around Fort Henry. After a few hours, we all wound up at my place and I asked my father where the dog was. He says "I thought you just ignored that he wasn't here." I said "Where is he?" That's when he told me he had to be put down. I had no idea anything was even wrong with him. 10 year old me cried in front of a dozen military kids between 11 and 16 years old. And they all just stared.
markymarkfro ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:19:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Never lie to your kids about death
Its better they understand it when they're young Instead of being 20 thinking grandma ran away
ShutYerShowerThought ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:22:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm almost certain my mom "got rid" of our cat, Tinsel. He used to piss on the basement floor and it was only a matter of time before she snapped. He was also an inside/outside cat that conveniently didn't come home one morning, which provided an excellent built-in excuse for my mother to get away with furder. "Must've been eaten by a coyote or something". She acts a little squirrely to this day when you bring him up so I think there's something there..
CarelesslyFabulous ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:48:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or the old "Went to live on a farm." Honestly, "ran away" would have made me worry forever. Were they okay? Hurt? Cold? Hungry? Hit by a car? Saying they ran away is terrible!
My classic momism. We had bunnies we won in an silent auction at school. We didn't know how to care for them and they were really sick all teh time. I remember some particularly bloody stool one day and then the next day...they were gone. Where did they go? "The garbage man adopted them!"
I seriously thought the garbage man took them to live with him...
P0L1Z1STENS0HN ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Little Timmy's (9) dog is on vacation in rainbow country, as reported by the German daily Der Postillon: http://www.der-postillon.com/2014/06/kleiner-timmy-9-freut-sich-dass-sein.html
Further reading: http://www.der-postillon.com/search?q=Timmy
squidsbybrianwilson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We sent your hamster to live on a farm.
HRHill ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He moved out and got a roommate, citing your inability to just let the house be clean for 5 minutes.
Emerald_Flame ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:50:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or more common. "oh he went to go live on a farm so he had more room to run around on"
Pizza_Delivery_Dog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
According to my brother this really happened to our cat (I was too young to remember) he says he was there when they brought him there. Cat still ran away from the farm and died tho
qweers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, if I were running away, that's what I would do. Need toys on the road.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:19:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish mine had at least lied occasionally. Dad always felt the need to share in detail about how he found the dead cat and it's eye had popped out from the car hitting it, etc.
notfromheremydear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What a manipulative dog you had Timmy...he packed all his bowls and toys while mumbling: I was never here. That will show you for not playing Frisbee with me last week, little shit
dantemirror ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:19:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Extra bonus points if there is a still visible but washed down blood stain near the garage.
No, I am not fucking around. It happened to a neighbor kid I was friends with.
Zandrick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:34:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's...awefull.
wetwater ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:40:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't even the courtesy of that lie. I came home from school and my mother told me she dropped the dog off at the shelter and to go do my chores.
HeartChees3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:43:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He leaves no trace.
He's Jason Borzoi.
eggbert194 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:12:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told my lil brother the dog ran away but told me she left it off on the side of the highway near the Vet place..
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My rabbit "ran away" when I was younger, somehow managing to unlatch its cage from the inside... I was a teenager when I mentioned it to my dad and commented on how smart rabbits must be. He laughed and said, "oh, it froze to death. I threw it in the woods and left the door open so you'd find it like that." :(
OMG__Ponies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:32:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:41:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was around 7yo I got the story of how a "poor little boy in a wheelchair" saw my dog at the vet and he just loved her sooo much and wanted a dog like her that my parents felt "so terrible" because the boy's mom said the child didn't have long left, so my parents gave my best friend away and she went to live with this boy on his farm.
I'm 43yo, a successful physician and my two older brothers still SWEAR this is what happened to my dog, they will not admit my parents either gave the dog to the vet for whatever reason or had her put down (which I doubt, she was a young dog).
CB4life ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:45:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This just reminds me of when my mom found out that her rabbit she had growing up didn't run away- her mom made it for dinner one night.
BrandonDrahead ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:43:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm nearly 15 and my mother tried to do this too me. Liar. She said her friend took the dog but she just drove really far away and left him there.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:21:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And Timmy fucking died.
basaltgranite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We're sorry, we gave the dog to the vet."
Arcaidian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And Timmy fucking died
freehunter ยท 1669 points ยท Posted at 14:46:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine was "sorry but the stereo ate that tape you like... and the store doesn't sell them anymore" Really? It's 1996 and the store doesn't sell Hootie and the Blowfish tapes anymore? They just completely ran out and then decided that they wouldn't stock the best-selling album of the last year? One of the fastest selling albums of all time? 16x platinum? And Walmart just said "nah, we won't sell that anymore"?
cloud3321 ยท 1112 points ยท Posted at 15:02:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
..... yes?
[deleted] ยท 744 points ยท Posted at 17:20:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Chief Wiggum: Your mission is to find the firework smugglers and get them to say something incriminating on this tape.
Bart: Hootie and the Blowfish?
Chief Wiggum: Yeah, it's cheaper than blank tape.
Recoveringfrenchman ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:23:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Let heeeer cry"
kennyl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:18:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is "Hootie and the Blowfish" supposed to conjure up a sexual thought or is it just a kid's show?
[deleted] ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 18:38:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you're asking if Hootie and the Blowfish is a kids show, no.. But it makes one hell of a better title for a kids show than a rock band.
ejeebs ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:10:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or a couple of morning radio DJs.
jinxed_07 ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 19:35:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY.
ejeebs ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:53:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...not really, no.
joss29 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Watched that episode a week ago. I liked the concept
Jasondazombie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it just me, or did I read that in my head in my voice, then their voices, then I remembered the clip?
poptart2nd ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:11:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
May I see it?
RadioHitandRun ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:52:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No.
britchesss ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:48:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
unzips
myrmo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:51:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, OK then.
cheez_au ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:37:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let him cry.
BigBuda ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:08:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom didn't like hootie? What a monster
Tooch10 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:57:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a GF in high school whose mother met Darius Rucker around 2002. She said he was kind of a dick.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:40:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
doesn't change the fact that Hootie & the Blowfish rocked fuckin face
this_guy_here_says ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:13:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom, you and me, we come from different worlds...
ZappySnap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That gets really creepy if you continue the song....
xav00 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:43:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, but that's a world I would want to live in.
kingeryck ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:46:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone bought all the copies
melvinscam ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:56:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
why would you not want the musical genius that is "cracked rearview" in your house?
neanderthalensis ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:15:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. You were a sassy kid.
freehunter ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:31:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually believed her until I got my own car and drove to the store and found out Walmart still sells them in 2003. Yes, actual physical tapes, not CDs.
Thanks mom!
urbanhawk_1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:46:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sorry but the stereo now has a hammer through it. I wonder how that got there."
FullBaseline ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:05:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hammer Time!
Dan_Berg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:23:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She obviously loves you very much
Yeti_Poet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:29:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hooooooold myyyyyy haaaaaaaaaaaand
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:32:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cracked Rear View 4 lyfe
thedjotaku ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:06:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"HOOTIE HOOTIE HOOTIE" http://www.cc.com/video-clips/v1bz0y/key-and-peele-darius-rucker
JustDiscoveredSex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really? That's just insulting. How about, "If I hear that song one more time, I'm going to lose my mind. Here's a Walkman/iPod with headphones. Don't bust it."
Wiki_pedo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it was just sold out!
delmar42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that was right around the time when CDs were becoming hugely populer, and tapes were becoming increasingly hard to find. Maybe she hoped her lie had just enough truth to it to convince you. On that note, I recently just started re-using a stereo at home that has a tape deck in it (along with a CD player). I'm curious enough to look around to see if I have any old mix tapes from my college years in the 90s.
Robot_Embryo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hootie? It was either that, or give you up for adoption :/
dasrac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They were doing you a favor and trying to steer you off the road to mediocrity. But then something nice. Maybe a CD by that nice Darius Rucker.
buffetregret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They did you a favor.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I ohnleewannabeewithyooooeeeww."
MorganWick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think the key might be the "tape" part.
2D_n_2Deep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'DONT YOU START A DISCUSSION WITH ME!'
FinallyNewShoes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You and me, we come from different worlds.
learntouseapostrophe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel so bad for your parents
kinaaaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom did you a favor.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: "I SAID they don't tell that tape anymore...don't question me young man, you're not my father."
You: "Ma...MA...you're fibbing..."
Mom: "Why you little....I'm calling your father."
imlost19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also yes
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:49:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
21 million records begs to differ.
u_torn ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Certainly a lie your mother told you, but I doubt this qualifies as 'the most common lie'
freehunter ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:49:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Which is why it's a reply to someone else, not a top level comment.
Azuvector ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:53:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
1996 sounds about right for CDs, rather than tapes...
joshi38 ยท 1951 points ยท Posted at 15:01:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My mother didn't even lie to me about it. My favourite toy, wasn't loud, it was a stuffed duck (before you look to my username, no I'm not him), I played with him every day, and then one day he was gone. I asked my mother where he was. "Oh, it was getting ratty and I was tired of fixing it all the time, so I threw it away."
I miss you Fred.
EDIT: Since some people seem to like to take a single moment of poor judgement on my mothers part and decide she's a bitch or worse, I'd like to clarify that she's actually a wonderful woman and an amazing mother. She likely wasn't aware of how much it meant to me and to her defence, she had probably repaired Fred about 30 times before deciding to throw it out.
GoddamnBonafide ยท 909 points ยท Posted at 15:59:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. I'm 24 and just recently found my ratty old stuffed lion (aptly named Roar) My mother insisted on taking him for the day to repair a small hole in his ear, then she got him dry-cleaned and gave him back.
My mom is awesome.
that_looks_nifty ยท 379 points ยท Posted at 16:13:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom is awesome.
When I have my kid, I plan on using my rudimentary sewing skills to fix his/her stuffed animals that fall apart due to kid love.
ffxivthrowaway03 ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 17:26:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can also google "teddy bear hospital." There's a million little old ladies out there who do doll and stuffed animal restoration.
pixygarden ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 18:19:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As an adult, my dog got a hold of my bear from my childhood and literally tore his face off. I called my mother hysterical. She thought one of my kids had been killed I was crying so hard. She told me to put the bear and his stuffing/scraps into a bag. The next time she came to NY to visit me, she sewed him back up. It was probably the 100th time she had to sew that bear but hopefully this was the last time.
AgentHoneywell ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:24:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you think anything can be done for fading print? I have a Bedtime Bear pillow plush thing and he got faded last time he got washed.
ffxivthrowaway03 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:27:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, I'm no expert. You'd have to ask the little old lady at the teddy bear hospital. Never hurts to get a quote though.
iamreeterskeeter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:11:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What about using fabric markers and redrawing the faded ink? Not much more you can do other than add more ink.
that_looks_nifty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love that this exists. Like if it's a severe injury that I cannot fix, I can send it to the professionals. Like if our future dog (we really want a dog) rips it apart or something.
FireEagleSix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:53 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is amazing! I'm gonna write this down. My daughter is a little under a year and some of her favorite toys are already going ratty. I could sew some of them, but the really bad ones we could send to the teddy bear hospital. How cute!
zip_000 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 17:36:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Option two is to, once the kid has identified which toy is going to be their "special" toy, just go ahead and buy two of them. That way you have a replacement handy.
The master level of this strategy* - which we didn't realize until later - is to regularly rotate out the two copies of the toy (like the Olsen twins on Full House). That way they won't notice that the toy is suddenly new again and doesn't smell right if you ever actually lose one of them.
* Hopefully this doesn't lead to Capgras Delusions later in life!
TheWorkforce ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:59:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My daughters favorite stuffed animal is a meerkat that we got from a zoo a while back. Once I realized she was attached I bought 2 more on Amazon (for 1/3 the price at the zoo!) and I rotate them so they all wear evenly. She's only 1 so she hasn't noticed.
pixygarden ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:21:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is genius. I learned this lesson after my oldest lost his favorite blanket. I now keep multiples of my kids' favorite blankets/toys/clothes.
baconnmeggs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are brilliant
that_looks_nifty ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:23:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See that isn't a bad idea, but I worry that if my kid realizes it, it will sow the seeds of distrust because of the deception. Like who's the REAL toy? Was there ever a real toy? What if the toy is just a lie?
I prefer the idea of a battle-weary stuffed toy that carries the scars from years of play.
ChickenChic ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:08:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I think the primary reason to this is if that Green monkey your child has been obsessed with since birth suddenly gets left at the zoo and you don't realize it until you're in the car 50 miles away and your child starts that chin tremble followed by crocodile tears....
Magically, you get home and Green Monkey is there! It was magic and mommy has saved the day. Your child is none-the-wiser and thinks a miracle happened that day.
that_looks_nifty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:17:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is very true. Maybe make up a story that the monkey hitched a ride on the banana bus or something lol
bennitori ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:11:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry about it, it happened to my sister. My sister had 7 multiples of her stuffed bunny. My mom was a pro about wearing them out evenly. Then one day, one of the baby sitters was an idiot and left the laundry room door open, and my sister saw all 7 of them lying on top of the drier.
She figured out that she could tell them apart by how worn out the manufacturer tags were. She'd sit there with all of them in a pile and go "Not bunny...not bunny...Bunny!" It was quite amusing actually. If anything I think it taught her observation skills.
kaeroku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah man, you're just preparing them to enjoy Portal later in life.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
IONASPHERE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:57:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A...actual dogs?
TheTartanDervish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My youngest bro did this and his kid caught on pretty quickly -Sammy the Lion became Sammies the Lions pretty quickly but the kid didn't seem to mind having an extra.
zip_000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We never actually implemented the stratagem; our backup copies of each of my kids favorite toys (a blue bear in a bow tie, and oddly enough a My Little Pony from McDonald's) are still pristine in their packaging. Instead of being backup copies now they are really more like something to give the kids when they are older to maybe give to their kids.
SammieB1981 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:04:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have 3 little girls with tons of stuffed animals. Unfortunately many of them are cheap and poorly made. We have an animal hospital every couple of months where they bring me everything with holes or that needs repair and we restuff and fix them all.
iamreeterskeeter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:13:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We do this with my dog's toys. He only really like stuffed animals. Every few months I pull out the toys that have tears and my sisters and I get together and start sewing.
JediShark ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:03:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Been doing this for 7 years now. Fortunately my wife (daughters step mom) is significantly better at sewing than I am. My daughter has a green rabbit she's had since birth, so far the mouth has been stitched back on by me twice, and a hole in her ear was covered by a way too big blue/purple patch until my wife took it and fixed it properly while we were engaged.
that_looks_nifty ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:22:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think if my husband tried sewing, he'd sew his hand to the toy first lol
I know the basics, like I can ugly-hem a pair of pants and sew on buttons, but not much more than that. Over the years I'll probably get better as I repair torn up kid clothes because I expect my kids to play outside and get torn-up knees and etc because that's what kids do.
JediShark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:58:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I definitely almost did that the first time. A sewing needle hurts! Haha
MHG73 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When they get to an appropriate age, teach them to fix their own clothes. Then when they are adults themselves they can do their own repairs instead of calling you or paying someone. My mom taught me to sew just basic repairs and I'm so glad now that I'd have to pay to replace things myself.
WowzerzzWow ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:16:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if by fixing the toy you're making children much more needy and dependant on you, or teaching them a lesson by saying things break and not to get to attached.
Emmia ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:30:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's definitely not teaching them not to get attached-- If anything, it's teaching them that things break, and with a little elbow grease, it doesn't have to be thrown away.
kaeroku ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:11:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps they learn that things break and that sometimes, if you're willing to put time and effort in, broken doesn't mean "garbage" but rather "longevity."
This could possibly extend into other aspects of life, encouraging an ethic which involves working on problems to resolve them rather than throwing the baby out with the bathwater...
Budgiesaurus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:34:19 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't this overthinking parenting? Kid loves toy, toy get broken, you help your kid by fixing toy.
I don't think his issues with alcohol and a long string of broken relationships in his thirties can be linked to his parents fixing his teddy ;)
alimarie911 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:56:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a daycare and took a stuffed puppy home to stitch up the holes along the edge of his stomach... Everyone though I was totally going out of my way to do it..
I mostly did it because when the twin 4 month old boys start crying usually flopping the ears on the pink puppy is the only thing I can think of that calms them down.
that_looks_nifty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok that puppy sounds adorable. I remember growing up we had those Pound Puppy stuffed toys that were awesome, totally makes me think of those.
alimarie911 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:17:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is pretty stinkin' cute. I'll post pictures after the kids leave tonight.
Also, Pound Puppies Rule!
fruitasylum ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:22:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was little, I had a stuffed puppy (named "Puppy", hah) - my mom fixed it really crudely but no matter what it looks like, it's still one of my most prized possessions... Definitely fix toys for your kids, because you never know how much they will mean to the child decades down the road.
AngryDemonoid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:57:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I bought multiples of my son's favorite bear (Lotso from Toy Story 3). Neither one of us has the skills to fix it, so we need backups. ๐
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:16:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
You're going to be an awesome parent!
I still have my favorite stuffed toy which was fixed several times by my mom and grandma. My grandma passed 10+ years ago, but I still feel "connected" to her because of that toy and its "scars" where she worked her wonders.
Rahallahan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:20:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You will also want to get: stuffing, sharpies in lots of colors and stuffed animals eyes.
I've fixed many, many, many stuffed animals in my day.
thisiscotty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:06:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i still have a giant cow stuffed with the little white polystyrene balls somewhere in the loft.
i used to sleep within as a kid and saw it as a friend :D
as far as i know i was given it at alton towers
bennitori ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:06:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's what my mom did with me. I have a stuffed animal I've had for as long as I can remember (still not sure what animal it is, maybe a bear or mouse.) Around the time I turned 10, my mom got tired of sewing her up all the time. She finally told me "I'm not repairing her anymore. If you tear her or rip her, you're going to sew her. And that's how I learned how to sew.
speedx5xracer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:22:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I run a children's psych program, I clocked more hours doing stuffing transplants on injured stuffed animals than some of my actual responsibilities. Its a great way to earn their trust
SlowMotionRobot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:25:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was just faced with a torn up stuffed animal that was of course my nephews favorite toy. I have practically no sewing skills but I managed to pull it off. http://imgur.com/a/c80yU
that_looks_nifty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love the creepy thumb tack eyes picture lol
You did a great job!
MotherFuckingCupcake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:32:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, you just made a memory come crashing back to me. My mom started teaching me to sew while repairing my sister's beloved stuffed bunny.
Aken42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:56:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Buy them a doctor's kit and let them "help" you. Your kid will absolutely love it.
that_looks_nifty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:30:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember my toy doctor's kit I had when I was a kid. Had a blood pressure cuff, a big ole plastic bandage/bracelet, stethoscope, etc.
So many of my toys were "sick" and needed doctoring lol
Aken42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:09:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just bought an identical kit for my daughter. Now I get multiple checkups a day. Totally fun.
Emtreidy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:25:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Da did that. I was obsessed with Curious George (still am). Took him everywhere, shared my food with him, and couldn't sleep without him. Needless to say, he was super ratty & stank to high heaven. Legs fell off, his face tore and seams popped open. But Da could make him all better. Then George would have to leave on Christmas Eve to help Santa (like most kids, I wasn't going to sleep anyhow). George would always be waiting for me in the morning, all perfect and clean. Because Santa was magical. Wonder how many of those my Da bought over the years...
FlyOnDreamWings ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:43:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My little brother accidentally left his favourite toy/comfort item leaning up against the fireplace when he was little. Safe to say the whole face melted off of it. He was hysterical. Mum dug around and pulled out a Christmas hat and one of her favourite pair of trousers for the right material and promptly gave that toy a head transplant. Mum's are awesome.
2manymans ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:57:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My six year old daughter has a 30+ year old cabbage patch doll that she named "my own baby." she has lots of dolls with names, some of which are rather unusual (Piranha...) but this doll is just "my own baby." my husband and I call it "mob".
Anyway, my daughter loves this thing more than anything else in the world. She has had it since she was around 2 and it's her most special thing in the world. One day around 2-3 years ago, my dog was extremely stressed about something and ripped on of "mob's" legs off. I am not a talented seamstress. Mob now has one Frankenstein leg that is way shorter than the other. But my daughter still loves it as much as ever.
triaspia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:05:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Keep a "spare" thats (teddy)'s stunt double that fills in for teddy on days teddy is unwell
victoryfanfare ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:26:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents, aunt and uncle fixed up one toy for my sister in a way that you might find useful someday as well; my sister had a stuffed rabbit named "Dunny" that she loved so much that it became a threadbare mess with a mangled ear and missing bits, and no matter how many times mom sewed it up again, it was getting real ratty. My aunt came up with the idea of tracking down the same stuffed rabbit to replace it, under the guise of a "magic detergent" they would wash Dunny with. So my little sister got the detergent under the Christmas tree and got to put the detergent in the wash with Dunny, and later on take "Bunny" out of the dryer, perfectly renewed and fixed. She was thrilled.
This was before the internet was useful for this kind of thing so my aunt, uncle and parents went to literally hundreds of baby and toy stores to find that identical rabbit, which was probably 6-7 years old at the time anyway.
Years later my sister was messing around with things in storage at the top of her closet -- old baby clothes and the like -- and the original Dunny fell out on her head. She was fucking thrilled because from that point on she had two, and she remained thrilled even after mom explained how it worked because two is obviously better than one.
So: if your kid loves a toy to the point where you can't even fix it anymore, there is a way.
Shotyslawa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:04:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't plan to have kids of my own, but if any of my siblings/friends decides to do so, I'm going to use my crochet skills and make said animals from scratch. :D
thatguyinthemirror ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:42:42 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How the hell did you think medical students learned medical suturing?
calisai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:30 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had my dog chew up my favorite stuffed cat when I was real young. I about killed that dog. My parents had to literally drag me off him, he was pretty scared and never touched one of my stuffed animals ever again.
However, the first thing I did when my son latched onto a favorite stuffed animal? Scour online and buy 3 more and hide them in the top of the closet. Only had to use 1 of them, funny enough for a very similar reason. Pets can be jealous and/or destructive to those beloved toys.
therealhaagentii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
be careful about sewing holes in the bottom though.
Real_Adam_Sandler ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:42:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
His mom is awesome.
Cam confirm, of you know what I mean.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:20:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, you just stepped all over /u/joshi38 's heart. Not to mention Fred.
EstroJen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:50:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My baby doll was fixed and fixed until her cloth body fell apart, and then she began being fixed with duct tape. Her eyes didn't close so well anymore, and she has a big crack in her plastic cheek where I tried to feel her a Twizzler once. Everyone said she looks creepy and my mom was surprised I still slept with her on occasion when I was having a really bad day.
fuckface94 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:26:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I gave my son a little stuffed dino for valentines. Ended up with a big rip in him, it wasn't a pretty fix but it has successfully held up for months against a 9 yr old.
sandrakarr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in college, mom decided to repair a couple holes and wash my old stuffed bunny, and then mail him to me. When I picked up my box between classes, I wasn't expecting anything at all (figuring I'd get him back on the next break).
I am...really glad I was able to keep from opening that box til I got back to my place. A reputation of trying not to cry over a stuffed bunny (and getting one in the first place) is...something I could have done without.
KatieMcKaterson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:02:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom tried doing this for me with my favourite bear (Floppy). I loved Floppy because she was soooo soft. Felt like rabbit fur. Anyhoo, Floppy was white, so you can imagine how dirty she was getting just from being carried around all the time.
Mom put her through the wash. No problem.
Mom put her in the dryer.
Floppy felt like velcro.
I still get sad when I think about it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:21:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I remember when I left my teddy I always slept with at like 5/6 at my nan's house, so my mum drove all the way back and forth to bring me my teddy so I could sleep. I always thought that was awesome!
Mum's can be the most awesome people on the planet.
Default_Admin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a stuffed bunny I got for easter when I was 2 or something. I named him floppy ears. That's still his name and he belongs to my son now.
J0L0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother recently passed and while going through her things I found a stuffed toy that I thought was gone. It was my favourite until I grew out of it. It was a nice find.
Chantasuta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My SO has a small toy with a rattle in it that has been repaired so many times by his grandparents.
Recently it got a little beyond simple repairs so they went to the effort of finding some new fabric for it and sending it to a professional to get it fixed. It was a total surprise and he was over the moon to have it fixed. My SO is 23 and has had the toy since he was a baby.
His parents are awesome.
PM_me_ur_Dinosaur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OMG I never considered taking my ratty old bear to the dry cleaner! Thanks /u/goddamnbonafide's mom for the great idea!
meggawat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me neither! TIL. That's a great idea.
chasing_cheerios ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My son's lion is named Roary. Hes not his favorite- that spot belongs to a tiger named Hobbes whos seen better days in the last 4 yrs. But Roary does make it on the bed most nights. Your story made me smile.
all4hurricanes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine is named Simba
Im_Da_Noob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a stuffed lion names roary
PootieTang_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm currently laying on my baby blanket. I sleep with it every night. No shame!
Siphon1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can dry clean stuffed animals? Ive got a plush pikachu from 1999-2000 that could use a good cleaning.
baabaablackjeep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL I'm 28 and during our move last year, found my favorite snuggle animal ever, Mr. Furry!
Now, loving Mr. Furry required a bit of imagination: he had no eyes, nose, mouth.. Or even really a face at all. He had no legs. He pretty much was one big tail....
That's because Mr. Furry was one of the remnants the furrier gave back to my mom when she had her full-length mink coat shortened back in the 80's (when fur wasn't as abhorrent as it is today). Apparently, little baby me just grabbed up the ~ 1.5'x7" piece and wore him like a boa, snuggling my face into it. Come to think of it, I'm almost positive that while it had an anthropomorphic name, I really just treated Mr. Furry as a scarf/something cuddly to sleep with.
My SO's half brother had a favorite bear toy, aptly named "Mr. Dog," lol, that his mom, having raised 2 previous boys, knew to buy multiple of once it became "THE" toy. Unfortunately for her, little baby Z could reach out with his free hand (other one with thumb firmly in mouth), grope the toy's beans/stuffing in its butt and declare "That's NOT the RIGHT Mr. Dog!!" LOL!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One time one of my toys ripped and the stuffing was coming out, and my brother sewed it for me.
Itsthelongterm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still have my very worn stuffed dog...I named it "Bear". I bit off his nose at one point, and my mom sewed in a new nose with pink thread. I actually don't think I knew it was a dog until I was in high school. Doesn't really look like one.
iamerror87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love your mom. That is awesome.
thebeef24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was probably a wonderful experience for your mom, too. She got to spend a day living for the child you used to be.
glideguitar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
26, my mom still does occasional repairs on my from-birth stuffed bunny. really my only non-replaceable possession...
Dworgi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still have my teddy bear that I got when I was 1. I'm 30. I unabashedly love that object more than just about anything else in the world.
It's got shorter fur on its head because I gave it a hair cut.
Gurkinpickle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My kittens name is Roary. It was originally Rory from doctor who. But he never stopped talking. So he was renamed. He's a lion stripe kitten.
StrawberryR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:28:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite toy as a little girl was a dog toy shaped like a bear with no face, and it squeaked. I actually still have it in near-new condition. <3
Kaashoed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:38:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know exactly where Pipo the monkey is.
I apparently stole it from my brother when I was 1.
drugmonet ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:02:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, couldn't wait that long, I looked. Disappointed...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What is this a reference of? I seemed to have missed it.
drugmonet ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:50:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/u/fuckswithducks
That man is prolific... And he loves ducks... It appears to be mainly rubber ducks, but I'm not sure if he's really discriminatory
lostoldnameagain ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:48:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ouch. Just reading this makes me sad. I still keep my childhood toys, good thing in growing up poor is that there are not too many of them and no one would throw them away. I had my toy cars sold at some point, but that was not so bad cause they didn't have "personality" the way stuffed animal do.
thehardestlev ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:02:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom got me a giant stuffed caterpillar for my 5th birthday before she passed. Shitty grandmother that raised me threw out that caterpillar on my 10th birthday and told me I was too old for toys. Still makes me angry to this day.
camdoodlebop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
After my mom died I had to move in with my horrible step mom who, among other things, broke one of my mom's vases because it didn't go with her house
RivetheadGirl ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:53:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That sucks. I still have my childhood bear and im 32.
Lighthouse412 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:25:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
26 here! I keep mine in the car in case I have a panic attack in while I'm driving.
RivetheadGirl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:29:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aww, my little sister does that, but she has a stuffed shark, lol.
Depressed_Rex ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:35:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
17 here! I actually sleep with mine
Myworstnitemare ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:26:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 41 and I still have my first "Vermont Teddy Bearยฉโข"
this post not sponsored by our Teddy bear overlords.
dismalcrux ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:01:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh my god, i think i'd have a mini mental breakdown if my mom did that to my beloved floppy rabbit. i've had him for as long as i can remember and only recently found him again- he's now sitting on a shelf, in front of my old favorite vcr tapes.
steelbeamsdankmemes ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:24:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
RIP Fred.
joshi38 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:37:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, but he's not dead. To cope with my loss (I was a melodramatic child), I invented a narrative in my mind that he wasn't gone for good, he'd just gone travelling around the world, but one day he'd come back and tell me all about his adventures.
I actually did see Fred a few years after he'd left. I was at a fair and he was a prize in a raffle (same design in toy duck, they must have made a bunch though blow me if I can't find hide nor feather of him now). I entered the raffle, my naivete making me believe that I was destined to win him. I didn't win.
Got to say goodbye though. I hope he made some other kid as happy as he made me.
-____-_-_-_--_____-- ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:12:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aww that breaks my heart. My daughters favorite is a stuffed unicorn and I'm so attached to seeing her with it the I know it's going to break my heart when she doesn't sleep with it anymore. I'll keep that unicorn forever when she decides she's too big for it.
throughlymodernmolli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 21. I've had my teddy in bed with me every night fr the past 15 ish years. She might not grow out of it.
-____-_-_-_--_____-- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That would be fine with me, too. But that unicorn is a part of this family now :)
EarlKuza ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:06:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa I had a stuffed toy duck I named Freddie! Guess it's a duckish name.
joshi38 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was just a name I liked, I named about 3 stuffed animals Fred and they ranged from ducks to dogs (it was literally two ducks and a dog so...).
Funnily enough, Fred (one of the ducks, not the one that was thrown out) had a best friend who was a monkey. His name was George. Now, this could have been because of Curious George (though that wasn't nearly as popular in the UK and I don't think I was aware of that character when I named him), but either way, it's nice to know I came up with Fred and George long before Harry Potter was a thing.
JibJig ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:33:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had this janky, patched-together teddy bear named Gilbert that my grandmother made herself, and I just found it going through my closet the other day. Shit I made my mom go through hell and back to keep Gilbert safe and clean.
Moms are the real heroes.
TehKatieMonster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:38:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got one of my teachers a stuffed duck for her baby, and then I got one for mine. I also had a rubber ducked themed baby shower. >~>
DontChooseStrife ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:48:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
RIP Fred. We couldn't take you with us, but you were never left behind.
Zamasee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:38:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man. I feel for you. That was a cold move your mom pulled.
I mean, my sister still has her stuffed monkey, that thing's been patched up so often in the last 25 years that it has lost some of its features yet it's still going strong.
AlNemSupreme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to my dear Donald. Asshole dad chucked him out.
Aniline_Selenic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aww, and here I am re-sewing my dogs stuffed animal because he absolutely loves the thing and I don't want him to be without it. Getting a new one is just not an option for him.
monkeysinmypocket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, that's so sad. :-(
M0n5tr0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's terrible. My mom kept most of our stuffed animals and gives them to our kids to play with. My son came home with my rhinokey last week and I was thrilled to see my old friend.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, too late, well played. First time on Reddit someone made me look.
CrabFarts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My son got one of those from his grandmother when he was a toddler. The thing scared the hell out of him, so we had to take batteries out until he was older.
PlatinumDice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's a duck! And publishers are interested!
are-you-really-sure ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still looked.
Rahallahan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's cold. My 18 year old son still has his first stuffed animal. A stuffed dog with no spots that he named Spot. That thing has had "surgery" so many times, it's ridiculous, but he still has him! No way would I throw him out, he loves him!
fucktheroses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My security blanket got "taken by a mommy dog to keep her puppies warm" when I was 4. I found it in my moms closet when I was 16.
fuckitimatwork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've still got the teddy bear my grandma bought for me in the hospital gift shop where I was born. It's still in perfect shape and one of my favorite things.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My eyes went to your username as soon as I saw the word "duck."
Neutralgray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents did something similar to me. Had this Spider-Man action figure that kept falling apart. By the time it was thrown out it was held together almost all by duct tape. They're great parents but I wish they'd had the forethought to think "he might want it when he's older and understands sentimental value." I wouldn't care if it was in a small shoe box as scraps, I want my figure.
greffedufois ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom accidentally gave away my puffalump. I'd hid it away or something and she assumed I didn't play with it anymore. I ended up picking my teddy bear as my new favorite. Still have Teddy and sleep with him nightly. Just turned 26.
CheetahRei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a white baby blanket growing up that i kept for years. It had gotten stained and torn and ratty. One day i had taken it with me to a restaurant while we ate. We got in the car and were most of the way home when i realized i had left it. I was so upset that my parents turned around and we looked for it. We didn't find it. I was devastated. A few days later, low and behold my mom had gone back and found it! I was so happy that day.
I later found out the truth. She had found a new blanket and stained it, torn it, and ran it through the wash abiut 20 times. I am 25 years old now. I still have that blanket, and it means more to me now than the original ever did.
TheVitoCorleone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still looked at the username.
JJMcGee83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow I suddendly remembred my stuffed penguin. I had forgotten he existed and your story reminded me and I'm sad.
ghostguide55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I saw duck and checked the username before I saw your note.
ChickenChic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no! That's so sad! I'm 32 and I recently found Franklin, my old yellow blankie, at my mom's. She has been keeping it safe for me since I stopped sleeping with it when I was about 10.
BeesNeverSting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother wanted to throw away my brother's dreamcast. I said I was cool with it but make sure to ask my brother first.
So she throws it out and blames it on me for saying it was okay.
lurcher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Mom did this with my favorite stuffed animal when I was 6, I was not cool with it. Still harbor some resentment, especially since my Gramma gave it to me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom did this with my goldfish.
1drlndDormie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know your pain, only my mother gave my dollhouse because I took real good care of it. I had that thing for four years and was meticulous about keeping it clean and putting everything in its' place after I was done because i had lost a couple of pieces early on. My mom just thought I never played with it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a similar situation. Got this bear at the State Fair, it was pretty shittily made. Basically tore every other week. My grandma would always repair it and send it back to us good as new. Eventually my mom got tired of this I guess and threw it away. I asked where it was and she said it 'disappeared'. Found it later that day in the trashcan and couldn't stop crying :(
StopTheMadnessBro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is weird on reddit how anything not perfectly loving is turned into the most terrrible thing imaginable.
CBFisaRapist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, that sounds like Reddit all right.
Herry_Up ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's fucking terrible. My mom fixes my cats stuffed elephant every time he rips it open. I'm sorry for your loss.
arguably_pizza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That sucks man. How old were you when he got tossed? I wonder if it's better to be honest with the kid or tell a comforting lie.
I got a stuffed pink panther when I was two and we were absolutely inseparable for many years. His name is Pinker. At this very moment, my two year old son is taking a nap, curled up next to Pinker.
I know they're just "things" but there's more to them than that. The idea that this stuffed panther has survived thirty years of who knows how many hurried moves, wild dogs, misguided adolescent purges of "childish things" to now be here, comforting my son in the lonely darkness, the same way he used to comfort me.. Just blows my mind. There's so much history and emotion tied up in this little toy, it's hard not to think of him as a part of my family.
weary_dreamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahahaha you totally saved me from scrolling to your username
horsenbuggy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing, man. My mother was the best in the world. But she let my older sister cut up my blanket without telling me. I'm able to make my sister feel guilty about it though, now that she's a mother. Neither one of us can figure out why my mother let her do that.
coastal_vocals ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom and I recently found my old stuffed clown Jojo while cleaning out the storage room. I have no idea what liked so much about him as a kid, because he was TERRIFYING. We threw him away.
Neckwrecker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom gave away my Legos and I'll never forgive her.
MILeft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My husband is 75 and still misses the toy elephants that he had in early childhood. I've offered to replace them or make something like them for him over the years, but it just seems to be a moment of sadness that surfaces once in awhile. He is also still mad at his parents for not telling him the truth about Santa Claus. I think there's a connection between the two events - maybe the fact that adults could no longer be trusted.
baconnmeggs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love that you aren't bitter about it and you defend your mom!
C_ore_X ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had this...thing made out of wool kinda shaped like a dick shaft I used to sleep with and carry around until I was like 6, and during this time my grandma decided to clean at my dads apartment (parents separated when I was 1) and threw the bloody thing in the trash. Of course I wailed like I broke an arm and my dad went and dug it out of the trash, washed it and gave it to me. Love ya dad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aw buddy :( Maybe you-know-who can hook you up with a new Fred. I'd get it dry cleaned before you cuddle it though.
poliscicomputersci ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad tells this story still, 50-some years later: when he was a little kid, probably 3 or 4, he had a teddy bear that he loved. His older sister had gotten tired of her favorite stuffed animal around that age and so his mom just decided that he was too old to carry around the toy anymore. As a little boy, like so many little boys, he thought the garbage truck was super cool. His mom's solution was to have him hand-deliver the teddy bear to the garbage man one morning, which apparently really traumatized him and became his earliest memory.
Gadetron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a orange bear that I my mom got out of a claw machine when I was 2.I took that thing everywhere until I was 9. And every time a hole appeared, she'd fix it.she also would talk through it. I didn't find out until I brought him to show and tell, and he never spoke.I was so embarrassed.I got mad and cried and yelled at my mom for being the voice behind the bear.
boldnesstodream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I babysat a girl whose favorite stuffed animal was a cheapo from Walgreens. Once they noticed her attachment the mom bought like 15. She had them on a rotation of three at a time and replaced them when they got too worn. I always thought that was amazing but also like lots of overkill tbh.
HappycamperNZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, checked your name regardless.
owningmclovin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She was repairing him because he was important
Nyrb ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mums a cunt.
undreamedgore ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mother sounds like a bitch
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She's a bitch!!!! Soulless slut! !!
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 14:28:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this so many times. I'm always amazed at how loud and annoying they make those things.
kennyl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:40:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Alright, a standard vacuum is 70 decibels. Let's make make the toy vacuum 90 decibels, just for the heck of it."
toastedpup27 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:45:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right? The toys are pretty annoying too. HA
...love me...
anomalous_cowherd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But they do make lovely gifts for the kids of people you don't like...
alternativespecs ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:14:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, okay, you got me...
kennyl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Alright, I guess I need to work on my short-term memory then."
Pvt_Lee_Fapping ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:10:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bought a pair of thunder sticks as a kid during one of my brother's soccer games. I brought them home afterwards and the next day I went looking for them.
They were torn to shreds on the lawn; "the dog must've gotten them from your room," she said. Except the dog was a seven pound eight ounce chihuahua.
godbois ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:12:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to me when I was a kid. I had one of those vacuum cleaner corn popper toys when I was 3. It was my favorite toy. My mom told me about a year ago that she threw it out. She was laughing and said I looked everywhere for it.
I don't remember the toy. And as a parent I can sympathize with her. But I felt so bad so toddler me. All I can think about is my son wandering our house, sad, looking for his favorite toy but never able to find it. I resent her a little for it now.
tipsana ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:53:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Before we were parents, a friend's 2-year-old son handed his toy train to my husband and asked him to fix it. Before the kid's parents could stop him, my husband said, "Here's your problem -- the batteries are in backwards!"
That godawful train played disney tunes in a train's whistle/scream for an hour before we left.
NotSoSelfSmarted ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:42:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ours is "Oh, guess the batteries died!" Which works for now with our 4 year old. Or, if he is particularly insistent, we just hide it or throw it out and find him something else equally fun and less annoying.
This also works with music in the car. He likes music a lot, but he wants to hear his "new song" over and over on repeat, which can last for hours. (Side story: I was driving him and my dad for what should have been a 5 hour trip. A massive highway shutdown caused us to be on the road for 10 hours. We listened to Adele's "Send my love" song on repeat for most of that). I don't mind it so much, but my husband can't stand it. So the excuse is either that the radio doesn't work or that I don't have battery on my phone.
ApprovalNet ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:20:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Will you both be supportive when he comes out?
GigaGrim ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:43:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fine mom, you break my toy, I'm gonna break yours.
kennyl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But what toys do moms have?
( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
mortokes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:18:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once my parents bought the dog a bike horn for a Christmas toy. He was so happy for the five minutes he had it.
explodingcranium2442 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:22:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funny story. I got a Furby for my 12th birthday, and my mom hated that thing. Like any kid, I lost interest in it and she happily tucked it away in the attic, making sure to take out the batteries.
Fast forward 10 years. We moved into a new house (three stories). My mother was in the kitchen (first floor) and she hears this weird jingle from the floor above. She goes upstairs, and despite looking everywhere, she cannot find the source of the sound. She then hears it again, from the ceiling above her bedroom. She goes up into the attic, and lo and behold the Furby was singing, of all things. She still hates it, needless to say.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have yet to hear a story about a furry that isn't creepy has hell. Take the batteries out before you store it, and a decade later that soulless eyed ball of horror is in your attic singing in tongues? Nah. Naaaaaah.
coole106 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:34:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom stole Doom from me when I was little (I used to play literally every day all day when I was about 6-7 yrs old) and told me that someone stole it.
AMHousewife ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:35:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to just unscrew the toy and clip the speaker wire. Then lie that I didn't know what happened to the sound.
sobrique ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bought my nephew a honky bike horn. He love it. But it mysteriously broke....
... and then he found he could just blow it like a trumpet.
I was a popular Uncle... :)
twistmental ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Best thing I ever did as a dad was get my daughter some legit drums to pound on. I'm not stupid and I have noise cancelling headphones. My ex did not and still does not.
Christmas was glorious as I taught her how to use the sticks and my ex glared at me when the chaos began. She glared even more when I left that set there. Sorry, that's how 60/40 custody works. I gotta let my baby girl get as much practice as she can, and you have her more.
50/50 custody is back on the table.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I promise I didn't break the radio due to my aversion to your karaoke impressions."
adrianmakedonski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle used to buy me and my brothers the loudest and most obnoxious toys for our birthdays.
whatizzit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my uncle bought me a 1,000 plastic bead set.. good man.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And clothes. When I was a teenager my ironic tshirts and ratty baseball hats had a way of disappearing.
Dan_Berg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...and then reappearing on my 5 years younger but almost just as tall cousin. Weird right?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We also never got a dog when I was growing up because mom had "allergies". Alleges that apparently went away when my kid sister got a chocolate lab puppy for her 10th birthday while I was away at college.
lazyFer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
shf500 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel sorry for kids whose parents destroy/get rid of their toys just because the toys are "loud"
fuck-dat-shit-up ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hyperbole & a Half has a great story about a talking parrot. It makes me laugh even thinking about it.
Wykingstrong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
One roll of white and one roll of black duct tape should be on every baby shower registry. The minute you are handed any noise making toy, neuter that bitch by covering the speaker with one or several layers of matching tape. Enjoy that nap.
JPAchilles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my sister's case, when she lost something, we REALLY DON'T KNOW where it is. Unfortunately, she also lost our things too
nelsonmavrick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents solution was to keep putting dead batteries in this toy electric guitar I had. Then if I was good they would "go to the store" to get new ones.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure my mom threw out the jacket I always wore to the arcade (my "lucky jacket") because the pockets were stretched out due to the constant strain of quarters. I used to wipe my nose on the sleeve until it was crusty. Apparently moms aren't on board with the snot-sleeved, stretched pocket look. It "disappeared" one day, and when I asked about it she replied, "You must've left it at one of your friends' houses." A decade later, I found a similar jacket--same style and color--in a J. Crew catalog and in no time stretched the pockets and waited for my first runny nose.
simonowens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I spent three damn weeks searching for Barney the dog. I even enlisted my friends to help me. Every time I heard a far off dog barking I ran to see if it was Barney.
Found out as an adult my parents were tired of it digging holes under the fence and escaping and they gave it to the pound.
Silvystreak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or similarly, "I threw out your favorite toy you play with all the time because I never see you playing with it"
Wtf
falco_iii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LFT - least favorite toy.
Steps to counteract LFT: make it disappear when a new toy shows up.
Use clear tape over the speaker to reduce volume.
Remove or don't replace batteries.
Get back at the person who gave the toy - put it on the top shelf and say "you can only play with this when that person comes over or we go to their house." Watch the LFTs stop coming in.
Drawtaru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"What's that? Your really obnoxious jumping ball that plays a 15-second song on repeat forever even when you're not playing with it isn't working? Awww it must be broken. Sorry, baby."
MrWheeler4520 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never did find out what happened to my Teddy Ruxpin :(
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bought my niece a kitchen set with metal pots and pans when she was 18 months old. So loud. They had been replaced with plastic on a later visit.
I_hate_Dan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like to take it to the next level and blame them for not taking care of their things.
shf500 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If your kids find out what really happened to their stuff, what do you plan on telling them when they (justifiably) become angry with you?
I_hate_Dan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My kids are 5 and 2 so they haven't figured it out yet, but I know my 5-year-old is getting too old for it. At the same time, it's kind of true. They pretty much don't take care of any of their shit.
JohnGillnitz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone gave my son a Sponge Bob card that sang Happy Birthday in Sponge Bob's voice. After 20 min. of it that card had to go.
itswhywegame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No I'm so sorry I don't know how to fix it. No your father doesn't know either, we should just throw it away."
infinitezero8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"mom whatever happened to that stuffed toy I loved?"
"oh honey.. I donated it to kids that needed it more than you"
"How do you make such a decision without even asking me?"
"you were too old for that stuffed toy"
"..mom, I WAS 10 YEARS OLD!"
"Too old for stuffed toys"
rage
emaciated_pecan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Much similar to "I don't know what happened to your cat while you were gone at college"
TehKatieMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno if this is weird but I don't actually mind the loud toys. The only toy I do mind is the airplane that sings, because it doesn't have a quieter setting, but I only mind at night when I'm trying to sleep.
NeonDisease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WHY DID YOU BUY IT FOR ME IF IT'S SO OBNOXIOUS???
GLaDOs18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I told that to my sister. She had this toy saxophone that I still hear in my nightmares so I took it and hid it. Luckily my mother backed me up.
Jade_GL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly, my mom somehow "accidentally" recorded over my VHS copy of The Wizard of Oz. I mean, I did watch it every day after school when I was 5, and she does hate the movie with a passion, but she claimed it was an accident. :D
M0n5tr0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In hyperbole and a half the chapter about the talking toy parrot had my rolling. It has happened to everyone who has ever had an obnoxious talking toy.
LexUnits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha my mom fessed up to throwing away my Snoopy Snow-Cone maker, after lying that it disappeared. It turns out that shaving ice-cubes into a snow-scone with a shitty plastic crank is not as much fun as it looks. Kid me realized that quickly so I'd spend about a minute doing it then recruit my parents.
Ryuk- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a Playmobile police car with a working siren. You can probably imagine how long it was working.
basaltgranite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We've sometimes given a particular nephew a slide whistle, for reasons best not mentioned here.
vomitfreesince83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents bought my brother and I Hungry, Hungry Hippos (https://youtu.be/qnR8GdJcCL8?t=33) when we were younger for Christmas. They threw it out and didn't tell us, but the following year, we asked for it again and they bought it having forgotten what the game was. That was also promptly thrown out.
1kLlamas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It broke...accidentally on purpose
TheRealBaanri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Mama's all out of French fries. Have some green beans instead."
hlfempty69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom just straight demolished mine in front of me
ehsteve23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry, it must be broken. Look I just put in new batteries for you (inserted the wrong way round)"
FissureKing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother and I were given toy machine guns by a relative. They would make a machine gun sound when you pulled the trigger.
That lasted about two weeks until Mom got a hold of them.
doom32x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was my Mom covering for my Dad. I had received a fireman's helmet that had a loud as hell flashing red light on the front. It worked for maybe two weeks and then all of a sudden the light was the only thing working and both parents were flummoxed. Found out years later from my dad that he had disconnected the speaker.
The gift was revenge from my Father's brother for some play-doh that was gifted to my older cousin that he promptly ground into some white shag carpeting,
Deruji ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every kids party we get invited to I buy the noisiest toy possible as a gift. If they don't get the hint I swear ima buy air horns.
theaxis12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL good one. Our toy said "You did it. Alright. Great Job!" in this awkward cadence that me and my brother still reference to this day.
gotchabrah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
.... You mean to tell me my mom didn't accidentally leave it behind when she told me she was packing it in the car for our 9 hour road trip? All this time I trusted her. Never again.
blackheart0903 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend has a 6 year old niece. Apparently at one time she got a pair of tap dancing shoes (not sure where they came from) and she loved them and wore them nonstop for about 6 months. She told me one day one of the shoes just randomly disappeared and she couldn't find it. Of course when she asked nobody knew where they went (most likely in a bonfire)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have a toy puppy that barked, walked and flipped backwards. I loved that thing. Years later my mom said she threw it away cause I wouldn't stop playing with it. :,(
And then more years later she denied having ever said that. DON'T LIE TO ME!!!
Senuf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ow, my drum...
officer21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
PSA: How to turn the volume down on any toy
peensandrice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents had me convinced that Christmas toys only made music in the week leading up to Christmas. After Christmas they wouldn't work anymore.
...sneaky parents.
LlamaLlamaPingPong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. I say "it's broken" so much I actually don't remember if things are broken or if I just don't want them to work anymore.
Sawysauce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am I the only kid who couldn't wait until the batteries died or took them out because the noises I made were better than the toy?
thegapinglotus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That CAT brand steering wheel toy grandma gave you that vibrates, lights up and makes a horrible noise? Oh, honey, the batteries died, and they don't make them anymore! I'm sorry....
Admiral_Hakbar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a remote control AT-AT walker as a kid. It had a cord, and it was ridiculously obnoxious sounding when it walked. I played with that thing non-fucking-stop.
One day, i came home and my mom had "accidentally" sucked up the cord in the vacuum cleaner. She said "I'm sorry sweety, but you really shouldn't leave your toys out. I didn't see it until it was too late." (I had left a battle scene, with lincoln logs and jenga pieces as buildings and the AT-AT would walk through them/knock them over.) The AT-AT was still in tact, just the cord to the control shredded. She said "well at least you can still play with it." -.-
Kekoa_ok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum and aunts threw away the monster toys from my power ranger sets cause they thought they were for devil worshipping
mrcouchpotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad I'm not the only one who grew up in the middle of the great AA shortage.
smashley4915 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't know what happened to those jeans you love that I hate"
ali_koneko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone gave my bf's kid a kazoo and a harmonica. He's 4, plays one fucking note really loud for what feels like an hour, because apparently he's secretly deaf. I want to know who hates us so much that they thought it was a good idea. Both are in the trash.
zerbey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Buying loud toys for the children of new parents is a rite of passage. The most evil kind are the ones that play short snippets of a tune. Over and over.
llDurbinll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same, except it was a scooter. I did hurt myself pretty bad on it once, foot slipped off the brake on a small hill and my big toe dragged on the ground the entire way. Ended up tearing the skin off below the nail and a good chunk of the pink part of my nail. It didn't tear completely off but was just hanging there.
Shortly after that it was put in my grandmother's car and "disappeared" one day when I wanted to go ride it. The excuse was "I must have left the doors unlocked and someone stole it". Even as 25 year old adult she still won't admit that she got rid of it.
lizbunbun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As the eldest of 3 kids, if my sisters' loud flashing toys got too annoying, I'd find a screwdriver, pop the toy open, disconnect the wire to the speaker, and close it back up. Awww, it doesn't make a sound anymore :( well it still flashes, at least. Must be getting worn out.
CoffeeMermaid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents had an unspoken rule that for every toy we received we had to donate one. I wasn't aware of that last part until most of my toys were gone & my mom told me she would sneak & get rid of the most broken toys or the ones we don't play with anymore
spryfigure ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I sidestepped with the toy into my room before wrapping it for Christmas and took the sound chip out. Grandma was a little disappointed that her gift was 'broken', but my daughter enjoyed the silent toy.
stillhasmuchness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My son is grown and is the oldest of all his cousins so we don't have to worry about consequences. So my husband takes great pride in picking out the loudest and most obnoxious toys he can find as Christmas gifts to torment our siblings (the parents).
Smkingbowls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I won a dart board at a carnival when I was younger maybe 7 or 8 . Played with it once, then it disappeared. My mom told me the Easter bunny took it.
She said that "he" didn't want me to have it
I didn't even believe in the Easter Bunny
Mkkoll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All of those kinds of toys have always bothered me from a waste standpoint. Toys for the past 2-3 decades have been wasteful. Big chunks of plastic with speakers and lights and batteries and logic boards etc. Theres alot going into making one of those toys! And more often than not kids will play with them until they are destroyed or the batteries die and they go in the attic to live out the rest of their days.
stopthemadness2015 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a dad, the first rule to Xmas gifts was...if it requires batteries...it's a no go for buying. Of course, this was before Iphones, Ipads, and other devices.
WordEGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oops I ran over the annoying barney guitar thing that wouldn't stop . . . lol
arichone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We have an annoying unicorn with dead batteries right now...
picardo85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's Ok. Grandma / Grandpa / Uncle / Aunt / Friend / Sister / Brother / Cousine und so weiter und so fort... will buy something else that makes a lot of irritating sounds :D
Yes, I'm THAT guy.
[deleted] ยท 1496 points ยท Posted at 14:20:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Change out of that wet bathing suit or you'll get diarrhea.
Only years later did I learn that this was a trick so we didn't sit on the couch in a wet bathing suit.
Matrix_V ยท 1039 points ยท Posted at 16:24:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why didn't they just say "don't sit on the couch with a wet bathing suit" instead of lying?
NineteenthJester ยท 1474 points ยท Posted at 16:43:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because kids want to sit on a couch in a wet bathing suit more than they want to get diarrhea.
[deleted] ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 17:46:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
While what you said is true, "kids want to not get diarrhea more than they want to not sit on the couch in a wet bathing suit" fits the situation better.
bvlshewic ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:33:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't abide your use of split infinitives: "kids want diarrhea less than they want to sit on the couch in a wet bathing suit."
unclenoriega ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 18:36:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't abide this ridiculous fad of Latinizing English grammar.
Cato_theElder ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:45:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. Furthermore, Carthage must be destroyed.
Verlepte ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:42:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out
AnneFranc ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:26:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think the kids care about sitting on the couch, so that part doesn't matter. They just don't feel like changing, and this is a good way to get them to change.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:40:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well they think they'll be going back into the water later... but later never comes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was really hoping no one would catch that, but I should have known better.
ColorTimesTen ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:26:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
can confirm; used to swim a LOT when I was a kid, my argument was always "what's the big deal? it'll dry!"
_Guinness ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:12:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok so it's super easy to say "change or I'm changing the wifi password".
NineteenthJester ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What if the kid knows how to hack the password?
doublehyphen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then I would be quite impressed. It is not that easy to extract a wifi password.
Dalimey100 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:44:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
When I was 11 I heard the word "crotch-rot" applied to wearing wet clothings/trunks too long. I have no idea what there is to it, but I sure as shit didn't make an effort to find out.
aalabrash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I get chafed like a mother fucker if I wear wet swim trunks and walk around. Maybe it's that
IntrinsicSurgeon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kids are so fucking weird. I can confirm, I also really wanted to sit on furniture in my wet swimsuit for some reason.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:37:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
most kids
romanozvj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
True but IMO people should teach their kids how to act instead of scaring them into doing the right thing.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:20:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
romanozvj ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:43:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's "one less headache" to also completely neglect your kids but you won't that either, will you?
When I was a little kid I would cry everytime I did something wrong because it felt wrong, not because of scare tactics. That's called good parenting.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:18:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:57:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
romanozvj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People like you are why parenting should require a license.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:49:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
romanozvj ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:23:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No and never will, because I'd be a bad parent.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:29:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
romanozvj ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:34:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Being young and not having kids is irrelevant, since experience is not the only way to learn about parenting. I can tell you for a fact that using scare tactics to make your children behave instead of teaching them right and wrong is going to result in horrible people once they get clever enough to see through your "harmless white lies" and now nothing is preventing them from doing wrong things, since you didn't even try giving them a moral compass.
NineteenthJester ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:39:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some people don't know how to talk to their kids, so they resort to scare tactics.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:54:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You said that backwards.
a-r-c ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:46:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
because kids are fuckin pricks and will immediately do the opposite
neutronicus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:15:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 28 and I still don't give a shit if the couch gets wet.
TracerBulletX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
if i remember correctly its cause after a day at the pool there was nothing more alluring than immediately flopping on the couch to play nintendo or watch afternoon cartoons. aint nobody got time for changing clothes.
Sawses ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:55:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly never got why people lie to their kids. My parents literally just had to go, "We don't want you doing this thing. This is why." And, if it made sense, I'd be like, "K." Or...If it didn't, I'd want to do it anyway but at least I knew why it was a bad idea. Usually I agreed, TBH... No cocaine? Fine by me.
f-ingunicorns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, not saying this is why, but staying in a wet bathing suit too long (at least as a girl I know) puts you at a higher risk of a UTI and I'm pretty sure just saying diarrhea would be easier to explain to a kid than that
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 17:29:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AntawnJamison ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:32:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You alright dog?
Pizza_Delivery_Dog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
sigh no
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:34:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Stomega ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:01:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Call 911 if you smell burnt toast.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There would be consequences if my children didn't do what I said.
But then, I'm wise enough to know I will never want children.
pinkluloyd ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:24:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
man my parents just said don't sit on the couch in a wet bathing suit or I'll kick your ass
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:28:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly I'd rather be threatened with an ass-whooping than diarrhea. You get over an ass-whooping in ten minutes. Diarrhea is always a mystery.
supergzus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not if you're lactose intolerant. I get to decide when diarrhea comes!
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 17:02:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
yakisaki ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:35:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
thats what my mom and aunts told us. Except for "yeast infection" they would said "Crotch rot" so you can imagine how quickly we changed. My family is brutal
sagetrees ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:49:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
nice, crotch rot sounds like it doesn't discriminate by gender
kthx_bye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha. crotch rot.
My bffs mom told us this was why we couldn't share a suit, she also called the hoo-ha a "Virginia".
kthx_bye ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao. You try explaining that to a 5 yr old.
Honestly don't because that's all they will talk about for a year.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why not both!!?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:51:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:52:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think we should throw in a UTI just for good measure. It's a party in your pants and everyones invited!
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:34:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean if you are female you can get yeast infections from that. After seeing my mom go through that on a resort trip, I learned quickly.
Azusanga ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:49:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was told that we would get a rash.
Jokes on her, I would take off my bathing suit, wait until she's bathing my little brother, then run around the front yard buck ass naked. We lived on a very very busy street. I'm glad I grew out of that when I turned about 5 or so
PluralofSloop ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:23:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually got a rash from it, I was at summer camp and the counselors told us "just leave that on under your clothes" 4 hours later every inch of my butt itched and my dad told me to take my bathing suit iff in the car. Ended up with prescription creme for a few weeks and was terrified of not getting my bathing suit off as SOON as I was out of the water for like a year.
Azusanga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shame on that counselor! I hope you're all okay now
PluralofSloop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! Yeah it took about a year but I was able to calm down about my bathing suit on and even though this was... Dear lord like 15 years ago (when did that happen) I still try to take my suit off asap and always end up checking for a rash
MyFirstOtherAccount ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:37:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But you will get "CROTCH ROT"
yakisaki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL thats what my family said.
SpaceCowGirl93 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a girl it was, change out of your wet bathing suit or you'll get an infection. Your comment is making me wonder if it was a lie but I don't want to find out. . .
sagetrees ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:50:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
not a lie. Source: am girl, left wet bottoms on too long, 3 weeks of itching agony.
weekend_fun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:18:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm using this one. Only because it's funny and I like toilet humor.
thumpas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:51:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why did she need to trick you? Mine just said that if I got the furniture wet it'd be the last thing I ever did.
houseofleopold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
gonna use this.
dementperson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you talking about bathing shorts with a lining/net inside? Yea, sit outside for one or two hours with those wet when it's a cloudy/cool summer day and I'll promise you you'd wish you had diarrhea as you'll shit your intestines out every 10 minutes for three days straight.
mercwithamouth5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought you said "shit on the couch in a wet bathing suit" and I laughed my ass off.
cerrasaurus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That went from 0-100 real fast.
Ramza_Claus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was just a trick to get you naked before your diarrhea struck.
Uhmerikan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So instead of making rules they lied. That's dumb af.
TonyBanana420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It can give you hemmoroids thoug
sagetrees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
change out of that wet suit or you'll get a yeast infection is a pretty accurate threat for girls.
CasiInAPumpkin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum just put a big towel on the couch, so I could sit on it. It worked for the dogs, so she just started to do the same with me.
ChuckChuckB0Buck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A wet bathing suit and diarrhea aren't mutually exclusive... - one who knows
pocketpants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This made me cry laughing! Like, what the actual fuck? What a random thing to tell your kids.
lorraine_baines_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They could've just said you'll get a UTI. True story.
FPSGamer48 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is....is this a common lie? I've never heard this before!
Vargasa871 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also, she saved you from a mean rash.
Computationalism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lolwut?
Alybank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you're a girl though, it can give you a yeast infection.
tatertotshotdish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom just said "change out of that wet bathing suit or you'll get a yeast infection." And if we tried to fight it, we got to hear about how SHE got a really bad yeast infection once because she sat around in a wet bathing suit all day.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
haha I never got that line. My mom was fond of saying "don't go outside with wet hair, you'll catch pneumonia."
ihayteyerfayce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahahahhaa. Oh my god, I can't imagine making something like that up. How... creative.
RadSpaceWizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They couldn't have just told you not to wear a wet swim suit indoors? And why such a disgusting threat?
Your parents are weird.
franticshouting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:40 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can't stop laughing at this
Loverboy21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:05:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife seems to think diarrhea is a condition caused by being either cold or wet, or by drinking coffee with too much sugar.
One of these things isn't wrong, but I just let her be.
MagicBandAid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, but if you walk too much in a damp bathing suit, you can get rashes from the friction on your thighs. I discovered this a couple of weeks ago. I'm 29.
[deleted] ยท 4426 points ยท Posted at 14:00:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Come on, wake up, it's half eight!" Actually 8:07.
"When you're older." Usually in response to some ridiculous hair style request.
"You're old enough to not have to ask now." does the thing "Why didn't you ask?"
[deleted] ยท 1592 points ยท Posted at 14:20:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
deadaardvark ยท 534 points ยท Posted at 15:39:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents like to say "cmon it's after eight!" When it's 8:03
YDG21 ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 17:23:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents like to say "it's going on 9 o'clock" when it's 8:14
Cypork ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:51:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum is like "wake up it's 7:00!"
Actually 5:30 am.
This happens every morning.
Poo-et ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:07:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum is like "I CALLED YOU OVER HALF AN HOUR AGO" as the time approaches 10 mins...
Nikcara ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 17:09:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a teenager I used to sleep past noon on the weekends or whenever I did t have to get up. Every time I came downstairs I'd be greeted with "good afternoon!" No matter if it was afternoon or not.
They still do this. It's been years since I've slept until noon, even when sick. I've been greeted with "well good afternoon to you!" when coming downstairs with my toddler at 6 in the goddamn morning.
PM_me_duck_pics ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 17:47:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to stay with my parents for the summer, and if I ever got up after 7am I'd hear all kinds of passive aggressive comments, even though I usually got home from work at midnight. Still infuriates me.
Nikcara ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:18:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. I worked 3rd shift a while back and most of my family would give me shit if I was still in bed after 10am. I didn't live with them but they would call and leave passive-aggressive voice mails because I turned the ringer off when I slept.
I typically got home around 7:00am, but clearly the reason I wasn't ready to start my day by the "perfectly reasonable" time of 10am was because I was lazy.
My family aggravates me a lot. Though by now the "good afternoon" thing is more something I roll my eyes at and laugh about.
pheesh_man ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:58:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got that same shit too. I worked nights and my family would act like it's perfectly reasonable for me to completely change my sleep schedule for two days while I visit. I always made an effort to wake up earlier than I usually would, but there's no way I'm sleeping only a couple hours a night while I visit my parents.
deadaardvark ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:12:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually pretty funny ๐
Joetato ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:01:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother would say "It's almost 9pm!" at 8:01. I remember it annoyed the hell out of me as a kid and I'd try to get her to stop saying it, but she never did. As soon as it was a minute past the hour, it was "almost" the next hour.
ProfCunningFox ยท 245 points ยท Posted at 15:53:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They're technically correct, which as everyone knows is the best kind of correct /s
BenderIsGreat1729 ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 16:42:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Am 40% technically correct.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:10:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
username checks out.
chongnosall ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:39:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This fact can be confirmed by me, Bender!"
x_JUMPER_CABLE_MOM_x ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:16:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
what about the other 60% ?
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:51:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No need for the /s it is the best type of correctness. I love being technically right because the other person is technically wrong.
Joald ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unless they're not. Like when my mom says it's midnight when it's 23:15.
opalorchid ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 17:07:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm seeing a lot of things I do to my boyfriend on here. I used to try waking him up when he was supposed to wake up.... But then he just goes back to sleep for another half hour to two hours. So now I tell him "after 8" if it's 8:01 so he's more likely to snap out of sleep on time. Even if he does get up when he needs to, he wastes time "taking a shit" (playing on his phone) for 20 minutes and then showers because god forbid he just use toilet paper to wipe his ass like a normal person (another half hour) and then complains that I didn't give him enough time to get ready.
And then complains that I act like his mom. As if I want to act like his mom instead of partner when I'm already acting as a mom to our son.
[deleted] ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 18:19:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
So warn him that you're not going to prod/wake him up anymore and then don't wake him up anymore.
Either he'll learn to manage his morning on his own or he'll stop complaining about you helping him in the morning. Both are preferable to the current situation.
opalorchid ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:25:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd really rather not deal with the verbal abuse, gas lighting, and blame that would result from that.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 18:28:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry to hear that. It sounds like your relationship has more serious issues than the annoyances that you've described in your first post.
loljetfuel ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:08:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you're changing your behavior because you have a justified fear that not doing so would lead to abuse, there is already abuse.
californiadreaming12 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:11:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I really recommend the book "Why does he do that?" by Lundy Bancroft. It's an excellent insight into how abusive relationship dynamics work.
opalorchid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, I'll read that :)
alexanderthewhite ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:24:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your partner sounds like a real dick.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:40:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You don't have to endure that. I hope you're working on an exit plan.
opalorchid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:07:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend in an almost identical situation and we're planning an exit strategy together
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:31:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good luck!
opalorchid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!
-Umbra- ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 19:02:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit relationship counselors strike again
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:23:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So...you're planning on leaving, right?
opalorchid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:14:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Working on it. I'm in a bit of a hole but so is my friend. We're both in relationships with cheating, controlling, verbally abusive, assholes and we're working on a plan to get out together.
Amp3r ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:39:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can do it. You don't owe this guy anything, just get out any way you can.
opalorchid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the encouragement :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good luck to you, seriously. I hope things get better real soon.
opalorchid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! I hope so too :)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:40:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...right?
deadaardvark ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 17:09:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tell him no sex until he starts being on time. My mom used to do that, then my arms healed.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:31:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Lausn ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:37:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It'll keep showing up so long as idiots keep upvoting it. We complain that reddit beats memes to the ground but the reality is people love unoriginal and familiar content, makes them feel like they are in on the joke.
NeedsNewPants ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:07:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Is a vicious cycle.
Horkpork ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:22:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I lol'd a bit. Well, chuckled really... on the inside.
EpsilonRider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't feel bad for acting that way if it's helping both you and him. If he takes too long being lazy and that impedes him or you, he needs to pick up his game and realize that he's being selfish. I'm not trying to say he's an awful guy in any sense, just that his laziness is affecting the way you communicate with him and possibly stressing you out. It's honestly not a big deal but if he's okay with you waking him up like that then really it's win win.
opalorchid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't feel bad, just annoyed that I have to act like a mother to a grown man because he was a spoiled piece of shit by his own mom, and then he complains when he thinks I'm acting too much like his mom. I wouldn't have to if he got his shit together and acted like an adult
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You need to do your best to not feel resentment or it will poison your relationship.
Both of you have your weaknesses. You shouldn't feel bad, but at some point you have to consider is it worth it to be mad over something he just does? Maybe you waking him up every morning is a compromise you have to make to have a happy relationship. If it bothers you so much you really need to consider that he might not ever change. Can you live with it? If you can, then you gotta learn to not be bothered by it.
opalorchid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:10:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If it was just the one thing I wouldn't be annoyed, especially if he wasn't a cunt about it. But it's not the only thing and he's controlling, demanding, spoiled, ungrateful, and abusive. Our relationship is ending. I can be resentful all I want.
itchy118 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just let him be late for stuff.
roflzzzzinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, he showers after taking a shit instead of wiping? What the fuck?
opalorchid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. What the fuck indeed. I wanted to surprise him and get him a bidet attachment thing that you hook up to the toilet. He found out and told me that was stupid and he wouldn't use it. Wut
roflzzzzinator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:41:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm honestly surprised this isn't getting any attention and that you just mentioned it like something normal. I've never heard of this in my life and that is extremely disgusting. Did he never take a shit aside from in his house? Or did he like straight up shower un friends showers after taking a dump?
Christ, people are fucking weird
opalorchid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've been with him several years so it's become normal to me. He has a number of weird eccentricities that I've learned to just accept, like he hates straws to the point that if I use one, it cannot point towards him in my cup. He avoids shitting anywhere but home, but if he absolutely has to at work or something he'll use toilet paper like a normal person. Apparently this isn't a new thing. His parents told me that they were on vacation when he was little and he refused to poop for 4-6 days despite having stomach problems.
yoLeaveMeAlone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure he isn't just showering for the sole purpose of cleaning his ass. Is it really that uncommon to shower every morning? I thought it was weird if you didn't....
opalorchid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He can shower, shit, then shower again. Trust me it really is for the sole purpose of washing his ass. He showers to actually bathe at night
gspot88 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:34:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you get shit on your hand are you just going to wipe it off with toilet paper and call it a day? Probably not. Why treat your asshole the same way. Just wiping like "normal" people. That's gross.
Sunjuan ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:12:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my dad rounds up to the next hour so he'd say it's nine. not even joking.
deadaardvark ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:14:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm suddenly less peeved by my parents shenanigans. At least they don't do that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my brother used to say "it's 8" at 8:59. when he was 3.
butts4351 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yo same tho actually
datnewgenius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
shiet bruh
drunkenviking ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:28:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not wrong. If they needed to leave at 8 then now they're late.
deadaardvark ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:51:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Usually they say it when we're supposed to leave at 9 and I need to get up by like 8:30
neonerz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:25 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even as someone who does it, I think we could all agree that if you need to leave by 9, getting up at 8:30 probably isn't the best idea.
Neverfire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:42:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's nine o'clock!
It's 8:30...
Dyesce_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, better than
Chibi Me"What's the time?"
Mom: "It's seven"
CM thinks ah, good, ten minutes earlier than I thought, I still got time to get ready
It was 7:07. Had to leave at 7:15.
FFFFUUUUUUU
audigex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They were right?
Undrwtrbsktwvr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine will start saying that at about 6:30!
thefezhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's almost 9:00, you need to get up!" "Mom, it's 8:45 and I have an alarm set for 9:00."
Trakasis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
last night my dad told me it was past nine o clock. it was 9:00.
PM_ME_UR_BELLYBUTON ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom just did this today! She woke me up with "PMMEURBELLYBUTON it's after noon, wake up!!" and i roll over, thinking it's 12:30 or 12:45.. It's 12:05
RagingAardvark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For my mom, 8:03 is "almost 9."
Roses88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My husband's car broke down one time so we had to stay at his parents house. His dad came banging on the door along if we were gonna sleep all day. It was 830a
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine were fond of "ITS NOON WHAT THE HELL", wake up and its 730, fuckin cunts.
cutdownthere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because they know if they said "Its pretty much 8" you would think its actually 7.45.
duchessofeire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is exactly what my dad did to me. He'd wait until 9:01 just so he could say "It's AFTER nine!"
I caught on quickly.
DontEatTheChapstick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's nearly 9 o'clock!" It's actually like 8:22
SpaceFace5000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's the same amount of syllables to just say the real time. I hate when people round.
lighning321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom has done this a few times with me but she constantly forgets that my clock runs 5 or so minutes fast so one morning when she said that and I looked and it said 8:01 I told her "No its not try again in 5 minutes" She was not amused, still got another 5 minutes of laying in bed so it was worth.
DeprestedDevelopment ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's just true. What's your problem?
AYDITH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom sometimes tells me that "it's almost 9!" In reality it's like 8:20
flamedarkfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They're not lying, and it's not hyperbole.
Average650 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean it is... What's the problem?
deadaardvark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:04:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The way the say it implies it's nearing 8:30 and I'm going to be late to whatever thing I need to be at. This applies to any time, not just 8.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not exaggeration.
Drewajv ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 17:29:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My family has noticed that my mom does this and now does it back to her.
Example: (Noon) C'mon, Mom, it's 1:30, we're gonna be late
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahah that is so funny, I have got to give that a go!
Rambo7112 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:39:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I live 7 minutes away from school. At 7:07 she yelling how we're going to be late to school and she repeats every minute. I can leave 7:30 fine. She seems to think I don't have a time telling device in my room. I sleep with a watch on just for this purpose
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:51:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Rambo7112 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:26:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do have a smart phone, its just my old one was a toaster so it was just quicker to look at my wrist.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:27:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah I meant more your mam forgetting you have access to watches :D
Rambo7112 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:31:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in my day we used sundials, in the snow, and uphill!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:45:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I choked on my tea when I saw this!
Rambo7112 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:06:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, look at Mr.takesteacupsforgranted, back in my day, we just cupped our hands and we liked it!
damnmillenialsAmericahasgonetothedamncommies[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's Ms Takesteacupsforgranted to you!
Rambo7112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kids these days being so damn over sensitive with their gender!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:08:53 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know, it's like we actually want to be respected or something :P
Rambo7112 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:27:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hah! Don't you know anyone that isn't a senor isn't allowed to get respect? Now go fetch grandpa's teeth hun.
omrsafetyo ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:11:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like people that set their clock ahead so that they rush thinking their late. Nope, you go "Oh, I'm not really late, I still have 15 minutes because I have my clock set wrong."
My car for some reason consistently sets itself 6 minutes off. I can change the time back to the correct time, and within a month it has drifted and it is 6 minutes or so off. Never more. It just gets there and stops drifting. I don't know why, but I've learned to live with it, and just calculate the time whenever I look at it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mam does this and you'd be surprised how quickly you forget it's been set wrong.
Evilbluecheeze ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:39:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did this for a while, the trick was to have multiple clocks, set all of them forward by varying amounts, and don't actually count how far you set any of them (like just close your eyes and hit the minute button a bunch of times, then don't look at the clock again for a while) I knew they were all set forward, but I'd make sure not to check my phone or computer or ever try and calculate how far forward any of them were, it worked decently well for all those times I would have been late if I had left a few minutes later, but not so much when you are 20+ minutes late.
drdeadringer ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:41:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The only reasonable thing to do regarding parents.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:49:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So what you're saying my rabbit didnt go play with the other bunnies in the fields near our house...
drdeadringer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:04:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FooFoo ded.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:07:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha although honestly any rabbits I had were all certified loons who enjoyed chasing cats. If they had actually gotten to the fields, they'd have been grand.
Foxes probably got em.
Slutallitits ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:59:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom exaggerates when it's only a few minutes off. Kind of like rounding off.
My dad, however, is usually always way off. "It's midnight!" "'Apรก, it's barely 11:15"
Rebelpride1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:33:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm visiting my parents from 10 hours away. My mom woke me up this morning for my wisdom tooth surgery and said we needed to leave in15 minutes. It took me 20 to shower and everything. She dropped me off in time and then left to do something. I waited for 40 minutes for her to come back and pay for my surgery and now my appointment has been rescheduled for next month, after school starts back up again. Can't do it at home because insurance doesn't cover anywhere within 2 hours. Just gotta miss 2 weeks of school or wait til the semester is over.
chalkwalk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:46:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up with a disability that made it difficult to understand things like hyperbole. After a while I just assumed that every word out of Mom's mouth was a blatant and intentional lie. I knew that it couldn't be the truth because of all of the factual inaccuracies.
PuffinGreen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad did this more. He was literally the '15 minutes early is on time' guy. I guess there are worse things he could have imparted on me.
murdermeformysins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:41:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did anyone elses parents have an absurd ability to know what time it was? My dad could guess the time +/- 2 minutes without checking his watch when i was a kid and i still cant figure out how he did it
BigAggie06 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:45:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can answer this as a dad of a 2 year old. It's because you little shits take absolutely FOREVER to get out of the damn door seriously it's like:
"Oh lunch is at noon and its 30 minutes away, that means I need to start corralling the tiny terrorist at 11:00 so that we can maybe be walking out the door at 11:15, but we'll have to wait because he has to give the dogs treats which takes another 5 minutes, then it takes him 5 minutes to walk to the car because God forbid you pick him up to carry him, that's just not acceptable, another 3 minutes to get him strapped in and then get yourself in and you have eaten away your 15 minute buffer"
And because all this happens the kids eventually adapt and realize they are being told to get ready earlier than absolutely necessary so they begin delaying and taking longer, so the parents have to extend the initial buffer as you get older.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I could understand it if I was a tiny terrorist (well I'm still pretty short) but I'm an adult, well capable of getting myself up and out in the mornings. Since I've been getting up for work, it's been a lot easier because I get up before she does.
BigAggie06 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:22:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But you were a tiny terrorist as one point and it's evolved to where now she just has an innate fear that you will be late or you will make her late. It's a conditioned response really.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll have to ask her :D You could be onto something.
GiggleButts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kids are fucking slow
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I really wasn't and she still does it now and I'm an adult.
woodperson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:55:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad would always wake me up on weekends around nine and say that it was after noon (when I usually wake up). Once I stopped believing him he mostly stopped doing it, but last week I had a dentist appointment at 2:45 and he told me I had to get up because it was 2 and I assumed he was lying so I slept for another half an hour before he came in and said we had to go because the appointment was in fifteen minutes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's the Dad who cried Noon
MisunderstoodPenguin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:46:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wake up at 11 Dad: "Well, good afternoon" Shut your hole, dad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is definitely something I have said.
coldjeanz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad is awful at this, when I would sleep in on weekends he would yell at me when I'm in bed and tell me it's almost noon, but when I would look at the clock it would be like 9:45.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:58:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why do children have to be so damned literal?
Me: Come on, kiddo, it's 8:15. 5 year old: No mommy, it's 8:17. Me, inwardly: ARRGH
DeliciousCrepes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:37:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 29. I say things like this because I feel like I'm running out of time. 8:20 feels like 9:00. August 24th feels like September. 29 feels like 70.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:11:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know whether to laugh or cry at this comment.
novelty_bone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:36 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my mom's watch was just 15 minutes fast. still is, and my dad knows it. Always was interesting when they both answered what time it was.
Salty_Sea07 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Time just changes after you have children! You have to add an extra 10-20 minutes to everything just to account for the things that come up when you're trying to get somewhere.
My mom does this and I hated it growing up, to me it seemed as though she never had an accurate grasp on what time it was. Now that I'm a mom I do the same thing and I realize how annoying it is but at the same time I know my kids are going to add an extra 10 minutes in just peeing and grabbing toys so that's where the shitty math happens.
Project2r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:20:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, there are a limited amount of times you can fire that bullet.
mellymel1713 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:23:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I sincerely feel I loss track of time easier now as a mom. I'm constantly doing something so in all honesty I feel like I'm running around like a chicken with its head cut off. So yes... 30 min might feel like 5 min. It doesn't on purpose.
account_1100011 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:15:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
so you're not late to every single thing like a savage.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tricks on her- I'm obsessed with being early so she never had to lie. Also she has the clock set really early and it always makes me panic.
SoraXes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:38:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right? I have to be at places atleast 30 minutes early and compensate way too much on travel time.
Backstop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone in my family both exaggerates times and is late all the time. He'll text and say "we'll be there by 6:00" and then 6:00 rolls around and he'll text "almost there, traffic" meanwhile his wife just texted saying "should we bring drinks, we've not left yet".
Dragonball161 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother is now ill and to get her to go to bed at a decent hour, I have reversed it in her. Also have sped up the clocks by a reasonable 2-5 minutes too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do that when I was baby sitting. That must be hard to do for your mother.
spacehurps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thoroughly off topic, and you probably get this a lot, but you have a nice username. :)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:07:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually don't but thank you :)
timeywimey207 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Time is literally different for them. Using years because it's easier, but For a ten year old a year is 1/10 of his life so his perception of a year would be a lot longer than someone whose year is 1/35 of their life. so if you carry this down then it also applies to minutes. 20 minutes to an adult feels like five minutes would to a kid. relatively.
ctrl-alt-acct ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
definitely this. when i was a kid and my mom said i had to wait 10 minutes for something, it felt like an hour. now i'm rushing around trying to get everyone ready, look at the clock - 11:30, i have 6 minutes to get out the door - pour juice into sippy cups and get shoes on, look back at the clock - IT'S 11:48, HOW THE FUCK IS IT 11:48 ALL I DID WAS POUR JUICE AND PUT SHOES ON
to make matters worse my husband doesn't understand this phenomenon so we'll have 10 minutes to get out the door, i'm trying to usher everyone to the car already because i know how long this shit takes... and he's like "okay just let me take a shower and eat breakfast." THAT IS LIKE AN HOUR'S WORTH OF WORK ARE YOU KIDDING ME
katrionatronica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
By this process my dad ended up making me late for school when he was trying to make me on time. He would shout a time and I would just assume it was earlier and stay in bed.
HookDragger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because if they don't... You'll always be running late
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually hella efficient. I wish my parents did this more. ๐
Matrillik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All of the men in my family are habitually late. The wives of the men have just started adding about a half hour to every time that the men claim they will be there.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because kids are late doing everything. It's an attempt to build a buffer into any deadline.
DarkFox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My parents still does that shit to me!
"It's almost 10!" Checks wristwatch: 9:10 -.-
PhilMatey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure my mother's over punctual nature directly caused me to hate waiting around for stuff hence I leave to go places as late as possible and as a result am usually late ><
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:05:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend Ciara is exactly like this!
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:50:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm capable of getting up and out of bed myself. Mam just liked to tell me the time.
Kelzer66 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because otherwise you turn into the person that everyone waits on for 17 minutes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Idk I tend to be very picky about being early. However a dear friends mother was alway early to everything, as a reaction almost, she is late to everything. Late to the point I will invite her to something, tell her it's x time and then I go to where we are meeting about an hour later.
Kelzer66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and in laws are always late. Always. I do the 45 min rule for my wife. With her family I've just stopped caring and start without them. You won't respect my time? I won't respect yours.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It definitely depends on the person.
FrozenSquirrel ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 15:55:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just curious, I've never seen it phrased that way. Where ya from?
BonaFidee ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:40:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Half eight meaning 8:30, half past the hour, is a very common way to express it in the UK.
__________10 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:45:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In swedish "halv รฅtta" (half eight) actually means 7:30, because it's half of the eighth hour
Mefaso ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:56:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In southern Germany we even use quarter eight (7:15) and three-quarters eight (7:45)
cmckone ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:21:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
typical brits doing everything backwards. That's why us Americans left
gostan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:02:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I could have maybe understood half 8 meaning 7:30 in Germany. But quarter 8 to mean 7:15 is just weird and I can't understand it
Mefaso ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:17:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It means quarter of the eighth hour, first hour starts at 00:00, so the eighth hour starts at 7:00, plus a quarter => 7:15
batterystapler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Quarter 8 meaning 7:15 is just a weird southern Germany thing. Proper Germans use quarter past 7 = 7:15 and quarter to 8 = 7:45.
swedishpenis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same with Swedish, we say quarter over 7 (7:15) and quarter to 8 (7:45) instead though.
Mefaso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Interestingly this is how northern German people do it as well.
Ivanator13 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 16:59:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't half of the eighth hour be the fourth hour though?
sir_mrej ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:20:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Half of eight hours vs half of the eighth hour
Ivanator13 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:46:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, that would be half way through the eight hour. Half of the eighth hour is still semantically the fourth hour.
sir_mrej ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:23:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Midnight to 1am is the first hour of the day. So 7am to 8am is the eighth hour of the day.
Ivanator13 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Correct. And thus, halfway through the eighth hour is 7:30. Half of the eighth hour, however, is the hour between 3am and 4am, which is how you initially phrased it. It's merely semantics.
sir_mrej ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:52:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If the eighth hour is 7 to 8, half of it is 30 mins. So 7:30. Half of 8 hours is 4. Half of the 8th hour is 30 mins. Half of any hour is 30 mins.
Ivanator13 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:07:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Half of any single hour is 30 minutes, true. And you're correct, half of the length of the hour that happens to fall eighth in the day (if one is to isolate it) is also 30 minutes. But half of the eighth hour in the context of the 12 (or 24) hour clock is the fourth hour. And as we were clearly discussing how one measures the time of day, with the eighth hour being an example, this applies. If we had been discussing that one particular hour out of context then you are correct, but we weren't.
sir_mrej ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Half of the eighth hour in context of the 12 hour clock is 7:30. That's what people say. No one ever says "oh I get up at half of 10am" to mean 5am. But they do say "half past eight" or "quarter to eight". The phrases always are math on the 60 minutes, not on the hours from midnight.
So in context, you're incorrect. Sorry
Ivanator13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:10:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're correct that no one says "I get up at half of 10am", but for a completely different reason: namely, they would be talking about 5am, and using a convoluted way of doing so.
And again, you're correct in saying people use "half past eight" and "quarter to eight", as well as "half eight", all of which make sense. However you're still wrong when you initially said "half of the eighth hour", which is neither a term of common parlance nor does it mean what you think it means. The phrases are only "maths on the sixty minutes" when using the qualification of "past" or "to", or when you say half the hour because the qualification is implied, not otherwise, I'm afraid.
But hey, at least you're decent enough to debate this with me and not result to childish insults like someone else here.
__________10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:50:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have troubles grasping the subtleties of everyday speech, don't you? Have you been screened for some sort of neuro-psychological disability?
Ivanator13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, that's right, resort to insults when you're wrong. People will take you seriously then.
Arsehole.
__________10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:05:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone else understood exactly what was meant, but you got bogged up in some "semantic" discussion of why it couldn't be.
Disregarding consensus for technicality is a "red flag" for being on the autism spectrum.
Ivanator13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone may have understood, myself included, yet we were discussing the technicalities as the discussion was about the cultural differences of denoting time keeping with regards to semantics.
No where did I state that I'm disregarding consensus, nor did I show any signs of autism (not that you could correctly diagnose it anyway). However your comments are a "red flag" for being an ignorant arsehole.
__________10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:24:07 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If we see every hour of the day as a separate entity of 60 minutes, not a sum of the earlier hours/minutes. Then the eigth hour would be the 60 minutes between 07:00 and 08:00. Half of the, separate, hour would be 07:30.
This is, in fact, the way time is told in my language (Swedish) and the fact that you are somehow trying to argue semantics of time-telling in a language you obviously don't speak with a native speaker of said language is at best an indicator of sloppy/poor reading skills or otherwise maybe a mental disability.
Ivanator13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That initial paragraph is correct. However I was arguing with the other more civilised gentleman (or lady) that one should not disregard the other hours and treat it as a separate entity, and rather include it as a cumulative count, thus making half of the eighth hour, the fourth hour.
Again with the insults? I thought we moved past that, but I underestimated your lack of civility. Never did I argue that the way you keep track of time in Sweden is wrong. First of all, I was questioning the way it is done there, as it is clearly different to how it is done in the UK, and i am not familiar with it. Then, I was qualifying how it is denoted in English spoken in the UK, before defending my point and disregarding the irrelevant information that was put forwards. The fact that you seriously believe someone you know nothing about may be on the autistic spectrum because they don't agree with you and are willing to discuss things decently, shows that you must be severly insecure.
__________10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:39:07 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
k
HauntedMinge ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 16:14:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably the UK. We say things like "its quarter past" for something like 08:15. Or its "twenty to" for 09:40 etc
Rockhardabs1104 ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 16:17:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The US has similar phrases but I also have never heard half eight. You might hear half past eight though.
Jaksuhn ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 17:29:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's kind of backwards from the way I would think. Half eight in swedish would be 7:30, not 8:30.
Comcast_Official ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:18:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I though half 8 was 4
atrain728 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:57:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought half ate was leftovers.
fourslaps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's the same in Catalan, two quaters of eight is 7:30 not 8:30.
DrFegelein ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:15:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's an abbreviation of half past.
Kaxxxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
US here and I've heard half eight before
ThompsonBoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But Americans say "ten of eight", which as a Canadian I find equally weird. It's ten to eight!
that_one-dude ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:16:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I speak German and they say "halb neun" which translates to half nine, meaning 30 minutes to nine but this looks like it means the opposite
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:22:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's similar in Dutch: "half negen" (literally "half nine") means 8.30.
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 16:20:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your two examples are logical. "Quarter past" means quarter of an hour past a time. "Twenty to" means twenty minutes until a time.
Half eight makes no sense. It could easily be half PAST eight, or half TO eight. The "half eight" phrase removes the indication that both "quarter past" and "twenty to" leave intact. (Also, it makes me think "half of eight = four" so i think 4:00, but i guess most people don't try to math it.)
Ivanator13 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:58:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's short for half past eight. While you are technically correct that it excludes the qualification of whether it is before or after the hour, if everyone knows what it refers to (as they do in the UK), then it's not a problem and it's faster to say/type.
Furthermore if you were referring to half eight in the negative sense, wouldn't that be four o'clock?
The_Shandy_Man ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:27:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just how it works in the UK, other languages do this as well e.g. Hungarian but in that case 'half eight' means 7:30 which was really irritating as a bilingual child.
GrammatonYHWH ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can you honestly say you've EVER in your life heard someone say half to eight or 30 minutes to 8 or any other variation of 30 minutes before some hour.
Kowzorz ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:48:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my mind, half eight is 7:30.
tunasteakz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'd be right in Germany
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:14:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think its the case in most Germanic languages. At least German, Dutch and Swedish (and probably the other Nordic languages)
Goheeca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:51:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Czech chimes in.
caffeinewarm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
German maybe? Or from the UK?
CorsairBro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In German they say "halb acht" (half eight) for 7:30, so if assume somewhere in Europe.
Mattisanidiot999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of other languages say it that way, like Afrikaans, I say that sometimes by mistake as well
ILL_Show_Myself_Out ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:04:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's 4:00?! Fuck that's early!
infinitezero8 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:41:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Get up, time for school"
"huh.. wha.. checks clock, it's 6:30?? School starts at 8:00!"
"Don't question me you need to shower and eat breakfast"
"I don't like having breakfast, not hungry"
"You will be.."
"Oh okay, I guess you know my stomach way better than I do.."
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:09:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:08:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guilty of always making my family leave the house earlier than needed. I was raised by a person who was always late, and I'm shy - so walking into class after it started and having everyone look at me was mortifying. I can't stand being late.
TonySoprano420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Considering that's the period when people actually need the most sleep, mom would have been told off on that one, it's worth any consequences in my opinion.
Illumadaeus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad is the only in the family who can't stand to be late. Id be getting ready for school and he'd shout that the school bus just passed. Look at my phone and i still have 10 minutes till it even would arrive early (i live up a small hill from the bus stop. It didn't even take a minute to walk to it.)
My favorite was some mornings he'd wake me up early and say "what are you doing? the bus already came by. You gotta go run to the next stop before it passes." Mind you my alarm hasn't even gone off. I can laugh about this now, but god damn did it piss me off at the time. And ill probably do it to my kids too.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:00:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's almost 9, if you want a shower get up now!
Actual time 7:35. And my mother wonders why years later my response to anything time related involving her is "if I'm late I'm late oh well." I'm yet to be late to anything.
Bartweiss ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:23:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To this day I'm sensitive to the "half eight" thing.
I used to drive my parents crazy by announcing the real time ("It's not eight-thirty, mom, it's eight twenty seven!"). But in my defense, they were quite happy to totally misrepresent the time if it was convenient, and I simply got in the habit of always correcting them.
zodberg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom has a bad habit of assuming I know roughly the hour, so she would phrase 9:50 (or 9:30, or 9:45) as "Ten to" which causes stress for me when I hear 10:2.
Bartweiss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:13:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That would drive me insane. I'm already frustrated by people going "quarter past three' when it's actually 3:22, and there are definitely times when I realize I'm off by a full hour or more. Thank god for phones and watches.
QuadrupleCactus ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:31:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A variant of this that my mum did- woke me up 10 minutes before I had to get up, told me it was 7.40 (I had to get up at 7.30), so after 3ish days of this, when she told me it was 7.40 I assumed I had 10 more minutes in bed. However, she had actually woken me up at 7.45, so I was late that day.
explodingcranium2442 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother said the second thing to me when I asked to wear eyeliner in high school.
NonaSuomi282 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tangentially related, but "it's just a fad, you'll grow out of it" when I wanted Pokemon Red for my gameboy. Twenty-plus years later and it's one of the single largest multimedia franchise empires in the world...
Also related to above, "I'm not buying that for you, you'll have to save up your allowance". Double-whammy because (1) we didn't get an allowance, the only money to be made was 25-50 cents at a time for weekend chores, and (2) once I finally did save up enough, they refused to let me buy it anyways.
Not gonna lie, those left me pretty bitter.
Tooch10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My father was guilty of this. I had an alarm for 07:15. He'd come in at 07:05/07:10. See, he was already up for an hour so that 5-10 minutes didn't mean anything. But it sure as hell does when you're sleeping. It took a lot of complaining but I got him to stop waking me up early.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That hair style was ridiculous, you know it, and you should thank your mother for saving you the humiliation.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents still do this to me: "It's 4:30 in the morning, are you coming home?" It's 2am...
ThunderCuuuunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not a lie. Grow up and support yourself, and you can do whatever the hell you want with your hair.
navarone21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife does this now.
Me: What time is it?
Wife: "it's 9 o'clock"
Me: (knows that can't be right) What time is it really?
Wife: "it's 9 o'clock"
Me: seriously, EXACTLY What time is it?
Wife: "it's 8:42..."
18 minutes is a helluva round up on time.
DoctorOctagonapus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum used that line on me when I was young. I wanted to grow my hair out because there was a guy at church who had his hair grown out and it looked cool.
"No you can't have long hair." "But N has long hair!" "He also has a beard. When you're old enough to have a beard you can have long hair as well.
Yes I did end up growing my hair out. It looked shit and I ended up getting it cut. Never gonna grow my hair out again.
kingjoedirt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you become a parent you enter the PTZ (Parental time zone). 8:07 your time means 8:30 PTZ because we have calculated in our head exactly how much time will occur between us telling you to wake up and you actually waking up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Anything 15 minutes past the hour is the next hour for my mom. Woke me up at 8:15? No its 9
DogByte64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We're leaving in 15 minutes"
5 minutes later "WE'RE LEAVING WHY AREN'T YOU READY YET??
_angesaurus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "It's almost 7:30!" Kid: "Nuh uh it's 7:25!"
Oh my god...
Klingonsmith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was clever. When I asked when I could buy a thing - that she didn't want me to buy - she gave me a specific age, so I had something to look forward to.
"Mom, when can I buy TMNT action figures?" (She HATED TMNT) "When you're 12"
I never asked again, and when I turned 12, I didn't even want to buy one.
CRISPR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That time never comes. My mother is 80. "Mom, can I shave my head, it's hoooooooot! please-please-please...". "No!"
Zentopian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The worst thing for me is being told I'm old enough for this and that, but then as soon as I make any decision for myself, and willingly live with whatever consequences come, like a real adult, she tries to control me.
A good example is, if I'm out of bed after 2am, she turns the internet off because I should be in bed, and have a regular routine.
I'm 21 and one of the things I pay for in this house is the internet...
I'm a very nocturnal person. No matter how hard I try, I can't sleep at night (I mean, I'm laying in bed on Reddit on my phone at 4am, because I just spent the last three hours laying still and not sleeping, because I'm not fucking tired), and I always end up being asleep until at least 4pm, no matter what time I went to bed the night before. The only way for me to get a normal routine is to stay awake for longer than 24 hours, and drop at 10pm when I'm dead tired. Then I slowly readjust to a nocturnal pattern again, waking up/going to sleep one hour later every day.
I have no reason to be up earlier than 4pm on any given day, so going to bed at 6am should not be an issue. I also don't interact very much with my mother if I am up at the same time as her, so it's not like she just wants to spend more time with me or some bullshit.
Vinyl_guy420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know English but that didn't make any sense
HubertTempleton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Half eight? Where I come from that means 7:30.
RedditIsDumb4You ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once told my mom it was 8 when it was 8. She took 30 min longer in the bathroom and beat me for lying to her saying it's 8 when it's 830.
henn64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's minutes to nine!"
"No, it's 8:15"
MetalRetsam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh man, that last one stings. In my case, one parent won't explain it to me, and the other does it for me when I ask how.
I don't want you to do this for me! I'll never learn anything this way!
Scientific_Methods ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in 3rd grade and wanted a mowhawk my mom's response was "it's your head".
migueltrabajador ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad still exaggerates time. I'm fucking 23 years old. Every job I've had, they'll tell you I've only rarely been late, and somehow, he thinks I have no idea how long it takes me to get ready.
Get up, it's eight thirty!
No, it's not.
Yes it is!
Then my alarm would have gone off by now.
You are coming to church!
Never said I wasn't.
Then get up!
When my alarm goes off.
Lunaisapuppy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom would consistently set every clock in our house 10-12 minutes fast. When I lived at home, I adjusted to this over time. It has really screwed me now that I live on my own with clocks that actually show the time because I usually end up being 10 minutes late to everything.
LordofSnails ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My stepdad did this to me constantly when I was a kid. Cue me scrambling to be ready on time and skipping a shower because we had to leave at 8:45 in order for everyone to get to school/work on time
Then cue him yelling at me for skipping a shower
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god my mom would do this ALL THE TIME. Even in high school when I could drive myself.
"YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE ITS ALREADY 7:45" Looks at phone 7:00
QuestionsEverythang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing you're British. The first time I heard time said like that a couple of years ago, I wasn't sure if that meant half till 8 (7:30) or half past 8 (8:30). Google did not help and I just guessed it meant half past.
Just_Look_Around_You ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't half eight actually 7:30 not 8:30?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 20 and I get the last one all the time, paired with "you're old enough now, I shouldn't have to ask you."
y'know, because apparently i'm telepathic.
blue-penn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bless my mother for keeping me from chopping all of my hair off like I wanted to when I was young. I would have never done the upkeep to make it look decent. She let me get bangs when I was 11/12 and even those were, in retrospect, a horrible mistake, but at least it was on a smaller scale. Sometimes mothers do know best.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once had a girlfriend who was a couple years younger than me. Kept unconsciously telling her "You'll understand when you're older". I am no longer with said girlfriend.
StrikeAnywherePanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always told me that when I was older I could have candy for breakfast.
Now that I'm older, it sounds like such a bad idea... but these M&Ms aren't gonna eat themselves...
sneezingcat18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought only my mom exaggerated time!
simmaculate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Takes me back...
captainant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or "oh it's close by"... is literally 10 miles away
cmckone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I will never say no to this because I won't have any problem laughing at my kids
Skilfingr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
half eight is actually 7:30 if you translate directly into German - sorry to tell you your mother was right all along. In a German way.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Half eight? People say that? It sounds so improper. "Half past eight" sounds less barbaric.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ohmygod I didn't know other moms did that! My mom is always nagging for my sisters to go to sleep "because it's almost 11!!!!!!"
mom it's like 10:05 calm down
cnash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought half eight meant 7:30. Like, half of the eighth hour of the day, or halfway to eight o'clock.
ChuckChuckB0Buck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Half 8 is 4, I'm going back to sleep!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad still does this to me now.
Usually when he's waking me up for uni.
"it's half past 7!" or "come on, I've let you have a lie in!"
9 times out of 10 I check my watch and it's 7:05 at the latest
Auto_Text ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So 4:00?
Endon55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We're right around the corner" even when we're still 3 hours away.
Rockapp2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I literally asked my mom if I can register to vote - her response was "Why the hell do I care, you'll be 18?" Yet I can't even take a shower when I want to without getting fussed at.
Andernerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, parents usually do let their kids do whatever once they're old enough that they've moved out.
NATESOR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
half eight?
Itsthelegendarydays_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to say "get up it's 7:30!" It was actually 7:10. A few minutes difference in the morning are crucial.
getdatgoat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do this with my husband. He has absolutely no concept of time and if I didn't lie, we would be perpetually late for everything.
redstern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not as bad as my parents. If it's 8:15 they will say it's 9:00
Baltej16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
is this suppose to happen? did my mom not get the memo?
RadSpaceWizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why are you waking me up at 4 in the morning!?
fyreskylord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad always just said "time to get up!"
Fuck you pops, it's 8:15 am in the middle of the summer on a Saturday and I don't have anything to do for like five hours!
LethalShot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a kid in highschool with a phone, this never worked on me. I'd wake up to the screams, look at the actual time, and immediately fall back asleep almost as a "fuck you, lying skank". I love my mom.
jarvitz2 ยท 944 points ยท Posted at 14:12:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have eyes in the back of my head
[deleted] ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 14:21:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 18:28:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
onemessageyo ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 18:52:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Little me wouldve gone to tbe bathroom mirror and lied immediately. Also imagine someone passes by who has a red dot on their head for religious reasons and your child starts calling them a liar.
Atanar ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:07:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of when my grandma told my sister that smoking turns your legs black. First black man she saw (we are rural europeans) she screamed on top of her lungs with finger-pointing: "Hey, look, he smoked too much!".
Dicecard ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:34:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well the black lungs part is not that far from truth.
onemessageyo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:02:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao what made me think about a religious dot was because my niece had seen laser dots on people in movies before they got shot, and so she started yelling one day in Walmart when a Hindu passed by with the dot (sorry don't know what it's actually called), "HES GONNA DIE HES GONNA DIE MOM MOM HES GONNA DIE" vigorously alternating between pointing at the man and her own forhead.
ILikeToDrinkGin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:54:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: "did you eat all the cookies?" Kid: wipes chocolate off face "no" Mom: "when you lie a red dot appears on your forehead" Kid: goes to sleep Mom: uses red sharpie
Kid: wakes up ready to lie yet again, sees red dot but does not question it... It is now bed time
Mom: uses red sharpie
Until eventually kid believes lying has turned him into a ginger
Talk about punishment
Happ4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me that when I lied my nostrils flared. After that she could see my trying to control my flaring nostrils!
meeeehhhhhhh ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:13:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to ask my mom all the time when I would get them in. My son will be two at the end of this month, and I'm still waiting.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:18:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll get them when you least expect them.
houseofleopold ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:41:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this hit two birds with one stone for my mom โ it was also her excuse on why I couldn't play with her hair. I might touch/see her back-of-the-head eyeballs.
really kinda freaked me out for a while.
Levitus01 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:02:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents told me that when you become a parent, you get a second pair of eyes inserted into the back of your head by fairies... But where did the fairies get the eyes?
They got them from naughty children, of course.
I grew up convinced that blind people were naughty children that just grew up...
๐๏ธ cant_even_such_wow ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 14:14:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That shit is just plain scary, makes me question my mom's interest in the occult. "Mommy who is coming over for dinner?" "Satan, son, it is Satan...."
twisted_2 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:58:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My elementary school principal, who was a scary old nun, would tell us the same thing when she would have to sub for my class. Everyone believed her when she would catch kids doing stuff behind her back, until one of my friends pointed out that she had glasses with little reflections on the side of the lenses.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL I had a scary old nun as principal in elem. school also. She never seemed to walk anywhere, she just kinda glided. The rumor was that she had the minions of Lucifer carry her around.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:06:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom has eyes in the back of her head too?!
tuna_sammich ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:17:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My six year old still believes this. He isn't very sneaky, though.
Barles-Charkley ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:48:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That being said, kids are usually not as sneaky as they think they're being. But when you take your eyes off them for a second, they're in the rafters.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:13:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! I'm close. I have extra wide peripheral vision, according to my optometrist.
eternalsunshine325 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:02:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An old friend of mine had her kids convinced that they had their house wired with cameras while they were at school one day. Told them that if they were misbehaving/fighting/lying, she would "reviewed the tapes" and if she saw that they had lied, they'd be in worse trouble than if they just confessed now. Worked like a fucking charm!
shaed9681 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:51:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can smell a lie like a fart in a car.
awoelt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Mommies just know everything." Bull crap mom! I know that you found out where my girlfriend works because you Facebook stalked her. Edit: you-her
brando444 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you need to see a doctor breh.
Tru-Queer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dumb-me would dig through her hair looking for her eyes. She'd just tell me, "They're closed, you can't see them."
hella_rad_boy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
highsocietymedia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to say this all the time, and around age 6 or 7 I started to call bullshit.
So she took a pair of stick-on googly eyes from a craft store and stuck them to the back of her head when I wasn't looking and told me, "You can check if you don't believe me."
I screamed for about 2 hours straight. She still claims it was worth it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or, if it's an Nmom (martyr type).... "I did the best I could"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom said this. Bullshit.
squidgun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's something my teachers would say
Anthro_Fascist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Call me back when I see those rearview mirrors"
IronOhki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have eyes in the back of my head, that's where my teeth are." - Friend of mine quoting 'Welcome to Nightvale."
"There's a Pokรฉmon for that." - Me.
masterofpowah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No that's true. She can hear you thinking about spoiling your dinner with junk food
thebijou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to check for eyes every time my mom looked in the opposite direction because of this
UnknownFiddler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well have you checked?
caffwintoyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My kids used to believe that one too. They would try to look through my hair. In reality, Mom's. Just. Know. ...and reflections from appliances help too.
Stickyjargon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is kinda true
Swamperton ยท 12847 points ยท Posted at 15:36:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If the R in "Toys'R'Us" is backwards, it means it's closed.
Savage.
paprikashi ยท 4102 points ยท Posted at 17:59:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"The music means he's out of ice cream"
WizardOfIF ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 18:43:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only grandpa knows how to get to Chuck E. Cheese.
IANALbutIAMAcat ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:49:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
deleted What is this?
awoelt ยท 140 points ยท Posted at 18:07:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Toys R Us is expensive. I understand if they don't want to take me there to get every Rescue Hero on the shelf. But ice cream is a staple. You can not deprive a child of that.
Metal-Marauder ยท 85 points ยท Posted at 19:05:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ice cream trucks are overpriced. Get it at a grocery store. Why pay a dollar for a Popsicle when you can get 10 for $5
dissolvedpancreas ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 19:59:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it's the ice cream truck experience you're paying for
Metal-Marauder ยท 99 points ยท Posted at 20:12:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, yes. The experience of having to run down the street after it as it drives into the sunset
Balsuks ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 20:42:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, that's the one.
europahasicenotmice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My big brother is a pretty serious runner. One time I heard the ice cream truck coming and ran inside to get my money, but the truck passed our house by the time I'd gotten back outside. My brother saw all that, and he chased that truck down for a good half mile to get me an ice cream sandwich :)
SWATyouTalkinAbout ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:43:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was the same way. Except I wasn't a runner, I was just a really fat 12 year old with a burning, loving passion of a thousand suns for a Batman Popsicle.
Those guys in the truck knew me by name.
QuestionablySuperFly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or in my brothers experience slamming into the back of it while riding full speed on his bike trying to catch it. We both got free ice cream that day though, so that was pretty nice.
chuckchewable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ice Cream Truck Driver here. Just wave. People never do this. We don't know you are trying to stop us unless you wave. (as opposed to being out for a jog, or walking to see the neighbors, etc.)
Metal-Marauder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ice cream truck customer here. Waving and screaming "WAIT!" didn't work for me, so it's probably gonna vary by driver.
Bombast- ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:16:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where else can you get a Captain America popsicle and a rim job at the same time?! Quality customer experience.
KingPapaDaddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
like Starbucks. Sure, you can make ten pots of coffee for the cost of one drink at starbucks, but it's all about the experience.
dissolvedpancreas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:57:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
for starbucks though i'd rather go to a local cafe than starbucks
KingPapaDaddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have my favorite bikini barista stand. It's like a strip show where they give you coffee at the end.
XXXTV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ice cream trucks weren't expensive when we were kids. Plus they sold ice cream you couldn't get in stores.
dinozach ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:33:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
When I lived in Germany, the ice cream man would make you a banana split sundae. Forget cartoon characters with gumball eyes, that was gourmet.
muenker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:22:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where did you live? I live in the south and never saw an ice cream truck anywhere
dinozach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:30:25 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I lived on an American military post in Rheinland-Pfalz. Here's a picture of the truck.
muenker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well thats different
Metal-Marauder ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:54:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can totally get all their ice cream In stores. Those spongebob ones and shit? Everywhere.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:33:36 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Metal-Marauder ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:06:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right because I totally care how fat I get when I eat ice cream. If I cared about that I just wouldn't eat ice cream.
Oshojabe ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 18:09:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And people wonder why the US has an obesity problem. /s
TheSemaj ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 18:16:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just make the kids run after the ice cream truck for a few blocks
TheFakerSlimShady ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:17:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Probably have to run a 3/4 of a mile just to burn the calories from an ice cream treat. Edit: 2 to 3 miles
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:30:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For 'fun', I just looked it up on an online calculator: probably more like two+ miles for a 100 lb kid (even more for someone smaller).
This is why people looking to lose weight should eat less, rather than trying to exercise more.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:36:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For all intents and purposes, loosing a lot of weight with excercize only is impossible.
Excercize is very healthy as it helps your heart and muscles, but the ammount of weight it burns is laughable.
TheFakerSlimShady ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:56:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well obviously. But the comment just said have the kids run a couple extra blocks
Equippedchart49 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:27:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Running a mile burns about 100 calories. That treat p'rolly has at least 250-300 of those bad boys in there.
cynoclast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The amount of calories burnt by running a mile varies wildly by size, shape, and gender. I burn about 200/mile as an average sized healthy male.
Equippedchart49 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really? According to a few studies I've seen (here's one here) the average adult male burns roughly 100-125 calories per mile, and the average adult female burns about 90-100.
Out of curiosity, how would one go about getting an accurate idea of how many calories they've burned while running? My body long ago decided I'm not allowed to run any more when both my knees got blown out and an ankle broken playing hockey, so I've never had the chance to figure this out for myself! lol
BC_Sally_Has_No_Arms ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:22:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If more people could run 3/4 of a mile without needing life support afterward the world would be a better place
TheSemaj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
what about for a regular popsicle?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
More like 3-4 miles, actually.
yoLeaveMeAlone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Plus 'running it off' doesn't completely negate the health effects of sugar-packed sweet treats
null_work ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:56:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If they burn off the calories, it sure does.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:26:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
null_work ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Actually, your blood sugar levels aren't a problem unless you have diabetes or you over consume too many calories and eventually develop it. So you eat some sugar, your blood sugar spikes, you have maxed liver glycogen, so it produces insulin which stores that as fat. It's a natural, necessary process. Guess what happens, though, if you don't over consume calories? That fat gets burned later in the day. Your notion that it's more than just calories doesn't pan out. The problems we have with sugar and obesity and the problems related have to do with over consumption. It is nothing inherent in the sugar itself.
smokeplants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"cause you never know" a message from concerned childrens advertisers
italianshark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or run after an ice cream based pokรฉmon.
TheSemaj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i'm pretty sure that's a thing
italianshark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is
Arcane_Bullet ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Make them run after the ice cream truck.
Macktologist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You only added the /s to avoid downvotes didn't you? You didn't mean that sarcastically. You really meant it. Admit it. The /s was a safety valve.
awoelt ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:19:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean? Because our children don't eat enough ice cream?
vinylpanx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ice cream man. This worked on my cousins I guess until they were 7 or so
secretlyacuttlefish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man I remember rescue heroes, I used them as ken dolls.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
pedos
kairisika ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If the ice cream truck came by, I was told I could get a popsicle out of the freezer.
I don't blame my parents - I wouldn't pay for an ice cream truck either.
CrazyKirby97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"The ice cream truck just buys from the grocery store and jacks up the price."
Not entirely true, but the grocery store DOES have cheaper ice cream. My parents were always straight-forward about things. "We don't have the money for ice cream right now, we'll buy you the cheaper kind later." I was fine with that.
littlered2 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:08:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Our second kid had no idea about the ice cream function and thought it was a dancing bus... A bus that came around intermittently to play music for her to dance to :) it worked from age 2- 3
ShyGuy1265 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:02:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My music teacher told me that his son doesn't know that the ice cream truck sells ice cream. The only reason why he gets excited about it is because other people do xD
scrumbud ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:38:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We did that too, told our oldest it was the music truck. It worked until he was 3, when a babysitter bought him ice cream from one.
littlered2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dayummmm! A near perfect crime
ToM_BoMbadi1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:11:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A coworker of mine believed it was the dancing truck that rewarded ice cream if you danced. He practiced dancing because he believed he wasn't good enough to get the ice cream. This lasted till he was 12.
littlered2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so glad the dancing bus is a thing, my kid just deduced the information herself and we just never corrected her!
Your co-worker though, that's a whole other level of parental lies... Is he a good dancer now though?
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:05:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
xoTaliet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:49:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I live in a neighborhood surrounded by like ten neighborhoods and for some reason I never saw an ice cream truck until I was like, 15.
Basically up until the age of 15 I thought ice cream trucks used to exist but were a relic of the past(because why buy ice cream from a truck when you have ice cream in your freezer ??) and those darn 40-something Hollywood children's show writers need to get with the program and stop writing episodes about things that don't exist anymore!!!
Also it wasn't until I was an adult before an ice cream truck appeared in my neighborhood..the first time I saw an ice cream truck it was parked outside of my high school. The principal didn't like how people kept crossing the busy street for some ice cream but the ice cream truck had every right to park on the side of a public road so my principal ended up giving him a spot in our parking lot....
ZappySnap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You could just say no.
KingPapaDaddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
57 and I enjoy me a good chocotaco!!
techjunkthrowly ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:56:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't that a joke in a TV show recently? Agents of Shield? Daredevil?
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:20:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The flash, that episode with Grodd. It's funny, like 2 hours ago I watched that episode for the first time, so that comment also reminded me of that :P
Scav3nger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:53 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
The Flash, Det West then tells the driver to turn the music off.
Edit: Hadn't seen that /u/magusviper had already replied.
hallipeno ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:08:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least they tried to be nice about it. My parents told me that ice cream truck drivers were child molesters who hadn't been caught yet and who poisoned their ice cream before selling it.
brettf123 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:26:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's... a terrible thing to tell a child... like jfc why make your kid be afraid of the world around them?
hallipeno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Super overprotective parents who had rough childhoods and wanted to prevent that from happening.
TheBloodWitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder how they explained it when other kids didn't get sick or die after their parents bought ice cream for them. "Oh he's only wanting to poison you." Isn't going to go over well with a kid.
hallipeno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, I wasn't friends with the kids in my neighborhood and my school was 30 minutes away. It was easy logic to explain to a 6 year old.
aykcak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:10:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Daaamn... No offense but your American moms were bunch of liars.
KB_112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Duuuuude!!! I totally remember this line being used on me! Lmao
Batrachus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant Lunarbaboon
othersomethings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My kids don't know about an ice cream truck. Our neighborhood just has a music truck.
Paranoid_Pancake2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My aunt did this for years successfully. Was almost murdered when I asked her what she was talking about in front of her 3 small kids.
Cogitotoro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Our version was "Oh, there's the music truck!" We had our daughter convinced when she was little that it was just a public service truck that drove around playing music to amuse people.
secretlyacuttlefish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shit she just told me he's the music man going around playing music for everybody.
Then the music man started handing out ice cream.
mikeb32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everybody loves Raymond reference! Love that part.
myheartisstillracing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The rule when my mother was a child (in the late 40's and early 50's, as one of 6 kids) was that if any of the kids so much as acknowledged the presence of the ice cream man, the answer would be no.
However, if no one asked, and if they had the money, grandma might surprise them by suggesting they go get ice cream.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"ICE CREAM! ICE CREAM! WE'RE ALL OUT OF ICE CREAM!".
efie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to put the wrong coin into those car ride things outside stores and be like aw it's broken
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, i told my daughter that the sound is the sleeping truck and that when she hears it she has to go to bed.
jcdcod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to tell me it was a "music truck." Took me years to figure out they was giving out ice cream too.
XXXTV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Too soon.
RenaKunisaki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, that's just the music truck. He drives around playing nice music to make people happy.
nedflandersuncle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For my kid, that's just the music truck. What is an ice cream truck?
ImGrimm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not heard this one before, I want to use it if I have kids though.
RemindMe! Never :'-(
Rei17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to tell me those were "music trucks" that just drove around playing music through the neighborhood. It took me an embarrassingly long amount of time to figure out they sold ice cream.
Mrlordcow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents convinced me for the longest time that the music came from fish-selling vans :/
SyslogPlease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents used to tell me the ice cream man was practicing for the summer until July when he was "actually open"
FaZaCon ยท 684 points ยท Posted at 17:55:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to get so excited by going to Toys'R'Us, that I would feel bad for my parents because they are grownups who no longer were allowed to play with toys. Ahhhhhh, to be prepubescent again.
CTeam19 ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 18:07:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As an Adult who likes Lego, I cried when my local Toys'R'Us closed.
CptnAwesom3 ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 18:15:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
May I introduce you to the wonderful world of online shopping?
vertigo1083 ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 18:32:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking A, man. Toys'R'Us?? LOL
How about Amazon with my goddamn debit card. No pestering someone for $20 to buy a damned Transformer at the store. I'll just order a freaking 30'' Optimus Prime to put on my desk, shipped to my door in less than 48 hours.
Wait for Christmas (are you shitting me, Ma?) for VIDEOGAME?? BAHAHA. Hell no. Click. Download. Paid for with my own money.
I don't give a shit what anyone says. Being an adult is 10x better than being a child. If people lose touch with whats fun when they were kids and can't apply any of that to adulthood, then that's unfortunate.
Master-Pete ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 18:41:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man. I've felt this way for years. Gotta enjoy the little things. Yeah I rented a bouncy house for 48 hours and i'm 24, so what?
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:15:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DdCno1 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:26:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably by googling "rent bouncy house (your state)" first.
"Sure, this is for my, ehm, kids. No, they aren't home right now."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Master-Pete ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:33:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I spend half the year in NC and half the year in NY in the tristate area. I actually have spots in both states I can refer you to haha.
fbholyclock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh darn not my region oh well thanks anyways ill just google it.
Master-Pete ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They typically cost like 10-50$ an hour, but I wouldn't pay more than 25$ an hour myself. If they try to charge more than that, its a ripoff.
fbholyclock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!
Siphon1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I should do this when I get my own house!
Master-Pete ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it's a lot of fun! Make a party out of it. They typically range from like 10-50$ an hour. I wouldn't pay more than 25$ an hour for it.
glisp42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've just decided to throw a birthday party this year for the first time ever (It helps that I have friends to invite now). You've just given me a wonderful idea.
Master-Pete ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh cool. Sounds like a lot of fun! An adult party with a bouncy house or 2 is really a blast. Also, you should pick up a couple slip n slides while you're at it, go all out.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:43:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
Siphon1 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:28:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You aint kidding. My dream as a kid was to be able to drive to the storm and buy pokemon cards because my mom very rarely let me. But when I could drive I realized that she'd see me bring it home so it wasnt until college that I got to buy cards. It was rare that I did though even still. But I wasnt limited to to just a pack or so. It's been almost a year now that I got to buy one of the big boxes that game with a bunch of full art cards and such as well as pikachu ex and like 4 packs. No way in hell my mom would have let me get that as a kid. The card I got from it is still my fav card haha.
But now Ive upgraded to just buying individual cards online instead of packs. Ive got about $100 worth of cards in my tcg cart Im gonna buy in sept rather than buy the new big box of 10 packs for a special set. Ill just spend $53 to get all the cards I want from that set with out any extras since there his a high chance I wouldnt get any of the must haves from that box.
Not only that, but I can buy the best action figures too, usually of my fav video game characters.
The biggest adult purchase Ive made though was an $80 collectible true to size Eevee (pokemon) plush for my then fiance after I realized how much she loved my 1:1 scale $42 pikachu.
My childhood dreams are coming true!
(disclaimer: I am responsible with my money and and do not widely buy the mentioned objects. Such decisions are calculated beforehand and then acted on accordingly)
Iesbian_ham ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:14:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I base most of my decisions on whether or not 7 year old me would think it's awesome. I'm very awesome.
IONASPHERE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a great way to live life
Iesbian_ham ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:19:24 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's satisfying, especially now that I'm in a financial position to indulge in all the stuff I wanted as a kid but could never afford. I'm still sensible about it, but now if I see a Hot Wheels I want, I get it.
JupiterHurricane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hey, that's how I do my makeup!
Sierra_Oscar_Lima ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hell yes, my work desk has 3 massive LEGO Technic sets on it.
PCKid11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have one of those "child debit cards" - Move Hendrik or something like that? ;) I have this already at the age of 14, as it's basically a prepaid Visa card.
Natanael_L ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had that at your age too, a bit over a decade ago :)
Sweden here, by the way. Our banks are a bit more reasonable
Teggert ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:28:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Careful though, before you know it you'll be rationalizing spending $1000 annually on Legos.
CptNonsense ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 18:40:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who only buys two lego sets a year?
zykezero ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:11:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This joke is lost on all the people who haven't looked at lego prices since like 2005.
CptNonsense ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:15:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, they've gone up?
DdCno1 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:29:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Adjusted for inflation, they actually went down. Everybody thinks they've gone up, since as kids we were rarely seeing the price sticker.
zykezero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, just as an adult going to buy legos now and actually having to pay for them.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:33:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only $1000 a year? With a budget that small it will be hard to rationalize...
glisp42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have to limit it to one or two a year otherwise I'd go broke.
zykezero ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:29:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
May I introduce you to the awful world of Lego prices?
CptnAwesom3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to un-introduce you to this
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:42:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HOLE-E-SHIT there expensive
DdCno1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lego is cheaper than ever before:
http://www.realityprose.com/what-happened-with-lego/
Siphon1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:40:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HOLE-E-SHIT they're expensive.
FTFY
Srsly though, dang thats crazy! I rarely ever got big lego sets because they would be $70-$100 I remember the occasional set that was a few hundred and it would be some massive set.
My favorite was the spider man legos back when the toby maguire spider man 1 and 2 movies were released. I never got to get the big sets based on the big final battle because they cost so much. The biggest one I ever got was a spider man 2 train wreck set with a train on the track.
My brother was much bigger into legos though and he would get those bigs sets. My mom would put them together, but he would always take them apart after a week or so. He told me recently that he did that because he knew if it was real that pieces would be getting damaged in a fight. But then when he was done, he didnt know how it went back together.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I live a half mile from a Lego store.
