tourn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:45 on September 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I come from the future which is now for me but a month ago for you specifically because I wtf'ed this and this thread was given to someone as a reply to this being used in a meme like manner in this post. I am confirming your meme.
TenshiS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:27:58 on September 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:09 on December 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hi! I'm from 4 months into the future from you but to the person reading this comment, I'm already in the past. We're still doing it in my current version of 'now'
vveave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:04 on December 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't wait for it to be funny twice and beaten to death within a week.
DrPinus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:22:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It... it is glorious, the miracle of life! There it lies, glistening in its amniotic birth fluids! Horrific beauty indeed; the feathered toes, the scaly skin, the thick layer of birthing fat, the dual genitalia! The newborn meme lifts its head, blinking at the bright light. The unsteady legs trembling as it stands, it stands! A step! Slowly, the neck bends, the meme eating its own placenta out of the cumbox, before rising again. The fanged maw opens and it cries for your mother, wishing to suckle her teats. Both its arms are broken, as is custom.
In that case, I'll leave this here so I can prove that I was there when it happened! Well, 8 hours after the fact, but that's like no time at all on the intarwebzโฆ
I've had friends who did that work and may I just say, that's actually not an uncommon experience. Some guys apparently are way too shy about what they want...
Yes, it does indeed. My friend works with a Mexican woman and she says it like that. According to her so do some of her Spanish speaking friends. I'm not sure if that's totally relevant but yeah just saying.
If you go with friends, ask them to order you one of what they're having, or their favorite, or something like that. More experienced drinkers can introduce you to things you'll like better. I /did/ drink way too much in high school, but that's how I learned what I like. You can also just look up some simple cocktails online and start making them at home.
I've gone from "I'd like a beer, literally any beer" to just ordering cider or cocktails. I think I just don't really like beer. :/ This is good advice though.
mrz_ ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 12:58:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No one likes beer. It is a peer pressure thing where everybody is just predending to like it.
Haha, I've seen that. I do know people who really like it, though. My husband even went from disliking beer, to liking it after we moved to a different country where the beer apparently tastes different. It's not for me, though.
What is IBU beer? Maybe I'll try it in the future. I know the sugar isn't great for me but neither is the alcohol, and I don't drink that much so I just consider it an acceptable indulgence. I like a lot of different things, but my two go-tos tend to be mojitos and old fashioneds.
IBU is "international bitterness units". It's roughly correlated with how many hops are in the beer (though that's a serious simplification). Hops are what give beer the kind of piney/soapy taste. For a lot of newer beer drinkers, it can be offputting, but it can also grow on you over time (the hoppy flavor, not necessarily the bitterness).
The thing is that a lot of beers that are popular now get advertised as being very hoppy, but many of those don't even bother trying to balance the bitterness.
Both mojitos and old fashioneds are on the sweet side of cocktails.
Styles of beer you might like would include hefeweizens, bocks or dopplebocks, and some belgian style ales (though be aware that some of these can have some funky flavor notes). Of the hefeweizens, since you like cider, you may want to try lambics, which are beers brewed with fruit and can include quite significant fruit flavors. Sour beers in general might also be something you would enjoy, though that's getting into an area where many modern craft breweries haven't gone quite as far.
Also, if you want to try something a little less sweet, but still not too bitter, you might want to look into saisons (or farmhouse beers). Those are typically lower abv styles so they can be nice to have with lunch sometimes.
If you try some of these and it's still not doing it for you, then yep, you're just not a beer person. That's fine too. But given how wide the expression of beer is, if you've only ever tried a few of the more popular brands, you might be missing out.
Gotta chime in for law, because it's surprisingly accurate for a lot of client intakes.
Man: I want to sue because I got a paper that says I'm getting kicked out of my apartment!
Lawyer: Alright, can you tell me a little about the situation?
Man: SIR, I am NOT a lawyer and I don't know.
Lawyer: Uh OK well do you know what the problem is. Can you tell me what happened? Did you have a lease? What paper did you receive?
Man: I don't know what papers I received! I just know that my family is going to be homeless! Are you going to help me or not?
Lawyer: Well sir, I can't help you if I don't know what happened. Can you start from the beginning?
Man: SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. ARE YOU SAYING I DON'T HAVE A CASE!? I KNEW YOU LAWYERS NEVER WANT TO HELP PEOPLE, YOU JUST WANT MONEY. I'M GOING TO CALL SOMEONE ELSE.
Person: I have an appointment and I can't find your office! I'm next to a taco cart. Do I turn left?
Me: I'm not certain where that is. Can you tell me what street you are on? Do you have our street address?
Person: I am NOT good at directions and I don't know! Oh I'm on Ina Rd.
Me: Ok where on Ina? Are you headed north or south?
Person: I don't know what that is! Just tell me if I turn right or left!
Me: I have to know what direction you're headed. Did you turn onto Ina from the interstate? We are across the street from the hospital.
Person: SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU I AM NOT A DIRECTION PERSON. YOU OBVIOUSLY CANT HELP ME SO I'LL FIGURE IT OUT MYSELF!
I love these types of phone calls at work -_- Sorry I can't read your mind! I also love when they keep cutting me off to complain about how they'll never find the office, while I'm trying to explain how to get to the office.
Heroicis ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 15:51:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my ville there's a busy intersection with two separate Waffle Houses literally in opposite corners of the intersection, the other day I went to the southern WH and heard an employee on the phone desperately trying to explain to a customer which WH she needs to go to to pick up her food, 'twas funny
ShareDVI ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:10:40 on August 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be very anxious finding my best to anything in the city, but I changed my attitude, and it went away. Playing Ingress and Pokemon Go helped a lot.
Werro_123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:42 on September 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got a call from someone trying to find the repair shop I worked in once. They had no clue where they were, so I asked them what business they saw around them, hoping I would recognize one of them and figure out where they were. I did. It was the coffee shop next door to us. They were in our parking lot.
Yeah I mean sometimes it helps. I do know a lot of the area around our offices. I've even learned exactly where a few other doctors are nearby because their patients sometimes walk into our office asking for help. Lots of the patients are older so I get it, but if you're just listing off random side streets and neighborhood signs that's not going to help...
Werro_123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:26:28 on September 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, considering the person was already in our parking lot and still calling to find us, I dont think it would have been very helpful if they weren't outside already.
Lol I don't know. I feel like we share the same pain. Want to hear an even better story? This happened on Monday.
Patient comes in for his appointment at 1:00pm. As he checks in he tells us that he tried to call between 12 and 1 but couldn't get through. We tell him the phones are muted in that time. Then he says that's "a real problem" for people who work because usually their lunch break is the only chance they have to call places. We tell him the phones are muted because that's when we take lunch too. This man literally tells us "Well you need to change that" (we can't change it, we have to take a lunch) and then tells us we ought to go to lunch between 2pm and 3pm instead. He was loud and making a scene.
My coworker: "I'll suggest that to the practice manager and let her know you're unhappy. She's at lunch right now."
Totally off topic haha but I wanted to share with someone. It was one of those things where it was just so bizarre and pointless that we weren't even mad that some guy yelled at us, we were just like "????"
Just a question, and sincerely this is not an attack on you, but are you affiliated with the legal profession or legal loans? Because your entire type up sounds really strange to me.
First and foremost, in my knowledge it is not commonplace for reputable establishments to extend a loan based on a potential recovery in a lawsuit. The only companies I'm aware of that do that (at least in my state) are the scummy legal financing companies that are hardly a step above loan sharks. They usually charge exorbitant interest rates, and most attorneys (again, at least in my state) strongly advise against any client using them.
Second, I have had a few clients who have absolutely insisted on taking out loans from such a company against my better advice. Most times, the loans are more in the 2-3k range and it's like pulling teeth to get them higher. Reason being is that the companies know there's a chance the applicant is overselling their case and there is a decent chance they won't make nearly as much money as they represent, or even any money at all. In order to apply, the attorney (i.e. me) usually has to call in, give a brief description of the case, and essentially sell the value to even get up to the 2-3k range.
Third, normally these companies do not extend the loans to the clients for them to pay legal fees. Usually clients are attempting to take out these loans on personal injury or other contingency fee cases. If anything, the money serves as a cash advance to the client to pay medical expenses and other bills while the case is pending if the client is truly in a bind.
I'm sure there are exceptions to the general situations I've seen. Maybe it could be different with large structured settlement companies or high level mass tort claims (like asbestosis or mesothelioma cases), but your scenario seems like a "greedy lawyer" stereotype.
I will admit, however, that we work very hard to address the tiny details for our clients and somtimes, despite our best efforts, small details can fall through the cracks. It happens when you're managing anywhere from 50-100 peoples' cases at a time.
I completely understand. We only fund criminal defense cases, up to $20,000, instantly online. We do not offer case funding. We offer loans to the clients, to cover retainer costs. We fund the attorneys directly, so they are paid in full, upfront. Clients make payments over time, up to 5 years. Our banks offer TIL's and we are regulated by the same usury laws as credit cards. Attorneys and clients love us. Thanks for the deeper dive. Happy to help clarify!
P.S. - $4,000 case fee. $0 down. 6 months 0% interest. Payments of $122 per month. First payment due in 30 days. Billed monthly.
That makes more sense. I do mostly civil plaintiff's work and haven't ever run into a situation where a client was taking a loan to pay a retainer. I could see that working out well for a criminal defense client. We have an associate who does criminal defense, however, so your company intruiges me. What's the name and are you active in SC?
Have you ever noticed that the people who are quick to call a lawyer are usually the ones that have no problem at all, whereas the ones who resist calling usually end up calling too late for you to help? It's been frustrating me lately. Someone will call with an employment issue or a drug charge or something, but it will be 4 months after the fact. Most times they've already done something irreversable and mucked up their situation. Sucks because a lot of the time the ones that are nice and don't want to rush to suing are the ones you can't help.
I think this one is assuming you can even get them to start probing for information. Most lawyer's I've worked with can't even bother with the paperwork involve in a car accident.
My mother-in-law always claims she can't figure out technology, and won't even try.
My father-in-law was keen to learn, and would ask me to show him step by step how to, for example, email a photo, or post it to facebook. He'd write the steps down carefully, then follow them with me talking him through them, then again with me saying nothing. Then the same the next day, and eventually, he'd be able to do it by himself.
Then, one day, we were trying to contact my technophobe MIL, but we couldn't get through to her at all. We were getting quite anxious. When we finally did meet up, we taught her how to receive and make calls on her (new for her) smartphone. I only had to explain it once, then watch her once, and she got it.
So my MIL, who normally won't touch tech, learnt quicker than my FIL, when she was sufficiently motivated.
For some unknown reason people can use their brain for stuff like cars but as soon as anything about computers comes up NO ONE FUCKING UNDERSTANDS LIKE IT IS MAGIC! Fucking hell just listen and follow instructions, is it really that hard just because it is a computer?
Edit: Thanks for everyone providing their on views about this. Really interesting reading through them.
My mother needed a new part for her woodburning stove she has in her lovely out-of-state cabin that she can afford. What she apparently couldn't afford was the time or courtesy to the woman on the phone who asked her for the model number. My mom kept telling me what a bitch she was, until I spoke with her, and found the model number on the plate at the side of the stove. When I answered the "bitch" on the phone with the model number, with the number where it said, "model number," things were surprisingly uncomplicated. My mother was even angrier at me after that. What a shithead I was to help out that horrible woman by figuring something out!
My parents are getting more and more like this every day. Every time I see my dad he complains about some horrible person working in customer service who couldn't help him with his problem. Even though when he explains what happened it's plain to see they were trying their best to help him but he just wasn't answering their questions because they weren't helping him in the exact way he wanted it to happen. I try to explain to him that people are trying to help and they were probably doing their best but he just doesn't listen. But this is a man who was the youngest by many years in a large family so nothing has ever been his fault and it's always been someone else's job to fix things for him. My sister and I practically had to look after him as well as ourselves when our Mum left when we were kids. Anyway, just wanted to vent. Sorry.
lordreed ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 11:47:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, vent away, I totally get it. I even feel a little bad reading some of these responses after what I wrote last night, with everyone calling my mom a cunt and the like. She's really not; it's more like how you put it -- a parent getting frustrated because the person trying to help them was not how they envisioned being helped. Was my mom in the wrong for how she behaved? Absolutely, but I think the problem comes from a kind of confused place rather than actually trying to be mean to someone. It's "Why won't you just fix it for me without me having to do anything?" rather than "I'm just here to ruin the day of some poor customer service person."
Best wishes with your dad. It takes a lot of patience some days.
I'm sorry people have been saying mean things about your Mom. I'm sure she's not really a bad person. I think just with technology moving so quickly and as people age they get more 'stuck in their ways' that it's hard to adjust. I think it's difficult for older people to change their way of thinking or see things from another point of view than their own. This is not a blanket statement about older people btw, it's just something I've observed with my parents and some other people I've come across while working in customer service. I can understand getting frustrated when you think something should be easily fixed and it turns out that it's not so simple.
Thank you for writing this. I found myself wishing, after reading the responses here, that more people would be considering this.
What my mom did wasn't cool, but I do think that older people can sometimes get stuck (not all older people, just sometimes!) and that's something maybe we should all consider as we get older ourselves. I feel like the people quick to call my mother rude names are the same people who might think they will "never be like that." None of us knows; I'm certain my mother never thought she'd be any kind of way, or that her child would be posting about her on some online forum for people to openly judge her and call her words she wouldn't even use. It makes me feel ashamed that I even posted it, when I think about what it would be like if I were her. We don't know who we'll be in a year, or five, or twenty, or forty.
Anyway, thanks again for your response. Everybody makes mistakes; while I think politeness is very important and that my mother did do wrong in the scenario I'd previously mentioned, I also think that she's not evil, and plenty of us might seem uncouth ourselves, as we age and enter a world catered to a generation different from ours. I'm sure that when my mother was younger, she was never asked for model numbers, and now she finds that a burden. The way she handles it is impolite, but I also get that for her it is a jarring experience to have the "fixer" ask her to actually do something to help him fix it. In her day, she pulled her car into a garage and told them to "fix it," and they did (not like she even cared what they did!). It was just a different time and a different mentality.
I appreciate you giving me the space to elaborate on what I had originally written. I had my regrets about it, due to some of the responses, so thank you for this -- cheers. :)
My parents are getting more and more like this every day. Every time I see my dad he complains about some horrible person working in customer service who couldn't help him with his problem. Even though when he explains what happened it's plain to see they were trying their best to help him but he just wasn't answering their questions because they weren't helping him in the exact way he wanted it to happen.
Prepare yourself because it just gets worse as they get older. It used to just be technology that was a struggle, now though - some of the things my dad has told me he's said to the clerk at the grocery store or that customer service desk at Home Depot... It's cringe worthy. And he's not a bad guy by any stretch of the imagination - best dad I could have ever hoped for. He's just, for some reason, changed in how he deals with people. I think it might be an older, "I don't really care if they think I'm a jerk, what's right is right!" mentality, but I'm really just guessing.
Sometimes it's hilarious (like the time he called some lady out on jumping in line, in front of a bunch of people) but sometimes it's just... Wow. It's like, he just has no filter at this point. He just says what he thinks. Perfect scenario - every time he goes to the grocery store and the clerk asks him if he found everything okay (something I'm sure they have to ask) he says "No. It was terrible. This store is laid out ridiculous and you don't carry the type of salad dressing I want." Like somehow, this poor cashier is responsible for the layout of the store or what they stock. And then, like Poor Cashier has been trained to do, she goes and gets the manager because a customer isn't "satisfied" and he tells the poor manager all about his troubles, only usually follows it up with "But you don't actually care. I'm not blaming you, but it's nothing to you if I'm unhappy. You still get paid!"
Any other time, he's a sweet, gentle, caring man. Put him in line at Wal-Mart though and suddenly he's a freaking Shadow Demon. I don't get it. Sorry to you for my own long rant, I just needed to tell someone who would understand I think :)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:26:21 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my dad wants me to fix his phone from another state. he won't send me screen shots or anything and repeats himself multiple times. he has sent me to the Apple store and the AT&T store on his behalf, without the phone, not listed on his account, in a different state, with minimal information.
Chode36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:39 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never understood why ppl are so disrespectful to the ppl trying to help them. Then I had to deal with eBay/PayPal on a buyer scamming me and all that went out the window. The only time I tried to grab the csr through the phone and shake sense into them.
She's ok. I love her and all, she just hasn't had a lot of experience with other economic classes in our country.
[deleted] ยท 236 points ยท Posted at 03:14:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like she's OK to you, but still an awful person if her default is to be mean when she's speaking to someone from "a different class". Let her know a poor from the Internet thinks she's mean.
bcdm ยท 122 points ยท Posted at 08:18:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like the old saying goes, "A person who is nice to you, but is rude to the waiter, is not a nice person."
I've never heard this, but I love it. I worked as a server for a while so anytime I go out to eat with someone I watch to see how the heck treat our server. It can say a lot about people.
The real reason you take bitches to nice restaurants is so you can see if they're unkind to servers and if they are you gtfo. Your mum is a bad, bad man.
I don't get people like that. Do they not realize customer service people on the phone aren't psychic and can't order you new parts when they know literally nothing about your stove or whatever? I can understand being frustrated and accidentally taking it out on the person on the phone, but getting pissed that they need to know what's not working or what brand you have or whatever? What do they expect to happen?
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 10:11:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had this problem with century link. I found a kiosk in the mall with an actual person and told him we really need a tech sent out but the customer service repa never help. The kiosk guy called for me and actually had to yell at some rep for several minutes until he demanded her supervisor. It was fucking hilarious.
Anyway the tech came out and fixed our problem in 3 minutes and didn't even charge us. What a pain in the ass though. We had shitty Internet for 2 years.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:27:17 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
seriously, I'm willing to pay for it-- why is it so hard to get a tech to come out?
Chode36 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:18:14 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My father was the regional HR manager for our ISP . He couldn't even get a tech out to fix our jitter/packet loss issues for over 4 months and it never got fixed
If you call again I'd say to try demanding a supervisor and see if how far that gets you. They even arranged to have ours come on Saturday because we work 9-5 Monday through Friday but I think we got lucky on that one.
The 'old ways' where a serviceman would roll up to your house to diagnose and fix your HVAC, plumbing, phone, cable or other issue is fading.
Companies are now trying to get the diagnostics done over the phone because rolling out a serviceman is expensive for either the company or the customer, especially if the job needs a specialty tool or part that isn't part of the normal loadout for their truck. An HVAC tech, for example, would need a tractor-trailer loaded for bear to have a replacement for every possible starter capacitor, control circuit, fan, motor, compressor, ignitor, pipe, hose, fitting, thermostat, etc. in use in his service area on hand for every job. Getting a brand, model and a few troubleshooting steps over the phone means he can save a round trip and load his van to deal with his best dozen guesses of what could cause the problem.
It sort makes sense from their end though. I'm sure 90% of their calls are people age 45+ saying "My Internet doesn't work". So their default line has to be "unplug and restart everything".
While it may seem like basic shit to us on reddit, its still a foreign language to a huge percentage of people.
Which is kind of sad considering where technology is headed.
Qvar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:39:03 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Alas, nobody has invented yet a way to comunicate the idea of "I want you to send me someone and I'm willing to pay for it".
I don't really get it, either, but someone else wrote a response that kind of made sense to me. I'm not in any way trying to defend my mother's behavior, because I really do think it's shitty, but I think the reason she does it is not in order to be mean, it's more of a "why are you not helping me the way I want to be helped" or "just fix it for me, I don't want to have to participate" attitude. Again, totally childish and not okay, but different, I think, than actual malice.
Then only reason I even try to understand it is because I hope I can then teach her how to change her responses in these situations. I'd even rather her get pissed off at me than some person just trying to do their job. It does try my patience, though. Fortunately I have a place on the internet I can rant.
Sorry if this doesn't answer any of your questions. Like I said, I don't get it, either, this is just the closest thing I have to an explanation.
Right, so it's a M2 Sherman tank then. Your insurance premiums start at 100,000 dollars. Those tanks are expensive. Oh, it's not a tank? Well to correct it I'll need you to go look up the model of your vehicle.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:40:37 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just ask to see the registration. It's all there, including the VIN. (Which is useful because states make a surprising number of errors, especially in things like model years. I have no idea why.)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:56:41 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We had already taken reg numbers by then- we weren't allowed to presume the year of make from it because of the registration times of how the UK operates (numbers can sometimes mean it was first registered in the second half of one year or first half of the next).
TyrantRC ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 00:47:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my mom does this shit when I'm explaining something in the pc, she goes into retard mode and ask for things like: where do I click? (right I after I say click accept), right click or left click? (proceed to click the wrong button), close everything because shes done with the task and open the browser again.
The funny thing is that when she's alone in the pc she knows how to shitpost in facebook perfectly fine. I don't really understand why does this happens but it does, I'm not even mean with her or anything, really strange.
Your mom posts IN Facebook? And IN the internet? I think you mean on.
TyrantRC ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:12:19 on October 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this is a common mistake of mine, I'm gonna ask you, how do you know when to use which one?. Is there a rule for this or is just intuitive for native speakers?
Some of it is just experience, but a lot of the time you use 'in' when the subject is going within or into the object and you use 'on' when the subject is going upon or onto the object. In the context of social media, you normally post on things because you're using that social media outlet to post, but if you post as part of a thread or comment chain you would be posting in the thread, since the post is directly contained within the thread.
EDIT: For the Internet, the rules get a little unclear, and using 'on' seems to mostly be because of popular convention.
It's one of those very hard to explain things, definitely an intuition thing. You are On the Computer, typing On the keyboard. You make a sandwich IN the kitchen ON the counter. I'm sorry I can't explain it better.
[deleted] ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 23:51:28 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I was the same way in grade school. I barely graduated high school due to my math grades. I couldn't get it and my teachers would rarely take the time to answer questions.
When I tested for community college I was at an 8th grade level. Most of my professors have been amazing. I'm getting into calculus now and I've had an A in every math class. I've been thinking about changing my major to engineering lately.
po43292 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:43:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did terribly in math even into college where I decided to major in engineering. Took 2 fails in calc to realize I was weak in algebra and trig. Took those 2 classes separately and was able to get through calc and through engineering school. It's not paying off, but that's a separate issue. I'm in a different field now.
lennarn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How do you get math confidence?
xelle24 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:30:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Find a good teacher - not necessarily someone who is good a math, but someone who is good at teaching.
u/xelle24 is right. The trick is to learn something you'd never learned before, and with less effort than what you expected. The best bet is to find a good teacher (what happened to me). Or develop insane amounts of discipline when it comes to delayed gratification (still working on that).
Slightly unrelated, but have you noticed how many people get the same car colours? Personally, where I live almost all cars are either white, black, red or silver. Is that, like, an industry standard or something?
Haha, yes. Mostly whites, blacks, greys, silver here. While I don't know any "official" reason, this is what I've come up with:
Colours can cost more.
Colours can have a longer wait time (e.g. there might be a white or grey sitting on the lot ready to go, but maybe yellow you have to order in). A lot of people don't really care that much about the colour - so if you say "Have white and you can take it tomorrow", they often agree.
"Boring" colours are slightly better in terms of resale. Funky yellow is way more polarising than white.
Brawldud ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:00:11 on August 25, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never got this one. How do you not know your own car model?
Do you go to the dealership and get through the entire process of purchasing and registering it while just calling it "that one"?
TheRevEv ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 00:15:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You've obviously never worked at an auto shop. Many people do in fact think that cars run on magic. And some people don't even know what they're driving
po43292 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:45:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe the number of people that think this way. Like at least go on youtube and look at the basics of how engines work.
I think people fail to understand that certain people have a embedded understanding of particular things. Because I grew up with computers I can do just about anything on them without issue.
Now ask me to change the oil on a car? I'll have a step by step guide and it seems easy enough. Next thing you know I've got a gasket on backwards and oil leaking everywhere. To the other guy it's just common sense to me it's just wtf did I do.
Despite trying to explain to her multiple times, my mom still doesn't know how to "google" something. I mean, what does she do on the internet if she doesn't know how to use a simple search tool?
I tried to teach my mom how to google. It did not work.
I was trying to tell her about keywords you search for. Not like "how do I change the battery in my 1988 chevy celebrity" but like "change battery chevy celebrity" kind of thing and she just could NOT understand it.
I also got a lot of shit from my parents when they'd try to use yahoo messenger (I R an olde now) and if I didn't respond within seconds they said "well you must be busy, I'll talk to you later." Like...I got up to get a glass of water or something. Jesus.
Tjebbe ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:19:38 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
These days you can just type the full sentence though.
And in this day and age, basic knowledge of a computer is almost a necessity. So many jobs use them, and even if they don't, the application is most likely online.
Fucking hell just listen and follow instructions, is it really that hard just because it is a computer?
I've never understood the hate towards people like that. "Computer Literate" people seem to give users a really hard time when they want their hand held throughout a very simple process. I would much rather have the people that don't listen and just want me to come out to insert a USB stick and then click install for them because people like that have allowed me to recently move into my lovely new house...Hell if microsoft hurry up with windows 11 I might just be able to afford to get a pool installed.
If you teach a man to fish, he'll fire your ass the second he works out just how simple your job really is, but sell a man a fish and the lazy fuck will just keep buying the fish from you again and again.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:33:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like seriously. You don't have to know how to build a computer to use the Internet.
My brother once quipped "People think technology runs on fucking magic." Having worked tech support...he's right. You could honestly tell some people that Tinkerbell is in their PC, right next to a gerbil on a wheel, and they'd buy it.
You could honestly tell some people that Tinkerbell is in their PC
I opened my PC up after 2 years of heavy use and it did blow fairy dust everywhere.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:22:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an electrical engineering student, when learning about CPU architecture and transistor physics, I seriously do feel like they've got to be just a little magic. How were our pathetic ape brains able to construct complex structures at nm scales. I know that's not what you're talking about but it just stuns me every time I touch a computer
As a developer, I sometimes think about what's going on in the computer as I code. "Okay so billions of little gates are clicking one way or another, so that as I type, human letters appear on a grid of pixels, and then they do more switching and those letters turn into operations."
That's basically the reverse of me; I know stuff about computers but none about cars. Well, I know how to drive it and operate features, but under the (literal) hood, might as well be magic working down there.
MeppeKR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:06:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think the mere presence of a computer can make normally logical people lose all sense of logic.
My mom would be mad at me for being unable to fix the computer. There was some window that popped up day in and day out. Day in and day out she told me to come and fix it. Day in and day out she had closed it. Day in and day out she was unable to tell me what it had said. Day in and day out I told her to not close it or at least read the text so she could tell me what it had said.
Eventually my patience was running thin. So when she came to tell me to fix the computer I asked if she had closed the window without reading it again. Predictably she had. Then she was pissed that I couldn't do anything. I suspect that there was some program that had an update, but good luck finding out which one.
Oh, and when making food she was perfectly capable of reading instructions.
It doesn't help when these 'IT pros' don't know jack shit either. Had an issue with a modem where it couldn't connect to internet, I don't remember what the guy was saying but for the first time ever I was shouting at an IT personnel for repeating the same thing over and over as if I knew jack shit myself about computers. He reluctantly sent someone to 'check' my problem and lo and behold the issue I had was that for some reason my connection was connected to a different house, so while their pings came out positive on their side, I had no response.
To be fair while using computers aren't exactly magic, the computers themselves are pretty fucking magic. It took me a couple of years in my CS degree before I had a good handle of how computers work top to bottom. I mean a combustion engine, microwave, radio etc is relatively conceptually simple. Going from NAND to facebook well that takes a while to wrap your head around.
Especially in OP's example. Great your not a computer person, I've figured that out already considering my job is to help people who don't understand this shit but you don't need to know shit about computers to simply read what you see on the monitor.
Raiser19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
As someone who is pretty computer illiterate, for people who've had little no experience with technology the basics can seem a lot more complex than they really are. After you get past thinking of it as being too complicated, problem solving simple issues becomes pretty easy but beyond that it's a lot like try trying to read in a language you've never been taught. It can be done but it's a lot harder without someone who speaks the language teaching you how.
It's mostly a matter about their attitude to the "new thing"
xelle24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are people like that for cars, too. The lovely mechanics at the garage I take my car to love to tell me stories about their dumbest customers.
1369ic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I so regret not going into the IT business when I had the chance. I retired from the military and because I was a Linux guy who helped people upgrade their machine's hardware and so on, people kept telling me to go into the IT side of things. I kept with my same field, which is mostly writing.
The problem now is, everybody thinks they know my job, but I see IT departments get away with such incredible bullshit because the leadership doesn't understand what they do.
For example, I was in a staff meeting where the IT guy said, over the course of a conversation: I need to upgrade the hardware, I need to upgrade the software, I need to train all my guys on the latest stuff, I need to buy only from certain vendors who offer me the opportunity to pay out the ass for vendor support in case something goes wrong, and oh, by the way, I need to shrink everybody's mailbox size and limit attachments because the system can't handle it, there's data corruption and...it's all the users' fault. When I pointed out that other units have the same hardware and software and more users with fewer problems, he was not amused.
A lot of problems with computers aren't very apparent and it doesn't help that the person is probably frustrated amd upset about the problem
Rejusu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:48:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My older brother is not as bad as most people but despite growing up in a household that was technologically ahead of the curve (my Dad did CS back in the punchcard era of computing) he's about on my Mum's level as far as computers are concerned. Still not what I'd call illiterate but he has that mentality that it's all too complicated for him and so he won't try to fix things and relies on our Dad or his brothers for maintenance. Yet he's completed several years of Dentistry now and worked in surgery (as an ODP) before that. Still baffles me how he can work on the human body but probably couldn't install some RAM.
Lol this is so true. My old dad is the worst for this. He refuses to us the word icon because "icons are pictures of Christ".. He refuses to click on anything because click is a sound not an action. He presses instead.
He is also a very intelligent and well informed man who predicts social and political events well before they happen. As an example, when Obamamania was at its height in 2007/8, my dad said
"He's not a bad man, but he has no substance and he won't get anything changed."
I work at a computer repair joint and we always go to the computers and cars analogy.
We are continually amazed that there are people that have a password, but have no idea what it is (or if they even have one) until they see their login screen. We like to imagine mechanics having the same issue.
"Ok I'll just need your keys."
"What?"
"Your keys, to start the car."
"I don't have any."
"You sure? Because it's asking for keys."
"Nope. Never had any."
"So you just get in, sit down and drive away?"
"Yep."
"Look, here, that's where you normally put your keys in to start it. It won't start without them."
"Oh my keys? Right. Well it's either this set, this set, or this set followed by that set."
Passwords are a royal pain whenever a friend or family member tricks me into IT work.
I'm trying to convince my parents to just write down their passwords in a little black book and hide it in their sock drawer. Yes, I know that is terrible security compared to something like an encrypted password manager but my argument is thus, "Mom, if someone were to break into your house (15 miles from the nearest town and deep in gun owner country, no less) are you really going to be worried about your Roku account?"
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 17:04:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:29:54 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The risk other than that is other family members...
God forbid two people use the same Roku account
gjoeyjoe ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:01:54 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The problem arises when it comes to financial accounts stuff.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:44:14 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always tell people to tape their wifi password to the WAP, so they can always find it. After all, anyone with physical access to your WAP doesn't need the password.
I saw a great cop show on tv once where they had a guy so drunk he literally forgot how to use his car keys. Yet he was planning to drive home.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:17 on October 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cars still have keys?
Lobanium ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 01:52:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I can't see anything."
"Did you turn on the headlights?"
That sounds ridiculous doesn't it? And yet this conversation actually happens when dealing with computers.
"I can't see anything."
"Did you turn on the monitor?"
"I'm not a computer person!"
People very much forget to think when dealing with technology. They just give up and declare it to be magic.
MeppeKR ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 10:14:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the monitor. I learned that lesson when I was a kid. I had left something running and went somewhere with my dad. This was in both the early years of everyone owning a computer and me walking around on the planet. I was wondering if my game would keep collecting points every few minutes even if the monitor went black. My dad informed me that the monitor is just how the computer communicates with me and everything that's making it run is in that box next to it.
Years later I remembered this and was having fun at my former ignorance. I was shocked at finding out that that was a common misconception.
Lobanium ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 14:25:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE thinks the monitor is the computer when they first start computering. It was even more common when monitors were huge CRTs.
My life is technology now, but when my dad bought us our first PC he wanted to show us how heavy it was so he told me to lift it. I lifted the monitor. I had no idea what that extra box was for. I was a Junior in high school. Yes, I'm old (for Reddit anyway).
Tithis ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 18:50:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well it doesn't help that in the early days you had things like the macintosh being all in one and commodore having the guts in the keyboard.
Frodolas ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:35:36 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And even now, if you buy a Samsung or LG Smart TV, it is a computer and a display all in one. It even has a Web browser.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:00:06 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You consider the Macintosh early days? The Mac was part of the start of the modern PC era. Prior to that, PCs were a mismash of different suppliers and OS.
The earliest PCs were modular, including Apple's. In fact, the very first Apple didn't even come with a cabinet: You had to build it yourself. For a good while, output was either to a TV or a dedicated monitor that would usually only work with that computer, but these were usually separate components, rather than integrated in the same cabinet. Some early PCs, including some Apples, did have integrated monitors, but it was unusual.
What's particularly ironic about your comment is that what made the Mac so special at the time it came out is that it was integrated, at a time when most PCs weren't. But modularity trucked along as it had before in other brands, and so focusing on that one, and one model of it, really betrays either a myopic fandom of that one brand (which is common enough), or a general ignorance of PC history (also common enough).
Tithis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:01:00 on September 29, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually dislike apple and I'm perfectly aware there we plenty of micro computers and pc's before that and how they were modular. I was using the Mac and commedore 64 because of their relative popularity.
Also your comment comes off as belittling. If you are actually trying to educate it's best not to do that as it tends to turn people off.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:41 on September 29, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Apple
Commodore
PC's
Get over it. The world is filled with people who don't care about your feelings and never will. It's up to you to educate yourself. Extremely few other people will ever care if you learn anything. If you're unable or unwilling to learn something because your feelings are hurt, the only person who's affected by that is you.
The world is not a very nice place, and most people are not that nice. You can work to make both better, and you should, but you can't do it by wishing, and definitely not by complaining. The sooner you learn that, the better you'll be able to get by in life.
Tithis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:08:20 on September 29, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm aware, I was just trying to establish what you were actually interested in doing; educating or stroking your ego. You've demonstrated you are only interested in doing the latter. So stroke away friend, stroke away.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:52:07 on September 29, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No one can make you grow up. Like all life choices, it's yours alone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a case where turning off the monitor shut down the computer, because it was hooked up to one of those Master/Slave power strips. The screen was plugged in as master, the computer as slave. I never really found a use for those things.
coop355 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 23:04:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its probably supposed to by plugged in the other way around.
Whishishu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:11:44 on September 20, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dont know man, when i was a kid in the late 90s i remember using some computers like that where u pressed the monitor button and it turned on the PC and vice versa.
Old Macs did that at one point; they even had a dedicated "power-on" signal on their proprietary display connector that the button would trigger. I wouldn't be surprised if some of the Apple wannabes of the time implemented something similar.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:00:51 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or it was designed by engineers who'd given up trying to explain it.
That's how I started programming in Q-Basic. Fractals and stuff. And they took hours back then. I was less than convinced that I could start the program, enter the coordinates, and run it with the screen turned off.
I even had my own logic. If the screen is on, all output works fine. But if it's off, won't there be an error, like trying to print when the printer is off?
I remember hooking up all the vcrs and dvd players as a kid. Looking back on it, my Ma was lazy or didnt even give it a chance.
Some people just like to stop learning. Tried to teach her sudoku a couple of years ago, and she wouldnt even try because "she doesnt like math."
Mom, it really has nothing to do with math. It's more logic based. Once you get the hang of it, you'll love it.
No.
MalParra ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 08:57:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have also found that using car metaphors and comparisons when working with pc's actually helps people understand. Unless you get very technical. But keep it basic. and it works a treat.
Tech: Your CPU is broken
Customer: What?
Tech: It's like you are trying to drive a car with a blown engine.
I really can't understand how people don't know what car they have. Presumably you spent a non-trivial amount of money on it. How do you not know? Plus the make and model are usually WRITTEN ON THE CAR SOMEWHERE.
On the other hand I can't tell you how many people I have had tell me that the browser they use is foxfire or gmail, and who can't find the model number of their computer even if I tell them "It's written on the right side of the keyboard" or "on the top of the computer above the CD drive" or something.
I know a guy who used to work at a General Motors call center. He had some lady call in and make a complaint about a Ford. He told her that is not a General Motors product, so he can't do anything, and her objection was essentially, "But Ford is an American car, isn't it? And GM makes American cars."
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:02:01 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Right you are. And that's why you can complain to McDonald's about your Whopper."
I had someone tell me they couldn't describe the sounds their pipe was making because they weren't a plumber. They couldn't tell me if it was a high pitch whine or a gurgling.
Welcome to the life of your average dealership mechanic. It's crazy to think people spend so much money on something and know nothing about it. Maybe the color and maybe how many doors it has.
forfar4 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:25:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the UK - my friend was a car mechanic. An older 'Retired Colonel' type guy turned up in a Jaguar XJS V12 complaining about a grinding noise coming from the engine.
Friend: Have you had an oil change since the last service?
Colonel: My good man, it's an automatic!
My dad owns a car parts shop, you'd be surprised how many people tell him about a problem and when he asks "what kind of car is it?" they reply "A blue one".
forfar4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:25:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the UK - my friend was a car mechanic. An older 'Retired Colonel' type guy turned up in a Jaguar XJS V12 complaining about a grinding noise coming from the engine.
Friend: Have you had an oil change since the last service?
Colonel: My good man, it's an automatic!
Face + Palm = Reaction.
forfar4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:25:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the UK - my friend was a car mechanic. An older 'Retired Colonel' type guy turned up in a Jaguar XJS V12 complaining about a grinding noise coming from the engine.
Friend: Have you had an oil change since the last service?
Colonel: My good man, it's an automatic!
Face + Palm = Reaction.
Draav ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:31:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know this makes most people mad but honestly I think I've had conversations like that about cars before. I've used a car to get rides in a for a couple years I had a car to drive to work and home. But aside from how to make it go i knew next to nothing about it. Make model year? I dunno what is make? Like the company? I bought it from a friend I dunno what company made it.
Is it a sedan? I dunno what is a sedan? Oh it's a car with 4 doors? That's cool I always thought it was like a special brand of car like a Ferrari or something. So is like an SUV a sedan too?
4-wheel drive? 2-wheel drive? I get the concept of what that is, but I dunno how I'd check. Maybe it's in the manual somewhere.
Live in nj so I don't even know how to pump gas either.
You get the idea. I always know it's annoying, but I have so many other topics to learn and understand and I don't find cars interesting in the slightest so it was hard to even learn the basics.
I'm not very knowledgeable about cars either but you ought to know at least the make and model of your own, and at least a rough guess of the year. Doesn't make me mad but if there's a problem or you need to fill out some form it helps to be familiar with it.
Draav ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't disagree, but it is possible to happen. I did eventually learn. But it took way longer than it should
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:39:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The car analogy has worked so well for me...
I'm not expecting anyone to be able to diagnose or repair a majority of their mechanical issues, or drive like a professional stuntman. I can even understand neglecting basic maintenance. But the stupidity I've heard from users is the equivalent of wandering into the back seat of the car, sitting facing out the window, holding the key in the air and turning it like you were starting the ignition, and being legitimately unable to determine why your car is not moving.
I am completely not a car person, and frequently feel like an idiot when I take my car to the shop. That being said, I still try to give as much information as possible. "My car goes "Grrrkk...chk chk chk when I run the air conditioner, but it doesn't make noise at any other time." My mechanic must be used to it. Because he always asks other relevant questions surrounding different noises and things I may be doing at the time. We work well together...
I've found that the easiest way to relate computers to people is with cars. I often tell them "if your car has a flat, you don't buy a new car". Usually they understand what I mean
Thank you. Too many "tech-literate" people take it for granted that everyone knows "the basics", but I know I couldn't tell a sedan from an SUV or whatever you just said.
SEE YOU FUCKING JOKE ABOUT THIS SHIT BUT I WORK IN AUTOMOTIVE REPAIR AND THIS IS MY REALITY SOMETIMES
"My car is making a noise"
"Okay, what kind of noise?"
"I don't know, I'm not good with cars."
"Okay but is it like a clicking, or a squeaking, or a thump or what?"
"I'm not good with cars"
...
xxfay6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:46:10 on September 19, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A month or so ago we were meeting up with a relative on a grocer parking lot to go to a bbq, I told my mom to ask her what car it was since they change it around every so often.
Mom: What's your car?
Her: Just turn right when you see the pickup!
Mom: That's useless, what's your car?
Her: HERE HERE HERE TURN aaahhh you passed me!
Mom: We have no way of knowing where to stop if we don't know what we're supposed to be looking for, what's the car? or where exactly (as in number) are you?
Her: You should've turned when I told you.
Mom: We're gonna be on aisle 6, when you guys are ready to go look for us there.
I pull up and they ended up being 1 to the side in front of where I parked. It was a white Caravan.
Kezika ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:37:02 on October 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man: SIR, I am NOT a car person so I don't know
I worked for AAA for a bit, pretty common actually for wives to be like "I dunno, it's my husband's car, I just know it's a car." But usually I could get them to pull out their owner's manual or something and read me off what it said.
My favorite was one where I just couldn't get the person to give me a year make and model (and owner's manual trick wouldn't work because the problem was they were locked out of the car), but at one point they were like "I dunno, probably a Honda or something" so I put Honda in the system and then picked the first result which was like a 95 Civic or something. (System required all three before continuing)
Later on had one of the "Call Managers" which were the people that coordinated with the service providers after dispatch if there were any updates/discrepencies/etcetera message me asking why I put it in as a 95 Honda Civic and I told her that after a few minutes lady couldn't tell me anything more than "probably a Honda or something" and the CM was like "Lol, service driver said it was a Ford F-250."
Which is extra stupid because for lockouts one of the questions we asked during the process was "are the keys locked in the trunk?" which didn't prompt this lady to be like "no it has a bed" or anything.
You'd be fucking shocked at how many people don't even know the make of their car
[deleted] ยท 1823 points ยท Posted at 23:29:58 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once hung up on a woman like this. When the complaint came through management I didn't even let them finish, I aggressively told them to pull the recording and listen to it.
I used to work in a call centre and my boss LOVED customers like this. He never once got angry about those kind of calls - unless we were genuinely being a cunt to the customer - because he would wait for them to ring and complain and then make it his personal challenge to have sold them something by the end of the call. Worked every fucking time, like magic.
[deleted] ยท 894 points ยท Posted at 02:20:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your old boss knows the tricks. The dumber the customer the easier to rip 'em off selling them what they don't need. And I guess those type of people deserve it for not even wanting to put their damn brains to work. Your old boss does it like a boss.
He was honestly so cool. And his boss was even cooler. The guy started the company with nothing and worked his way up so he knows what it's like to be at the bottom and has never forgotten it. He treats everyone equally.
One day the guys were having an argument over who could eat the most cheeseburgers and the big boss was sick of hearing them measure dicks so he went out and bought 100 cheeseburgers and piled them on the conference room table and made them have an eat-off.
They sure were! He had to go to quite a few different ones because he couldn't buy all 100 from one store. They're like $3 here though haha. Such a waste of money but it was for a good cause.
Reminds me of the novel Blades and Barriers by Drew Hayes. When the new kids join the super team, one of them actually gets right the "we eat dinner together every night if possible" rule reasoning right. Because add shop talk and it becomes a deduction.
How is Blades & Barriers? I enjoyed the first two books of Super Powereds, even though it was a bit of a goofy setting that didn't hold up to analysis. I should probably read the rest,.
I can only do two. Three max. I don't know if they're different sizes here but I've definitely never had more than three in one sitting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:57 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wow really? cheeseburgers are nothing but air. They're only 1/10th of a pound of meat, and nutrionless meat at that; with a couple specks of onion and sauce. You can eat them in one bite if you tried.
I don't know, maybe they're bigger here but I've never seen someone put an entire one in their mouth unless they wanted to choke and die. Two bites for sure but never one. Patties here are also made with 100% NZ beef with no additives, preservatives, fillers, or binders.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:37:15 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I refuse to believe that you're from NZ but have never seen someone 1 bite a cheeseburger.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:03 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd rather have white castle ones for that competition
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:35 on August 18, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
IIRC 10 is around a pound of meat. I did that (a pound of meat) once, it was okay. 3/4 pound? No problem if I'm hungry, but I sometimes don't have room for fries and a drink after.
Close tie between telemarketing manager and telemarketing assistant manager. Can't remember the final count but it certainly wasn't 100 each like they reckoned they could.
It's a Reddit/American thing. Everyone on here seems to assume whoever they're replying to is a 20-30yr old, white, male, American, unless otherwise specified haha.
It was telemarketing basically. As much as I enjoyed the people, I couldn't get past working 11am-9pm in a closed off office, trying to convince people to buy a product. Much happier in my job now doing admin/marketing.
How were they ripping people off? I never even said what the job was and what we were marketing. It was actually a really good, reasonably priced product that was beneficial to many homes and I stand by it to this day. You don't have to buy something just because a man on the phone has told you to so if they weren't happy with it they could have said no or returned it.
I back up my important files through Dropbox, so i don't really care about that. What would piss me off is having to redownload 1.5TB of games (and potentially a couple TB of movies and anime if they get my external HDD as well).
Nebresto ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:29:09 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hate being late to such great threads, but he sounds more like a leader
That's just a little bit slimy. Their problem isn't fixed, they haven't learned how to properly seek help, AND they've wasted money on a new thing they don't know how to use. GG.
Except their problem is fixed because they're no longer angry, they have sought help because they've spoken to the manager, and if they end up deciding to purchase the product that is well worth the money, a technician comes out free of charge and shows them how to use it. So yeah probably best to not make assumptions with limited information on what the business was even about.
Well they were unwilling and combative from the get go, they don't want help. They want to complain and yell. Most customers have no idea what they want and it is up to the salesman to tell them what is best for them.
Exactly this. Some of the people we were ringing just didn't want to hear what you had to say from the very first word just because you had rung them. The customer wants to feel like it was their choice to buy something, not that you'd rung up and tried to sell it to them.
The reason my boss loved these calls is because a lot of the time they were people being irrational as hell about it and once he actually calmed them down and explained to them what we were calling for, 99% of them would see the value in the product and want to buy it for not only their homes, but their beach homes/rentals/elderly parents homes, etc.
It's not slimy at all. It's business. Slimy would be repeatedly hassling them and putting shitty loopholes in the deal that ended up costing them or getting them a sub par product. If the customers weren't happy and didn't want to hear from us, they were put on a do not call list and never had to hear from us ever again.
Back in the early 90's we used to get calls from men who wouldn't talk to female tech support agents.
Which is of course the dumbest thing ever.
So we'd mess with them. Because fuck 'em, that's why.
So the agent would come to me and tell me the customer wouldn't speak to a woman. And I'd get a big smile and say are they still on the phone? Yes, he wants to talk to a man.
Hang on. I call one of the women on my team and ask if they can take a call. They say I'm busy, unless it's one of THOSE calls. At which point I'd smile and they'd get on. Pissing the guy off more. "But sir, I trained the tech support people..." He'd get angrier and ask for a male agent.
So she'd call the female escalation engineers, and ask if they could take over.
And we'd do that until they got upset enough that they hung up. That was a customer we didn't want. If they came to their senses, we put them back on with the original agent, who almost without fail would fix their problem professionally in under 3 minutes.
[deleted] ยท 143 points ยท Posted at 11:30:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly this isn't incredibly rare. I one had a guy refuse to talk to a woman so she transferred him to me. I then had to call her back to get the answer to his question. Some people are assholes.
sberrys ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 19:46:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you told him you had to check with HER to find out. lol
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:36:11 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just watched an episode of shark tank where the guy actually had a pretty good product, but instead of focusing on the female shark who wanted to partner with him (and give him 10x his asking amount!!!), he kept trying to convince the male sharks to reconsider him.
If I were her, I wouldn't have accepted him just from being so demeaning. But... he did have a good product and had it patented :(
Had similar happen when I worked uni IT. We had a lady on our front line and a guy called in and asked to be escalated. He talked to our manager and said he didn't want support from a lady. Manager said "well, I'll transfer you to the technician who is most skilled with the type of problem you're having" and sent him right back to her. She solved his issue right quick.
We had the happen at my work one, over in the Auto area. Guy doesnt like the answer an auto associate gave because shes a woman (she knows her shit) and demands to speak with a technician. She says sure, I'll grab the lead technician! The lead technician, another woman, come out, gives the guy the exact same answer, guy demands to speak to a manager. Lead tech says sure, I'll call over my direct manager. She comes over and says what can I help you with? Guy flips out, and just walks out of the store. The associate and tech fill the manager in, and they all share a laugh mixed with anger over sexism.
When the tech relays this story to me I tell her its a shame he didn't ask to speak to the store manager, because she would have been pissed to be called over for such a stupid reason.
odaeyss ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:37:31 on August 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HA! I've been there. I'm a guy, though, so it's a little.. different. Customer doesn't like an answer from my coworker, gets manager out, doesn't like her answer, blah blah temper tantrum, I wander by... hell, the one time all I said was literally "Oh.. yeah, they were correct. We can't do that, sorry about that."
Instead of being yelled at and demands to see a higher level of management, I got my goddamned hand shaken and thanked for my time. Manager was all "WTF just happened" and I was all "Group of 5 Arab dudes with thick accents? They're just misogynists, sweetcheeks, nothin to worry your pretty little head about." The last part may be embellished.
Kinda felt bad about it, but I mean.. it worked. Can't help shitty people, can just help them leave ASAP.
xdq ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 04:01:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We had a customer who were all Hasidic Jews who would either refuse to talk to the ladies in our office or just be plain rude to them.
I would often have to put them on speakerphone with our accounts person (f).
It was like a sitcom where one person wasn't talking to the other.
Customer: my account number is xxxx
Me: he said his account number is xxxx
Accounts: I heard what he said. Ok he's ยฃ50 in arrears.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:25 on August 18, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Go away S;(
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:22:52 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have no patience for that crap. I'd be like:
"I do not want to speak to any females."
"Okay, have a nice day." [click]
dragon34 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 01:41:32 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a guy who aggressively wanted to talk to the person in charge after speaking with one of my student employees (female) and not being happy with the answer we gave him (which was basically no we can't give you your college student child's password because FERPA)
So he was transferred to me (also female) and I told him exactly the same thing because it's the fucking law. But no, snowflake was too busy to call and reset the password they fucking forgot. He was still insisting on talking to someone in charge (My boss is also female) but I said very firmly, "Look, this is the law, no matter who you talk to the answer will be the same. Legally, we can only talk to your kid about their password, and no one who works here is going to risk their job so your kid doesn't have to take a reset my password break instead of a smoke break at their summer job"
He finally got it. I don't know if he was being an ass because I'm a chick or because he just hadn't figured out the umbilical cord should have been cut 18 years ago, but it really felt like he felt like I couldn't be "in charge" because I'm female.