And now I feel a thousand Redditors of the Lego Empire casting shade upon me.
glisp42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do too. I stay the hell away unless I know exactly what I'm going to buy there.
lookin4som3thing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol. It is my saving grace. Clearance items for kids and Lego for me as never on clearance.
showyerbewbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You might enjoy this
OSUfan88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did the same with Blockbuster. If I got a 100% on my spell test, that's where we'd go.
DrScabhands ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Weโve been trying to reach you about your carโs extended warranty
CTeam19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but when the 'R' and the 'Toy' and the 'Us' is missing the story is closed for good and that is what I was talking about.
yoLeaveMeAlone ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:33:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grown ups have toys, they just come in glass bottles and lead to mistakes being made
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:49:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You need Legos, crayons and some LSD.
Solkre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It says 1-5yrs old. If you aren't in that range, it's a felony to play with it.
Pola_Xray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that's actually adorable.
NitroMuffin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They aren't allowed to play with toys with that attitude.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yo, I'm a grownup and I love Toys'R'Us! No one has a better LEGO selection but the actual LEGO store.
loljetfuel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We still have toys, we just all agree to pretend that they're things we need. I really need that boat. And that quadcopter. And that new video card... for... work and stuff.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My little boy is almost 1.5. I'm excited to get to play with toys again.
land8844 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still play with toys. Granted, I'm an adult now and the things don't resemble anything like what I had when I was younger (server, robotics, RC).
GraveyardGuide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FUCK YOU ALL I'M KEEPING MY LEGOS
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that I'll be playing with Legos all my life
Hegiman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 43 and still a toysRus kid.
thebarbershopwindow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you kidding me? I played all the time with toys when my kids were young enough to play with them.
I even managed to really piss off my daughter a few weeks ago by going to hang out with her in the park. My son was somewhere with his friends, so me and my wife bought beer and went to sit in the oh-so-predictable place where my daughter was.
The yells of "mum, dad, go home! you're embarrassing me!" was funny, especially after we cracked open the beer. Meanwhile, her friends came over and told us that they wished their parents were as cool as us.
Ah, trolling teenagers never gets old.
neonerz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's why we have kids. I think I have more fun playing with my son's toys than he does.
Hyp3rwolfies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tbh when I'm a father I'll still play with toys
StrawberryR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Legit, my friend just went to the Toys R' Us and bought hundreds of dollars worth of NERF guns. We might be adults, but we're still kids at heart.
KIDS WITH FREAKIN' INCOME!! TIME TO FUCK SOMEONE'S SHIT UP, NERF-STYLE.
UndeadBread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:56:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
99% of our family outings to Toys R Us are for my wife and me.
cardmanmoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:45 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a parent. I play with the toys in the store. Hell, I still played with the toys in the store before I had kids. Who cares if other adults are too "grown up" to get it? Have fun when you can, man, cause being a grown up sucks sometimes.
Carl_GordonJenkins ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:08:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What are you talking about. Adults can do whatever they want, they just don't want to play with shitty children's toys. There's a reason they have age ranges because for most kids/people, past the age it can't hold their attention.
whtsnk ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:22:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs a clever lie. Itโs a creative one, too.
But itโs certainly not โcommonโโlet alone the โmost common.โ
tekhnomancer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:22:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This...can't be common...
dausy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:48:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really creative
leavingNYCtoday ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:11:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Omg this is a good one I need to use this...
darez00 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:12:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck
XirallicBolts ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:02:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
C'mon
TheOneWhoSnipes ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:27:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not as much savage as much as ruin-your-childhood-hella-dick-move
hitlerosexual ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:53:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean there are other places to get toys. Idt depriving them of toysRus is at the level of ruining their childhood
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:56:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Gruntlock ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 18:19:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, that place is a commercialized caricature of childhood.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:21:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Inanimate-Sensation ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:51:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh look this comment again
null_work ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:59:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As opposed to "damn commercialization ruining everything!" right?
hitlerosexual ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:56 on August 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a monument to capitalism. If a store was that important to you then I kind of feel bad for you. I have been to Toys R Us. The one near my house has a rather shitty selection of Lego.
Omega357 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:32:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Meh. Been there twice as a kid. Nothing special. So big it's harder to find something I wanted.
HelloItIsDave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, my town didn't even have one
Smagzzie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:23:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Evil.
irish7070 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:26:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant! I'm adding it to my Mom Lie Roster! Thanks for the tip!
killallenemies ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:35:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Genius
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Genius
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And the ice cream man only plays music when he's out of ice cream.
messedfrombirth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man that's good.
ikilledtupac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ooooh that's going in the bank.
GreatScittMcFly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me that toys'r'us was only open at night. We lived an hour and a half outside the city so i didnt get to go into a store until i was 18...for a gift for my neice.
sohetellsme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought it was subtle Russian trolling.
omninode ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Genius.
LasigArpanet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, Toys"R"Us was like heaven when I was a kid. Granted I only got to go 3 times in my childhood but still, that place was legendary in my eyes. My big brother worked there and occasionally brought home toys for me, it was awesome.
DoctorSNAFU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just went to Toys'R'Us yesterday for the first time in years. My 33 year old self noticed how everything is small and made of the cheapest plastic imaginable. They should also rename the store "Star Wars 'N' Frozen; also some Lego."
illseeyouanon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told us they don't sell ice cream between Labor Day and Memorial Day (basically fall through spring) because it's too cold.
NerdWithoutACause ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard that one, that's hilarious.
Crunchisaurus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We were told you could only go to Toys R Us if you had a invitation (the flyer from the paper).
You couldn't go in without one. Imagine the chaos if every kid could go there on a whim? It would be madness, so this was the only system that worked.
Mom would get first pick at the paper and tell us if we had the invite. Now, I'm assuming she would pull them out if we weren't going and would hold onto the occasional one if we were.
We would proudly carry our flyer into the store and show it to the employees.
Sigh. Thanks, mom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Toys R Us was like heaven back when I was a kid. I was envious at all the other kids and my cousin who were allowed to to buy things from there.
Now I go back with my younger siblings and it bores me. Riding around the store on a random bike on display is still fun though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother told my brother that you're only allowed to attend the carnival in your hometown. He believed it until he was in high school. In her defense, he probably pestered her about going to the carnival every night for months.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL
I told my kids that Chucky Cheese only exists on TV. It's just a make believe place!
They figured it out when they are about 12 and 10.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it...
almightySapling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I will give you unique and hilarious, but common? I can't say I've ever heard anyone mention this.
popeyes-poppedeyes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
5 y.o. Me: spots toys r us Mommy can we go to Toys R Us?
Mom: Sure we can drive by it
Mom: drives into the parking lot one way, but then leaves through otherside of the parking lot
Me: Wait Mommy it's right there!!
Mom: What? We drove by it.
steerpike88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
genius
salsamora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit that's brutal hahahah
01001101101001011 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn... My dad would take me to chuck e cheese and then I'd get $100 to buy whatever I wanted at toys r us next door. I felt like a millionaire! You're parents were either broke or jerks.
LadyVic333 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm using this for my future children.
PatriotUkraine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No it means Toys Ya Us"
TheCheshireKattt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is genius!
LiverwurstOnToast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Calculated.
amoodymermaid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking brilliant. That would have saved me SO MUCH MONEY.
pterencephalon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents used to call toy stores "toy museums" so we wouldn't ask them to buy things.
ambyrjayde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me it was a toy museum.
eeladnohr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok I am going to use that one. Sorry.
iamerror87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn that's a good one. HAhahahaha. I'm glad we don't even know where a toys r us exist around us. Expensive ass store IMO in Canada anyway.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:40 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ะฏ, FUCK.
q1s2e3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OMG my parents told me the same thing! Did they go to the same parenting school?
Mr_Question ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm dying at 1:30 AM to this comment so damn hard
FireEagleSix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Toys'ะฏ'Us"
FTFY
bsnyc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We can't buy anything here sweetie. It's a toy museum.
mr_chillax46 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Genius
raincityboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Genius
Heart_beat_thong ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:22:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Toys'ะฏ'Us is always closed in Russia.
redditmortis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:08:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Genius
J_Bagels ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:08:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Genus
[deleted] ยท 2611 points ยท Posted at 12:57:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When my family used to go to the checkout after shopping there would be lollies and chocolate there that you had to see to exit the shop (unlike the stuff in the confectionary aisle). So my mum would tell me that the checkout was where they kept all the stuff that didn't taste nice. I didn't ask for lollies at the checkout very often.
aaeme ยท 1818 points ยท Posted at 13:02:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's like "ice cream vans only play tunes when they've run out of ice cream"
[deleted] ยท 436 points ยท Posted at 13:03:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum told me that one too
10takeWonder ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:36:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine liked the ice cream truck as much as we did and would come get us everytime she heard the music hah
Drudicta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Must be why you're a spoopy purple ghost.
DannyBlind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When i grew up we didnt have a lot of money but we managed and everytime id ask for an ice cream i got the following response: "No youre not getting ice cream you had one 20 minutes ago (or another reason) but do you really want ice cream?" Obviously i wanted some but if i said yes this was his response: "Ok thats no problem go get one" Me: "but you didnt give me any money" Him: "you got your allowence dont you?" Me: "but thats only 50 cents a week" Him: "better go to work then" Me: "but im underaged. im not allowed. Not fair!" (As kids would say) Him: "life is not always fair and you couldve saved up"
Definately learned a life lesson and the value of money.
Taokan ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 14:57:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, checkout line chocolate and ice cream van ice cream are some bottom of the barrel crap. So technically, she's not wrong.
funnyfarm299 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:40:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, because Reese's are soooooo terrible...
unlimiteddick ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:45:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you've ever had Trader Joe's chocolate peanut butter cups, you realize that Reese's actually does taste like a truck stop rimjob in comparison
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:56:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
sign me up
mtbt ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:33:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure how to tell you this, but that's not peanut butter.
ThatDrunkenScot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Heyo
funnyfarm299 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:02:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Too bad the closest TJ's is 2.5 hours away ๐
delorean225 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:07:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a Rhode Islander, I'm always amazed at how far away things are in other states. 2.5 hours would literally get me two whole states away.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:42:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On the other hand, as a Rhode Islander, "two whole states away" sounds a whole lot less impressive than I imagine it would to someone from Texas or something. Also, the closest Clark's Trading Post is still 2.5 hours away!
funnyfarm299 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:00:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Believe me, I know. I grew up in CT.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate to interrupt this... whatever it is... but...
As a guy in a grocery store the front candy is the candy that never ever gets rotated properly. It's also where any cashier or front-end who's lazy is going to stick the one odd one they found on the floor under the mat because it's closer than the scan-outs. You're already at the checkout and you're not going to pick that moment to get picky and complain about something you can just put back in the same spot.
I can't say much having never worked in an ice cream truck, but I did have an uncle who ran one for a few years and I don't know how you think they work but you shouldn't expect quality from a mobile fridge.
Also it's a well known, verified fact that American chocolate is made with more sugar to cover the lack of cocoa.
Sorry about /u/Taokan mildly insulting fond memories of your childhood or whatever is going on here, but ya'll are doing that thing you do again.
funnyfarm299 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I realize it's slutty under-regulated chocolate, but sometimes the best things in life are illegal.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can appreciate that, and hell I eat the same stuff. I disagree with the 16 or so people who've downvoted /u/Taokan as if he/she crossed some kind of line or something. It seems to me the hivemind has been acting very peculiar lately, like the tiniest bit of cloud in their sunshine is an act of aggression.
Taokan ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They either got way worse than when I was a kid, or my tastes improved as I discovered real chocolate.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:36:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bet you hate Miller Lite and Folgers and McDonald's too.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
McDonald's egg sandwiches are actually pretty good.
Taokan ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Correct on all accounts. I tend to reserve "hate" for something like ISIS, but I won't buy any of those.
madeingina ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn son, downvoted hard for not liking cheap brands. Strange reddit :/
Taokan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:26:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got 34 points for suggesting someone be cremated.
Reddit is a dark place.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure it's been said time and time again, but I've noticed another sharp decline in the LCD. I work in a grocery store, you were right the whole time, but they didn't like it cause you looked like a contrarian.
Aerowulf9 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:41:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL every mass produced candy bar is crap.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Aerowulf9 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:47:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have no idea what you mean. Do you actually think we call all chocolate "candy" instead because its not good enough to be chocolate? The term "candy bar" exists as a generic term because most of the time its not entirely or even mostly chocolate. Some dont have any at all.
I've heard Europeans say they cant stand Hershey plenty of times but Reeses and Kit-kat and Snickers and Twix too? I thought they even sell most of that to you guys, so how can it all be crap?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:33:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Aerowulf9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Such as?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:52:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Aerowulf9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess its just hard to accept that every single attempt from where I live is just inherently inferior, especially when we're talking about things that are hard to get in the opposite place. Have you actually tried a Milky way, or Butterfinger or some of the American specific ones that aren't as hugely famous? Almond joy, 3 Musketeers, 100 Grand, Take 5, Payday, Baby Ruth, ect?
The one you cant name is probably either Milk Duds or Whoppers, but I never thought of either of those as disgusting.
roses_and_rainbows ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:07:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can't speak for the other ones (I don't like peanuts or Twix), but KitKat tastes different here. European Kitkat is made by Nestle, while US Kitkat is made by Hershey.
RebelliousFB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually not true, certain mass-produced candy-bars do not have enough chocolate content to be considered a chocolate product
Aerowulf9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isnt that exactly what I said? The term exists so I can refer to some kind of sweet thing Im going to buy at a convience store. It probably has some amount of chocolate in it, but it may or may not actually be chocolate. The fact that the legality reflects that is just common sense.
RebelliousFB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So why do you have no idea what fortuna1 means? They said the same thing you and I are saying
Aerowulf9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How could you possibly think thats what they meant? The comment requires context. Its responding to mine which is about the candy being crap. He's saying its called candy because it tastes terrible, not because of actual facts like whats in it. Also its not clear if he just means candy bars or all chocolate in the US, and thinks we refer to any chocolate as "candy."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They're talking about this: http://www.businessinsider.com/why-british-and-american-chocolate-taste-different-2015-1
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chocolate:
Aerowulf9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dont understand how this is relevent, you're gonna have to spell it out for me here.
29100610478021 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:27:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No she didn't, liar.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:10:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
carpet111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just looked at the methhead driving it and never went to one
Aerowulf9 ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 15:00:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Woah there satan.
Daxx22 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:43:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that I'm taking notes.
kennyl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:46:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking of Satan, why does my ice cream always melt?
Aerowulf9 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:47:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, thats just the sun's fault. You cant blame satan for everything.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:12:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
_angesaurus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You guys only pay me $2 a week!"
Stacia_Asuna ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:21:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Troll kid: grabs parent's wallet NOW I DO!
LeftyLucy23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:29:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not the ice cream truck, that's the broccoli truck.
weeone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:08:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This one is fantastic. New to me.
CRISPR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:08:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant!
HelenKellersSpotify ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:26:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, I have a friend whose toddler knows that as the "music truck." He gets so excited to go out on the lawn and dance to the music. Little guy has no idea there's ice cream in there.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend with kids told them it was a music van that went around playing music. That worked for a few weeks until their friends told them what it was...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me the ice cream truck was a music truck when I was little. I missed years of ice cream that way.
V1per41 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I use this one.
bloknayrb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You mean music trucks? My son loves listening to those a they drive by!
MattTheProgrammer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ice cream van? you mean the music truck, right?!
LividWonk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus. My aunt convinced her son that those were "Music Trucks" and simply played irritating electric calliope bell tones for public enjoyment. It wasn't until he was seven years old and the neighbor's kid heard one coming that they were referenced as ice cream trucks. He grew up to be a real angry prick. Sometimes I wonder why.
Black_Apalachi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can hear an ice cream van outside right now while reading your comment.
JustDiscoveredSex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Told my kids it was "The music truck."
superdisk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How could you deprive them of that magical experience though?
JustDiscoveredSex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, I let them in on the Santa secret from birth! I've been all ABOUT depriving them of those "magical experiences." Our house had no Santa, no Easter Bunny, no Tooth Fairy. They knew the stories, but I never tried to get them to believe it.
I know, I'm weird. It was one of the few actual lies I told my kids. It was hypocritical.
superdisk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was a joke.
Kylearean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The garbage trucks in China play music similar to ice-cream trucks. Was super excited when I heard it, my friend looked at me like I was insane.
oh_hogcock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents told my oldest sister that the ice cream truck was the knife sharpening truck... I promise they're good people!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents told my it was the music truck. I didn't find out until I was 7.
gryphon_wing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom just told me it was the "Music Truck"... I never questioned it
catfishcatfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle just calls it the music truck.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
This comment has been overwritten.
Kate2point718 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If my parents didn't want to give me money for the ice cream truck they would just tell me I couldn't get ice cream, and I just accepted that.
I was a pretty docile kid, though; my parents had to change their parenting tactics a bit for my younger siblings.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought they sold vegetables?
Aanar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got away with telling my kids the icecream van was the "Music truck" for a few years.
Bethkulele ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh we didn't have ice cream trucks in our neighborhood. Only music trucks.
Lord_of_hosts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You mean naptime vans?
_refugee_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, my parents told us that the ice cream van was the fish truck. That both the fish truck and the ice cream van played the same music, and they knew (because they were wise, all knowing parents) by the sound that the one I was hearing that moment...oh, it was definitely the fish truck.
Splashcloud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told my brother when he was younger that the ice cream truck was actually a garbage truck.
ticvoria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was told that the ice cream man takes away the ice cream we have in the freezer, just like how the garbage man takes our garbage and the recycle man takes our recycling. My siblings and I ran away from ice cream trucks for years.
GVTV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am I the only one with parents who straight up just said no?
nedflandersuncle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"The music truck has ice cream? When did this happen?"
-My son, hopefully after he turns 18.
manjot97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of that episode on the flash
Daggerfall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Told my kids it was the fish truck. They're now six and only recently found out.
brave_new_username ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
YAAAASSS
[deleted] ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 15:27:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
kennyl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:45:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah kids, don't even TRY them. They totally taste bad and even two people, a Redditor and another Redditor's mom have confirmed. When you see that lollipop at the checkout, DON'T GET IT.
Digital_Rocket ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:25:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
(โ อสโ)
yapol ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:01:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum just told me the ice cream man stuck his hands up his bum
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:13:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Any time we'd pass those areas or a fast food shop or anything like that my mom would say, "Oh you don't like candy/McDonalds/ice cream. I know, you told me."
I would insist I did, but she'd keep saying I didn't. And by the time it ended we were already gone from the treat.
MorrisM ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:23:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And thus they invented the checkout aisle without sweets, just with boring adult stuff like soap and condoms.
ender89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:37:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're describing literally every American supermarket
treehugger541 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of stuff needs to be made up at the store. When I was little I asked if I could have one of those pre-made Easter baskets but mom said those were for bad kids that the Easter bunny doesn't visit lol
leave_it_blank ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:10:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's very clever!
Nazmazh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents would always go "ooh, yuck" or "gross!" or some such thing when McDonalds ads came on.
They weren't huge fans of McDonalds, but didn't really hate it or anything. The ads were just everywhere back in the day, and definitely slanted towards convincing kids that they "needed McDonalds right now!".
I eat at McDonalds once in a while now, but it still feels a little weird, tbh, even after I worked there in high school.
Pizza_Delivery_Dog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:11:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents said it was too expensive (which it is in my country). But the toooooyyyssss.....
lemminowen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was told that chocolate was filled with chili. Didn't eat any until I was 8
Hyperman360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That actually sounds like something I'd want to try.
Pizza_Delivery_Dog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
isn't that a common combination? never tried it myself
lemminowen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:39:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is, but my young self didn't like chili, and trusted my parents 100%
gehenom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to tell us that all the candy wasn't kosher.
But it was. Except Starburst.
jonny_cum_lightly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant. Wish I used this on my kids when they were little. Too late now. :-(
anxiousalpaca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
saving that for when/if i have a kid
your_moms_a_clone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom just outride bribed me. If I was good (ie, no whining) I could pick a candy. I would eat a bit, get tired of it, and she would get the rest. It was a very good system for both of us. I wasn't allowed to pick gum though, not after a few unfortunate gum-in-my-pocket-through-the-washing-machine incidents.
SparkleyRedOne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh that's a good one
chalkwalk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who's Mom used to tell her that the ice cream truck only plays music when they are out of treats and also that when people talk about "candy" they are referring to frozen peas and carrots.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOLLIES!!!
bless_ure_harte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lollies เฒ _เฒ
blue-penn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A friend's mom told her she was allergic to chocolate so she wouldn't get fat. She was also a pageant kid, and though the mom seems very nice, I think she was kind of living vicariously through her daughter bc she didn't have the same looks/talent.
cabarne4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You guys! I found the Brit!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Australian actually.
cabarne4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whaaaat?
With any luck, I'll move there eventually.
dougan25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Great anecdote and I also learned the word confectionery!
bexyrex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn that's brilliant.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom did something like this. I kept losing my allowance because I was dumb and 8 so she would put it into a bank account and I could take money out of it. I just stopped using it at all really cause I'd mow lawns or whatever for cash and after awhile of checking the account I realized she almost never put money into it. I didn't take any money out past 6th grade and I told her it was just gonna be a college account. College rolls around and there's 1100 dollars in the account. I did the math and I should've had at least 3500 but at least she didn't take all of it.
-del2phi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid, they had these giant quarter-operated gumball machines that dispensed plastic eggs with toys or candy in them. Now days those seem to have all been replaced with RedBox movie dispensers or coinstar machines.
Not really relevant, but this post reminded me of those.
Stonius1725 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, I used to tell my kids the checkout lollies were a trap: they're actually poison for unsuspecting kids (evil grin)
PoetChan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom pulled a version of this. She told me all the candy in those displays was fake and only letting you know what they had in the back. I never asked for candy until I was like 8 because someone spilled the beans.
cbop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like my parents solution. If I asked for one or two things ahead of time I could get them but if I asked for something when I was next to it (like a candy bar at the checkout line) I couldn't.
Painting_Agency ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:26:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my head, you look like Noddy ;)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:48:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, OP is probably Australian. For some weird reason they call all candy "lollies", even if they are nothing like lollipops.
Cite: I look like Noddy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Correct
Aurorabeamblast ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:54:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lollies?....okay, I'll play along.
Confectionary aisle?! Yep, you're British. Confirmed by use of "mum".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Australian actually. Everywhere that speaks English uses mum except America, so you're the weird ones.
Aurorabeamblast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also metric.
carnessa ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 18:18:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm uncomfortable you used the words "lolies" and "confectionary aisle" like why are your Reddit comments pretentious. Like an actually intelligent person would have realized how shitty both of those words are
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
What words would you have used instead? I am Australian and we use different words than you Americans. For example, we barely ever use the word 'candy' and use 'lolly' instead. 'Candy is only used when it's in the name of something (rock candy is an example).
Sgt_Sarcastic ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 16:59:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We dont really say lolli for lollipop/sucker in the states (as far as I know) so I just kept imagining a store selling underage anime girls. Boy, my pants feel tight all of a sudden...
CloudsTasteGeometric ยท 691 points ยท Posted at 15:39:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If a boy is picking on you, it just means that he likes you!"
GoldenMarauder ยท 1441 points ยท Posted at 18:08:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, my school must have been super gay.
goes off to cry
[deleted] ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 20:20:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh man you should have told them "Dont stop. That turns me on"
GoldenMarauder ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:43:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, missed opportunity that.
Youth is truly wasted on the young.
brettf123 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:59:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your parents just wanted a cute son in law so bad they made sure to send you to a gay school... lucky
GoldenMarauder ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:40:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! Jokes on them, I've still never had a boyfriend anyway....shit.
brettf123 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:00:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Want one? I have one, but am looking for another, you'd have to take us as a package deal though XD
GoldenMarauder ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:03:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no...two boyfriends? Well, it's a grandiose imposition, but I suppose I can deal with that if I have to. :P
IronOhki ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:11:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like an anime.
GoldenMarauder ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:20:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If only my life could be that cute.
IronOhki ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:05:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gold because my childhood was also that.
GoldenMarauder ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:38:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks...I mean...I'm sorry...I mean. Dammit, this is why I never had any friends.
noah21n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll be your friend :)
GoldenMarauder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:D
stingray20201 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Friends with benefits?
creditcardpie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:18:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The best of friends!!!
GoldenMarauder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, that sounds great! What kind of benefits do you offer? Do you have dental?
Drudicta ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:24:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So.... any boys bone you yet?
GoldenMarauder ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 21:41:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not until college unfortunately. I guess I was just too hot in high school because they were all still just picking on me.
Gnivil ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:29:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Relevent Key and Peele.
hurry_up_meow ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 19:36:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure how my parenting skills measure up but I prefer to tell my daughter (going into middle school) that it means he is an insecure asshole.
I guess it's marginally better parenting.
RugerDragon ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:18:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was taught to hit boys if they picked on me.
Of course I was the one who got in a lot of trouble in grade school. :/
mozzie1012 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 20:02:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i think i'd rather my girl child get in trouble for not taking that bullshit than the alternative.
RugerDragon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:16:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seconded.
We_Are_The_Waiting ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:38:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can kinda get behind that. If they dont stop after youve hit them, then theyre kinda dumb.
RugerDragon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:15:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just bummed I can't do it as an adult without some sort of legal repercussions.
Bloommagical ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or general safety. If you hit a guy who catcalls you, you will be hit in return.
RugerDragon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:23:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also true.
0x10B5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:44:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This seems like a great way to give your child license to think that they're entitled to hit people just because they're saying things they don't like.
We_Are_The_Waiting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some kids would probably act like that, but i know my parents told me if a bully tries to fight me or keeps messing with me, then i have their permission. not: if you disagree with them punch them.
touchedbyjesusinjail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
right! and if your child doesn't agree to hit the person, then hit your child! because violence is the answer right!?
We_Are_The_Waiting ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:33:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Violence is the answer to bullying.
touchedbyjesusinjail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it really isn't. how about teaching your kids to handle their problems like a mature person? oh? that requires actual parenting? sorry to bother you.
We_Are_The_Waiting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you want to have a discussion or debate, then we can. Dont be a snarky little shit.
touchedbyjesusinjail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
or what? you'll hit me?
We_Are_The_Waiting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok well its obvious you never even cared about showing me your point of view, you just wanted to be a prick.
touchedbyjesusinjail ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:13:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i said my point of view at the start - violence isn't the answer. you said that it is, and i think it's unfortunate that your children are being raised by someone with the mentality of a high school student.
Xperr7 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 21:26:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And if I hit a girl for picking on me I get sent to jail
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:33:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Assuming you're not a child, yeah...
Sunlit5 ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 18:34:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. This is damaging in so many ways for years to come.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:52:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never understood that one. When I was a kid the guys who liked me were super nice to me. They picked flowers for me and gave me home-made Valentine's cards and told me I was pretty. If a boy was mean to me I'd be mean right back, so nobody who actually wanted me to like them was stupid enough to bully me.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:34:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The boys who picked flowers only did it to show their disdain for you
StuckAtWork124 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:46:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, they're actually thinking that she doesn't have the skills to hunt flowers for herself, so are trying to teach her
I read it in a book so it's definitely true
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:41:24 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Excuse you, I was a BEAST at hunting flowers. I made so many daisy chain necklaces and I was a master at searching for pickle flowers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It all makes sense now.
mozzie1012 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:59:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this is the most sinister one
avenlanzer ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 18:30:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And this is why girls grow up to date only assholes and wonder why they can't find a nice guy.
Metal-Marauder ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 19:18:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
M'lady
avenlanzer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:41:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Never said I was a nice guy. Just pointing out that all the bitching women do about that specifically actually has a reason. Bad parenting.
Zetoo2 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:07:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It may be a minor factor, but I wouldn't consider it definitive.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:27:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it just sucks being a nice gentleman /s
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:13:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If he punches me in the face, he must want to fuck me
FlamingArmor ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:10:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a guy, she may be right for a large portion of guys.... but yeah, there are certainly a few dicks aswell...
Mofupi ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 17:23:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even if he does, is that the lesson you want to teach your daughter? 'It's okay if he's bullying you, because he likes you.'
Arkhaine_kupo ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 17:27:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Boys are emotionally inmature" probably.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:20:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting story, although I fail to see how this backs up the 'boys can't control themselves/emotionally immature' thing. Shit I did stuff like this all the time from 9 to 14, and I'm a girl. This sounds like a normal dumb things that most kids/adults do, not an example of why boys in particular are inherently dumb as kids when in reality all kids are kinda dumb.
Arkhaine_kupo ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:44:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ages 11-14? Im 21 and I camt open up unless Im talking to my gf. My best friend didn't get why I was the only one not crying at my moms funeral a month ago cause I have only told my ex how much I disliked my mom
Fatburger3 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:54:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You seem to be opening up here no problem
Giraffeics ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:23:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit is different. Nobody knows who you are. I can tell people here anything and it doesn't matter, because Giraffeics doesn't have a face, and more importantly, doesn't have my face.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:12:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Giraffeics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why are there actual people who feel like it's okay to kick someone?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Giraffeics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry to hear about that. I hope your transition goes well, and people decide to abide by the law.
kevinkit ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:17:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Internet anonymity.
Fowl_Eye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Anonmity that's why.
MagicalCMonster ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:13:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha a grade 3 classmate told me her crush, and for some unknown reason I blurted out "Sally likes Bobby" in the middle of class. She burst into tears and I was sent to the office. Plot twist: I'm now married to "Bobby"
somastars ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:23:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Poor Sally. You stole her man AND she has Betty and Don for parents.
At least she has Glenn to talk to.
henn64 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Accurate.
I was the calmest, most timid child and barely gave my parents any problems, but between about 10 and 12 I just did whatever. My parents also tell me I didn't go through my "terrible twos" 'till I was twelve, then suddenly mellowed out when I turned 13.
alittleperil ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 18:53:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The motivation matters not, the effect is still bad and in need of solution. People say this shit to kids in order to not have to put in the necessary effort to solve the problem, but it does not help the kid in question unless the desired outcome was to teach them both "people who like you can be jerks to you and that's normal" and "someone being a jerk to you is not something people will be willing to help you with"
mozzie1012 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:00:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that's exactly the problem, isn't it?
FlamingArmor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think it depends on the context, there is a line between picking on someone in a fun/harmless way versus berating them and borderline bullying.
I'm slightly introverted but not really that shy, but I find it's fun to tease girls as long as it is done in a way that's obvious and not mean in any way. (And yes, I can imagine many people trying to pull this off then spilling some offensive joke that is not funny at all). IMHO I find it helps break me through the small talk, because it generally leads them to rebutting my tease with something funny, leading to genuine conversation.
Tubaka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There must have been some raging Homos at my school
AwkwardNoah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:39:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But I'm a guy sooooo wow cool I guess I was hot for all the gay bullies then!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:23:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We used to snap girls bras straps and make fun of them in grade 7. I cant speak for the other boys, but I did it out of some fucked up projection of the hormone fueled feelings I didn't know how to properly express.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly hire someone to mock them and when they bringing it up say they like them
merveilleuse_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OMG this shit needs to stop. This is how we raise women to be abused. "he's just hitting me because he loves me so much.". Bullshit.
supershinythings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Such a lie, such a huge source of trauma. I was fucking TORTURED by kids in school. They HATED me.
scottnado ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly: "if she says no, she's just playing hard to get!"
Almostana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:25 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hate this one. It feeds the idea later that even "minor" abuse is actually a sign of affection.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Similar, "they bully you because their jealous." No. I got bullied for being weird as shit.
Siphon1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is basically how the courts see rape. Aww that guy just really liked that girl and they couldnt contain their drunken selves. The girl practically fainted with excitement.
arbitrageME ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:10:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's true, though.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:30:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They tell their sons "Girls like nice boys!" at the same time.
[deleted] ยท 129 points ยท Posted at 16:45:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to eat little and say that she is full, so that I can eat her part too!
Especially when she cooked my fav things
Batrachus ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:24:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is sad... in the other manner than the most of this thread.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:30:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yea! She is the best woman I have in my life. I mean, we all have little complaints and issues with our moms, but I feel, none of these count when you compare to the love our mom gives us!
MattBeFiya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:00 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
truth!
rollin340 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:26:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love my mom so much for doing this.
My dad too.
Even now, when we're all adults, and they know that I, and everyone else knows, they still say they don't want something, and gives it to me.
But they refuse to have it any other way.
I love them for it. But I kind of wish they'd pamper themselves more.
RushSt182 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:32:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Better than the other way around! My parents sort of act like kids in the regard that they'd rather have something than let someone else have it.
how_can_you_live ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:28:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't know why someone downvoted, parents are people and people can be shitty :/
Stole_my_Sweater ยท 674 points ยท Posted at 14:47:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm holding onto your money for you in case of emergencies"
All that Chinese New Year cash was never mine to begin with.
blackonyxring ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 22:19:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, it's extremely shitty for a parent to do this to their child. I didn't realize how common it was, and it's kind of making me mad.
Sawses ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:56:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. My parents never did that. In fact, I'd probably just be like, "Yeah, you guys aren't worth knowing." if they were the sort who did. Frankly, I'd lose any respect for anyone who thought it was okay to steal from their child.
KingofSheepX ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 21:06:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll give it to you when you get older" was what mines said or "When you become a doctor". It took me till I was 14 to realize I wouldn't need the money if I actually became one.
RegretDesi ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:28:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Asian?
RadSpaceWizard ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:53:24 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, let's get pizza instead.
HerpaDerpaShmerpadin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:43:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Student loans.
thebarbershopwindow ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 21:42:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My kids have a pretty decent fat bank account each as I've saved all their money for them over the last 15-17 years.
The problem is that a) they don't know about these accounts and b) I have no idea how to give it to them. Right now, our plan is to give it to them for their first deposit on a house/apartment.
MrStroopwafel ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 22:41:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you are going to give it to them, teach them how to use it. Receiving a big amount in a short amount of time can be overwhelming and they might not use it responsible.
leanik ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 23:34:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well especially if they don't have smaller amount of money to learn from growing up...
Tstrace87 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:34:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah... I went from I couldn't get a job because my mom wouldn't sign the slip, to making 1200 every 2 weeks after tax. Lots of money has been wasted
Kbost92 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:51:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I got a lump sum when I turned 18. Moved straight out and put it all towards rent, cocaine, liquor and pills. Oh and going to the club, buying guns and a few dirt bikes. Don't give your kids a bunch of money. I like the idea of first payment/security deposit/down payment on a house type of thing. That way it's harder for them to fuck it up.
Sawses ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:57:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I've always saved like a Jew. I just don't spend much money, because I'm intensely aware of how limited the supply is. If I got a large sum of money, I'd probably go right on as I do right now...though maybe with a slightly nicer used car that won't get me killed when it snows.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:36:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jew here. I can't tell if you're anti-Semitic or not. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and offer you this apropos link:
http://rlv.zcache.com/jesus_saves_but_jews_invest_wisely_postcard-r6da00a3df4d54c499a8165bc5746eec4_vgbaq_8byvr_512.jpg
Sawses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Take your upvote, that's fantastic.
And no, lol. I'm not. If anything, I think it's a fairly complimentary stereotype, considering how awful most people are with money.
bowmaster17 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:54:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...Fuck savings, I want all that...
Kbost92 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:23:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I mean it was only the greatest two years of my life. But once that runs out shit gets rough.
awesomedude4100 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:03:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
college? car?
HDpotato ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:21:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stay in charge of the account yourself, but let them ask you to use it for big purchases for them. Like a car, furniture, stuff like that.
VK2DDS ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:44:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If it makes you feel any better (depending on what stage of life you're at) the CNY$50k my in-laws collected at our wedding wasn't our's to begin with either.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:57:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What does CNY$50k mean? What is it and why did your in-laws collect it?
VK2DDS ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:13:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I denoted Chinese Yuan as CNY because I didn't bother finding the unicode symbol for it. It was about AUD$10k which is about USD$7k.
I'm not 100% with the culture (I'm Australian, wife is Chinese national with permanent residency in Australia) but my basic understanding of it is that at big events like weddings the host records how much each guest gives and plans to repay it when the guest has their own big event. There were about 200 adult guests so individuals were only giving the equivalent of ~$50 Australian.
locdogjr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:21:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If they paid for the wedding, this is common.
Gunmetal_61 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:18:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing he's talking about Chinese Yen.
As for his in-laws, sounds like they were taking advantage of their status as in-laws and acted as the OP and spouse's "representative", then ran off with the cash.
alykatxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:38:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure what is OP's situation but the parents of the wedding couple usually take the money (or the kids will pass it to them) because they usually paid for a large part of the wedding or gave them huge wedding gifts. Then again a lot of people have their own way of doing things these days and it ranges from parents paying for the entire wedding and thus taking the money, to kids paying for everything and "recouping" the cost spent from the money, to even parents paying nothing but still taking the money (though I'd like to think this happens much less).
dantemirror ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:49:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Name checks out, even the sweaters got nicked. And no one even wants the sweaters.
InTheRedditVoid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What about your sweater?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't wait to have kids so I can bank all their sweet red envelope CNY money...
AFakeman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do Americans celebrate Chinese New Year?
thatguyinthemirror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:45:35 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel your pain. But i submitted a full on written report of "planned expenditure" with a projected 75% in savings post repayment for reciprocal red packets.
They let me keep a hundred bucks
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 21:13:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
twitchy_taco ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:56:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, Irish.
[deleted] ยท 460 points ยท Posted at 15:40:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Itยดs cold outside, take a sweater"
-Every mom in the desert at mid summer
TheMellowestyellow ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 20:12:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If mom is cold, everybody must be cold.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:54:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HOLY FUCK SAME!
neverbuythesun ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 22:02:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't ever say I'm cold because my mum will remind me of that time six years ago when she told me to take a coat.
woodchips24 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:58:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Based on my experiences in Tucson, a lot of you took that to heart
Ubername_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:07:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha
jasmine_tea_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol!
Rayquaza2233 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:34:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This just led me to keep a sweater and umbrella at all times in my backpack when I was in university and in my car now.
Inanna26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In your backpack is excessive. In your car is just good planning.
bloodfall90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Live in humid south Florida, can confirm.
Naturage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine at least acknowledges it, our usual conversation is more of running gag at this point. "Son, put on the sweater, I'm cold"
Ignite20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have to give her some credit for that. Midnight desert is really cold.
reallifeace ยท 243 points ยท Posted at 14:05:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
all the ice cream stores close at 3:30
GhostFish ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:37:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Ice cream trucks play the music to let people know that they're all out of ice cream."
Bahunter22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:19:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I told my four year old this. My husband thinks I'm a monster and it is kind of sad that she hears it and gets excited until she remembers that the music means they're out. I told her I'd let her know when they changed to mean they bought more ice cream. Then I turned around and told my husband "you better not fuck me over on this."
IONASPHERE ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:26:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a similar turn around. I was always told that the music meant they had ran out, but when the ice cream van stops, so does the music. That meant that the ice-cream man had made some more
Iheartbaconz ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:09:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Insert ANY store with my kid. Especially when we make dinner and he wants McDonalds.
"Sorry, McDonalds is closed on insert day of the week"
BestWestEnder ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:48:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Only kids with a photo ID membership card can get into the Playplace, otherwise they kick you out and you can never go to McDonalds again!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Get them to say that on every day then bring up the fact they said it on each day
CRISPR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"What are they eating, mom?" "It's potatoes, honey, it's potatoes"
EDIT. true story from 70s, happened to my cousin who is dead now, "mom" = "his dad" (dead as well). Good times.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:55:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There was actually one in my town that did.
They did not last very long
PeanutButter707 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:27:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on the town you live in, this might not be a lie
SomethingcleverGP ยท 1379 points ยท Posted at 13:40:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That they want you to grow up and get married. Don't get me wrong they can still be happy/supportive, but I've found they aren't always 100% on board with their little boy not needing/wanting them anymore.
[deleted] ยท 1123 points ยท Posted at 16:17:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
LifeOfTheUnparty ยท 620 points ยท Posted at 17:15:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when my English teacher shared the news of her daughter in law being pregnant-
"Oh I just can't wait, I love grandkids! You can take them for a weekend, spoil them to death and give them back to the parents to handle the damage control!"
[deleted] ยท 95 points ยท Posted at 18:10:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As someone with a MIL like this, this makes my eye twitch.
[deleted] ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 18:51:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 19:22:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:33:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:42:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm eating your words. They're delicious.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You gotta eat to live, not live to eat.
Lord_Rapunzel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:51:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What do you get when you shovel down sweets?
theniceguytroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eating as much as an elephant eats.
Playdoh_BDF ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:51:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You want your belt to buckle, not the chair.
level3ninja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:36:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/JUSTNOMIL is this way
Skywarp79 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:26:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would imagine I'd be this way. If you did a good job the first time around, sure, have a victory lap once in a while.
level3ninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/JUSTNOMIL is this way
stalactose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:14:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah pretty common sentiment.
DMercenary ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:49:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sugar them up and then hand them back to the parents to deal with the fallout.
mercedenesgift ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:59:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I raise my kids with a lot generally healthy, usually homemade food. When my kid found out "that sweet drink" grandpa gave her was soda, she cried.
muenker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:29:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats just exactly what i will do, if i get a wife and children..
Thespoderweeb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom has said multiple times if me or my sister ever have children she is going to spoil them to death.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
JediNinja92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I may need to steal this idea.
nopooq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's terrible.
Jdm5544 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:02:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once told my mother
"No one wants to be a parent, they want to be a grandparent, kids are just paying your dues and that is why parents pester their kids to have there own."
My mom starts saying that isn't true I love my children etc etc.
And my grandmother (my mom's mom) is just sitting in the corner nodding empathicly. Funniest thing I ever saw
Siphon1 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:02:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh so this. My mom is often dropping little hints about "when we have kids" even though my wife and I told her before we were married that we didnt want kids. We both want our lives to be like dating forever haha. We live together see each other when we can (I have an iffy work schedule so that keeps things mixed up). and we can buy the things we want and go where we want with out worrying about the extra 20k-30k we'd be spending on a kid each year.
Plus for me, I have seen kids ruin what would have been nice moments. I remember certain things like Christmas morning and such when things would be going well but me, my bro or sister might doing something and my mom would get mad and I felt like we had ruined the moment. Then there's the little annoyances. Like cant go out alone, cant have sex b/c kids are around, things get broken or ruined (this happened with me a lot because I should have known "x" was supposed to be done this way but no one ever told me) and then just noise and whining and not being able to rest.
I have heard so many people complain about their kids and say how they go to work to catch a break. I dont want any part in being responsible for a child.
I dont hate kids by any means. I didnt even realize I was on a rant. I just know my mom wants grand kids and she will be dissapointed as time goes on. Ill leave that to my other 2 siblings haha
NANIowan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:40:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My son is definitely my mother's "do over".
Sexual_tomato ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:52:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Been married almost 6 years and I think my in laws are still upset that their little boy doesn't live with them anymore. Then, when I had my first, she was mad I never let her babysit. I didn't go anywhere the first year, I wasn't "keeping him from her". I was doing my job as a mother. We lived 10 minutes away, she could have come over. I just don't understand it and hope to keep that in mind when my kids move out.
notenoughbooks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:03:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god. The complaining about "babysitting." My ILs are batshit about wanting to keep our kid for an overnight. Still hasn't happened. Probably won't for a long time, if ever. I'm basically making a list of annoying shit MIL and FIL do to make sure I don't do the same to my son when he grows up, moves out, and starts a family.
vampyrita ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:01:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And GOD FORBID you even IMPLY that you don't want trophies. If your mother is like mine, you'll get not-so-subtle facebook posts about how you're a horrible person if you don't give your parents grandkids.
notenoughbooks ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:12:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is great. Wants us to have as many kids as we feel like when we feel ready. MIL wants lots and to be "second" mom. FIL. Oh god FIL. He wants me to have as many as I physically can as fast as I can.
vampyrita ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:19:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly thought when we got married that our parents were both pretty chill about the whole no-kids thing. Then, after our first anniversary, came the 'no better feeling than holding your baby's baby' Facebook posts from my side and the awkward 'well you're still young and there's still time' from mu husband's.
This is going to be a long couple decades.
KestrelLowing ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:24:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom and dad are pretty awesome. I feel a bit sorry for them because they've got 4 kids, I'm the youngest by a fair margin at 26, and no grandkids, and no expectation for them by anyone any time soon. (And my dad LOVES babies) That being said, I think my mom fully understands why I might not want to have kids - she did have to sacrifice a lot.
My MIL, on the other hand.... she already has two grandkids (one from each of his brothers) and we're pretty certain that both of my husband's brothers will be having another kid at a certain point.
And she's all up in arms that we need to have a kid too so that they'll all be the same age! Dude. We live in Michigan, one brother lives in Texas, and the other brother lives in Florida. They'll never really know each other, even if they were the same age!
Blech. They're even going to be buying a pack-n-play or something similar for us because my niece is coming up to go to a wedding in Michigan and they don't want to fly with one and then "you can keep it for later on".
Dude. I'm still in school, and it's likely I'm infertile, and at this point I'm thinking that kids are looking less and less appetizing. But of course, we're coming up on our 2nd wedding anniversary so we must be getting ready to have a kid, right?
ReADropOfGoldenSun ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:18:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do over kids? You mean my younger siblings?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:06:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Iownamovingcastle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:34:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, My mom is the same way with me. I honestly think she would have been thrilled if I had an accident and some rando got me pregnant. She wants me to have babies NOW and does not care who impregnates me. Thankfully, current boyfriend is an awesome guy and it wouldn't be terrible if it did happen, but she was even like this when I was single.
brettf123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents have gladly accepted that they will never have grandkids
dizzi800 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My step dad got do-over kids (His sons had both grown up and moved out and working pretty solid career's and then married my mom - with three kids, oldest was like.... 12)
And now he gets grandkids too.
Also my parents are fucking badass
PM_me_ur_Dinosaur ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:23:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My ex's dad had 2 more kids in his late 40s. He's about to retire with a 9 year old and 13 year old. I wouldn't recommend it.
lizbunbun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm currently pregnant at 35 weeks and am already dreaming of grandkids. Serious.
DalkonShield ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lolz. As a parent of three, I'm stealing this phrase for the future.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You mean my younger brother?
getdatgoat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god. Both sets of grandparents are this way. It's insane. When I'm a grandmother in hopefully a few years yet (no rush!...my oldest is 20), I really hope I don't do the things my parents and in-laws do. I'm sure I will though.
sweet_merciful_crap ยท 161 points ยท Posted at 14:54:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, am daughter-in-law.
kissedbyfire9 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:53:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh god me too. They say they wanted him to become independent, but they didn't teach him even the basics of chopping vegetables/cooking pasta/doing laundry or anything like that and encouraged him to bring his laundry back on visits home from college so his mom could do it for him. It's such an uphill battle.
MicroLovesMacro ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:03:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you married to my husband, too? All laundry goes in together, so he has no white shirts anymore - they are all some dirty gray shade. He folds shirts in weird-ass triangles that drive me insane. He thinks a grilled cheese is two slices of white bread and a slice cheese thrown in the microwave for 45 seconds. He also had no idea what to do with the whole peaches or other whole fruit I put in his lunch. He had only eaten canned peaches and sliced fruit.
His mother is a damned know-it-all. /eyeroll
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:12:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The first time I saw my husband throw white shirts, a nice dress shirt, and his dirty ass work uniform into the same load on the highest hot water setting, I straight up asked him what the fuck he thought he was doing.
wubalubadubscrub ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:46:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So let me preface this by saying my mother wouldn't let me leave for college before teaching me how to sort laundry, what temp to wash which colors in, etc., so I know the correct way of doing things.
That being said, I still wash everything together in hot water (unless it's like brand new clothing that hasn't been washed yet/more likely to run). I live by myself and only do maybe 1 load of laundry a week, so it doesn't make sense for me to wait until I have enough laundry to seperate colors out into different full loads to wash. I haven't really ever had any issues with colors running or anything, is there something else I'm maybe messing up by doing this?
Moarkittens ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:06:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hot water will fade your clothes faster than using cold. Also, mixing heavy items like jeans with thinner work/dress clothes can put wear your dress clothes from the friction. You pretty much can wash everything in cold.
Goluxas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:15:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a simple man. I fill a laundry basket, I put it in the machine on "Permanent Press", I collect it an hour later.
jeepersvespers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you're mixing loads at least default to cold water. Your clothes will last longer.
coffeeordeath85 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:26:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going through this with my boyfriend! He's 36! He never separated his colors, darks and blacks, everything was on the highest settings. One time he grabbed my lacy panties and threw them in the regular dirty clothes... let's just say he never did that again.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:54:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
coffeeordeath85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, we have a pact, he sorts and puts them in the washer and I do the dishes. He hates dishes more than anything and will let them build up if he can. He's so much better with my dedicates now. So happy!
frylock350 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Solution: don't purchase white shirts. I'm an "everything goes in one load" laundry kind of guy. Less loads I need to do the better. My mom still gives me grief about it to this day. I despise laundry.
I, however, am an excellent cook/baker. Turns out the quickest way to a woman's heart is also through the stomach.
msmith1994 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...how can you mess up cooking pasta?
kissedbyfire9 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh he just didn't know what to do lol
Baphomet_Abaddon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:01:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like this: http://m.imgur.com/0DzPVJ1?r
jhulbe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know a guy who thought you cooked rice like pasta. Boil it for a bit and drain it.
maymay987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually that is one way to cook rice. ..although its not common. I usually make it that way if I am . making biryani ( an Indian rice dish) or if im not sure how the rice will turn out by making it the regular way.. .texture wise as my husband is very picky with his rice.
msmith1994 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's impressive.
sweet_merciful_crap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't even get me started on that!
okbunno ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:43:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/JustNoMIL?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:17:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love that sub. I read it all the time when I feel my life isn't going the way I like. It could be worse!
sweet_merciful_crap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:15:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Came, went, and bought a t-shirt!
yogaposer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:44:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, am daughter-in-law and now a mom to a boy. Karma.
notenoughbooks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:47:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Parenthood, the happiest/saddest job. Its the only job where you actively work to make yourself unnecessary. :'( Mines 1 and I will count myself successful if he lives on his own with his own life and still wants me around. My dad says the saddest day of his life was the day I didn't run out to greet him when he got home from work. Because he knew I was growing up.
ladyxdi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:22:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad said this often during my teenage years: "You used to be such a loving child."
Now I'm in my 30's and he regularly tells me that he's proud of me, so that's good.
yogaposer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So true! Mine is one too!
sweet_merciful_crap ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:16:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pregnant now and one of my biggest fears is turning into one of those super overbearing mothers to a son and making my daughter-in-law's life hell.
yogaposer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:51:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I already think about the type of mother-in-law I want to be too.
fragilestories ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 16:58:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's weird. My mom attributes all of my successes to my wife. Like, "You never would have gotten anywhere if she wasn't kicking your butt out of bed every morning."
Like it's my fault that beds are so warm and inviting.
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 17:33:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Means they like her. Good for her.
icybluetears ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 16:30:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A daughter is a daughter for the rest of her life, a son is a son until he marries a wife.
NotThisFucker ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:02:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was a son until high school, when I had to be the one to make sure my mother worked during her depression. If the movie had been out, my catchphrase would have been "Look. Look at me. I am the parent now."
ademnus ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:58:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, in many cases it's "when will you find someone and settle down" followed by "no son of mine will marry a girl like her!"
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:14:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. My MIL liked me until I told me husband that we would not be living with them forever and she couldn't make his appointments for him anymore.
starsandtime ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:34:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man, she sounds like fun
coldlikedeath ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:16:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am disabled, independence is not appreciated in this house.
houseofleopold ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:38:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
can confirm, am needed/wanted by (now big) little boy. MIL had some episodes.
_angesaurus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What is it with moms of boys and being so possessive?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:55:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
notenoughbooks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/JUSTNOMIL
Tons of really good advice over there.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:50:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom will literally tear me a new one when she sees the engagement ring on my finger.
May be because my fiancรฉ and me are both men and mom's homophobic, tho.
smillls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom had a very hard time letting her children go. If they had their way, theyd have us live there with them until they die.
sycofaery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom to three boys here... I know I will never have a daughter, so right now I am looking forward to them having wives I can treat as my own daughters. I look forward to having a DIL. But I know when the time comes for them to start settling down... I am going to be one of those moms that thinks no one is good enough for her baby lol. So hopefully that makes them pick someone even more extra special who I will love even more.
NotObsoleteIfIUseIt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds conservative to me. I don't give a fuck about what my kids do with their futures but I do hope they're good.
loljetfuel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Both things can be true at the same time. I genuinely want my kids to grow up, go to college, find people to include in their lives, and have their own kids if and when they want to.
But I know damned well I'm going to miss having them so much in my life, and that I'll be frustrated when they inevitably make mistakes after ignoring my advice (which is exactly what I did to my parents).
GhostBond ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's true, but you should see the head trip they do the girls.
> 50% of those "don't leave the house or you'll be raped / murdered / molested!" themes have an actual source of their mother not wanting to lose control over their daughter.
Oh he brought you flowers and calls you every day? Her mothers brain goes "crap my daughter is drifting away from me! how can I stop this?" Watch out, boys just want to use you for sex! Don't be alone with him, or bad things can happen.
(years later) Why don't I have grandchildren yet?
scrotal_aerodynamics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom doesn't have to worry haha I'm not going anywhere lol
:(
Facenoms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a son and fear I will feel this way one day, especially since he is my only child.
However, I also hate having someone depend on me, so . . . maybe I'll be thankful someone else will be willing to take on the burden of making sure he's taken care of.
Especially if he turns out like his father. I can only deal with one man-child.
jackandjill22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother always screams she can't wait for me to move out because I own so much stuff and my dogs constantly make work for her, but she also doesn't want me to ever move out because she loves me and loves my dogs so it's like "What do you actually want me to do? Stop my life to stay here or move ahead?".
Beingabummer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 32 and never dated anyone. I think my parents are 100% on board.
RadSpaceWizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have good parents. Don't complain.
Studog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:39:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am finding this with my fiance, and her mom.. she is really struggling with the fact that her baby girl is growing up and moving out.. my finance is 24, and will be the first in her family (cousins and all) to get married.. I will be like the 12th out of all my cousins, so this is old news for us..
[deleted] ยท 3157 points ยท Posted at 14:59:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm fine, don't worry about me"
A headache, she's fine. Doing the chores alone, she's fine no need to help. Crying after a fight with dad, she's ok go to sleep.
Mothers are really tough. At least mine was.
LithaBel ยท 1516 points ยท Posted at 16:06:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother went through a VERY rough custody battle over me. My father put her through hell. But still, every time I asked if she was okay she gave me a big smile and a "Of course baby girl!" Now that I'm older I told her that I appreciated how strong she was for me, and she said "That's what moms do darlin'." She's the strongest person I know.
blackthorn_orion ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 18:29:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We had something similar. My mom would have divorced my dad ages ago if she could be sure he wouldn't have any sort of custody. But there was always the risk that her 8 year old and 5 year old would be left alone with his drunk ass away from her. No way she would risk that. And the thing is, TV makes it seem like you can just kick a dude out of his house, but if he doesn't want to leave you can't legally make him. So until we were both 18 she was basically a single mother dealing with two kids and a belligerent drunk adult the whole time. Sometimes it takes just as much strength to stay in a bad position as it does to leave one.
LithaBel ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:10:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry that happened to your family. Your mom sounds absolutely amazing! I hope you guys are doing better :)
VoiceSC ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:11:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like my brother-in-law's sister. She has 3 kids with this guy that's basically a deadbeat, he doesn't love his kids and is an alcoholic. Everyone wishes she would get rid of him but it's not that simple.
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 17:45:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I went through something similar with my parents, single mom raised me from the age of 4, worked two jobs, fought my alcoholic dad in custody for years. She was always strong, I do not have the iron will of that woman.
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 16:22:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. Sometimes you wonder where they're getting the strength to push on. Kudos to your mom.
VoiceSC ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:09:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Love can be a pretty powerful thing.
Propaganda_Box ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:29:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom went through the same thing man. The battle in court seemed to take years (actually just new/changes to custody agreements). Give her a hug from me and my mom. My mom gives the best hugs in the area code.
LithaBel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:47:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You got it! And to yours too, she sounds awesome!
[deleted] ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 16:55:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, god! I'm fighting back the urge to cry all over my desk.
Chocolaterain_014 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:10:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn ninjas and their affection for cutting onions!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:59:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They come out of nowhere, I tell ya!
Scatteredheroes ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 17:08:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, I am crying all over my desk. I need to hug my mom.
Baphomet_Abaddon ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 19:19:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The worst part is that when you grow up and you realize how much your mom was doing for you and what an asshole you were,even if you were "just a kid". I still, sometimes, can't look my mom straight into eyes when I remember what I sometimes did in my childhood...
funnyusername970505 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:39:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dem feels...im gonna call my mom now
diegogt96 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:34:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Crying now, ty you dick
Baphomet_Abaddon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:44:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LPT: Go ahead and hug your mom while still crying about that and don't forget to just say thank you, you never know when it'll be the last chance to do that and she'll appreciate that to the sky and back.
Simple thank you without saying anything else will make her day. (and if she'll ask why are you thinking her for just say "for being my mom"
astariaxv ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 20:15:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Always hug your mom. One day your Mom won't be there anymore and you'll never get another mom-hug again.
Take my word for it. I miss her so much
Scatteredheroes ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:56:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
D:. I have nightmares about that day. I hug my parents every chance I get. Are you okay?
astariaxv ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:13:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I'm ok, Thanks for asking. Sorry for the sudden feels attack.
She died very suddenly. It's been two years, but some days it feels like it just happened yesterday.
Scatteredheroes ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:59:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aw, don't worry about it. You have a right to feel sad!
If you ever need anyone to talk to, I'll be here :)
astariaxv ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:17:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! :)
smallest_ellie ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:10:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aww, you mom sounds awesome <3
LithaBel ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:09:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks! She really is :)
astariaxv ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:13:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
omg. I want to hug/be hugged by your mom!
LithaBel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She gives the best mom-hugs!
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:03:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That made me smile!
_shandril_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Excuse me while I go bawl my eyes out. Brb.
the_fancy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:56:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why but this very nearly made me burst into tears. Thank you for sharing it.
Raven_7306 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:40:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You made me tear up because my mom would do the same for me. She fought tooth and nail for me, because she'd never let me go with my deadbeat dad.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:41:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
LithaBel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:46:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry you went through that. Man, no kid should have to. I'm glad that your parents are (reasonably) happy right now, but I also understand the anger of a stolen childhood. I hope you're doing okay now. Hugs!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:31:25 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, I really appreciate the kind words. I just try to remember there are plenty of kids worse off than I was. As much as my situation wasn't ideal, I never went without food and was never abused, so it really could have been worse.
ifoughtpiranhas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:34:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this makes my heart ache <3
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:51:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom could beat up your mom
Storytellerbobfan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:19:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine is the strongest person i know. Moms are like that. :)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lucky. My mom would always tell me about how many problems she had and how many things she had to do and how little money she had. It really stressed me out. (Also we were not even close to being poor, I know that for a fact).
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:52:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not what all moms do :( time travel and adopt me pls
rollin340 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:10:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This really puts a smile on my face.
Mothers like this, those who fight for their kids with all they've got; they're the best.
Edit: Dad's too. Don't want the dads to feel left out.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
callmebunko ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:28:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're getting downvoted. I'm assuming it's because your point isn't very clear. You're saying that this is what happened to you?
If so, I'm sorry you had to live through that.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:56:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
callmebunko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:30:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, reddit is a harsh place. I'm sorry you've found no sympathy here.
Just remember that you cannot allow other people's actions to determine your place in life, even when one of them is your parent. While I will not defend your mother's actions, it is likely that fear was a big motivation for her at the time. Most mothers I have known are tigresses when it comes to their children - tear apart any threat to your child first, ask questions later. It makes for bad choices.
LithaBel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:09:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry it was depressing :( My dad did use me for leverage I guess, because he wanted to "win." The weird thing is that now I'm an adult myself I have a good relationship with him, but man, I hated him for a really long time.
I'm sorry if you went through sometime similar. No kid should.
LasigArpanet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She sounds amazing! And southern, is she southern?
LithaBel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:27:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, she really is! Haha but no she's not Southern, but my grandmother is, and the whole family says "darlin'" :)
LasigArpanet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, there's the southern then. I hope you and your ma create many more fond memories together!
jsnoots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How much does she bench?
chrisdmc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ouch... this hit way to close to home. Love how you talk about her. People like her are amazing. I'm lucky if I get half as good as a father than our mothers were to us :) Keep it up, all of you
surferdude121 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can I give your mom a retroactive internet hug? That must have been the hardest thing to tell your kid when going through hell.
coconasanamogramata ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 18:07:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just curious, you say your father put her through hell in a custody battle, but doesn't that mean that he fought to have the right to be with you?
I might be talking out of my ass, but my folks didn't fight over me when the split.
LithaBel ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:07:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's correct, he did fight to have me, but it wasn't because he was a good father. He wanted to "win" and wanted my mom to "lose." He told me as much. But I fully understand that everyone's situation is different, and maybe the two of us wish we could've swapped with the other. Hugs!
coconasanamogramata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Much appreciated, I didn't mean come across misogynistic or arrogant. It's just sounds alien to me to have your parents fighting over you for whatever reason, because mine didn't care and if anything tried to shove me off on the other. I guess things are rough all over.
InvadedByMoops ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:07:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm sure OP knows the situation better than what we can guess. It's entirely possible he was just fighting for custody because he didn't want to pay child support, or to "punish" OP's mom for leaving him.
IfWishezWereFishez ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:30:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once made a comment on Reddit about how my father was physically abusive to her, she finally left him when she was pregnant with me because she was worried he'd hurt me, and that I never heard anything from him or his family.
I got sooo many comments about how my mom had probably made the whole thing up to keep me away from him and he was probably out there desperately trying to find me.
Even after I said that I'd seen police reports, had the rest of her family tell me how awful my father was, and even looked him up online to find out he'd served time for domestic abuse and child abuse, somehow this was probably still a conspiracy of my mom against him.
It was really strange.
coconasanamogramata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think I came off as argumentative or arrogant, that wasn't my intention at all. I was genuinely curious.
Galotha ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:58:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
The whole fighting for custody simply because he doesn't want to pay child support doesn't really make sense to me.
If you are implying that it is cheaper for him to have custody of the children than to pay child support, that means that child support payments exceed the actual cost of raising a child. Especially since medical bills and insurance, extracurricular activities, and day care are all paid separate of child support.
So based on your statements logic child support payments are more than the cost to raise the child in ones own home.
And honesty they are. I am currently paying 535 a month in child support. If my children lived with me full time I would be spending 200 of that on there living needs (this doesn't include the current amount I spend for them on my weekends) and the rest on other activities.
I contribute more financially to their lives than there mother does. She still hasn't gotten a job. Lives with her mom, and collects welfare.
There is much more to this as well. Currently she took out another false domestic abuse claim on me and I spent the weekend I was supposed to have my kids in jail. This is 2 weeks after she denied my last week of summer visitation so I haven't held my girls in a month. Every time I text to see if I can skype with them I am told "to stop contacting her that she will file harassment charges if I text again". I'm sure the kids are starting to think daddy doesn't love us. And that is killing me. I feel physically weak due to the emotional toll this is having on me.
And all this is occurring because after her last affair I finally said I can't do this anymore. So because I said the marriage is over she had take my children, called my work and told them I am abusing her, taken all my stuff and wants me to pay 1200 dollars for it back, and put me in jail by telling lies.
I don't even know if I can date anyone again. Every time I meet someone I like I second guess myself and decide I don't have anything to offer this person. My life sucks and I am a horrible partner and they will end up leaving me. Or I will destroy how great their life is because of how fucked up mine is.
I can't escape and I can't even hug my children. Most days I feel like I am one step from just breaking down and I don't know if I will get back up.
EDIT: I in no way meant to imply I was angry or disagreeing with the OP about his mother. I was disagreeing with the child support vs no child support argument. Any father worth his salt( or mother) is already prepared to take their children on full time. Not saying it would be easy, but they could do it for the children. Sorry OP if you think I was bashing you.
InvadedByMoops ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:10:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Doesn't make sense to me either, since it's more expensive to have the kids than it is to just pay a couple hundred bucks a month for child support, not to mention the extra time and emotional toll.
$200/mo would pay for all the extra food, increased utility usage, extracurricular activities, larger apartment or house you'd need, babysitters/daycare, school fees and supplies, etc for multiple children? The hell it would.
My husband and I have been thinking of having a child recently, we sat down to do the math and it's going to cost at least an extra $1000 per month. For one kid. God help us when they hit puberty and eat everything in sight while joining like four different sports teams.
As for the rest of your post, I'm sorry you're going through that but you shouldn't compare your situation to OP's. It seems like you're implying OP's mom is a lying bitch without knowing anything about the situation. As a side note, you need a better lawyer. Yeah, they're expensive, but would you rather have money or your sanity?
Galotha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not implying anything about OP's mom. The only comment I was referring to was the child support comment.
As far as the money part goes, yes 200 more a month. You seem to think that the 535 is all I spend on the children. I already have an apartment that is big enough for them. I already pay for extracurricular activities, and I already pay for a baby sitter for when I have them during the week. I already buy them clothes for the month. And the only extra utilities would be a slightly increased water bill and the tv in their bed room being on more often. Not that much. Food bill would remain the same. When I grocery shop I buy based on my kids and my needs. Even though I only have them every other weekend I plan my finances around them. Just as I have done since they were born. I have always paid for everything for them. And now that she took them from me it is costing me more than it did when I had them. My life rotates around them. I am a father. But when I am being used just as a bank account and not being able to properly raise my children it kills me.
My lawyer needs to step up his game. But he can't change domestic violence laws. If someone fills out the proper forms at the police station they are required to arrest you based on that persons testimony. But we will be taking it all to court. I'm threatening enough to her that I can't see my kids, but not threatening enough that she is afraid to repeatedly ask for more and more money.
InvadedByMoops ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you go above and beyond your child support obligation then obviously my comment doesn't refer to you. There are very dumb people who think it's cheaper to have full custody of their kids than it is to pay child support (and only child support). They are who I was referring to.
And if someone does that enough times and you're found faultless every time, you file a civil suit against them for vexatious litigation. Seriously man, you have a shit lawyer. Get a better one.
jasmine_tea_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can empathize with you, although the genders are reversed (and I've never been in jail).
I often had the feeling that I have nothing to offer people. Even though I do have a loving partner, I still feel like I have nothing to offer to other people as a friend. Life has been getting better, though, even if it took several years.
That said, I get the feeling that maybe you're taking your anger out on the OP, who is in a different life circumstance.
All I can suggest is to have empathy and compassion for everyone. And keep trying to see your kids. But make sure to not make it a tug of war just to spite the other parent. Forgive others and forgive yourself (I know the latter is tough).
Galotha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. I try not to hold on to anger. I am actually not angry with my ex at all. She does upset me when she interferes with my custody time and lies about me. But I am not angry. Just very sad that this is my life. And I can't change it unless I give up on my children. If I keep trying to be a father to them my ex is just going to keep filing false charges and end up sending me to jail.
I did not mean to imply anything about OP's situation. I have amended my post with an edit to clarify this.
Thanks for the kind words.
jasmine_tea_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't give up, it took me 3 years to make any sort of progress. As long as you have the best intentions and you have persistence, you can make progress in seeing your kids.
BowLit ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 18:36:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was nine, my mother had a migraine that dragged on for a week. My father was away on business and so my siblings and I were very worried. We'd constantly ask if she was okay, and she'd smile and shrug it off after reassuring us she was just fine.
She died that week. Aneurysm.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:46:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry.
I'm sure though that she's happy that her kids are concerned for her. Hope you're doing great.
Maplethtowaway ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:07:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Woah, my heart just fell after reading that. I cannot imagine something like that happening to my mother. I hope you're doing okay, and your siblings and dad as well. May the stars watch over you (Your mom probably is watching too from up there).
[deleted] ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 21:14:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
BowLit ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:19:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, I know that.
fribby ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:58:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've been getting migraines since I hit adolescence. Bad ones, with varying symptoms including vomiting, blurred vision, numb extremities, memory loss, seeing weird colour streaks (auras), and more. It's not feasible to go to the doctor every time I get one. I just take my medication and ride it out at home.
I can totally see how someone could think they were fine and not know something was actually seriously wrong. It's not the mom's fault, it's not the kids' fault for not realizing, it's just one of those awful things that no one could have predicted.
redbluegreenyellow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:13:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No fucking shit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:25 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Having a bad day, little buddy?
Dont_Tellem ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 18:18:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom divorced my abusive dad.
Took us away when she found out he was abusing us.
Received ridicule from her family because she was a single mother and raised us full time while working full time.
I honestly don't know how she supported all three of us and was able to provide us with food, a house and clothes.
She stayed strong when she had to file bankruptcy and we lost our house.
She just got married to her boyfriend of 7 years last year. For a loose time frame my parents divorced when I was 6 years old and I am 23 years old now.
I honestly don't know how my mom did this. Sometimes I think about all the sacrifices she made and how alone she must've felt when she needed help with us. It makes me cry sometimes.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:34:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like what my mom usually says, "If mom's not gonna do it for you, who will?"
You have a great mom. I hope you tell her that everyday. :)
Dont_Tellem ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:40:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do talk to her frequently during the week. I'm actually going over to her house for dinner tonight :)
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:52:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good to hear!
lola_fox ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:15:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my mom put off telling my sister and me she had cancer. she didn't want us to worry about her during our first year in college. she finally told me 3ish weeks before her major evasive surgery. they removed part of her stomach and esophagus. i moved home immediately to take care of her. i did my next semester at a community college close by so i wouldn't fall behind. i wasnt going to let her recover on her own. she took such good care of us growing up, i couldnt leave her when she needed help the most.
that was 2006/2007. it was a tough recovery, but she made it through. she's doing great now. minus a broken leg... but that's a whole new monster.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:50:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad you were there for your mom when she needed you. Her having made it through made me happy too, minus the broken leg of course.
ademnus ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 16:55:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How many Italian mothers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
"None, never mind, I'll just sit here in the dark like a dog."
grumpy_hedgehog ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:45:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought this joke was about ungrateful Jewish sons?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:47:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
ademnus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:54:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
and yet both share a love of food, even if different food.
ademnus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:54:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from Long Island, we're interchangeable there.
roflzzzzinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:51:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also applies to Mexican mothers, except they'll screech and berate you right after insulting themselves
solidspacedragon ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 15:51:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, my mom was more like "Go do (insert chore here)."
She doesn't have the concept in her head that she has to do everything. That concept is kinda unhealthy.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:17:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not all the time though. Only when we have exams in school and are studying. When we turned 15 though we've divided chores between me and my brother at home.
whatizzit ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:26:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my mom has a bad back, like, really bad and it went out one weekend while i was visting my dad.. she army crawled through mud and rain to do the chores for our animals and I didn't know about it for years. moms are just so bad ass.
zachariah22791 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:22:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't see my mom cry until I was in high school, she was going back through college to become a teacher at almost 50 years old. She was so overwhelmed and she was also going through menopause. I'll never forget the first time I had to comfort my mother (instead of vice versa), it was almost surreal. I'm 25 now and she's pretty much my best friend.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:51:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seeing your mother cry is one of the worst feelings there is. Glad you could be with her for a shoulder to cry on though.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:59:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Maplethtowaway ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:07:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom sounds like a strong amazing woman! Props to her!
[deleted] ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 21:16:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Maplethtowaway ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:55:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah you'd think so, but if you've never been in an abusive relationship. Don't talk smack outta your ass.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:19:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:39:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't really know what to say but I hope that you stay strong amidst what you're going through. It's hard but from what I've heard a lot of people can live a normal life even under these circumstances. I'm no doctor but i know people who live normal healthy lives with HIV. I hope you do so too.
My thoughts are with you and your kids.
CRISPR ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:11:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you have to really add this? See what you did? Now everybody is weeping.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol sorry. It's just that I know how things could be different with other people's moms you know.
houseofleopold ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hope my kids feel this way about me someday. the biggest gift having children gives you and you give your children โ selflessness.
RedditIsDumb4You ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother has literally never said this. Usually it's I'm not fine and you are why.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it's just different for others. Anyway I hope you didn't let that pull you down. Hope you're doing great!
Lady_Paks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Our family went through a big shakeup that left my stay at home mom with a 12, 9, and 1 year old and no financial support. She always found a way to keep things going but sadly I had to grow up quick to help take care of my younger brother since my older sister was diagnosed with severe bipolar and couldn't help. It was a tough ride and I was a little bitch about it a lot since I was resentful of the responsibility so young but it made me stronger and more capable than my siblings and peers. I also appreciate my mom more.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes they just have too much going on and they need our help. Glad you lent her a hand when she needed it. Hope you're doing well.
Lennon_v2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother says this stuff but very passive aggressively and then mutters to herself how nobody helps her despite being offered help 2 minutes prior
Azusanga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was passive aggressive as fuck. If she said "No I'm fine" that meant you better fucking high tail it around and clean everything. Physically wrestle the broom out of her hand. She's pissed and you're about to be grounded.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cooking a feast fit for a king at Christmas on her own as the family is having fun in the other room.
"no, I don't need any help"
never really understood why mum was so tired on christmas night until I got older.
happygoluckypsa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum is the shit dog. I swear I'd be nothing without my mum.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm dying of cancer and currently on chemotherapy medication but I'm fine to do these heavy lifting chores. No, my pain isn't unbearable so I don't need any painkillers."
She fought colon cancer for 6 years after being given a prognosis of 1-2 years. She was prescribed strong painkillers but only took them if she was completely incapacitated by the pain, as she preferred being in pain but lucid to painless but unable to think. She was a strong woman. I don't know how she did it.
Wernerspoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, it was a lie? :0
bubbles_says ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Go kiss your mom. My mother dragged me INTO her fights with Dad, she'd wake me and rip me out of bed in the middle of the night to scream at me how I'm the cause of her horrible marriage, when dad was gone to work she'd scream and smack me around and make me cry and then make me go hide from dad when he got home (so he wouldn't see my crying and ask why).
brettf123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On the opposite end of the spectrum, I remember at age 16 crying over my mother as she convulsed on the kitchen floor, and when I begged her to admit she had a problem she responded with a slurred "I'm fine I just wanted to lie down"
Gamerred_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine definitely isn't the strongest physically, but damn you can push them through hell and back and they'll still put a smile on they're face as you walk by.
Thanks Mom's for doing what you do.
xiphias11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man this made me tear up. My mom was also tough as nails and I'm realizing it more and more the older I get.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother left me.
RestInPorzingis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This generation's closest thing to Einstein.
So don't worry about me, I'm fine.
lighning321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is so guilty of this, though she shows that she in the end is always fine.
A few years ago for example she had to get her appendix out and we found out as it was in the process of rupturing. The entire time that they were running tests and everything else trying to figure out what was wrong she was trying to convince everyone that "its just a pulled muscle". A standard recovery time for getting your appendix out is 12 weeks I want to say, and then according to the doctor a lot of people still have trouble moving and such. Not her, she wore jeans and hopped up onto the exam table at the 6 week point and after a bunch of convincing the doctor that she was fine she was back to work the next week.
Another one that she does is she doesn't really get sick, which she honestly doesn't that often. But oh god when she does its like she has the plague or something. Then a whole 3 days later shes fine.
Chortling_Chemist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, my mom would say that, but she'd say it in that derisive sarcastic tone that implies I should just know to cut in and do whatever she's doing for her.
Muffintop713 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep
coltrain423 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The one response that actually made me smile. Thanks for that!
stillphat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wish my mother was like that. She made every little thing look like the end of the bloody world. As I grew older I became more and more withdrawn, never telling her anything that would sound bad(same with my father), and eventually anything past my lifting routine.
I now realize that I have issues with intimacy because I don't know how to express how I fucking feel.
flyboyxtyson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Give a listen to Mackelmore's "growing up" great song about parenting
AWildAnonHasAppeared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
With all the negativity towards mothers in this thread, this was refreshing to see. Being a mother is very hard work, especially if you're a single one
aetherialvortex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom says these too. Now, I miss her, gotta hug her later.
biopunkk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was having abdominal cramps for a full 8-10 hours once and refused to let my sister take her to get checked out while I was away for a college orientation. 2 hours later I get home and she can barely stand. I took her to urgent care who said to get her to the ER because they didn't have the equipment to determine what was wrong. So we sit in the ER for six hours, she's in the worst pain I've seen her since she broke her back a decade prior. After the first hour, she was demanding I take her home so she could sleep it off because it was "taking too long" to be seen. She even had me roll the wheel chair up to the front desk to be discharged without telling me that's why she wanted to speak with them. I said "nope" and rolled her right back to her spot.
She planned to "sleep off" a ruptured, gangrenous appendix.
sk8erboi1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If u see ur mom cry u know shit is bout to get really bad.
Knowatim ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:53:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then they bitch about you not helping them.
disclaimer_necessary ยท 7995 points ยท Posted at 14:23:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
'Oh no, Caillou got cancelled and taken off netflix. How awful.'
Edit: You can keep any show from showing up on your netflix by rating it 0 or 1 stars. This has saved my sanity from many childrens shows. Heres how to do it
edit 2: holy gold, thank you!!
Fulmario ยท 4747 points ยท Posted at 15:37:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was hoping for: "Oh no, Caillou's cancer returned and there are no more episodes. How awful."
slightlyaw_kward ยท 811 points ยท Posted at 16:30:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is his cancer canon or just a fan theory (wish)?
DrunkOnEstus ยท 765 points ยท Posted at 16:44:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fan theory.
[deleted] ยท 1306 points ยท Posted at 16:58:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Fan"
[deleted] ยท 145 points ยท Posted at 18:05:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like to think he's an old man pretending to be a child that pays a family to put up with his shit.
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 18:12:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like to think his radiation an chemotherapy treatments turned him into Saitama later on.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:41:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It all makes sense now... Everything's coming together! And then after that he turned into master roshi!
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:02:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then Mr. Burns!
ThrowawayusGenerica ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:08:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then Mr. Magoo?
stickdudeseven ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:06:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Skeletal.
RedEko ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:07:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I sure am a fan of that theory
Covert_Ruffian ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:04:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Theory"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:46:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"."
trevmiller ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:30:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fan-cer
wise_comment ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:30:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shipping Caillou-Cancer
SagaCult ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:03:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh that sucks
DrunkOnEstus ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 17:04:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He actually lost his hair by doing 100 pushups, 100 situps, and a 10km run every day.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:07:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ONE PUUUUUNCH!!!!
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:59:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
More like
WON PAAAAAANCH!!!!
oh_no_not_canola_oil ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:34:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wish.
MiserMetal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can theory.
Digitalburn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There we go.
[deleted] ยท 545 points ยท Posted at 16:53:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Caillou doesn't have fans.
marked-one ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 17:04:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know. One punch man has a lot of followers.
vagina_crust ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:12:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ONE PUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCH
marked-one ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:14:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I firmly belive that caliou moved to Japan when he got older and became one punch man
babybelly ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:47:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
who was the guy with hair in the lobster episode then?
marked-one ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:52:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't know. Maybe some childhood friend
accountnumberseven ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:09:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Brief young adult hair spurt.
Rainuwastaken ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:05:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the guy Caillou murdered and stole the identity of.
huzaifa96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, Caillou Shippuden was way more hype than part 1.
BEEF_WIENERS ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:38:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL Caillou is Korean.
Covert_Ruffian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He does.
Ones that are willing to beat the bastard bloody and shove him into a fan with razor blades attached to the flying wing thingies.
glha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He does have cancer, though.
Playdoh_BDF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He has victims.
BottleMan10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He must get really hot during summer.
Nyan_Cat_Chick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:07 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just whiny bitches
Thespoderweeb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:40 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No kids show like Caillou has fans , they have cults made up of six year olds.
thegreenrobby ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 17:55:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Caillou isn't bald because of cancer. His body doesn't grow hair because it knows he doesn't deserve it, just like he doesn't deserve food or love.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:30:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fan theory.
Canon is he had no hair because even his own body fucking hates him.
mechacrab ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:26:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just a theory.
My favorite theory is that his body knows that he's such a little bitch that he doesn't deserve hair.
PM_UR_DANK_MEME ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:46:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fan theory unfortunately.
resvzb0a ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:17:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He definitely doesn't have cancer. In the original books, Caillou was young enough to not have any hair. In the TV adaption, they aged him without changing his appearance (much)
6C6F6C636174 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:12:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They aged him?
In looks only, apparently.
TaxicabKanefessions ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:50:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who's wishing cancer on a children's tv character?
Sav_ij ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 18:48:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone
tatsuedoa ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:15:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The creators shut down the theory I think. Even they think Cailou is just an asshole.
rbwl1234 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:04:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He has leukemia, but it doesn't kill him
He later moves to Japan, and becomes a super hero known as one punch man
Source:r/teleshits
Thebubumc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:08:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
His hero name is caped baldy. One Punch Man is the name of the show.
_angesaurus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:50:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do people overthink simple kids shows? Yes.
PM_me_PMs_please ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:22:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fan theory. Real reason is because he was younger in the books, and hadn't grown hair yet. Then, when they adapted the books into a tv show, they wanted to keep his look the same
Triquetra4715 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:43:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
More of an anti-fan hope.
TheAbsurdPrince ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:59:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Believe it's just a fan theory sadly
sixbanger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Colon.
VelociRapper92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cancer Cannon.
Bleda412 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They made him bald so that he could be unique and a sign showing it's okay to be different.
HookDragger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's the only reason he hasn't been accidentally left alone in the middle of the Sahara
dingoransom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My fan theory wish. I pretend it's everyone's fanon so much so that it became canon. Fuck that lil bitch.
Likely_not_Eric ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 16:53:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had cancer, and the thought of Caillou having cancer bothers me a bit. It's way too treatable: need something more dire like an aggressive auto immune condition.
altxatu ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:19:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have one of those! Don't lump that little fucker in with us. He's yours.
NeonDisease ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:40:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
he would just whine about having cancer and God would cure him.
butterbal1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:27:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps it is Lupus.
TheRealFlop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:24:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Childhood leukemia.
9me123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So like AIDS?
evelution ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:35:36 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Caillou is simply not worthy of having hair.
Hardy723 ยท 251 points ยท Posted at 16:05:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's awful that I am laughing at this. It's even awfuller that you wrote it.
Edit: hey, awfuller is a real word!
Wetbung ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:58:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Awfuller is a perfectly cromulent word!
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:46:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People need to embiggen their minds
Vash___ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:39:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
no, Cailou is awful
GeraldBrennan ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:42:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm generally a pacifist. But Caillou needs a hard and vicious and merciless beatdown.
Pullsn0punches ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:03:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We check out dvds from the library and if my 4 year old pick out anything that looks like it will really get on my nerves I look at the disk and say "oh no! This one is all scratched up and won't work!"
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:26:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, he doesn't have cancer.
https://www.google.com/search?sourceid=chrome-psyapi2&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8&q=why%20is%20caillou%20bald&oq=why%20is%20callo&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0l5.2784j0j7
Screenshot in case the result changes: http://i.imgur.com/Gf3bI6P.png
Perpetual_Burn ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:59:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of the few people I can actually say I'd wish cancer upon.
Emileahh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:32:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why does everybody hate Caillou so much?
server_busy ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:51:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's a whiny little twerp who's entire life is narrated by some raspy voiced grandmother-type that sounds like she had throat cancer. He cries about nearly everything and pouts about the rest. It's excruciating television at it's worst
spongebob_meth ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:42:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever watched the show?
thegreekone2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:11:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking little bitch
pakiman698 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel kinda bad for laughing at this
disclaimer_necessary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this is wrong but oh so right
Turbosoldier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are so funny
Crimz609 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Caillou is cancer
SirDigbyChknCaesar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like the plot to Caillou's Breaking Bad homage.
mstrdsastr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know that cancer could get cancer.
Lou_Bhang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ever look into the curse of the actors doing the caillou voice?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn you for reminding me of that terrible show.
theKapnTX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/2xme4v/my_buddy_googled_does_caillou_have_cancer_was_not/
I laughed hard at this when I saw it the other day.
Herry_Up ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dead. ๐
isobane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ask google voice search if Caillou has cancer.
I'll wait....
MindTheGap9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/imgoingtohellforthis
SirMikan ยท 214 points ยท Posted at 15:19:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Netflix needs to make this a reality.
shiveringmeerkat ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:14:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can contact Netflix and request shows not be available on your account.
beardedheathen ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:33:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a good features I want that to be enabled for kids accounts by default. If I never have to have super why play again it'll be too soon
sudifirjfhfjvicodke ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:51:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty annoying show, but not as bad as Little Einsteins. My 3 year old went through an obsessive phase of that for a while.
shiveringmeerkat ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:56:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Little Einsteins is currently playing in my house.... It's not the worst I've dealt with but its up there.
beardedheathen ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:58:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno I can tune out little Einsteins easily enough for some reason. I don't mind it.
shiveringmeerkat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:37:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's my toddlers need for me to participate no matter where I am or what I'm doing.
DJ_Dynasty_Handbag ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:15:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least it's educational.
InVultusSolis ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:15:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Super Why is good for learning, though.
What you really want to block is the religious bullshit like Veggie Tales.
beardedheathen ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:03:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Super Why is the worst for learning! hey books can teach you things. But we don't trust actual books to teach you so we'll make up new stories to teach what we want to show you. Like The Boy Who Cried Wolf is now about how parents should listen to their children. WTF is that about.
InVultusSolis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh get off it. The gods forbid something educational be fun. Books are one medium, TV is another. They each have their strengths and weaknesses. Simply recommending that a kid watch an educational TV show is not me saying "this is better than books, don't bother with those antique pieces of garbage!" In fact, last time we organized my daughters' bookshelf, I counted 75 books.
If I want to learn another language, exactly how far will a book get me? It can show me grammar, it can show me vocabulary, but is a book going to pronounce the words for me? No. Absent a fluent speaker to help you along the way, you learn by either listening to or watching dialog.
beardedheathen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:59:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shame you weren't actually able to learn reading comprehension from all your fun educational experiences. My problem is the dishonesty of saying that books are educational and then not using actual books to educate and instead using made up books taken from real books with real lessons.
daydreams356 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:56:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish newer kids shows stopped doing that weird animation style though.
UpUpDnDnLRLRBA ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:22:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm supposed to contact Netflix every time something comes up that I don't like? Who wants to do that? There are far more lousy children's programs out there than good ones. I should be able to set up a whitelist and have it only show my kid things I've approved. I'll never be done if I have to explicitly say no to everything I don't like.
10GuyIsDrunk ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:30:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You could just download the few kid shows you want your kid to watch and use Plex instead of Netflix if there are so few that a whitelist is a better idea than just rating everything 1 to get it to stop showing on the home page.
UpUpDnDnLRLRBA ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:37:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...but I pay for Netflix, and the artists who made the content (I assume) get some kind of payment for their product when I watch it on Netflix, and then I'm not committing a copyright violation. Besides, I'm not even sure where I'd find torrents of Lily's Driftwood Bay, Octonauts, or Justin Time...
10GuyIsDrunk ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are ways to download legally.
Lily's Driftwood Bay
Octonauts
Justin Time
You can also very easily buy these DVDs/Blurays and rips them yourselves. I also guarantee you that the producers of the shows get more from digital/physical purchases than from streaming, if that's something you actually care about.
Or just easily and simply rate everything you don't want showing up on your netflix homepage 1 star.
UpUpDnDnLRLRBA ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:08:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...right, but why would I pay for the content again (at over $1 per episode!) when I'm already paying for it? I don't care whether the producers get paid more one way or another- if they made a shitty deal with Netflix, that's their problem. But I do care that I am not violating copyright law.
You seem to have missed the point of my original comment, which is that there is such a mountain of shit children's programming, I'd be rating 1 star for weeks. A problem which could easily be solved by a whitelist for children's accounts, and which would solve a lot of other problems with Netflix.
The granularity of control on Netflix is abysmal- for children your choice is between "Shows for Little Kids Only", which invariably excludes stuff you're okay with that your kid wants to see, or "Shows for Older Kids and Below", which invariably includes a lot of stuff you don't want. Beyond that you just have the star system.
I'm bitching about Netflix, which I'd be subscribing to for original adult-oriented content regardless, not getting their shit together with the kids' stuff. Suggesting I either pirate the content or pay (a lot more) for it again is not helpful.
10GuyIsDrunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude... you're the one complaining about this shit, I just provided you with options. I don't work at Netflix, I can't implement a whitelist system into Netflix, all anyone here can do is converse about available options, which is what I have done. I'm sorry that isn't helpful enough for you bud.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:39:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm ashamed to say I watched it as a kid...
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:22:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's no shame to be had, it wasn't as bad back then. When all the hate started spreading I was legitimately confused. Went to watch it and was shocked at the newer episodes. It either got worse over time or I ignored his whining when I was younger
ShintakiShrooms2002 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:58:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's still aired on Tiny Pop, my lil sister watches it.
Duh_Ogre ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:38:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They did. Caillou and Daniel Tiger are no longer on Netflix.
sherlip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know you can just not watch things you don't want to, right?
NovaLext ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Rate a show you don't want to show up 0 or 1 stars
OctoPussInBoots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They already did back in July. Along with Daniel Tiger, which my daughter also loved. It's give and take with Netflix.
Bay1Bri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Netflix needs to make fewer things and build up their selection agian
'#MakeNetflixGreatAgain
princebee ยท 123 points ยท Posted at 15:18:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least with Netflix there are headphones. There are no headphones for Caillou on the TV. I'm sorry mom.
TheSleepiestWarrior ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 15:42:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never watched Caillou, what exactly is the problem reddit has with it?
PapaBradford ยท 173 points ยท Posted at 15:49:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That bald little shit is the whiniest little brat ever, and worse yet, his parents just kind of roll over to his demands. Kind of sets a bad example for kids.
imakefilms ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 17:46:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Horrid Henry is probably worse. The fucker would do something that ruins his brother's life and when he's found out his parents would just be like 'don't be so horrid, Henry.' And that's that.
PokemonGod777 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:58:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder how a version of Horrid Henry would be handled if Henry was 18 and did drugs and shit.
Every time I remember the fucker's existence, I can't help but realise how much worse that'd be
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:11:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Horrid Henry is a show seemingly deliberately made to breed an entire generation of awful, asshole children. Horrid Henry celebrates the awfulness of the main character - it's probably the kid's show with the worst attitude out there.
moonlightherb ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:10:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Thanks, do you know if there are any other good shows for my almost 3yr old toddler to watch? We are not native English speakers and she is just catching up with English, the language in Caillou is easy for her to understand although she only watches a few short episodes that are there on YouTube.
Edit: Wow, thanks for all the suggestions ppl! :)
DJ_Dynasty_Handbag ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 17:19:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Curious George. Wonder Pets. Kipper. Super Why. Doc McStuffins. Daniel Tiger.
cbftw ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:24:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
+1 for Daniel Tiger.
moonlightherb ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:07:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
thank you for the suggestions!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:20:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd also recommend the comic book Calvin & Hobbes when your child beings reading on their own. It has some big words but it's also easy to follow.
Yeeeuup ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:13:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Super Why is wonderific
kcfac ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:24:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Adding Peg+Cat to that list. My daughter is < 3 and can count past 20 thanks to that show. Songs are catchy, too.
DJ_Dynasty_Handbag ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:49:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's funny, I started to type it out, but I didn't like how it looked with the plus sign, and my lack of confidence prevailed.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:27:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
what do you think of dora? i felt like my sister learned quite a bit from that show
DJ_Dynasty_Handbag ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:51:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like it, but I don't feel like it is teaching my child anything useful at that age. All five of my kids were obsessed with her though, and I will take Dora over many other shows. I would rather my kids learn counting or spelling than a few spanish words.
AnneBancroftsGhost ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:52:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Rogers. Sesame Street. Fraggle Rock.
moonlightherb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:07:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
thank you for the suggestions!
clockradio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:30:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Put your teeth back in old man.
metastasis_d ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:12:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Wire
panda_nectar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:31:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bubble Guppies is one of the least obnoxious shows for toddler girls. And it has the best songs
theredstarburst ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:58:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Daniel Tiger is fantastic. We actually use the songs he sings in the show and it legit helps with my two toddlers.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:59:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, I have a legit Daniel Tiger story also. I was babysitting my niece when my sister had a c-section with her second child. Her husband was staying overnight with her because she was in a lot of pain and didn't want to be alone.
Anyway, my niece went to visit the baby, and she thought that she was going to get to stay at the hospital too. Nobody told her this - she made it up in her own head. I found out that she thought this after we left when I asked her, "Do you want In-N-Out or Chik-fil-A?" She said, "I want In-N-Out; we can take some back to mama and eat it at the hopsital" (that's how she said "hospital"). When I told her that we weren't going to the hospital, she started bawling. She wasn't throwing a tantrum though - she was just thoroughly devastated. This was going to be the second night they stayed at the hospital, and she hadn't been away from her parents for that long in her life. It started to die down a bit over time, but she still sobbed quietly to herself as she ate her dinner, and it was hard to get her excited about anything that would invariably excite her in normal circumstances. Again, she wasn't being a brat - she tried to engage, but she just couldn't take that her parents were not coming home again.
So I broke the TV rules of the house and streamed an episode of Daniel Tiger available on PBS's website. And what do you know? The one that comes on is the "Grown Ups Come Back" episode, where Daniel Tiger is sad because his parents are gone for the night while Prince Tuesday babysits. It made her feel immensely better when I tied it to her situation. Shortly after the episode ended, while we were reading bedtime stories, Mom and Dad finally Facetimed us. When I told my sister to guess what episode of Daniel Tiger came on, she sang the song from the episode, "Gro-own-ups come back," and my niece fell right asleep at the end of the call.
The songs are great because they are short and sweet - very easy for toddlers to remember. Thanks, Daniel Tiger!
theredstarburst ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:48:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My toddlers watched both the grown ups come back episode and the going to school episode before they started preschool and when I go pick them up at the end of the day, my daughter gets super excited and says, "Mommy! Mommy! My Mommy always comes back." It's so freaking cute.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:26:24 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's adorable! It goes to show how much kids will take in from people and things they admire. This is why Daniel Tiger is awesome, but Caillou sucks.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Puffin Island is great because of the Irish accents.
My 3 year old can not get enough of Peppa Pig. It is basically a family doing mundane things, but they are pigs, so my kids love it.
NetteFraulein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try Sarah and Duck
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pablo the Fox, Ethelbert the tiger
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Abney & Teal is completely delightful. It's been my kid's favourite show since he was 18 months and it's still his favourite at 4! http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/shows/abney-and-teal
kookaburra1701 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Rescue Bots is the transformers franchise for younger children. My BFF's two year old loves watching it with me and there are enough adult in jokes to keep me laughing.
blown-upp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yo Gabba Gabba!
itsamamaluigi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:40 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Octonauts is fun. My daughter knows more about sea creatures than I do. And it's not just fish and whales, they have episodes about tardigrades and siphonophores.
NetteFraulein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My daughter loves Sarah and duck.... every day. .. for the last 3 months....
awesomedude4100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:24 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
im nust gonna support the others suggestions of daniel tiger, I watch it with my baby niece and it might be the best kids show out at the moment. Also mr rogers if you dont mind an older show
WinterOfFire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Another recommendation for Daniel Tiger but also check out Peep's Big Wide World. About a chick called Peep, a bird called Chirp, and a duckling called Quack who learn about stuff around them. Sounds mundane but it was one of my husband and my favorites. Also completely blew my mind when my son who was 2.5 years old told me the mirror was just a copy of yourself (which he learned from an episode).
Wonder pets makes me want to throw my tv through a window as does Kipper.
HalfLife1MasterRace ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:39:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also the lazy fucking animators just stop drawing the scenes halfway through. It's like Caillou lives in some รฆtherial dream.
Skylord_ah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i watched a shitton of caillou when i was younger and i turned out fine. Just had strict parents though
clockradio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:34:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Plus, he whines with a Canadian accent.
"But why, Mua-meeee?"
BigDaddyDelish ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 16:18:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's a fucking piece of shit hellspawn that promotes shitty behavior out of children.
The parents are completely incompetent and roll over to the bald headed turd every episode. He literally teaches children to behave poorly and he is the bane of good parents everywhere.
Caillou is a massively unpopular show among parents, but among kids it's weirdly popular. I'm not too sure why because everyone I've ever met that works with kids or has them despises that show.
iprobably8it ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:27:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Answered your own question a paragraph above. A show about a kid who always gets his way? That's a big fantasy for most kids.
OctopodesoftheSea ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 15:50:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's about a whiny kid who whines and whines until he gets his way. The big problem is that it teaches kids to whine.
_queen_frostine ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:07:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I teach Kindergarten in a foreign language, and the library has a few Caillou DVD's in the target language. The language is easy enough for the kids to get the idea of what is going on while they eat a snack in the afternoon.
I have learned to not have them watch Caillou anymore, because the next few days are filled with the kids whining about everything to see if they can get their way like Caillou. It's super annoying.
OctopodesoftheSea ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:45:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, and I thought it was bad enough dealing with one whiny kid. I can't even imagine a whole classroom full of Caillou-wannabes. shudders
Maguilar60 ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 15:52:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not just Reddit, the internet generally agrees that it is a mediocre kids show (writing, animation) and provides plenty of examples of poor behavior for the kiddos to emulate
MaineSoxGuy93 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:14:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know how a lot of kid shows have a bratty little sister or brother?
Cailou makes all those brats look like saints.
waterskier2007 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:39:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents had an older sony tv with wireless headphones. I now realize why they were happy to pay extra for that.
JessicaBecause ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:06:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wireless headphones work great.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:44:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got my mom a roku because the remote has a headphone jack, and she likes to watch TV blaring until 12 at night.
queeraspie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Headphones aren't great for little kids.
Uberpigeon ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:54:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
but they're great for anyone around the kids
shpongolian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can just buy an adapter that goes from headphone jack to AV
darksphoenix ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:14:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol. Caillou is banned from my house.
pessimistic_platypus ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 16:20:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why is every mention of Caillou I see on Reddit just saying it's bad?
I don't remember anything about the show, but I've been told I liked it despite not understanding it.
syriquez ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 16:32:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a bad show that encourages children to whine and complain until they get what they want and never expect or accept consequences for bad behavior.
Elmo might be annoying but at least Sesame Street has plenty of redeeming value in spite of that little red bastard.
altxatu ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:21:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SS tries to teach kids, and is very aware of how its show might effect the little ones. They're trying even if the show gets tiresome. I just hate calliou. Fuck that little shit and fuck whomever made him.
Skylord_ah ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:09:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you should probably spell the whole thing out
Aconator ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:03:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's true. Elmo might be pretty annoying at times, but at least he's not an asshole. I'm hard pressed to think of times when Elmo actually did anything intentionally irritating; it's mostly just the voice and how often he appears. Caillou just exists to cause pain, like his parents are in hell and he is their personal demon.
mozilla2012 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:27:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, don't hate on Elmo. Elmo is rad.
sorryforthehangover ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 17:07:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My personal experience that lines up with what everyone is saying. My son and I were on a morning walk after watching a couple shows after breakfast. He was probably 3-4 or so years old. We are having a nice time and all of a sudden he starts playing this game where he wants to rhyme objects he sees with words he knows. But the game is just him looking at abject and immediately freaking out, which is very far out of his nature. I finally get him to explain the problem is, he tells me that he is trying to come up with rhymes and he can't do it. I offer some solutions to figure out rhymes so we can work it out together and have fun. Normally this wouldn't have been a problem in the first place, but if it was, we would have easily worked through it. But not this day, he was just hell bent on freaking out, it was as if the game was to drive himself hysterical over and over again. I was so confused, we did this walk every day at this time without issue, he's not tired, hungry, sick, and this is just not like him. Then it clicked, he had been watching Caillou earlier and this was exactly how the episode played out. Rhyming game on a walk, Caillou can't do it, Caillou is inconsolable, Caillou is a prick to everyone, Caillou ultimately gets his way after being a dick. I called my son out on his mirroring behavior, told him to knock it off and that was the last time that little shit Caillou was watched in my house.
Edit: changed can to can't
r3djak ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:12:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why, but I loved this story.
I remember being really young when Caillou first arrived, and I hated that bald little bitch from the first preview I saw. He was just such a little BITCH about everything! He was the embodiment of the bratty neighbors, that shithead kid who sends everyone home if he's not player 1, etc. He's just a bitch.
Your description of him being a prick made me laugh. I'm not sure I ever watched an episode, but I kind of feel glad I didn't give the show a chance now.
snake--doctor ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:40:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My kids have seen Cailou a few times and basically Cailou is a whiny little fucker that's annoying as hell.
disclaimer_necessary ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:00:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because Caillou is a whiney brat who teaches the kids to be whiney brats. His voice is awful too.
Literally every few minutes it BUT MOOOOoooooOOOOMMMM and then Caillou gets his way which is NOT something I want my nanny kids or future children to pick up
Duese ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:30:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am thoroughly convinced that this show is actually targeted towards the parents to show them exactly what happens when a parent sucks at being a parent.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:26:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Nah, it's just an example of a shitty Canadian cartoon. Does anything good come out of that country? /s
JustAnotherRandomLad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
As a Canadian: plenty of stuff, but yeah, virtually all of our
TV showscartoons suck (EDIT: I stand thoroughly corrected - see replies). But Canadian networks are legally required to have a certain percentage of their programming be Canadian, so we're stuck with it.[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't you guys make Trailer Park Boys? I have been enjoying watching that!
JustAnotherRandomLad ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:45:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's one of the few gems. The live-action stuff is generally better than the cartoons, from what I recall.
Aconator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But Reboot though!!
JustAnotherRandomLad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reboot was Canadian? I was thinking of stuff like Being Ian, Yvon of the Yukon, and Flying Rhino Junior High.
TBF, I did like the last one as a kid, but it got more than a few facts wrong...Tasgall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget Red Green!
I watched that with my mom while growing up, and it was amazing!
The Canadian news channel we get in Washington is also the best one to watch the Olympics on :v
JustAnotherRandomLad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:55:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, man, how could I have forgotten Red Green? D:
veruus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:18:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You Can't Do That On Television and Today's Special were pretty solid.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously? You poor soul
watermama ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:54:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good god, I thought I was the only one. I freakin' hated Caillou so much. Caillou and that horrible Sid the Science Kid, voiced by really bad adult actors. Shudder. Thankfully, all I need to deal with now is Katy Perry and Meghan Trainor. Oh wait . . .
clementleopold ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:21:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friends told their child that Caillou had to go away on an airplane.
tehbertl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:55:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why link to a Buzzfeed article when you've just explained how to do it?...
disclaimer_necessary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lots of people responding 'but xyz doesnt work for me'
Gabe_Noodle_At_Volvo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Better be careful or you son/daughter might fine themselves on r/CaillouErotica
disclaimer_necessary ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that link is going to stay blue
ReptiRo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God, I want to keep my daughter from watching that whiny little bastard.
Unfortunatly my little sibs are obsessed with that fucker, so I'm sure she will be shown him eventually :/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No but it really has been! Check it out.
2_minutes_in_the_box ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also: Dora and Diego.
Fenimore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On that note I've always wished you could block shows on Netflix. Keep others from ruining my feed with shows I hate.
ConflictedJew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit..time to clean up my Netflix selections..
Risesmustconverge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"They stopped making Paw Patrol. I don't know what happened!"
SamuraiJakkass86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant LunarBaboon posted today; http://m.imgur.com/gallery/6TLEC
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Go on youtube and let your kid watch "Caillou YTP" and they will never ask to watch caillou again
LandOfTheLostPass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, just no. The Youtube Kids app makes me wish that the Second Amendment covered thermonuclear weapons. There are a couple of video posters who would be responsible for their home states being turned into a smoking field of radioactive glass. Or, at least, I just wish I could block certain channels (6 of one...).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
disclaimer_necessary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Peppa Pig is right up there with Caillou for me. Its not as bad, but good god does Papa Pig give me the creeps. Papa Pigs name should really be Pedo Pig.
CorporalThornberry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck Caillou, little bald whiny bitch.
ILIEKDEERS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Since when does rating something 1 star prevent it from showing? I've eating things 1 star for ever and they still show up in my "recommended for you"
disclaimer_necessary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ive seen it work both ways, 0 or 1, depending on what your app will let you do.
Mavrick593 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is a fantastic tip for hiding shows!
deviousD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to have to double check the no stars option on our ps4 - I seem to recall the lowest I could rate it was 1 star.
TehKatieMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I need to do this with little Einstein s
JohnGillnitz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Somehow my kids came across this show called Crayon Crew. It is the dumbest show in the world, but they keep wanting to watch it. That and Animal Mechanicals. I'm happy to know how to banish them.
Bozhe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, seriously? When did this happen? I rated some terrible shows to try and get them hidden, but they kept popping up. Stopped rating things years ago because of it.
Kate2point718 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read a comment somewhere once from someone whose husband worked on Caillou, and she said all the people working on the show hate Caillou too and would sing the theme song with altered lyrics.
Ikari_Shinji_kun_01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/lifeprotips
TheBaratheon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you so much, my Girlfriend Swears by the TV show "Chuck". Cant stand that shit ha
AngryDemonoid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would give you gold, if I had any to give.
Empyrealist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is fantastic news! I cant stand some of my "recommendations", and have been just itching to make them go away forever. THANK YOU!
Blog_Pope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god why didn't I think of this before! I can't tell you the depth of my hatred for Strawberry Shortcake
CrazyFanGeek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you...I am sooo sick of Paw Patrol
Amygdala1106 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This actually works?! Heck yes.
PTBarnumsElephant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I need more than one up vote for this...brilliant!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
disclaimer_necessary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Daniel Tiger is the BEST kids show these days. I especially like it since its based on Mr Rogers Neighborhood.
ehsteve23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit, bye bye Paw Patrol!
GottaPewp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are a life saver. Eat a dick Strawberry Shortcake!
gronke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel so out of touch because I've never heard of this show until I read this post, and it seems like there's this whole movement around hating it.
I_MELT_STEEL_BEAMS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
Sunlit5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes!
TonytheEE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you plausible deniability for the existence of one "Doc McStuffins" and one "Daniel Tiger".
Peg+Cat 4EVER
cafeteriastyle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man I'm so doing this with Veggie Tales.
majikmonkie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy crap, my son was devastated when one of his shows went away. Just checked, he had accidentally given it a low rating. He's going going to be so happy to see that it's not actually gone! Thx!
oopsoctopus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You sir, are a god among men. Fuck you minions im taking you out
gogomom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The whining of that kid - I do not blame you a bit.
bluesox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That edit just saved my sanity. You are a godsend!
BillTheUnjust ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This needs to be a LPT! Caillou is the worst!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are fucking awesome! I will name my next child after you.
Moglorosh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't even make it past the damn theme song.
captainsinfonia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but have you figured out how to block youtube channels? F you Ryans Toys Review
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate you for mentioning Caillou and making that damn theme song brush the dust off to repeat in my head after at least 10 years of not hearing it..
Fun times skipping school and getting high watching it though.
C0lMustard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT!?! This is great
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just laughing at the thought of you actively leaving 1 star ratings on your child's favorite TV show
jdmgto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Especially since Calliou was such an entitled little shit head.
alyssajones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're my hero. Thank you!
I have no kids, but my roommate has shared custody of three girls.
djc6535 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is a full on lifehack. You've just saved me!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so happy to read this thread - I thought I was the only irrational one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in my 20s and I still enjoy Caillou. The girlfriend hates it though.
InVultusSolis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do believe this helped in getting rid of Veggie Tales.
Viperbunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is the one PBS show I don't let my girls watch. I saw one episode and that was enough.
ErickFTG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, that's great! Time to purge Adam Saddler from suggestions.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
THANK YOU!!! Brb, heavily editing the Netflix list...
climber_g33k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I rated every trailer park boys show on my roommates Netflix (which was logged in on the living room tv) a 0, because I hated the show and he always had full control the TV.
CrazyCoKids ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"but there are new episodes on YouTube!" Loads up GoAnimate videos where Caillou does terrible things
1drlndDormie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm doing this to Caillou now before my daughter ever gets a chance to see him. This past year, waiting in pediatrician offices has been very enlightening.
battraman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doc McStuffins is the bane of my existence some days.
ermergerdberbles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You glorious fucking genius.
Carl_Corey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, I have to rant about Caillou for a second. This is literally the worst show ever for a young child to watch.
Caillou is the biggest piece of shit kid ever, and only teaches bad behavior.
KryptonianNerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've tried that rating things 1 start before, and it didn't work
Mr_Bundles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This needs to be its own LPT. I had no idea that was possible.
aimelaine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I signed up for a reddit account just to upvote and thank you for show hiding instructions.
Tubaka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They still fucking make caillou? That show has to be the equivalent of injecting opiates straight into your kid's brain.
skatchawan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
fucking Caillou. This is the worst kids show ever. That little piece of shit just whines every god damn episode. We stopped my kid from watching it because she started to whine like that little bitch. Thank you for showing a way to make sure it never shows again!
GrimaldiJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think I believe in angels now because you have jusy saved my life.
DarkSideCubes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cailou was fantastic though :(
ShyGuy1265 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My 6th grade science teacher said she wants to punch Caillou in the face.
DuntadaMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That little shit's voice is like what I imagine the sound Banshee would make if you ran the noise of nail on a chalkboard through a bullhorn directly into their ears.
Who let that voice on TV?
Famixofpower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What if I accidentally rated my favorite show a 1? How do I get it back?
disclaimer_necessary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I believe it still comes up when you search it specifically
OctoPussInBoots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh the joy when they actually did get rid of it in July.
[deleted] ยท 606 points ยท Posted at 14:24:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you keep playing with it, it'll fall off
[deleted] ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 14:52:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did it fell?
salvador74 ยท 83 points ยท Posted at 15:43:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
u fuckin kno it
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:49:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Poor pumpkin, deprived from the joys of life :(
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:34:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The front did.
ChrisSkullCrush ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:20:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, but I gave the thing a wicked ass curve.
Timoris ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 16:42:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or loose complete sensitivity and last forever. Either or, really.
[deleted] ยท 103 points ยท Posted at 17:20:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
TheOneWhoSnipes ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 17:24:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. That's saddening to read man. Hope you get back into sex shape.
Timoris ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:30:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait.... How do I know if I have S. A.?
Sparkybear ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:05:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Is it compulsive, meaning you do it out of habit or necessity? Does the compulsion interfere with your daily life? Has that interference harmed you in any way? Can you, realistically, stop the behavior? Not, "I could stop if I wanted to", but "I could stop even if I didn't want to". If you answered yes to more than one of those questions, or no to the last question*, you should probably speak with a counselor about it.
dirtyhappythoughts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For the stopping part, how much is this worth when there's no reasonable reason to stop? When it doesn't interfere with life, does not cost money or (much) time? If you can stop when it is needed, yet have absolutely no reason to?
Sparkybear ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:24:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's important to be able to stop even if you don't think there's a reason to. One of the problems, and major sources of harm, that comes from addiction is your loss of control of your behavior. Addiction doesn't happen overnight. It's really easy, for some people not everyone, to fall into a sense of comfort with a similar thought process that you brought up.
You have to honestly answer the question, do I have the ability and will power to stop this behavior for as long as needed? Be it a week, a month, a year, the rest of your life? I know that sounds a bit extreme, but people who suffer from serious addictions and get control over them have to have the will power to stay away from alcohol, or tobacco, or gambling, or heroin, or masturbation, for the rest of their lives or risk a total breakdown of their lives.
So, for something like masturbation... If it's something that you do regularly, which most people do, are you able to stop when it's inappropriate? Could you decide to stop even if it's not inappropriate? Even if it doesn't harm you now, if it did or could harm you in the future, would you be able to stop doing it today?
In some sense, it's the most important question to ask yourself.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It probably has nothing to do with masturbating a lot. Were you a heavy drinker in your 20's? That can lead to early erectile dysfunction.
RadSpaceWizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I assume you told her it's a physical issue? Does she not believe you or what?
Also, I hope you sue that doctor.
AndroidPaulPierce ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:30:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just putting this out there for others in simular situations. /r/nofap.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:42:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Fresh_C ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:03:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you're really addicted to something, it's hard to do it moderately.
Some people definitely can, but for most it's easier to stop completely than it is to try and keep fine control of how much you do it. That's why you rarely see former alcoholics drinking.
I don't know if Sex Addiction/excesive masturbating works the same way for people who have the issue. But an argument can certainly be made that it makes sense to cut out the behavior entirely if it's threatening to ruin your life.
Note: I'm not talking about people who just "masturbate a lot". I'm talking about people who spend so much time masturbating or engaging in other sexual behaviors that it significantly interferes with their family/job/relationships.
AndroidPaulPierce ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:49:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So you want someone in your position to do nothing about the situation they're in? There's a reason AA exists, alcohol in moderation isn't a bad thing, but some people can't help themselves and need a group to support them.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:47:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:40:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
With my mother, it was more when really young boys like to tug on it/have hands on it all the time. Her other favourite was 'a bird will fly down and peck it off'. My brother wasn't really at an age where masturbation was an issue at the time.
I've got two small boys now myself and try to limit it to 'hands off your penis, it's not polite in company' or similar because I'm pretty sure my brother was convinced his cock was going to drop off if he touched it too much
anniarchy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:41:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad said something similar except the little diversion was, "If you keep poking your bellybutton, your butt will fall off." I got mad when I tried to make that happen and it didn't, which made my dad not say anything like that again because I made him out to be a liar.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:49:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Somehow I feel like it's a penis
BH_Andrew ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:26:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Youdon'tsay.jpg
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:51:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thankfully it was true. Who needs a fourth nipple?
spongebob_meth ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:44:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So basically moms are responsible for prostate cancer
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So that's how Christians stop masturbation
showyerbewbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Been trying to jerk it off for over 23 years, still hasn't happened yet.
AwkwardNoah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do I need to say it?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But MOM! If my legoman's head falls off he DIES!
BitchImFloppy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why didn't someone tell Bruce jenner ๐ญ๐ญ
stalactose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This one is true tho
blown-upp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is how we end up with adults with abysmal sexual education. It's sad, too, because the solution is super easy and productive: educate folks with scientifically backed information! But instead, we end up with 21 year-olds that think you impregnate a woman by peeing on her ยฏ\(ใ)/ยฏ
slickheadoflettuce ยท 819 points ยท Posted at 12:43:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Beauty is on the inside.
MrPairOfBongos ยท 573 points ยท Posted at 13:38:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Beauty is only skin deep. On the inside, we're all pretty gross.
Imakelasers ยท 699 points ยท Posted at 14:28:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Speak for yourself, my spleen is immaculate.
geared4war ยท 437 points ยท Posted at 15:00:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The doctor says I have a cute angina.
Blaze_fox ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 15:20:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you will want to be careful about that.
a cute angina killed a friend of mine's mum!
Gummychaos_ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:46:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You. I see what you did there. Take your upboat
AbyssalCry ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:32:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude. They both made the same joke...
Gummychaos_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:37:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for that. I also just happened to find the second one funnier.
Blaze_fox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:50:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i have my moments.
now i have to cry myself to sleep for that god oarful pun
Lxvpq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A cute angina never killed anyone but when you go in Farction, a dangerous place with clogged up passage, you might not be able to come back.
mealzer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you get revenge?
Blaze_fox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
nope. could never find it!
CheeseFantastico ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:41:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You left off the "m".
Tsquare43 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:29:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you should see my liver...
vegablack ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:25:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I saw it over there! In the fava beans!
Tsquare43 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
right next to that nice Chianti
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:22:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
geared4war ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was actually pleurisy from a triple case of pneumonia. Three times in a year.
Twice in hospital.
justrun21 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:22:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
angina means pain...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:47:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
justrun21 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:31:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh damn. I've been had
Hoosteen_juju003 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:44:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have cute chest pain?
SuperSMT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
acute
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:10:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pics plz
ThyLurker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:13:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's sooo cute!
Siphon1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
did you mean "mangina?"
geared4war ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm...maybe.
He WAS gripping my ears at the time...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You got a tipo there, let me fix?
Shin-LaC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you shave it?
Sawses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Might want to speak to a lawyer.
peacemaker2007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:40 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
plexxonic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can I see it?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My liver on the other hand...
stillnoxsleeper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You joke, but one time a dentist looked at an xray of my teeth and said "wow you have lovely long roots"
ummmm......thanks?
Alburio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We
Alburio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Will
Joald ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Beauty is only skin deep. On the inside, I'm all pretty gross.
derpface360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Found the Blessed Virgin.
extinct_fizz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A previous bf of mine started having really terrible chest pains last year (which were super mysterious because he's thin, late 20s, and doesn't smoke or drink). When he got some sort of internal scanning to diagnose, the physician made sure to point out that his liver was flawless.
espo1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I REALLY wish I had gold to give and I have to idea why literally started cracking up, so take this
wild-haggis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes right to the bone... ?
babybelly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
unless our outside is made of makeup or dirt and the inside begins with our skin
DoctorOctagonapus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes right to the bone.
cthulhurei8ns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well I don't know about you, but every time I get blood drawn I'm told I have lovely veins.
Drudicta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, mouths are pretty sexy.
VampeQ ยท 473 points ยท Posted at 12:46:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"That's just something ugly people say."
brandinni ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 14:52:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
+1 for the Liar Liar reference.
ProfCunningFox ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:48:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, I've had better
Hyperdrunk ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:53:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that reference was short, shriveled, and a little to the left.
brandinni ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:28:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least he didn't try to bounce them like Sugar Ray Leonard.
jfrosty42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Rumpelstiltskin??
bhuddimaan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a true statement because he was able to day it
gerald_bostock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, at the very least he believed it.
LessMidRange ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i concur plus 1
Hegiman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:04:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I use to think that too, until I realized some of the most physically beautiful women I've met have had the ugliest personalities.
CourierOfTheWastes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Loved liar liar.
GreatBabu ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:49:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Beauty is in the eye of the Beerholder.
Donuil23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if you're posting a correction, or being sarcastic, but honestly, I agree.
GreatBabu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:19:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure I saw that on a Homer tshirt.
Donuil23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:25:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOh, beer! Nevermind.
InvadedByMoops ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:33:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your random bold e's are distressing
Donuil23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We need YOU!"
fart_smells_good ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 12:50:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
well your mothers inside is actually pretty beautiful, i saw it last night
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
AND YOU STILL WENT IN? Oh, gawd!
Daxx22 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:48:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The echo was fun to play with.
madsgrav ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:35:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Beauty on the inside doesn't get you free drinks tho
stayoffmygrass ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:50:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Beauty is only a light switch away.
AnyaElizabeth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:22:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But this is true. Or, at least, beauty is complex and intensely subjective.
People you're genetically compatible with look hotter. People who remind you of people you like look hotter. People with charisma look hotter. People with good posture look hotter. People who project values that align with yours look hotter. People who fit the ideals of your current culture look hotter. Even just Peele you've known for a while begin to look more beautiful.
People you hate look hideous. Exes you used to love turn ugly as time goes by. The solid 10 at the office seems to get uglier every day you have to listen to their shit in meetings. The face of your high school bully makes you feel sick. People who only look a little tiny bit like them are ugly to you.
You look like a total knockout when you look at yourself on a positive day. You look like a gargoyle in the mirror on a negative day. And people who look for flaws see an uglier universe than people who look for beauty.
Ubername_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Duh, this is why guys are always trying to get inside you. They want to #feel all that that beauty.
sarcazm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:45:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Growing up, I was a little pudgy. When I was in elementary school, I was average weight, but I had a "tummy" if you know what I mean. I asked my mom one day when my tummy would go away (because I had heard that young kids have tummies). She said in 6th grade. Well, I guess she thought that by that time, I would forget about this conversation. Well, I didn't. And I was pretty upset when I got to 6th grade and I was still "fat."
InvadedByMoops ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It'll go away when you put down the fork you fat little shit"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the demon inside me blushes
keeperofcats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually believe that. There's so much more that goes into being beautiful than current beauty conventions.
However, it is also true that many people will treat you differently if you don't conform to their standards of beauty.
peartrans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Theres truth to this. But ugly people generally have to be extraordinary to be seen/heard.
BAXterBEDford ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen the insides. It ain't beautiful.
Stockholm-Syndrom ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:04:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She might be a buthcer.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:55:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The only butcher here is you.
ItsAmrFawzy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:20:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like butt hacker if you try to read it
iamerror87 ยท 1749 points ยท Posted at 16:39:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
For me it was:
Playing Pokemon on my Gameboy color and mom comes into the room at 10:30 P.M. "Your gameboy is broken I'm going to take it to get fixed" "But mom it's working just fine, I'm playing it RIGHT this minute" "LISTEN! I SAID I NEED TO TAKE IT IN TO GET IT FIXED RIGHT THIS INSTANT. I JUST HEARD ON THE NEWS THEY CAN EXPLODE AND THAT'S WHY THE FUCKING BATTERIES KEEP DYING!!!" "Mom I never heard that ever about gameboys" Snatches it out of my hand and leaves me crying while she goes to trade it for drugs.
Alternatively when I would go see my aunt she would ALWAYS give me 100 bucks or more. So I had this wall unit in my bedroom and I put a lock in one if the doors where I would like my money and other things away.
Come home from school and "...Mom what the heck happened to my lock on my wall unit" "Our house was broken into and we were robbed"
At this time we had a lot of expensive fancy crap in the house. Big screen tvs and the like. "But nothing else was taken..... they broke into the house, went straight for my room and broke the lock and took only MY money?" "...................yes......"
Those were common lies told to me by my mother.
Edit: I had no idea this would receive the attention it did. Just wanted to let everyone know, I am doing much better now. I left home at 16 and I will be 29 next week. I have 2 kids of my own and own a house on 3 acres of land. I am hardly rich by any means(No college will screw you hard out of jobs these days, so STAY IN SCHOOL KIDS, I'm broke as shit, lol), but I am happy and I think that's all that matters. Edit 1(a): There has been some confusion as to weather or not I've gone to college. I haven't gone to college, and what I was trying to say was having no college education CAN screw you out of a lot of jobs these days. I know this because I have been turned down from many jobs for simply not having a college degree, even if the job didn't require it. So STAY in school and if the opportunity presents its self then go to college by all means. 1(b) My house was cheap because its in the boonies, but I a still proud that I was able to accomplish something such as buying a house after the life I've lead in the past. I am proud of my house and I don't care that it's not a million dollar McMansion in the city. I was born and raised in the city and frankly I've had enough of it.
Edit 2: I've tried to respond to everyone who commented wishing me well and what not, If I missed anyone I am sorry.
Edit3: In case anyone is wondering, The gameboy thefts were in the later years of her addiction after all the fancy shit was sold. But when she stole my money it was because it was easier to steal my money and pick up drugs right away than to try and find someone who wanted to buy a pure marble dining room table or some other funky shit we had. We only had the really fancy stuff for about 2 or 3 years. I explained in another comment how she obtained those things by the way,she worked for her boyfriends moms magazine selling ads. but instead of taking payment in cheques form she would take product. Because she wouldn't be able to cash cheques written out to the magazine.
delorean225 ยท 602 points ยท Posted at 17:24:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always take for granted the very fact that I have stable, healthy parents. I feel for you, even if I can't really understand what that must have been like.
iamerror87 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:13:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, you get used to it I guess. I happened with everything good we owned, computers, nintendos, segas, bikes, anything of value really. So it was a common occourence. Every 4-8 months or so she would try and make it up I guess and buy me a new(used) console but it would only be around till she lost her next job or something(which was never long, maybe 6 months) and then it would be back to nothing. because she would have sold it again.
Thankfully shes mostly gone out of my life now.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 18:55:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously I don't even know how to relate to this. My parents where and always have been like winning the lottery. I honestly feel like I was given some kind of prize at birth.
Donuil23 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:14:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. Like mine weren't perfect, maybe I could have used a bit more pushing in High School, but they always loved me, were always fair, and love the shit out of my kids.
jinxed_07 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:40:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It bothers me way more than it should that you have a random "e" bolded there.
delorean225 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:49:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's a forced meme of some sort.
Donuil23 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:51:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"We need YOU!"
FoxyBastard ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:03:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well a few of his posts have a single bolded letter. I've pieced them together and they say "Help. They keep me trapped in the basement and they're watching me right now."EDIT: NONE OF THIS IS TRUE AND HE HAS WONDERFUL PARENTS.
bossmt_2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:24:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, my parents lied to me, but it was pretty tame compared to some of the headfucking shit I've heard in my life. What screws with me is that people stick with shitty parents too.
iamerror87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:13:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I left as soon as I legally could. You can leave home at 16 in Ontario. Or at least you could when I turned 16
bossmt_2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:19:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WHich I mean I can get. I had a semi-rough relationship growing up with my parents because they pushed us. Both of my parents came from working class families. My dad's parents factory workers and my mom's farmers. They pushed us because they wanted us to have it better than they did and keep on passing it along. In that regard they did pretty well. Unlike many parents these days they have no kids living at home. Not because they woudln't take us in if we needed it, but because they instilled on us the importance of self sufficiency and independence. They've got kids of all levels of success as far as adulting goes, but I think the thing they're probably most proud of is that all of us still love each other. COrny as that may be, I think they know the struggles of having siblings all stay close and of having kids still love their parents.
DannyPrefect23 ยท 391 points ยท Posted at 17:17:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry, dude.
Hugs through screen
[deleted] ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 17:34:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
DiamondMiner2323 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:08:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hugs through double screens
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:58:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
trys to hug through screen, breaks screen
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How's your screen now?
mudra311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To shreds you say?
SantasLittlePyro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:43:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I see... And how's the other screen taking it?
rhm2084 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hugs through smartphone screen
iamerror87 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:08:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, I appreciate that. Thankfully I have a family of my own now and for the most part she is out of my life.
DannyPrefect23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:10:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's good to hear.
caligari87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Nicest Place on the Internet
Or this if it's not working.
hanky2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:27:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Drags him in
LearningDS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WhackTheSquirbos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Said screen was somehow not stolen.
ShockinglyEfficient ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:31:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh fuck off
ignezio ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 18:01:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey sounds like we had the same mom. Mine would often buy drugs instead of food for me and that would lead to constant days without eating 4 is the longest I can remember. We also lost our home but before we did she sold everything bought a SHIT TON OF DRUGS and then we slept in our car for 2 years . Ahhhhh how I wish she would have died and not my dad but oh well
phd_dude ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:22:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry you went through this, hang in there.
iamerror87 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:33:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No shit. I know all about not eating or rarely eating because there was nothing to eat. Or if there was little it went to my brother and sister as they were younger. I got a real taste for sugar on toast, and rainbow sprinkles on toast though as a kid. Those were good mornings lol.
We moved around a SHIT TON. Probably about 25 + times by the time I left home at 16, so that's almost twice a year. I can't even remember how many schools I have been too in my life, so needless to say I never had many friends growing up. Spent alot of time in hotel rooms too(dunn how she ever had the money for them, but alot of the stuff we did have like fancy furniture, the Porsche, and other cars, she got because the asshole she was with(another piece of shit all together) his mother published her own magazine and so my mom and this asshole would go around selling ads in the magazine but instead of paying for them, they would take trades for product and the like which would than be sold or kept for awhile. Needless to say the magazine didn't last too long(at least 5 years though because the mother had quite a bit of cash from other things in her life)
And like you, I wish my dad was still around rather than her. But they actually both got cancer at the same time(though they were divorced) but she survived and he didn't. But as a friend of mine always said "The good die young, but evil? Evil never dies!"
But she's mostly gone out of my life now, and I am much better for it.Hope you're doing alright too. You ever want to talk or something feel free to shoot me a message.
ignezio ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:27:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Lol I actually think we lived the same life my I was always making 'French toast' with just sugar and bread or mayo sandwiches I lived in several hotels thought my life and would often sleep on the floor. I've been to I think 16 schools in totals and have moved anywhere around 30 times if I'm counting the hotels if not around 19. I also left home at 16 and I'm currents attending college. My mother ALSO ran into a bit of cash after my dads death (about 100k) and blew all of it in a month. She rented this fancy ass house but couldn't pay the water or gas bill so we lived in the dark and then we moved back into a hotel. Typing this reminded me how much I hate my mother lol
Edit: I remember when I first moved into another house hold and opening up the frig and finding all this food I couldn't comprehend it at the time because living day to day was normal to me . I actually thought everyone lived off mayo sandwiches. You never fully realize how depressing everything is until you live a "normal life"
iamerror87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:34:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
But wasn't sugar on toast the fucking greatest? Lol. I never ate mayo sandwiches because I hate mayo, I was a peanut butter kid. I would honestly go through a whole loaf of bread in a day with peanut butter sandwiches when it was there lmao. But back then bread was like 85 cents a loaf so it was easy enough to get. Nowadays where I live its like $3.60 Canadian regular priced.$2.00 on sale. It sucks, but thank fuck I can afford it these days lol.
I haven't gone to college yet but I do plan to possibly go soon if my other goals don't pan out. But I still need to finish high school, I have a hard time with math and writing essays. Tried the GED but couldn't get it. So I think I need some adult classes or something. I'll get er figured out soon though:) I remember living in the dark quite a few times. I was told it was because she hated the downstairs neighbors and so she did it on purpose to get them to move out... except we went like that for months. I remember having to keep the milk out back in a cooler and having it be frozen from the cold weather mixed with the ice in the cooler(Fall/Winter). I also remember I knew it was time to start packing when the landlord would come by and mom and her boyfriend would get into an argument with the landlord for whatever reason (most likely nonpayment of rent but there was ALWAYS an argument) and it we would go that day or the next to collect boxes to pack. Or one time I came home from school and the locks were changed and she came to pick us up and it was off to the hotel. I actually used to like the hotels though because they usually had a pool where I would go down and swim for hours with bro and sister while her and her asshole would be up in the room. Couldn't do that now( I would't even imagine leaving my 8 year old child near a pool by herself let alone IN IT.)
But yeah when my friends (when I had them) would be able to ask their parents for like ten bucks to go to the store, or ask if we could rent a movie when I slept over, it made me feel sad because I could never do that shit. I NEVER had a friend ever sleep over until I was in grade 5 or 6, and even then, mom came home SHITFACED that night and embarrassed me so much, oh and also his mom wouldn't let him come over again because she left us alone which actually was anther strange concept because I had been left home alone since I was 5 or 6 years old, so when My friends told me they had to go EVERYWHERE with their parents because they couldn't stay home I thought that was the weirdest thing.
Shit man I never expected this post to blow up like it did, but people telling me their own stories keep jogging my memory. Ah well, least that's all it is, a distant memory. Glad your doing well for yourself. Keep up with that college. You got a career goal in mind or just doing it for the education?
ignezio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:12:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yo I feel you I remember not having water for a week straight and then my hair got super greezy and I got ridiculed at school and then I broke into a house and stole some cold water so I could wash my hair. But FUCK YEAH SUGAR TOAST WAS THE SHIT but my person favorite was rice butter and sugar that was my shit honestly. But yeah living without water or gas sucked I remember that one time all that I ate for a week was eggs and once time I took a Swiss Army knife and I spend like 30 minutes sawing throw a lock that the energy company put on the pipe so I could have some food.
Also that I would ask my mom for a couple of dollars and she would call me ungrateful and that the movies was rare I later turned to crime and would break into people house just so I could steal the food I never actually stole anything valuable besides some mayo and break because mayo sandwiches are this shit IMO
0OOOOOO0 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:33:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, that's fucked up
ignezio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:15:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly in the mind of the victim it's not that bad I mean if it happens at a young age thAn t just becomes something that you think is normal.
IE when I was living in a hotel I thought everyone ate hot n spicy mc chicken every fucking day. Lol I hate my mom
iamerror87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah exactly, for the longest time it was normal, just how life was.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:43:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
iamerror87 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:55:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit man I know what you mean. I was never encouraged to do much other then t be out of her hair. I didn't get into a shitload of trouble as a kid(surprisingly) but I had a hell of a hard time with school since grade 3. I could never do my homework. Never had help with school projects( god forbid we had to buy any supplies for a project it would be "If the school wants you to do it the school can pay for it so fuck them assholes".
She also told me once "Why the fuck would I have bothered to save money for you to go to college? No one in our family goes and I knew you wouldn't make it through high school anyway."
Thanks for the kind words mom.
Although one thing she used to do was when we were watching TV she would come out of the bedroom and wlk right infront of the tv and stand there staring off into space while either turning the tv all the way down or turning it off, because she was too paranoid and was listening for shit. I HATED THAT and never knew why she did it until I unfortunately got into the same drugs myself(Thanks again mom.) She introduced me to the hard stuff when I was 14 after finding out I had tried pot a few times . Peer pressure and all that mixed with the anxiety and my desire to fit in, I thought it would be cool. Also there was always random strangers at our place too. Her fucking friends husband beat on me a couple of times too when I made his son cry. What fun.
But I am doing much better now, and like you I have A LOT of catching up to do. If you don't already have one, Nintendo 3ds Is fucking awesome and you can play pokemon red,blue,yellow on the virtual console, while remakes of Silver and gold can be had as DS games, which are hard but not impossible to find. I am currently playing through Red again after beating Y recently. I have heartgold and Platinum so I am just missing Pokemon white I believe and Alpha Saphire(Daughter has black and Omega Ruby)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:14:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
iamerror87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:17:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm kind of glad that I don't remember much of my childhood, but my girlfriend always gets sad whenever I do remember and bring up some memory from my childhood, because most of the time its a good memory followed soon after by a bad one (Like, I got this really cool toy for Christmas but a week later it was gone. This one really happened as well, she told me the toy was recalled but I looked it up last week actually when I remembered it and didn't find any info about it being recalled.) Seems the only memories of my childhood I do remember well are bad ones. Although there are quite a few good memories I do have playing with friends or being with my friends families, but in terms of memories of my family? there wasn't much fun there.
My mom was weird with my sex life too, always wanting to know about who i was with and how they were, or ask them how I was and shit which obviously is really fucking creepy in its self. Needless to say these days I don't have much of a sexual appetite often. It comes and goes, sometimes I will be like a jackrabbit and other times it'll be six months before I can get in the mood. Obviously as you can tell it causes some strain on my relationship.
Honestly don't be bothered by not having had a relationship. When the time is right I'm sure you'll find you want one and you'll find someone to be with. Also in some ways you're probably not missing much lol.
Be glad you never turned to drugs, though |I know about emotional eating as my girlfriend suffered it wwhen her dad died and suffers it still sometimes. In a way its very similar to drugs, in that you feel you NEED to have it every time something happens. "Got a job? Yay celebrate with drugs/food" "Got dumped? better cheer yourself up with drugs/food" and it can be a bitch. I hope you've been able to get better yourself. As for myself, I can drink. I did have a bit of a problem for awhile where I was drinking every damn chance I could, and i would drink till 2 am and wake up at 5 am for work. It was bad. But I stopped for almost a year and now I can drink a few and quit, or have a night of drinking and then not touch it for another couple of weeks. The odd time after a long day of work ill have 2 or 3 beers on a very hot day, but I don't force myself to stay up drinking and I don't buy booze every time I pass the liquor store anymore. I believe I am able to manage it but not everyone can unfortunately. But it could be due to the meds I am on as well which help me feel better about myself so therefore lessen my want/need to have a drink?
But yes my daughter plays pokemon. I kinda forced it upon her. She had a ds and I had a 3ds and I told her if she wanted a 3ds she would have to save up( I had just bought her the ds for Christmas) so what I did was I bought her DSI off her for 40 bucks. Bought her Original DS( The very first one with a dim screen and scratched screen) because I wanted them for my collection. than when she had about 150 saved I took her to Eb games and said I would pay the difference, but after what I had already paid her for her ds's and the price of a new unit at the time I think I paid more than she did lol, but then |I was like You need to try pokemon, I used to LOVE IT and bought her Black. She did get hooked and and than got X after I got my Y and she beat it before me! Lol Yes I didn't much like the story in Y myself. But I am looking forward to Sun Moon. I think I am going to get Moon and get her Sun. But I don't know for sure yet.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
iamerror87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:07 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah don't worry I know she's a cunt. I try and avoid her as much as possible now.
Thank you for your words though, it is appreciated:)
80Eight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So you went to college right?
Helltb ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:30:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shit man. And I thought my life is hard.
iamerror87 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:14:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's all good man, I mostly said it in a joking way because they WERE common lies I was told by my mother. But shes mostly out of my life now and I have a family of my own.
loogie97 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:38:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry. No one should have to go though that.
Pain pills? Ive seen perfectly rational well intentioned human beings wrench their backs to become something they never would have been otherwise.
iamerror87 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:18:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, Crack. But she got me hooked on it myself when I was 14( I mean yeah I had a choice but she made it seem cool and like it was hard to get addicted, so when your own mother tells you that, you kind of would like to believe them right?) and I've suffered over the years with addictions myself, but I'm much better now and yeah I know all about what people can and will do for drugs in some circumstances.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:25:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's really surreal, having someone tell a story like yours. Because that's really sad, and here I am picturing that someone had to go through that. While I'm sitting here with a loving and chill mom. Idk that really sucks, glad that your life is better.
iamerror87 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:40:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Honestly, the stories of my life sound so unbelievable to even myself sometimes, so I mostly try not to tell them on the internet for fear of being called a liar.
An example is like, Mom and dad were divorced but got cancer around the same time. Mom survived but dad didn't, however my grandparents were on there way down to visit him on his deathbed when they were involved in an accident which killed my grandmother 8 hours before my dad died. My grandfather lived a few months longer.
I mean I have a hard time believing it myself sometimes.
But if it's any consolation, I really like my mother in law and have great talks and laughs with her and can talk to her for hours sometimes.(I'm a dude by the way so that may sound a bit weird but its true lol)
OrShUnderscore ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:59:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
your mom sounds like my mom except without drugs
iamerror87 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:24:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well aside from the drugs shes a narcissistic self serving bitch who doesn't work and leaches off EVERYONE. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have had her come and move in to a place I lived in with my girlfriend and daughter and just leach off of us. I mean I'm all about family first and shit but come on... Your kids are NOT supposed to be taking care of you until you grow old and unable to go anything for yourself.
Needless to say, shes been the reason a few of my relationships failed. but shes mostly gone from my life now, shes leaching off my grandfather now, and while I tried to help him, hes too scared of her to admit shes taking him for everything he has.
benjimaestro ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:45:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You may want to check out /r/raisedbynarcissists if you need any support or to vent (:
iamerror87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:33:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've been there a few times but mostly I just got angry that people could actually be that way to their kids and it reminded me a lot of my childhood which I didn't care much for. But I'll subscribe and maybe I'll come across something that might be healing for me.
Cheers:)
Vanetia ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:49:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. My mom was/still is an alcoholic. She took my money, too. She wasn't able to come up with any lies, though. Or didn't care to because she felt entitled to my money since she owns me as the parent. She'd just say she would pay me back and then didn't
I learned to keep any belongings I cared about at my dad's house.
iamerror87 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:11:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh in the later years she stopped making up lies and was the same way. I am sorry you had to go through that as well. Hope you're doing ok?
I just tried to not keep anything I cared about. Only one thing i lost that I really care about is a ring that my aunt gave me after my grandfather died. It belonged to him. She says one of her friends must have gone into my room to take it but I had it hidden and she knew where it was so...
Never did see that ring again though and I still hurt about it. But nothing I can do.
Vanetia ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:25:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doing very well. I cut her out completely a couple years ago now and the level of stress in my life dramatically dropped.
Sorry about your ring :(
iamerror87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I really wish I could cut her out completely, but I tried and she took me to court for visitation of my daughter( Well she actually wanted full custody but I wasn't about to allow that) and despite me telling the judge how she is as a person, the judge felt I should try and maintain a relationship with her because as the judge said "If you don't have a good relationship with your mother than your daughter won't have a good relationship with you."
I thought to myself "Yeah except I'll never put my daughter through what I went through".
So I agreed she could see her every other weekend for a few hours and that was it. But even in doing that my stress levels have dropped as well. As my lawyer said herself "Your mom seems to be the type of person who just loves to create drama everywhere she goes".
Vanetia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:16:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure I could have kept my mouth shut. That is infuriating.
Sorry you're stuck dealing with her. At least it's on a much more limited basis.
iamerror87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Trust me it took everything in my power to bite my tongue because if I said something like that in the court room then I may have looked like the asshole my mother was trying to present me as and didn't want to do ANYTHING to screw that up and let her win.
hemlock_martini ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:48:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i'm sorry you had to go through that.
iamerror87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:19:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's all good. I am much better now and shes gone out of my life for the most part. Thank you though.
admiralrads ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:58:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's pretty shitty when you have to hide your money as a kid. Getting told repeatedly "you must have misplaced it" when you knew it was stolen was infuriating.
nyvz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:37:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in my 20s and still suspecting my mom of taking my giant bag of change. And she still thinks that I don't know she used all mine and my siblings' college funds for when she was on drugs and remodeled the house we gave up on.
iamerror87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:13:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed it was. I was also told many times I must have taken it outside and lost it. I fucking KNOW I put it under my mattress mom.
But than after being told it so many times you start to wonder if you are losing your mind.
wildmaypop ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:47:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to look and see if this was my husband's account, nope. Too many kids have this childhood.
iamerror87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:07:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's very sad isn't it. I have met many folk who had similar lives as mine. It shouldn't be like that. When I left home I tried reporting her to CPS to save my brother and sister, but they went and investigated but lucky for that bitch, my uncle had JUST taken her out grocery shopping 2 days before( he would do this for us every couple months because mom never bought shit for the house) and so they seen the food in the house and the house was clean( we always had a clean house, so I guess that's one positive thing? Yay?) and just figured I was making shit up because I didn't want to live at home.
But I am doing much better now, My brother and sister survived(how I don't know) although they don't see the way she is "Narsisstic leach who wont do anything for herself and relies on everyone else to supply her with food shelter and money" so they still keep in touch with her, I actually avoid contacting her as much as possible, and in doing so she made ME out to be the bad guy so I don't talk to them now either unfortunately.
But I have a family of my own now and am much happier.
iamerror87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's very sad isn't it. I have met many folk who had similar lives as mine. It shouldn't be like that. When I left home I tried reporting her to CPS to save my brother and sister, but they went and investigated but lucky for that bitch, my uncle had JUST taken her out grocery shopping 2 days before( he would do this for us every couple months because mom never bought shit for the house) and so they seen the food in the house and the house was clean( we always had a clean house, so I guess that's one positive thing? Yay?) and just figured I was making shit up because I didn't want to live at home.
But I am doing much better now, My brother and sister survived(how I don't know) although they don't see the way she is "Narsisstic leach who wont do anything for herself and relies on everyone else to supply her with food shelter and money" so they still keep in touch with her, I actually avoid contacting her as much as possible, and in doing so she made ME out to be the bad guy so I don't talk to them now either unfortunately.
But I have a family of my own now and am much happier.
MinisTreeofStupidity ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:58:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I see you're someone who also knows the value of family.
Mainly that people who go on about the value of families have good ones, and not shit ones.
iamerror87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure if you meant to or not but this comment actually made me chuckle.
MinisTreeofStupidity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was meant to make you chuckle, but it's mostly dark humor there, and far too much truth!
iamerror87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:08:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You've got that right.
_shandril_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:12:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your stories are so sad. I am sorry.
iamerror87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:39:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, Its all good now. She's out of my life for the most part now and I rarely have to deal with her shit anymore and I have a family of my own now.
I didn't really mean to upset anyone by telling them though, they were just common lies told by my mom and I guess half jokingly I was just trying to keep with the thread. Honestly didn't think it would blow up like this.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:34:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This actually made me cry
iamerror87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry I made you cry, if its any consolation, I am doing much better now have a family of my own with 2 kids and shes gone out of my life for the most part.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No you're perfectly fine. It just made me emotional. I'm glad you're okay now
UpvotesForLaughs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:58:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm normally nice but I'd break all her nice shit before moving out.
iamerror87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:17:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao I would have but she didn't have nice things. The only thing of value she had was MY computer which I got from some sort of school program thing for poor kids or something. She took it and set it up in her room because my cousin introduced her to yahoo chatting and webcams and shit and she met many many guys off of the internet. So one day I got pissed about it and smashed the hell out of the keyboard, but she made me buy a new one. It was INFURIATING
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
iamerror87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:21:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry that happened to you. Hope all is better now though. I didn't bother much with work because I knew where my money would go anyway so it wasn't worth the bother at the time. But in high school I babysat but put the money right in my bank account so she couldn't touch it. Though she did steal the card once and called me asking what the pin was because she ran out of gas. Next thing I knew I was missing 100 bucks.
leavingNYCtoday ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:39:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry I can't imagine the pain your heart went thru. hugs
iamerror87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's all good now friend. I am in a much better position in life. I am happy now. But thank you very much. hugs back
FerretHydrocodone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:49:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why was your mom stealing your gameboys and money if you have valuable things all around your house such as TV's??
iamerror87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:28:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The gameboy thefts were in the later years of her addiction after all the fancy shit was sold. But when she stole my money it was because it was easier to steal my money and pick up drugs than to try and find someone who wanted to buy a pure marble dining room table. Or some funky statues we had. We only had the really fancy stuff for about 2 or 3 years. I explained in another comment how she obtained those things by the way,she worked for her boyfriends moms magazine selling ads. but instead of taking payment in cheques form she would take product. Because she wouldn't be able to cash cheques written out to the magazine.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:55:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/raisedbynarcisscists ?
iamerror87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:42:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Subscribed just a few minutes ago. :)
Red_Billson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I know this one! The funny thing about addicts isn't so much that they tend to live in a polluted reality, but the pollution actually spills out and can infect other realities!
For example, my stepfather would frequently, miraculously, "find" rent moneys just in the nick of time (on a sidewalk, in some bushes etc). He'd also "figure a way" to fix things that broke (things that people loved to use, like games, cars). He'd find out who broke into the house and sold things that belonged to everyone other than him, and he'd deal with that person. We were so lucky to have him, and my mother would be overcome with relief when he'd 'save the day'.
He removed and hid my mothers rent money, he sabotaged her car and our belongings, he robbed us, he created an atmosphere of fear with staged robberies and he did all this to keep himself in control. The depths of depravity are matched very nicely by despots around the world.
I have control issues as well, as an adult. I wonder how that happened.
iamerror87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah the asshole goof my mom was with during this time was similar in some ways but was a reeal asshole with me and hit on me all the damn time. But she wouldn't do anything because he would be holding the drugs or whatever fucking reason it was for that particular day.
I mean it got to the point where when I was ten I tried to stab him with a fucking kitchen knife. I mean my daughter is ten now and I could NEVER EVER IMAGINE her even having 1/100th of the amount of hate I had at ten, because she is such a chill child. a 10 year old kid should not hate his parents that much, if at all. I mean yeah kids get mad cause there parents didn't buy them things.
I still have anger issues myself and for the longest time had trouble controlling my temper and would punch first and think after. It was only in the last couple years that I've FINALLY gotten a lot better and would sooner bite my tongue and walk away rather than flip out. I too also suffered from control issues for awhile but I started realizing I was turning into the one person I despised to much in my life, which led to depression and... well you must know that depression doesn't really end up anywhere good.
But I am still going to therapy and I guess I am finally getting better. Having the kids helped me calm down a lot too.
Red_Billson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:13:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm really glad you're feeling better and breaking the cycle.
iamerror87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Trying to anyway, for a long time it didn't seem like I was going to, since I went down my own path of destruction even after my daughter was born. The more I did it the more I hated myself for what I was doing and therefore with the self hate came more self destruction. But I am super glad to be out of all of that now.
But how about yourself? Are you doing okay?
Oakshror ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:20:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are better off than me, from my standpoint you are doing pretty damn well
iamerror87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly I think I just got real lucky. The house and property were dirt cheap and its mortgaged so its not like we technically own it out right, but FWIW its pretty near the same thing IMO. Honestly the cost of mortgage plus insurance is cheaper than just rent even in my area of the country which is on the cheaper end of rental cost.
But I'm sure you'll get yours someday. You just need to find out what you want and work towards achieving that goal. Yeah yeah I know that sounds cheesy and cliche as all get out but honestly it really is true.
If you're unhappy with things and life in general, If you are able too, try and see a therapist or something. I went through a few until I found one I really liked (Canada so we don't pay for visits to the doctors and stuff like that) and it has helped me a great deal.
I don't really know your situation though so I can't really offer much more advise then that, but if you want to talk feel free to PM me if you'd like.
Ghastlygherkin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:20:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aw dude, my Mum slipped into alcoholism the last few years before I left home so I feel you. My younger siblings got it worse as they stayed in the family home longer.
My Dad would limit the money my Mum could use but she'd just nick it from her kids.
Addiction is an evil affliction but it always stems from a dark place or time in your life. So knowing what she went through as a little girl, why she drank. It wasn't an excuse just an explanation, but an explanation that helped me during counseling.
She's been sober 3 years now and if you ever met her now you'd think she is the sweetest most loving mother.
iamerror87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah knowing what my mom went through as a child did allow me to try and forgive her but then I realized, shes just a toxic person in general. Knowing how she is now, I realize she would have done it with or without the drugs honestly. She just lies, cheats and steals her way through life. My other aunts went through the same shit and they aren't anything like her her.
But as for your mom, I am very glad she got better :)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:45:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
iamerror87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly the whole shebang was $70,000 on a mortgage. I could never afford to buy out right. So if you want to get technical the bank owns it, but in reality id say most people who "Own" Homes are just mortgaging as well. Hell I've read about actual rich people who mortgage too. They don't want to tie their own money up in it for whatever reason so they use the banks money.
But as it stands now after bills and groceries and shit we don't usually have more than a couple hundred every couple weeks for a family of four for leisure like video games, going to the movies, zoo, whatever (I got laid off last year from a full time job and am working part time while trying to get something going on my own so money is tight for the moment). So yeah like I said, not rich by any means.
And yeah I guess we could sell the house and property and come out on top, but it wouldn't be very much so, while we may have some assets, its only money on paper.
Recoveringfrenchman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:45:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about you, but I had terrible spending habits because of shit like that. If I had money my mom would "borrow" it. Never mind the odds and ends she would pawn off. I learned early to spend it while I can, or I won't get a chance to enjoy it.
iamerror87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, I suck with money for the most part. One time a few years ago I started hiding money in a book to save it, but then my ex girlfriend would take it out to take her ex husband out to lunch at mcdonalds and go shopping and shit. So I am terrible with money, even saving the down payment for the house was helleven between me and my girlfriend(her mom was a gambling addict so I guess that's where she gets her poor spending habits too now that I think about it) but we managed it finally. We're getting better though although it seems every time we get a little saved, some repair comes up and its gone again.
DeadDay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:49:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only had a few moments where my mom would pawn some random thing of mine for pills, telling me we needed for bills and my Dad would have to get it out on payday. Sorry you had to go through shittiness but I bet it made a person who inspires others like crazy. Keep on keeping on dude.
iamerror87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for that.:) I will do so. I try and be a good person now and be a good dad to my kids. I know I fuck up sometimes but I'll do everything in my power to give them the life I never had, although it's hard not to spoil them sometimes, which I know
iscan be a bad thing lol if I don't teach them the proper morals and what not.I'm sorry you had to go through it too though, no matter if its a little or a lot it still hurts and confuses the shit out of us when we're kids. Glad your dad was there to help out though. Is your mom better now?
DeadDay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She's wonderful! She wound up going to rehab and turned towards smoking more hippie cigs to ease transition and beat it! Now she comes to visit all the time and works her ass off. Parents are still together and we keep knocking addictions out of the park.
I'm glad to hear you're doing so well after all that and glad to hear back from you. You're going to be a big game changer for a lot of people in your life, keep kicking ass!
tripletstate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:51:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your Mom is a psychopathic narcissist.
iamerror87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:59:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know? I've been trying to tell people this for a few years now ( It took me a LONG fucking time to actually fully come to that realization, as I left when I was 16 and knew she was a psychopath, but when I had my first daughter she sort of weaseled her way back into my life and I actually believed she did change. ) But no one else sees it. Well at least no one in my family and none of her friends see it. Even my Mother in Law wanted to believe she was a good person for a few years despite what I told her, but she finally seen the truth too.
Charlie351b ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend who had a savings account that she and her family had been contributing to so she could go to college. When she graduated from high school and was looking at colleges, her mom told her "The bank made a mistake and they lost all your money." My friend lost around $6k. Her mom had spent it over the years, getting expensive hair cuts, facials, massages, ect.
iamerror87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:15:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shit that sucks, I am sorry to hear that. That REALLY sucks, as she was already looking for colleges knowing that she had(or was supposed to have had anyway) money stored away and then to find out its not there.
Does she know her mom spent it though? Like did she figure it out or did you just find out through the grapevine.
Charlie351b ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She pretty much figured it out. Here mom was a single mom, and didn't make a huge salary. She wouldn't have been able to afford the luxury spa days, massages, and $200 hair cuts on her own. Plus the rest of the fam who had contributed to her saving account was pissed too. I mean, the excuse saying "the bank lost your money, sorry, there's nothing we can do" is obviously complete BS.
brettf123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
fist bumps addict kids for the win right? We end up tough
iamerror87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That we do. fist bumps but I had to laugh at the "addict kids for the win part though lol. Just the thought of some rag tag sports team called addicts kids who band together like the mighty ducks movie or something
brettf123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahahaha XD and it's totally unexpected since their parents pawn all their equipment for a fix... this could be a movie
Gamerred_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:27:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I feel sorry for you. Sometimes I think I have a bad mom but even though she's kind of dumb and has a temper she's still a good parent. Ya she screams and yells at me and takes away my stuff temporarily (and constantly) she still just wants me to be a good, not spoiled kid.
Glad to see your mom didn't stop you from enjoying life :).
iamerror87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah no need to feel sorry for me. It was what it was and I can't change that, I can only come out either better or worse for it, but in my case I came out better.
IMO and this is strictly based on what you wrote, because I don't know about you or your mom, but by the way you describe her she does sound like a good mom. If anything it reminds me of how I am with my daughter now (Shes 10 right now so getting into her teenage rebellion stuff). She is only trying to do whats best for you and sometimes it may seema bit excessive but you can't let that change your feelings towards her. Just remember when she does that its only out of love.\
Now again I don't know how things really are so they could actually be different for you, But I sure hope not for your sake.
Thank you for your message though :)
Gamerred_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No she definitely is looking out for me( Really struggling with the whole sport bike battle) That's how she was raised, in a more harsh way. While she doesn't hit me or anything she definitely believes being absolutely stern is the way to go. However in a decent amount of situations I don't think it's the best way to go.
But what do I know. I'm just 14 so I'm probably wrong in a lot of things lol.
100liam100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fucking shit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Neat username.
iamerror87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As is yours friend. hahaha
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey dude, it just says
"I am an alt, error".
iamerror87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:57 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bwahah. Yeah I'll bet it does :p
superpotato20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn dude, that fucking sucks, I hope you're doing ok now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least you had a gameboy... EDIT: and im not joking.
brberg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that took a dark turn. I thought she just wanted you to put the GameBoy away and go to sleep.
just_had_2_comment ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
um, are you my ex?
iamerror87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I unno, what country?
AWildAnonHasAppeared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ man. /r/raisedbynarcissists
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How do you own a house with college loans at 29? Do you live in the middle of nowhere or make a stupid amount of money?
iamerror87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Middle of nowhere, 20 minutes to town on either side of me. No college loans. I didn't get to go to college(yet).
Stickyjargon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:14:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Marshall mathers?..
Fatburger3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As much as that is a terrible terrible thing to happen to you, it's better than having parents who spoil you and try to make you into their idea of a perfect child. You are probably a much stronger person as a result.
iamerror87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:00:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, in a way I am glad for the life I had. I didn't really go into too much detail as i just listed off the lies she told me, but there was always some sort of bullshit or another going on, so I ran away/left home at 16. Living on the streets was better than living with her, and in doing so I grew up quick I suppose and I am now 29, own a house and have kids of my own.
But then I look back at my one very good friend( never had a chance to have many) who was an only child and spoiled(spoilt?) like crazy, and he is now living off welfare because "Fuck the government, I hate them so I am going to take everything I can from them". In reality I think it is because he was NEVER made to do ANYTHING he didn't want to do so therefore, now he doesn't want to work and so he doesn't. He was never taught that sometimes in life you just have to do things you don't want.
gogomom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Addiction is such a bitch. I hope she got some help.
iamerror87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not really, while I don't believe she is using anymore at the moment, shes still the same narcissistic bitch she always was even during the brief times she was off the drugs. Sadly she will never change. I avoid her as much as possible now.
gogomom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry that was your childhood experience. I'm glad things have turned out well for you in the long run.
iamerror87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, I appreciate that.:)
[deleted] ยท 683 points ยท Posted at 13:15:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Kafkaesque92 ยท 458 points ยท Posted at 14:02:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually really like my mom's meatloaf. I've never understood why people don't like it until I tried meatloaf my mom didn't make. Not even remotely the same.
Tsquare43 ยท 111 points ยท Posted at 15:31:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I came home from college for a visit, I'd always want the meatloaf my Dad made. That was the best ever. Meatloaf rocks.
wil3y ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:16:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you ever find yourself in Columbus, Ohio, stop into Cap City Diner and get their meatloaf. It is by far the best meatloaf I've ever had, and I love me some meatloaf.
KrakenSnatch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was reading these meatloaf comments and thinking about how good it sounds. I live east of Columbus. I've never heard of the place youre talking about. Where is it located?
wil3y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:24:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's in Columbus off of 315. Basically on the corner of Olentangy River Rd and King Ave. Go there, get the meatloaf.
parrotpeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Meatloaf with gravy turns me into a senior citizen asking for their "Blue Plate Special!"
DasJuden63 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:23:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For the longest time, I freaking loved my dad's meatloaf. Then I got married and my wife made me some...
Holy fucking shit, I nearly came in my pants it was so much better.
Tsquare43 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funny thing, I loved Dad's meatloaf, my sister loved mom's baked chicken - that is the meal we both wanted when we came home.
But I make a damn good meatloaf now!
CamDMC ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 16:01:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
He's a sub-par fat pile of sweat..
Edit: Bring on the downvotes. How did Meatloaf even make a single hit?
PastorWhiskey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:14:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wat
metastasis_d ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:20:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bob has bitch tits.
Tsquare43 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
gave you the upvote, cause sometimes people just don't get it.
but that was funny...
slimkt ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:15:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly! In cartoons when kids were like, "Meatloaf?! Blegh!" I always thought, "The fuck? I love meatloaf!" But then I had meatloaf at a friend's house and thought, "Fuck, no wonder they hate it!"
Zardif ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:05:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother's meatloaf is literally egg 93% ground beef and rice with ketchup on top. No salt no spices. It's generally very dry and not good. I had meatloaf prepared by someone else at a restaurant and I was blown away, it was delicious moist and had more complexity than just beef. Now I'm older I've come to realize my mother is a bad/lazy cook.
saikron ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:53:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are we trying to turn groceries into food here or just sterilize it before eating it?
totomaya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:44:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom's meatloaf is the same, to this day I've never had good meatloaf.
tarrasque ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:47:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom's meatloaf is also absolutely terrible. I was 25 before I realized that it wasn't an across the board disgusting food. My mother in law's meatloaf is freakin delicious.
AbortRetryImplode ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same here...I dreaded meatloaf growing up because egg, ketchup, beef and rice with the sparsest sprinkling of dried onion flakes is vile. This is still what I think of when I think of meatloaf. My fiancee keeps offering to make it for me and I keep doing the culinary equivalent of "Look, what's that over there!" and think up some surprise to cook for him. Maybe I'll finally bite the bullet and give it a shot.
Zardif ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would say season it well and don't go by a recipe from the 70s find something from a modern celebrity chef and it'll probably be alright.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:27:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dont get why people find it gross or weird. Its literally meat in loaf form. Like bread, but beef, or whatever meat they choose.
I love my mom's meatloaf so once i was in a hospital and they brought me that randomly for dinner. It was gray and covered in a 2 inch puddle of ketchup
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:54:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Meatloaf for me has always meant a super watery and bland dinner
Edit: Why downvotes? I'm not saying all meatloaf has been bad, just that my family is bad at making it.
codyneo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:02:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WTF, Meatloaf shouldn't be watery
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:22:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well they don't put water in it. It's just that... I guess all the juices come out of the meat? I don't know, but it's not good.
codyneo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:28:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is why a binder is used, breadcrumbs, crackers, rice or oatmeal. They absorb the juices. It should solid but still fan be cut with a fork.
QuickBowROTMG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad makes a wonderful meatloaf that he covers the top with bacon and its delicious. Actually eating some tonight :D
gsfgf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now I'm craving meatloaf...
QuickBowROTMG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same o.O Have you ever eaten cold meatloaf? I do it when I am too lazy too heat it up and I might go grab some o.O
jgandfeed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
meatloaf sandwiches (obviously with ketchup, you cant eat meatloaf without ketchup)
QuickBowROTMG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of bread do you use? I only have thin sliced white bread right now and I don't think it would do it justice.
SphericalBasterd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's nothing wrong with using "freedom" bread and Velveeta for your meatloaf sandwich.
QuickBowROTMG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:25:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think I have velveeta, is mac and cheese good? Don't know when I can do this lol. School starts tomorrow and parents probably wont approve XD
SphericalBasterd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Meatloaf smothered in mac'n'cheese? Sounds good to me..
jgandfeed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
whatever generic sliced bread is around. something like 12 grain or oat nut probably
MRiddickW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cold meatloaf sandwich with mayo on soft bread, but the meatloaf has to have been made with the ketchup/mustard/sugar topping.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:01:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom never made meatloaf. I'm twenty and I've never had any meatloaf. I feel like I'm missing some big part of my childhood.
quaid4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:13:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's literally a giant cooked hamburger patty. How can so many people fu k it up so hard?
ChristophColombo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:34:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's a hell of a lot more to good meatloaf than that.
Source: I make a badass meatloaf.
sarcasticorange ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a lot of friends as a child that came to the realization after eating at our house that meatloaf wasn't bad, their mom's just couldn't cook.
Ashkela ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom's meatloaf was literally a pound of ground beef with ketchup poured on top of it, then microwaved.
Joetato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Meatloaf is best loaf.
Seriously, I love that stuff.
TheSlothFather ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love my dad's meatloaf because instead of ketchup, which is the worst condiment ever made, he uses regular brown gravy, which is delicious.
wooptyfrickindoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same here, meatloaf is my favorite from it being so good growing up. Whenever my mom is cooking for us and asks what I'd want I always say meatloaf haha. Confused me when I found out so many people hate it because they said it was so awful growing up. Seems like a really hard dish to fuck up, I make it all the time now.
MagicalCMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha me too. My mom's meatloaf game is strong.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
so is it not flavorless hamburger with a layer of dried ketchup on top?
kairisika ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom made good meatloaf when I finally convinced her to stop before she added the onions and roll a third of it into an onionless one for me and my onion-hating brother before adding onions to everyone else's. Then it was awesome!
Mazetron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is such a bad cook she's burned quesadillas. My dad is a much better cook, but he worked all the time so I grew up on my mom's terrible cooking anyway.
burgersnstuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My great grandmother had a somewhat secret recipe for meatloaf (that the family also knows.) She made it for a youth group dinner and at first they were reluctant to eat it, but they ate all three of the pans she made.
Just_A_Member ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, at least your mothers make meatloaf..
countryboy002 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had the opposite experience, I thought meatloaf was horrible until my wife made it the first time. It turns out it's not supposed to be as dry as the Sahara and burnt on the bottom. Now it's one of my favorite meals.
parrotpeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The difference is onion soup. It's not even something that takes so much tender care, just treating it as more than just a lump of meat on a pan.
owningmclovin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dads meat loaf is basically spaghetti sauce with one big meat ball. Much better than my moms
FuffyKitty ยท 243 points ยท Posted at 15:17:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Truth, my mom IS a bad cook.
"You love lasagna right?"
Yes mom I do, but lasagna isn't typically only 2 layers, where half of it is crunchy, with barely enough sauce to keep it from drying out, next to no cheese and green peppers instead of meat.
I straight-up bring food when my mom hosts something, otherwise we'd go hungry.
keepupwitcardassians ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:27:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad did the cooking in our household because my mother is a bad cook. When he started working later shifts when I was 11 or so, I ended up learning how to cook because I was legitimately afraid she'd burn the house down (I distinctly remember a pot of water she left boiling on the stove so long it caught fire). She would start making something, wander off and forget about it, and then be surprised that everything was overcooked and/or on fire.
FuffyKitty ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:39:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Rofl. Yeah, my mom is exactly the same. There is a running joke that the first set of biscuits she cooks are the "test biscuits" because she always puts them in, then gets distracted and burns them.
Every time without fail.
We all use to have a fear of meat sauces as well. She would take meat that was almost bad, brown it, have it sit in the fridge for a while, then cover it in pasta sauce and use it on pasta. It makes me ill just thinking about it. It took me a while to stop scraping the sausage out of lasagna at restaurants because of her. We'd rather starve than eat any pasta at relatives homes thinking it would be the same too.
ClimateMom ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:18:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is a pretty good cook, but her mom is terrible. I still remember the time she found a $50 piece of King salmon that my mom had bought, put it in the oven at 500 degrees, and set the timer for 30 minutes. Mom made me stroll through the kitchen every two minutes so I could rescue that fish before it got charred into oblivion.
GAGirlChild ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:21:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So, did you rescue the fish? And was it okay? Because I'm hurting very bad at the thought of this.
ClimateMom ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:29:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did, yeah. Don't worry! We're just lucky Mom noticed what Grandma had done before it was already too late.
GAGirlChild ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:39:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh good, I am so relieved!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ClimateMom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:06:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My grandma grew up poor during the Great Depression, so on top of her preference for meat and seafood that's mostly charcoal, she buys the cheapest of everything and won't throw anything away. For example, my grandfather makes homemade bread that would be amazing, except that it's always bitter from using rancid flour. They also have spices in their cabinet that are older than my mother, who is going on 60.
Chloe_Zooms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my gosh that is the WORST. I had to buy herbs to stay at my boyfriends because MIL's idea of a roast was a plain chicken, boiled potatoes, and peas.
battraman ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:35:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom trained to be a pastry chef and later became a cake baker and decorator. She can bake anything. She can't cook for shit. I'm in my 30s and only now learning that some foods aren't disgusting: it's just my mom's cooking that's disgusting.
starsandtime ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:42:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I will never understand why people remain bad cooks all their lives when it so easy to do a little research and NOT be a bad cook. Cooking isn't hard; you make it hard.
baconnmeggs ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:53:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because they think they are wonderful cooks. You can't fix a problem if you won't admit to having the problem in the first place
FuffyKitty ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:12:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. I was a kid in the 80's, so unless you got a book, you didn't know any better. But now you can find recipes ANYWHERE.
Gluttony4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:19:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some people are just willfully ignorant of their problems.
My mother insisted that everyone loved her cooking. Everyone would complain about it, and every single time they'd be told they didn't know what they were talking about. Everyone else loved my mother's cooking (according to my mother herself), so clearly the person complaining about it was wrong.
She'd rather be skilled in her own mind than admit she needed to improve, and actually possibly become a skilled cook in real life.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:21:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother in law is a pretty bad cook. One time she offered to make enchiladas, and I was super excited to eat them until I realized she used salsa instead of enchilada sauce.
She's a lovely person in every other way though. We have thanksgiving at her house, but we cook the food.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:32:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my MIL is the same. It might have something to do with her poor childhood so she tries to make everything out of the cheapest ingredients she can find and replace stuff in food if she's lacking something.
She has made us "pizza" with only ketchup and frozen corn on top.
Once we brought her 1kg of minced meat to make a sauce out of it for all 6 of us to be eaten with potatoes (very Finnish traditional food everyone should know how to make). She ended up using only 200g of meat and decided to freeze the rest for later and boiled one potato for each one of us. The rest of the sauce was just boiled water.
No one has the heart to say her anything, though, because it seems to be an honor for her to make food for us. I usually end up losing weight all the time we visit her.
FuffyKitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oooh see, I'm a baddie like that too. I've used salsa, I need to stop that. I had a lot of terrible eating habits from my mom, but also my dad. He doesn't even like cheese, so no pizza, EVER. I never had your typical Italian, Chinese, Mexican, Indian f, etc, food until I was staying out of the house around 19.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:18:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like salsa too! Im a huge fan of almost all Mexican food. It was just the thing where I was expecting the bite to taste like enchiladas, and it was more like a Mexican Pizza.
Who doesn't like cheese?!? That's too far, dad.
FuffyKitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I think when he was a kid, he must have gotten some bad cheese, like bad bad, not brie or something like that. He thinks any cheese is disgusting, and views pizza as a disgusting snack.
Edit: Not that brie is bad, just thinking of what a kid might think is 'bad' had they come across it.
tree_hugging_hippie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Brie is delicious if you prep it right.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sad :(.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How dare you say that about Brie.
FuffyKitty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:37:36 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Heh I just couldn't think of a 'fancy' cheese that might be an acquired taste that he may have run into. They were poor so there's no way that would have happened.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, I understand what you're saying now. I thought you were calling fancy cheeses bad.
FuffyKitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:34:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah my bad, I just couldn't imagine where someone would get a hatred for cheese as a child with the usual cheddar, American, and mozzarella kids usually get.
Tahmatoes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he's lactose intolerant.
wooptyfrickindoo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:08:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Oh god that is my aunts lasagna exactly but she uses ground beef. There is never any sauce it's basically a pasta cake burned to a crisp with black cheese on top. If hell served food it would be on the menu. She thinks she's such an amazing cook but she only cooks like 3 times a year (and it's always the same thing, lasagna lol). She brings it every thanksgiving, easter, and christmas and if no one takes a piece (we always have a buffet type setup) she will pick up the dish and literally put a piece on our plates while we're eating. Then we all have to eat it and look happy doing it to make her feel good and not seem rude. Then she will make us take it home with our leftovers haha. Each piece is like a lead hockey puck, it's sooo bad.
FuffyKitty ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:38:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god.
Mom: Want to take some food home?
Me: No (oh god no) no, that's ok thanks
wooptyfrickindoo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:54:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I only take it home because I'm forced to because "Take it it's deliciousss!"... but my dog likes it so there's that, hahaha. At least it doesn't go to waste.
FuffyKitty ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:37:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lucky, there was some food my mom use to cook that we'd drop under the table for the dog, and even she wouldn't eat it.
wooptyfrickindoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:29:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It must have been pretty bad then since many dogs will eat cat poop, rotten garbage, etc. hahaha.
MagicalCMonster ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:06:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My MIL can ruin anything. My husband once said he liked perogies, and spent nearly a lifetime eating hot perogy mush. She boils them until they fall apart and all the potato filling is in the water, and what you get served is really just perogy dough.
We tend to go out for dinner with her, and when we have to be there for holidays, we ALWAYS choose ham because it's harder to fuck up. (Harder, not impossible)
FuffyKitty ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:10:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like my dad, when he makes pasta, which is only spaghetti, he boils it (and noodle soup for that matter) for twice as long as recommended.
My mom also took the veggie and bits of chicken (from the bones) from a broth I was simmering for hours, and used it to make a soup she actually ate. I was kind of grossed out.
tossinthisshit1 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:42:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"i'll make a burger that's better than mcdonalds"
"...better than mcdonalds?"
ejeebs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let's be honest though, that burger sounds a hell of a lot better than McDonald's, white bread bun and all.
thisvideoiswrong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kind of a pet peeve, why do people think they can just put peppers in anything? Both green and red peppers have extremely strong flavors, sure, you can make good things with either or both, but you have to go into it knowing that they're going to be a huge part of the flavor. If you want to just add some vegetable bulk use mild squashes or beans, not something that strong. Still better than the random raw onions though, those are really disgusting and make my parents sick.
FuffyKitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly! I asked what on earth she was thinking and I think she said it was in the sauce like that, which I doubt. If I can't bring food to her house, I eat before and then fill my plate sparingly.
hellorhighwaterice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I learned how to cook because my Step-Mom is such a terrible cook. Her and my dad thought I was trying to do something nice for them when I was home on college breaks but the truth was I would rather spend an hour cooking than eat what she would cook.
kkaavvbb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
... So I married a chef. And my mum came to visit me last October (she was helping with my kiddo after I had surgery) and I wanted her to make lasagna.
Turns out, my favorite meal/special meal as kid, is not so impressive as an adult (I lived in NYC for a few years and now NJ, where Italian food is abundant). I'll never tell her that but man. It really needs more flavor.
kittencuddleparty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:53 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my mom makes hers the same way minus the peppers...it's so gross yet she thinks she's an amazing cook
Chloe_Zooms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why do moms always compliment their bad cooking so much?
All my inlaws sit around the table going MMMM MMM YUMMY YUM, when I have cooked nicer stuff playing the 'cook with what you can find in the cupboard' game...
MissAnneStanton ยท 203 points ยท Posted at 13:57:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude I fucking love my mom's meatloaf. Meatloaf is incredible and my mom aces that shit. If it was the cooking Olympics she's the goddamn Michael Phelps of goddamn fucking loaves of meat.
AbyssKnightArtorias ยท 133 points ยท Posted at 14:41:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So she wins 19 gold medals and then is shamed for smoking the reefer?
[deleted] ยท 99 points ยท Posted at 15:42:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
somewhere_in_VT ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:45:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dopeloaf
PhoenyxStar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I see what you did there... * updoots *
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yo get the updoots
jadraxx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:42:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
... who cares? She's stoned... meatloaf...
29100610478021 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was he really shamed, though? I thought it brought him upto hero status
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:04:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom makes a mean meatloaf. Also great spaghetti with her sauce from scratch.
Way to go mom
LazyTheSloth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:35:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At first I reed that as sauce from crotch. Was confused and grossed out.
BackflippingHamster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like the "feminist" that made sourdough from her vag yeast.
minusthedrifter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Please tell me you're joking.
BackflippingHamster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[Nope](www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a49894/yeast-infection-sourdough-bread/). I'm not joking.
LazyTheSloth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:32:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is absolutely fucking disgusting.
LeavesCat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:43:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The mothers with legitimately good meatloaf generally don't brag about it.
messy_eater ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:03:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, phrasing!
DrDisastor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:12:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I want to eat that meat cake like groceries.
QTBee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Any chance your mother is willing to share the recipe? I've had good and bad meatloaf made by others, but I'm not sure what differentiated them recipe-wise so I'm cautious about trying to make it myself.
MissAnneStanton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll ask and let you know!
syriquez ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:41:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Look up "Falscher Hase recipes" on Google and go from there, picking whichever variation you happen to like the most. German-style meatloafs are the correct choice. That's the way my mother always makes meatloaf (very, very German parents) and it's amazing. Other meatloafs are an insult to the name.
Lostsonofpluto ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:17:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom makes it 2 parts beef to 1 part pork, mixes in cheese and puts bacon on top
The_Signed_Horse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly! It's literally a LOAF of MEAT! How can anyone not like that?!
MissAnneStanton ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:51:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The name alone is tantalizing enough
totomaya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom's meatloaf is disgusting. The only food she's ever made that I've liked was her Mexican food. And she isn't even Mexican. But her white people food is gross.
thegapinglotus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother has never once attempted meatloaf. I thank her for that. Meatloaf is scary.
tangoewhisky ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:57:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Phrasing...
Darth_drizzt_42 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:16:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Meanwhile I'm this close to selling my mom's meatloaf to the DoD as body armor.
vengeance_pigeon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:51:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is a decent cook, but she is way too timid about spices and seasonings, so I've gotten to where I make most of her recipes better than she does. >_>
I'll never tell her, though.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:22:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is a lifelong smoker and I think she's killed all her tastebuds. She dumps a cup of salt into everything.
Aperture_Kubi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ditto. When I started cooking for myself I realized just how bland everything she cooked was. About the only spice she would use was garlic salt.
I think everyone just complimented her cooking as it was novelty compared to everything else. Asian style foods in Texas, yeah.
syriquez ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:38:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Your mother is a bad cook. Meatloaf, done correctly, is the most delicious substance on the planet.
You need the old school German-styled meatloaf that's wrapped in bacon and has tons of onion in it. Add in some Worcestershire sauce when you're mixing it up (which breaks it away from the traditional German style admittedly) and you've got a great meal.
FUCK the other style that's basically a hunk of baked ground beef unceremoniously slathered with ketchup.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love meatloaf just to clarify. My uncle makes great meatloaf.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:43:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good meatloaf is awesome. Good meatloaf, however, does not involve ketchup.
GallantChaos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is not true. Following this recipe will yield the best meatloaf I've ever had, if you add some more ketchup on top before you put it in the oven. Good meatloaf just doesn't involve post-baking ketchup.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What meat is meatloaf?
I always imagine is the shit quality meat mushed together. I can see that it is kind of like sausage meat.
syriquez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It kind of is like sausage in a way. It's generally ground meat smucked into a loaf (using egg and bread crumbs or crushed crackers for stability) and then baked. The ground meat can be beef, pork, or in some cases a mixture of the two.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought it was chub.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
meatloaf scares me. I have meatloafobia
ArmouredPolarBear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Moma's meatloaf aint nothing to hate on. Topped with ketchup sauce, so dam good.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
wooptyfrickindoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds great! Sometimes I use stove top stuffing mix.
SphericalBasterd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or bacon flavored Ritz Crackers.
SolidCake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn I feel bad for you. Good meatloaf is fucking amazing
But yeah bad meatloaf is inedible. There's no middle ground.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe she wasn't talking about her food...
ManicLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother just cannot make recipes work. It's like she has an unnatural talent to fuck food up.
I really hated her soups, and I always told her. So when I turned 14ish she asked me if I seriously didn't like them. I said "100%"
She refused to believe me.
GAGirlChild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom's meatloaf and twice-baked potatoes is one of my favorite meals. And she's makes some humdingers of meals. So yes, I would regretfully say your mom is probs just a bad cook.
TinusTussengas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like my mom. Nice Side effect is that I can process just about all food even if it has gone off.
MisterDarcyType ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that spapeggy and meatballs, tho
Tommy2255 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was a terrible cook. Luckily, I learned how to cook from my dad.
expatToNZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
meatloaf with stuffed boiled eggs wrapped in bacon is the only way to do it
adudeguyman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a euphemism for her lady parts?
s317sv17vnv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even worse is when you have to tell her you like her cooking because she gets irrationally angry or upset otherwise, and as a result she keeps cooking terrible food because she thinks everyone loves it.
OddTheViking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom cooked bad meatloaf and really really bad beef roast. She cooked the roast until it was dry and completely gray.
I never even thought meatloaf COULD be good until I was a teen and had some at a friends house. I didn't know roast beef could be good until I was 18 and at a wedding reception.
To be fair, mom did have a couple of dishes she did that were awesome.
jpallan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother was a bad cook, too. Nothing in her house was edible, and I grew up surviving on cold cereal. She tried to cook, but you don't scramble eggs in a microwave and you don't need to cook meat until you can suck it through a straw.
She died last week, suddenly and unexpectedly. I would do anything to suffer through one more plate of those fucked-up scrambled eggs.
DragonDeadite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love a good meatloaf, but my mother could never make one. I always thought it would be so hard to make because I always heard about how bad other people's meatloaf is so I was afraid to try and make my own!
Until recently when I decided to give it a shot... holy shit is it not only SUPER EASY to make, it is SUPER FUCKING EASY to make GOOD!
Brave_Horatius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good meatloaf is amazing. Do yourself a favour and try a good recipe
tripletstate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How do you fuck up meatloaf?
grubas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum can cook about 7 dishes, but God help you if you hide her index cards. None of them are amazing. Meanwhile I don't use many directions, worked in kitchens and I can whip up stuff that has my dad licking his plate. I made my version of some of her dishes and she was incessant trying to figure out what I did and the exact amount of herbs and spices I used. Even I don't know, measuring while cooking isn't my thing, this isn't baking.
Gluttony4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother said everyone loved her grape jelly meatball... things.
I didn't find out until years later, from Reddit, that what she was cooking was actually a real thing and not some abomination she'd devised. Pretty good stuff. She was just going FAR too heavy on the grape. Like: Meatballs in Jello levels of too-heavy.
supershinythings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother was, and still is, a HORRIBLE cook. She removes all the fat and everything that makes food taste good because it's 'bad for you'. Then she wonders why it doesn't taste the same.
She never understood the whole 'eat smaller portions' concept. She didn't trust us or herself to do that, so she just didn't baste pork or fowl, she substituted water for dairy, etc. It was pretty horrifying.
Even now, she still thinks she can cook. I got fat eating out AFTER dinner, because my mother's cooking was something to be avoided.
Prometheus720 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta put some sausage in there. Good meatloaf doesn't need ketchup or sauce, it's just delicious and moist on the inside.
wakingup_withwolves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think it just depends what meatloaf you're used to. I loved my mom's, but anyone else's doesn't taste right.
cleaver_username ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is a terrible cook. Growing up, everything was a casserole. Or an "experiment". Once i grew up and left the house, I realized i needed to go through the world retasting everything i thought i hated, because turns out i just hated her version. Even now, everything she cooks is bland, and i don't think she has tried a new recipe in over a decade. I don't get it.
TemptedTemplar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:07 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother was a decent cook, but holy hell were her favorite recipes terrible. She had these thrice rebound cook books gifted to her by her mother just filled with terrible enchiladas, applesauce meatloaf, and "tacos". I dont remember the name, only that its been out of print since 1952.
peacemaker2007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everyone just loves my meatloaf. People come up to me in the street and say, I love your meatloaf. And I say, I hear you! My meatloaf is gonna be the biggest. It's gonna be the best, believe me. We're gonna make the biggest meatloafs, and it's going to be the greatest. We're gonna make meatloafs great again."
Chloe_Zooms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My MIL sucks at cooking SO much but she gets only compliments for it. I assume it's that bad people are trying to make her feel better?
throwawoofwoof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:53 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
TheSameButBetter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother had a thing for buying the best quality fillet steaks and then cook them by boiling them in water.
I was 23 by the time I realised steak could actually be quite nice.
I love my mother, but I have to say she was a terrible cook.
Dr_Coxian ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:56:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've rejected the garbage that some of my partner's moms have tried to pass off as meatloaf. It has caused fights.
I refuse to accept anything less than comparably delicious. My mom makes a mean meatloaf.
merupu8352 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
As a lifelong vegetarian, I truly see no appeal in grinding a bunch of different types of meat up and baking it... is it actually that tasty?
[deleted] ยท 1699 points ยท Posted at 12:42:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're special"
[deleted] ยท 863 points ยท Posted at 14:22:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
mine just called me an idiot, over, and over, and over. Now I'm 33 and she wonders why I moved aprox 2000 miles away.
xiangbuqilai ยท 310 points ยท Posted at 15:29:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hear ya. I left in 2004 and live 6000 miles away. Still not over it.
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 17:48:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know how you feel. I moved in 122 BC and live on Mars. Parents, man.
Royalflush0 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:57:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel ya. I moved out shortly after the big bang and live a few light years away.
jinxed_07 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:41:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can relate. I moved out shortly after the whole Lucifer debacle and live in Hell.
darkest_ruby ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:14:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
same, except that I actually moved to different country
Skydiver860 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 17:39:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's a good chance that if someone lives 6000 miles away from someone else they live in another country.
TheBabySphee ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 17:44:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or they live in Texas
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:32:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
banjo plays
BITCRUSHERRRR ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:09:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
King of the Hill theme
StupendousMan98 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Implying Texas isn't another country
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:11:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Nimkolp ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:20:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/raisedbynarcissists
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Far from it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you move to Hawaii?
Donalf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, that gives you an average velocity of 0.0255ms-1 . I mean, that's kinda slow - 10 times faster than a quick snail. It could depend on how far and what direction you travelled. The Earth's circumference is about 40,000 km, so if you keep at it, then in about 30 years you could be half-way across the globe, so you literally could be over it!
You can do better! Keep on keeping on!
source: image and also wolfram alpha comparison
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 16:39:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She used to call me dumb, stupid, fat, ugly, useless, hopeless, etc as well as beating me. But as I got older, she stopped. But for what she said and did to me, when she did (ages 5-18?), I can't ever have the relationship I'd always wanted to have with my mother.
She desperately tries to reach out to me to try to have a close relationship with me, but I simply am unable to do so. And because most of this happened when I was living in Japan, regardless of how amazing Japan is, I lapse back into some severe depression shit whenever I have to go back. I'm due to go back in two weeks and the panic attacks have already started to set in.
I really truly wish I could have a close relationship with my mother. And despite all, I still love her. But I can only do so from a distance.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:52:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:10:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's definitely affected me in some way in terms of insecurities and all but... There's so much distance between us, it doesn't really hurt at all.
She doesn't acknowledge any of the damage she's done. She sees it as "discipline". If it isn't already obvious, yup we're Asian. I've expressed to her many times that I hate going to Japan and don't want to spend any more time there than I have to. She doesn't understand why I don't like it there and always asks. My dad seems to get it because he's never brought it up after the first time.
Thanks! My life is getting better. I am about to enter my last year in college. Have an amazing girlfriend, and things in general are looking better.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:25:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yaay! I'm going to need all that luck in my last year of Biomedical Engineering.
SinaiAndHappiness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/AsianParentStories
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:35:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks man! I'd gild you if I could. But alas, it's the thought that counts right. :)
phd_dude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:24:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Love with boundaries is the key, and it is totally okay to do this. You can forgive someone without letting them continue to hurt you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your entire second paragraph. I can relate so much. I'm 22 and going into my last year of college. She continuously commends herself for having raised me well. And just like you said, no matter how close she wants to be to me, I simply can't do it. It's the resentment, it's the physical repulsion, it's the unwillingness to be anything more than simply her son.
You hit the nail on the head with not being able to bring it up either. My mom is so fragile that if I ever raised any of this up, she would be utterly broken, especially so since I am an only child.
Your post honestly sounds like me, one year into the future. I just want a happy childhood.
Selfiemachine69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Same here. Used to scream at the top of her songs and throw things, saying she would leave the family forever because I wasn't a good enough child. I was home schooled until I was thirteen and not allowed to leave the house, and only given a very lapsed education during that time (essentially none at all). She told me never to see a therapist because she didn't want them to blame her and think she was a bad mother, and that if I were ever depressed, she'd call the police and have me forcibly sent to an insane asylum. Etc. I still live with her at 22, but I'm trying to get out. There's obviously loads more, but she's ruined my relationship with her forever. I've tried talking with her about it, but all she does is start crying and screaming how she's a bad mother.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am so sorry for your situation. It sounds like you should get your mother to a therapist. She might be suffering from a multitude of things internally which is causing her to act the way she does.
I hope you are successful in your attempts to move out and any further education/career you might choose! Internet stranger is wishing you luck!
Selfiemachine69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She won't see anyone, unfortunately, but thank you for the well wishing.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:12:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you though. Seriously.
stygyan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:06:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The biggest lie my mom told me is that I was going to hell for being gay. Joke's on her, I'm going to hell for being transgender.
QuickBowROTMG ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:12:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ayyye Can I join the emotionally abusive mothers club? Mine called me a fat ass ball of lard because I didn't wanna bike a couple miles to school at 6 A.M. when it was pouring rain.
rabidassbaboon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:57:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine took a passive aggressive approach. She just sent me to therapist after therapist to find out what was "wrong" with me. Turns out I was just kind of a shy kid, was content with just a handful of close friends, and found video games and movies more interesting than sports. (Fun fact: when I actually did play football in high school, she didn't attend a single game.)
We're fine now (I'm 34) but I spent the majority of the first quarter of my life digging out of the hole she dug into my confidence and sense of self worth.
drone42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine was much the same. "If you had half a brain, you'd be dangerous." "Dumbass." (More times than I can count), and her favorite, "Gay piece of shit." Im not gay. At all.
smallLoanof1mil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same,I'm 23 and im still trying to leave my home town:(
MorfienIV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're not an idiot untill they keep you up till 2 in the morning on a school night telling you so. Then proceed to ask why you sleep all the time. Stupid.
Pedollm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Rofl. I wish I could move away from home too.
Fire_away_Fire_away ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did this and my parents love me. Maybe I'm a bad kid.
g1ngerguitarist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey! Same! highfive
brettf123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always told me when I got a bad grade "fine you wanna keep up like this, fucking fail, see if I care" and wondered why I never came to her with problems or had ANY self esteem
I was genuinely struggling but my brother was a "genius" who was simply too lazy to do homework, it was assumed I was the same, when really I just couldn't comprehend math
Rockapp2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hell yeah man, I've been a member of the dick sucking queer bait bastard's for 9 years now!
NumbMyLove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine said I was fat and gonna grow up to be a prostitute and a drug addict and die alone in the streets. Moms can be pretty wicked sometimes.
GajahMahout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:22:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same. I was ironing the other day and couldn't get being told how ugly I was out of my head the whole rest of the day.
Skoot99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Be Brave. Tell her the truth. Open your heart.
Anrikay ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:08:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I tell her how much it hurt me, she calls me a liar and mocks me with it every time we fight. "Oh, is this going to hurt you too? I'm not about to walk on eggshells because you're too sensitive." Or she'll say I'm always trying to paint her as the bad guy and why am I always so mean to her? She's done nothing to deserve it and even if she had, she only said or did those things because I was such a brat.
She'll never take any responsibility and engaging will only make her attack me. Better to just let it go.
Skoot99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. I did not expect such a deep an heartfelt answer. I was totally just referencing the show "Preacher". I am so sorry, my friend.
Thoth74 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And we all know how that worked out.
Karthanon ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:50:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or just open hers. Hope you get away with it.
rib-bit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you don't call real idiots "idiots"...think about how you treat your friends - you never make fun of their real disabilities....she loved you then and still loves you now - she just doesn't know how to show it very well...
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:07:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sure. But explain that to a 12 year old.
And, personally, I can forgive my mom for that. But now I have my own kids, and she shows the exact same behaviors towards them. As a result, my 2 & 6 year old barely know their grandma. I may be damaged, but I can do my best to keep my kids safe.
Steve_Harvey387 ยท 939 points ยท Posted at 13:17:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Move the quotes around.
You're "special"
now it's not a lie
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:24:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're" special?
Rottemdy123 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:28:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Savage
Frustrable_Zero ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:33:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
With the way people act these days, this very well might be the case.
andersonle09 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:58:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: You're special.
Me: No I'm not, I have nothing that sticks out about me at all.
Mom: Well, you're special to me...
Horkpork ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:35:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not even the occasional boner or boobs?
foafeief ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:55:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Too small to stick out
EngragmentChild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
no, thats usually the zipper
noah21n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OHHHH SHITTT BURRRRNNNN
Azusanga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're" special
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Savage. +1
ZacQuicksilver ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 16:12:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You forget that "special" (in quotes) got it's meaning because of the parent lie: parents telling their kids (mostly Millennials) they were special; until special got a whole new meaning to kids, who are now adults.
isodore ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:29:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It comes from special needs
Thresher72 ยท 316 points ยท Posted at 13:17:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Coupled with "You can be anything you want to be."
[deleted] ยท 584 points ยท Posted at 14:06:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want to be*
*terms and conditions apply
aKiDnamedCoLiN ยท 166 points ยท Posted at 15:33:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Motivation and Capability *and Opportunity
big-fireball ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:13:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shhh, they don't want to hear that part.
Bladelink ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:47:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And your spawn point.
d4nkq ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:49:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My sister maxed out all her scores upon leaving high school. She wanted to be an astronaut or work at CERN. We live in Australia. She's not going to space.
aKiDnamedCoLiN ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:55:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I suppose Opportunity also belongs in the terms and conditions, with that said
d4nkq ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:58:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm, yeah I think that covers everything.
Stacia_Asuna ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:29:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait how hard is it to get out of Australia and which non American countries have decent space programmes (would recommend against America due to the political situation)
d4nkq ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:58:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not but we're (middle class, not poor)first-generation immigrants. Parents could probably absorb the financial cost of relocating her but honestly even if you're a superfit, superintelligent military brat whose parents are high-ups in the Chinese military, your chances of actually being sent to space are preeeetty slim(because not a lot of people are currently needed in space).
Working at CERN, competing in the Olympics are probably more attainable, but to put it in RPG terms: for reasons entirely out of the control of most individuals, those are character builds you need to start minmaxing for long before you have the mental capacity to pick goals and dreams.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:18:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:27:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
not to mention immigrate to another country?
SuperSMT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you have enough motivation, nothing's stopping you
Matrix_V ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't want to hear that! /s
itswhywegame ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:38:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Offered at select locations.
LetYourLoveShow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
kick6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like this version better:
You can be anything you want to be*
*lack of income may apply
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:08:03 on August 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:34 on August 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus. Please get help
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:09 on August 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:15:05 on August 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're engaging in abusive and harassing behavior. Please stop.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:08:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
LazyTheSloth ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:20:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exept a decent artist.
Real_Adam_Sandler ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:54:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can I be a Harley Davidson?
zapbark ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 15:20:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Plus: "Just do whatever makes you happy"
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:23:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Unless that thing isn't going to college and getting an average job, starting a family and giving us grandkids. If it isn't that don't do it"
bob_marley98 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:56:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Except that thing you do in the bathroom when you have one of dad's magazines...
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:09:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Follow up: "Why are you doing that?!" Me: "Cause I enjoy doing this." Her: "No I don't like it. You better stop that or you're grounded for a month!"
naphini ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:13:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It doesn't matter what you major in; all you need is a degree."
Jhavul ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Bu-but mom, why can't I browse those websites I was told to check out?"
"Because those websites will make you sad, honey."
meekotherogue ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:07:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No not that".
RemyTwoShoes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:48:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
^ A million times this.
NDaveT ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:42:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was more the "You can be anything I want you to be" school.
Fikkia ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:01:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"As long as its not gay or ugly" sweet smile
Crap, we're meant to be doing lies
NathVanDodoEgg ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:02:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad used that phrase sarcastically to insult me, basically saying that I will grow up to be a waste of space. This was after getting an A in English Language GCSE instead of an A*, and he even knew that I had no intention of pursuing the subject any further.
He still wonders why my brothers and I were so adamant about moving away for University.
charlesgegethor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:01:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want to be. Just not any of those things that you actually want to be"
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:59:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you can. It's just super fucking hard.
Hyperdrunk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:49:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's just age specific. There's no reason to crush a 5 year old's dreams, but preteens and teens probably need a gentle dose of reality that they're probably not going to be a professional athlete or race car driver so they need to cultivate multiple pathways to success.
salonethree ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:09:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
step 1: be born in a privileged society step 2: be part of their upper class step 3: achieve your hopes and dreams on the rotting corpses of others
CorpseZero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Especially when the child wants to be a singer, but can't carry a tune in a bucket.
AlreadyRedditEarlier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that identity theft?
InvadedByMoops ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A firefighter and astronaut and ballerina and police officer!
Daniel_The_Thinker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is a world where a prostitute became a pirate queen. Don't give me this shit.
jaytrade21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So I became an Attack Helicopter.
mongster_03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's Zootopia.
TheVagaKnight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, if most kids applied themselves more I think they'd have a pretty good chance.
BlueDragonGirl_ ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 14:48:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Generally when mom says that, she's saying that you're special to her.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
BlueDragonGirl_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:12:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty much what my mom taught me once I started losing friends when I was 10/11. Up until then, everybody liked me. And at that point, she looked me dead in the face and said "Just say 'fuck them'. You don't need them. You don't have to be perfect."
And since then I've gotten really apathetic and I don't give a shit about anything or anyone if it/they don't mean something to me. On one hand, I seem completely heartless. On the other hand, I have pretty much zero stress or worry in my life.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:21:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
BlueDragonGirl_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:05:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We already knew why I was losing friends. I was always the "weird kid". I'm a girl and I loved video games and Pokรฉmon and guns and hunting and I watched scary movies and listened to metal. So once we all started hitting puberty, everybody got more judgemental, as middle/high schoolers tend to be. And nobody wanted to be my friend because I wasn't "normal".
And mom told me that if they didn't like me or want to be my friend because of who I was, or what I liked, then I didn't need them. I couldn't make them like me. And I certainly wasn't going to change myself. But I understand what you're saying. It was just because I was "weird", and no other reasons than that.
We also lived in a very small, Christian village (literally a village. Barely 1000 people). And the parents were very judgemental and intolerant of anything outside of the typical suburban white family norm. So there wasn't going to be any talking to the parents and letting them know that their kids were being so judgemental or cruel. Because the parents were the same way.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:40:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
BlueDragonGirl_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but it's alright. It sucked for pubescent 10 year old me. But I'm 21 now, not bothered at all. Nobody can hurt me, so that's good.
kennyl ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:55:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Special ed, that is.
Fudgeismyname ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 14:48:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every child is special to their mother.
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 13:43:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Special doesn't have be be something good, lol.
I mean, you could be a special kind of pedophile.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:00:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's ok sweetie, you don't diddle kids like most other people. You diddle kids in your own special way!"
-Mother of a peadophile
stayoffmygrass ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:49:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
and be good at it....
omahaks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
a specophile
stygyan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Earlier I was watching Bo Burham. Loved the double standards bit.
"I really hate double standards. If I fuck a kid, I'm a pedophile. But if the kid fucks me, I'm still the pedophile. Twice in a week."
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 14:30:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think there's anything wrong with telling your child they are special, as long as you tell them that so is everyone else. That way they feel special, but don't grow up thinking they deserve special treatment because they are more special than everyone else.
And I know telling them that everyone is special is contradictory but little kids don't really grasp that.
all_the_sex ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:07:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it's contradictory, I think it just leaves out the context. If you have a kid, they're special TO YOU. Unless the kid's parents suck, every kid is special - to their parents. How many parents would just trade their kid for some random kid on the street? I know a lot of people joke about that kind of thing, but I think very few would actually exchange a child.
Schnauzerbutt ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:14:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like unique or precious would be better words to use
rabbit395 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:46:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly, it's context that matters. Usually people who tell kids they are special they mean "unique".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then they might hit you with that Incredibles vibe : "when everyone is super, no one is."
Waryur ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I get the feeling that he's referring to "special" as in "mentally challenged" lol
_I_HATE_MYSELF_ ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 13:40:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My username speaks it out.
mischimischi ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:23:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hugs.
OfficialWhistle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:43:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
....just like everyone else.
dude_icus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:26:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it really a lie when almost everyone's mom honestly thinks this about their kids?
Ajk320 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:24:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
โYou are not special. You're not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else. We're all part of the same compost heap. We're all singing, all dancing crap of the world"
Haterbait_band ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:53:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Somehow, that makes me feel really content and comfortable.
LazyTheSloth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:21:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I agree.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:03:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps you should get help.
omac0101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You may not be special to the world but you are special to me and I am special to you.
churnedGoldman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:36:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Well you know what? My mom always used to say that average people are the most special people in the world. And that's why God made so many."
-Michael Scott
rib-bit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:17:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also...You have ADD/ADHD/Aspergers...
madjoy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always told me how beautiful I was.
It was years later when okcupid's hotness algorithm proved otherwise to me. Oh well. At least my mom thinks I'm beautiful! I don't think she was lying - I think she genuinely mistakenly believes it. Sweet, really.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:44:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But why the fuck would they do that?!???! If a mother was truly loving she would tell the truth.
Sirikia ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 12:44:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Telling your kids "You're a worthless blight on society, I wish I had an abortion" is generally frowned upon by society though.
Irememberedmypw ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 12:46:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is ? Shit I got some therapy lessons to pay for.
geared4war ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:58:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well that depends. Did you live up to the hype, as it were?
Young_Aria ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:47:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom didn't get the memo I guess...
stayoffmygrass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now you tell me.
kick6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because you are special...to them. They just fail to complete the thought, and tell you that nobody else gives a fuck about you.
fff8e7cosmic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:54:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do people's mothers actually say this? Mine only did when she was making it clear to me that I had sensory issues and was more work than my siblings because of it.
Did you all really get showered with this kind of praise?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:57:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine never actually said this. My parents are very down-to-earth people, making sure I knew that hard work pays off but nothing more.
I didn't grow up thinking I was exceptionally talented, or exceptionally smart. I was just reassured that if I want something, there's a way that I can get it if I work hard enough.
Amberleaf29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents were the same. I do wish they had complimented me more, though. Now as an adult i have poor self esteem and I can't really take compliments, which I think is an important skill because no one likes it when you go "uhhh... really???" and act all confused when they say they like your hair or something. I was also bullied quite a lot in elementary school and I think my parents didn't really take that into account.
They're kinda praise-y now that I'm an adult and function fairly well despite my anxiety, Tourette's, etc., but their strictness growing up was a little too much at times. But I do have that knowledge that yes, I am smart, I can do what I want to... so it worked out.
LearnedGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ever heard of Dr. Spock, the child psychologist? He advocated for less dependence on parents and received criticism for his non-traditional views of childcare. Some attribute the instant gratification movement to him, as well as the echoes that rang down to Gen-X'ers and Millenials.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad always told me I'm special and unique, just like everybody else.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For me the lie was always "I love you"
taedrin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, you ARE special. You are the protagonist of your own story - nobody else can write your life's story for you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, am average.
oh_no_not_canola_oil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the way the local school district would put it.
babybelly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
sylar origins
demyurge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
M'other
adudeguyman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is because people aren't supposed to use the word "retarded" anymore.
techgupta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah man its true!!! Even my doctor said the same thing to me.
OhLookAtMeImSpecial ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know
Aldo_The_Apache_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, Special-Ed
Zing!
GamerChef420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like George Carlin said if everyone is "special".....at what point do we start becoming not so special.
Arvanche ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am special, my mummy always says that im special!
Because i'm in a wheelchair!
LegitGamer117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"And they have an Olympics for you, too."
derpface360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yo, your mom isn't lying when she says that. You're her fucking kid. Being "special" is relative. You're special to her.
The_professor053 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Imagine you have a special person in a room, then you add someone who isn't special. Now he becomes special because he's the only not special person. Now if you put the rest of the world in the room he's still special!"
PeanutButter707 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:29:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Forrest Gump?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My child is special. He even goes to a special school!
jabfo43 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:56:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Uggggghhhh, not true
S-4
P-5
E-6
C-7
I-8
L-5
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:02:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god, I'm so sick of seeing this pessimistic butthurt answer on every incarnation of this thread.
Every child is special to their mother. Grow up, for christ's sake.
IWantToSayThis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you get butthurt by this answer I say you're the one that has some growing up to do. The truth is that we are all special to someone and that makes that fact very non-special.
And the truth is that 99.9% of us are not special in the grand schema of things. The sooner people realize that the happier and more considerate they will be to their fellow human beings.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I understand that. I just think "you're special" is a perfectly acceptable means of imbuing a child with self-confidence and self-worth.
What else are you supposed to say to a kid? "You're a mundane, typical being who will contribute as much to society as everyone else"?
IWantToSayThis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:26:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How about "Everyone is this world is fighting a hard battle and no one in this life will give you things for free. You have to fight for what you want but at the same time respect and understand others".
Who knows, maybe that's for an older child. But before saying "you're special" I'd rather say other things that don't give my kids false sense of superiority.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Need to chill out. Stop being "special".
OSHA_certified ยท 1485 points ยท Posted at 16:59:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"I love you and you are very important to me."
Should be "I love your healthy organs and they are very important to me."
Ten years later I found out that she only adopted me because I have the same blood type and she wanted someone to feel indebt to her and donate organs since she's had ongoing battles with cancer.
Bitch adopted me just to harvest my organs. Needless to say I didn't give her fucking anything. The second she found a dude that's willing to put up with her shit and willingly agreed to give her organs, I was ignored.
Edit: Minor text fixes.
Thatguywiththename1 ยท 674 points ยท Posted at 17:39:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow this is probably the most fucked up one I've read here, I'm so sorry to hear that
OSHA_certified ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 18:48:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly don't sweat it much any more. I recognized it and moved on as quickly as I could because there's no way I'm going to stick around for her bullshit. I'm stronger because of it so I guess I'm glad I learned about what kind of people are out there and what kind of person I should never be.
me3wa ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:39:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
happy to hear you were able to move past it and become a better person because of it. all the more respect to you.
OSHA_certified ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:42:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, I really do appreciate that.
HOOTERS_REJECT ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:17:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god. I am glad you could move past that. Can I ask how old you are and if you're doing well now?
OSHA_certified ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:20:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 27 now, and I'm actually doing extremely well. Working my dream job and engaged to a wonderful woman. (A woman whom my mother attempted to warn me against and that she's bad for me etc etc, then tried to covince her that I was cheating on her, etc.). Joke's on her.
Also, A+ username.
HOOTERS_REJECT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:17:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She sounds horrible. But you sound lovely. I'm happy to hear your life is working out for you. Good on you for rising above it. That's not an easy feat.
OSHA_certified ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:23:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. I suppose with things there's really only two ways to take it. Do you sit by and just let it happen and get swept up with it or do you stand up and fight? Fuck yeah!
LeChat42 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:45:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
.
OSHA_certified ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:55:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gross... I don't even know what to say...
LeChat42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:09:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
.
OSHA_certified ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It really is. Shit like this is just fucked up on so many levels.
blown-upp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow... There aren't even words to describe how I feel about this; I truly hope that legislation can be passed that puts an end to human rights violation that conceiving a life for the sole purpose of harvesting body parts is. That shit's scary...
theniceguytroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ. That's fucking sickening.
IntrinsicSurgeon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:08:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I've kinda become desensitized to all the (unfortunately common) druggies/abuse stories, but this one really got to me.
yomjoseki ยท 97 points ยท Posted at 18:34:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That Niantic edit tho
OSHA_certified ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 18:53:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
โ(๏พใฎ๏พโ)
MissAhMaizeingMoxie ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 18:24:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is some my sister's keeper shit. I am so sorry
OSHA_certified ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 18:47:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a stronger person for it, so in some really fucked up way it taught me from an early age that family doesn't mean shit if they're not loving and supportive and that some people can be really shitty no matter how nice they seem.
MissAhMaizeingMoxie ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:53:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hugs i know bit it's still a hard lesson. To learn with anyone and someone like immediate family it's just sucky.
OSHA_certified ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:55:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hugs It is, no doubt about that. I do honestly feel better off though because it was several lessons in one such as no matter how sweet and innocent someone may appear, that doesn't mean they actually are and just overall look after yourself. Not in a paranoid way, but just in a general caution.
MissAhMaizeingMoxie ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:59:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhh I am glad you feel that way. That you took something that is such a hard lesson and swallowed it like a champ. You're such a stronger person for it and BTW cool username
OSHA_certified ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:04:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's also given me a sick, dark sense of humor as well. In the immortal words of Soldier: 76: "Knock me down and I'll keep getting back up."
And thank you, haha.
Setkon ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:57:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother's keeper
OSHA_certified ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:59:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's really frightening how some of these stories and movies can actually parallel reality, and how in some cases it's so far off it isn't even funny.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:59:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
jesus! waoh...just...I don't have words. I am sorry.
Alas, I will not say it made you stronger but it had to have had some kind of steeling effect on you. Both mentally and physically I would guess. I hope you have found some way to turn this horrible situation to your advantage. Best wishes for a more wonderful life I would assume you have already paid your dues on the shit end of the stick.
OSHA_certified ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:09:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, however someone looks at it is fine by me. You are correct that it did have that steeling effect. I am in a much better position now. I'm working my dream job and I'm engaged to the woman of my dreams. (A woman who my mother attempted to convince me that was cheating on me and didn't care about me. Even tried to pull her aside and tell her I was cheating on her. What????) Joke's on her!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:34:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome. I am very happy for you.
OSHA_certified ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. Everybody deserves to do well!
80Eight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you make sure that your wife and you didn't have compatible organs?
OSHA_certified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It never even crossed my mind to see if we did or didn't. It doesn't really matter, either.
Lady_Anarchy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:20:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that's fucked. that's really, really fucked.
OSHA_certified ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:26:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is, but eh. I'm far, far away from her now and living a life I always wanted to.
Lady_Anarchy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:48:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
well, that's good at least.
phd_dude ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:37:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, just wow. Hope your life is better now?
OSHA_certified ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 18:43:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As soon as I moved away things got so much better. Working a much higher paying job and much, much happier in life. The woman she said was no good for me is now my fiance and we have our own place and couldn't be happier.
Thank you for the concern.
phd_dude ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:59:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hang in there! If you ever do choose to have or adopt children, know that you can and will be a much better parent to your children and that a healthy and happy relationship can exist between a child and parent (although ever relationship will have at least some baggage attached to it).
OSHA_certified ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:07:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've had the desire to be a father since I was literally 4 years old, and I've always promised myself I'd do a MUCH better job and actually love my children no matter if they're biological or adopted.
I can see how some people may think that no healthy relationship can grow between kids and parents after something like this, but I've seen both ends of the spectrum so I am fully aware it is possible. Though I do appreciate your words and reassurance!
Baggage is unavoidable, it's up to the individual to be able to handle it properly!
phd_dude ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:12:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome, so happy and impressed that you came from such a toxic relationship and turned it around. Good on you mate!
OSHA_certified ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:15:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody deserves a bad relationship, but everybody deserves to be happy and succeed. Thank you for that!
Sunlit5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:35:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. That's rough.
OSHA_certified ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:44:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eh. I learned a lot from her and her ex husband like what kind of person I should never be.
Sunlit5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry. That sucks.
StateAardvark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:13:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of John Locke's story from LOST.
OSHA_certified ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:16:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never really got into LOST. What's his story?
StateAardvark ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:27:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He was raised in foster homes and never knew his parents until he was around 40. When his parents reach out and connect with him, it's so that his dad can bond with him to pressure him into giving him a kidney. He finally does, and the dad immediately shuts him out of his life. He then spends an episode or two sitting in his car outside of his dad's house, looking for a way to talk to his dad and find out why he would do that to him.
OSHA_certified ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:53:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ho shit. That's pretty fucked, man. Family can be shitty sometimes.
hanky2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:21:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the book "House of the Scorpion".
leavingNYCtoday ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:49:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. That shit is unreal. I hope she got that Fucking transplant and her body rejected it and she died anyways. Stupid bitch.
OSHA_certified ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:55:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately I think she is still alive. Eh. I haven't talked to her in a couple years so she's dead to me anyway.
leavingNYCtoday ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:09:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you. Being happy is the best gift you can give to yourself. Thanks for sharing the story but more importantly for sharing your good attitude. And your OSHA certification. Hats off to you good sir!!
OSHA_certified ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:07:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha. Well being a victim and going "woe is me!" Is a disgusting way to live. That's how she was and nooooooo thank you.
Bahaha well thanks. OSHA ain't got shit on me.
leavingNYCtoday ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:25:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao!!! My dad and brothers would have to get OSHA certified for their jobs and they would always come home and be tell us how they would help the instructors in explaining bc they didn't really understand what it's like out in the field. You sound like good people.
OSHA_certified ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:38:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude they don't know shit about it, it's so stupid. I could look around in the building I'm in and point out half a dozen things wrong but nobody gives half of two fucks.
Truth be told, if OSHA was followed 100%, people would die more than not.
leavingNYCtoday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Word. You be safe.
OSHA_certified ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:19:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You, too.
keeperofcats ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:58:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like the plot of a Jodi Picoult novel...
NevaMO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:00:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf
WhackTheSquirbos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:03:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's insane. Sorry dude.
Have you ever read House of the Scorpion? Great book.
OSHA_certified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll have to check it out!
Ahryi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:26:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck.
JWBS_Steam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:26:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's very close to the plot of the book House of the Scorpion
OSHA_certified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Another person recommended I read that. I'll have to take a look!
cactuscat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:36:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's really weird, and well, stupid and ignorant. And scary. Most organ donations happen after death...and often the match has to be on more than blood type, it has to be tissue type which is more complex.
OSHA_certified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Often times it can be from a living person as well, but you are right. She was also very uneducated...
DonkeybutterNipple ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit. Is she very rich by chance?
OSHA_certified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No. Lower-middle class.
DonkeybutterNipple ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:33:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OK nvm. If you said rich I would have replied Illuminati confirmed.
Purple-Leopard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:11:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Woah. I expected to read the typical standard stuff but this is a pretty unique situation. What the fuck...
Do you keep in contact with her? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no. Does she ever attempt to get in contact with you?
OSHA_certified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I absolutely do not keep in contact with her. She is dead to me. She tried to get in contact with me a few times with the "woe is me" bullshit and passive aggressive jabs about how I never appreciated her as a parent and "a mother's work is never appreciated!" Every time I told her to stop talking to me. The last time she did I told her that if she attempts to contact me again that I will contact the police and disclose every single bit of child abuse and neglect she's done as well as file several harassment charges against her and that the evidence I have against her will make it entirely impossible for her to deny it in a court of law.
I haven't heard from her since.
Purple-Leopard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:47:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good. I have a NMom (gonna do a quick advertisement for /r/raisedbynarcissists here) - one day I will go full no contact. Happy to hear that's in the past for you. It truly amazes me what people are capable of.
OSHA_certified ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:59:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've been to that subreddit before and honestly it just infuriates me so much I can't sub. (Not because the sub exists, but because the stories there make me see red. How could a parent be so shitty?!?)
Purple-Leopard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's alright. I 100% understand.
OSHA_certified ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:16:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do definitely support that sub and the people in it, though. It deserves the attention.
Silence64 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:17:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That Pokemon Go joke
OSHA_certified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
โ(๏พใฎ๏พโ)
RelevantAnecdotes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How did she know your blood type? I'm a foster parent and I've never known any of my bio or foster kids blood types. It's not in the file.
OSHA_certified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She knew my biological mother.
justbeaky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you're okay.
OSHA_certified ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:32:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm doing just fine now, yeah. Thank you.
TheVagaKnight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:36:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that... Legal? Taking organs from a child you're the guardian of?
OSHA_certified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If they willingly give them, yes. She was banking on me willingly giving them.
TheVagaKnight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:42:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But kids can't consent to anything. That needs to be made illegal?
Sorry for your experience btw. Hope life's looking up.
OSHA_certified ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:50:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is. She was wanting me to be able to once I became of age to be able to legally give organs.
TheVagaKnight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:53:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doy! Of course. Silly me, and silly, silly her.
OSHA_certified ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:55:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No worries, I can understand the confusion, haha.
TheVagaKnight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:58:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And is life looking up?
OSHA_certified ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:00:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Better than I ever thought it would, actually. I'm working a great job and I'm engaged to a wonderful woman. We have our own place and moved far, far away from my mother.
TheVagaKnight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:02:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good. Peace be with you, brother.
OSHA_certified ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:08:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. And with you, my friend.
Rockapp2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:37:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, I think this enough reddit for today.
OSHA_certified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll be back.
tonypedia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:21:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can you do an ama?
OSHA_certified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I suppose I could, sure. Where would I, though?
tonypedia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean I don't know, just sounds like you have a unique, if not a little fucked up story. I think that means you should tell it for the amusement of random strangers online.
OSHA_certified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is kind of what I did here. There is a subreddit that has stories like this pretty often. /r/raisedbynarcissists
LeChat42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
.
Seriou ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:52:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Joke's on her, bitch gave you free food.
OSHA_certified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And a place to live!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ that's one of the most twisted things I've read.
I'm glad you've gotten out of that situation and earned yourself a good life. Also sick meme on the edit.
OSHA_certified ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:56:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate that! Things have gotten much better lately.
Dank memes is how I heal. โ(๏พใฎ๏พโ)
ladyxdi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder how many people made the "wtf" face I just made while reading this? Holy shit.
Raven_7306 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You made me tear up again. So sorry to hear this dude
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, wtf?
Who's your mom? Mary Shelley?
CasualHouseGuest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit! That's the worst I've heard so far. What a disgusting human being. I'm so sorry that happened to you.
derpface360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She's a foken snake, lad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
OSHA_certified ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:19:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing ever really came of it thank god. She never got anything from me.
stepsword ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this isn't that common
Are kids often adopted for their organs?
OSHA_certified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly don't know. The very hopeful part of me says it's very rare and almost never happens, but the skeptical side of me is afraid it happens more than it should.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit you win, if I were you I would routinely send her elephant shit in the mail when she's in the hospital
Propaganda_Box ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Villain of the year right here
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well. At least you have your organs fam.
OSHA_certified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've still got all mine, and she's literally missing 8 1/2.
OSHA_certified: 0
OSHA_certified's mom: -8 1/2
trancematik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ever seen "Tangled?"
OSHA_certified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not until very recently, yeah.
Tommydee123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sociopath?
OSHA_certified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Very much so.
xNoxClanxPro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hope your Pokemon journey is going better than your mother's.
OSHA_certified ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:09:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!
skyrim270 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry to hear that, I hope you get the love you deserve. If you ever need someone to talk to I'm only a DM away.
glideguitar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
what. the. fuck.
getdatgoat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit.
my_random_thots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy hell. /r/raisedbynarcissists gets it.
Chriso380 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck
Storytellerbobfan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man. It sucks. Best wishes to you
LuckyNinefingers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's so fucked up it could be the premise of a horror movie.
fireork12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So kinda like House of The Scorpion
OSHA_certified ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're the third person to mention that. I'll definitely need to find it at a bookstore.
fireork12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely
close_my_eyes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of people adopt for less overt, but equally narcisstic reasons. It sucks.
OSHA_certified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's true and equally, as shitty.
jockstrap_joe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:40 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You win
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:25 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
OSHA_certified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No?
scottishdrunkard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On the bright side, you get to keep all of your blood and organs.
JohnDarwin89 ยท 3880 points ยท Posted at 13:57:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"I don't want the last piece,take it!"
Just remember that most moms love their kids and will always put their wishes behind their kids'
Edit:a letter
squattmunki ยท 1390 points ยท Posted at 15:01:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 28 years old and my mom still gives up the last piece.
promitchuous ยท 787 points ยท Posted at 15:51:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom forces me to take the last piece even if I don't want it. She'll make breakfast and there'll be one piece of bacon left and I've got 6 on my plate already and she's eaten half of one, then she makes me take the last one even though I actively don't want it.
Daxx22 ยท 1663 points ยท Posted at 16:46:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're skin and bones, eat it!"
"Mom, I'm clinically obese, please stop!"
jimmytehbob ยท 258 points ยท Posted at 17:33:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds almost like my grandma. Except for she tells.me I'm.fat, then puts more bacon on my plate.
AddNine ยท 256 points ยท Posted at 18:02:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She's going to eat you later to increase her lifespan.
jimmytehbob ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:24:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I believe it. I know she is extending her life somehow. I at first thought it was feeding on our happiness leaving only negativity. She likes to make my cousin cry, which I admittedly find funny.
TheGamingOnion ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:05:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cookie clicker?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is a strange take on the way a Shinigami works.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Big Mom?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Big Momma
holythunderz ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:53:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
THIS IS EXACTLY MY GRANDMA!
"/u/holythunderz, you should really watch what you eat wink wink." 20 mins later "Have seconds /u/holythunderz, you barely ate! Don't you want butter on your steak?".
>.>
jimmytehbob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:26:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You see, that's more polite, my grandma will straight up tell me I'm fat. And inform me that I need to be eating better and then dump candy and shit into our cart for me (I take her grocery shopping because she can't push the cart, in turn she buys me groceries too).
oliviaandhunter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:07:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Accurate.
"Oh, oliviaandhunter watch out you don't want to eat too much bread, you'll get fat." "Oh, oliviaandhunter you've barely touched your plate, eat more!"
jimmytehbob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So true, I grab just a little food and she looks at me and insists I take more, while shaming me for my protruding gut. For her anyway I think it's a mentality she developed from growing up poor in WWII France.
AnalSkinflaps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This smells like manipulation to keep you dependent somehow. TO keep you under the thumb. Slowly eating at your self esteem the fatter you get.
I don't know anything.
jimmytehbob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's about right, but I'm not sure the reason. She's worse to my cousins. Likes to tell one of them that she's an absolute slut making her cry all the time, and call the other one stupid. All to their face. Thanksgiving is fun at her house.
AnalSkinflaps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your Grandmother sounds like an awesome person. /S When i come into contact with awful People i will try to understand and fix. It just my dogood idealistic view of the world that anybody can be fixed.
It doesn't work moet of the time but hat i have learned is that there usually a reason why People are as they are.
jimmytehbob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I love my grandma.
alx3m ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:09:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Asian grandmother by any chance?
jimmytehbob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
French actually.
typhyr ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:13:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a little overweight, and my mom insists I eat her oversized portions since I'm a "growing boy." I'm 21. Whenever I don't eat it all she's like "you don't like my cooking?" People can be ridiculous sometimes.
SuperSlam64 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:53:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it varies for everyone, but I'm pretty sure by age 21 99% of people have finished growing...
...except you because your mum puts too much food on your plate.
sagetrees ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:43:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
stopped growing verticaly at least...
JustthatITguy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:14:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No Hun, you're Husky"
SuperSlam64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet (of mammas cookin').
fruitasylum ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:25:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a little overweight and my mom always calls me out on it... then promptly forces me to eat fatty, unhealthy foods. Thaaanks mom.
instantrobotwar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:02:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My (iraqi refugee) mother in law does this. She gets so sad, like she's going to cry if we don't eat. It was a different world 50 years ago.
ambivouac ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:57:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Well sure, it's a LOT of skin and bones..."
Succinctly_Offensive ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:58:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*morbidly
whatizzit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
is your name Dudley, by chance?
the_fredblubby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Eat the god damned bacon."
serrompalot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't be able to refute that because I am skin and bones.
giskard9385 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
me irl
RenaKunisaki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're just skin and really big, squishy bones.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Did you sign that life insurance paperwork yet, honey?"
"I will after this third slice of cheesecake."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
You go to Egypt
[deleted] ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 16:50:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Mexican Mom: You're getting fat! Quit eating so much!
later
Mexican Mom: How many tacos do you want?
Kid: Just 2
Mexican Mom: Well, you got 5. And you better eat them all!
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:22:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think Hawaiian Moms are just Mexican Moms that replace the tacos with rice.
NewMexicoJoe ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:33:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is definitely an Italian mom.
anonymousproxy404 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jewish moms are just Hawaiian moms that replace the rice with matzah balls
JibJig ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:39:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Irish mom just drinks.
Probably catching up all the time she could've been drinking when I was growing up.
clown-penisdotfart ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:52:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom does this, but now at my age my wife just says "you know you're not hungry any more!" and gives me That LookTM and I'm just caught in between their bacon slice Cold War every time. My mom doesn't like bacon and my wife is a vegetarian, I'm just the innocent bystander now critically confused as to whether or not I do indeed want that bacon.
Protip: Side with your wife. She's the one you have sex with. It's the people who reply to your comment that have sex with your mom.
Iorith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:24 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But it's bacon.
Tundur ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:39:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair a lot of older people just eat less.
callmejenkins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:49:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She's actually just trying to lose weight.
Solaer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or offers you the other half of the rasher she's eating.
Nelson-BC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Food is love. Now eat the damn bacon.
Roaming_Bot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:20:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When we order pizza my mom orders a whole pizza just for her and then still eats the last piece of mine
Jazonxyz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:05:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always buys one extra taco for herself so she can give it to me when I'm done eating mine. (We're Mexican)
duaneap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't want it I'll take it
nipnip54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom got a variety of baked goods as a going away gift after quitting her job and she insists half of the stuff in the box is mine, including the red velvet which is pretty much get favorite dessert
BlueFlannelJacket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 21 and in a 3 year relationship. My porbably-eventual-Mother in law does this all the time. Being the only young guy in the house, I end up with like half a pot of mashed potatoes at the end of every meal.
chesterfeildsofa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She took care of you your whole life and for years you relied on her for everything. Now you're grown up and can do things for yourself. She is just over compensating because she misses feeling needed. Eat the damn bacon.
promitchuous ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:16:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I absolutely do.
3_cat_mom ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:26:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That would never happen in my house. I ALWAYS get my share of bacon!! Well ok sometimes my son gets extra but not that much!!!
ApprovalNet ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:23:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She gives up a piece more than you think.
CorpseZero ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:52:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dat ast...
Mattxy8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 21, my mom will mail me the last piece...
ohmygodnotagain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yea she does...
enyoron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
25. My mom ostentatiously gives me the last piece so I can go through the motions of saying I'm too full to eat it so she can eat it guilt free, making sure it doesn't go to waste.
kwertyuiop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have to trick her into thinking it's the last piece and then I immediately reveal my master deception. Hahaha, I'm so generous.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She's just trying to lose weight.
Overcriticalengineer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not all she gives up.
justhereforastory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And here I am and my mom either hides the chocolate and sweets (and raspberries which I'm MOST upset about) until I find them (then tells me not to tell my dad which is fine because GUESS WHAT I FOUND THE DAMN CHOCOLATE) OR opens up MY chocolate and "promises" to give me a new one (which never happens).
I'm telling her she owes me a chocolate bar (she does, she ate 1.5 of my two chocolate bars, and I split that last 0.5 with my dad!)
Name_Shmame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my mom just did this to me last weekend. My husband bought me a candy bar and when she noticed, she wanted it. Went to bed a few hours later, the next morning we're talking and her dog starts chewing on something. Turns out it was the wrapper of my candy bar that she ate when I went to bed. Thanks mom!
justhereforastory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. And if it weren't my mom I'd be overly pissed as opposed to just pissed. Because now I want a chocolate bar. (I'd get one but I'm moving out at the end of the week and don't really want to go back for more groceries).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 27 and my mom will still give my dad and I last piece or bigger pieces.
32BitWhore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom's Italian. She gives up the whole dinner to make sure we're eating.
kashiruvana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 34 and my mom still gives up the last piece. Usually to my kids, but also to me if they're not around. :.)
Jucoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom lucked out then because I don't really care for cake and I'll usually only eat half of my piece anyway.
ihayteyerfayce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"A mother is a person who seeing there are 4 pieces of pie for 5 people, promptly announces she never did care for pie." Tenneva Jordan
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:49:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Im 27 and the last birthday I had with my mom she told me if I wanted a cake I should have brought my own.
[deleted] ยท 1211 points ยท Posted at 16:34:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Growing up, we were really poor. My dad would often be away on business trips for months at a time.
On my birthday, we celebrated by having fresh fish (which is really expensive in the area where I grew up so we got to have fresh fish around twice a year). My mom cut me a big piece of fish where there weren't many bones. I told her that we had to share the fish evenly so I tried giving her half what she gave me. She refused repeatedly saying that she didn't like it, and that the fish head and stomach was her favourite. As a kid, I thought "oh okay then, if that's the case..."
Years later I had some fish head and stomach for myself and it was absolutely disgusting...
Brb, gotta call my mummy.
Inevitablename ยท 316 points ยท Posted at 18:13:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is actually a Korean folk story about a mother and son relevant to that. The mother and son are very poor and when they eat fish, the mother only eats the heads and the tail. She tells her son, "These are my favorite parts of the fish."
The son grows up and gets married, and is excited to buy fish for his mother for dinner. He tells his wife to specially save the head and tail for his mother. His wife is uncertain but he insists.
Finally, the adult son proudly presents the fish head and tail to his mother, the best he can buy her. She looks over at him, sighs, and says, "You're an idiot."
I'm not kidding. I think that's how the folk story ends. At least that's how my parents told it to me.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 18:20:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahahahaha. I love that ending.
Blinky_OR ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 20:42:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard that story, but I have a Korean mother and I believe it.
Inevitablename ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 20:50:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are some really funny ones that aren't particularly whimsical or fairytale esque. (i have a few books that are collections of fairytales and folk tales.) My favorite is probably the one about the three sons who notice their widowed mother is cold all the time. One night, one brother wakes up and notices their mother sneaking out of the house. He follows her and watches her wade through a cold river to get to the house of a widower in their village, where she spends the night before coming back through the cold river in the early morning. Hence why she is always cold.
The brothers discuss the situation privately and make a little stepping stone bridge in the river so that their mom can get laid. She is no longer chilled by the river :)
Anyway I much prefer that to the depressing one about people who leave the elderly in a valley to die... That's another famous one
thedude346 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:12:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Go on...
Inevitablename ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 21:38:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of those folktales are really grim ones about filial piety. That one is about a village that is having a terribly difficult winter with limited amounts of food. The working adults come to the conclusion that in order for them and their children to survive, they will have to sacrifice the elders, who no longer contribute to the labor of the village. They make the difficult decision to carry the elders up a mountain and then down into a valley (something involving carrying the elderly on their backs).
One man carries his elderly parent and deposits the parent, and begins to take off the harness that he used to carry his parent to also leave it behind, when his son pipes up and says, "Don't forget that. I'll need that for you one day." Ashamed, the man picks up his parent and brings the parent back to the village.
Just to show I'm not making this shit up, here is a citation.
bricked3ds ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:26:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Respect your elders because karma, got it!
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:53:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
dextroz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:22 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The eyeballs thing is a common belief.
Kev-bot ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:38:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you tell me you love fish head and tail and always eat the fish head and tail, I'm going to fucking believe you.
-del2phi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a mindreader, so I tend to believe what people tell me. Their fault for lying to me if I believe them.
dextroz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:39 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good luck in marriage.
Icon_Crash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Based on what little I know about Korean Folk stories by watching Korean Sex Comedies, I'd say that's an accurate retelling.
Mr_forgetfull ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 17:41:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I also grew up poor, my mom would pretend to not be hungry so me and my brothers could have our fill.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:43:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:(
Mr_forgetfull ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:55:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hurt me so hard when I realized it as an adult.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:11:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Treasure your parents, they don't have much time left.
Be the best you can be to your kids, you're all they have in this world.
supersurg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when I realized that my mom was doing this as a kid. Now that I have my own kids, I never deny them anything I'm eating. They can have all the bacon, McDonald's fries, steak, ice cream, WhichWich they want from my plate. I really don't get people that yell at their kids over food, there are bigger issues to deal with.
woodcarbuncle ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:58:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You gotta have it done right. Look up Curry fish head or Fish maw soup, especially the former.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:00:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oooh okay.
The way she prepared it was the typical Asian steamed fish method. So it was very light, with natural herbs and seasonings for taste.
faymouglie ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:21:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even steamed there's nothing better than a delicious fish cheek.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:23:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to have to look into that.
Throwzway2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah roasted salmon head? Hiooo
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:24:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All these new food possibilities.
Gotta try 'em all!
Penguinfire ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:40:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly though, the head and the stomach are exactly my favorite parts of the fish.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:43:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How do you prepare it?
Penguinfire ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:51:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Steamed and topped with green onion, soy sauce, hot peppers
Steamed and topped with Asian chile sauce
Fried with salt (maybe pepper)
Boiled to make miso fish soup
Boiled to make light fish soup
Just off the top of my head
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Penguinfire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:02:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The miso soup, light soup, and first steamed option are pretty light. They all retain the natural flavor of the fish.
OleumPetroleum ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:55:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
damn, who's mincing onions?
GiantsRTheBest2 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:14:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your dad was on paid business trips for months at a time and you guys were still poor? I mean I know it's possible but usually jobs that send you out on months at a time pay relatively well. Unless it was like a menial job like construction but even those paid pretty well.
super_swede ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:28:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"A several months long business trip" is just another mom-lie for "Dad's in prison again".
aircavrocker ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:53:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or "Dad's with his other family"
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:19:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The business trips weren't paid for. He was working with a couple of mates on their own IT company that required them to travel to other countries.
ConorYEAH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ask for money, she sounds like a soft touch.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4wvz6z/whats_the_most_common_lie_told_by_mothers/d6akaiv
Ilikeshinythings223 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hope that you look after your mom and bought some fish with your firsr paycheck.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bought my parents some good old chutoro sashimi.
Saxopwn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Years later? Of course it tasted disgusting- it was rotten!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:37:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Give it to the right people and it's probably considered a delicacy!
Sirscotola ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What if she actually did like it?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:44:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's possible. But after my dad's company took off, I never saw her eat fish head/stomachs again.
Sirscotola ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh ok
HOOTERS_REJECT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favorite story here. How is your mom now?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:07:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She's doing great, so is my dad. Just bought a new apartment in the heart of Tokyo. I'm about to go visit them in a couple weeks.
HOOTERS_REJECT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It sounds like you have a great family. Good on all of you. Can I suggest you make your mom a card and thank her for all she's done? She would cherish that forever.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:27:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am currently attending college in the states, every mothers day I mail her a card and always bring some gifts from the states back home. Not just for her, but my dad as well of course.
iamerror87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Filipino by chance? I was doing some renovations for some Filipino folks who were a friend of my boss. One day the mother of the household(there was a married man and woman, it was either his or her mom) told me "Tomorrow you bring no lunch. Every day you eat sandwiches. Why? Ill cook you a lunch. im thinking "Fucking right, I love trying new foods and |I love other cultures foods, so why not. Never had Philippine food."
Next day at lunch I was served a fishhead and some weird bubble tea which tasted gross. Sorry But I just could NOT eat that stuff. I had no idea how to even start on working on the fish head, I had a few nibbles of what very little meat I could get off it and then my coworker ate it for me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, I'm ethnically 100% Chinese. But we peeps over here in Asia, doesn't matter where you go, eat very very VERY strange things most, if not all, of the time. And 99.99% of the time, Westerners will not be able to handle it.
TotalMadness1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I CCAME LAUGHS NOT A KICK TO FEELS
whatitiswhassup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This made me so happy!!! Please give her a call and tell her she makes me happy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You got it!
sunnynorth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In our family, the joke was always that grandma (then mom, now me because I'm the mom) preferred burnt toast and chicken wings. It's fun to see that same element in different cultures.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Chicken wings are consumed by the tonne in America.
Unless you mean wing tips? They also seem to be a delicacy in China.
AndGraceToo ยท 310 points ยท Posted at 16:50:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was pretty broke one week, but wanted to treat my 2 kids. We went to Pizza Hut and I got them 2 personal pizzas and nothing for myself (what cash I had left I needed for gas). Oldest kid doesn't realize until the waitress sat their plates down and he's like, "miss, you forgot my mom's." And I'm like, "no, it's ok, I'm not hungry yet, so you guys eat your pizza and enjoy!" And he just kept side eyeing me during the meal. He saved me his crusts. Sobbed when they went to bed that night.
just2quixotic ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 18:26:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For the price of two personal pizzas, couldn't you have bought a small or medium and shared?
ambivouac ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 18:59:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Each kid getting their own personal pizza carries extra "special"ness for them, trust me.
Source: dad of two kids.
just2quixotic ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 19:09:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I understand that, but there is also the hide from the kids that I am starving myself so you can eat because we are so desperately poor aspect. Get a small or medium, and mom could nibble on one slice the whole meal and keep the eldest from realizing...
dreamweirddreams ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:33:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was to treat the kids specifically. I remember how excited I got being able to go to McDonald's and get a small fry all to myself once a month instead of having to share it with two siblings.
Invisible-Elephant ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:09:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even though a large split three ways has more fries for each of you and your siblings than the small you were so happy to have? (McD's large fries is about 4x the amount of a small if I remember correctly)
I'm just saying, at my local pizza place you can get two personals for $4.50 apiece totaling $9 before tax, or a single large for $8 before tax. The large is at least 2x the food of two personals.
dreamweirddreams ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:49:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It wasn't about getting more food, it was about not having to share something. When you grow up poor you share EVERYTHING. Sure, I may have gotten more when getting a large fries to split, but that's not special. That's just having another thing to share with my siblings.
Put it this way. Would you rather spend three dollars to buy a tub of Ice cream when out at a parlor with two friends, which gets you more, or would you rather buy the cones which are one a piece and not only that but you get to pick your own flavor?
Invisible-Elephant ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:29:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I'm a broke twenty-something with a service job and little sympathy for my friends' palates, so if I was buying, I'd get the cheaper, larger tub and make them eat whatever flavor I chose, b/c money doesn't grow on trees. But I do get your point of how a small child might not be so focused on the economics of a given situation.
dextroz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:47 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think the point he's making is that sometimes going 90% of the making-them-happy from 10% is more than good enough. The extra 10% by giving them personal pizzas while you starved and cried at night took away from that 110% happiness you were giving to your kids. It's diminishing returns after a certain point. Your kids would not have cared for personal size 2 minutes after the pizza came in. Besides, you can always personalize half the pizza for each in a medium as well. OP didn't do anything wrong - there's just a slightly more practical way to consider with no tangible downside and equal happiness.
celticchrys ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 20:52:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There seem to be a lot of people who do not have a goal of teaching their children critical thinking.
1robotsnowman ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:04:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes, to make things fun, parents skip the critical thinking teachable moment. Childhood is such a small window where small things can make big memories, so why not indulge that sometimes? If someone wants to let their kids believe in the magic of Santa or splurge on something dumb once in a while because it makes their kids smile, why not? It doesn't mean that the rest of the year is lacking in important, heavy life lessons.
Red_sled ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:22:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well put
earthgarden ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:33:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep this is what I would do. Or treat them in some other way.
For example I used to get a pack of instant cocoa for a dollar, the kind where you get 8-10 packs of instant cocoa. Get a couple things of whipped cream, store brand is usually 2/$4. Make the cocoa, put a huge amount of whipped cream on top, and kids are in heaven. All for only $5. In the winter my kids called them 'mocha-mochas' and in the summer (cool the cocoa) they called them 'cocochinos' LOL
just2quixotic ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:50:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
add some stale mini marshmallows and I am with you. (They have to be stale. Fresh ones just melt.)
IONASPHERE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:21:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Huh. So that's why mine always sucked. TIL
VoiceSC ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:59:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your kids are adorable.
earthgarden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
they really are. They're all grown now but were pretty fun kids
AndGraceToo ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 20:06:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was ok, the pizza was their treat, and I wasn't going to screw them on the small thing they were looking forward to.
cp24eva ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:52:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I sure hate when dust gets in my eyes. Makes them all watery and stuff.
EDIT: I can't stop thinking about this. I feel so bad now. You are a great parent. Makes me want to work harder.
AndGraceToo ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:05:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Things are a little better, and thank you so much.
Maplethtowaway ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:04:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, I hope you're in better times. Although I don't have kids, I didn't have any money in my bank account for three days straight. I remember surviving on 3 slices of pizza, one salad, and one bottle of mountain dew. It's hard.
StrwbryLuv77 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:55:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
What a good, sweet loving mama. I'm crying now for you. I hope things are better these days!
AndGraceToo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:10:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That they are, and thank you, so much. โบ๏ธ
thebarbershopwindow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:46:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents always tell me that it absolutely sucked having kids in communist Poland because you simply couldn't get many of the cool things that Western kids could.
I don't waste money, but late night pizza runs are probably one of my favourite things as a family. I remember driving all the way into the nearest big city at 2am just to go for pizza with my kids and my wife, just because my son is an idiot that suggested that we do it and his dad is an even bigger idiot that agreed.
Gamerred_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:39:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Argh, I came here to see hilarious lies that mothers tell. All it's doing is making me feel guilty about he I take all this shit for granted. A personal pizza is like "meh" to me. I would want like breadsticks or something with it.
I think if you raise them right, poor kids will grow up to be the best kids. (Although a lot of those parents are bad). I can definitely tell as a middle class kid that I'm spoiled and not as grateful as I should be.
Attack_Of_The_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:37:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've been there too with my son, you're a great Mum :)
Raven_7306 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:42:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
THIS THREAD IS GETTING ME REALLY EMOTIONAL Ninja edit: AND YOURS WAS THE ONE THAT MADE ME CRY
AndGraceToo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:10:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh Jesus, I'm sorry!!!! Things are better now, I promise! Don't cry!
Raven_7306 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'd better be better! I starting crying a little and I'm just like WHY AM I CRYING and UGH! I'm glad everything is better now!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AndGraceToo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:13:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I tried that once...it was a waste. The kids didn't like it, and I did a fantastic job on it, if I may toot my own horn. They're picky AF. Plus, part of the treat was going in to sit down at the restaurant like "real people" according to my elder boy. I guess you're not real if you don't go in? I dunno, kid logic.
But things are better now. But...they still don't like my homemade pizza, sadly.
Tigerzombie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:19:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yesterday I made chicken nuggets and fries from scratch. The kids ate the fries, took a bite of the chicken and wouldn't eat more. They can pack away a lot of fast food nuggets but mine are gross?
okaycupcake ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you are poor you eat what you get. Beggars can't be choosers.
RegretDesi ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:41:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try telling that to a kid.
okaycupcake ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:54:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it was how I was raised. My mom put food on the table and if I didn't eat it that was that. I starved.
GAGirlChild ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:13:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my family, no one takes the last piece. We call it the "[item of food] of shame" because you will be shamed if you eat it, apparently. So the food ends up getting split into smaller and smaller sections, and finally mom designates someone to eat the last bit.
People who marry into our family think this is ridiculous, my cousin's husband in particular. He just takes the last piece. It's a relief, no more polite arguing.
spaceloper ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:21:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god the polite arguing that never goes anywhere. My family is exactly like this too but at least there's me, the trash can, who always eat the last piece because everyone's too busy fussing about not eating it. You're welcome.
GAGirlChild ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:39:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You da real MVP
msanthropologist ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:46:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god something like this happens quietly in my home. My husband and I both refuse to take the last of something. More times than not, I'll just leave it for him. But then he sees it and decides to be polite and fair, so he takes a bit of it and leaves the rest. Our daughter comes along and does the same thing, except the amount that's left is now super small (but not technically gone) and nowhere near a normal portion. So then we end up with boxes of cereal containing a teaspoon of cereal, or a plate with 1/2 of a bite of cake left on it that no one will eat and eventually goes bad and I just throw it away. It's like a silent little polite war going on in the house. I don't blame my husband for it, because his dad used to scream at him or beat him and his brother if they took the last of something.
GAGirlChild ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:11:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa . . . that's taking things to a whole new level. That's really horrible.
trigedakru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel for your husband... :/ Still happens though less with the hitting these days.
If people could please just give me the exact amount of food they want me to eat and then leave me alone that'd be great because it makes me SO anxious if we're sharing a packet of something or whatever and no one has said how much they want.
maybe_yes_but_no ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:14:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eight o'clock and the lights went out,
I reached for the last pork chop
and got seven forks in my hand.
GAGirlChild ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:00:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where's that from?
maybe_yes_but_no ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad, but I'm certain he didn't make it up.
AcresWild ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:47:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You read the title and saw the best in it. I love people like you so much
ManicLord ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:08:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm 25 and mother still leaves stuff uneaten in case I want some.
I can get some if we run out, woman. The house is literally in front of the supermarket. Eat whatever you want.
Also, I love you.
Such an annoying woman, I tell you.
Edit: front, not from.
Baron_von_chknpants ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:46:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
33, she still tries to make sure I'm eating right.
Woman, I have a child now, of course I'm eating right. But I'm not going to turn down a roast dinner on a Sunday or homemade cakes and tea whilst you give your grandson cuddles so I can nap.
MuppetHolocaust ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:16:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't really count if she ate the first 11 pieces though.
Pullsn0punches ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:05:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I realized I had a really good mom when it occurred to me (when I was like 21) that the most selfish thing she ever did to us as kids was tell us that artichoke hearts were bad for children so that she could eat them all.
cloud3321 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:08:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:'(
Gisschace ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:56:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This never changes, my mum is currently planning a family trip for her 70th. She keeps asking me if everything she chooses is alright, and asking me what I'd like to do. I keep telling her I want to do what she wants to do and I'll just go along with it as it's her trip.
Her brain can't handle that, 40 years of motherhood have conditioned her to put everyone else before herself. She just says she'll ask my sister and see if everything is alright with her too.
When we're on it I am going to make her choose everything and see her get increasingly uncomfortable with trying to work out if her option keeps us all happy at once.
cmerksmirk ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:27:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why not plan some nice things for her? Especially if she's not used to being put first
Gisschace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, she knows what she wants to do (like go to the zoo) but she's just putting us first. She will work it out, but if we tell her one thing she will put that that first so I'm not.
cmerksmirk ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:21:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Still sounds like she'd appreciate someone doing something nice for her. Or maybe just say something she wants to do as what you want to do.
Gisschace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah I've got this, she knows what she wants to do (it was her idea to go on the trip to this place in the first place). She's just going to check what we all want to do before she makes her suggestions so she can take them into account. By not giving her other ideas (which she'll prioritise) she'll just so what she wants to do.
swordo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
if your parents are anything like mine, you'll have better luck planning the entire out yourself and then modifying it with your mom. unless she is on top of things, no 70yr old i know can use excel/slack/collaboration tools that well. pretty much if you see her get uncomfortable, she probably needs some help...(hint: your help)
Gisschace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Nah she's shit hot at this stuff, she's actually a natural with technology, whereas my dad falls to pieces and gets angry. She is really good at googling to finding out to do stuff, we've never told her too but she just has the common sense.
For example I gave her an old iPad last year (before she was just using a desktop) she Insisted she didn't need it but I insisted she should have it. I went home and she texted me a few hours later (from the iPad) to say she was currently syncing her contacts from Hotmail (I didn't hint she should do that).
Give her something technical and she will figure it out. She planned a 4 week trip around New Zealand taking in 8 different locations for her 65th. Googling things and booking trips is her forte.
TheBaconThief ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:29:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And just remember how lucky you are that you can say "most" and "always" in that sentence. Because it isn't always the case for more people than you think.
I don't say it bust anyone's bubble, just to be appreciative.
notkristian ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:54:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's love.
Gliste ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why the ast
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have to contest the last piece between me my mom and my brother
Ex_Fat_32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But my mom - "Save that last piece for your father..."
TenNinetythree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents would gladly take the last piece if I liked it!
MamaMurphySucks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if anyone would want the ast piece.
RichardMNixon42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This is disgusting, you wouldn't like it," said of desserts that my mother loved.
Ubername_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most....
ollyollyollyoxenfree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Due to health restrictions there are a lot of things my mother can't eat -- sugar, flour, some kinds of dairy to name a few. She always has to measure out specific portions of everything and basically never gets to just indulge in good food. Never stops her from busting her ass going all out making gourmet-level stuff for us. She's a fantastic cook and she can never have any of the wonderful food she makes, but that smile on her face when she sees how much her family is enjoying the meal makes me feel like a million bucks.
MegaPiglatin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, my mom gets a little protective of her food....