Because some men feel that it's impossible for a woman to be competent in their job, or technical enough to support a complex product. Or in rarer cases, they're just mad that women are employed when they should be at home. You hear the barefoot and pregnant remark sometimes, and it's because some people think that's all a woman can do.
In the early 90's, our chauvinist callers generally were just the ones that didn't think they'd talk to a smart woman and that she was basically a secretary. I had math majors, computer science majors and engineers that were on the phones back then. Not a lot of tech jobs in the area, and tech support used to be the way in.
muthmaar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:24:05 on August 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's a whole lot of people who honestly think that women shouldn't leave the house other than to shop. That they're best suited for being at home raising children and not having any say in it.
muthmaar ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:55:57 on August 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a complaint I got in one of my sales/customer service jobs.
Management: There's a complaint about you.
Me: No way, people love me.
Management: She said you were condescending.
Me: Well...that does sound like me. I think I remember this woman. To be fair, if she didn't want me to sound condescending, she shouldn't have been so stupid.
Our contact at a banking customer of a former employer of mine made a colleague of mine cry with his misogynistic bullying. Consequently, that customer's support contract was suspended until he personally wrote a letter of apology to my colleague.
Good call, boss!
mdog95 ยท 870 points ยท Posted at 22:30:36 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I REFUSE TO USE MY BRAIN! STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME THINK!"
FUCK ME WITH A KNIFE, I KNOW. You just need to read the fucking words in front of you out loud. I'm not expecting you to understand what SSL error 46 means, I don't need you to know what cftmon.exe does, just READ. THE. FUCKING. TEXT.
"OK, well....what does the error message say...?" asked the tech, hesitantly.
"I'M NOT VERY TECH SAVVY" said the user, stabbing himself in the eyes with usb sticks and slamming his laptop closed on his eternally flaccid cock.
obligatory gold edit Gilded 10 months after the fact, thank you fellow sufferer of other people's stupidity.
I die a little every time... after going round and round a few minutes, user offers up, "oh, there was an error message, but I clicked OK to make it go away."
yessir! However it's almost triggers PTSD for me to read that sub too long. (no not really, but thanks nonetheless!)
d1sxeyes ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:26:18 on October 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It won't let me log in
Sorry to hear that, could you tell me what you're trying to log in to?
My email
Hmm, that's strange, you shouldn't normally need to log in to your email, could you describe what you're looking it?
It's blue with flowers on
Ah OK, and could you tell me what it says when you try to log in
It says my password is wrong
Could you read me the full error please?
It says password invalid
Well, there are a few different error messages that normally display, but I'm not familiar with that one... Could you just try to log in and read the words on the screen to me exactly please?
I've already done this and it doesn't work
I know, but if I don't ask you to do this then my boss will say I didn't try everything to help you so please just humour me.
OK, it says password expired, see I told you!
If you read the whole message, does it ask you click OK to change it?
Yes. Oh, now I can update it. Why do you guys make it so complicated just to check emails!
pull ticket history. user has been with the company 10 years. motherfucker, you've been an office worker for 10 years. how do you not know how to set a password by now?
p1-o2 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 23:17:31 on August 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I try not to judge, but I find myself filled with contempt for people at work with this problem. You use it every day for work. You would not have a job without it. How about LEARN THE BASICS.
Just... learn how to email, change passwords, write down error messages, change brightness on monitor, undo and ctrl+z, and windows explorer.
How CAN YOU CALL YOURSELF A COMPETENT HUMAN BEING IF YOU CAN'T USE THE CORNERSTONE TECHNOLOGY OF MODERN TIMES.
How CAN YOU CALL YOURSELF A COMPETENT HUMAN BEING IF YOU CAN'T USE THE CORNERSTONE TECHNOLOGY OF MODERN TIMES.
It's not even that. A competent human being could work in construction and never need a computer ever.
But when the person's job literally revolves around outlook, word, and excel.. you better fucking know how to the basic functions in all of those programs. IT is not here to train you on skills you said you had in order to get hired in the first place.
To be honest. If that person is so incompetent that they can't read an error message, I have little hope that even if you knew what error it was, that you would be able to get them to follow the directions to correct it.
Yeah, one of my users is actually blind. Uses his entire machine by voice command. It's fucking weird when I call him because he's alternating between talking to me and dragon.
"So you lied about your qualifications Y years ago? You do know you signed that in that case, the company is eligible for a refund of your salary, which is right now, $X,000, times Y, times 12?"
Laue ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:10:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm yet another CS student in college. Some of my groupmates are guilty of this. And boy do they get shit for it from some of our lecturers.
Then again, they are the same people who still haven't learned English by the age of 18.
Instead of asking them 'What does the error say try asking them to read you the error message. That way your asking them to perform an action instead of supply information.
One time I legitimately had an error on my work computer that was just completely empty. Like it just said "ERROR " and nothing else. Couldn't open any new programs, couldn't close anything.
I called tech support and I could just tell that they didn't believe me. The brief silence when they finally jumped in remotely was glorious. The fact that that computer never worked again and had to be replaced (which took two months), on the other hand, was not.
Public library. We were switching networks and getting new computers anyhow because the computers were ancient and our network and outsourced IT sucked. Our patron computers were actually down for just a little bit less than two months, and we had to spread the few laptops we own across the system.
It was Hell, but that's what happens when you have a treasurer who refuses to modernize on time.
diMario ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 04:39:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, when designing websites that is one of the design goals: avoid making the users think. That is, make the use of the website so intuitive and natural that people can't screw up. There's a book about it with an appropriate title:
At least that person is being honest. I hate the attitude, but I can work with it if it means getting them out of my office/ticket system.
My parents are the same way, but I've been slowly teaching them things against their will anyway.
DaHolk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:44:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If I was giving them a lecture worth of a certificate, I could even get behind that.
But on the one hand they are agrevated because it takes a while to solve their nontrivial problem, on the other they don't want to listen to the small explanations on "how to avoid sitting here again tomorrow".
They can't have it both ways. I'm not the herb-hermit in the bog, who has to magically whisk all your problems away instantly and get burned on the stake if it doesn't suit you.
Either they can get prissy for it not being instant, at which point they WILL have to listen if I tell them why it takes some time and how to avoid spending this time with me.
Ot they can shut up and wait till I am done.
The problem with those people is that it's not that they don't want to understand it, they also don't want to listen. You accept that they don't care and just want it to work, so you get straight to business, cut the personable side of the process, and go full on step-by-step ABC "do this to fix the problem."
Then they fucking hem and haw every step of the way. "Oh that wont fix it." "It must be the server." "Today is the last day for that Windows 10 thing, thats what messed it all up"
Bitch, you said you didn't care. Just shut up and do what I say needs to be done and let me fix it so we can both move on. There's no magic one click solution just because you don't care about it.
and they face "I don't want to understand any of this, I just want a job" - University student.
DaHolk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:50:27 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, While a lot os students are inertly disinterested, a huge chunk of that grows on the soil of bad lectures and pointless exams only designed to test parroting.
And profs not interested in using any type of modern equipment proficiently under the argument of "we didn't have these things back then either, it's so complicated and never does what I want it to" doesn't help either.
I have seen more "bad" profs with disinterested students, than really proficient teachers who don't get at least a significantly more interested audience.
Finally passed that Econ. exam not by understanding, but by comparison. I.e. "OK, that's $1400 this time, it used to be $1200 last term. 8% of that goes into the box to the right, $96 $112.
Then, take $1200 $1400 and add it to the result of part 1, which was $4800 , uh $5200 this time. $6400 go into box 2.
Now, take 15% off that amount and put the rest into box 3, that's $4930 $5440."
I put these figures in, and tried to solve the test the "real" way. I passed, but if I had tried to reason the exam, I would have failed.
TL;DR: Passed an exam because "that's the percentage that always goes into box #X", not via understanding the material.
When things dont go as expected many people panic, making it just worse. Ever seen one of those dashcam video with the woman screeching at 12kHz and 130dB? makes concentrating on evading debris much harder.
Please, JUST CALM THE FUCK DOWN.
bawzzz ยท 180 points ยท Posted at 01:41:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh where to begin...
Well just today.
Me: Okay let's just reboot the computer and when It comes back up well see if the Internet connection comes back
Her: OK how do I do that?
Me: on the bottom left there, there should be the circular start button, if u click on that, there should be a shut down butto--
Her: okay slow down....staaaart
Me: sorry, yah so click start, then beside the shut down button, there should be an arro--
Her: OK so I click shut down
Me: okay so well wait for that to shut down
computer shuts down
Me: OK so let's turn it back on
Her: I did
30 sec later
Me: still loading?
Her: nothing yet
Me: did u click the power button?
Long story short, she was clicking on the monitor power button, then the optical drive button to turn the computer on.
The issue I was trying to resolve should've taken the average person ~3 min to do....took her almost an hour.
[deleted] ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 02:52:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
cs76 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:19:35 on September 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So, I've always wondered. Is the captioning done by a computer or is there a person listening to what the 'non hearing impaired person' is saying and typing it out in real time for the 'hearing impaired person' on the other end to read?
Most captioning places use voice recognition software, but it doesn't directly transcribe the voice of the person/business taking the call. The captioner is the one who speaks to the voice recognition software by echoing the voice of the person on the phone, in a monotone / understandable-to-the-software voice. But they have a keyboard as a backup.
This always amazes me as a nurse. You need almost no computer knowledge to be a nurse, but the people who are tech-challenged waste hours charting and doing basic stuff that takes most of us minutes. It's so inefficient. I have taught so many smart people really basic things like keyboard shortcuts, basic excel spreadsheet formatting, and how to find programs under "Programs" in the start menu. And watching some people type drives me bonkers. So much backspacing over whole sentences to fix a single misspelled word and proceeding to type the same thing back out with two fingers. But they manage to take care of their patients pretty well, they just don't know what most of the keyboard buttons do.
bawzzz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:13:08 on September 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just the other day I dealt with an elderly client over the phone who sounded to be in his 80's. His job description was "Registered Nurse II". Almost seems like he has never used a computer in his life. He's never heard of the key "colon" (:), he doesnt know what Internet Explorer is, he couldn't follow the simplest instructions, took him almost 10 minutes to get a site which I repeatedly spelled out for him etc... Just amazed that someone with the intellect to become a registered nurse can be so illiterate in the most basic computer functions. With the way he was mumbling and not following instructions, I'm concerned about him giving out medical advice or even sticking a needle in someone's veins.
I work at a tech support desk (too specific to go into) and I can relate. It's at this point I usually stick a finger gun in my mouth and blow my brains out.
The most popular posts are just poorly written masturbatory fiction.
Upvoted loyally by a readership of sycophants who creepily obsess over, and fellate the egos of, the authors of said terrible fiction.
And if you dare to point out that the shitty story makes no fucking sense, the story reads like a "bestof" post from /r/thathappened, or that the crappy author clearly doesn't even know what they're talking about ... the sycophants will turn on you like a pop-star's swarm of 14 year old twitter followers.
I don't think most of the readers even work in IT, I can't imagine real IT folks could read those shitty fiction stories without all the gross inaccuracies getting under their skin.
Which is why unified download folders, adblockers, and a variety of sites GLUED to the Favorites / w/e bar is mandatory. Sure, they can figure it out, but it would save you the hassle.
In reading all the copypasta hilarity stemming from this post, I had a realization...
This call was not about you and it was not about getting help. This person did not want help. This was about winning an argument with a third person (whom you never spoke with).
There was probably also a person standing right next to your caller hearing only half the conversation, and from that person's perspective, the call sounds more believable (if not reasonable).
Caller: "I'm not able to log into the website!"
Tech: ...
Caller: "SIR, I am NOT a computer person so I don't know."
Tech: ...
Caller: "I don't know what that is!"
Tech: ...
Caller: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A COMPUTER PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"
Caller: "See Margret! I tried and they just won't help! I'm not calling them again."
This was about winning an argument, not getting tech support.
Once? Once? Oh sweet summer child, I get that at least once a day. Yes, in 2016.
qitjch ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:44:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had something similar happen while working IT at university.
Lady called in complaining that her name was showing up on certain websites when she Googled herself. Keep in mind, she was referring to a site listed on like the 5th page of Google.
She went on for nearly 25 minutes about how she wanted this information removed and that she knew we could do it, but that we were just refusing to help her.
Everyone that's done phone support has gotten SOME variation of this call.
I remember someone who was incredibly PO'd because they'd deleted a shortcut and were 100% sure they'd deleted the program. Ten minutes of trying to explain what a pointer is was met with that same reply, almost verbatim.
Finally I used the analogy of someone using a card catalog in a library to explain what the pointer was, and then saying that deleting the shortcut was like tearing up one of the author cards. It didn't destroy the original book, you just had to create a new 'card.'
Greetings! I am from the future, when your comment has taken over the internet. Unfortunately I could not make it far enough back to stop you. I asked the technician to set the dial further back, but he replied that he was not a time travel person, and proceeded to hang up on me.
Good, let them hang up. Desktop computers have been around since the 80s and there are thousands of books and courses to learn the basics. If they can be bothered learning, FUCK 'EM.
Computer illiterate users are one thing but script-dependent tech support annoy me more than my mother ever could.
Please don't take it personally OP, just what I got reminded of.
You explain a problem. You attach error codes. You suggest a possible reason for it happening. And all you get back is a generic
update graphics driver.
Completely uninstall and re-install the program.
Restart the computer.
There should be an abbreviation which you can cut-off techsupport with to skip their script. Something that will make clear that I have done all the things already.
It's really the worst with problems concerning internet connections. Those people on the phone have been traumatized by some crazy people.
Morkum ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:07:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a fellow tech support person I have had this exact same call :/ Like really, if you can't even handle figuring out the picture you click on....good grief. What's even crazier is a lot of the people we had calling into us did business with our company sometimes making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year running their own little thing.
...and they don't know what a browser is. WTF.
Along with that, so many people using internet explorer (which had issues with some elements on our webpage because IE is crap) and when i'd recommend they use a more modern browser like Firefox or Google Chrome they'd flip out about Google watching them and how they refuse to use anything by them. Then they'd go Google something.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:08:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Truly, this is the quintessential tech support call.
While working for Bellsouth's first aDSL rollout I had similar.
I.e. Mistreated or bashed for asking simple problem solve questions.
I tip my hat to you, for I too have the thousand yard stare, so to speak.
Me: "Memory, how can I help you?"
Them: "I'm not able to remember the meme!"
Me: "Okay what subculture are you thinking of when you try to remember?"
Them: "SIR, I am NOT a meme person so I don't know."
Me: "Do you know which site you were using?"
Them: "I don't know what that is!"
Me: "Okay, when you want to reminisce, do you think of a green text, or a sad grizzly, orโ"
Them: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A MEME PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"
So does that mean they can't read? Error messages are for people who understand computers and for people who don't to relay those messages to people who do.
I get about one call a day like that. I actually like those calls because I don't have to help the stupid person after they hang up. Then when their boss calls my boss to complain my boss takes my side and the stupid person gets in trouble.
svmk1987 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:01:54 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's illiteracy, and there's deliberate ignorance.
hogger85 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:13:28 on November 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you sure it wasn't them saying they needed the service without using the computer. Say it was a airline booking site, they wanted to book a plane ticket they had seen advertised with "go to airline.com to book" but they couldn't log on to the website as they don't have a computer. They don't want to log onto the website they want plane tickets.
Nope, we do get those "can you look this up for me? I'm too lazy to do it myself" requests pretty frequently which we always just do because it's easier, this time she was specifically trying to log into the website.
I've posted this story here before, I don't generally go to /r/talesfromtechsupport because I feel like it would just get depressing reading about that kind of stuff all the time.
Man: I am not able to have sex!
Doctor: Alright, what's the problem you are facing?
Man: SIR, I have never had sex before so I don't know
Doctor: Uh OK well there should be a dick on you that you got to stick in the vagina!
Man: I don't know what that is!
Doctor: Well whom are you trying to have sex with? Boy, Girl?
Man: SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A SEX PERSON AND YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP
Honestly, it sounds like you solved their problem which they were too embarrassed to appropriately ask for help about. And having got the information they wanted, had to end the call in a way that made sense.
Your experiences in life have made me laugh so hard I spat coffee all over my keyboard and ruined like half of it. I went down to IT to get a new one, just so I could type this and gild you.
Cheers.
Jeran ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
maybe they were too stupid to communicate that they didn't have a computer.
After picturing this and all the following copypastas as being the same person, I'm starting to imagine they have a very difficult life due to their own willful incompetence.
Like persons that in order to delete a program they delete the icon.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, like the time my mother tried to back up all her programs onto a disk. she ended up with a disk full of shortcuts that of course went nowhere in the new machine.
To be fair, this was the same logic I applied when I asked my boyfriend why they never talk about the B and C league in the NBA and he had to explain that D stands for developmental (after he stopped laughing at me).
My old roommate thought that to send an email to a domain (e.g. sample@gmail.com), it had to come from the same domain. Hotmail could only send to hotmail, gmail could only send to gmail, etc.
Guy had 6+ email accounts that he used on a regular basis.
I'm not a coder. I tried, and was stupendously mediocre, to be generous. My older brother however, well the dude learned to code and it was like Mozart learning the piano. He's very skilled, and tried to teach me some stuff in C, and C++. Flash forward a few years:
Some code chode at a party (maybe 2003ish) was trying to tell us that he was working on a revolutionary new image storage format that used fractals to have a lossless compression that left huge photos with ridiculously tiny file sizes. I went to an art school so no one pressed him on the tech, they were all just impressed that this might be a thing we could use to get more photos on a zip disk. So I start probing about how he calculates a fractal and incorporates it into representing a raster image, much less completely recreate one.
Not to my surprise, he had no details and would dodge the question. The winner was him insisting that he programs in C+.
"You mean c++?" I say
"No. There's C, C+, and C++" he replies "how could they make c++ with a c+?"
Anyone who knows even a little C, or C++ knows that ++ is how you increment a variable by one, ergo C++ means C+1.
The dude never had a career in computer science. I came across software like Genuine Fractals many years later which showed me not that he was onto something, but that he likely read an article in wired or scientific American or something that made him think he could pass himself off as being smart
When gmail was still in beta I called into tech support which asked for my email address. The rep was incredulous and slowly repeated. "Sir did you say @shemale.com?"
Railboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is strangely logical. Not sure I would classify this as computer illiteracy, to be honest.
There is "ymail", which is Yahoo's version of gmail. I suppose if facebook made a mail server that could be a good name. Someone has to have the fmail.com domain and rights somewhere.
"I've heard they're all the way up to g-mail by now, and I'm still using e-mail! I'm falling behind! I have to see if I can get into the beta for h-mail!"
Edit: Changed thought mid-sentence. Used the wrong they're/their.
My dad has repeatedly done this to me because Yahoo has been his homepage since 1999 and every few months they will "revamp" their layout and I immediately get hit with "Yahoo changed things and I don't like it, please change it back." I CAN'T DO THAT DAD I DON'T WORK FOR YAHOO. Then he begrudgingly gets used to it only for them to change something again and we do it all over again. I hate you, Yahoo. Your website sucks and your constant changing of shit brings extremely unnecessary stress into my life.
dramboxf ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 17:27:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
REALLY need to migrate him to Gmail or something. Yahoo is one of the biggest sources of malware infection, and their address book security is laughable. Can't count the number of my clients (I own a tech support business) that went from 3-5 infections/month to zero just by getting them off Yahoo.
To be fair, it's not Yahoo specifically, but their advertisers. Lots of cross-browser injection malware from that site, at least in my experience.
Silly? You must have never dealt with someone that a) knows nothing about technology/computers/the internet, b) realizes they don't know anything about it, and c) refuses to change/stop what they're doing in order to prevent the problems they're having.
Eventually, it was far easier for me to learn about linux and how to intall/use it, and make it look like windows, then to constantly clean up my dad's computer from all the viruses/malware/whatever he got from watching porn all the time. Took the better part of a weekend, but saved me a lot of time and headache in the long run. If I knew where to start, I'd absolutely write an extension for a browser just to get out of having idiotic conversations on why you can't do X with Y and get Z to happen.
sigh
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:34:52 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Well I stand corrected :) At least she was willing to learn-ish! Dad still won't try and learn anything different - if it's not exactly as how he remembered Windows it's not "right."
And thanks for the links! Looks like I have a busy night ahead of me, ha!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:08:56 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Well for the record I thought you were joking, so no harm no foul :)
This is amazing and even though I only understand about 50% of it, I know this is a huge amount of information. I've already saved it and thank you so much for taking the time to write all that out. I will definitely be putting it to use and hopefully I won't fall too far down the rabbit hole. If/when I get it up and running I'll take some screenshots and send them to you!
And seriously, don't sweat the first bit. We all have crappy days.
Fucking A. My dad has his page set to the Comcast news page (that they automatically set when you sign up for their service) which would be fine, if they still used Comcast. They don't. They moved and it's not even offered in their area. But no, when everything was said and done I had a 45min FaceTime of having to walk him through how to "change the internet back to the right one".
Your dad sounds like kind of a dick, who lashes out at people when he encounters something he doesn't understand.
[deleted] ยท 214 points ยท Posted at 03:43:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
DINGDINGDING! He's a dry drunk that "likes" to be generally abrasive so he can mope around wallowing in self pity when people don't really want to be around him.
The technological ineptness is just the icing on the cake.
Sounds like my dad, 'cept he was never dry. I remember trying to explain things to him about the computer as a 14-year-old nerdling, when he was lit up and just itching to be angry about something. Sorry, dude. It gets easier once you move out.
[deleted] ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 04:04:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I walk away if he gets pissy with me when I'm trying to help him. He's not physically or verbally abusive, just not a fun person to be around. He does the same self centered dickish shit as when he was drinking but now it's coupled with an AA instilled high and mighty sense of moral superiority (not shitting on AA in general, just not at all a fan of what my dad got out of it) that's just exhausting to deal with. Believe it or not I preferred him not dry since at least then he was occasionally chill and fun to be around. Now he's either abrasive or ridiculously easily offended and mopey.
I could write essays on the weird bullshit he does and the "logic" he uses to justify it, holy shit.
One of those things where the only way to win is to refuse to play, as shitty as it is to have to seriously limit our relationship.
I'm enlisting in the USMC within the next year and know everything will work out. Hope your life is working out decently as well and I'm sorry you had to deal with similar bullshit.
Sounds like you have a pretty good outlook on things. I basically went the not-to-play route, and largely checked out of the relationship for the last few years before he died ("car accident" after a knock-down-drag-out with his cunt of a third wife (13ya, I was 23). I honestly don't really regret that part, but I do regret my younger sister having to put up with a few more years of bullshit without me around. She's a shrink Now specializing in ACOAs, so go-figure. I guess she turned out better than me, so I'm grateful for that. Now, there was never abuse of anything, but being over at his place (especially after sundown, 'cause that was Miller Time) had by that point become largely untenable for me, so once I had a car, I basically stopped going over there (parents were split up and lived close to each other). So, yeah, he's been gone for 13 years now, and I still have some demons to work on (addictive personality, anyone? Fortunately, I don't drink much at all, 1-2/month), but all in all, Things are ok. I miss him, but only the sober part. I think I'm entitled to pick and choose, at this point.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:11:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is really awesome so my sister and I are, fortunately, largely unaffected by his illness. I'm happy your sister made it out pretty good though, and happy for you/proud of you for confronting your own demons. Shit ain't easy.
I think I'm entitled to pick and choose, at this point.
This is essentially what I'm living by regarding him. He hasn't been so horrible to me that I want to cut him off completely but at the same time I cannot and will not sacrifice my own sanity in an attempt to deal with 100% of him, bullshit and all. I think it's better this way, for both myself and him.
Again, you sound like you're approaching things from a pretty sane place. That, or I think so because you're doing similarly to what I did. As I said/intimated, it was a soft cutoff, and we were never at a place I would even call estranged (we'd have lunch every few weeks when I was in town, etc.), I just got to a point where I didn't really want a day-to-day relationship with the man. That choice was 85% because of the drinking, and 15% his cunt wife. Who knows what would've happened later, as he died too soon for later to happen. On the upside, I haven't had to speak to my cunt stepmother since I railed her out for misspelling my sister's name in my dad's obituary. After that, it was lawyers-only; her choice, not mine, though I was just fine with that.
Don't get sucked down into his shit. That's what alcoholics do, wet or dry. Hang in there man. Once you're on your own, it's a whole other existence.
He does the same self centered dickish shit as when he was drinking but now it's coupled with an AA instilled high and mighty sense of moral superiority
This is my father in a fucking nutshell.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:39:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Children of weirdly condescending dry drunks unite!
Not a lot of people understand it. A number think I'm a piece of shit for not being totally in love with AA for helping him get sober or whatever.
I honestly just want him to go see a psychiatrist regularly so he can deal with his fucked up childhood and get a better understanding of what healthy love looks like. As is he takes every any critique or criticism ("use a plate for your sandwich please", "don't leave used tobacco just chillin on the coffee table please", etc) as "fuck you you piece of shit I hate you and everything you are". Beyond frustrating, especially since he's a really cool dude when he's not in a dumb mood.
Honestly, part of me really hates AA. I understand it's helped a lot of people, and I think that's spectacular. But my dad met my step mom in AA, and I've met many of their AA friends, and a lot of them have that holier-than-thou mentality. I feel like they just swapped one addiction for another. You know, if they leave AA, even if they've been dry for decades, they are ostracized? The AA community will just assume that they're "enabling their addiction" if they don't go to meetings anymore.
I don't know about your dad, but mine started drinking heavily when he was thirteen, and didn't stop until he was in his forties. I don't know if this is commonplace among dry alcoholics, but when my dad went dry, it was like he was starting where he left off: at thirteen years old. He definitely was over sensitive to a lot, but more than anything he loves to play the victim. He's always been a narcissist, but it's almost doubled since he went dry. Everything is an affront to his character and every situation is about him. I'm glad your dad is cool sometimes. I wish mine was.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:02:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with literally everything you said. Fits to a T. Even showed my mom and she was a bit weirded out by how accurate it is but ultimately relieved that her struggles aren't unique.
I actually do like the idea behind the Serenity Prayer but my dads interpretation of it means he categorizes the dickish, narcissistic things he does as "things he cannot change". It is incredibly frustrating. I could write forever about my theories as to why he thinks and acts the way he does based on the way his parents treated him as a child and the things he went through but it ultimately doesn't matter. I can't change him. I also refuse to walk on eggshells enabling his bullshit. The only way to win is to not play, as much as it sucks to have to cut him out of a lot of the aspects of my life.
I hope at some point he realizes the effort it would take to address the dozen or so "character flaws" he has that make him extremely hard to be around is worth being able to have normal, healthy, caring relationships with family and friends and whatnot but I'm definitely not counting on it. Some people might call it pessimistic but I simply cannot rely on him or anyone changing their behavior for sake of my own sanity and general well being. I can't live a half life waiting for people to change so things get better.
I fall in line with your assessments. The swapping one addiction for another thing is -completely- valid in one context, but then the other side of it is obviously that one of those things will kill you fast, and the other will just kill everyone around you slowly. It's a tough trade off to ask anyone to make.
Honestly, it was good to read about your experiences here in this thread about computer illiteracy, it seems recovering alcoholic parents in AA and computer illiteracy have some sort of correlation. Thanks for your shares, I feel slightly better about the next time I get a call because his macbook 'memory' is full again.
omg this is so my dad. He sponsors people from the program, and they come over and he is like a father to them, he cares for them, but he is inconceivably irate over nonsense all the time. Constantly makes mistakes and asks for help, but god forbid you provide a bit of preventative advice with your help, you're being an asshole. It isn't that you'd maybe want to save both of you some time down the road, it's that you hate him personally or don't know how to interact with other people, which is ironic given the source.
All the NA/AA psuedoscience jibberish has locked him into believing he is a mental health expert. He took online coaching classes and got a certificate and now he is A#1 Mr.Unbearable when it comes to anything at all. There is a motivation he thinks he understands that he is going to explain to you, and if you think it is silly or wrong, you're just misguided and need to see a shrink, which is what my shrink thinks he needs to do.
He was abused by an abusive alcoholic father. His father raped his sister, beat his mother, was generally a shitty guy, and I give my dad credit for being even half way decent after that childhood, but after a while the history wears thin as an excuse and the person never changing becomes irritating. I love him, but I wish he would get real help instead of the nonsense he's tied himself up in.
Wow, hearing you describe you AA 'recovered' dad is like listening to my own thoughts about my 14 years clean AA/NA dad. Uncanny, really.
Back when Netflix was having all the really public interconnect problems and hacks on PSN causing outages, my dad was 100% confident that I was somehow sabotaging his Netflix to ruin his day. He could not understand why hackers would want to do that to innocent PS3 owners just trying to watch some Netflix, so it had to be my fault.
Or how he uses a Mac and I use a PC, and he is always asking me for help with his Mac, but I don't use a Mac, I use a PC, and if I used a Mac every day, without question I'd have answers, but since I don't, I don't, and he takes that to mean that I don't want to help him. Really huge similarity on the 'taking ridiculously easy offense' category.
He also struggled with his sexuality and came out as gay, and I'm totally accepting of it, beyond accepting, actually, I think it's great that he is himself and living the life he wants. He is convinced that I'm a homophobe. He can't take any kinds of jokes, even jokes by gay comedians he hasn't heard before, the first thing he hears is an attack.
It is frankly exhausting, and I keep my distance as you do for what I assume are the same reasons. It's just easier not to have him be an active part of my life. Man, I feel like maybe I should be seeking out some support group for NA/AA parents that have somehow been ruined by the programs. At least they're alive?
If he's in AA he's definitely heard the term "dry drunk" he just might never have thought to apply it to himself, also if he's in AA he has at least an inkling of a desire to be a better person, and he might really value honesty. If you tell him this stuff in an honest way and how it makes you feel and that you're joining the USMC partly to escape being around it, it might seriously change his attitude and could change his entire life. I could be totally wrong though, I am just a complete stranger giving you serious life advise after reading on paragraph about your dad after all.
I try to do the same thing, except I really prefer when people don't want to be around me. I fucked up though, because my wife is more than charming enough to make up for my bullshit, so it never works. I just want to be alone, god damnit.
Qvar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:12 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lawyer here, it's always my fault when the client does something on their own volition (ie divorcing) and they no longer can do something else that benefited them in their previous situation.
My dad did this for awhile. Seeing as I am a developer by profession, he assumed I controlled how Google looked. I don't know man, if I did. I wouldn't be living at home still.
At the time it happened, you could have logged into the cached version of the site. Useless now, but for 2-3 days, the old version of the site still exists in Google's cache.
Yeah, Chase really did a fuck up job on their new website, didn't they?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Google used to have a portion of their website called igoogle.com. You could load it up with addable web-widgets like your gmail, weather, website news you liked, etc. I set it as my mom's homepage and she loved it.
They closed that portion of their website about 5 years ago. When they did, my mom get really, really angry at me about. Like i was the one shutting it down. Could not conceive of the fact that the site would simply be discontinued by google.
Man, Chase updated their phone app and stopped supporting anything less than iOS 8, not more than a week after I taught my mom how to use the app on her iPhone 4s. I'm usually the one who helps her with tech stuff, and I had to try to explain to her that there was simply nothing I could do to fix it, while she was very disappointed. Luckily she had a little extra money at the time and decided to finally upgrade to a new phone after 5 years.
ni_nini ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When Windows 8 came out my dad's IT guy upgraded his laptop from XP 2003. My dad screamed and fumed until the guy came back and was ordered to put it back.
How is he at email? Because Chase has sent me no less than 5 emails over the course of several weeks detailing all the big website changes, tutorials, guides, countdowns, etc. I have been getting annoyed, but I guess I see why they do it now.
l3ri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:04 on September 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I talked to a person just the other day who was pissed off and wanted to cancel their account because another website was popping up ads. I explained that if they weren't on our website then the pop ups wouldn't stop just because they cancelled their account. They still cancelled. Sigh
G4RYblu ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nice username.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my former students was trying to print out her assignment. She opened up a new doc, clicked on 'save as', found her actual assignment and proceeded to save over it.
[deleted] ยท 5013 points ยท Posted at 00:18:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Three for this particular set of notes, actually. I am taking a board exam that includes two written submissions and an oral portion so I can't lose afford to lose any of it.
Don't forget to have colo redundancy (IMO mirrors if you have the space, though I'm not running anything enterprise-tier on my end so I just have a raidz1 server), a remote backup, and a cloud backup.
At minimum VCS that shit (with something actually good, like git or hg).
Storage capacity. This is fairly self-explanatory.
Certain features are money-gated. I don't have to pay money to get all of the features of git or hg.
Dropbox is not a VCs-first application - it doesn't do the things that good VCS can do.
For example, versioning is purely linear, which is nowhere near as good as, say, git's branching nature. (Although I dunno how Dropbox's versioning works when sharing projects with other people, since I explicitly don't use Dropbox as a VCS.)
Or to use git as an example again, every commit to a git project is actually a new branch (which is one of the main features of git i.e. that it's a distributed VCS, so maybe it's somewhat unfair to compare to Dropbox's lack of this feature, since not all VCS are distributed VCS).
You can only Dropbox things in your Dropbox directory; compare most VCS that let you create arbitrary repos.
You don't necessarily want all of your backups on all of your machines all of the time.
Mostly for me, it's the capacity and file location points that are major sticklers. If I used Dropbox for all my redundancy and backups, I'd be soon out of space and my file organization would be awful because everything would be in the Dropbox directory on my machine, which isn't necessarily the place I want my projects to be. With git (or hg, or whatever) I use only exactly the space I need to use for my projects, and my projects can be pretty much anywhere on any of my machine(s).
e: If you're willing to drop a bit of money on storage, then IMO Amazon AWS (or EC2 S3) + some form of VCS beats out Dropbox. Dropbox is convenient, but it isn't really a competitive solution.
e: Or of course, a paid BitBucket/Github/whatever account will probably let you host private repos. I always forget that's an option, heh.
I tend to use a combination of a number of options. For particularly important files I have:
A backup on an external hard drive
A backup on Dropbox
A backup on Bitbucket
The problem is that while Git is great. For the general public (i.e. the "I can't find Word" population), Dropbox is a good solution. Most people have very few important files, and zero backup strategy.
The number of people who I have met, who have single copies of thousands of photos on their laptop, boggles my mind. I've had a large number of people lose such files and then complain when they lose their laptop, drop it or the hard drive fails. Modern computers are very resilient, but what most people don't realise is that hard drives in particular are quite prone to failure. I've had a number die on me, but I've always had a backup available.
In short, my point is, having some remote backup solutions for most people is the best solution.
For people like us, well, we know the value of our data and how to protect it properly. Hell, I learnt in primary school how dumb it was to store documents on a Floppy Drive, expecting them to always be available.
In short, my point is, having some remote backup solutions for most people is the best solution.
What? Why aim for mediocrity? Lots of backup for everyone trumps some back up for not everyone.
I mean, if other people want to be unsafe with their valuables then that's their choice, but if they're going to go out of their way to get protection, may as well as get good protection. And in the context of redundancy and backups, there's plenty of good protection, often at essentially no cost. Why settle for less?
Again, just because people elect to be stupid and ignorant does not mean they should not be told how to do things properly and to the best of their interests, or that they should not be made aware of good solutions to their problems, or that good solutions should not be provided.
Ignorance is not a sin, obstinately clinging to it in the face of reality is. And that sort of sin is self-punishing.
I don't like the "Oh but I'm not a computer person" group as much as the next guy. Try and communicate anything to them though and they wander off into space. I totally agree that ignorance is no excuse. However, these people simply do not listen.
Yes, in reality, educating everyone on the best solution would be the ideal path to take. However, 90% of the people you educate on this subject will either not listen, or fall back to their old ways very quickly.
Look at where we are with password security right now. Everyone knows that their passwords are terrible, but relatively few are resolving the issue. There is a small subset of the population who are utilizing tools like Dashlane and Lastpass, but the vast majority have simple repeated passwords. It's not simply a matter of what's best, it's about finding a compromise that we can actually get people to use.
It's either we get people to use a simple service like Dropbox, or nothing. Those who genuinely care, and put in an effort will set up an appropriate backup plan, but those in the old mind set will never change. I've dealt with people like this for years, and there is no changing them.
Yes, and that's their problem. If they want to go with a suboptimal solution that leads to future suffering, that does not somehow magically invalidate optimal solutions; it just means they get to suffer the fruits of their labor.
Then that's ignorant peoples' problems, not the problem of optimal solutions.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 09:46:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dropbox is convenient, but it isn't really a competitive solution.
Convenience makes it a competitive solution for people who value convenience.
XCVGVCX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:05 on October 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So much this. An imperfect solution that you actually use is a thousand times better than a perfect one that you don't. Dropbox or even (shudder) OneDrive is a great solution for people who just want some degree of safety for their files.
Git is great for code but it's not designed to be something you just stick your documents into. If you even know what AWS is, you're probably leagues beyond the average computer user and already have some complex solution that works for you but is completely inexplicable to anyone else.
Sure, but that's not what I was talking about, was it? I was talking about actually preserving the integrity of your data, not making you think it was preserved.
I didn't say that. You can develop better solutions, but unless you can appeal to the broader market they are only going to appeal to a relatively speaking, small niche group.
Yes, and? At what point at all was I talking about marketability? I'm talking about actually good solutions (with good bad/worst-case scenario coverage) to the problem of data loss/loss of integrity, not selling a product (for real currency or not - it's not like git or hg cost money).
Because marketability is crucial to the success of such a system. If you create the greatest backup software in the world but only a few people understand how to use it, then it's not that great is it?
An optimal solution in my eyes would be one that balances integrity with user experience, so those who aren't tech savvy can use them. There must be a compromise somewhere.
It is great at its job of backup. That is literally the only thing being discussed here (or rather, it was the only thing I was discussing).
And the clauses "greatest backup software in the world" and "but only a few people understand how to use it" are pretty much mutually exclusive. "If something is a mixed shade of black and white, then it isn't really black at all, is it?" Uh, of course not.
Yeah, seems like. If I understand you (or the other poster) correctly, it seems like you're beholden to this idea of designing products for the lowest common denominator and that that should be the end goal of all products - maximum market size, even if that means compromising functionality.
I... don't give a shit about people who can't rise to the challenge of using better tools to make their lives less shitty. If someone is given a spread of tools and told "thing A is the best for the job, but it requires some learning. Thing B isn't, but doesn't" and they choose B, then that's their choice. Thing A is still better than Thing B.
Like, to analogize...
Person: Oh man, hearing about people getting their shit jacked made me go check to see if my shit's still unjacked!
Me: There's a solution to that - put your shit in a secure deposit box at a bank.
You: Or they could just use a safe?
Me: lol
You: What do you mean by that?
Me: Safes aren't as good as banks. Safes cost more money, don't have all the security features (for example, the safe could just be taken), etc. They're certainly more convenient, but not as good as banks.
You: Sure, people like us know that banks are better than safes for keeping your shit safe, but have you seen how most people treat their shit? Why go to the trouble of telling them about banks? Having decent safes for most people is the best solution.
Me: What? How is poor security for most people in any way better than having great security for all people? Safes are more convenient, sure, but that doesn't make them better.
Another person: Convenience is better for the people who want convenience.
Me: That wasn't what I was talking about, but yes.
Other person: Safes are more convenient than banks therefore people are going to use safes more often than they use banks.
Me: That isn't my point. Banks are more secure and better than safes in all the ways that matter to not getting your shit jacked. If people want to use safes, and then their shit gets jacked, then that's on them. But banks are actually better and more secure.
You: But most people are stupid and aren't going to use banks because of the paperwork and the inconvenience of having to go to the bank. They'll just use safes.
Me: What stupid people do is stupid people's problem. Banks are better than safes at being secure.
You: You could have the greatest bank in the world but if it's too exclusive then it isn't really the greatest solution to the problem of getting great security for all people, is it?
Me: Uh, yes? Obviously?
e: Although the analogy falls apart if you consider that safes and banks are designed with security in mind, while Dropbox was not purpose-designed as a scaling VCS solution like most actual scalable VCS.
You're missing the point here. In this analogy the bank is clearly the better option.
In reality, people would refuse to use the bank as it isn't as convenient for them. That is not an opinion, that is a fact. The majority of people will gravitate towards convenience.
My suggestion is not that we should discourage people from using banks, or stop improving their security or encourage them to use safes.
Instead:
Continue making banks stronger for those that are prepared to use them
Encourage everyone to use these superior options
Provide a less secure (i.e. a safe) alternative, which still provides adequate functionality for most people
Ensure that the lowest common denominator can at least operate the most basic tier of security.
To continue the analogy, what we are looking at here is 3 options:
(1) Leave your valuables on your lawn -> (2) Put them in a safe -> (3) Put them in the bank
Most people are at 1. We need them to be at 2, but in an ideal world we would have everyone at 3. This is not an ideal world. Unless everyone sees the value (value is subjective) in option 3 then they'll continue using the lesser options.
We just need to make sure that this lowest tier provides suitable service.
Then the issue is that we are talking past each other/about different things. You've been saying "we should improve safes so people are more willing to use them" when I had said "banks are the better option."
(Or more accurately, poster said "my shit's on the lawn!"; I come in and say "you should put your shit in the bank"; you come in and ask "why use banks when safes are probably good enough?" and somehow that led to this.)
I can't imagine how low the income has to be for someone old enough to write papers yet not enough to know the difference between the word "save" and the word "print".
If this had just been a one-time act of carelessness, then yes it would have been suspicious. But I am 110 percent sure this was not intentional. Trust me, other teachers and I were shocked that this student was able to find the school each day.
zdav1s ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:35:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite thing was to corrupt the file. I don't exactly remember how to do it, but every time I was running behind in an assignment, I would corrupt the file and submit it. Professor would email me back a couple days later after I had the chance to complete it.
The real key is to type save a word doc named as your paper. Then to open this up in notepad and delete random shit then save and send to your teacher. The file won't open it will just throw an error and you can get more time
In the old days of printed papers, back in high school, I remember sitting in the lunch room watching an older kid who was struggling with the workload (nice kid, not too bright) meticulously pour and press coffee in between the sheets of an assignment the last 5 of which were lorem ipsum word salad. It was super flagrant. There were about five teachers who noticed him doing this... but yeah. Nobody stopped him or told on him for some reason. We just didn't have that type of school I guess.
I did it once. So tired that I couldn't write my essay and ending up typing a fatal combination of keys which turned into a shortcut to destruction.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 06:20:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Assignments were to be submitted in Word docs. I opened the docs, went to properties and saw the editing time. out of 20 submissions, 3 had editing time of > 2 hours, all the rest were a few minutes. I did not even check the answers. I gave full marks to the three people who did the work, and 0 to everyone else.
that seem very unreasonable just saying, they could have just saved a copy. I know a couple of my work that I spent a lot of time on only have a couple minutes of editing time because of word being weird.
I agree with /u/internet001215, as a student during college I would often work on the paper and then save it with another name, such as "paper-final." This would be the version I submitted and the properties would only show limited editing. Or how about the student that starts the page, writes one line of gibberish, waits two hours before saving, and turns it in. Would that student get full credit?
/u/jaigoga I am under the impression that you are a teacher, as a teacher myself I find it odd that you would assign work and then not check the quality or for understanding. Sounds like nothing more than busy work. I firmly believe that busy work causes many problems in education, too much busy work causes students to think that assignments don't have to be done correctly and they see no benefit from completing the assignment.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the point is that none of the students that day protested saying 'we drafted in a different doc and copy pasted to this new doc'. on the contrary they were conflicted between being impressed with my evaluation skills and impressed with my bluffing.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 07:15:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sit down grasshoper and listen to the wisdom of the elders.
"Computer Data does not exist until it is stored in three separate logical locations and at least two physical locations"
Now meditate on this newly found wisdom Grasshoper.
3 copies
2 different types of media
1 copy off-site
amanitus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:06 on October 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's how I do it. I save the file in question to my Google Drive folder. That way it is automatically backed up to the cloud. Then I copy it to my external hard drive as well.
If I'm being extra careful, I put a copy on Dropbox as well.
amanitus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:41 on October 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This way if I ever had a presentation in college, I'd have the copy on my flash drive and a couple copies in the cloud. If all the failed, there'd also be the copy I turned in to the professor via email. I never had to resort to that though.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:10:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Years ago, when the diskette was still the main portable media, a friend if mine was an admin at a university.
Since he was at a humanities department, there were lots of young women running to him just before exams with cried for help, because the diskette's filesystem failed, and so the assignment was gone.
Oh man, this reminds me of a friend of mine in college who was asked to proofread a mutual friend of ours' twenty page paper. He was reading it on her laptop, somehow hit select all, deleted everything, then saved it in a panic. The girl who wrote the paper was able to recover about eight pages of the paper but we never let the proofreader live that one down.
plop0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:58 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was supposed to do voluntary work at a music festival back in 2011(you get free entry and food when you're not on the clock).
They accidentally saved over one half of all the schedules since both people in charge named the file the exact same thing, so my hours got erased - meaning, no work until they fixed it. I got free entry and food for two full days before they fixed it.
FYI anyone who may do this in the future: open the folder in Windows Explorer, right-click in the white space, click Properties, gonto Previous Versions, choose the save point closest to when you deleted.
This is too good. thats my dad in a nut shell. He has saved over word templates so many times i have hidden a second folder of templates. Not sure how many time you can show someone something before giving up. But im getting close.
I had a colleague who just couldn't use Explorer or Finder on a Mac and only used the open and save file browsers to locate files - she lost more than a few scripts that way
I have a coworker who had been doing paperwork on the computer for years at this point, and managed to save every report for every different building we do over the same report. Years of different reports all gone because he didn't understand save as.
Fucking Dropbox did this to my MSc dissertation four days before hand in, I was literally about to submit.
I opened up my project, and there was the title and one sentence and not the previous 8k words. What it had done was it had seen a mismatch between versions and just gone "well fuck, clearly the drop box one from 2 months ago is correct, let's put that on the machine" and overwritten it.
After hours of unpleasantnees I found out that Dropbox saves previous versions, I had to scroll back over 170 versions to find my finished document (the previous 170 where all this 1kb file of tears).
I did this at work a couple of years ago, and I'm pretty savvy.
In my defense, I was using in-house software and the only difference was clicking save vs. load, which were right next to each other. Everything else was identical.
We also had "cancel checkout" next to "save checkout" in another application with no reverts possible or warning popups.
Another application had "clear all" next to "copy" in the context menu, with no warning popup and no "undo" function. smh.
joker38 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The software guys we have are actually very good, but we have about 1/4 the number we need. So if it's not catastrophically broken, it goes "on the list." Thank you very much Management.
I've heard a PhD student who was not satisfied with one of his paper, hit Ctrl+A, Del. Start over.
But this is just mind blown
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:24 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know... I've played dumb before to get out of assignments. Saved my PowerPoint projects in all kids of incompatible formats and every day I'd come in and... "Damn! This one won't work either!!". Eventually the teacher felt bad for me and gave me a B for all my effort. The file I kept saving was a blank PowerPoint with one slide.
My grandma would print all of their emails and save them in a folder "just in case." I guess if you're super paranoid about bank stuff or whatever, but she printed literally everything including all those "forward if you love Jesus" and silly shit like that
A secretary at a company I interned at got fired for stuff like that. She'd receive tons of those "forward for Jesus" emails and printed them all out at work. After multiple times leaving them in the printer and multiple warnings, she was let go. I'm sure other things were involved too, like her using the postage printing machine for all her personal mail.
This was about 10 years ago. The latest and greatest room-sized printer from HP. It was probably more than 4 ppm but it was agonizingly slow compared to B&W. And incredibly expensive.
Yeah, it kind of stops being a cute old people thing when they become too stubborn to be a functioning employee because they refuse to adapt.
I know a guy who works at a place where they still have to buy rolls of adding machine paper because the old farts at his job refuse to use the calculator on their computer.
I'd tell them to get with the times or get looking for a new job.
tah4349 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:38:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a 35 year old accountant, and I 10-key the shit out of things. Yes, I can use Excel proficiently, but a 10-key has a totally different function and it's perfect for certain jobs and quick calcs without having to navigate away from where you are/open new window/whatevs. It also functions differently from a calculator - I don't know how many times I've had to stop people from trying to do math on my 10-key because they don't understand that they don't work the same.
Danni293 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:19:53 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can you explain? I'm intrigued.
tah4349 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:43:57 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At which part? Why 10-keys are different than calculators?
Basically a 10-key works like this. You've got your numbers and the + and - signs (plus some other things, but that's not important for this). You hit the +/- to tell it what to do with the number you just typed in, AFTER you've typed the number. So the keying would go like
300+ (Money IN)
400- (Money OUT)
200+ (Money IN) to get a total of 100 Money IN. You think about the signs after you input the number, and it's more of an IN/OUT thought process.
If you input those same numbers into a calculator where you're putting the sign BEFORE the number you want it too apply to, so 300+400-200, you get a total of 500. Because the negative is applying to the 200 (AFTER the sign, how a calculator would read it, how a regular math problem would be written) rather than to the number BEFORE the sign (400) like a 10-key would read it. Hence why when people try to use a 10-key like a calculator, they get the wrong answer.
Danni293 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:13:30 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I see. That's cool. So in order to do normal math you'd have to flip and negate the signs it seems.
XJ305 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:34:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ummm adding machines are still very common and function very differently from a standard calculator. Many people of all ages who do accounting still use them.
function very differently from a standard calculator
could you explain this?
XJ305 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:38:34 on October 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A financial/adding calculator ties an operator to every operand. So instead of number + number = total, you have number+ number+ = total. Or a better example would be these inputs isolated by parentheses: (10.00-) (15.00+) (40.00+) (17.00-) = 28.00.
There are other built in functions on them but, they are designed to be quick and reduce error as clicking enter/total twice does not repeat the last action and keeps the total the same. There are calculators that you can download that do the same task however a lot of businesses like to keep the printed record of what was input.
My poor grandma was trying to learn about computers. I asked her to email me something once and she insisted she couldn't because it was a holiday. Apparently she thought that it was like the mail system and that emails wouldn't be delivered on a holiday. She was 84 at the time so she gets a pass.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:32:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm I'll print this one just in case I want to give my card details to this Nigerian prince.
I'm in IT and I asked an old lady to send me a mail with the error message.
She did, but not in the way I imagined. She took a photo of her computer screen, went to a camera shop to get it printed, and sent it in a letter to my office. I had it framed by my desk until I quit.
They just like things physical! In my office I'm the youngest one, when I talk about needing to keep track of something I always scan it and file it on our district drive, but to them keeping track of it is printing it and filing it.
In fact, before email, people in offices photocopied that stuff and handed it around. My mom used to bring home good ones for me to read.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:50:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try telling an old person who's 5 year old computer has just died with an out-of-date (or never setup/used) backup and a POP email account some douche set up for them back in the day that there's no benefit in printing emails.