The_Fad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 25 years old. My mother LOVES cheeseburgers, to the point where if she is offered a burger with no cheese more often than not she will claim she isn't hungry even though we know damn well she hasn't eaten and will just secretly sneak some other food later that night when we're all distracted.
When I was much younger we were very poor, so just as a small effort to stretch our groceries further my mom and I, when we had burgers, would split a slice of cheese.
To this day that woman will not have a cheeseburger at home with me unless I split a slice of cheese with her.
It's completely ridiculous, but I love her to death.
awoelt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Telling your kids Santa is real isn't a joke. It's for the kids because you love them.
InvaderChin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not so great when you find out at 26 that she's done it all these years and she resents you for it, blaming you for the loss of a hypothetical life she's crafted in her head that she thinks was an actual possibility if I hadn't absolutely begged and pleaded and cried and scream and practically threw a tantrum asking to be born so I could ruin her happy future.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Meanwhile, my family always eats incredibly fast, but without a fail, one piece of something delicious is always left behind. We will eat an entire box of chocolate in 3 minutes and then the last piece stays there for 3 days until someone decides it needs to be eaten and it might as well be them.
It's a competition to eat the fastest, then to see who can hold out the longest. It's really weird.
RedditIsDumb4You ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just remembered when my mom went out of her way to beat me until she fractured a finger (had a ring on it) hitting me and then started kicking me for hurting her hand.
ColorTimesTen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sad story time.
Growing up, we were super poor, always just me and my mom. My mom started dating this well-off guy when I was about 10, and long story short, he visited, threw out tons of our food, declaring it "awful, cheap stuff "you shouldn't be eating this crap". Then used ALL our food stamps for the month on cookouts, lobster and expensive steaks, then left her a week later without paying her back.
We had -NO- food left, just seasonings, condiments, taco shells, a couple ramen cups etc. for nearly 3 weeks, until her new stamps came in. We scraped cushion change and bottle returns (like 4 bottles, all we had left) just to buy a loaf of bread. I had to ask the neighbor for spare change so we could get some peanut butter.
At this point, we had one can of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup left. It was the last "nice", packaged thing we had, after 2 weeks of living on peanut butter sandwiches, toast, freezy pops, and ramen cups.
My mom and I both fought over who would eat it. By that, I mean neither of us would. She had a desperate need to feed her kid, and I had a need to act like everything was fine and I wasn't hungry, because I knew my mom blamed herself for what happened.
That can sat in the barren cupboard for as long as we lived there. We left it as a reminder of how bad it can get.
aero_nerdette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a story about "the last piece".
When my husband met my parents for the first time, he brought a homemade apple pie, because I'd told him that it was my mom's favorite. Each person (my parents, husband, me, and my sister) each got a piece of pie for dessert, and there was one piece left. My mother hoarded that slice somewhere in the back of the fridge until she thought we'd all forgotten about it, and then ate it herself. She will never give up the last slice of apple pie now that we're grown.
irockspecialneeds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Found the mom.
Bethkulele ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"The crusts are my favorite part!"
Azusanga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was old enough to use the oven and cook/bake by myself, it became ingrained that you never, ever, ever take the last piece. That's mom's piece. Last piece of cake, brownie, crumble, crisp, casserole, lasagna. No matter what, unless it's been there for a few days, mom always gets the last piece.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess my Mom once got fed up with me stealing all her food. One time I heard her eating something that smelled delicious and crunchy, so I went up and asked her what she was eating. She said "my teeth". Next time I lost a tooth I tried to eat it. It wasn't nearly as appetizing as I thought it would be.
serrompalot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
With me and my mom, it's a back and forth of "No no no, I don't need to eat it, you have it!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have to plan and strategize during meals with my mom because we both love the same things and are not willing to give them up; for example, the crispiest fries or the pizza slices with slightly burned cheese at the edge of the crust. Every meal with her is like stepping into the thunderdome.
JDForrest129 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When my brother and I were younger, my father(not his) lost his job for several months and we were very poor. I remember having Dinty Moore Beefstew 1 night for dinner and my mom giving me and my brother all of her meat chunks because "she didn't like them".
Years later, I am now a father and it clicked with me 1 day that she was doing this to make sure My brother and I were getting the protein and extra food that growing boys need and she would go hungry.
StrikeAnywherePanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/raisedbynarcissists
swordo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
not my story but at church, i was in the office one day talking to the secretary (think 60+ yr old). we somehow got to the topics of mothers and she mentioned that when she was younger, her mom also said that, gave her kids the meaty pieces and took the bones for herself. time rolls around for mother's day and as a gift, the kids gave her the bones thinking it was her preference. the story ended there since my friend started to cry
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't want a ass piece either tho.
marcAnthem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Looking back, i always wondered why mom never finished the last (best) piece. She'd always give it to me. Now I know. Thanks mom kisses fingers, points to sky
Tubaka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Either she was offering you the last piece of bacon or the ass end of a loaf of bread.
Fenrirsulfr22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where can I get a mom like that?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
or maybe they're still trying to get rid of the baby weight
pro_ajumma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My husband always saves me the last piece. Then I will give it to the kid. I don't know what that says about us...
Psirocking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents would do that a lot. A lot of times I wouldn't even want the last piece because I was full but they would think I was making it up so they could have it.
fish1479 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ugh. giving tree.
cantmakeusernames ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They the real MVP's.
supershittyusername ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even if my children have just eaten a meal or finished their own treats, I will 99% of the time let them have the last bites of what I have. Growing up, my mother never shared treats with me. She had special sodas and cakes and things hidden from us while my siblings and I ate ketchup sandwiches and drank tap water.
Imperator_Knoedel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I'm 22 and I actively have to trick my mother into getting what she wants instead of just going along with whatever I or my sister want and eat around that.
Sekular ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Last piece for the child, but the biggest piece if for dad. You know better than taking that one. Mom will turn on you quick if you go after it.
VagCookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom would do this, then make us feel guilty when we accepted. One of my clearest memories from being five was my mom giving me the refried beans off her plate when I wanted seconds and then giving me this look and said "I guess I won't have lunch then." I was so wracked with guilt I couldn't bring myself to eat them but did so because if I didn't I'd make everything worse... then I went into my room and sobbed for starving my mother.
Prometheus720 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate that my mom does this. I'm an adult. Just be honest with me. I don't need it. I'm just going to finish it if you won't because I don't like wasting things or putting away the last 1/10 of something.
UltraSpecial ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom loves me, but she never gives me the last piece.
HyperMidgit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Naw B thats both mom and dad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My MIL routinely has "extra groceries" when we visit that she says she won't use in time. My mom would clean her cabinets out for us if we even hinted at being short on food. Moms are super heroes.
krispykremedonuts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love my kids but I will sneak that last piece for myself. I learned this was terrible when my son lost his mind so now we share the last one. Sometimes.
romps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:22:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She made two and ate one in the kitchen.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom had a slice of pie last night when we went out for dinner. My sister wanted a bite. My mom ate 3 more bites and offered her the entire rest of the slice. Offered it up to the rest of the table when she declined. And she's on a major dessert kick so I know she wanted it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
obviousflamebait ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:46:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is the real reason in any family that isn't desperately poor. All these weak morons are sobbing to themselves about their moms' "sacrifice" of trying to stay thin and attractive.
bootybear69 ยท 243 points ยท Posted at 16:56:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I had a birthday party when I was a kid, my mom would take allllll of the presents that people brought and put them in a bag. She called it a "grab bag". Then at the end of the party, every kid would take something out of the bag home with them leaving me with no presents. She told me that all birthday parties were supposed to be like that. You can imagine I was slightly peeved when I finally realized
laffydaffy24 ยท 161 points ยท Posted at 20:00:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This would bother me if I were one of the other parents, since I picked out a present for that kid and paid for it.
mirshe ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 20:20:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I was thinking - I know that I would've been offended as someone invited, since I try to put a lot of thought into a good gift, even if it's someone I don't know very well. To just say "fuck that, everyone gets someone else's gift" is inconsiderate at best.
scroom38 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:31:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on the age, the kids might have just said "I got a neat toy out of a grab bag" and the parent didn't question it.
CopperTodd17 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:29:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unless they accidentally got given back the exact same toy they had given to the birthday child
BlazedPandas ยท 106 points ยท Posted at 16:57:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn that's shitty
RamblyJambly ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 19:27:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even shittier when you consider that all the other parents were fine with it
PM_ME_UR_WEIRD_HOBBY ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 19:47:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you know why she did that?
bootybear69 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 00:59:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Because it taught you to be grateful for what you had". Fuck right off mum, I'm 6 years old and want my damn toys
PM_ME_UR_WEIRD_HOBBY ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:08:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's ridiculous reasoning. I can't believe someone would have forgotten so much what it was like to be a child, to be so disconnected from their own child. I hope you get many cool gifts for your birthday now.
RadSpaceWizard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:59:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but what was the real reason?
blown-upp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:40:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/u/bootybear69 plz
supershinythings ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 22:33:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Dad stopped giving christmas gifts to the neighbor kid when he learned that the gifts were being withheld until the kid 'earned' them, months later. A gift is a GIFT. The kid should not have to pay for his own christmas presents. It really upset him to have his gift used to manipulate that poor kid like that. They were 7th Day Adventists or some shit like that who apparently didn't do Christmas, so gifts were not something they wanted their kid to get used to.
mariusvamp ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:32:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Poor kid. This reminds me of a family I worked that would manipulate their son to spend his gift money on them to buy fast/junk food or to pay bills. I've seen them return gifts too in exchange for something to benefit themselves. He was such a sweet boy that he was proud to do it. I worked with them for probably 3-4 years. They even treated "necessities" like they were gifts. The parents always told the kid he didn't deserve new clothes/things because he never took care of anything. All of his clothing had holes and stains and he was constantly made fun of in school. They had money to spend on stupid shit like mom going to BINGO every week. They were always spending their money on luxuries that I couldn't afford with my $12 an hour pay. I often made joking comments like "man I wish I could afford that." Sucking off of government money and getting disability checks for themselves (purely capable of working) and for their child (with ADHD). Im sorry, but if you're capable of walking and sitting and watching Maury and Family Feud all day, the you should be able to find a desk job and answer phones or something. Also, I'm not sure why having ADHD grants you an $800 check. Anyways, this was just one family - I saw similar instances so often. I'm a little off topic and have started ranting, but damn. Have a good day!
blown-upp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:43:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...and that's why I could never do work like that (i'm guessing social work/counseling?) and have the utmost respect for those that do.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:14:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My aunt found out recently that the Xbox 360 she'd gotten for my step brother was given to his 4 year old brother by my step mom because he wouldn't quit band to join a sport.
Project2r ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:11:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of something from my life.
I collect comics. have since i was a kid. but when i was young, I had no money so my parents would pay for it.
Then they would take it away as punishment, for indefinite periods of time. that would make me go looking for it. Then they realized I found em, and ripped them all up. When I complained they said they had bought them and it was their right.
So, we worked out a system where I used to do small chores around the house for very little money (go get the newspaper at the end of the driveway, do the dishes, vacuum the rug, stuff like that) and my parents would pay me like, 25 cents per task. I could save up like 3 bucks a week if i was enterprising.
So I would take my 3 bucks a week, and go buy comics, which were, at the time, like 75 cents a comic. busted my 8 year old ass to buy four comics a week. but they were mine.
then my parents would get mad about this or that and then rip them all up saying they i was wasting my money on trivial things.
supershinythings ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:28:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is the kind of thing that comes back to them when they are old. The way I was treated as a child has a direct bearing on how I treat my parents today.
Comic books were how I learned to read. By the time I went to kindergarden, I could already read because I read comics at home. That parlayed into a lifetime of academic achievement. Your family just tossed them out as junk? The one thing that motivated you to work so hard around the house? Those comics were GOLD and they took them away from you just to feel powerful. What morons.
I'm sorry about your shitty parents. They completely missed the point about how to motivate and educate children. Comics are one of the cheapest and easiest ways to do that.
EllaSea ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 18:31:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've had a lot of crappy birthdays but that really pisses me off.
DonJovar ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:25:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So what happened when you went to your first birthday party at someone else's place and found out that the birthday kid got ALL the presents?
frossenkjerte ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 18:47:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you need help disposing of her body?
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:53:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I'd say that's just your mom being a really shitty fucking prick in the first place. Not funny and it doesn't teach your kid any type of ideals or anything. There was really no reason for her to do that unless she wanted to be mean.
GoredonTheDestroyer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's possible that happened to his mom at one point, and her parents told her that same thing, so she figured it's normal.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:45:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh. Well I've seen moms do shit like this to their kids and it can really affect some. Maybe it wouldn't hurt an adult but a kid is different.
a-r-c ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 18:56:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
what the fuck did your mom think she was doing with this pinko shit?
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:18:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad's wife would do shit like this, apparently I was the most spoiled kid in the world and all the other kids had nothing.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:45:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well this one makes sense. Its not your mom but your dad's wife.
Raven_7306 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:55:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm peeved right now reading!
355over113 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 23:29:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hi Peeved Right Now Reading, I'm dad (not mom).
[deleted] ยท 83 points ยท Posted at 15:58:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not a lie per se, but another comment reminded me of this.
I convinced myself that I was adopted and asked "Where did I come from?" Obviously meaning what where my roots.
The response "I'll tell you when you're older" made me think she didn't want me to know and so I took this as a clear sign of my adoption.
When I did get older, I realised what it meant.
Wehadsuchbighopes ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:50:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Being the youngest of four, I was told I was my mother's "precious surprise gift." When I was about 20 I was telling a friend about it. My mom overheard and said " I don't remember saying that - I must have been drinking and in a very good mood." Thanks, Mom.
Polite_Insults ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:37:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant username... That sucks to hear though
Project2r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:13:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wait - so are you adopted or not?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
probably not
[deleted] ยท 295 points ยท Posted at 15:53:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I brought you in this world and I can take you out.
Come at me, Mom.
Ubername_ ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:08:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But whenever I try to take my kids out of this world I get arrested for child abuse and/or attempted manslaughter. So unfair
JustHereForPka ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:21:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You cannot attempt manslaughter
RadSpaceWizard ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:19:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not with that attitude.
JustHereForPka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:14:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guess not but attempted manslaughter is an oxymoron
PureChaosDI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Woosh
JustHereForPka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
?
ALittleFishNamedOzil ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:04:25 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
(เธ อ ยฐ อูอ อกยฐ)เธ
mollieemerald ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:38:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For my mom, it was always "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out and make another one just like you."
LieLaLie ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:45:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was a chemistry professor.
Yes she can.
rottingtrain ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:30:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She'll suck you right back in.
RadSpaceWizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Listen Milton, this isn't Paradise Lost, okay?
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 20:23:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HOOLY SHIT THATS FUCKED UP
Raven_7306 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:56:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom says same thing to me. At 19, I still get it when she gets pissed.
RadSpaceWizard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:23:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Spend an hour in /r/raisedbynarcissists and get back to us.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:06:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not as full ked up as some of the stuff on there, sit it's still threatening murder
PMme_bad_things ยท 1604 points ยท Posted at 13:02:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is your daddy
ConflictingDuality ยท 834 points ยท Posted at 15:41:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh.
-Aech_ ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 16:08:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did my egg just hatch?! What pokemon did I get this time?!?!
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:44:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's always fucken pidgy...
Lolicon_des ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:15:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, I got a Rattata a while back!
bad_at_hearthstone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:47:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it in the top percentage of all Rattata?
_TheGreatDekuTree_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:20:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dat pidgy candy though
_Lady_Deadpool_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:22:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wish I could turn that useless shit into stardust. I'm tired of my page of beedril and pidgeot.
_TheGreatDekuTree_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:32:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Helpful tip
Collect a metric shit ton of pidgy and pidgy candy, pop a lucky egg and mass evolve them, you can evolve about 63-65 in the span of 30min (lucky egg timer) and that nets 1k exp an evolution
-Aech_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:20:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck
Z0bie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just another fucking Zubat.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
More like is the xth egg I just hatched going to finally be shiny?
ksemel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An XL Therapy!
DCMurphy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:58:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A Cubone. Because they never had a dad.
Alburio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:28:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Im_your_Dad_AMA ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:44:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
Alburio ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:09:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I realized my pocket decided to post for me, but thanks Dad. Have you picked up your cigarettes yet?
Im_your_Dad_AMA ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:54:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's a huge ass line, I'll be back in a few
SphericalBasterd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, just don't rob a bank on your way home this time.
DarksteelPenguin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:14:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And now /u/ConflictingDuality's top comment by far is "Oh."
ConflictingDuality ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know right? And my comment was basically a copy-paste rendition of countless other "Oh." comments! WTF I guess you really don't need creativity to rake in that sweet sweet karma. Just timing lol
Edit: PS: by far is putting it lightly
Stacia_Asuna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
3IV DRATINI #InstinctLife
Fire_away_Fire_away ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry Quentin
WarlordTim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's me ur dad
whirl-pool ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:43:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mishearing..."who's your daddy".
tossinthisshit1 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 16:39:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
kids of single moms wonder how they have so many uncles... and why they don't see em anymore
KitchenSwillForPigs ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:08:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That sucks. A friend of mine didn't know his dad wasn't his dad until high school. The worst part is, everyone knew. It was his cousin (2 years younger than him) who let it slip. She thought he knew. It really hit him hard.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:10:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who's your daddy?
PMme_bad_things ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:15:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ask your mom.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:31:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did, and she says she's not him.
DaddyRocka ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:16:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry I'm late. What did I miss kiddo?
Backstop ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:01:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
While you were sittin' home alone at age thirteen, your real daddy was dying.
Sorry you didn't see him.
But I'm glad we talked.
suite307 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:54:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What does he do?
mproj ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:07:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
More like her daddy.
Legate_Rick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it a lie if she doesn't really know?
Im_your_Dad_AMA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:44:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No this is
bossmt_2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:26:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
While you were sitting home alone at age 13. Your really daddy was dying.
shmimeathand ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:40:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom lied to me about who mine was for 15 years. This one wins my vote.
AditzuL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't stop laughing :-))))
BarneyIStinson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Russian/Slav detected.
song_pond ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
๐
honeypalomino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. I didn't find out that she'd lied about who my biological father was until I was 21. All that time, I thought the man who raised me was my father.
Thameus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What number?
2manymans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ouch
Superjerk42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, third daddy.
squid-kisses ยท 281 points ยท Posted at 14:09:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe we can go ______ tomorrow."
Anytime my kid wants to do something like swimming at 9 pm.
close_my_eyes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:56:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The grรฉรขt thing about having a pool is that when the kids want to have a pool party at midnight, they can!
HookDragger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:18:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because we know they'll forget about it.
[deleted] ยท 5049 points ยท Posted at 16:01:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Grew up in the deep south. My mom told me, when I was very young, that I couldn't drink coffee because it would turn me black.
EDIT: For those saying my mom was racist-- that's not really the conclusion I've come to from knowing her for a very long time. I think she was just blindly repeating what her parents told her when she was little. It's the deep south version of "coffee stunts your growth," as wildly inappropriate as it was in hindsight.
Unfortunately there was a quiet undercurrent of mild racism in every aspect of this part of the country, so innocent people say things that they don't quite comprehend all the time.
meat_tunnel ยท 755 points ยท Posted at 16:49:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As an Hispanic, my mom always said coffee would stunt your growth. That's why Aunt C is only 4'11".
Nikcara ยท 331 points ยท Posted at 17:11:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm white and heard this all the time growing up. Joke is on my mom though; I loved coffee as a kid and I'm still about 6" taller than her.
janisaf5 ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 17:30:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I used to tell my younger sister that her love of coffee would stunt her growth. Not only did I end up as the shortest family member, she's got a good 5" on me.
It was immensely aggravating when we were teenagers and she started asking the parents to leave the "tallest one" in charge.
Horkpork ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 18:26:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should be pissed off at the plummer or milk man or whoever the short fuck was.
janisaf5 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:45:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, I actually look a lot like my father and his female family members.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
janisaf5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah
Horkpork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So your mom isn't your real mom. Interesting. j/k I'll stop now!
crushcastles23 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:08:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If my parents left the tallest one in charge at age 10 I would have been in charge of my 18 year old sister.
dfn85 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:58:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oppositely, I hated coffee growing up. Didn't start drinking it until college, and even then it had to be milky as all hell. I stopped growing at 5ft4 in 8th grade, while the rest of my family are giants.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:53:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
6" longer too.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:06:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
More like, 2"
Nikcara ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:20:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well I'm a girl so I lack a certain length.
Unless you're talking about hair. I totally have more than 2" of hair.
KallistiTMP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I heard that growing up too, and am planning on feeding my kids lots of coffee so they stay as cute little people.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hope that's a joke.
KallistiTMP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:57:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mostly. Is it cruel to feed your kids coffee so they grow to a towering 5'2"?
billgasm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:18:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've got 6" on your mom, too
TheMeddleWall ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:29:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Plot twist, mom is only 4'5"
HyperboleJoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Joke is still on you since your mom is only 4' 6" tall herself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, it doesn't stunt your growth???
yoitsthatoneguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, why would coffee stunt growth?
Jesus-slaves ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:22:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly thought too much caffeine could stunt a child's growth but I haven't googled.
yoitsthatoneguy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:14:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, there's been plenty of research showing that there's no significant association between height and caffeine consumption.
Here's some more info from smart people.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:30:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It DOES stunt your growth.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know, I'm starting to wonder why I never asked that question my entire life.
MrShlash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know parents in other parts of the world let kids drink coffee.
null_work ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some places, sure. I mean, why not?
MrShlash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Caffiene is a drug
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When did she die?
gu3st12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Drank coffee since i was like 5. Am 6'2.
thedarkpurpleone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I wonder how much taller than 6'2 I would be if I hadn't had all that coffee and soda growing up.
ledivin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That doesn't mean it didn't stunt your growth, it just means you're taller than her...
Rockapp2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He had more coffee than you because she had to keep up with your energy as a child drinking coffee.
saucypoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
is she 4'5''?
Explains_Your_Glitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I started drinking coffee at 11, I'm 6'6" now. Explain that shit, mom.
Jayfire137 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Heard it all the time as well growing up, still started drinking coffee at like 15...grew to 6'1..wonder if I should have been 6'7 huh mom!
twitchy_taco ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:24:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My mom told me the same thing. My father would tell me behind her back though that coffee would cure my asthma. I think he did it to piss her off when I drank coffee and had the shits. It made him laugh.
I'm now 2 inches taller than my mom, still asthmatic, and my father walked out when I was 11. I also don't like coffee. Turns out I inherited my mom's intolerance and coffee makes me sleepy.
Edit: Fixed a word.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:32:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Caffeine used to be used as a sort of curative for asthmatics. Has something to do with constricting blood vessels and the airways or something.
psyclopes ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:40:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It can be used in a pinch when symptoms are flaring up to help ease some of the wheezing and painful breathing, but doesn't do anything for actually controlling asthma and you'll probably still need a rescue inhaler if the symptoms come back. Coffee and pop only work for so long.
Fabgrrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've chugged a cup of coffee or a soda while having breathing difficulties due to asthma - it helps a little.
twitchy_taco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, that's exactly what I needed, more constricting. /s
night_stocker ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:48:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah it's the frijoles and arroz that stunt your growth lol
All my cousins who were born in the US are way taller than their parents.
NeedsNewPants ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Centroamerican? Don't blame that on the coffee you guys are small ๐
meat_tunnel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's true, we are! I'm the tallest female in the family at 5'3".
schloopers ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:59:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Aunt said the same thing to me as a child. I now see her at all of 4'11", my 6'2", and I thank her. Because can you imagine if I hadn't drank coffee?!
GeoffFM ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:15:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In her defense, there was a commonly-held medical theory in our patents' youth that caffeine stunted growth in children. They probably just never read differently.
damnburglar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:58:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
White canadian guy here, mom said the same thing. I'm 6'3" or so, if coffee stunted my growth I owe it a thank you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey I have a Tia C too!
InVultusSolis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:13:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She's so short because she's Hispanic
GaryCTheBeast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm white and my grandparents always said that to me lol
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Sunshine_of_your_Lov ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I definitely thought this was true...TIL
yoitsthatoneguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ, our education system sucks so bad.
Sunshine_of_your_Lov ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
well you're right about that
null_work ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, long term coffee consumption is associated with minor bone density loss. It was believed to be more prominent in the past, so that's perhaps where this idea comes from.
The thing is, though, I'm not sure what you think any of this has to do with our education system. Are you all knowing? No? Failure of our education system, then. Such a shame.
yoitsthatoneguy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:15:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is not the point of a good education system and it is a shame that you might even think it is. Skepticism of presented information and the ability to do your own research and come up with falsifiable hypotheses should be what a good education system prides itself upon. And the amount of comments of people just saying they just now learned that coffee consumption isn't actually associated with physical stature disturbs me.
crack_a_toe_ah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That has a kernel of truth. If you give kids enough caffeine they won't sleep as much, and as a result of the lack of sleep they won't grow as much.
null_work ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Solution: stop giving your kids coffee at bedtime.
dittbub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wh..what happened to Aunt B?
Kaell311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You only say "an" if you pronounce it "ihs-Panic"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
does the C stand for cunt?
Norma5tacy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's what my Mexican mom always said. I told her being Mexican stunts your growth and drank away.
unfair_bastard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
is Aunt C only 4'11" because of malnutrition?
TheGamingOnion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But not drinking coffee will stunt your morning sanity!
Dakol_Sokol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to say that if you drink coffee and you're a kid, it will make you grow a tail...
Slacker5001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No one told me this was a lie until I was 16 or 17. I went my whole life purposely never trying coffee even though I wanted to only to find out that was a big fat lie and I was always going to be 5'1" my whole life. On the plus side I need much less caffeine to carry me through college now and know how to handle my mornings like a fucking man.
Rudolfius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My grandma told me that I would grow a tail if I drank coffee. What?
adanfime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hispanic here, too. I was told that coffee was an "adults only" drink and I would have to wait to grow up.
Of course, I looked up "adults only drinks" on the internet year later and... stuff wasn't pretty.
itswags98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Lebanese. My mum always told me that coffee grew mustaches. I was terrified.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmother told me this. I'm almost 5'11 and a woman, so...
quidam08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently caffeine interferes with the absorption of calcium. So it's not completely untrue but not exactly true either.
witchywater11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was my mom too! She'd still let me take sips of her coffee though.
A_Filthy_Mind ยท 4112 points ยท Posted at 16:32:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol. My first horrible thought was you guzzling coffee right before basketball tryouts.
[deleted] ยท 1360 points ยท Posted at 16:41:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well that reminds me of a story related to this. My mom told this old wive's tale to my brother as well. Difference between him and me is that he can't keep his fucking mouth shut.
So we're in a restaurant after church, and there's a black family sitting at one of the tables near where we're getting seated. A big one too-- looked like cousins, uncles, grandparents, the whole lot. And my brother, bless his little heart, takes one look at them and says, very loudly, "Wow momma, they must've been drinking a lot of coffee!"
They laughed for a long time. My mom, on the other hand, wanted to crawl under our table and die from embarrassment.
mtbt ยท 938 points ยท Posted at 17:29:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Southern story checks out.
veertamizhan ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:09:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Indian here, the south of USA sounds so fascinating. I would love to spend some time in a hick town, where there is just one main shopping area, one high school, where therew is a sheriff patrolling the street and the people are still racist.
[deleted] ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 18:19:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Word of advice. Don't call them hicks. That'll piss them off.
10takeWonder ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 18:28:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also, be white.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 18:41:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also, don't be not white.
flatulent_feminist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wear an American flag shirt.
charpenette ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 18:35:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can find those towns without even going to the south.
Source: live in the Midwest
InVultusSolis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:12:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Malta, IL
Goluxas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:33:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Mexico, IN. 1 gas station, 2 churches, and a 3-digit population.
Also Google street view only passes through the main road, and that's only because it's a highway.
AtariiXV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You ever been to southern IL
InVultusSolis ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:12:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you're Indian, you probably want to stay away from anywhere like that.
Or maybe you can strike up a conversation about how racist some Indians are. Common ground, you know?
swedishpenis ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:20:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Talk a bunch of shit about Pakistan and they'll love you.
zebrake2010 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:22:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'd be surprised how welcoming such a place can be at times.
ask_me_if_im_vargas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:29:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck dude, if that's all you want just go literally anywhere in Haryana.
I mean the one high school will probably be a lot shittier than the one high school in an American southern town, but other than that basically the same.
Edit: also in an American town you probably won't get away with bribing the sheriff
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OP here, this was actually in a very large city in the South. Of which there are many. I have since moved far away, to a place where the biggest town in the county has a population of 8,000.
Herecometheromeplows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are lots and lots of Indians here in the South. Don't let these foolish people dissuade you, the south is mostly not White. But, don't treat any of this like it's some old television show. It is nothing like that. Especially the younger generation (while some may parrot their parents) have generally positive attitudes towards people of color. Southerners are very friendly, many in very isolated towns may be ignorant towards you or your culture, but they won't lynch you or beat you. That's all a misconception.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 19:00:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Not gonna lie to you, the furthest south you want to be is southern ohio. Nothing good can come from foreigner's that aren't white in the south.
That sheriff; he's throwing you in jail. Those racist; they are going to hassle you and run you out of town. The main shopping area; gun shop, grocery corner store, a gas station, shooting range, and a church. Jk... Kind of.
Edit: the lack of a serious tag led me to believe people might realize this isn't a serious comment at all.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:46:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am Puerto Rican. Just came from Northern Georgia. met some southern folk that were super friendly with me. The most racist thing I heard came from a girl from Cape Cod.
InVultusSolis ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:13:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your use of semicolons confuses and infuriates me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahah sorry about that. Still not sure when to use them.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:34:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My rule of thumb is to use them where I could use a period if I wanted to, but wanted to use a longer sentence to lay out a more complete thought. So instead of saying:
You could say
yakisaki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Usually as an alternative to a period. It still needs to complete a full thought before using the semi colon. What you're looking for is a comma.
TheChinchilla914 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:16:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol shut up and visit Atlanta
hakuna_tamata ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:17:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man you're so full of shit your tears are brown.
Mapex_proM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:33:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow that's an ignorant as fuck thing to say. I live in a town as deep south as it gets in Louisiana, and while I'll be honest, racism is still a thing, but it's from such a small minority that you don't really notice it. The majority of kids at my high-school are very accepting of everybody. And honestly, most of the surrounding towns in the area are very similar, even those small hick towns, of which there actually are many.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just shocked people keep thinking I'm serious, I mean it is the worst stereotypes of the south after all. Lol.
veertamizhan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it's like the Slumdog India that some american tourists want to see.
AlonsoFerrari8 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 17:54:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Southern story checks out
johnadreams ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 20:29:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But, that's correct prescriptive grammar right?
The subject of that sentence is "the difference" and "between him and me" is a prepositional phrase modifying the subject. Prepositions use the objective form, and the objective singular first person is "me," not "I." Or am I wrong in this?
Not every time someone says "and me" is incorrect and it's a classic case of grammatical overcorrection. Note that I don't even think you should poke fun at grammar regardless, but if you're going to do it at least understand what you're doing.
null_work ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:25:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure that's a grammatical error. You would say "the difference between us," therefore "me" would be correct, no? Seems like you've hypercorrected it.
MySockHurts ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:09:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Southern story checks out.
Herecometheromeplows ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:39:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Southern and I have never heard as much casual racism here as I did when I visited my wife's family in Indiana/Illinois/Michigan. White southerners grow up, go to school, and typically work with lots of black and hispanic people. Sure racism is ingrained in the culture here, but most have actual experience with minorities. So, the younger generations are significantly more tolerant and seek diversity much, much more than their parents/grandparents. Mid-westerners just seemed to not have ANY experience with black people and would just generally say openly racist things.
basalticlava ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:16:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I find it hilarious that 29 people upvoted this, smugly thinking how much smarter they are than those dumb hicks in the south.
josh_bullock ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:51:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can't forget the essentials.
curiositie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Does this mean that since I refuse to say "bless (xyz)" I lose southern points?
Like, if someone sneezes I say "bessu"instead of "bless you".
unclenoriega ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:27:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not in the example you gave. "Bless your heart" is a specific Southern regionalism, and its use is good for some Southern points.
Jim_Laheyistheliquor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bless yerr heart!
bless_ure_harte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You called me?!
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:37:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Momma got her comeuppance that day, and all the south celebrated with grits and sweet tea.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:40:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do like grits.
Laruae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn it man, now I have to go make grits again. Thanks.
Omw_to_Pound_Town ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:06:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kids are awfully mortifying. This reminds me of a time a large woman sat at a table near us at a restaurant and my 4 year old brother shouts, "Wow daddy, she eats a lotta FOOD!" He was super impressed with her, but my dad was ready to hang himself.
mercedenesgift ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:10:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My daughter noticed race for the very first time at the pool and screamed, "THAT little girl is BROWN." I was mortified. She was three.
Sharpevil ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 17:45:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aw. It's somehow adorable when kids manage to make a racist comment that comes from a total lack of racism.
That family isn't different in any fundamental way, they just drink a bunch of coffee.
roflzzzzinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love chocolate people!"
-4 year old step-sister when talking to the old black lady at church out of nowhere
Iorith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it's that totally innocence on the implications of what they just said that gets me, it's beyond cute.
delmar42 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 17:46:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it pretty much served your mom right for saying something that racist to her kids. Karma.
rotll ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:45:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes...
Rurutabaga ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:10:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Before I was born there was a hurricane (i think Gloria? I'm not sure.) and my dad had my brother with him at a commissary or something. Two black men in camo from the national guard walk by and my brother goes "Look Daddy chocolate GI Joe Men!"
My dad thought he was going to get his ass kicked but they just laughed at him.
BobbyCock ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:31:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How would they have understood the joke?
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 17:37:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was (and still is for all I know) a common old wive's tale in the south.
jedi168 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:38:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I find it funny that I grew up in Texas and just shocked at all this stuff in the rest of the south.
eclectique ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:06:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, Texas & Florida are really their own entities.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Northern Florida is pretty old school south in some places. Same with parts of Texas for that matter.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:49:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
more north you go, the more south it gets.
Iorith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I've lived in both and it's so weird how true this is.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:27:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/floridaman
pralinematchbox ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:35:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
old racist wives' tale* FTFY
MithridatesX ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:28:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Karma?
wh33zi3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:50:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That reminded me of something my brother said on a vacation one time. My parents, brother, and I were in ATL for a show my dad was playing. I think we had been there for a couple days at this point when we decided to hit up that big mall downtown. In the process of trying to find a parking spot my brother, from the back of the van, asks; "mommy, are there going to be any of our people in Atlanta." Oh boy, luckily we were in the car still. Doh!
Ashkela ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As your mother should be feeling. That was awesome.
sensicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thought you were going to say "difference between him and me is that he's black."
demhippies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She wouldn't be so embarrassed if she wasn't telling your brother racist stories to begin with!
AuRevoirBaron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
From the south, yet clearly racist mother is not only embarrassed by her obnoxious kid, but also embarrassed by her racist statement being blurted out loud... but y'all are from the south. Something ain't adding up here.
Edit: I meant I'm from the south and I've never met a racist that was ever ashamed or embarrassed by it. They always seem proud to be a racist.
SuperSlam64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think I remember seeing a film or something set in the South during the civil rights era and this older white woman walks into a diner or cafe and asks for a coffee. The guy behind the counter asks "How do you take it?" and she says "As black as that boy over there." and points at this really dark skinned black kid.
moonpielover69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was like this one comment I saw about a kid calling women dressed in the Muslim get up and asked if they were ninjas
44elite444 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's like I can READ the accent
gehenom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On the subway once, my 3 year old brother was yelling about this other kid had a chocolate face. It was pretty exciting.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:35:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She deserved it.
Pixelated_Penguin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:28:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And this is why you don't tell your kids silly lies about race.
crooks4hire ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:35:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL. "My first horrible thought..."
What were the others?
A_Filthy_Mind ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:40:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I answered one above. A while slew, mainly about high school boys starting to get caught fucking coffee grounds, and some non cohesive thoughts about "drinking coffee" being a euphemism for taking the BBC, and it didn't make him black, it explained why he was part black.
crooks4hire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:18:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
username checks out
Kendo16 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:27:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Black guy here. How do I make coffee and raise my credit score?
A_Filthy_Mind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think that would be tea, or maybe seltzer water.
Iorith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of milk.
Kendo16 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:00:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy cow!
Iorith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a good way to moove up in the world.
Kendo16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard of pun threads but,a pun bovine? That's dairy different. Hope you steer this in a good direction.
Iorith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I might be able to Steer my post into an Udder one, but I tend to Butcher them when Prodded. But I'm sure you've Herd this all before, so I'll stop Milking it and put it out to pasture.
Kendo16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought I was the pun king but, I merely grazed you.
Iorith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's my Brand of comedy, and I like my puns to be Well Done.
Kendo16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eh,that pun wasn't that rare. There's a lot at steak here. Gimme your A1 puns. You don't want beef. You're at your cow tipping point.
totomaya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was like 4 my parents took me to Costco to buy a basketball hoop for some ridiculous reason. I remember saying, "I wish I was black because then I could play basketball and jump real high!" and got in huuuuuuge trouble. But I sucked at basketball, so joke's on them!
A_Filthy_Mind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bet you didn't drink coffee at that age, right?
Spenczer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out.
hdawg187 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Michael J. Fox stars in 'TyroneWolf'.
chugs coffee
bless_ure_harte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You mean before having sex for the firat time
Qman1198 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out
yeame3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What was your second horrible thought?
A_Filthy_Mind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A few clashed all at once.
Wondering if that spread around and they had a rash of high school kids suddenly trying to stick their dicks in coffee the most cohesive over though.
Mountainbranch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What was your second horrible thought?
blakeinalake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:25 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then hulk-transforming into Lebron James.
Kevin_O_Loacvick ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:54:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ahahahahaha mine told me I will grow a tail, and that DEFINITELY didn't stop me from drinking coffee, but I was kinda sad when they told me that was a lie to make me not drink coffee. I didn't believe in Santa when I was a kid, but this got me just as hard.
Pinkie056 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:04:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guzzles coffee in hopes of becoming a cat-girl
Alorha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:22:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man, anime just keeps getting weirder
stygyan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So, you got a boner from the lie?
KestrelLowing ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:03:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh man, my mom accidentally made it sound like I could become black by staying out in the sun too long (miscommunication with when she tried to explain that their ancestors had lived in a sunny place while our ancestors lived in cloudy place, plus my knowledge of how you'd get a tan) so I thought the reason she always told me to wear sunscreen was because she didn't want me to become black.
Obviously, I'm just super pale and burn under florescent lights...
HelloItIsDave ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:10:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom grew up in a very small town in Louisiana, one where there weren't any black people. Once when she was very young, they went to a bigger town and saw a black lady at a bank. My mom, having never seen a black person asked why she looked like that. My grandma said that it was because she was "colored" and apparently my mom was still learning colors and the only one she knew was blue. So she pointed at the woman and yelled "Blue lady! Blue lady!" which of course made my grandma want to crawl underneath something.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:10:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be Sudanese by now if that were the case
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:37:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
South Sudanese*
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me too man. I drink a pot a day sometimes. No shame.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:19:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting, I grew up in the northeast and my mom told me it would stunt my growth
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:03:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is your mom my grandma?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:39:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe. Is your grandma freakishly young and did she live in Alabama at any point in the 90s?
dogsordiamonds ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:23:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad told me if I drink the wine from havdallah (whatever, just a Jewish custom) I'll grow purple chest hair. I was traumatized. I have literally never even sipped it since in my life... I'm a 31 year old woman.
SamuraiJakkass86 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:21:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Didnt listen, did ya Ruckus?
allaboutcharlemagne ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:25:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother told me that it - along with coca cola - would stunt my growth, and I'd never get to be a grown-up. I didn't drink coke until I was seventeen or eighteen, and I still don't drink coffee more than once a month now at almost thirty.
I'm 5'0" and 90 lbs and people mistake me for a high schooler all the time, so I might as well have enjoyed the goddamn soda because I still have to argue with strangers that yes I'm fucking old enough to do this/go there/buy that/etc.
Tooch10 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:35:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I only heard the 'coffee will stunt your growth' line
ze_OZone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:00:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Racist intentions or not, that's still pretty fucked up to tell a kid.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:27:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm already black so my dad told me coffee stunts growth. My little brother never drank it and he's 5 inches taller than the rest of us :/
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:34:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Weird! My dad told me this when I was little, coffee and soda pop would do it according to him. Never heard it anywhere else until now.
CptNonsense ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:37:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is like the most racist passive aggressive way to tell people they can't have coffee.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:17:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me the same thing. She also told me that milk will keep my skin lighter.
SuckMyFist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:04:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
.
You mean your mom as since "dated" alot of "coffee drinkers"?
bubba_feet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:29:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my mom had a book that said black people came from saint nicholas dipping naughty children into ink wells.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:44:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You misunderstood the story. They were punished for making fun of a black man for being black
bubba_feet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yeah i know, but my takeaway when i was a kid was just the blanket "naughty".
jokoa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad told me it would stunt my growth.
melance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where I come from in the deep south, we drank coffee milk from about the age of 5.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, this is a common lie?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I heard it a few times in the deep south in the 90s.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom just had me taste coffee one and never again because I thought it tasted like ass
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom probably gave you Folgers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah I just hate coffee. My parents drink Illy, I just don't like it. Same way my dad had me taste his beer- German import. Tasted like ass to me because I was like 10
OddTheViking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In our family it was "it will stunt your growth." My gramma actually believed that. Mom just didn't want us hopped up on caffeine.
_Ryman_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was just told it would stunt my growth and make my toenails yellow.
d_frost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
๐
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a white person, when I was a kid I wanted to be black just like Samuel L Jackson. My dad said Michael Jackson changed skin colour so that meant I could too.
That lead to very bad sunburns (I thought black skin was just burnt skin).
dangerstar19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend in high school who believed that buying coffee was age restricted to 16, which she believed until that age.
chuckles1105 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a cajun in south Louisana, they weaned us onto coffee from age 2
Giraffeics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why not just make some deliberately bad coffee and let them try it once? Then they'll think all coffee is horrible and never ask for it again!
jseego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the twist: OP is asian.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol mine was similar, said it would turn your toes black. Other fun ones: "If you play with yourself, you'll go blind," and "If you sit too close to the TV, your eyes will pop out of your head."
worldsbiggestpenis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a poster that confirms your mom is correct. If I knew anything about computers, I would share a picture of it with you.
NeverEnoughCorgis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My paw-paw was a heavy coffee w/milk drinker. Brought it everywhere with him in a thermos. I'm told he used to put some in my bottles as a baby. Pretty sure that's why coffee doesn't the upper feeling it seems to do everyone else. I just like the taste.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure how to tell you this but I think I'm your paw-paw. I lug a big thermos around with coffee + milk almost everywhere I go.
NeverEnoughCorgis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If that means paw-paw is still alive then I'm cool with that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aw :(
Cheeki_Cunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in Turkey and my mother told me that drinking coffee before I was old would turn me into an Arab.
MrsJones2013 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My uncles used to tell me it would put hair on my chest. And I'm female so then it was always a resounding no thanks!
illseeyouanon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to teach preschool and she told the kids that if they drank too much chocolate milk, their eyes would turn brown. (I'm sure she would have used that on us too, but we just weren't allowed to have it.)
Blu64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always told me it would make my knees turn black. Hmm...
_Variable_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now momma told meeeeeeee......... When I was young........
sonixflash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait? Coffee doesn't stunt your growth???
null_work ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did your mom drink coffee? Was she black, per chance?
Drudicta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would have just given you literal black coffee.
No child would like that.
Dtrain16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My great grandparents used to say "cotton-picking fingers" instead of "mitts" or just "hands" if you were touching something you weren't supposed to. My mother almost said it during a class(she's a teacher) when she realized the implications of a phrase she had known all her life.
SliferTheExecProducr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can attest. My southern grandmother used to say "Haven't seen ya in a coon's age!" which I didn't realize was a pejorative for "black person" until I was in college. I always thought it was some bizarre reference to raccoons.
Sonic1031 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think I got the less racist version of this, I was just told that coffee makes you ugly. I still to this day don't drink coffee, but mostly bc it can be expensive and I hate it
32BitWhore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmom still uses the phrase "cotton pickin'," like it's no big deal. Different time, man.
HookDragger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
From mine is coffee would stunt my growth.
Mom.... I'm over 5 feet tall in 6th grade... Maybe I should be drinking coffee?
stravadarius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, even if you're not intentionally trying to be racist, you can still be racist.
z500 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me about the story my dad tells about when my sister asked why he was so dark compared to the rest of us (we mostly got our skin color from our mom). He told her it was from drinking too much coffee.
APsWhoopinRoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmother is from the south and calls Brazil nuts "nigger toes." She never understands what's wrong with that term
Starberrywishes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me of how my mom believed I will turn black if I stayed out in the sun too long. We Asians.
Auspicion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have learned that racism is ingrained in our society and certain communities.
People you don't typically consider racists, actually echo racism from what they've learned from their families and friends in their community. Although that may not necessarily mean they are racists themselves, they do say or do things that are racist, without realizing it themselves. I wouldn't go so far to say that it's their fault, but I wish people would realize this, rather than blatantly denying racism.
alfis26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol, my dad used to tell us the same thing as kids but with Coke instead of coffee "if you drink Coke you will turn black". He's pretty racist though.
TheBeardedMarxist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
It's ok. I grew up in the south and my sweet grandma called Brazilian nuts "nigger toes" and Smokey sausages "dog dicks".
espo1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Currently in the south (from New Jersey) and the people are murdering my sanity. I thought all of these things were 80's stereotypes...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I recall one little town we drove through in Alabama to get to the beach. It was like going back in time-- cotton fields next to rickety wooden buildings, dirt roads, dusty people walking around in overalls, even saw a Model T Ford on the road. It was a bit surreal.
espo1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No I didn't mean just the stuff around, more the PEOPLE. All of you have interests that are in like 80's movies. There are jocks, smart people are looked down upon somehow, the tougher you are the cooler you are, and all of the girls go to the football games and like study the schedules. Also what is with the fricken interest in cars? Some things I've heard are "I just had to turn on that engine!" and "It was a ____ _____ 1975 _____ and it was BEAUTIFUL." I have no idea what the other three words were. But people down here have like orgasmic reactions to turning on/listening to cars. One kid in my school who moved from the south asked me if I wanted to hear his dad's new vintage car's engine. I was like "No thanks...." and quickly ran to my parent's minivan. And jesus christ the accents. And the slow talking. And the over enunciation because people can't understand you in your accents and therefore speak slower. This girl at a register took like 10 seconds to say "That will be 17.95". And like real seconds. A second is longer than you would think.
KjoeLjan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was told drinking too much coffee would make you a ginger.
Nubcake_Jake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jerry rigging used to be called something different.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother told me that if I got any tanner, I would turn into a Hispanic and they would have to send me away. I believed them.
TastyBurgers14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol u wot m8. she most certainly was, racism is inherently based on ignorance which is what she was. mild racism isnt mild when everyone has those beliefs
CrazyCoKids ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom never tried to stop me from drinking coffee. She let the taste do its work for me.
However both of us absolutely love the smell. I can only really drink coffee with creamers or flavourings these days.
TheNewHumanism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad always told me that coffee would make me grow hair on my chest.
...I'm a woman.
OperationJericho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Coffee would turn your knees black and if you held your pee too long, your eyes would be yellow. It's pronounced cinanimanim(animanim, however many you wanted to add). If you eat raw chicken or don't wash your hands after handling raw chicken or ground beef, you'll get "the salamander." Oh, and don't make that face, it'll get stuck that way.
My dad likes to joke around.
AbnormalDreams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was always told "coffee will shrink your dick"
diceman89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:07 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grew up and Mississippi and never heard it said any way except that it stunts your growth. This might be the racist deep south version, though.
lYossarian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, my dad grew up in the 50's/60's and was super radicalized by about '68 and worked in journalism/publishing and is still almost embarrassingly liberal but will still (when doing a lot of sweaty, physical work) occasionally say, "I've been working like a nigger" or say that someone is "Chinese" rather than make any real effort to distinguish between different east Asian nationalities.
He's not even remotely (negatively) racist in his actual thoughts or behavior but I think he still perceives an "otherness" there that is largely disappearing in younger generations. (It's shifting more to classism these days)
Aaaandiiii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:04 on August 14, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OMG, my mom told me the same lie too. My mom is black, but she's more cafe au lait with tons of lait while I'm your everyday 60% cacao dark chocolate. She told me she was drinking coffee so she could get dark and that I was dark enough and didn't need to drink any coffee.
It worked. I had to work my way up to drinking real coffee in adulthood after abstaining from it 100% when I was younger.
Jhavul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Read that as "Grew up in the deep mouth."
what has become of me
hibbel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't overthink it.
When I grew up in western Germany in the 70's, us kids used to call the "Ladykracher" by a word no adult ever taught us. It must have been handed down from one generation of kids not understanding why it's bad to the next generation of young kids for a quarter of a century, so about ten generations of transfer. Quite impressive in its own way.
We still called them "Judepferz" or yew-farts.
Looking back, there was not a single right leaning parent or nazi among the parents of my friends or classmates. As far as I know, none of us understood it. We were pre-teens. It's just what they were called among us and I still have trouble to feel bad for giving them a name I didn't know had such connotations.
TL;DR: Bad words or phrases can stick around and the innocence of their use shows, in a way, that while the word remains, the original intent, meaning and insult had long been lost.
Auto_Text ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Still, what she said implied black= negative.
Otherwise it doesn't make sense.
LittleSugarBabysBabe ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:58:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah she's a racist.
StrikeAnywherePanda ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:16:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, so your grandparents are the racists! /s
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:17:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry bro I got your back
A little further up in the thread
GearyDigit ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:06:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As somebody who lives in the deep south that's literally not a thing, your mom's just racist.
Slugtyrant ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 16:59:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
slowly pours coffee onto the ground
Ashtonoos ยท 26602 points ยท Posted at 14:53:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom would always tell me I was the "easiest physical birth out of all of the kids." I felt proud until at the age of 18 I was told I was adopted.
DarthSparkleFlocken ยท 11573 points ยท Posted at 16:17:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is both hilarious and awful and I can't stop laughing
Enigmasaurus_II ยท 2350 points ยท Posted at 16:43:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No no. Just hilarious
petrichorE6 ยท 1076 points ยท Posted at 17:10:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a joke 18 years in the running.
Xytrius ยท 940 points ยท Posted at 17:33:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just like his old parents
[deleted] ยท 95 points ยท Posted at 18:38:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ambivouac ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:53:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It twists the knife with such a painterly flair...
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:18:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dad?
thegreenrobby ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:52:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/jesuschristreddit
velmorte ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:20:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Totally LOL'ed in public on this one. I would've if you didnt!
P0sitive_Outlook ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:46:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least they left him a toy truck.
tarsil ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:17:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
๐ซ๐ซ pew pew shots fired.
pinnietans ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:08:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn.
JinglesMcGee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was tempted to upvote but your ay 666 and I couldn't do it. Probably has changed since I typed this.
Edit: it changed. I upvoted.
Birdgame420 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:07:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahahahaha that was hilarious and fucked up but I'm still laughing
griel1o1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:19:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats so harsh i could give you a gold just for saying it outloud.
CKgodlike ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:36:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
they were in it for the long run
LCRich2001 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:04:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The long con
Covert_Ruffian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The motherfucking longest long con that was ever conned...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hope they brought a towel, just in case.
Herogamer555 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What a build up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom plays the long con.
kennyl ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:20:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
and awful.
IfonlyIwasfunnier ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:02:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No no. Just awful. Iยดm still laughing though.
TundieRice ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:28:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody besides me thinks it's fucked up that their mom didn't tell them they were adopted when they were growing up?
Enigmasaurus_II ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well.......apparently not And I don't think it's that bad either. Just like others have said here she did choose him and raised him in (what I hope were) good conditions
TundieRice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But not only did she not tell him he was adopted, she lied and said she gave birth to him. I don't care, that's messed up.
Enigmasaurus_II ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
ยฏ\_(ใ)_/ยฏ
Shrugfacebot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TL;DR: Type in ยฏ\\\_(ใ)_/ยฏ for proper formatting
Actual reply:
For the
like you were trying for you need three backslashes, so it should look like this when you type it out
which will turn out like this
ยฏ\_(ใ)_/ยฏ
The reason for this is that the underscore character (this one _ ) is used to italicize words just like an asterisk does (this guy * ). Since the "face" of the emoticon has an underscore on each side it naturally wants to italicize the "face" (this guy (ใ) ). The backslash is reddit's escape character (basically a character used to say that you don't want to use a special character in order to format, but rather you just want it to display). So your first "\_" is just saying "hey, I don't want to italicize (ใ)" so it keeps the underscore but gets rid of the backslash since it's just an escape character. After this you still want the arm, so you have to add two more backslashes (two, not one, since backslash is an escape character, so you need an escape character for your escape character to display--confusing, I know). Anyways, I guess that's my lesson for the day on reddit formatting lol
CAUTION: Probably very boring edit as to why you don't need to escape the second underscore, read only if you're super bored or need to fall asleep.
Edit: The reason you only need an escape character for the first underscore and not the second is because the second underscore (which doesn't have an escape character) doesn't have another underscore with which to italicize. Reddit's formatting works in that you need a special character to indicate how you want to format text, then you put the text you want to format, then you put the character again. For example, you would type _italicize_ or *italicize* in order to get italicize. Since we put an escape character we have \_italicize_ and don't need to escape the second underscore since there's not another non-escaped underscore with which to italicize something in between them. So technically you could have written ยฏ\\\_(ใ)\_/ยฏ but you don't need to since there's not a second non-escaped underscore. You would need to escape the second underscore if you planned on using another underscore in the same line (but not if you used a line break, aka pressed enter twice). If you used an asterisk later though on the same line it would not work with the non-escaped underscore to italicize. To show you this, you can type _italicize* and it should not be italicized.
TundieRice ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:43:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dropped an arm there, bud.
Enigmasaurus_II ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:46:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL That there's a shrugface bot and I don't know how to shrugface in the proper Reddit fashion
TundieRice ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:49:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's all good. We all learn the ways of reddit eventually.
FuzzyWu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
His Mom told him he was adopted when he was 18! That's pretty fucked up. If you mention it when it comes up as they're growing up it's no big deal, but lying to them and then springing it on them way too late is like she's trying to screw with him.
Dyesce_ ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 17:10:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not awful. OP is the child she chose. The other ones she just got stuck with.
[deleted] ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 17:30:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This.
I have one friend who told her daughter at a young age, and I feel this seems to work best. (It also worked well for other adopted kids I know who knew they were adopted at a young age.) She went the route of "We loved you so much that we wanted you to be in our family." Which worked great. Her daughter knows she's "from another Mommy's tummy but belongs in this family" so to speak.
Now I have another friend who has adopted siblings and the family didn't tell them until their late teens, which turned out not so well. Both were very withdrawn for awhile but are slowly coming around. Both are incredibly loved but they took it more of an act of deceit, which is understandable. I would be pissed if someone waited so long to tell me.
The one did ask me if I knew she was adopted and I wasn't going to lie, I watched this kid grow from an infant to a teenager so I countered with "I remember the day your Mom brought you and your sister home, she was so ecstatic to be blessed with two beautiful baby girls and couldn't stop holding you." And this really helped her mood, seeing the confirmation that she was family from someone who wasn't related but was around a lot. She then asked why no one said anything and I said "You were always part of the family, to us you were never adopted, you just came home to where you belonged."
Dyesce_ ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:35:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read a little tale of a boy that was dissed because he was adopted and said this to the other kids like "my Mom choose me. Yours just got stuck with you" which shut him up for good because he was an
unwantedunplanned child.gloynbyw ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:03:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend and hs sister (both adopted) used to tease their the younger brother (not adopted) because he was the mistake.
Dyesce_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not nice.
g0atmeal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:32:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's awful about adoption?
DarthSparkleFlocken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:04:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing's awful about adoption, I think it's a great thing, I just think its bad that their mum made a joke about it without hem knowing that they were adopted
WarrenHarding ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:39:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine the grin on the moms face every time she said that to him
Royalflush0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/funnyandsad
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't fucking wait until I have kids and can set up brick jokes that take 18+ years to play out.
KingOfKrackers ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:21:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/funnyandsad
pyr666 ยท 2436 points ยท Posted at 16:32:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
is that really a lie? i mean, your birth didn't cause her any pain at all.
[deleted] ยท 881 points ยท Posted at 16:50:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
unseenspecter ยท 485 points ยท Posted at 16:52:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The best kind of correct.
Hyperdrunk ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 16:55:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're not really a redditor, /u/unseenspecter, you were just adopted from The Chive.
ClandestineFox ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:45:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This hurts because I used to spend all my time on The Chive before discovering Reddit...
flapanther33781 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:47:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And better for him that he was.
5pitf1r3 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:58:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
savage
PsychoAgent ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:48:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Technically Korea.
Miroudias ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Technically.
Fwendly_Mushwoom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:52:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can this meme fucking die already
crackassmuumuu ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Technically, the only kind of correct.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:26:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
unseenspecter ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
K
Bengou ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:58:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is the best kind of correct
onefootlong ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:19:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer the term: economical with the truth.
GiantFapForMankind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Technically correct is the best kind of correct.
idejmcd ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:14:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say a lie by omission. She says he was her ""easiest physical birth out of all of the kids." but omits the part where he's adopted. It's an intentionally misleading comment, which IMO counts as a lie.
Antabaka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit loves to play with technicalities, but you're right, that is still definitely a lie. Or as you said, intentionally misleading.
fuckingstonedrn ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:27:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yea apparently it caused the other mom a ton of pain though.
she gave him away from how much pain
sorry op
Iambathman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:21:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
monetary pain?
Real_Adam_Sandler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What if his biomom died from the pain though?
pyr666 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:47:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
still wouldn't put his mother in any pain.
fearmypoot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well you're not wrong.
CRISPR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's right. Her. Not to /u/Ashtonoos
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Adoptions only cause financial pain.
starfirex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
www.thatwasthejoke.com/youdissectedthefrog.html
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually around the time of the birth she stubbed her toe on a coffee table.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the joke....
rhetoricl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Which technically invalidates it as a proper response to OPs topic...hence his remark...
throwitupwatchitfall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
thats_the_joke.jpeg
kennyl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The survival did.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Rakonat ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:17:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Plot twist! OP's biological mother was his adopted mother's best friend who died during childbirth. ohgodimaterribleperson
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
no one said it was a lie...
edit: oops forgot the thread title, suicide?
pyr666 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:37:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
title
edit: seppuku is the only way to reclaim your honor :P
rhetoricl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What thread did u click on?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:26:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ProtoKun7 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:46:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Except he was still physically born. Just not from her. That's why she found it so easy.
Pinworm45 ยท 179 points ยท Posted at 17:06:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like literally the least common lie told by mothers
IndependentStud ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:05:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know right
NineteenthJester ยท 747 points ยท Posted at 16:43:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why did your parents wait so long to tell you that you were adopted?
[deleted] ยท 2829 points ยท Posted at 17:18:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
poizan42 ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 17:38:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Playing the long con
czhunc ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 17:40:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad went out for cigarettes when I was 7 and he's still out there. What'd you do, get lost going to the gas station or something? Haha, what a dork. Please come back.
x_JUMPER_CABLE_MOM_x ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:13:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
didn't you get taken away by the goverment?
CRISPR ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:59:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I started sobbing uncontrollably after reading this phrase.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:35:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Please clap
kenba2099 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 17:50:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They say tragedy + time = comedy, so
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:51:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure he was laughing... eventually.
gayzombie ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:58:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your parents deathbed "billy...you're adopted.." Dies.
Florianopolix ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:13:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To get to the other side!
IrrelephantInTheRoom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:26:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To get to the other side!
defendors86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:43:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Timing is everything
Blubbey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:53:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Would be a great reveal at a marriage
clevername71 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
clevername71 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:51:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
RemindMe! 18 years
Agentreddit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:52:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Should've engraved it on their tombstone.
tmday4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Brutal
Kev-bot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:41:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Timing is very important in comedy.
rockblood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:01 on January 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You guessed right
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The ultimate Dad Joke
sweetnumb ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly, did nobody see Dumb and Dumber To?!
ZincCadmium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did but I try to imagine I didn't. I've blocked more or less the whole thing from my memory, thank goodness.
smashbrawlguy ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 18:22:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad was adopted, but grandma and grandpa told him when he was really young, so he was raised like it was the most normal thing in the world. Blood relations be damned, family is family. I can't imagine how much it would fuck you up to have a bombshell like that dropped on you so late into adolescence.
palebluedot0418 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 19:09:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My ex-wife and I told my son at an early age that I had adopted him. I really didn't want to as I selfishly did not want him to not think of me as his daddy.
In hindsight, it was the best possible outcome. I made it point to let him know that he was my son because I chose him. He was mine because I loved him, not due to the randomness of genetics.
As he got older, it became a joke we shared that the 5 greatest roman emperors were all adopted, and if there was a crazy ass fuck up like Nero or Caligula, you can be damn sure it was genetic. ;)
Mediddly ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:03:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My coworker found out in her 30s, after both her parents passed away. Her life didn't fall apart or anything, but it left her feeling a little lost and resentful that she couldn't ask any questions about where she came from or why her parents chose to adopt.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:26:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Bystronicman08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa. What the fuck? Was she close to her older sister? I was adopted too and if I found out my older brother was really my dad all along I would be extremely angry and feel betrayed.
walkingspanish ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:51:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Friends couldn't have a baby so they adopted a boy. When he was really young they told him "We really wanted you, but mommy was sick and couldn't give birth to you, so another lady did it for me." Like you said, grew up like it was a normal thing. He's 20 now and wanted to meet his birth mother, which she declined.
Bystronicman08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
His birth mother declined? That would really suck.
Checkers10160 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:07:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My little sister was adopted and she's known for as long as she can remember, as we didn't want a bombshell to be dropped on her. We (Well, my parents. I was 6 at the time) explained she grew in a different lady's belly, but she's my parents' daughter, and my sister, and we love her regardless
Now I'm 23 and she's 17, and I'm literally tearing up writing this because my baby sister is leaving for college soon :-(
TitaniumDragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think it depends on the person, really.
nspectre ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:55:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom didn't learn she was adopted until she was 17... because everyone thought she already knew.
o.0
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:39:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
ForestCreatures ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 17:21:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if this is their reasoning, but it might be because they didn't want him to think that he was less a part of the family because he was adopted. I could see siblings using that as ammunition growing up.
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 19:55:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, you're adopted! You're not even one of us!"
"Well, at least I was wanted! If it wasn't for that ripped condom you wouldn't even be here!"
Skylord_ah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:40 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
god damnn
Bystronicman08 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:41:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe I had better sibling but my parents told me I was adopted when I was around 8. Nothing really changed because I've been with them since I was two weeks old and they are my parents. My older siblings never used it as ammunition either.
ForestCreatures ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:50:05 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's good. It sounds like you have a supportive family!
Bystronicman08 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:20:36 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Very much so.
adudeguyman ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 17:12:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because of the easy birth story
glowinghamster45 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:38:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Worth it.
FAX_ME_UR_GENITALIA ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:22:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Being an easy birth was really all he had going for him so they rolled with it
Rawtoast24 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:28:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They wanted to milk the joke for as long as they could
headsh0t ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:45:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably because it's a joke and he wouldn't get that sweet karma if he told the truth
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:42:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's the most common lie told by redditors?
headsh0t ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, what is?
Tasgall ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:52:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That they're not actually dogs?
velmorte ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:21:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents also waited until I was 18 to tell me that my dad is not my biological father. She did this because there was a trust fund involved.
ennuiui ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:30:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He didn't ask for money for college unti lhe was 18.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:32:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's joking. I can't believe people think that's true.
joosier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They were hoping he would parley his experience into a successful movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHB4TzHzi2A
Something_Pithy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For all the sweet Internet points.
bayareasikh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Might be that they wanted to tell him/her later so that they would understand at an older age
Computationalism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
for the lulz
JMan1989 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't find out until I was 23.
random_side_note ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friends parents neglected to mention that he was adopted until about 4 or so years ago. He's 43. He's... a little bitter about it. Better than he was when he originally found out, but i don't think he's still too happy about it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
NDaveT ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:32:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's very uncommon, and strongly recommended against.
Omnimark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on when. One of my friends has an adopted sister that wasn't told until she was 18, sometime in the 90s. I think that it was far more common then, then it is now.
badgarok725 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:59:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's no way thats uncommon, that would be fucked up to wait that long.
entrecomillas ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:26:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's definitely fucked up, but we know better now. Adoption used to be really taboo, I wouldn't be surprised if OP was born before the 80s
NDaveT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I knew kids my age who were adopted in 1970. It wasn't taboo in the US then, at least among our circles, and conventional wisdom was you told the kids early.
king484 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Warning: r/nosleep is leaking here
I know you survived, update the story about the serial killer box.
ThunderCuuuunt ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:29:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because he's a Jerk.
IAmMosh ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:19:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably because parents can't anticipate in advance how much it'll impact a kid. Best to wait for something like known adult stability.
(I don't agree but the above justification seems sound)
Pizza_Delivery_Dog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
seems risky, since most children will start seeing their parents less after 18 (college). So if they react badly it would be harder to communicate with them
physalisx ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:55:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty late to tell a kid that. How did it come up, and how did you take it?
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:21:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he was a difficult teenager. I can't imagine telling that to a 14 year old filled with angst and self loathing.
Miss_Lonelyhearts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:15:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're supposed to tell them when they're toddlers, not teenagers
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:41:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But that punch line...
Ok for all seriousness you're right. Never gave it much thought.
AugustusPompeianus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That makes so much more sense. I guess some parents are reluctant to tell their kids at all until they start asking questions around the teenage years.
GayFesh ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:49:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, the lie was not telling you you were adopted. Technically you WERE her easiest birth.
Jrixyzle ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:29:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, this happened to me and like 5/6 of my close childhood friends.
bubblegumpandabear ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:15:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand this. Every singe adopted child I've met is well aware of them having been adopted, no matter what race they were. Maybe some people just have a hard time telling the kid?
CuteThingsAndLove ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:02:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's fucking hilarious
TytusMagnificus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:03:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The best birth is the one you avoid.
--Quartz-- ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:20:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is neither a lie nor is common, but it's so good I'll allow it
Aayin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:54:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well...she technically wasn't lying.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:00:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You just gave me a nose bleed. Awesome!
mrubuto22 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:05:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/funnyandsad
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:59:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
damn she is a master troll
Gravityflexo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:05:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you Sean Carter
Danserud ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:07:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jigga what?
Lrd_Rwekien ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are they coming to pick you up in an hour?
kennyl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, she's not half wrong...
Deckard_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:29:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She didn't told you how you were imported into the country.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
THIS IS AMAZING
infinitezero8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother came out pissing.
I came out wrapped around the umbilical cord on the verge of death.
"You kids were demons coming out of your dear old mom"
Alexr208 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:D D:
Fuckyourthread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[Fuck Reddit]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who the hell waits till 18 to tell someone they're adopted? O_O
swanssx1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well... She wasn't wrong...
_angesaurus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is hilarious. Gonna tell my adopted sister this when she gets a little older. She's obviously adopted though, so...
TehKatieMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You poor thing. XD my husband, brother, and my father are all adopted. It's a good thing, and they don't love you any less. hugs
kennyl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, you live with Satan?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Crap... My mom's been saying the same thing to me for years. I'm 20 now, when do you think I'll find out if I was adopted?
HoaryPuffleg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You weren't told until you were 18? That is shitty
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, this one is very common.
wittywalrus1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She sounds like she has some sense of humour.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Technically not a lie. It WAS easy... for her.
DarkTurnedLight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm adopted along with all my siblings. I got along fine, met my birth "parents," my parents are those who raised me. No second thoughts to it.
SandCracka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Rekt. - Also I'm sorry you had to find out the truth my man
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom has been telling me this since I was pretty young o_o doesn't help that I look and act nothing like my siblings. Only thing that makes me think I was actually my parents' kid is the fact that I look a lot like my dad, apparently.
deusnefum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The other kids were in-house projects. You were out-sourced.
Poopdoodiecrap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I suppose this is going to become far more common now!
Threeleggedchicken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love all of you kids the same"
GamingWithBilly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The question was "most common lie told"...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Technically that's not a lie :D
Party_Monster_Blanka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this isn't very common..
HanJunHo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, this is the most common lie mothers tell their kids?
Andjhostet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand why she'd wait that long to tell you that you're adopted.
Sunlit5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha ha ha ha awwww.
MCMXChris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
mom playing the long con
jackster_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My daughter was adopted by me (step mom) and I always tell her she's my favourite because she's the only one that hasn't put me in the hospital.
iFeedz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit.
lhedn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am really curious about this, since my sister is adopted, but she has known that pretty much alway (also it's pretty obvious since my family is totally pale and she's from Vietnam). So are you the same "tone" as your family and was this something your parents lied about or did it just never come up?
And finally, how was it being told that you were adopted?
Tetrylene ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if this is a joke but you hear about parents 'revealing' to their kid that they're adopted a lot. I don't understand this at all. If you tell the kid as soon as they can understand it's not a big deal and probably strengthens your family in the long run. By having a big reveal later on in life I can imagine it must make a big part of your life feel partially like a long-running lie and be really emotional. What's the point.
drunken_man_whore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: you were adopted.
You: really??
Mom: yes, pack your bags. They'll be here in an hour.
Daniel_The_Thinker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Adoption just means you were chosen.
RealBlitzComet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well...she didn't lie
maawen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry for laughing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was adopted too at the age of 3. But, I knew very early I was adopted. Why did they wait until 18? I met my sister at 14 and brother shortly thereafter.
JDForrest129 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Technically she wasn't lying.
tatsuedoa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom just told me that I nearly killed her during a 32 hour premature labor.
Aarondhp24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well... she wasn't lying.
cactuscat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ya know, I would not like to get on her wrong side.
dantemirror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You got epically trolled by your mom, holy shit!
TK3600 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did not expect a feel trip from this thread.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Made sense
StabbyPants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
but,but, that's a dad joke!
sub_surfer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah this is super common and relatable.
joosed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a common lie. Uncommon at best during peak occurrence rates.
freefromdesire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not only is that not common, but it's also not a lie.
shadus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mother is the master of the long troll, I bow to her.
VVillyD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not, technically, a lie
SchindHaughton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funny thing: My mom has been saying for a while that she felt like she was run over by a truck when she had me, but my younger brother was much easier. I never really thought much of it, because obviously the second child will be easier than the first.
My relationship with my mother isn't the greatest though...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hey they chose you.
MorganWick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't call that the most common lie...
Louis_DM1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn.
ZB314 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most common lie
Akeem_of_Zamunda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How did you take it? Finding out at 18 I mean
chhotu007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh dear. My mom always tell me this too. I have always suspected I was adopted.
Strider-SnG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
your mom is hilarious
therealsix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well she's telling the truth. She never had to give birth to you, that's pretty easy.
addysol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did finding out affect your relationship with them at all? Did you ever find out what happened with your biological parents?
Dominus_Fati ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This isnt a common thing is it?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funny.. but how is this a common lie?
Prometheus720 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom has surpassed your father in joking ability. That is rather impressive.
calgil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even if you were biologically hers, surely you don't mean she said that when you were a kid? 'Hey snookums, I love you, you were the least traumatic thing to emerge from my birth canal.'
just_had_2_comment ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that is not a lie though. she said all of "the" kids. not all of "her" kids
alicevirgo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting. My aunt did the opposite, when my mom told stories about the complications when she gave birth to my sister and me, my aunt told a similar complication happening during the birth of our cousin. She was adopted. Sadly my aunt is vehement on keeping her in the dark about the adopted part even after my cousin asked my aunt three times if she was adopted.
Fajit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is obviously not the most common. You don't deserve the upvotes!
reaganaut_sc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Goodnight honey! Love you! You were the easiest physical birth out of all of the kids!"
TopCommentOfTheDay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This comment was the top comment of the day on August 9th 2016!
I am a bot for /r/topcommentoftheday - Please report suggestions/concerns to the mods.
Overthinks_Questions ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a lie. It was the easiest, for her.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
your mom is a savage
PeanutButter707 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:31:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well technically...
gufcfan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think I would be terribly amused at that joke.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Were you okay? Are you okay with it now? PM me if you need to talk about it. I was adopted too
General_GTFO ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:11:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not adopted, so I probably don't get it, but why wouldn't you be okay with it? Naturally it'd be a shock, but...
Your birth parents wanted to give you a better life than they would have provided (be it due to not wanting a child, not being able to afford a child, or any other reason), and another family did want you and treated you as one of their own.
You make it sound like it's some sort of curse.
tonsofjellyfish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:27:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably because he/she was told about the adoption so late.It would probably mess with your mind, finding out you're not who you think you are.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:25:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've known my whole life that I was adopted. When I was younger, I did some online research about adoption and how it works because I was curious. I found a lot of stories about people who didn't find out until 18, or 25, or until they needed to request a birth certificate for something and it shattered them for a while.
Family is part of the core identity of a person, so when that person finds out that not only is their knowledge of their family incomplete, but it was hidden from them...it can cause some identity issues. An adopted child has two parts to their family identity, their adoptive family and their biological family. A lot of adopted kids have burning curiosity about their biological families, especially mothers. It helps people to know their roots. Hiding the adoption can make it seem like it's shameful, when it's not. I think it also invalidates the sacrifice the biological family made on behalf of the adopted child, because it was a sacrifice to give them a better life and kids should know that someone loved them so much to do that.
Being adopted isn't a curse at all, it's a fact of life and it's given so many kids new chances. I just worry about the people who find out late in life because I don't want them to feel the hurt I just described.
My personal belief is to explain it to kids as they grow up. When they start asking about babies and what happened when mommy was pregnant with them, tell them in terms they can understand and then answer their questions in age appropriate ways as they grow so that they will feel comfortable being part of their adoptive family but not feel like their biological family was meaningless.
MangoMambo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:15:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Finding out the people you grew up with for 18 years weren't your "real" parents and you had biological ones out there somewhere... not to mention being lied to for 18 years
It would be really jarring.
manwith4names ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:39:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But they are my "real" parents. I think that's something that people who aren't adopted don't understand. My parents are my parents. They were there when I learned to walk, they took me to my first taekwondo class, they sat through my countless piano recitals, they helped me graduate high school and then college, and were there for every moment of my life. I recently met my birth father and it's more like meeting a long lost friend, or a sibling, though I've never had siblings so I wouldn't completely know. We have a lot of similarities for obvious reasons, but he's not my dad. My dad is my dad
MangoMambo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:01:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not saying they aren't your real parents. That's why I used the quotes.
Thunder21 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:21:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents told me when i was about 6 that I was adopted. If my parents had waited until I was 18 to tell me, that would definitely cause some trust issues. Hell, they didn't tell me I had half sisters until I was like 13, so that was kinda a shock. I woke up one morning, happy thinking I was the only one from my birth parents, and I went to sleep knowing that I was a fucking uncle.
_KingMoonracer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:22:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was 10 when I found out I had 2 older siblings given up for adoption and it was jarring. I felt like the whole entire family knew something and hid it from me my whole life. It's like, "what else are you not telling me? What other bombshells are waiting to drop?" I wish it had just been a normal thing they told me as I grew up.
Lexidoodle ยท 1469 points ยท Posted at 13:56:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your dad can't pick you up for a visit today because he has to work"
She'll figure it out eventually, but I won't be the one to tell a 6 year old that her dad is choosing his flavor of the week or a party over her.
GoldenEst82 ยท 523 points ยท Posted at 15:36:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you! It sucks to feel like you're protecting a shit dad from the consequences of his neglect; but kids really internalize things, and the longer they go without the anger associated with parental abandonment, the better off they'll be later. I don't wanna write a huge post about how I know this- just wanted to encourage you.
newloaf ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 17:14:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On those rare occasions my dad would come to pick me up for a visit, from all of an hour-and-a-half away, I would get sick to my stomach in anticipation, just sit on the couch with my overnight bag. Half the time he didn't show up at all. My mom was dead and I lived with my aunt and her husband.
I didn't figure out until I was in my thirties that he didn't want me around so he could live his lifestyle, and I'm very glad for that. The weird thing is that I actually get angrier at him over time instead of understanding him, especially after having a son of my own.
stufff ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 18:37:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, wtf, your mom died and your dad just abandons you to aunt and uncle? Fuck that loser.
PM_me_ur_Dinosaur ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 18:25:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think that is weird. It's pretty normal to be angry at someone who treats you like that.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 20:40:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How come he don't want me, man? :'(
wowjerrysuchtroll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh goddammit now I have to fight off tears in the break room at work. That scene and the "where do you think we are?" scene from Scrubs always get me.
creditcardpie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:47:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because he was a bad person who was bad at life so he did bad things.
It wasn't you man.
InvadedByMoops ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:16:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I found I've gotten angrier about my parents' major fuckups the older I get, because I get a better understanding of just how fucked up it really was. When you're a kid you think all families are like yours, it's when you realize how wrong it all was that it starts to fuck with you emotionally.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:43:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly where I'm at. Had some things open up recently from nearly 30 years ago that I now get to deal with. It can be rough. Hugs to anyone and everyone that has shit from childhood come back to haunt them down the road.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:04:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad was the same way. but for months at a time. I still don't know what job he held during my entire childhood, but I only remember seeing him maybe 10 times. When my parents divorced it was a huge custody battle. My dad forced my Mother into bankruptcy and ruined her credit. My siblings and I lived in my grandparents garage for 3 years while my mom got back on her feet. It's been 8 years since I've had any contact with my dad and I don't regret it.
newloaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:14 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a tough row, but it sounds like you've got strong family on your mother's side.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fwiw, grief really does do squirrelly things to people. We all cope with loss differently.
Shin-LaC ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:35:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you choose to have a child? Did your dad?
newloaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:57 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, we both did. The difference is that I'm a father.
Bartweiss ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 17:27:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People tend to say "they'll figure it out sooner or later", but underestimate how much better later can be. There's a world of difference between realizing these things at 5 and 15.
Jdm5544 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:55:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
From my personal experience. DO NOT IGNORE THE ISSUE UNTIL THEY FIGURE IT OUT. If you do that then the anger, however unfairly, will be aimed at both biological parents. I'm not saying to explain it to a 5 year old but 15 is a bit to old. I wish I had been told when I was closer to 10. Instead I realize it when I am 13 in the worst time of puberty, my mother and adoptive father are on the verge of a divorce. Needless to say I was a shitty little ball of teenage anger.
But you know I make a little joke in school and that is the reason I get sent to the guidance counselors. None of this other crap that they knew about.
Pixelated_Penguin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:37:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or 25.
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 17:07:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Very good point. That lie is not for the dad, it's for the child. Shit's impressive. I'd be bitter and petty I think.
GhostBond ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:59:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
From my experience this just looks like the mother wanting to avoid being the person telling the kid and having to deal with the kid being upset. It has nothing to do with protecting the kid.
I know some people with crazy parents, people who went out and knew there parents were just crazy did a lot better than the people who had to involve themselves in a lot of lies about their parents craziness.
Knowing that one parent is simply selfish and self absorbed led to the kids having a much better handle on life than being told lies to supposedly "protect their feelings" when in reality over time the kid gets both a sense of abandonment and develops trust issues feeling that they're constantly being lied to.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:54:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure i wouldn't be on speaking terms with my parent that did this if the other hadn't lied to me.
yes_but_why ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 17:14:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah nothing worse than finding out you've been loving a monster for your whole childhood. Abetting a bad father with a mother's lies ain't the way to build trust.
Smh parents these days wonder why their kids can't wait to stick their asses in a home.
GoldenEst82 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:35:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is a big difference between lying to your children, and not giving them facts that they are not ready for. The child might very well internalize their father's "bad" actions as part of their own selves, and feel that they are intrinsically "bad" people.
(As an example of one way that telling your CHILD daddy is a felonious mysoginistic, substance chasing, train wreck can go wrong.)
Sunshine_of_your_Lov ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:49:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
a young child often can handle that knowledge, no need to be such an asshole
fireinthemountains ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:16:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, had parental abandonment anger too soon.
Happyplantgirl ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 16:56:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of my dad. He didn't show to pick my brother and I up for a weekend visit so my mum packed us into the car and drove us to his place. His car was there but when we knocked he didn't answer the door. I was worried so I tried to peek through the window to make sure he was ok. He was inside with some other woman trying to hide from us. That day sucked considering I was only 8 at the time.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:15:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Happyplantgirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He eventually got better and stopped being a dick. He's old now, and I'm almost in my 30s. I held a grudge for a long time but with time I got over it. He's a lonely guy who had a lot of problems (drinking, gambling, my mum cheated on him and left him for his best friend). Now that I'm older I can sympathise with how he used to be. He's like 65 now, lives alone, no friends, no hobbies, just work, I'm the only one from our family who speaks to him. My brother totally cut him off but I just couldn't.
elphieisfae ยท 85 points ยท Posted at 18:09:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
3 year old here. Single mom.
It's been nearly 2 months.
The Father's day gift still sits on the table.
The excuses are in Facebook messenger.
I work 5 days a week. In 3 weeks I'll be going to class the other two.
I won't have days off until i take them off.
Other people are raising my child at the moment and in the weekends i work just to pay my babysitter.
And people wonder why i don't talk about his dad.
There is nothing I can say anymore. There is nothing. It is a vast empty space that is best filled with me and my kid stealing time when we get it.
I got a 3.75 this summer for gpa. 2 years and I'll be a teacher. He starts kindergarten when i start teaching.
Keep looking forward.
You got this.
We got this.
thedude346 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:17:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry, that's hard
You can do it, though. I know you can
elphieisfae ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:52:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. That is very kind of you. I don't have a choice but to do it - believe it or not, it's easier knowing that this is the only choice. No what ifs, only "let's do this."
but in all seriousness i've had a horrible past few days. thank you.
ifeelnumb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:09:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Acquaintance of mine had a baby at 15, but still managed to go to college and then medical school and residency before they put in hour restrictions. You totally got this.
awesomedude4100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:40 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
18 year old here with a great mom, you got this!
Maniacalmama ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 18:19:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a hard lie. It's hard to be the bigger person. I hate telling my child lies like this, especially "we divorced because we just didn't get along." The truth is he was a philandering piece of crap who never came home. Plus, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. It's always hard to know when is the right time to start telling the child the truth. Kids get mad if you lie to them about why their parent never saw them or the reason for the divorce. But you also get crap if you tell the truth. There was a /r/relationships post where everyone condemned the mother for telling her 15 year old that the marriage ended because her dad had cheated and her stepmother was the woman he cheated with. When do you start telling the truth?
Lexidoodle ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:51:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know. That's why we split too. Right now, she's too young to understand that people aren't just straight up good or bad. Sometimes good people do bad things, and sometimes bad people can do good things. I figure she'll be a young adult before I can tell her what really happened if she wants to know. I don't want to poison their relationship, but if I catch her dating someone similar to her father, we will have that talk to help save her from some life changing decisions.
WinterOfFire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:24:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents had some emotional infidelity on both sides but I wasn't told about it until I was probably 17 or so and ready for an adult conversation. I think if you keep it honest but vague and don't outright lie then it is ok and most kids will understand. If they are old enough to really understand that good people make bad choices and they ask, then they are old enough to know.
I think saying you didn't get along is fine. You didn't get along because he cheated. Other things you can say that are still true are that sometimes things just don't work out or we were not really happy when we were together and it wasn't good for us to be together. One thing my parents told me when I was about 8 was that their fighting was hurting us and they didn't want us to have to grow up in a house with all that fighting. That rung true to me because when my parents fought, it was the worst feeling in the world and it meant they loved me and were trying to help me, not hurt me.
My last bit of advice is to let your behavior speak for itself. My mom bad mouthed my dad over stupid stuff and it made me resent her. My dad only had kind things to say about my mom and his actions were kind and it really affected what I thought of him.
thedude346 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:23:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just curious, if your kids are still young, would you tell them the truth when they're older? I'm 99% sure my parents' split (circa age 13 for me) was just mutual dissatisfaction, but once or twice my dad has dropped these infidelity accusations in some emails, and I think is still unhappy deep down about the whole thing-certainly on "never want to talk to, see, hear about or be around him" terms with my stepdad, despite remarrying himself. I don't really care all that much and it wouldn't change how I think of either parent, but sometimes I feel like I want to know. Then other times I feel like I don't care, or it's not my business to start with.
Sorry for the wall of text. And yes, mothers get so much crap, it's gross. People love to hate on and judge mothers for their every move, even when they do their best for their kids. I haven't seen it yet, but "Bad Moms" addresses this cultural trope, it may be an interesting movie to watch :)
Maniacalmama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My daughter from my ex is still so young that there'd be no reason to tell her now, but this is a question I think about a lot. Pretty much every time I have to lie. I don't know the answer. It's interesting to hear your perspective.
twitchy_taco ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:32:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom tried this on me once. I just told her that was impossible because he never has a job. No one gets why I find that so funny now.
SamuraiJakkass86 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:23:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My first thought; "Demon Hunter comes out today and fire mage is OP as SHIT. Sorry hun my party needs me!"
happysnappah ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:26:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you. It's so hard. BTDT. Mine are in their teens now and they definitely have seen the truth about their dad even though I did my best to never say a bad word about him and hid some of the more heinous shit he did from them. Best for them to realize these things themselves.
YutikoHyla ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:12:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother never lied to me or my brother about this, but she didn't tell us either. It was never mentioned. My parents divorced when I was 5 or 6, and my fathet lived with my grandfather for many years after that. We were always dropped off every other weekend. My father was never there for more than a few hours because of "work".
Eventually I realized (around 9 or 10) that he was just never going to be there. I asked my mother if I could just stop going, and she agreed as long as dad didn't make a fuss about it. He didn't. So my weekends that were supposed to be spent with him were instead spent alone with my PS2 or computer.
Kids are more perceptive than we give them credit for. They will, at some point, realize they are not wanted around.
Lexidoodle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:44:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We're getting to that point. She's pretty good at figuring people out (which ironically I believe she got from him). I never flat out lie. He usually tells me he can't make it because of work, but is posting on Facebook about what he's doing at the same time. She idolizes him and he's an unbelievable manipulator, so if she were to ask him, he would just lie to her. I usually say "daddy just texted and he said he has to .........". She'll figure it out eventually. When she does, I want her to know that I never kept her from him, but I won't bend over backwards to make excuses for him. She has an amazing step dad that would move heaven and earth just to make her smile. She's already starting to notice which one is at her games and school events.
YutikoHyla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:54:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you made a better choice the second time around than my mom did. Although that wasn't her fault, step dad was just good at hiding things from her.
I'm glad your daughter has a positive male role model. I couldn't imagine being a deadbeat dad to my own daughter, even if I did really stupid shit to my relationship with my wife.
Before anyone asks, we're doing fine. It's been awhile, we did counselling and are back on track in our marriage. This is also parenting advice. Just don't give up. Many things can be forgiven and worked through. Sometimes leaving is the answer, but just make sure you exhaust your options first. The biggest option you have is changing yourself (if you are the problem).
Lexidoodle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:05:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Her step dad is awesome. I also have a close male friend that is her "uncle" and takes her to movies and teaches her all sorts of cool things I know nothing about. She also sees both my parents and my ex's parents regularly. I don't love everything about the ex in-laws, but they love her to pieces and they shouldn't be denied seeing their granddaughter because their son is a idiot.
KittenTablecloth ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:14:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly what you should do. I'm glad you're letting her make up her own opinions instead of projecting your feelings.
My SO has a daughter, and her mom will make up lies about us all the time. Like it won't be our weekend to have her, but her mom will tell her it is. Then when we don't come pick her up, mom tells her it's because we forgot about her and don't love her. It breaks my heart when she asks why we didn't want to spend time with her, when in reality I would spend every day with her if I could. The hardest part is trying to assure that we would never do that without calling her mother a liar.
Lexidoodle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:34:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What the actual fuck? Why? Why even do that? You have to see that it's hurting the child. How do you knowingly hurt your child in an unnecessary way? I'm sorry man. Hopefully she'll figure it out as she gets older.
KittenTablecloth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:11:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm hoping so too :( Mom has actually done and said A LOT worse things than that. I could go on for paragraphs. Every time we report those things to our case worker, she tells us that there's not much to be done but that hopefully his daughter will grow up to learn who the better parents are. I just hope she believes us and doesn't get sucked in to her mom's lies.
Lexidoodle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother's ex-wife does this. It tears my brother up inside and hurts their kids. As much as I want to scream "your dad is a selfish ass, that's why!" , I won't. I want to be able to be totally honest when I tell her later on that he had every opportunity to be a large part of her life.
Pixelated_Penguin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:39:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're a great parent.
My mom was quite transparent about her thoughts on my dad. She blamed him for stuff he didn't do. Had us both (me and my father) thoroughly convinced that he was crap at parenting.
I'm really glad I learned different before he died, when I was 27. I still miss him like hell. He had his issues (and I inherited the photo albums to prove it), but he loved me.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:43:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Flavour of the week?
Bergie31 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 16:48:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Generally means he gets a new girl on his arm constantly, and everyone knows it will only last a week or so before he's in to another one
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:56:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh... Fuck that.
I'm okay living without STDs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
shhhh
you dont get a choice
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:12:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ice cream!
Lexidoodle ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:32:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He goes through women as often as most people change their bedsheets. I'm actually glad he chooses between them and she doesn't see him treating women so casually. No matter what, she's going to idolize him and I don't want her thinking that's how she deserves to be treated by a partner later in life.
dementeddr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:43:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I live like this. Because I don't change my bedsheets.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:58:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As much as it hurts to be rejected by her dad, it's probably better that a shithead like that is involved in her life as little as possible.
I think it might be worth working with a child counselor on how to help your daughter work through these feelings of abandonment. It's so easy for kids to think they did something wrong because they want that paternal or maternal approval and affection, and put all their hopes into their natural parent filling that role. I think organizations like Big Brother or Big Sister are really awesome in that regard.
I kind of wish we could just tell these kids that their parents are dead and that this absent parent is their uncle or something. All the people I know whose parents died are way better adjusted than those who were neglected because they know their parent didn't leave by choice.
Lexidoodle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:23:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Legally, I can't limit his time with her any more than it is. He usually just takes her to see his parents anyway, so she has a good time with her cousins and grandparents. We split when she was very young, so at least she's used to the idea that her dad lives somewhere other than with her, which is a weird saving grace. She has a great step dad and some awesome "uncles" (close friends of mine), so she's not hurting for adults that love and care about her luckily.
neverbuythesun ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:42:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Trust me, she'll be grateful for it- I was raised by a step dad (though I call him dad) and my mum and although it still stings a bit that my dad picks and chooses when he wants to be in my life it never bothered me as much as it could've because I grew up with a loving family and knew I always had people who would do anything for me (even if I was a little shit sometimes.)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She will figure it out. I promise. It can be as easy as letting him be the one to tell her he'll be there on the phone and then let the cards fall. My father never bad mouthed my mother and coming to understand that she was an addict on my own was invaluable.
Lexidoodle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't doubt she will. I think we're going to let her be more involved in visit planning as she gets a bit older. I need to give her the opportunity to see it, but not shove it down her throat. Right now, I don't even tell he's coming if I can help it because he cancels last minute so often.
Ashkela ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good parenting.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:35:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a kid whose mom trash talked her dad, thank you.
My dad got his act together around the time I was a preteen and now we have a great relationship.
gene1113 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:38:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are a good mom.
bearcatshark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for doing that.
LauraAstrid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:53:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My fiance's ex-wife tells this to their daughter. It's not true though. The ex-wife has a new baby and I think she just wants the daughter, who is 10, to be around to help. She constantly tells us the daughter can't come over this weekend because she has x and y planned. One weekend my fiance's mother picked up his daughter to come swimming at her house. We went over to see her and she says, "I thought you guys were on vacation." Her mom's just a cunt.
InTransitHQ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:54:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Been there. Just be ready for the day she asks you why he has time for all the hobbies her dad tells her about but not for her. Mom almost swerved off the road the day I asked that question at around 8.
Lexidoodle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What did your mom say? How did you take the answer? She's started asking why we "broke up" and I've managed to come up with something honest but age appropriate. I'm not sure how I would answer that one though.
Korsola ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:55:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is 51 and she's still mad at her dad for pulling shit like that. She told me once that she waited outside for a couple hours for her dad to pick her up and when his car finally turned that corner she was so happy. And then he just kept driving down the street... Said she chased his car down the block and he didn't even slow down.
Protecting your kid from living that type of disappointment is a good thing. I hope her dad gets his shit together for your daughter but at least she's got a great mom.
SpaceCowGirl93 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:58:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good on you for not bad talking her father. He might be a scumbag and you're right that she'll figure it out eventually, but kids know they are part mommy and part daddy and when you say daddy is a loser, they take it really personally.
You probably already understand that based on your actions though. . . I just think it's really important, having grown up hearing "you're dad's a bum/loser/idiot". He is, but I didn't know what to do with that as a kid.
Lexidoodle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:11:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She would take it personally if I said that for sure. I see parts of him in her all the time. Luckily he's not a criminal or the type of person that would require me to be more frank with her. He's just sucky at relationships (romantic and family).
krazytekn0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
good luck. I'm sorry for all that you are going to go through trying to protect her from the consequences of his actions and I appreciate the thought you put into it.
thegapinglotus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:26:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. I'll never tell my 7-year-old that she hasn't seen her bio dad in 5 years because I can't know if he's shooting up today or not. I am so thankful for my partner, that she has a wonderful man in her life that's been her father since she was 3.
brettf123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Props to you, I know way too many parents who will go out of their way to vilify the other without realizing it is damaging to a child. It takes a strong person to protect their child this way knowing they will have to lie and protect someone they do not get along with as well
Hegiman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Having an absentee parent sucks I'm 43 and still have moments where I get so angry because I never had a proper father figure. Protect them from that a-hole as long as you can.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:14:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that band 'everclear' wrote
a songseveral songsall of their songs about this scenarioFPSGamer48 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:53:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel sorry for your daughter for having such a shit father, but I feel really happy for her that she has such a great mother! CONFLICTING OVERLOAD!
Morrioghayn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:13:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This got to me, something I've been doing regularly since he got out of prison.. it's one thing for him to lie to his kids though - and I will lie to protect their feelings, obviously not to cover for him, but don't make me complicit in breaking their hearts.. don't tell me that you'll be there so that I get them excited and build up their expectations higher.. be straight with me because honestly I couldn't think much less of you at this point! That way instead of counting down the days to the weekend when dad's coming I can plan something fun to distract them..
I reached a point where I realized I can't be the fall guy for this.. I can't be the one building him up in their eyes, when he went to prison it could have been the easiest thing in the world to take all my rage and hurt and tell the kids the truth, break him down in their eyes so that they'd never be invested enough in him again so that he could never hurt him the way he hurt me - but that isn't the way it works, they love him to bits and they think he's the biggest strongest bravest man in the world and I won't ever take that away from them. But in an effort to protect that image of him in their minds I'd unwittingly become his co-conspirator, his enabler, I was leveraging the trust and faith they had in me and using it to get their hopes so high that they'd be crushed over and over.. never again..
I don't tell them he's coming unless he's confirmed from the car on his way.. it's always a nice surprise, because he is soooo 'busy with work', I'd rather they have no expectations when it comes to him, not because I hate him, not because I want them to think so little of him that they don't expect basic human interactions or respect from him, but because I can't spend another 12 years helping him create situations which devastate them.
Lexidoodle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was very well put.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:00:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's got to be tough. Thank you for choosing what's harder for you instead of harder for him or your daughter.
My parents (dad and step mom) made my biological mother let me down instead of being the messengers, so she'd explain to me exactly how much more fun and exciting and important her new boyfriend was.
Bloodypussy69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:08:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This also important bc people do change. My daughter's father is a recovered addict and for years he didn't see us and we were in little to no contact. After he had gone through nearly a year of treatment, he started talking to me more trying to build my trust before I let him see our child. Now her and I both rely on him and he is 100% supportive. I don't want to sound like I'm bragging, I had fucked up lows, and I did give up on him for a while, but things changed and we're happy now. I'm so glad I never said anything bad about him to anyone (my daughter, my parents, friends, etc) because it'd be a lot harder for the. to get over those feelings especially my child
Lexidoodle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:36:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately in his case, it's a mental issue. He has "sociopathic tendencies" (doctor's words, not mine), so he's incapable of putting her first for any reason other than it benefitting him. He's not a danger to her, because he knows what expectations exist to prevent him from the embarrassment of having his visitation taken away.
Bloodypussy69 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:51:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry to hear that :/ .....anyway my best to you as a single mom. I was until recently. You're doing a great job and your daughter is gunna rock it later in life bc she had you to look up to.
Lexidoodle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:31:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks :), luckily I'm remarried to someone wonderful that is doing everything right for her and showing her exactly how she deserves to be treated by a father figure.
Bloodypussy69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:07:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aw, I'm so happy to hear that! Best to you!
opalorchid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I take pictures any time my son and boyfriend are in the same vicinity so later on our son will think his dad loved him. I don't expect my boyfriend and I will stay together and I don't want our son to know his dad never wanted him around. I don't want our son to know his dad would rather spend his free time cheating on me with some dumb cunt he met on meetme rather than spending time with the toddler that idolizes him.
Relvnt_to_Yr_Intrsts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
what
opalorchid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My relationship is going to hell and my boyfriend is a shit father. I want to protect my son from ever knowing his dad doesn't love him (partly in hopes that he'll get his shit together and be there for our son later on in life) so I take pictures when they're near each other. The pictures come out super cute, but in reality my boyfriend is always telling our toddler to get away from him. Someday my son will have these pictures and just assume his dad loved him as a baby like dads are supposed to- but I expect to be a single mom by then.
If my son figures out his dad wants nothing to do with him, it won't be from me.
EpsilonRider ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Idk man, it may or may not be worse for him to grow a older and wonder what happened. He's got false memories of a typical loving father to someone who wants absolutely nothing to do with him when he's older. Some people blame themselves, especially if they remember their father to be caring and loving. Just reminds me of a Fresh Prince moment of 'how come he don't love me man?' But your the mother and have the best insight to the situation so I won't and can't say your wrong.
opalorchid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:23:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well when we split I'm going to be in another state. I only came to this state for my SO's new job, which has crazy hours and swing shifts. While my son is growing up he can just think daddy's busy with work/the distance is too much/etc. When he gets older (like teen or young adult) he might piece things together, at which point I won't lie to him, but I'm hoping by then my so will regret all the time he wasted and want to have a relationship with our son.
EpsilonRider ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:21:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hadn't realized you were the same user as the others roost I replied to lol. Well seems like you've got it worked out, I think it's good that you at least leave him the option to be in his son's life before you completely decide to bounce.
pixelmeow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never bad mouthed my daughter's father. I lied when he didn't show up, he had to work or something. She figured it out when she was 14 or so, came to me and talked to me about it. I knew she'd see it someday, his true colors would come out. I blame his wife as much as him for him being a shitty father.
FedoraFerret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do me a favor and give her dad a punch in the face for me, and also on behalf of all the other children who's fathers abandoned them. kthxbai.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't feel like this is a common lie, surely. I'm sorry you have to deal with that shit though. Hugs. You sound like a good Mother.
Saltysweetcake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That makes me sad for you too as a mother to deal with. Good for you for not talking trash about the dad, most people don't play fair after divorce and speak ill of the other parent...even though it's forbidden in court.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:09:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As the child of a family like this, I would say that hiding me from it only made me more angry when I found out. I felt like they shouldn't have covered up how bad of a person and how selfish my dad was. A kid deserves to know who their parent really is so they can treat them how they should be.
Saltysweetcake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:16:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As also a child of a family like this, I found out on my own and it NEVER diminished the love I have for my father. Yes it hurt me to gradually find out the truth that he wasn't the best husband to my mother or even the best dad (somewhat absent). It hurts me if anyone ever badmouths my father to this day, I never took it as him not loving me. He's just a flawed man. I disagree that kids have the right to know any adult business because they can easily be brainwashed by one parent against the other and forced to pick sides. They don't have the emotional maturity to handle information like this.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:49:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some kids don't some do. I think it depends on the situation entirely. Unfortunately there really isn't a definite way to go about handling the situation to make sure the child is affected as little as possible.
Lexidoodle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:55:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly it. She loves her dad. She's going to love him no matter how many times he hurts her. If she were to find out that he was cheating and confront him, he would just lie and pit her back against me. He doesn't believe he did anything wrong to this day, so it's not like he would own up to it. It would just put our daughter in a horrible position of feeling like she wasn't allowed to love both her parents.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't wanna sound stupid, but what does "choosing his flavor of the week" mean?
Lexidoodle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's opting to spend that weekend with a new girlfriend that likely won't be around long, instead of with his daughter.
ShinjoB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lady friend of the week, presumably.
diesel_stinks_ ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 16:42:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Make sure you're in a stable relationship before having a child, problem solved.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:41:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of people believe that they are in a stable relationship when they get pregnant. You can only control yourself. You can't predict how or when someone will change.
diesel_stinks_ ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 17:47:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Women often like to delude themselves into thinking that they're in a relationship with a guy who wants to have children with them, they just assume that's what the relationship is leading to. Unless a guy says he wants kids, he probably doesn't want kids and having one will almost definitely lead to serious problems.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And what about when it's the woman who changes and abandons the child? Do you say the man was deluded? Or is every relationship break always 100% the woman's fault?
diesel_stinks_ ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say that she should have used one of the many, MANY options available to her to prevent that situation.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So the man has no responsibility or agency here? It's all on the woman to know when a relationship won't work in the future or know that she will change her mind about having kids - and the man is a bystander who is at her mercy? Come on.
A lot of kids are planned - meaning that the man was on board too and knew what was happening. You sound like one of those guys who think women are out to steal your sperm and "trap you" into raising a baby.
Men have choices too. Condoms are very effective, and if you know you never want kids, there is a surgery for that.
diesel_stinks_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:30:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No choice, no responsibility.
She's the only one with control over whether or not she has a child.
That's not the topic of this discussion, we're talking about kids who have to grow up without their father, and those kids are almost always unplanned.
No, they're not, they're actually pretty ineffective.
Not really. If you're a young, healthy male, it's very difficult to find a doctor who will perform a vasectomy for you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:34:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess if you believe that condoms are ineffective and that you can't get a vasectomy [even though I have NEVER seen a man have a hard time getting a vasectomy because of age, and I know several men under 40 who have received one no problem] then maybe you should just not have sex. You seem paranoid that nothing you can do will prevent an unwanted child. Stay away from vaginas then.
The reason I brought up planned kids is because after divorce many kids absolutely DO lose their fathers (or mothers) to abandonment - they get a new boy/girlfriend and start living a new life. Look around, Im sure at least one person can confirm.
diesel_stinks_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Condoms are only about 85% effective, that's pretty poor compared to most forms of birth control. I also have a child because of a broken condom.
If you're young, you have to seek out childfree doctors, and they're pretty rare. There aren't even any in my state. Hell, I had trouble finding a doc who was willing to perform a vasectomy on me, and I already had a child and was in my late 20s.
40 is pretty damn old. Many men are sexually active for more than 20 years at that point, that's more than enough time to end up with an unplanned child.
Right, because that's a realistic expectation to have of people.
Am I paranoid if I already have a kid because of a broken condom?
It's more common that they don't, actually.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, well I can see this is going to go absolutely nowhere.
I meant that the men I knew got v's well before they were 40.
I don't think all people should be celibate - but if you're extremely worried that someone is going to get pregnant when you don't want them to, and you're pushing all of the responsibility and blame onto that one person, then it doesn't seem fair of you to continue to sleep with them.
Birth control failures/mistakes happen. That's the risk we all take. Very very few people are actively trying to sabotage others. Most people would be just as freaked out as you would be by an accidental pregnancy.
I never said that most kids lost their parents to abandonment after divorce, only that many do. You acted like it wasn't possible at all because if people just chose the right partner these things wouldn't happen. In real life, that's not how this works.
diesel_stinks_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:59:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did they already have kids?
Only one person has control over whether or not a child is born/conceived.
And there are remedies in those situations.
I never claimed that this was the case. I said that women make assumptions and their children suffer for it.
Women have options.
Most don't.
No, I made the claim that a child is much more likely to not have a parent in their life if they were unplanned.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:09:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not all of them already have kids. If you ask around, you'll see that it's pretty common to get a vasectomy in your 20's with no questions asked. I know that it can vary by area of the country and access to medical facilities, but all in all, it's much harder to convince a doctor to tie a woman's tubes.
Im saying that I don't agree with you that only one person is responsible. I don't think we are ever going to agree on that point. I think that if a man is having unprotected sex, even if his girl is on something, he is still partly responsible because even the best birth control pill is not 100% effective. Both people took the risk to not use condoms together knowing that pregnancy was at least a small possibility. The most effective thing outside of abstinence is woman on some form of bc AND man using condoms. Both people blocking.
Men make assumptions too. How many times have you heard a guy say "I thought she was on the pill" when he didn't even ask her? Everyone can be stupid about this subject. Equality!
Okay, I guess that because most people don't abandon their kids it doesn't matter that my point was that some do and that you don't always know when that will happen or for what reason. The whole point of bringing that up was that you were talking about how if women just chose better partners kids wouldn't be abandoned.
diesel_stinks_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:18:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did ask around, and it's not common.
I know, I don't care, you're wrong.
Day after pill, abortion... she still has options.
I do agree that he's responsible for having unprotected sex, but a woman can't expect a man to devote his entire life to her and her child if he never wanted to.
Never. I've only ever heard guys say that the woman claimed to be on the pill.
Most DIVORCED people don't abandon their kids, probably because both parties agreed to have children.
It has nothing to do with who they're choosing, it has to do with when they're choosing to have a child. They could be dating a guy who would make a wonderful father, but if he's not ready to have kids, or doesn't want to have kids with her, her children are going to have a rough time.
orlanthi ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:48:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Marry a horse?
happysnappah ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:28:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh fuck off.
diesel_stinks_ ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 17:30:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The truth hurts when you live in your own little delusion, huh?
happysnappah ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:34:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, not delusional because married people with kids never split up. Because relationships never change over time. Because people don't go nuts and decide they just don't want all this responsibility anymore. Because everyone has a crystal ball and can tell that none of the above will ever happen. I stand by my "Oh, fuck off."
diesel_stinks_ ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:42:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be willing to bet that this women (along with most women who have kids without fathers) was never married to the father of her child(ren) and never even discussed having children with him.
happysnappah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How the fuck do you know that? Oh, right. You don't.
diesel_stinks_ ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because every instance that I know of where a man isn't involved in his child's life, it's because the woman decided to pop out a baby without being aware of whether he wanted a child with her or not.
happysnappah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:56:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the anecdata. The divorce rate disagrees with you.
Edit: Oh, I just saw in another reply your view is formed by the fact that you are a deadbeat dad. Cool.
diesel_stinks_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:58:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Most divorced fathers remain in their kid's lives.
happysnappah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:00:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And many don't.
diesel_stinks_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:03:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not really, at least not compared to the fathers who were never married to the mother of their children in the first place.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:54:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's a simple and inexpensive way to avoid getting someone pregnant. Wear a fucking condom.
diesel_stinks_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guess why I have a kid.
Lexidoodle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was married and he wanted children tyvm. He didn't even want a divorce, but he refused to stop sleeping around. If you think every divorce is a result of people not being in a stable relationship, you're deluded.
diesel_stinks_ ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ignoring the fact that you sound like someone who is just making up stories because you hate men....
I never said anything about divorce, I said you brought a child into an unstable relationship. If he was sleeping around, that wasn't a good situation to bring a child into.
klethra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Related: if she says she's on BC, be a gentleman and wrap your tool anyway. You never know when it's going to come out of the woodwork that she takes it "when [she] remember[s]."
source: nine month pregnancy scare that turned out to belong to another guy.
diesel_stinks_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good advice, but condoms are a pretty shitty form of birth control.
Source: I have a kid because of a broken condom.
Relvnt_to_Yr_Intrsts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
all forms are actually shitty, scary truth.
99% effective? that means that out of 50 times, you're more than 50% likely to fail
diesel_stinks_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, some of them are pretty good. Condoms are only about 85% effective in practice.
uttplug ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry that your partner sucks. To make such a commitment as raising a child then to just brush it off... But work is just as a confusing a thing to a child as his flavour of the week. You should just be honest with your child, it'd be the ethical thing to do - they often have little to no innocence and will internalize things they don't understand as their fault.
Lexidoodle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She understands work. I've worked her entire life, including getting called in at all sorts of weird hours. She understands that work pays bills and sometimes it comes up at inconvenient times. If he was no part of her life, I would be a bit more forthcoming with information, but she sees him every other weekend(ish) so it would be wrong to poison that time with him.
10S_NE1 ยท 3141 points ยท Posted at 13:06:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sex is something only married people who love each other do.
[deleted] ยท 3953 points ยท Posted at 13:24:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
2meterrichard ยท 1798 points ยท Posted at 13:41:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're grounded from the computer for two weeks."
"After the other stuff I saw on there, I'm OK with that."
BlueHighwindz ยท 797 points ยท Posted at 14:03:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Since this is the 21st century her next question would be: "Source?"
IHaveNothing2Say ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:24:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bob's Burgers
pootaboo ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 14:15:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One guy, one jar
[deleted] ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 14:29:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tame
Warchemix ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:34:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh buuuulllllllshit I still hear that popping sound in my nightmares bro.
PM_Me_Rude_Haiku ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:38:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know...for kids!
account_1100011 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:13:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
gallon sized pickle jar
KookyDoug ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:49:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Putrid sex-object?
xHaZxMaTx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
rotten.com (is that still a thing?)
Iorith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Been a long time, but the last time I went on it, it was pretty toned down. That or I've just gotten used to that shit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
2 guys 1 icepick?
I think what it's called
did_you_read_it ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it's a jar file and deploys a website in his ass.
Thenotsogaypirate ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:35:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck off
OnlySpoilers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even for you, gaypirate?
Thenotsogaypirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not that gay
BiIbo_Faggins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:57:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jar squaaatterrrr
Sphyrwa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:09:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
casualblair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Two jars, one sith
ProtoJazz ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 16:14:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's from Bob's burgers. I think Gene was looking up transvestites or something.
Rakonat ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:20:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This raises the scariest thought of being parent to me.
If you kid finds better porn than you can, how do you go about getting them to tell you were to find more?
boobsmolester ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:52:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ask to borrow their computer then check their brower history.
MuonManLaserJab ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:11:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
S...so I can block it?
Bleda412 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:33:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People ask for the source to verify the information and to evaluate it rather than receive someone else's evaluation. It is logical and has been for thousands of years.
eat_a_diaper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
gibbe da sauce bause
PM_ME_BOOB_PICTURES_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Vagina.
Penguinfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But there are so many! Which one, so I can avoid it?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cause we all know being horny is a recent development
UnfortunatelyMacabre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a Bob's Burgers reference.
Klove128 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Why did I find porn photos on the computer?"
"Cause I couldn't find the source"
Stacia_Asuna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Boku no Pico
Sexual_tomato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Little Timmy must have found mommy and daddy's save file. Oh dear.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You mean "Sauce pls"
Rockapp2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
xNoxClanxPro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sauce*
blacksheeprising ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You spelled sauce wrong.
PhilMcraken1289 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:40:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
www.stickytits.jizz enable adblock and don't use mobile
weird_guy152 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:07:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're asking a lot
burg3rb3n ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:56:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That a Bob's Burgers reference? God I love that show.
2meterrichard ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:07:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes sir.
Frustrable_Zero ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 14:34:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll just be here for an additional two months if it's cool ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)"
kennyl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:47:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah, I've had enough internet for
todaymy childhood."Jhavul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
( อกยฐ _สอกยฐ)
sir_joober ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:20:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sauce?
IronElephant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:59:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bob's Burgers
Painting_Agency ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:37:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Two weeks without "Two Girls One Cup" is a good two weeks.
Heddron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:13:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gene!
megalodonqueen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:18:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bob's Burgers. Th episode where bob drives the taxi for Tina's birthday.
brettf123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gene stop
TheNargrath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once you see it, you can't un-see it. That shit stays with you.
papalonian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll just take the computer with me in my backpack for two weeks then!
z500 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:50:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And when the woman has four penises in her at the same time, then stands over the men and pees on them, is that part of being in love too?
CheeseNBacon2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:14:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Five midgets. Spanking a man. Covered in thousand island dressing. Is that making love?
NoMoreLurkingToo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:09:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, what kind of porno was that?!
Iorith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The good kind.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It made Crotch Capers 3 look like Naughty Nurses 2!
j5kDM3akVnhv ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:12:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Those are Mormons."
odenoden ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:11:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sauce?
Daxx22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"And you were there mom!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know animals could get married...0.0
grizzfan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Mom, does that mean our pastor and I are married?"
fff8e7cosmic ยท 361 points ยท Posted at 13:56:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Listen, we've been married 15 years and your older sister is 15. We figured you all would do the math sooner than later."
camelCasing ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 17:43:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents got married about 6 months before I was born. Interestingly, that was right as they realized that A: my mother was pregnant, B: she was going to start showing soon, and C: my grandfather would kill the both of them if he noticed either of the former two points before they got married.
jpallan ยท 95 points ยท Posted at 18:25:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother, a Roman Catholic from the 1950s, always said that first babies can come any time after the marriage, but the second one will take nine months.
camelCasing ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:36:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's great lol
ferociousPAWS ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:08:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol I've heard that from a number of older catholics
erichkeane ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:50:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Heh, my parents were married in May, and I was born early in the following January. It took me way longer than I care to admit to realize there is only 8 months between those.
Will_BC ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:32:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You could've been premature though. I think I was like 6 weeks early? My parents were together longer than 9 months though
erichkeane ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:36:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was not... Actually 2 days late, as my parents told me a number of times (they always told me I was lazy from before birth, so I was a C-Section!).
Spoilers: I AM lazy.
Will_BC ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:42:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah well I tried
Niquarl ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:35:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Though, 8 months is quite long so they probably were gonna get married before they knew about you..
erichkeane ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:53:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, yes, absolutely. They were engaged when I was conceived, and didn't find out about me until after the wedding. Just was a little entertaining to hear about "JESUS says no sex before marriage!" after I'd done the math.
kennyl ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:52:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Er, what I meant to say was that we've been married for 15 years and your older sister is 15 years and 9 months old."
MissAnneStanton ยท 293 points ยท Posted at 13:56:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only have sex with married women. Got it mom!
deliciousnmoist ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 15:09:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And be married yourself!
Daxx22 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:43:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man this party is swingin!
kennyl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:52:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Josh Duggar?
kblairb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Only married women can get pregnant, the body just knows."
[deleted] ยท 503 points ยท Posted at 13:53:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Jill-Sanwich ยท 686 points ยท Posted at 14:45:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The concept of sex at any point in time didn't exist in my household. If my mom had her way, her kids would be convinced of The Stork into adulthood. She referred to human body parts as "thingies" and "stuff in that area". For the longest time I thought words like "boobs" or "nipple" were actually bad, nasty words. Hell I got yelled at when my mom found out I was using my own money to buy tampons because they could "kill me" and were "inappropriate for little girls". Her drunken attempt at a birds and the bees talk with me resulted in me getting grounded because sex ed got to me first. I was 16.
MarcelRED147 ยท 421 points ยท Posted at 15:09:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man, a drunken birds and the bees talk using "thingies" and "stuff in that area" would have been hilarious.
Daxx22 ยท 165 points ยท Posted at 16:41:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Until you realize this constitutes far too much of what passes for "Sex Ed" for many children. And then the parents wonder when the kids get pregnant at 14.
Nambot ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 16:47:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
... at least that's how I recall it.
showyerbewbs ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:56:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if that's a fever dream or a Rick and Morty segment.
An0therB ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:29:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your uncle Rick"
I'm sure it was intentional.
Nambot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually it was entirely unintended. Rick was just the first nane that came to mind. Besides, is Rick ever mentioned as being an uncle? Grandpa and father sure.
An0therB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's an uncle in at least 37 timelines in the Central Finite Curve.
sheikheddy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:26:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love that you put so much effort into this!
Plethora_of_squids ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:53:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow....I feel kinda bad for upvoting. That's sad.
kennyl ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:49:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"So, honey, when a man and a woman love each other very much, the man sticks his thingy into the women's stuff in that area. That's how you were born, sweetie!"
"But what about the blood coming out of my privates?"
"Oh, that? Don't worry about that."
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:41:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
VierDee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:59:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
u_torn ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:53:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That or dangerously misinformative
jefferylucille ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:48:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Im picturing something that looks similar to drunk history.
lwierd6 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:19:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sign her up for a TED talk.
Siphon1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:15:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Id pay money for this
Oberoni ยท 207 points ยท Posted at 15:10:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, if she was that skittish about her body she might not use them and only knows them from when toxic shock was a thing. Something like 40 deaths were connected to their use.
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 16:14:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But that was back when they tried to make some miracle long-time tampons that you could practically wear the whole period. Wearing normal tampons (like 5-8ish hours) is as safe as it can be.
Of course most people don't know that if her mom grew up during that time it's understandable. Still, I don't think they would sell as good as they do if they went around killing people.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:11:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Spadeykins ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:22:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that what the weight rating is for?
Sweetbadger ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:50:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This diaper has belt loops!
QuasarsRcool ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:57:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, I assumed it was once a day
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:04:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, I wish. It depends a lot on the people and how your body works (how much blood there is), but usually you switch a couple-several times a day.
Also, you just gave me a good chuckle, so thank you.
celticchrys ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:00:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It could be anything from once an hour to twice a day, depending on the individual.
QuasarsRcool ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:28:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good fuck, that would be so expensive and time consuming to manage
celticchrys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Yes, it is.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:21:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, you're even supposed to change the silicone cups every 12 hours even if it isn't full. The regular tampons are 4-8 hours, and for some girls, they don't last that long in the early days of the period.
Tahmatoes ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:44:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's a reason many women aren't friendly with their uterus.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:34:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is a baby boomer and this wasn't her primary reasoning for saying no to them. While she did bring TSS up as a reason why I shouldn't use them as a kid, she said "girls have hymens and they're only supposed to be broken by their husbands after they get married. If you use tampons, it will break your hymen." Meanwhile, at the time she said that my close friends were 13 to 14-years-old and already had experience giving BJs to dudes and getting laid. Needless to say I took my allowance to buy tampons anyway.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 17:13:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know someone who died of toxic shock within the last five or so years it is still a concern
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:31:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did they leave it up there for multiple days?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:44:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No they were long term sick, after just over half a day they were feeling ill and put it down to sickness and by then it was too late
GRYFFIN_WHORE ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:29:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me they were only to be used after you've been having sex, because it would take your virginity and stretch you too much. I was terrified of tampons. A girlfriend had to help me insert before going to the pool when we were 14, it was terrifying with that background knowledge.
Sochitelya ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:02:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was doing sex ed (back in the late 90s), the risk of TSS was so drilled into our heads that I'm still afraid of using tampons.
celticchrys ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:02:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a bunch of lies based on 1970s technology, and no longer applies, really. Just change every 4-6 hours, and you should be fine.
I_done_a_plop-plop ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:38:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is a shame about Toxic Shock.
It sounds pretty cool, like a good punk band, but a feverish bacterial infection isn't cool at all. They should rename it to something less edgy.
By way of example, think of Tuberculosis. These days people hardly fall ill to it, but back in the day when it had the much more romantic name of Consumption, people had it all the time.
motherisaclownwhore ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:56:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also, the possibility that some of the cotton can get stuck in there and cause infections. My mom was wary of me or herself using tampons for a while.
FuffyKitty ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:10:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was similar, but the really sad part is she was a pediatric nurse. She about passes out if I tell her I've talked casually to my kids about birth control, STDs, showed them condoms, and given them age appropriate books about sex early on.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:03:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ew. I would not want my mother showing me condoms. I brief warning to use them is sufficient for me.
lnvu ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:10:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even the warning is too much haha
edit: was* damnit I'm not a kid anymore cries inside
LainExpLains ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:17:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is some of the weirdest abuse I've ever heard of.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:40:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah this is just fucked up, not funny.
ishicourt ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:30:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum was a bit crazy when I was growing up (one time I told her I was probably going to have sex before marriage because that's what everyone on TV did, so she called me a "slut," threw a pillow at me, and didn't speak to me for a week... I think I was 8 at the time), but she was very free about tampons. I got my period for the first time (and freaked out because I never got proper sex ed), and she handed me a tampon and told me to "stick it up there." Parents are strange.
Zarokima ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:58:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least you had sex ed. I learned everything from porn and thought there was something wrong with me when I couldn't cum almost immediately just from penetration.
My school's sex ed consisted of STD descriptions and the stages of
fetalunborn person development, and a girls-only portion about menstruation, pad useage, and how tampons cause toxic shock while the boys got a free period (heheh) outside._angesaurus ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:01:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My house was kinda the same. My mom wasnt usually argumentative or difficult towards people but she had some pretty strong, Christian opinions. I remember when I was back from college for the summer after my freshman year and she took me to a regular appointment at my pediatrician (yeah I know I shouldnt have still been going to a pediatrician, but she was a very cool doctor) and my Dr. was telling me I should definitely have started birth control by now and I was like "I know but... talk to my mom." resulted in a very loud argument between them that went something like "THE PILL IS JUST GOING TO ENCOURAGE HER TO HAVE SEX!!" "SHES ALREADY HAVING SEX!" It made me smile because I think it finally made my mom realize she was being dumb since she knew I was already having sex and ESPECIALLY away at college.
KitchenSwillForPigs ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:07:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus. I need to go thank my mother. I knew the proper term for everything before I reached double digits. I was well prepared for my first period, and I was the one who told all my friends things their parents and sex ed wouldn't. When I lost my virginity, my mom gave me a high five.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:36:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Mom gave me a physical anatomy book. Just tossed it on my bed and never said a word.
I learned about sex from Grand Theft Auto and reddit.
ShortWoman ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:49:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And people like your mom are why sex ed in schools is so freaking important. Imagine bleeding "down there" and having no idea what was happening and being convinced you must be bleeding to death! =(
SidewaysInfinity ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:22:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a very similar experience, except my dad tried to make up for it by giving it to me (at 17) on a car ride to Chicago. I had read up on the important bits so the only thing I actually learned was that I should use my collegiate freedom to avoid ever being in a car with dad for long and that condoms roll open. Before anyone asks, yes I'm still a virgin, I'm pretty sure I'm asexual thanks.
Recoveringfrenchman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:37:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother, the free loving hippy that she was, had little to no boundaries. So I was confused while being babysat by one of her friends (which went full fundie later on) because I apparently wasn't supposed to use the (French word for) breast. It was a bad word. Titties? Apparently worse. Boobs? Oh lord. What am I supposed to call them then? What do you mean I'm not supposed to talk about them? I was still at a naive age where I thought all adults had everything figured out and where playing from the same book. Adults are weird.
TL;DR: Fundie had no love for fun bags.
DirectiveNineteen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not as frustrating and taboo-laden as you story, but my brother and I are both adopted so we have plausible deniability about my parents ever having sex. Similarly, my brother and I (now 28 and 31) have never talked about sex with them. We just sort of exist in this nice little bubble where we're not afraid to talk about sex, in the abstract, but since there's no evidence any of us has ever had it, we don't have to acknowledge that.
Minerva89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a milder version of Carrie.
Painting_Agency ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:39:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Poor you... but oh your poor, poor dad. He probably never even got to do it with the lights on.
BenjamintheFox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:39:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I kinda wanna slap your mom around a bit.
mysecretissafe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:44:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. My mom did that, and also called her adult time "playing cards". I didn't clue in until I was in my mid-20's and she started talking about how she had gotten a UTI 'playing cards'. Some game.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Jill-Sanwich ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:26:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That basically surrounded the majority of the reasons I was grounded throughout my childhood.
Gogohax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was sort of the same but it had the opposite result on me. I learned everything from cable TV and would get in trouble at school cause apparently words like "dick" and "slut" and "douche" are bad words. Who knew?
Jill-Sanwich ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:59:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I also "learned" a lot from TV and movies. Which really resulted in creating my own explanations for images I didn't understand and having a lot of confusion about things.
celticchrys ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:59:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are very blessed to have had sex ed class, at least. That sounds like a really unpleasant experience. I know a lady who told her daughter that tampons would "make her not a virgin," and make her hypothetical future husband not want her. Yes, really. She told her 10 year old daughter this. I was also 10, and horrified trying to figure out if it was massive ignorance or epic willful lying on the part of the mother.
Rockapp2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:29:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same. Im 17 years old, and never once got a sex talk, but it wasnt as bad as you where boobs and stuff were nasty words. It was common language in my house but i never knew what sex was until I was like 10, and my mom never talked to me about it. Although explaining to her that I'm not stupid and I know if you do it in le backdoor you don't get pregnant pretty much assured her I knew everything I needed to.
DrThrowawayToYou ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:34:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://controversy.amorphia-apparel.com/stork-a-fundamentalist-sex-education-parody-shirt/
covert_operator100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That might work for boys, but how could you deny a young girl tampons?
sarcazm ยท 785 points ยท Posted at 14:41:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha. That reminds me of a story. I'm a mother of 2 young boys. When my oldest son was about 3 or 4, he saw a photo of my husband and I when we were getting married. He asked about it, and I said, "That's mommy and daddy getting married." My son replied, "You're not married." I looked at my husband in confusion and said, "Yes, we are." Then my son started getting sad. On the verge of tears, I realized that he was upset because "he missed our wedding." I started chuckling (but also my heartstrings were being pulled). I explained to him that we got married before he was even born. That you get married and then you have kids. Then I said (half-jokingly) AND THAT'S THE CORRECT ORDER.
janisaf5 ยท 253 points ยท Posted at 15:10:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:) I was 5 when my mother was pregnant with her third child. I proudly told the nurse that my parents were getting married soon. She looked up at my parents and said "it's about time!" My parents have always been very clear that they were definitely married before I was born. (Actually they didn't cut it close, I was born 17 months after their wedding. But they were pretty defensive about it.)
kennyl ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 16:51:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"FOR THE LAST TIME, JANISAF5, WE'VE ALREADY BEEN MARRIED FOR 7 YEARS!"
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 17:18:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
janisaf5 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 17:34:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a pretty awful way for somebody to respond to an engagement. I'm really sorry.
acorngirl ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:02:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd been married for about 5 years when I got pregnant. Several of my classmates (college) asked me if I was going to get married once they noticed the pregnancy. I was confused and slightly offended.
contraigon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At first I thought this meant you were fat. Took me a second to realize that those people were just immature bitches.
DukeOfChaos92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Got married young while working at a restaurant. A shocked "you're married!? But you're so young!" was often followed by "do you have kids?" or "how many kids do you have?". Like damn, I know I married young but come on
Halinn ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:17:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents got married 5 or so months before my older brother's birth. Must've been a short pregnancy ;)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:48 on August 18, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"all born in wedlock?"
"Yeah.. But the boy was a close call."
GAGirlChild ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:16:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What did your parents respond?
janisaf5 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:25:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The nurse knew they were married - my mother's medical records said "Mrs. X" and they wore wedding rings, so they were more amused than embarrassed. I don't feel like I've ever been particularly successful in embarrassing my parents.
GAGirlChild ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:38:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I see hahaha . . . super cute :) And I'm sure they appreciate that.
What I hate in retrospect is my parents were always embarrassing me. And now that I'm older, I realize that all the things they did that I cringed at โ like singing in public โ are super super fun and I do them all the time myself.
I also really enjoy embarrassing my sister and nephews โ so it strikes me my parents may have enjoyed it too.
janisaf5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:43:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it will be fun when my nieces get old enough to be embarrassed. Not quite aware enough yet.
GAGirlChild ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Won't be long :)
Ansakicus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:23:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The fact that you started this with a smiley makes me happy. Thank you :)
burtwart ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:23:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma stands her ground on the fact that my dad was born 3 months early, perfectly healthy and wasn't premature. He was born in January of 67. My grandparents got married the previous June. Do the math.
janisaf5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:26:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That magical first pregnancy...
WinterOfFire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:10:25 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My son is five and thinks you get married in order to have a baby. He wants a sibling so he told me I need to marry daddy.
Edit: we are already married and he knows this.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 15:55:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When my daughter was 3 she was looking through my wedding album and saw our flower girl and then got super offended she wasn't our flower girl. It didn't make her feel better when I told her we got married years before she was even born.
icybluetears ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 16:21:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandaughter got really upset when she found out I was married to her granddad...She wanted to marry him.
SpyMustachio ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:48:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Awwww, that is so cute! heart melts
futurespice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's more Habsburg than cute
Slutallitits ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:46:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's so cute. It reminds me of when my mom told that when my brother was little and was watching my parents wedding video, he heard a baby cry and asked my mom, "Is that me?" And my mom laughed and said, "No, you weren't even born yet."
Fabgrrl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:06:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Similar. In my wedding album, there is a picture of me (bride) holding my baby nephew. My son always asks if it is himself. No, you weren't born for another 3 years.
NANIowan ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:51:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My son is almost 4, he was recently looking at pictures of our wedding. His main concern? "Where was I?"
It seemed he thought we had went and got married and didn't invite him to come along.
sarcazm ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:52:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I think that's what went through his head. In his mind, we, as a family, had never been apart. So, how could we have possibly gotten married without him knowing?
Nyan_Cat_Chick ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:54:40 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
D'aww ๐ญ๐ญ
Please_send_baguette ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, that's adorable!
Real_Adam_Sandler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had my mom take down the picture she was kissing my father cause I was jealous
aero_nerdette ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:37:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My sister thought that we'd been in my parents' wedding for a long time, because they renewed their marriage vows on their 10th anniversary, when I was 6 and she was 3. They dressed us up and let us be flower girls for the church service that day.
Brave_Horatius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:23:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My little brother used to throw temper tantrums when we wouldn't believe him that he remembers me being born and brought home the same way I remember him.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:56:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was seven or eight I secretly hoped my parents would get divorced and then marry each other again so I could be the flower girl at their wedding. I'm... pretty glad that didn't actually happen.
Pickselated ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, I was told I did the exact same thing when I was little
AndGraceToo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, you should remind him of this and renew your vows!
InQuizADoor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:59:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My son loves to point out a picture of me from my wedding. I told him "in that picture, you were in mamas belly" and it makes him giggle and hide his face. So cute.
Max_Thunder ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:04:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is no correct order. You don't have to get married, you don't have to get kids, and you don't have to be married to get kids.
It just feels weird that you'd tell your kid that sort of stuff, even if half jokingly.
sarcazm ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:25:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never said anyone "had" to do anything. The correct order for taking a shower is to take off your clothes and then get in the shower. But you certainly don't "have" to take a shower. And you can certainly take a shower without taking off your clothes. Now, whether or not one is more efficient than the other can lead to a discussion.
And I feel like if you are committed to having a child with another person (which takes up at least 18 years of your life), then you should be committed enough to be married to do it. I imagine a lot of Redditors would disagree with me on that. I read a lot of different relationship situations across the board here. Does it mean I agree? Or do I have to agree? Do they have to agree with me? Certainly not.
However, I think I can make the argument that getting married before you have kids is more responsible than having kids before you get married (or not married at all). While I wouldn't say "it's the only way," I would try to make the argument that it is certainly more responsible and efficient.
And it's not "Weird." Humans have been doing it for thousands of years.
abefroman78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is the sweetest thing I've heard in the past 5 seconds ;). No really though, super cute! I even teared up for him.
GAGirlChild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's so adorable!
Me-not-I ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:47:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
a: When my oldest son was about 3 or 4, he saw a photo of my husband...
b: When my oldest son was about 3 or 4, he saw a photo of me...
a+b = When my oldest son was about 3 or 4, he saw a photo of my husband and me...
:)
ScreamThyLastScream ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:25:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll die and the baby will die.
kennyl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:51:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And everyone will go to hell.
thegreekone2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:14:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My childhood friends got told this about kissing... They were pretty sheltered
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:03:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
thegreekone2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I stopped talking to them after elementary school and last I heard they used car seats until early high school. I hope they went to college far away...
Plsdontreadthis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, it's kinda true, in a manner of speaking. If a child doesn't have proper role models, it might not turn out well emotionally/mentally. If the parents split up, or are incredibly young, or are just careless, the child probably will end up "unhealthy".
oliviashanks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:11:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had friends from Peru who told me that the Catholic Church told them that women who used birth control would have deformed babies.
peartrans ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:40:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm better than being told you will burn and rot in hell for all eternity.
Andernerd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, it is much harder to care for a kid when there's only one parent in the house.
supershinythings ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:31:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That would be my older brother, Mom's bastard son from banging our Dad, who was married to someone else at the time.
OTOH, they had been married legally for two years by the time I was born.
Funny, he did turn out to be sick and unhealthy, but those were decisions he made himself - he decided to have back alley sex with a known male prostitute who gave him AIDS back in 1992.
He's still alive though, and that guy died within a few years of giving it to my brother, so the newer meds really work.
Excalibursin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, babies between married couples are LIKELY going to have better lives than those that aren't so she wasn't entirely wrong.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit. That's pretty fucked up.
mjheil ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:10:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That should be classed as child abuse.
Kate2point718 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:50:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I heard my parents talking once about a woman who had several kids without being married, and I just assumed that meant she was a medical miracle. Having kids without a husband sounded great to me at the time, so I started pretending all my dolls were single mothers.
10S_NE1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:23:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's awesome.
lawalter ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:56:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was little I thought it was illegal to have a baby before you're married because my parents made it very clear that that was bad.
GAGirlChild ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:16:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There have been times and places where it was
PeanutRaisenMan ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:44:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is something my neighbor told her son. When i got my girlfriend pregnant he was so confused as to how that could happen since we weren't married. Needless to say, they had to have a talk because of me and my reckless penis.
Euronomus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:17:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said "rabies."... She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a great dane.
coombuyah26 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:37:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe in your household. My mom told me, once I was mature enough to get it, "You never buy a car without test driving it."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:52:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best advice.
TheBrownWelsh ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:38:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Alternatively, my mum was a strict Catholic (at the time) who didn't have sex until she married my dad - yet she gave my brother and me very honest lessons on safe sex and how we'd probably end up doing it before we got married.
My mum is an odd duck. She doesn't like booze and thinks weed is a bad thing, yet she voted in favour of legalising weed and always makes sure I'm stocked up on gin.
willthesane ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:59:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this was the single worst lie that I feel screwed me up more than any other. I slept with a GF, then assumed that we'd get married eventually, so may as well do it now as later. 8 months later I was a divorced 20 year old.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:10:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read this as "sex is the only thing married people who love each other do."
supershinythings ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:26:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. My mother banged a married guy, my Dad. He eventually divorced his first wife and married my Mom, THEN they had me. By that time they already had lil' bastard, my older brother.
But she had the nerve to preach to me about getting married. Serves her right - I never married, and I never had kids. Both were my rebellion.
flyawaylittlebirdie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom couldn't say that to me because my parents were never married, instead she answered any questions I had when they came up assuming that if I had the question I was old enough to know the answer. Also gave me a bunch of books for the age range I was in that answered the questions.
Grimsterr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:15:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If this were true my gestation period was precisely 2 months, and my mom was actually smuggling a watermelon out of the church under her wedding dress, cause I saw those pictures, she was definitely stealing a watermelon.
FearMeIAmRoot ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:30:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And when the woman has four penises in her at the same time, then stands over the men and pees on them, is that part of being in love too?
...
Five midgets, spanking a man covered with 1000-isles dressing. Is that making love?
I_FIGHT_BEAR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/CXu5ErnoXJ4
MyLittleOso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Years later, the son, now a teenager browsing Pornhub, "Mom, you were married and in love with a lot of people!"
jrr05j ยท 137 points ยท Posted at 14:51:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favorite child"
Yes they do. At the very least, they have a least favorite child.
LilithAjit ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:18:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is a fucking saint, but this is really true. The hard part was when she found her least favorite hanging from her stairs, I remember she confessed to me that she was distraught by how she felt, because she thought she should feel much much worse than she did.
Truth is, he was troubled and broken, and wouldn't take advice nor help, unless it was financial help to fund his addictions. I don't blame her. But I wish she didn't feel so guilty about her feelings.
Least favorite is really apparent. Most favorite is usually dependent on the day, assuming you have more than 2 children.
BleedingAssWound ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:29:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WTF? Can you expand on this? Suicide?
LilithAjit ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:46:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, sorry yeah. Last December my big brother (he was always sort of a terror, from the day he was born until he died) hanged himself in my parents' house after a bad breakup and night of binge drinking his sorrows. He said something on facebook, and my oldest brother got concerned and texted my mom to check on him, and she found him. She's a nurse, she tried to perform CPR, but it was too late (and his dog bit her hard on the butt, she thought my mom was hurting him).
Unfortunately my brother had always had problems with addiction, and wasn't very good at living life as an adult. He struggled to hold a job and I was convinced he had undiagnosed BPD like my father and grandfather. But as a result he was very difficult to deal with for my mom. She tried keeping him afloat financially, letting him live with her, doing everything she could. And when he died, I think part of her was a bit relieved that he wasn't suffering anymore, like he clearly had been for years, struggling with drugs and alcohol. As a result of all of the shit he put my mom through, it was very clear that he was the problem child, where all 5 of the rest of us were growing up and having families, he was stuck.
[deleted] ยท -27 points ยท Posted at 20:53:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like he needed help but got a bunch of judgemental family members instead.
LilithAjit ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 20:55:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We helped as much as we could. Offered therapy, job hook ups, money. He didn't want anything other than the money, but thanks for your unreasonable assumption.
thedude346 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:30:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ignore that dick. Reddit loves to judge the ever-loving-fuck out of situations they know nothing about.
iCorrundum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They also love to jump to a stranger's defense without knowing the entire story.
thedude346 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the absence of any knowledge about the situation, why the hell would you assume negative things? That makes no sense.
I made no judgment about the situation either way because I simply don't know. Defending someone who's been unjustly attacked is no sin.
On that note, try giving people the benefit of the doubt once in a while; especially anonymous internet strangers you know nothing about.
Sushimonsteryum ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:32:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey you don't owe this person an explanation. You can't help someone who doesn't want help, but you already know that. You can't help it if some people choose to be idealistic about the world we live in and people they don't even know, don't let that comment bother you.
finalkickening ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:58:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can't always help. I've seen people broken from trying to save someone who didn't want it. Sometimes, you have to cut them loose to save yourself.
cronoes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
for real. there is such a thing as people wanting a death wish that you can't keep them from having - no matter how unreasonable.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:00:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
supershinythings ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:37:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Least favorite child checking in too.
arcanascu ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:20:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom says she loves us (me and my siblings) in different ways, and it might be naive but I believe it.
Chloe_Zooms ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:01:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I say this about my two best friends and what I mean is that, in part, but I also mean basically 'you alternate as my favourites'. A is more supportive and stable, but M is more fun and cool. I like you for different reasons because no person is the same, and you're both considered "best". But honestly and truly, I will feel connected to one more than the other at different times, which balances and makes them equal. Depending on which time this is I will always get "you like A/M more". On the bright side it looks like you have an honest answer to a difficult subject.
apfelmuss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:10:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my mom's least favorite child(ren) are our pet birds, i know this for a fact. She just puts up with the three of us because she has to.
Syzygye ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:00:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So... are you a parakeet?
apfelmuss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:54:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
no, asian child.
Syzygye ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:54:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I only have 1.
zgirlt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:32:07 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a mom, yes I have a least favorite child but which one changes depending on what is going on.
drivelhead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have a favourite child. I like aspects of each of them more than the other, but that doesn't mean that either one is my favourite or my least favourite.
Mod_ulate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom? You use reddit?
DangersVengeance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother openly admits her first is her favourite. My younger sister and I are naturally inferior as a result, despite our exams and lives since moving out being better.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, this isn't a lie for me. I have three, they are all very different, and I am crazy about all of them. :-)
max_caulfield_55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When your mom says "I love you but I don't like you that much/you were a hard child to love" it shouldn't really surprise them that you know you're the least favorite child and you're ready to move far, far away from them.
awesomedude4100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Im in the predicament of being the favortie of one and the keast favorite of the other (or so i think), life is... interesting
Texy ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 15:57:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When kids make fun of you, "They're just jealous."
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:05:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Of what?"
"I don't know."
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:13:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing like endlessly vacillating between crippling self-doubt and inflated self-worth, eh? This was a bad one for me. :(
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:43:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"They're laughing with you, not laughing at you"
"You're just imagining things"
"Everything will work out fine by itself"
"You don't have to make an effort, take negative feedback seriously or be critical of your work, you're better/smarter than all the others already"
"There will be time for that later"
"You look fine"
MsStJohnIfYouNasty ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:06:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're just imagining things." - parents gaslight worse than any shitty boyfriend I ever ever had.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:48:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No they're not. It's because I'm different, mom!!
Oddly enough, once I accepted they hated me for being different, it was easier. I just ignored it all because I realized that they were just little assholes. Made friends with the other weird kids and stopped caring I wasn't popular.
All the girls who picked on me got pregnant at 19, are in relationships with abusive men or are hooked on drugs. Meanwhile, I have my dream job, a hot spouse who treats me like their personal goddess and the hardest drug I've done is LSD. One time. I think I won.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is one of the most wonderful things I've read today. Saving this for when I start teaching. Thank you!
Project2r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:12:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, those fuckers aren't jealous, they're vicious little shits being assholes.
SARCASTIC_COMMENTS_ ยท 469 points ยท Posted at 12:43:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Either santa, or possibly how babies are born
PM_Me_Things_Yo_Like ยท 269 points ยท Posted at 13:13:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was also told that Santa makes the babies
4apalehorse ยท 181 points ยท Posted at 13:19:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you think he's coming down the chimney?
-The_Cereal_Killer- ยท 167 points ยท Posted at 14:08:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ho Ho Ho, big jolly Santa is going to give some Hoe Hoe Hoes a present of his big North Pole!
[deleted] ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 15:24:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
BUT YOU ONLY CUM ONCE A YEAR!
Mr-Frog ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:37:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But around 3 billion times on that one day...
themoray42 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:19:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you think his sack is so full?
eetsumkaus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:55:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
exactly, that's the best part about it
-The_Cereal_Killer- ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:51:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa spreads the joy of Cristmas to all the little boys and girls. Have you been 'naughty' or nice little boy, old Saint Nick will have a special present just for you. Dont tell the Po-Po Poes!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:32:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A whole new meaning to eggnog.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you think Santa's sack is so big?
IamEclipse ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:51:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You wonderful stranger you just made my day
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:24:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You sleigh me.
AMasonJar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:23:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
More like the south pole
DannyBlind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
His sack is full of stuff accumulated over a year.
NonTranquil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
sigh
unzips
kick6 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:52:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll come down your chimney, big boy...
coolkid1717 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:21:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
More like coming up the chimney. Heyo!
loljetfuel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:36:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, his kink is not my kink.
VerbableNouns ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:39:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the wrong place to be cumming if you want to make babies, unless your mum hangs out upside down in the chimney with her legs agape.
Secretly_Purple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You mean yours doesn't?
dst55y33 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:39:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa has a special sack for naughty girls and ho ho hoes.
DanieltheMani3l ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:30:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, this must explain why everyone is born in September.
eekstatic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:47:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Consolidated lying! Excellent! Did Santa give you chocolate for Easter and money for your baby teeth as well?
lucozade228 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wait, he doesn't?
cam-mcgrath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Chest and nuts roasting on an open fire
Daxx22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here cums Santa Claus, here cums Santa Claus!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Duh, what do you think Santa Baby is about?
rowaay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ho Ho Ho!
AmericanCrabApple ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 14:16:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why would anyone lie about how babies are born to a child?
I told my kids in simple terms how that works and they're like "ok cool".
Diabetic_Buffalo ยท 246 points ยท Posted at 14:37:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Same here. My mother-in-law was horrified when my 5 year old told her babies come out of vaginas. With me standing right there, she immediately tried to tell him that wasn't true and that vagina's are called "toot toots" or some shit. So, I urged my kid to continue Nana's lesson in human reproduction, and watched the old heifer nearly faint when he detailed the role of the male penis. Kids don't make a big deal out of things like some adults seem to expect. They're simply curious and find the truth as satisfying as anyone else.
Edit: To any concerned: I only answered the questions I'm asked, as vaguely and accurately as possible.
stayoffmygrass ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 14:54:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hell yes! You are right on the money. I think I have posted about this before - my mother freaked out when my son was 2 1/2 and used the word penis. Actually called me at work the next day. I asked if not penis, what should we call it? She had no suggestions, but the proper name - penis - was out. It made me think back to my childhood - I don't think we called it anything.
all_the_sex ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:12:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you could call it a cock or a dick. Somehow I don't think she'd like that either.
Daxx22 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 16:52:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Go for extra points with the inlaws, have him call it the "Pussy-Wrecker"
GAGirlChild ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:24:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome
Brave_Horatius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:16:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the kids first name though
bless_ure_harte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cervix-Puncher
bless_ure_harte ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:06:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cervix-Puncher
sideorderofsnark ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:40:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right? Any word other than penis that isn't 'vulgar' (cock, dick etc) is just keeping them from using real words in other parts of life. It actually creeps me out to hear kids say "peepee, weenie, thingy, doohickie (actually heard that one out of an 8 year old and couldn't believe it).
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:54:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah and it actually makes kids more susceptible to being sexually abused (or not being taken seriously if they are abused). From a little girl "my daddy keeps touching my kitty, I don't like it" is taken as a child being possessive over her pet, when actually she was taught that kitty is the term for vagina.
IAmBadAtPlanningAhea ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:02:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i actually like wiener. or peen. it makes me laugh.
BigDaddyDelish ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:54:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Research has been done to show that it's actually way better for children to hear the truth about child bearing rather than to be lied to about it.
Lying sets a precedent that you can't be trusted about any questions they might have regarding sensitive subjects, especially about their body. It also teaches them to be ashamed of their bodies.
Nicknames for body parts should be reserved as slang, not as education. Just tell your damn kids the truth, the only shame they will have about their bodies is what you teach them to have.
elevendytwo ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:25:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think the Atticus Finch approach works well for this situation. Like when he explains rape to Scout by saying that it is "carnal knowledge of a female by force and without consent."
SidewaysInfinity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The legal definition of things?
elevendytwo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:38:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't find the exact quote but he says that children can see right through you if you lie, but as long as you give them a real answer they will be content even if they may not fully understand it.
NoPeopleAllowed ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:45:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why purposely prevent them from understanding though? Sounds like you are advocating using a technically true version of the story that's purposely confusingly worded enough they won't understand it. Seems like the true truth, ie teaching them to understand would be best.
elevendytwo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:33:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For people that want to preserve their innocence (like in the Atticus example) I think it's a good way to go about it because once the children are old enough that it is important to explain it to them you can just expand on what you told them. The point is to satisfy their curiosity without lying.
AmericanCrabApple ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:56:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My son nicked named his penis his "ting-ting". I allow it because it's hillarious. Then he went to preschool and taught all the boys there to call it a ting-ting. I kept a straight face, but it was 1000x more hillarious then.
He knows it's also called a penis, though.
Maybe tell grandma only he can give a nickname to his genitals, not her. Until then, it's called a penis.
stayoffmygrass ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:25:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm happy to report that the 2 1/2 YO is now all grown up, and been out of law school for about three years. Last time I heard him make up a name for it, it was the "$5 foot long", a response the the Subway commercial.
But - a very well adjusted young attorney. He and his brother have never, ever had any hesitation talking about anything sexual or intimate with me. A COMPLETE difference of direction from my own parents.
Klaus_Goldfish ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:56:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Mom, it's either penis or schlong. You choose."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:54:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thingy?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:10:36 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum called it a winkle.
A vagina was a minnie.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:58:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got the facts when I was like 6 years old and wore my mother's patience down.
It didn't phase me, I just thought it was disgusting that anybody would do that.
"...Grownups think it's fun." subject dropped
Brave_Horatius ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:18:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My niece got the talk recently. Eldest of three. She was horrified her parents did that three times.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:46:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Three whole times? Disgusting, I thought my parents doing that twice was bad enough.
DapperPanda01 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:21:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My son got in trouble for saying penis at daycare. Would they rather he said cock? I'm not teaching my kid made up euphemisms for his body parts because some adults think anatomical words are dirty. It's a penis.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:24:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Although I don't think we should lie, depending on the kids age you don't have to explain everything in detail. Depending on their ages they will accept pretty simple explanations and once they grow a little they might have follow up questions.
They might first accept an answer as simple as "From mommy's tummy", and then a little later they will wonder more and want more details. You shouldn't lie, but unless they ask for it I wouldn't explain all the details... It would probably also be confusing if talk of sperm and eggs came up when they think the baby was given out at a hospital.
sideorderofsnark ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:42:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My kid is 6 and he knows that moms have a special body part called a 'uterus' that babies come from that dads don't have. All he wanted to know was "why don't dads have babies', and that answer completely satisfied him. We'll get to the rest of the science when he asks for more details.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:37:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then your 7 year old asks "exactly has does the dads DNA get to the moms egg? Like exactly".
Then a week later I get pulled aside by a friend and she explains that my daughter basically gave her daughter the sex talk when she was over. Her daughter burst into into the room yelling "do you guys really do that?!?!" at her parents. Well, at least she gave it to her straight.
InvadedByMoops ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:57:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I asked that question my mom told me sperm comes out of the penis and goes into the vagina. She thought that was clear, but the idea of insertion didn't occur to me, I just imagined dozens of ant-sized sperm cells wriggling out of a man's dick, crawling over the sheets, and up into the woman.
It was horrifying.
Bartweiss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:33:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I learned how human reproduction works at a young age when some big cloning story hit the news. All of a sudden I thought to go "wait, how does it work when you aren't cloning?" Got a simple answer, nodded, and went on with my day.
I was stunned when I found out how many other kids had parents who actively worked to keep them from finding out. It took me a few years after that to work out why adults kept treating this like a big secret.
CrabFarts ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:16:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When my niece was younger (4-ish) she went around her grandparents' house (my sister's in-laws) telling everyone, correctly, whether they had a vagina or a penis. She said the look of horror on her mother-in-law's face was priceless.
tiffibean13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have you told this story on /r/JUSTNOMIL?
Arcane_Bullet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think I will tell my 5 year olds that, unless they specifically ask for the specifics of it. I sit on the fence about the entire telling the kid and such, but if the kid is going to ask I'm not going to lie.
LEGO_Zelda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We explained to our five year old (at the time) the man fertilizes the egg in the woman. True without going into the anatomical "how". Her take away was "are there eggs in me?" No "but how?" just that. And that was that.
Lady_Generic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, toot toots! My 4.5 year old has asked/talked variants of the question twice this week. The first time caught me off guard. He said he thought babies might come out of my butt. I just said sort of. Haha. I wasn't expecting this question. The second time, he just said he thought I used magic to come out of my tummy. I was distracted with my other kiddo, so I didn't really have time to address it. He knows about penises obviously, but we've never address what girls have. He would be that kid who shout vagina all day everyday, so I need to make sure I can give him the best answer that's probably more appropriate for him. I think maybe next year he'd probably be in a better spot for a more detailed answer.
C477um04 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:59:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've never even thought of this because for me and everyone around me it was always the case that everyone was told some lie to avoid the topic until they were old enough. I actually remember comparing with the entire class in school what story we were all told. I hope I'd do as well as you if I ever become a parent.
swanyMcswan ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:31:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up on a farm so I asked at a very early age (before I started kindergarten so maybe 4 years old) and my mom explained how babies were born. I was like "oh weird" and went about my life. I had class mates who didn't know how babies were born until they were in high school. It was always such a non issue to me I never thought about it.
I can't believe that some people lie to their kids. A TL;DR of one of my top comments was a teacher told my second grade class animals only have babies once they are married after I explained to the class how animals really create babies. It fucked up a lot of people's perception for a long time.
AmericanCrabApple ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:49:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your parents are my kind of people.
It's a pretty well know psychological thing that forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest. Demystifying and making sex and where babies come from not some super secret, special thing only grownups do you let them make an informed decision about not just family planning but also when, with who and how they choose to have sex. Personally, I knew sex lead to babies but, it felt like it didn't apply to me. Only married people have babies. See what I mean? So I wish I had been better informed my entire life. I might have made many many different life choices.
DapperPanda01 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:17:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. I use age appropriate explanations (at 4 my son doesn't need a full anatomy lesson), but he knows the general gist.
bless_ure_harte ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:05:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because here in America, the old people who are easily offended and very religious believe that if you teach sex ed, that will make kids have sex. Also, sex before marriage is a sin and they'll hold everyone to that standard, even though you really should force people to things the way your religion says.
eeyore102 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When they were preschoolers, my kids got curious as to where babies came from, and I gave them a brief overview.
Then on a trip to the science museum, we were visiting an exhibit about the human body, and they had a bit about human reproduction. Seeing an educational opportunity here, I said, "Hey kids, you'd been asking where babies come from, well, here is a great explanation!"
They looked at the exhibits showing a fetus growing inside the mother's womb, and at the end there was a bit of a video where they showed a mom giving birth (vaginally) to a baby. At that point, the kids were like, "YUCK, can we go home now??"
Mission accomplished.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My daughter (8 years old) knows the general mechanics of sex and baby-making, too. She even knows what condoms and birth control pills are.
My husband and I are just very matter-of-fact about such things. Consequently, our kid is never afraid to ask us about anything. Nothing is taboo.
The other night she asked her dad (my husband) if we ever have sex. He responded, "Of course! That's how you came to be!"
Daughter: "I know you had sex once, but do you and mom still have sex?"
Husband: "Yes."
Daughter: "Really? Because I never hear you..."
AmericanCrabApple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We also have a pretty open line of communication but that would quickly prompt a talk about privacy and how sex is private, and it's not polite to ask about people having sex, let alone try to listen in on it. I don't want my kids to know anything about my sex life aside at some point we had sex to create them.
Vanetia ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:52:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's funny.
My kid came out of the bargain bin at Babies R Us. I had to dig way down to the bottom to get her because a lot of the models were broken in some way or just didn't look as good.
(Don't worry I actually did teach her the truth soon after, but with a store like Babies R Us and her asking what they sell there... come on)
BryanBULLETHEAD ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:39:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa is real damn it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:19:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
True story, I see him at the mall every December.
wtfduud ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:52:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I die I'm going to heaven and don't you dare tell me otherwise!
shame_confess_shame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking wish.
Akitador ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus is real should be lumped in with this.
LEGO_Zelda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:06:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In terms of "most common", I think Santa gets it
vinylpanx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:27:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I'm surprised its so low
Isares ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:30:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You see son, mummy was a good girl and Santa gave you to me as a present!
cayneloop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:43:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that's not sarcastic at all. go change your username, mister!
SidewaysInfinity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:30:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to read Hogfather to my kids as a bedtime story when they start asking about Santa. They probably won't get it, but it's better than telling them a magical fat guy lives up north and it gives me an excuse to get them hooked on Terry Pratchett.
RaIshtar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:55:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Excellent idea. I'm going to steal that, if you don't mind. GNU.
DapperPanda01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate the whole Santa myth and refuse to tell my son it's real, much to my in-laws displeasure. He's 4 now, knows that mommy, daddy, and family buy him Christmas presents because we love him, and thinks Santa is just a fun imaginary story that old men really like to cosplay.
shewhoshallnotbenmd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Twist: Santa was making babies with your mom https://youtu.be/G4Ab278t7qQ
ZacQuicksilver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Technically, there is a Santa Claus.
Several actually:
were just the three I could find: an Anglican Monk and at one time Mayor of North Pole, Alaska (changed his name); a New York fire sprinkler installer and part-time Santa (as the role), who changed his name to match the role; and an ex-Navy man who grew up using his middle name (Michael) because his birth name is Santa Michael Claus.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Born? I thought they were brought to you by a Stork
runtheplacered ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pro tip: Use different wrapping paper for Santa gifts than the non-Santa gifts. That's how I figured out the ruse.
Just_Trump_Things ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've never understood lying about how babies are born. What do those parents tell kids about pregnant women? I'm pretty sure that was the question that led me to knowing.
TheMadHatterOnTea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everybody knows that going Channing on the Tatum makes the babies be born...
blown-upp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:07 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mama always told me for the longest time that I "came from her tummy", so for an equally long time I thought I was born by getting pooped out of my mom.
EDIT: Then when I was a little older she told me it wasn't the same thing and that "mom's have a special thing for babies called the birth canal"
coolkid1717 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:20:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How is babby formed?
turtlemix_69 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:36:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So you still don't know?
FinalMantasyX ยท 736 points ยท Posted at 18:33:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's the same thing"
NO.
NO MOM.
A FUCKING PIECE OF BREAD AND A HOTDOG BUN ARE NOT THE SAME THING.
IF THEY WERE THE SAME THING WHY THE HELL WOULD THEY MAKE HOTDOG BUNS, MOM?
WHY THE HELL WOULD THEY MAKE HOTDOG BUNS?!
KaraWolf ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 19:04:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom insists this is true for replacing sour cream with yogurt. NO MOM. IT IS NOT.
Hseig63 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 20:54:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Greek yogurt is actually a higher in protein healthy replacement that tastes similar!
[deleted] ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 21:04:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Hseig63 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:22:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Touchรฉ
MHG73 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:12:25 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly don't eat Greek yogurt because it tastes like eating a bowl full of sour cream.
snowflake247 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What I do with plain Greek yogurt is to use it as dip and eat it with some of these bad boys. Much better than just straight up eating it in my opinion.
Scorpius94 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:23:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with you. Also a bit lighter which I find helps when my nachos are already loaded with cheese and bacon.
KaraWolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Similar is still NOT sour cream. Get out of here with that yogurt crap!
supershinythings ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:23:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. my Mom thinks you can substitute things to make them 'healthier', and they'll taste just the same. She was and remains a terrible cook. I never invited friends home for dinner as a result. Ugh. I still shudder 25 years later...
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you can substitute but it's not going to taste quite right unless you grew up with the substitution. I love my mom's cooking but if there isn't sour cream I'm NOT putting yogurt on my; Baked potato, tacos, fajitas, or crepes(which should be whip cream but she will again sub yogurt if out).
Ugh. That sucks.
ifeelnumb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only as an ingredient in a cake.
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do I want to know what kind of cake you are making?!?
daintyladyfingers ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:24:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sour cream or yogurt are pretty common in cakes. It adds moisture.
ifeelnumb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:03:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, yes you do.
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Alright fine. I do want to know cause that looks yummy. Though the frosting looks like it melted lol
ifeelnumb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:13:16 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is. I usually make them in a larger bundt pan and drip glaze over it. It's really hard to say if it's the sour cream or the extra butter that makes it so moist, but I've had to sub yogurt before and it turns out about the same. So I will agree with your mother on that one point, but I don't think I'd switch it out for anything else.
RenaKunisaki ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 21:09:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, mom, a video game from a cereal box that only plays one game with a painted-on background is not the same as a Game Boy!
dankthewank ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 20:42:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This. A thousand times this. I fucking hated having to use pieces of bread in places of buns. It's NOT the fucking same at all. I sympathize.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 23:14:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sliced bread is objectively better for hot dogs than buns.
For burgers I'll concede buns are superior, but hot dog buns are shit
dankthewank ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:17:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha we can respectfully disagree. Love your username though. Lol.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:19:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It fits, I'm irritating and impossible to get rid of
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:26:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I suffer from a condition of hiccup-burps that I've called your username. I wish I could get rid of you.
battraman ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:43:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The recipes are slightly different, but they are close enough to substitute. Heck, here in New England our hot dog buns look like folded pieces of bread.
FinalMantasyX ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 19:45:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
new england can fuck off and die
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 20:28:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
anotherawkwardadult ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:48:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn commies, that's who
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:13:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, there are other kinds of buns? What kind of buns do non-commies have?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:12:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Especially with raw-ass onions?!
Coleridge49 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Australians do, but we use flavoured snags and not that hot dog wiener bullshit. Throw some dead horse on it, cooked onions and cheese, grab a coke and you've got a regular Sunday at Bunnings.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Poor people/me
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, what the hell is that monstrosity?
MajorNoodles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:08:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That looks like a piece of bread that was sliced by someone who doesn't know how to slice bread.
jkh107 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:08:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's the same thing just a different shape!
My kids don't believe me either.
FinalMantasyX ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 20:09:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
THE TEXTURE IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT
THE CRUST IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT
THE THICKNESS IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT
DOES A HOT DOG BUN GET ALL SMUSHED ON THE ROOF OF YOUR MOUTH??? NO!
ITS NOT THE SAME MOM
jkh107 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 20:10:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not really different if you use the end piece!
Trust me.
Also we are out of grocery money until Friday and all I have is hot dogs and bread.
FinalMantasyX ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 20:31:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I HATE YOU
jkh107 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 20:46:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know, I'm a "terrible mom."
Now go to your room and think about what you just said.
FinalMantasyX ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:49:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW video of me in my room
https://youtu.be/m2w3uZTEvPE
WITH A HOT DOG BUN, NOT A SLICE OF BREAD
jkh107 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:52:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh...you just wait until your father gets home!
Project2r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it's been 10 hours now since the "father" was expected home.
Sorry you had to find out this way, he's gone, lady. He's gone.
anarchyisutopia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dad: "You know what else is different than a hot dog bun? Hunger pangs. Now go enjoy those in your room for the rest of the night you ungrateful brat."
KaesekopfNW ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:11:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll be the weird one then and say that as a kid, I looked forward to when we would run out of hot dog buns and have to use bread. I loved a hot dog in a folded piece of bread!
stillphat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
me too thanks
baconnmeggs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, me too!!
blank_white_page ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Get a can of biscuits and flatten each one. Put some cheddar cheese in then a hot dog and roll them up. Bake them at 350 for maybe 10 to 12 minutes and pull them out. My kid loves this as a once in a while treat and it wraps your whole hotdog in cheesy bready goodness
Przedrzag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're basically Australian.
skineechef ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I get the anger, and the kind of joking nature, but when money was tight as fuck, and my mom was working 2 jobs with three kids (only just starting to date the guy that soon became our father figure throughout our entire childhood and to this very day)man i was such a little fucking shit about things like that, or leftovers, big bag cerials with no toys, off brand clothes.
Sorry, mama bear.
FinalMantasyX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
maybe if mom didnt want sad kids who had shitty hot dogs she should've stopped at 1
skineechef ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats an opinion, sure.
cowpig_addict ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My husband says the "bread is the same as a bun" crap to my kids and it becomes a discussion every single time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Just eat the fucking hot dog you ungrateful little prick."
pocketpants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just like off brand hot sauces, mayo, cheese and various other condiments ARE NOT THE FUCKING SAME! I knew we were poor as shit as a kid and I would eat my food without complaint 'cause it's what we had, but don't tell me it's the same!
lollery123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
IDK why I read that in John Oliver's Voice
Computationalism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Buns are just crust
Prometheus720 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On the other hand, if you can't eat a hotdog on a piece of bread, you a spoiled little shit.
It's not the same thing, but sometimes you just gotta get it done. Source: Been poor.
taranasus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Taste-wise: they are the same bloody thing.
Operationally: you can't really have a sausage with mustard, ketchup and caramelized onion on a slice of fucking toast and remain clean afterwards can you now???
FinalMantasyX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
maybe if you're a moron
im not being fake angry now, this is legit stupid, they do not taste the same.
taranasus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So I'm a moron for not tastiing a differance... cheers...
SaintJimmy1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, struggle buns.
QuargRanger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read the last two lines in Milhouse's voice...
Rottemdy123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you okay?... do you need to talk about it?
TemptedTemplar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh boy, my mother and I went through this.
What did she do? She got her mother to send her the bread maker they bought in the 70s. Guess who "got the privilege" of making his own dog buns?
hatrickpatrick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good, young Skywalker. I can feel your anger.
Przedrzag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Meanwhile in Australia...
2manymans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used English muffins instead of hamburger rolls. I hated it when I was a kid, now I love it
credoquiaabsurdumest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Read this in Danny McBride's voice.
Epicentera ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can't believe nobody linked this which is on a tangent, but very relevant :)
13yo_kid_wew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bread > bun for hotdogs.
nothesharpest ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 16:11:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah honey, I saw you do that stupid jump off the diving board for the umpteenth time."
houseofleopold ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:49:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"yes, sweetie, I saw the part in [childrens movie] where [character] did [action]!............. the first time we watched it, 639274578 viewings ago."
ProbablyPuck ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:58:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
S: Dad watch this!
D: Uh huh. I'm watching. (doesn't move)
S: No, Dad look!
D: Yeah I see, very cool. (didn't even move eyes)
S: ...
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:54:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Umpteen minus six years later,
Kid: Mom, I need your credit card to get some baking soda!
Mom: Why?
Kid: WHEN YOU PUT IT IN WATER THE WATER BECOMES GOOD TASTING MOM.
Mom: No It Doesn't, you umpteenager. It's Just a Phase.
Kid: NO IT ISN'T MOM! YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T KNOW THE STRUGGLES OF BEING UMPTEEN.
KrishaCZ ยท 111 points ยท Posted at 16:26:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
When my sister and I didn't want to eat zucchini, my mom said "I've read and interview with Jackie Chan and he said he eats zucchini to stay strong."
We were crazily into Jackie Chan back then. Of course there's no such interview.
Edit: clarification.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:32:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god. My mom used to do that. With everyone we ever idolized.
KingdomOfFawg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:57:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandfather was a bomber pilot in WWII. My dad told me that his bombardier ate cauliflower all the time to improve his vision. When I was a kid, I ate the shit out of cauliflower. I still do. Excellent vision. I use this little lie on my daughter.
SheeEttin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:50:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would Google it to find Jackie Chan talking about zucchini, but I suspect the top result would be your comment.
Switzerland87 ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 19:02:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
While sneaking the good snacks
"Mommy, what are you eating? I want some!"
"It's really spicy, you wouldn't like it."
Redheadbabygirl86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This would make my kid want it more!!!!
albeaner ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:09:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a mom, this is definitely at the top of my list.
Switzerland87 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:27:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once I actually bought cayenne dark chocolate, which is awesome, and let them have a tiny taste. There are never any questions about the veracity of my statements on spiciness anymore.
Hyp3rwolfies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:53 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I didn't know that vanilla ice cream was spicy"
Project2r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like your mom is the opposite of a lot of other moms on this thread.
bsnyc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:40 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know a mom who did this with her kids when they were smaller. Coca-Cola was "spicy." The kids were pretty annoyed when they finally got a taste.
KingPellinore ยท 142 points ยท Posted at 16:30:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Good girls don't like sex."
CanadianJogger ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 16:32:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What kinda screwy society do you live in?
washheightsboy3 ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 16:44:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One with a declining population.
RadSpaceWizard ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:03:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, from what I understand of bible belt christians, they think sex is evil, non-virgins are like chewed gum, and you'll go to hell if you don't shit out as many babies as humanly possible.
stingray20201 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember Bible Belt sex Ed. Can confirm, anus= birthing canal
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:52:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Burn
Goaty_McGoatface ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:37:25 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Japan?
KingPellinore ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 16:45:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Bible Belt.
tashasaladd ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:30:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can confirm it is like this in the Bible Belt
stillphat ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:38:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
awwwwe ye. mo bad girls for me. later nerds
Ace_Cat ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:59:53 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was confused when my mom actually told me that sex was actually pretty fun. I had been in an abusive relationship and thought it was supposed to feel weird/bad.
Johnnyhiveisalive ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:01:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So I married a great girl!
RadSpaceWizard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:06:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's too bad. Maybe you should find an instructional video or something.
kjacka19 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:14:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"They love it."
Ubername_ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:17:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're telling me good girls like sex ๐ง crawls back to ex
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:41:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait! A parent actually said that???!? That's way fucked up, man.
Scorpius94 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:25:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They love it
FuzzyWu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a lie if you believe it.
Pa5trick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No that's wrong. Good girls LOVE sex, they just don't do it with guys that aren't me.
Source: unrealistic expectations.
AFakeman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good girls only have sex with nice guys.
RadSpaceWizard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:07:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry, but that's a really fucked up and evil thing to say to a kid.
KingPellinore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:16:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to Christianity!
kjacka19 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"They love it."
AwesomeREDEMPTION ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sweety that's just not true
KingPellinore ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:50:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. That would make it a lie.
Icon_Crash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, keep having sex that you don't enjoy to prove that you're good.
FingerMilk ยท 630 points ยท Posted at 14:05:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you eat your carrots, you can see in the dark.
If you keep making that face, the wind will change and your face will stay that way.
Your father will come back, I promise.
Ignore the bullies, they will leave you alone.
I love you and your brother equally.
I love you.
[deleted] ยท 216 points ยท Posted at 15:28:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Ignore the bullies, they will leave you alone."
Learnt that one the hard way. That lie damaged me a fuck load. Lucky I learnt that it was a lie and challenged this belief by grabbing my bullies hand and threatening to break it in primary school. He bullied me for 4 years, and I kept "ignoring it" hoping he would stop, finally I snapped and did the whole hand thing, and suddenly he stopped bullying me. IF I ever have kids I WON'T tell them to ignore bullies. I'll tell them "Don't let people fuck with you"
NonaSuomi282 ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 16:52:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, "ignore bullies" will never be a life lesson I pass on, it will be "make sure the adults know about it, and if the adults don't do anything about it you talk to me, and if the adults still don't do anything about it after I talk to them, you pop that bastard in the nose and I'll take you for ice cream."
NotThisFucker ยท 128 points ยท Posted at 16:57:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Actually, I'm not that patient. Let's shoot an email to the parents and administration, beat the shit out of the kid, and get ice cream. Actually, forget all that, we're going for ice cream."
"Dad, you can't just keep getting ice cream all the time. Sometimes you have to help me with my problems."
"Son, right now our biggest problem is the lack of ice cream. Get in the car. If we see your bully on the way we can bump him."
NonaSuomi282 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 16:59:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Get in the car, Loser- we're going icecreaming.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:43:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother was being bullied badly in Elementary school and my parents told him exactly this. Funny thing, he never had to hit anyone. They all stopped bullying hi. Shortly after. I think just the fact that my parents empowered him to stand up for himself gave him a confident aura that the other kids picked up on. Bullies pick on kids they view as weak. The second you look like you're not gonna take it anymore, it's over.
The_professor053 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is your dad Rick?
bad_at_hearthstone ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:00:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My son, who is six, was in the ball pit with his sister and two of their friends. A bully, who is ten, tried to push his sister.
My boy did a Judo throw and tossed the bully on his face. "NOT ON MY WATCH!" he shouted.
It probably would have gone the other way after that if there hadn't been adults around, but it makes me feel really happy that my son won't be the pushover I've been all my life.
baconaro ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 15:59:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
eshansingh ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:48:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking bit the dude. Like a doug. He's not gonna touch me anymore, I'll tell you that. 150% more effective than "ignoring".
NotThisFucker ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:54:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamnit Doug, this shit isn't Funny.
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 16:49:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One kid bullied me all the way through sixth grade. It was only verbal, but it was hell. One day in the hallway when nobody else was around, he decided to try to beat me up. Up until this point, I had never retaliated.
Unfortunately for him, when I get pushed past my breaking point, I go all-out. I grabbed him by his collar, slammed him against the wall (he was wearing a backpack, so not that big of a deal), said something along the lines of "fuck off", then pushed him down the staircase that was next to us. He wasn't injured (thank god) and he ran away. Never got shit from him again.
navarone21 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:55:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A kid at my little sisters school a few years ago landed a single solid punch on his bully and killed the fucking guy. Hit his head wrong on the way down.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:00:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in sixth grade, I wasn't aware how easy it is to permanently injure someone. I'm glad he didn't suffer the same fate as the kid from your sister's school. I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if I was responsible for someone's death.
Then again, that same kid I mentioned raped someone when he was in high-school. Maybe it would have been better if he had died.
navarone21 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:24:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All the fights and scuffles that I got into in school, it never once crossed my mind that someone could actually die, muchless get seriously hurt. Hell, back then, serious trouble was not even on the table. Now lawsuits and police get involved when kids fight... and that is crazy to me.
Dicecard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:56:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ONE PUUUUUUUUNCH!
Daxx22 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:55:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
High five, Ender.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:02:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get the reference.
Daxx22 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:17:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ender Wiggin is a fictional character from Orson Scott Card's 1985 science fiction novel Ender's Game and its sequels.
He had a general philosophy of "ending" conflicts in such as way as they would never occur again.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:29:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Much appreciated, thank you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:05:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was so funny how much of a sore loser OSC was when gay marriage passed and there was a big movement to boycott the Ender's Game movie. I guess it's only okay to stand up to bullies when they aren't him.
stygyan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:14:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, no, you're mistaken about the FUNNY part.
The funny part is where OSC, a known homophobe, describes every kid from the eyes of Ender as being GORGEOUS STATUES OF GREEK GODS, HANDSOME, ATTRACTIVE AND BEAUTIFUL.
The even funnier part is where OSC, a known bastard without any kind of empathy toward LGBT people, writes one of the most beautiful books about empathy EVER, Speaker for the dead.
I still think OSC loves cock and is knee deep in denial.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:27:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If true, then it's more sad than funny.
stygyan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:04:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
As far as I can see, it's true. I use funny instead of sad because I prefer to laugh than to cry.
I did read again Ender's game recently, just because. When I was a kid, the description Ender made of other kids struck me as a lil weird for a six year old kid. Knowing OSC is an homophobe, it strikes you even harder. Let me see.
First, the description of Bonzo Madrid.
Peter, as seen by grown-ups
I have those two paragraphs highlighted in my Kindle copy of the book. Because they seem surreal to me, knowing about Orson Scott Card stance not on gay marriage, but on gay people.
Now, Speaker for the dead. In it, an Ender Wiggin already grown-up is sick of hearing people treat him as a xenocide and decides to write a book about his life explaining in third-person why did he do what he did do. And starts a religion on the way, based on investigating dead people so someone can speak for them at their funeral, with full knowledge of what they did, why they did it, and what circumstances surrounded their life.
What I took from this book when I read it has definitely marked my life, because it taught me that no one is an island, and no matter how much of a bastard you are it's because the world shaped you that way. Basic empathy, you see - if you mistreat your wife, is because you've been taught to do so by society, your father or your grandpa - etcetera.
This empathy has brought me no small problems, because I always tend to put myself in the other person's shoes, and thus I even justified the way my exbf treated me when we were together. And so on.
How can someone teach empathy in such a profound and deep way, and then start spewing hate? What kind of ordeal has Orson Scott Card had to go through?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:12:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have a point there, sir. I remember those descriptions as well, actually. There's also a scene where they fight naked in the shower, and some other homoerotic nudity stuff isn't there?
stygyan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, and a thought just hit me. When I read the book as a kid I didn't get it because I read the translation to Spanish - only recently got an English copy.
The enemies to destroy, the ones Ender annihilates almost completely only to be regretful about it later are called buggers. A derogatory term for homosexual males.
It's all full of subtext, isn't it?
PS: Bonzo is NOT a Spanish name. Nor is Bonito, which is a kind of fish (bluefin tuna or mackerel, I think) as a name or Cute as an adjective.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm, it's almost too obvious.
Just_Trump_Things ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He killed his bully, while Bean outwitted his murderous psychopath. #Bean4General
frossenkjerte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Bean?
Just_Trump_Things ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:45:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:10:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
kaeroku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most of us know him by the book; the movie was a travesty.
shadus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, no... my experience with bullies in the gym was more ender wiggan style... had the coach not been in the room then, I'd have killed him, I was blacked out and running on rage. The basket ball smacked me in the head, the snickers and laughing told me it wasn't an accident, and I asked who threw it. Everyone pointed at one dude, he shrugged and smiled about it. I'd had enough and snapped... I blacked out about this point, I was told later that I body slammed him shoulder first into the gym floor and beat his head off the floor till the coach put me in a head-lock and dragged me off... and even then I'd wrapped my legs around him and punched him in the head a few more times. I beat him unconscious. Fortunately-- that was prior to columbine or I'd likely have a felony conviction of some kind... yay 90s. I could have avoided all of that bullshit had I not had stupid ideas of pacifism for many years and just dusted the first people who touched me instead of trying to talk it out.
To quote one of Heinlein's books- โViolence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor.โ I've often wondered if Heinlein wasn't bullied actually, because that is certainly the lesson you learn if you're bullied and want to end it.
The only lesson people who bully understand is naked force. Beat the hell out of them and it will end it. If you do it well enough, no one will be willing to pick a fight with you.
When I changed schools, day one someone tripped me in the hall (some meathead jock who was the cousin of one of the bullies at my original school) and I cleaned him off the bench with my book back and kept punching until I was dragged off. That was beginning of my junior year and I was never in another fight.
Incidentally my mother had taught me, "Discussion and talking it out are far better solutions than violence." She was wrong in that particular case. Lesson I've tried to teach my kids is, "Never start a fight, but never take anyone's shit, someone hits you-- make them regret it."
Anyways shutting up now, rambling. This particular subject still fucks with me even 20 years later.
timeywimey207 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:23:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a guy bully me from 1st grade until high-school, I just tried to ignore him. Well my senior year I was done, so I used my intelligence to ruin him. I told three of my teachers the whole situation and my plan, they agreed. I let him cheat off of me in class, he maintained the same average I had, until the end of the year when those three teachers would expose his cheating. That was phase one. Phase two I had my best friend start dating him, and the day after the cheating scandal was exposed she dumps him. Phase three I happen to be around when he's pissed off and emotional so he tries to take out his frustration on me, I had been waiting, right as he shoves me against the wall I whistled and one of the deans walks around the corner. He know has a felony record, and can't get a decent job because the college he had a scholarship at dropped him, and he knows I'm responsible for his doom.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:35:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit... This one belongs on /r/prorevenge
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:58:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
or /r/thathappened
timeywimey207 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:34:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I call him Biff when I see him now.
Jesus-slaves ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:00:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
$100%
SunsetLine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't believe any of this happened.......
eleventytwelv ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:22:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely bullshit. It's not even good fiction.
Daxx22 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:54:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer the philosophy of "Never start a fight, but end one."
DapperPanda01 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:13:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fortunately, my grandfather told me the truth on that one, "Don't ever start a fight, but if someone brings one to you, take that bitch out. Then they'll learn."
AcresWild ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:53:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats why Ill always thank Dad for giving me permission to retaliate bullies with violence. First time I got in trouble for it he high fived me.
Dad's unspoken thoughts: "My son ain't no Bitch!"
sniff Thanks Dad
ManicLord ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:19:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmother was more of the "just beat them up and they'll leave you alone" persuasion. Got me into trouble in every new school, but it worked every time the idiots would try to "pick on the new kid (me)".
AussieEquiv ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:54:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It took me 10 years to stand up. Despite dad telling me I needed too (while mum said to ignore it.) Last 2 years of schooling was much better.
Got in trouble from the school for doing so, dad took me out to the movies as a reward.
coldlikedeath ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:17:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That lie ruined me.
nuker1110 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:26:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Senior year, some little 120lb turd decided to pick a fight with me, 6'0" 235lbs, over my religious affiliation, with half the school cheering him on. He blindsided me in the lunchroom, knocked my glasses across the room. Took another 2 swings as I was getting up. At that point "self defense" overruled "zero tolerance" in the school's rule book. I put him in the hospital with a cracked skull and a broken arm.
Vamp459 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother and I were bullied a lot when we were little. Our mom taught us how to kick their asses. Literally, I was about 6 and I knew how to use someone's weight against them to get them off of me.
RequiemAA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"There are 27 bones in the human hand. Wanna try for 54?"
Vanetia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think my dad's advice was pretty solid on this: Never throw the first punch. Just throw the last one.
anormalgeek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You shouldn't ignore them. If it's minor name calling and shit, you should pretend their shit doesn't bother you. Better yet laugh at them, and mock them back. It may escalate. Sometimes that shit us unavoidable. But if it does, they're likely to leave you along afterwards.
wooptyfrickindoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
That was my dads style of parenting. He grew up in a rough neighborhood and his mom made him go back outside and defend himself instead of hiding and crying when kids were taunting him, he did and he wasn't bothered by them again. When I started being bullied and threatened in school he taught me how to punch etc. and to defend myself if I had to. That's how I would raise my kids if I had any too. It seems though nowadays schools punish the victims for fighting back if they get hit and they can even go to juvi for it which I think is insane.
Jesus-slaves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right! "Ignore them and they'll go away." Nope, we're talking about humans, not a stray dogs. My
parentsmom always told me to ignore the bully and tell the teacher. I quickly learned those two things made it worse.After months of some intense verbal and some mild physical bullying in the 8th grade, a girl squirted mustard on my purse. I wiped it off, said nothing, and followed her into the bathroom a little later. We had a "chat." She never messed with me or my best friend again.
alwaystacobell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i just got my tubes tied last week. part of the reason was bullies. i got bullied all the time as a kid. i'd say something to teachers, my principal, my parents, my friend's parents, my friends, really anyone that would listen. and nothing ever happened. "just ignore them", "they're bothering you, because they know it makes you mad", "if you just stop letting it get to you, they'll get bored"
finally i snapped. i had enough and threw a chair across my classroom, threatened to scalp one of my 6th grade classmates who'd just gotten her hair highlighted, and left the school to walk home.
i don't even remember what happened after that. i've blocked out a lot of that shit. i never want to have kids, because mine would be the first ones to beat some heads in if they get bullied.
mudra311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad is a very nice man and very non-confrontational. He definitely sticks up for himself and our family if needed, but otherwise he uses words instead of fists.
When I would complain about bullies, he would always say, "You will have to deal with bullies for the rest of your life. There's no point in complaining about it. Figure it out."
It didn't strike me as dismissal; it was more: I can't fight your fights for you forever, you need to learn how to deal with this now instead of in your 20s.
Maybe its because I'm taller and well-built, but I haven't really had a problem with bullies after high school.
Nofgob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was told to avoid fighting if possible, but don't let anyone bully me. If a fight was going to happen then make sure I won. I'm a pretty laid back person so avoiding fighting was pretty easy for me since I never gave anyone a reason to fight me.
The only time I ever got close to attacking someone was in high school weights. I was at the bottom of a squat when a kid a few grades above me slapped me on the ass with a weight belt. I shot up pretty quick, ripped the belt out of his hands and gave him some crazy eyes while telling him the next time I was going to beat him with it. Never messed with me again. I think the crazy eyes is what did it, because I wasn't exactly a large person at the time.
mongster_03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I may or may not have fucked one up because "ignore them" didn't work.
SunsetLine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why the fuck do mothers think that's good advice. I don't understand the thought process.
1drlndDormie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ignore the bullies went hand in hand with 'They only tease you because they're jealous.'
PM_ME_LIZARDS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents tried the ignore shit for a while, until one day my step father turned round and said "fuck it, you're 9, primary school doesn't mean shit, just clock (bully) one" so next time they fucked with me, I did. Damn worth it, iirc everyone involved had a talking to but nothing came out of it, just a "don't fight again." bullying still happened a bit but was easier to deal with
The ignoring shit hardly ever works, should've just clocked them at the start
wtfduud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What hand thing?
Caymanmew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a former bully in Elementary school and "victim" (the bullies failed) in high school i'd say most people don't seem to be able to ignore the bullies. Not saying anything back does not mean you stopping them form getting what they want.
A bully will not bully someone who is not reacting negatively to the bullying. If you sit quietly upset the bully got a reaction which is all they want. What i did in high school was simple, effective and reduced bullying on me by around 90% within a week of grade 9.
I agreed with everything they said (and i did it without appearing even a little bit upset) and never let them have the victory they want.
Bully: "Caymanmew your stupid" Me: "Yep nothing i can do about that"
Bully: "Caymanmew i Can beat you up" Me: "No shit i am weak as fuck"
Responses like that basically stopped all bullying on me instantly as they bullies did not get what they wanted so there was no point in them doing it to me anymore.
Violent outburst might scare a bully off but most people can't do that and honestly it is a horrible life lesson to encourage kids to resort to violence.
Rage_Engage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
what is the "whole hand thing"
fuzzipoo ยท 418 points ยท Posted at 14:15:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You need a hug, dude?
salvador74 ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 15:40:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
who doesn't?
dankem ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:44:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aww
Iamthesailorman ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:55:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or like....10?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A half hour one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
10 half hour ones.
ThatOneGuyReddit ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 17:16:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now kith
jm419 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:47:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact; this is leftover British propaganda from WWII where they said their fighter pilots ate carrots to see better at night - in reality, they were using radar.
hchighfield ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:54:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I really hope one of the companies who built the radar systems was named carrot radar
159258357456 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:05:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In case this is confusing, the British didn't want the Germans to know they had a great radar system. So when the British stated to track German planes so well, they had to make an excuse.
Zywakem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm trying to remember something from QI here, isn't it that carrots actually do help you see in the dark? In a roundabout way?
icos211 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:40:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean technically night blindness is caused by a lack of vitamin A, which you can get from carrots, so...
allothernamestaken ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:01:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well that turned dark pretty quickly.
Daxx22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like watching a sunset.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No enough carrots dood
fuckyourstuff ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:50:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Moms say that?
Akimanki ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:51:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
only when drunk
source: me
locks_are_paranoid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:03:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
THIS SO MUCH!!! It wasn't just my parents, it was the entire school system refusing to do anything and acting like it was my fault for not ignoring it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:17:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have intense anger at my mum right now for telling me that, and anyone else who told me that. FUCK YOU DICKHEADS YOU ALMOST KILLED ME.
locks_are_paranoid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:23:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I agree 100%. I say that schools should take accusations of bullying as seriously as they take accusations of sexual assault.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:38:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think not just bullying but the whole telling me I "should ignore it" that is what kills me I think. Not standing up for myself and absorbing what bullies do is what kills me. Bullies alone aren't that bad as long as I can fight them back.
locks_are_paranoid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:49:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're right 100%. Schools need to either punish the bullies, or let kids fight back. Telling kids to ignore it is just them refusing to do anything. When I was in middle school and high school, everyone who I talked to told me that it would go away if I ignored it. They even acted like it was my fault because I would scream at the bullies. But I was only screaming at them when they were already bullying me. It was a natural reaction which I could not control.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:54:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh man I feel for you. I think it's one of the most posionous lies ever and it actually has affected my life. I'm extrmely grateful I fought back on some occasions. That probably saved me from being a depressed victim for my whole life. Other occasions I didn't though unfortunately and now I deal with this shit in therapy. Seriously mums who tell their kids "ignore it honey, they'll get bored and go away" I fantasise punching them in the face, and telling them "YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT DON'T SAY THAT TO YOUR KID"
locks_are_paranoid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never fought back, and I was severely depressed for a long time. I always wanted to punch them in the face, but I never did. It took every ounce of my willpower to prevent myself from fighting back.
Xandralis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately they take sexual assualt about as seriously. At least in my school. Nobody wants to admit that something bad happened.
0OOOOOO0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was actually misinformation intentionally spread during WWII to hide the existence of RADAR.
IPIhantom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lack of vitamin a leads to night blindness, so the first one isn't a lie
totomaya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, at least your mom bothered to lie. My mom couldn't even PRETEND to love me or my brother. Never said I love you, no affection. Apparently it was too difficult for her to even lie. I'm okay about it now though.
CRISPR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That actually works to some extent.
Jorumvar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/unexpectedfeels
coolkid1717 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The beta carotene in carrots actually has less to do with low light vision than previously thought.
Fatburger3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually ignoring the bullies 100% works. Used to get picked on a lot in middle school, in high school/college I stopped giving a fuck. It's very rewarding because you quickly realize that people were only making fun of you for attention, and when you don't give them the attention they want they end up just looking foolish.
FlatTyres ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Rather embarrassingly, I believed this until I was 14.
I_Stabbed_Jon_Snow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yo that carrot thing is kinda legit, I ate an abnormal amount of carrots growing up and my night vision lets me screw with most other people in the dark. I still like carrots too, but only raw.
Edit: pretty sure I replied to the wrong comment. Carrots don't stop fat fingers.
malyse0822 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You okay?
CrazyCoKids ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually tbf, the carrot one is not entirely untrue.
It will help you see better in the dark but not perfect night vision.
Pm_ur_cans_2me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I believe carrots actually do help you see in the dark (though a negligible amount)
Wannabkate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was made up as a cover story by the british during ww2 to keep the existence of radar to explain why they were shooting down so many german plane.
CIearMind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Silly mom, everyone knows you have to eat golden carrots in awkward potions to see in the dark.
Thrawn4191 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thankfully the bully thing was not something my parents ever told me but I had a lot of friends who's parents did. Granted their parents were right, the bullies did leave my friends alone, but only because I beat the hell out of them.
Narwhalbaconguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:(
Analyidiot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I ignored bullies my whole life. Then I left highschool and started working and I'd get "bullied" at work. Then I realized that some people regardless of age are just fucking assholes
rillius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Ignore the bullies, they will leave you alone."
I believed that lie for a long time too. One day after a horrendous day being hassled by bullies, my dad told me how to handle it. First try to ignore it and if that doesn't work, tell them to knock it off. Give them 3 chances and if continues, fight back. He also said if the school punished me, that was OK because I wouldn't be punished at home.
There were many who bullied me, but this one kid in particular constantly tormented me and had for three years. I did what my dad said and after the third time telling him to knock it off, I swung at him and knocked him down. Of course, I got sent to the principal who just chewed me out and called my parents, and we were both told to steer clear of each other.
There were a lot of kids who picked on me and believe it or not, most of them stopped after I fought back against the one. My mother wasn't happy but my dad just happened to suggest the family going out to eat that night for Mexican food, which was my favorite at the time. I still got bullied by the other kids from time to time, but if I stood up, they backed down. However, the kid I hit, he didn't stop. He backed off for a week or so, then he started up again, but he only did it when he and his jock buddies were together. I took him on again and all 4 of them roughed me up pretty good.
I ended up transferring to another school after that and luckily, I wasn't bullied at my new school. However, the bully I fought somehow found out where I was and tried to get me thrown out of my new school by spray painting the building. He was caught in the act by the police and arrested and tried saying I paid him to do it, but then he backed down and told the truth saying he was trying to help me because I'd never learn to do the right things(i.e. play sports, go to dances, not be in the math and science clubs, not to go college) if I wasn't picked on. He ended up getting probation with a strict curfew.
I ended up quitting school and getting my GED at 16 and going to community college and after getting my associate degree, I went on to a university and got a bachelors, served in the military, and have for the most part(other than my divorce), a good life.
arcanascu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It depends. If the bully can see that it's bothering you and you're not acknowledging them then you look weak. If you don't let it seem like it bothers you then they will leave you alone because they're looking for a reaction, and they'll find someone easier. But yeah if that's not working for you try another tact obviously.
RecycledEternity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The first one: myth propagated by the British during WWII. Continued to be in widespread use (along with "spinach makes you strong because it's full of iron") until the rise of the internet put them down like a raccoon with rabies.
Second one: I think that was a stroke myth? Eh. I got told that one too. Fear propaganda!
Third one: considering my dad was on submarines most of the time he was gone, and pretty much 100% of the time he came back, I believed this one with ease.
Fourth: HAHAHAHAHA no they fucking didn't. Kicker? I couldn't fight back, otherwise I'd get in trouble for fighting (even though they pushed/punched/threw something at me first). Telling another adult (teacher, nurse, principal, parent, whoever) wouldn't help, either, because then the rest of the kids would see you as a snitch and ostracize you as a result.
Fifth? I knew who each of my mothers favored more; neither were me.
Six: ...ouch. I would never want to think this was a lie, but... eesh. That would hurt.
kaeroku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have shared this with others, but never on reddit as far as I recall.
In high school I was pretty quiet, kept to myself, enjoyed reading and long conversations of a philosophical nature. I didn't attract much unwanted attention, but there was this one class...
Every single day these loud, obnoxious fucks would be throwing things and saying stupid things about other people around them, making the entire class feel like shit. Teacher would do nothing, for whatever reason. I politely asked them to stop on multiple occasions, resulting only in more focused ridicule. I approached the teacher on multiple occasions, mentioning the problem and requesting assistance; no dice. I then went to a guidance counselor explaining the issue and was told to tell the teacher, I explained that I had, and that nothing was being done about it. I was told they would have a "conversation." I told her I expected the school to do something about it, because the school insisted that we not take such matters into our own hands and the only way that works is if they provide proper recourse.
A few weeks after that, I was walking with a girl who liked me to the bus to go home. I was not particularly interested in this girl, but she was nice enough and I had no reason to hurt her feelings. The asshats saw us and started calling her things like a "slut" and making rude gestures. I told them to stop, and was laughed at. I told the girl to quickly head home, and apologized briefly for having to deal with this, explaining that it was me they didn't like. She scurried off.
I then went up to the one who was generally the most abusive in the group and got in his face and spoke very quietly, putting force behind the soft words: "Tomorrow, you are going to go and find her and publicly apologize for saying those things to her." Reply was something along the lines of I have nothing to apologize for, you're just a couple of freaks, whatever. I said, "I wasn't finished. You're also going to keep your mouth fucking shut unless someone speaks to you when you're around me, or I will close it for you."
His friends all around him, he asks what I'm going to do, and continues throwing insults and general asshattery my way. I repeat, "Shut your mouth, or I'm going to hit you." He asks if I know who he is, and just continues trying to put me down.
So I punch him, right in the nose. At this point the dude is still saying crap, so I punch him again, jarring him. He seems to realize, finally, that he's getting hit, and his shoulders hunch up and he takes an aggressive stance, and I punch him three more times in the chest and stomach. He gets one shot in at my shoulder, and I see him off balance and take his legs out from under him, he falls against a trash can and starts crawling away. I pull my leg back for a kick, and see him cringe, putting his hands up to cover his face. I'm enraged, but I don't want to kill this guy, and he's just submitted. So I stop.
I tell him to cut the shit out, and walk away. The first bus is just pulling in, and apparently saw the tail end. As I'm walking calmly away, security guards are charging down the aisles between the main building and the bus routes, and take me and the kid in hand. We end up in front of our respective counselors.
I explain exactly what happened, including me landing the first blow and threatening physical violence in return for the verbal assault, and that this was the same group I've been complaining to the school about for literal months. I tell my counselor I'm disappointed in her inability to prevent this from happening, and that I considered it directly her failure and the teacher's failure that I was forced to respond the way I did. She - extremely surprisingly - agreed with me.
We were then both pulled in front of the Vice Principal, where he said a few things that I'm sure were meant to make us consider the gravity of our actions. The bully was crying the whole time, and I was just kind of blank. It was then that I found out that the bully had, as the VP put it, "mysteriously forgotten" everything that had happened and not said a word when they spoke to him. On account of my counselor explaining the situation leading up to it, I received about a week of suspension - which was a nice vacation, tbh. The bully got 3 weeks, and was on some kind of academic probation going forward. And he barely landed a hit.
Never heard from that dude again; I'm pretty sure another condition that was given to him was "DO NOT be anywhere near /u/kaeroku again," although that was never indicated to me. Pretty proud of that. I don't take disrespect of others well, even if I can endure a lot myself.
TL;DR: Bully got beat into a trash can and nearly expelled, I got a week vacation, and bully disappeared from my life.
canIpleasehavepizza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the carrots thing wasnt a lie
Prometheus720 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of advice is, I think, originally meant in a certain way but becomes bastardized over time.
You SHOULD leave bullies alone. WHEN they aren't actively bullying you at the time. I've never met a kid who hasn't been bullied and bullied others. When the kid doesn't know how to shut off that fight or flight mode, they go on hating these bullies and antagonizing them and things escalate forever, sometimes for years.
So yes, in the moment, stand up to them. But don't spend your day thinking about them or hating them or paying them any mind when they are not actually bothering you.
ifeelnumb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a post-war myth for the generations.
Project2r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn.....
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 15:31:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
username does not check out
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
sniff sniff
cookingismything ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 14:40:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll think about it". My kid already knows what that means
AFakeman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:14:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason, I now always take "I need to think about it" as a definitive no from anyone.
cookingismything ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:37:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
95% of the times it does mean no for me. The other 5% means "I don't want to discuss this now"
marpocky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:30:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, just say no if you mean no.
cookingismything ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:09:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well often I say this when my daughter has asked for something in front of others that perhaps I do not wish to talk about with an audience. Mostly I don't feel like dealing with the 509 questions surrounding my no.
0OKM9IJN8UHB7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe I had to scroll for this.
VaguelyHonest ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 15:31:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Child: Can we leave soon?
Mother: Yes.
anonmymouse ยท 299 points ยท Posted at 16:32:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone is commenting about lies mothers tell their kids, but what about the lies mothers tell to other mothers?
For some reason moms all act like being a mom is so easy (especially when you have your first baby) Now, maybe I just had a more difficult baby, but I hated motherhood for the first year. All my friends who had kids just talked about how fucking perfect their babies were, so I just smiled and acted like everything was peachy too.. until ONE person decided to be honest about the shitty time she was having, and I told her I was having a shitty time too. And she just cried with relief, and said "oh my god, I thought it was just me!". Like no.. it's not just you.. we're all sleep deprived and tired of listening to crying and having a shitty time, but EVERYONE LIES ABOUT IT! Why do we have to lie and say how great it is when in reality, babies are awful. Like 10% of the time they're quiet, and sweet, and smiling and snuggly and adorable. The other 90% they're screaming at you, and waking you up, and throwing up on you.
If you're having a shitty time and it seems like everyone else but you has the worlds most perfect baby - don't worry, they're just lying.
NotACanadaGoose ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 19:04:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They might not be lying, but they might have an army of support. My neighbour and I had babies at the same time. All their family lived in our general vicinity. All mine lived across the continent. Her first few months with her newborn weren't bad at all, because she didn't have to cook more than a handful of meals, she had volunteers to feed the baby a bottle if she wanted to shower or get groceries, if she didn't want to get groceries she had someone who could, she had relatives who would just take her older kid for nights at a time so that he still felt loved but she had a break.
It was hard not to be jealous, especially when she was all, "this second kid thing isn't hard at all? Why are you having such a rough go at it?"
anonmymouse ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:45:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
First of all, how dare she say that to you.
I'm a single mom now and even though I was married at the time I had my daughter, I still felt like a single mom at the time too, because despite the fact that she woke up 4+ times a night, my ex-sleeper-husband either never once heard her, or just pretended he didn't. I can count on one hand the number of times he actually got up and helped out. My mom tried to help but she ended up making things worse because she was just one of those "blissful moms" who just loved having babies and kept saying things to me like "isn't it just so great to be a mom?" and "aren't babies just a wonderful blessings?" uhh.. no, actually, I don't feel very blessed right now. So I isolated myself from her, and the other "blissful moms" quite a bit and I think I had a pretty bad case of untreated PPD as well which I didn't even realize until after it was over. All in all it was a miserable experience, but I was like you and mostly alone through it and maybe you're right, maybe that's the difference.
NotACanadaGoose ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:55:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She didn't mean it in a malicious way. She is a very sweet person who was just very sheltered at that point.
My SO works away a lot, and at that time when our second was born he was called out to do a bunch of ship work so he was gone for weeks at a time. He actually left when our son was 7 days old - something he can't remember (he had the audacity to ask me if I was sure it was that soon after having the baby), so when I was up with one of my kids in the wee hours of the morning all alone, it was hard to see lights on at my neighbour's and see her mom or aunt rocking their baby. It sucked so bad.
I didn't mind the baby phase of my own kids, but I can't stand other people's babies. And now that my son is leaving the baby years behind him, I'm starting to get a bit excited for the future. We were out and about yesterday and he held my hand and listened while we were in public. I've been super sad about not having a third baby, but little things like this just remind me how awesome bigger kids are compared to babies.
Salty_Sea07 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:53 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right. My husband often compared me to other moms that have help, who don't seem overwhelmed. But I don't have any help.
We_renotonmyisland ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 19:14:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The more kids I had (I have four) the less I bullshitted about everything. It's hard, and exhausting - physically, emotionally, and mentally.
I will say this though, my threshold for panic and stress has increased. Kid crying from the other room? They'll come find me if it's bad enough. Two kids bickering? Time to hone your conflict resolution skills kids. I've already given you the tools. Want to dig up worms in the backyard? Here's a shovel.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:35:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Question: I don't mean to be rude, but why did you have 4 kids? Isn't raising a bunch of kids super tiring?
We_renotonmyisland ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:18:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would say the first was the hardest because you don't know anything. After that the third is because you move to zone coverage. The fourth didn't really add much difficulty. We wanted a big(ish) family. We both came from fairly big families (including extended) and enjoyed the atmosphere of our upbringing.
My kids are all about two years apart and there are times that are frustrating. 3 year old hollering for you to come wipe his butt, while the 6 and 8 year olds are arguing over whose turn it was to pick a show to watch, the 10 year old needs homework help, and you're in the middle of cooking dinner. But it's not always chaos, and I enjoy having a unique relationship with all four and discovering their individual personalities while watching them experience the world.
jseego ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 19:26:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Part of the problem is that some babies are awesome and some babies are shit. That's just the way it is.
Our first baby slept the night at 6 weeks. We could take him out to a nice restaurant before he was a year old - he was just a "good baby" - potty trained himself early on, learned sign language right away, could entertain himself if needed, just a smiley, happy guy.
We actually met other parents at gatherings who would stop talking to us and walk away when we answered their questions about how it was going for us.
We just assumed we were awesome parents and we'd made this awesome baby. Natch.
Then we had number two. Holy shit. Poor kid had gastric issues, ear infections, thrush, viruses. Didn't sleep at night for a whole year. Cried REALLY LOUDLY ALL THE TIME.
And yeah...we hated it.
anonmymouse ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:39:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine also had digestive issues big time, wouldn't breastfeed, had to be on special (super expensive) formula, didn't sleep through the night once in the first year.
I have heard that not all babies are like that but I'm not willing to take the chance again. She will be an only child. And she's grown out of most of that thankfully.. we're are in the terrible 3's phase right now but 4 comes in October so I'm looking forward to things getting easier and brighter soon.
jseego ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:52:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I sometimes tell people, "if our second had been first, we might not have had a second."
Good for you that you know what you want.
Most people I know have had easier second children when their first were hard, but not everyone. ;)
karah99 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:30:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Four year olds whine. A lot. It's like their default setting. Five year olds start getting more bearable.
Source: I have four children.
anonmymouse ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:41:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She throws horrible tantrums right now, if that reduces to whining, I'll take it!
neverbuythesun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:01:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was a crier as a baby and loved my mum's company so was a bit fussy, but I was an easy kid because I liked to sit and read and do little else so nothing ever needed kid proofing. My younger brother was a very quiet baby, but as soon as he was old enough if you turned your back he'd be eating coal (or moisturiser, or expensive lipstick) or trying to put his fingers in plug sockets. He once posted a sandwich through my auntie's video player. My poor mum didn't get an easy time either way!
ifeelnumb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's always the 2nd child...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:13:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Our daughter was a very easy baby--she never cried, she was never sick, she nursed perfectly (no bad latches, so my nipples were never sore). She's very happy, does great in school, etc. She is/was GREAT.
...which is why I refuse to have another child. I'm not willing to tempt fate. There's ZERO chance I will get another child as good as our daughter. I'm just not that lucky.
Lizzie7493 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 18:22:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That goes along with the "the moment I saw my children I immediately loved them more than the whole universe put together" talk. I'm not a mom (yet) but whenever I think about that I don't see that kind of emotion applying so quickly to a human being I just met. I get the need to protect them above all else, of course, but 0-100 love?
I realized I was probably not the only one thinking like this when my father told us that he had the same issue when me and my brother were born. He says we were completely new people in his life and didn't even know how to react, let alone incondicional love. He also said that as he got to know us day by day he did fall in love with his kids and I believe him 100%.
So now I think that a lot of these things "eveyone says" are just a way to look good in front of others and probably isn't true all the time.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 19:12:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
jpop23mn ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:13:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some dumb bitch gave me shit at target for getting a baby brezza.
There are plenty of times prepping a bottle is easy and you have time. There are tons of times though where having a quick easy warm bottle is a life saver
Prometheus720 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:45:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother STILL pretends she loved me as a baby. Really I know that when she got into her late 30s she thought she was running out of time, married an asshole, had me, and got attached.
Attached is the word I use. There's nothing wrong with growing to love even your own children, and I think admitting that and being honest about it when you have kids makes for a better relationship.
Because now? The person I am today as an adult? She is attached to me. She doesn't love me because she doesn't understand me. You can't love a stranger, even if you know that somehow they're important and worth protecting. And I don't really love her. We're just performing our roles because we're supposed to.
1drlndDormie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:52:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's different for everyone. I loved my baby in the womb. My husband spent my pregnancy fearing he would be apathetic and then was pleasantly surprised to find he actually cared after she was born. One of my friends on the other hand didn't really grow to love her kids until they were closer to two.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:16:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I expressed this same sentiment just one day ago on /r/AskWomen and got downvoted to shit for it. I tried to explain not every woman loves their child like that, and I was told I needed to seek medical attention because anything less than complete and utter adoration is "unhealthy" and "unnatural."
Lizzie7493 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:53:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunetely most people on reddit behave like that, not respecting others at all, even in subreddits that should be mainly supportive. I've had the same experience on a related sub, I think most people have. I guess we just have to be prepared to get 10 offensive replies for each supportive one when voicing a "different" opinion, or else keep it to oneself (which is what I do most of the times now).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's one of the lest supportive subs I've been on.
pallapooha ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:04:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hated kids before I had my own and even I felt that way (0-100 love meter). I think it depends on the person but I certainly loved my kids more than I had loved anything the moments they were born. I don't think this one is a lie.
jasmine_tea_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:31:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If it's not a lie then I feel like something's wrong with me. :/ I guess it's because I need to love someone's personality.
cooljeopardyson ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:02:25 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's just different strokes for different folks. I didn't feel that 0-100 love for my daughter when she was born either. I know several people that it took time for. I think for a lot of people it's a huge adjustment period no matter what and people are just different, it doesn't have to be wrong or right.
jasmine_tea_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was comforting.
cooljeopardyson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good :) Life is hard enough without having to feel bad over being human.
gelatinparty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:37:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It can go either way. Some parents take a while as it slowly grows, others feel it right away. Others get hit with it suddenly months after the baby is born, or when it starts talking and interacting.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:19:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or it never really happens at all.
pallapooha ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:21:40 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing is wrong with you at all, I was just saying I don't think that when you hear this one that it is generally a lie. Everyone is different!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:18:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is not universal among mothers. I am one such mother.
pallapooha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't say it was, was just saying when people said it that felt it that if wasn't a lie, which is why I said that if depended on the person
BayAreaDreamer ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:50:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think the 0-100 thing is hormonal for a lot of mothers. With dads I'm not so sure...
thisdude415 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:17:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, during pregnancy, there's an enormous flood of oxytocin which is pretty much like the heroin of emotional hormones. It can definitely make a strong bond quickly.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:24 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a textbook pregnancy and nursed my kid from my breasts several times a day for two years. I never felt that sort of bond. Not all mothers do.
Lizzie7493 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:50:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oxytocin makes you bond, but that's not necessarily the same as love.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:18:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Prometheus720 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:47:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The difference is that guys are honest about it. Boom.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:50:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have kids, and even I've noticed that the way media and culture portrays motherhood can be very damaging, when talking about the problems in bonding and the tiredness and shit is turned into a sign of a "bad mother". Fortunately it does look like the discourse is changing now, with current mothers being more open about the emotional hardships.
ShmuckDestroyer ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:14:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Both sides of the family thinks my son is an adorable ball of love but in reality he's a mad pooping, teething, hair pulling monster that will rip his diaper off and shit all over your fresh sheets on the bed.
Somzer ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:46:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they're doing what you're doing.
Pretending, following the herd like a sheep, lying to their friends.
You ask "why do we have to lie", but you don't think, you don't consider it, you just go along with it.
Not good.
anonmymouse ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:49:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
well that's what I'm saying though, everyone does it, I was so guilty of it too, because NO ONE wants to be the only person who's struggling if everyone else is doing fine. I just wish it was more acceptable to be more honest about it.
cooljeopardyson ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:09:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's true as far as I can tell. We are all human, parents and kids, and kids are the most difficult assignment a person is going to get, in a lot of ways because you do care and want the best for them. It doesn't make you, or them, 'wrong' or 'bad'. However, especially when it comes to being a mom, other people, especially other moms, are culturally demanded to feel as if they aren't allowed to feel one ounce of negative emotion or have any 'fuck this' moments toward being a mom or you get people coming out of the woodwork with the crazy judgements "how could you ever feel that way about your sweet, precious baby!? you're going to feel so awful later when you realize how precious every little thing they did when they were small is!" It's way past time to drop the bullshit and allow parents to say they love their kids and all but some days shit is really hard and sometimes you just need to vent and be honest about it.
Somzer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:04:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is.
You just have to learn how not to give a flying F about what others think of you. They'll either accept it and truly become friends, or they too were just pretending, and such "friendship" has no future.
"Birds of a feather flock together", but not if you decide to just assimilate into one.
BayAreaDreamer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:52:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All my friends talk about how babies would be so much work. Maybe it just has something to do with the friends you choose?
jasmine_tea_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:41:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But do they actually have babies? I think that's what /u/anonmymouse is talking about. Once people have kids, it's hard to be honest that it's not "oh kids are so wonderful!" all the time.
BayAreaDreamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You've clearly never met my mother...
neverbuythesun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:54:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People used to tell my mum it was refreshing to see her when she was pregnant/my brother and I were babies because she would openly admit she had absolutely no idea what she was doing and wasn't afraid to have a bit of a cry about it.
phd_dude ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:34:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a number of kids that I am very close to and have been married for quite some time. I literally tell all the future dads with a pregnant wife that for most people, it really sucks for the first 12-16 months or so but to hang in there because it gets much better. I tell them that the time invested getting to know their child is worth it and it will pay off in an awesome relationship later. I have had a number of people come back to me and thank me for the heads up. Worst case scenario, for the people I warn, it ends up not being as bleak of a picture as I have painted and they are relieved.
markiro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:13:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Amen!
aithne1 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:30:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like baby smiles and coos induce amnesia, though. When people ask, I think about that stuff and say she's so amazing. The shitty stuff is part of it, but somehow the bliss kind of drowns it out right now.
ShovelingSunshine ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:11:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So true, it helps my kids weren't really difficult kids in the first place, but man other people's kids? I have no chill for other people's children.
Mlpaddict ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:59:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If I wasn't broke and a cheapskate, I'd gild your comment. First year was hard.
loljetfuel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:45:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of it has to do with marketing. We're constantly told that having a baby is supposed to be this magical happy timeโbecause we're generally willing to buy stuff to make ourselves happier.
And it is a happy time. But it's also a busy time, and hard work, and filled with fears and frustrations. But we think that if we admit to the latter, people will think we don't love our kids, and that is a terrifying prospect.
YeahSureWhat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:34:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, though, I met your <1 year old baby, and he was an asshole.
Prometheus720 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:41:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you haven't seen Bad Moms, try to find time to watch it. It's a good comedy movie and it makes a good point. Should still be in theaters.
anonmymouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought that looked amusing actually, I'll probably check it out after it's out of theaters/hopefully on Netflix or PPV.
Prometheus720 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My GF's mom is having a rough time and she forced her to go the movies and watch that with her fellow mom friends. She said they all really liked it.
notor10us ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:41:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Talking to my friend while meeting baby, they were saying how easy it is, and wondering if everyone is just lying about babies being so hard. I told them it's possible you just have an awesome and chill baby...
1drlndDormie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:44:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love my baby. I got really lucky with her being happy and not crying her head off most of the time. However, sleep regressions are fucking evil and I want to murder the person who came up with the phrase 'sleeping like a baby'. Just fuck the whole short naps, early wakings, and the need to play/cry for hours in the middle night combination.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
New reddit post
Bleda412 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am an 18 year old male and I have heard tons of horrible experiences of being around young children. How could anyone think it was all perfect? This information is very accessible from 1. Your parents 2. Other parents, like your colleagues and friends 3. TV and pop-culture (crying baby on an airplane is just one of many).
[deleted] ยท 743 points ยท Posted at 12:46:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
''Your dad just went to the store for cigarettes''
MissAnneStanton ยท 1585 points ยท Posted at 13:54:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad actually "went out to the store for cigarettes" and that was the last time I saw him.
He got struck by a car on his way and died.
My mom never did explain the dent in the minivan's bumper. One of those common mom lies.
stayoffmygrass ยท 250 points ยท Posted at 14:55:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I heard that smoking will kill you, but I envisioned it happening in another way.
Flogiculo ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:12:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I smoke with a helmet on
Bleda412 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:56:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking in an astronaut helmet will kill you faster.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:11:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
YaBoiTyler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:06:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love mrs. Doubtfire.
stayoffmygrass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:55 on August 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just noticed your inquiry - and would have to cheat to identify the movie, although I feel I have heard this before.
I give! What movie was this?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:23:02 on August 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
stayoffmygrass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:52 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I should have known that! Thanks for sharing!
DigitalSpine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:11:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Killing will smoke youยฟ
caulfieldrunner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me too. Plane crash, right?
Oddopoddo ยท 533 points ยท Posted at 14:20:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Emotional roller coaster of the day
[deleted] ยท 409 points ยท Posted at 15:28:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How the fuck is that a roller coaster. It was more or less a free fall
SalamanderSylph ยท 221 points ยท Posted at 15:46:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So, like half of my rides on Rollercoaster Tycoon?
delorean225 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:11:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
kennyl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:58:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Too soon.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:23:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Too soon? Reference?
kennyl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:26:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Kansas boy who passed away at an amusement park:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/08/08/insane-tragedy-kansas-boy-dies-on-worlds-tallest-water-slide/
http://www.cnn.com/2016/08/07/us/kansas-schlitterbahn-water-park-child-death/
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2016/08/08/kansas-water-park-closed-after-boy-dies-insane-slide/88386086/
http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/officials-investigate-death-boy-kansas-water-park-41197269
http://abcnews.go.com/US/10-year-boy-dies-kansas-water-park-ride/story?id=41189818
http://www.kansascity.com/news/local/article94254507.html
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:30:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, snap, I knew about this, but I didn't think it was a free fall, so I didn't attribute it to RCT.
TaxicabKanefessions ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I want to get off Mr. Bones' wild ride.
jinxed_07 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:48:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Something something innuendo.
wolfiesrule ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:25:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the ride never ends
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:04:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol
wowveryaccount ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 15:43:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The dent in Mom's bumper implies that she hit the father.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:45:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's only downhill, rollercoaster would be something up in between.
Will_BC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, the difference between being abandoned and having your father pass away can be pretty significant. If you're going without a dad either way better to have had one that wanted you
issius ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:51:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
were forced to assume if the mom killed dad, that dad was a bit of a dick.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:58:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom could also be a psychopath
KookyDoug ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:51:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
thatsthejoke.jpg
Bentiiee ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:37:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I see we've found the captain obvious
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or dad hit her "bumper".
eetsumkaus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So the Superman ride at Six Flags, got it
MorfienIV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like most roller coasters or started and the top and went straight to shit
Will_BC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, the difference between being abandoned and having your father pass away can be pretty significant. If you're going without a dad either way better to have had one that wanted you
family_with_benefits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You ever been on a rollercoaster lad
Dr_Romm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
More of an emotional tower of terror.
42undead2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:56:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
First, it was a free fall with a parachute.
Then the parachute was taken away.
Then I landed. On a rock.
NotABMWDriver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:42:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What the hell kinda awful roller coasters are you riding?
Ol_Shitcakes_Magoo ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:17:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I liked this story, has love, death, revenge, twists, a solid beginning, middle, and cliffhanger end to boot.
PyrZern ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:15:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
..............Sounds like she ran him over.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:59:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thatsthejoke.jpg
PyrZern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whoooshes
Sav_ij ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:04:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He got hit by his own minivan? What are the odds
Brave_Horatius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:20:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
5/7 you bastard
Hokie23aa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:32:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit
juxtaposition21 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:23:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom ran over your dad with the minivan
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Woah
Raven_7306 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You caused the tears to start up again. I NEED TO LEAVE THIS POST BUT CANT Sorry to here this man. Hope youre doing good
FizzMcButtNuggets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, your mum killed your dad? Did I interpret that right!
Polite_Insults ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom killed him? Or was the dent from another car?
Goaty_McGoatface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking has never killed so quickly.
ProfCunningFox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...
benlippincott ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:19:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Savage
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wat.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 13:06:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
nelson, is that you?
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:34:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Ha ha!" Relevant username
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:13:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe his username refers to the ancient Homer who wrote the illiad.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:11:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Papa? You came back from the store!
Fatburger3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:49:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This thread went from funny and cute(at the top) to really sad(scrolling down), really quick.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But... but dad doesn't smoke?
FUCKING LIAR!
juxtaposition21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Uhh milk! It was milk.
Yesters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't he lactose intolerant?
fireork12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dank memes
Ajk320 ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 13:26:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is the last bite. I promise.
Mojorisin5150 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:48:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always got "let me have a small bite." And then half of whatever I was eating is gone.
TheMightyIrishman ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:25:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine would wait 3 days before destroying me and my sisters chocolate Easter bunnies. I swear to god she buys those things for herself and just stuck our names on them.
Amberleaf29 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:00:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or, I'll just take a sip!
Next thing I knew half my drink was gone...
TheBlueTequila ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:00:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For me it was always, "I need to sample your ice cream to make sure it's safe. It says so in the Parent Handbook."
Oh, and the Parent Handbook--it can only be shown to other parents. Total conspiracy.
Caesrius ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:36:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's when you start referencing the 'Kid's Handbook'
logicblocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When trying things or when asking you to eat?
ProbablyPuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, that was too small. Take another.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:59:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:30:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yadda yadda broken arms yadda yadda every thread
Sedu ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 17:15:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The worst lie she ever told me came when I was in my early 20s. I had just come out as gay to her, and after a week of really vile screaming and vitriol, she had a change of heart. Here's the lie: "What are you talking about? I always knew you were gay! That's why I was so supporting and kept asking if you liked boys! I remember in college when I joined the gay rights movement and my father got so angry with me!"
The lie is beyond absurd. It's a complete rewrite of her own history. Like... it's not even plausible. She was a really vile homophobe up until that point, but just shifted her whole reality. No one that she knew in college (and I know a good number of her college friends) will back her up on the whole gay rights movement thing. She's still shitty to me about it now, and tells people that I reject her motherly love. I'm not unwilling to forgive her, but she demands that I apologize to her and make it up to her.
Nope. That is the lie that permanently scarred our relationship even more than the years of nastiness.
toastee ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:49:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She's so far in denial she re-invented her own life history so she could accept you. I think you broke her brain.
Sedu ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:07:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the thing, though. She isn't accepting. She's really mean about this whole thing. She'll go on long winded rants about how when I came out, I started treating her so badly. Maybe she's not nasty about me being gay, but she's still really nasty.
Any time anything about my being gay comes up, she starts ranting. Any time she hears about a boyfriend, she'll switch the subject to herself and how she's mistreated. She regularly reminds me of what I "did to her" when I came out. I just... don't interact with her any more. She's not part of my life.
toastee ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:15:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry your mother is a narcissistic cunt. Sigh, have a hug from an internet stranger.
apollo888 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:10:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/raisedbynarcissists
Ubername_ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:52:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It always sucks to hear about this, just know you're among countless horror stories of people coming out of the closet. Virtual hug I hope everything's alright for you now.
MichaelDTresvant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:41:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ret-conned
theLBraisedme ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 19:04:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: Hey mom need help with that
Mom: No its okay (this is the lie)
20 mins later Mom: NO ONE HELPS AROUND THIS HOUSE IDK WHAT YOU GUYS WILL DO WHEN IM GONE PROBABLY BE HAPPY HUH ?!?!?!
[deleted] ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 16:07:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was your age, I never talked back, got up on time and did my homework with no help from anybody.
RemingtonMol ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:34:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"you know what you did"
I was often confused by the term 'backtalk.' Apparently backtalk is asking what balktalk is!!
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:27:25 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had a teacher tell me under her breath, "Don't be a smartass."
My response? "Then don't be a dumbass."
Not my first paddling that year.
RemingtonMol ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:36 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can't paddle someone else to reach the shores of your own river of tears.
Fabgrrl ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:37:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See, that's actually mostly true in my case. I didn't talk back to my parents, because they would still hit you, back in the 80s.
dangerstar19 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:14:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents hit me growing up for misbehaving up until like age 8, and I'm only 18.
Proto-Dodo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:36:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was hit until I could hit back harder.
taranasus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:02:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish mine would have, the fuckers were and still are inteligent, they used some grade A psychological warfare on me to get me to behave. I have social anxiety issues now.
screen317 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
?
taranasus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Okay so for example i once put in the pin code of their new mobile phone (this was lile 1998) wrong three times and locked the phone. They never had a phone before so they were not aware of a puk code that unlocks it. They were angry i didn't just ask what the code is so i don't lock the phone. Because 8yo that doesn't have a fully developed brain yet.
So in order to punish me, i was not allowed on the computer or TV untill the phone was fixed. But they drove the message home by puttin the phone in like this little fake coffin in the middle of the bloody living room where both the tv and computer sit to make sure the message was driven home. It sat there for 3 weeks and it looked terrifying. The damn thing had candles arround it and everything.
[deleted] ยท 1205 points ยท Posted at 13:59:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My son's a good boy, he never hurt a fly, he'd give the shirt off his back to help a stranger, he loved to live life, he was always laughing, he lit up any room he walked into, he was just turning his life around, he made mistakes but never meant to do bad.
RedditEddit: This isn't a reference to any specific incident, report, or case. It's what you read in almost any news report, no matter what country or language.
SpanglyJoker ยท 717 points ยท Posted at 14:54:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That shit only comes out at the obituary
FootballBat ยท 658 points ยท Posted at 15:42:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or at the sentencing hearing.
jsprgrey ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:44:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
More often this than the obituary.
peenegobb ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:26:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah like that kid from Stanford.
vegablack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:31:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Followed by a lengthy incarceration, and then an obituary
bless_ure_harte ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:21:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or if you work in retail or fast food or teaching
LadyLaw27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every single time.
alexxerth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or after both of your arms are ripped off by farming equipment.
Rockapp2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or on Channel 5 news.
ademnus ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or at the end of psycho.
kayasawyer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:46:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The mom was the one that said she wouldn't hurt a fly lmao
ademnus ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:34:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...it was a wig
kayasawyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
what are you talking about
BonaFidee ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:43:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Usually during a TV interview after a heinous crime.
battraman ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:32:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or when the kid was high on drugs and crashed their car or walked out in front of a moving bus or something. Ever notice that the kids that die just before graduation are all honor students who loved life and lived it to the fullest and were just about to go to a big university on a full scholarship? Good to know that being an awkward teenager with no friends probably saved my life.
timothy_jmiller ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:49:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or sentencing
TheRadMatty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:09:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The gentle giant.
justyourbarber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the type of shit I've always expected someone to say if I killed myself.
qlester ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:00:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's kinda morbid, but I've always wondered what kind of shit people would make up if I died young/killed myself. Also would be curious to see how many new friends I make after I die.
Gnivil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a well known fact that people really come into their own when they die.
SparkyDogPants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's why we need a speaker of the dead
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:37:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"Hello, this is Joe. Thanks for attending my funeral. You've heard a lot about me by now, doubtlessly all positive, in touching testimonies of what a huge loss it is, or sweet memories of what a selfless, kind, smart, funny, great guy I am. I'd like to say to you all here now that these stories are total bullshit. I was a spineless immature unreliable intolerable mean selfish dumb sack of shit, and dying was the only selfless act I've ever performed. Enjoy your drinks. I didn't leave enough money to pay for them by the way, in fact I was in debt when I died - see what I mean? So please consider leaving a donation in the jar next to my urn".
Betty_Whites_Vagina ยท 261 points ยท Posted at 15:58:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is your son on the Stanford swim team?
chiefchoncho48 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:29:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not anymore
TheSchnozzberry ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:33:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was.
Shin-LaC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He was shot by police.
Glory_For_Trump ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:55:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, he jumped a guy in Florida and got shot.
Confusedbrotha ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:15:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks outunfortunately :(
Glory_For_Trump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:10 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
?
Pieisguud ยท 146 points ยท Posted at 14:38:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You uh, you okay there buddy?
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:43:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, I'm not. I don't have any pie, and according to legend, pie is good.
Pieisguud ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:01:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, indeed it is! Come, join me at my imperial court of Pie and we shall convert the non-pie heathens!
pieiscool ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:50:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
think i could get in on this pie too?
Pieisguud ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:55:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You would be most welcome at the imperial court!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:27:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think you found your subreddit you need to make
Pieisguud ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:35:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/ImperialCourtofPie has been created!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:08:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Subscribed. I just started working somewhere that's famous for pie so I've been eating tons of pie and have pie on the brain
Pieisguud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mm, please show us some pics. I love pie.
Marilyth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
May I also join the Court of Pie? Because Pie.
Pieisguud ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:35:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also, /r/ImperialCourtofPie has been created!
Pieisguud ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All are welcome at my imperial palace!
-Mikee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:24:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You don't watch the news often do you?
eekstatic ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:45:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Benny the Arsonist had a fairly normal upbringing..."
Militant_Penguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or Benny the school shooter.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I up it then my heat go off
cyclopsrex ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:16:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Norman Bates?
SuperSlam64 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mother!
teachemup2 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:22:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Said the mother of the student that's been terrorizing the class!
Bucky_Ohare ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:01:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sick reference... but you're walkin' on eggshells doing that here, buddy.
callmejenkins ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:55:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Which BLM protest was this from?
Bucky_Ohare ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:56:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was actually the family's remarks following one of the people who was shot. I believe it was the guy who was still in his car.
callmejenkins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:19:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yea. That's the point. Every BLM protest, the family comes out and says the same thing, regardless of if it was true (although obviously it's true at least some of the time).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't referring anything specific, just what any and every news report from here to England says when a kid does something dumb and gets killed.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:24:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He didn't do nothing wrong.
4587tro ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:43:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He wud a gud boi
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was he dat boi?
Appstmntnr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:03:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you Brock Turner's mother?
Definitely_Working ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh god, this was all i could think of when my ex-stepfathers mother was talking about him at his funeral. all they had to say was about how funny he was and how softhearted he was for all he did for people - the only things he did for anyone were for women he liked, and he just went from relationship to relationship while abusing their kids. every single thing his mother had to say about him i just had to roll my eyes at.
BombaFett ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I understood that reference
mhickey88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We all go a little mad sometimes
_angesaurus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"oh okay so he overdosed."
awoelt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, Neil doesn't do drugs! He's a good boy." "Mrs. Johnson, your son is such a good boy he sold me some really great weed at a discount price. Really loves helping people out."
xxc3ncoredxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is he a pyromaniac? Is that why he died?
Donuil23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hear this shit everyday from mom's trying to get their sons (and sometimes daughters) out of trouble. It gets tedious when you start recognizing the parents' names on the phone before you even pickup.
wetwater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, grew up next to one of those. I feel bad for the parents, but his bullying and violent temper finally caught up with.
just_had_2_comment ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
given the content and the fact that they are lies......sounds like another black guy got killed....
SlcCorrado ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:12:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like we've been hearing that a lot lately
ParkwayDriven ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:14:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fixed to mimic her facebook post
Jarias973 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 16:22:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tells you she's putting your allowance into a savings account than when your 18 she denies ever saying that.
Cleev ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not quite as bad, but similar.
I had a train set when I was a kid, and one day I saw a passenger car in a toy store. At that moment, I knew my entire life to that point had been leading to buying that damned passenger car. I asked my mom if she would buy it for me. That didn't fly. So I asked for a hefty advance on my allowance ($0.75 per week). No dice on that one either. However, she agreed to hold my allowance until I had enough to buy the stupid passenger car.
I shit you not, she held on to those 3 quarters a week for nearly a year. No exaggeration. It was one of the first days of the year it was warm enough not to need a jacket, and I didn't get allowance again until after thanksgiving. I'd ask about the passenger car every so often, and she'd tell me I didn't have enough yet. Finally, the Friday rolled around that she put those three stinking quarters in my grubby little hand again. I asked her about the passenger car, and she said she'd pick it up one day after work.
Apparently she thought better of that. It was too close to Christmas, she said. Maybe after the holidays she'd have time to stop by. Then it was peak season at her job, then it was too close to my birthday. I asked less and less frequently, until I asked for the last time in the fall. She claimed to have no idea what I was on about.
The impotent fury I felt at that moment, realizing I was out both 9+ months of allowance and the goddam passenger car for my train set has never quite been rivaled in my life.
RemoveKebabz ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 17:50:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want to be when you grow up!"
Really? That kid with coke bottle glasses can be a fighter pilot? That 5'4" Jewish kid can be an NBA star? That IQ 80 kid can be a doctor?
Lokiem ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:09:07 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Genuinely surprised this isn't the top comment. It's -THE- most common lie. People seem to not like to admit that everyone has their ceiling.
jasmine_tea_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:35:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I get why it's not. Even though it's not universally true, if it helps some kids to reach high and achieve things they never imagined would be possible when they were a kid, then I think saying this is fine. Life is hard enough when most people are going to be telling you what you can't do, or trying to bring you down.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:04:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Well the IQ 160 kid can't be a Southerner so the IQ 80 kid has at least one advantage
EDIT: Downvote โ Disagree/Dislike. This is not a serious thread so a joke is technically contributing. /s
EDIT 2: edit one pre-edit 3 was a joke.
EDIT 3: ADDED /s to edit 1
EDIT 4: Matting
An0therB ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:39:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
DAE people who live south of us are stupid?!
Liquid_Dood ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:37:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha ha, Antarticans suck!
marpocky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:37:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol, I like how you told an offensive joke based on a broad stereotype and then seemed to be genuinely bothered by downvotes.
The comment itself didn't bother me, but...own it, man.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i forgot a /s
i should go add that now
Okar1n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Idk man Howard Hughes was pretty smart.
RemoveKebabz ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 23:33:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you want to know if you are a bigot or not replace "southerner" with "black".
RecycledEternity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, my mom still believes in this. She's a grown-ass woman, and still believes this load of horse manure.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:51:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree.
Everyone has huge potential. They just have to match it to their talents and gifts. Too often mentors and adults are too busy telling kids 'You won't be good at that.' but never follow up with 'but you would be awesome at this instead.'
Not everyone is good at everything. That's cool. Steer them in the right direction; everyone is good at something and people like being good at things but sometimes even they can't see what their talents actually are. Especially when they're young.
throwawoofwoof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:21:07 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well the glasses kid could get lasik so he still has a chance right?
soomuchcoffee ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 14:11:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"That's nice dear."
Honkey_Cat ยท 143 points ยท Posted at 13:17:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't tell your siblings, but you are my favorite.
straydog1980 ยท 113 points ยท Posted at 13:21:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love all of you kids equally much...
No you don't, you have a favourite.
Forikorder ยท 177 points ยท Posted at 14:56:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"i dont care for Gob"
Manan6619 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:15:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Got something against ghouls, bigot?
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 14:36:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually I do, but it doesn't seem to be you, Josh.
TheGeraffe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:29:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:'(
LazyTheSloth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yea. Fuck you Josh.
Zardif ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:08:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother and father clearly had a favorite. My sister the youngest and only girl got away with anything and was spoiled excessively.
eetsumkaus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:58:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
same here. My mom pleads with me to talk sense into her whenever she does something rebellious, but I only really step in if she does something to hurt herself, which isn't very often because she's smart
timewontfly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine, too. My mom's favorites are my disabled sister and my brother (the only boy) and my dad's is my youngest sister. And they're super obvious about it. And they all wonder why I always feel left out at family stuff.
RvH98 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to tell me that i was her most loved (name). The same went for my brother and sister
LainExpLains ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:21:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always said her favorite kid changed day to day and it could be literally any of them. I could believe that. It was whoever was least destructive that day.
hatebitesyouback ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:02:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Have many kids, and they each hear at one time or another:
"You're my favorite, but don't tell the others."
And it's true. They are each my most beloved child!
oliviathecf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:21:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We'd always ask my mom who her favorite was, she'd always tell me that I was her favorite blonde daughter (note: I'm her only blonde daughter) and my twin sister was her favorite brunette daughter who's a twin.
That'd always satisfy us haha.
hatebitesyouback ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:16:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mothers have ways of making it all even out. :-)
oliviathecf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:18:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, yep! It actually took me awhile to work it out that I'm her only blonde daughter too the first time she told me that.
hatebitesyouback ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:29:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Too funny. I got away with it by saying, "You're my favorite four-year-old in the whole world" or similar when they were all together.
The oldest ones loved to torment me though: "Okay, Mom. Say there's a tornado that rips through the house and you can only grab one of us. Who would you pick?"
(little shits...the youngest kids would stare at me, doe-eyed, waiting for my answer to see where they stood)
I'd just squint at them inscrutably for a moment trying to formulate the best answer, and then end up saying something like, "This isn't fucking Sophie's Choice, so get out of my face before I find something useful for you to do -- like scrub the toilets."
And they would laugh and ignore me. Because that's how we rolled.
Your mom sounds great, u/oliviathefb (fave blonde)
oliviathecf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:31:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, that's pretty funny too. I often worried about that one, which parent I would save in case of disaster. It didn't concern me that I was a very small kid who wouldn't have been able to save either of course!
She really is, you also sound like a great mom. :)
hatebitesyouback ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:35:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks! I miss those days sometimes.
oliviathecf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Heh, I sometimes get the feeling that my mom does too. But, hey, I'll always be her baby haha.
hatebitesyouback ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You got that right!
My youngest was getting exasperated with me last week over the phone with my "career advice."
I finally sputtered in motherly desperation: "But, but! You're still only four to me!"
His sigh was heard in several neighboring states.
oliviathecf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha pretty much. Sometimes, I think my parents are shocked at how capable all of us are...and also about how not so capable we all are too!
HeadlessMarvin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:01:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think my mother has favorites. She has least favorites, I know that.
rustyrivet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:47:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Came to say this
Ayyeeeee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah my parents tell that to my little brother so I stopped being around them. They now hate everything I do and constantly yell at me for lots of stuff i do.
Scorpius289 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:54:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I am Commander Mom, and this is my favorite kid in the house."
stayoffmygrass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was your Mom that lady in "Prince of Tides"?
tableman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So you weren't the favorite?
laterdude ยท 97 points ยท Posted at 13:40:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I tripped and fell on a door knob."
Cheapo_Sam ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 14:15:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is this how she fell pregnant?
Kahzgul ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 16:53:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just gonna leave this here.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:39:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, /u/laterdude definitely was an accident then.
alternativespecs ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:15:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, it's 4 am and I can't think. Explain this for me?
tiger1296 ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 14:19:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dad beats her
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 14:30:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:25:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
with jumper cables.
liam06xy ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:09:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
username...
does not check out
* looks at a picture of rogersimon10 as a single tear falls *
Cleev ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:24:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes, on lonely nights, I'll look up at the moon, and it makes me feel just a little better to think that somewhere, /u/rogersimon10 is getting beaten by his dad with a set of jumper cables under that same moon, and it makes the world seem a little less big and empty.
CRISPR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:18:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. Clarissa, look for the comic book.
snowflake247 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:40 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:(
TheInvisibleDuck ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 13:56:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah how can you trip over a doorknob
Wixou ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:45:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who's leaving these knobs on the floor?
Boathead96 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:36:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you read the comment?
[deleted] ยท 434 points ยท Posted at 13:53:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 122 points ยท Posted at 16:58:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got the "boys are only looking for a wet place to stick it. He doesn't actually like you."
Thanks mom. That SURELY didn't skew my perception of dudes for a long time.
Painting_Agency ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 18:49:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jeez, if that were true life would be so much easier. Wanting love and companionship makes it much more complicated.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:23:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
No shit right. Plus all this expectations of being a good person? Bah!
It flipped how I should have handled relationships for awhile, until I met my husband really. I led with sex and then tried to get to know them (which rarely lasted more than 2-3 months). My husband I met online in the 90s and we had a text and phone only relationship for a year before meeting. Changed my entire outlook on relationships.
soproductive ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 18:14:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, this probably isn't too far from the truth for the majority when you're in high school.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 18:18:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe, but it's the wrong message to be the only message.
soproductive ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:25:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely. I guess parents don't always realize that when they make generalizations like that, their kids may internalize them more than they'd expect. Naivete is a bitch, gotta learn things on your own sometimes.
There certainly are genuine guys from the get go, but at younger ages it may be fair for a parent to assume that most boys of the high-school age are just looking to get in their daughter's pants. Not saying it's justified for the parent to straight up teach their daughter that as an ideology, but as a passing remark to a teen daughter, I can totally see their side.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:28:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I personally think giving a teenager a honest sex talk, not just the physical aspects but emotional as well, is really a better solution than just knee jerking to "boys only care about your vagina". It's a bad message and shouldn't be justified.
To tell a young girl as their guardian to this world that boys see no worth past their privates is lazy and selfish and wrong. No caveats. No explanations. No conversation. "Your only worth is your vagina."
soproductive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup! I agree. Just trying to play a little Devils advocate. I edited my above post a little, not sure if you caught it or not.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:20:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't catch it :) thanks for letting me know
Kids are always going to have to learn on their own for sure. I did. My friends did. But having a body positive and confidence-centric sex tall was something I missed out on.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 18:50:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There just isn't time to have all the conversations you need to have.
skysinsane ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:35:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience guys of that age are looking for a lot of things, including but not limited to "a wet place to stick it."
I don't understand why people insist on thinking that if sex is your biggest priority, you clearly care about nothing else.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:55:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
skysinsane ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:11:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
skysinsane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:29:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
sure, but I still don't understand the intent behind your comment.
sohetellsme ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:24:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And college
soproductive ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It gets better in college, but yeah, the sleezebags will always exist.
BleedingAssWound ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:26:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like this comment more if your username was "bitterVag"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:31:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd probably have gotten gold if it were.
MuonManLaserJab ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 15:13:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone's Mom always cockblockin' everyone...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Except OP'mom...she was cockrockin' everyone
Laz_The_Kid ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 14:14:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your username makes me think this one is actually true
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 14:16:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Roflremy ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 15:33:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I KEEP SEEING YOUR
POSTSCOMMENTS[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:25:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
mountaingirl1212 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:59:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was maybe 13 I told my mom I was going to wait until I was married to lose my virginity and she told me that was ridiculous.
EDIT: But she did tell me blowjobs were disgusting and you should never give them.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:01:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:10:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
EvanHarpell ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:46:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This. Who wants to marry someone who sucks in bed? Sure you can discuss what you like and what to do but some people flat out suck.
CorpseZero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:02:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Scary. I'm too old for that shit.
SamuraiJakkass86 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:35:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Parents should really just go the opposite route; "Meet your future husband!"
Future husband: "I liiiiike sloots."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Great that means I can have a gambling problem you heard him he said he likes slots
HonestyIsForTheBirds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:40:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed. Why would I lie?
Metal-Marauder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They told a lie, it's just not theirs
Jaskre ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:24:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha great way to objectify the female (I'm guessing) form, what about your mind? Isn't that worth anything?
foxtrotcomp ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:58:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on if it's had a penis in it or not /s
One-2-many ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:39:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the future husband
Tw_raZ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Weren't you in an askreddit thread? People debated your name there too...
ALWAYS_TELLING_LIES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I almost only post here, so probably.
BlueDragonGirl_ ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:52:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me that, too. But the first guy I gave it up to is currently laying in bed next to me and I'm over here looking at wedding invitations. :)
Just don't be too easy. You have to be a little picky. Keeps you from getting stalkers, diseases, and murdered by crazy exes/current lovers.
[deleted] ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 16:42:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Story time: I gave it up to my first real boyfriend. I was 18. I thought we were getting married. We were together for 3 years, 2 of which were long distance, and did in fact have plans to move in together and get married (and were only a year and a half away).
We broke up. I was confused and went through a period of hooking up with, well, a few more people than you'd guess, since I've now stopped doing that. I was definitely what you'd call "too easy."
Know what happened? Well, since we always had safe sex, no diseases. Did things always end nicely? No, but since we're all adult enough to have sex, we're all adult enough to have mature conversations and find an appropriate way to deal with our bitterness and/or resentment and move on. No stalking, no murder by a former or current lover.
Know what did happen? I was at the gym and met a gorgeous, down-to-earth guy through a mutual friend. We all went out for drinks, he stayed over at my place and we hooked up. Now we're exclusively dating and both really happy. He doesn't care what my "body count" is - he didn't even ask. It doesn't matter who I've been with in the past, it only matters that I'm with him now.
Being "easy" isn't necessarily a good thing or a bad thing as long as you're smart about it. Practice safe sex. Learn the difference between "lay" and "lie." Enjoy your upcoming wedding. Stop telling people that if they sleep with too many people, terrible things will happen to them, and they WILL GET CHLAMYDIA, and they WILL DIE.
Edit: typo
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:20:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:05:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely. Not only was it required for my university, but also just a good idea in general. I've got my bases covered.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:28:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:24:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry to hear that. :( I wish you the best for your procedure and recovery! I'm definitely grateful that my generation has the resources that we do, both in things like contraception and vaccines and information about how the body works and how to stay safe. Who knows where I'd be without that.
BlueDragonGirl_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:01:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Being too easy is just not being smart about it. What I mean is don't just sleep with literally anyone. Be smart and be a little bit selective, because you never know what you'll end up with. They might seem normal/sane at first, but shit happens.
Of course I'm only speaking from my own experience and a few friends, so I can't speak for everybody.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why chlamydia? Im pretty sure that cureable with like 3 days worth of prescription antibiotics. Why not bring out the big guns of STDs like HIV, AIDs or hell the worst one an unplanned kid.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:04:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking of the Mean Girls reference.
Also, I totally agree with you that there are far, far worse things than chlamydia, but since if often presents no symptoms, you don't even know you have it until it's done some damage. Which is slightly scary and sticks in my mind.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:14:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably because the more conservative girls (who haven't had a "slutty" period) aren't on Reddit and it's not really a representative population. The girls on Pinterest seem to be at the other end of the spectrum, for example. Or because it's not an uncommon thing for people to go through, like how some people experiment with drugs.
As for what to believe in, that's up to you. I believe people can be pretty dynamic and change a lot, and while I'm interested in people's histories, I don't think they necessarily reflect on who that person is now. That's just based on my experience, though. Everyone is different.
I'm far from the person I was six months ago that really just wanted someone (or a few someones) to fill the void and hope I wouldn't be judged for it, but obviously some people will judge me anyway and I'm fine with that.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:42:38 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:52 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll still say Reddit isn't necessarily the most reliable source. People could be bitter or their perception could be different. By some peoples' standards, I'm "too easy," but by others, I just did normal twenty-something-single-person stuff.
The thing to remember is that even if a lot of people did have a phase like that, people can and do grow out of it. I certainly did after I realized one day that I just didn't enjoy it, and I can rattle off a list of others who had an, er, adventurous past, but are happily committed and/or married and it's all behind them. Cheating is different - I would be hesitant to trust someone who'd ever cheated. But some people play the field while they're single, get tired of being casual, and realize they want something more fulfilling.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 18:31:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you're not saying that anyone who disagrees with this is immoral. It's fine that you believe this, but I personally believe in waiting for marriage. I'm not forcing my beliefs on you or anyone, and I expect that you're not doing the same.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:21:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I absolutely agree with you (in not forcing beliefs on anyone). I'm only trying to say that to me, it's important that my partner not mind what I've done in the past, as it doesn't reflect who I am today.
Other people, of course, believe differently, and just because those beliefs aren't compatible with mine doesn't make them any less valid. Just different things to consider when picking a partner.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for clarifying
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No trouble at all. Going over it again, it does seem a bit vague.
timewontfly ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:11:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where on earth did you get that? She's saying that's all that matters to her current partner. You do you.
justwasted ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She's also projecting her own rationalizations onto his thoughts.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BlueDragonGirl_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:27:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BlueDragonGirl_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you can doubt me all you want or you can take me at face value. Regardless, I know that I'm currently very happy and planning a wedding, and I'm not going to prove myself to a stranger on the Internet.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:09:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BlueDragonGirl_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never said I've only been with one guy. I said that I'm currently planning a wedding with the first guy I slept with.
And if you look at my more recent history, you'll see me posting questions, comments, and requests for advice in wedding-related subreddits.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:18:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BlueDragonGirl_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:36 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've been with him on and off through the last 5 years. Yes, I've slept around. I'm not denying that. And just because I "don't seem like the marrying type" doesn't mean I'm not.
How about we don't make assumptions and generalizations based on comments on reddit? My comments and post history don't give nearly enough information for anybody to judge.
sohetellsme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We got a class 5 clinger over here folks, watch out! :P
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:27:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd never let my daughter marry the first guy she dated/slept with. And, as a minimum, she must be at least 25 to get married.
BlueDragonGirl_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:01:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or you could let your daughter make her own decisions.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are some decisions that are too important to make alone.
One of the jobs we parents have is to insert ourselves in our child's lives if they are about to fuck up something big time. This is one of those times I would be very, very insistent.
BlueDragonGirl_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Give your guidance all you want. But you should instill that ability in her from a young age, and her entire life let her feel comfortable talking to you and asking you for advice. Instead of just telling her no or trying to force her to see your way.
But keep in mind that you have to let your children learn on their own.
GAGirlChild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
News flash, mom: he is my future husband. And he does want my body and that ain't going to change.
Jorumvar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, this confuses me
Usually people say "Keep it in your pants" to boys
And yet, you say both "future husband" and "want your body", which are things you would say to a girl
So... girl got mad dick?
FPSGamer48 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. Most guys want a woman who knows what to do in the bedroom.
Rockapp2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Little did she know you can do both by making a hole in your pants
just_had_2_comment ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this is actually kind of true. who wants a girl who feels like you are fucking an old baseball glove?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, honey, the topic was lies.
scottnado ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a guy, my mother told me the opposite. "I don't need details, but I'll buy you condoms if you ever need them."
She started telling me this at 15.