Every time I explain IMAP to an old person it's like they've won Canasta that week
josefx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I tend to print anything that contains new account information, I had one harddrive die in my life and it was enough to make a mess of things.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Backups are a thing for that exact reason.
josefx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:21:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A paper copy is a form of backup. It helps that the amount of actually important information I have on my system fits well into a physical folder and is easy to reenter manually. Also avoids the problem of having a lightning strike fry the hardware - thankfully only lost several modems and routers to that.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:42:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lightning strike
Everything touching your computer should be plugged into a surge protector for that exact reason. Either way, a TB drive used for backup and then physically removed from the machine will work just fine, and it'll only cost $50. If paper backups work fine, then that's awesome, but for me I have several operating systems with a few hundred gigs that I need to back up =P
Also avoids the problem of having a lightning strike fry the hardware - thankfully only lost several modems and routers to that.
Offsite backups, man. Crashplan, Carbonite, etc. Even if your house burns down and all your devices explode, you still have a backup copy of your data. By all means keep a paper copy (more redundancy never hurts), but it's so easy now to get an offsite automatic backup service. The crashplan free version can do automatic backups to a computer at someone else's house, so if you pair up with a friend/relative you won't even have to pay a monthly fee.
PWAERL ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:02:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom's has a decades old diary, containing every phone number she has ever had to record. We insisted on getting her a smart phone some years ago. But even today if she wants to call someone, she opens her diary, finds the number and punches it in. We are like "Mom, there is no need to do that". But she says, "Don't worry, I am fine".
Losing that diary would be a disaster, so I have copies.
KBubble ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:43:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ARGH!! Someone I work with does this with LITERALLY every email. If I send her an email asking her to do something she usually prints out two copies, one for her and one to bring over to my desk with the work once she's finished it. I sent you that email! I don't need to see a copy of it! If I wanted to see it I would just look in my sent items!! The worst part was that for about 3 months the printer on our floor has been broken, which means every time she wants to print something, she has to go to another floor. She probably gets around 30 emails a day, and it takes around 3 minutes to go to the printer on the floor above (and no, she wouldn't wait until she had a few and do them at the same time, she would do them immediately when they came in) which meant she probably spends about 1.5 hours of her 6 hour day going to and from the printer for NO REASON. She complains incessantly about how inconvenient it is that the printer is broken because she's 'forced' to keep going to the other printer. She's a temp and needless to say I don't think she'll be here for long.
True, true. I'm a fan of using as little paper as possible so I guess it just irks me when people just start throwing paper around like it's nothing, Idk. Ain't even my business but it's still gonna bug me
It's not like a daily thing I bet. One filing cabinet of paper for all her stuff, max? And I doubt she throws any away. A lot of offices use more than that in a few weeks.
One of my co-workers did that. I like to think of the mental vaults from the latest season of Sherlock.
She remembers ALL of her emails and knows where each and every one of them are. But she uses the physical version to reinforce the mental filing that she does.
Grandma's probably don't do the same thing, but it's a useful mnemonic device if used correctly.
At least your grandma is sort of computer literate. My grandma only has a phone which makes it worse. I taught her about Siri and she literally could not figure out that you just hold the button and talk into your phone I think my grandmother might be an idiot
2059FF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I noticed that some older people have a hard time thinking of a picture of a button on a touch screen as a button. They are used to physical buttons always staying in the same place. Having part of a screen previously used for displaying a picture suddenly becoming active and clickable is jarring to them. The recent trend of making buttons look more abstract does not help things.
In 1994 when our department finally got lotus notes for email our network guy printed every single email he got and kept them in a binder. I aksed him about it and he said it was "just in case". I swear I'm not making that up.
To be fair my hotmail account wiped completely a few weeks ago for seemingly no reason, and could only recover about ten emails. I lost a bunch of reasonably important emails from my university and landlord, plus a few order confirmations and tracking information. Not fun.
Saving them in a folder isnt that bad of an idea. My e-mail provider deletes all emails that are older than 2 years by default. I think the premium service disables that feature.
EDIT: Wait, did you mean an actual physical folder?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I've considered doing this for important shit like any kind of receipt or appointment documentation etc. Just because my email gets so much stuff in it that it can be hard to find something important when you need it sometimes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Downvoted
jezdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandpa had facebook for a while, he used to screenshot the facebook news feed a lage at a time and print it off, in full color, for my grandma to read. Kinda awesome really.
dfnkt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a filter setup in gmail that if subject contains Fwd: or Forward it auto deletes. If someone really wants me to read something and they can't be bothered to clear up the title and remove all the:
+====++++++++
Out of the top of the email then I'm not wasting my time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
BUT WHAT IF JESUS RETURNS AND ISN"T SURE ABOUT WHETHER I LOVE HIM OR NOT!?
"See all these forwards, Jesus!"
"Yeah, but Sue, you were a racist bigot"
"And here's one with you dying on a cross"
"You literally want to murder Obama"
"And now you're riding on a donkey"
"Are you fucking listening to me!?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The company that I work for has a small team of around 5 people who print pdfs and rescan them to move the files to a different location. We tried telling them that they're wasting a lot of time and toner, but no one wants to listen. If you look at the amount of time wasted and the money spent on toner you'll be amazed just how dumb corporate can be at times.
We have tried, but they are afraid of the changes. To be fair I simplified their job a bit, but that is essentially what they are doing. The only change that would happen is they would need to rename folders occasionally since we use a 3rd party scanning software to create and name folders.
To make matters worse 3 of these users print to personal HP printers which I think the cost per page is something around 2c-6c a page, despite having multiple large production size Ricoh printers under a no charge service contract that print at a fraction of a penny per page. To top it off, all 5 of them use personal scanners since it 'must be on their desk' that cost around $800 each meanwhile our Ricoh printer/scanners scan much faster and again are under a service contract without charge. Meanwhile one of our scanners broke a few weeks ago and we had to pony up another $800. Did I mention my company has been downsizing?
The field techs we have had servicing our printers have been all sorts of odd balls. From Lazy, drunks, overweight to the point of disability, and just flat out nuts.
Ricoh (and to be fair, it's competitors) simply doesn't pay enough to attract good help. It's also extremely difficult to get fired. I know of at least one incident where an employee punched his supervisor in the face and he was simply reassigned to another site. The only reason I worked there was because I graduated college in 2010, during the recession when no one was hiring full time without 10 years of experience.
Came here to say that I used to work with a guy who would spend half of his days printing and rescanning hundred-page documents for years without anyone saying a word.
I think a dedicated team of 5 people beats that story.
At my last job it was routine to print things or to scan them in. I tried so hard to break that habit but the staff refused to learn anything new and the folks in charge didn't want to care.
Shit, the corporate job I had made this mandatory. You couldn't just save the damn reports directly, you needed to print them then scan them to save them, then folder the physical.
Then send the scanned reports to another office where they print them again.
Eventually forms were getting so deteriorated because rather than reprint the original file, people were scanning blanks, then scanning the new blanks, until the pages were faded and blurry.
I'm a reporter, and one of the towns I cover always does this. Or they'll type up a document in Word, print it out, then email me a scanned PDF of the printout.
Once they sent me a lengthy release they wanted in the paper. I said, no way in hell am I typing this out when it's clearly already a Word doc. I called and asked them to send me the original so I could just copy and paste it. They didn't know how ti do it. I had to talk then through how to attach a Word document to an email. This is the supervisor to a town of 60,000 people.
This blows my mind. How can someone successfully attach an image file to an email, but not a text file? You have to be a special kind of stupid to not be able to do both considering they are the same thing.
But you can straight up save documents directly as PDF format
That feature is not a global standard, but depends entirely on your software.
Anyway, I'm not saying it's bright, just that they may be doing something totally roundabout for a legitimate reason because they don't know a better solution.
I'm working with IT on a script for a training on information security.
This is how I get changes.
I email the word doc
It lady prints it
Marks it up with a red pen
Scans the document in black and white, with the pages in the wrong order, and some are upside down
Emails PDF
I asked her during a meeting why she did it this way, and let her know if she preferred hard copy she could just leave it on my desk. She said she didn't have a preference, so I asked her to please use track changes in word... She had no idea what I was taking about.
This woman is an IT manager for a fortune 250 company.
Person takes a screen shot of the issue. Takes a picture of the screenshot (on her phone), uploads the picture to her computer, saves it, reformats it, sends it to me in a word document.
nixzero ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:12:23 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a place that had a similar process, and it was in document preservation!
We frequently had to take a huge docs, number them, and provide new numbered prints or scans.
Their old way was SO WASTEFUL! They hand-labeled the pages, and it was so easy to skip a number and bork the whole project. And you couldn't put labels on the originals, nor could you provide docs with labels, they had to be "burned in" so their process was:
1) Copy originals
2) Number copies with labels by hand
3) Check that no pages are out of sequence and fix accordingly.
4) Scan numbered copies.
5) Export and print.
My method was a bit faster.
1) Scan docs
2) Number electronically
3) Print and export.
Their process to convert an email to a PDF was to print and scan it, and sometimes they had to be numbered...
So- print emails, label them, check them, scan them, print them again. So many murdered trees...
This is like when someone sent me a screenshot of a typed list (that I wanted to copy and paste). I asked if she could send along the text file instead. She changed the extension of the .png to .doc and emailed me that.... I typed the damn list myself.
I've had to do that because the workplace didn't allow you to save to pdf.
The scanner scanned to pdf so it was kind of the only option at the time.
Berjj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:14:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked 1st line tech support I saw something similar. The user in question was dealing with an error message. She took a printscreen which she then pasted in a word doc, printed the doc, scanned it (At which point it appears in their email inbox as an attachment) and proceeded to forward it to service desk, wondering what was causing the error.
Conclusion: She didn't know how to add attachments to emails.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:34:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When buying the hotel/motel that my girlfriend and I own and operate, we asked the previous owner for her occupancy numbers, monthly, for the previous three years (a super common thing for innkeepers to keep, and a major selling point). She gave us such complaints and moans, which confused us, since despite her computer illiteracy she had an all digital, online reservation system.
Turns out she'd generate a two page pdf per month. Instead of hitting save, then emailing those, she hit print, then scanned the two black and white text pages in using 300dpi color photo settings, and save as bmp's. 36 months worth. 72+ oversized bitmaps.
Oh and the lack of tech knowledge meant she had a 500Kbps up/down line (cheapest twc offers in the mountains, still overpriced) so I can only imagine it took her dust encrusted compaq Presario days to upload them, regardless of how unwieldy the damn bmps were for our purposes.
Also, after we bought the place, she insisted several times that she had to bring her computer by (again, an ancient desktop) so she could check her email. Looked at me like I was telling her she could breathe underwater when I told her that's not how the internet works in the least
Had a boss like this. He would print every email and document he received to read and file. There were 4 of us in the office and he ordered a printer that would have served 200 users easily. He also had every receipt he'd ever been given since he left college... He was nearly 60.
Kid you not, husband's work does this ALL the time. It is literally part of their company's filling system. Reasoning: it's the way we've always done it.
Azzizzi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a guy ask me to scan a three-page document, but "Make sure you scan it double-sided." I look at it and all the backs are blank. I scan all three pages and email it to him. He prints it. It prints one-sided. He comes back and tells me I should have scanned it two-sided. I could not convince him that he needed to print it two-sided, not scan it two-sided.
I have an employee who will print an attachment, scan it, and email that (with the doc-date-time filename now, not the nice descriptive filename the attachment had) to his co-workers with no subject and no explanation.
I have a co-worker that does this with everything, including 40 page pension commencement packets. Kills me every time because she complains how tedious it is -__-
Ex IT Helpdesk worker here - you'd be surprised how many people do this but with screenshots. At least once a week we would have someone print off a screenshot, scan the screenshot and then email the scanned image to us when we asked them to send screenshots of an error message.
Two stories. 1) Famous octogenarian professor writes emails, sends them, prints them, and puts them in students' mailboxes with a signature. 2) Colleague writes homework solutions, prints them, then walks the printed copy to the library so a librarian can scan them and post them online.
I sometimes print emails as a bitter employee with only one screen to work with. See how much money you save by not buying me a second monitor, I dare you.
My grandma once got an email forward she thought was funny and that my mom would like, so she printed it out and faxed it to her.
Qender ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a summer job carrying paper from the printers to peoples desks at an insurance company.
Later they would carry these big print outs back to the printer room, and fax them.
I tried to tell them that they could send a fax directly from the computer using a service, and didn't need to print it first, to save time.
They told me they needed to do it this way to use a special service they had that made a PDF of the fax of the printouts, so they could send that PDF to themselves, to e-mail the PDFs to clients.
My step dad is in his 50s. Every time he sees an interesting article online about finances and money management he prints it off and puts it in folder to give to me and my partner the next time he sees us.
This is literally a process in my office. Blows my god damned mind.
They have the excuse of wanting a physical copy for backup since it is pay information, but still. We are supposed to be moving paperless for fucks sake. They could just let us send the file and stop printing the backup sooner. >.> Fuckers!
Please no, I actually got that today. End User got an error, put the full message in the text box and a screenshot in a word document. The word document got printed out, scanned back in, and emailed to us.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You win
666666t ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I get asked to fix this on a fairly regular basis. A group will need to review or edit a doc and all they received was something awful like a low-res PDF of a crooked scan of a faxed printout. Once in a while OCR manages most of it, but I get to do a lot of retyping. Somehow it's easier to pay me to do this than get the authors to email the original.
Loki-L ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is normal.
If I had a penny for every time I saw someone use that particular workflow, I would have lots of pennies.
It usually happens because a user memorizes the particular steps to get from A to B without understanding exactly wht they are doing.
They know how the steps to send a printed document per mail involves scanning it and they know the steps to get s printed document from a word file involves printing it, so the 'obvious' solution to wanting to send a word document is to combine the two processes.
It is all just rote memorization without understanding what they are doing.
The real problem is that IT-workers often don't actually see the problem. They don't memorize particular workflows but the abstract ideas of what they are trying to do.
A it-illiterate worker will memorize that they have to click on the third symbol from the left if they want to print something, but a IT literate worker will just memorize that they have to print somehow. When a program changes the UI after an update the IT-competent person will only experience a small amount of disorientation as the print icon my have moved or changed pictures and there may be a new or changed dialogue popping up, but that is okay because it falls under the umbrella of the concept of printing. The IT-illiterate person who rote memorized all the steps will be lost.
The two will have trouble seeing eye to eye about that because for one the destination remains unchanged and you just have to walk in the general direction of it to reach it while for the other who memorized which floor tiles to step on to get there everything has changed.
User can get quite ingenuous with what they are doing. The actual things they do are black boxes to them. They only know what goes in and what goes out, but they can combine them in unexpected and hilarious ways that nobody else would ever think of.
This is how you end up with a ticket that contain a screenshot as an attachment that is actually a word file with an image pasted into it and with the image in extreme cases being black and white and grainy because at some point during its life-cycle it went though a faxmachine.
whtml ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That kind of reminds me of a publisher i used to do summer jobs at. Could have replaced an entire floor with a computer literate person.
My ex had her boss sending her a mail with a doc file attached and asked her to rename the file and send it back so it will have the new name in the attachment.
Our HR department does this and it drives me crazy. Rather than sending me a link to a form to post on the website they send me a scanned copy of the form that they printed out from the link.
Thankfully my boss agrees with me that it is completely amateurish and has my back when I refuse to post it until they send a proper link.
that is more common as you think. in my company we have the light version of adobe acrobat reader. you can rotate documents if they are scanned up side down - but you cannot save them rotated.
This happened to me at work for 2 weeks. Then he'd come in with the printed email, put it on my desk, and say, "I just emailed this to you, thought you'd want a copy."... I kindly explained to the sender how to forward things :)
A guy at work would write everything up in Word, print it, then scan it to himself in PDF format then bin the print... I installed Acrobat Standard for him and also showed him how to print to PDF. I only noticed as I was sat near the printer for the day and he was up and down about 10x doing the same thing.
I don't know, that seems quite computer literate to me. Scanners are no joke. Sounds more like they were just ignorant of the forward function.
2bass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My former boss would do this but with websites he wanted to share. Instead of emailing a link, he'd print the main page of the website, one page only, scan it and email it to himself, then attach it in a new email to myself/my coworker. It was mindboggling.
I wonder if this was the loan department at CitiBank. They asked me for a voided check so that I could just subscribe to auto-pay (they don't let you just do that online for some reason even though every other company lets you just use the same info that's on the bottom of the check for it). I sent them a voided check. Said VOID in big letters on it along with the account and routing number at the bottom. They sent me a photo copy of the check along with a letter to "Sorry we are not able to process your request, please send us a voided check." The next time they called that a payment was late I went full nuclear while apologizing because I knew it wasn't the agent's fault but it's still complete fucking utter bullshit. I just told them to expect late payments and they ended up giving me basically an infinite grace period because I refuse to get more voided checks when they're just going to ignore me.
My boss does that sort of - he prints a contract then scans it and send it to me. To this day I cannot get him to stop and just send me the email or attach it to a new email
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This will probably get lost amidst your other inboxes, but I've seen this happen in real life too. I thought it was something that we just joked about, not something that would happen in my lifetime..
joshi38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is similar to people photocopying documents to fax because they don't want to fax their "only copy".
cakemix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in customer service. One customer received an email from me, forwarded it to himself (same email address) with his reply, printed it, and mailed it to me. In the MAIL.
How the fuck does someone know how to do that but doesn't know what the Forward button is...
LPK1990 ยท 4507 points ยท Posted at 00:28:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was buying a DVD for my grandma off Amazon. She doesn't have the faintest idea what Amazon even is, so I've always said that if she lets me know what DVD she wants I'll buy it from my account for her.
Anyway, we get to check out and I let her know how much it is. She gets the money out of her bag, and then she starts measuring the size of the coins next to the USB and charging ports on the side of my laptop. After about 10 seconds of wondering what she was doing, she informs me she's looking for which hole to post the money into.
She legit thought you paid for items online by posting the money into one of the computer ports.
Probably a habit from the days of pay-as-you-go TVs. They actually had a coin slot in them, and a service man would come by monthly to collect the quarters.
EDIT : To everyone asking me if this is real... Yes, yes it is. I posted an article a couple comments down. Read and learn.
EDIT2: Woohoo, this comment pushed me over 20k comment karma. I should throw a party.
By the way, article here if you're interested. Though I think this article is in context of it being tested in the US, where it never caught on.
LPK1990 ยท 972 points ยท Posted at 03:06:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're absolutely right! I never realised this was a thing once upon a time, but she did have a TV exactly like that when my mom and her siblings were all children.
I'm aware of all the other places I can watch shows, but I pay so I can watch a specific TV program, including commercials that have a theme. I could watch the shows that they air anywhere, but the program is kinda like a community, and it just doesn't feel the same without all the little cool stuff they do. Thanks though!
oh, well, in this case, makes perfect sense. i too have many fond memories of that dude in the space suit selecting the next episode of Dragonball Z or Samurai Jack, good times, makes perfect sense.
Right? I definitely recommend it if you can find a way to watch (I use Sling, much cheaper than cable). The line-up is really good right now. Starts at 11:30 EST.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is also coin operated pay-as-you go electricity in some Scottish apartments. I guess they didnt use to trust Scots with managing their own money. ....
I live in the UK and had a rented TV from 88-94. Couple of quid a week and the guy would empty monthly when we moved house he just came and removed TV. It was also a good saving device, was something like ยฃ10p/m to rent but if there was any extra money you got it back :)
TheKoi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
and people used to pay for electricity that way too.mostly in apartment buildings.
This is a thing in the UK too where due to, well, just being such a shit fuck you can't be trusted to pay the TV licence, you have a box you top up with ยฃ1 coins to watch TV and every so often some official persons I'll empty it.
Yup this is real, we used to have this when I was a kid. It's how my mum and dad paid for their TV. Box on the top you put pound coins in, the pound gave you a preset amount of hours to watch the TV, then every month a guy comes and empties it.
trikxxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:23 on September 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I realize this is a month old & thus there is good chance u won't even read this...When I was in h.s. (1958), one of our 'safe' places to cut classes (safe from truant officers) was the Greyhound station. It was fairly large, 2 stories, had a cafeteria/diner, and in the main passenger area aboult half of the seats had those t.v.s - I think it was like a quarter/15 min. At the time we (I) thought it was the coolest thing & spent my lunch money many times to watch who knows what. You're the only person I have come across that knows about these, & I kinda got a bit excited. btw this was in the US, SoCal, specifically.
Initially theatres, but I've heard the term used to refer to other things that weren't full theatres, but that's of debate. Disneyland used to have something called a nickelodeon that was like a player piano but with a lot more to it, along the lines of some of the stuff here: http://www.revelstokenickelodeon.com/museum.html
My dad has a similar one: we live in Pennsylvania, my uncle moved to Kentucky about a decade ago. Once per year, we drive down to visit him and his family. Last year, while visiting the Kentucky crowd, my dad decides to tell my uncle about this awesome new store that just opened in Pennsylvania, where you can pick out items on your phone and they deliver them to your house. It's called Amazon!
We informed him that
Amazon is available nationwide
You order on their website, not over the phone
Amazon has been around for over a decade
[deleted] ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 10:02:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's "worldwide" in that there are a bunch of different amazon sites. It is isn't really worldwide as every single one many of them pale in comparison to amazon US.
Really? What makes US amazon so much better? <intrigued>
706017 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 14:41:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would guess that there are more products available
basyin ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 14:47:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mostly the fact that there is just so much more variety on Amazon US, and unless you are looking for something obscure (and sometimes even if you are) chances are it qualifies for 2 day shipping, sometimes even 1 day. You won't really notice it though if you've never had it though because for the most part you don't need that extra choice. I moved from the US to Germany and while Amazon here is still great, it just isn't the same. Doesn't stop anyone here though from thinking it's the bees knees.
Also 2 hour alcohol delivery can be a life saver if you're throwing a party, but that is only available in limited regions.
Hmm I suppose. I get the impression that the German and UK ones are better than many of the smaller ones, and these are the ones I've used.
I never really used next day shipping before we had Prime and never really found the 2-3 day "super saver delivery" to be a problem. In any case, you could always pay extra for next day if you wanted it.
well I have amazon prime (canada) - compared to amazon (prime) US
US gets Video n demand
US gets discounts on pre-order games
US gets Music streaming
US gets same day shipping for select items/markets
I'm not 100% sure about the kindle rentals, but I've never looked into it.
Then you get down to the most important thing - the product selection. Amazon US has a MUCH wider array of products - and after converting currencies, they tend to be between 10% and 50% LESS than the CA counterpart.
I'm pretty sure that we have all of these things in Germany too. Possibly UK but I left before all the streaming became mainstream, so I don't really know.
More selection definitely makes sense. But I wouldn't really call that paling into insignificance.
I'm pretty sure that we have all of these things in Germany too.
yeah looks like .de has the benefits I listed, except the 20% off games.
who said "insignificance"? I said it pales in comparison to the US service (which it does) - not that it was a bad or insignificant. I still buy crap all the time off of amazon
Thanks for posting, was thinking about getting amazon prime in Canada. Do you still get the amazon video streaming service at least? (i want it since the "new" top gear will be on it)
From experience, the Mexico version is very limited. The Books section is quite big and the price is really good for importing things, but clothing, toys, tech, they are all lacking a lot of stuff from the amazon US store or are quite expensive to import.
Some of the amazon US providers will ship to Mexico and other countries, but the delivery prices increases hugely depending on the item. what costs 5 bucks to deliver to any state ( or is free with a high enough purchase) in the US becomes 20-50 dollars to deliver to Mexico, like we were all the way down in Asia and not the next door country...
Well Amazon in the Netherlands is just an online e-bookstore, that is it.
So compare that to what you can get in the USA on Amazon....
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's "worldwide" in that there are a bunch of different amazon sites.
TIL, there are different amazon sites. I never use amazon as I hugely prefer my countries equivalent. It used to be the case that you could order from the US site and get international delivery, it only took ages for things to arrive.
We have bol.com which may or may not live up to the standards of Amazon US. It offers next day delivery on most products and it has almost all products I can think off.
I โค the elderly. They are the only ones for whom I truly had patience when I did isp tech support. They have so much fear about technology and who they can trust to help them that they end up winging it and getting even more confused.
Poor adorable old folks. They earned the right to not be afraid. Good on the decent people who help them out with this stuff instead of taking advantage.
When the telegraph became widely available back in the 1800s there was a prevailing wonder and exuberance about science and confidence that it would solve all humanity's problems.
The time involved in making technology like the telegraph indistinguishable from magic was basically zero among many people...) Famously many people went to the telegraph office with some object, wanting to teleport it to someone far away. The one I remember was a lady wanted to send hot sausages to her son/grandson serving overseas.
That one in particular might be apocryphal but it's not hard to believe.
LPK1990 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:03:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She's not able to set up a DVD player out of the box, but she can somewhat confidently put a DVD in and set the TV to the correct output. It has taken quite a bit of going over it though! :) I suspect a big help has been that VHS players and DVD players have a similar way of operating, and the differences between them are things that can be explained in layman terms. The same can't really be said for the difference between shopping at a physical location and shopping online, so it all just completely goes over her head.
Unfortunately, helping her learn how to use a computer is a complete non-starter, as she doesn't have an internet connection or a computer device at her house and is happy without it. There's lots of people in the family who would be happy to take all the time she needs to get used to using one, but the interest just isn't there which is fair enough.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:38:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh jesus...oh god...I just had a flash back...(Ha!) My mother...the first time we watched a DVD on our brand new DVD player. When the movie was over she walked over to the machine and searched for the rewind button!
As a kid I had an Apple IIc, my sister, younger and not too bright.... used to think the 5.25" diskette drives were garages for matchbox cars. facepalm
Luckily tose things were built like tanks and if you fished the cars out everything worked just fine.
Eon-Man ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had something similar happen to me with a friend of mine, but he was my age. We were buying tickets to a concert on my desktop, and he got to the "payment" screen. Dude got out his wallet, pulled some bills out, and proceeded to try and jam some money into my old floppy drive.
The "clowns that eat ping pong balls and drop them into a random number slot" stand was unattended. I was around 5 and took the money I had been given and shoved it into the mouth of the clown.
The carnie wasn't too pleased about me disabling one of his clowns but did still let me play.
Luhood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, what else? I mean fine, post-order bills and all, but unless you know things about credit-card payments and such its actually a pretty simple mistake to make. I mean you have to pay somehow!
It's funny to me that as advanced as we are in some ways with tech, old people's expectations are in their own way far more advanced than what we've got. I can literally talk to my house and make it do shit but still gotta send packages on a planes, trains, and automobiles.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me of last christmas. My dad wanted to get my daughter a present but wanted me to pick it out along with a present for myself.
I go to his house, pull up amazon, find daughters present, put it in the cart, pull up coats (my present) and hear my dad say "you can get coats on there too?!?!"
I asked him what he thought amazon was and he said computers and toys. I told him you can even order groceries on amazon and he was amazed. He's only 56 and has the latest smartphones and computers and figures out stuff like Google maps, but can't figure out amazon or how to use things like Facebook and Hulu. It's very confusing.
Well, to be fair, I did something like this when I was a wee lad. When I was 9 years old and the Wii was first coming out, I saw the Wii points cards that were sale and saw the door on the front of the Wii (you know, the door that covers the SD card slot and the sync button) and had convinced myself that you stick the cards in there and the Wii would eat them and give you the points. I was, needless to say, very disappointed when I got my hands on the system.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma (93 bless her) can't even turn on her DVD player, but is at least aware of the basics of how online shopping works.
Amazon is just like any other mail order catalogue service, which have been around the better part of a century. What did your gran used to do if she wanted something from the Sears book?
That's how I thought buying stuff on the Internet worked when I was 6. The only thing I couldn't figure out is which hole the stuff you ordered was supposed to come from.
plop0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:43 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a college. Teachers are not always the most tech-savvy of individuals, but while I was helping one of them once I noticed that she was using the mouse with the 'tail'... pointed towards her.
I was so WTF'd trying to get my head around how this had come about and why it didn't occur to her to turn it around (the buttons were under her palm and she had to curl her fingers in to press them, let alone the fact that with that arrangement left is right and down is up) that I couldn't find the words to bring it up.
4_jacks ยท 801 points ยท Posted at 19:47:50 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's all about that inverted Y axis! Can't live without it!
The only time I invert my Y-axis is when games have me fly a plane, because it feels more natural to do that. All other times, I have it set to regular.
Ezmar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's already getting misused, though. People are missing the basic point which is to have the support guy's questions become MORE basic as the conversation goes on.
This one goes from "which direction are you pulling the stick" to "what kind of plane". It should really be the other way around, despite the fact that the original final question was "what browser".
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 02:39:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you fly your whole body moves.
MyIQis76 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 03:42:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Confusion
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:28:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine yourself standing on a ball. If you want to look down, you walk forward. Up, you walk backward.
We don't do this when walking, but flying is like riding on a big ball. I have actually heard flying a helicopter described exactly like this, in fact, by the instructor.
r4r4me ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:34:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend plays console games inverted and says he imagines the thumb stick stuck to the back of the character's head.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:43:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's not intuitive because that's how plane controls work; both planes and games control that way because it's intuitive to the way you move in flight
Because intuition suggest an innate sense, something that we've evolved to have. We've never flown, so we can't have 'flying intuition'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That would be a fine argument, were that a correct definition of intuitive. It isn't.
When you fly down, your body tips forward, hence you push the stick forward. When you fly up you tip back, hence you pull the stick back. We are aware, even while playing a video game, that that's would would be happening to us were we flying, without consciously thinking about it, so we design our controls in the way that makes sense.
But then everyone would invert any game that was POV. We tilt forward to look down when we are standing, as well, and yet most people don't invert controls for non-flying games.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:17:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We don't tilt out whole bodies though, just our heads. And since a POV camera is literally just a camera and doesn't really resemble our motion that much...
I suppose I can see that! Would be interesting to do a study on all this that included people who had never played video games of any kind, etc and see what ended up being intuitive for everyone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Difficult enough to put together, but it would be pretty interesting.
Personally I only invert in flight and anywhere else it just feels backwards
I know this is old, but just a suggestion: When controlling a plane, moving the mouse left/right controls roll rather than panning the camera. This could have something to do with how people think about the relation between the mouse movement and the result.
(I'd also guess many people may have been influenced by playing a flight sim in the past or even just seeing "Pull up! Pull up!" scenes in films.)
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:25:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never invert y-axis. I don't know how people get used to it.
Because it FPS games you're not intuitively controlling the head of your character, at least I have never thought of it that way. I push down to look down, up to look up. But in a plane you push forward to nose down and back to nose up. I don't even think of them in the same terms (up vs forward, down vs back).
In FPS games you are not controlling your character's head, you are pointing the gun sights at targets, in the exact same way you point a mouse cursor at things on your desktop.
In flight games, the mouse's Y-axis maps to rotation about the plane's X-axis. Your frame of reference is intuitively above the axis, and so forward motion translates into a downward rotation, while backward motion translates into an upward rotation.
Ezmar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You could see it as aiming it like a vehicle, though, since changing your aim changes where you move.
I recently played halo for the first time in half a decade, and while walking around with inverted controls felt awkward at first, there was no doubt that my muscle memory defaulted to inverted for aiming. It's probably some weird brain thing.
Ezmar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never invert my mouse, but I've always inverted my stick on a controller.
My guess is it's down to the mental frame of reference. I think of an fps as sort of piloting my dude, rather than as walking around and moving a cross hair, which would make more sense to be un-inverted.
To look right, you push left? This analogy is flimsy and breaks down when you apply it to FPS controls
DoxBox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:32:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What you're doing with the mouse is controlling the level of the plane. Same as a joystick, except instead of a stick it's a mouse and instead of tilting it you're moving it.
Basically, what happens at the bottom of a joystick is what happens to the aircraft. If the joystick is pulled back, the bottom of the stick is tilting down at the back and up at the front. For a plane this is perfect. It's like you're controlling which plane the aircraft is flying on. Pull back on the stick, and that tilting up at the front happens to the plane itself.
It's really not even inverted Y for flight simulators, that's the right way up for them. You're not controlling your view, you're controlling the plane.
Azkik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't, never understood it. Yet for the first 6 months I played Halo, I played inverted...
bilky_t ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol I think you mean to say "Yes".
Sins is a 4X that plays similarly to a traditional RTS (top-down). Civ is a turn-based strategy, but it does have the same top-down perspective we're talking about.
Quick question, do you invert both axes or just the horizontal plane?
Just horizontal. But if you play Sins top down, you won't use the X axis or Y axis since that's for moving the camera sideways or down/up.
bilky_t ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I really need to play this game. And not just so I can understand what's going on here =P It looks really, really good and I've heard so much about it.
It's legit not too hard to learn one way or the other. I remember my dad was all inverted for years, which is what I learned to game with. Then learning as time went on that fps games didn't have inverted controls, I kept playing with regular, you get used to it in a week or two.
I play fps with only regular, but flying I can do either inverted or regular, it depends on whether it's first person or third person. Third person flying I prefer inverted.
My boyfriend plays games professionally using inverted mouse and I just cannot comprehend it. I've played on his computer a few times and honestly it is so odd.
It depends how you think spatially. If you imagine a stick stuck to the front of a person's head and you could grab it and move it around, that's normal y axis. If you think of the stick on the back of their head, that's inverted y axis.
I inverted the axis and used to use all kinds of flight simulators for years when I was younger. Learned to hang glide last year and it totally messed me up because I always had to think about it. In hang gliding you pull on the bar to go down and push to go up, opposite of what I learned. Gave my instructor and myself quite a scare sometimes.
MD83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:06:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I play shooters like this. On a whim, i decided to see how hard it would be to get used to inverted y mouse at all times. Surprisingly easy if you're already used to invert mouse in things like flight or shooters. For like 1-2 minutes you cant do anything and then it just clicks and youre almost natural.
Went to a service call once to an old lady whose mouse wasn't working properly. She had just purchased a new wireless mouse and was wondering why it was working back to front. I just turned it around for her and billed her the $150
Playing secret weapons over Normandy made me permanently switch to inverted y axis. It was the only game I played for like 6 months. Went back to a first/third person game and couldn't "remember" the controls.
4_jacks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly don't know where I picked up inverted Y. But it makes sense to me, because I think of the mouse on a horizontal plane (Table) and I think of the motions like turning my head. I tilt my head FORWARD, I look down. I tilt my head BACKWARDS, I look up.
Started playing /r/archeage in 2014 an they had no invert Y option at the time (Korean Game) I spent months running around staring at the sky or the ground. They finally added an invert Y option, but I've finally become accustomed to non-inverted Y.
Back in the 90s I had a friend who's family just bought their first computer. It got used a lot between all the family members and us kids running around after school. Someone in the family got the idea that the mouse should be oriented like that (upside down), and it just spread through the family of 4 that way. They also happened to be some rather bossy people, so they would insist you use it that way too because "you're doing it wrong".
You'd be surprised how quickly you can catch on and learn how to use a mouse both ways. Also helped that it was a Mac with one button on the mouse, so clicking by pressing down with your palm wasn't that difficult.
I worked with a user in the school system who was spatially dyslexic, and had to operate his mouse like that. Whenever I walked into a lab, I could tell when he had left since a machine near the back would have a mouse turned around.
Had a customer that I was showing products to on a regular computer continually say the opposite direction. If she wanted me to scroll down on the computer she would say "no go up!" It wasn't until I saw her swipe upwards to go down on her iPhone screen that it clicked. Was a serious mind fuck but I guess everything is perspective.
I was so bored at my old job that I actually tried doing this for a whole day once. After a couple minutes it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. It's still completely unreasonable and you're way better off using it the way it was intended to be used, but yeah just thought I'd mention my adventures of boredom.
I actually knew a guy in HighSchool who used the mouse like this, and could easily move and click the right way despite the mouses cord facing up/north/back to front whatever you call it.
oldark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:51:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't so bad if you're right handed. You can click with the pad under your pinky finger and curl your thumb in for the right click.
A teacher in my high school did this. I had to help draw something in Paint and had to correct the mouse. It was because the cable in the back of the PC was tangled and the mouse couldn't move too well. I fixed it and the teacher was astounded and couldn't understand how.
I experienced the same situation at a small college. Just change the "she" to a "he" and add in that he could not figure out why the mouse was acting differently today.
On the original Nintendo there was a cartridge that was basically MS Paint. My wife rented this cartridge and a mouse from some store that rented games and brought it home for our son.
HE found her "playing" this game holding the mouse upside down in her hand and using it like a trackball. She would click the buttons with the fingers holding the mouse.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The first time I saw a mouse, back in the 80s, I thought it was a trackball, similar to the ones on arcade games like Centipede or Crystal Castles. So I held the mouse upside down. It did not work very well.
srcarruth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:42 on September 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my dad holds the mouse so he can use his thumb to click. it's weird but I can't think of any reason why not. it's how a real man clutches his mouse, I expect.
My father taught me from a young age that that's the way he used it, can't use it the ''right'' way, really. He misinterpreted the mouse, I am just a byproduct, and so is the rest of my family. I also just find it to be more comfortable to hold my mouse this way so i don't really care for changing my ways.
yokayla ยท 6122 points ยท Posted at 20:20:24 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At a shop I help out at, a group of panicked older women (55+) recruited me to 'fix the computer'. They were panicked about it being broken and missing important work emails from head office, and please you're young, fix it! I'm tech-savvy but no expert, so I wasn't sure I could be much help... Until I got to the computer and saw the 'problem'.
The email was sorted from oldest-newest instead of newest-oldest, that was it. I clicked it and they celebrated me like I was Steve jobs.
This is how I feel about the cleanliness of my apartment. No matter how clean I keep it, (I work at home and she doesn't) she always comes home upset about something being wrong. Sometimes she doesn't even make it through the door!
Set up an office for work @ home. Lock it closed, don't leave anything outside the office except when you're 'commuting to/from the office' or 'out to lunch.'
This is a tough one for people to understand. They expect you to clean all day because they think you're home doing nothing. Make sure it's obvious you're at work - don't use the office for gaming - only work. don't respond to knocks when at work, only text / email / calls / chat. Make it clear you are at work when you're at work, not working and simultaneously doing the laundry or whatever.
Actually everyone is helpless until applying the right algorithm and seeing it's success. If you told that person what you did or tought them to trust their brain then they would learn themselves.
It's like math. Everyone says it's complicated so everyone is scared as fuck to say something stupid and they stop trying or listening.
It's probably also scary for them to fuck up and break stuff. Shit I'm a programmer and hope my fucking programms build system doesn't break in some stupid way and I have to fix it for hours.
You don't even need to do that anymore with smartphones or macs. If you see a picture of a person in a notebook, that means that is where persons are written down. That is not hard at all. Dumbphones were more cryptic and they figured it out, why can't they this?
SMYFFL ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 06:19:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, it's because they had to put a lot of actual effort into learning how to do things on older technology, and it seems from their perspective that they're forced to relearn their workflow every couple years when new things come out.
Most of these people don't ever come to understand why they're doing what they're doing on a computer. They tend to find roundabout ways to accomplish what they're attempting to do, and then memorize those steps instead of thinking why they got there.
This is why you'll see people like my mother (she actually does this) with iPhones who will do seemingly insane things like swiping left from the homescreen to get to spotlight search, searching for "phone," opening the Phone app, going back to the homescreen, swiping left to get to spotlight search, searching for "contacts," opening the Contacts app, then scrolling down to a contact name to call them. Even though my mom uses her smartphone more than I use mine and even though she uses many other apps just by tapping on the app icon, the way that she learned how to call people was (probably by trial and error) this exact step-by-step process.
The way these types people get through many things in life is by repeatedly following exact algorithms. Interrupt that algorithm at all and you've lost them - even if in doing so you've ostensibly made the software more user friendly.
Honestly I think a lot of it stems from using computers in the 80s or 90s, when it was a lot easier to accidentally break things by not knowing what you're doing. Lots of older folks never realized that bricking a smartphone or accidentally erasing some important file is nearly impossible in 2016 and spend their technological lives worried that they're going to destroy their new $700 gadget.
jalif ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:01:56 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have seen people literally move their eyes to avoid reading words.
These people depend completely on civilisation to support them.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:15:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think such people have had so many confusing experiences that they just expect that the answer couldn't possibly be right there in front of them, and so never bother to look.
This is why when customers come in for help with something relatively simple I refuse to do it for them. I'll have all the patience in the world to teach them as long as they don't act like a jackass, but they're damn well doing all of the actions themselves. I guess this wouldn't work so well for computer repair, but it works quite nicely with smartphone issues which are nearly as annoying to deal with.
Hate to tell you this, but the next level up is the person who does it for themselves while you show them, but then immediately flushes the info out of their brain. So next week they come to you, you show them again, and they do it again, and they immediately flush it again. Then the next week...
Yeah, it makes life a lot easier. Sure it takes a bit more initial effort, but if I don't have the same person coming in every two days asking me how to upload a picture to Facebook then it's worth it.
uhmhi ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:10:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly this.
Unless the screen displays information that is 100% identical to what they expect, they simply discard it all saying "it's broken!".
THIS. Once I had this client that didn't know what to do. So the only thing I have done is read out loud what I saw on the screen and ask him what he thinks we should do next. Ofcourse he had no problem doing anything he came to me for by himself. People just need Microsoft Sam to read all the shit that's on their screen for them.
I don't know, for a generation that has never had to follow certain structured processes it's not easy to figure it out, especially if they don't speak English. On top of that many are too old te be very good at learning still.
Obviously that only goes for old people or someone who has never seen a computer.
This reminds me of a buddy who will skip intro dialogue/tutorials in games then try to play and say the game is too hard or sucks because it didn't tell him how to play.
Yes. This is what I tell people about computers and learning to use them:
First, you can't break it. Seriously, until you really know what you're doing, you simply aren't going to break this computer, not by clicking icons and hitting keys. So with that in mind, whenever you come to a problem, just try things. Hit buttons that look like they might be relevant, hit buttons that look like they aren't relevant, just play with it for a while (because you won't break it).
I think this is the most important lesson in learning to use computers - realizing that you don't have to be afraid, because you aren't going to break anything, just go for it.
It's also a 15 year old computer with a boot up time of at least 30 minutes, my grandma's pc didn't want to open up my computer tab took her windows xp 10 minutes with all the crap she gathered.
She is the type of person that thinks that if you delete the shortcut you delete the program.
"it was state of the art when I bought it"
My blood curdles with the intensity of a white water river.
siler7 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:16:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is deep. My dad's going to lose his job because he just can't handle computers. Something in his mind just blocks them out, and it's like he's fighting against technology. For example, if he's trying to type something, and the paragraph formats automatically, he'll hit backspace and make an indentation with the spacebar. Takes him HOURS to do anything, but he can't help it. I keep trying to tell him that the computer is designed to help him and to work alongside him, but he sees it as his enemy no matter what.
Sounds like you should just show him how to turn off auto-formatting.
Hell, I work in IT ... and I fucking loathe auto-formating.
I typed exactly what I typed because that's exactly how I wanted it.
I don't need some uppity computer mucking everything up in a poorly conceived attempt at helping me.
If you gave me a large pair of wire cutters and legal immunity, I would find the bastards at Microsoft behind their ever worsening auto-formatting and I would amputate all of their fucking fingers so they can't do any more damage.
Programmer here, old enough that smartphones weren't a thing when I started programming. It's almost like since smartphones (or perhaps Macs) there is a new class of computer user, one that generally expects software to operate in a human friendly way and is willing to let it go when it doesn't do exactly what they want. At this point, these people seem to be the majority of users, and I can intellectually understand their existence, but my gut is like "That fucking computer didn't let you do that obviously reasonable thing and you're just going to move on? Are you fucking kidding me?"
My wife loves mocking the fact that I'll happily type byzantine commands into a terminal to do "magic" stuff, but am 50/50 going to lose my fucking mind trying to find some random setting on some fucking unlabeled cutesy icon in some mobile app that apparently the rest of the world just loves.
No. He doesn't want to help it. A lot of people, especially after a certain age, become convinced that their ways of doing things are the best and can't be improved upon. That's how you get conservatives.
I'm not sure about the first sentence, but everything else you said describes my dad perfectly. He's progressive in a lot of ways, but those ways haven't changed in several decades. Definitely some conservative tendencies, too.
Particularly when so many others have an IQ around 100. Self-selecting populations like reddit, college graduates, professionals, etc., tend to forget how much better they are at understanding and using new information than the average person.
And sadly, being not-so-great at understanding new information tends to form a vicious cycle with avoiding new information.
If you'd ever worked in IT you'd know how absolutely off base you are.
It's not a matter of intelligence at all.
It's waaaaaayyy more related to pride.
Generally the users who would traditionally be considered "less intelligent", people who have maybe a high school diploma and no college, will actually be easier to work with and teach. They're able to acknowledge mistakes. And they're actually willing to listen to what you're saying.
The nightmare users are the ones who have the most degrees, the highest positions, and the biggest paychecks.
PHDs are the fucking worst and I've daydreamed about throwing more than one out of a window.
And the reason for this pattern is, as I said before, it's not intelligence it's pride.
The more prideful the user the more you'll encounter a stubborn refusal to even attempt thinking about what's going on. As if they are too important to be bothered reading words that are displayed on their computer screen.
And they certainly can't be bothered with what I'm actually saying.
They're not able to conceive of the possibility that they could be doing something wrong.
It either works flawlessly in accordance with their expectations ... or we are incompetent and have broken it.
Edit:
And Jesus Christ do those same self-important shitheads sure love to bitch about having to change their password!
le_sacre ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a matter of intelligence at all.
This again is an extreme overgeneralization. I think you could make your point more effectively by not attempting to collapse the entire computer-literacy-challenged population into a single stereotype, particularly when it seems like you have an extreme selection bias in the type of tech support problem you encounter.
Sure, the "genius" in the corner office is going to be a dick to the poor IT guy who has to remind him to change his password. But a lot (perhaps most) of other people's examples of nightmare computer illiteracy stories just don't involve that power dynamic (e.g. the top level comment above, people helping their friends & family, immediate coworkers, etc.).
So yes, clearly pride is an issue in some cases. But not all. Take off your job-specific blinders and you'll see a lot of people sharing cases that involve no pride at all, but rather fear and... shall we say, slow-wittedness. Thus, it's inaccurate to state things as categorically as "not a matter of intelligence at all", "it's not intelligence it's pride", or "absolutely off base." Again, I'm not discounting your particular niche experience of tech support with these proud, intelligent jerks who should be smart enough to figure the stuff out on their own. I just hate to see these black&white pronouncements about human psychology go unchallenged. Why refuse to acknowledge a multifaceted reality?
I'm not dealing with a couple "genius in a corner office".
I work at a college.
So I'm regularly dealing with both ends of the spectrum and in between.
And I'll take an interaction with custodial staff over an interaction with a dean any day.
Edit:
Since I'm talking about the wide range of people I deal with I'd just like to confirm something everyone suspects: Yes, your HR reps really are retarded.
At this point, it sounds to me like you're talking more about "tech support clients who are a nightmare to deal with" vs the original topic of "tech support clients who are the most computer illiterate." A lot of us would rather help the custodian than the dean, but that doesn't mean they usually have the same computer literacy problems. Your comment about the HR reps implies their intellect has something to do with the amount of your help they require, which contradicts your earlier blanket statement that it's all pride and nothing at all to do with intelligence.
No. You don't have to be any sort of smart to figure out computers. You have to not be willfully ignorant.
le_sacre ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:10:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hm. Cognitive science is sort of my field of expertise. Smart = "good at figuring things out." There are considerable stable individual differences in this ability (aka fluid intelligence).
Low fluid intelligence is a particular challenge for people encountering unfamiliar situations that don't fit into the cognitive routines they have developed dependence on. Just because someone hasn't tried very hard to figure out how to do something doesn't mean they necessarily would succeed if they put forth more effort. Sometimes people give up because they intuit correctly they will fail, or they can't even formalize the problem with enough specificity to attempt a solution.
That said, of course there is a lot of willful ignorance out in the tech support world. I just object to your over-generalization, and think it speaks to my point about selection bias: perhaps the vast majority of your social circle would have to be willfully ignorant to be this computer illiterate, but that doesn't mean that explanation applies to everyone. Given the drastically increasing share of the workforce required to interact with computers, it's not surprising to encounter tech support problems that seem bafflingly trivial to you as both an experienced tech user and a person of above-average intelligence.
Thanks for a thought out response. The thing is is that many computer problems are not difficult to fix and the solution can be found with somewhat of ease.
What I am bothered by and this is my opinion is that price give up before trying. I'm guessing many people don't even attempt to fix their problem. Because if they did they would find that it's not outside of their intelligence
That's pretty interesting right there, thanks. I do however, think willfull ignorance is pretty rampant in relation to computery things.
I often get people who have been using computers at work for 10 years, but they still do not know (or pretend to not know) how to open a program when there is no icon for it on the desktop. Now I'm not sure how it is possible, in 10 years, to not accidentally learn that you can get to all the programs from the start menu. Would this fall into the wilful ignorance category? Or some other description?
Edit: is actually something I find fascinating. I'd love to learn about the psychology behind it.
Yeah, it is interesting stuff! So, personality researchers almost unanimously subscribe to the Five Factor model of personality (or The Big Five). One of these factors is called Openness to Experience, and it is the one most strongly correlated with fluid intelligence (some refer to the factor as Openness/Intellect). In general, someone high on openness enjoys experimentation and new information, while someone low on this factor prefers familiarity, conventionality, and routine.
So it probably is the case that most of these people you're describing are low on Openness, so they are unlikely to accidentally discover shortcuts or alternative methods through exploratory or experimental behavior that most tech people take for granted ("Let's see what happens when I click here" vs "That's not where I was taught to click, I better not do that!"), and because of the association with intelligence are also going to be less likely to pick up on helpful cues, make associations with other patterns they've observed, or be adept at searching for and implementing solutions through research.
I think there's also a domain-specific tech phobia that particularly applies to the elderly (and perhaps any stereotype-threat-sensitive groups, basically people who aren't young white dudes), that suppresses characteristics of Openness with anxiety ("If I click the wrong thing, I will probably break the computer" syndrome). So people who are fairly high on Openness in their everyday life may seize up a bit in this high-anxiety environment. That discrepancy could then easily make them defensive.
Thanks for the insight. I'll have a think about that.
In regards to the domain specific tech phobia, do you think it would be possible to reduce the effects by education, eg. more classes at school or training at work? Or does the phobia come from deeper within? Generally speaking of course.
h4xrk1m ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always defined intelligence as "understanding how to use what you know". How far from the mark am I?
I'm someone whose IT career has included way too many calls where I end up teaching someone how to do something in software that they've been using for years while I'm seeing it for the first time.
And I'm still pissed about the Office redesign.
Just because I can figure it out doesn't mean it should have been changed!
I can't think of a UI decision Microsoft has made in the last decade that I didn't think was idiotic.
It's like they're on a never-ending quest to see just how bad they can fuck up their UI without losing a significant amount of market share.
h4xrk1m ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:02:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They seem to have backpedaled a bit in win10. It almost seems useful to me.
Then again, I only boot it about once a month to click on the steam icon.
What's worse is when a new version comes out, and as a support guy you know office has feature X, but you just can't fucking find where the fuck they moved it to. So inevitably you have to call the person back 16 seconds after you've given up hunting around in remote control and stumble across it on your own, or something finally falls out of google that tells you where they moved it. (Because the help file says such helpful things as, "oh you want to do Y? click on the Y icon!" FUCKING THANK YOU, NO SHIT.)
sagerjt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:50:56 on November 30, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Me too. They'd backed themselves into a corner with the already-confusing menus in 2003. I consider myself a power user, and even I didn't know what all the options did. By grouping them by category, you can at least discover new ways of doing your tasks.
What I'm upset about is that there was an interactive thing on Microsoft's website back in 2010 that let you click through a "virtual" Office 2003 and then it would show you where to find the new location in 2007/2010. Last I checked they took it down.
h4xrk1m ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The ribbon pretty much sucks, but then again, I'm the happiest if I can just type commands.
It makes me sad that people get upset at the rest of the world for being bad at reading error messages, rather than being proud of themselves for being good at it. You never see graphic designers or doctors ask why everyone else isn't good at their job.
I was just looking it up and didn't see it anywhere. There was a lot of 'one man's ___ is another man's ___' but OPs version is much better. I would love to see a representation of it in tattoo form.
Like you fuckin wrote outlook yourself or something.
mdog95 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:58:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"WHY DO THEY MAKE IT SO HARD TO FIND "X" BUTTON???"
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:52:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
why can't it just be like i want it to be without me having to act?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:49:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the computing industry has been remarkably slow on producing computers that can do anything without the user interacting with them, or even really knowing what they want to achieve when they turn on the computer
eeojun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fair point. I think it boils down to the probability of guessing correctly. One day when we can reduce the prob. of guessing incorrectly to a very small value (e.g. we can guess correctly like, 90% of the time) then we'll see more and more consumer devices actively anticipating the user's intentions. IMHO there are two ways to do it:
More data! (downside: privacy issues \o/)
Better algorithms! (downside: you'd have to wait for some genius to discover said algorithm)
But it also depends on the cost of guessing incorrectly- you wouldn't want your fancy stealth bomber to anticipate that the pilot wants to nuke us all. Until then I'm happy with my phone not calling the cops whenever there's a loud noise.
There is a thing called IT rage. It begins with statements like these, made by people who shouldn't have been hired with the computer skills they have (or don't).
I want to ask the next time, "Fine, then, explain to me how you would design this interface so it does only what you want without any guesswork or confusion?"
My answer? Remove all hotkey features by default. So many times in things like photoshop I hit the wrong button and have no idea what I just changed and how to reverse it.
xTRS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I understand that computers used to be complicated. But nowadays UI and UX are so important that most programs don't need any explanation to use. There are people who's job it is to specifically make sure that their products are not hard use.
If you're willing to just follow along, you're probably no more than 3 steps away from doing whatever you need to do.
mdog95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but that requires actual brain power, which users do not have.
Happened recently to me. I get a call that there is an error on the screen. "What error?", I asked. She responded "Oh, I don't know, I didn't read it. I'm computer illiterate." I think, no, that's just regular illiterate. So she takes a picture of the error with her phone and emails it to me. The error message describes what the error is and exactly how to fix it. I copy it word for word into the email and send it back to her. Hopefully she got someone to read it to her.
I work on cash registers. When we don't receive a stores daily data, we log in to find out why. Sometimes its an error with the program, usually its a matter of the stores not closing properly (or at all).
I have boilerplate instructions telling them what to do. Example:
"Please close your registers and perform End of Day, all corporate reports are showing $0
Thanks,
$me"
there's literally a button that says "close register" and "end of day"
people still call me when they get in in the morning and tell me they don't know what to do.
"What does it say on the screen?"
"Please close your registers and perform End of Day."
"Did you try closing your registers and pressing end of day?"
"No, I didn't know I had to."
Sometimes, and I hate this, I will call IT and things will just randomly start working on their own. Like, I'm describing the problem, and it just stops doing it. It makes me feel like I am the above-person.
Ahh, the old "read the directions and do what they say" trick. Sorcery.
0diggles ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 07:16:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love that when I auto sort their excel sheet of names alphabetically they think I'm a genius. When I spend the day building a redundant backup satellite relay connection spanning 18 miles and having to do the math to figure out how much the curvature of the earth affects the data beam I get, "what do you do all day?"
Punsire ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:18:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a network engineer AND sys admin for a very large medical organization. Mostly I do a lot of deep breathing and hope someone doesn't end up dying because the database crashed.
My coworker was told by IT that her inbox was full this morning and she needed to start clearing down her inbox/archiving items/remove deleted items. I stupidly told her how to delete items completely without sending them to deleted items (Shift + Del) the previous week. She decided to highlight all items in her inbox and then do this.
She began freaking out that everything was gone and kept saying "my computer has a virus". This is a pretty regular type of occurrence.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:25:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh god, this thread is triggering my PTSD.
I work as an IT professional and I try my best to not think about work when I get home. It's impossible.
I once had a director email me directly and copied the other directors of the company saying along the lines "I've been expecting important emails from our parent company, and I haven't been receiving them for over a month now which is unacceptable. I need this sorted ASAP!."
I then look through his inbox and see the emails he was looking for were automatically added to a folder every time they were received. He had set up a rule so all emails from that company would be stored straight into a folder.
He then asked me not to let the others know as it looks a bit foolish. What he didn't know was I already had written the email out and when he messaged me, I was already hovering over the send button to a reply all email.
Whoops! How embarrassing. He didn't contact me in time I guess.
Don't get me wrong. I normally don't do this. If he had come to me personally and been a bit nicer, I would have understood these sort of things happen, but to try and bring more higher ups into it and make it look like it was my department's fault, I'm not a fan of.
TLDR: Director of company tried to make IT look incompetent. Ended up making himself look foolish.
I just emailed my IT guy because my Outlook now only had three columns instead of two and I couldn't figure out how to view all my folders. While waiting, I googled it, then hit Ctrl 6, then emailed my IT guy to tell him my dumb ass was able to figure it out. THEY WERE THERE YESTERDAY!!!
And most of the time we can't explain what we did to them without sounding like a dick and making them feel stupid. So I just smile and say thank you and move on.
I hate it when they're like "boy am I stupid, what a complete moron I am for not being able to figure that out!" because how the hell are you supposed to follow that up?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No, no you're not. It's an easy mistake to make and I've done it myself plenty of times."
Or some variation. I get that people skills aren't exactly a common trait in IT people, but the ones with the best jobs in IT definitely have them.
Rejusu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:29:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Getting complimented for being able to do simple tasks always feels patronising to me. I know they don't mean it because to them what you've done may as well be astrophysics. But it just rubs me the wrong way when people applaud me for basically pushing a button, or following some simple instructions.
" the screen is black! I've tried turning the computer off and on again but it doesn't work"
I went up to see what was wrong and discovered that they hadn't turned on the monitor.
55 yo female here. I LOVE fixing my friends computers because the problems are usually something like this and they think I'm such a hero. I even get thank you notes in the mail. But as my husband pointed out - you diagnosed the problem, fixed it and it was something they could never do on their own so you saved them money and time. So, yeah, all of here are heroes!
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:41:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But as my husband pointed out - you diagnosed the problem, fixed it and it was something they could never do on their own so you saved them money and time.
I think it's a bit like why photographers (usually) get paid so well for their time. Sure, it only took two seconds to take that picture, but the reason it only took two seconds is their many years of experience. People could probably solve the problem themselves, but it would take hours for them to do what you did instantly.
yumas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:38:51 on September 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This week I forgot my keys and had to pay 70 โฌ for a locksmith to come and wiggle with a little metal stick next to the lock and open it at the second attempt.
I'm not saying you don't have to learn for that job, and there might be some challenges from time to time. But I bet most of the time he has to use the stuff he learned on his first day and gets paid for little more than driving somewhere
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The term for this in economics is "comparative advantage".
You've inadvertently discovered the secret of how most helpdesk and small-business IT people make their living. Please do not ruin this for us, we've got a good thing going, here.
maganar ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:48:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My "then I saw the problem" story was when they complained about the computer not working and the screen only showing black. Come over, turn it on. There is not even a computer there, just a mouse, keyboard, and monitor. They'd been trying to turn the monitor on for 3 days. It wasn't even plugged in.
Wait till they see Word 2016. Click on anything other than Home at the top and watch people lose their minds.
Better yet, click View, then anything over on the right other than Print Layout. People freak out, can't even begin exploring, and call for help instantly.
peepay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:15 on October 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why 2016?
The ribbon interface has been there since the 2007 version.
Most of the stories on here aren't even computer illiterate, it's just being illiterate.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:10:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At my work, we call these "Surprise Orientations."
Because we have a 'Training/Example' option for incidents meant to signify, well, training/examples. Nobody reads (or can read, really) the incident report after we close it, so we use this option to internally imply that the user is a complete moron.
I do this monthly for my grandmother. She somehow always screws up her email. I've had to remove different things she's added like filters that require me to go into like 3 different menus, around 8-10 clicks to find this stuff. Me and my dad have no clue how she ever turns any of it on because it always takes us some deep diving to deselect the check box she somehow turned on. Baffling.
I had this happen last week, have an analyser/computer at work that can filter stuff by time a test is done, is the test onboard the analyser etc. Someone changed the setting to 'show all', pretty common thing to do coz you can then search/look up a specific test number. She started panicking that she couldn't find the tests loaded on the analyser because there was sooo many tests on the screen and how could she sort through them all? Just... change the filter from 'all' to 'loaded samples' ?
Reminds me of a time I was working in the electronics department of a Sears:
Elderly couple comes in, with one of those shitty 5.1 sound systems. The husband is fuming, claiming someone knowingly sold him a broken unit.
The problem? CD player played the songs in all the wrong order....
bAZtARd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you also install Google Ultron?
oneinch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like the one where someone has searched for something in outlook and either doesn't know how to clear the search or doesn't realize there's a search phrase typed in the search bar.
"WHERE ARE MY EMAILS! I hate this stupid thing! I can't ever get anything done!!!!"
As a (potentially panicked) older woman can I say something here? My office skills were learned with pencil and paper, manual typewriters, transcribing machines, and giant adding machines. Mistakes involved horrendously complicated correction procedures. My sons were raised with the Mario Brothers - they clicked on everything looking for magic coins. This skill they bring over to their computers. They aren't fearful of clicking the wrong key and setting off nuclear war. I sometimes am.
You haven't lived until you've had to erase through 4 carbon copies of an important document to make a correction.
My mum's better than this now but she once had a meltdown because she thought she had lost her dissertation in MS Word "It just went!".
She'd accidentally overtyped it all with a single space. one ctrl-Z later and I'm a genuine hero.
My mom is a 'home-nurse' i guess, basically takes care of older people in their homes. One needed help with her email, every time she went to write and email "the text changes size too fast and I cant tell what I'm typing".
While typing, the heel of both of her thumbs would touch the trackpad so it was zooming in and out. I had to just disable it because she did NOT understand
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happens to me ALL THE TIME, except the person who is always asking for me to work my computer miracles is literally my boss, so it makes me look like such a G. "E_B, can you help me? I don't know why my e-mail doesn't tell me what day of the week it came in anymore. I cant get anything done like this." clicks the view tab and opts to view emails by day "E_B, you're a genius. This is why we hired you. Thank you." and I just walk away grinning like a pig in shit because literally the easiest part of my job is what impresses him the most. What's also great is it's literally that same exact problem every single time.
BrainWav ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My grandmother keeps accidentally setting her emails to sort by sender. She never quite remembers how to change it back.
Her PC's ancient though, and I'm planning to surprise her and my grandfather with an upgrade at Christmas, at which point I'm going to push her to using webmail instead of Outlook Express.
I get that a lot. A lot of my customers are retired, elderly people. I've resorted to using TeamViewer for a lot of my long-term customers (3+years and up) so I can just remote in and "fix it" in 10 seconds rather than driving all the way over. They LOVE it.
Then there's Grace. She's 96 and as sharp as a tack. She spends most of her day on her 27" iMac and I only have to teach her things once. That woman is a demon.
I work at a 55 and older community and one thing I have been taught us old people just cannot help themselves from clicking until they cannot click anymore. I am just like you, I am tech savvy but no computer whiz. It still surprises me how most people do not know how to google or YouTube a problem. I can fix 90% of computer issues with googles help.
I got one similar to this. My cousin was a counselor at a major university and she's at least somewhat computer literate. She called me one day and said all of her emails are being delayed by one day, so anything sent today, she would get tomorrow. She officially hired me to fix it, I drove over there, saw a plus sign next to 'Today' in Outlook, clicked it and solved the problem. I got paid $50 to go click a plus sign.
I think my favorite memory of working PT at a computer shop was when a woman came in saying her "computer just wasn't workin' right". So I take a look and see that her copy of Windows 7 that came with the computer has fallen out of activation (it happens sometimes, its pretty random but easily fixed). I was her savior and the brightest mind in the world when I took a picture of her product key and typed it in.
So you made 5 ladles happy. With your newest to oldest expertise magic stroke. New Nickname Steve Enter 5 Jobs At DA Same Dam Time!๐ต๐ถ
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should've just spun your chair around, unzipped your pants proudly and exclaimed "Alright ladies, how much do you appreciate my help?"
duggy747 ยท 5908 points ยท Posted at 23:05:03 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Showing a customer how to play DVDs on her laptop, set up VLC and have it so it would automatically run when she loaded one in.
As an example, I put in a medical training DVD I had lying around that was left behind by someone else ages ago but I used it for these types of scenarios.
The DVD comes on, it has a list of different sections so I randomly pick on Gastrointestinal and it plays a training video.
Woman:"Why did you do that?"
Me:"Do what?"
Woman: "Why........why did you pick Gastrointestinal?"
Thinking she was somehow offended by the choice I then said:
Me:"Oh.......sorry, it's just an example to show you how the DVD functionality works on your machine."
Woman:".........."
So I pop out the DVD and tell her she's good to go when she replies:
Woman:"So to play DVDs I have to choose Gastrointestinal?"
Live long enough in customer service or retail and you perspective on humans will change for the worse. If it wasn't for commercials and TV I don't know how people would know how execute any activity more complex than breathing.
Not really, she was trying toearn and apply what she thought was the lesson. It's ignorant for sure, but she sounds like she was already tech ignorant to begin with. Need to focus the learning is all.
Hakobus ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 07:00:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So I worked for this production company and around 2009 we had to send episodes of the shows we were working on on DVD to the head of programming at the broadcaster we were currently doing productions for. Since we finished the whole season in advance, I made a regular video dvd with a menu where you can choose the episode. I get an angry call from the head of programming:
Head of programming: "What is this shit? The opening credits are weird and too long and it's just little pictures of things with the episode names and I've been watching it for like five minutes and the episode hasn't even started yet!"
Me: "Umm... It's just the dvd menu."
HOP: "What?!"
Me: "If you're watching it on a computer, just click on one of the little pictures with your mouse and that episode will start playing."
HOP makes a grumbling sound and I hear them reaching for the mouse. The music at the start of episode 1 starts playing.
HOP: "Oh."
Call ends.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:26:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I looked at for a map
dorekk ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:56:13 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Flakesy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:07:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dont know why this infuriates me, but it does. This meme was just born and you are already using it wrong/shortened and make it less funny in the process. Where is the "i dont know what that is!" part?
A real call I got once:
Me: "Tech Support, how can I help you?"
Them: "I'm not able to log into the website!"
Me: "Okay what message is it showing when you try to log in?"
Them: "SIR, I am NOT a computer person so I don't know."
Me: "Do you know which web browser you're using?"
Them: "I don't know what that is!"
Me: "Okay, when you want to go on the internet, do you click on a blue E, or a multicolored circle, or..."
Them: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A COMPUTER PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"
Me: "Tech Support, how can I help you?"
Them: "I'm unable to play DVDs on my laptop"
Me: "What application are you using?"
Them: "SIR, I am NOT a DVD person so I don't know."
Me: "What kind of laptop are you using?"
Them: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A DVD PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"
It's a very frustrating but very fundamental thing when showing a computer illiterate person something on a computer that they can't filter out stuff you're doing that they don't need to.
For instance, as a hypothetical scenario, if you're showing someone how to print something and while you're doing it you think "I'll just check that this is the default printer" and click on settings of whatever and think "yep, that's fine", cancel, the computer illiterate person says "wait! What did you do? What was that screen?"
It doesn't matter how many times you say "it's okay, you don't need to do that. Ever. I was just checking something. You don't need to do it to print. IGNORE WHAT I JUST DID." They will not let it go and think "oh this is complicated, I don't know what you just did, this is confusing me."
Shit happens. Some people can't digest new information, they just regurgitate a recipe.
n1c0_ds ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 07:47:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The biggest problem IMO is right there. Some people learn patterns, and others simply follow a list of instructions. This falls apart as soon as a button moves 150 pixels to the right.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:51:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny but "DVD functionality on your machine" might be too technical
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:31:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was trying to teach a friend a little bit of Python so I'm explaining variables and use x as an example. She says something to the effect of "so what are some other variable names? Is it just x?"
I still remember the shitshow that ensued when my trig teacher in high school starting writing functions of theta instead of x. People apparently couldn't grasp that the little symbol you use to represent an unknown doesn't fucking matter.
That stupid f(x) thing still frickin gets me. I didn't have a hard time with math in high school except for that. I think it's because it makes me think there are actually 2 variables and they are being multiplied and it just makes me confused about everything.
Sometimes to help differentiate, the f will be italicized.
madamz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:02:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh fuck. I totally bombed high school math and the (f)x thing stands out as being especially crippling in my understanding of what we were doing, and I don't think it really clicked for me until I read your comment just now.
I'm 28.
sherlip ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:47:23 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Considering you wrote (f)x instead of f(x), it still doesn't.
f(x) just means - in layman's terms - function of x.
f(x) = 3x+4: function of x = 3x+4.
If you were to go back to where you first learned that notation, you'd see it was akin to y. i.e. y=3x+4.
However, as you progress into higher level mathematics, you'll notice that it's not always convenient to refer to variables as functions of other variables, and you'll become used to just referring to those functions as they are.
When you have a function with three or more variables, you'll get things like 3x2 + 10xy - eyz + ln(xyz) and the last thing you'll ever want to do is bring ANOTHER variable into the mix, so at this point you might as well call it a function of x, y and z, or f(x,y,z).
To be perfectly honest, it didn't click with me until I wrote it out 11 hours ago haha.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:24:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man: I'm trying to solve a math problem but it's not working.
Cook: Alright, what is the problem?
Man: SIR, I am NOT a math person so I don't know.
Cook: Uh OK well you found the problem so what branch of mathematics is it in?
Man: I don't know what that is!
Cook: Well how did you find the problem?
Man: SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A MATH PERSON AND YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 09:25:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good god woman, go back to the kitchen.
[deleted] ยท 2676 points ยท Posted at 19:33:09 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I literally had a boss at my job who did not understand the difference between right-click and left-click, or regular clicking or double clicking.
Whenever he needed to attach something to an email (which was EVERY DAY), he called me into his office and I would have to walk him through it. "Click on New Email." "Left click?" "Left click." "Once or twice?" "Once. Okay now click next to the word 'To'. To the right -- to the right of it -- okay, now type in--" "Do I click again?" "No, just type."
He tried writing down how to do it a dozen times and gave up every time because it was easier to have me coach him.
For some reason "left click" and "right click" are the standard nomenclature on /r/overwatch when talking about heroes with different abilities mapped to each. (Like Mei.) Every time I read it I have to stop and think about which side is which. I say M1 and M2 instead.
My roommate was watching agents of shield the other night, which I hadn't seen any of. Some hacker was talking to some guy who was pretending to be a hacker but wasn't. They told him to type "cee colon forward slash." That was when I ripped my TV out of the wall and flung it out the window. My roommate got all mad but I mean... It's my TV dude
you're grandma would have been confused and if I were you're grandma, which I'm not, I would have been [too]. Since I'm not your grandma and know that you meant
"left click doesn't exist. It's 'click' or 'right click'."
My mom does this. Similarly, I hate when people ask "forward slash or backslash?" To which I replay "there is no forward slash, just slash and backslash."
That used to drive me insane when I worked tech support. My biggest pet peeves were the constant "Left click or right click?" and "Don't you mean click Apply?" when I told someone to click Ok.
I would try to educate them about click/right click, and that Ok applies it and closes it, but I never got anywhere, because I never spoke to the same customer twice.
I felt like Sysyphus, rolling that boulder up the hill every day. I decided it was more frustrating to explain those two things several times a day against an never ending tide of the questions, than it was to just ignore it completely. "Oh, sorry, yes, ma'am, I did mean click Apply. Then click Close."
miahelf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the constant struggle telling people "okay now type slash msg username message" "back slash or forward slash? (trying to sound smart I guess)"
Usually when the cursor changes to the hand or when mousing over the object causes the object to change or highlight its a single. Plus everything on the web.
Everything else is double.
joker38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe, it would help to use the terms primary/secondary mouse button. It is especially useful, when the mouse buttons are swapped for a left-handed person. This might help them realizing there is a default.
I can actually emphasise with that. I remember whenever I'd read something that would require me to left/right click and I'd press the opposite button, since I'm right handed right is my default size so whenever I read 'left' click I would think opposite of my default side and I'd stare at my right side before it clicked that it is not my left side. It was weird.
๐๏ธ MrJoeSchmo ยท 977 points ยท Posted at 20:52:48 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I assume the directions he wrote up looked more like a cheat code than computer instructions.
UP RIGHT UP UP LEFT LEFT DOWN CLICK CLICK LEFT UP...
What cheat code is that? - IDKFA ("I don't know fuck all")
Teekeks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:02 on December 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, click twice or double click?
[deleted] ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 00:36:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once watched a doctor struggle with this concept, as well as double clicking.
"Ok sir, now double click this icon"
Click...click
"Sir, you need to click faster"
"I am doing the double click. I clicked twice"
"Yes, but you need to do it faster"
Click... click...
When he needed to right click, he took his hand off the mouse and pressed the right button with his pointer finger in a dramatic, determined fashion, like one does the big red button in movies.
He did not pass the computer course, mostly because he called the instructor an illiterate boob, and stated that he did not need this course to do his job. He was a doctor after all. However, this was a course instructing him on how to use an EMR (Electronic Medical Record) that his practice was adopting, so yes, he did need it.
Fuck that guy. After a week I would have let him have it. There is no fucking excuse for that shit
I can understand not knowing all the Shit in excel if you only send emails or something but something that Basic and fundamental is insane.
That's like a person not knowing how to use a pencil and asking if they need to use a pen or pencil. It's pathetic and people like that who refuse to learn need to be fired from their jobs regardless of age.
Had the exact same situation with a coworker. Took an entire semester to explain copy/paste and email attachments
Sad part is, he's a JOURNALIST and has worked regularly with computers. Recently earned a PhD too which means he had to have used Word and the Internet at the very least.
One of the employees at my old job double-clicks every single time, despite constant reminders. Now, we use them as a tester to find issues with our software clients / UI.
I just write step by step manuals with pictures for each step showing what to do for my colleagues after they ask the same thing time and time again and simply point them to that.
yParticle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:10:57 on September 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is why Apple stuck with a single mouse button for so long. Some people cannot cope with choice.
Not quite as bad, but: my mom always double clicks links, then gets annoyed at all the duplicate tabs she has. When I tried to explain this to her at some point she started single clicking icons on her desktop as well, confused about why nothing was happening.
You told me to write click. So I grabbed a pencil and wrote "click". It's not working. You're an idiot.
dmklass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is my father in law. Exactly. Every time I say to click on something.
Bonus: when I say right click on something he says "double right click?!!"
I am his on call tech support. Still livin the dream.
Koeru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate that it's somehow acceptable for people to be computer-illiterate and still hold management jobs. It's not that hard to learn but for some reason it's acceptable that they remain ignorant because they didn't grow up with the tech.
Did you ever think to tell him its like getting in a car? Left side is the driver's side, its the side you basically default to whenever you drive a car. Unless something new comes up, like you're in Europe, or you're not the driver, then you use the right side.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometime in 2012, I was doing a part-time IT gig. Mostly desktop support, helping people fix random issues with their computers, etc.
We had a new employee one day, she looked to be around 50 or 60 -- her first ticket was a request for help with configuring some settings with Outlook. Simple enough, I head over to her office.
$Me: Click here, right click that button, click that option, etc. etc.
$User: What's right click?
Apparently she had only ever used ancient macs like this or older.
So I proceeded to, in the year 2012, teach a user the concept of right clicking.
I had this life for several months, pay wasn't worth it. Also he was a crazy person obsessed with his membership in the Freemasons. Also he's my cousin.
Had the same situation, but I'd get called into the office for things as simple as copy/paste.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I am reluctant to help my mom with a lot of her basic tech issues. If I show her how to do something, she mostly learns that I know how to do it for her, so I end up having to do it for her.
My BIL got a MacMini because he wanted to "edit movies," and I figured iMovie was hella easier to teach than whatever Microsoft offers and I wasn't even going to get into Premiere.
And really, if you've had any experience editing with iMovie, it's REALLY simple. (This was before the redesign, it was iMovie 6 HD, which is super simple to use.)
And the level of editing he wanted to do was what experienced video people would call an "assembly" edit. Basically trimming off shit from the start and end, and cutting anything out in the middle that you don't want. No titles, no transitions, no inserted audio or video, just chopping shit out you don't want. Scene transitions are just hard cuts. No fades in or out, etc.
(These were all his home 8mm and some other smaller format videos.)
Get this: It got so bad, trying to teach him how to mark and use Command+x that he started taking movies of me showing him how to edit a movie.
My boss refuses to use computers. 30% of my job consists of printing the same page for him to review for every client he sees. If he would learn to use a computer he could eliminate at least 1 job at our office. Maybe 2, out of 4 total people.
I didn't work in tech support but happened to be able to learn how to use a computer and then usually retain that information. But every week several members of my team would ask, "Klausenberg, how do i do a [basic function] in [Standard Office program]?"
"But colleague," said our beleaguered hero, "I showed you this last week."
"I know but...."
Cue le me trying to show them again but them getting bored, angry or a phonecall and me just doing it.
There were around 3 members of my team who pulled this regularly for over a year. When they got promoted, I got my notice drafted.
[deleted] ยท 1385 points ยท Posted at 19:12:16 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
It's so frustrating, the simplest thing in the world to make your computer run faster is a reboot yet I know people who refuse to do it and still call in tickets.
Had one Dr. that hated typing in her PGP password, she would leave it on for months at a time then send an irate email to our bosses saying that she needs a new computer.
He finally had a heart to heart with her and flagged her user account so that when she calls into our helpdesk the first thing they do is check the uptime on her PC.
Is this a common thing? My girlfriend pretty much actively refuses to reboot her computer, like the inconvenience of doing so (Waiting for it to reboot, losing all of her open Chrome tabs, etc.) outweighs that of whatever problem it's likely to fix. Never believes me when I tell her to just trust me that it fixes things either.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:36:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
CynAq ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:59:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you may need to do a clean install on that win 10 machine. Mine used to crash a lot before I gave in and wiped it clean. Now it works like a charm.
Also, learn how to clean up a new windows 10 installation. It's got a shit load of bloat and weird activity logging shenanigans.
I think its just a laptop thing. When I realize I need to go to class I close the lid and walk away. I never think to power off, because I know I'm going to want to get back on it as soon as I'm back
I think you might be on to something here. I shut down my desktop every night, but I'll have my laptop on for weeks at a time and just hibernate it whenever I stop using it so I can pull it up quickly later.
Pitboyx ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 11:19:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought this was the most common thing to do. As a kid I was told that the power indicator LED uses electricity so I should turn things off when they're not in use.
xelle24 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:34:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be the office manager and unofficial IT person at a small law office. Most of the problems my coworkers had were fixed by - you guessed it - rebooting. For a couple of months, I got everyone to turn their computers and printers off at night when they left. No more computer problems (except for the ones caused by everyone using IE). The electricity bill (yeah, I also did the accounts) dropped by half. Then everyone got lazy, the electricity bill went back up, and I spent far too much of my time telling people to reboot their computers.
We went through this two or three times every year.
I think Linux, Windows and OSX all have a time delay for shutting down you could set up. You could make it 'If after 1 am and computer has been idle for X mins, shut down'
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:23:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, I automated it on our home machine, it does it's cleanup at midnight and turns itself on at 3:30 when my wife gets up.
blamb211 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:10 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife NEVER reboots unless Windows makes her to install updates. I ask her like every week when the last time she rebooted was, and she can never remember.
the simplest thing in the world to make your computer run faster is a reboot
That's not the case with this MacBook Pro I'm currently typing on. Waking from hibernate is also like trying to wake a teenage boy in a carbon-monoxide filled room.
I've had this machine for three years now, it's upgraded to 16GB RAM, has had various versions of OS X macOS (currently on El Capitan 10.11.5). I'm not convinced that it "just works" because, as an IT professional myself, I've seen it do plenty of stupid shit and things just going wrong. The OS has certainly got less stable as time's gone on.
That's the best part, we are running win 7, but they disabled all the auto defragmentation, set the page file to the minimum (same amount as the ram 4gb).
Tried to get them to institute an automatic reboot during off hours but they said people might still have programs open and didn't want them to lose data...
I grew up with a commodore 64, got introduced to unix as one of my first operating systems.
When we rolled out Windows 3.0 it was a nightmare, I had to by onboard 386 cards and add additional memory to them but these were the little chips that you had to line up perfectly and punch them into the card.
A friend asked me something about her iPad recently, asked her last time she rebooted it, turns out she didn't even know how. We had to have a lesson in turning it on and off.
Probably true for the older hardware and OS. I don't think shut down and reboot have such an impact on modern hardware though. For last 8-9 years or so, I don't recall intentionally rebooting my machines unless it was mandatory as part of some software or update installation. Specially with laptops, it's very common to simply close the lid to make it sleep and start exactly from where you left the next time to open the lid.
Agreed, as I said, modern hardware and software are not so susceptible to prolonged up time. However, you still can't say that it's necessary. It may be necessary for your hardware/software environment, based on your machine specs and kind of applications you use, but it's not universally mandatory. For example, in my case, I never really feel the need to reboot with an i7 processor, SSD, and 16GB of RAM on my laptop. And I actually go on for weeks or months before some update/installation forces reboot.
Unfortunately we had to, it was either face an audit or encrypt all of the vulnerable devices that had sensitive information on it (healthcare records).
It's amazing how many things can be fixed with a reboot. Heck, even my giant digital printing press sometimes just needs to be turned off and back on again to stop acting funky.
I admit, although I'm pretty good with computers, I try a lot of stuff before I try rebooting. My last computer (before the one I have now) was running really poorly and my browser was crashing a lot while my family was trying to watch a movie. I tried a bunch of stuff and none of it worked, so I tried rebooting it. It shut down, but never turned back on. Something broke in the Windows installation. It took a whole lot of irritation and a bit of cash I didn't really have to get it working again. Ever since then, I've had kind of a phobia for restarting computers and installing OS updates, because I'm always expecting them to fail in some catastrophic way.
I've had them die on me before and yea it happens but I always have double backup's of my data and music/pictures.
As far as the updates go, I always wait a week until I install them. I belong to a few subs here and see right away if the updates kill machines or have adverse consequences.
Basically I let other people feel the pain, you are in good company.
I hear you, I use to be a novell CNE, those servers would be up for years without having to reboot. Only took them down for physical maintenance.
liamwb ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:10:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I'm helping friends at school (we all have Mac computers), I often find myself asking when they last rebooted, and they ALL go: 'ummm, like yesterday...'. So what I do is say in my best know-how voice 'okay then...', open up terminal and type in 'uptime', literally the only command I know, and every time they are lying. Every. Single. Time. Ugh...
Azzizzi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:17:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I listen to guys troubleshoot firewall rules like this.
Firewall guy: Okay, renew your IP address, then try again.
User: Okay, I just did and it still fails.
Firewall guy: Really? I didn't see it come across. Try it again.
User: Okay. I did. It failed.
Firewall guy: You did? Try again.
User: Okay. Done.
Firewall guy: You did it?
User: Yeah. I just did it.
Firewall guy: After I asked you?
User: Yep.
Firewall guy: Okay, call me back when you're connected to the network again. The packets aren't coming across and it's working all the way to the router.
User: My computer's working. I can get to the Internet.
Firewall guy: But you refreshed your IP?
User: Yep.
Firewall guy: Call me back when you can tell the truth.
User: Okay, wait. Let me try. [30 second pause] Okay. I did it.
Firewall guy: There. Now I saw it. Why didn't you do that before?
User: I did.
Firewall guy: Goodbye. Have someone else call me back, not you.
oh god. my friend never restarst his computer has 50+ tabs on Crom open 2 or 3 games open at once and wonders why his load times are so long in games. i tell him he should at the very least restart the thing once a week. nope to much effort.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just installed an SSD and did a clean install of Windows in my main rig yesterday, so I don't mind doing it anymore. On my old 7200rpm HDD it would take like 10 minutes to boot up and be fully useable.
Still better than back in the day when you could go make yourself some toast, digest it, take a nice long crap, and only then would it be ready.
That's obvious because you grew up in the age of malware and disk hording. In the 90s, it never took 10 minutes to boot up a computer unless there was something wrong, just like today. Your "old 7200rpm" is faster than the majority of HDDs in operation today.
DCMann2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:48 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude...your start up just had to be murder. When I was still using a 7200 RPM drive as my boot, it took like 2 minutes, tops, to be booted and sort through the typical startup crap.
Well this is my PC that I built in 2011, so it has all of high school and more worth of random programs and other shit slowing it down. Back then I wasn't smart about containing the amount of shit that opens on startup.
Takes me about 6-8 minutes to be usable on a 7200rpm, Windows 10.
I have a lot of startups though, Steam, Origin, Battlenet, uPlay, GOG Galaxy..
I like being able to just click a game icon and it starts. Any game at any time.
D8-42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same for me, before it was like an ordeal to do, now though it's just like "Oh you wanna restart right now? Sure thing, I don't mind waiting 20 seconds for you to do that"
I have a 5400 RPM HDD, and my boot time is around 3 minutes until every application and everything loaded up - windows is up in less then one minute. The problem was you, not the hardware :)
My best one was a guy who told me he restarted his computer for sure as I needed to do some work on it.
I connect remotely and he is still logged in. I asked him about this on the phone and he wasn't being very helpful, just kept saying no he has definitely restarted his machine etc. I just assume he did it out of habit after the restart and log him out then carry on with what I needed to do. I finish up and give it a restart again to apply the changes I made.
Dude calls me back and starts screaming about how he just lost hours of work because I restarted his machine and he would be getting his manager involved and that I.T. would be paying for the lost work.
I asked him how he could possibly have lost any work if he had already restarted his machine before I connected to it. I mentioned he would have either already lost it when he restarted, or he would have saved it before restarting as the application he was using forces you to save when closing.
I also informed him the only other possibility is he was lying to me when he assured me multiple times that he restarted his machine and that was on him, but I was perfectly happy to talk to any manager he wanted to involve in the discussion.
I've had so many interactions like that, someone wants a printer driver setup I get permission to remote in. Install the driver and test print something.
Ask them if the test page came out and they say yes, tell them to have a nice day and hang up, resolve the ticket.
2 hours later they've escalated the same incident (reopened) to management saying that they lost all their work. I just pull the system logs and show that I only installed a printer, didn't touch any other applications etc.
Then I check their temp folders and find the excel or word doc they were working on backed up, change the extension and viola they have it again.
Call their manager and explain that they never saved the file, but I was able to retrieve a backup, then I recommend that they take an introductory class..
Xomnik ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:42:26 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just a small dumb question. How often should I restart my computer?
I'm on it at 8 am and on and off till 12 so just keep it on. Or should I just turn it off at the end of every day? I just leave my work up so I don't have to get it up in the morning.
Now of course I update when it's needed and restart when things need it, but I'm wondering if maybe it's bad to keep it on all the time...
Turning it off at the end of the day is fine, hell, turning it off once a week is okay too. I typically turn my work laptop off every night once I finish using it and my personal computer gets rebooted during update installs.
Ugh my in-laws are like this... Like brother and sister-in-law, not parents. I don't know how they survive in this world. They used to just leave the desktop on all the time. The fans were going crazy and made it hard to sleep because they kept it in the guest room. They don't have a computer right now because he always breaks laptops when he gets mad at them.
I like that he breaks them when he gets mad at them. When we get rid of old laptops I like to take them out to the firing range and set them up. The owner thinks it's hysterical seeing a bunch of tech's punishing old equipment.
But that's just awesome. His still works, he just gets impatient. His computer probably gets malware or a virus, slows down, then dies a violent death rather than getting fixed.
Thank god we have the ability to remote into most of our computers. The number of 'computer that won't turn on' that I've managed to solve over the phone is a bit sad.
I work in ISP Tech Support, in an area, where minor power fluctuations are common. The fluctuations cause the DSL modems, and 3rd party routers, to loose their logical connection. They connections actually show as being up from our side, but we can't login to the modem/routers, and customers can't get online. We ask them if they have restarted, and they claim that they have. The blade they are connected to says they've been connected for days on end. We ask them to restart again, and they make a big deal about it, then say they have done it, and the connection never dropped. Hell, half the time I think they just turned off their monitor and turned it back on. Once we can get them to find the modem/router, they can finally get back online, but some days, it is a struggle.
Had a friend of mine ask for computer help, told him to swing by my place when he had the time, he walked in carrying his monitor and told me to work my magic.
I then had to spend thirty minutes explaining to him how the monitor wasn't the computer.
I suppose in his defense he may have grown up with those macs that were a monitor and tower all in one, but I can't help but wonder just what he thought that big, computer-looking object he unhooked the monitor from was.
Funny, I've seen them turn their monitors off and back on again thinking that was a reboot.
Also had a nurse who said her monitor was stolen, get to the location and see that the laptop is closed. I open it up and she get's wide eyed and asks how did I do that?
It was extremely difficult not to laugh, then her co-worker said it's a laptop, it's suppose to be portable that's why you can close the screen.
I never thought about IT support being able to view logs of this. I work at a large supermarket chain and our IT support is based overseas. I lie about restarting my computer most of the time because it never fixes my issue and I want them to just create the damn ticket and escalate it to the responsible team.
We know, I use a remote support tool called Dameware NT utilities, I can view system logs, uptime, current running processes, start and stop services, etc.
My mom is 75, sent her my old PC and created a little how to video for her. She says she loves the video because she gets to see my face (we are half a country away).
For Christmas I'm sending her a web cam and having my brother install it.
Nice, I think the longest I've seen a machine up for (windows that is) was 300+ days. They only used it to show patient schedules for surgery, but still 300+ days without a reboot and you wonder why it's not working.
Had a client demand to have the sonicwall firewall password just in case he had to find a new company to provide support.
The bonehead opened up the file sharing ports so people from the internet could map to the servers and access data. 200 computers, and 4 servers had to be reinstalled from scratch and the data from tape because they got the nimda worm.
It took me and one other guy 72 hours straight billing at 120 an hour. Changed the firewall password and wrote up a contract guaranteeing them that I would provide all passwords and documentation should they no longer need our services.
He realized how bad he screwed up that he gave us bonuses for pulling a 72 hour stint and saving his company.
They've probably just logged out and logged in again. I'm admin and unofficial tech support in a healthcare unit, so my coworkers are less than computer literate (fair enough, they do great with the patients!). One of the things I've had to pick up on is how much they'll need to restart (program, thin client connection, login, computer) and then even worse, how to explain it to each staff member. My god.
Yep, same deal here, and using virtual apps and explaining that they have to log in under their profile to see the applications. They keep asking why, and I keep explaining that it's based on your AD credentials, if you are not logged in as you, then the apps will not be there.
I have a decent memory and have to use different passwords for different systems.
My favorite way to create passwords is to remember the lyrics to your favorite song, take the first letter from the first 7 words then add an arbitrary number and special character (like a dollar or percent sign).
Makes it easier to remember since I remember the songs lyrics.
I hate when customers get defensive when asked if they restarted their computer. I've gotten to where I prepare for backlash before asking that question.
Actually I don't even get defensive, I just remote into the computer, bring up task manager and add the CPU time to the list and they can't even argue with me.
We recently added BGIinfo to all the machines, it shows uptime, disk usage and the computer name as well.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
how do you see how long a computer has been powered on for? I'm curious about my own usage.
I recently found out a lady I work with NEVER turns off her laptop. She keeps it in her bag turned on, travels with it turned on.
I came into the office and she was trying to figure out why nothing was working for her. I asked if she'd already tried restarting and she said "Oh, it's too much of a pain to turn it off and on. It takes too long". For the record, all of our work laptops have an SSD so start up is quick.
I asked when the last time she restarted was. "oh, maybe 2 months ago" I told her to restart and if it still wasn't working I'd take a look at it. She never came to get me.
The computers at my job are virtually always on; I reboot as soon as I get to a position and blow my coworkers away with how my set rarely has any issues and generally runs more smoothly.
They probably don't know/understand the difference between reboot vs suspend to RAM.
MJBrune ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:06:07 on October 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know this thread is long dead but it's good to point out that on windows 10 machines a reboot doesn't actually mean a reboot. If you shutdown your computer from the start menu and hit the power button to turn it back on then run CMD->systeminfo it will not show the computer rebooted at all.
This is because windows hibernates instead to get faster boot times.
And by the time you turn the monitor on for them, they've already pressed literally every single button except the monitor power button. The PC of course having accepted all these inputs and entered into an entirely new and unprecedented state that resembles something out of lovecraftian horror and requires six hours, two OS rollbacks and 15GB of driver downloads to fix.
I was about to say this. Sometimes I see people turn on monitors and think it should auto power on the PC right next to them. This was before laptops were common
I actually called my friend in IT because my new computer I built wasn't getting to the Bios screen. Turns out I mistakenly plugged the monitor into the graphics card when I should've plugged it into the mother board. It's not my fault the youtube video tutorial didn't go over it :(
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, but that's forgivable. A lot of people make that mistake, just be glad your motherboard had onboard video. A lot of people order them without it because they're also ordering a video card and then shit themselves when they find out their video card needs drivers to work and they're going to need a cheap simple $10 vga pcie card to get everything working at first.
axtumn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:18 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in middle school about 12-14 years ago, our computer teacher told us a story of the time when CD's were still relatively new, and 1.44MB floppies were still widespread. He had a student who knew jack, and his mother had to help him with everything. Once, when doing a project, he had to do some work at home. It was saved on one of these floppies. When he brought it to school for editing or uploading or whatever, he didn't know how to load it onto the computer. So he tore open the case and placed the magnetic disc into the CD tray, and tried it that way.
dorekk ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 05:38:03 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kevin kept a bottle of orange koolaide in his backpack for about 4 months. He thought it would turn into alcohol. He drank it during homeroom and threw up.
My god. Amazing.
Kevin didn't know dogs and cats were different animals.
I once tutored a class of first year university students on basic computer usage (1994 from memory). One girl complained the computer kept spitting her 3.5" disc out. She'd put the label sticker right across the top of the disc, taping the sliding gate shut in the process.
When I read "when I was a middle schooler 12-14 years ago" I was like, "well that's not fair, everyone was computer illiterate in 1992. This guy must be some hotshot who's been on computers and is now 40. Then I realized that 12-14 years ago is exactly when I was in middle school.
Only slightly related, but I've done something similarly stupid. As a kid I couldn't get Batman to play on the VCR and told my grandma. She asked me to bring her the VCR to see what was wrong with it. Of course she meant the remote, but I, being the diligent and attentive grandson that I was, pulled that fucker, cords and all, from the TV stand and brought it to her in the kitchen.
ChaiHai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:51:12 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We were still using floppies in school about 10 years ago.
dorekk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:28 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The fuck? Seriously? I started working in IT ten years ago and I'm confident that a floppy disk had not been used in the building for at least five years before that.
The older pcs in my high-school now still have the parts for floppy disks and yes 10 years ago usbs were expensive and not everyone had them. I think know I was one of the few and this is the uk. People just used Cds or floppies.
dorekk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:06 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe computing technology in the UK was several years behind the US. I haven't personally used, or seen anyone use, a floppy since the late 90s.
I mean, don't the normal operating procedures for most devices involve ripping them apart? I rip my car door off every time I want to go somewhere. There's no reason to think that was the wrong approach.
Saeta44 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:22:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Assuming he didn't magnetize it somehow, you could still make it work if you were stupid careful to get it back into a case and then tape that case back together right. Did this once. Absolutely horrible but it worked.
I remembered a time when I blew a month's worth of savings for a 256 MB flash drive.
That was back in middle school 9 years ago.
I now have a 16 GB flash drive that costed half that and fits inside my wireless mouse. And flash drives keep shrinking in size and expanding in capacity.
I've had the fun job of getting 3.5" disks out of 5.25" drives, and in one case, someone had noticed a gap between the A and B drives, and that was where the 5.25" disk got inserted.
I had a professor once who, while he was projecting his screen to the class, typed "Google" into the Google search bar in his browser, then clicked the Google result he got, then typed in "Images" into Google, then clicked Google Images, then searched for what he was looking for. We were all sitting there, mouths agape.
tombue ยท 1842 points ยท Posted at 02:33:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's something I would do as a teacher just to fuck with the students.
Dilski ยท 362 points ยท Posted at 09:46:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Our equivalent will be turning on a holoprojector and having to deactivate the countless naked clones of Emma Stone that appear throughout the room repeating phrases about how our father was wrong about us.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:05:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL my whole life is a lie.
tombue ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:08:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess half of the cringey stuff teachers do is on purpose. It varies from teacher to teacher and on the subject for each (old teachers are more likely to genuinely fuck up with computers than young teachers for example).
If you want to 1-up it. You have to google, google. Then copy and paste the URL before the search result into the URL bar, and repeat to get to wherever you want.
tombue ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:23:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think I should become a teacher. I'd be in my late twenties/early thirties, but people know I grew up with computers so I should have the knowledge.
It'll just make them freak out even more when they know I do that for 25 years already.
Do it, just to harass children with being able to actually use a computer in the sense of doing the tasks you want. But in the most painful, arduous ways possible. I learnt from the thread that you can actually type a URL into your file explorer to load up a webpage so you could definitely annoy them with that!
tombue ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:32:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then, one day, I start a rant about Windows, bring my laptop/tablet to school with some weird ass linux without GUI and use that.
If students ask, I just tell them that's the way we did it back in my days (especially funny if I'd teach 20 year olds).
So my brother-in-law was trying to participate in a conference call. The person leading the call was telling people to type a specific URL into their web browsers, and to then hit ENTER, which presumably would bring them to a specific website. A perfect storm of errors on my BIL's part caused him to look pretty idiotic to the rest of the people on the call.
He'd asked me to make his home page Google. No problemo;
He'd somehow hit the FKey in IE to make the URL bar vanish;
So the only place he had to type in a URL was the Google search bar itself;
Which he did, as instructed ("Type this in the box at the top of the screen...");
Which resulted not in going to the URL the call leader wanted, but to a search result page;
Which looked nothing like what the call leader was describing;
AND my BIL does not have the vocabulary to describe. He is THE single most illiterate computer person I have ever experienced who uses a computer 8 hours a day. It's almost like it's a challenge with him to remain this illiterate. I feel for the guy.
I watched a co-worker of mine open internet explorer, use his default search, which was Bing, to search for Google, then click in the link for Google, and then he fucking searched for Google maps.
His default search engine is now Google, and we had a long talk about how to look for things on the internet.
Confessions: I do the first half all the time. I'll open a new tab and go to google knowing full well I could just search it in the Url bar in the new tab.
I go to google.com it's weird because either way I only don't in desktop. I think it has to do with using computers at work that usually default to Bing or some other sub par search.
Professor struggles to exit by clicking outside of box which does not work.
Whole class: You have to click the X
Professor slowly clicks X of maximized screen outside of dialogue box.
Whole class: no on the box.
Professor slowly slides cursor all the way to the left side of the screen and clicks aimlessly.
Whole class: no the right side.
Prof slowly goes all the way to the right clicking aimlessly.
Whole class: no right side of the box
Professor finally gets it. It was a nice 15 minutes tho.
Also we signed up for presentations thru out the semester and people's name have disappeared and reappeared because each time we tell him a topic or something he doesn't know how to save properly so he had like 100 copies of the same file with different edits.
Or possibly troll-face, which I was going to link but I'm on mobile and already went through the hassle of linking one thing so fuck you, you know what troll-face looks like.
Oh man I had a teacher who was awful at googling stuff. He'd find videos he wanted to show the class but didn't know how to bookmark then. He'd spend half the class trying to find it by searching stuff like "educational spanish video about nouns. man wore funny hat that was green". It was the most frustrating thing to watch ever.
CWHats ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:38:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I experienced something similar it went like this
Go to Yahoo and type in Google > click on Google > type "email" in search bar > click on Gmail in search results > log into Gmail
Was he talking to the class at the same time? Because this sounds like the type of thing I would do when I was only about 1% concentrating on what I was doing on the computer and 99% concentrating on talking to someone.
I had a professor who's projected computer screen was always a jumble of overlapping windows and files and programs. She would cut 5-10 minutes into the beginning of class to try to organize her shit. There were several instances where she 'lost' a window and my classmates and I watched in agony as she repeatedly clicked on the file of the window that was right in front of her face. I only got a decent grade in that class because of all the excused grades due to 'technical difficulties.'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:48:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of one of my professors. The entire class was watching YouTube videos about jazz music. He called it jazz history but all we did was watch videos. Well anyways Google has ads setup so that they are tuned to what you were previously looking at. One of the ads that popped up was 'hot single Asians near you'. He was either fapping on the school computer or using to find dates.
I had a professor who thought to get to google chrome you had to open up internet explorer and then click on the chrome icon back on the home screen... I'm so happy he's just a history professor.
An older lady wanted to show us what the Kuching Mosque looked like so we could find the bus stop, so she typed into Google "Picture of Kuching Mosque", instead of searching Kuching Mosque on Google Images. Bless.
Could have blown his mind by creating a shortcut for images (right-click address bar / edit search engines. Set "i" as shortcut for Google Images). Useful for Imdb, Wikipedia, etc.
TimoCT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This still happens a lot. So, so many times I see friends typing "Facebook" on the address bar without realizing a simple .com would bring them to the page they want, or even just using one of the history suggestions!
Im sorry but I do that. Its actually quicker than searching through all the options. Just click in the address bar and type "images" then click the result to google images.
I sometimes go to google.com and then search even though there's a search bar implemented in my browser.
joshi38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend who typed "Google" into the address bar in Chrome, then when this page turned up, clicked on the first result, and then proceeded to do a search.
Basically, he skipped two Google search bars to get to the one he wanted. This friend of mine is a programmer, maybe a couple of years older than me, but otherwise perfectly functional as a computer user, even built his own and his girlfriends computers, this just appeared to be a slight blip for him, but man was it funny.
Both of my parents do this and it drives me crazy. I got them to accept Chrome finally but they always google Google to search for something even though I tell them every time.
OMG my history teacher would do that EVERY FUCKING TIME. We all used to laugh at him under our breaths. Some say he my high school's first powerlifter, and the last teacher to stop using a typewriter.
my 70 yr old coworker the other day used his iphone to 411 a company he was looking for the number too. I asked him if he just used a smart phone to 411, and hes like yea whatever it costs $2. I showed him how to use google and his mind was blown.
TooM3R ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On auto-pilot mode, I once searched google in google search bar, clicked on google, and then just went to google through my bookmarks. No idea how it happend. There were witnesses.