Chriso380 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out
Curlimonki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me sex wouldn't be as good if I didn't wait until I was married.... Turns out, I prefer living in sin.
stayoffmygrass ยท -23 points ยท Posted at 15:03:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well - who the hell wants to marry a virgin? What a recipe for divorce.
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 15:46:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What is wrong with being a virgin tho. As long as she is a nice human abd our personalities match I doubt her being a virgin will be the reason for the divorce.
LordFu ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 16:10:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You must be 12. Sexual compatibility is a big part of a healthy relationship.
that_looks_nifty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:37:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sure it's a big part of a relationship, but that can be explored and learned during marriage. Part of the fun is learning what works, what doesn't, and exploring each other. That can be done while dating or during marriage. An open dialogue and communication really is the key to a happy marriage, in and out of bed.
yanroy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:42:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But if you're not compatible, it's a bit late to back out at that point
LordFu ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 17:42:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And if you discover you aren't compatible, you're only out years of your life...
Your view is naive.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:31:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What? That depends entirely on the people involved. It may be a big part of your relationship but not everyone else's.
triumph0flife ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:34:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Compatibility is reciprocal. You're really agreeing with the poster above. If sex isn't that important to you, then you need to find a partner who also considers sex unimportant. Neither partner would be sexually compatible with somebody who considers sex very important.
callmejenkins ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:59:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yea. High libido vs low libido it's going to be a lot more challenging than both high or low.
multiclefable ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:02:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Very true. I didn't know how important sex would be to me (and how important it would be to find someone with a compatible drive and kinks) unil I started having sex.
delorean225 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that_looks_nifty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:35:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My husband was a virgin when I met him in college. I didn't mind, in fact I respected that more than if he tried to get some on the first date.
Nothing wrong with being a virgin. A lot of people choose to wait until they meet that special someone.
SMURGwastaken ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:35:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like it's a fact that being a virgin makes you more attractive to a lot of men, I mean it's at least a common thing where men find previous promiscuity a bit disconcerting. We are basically hardwired to be possessive types on an evolutionary/biological level so I'm not sure this counts as a lie.
class_Human ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 14:39:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We only going to buy milk and bread."
We ended up with half supermarket in the shopping cart.
mmmdddmmm ยท 279 points ยท Posted at 14:56:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"High school is the best time of your life!"
No mom. Every period of my life since has been better. Not that high school sucked, because it certainly didn't, but the periods of my life afterwards have been so much better. Examples include:
Going to college and joining a learning community, then a fraternity.
Taking a year off of school to work, since I was struggling in school like never before (I'm sure my borderline alcoholism didn't help) - it got my foot in the door at the company I work for now, and I've since moved into a much better role with a much higher salary.
Going back to school and finally getting to live in aforementioned fraternity, where I got to meet the guy who will co-best man my wedding one day.
Going through a string of relationships that have helped shape me into the partner I am today.
While dealing with my pregnant girlfriend was no fun most days (being emotional before raging hormones certainly didn't help), my son has been the most incredible blessing in my life.
Again, high school didn't suck. But life after high school has been so much better, without even taking into account the freedoms that come with age (I never really gave a shit about going to the bars, I was more excited to finally be able to buy my own fucking booze and not have to bother anyone else about it).
Kahzgul ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 16:54:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When people tell you X is the best time of your life, they mean it was the best time of their life. Your mom peaked in high school. Sorry.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:30:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was a different experience for me. I think my parents told me that so I would make the most out of it, even if it was going to be bad. Funnily enough it wasn't because I made it good. I made good choices I behaved optimistically and I worked hard. Life happens with or without you so make the most of it.
starsandtime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:49:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a bit different if you're bullied, I'm afraid.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can sympathise. I was bullied as a child but never at sixth form (uk college equivalent). I'm not sure if it just happens less. How I dealt with it up until then was simply having a good circle of friends. bullies existed all the time till sixth form but I had a good set of mates and I worked on myself as well. I know this is incoherent but what I want to say to anyone reading this is that there is something you can do about your situation. Work on yourself, become better, make friends and most importantly let go of the anger. I know how that anger feels the rage against people who make you feel helpless and let me tell you it's worth letting go. I don't mean ignore it and them I mean deal with them without getting angry and emotional.
hood125 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:52:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Peak too sooner.
Kahzgul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That clips makes me a little sad. I used to think Mike Meyers was funny, and now even when I see things I used to laugh at, they just don't work for me anymore.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:48:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Kahzgul ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am not sure at all what you're asking. Just click "context" and you can see what post it was on.
mtbt ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
whoosh.
e: i see how that could have been misconstrued
fragilestories ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:00:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, that's kind of shorthand for "High school is the last time in your life where you essentially have zero responsibilities, so fucking relax and enjoy it, because when you get older you can have wonderful worldly experiences but they'll always be tempered by the day-to-day shitshow of life"
Bartweiss ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:36:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But it's not good shorthand because that message doesn't translate until you're older. I didn't understand the point of that line until someone (an uncle?) actually told me "no responsibilities" version explicitly. Without clarifying, it's often just a shitty thing to say to someone who's not very happy in high school.
starsandtime ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:51:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Especially borderline suicidal kids who you're trying to guilt into feeling better.
Don't do that.
that-writer-kid ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:09:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, the 5+ hours of homework I had each night were pretty soul-crushing. I love being an adult. You can leave your work at work.
323445 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:49:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you were very inefficient if you did 5+ hours of homework each night
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:38:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think some people look at teenage years as freedom from responsibilities. I think the responsibilities of adulthood give me much more freedom.
TheLazyProjector ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:00:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like this post a lot. It kind of illustrates how the messiness of life that we fear so strongly can be beautiful. If you told someone that they would need to drop out of school because of an alcohol problem or have a pregnant girlfriend, then they would have so much anxiety over those possible outcomes. Yet, those outcomes, the same outcomes that everyone fears happening to them, has lead you to a happy and fulfilling spot in your life.
It's just really cool to see how that which you can fear so powerfully can actually bring you what you were scared it would take away.
Rikutheal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:56:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is one of the cases where everyone has a different experience. :)
girusatuku ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well some people aren't that lucky.
Turtleweezard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, was middle school better? Because middle school sucked for me and most people I know.
peardude89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was shorter.
chaosfire235 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Middle school was pretty fun for me. Never really click much with how much most folk hate school
henn64 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:27:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
High school is the best time of your life!
...If you don't have depression.
DapperPanda01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not saying this is true for your mom, but my dad told me that because high school really was the best time of his life and things went to shit and stayed there afterwards. High school was fine for me, but every stage after has gotten better. It took me a while to realize he never experienced that and was telling me the truth as he saw it.
Tooch10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody has ever seriously said to me that HS would be the best time of my life. If anything, people have said that if HS was the best time of your life, you need to make some changes.
a-r-c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
high school was the shit
weed and pussy and concerts and house parties all the time and MORE FUCKING MONEY THAN I HAVE NOW BECAUSE I GOT PAID CASH UNDER THE TABLE AND DIDN'T HAVE ANY BILLS!
that-writer-kid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The whole "high school is the best time of your life" thing is just a horrible thing to tell people. I mean, do you walk up to anyone else and tell them "It's all downhill from here"?
fifteencat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a lie if you believe it.
misslilitheredhead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Going into sixth grade, my grandmother told me, "Middle school is the best time of your life!" Going into freshman year, I heard "High school is the best time of your life!" Going into college, it was "College is the best time of your life!" Same applied to birthdays. Turning 12? Best year I'll ever have. Turning fifteen? Best year too. Turning sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, it's all been the same. I turn twenty in a few days and I know I'll get the same thing.
TheBlackFlame161 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a somewhat recent high school graduate and not yet in college. Adult life is so shit. High school was a blast compared to working all day at a fucking car wash for minimum wage.
LainExpLains ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't feel like alcoholism sounds like a "good" life... your examples are sketchy. But at least you're happy.
mmmdddmmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe not a "good" life, but I sure as fuck had fun with it at the time.
ThundercuntIII ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 13:07:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love your dad
Ubername_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:01:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
parents divorce right as I enter high school because I needed more stress and social pressures at that time in my life. ๐
LSDnSideBurns ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 17:10:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Vaccines cause autism. Because of The Chemicals. As a mother I have a right to choose what's best for my baby.
You should go on a herbal cleanse to get rid of all The Chemicals.
I only buy all natural 100% organic free range vegan vitamins because the other vitamins are made out of The Chemicals.
RamblyJambly ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:24:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Should inform them of the dangers of DHMO
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:59:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Retort: No chemicals? No water for you then, no life either, because you are made of chemicals you idiot.
wolfiesrule ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:34:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta love Granola Moms. Thank God my mom was never like this.
GoredonTheDestroyer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:39:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I almost had an aneurysm just reading that.
airbiscuits_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:53:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"The Chemicals" remind me of those bullshit "toxin cleansers". Did she get you those too?
wolfiesrule ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason that reminds me of this one community who believes autism is cause by parasites. How to get rid of those parasites? Give your innocent child a bleach enema.
Look it up, I am not kidding. Shit will make your blood boil.
Im_Pronk ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:13:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Nutella?! That's your mothers special diet food, you'd hate it."
I was like 25 when I found out...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:54:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Im_Pronk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:09:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me and little bro got those awful peanut butter wafers. I total bought her lie and never even tried Nutella though. That packaging was so boring looking.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:19:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Im_Pronk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:52:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can eat it for breakfast?!?!
I have on other lie I never even questioned until my YOUNGER brother told me a few years back...
So my Dad has a massive scar from his waist to his sternum, to the point where his bellybutton is off set. Growing up I was told it was a surgery scar. It didn't surprise me because he had multiple shoulder/knee/elbow surgeries when I was younger. Turns out he had been held up outside of a bar in his twenties on Thanksgiving. He didn't feel like giving up his stuff so his assailant pulled out a knife and stuck him. He was left gut like a fish and left for dead. I've never asked him about it personally, but my MUCH older brothers (from a previous marriage) told us some passer-by found him shortly after and got him to a hospital. Not so much my Mom hiding anything, but both of my parents.
sssl3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still don't like Nutella. My co-workers eat it so much.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
LordPhoenixNZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:53 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nutella is gross. Now the homebrand hazelnutspread is another story. I wish I could afford some.
abalechichi ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 20:19:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess this only applies to Israeli mothers that tell all children : by the time you will be grown up there will be peace and you won't have to become a soldier
RecycledEternity ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:46:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
D:
(I can imagine that said, followed by a heavy sigh, and a wistful staring out of a nearby window.)
dirething ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is confusing... even with peace the military would still be required... is it a compound lie or is the lie more about the fighting?
reptar_cereal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In Israel military service is compulsory for at least two years.
dirething ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:49:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right, and considering their location I don't see that changing in times of peace, so I don't get the point of the lie.
nabbitnabbitnabbit ยท 189 points ยท Posted at 14:14:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I told my son that Thomas the Tank Engine eats poo.
He now accepts that as fact.
Yet, he doesn't seem to mind Thomas' shit fetish...
Oh, common? Perhaps if more mothers told their children that Thomas is a shit-eater, we wouldn't have Thomas the Tank Engine's theme tune rolling through our brains all the time.
hms11 ยท 228 points ยท Posted at 15:48:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm confused.
You wanted to break your sons fascination with Thomas the Tank Engine by telling him he eats poo?
You have now combined a boys two favourite things: Heavy equipment and bowel movements.
NotThisFucker ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 16:59:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Throw in dinosaurs and you've got a new trifecta
Ziggy_Drop ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:20:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well dinosaur hammers are technically heavy equipment.
Benzinbleifrei ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:50:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To soon.
shadeOfAwave ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:43:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thomas the Tank Engine shitting out dinosaurs
nabbitnabbitnabbit ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:41:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was early in my parenting career.
I now realise my mistake.
I also taught him that giraffes make the sound 'a'right bruv', which is far less socially damaging.
Scp-1404 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:26:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"...and as night falls on the Serengeti, the giraffes can be heard moving across the plains... A'right bruv... a'right bruv... a'right bruv..."
Jayman9609 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:38:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...fucking long horses think they're so clever.
LividWonk ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:03:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hell yeah. Being knowledgeable of earth movers and fart jokes opened a lot of career paths for me.
SidewaysInfinity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Plus it's better for the environment than coal!
Amosqu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:00:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's only if the boy is between 18 months to 3 years. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_stage
More_Metal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Laurifish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is clearly their first boy.
jack0rias ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 15:57:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your son is gonna eat a poo one day because of what you have done.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:00:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have eaten poo it tastes like the food I ate two days ago mashed up with like 2 other days. (am 27)
Violeteyes1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:03:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
O.O
jack0rias ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is... interesting
GAGirlChild ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:29:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My nephew used to eat stuff out of his diaper. Gross.
nabbitnabbitnabbit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:43:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All kids have tried it at least once, whether you caught them or not.
delorean225 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:26:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not since I started forming memories, apparently.
nabbitnabbitnabbit ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:40:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Be thankful.
Kids are disgusting...
...or maybe just little boys...
...or maybe just my little boy.
Freedmonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, all boys are disgusting.
lazyspeedrun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:05:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All little boys will grow up to spend every living moment of their life to uphold patriarchy and their privileges /s
Freedmonster ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 18:20:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think you misread my comment/haven't dealt with young children?
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:50:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did I miss some memo?
SuperTurtle24 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:06:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't remember eating poop
Dzjill ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:52:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think so...
SidewaysInfinity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:37:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I distinctly recall child-me realizing part-way through playing in some mud that it was a mess and going to dry and be dirt. I doubt any poop-eating occurred after that switch flipped in my brain.
nabbitnabbitnabbit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:52:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eventually children understand the inherent danger of mess, running into traffic and jumping headfirst into concrete. Until then, damn, I am shocked that more children don't perish from snacking on random field poop.
It is extraordinary that you remember the moment.
Andrewf289 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm
BonaFidee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:45:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Scat fetish inc.
Regantra ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:33:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
why
nabbitnabbitnabbit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:36:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To break his fascination with that stupid train.
Joke's on me.
Regantra ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
but kids always get obsessive about stuff
leave it
nabbitnabbitnabbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was left a year ago.
We have moved on to much better cartoons and books without pictures.
Regantra ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:54:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
don't talk shit about thomas
avenlanzer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:32:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Two trains one cup
FruitBeef ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
COME ON*
Logic_and_Memes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know, it's pretty good if you mix it up a bit.
waylonsmithersjr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Next time it comes on just think of it as an instrumental and start rapping
http://youtu.be/lzmWzXLPa6I
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They're poo they're four they're sick they're eight.
dubh_righ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Their poo, therefore it's sick, they ate.
No, son, those are the words in the theme song.
Edit - crap, I didn't read far enough down. I'm leaving it anyway.
silent--echoes ยท 171 points ยท Posted at 13:04:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Your father will be mad when he gets home
Henevercamehome
LeavesCat ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:44:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can't be the most common lie if it only happens once per household.
swanyMcswan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:33:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember one time I did something stupid. I don't remember what. And my mom's usual stuff wasn't working. She said "just wait until your dad gets home and you explain to him what you did." I was so scared all day even though it was my mom who got more mad than my dad.
My dad gets home and was basically like "meh whatever" and I realized that day if my mom said that line I had nothing to worry about.
ivebeenhereallsummer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did she lie about why he left in the first place?
silent--echoes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:05:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She said he went to go buy cigarettes :(
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
With a wife like that, I wonder why.
AndreT_NY ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:25:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You'll shoot your eye out."
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:47:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually he shot his glasses, so it's kinda true
Chrisnyc47 ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 15:37:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh you're sick? It's that damn Nintendo"
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:10:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It wasn't until my 20s that my parents finally relented and stopped trying to tell me that game consoles damage TVs. They said the VCR was "different."
I'm not sure why they expected me to believe that, considering we only ever had one TV need repairs, and there wasn't a console hooked up to it. I was only about 12 at the time and I'll admit, I gave them a little hell and blamed their VCR for breaking the TV.
Chrisnyc47 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is hilarious ๐
GoredonTheDestroyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
consoles are specifically designed to attach to televisions. If they weren't, they'd come with their own monitor that would greatly increase MSRP. The logic that something specifically designed to work with a TV can break it is absurd at best. Sure, the image can burn into the TV, but simply plugging a console into a TV isn't going to render it unusable.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And that's pretty much exactly what I told them every time, too.
It was obvious they just didn't want me playing games on the big TV, but I wasn't gonna let misinformation slide.
Ubername_ ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:05:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Go outside! *pokemon go releases" .. STOP GOING OURSIDE AND STARING AT YOUR PHONE! ๐
Stacia_Asuna ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:38:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
GO OUTSIDE! BUT DON'T HAVE FUN!
GraveyardGuide ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:00:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's lots of fun things to do outside besides play on your phone.
Like go on a walk in the woods, or climb a tree, or poke at that bird carcass with a morbid curiosity.
Nofgob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, poking dead birds is tons of fun. Especially if you have a good stick.
Stacia_Asuna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Subjective though. Most people like Pokemon Go more.
GraveyardGuide ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:19:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd rather not play a poorly-designed game than do anything interesting.
LordofSnails ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:58:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Man I have a wicked stomach ache"
"You spend too much time on the computer that's why"
????
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:11:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're supposed to poop in a sock so you don't have to leave. That's why your stomach hurt.
MichaelDTresvant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:43:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...but I have a PlayStation....
Chrisnyc47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:11:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's all Nintendos to them, so it doesn't matter
jambone_11 ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 15:10:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The crust is the most nutritious part of the bread ๐
precious_little_pig ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:53:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I heard that all the time, like bread crust is like an apple or potato peel. It was just a couple years ago that I realized the crust is the same as the rest of the bread. I'm 30.
creditcardpie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:51:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Recently went off on my dad for this same lie....same epiphany....he laughed like a maniac.
Husband told me if it doesn't have seeds or something it's probably the least nutritious part because it's probably covered in oil of some sort and has more carcinogens from being more cooked.
Lying bastards.
astroskag ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:33:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Baking bread creates antioxidants thought to help prevent cancer, and the highest concentration is in the crust. Listen to your mother.
LasigArpanet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:37:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! "That's where all the vitamins are!" and "I payed for that part of the bread too!"
Now that I buy my own bread, I happily tear off as much as I like.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:25:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
grumpu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm also facing this crisis. Is it not? 8l
Ubername_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I've never heard this one... But maybe I'll use it someday ๐๐
pivotraze ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:59:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always told me that.
I didn't give a fuck, get rid of the crust. It's disgusting. Still is. I cut that shit off.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:24:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I HATE Crust, I leave it on and use it as a place to grab the sandwich from... I guess it's just another point of my life that I do the exact same way every time with no change haha
Sll3rd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:39:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately, I have. It's just as asinine as any of the other stupid lies parents tell their children.
SteroidSandwich ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 14:41:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I will think about it"
It means no and she has already stopped giving a fuck about it
ContiX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:20:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funnily enough, whenever my mother said this, it was usually a positive indicator. She almost always just said "no" when she meant no.
Dban425 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now if only my nine year old would understand this....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That usually means "Yes, but I CBA to do it right now"
RecycledEternity ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:44:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I understood it was always a "no"... but early in my life I had a rudimentary grokking of "nothing is impossible, just highly improbable": that there was a low chance of her saying yes, but she could STILL say yes, as the future wasn't written yet.
That, and I think she expected me to forget the next day.
So, the next day will roll around... sometime around the same time as before: "Hey ma, can we [do the thing]?"
resonantred35 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:44:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh honey, he's on a BIG farm where he can run and play with other dogs, it's so much better for him"
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:45:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Liquid_Dood ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:39:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think your mother might be a piece of shit.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:45:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Derpywhaleshark7 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:03:53 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Morale of the story : Religion sucks, autism and being gay aren't linked.
ALittleFishNamedOzil ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:15:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And OP's mom might be lesbian in denial
PurpleNinja63 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:38:24 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait does your brother have autism or his he gay?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:43:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PurpleNinja63 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:41:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The plot thickens.
Piperplays ยท 123 points ยท Posted at 15:43:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll love you even if you're gay.
kuroimakina ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 17:01:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You choose who you love! You're just choosing to love boys because you don't want to be happy!"
Those kinds of parents are the best, truly /s
EKomadori ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 17:00:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry. I'm sorry that your mother said that ("even if you're gay" makes it sound like it's something she would forgive you for, when it's nothing to forgive), and I'm sorry that she said it and it still turned out to be a lie.
He's too young to know what we're saying, but my wife and I always tell our son that we will love him, no matter what. He'll do things to disappoint us (being gay would not be one of those things), but even when we disapprove of his actions, he will always be loved.
eseehcsahi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:36:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're good people. I wish I'd had parents like you.
MrOtero ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:59:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your son is very lucky of having such parents
EKomadori ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:32:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife has been teasing me a bit because I've been super emotional since our son was born. I mean, I was always a little more emotional than her, but it's been crazy since he's been born. Reading through this thread made me tear up several times at the thought of any child not knowing that his (or her) parents were reliable and a source of unconditional love. I think that's the bare minimum of what parents owe their children...
The fact that it makes my son "very lucky" or qualifies us as "good people" (as the other reply said) is making me sad all over again.
candletea ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:09:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
AAannnnd this is what I was hoping to see. It's heartbreaking when "I love you no matter what" turns into "I love you when you're the person I want you to be." You're a good, good person. My parents are wonderful, don't get me wrong, but that sentence completely describes my mom. It hurts. When all you want in the world is for someone to accept you for who YOU are and not the idea of who they want you to be, it hurts. Bad. When I have kids, I want them to know that I truly do love them unconditionally. Thank you for being that way. It means more than you know.
Piperplays ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:36:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have no idea how much warmth and optimism open-minded and loving parents like yourselves give me. Admittedly a little jealous but it is far overshadowed by the good.
sunnydownsouth ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:34:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I honestly think they were trying to mean it. I heard that all through childhood too. I'm not too sure about my sexuality yet but my parents think I'm blind straight. However, I know it would be a problem for them, even if they don't want it to be.
Just another thought: whenever I tell people I don't want kids they get unreasonably angry. Normal, nice people, start telling me they hope I get a surprise unwanted child. They're doing this because they think I'm attacking their way of life, or what they envision for themselves. So when people freak out because you're gay, it might be that same thing. They feel like you're attacking their lifestyle.
Hope my rambling helped. Internet hugs!
mirshe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:24:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think Mom knows I'm gay, and I know she'd support me if I came out. Dad likely would too, but he's a little more religious, and a lot stronger on the "I accept it, but I don't have to like it" thing.
Kate2point718 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:00:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh. :(
I asked my mom once how she would react if one of her kids were gay, and she refused to answer, just saying that God wouldn't do that to her.
wetwater ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:06:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At 14 I tried to tell my mother I'm gay. As soon as the topic of gay people came up I got a long, angry lecture that if I or my brother were gay we'd be thrown out of the house, disowned, and not allowed to ever come back.
28 years later she still doesn't know, and she's just as homophobic as before, and my father has somehow managed to increase his homophobia.
TheLazyProjector ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:56:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:(
NotThisFucker ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:04:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"But mom, I'm straight..."
"Corollary time: I'll love you only if you're gay."
Shemhazaih ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:04:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You okay?
AndGraceToo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:07:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, honey. :(
eseehcsahi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom never even said this. To be honest I don't know if she would still love me if I came out to her.
poeandfinn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That one hits close
Piperplays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hugs mate.
sawhill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
<3
blandarchy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:( I'll love you!
topaz-colite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry mate. I understand your feels.
ademnus ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:00:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah. Mine meant it. ;)
anzallos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:39:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude.
ademnus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:21:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What? I'm gay, mom said she'd love me no matter what, and she always did.
If folks want to downvote that and "dude" me, frankly? They can go fuck themselves.
anzallos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The point is that the OP is implying that his mom doesn't love him for who he is. You're coming across as saying "Haha, my mom loves me, sucks that yours doesn't :)"
tl;dr You're acting like an ass
ademnus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oooooh honestly? I didn't see it that way. If that's so, I'm sorry.
anzallos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd accept your apology, but it isn't really my place to do so
ademnus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you sure made with "asshole" on your own authority ;p
Anyway, half these comments are bogus, probably because there's no serious tag. I didn't take it as a personal account but I agree it could be.
Mastr_Blastr ยท 145 points ยท Posted at 14:40:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you be nice to ppl, they'll be nice to you.
That's a big ol' NOPE, good buddy.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:13:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Should've been "there is value in being nice to people even when they aren't nice back."
Mastr_Blastr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:18:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, but the truth is that ppl are really complicated, much more complicated than the simplistic lie my mom told (with good intent).
There are many and varied motivations for someone's actions. "Because you were nice to them" is one of them. That ain't the entire list, tho'.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:28:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know where you live, but where I live this is true and applies to 99% of people. Don't let that other 1% bum you out too much, they're probably just broken and sad inside.
4thaccount_heyooo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:49:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Polite is not the same as nice. The person who'd smile in your face would also stick a knife in your back if it helped them get ahead. Buncha crabs out there.
NR258Y ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:58:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my God, who shit in your cereal? Im with Data, most people return in kind.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:00:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if that's your view of people then I have a hard time imagining you being genuinely nice to others, and if that's the case then that shines through and people will treat you exactly the same way back.
That or you're spending a lot with that 1%. (or you are that 1 %)
Tahmatoes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:19:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Something something shit under their shoe.
Be_Kind_To_Everybody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I agree :)
UtahStateAgnostics ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:11:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
gollum, gollum
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:45:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She just forgot to tell you the rest of it: "...and if they don't, they're jerks."
Vanetia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
60% of the time it works every time
Zassasaurus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like that is true in a sense, I mean at the very least if you are a dick to people they will be a dick to you is true
pxerz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you're not actually being nice and just think that you are.
Except for bullies while you're still in high school and below. Being nice to them probably won't help.
Caesrius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Defusing bullies with kindness is entirely possible.
It's a dang difficult, years-long process, but it's possible.
demonkadar ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 13:29:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Easter bunny, Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy.
fuzzipoo ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 14:18:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tooth fairy made me chuckle... I woke up while my mom was putting money under my pillow. She had a "deer in headlights" look on her face...
But I still believed in Santa and the Easter Bunny for a while after. I can be a little slow sometimes...
the_micked_kettle1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:31:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom and step dad work fucking artists with that tooth fairy shit. They somehow managed to pull my pillow out from under my head and replace it with $10 in pennies.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:55:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:09:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom made a special pillow to set next to the bed. There was a little pocket for the tooth and the money. Never realized until now it was just to make life easier.
MHG73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The our dentist gave us boxes like this and we'd put the tooth in the box, and put the box on the night stand. My parents just took the box and replaced it with money or little toys.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:22:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol. i didnt completly think that the tooth fairy was real, so i setup a hidden camera in my wardrobe.
the_micked_kettle1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's... extensive.
Vanetia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! I caught my parents stuffing the stocking when I was 4 (they didn't know, I had crept out to the living room because I heard "Santa" and then realized what was happening and crept back to bed so they wouldn't feel bad about ruining my childhood)
And yet I still believed in the tooth fairy for a few more years.
ademnus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom was not on board with the Easter bunny. She did the tooth fairy thing and was all for the Santa Claus deception -but on Easter she made sure you knew the chocolate was from her and not some rabbit.
LifeOfTheUnparty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I figured out the tooth fairy first and the rest came after that. Easter was the nearest holiday and I was worried I wouldn't get any more candy because I knew.
I still did! I still do to this day actually, my mom is great :)
dizzi800 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For me it was when my tooth fell out in a parking lot and my mom pulls out a loonie and goes "Here" ha ha ha
theParthenon1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actively trapped the "tooth fairy"
It was fucking hilarious
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god please tell the stories
wooptyfrickindoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly how I found out it wasn't real. Woke up with my dad with like his whole arm under my pillow just staring at me like "Oh.... well shit."
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:38:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
serventofgaben ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:19:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
what age was he when that happened?
verendas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lost first tooth? Probably 3-5
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:45:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
serventofgaben ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:46:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
holy shit your son is a genius. he's just 6 and he can see straight through all that shit? impressive. what does he think of religion? does he think that God is real?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:49:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
serventofgaben ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:45:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
interesting. i think he's going to be an atheist.
wtfduud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seems a bit weird to me that he'd be so skeptical of the tooth fairy and santa but instantly accept god as real.
Autarch_Kade ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:44:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
DodoDude700 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stole my mom's iPhone when I was about 8 or 9 and googled Santa Claus. I was almost certain by that point that it was garbage, but I was worried that they may have put something on my own PC that would tell me otherwise. Now I know my dad's a computer privacy geek who would never do that.
Also, my parents briefly tried to use some sort of weird web censorship software on my computer. I knew where the XP install discs were.
fartygrandma ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 13:20:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're so pretty!"
pixelatedcombustion ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:45:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum never said this. I had shitty body image for years.
ALittleFishNamedOzil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom said this, i didn't buy it.
We all think we're ugly apparently
desertravenwy ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:54:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you keep making that face it'll stick like that.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:11:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think this actually means that if you stay in a bad mood it'll become permanent.
IONASPHERE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember Russell Howard making a joke about his brother making a comeback to that, saying 'Is that what happened to you then?'
ShinjoB ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:17:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a dad but my biggest lie is acting like I know what the hell I'm doing.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:31:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom checking in, I have literally no idea what I am doing.
StoneSoul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Amen
-Swiftie- ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:11:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I have read and agreed to the Terms and Conditions."
angelicable ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 15:17:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll keep that one hundred dollar safe for you.
Fuck you mom, it's been eight years and I still haven't seen a dime
The_professor053 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:01:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Mum would say that when ever I got money since I was 5. When I turned 13 my Mum handed me a couple hundred pounds in a roll and said "Here you go. Are you glad I didn't let you spend it all on sweets."
misslilitheredhead ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:49:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Props to my mom for letting me keep the hundred bucks I got from my dad (the only money we got from him for a few years) and letting me spend it on manga despite the fact that we desperately needed money. She's a wonderful mom.
Cummingtoniteite ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 15:36:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Girls don't care about money or looks"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If she shows interest in you, she's not the right kind of girl".
dankthewank ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:56:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Girls like cars and money.
And looks too. Lol.
Ubername_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:06:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seems to me it's all they care about...
Andrewf289 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:54:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/niceguys
overbend ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 16:03:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't touch that baby bird, the mama bird will abandon it if it smells like you."
No, that's not true, although after several generations of moms telling this to their kids most people probably believe it. Really, moms just started saying this so their kids wouldn't touch a dirty (and possibly sick) bird because birds carry disease.
pivotraze ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:03:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always told me that, but until I read this comment I never put that together...
overbend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, my mom always told me that too because she believed it. Then when I got older a teacher or professor mentioned that it was a myth so I did some research.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Source? I've seen birds that have been abandoned.
overbend ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:56:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/fact-or-fiction-birds-abandon-young-at-human-touch/
http://www.livescience.com/33620-baby-bird-touch-mother-abandon.html
http://www.birds.cornell.edu/AllAboutBirds/attracting/challenges/orphaned/document_view
I've seen abandoned baby birds too, but they were probably sick and/or the mom had died. When I was little I saw a baby bird that was kicked out of its nest because it was born without legs.
IONASPHERE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:07:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Harsh
Ar_Ciel ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:05:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not drunk."
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:32:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:35:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What an actual cunt...
noSoRandomGuy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:05:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where are you located? I really doubt people can sell house so surreptitiously.
GoredonTheDestroyer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:42:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who the fuck takes the light bulbs?!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gg
scottishdrunkard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How's your father doing now?
_gina_marie_ ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:17:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No I'm not mad at you"
MichaelDTresvant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:43:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Gf's favorite line
sweadle ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:56:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll be off the phone in one second"
lark83 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:40:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair I agree this is a lie, but why in hell do you have to pester me when I am on the phone? Seriously, hours can go by with you sucked into your stupid game and then, BAM, phone rings and it is mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom!
Kurlando ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:11:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Common maybe not, but it was a huge shock for me.
When I was 3 my pacifier suddenly had a hole in it. Mom told me it got ripped in the dishwasher.
My sister, ten years younger than me, suffered the same misfortune when she was 3. This time, however, I watched my mom cut the pacifier with scissors. The betrayal was so deep.
RichardDoggins ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:58:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you don't stop masturbating in the living room, I'll install hidden cameras and show the videos to your friends."
TheSoundOfTastyYum ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:07:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this is a pretty uncommon one
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:34:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
and a smart thing to actually scare your kid...
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:11:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
RecycledEternity ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:05:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The fuck kinda childhood did you have?
Also.. what was the aftermath of this story?
IONASPHERE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OP was clearly kidnapped.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:19:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The lies of the mother run deep.
1) That her kids aren't as ugly as sin. They are.
2) That she's only acting in her childrens' best interest. She's not; she's acting in her best interest. It just so happens that her interests largely align with those of her brood until they start to get their own interests, then all hell breaks loose.
3) That she knows best what to do, etc. She's a clueless child who had her own kids in an attempt to shortcut her way to adulthood and you can see evidence for this in every corner of your childhood home.
Wait... we were talking about our mothers, right? Not mothers in general?
Hm...
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 16:11:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I forgot." When you ask them to get something you want from the store.
TheSlothFather ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tbf, they probably did. I know my family has terrible memory; I was talking to my brother yesterday on the phone and he says he has to go to the bathroom and he'll call me back, he didn't call back.
WongSlong ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 15:21:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My mon always told me that they found me in the trash can or the mailman dropped me off on their doorsteps.
If this gets upvoted, I will know I wasn't the only one.
Edit: I wasn't alone.
holycowpinkmilk ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:10:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was a puppy that turned into a baby. My brother was an alien. My youngest bro hatched from a soccer ball. My sister was an a cabbage patch kid.
We knew how babies werent made this way, but we got a HUGE kick out of the stuff mom made up.
I did think you could buy a baby at Kroger for a whilw though because of the huge baby displays they had.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:41:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it's ok, my dad always told me he shit me out one day. when I was little I actually contemplated it.. you can probably guess how my mother reacted when she found out I was going around school telling kids that my dad took a huge poop and found me in the toilet when I was a baby lol
CarlingAcademy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:15:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In Scandinavia there is this old story about trolls living in the woods that would kidnap baby princesses and replace them with their own troll babies, my sister had me believe I was a troll baby for so many years and my mother usually just went along with it saying she took me to the doctor when I was a baby to surgically remove my tail and such. It really messed with my head even if I can laugh about it now.
sawicki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother would tell me that she found me in a cabbage patch...
TheWizardofEws ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Upvoted you, but for me it was my older brother.
The stork dropped me off, mailman's eyes, they found me in a Kmart Blue-Light Special aisle...
momoster96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
read this in a Jamaican accent
Dont_Tellem ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:06:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom made a joke once saying that if I ate the crust on bread it would make me grow chest hair.
I'm a girl. I still don't eat crust to this day, it's not worth the risk!
jasmine_tea_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:43:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
whut
Dont_Tellem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was evil
reinwall ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 12:43:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll be there for the PTA meeting"
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:31:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aw this one made me feel things :(
KidPrince ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was on the fundraising board for everything my sister liked, brought back the entire sports program at my sisters school so she could play volleyball, and yet she couldn't do anything for my interests, and when I confronted her, she acted like she did the things for my sister for me. "You love volleyball!". I can't stand vollyeball, and I don't enjoy sports but I sure would have loved some science fundraising.
gabriot ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:00:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're beautiful/handsom" statistically probably the most common lie told by mothers
Ubername_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:11:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: Why don't you have a pretty girlfriend yet? Me: I have severe depression, am antisocial, and have pretty much zero charm or sense of humor. Mom: Don't say that! hot, female cheer captain walks by in yoga pants (mom yells) MY SON IS SINGLE AND HANDSOME AND CHARMING AND LOVES WOMEN LIKE YOURSELF Me: attempts to hide behind behind the cash register in grocery store
gene1113 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:57:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's because to your mom, you are. I think my one nephew was hit with the ugly stick (still love the kid but he's really ackward looking) and my SIL says he's the most handsome thing ever and posts a ton of Facebook pbotos.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone mom believes their children are beautiful, especially when they are little.
Xydos ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:07:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: Can I get thing?
Mom: I'll think about it.
proceeds to not acknowledge thing for the rest of my life in hope of you not remembering that you want thing
tupungato ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:18:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sweetie, this mustache only makes you unique! Boys love unique girls.
Cannelle ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:25:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe."
It means no.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:31:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably means yes, maybe means no
eatricedrinktea ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:01:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If I had to wake up at 7:30 to go to school, my mom would come into my room at 7:00 and flick on and off the lights over and over telling me it's time to get up. Pissed me off to no end. I would just stay in bed just to spite her because I was so mad at the way she woke me up.
I tried telling her, wake me up gently and tell me the exact time and I'll get up on time but she never listened.
Sonja_Blu ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:03:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum used to open the door so the dog would jump on me. Good morning! But then she made me cinnamon buns so it was all good.
pompusham ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had the same problem in middle school. I solved it by refusing to go to school that day... Yes I know I was a little shit.
BigDonkJensen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do we have the same mom?!
vengeance_pigeon ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 15:48:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Starving children in Africa don't want those overboiled gray green beans any more than I do.
Sure, they might EAT them because people will eat much worse in dire circumstances. But they won't WANT them. It'd be purely an act of necessity.
Brawndo_ ยท 101 points ยท Posted at 12:44:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
''Your a retard'' my mom
[deleted] ยท 332 points ยท Posted at 12:47:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh the irony.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 14:38:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Son of a bitch!" his mom
palordrolap ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:31:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"She makes me press my own shirts."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, they're much higher quality than the B or C retards.
Nofgob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess his username fits.
just_had_2_comment ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wait....you cant understand what was meant?
slow_drip ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:56:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
YOU'RE How is this a lie?
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 12:46:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 13:05:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ruined u/syn_er 's comment, welldone.
Springheeljac ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:38:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You sure it isn't a retard that belongs to him?
PM_Me_Things_Yo_Like ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 13:12:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They're
Ubername_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I reply "okay yes, if anyone I should believe you" she grounds me for acting retarded, refuses to get any medical evidence of my retardation and requires 4.0 grades from me. And if I forgot to do the dishes blaming my "retardation" gets me in trouble. But she's allowed to vent and call me a retard whenever she forgets a grocery. Because that's "my fault"
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:07:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's got what plants crave
TheCooz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:49:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Upgrayedd gonna get his money
PM_ME_UR_WEIRD_HOBBY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well... username checks out.
letmereaddamnit ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
are you sure she didn't say redditor? not that it matters, same thing really.
An0therB ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:38:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"are you sure she didn't say redditor? not that it matters, same thing really."
-Redditor /u/letmereaddamnit
letmereaddamnit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:17:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats the joke.
figgy_puddin ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 13:30:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're not fat! You're just...husky."
Kendo16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
applies lotion
jacopodepazzi ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 16:15:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jewish mothers often tell their children that they can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery if they have tattoos. The look on my mom's face when I asked our rabbi and he said "no, you'd still be fine" was priceless.
TonySoprano420 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:56:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Leviticus 19 : 28
jacopodepazzi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:36:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right, but it doesn't say nor necessitate the loss of burial privileges, just that it is an act against god. The rest is assumed because of that, and so most cemeteries don't really mind - though there are some that do refuse to bury tattooed or pierced bodies among their own. It's certainly not universal.
HorseSteroids ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:09:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The funeral home will burn them off for you with acid.
RecycledEternity ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:52:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh! Good to know. Although... I'd want my (eventual) tattoo to be removed, cured, and framed for posterity.
IrisSeraph ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:57:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out?
OpalMagnus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:21 on August 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But I thought bodies couldn't be/shouldn't be mutilated after death and that's why Jewish people don't allow embalming?
HardcoreSunday ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:41:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are the smartest kid your age" :c
pepperbell ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:05:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You need to eat the crust on the bread because it has all the vitamins and minerals in it."
kazfiel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
The crust is better for you than the soft part actually.
Sure, downvote me. Research would like a word with you.
www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2002/11/021105080817.htm
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This guy had a mom.
kazfiel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:38:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Date: November 5, 2002 Source: American Chemical Society Summary: The best thing since sliced bread may be bread crust: Researchers in Germany have discovered that the crust is a rich source of antioxidants and may provide a much stronger health benefit than the rest of the bread.
American Chemical Society. "Bread Crust And Stuffing Rich In Healthy Antioxidants." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 5 November 2002. <www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2002/11/021105080817.htm>.
There you go.
I got downvoted because I was right. Yay.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't upvote or downvote you, I just said you had a mom :S
pepperbell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wait, what? how?
(nice try, mom)
kazfiel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
added the research done on it.
I remembered it from a few years ago. Baking it apparently pushed certain nutrients outside or traps them outside or something. The crust has more vitamins/minerals and antioxidants than the rest of the bread.
Not sure if this goes for every kind of bread, but I know it does for sourdough.
DDRDiesel ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:29:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Just ignore the bullies and they'll go away"
No they fucking won't. You just make yourself the perfect target for said bully, and everything becomes that much worse. Take your kid to some self-defense classes and teach them to stick up for themselves. Don't let yourself be a victim
RecycledEternity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then LET them stick up for themselves. Self-defense is nothing when you are told not to use it--or worse, actively get in trouble for it.
Source: me.
CrazyCoKids ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Self defence won't work either. Unless you manage to beat their asses so much they be one afraid of you.
That is what gets through their heads. Violence and pain.
bulsk ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 13:37:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you don't put a coat on, you'll catch a cold"
MuonManLaserJab ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 15:14:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's more of an error than a lie.
janisaf5 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:14:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
After a while, that one became "if you don't put a coat on, I'll have to watch you shiver and I will feel cold."
Lostsonofpluto ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:24:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, if you don't wear a jacket, you're more likely to spend time inside, where you're more likely to actually catch a cold
Serverindisguise ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:52:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Food for thought... During cold weather, bacteria finds its way inside to stay warm. When you go outside in the cold without a coat, your blood vessels constrict, making it difficult or impossible for white blood cells to travel through your bloodstream to fight the bacteria. So when you go inside, where you are exposed to all the bacteria in your warm house, your white blood cells can't fight it off as easily, resulting in you getting sick.
So being cold doesn't directly make you sick. Being cold and then immediately going inside does.
wtfduud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess being cold makes your nose more runny, so it's easy to see why people correlate cold to cold.
thefrostyhalf ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:31:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't pick your nose. It's not polite.
1) It's learned behavior, so moms (and 91% of other humans who aren't liars) do it too.
2) It's one of the simple pleasures in life.
leihto_potato ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:49:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think those points change the fact it really is impolite to pick your nose, at least in public anyways...
thefrostyhalf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:41 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Please give me your reasoning on this. And what does impolite mean? I think it's impolite if you flick them, yeah. But the extraction hurts no one. It's just like picking your teeth, etc. I have been with people that LOST IT on the subway about how rude someone picking their teeth was. I'm just not sure why.
Know what's worse? The dick that sits next to you sniffling and doing facial contortions instead of relieving themselves.
just_had_2_comment ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
according to who?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, don't pick it while grandma is talking to you.
creditcardpie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is absolutely not a learned behavior...Babies learn that their fingers fit up there not long after they discover how to make their fingers go where they want them to. It's a fine motor skill.
I literally only pick my nose when I'm sitting on the toilet peeing so I can wipe it on toilet paper and wash my hands after. I was not one of those moms who brought their baby in the bathroom with them. Kid figured out nose picking at about ~9 months old.
Converd ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:47:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The family dog went to a farm.
RamblyJambly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grew up on farm, your dog was either accidentally shot by hunters, got hit by a car, ate pesticides, or just outright ran away
dankthewank ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:59:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The farm of death?
noSoRandomGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
rendering farm.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:25:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll always be here for you"
Belboz99 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:33:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This... right here.
It doesn't even matter their intentions, their actions, or inaction... someday they will leave you. It's not even up to them whether they stay or go. You might as well be saying "I'm going to live to be 200". No, you're not... you're just kidding yourself, and those around you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, don't cut the onions yet
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised someone even saw my comment...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:43:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents just turned 60. My mom has cardiac problems. I'm stressing over this one, hard.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry to hear that. If I could be of any help, please say so.
alblaster ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:45:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll get you to X on time. My mom was chronically late to everything to the point where my brother would lie about needing to be somewhere 30min early just so he would arrive on time.
Ubername_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was sixteen, I'd started doing the same thing.
Ohsojme ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:46:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Mom told me that Jesus left some babies in the sun too long and that's why some kids are really dark. She still thinks it's hilarious.
jbirdues ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:04:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"My uterus will fall out if you don't carry this basket of clothes up the stairs for me"
Freaked me and my brothers out the first time we heard that, looking back it's hilarious.
Dicecard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Brvtal
MyBobaFetish ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:52:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Online it's "MY kids would never do that because I raised them better," usually after a tragedy where a kid dies, or is lost, or whatever.
whisperedkiss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a psychological defense mechanism. They don't want to think it could happen to them
MyBobaFetish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I absolutely agree. I was just making that point to a friend, actually.
ImaginaryAI ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:56:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Girls love sensitive and shy boys.
Hydraslaught ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:37:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, some do.
Lillie_Rayne ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 13:35:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want to be."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The sentiment is mostly true. What they don't tell you is that it's agonizingly difficult to make it a reality.
endershadow98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I must be the exception then. So far it's been pretty easy.
brokenha_lo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This.
manchegoo ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:58:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not your fault daddy and I are getting a divorce.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:48:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Never got this one. Like, it isn't your fault. You were born, did baby stuff, then did children stuff. Ubless you were literally Hitler from the get go, how could it possibly be the child's fault?
Ibbot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:36 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When children are really young, they see the world as centered around them, and the things that happen in a lense of how it relates to them. That makes it really easy for them to take a large negative change in their life and think that it was somehow caused by them, whether it makes any sense or not.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:02:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But he was saying that the parents were lying when they were saying 'it's not your fault'.
Ibbot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:30:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, nevermind then. He was probably trying to be "edgy".
irishmickguard ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:00:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Well done"
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:51:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
1) I just need a loaf of bread from the grocery store. 2) Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy.
Ubername_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:00:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That irony ๐
JehBear ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:47:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We can't get a dog because I'm allergic to them."
Hyp3rwolfies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom said I'm not responsible, well she is right
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:11:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"just be yourself, that's what girls like,"
Fucking lol
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if you're Chris Hemsworth
Culveys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:19:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then Reddit was created and the rest is history.
EnVeeZy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:29:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You'll understand when you're older"
I still don't understand shit.
RecycledEternity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Youtube, bruh. The truth will set you free.
Adamsandlersshorts ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:02:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's just baby fat"
My mom when I was 16.
the_recreater ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:34:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"When your father gets home we're going to have a serious talk about this."
Dad comes home- too tired to care
sauerpatchkid ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:49:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry. I can't find (insert annoying toy). It must be lost.
Almighty_Satan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:55:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Trust me, it won't hurt a bit."
alanmagid ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:07:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want to be.
zachwilson23 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:46:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:58:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa isn't real. Mum I might be 20 but I'm not stupid, who else delivers my presents every Christmas??
RecycledEternity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
UPS/FedEx/DHL/USPS.
HeroicJobCreator ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:33:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're such a sweet boy. What a good child"
I noticed my nephew is always getting showered with these compliments by the women in the family and it made me remember how much used to I hear it too. I was not a good kid. Realized in my 30's it's conditioning to instill a sense of shame for acting bad.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:20:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You keep touching it you go blind!" Jokes on you mom! I jack off at least four times a day and all I got going on are glasses.
ALittleFishNamedOzil ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
inb4 OP's dick falls off
HydroPpar ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:25:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh you're so handsome son" that explains the line of women waiting to get with me, wait what women? must be a lie.
MDev01 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:29:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife would told our son that the ice cream truck was a music truck. After a few summers he wanted to know why the "Music Truck" was giving out ice cream.
He is in medical school now so maybe there is still hope.
edit: We are helping with tuition with the money we saved.
NewMunster ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:57:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're handsome".
Fuck off. You gave me the ugly.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:45:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
gotdammgoblin ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:14:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dad, I'm over here. "
ALittleFishNamedOzil ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:23:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you have really bad aim, or really good aim
Frankear ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:54:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum and her friends would always say "oh he's so handsome, there'll be girls lining up round the block"
golfing_furry ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:12:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Take it up with the cougar friends of your mum then. Or 'break' both your arms. Whatever you're into
delorean225 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:33:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmother has long joked about my various girlfriends because when I was in first grade I had a - very public - crush on a girl in my class. Yeah, I'm no closer to a relationship now than I was then.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, used to fucking hate it when that happened, especially since it's so obviously untrue.
ALittleFishNamedOzil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to tell me people would stop and ask her if i was ''an irish prince'', i never looked ''irish'' and i later found out Ireland didn't have any princes so WTF MOM
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:40:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
RecycledEternity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:55:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who's seen Rapunzel knows this well.
repodude ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:53:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To Dad: "Yes, we will still have a sex life".
DarrylKerrigan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:31:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'The pork wont be dry this time'
jack0rias ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Inappropriate mother
PhilMatey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Omg so much fucking this.
TytusMagnificus ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:59:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything will be fine honey" No it won't!...I'm still falling for that bullshit.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:59:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate that one so much.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Edgy
paulvs88 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:51:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's all politics. You should have made the team, married that model and became president"
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:30:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"That's nice, dear".
holytrolls ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:33:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Go sit in the car, I'll be out in a minute."
We're not leaving you liar. Yore talking to my babysitter for another 45 minutes god dammit.
Ubername_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait you're leaving with your parents so you wait in the car, but the babysitter is left at the house....?
Jesse1198 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid, my mom dropped me off at my babysitters house before work in the morning, then picked me up after work. Probably similar for OP.
BillyPK ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:45:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"The school only allows 5th graders to play the drums, unless you've taken prior drum lessons...sorry!"
MMTKK ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:12:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"One more bite and you can be done eating."
TheSuperlativ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:24:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"They're just jealous of you"
frossenkjerte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
theyhateuscuztheyanus
demilitarizdsm ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:31:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Because I said so"
Verbalizing might vibrate atoms but I didn't get ice cream before breakfast because of lack of courage. Any mothers out there just lean over and say to their kids "Because you don't have the balls to defy me little man?" How'd that kid turn out?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:59:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:59:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Jesse1198 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:47:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You sound like a good parent.
disco-vorcha ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:07:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents were like this too. They taught me to value honesty and did so by not lying to me about stuff. Even things like Santa, they never said Santa was real, it was just a fun thing to do at Christmas (so yeah, I was 'that kid' that told all the other kids that Santa wasn't real haha). They're not perfect parents but in this case they got it right, imo.
robbie0630 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What about doing it?
BMWbill ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:58:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Its fine. I won't get pregnant!"
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:50:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CpQvHdrWAAUCSlS.jpg:large
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:23:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wat
BMWbill ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:46:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that is the first lie that mothers tell! Get it? BEFORE they are mothers?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:56:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, I thought he broke his arms
MrGerbz ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:30:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me when I was 6: "You're not going to die, right mommy?"
Mom: "Of course not honey, don't be silly!"
Last time I saw her laugh, about half a week before her death in 1993. Technically not a lie, but try explaining that to a 6 year old kid.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:42:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This got depressing real fast D:
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:24:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry for your loss.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:40:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ubername_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:57:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
NO MOM, YOU BARELY KNEW insert name of ex LET ALONE LOVED HER! I THINK LOSING MY YEAR AND A HALF RELATIONSHIP WAS A LOT WORSE FOR ME! /vent\
RecycledEternity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:02:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"On the contrary, father," I thought as the blows came rolling in. "You are the one actively whupping my ass."
cloud3321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It actually does, it actually does.....
Dr_Chappy13 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:29:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Put your pants back on before someone steals your willy.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:08:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What? Am I weird, or is it common outside of
best koreaCanada?Dr_Chappy13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:16:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's pretty common over here in Scotland, along with "don't play with your belly button, if you undo that your arse will fall off".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, Doctor Chappy, I have heard about the symptom you just mentioned.
Dr_Chappy13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:31:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also, "eat your breadcrusts, they'll put hair on your chest/you'll get pretty curls" depending on whether you're male or female.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:53:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep Doctor, heard that too. Just the willy snatching sounds odd to one from
best koreaCanadaDr_Chappy13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, we Scots had to come up with something ever since hitting a child was frowned upon. Even then we had weird sayings.
"Dad, can I get a new bike?" "BIKE, I'LL FUCKING GIE YEH BIKE, AH'LL FUCKIN' BIKE YOU THE NOW YA WEE FANNY".
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:59:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In response to me making funny faces, "Keep that up and your face will be stuck like that forever."
Ryaven ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:59:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There isn't any (cookies, etc etc) left
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:59:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You will go blind if you keep playing with it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
a weiner?
Hyp3rwolfies ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:20:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You will if it's a computer
BartManCometh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:09:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you both equally..
cubervic ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:10:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you do something the mom doesn't want happening, the cops will come to get you!"
missbeaverhausen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:55:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This has got to be one of the worst ones. It teaches children to be afraid of police officers instead of seeing them as safe adults they can turn to if they need help. :/
rac_shack ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:09:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I didn't drink until I was 21 and neither should you"
Loncend1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:31:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're special"
eenergabeener ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:31:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Get out of bed now it's 9:00 we're going to be late!!!" When in fact it is only like 8:15.
RecycledEternity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same for: going to the movie theater an hour early, going to the airport (pre-TSA) two hours early, going to a party (or some event) a half-hour early...
Fizzlinq ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:40:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That when I was 7 and wanted the YMCA theme song played repeatedly on the way back home from getting my brother from his babysitter, that she couldn't play the song because it wasn't on the radio yet. It was on a CD, of course.
LostByMonsters ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:42:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're a handsome boy.
poetu ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:45:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We have food at home"
BigVanVortex ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:26:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course you were planned!
captnfirepants ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:46:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The music plays on the ice cream truck when they're out of ice cream.
We took your dog to live on a farm up north.
Officer_Coldhonkey ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:03:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll see.."
Denascite ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:35:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I've got an eye on the back of my head"
sexychickenlips ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:50:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a mother, I'll tell you why I say "maybe or later" when I want to really say no. If I tell my son a flat out "no", it becomes an issue. "You always say no", this goes on and on and then we end up in an argument because all of the sudden he's pouting and rolling his eyes and this almost always occurs out in public (where I can't act like a real mother). So, we'll see or maybe prevents the madness temporarily. Also, sometimes I have a tendency to say no, no matter what, because I'm busy, or just out of touch at the moment, so I use maybe for more time to think about it. I know if it's something he really wants to do, and it's reasonable, more than likely I'll agree eventually, but I also like him to plead his case. That is an invaluable skill in the real world. I want him to be able to keep going so he doesn't just give up or feel defeated. I'm training him to be a strong minded, but respective human being.
ItsAkaneOwari ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:10:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Tell me the truth and I won't get mad"
Megazone_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This one is the golden one
Mijam7 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:33:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favorite child. You are all my favorites."
plax1780 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:07:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can drive the car and don't worry about putting gas in it"
The_Blue_Lamp999 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:22:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'That's the Policeman/Woman (whilst pointing) they will take you away when you are naughty and don't do as Mummy/Daddy says.....' - 1) That is not correct, "Timmy" is 4 years old. 2) Do you really want "Timmy" to run away from the Police when he is lost? This is my number one pet hate!
Galfonz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately 2 probably depends on what color Timmy is?
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:36:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
CiT1ZeNPaiN ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:42:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
C'mon mannnn
FlamingArmor ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:09:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cum on man?
Ubername_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:50:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't cum on other men without their permission. It's apparently a crime
holy_black_on_a_popo ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:05:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's your baby."
PM-me-your-downvotes ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:02:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Special "Alone time"
blablablaudia ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:38:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom loves her "proven facts". Fact 1: "It is a proven fact that every Italian man cheats on his wife." Fact 2: "It is also proven that Greek men are worse" Fact 3: "You'll only have friends if you're an athlete" Fact 4: "Being born in America makes you white. Unless your black."
GiveEmHell1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:52:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're great and anyone would be lucky to have you."
Caesrius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No I'm not just biased because I'm your mother.
superniceguyOKAY ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:43:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Eat your crusts, they will make you taller." So much bread wasted...
badf1nger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:43:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Respect me or you'll go to hell".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wew lad
mattdan79 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:45:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"just one more thing"
Mallow-kun ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:57:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not trying to control you"
bwaredapenguin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:38:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want to be.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:42:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I sexually identify as an attack helicopter.
manrealityisabitch ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:40:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want when you grow up.
KidOyom ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:42:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll tell dad
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:44:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me I was deathly allergic to cigarettes, never smoked a day in my life and am at the age now when I have no desire to ever start.
Partytime_Penguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was also told this lie. I thought I was the only one
ShmuckDestroyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was told this so I smoked one just to see if it was true
Hyp3rwolfies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:36 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She saved you from gum diesese tho
Balind ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:45:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll pay the money back, promise"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
still not seen that 50 quid you owe me.
Balind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother owes me about $4000-5000.
maiomonster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:11:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That she loves you all equally. Source: the meme above this on the front page.
stupornatural ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:32:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're not ugly. You're a handsome young man. Any smart woman would be lucky to have you.
ridavis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:33:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything will be alright.
Antoinette_1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:48:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll See" means no lol
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:53:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you keep playing with it, it will fall off
williamj2543 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:54:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Genius
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:04:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We're leaving soon" YOU SAID THAT 3 GODDAMN HOURS AGO
dinomummy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:18:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The parents of a friend of mine always made sure the kids never saw sweets in their bags or wrappers when they were little- they'd be given a little bowl of sweets or whatever - so the kids didn't recognise the bags on the sweets section of the supermarket and never bugged them for sweets while shopping.
geten23 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:20:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're not fat you're just big boned
323445 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:58:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're fat, sorry
PoppetFFN ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:33:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa.
-SpittingVenom- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:19:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything is going to be alright
RefriedJean ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:05:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Any woman would be lucky to have you. You'll find her one day sweetie!
Darloboy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:22:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If the wind changes your face will stay like that!
ihatebeingblack27 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:31:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just be yourself and she'll like you for who you are
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:01:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm both only 17 and almost 20...
commiessuck ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:25:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not really on topic, since I'm sure it's not a common lie, and it was my dad, but i thought I'd share anyway.
My dad took my three older sisters and me (his 7/8 year old son) out arrowhead hunting one spring day on his old stopping grounds.
After an eternity of searching (maybe an hour), all of my sisters have found arrowheads.
Not me.
Discouraged, i slumped to the ground in defeat. My dad, who is just a few feet away, says "i think this is a really good spot to look over here". So i dragged myself over to where he was, and looked.
I'll be damned if wasn't a goddang arrowhead setting neatly on top of the sand. I found one!
Turns out that my dad had actually found these arrowheads when he was a kid in the same woods we were in, and thought of a clever way to pass them along to us.
I believed that I discovered that arrowhead until well into my twenties.
dekacube ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:43:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can't have the light inside the car on at night, it's illegal.
GoredonTheDestroyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reasoning?
dekacube ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's hard to see out of a car when the inside lights are on.
GoredonTheDestroyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then why not say that? Why put a kid, who has no idea what is or isn't illegal, through something like that?
dekacube ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No idea man, just a thing parents do, a lot of my friends all thought it was illegal too, parents told them the same thing, I didn't really find out it wasn't until was like 23, just kinda forgot about it. It's funny looking back on it, kids are so gullible, and telling us its illegal and they could get a ticket is a quick way to get us to shut-up and do what they say.
pscrilla ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:48:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom Shouts from downstairs
"PSCRILLA! PSCRILLLLLA! PSCRILLLLLLA!!!!!!!"
Me: WHAT? MOM WHATS UP?
MOM
MOM WHAT?
MOM?
MOM WHAT DO YOU NEED
MOM
Runs downstairs
"I dont respond to "what". and it was nothing I just wanted to tell you dinner will be ready soon"
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
eu_comi_o_cu_do_mod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wat
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:27:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Loveyouguysbut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:07:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hope this turned out OK?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:29:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Loveyouguysbut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:15:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's awful. But did you get custody? Personally, I'd just call the police to get them busted every other night and use the facts in court.
babushkaB ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:34:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"My child is much better, their nose isn't even running anymore."
I work in a daycare. 9 out of 10 children have been dosed up with panadol and when 2pm hits, we suddenly have a bunch of runny nosed, coughing kids with temperatures.
TheHashtagHashbrowns ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:34:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ME: Mom I have a headache. MOM: must be from not enough sleep
ME: mom my arm is broken MOM: Not enough sleep
All bullshit
Hunter2o ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:41:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just stay in the car it'll only take me a minute I just go to grab a few things from the store. Comes back an hour later with 40 bags. What the hell ma
skullpocket ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:02:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Here comes the airplane." There's no damn airplane only lies and vegetables.
Canopenerdude ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:56:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just sitting here crying my eyes out because I miss my mom :(
baldsauce ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:06:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: Try it. You might like it! Me: I've tried that before and I hate it. Mom: well maybe you're tastebuds have changed!
arriettr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:04:36 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just going out for a pack of smokes."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:08:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll see"
It translates to "Shut up you'll forget about it in 5 minutes you annoying food to shit conversion machine!"
Sofie_Emilie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:05:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"The battery will last longer if you turn the sound off!" said by my mother while I was playing GameBoy on long car trips.
It was actually really clever. I'm going to use it.
holdstillitsfine ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 12:43:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll love you no matter what
Automan2k ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:43:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I know what's best for my child!"
Usually said when they are being criticized for doing something stupid.
Ubername_ ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No ma'am I'm a doctor and have evidence to back up my statement: giving your children vaccines will not give them autism and will help prevent disease x and y. So, in this case, my twelve years at med school trumps whatever you think is "best for your child"
ElderlyPowerUser ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:16:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't eat your food Santa is going to rape your stuffed animals instead of giving you presents.
๐๏ธ cant_even_such_wow ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:19:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So that's why my teddy bear had a hole in its ass that year...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/relevantusername
42undead2 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:52:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
''You don't have kids, you won't understand!''
FlamingArmor ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:11:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So you have kids then?
42undead2 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:15:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, but most of the times I've heard it said, it was not in some complex situation where really only a mother would understand. Often times it's just the kid(s) is acting like a little prick and trying to help is just met with that.
OrangeKefka ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:10:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I tell people 'my mom thinks I'm cool.' Even I have trouble believing it.
Ubername_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, I can second that
Dick_Burger ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:00:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Parenthood is wonderful." That's not necessarily a lie, but just downright subjective, man.
WingedBeing ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:26:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll always be here."
No, one day you won't be. :/
Mastapizaz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:32:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll never leave you I promise." Dies.
Liar :(
plumber_craic ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 12:59:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"God is watching"
LazyTheSloth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I always stare into the heavens and yell, this is for you God, as I cum.
plumber_craic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Close your eyes man - I've heard it stings.
LazyTheSloth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah it just makes it more intense.
plumber_craic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
salty
LazyTheSloth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Never tasted it.
CommunistEnchilada ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:32:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then I'd better give him the show of a lifetime.
MuonManLaserJab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine said, "Sh! Babies are sleeping!"
xmotorboatmygoatx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha god knows what you've done, and he's absolutely disgusted /s
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:08:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
KAME HEAR TO SAY DIS LEL
GIVEMEFOODD ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:33:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God.
jdloyola ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:31:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So edgy
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:03:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll be okay, its just a cough".
It wasn't until I paid to send her to the doctor that she found out she had late stage lung cancer, and they gave her a year to live. It's been 10 years since she passed away, and I miss her more every single day.
๐๏ธ cant_even_such_wow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:04:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry for your loss man, hope your doing okay now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, honestly it was really hard. My dad took it the hardest, he got remarried right away and moved 800 miles away. Now I have kids of my own, so I tell them about her all the time, still makes me tear up when I think about it. Never forget to tell your parents that you love them, it might just be the last time.
Squeakss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:29:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
๐ Sorry
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 13:18:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You just have to be nice to her, girls love a nice guy!"
Regvlas ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 16:11:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, girls do like nice guys. You just can't have zero qualities other than "nice", because that shit's boring.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:14:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, I completely agree, maybe I should've wrote it like you just have to be nice to her" part.
I didn't mean it like "girls hate nice guys like me and go for assholes".
More that "being nice isn't usually enough to catch a girl's attention, and certainly doesn't entitle you to a woman"
SMURGwastaken ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:24:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I've consistently found that I'm only successful with women when I exclusively and explicitly try for sex. If I try anything else it doesn't work, if I put anything else as a top priority (because frankly for me the companionship aspect is probably just as important if not more so) it doesn't work.
If I start out befriending them, it never goes any further. If I make it clear that I want to date her and take her out a few times, maybe kiss her but take it slow they lose interest (or assume I'm not that interested). The only thing women seem to respond to is guys pursuing them for sex; I then later find myself trying to transition things into a relationship because that's what I was after in the first place - to varying degrees of success. It's not that I have to be an asshole, I'm nice at the same time, I just have to come off like all I want from her is sex even if that's not the case.
I think this is where a lot of the 'nice guy' resentment comes from, a misunderstanding/social construct that pursuing women for sex is somehow a bad thing.
Regvlas ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:22:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, i can get behind that. just seemed a bit red pill-y. We're in agreement, though.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:28:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
tbh once i read your comment i re-read what i originally put, realized that how i worded it made me look like the "wahhh i'm nice and don't have any womyn this is bullshit" type, and got super embarrassed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
happens
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:32:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No lie, I started being more successful with girls as soon as I showed I was willing to walk away from any bullshit they say. It's like they take it as an insult and attach to you. Not that I'm just being an asshole. Just that when you become friends, and a week later they tell some story about an ex or how "x is so unfair" and instead of sucking up to them, you say "I like you more when you're not talking about this".
What mom SHOULD say is "girls like a nice guy that sticks up for himself". But mom doesn't say that because she doesn't want to be reminded how dad didn't play stupid games with her.
mecrosis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And mom doesn't want you sticking up for yourself with her.
eazolan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:50:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Daddy made Mommy his little bitch, and Mommy loved it!
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 13:51:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/NiceGuys is leaking...
triple_skyfall ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:15:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Came here just to find this
el_muerte17 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:49:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Girls don't automatically owe you sex just because you're a nice guy, but most of them do in fact prefer guys who aren't assholes...
BrecSanchez ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I agree as a strait white male,but...
eggbert194 ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 20:10:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But HOES dont...I need a girl tryina put out before the first date.,.
HBWitness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not a lie, they do.
ThtCombatWombat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
tips fedora
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 16:10:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you just love it when she chooses the douchebag over you because nice guys apparently aren't "exciting enough"?
HBWitness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:10:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you sure she didn't pick you because you're clingy and weird?
BrecSanchez ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 19:04:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now I'm a 25 yo guy and I'll be honest I use to be the guy who was nice and not interesting. Now I'm just don't care and tent to be on the rude side and still do the same shit and more women come up to me now than ever. (I don't do shit with that cause I miss my ex and I wanna be the nice guy but only with her) so yeah I hope your right but in my experience it is quite the opposite
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 13:53:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When they go on about how wonderful being a mother is. Bullshit, their lives are a trainwreck of shit, piss, more shit, and no sleep.
alternativespecs ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:30:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But they get to experience the growth of another human being. They created that person and they get to watch them learn and create things and - hopefully - succeed. The humor and milestones of a mother's children are unique and worth the struggles of parenthood. When you are a mother, you get the chance to meet the best, loveliest, brightest person or people the world could ever have. You know they are yours to love for eternity. The trust and need and love they can have on you is the most gentle thing you witness in your life as a mother. There is also the pride in knowing you did a good job when they appreciate you.
Sure, a mother gets a trainwreck of a life for maybe 20 years per kid, but the sake of family and the laughs and the achievements and lessons and memories are a treasure you can enjoy for eternity.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:35:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or just get a dog and get something that loves you without destroying your life to the point you have to lie to yourself just to avoid considering suicide.
Fireproofjeans ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:59:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa there, calm down.
Do you seriously think the vast majority of women voluntarily "destroy their lives"? Suicide rates for new mother's aren't nearly high enough to back up your claim.
The only cases I can see this becoming an issue for is teen pregnancies and already depressed people getting pregnant.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I said they lie to themselves to avoid suicide. As in they don't actually go through with it because they have entrenched themselves in a world of delusion that their lives are totally not in ruins from their bad life choices. So in a way, it's a good thing they lie.
Fireproofjeans ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:16:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They don't have to lie to themselves, raising a kid is immensely rewarding. It's a lot of effort, but every milestone they reach is a milestone for you as well.
Everything you've said here is ridiculously overdramatized and/or factually incorrect. It's a lot of effort, lost sleep, and restricted finances, yes. There are points for and against it - but it's certainly not a "life ruiner" unless you fail to adequately plan for a child... in which case, you've planned to fail.
ProfCunningFox ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:56:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa there
So we're calling getting pregnant this now? Dude... You wouldn't be here if it wasn't for a long line of so called "bad life choices"
hitchcocklikedblonds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:04:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think someone is just shit-posting to get a rise.
Are there unhappy parents or delusional ones? Sure.
But most parents are happy being parents.
And some of us just genuinely like kids. I was an elementary teacher for years before I became a mom.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:04:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an antinatalist too, but good lord, you're just being ridiculous.
alternativespecs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:30:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not every dog is easy to take care of either, Both animals and kids each have different personalities and health conditions; some very easygoing, some very messy, some very aggressive, some very quiet, some very playful, some very intelligent, so on.
Both dogs and kids are mischievous. Both also have bodily excrement.
SirButcher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You enver had a dog, I suppose?
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:41:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
hitchcocklikedblonds ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:03:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I went whole hog. Kid, dog, 2 asshole cats.
It's great. I want some fish now.
aithne1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, that's our plan too. Got a kid and a cat, on the lookout for a dog and planning 2 more kids.
pigsblood4allah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
After I eat your children it will seem like a waste. To me it will be a full belly.
PhilMatey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But the poo tho..
alternativespecs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes you find interesting stuff in it though, to be honest.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:51:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a mother?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:52:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank sweet Jesus I'm not.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then you don't know what their lives are like, don't assume
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have to assume, it's pretty obvious.
DaisyB ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:58:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Before I had my kid, I thought that too. I assumed I would have to grind through the early years to get to the good stuff with science fairs, etc. I was so wrong. It's been awesome from day 1. When I "go on about how wonderful being a mother is" that's me speaking my truth. My toddler daughter is my favorite person. I feel so lucky, and I can't believe I almost missed out on being a parent.
hitchcocklikedblonds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:02:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll readily admit the first year was a nightmarish hell (colic), but even within my zombie year my son was the best thing that ever happened to us.
And now, now it's just outright fucking fun. He's funny. He has brought knock knock jokes back into my life (shit, I didn't even know I was missing them!).
No matter how shitty my day is I come home and this ball of love comes running up yelling, "Mama! I missed you! Let's play King of Tokyo." He loves me more than my dog loves me. And my dog thinks I created bacon and trees. And I love him more than anything I've ever loved in my life.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:01:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kids are toilet trained by age 3 mostly and only usually have trouble sleeping for the first few months to a year. That's hardly a life full of shit and no sleep. You don't get peed on unless you leave a nappy off for too long. You were once a child you know. Is your mother's life full of shit, piss and no sleep?
nimphette ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:01:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LMAO "A FEW MONTHS TO A YEAR" HAHAHAHAHA. Whilst I don't agree with shitheads hate for children/motherhood, whoever told you that was either blessed with a child saint or (more likely) blatantly lying to your face. Kids can have irregular sleeping patterns for years. My brother is three and will still wake up 3-4 times a week in the middle of the night crying for ages. If you have kids please don't go into it expecting your sleep to return to normal after a year.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:20:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well it depends whether you train your kid to sleep at night, my 15 month old has slept 12 hours through the night without waking since he was about 8 weeks old. Obviously some kids refuse to be trained to sleep well but most are able to be and should be.
We didn't do 'cry it out' either, as 8 weeks is far too young for that. We bathed him every night then fed him and put him awake in his cot. If he cried we comforted him and put him back down. If he woke up to eat in the night (obviously before he was 8wks) we would keep it dark, change nappy, feed him, burp him and straight back into he cot after a short cuddle. This taught him that night time was for sleeping. He stopped waking up to eat at 8 weeks old and now he goes to sleep at half 7pm and wakes up around 8am. I believe that if you really want a good sleeping baby you have to give them a good night routine and teach them. Obviously he will wake up if he's sick or has a night mare but those nights are extremely rare and we just give him his dummy and lay him back down providing he's calmed down then he will go back to sleep.
creditcardpie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine slept 12 to 16 hours at 4 months old. Two 5 hour chunks as a newborn.
I did nothing to promote this, kid just loves sleep like I do :)
I'm pretty sure you just get what you get and no amount of conditioning or training can truly change it around.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:33:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
hitchcocklikedblonds ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:58:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My kid is 8 now... there's not even that much piss or lack of sleep at this point.
Right now it means I get to watch my son read Harry Potter for the first time. And I spent this weekend playing in a creek and catching tadpoles. There is a person who thinks I am amazing because I can juggle and know all the words to the Adventure Time theme song.
My husband and I can justify buying board games all the time because it's "family fun!". I get to share my favorite books, games, music, tv with a new person. Maybe I never get to watch The Last Starfighter for the first time again, but I get to watch my son experience all these things for the first time.
Motherhood. It's pretty awesome.
Psyanide13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:26:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What a shitty fucking response.
People have empathy, they have imaginations, they can see what other people go through and put themselves in their place.
You don't have to be in the exact same circumstance as someone else to understand what they are dealing with.
Stop acting like being a mother is some mystical fucking thing that others cannot possibly understand.
The guy wasn't even shitting on mothers. Having a baby entails dealing with "shit, piss, more shit and no sleep."
If you are a mother an not experiencing these things you need to tell Esmeranda, your nicaraguan nanny, a big thank you.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:55:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He was implying the have shit lives because they have children. I have a 15 month old and have left him with my mum for 3 hours twice, once so I could get oral surgery when he was 10 weeks old and yesterday when he was in bed so I could go the cinema. My life is perfect and i've raised my own child thanks very much. The first few weeks are hard yes, but that doesn't mean I have a shit life or that I have a nanny. Been peed on once, shit on never and still got at least 8 hours of sleep a night since he was born.
flynnsanity3 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:45:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can also realize this by having a mother. My mother lied about how lucky she was to have my brother and I, but really all it did was ruin a very promising career and nearly bankrupt her.
I don't hate my life or anything, but it's just a fact.
LouBrown ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just a /r/childfree poster. I suppose you can take that for what it's worth.
Leto_III ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What a fucking trolling asshole you are.
creditcardpie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly though the piss n shit I got used to after the 3rd diaper...just didn't bother me at all. And my kid slept through the night like an angel ~1 month after coming home from the hospital. Super rare, but I got the easy baby that all the other moms hated me for.
Another kid's shit? Oh, fuck no, I will not.
run_from_the_emus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:26:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's bed time.
eggbert194 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Better get yo xss in that bed!
BarleyHopsWater ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:50:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't pull faces, if the wind changes you'll be stuck like that.
teMptatiOn01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:54:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You look good, son.
Sorry_that_im_an_ass ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:26:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll think about it".
Tayakoyaki ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:34:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We will buy it on our way back."
They won't.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:35:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:38:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
punchthateye ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:39:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that we don't come out of their vaginas
Ubername_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:55:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
c section baby for the win
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
True for Pop-Tart deliveries. PlayDoh Fun Factory babies, yeah.
SteroidSandwich ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:43:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I did it because I love you"
Krallenhand ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:04:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"My, what a handsome young man you are!"
KittySpinEcho ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:16:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so glad you were born.
Chen15 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:20:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's really spicy
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:20:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're going to be fine." Im a piece of shit, so guess not.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:22:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We're leaving in 10 minutes "
Hunky-Hyuga ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:27:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's you're their favorite child.
truthcopy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:42:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
... especially when you're the only. Ouch.
bigkbull ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:29:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not just saying this because it's my child..."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:31:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Go ahead, do it. It won't break your arms.
Aln-met-tyr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:32:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The ice cream man plays his song when hes got nothing left. That bitch
grayskull88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:33:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"you did great!"
Commentcarefully ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:38:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"This is your father"
"I dont have a favorite child"
JdiJwa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait till your dad gets home. When momma, when?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He went out to get a pack of ciggarettes.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Saint Nicolas is real (Saint Nicolas is the European equivalent of Santa Claus) (idk if Saint Nicolas is the right word for the dude tjat comes at 6 december and gives presents)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, dec 6 is St. Nick's day
bury_the_boy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:47:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Anyone would be lucky to have you."
Reallychelseawow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:50:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No mother has eyes in the back of their head, despite what they'd like you to believe
wetwater ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:12:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But the nuns in kindergarten sure as hell did.
jetforcegemini ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:51:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not hungry, you should have the last piece."
Scuba-coops ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:55:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're so handsome!"
gud4bad248 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:55:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be whatever you wanna be"
encadence ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:58:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm listening."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:59:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe later." , "We'll see" or a variation of such.
Throoweweiz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:00:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Ooh you look so handsome!!"
bob_marley98 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:02:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you imitate the way the kid with the cleft palette /harelip talks, soon you will talk that way too.
40 years later - Hey mom - no I don't!
Seacabbage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:04:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're special!"
i_bhoptoschool ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:05:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa, the Easter bunny, the tooth fairy
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:06:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"My baby sleeps through the night."
thepilotofepic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you tell me the truth, I won't spank you
krystlships ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:09:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your dad ate the rest of the brownies
Hyp3rwolfies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:25:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pot brownies?
Hyp3rwolfies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pot brownies?
ud_patter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:09:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I've got eyes in the back of my head"
userpick707 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:10:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Daddy's working "late" again
JustinQueeber ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:11:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't eat your carrots your TVs will go square
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:20:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Any girl would be lucky to have you"
hvnsent ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:23:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Of course I don't have a favorite kid."
Belboz99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if that's worse, or being told flat out to your face that "this is a family of favorites".
Okijdm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:23:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you keep playing with it you will go blind.
d3gree ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:27:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you" ๐ข
Belboz99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure which is worse... being told this as a lie, or never at all.
Walkerbaiit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:28:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"In a minute".
HighSociety101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll think about it."
So it's a no.
canikeepit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love all my kids the same."
princessaurus_rex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:35:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe." "Ugh maybe means no." ๐ฃ
imeugenelee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The triangle button on the car will turn the car into a transformer.
OGWopFro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:37:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You'll shoot your eye out!" Most likely you will NOT shoot your eye out.
CompartmentalizeMyBi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I shot my eye out!"
espinoza4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:39:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
beepbeepbot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you guys equally"
JesusIsMyGayCousin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:45:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"God is watching".
He's playing WoW!
Ubername_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I know more about the old gods in world of Warcraft than any real religion.
nipplz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:45:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can anything when you grow up.........bullshit I don't see anyone trying to be a cake
lordgc820 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:45:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you are the most handsome boy in your school.
Amanoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:45:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That at some point in December (exact date is different in different traditions) a man in red comes from the north-pole/Spain to bring presents.
TARDIS32 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:46:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Santa is real"
Corr521 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:46:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't touch that, it's hot"
Lxvpq ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:47:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Try it, it taste like chicken." No mom, shrimps, fish and eggs do not taste like chicken.
plmattice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:48:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
mormotomyia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:51:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
NO MOM I AM NOT HANDSOME JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK I AM!
thatboyfromthehood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:51:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That her son is handsome even if the son is ugly
Bahndoos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're such a handsome boy!"
Jaxster37 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When the Ice Cream truck is playing music that means that they're out of ice cream.
OilyB ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Just be yourself and she will walk into your life."
skepticaljesus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You'll understand when you're older."
I'm 32 and still don't understand shit.
inajeep ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:02:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
pizza_and_cats ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:04:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You'll understand when you're older"
iH8socialmedia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:04:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That girls pee via their poophole
thebeesremain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:04:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a mom, reading through the comments:
<<<<<guilt intensifies>>>>> ๐๐ง๐๐๐ข
marked-one ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:05:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"i promise I won't hit you. Come closer"
gets closer
SMACK!!
Queenbyte0110 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol the good ole mexican mom trick. Mom: "Come here real quick" Me: "no im ok: Mom: "no come here" Goes because if you don't it will be much worse Then as you flinch SMACK
marked-one ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never learned
Cybjun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:08:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"Just be yourself, people will like you for who you are!"
Well into my adult years and I call BS on that.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:08:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you know your mom will ask you for money for drugs or alcohol after saying "you know i will always love you right"
riotgirlckb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:08:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favorite"
koopamancer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:11:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Go ahead and do whatever you like."
Kids, it's a threat, not a permission to do as you please.
Loopylou1985 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My 6 year old finally worked out that "Go then, do what you ever you want" is not a good phrase to hear, and means trouble us coming this week. I was impressed she grasped it so young, I was still taking it as permission at 14!
Pyr0technician ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:11:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
Smalius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:11:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:13:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
nesoner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:13:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You look really handsome"
Or_French_Whatever ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:14:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You've got a perfectly shaped head, son."
lazlounderhill ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:14:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Any advice a mother gives her son about relationships should be immediately disregarded - unless that advice is "don't get married, don't get anyone pregnant".
22BoxesOfFoxes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:14:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A particular poem by Raul Gutierrez comes to mind:
Breaks my heart every time...
musquash1000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I have eyes in the back of my head,I can see what you are doing."
Anne_Franks_Dildo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you go outside with your hair wet, you'll catch a cold.
The one doesn't cause the other, that's not how viruses work.
Caesrius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It might not be direct causation, but it doesn't exactly help, either.
Wuleta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Son, if you finish your education, you'll get somewhere in life."
Echolife ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:19:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well its not guarantee but it is great head start.
Wuleta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it depends on where you live.
xia976 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Somewhere kind of implies moving, doesn't it?
Wuleta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed, but it's taken out of context. My point was - you can get somewhere in life even without a uni degree. It's not related at all. What mothers should say is: "You'll get as far in life as you desire to go. Degree or no degree. Refugee or no refugee."
MontyHallsGoatthrowa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not neccesarily. In the US you can make a decent living without a college degree in skilled labor, especially if you have your own business doing it. A lot of college grads struggle to find employment, though, and are saddled with student loans they need to pay back.
Spaqin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:17:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're an attractive young man".
IamYourShowerCurtain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Of course I do not have a favourite child! I love you all equally as much!"
Shhhmint ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ye, my mom would always tell me to eat my veggie and pees so i become a donald schwarzenegger...
Galfonz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:01:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That would be Donald, Arnold's skinny insurance salesman brother?
Gibbothemediocre ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Such a handsome boy...
...Has a face like the moon survived a car crash
The Far side.
Ryanmcc3405 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes I'm coming back after I go get cigarettes."
iced327 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I won't punish you if you tell the truth" is one that my mom told a lot.
Not a good one when the acting of punishing me afterwards literally means she lied, and when it makes me less likely to trust her OR tell the truth.
We have a very strained relationship.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I know you want your toy today, but just wait a few days, we'll buy that toy next time we come."
'next time' never comes
dragoltor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:26:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
MC_Queen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:28:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hmmmm....this video isn't working.... Did you brush your teeth? I'm sure it's unrelated, but it Just won't start. [sister runs to brush teeth] hey there it is, that's odd.
Galfonz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:54:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Woo that's a good one. At what age do you start to worry if it still works?
SpeedWisp02 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:28:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This will probably get buried as am late as always but thing my mum always told me was "If you drink coffee you will grow a tail".
I believed her... ;(
CynicalSoup ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:29:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll find a nice girl one day.
erico_mart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:29:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eat your vegetables and you will be big and strong
Never had a problem with vegetables but i am neither strong nor tall
Murdakaii ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:29:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus
ampersandscene ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:30:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ice cream truck comes by, and I ask my mom for ice cream. "Honey, the music means they have no more ice cream."
Very clever, mother.
bguy74 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:30:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want to be"
LordPeePerz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're so handsome!
Yaboylushus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"we'll see"
fostralian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll see"
theel0n ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
MOVIE TICKET PRICES Child 14 yo-7$ Adult 15-above - 30$
Parents- my child is 14 yo, (he's actually 15)
silverfluff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've overheard a friend of mine have this conversation with her step-kid, so technically not a mum, by close.
Kid (playing with friends watch): "What do the letters say?"
Friend: "waterproof"
Kid: "what does it mean?"
Friend: "it means that you cannot put it into water because it will break!"
FlyingKoalaBear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody's against you
nathanspearow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are my favorite child"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's no such thing as monsters.
2ndTake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother told me that if I kept sucking snot back up my nose it would look like Michael Jacksons nose. She said that's what happened to him. I believed her for longer than I care to admit.
WhateverDudeJustDie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Daddy will be back soon"
kixxqueen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's food at the house
OGuytheWhackJob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:33:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be whatever you want when you grow up!"
alflup ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:34:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe.
saugustam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:35:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I never said that"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We're leaving in five minutes," she says, as she continues to talk to the other mothers for thirty more minutes.
durdyg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll tell you when you're older."
ftctkugffquoctngxxh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:37:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll see."
FlyingGino ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:37:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh he's just tired" This seems to be a catch all excuse that every mother says when there child is acting like a little shit head!
pennhead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, that's my daughter-in-law you're talking about!
FlyingGino ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:11:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes it is and you know what I said to be true.
RiotingMoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:39:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We'll see
...every damn time it was code for "no"
MarcusVWario ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:41:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want to be.
MyNameEsMuerte ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:41:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're so smart! And pretty!
M00nMan666 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:42:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything will be ok."
FassihFayyaz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:42:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eating chocolate causes acne
RagingAzn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:49:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This could actually be true. Depending on the type of chocolate o3o
lionkin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:46:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're special."
pufnstuf360 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:49:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That their child is cute/attractive. No. Everyone does not have attractive kid.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:51:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother told my Niece that coke and any other soda is made by juicing roaches. She hasn't drank any soda and when offered, you can tell how terrorized she is.
I feel bad but it's working. She's slightly chubby and bigger than any other on her age range.
TheExit148 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:51:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We love you all equally...
grizzfan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Ignore the mean kids. They'll get bored eventually when they realize you're not going to react to them."
No they fucking don't. Shit fucked me up socially.
dembrassbeats ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That she has no idea what happened to that "ugly" but amazingly comfortable article of clothing you wear.
I don't care if it looks faded and torn near the bottom that shirt was the softest thing I've ever worn, dammit!
ato09 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents told my brother and I that we were allergic to chocolate so we never ate it. Didn't find out until my 18th birthday that I was allergic when my grandmother asked me if I wanted a piece of chocolate cake. She laughed and said she couldn't believe my parents told us the same thing she told my dad. Still have never tried chocolate.
Legit_Yosemite_Sam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're special.." "You'll be something when you grow up.." anything along those lines.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
sikamikanicoh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:53:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't cross your eyes, they'll stay that way."
As well as "don't smack your teeth, they'll fall off."
Dopebear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:54:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Waiting in line at a shop while your mother goes to grab something else from in the store and says "Wait in line, I'll be right back!" Then you're just about to be served by the cashier and your mother is nowhere in sight.
cappo40 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:55:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're handsome, any girl would be happy to have you".
:(
GeorgieWashington ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll grow hair on your palms if you keep doing that.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
wisepeasant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want when you grow up."
Tysciha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm on the pill.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/wincest?
asleeplessmalice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:00:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Getting picked up from a friend's house as a child
"Okay, get in the car, we're leaving"
cue hour long conversation with friend's mom
QUESO0515 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:00:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 9, my dog suddenly disappeared and my mother told me he went to live on a farm. I found out when I was 33 he actually died :(
BurntPaper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 29 and I'm still waiting for my parents to come clean and tell me my first dogs died or that we had to give them away because we couldn't afford to keep all 3. We had one dog that got pregnant, and we gave away all of the pups away aside from two. The mom and one of the pups disappeared one day, and my parents said they ran away. The mom was super attached to me and super protective, so I just can't imagine her running away.
But the one that we held on to turned out to be the best dog ever. I'll never forget him :)
spank-you ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:03:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not how hard you work. It's who you know
KieselgurKid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:03:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Pretty baby"
boss42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll understand when you get older.
Az0nic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The obvious ones? Santa and the tooth fairy? They have to be the most common ones.
nihiriju ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll shoot your eye out!
redserenity1111 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"when i get paid"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sorry, we just dont have the money to celebrate your birthday this year " Wouldn't seem like a lie... Until the next week a new dishwasher appears, a handbag, 2 pairs of shoes and 3 dresses are delivered.
SirGainz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:07:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're so smart and handsome." Parental Biases
CalvinDehaze ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:07:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"The toy store is closed" at 3pm on a Saturday.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:07:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"That was great, Julian!"
myrtlepower ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:08:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I lost my virginity to your dad"
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Occasionally true.
Neuronzap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're the most handsome boy in the whole world."
:(
biggusbennus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"your brother's too young for Disneyland!"
.. 5 years later...
"You're too old for Disneyland!"
TheTigerbite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We're going to blockbuster."
...
...
along with the grocery store, home depot, the meat market, and every other boring place for a child.
Okarinn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"...
Zero_33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Vodka goes bad once it's opened."
maidenrulz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that man is going to take you if you don't behave but in Spanish
Intraspectre ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are the most handsome man in the world"
Thanks mom for setting me up for disappointment
awoelt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:18:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We can't go to the beach. There was a shark attack and all the beaches are closed so that they can clean up the blood."
KaraWolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
now there's a whopper of a lie for you 0.o lol
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:19:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to say "we'll see" when I asked her to do stuff if she really didn't want to let me do it. I found out later in life she really meant "we'll see if your forget."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But if you do forget you didn't want to actually try
balla713 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:19:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents told both my brother and I that the ice cream truck was just a music truck. I never knew the joys of getting ice cream from a stranger who may or may not have been a pedo.
Chickadee4ever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
๐
slayer2812 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:19:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't go outside without your massive winter coat, or else you'll catch a cold.
TreeAndPlants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
well, not a cold but maybe something more serious so...
masterfuller ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:19:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That you need to wait 30m until you swim after eating.
rharrison ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:20:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know how common this is, but my mom told me that I was allergic to corn and soy products when I was little. I think it was to keep me from eating crappy food
davesewell ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:20:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
MrsRossGeller ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:21:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe"
Maybe means fuck mo, but that I also don't want to deal with your attitude/tantrum/complaining when I say no. So I say Maybe. And then that gives me a lot more time to figure out reasons for why that can't happen.
Lsatellizer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:21:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I care about you "
Fallenstar133 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Stop making that face or it will stay that way." Anyone? Maybe it was just my mom.
petey_pants ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:23:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That the quiet game was actually a game.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is a game. A game to save mom's precious sanity.
Caesrius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also teachers. And bus drivers. And...
Actually no, the 'bus' version was suggested by the kids riding.
Accidental validation?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely. This reminded me of that Daria episode when she is babysitting and tells the kids to play "lichen".
val0ciraptor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:25:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not yelling", said while yelling and generally followed by, "Do you want to hear me yell?"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:26:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're so handsome"
OriginOfOrange ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We have food at the house
pross537 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your Batman game caused a virus on the computer!"
aspidelaps ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:30:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have a favorite child. Or, I love you all equally.
Glitchypink ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mums favourite lies are "I don't have a favourite child" and "I brought you both up exactly the same". When I was growing up, I suffered emotional abuse as she spoilt my sibling rotten, buying things for them as I was left to go without because she never had the money for both of us. Going through this thread, I'm seeing those two lies pop up a lot!
purplefisheye ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Ask your father....."
Filobel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:34:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom would say "When kids tell lies, a dot appears on their forehead that only mothers can see". So when she didn't believe something I said, she'd say "show me your forehead!" If I hesitated, she knew I was lying.
A more common one: "Don't make silly faces, if the wind changes side, you'll get stuck like that."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:35:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WTF?
A_Narcissistic_Sloth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:35:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll pay you back."
I was one of those kids who would put any change or money they found into a piggy bank/empty 5 gallon jug. So when I amassed the fortune of $600 in the 4th grade only to have my mom uae it and not pay it back was a little disappointing. Don't get me wrong, are wasn't using it for her hair or clothes or nothing (she used it for bills/groceries) so I feel like it's all I can do to repay her for being the greatest mom ever. But even now, I work 2 jobs and my mom's constantly"borrowing" money and it just feels like, while I'm taking 2 steps into my future, it's a hobbled 2 steps.
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You might want to talk to her about that....I've never had the pay it back problem but she always got really angry when she needed to pay me back. I lent her ALL of the the money for rent once because the bank was closed and it was due in the am and the next 3 days she acted like I wouldn't stop reminding her. Catch? I never said ANYTHING about needing the money back right away. She asked to borrow it and promised to return it asap in the same sentence.
Depending on how old you are your mother really shouldn't be having to "borrow" all your money....nor if you're out of the house should you really be letting her do it all the time.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:36:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, I love all my children the same
boobiethrowie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:36:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll leave in a minute, I'm just going to talk to Susan real quick."
Jmersh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:42:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Being a mother is the hardest job in the world."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:46:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's just baby fat.
pico0102 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:46:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It'll be alright"
Curaja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:48:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You keep making that face, it's going to stick like that."
Bull shit, I spent a year making handsome faces and I'm still stuck with this 4/10.
iccs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:49:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dinner is ready" And then you come down and she's still cooking
Jack_kenoff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:53:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm almost ready."
Progloria ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:54:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're a handsome little boy.
R1N1_3CL1P53 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:55:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God is real.
The_Mighty_Shazam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:56:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"And then one day in April, I wasn't even there, For there were many things I didn't know. A son was born to me. Mama held his hand, Sayin' someday you'll understand."
TheSoundOfTastyYum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:09:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someday never comes
PerilousinJ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:00:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're special
Therealeasybake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't know how you broke both of your arms."
TheManWhoFellToMirth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:06:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just doing this to help you relax while your arms are broken."
sunfaiz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:09:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll be home in an hour.... 13 years later...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:12:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll tell Santa"
that shit had me on my best behaviour.
Khue ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:13:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with my esteemed colleague Bill Burr on this stance.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:17:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Being a mother is the hardest job in the world." Usually said to mothers by other mothers on clucking hen talk shows.
No, it isn't. I haven't seen any documentaries about the malaria epidemic at the Panamom Birth Canal.
No massive tomes are written about the great battle to get Junior to put his shirt back on.
HiTechCity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:18:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is alright."
Whenever something bad happens, illness, injury, job loss, etc the first step is to lie to the children.
I_Stabbed_Jon_Snow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:23:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want to be."
Only a small sliver of the global population are intelligent enough for this to be true.
griffith12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:23:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Swallowing your gum will give you worms.
jcerretto663 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:25:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We have food at home
iSchwak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:26:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: "I just need to get milk"
LoopyLook ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:27:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
DINNER IN TEN MINUTES COME SET THE TABLE.
Yeah mom, looks like the potatoes aren't even boiling and dad hasn't started the grill, god damn liar.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
DINNER IS READY! COME DOWN NOW!!
Gimme a second please!
NOW!
comes down
Wheres dinner?
5 minutes.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:29:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll be leaving soon."
No, mom, we will not be leaving soon. We'll be leaving in three hours.
MyotonicDystrophy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you don't put on a jacket, you're gonna catch a cold!"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just stopping to get milk" returns 2 hours later with carts full of groceries
mahmudurrahman75 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
โI never would have done that when I was your age.โ
thelazywritr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're special."
mrpringlescan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:36:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Who the father is. It's not that a lot of mothers lie -- maybe only two percent do -- but those who do lie have to repeat it many thousands of times over their lifetimes.
outlaw5588 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:36:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Easter Bunny, Santa Clause, Tooth Fairy
leoohyama12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:37:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love both of you equally"
plsdontshadowbanme- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:37:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't know what happened to that shirt/dress/pair of shorts" after laundry day
YOU THREW IT OUT
L0wRyd3r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:41:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Uhhh how has nobody mentioned Santa Claus?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you both the same" Parents always prefer one son over the other
Phefflin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:43:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
No? Just me?
littleduders ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:44:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have eyes on the back of my head.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:44:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That " they have the hardest jobs in the world"
cordelephant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:45:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The only lie I've ever known my mother to tell me was when I was a small child and i was sick. She gave me some soda randomly and told me to drink, and I did. It tasted gross and I asked her what was in it and she said "nothing" and I finished it. She then told me it was medicine and I got really mad and threw a tantrum.
I have a really good mother
deradera ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:46:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She says... I am... handsome...
yerlordnsaveyer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:46:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Wait til your father gets home." :'(
thatusernameistakwn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:47:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, you can have the last piece. I'm not really hungry. "
Frobro_Baggins94 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:47:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're handsome"
seven0five ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"they don't make batteries for that toy anymore"
texasrigger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:53:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're special."
wreck_it_dave ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the dog ran away
Bodie217 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Parents tell their ugly children that they're gorgeous
betterspacewalrus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:55:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can we change it to lies by parents?
"We'll not be able to afford to send you to college"... quoted from the father that had gone through lots of cars, ATV's, stereo stuff, etc.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:55:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can become anything you want!"
stemeagher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:55:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
toastpirate123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:56:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't play favorites"
Tubaka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:56:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
0-18 years
"You can be whatever you want"
18+
"If you don't study specifically this you'll starve to death."
At least mine anyways...
spayceinvader ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:59:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"...but you're so handsome! Don't worry some girl will be lucky to have you"
cowboybabie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:00:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"mothers are always right" or "mothers know everything" Now that im older i realize most people dont know anything.
N1ck1234 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:01:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa. Biggest lie ever told by parents.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:03:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dinner's ready. Come eat!"
Oh, you mean that the food is on the table, hot and steaming, and ready to be put on a plate and beverages are there for the pouring?
No? Oh, I guess dinner's not ready then, is it?
Cymen90 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:03:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, I didn't do that when I was your age."
rickitickitavibiotch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:03:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's the same thing. (About virtually any knock off product my mom bought)
RagingRedHerpes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats not exactly a lie. Most brands and off brands are made from the same materials by the same company. Its just the packaging that changes. That doesn't apply to clothes though for the most part.
Robtommorow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're telling me my shaqs weren't the same as Jordan's? Son of a...
rickitickitavibiotch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom pulled this one frequently for great value brand products. The only one I really complained about as a kid was a honey nut cheerios clone. Tasted like stones and was just slightly easier to chew.
BEWinATX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:06:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I told my son that bales of hay were horse eggs.
cayleb ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:09:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But... but... horses eat hay!!
BEWinATX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:55:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know, he never went there. Once he learned what a mammal is, though, he was kind of miffed.
topagae ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
smurfsm00 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:12:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not gonna pull your tooth, I'm just checking it!"
jwumb0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:12:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Going to get smokes, I'll be back soon
squirtlegang ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:13:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"There is food in the fridge"
aperture81 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother always told me the best thing to do if i got bullied was to go straight to a teacher and tell them what had happened. In reality, this made the situation worse in so many ways. About a month later after escalated bullying, I went to my dad... He told me get the bully on his own and punch him in the nose.. I did, we got in a fight - I went full cray, beat him up and got suspended for a day. i never got bullied again and earned a lot of respect from other students
toner_lo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:15:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're a smart, handsome young man and you can do anything you want.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The more you shave your legs, the thicker your hair grows back.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your father is the reason why this marriage didn't work
BiggMuffy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:20:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your father was the crazy one.
Ha....
petal14 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:20:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No, I don't have a favorite child...."
TiaraNeko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:21:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Santa/Easter Bunny/God is watching"
coldshower_tuesdays ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:21:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love all my kids equally
FARJORDAN ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:25:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your dad and I were just cuddling".
rakmode ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:25:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe later" when she should have actually said "no".
legoboi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:26:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're special"
VTHUT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Clause is real!
irish7070 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:28:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You lost your Easter chocolate? It must be around here somewhere...
Zetavu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:31:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love all my children the same." They always have favorites.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:32:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: /r/raisedbynarcissists
mamamaMONSTERJAMMM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:33:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You cant have that, we dont have the money for it."
I was genuinely terrified we were going to be homeless when I was a child.
Snogreino ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:33:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you tell me the truth now I won't be mad
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:39:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: Mom, you need help? Mom: No sweetheart. It's OK.
Later..
Mom: OH GOD! WHY THE HELL NO ONE IS HELPING ME! I AM TIRED! I AM A HUMAN TOO!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:39:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You have to go to church every Sunday or you will have sin on your soul."
"If you live that gay lifestyle you will go to hell!"
"The GSA is a horrible place where they encourage you to have sex. We don't want you to go because we love you. You can talk to us instead."
"We have no idea why you'd be unhappy!"
dukeluke2000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:41:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Put on a sweater you will catch a cold.
puntinbitcher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:42:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You'll get arthritis if you keep cracking your knuckles."
holdmydrpepper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:44:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Help me do the dishes" becomes "help me by doing the dishes without help."
ActualButt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:45:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That they approve of and love your significant other.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:46:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want
Lily_Foxy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:51:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll love you no matter what.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:51:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sitting in front of a screen all day will ruin your eyesight"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:51:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"maybe later."
newhere1130 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:53:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Every mom has sex with her son if he breaks both arms. It's normal."
Dontbejaded ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:53:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Got fired on your day off from work. Ask mom if she told your dad she says no. Then your dad calls you into the restroom while he's taking a shit and tries to convince you to be a dog catcher. I hate that shit.
-C
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We're leaving now. You're not coming? Okay we'll just go without you bye bye!"
WordEGirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It'll be okay.
treasrang ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:56:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
lorthic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:56:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can do anything you set your mind to."
I remember a specific time of her saying this. I was 8, wanted to be a police officer. After she told me this, I proceeded to block traffic on my street using orange cones, and tried writing tickets. When the real cops showed up, all they did was laugh, move my cones, and tell me that I wasn't old enough.
Thanks, mom.
Poet_of_Legends ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:57:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That anyone cares about your feelings...
MakinSushi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "Mom, can I get X?"
Mom: "When your dad starts paying child support."
He did, every month, when I was 10-ish and my dad remarried my stepmom brought it to our house directly wheb my Mom wasn't home instead of mailing it because they seriously stay down the street and U.S. Post Office is a terrible thing.
Also the favorite because my child support was the most.
Capt_Aids ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:00:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The bread crust is where all the nutrients are. What a load of bullshit! It's just the outside of the loaf that got cooked more and tastes worse than the rest of the loaf!
Dirte_Joe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: Let's go get something to eat.
Me: (excited but skeptical) Are we going anywhere after?
Mom: No we're just going to McDonald's and coming home.
Me: Ok!
proceed to McDonald's and have awesome meal
Mom: We need to stop here, here, and here before we go home. Oh and you're trying on new clothes for school. And don't give me any lip, you just got McDonald's.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"There is no reason to hit a woman"
Yes_Man__ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh really? How bout this, you fall in love with a girl, you marry her, you buy her a house, you go to work every day payin off the house, you come home from work one day she's bangin the next door neighbor, hands you divorce papers, now you have to move out, sleep on a futon, and still pay for that house that she's gunna stay in. No reason." - Bill Burr
Spin_Me ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We can't go to McDonald's/Burger King/the Ice Cream Stand, it's closed today
aualum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is for sure the biggest lie I tell!
cutiebug ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:04:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Two things.
If I receive any amount of money "want to buy a happy meal with your money?" "Oh it's gone now."
And
"You're never going to amount to anything, and I'll be stuck with you until I'm dead" - mom.
qryCosmos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:05:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I doubt it's common, but the biggest lie told to me by my mom was, "You'll get that money when you go off to school."
During the early-to-mid 1980s, the local credit union had a kind of "education savings account" for school-aged kids. Every week my parents were sending my brother and me to school with $20 and our passbooks. Every week, year after year, I'd see that balance creep higher. Unfortunately, our small, independent, credit union was swallowed up by a much larger group of CUs and the program was scrapped. No more money could be deposited into the account, but the money already there was safe. We never even looked at it, "you'll get that money when you go off to school."
You can probably already see where this is going...anyways...
I am in my graduating year, applying for scholarships, bursaries, awards, etc. I didn't earn the grades needed to count on a free-ride, but I did what I could. At least I had that money sitting in the credit union, right? There was over $2,000 in there. That's good for a semester (in the mid-1990s), right?
I thought that I was going batty. Just to be sure, I asked my dad. He admitted that they used the money when he was getting his hours cut back at the mill and times were tough. Teen-me was heart-broken, but even then I understood. In my opinion, I think that my dad was more than a little ashamed that he had to take his kids' college funds to pay the mortgage and stuff, but I couldn't hold it against him really. But even when I went back to my mom with what I heard from my dad she doubled-down and said that my dad, "doesn't know what he's talking about".
Having what I thought was my money taken sucked. But it really was small-potatoes, the family apparently needed it, and other financial aid was available to me. So, in hindsight, it barely affected me and given how crappy with money I was when I moved out, it wouldn't have lasted long. However, being lied to and made to feel like a liar by my mom, that stung.
weaksaucedude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll see."
Loved that The Simpsons called this out. "That usually means No :("
twinsrule ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:15:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to do that all the time. So I tell my kids that instead of yes.
"Dad, can we go to the pool?" "We'll see.." "Yay!"
runninthrutha6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be an astronaut. I'm 6'4 and severely lack 20/20 vision :(
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything's going to be okay"
I'd rather my parents have been more like
"Life is going to hard sometimes, but you'll get through"
Caesrius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:07:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Day 1:do zilch all day, sleep perfectly Day 2: do more physical labor than both parents combined, barely get two hours of sleep. "You couldn't sleep because you need to do more outside."
THE HECK DO YOU EVEN *WANT* FROM ME?!
OneLineRoast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:07:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
NineMinusThree ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:07:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Someday you'll meet a nice girl..."
ChiefSeeth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Icecream Truck is actually just a music truck that brings a good atmosphere to the street
KingofSheepX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:10:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You need to check the mail everyday...including Sunday" Took me 8 years to realize what I had been doing my whole life.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:11:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're almost 20 now!" "You're still only 18!"
blerg39 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:12:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"McDonald's is closed today." McDonald's was closed a lot when I was a kid.
Autisticdog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:18:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll be by the X section."
My mother has never once been anywhere near the section she said she would be in any store!! I still get panicky shopping with her and I'm in my 20's!!
I wonder if it's an independence building exercise.
chambertlo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:21:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"My child is gifted".
Judging by the way he is acting in a public setting, not the fuck he isn't.
Prometheus444 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:21:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I have eyes in the back of my head"
papasandfear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:22:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Wake up honey, you'll be late for school. It's 7am."
It's actually 6:45am.
nsfwhun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:25:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That if I didn't do (time sensitive task) by the time she specified, it'd be "too late".
I always assumed when she said I had to get something done by ____, she was being literal. Turns out, she usually told me things (like registering for classes and the last drop day, paying a certain bill or fine, responding to mail) were needed 2 weeks-a month before they actually were. Same for oil changes, doc appts, etc.
All the lies about dates and stuff, while well-intentioned, made me end up researching due dates and other such details personally and never trusting her timelines. Has made me more independent but less timely than I think she expected it would.
devilsrevolver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:26:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was planning on doing/getting "blank" for you but since you did that I guess I won't as a punishment....
At like 12 I was like man I know your lying but it still stings.
Fugilio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:28:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah I'll buy you that later on once I get paid" "what? I never said that!"
Sylvianluv ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:29:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything's going to be okay.
badashly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:29:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe later.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:31:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm on my way, I'm five minutes away!"
Shows up half an hour later
richard_vaynes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm on my way, I'm five minutes away!"
never shows up again
Troub313 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
After reading this thread, it turns out my Mom was awesome.
APsWhoopinRoom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:34:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I wanted to go to the local McDonald's Playplace, my mom would tell me that Rosie O'Donnell threw up in the ball pit. I could never figure out why she would fly out to the Seattle area multiple times per week to barf in the ball pit.
Thee_Nameless_One ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:35:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want when you grow up.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:35:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You know I love you!"
"Your Dad and I are so proud of you!"
"You can have some later."
"Your new girlfriend is SO nice!"
Yeoj13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:36:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That everything's gonna be OK. When It obviously is not
tutunka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:36:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fine.
duncecap_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:36:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
everything will be ok
eelings ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:36:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're beautiful, any man would love to be with you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:38:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're special.
trey_at_fehuit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:45:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want to be.
Millibyte ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:46:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I brought you into this world, I can take you out of it as well!"
That would be child abuse and manslaughter, both of which are illegal.
Obecalp86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:48:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love my children equally
hitchcocklikedblonds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:55:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Hmmm... As a mom I'm trying to figure out my biggest lie.
I think it's that I tell him homework is important.
I'm also a teacher and I don't believe in homework. But I make him do his because it's a lesson in, "You gotta do what you gotta do" and work ethic. I don't believe it actually helps students, I feel it takes away from family time and keeps kids from running around/playing/using their free time to explore their own interests and discover the world around them.
Let me clarify, that I mostly mean for elementary and middle school. And that I'm talking about rote memorization "write these lines" homework etc.
I believe homework like writing stories, having experiences, trying new things can be beneficial.
anne-boleyn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:55:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We don't need to eat out, we have good food at home."
MsStJohnIfYouNasty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:55:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you both the same."
Kanye_West_Is_God ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:55:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Reading the responses to some of these comments makes me think I am extremely blessed to have compassionate parents who have money and sense.
dscokink8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:56:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is going to be okay."
I drop that doozy on my kid all the time. I know it's not all going to work out and that life is painful and hard, but you have to bullshit your kids a little or they'll grow up terrified of everything.
set616 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:56:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
Thatguywithashirt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:00:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
After working at a Boys and Girls Club for 3+ years the biggest lie is after the kids get in trouble and we have to have a talk with the parents. The mom always says "I'll take care of this. You won't have to worry about Johnny acting out anymore!"
The next day nothing has changed and Johnny is still the same little shit.
daganjohnson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:01:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It'll be all right."
Matrillik ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:01:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to always tell me that I can pick the radio station when I drive the car. I drive her around occasionally, and I find out that I spent all that time listening to shitty oldie pop for nothing.
DudeItsBenji ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:05:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's 8:30am "gets up" 8:00am
AskMeAboutCommunism ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:06:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're going to grow up and be something great."
said_quiet_part_loud ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:08:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"it's ok"
bobo709 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:17:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother in law told my spouse and siblings that they are all allergic to cats. Only for the fact that she hates cats.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:18:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can do anything you set your mind to
You're the greatest human being of all time
You're going to be somebody one day
hippolover45 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dont worry you are still growing"
SantosMcGarry2016 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:23:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was young, I asked my mom how she knew I was a boy and not a girl when I was born (I have four older sisters who were apparently very excited to have a baby brother). She said "Oh honey, I could tell by the look in your eye!"
Years later, I realized my mother is a liar.
TwelveTrains ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:24:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are a very handsome young man"
ltlsluttyone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:25:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have no favorites....
boltsandholes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:26:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom still denies to this day (15 years later?) that I NEVER had G.I. Joe's. One day I got home and they were just gone. I know it's a lir, because I still have the dog tags that come with them.
TombRaiderLaraCroft ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:27:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want to be when you grow up."
Liar! I can't be a friggin' superhero!
Atheist_Simon_Haddad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:27:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Mom, have you seen Flopsy?"
"He ran away. Have some chicken."
Scripter17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
RUDE
i_am_bs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:28:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything will be OK."
ganja_toker4201 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:28:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
if you think about it being adopted is painless to the mother so she wasnt really lying at all
Cjekov ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:30:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're special"
UviIsGay43 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:30:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is alright"
justinbieberfan42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:32:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience "I love you"
TheRuralBuddah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favorite son."
NothingsSFWAnymore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:46:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you don't cover your feet with your blanket the monsters will get you at night". If you're Spanish, you know this. I was never so scared of leaving a body part out at night for 5 years.
TitaniumDragon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:46:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything will be alright."
GabberPete ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:49:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus was a real man who existed on earth
Salkindelgo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:06:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You'll go blind from touching yourself."
10 years later and I still don't need glasses...
Frankiesaysperhaps ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:09:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Get in the car, we're leaving now."
An hour later we're still in the damn car, seatbelts on, my parents are still talking to my aunt and uncle. God why?
LaLe33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:24:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you ever get arrested, don't call me! You can spend the night in jail..." I've only been arrested once (and that was one too many times) and I was a minor. I later found out that the cop would have let me go if I would have just called my mom. I was terribly stubborn so of course I didn't call her and I spent the night in jail! My mother now warns parents to never, ever make that threat.
ToThyneOwnSelfBeTrue ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:26:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What a good artist you are
supernoonafangirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:30:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are the best."
Still not sure if it's what they call reverse psychology.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't go off smoking cigarettes cause I will find out, I have a nose like a dog."
Never once caught me. Actually had to tell her myself when I turned 18.
MonsieurAK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That she's happy she had children
TavarisJackson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Jeffery would never do that!
notyourmomma111 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:36:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We are out of batteries!!
baneofmyself ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:38:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you" -my mom right before calling me an ungrateful shit
TheZombieBoy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:39:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That you can be paralyzed in some way from getting an ear piercing.
LittleKidLover67 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:42:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
RemmyX25 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:48:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're a wonderful, special child who will go far in life"
Mono275 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:49:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a dad, but I think the biggest one I tell my daughter is when we are hiking. It's almost always 5 more minutes or half a mile. She's 7 so gets tired on the way home quite a bit.
energirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:49:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You should wait til you're married to have sex just like we did."
After 25 years of marriage, they get divorced and you find out your mom was pregnant at the wedding. They just changed the dates on pictures and the wedding certificate hoping you'd never find out.
rekreid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:52:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favorite"
nowhereman136 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:53:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Last time I got that cereal you didn't like it (how does a kid not like frosted flakes?)
Sick_nhead ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I promise I won't be mad"
SneakersShit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't swallow gum because it takes 10 years to go out
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:56:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's all going to be okay."
eviljason ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:56:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything will be alright.
GravityTortoise ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:05:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That they don't have a favourite.
CptNoble ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:12:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything will be all right."
primemas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:19:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No I dont want to have sex, I have a headache"
Point4ska ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:25:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're such a handsome boy." No need to tell me I'm ugly, but false confidence can lead to shitty situations.
FallowerOfMalal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:57:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll never, ever leave you.
Donthurtmyceilings ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:17:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Uh huh, yeah...Wow!!" - Every mom pretending she's listening to the long, nonsensical story their child is telling.
thethicknessss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:22:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
probably how i should treat women. my sex life did a 180 when i tossed that shit out the window. hard, though.
sjm6bd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:27:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:33:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're so handsome!"
burden_of_proof ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:33:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about all mothers, but mine sure had some doozies.
kittenisgood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll always love you and support you." Where was that when I told you I was your son, mother?
Jerrysiharath ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:47:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"we're leaving in 5 minutes, say bye to your friends"
-hours later-
"lets go, [insert name here]! I said we are leaving!"
very_large_ears ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:48:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'You're special.'
liquidpig ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:57:25 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I've got a headache"
bryankolb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:12:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
notexecutive ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:15:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll be ready in a minute!"
sivman17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:16:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus God
woodsbre ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably that being out in the cold would get you sick. No its because you are lazy and don't like us having fun in the snow, because that means you have to stand there and be cold to watch us.
MaziforReal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Give me your money, I'll put it in your savings account.
JackDoesYouTube ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We'll do it later
kevin32 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sure that glass slipper fits one of my daughters."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not hungry. You eat."
JessieN ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't touch the baby bird the mama bird will reject it cause of them smell...
timburkhardt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You look beautiful
HS_Did_Nothing_Wrong ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:20:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"it's going to be OK"
No, it won't.
sythex92 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:51:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll see when I get paid.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:11:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Praying the rosary will only take 5 minutes.
akacmac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. OMG. She lied and the kneeling....
Penguinkeith ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:22:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
" he looks just like his father" to an indistinguishable baby is a lie to convince a father that the baby is his, this is an instinctual survival strategy developed over thousands and thousands of years
Frosted_underscore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:27:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're their favorite child. (only applies to families with two plus children)
xoKaylaa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You don't need to go to the doctor."
nm0732 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have no favorite child..
We all know it's the youngest.
organicpastaa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:00:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
" I love all of you equally." ( to siblings ).
popsicleturneddown ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:18:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"He's mean to you because he likes you!"
banjohusky95 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:25:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll see/ I'll think about it"
No you wont. You never did.
styleparamour ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:26:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"i love all my kids equally"
watermelonpizzafries ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:29:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're not ugly."
OK. Sure, whatever, mom. That explains my lackluster dating life.
Cwschaub178 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:30:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's onlylike 1 hour it's not that bad." Returns home in 3 hours...
turbulance4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:38:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I need that money, to support my child
TreebarkMark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:06:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I have eyes in the back of my head"
Taijarkana ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:17:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We're only going to do this while your arms are broken.
rattaar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:18:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Somebody just found out they aren't special and the world is cold and brutal, and instead of hating the world for being that way they hate their mother for trying to give them some small comfort in life.
hobo4presidente ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:22:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Get out of bed it's 7:30." Clock reads 7:12.
hobo4presidente ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:22:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Get out of bed it's 7:30." Clock reads 7:12.
chocywocy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:35:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom use to rush me when she's driving me to school by saying she's leaving without me. She would just drive to a school with no child to drop off.
ING3NIU5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:41:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, your father and I love you...
OpalMagnus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:43:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
๐๏ธ cant_even_such_wow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:20 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Safe to say this question blew up faster than a hamster in a microwave. Thanks for your brilliant answers reddit!
alamohero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:19:42 on August 20, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll be home in 10 minutes. 30 minutes later: (storming in the door)"hurry up, we're late!"
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:27:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God is real
alitayy ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:59:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
2edgy4me
uwagapies ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:28:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*Tips Fedora
Ubername_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:13:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Redditers be like: source?
AlekRivard ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:14:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Rufus just went to an animal farm
You can be anything you want to be
Your father went out for cigarettes, he'll be back
JeremyArroyo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:21:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is a god
livedadevil ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:58:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll catch cold if you go out with wet hair
jamiebjordan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:26:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I never did drugs when I was your age"
Ubername_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha my dad has showed me photos of him drinking with his buds freshman year of high school. I guess I'm on the other end of be spectrum. He's told me "go ahead and drink, but tell me so I can pick you upโ and here's some condoms even though you're single, doesn't mean you won't need em'!
Anubiska ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:38:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That you as their son/daughter are the most special person in the world.
The problem is some mothers and children believe this literally. That's why there are so many idiots in the world.
InvadedByMoops ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:19:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh they're just teasing you because they're jealous."
No mom, I was a goddamn weirdo, not someone to be jealous of. Telling me that just turned me into a weirdo with a superiority complex.
EdwardScissorHands11 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:47:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Throughout children's lives their parents tell them how special they are, and that's great. The problem begins when people become adults and believe that that's still true. In my opinion, one of the most important parts of being an adult is understanding that you're not special. In fact, you're perfectly ordinary and that's OK. There's a whole world full of people who think that they're just as important as you think you are. We identify with people who seem like us and polarize ourselves from people who seem different all because we want reinforcement as to how special we really are. This, I assert is one of the major problems with the world we live in.
rogersimon011 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:34:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I came home from school one day, and didn't see my dad's car in the driveway. I got a little worried, so I asked my mom where he was, and she said he just had to stay at work a little longer and that he would be home soon. The way she said it made it seem like she knew more than she was letting on, and I got a little nervous. I went to my room to lay down, and, of course, as soon as I stepped foot past my door, my dad leaped out of my closet and started beating me relentlessly with his jumper cables.
le_dank_memer28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wtf
MadJibanyan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fake little shit! You gave me hope he was back... :(
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus, and God.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/circlejerk
pixelatedcombustion ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents were atheists so I never got the god bullcrap but yeah, Santa. I was heartbroken when I found out.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:47:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is a Christian but not really active, however she mentions god, papa jesus every now and then. My dad is a Buddhist and again, not that religious.
ebilwabbit ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:57:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love being a mother."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:44:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
Alenthya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sheesh, how long-lived IS your mother?
Dragon33217 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that you, Mary?
Willows_Whiten ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:48:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a mom to two littles who can't tell the difference between 5min and 30min.... "5 minutes" is probably my most used lie. "We're eating in 5 more minutes!" "We'll be there in 5 minutes!" "Just give me 5 minutes!"
To a toddler, 5 minutes it's the perfect amount of time between being too long a wait but also being short enough that they feel they can wait.
Don't judge me. It's about survival!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
maggieG42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I personally do not think it is hard at all but I base that on my family life. I can imagine in a family where the mother is not respected, is expected to do 90% of the parenting and in many cases also work outside the home. Is expected to be the emotional battering board of the whole family and do so without giving any of her emotional or physical needs attention it could be very hard.
submitanewt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:56:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"being a mother is the hardest job in the world"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:11:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
fatPurplegator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:13:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
After you've broken both of your arms
Morgizi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:30:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'You'll get your reward in heaven'.
Source: am dead
octaviusxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:07:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom would always tell me how I was born with McDonald's hash browns on my head. Said that was the reason i loved them so much. I told teachers, friends, and even random strangers. Was pretty disappointed when she told me the truth when I was 11.
kgreen6901 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:08:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This will go on your permanent record.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll talk about it when you calm down." You mean you're just avoiding the subject so if I bring it up later it looks like I'm in the wrong for holding a grudge.
Toaster135 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:20:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funny how your perspective changes as you age. I interpreted this question more as "mother of your children" and come in here to high school kids talking about their mom not having dinner ready on time.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"He's your father."
Lying whore.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:15:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
Fakepatrick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:37:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait wut
Fakepatrick ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:36:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait wut
Fakepatrick ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:36:53 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait wut
saiyanhajime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:31:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"The man says it's time to go now" or "the man will tell you off" etc. I worked at a theme park and parents say this shit constantly when they can't be bothered to parent. Like, no? I'm not going to pretend I'm shutting the ride and lie to your kid.
SporkOfThor ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:25:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mothers always say there are no monsters - no real ones - but there are.
DustyValentine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not always.
My mother would tell me about every kidnapping, rape, murder, fire, etc. that she heard about, even as a young child. She also believed in conspiracy theories and imaginary monsters, so there were those to contend with as well. She just wanted me to be "safe," or rather, know that I wasn't safe. Ever. She told me that alien abductions are real and that I had probably been abducted, because I had nightmares; that spontaneous combustion could plausibly happen in my room, so I better not shut my door, lest I be trapped in a fire and die of smoke inhalation; that nuclear holocaust could happen at any time and that any of the planes that I saw overhead could be carrying a nuclear bomb, so I should hope to be killed in the blast rather than by radiation poisoning; that strangers are always dangerous and that they might kidnap and behead me, like the boy on tv; that I can't rest easy around people I know well, including my father, because they could sexual molest me, like those kids in the paper; that I better not walk close to any cars or bushes, because someone could be lurking there to grab me; that I better not let anyone see me through a window, because someone would break into the house and rape and murder me, like that girl on the news; that when I got older and got a driver's license, I had better keep an eye on the people behind me, lest they run me off the road and rape and murder me, like the girl on the news. And so on.
Ubername_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What ? ๐ค
SporkOfThor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Movie reference. Google the quote.