I'm somewhat computer savvy I'll do this on my computer occasionally. But when on a computer illiterate PC I'll always do this. Never know when Yahoo had somehow became default.
Last semester I watched a grown-ass man go to google.com, type "Google search" into Google's search bar, and proceed to his actual search query from there.
In highschool our computers had bing as the default search bar and you couldnt change it so me and my friends just for a laugh used to bing yahoo, yahoo ask jeeves, ask jeeves bing and finally bing google
The teachers who type the whole long web address into Google Search kill me
TordYvel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:34:06 on November 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad used to type www.google.com, and once there, search for "www.hotmail.com" and click the first search result. To him, Google was integral to the operations of the computer and internet. And as long as this worked, he saw no reason to do it any other way.
Raibean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man: The Google Images I am trying to Google came out all wrong.
Admin: Alright, what did you try to Google?
Man: SIR, I am NOT a Google person so I don't know.
Admin: Uh OK well you Googled the image from the internet so what file type is it?
Man: I don't know what it is!
Admin: Well how did you find the image? What keywords are you typing in?
Man: SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A GOOGLE PERSON AND YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP
I helped someone clear up a computer once. Ran malwarebytes and it erased over 14,000 malicious programs. It takes like 30 minutes to boot up. How the fuck do people have the patience for that?
My Linux install had actually run into an issue where it boots too fast. It loads the display manger before the GPU is ready, so my login screen is just black and I need to switch VTs and switch back to get it to display.
Don't patronise me, I'm not an idiot. I have a Sandisk Ultra Plus SSD dual booting Kubuntu and Windows 10. Sure the motherboard takes a good long while to get to the bootloader, but both Kubuntu and Windows 10 take about a minute to go from the bootloader to the login screen.
Saying you have an i5 without specifying the generation doesn't really mean anything... it's why large scale manufacturers can advertise an i7 with 16 gb RAM and sell it for $1k while skimping on the GPU or using a lower quality SSD.
Your CPU is definitely bottlenecking if your computer is slow, though I don't know what GPU you have. Shouldn't affect boot up time though since I assume your OS is on the SSD..
Well.... My computer actualy boots up faster than my monitor... This is due to that stupid acer screen it wants to display upon monitor startup...
Now that I think about it, I have not even seen what the bootup process looks like.
if i press the power buttons on my pc and monitor at the same time the monitor readies up JUST SECONDS (like, 2 of them) before my password screen pops up.
Old machines are very capable especially if you play old games. If your needs don't evolve over time neither does the required specs for a pc
OddKSM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:23:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have the reverse problem, my pc shuts down quicker than I can turn off my screen, sending it into auto-source mode resulting in it taking maybe ten extra seconds to turn everything off. Woe is me!
(Funny, how I used to have to turn on my pc before I made breakfast for it to be ready when I came back.)
Yeah, you've never worked with Windows NT 4.0. The old machines at my office used to take a solid 15 minutes to boot when they were clean. I had enough time not only to go get a cup of coffee, but make a whole new pot and wash all the dishes in the break room every time I had to reboot.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:26:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I purchased a so-called instant on computer in 2014. It would go from hitting the on button to wanting my password in well under 3 seconds. Now it's a bit older it takes 20 seconds and I find that annoying.
I had a computer that you had to turn on, leave for 30 minutes, reboot, and it would then boot.
If you were to restart it from there, you would again have to wait 30 minutes.
Back in the good ol Win 3.1 days.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My laptop takes about 20 minutes or more if it's booting from a dead battery. This wouldn't be a problem if the battery weren't fucked up and didn't drain no matter what state it is left in, even off. So basically if my computer goes a day with out being used but with out being plugged into its charger is a pain in the ass. My parents don't get this and unplug it all the time. I need a new laptop but can't afford one and have a great desktop.
Ran malwarebytes and it erased over 14,000 malicious programs.
I was unofficial IT for a small business. Basically, just me and my boss were the only employees.
Anyway, one day his kids were not in school, so instead of paying for a babysitter or daycare, he let them come to the office and hang out. They got the laptop to play games on so they'd leave him alone to work.
A couple of hours in, they approach me and tell me it's not working.
I go check it out.
It actually locked up due to the amount of malware that had been downloaded and installed during that time. I had to do a hard reboot.
This was back in the days when Firefox was really super new and Chrome didn't exist, and ad-blocker stuff was really rudimentary. You went to the wrong sites, and shit completely kicked your computers' ass.
So once it rebooted (which took forever because a lot of this malware started itself up on boot) I ran Spybot Search and Destroy. It returned thousands upon thousands of entries for malware. Then I ran Ad Aware, and it picked up ADDITIONAL stuff Spybot S&D didn't catch.
They only had this laptop for a few hours at most, and completely LOCKED IT UP during that timeframe. I was amazed. But maybe I shouldn't have been.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:50:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grandparents had dial up until about 2010.
Grandpa would press power button, go take a dump, make himself a sandwich, and then sit down in time for the computer to turn on, sandwich in hand.
hicow ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:10:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I rebuilt a desktop for a co-worker's father a while back. I was speculating on what the hell was wrong with it when it took half an hour or so to get to the desktop. Turned out to be 6 or 7 different A/V programs fighting with each other. I didn't even try to clean it up. Nuke and pave, install Avast, done.
My girlfriend's mum does that to her computer repeatedly. When the poor machine was about 6 months old she complained it was running a bit slow, so i went with the usual malwarebytes/ccleaner combo. The final tally was 17,500 results in MWB, and 32GB in CC. Watching the results add up, i was somewhere between tears and maniacal cackling because i couldn't believe what i was seeing.
I once got this 3-for-one deal on my security system, and I shared it with my parents. My computer-illerate dad's wasn't so bad, since he does pretty much nothing but email, and I taught him how to avoid spam. My mom's though.... my God. She had always complained about it being slow, but I thought it was just because we live in the country and it was an old model. The security scan found 18,000 "problems." Granted, those can be super small, but with the sheer numbers, you know there were probably hundreds of seriously malicious programs on there. Thank God my parents did their taxes on my faster computer.
svennnn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:39:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because many people don't know any different and assume that's "just how it is".
I used malwarebytes to remove over 7,500 infected files on my buddies computer once, though over the years I've removed well over ten or fifteen thousandth infected files from that machine...
I don't even understand how you can come across that many viruses without going looking for them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The most I have ever cleaned off was 2500
Auroren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had a very similar situation with my friend. A few years ago, his computer was running extremely slow and so we ran Malwarebytes and it found like 10,000 (don't remember the exact number) viruses. We still joke about it to this day lol
Not to defend that level of passivity, but... I was on dial up until a couple years ago, and mostly made do with old towers I got in free piles over the years because I couldn't afford much. So...30 minute waits weren't all that bad.
If that's the way it was, that's one thing, but I guarantee that this machine could boot up in a minute or two when it was bought, but now... Especially since it would crash regularly
The current record for my workplace for MBAM is close to 300,000. (Not at work, cannot obtain exact number) - it took two shifts for a total of about 15 hours before completing.
agoia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man....had a referral customer complain that their Gateway machine they purchased at Costco six years ago was "starting to run a little slow."
This machine had never, ever been maintained. They had no original media for a reinstall, and were adamant that I just "fix it" rather than wipe and reinstall.
Their %TMP% directory.... I am not making this up ... took four days (96 hours) to delete. A rmdir /s is what I used....four DAYS.
I then installed CCleaner and showed them how to use it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:42:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to help my dad's girlfriend fix her computer once. Her taskbar was coming from the right hand side of the screen and took up half the screen.
That's hilarious, but why the fuck would Microsoft allow people to change it like that? They suck at design.
Furoan ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:18:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why? It's been part of windows since windows 95. It makes as much sense to have a vertical task bar as it does a horizontal taskbar. You can have the horizontal taskbar take up half the screen if you really want as well, if for some reason you want rows of sticky icons/folders there.
GlueR ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:51:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because Windows is less foolproof than MacOS and more foolproof than most Linux distros.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:52:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep my Dad did that with mine whilst I was on holiday. I never knew that was a thing until Dad.
exelion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of the client companies my last employer used to support did that all the time, to where the in house knowledge base had a ticket template for it.
I was just told the registers at my work broke down because "a fan was running and the games on the computer gave it a virus". No Steph, the preloaded games by Microsoft do not have viruses and the fan doesn't affect the computer in anyway.
[deleted] ยท 1769 points ยท Posted at 01:15:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm somewhat fine with the games, because we shouldn't be playing them on the registers anyways. However they said that a simple tabletop fan was slowing down or affecting the PC the registers run on, which is absurd
Tabletop fans cause enough of a turbulence that it can offset the CPU fan just enough that it reverses the polarity of the processor. This of course leads to data corruption and at times the computer will display similar symptoms to that of a virus. Don't quote me on this though, my professor was a broom.
[deleted] ยท 530 points ยท Posted at 10:26:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This doesn't seem right but I ALREADY TOLD YOU IM NOT A COMPUTER PERSON SO IM HANGING UP NOW.
Do people honestly think this is funny and upvote it? Maybe the first time it was a meta joke but this is easily the 30th meta reference to the same thread I've seen with 100 points usually I don't comment on this type of stuff but today it's out of control
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:45:50 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm So Meta Even This Acronym.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
infez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:30 on August 20, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Metc?
aaiaac ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 08:20:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
j6cubic ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 11:20:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can easily tell if processor polarity has been reversed by running a level five diagnostic of the level one cache and multi-modal reflection sorting will take care of the data corruption. What's much harder to detect is a cosmic ray-induced bit flip cascade in the DRAM array, especially if the cosmic ray has ionized your data. In that case all you have left is to configure the 802.11 adapter to emit a polaron beam with a frequency of 47 MHz, which might help.
Source: Just got my A+++ certificate from Starfleet Academy.
Haha, idiot. The 802.11 adapter emits a 49MHz polaron beam, not 47MHz. What kind of Starfleet Academy did you go to?
j6cubic ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:04:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The one where you learn that by modulating the power flow on the PSU's 12V rail you can shift the 802.11 adapter's emission spectrum by up to 2.4 MHz in either direction.
Power Modulation 101's an optional course, though, so not everyone who goes for A+++ knows that.
The computer is below the table and the fan is above, the fan doesn't blow air onto it.
beeblud ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:52:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum and dad were trying to stream something on their Amazon fire stick whilst I was upstairs drying my hair, and it wasn't working. Blamed it on the hairdryer.
Yeah unless the fan can use Twitter it's not gonna affect the computer
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:30:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a call back in the 90s that the fan was blowing the pages of a word document. The fan was too close to the CRT monitor and the magnetic field was disrupting the display so that it looked like the fan was blowing the pages of a book.
chux4w ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:46:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The fan could kill the PC if it was set to sleep mode. And Korean.
My dad is great at this. My first laptop was absolutely awful, didn't have antivirus protection or anything. When it inevitably got a virus, he blamed "all the crap [I] download off of Reddit and Steam."
Something similar came up in a conversation a few days ago. He actually said "gamers are smart, so they know how to put viruses on games."
TheHeita ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:16:53 on September 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What can you download off of reddit, just out of curiosity
That myth has a slight basis in reality because of all the viruses and trojans spread by P2P. Little Timmy pirates a game and now the computer has popups.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:53:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My family and friends families did that. At which point I asked them if they scan email attachments with the virus scanner they must have installed. Then I tell them they are at fault when they always say no.
I was playing solitaire on my grandma's computer and then turned it off. Got a call the next day insisting I had messed up her computer, when all I did was play solitaire, and she blamed the game for messing up her computer. My uncle (her son) looked at her computer and discovered two things. It had 512mb of ram, and a cracked motherboard.
Fuck oath. Every problem on my parent's computer was caused by the games me and my brothers installed. This mode of thought carried on for years until I finally got my own half-decent computer. They quickly stopped using it as it reason.
Seriously. When I was a kid I played on Newgrounds a lot, and when our computer got really slow (it was old, they never shut it down, and would get mad at me when I shut it down), my parents thought Newgrounds was giving it viruses and told me I had to stop playing on it.
In reality, the browser had four or five layers of sketchy toolbars, and they certainly weren't from me.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:27:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously. What Steph meant was that the games on the computer gave the fan a virus, which made it blow the bad air that ruined the computer's Windows.
My dad once blamed Morrowind for giving our computer a virus. My brother eventually explained that it was actually my father's frequent pornography consumption on sketchy fucking websites.
Those weren't mines, those were dormant viruses that have now awoken!
BizzyM ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:43:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My store manager unplugged the handheld barcode scanner because "it causes cancer".
SMTTT84 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:50:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in 2002 when our computer was running slow my step dad would blame all the music I had downloaded which usually resulted in heated arguments. No dad, its not the music, its the virus I downloaded along with the music.
I work as a lead tech at Lowe's and a fan on the same circuit as the registers can affect point of sale devices. We have dedicated power just for these devices that are color coded, people still can't figure it out and plug fans and other various things into them all the time
In high school, if you had a fan running too close to a monitor (it must've been an old cathode one, but I can't remember for sure), it would somehow interfere with the monitor. It looked like the monitor had just dropped acid.
This reminds me of a truly legendary customer from when I worked in the call center for my VoIP company.
So this lady worked for a super sketchy company that would send you a phone and pay you based on how many tickets you closed. If you closed no tickets, you didn't get paid for your full shift. Anyway, this lady - let's call her Pam - has issues with her sound. She can hardly hear anything.
So one of our techs calls Pam and starts working with her - they test her network, the whole nine yards, get some call examples. All the while, Pam is practically yelling at them and telling them they can barely hear her, and they can hear her fine. What they can also hear, quite loudly, is a fan. They ask Pam to turn off her fan.
She can't - there's no A/C in her office. Can she try, they ask, just in case? She does. Suddenly, she can hear the tech on the phone. Everything is crystal clear. But she can't just move the fan off her desk (wut) or move it further away from the phone or turn it off, she says. She couldn't breathe, because it would be too damp.
So the call ends, begrudgingly. We get another ticket - Pam is now having issues with echo. As it turns out, without the fan on, Pam's voice is now echoing around the room, and she can't hear herself think because sometimes it echoes back through the phone, too. Isn't there anything we can do to fix the echo?
We proceeded to get about eight more tickets from Pam, each leading back to a loud fan or a bare wooden room echoing back her voice, and then nothing for about two years. Two years later, she has an audio issue. We go through the testing. This time, it's the microphone - that she spilled water on.
Oh, Pam.
tl;dr: VoIP customer has loud fan. Turns out the fan covered up the echo from her bare, damp office. Opens up multiple tickets for audio issues because of it.
cwigs96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:52 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I heard a story once about an ancient mainframe's memory getting corrupted because there was a pencil sharpener attached to the same power strip as the mainframe. The sharper was causing power fluctuations within the power strip, and when memory was being written, that messed things up.
I'm not trying to say that's possible, but I'm not trying to say it's not either
If I may ask, what are you doing on a thread that's 3 months old?
cwigs96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:46 on November 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was on another thread and got linked here; somebody was referencing the SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU I'M NOT A COMPUTER PERSON thing. I started scrolling down and reading other comments, and one thing led to another.
[deleted] ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 06:13:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, fans provide ventilation for computers by directing airflow through heatsinks. This allows the computer to run for extended periods of time without failing due to heat.
vededju ยท 5514 points ยท Posted at 19:56:26 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom trying to calculate her medical expenses for tax purposes. She went through her pile of bills and typed the amount from each bill into an excel sheet. She then printed off the sheet and used a calculator to find the total.
HotTyre ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:22:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes you have to activate it by right-clicking in the bottom of the window and selecting which options you want displayed, it also has min, max, average...
zangor ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 12:04:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just don't select gastrointestinal.
bumps- ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 14:32:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
True but I'm wondering how you found this comment... I mean the post is 57 days old. Were you searching for a specific topic and stumbled upon this? Genuinely curious.
I don't think this was a feature prior to Office 2007 however (Office 2003, Office XP, and Office 97 were the prior versions).
saveid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is a function, smartass.
Azzizzi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:55:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a function in the sense that you're teaching someone a function of the program, but not a function in the sense that it means in Excel. A function in Excel would be something like this:
=sum(A1:A15)
I wasn't trying to be a smartass. I think showing someone how to do something by selecting the right cells is infinitely better than trying to teach them how to do functions.
saveid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:26:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I meant smartass in a good way, thanks for being calm about it too, hf gl.
Azzizzi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you took precalc (my school's "dumb track" hits it by senior year) you likely vaguely remember the jagged E thing. (Sigma) - highlight, then hit the "math class PTSD button" for the sum.
He could TRY but if shes anything like my mom you show her something 20 times, even make a printscreen slideshow of what she has to do, and she will STILL not be able to figure it out. Ugh. Uggghhhhh.
I had a similar situation about 12 years ago. My dad was running a charity evening and had an Excel spreadsheet of people who had bought what type and how many tickets, how much they'd paid etc.
It was all calculated manually - no formulae. So if someone had bought 4 adult tickets at ยฃ3.99 each and 2 child tickets at ยฃ1.50 each, there would be a cell containing the total that would just have ยฃ18.96 manually typed in rather than =(B2*(3.99))+(C2*(1.5)) or similar.
Quite easy to fix. I even gave him an automatically updating cell which just did SUM to get the total amount sold and total money raised.
For the record, I don't know how to do this. I am computer savvy. I would just google it in this situation but up until recently I didn't realize you could do math in excel as I just never had to use it in school thus far.
pro tip--there are a lot of white collar jobs that use Excel. If you are planning to work in an office some day, learn basic Excel functions before you start. Even if you don't retain all of it, it'll make it easier to google it later when you need it.
You may not find the need , but not only using it, but making the presentation look more purposeful is important. After ten years in IT, my company transferred me into data analyst and I've learned a great deal even though I'm looking for a job back in IT now. Definitely a marketable skill.
Make headers large enough, color code areas of importance, use bold strategically.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:52:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Excel is by far the most useful computer program in my personal life and career as an Engineer. I use it more than anything else.
News flash: people use things differently than you.
You'll never have to deal with my spreadsheets so calm down.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:15:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Listen, I understand that. I get it.
But if you're actually doing data work as a career or professionally, you should not be doing it in excel. Excel is absolutely, 100%, not made for data and is terrible at working data. It's a spreadsheet/math program. Microsoft specifically created a separate program called Access to work with data, and it works great. If you work with data professionally, and you do it in Excel, you are doing it wrong and probably hurting your prospects long-term.
I'll tell my boss that, I'm sure he'll love to hear that what he does is horrible and awful.
I do what I'm told professionally. I also use excel at home for casual things. You should probably go cower on the corner for how absolutely awful I am.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:35:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whatever dude I'm just trying to help. You're probably losing non-trivial amounts of productivity by using the wrong tool for the job at hand.
And yes, you should tell your boss that, and begin migrating everything into Access. Because eventually, using Excel as a database will bite you in the ass. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it will happen, guaranteed.
I have done a lot of database stuff (I used to use FoxPro, a dBase clone only better) and I am forced to use Excel for a data a lot. I would love to be able to do queries in Excel. I have Access. I hate it, it's not the most intuitive program. But you can do queries!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. The business analytics team at my company has spreadsheets with several hundred thousand lines. And then they complain that spreadsheets are talking forever. We told them that using Access would likely alleviate the problems.
Nope. They decided to continue using these monstrous spreadsheets, and to also purchase a $12k "supercomputer" to "address the slowness."
Jesus Christ calm down I'm almost 20. I've literally never had to use excel except to make list when we were taught the bare minimums in middle school. I'm very good at using all the other MS programs.
I'm kind if shocked that by 20, you don't know excel is a math program. That's its function. Definitely look into some simple formulas, it's a really great program and if you go anywhere in the white collar world, you'll need to be at least proficient, if not intermediate.
it shouldn't be that hard to believe that I don't know a program after going through only US high school and one year of college.its not like I've actively avoided using it, I literally had one non required class in middle school where we made a list of NFL Quarterbacks and their stats. But let me tell you about one of the 10 books we had to annotate on every page of, or how when I finally took an economics class in senior year, we watched movies everyday. US high school is a joke that made me think I was ready to dive into a STEM field in college, I was wrong and now I don't even know what I want to do. This got too personal. But yeah, I don't know excel yet.
Sounds like your particular school system found STEM a joke...which is a disappointment because it drives every bit of technology and non-social progress we've ever known. I'm wondering if your school is in the bible belt. I was pissed off enough that my bible belt school never truly emphasized the importance of basic programming literacy since it will form an important part of all of our futures (and certainly can play a role in excel usage)...but I still extensively used Excel...not just for school with math and chemistry classes (a lot here since we had to graph equations from data) but also calculating expenses for things at home. It still boggles my mind that in the generation we're in with someone your age that you've never experienced Excel in such a way. And people wonder why there are arguments for better education. Fuck Bobby Jindal and all the like for ever giving education a backseat because cuts there are supposedly better to them than cuts anywhere else. I'm trying so hard not to label political parties right now...a more educated society only leads to a more developed society. How the fuck can they so selfishly not realize that. /rant
Don't worry, it's super easy to learn. I learned it in a weekend. It's actually pretty cool, I found out I can run regressions on this thing, and maintain small databases. It's kinda like am intro program to doing math/stats/database management. I was rather shocked when I interviewed for a data science job and they told me they only use excel, I didn't even know you could use excel for any of those things until very recently.
joshi38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's surprising to me. Not that I don't believe you, but I guess they just don't teach that stuff in school anymore (or didn't I'm not sure if you're older or younger than me). I was taught the basics of Excel, Word, Powerpoint and Access (yeah I know) at the age of around 14-15.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had an assistant that used a calculator to calculate the sales tax to enter into an accruals spreadsheet. She looked at me like I was a wizard when I showed her the formula of B1=A1*1.13.
A real call I got once:
Me: "Tax Support, how can I help you?"
Them: "I'm not able to find my taxes!"
Me: "Okay what are you using to calculate them?"
Them: "SIR, I am NOT a taz person so I don't know."
Me: "Do you know which program you're using?"
Them: "I don't know what that is!"
Me: "Okay, when you want to go to your files, are they green Xs, yellow folders, or..."
Them: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A TAX PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"
IGNORE ALL THE CROSSED OUT STUFF I'M LEAVING IT FOR CONTEXT IN CASE SOMEONE REPLIES
>A real call I got once: Me: "Tax Support, how can I help you?" Them: "I'm not able to find my taxes!" Me: "Okay what are you using to calculate them?" Them: "SIR, I am NOT a taz person so I don't know." Me: "Do you know which program you're using?" Them: "I don't know what that is!" Me: "Okay, when you want to go to your files, are they green Xs, yellow folders, or..." Them: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A TAX PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"
Someone asked me how to delete the contents of an Excel cell once.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In this same vein, my friends mom once hand wrote down the URLS of several funny videos she wanted him to see, and mailed them to him. As in, the actual mail.
I discovered that a coworker--an admin, no less--does this when he sent me a spreadsheet with a sum that was way off. Selected the cell. No formula. I goggled at him in horror and taught him how to do basic calculations on Excel. He was absolutely amazed. It's sad really because his boss is elderly and tyrannical, so who's going to teach him how this stuff works or tell him he's doing unnecessary labour?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I see shit like this at work all the time.
I didn't realise why so many office workers took forever to do everything until I started watching how people actually used computers.
They do things the same way they do stuff on paper, but on a computer. Makes me wonder why we even have computers for the majority of office users, buy them some legal pads and stationary, save yourself the money.
You know how the industrial revolution started with people doing things by hand then being given machines to save labour?
It would appear in the digital revolution the majority of people just lean on the machines to do their paperwork, they never really turned them on or learned how to use them.
It's the equivalent of a factory buying a million pound tube bender then clamping tube to it so you can bend it by hand. Or hiring a JCB to store your shovels in when you're not digging by hand.
Boggles the mind how far behind the service industry is compared to heavy industry.
Some years ago, I saw someone with some lists of numbers in Excel, carefully adding them up and typing in the result in the next column over. I leaned over and said "You know, you can just do this, it's faster." and typed in a formula and filled it down the whole column.
The other person's reaction: "This thing does Math?"
even as someone fairly computer literate, It took me so long to realize excel could do more than just contain things in the cells. I always assumed they were for just writing up a list or table for something with static numbers. Actually learning about functions and stuff made me realize i should probably take "know's how to use excel" off my resume.
That made me laugh - my Mother in Law likes to check Excel by doing the same thing - she doesn't trust excel and trusts her crappy transcription into a manual calculator
So, it's silly that she used a calculator when obviously it's so simple to get sums in Excel. But the kicker is, why did she print them out? She can just type them in the calculator right off the screen...
Oh I did something similar, I put all the numbers in the excel sheet. I was sure there was a way to get them all together so I looked it up, gave up, and did it by hand. At least I didn't print it!
Summer student we had asked me to show her how to sum a column in Excel. Spent two minutes showing her how. She said "Thanks, now I can put 'knows Excel' on my resume."
I've had many university students do similar things when they have to input lab data in to excel and calculate a bunch of stuff. First they calculate something on their calculators, input the numbers into various random cells, and then they use their calculators again to calculate whatever they're supposed to calculate next with those numbers, and on it goes.
To most people excel is just a giant notebook with squares you can type things in, and few schools teach proper exceliquette or any spreadsheeting at all :(
jajohns9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:52 on October 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother in law's job revolves around excel databases, but she will manually compare names and write down if they are the same or not, and keeps a calculator on her desktop for adding it all up. She gets really upset when I try to show her things like if statements or just functions in general.
I'm 16 and I'd not have printed it but still done that. They don't teach Excel in school anymore.
vededju ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:41 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let me give you a tip. You don't even need to do a formula. Just highlight all the numbers and at the bottom right of Excel it will have the average, count, and sum of the highlighted numbers.
I understand the point of your post, but what could be the difference in her mind between typing the numbers in Excel versus Word or Notepad? Just because she likes the automatic formatting of dollar signs and decimal points?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:16:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you don't even need to type anything, you can just select all the cells with numbers in them together, and it will show you the total in the bottom corner.
Not strictly a computer but years ago my Uncle called my dad on Christmas morning pretty pissed off:
"Ramrod312's dad, how the fuck do you get this damn playstation to work? I finally was able to save up and get one for the kids, but the fucking thing doesn't turn on. It's broken"
User: "Hey man, I'm having trouble logging in."
Me: "Did you check if the power cable is plugged in? Because if it's not plugged in, you won't be able to log in."
U: "Of course I checked that, I'm not an idiot."
M: "Alright, well I'll send someone over to check it out."
5 minutes go by. User calls back.
U: "Hey, I'm good now... The network cable was unplugged."
Zveng2 ยท 597 points ยท Posted at 01:22:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I learned pretty quickly when doing calls like that to simply ask if the cable was loose or something similar since if you ask if the cable was unplugged people get pissy. It makes them check and gives them an out so if it was unplugged they don't have to admit it to you.
My buddy used to work at a Dell Call center back in the Philippines. His last call was with a shitty old guy who wouldnt stop talking shit long enough to let him talk.
Finally the call was coming to a close, but he asked about CD burning.
$Bud
~ Alright Insert the CD into the drive
$Ahole
~ Okay its in
$Bud
~ Now drag and drop a file in the disk drive (walks him through the proccess)
$Ahole
~ I dont know how this is suppo- Its making noises
$Bud
~ (After it finishes) Alright now sniff the CD
$Ahole
~ alright..... It smells burnt
$Bud
~ And thats how you know the Burn was successful.
Nakopa ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:09:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ill remember this, maybe now people will listen
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:16:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just give them any instruction beyond what you really want them to do. If you want them to check a cable, tell them to unplug it and do something, then plug it back in. If you want them to reboot, tell them to turn off the computer and wait ten seconds, then start it up again. Distract them from the fact that you're asking them to check the most obvious things by giving them a task they never would have thought of.
I'm an industrial mechanic. Connections get corroded, and sometimes if you unplug a wire and plug it back in a couple times you'll fix the issue because it scrapes the corrosion off. Mostly happens in low power ones like 24 volt circuits.
romulusbc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:06 on September 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your comment just made me realize all those times the ISP (Hughes Net... ughh) told me as a child to unplug the cable and touch the end "to disperse the static" they really just didn't believe that I had already tried unplugging it and turning it off and all that.
IT TOOK THEM TWO YEARS OF ME CALLING TWICE A WEEK FOR THOSE ASSHOLES TO CHECK AND EXPLAIN TO 11 YEAR OLD ME THAT WE HAD A THING CALLED A DATA CAP!
Once I figured that out, I just scheduled Kazaa to run late at night when it didn't effect the cap, and it worked fine (as close as their service ever got to fine) until we just dropped all internet at my parents house.
Literally days of my life have been wasted on the phone with those fuckers!
Now its my mission to actively dissuade anyone from getting their service, even if I hear the conversation in passing from people I don't know.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:37:12 on October 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah when i did tech we were trained specifically to NOT ask if its plugged in because they get butthurt, but to always ask them to unplug it and plug it back in instead. Helps them save face a bit if it wasnt plugged in, which happens more than people think.
Or maybe it IS plugged in but not all the way, taking it out and putting it back in would solve that!
Really like 90% of computer problems can be solved by:
A) Rebooting
B) Unplugging things and plugging them back in
Reseating cables inside the machine can fix even more stuff.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:45:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And 90% of the time, people won't do that if you ask them. So you ask them something overly specific, like turning it off, waiting 30 seconds, then starting it again. To "clear the cache" or "unwind the capacitor" or whatever.
I'm having a baby in a couple of weeks and I think it would be hilarious to go: "ok, doc, here's the boiled water and the wet towels, what do we do now?", just to fuck with his head, hahaha. My wife would not be amused though, so I'll refrain.
Yep. I'd always ask if everything was "securely connected". Even if they don't get pissy about you asking if it's unplugged, they typically only take a quick look under the desk to make sure their piles of papers and shoes are all in the same place as before, meaning nothing has been disturbed.
When I worked in tech support for internet connection we would always have them unplug from the power source and then turn the ethernet cable around, 5/7 it always worked.
We tended to ask people to reseat the power and network cables as a strategy to make them seem smart, or have an out, when they realized the cables were unplugged.
After doing this for almost 30 years, whenever I see someone make a boneheaded mistake I just say, "Hey, I've done the same thing myself a few times," even if I never have. It take five seconds to make someone not feel like such an idiot, and it costs me nothing.
If the cable is the same on both ends (i.e. Ethernet) I always had them unplug both ends, flip the cable around, and plug it back in. I made up some BS about how the connectors can compress and disconnect if left in the same jack, and need to be moved to a different jack to continue working properly.
My SO works from home, went to login for work and had no connection. So they traced the cable back to our lazy, good for nothing room mates Xbox.
SO: "What are you doing?"
Lazy AF RM: "oh I just found this cable laying around and playing online is so much fast with the cable."
SO: "I use that for my work computer you moron."
I have a completely computer illiterate colleague at work who was without a computer for three days because it wasn't working. She was shy an timidly asked IT to come look but they never showed up, finally she asked to speak to them for her. I call and tell them its ridiculous that her computer has been broken for three days and someone should come up immediately. Within 5 minutes an IT guy comes up, plugs the computer in and leaves.
I have never been so mortified or felt so guilty. Now whenever anyone tells me something isn't working I always check it myself first before calling someone out to fix it.
hgfdsgvh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:30 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if you start with "okey, so I'm pretty sure I'm an idiot..."
j6cubic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:29:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Heh. I did that with a car. The thing wouldn't start and in fact wouldn't even respond to the key at all. We quickly determined that the starter was unresponsive but were unable to troubleshoot beyond that. The car's owner is a member in an automobile club, however, so we called them for onsite assistance.
Then we remembered that you can start a car by pushing it. It worked. We called the club to inform them that their assistance wasn't needed anymore just when they were about to call us to let us know they'd be there within the next five minutes.
Bonus points: The repair shop later checked the starter and found that the power cable had shaken loose. Then they plugged it back in and the car was fine. Three people had looked directly at the thing and nobody had noticed the missing power cable.
I've been on the other side of this, sadly. Born in '86, so by the time I hit high school computers were quite common, but desktops were still more common than laptops. I had an old MacBook, and at like 19 was the first time I used a PC laptop.
I could NOT get it to find my wifi, finally called tech support, kind of upset. Talked to them for a good half hour, they couldn't fix it. Kept asking me if my wifi was on, and I kept getting more worked up telling them yes.
Finally the guy said "just so we are very clear, the switch, on the outside of your computer, for the wifi, it's on, right?"
About ten seconds of dead silence, and finally, me, "why the fuck does that switch exist??" Not my proudest moment.
My neighbor just picked up a laptop with a switch like that. I was trying to show him how to use it and spent a good hour wondering why it wouldn't connect to my wifi then remembered the existence of those switches. I also wonder why the fuck they were invented.
Good to know! He did call me over once about a week later because he had flipped the switch by mistake, but he seems to be a fast learner and I don't think he'll do it again.
Happens all the time here when they're put in or taken out of the laptop bags, so we've just taken to disabling them, and showing them how to do it via the icon in windows if they have connectivity issues when on a dock/lan.
My grandma, who lives in a nursing home, forgets to charge her phone sometimes, and she calls a nurse for help when it won't turn on. The nurse, when she can't figure out why the phone won't turn on either, immediately uses the main line to call my mom, to which my mom asks "was the phone charged?" because she doesn't want to waste her time and money driving out there just to attach a phone to a charger.
Trying to teach grandpa how to use a cell phone was equally as funny in that he never took his phone off the charger. He never had a cordless phone, so he thought the charger cable was a phone cord. We didn't realize he thought this until one day when we were at his house and he got a call on his cell phone and during the conversation he set the phone down so he could get something in another room. We had to explain to him the point of a "mobile phone."
I couldn't figure out why my desktop wasn't turning on after I built it. I thought I really messed up somewhere along the lines. Turns out I didn't flip the switch for the power supply at the base of my tower.
I felt awfully silly right then.
SACKO_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:05 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This actually happened to me ther other day. To my defense, I thought it was already plugged in.
Hobbstet ยท 147 points ยท Posted at 00:17:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can relate, I built a computer and was flipping out when it wouldn't turn on when someone asked me if I had pressed the on button. Never have I felt so stupid
When I built my first computer I forgot to flip the switch on the power supply to let it turn on. Started panicking when the on button didn't work, I thought I had fucked up the computer I had spent months meticulously picking parts out for.
I've done that too. Honestly, you mess with the PS switch so rarely that I just didn't think of it until my third (or sixth) time pressing the power button like a dumbass.
I was on a budget so I was price hunting everything. It's not top of the line, but it can run every game I've tried pretty well. I can't ask for any more than that.
Dunno if you're being sarcastic here, but some of us waited months for the release of the 1070/1080s and then another few weeks waiting for aftermarkets to come in stock. Definitely not old but if you had heard of the tech beforehand you'd spend some months waiting for it.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:47:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
DUDE. I built my current PC with 2 sick new GPUs and when I went to open up CS:GO, I noticed that the graphics looked horrendous. I spent the next half hour re-installing drivers and shit only to figure out that I had the monitor plugged into the onboard graphics.
I forgot to plug in the cpu power cable and was freaking out as to why it would turn on for a split second and then turn off when I realized there was a cpu power cable
...the little power switch on the back got me when I built my latest computer. Started getting worried that I fucked up, then realized I didn't have that turned on...
Exactly. "I've tried nothing, and its not turning on." It doesn't make any sense.
Maybe it was "I finished building it, plugged in my monitor, mouse, and keyboard. I would have expected to power itself on by now."
TheCox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:36:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On my first ever computer build, I didn't have the heat sink in properly. This was an antec 900 case. One of the big heavy cases.
Anyways, i take it to Best Buy, yeah I know I know. But I was still a wide eyed die in the tech world and didn't know better. The computer would only turn on if it was on its side. I was so confused.
Luckily when I got to Best Buy, geek squad wanted to charge me like a hundred bucks to figure it out.
The guy put his hand on the heat sink and goes hey man, that heat sink is a little wobbly.
I didn't have the heat sink in all the way. Told the guy thanks buddy and walked out
Fixed the heat sink and everything was good to go.
When I did my first build, I accidentally reversed the power on and restart buttons. Spent a good 20 minutes trying to figure out why it wouldn't turn on, until my mom suggested I hit the restart button. Turned right on.
My friend built his computer and he not super tech savvy. Average user.
So I tell him ages ago "dude, call me I'll walk you through it" but he insists he'll be fine. Then turns out nothing's working, lights up but nothing running.
"Did you put the processor in correctly? You have to remove a little plastic cap and make sure it's in the right way"
"Yes it's fine"
2 hour trouble shooting over the phone to him - "can... Can you please just check the processor" -- "right I've removed that plastic bit now what?" -- "now it'll work numbers"
Kind of like the time I accidentally threw a breaker and thought I killed my wife's DVD player. She was pissed. Come to find out it was on a different breaker and had come unplugged.
Mesha8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are multiple power switches that send power to different components of the computer so i turned on those switches but forgot to press the actual power button
I don't get it. Did you think you could just will the computer on psychically, or did you power on the monitor, and then freak out when it didn't work? I can only imagine this happening if you had done something to turn it on...
There are multiple power switches that connect to the power supply so I turned those on and plugged in the computer completely forgetting about the power button because I had already flipped the other power switches to on. It was just me overthinking a simple problem.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A cable guy tried to help my grandma with her tv that wouldn't turn on and couldn't figure out what was wrong with it. I came over and looked at it... the power cord wasn't attached.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my favorite episodes of Rugrats involved Stu trying to show Drew and Didi how his new coffee maker worked throughout the whole episode and near the end Drew holds up a plug and says in the most dead pan expression ever: "Stu...could THIS be the problem?"
Got a cute one like this from the grandparents recently. "Fickelbra, the power went out and now our monitor says no signal. What do we do?" Is the computer turned on? "Thanks"
i put new batteries in my gameboy advance the other day and it still wouldn't turn on, so i googled and the internet told me there might be a switch problem. so i ordered a new shell and transferred all of the hardware into the new shell. still doesn't work. i check the batteries again and one of them is all rusty on the end or has battery acid on it or whatever. i put in another battery and poof, it's fine. good thing the new case only cost $10!
I did that with some music hardware. I had ten cables running around all of the stuff on the table but no sound was coming out. I was really let down because it was an ebay purchase and I just didn't want to go through the hassle. Then I realized I had an extra power cable sitting on the chair...
"I know that, but it still has to be connected to the jack."
Arctaos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of my derp moment when my car wouldn't start. I kept turning the key and nothing. I could tell from the lights that I had power, but the car wouldn't turn over. I happened to park out front of my Aunt and Uncles house when this happened, so I went and asked my uncle to have a look to see what was wrong. He came out, watched me try to start it and two seconds later pointed out that I was not in Park.... I will never live this down.
sadwer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A pet peeve of mine is people who massively overreact to a little bit of adversity. My wife does this when she's having an anxious day, and it's all I can do to be supportive and not, you know, a dick about it.
e.g. "I CAN'T FIND MY BLOUSE SOMEONE CAME IN AND STOLE IT." Yes, because someone walked past our two TVs, laptop, iPad, bluray player, and my desktop to steal a $30 shirt.
I used to work at a cable company. An absolutely astounding amount of people would bring home boxes, run an HDMI cable to the TV and then call in losing it because it didn't work, would act like I was an idiot for making them ELI5 to me how they set it up, then being shocked that they need to plug it into the coax and power, not just the TV.
Endulos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got into an argument with an uncle of mine who bought a PS2 game and tried to play it in his ancient 1997 PC. I was like no, you can't do that. You need a PS2, not a PC.
He told me that I didn't know what I was talking about and that if it's a disc, you can run it in a PC. This was in 2001 when PS2 emulaters weren't really a thing yet.
She: THE MACHINE IS BROKEN IT DOESNT TURN ON WHO DEMOLISHED IT?!
Me: Have you flipped the power button on the backside?
She: OMG HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK I AM PLEASE JUST GIVE A NORMAL ANSWER FOR A CHANGE OR SHUT UP!
My boss the next day saw it was indeed the power button, told her and she just ignored him. When I brought it up she said it was my fault for turning it off even though it's mandatory...
I work at GameStop and we always get people trying to return "broken" controllers when in reality they either aren't charged or connected to the system.
I used to work in tech support for a cable company, and I'd get one of those calls probably every other month.
After establishing that there are no lights lit up on the modem:
Me: Is it plugged in?
Customer: It's wireless.
Me: Ok, is the power cord plugged in?
Customer: It doesn't need a power cord. It's wireless.
Almost all of them argued with me after I explained it meant a wireless connection to the computer, and that it still needed power. Their fallback argument was, "The local office told me it didn't need to be plugged in." Yeah, I'm sure someone who hands out cable modems for a living told you it didn't need a power source.
Bozly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:32 on August 25, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know this is super late, but this was with a tv, When i started selling tvs I used to tell people "Smart allow you to get things like netflix hulu and youtube without having to plug anything in." What I mean by that was people who are typically used to roku and amazon not needing to plug something in to get.
So a guy bought a 3,000 dollar tv off me and calls a coworker of mine 3 hours later. "I can't get it to work its just a black screen" It takes a 15 minuet conversation for him to realize that the customer doesn't even have it plugged. I had to change my pitch after that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:01 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once asked a client to email me a 30 page doc as a PDF.
They sent me each page as its own PDF file in its own separate email.
[deleted] ยท 638 points ยท Posted at 20:05:18 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To credit, some scanning packages are an utter pain in the ass. It took me about 15 minutes to get 4 pages collated together as PDFs since my scanning software wouldn't scan to PDF natively and I didn't have Acrobat/Acrobat Pro on the machine.
I had to, with the limited computing resources available, scan 4 pages as PNGs, print each PNG to PDF (with cutepdf), then merge the PDFs with some random open source tool into one single PDF.
Was it a really crappy crude thing to do? You bet. Did it land me a new job? Yep. Did I install Acrobat afterwards? Of course.
craneguy ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 01:06:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Www.smallpdf.com if you ever find yourself in that situation again.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:35:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is a thread for people who are making fun of computer illiterate people. I donโt expect everyone here to be familiar with Automator, but I do expect them to be able to look it up and learn some basics easily if necessary.
I feel ya. When I worked on a Mac all day, I loved Automator. I was building processes in Automator to do most of my job for me. I really miss having that capability. My new job can't be automated very easily.
Preview and the multi-touch mouse are just about the only things I really miss about using a mac for work. I deal with PDFs a lot, they're so much better on a mac than on a PC.
It also doesn't help that I went from a MBP to literally the shittiest HP laptop on earth, either.
I had a small gig for a while at a place that needed stuff scanned and combined two or three times a week. The boss there was a nice old lady that was proud that she did all the purchasing herself. The software they had for PDFs was dreadful. First I had to scan in 60+ page documents one page at a time or the scanner from hell would jam. Then when I went to compile a single PDF it would put the pages in any order it liked. I grabbed some PDF compiler off the internet a month in that cut the time it took by an hour and got written up for using non approved software.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:26:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lesson learnt, you can get away with using it easily, just don't tell anyone and enjoy that free time you've cut ;)
To the top with you! I've been using that for the past few months and it's glorious. Saved me a ton of time when selling my house compared to HP and other scanning software
umm... you could have just inset the PNG images into Microsoft Word, set the margins to narrow and pull the images so they fill up the whole page. Then "save as pdf".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
sometimes the ones we laugh at are smarter, and we are the stupid ones. When faxes were new, one guy was making fun of his manager saying how that guy would get every fax that was received photocopied. We all felt that was stupid. Only later we figured out that fax machines used thermal printing and would evaporate after a few months.
I recently had to scan a 70 page tax return for a loan refinance, my brother printer/scanner with automatic document feeder would only take 30 pages at a time so once the last of the first 30 pages was picked up I shoved in the next 30 pages quickly and it kept scanning all the way through the last batch so I didn't need to mess around with joining PDF files. It felt great.
pdftk isn't "some random open-source tool", it's a fucking lifesaver that everyone should have patiently waiting on their flash drive, just like putty and upnp port forwarder.
[deleted] ยท -19 points ยท Posted at 23:34:22 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There an app for your phone called "genius scan" that scans documents into PDFs just by taking a picture of them. There's no reason to be using a physical scanner.
Alright first off scanners are a much higher quality option than you think. My cheapo printer can do 600 dpi scans, and that gets me a 5100 x 6600 (33.7 MP) copy. Not to mention that any scan from a phone will have trash quality and consistency compared to a simple scan.
There's no reason to be using a phone camera for scanning.
[deleted] ยท -17 points ยท Posted at 02:57:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've never had any trouble. I scan documents on my phone all the time and everything comes out legible and it's really quick. Not everyone owns a scanner but pretty much everyone has a phone.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:50 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you're trying to rapidly turn around a job offer back to a company and the closest thing to you turns out to be an HP LaserJet MFP and not a phone... well, there's reason enough to be using a physical scanner.
At my old job I loved to (ab)use the Ricoh C5100 we had because I could sling about ~100 pages/minute through the thing duplex and kick a PDF to our fileshare. And I've ran a few manuals through a big Fujitsu FI-7160 document scanner, too, though a lot slower.
[deleted] ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 01:05:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why isn't your phone in your pocket?
xelle24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Camscanner does this too. It can make the documents pdf or jpg and email them to you. It has a bunch of other fancy options, but I mostly ignore those. It works great with text documents.
I get this almost every day at work. People have to email me their leases to read, and most of them are computer illiterate and/or just don't own a scanner at all. Most of the time I get literal photos of each individual page, and half of the time they aren't even clear pictures. Sometimes it's one attachment per email, luckily not often. I finally got the OK from my boss to refuse to accept anything but a single PDF when they do that shit, it's glorious.
My uncle just did this with our vacation photos. I will never understand how you take the time to do all 75+ images without once thinking there might be a better way...
I once asked a supplier for work to send me product datasheet PDFs. There were over 300. They printed them all off and posted them to me. It must have taken them ages and was of 0 use to me.
Now I clarify that I want the PDFs emailed or sent via dropbox or something.
To be fair, when I was working in tech support for lawyers I had to do something similar. But it was because we had to send the contract we had PDF'd in good quality colour for reprinting and the Japanese company we were emailing had a ridiculously low email size limit - like 1Mg. It was a 200 page document. Thank goodness for automation, but I'd hate to be the person at the other end :P (this would have been around ten years ago btw)
mconen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like to consider myself not a fucking retard, but I've done this too. I was used to using my own laptop (w/ company hardware vpn) and all the software I had whether it was paid by the company or me.
Well, someone fucked up and we all had to go back to using company issued computers overnight. Some couple of dozen people in sudden need of updates and new software on their OLD pieces of crap, and one IT guy to rule them all. IIRC he did manage to push the general updates via intra to most machines, but every "non-standard" program he had to inspect and install one by one.
Before it was my turn I had to send a 20 page document out. Non of my team members were in and most others were busy af (mostly because of this whole ordeal), plus I felt like a teenager after being treated like one - you know: "No, mconen, I can't let you install anything without my supervision, no software, no drivers, no nothing outside the intra."
So, I decided to use the tools I had. Ok, scanner not working.. Maybe take a picture of each page and reconstruct the document, pdf'fy it and send. Oh, file size huge, e-mail attachment limit reset to 5Mb. Can I compress it? Nope. Can I.. Um.. Reconstruct it by leaving some data out from the pictures or do the pdf-conversion more tight? Yes I can, but it needs to be readable and printable, so not nearly enough.
Yup, every single page as a separate pdf and a separate email. (Took me less than 2 hours to do the 8 min task tho...)
I once had to transcribe 45 pages of contact emails which were sent as iPhone screenshots. That was in March.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was once forced to do this because my top loader was not working and I had to get the documents in right away, so I had to use the glass to scan one page at a time. I at least put them all in the same email, though.
โ "So you wanna scan that multipage flyer? Great! We'll organize by scan date."
โ "Okay, fine. Let's scan the second page. Wait, why did you close?"
โ "So you wanna scan something else? We'll need a separate folder for that. Since it's in its own folder, we can re-use the filename!"
Most of my students, who are almost all 18 and 19, have apparently never used a word processor. I start every semester thinking, "Okay, these people have grown up surrounded by computers, surely I don't need to go over this." I'm always wrong. A few times, I've had students hit enter twice at the end of every line to double space their paper. I've had multiple students use the space bar to center their title, they can't add a header, and they don't know what the tab key does. I love my job, but c'mon guys.
This. There's a sweet spot for natural literacy with any technology, and if you're born before or after the sweet spot you're probably going to be illiterate. The sweet spot for computers has long passed.
This isn't a new thing. When my little sister was in high school (about 10 years ago I guess) I caught her using caps lock to type capital letters. I was like "you know about the shift key right?" and her response was "yeah, but I got used to it this way and it works".
Turn that stupid search key into Caps Lock. There's no reason for a search key next to your pinky, Google's just trying to be edgy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:25 on September 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
3 weeks late, but whatever. If you're suggesting that Google does that, just know that you can change it in settings. Otherwise, yeah I agree, it's a good idea to switch it for yourself.
This is what shocked me when I started at the university. I studied engineering, and I was so stunned over the technical illiteracy I saw among people.
The first time we had a CAD assignment people spent 2-3 days working on what I completed in about an hour. We were just supposed to make some really simple floor plans.
In year three when I took road design we had an assignment to complete in Matlab. It apparently was too hard for some people so we could use Excel too. Apparently writing formulas in Excel using input data from a few other cells prooved to hard for some people still.
I'm worried about these people being allowed to practice engineering sometimes.
[deleted] ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 01:21:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
All these circumvention methods just show how stupid requiring a page count/word count/etc. is. Just take off points for lack of content instead of lack of length.
[deleted] ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 12:27:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"Rome was all like, "You guys are totally all Rome now!" and everyone else was all like, "Nuh uh Bruh" and Rome was ready for someone to step but they never did, and Rome couldn't keep it's game up and stopped representin."
That reminds me of my high school history teacher who would always try to turn complicated situations into a terrible dad joke. Like when Hitler said he was going to take over Poland and Poland said "no way Jose" and that really pissed Hitler off because his name wasn't Jose.
While I agree from a critical standpoint, I disagree from a pedagogical standpoint. My students, especially (I teach students who scored too low on standardized testing and placement testing to take an entry-level composition class), need a rough, basic guideline to indicate the bare minimum discussion required by a given prompt.
Due to the nature of my class, my word counts aren't even onerous. If memory serves, the fifth of five papers I require (and, therefore, the longest) has a minimum word count of 750. That's laughably low for a college paper, even undergrad.
That's true, a recommended page/word count is definitely helpful. I just feel like the length of the paper should not be taken into account when grading, since a too short paper is either lacking in content or not really too short at all.
Starting college(admittedly, engineering school, so not much emphasis on writing) and having length requirements in papers shift from "x pages/words minimum" to "as short as you can make it while still covering everything" was rather refreshing.
Im pedantic, sorry I hadn't warned you initially. But, putting a paragraph break mid sentence, I.e. Not between two paragraphs is certainly less legal than changing the value of the line spacing. This is particularly true in the event that the paragraph break provides a gap larger than double spacing, as you are technically no longer double spacing.
As long as the gap between the lines of text is greater than a line of text, you are technically not double spacing. The technicality of whether or not the text is double spaced is not a function of the means employed to achieve or circumvent it. More succinctly, there is a setting for double spacing, but double spacing is not itself a setting.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:22:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Many profs I had asked for double spaced papers to make commenting easier. Not that double return would do that very well...
Agarax ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 02:44:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
These days they're surrounded by phones instead.
Computer illiteracy is making a comeback.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 05:40:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
atreyal ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:57:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ease of use for modern technology is not the same as it was when most of us mid 20 to mid 30s went through. I remember growing up having to wire up enertainment systems at my dad house. I was the one who fixed the VCR and cable when it acted weird. I had to teach my parents the basics of computer use from using DOS commands to the earliest forms of Windows. Making a mess of AOL chat rooms and tripod, angelfire websites.
Now everything is hermetically sealed. People push a button and run the program they want. Kids don't need to know how the os runs stuff. How to troubleshoot things at a low level. Most stuff is ready to go out of the box and will work fine with no tweaks. Why Apple is so popular. Doesn't surprise me that kids don't know technology as well as we do since they never had to deal with it in the same level.
I agree. I'm 39, and started out with commodore 64, witnessing the birth of the actual PC, having comp Sci in school with actual disassembly and reassembly of computers, fixing both hardware and software issues - and learned to type on an actual typewriter. My basic understanding of electronics and computers is astounding compared to younger generations.
atreyal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am just wondering how to get my kids up in knowledge. Not old enough yet to really get it but I don't want them to get so good they can bypass me or block me out.
bbluech ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:27:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have them build a computer, when something goes wrong don't fix it for them, fix it with them so they understand how you fixed it not that you did. Also pick up a raspberry pie or something with a kit and have them experiment.
Trust me when I say all you have to do is pique their interests and they can take it from there with all the resources on youtube and other places.
atreyal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good point. Some good ideas too. Just have to wait for them to get a bit older and will do the raspberry pie thing. Already have a project in mind now that you brought that up!
aaah, from your story it looked like you were a 70-80 year old :D
atreyal ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:10:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No. I am just that guy that fixes everything computer related at work. Most people don't have a clue anymore. Kinda blame Apple a bit for it. Since they are hugely popular and don't let you tweak anything. Just how "user friendly" tech has become. That and I love in a really red neck area.
did not mean to :D i'm not the youngest either at 32
atreyal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just messing with ya. It's all good.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:42:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd agree that computers are better for real work, word processing, etc., but 80% of the reason I'm as computer literate as I am is because I was using a computer for fun at a very young age. People growing up do so much of their internet socializing and casual gaming on mobile, they don't really have an incentive to learn how to use a computer for anything other than school assignments.
I'll generally use a USB hub for my mouse and keyboard that I will generally leave unplugged from my PC so I can just keep using my Surface when I get home from work. Again, only using my PC when I need two monitors or when I want to game.
I was talking about the chromebocks and chinese copys. They are a small Laptop with detachable Screen. It works like a tablet if you only use the screen and like a computer if you attach the keyboard.
I carry a cheap usb mouse around so I don't have to bear with the trackpad.
Fuck trackpads.
funkmon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Motorola Atrix had this.
wabojabo ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 02:51:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a 19 year old student I get the struggle. I had a class in high school specifically to learn to use Word properly. Still, many guys didn't got it and most of my classmates never learned.
On another not so illiterate computer thing, I learned to properly type on a keyboard (using all of my fingers) and the rest of my class has to use 2, it frustrates me sometimes.
I can type at over 90 WPM using 2 fingers try to keep up grandpa :^)
m3bs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you look at the keyboard when you type, or at the screen? Being able to look at the screen lets you catch errors earlier and I can't imagine two-fingering makes that easy.
Wizhi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:56:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's all about muscle memory, you don't need to look at the keyboard.
You don't consciously find the location of any given key, your fingers just move. Doesn't have to be the same fingers that hit the same keys every time, it can get mixed up. When you change keyboard, it requires a little adjusting, but it's very fast to get used to.
I do around 60 WPM with QWERTY, using random finger placements to type. My hands sort of "claw up", and it's become really straining for me to type a lot.
Currently learning touch-typing with the Colemak layout, and I can feel how my bad typing habits are making it even harder to transition.
I honestly hate touch typing. When we had to learn it in grade school (All The Right Type), my fingers were too short to reach the numbers and anything 2-3 keys away from home row. In the end, the teacher finally got so pissed off with my "fake" touch typing that she wrapped my hands and the keyboard in a garbage bag and made me spend a week of classes like that.
The key phrase there is "one time". No child isn't going to immediately grasp what "double spaced" means once they find out it reduces their homework by half.
figyg ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:14:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same actually. Not saying my elementary school was bad, but their extent of computer teaching that I remember was learning how to type, Oregon Trail, and sending a few emails. In middle school I was left in the dust.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:41:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Ixellent ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 02:59:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gods, I thought I was crazy too, but this happens with my recent college freshmen. Didn't they write any papers in school? :I
I teach Photoshop and so many of them don't understand "copy and paste" in a weird way that I can't comprehend as someone who has been using Photoshop since before they were born.
yep it's not just old people that have problems. In fact this thread is such a circle-jerk against old people, that people probably have forgotten that it is adults - old people - who invented, developed, financed, and designed technology. I've seen young people not even know how to shut down a computer.
I'm working in a school where Computing hasn't been taught for a few years.
Both staff and students can be really difficult.
Many of them don't know how to copy and paste, use spellcheck, or know what the tab and shift keys do.
I've also seen multiple people put USB drives in the ethernet port of their laptop and be terribly confused as to why it isn't working.
Thanks for bringing up spellcheck; I had forgotten about that (or blocked it out). Most of my students have no idea what that is either. I tell them it's better than cheating because not only will I not take off points if they use it, I'll probably have to take off points if they don't.
Thinking about it, I don't recall ever actually being taught how to use a word processor properly in my IT lessons at school. Spreadsheets and PowerPoint and making fucking Flash videos, but I think I've had to pick up Word skills by myself? I'm now in a job where I use Word every day, and my boss gets quite proud when she does something on Word that I have no clue about.
spiirel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:38:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to show my freshman roommate how to use a flash drive, print a document and explain what Microsoft Word is, since she was using notepad. This was 4 years ago and she had a brand new computer.
While I don't want to stereotype anybody, many of my students were football players in small county schools where their ability to throw a ball mitigated their inability to write a coherent sentence. I had one student proudly tell me that he never wrote a paper in high school (apparently he passed his English classes even though he skipped every paper). Another student only had to write one paper to graduate. I can't make sense of it, but apparently it happens.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in my 30s and I think I grew up in the sweet spot of computing. GUIs already existed so it made computers easy to learn but you still had to figure shit out on your own.
Now the current kids are so used to hand holding smart phones and tablets (ie. dumbed down computers) that they have trouble with real computers...like how my girlfriend's kids think their computers are broken whenever the internet goes out.
figyg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's kinda weird and backwords. I took computer classes since I was in 1st grade over 20 years ago up through college. Now I care for my cousins who are in junior high and high school. Neither of them have ever taken a computer class. We live in a desirable school district in NYC. I don't understand why they aren't even taught the basics...
Could be that they didn't own a computer. A lot of kids in my high school didn't. Though my high school still made them type and print out their essays despite their lack of computers. Tons of kids missed lunch to use the library computers or they didn't hand anything in at all...
To be fair, a lot of kids don't have the opportunity to learn, unless they decide to do so for themselves. I (22 years old) can use MS and Excel like a motherfucker and I can type properly, (as in, I can do so without looking, and use the correct fingers on the correct keys) but only because I went to the only middle school in my district, let alone my state, that had a computer course.
If my students used the space bar for precision, I probably couldn't even tell that they used it. Instead, I have people hitting the space bar 2-4 times calling it good. If I can halfway glance at a sheet of paper and spot that flaw, we have a problem.
My college students know so little about what to do with documents. Sure they can snapchat, tweet, text, whatever, but if you ask them to combine word docs, change margins in a word doc, save a word doc as pdf, scan something as a pdf... and they don't even fucking know how to google how to do that stuff.
I teach people to be teachers and the latest bunch had to do an online portfolio thing for licensure (it sucks but the state requires it now so it is what it is). I TOLD them to get a video camera for the part where they have to record their teaching; half of them just used their phones, then flipped out when the phone wouldn't hold enough video, or it was in some weird proprietary format, or they couldn't get it off the phone, or they lost their phone. DO WHAT I FUCKING TOLD YOU. Then they acted like it was impossible to make a 10 minute video clip or compress their video to a smaller size. I'm forty fucking years old, if an Old like me can figure this shit out it can't be that hard.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if we actually got fucking computer training in grade school, we wouldn't have the issue.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Campus computers at my university wipe themselves at the end of every night, so students have to save their files in a separate drive if they wanted to access them later. Trying to explain how to do that ate up 5 minutes of class time at least once a week for the whole semester. It's not even that complicated. Save As > Computer > H Drive. It's three one single click and to double click. Five clicks people. Five clicks.
Those are all things they won't learn from point-and-click interfaces. Our generation grew up having to know everything about the keyboard, theirs didn't. Maybe you should have a class where you just go over all the special keys and introduce them! That could be fun!
This semester, I'm requiring my students to use google docs, so the last half of the first class will be a primer on properly using docs. I mean, they won't pay attention and they'll ask me the same 5 questions all semester, but at least I can say I told them.
kevpool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:15 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The only one I'll forgive is the double spacing, it's not something I've ever been taught to do, or been asked to use, so while I can set it up to be done automatically I'll still probably just double enter for a little while.
hgfdsgvh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:41 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait? Seriously? This generation? The one that never lived a day of their life without access Microsoft Word? But... surely..... WordArt??!!?
leztid ยท 1022 points ยท Posted at 19:21:25 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My professor once took a picture of an email with his phone, and then texted me the picture. He didn't realize you could forward emails...
A coworker wanted a picture off of my phone the other day. I told him I would text it to him real quick. "Nah, let me just take a picture of your phone.".....
They took a screenshot of a post on Facebook, printed out the screenshot, took a picture of the piece of paper they printed, then posted it back on Facebook.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:22:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did exactly that this weekend. In our defense though, it's because my friend had no cell reception and I had a map of our campground on my phone, so this was a quick solution.
Had a manager once that had to have his input on all things, even stuff not from his department. I was building out a graphic and he sent it back several time wanting tweaks to the particular shade of green. The second or third time he sent it back, I made zero changes to it and sent it back. He finally accepted it.
That's one thing I like about NFC, especially if someone has left theirs on from when they first got the phone. I can tell them to hold up their phone, put mine up against theirs, and tell them to press "yes" or "ok".
I recently got an email from a client. It included a photo of her phone. She was inquiring about the image on the screen of her phone. I spent a few minutes just trying to figure out HOW she achieved sending me this. Now I know. It was probably a picture of someone else's phone.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:05:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed it isn't. I can send the photo via WhatsApp and he can receive it within a second. While activating NFC on my phone and telling him to activate it takes already 30 seconds and it hasn't even been sent yet
Wow, I never thought of doing that! See, what I do is I print the email at work, then fax it home. Then, when I get home, I mail the email to my friend who lives near the telegraph office, with money included for the telegram. The note says to transcribe the email into a telegram for my son's friend, and to say in the telegram for my son's friend to walk over to my son's house to tell him the contents.
Some people say I'm old-fashioned, but my system works for me.
welpie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:23:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was around 9 years old a friend of my mom sent me a video and I returned it to them when I watched it so they'd have their video back. In my defense I only just got an email address.
I've actually started doing this lately and I'm completely computer literate. But it's for things like.... I got a ridiculous crazy work email that's pissed me off so I take a picture of it and send it to my friend across the country who also does what I do and we commiserate on our stupid fucking coworkers together. It just seems inappropriate to forward such an email. And also I don't know her email, lol.
I also do it with websites on the computer that I cannot be bothered to find again on my phone. It is sheer fucking laziness on my part.
Only recently, a friend's stepfather asked my friend to take picture of the screen of his smartphone and text him the picture. He didn't know screenshots were a thing.
zangor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Devils Advocate.
You are more likely to prioritize your text messages above your email.
Reminds me of my old Lumia phone.
I tried to forward an email, but there just was no option for it. There were options for answering and deleting the mail.
I later found out you had to touch answer and THEN the phone asks you if you want to answer the email or forward it.
Thx Microsoft...
srcarruth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:31 on September 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who works in graphic design and he gets these low res cam pics all the time. of emails. emails containing high res images.
My mind is actually blown by the number of people who still think you can't get a virus on a Mac or an IPhone. That was relavent for like 10 minutes while nobody had macs so it was pointless to make a virus for a Mac. It's been YEARS. It's not even uncommon anymore. You're at just as much of a risk on a Mac as you are on a PC.
ooleshh ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:10:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Truuuuuuueeee, but I actually got to sit in on a cyber-security briefing given by a retired 10th fleet Officer, and apparently over 85% of mobile viruses are developed specifically for android OS, and originates primarily from Russia, eastern Europe, and China. So, there's a lot less malicious code for you to bump into as an iPhone user.
Also, apparently the .su domain, for the Soviet Union, is still active and is used to host a lot of malware. And a US Navy ship, iirc a carrier actually, got so infected from a host of different viruses brought on by unauthorized use of the on-board computers and connecting personal devices to the network, that they had to quarantine it from the rest of the USN network, which is a big deal since it prevented a lot of communications from happening. I think this happened four or five years ago.
That's just not true. iPhones need exploits to even install something malicious, and Linux users aren't admins by default. Theres many viruses out there which can affect PC's running linux. Hell I can write a script right now to infect a linux host, you just have to be dumb enough to run it as root
The people who are that stupid are in a very small minority. If you have any kind of intelligence, you don't run unknown programs without checking the integrity first.
Also whether you're a sudoer by default or not varies from distro to distro.
We just can't assume this person doesn't exist. There's more than seven billion people and the other 3 members of my family are computationally retarded and have an account on my linux desktop for ripping movies. But no sudoer access thank fuck.
I heard that as a fact and always thought it was true, purely because i've never had a virus, i'll happily click on loads of random links and never had any malware protection stuff for years. If you can go 6+ Years without a single virus and then get a new PC that comes pre-packaged with them, it seems like an obvious fact.
There's a decent chance that you've had one and just didn't know it. Most viruses don't directly harm your computer at all. They just run in the background and steal your information.
You would have to be so stupid to get a virus. Clicking on every flashing "download battery update" button will do it though. And the people saying macs can't get viruss are the ones who do that.
I mean, I have 100 Mbps internet and the other day, we were watching Youtube on the PS3 (Wifi, but like 1 meter from the router), working just fine, and I started downloading a large game on Steam (over wired). Immediately, my router decided it was a good idea to let the 2-4 Mbps or whatever Youtube video start constantly buffering, while my Steam download was going at like 9 MBps (capital B).I told Steam to throttle to 5 MBps and everything was fine. But there is some truth to that. I might need to dig into my router's settings...
One of my users managed to get some malware on their Windows machine that turned it into a malicious DHCP server. Instead of using the DNS servers I had selected, the malicious DHCP server issued network configurations with a scammer's DNS which resolved every domain name with their scam site.
What your parents said would be a reasonably accurate description of what happened to my network.
crozone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:22:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Protip: Enforce router selected DNS servers at the router firewall level, and don't let anything else out or in over port 53.
Dozekar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:41:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Many people are not going to be able to do this. It's like telling them to drop all private subnet traffic that that arrives on external interfaces. It's advice that is extremely helpful to enterprise level operations and equipment, totally useless for most individuals at home.
We're on a thread about computer illiterate people that can't turn a monitor on; I doubt that most people access their router firmware at all other than changing the WiFi password and closing it instead of leaving it open..and most probably don't even do that
When my dad makes ridiculous diagnosis like this, I just praise his detective skills and ask follow up questions with genuine interest in his answers. That tends to settle things pretty quickly, in most cases.
Funny thing is most games use less than 10kb/s to maintain game connection, so even if you had the most basic 1mb internet it shouldn't be noticeable at all.
Youtube uses way more bandwidth than any game could ever need but somehow its your fault for playing a game and not theirs for streaming movies...
So your dad was looking at porn and clicked on something he shouldn't have is what your telling me?
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 15:13:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to spend fucking hours fixing my dad's laptop cause of the viruses he gets from porn. It was some "fbi" message saying he had to pay a bunch of hundreds of dollars to get his laptop back. Okay I don't wanna know what porn website you were on.
My parents always blamed World of Warcraft for giving their computer a virus. "when all those people are connected to a server they can send viruses to people"
I legit had some guy my mom was dating say that my computer could give her phone, the TV, and the Playstation a virus via the surge protector they were all plugged into. She believed him.
I remember before 2000 stating confidently that one would not get infected if over didn't open attachments.
And then came the overflow exploit the filename attachment parser (or something like it) in outlook express and then you could get infected merely by receiving an email.
Oh my god. I've read through so many of these posts and just about managed to keep my cool. But this... Good god, this is the line. Fuck. Just, no. I can't deal with anymore. I'm about to explode. How? How can they think that's even possible? I? Oh my god. No more.
On that note, my 3 year old refers to all mail as 'email'. Whenever the mail dude delivers the mail, he'll be sitting by the window, yelling out to my wife that "the email just got delivered."
Those two sound separate though. Like they need to check their email urgently and get to the post office before closing time. Perhaps they needed to check an order number?
Daedry ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:14:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
''At what time does the Internet closes'' is a question frequently asked by the elderly
Matriss ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:51:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well obviously he needed to check his e-mail, print off the Jesus forwards, then go to the post office to mail them to his friends and family so they don't miss out on the love of Christ.
What else is he supposed to do, his e-mail is only for receiving mail.
On this vein I convinced my MIL
to finally get email so she could Skype grandkids and facebook etc. She then told me okay we'll do it tomorrow. She went to post office next day and asked them for email. I couldn't stop laughing.
Back in the early 90s, we were using ProComm to support users remotely. They just had to have a modem, install the software, and give us the number.
Anyways, most of our clients were small non-profit outfits, typically staffed by older folks, and one of them was having issues. We tried, and tried to connect, got nothing. Asked them repeatedly, 'Do you have a modem?', 'Is it plugged in/turned on?', 'is it attached to the phone line?', 'is it attached to the computer?'...etc...etc...all 'yes'. So eventually we decided we'd have to make the 2+ hour drive to their location to help them in person.
The modem was duct taped to the side of the monitor with nothing connecting it to the computer...except the tape.
And you know the guy who duct-taped the thing to the computer thought you guys were idiots for not sending them screws to mount it to the computer properly
pearthon ยท 800 points ยท Posted at 04:45:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Uhhhg omg I can see his smug face from a million miles away
Plo-124 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 10:06:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My father often did that. Once saw him punt the tower out the window because it was slow. A ten year old doesnt understand that some websites have viruses
Hobosock ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 06:35:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your father must have been pretty young when he had you if he was 10.
There's an old doctor who episode where he's on an ancient rocket ship and he's trying to access the computer saying something about it possibly being earth technology it stops working so he hits it. It suddenly starts working again.
And he exclaims "Definitely earth technology" that scene always cracked me up.
Edit: here's a link to what I was referring to about 5 minutes 40 seconds in. Enjoy
When I was a kid we actually had a Mac Performa that, when it was getting old, slapping it on the side really and truly worked.
You knew it needed a good slap on the right side when it froze up and the hard drive started making a specific sound no hard drive should be making.
I actually think the actuator arm was getting stuck or something.
A sharp slap or two on the right side towards the front would get things moving, the hard drive would start sounding normal again, and the computer would come back to life.
Are you sure it wasn't the CPU fan that would get a wire from the power supply caught in the blades, make a labored noise and start overheating? The only computer I ever had to slap had that problem before I found some zip ties.
uhmhi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:15:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should definitely change the wording of "Attach the modem to your computer"
Tech: tech support how can I help you? TheCaller: help, my Internet isn't working. Tech support: is your modem plugged in? Caller: sir, I am not a computer person. Techsupport: do you have a modem? TheCaller: I do not know what that is. Techsupport: it's the thing that you plug your computer into so you can get Internet. TheCaller: sir, I have already told you, I am not a computer person, if you continue like this I will have to hang up! (sorry for formating and Stuff, I'm on mobile)
There is no other story on Reddit, no, the entire internet, that I want to be real as much as this one.
Jameskkk ยท 1419 points ยท Posted at 20:28:08 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So, a while back at the company I work at there was this senior VP in the legal division as a patent attorney. This guy was one of the best patent lawyers at our company at the time... Really intelligent and a lot of people looked up to him and there were instances where the fate of the company was in his hands (when the company was young and smaller). Now this guy has to deal a lot with patents and contracts, right? reading them... editing them... approving them... and so on. So with these documents that are typically around 20 pages but sometimes are up to 50 there is a lot of that involved. The editing process, for this guy, however, was slightly different... You see, he didn't know how to copy and paste. So what does he do, you ask? He retypes every single contract and patent as it comes through even for just slight edits... Retypes the whole fucking thing. 20 pages.... With every... single... document he gets... He does this for 2 years before someone finds out and introduces him to copy and paste. One of my favorite workplace stories.
Yeah, I was gonna say I kind of respect that. That's serious dedication. You can copy and paste something without actually reading it. If you're retyping the whole thing, you're getting every single word out of it. Certainly not the most time-effective way to go about it of course.
leshake ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:59:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Not with patent stuff. I work in the field. Most of it is utterly banal and useless. Some applications are 200+ pages. Half of the application is explaining what has been done before (state of the art). There is maybe two sentences of something that is interesting or new in an application. He was massively wasting his time.
Yeah I just reviewed a really banal contract to examine changes in the terms and across 5 pages of boiler plate there were less than 20 different words constituting 2 changes in the whole thing.
I can't even imagine the banality of patent staff's finer points.
Wow. Reading your comment just finally made me realize what the phrase "state if the art" means. It was always just an expression meaning latest/greatest but I never thought about the words that mean "it's the current state of this discipline/technology".
leshake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ya, ironically it means that it's what everyone does, not that it is novel.
It may surprise you to learn that anyone with management experience is capable of coming up with the same concept. Until I posted this, I honestly was not aware that was a saying attributed to him. But I will say that it has held true for years in my experience.
JPK314 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All I remember from that book was the film promo of their family having dinner that ended up being shown at double speed. Also "Therblig" buy I have no idea what it actually meant, just that it was (almost) "Gilbreth" backward.
They're going to have to learn how to copy and paste eventually... And when they do, they're not going to have the habit of double-checking their paste if you haven't drilled that habit into them.
You shouldn't teach them never to do it, you should teach them it's like fire... It's a very powerful tool, but can cause disaster if you use it without respecting it by not giving it the attention it deserves.
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 06:57:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
copy paste from websites, especially of code, results in some hard to trace down issues.
That's an issue a programmer will spend hours struggling with once, and then never again. I would argue that, as such, it's better dealt with in a classroom setting rather than a workplace setting.
Fuck MS Word and similar programs (don't remember which programs I ran into this with) for automatically doing that. I can paste code into word, immediately copy/paste it back, and it will already not work.
These problems were not very common from websites (usually official documentation or places like Stack Overflow), and much more common from textbook provided resources and other stuff where, often, we were expected to copy baseline code to work on. Copying code out of PDFs is terrible...
Totally. Back in school I didn't really have to study but I took notes on goddamn everything. I figured I'd work harder in class so I didn't have to outside of class.
Weirdly for me it was the opposite. My senior year, after I had a job lined up, I stopped taking notes. And I actually started understanding the material better and having better memory of it. It's like the knowledge was coming in my ears and eyes and leaking out of my hands when I was taking notes, and it actually stayed in my brain when I wasn't.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:18:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a programmer, and that would be complete hell to have to retype thousands of lines of code to fix any error. It would work, but it would be hell.
Opposite for me. Once something is written down, as far as my brain is concerned it has now been transferred to off-site storage and can be safely discarded.
splanktor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:52 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually theyve proven that while it is true writing stuff down is a fantastic way to commit things to memory, typing does not have that effect at all because the speed at which you can type means that you dont even really have to process the thought.
ah, well that is interesting. Glad I was in university before laptops were a thing, otherwise I wouldn't have remembered anything.
hgfdsgvh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:54 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is true for some but there have actually been some peer reviewed studies showing group X learns better visually, group Y learns better through vocalized instruction, group Z (your reference) learns better through repetition, group A retains more by reading new information silently to themselves, and the last group I can think of, B; learns through trial and error (like our beloved homework!! However this also combines the style of learning you mentioned) When I first read about it it made total sense because I learn best through a X & Z combo. Which is lucky because that's how a classroom is typically structured. However, this might also just be the best proven method of retaining information and that's why they do it this way.
It's interesting stuff but especially helpful to learn early on how you retain information best. I only wish I knew this in my earliest college days! I was totally use to "just showing up" and getting an A because all the concepts being taught I either already knew or could understand just by being present during the lecture.
craz3d ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:14:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know an attorney who is probably about 40. He was talking about having shoulder surgery or something and I asked how it'd affect his work. He said he doesn't type anything. Always dictation so other people type for him. Wow.
ryken ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:34:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are many attorneys like this still. Whenever my assistant gets whiny about how much work she has I just remind her about the whole working for young guys who type all their own shit out for her thing.
craz3d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:34 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Before law school, I worked for an old school lawyer who dictated...only. I'd print the emails and lawyer would dictate a response, which I would print as a draft. Then I'd send. Then I also had all the other work of following up on prior correspondence, organizing incoming records/pleadings/etc. Calendar. I don't think the current legal assistants in my office get how easy their job is compared to when I did it not but a decade ago. I did everything current staff does + dictation + drafted "easy" pleadings (forms) for review. And I still got bored.
If he became a lawyer before computers hit, he might have had to do that same process with an electric typewriter. My typing teacher in the 80s said she had been a legal secretary for a while, and you had to type an entire legal-sized page without making any errors. With electric typewriters, it was common to use correction tape if you made an error, but according to her this wasn't allowed on legal documents because of worry that someone would claim it had been tampered with after it was signed.
Point being, if you're used to typing 60-80 lines of text without a single error, and doing it efficiently, merely having to retype a document on a system that has a freaking backspace key is a huge productivity upgrade already.
๐๏ธ MrJoeSchmo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:31:02 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty amazed by this one. I'm surprised he never asked anybody if there was a way to make it faster!
On the other hand, it also makes him more likely to introduce mistakes.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:09:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My step mom actually did this for a number of years, because she didn't trust copy and paste. She refused to believe computers could do it without messing something up, and so would re-type everything she needed a copy of, including long papers, because she felt her own mistakes would be easier to fix.
I'd like to know how the person who convinced her to try it did it, cause she's a stubborn woman.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:07:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Idk sounds like a badass. Head so wrapped up in knowing the law he can't even be bothered to learn to copy and paste. I worked as a legal secretary once those people are sharp as a fucking razor.
I'm certainly guilty of this, but on a more complicated level. Back in the good old elementary school days, I played Neopets like it was the true meaning of life. "User lookups" aka user pages and pet pages could be altered with basic html codes.
Being 6 or 7, not knowing that copy and pasting existed, took code provided by other websites and typed every single letter and symbol. It took me hours. And if there was a single mistake, I'd erase it all and start again. On the plus side, I learned html at a super young age and can type like a speed demon now. I remember being absolutely baffled when my older brother showed me how to C&P. It was literally like magic before my very eyes.
I was helping a really brilliant lawyer (over the phone) who couldn't do ANYTHING on his computer. I asked him to google something and he had to have the secretary come do it for him, she told me he was trying to google through Outlook.
Remember seeing a video of an instructor showing a group how to use a text editor (early days). "Now if you want to correct this word in the middle of the sentence..." Proceeded to hit backspace about twenty times.
pinerw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus... I'm a lawyer, and like 80% of what I do is finding an older document that's reasonably similar to what I need, then copy/paste in the relevant changes.
Considering this guy was a patent lawyer in really surprised he was this inept. To be admitted to the patent bar you need a background in science. As a result, many patent lawyers have engineering degrees. So for him not to know computer basics is astounding to me. Unless of course he was really old and attended school before computers were common.
Guy spilt a glass of water on his laptop and complained very loudly that it wasn't working. When I picked it up and the water ran out I said that's why.
His response was priceless "What kind of an idiot do you think I am, all laptops are waterproof".
I had his manager explain that they weren't...
[deleted] ยท 942 points ยท Posted at 22:13:32 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always throught throwing water over computers was just a quick way to destroy them in movies
I saw something in /r/talesfromtechsupport the other day about a server which got soaked due to an air conditioning fault. There was literally a puddle inside the case, components were submerged etc. and this had happened while it was powered on.
After drying out for a few days the server actually worked again... and continued to do so for a couple more years.
Well unless you drop distilled water in it, most liquids can be conductive enough to cause a short.
e: please reply telling me how circuit dirt + distilled water will cause a short
[deleted] ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 02:00:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To fix this just pour liquid mercury on it before it breaks. This kills the water.
zangor ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:25:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was always methylized mercury that ya had to worry about (TECHNICALLY). Talking about insane ways to poison yourself was a mainstay of adv inorganic chem. I don't even why I took that class. I was a mol neurosci major.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And according to some safety thing I was taught after mercury light bulbs became popular:
open all windows, doors and shit all while not breathing. Now stay the fuck away from that house.
You know what? Fuggetabowtit burn the house down. It's the only way to insure your safety, the child sleeping inside the houses safety, and your computer's safety
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:21:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I spilled beer in my computer once and killed it before anything shorted.
It was fine - I like to think it was better for the experience, but it was not.
Even condensed water vapor would immediately dissolve electrolytes from the surface. It is extraordinarily difficult to get water so pure that it is not conductive.
Water in and of itself is not conductive. Impurities within the water are however conductive. This is why components for things like the outdated LORAN C transmitters were submerged in water to keep them cool.
Maybe if there's a few years' worth of dust inside and the dust happens to contain a very large amount of soil minerals, this has a chance of becoming conductive. Doesn't seem likely.
"Circuit dirt" can include salt from user's accumulated finger-sweat and sugar from user's accumulated donut-paws. These dissolve in the water and increase its conductivity.
e: please reply telling me how circuit dirt + distilled water will cause a short
Distilled water won't carry charge because it lacks electrolytes to carry charge. However, "circuit dirt," and almost anything else, will contain electrolytes that the water will dissolve, becoming conductive.
That is, if it wasn't conductive in the first place - water has to be extremely pure to be nonconductive, and simple distillation often does not do the trick.
Distilled water may not be conductive, but only until it comes in contact with all the dust on and inside your computer, this will most likely have enough salts in it to make it conducting and cause a short.
siler7 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:27:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would guess even distilled water would screw up the average computer pretty quickly after it dissolved all the surface crud from the components.
I've seen cordial (or the sugary remains of cordial) cause a fire as it set itself alight while shorting inside a USB port. That was pretty entertaining.
I spilled a latte in my new laptop, turned it sideways and the latte was dripping into a puddle on my desk. I just let it sit there and drain for awhile... It's still working great several years later.
My laptop and my phone have both survived spills by water/coke. Soak them bad boys in raw oats and it should fix it. I've done this with multiple phones/keyboards/laptops.
I usually find water is ok if you pull the battery quickly and then let them dry , it's coke or any soft drink, milk, tea, curry, coffee and cat pee that does them in ...
Not my proudest moment, but I managed to accidentally pour 3/4 of a mug of hot tea over my macbook. Fucking shat my pants, but it was fine, just got a paper towel and dried off the surface water and continued using it.
It's still fine now, 3 years later, that was probably the luckiest day of my life...
really the killer when it comes to water damage is the resulting corrosion. or in the case of beverages, crap that builds up and interrupts random circuits.
Yup, my router was submerged when my house was flooded, worked fine for about 2 more years after drying out. When it broke I opened it and the entire inside was corroded.
Back in college, spilled beer on my gf's new laptop. flipped the laptop over and dump as much of it out as I could. Then put it on top of a baking rack and put that over the forced air heating vent. I'm using that exact laptop 5 years later right now.
phforNZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Five more years, iirc. I remember reading that story too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As long as nothing shorts, NBD. But the overwhelming majority of the time, something will short.
The laptop I am using had some liquid spilt on it. I use a USB keyboard since most the buttons don't work and when I turn it on I spam click the N button on the laptop keyboard or it beeps and won't start.
Then I need to click the N button or it will scroll down nonstop and act like a key is nonstop pressed (I don't know which keys or etc), but Until I click the N button, the usb keyboard won't work.
But apart from that it works perfectly fine.
Valdrax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Electronics remind me a lot of human bodies in that they are both somehow simultaneously far tougher and far more fragile than you'd expect, often unpredictably so.
This is true. I spilled water on my own laptop years ago while it was running. Back then I was stupider about electronics, so I flipped it over and shook it a few times to try to drain the water out. After letting it dry for a little while, booted back up and went back to work. Laptop actually worked better than ever before and is still going today.
Later saw someone else spill water on their almost-new MacBook Pro. It shut itself off immediately, which was worrisome, but after letting it dry for a few days (without shaking this time) it too booted up fine.
A friend of mine got hired to make a CGI film in India in the 90s when it was still a bit primitive. He flew to India ahead of the crew and arrived to help set up the studio to find that all their expensive Silicon Graphics workstations were sitting in a customs brokerage's yard on pallets outside and had been there for 6 months through monsoon season waiting to clear. They opened them up and all the motherboards were coated in green algae. They hosed them all off and let them dry out for a couple days, then reassembled them and surprisingly about half of them worked. They produced probably the worst CGI movie ever released using those machines. He cashed his check and moved to LA to work on the Matrix movies doing motion capture.
I had a laptop that went through so much abuse it should've died multiple times.
Three years after getting it as a graduation present I spilled a full can of sweet tea on it. I immediately powered it off, took the battery out and let it dry for a few days. It powered up without any issue and, besides the sticky keys, it worked fine.
Since it was already a pain to use, it transitioned to playing music in the shower (2006 was a tough year for bathroom speakers). It still played music fine but every once in a while the screen would shut down and only come back if I applied pressure in just the right spots.
A couple years later it recovered and was working a little more consistently. Not great but enough to be turn off of bathroom duty. My roommate was using it and spilled a cup of water on/in it. He turned it off and flipped it over to dry. When I got home an hour later he told me what happened and showed me my computer. He had turned it over, right into the power button. This thing had been running for about an hour after it got soaked.
I pulled the battery out and put it away for a bit. I forgot about it for a week or so as I was trying to figure out a way to get a new computer. I decided to power it up and see if I could recover anything that was on it.
Surprisingly, it worked like a champ! It ran as fast as always, the screen stayed on, and the keys were no longer sticky. This thing kept going for a year until I got another laptop. I sold it to a friend for super cheap and it lasted his daughter another couple years.
I'm sure this only happened because of all my previous electronic sacrifices to the Aqua god. I was a irresponsible youth...
Had a friend whose wife spilled a cup of coffee on her keyboard. He tossed it in the dishwasher, ran it through a regular wash cycle including drying, hooked it back up and it worked fine. Go figure.
That happened to me too. My Compaq Proliant 800 was full of water and kept running slower and slower until I managed to shut it down (that was a tense few minutes). Dried it out with the exhaust side of a data-vac and reassembled it. It ran for several more years before I replaced it.
I spilt an entire glass of water on the first laptop my parents gave me as a teenager. I was horrified but I dried it out and let it sit a couple of days before turning it on again. Worked just fine. It even made that frying noise you hear in the movies, so I thought it was done for.
In my experience the water itself or shorting doesn't generally cause that much damage. I guess modern electronics is pretty durable in that regard.
Residue on the other hand? Yea, that fucks them up. Distilled air con water won't leave that behind, so probably good.
Source: Impressed at how effective sonic baths or whatever the repair center uses can fix broken laptops from spills without replacing parts.
igdub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:04:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would imagine the air from waterconditioning unit is more pure. Talking from a far off memory but I believe it's the shit that's in the water that's the most harmful agent when dried.
Do you have the link to this story. It may be my work, this happened to us just before Christmas last year.
Our server room fire prevention system thought there was a fire, so it soaked the server room. 2 weeks of 'im sorry all our systems are down currently' then boom, it dried out and 'works' again.
And I was suprised enough when my usb stick still worked after going through the washing machine. It wasn't even one on the ones with a cap, just a loose metal cover that spins around to cover the front.
Have a handheld GPS that was under water for three days (boat capsized while I was away). Device was full. Took it apart, let it dry. Still works years later.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As long as the water doesn't cause a short or corrosion, it won't do much. Technically you should be able to pour distilled water over a powered pc with minimal consequences. I wouldn't recommend it though.
crozone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just wipe/spray the mobo down with Isopropyl alcohol, it'll remove any corrosion that might have bridged contacts, and help evaporate any water that remains.
Since it was condensation, it was distilled water. Therefore, not conductive. Hypothetically, anyways. I imagine and actuality it depends on how clean the server casing was and how much dust it picked up on the way inside.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
About two weeks ago I spilled a full cup of coffee directly onto the keyboard of my laptop, while it was powered on. After immediately powering it off and d/cing the battery, giving it a wipedown and letting it air-dry for like 3 hours, motherfucker still works. I'm amazed how waterproof SOME modern laptops can be (and mine ain't fancy just some best buy HP $500 stuff). I fully expected to have to replace it, but after two treatments with alcohol and q-tips all I have to show for my stupid coffee placement is a sticky spacebar.
And I thought it was lucky when my cat spilled a bowl of milk onto my laptop and it didn't explode. (Laptop has survived for about a year and a half since the milk incident.)
I've spilt things on two laptops, first lemonade and second water. Both work after pulling them apart and drying them out. One needed a new keyboard though, but a couple years on they are fine
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:49:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was playing Resident evil on the Wii. There are quick time events that require you to swing the remote or press a button. I got one that required you to swing the remote left and right really fast. Knocked over an entire glass of iced tea onto my laptop. I dropped the remote and unplugged the laptop and took the battery out. Let the laptop dry out for a day or two after using a towel to dry as much as I could fist. Fired it up after two days and it works just fine. Had to use a Clorox while to get the keys to stop sticking.
Which is bullshit. When you destroy a notebook, you probably want to destroy the data. The hard drive is more or less waterproof, so they (at best) only destroy the rest of the hardware.
No no no, the only reliable ways to kill a computer are to bash the monitor with a baseball bat or to shoot that box on the desk called the hard drive at least twice.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
However beware the memory stick. That could be a wmd for all we know, bwtter hack it by hitting random keys over a green backdrop
exelion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:23:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Water won't likely affect a hard drive much which is the part you generally care about destroying in those scenes.
That will very likely fry some component, but the data is very likely recoverable.
Had a lan party where someone spilled two entire beers into his (open) computer case. It took a few hours with a hair dryer and towels, but we got it up and running again, and renamed the computer Frankenstein.
I have an old, banged up Amiga lying around that has had everything from water and soda to tea and coffee spilled in it, and it still runs fine. It's a trooper.
I actually spilled a whole nalgene water bottle on mine while using it. Luckily, I acted fast and removed the battery and kept the laptop upside down until it was completely drained. Then, I put a fan on the keyboard for a few hours and I swear it runs faster now.
The context is that Indian dramas always have the character of the naive, uneducated but well meaning wife or daughter in law who marries up and makes a few mistakes trying to assimilate into her new class status. Idk, I guess it's a trope that people love. In this case, I'm guessing the husband mentioned something about the laptop needing to be rebooted or cleaned and she took that to mean actually cleaning it.
There was a big stink recently when some of us found that they made a new spin-off series where Amelia Bedelia is a 12-year old kid and that's why she's so literal now.
The whole point was that she was a grown woman having trouble with english, and we could sympathize with that since we were all still learning it ourselves! If you have to cheapen the premise, at least change her name! Otherwise, what, are you implying she didn't improve one bit in 20 years? What message is that sending?!
I used to work with a woman who would periodically clean her keyboard by spraying copious amounts 409 directly on the keys and wiping across the whole thing.
Oh man that reminds me, we had these laptops on carts that nurses would use when dispensing meds. One day we get a ticket that just says it's not working, send a new tech up to get the laptop so we can look at it in the shop.
As he enters the shop he starts going up the ramp, I see yellow liquid falling out of it and tell him to stop and go wash his hands really well.
Grabbed a biohazard bag and taped the whole thing up and brought it back up to the floor. Sat down with the nurse manager and had a nice long talk about biosafety and how one of her nurses spilled a urine sample on said laptop.
Then I politely asked her to have the laptop disposed of as a biohazard.
Poor new tech, he was gagging when I told him what was in that laptop.
A few years back when I was in college the warranty was going to expire soon on my shitty laptop. I proceeded to leave it outside in the snow and -10 degree weather for a week. Brought it back inside, and the fucking thing is still working, 7 years later. Granted, it's not my primary laptop anymore.
1cculu5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have 2-24 inch monitors that were in a room that flooded and I mean big time flooded, they were dripping when I found them and we wrote them off as damaged and replaced them.
Left them by a cooling vent in the data center for 2 weeks to make sure they were completely dry. Plugged them in and viola they worked, now they are sitting on my home desktop.
Sometimes electronics refuse to die.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:41:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guy spilt a glass of water on his laptop and complained very loudly that it wasn't working. When I picked it up and the water ran out I said that's why.
His response was priceless "What kind of an idiot do you think I am, all laptops are waterproof".
I had his manager explain that they weren't...
He's actually a time traveler from the future, where all laptops are water-proof.
I wish this man was correct. I miss having a laptop. My desktop is great but I knew spilling rum and coke all over my MacBook probably wouldn't be a one time deal. 2013 was a rough one for me.
Most computers can survive getting wet you just need to let it dry out for a few days before trying to turn it back on. It only breaks when you try to power it up while it's still wet
I use to use Cain and Abel to mess with my friends and remote control their computers. I would embed the client into a cute little program that said played the happy birthday song and said enjoy your present, a coffee cup holder and it would pop open the cd-rom drive.
Then I could use their camera, install a keylogger, generate random system error messages "Your dilithium crystals need recrystallizing".
Tons of fun.
[deleted] ยท -24 points ยท Posted at 20:45:07 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because they don't. You're full of it. Even a power supply dying just pops and smokes. Nothing in your computer could generate an actual explosion regardless of size.
i've had one or two eat themselves destructively. failed capacitors can go off really loudly and if something shorts the insulation is going to smolder and produce a ton of smoke.
tpb1908 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:07:06 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe, I think there are some videos on YouTube of proper explosions. Most of the time I think they just smoke/catch fire. I suppose the capacitors could blow up with a bit of a bang.
Mine exploded last year. I was downstairs at the time and heard what sounded like a shelf falling over and a quick flash of light. Went upstairs to see the pc gently smoking in the corner
I have seen two instances of this. My first, was when I was overclocking an 80486. I had rigged up my own fan (as those little 20mm fans just weren't doing it), and used electrical tape over the new power connections... I was 12 or 13 at the time. At one point, I shut off the power and flipped the machine over to adjust power and multiplier settings.
The tape moved. The machine hadn't finished shutting off yet, and the now exposed power cable landed up against the motherboards chipset. That was the single most violent reaction I have seen in a computer. Blasted a hole right through the motherboard. And the chipset for what that is worth.
Second one is even more comical really. In high school we had a computer networking class. Part of this included A+ prep, and at the time the A+ prep included tearing apart a PC and putting it back together. A buddy of mine and I decided to be a smart ass - and tore apart EVERYTHING. Power supply in pieces, case in pieces, etc. Just ripped apart. Labeled all the parts, and reassembled. Killed a day screwing around with it.
Some of our classmates were... well, less smart. They didn't know their limits, and these were older AT style machines. They decided to do the same because it was a great waste of time. Only when one of them plugged it in, the power cord exploded in his hand. They had shorted the power supply. Lots of screaming and crying was involved. The instructor lost her shit, blamed my partner and I, and completely forgot to let that kid get medical attention. I laughed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:24 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that never happens
Skuldpt ยท 434 points ยท Posted at 22:54:58 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had an art history teacher that would blame everything on the "cookies". Browser dragging itself? Cookies. Taking too long to load a video on yt? Cookies. School internet acting up? Cookies. Windows had to update? Damn cookies. Computer had to restart? These damn cookies.
And no, she wasn't playing around, she also googled for google every time.
Probably watched too much of the local TV news. "And at 11, we'll tell you about the computer threat everyone needs to watch out for. It's called 'cookies', and you won't believe what it can do." Then when you tune in, the reporter mangles the information and leaves viewers with the impression that computers can install a GPS chip into their skull if they stare at the monitor for too long.
My dad still insists on deleting my history when my browser lags. He also would delete the history/cookies/passwords himself after a session on my computer, which is also annoying.
DrPinus ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 12:16:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yeees... I am certain that's why he insists on deleting the history whenever someone else is near the computer... Lag. Or any other tre letter word, take your pick.
Friends my age will do this to me, I assume because they just want the answer without having to do anything. I sent one of them a link from lmgtfy.com and they were amazed, laughed and said "I'm going to need to send this to my dad next time he asks me a question!"
Completely missing the fact that I was making fun of them...
I had this girl who I am friends with but she is interested in more than that (I'm not) ask me these questions all the time. I came to realize that in this case she knew how to Google things but she used questions as an excuse to talk to me. I did the lmgtfy a few times and it also went over her head. Unfortunately, I also have had to tell her a few times that all I'm interested in is being friends. She doesn't really do it anymore.
Ha, I did this to my mom and she didn't get it at all, just thanked me for getting her the info she wanted. This was after multiple times of telling her "ok, so just type exactly what you are asking me into google and you will find the answer"
igdub ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 09:18:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they want to start up a conversation? I do that at work all the time. Sure I could google up every single question from weather to anything else and solve it myself but some social interaction never harms.
People in my office do this all the time and it has literally never occurred to me that they could be trying to strike up a conversation. I always just thought they were idiots.
I still think they're idiots but I guess they're at least friendly idiots.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:27:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's always two options, look at it as 'they're lazy' or look at it like 'they trust you to have the right answer because they know you're the smart one'.
most of the trick of google is learning to use the best search string. I actually dont mind when people send me lmgtfy links because I might learn something
I had a coworker once who would IM me these kinds of questions. "What's the capital of Cambodia?" well idk, you have access to Google just like I do. I was training her on some aspects of her job, but most of these questions were ridiculous
Could she have been interested in you? I posted in a reply earlier that there was a girl who liked me who would use those situations as an excuse to start a conversation.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:38:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend's 13 year old sister is always bugging him and sometimes me about things she could easily google herself, and she gets mad when she receives the answer, "I don't know, google it."
She also complained one day that she doesn't like her mesh wire trashcan because any crumbs she puts in there just get on her floor. When I asked if a bag was in it she went, "Ohhhh... you're supposed to put bags in them?"
The bag thing seems more a failing on her parents part... i mean clearly she should have figured it out by then, but wtf why didnt her parents teach her that?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:01:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The trashcan in the kitchen had a trash bag though.
jmon3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:04 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happens with my Dad ALL the time. "I'm thinking of getting an ACER 3X400ZYM-R, is that a good computer?"
Ahh! I had a customer at work ask me where the nearest retail location to her was. This is an 18 yr old going to college, and I work in a call center. She took 20+ minutes out of her day because she could manage to google maps where the nearest location to her was?????? ๐ก๐ก๐ก
There was a few years where I lived in an apartment with my girlfriend where she'd be on the couch with her laptop in the same room as I, I'd be at my desk on my desktop doing something, and then she would ask me a question. Mostly I would type the question into google verbatim and just tell her the response (or go to the site and read for a moment or two first), which would then follow with a comment along the lines of "you know, I'm literally just typing your question into google." This sort of statement usually doesn't elicit the desired outcome.
Now we've moved to a house, which is larger and with more rooms, and she is still often doing her work/email/browsing downstairs on the sofa still. Difference being that now I am upstairs in my office at these times typically and I don't (as often) get these questions. I'm not sure, however, if she has accepted not knowing things more frequently or if she has learned herself.
My mom just says "look this up for me" followed by whatever she wants to know. I guess Im her secretary. Never fucking.mind she HAS A SMARTPHOME SHE CAN LOOK THIS UP ON
OR HER OWN COMPUTER.
But nooo the only thing she bothers to learn when it comes to the computer is FACEBOOK!!
My boyfriend's sister does this all the time. Like at 2 in the morning she'll Facebook me and ask me questions that are completely random, like typical specs on a car she's thinking of buying or what the county fair's schedule is or which school in our state has the best, cheapest online program for education majors.
Totally nuts, and I can't stop it even by not answering. She once told me at a family gathering that she sees it as my job because I am a librarian.
if you literally enter the question into Google you will get an answer.
In a lot of cases you actually can.
cerem86 ยท 1606 points ยท Posted at 21:27:35 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My time to shine! I work in IT, and have done PC Repair for the past ten years before this job.
The most illiterate thing was honestly when this poor soul explained she'd been saving pictures of her kids/grandkids to her computer for the past year when they emailed them to her. One of her grandkids ended up losing a battle to cancer, though, and she wanted to print out the pictures of him to give to her daughter.
I couldn't find them, so asked her to show me how she saves one and emailed her a picture off my phone. She got it, opened the email, clicked respond, clicked on the attachment thing and scanned absolutely nothing to a reply then emailed it out and deleted the original.
I had to explain to the poor woman she'd been erasing all of those pictures that got sent to her through email.
Edit:
Some people seem confused.
She was literally replying to the emails and scanning an attachment from her scanner. Nothing was in said scanner. Somehow she thought this was saving the pictures. No, I do not know how in the world she got that idea into her head. When you deal with these people enough you honestly stop asking that question because you literally see it on a daily basis. Those stories about people who think saving stuff to the recycle bin is A-OK? Those are true.
We did check her sent folder, but unfortunately it only had a few months worth of sent items. Before anyone asks, no I don't know where they went.
Good news is most, not all but most, of the pictures were able to be recovered from various social media sites. Yes, the daughter in question had the pictures on her facebook and an old myspace account. No, I do not know why the women wanted to print them out to give her knowing this, but she did and I honestly thought it was kind of sweet of her.
So what if he's dead. It's not impossible to get into his email. besides, someone in another comment said that apparently most of the photos were up on facebook anyway
I used to work the photolab at Walmart. The number of times people wanted pictures off a USB stick or camera card and I'm like "there's nothing in here" is ridiculous. People would go on trips and take pictures and they weren't being saved or some shit is just insane.
gelfius ยท 131 points ยท Posted at 23:59:29 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The "my time to shine" made me think this was going to be a funny story :(
cerem86 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:27:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah....that was really mean of me to put there....
I don't get how people come up with that kind of procedure.
"My car doesn't start."
"Ok, show me how you do it."
Puts the key in, but doesn't turn it; turns the wheel to the right; takes the key out; opens the trunk, throws the key in, closes the trunk; goes back to front seat.
[The screen fades out from black, a white border surrounding the camera.]
[cerem86 adjusts tie, watching the birth of a new meme.]
[The flashback ends, cerem86 sitting at a desk, crying.]
cerem86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You forget me getting the thousand yard stare while in the background you can faintly here someone saying "Well it says right there it's free, so why wouldn't I install it? This is all your fault, you worked on it last year!"