Shitlord_Zilla ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:06:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You'll gain so much weight once you're pregnant! Kids will ruin your body!"
More like kids will have you running around LOSING WEIGHT since they're so active most of the time. There's actually a whole new set of activities you get to do as a mother like take your children to the zoo, the park or to a museum and spending the day there with them.
Yes, you do gain weight while you are pregnant, but any gain over 40lbs is not recommended for any person while pregnant. Most of it does come off quickly with proper diet post pregnancy however, meaning less processed food and more healthy fresh stuff. Losing weight is about 10% exercise 90% diet
alternativespecs ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:34:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stretch marks killed my belly and breasts. Breastfeeding didn't do any good for my breasts. I lost most of the weight but still trying to tone the hips down.
Shitlord_Zilla ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:31:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well it's not like you're not beautiful or pretty just because you have stretch marks. I have them covering a large part of my inner thighs and breasts but that doesn't stop my boyfriend from saying I'm sexy. Breasts are Breasts, just because there's a pattern or color to them doesn't mean they're "ruined".
alternativespecs ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:39:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was mentioning that it isn't only weight that some people are conscious about.
But thanks for encouragement.
TheMightyIrishman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:11:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've known some people to use pregnancy as an excuse to eat whenever and whatever they want. Post pregnancy they say "I don't know why all the pregnancy weight didn't come off!", even if they start to eat somewhat normally afterwards.
beanzo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:47:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you're good, you'll go to heaven
Kavein80 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A bunch of salty, ungrateful teenagers in here.
MisterEvilBreakfast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:36 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck oath. Imagine doing something nice for your mother instead of sitting around jerking off all day?
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
no u
flynnsanity3 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:42:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol rekt
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jammy445 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
if you sit too close to the tv, your eyes will go square.
If the cross your eyes too much, then they will get stuck like that
ConstanceFry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't know." In response to... well, anything.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Wake up! You're already late!"
LayzaSkully ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Get up, it's 8 o'clock" when actually it's 7:40.
lil_mikey1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"you're such a handsome boy".... Oh, I just made myself sad.
the-bid-d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your head will cave in if you keep picking your nose
You get arthritis if you keep cracking your knuckles
It's bad luck when you put new shoes on a table
LauraJ94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll think about it.... never happens.
CakeAndDonuts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just because she thought about it doesn't mean she is going to go along with whatever the request was.
TheNamesVox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You look so handsome."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually am quite attractive.
BITW_434 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe tomorrow"
LedaPups ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Keep rolling your eyes at me and someday they will get stuck upside down on your head" - Mother, MINE
My mom learned a lot with my grandma
JakobieJones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're special"
BtDB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe someday your real parents will come back for you."
That might have just been my Mom.
77remix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You were the cutest baby"
keenly_disinterested ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe...
Poets_are_Fags ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dad already said no"
What?! Dad isn't even home right now, how did you already ask him when i JUST asked you.
"I knew you were gonna about that and we already talked about it."
Jack6566 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
theodore33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm almost ready" five minutes before it's time to leave.
NoodleSSM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We will see"
Instant no.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa, Easter bunny, tooth fairy, etc.
frogspa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This little piggy came home.
Stevet159 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is your daughter/son.
Maldetete ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything will be alright"
Gynthaeres ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe for Christmas" or "Maybe Santa will get it for you for Christmas"
cryospam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Them telling you that if you cross your eyes they will get stuck.
AndyDrew23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can't even taste <insert vegetable name> in this" "No, no, no. You like the taste of this."
Three_of_Swords ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything will be okay."
l1zbro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I sent your dog to live on a farm."
Uragami ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom telling you you're handsome/beautiful when you know you're ugly af.
BPremium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll find someone who loves you just the way you are. Lol
aveos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
AlistairTheGecko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I was just going to do that, but since you asked I'm going to to wait even longer." Doesn't matter when you ask.
Elev8rMusic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It will all be okay
sethghecko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
mmuoio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I tell my daughter that my food is spicy if I don't feel like sharing...
thedarlingbuttsofmay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'I'm fine'. Post natal depression is a hell of a thing.
RMtheAvatar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes dear, I'm watching!"
Yanman_be ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you have heavy bones like your grandpa
"mom where is my manowar (insert any metal band name here) tshirt?" "uh, i dunno" [it was actually made into a rag]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"The candy next to the checkout are not for sale"
friskfyr32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/oofSnsGkops?t=48s
Imaj76 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus - Tooth Fairy - Easter Bunny
sgtdarck5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm proud of you" if she ever saw my reddit or imgur accounts, I shudder just thinking about it
Calligraphistocation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"There's no monsters under the bed"
FuffyKitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We're only going to a few stores"
10 stores later...
LivinLifeLikeLarry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"There is no monster under your bed"
Littlebigs5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your tummy hurts because you are lying on your back, turn on your side and it will go away". It works for no medical reason whatsoever
greffedufois ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually lying on your left side can help relieve gas...so she was right.
Stella_x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favourite"
Family of 2+ kids
UD_Lover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Chuck E. Cheese is closed.
Hydrok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favorite"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"when the ice-cream van is playing music, it means that the ice-cream is sold out"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe."
lorelicat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm broke"
iEuphemia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you watch too much TV, your eyes will become squares".
brusss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you don't do X, I'm going to Y"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favorite child"
moviemaker10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
pwaasome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a virgin." From my mum.
TheMightyIrishman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to (store name) for (5 items or less at said store). Wanna come? I'll treat you to lunch!
This has been told to me dozens of times and I no longer fall for it unless my day is a completely blank slate and I'm feeling guilty about not seeing my mother for a while. 5 items in 1 store turns into 20 items in 5 stores in a good day. Amount of time spent out usually directly correlates with quality of food at least, and I do love me some Texas Roadhouse
monjombo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you make that face it'll get stuck like that."
robiniseenbanaan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me that girls care about the Inside, I don't think this is the case (anymore)
informareWORK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is fine" or "I'm fine" or "I have the best job in the world".
There is a very strong shame pressure on women to never admit that being a mother sucks a lot of the time because it's super difficult. There is this pressure to learn to love your noble suffering (which is actually really similar to the attitude of an abusive partner) while in reality, many mothers don't actually enjoy the day to day of it.
Lostsonofpluto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kid: mom, can I go over to Bob's house on Saturday
Mom: maybe, let me think about it
Then she never talks about it again
Fmofdeath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll see". That always means no...
MuonManLaserJab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mommy's gonna make everything OK.
Blackewolfe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Mommy loves you"
Jano606 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At the grocery store when I was a kid, "I'll be in the next aisle over."
I walk over and she's vanished. I check several more aisles and still nowhere to be found. I guess I have to go tell an employee I'm lost and to call my mom on the loudspeaker now. Fuck
Alsadius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus.
Medivh158 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
According to r/adviceanimals, it's "I love all my children equally."
For reference: https://m.reddit.com/r/AdviceAnimals/comments/4wuzax/uhh_hey/
freckle_juice_mama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That we don't have favorites. Everyone has a favorite something, and sometimes that something is one of your kids. As long as you're not obvious about it and you treat them the same, I don't see the issue.
spewforth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'I'll have to hang up the phone now'
CampingWithCats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is only water in my cup and No, you cannot have a drink.
Thisisallie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is going to be okay"
Tekowsen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you keep watching that screen, your eyes will become square."
I think every mom I knew when I was a kid, told us this to get away from the nintendo or computer.
honeywholewheat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm so proud of you."
This got a bit dark for me.
leredditor13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Love a woman, dont cheat on her and she will always love you in return.
JellyOnMyToast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No, I don't have a favorite child" or "I love all my children equally".
You don't have to tell me mom, I know i'm your favorite. Right?
Bdills24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
Bdills24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe"
clintmemo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's ok. You'll be fine.
sw1sher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It wont hurt"
X0AN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never did that when I was your age. Then you later find out she was twice as bad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Do this because I know best"
HuttsLP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People make fun of you because they are jealous. Nobody is jealous of the braces, lack of friends, and general lack of self esteem mom.
NotAPimecone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything's going to be ok"
dirkdiggler1369 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa, Easter Bunny, tooth fairy... Pick one, these are lies by parents from day one!
MetalxMikex666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That "you're special."
Cchristinamariee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything will be alright"
junikl2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I didn't want to finish eating my dinner: "Just one more spoonful"
Alenthya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your face will stay like that."
justdill_01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus
PM_ME_GANDALFS_STAFF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even moms don't know everything
Dirtydeal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nice try kid!
Mox_au ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll love you and keep you safe.
Estrellitadamasco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are so pretty
terriblecowgirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dinner's ready come upstairs!"
And then you show up and there's no actual food ready.
ggfangirl85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are no monsters under the bed.
PikachuOnLSD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We'll see... that always meant no
Joba_Fett ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
rebelleader51 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're not ugly."
phat_phalcon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa.
Navers90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want when you grow up."
White_Bear_Lake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your shoulders will broaden out"
ormina ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's going to be okay"
NikoNub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I never wanted you!"
Am I right, guys?
....guys?
j0m1n1n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"He's a late bloomer." Some kids never bloom.
iklips ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll always love you."
I may have some issues with my mom.
Paint_Chip_Nachos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just showed this post to my mom. Her answer..... Everything will be alright.
damatas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That there is this dude that dresses up in a white and red suit and will deliver presents to me once a year if I behave.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're special".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything is fine. (Her arm could be falling off but she says it's fine)
WorldWideWeb03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're so handsome!"
itsjolz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll explain when you're older"
SoundandFurySNothing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom knows your ugly. She just says your handsome because nothing is uglier then low self esteem.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Being a Mother is the hardest job in the world"
GordonRamsayVevo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm around the corner"
ChipotleTurds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Let me try it first to make sure it's not poisonous."
Ninecatsandcounting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just try one bite, you'll love it.
momothedragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, your not adopted...
-hawken- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're beautiful, son"
mhc-ask ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you two both equally."
Yeah, no you don't. >:(
Heregoessomethong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
tuiny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
supercarlos297 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm her child.
benjarmb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother told me that dragon flys could sew my mouth shut. I was terrified of them until I was 15 or so.
AwesomeTrinket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god I thought I was the only one!
someboredprick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You ARE beautiful.
_property_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"When you grow up, you'll understand. "
I'm a grown up and even I don't understand.
Sigh.
Churchie_101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone is ten for two years, because fifth grade is hard for evereyone
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No I don't have a favorite!"
TASSPAS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe" means "no".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
0riginal_Poster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
University is your only viable path
Tinywampa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents say. "We're leaving now, get your stuff and go ahead" Then they'll stand around for 10 minutes talking to the people we were visiting and get mad when we get mad that they made us wait.
AzuraHatesScamps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not a lie but saying Maybe when you ask them for something or to do something and it gets your hopes up but in the end it's really a no.
lurkerbelow13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything will be alright."
Orkished ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are good looking" Shut up mum! You're biased!!
SPQC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We'll see...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you".
:(
LackingCreativityATM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"The doctor said you have cancer"
Maybe just me then. My brother got, "rare blood disease" go figure.
slowshot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you keep pulling at that thing, it's gonna fall off.
makesyoudownvote ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's going to be ok."
TreeThumbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"C'mon get up its half 8, you're going to be late for school!!"
When in actual fact it's 10 past at the latest.
MarmeladovsBottle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
Remintz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
mynameisage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Is real
subconsiiouss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That Santa is real
sammielle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you sit too close to the to the TV your eyes will go square "
Also
When making a silly face "if the wind changes your face will get stuck like that"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You never do anything for me!
xGamabuntAx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He is your father
JaBossss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
WaxnHash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Growing pains.. Those random weird pains you get throughout your body while growing up. My mom would always say I'm growing. Still can't explain them...
kazfiel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
arthritis?
genx_rp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Be nice to people and people will be nice to you.
FrickOffRandy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
guywitheyes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Santa Claus lie.
locotxwork ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:05:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not a lie, the spirit of Santa Clause lives !
ARCTrooper5555 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i love you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you shave your beard, it'll grow back even thicker!"
Still can't believe I fell for that one.
kazfiel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a lie many people believe.
Mewing_Raven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably Santa.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't know"
schacmatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll be with you forever.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I opened this thinking if the number one comment isn't "you are special" then I just don't get Reddit anymore. I guess I just don't get Reddit anymore....
kazfiel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right above you is "You can be anything you want to be."
I was definitely looking for that one. Had a classmate say that once, in class, to the teacher.
"My mother and other teacher both say I can be anything I want."
Teacher looked at him, smiled and said "Some people can, x and y can. You definitely can't."
One of the best responses ever. He was there because of some sort of error, was with us in elementary school as well. It was our first year in middle school, he was forced to go to a school with the lowest level within 3 months. We were at the highest level.
He never even realized those around him were beyond him, it was a bit sad.
ntm001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
eNtitymeister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you Noah.
Eyeoftheeye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm down the street
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who the father is.
LonginiusSpear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It will be ok.
Feralisaur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'I love you'(sobs)
HauntedMinge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Mum would always lie about the time. She would come into my room and say "Get out of bed its 07:30!" I would then look at the clock and it would only be 07:05.
It used to really piss me off so I slept in even longer.
neolfex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When i was young, "Coffee stunts your growth"
IrishAchilles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I was paying attention, I heard everything you just said!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
seth971 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your eyes will get stuck like that
70percentmugcookies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'WHY ARE YOU NOT UP? IT IS 9AM ALREADY!' I look at the clock, and it is 9:40am. That's a difference, mom!
logicblocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Just one more bite, the last one" when asking you to eat as a kid. It's not the last one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like my personal trainer
Songal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How you were born.
iamkuato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you follow the rules, you will be rewarded by an eternity of bliss after death. If you disobey, you sill suffer an eternity in fiery damnation.
wormald444 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"i love you"
User839 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are pretty"
Helnik17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're so brilliant!!
Hasie501 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is a Santa Clause and easter bunny.
Calius1337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's your daddy.
Dr_Edge_ATX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
Maximus_Stache ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're so handsome!"
AlwaysChangingMind88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to a friend of mine. I couldn't believe my ears.
(At a fast food restaurant)
His mom "Get me a drink please"
Son "What kind?"
His mom "Any kind is fine"
Son get a Pepsi
His mom "Not this kind though"
Oaks19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"There is no onions in the sauce."
originaljayno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't know... ask your father"
Cnkt_founder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always told me that I couldn't ride the shopping cart like a scooter because there was a boy who did that and it flipped over and trapped him under it.
Muddbutt_1996 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
SafetyFirstChildren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
ogreen91301 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's spicy
roosterag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, he's your father.
snufflezzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't worry honey I'm ok"
DuckieRubbers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
T_T Lies, you sociopath!!!
Bassman1976 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll see".
It means "No". Or "Never in my lifetime".
ImRuhn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're not fat, you're big boned"
jrokurwrld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I've got eyes in the back of my head"
Oreo_Scoreo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're handsome
CanadianJogger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
True. Everybody's mom says that to me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
UbergramV2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Going by yourself to buy something? Here is the money, that's probably enough."
result: money not enough, have to admit to cashier that you don't have enough, and can never go back to that store again.
tiny_tims_legs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's cold outside, you need a jacket"
dinosaursandgods ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To my three year old lying is mostly creating wild imaginative stories as we wander around
scottie10014 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This might sting "a bit", followed by application of disinfectant on knee/elbow/etc. Might as well be molten lava. โบ
aerolaze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
we have food at home
c00kies44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're special.
InHerRearWithoutGear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My momma never allowed me to believe in Santa. She said "I'm not gonna let yall think someone else spending money on your gifts." Never really got any though..
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Beauty is inside"
savagekid737373 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"... Well maybe only my mom
thatgrrrl117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
"Everything will be okay."
"You look pretty."
Lamalys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Of course you weren't an accident"
JackHarrison1010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're my favourite child." Most parents don't have favourites.
itsameitsamario ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HAH you're funny :p
SudddZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be whatever you want to be when you grow up"
DiggaTrilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
Gatortasteslikebaby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I believe in you."
robx0r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're such a handsome boy." No, mom. I am not.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow honey, this drawing is beautiful, let me put it on the fridge
simplyatomic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The earlier you go to sleep, the sooner Santa will be here!
vbmnb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
get up its 11:am but actually its 6:am.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's going to be all right"
Damean1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll go blind if you don't leave it alone...
adrianmakedonski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some other kid in some other town died by doing that thing you're doing.
abefroman78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nice try kids
Larkzilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can have it, I'm not hungry."
Friendlyvoices ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably this one: http://m.imgur.com/ibrkU4r
forty_two42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"The best way to stop a bully? Just say 'it takes one to know one.'" Commence 3x the misery. Thanks mum.
ccman93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're special
Fox-Tail93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll be okay." I know you won't be, mom. You're stressed out and you do your best and I'm so proud of you for that. I wish you would just sit down and relax but you have mouths to feed and a family to take care of.
CantChangeUsernames ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm pulling into the driveway now, be ready to leave"
Ten minutes later she finally shows up. Not sure but I don't think our driveway was that long.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
what a hansom boy!
john6644 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom look at me I'm watching dear No you're not!
Bigmurph762 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want
RadioFreeNola ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Women just want a man who is nice and treats them well". That mindfuck takes a while for boys to unlearn.
theRetrograde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus is watching.
Lady_Eemia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
FondSteam39 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
RajuRamlall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're such a handsome boy"
Somzer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mothers are programmed to love their children.
...And love is blind.
Wh0rse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Clause came and he ate that mince pie you left out. he squeezed himself through the keyhole of the door to give you an Xbox .
hxcscarecrow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you tell the truth, you won't get in trouble.
Hubris_by_Nature ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"You're beautiful"
LifeSaTripp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're my favorite child
I_Blame_Whitey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You won't like living at daddy's house."
iduncan10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"you can be anything you want when you grow up"
losersmanual ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're special.
GuidedLazer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"That looks great on you!" I could be wearing a garbage bag and it would still look good to mommy.
grandoak9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your OK
grapefields ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe."
Maybe means "No."
Tuskor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is no tear shampoo. The fuck it is
Octaviuss13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you get any kind of sickness. Fever, cold, broken leg....
"You got _______ because you're not eating right. "
puggatron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HERPES!!!
callmejenkins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That their kids are special snowflakes.
mugiwaraunited ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
holoman123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When she takes your money from all the red envelops that you received during Chinese new year and says: "I'm saving them for you so you don't spend it."
5CHNITZ3L ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're the most beautiful child in the world.
huzza-huzza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A kiss will make it better.
g0_west ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't know", in response to the fifth consecutive "Why?". Or the first, if she can sense a why-chain coming.
Accident7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"eat your peas, they will make you grow tall"
RTCsFinest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We're just stopping at the grocery store." ... 4 hours later, stopped at the post office, bank, JC Penney, picked up dry cleaning.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are so good looking.
jarry1250 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"When it's your house, you can make the rules"
Turns out, when it was my house, it became "I'm still your mother, I make the rules"...
kdcogar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The people who made fools of themselves trying out for American Idol probably received false encouragement from their mothers.
shozabings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are special and handsome
rabbit395 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're beautiful! Of course you will find someone and get married! Yeah...that's not true.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa is always watching - Said two weeks before Christmas
feistyfoodie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That the pain was worth it
l0pht83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It will only hurt for a minute
enjoiali ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"First one to sleep gets a tube of smarties in the morning"
nebno6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I'll play later :(
meowdryhepurrrn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll see." No, Mom. We won't see because you won't ever address my question/comment/concern again after this moment.
twistedtoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're my favorite child"
KacKLaPPeN23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We're only going grocery shopping.
Proceeds to buy one pack of Toast and then dragging you into ALL clothing stores in the whole town.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything will be okay.
creace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
SoftTeddyBear13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll get it next time". At least dads have the decency to just straight up say no when I want a fucking tech deck. I still never built that skate park I wanted to. But love you, Mom <3
apoinde4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is going to be OK..."
Zuzus_Petals1946 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe." Maybe is no.
patchgrrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most common here is "the m&ms are all gone."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have a favorite child
isiordia95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh you wouldn't like this, it's spicy" To younger kids in order to not share their food.
shrewm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll shoot your eye out.
theoldbillybaroo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything's going to be okay.
Rockyrambo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When all of your mothers claim that i haven't fucked them
brentsrage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're gonna do something big someday."
TubesDK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you no matter what".
Accidentally drop a glass and "You twat, I wish you were never born".
Rockyrambo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That i'm not her favorite
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll go blind if you carry on doing that.
TonyMatter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my country: 'I love going to church' - because you need entry for your child to a better school.
FuzzyAss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have eyes in the back of my head
sf3p0x1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus Easter Bunny Tooth Fairy
Jkal91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I will talk about it with dad.
shanemib ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dinner is ready"
ms_kermin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just saying hi to so and so, we'll leave in less than five." Also applies to aunts, grandmother's and any adult female relative
moco94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
BRB
LeonieNowny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you...
Dunkin_Deez_Nuts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I have eyes on the back of my head."
nomogoslo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Ask your daddy" not really a lie but she told him to say no too
TheBumStinkler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"When you lie, your penis shrinks"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Watching too much TV will make your eyes square.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mother knows best
PangKun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you're at the till in a shop and she goes to grab "1 thing" and be right back. Then u wait at the till awkwardly with no money as she comes with another basket and squeezes through the line that built up.
Joe1972 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your dad was my first and only love...not according to reddit mom, not according to reddit
fatmanyolo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can do anything you set your mind to."
"You are unique."
Dooshbaguette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Ignore the bullies and they'll stop."
No. They will crank it up.
Mithridates12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're beautiful.
joshter1210 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's 10 pm now" But it is only 9:15 am lul
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want to be when you grow up!"
vagusnight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favorite child. I love you all equally."
SlimieMaskedUp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No we're not getting a divorce"
caliopy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
a little bird told me
hzaybek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sweety you are so handsome!
Finley88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're handsome.
Johnsmitish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love all my children equally"
Donnelly182 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
W0nderstruck13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe" Or "We'll see"
ChessClubChamp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your father and I love each other very much
PoutineMyBelly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dad is going to the store."
tresanus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I consider it a lie to call my name from across the house and then never respond when I call back. I know you heard me!
Keytrun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you :'(
somedude456 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's on vacation. :(
RileyReidPocketPussy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't sat down all day
puneralissimo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
seaniebeag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Told by parents
Santa Claus
chadburycreameggs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
dajuwilson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nateel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm ok."
rorschach34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're very handsome, son !!
Footyford ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"oh no, it's broken"
In reference to every ride on at stores or any annoying toy in general.
tomoyafux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We love you all the same"
Thloppy-Drunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is going to be ok"
Dragon_Slinky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm super late but "Hide it we can come back for it later". My Mon would always tell me this when I'd want a toy from the store. I'd usually just forget about it lol
morebeansplease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He is your son, he has your hat...
wildfyre010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: This woman shoved you out of her vagina. The least you can do is vaccuum the house.
guitartechie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We aren't getting a divorce
tipsana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything will be alright.
joehov4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"it will get easier"
teelerm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you keeping crossing your eyes like that, they'll stay that way permanently."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"There's no more chocolate left." - me to my 4 year old daughter, while hiding a bag of chocolates on top of my tall wardrobe.
Hehehe...
geocitiesuser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're so handsome" - well mom, I'm 35 years old and still can't get a girl to date me....
archyarch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
syriquez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Statement: "I'll be there at 9:00."
Reality: "I'll be at your house waking you up at 7:15."
Statement: "I'll be ready to leave at 9:00."
Reality: "I'll be ready to leave at 10:05."
Statement: "It'll take me 5 minutes."
Reality: "Hope you brought a book with you when you decided to wait in the car. You'll finish it entirely."
Statement: "Oh shoot, I forgot something, I'll be right back."
Reality: "I'm now going to leave you to stand here awkwardly for 5-10 minutes while the cashier and everybody in line waits for me to get back with the smallest bottle of generic mustard you've ever seen. It was not necessary at all by the way."
Statement: "I'll send a text when I get back, since I know you worry about me driving at night!"
Reality: "I'll remember to send a text roughly 3-4 days from when I was supposed to send the text."
Statement: "This shouldn't take too long."
Reality: 6 weekends later, where each Saturday consists of a 16 hour day with no breaks for meals. "Well that took longer than expected, wow!" No shit.
shemp33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll see..."
Kid: No, Mom. We're hip to that line. That is just a dismissive non-confrontational NO, isn't it.
Myster_Perfect ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
Verylimited ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything's going to be fine"
Premature_Anxiety ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Aw my boy is handsome." In front of everyone. Then you blush. Then she mentions you're blushing. In front of everyone.
Guineapiggea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe later"
BreadCrumbles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your father is a good person."
smashleys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be whatever/whoever you want to be".... as long as it fit in her little square box
YOLOtheRapist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Son, you are handsome." - Got it Ma!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"He ran away"
translagnia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's more of an implicit lie, but expecting "Because I said so" to be a valid rational for doing/not doing something.
narnou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus
waifustealer69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm on my way there / get ready I'll be there soon"
She hasn't even put her shoes on.
coyotes_ate_your_cat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Keep doing that and you'll go blind - or grow hair on your palms.
codblopsII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You will hurt you eyes that close to the tv. You will break the car window open it and closing it so much
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bullies will leave you alone if you ignore them.
bonghits701 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're beautiful, you're handsome
GIS-Rockstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"They were out of [x] at the store."
She forgot.
Ngr101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you keep touching "it", it's gonna fall off.
mjmilino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love all my children the same."
BreadCrumbles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not racist."
iCokahola ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I have eyes on the back of my head", sure mom.
the_lasher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This won't hurt a bit."
Moments before the Doctor gives you a shot of something. Or when you go to the Dentist. Or when she pulls a loose tooth. Or "Insert your own answer here."
mordecais ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have to wait half an hour to swim after you've eaten or you'll drown!
ademnus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything will be all right."
Tucker33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me that if I pick up kittens too much they get sore eyes. Tried googling it a few years ago and found nothing. Now I feel my entire life is a lie
rush2sk8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
recon122334 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are a beautiful young boy!"
DrunkPoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you kids equally"
lookundertherock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stop doing that, your face will end up staying that way.
trappedincubicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've never done any drugs
Hikerbiker85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you wanna be
rodders0223 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dinner's ready!!" Like fuck was it ever ready. Bitch still draining the peas. GTFO of here with that shit.
Chilife92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"they're being mean because they're jealous of you"
Right, mom.
throwavagina ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are a really handsome"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Christianity
Sabrinattje ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
" get up it's 9:00" looks at the time 07:00.
-tobeconfirmed- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything will be ok"
kaylarenee44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you all the same."
MosquitoTerminator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I will love you forever.
We are all gonna die some day.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"They're only growing pains, honey."
Hell if they know what's hurting you, but it's so often and so temporary they can't be concerned with every time your thigh feels weird or something.
GunnerButters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love all my children equally"
themadmex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Below freezing out
Bundle up more or you'll catch a cold!
Ernie_Becclestone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I know what's best for my child"
Chances are you don't.
Larryjacob1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My first thought was, "You're perfect just the way you are." Then I realized that a kid not believing what they heard doesn't mean the parent didn't believe what they said.
I have great parents. JB
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it will be ok
Kevin_O_Loacvick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't eat your last bite, your mother will die.
I am 22 years of age, and when I feel like I can't eat the whole meal, I leave two bites just because I was told this as a kid.
thehollywoodgamers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're adopted".
chowbaaron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: "Dinner's ready!" Me: Goes downstairs, see's dinners not ready, "how much longer?" Mom: "10 minutes. But while you're here, can you set the table?"
Valdiir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Alright, time to go!" Then proceeds to spend 30 minutes+ talking to mom of the friend.
Nueraman1997 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you just tell the truth, you'll get in less trouble than if you lie." Granted, it works well in situations where lying would be obvious, or when you're a little kid (broken lamp, stupid shit, etc). Also, "you can talk to me about anything and i won't get mad". Thought she'd have a stroke when I came out. As a fucking democrat. i love you mom, but you're contradictory as fuck.
crommo99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is a god.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
" Just tell me. I won't get mad." Gets mad
SweetDaddyT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you all the same."
MrReynevan2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Go to sleep or hounds of Tindalos will jump out from under your bed.
ManMuffinTV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a really good drawing
Boxerorbag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want to be in life".
Wings_008 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's 10 o'clock already!"
It's actually 8:30 in human time...
VirginTaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you son."
Old_Grau ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can do anything when you grow up!
Cynicayke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favourite, I love you all equally."
Oakwood2317 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience? Every piece of dating advice she ever gave me, seriously.
Cael87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
CubicleJoe0822 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you keep crossing your eyes, they'll get stuck that way forever".
I was young and believed her. I was so scared that I never did it again.
Streptomicin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tomorrow!
sweaterdresses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never tried smoking/drinking/drugs.
Yeah thats right mom, I got drunk with your sister one night, ya small town slut.
CyricV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're special."
yakBnimble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Stop making that face, it'll freeze that way"
AndreasKralj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
savethedrama4urmomma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dinosaurs couldn't fit on Noah's ark. And that's why they aren't alive today
stephmveg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My son is at that age where hes questioning everything. Recently he realized the concept of death. So he's been asking a lot about it. He asked ," What if I die?" And I had this moment of hmm I strongly believe in if a child asks a question they should get an honest answer, but he's only five. So I said, "I promise I won't let that happen." I knew i was lying. I can control that but I promise that I would do anything in the world to try to keep that promise. I feel sad just writing this.
dolo_lobo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Wake up, you're late."
Andyoralan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "mum, when's Easter?"
Mum: "after Christmas honey."
Nah!! It's a good few months after. Had me waiting round for ages thinking it's just coming round the corner.
getinmyx-wing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not trying to critique you, butโฆ" Frequently said before a long tirade about how I need to change everything I've ever done and rethink my entire life.
This happened this morning literally en route to the hospital after I called her to come get me because I was bleeding heavily and didn't trust myself to drive without passing out. Thanks, mom.
x_Sinister_x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can do it."
LilSeBrady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The existence of god
austinwolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Youre unique and special and I love you"
Roach_the_Coach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Mom told me that if I pulled the E-brake in the car our house would catch on fire. That's a common one right?
TCamp3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your face will get stuck like that"
CervixAssassin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are beautiful and smart"
BantKane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Something dirty was said on TV that I didn't understand as a kid, and whenever I asked my mom what they mean't her response was always "I don't know dear"
tree_squid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"My child would never do that."
mrwatts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It'll be alright"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My son called me out on this one today. "In a little bit". It's never in a little bit. His response was "you always say that but take forevvvverrrr". He's four.
MattsWorldoWonders ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're special. You're not special.
samzplourde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, you don't want that, you'll ruin your ice cream later!
Ice cream never comes.
StinkieBritches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not the biggest, but pretty high up is...If you pick your nose, a booger is going to bite the end of your finger off.
K4UR1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are gonna be handsome/beautiful man/woman
Ba-alzabro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything will be alright."
Beepbeepimadog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Very great things that all kids should be told, to a degree, but 99% of the time these actually hold no water.
retroly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're very hamdsom.
spelljacj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who is the father?
fructis1404 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's your father!
CarlEatshands ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It doesn't hurt. I promise."
I'll never forgive her for the wart removal of '04.
obserris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I LOVE your drawings, I raised such a talented child !"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll see."
We won't see.
dyerwulf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably not common, but, when my siblings and I were young, we would pass a McDonalds and ask our Mom if we could stop. She would say "Hmm, what day is it?"
"Wednesday!" Then she'd say "Ohhhh, shucks. McDonalds is closed on Wednesdays!" and just keep driving. It wasn't until I was much older I figured out that McDonald's was open 7 days a week. In hind sight, i'm glad she didn't take us to McDonalds.
weliketobass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm going to bed, goodnight!" I usually take this to mean I'll see you 5-6 more times when you come out of your room because you forgot to do something.
drugmonet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're special"
miserable-failure ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"My son would never do that".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No son your not a disappointment"
EffyJeffy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
iamtrroy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i love you
Aidiera ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's my job to worry about you."
No it's not live your own damn life.
SummersOnSwift ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This won't hurt.
RunRabbitRun49 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When people are visiting, apologizing for the mess and saying they didn't have time to clean. They've really been cleaning for 3 hours.
xsynrg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wake up! It's 7:00am!!
MilleniumForce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to tell me that the ice cream truck was just the music truck. Thank god my grandfather put an end to that
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you" (Prooceeds to leave)
dedokta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Those kids are teasing you because they are jealous of you.
kidhiro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Daddy and I were "wrestling"
Sollace97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum told me that when I lied I got a black line down my tongue. I've never put much thought into it, but I am now wondering if this is a common statement among mothers?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa, Tooth fairy,God, Easter bunny are real
grass_cutter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Only crazy people masturbate"
Im_ah_lunatic_Pm_me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll shoot your eye out
Kiloku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh my god, it's 2 in the morning, go to bed!"
Clock says 00:36
zeyals ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It'll all be ok
IceCream_and_Chess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you is a good one.
yenks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
Ta2whitey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They will love you just the way you are.
jsneeb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dinner's ready!
( yeah, I can come now and help come set up the table, or come in 10 minutes and have food ready )
Sarcastyx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say the sense of entitlement that parents instill in middle-class children. I.e., saying "you're so smart!" as praise for a success, rather than "you really worked hard and achieved that!"
OmegaZero55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I read some study saying you shouldn't be linking intelligence to good work, since it could make your child afraid of failing and scared of looking dumb. Failing is natural and doesn't mean you're stupid.
It is much better to emphasize that they did a good job, and to praise them when they really worked for something.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
what happened to wordcloud bot, would be great for thid question
Shippuudenfreak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my mother has died
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"It will not hurt" when disinfecting wounds or right before a syringe is showed into your arm
EDIT: At least that is what i think mine would say...
IrishPub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you".
coday182 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me and my brothers that the crust was the healthiest part of bread. So we need to eat it. Then when I got older, it hit me. It's the same as the rest of the bread, just more burnt.
RubbishBinJones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're the most handsome boy in thw whole world"... Lies, all lies.
YungOgFox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're special"
Smell_Da_Glove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Telling your child that they are special is the biggest lie you can tell them.
godzingisthagod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"you're the cutest boy on the team!"
mom i get no cheeks
yobsmezn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"of course he's your father"
Gravityflexo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your a special child
OsamaBinFuckin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love my husband and I would never cheat on him"
JKJKJKJK But really tho that's true according to every Milfhunter video ever.
Mperorpalpatine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are a handsome young man!"
suchsmalllhands ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favorite, I love you all the same" really mom? Then why is my brother eating chocolate and I'm chained to furnace??
IronedShirts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom, can I buy this item or get this candy?
"maybe on the way out"
Sirmutswa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want.
pm-me-your-boops ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe" No you little punk, it's not gonna happen! But mommy does not wanna hear you have a fit because I said no so I'm gonna just say maybe to shut your pie hole.
TheDoctorDi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:06:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See also: "I'll think about it."
Pokiestt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Watching TV is bad"
... But Gotham is sooooo good!
camelCasing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Of course you're special."
You're pretty ordinary, just like the rest of us.
3monster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love all you kids the same.
Muckracker_Joe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you!"
WreckingRaven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're the most beautiful child ever"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want to be."
TyrannyVengeance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
ahamedshahabuddinbd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am nearest the house
freedomfries76 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll see"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
(Just upvote whoring here ;) )
CANADA1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa clause IS real!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have eyes in the back of my head.
Pioneer94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sorry, I'm just tired" ....you just reemed me out over nothing for an actual EXHAUSTING 45 minutes... I forgot to close the microwave...
-if-by-whiskey- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Tell me the truth, I won't get mad."
SaulJoker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll only let you play with your ___ after you do ___ for me."
does it
"Whoops, look at the time, guess it's time for bed now."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I miss talking to you" - Hasn't called me in the past three weeks, except once to yell at me.
"We care about you" - No, you're related to me and just hate breaking up the set.
Whenindoubtdo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is one of the funniest threads I've seen in a while.
jaywa1king ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I promise I'll quit drinking tomorrow."
Timmy_T3h_Pwnge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That your ears will turn red for lying
cboski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It won't hurt a bit
Slazman999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I will never let anything bad happen to you"
"I will never leave you"
"You are the best son/daughter anyone could have"
"You can be anything you want"
The list goes on.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That there's an eye in the back of their head.
ZHughesii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
" I Love you " Is a pretty good one.
nevernudefoundation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll see" or "I'll think about it". It means no. There will be no thinking about it.
nilikon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I won't let anything happen to you." I desperately wish that this wasn't a lie.
I_AM_YOUR_WEINER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"this is your mom, and you, you are not my baby"
HansCarabonala ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are a beautiful boy, Mark"
TirsoJRP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because I said it!
fakeplastictrees87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You have to be a nice guy with girls."
MisterAsinus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is no monsters under the bed.
penguinpizzaparty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's no monsters in the closet
MontanaSD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you dont dry your hair after a shower you will get sick. I grew up thinking water meant sickness.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'You're special'...........on second thoughts maybe she meant retarded =(
Dorrin12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are special!" or "Everything will be alright"... I can't decide which is a bigger lie.
DrPolaroid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey, need to ask you something real quick." - Me as a 30 yr old male on the phone with mom 47 minutes later.
betta-believe-it ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe another time" when we barraged her about buying treats and shit. Another time is a thing that doesnt exist and never comes. If you hear mom say that, either run away and get a new mom or steal it.
BoxxerUOP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was onsale so it didn't cost that much.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are special
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I see the comments I'm not sure to wanna become mom if it's for lie so much ๐ฒ
sonia72quebec ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ignore them and they will stop bothering you.
SubjectiveHat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Of course its yours!!"
BuzzBuzzBuzz16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favourite (sibling)"
....
im_a_smart_one ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Rover ran away."
SubjectiveHat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Of course I am on birth control!"
Flowerpower1316 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm never going die honey. Now go back to sleep"
reboundcompression ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My child is really smart
lacee_45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not actually calling Santa, Minnie Mouse, or Dory because you won't each your vegetables. My screen in black, and I'm having an imaginary conversation while people at the restaurant think I'm batshit crazy.
Also, you ate your fucking vegetables so score for mommy.
Having a very opinionated 3 year old tests me more than anything. I just want you to be healthy!
PunkZdoc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have to wait 30 minutes after eating to swim.
I mean god bless my mother because I don't think she knew but no that wont cause cramps
Thewhistlego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reading these has me deep in my mom guilt hahaha...us mothers have legit reasons for saying this stuff! You'll get older, have kids, they'll make you want to drink in a closet with a straw, and you'll look at your mom with such a deep appreciation for every time she wanted to let wolves raise you but then decided against it. Hahah all in jest..but go really, go bug your dad.
scamperly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're such a handsome boy".
fergturdeson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
jakafina ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The ______ is closed. Park, theatre, pool, McDonald's, toy store, ect...
Source: Am a mother.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"it's your baby"
bondaxsnake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't pick your nose, your nostrils will get bigger"
sluggyjunx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything will be OK.
Pewpewkitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
While at a clothing store:
"Why don't you leave it here, we can find something better at another store. If we don't find anything better we'll come back here before we leave."
I never remembered to go back :(
oz_moses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"we'll see"
fatherdave1517 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll get you Heelys in the summer, you can't use them in the winter." 6 months later. "It's going to be winter soon. Maybe you'll get Heelys for Christmas"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If the wind changes, your face will stay like that"
Whadafack you on 'bout mum?
MaybeTomorrow_Maybe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I swear I won't pull your tooth out! I just wanna see it and check how wobbly it is" 5 seconds later ....
bobvex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're going to break your neck
Dokahuna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
santa exists
Shoryuhadoken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can become the president of the united states - Jeb bush's mom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dad is your Father
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
Jobilk1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Put a hat on or you'll get a cold" even though body heat is not mainly lost through the head.
jeffreyclarkejackson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
santa
wzd_cracks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's 7:30 am when in reality is 6:00 . I hated that so much
PixelJakob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa is real
--bohica-- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"There's no such thing as monsters."
PhoTorgrapher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"That's nice dear"
flux_capacitor3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That your dog is in heaven. Nope. Half of him is on the other side of the street, Mom.
OG-AUSSIE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't go in there the boogieman is going to get you" i know its a lie but lowkey im still kinda spooked
TippingMyHat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've read several places that a ton of women regret having kids and often feel to ashamed to actually admit this, which sucks for everyone because everyone would be better off if they had a more realistic situation of what raising a child can be like (for the record, men feel this way, but I feel like it's less taboo for them to say).
RelevantDublinHines ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Asian Mom Lies -
If you accidentally eat watermelon seeds, you'll grow a watermelon in your stomach.
If you don't take out the splinter in your finger, it'll travel through your blood and get into your heart and you'll die.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't smoke pot, you'll end up lazy and stupid."
Polengoldur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"my child would never do that"
Raichu7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For my mum the biggest lie was "I promise", anything she promised never happened.
MrZodiacdragonfruit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Video games/TV rotS your brain
Tawny_Harpy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
Yeah you didn't love me so much after dad assaulted me and when I called the cops you went, "If dad goes to jail then you don't get to come back to my house."
You didn't love me so much when I started dating a guy you didn't like, and you and my entire family convinced him to break up with me. Here I was thinking everything was fine.
You didn't love me so much when my brother's twattoy was stealing my stuff and you shrugged and said there was nothing you could do about it.
You didn't love me so much when just last night I attempted mermaid make up and thought it actually came out pretty good, and you and dad both just said it's stupid.
a_smith51 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa is real
KyleIsSweaten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was younger I would always ask for things when I went shopping with my mom. The response was ways, "We can get it next time." Took me a few years to learn that she really meant "No."
cheesecrystal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want to be.
hood125 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm almost home!"
JuanTawnJawn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Being Portuguese (living in Canada) this is a no go. You don't fuck around with food in my house.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's no such thing as monsters...
FreshJuice60 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Of course you can have the last piece of cake, I didn't want any anyway......"
thing24life ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're beautiful.
RaptorCaptain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"A little boy I knew got hurt/was killed doing exactly that."
Le_Chop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I course I wanted you...
kevinzak76 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, I'm not ovulating right now.
podolski39 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"There's food at home"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It will all be ok
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Somehow I'm not surprised this post is so popular on reddit. The mommy issues abound here.
cyclebiker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you drink coffee, you'll stunt your growth!"
Zala-Sancho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll love you no matter what you choose
rotopete4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I need to go to the __________ store to pick up a few things."
Also, Santa Claus.
666kat666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not cheating on you"
If they aren't single
batmanisntsuper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
cosjoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favorite, I love you all the same."
AnGabhaDubh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Not today"
icecreammmcone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa is real
somesketchykid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"How do you know?"
"Because I'm your mother and I know everything"
No, kids are just a bad liars.
PleiadesSeal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This is your father."
Jaymuhson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've got eyes on the back of my head
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Why?" "Because i know best."
Heretical ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The people that stock the gumball/candy despencers in stores pick their noses
CompartmentalizeMyBi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, most people do so she isn't wrong.
KingKongYe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now that me and my siblings are out of the house, the most common lie my mom tells us is the time an event is starting when we're all getting together. "Be over at 4:00 for Thanksgiving", and without fail the rest of the family doesn't show up until 4:45 or 5. It got so bad that we all started showing up a half hour after my mom told us to come, which is probably what she expected and why she started this whole circus in the first place.
When I confront her about it she always just stone cold denies it. Fucking drives me bonkers.
The3xHelix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"That is not my son" - my mom
Deathgice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're the coolest". :c
bhatch729 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
With my mom, it was always, "Let me take just one picture!" of my siblings and I. Always wound up being closer to 10.
jeffxt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You will get presents this year"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's going to be okay"
knyg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"come here. dinner is ready!"
michigan_man8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
krucz36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything will be OK.
eatmandarins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You wouldn't like this food, child. It's spicy." As the mom eats a delicious treat she isn't willing to share.
Vapodaca17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you :(
gnmpolicemata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your <insert pet name here> went to a wonderful place" when it dies.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Fido lives on a farm now."
Jagd3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Well if you can save up your own money for it then I'll let you buy it." That usually turned into the "well I didn't think you would actually save up for it. I really don't think it's a good idea so no you cant have it."
BoudKabouter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus is watching you.
AnonKnowsBest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The dreaded "Maybe"
Cowcrusader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can do anything you want in life :(
nurse_bonbon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you" ha!
sheikheddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You weren't a mistake"
bhatch729 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"we'll see," which always meant no but always got my hopes up
krazykanuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're special.
Cause you aren't.
AmazinglyMagicToast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That if you go too close to the TV you'll get square eyes
ChittyShops ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ask mom if she's sleeping. "No, I'm just resting my eyes."
Muted3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You look so handsome"
andielyricn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The quiet game
Warneger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This is spicy"
happysnappah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For me? "That's really interesting," when one of my kids is rambling on and on about something I could not give less of a shit about.
nezrock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You were always my favorite child.
bigdickdaddyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
papers_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Stop or el cucuy is going to get you." ๐
justinbeiber420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course I went through with the abortion
sheikheddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just one more bite, last one. Wouldn't you do this for mommy? Last one, come on, I promise.
Now one more.
Every. Damn. Morsel.
M00glemuffins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Anything after the words "As a mother..." Is usually outright b.s
Sands2038 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything will be ok"
Mahzzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
Mahzzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
News flash. My parents don't love me.
unturbat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's your dad.
theJCAtx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
Ceeker95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are the most handsome man i know"
saketuyas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"you won't like soda it's spicy!" Me to my kid so she doesn't get addicted to soda like the other kids I see.
Iwaskatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It going to be alright, I promise.
Zerichon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be whatever you want to be.
BigPudge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
your favorite toy she took away because it was annoying or whatever,
"It's lost i dont know where it is"
arclathe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Eat the brown part of the banana. It's sugar.
jormungandr_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Keep making that face and it'll get stuck that way."
wip30ut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
well judging by the gazillion bumper stickers on mommy-mobile crossovers, every single kid must be an Honor Student at their school!
Anonperson94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well idk about my own, but OP's mom told me my dick is big.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that somehow the crust is the healthy part of the bread? It's just cooked more God damn it!
Crusilux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's spicy
Obadiah1991 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
Vimsum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How kids are made
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"everything is going to be okay"
LordShugesh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Inshallah
Galfonz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If that is what God wants?
lostinvegas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That the ice cream man was caught pissing in the ice cream. I suppose that could have been true but I think she was trying to get us not to bug her for ice cream.
fuckingstonedrn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'dad went out to get milk he'll be home later today'
15 years ago
LawGinger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favorite child." O.o
InsaneFPSGamer1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently it's "You're my favorite child"he
monkeiboi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Beware of strangers!"
Actually you should be wary of Uncle Kevin.
greggo39 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Uncle Kevin was gay. What are you trying to say?
Fedefyr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I dont have a favourite child" Lies! All parents have a favourite kid, and if you didnt know that, you werent the favourite.
Leethorne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll/I'll do it tomorrow" my mom always used this one me... tomorrow never came
usetheion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you play with it too much, it will fall off.
wheatfields ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favorite." I have a friend who had two kids by the time she was 20. 10 years later I asked her if she had a favorite, and after a few drinks and constant pestering she admitted all parents have a favorite, they just can NEVER admit it.
ThePerson2525 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A have a mother friend who admitted to having a favorite while see was high. And if I had to be honest, I'm probably the favorite too. To be as vague as possible...I was the least amount of grieve for my parents. Still am.
firematt422 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can do anything you want if you put your mind to it."
Fidget101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, the place you want to go to is closed. (Works on younger kids)
apljee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gonna get buried, but for me it's "Tell the truth and we wont be mad."
Gato1486 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It won't hurt/only hurt for a second and you won't even feel most of it" and "It doesn't taste bad/tastes like something you like!"
marcky35 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are beautiful
Spino92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother always said: "Don't watch to much TV, or your eyes will become squares!"
When I was really young that scared my off, but after I got my Playstation I stopped caring :)
isodore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe in the next life
TheGreatMischief ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom would lie about places she didn't want me to go. "That arcade you want to go to, I heard someone got shot there," "You're going to eat where? Oh, that place is so dirty." "That's area of town is not a good neighborhood." On rare occasions she was actually right, the rest was all BS.
SlipperyQuark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"Oh, you're looking for that thing you love that I feel like you're too old to be playing with now? I have no idea where it could be."
wgdvs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"They don't make replacement batteries for that toy"
batyablueberry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you more than anything" then you hear her say that to your brothers, and your sisters, and your dad, and the mailman.... ;(
Northern-Gannet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your beautiful just the way you are honey"... :'(
ThaGerm1158 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you put your mind to... Um, you mean little Jimmy over there who's been shoving grilled cheese up his nose for the last 30 minutes? Sorry mom, not happening.
theycallmebowl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Aw honey, you're so handsome!"
cubsfan2154 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll think about it"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm taking these gerbils back to the pet store.
Dragonfly42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your face will get stuck that way."
"Nobody will play with you if you don't take a bath."
"Clean your room or I'm taking all your toys to goodwill"
flowergirl78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When the icecream truck plays music, they're out of icecream.
Hebroohammr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you".
NewMexicoJoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My 7 year old asked "Where's 98 PXY on this radio?" My response "Oh, Sorry, this radio doesn't get 98 PXY" (I had a new radio installed and my old son had developed a taste for awful top 40 music.) The scam worked for at least months.
pikxel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's only a 5 minute walk. In reality by minute she means mile.
jdmnash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
Sarcastic-Prick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're pretty."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
Ariviaci ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want to when you grow up.
SweetMalice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I never did those things when I was your age"
heyeveryonewhatsup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Just take some Tylenol, you'll be fine"
aerojonno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of you.
slimereader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"That sign says they're out of Happy Meals."
Big_but_not_hairy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Anything about giving birth that doesn't mention that the pain and fluid discharge is the stuff of nightmares.
Mississippimoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course I still love your daddy.
lightning_balls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
definitely not how handsome i am
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're ok. Get up. You're fine." - in an anxious panicked voice.
tfrules ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're a handsome boy. I'm ginger
jughead8152 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let me kiss it and make it better!
Semper_Fi_Cerberus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
You here this one all the time, especially with the new ones
VoidrayMK57 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll tell you when you're older".
Bullshit.
RearQueen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you, son.
lead999x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be whatever you want if you work hard.
IBurnedMyBalls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Food's ready"
hennytime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't sit so close to the TV. You'll get cancer/bad eyes/go deaf/herpes
Jelese111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not tired
Ozone23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your dad is on a business trip!"
Snazzy_Serval ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Girls prefer a gentleman.
blakarot9000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This is going to hurt me more than its going to hurt you"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't have sex until I was married. You shouldn't either.
GrwnUpPonyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny...all that shit drives me crazy.
absolutcheshire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything's going to be fine."
Ryankag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are beautiful :'(
Bohnanza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me that there was a little black cloud that followed me everywhere. She was lying, I hope.
Haroldie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am currently waiting at O'Hare airport for my mother who said we would fly in at the same time. I landed at 11:45. Turns out she doesn't land until 2. I could have flown in and landed 30 minutes after her but that's too long for her to wait.
Galfonz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Go wherever you needed to go. Call her 30 min after her flight landed. "Oh, I found out your plane got in late so I left". Make her get her own transportation. She's a grown up.
jessekah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're okay" as you hold your 2 year old whose coughing wildly with croup and inside hoping they continue to breathe with each cough.
TehKatieMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I definitely ate your candy, but I'm going to tell you I lost it, or convince you you must have ate it already. ;P
seidler1985 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want"
TheRoseIsJustAsSweet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus is real.
CitizenTed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother told this one over and over: "If you don't behave we're going to sell you to the gypsies!"
No sale ever occurred.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always took us to get ice cream and claimed it was just a treat cause we've been "good". Then when we were finished somehow we ended up in the doctors office getting shots. To this day I never trust an ice cream run.
Galfonz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:41:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least she wasn't an Anti-Vaxer.
drunkengeisha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"That's not weed, I'm burning sage."
Nice try mom. I knew what weed smelled like.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're so pretty! All the guys will fight for you."
ithone4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That Goldfish are okay.
blackchinesecowboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"you look so handsome!"
Li0nhead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Both your arms are broken"
rblue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"A mother's love is unconditional."
spec1alsnowflake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love OP"
poto-cabengo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I initially read this as " I love DP"
spec1alsnowflake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You might want to give porn a rest, for a bit
SkubaStewart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This is your father."
SergeantGrapefruit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Daddy loves you he just went to the grocery store."
brewllicit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eat every grain of rice or your wife will be ugly.
Acleftie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm ready."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You look beautiful/handsome.
cloow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Take a big heaping spoonful of the mash potatoes they are good for you.. It was mashed cauliflower..
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It'll all be OK."
misslolomarie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Mother knows best!"
atheistRN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be/do anything you want
beartheminus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It turns out they do make bigger diapers...
CherryWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't hurt at all!
SirOfFinance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
delmar42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There was this one from my mother regarding the people bullying me: "They're just jealous of you." I actually said that to one of the bullies. You can imagine how well that one went over. Even today, I still kind of want to rub that bully's lips into her metal braces.
13pts35sec ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That you're a very handsome young man/ beautiful young lady
bigj8705 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That everything will be ok.
darknessvisible ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry doctor, I don't know how it could have happened, but he/she died.
kurai_tori ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I love you both equally, I don't have a favorite
PvtSteamBath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're Handsome"
:(
huoyuanjiaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People IIT don't understand what the word "common" means.
ALittleFrittata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom never lied to me. At the time, I thought the reason was that she wasn't "maternal" enough, or maybe she was mean. I'm 32 now, and I'm glad she never lied.
Just one example, because I have many: I thought she was heartless when she said "You're going to faint in a second," that time she had to pour hydrogen peroxide on a severe laceration in my foot. She's supposed to be motherly! I wanted comfort! Her saying things like "You'll be fine, babby!" But no.
Then she caught me when I fainted. She'd warned me and braced herself at the same time.
NewShoes4U ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Devils come from hell beneath us.
Rainbowape ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"That picture is soooo good"
Trump-Tzu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not to sit too close to the TV or your eyes will get messed up.
NeoSaikz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you watch tv for too long, your eyes will become squares.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Keep making that face and it'll get stuck that way." To this day I have no idea if that's true or not and I'm too scared to find out. I'm 27.
Rawbbeh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your face will freeze that way!
tjtom3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"He's just a friend"
xkulasx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your father will be back soon" 27 years later still haven't seen him....
FredAsta1re ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't know" when asked what she wants to do (mainly choice of restaurant or takeaway)
And then "Maybe not" to every suggestion that isn't the specific thing she wants to do
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always had the dream of moving to my grandpas farm when I was older, living and working there. My mom promised me growing up that some day it would pass on to us kids. She started pressuring my grandma to sell our piece 3 months after he passed, for herself..
Roarkindrake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What time it is...
eenergabeener ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can get pregnant by sitting on a boy's lap."
SparkleyRedOne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents told me the ice cream man was the record man and he was playing samples of the records he had for sale...
TRUHVAS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When they say they forgot that you wanted anything from the shop
Mnemonics19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if you're my mother it's that she was in the Olympics and Steve Martin was our uncle...
First thing my kids are being taught is not to trust Grandma.
TheRisingBuffalo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you" :(
sn1kl3fritz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Me and dad are wrapping Xmas presents." Kids: "but it's July"
BertJPDXBKLN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I slept great last night"
BiellSdS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're beautiful"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Be good or ghosts will eat your toes.
balrogwarrior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On a trip when I was about 6, I kept asking my mom who was driving to "look at that" and "did you see that?". Finally, she snapped, "balrogwarrior, I don't have eyes in the back of my head!"
Without missing a beat I said, "AHA!"
AngryBigMac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some mom to her child. #dicksoutforharambe
rbell786 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything's gonna be okay
Dovahkiin_- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll think about it" - in other words: no f**king way will I let my child do that
Baskin5000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Santa's real"
ImGunnaSayit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not going to tell you again.
hardlyasakedrinker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother used to tell me before Christmas to take the phone and without dialing say what presents do i want. She told me that Santa is listening and writing down all of my wishes.
constantinaruth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Let me feel your forehead to see if you are lying"
darkslyfo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When a baby is crying, I always hear mothers say 'I know, I know'...
obeysanta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's just baby fat, it'll come off when you hit your growth spurt". I haven't grown since 14, but she says it to this day.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"What a hansom young man you are!"
MrsLadyLaLa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You were planned"
Runnor2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We're almost there.
lrosiclair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want to be
TedTheAtheist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Wear a jacket. It's cold outside and you can get sick."
No, mom, you can't get sick from being merely cold.
GreenShirtedWhiteBoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents let my dog out on purpose where it got hit by a car and told me it was an accident.
13BravoFA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mommy will always be right here for you....=(
Pretty_Sure_Im_Dead_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want to
SafeBetCarWreck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I have no idea what happened to that chocolate you just had last night, honey."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are no monsters.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll tell you when you're older"
AdamBry705 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The more you touch it the higher chance it has of falling off.
Jokes on you mom 24 years later and I'm not a leper
ErniePhan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It won't hurt
damadcrapper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You look terrific
lowendpro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dinner's ready" then theres at least 15 more minutes of waiting to eat before dinners actually "ready"
NipperMooney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love all my children equally
50shadesofgreatness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That food is Spicey when it's not lol
forgiveme_iam_french ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom is deaf. Didn't tell me anything.
selfishjean5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, I'm not gona pull your tooth, I just want to have a good look at it.
damadcrapper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love your father
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, it gets better when your older.
Fucking lies
grksask ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This won't hurt a bit"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That our gold fish lived to be 8 years old... Pretty sure we went through about 50 of those little orange guys.
eggplnt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll think about it."
Globus_CSGO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That i am the most beautiful on Earth...
IStillLikeChieftain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honesty is the best policy.
No, no it isn't. People absolutely do not want to hear the truth, unless either:
a. The truth conforms to what they want to hear
b. They're your boss and wanting to get you in trouble.
jedikiller420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you keep doing that with your face it will stay like that.
Toenailclipingz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you and your brother equally
damadcrapper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's your uncle Leroy who stayed over last night...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe not a common lie, but my mom told me and my brother a pretty hilarious one.
When we were kids (maybe 9 and 12) we got two guinea pigs. We thought we would like having them, but after a few months of having to clean the shit out of their cage every day, we grew tired of them. We never actually asked our mom to give them away or anything, but nonetheless...
We come home from school one day and the pigs are gone and so is the cage. My mom explains that she was at the pet store and struck up a conversation with a woman who offered to take them. My mom knew we didn't want them anymore, so she let the lady have them.
As far as I knew, this was the truth. Until about 15 years later (I kid you not), she reveals that it was all a lie. She took the guinea pigs to a nearby field, dropped them off in the bushes, and tossed the cages in the trash.
Seriously mom?!?
tool6913ca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're normal and people like you".
Oh, sorry, I thought you meant YOUR mother.
___Chef___ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I just need to get a gallon of milk and eggs. It will take 5 minutes."
pm-me-your-keyboard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is going to be ok."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa and the Easter Bunny?
Jonshock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its just baby fat. No mah im obese we dont need butter in salad.
EWSTW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That I'm a handsome young man and I'd have a line of women wanting to date me
sk2721 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa :|
Swinetrek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're so pretty/handsome."
Dickinmymouth1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"When the ice cream man plays the song it means he's run out of ice cream"
ConcentricSD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Negative on the sjw part. I work in a machine shop, cut grass for side $, fix whatever I can on the house and cars, and am a pretty regular guy. I just don't mind cooking, and when I do cook I do it all the way.
bugginryan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Eat your vegetables. It'll put hair on your chest."
cheshire_cat_86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That daddy just went out for a pack of smokes and will be back in a little..... *sob *
easycoast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always told me that she had eyes in the back of her head.
EricKei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She does. So did all of your teachers.
ludlology ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want to be"
20sat92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
antmansclone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is no chocolate.
popgropehope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You cant swim for 2 hours after eating."
Read as: "I don't want to watch you in the water right now. Shut up and play in the sand"
Actually that's mostly dads.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Two more minutes!
Bradderz_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your not adopted"
brianzellmer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
0rangePulp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I care about you.
Anonymous_Steve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's just to help you relax until your arms heal."
coolkid1717 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was really young I burnt myself on something hot. I think I touched the grill. From then on if my parents didn't want me to touch something they would just say "don't touch that. It's hot!" Incidentally my first word was hot.
alexderrick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently my mom would move the clocks ahead so that she could convince me it was my bedtime an hour early. I don't think this is common among mothers, but for her it was.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mothers notorious for saying food is still good. "Hey mom is this lunchmeat still good? Oh yeah I just got it the other day." Proceed to make sandwich and take a bite out of slimy bad lunchmeat. Never again have I fully trusted my mother. I make her take a bite of things I ever question
Creepy_Boner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Whenever the Ice Cream Truck is playing that music, it means that they're out of ice cream."
mexicantruffle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're such a handsome boy".
Bahmerman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You were handsome...once.
houseofleopold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"someday you'll understand why I am doing this."
no, I won't โ and you'll still be a bitch.
Invoker11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are enough Edit - Some people need a lot of work LOL
Be yourself - Some people should be themselves, Some people shouldn't, some people should avoid people who don't like different [ even if it's not bad] LOL
You are the smartest - Obviously most people aren't and there is nothing wrong with that
robbiecol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was about 5 my mother told me my pet bunny went to the bunny farm because "that's just what bunnies do after a certain age"... And I actually believed her.... For a long time.
kegan707 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Boogeyman is not real.
Khogewerf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
slorebear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"i enjoy my life"
not_a-replicant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If the ice cream truck is playing music - that means they're out of ice cream...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmother said this to my dad as a kid. He was furious when he found the truth.
BigBoz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jet fuel can't melt steel beams.
House_Slytherin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"One more minute"
MrMojo39 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Because I said so."
evilchefwariobatali ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
church ends
mom: "I'm just gonna go say hi to Brother Rod real quick"
30 minutes of me sitting alone in the car later
Mom texts: "just a few more minutes, sorry we got to talkin'"
Every fucking time..
PKAferDays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe" or "we'll see"
jasondfw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything is going to be okay.
Citizen_Snips29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Told to teenage boys: "If you shave your beard it'll grow back thicker!"
No, shaving does not make hair grow back faster or thicker. Your mom just didn't want you looking like Patches O'Houlihan so she kept telling you this until you were old enough to grow a decent looking beard.
AverageWhite_Male ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bet it's pretty common for some moms to do but my mom told me that every time the ice cream man had his music playing he was out of ice cream. Jokes on you mom. I'm lactose intolerant.
server_busy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To this day I have yet to develop hairy palms
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Those kids are just making fun of you because they're jealous".
Strawberrycocoa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I have eyes in the back of my head".
Parted her hair to look at her scalp one day while she was napping. No hidden back-of-head eyes. So disappointed.
BenjiKoi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
howeyroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are special! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are beautiful.
BertJPDXBKLN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I put my relationship with my husband ahead of our child"
vulcanparrot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe Later"
WotsTheCraic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
hooty88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's just Mommy's friend, you should go outside and play today, sweetie.
saisharan007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you" lying hoe
mbay1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"stop making that face or it will get stuck like that"
amagoober ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you and your sister equally" we all know there is a favorite.
AlNemSupreme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's good for you.
sadmadmen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
HolyMollyGodBless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Those aren't the actual golden arches, it's just a sign to say there's a McDonald's close by.
Lukescale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"There isn't a monster in your closet honey."
Like fuck there isn't, I heard it make the growlly noise like the A/C does when its hot.The A/C isn't on, so the only explanation is monsters.
Kirb- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
El cucuy.
danyellows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
" you are the most beautiful or hansdesome girl/boy in the world!" I have often seen this said by mothers to their kids. It makes me wonder, are their mother's that secretly find their kids obviously unattractiv ?
HandofTheKing1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Animals went to the animal farm.
downvoteifyouagree87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I will have sex with you if you break your arms"
blackcoffiend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I promise I won't be mad, just tell me the truth."
Rhinomeat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you play with that you'll go blind/get hairy palms
I_brought_the_tp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm on my way...
jenahay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll think about it."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you/s.
prollynotreally ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
Ransackery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Driving by the public park at 4:00 PM from the babysitters to go home, "Sorry, park is closed today."
fedupwithpeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow... TIL some of you have really shitty parents.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We'll see if we can do it later.
knollknows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"El Cucoy" Latin Moms....
Franky2shoes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't touch the nest, the mother will never come back.
No, you just don't want me to touch the nest...
paperman84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are beautiful.
ScarOfAngels ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
Algebrax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you too"
jedi-son ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything happens for a reason. Fucking hate when girls say this shit to me and I remember my mom saying it to me when I was a kid so I'm assuming that's where the get it. Go hang out in an oncology ward for a few days and tell me if you believe that. Sorry to be bleak but life just doesn't work that way.
Flipcandoit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We sent your dog to a farm
Dark_Penguin_Rider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You look handsome!"
Giggybyte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
when she tells me i'm handsome
StitchM8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wanting to buy something but then having to be told by your mum that "we already have that at home" happens on a daily basis for me lol
athennna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Eat it, it's chicken."
Qbag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's your baby.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When the ice cream van is playing a song, it means they're out of ice cream
RagingAzn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This hurts me more than it hurts you...
krankkinder12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you too.
notashleyjudd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've got eyes in the back of my head.
PeteySupreme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
victoriavague ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'You're a very pretty girl' pffffft
avagent007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You were planned
enterfunnyusername ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The batteries died :(
JesusUnoWTF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It gets better."
No, but if you change your outlook, you won't know the difference.
zeus296 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Because I said so." We all know you have some hidden reason!!
JnBootz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your special"
Batmumvj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
daggereye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
These comments just make me think there are a lot of kids on reddit that are spoiled brats.
25104003717460 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're special
PM-YOUR-FEMALE-FEET ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I have eyes in the back of my head"
bickletravis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I wanted you to have a father".
IAMA_Ghost_Boo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom said I couldn't eat cake batter because of the raw eggs in it. One day it clicked with me.
Tommeh1995 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't touch that, its poisonous"
theghostoftexschramm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When they pretend to believe what their kid is telling them just to avoid confrontations.
RahsaanK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your Dad is coming back" or "If you don't read your bible, you will live eternity in Hell"
spew2014 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's your baby.
IzzidJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"we're just gonna get milk"
A_Bartender ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When my father left me
Noia20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It'll be alright (ok)."
While in theory, it eventually is most times, but saying that at the time? Rather pointless and unhelpful.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're very handsome/beatuiful....and of course....I love you!
SickSadWorldie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We took the cat to go live on a farm or [insert pet] went back to the pet store
Isredel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not mad because you did x, I'm mad because you lied about it. If you just told me, I wouldn't be mad." Bull-fucking-shit.
packerfanmama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha...and yet I have already whipped that line out with my 7 yr old. Maybe if you're smart enough to preface it with: "I thought about lying to you, but since you said you only get mad about the lies, here goes...".
2muchplaid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you all equally."
geekyb207 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We had our 5 and 9 yr olds convinced thier names were something other than thier real names. I can't put them here, but ones middle name was "alexanderschlemenko" and the others middle name was "melvinmanhoff" they believed it for about 8 months.
Desmeos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
StonewallHackson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're such a handsome young man."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love all my kids the same"
raendrop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm your biggest fan."
Yeah, I've seen Misery, you bitch.
_PM_ME_UR_PENGUINS_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll think about it" AKA I need time to mentally prepare for your meltdown when I tell you the answer is no.
TsugaruMJS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to tell me I had to always eat my vegetables first at meals because they digest the fastest and if I ate other stuff first the vegetables would rot in my stomach.
To this day I always finish every vegetable on my plate before touching anything else out of habit. I never really considered what my mom said to be a lie until I mentioned it to a friend when I was 25. I guess it is an OK habit to have, even if it is scientifically inaccurate.
DeuceSevin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is your new uncle.
OakTeach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want to be if you just try hard enough."
golmack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
if you keep playing with your wee wee its going to fall off
Gbcue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Birds nests myth.
KaterinaIvanovna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
deusnefum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
Tirave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll go blind if you keep taking long showers.
dc8291 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're so handsome, my son"
chifly3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That condoms work.
zagreus8me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'i know it was you, I have eyes in the back of my head'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you are special
HautHauswife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Wow, that's amazing/great/beautiful honey!"
WeezulDK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus Easter Bunny Tooth Fairy Jesus
Altephor1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'You're so handsome!'
kinamonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I won't buy any more cigarettes, I'm just finishing this carton." I've been on this same carton for 4 months. I'll buy a couple packs when I go inside to pay for gas (because for some reason the pay at the pump feature doesn't work at this gas station, weird) and stick them in my boobs before going to the car. I am glad they care, but ts stressful times right now, and I can't stop revisiting my favorite old monkey.
sonofpicard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, don't worry [grandma/pa/dad/friend/pet goldfish/etc.] is in heaven looking down on you from a better place."
InvictusArchangel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're the best, my dear"
OracleJoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He is 11 1/2 years old. (Kids under 12 eat free) He is actually 16
profcyclist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you go out in the cold you will get a cold.
http://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/there-scientific-reason-cold-weather-could-cause-colds-180953817/
cinntwist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa, tooth fairy, etc
i_am_not_squidward ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the cops are gonna get you if you dont finish that meal
funandfunny12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
โOh honey, this tastes delicious.โ
tysonmoorewood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're going to be a handsome man"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
DinosaursBeBitchin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're special :(
Agent_Washingtub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything is going to be ok
insider7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have eyes in the back of my head.
Keatoburitto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'' I love you. ''
TyppaHaus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you're so handsome
Colonel_Green ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Being a mom is the hardest job in the world.
kinethix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's 11 midnight why are you still up!?" Me looks at the clock and it says 9:10pm.
SeanT21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa is watching
namastitches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the song they play when they are out of ice cream
ynwace96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your Daddy wasn't shit.
He never loved you and is a terrible person!
ehazkul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That being a mother qualifies that person for 100 different occupations.
wolferoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll understand when you're older
sasstomouth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In response to any request; "We'll see."
cinimonstk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are my favorite
Nillmo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I only want what's best for you."
Greetings_Stranger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa.
ssabatino14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
Houzi88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My handsome son. My beautiful daughter.
mrsstealmonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My 7 yr old daughter thinks, and tells people I am 10 years older than I am. When my daughter would ask me how old I was, I would always tell her what ever random number would pop into my head whether it be 14 or 72. It was really just because it was I was amused at how easily she would accept any answer. This started around 3 years old.. Whenever she started asking those types of questions. At my last birthday (12/2015), 37 must have stuck in her head because she 'knew' I was turning 38. Now she openly tells people I am 38, if the topic comes up in conversation. When I've heard someone try and correct her by saying I am 28, she simply replies with, "No, she just tells people that."
It's funny seeing people try and figure it out.
Boredomis_real ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Carrots give you good eyesight.
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol I forgot about this one. I got crap for eyes at only 25 and still love carrots though.
Cloud_Motion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything will be ok."
Briarmist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe
cowtung ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God, Mohammed, Santa, Jesus. Probably in that order of popularity.
pfeifits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love your daddy.
Vindayen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you" is the most common lie.
fretit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are the sunshine of my life."
Poopdoodiecrap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can tell if you're lying by looking in your eyes.
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If she's got any psychology training she might know people tend to look up and right when remembering and up and to the left when making shit up. (left vs right might be switched I don't remember but right feels right lol )
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"if you play with it too much it'll fall off"
Hasn't fallen off yet
wisewizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No i don't know where all your power rangers went. Bitch.
Zundfolge-1432 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Mommy's know everything."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Because I said so"
pLuRaN0n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To son: "She's NOT good for you and will ruin your life."
Period.
Breakfast_Joe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes, I'm watching"
cronnyberg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you sit too close to/watch too much tv your eyes will go square..... Anyone else get that one?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If we're talking about my mom, anything she said was basically a lie...she's a manipulative bitch.
K-Matt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Just be yourself and people will like you"
ExoticMandibles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Honey, you're so smart and clever! And handsome, too."
Poopdoodiecrap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love your dad"
"This is the cable man here to fix our Internet"
"You can be anything you want to be"
Brain_Grenade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so proud of you.
whereismymind86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's going to be alright.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Just be yourself and you'll find someone."
AHucs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
MrFlibble81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most common lie?
"Maybe, we'll see" They never see...ever...
Aperture_Kubi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
([A-z])\w+
This is a very depressing joke if you understand Regex.
hddoutsider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
can you explain?
PretendThisIsMyName ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I will turn this car around!"
Has any parent ever actually been more than a half hour from the house and even considered turning back around? Granted I shut my fucking mouth when they said that.
BurntPaper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine did. I was going to a Karate tournament and I was acting like a little shit. Called their bluff because I -knew- they wouldn't turn back. We got to the parking lot and I was still acting up. We parked, my dad turned around and reminded me that he warned me that we'd turn back, and he pulled right back out of the parking spot and went straight home, which was almost an hour away.
Learned my lesson that day.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not mad at you."
Sure, mom.
huggiesdsc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Mmmmm maybe..."
jewwpacc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is going to be alright."
darkenspirit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whatever veggie was on sale was super beneficial for your health that week.
mtnorcia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll always be there for you."
SpeedBattlezone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
shockandAWD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry about your dog... Mr. Buttons had to go to the farm. He's more happy there... (In reality, he's been dumped at the tracks.)
shantm79 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother in law told my wife and her brother that when the ice cream rings his bell, it means he's out of ice cream. So cruel.
grandzu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This hurts me more than it hurts you
Alexanderphd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be what ever you want to be!!
Spiderboydk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you don't wear enough clothes outside, you'll catch a cold."
The cold is a virus infection. The primary cause of colds is poor hand hygiene.
_The-Big-Giant-Head_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Feeling chilled might make us more vulnerable if we already have a virus in our system.
Low temperatures can cause blood vessels to constrict, allowing fewer healthy white blood cells through your blood stream, which in turn can allow your virus to run wild. So skip the coat at your own risk. MUM
Spiderboydk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, but the temperature effect is miniscule compared to the effect of washing your hands and people not sneezing into their palms.
_The-Big-Giant-Head_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are always in contact with all sort of virus, bacterias day in day out including through the air but they are defeated by your immune system.
You not wearing your jacket weakens the immune system as explained in my previous comment.
Spiderboydk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And as I explained the effect of being a bit cold is miniscule. We're talking about hypothermia before this has an effect worthy of mention.
What matters most (with the cold and the flu) is washing your hands.
OnlyinRealLif ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa is real
Hugsforpeace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always tell my daughter that we are out of credits on Youtube and Pandora when I don't want to hear anymore Disney music. =/
She is four.
doomedredhead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That you're special and everyone likes you.
ignezio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well move out of this car next mont
I don't have money for food go bed (used money for drugs)
No one likes us (everyone loved me fuck my mom
No one will help us (she always used the money for drugs)
I not dying (she was dying)
Jade_GL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Eat these potatoes. They're from back home!"
I was a very picky eater when I was 5 when we moved over seas to Terceira in the Azores, from Maine. My mother, to get me to eat potatoes, would tell me they were imported from back home in Maine. I gobbled them up after that.
Later, when I was older, she told me they were probably from England or Ireland or somewhere else in Europe.
I_Like_Hoots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can can be whatever you want to be when you grow up " can't.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"what's wrong?" "Nothing."
Tarma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you keep acting up the ______ will take you away.
humblemotherfucker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything's going to be alright"
fatjabbas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One pancake day me and my brothers were begging my mum to make pancakes for tea, after an hour of saying no she finally caved, only for us to come down to a plate full omelettes... As if we weren't gonna tell the difference.
Havok103 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa is real
Mr-Crasp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll see"
anniebaps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum told us that when the ice cream van played music the guy had run out of ice creams.
Goatmaster3000_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I am not shouting!"
Ashenspire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you don't stop playing with it, it's gonna fall off."
implyingly_inducing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it's going to be ok
borntohula85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not specifically mothers (so please mods, feel free to remove this because irrelevant), but when I read this thread's title I remembered this one thing.
I had to get a wisdom tooth removed because it would inflame every now and then. Went to an oral surgeon, got an appointment for removal a couple days later. I was super fucking scared about it, I had never had any sort of surgery or anesthesia and I generally hate dentists. Plus I was in PAIN because the fucking tooth was super inflamed despite the antibiotics the doc gave me.
Naturally I told everyone in my immediate environment how freaking scared I was. Every. Single. Person said something along the lines of "it probably won't be a walk in the park, but it won't be half as bad as you imagine", effectively reducing my anxiety.
On the day of the appointment I was still scared but not as much as before. They gave me like a trillion injections until I was sufficiently numb, and what followed was literal fucking hell. It was HELL. I cried and screamed and whimpered and sobbed like a baby while they cut open my jaw (the shit tooth hadn't even cut through the flesh yet, plus it was all weirded down into the bone), broke the tooth into 4 pieces and yanked them out violently over what felt like eternity but in reality took probably 20 mins.
When I told the people who had previously uttered soothing words about my visit to the Spanish Inquisition, they all went "you were so scared, we didn't want to make it worse". What??? They had all said the exact same thing, now twice. Not only immediate family, but close friends, too. I felt betrayed. I wish someone had told me how bad it's gonna be, then I could have been surprised by professional staff dealing with me being a crybaby instead of going in there all sunshine and experiencing actual fucking torture.
/rant
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus fuck. What is with all these people having their wisdom teeth out while STILL FUCKING AWAKE? Now, my anxiety over the dentist is much more over the top then the average scared-of-the-dentist person but when I had mine out at 18 they put me under. Completely. Last thing I remember is 4 people holding me down while someone tries to stab me with an IV and then I'm sitting in the car with my sweatshirt/seatbelt on and groggy as hell.
borntohula85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
General anesthesia would've been like 300โฌ extra and isn't paid by health care, so I didn't really have a choice. :(
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn :(
tworkout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you don't listen to me La bruja will get you, you little shit"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want to be."
CRISPR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When she's gone, half of the world is gone.
Truth is, the whole world is gone.
Miranda210 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope the dentist/doctor will definitely not hurt !
Sedgecloud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'It's not your fault mommy and daddy are split up.' (It definitely is.)
jerk_c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're beautiful son.
killrickykill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Being a stay at home mom is a full time job"
theacidplan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That you're such a handsome boy
Delauzzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No I dont have a favorite."
AngstChild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't go out into the cold with wet hair, it will make you sick."
ChickenPotPi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure my mother was hard on the waiting an hour after eating before you swim.
The_Great_FASB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
kevinpdx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I sent your cat to our friends farm while you were staying with your dad"
CalvinDehaze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me that I could get pink eye if I looked at a dog while it was taking a shit. I believed that until my mid-20's.
jdschultze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
robynweasley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favorite, I love you all the same"
chris_kyle_style ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The park is closed today
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're pretty/handsome, than you find out your ugly as all hell.
TheViceroy057 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love all of my children the same."
manlysuperpanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Something my mother would always tell me is that she loves me no matter what. But let's face it, in another life if I wasn't born her son then she wouldn't even know who I was, let alone care about me
Realist12b ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
Edit: I mean Satan.
avix123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't make any noise or you'll wake the monster under your bed.
Saman239 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
donownsyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa is real
poodlebumhole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're all my favourites
subll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When they drop something in the house, they scream like someone just died.
Throwzway2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're such a good looking person" said almost every mother ever.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
PM-ME-UR-TITS-2-GIRL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"... maybe that was just mine.
I'm kidding, she was a loving parent
city_onfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For my little brother, it was that my mom had eyes in the back of her head (so she saw anything he did). We used to have one of those massive vans that had the screened tiny windows, one screen was broken and you could stick your hand through it. My mom had to keep telling my brother to stop doing that; one day he was doing it and she saw it in the side mirror, and yelled at him for doing it. He noticed she never looked back, so he said, "You really do have eyes in the back of your head". After that, he didn't do it and he was also very curious how she washed her hair without it hurting her eyes.
CalvinDehaze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm going to ask you a question that I already know the answer to, and if you lie to me your punishment will be double." I would then proceed to give up everything.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is your mom a cop?
CalvinDehaze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, but she probably learned that from a cop show.
hunkE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, everything will be fine
Youngbraz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus
ilifwdrht78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't touch that! It's hot!"
Don't listen to her. Its only tepid at best.
wellsdb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't pee in the road or you'll get a stye in your eye.
If you swallow that gum, it'll be in your intestines for seven years.
Keep making that face and it'll be stuck that way for the rest of your life.
Noiliax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want to be.
CRISPR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: be aware of sudden uncontrollable urge to sob loudly at work.
HopefulRomantic_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eating beetroots gives blood
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Daddy will come back soon
_The-Big-Giant-Head_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is your dad.
reddzeppelin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you are not an animal
laptopdragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
your fathers name
ridd666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I brought you into this world, I can take you out just as easily.
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
effort required suggests taking someone out is much easier then bringing someone into the world.
VictimZ3R0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're cool sweetie.
wolterjwb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're special
sunbagels ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"maybe later"
OptimisticNihilistt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sorry, I don't know what happened to your grateful dead tshirts"
Spexor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
:-/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're just the cutest, girls will go wild for you" Vice versa
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
FlubbleWubble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't go outside with a jacket, you'll get a cold!
Bruh that ain't how this shit works.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can only go to Chuck E Cheese's if you get an invitation in the mail.
tomness94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wake up, it's almost the afternoon now! 9:30
SeekersWorkAccount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's gonna be okay.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes, I'm positive it's yours."
aether10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Other than telling me I'm handsome and smart and all that, she used to take money from my mini safe I got for having a kids account at a bank or something when I was little and put IOU notes there. She made them out to be really cool and cute by drawing shapes and smiley faces on them.
... I don't think she ever paid up once. I think she resented having to spend money on me at all and tried to get dad to do most of it.
JimmyR42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
dasrac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
holla_yo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're beautiful!
colonelveers12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bus comes at 6:45
"You're going to miss the bus" is 6:20
I can run there in two minutes now let me sleep.
1tMakesNoSence ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Shhhh, its not that bad"
Lotton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Relax im just getting eggs
SpitefulMouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll see"
VicariousWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You will be in more trouble if you dont tell the truth!"
Even if I did tell the truth, it wasnt believed, or I would still get in more trouble for telling it.
RegionalBias ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God Loves You.
Larry_Jenkins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can pause your video game"
(playing online game)
TomBradysConscience ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're not getting a shot.
SpeedyTurtle0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm going to the gas station to get a pack of cigarettes"....but he never came back.
aaaak4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll understand when you get older
bbatliner311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh wow you look so handsome!" I haven't showered for two days and I'm wearing a ratty work shirt and 4 year old faded jeans. Thanks though, mom.
fredburma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That the world cares. It doesn't.
sinemaiestas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you sit too close to the TV you'll go blind."
RedStarRedTide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"i love you"
munkiman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It'll fall off!
ohshititsausername ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
watching Ghost Hunters "I don't want you to watch those types of shows! It'll open a portal in the tv and bring evil spirits in the house!"
CriscoMelon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"He/She is so smart!"
lowcrawler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I loved you from the first moment".
No. Newborns are terrible. Is not all magical. It takes time to form a bond.
nightowlsmedia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
Saxophobia1275 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Time heals all wounds"
I miss you Mom
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you'
Pickle9775 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything will be alright"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll hold your Halloween candy for you.
KaraWolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:29:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
only a lie by omission. LOL
PM_Me_Churros ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Food is ready.
Dakota4791 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can't swim for 30 minutes after you eat."
Zentopian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't deserve to be treated like a piece of shit! Treat others how you want to be treated!"
-Continues treating me like a piece of shit, and wondering why I still hate her guts-
markko79 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every mother thinks they can cut their childrens hair, they can not.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We're all out of __________.
Zaviior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dinners Ready" It's never actually ready, you'll always be waiting 5 minutes
sky_meadows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We have that at home"
cinnamondog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sorry the house is so filthy!" to guests after she spent 4 hours cleaning the house
Orcinus24x5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sit back from the TV or you'll go blind.
PhalliusMaximus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa is real.
EvanTheNewbie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll pay you back" She takes advantage of me financially sometimes.
drunkenknitter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"maybe" Maybe almost always means "no".
looklikemonsters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"they cleaned the whole house without me asking them!" ... if you don't count the thousand times I asked or all the "you're doing it or you're in some shit" faces I had to give.
GamingWithBilly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't sit so close to the tv, it'll ruin your eye sight"
and
"Don't pop your knuckles, you'll get arthritis"
ehem...
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/earth-talk-tv-eyesight/
http://tech.mit.edu/V129/N41/ignobels.html
DiFToXin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's gonna come back soon
beefsinister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Spends every day with her but goes out once in a blue moon and she says "You never spend any time with me!"
PolskaLFC93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wrap up warm or you'll catch pneumonia
Bshsjaksnsbshajakaks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If asked, I'm sure they would all say they wouldn't milk their son if the son had broken both his arms. But a mother's love knows no bounds.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
BEING A MOTHER IS THE HARDEST JOB ON THE PLANET!!!!
lunalovegood956 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's 11 a.m. in the morning, wake up!" - Mexican moms when it's actually 9 a.m.
TreeAndPlants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Asian mums do this too
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is only one piece of, insert type of food here, and "I'm not hungry"
ramblingnonsense ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want when you grow up.
phantommonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can do or be anything you want when you grow up."
_madmonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"its honey", on that gross stuff on bananas
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
banana bruises? bleck
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm good, how're you?"
duchessdugan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When we were on holiday and I was young my parents and brothers used to tell me that the bags of candy floss the street vendors sold were actually spare stuffing for teddybears, because I would constantly be stopping and asking for some...
I suppose they saved me some dental bills in the long run though
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't eat more than one vitamin a day or you'll have too much iron in you and you'll be struck by lightning"
Cski54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let's all talk shit on MOMS!!!!!!
Nnivv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It won't burn.
thrashfan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
HumbleDoor4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
Ginjunior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I use: He's just tired." In response to my child's grumpy behavior
MowMdown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This won't hurt"
gawlowizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No, put that back we have plenty of good food at home honey.."
Iammackers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me when I was a kid that if I ate the crust of the bread I would get curly hair...joke was on her because I made he cut the crust off after that.
LadyKnightmare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love all my children equally"
no
You love all your children for different reasons, and you mostly love the ones that are behaving the best.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:30:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love the one that sleeps the most best. Who that is varies by age.
Rsubs33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are my favorite child.
Dean403 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you".
MarsVulcan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom's personal favorite was "I'll pick you up on time." Which ended on multiple occasions with me saying "Thanks for the ride home, coach."
PaulBlartMemeCop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
Rhodie114 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you all equally"
Scranda1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: Mom where is the dog going? Mom: he's going to a farm. He will be a great guard dog there.
Context: he was amazing to me but very aggressive towards others and they had to give him away to the SPCA. They tell me now as an adult they knew he wouldn't pass the aggression test needed to be adopted. So basically it was a death sentence, and no I will never forget this lie.
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ouch....my mom had to put her/our dog down when he was still young for cat chasing because it was only going to escalate to chicken killing and it happened when the dog's father came by(proven chicken killer); neither one of them paid any mind to the 8 young kids they dashed through. But we knew EXACTLY what was going to happen to that dog and why it had to happen.
EvilEyedPanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're beautiful
MinisterforFun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're not ugly"
PoopinzePants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favorite."
Jmanorama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I Love You"
My mom "forgot" me in Boston (4hrs away) when I was in 5th grade (and she was the chaperone). Also this was before cell phones were common.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
OperaticBacon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Stop doing that or I'll kill you"
Hate to hear this, only promise a realistic punishment otherwise the kid will never behave.
coeusclark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This might not be common, but mom told me I could go off the high dive next year when I was old enough.
She knew it was being taken out at the end of the summer.
Squinteastwoods ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It will all be ok"
tianamarie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I have eyes in the back of my head."
DatDominican ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you graduate , we'll buy you a insert car here
mirandawillowe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You will go blind doing that.." Nice try mom... Nice try.
MagicalCMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The cat ran away... (Real story)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's all going to work out in the end"...
contentbosslady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're special and you can do anything you want.
MidgetManSkippy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Having to wait 30 minutes or an hour to swim after you eat because it will cause cramps. It's not true at all:
Source
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was alllways told this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think that was more of an urban legend that people believed. We were all told that by our parents and they were told by theirs - I don't think it was an intentional lie.
jaydd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid in Portugal we were all told that we had to wait 3 hours. And i believe that is still the saying. I went back for holidays this year and I could hear the very familiar plea from kids to their parents: "Has it been 3 hours yet?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love all my children the same.
_orbus_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything will be all right, sweetie.
Coogah33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Chuck E Cheese has a rat infestation, and was closed by the health department.
Rebus88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's out of battery and needs to charge". Not only for the iPad, but now for the TV and computer.
Kraze_F35 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Cracking your knuckles will give you arthritis."
oneWINaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything will be ok, sweetie."
cheekske ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe"
It was either Yes or No when "maybe" was spoken
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
but less likely to revolt if "maybe" is said.
milk_and_serial ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't cry, Mommy will always be here.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm telling your dad when he gets back!"
Bitch, don't you lie to me! You aint gonna tell him shit unless I've really fucked up! Stop trying to scare me with the threat of Dad-justice. Discipline me yourself, you coward!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate that. It takes away the mom's authority and then the kid just stops listening to her because he/she knows mom isn't' going to do shit.
raq0916 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Ive been trying to wake you up for the past hour! Cmon youre gonna be late for school". Its obvious she just missed her alarm and blamed me
Razzal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have a favorite child. I love you all the same
siderdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You will break that if you keep doing that." Especially with something like switching on and off a light switch over and over again.
bcrabill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I believed my mom had "eyes in the back of her head" until I was like 8 or 9.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:25:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the literal sense, no, but we do have a sense that sort of triggers our gut feeling that you're up to no good. And we know you, so we can predict what you might do if left alone with something messy or semi-dangerous.
GreenTeaOnMyDesk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That I'm handsome
kingkutty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: Santa Klaus is going to come down the chimney and bring you gifts.
Me: But we don't have a chimney. Mom: Uhh we'll just let him in the door. Me thinking to myself: Whatever...the shit you got me better be good God Dammit.
Fe_Fi_Fo_Dumb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*Sees friend or neighbor at a mall or store.
"I'll just tell my friend how good the recipe for my cookies are - I'll be back in 5 minutes."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The boo-boo kiss.
goofyphucker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She used to tell me my daddy was an evil man. She used to tell me he hated me. But then I got a little bit older and I realized she was the crazy one.
icyice4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"your father is coming back soon just be patient" yeah ok heard that one too many times
NayaZombies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I will be proud of you no matter what you decide."
It's a trap !!!!
Darklyte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom lies constantly about the time. "We need to go, It's almost 7:00!" "Mom it's 6:13 right now."
JR0cK01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That I'm handsome
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That if I kept making that face, it would stay that way forever.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The only pick on you because they're jealous.
Sarcasma17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you all equally.
319Skew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We were just grown up wrestling
Chavez300 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You'll shoot your eye out!"
calilac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course that's the same fish, they change as they grow just like you do...
BoosherCacow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All bedtime negotiations. The struggle is real.
timndime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
JohnnyTries ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you keep doing that you'll go blind.
If you keep doing that you'll get hairy palms.
DlProgan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not so much a lie as defending you from the truth:"It doesn't matter baby. You do as you like." And then your mother is up for some kind of hell for several hours just because of some dumb shit you wanted to happen and probably lost interest in way before her hell is over.
ChocolateJesus8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh honey you're so handsome! Any girl would want to be with you!"
deliaren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know the bee and the flower story
Pied_Pfeffer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Surely the most common lie is, "Let me kiss your boo-boo, and that will make it all better."
lenosky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you keep playing with that, it'll fall off."
Popcornbubblegum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
reptiliandude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Of course he's your father."
golfer76 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The dog ran away sweetie...
Jpegg22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want to be"
Brickie78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"That's lovely dear"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Eat the crust on your sandwich! All the nutrients are in the crust!"
Yeah, that only applies to produce, mom. That's just dark bread.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That if you kiss a girl, you'll get cooties
mack65 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are special!
Levitacus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't eat before you swim or you'll get a stomach ache and drown."
looptyparadise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That you're their favorite child.
PrivatePikmin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
Thanks mom
guapo_gerardo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I won't take long"
LarryO_907 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your bunny rabbit ran away... I swear i fed it and gave it water while you were at camp. In no way did it die of heat stroke from lack of water and food while you left it in my possession... just ask your sister...
BritishOvation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That it's brilliant being a parent, best thing they've ever done.
i_phped_in_the_pool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're special". Of course, mine didn't say that... it was "You're some kind of special".
BrianWeissman_GGG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you go outside without a coat on, you'll catch a cold.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me if I didn't eat my veggies I'd get cancer and die. For some reason I didn't care and I still didn't eat them.
CrikeyKangaroo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Asks mom if she seen you do that cool thing
"Yeah I seen, I was watching"
TERRAOU812 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
all pets that went to the "farm"! AND i might of let my daughter think that having sex the first time will hurt, alot!
WouldyoukindIy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, one of those is not a lie. It sure as fuck can hurt and, according to my female friends and my own experience, it usually does. It varies though. Some had to try several times before it didn't hurt too much to continue.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Good job!"
demontoarch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you.
breedweezy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
ABigFNHero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your face is going to get stuck like that
CouchAlchemist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is from a mother to another to-be mother. When the baby is born give a little press on cheeks to make a dimple.. I have no idea whether it is related but decided to keep mum...
Levitacus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't drink coffee, it'll stunt your growth."
TheyAreSailorsIndeed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"it's not gonna hurt you"
Lemurians ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want to be"
corbie157 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know better than you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love all my children equally."
Bullshit. If you have multiple kids, we all know that at least one is an annoying little shit stain you wish you could have crammed back up your vagina.
miss_v_23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps not crammed back up my vagina but certainly wished he got lost in the park...
butta_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
dont go swimming right after eating or you will get sick!
RayPawPawTate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know what's best for you.
KLULESS_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Easter bunny, Santa, tooth fairy etc. Take your pick
whatisitbro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You just have thick bones.
Leftturntod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
your so hansome
8daze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I never did that when I was your age!"
Mausman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't draw on your skin with magic marker. It'll seep into your skin and you will get blood poisoning."
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
apparently this one USED to be true. But hasn't been for decades.
Dydarian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your dad is a horrible dad. Even though I don't have any specific reason that's true, he's still just an awful person you shouldn't associate with."
Bhrunhilda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You'll understand when you're older." Yeah No.
Negafox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We could get it for for your birthday/Christmas." (whichever is further away)
Jamaryn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want to be. :(
KatatonicKitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We have food at the house."
blitzcrieg1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This is going to hurt me more than it is going to hurt you". I don't think so mom.
sonuvagun06 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was growing up it was the nutritional value of bread crust. No way is that the healthiest part of a sandwich.
Thenhemet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are my favorite
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're all my favorite."
IAMZizzi05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That something you did or said didn't upset her. I don't know how much I made suffer to my mother with just me being me, behaving like a hikikomori and refusing to talk. My brother told me a couple of times that I made her cry and she did it in her room, to not let anyone know it. Made me feel bad about myself, because the very next day she talked to me like nothing happened and asked me how I was feeling. I didn't ask how she was feeling all along.
I_the_wanderer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I forgot, sorry"
BeefSamples ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
some shit about sugar making kids hyper or all the heat coming out of the top of your head.
TheBlazinCaucasian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Get out of the bathroom! If you keep doing that you'll go blind!
IHateNashhh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's a good kid
d4hm3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"He said he loved you"
NinjaWithSpoons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"oh honey, I love you and your sister equally"
cabur84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eat you're crust, it's good for you
TheRhymingRedditor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dad's just leaving to get milk sweety, he'll be back soon."
WickedCurious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't worry, baby. Everything's going to be alright."
Mapmyfun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love all my children equally....yeah right
TheFishBoxer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have a favorite, I love all my kids equally.
tigman83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
Walkingtree15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe.
Wuhzzah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Try it, you might like it."
I never liked it.
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I tell this to myself from time to time now. It has ended up with some awesome and terrible decisions in turn. Cuttlefish? no thanks. Eel? Hell yeah. eggplant-nope. fresh strawberry basil ice desert? Holy hell yes. smoked oysters and cream cheese not so much with the cheese. One of the few ways I can force myself to try new things :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:37:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom likes to go on about she didn't smoke weed. But she grew up in the 70's in Venice Beach,CA.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your visit to the dentist won't hurt at all
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Broooooo. My mom took me to the dentist one late afternoon. Talking bout I'm just getting a cavity filled. But the dentist tells her that I am going to need my wisdom teeth taken out soon. So like any mother she decided right then and there would be the best time to do said procedure. :( worst part was he didn't numb my top left gums all the way and he started pulling when it wasn't numb. That pain :(
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus fuck. I had a special appt where they actually knocked me out to do it....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I know what Im doing"
gopms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom once told me that I was prettier than Cindy Crawford. She said it with a straight face and I think actually believed it! I think it goes without saying that I was not prettier than Cindy Crawford (or anyone else since I was a pimply faced 13 year old at the time).
wookinpanub1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
yomjoseki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you!"
Lookapwny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Keep making that face, and it'll freeze that way!"
wooptyfrickindoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
After the movie Frozen came out and that damn song 'Let it go' was heard on repeat in every parents house, my friend lied and told her kids that cars only play "grown-ups CDs". Then to show them she put their CD in upside down so it would say 'error'. "See? Told you kids CDs don't work!" Too bad you can't do that with cassettes, I nearly drove my mother insane with my 'Reading Rainbow' cassette growing up.
Sp0wnjb0b ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Clause
maellie27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll see."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Anything pertaining to what Santa is or does.
TitoOliveira ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a hard fight between tooth fairy, santa claus and the easter bunny
bloodierdp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
djpro95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It'll all be okay.
ZuphCud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're too young for that." she kept telling me until I was too old for that.
Smoeey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa is real.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That they don't have a favorite child.
PC_OOS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love all of you equally"
SnowRidin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that the stork drops off babies
regalrecaller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's okay."
JimGerm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Because your Dad said so".
Xaxxus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"your beautiful/handsome"
onedestiny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sugar causes ass worms
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
everything will be okay and you can follow any career you want.
eugwara ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus
jayjets24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your father will come back one day.
Preidon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I trust you and your my favourite child
cameliawald ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"In a minute."
Klokwurk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is going to be alright"
hardward123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
misschrissylee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your face is going to stick like that"
DickTugnutz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Those tar/oil spots in the parking lot are all remnants of children who didn't hold their parents hand and got ran over....
..... or was that just my mom?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I know everything"
Didn't know why triceratops had horns. SMH the illusion of omniscient parents was shattered by that.
CarpeCyprinidae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We need to know why the Ceratopsians had horns, and also why the Parasaurolophus had a trumpet
olivespecter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll think about it."
BuyBlockbuster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're handsome sweetie"
BlackbloodZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You weren't a mistake
brianiam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Chocolate in the evening? Nightmares.
Boojeremyboo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you play with it you'll go blind.
I mean, yeah, I have glasses, but still!
BrickMasta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe" - No
"Can I have just a bite?" - Eats half
sugarcunts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe."
Rigaudon21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
Stephen1985 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe later
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"im not mad, im disappointed". thats mom for mad.
logan_povich11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
When a kid does something bad and she says "Well I was going to do (insert good reward here) for you, but you decided to do (insert bad thing here)"
NotEdgarAllenPoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dad will be back soon. He just went to the gas station to get some cigarettes."
thinkfaest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want when you grow up."
Beardman_90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a lie, but when ever she's looking for her glasses like a monkey on Ritalin.
"It's gotta be somewhere."
So you point to her head and she exclaims.
"Oh, well It's always the last place you look."
AmdanBelen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't worry... Daddy will be back soon"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your father will be back shortly, he just went to the store"
HE HAS BEEN GONE FOR 26 YEARS THOUGH
anonymousprime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sure I'll pay you back for half of her birthday party and gifts
EliaTheGiraffe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shaving your facial hair will make it grow back thicker and fuller.
Opt_mind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your dog ran away." "Your rabbit ran away." "Your bird flew away." "Your fish died."
I'm surprised she hasn't given my sisters dog away.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All the kids will be jealous of your Shaq shoes
xqorix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"dont go outside at night, the ghost will chase you" afair.
Insanity_Troll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
theflyeman63 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We will get it tomorrow, (Proceeds to put away a cool transformers toy) :'(
MoJoLatte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom promised to buy us fireworks on the Fourth of July. Kept putting it off, then around 9:00 pm says "we're not getting fireworks, I'm scared of them." I've never been so disappointed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I brought you into this world, and I can bring you out of it."
GummyPandaBear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was little kid 3 or 4 years old growing up in the 70's I had a favorite stuffed panda bear named Joe, I took Joe with me wherever I went. After the course of the year Joe would get tattered, and filthy even after baths. Around a week before Christmas, Joe would disappear. My mom told me he went to The North Pole to visit Santa and ask for a new coat for Xmas. Christmas day would come and Joe would be hanging out under the tree with a new coat. Turns out my mom saw how attached I was to this bear, and found a toy store that had 10 of them and bought them out. Every year I got a new panda bear and being a little kid I never figured it out until I was in my early teens.
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's awesome XD Most of the time I find something that I love/fits perfectly I don't realize I should go back and buy 4 more until they no longer sell it/I need a replacement.
GummyPandaBear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Glad you liked it, i guess its not a common lie my mom told. It was just one that sticks in my head.
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:24 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
technically totally a lie. idk if it's common or not though. But also not the first time I've heard a similar story.
branden_lucero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"i love you"
von_Hytecket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm your mother"
beardking01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
Succinctly_Offensive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No, I'm NOT fucking that large, muscular black mailman."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Mommy left her purse in the casino, stay in the car I'll be right back".
von_Hytecket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dinner is ready"
OhTheHueManatee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
delmastron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I know who your father is"
Maybe that's just my mom...
avtiu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
From my Asian mom: eat everything in your bowl, else your spouse will be ugly. Or something along those lines.
adrewishprince ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your cat didn't die, he just ran away" It got hit by a car but of course I thought I was a horrible unlovable pet companion for most of my childhood.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I have hidden cameras in every room"
Or maybe it was just my mum.
KaraWolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:48:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"eyes in the back of my head"
OGEspy117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That the father is the bad guy
askingforafakefriend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That there is a God.
Latexfrog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
-OP's mom
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you equally"
cathrien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you swallow chewing gum it will stay in your stomach for seven years..
Butterzknife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"That's your uncle Bob." Seven years later child figures out "uncle Bob" is really daddy who didn't stick around long enough for him/her to figure it out sooner. :)
messedfrombirth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course you're beautiful.
babblesalot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's your baby."
Uputz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When your child gets food you want, so you taste to make sure its not poison.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Invader9292 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't matter had sex
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fine.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If the ice cream truck is playing music it means they're all out of ice cream."
salecornia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you are special
Thanksforlistenin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're such a handsome boy!
WolvesAtTheGate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That everything will be ok
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody will ever love you as much as me.
Then they can't put down their cell phones to spend time with the poor kids.
lhedn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't do that, you'll go blind!"
continues to blow torch my eyes
ibuprofen69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
Kingx905 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That the kid is beautiful
-Pluvio- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Keep making that face and it'll get stuck like that."
wormee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want to be.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your pet went to the vet.
motorcitymatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's yours.
QueerMusketeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Santa brought you these presents!"
Imadoctor2yadingus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
Tonerrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
IgnorantGenius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes, you were planned."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The lies increased dramatically after my mom divorced my dad. Ranging from "your dad is a drug dealer" to he killed a hooker in TJ."
Nancer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"One second."
bblah4321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
" I don't have a favorite child, I love you all the same"
SkillFreeJake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You'll make some friends soon" 15 years later still has no friends
mirror_angle_dragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa's real
Kapusta96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom kept me from knowing what an ice cream truck was throughout my childhood. "Oh look, it's the music truck!" she'd say. I just thought the nice old man was doing a public service.
Chrisbells ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
5 letters S A N T A
maloviv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this painting is beautiful!, literally three lines in different colors
MacSteele13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"He ain't done nothing!"
kayasawyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll always be with you."
lurkface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Bye! I'm going to leave without you! See you later!" Opens up front door, pretends to leave. "MAMA! WAIT FOR MEEEEEEEEEE!"
This is the only way I can get my three year old in the car some days.
spicy_memes_only ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"The ice cream truck plays music when they're all sold out of everything"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you keep crossing your eyes they're going to get stuck like that!"
MetalMaiden420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This won't hurt a bit!"
Followed by either pulling out a painful splinter, putting rubbing alcohol on a wound or trying to brush rat's nests out of your hair.
Dilnob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your father and I both love you very much.
Fucking Bullshit!!!
rodkimble13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
hajamieli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most of these seem to be generic women things, not just mother things.
CanadianThunder8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll think about it"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Lobster tastes bad. Don't order it." - my mom Because she didn't want me to order the most expensive dish so I never got to taste lobster until I was old enough to pay for it myself and discovered she was cheap and lobster is amazing.
TaraRosey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you make your bed every day for a month, and I will even document it with this Little Mermaid calendar with matching Little Mermaid stickers for every day that you make it, then I will reward you by taking you to Chuckie Cheese.
Never forget.
phurtive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Life isn't horrible"
TheWastelandWizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"How long til we get there?"
"Bout an Hour."
Cshock84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is going to be okay."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't cry because la llorona is gonna think you're her kids that she drowned and steal you.
DeathToAllah69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God is real.
Yoogler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A-?! You could do better.
ScottMichael123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your not my child
jonnyboyoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you both the same amount."
nofearwithbeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom said the crust was the healthiest part of my pbj so I'd eat it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dads coming home"
noobsincebirth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Mummy and daddy are just play fighting"
EricT59 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes I am on the pill
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want when you grow up." Yeah...riiiiight.
litnerd52 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They don't have a favorite child..
Reptilesblade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This won't hurt."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's time to wake up"
lower90s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favorite child"
louie25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you're both my favorite
phaiz55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You'll make some girl really happy some day!"
dick_taterchip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you too, honey"
DarkCinderellAhhh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll be home in a minute."
Your minute is literally 30-60 mins.
"Why you always lyingggg"
JuntaEx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
''That's nice, dear."
So I'm telling you a gorilla came to our school and beat up the teachers and also climbed up onto the roof and that's all you have to say? Fuckin bullshit tbqh fam
werevamp7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That she has eyes behind her back. I believed my mom until I realized it was the reflection of a window she was looking at.
RaCailum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
MeeHungLo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're handsome" Atleast someone thinks I am, thanks mom.
Azozel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom would tell me that out of all my other siblings I was the only one she planned to have. She told that to all of us.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes honey daddy was winning the 'wrestling match' this time."
LooseStuul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it's closed.
CrouchingAshtray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How good looking their kids are.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Because I said so" - moms always have real reasons.
Prism_4426 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No. Just because you say so doesn't mean it is okay.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll be right back, honey. Just wait right here outside the store. Right here. Don't follow mommy ok?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're my son/daughter"
zreddit_headz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Let me keep your 'lucky' money, i will give them back to you" It just ain't gonna happen.
Kimpak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Telling their kids not to touch a bird nest or the birds will "smell you" and abandon their young.
This is false. But its a pretty great way to stop your kid from poking wild animals.
imnotsoright ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Any mother would do the same for their son if he broke both arms"....... ยฏ_(ใ)_/ยฏ
FriedBrycee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll see"
A_Sad_Frog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't press that button while Mummy's driving"
"Why, what does it do?"
"It's an ejector seat like in that film you watched with mummy and daddy. If you press it, you'll fly away"
"But you press it all the time"
"Thats because I have a special chair that lets me press it"
"Oh..."
For some reason, some small part of me still hesitates with the handbrake 20 years later.
ImHackingTheFBI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that they love u :(
jlesh2927 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus.
psychotwilight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Auntie Karina keeps whips and handcuffs in her bedroom because she's Wonder Woman! Don't tell anyone!"
coolcloud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa. What an amazing lie to believe until it's finally crushed though.
CalmAndCompose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
xamcali ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"___________________ will make more sense when your older"
whiskeysquid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
soulsepia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum told me that children were banned from Starbucks so she couldn't take me there with her friends. I was amazed that she "snuck me in" when I was six years old.
Erectionspecialist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
" don't take candy from strangers". Bullshit, best candy I ever had was from a random conversion van, woke up 3 days late on the side of the road with glue up my ass.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sweetheart, you don't need any more pizza"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You weren't a mistake.
cutemelon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Korean mom says all Korean food is good for you. It can be deep fried, covered in oil, made with processed flour or rice, but it is still good for me.
I tried to explain it to her once, but I gave up.
Generican ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be whatever you want when you grow up....that's a lie
TheRedAzzzuri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're beautiful.
mlang15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The washing machine must have ate your other sock.
Hrushka13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It went bye-bye
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you pee in the pool it will catch fire"
Captain_Aizen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh he's just a darling, won't give you any trouble at all"
now pan to her station wagon doing a burnout to get away as fast as possible. You fucking liar you are!
Deeps_10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything is too hot to touch
Notanadipose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything will be okay. :(
TimelyBarren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
trro16p ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When the ice cream truck is playing music that means they are out of ice cream.
Prism_4426 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can you be funny?
jabberwocky360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have to wait 30 minutes after you eat until you can swim.
blakfeld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything will be okay"
Rameth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Clause is not real.
Every time I think of this I recall Elf
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your father said no.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything is going to be alright
Lucifer1239 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
OthelloMon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That everything will be ok
natural_seattleite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"A man comes down the chimney and gives you presents once a year if you've been good" or any other similar story about mysterious and benevolent strangers
kopibrian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you don't finish your plate properly, your future SO's face will look like your leftovers"
MyriadMuse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bread crust makes your hair shiny.
SecretIzmagnus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
everynametakwn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is a god.
FollowKick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
Captain-Autismo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
OnaxNinja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa is real
menamo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When in a public place with security guards I always see parents telling they're toddler they should behave or the police (security guard) will take them to jail.
Another Is don't swallow watermelon seeds or a watermelon will grow in your stomach.
Oh and the don't swallow gum because it take years to digest in your stomach.
AramisNight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I Love You"
reevoalex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favorite"
_TheOtherWoman_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything is chicken. steak = chicken lamb = chicken fish = chicken vegetables = yup they're chicken too
ContactusTheRomanPR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Staring into the microwave will make your eyes go bad."
byrdnasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jerking off will make you go blind
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're beautiful/handsome, sweety."
gagediffee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your dad and I are fine.
lionheartedxo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The medicine tastes like strawberry!
aryaaaan3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
โWeโre almost there!โ amidst a painfully long road trip. โIf you drink your milk, youโll grow big and tall!โ โNo, I donโt know where your art project went.โ โNo, I donโt think youโre getting a shot at the doctorโs today.โ
jaslr83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's just baby fat. You'll grow out of it"
Yea, it didn't work like that for me!
Mitchel-256 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
"Santa left those presents."
"I would never do anything to hurt you."
"We just need some help with the bills, I'll give it back."
"We miss you."
Bitch.
End3rp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's just skin"
Knarkill34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I Love You"
TheLibrarianOokOok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Those high heels will get more comfortable the more you wear them.
surfkaboom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're fine, let's go
J_Brownies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My personal favorite was "you're so smart" and "you can be anything you want to be when you grow up"
NOSTALGIC_BOMB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I have eyes in the back of my head, I always see what you're doing.". Used to scare us in to behaving on long car rides.
misshle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That their baby is beautiful. Newborns are rarely attractive.
lotekjeromuco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Life is good.", "You have nothing to be afraid of."
Mfiore000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you son!"
Needle_Nation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll always be here for you."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Clause. Tooth Fairy. Easter bunny
DM_Malus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
" I Love You"
ILikeClefairy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think this is common at all but it's funny so I'll share t anyway. A friend of mine told me his mom would always tell him that on certain days the park "costed money so they couldn't go today"
She just didn't want to go to the park.
alsobrante ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"this isn't going to hurt"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Make faces and your face will freeze like that
benitolecazzuto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
CommieOfLove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you're at your parents' friend's house and want to go home: "Ok honey just 15 more minutes."
MacbethAUT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your ears turn red when you lie. (smart as I am I covered my ears when I had to stretch the truth so she won't notice.)
hermesqq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Fill in a name" is your father.
thisiscotty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"if the icecream van is playing music , its run out"
Sephiroth0327 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll see"
When you ask for ANYTHING
AtlantaWeddingDJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're so (smart, beautiful, funny, talented etc)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was younger, I had a habit of sleeping in the bath (with water in of course) Well obviously that scared my mother...
" wes, if you fall a sleep in the bath...you will wakeup somewhere else " Scared the shit out of me...didn't do it again...I'm 32 now...
Hawx220 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Telling you that 'Mother know best' - at a young age you think you know best but they rob you of fun and enjoyment, admittedly for the greater good sometimes but still pretty annoying lie to be bought up on.
TR4VlS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're special"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend's mom used to tell her and her siblings that things in the store weren't for sale but were only teaser displays when she didn't want to buy it for them
Lordofwhut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love your face"
BITCRUSHERRRR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm always right. I am the adult."
thehuntedfew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
keep touching that and it will fall off!!!!
charlieboo123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No, you weren't an accident! You were a happy surprise!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are a handsome boy and you look like <insert handsome actor's name>
CrispehKitteh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was told I had a heart problem my whole life. Was just anxiety, but instead of getting me therapy as a child to learn to cope and handle things I loved in fear that if die. Fear of death then caused anxiety (what I thought was heart problems) and I'm embarrassed how many times my friend or I had to call 911 because we all thought I was dying or mid fibrillation. Fucking A. Recently went off on parents about this because I only recently found out (in my late 20's after going to another cardiologist on my own).
MintBerryMunch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I just sat down"
Oneto3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No hunny, you weren't a mistake."
"Then why did you call me booboo my whole life?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll be on time this time."
rps_killerwhale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you have sex before marriage your penis will fall off!
sagetrees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol
sexmormon-throwaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You do anything you put your mind to."
TheVostros ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
jbass55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
These sound like things my gf tells me
QTheTrigger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Child: Mommy what's a (word they should not know)?
Mother: I'll tell you later sweetie.
relaxincontraxtion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That breastfeeding is awesome
Truth: My nipples are bleeding, your latch needs work, I'm so touched out I could scream and even though you're adorable you're also a total milk vampire. I could quit but formula is expensive and you were a preemie so I know my milk is best. I want to hide when my letdown wrecks another shirt. At least it isn't forever. And all the militant pro breastfeeding mothers must have super boobs because this blows.
Laskok0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're so handsome
Cutthechitchata-hole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Women only want you to knock them up so they can trap you in their life forever!
jeremyh422 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
krissy8284 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa is real
doofusroy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You'll go blind."
kaiyotic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In Bruges there's a prison that's located right next to the highway. Every time we drove by that prison my mom told me that it was a school for very naughty children so they would learn to be good boys.
Any time I was starting to missbehave she told me she was gonne call the naughty children school to ask if I could join go there instead of my normal school.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm proud of you"
blainadams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
BABOON-CN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my opinion the most common lie is that 'x' will happen if they don't do 'x'. Most parents just want to complete a task and will say whatever it takes to get it done. The rest is history.
squiremgee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If the wind changes, your face will stick like that!"
HistorysWitness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"your dad moved away. this is gary he will be staying with us now"
snegtul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't do that or your face will stay that way!
kevinnetter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're the best part of my life"
tbauer516 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I asked to do something / go anywhere with friends as a child, I was met with "I don't care," which I quickly figured out to mean "I do fucking care, that was a test, and you failed."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sandy Claus
plateofsteel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything is going to be oooooooooook..........
pehsxten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You will grow into these clothes". Still the same size 10 years later.
Michelle_Lynn2016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My son: "My dad doesn't see me anymore because he doesn't care about me."
Me: "He cares about you, he loves you the best he can. He just lives really really far away and works a really hard job that takes a long time." [He lives 60 miles away and works as a UPS warehouse clerk].
That conversation happened at 6. He's almost 10 now. Doesn't ask about him much.
kevinnetter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Go ahead, take the last piece. I don't want it"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover.
callan752 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are special."
klyt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you keep mashing it like that you'll go blind.
Nearly 30 years old and still have 20/20 vision.
Turbosuperfastlaser1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your dad is an asshole that does nothing to help us out. (pockets child support)
KS0K ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have eyes in the back of my head, I can see what you're doing ๐
EmperorSexy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love all my children equally."
PlanetaryPlaneJane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That if you keep rolling your eyes they'll get stuck that way.
g0wr0n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bet Santa Claus, Jesus, Easter-Bunny & Tooth-fairy lies are pretty common.
AveragePizzaGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus.
Noteful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That your child is handsome / beautiful
KristicK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is a Santa Clause/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy/God, etc.
wills_bills ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your room is so messy! It looks like a bomb has hit it! (My mum once said this to me, a sock and a shirt were on my floor the rest of my room was dusted, hoovered and neat.
DjSexualWonderBread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Idk my mom just said "I've got a bone in my knee" when she said that it meant i was fucked and she wasnt gonna help me do shit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wont get mad if you tell me the truth
SpiderGT2445 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol "we'll see" and "maybe"
yasen400 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my parents told me my dog got ran over by a car at the local store, the dog had bit me (I was around ~7), and when we went to the same store to get food I asked my parents why there were no blood traces on the road (it had happened the same day) and they just told me that the dog was shot. To this day I dont know if he is dead or alive, so I have to assume he is both (psychological humor). I'm almost 17 now
iLL_Cobi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're beautiful/handsome
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
ZeusBin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"My child is special" or "unique" or "so intelligent"
Robbityy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're all grown up now honey... So you should know that Santa isn't real."
Pfft yeah right
YunalescaSedai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a mother, "I'm good!" In response to being asked how I am doing. Really, I'm just trying to hold this house together.
TackyCardia9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That they love all their children equally.
Source: I'm a mother.
Tudpool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll think about it"
vinochick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't make that face or it will stay that way forever
BrazenNormalcy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The way to handle bullies is to ignore them.
Z6E1Z9O ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are handsome
18 years later..... still no girlfriend
coinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What time it is. She's always 5 to 10 minutes ahead from the clock.
ak_kitaq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One more bite and then you can have a cookie.
Tswaggydaddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure if this has been mentioned or not, but Santa Claus was a pretty big one.
Tooth Fairy as well.
tatertotcasserole666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother used to hate the grocery store so much that'd he'd start sobbing when he heard the name of it. Not even throwing a fit, just crying like his puppy just died. My mom would always tell him we were going to the pet store since it was in the same parking lot
Lexidoodle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know he was sleeping around at the time or I wouldn't have had a child with him. I don't hate men at all. On the flip-side, you seem to have some anger issues.
SilverWolf628 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't worry, life gets better!"
rossagessausage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are handsome/pretty.
My mom didn't lie though.
JoeyPantz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eat it, it's chicken.
auerz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything's gonna be allright
hanbib ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
Oven_Dodgers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
PeaDock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My son's (daughter's) worth a shit?.. I dunno this seems kinda obvious..
A_Humble_Potato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"you can be anything you want"
lurkinurchin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's all going to be okay"
ArranMars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I have eyes in the back of my head."
I was freaking 10 years old before I realized she was lying to me.
Victorsteeghs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want to be
NSJ3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is your Uncle.
AfghanHokie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have a favorite.
balzy124 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa is real
AM_Kylearan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. He has many forms. In my house ... he is me.
bthirsty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your face is going to get stuck like that if you don't stop
Kizik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll love you no matter what."
LadySluggnutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Umm Santa?
ConcentricSD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol we aren't fancy and IM definitely not fancy. We have 6 people in our house. And the typical drink is iced tea. Which requires getting 4-6 cups out and hand filling the ice. Then pouring from the pitcher. For a kid, that plus putting out plates can take a few mins. Sometimes I do it just to make sure they are doing something to pitch in. Lol
SugarTacos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes, of course I took my pill."
Patat0man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
InfinitySupreme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That there's a special surprise at home. There's no surprise at home, mom just wants to go home already, without a screaming child making it horrid.
ReinoMardauch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be whatever you want when you grow up!!
taylor199x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your face will get stuck like that"
gxslim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God.
Hollywood_WBS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Muh edge.
jacob_v ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Im not mad just disappointed" they are definitely mad
Insiddeh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything is going to be OK.
ChrisBenRoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom's was always, "It'll only take an hour or so." in regards to some cleaning project she had. They ALWAYS turned into an all day affair.
Reckcer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
honeycaeks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Hardest job in the world"
safety_kill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
herpderp7yearsago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's someone out there for you.
irregularchoices ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"That's for the birds now" - me, every day for the last 18 months
I'm not giving whatever nasty shit you've been trying to eat to any birds!
HammyDownConsole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
don't smoke
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Early Saturday Morning
Mom: "Hey want to go shopping? It will be fun and we get to bond!"
Me: "Sure Mom!"
6 hours later, lost my mom roughly 10 times while she aimlessly browses through aisles like I don't exist and pinched 100 times for "not paying attention" only to get left at the mall.
0 toys, 0 video games, 0 movies, 0 light up sneakers, 0 fun
1 new outfit for church...THAT WE DON'T GO TO!
Arie1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is no boogyman under your bed
ShovelingSunshine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if it was a lie, but damn if she didn't forget that something was already approved and changed her yes to a no.
aykcak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Well I heard <the neighbors son> never does that to her mother and he is a straight A student"
Dr_WLIN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh you're fine, stop it"
Ok mom.....my foot is only facing backwards.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus?
Zah96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's gonna be ok
BABOON-CN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Daddy was just giving Mummy a massage."
alexandramilan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When we get sick, she'd say, "Drink this medicine, it tastes good, like candy. See it's orange flavored." I don't of course have a grudge on mom for saying those things, she only wants us to get better, but I wish she had just admitted how bitter and distasteful those were.
EllJayCee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll get square eyes watching too much tv/ too close to the tv
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every time itโs new years in Asian countries (I'm from South Korea), we get little bags/pouches of money. My mom and all of my other friends' moms said that they would keep it safe for us just like a bank, and that she would give it back to me later. I NEVER GOT ANYTHING BACKK
jaegerbrosi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't go outside without a coat, you'll catch cold"
neea22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It'll be okay.
AcrasiaCirce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your sweater doesn't itch. I'm not pulling your hair. You're not that sick. It can't hurt that bad. Ignore them and they will leave you alone.
y0uaremysunshine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Elmo went night-night ........... so did the minions.
ueeediot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fine.
botxpiol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"One more picture!"
crimsonhunter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
" I love you."
GingerCat117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're father will be back soon."
HoldOnTheNetIsWrong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm on birth control."
MyyyyyLEEEEEGGGGG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you..
mastigos1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
thecaptain456 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No, you're not adopted."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Um, yeah ... Of course your dad is your biological father..."
Newcliche ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want when you grow up."
jamisonfitz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you lie you get bumps on your tongue. Don't wanna show your tongue? Busted.
kenicolo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In term on commonly told lies... Santa Claus exist is the most common hands down
jumpyurbones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
-My Mom
sanamre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wake Up. Breakfast is ready.
Tbobx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't do that. You'll go blind.
CrazyCoKids ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"just ignore people who harass / bully you and they'll stop".
The scars on my abdomen I say are stretch marks say otherwise.
Metal-Marauder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I only want what's best for you"
LenytheMage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can't get that lego, it's only for people 13 and older, it would be illegal for you to have it.
Still gets brought up whenever they can.
PaviLargo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm doing good" When in actuality nothing good happened to you at all that day it was just average.
ArgusTheCat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is going to be alright"
getyourassmoving ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus brought you this bicycle.
Boberttightpants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom once told me she loves me
The_Chuckie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Max went to go live on a big farm where he has loads of room to run and play with other dogs."
nickkid218 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll see."
stayfullish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not a lie but 'she is not for you' and she turns out not to be.
deadbird17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Video games rot your brain.
kiblick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sitting to close to the tv will ruin your vision.
Vonselv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Im on the pill
kicknwiing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're not fat, you'll grow into it.
m4ntistobogg3nmd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Come on, we're leaving NOW"
Proceeds to chat by the door for another thirty minutes
dpschainman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
Jesmer8490 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's the hardest job in the world...
Mikemtb09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Just try it and then you'll like it."
....I don't like green food. /r/antivegan
trout9000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL my mom was awesome.
Danniboi_TX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Girls dont fart, they sometimes accidently fluff"
ACCA_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
I_gotta_load_on ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Clause.
AM_Kylearan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
From a certain point of view, perhaps. I am Santa Claus.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you, son"
Metal-Marauder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you ignore the bullies they'll leave you alone
TerrySouthernLives ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's okay"
ThatOtherGuy_CA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Daddy will be back soon"
ThrasherJunkie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
rcattt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's naptime."
Detharious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I Love you.
palodox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Assuming there is a correct religion would still mean that most of the mothers tell their children various different religious lies which can and often will deeply influence their lives and behaviors.
Zanraii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are handsome"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Mommies love all their kids equally."
No. Evolution makes you desperate to preserve your gene pool. You'd die for any one of us. But bullshit you love us all the same. I got kids. I know you have a favorite.
thejangler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is fine"
ritz-chipz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It'll be okay..."
Then your dad beats yo ass.
NeoSpartacus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"we're safe"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
mahmudurrahman75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
โI never would have done that when I was your age.โ
Guywithredd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
ericcommando ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This hurts me more than it hurts you."
DEMETHI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God.
throwCharley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything's going to be Ok"
Sammy197 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're a handsome kid.
WitlessMean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When mom is driving: "We're almost there"
Jay_of_Blue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I kicked him out because he hit me"
So why haven't you done the same for the other fucker!?
Rapper59Cents ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
KEEP your elbows off the table or the President won't come to DINNER!!!
camfys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We'll see.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not mad...I'm disappointed."
That is just Mom for mad.
kylem167 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry honey, your annoying ferret you never took care of anyway ran away. Totally believed it until my sister pointed it out 10 years later.
Loopylou1985 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In response to "Are we there yet?" We always got told "It's just around the next corner."
When we inevitably argued because we were still travelling, we got "That wasn't a corner, it was a bend/curve/the wrong angle/the sheep were the wrong side of the road so it didn't count/a corner going the wrong way etc".
pAraxE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It won't hurt." Sure!!!
HiMyNameIs_REDACTED_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
vimo777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
MOM: "It's good, it eat."
Me: "But, there was mold on it."
MOM: "I cut that part out."
Quindizzle444 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My mom always told me that if I didn't stop picking my nose, my wiener would fall off. I didn't pick my nose for a solid month.
DerTanni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything will be alright". It's kinda sad when you think about it
mynameispredictable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Friend: how's the baby?
Mom: she's good.
Baby: sceamy, runny nose, marker covered, poppy diaper wearing, brat-nanigans.
Xanza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom always told me that if you lie and stick out your tongue, it would be purple. Obviously when she asked me and my two brothers a question to find out who did whatever ridiculously heinous thing we happened to do that day the one who was guilty would be hesitant to stick out their tongue. It was ingenious, but being the deceitful little scamps we were, we wised up fairly quickly. No matter what we did--none of us show our tongues, or all of us show our tongues without hesitation--she always knew who did what.
That woman was a fucking psychic tyrant. Never underestimate a Mom.
Corruptmagician ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Daddy and I are going to take a nap. Don't bother us."
Shadow00188 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just going in to say hi and I'll be right back out." Hispanic moms man, turn 5 mins into 2 hours
oldcrustybuffet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Our local grocery store had these metal access panels on the floor and one time I kept jumping on it and making a racket. My mom was annoyed and said that's where the "bad children" are put for misbehaving. I guess it worked because I avoided walking on those panels for years afterwards.
ThaNorth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you son."
ArgyleNudge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shocked at how many of these I use on my son, more shocked that all you little monsters are on to us. I've told my son, I only need to pick up three things. A shopping cart later. Told him it was almost 7:30 when it was like 10 minutes after 7. Always give him the best piece, only piece, or last piece of whatever food we have that he likes (after his dad though, if his dad is home, etc.) Have told him dinner is ready 15 minutes before it actually is. The more I read, the more I'm guilty of!
seafood10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll just be a minute!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if it's common but a thing my mom used to tell my sister and I was that if we lied our tongues would turn black. Every time she thought we were lying she'd tell us to stick out our tongues and if we refused she knew we were lying.
axxxle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never tried cigarettes
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you crack your knuckles, they'll hurt when you're older"
PoiZnVirus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You look great."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That truck playing music through the neighborhood, it's the music truck...
No joke, when I finally found out it sold ice cream I went to my mom and said "Hey Mom, the music truck sells ice cream!"
jiggapatto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The police are coming to take you to the naughty boys home
xarthos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That sugar makes you hyper.
pjplatypus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
Ace8889 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mel_cache ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here ya go!
ulmxn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're gonna do something great in life.
lulatscha_meme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I fall down and something hurts... "the wounds will heal until you're married..."
aek427 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll kiss it and make it better...
I still have full blown AIDS
_TheOtherWoman_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The guinea pigs got picked up in a limo and went to Guinea Pigville where they play with other guinea pigs and have a carnival every single day. They just smelled bad and I gave them away. I should add that they were given to them, I didn't buy them.
Billebill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are SO smart!
TheAndrew6112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
BigBubbalu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
yocancountto5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dad is coming home, I promise...... ;-;
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're special and/or gifted.
munchler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Of course I'm not letting you win," when deliberately letting the child win.
QueenPenelopeofMacon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll think about it.
CrazyInvention ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where babies come from
tasos500 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe.
MzHartz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm right because I'm the Mom."
goochclunker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We're only stopping at the grocery store for one thing. grabs cart
Swing_Wildly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're all my favorite!"
Fastlife599 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
mommies don't fart
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your dad is a piece of shit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hot girls will like you if you always act nice to them.
ueeediot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This sign (points to any sign) says the park closes in 10 minutes.
20Maxwell14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You will stop growing taller if you keep touching yourself."
So when I was 12, I "aggressively" touched myself and I came. It shit the hell out of me worrying I will be a midget.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are worms in cookie dough and cake batter, eat it raw and you'll get worms.
<swore I had worms most of elementary school, tried to ask the dr about it in private once>
ewisnes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I remember what it was like being a kid."
PClicious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are not fat, just have thick bones"
-Most mothers
MissCrayCray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing a baseball bat can't solve.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can't dress like that (skanky) I never did!"
I even have a few family members who do this, hell I even agree with it.
But I know all of them were prego really young, it wasn't planned, and they weren't married. So, it's a total lie.. But, I see where it needs to be done as I wouldn't want my daughter being a skanky or even dressing like one.. Regardless of how my wife was when she was younger.
I don't have a wife or kids, I'm just saying where I feel like I'd be on the subject if I did.
SniffItFirst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus is real
Saad-Ali ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
clothes shrink
BigRedKahuna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're pretty/handsome.
urPenguinsRbelong2us ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you'll grow into it.
svirani97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We're leaving now"
Sbro-90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At kids artwork, "Wow, that's amazing!"
Timmay13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do (insert command) now or Santa/Easter Bunny won't come this year.
RadChadTheLad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your so handsome/cute/pretty"
curly_k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom- "Will you go grab (purse/bag/groceries) out of the car?" Me- ".....uhhhh (stalling cause can't say no)" Mom- "I'll time ya!" Me-promptly runs out side to get quickest time. Plops the purse down. "How fast!?!" Mom-replies with random number of seconds.
Took years to put together ๐
InvisibleJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
everything is going to be ok
HMFOG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, there's no more (insert delicious treat here) left! ::Waiting until kids go to bed to eat delicious treat of which there remains copious amounts.::
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want to be.
RNZack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
YouBuyMeOrangeJuice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry, we can't come, I have a headache."
JamieCrucial ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you."
Bullshit. My ass hurt more than your feelings.
LunchBoxPrez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That I can amount to anything
SciFidelity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're the father
noocuelur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll See"
dfisher4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll go blind!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Santa's watching!!"
Brewe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm proud of you"
ibarra_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're handsome
xRedStaRx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Girls like nice guys
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're so handsome."
shadowgattler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
SpankMeDaddy22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me and dad were fixing that broken fan in the bedroom
_DivadC_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're old enough to do it yourself xD
asmorningdescends ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're pretty.
froggyterri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love my kids equally
Billbaru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your father is coming to pick you up.......
eat_me_now ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's no more "insert junk food here"
nameloCmaS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mums know everything.
Turned it around now and wind her up for that when she says I don't know.
PM_ME_YOUR_EMRAKUL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nice try.
Spyu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Daddy will be back soon.
dumbstruck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It'll be alright
90s_rap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's always someone watching you
motherisaclownwhore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They'll like you for your personality
Davidtr45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Coffee makes you short.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
joeshhmoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
When one of our pets died. My mom would always say "they moved to the farm" I always hoped one day to visit the farm. wasn't until I was older I realized they were actually all dead.
asmosdeus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was always taught that if I fiddled with my dick, it would fall off.
ethanleep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a kid"
tap-rack-bang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are special, smart, and attractive
dee_elle_ay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe"
MissFushi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your fish ran away sweetie.
richawesomness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
kornel_01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
JForeIsBae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom said she loved me this one time
nellenelli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We will see...
just_choose_already ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if it's common, but my mum used to say she could tell when I was lying because I would have a black tongue
Ehvlight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you are beautiful sweetheart even though the kid is objectively ugly
Rayvenwolf13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It may taste bad, but that just means it's good for you". No, it means you're a horrible cook and are making us this slop because you're don't want the food to get wasted.
GoatGodSatan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your special.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I need to check your Halloween candy for poison!
thr0away8675309 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa.
buddawiggi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It'll be alright.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
Gatseul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you mom" "I love you too son"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
lettis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
your handsome
easycurl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're handsome
SPEEDIN459 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I've got eyes in the back of my head"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That their kid is special
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It'll all be okay" you don't really know...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
god will punish you
switch8000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Christmas is canceled!
omejia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do what you want.
aayushaeran ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: Mom I want only 2 chapatis
Mom: No you have to eat 3
Me: No, I am not hungry for 3
Mom: brings 2 chapati the size of 4 chapatis
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kid: "what are you eating"
Me: "poison" (holding chocolate)
Jelonzr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
tranquil__eyes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
Soulreape ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I've never had sex!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My child is very advanced for his age...
Are we talking about the same kid?
Pato-1970 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mi hijo no era cholo!!
Ridicolas_Cage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"There are snakes in there"
xIKratos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you" . . . Kill me please : )
dougiemeowserMD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The boys only tease you because they think you're pretty!
No, no they didn't mom.
ArrogantOwl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It'll get better, I promise.
Astramancer_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Come help me weed the flower beds"
I'm sorry mom, but "Help" implies YOU'LL FUCKING DO SOME OF THE WORK TOO. I don't give a shit about the flower beds, you do. I'm willing to help, but I'm not willing to do all of it myself!
I have issues.
kcazthemighty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Video Games will give you seizures.
AMBARBARIAN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can do or be whatever you want.
No, no you can't.
HiderDK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Thiefs to do not exist".
Next day I had a really heated argument with the other kids in kindergarten, but you know, I trusted my mom.
liam2015 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"One more glass of wine, then we're leaving"
ill_change_it_later ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I can't pick, I love you all the same."
wallofvoodoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're special.
WhoppaChoppa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Vodka goes bad after it's opened
frecklie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are special/unique"
threehundred33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
dga1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you are already 30 mint late from office...when i getup in hurry...after my taking bath she set the clock time as original time...Just to keep me punctual
MacGrumble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't be silly, you can't lose things INSIDE the house."
Remri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"you can be anything you want to when you grow up." fuck you mom, I can't be a dragon that shoots French fries instead of fire from my mouth.
deebler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
god is real.
technostructural ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't put your hands in your pockets".
Why TF not?
petgreg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If your father says it's ok, it's ok. Just got my dad in trouble, and I still couldn't do it.
softcorecorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No, of course you're not adopted."
MrSleepin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can achieve ANYTHING you put your mind to!
lachiendupape ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love your father
CosmoClone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where babies come from
lachiendupape ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've never seen you masterbate
Snowfire27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll pay you back if you loan me some money.
SpartanD21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you (insert their son or daughters name).
justsomewhitedude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't touch that. You'll go blind
RexUmbra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not a verbal lie, but when they call your name and you tell back "WHAT?" and all of a sudden theyve gone deaf.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'You are as unique as everyone else!'
Rocky87109 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have eyes in the back of my head.
hopopo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We were planing on having a baby
kingofthediamond ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can pull out
danceincircles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"...you'll put your eye out" I just got a nasty scar on my cheek.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's your dad.
heyjohnnyjohnny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He IS your father.
airsofter253 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
lachiendupape ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The boat is safe, well be in Greece before you know it.
beargrease_sandwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Carrots are good for your eye sight. This was a lie Britain spread during WWII so Germany didn't figure out that Britain knew where they were at night. "We eat a lot of carrots in Britain, that's why we can see you at night." The fucked up thing is, this is a lie most mothers don't know is a lie. But it is.
virtualKuma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I have eyes in the back of my head"
TheGoldenFangBang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're special. You can be anything you want to be in life.
killmesara ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
Alex_Musial ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No, I don't know where your toy went."
I used to have one of those old Bop-Its. I loved the damn thing, and I played it every second of the day. And then it just disappeared. Looked all over. I cried. I got over it.
I think I was sixteen when I found the thing hidden in the shed. Never brought it up to my mom.
ShakeBoss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Won't you try this food? It's delicious" ...before trying it herself....
redfallhammer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's your father.
Bloodnofsky27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No I didnt burn your Pokรฉmon and yugioh Card Collection" couple years back still hurts T_T
exomachina ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything is going to be alright.
moocharific ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i've got lies in the back of my head
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When a child is misbehaving in a supermarket and the mother points to am employee and says "the man will get you!"
What the hell am I going to do about your shitty child?!
crowmeth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Their age
popemichael ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't do drugs or smoke pot"
Children see way more than you give them credit for.
Coelacanth1938 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I want what's best for you."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always told me I was handsome growing up. To this day I swear she was tripping
RandomlyAgrees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you don't behave, that man is going to take you!"
No lady, I want nothing to do with your little shit of a child. Please stop using my ogrish appearance to try to educate him/her.
OriginalName457 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're such a handsome young man."
NevaMO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you just tell me the truth you won't get in trouble.....yeah bullshit!
grovertheclover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"What happened to my Back to the Beach vhs tape?" - me "I don't know, you must have lost it just like you lose everything. You need to take care of your things!" - mom
I found my Back to the Beach vhs tape a few months later in my parents bedroom with their tapes - was soooo happy. Put it in the vcr and somehow Back to the Beach had transmogrified into Buttnicks 3.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tomorrow.
about212ninjas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are handsome/pretty
BeeferSutherland90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favorite child,"
Rubydoo715 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I tell my kids that if they ever skip brushing their teeth, all of their will have fallen out by morning. I tell them if they don't floss, trolls will live in their teeth and eventually knock them out.
dalehigh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can't go swimming for an hour after eating or on a full stomach ... this is a lie ...
LoveAberrantly23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To toddlers:
"Don't touch, that's caca" to just about everything.
"Don't touch, that's HOT" to just about everything.
"This is a magic [X] that keeps [insert fear] away!"
To teens:
"You can get/do that when you're older."
TWO YEARS LATER:
"I'm older now."
"No."
"Well, fuck."
ashecatcher805 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
Shanbo88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you sit there much longer your eyes are gonna go square"
fadingpoem86339 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll be there in a few minute." More like 10 years later
Asubatsu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thankfully my parents never pulled this stunt with me. But listening to other parents with young kids over the years the most common hoax I've witnessed is:
Child commits minor annoyance or does something that they might have been scolded for before.
Parent decides to announce, "Well we were going to do (thing you really enjoy), but with you acting like that we're just going to go straight home." When there was zero plan or notion or even time available to do said activity.
jace100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
That might just be mine, though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Of course you are beautiful"
SuperKirbyFan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stand perfectly still and the bees/wasps can't see you. The only time I listened to that is the only time I've ever gotten stung.
hometown_holly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. When wasps or bees are involved, it's best to run as fast as you can in the opposite direction and scream as loud as possible. The combination of decibels and the draft of you running away confuses the wasp and it stings itself to death.
Leradine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
Laitneulfni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The word "Yes" and the word "No"
Wellfuckme123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Child - "Why not?
Mother - "Because I said so."
Child's thought process - No mother, you just destroyed any authority you had by using a bullshit reason to explain your bullshit rules, STOP LYING TO ME and tell me the truth.
Mother - "Are we Okay?"
Child's thought process - You wont trust me with the truth, Well then - I am never going to respect you the same amount ever again, or tell you the truth either
And we wonder why we have delinquent children who hate authority.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boy is such a good boy.
Nero_A ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.
Bullshit.
CorpusAlienum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's gonna be alright..."
ia15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, honey, you're not adopted.
littleblkcat666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Going blind
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you grow up, youre going to have woman lined up around the block.
FamousM1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa is real
Xirxcis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're special.
Lawant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're the most handsome boy in the entire world.
Crosby311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you, son.
Uhurus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eat crusts of your sandwish, otherwise you don't get breadts.
Benderbluss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure about common, but...
My wife and I told our kids there was a music truck that drove down the street playing a little tune to make everybody feel happier....because we didn't want to get hounded for ice cream every time the kids heard that sound.
Uhurus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Breasts
torridzone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa is real.
pugfantus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This hurts me more than it hurts you."
IAMWIZBANG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"...
cdbushey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
Omegaki314 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not mad at you"
FitterthanYou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That cows milk is healthy and builds strong bones, the same with meat being healthy and a great protein source.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're perfect just the way you are."
PsychoSunshine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if this is common, or my mom is just awesome: "(We/they/store) (are/is) out of (thing)," followed by, "lol jk surprise!" Both of my parents do this every once in a while, and it's great. Here's an example that happened two days ago:
My parents had to go run some errands, and I had recently found out that our local Target carried Cards Against Humanity. Like ~20 minutes later, I get this picture from my parents. I'm like, "alright, they'll get more later," and I go about the rest of my day. A while after my parents get home, my mom asks me to get my laundry basket and put my laundry away (because she's awesome enough to fold my laundry for me when I forget). As I'm putting it away, I find this in my basket!
calcographer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Stop touching yourself! You'll go blind!"
Still 20/20, so mum was wrong.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't ever tell a lie."
TheSuperSucker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try it, you'll like it.
Turnedleft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Anything is possible.
Will9t7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Carrots will help you see in the dark!"
Takeme2yourleader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Catching a cold virus with out a jacket
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because I said so!
mo_macks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll be right back!" Every night at bedtime. It works on the three year old about 2 nights out of 5. ๐
kl0wny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine still to this day is "you'll catch a cold" if I go outside without drying my hair well enough to her liking.
Khanfushus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want to be.
Taladen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why your father left.
GodIfYouListeninHELP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me chicken nuggets were the testicles of little boys who didn't listen to their moms.
project_valient ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you ok? Like, did you grow up ok?
RagingRedHerpes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus man, my mom was just physically abusive, but I would have taken that over chicken tendie testicles any day.
dudleydidwrong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He is yours. He just happens to look like your best friend.
Ror_Schach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are the father."
Believeland16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
@ bed time, "I'll be back in a minute"
Oh how long a minute is!
Jaychillin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're so much better than _____! Or even a step further You're the best player on the team! I preferred the brutal honesty from my dad.
hoobody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
Annoyingsonic1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We're gonna be alright.
Wistie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You'll understand when you're older."
No, I don't. I don't understand any of this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That you can be anything you want to be. My goodness what a truck load of nonsense.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cracking your fingers causes arthritis
Unkn0wn_Ace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: STOP ARGUING WITH ME!!!! (When she started it)
RedditMapz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mexican mother at family gathering. "Mapz, come over! We are about to leave." Mother proceeds to talk for 30 minutes to an hour to family "saying their goodbyes". If I attempt to move 1 meter she loses her shit and says "Don't go anywhere! We are about to leave." Every time.
BolongoX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe" - The biggest crock of shyt I've ever heard. There is "Yes" and "Maybe". Don't lie you clap havin jezebel. Just shut down my hopes and dreams rather than letting me think whatever I asked is going to happen.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We can buy it on the way out."
LeahxLove917 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God is real.... wrong subreddit? XD
RagingRedHerpes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats not a lie. I'm right here. ;)
mel_cache ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God has herpes? God is herpes?
RagingRedHerpes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am he who is known as I Am.
LeahxLove917 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Touche.
MoifMurphy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stop picking your nose or your head will cave in.
Sheep_Slayer_6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We could "make" that!
totally_not_THAT_guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That they love you.
wentlyman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It tastes the same as __________ , it's just as good."
JigsawComplex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything will be alright.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You look fine"
gir971 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
summerfield85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are/were too good for him/her."
JacobDPartlow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
Meisnerman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No, I haven't seen those pajamas you love that don't fit you anymore"
Whatsthisaboot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It'll fall off if you play with it too much.
Magicturtle361 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You don't need this chocolate bar"
0pportunistic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your dad must've eaten your candy.
damselnoir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course Daddy is your real Father!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'It's their loss, not yours'
TheBoldManLaughsOnce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We'll have sex tomorrow
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you tell me what happened then you won't get in trouble. Lol I fell for this so many times as a kid. Don't know why I never figured it out
rob_banks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll see."
Sheilasheshe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe later.
nicholas090 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're special sweetie!" lol
Bobdobbs2k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably, "It's your kid." Perhaps I am a cynic.
wiggilator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Just getting bread and milk" returns from the store after 3 hours with two shopping carts full of stuff.
Always thought that was a hell of a lot of bread and milk.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you sit too close to the tv, you'll go blind
FracturedAnt1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You aren't adopted
mamimi77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll understand when you're older.
theblanksign ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Drugs are bad for you."
Chrispychilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I didn't sleep with your friends"
Jushak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my case it's either "I'm sure I told you about this" or "I'll call you later". I always feel like I'm the last person in the family to hear everything and she almost always forgets to call back.
Of course my mother's excuse when I was a kid was that "I told you but you didn't listen!" Often with claims that I wasn't paying attention because I was playing a game or some such.
Now that I've lived on my own for a decade that excuse no longer works. I still hear about everything last. She can't blame it on lack of communication either, since we talk over a phone pretty regularly.
whiskeylady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course that's your real dad!
Married2BPD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're so handsome."
hashtagrealtroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're handsome.
Ultyma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll shoot your eye out.
coffeeblossom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favorite." Pssht. Please. All parents have a favorite. Now, only the crappy ones intentionally make it obvious, but all parents have a child they like a little more than their other ones. (They may love all the children equally, but, since they're human, they don't like them all equally.)
bobby_c2307 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You were the only one we tried to have.
TheBigLman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll remember that.
Carlton-Hanks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I really like this clay pot you made for me!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Arcturus_Vega ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
YES
rhoran2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That you were a mistake. Sometimes they don't even realize it was a lie.
faruzzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I used to be a Straight A student"
Rikkoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a handsome boy
2012sachem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"my kid would never do something like that"
tdubwo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We'll only be in Lowes for a minute.
mylifein3d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is ok."
That is the arch-lie told by every mother to every toddler ever. It's not true. It's never true. There's war and ecological desastet and financial crisises and to make it all worse people, who don't give a shit about neither and, to top it all off, people making profit from all of it. But it doesn't matter. For the toddler it doesn't matter. For the toddler all that matters is that its mama is there and that it cares.
Still It's a lie.
Robtommorow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well fuck..
ncrtx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
MrNudeGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You look fine. And your so handsome! I hear whispers about people saying I'm attractive but between my grandma mom and gf I don't believe them.
cayleb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:17:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are attractive, though.
MrNudeGuy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:45:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you kind internet stranger that's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day
iithisiiguyii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll see."
xPopcorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kisses makes the boo boo go away.
bepseh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're the best"
Lockstrom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
OneeyedPete ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It will be alright.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
champagnelove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
That pushing the hazard light button in the car would eject the front passenger and then threatening to push it. I love my mom!
Swa9Dra9on ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
Wait. My mother, or all mothers?
Sup909 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm gonna count to three."
Rotten__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're very special"
Father_McFeely_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"They're closed"
fknzed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"its gonna be okay"
YeahTinyRuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
ReadyForChaos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything will be alright."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll see.."
vmt_nani ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm listening/watching."
omgdracula ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"you're my favorite child."
Arcturus_Vega ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard that one that's for sure
omgdracula ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:08:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're my favorite redditor Arcturus
Arcturus_Vega ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:11:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
๐๐๐๐๐
victoryreedy35 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's what's in the inside that counts."
Arcturus_Vega ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Way too true ๐ smh
saxlo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
Arcturus_Vega ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly what I had in mind when I read the question ๐๐ญ
Slav_1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you do X I'll give you Y. y u no give me Y
IHaveBearArms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God will help.
NenuNenuBoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Mom, where do babies come from?"
".... A light descends from heaven and enters a mother's belly creating the baby"
Bleda412 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are no monsters under the bed.
yagidy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your such a smart, handsome boy.
ive_got_wormss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom opened 5 credit cards in my name without telling me and racked up the balances. Now I'm $10,000 in debt. Not common, but shitty.
Robtommorow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck man, how are you going on about it? I'm in a similar situation. My mother used my social to open various cell phone lines. Any tips?
dgriffith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Call them and say that you are a victim of identity fraud, then when they say, "O RLY?" ask them for all the evidence from your alleged signups. They need a signature or some other solid evidence that it was you, and they need to prove it.
You don't need to tell them who did it, but it does seem that your mother needs to learn about actions and consequences. Bit of a change of roles there, I know.
RagingRedHerpes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But how did she lie to you about it?
ive_got_wormss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She used my social security number and information against my will to open 5 credit cards in my name and made herself an authorized user. I only found out because I checked my credit report.
RagingRedHerpes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know those feels. I had to go through a bunch of shit when I came of age because my mom put lights and phones in my name when I was a kid. Took about 2 years to get it all sorted out by having to keep submitting records showing that I wasn't even of age when it happened.
trodamcnew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're the father...
BeyondAJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At the grocery store "Stand in line, I'll be right back"
nashvortex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To her kid : we always wanted you...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you" that wasn't just mine right
CocoMugg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The pet fish swam away
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're special.
Newsflash. You aren't special. Thinking you are only sets you up for failure.
Lifeboatinthedark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your dad doesn't want to see you.
CerealKillerOats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
cayleb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
(With a spatula in hand, after having told me to drop trou...)
"This will hurt me more than it hurts you."
The @$#! it will!
windhurtsmyface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
son, your dad tells great jokes.
BowieBlueEye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In Wales we often say "Now in a minute". My mam used to say it to us as kids. That minute often never comes.
summerfield85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eat your ( insert green vegetable)! Children are starving in India !! (ok, thats not a lie ...but I got soooo tired of hearing it)
Superjerk42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything will be alright.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I can't afford to buy you it"
THIS is the reason kids have no sense of economy. This is why they have no self esteem. Make a deal with your kid. Make them clean the car or whatever. Empower them. Don't just leave them to grow up thinking their potential is limited by what people can afford to give them for free.
giggity_giggity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
to young child who won't go to sleep without mom: "Just lie there in bed, I'll be right back to cuddle with you after I use the bathroom"
frossenkjerte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was my dad, but, "If you don't like school after a year or two, you can quit." Years after his death and my graduation, my rage is still endless.
DissatisfiedPenguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, not a lie, but an omission of the fact that she is under no illusion about your level of intoxication when you come home on Sunday mornings...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I would never hurt you."
aaroonski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you..."
Mord_Mckee84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You sing really good
PM-Me-Your-BeesKnees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want to be."
newtsontoast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's your baby.
Oakshror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa, the Easter bunny, tooth fairy, are all real
Dreadsin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone will love you
;_;
lilbunny24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We have food at home.
deathtodolphins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If the ice cream van plays music it means he's ran out of everything
InevitableHiraeth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're my favorite child.
Sp4ceCore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll be there SOON"
PhoDeNguyen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm fine"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus is real.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Common with divorced mothers:
Your father doesn't love you or Your father is a terrible person
Searacine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be whatever you want when you grow up.
Then proceed to tell you what you should be until you move out
drmini125 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eat up, its chicken
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're beautiful no matter what other people tell you.
piratesoup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It has to be Santa. I know its for the whole magical fun experience, I am doing the same with my own kids, but it's such a long winded lie lasting for a stupid amount of time.
Bexaddict ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
blodisnut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course you're the father.
Kontentz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom, look!
Oh yeah.
Mom did you look?!
Make_Mine_A-Double ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's all worth it, trust me..."
Hatepotatoes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Come lie in bed. You don't have to nap. Just close your eyes for 10 minutes." My 10 year old self would be pretty pissed at all the play time lost.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reaches for door and shouts " dan im going to the shops ill be five minutes"
Takes 2 hours shopping She comes me Me: YOU Took so long i missed you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm your mother, I don't lie!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm reading your typo and now cannot get the image of a fish smoothie out of my head.
ShanyMoney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL, I wonder how it tastes?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As long as it's just prepared sushi thrown in with shaved ice and milk it might actually taste ok.
idontwantoitsdumb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you keep touching it, it will fall off.
Mass_Hole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
everything is either "hot" or "caca"
HogFann89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you keep making that face, it'll stay that way forever!" I used to pull my ears outward to make a silly face, but then push them back against my head when I was done.. justincase...
Shortfuzd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not mad, just disappointed.
Electroniclog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Because I'm the mom!" bitch please
lillyrose2489 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Basically just the response they give the first time you ask about where babies come from. Especially once a kid is old enough to understand that pregnancy eventually means baby. "But mom, how does the baby get out of the belly?" "Uhhhh... the belly button. Yep. It opens up. Totally."
It didn't take long before I was like "Yo, I don't believe you" and pestered my mom until she just went "OKAY FINE, IT'S YOUR VAGINA. BABIES COME OUT OF YOUR VAGINA."
My mom clearly didn't prepare for this conversation.
Sporkspunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"McDonald's is closed."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your ugly and you cant read good.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grown ups exist.
alexmc88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Eat your crust, it's the healthiest part"
kodyvalentine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you :(
Mkuchefski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be whatever you want when you grow up."
rachelbtlr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That they don't have a favorite. Every mom has a favorite.
durandal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I will always be there for you.
ZS_Duster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
Bimanic07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That they know "everything". So said mine when trying to hide stuff from her when I was a kid.
BaldyBalls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We don't lick or bite other people."
CoffeeMermaid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"He's only pulling your hair because he likes you"
Wally450 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably when they say they're good mothers. You shouldn't be the one saying that.
OhSalmooBro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Baby's come out of the tummy
XSageXL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Im right around the corner"
Highmendestroyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was super young and I just got my first dog my mom took me to Petsmart to get him food and toys and stuff. At the checkout they had a small fridge with sodas and juices and next to it they had candy and stuff for humans. When I asked my mom for a lemonade and a snickers, she said that those were special sodas and candies for dogs and I couldn't have any :(
Jacob_Blackford ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you, son."
Tipofmywhip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be whatever you want to be
bainidhekitsune ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sorry honey, that toy you love that was really loud and obnoxious broke, mommy tried to fix it but couldn't."
HydeYourSelf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're special.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Daddy will be back he just went to the store far far away.
Nyla88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wake up it's 10 o'clock (it was actually 8).
coltonoslund ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want to be.
Len_Kasper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, I am not a huge slut!
hinjew13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always told me that if I keep yelling that the cops would come and take me and brothers away and put us into foster care. Eventually, I got to a point where I would yell louder hoping that she was telling the truth.
drfeelokay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You ate (gross food) last time, and you liked it!
nakedjuggler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
bingbongsdingdong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you're my favorite.
Shisno_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You'll shoot your eye out."
elephantsgottalive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just a minute. It's never just a minute.
Cornelius_Crackerfap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll be five minutes" ... I'm still waiting.
Kisaoda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you keep making that face, it'll stay that way."
Wrong. Stopped making face, got uglier anyway.
chris_likes_science ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your father will come back.
epicolocity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that im allowed to eat the food we have
whenever i ask if its ok if i eat something my moms pissed because im old enough to not ask her that shit and of course im allowed. When i dont ask shes pissed because i ate the food
kmurduh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I just need to stop in one place." Always turns into, "while we are out, i really need you to go with me to these other 5 places." 27 years old and she still manages to fool me with this line.
shleppenwolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffy went to live on a farm.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I brought you into this world and I can take you out!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favorite child"
macribs11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that she loves u. or at least when u live in her basement...
Galadria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll come see you soon."
YungWhale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I have to check if its posionous"
Drinks half your drink Eats half your fries
Mwb121 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I have eyes on the back of my head" would scare the crap out of me
MassW0rks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm still waiting for a watermelon to grow in my stomach.
AStormofSwines ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is going to be ok."
mustbedave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That you'll amount to anything
SamThePlatteMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not mad"
1-am-machin3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're so beautiful" :(
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That god told them to have their kids.
-Tape- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You were the most beautiful baby on Earth"
mel_cache ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's absolute truth.
dirtknapp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Look how handsome you are.
pcweber111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"we'll see". Funny my girlfriend does it to me too and I have to remind her I'm not her kids, I have one myself so don't pull that on me.
IamLockeJaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Soon.
EmberedArtist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I will pay you $100 if you do _______"
butcandy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are my favorite"
rodsepp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll think about it.
andrewisboredx2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can tell me anything" proceeds to freak out
lowryisback ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have eyes in the back of my head
murdock129 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you work hard you can become whatever you want!"
Took way too long for me to figure that was a lie
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
WoollyMittens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just ignore the bullies and they'll stop beating you up.
evolveDRoots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are special.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I just need to go to one store"
e298f622X2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your going to go to prison.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can't have that candy because you have a dentist appointment soon...
smokemarajuana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate you/don't like you/etc.
Kidwisdom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything works out in the end." Having to eventually explain to a kid that life isn't fair just sucks. By far, the worst part of parenting.
lenovo789 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"(insert question asking for permission)... maybe."
Arresfield ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are beautiful
mugsimba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"The reason I bleed every month is because you piss me off so much!"
Merovean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're Special"....
Pinguanradclaffe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That she never ever had casual sex or ever took drugs.
She was my age once, I call bullsh*t. In fact, I know its lies because my dad has said what she like as a young adult. She partied, drank, smoked pot, went travelling, had several relationships. But she denies ALL of that part of her life.
Not even because I care, I just wish she would own up to it and not demonise it.
Rynobot1019 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're special".
Rob-D ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.... At least mine!!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
THAT THEY CAN'T SMELL IT
goggleblock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"you're smart, and so handsome..."
CyborgQueen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Having kids is the best thing to ever happen to me."
benisch2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
thegodwumbo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Bye"
prisonwallet5009 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The skin of the apples is the best part! It's where all the vitamins are! Needless to say, I hated the skins of apples and still do and sussed out pretty young that if one kind of fruit was good for you without the skin (like an orange, or a banana), then it was possible to get vitamins from other no-skin fruit sources. Did it matter? No, I was still nagged about eating something I fucking HATED.
Warpimp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your father just left for some smokes and scratchers. He'll be back."
TryndamereKing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
santa claus, easter bunny, all the kind of shit
big_grizmatik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Being a Mom is the hardest job in the world." I've got Bill Burr and Dwight Schrute backing me up.
ejpierle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything is going to be OK.
Radioweez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dinnertime!" We both know it's just a trick to get me to come set the table
reammachine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad I had you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We are just going to the doctor for a checkup. Next thing you know BAM! Vaccine. Alternately, eplace doctor by dentist and vaccine by braces
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Good job!"
ThickDickVein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That their child is special lol.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait til your Father gets home! Then she never told him anything, but you were well behaved until he did get home. Good one Mom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well not really told by a lot of mothers, but mine has told me "I fucking hate you, you're just like your good for nothing father" She said that when she was going through a terrible time in her life, I hope that was just a lie.
jennydotz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was a lie. <3
standdown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A paradoxical answer to your question: "Santa won't come if you're naughty."
MachtIV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dad just went to the store"
Camdirla99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
TheVillain97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your insert friend/family member just asked me if you always act like this and I was so embarrassed" I witnessed my aunt use this on my cousin and I was like "no I didn't..."
ibkeepr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I swear you weren't an accident.
Pierce9595 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are perfect just the way you are
ScrooLooze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everythings gonna be ok"
jangus530 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I believe in santa"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
assumenothing51 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hated that one, it means NO.
SMOKE_ALL_THE_THINGS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's going to get better
klauncy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey mom do I look okay? "Yeah you look great"
_StatesTheObvious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is going to be all right"
JakDrako ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll catch a cold if you don't wear your coat when it's chilly outside.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"When it's on sale."
Aiku1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
Cephalopodursidae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
Creabhain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dad not Mom here but the hardest lie I had to tell my oldest son was when he was seven and just figured out that people die because his rabbit had just died.
I felt like such a lying asshole but I wasn't ready to tell him the truth.
Kildynn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love all of you the same
pmckizzle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"its going to be ok"
goatofwisdom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything will be OK"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"There's food at home"
Duffingood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Well you know, honey......Humans only ever have access to 10% of their brains. If we could access the rest of it, imagine what we could do."
GrindBrine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'M ON MY WAY"
Goodbye_Galaxy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You'll catch a cold!"
cardinals1996 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me I'm handsome :(
coocoocachoooo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It'll all be ok. I promise."
AwkwardNoah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sure I'll get you a computer
marcuschookt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was a really picky eater as a kid. My mom would say "fine then at least eat half of your meal" and then use her spoon to divide the food on my plate into what CLEARLY was 60/40, with the 60% closer to me.
spiraltech ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Anything regarding Santa
slayez06 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you don't quit touching that it will fall off" .. 30 years later I still touch it and it hasn't fallen off
lcbocan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
when they're on the phone and they're about to get off but rly theyre just about to start a whole new conversation
rillius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If I ever had a problem with a girl, it was my fault because "Girls are sugar and spice and everything nice."
assumenothing51 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someday you'll understand.
Tooty_frooty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If the ice cream van chimes are going it means they've run out.
glowjob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm so proud of my son!"
CrushNZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
Deacon_Blues1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have eyes in the back of my head.
TeamJim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
casualLogic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be whatever you want to when you grow up!"
Icon_Crash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're smart.
You're loyal.
You're grateful.
I appreciate that.
leengardustan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Joe got an A+, you got a C. I'M NOT COMPARING THOUGH"
jeamus-jeamus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No you can not do that" - um, yess i can?
GlassHalfEh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Because I said so." Really? So the real reason you aren't letting me get this GODDAMN ice cream cone.....is because you said so?
And they wonder why I have trust issues.
purpleflask ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
if you keep your eyes crossed they'll stay that way forever.
The70th ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents told us about the ice cream truck: "That's the music truck! It just drives around town, to spread nice music to all our neighbors!"
They developed that lie for my younger sisters. I grew up knowing the truth and, probably, incessantly begging for ice cream lol
barabusblack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll put your eye out.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Girls like nice guys"
Slezak64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Easter Bunny
PinsNneedles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Mom! Will you buy me that?! Can I clean the house for it?! I'll do anything!"
"Christmas!"
TittyTatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I won't tell your father
roonling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents used to tell my sister and I that the fridge light and the car window were controlled by little men and if we kept playing with the devices, they'd get annoyed and stop working. My dad would then disable the back automatic windows. My mum would tell us we had to apologise to the little man before "he" would work again...
Parents are cruel...
BBWlover86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Blah, blah, blah... That's how you get pregnant. Something to that extent.
coombuyah26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"The more often you shave, the thicker your facial hair will grow in!"
That's definitely not how it works. Mom is just sick of looking at her man-child's face pubes that he flaunts as his "beard."
khoifish1297 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I found you in the trash can"
skav2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The world is a beautiful place.
webspinner202 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't worry Sweetie, everything will be alright."
Lokitheanus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have eyes in the back of my head.
Rampsquatch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are special"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What you thought was your daddy
countredrider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tapioca pudding is fish eggs.
Daghostofalegend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus is Real
ballin_balas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus is real
stigmaboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
DashyDashyDot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Of course in don't have a favourite [child]"
ToddWinkelmier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I promise it won't hurt."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"when you grow up, you can do anything"
Porghana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are a handsome man!"
cmdrchaos117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is going to be ok."
No, no its not. In fact things are pretty damn fucking far from ok.
I have no jet pack.
My house does not lift up above the clouds.
My car doesn't fly. (Some talk and drive themselves so there's progress)
Hover boards kind of exist but dammit it's not the same.
My entire childhood was a deception.
sonicmasonic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are the most handsome boy ever"
Moms will say this even if you look like a burlap sack filled with shit and hit with hammers. Mom's are weird that way.
Loftoman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Anything insinuating that the concept of "God" is real.
El_Chavito_Loco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"ยกMi hijo no es cholo!"
wuffu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you, Dane" but that might just be specific to me.
Throwawayhell1111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
Lionsden95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother..." which turns into some statement related to how being a mother has suddenly made them an expert in some subject or makes what they are saying have more weight.
Freecz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have favorites"
ghastlyactions ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want when you grow up! Even president!"
Yeah... as long as people start voting for overweight middle aged balding assistant managers from Subway with a belt size larger than their IQ and a "fuck it someone else will clean it up" attitude. Sure. For real, you're meant for begrudgingly fulfilling the orders of someone more successful than you, and complaining about it on Reddit. Buckle up for mediocrity.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It'll keep growing."
piperviolet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favorite"
zankonator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tooth fairy
Padr1no ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are special.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you don't do x, I'll pull this car over and you can walk home!"
rocklob0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus exists.
NeonNick_WH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i love you
tmet2126 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"This man is your real father."
Is that a common thing or...?
EDIT: I should clarify. I was lead to believe G was my father for my entire life (he was an ok dad, a bit of a jerk but whatever) until I was 19 and then G couldn't stand the lie and told me. When I confronted my mother about it she told me it was supposed to be a secret that they kept forever.
coleyboley25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything will be okay." I just graduated from college and everything is not okay.
Player_613 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is no more candy..
Kamedaven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's gonna be okay
asianx13oy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you keep making that face it's going to stay like that"
IDCFFSGTFO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll understand when you're older.
Stormageddon221 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a lifeguard. I hear tons of parents tell their kids were sold out of ice cream even tho it's fully stocked. Always feel bad for those kids
Sword_and_Scholar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
mel_cache ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:53:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/raisedbynarcissists
cpal17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We're almost done"
madmetalman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That I'm allergic to bacon and Halloween candy; wait, all candy.
shockednappalled ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe."
highasakite91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is going to be OK!"
pm_me_im_desparate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This one....this, this
calcasieucamellias ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We're out of that."
likedailyfun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Boogey Man, etc...
WackyWarrior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love both of you the same.
DoingitWRONGG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
im not hungry
joeylogan1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
5 mintes
nholles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm your mom !
noutaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To save on the water usage, my mom once told me that showering everyday makes you less smart. I was that kid that cried when he got 60% score on a small, primary school test. Believed it for way too long.
t_funk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the existence of the tooth fairy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm your mom."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Daddy and I were just wrestling
Funny_lil-Bunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It'll get bigger when you grow up"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
YourLocalMonarchist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"im borrowing money son, ill pay you back next payday"
I lost atleast 300+ in allowance until i started hiding it.
๐๏ธ cant_even_such_wow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
she will pay you back when your like 80. say goodbye to that 300 bucks pal
mel_cache ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's all going to be okay.
SeanConneryDrYes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It'll all work out in the end
xXHansYoloXx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fine
๐๏ธ cant_even_such_wow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
CORRECTION: that is a lie most commonly told by women in general, not just moms. However I do applaud you for answering both questions before hand. tip of the hat
xXHansYoloXx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually read the question wrong. I thought it was "What is the most common lie we tell our mothers"
I would like to change my answer to "Because I said so"
๐๏ธ cant_even_such_wow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
APPROVED!
St0rmb0lt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Father Christmas
illirica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not the most common, but one my mother always told me: "Oh, the windows in the backseat (of the car) only open that much." I seriously spent a good part of my young childhood thinking that back-seat car windows could only be opened about 4 inches. Also, I just cued in to the fact that she was lying about this like a week ago when I said to my daughter, for the 25th time on a 10 minute car ride "No, we don't need the windows open any more than that!" Ohhhh!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll know what it's like to have kids some day.
Admiral_Nowhere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
kingjaymz3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
Tribinblzzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"........
Tetra-76 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That their kid is "beautiful". I know I look like garbage, everyone says it but her, I've never had anyone say anything positive about how I look...
I'm not pretty and I never will be, maybe I wouldn't have such a hard time accepting it if she wouldn't lie about it.
Redlight_Riddler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No pica"
rkaterle59 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"you'll shoot your eye out"
KevinLacey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Of course I'll do this puzzle with you"
EliteSnipes420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's gonna be okay
XvX_Joe_XvX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Daddy will be home soon
prince-flies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're gonne be just fine.
a-deleted-history ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This painting is beautiful! I love it"
blackgreen710 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your pretty"
lilzmoez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Youre handsome
andrechan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lying down will make your hair white. Fapping will make you blind.
0xcyx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll do fine.
NorthernKrusher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can do anything you set your mind to."
Kaiser_Kat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Because I said so."
The common be-all end-all for an argument she couldn't win or didn't want to engage in.
Bumpitybeep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
naughtyvixenveronica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"My kid(s) is sick!"
therealmatthewlam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Some guy will be lucky to be married to you one day." Always see it in fictional things.
the_prime_radiant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We love you and your siblings equally"
eittie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We will go to Disneyland this year.
or
I'll be there for _____.
joshyyy123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Food is ready...
sweatpantsinspace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's someone for everyone...
mikeyip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
cucuy
RabbitonSaturn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
cmclewin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just need to grab <grocery item> and I'll be right back.
Gamerred_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Easily that Santa Claus, Easter Bunny etc. is real..
gcavalon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll close the door.
Nathangray77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
That you're special. No you aren't, you are just like everyone else. You are special to her, there's a difference. *spelling
tickelingtheivories ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Of course you're special"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your dad just went to the store. He'll be back shortly."
HatlessSuspect ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going out for cigarettes and herion. I'll be home later
theprokill3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He went to get bread and milk!
D89raj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't sit close to the TV!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
WillNotBeAThrowaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're beautiful"
qalamar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dinner will be ready in 5
Lazyprawn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course you're my favorite.
Alexisfrozen383 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It'll be okay
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
NO MOM THE PROPHET NEVER SAID THAT YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO PEE STANDING UP AND ITS AS DISRESPECTFUL AS PISSING ON YOUR MOTHERS HEAD!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm your mother
Darkimus-prime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you play with it, it'll fall off
Patfanz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa is real.
Id51 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"That girl is nothing but trouble!"
I missed out on SOOO much fun as an adolescent because I believed that.
T0M1N4T0RZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just need to talk for a few more minutes.
allenahansen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My son was five years old before he figured out that mothers don't really have eyes in the back of their heads.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa is real
Security_Scrub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're the Father.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa.
NorthernSpectre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're a handsome young man and you'll find love some day"... So many lies in that sentence.
mcgarad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The bread crust is where all the vitamins are.
alphamiller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hardest job in the world.
softlikethesunset ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have any change".
jasmith2706 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm your mother
KurdishWarrior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Food is ready".
WustacheMax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
(Insert threat here) on the count of three. "one..... Two.... Twooooooo"
Your_reddit_ID_Here ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: "Oh I'm not mad". Not at all.
MystyDikship ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In just a minute....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you both the same."
nightcrawler3206 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love being a mom
jmelina ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you don't close your eyes when the dentist rubs the special sleepy medicine on your tooth it won't work. Hey, I'm just looking out for you!"
SanFranciscoChris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My son/daughter is bright
SillySpaceKitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
โYou can't have sex with someone you don't love. It will make you feel bad and lonely.โ
Multiple no-strings-attached sexcapades later... No. Not in the least. Lost my virginity to a hot graduate student and still pretty proud of little freshman undergraduate me.
JKrusas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This will be buried, but:
"Your friends aren't really your friends. Some day, they will turn on you. You can't trust anyone"
helloheyhithere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, your dad will be right back
Meeseeks_Senior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"_______" is your father.
Gamzy92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
e19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It will only be 5 minutes" My concept of time has been skewed since early childhood.
CalamityCancer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
yertr3y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
aahagerr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You'll understand when you're older"
I will never understand, mom, never.
Cooperg7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
Photoshoploser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'You look nice today' and 'You are a nice person'.
JackDULU0Z ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Girls don't fart."
Mgmegadog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:22:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum couldn't pull this one. She was the one everyone would blame when the perpetrator was unknown.
QuoiJe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything is going to be allright. No it is not!!
P33J ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Of course he's your father."
bebopblues ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't listen to these redditors, Jeffrey. I would never lie to you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
andrew420baller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
cptmiek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
maguirenumber6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stop that or that man (points at random) will tell you off
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything is gonna be ok
Blu3j4y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you touch yourself, God will see you."
I reckon I gave God quite the show every night. Like God doesn't have better things to do than watch a 13 year old beat the meat. Damn, God, you a pervert!
ShutUpTodd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It tastes like chicken.
larsole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything will be alright"
tximport ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your face will freeze like that.
nicedayfora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I scrolled pretty far down and didn't see this one: "you'll understand when you're older". I'm older now, mom. I still don't know what the heck is going on.
sfcjohn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That your son or daughter is the greatest person in the world once they die.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus, tooth fairy, Easter bunny
girlwholuvssethrogen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You weren't an accident"
Nurial ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not a common lie but there were a few occasions where my mom would try to feed me and my sister tylenol pm pills at night and she said that they were vitamins.
diz4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did not have sex with OP
c0rnfus3d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you keep touching it, it's going to fall off! Ha, haven't lost it yet mom!!!
Kap1tan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're so smart
maniacal-seahorse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll think about it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you just tell me what happened you won't get in trouble"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We're just going to visit grandma for a few minutes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll take you to Disneyland next year.
That year never came...
fcknkllr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you keep doing that you'll go blind
groxg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can do anything.
zubzub147 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I care about my children's well-being." As she blows smoke in their face to get a reaction from them while a cartoon is on her phone that she is "allowing them to watch"
spookymommy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa. Every damn year.
mastersimrad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"There's no such thing as monsters"
Jm_777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favourite, I love you and your brother the same!"
SioBane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have eyes in the back of my head
TheWierdAsianKid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you make that face long enough it'll freeze like that"
snakesareawesome1000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's going to be OK."
Aiox123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"There's no such thing as monsters..."
Lawlimreptar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It'll be ok" lol
CodeMonkeyX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mother knows best.
DiabolicalTrivia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's broken You want to go to the fair - broken The pool at the hotel - broken sorry Ice cream - broken
Jm_777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just going out to get cigarettes, i'll be right back"
Xaayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are special
odaatnaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tomorrow, I really messed with my oldest daughter with that one. She would say "you said we could". I would tell her , "I said we could tomorrow, it is not tomorrow, it is today". Took her awhile before she would use the proper day of the week.
arlliz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We're leaving in 5 minutes."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course I love your father.
mzkp54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have a favorite
Shame_Train ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favorite. I love you all equally." Cough....cough...mmmmbullshit.
noko808 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Cheaters never win"
MnM97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are not adopted
crumbbelly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's that power can be innocent.
rogueSF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"stop making that face or it'll be stuck like that!
PrivateBAustin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't wear your sun hat you will get dehydrated and you will have to go to the hospital. I believed that until I was 13,bear in mind the "sun hat" was a 1970s style fishing hat
NeapolitanFish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're my favorite.
MeatCookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"They're just jealous."
aqua69cuZn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some other time.
Bulimic_Fraggle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This will be fun!"
Whatever comes next is not going to be fun.
Poullafouca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I will take your iPad away for the rest of your life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not my mom, but my dad "lost" my CD containing "baby got back". I was only about 8 or 9 at the time and had no idea what the lyrics meant. Now I can only imagine his horror at overhearing me listening to that haha.
azraq54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you don't stop playing with that, you'll go blind"
515chiefspride ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love all of you the same"
Dawidko1200 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Get dressed we have to get going soon"
An hour later, while I finish my fifth cup of tea she starts to get dressed.
starsky1357 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Cheese before bed gives you nightmares."
Slipguard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Chip ran away, honey."
Chip didn't run away. Our new dog ate him. Parents didn't tell my sister this until she was nineteen.
smalley88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything will be okay", still waiting
Utopiarun1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you make a silly face: "it's going to stay that way"
GINGANINGA01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll tell you when you're older."
ackypoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"you'll catch pneumonia!"
Pantera7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dinners ready!" Before you come out to wait another 10 minutes until dinner is ready
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'We've got sweets at home' No mum, biscuits aren't sweets! They're not sweets!
theweedwacker69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some day
Khan_the_Duck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you lend your toy to him (tipically the son of a friend of her) I'll buy you three tomorrow
pigsblood4allah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That i must love the fucking cunt because she gave birth to me !!! I didn't make the choice to come out of her nasty ass cunt !!!
umclunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"The police are your friends."
unofficialbds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"there is a god"
DezXBryant88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Daddy is coming back"
govment-cheeze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa clause is real
SkittlesMcClure ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
masturbating will make you go blind or have hairy palms
Gabrielasse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you keep making silly faces it's going to stay that way.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I like/love your gf/wife."
krispness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Put on a hat or you'll catch a cold. I'll catch a cold if someone sneezes in my face, I'll get hypothermia if I get too cold.
FoldedJokers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe, i'll think about it!
Sevy0719 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I just need to return a few things quick"
beachbound2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe later
manhattanitis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I knew a girl in high school who..." (my mom telling her amazing getting wasted, and high on acid stories).
Poppamunz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:43:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not really a lie- she did technically know herself.
manhattanitis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's true in a legal sense perhaps, but I think under mom-law any willful and intentional mischaracterization of the truth counts as a lie. At least it did in my mom's jurisdiction.
turboyabby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You weren't born in a hospital, I found you in the woods being raised by wild llamas" just me?
turrii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
nice drawing
4thena92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It'll be different when it's YOUR kid!"
J_Bendy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can grow up to be whatever you want
Splurgal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you...
RedditSanity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I will always love you son"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want!"
marksoutherntwain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never spanked you as a child.
Whatsamattahere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you and your siblings equally.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'if you masterbate you'll go blind'
mrerik314 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
lurker_bee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything will be alright.
_tangible ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you.....
dkalaxdk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I DON'T know where yours stuff is!
interrupt_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
5 Minutes later = If I'm not out in 5 minutes it means I actually found shit I wanted. If I'm not out in 15 minutes it means I met up with a friend from highschool. If I'm not out in 30 minutes you probably shouldn't have been waiting in the car so it's your fault for staying behind.
CR1986 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm proud of you"
Mister-builder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We're leaving now.
Fenton296 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Son/Daughter wouldn't do that!
Needs2Talk2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're special
treemanswife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We're don't have any ice cream"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're not ugly"
nmgoh2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything's going to be OK"
Flabbergash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"you'd better behave, look, here comes the man!!"
Pointing at you, random stranger.
They always complain when you pick the kid up and shout at him though. Such a double standard.
TheRandomApple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Let's go to the grocery store. I just need to grab a few things!"
DamienMontanaDias ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We gave the dog to a farm where it has plenty of room to run and play."
Enter_Corgi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Daddy will see you on your birthday"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's going to be ok.
therealsix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No, you can't have that, it's for the dog." What we used to say when our daughter was 2 or 3, worked like a charm. "No, you can't have that chocolate drizzled treat, it's dog food, sorry."
CanalMoor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'Sure, you can have a snake'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa is real
anon2413 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's the hardest job.
OpusMioda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The American Dream.
Meeratne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'It's okay'
kag0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything is OK.
gabsaur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If the wind blows the wrong way, your face will stay like that..."
RaynePetrichor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you kiss a boy/girl your lips will fray at the edges"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"In a minute!"
To be fair, also applies to Dad.
LegendofPisoMojado ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"When you grow up, you can do anything you want." No you can't.
kayneargand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Tattoos are for people in gangs."
"OH MY POOR BABY"
GoredonTheDestroyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guess you're in the 21st Century Gang now.
Davaek1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
vladtheimpaler82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My kid is an angel.
Ladybuttstabber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"The crust is the most nutritious part of the bread, so you'd better eat it."
Didn't realize that was BS until I baked my first loaf of bread in college. All that crust guilt for nothing!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stop it or you will go blind.
yeahitsyarn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you play with your belly button itll unravel and your guts will fall out
interd0g ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You'll go blind if you do that"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't make your face like that, you'll get it stuck."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Flipping the light switch more than once will break the light.
stupidhippie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That McDonald's is closed for renovations.
GoredonTheDestroyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then why is there a fuckton of people in there? They don't look like renovation workers.
darxtorm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is going to be ok"
thomkat666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It wasn't your fault your father and I got divorced."
LiquidSwordsman1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you no matter what"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We are just going to get a few groceries then you can look at toys"
hexelation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything's going to be ok
WheresMyMoneyDenny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you all equally.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now that I am thinking about it, I don't believe my mother ever lied to me about common things.
Jorgethehippie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa isnt real
fokjoudoos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't know why you don't look like your father.."
demetrios3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't keep playing with it or it will fall off
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, the right girl will come along when you least expect it. Decades later.. I'm still waiting.
upvote_king51 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're just big boned"
richard_vaynes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandpa used to tell me that ice-cream trucks only play their music when they've run out of ice-cream. My stupid friends would all run to the truck when it came down the street. Idiots.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You were a planned pregnancy
im_unplugg3d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: Help! I'm going to fall! Me: rushing to kitchen Mom: standing on ladder, absolutely fine Can you pass me that cloth on the counter? Me: Mom! You nearly gave me a heart attack! Mom: Well, I had to say something to get you here.
wuthrow7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No you're not adopted."
ADailydose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually a truth: "if you keep making that face, it's going to get stuck like that."
I used to furrow my brows a lot, and now I have crease/wrinkle lines there that are pretty much permanent.
FalkoneyeCH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is gonna be okay"
SlapKong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't drink coffee, you won't grow"
IanGecko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can do anything!"
gigolouncle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"One day you'll find a woman who will love you for who you are."
adamorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything's going to be alright
SupportBadUsernames ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I would never hold something like that over your head!"
dmbtke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stop or you'll go blind
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents told me and my little brother when were like 2-3 years old that the Ice Cream Man was a bad person and we would go outside and tell him to go away and that he was bad... poor guy must've cried himself to sleep every night.
romadiansky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you all, equally."
patient_zero84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you touch it, it will fall off.
Mitchuation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
Tooth fairy
Jesus
This is your real daddy
Take your pick
skizmo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your'e special"
Urabutbl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
pm_me_ur_wrasse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You'll be fine."
antispog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
if you keep making that face, it will stay like that.
Beartastrophy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I know what's best for my child."
iAmNadroj13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you too!"
enok_koeputki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"When you grow up you won't need to go to the army. There will be world peace"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't worry, it's going to be all right."
TheBrownWelsh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you keep making that face, it'll get stuck that way."
innovative_response ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is going to be ok."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We will get that on the way back.
SuchSmartMonkeys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Take that look off your face or it will get stuck that way" I seriously should have kept making that face.... http://www.mrlovenstein.com/comic/793
jizzymcjizzle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We can do that later" Then "later" never comes!
badson100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're not too old to breastfeed.
NothingpersonallyMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"There Is food at home"
eamflashtoad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"dinner is ready"
creamersrealm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your such a special snowflake"
Sparkybear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They would've had to be the primary in that case. I remember having an elementary school savings with the bank but my parents were the primary holders. Still doesn't answer the question of what happened though, sorry you dealt with that.
MegaLoFart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're God's greatest gift to me.
Easy__C ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa is real
reverendsteveii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I would never hurt you" stands out pretty sharply against the background.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you watch too much TV you will be sucked in
I often contemplated whether being sucked in was better than this world
meese20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Little late here but I was told Van Gogh lost his ear from squirming in the barber's chair. It worked and I sat like a statue.
Wasn't till middle school art class when I found out how he actually lost it.
tiertier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll think about it
creekside22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That if I kept doing that I would go blind. So I just kept doing it until I needed glasses.
roryw27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you all equally"
shaynami ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A bunch of childless adults ITT
gabeb71 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I have no favorites. You all are my favorite!"
greentrafficcone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll tell you when you're older"
wrenched85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're special.
i_am_theonewhoknocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can do it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Uncle Tim wouldn't do that, darling. You were just having a nasty nightmare."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
how is that a lie?
EDIT: fuck
Keoleon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If I had a favorite it would definitely be you!" โฆ uh huh, so my brother got 3 cars because...?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll always be there for you, no matter what."
I miss you, Mom. Sorry to get heavy with this, gotta occasionally let it out.
TheTiniestPirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right there with you, pal. Lost mine five years ago, and it still hits me at least once a week.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This December it'll be two years on my end. I try not to think too much about it. Doesn't leave the back of my mind though.
JohnLocke815 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Scrolled down quite a bit and didnt see santa clause anywhere. Thats gotta be the actual most common lie
kodak2012 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can't go swimming until 30 minutes after you eat.
aka let me rest half an hour kid.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"we have some at home" NO WE FUCKING DIDNT MOTHER WE NEVER HAD POP TARTS AT HOME.
Brusselsprout2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Of course I love you both equally much"
shadowblasta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You and your brother's birth was the happiest day of my life (15 years later, im sharing my birthday with my newborn sister because every party is her party, not mine)
CeyowenCt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom would always say "CeyowenCt, will you help me bring in the groceries?" which meant "go bring in the groceries while I do other stuff". I used to get so annoyed... I would have been 100% okay if she had just said" go bring in the groceries. "
Mike_Cee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Vegetables turn into cupcakes in your tummy" Leslie freakin Knope
FPSGamer48 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The world is a happy place...
coolkid123123123123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well.. my mum used to tell me that icecream men piss in the icecream to stop me from asking her for money. She would say "theres no toilet in the icecream van, where else would they go?!"
Jokesonyounow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are beautiful."
a50atheart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For my wife with our toddler its "Oh no! There's monsters in there!" to get him out of whatever she doesn't want him in. If he has his batman cape on he just goes and fights them tho.
TheTiniestPirate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:55:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's going to cause her more problems later on.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God loves you.
thats-not-funny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you both equally
HalfManHalfCyborg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"One day."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe later.
VictoryGin1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That they really hate wire hangers.
jellybeanomelet98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"...or at least by my mother
Collinnn7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No you're not adopted"
SocraticSwagger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
You're very handsome, SocraticSwagger.
I have a mustache. I know she's lying.
Edit: Looks like I was too late to the party with this one.
11thhokage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your dad will be back honey"
PortlandPerson94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've got eyes on the back of my head.
edub6170 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.
JustPlainnDave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're my favorite."
DarlingBri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you both equally."
Constantskeptik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know who your father is...
make_breakfast_now ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're special.
smaffit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love all my children equally"
Total bullshit
onabusinesstripper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"if you don't put your seatbelt on, you'll die in a car crash." i was under the assumption that if you didn't put your seat belt on before the car started moving, the second it was in motion some truck would come careening out of nowhere and kill us all. would have an honest to god screaming fit if she even started pulling out of the driveway before i securely fastened my seat belt.
GoredonTheDestroyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I say something along those lines whenever the guy ahead of my takes a really... really... really long fucking time turning. I mean, it's not like this is Final Destination, where the tiniest slip-up Rube Goldbergs into this massive catastrophe.
KixStar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I know everything."
Unless my mom knew all of the debaucherous shit I was doing as a teenager and never told me, I don't think she did. But I definitely use this line on my 6-year-old. I DO know everything he does because he hasn't learned the art of lying to one's parents yet.
vectoxlive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you no matter what."
alxssmith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once asked for a doll for Christmas and my mom told me it would chew my hair and eat me
Westie540 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa.
Osceola24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom would say "I'm not your mom! We picked you up on the side of the road in Black Town!"
Usernameandwhatnot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
1....2....2 1/2.....2 3/4....I'm warning you. Don't let me get to 3.
shylocxs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be whatever you want to be.
skivvyjibbers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
BlakMakk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You get that from your father"
Osubeaverlover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Girls are the devil!"
BadB0ii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I have eyes in the back of my head."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus is real.
Or alternatively for Jews: if you break the news on Santa you'll go to Christian hell because that's the root of anti-Semitism.
minerman237 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"When a mommy and a daddy love each other..."
YoYoToad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"When the music on the ice cream truck is playing it means they are out" fucking liar
mkhopper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This one...
http://assets.amuniversal.com/6e933600220901347d57005056a9545d?f.jpg
Pink_Flash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am 5'8'' and 150 llbs. Mentioned I'd like to start working out to slim down my belly, (that's where my weight is the most noticeable) I didn't feel I was overweight, just wanted to slim down an area that could be better.
"Oh you're all skin and bones! Don't even think about eating less!"
Mother is about 100 llbs...
TyrionLannister2012 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're a handsome boy.
Thesydneyblackbird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is your last warning
first_time_internet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your handsome/beautiful.
S1KRR-Pilot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Go see "Daddy"
Indyhouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want to be.
Donga87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"it's your baby"
VeeAyeKaye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're ok!
SinisterXTC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
Cantabilev ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We're leaving soon."
Soon is actually another hour longer. To this day I still hate Ross.
polyglot18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's spicy"
Rdavis1986 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love all my kids equally
Cynthighuhh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't do that or else the sales girl/guy will get mad at you!"
lewisisbrown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you son"
beersbeforebreakfast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dont worry. The priest is doing this for your own good."
๐๏ธ cant_even_such_wow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:08:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
run
DrThrowawayToYou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure they have hamburgers at this restaurant.
๐๏ธ cant_even_such_wow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
when pulling into a fucking olive garden, love olive garden but they sure as hell don't serve burgers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
๐๏ธ cant_even_such_wow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my STEPMOM said this to me- this is bullshit!
GoredonTheDestroyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, milk + sick isn't the best.I know from experience.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:53 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This is all your fault."
Nope, YOU did this.
๐๏ธ cant_even_such_wow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:07:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I am getting comments from Marshall Mathers when I read comments like this on this question. Like, I swear a minute ago I read a comment about how someone's mom was abusive. This went dark - fast.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:24 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think mine is a positive comment. I've realized that her saying things were "my fault" was a lie. It wasn't my fault, it was hers.
Progress!! ๐
But yeah, I do see what you're saying.
RecoveringKlepto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
itsamamaluigi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Why aren't you eating? You always love this! It tastes like candy."
BAXterBEDford ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's OK. Everything will be alright."
With an alcoholic father who sunk into deep depression and financial ruin, it was not OK. And what made her the real liar was that she was the abusive one, being a rage-aholic that took it out on the defenseless kids.
starcresc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you. Oh wait...
AnGuS--HW0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dinners ready
legaladult ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
:(
green_and_yellow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus is real
huntingwhale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"PMS means penny money saver"
gimmemyfuckingcoffee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I had my kid convinced that I had eyes in the back of my head.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
not defending yourself against a bully makes you a better person
artichokemeat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"When I was X years old we didn't have things like Y and I turned out fine"
legaladult ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also, "It'll only take five minutes" when pertaining to a chore. It will take WELL over five minutes and you KNOW IT, MOM.
fatguyswag1054 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When the drop the pacifier then pop in it in their mouth saying it's clean. Um no.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you keep playing with it, it'll fall off
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
-Whats for dinner mom?
-Something good!
Fuck ...
cptatsu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dinner is ready!"
bowhunter6274 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The ice cream truck only plays music when it's out of ice cream.
analpuncher69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"you're my favorite child"
Vyper28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
HorseMasked ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're adopted"
Haha, nice try Mum!
carlaskitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want to be.
BasedGrapefruit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never did drugs as a kid.
h3llnokitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Maybe tomorrow lie. Kid: Can we go to the park? Mom: Maybe tomorrow.
timesuck897 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you shave regularly, it'll grow in thicker and faster. She just didn't want to look at your ratty pubestache.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is 'I love you' too dark?
Snailicious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa, Tooth fairy, Easter bunny, etc....
Midnight_Muse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything's going to be all right.
Rayzent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You ask a question about something you want. Mother:Okay. And you never get it in the end.
Snorkels721 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have read and agree to the terms and conditions
Squeakss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:27:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom said that?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be what ever you want to be XD
TwoInchTyrant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dinner will be ready in 5 minutes"
NanashiSaito ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To dad: "Not tonight, I have a headache..."
NotKimJongOink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
Endelphia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're at her friend's house. "We're going to leave in 2 minutes!" She says, while gossiping with her friend. You die several hours later. "We're about to leave, honey!" she repeats, not even looking in your direction.
phil8248 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have a favorite. I love you all the same. What BS. Everyone knew Bill was your favorite Mom. His was the only picture in your entire bedroom.
Ash_Britt_Chloe_Spik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're such a wonderful person. You could do anything you want, despite the fact we offer you no support, you have no talent at anything, and you're a lazy f#$k. Maybe you could be president. All while driving past a burned out building and saying "Hey, look, all the Chuck-E-Cheeses burned down...
PurityDVoyd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure it's Santa Claus
Ilikeovi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
''Don't make me come over there!'' You just say that to threaten us. You won't actually get up you lazy bitch!
Tootsie-Rollin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's broken, sorry sweetie.
direwooolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"you cant have any, it has alcohol in it"
rosieuspootis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That they love you.
Only_A_Username ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That they're only going to one store when they ask you if you want to go with them. 5 stops later...
Hexyl68 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That thing will never heal if you keep picking at it.
zamps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are special.
Liamthestokie74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
Phantasm1975 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
caliicrook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're special"
...
Aww I made myself sad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
GoredonTheDestroyer ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:43:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At 5:01 PM? I doubt that.
RYANINLA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're going to spoil your dinner!"
TungstenRose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you both equally"
veenceskywalker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In a supermarket: "Don't worry, I'll be quick."
Domsaleo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The pay gap.
DeFex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you can be anything you want!
jjstrange13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're special."
ConnorGerrard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You look beautiful hunny, and don't let anyone else tell you different
Duncan_Teg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything's going to be okay"
Shaco9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you keep playing with it, it'll fall off.
PremiumSocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You matter"
leckertuetensuppe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:54 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll thank me later. Noone ever says thanks later :(
Coldsteel_BOP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No swimming after you eat or you'll drown.
kurkos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your palms will get hairy if you masterbate
Don_Graper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want to be when you grow up.
Sho_nuff_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I will stop drinking and taking drugs
Aegislasher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you all equally
oxthebigonexo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not Santa lol
Bertie_jj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'If you watch TV for much longer your eyes will go square!'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was very young My mom told me to never eat at KFC, because when the big bucket on the sign is spinning it sucks in birds and that's how they get their meat. I've never eaten there, probably the best lie she could have told me.
BH_Andrew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I do all the work here, I work ten times harder than you do!"
Really mum? Cause I see you on Facebook all the time when you're supposed to be "working" and you get me to do all the fucking housework. -.-
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 4 some asshole kid slammed the bus window down onto my hand, breaking my right ring finger. My mom told me that when the nail falls off I should leave it out on the counter so the "Nail Fairy" would come and give me a Toonie for it. The "Nail Fairy" is the Tooth Fairy's cousin.
robbielarte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"put on a sweater, your gonna catch a cold"
astalavista114 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is just confusing a cold and a chill, and chills are probably worse.
xkurkrieg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you lose the love of your mother than you are truly lost.
Maxpowr9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you more than daddy does.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your never going to die. Your going to live forever. Your special. Unique.
Xailiax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
hawk8177 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Soon
GiveMeBackMySon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want to be when you grow up.
hawk8177 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe one day
Wickywire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"What a beautiful drawing, that goes on the fridge."
hawgietonight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Drink your orange juice or it will loose it's vitamins
Squeakss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You keep making that face, it'll freeze like that
what2put ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can't go outside to play until your room is clean."
I remember looking outside and telling her the sun still came out so i can go outside to play.
BrokenAscendent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mommy loves you.
MikeeFlores ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll hold your birthday money.
mishaface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you jump in the pool after eating you'll get a cramp and drown."
HiImAlice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All the holiday-creatures, "your face will get stuck like that"-type comments, religion stuff.
Imgonnakickyourass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you anyway."
coldpocket187 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You weren't an accident
kjm16216 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is your dad!
coldpocket187 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was on the phone with santa
chapinc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're one in a million
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It will all be okay
AMAZING_PARTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try it you'll like it
dzta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa is watching.
Whiskeylung ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you don't smarten up I'm calling your dad at work and he's going to come home and punish you" called her bluff so many times.
HolyPallyGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It will all be ok. I say this to my kids all the time. Most memorably when my daughter shattered her wrist and elbow
DonnaHadItComin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your dad will be home soon" 8'(
SquircleStudios ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
lawyerlady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In a minute/we can do that later
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's broken hunny why don't we just color instead"
gypz3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That the ice-cream truck plays the music when it's out of ice-cream...
r1chard3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wilber went to go live on a farm.
With other pigs.
tehgrouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll see."
ImDirtyDan_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Daddy's just out buying poptarts"
lilylilylilybilly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"That's nice."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't sit in front of the TV you'll get square eyes!
Scripter17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that even possible?
YoloSwegg05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm only going to the store to buy one thing, we'll be in and out in less than 5 minutes....
kthomaszed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you both the same.
Fibirieous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're losing some weight!"
ED_CHINA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That you shouldn't touch bird eggs if you ever were to come across a nest.
All those eggs I could've patted.
monmisfit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Wait Till Your Father gets Home"
TheMadKing1028 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa. Tooth fairy. Saying they're special. No your daddy never touched you there.
IparryU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Daddy will be back...
youngbillmurray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
IamVenom187 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll never stop you seeing your daddy
bettyspaghetto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm the adult here!" Barely.
Inverno969 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're not fat.
Slenderpone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
malackey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you all the same. None of you is my favorite."
goddammitMicah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL: My gf is a mother
rdmacph ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
mtear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you". Gets me right in the feelz.
just_had_2_comment ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
maybe later.
JAH416 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not sleeping...I'm just resting my eyes"
GoredonTheDestroyer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:15:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad does that all the time. Every time, I call him out on his bullshit. Still falls asleep wherever he lies down.
Cookiesandcreme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nothings wrong
pmatisse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish you weren't born.
Major_Fudgemuffin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm only going to touch the loose tooth. I won't pull it."
Koean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We'll see
revpidgeon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you fall and break your leg. Don't come running to me.
KingdomOfFawg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I know what happened, I just want to hear your side of the story." They have no clue. Admiral Ackbar would make appropriate notifications.
PoeticMilk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I promise I won't eat your Halloween/Easter candy.
I tell my daughter this every year. Every year I eat the Skittles.
Scripter17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:32:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am reporting you to the international evil mothers watchlist.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you keep making that face, it's going to stick like that.
DSM20T ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.mrlovenstein.com/comic/793
Thatgl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Go and wash the 2 dishes in the sink" goes to sink, sees thousands of knives and forks, about 10 plates, and 7 glasses
MyLeftHand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Their kid didn't do it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything will be okay, just wait until __________"
Let's see, I've been waiting since preschool, you said gradeschool would be better, NOPE!
So I go to intermediate school, and you promised THAT would be better...nope, worse!
So I go to Middle school, you should be happy I did not kill myself.
Yeah, High school was....not better, but more tolerable. Because I was numb to other people's bullshit by then.
Then came my 20's when I finally could escape - I became a hermit for seven years, most peaceful, drama-free seven years of my life, and most productive.
Then I got social again - what the FUCK was I thinking?
cheerios_r_gud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unconditional love. It's a lie. Show me a parent who's love is truly unconditional.
cloud_shifter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think it exist for a lot of mothers, until the second child.
Scripter17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:30:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No comment.
Sidissid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"yes" They will agree to everything you ask and or request but will end up not happening. They would just say yes to shut you up.
cjlutera ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Put on a coat or you will catch a cold.
platinumsombro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're beautiful"
tennessee_jed615 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
skydeltorian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: 'Hurry up! We need to go! We're going to be late!'
Waiting in car
Me: 'What took you so long?' Mom: 'I was putting on makeup.'
Ffs mom
therosesaredead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When the ice cream truck is playing music....it means they don't have any left
Blackest_black ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you keep crossing your eyes they'll stay like that forever
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not drunk." Atleast for me, my mom is a functioning alcoholic.
Blackest_black ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That her food is too spicy
pollyanarchy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, you can't play on my phone, the battery is dead
MunkyNutts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tomorrow.
WTF, tomorrow never came.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want to be". No. You can't. If you can't sing, you can't be a singer. If you're terrible at sports, you won't be a superstar athlete.
Nostalk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And even if you are, it has more to do with random blind luck, knowing the right person, having money, etc.
Scripter17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I heard somewhere that sinning is something that an be learned.
"Don't quote me on that." -/u/Scripter17
GlobalRiot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can grow up to be anything you want!
andrewryanscott ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're special."
SuckItCaldwell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"When you grow up you can be anything that you eant to be."
HailHelix123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We will pass by the store on the way back,I promise"
guitarfingers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus is real
BigDonkJensen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was younger I got invited to a friends birthday party, and I really wanted to go. But my mom said no, and never told me the reason. I started crying, so to shut me up she promised me that for my next birthday I could have a party and invite my friends. Holy shit I was excited for that!! I was never allowed to have friends over. When my birthday came I mentioned her promise, and she said "No, I never promised something like that!"
Uhhh, yeah bitch, you actually did...
I'll never forget that.
kashiruvana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Literally, like, half the stuff that comes out of my mouth. Usually regarding whether we have a food, whether we can watch a show, or whether I'm watching someone do something. Okay, not even close to literally half, but I go out of my way to be honest with my kids as much as possible, and then sometimes my husband and I just lie through our teeth because we don't feel like doing or arguing about whatever it is.
CrazyKirby97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santy Clause.
ShapesAndStuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It'll be okay.
_AnonOp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'The food isn't off! It tastes fine!'
LilNilmo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe"
bigfatrhys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: "It's almost 10:00 AM!"
Me: * looks at clock *
Clock: 9:36
locke-in-a-box ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This is the last time I'm telling you!"
ghryzzleebear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"They don't make batteries for that toy anymore."
Usually said in reference to some obnoxiously loud toy I loved.
Aussie_Bogan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
CaptainNate77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
telling their children they are special
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I wasn't as bad as you were when I was a kid"
-hey grandpa tell me about my mom when she was a my age
-one time I made her mad and she punched me in the face.
ZXLXXXI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It tastes just the same
Pmsking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything will be ok.
marymc21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just going up the town for one message."
Libgeek120 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There aren't any cookies left.
dontaxmebro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Size doesn't matter.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes, /u/Patapatamon, I was looking when I saw you do that super cool trick!"
dubh_righ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favorite child"
Yes you do, and everyone, including the children, know it.
adamski316 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favourite child"
mdragon13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"yes, I'm listening."
fuck you, mom.
GlockzInABox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
RiverWyvern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll be back soon" and "It'll only take a moment" ...I was left in the car a lot.
ravioli_bruh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:20 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus
KurdisTame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
Prograzcutterr123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
" I love you "
loserhi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: "Your room is filthy. Go clean it up, you have 20 minutes and it better be sparkling" cleans room to perfection Me: "it's done, go look" Mom: "I will in a second" never looks
Bloomy999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Clause.
afro_on_fire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I care for you
jesskess6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:38 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not controlling"
therealjonnyboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Let's have sex tomorrow, okay?" (Said to me, the father)
303schrutefarms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're beautiful
DemonDealer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything will be OK"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
Thek4man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"you're a handsome boy"
ParnoldPrunce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
acomicaljoker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That you're pretty and precious.
cheezemeister_x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you keep making that face it'll stay like that.
Yodaismyhomie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
Ilikepizzzza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're so pretty.
chesmydog2016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you more than your shit for brains brother. Please don't tell him, though, he might need therapy." Conveyed to each child separately as a mom/son bonding thingie.
Wolf_Deathshield ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:05 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
Peace-Bread-Land ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, fuck moms!
edelweiss234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus is real
leafs81215 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Stop pulling on it or it won't grow!"
goldendecorations ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Those aren't vegetables.
ButtCrackThunder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you no matter what
KChayes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
ax255 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It tastes good.
KidJuly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Santa Claus isn't real" as if!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So I break a lot of bowls while doing dishes because I'm a clumsy person. So my mom once realized that we didn't have enough bowls for everyone in the family to have at least one bowl of cereal each morning so she charged me 5 dollars a bowl for about 5 or 6 bowls. She took the money out of the paycheck I get for helping her with her job. My mom took me to the dollar store and what do I see lying on those cheap counters for only 1 dollar a pop... those bowls, I was angry at her for charging me so much when she spent so little.
naseeff_mufc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't make that face, you'll get stuck with it"
spacesticks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you swallow your gum it will stay in your stomach for 7 years"
covertkek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Brb"
dezodiackiller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm almost there
insomniabob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you".
prettyflamazing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus is real.
Barnabas_Collins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up pretty poor so we never had cool stuff, so when neighbors did cool stuff or bought cool stuff, my mom would always say "Better times will come for us". I've been hearing that for 26 years, better times will never come mom :(
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
TheForgottenLion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:56 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
These comments are much more positive than what I expected they'd be. What a happy surprise.
fat2slow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me and daddy were just wrestling and I won.
Kairla88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:40 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
chaoticnuetral ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favorite"
RWBYSanctum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Waiting for mum to pick me up from school
Mum: Almost there, 5 minutes.
15 mins later
Me: Where are you?
Mum: Almost there already, why'd you keep texting me?
Keep in mind, that 'Where are you' text is literally the 2nd text I sent the whole time
lazysheepdog716 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll tell you when you're older" Not like anyone's keeping a list.
helmetrazor12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're so pretty!" D:
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa Claus and God
Azel_dagger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
insert bad thing* happened today because you didn't say ayat ul kursi. ~ Pakistanis moms -.-
mageftw222 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
santa
kandiemandie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'I still love you, though' - right after telling me me being born ruined her life
Gdou13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The dog ran away
crazysteve101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That the puppy is going to the farm to run freely with the farm animals.
_tilldo_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It will all be okay
time-twister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To the husband: "I'm tired, maybe tomorrow night"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this is delicious
lousymom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I didn't touch it."
I'm an adult. My mother visits. And for some reason, she ends up touching everything in my house and it all ends up somewhere I can't ever find it again. She takes something out of a drawer in the kitchen and puts it in the hall closet. It's maddening. I will ask nicely if she has seen whatever I am looking for and she always defensively answers that she didn't touch it. She said this to me on her last visit while holding the item in her hand.
fridgidfallus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your taste buds change every 3 weeks. You might like it."
Con_sept ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"As a mother, I know what I'm talking about" or similar.
Mothafuckacuoms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe" shit always meant no
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"SEBRAWR"
"Yes mother?"
" CAN YOU DO THAT THING PLEASE?"
"UHHHH WHAT THING?"
"YOU KNOW THAT THING?"
"NO, I don't know what thing?..."
"GOD YOU ARE SO LAZY"
Thanks mom.
bazi2001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Be good otherwise Santa will not come." This is two lies in one. We got presents whether or not we were good and Santa isn't real. Sorry if I ruined it for anyone
Azmodeon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll tell you when you're older
-RiskManagement- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is going to be okay"
linux1970 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"if you make faces, your face will stay like that forever".
"Wear a sweater or you will catch a cold"
cpcity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's all going to be ok.
MystikDruidess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
excluding christianity? How about "When a mommy and daddy love each other they have a baby" ?
fjordfjord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're beautiful"
Mislyrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That a god exists
aztecturkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In a minute...
eillenosam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I would never lie to you"
draivaden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"moms' always right"
Hemingways_Hills ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They told me Marijuana was "Mexican Oregano" for making our Chorizo (they never used it in our food). They said the one hitter was a device to help people stop smoking cigarettes. I had very young and hippy parents. My older cousin blew their cover when I was 8.
variaris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Santa's watching"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You don't want what I'm eating, it's spicy."
Or what worked for me because while my brothers didn't like spicy foods, I did: "You don't want what I'm eating, it'll make you poop."
Was a great way to get us to back off when she was eating a snack and didn't want to share 90% of it with us
Juju_bubs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
St_Anthony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're so special."
lnse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a flower pot.
trojanfl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A good lie for the child as she absorbs the pain, everything will be ok. OK mom
Gadetron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:36 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you play with yourself, it'll fall off
appleadat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I sacrificed my career to raise you." shut up stop making excuses for your failure to support yourself.
offSpL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you pee standing up like that, your penis will fall off!" I was 5 years old
fartparticles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is going to be okay."
Dunlaing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
wabadego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's ok...
blissando ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That she loves me.
InOneDeep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you don't put you hand back in the window while I'm driving, a crazy man is gonna hit it off with a pipe."
da_shack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"When you turn 18 you can do what you want." Turns 18 "Not while your'e living in my house" Heavy Sigh
bagelwoman666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I won't get mad, trust me." Fell for this one so many timesxD
Captainrosebeard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be whatever you want to be.
Ralone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Leaving in 5 minutes"
Delsana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably that they're a good mother.
higgsbosonU2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it's good for you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to tell me that dragon flies aka sewing needles, would sew my lips shut.
GoredonTheDestroyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like
DeadpoolWeapon XI?[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's going to be OK.
goddamit_adam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I will love my child no matter what!"
Ace477 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll tell you when you're older."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mother takes your phone "You've been on it too long!" When I've been on it for five minutes. Then she proceeds to go in her room and stare at her phone reading viral Facebook posts for another five hours.
kilour ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't sit so close to the TV you'll hurt your eyes.
endou15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're so handsome" Sure mom that's all good and all but um...I'm lonely
Khoopa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you're older, you'll have all the time in the world to look at your phone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I won't die"
Browneyedgirl_08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Remembering these for when I'm a mother
Millenial_Trash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll be out of the store in ten minutes."
redflannel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It tastes good! Try it! You'll like it!"
ToxicValryn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Mom: "Wanna go out and walk around?"
Me: "Where are we going?"
Mom: "Just walking around stores, not really gonna buy anything."
Everybody knows Mom's have those stores that she just takes forever in every single time.
My Mom's was Kohl's...She used to walk through every single walkable space in that store, and sometimes repeat departments she has already been in.
...We end up leaving with a shirt.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It doesn't hurt."
I think we all have been to this situations when we accidentally hurt our mothers or something happened to her. You could see on her she is not suffering from the outside, she kept looking strong and it never mattered what was happening, but the inside. I'm sure she was hurt, but she never let her children to be dragged down by her feelings.
iammercury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're special and you can do anything in life you want."
Jangles710 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i love you. lol
summercampsadness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The better question is what is the truth?
Gustavophdez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you were not a mistake
Lewis_Rook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You get that from your father's side of the family."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: Mom, I'm sick. Mom: Maybe if you stop spending so much time on the computer you won't be sick Me: ._.
Tower-Union ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
"I'm proud of you"
"You can do anything you set your mind to"
"I've never regretted having you"
The usual stuff.
carlyquinn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That she never cheated on my father. Even though my mother and fathers blood types are O+ and I'm B+
YupYouMadAndDownvote ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you get in trouble as a kid, you wont be able to get into college"
^ paraphrase
my mom freaked out the first time I got a referral in school lol...colleges dont give a shit...they look at your grades and that is about it.
dude I know a former STATE PRISON inmate who is in a good college.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
justin_MC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That babies come from the belly
no_co_d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This is your uncle" Needless to say haven't seen them at Family Reunions
MarylandMama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry, I can't make it today. My kid woke up sick. I'm so bummed! Next time!" Moms are allowed to use this excuse once, maybe twice. Some moms use it all the time and just generally flake out on everything. No way your kid is that sick all of the time. Source: I am a stay-at-home mom who has several fellow stay-at-home mom friends.
echalevampiro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
lil_yumyum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
Mike86p ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's a Santa Claus
leynatural ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your father was my first man.
grinchjizz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"He is your real dad"
AboveAverageChickens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are beautiful
Cytosmarts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa, Easter bunny and the tooth fairy.
PolarbearX21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The baby is yours
dangil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do this because it's good for you
GenocidalNinja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:53 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where's the kid who's going to say the Bible? I know he's here!
fshowcars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your face still stay stuck like that..."
MRAII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We don't have the money to buy that right now" when they ask for something I don't like-they don't argue with that reply
kristinjustus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To kids or to other moms?
Probably how long they nursed.
Omny87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:40 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll head home in a second; I just need to talk to my friends here. It won't take long."
InTheRedditVoid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not mad, just disappointed.
Jcopoeira ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom- "if you don't eat your pizza crust you will go bald. Just look at your grandfather, he is bald, that's because he never ate his crust."
WTF mom
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sex
Masterss94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"you're my favorite child"
gesy17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:07 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We're almost there"
benny_bigD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
sidj14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its gonna be okay
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did the best I could.
HoseNeighbor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It'll be ok."
futbolfan10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you make that face it'll stay like that forever.
BassHeadGator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your both my favorite."
RoninRaffiki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything is going to be okay.
SyncAres ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We'll go back for it later
anothercrazygurl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't go outside or else the bad guys will turn you into sardines."
Lardey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:53 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"That clear liquid is water. You can't have any because it's vitamin water." Me mother would say that one a lot to me when I was wee
phantompath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:40 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're beautiful just the way you are"
SecureHandle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That snorting will cause boogers to go in your brain.
Momnature ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never got drunk
mimi7878 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll be there in a minute.....
InsideOutVoices ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Luke... [scuba inhale]... I am your mother.
The_Essex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I just want to talk."
Bikesandkittens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
MooPig48 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're my favorite
amcnewman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:25 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't poke the fire with a stick or you'll wet your bed.
LeProYasuo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's okay, baby, daddy's coming home soon"
IronFire_4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's going to be ok
itzHokez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Little Johnny is an absolute angel. Proceeds to shit on the walls... Fuck you Johnny .
NanooNanooGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We're out of chocolate.
It's already bedtime!
Rhamblings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're going to regret that hair colour when you're older"
Back when I was in my teens my mum didn't like that I dyed my hair "weird" colour. Jokes on her, since I'm now in my 20s and pastel purple is my go to hair colour.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll love you no matter what."
Grandma_Is_Satan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa
ShabbatShalomSamurai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"My child is very gifted." It's a double lie too since they're also lying to themselves.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa.
BlackHawk8100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're OK" xD
Akatnoodle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How babies are made.
GabrielBelmont86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I only have your best interest in mind.
ThePotatoGod19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you very much.
Angelic_Doom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes I will buy it for you" and then the time comes and she doesn't remember the conversation.
jediguy11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're special
hotorcoldone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you swallow that gum it will take 7 years to digest it.
therosesaredead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Favorite childhood memory: "Mom...those kids are calling me bad names"
mom - "Just tell them sticks and stones can break your bones, but words can never hurt me!"
Tried that.
They came after me with sticks. Some threw the rocks that landscaped the neighbors lawn.
After that, I stopped believing that my freckles were angel kisses.
Still love you, mom.
Karmasmatik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa.
AShadowDevil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mum: Wait here i will only be 2 minutes. Still waiting 15 minutes later...
Matador0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
โLies Iโve Told My 3 Year Old Recentlyโ Raul Gutierrez
Trees talk to each other at night. All fish are named either Lorna or Jack. Before your eyeballs fall out from watching too much TV, they get very loose. Tiny bears live in drain pipes. If you are very very quiet you can hear the clouds rub against the sky. The moon and the sun had a fight a long time ago. Everyone knows at least one secret language. When nobody is looking, I can fly. We are all held together by invisible threads. Books get lonely too. Sadness can be eaten. I will always be there.
Iamnotdaredevil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're dad will be right back. He just went to get cigarettes.
eldengue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dad's coming back.
eldengue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Being poor and being told I was getting McDonald's...
Storytellerbobfan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One post funny, next a tragic incident , next a standard reddit joke, next another depressing story. Im on an emotional roller coaster
Angelycan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
gabeasorus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't drink milk if you're sick. It'll curdle in your stomach and make you throw up.
xinanorway ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:48:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It WILL curdle in your stomach, as stomach acid always produces that effect, nothing special to being sick. But Mom has to clean up the vomit, and doesn't want to be dealing with sour, curdled milk vomit. You feed sick kids based on what YOU can handle cleaning up. Flashback to the night my two year old got flu sick after Dad had JUST fed her picked herring...
xinanorway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It WILL curdle in your stomach, as stomach acid always produces that effect, nothing special to being sick. But Mom has to clean up the vomit, and doesn't want to be dealing with sour, curdled milk vomit. You feed sick kids based on what YOU can handle cleaning up. Flashback to the night my two year old got flu sick after Dad had JUST fed her picked herring...
xinanorway ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:47:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It WILL curdle in your stomach, as stomach acid always produces that effect, nothing special to being sick. But Mom has to clean up the vomit, and doesn't want to be dealing with sour, curdled milk vomit. You feed sick kids based on what YOU can handle cleaning up. Flashback to the night my two year old got flu sick after Dad had JUST fed her picked herring...
xinanorway ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:48:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It WILL curdle in your stomach, as stomach acid always produces that effect, nothing special to being sick. But Mom has to clean up the vomit, and doesn't want to be dealing with sour, curdled milk vomit. You feed sick kids based on what YOU can handle cleaning up. Flashback to the night my two year old got flu sick after Dad had JUST fed her picked herring...
xinanorway ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It WILL curdle in your stomach, as stomach acid always produces that effect, nothing special to being sick. But Mom has to clean up the vomit, and doesn't want to be dealing with sour, curdled milk vomit. You feed sick kids based on what YOU can handle cleaning up. Flashback to the night my two year old got flu sick after Dad had JUST fed her picked herring...
supercat666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If your mine "I love you"
jjjhague ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going out for cigarettes, be right back...
Azzizzi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Go ahead and try it. You're going to love it. I promise. Just one bite."
razlplaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm okay"
elephantovercoat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are special
TrixyMalicious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you lie your tongue will turn black.
If you make faces like that they'll end up permanent.
The growing the watermelon in your belly after eating seeds thing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you have headache from life? it's that computer.
EDIT: spelling
trukvlteroth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes dear, Mommy and Daddy love each other very much."
Paradise5551 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't shut the fuck up, you will find a way to shut up.
Hiciao ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you don't have kids of your own, you'll regret it." My memories of childhood are not the happiest, but whenever I quote her on all of the parent-related things that turned her into a super anxious lady, she denies it.
MarlaSinger36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favorite child!"
Aearly1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love all my children equally"
TheFidget_99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your face is gonna freeze like that
pawn_shop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have a favorite"
Cupshakes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"there are no favorites"
Stringskip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Great job honey"
Darkm1tch69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're special"
Colonel_Craiggers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is a god.
m33x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can do anything you set your mind to." Lies.
Almostana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not something she said, but did. When shopping if ask for something, either a toy or a candy. She would put it in the cart and by the time we got to check out or even back home is have already forgotten about it. She would have the cashier hide the item and not scan it so I wouldn't actually have it.
Alienfrmars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
โNo, I donโt think youโre getting a shot at the doctorโs today.โ Actually, getting four shots.
never_enough_books ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm listening."
theunfinishedsentenc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa...
Need I say any more?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I refused to lie to my daughter about Santa. I think lying to kids is stupid and disrespectful.
theunfinishedsentenc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was heartbroken when I was told the truth
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do not blame you. Lies are not fun. And when a person is young, it shatters the illusion that your parents do not lie. It never matters what the lie is about, honesty is more important. I never understood the need for parents to lie about gift giving.
ReignofKindo25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You are beautiful"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's good for you!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are my favorite, don't tell your sister. I just somehow think moms say this to each one of their children separately.
Good_Apollo_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're not fat honey, you're just husky" (or big boned, or 'about to start a growth spurt') yeah mom, sure, I'm 33 there is only 1 direction I grow. That's out, not up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Just take off your glasses, I promise I won't laugh!"
LovelyLass86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dom't smoke pot. It kills braincells
AgentKruger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That power can be innocent
TimboInSpace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're special.
nodickpicsplzimamale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're all my favorite!"
justwannagofast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:07 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's yours
Konvexen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
GrimCreepaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you keep making that face, it's going to stick that way.
ConorDinnage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
Too much?
twistedivy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Tupperware container in the freezer has boring old fish in it. Don't open unless you love fish. ( It was ice cream)
Well played, Mom.
_aa_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never got that mocking bird.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want when you grow up"
Wolf_of_Stark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be anything you want to be. Maybe not successful, but you can be.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
u dont have legs
Atrunia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything is going to be fine.
moldren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Myย mommy always said there wereย no monsters - no real ones - but there are.
Kuntzman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fruit and veggies will make your dick big.
mitnamdor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:40 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Of course I don't have a favorite! I love all of you equally." No, you don't, Mom.
KeeblerElff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll be there in a minute, I'm almost done!"
ChipTheGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
coltfan1223 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That if I don't wear a jacket I'll catch a cold. Temperature really doesn't effect your chances of getting a cold.
cjhest1983 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Just a minute!" More like an eternity later...
airbiscuits_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, this thread is funny and depressing at the same time
eleazerj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When warning you about doing something unsafe: I had a friend who...(insert relatable and tragic lie).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're so handsome,you're gonna have to fight off all the girls"..
....riiiight
flyinglifeaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you tell me the truth, you won't be in trouble.
otakuharu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You'll be ok"
LovelyLass86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fine.
frenchy559 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Come here.. I'm not gonna spank you."
NavyLadyBug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That monsters aren't real.... they're very very real and they don't live under the bed but they could very well live down the street.
bitfrost41 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:40 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You handsome, little boy."
genericguysname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This is for your own good."
ohgodimgonnasquirt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you go in that gorilla exhibit no one is going to help you.
StressedForlife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"you never asked if you could go to your friends house"
hohinder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Eating chicken wings will get you your own pair of wings." Thanks, ma.
Ageris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:40 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll thank me when you're older.
SapientChaos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course I wanted you.
KiraMartin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That Harry Potter was evil, not just a fun story. Because of all the magic in it, Mom banned it, I have since become a fan. If she had not I probably would not have read/watched it, as there would have been no interest in what I was missing.
siyanoq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"There are no monsters."
innovationflow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"youll shoot your eye out"
chelliniful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
''It's going to be alright''
Inferisrhiakath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You wouldn't like this adult candy. It's spicy."
Moe_Lesster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This is your real dad"
Babarkj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can do X when you're Y years old."
But when you hit the aforementioned age, a new milestone is set on you and the old milestone is cast aside as being immature.
goblett ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
1nsaneMfB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you keep poking the fire with a stick, you're gonna pee in bed.
No honey, you are beautiful, they're just jealous.
Doiihachirou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you".
dtjeepcherokee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
Daedalus_Odyssey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:46 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't eat your tomatoes, your balls will fall off
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Marilyn Manson removed two of his rips so he could suck his own dick
JesteroftheApocalyps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So he passed on two bong session rounds because he was blowing himself instead?
nicksmom25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I tell my kids " I'll think about it." When I know that means I just want them to leave me alone about whatever they are asking for.
turtlepanzer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Awwwwww what a beautiful picture honey"
Draakje ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love my children"
MagicalWeirdo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh I know just how you're feeling!" goes on to tell me a story that has no correlation to the actual problem I'm having
For example, I was being treated like absolute crap and basically being shut out of a group of "friends". I tell her this and she goes on the tell me about how her friend tried to make her hide her friend's diet pills and she said no to her friend. Good for you mom! You're the perfect little preachers daughter!
AndrewIsOnline ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:24 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just going to the store for smokes"
AndrewIsOnline ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This is mommies new friend, Billy"
greentea1985 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We're leaving now." 20 minutes later, still saying goodbye.
Mallardyy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:36 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you don't behave I am turning the car around and we aren't getting (insert fast food chain)"
She never turned the car around.
SpawnOfPhlick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Girls like nice guys. Be their friends first, then it'll just happen.
PM_ME_YOUR_BEST_IMG ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:30:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's half true, though.
Start as friends and then ask them out. Works for me.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:22:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's great advice. I met my husband and we started as best friends. Now we're married and play video games in the evenings :) Quality women enjoy quality men.
digdilem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Careful you don't swallow that apple pip or a tree will grow in your tummy!"
Fucking parents. I was obsessively worried about that for YEARS.
ricecube11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone care to explain why the "I love you" part is a lie? I'm 20 and maybe I'm still naive?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are shitty parents out there; mothers who should not have had children but did anyway.
thisisnotoz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We took the dog to a farm.
ttak82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Mother always knows what's best for you."
Another way of saying, "do what I tell you to do."
Phonepirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:53 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a headache
stupid_account ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"everything will be okay"
Then they die, followed shortly by you.
ferrychristian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Please tell me the whole story , I promise I wont tell to Dad".
I must tell you, the story is something different in reality.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where babbies come from.
WeTzluK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:24 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SANTA CLAUS
CarlSpackler22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:24 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sure you're not hungry"
BitVainglorious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm always on the 'Naughty List' ๐ข
Best_of_Ireland ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
LooseLeaf24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you both the same.
Zebedayo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is your dad
FrenchDayDreamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"you'll understand when you get older".. I'm older, there's a bunch of things that still don't make sense
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How awesome I am
cjdxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:45 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
darkjeepers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You were planned
musigalglo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa? My mom refused to lie to us about it though.
Random420eks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
Hushwater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:24 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kindness is rewarding.
Sgt_45Bravo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love all my kids the same."
agreen1968 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the baby is yours
Full_AP_Rengar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not hungry, you can have my share on that."
talkaboutitlater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're so handsome.
fastball032 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy... sorry kids
abCroft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:35:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Father Christmas is coming...
ARosesThorne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
911 was not an inside job
laughpound4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't want the last piece,take it!" Just remember that most moms love their kids and will always put their wishes behind their kids'
KabaliBilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always said that I belong to Pisces sun sign and I will travel beyond seas.I haven't even crossed my state border in 30 years of existence.
mistyeire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:39 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, NO! It's broken!"
Netflix, an old tablet, and the Xbox one break a lot here....
jasmine_tea_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:44 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"Your teeth will fall off / se le van a caer los dientes!" - my grandmother whenever she'd see me eating candy
"Everything's going to be alright / things will work out" - my mom, but I don't think this is a bad thing to say. I used to get mad when people would say this, but now I find it comforting.
moneymay195 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That I'm a good looking boy
smiley199xx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:07 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm ok, Honestly.
Goweigus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sitting too close to the TV will permanently damage your eye sight, and cracking knuckles is bad!
sgdbw90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything's going to be alright."
Not in the long run, Mom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That one about the old fat guy who sneaks in your house and leaves you potentially dangerous boxes of whatever once every year.
You'd think kids would be relieved that their own mother's give them presents instead of a mysterious stranger but I guess not...
ImNotYour_Mom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're my favorite..
salcos1776 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
These video games will make you violent.
212425 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No, I've never smoked weed or cigarettes."
Thelostredditor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:40 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
Iwanttobeanairbender ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:36 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you unconditionally
paintballa99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're not really hurt, you're just growing"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Just ignore them and they'll leave you alone."
ShinyaHiragi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't enjoy punishing you..." Funny considering they can't seem to go 5 mins without tearing into you for something...
Mucock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:42 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Eat your tomatoes, your wee wee will grow."
D00G3Y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
Imthecoolestdudeever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I would run off on my mom while we were in a grocery store, she would say "ok, well, I'm leaving" and then she would go around the corner.
I should have went and hid. There was no way she would have left, and I could've scared the shit out of her. Instead I lived in fear of being left behind.
NoWayJose10914 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll pay you back soon"
froggybroon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you swallow chewing gum, it'll get stuck in your throat and you'll die (because you can't breathe)".
I only realised when I was 26 after a hysterical laughing fit from my friend.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:53:47 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, (name), we don't have a favourite child.
AHordeOfSeaMonkeys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
notsoslootyman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:01:25 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything's fine
Lovelybones177 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you and no you don't look ugly
irdde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm proud of you son"
EveryUsernameInOne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:10 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
OldBlackEye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:21 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is No monsters under the bed..
ouissd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I blocked AdviceAnimals a long time ago, but I remember thinking a similar thing (Reddit is obvious) when I noticed "Shitty Suburban Mother" (or whatever the fuck she's called) existed as a meme but no such equivalent for men existed.
Crwuxly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:58 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me i would get an epileptic attack if i played too much video games. I cant get epilepsy, but i did get an irrational fear for epilepsy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it's not out of date. ..eat it!
lilbebe50 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're beautiful, cute, etc.
denverpilot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:57 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll always be here for you"... Goes equally well for moms and dads but moms say it more often... And of course, they eventually die.
fluffinator212 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:55:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll never leave...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's going to be OK/everything'll be fine/etc"
Not as a bold-faced lie, but in some cases it's a "little white lie". She has no idea if it's all going to turn out for the better or for worse. She's just saying something reassuring to make the child feel better, not a statement of fact at all.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
After my mother would beat the shit out of me for missing a key on the piano, my father would say, "She only does it because she loves you".
Fuck off you cowardly piece of shit, you stood there while she put scars in my back. And then you tell her, "you can't do that in this country, the CPS will come and take your son away and then I'll get in trouble with the cops"
skywalkerllll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll buy it for you, when you grow up.
hajaja9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:56:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I loved to sing in the car on long journeys, when I was young and when he got fed up with it, my MOM would stop the car and let me out, saying that my voice was so good that he thought everyone outside would like to hear it. When I had had enough, he let me back in and we continued the journey.
P_logey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:11:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I Love you"
Bonsai_Buddha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:30 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
''We'll get it on the way back''
SmokeyTheRobott ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:29:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll buy you x on feburary 30th.
2ofdee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:38:53 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"it will be alright"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:52:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Ill get it for you next time"
thewookieeman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:20:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dinner's ready!"
alykillsyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:24 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Im sorry sweetie, we can't go to [insert place they want to go] they're closed today.
OnyxIsNowEverywhere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:31:08 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you" - no but... "You're my child".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Awwww, that's a beautiful baby.
anniejames90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:00:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I won't give you food and never talk to me again
viralplant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:01:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you make that awful face, your face will stay that way".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my moms case "I love you"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:32 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Say hi to "Daddy"
LonelyNeuron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I didn't move your (insert item here)! You need to take better care of your stuff."... Then you proceed to find your Gameboy in the sock drawer.
TheSameButBetter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:34:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When the ice cream van plays music it means they have run out of ice cream.
IKingdom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to just call it the music truck. Haha. We didn't have much money.
SassyAssAssassin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:25 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dad'll be back soon
I cri
Antonispaid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:48 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh honey you are beautiful"
kagemonstret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:03 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are special.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That i can pause the game.
KittenSwagger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:23 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Being a mother is the hardest job on Earth."
arefinrodh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:06 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I have every thing and i dont need anything more"
Nnol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:55 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I am listening...."
MAXMCARTHY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:26 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Santa is real
crystallize1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Finger blood sample is like a mosquito bite" ?
Kzargid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Threats, i honestly gelieve that eighty percent of threaths will never happen and the kids know it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
JBY
Skbrettbug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm starting to think I'm not as handsome as my mother told me I was.
Starvdarmy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
mdebb2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're special"
DrAids5ever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:41 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you all equall.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother believed this until end of middle school but my mom always threatened to sell him and told us of a deal gone bad. I find it hilarious now.
fightingmemer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:56 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're not fat" :,)
CthulhusIntern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:22 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ignore bullies, and they'll stop.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:19 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That they love their children more than the father can ever possibly understand. It's a shitty worldview
Loves_me_tacos125 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:38 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I brought you into this world, I can take you out." Lol you funny mommy, but I was hatched
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:39 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You were planned.
emmatuffnuts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:01 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm just gonna take a quick nap" and then she sleeps until next Christmas
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:30 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything will be alright.
sintrix2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:40 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're perfectly fine the way you are. Looks don't matter. Personality does...
thel33tman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:44 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I won't get angry at you, you can tell me" proceeds to explode at you with the force of a 50 megaton warhead
Loveyouguysbut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:18 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That ain't right. I hope at least you have some influence over your child. If you can maintain that, the kid will turn out ok, then the years fly by, and your babe will get wise and be able to assess things. She won't be able to control the situation forever.
buklaodee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:59:47 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Keeping a fan on while you are sleeping will kill you. I shit you not Asian parents are weird.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:44 on August 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can't be a lot of things. Like in NASA if too short, or a porn start.
penn_station_vacancy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:24 on August 14, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Stop frowning or your face will freeze that way." It never did. But I did inherit her resting somber face. Love you Mom.
penn_station_vacancy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:35 on August 14, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Another one! Me: Daddy, we don't have a chimney so how does Santa Claus get in? Him: Santa has a key to every house in the world...
Sat on the front stoop contemplating that answer at about 4 years of age and concluded bullshit! He would have to have a damn caravan of sleighs for all those keys!
We laugh our asses off now. My 81 year old dad says "What the hell was I supposed to say? You asked too many questions, smart ass kid!"
courtneyleonard520 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:40 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess this isn't common but my mom always lied to us about dumb shit. My favorite was when she told us for years that she couldn't cut off the crust on our sandwiches for lunch because by the time we went to lunch, it would grow back.
Meanwhile, we would ask everyone who had their crust cut off, how didn't It grow back. They looked at us like we were fucking retards...
courtneyleonard520 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:42 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom also had a house picked out at the end of our street that she said she'd take us if we were bad.
She called it the Annie Wilkes house from "Misery"
We were fucking terrified..
prettyemily22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:57 on September 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"There is someone at the door, Hope!"
Vexxedis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:26 on November 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I won't bother you for the rest of the day"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That you can't handle things on your own if you break both of your arms.
ONCEisONCE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your father and I love you" lol
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you go outside with wet hair you will catch a cold.
allothernamestaken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you work hard enough, you can be whatever you want."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
B0h1c4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always told me "You're gonna break your arm/neck", anytime I was skateboarding, racing BMX, climbing trees, jumping off of anything, etc.
I've never broken a bone... aside from my hands. .... no major bones.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
B0h1c4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She said I would break my arm or my neck. I never broke my arm nor my neck.
Frizzzle62 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.4cdn.org/gif/1470727864046.webm
BitchesGetStitches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my case: "I love you."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you lie your hands will turn to stone"
Keskekun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"it'll be alright"
It won't be. That Harlet Aine still has my Pokemon yellow with a shiny koffing. I was very clear that she could only borrow it, it was not a gift. Koffing isn't even native to pokemon yellow . Do you even know the pain and suffering i put in to get it. So no it won't be alright and I won't forget this in a few years when I'll be "chasing girls" instead. It will never be alright
JohnnyHartman75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I Love You"
Harleyquincey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
Mindriot07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I Love You"
AeroMonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'I love you'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:37 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
pagandroid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
ChemEngerUK1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not a common lie but one which is hilariously cruel.
My mum used to tell me that when the ice cream truck was playing music it meant that they were out of ice cream, evil.
Siberwulf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Daddy went to get some milk at the store.
Chipnstein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dad: Ask your mom.
Proceeds to ask mom
Mom: Ask your dad
Repeat cycle
Hokoganbrother ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
Tryamitar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"The ice cream truck plays music when it's out of ice cream."
Seriously mom what kind of fucked up marketing plan is that.
NOfuckstogive11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
bdsheehan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
GlobalWarmer12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Of course he's your baby!"
venomousbeetle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That I wasn't a fucking piece of shit
mmvemshnup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"i love you"
Ahhhcraaaaap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you son"
warmwaterpenguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love all my children the same!
gmonkeyq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I promise the baby's yours Steve"
Hunter_michelle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most common lie told by mothers? "I love you"
kurwanaattori ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You've been on that damn computer all day"
mel_cache ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was no lie!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:57 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Robtommorow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It may not be hard but it sure is stressful.
whereisthegravitas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We're only in our pyjamas because we spend every blessed minute running around after everyone else and don't have a minute to pee, never mind get dressed!
JackieBoySlim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Being a housewife is the hardest job in the world.
knox_vile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sleep tight. don't let the bed bugs bite.
Firstly, Kinda impossible to avoid em' when you have em'.. Secondly, why the fuck do we have bed bugs you disgusting whore? Thirdly, How the fuck am I supposed to sleep tight knowing there's bugs in my bed you dumb bitch?
JarekBloodDragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Being a mother is the hardest job in the world!"
Oh really? Do you have to provide for an entire family, working full time yourself? Do you have to constantly worry about what would happen if you got fired?
But no, I'm sure cleaning the house then sitting at home watching TV after you dropped the little shit off at school is soooo hard.
I seriously hate this line.
maggieG42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is actually a very patronizing line I don't find housewives tend to come out with. It mostly comes from women who work outside the house. Like patting a small child on the head when they have drawn a completely rubbish picture and telling them how good it is. Same as the ones that come out with a mother or teacher has to be chief, doctor, designer, gardener, psychologist just because they may put a band aid on, cook a simple dinner, remove some weeds or sew a button on. They are simply patronizing.
Mariita24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who is mommy's favorite boy?
themech ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: really butthurt entitled brats
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
Raquel930 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you keep making that face it will stick that way.
Mynameisdoctor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That he was just getting a pack of cigarettes.
Oh wait mothers...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You know, the gestation period is actually nine LUNAR months"
No, it isn't. It's 280 days, which is ten lunar months. My father got his future wife pregnant before they got married.
The shocker is that it took over 4 decades for me to bother doing the math.
kthxba1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:54 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I couldn't get tickets to the Uncle Al show." Meanwhile, all my friends and every other child in the greater Cincinnati area was on the damn show!!! Yes, I'm still bitter.
Cthulhu_Rises ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really? No one said the saddest one.
"It's okay. I already ate..."
:(
rose_garden1992 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:31 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Being a mother is the hardest job in the world." It's not. Shut the fuck up.
fptp01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:27 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When they tell you it's just a phase.
IT'S NOT JUST A PHASE MOM THIS IS WHO I AM NOW MOM!!!
carny4ever ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:28:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Kids who have no concept of what it's like to be a parent
barchueetadonai ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:28:14 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God is watching you
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:32:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sad that dad died too." gets boyfriend three months later
PartyDad69 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:30:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It'll be bigger when you need to use it"
:(
keanos_squint ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:05:17 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All moms check their sons for prostate cancer.
riloh ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:20:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is ok," or "everything will be ok."
Nothing is ok. The world is fucked and getting worse, and you eventually lose everything and everyone no matter how you live your life, and you're destined for an eternity of nonexistence.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:53:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually the world has steadily been getting better for like 200 years, but ok.
mecrosis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:13:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People don't want hear this. They want to think it's getting worse so they can either rationalize being dicks or not trying to change what they don't like.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is really sad to read, but I think an important truth nonetheless.
Valkyrie_of_Loki ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:54:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That being one is the greatest thing ever, or that they're happy.
Anybody with common sense can see the regret in their eyes and the fact that they're dead inside.
XUtilitarianX ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:17:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
imnotboo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:46:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a headache.
BigbyWolf343 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:11:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: people with unspoken anger at their mothers.
eggbert194 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:13:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe
absecon ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:19:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ice cream truck only plays music when it's out of ice cream...only me? Oh. Well that's what I tell my kids..
zanezabar ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:20:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll stop drinking." Amirite?
emperorchiao ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:27:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How long they were in labor. It's like fish stories with guys. I swear, every time my sister tells how long labor was with one of her kids, she adds on half an hour. Eventually she will have been in labor half her life.
CaIIous ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:37:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This question is sexist.
swipperswap ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:47:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
โYou are not a stupid fat american child that deserves to get killed in a random bar shooting.โ
i-heart-trees ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:49:28 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't eat your vegetables the bad man will come and stab you tonight.
NoNiceGuy71 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:59:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So And So is your read daddy.
MarkusD ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:08:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When my sister moved to Washington, she told her kids that pacifiers were against the law there.
sneezedr424 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:23:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
".........."
My mother's dead ๐
idgarad ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:44:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm on the pill?
Ankari ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:04:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Muslim family. Inshallah (God Willing).
After so many of these, it became synonymous with "no."
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:07:21 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That life is worth living
RPBSVC ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:20:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't favor your brother."
Buuuuuulllllllsssshhhhhhhiiiiittttt.
I look just like my old man. She hates my old man.
Even now, she brings it up, even though I haven't said a word to her about it in decades.
I'm going to butcher the Bard here: "methinks the Lady doth protest too much."
ChewMaNutz ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:21:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If it was single moms, "I'm not looking for sex". Said every horny mother out there.
Xander7892 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:25:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
S3eqgb bqfebq
pgm123 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:30:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have nipples. I sweat milk." --Platypus mothers.
sephtis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:32:48 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Somthing somthing Santa.
Bob_Fillington ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:35:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
12,140 comments... wow, mom's sure do lie a lot.
dtreynolds12 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:35:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Daddy's just had to leave for a while."
Ontheneedles ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:35:23 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Everything is going to be fine."
"It's okay, you're safe. I'm here."
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:35:45 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just a minute
TrowelMaster ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:36:25 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's nothing to be afraid of.
sid_gautama ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:36:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That they love all their children equally.
WonderWhatsNext ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:36:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're not fat, you're just big boned.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:37:43 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Scripter17 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:33:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"D colon."
Thatgl ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:38:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You look gorgeous, you'll have all the boys chasing after you in that!" Something along those lines whenever I dress up. I'm sure many other potatoes can relate.
707cubs25 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:53:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you keep playing with that you'll pull it right off and end up like your sister"
OddBall8778 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:07:49 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No one has mentioned Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy
MickNutton ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:25:24 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
thefourblackbars ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:30:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"oh honey, you don't look like the postman, honestly"
JimmyBongwater ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:31:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you play with it you'll go blind" ha jokes on her, never went blind bitch!
Unreal_Banana ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:33:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One or the other.
jenniferthekiller_1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:18:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Yor beautiful." "Yor handsome."
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:27:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God exists.
Top kek jk Weeww lad edge Mc fucking leveled Oh
Llwlel hehe u may give me your Cummins daddy le fun wut m9
Hurrhurr
Harry Potter and the guys who are interested in your email 2016
Azmodeon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:29:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you just have a seizure?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:34:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hอ ฬฬฅelฬ ฬ อฬคฬฒอ pฬ
MelaninlyChallenged ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:37:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No hunny, the mailman and I were just wrestling."
Browneyedgirl_08 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:01:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
From my mother it was "I'm putting your daddy to sleep"... Yeah. Your ass is putting him to sleep, alright. Gross ass.
Angiesunshine ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:41:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Quit crying I barely touched you" ... You just whooped my ass with a wooden spoon.
dasbeidler ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:41:13 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not crazy
Rockstar_Zombie ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:47:29 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: people who have shitty mothers
DoryS111 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:05:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
@ Raining hammers. Please explain what you mean by your comment. I am clueless.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:33:53 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry son, that's normal size.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:35:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
maninbonita ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:05:25 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your special
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:12:50 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
Lindby ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:40:01 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You just ate, you need to wait for 30 minutes before swimming. You can cramp up and down".
She just want some peace and quiet to enjoy her coffee.
someguy7734206 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:45:18 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just to get this out of the way: Religion.
You can turn me over-- I'm done on this side.
hoodedsovereign ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:09:37 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No, son, I did not give your dad a blowjob before I kissed you good night."
NihilistsDream ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
alfabetacharlie123 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
hopswage ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:22 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Mother knows best."
Ugh, no. Mothers are just as dumb as any other layperson. They just have some obsolete protective instinct that makes them think they know better.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:12 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
dogglepus ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
azarovarseny ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:35 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
for me that was ''your dad is very rich''
800ASA ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the Netherlands: That Sinterklaas exactly exist
Demorthus ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:44 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not [insert age] I'm 25.
SeekerOfSerenity ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We're just doing this because your arms are broken. It's not weird. "
bobbybox ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:47 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
From my mom: "The [insert body part here] is the fastest healing part of the body."
Her lazy way of appearing sympathetic.
savealltheelephants ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:43 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can be anything you want." False. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Honestly think if I had tried from a young age to be anything that had to intrinsically involve math, I still would have failed.
Sati1984 ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 13:03:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You will accomplish nothing in your life if you sit around and play video games all day."
Since the professional e-sports scene exists, this argument is invalid.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:11:33 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, I played Black Ops for like 5 hours last night and nothing happened.
alternativespecs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:42:59 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Moms just want their kid(s) to get out, make memories, learn about the world, make everyday a chance to discover and achieve worthy life elements.
My brother sat around eating and playing games all day, even considered leaving school because he had no motivation for anything else. My mother encouraged him and got him opportunities to get out and live an active life. Now he saves lives and makes a difference in others' lives in a set career and has a pretty good income and a nice home with a chance of early retirement. He even took time to see other places in the world to learn and experience culture. He's accomplished quite a lot.
Sati1984 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:40 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ I was sarcastic.
eggbert194 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:09:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/s will clear up any confusion.
Sati1984 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:34 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did not expect any confusion to begin with.
eggbert194 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:11:00 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Were you not being sarcastic?
Sati1984 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was, as stated above.
eggbert194 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:41:33 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Again, /s will clear up any {future< confusion.
Sati1984 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:41:02 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Got it.
eggbert194 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:53:21 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Im just kidding. Nobody on reddit uses that!
Sati1984 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:05:48 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/j should clear up any future confusion.
eggbert194 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:13 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/confusion should clear up any future confusion.
Sati1984 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:33:45 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/clean should future up any should confusion.
Thrownitawaytho ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:00:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the end, you still would have achieved nothing but play video games.
Sure, it's video games plus money, but still.
Sati1984 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's like telling Usain Bolt "You still did not achieve anything but... ran really fast. Ok, for money, but still..."
PM_ME_YOUR_BANKS ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:27:46 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you."
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:15 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I LOVE YOU
d3rk99 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:30 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you"
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:46:42 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you son.-.
AwesomeKay ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 19:10:07 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm in love with your dad". Because women aren't in love with men. Women are in love with babies.
Bernieback ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 00:43:17 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
โItโs wrong to want to kill Americans.โ TRUTH: Itโs not wrong to want to kill americans. Itโs simply a basic survival instinct. Americans, by their very existence, threaten global species extinction of the human race through their fascination with nuclear weapon, and refusal to participate in climate change initiatives. The desire to take the life of someone simply for being american is a manifestation of a genetically encoded survival instinct in an effort to ensure procreation of the species.