One of those cases where the truth is so out there that we think you're somehow wrong at first blush.
cerem86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:21:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I was. Thankfully we were able to get a lot off of various social media accounts, like her daughter's FB and a really old Myspace.....I didn't even know Myspace still existed when this happened lol.
[deleted] ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 03:02:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
nmdarkie ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 23:07:25 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've had to do something similar. A partner in our law firm had taken a bunch of photos of a family member while on holidays and later on they had died. It was only then he realised that he wanted to take the photos off his phone. Unfortunately it had been factory reset and wiped in every way imaginable between then and now, and because these were work phones with crappy cameras nobody backed up any photos. He just about cried when I told him I coudn't retrieve the photos of his last time hanging out with this guy :(
Still not as depressing as the time I had to sort through the email of a colleague who had recently been killed in a terrorist bombing trying to find documents about his legal proceedings with his ex about his daughter so we could forward them to his executor :/
Had something similar. All families photos were saved on the family PC. No backups of course. This family got themselves a crypto-trojan demanding 500โฌ. Those fuckers often only encrypt the first bytes of files because it speeds up the encrtyption by hours while being destructive enough to render the file useless.
At first i tried to restore the files by comparing them against the same file from a healthy computer, but the version already fixed that flaw. Than i ran a program over the files searching for image headers, because many images have smaller versions of themselves inside the file. I could actually restore most of the images just at something like 240p. Wasnt good enough for the customer. I guess the pictures werent that important after all.
cerem86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The people who came up with that thing need to be put against a wall and shot, in my opinion.
And I don't even think the members of the WBC are that deserving of a bullet.
hgfdsgvh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:45:33 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She's sweet, you're sweet, you're all sweet!!! <3 and I can totally explain why she wanted to print them out besides being "old-fashioned." Not only did her daughter lose a daughter but she lost a granddaughter. Physical pictures mean sooo much more than "hold on, let me get my flip phone out." She could have been making an album for herself, her daughter, or both... looking through a physical album to reminisce isn't even close to viewing the pictures electronically regardless of age...
cto917 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:40:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not lost ya know.
Get on the email account it was sent from, sent folder. Sort: sent to. There ya go!
I mean it would involve resending every single email that was sent to her over the past year but...
mossadi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:36 on August 25, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Hi,
Here's why your comment is confusing. "...clicked on the attachment thing and scanned absolutely nothing to a reply..." - 'Scanned absolutely nothing to a reply' is a really poorly structured sentence and introduces a scanner into the story in a confusing way because the word 'scanned' doesn't only apply to scanning images. For those who were lucky and immediately assumed you were talking about the peripheral, the excerpt "absolutely nothing to a reply" is almost nothing but gibberish. Many people don't use a scanner or webcam to capture on the spot photos/videos for sending which makes the sentence even more nonsensical. Being one of those people, I have to ask whether such a thing is even possible (I don't mean possible in the literal sense, but are there any email programs that have a feature which allows on the spot insertion of newly scanned photos?). I'm sitting here thinking maybe she's opening her email, hitting respond, pressing the scan button on her scanner, then attaching the resulting image to the email.
Anyways having given all of that criticism here is how I think you should have worded it... "I couldn't find them, so I asked her to show me how she saves one and used my phone to email her a picture. She got it, opened the email, and clicked respond. Then, although her scanner was empty, she hit the scan button and attached the blank image that was produced to the email and presssed. Then she deleted the original email."
I believe that version is effective at conveying the message and it's concise, although I didn't count the amount of words in the before and after messages because the amount of energy I've already put into this comment is a little weird even to me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am wondering why, in that whole time, did nobody ask why she kept replying to their emails with blank messages.
She got it, opened the email, clicked respond, clicked on the attachment thing and scanned absolutely nothing to a reply then emailed it out and deleted the original.
This it a bit confusing to me. Care to explain what she did and why she thought that was right?
agoia ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:16:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had one of these yesterday. I think they spilled something in their keyboard and it went crazy, because her excel sheet had scrolled to the right so far that it was in triple digit letters. Freaking out because she lost all of her data and all I did was grab the scroll bar at the bottom and pull it back over to the left.
I recently had to show a co-worker that you can move between excel cells using the arrow keys.
I am baffled on a daily basis that no one uses keyboard shortcuts. I use the keyboard for everything except for scrolling (sometimes page up/page down is better) and right-click context menus, and even then I only use the mouse to open the menu.
No one uses the Ctrl key! Or Alt! No one uses Home and End! WHY?
To be fair, when you've been working on spreadsheets for several hours a day, you do go a little crazy and if things shift it's very likely to cause a panic attack.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, it's really hard to scroll straight on Excel.
To be fair, when you've been working on spreadsheets for several hours a day, you do go a little crazy and if things shift it's very likely to cause a panic attack.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a certificate of proficiency in computering and I still get scared by that
[deleted] ยท 388 points ยท Posted at 23:16:42 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Every oilfield company man I ever encounter wants to keep my fucking thumb drive when I bring them data.
Its just a few files dude. Copy and paste that shit onto your computer and give me my thumb drive back.
I dont spend ten dollars each on those things just to hand them out to every one of you jerk offs.
SyKrysus ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 09:35:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck man, this brings back nightmares. I used to setup satellite communications out on locations for company men and toolpushers. All I was responsible for was setting up internet lines and telephones. But by god if I didn't setup and fix everything on their personal computers then "WHAT THE FUCK DO WE PAY YOU FOR?!?!"
TEG24601 ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 05:27:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
$10?
Hell, 16GB is only $4 at Office Depot/Max, USB 3.0.
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 07:38:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but super cheap flash is pretty unreliable, especially when it's been used for a while.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 07:52:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but super cheap flash is pretty unreliable, especially when it's been used for a while.
I once bought a usb flash drive from the dollar store, which was actually $3.00, and it was such a huge piece of shit. It took ages to transfer even small files, and then after a couple uses it just stopped working.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:02:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got a usb flash drive on ebay for like a buck once. All it did was get super hot, and then the usb port wouldn't work at all anymore after I unplugged it.
Ok, so here is what you do. Make friends with someone that works in a computer lab at a community college, or such. They find bags of abandoned thumb drives that they can't give away.
My buddy that works a lab keeps all the "big" drives, and gives me a bag per month of sub-16gb drives, mostly 1-4 gb. I use them as throwaways, and don't care if they come back.
Buy them in bulk for $2 each, then tell them that they can keep them for a nominal fee of $8.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:39:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats a great idea but I would probably get fired lol.
My company used to give them to us in bulk for the purpose of handing them out. They stopped because of cost cuts. Now I always ask for it back after they get what they need off of it. Most customers still expect to keep them though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah see, some drill sites have public wifi. If that is the case, it is no problem to just email my files to the company man. Most sites do not allow contractors to use their wifi. Thats why I have to put my survey data on a thumb drive and walk it over to the company man's trailer.
If he's working oilfields he's probably out on large open spaces a lot. Might not make sense to have every collection of trailers have access to the same network drive.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*Proceeds to wander the mouse around the screen for a while*
"It's the Blue E, right there."
*Takes another few seconds, finds it, and proceeds to click it repeatedly for a solid 4+ seconds, a window opens up with 10+ tabs*
"See? It runs so slow!"
Edit: For clarity, we have to run IE at our company because some database stuff our intranet uses works only with IE.
[deleted] ยท 1025 points ยท Posted at 22:10:26 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 382 points ยท Posted at 00:44:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
agk23 ยท 266 points ยท Posted at 02:22:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Believe it or not it's actually the same program, which is one of the reasons IE was such a shitty browser for so long. Your dad probably saw explorer, saw the url bar and just got lucky
orthag ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 02:30:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It used to be the same program. I'm pretty sure Internet Explorer forked from Windows Explorer a while ago.
I just tried typing the Facebook URL into Windows Explorer (Win10) and it did nothing for a while, but after 10-15 seconds a new Facebook tab opened on Google Chrome. I guess they left it in there as a foolproof?
daemin ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 11:48:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
MS and Apple have always taken fundamentally different attitudes towards backwards compatibility. Where as Apple has deliberately drawn lines in the sand where they break backwards compatibility for the sake of making the OS better, MS has bent over backwards to ensure that applications from older versions of windows still work. They've gone so far as to implement code that only gets invoked for certain enterprise applications, which depended on bugs in older version of windows and would not work in versions where the bug was fixed. This (sometimes) gets extended to trying to preserve workflow for the users.
Hopping on to say that this shit is Windows 10's namesake. Windows 9 would have been recognized by a lot of legacy code as windows 9x, so they had to skip 9 to avoid it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:23:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
You look at the stars
Deiss ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:04:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I don't know if it's an official reason, but it's certainly come up a lot in speculation.
Basically, there are two ways to get the windows version number. The official route will give you the same version number as ver.exe (to test this, winkey+r, cmd (return), ver (return). On a current windows 10 system you'll get Version 10.0.10586).
But, a lot of developers get lazy and check the OS Name instead of the version number. I say 'Get', instead of 'Got', because there's an eff-tonne of code out there that still does it. Presumably, most of that code would require admin privileges to run without breaking on 10 (trying to save data to its install directory), and it undermines the whole security policy if people get in the habit of just blindly telling UAC to let programs run as admin.
Edit to add : The version numbers for the windows 95/98/ME family are 4.x.xxxx. Windows 8 variants are 6.2.xxxx, 8.1 is 6.3.xxxx, and then it jumps to 10.0.xxxx for 10 and Server 2016. No idea why the jump's there, but there you go.
XAM2175 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 12:27:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Along these lines, Excel deliberately and incorrectly treats the year 1900 as being a leap year in order to give full compatibility with Lotus 1-2-3's date-calculation system.
This same effort for compatibility means that the date epoch for both programs is 0 Jan 1900, so that 1 Jan will appear as day 1.
A related behavior that's actually very useful is that you can put a URL into the file chooser dialog and it will download the file and choose it. So if a program wants you to select an image from your computer for whatever, you can grab one directly from the internet instead.
That goes down right to the CreateFile() API, the subroutine that opens (or creates, but contrary to the name, it handles both cases) the actual file.
Whether it's a local file or one on the internet, it'll work about equally - there can be different error conditions, the internet is usually a lot slower, etc. but the programmer doesn't need to handle the cases separately.
If you go down to the API level, you'll find out that there's a department that actually knows their shit. Too bad that Marketing goes "Fuck that, we'll just make another GUI" all the time. (The last major improvement was 64-bit addressing.)
Oh cool, didn't realize it's happening all the way at that level. Figured it was just part of Windows explorer. Treating local files and URLs exactly the same is a neat idea.
Yeah, by all accounts it seems like windows is a really awesome, well designed os with lots of really bad decisions piled on top.
The address space management is just as neat.
Programs can handle their own page faults. That means that at least in theory, a program which runs out of RAM can save part of its data to disk, or even compress the data before doing so.
In practice, the most common use of that feature is an error handling subroutine, or one that dumps part of the data to disk for debugging purposes, but you could, for example, trigger garbage collection and retry.
And that feature has been there since Windows 98 (probably 95).
Nope, you hit the nail on the head for the antitrust suit. I believe what they actually did to solve the antitrust issue was spin IE off into another company.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, I understand now, thanks for being patient =P
They actually created a separate version of Windows without IE bundled. They've also had to do that in the past in response to an antitrust suit against Windows Media Player.
I believe European versions of Windows now ask which major browser you'd like to use when you first connect them to the internet, and downloads the chosen browser from the appropriate source.
Yep, this is what I used to bypass the login for the internet filter in my library. 12 year old me really wanted to play some runescape, but only 14 year olds were allowed to go on the internet.
hicow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:03:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
indeed. IE is iexplore.exe, Windows Explorer is explore.exe.
I've done it before when lazy to go between the two. Or just to confuse people who think I don't know my arse from my... Arm bending thing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
IE is integrated in the windows explorer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my GOSH Microsoft why
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:43:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember my dad somehow wandering into the CMOS screen. He didn't know how he got there or how to get out. He really didn't like the panicked look on my face when I saw him clicking on shit in that blue screen. My 16 year old hand snatched the mouse out of his, and I told him, "No." Click click, and it's back to the start menu. "How did you do that?" "Dad, you're not allowed to start the computer anymore."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:20:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do that because it was convenient at the time (elementary school, 1997). I kind of miss it sometimes, it's such a burden to move my hand a bit and switch to my open browser window.
I used to do this when i was little while using the church computer. For some reason the internet only worked when i accessed it through the file explorer. I always thought i was being really smart and bypassing some kind of filter but probably wasn't the case
We used to do this at my primary school to get around the blocked internet. You couldn't open IE, but if you went to file explorer and typed a URL that would work for some reason. Discovered it completely by accident and forgot it was a thing until just now
LtWorf_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The reason being that internet explorer and file explorer used to be the same software.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's amazing. I just tried; it opened an additional tab in the chrome window I'm currently using.
They are part of the same function of windows for a long while (XP through 7 IIRC), which is why IE can't be uninstalled. Also why Microsoft faced fines and suits in Europe.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it works the other way too.. if you open up IE and type file:/// it will show you your files.
I always thought that was microsoft's selling point for the file explorer, that you could transition between local and web browsing with the same interface.
Kamaria ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:01:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shit I have trouble explaining things even in person. There's so many things I take for granted just knowing that some people don't even have a basic grasp of and they don't seem willing to learn either.
I was so infuriated when Windows 10 magically appeared on my laptop and desktop. Considering going back to 7 if I could ensure that I wouldn't get another involuntary update.
I rolled back, seems to be leaving me alone now. Pestered me for months, I finally did it, turns out my laptop graphics card is not supported. Thanks MS, "Windows 10 ready!" my ass.
Iminicus ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 01:24:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If the laptop you purchased had a Windows 10 Ready sticker, that isn't MS' fault but the manufacturer. Also, it is up to the hardware manufacturer's to release compatible drivers, not MS. Stop blaming Microsoft for shit that isn't in their control.
Maybe manufacturer's should roll out drivers since they are given fair warning of an update to the Windows system and allowed time to develop and test?
You still blame MS for something, that once again isn't in their control.
Maybe manufacturer's should roll out drivers since they are given fair warning of an update to the Windows system
Maybe MS shouldn't remove support for old drivers, since the glorious "new Windows system" is 90% oldsauce, 5% new GUI, and 5% badly implemented new "features" nobody wants anyway...
I nevere said MS removes support for older drivers. So don't put words in my mouth. Also, older drivers have to be signed to be compatible by...wait for it...THE MANUFACTURER, not Microsoft.
I nevere said MS removes support for older drivers
Well if Win7 worked flawlessly and Win10 suddenly doesn't, they obviously did.
Iminicus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:35:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you miss the part where I wrote the Manufacturer's need to get their drivers signed to work with Windows 10? Cause I think you missed that part. The fault of driver incompatibility lies with the Manufacturers of the hardware, not MS.
I have the opposite problem. I bought a new laptop recently and got a Windows 7 install disk with it. After a lot of searching online and at the manufacturer's site it turns out that some of the components don't have Win 7 compatible drivers.
I miss file manager (I think that's what it was called) in earlier versions of Windows. For someone who was relatively experienced with computers back in the 3.1/95 days, the file structure of a hard drive on Windows 7/8/10 doesn't even make sense to me anymore.
Yeah, the user folder is part of what confuses me to begin with. I don't remember those existing back in the day. I know it's not a separate drive or anything but it acts like it is. Are those folders somewhere on the (usually) C drive?
Deiss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:48:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the home folders are c:\users\<accountname>.
There's also a hidden directory that's good to know about, which is c:\users\<accountname>\appdata
The idea is that these folders are locked - unless you're logged in with root/admin privileges, you can't access somebody else's home folder. That means that on a PC with multiple users, every can still have their privacy - you can't go rooting through someone's private documents or internet history without their permission.
You can redirect these folders too. As an example, my documents, downloads, music, and video folders are all on my e: drive (c: is a small SSD, putting my music library there would eat space it doesn't have).
It's basically a way of hiding the physical locations of the folders from programs - instead of programs trying to save in their install directory (bad) or forcing users to trawl through the file system and remember where the documents folder is, it's presented as a top level folder (as you said, like a drive). Less chance of confusing people that don't understand computers, and it makes it easier for admins to move things around behind the scenes, as the user doesn't need to know that their documents folder has been moved to a network drive to access it. The only thing we're really missing is the ability to move %programfiles% off the c: drive.
No kidding. We have a smaller office so whenever possible I just get up and go to the user to see what's going on. So much easier than trying to reason with how they've got Windows set up remotely.
gnorty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:12:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
internet explorer works just fine as a file explorer. Also, last time I looked (years ago tbh) file explorer worked just fine to surf the net.
"Now that the control panel is open, let's try to figure out which of the fifteen layouts its arbitrarily decided to use"
Control panel is simultaneously one of the most fundamental and yet inconsistent features on a PC.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:10:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I did more Windows support I tried to have them use as many hotkeys as possible. It's like tricking them into doing the right thing. "Do you see the key with the little windows logo on it? No, how about one with a wavy flag on it? No not that one. The one next to the Alt key... No, not the long blank one or the X, the one to the left with the little wavy flag. Yeah, hold that down and hit E"
Just tell them to hold the windows key and push E. I've found it takes the confusion out of looking for my computer icon or similar, especially if they have the desktop from hell with a bazillion icons.
Learn the right things to type into the search box rather than going through the control panel. Ex: Need to to get to Services? Don't fuck around with multiple step directions. "Press the Windows key, type services.msc and hit enter".
Nulono ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:10 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad set over 20 pinned tabs on Google Chrome that open up every time he opened a new browser window. He'd then use one or two and then close the browser.
Then he calls me up and asks why it's so slow all the time. (I don't know, maybe it's because you have 20 pinned tabs that you never use? (or maybe the 6 "clean my PC" programs all running at once, but that's a different story))
And when I told him about the bookmarks bar he refused to use it.
I don't get it. "I have a problem." "Here is how you solve the problem." "I don't want to solve the problem."
There is NOTHING wrong with having multiple tabs open over browser session. That's what tabs are for! In the browser I'm currently typing this from, I have 48 tabs open. In another browser, I have 11, and in another browser (all different vendors) I have 8.
Yeah, our place is IE heavy too. Support for the other major browsers is iffy. But FF isn't locked down by any group policies, so I use that. Only one I can install my add-ons.
We recently discovered our external-facing website will not run on the version of ie our computers are locked on. It tells us the browser is outdated and we should upgrade it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:45:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I feel you. My office will only use IE. The funny thing is, our Head Office uses Google Chrome now, and has switched everything over to that, yet our office refuses to do so for some odd reason..
Well, likely because its ubiquitous. It makes perfect sense.
Every PC will have Internet Explorer. The same cannot be said about any other Web Browser. For a lot of these specialized applications provided by a vendor, why would you put the effort into making sure it runs on more than one browser?
And then with upgrades and release SU's and such, have to have released for them as well, not to mention testing. It doesn't make sense.
What gets really annoying is when it works on a specific version and they don't update it for newer versions of I.E. And then your stuck having I.E 4.2 installed on youR PC and you can't upgrade it because then the application (or certain aspects of it) won't work.
Aethien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:33:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No clue on who thought that was a good idea.
It's probably not a bad idea, most people will be familiar with IE and switching browsers seems to trigger the "it's too complicated and I don't know what to do!" reflex in way more people than you'd expect it to.
igdub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Corporate world has a ton of shit that's mainly supported on IE. Only edgy kids always respond to these threads when they see IE mentioned.
Go down to Browser Requirements for Viewing Reports, and for 2012 R2 (and also 2008 r2) and they rolled out support for Firefox and Chrome. The change also has introduced some glitches that affect IE only, so it's nice now to have more than one option!
Same with the company I work for. Every day about half of my cases are internet settings and changing the default browser from edge to IE When they upgrade to 10. I have to know the system front to back and can diagnose most issues before they finish their first sentence but my time is spent adjusting the internet settings...
Damned be the developers that are still maintaining IE-only apps. Good luck upgrading to IE11.
xelle24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, my former boss did that. Her computer was always full of malware and half a dozen taskbars, and she couldn't wait all of 2 seconds for anything to open. She'd buy a new computer at least once a year because "the old one was too slow". Things did get marginally better when I got her to use Firefox instead of IE. She'd only have 5 windows open instead of 10.
Once had a guy that kept clicking on everything, I tried to be nice but after a few minutes of getting nowhere I asked what he was clicking and denied he was. told him I could here it thru the phone and that if he wanted to get off the phone fast with a working internet to do exactly what I told him and no more. Scolded him like a little kid got props from co-workers and boss!
we have to run IE at our company because some database stuff our intranet uses works only with IE
The fukcing bane of all IT support's existence.
Well have you tried anything newer than IE 7? It's like 10 years old you know?
Well Bob wrote some application in Microsoft access that will only authenticate if we use IE and it runs all of our accounting so we have to stay with it.
Well why don't you have Bob update it.
Hahaha, Bob left years ago, we just leave his pc running windows 95 on in the corner because it's what holds the database.
Do you back it up at all?
What's a backup?
Do you have a copy of the data, in case that machine fails?
No, why would we, it's been running for 15 years with no problems!
For clarity, we have to run IE at our company because some database stuff our intranet uses works only with IE.
sigh
Yep. I used to manage a government service that was used nationally. It was 15 years old and coded entirely in VBscript. I wish I was making that up. The number of calls from new users claiming it wouldn't load in Chrome or Firefox was stupid, cause it didn't. You'd think that would be included in every user's basic induction right? No, no sonny Jim, it was not.
Well, to be fail internet explorer is really slow.
[deleted] ยท 343 points ยท Posted at 00:21:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Lady called tech support when I worked for Toshiba in 1998 to ask that we "remove all the bad parts of the Internet" from her "hard disk" and insisted "you know what I'm talking about"
0_o
Edit: when I tried to explain that the entirety of the Internet does not reside local on her machine she replied "I know what you're trying to do" and hung up.
Wat.
Edit: I think in her own way she was probably asking for us to block "porn channels" or some such in the way you'd call a cable company to maybe block Cinemax or Showtime because little Johnny got caught fappin idk.
I felt sorry for her and explained we had no control over it, that content viewed is decided by the viewer. Her response is listed above.
Bleh. Those days
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 08:51:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
In the 90s--My husband's grandma thought you were supposed to use the mouse like a stylus to tap the screen. Can't decide if she was way ahead of her time or way behind...
BodgeJob ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 09:12:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One better: i've seen old people move the mouse down the side of the desk because they ran out of room on the mousepad. Fucking. Hilarious.
jpt212 ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 12:08:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really great memory of my grandad (RIP) trying to use a computer when we visited the Museum of TV and Radio (now the Paley Center). You could look up old shows in their computerized catalog. These were early Macs with single button mouses.
He had a terminal on his desk before he retired - so he wasn't computer illiterate - was used to the pre GUI Days. Never used a mouse.
Seeing him perplexed I said "Pop-pop, you have to use the mouse to point to what you want"
He looks at it for a sec. Picks it up, sees the mouse pointer move... (Cause and Effect, right)
"Oh, JPT212, I got it! Pretty 'cool'" So pleased with himself.
I look over and he's holding the mouse upside down and moving the little ball with his finger. It works kind of... He makes his selection by clicking the button on his under hand.
He held it with such care - as a person who understood how expensive computers were- like tickling a little baby mouse creature.
He was such a good sport about it when I showed him the "right" way. Years later I think about him whenever I see a trackball.
He became really great at computers later in life, volunteered - such a decent human bean.
TLDR: My Grandpa inadvertently invented the trackball.
Stylus-like devices were some of the first real time input devices for computers, so maybe she got it from her past?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Light_pen
My mom didn't know what Google was until maybe 2 years ago. She'd been typing in specific .com addresses and only visiting those pages for years and we never realized. She didn't know about the concept of search engines
Back in the day, a lot of people thought AOL was the whole web. They thought they could only do stuff the AOL software would provide icons and links for. Someone once told me they couldn't use yahoo.com because it wasn't part of AOL and they hadn't paid for that. Wide swaths of the public only clicking on AOL stuff and thinking the rest of the entire web was not theirs to mess with. AOL used to market it this way, they knew what they were doing.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:21:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
troywww ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:01:53 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, throwback. I'm still young but that seems like a huge blast from the past. Kids growing up now probably don't even know what a keyword is.
Juus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:43:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Those domains are mostly used to rank for keywords in Google actually. Higher chance to rank on the search query "dinner plates" if your domain is dinnerplates.com
pjabrony ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:18:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You kids with your fancy googles and bingers or whatever. That's how we had to do it back in the day. We'd go to Yahoo and look through the directory, or else we'd go to Lycos and wade through forty pages of porn sites that had loaded themselves up with keywords.
Work with medical software. Once asked a doctor to move his mouse to a certain point on the screen and the guy literally moved the mouse to that part of the screen. The doctor didn't even have a cellphone until 2012 when the hospital bought one for him.
He retired a couple weeks later because the new electronic health records. He felt frazzled by the influx of technology. Felt for the guy.
I once supported a doctor who fundamentally didn't get computers, but rather than let that stop him, he would painstakingly write down every step of every process he needed to go through to get his work done. He impressed me with how much effort he was willing to go to.
macphile ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 05:05:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a coworker who normally used a PC in her job. She probably wasn't brilliant with it, but she did OK. For a brief period, though, she had to work on another project, and all the files were on a Mac. It was not pretty. What I liked, though, was she got super-explicit instructions from me on what to do (I think this was to print or something?). Like, click this thing, go to File menu, click on this other thing...and she used it every time. It didn't stick. Anyway, I really respected that she wanted to learn or at least not drag the process out with whining. I also tried to explain how the internet worked once (god help her).
She was a nice enough woman, but I sort of suspected she'd fried some brain cells back in the 1960s/1970s.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 07:03:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When the brain chips from Feed exist we're all going to order shitloads of fleshlights by accident.
Aniquin ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:05:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's someone to look at as an example of a hard worker. A lot of times I'll give a friend or a family member the exact steps to help them with their technology and they'll either, immediately give up because learning is too hard, or they'll decide that it's just broken/defective. It's nice to see someone not give up so easily.
I can't even begin to figure out how many times I have written down and told my mom how to do certain tasks on computers, tvs, and cell phones and she still ends up screwing it up. She just presses random buttons until something good or bad happens. She's only in her 50s too so not that old.
yaminub ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:01:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You don't usually end up a doctor if you're lazy
maully ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:29:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad used to read that as a bedtime story to my sister and me. I was really excited when the movie came out.
Funny thing is, the story of the movie has little to do with the original book, and yet it still holds up as a decently funny and enjoyable movie. All in all, 8/10.
AndyGHK ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:09:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work with an oncologist who is probably at least 75 and has been practicing medicine for years. a lot of the physicians have built out note templates and such. this guy refuses to do note templates, spends 20 more minutes per patient dictating versus using a template. the other younger physicians even demoed theirs for him and gave him free use of it if he wanted.
"I don't like templates. I need my notes to sound off beautifully when read back."
God bless his heart. I can't wait for the day everything's holo-medicine and us 20 somethings turn into 70 somethings and can't figure out which holochip we're supposed to plug in so we link up with the Canadian health systems versus the American ones. Our grandchildren are sniggering at our unorganized smarthome system from 2030 that's so antiquated that they complain about having to use Linux again, cause they only did a 3 week session in 3rd grade on Linux and moved on.
"pop pop, your cheat sheet of codes is outdated! your healthcare folder doesn't have anything in it any more! did you build a new one??"
"WHAT?? I can't hear you! don't make me walk all the way back to the kitchen!"
God, I hate old people but I'm incredibly excited for how earth will look in 2060.
I don't get this. These people have had at least twenty years of every technological advancement shouting, "computers are the future!" and yet they still never put in the couple of days of effort to figure it all out.
Plenty of people put in a few days of effort and just didn't understand it. How many times should they try, especially if they have a job they thought wouldn't ever require it?
well considering that most things have become tied to computers over the years, I'd assume "as long as it takes" would be the right answer. especially if it's for a job. it's probably just the field that I work in, but getting a job and then not being expected to continually expand and strengthen your skill set seems blasphemous. Do lawyers ever get pissed off that laws change?
but the issue for a lot of these people isn't that they don't understand it. it's that they're gripped by technophobia and are too scared of unknown consequences to go about learning it. but it's also been decades since anyone in the right mind could justify not learning base level tech because "their job won't need it." sometimes you need to suffer and grumble to better yourself, especially if that "suffering" is only mental gymnastics.
agreed. One of the key characteristics of humans that have gotten to us where we are today, is the ability to adapt and learn. if you don't adapt and learn then you're not doing it right lol
You and I grew up with computers and every changing and evolving technology. These people, like my dad, were in their 40s before computers were really widespread.
dawgsjw ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:10:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in my day as a kid, we used to walk 2 blocks outside in the snow, all up hill just to get to good wi-fi.
"I don't like templates. I need my notes to sound off beautifully when read back."
You know, I can... almost admire that. Rendering personal, individual care. Pride of craftsmanship. Sure, it's not efficient, but his heart is in the right place - unless his thoracic surgeon buddy was having a giggle :)
I'd like to think as the generation who grew up when technology was so dominant and we faced so much regular change, we'll largely avoid the "set in our ways" problems like that. We'll have learned the skill of adapting better than previous generations.
Then again there are lots of 70 year olds who are technologically illiterate, so I think it may just be an individual choice to stop learning and we'll always have that.
Tridian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:55 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Older people are perfectly capable of using computers. We don't hear about them because they don't ask retarded questions. I expect that in 2060 most of us will be using things just fine, but the same 20 year olds today who can't use a computer will be the 60 year olds who still can't use a computer in the future.
[deleted] ยท 260 points ยท Posted at 21:11:32 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He retired a couple weeks later because the new electronic health records
I've seen this happen quite a bit with older doctors. (most older nurses can't afford to retire or they would, too). I'm a nurse practitioner in my 30s and am fine with computers. I can whiz through a new EHS pretty quickly. However, I've worked with doctors who have to take 2 hours for one patient because they have never used a computer before, and they spend almost all that time trying to document the visit.
It's ridiculous, really. Or I'm just bitter because I worked in urgent care and saw like 6 patients to their 1 and they got paid triple what I did for basically poking around at a keyboard for 12 hour shifts.
Take that technical ineptitude and apply to older men (usually, occasionally some women) appointed as magistrates.
Every sentence they pass in court has to be entered into Courtlink which is a terrible, awful, horrible DOS (?) system.
They sit there typing one finger at a time, asking their clerk how to do the thing to make it show whatever...
So painful.
Meanwhile my client is hanging out for their methadone dose and is impatient, and starts to freak out thinking that if the magistrate is taking forever to type up the sentence then they must be going to jail....
Court link is a complete POS and I have no idea why the Department of Justice (previously, or Court Services Victoria now) haven't got around to updating it. A mate of mine works at DOJ IT department and it was on their list of shit to do - but below some other, more urgent shit. Who knows what happened when CSV was created and all the administration of courts was removed from DOJ.
My boyfriend's dad is a doctor in his 60's. When the hospital group he works for started switching over to electronic records, he was definitely frazzled and confused. Luckily, though, he sees no shame in having his younger colleagues teach him how to use the software, and he's actually adapted very well.
Sweet merciful jesus you just described a pharmacist I work with. He's super nice. He can't type. He can understand short hand for prescriptions, but will still type it out in full. He barely understands our phone system
I want to pull my hair out every single day. I've begged him to take a typing class. He's in his late 60s, so I get it, but fuuuuuck.
You guys should try working with hospital lab equipment, they're so temperamental we have one analyser which I swear you just look at it wrong and it goes NOPE and crashes, takes like 30min to reboot lol
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yuck, I can't imagine. I hated even doing QC checks on simple point of care tests that we used in urgent care.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:34:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nurses like complaining about pay, but it's a different job!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:58:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a nurse practitioner, not a registered nurse. I examine, diagnose, and treat patients as an actual provider. I actually DID do the same exact job as the docs I worked with in urgent care, when the main doc I was supposed to work with actually showed up to work. I don't "like" complaining about pay...But I should be making more than a tiny fraction of what I was earning for the hospital system that I worked for. This isn't doctors vs. nurses to me... I was just illustrating one tiny, specific example of inequity in a broken system. One that has lost that specific system dozens of providers (NPs and doctors actually) in favor of one or two doctors who call in all the time, pawn off all the difficult patients to the NPs, but refuse to leave in an area where there is a doctor shortage (and nurse shortage too).
Thankfully I love my new job, and the doctors I work with are great...as has mostly been my experience as an NP.
My plans were to go to medical school actually.... I had the grades for it. But unfortunate life events happened in my early 20s, so I went back to school later and became an NP because it was a shorter route for me.
dawgsjw ยท -32 points ยท Posted at 00:08:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nice brag!
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:18:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would call it more of a bitch session myself
dawgsjw ยท -28 points ยท Posted at 00:36:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He was a solid, small-town doctor that had moved into a more senior/advisory position. He was a jack of trades and a "master" of a few.
This was back in 2013 and a hospital meeting ARRA/Meaningful Use regulations made a good sum of money but it required a lot of commitment. There were no hurt feelings and a passing of the torch feeling with the doctors.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:38:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was a scribe.
The entire reason I had a job was computer illiterate medical professionals. I witnessed so much two finger, T Rex typing.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me once how she was angry when the office she worked at switched from typewriters, (yes, fucking typewriters in the 90s) to word processing.
This is unfortunate. I feel for people like this too. A law firm in the building next to ours just let 200+ people go a few months ago because they couldn't keep up with the changing technology and actually resisted learning any of it. I mean couldn't use anything past a calculator. All that's left in each dept are young 20-30 something paralegals. It kind of sucks actually, because most of them seemed very smart and very good at what they did.
pizy1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god. I was positive you were talking about my dad up until the 'retired.' He constnatly bitches about the electronic medical records system at his hospital. He had only a pager up until 5 or 6 years ago and only got his own personal use cell phone 2-3 years ago, at which point I had to make him his first-ever email address. (For the few years prior, if he absolutely had to give someone an email address, he'd give them my mom's.). He's finally catching on a bit with technology, texts me when he needs to, et cetera... but now he's probably only got a few more years before retirement. So I guess I can see why docs in his age range would rather bow out than feebly try to keep up.
Medical staff in general seem to be totally oblivious when it comes to computers. The amount of times I've had to show very highly paid, highly educated specialists how to send an email or print something is ridiculous.
I don't even work in IT, I'm just seen as "the computer person" on the ward because I type with both hands and therefore must be a wizard.
He could have hired a scribe. Scribes follow doctors around and enter the data into the EHR. Its not cheap, but at the end of the day when the doctor is done, he/she is done and can just leave. Thats not true for most doctors still writing out records by hand.
Alot of people retired earlier than usual when the new computerized systems came out, it was just too much to learn for just another few years on the work force. That age group is my target demographic. Source:IamA IT Guy
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:39:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:39:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should seriously sit down and learn Excel. If you learn to use it properly, you'll be 2-3x more productive than your coworkers with less tedious effort.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:22:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are plenty of free online classes covering Microsoft Office. If you're looking for something in-person and affordable, check local community colleges. They often run computer skills classes for working professionals who need to learn this kind of software in order to keep or find a job.
I was a geek growing up and had a rudimentary knowledge of Excel in high school but wasn't all that familiar with it. Took a general office course and couldn't believe how much I learned in such a short time. There are many inexpensive ways to learn Excel in a short time. I would encourage you to take the time and learn it, the knowledge will make your work flow much faster.
*Edit, can't spell Excel apparently
Grobur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like you didn't learn too much, seeing how you didn't even manage to spell the name of the program correctly.
Lol, was on mobile when I replied. My point still stands, a basic understating of excel doesn't take very long and it's a skill that comes in very handy.
dhgdsgh ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:36:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You meant for him to move the CURSOR, not move the mouse. He did EXACTLY what you told him to do. Sounds like computerthink to me.
if you refuse to learn any new technology since the day you graduate medical school, you are just technologically illiterate and you shouldn't be working
Took a communications course and one of the classes was journalism.
We spend a solid 10 minutes showing her how to start a new project on the software she was supposed to be teaching us.
"Click there where it says new project"
Tutor proceeds to quit the program and restart the computer.
Tutor: "Oh wait thats not supposed to happen I think something is wrong with the computer"
I guess the best way to describe it is you know when you're watching your friend play a video game and you tell them 'go there!' 'where?' 'right there!! THATS WHERE THE THING IS!! TO YOUR RIGHT!!' player proceeds to turn left.
Yeah it's like that except you're paying money to be there and not having fun.
Delanium ยท 233 points ยท Posted at 06:06:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. My family got launched into a huge legal battle when my grandfather died, and 14-year-old me got called into the living room every single night to help my dad forward emails between lawyers, and show him how to save the documents.
Oh god, my mom does this shit every single time.
"How do I do X on my phone?" hands me the phone "Well, you tap here, then you..." takes the phone from my hands
Why the fuck do you even ask me for help?
[deleted] ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 10:47:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is the approach I took with my father for years. I tried and tried and tried to teach him how to do simple things like copy pictures off his phone or copy and paste files (something he insists he knows how to do, but refuses to show me he can do it and instead makes me do it for him) and he just cannot learn it and I don't have 30 minutes to spend showing him how to do it every time. Sometimes people just can't do it for whatever reason.
hgfdsgvh ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:50:06 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For a second I actually thought your name was Delanium. And I don't know why, but I thought it was badass af.
Delanium ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:24:32 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because being named Delanium would be badass af.
My actual name's Delany... so.... half win?
Also, what are you doing wandering around 5 month old AskReddit threads?
hgfdsgvh ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:36:26 on January 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm new here. I started off on the askreddit sub and then somehow slowly wandered around interesting subs after people linked to them. Delany is still a sweet name :)
Delanium ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:48 on January 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit! I want badass, not sweet!
AskReddit's a good place to start. And remember there's pretty much a subreddit for anything. If you have an interest, just type it in the search bar and there's a 98% chance there'll be a subreddit for it.
hgfdsgvh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:04:07 on January 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, if it helps that "sweet" was like a 90's sweeeet, not an; awww, look at how sweet those puppies are! Thanks for the tip! I'm trying to find subs that are funny and nonfiction. However, I have enjoyed the Askreddit ones that involve "things you didn't know." That's how I got turned in this direction in the first place. The really popular "what did you learn surprisingly late in life?" thread that pops up.
My comp sci teacher was like this. Finally we found a solution; she logged into her computer and we emailed ourselves the entire course folder, as each lesson had a word document from another previous teacher. Then another student and I would teach the course.
She was replaced a couple of years later by a teacher who got arrested last month for sexting (and sexing) a student.
Once had a classmate explain to the programming lecturer that he could save his projects into a different directory than 'My Documents'. It blew this guys mind. But yeah top quality instruction on any computing subject was not this guys forte.
77remix ยท 565 points ยท Posted at 22:21:29 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom thinks you can only access the sites she uses a lot at school (google and email) on the Safari browser
She thinks Google Chrome, Firefox etc are rip offs and are going to give her a computer virus when I help her at home.
I actually had this issue with a former boss at an AV company. We installed Chrome on all the office computers so we could avoid the horrors of IE, and he got pissed and uninstalled them because it was "getting viruses on the computers."
The man was in charge of all the computer related orders that we received... it was awful.
I had something similar at work. A coworker thought she could only access her email account from her computer. If she came to my office, she wanted to use my google account so she could send an email.
My brother told my parents Firefox was bad shareware and giving their 10-year-old computer viruses, and THAT'S why it was slow.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:23:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let me guess, she thinks Internet Explorer is highly secure too?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:43:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad is not particularly computer illiterate. He's been using them since the 90s or 80s, had always been a relatively early adopter, but it took me years to convince him Firefox was not malware. He uses chrome now I think. So does my mom, finally.
My mother once accidentally opened the webcam on her computer. She then came running to me claiming that someone hacked her computer and was spying on her.
pjabrony ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 13:19:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On a related note. My 65 year old grandmother keeps a peice of tape over the Webcam on her computer. She's worried that someone will spy on her. A 65 year old housewife. Old people.
I say let them. I understand that it's an invasion of privacy but I'm not doing shit. They turn my mic on? Whatever. Just talking to myself about replaying Spyro 2 or something.
If a stranger gets off on watching me eat dinner or jerk off on my couch, and that doesn't hurt me in any way. Fuck it.
I don't use my laptop often enough for someone to catch anything juicy. But hey, if someone wants to watch me write or watch netflix in a dark room, let them.
There is actually an entire community of people who do exactly that for fun. Not to you specifically... generally, they try to get as many computers under their control as they can.
The level of access needed to control your webcam means they pretty much can do anything, including steal your personal info (credit cards, bank account, passwords, ect.), record keystrokes, and use your computer in a botnet.
My mom had GPS enabled on her phone and when it started to do the little pin that says "Location found" she was convinced my step dad had installed some app onto her phone so he could track her. My step dad is a super nice dude and my mom has some issues. But that's fixed now.
Oh God! She's one of those paranoid freaks that would come into my shop with a piece of electrical tape over her laptop's webcam, isn't she? I can assure you, this is WAY more common than you might think...
hgfdsgvh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:56 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This. I would describe this as amazeballs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And decided to show her the footage of the spying
howiela ยท 280 points ยท Posted at 21:48:33 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
A girl I went to high school with spilled some alcohol on her comouter, and in her half drunk mind she thought the best way to dry it was to put it in the oven. Well it might work, but it's not very good if the oven is 150+ Celsius.
Knew a guy one time who spilled water in his Macbook Pro and decided the best thing to do was use a hairdryer to dry it out....needless the say every key on his keyboard shriveled up and melted
wurm2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:55:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well you do sometimes need to bake individual chips to remove moisture that's been absorbed by the casing before soldering them but it's usually done at 125C and not at 150+ and not with a whole computer.
grievre ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 09:46:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
150C is not very hot (for electronics), I feel like most electronics will survive that while powered off. Maybe not the batteries though.
howiela ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:37:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I don't think the computer would have been ruined if she had cleaned it first, but it was full of the drink she spilled (juice + alcohol in computer isn't the best). I guess it shorted out the circuits, or killed the battery.
Edit: she also did nothing with the computer, except putting it in the oven (didn't disassemble it at all).
I worked at Walmart years ago when PC's still came with Windows XP. We had one on display with a black and white picture of a black lab as the background, which was one of the default windows backgrouds. A guy asked me how I got a picture of his dog on the computer.
I had to explain exactly this to my grandma yesterday. My aunt sent her plane tickets and said she could get the email on her computer or her phone but Grandma only uses her phone for email(never touches her laptop). She also often thinks texts and email are the same thing, or can't understand how to open or reply to an email even though I've shown her how and seen her do it about 100 times.. at least she's figured out how to text me, even though she doesn't know what the backspace button is.
Same. My mom is the worst with email and passwords for all websites. I asked her to pull up an email on her phone that had info I needed and she was like "I can't! That was on the desktop at home!"
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:22:55 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom forgot the master password to her machine (27" iMac) and needed it for something (forgot what), so I went and booted her machine into single-user mode to reset it. Then I re-enabled requiring a password to login to her user account so she'd have to use it enough to remember it.
She texted me not 30 minutes later to tell me she forgot her new one already.
Luckily, she texted me another 30 minutes later to tell me she remembered it. So that worked out better than expected.
That's been her only major screwup with her computer(s) in almost a decade, though. Proud of her.
Yea if she can remember her password for that long she's definitely doing better than a lot of people! It took 2 hours for us to get my moms new iPhone set up with Facebook and email because she couldn't remember her password so we'd send it to her email to change and then she couldn't remember her email either. And she has several dormant accounts!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:54:49 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually don't think she'd used her password more than a couple times since setting up her machine after it got replaced (her 24" bit it, Apple gave her the 27" as a replacement -- sweet deal, really).
Normally, I'd just do stuff from my own admin account on the machine, but I figured this was the right time to fix a potential problem rather than just the symptom.
I will say this: she picks legitimately secure passwords. Like, a step or two beyond that xkcd comic.
Well good on your mom! And I find that letting them do things in their own helps them remember better too. But sometimes you just have to take over lol.
kwierso ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:54:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Parents had this, but their desktop mail client at the time was set to download a copy of each message and then remove it from the server. That was a fun debugging session.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dealt with the lady and her husband for 2 weeks. The only things she had wrong with her were a short temper and an inexcusable rudeness towards anyone trying to help her.
Seriously though: she had neither developmental nor degenerative disorders. She simply had never learned to use a computer and flew off the handle at us when any action took more than 2 steps. She accused of of breaking her property and swindling her out of money (we hadn't charged her a dime to show her how to use the basic functions of her computer).
She ended up threatening to sue us for giving her computer viruses (no viruses). At that point I had to tell her that if she was going to pursue legal action against our company, then we could no longer render her service until the matter had been resolved.
EDIT: in hindsight, she may have had some form of paranoia. We were always very calm and very polite and we explained all of our actions as simply as possible. When that failed, we simply asked her what she would like us to do which usually made her dissolve into hysterical angry tears. Her reactions were too extreme to really be explained by GBS (General Bitch Syndrome).
hgfdsgvh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:13 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so glad you included 'general bitch syndrome' because I was confused af. I was seriously wondering what GuillainโBarrรฉ syndrome could possibly have to do with her ape like reaction to her confusion haha
StSpider ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 13:21:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, that's not even normal. Only someone with a serious mental deficit would think that dozens of buttons exist only to perform the same task.
xdeadzx ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:43:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My first experience with computers was windows 3.1? portable desktop, had a little mouse trackball on the right side of the keyboard below the arrow keys with a left/right click. I was confused the mouse wasn't on the keyboard when I had to use another computer. But I don't think I'd ever just mash the keyboard to find the mouse button...
Health teacher wanted to show us a video, clicked on 'Google' on the google homepage (even though the search bar was just below it), and then proceeded to type in, "u tub . com".
Jaereth ยท 561 points ยท Posted at 19:58:27 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Yeah, don't go to 5guys.com expecting to eat.. it's not hamburgers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure we were told to make sure we typed in whitehouse.gov not com in elementary school, because something similar happened when a girl was doing a project.
Birdyer ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:29:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They must have changed the algorithm since then, all my searches for cock and ball torture have resulted in nothing but psychology pages.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:25:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Google gives recommendations based on your search history... found that out the hard way
Jaereth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:06:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yikes... I guess that makes the story even worse...
Once, when I was a wee lad, I wanted to go to the "Manchester Evening News" website and just instinctively wrote "men.com". Never before had I seen so many dicks.
First time I ever used a search engine at school was middle school, late 90's. I was using dogpile. Doing a paper on World War Two/Hanford. Searched for "fat man and little boy." Got a stern talking to from the principal.
I did. The worst one was accidentally typing in "feeaecade.com" (instead of "freearcade.com). This was back when porn sites had a million pop-ups that you could never close.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:50:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used dogpile up until a couple of years ago. Insisted it was better than Google
Universal Tube & Rollform Equipment used to operate from the url "utube.com". For a while they dealt with the confusion by putting a link to youtube in the corner of their site. Then they gave up, turned their front page into a youtube clone for the ad revenue, and put a link to their real site in the corner of that.
My high school had set up a filter blocking YouTube on the campus Internet, so I decided to try to get past it by telling my math teacher about some great math-related video & then watching him type in the password for my own use. Unfortunately, he knew even less about the campus security system than I did, and it was at that point I realized the filter was put in place by the district & even the staff on campus lacked authorization to circumvent it. In retrospect, the fact the district office controlled the air conditioners should've been a red flag indicating they micromanage (although I'm not sure I knew about the AC until after the Youtube attempt).
I had a professor three months ago (I'm 18, she was around 60), who was telling me about a funny video she saw relating to the subject she taught. I asked how I could watch it, and she said "Have you heard of the Youtube?"
I thought she was joking. Turns out another student had showed her the video earlier in the day, and she'd never heard of Youtube before then. My 80-year-old grandfather knows what Youtube is and how to use it.
Fake. She obviously had the video ready beforehand or she wouldnt have shown you it. Maybe she typed that the first time she found the video, but she probably wouldnthave typed it like that when she showed you, having learnt from the mistake. Also, teachers use the internet quite a lot, so that also makes me doubt you.
arlsonfr ยท 729 points ยท Posted at 20:28:56 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Older woman using the address book on her computer...
Her: "how do I send an email?" Me: "click on Mail in the dock. " Her: (clicks on mail) Where did my address book go?! Me: "it's behind the Mail window." Her: looks behind the monitor
We had a customer once that, when told to "close all the windows", left the call and could be heard shutting all the windows in his house in the background.
Liger1 ยท 282 points ยท Posted at 04:48:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My family has a legend about one of my relatives who supposedly put masking tape over all the unused electrical outlets in their house so as to keep the electricity from leaking out.
Well to be fair if they are UK/Ireland 3 plugs, then if there is nothing inserted into the top slot, the electricity is sealed off. Stops electrocution!
This apparently used to be a thing in the highlands of Scotland (and probably elsewhere too). Electricity was a fairly new concept to them and so when a light bulb went out it was usually thought that the electricity would fall out while you were changing the bulb. At least that's what I think my dad was telling me about.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Another customer complained that her new wireless router wasn't working. After much investigation, it turns out she had wrapped it in towels and stuffed it down behind her sofa because she was afraid of the "dangers" of the wifi signal.
She wanted to be able to connect her laptop, wirelessly, in every room in the house, but thought wireless routers caused brain cancer, so she bought one then mummified it.
We had to explain to her that you can't have a wireless router and then block off all hope of the base doing its job at the same time.
Liger1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:13:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
as hilarious as that is, you have to admire her determination, i wouldn't even think that sofa and some towels actually could stop wifi signal to the point of not working
It did for the early "base station" models. I worked tech support for over 10 years and those early routers were prone to interference issues. A working coffee maker, a big 'fridge - anything with a good electromagnetic field - could mess them up, and certainly wrapping the thing in a bundle of towels then stuffing them behind an overstuffed couch would block the signal.
Modern routers are much better but those early ufo shaped things from a specific fruit-named company were terrible for interference.
This is actually a thing. Windows have a much lower rate of refraction than walls but a closed window functions slightly better at keeping electromagnetic radiation from leaving your house than an open one.
Most customers I dealt with on the phones were good folks. I didn't mind if a customer didn't know anything about computers-- that's okay, nobody is born knowing how to work them --- but I sometimes wondered how someone could be so blasted dumb yet pull in enough money to afford the fanciest systems out there.
My Grandma has also done this. My Uncle was trying to help her over the phone and told her to open windows. She put the phone down and opened all the windows in the house. She thought it would help keep the computer cool.
It took me a long time to understand that the boxes that popped up on your screen were what they were calling windows. They don't look like windows at all. If you're self-taught, that's not an intuitive leap.
The exact words given to the customer were, "Now close all the windows." followed by "Okay, just a sec." and the sounds of him banging a window closed and then walking away from the phone.
We also got a call once where the starting line from the customer was, "Yeah, so, my laptop caught on fire so I flipped it out the window. What should I do now?" I didn't find out the ending to that one as it was considered a "safety issue" and as escallated to another group pronto.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:37:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The laptop was on fire and he called tech support?? some people...
Of course we asked if he needed to call 911 right from the start, just in case his house was burning down. Luckily it didn't come to that.
People often call tech support because they're not sure what to do, panic, and dial the one number they have handy.
Another time I got a slightly tipsy guy on the phone. He said he'd done a dumb thing, laughed, then said he was looking for advice.
He'd put his laptop on top of his car while he was loading the trunk and forgot about it. As he pulled out of his driveway he saw his laptop fly forward off the roof, and in a moment of panic attempted to pull forward to "catch it". As a result he ran over the unit, which was now in a U shape (these things had metal cases so they could bend before they broke, at least on the outside).
He said he pressed the power button and it turned on, but the screen was all cracked. Was there any point in having it repaired?
It's astonishing how reluctant certain generations are to understand the concept of windows and menus, especially since they've been around for quite a while now.
"Where did it go???!"
"It's behind the browser/emailer/window"
"Huh??!"
"If you put a folder on your desk and throw a newspaper on it, where's the folder then?"
"Beneath it!"
"And why would it be any different here? The darn thing is even called a folder!"
God, I hate this blank stare you get then... it's about as aggravating as explaining a toddler the principle of the conservation of mass.
Liger1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:37:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is my grandma all the way. Also my mom on occasion.
My brother and I have BOTH told/showed her how to use email at least 3 times EACH, my brother even going so far as to screencap certain steps, print them out, and draw arrows on it pointing to what she needs to click on. She refuses to learn how to do it. It's incredibly frustrating!!
Mom refuses to use tabs, just opens a new window every time... has to ask me to connect her camera to the computer and I can't count the number of times I've had to tell/show her how to save a picture from her camera/facebook/online to her desktop.
My 1 year old son did something similar at the weekend. I opened a browser tab in front of Netflix and he tried to peer around it so he could keep watching Voltron. So cute.
An Officer in my military unit genuinely was curious if he could move his computer mouse from the right side of his keyboard to the left without it causing a problem.
He was left handed.
Another one: A girls laptop died and I said "It needs to be plugged in, the batteries are dead" and she gave me the most dumbfounded blank stare I have ever seen in my life and said "This has a battery?". It was her laptop. I don't even know how the fuck she thought it stayed on.
My grandad got a laptop when I was about 17. The first time the battery died, he was really confused by why it suddenly turned off. My gran asked if she should go pick up some AAs from Tesco...
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:43:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
AHippie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:31:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who uses the mouse with his left hand, just moved to the left side of the keyboard. No swapping control schemes or anything. I think it's weird and it makes him have to change the hotkeys for every game he plays, but it seems to work for him.
For a long time Macs didn't have those keys. I remember the first time somebody told me to hit F2 on a PC in the early '00. I wouldn't call myself especially computer literate at the time, but I knew my way around my computer.
"Control is the key immediately beneath the shift key. It acts like a shift key. It doesn't do anything by itself, but it modifies the actions of other keys."
They GET that. Since they're (usually) used to holding SHIFT down and another key, they get CTRL and ALT a lot easier.
True. I have had a few of those. But I can clock about a 96% success rate on this.
Then there's my brother-in-law. Listening to him try and describe the TeamViewer password for his PC is high-larious. He literally spent thirty seconds trying to "describe" a left open bracket to me.
I have had this happen to me... SO many goddamn times.
[deleted] ยท 428 points ยท Posted at 21:06:12 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in 2005, one of my friends, who had just become a medical doctor by the way, didn't really understand the internets and email. She asked for my email address and kept saying, "Okay so it's 'www. what?" I kept telling her to leave out the "www" and just give her my actual email address, but she never did get it. Just kept insisting it had to start with "www"
Hopefully she figured it out by now.
Flinkle ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 06:46:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, I can top that one. One of my best friends' dad was a bit drunk one night and wanted to fire off a nasty email to his former boss. Completely computer illiterate, of course. I asked him what the email address was, and he told me the street address. When I tried to explain to him repeatedly that email wasn't like regular mail, he wound up screaming the street address at me and told me I was a dumbass.
Absolutely! The internet is the network that connects all the computers on earth that are online. The World Wide Web is just one means of transferring information on that network. Email uses the internet, but not the world wide web, it uses a different protocol. Hence why email addresses don't start with 'www' (which is relevant to OP's comment).
I became aware of it from an article written by a guy who works in IT, who said that it's not just old people who are bad with technology - it's also young people who have just as many problems!
it's also young people who have just as many problems!
Can confirm. Am young person. Nearly nobody else knows how to do anything but check Facebook on their iPhones. I've heard people say nobody has a PC anymore, it's just mobile and tablets...
My friend shared her theory on this that there is an age related "sweet spot" with technology. Well, it's applicable to any new technology really, but in this case it's computers. People who were born in the sweet spot where computers were just becoming accessible to the masses but you still had to know how one worked to actually use it well are the ones who are most naturally computer literate. The people born before computers became common obviously won't be, but the people born AFTER computers became so easy to use you didn't need to know how they worked will/are also similarly illiterate.
Try it with cars. Most people today don't really know how a car works, but they can drive the thing. But it seems like "everyone" used to know how a car worked - mostly because they had to know to drive it. But what people forget is that there was an older generation before that who didn't grow up with cars, and they would have had trouble understanding how the damn things worked.
blammer ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:10:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting theory, so would this mean that the 80s and 90s kids are the true computer literate ones?
Yes, that's pretty much the sweet spot for computer literacy.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
blammer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Very cool, I'm an early 90s kid and from Southeast Asia. I think my peers and I have almost the same type of experiences
Rejusu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
From the sounds of it you are a millennial (generation Y). Millenials are those who reached young adulthood in the 2000's (ie born early eighties to early nineties) not someone born around then. Eighteen year olds now are Generation Z, or the iGeneration.
Rejusu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This really used to frustrate me when reading tech blogs that had drunka little too deeply of the Apple koolaid who were trying to convince people that the iPad would replace the PC. Six years later those people are still wrong.
miahelf ยท -36 points ยท Posted at 05:16:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm curious how many people here have even heard of the WWW. It's all just the internet nowadays. People even browse web content through dedicated apps on mobile devices, or read their email through web pages.
To be fair, you need an understanding of DNS and how things traditionally work before you can wrap your brain around why that is.
The domain is example.org. Anything "to the left" as a subdomain is effectively a server within that domain.
So www.example.org is the web server in the example.org domain. You might have mail.example.org - that's your mail server... or you can even call it "vladimirputinisatopdude.example.org", so long as the IP address for the vladimirputinisatopdude server was in the DNS zone's MX (Mail eXchanger) record. Your mail client will look up example.org and try to find the mail server by querying the MX record. It'll then be given the MX IP address, will connect directly to that server - probably on port 25 - and there'll be some dialogue going on to make sure your message is "sent"... what actually happens is it goes up to the mail server and gets stored in the database.
Thanks for that explanation! I understand it at least a little better now!
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:42:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most people found it too laborious to say w-w-w and would just say w-w. "What do i write after w-w?" they would ask, wanting the domain name. "One more w", I would reply.
I was this way until a few years ago. Pissed my friend off every time I started typing "www.___" and that's how I learned you don't have to do that. I'm 26. Aside from researching random things online and other basic stuff, I'm still pretty computer illiterate. My dad is terrible with technology and I wasn't allowed to use the computer growing up for anything beyond typing papers for school and practicing typing. I got to college (eventually) and realized how behind I am these days.
agoia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funny enough, the original idea of "internet" was indeed a specialized system just for Emails. Then the engineers thought, why do we make it so specialized? We want a general protocol used for everything. Hence today's internet
I've said this before on r/pcmasterrace, but I was in Graphic Design class, it's near the end of class, and I'm bored as fuck 'cause I'm done my work.
These computers never get wiped because a bunch of people share them with projects lasting weeks, meaning people could lose work. Anyways, on the desktop sat a jpeg of a hotdog, being as bored as I am, I said it as the background and paste it x200 on the desktop.
Next day I come in, and the teacher asks who did it, I come clean, cause I didn't want people having access revoked or anything, and he tells me what I did was apparently beyond the capabilities of anyone in "tech support," as in, they couldn't fix it. You'd delete the images and they wouldn't go away.
He told me to fix it, so I did. I pressed F5 and all but 5 were gone, then I looked up a windows background and set it as the desktop.
I still don't understand how those kind of people are tech support at our school.
a computer illiterate boss once got angrier than i had ever seen her when she came to the register and saw that there was a picture of a cat with nick cage's face as the wallpaper. she was so fucking pissed, honestly scary angry, and one of the things she was mad about was 'if you have enough time to do something like this' as if changing the wallpaper took more than a couple clicks.
Literally every problem my mother's computer had post-1996 was because I changed her wallpaper that one time, so don't underestimate the damage you might have wrought.
Is that the new promotional picture for Face/Off 2?
nmagod ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:21:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Face Off pissed me the fuck off
Voice, bone structure, blood type, and tissue rejection were all fucking ignored by that garbage movie, and that's before you realize that cage and travolta have like a foot height difference
Exactly. It's so silly. My favorite part is that you have the two most overacting actors in Hollywood trying to out-overact each other. It's goddamn hilarious.
When working back at a college bookstore, we had a computer upfront to check on online orders and well when bored browse the internet. It lead to me and my other coworkers in the store changing the background of it to the most profound things we could find -- while still being mildly appropriate.
Had an older lady working there (she was going back to get her AA and wanted a little extra cash for the holidays), she was livid with the picture of Nick Cage as Jesus Christ as the background image and stood there -- with a line out the door -- trying to change it to something more appropriate. I watched for a second as she hard rebooted the machine, and quit on the spot when it was still there.
Boss had a good laugh.
nmagod ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:19:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'M GONNA NEED THAT PICTURE
Grifachu ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 05:41:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once changed the background of our price checkers (which are Windows phones with the one price checking app installed...) at work to a funny face I made. Well, the district manager ended up coming in the next day and got so mad because she couldn't figure out how to change it back that she threatened to fire me if I ever did anything like that again.
no, i don't think that was it. i don't even think she knows how images like that are made. i wasn't even the one who changed it - i was burned out on nick cage cat images from long before, but since the coworkers who actually did it weren't there i was the one who got ripped a new one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:56 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe because a copyrighted image, even a parody, on a business machine and within public view can cause serious problems.
Hoax13 ยท 557 points ยท Posted at 22:15:28 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In junior high back in 1984, I took a computer class. Towards the end of the year we began working with the program Turtle. Teacher had us make squares, triangles and circles as a test. When I was done, I began making cubes, spheres and pyramids. Blew my teacher away. She couldn't do it and asked me how. For our final, she had us draw a picture. I made a 6 second cartoon of a tank being vaporized by a UFO. My mom still has the floppy disk.
[deleted] ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 01:37:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is sort of unrelated, but as far as teachers being amazed by computers, I remember in the 2nd grade we were all in the computer lab learning about the computer with our teachers and when the computer instructor had us type in something in the search bar and it "autofilled", the entire room gasped. I can't believe how far we've come.
Sefirot8 ยท 110 points ยท Posted at 02:59:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yeh now today we would gasp the things autofill suggests
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:29:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in elementary school, we got smartboards. The teacher would write something by hand, tap it with the pen, and it would turn into regular serif text. Shit blew my mind.
I graduated college in Comp Sci in May and one of the programming assignments we had when I took C was to create a turtle program that you could use to draw stuff. He wanted us to see what you could do with a relatively simple tool you can make yourself. Easily one of my favorite classes/professors. So turtles are certainly still a thing
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude. You made a Vine 30 years before Vine.
Daealis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:33:04 on December 20, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds similar to my first programming course. The teacher goes into a spiel about what we'll be learning this course (it was introductory to programming, done with Turbo Pascal). Then, as a closing argument/half-joke, tells us that "if we can do this today, you will get the highest points on this course", and opens a program that has a circle going up and down in a wavy line.
By that time I had already programmed C for a few years, dipped my toes to basic graphics, and Turbo Pascal had some really clear instructions and libraries. It took me less than 15 minutes to do that. Of course it wasn't quite the same, his circle went along a sine wave, whereas mine was a harmonic oscillator, swinging around an invisible center line.
Nevertheless he was impressed that I managed to imitate the program, as we never saw the code. Got top marks and probably pulled everyone else down for not trying hard enough.
I was dumbfounded when he told me his guys couldn't fix it. Gave me and my friends a chuckle.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:00:36 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is going to sound really stupid but why wouldn't the icons dissapear until you refreshed the desktop? Surely they should go as soon as you select them and hit delete?
Draygon ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:49:14 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They couldn't figure out he set it as the desktop background.
They do, you just need to refresh the screen. It tells you it can't delete files that aren't there. This means they've been deleted but the icons stood. So you just simply refresh with F5.
Was the teacher one of those precious individuals who calls tech support on a daily basis because he can't, he literally just can't, work unless his background is the right shade of blue and all his icons are in the right position?
I used to work in a University IT department. Because it was a State university, it was unionized and based on seniority, so there were people who were janitors for years who knew nothing about computers who got cushy IT jobs just because they were with the University for so long.
I call into IT depts at universities as I work for a major IT/Tech vendor. A few are knowledgeable. Others are downright retarded, forget being technically knowledgeable.
Why does unionization mean seniority? Are the labour laws weird in your country?
hicow ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:20:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unions, at least in the US, heavily favor seniority within the union, if not the specific employer/role with an employer. How this landed janitors jobs in the IT department is likely explained by OP's university being retarded.
With about a week left in my high school's 3rd year programming class, a kid found his computer was logged into someone else's account. Rather than just changing the background like a normal high schooler, he took the person's final project, dumped it into a folder, and named it something stupid. Then he copy and pasted a blank folder with the same name exponentially until there were something like 10,000, and layered them over each other. Now, my friend and I could have explained that navigating to the desktop in a file explorer and sorting the list by file size, or something like that could have worked. But it was funnier to watch the kid sort through them one by one for a week or so with the teacher standing over him
Years ago, when Windows NT 4.0 was king, I was being interviewed for a job as a data analyst and programmer. One of the people interviewing me had NT on his laptop. The default for the screensaver back then was those little zigzag lines and they would start every four minutes. During most of the interview, my interviewer would look on his laptop, and get angry that the screen saver activated, and he had to type in his password to get his desktop back.
At some point, he started complaining about it. The last laptop he was Windows 3.11 WFW, and his laptop apparently did not have a screen saver at all. I asked him why he didn't change the time the screen saver came on? He said that he didn't know how to do that. So I right clicked on the desktop, selected display, clicked on the screen saver tab, and changed it from the default four minutes to something like 25 minutes.
The interviewer was amazed. He asked me how I knew that. I told him it was the same in Windows 95. I ended up getting the job, and he ended up being my boss for a while. He told everybody how smart I was. So I guess that worked out.
I may be having a slow day but I'm struggling to see why that matters if the computers weren't wiped. The files should still have been there so a refresh wouldn't change anything.
I'm having trouble understanding this too. He copied the files 200x~ on the desktop and then hit refresh, that doesn't delete the files. I didn't know f5 was a refresh hotkey and I'm not tech illiterate but I think this is the basic problem with these "person doesn't know a basic concept of certain field" complaints. Op of this comment chain didn't give basic information about his anecdote that would clarify the situation. It's either laziness or ignorance; expecting people to understand what you're talking about, because of your understanding of a certain situation. And op of this comment chain also made several spelling and grammar mistakes, basic knawledge of writing English.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:25:31 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't remember the url but I once apparently mindfucked IT support from my university (I did freelancing support at the time too) by putting that site that fakes windows installs in full screen.
They went insane until someone pressed ESC. Then they had a mental meltdown.
In High School a friend and I would do this, but we would click the window icon (Start), go to programs and highlight a random one, then print screen, copy to paint and set that as the background. It would mess with people and make some mad, but apart from that it was harmless.
We used to do this in my game design class in high school, but instead of wallpaper changing, we would rotate the monitor's orientation with ctrl+alt+<>
I got kicked out of my school library 2 years ago for copying and pasting a chrome shortcut all over the desktop because it was "damaging the computer"
I did something similar at my school. I took a screenshot of the desktop, set it as background, hid icons and toolbar. Next day I had detention because IT guy couldn't figure it out. Said I broke it. I fixed it in like 5 seconds and he was pissed.
In Year 7, I reached over to my friends computer while he wasn't looking and click Ctrl+Alt+Down, when he looked back he was so confused, the teacher called over the IT guy, and he clicked around for a minute, changed the refresh rate(?) and left for a min
While he was gone I quickly changed it back, and when he came back he acted like he was a genius, and told the teacher some jargon and when on his way.
I was so tempted to turn it back to embarrass him, but everyone saw me fix it so I decided not to
DoxBox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would not have held back on that one, not one bit.
"You mean to tell me that you got a job doing tech support for the school and you don't know how to change a goddamn desktop background? What business did you think you had applying for that?"
ArosHD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about your school but in my high school the tech support people just do basic stuff like setting up accounts and that's actually all I think of. I don't think they do anything else. I know one person tried to fix a printer once but couldn't.
The school has a contract with an outside company which comes in to setup and do actual tech support like setting up the servers and fixing things and upgrading stuff.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still don't understand how those kind of people are tech support at our school.
If it's anything like my home town, it was a government job that hired someone's brother in law that had a cert from like ten years earlier.
Honestly, I don't think it is that uncommon to have people working tech support in s school that are not tech savvy. Last year, a teacher could not get her computer to work at the beginning of the school year. She called for our on campus technology teacher. The tech teacher could not help her either. They sent out for a district level tech support. Turns out, the computer was not plugged in. Shouldn't that have been the first thing checked? Smh
Story time! Back in highschool, I enrolled in the local vocational program, in a computer repair class, and then two years of a networking class. Finished with computer repair, and on to my first year of networking. Well, both years' classes of networking (juniors and seniors) were held in the same room, with the same teacher and everything.
So there I was, one Junior of a handful, among a handful of Seniors who had already completed more schooling than I. And one day, we come in, and one of the computers in the lab was acting up. The screen showed the desktop and all the icons, even the start menu, but clicking did absolutely nothing. I didn't pay much attention to this, I just started working on the lesson and figured the seniors could get it sorted out, if not the teacher.
Fast forward twenty or so minutes of back and forth among the teacher and seniors, and I tuned back in to the conversation. They still couldn't fix it, and they had tried "everything". The computer repair teacher had even taken a look at it. Our teacher was getting ready to call the district's tech guy. I had a lightbulb moment, walked over to the trouble PC, and fixed it in under a minute.
The problem? Someone(one of the seniors) had taken a screenshot of the desktop, icons and all, set that as the background, then unchecked "show desktop icons" on the desktop. So the icons were there, but since they were part of the background, they weren't really "there". So I just undid that.
My fellow juniors couldn't figure it out. The seniors couldn't figure it out. The teachers couldn't figure it out. But I did.
In secondary school one of the techs walked in as I was plugging in a "broken" monitor (Power cable was slightly loose) and started having a go at me about the fact that "It's broken", and "I shouldn't be touching it if I don't know what I'm doing". I switched it on and enjoyed the irony.
Rejusu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:05:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Windows used to have (may still have it, but this was back in XP days) a feature where you could embed web content on to the desktop. But you could also use it for images. And if you used an image the same size as the desktop it looked like you'd just changed the wallpaper. Only if you tried to change the wallpaper nothing would happen. It would catch people that generally knew their way around a computer off guard because it was a fairly obscure feature buried in some options somewhere. Made for a great prank.
I once had to help an IT guy at my high school. The mouse wasn't working on one of the computers and he spend like ten minutes trying to fix it before saying, "looks like we're gonna have to replace this computer." I asked to take a look and instantly notice the USB going to the mouse was unplugged.
Nulono ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:46 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still don't understand how those kind of people are tech support at our school.
At the college where I work we've got a problem with departments having some random person they hired to be like their technology equipment wrangler or something.
The professors all know this person since they're in the same department, so they call this person for their tech support instead of ever calling the actual IT support center.
This person is always borderline computer illiterate and just makes things worse.
(yet they're paid more than our actual techs and have their own office)
By the time actual IT technicians find out about this shit the problem is a week old at least, and further screwed up with whatever sort of jerry-rigged stop gap solution their in house dufus came up with.
schools dont pay bottom tech support a lot. I went to the biggest college in my state and they pay maybe $10/hr. But you make up for the shitty pay by getting experience and a FLEXIBLE schedule.
bss03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:53 on October 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I still don't understand how those kind of people are tech support at our school.
I'll bet the tech. support person could have fixed it, but thought it was "funny" to leave it in place.
You'd be surprised (...or maybe you wouldn't after this thread) what people will believe we can't fix.
Deadbath ยท 419 points ยท Posted at 22:04:21 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"My Google isn't working! Look, when I search for 'oak tree wallpapers', nothing appears!"
Last week my mum asked me to fix her Google because it was gone off her phone. Basically she somehow deleted tne Google shortcut off her safari app on her iPhone. I asked her if she knew that you could just search Google from the address bar. She said : "Yes, but I like to click on Google and then type it into Google directly. That's how I've always done it."
I told it was like seeing the door you want to go through is standing open, then walking up to it, closing the door, then opening it up again to walk through the door way.
Grandma, you're usually too cautious to to comment on family Facebook posts in fear that someone will get your bank account details... How on earth are you commenting on Reddit??
I would have said something witty about Google running the App Store, but I realized Google runs the Play Store, so only Apple and Microsoft run App Stores.
Carry on.
GoldXP ยท 487 points ยท Posted at 22:40:13 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I took a graphic design in high school. I was finishing my very, very shitty CSS in Dreamweaver. I don't know if it still has it, but Dreamweaver had a tab where you can switch between how the website looks in code-like format and how it would look to people who visit your site. So finished my work and I guess I forgot to close Dreamweaver and I left it on the code-format tab.
The next day, I had to explain to the principal what that was. Apparently the "tech" (who was a guy in his 70s) found my "hacking script". She let me go when I explained to her what Dreamweaver and CSS are. I don't know where the guy got the term "hacking script" from.
[deleted] ยท 291 points ยท Posted at 01:52:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got accused of "breaking" or "hijacking" a customer's Mac when I opened a terminal window to run ifconfig just because I find it faster than navigating through OSX's Network applet.
Granted, when I use Terminal to restart the dock on my Macbook, I absolutely feel like a TV hacker.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:09:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Change the Terminal color scheme to Homebrew and even changing directories makes you look like someone not to be messed with. Even my other comp sci friends who are way ahead of me are impressed by this. I feel like Riley Poole on National Treasure.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:25 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One day a new coworker was complaining how her computer was SO slow so I took a look. She had the Outlook program running about 70 times! Apparently every time she received an email notification she would go to her desktop and double click the Outlook icon to relaunch the program. She also didn't understand that minimizing a window or program didn't actually quit the program. So she had hundreds of explorer windows along with multiple instances of software minimized to her Toolbar.
Well, she was way ahead of her time. Today a lot of programs allow only one instance to run and bring the old one to the front if you double click the icon. Others ignore you or tell you that you can't open it twice.
Also it's confusing that the desktop and quickbar icons do different things.
Lesp00n ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:24:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Except I'm pretty sure I can still open dozens of seperate Safari or Outlook windows on a Mac. This is a matter of PEBKAC, don't try to make it a Mac vs PC issue. Even this Apple user isn't on your side.
A girl holding a mouse in the air and vaguely wiggling it from side to side, being encouraged when the cursor twitched a little bit on screen then shaking it furiously to try make it go where she wanted it.
๐๏ธ MrJoeSchmo ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:40:44 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I really really want this not to be true. But based on stuff I've seen it probably is.
Mabye it wasn't behaving like she wanted and tryed to shake away the dirt ? Like litterally if you have no mouse pad this is quite common or in the days of those ball mouses.
This. Definitely this. It's incredible how some people don't grasp the concept of "waiting for it to load", considering this is something that happens almost ALL THE TIME.
This guy I knew built his computer from scratch, triple monitors, top of the line graphics card, liquid cooled CPU. He does this, and when I asked, he said something like "this is how I've always done it." Is it really so hard to skip that step?
It's hard to form a new habit for something you've done for a long time, even if it's inefficient (especially if the inefficiency has no negative impact on your life).
I know I'm guilty of still going to google to search for things, even though i can search google directly from the address bar.
I have the habbit aswell, but when you use chrome it takes up no time at all since you literally just type "g" and then press enter. I do it before I can even think of what im doing
It's worse with Hotmail lol. I'll sometimes type the first two letters and press enter, only to realise the autofill didn't quite happen yet and I've now just Google searched "ho"
I agree with you. But it did drive me crazy when my ex would open up a new tab and type double you double you double you dot google dot com. Like dude, just press g and hit enter. You're not seventy years old.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:33:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like dude, just press g and hit enter.
That depends entirely on how often you actually use Google. It takes me to GoodReads. Continuing to type won't help until you're halfway there already. If you don't do web searches very often (and if you already know which website has what you're looking for, there's no reason to), it might take more time to look for google among the suggestions than to just type out the whole thing. Especially since muscle memory can let you type certain things very quickly.
I've gotten so lazy with my typing as auto correct and auto fill has evolved. I'm very good with my spelling apart from the few hiccups but when it comes time to type something in word now I have to take a second to realign my fingers to proper typing posture otherwise my hands will do what they want.
Odin_69 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:22:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have google set to my homepage, with a google search bar next to my address bar. I like to think I'm just trying to make sure I always have an efficient way to knowledge.
I do it if I'm looking for something, but I'm not sure exactly what to search. Autofill heavily favors websites you've visited and previous searches, so if I actually want to use autofill to help find something I go to the google search page.
Auto fill can eat a dick. I write one word, it suggests five others, because I only needed that one word I hit enter and search "how to guide ships into port during a storm" rather than "how to guide"
If you spell the word incorrectly (at least on chrome) highlight the word and right click. It usually brings up the right spelling along with words that are similarly spelled.
tjeco ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:42:06 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know I'm guilty of still going to google to search for things, even though i can search google directly from the address bar.
lol I though I was the only one!
SazzeTF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:28:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We were given MacBooks at the start of high school for our studies and my friend, who I had every single class with and we always sat with eachother, did this every single time. I tried to explain to him for 3 years that the adress bar doubles as Google Search. He still does it.
For some reason I learned that it's fast if you type a slash after a web address, so I've always done that, even though now I know it may not be true or it doesn't really matter with fast internet
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Hell, I use Google as my homepage. Partly because of old habits (it's been a gateway of sorts to the Internet for ages), but also because it's a neutral site that would cause no issue if someone walked by and saw it appear.
My email inbox, Facebook page, conspiracy forum I post on sometimes - none of those are ideal. I guess I could use Reddit, but I always access Reddit directly by typing in the sub rather than via home page. In fact, I never see my home page.
SazzeTF ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:30:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like to live dangerously and have the option "start where I left" on.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just use a blank page. I can start searching for something from the serachbar if I want to, or open one of the bookmarks on my bookmarks bar (reddit, facebook, tumblr, outlook, etc).
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:32:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When someone pointed out to me that middle-clicking a link opens it in a new tab it took a while for me to remember it. I was so used to right-clicking and selecting "open in new tab."
Yeah, my girlfriend always clicks on the camera app on her iPhone to get to her photos, instead of just clicking on photos directly. She understands she's doing it wrong and always tells me to "shut up" as she does it in front of me, even if I haven't said a word about it.
That's why it was so hard for me to break the habit of doing the whole caps lock for one letter thing instead of using shift. I still catch myself doing it on rare occasion.
Only if certain conditions are met, such as you are using chrome. My friend tried this on my computer and it didn't work. It was firefox and my default search is wiki.
THAT'S why I don't bother changing my habit. That and my paranoia about going to phishing site. I try typing as little as possible in my address bar.
This is me atm. I did it on firefox because for some reason it defaulted my searches to yahoo and i didnt feel like changing it, and now that I'm chrome the habit has stuck. I do it correctly on my phone tho
Computer nerd here. There are times (read: edge cases) when you want to use the actual Google page so it becomes habit to always do it that way. For example if you want to search a URL you have to go to the page, otherwise it just goes to the site
joewith ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:12:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ctrl-k
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:02:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always hate when people type www. And or https://
At least they know it
h0rnman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:22:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, some Google use cases don't work so well from the address bar (calculator functions, intitle: searches, etc). I use those often enough that I'm conditioned to go to Google.com instead of using the address bar.
I do this and while I'm not IT I'm in graphic design so I know my way around my Mac really well but I prefer to be on googles homepage when I start a search. It makes no sense really to not skip that step but call me crazy, it just feels like a better space to search from.
gnorty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that was me until fairly recently. I had no idea you could do that until I saw somebody mention it on reddit.
The fact that google.com even has a window you can type into suggests that myself and your guy are by no means the only people who do/did this.
I grew up in a house where my parents only used Yahoo. Because I didn't have a computer of my own, that was how I had to get to Google. When I finally got my own rig, it took a while to break that habit, even with Chrome installed.
Hardware and software are different fields. He isn't up to date with how browsers have evolved. It makes sense to. And you sound illiterate for making that comparison.
Once it's been typed in the address bar a couple times, it's stored - it is such a short step that he isn't really wasting time doing it, so no harm done in it. Hell, I do it because while I use Chrome at home, my work has us locked on IE and typing in the address bar on IE goes to Bing, not Google. It's habit, not ignorance, for many people.
Um, that description fit me to a T. Built compute from scratch with top of the line (at the time, gtx 770*2) graphics card and cooled it with a custom built loop. Also bought three new monitors for my set-up and my excuse for searching that way is that's how I've always done it.
If it weren't for you being American I would've sworn you were a friend of mine.
I type Google.com into the chrome address bar. People ask me why don't I just search. Two reasons, I'm still getting used to chrome, and I like the doodles.
By scratch, do you mean, he built the gpu from scratch, or did he just get the parts and built it with all parts completely made?
_Keldt_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend built a PC, has a 980ti, a TV hooked up to his computer instead of a monitor, got a Vive and uses it. Set everything up himself, etc.
I go over to his house to try his Vive, because I don't have one. He types "google.com" into Chrome's URL/search bar to get to Google, min order to search something. I'm about to say something, when he says "I know, you can just type your search into the URL bar. I don't know why I do this every time."
I do this all the time. I use Bing Rewards, so I search there to try to earn credits. But if I can't find an answer on Bing, I search "google" to let them know they failed.
My boss at least once binged Google, and then googled the website address she was going to visit.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:23:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Searching with Bing gets you points that eventually get you gift cards. I do that too because I get points and then get better search results on Google.
I do that because my work computer always defaults to Bing as the homepage or suggestions if I miss a letter in a URL, and won't let me set up Google for anything. So I always search for Google, which makes Bing bring up a hurt little message about how it can search for stuff too.
Gonna copy something I posted somewhere else in here:
Teacher using bing (a student chose it as the standard), he searched for google, had the results but did not click on google.com and then searches something while still using bing. He was my IT teacher
My girlfriend does this because she doesn't like having search history suggestions pop up under the bar in Safari.
Obviously she's pretty amazing in every other way that I put up with this blasphemy.
I always avoid google for testing the connexion. On the one hand it's probably the most reliable site, but if you're using Chrome it can cause issues. For example if your connexion isn't working because you need to sign in to a public network, the type that redirects you from whatever page you try to reach, then Chrome will refuse to load the page because it thinks it's a malicious site impersonating Google.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Huh. I remember my phone autocorrecting that but I didn't check what it autocorrected it to. Not sure where it got connexion from...
Ryudius ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:15:23 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually just do this because of the auto fill thing being really annoying
Duke726 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:00:49 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm almost that guy. 2 monitors and no liquid cooling.
Anyways I only type websites into the address bar that way when I just want to go to a website I can type G for google or F for facebook, things like that. When I search things, I go to google.ca and search them there, that way if I ever need to find it again after a couple days, the autofill has it.
Tl;dr: web addresses in address bar and google searches on google.ca to keep everything organized and efficient.
I actually did this for a long time on Chrome. I did not realize that you could google directly from it until you saw someone else do it. And I'm usually not illiterate with tech.
I also will open a new tab and type google.com into the address bar, even though I know 100% for a fact that anything I type into the address bar that isn't a website will be googled. But that's less my own stupidity, and more of 13 years of muscle habit, I guess.
My dad and 18 year old brother both do this. I was standing over my brother helping him with something online yesterday and he went up to the search bar and typed "Google.com". My response was essentially "what the fuck are you doing?"
guys, this usually happens due to there being an address bar AND a search bar that defaults to whatever engine you tell it to or that it came set as.
the address bar can also act as a search engine.
people are trying to search google.com, they are trying to go to google.com by unknowingly typing it into the search box.
its really not that dumb if youre just not paying attention or unaware that there are 2 boxes that are technically different.
now if you pull up google then search google.com that is different and you are an idiot. most are just using search bar. i work in paid search and this is far from the dumbest shit i see.
My boyfriend's sister will try to long into Castle Learning to do her homework sometimes. She usually goes to the search bar, searches "google", gets to google, and then searches "castle learning".
I keep telling her that she can just type in "castlelearning.com" to save herself a bunch of steps, but every single time she does it this way. Drives me insane.
And she's a teenager. She's supposed to be good at technology.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My IT guy did this while he was remoted in to my computer, then chastised me for not having a search engine bookmarked.
Type Google.com into the Google search bar, then search for yahoo. Copy and paste into the browser bar, search for YouTube. Then search YouTube for the video. Find video. Click on it but leave the mouse in an awkward spot and the volume at a weird level. Once it is over hit the X button but then "cancel" because every time you hit a link you opened a new tab and you're confused as to what closing all of them would mean... Eventually figure out that yes, hitting the X button will close out of everything and that is what you want. Then spend about 5min figuring out how to resume the PowerPoint from the current slide. This happens in every class and I silently suffer every time.
braisin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my God, Jerry! When you check your email, you go to AltaVista and type 'please go to yahoo.com'?!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A teacher I once had went and searched for Google, clicked on it and then went to google.com because they did not recognize the Google doodle and then they typed "you tube" clicked it and searched for a video.
A customer did that at my store yesterday. We have an online survey that gives you a 15% off coupon every month and he literally got on his phone, opened up google and typed in google.com, then gave me the phone so I could spell the word planet. His last 3 searches were all porn sites and he didnt know how to fill out the info asking about himself (name, dob, email). That was a long morning
I'm getting fairly annoyed that Chrome is getting pesky when I go to google.com, as I do that to check internet connection and it's trying to dissuade me from that
One time the guy that sat next to me in one of my classes typed Google into the search bar on Google.com, opened Google, googled Google Classroom, and clicked that. I was stunned
This reminds of a post a while ago from some guy who let his dad use his laptop one night...
He checked his history the next day and found his dad had typed www.Google.com into Google. Then typed Porn into Google. Clicked on the first page that came up (think it was pornhub), then typed 'porn'... Into pornhub...
I always type google.com into my chrome omnibox. Am I stupid? :(
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:59:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TBF I do this sometimes, but that's because the address bar searches I'm feeling lucky so I just go straight to most things. If I wanna scroll through search results I have to go to google's page, proper. So I google google, it takes me to the proper search thingy that doesn't just bang to the first hit, then I search for whatever. If I'm looking for pics I'll search ''google images'', then search my thing in google images so I get a list. If I just put the search terms for the image in it'll take me to whatever's first and that's usually wrong.
To be fair, my company uses windows explorer by default. Bing is the search engine on there, and we all know how far I'd get using that. So I search google since typing google.com is too long :P
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:38:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bet those google in to google searches went up 600 fold when chrome was put on cell phones.
My grandma Yahoo! searches for Google then Google searches for Facebook.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:09:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You need the "https://www." before google.com for it to work.
[deleted] ยท 102 points ยท Posted at 21:02:54 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Co-worker freaked out and immediately grabbed the phone to call IT just because IE threw a "IE is not your default browser" dialog box.
EDIT: Also the co-worker who'd manually look through a table with about 2000 randomly-ordered entries to match up an asset number with a location. She did this every time. Thank goodness this kind of task only came up once every few days.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:54 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd imagine teaching her to use SQL JOINs is probably waaay out of the question.
Or whatever Excel's version would be. VLOOKUP and MATCH?
Maybe she anticipated getting mail that, ahem, shouldn't be opened at work? Or she remembers when Gmail was invite only and wanted to grab as many addresses as she could.
FrankNgo ยท 265 points ยท Posted at 23:06:32 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a job where I grab expensive tech from a stock room to hand to people. The stuff in here is like RAM memory tablets processors that kind stuff. I was watching a co-worker do an order before I start my shift. An order comes in for an i7 processor and they immediately go look in the apple section because they saw the "i". They spend the next ten minutes looking through every apple product for an i7 chip.
Sorry, but this thread is specifically about computer-illiteracy. Not Illiteracy. you are banned from /r/micromanagement
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:25:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I swear you computer illiterates seem not to have an ounce of logic or deduction.
dexikiix ยท 1116 points ยท Posted at 20:13:52 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In high school we had a power outage and the crt monitors in the library lost their display settings. As I was about to use one, I was fixing the screen with the buttons on the front of the monitor and the librarian walks up behind me "What are you doing?!?"
I'm hacking your hotmail lady what's it look like?
[deleted] ยท 404 points ยท Posted at 01:20:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In our high school library (1979), we got new Apple II computers. Our librarian was terrified of hackers. Mind you, these had no network or storage, only floppies. Anyway, we were only allowed to use the built in BASIC language even though the school had bought a Pascal compiler.
I found out about this because I volunteered in the library. Behind the counter I found the Pascal disks and manuals right next to the manuals that came with the computers. All the manuals were marked FACULTY ONLY, because "students might use them to hack."
She never tumbled to the fact that I was the alpha hacker there for the next three years, with free access due to working behind the counter.
Hacking was a concern in 1979? I thought the main thing back then was phreaking the long-distance networks to make free calls. I did some of that but didn't really have anybody to talk to via long distance, rendering the point kind of moot.
Didn't Mitnick get locked in solitary or something because they were worried he could hack anything, including NORAD, by whistling into a phone? Fear of hackers had next to zero to do what hackers were actually doing.
Fear of hackers had next to zero to do what hackers were actually doing.
That applies to pretty much everything.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 12:07:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, hacking was a thing. While personal computers were new, "big iron" mainframes were common in banks, universities, etc., and since networking was in its infancy, security was very weak.
leshake ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 08:53:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother "hacked" his schools only appleIIe back in the day. He went to a super retarded parochial school and the librarian was a massive bitch. One day while she was out he installed a program to make a loud set of beeps at a random time between 0 and 2 hours. It drove her nuts for months.
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 12:15:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
The librarian above hated games. Nothing brought her in faster than the bleeps and bloops of a game, and the Apple ii inly had one volume level - loud. So, I wrote a program to reroute all speaker output to the cassette port, and made a headphone adapter to plug into the cassette jack. Problem solved.
EDIT: For those who messaged, the program did not reroute directly, it scanned game files looking for the instruction that kicked the speaker pin and changed the destination so that it kicked the cassette pin. The edits would be made on disk. This worked for most games except those with checksums/etc, but for those (eg Choplifter and Apple Panic) we'd just open the machine and pull the speaker line. More risk of getting caught, though.
While PASCAL isn't a complete waste of time, it's pretty close.
For your own sake pick up a book on python.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 12:21:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
To be fair, Pascal was designed as an educational language, not intended for real production work. It can do stuff that BASIC can't, reinforces good coding habits and such, but is easier than something like Fortran.
Keep in mind, C was new, the alternatives were worse: Cobol, RPG, PL/1 and the like. Languages like Perl, Python, java etc were not around yet, and Ada was too big for PCs.
EDIT: C was around, but was not popular outside of UNIX systems (read: microcomputers) until later. Ada came out in 1980.
I actually started learning LISP on an Apple ][. RPN almost broke my 13yo brain.
But, when I went pro, I worked for two years for a company that had written an entire commercial pharmacy software package in P-system Pascal. And this was...hm....1994 or so. MY job was to port it from Pascal to a new language called Clarion.
Anyone remember Clarion? God, I miss it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:48:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Clarion? Decent speakers but their car CD changers sucked. :P
I learned turbo Pascal in like 2009. I think it was actually pretty good. Wasn't much of a move up from qbasic so it was pretty straightforward, but it gave us things like pointers so we could learn more advanced algorithms and concepts.
And yes, we were learning qbasic in 2009ish. No modern languages can give such straightforward access to colors and bleepbloops. Kids don't want to learn real languages, they want colors and bleepbloops.
So yeah, I think ancient languages can be just fine for learning programming. I'm also very strongly of the opinion that languages are irrelevant though. Concepts (general algorithms, flow control, pointers, etc) pretty much transfer between languages. I'm a hardcore Python nut, love my C++, but I still think older platforms are very strong contenders for "best way to get kids into programming".
As someone who taught Pascal on the Apple ][+ (which required the 16K language card,) I am trying to think of what you could have possibly hacked. I don't think the I/O library even had hooks for the modem at that point in time! And there was absolutely no access to any kind of LAN let alone WAN (aside from dialup, which I just ruled out...)
Strictly speaking, you could have done more damage with the Applesoft BASIC and some machine language/6502 calls than with Pascal.
We freaked teachers out using Beagle Brothers peek/poke charts. Like, there was a poke that would rotate the text 90 degrees teach time you poked it. So you'd write text on the screen with "I AM IN CONTROL OF THIS COMPUTER" and then:
30 FOR X = 1 TO 4
40 POKE 755,X
50 NEXT X
60 GOTO 30
And let it run and they'd freak the fuck out.
We'd write all these fantastic little Appleosoft programs to do what can only be called "text effects" (like writing a CNN-style "ticker" that ran across the bottom of the screen) and they'd always panic.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:53:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I disassembled Apple DOS in its entirety, (Thanks Beagle Bros!), so there was a lot we could do by modifying DOS and updating the school diskettes. The first hack was to ignore the write protect notch on floppies so that we could format the backside and double our storage, as well as fix those DOS diskette originals.
As I cracked more and more software, I added to my own library of things to do to copy-protect things. A few years later, a college student came to me because her prof had assigned Apple programs (Bachlehor Science Education) primarily so that he would have a nice library of utilities. This pissed her off, so I copy-protected the shit out of her diskette. The program ran during the demos, she got her A, but the prof didn't want to return her disk. Turns out it was because he couldn't steal the program.
I worked/taught at a computer camp during the summer, and the director bought me a crack card. THAT fucking thing was AWESOME. Any game that loaded into RAM and didn't need to read/write from the disc during execution I could just take a snapshot of.
Four gigantic shoeboxes full of double-sided 5.25" floppies jammed with games. God, those were the days.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:01:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
It was called the Wildcard. It had an NMI button and RAM to snapshot. There was another tool to offload WildCard onto floppy so that you could easily restore machine state and go.
I knew it well :)
EDIT: I still have those floppies. I donated $$ to my high school years later, and the math teacher told me the Apples were in storage about to be auctioned. He got me one and shipped it to me, which I keep in working order. So yes, I have one of the machines I learned on in high school, over 30 years later. And yes, I have Choplifter :) Broderbund made that floppy a real pain in the ass to copy, though, but it was possible once you figured out what they were doing.
Please tell me you play Lode Runner late at night. And Zenith. And Nadir. And Serpentine. And Star Blazer.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:25:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I pretty much played Choplifter, Apple Panic, Castle Wolfenstein, Lemonade Stand and Asteroids. Mostly Asteroids. However, I did have a lot of those games, not to play but to break them. Also had dBase III, PFSFile and other commercial programs, again, for breaking. Copy II Plus, Locksmith, etc were handy tools as well.
I had a CP/M and 40/80 card. My first "commercial" program was a dbaseII thing that maintained a mailing list for a girl's sleep away camp. Made bank on that thing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
dBase had an interesting deal. They had a modified format to prevent copying the master diskette, but each master diskette allowed a few copies to be made. The copies could not make further copies (mules). So, you could make a working mule copy and then put your master away in a safe place. Pretty cool. If a mule copy started to wear (or on a regular schedule), you could have the master diskette invalidate it and make another to replace it.
My old school had CRTs in the rooms instead of projectors. Holy shit that ear-splitting sound made me think I had tinnitus.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, I know. Matter of fact, I have tinnitus and it's nothing like the hell-cry of CRTs.
What's even worse is when they leave it on with no input, so It's just a black, screaming box, and when you ask to turn it off because of the sound, they refuse because they don't hear it.
This was first grade. Every once in a while someone would raise their hand and ask why there's a high pitch sound in the room, the teacher said "What sound?". It was an old teacher too. On the first day, they all plugged their ears when it was first turned on. Some people just dont understand.
Rejusu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not particularly common knowledge that your hearing range shrinks as you get older so most adults just get confused when they're told about a sound they can't hear. I can still hear those frequencies (last I checked) though and I'm in my late twenties. Confused the fuck out of my parents when we went to stay at this house and I told them I couldn't sleep downstairs because of this awful noise. Turned out to be one of those electrical pest repellants that just emit a high pitched noise to scare off mice and such. Unplugged it and they didn't know the difference.
Oh my gods, in high school, the library computer monitors would always be stretched to widescreen incorrectly, so I would press the buttons on the side to revert it to fullscreen unstretched (with the black, vertical bars). Every time, an asshole librarian (literally all of them) would scream at me and kick me out for the day.
Is it my fault they kept fucking up the aspect ratio and expecting me not to notice?
Devikat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back when the upgrade to 100MB mailboxes was amazing. And then people with original (first year it started) Hotmail accounts were upgraded to 1GB before anyone else as a pilot test.
I remember it but I never actually figured it out. I think it was either another browser or maybe they were trying to compete with AOL by having a complete network, but no one I know ever used it.
Sony monitors I'm guessing? There was a big batch of them that had defective NVRAM chips. I think there were some Gateway and Viewsonics affected as well.
Oh man I remember doing that in high school. The display settings were always messed up and somehow no teachers understood what we were doing, and this was a technical high school.
The only time this became a real complaint is when someone figured out a way to reset other people's computers from their computer. Then suddenly in the middle of presentations the screen with start resetting. No idea how they did it bit it freaked out people every time.
It's incredible the amount of people that would look at you as if you were a criminal when you're just adjusting brightness/contrast on the screen buttons.
On the other hand, it once took me like 10minutes to find out that the new computers at our Uni had all the system in the same "box" as the screen. So I was there looking at a dead screen for ages trying to fing where the CPU unit was hidden (not under the table, not over the table...). This was 2 years ago
If anyone asked me this, I just tell them I've built computers before and know what I am doing. Shuts them up real good, even if it's really easy to build a computer.
It's not exactly something I witnessed, but everyone in my office is computer illiterate. I got my job as an " I.T guy " and my entire computer knowledge is literally based on the ability to use Google when I need to fix something. It's been a little over a year now, they still have no idea and I'm being paid what I regard as way too much for what I do.
Edit: Ok, apparently this is more common than I thought
ghstber ยท 404 points ยท Posted at 21:48:11 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Congratulations, you've learned the secret to IT - I've been doing IT for 10+ years now and everyone I work with admits it freely.
I had one like that - "What is the easiest way to get one sentence again on the document?" I thought it was a trick question at first. Copy and paste got me the job...where I learned that knowing ctrl+c put me in the top 1% of computer knowledge there...with people who had presumably written all their college papers for their advanced degrees on computers.
sberrys ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:20:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would have played it safe and said something like "I would take some time to research the issue through various sources of technical information."
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:57:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is this legit? I'm always clearing up junk and viruses from people's laptops just by googling and using free software. Do I have career opportunities?
Literally all it took me to get a IT job in a Fortune 10 company. I dont even have a degree or past work experience in IT. 90% of it is interviewing well and the ability to sell yourself as a valuable asset
bdfull3r ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:27:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Just by sounding the part, you can get a lot of entry level IT positions
When I was younger, I was trying to find out something so I went into a computer shop at the mall. (It had something to do with SLI graphics cards when they were still new, I can't even remember what exactly) When I questioned the salesperson about it, he took me to their technician to ask him, the technician literally went to his computer, typed in my question into google and the very first fucking thing that popped up was the exact question that i asked on 'yahoo answers' with no responses. He said that he'd take my number down and get back to me about it. I never told him that it was me that posted the question there
I feel we should keep this info under the radar mmmmkay? I really don't want to do anything else than read reddit and code my own software (it looks like I'm working, lot's of complex instructions, nobody dares to ask what the hell I do all day)
ljshamz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well to be fair a lot of your qualifications are knowing what the answers on google are actually saying. Also, with a dedicated person you will learn from each problem and not have to google something twice.
I think knowing the words to describe a problem is important too. I mean how are you going to restart a browser if you don't even know what that is and just "click the blue 'E' to get internet"?
This is my goal in life as every place I work I get people who say "you're so good at computers!" Nope, I'm good at Googling and I'm good at working out why your Excel formulae no longer work.
Dozekar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:56:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you can figure out why excel formulae no longer work you can probably replace a good 33% of the programmers out there.
Meegul ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:50:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Granted, a shocking amount of programmers can't even code FizzBuzz to save their house from burning down.
I work for my parents and they tried to hire an it guy. The guy was very excited. During the interview he asked what his responsibilities would be, my mom responded "can you set up email?" to which he replied, "Oh is that it?" He never returned their calls.
It pro with two degrees and better than twelve years experience. This is how I do 85% of my job. The other 15% are things I do from memory (and I probably googled them).
The real skill isn't just in Googling. It's in a) being able to parse the reply so you know what to ignore and what to do, and b) being able to accurately Google. I've had to clean up after some "Google IT Techs" and they just follow blindly whatever the first result of their search is, even if the search has nothing to do with the issue (they didn't word their search correctly.)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Google is a huge part of IT support.
Yelnik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Buddy, I'm a software developer and even that job is just a glorified googler. If the Internet goes down I basically can't work.
I am a cellphone person. It's how I fix cell phones. The main skill is knowing what to google.
blamb211 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:28 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See, I would love to do that, but I currently do tech support for medical software. Google is zero help to me when there's an issue... Maybe one day, though.
Kronos59 ยท 469 points ยท Posted at 23:52:34 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A few weeks ago, I'm trying to show an older lady at work how to restart.
I tell her to click the start button in the lower left-hand corner, she asks "where?".
I respond with "right below the desktop", pointing towards the monitor.
She starts moving stuff on her desk looking for the start button. :(
To this day she still blames the computer for why "it won't work right".
I had a computer illiterate boss that I hated. I knew on my days off she would always go through the computer I used and check to see if I downloaded or added anything and she'd check my browsing history. I didn't really care, but because I hated her and I knew she had very basic knowledge, I decided to screw with her. I took a screenshot of the desktop with all the program icons on it, then deleted all the icons and set the screenshot as the wallpaper. I didn't get to witness the chaos ensue, because she waited until I was off to use the computer, but I was told she was frantic. She completely lost her shit over it asking one of my friends to fix it and make the icons work again. He just shook his head and said, "I don't know how to fix that, never seen anything like it."
I also set Chrome to only open in incognito mode which drove her crazy. Now she never had any history to snoop through.
I know that legally computers and the like are company property and they can do what they want with them, but there's no faster way to lose the respect of your employees than by treating them all like their liars/cheats/thieves/etc. On the other hand, I've found that especially with people like her - they look at the world through their own lens so the only reason why she was so paranoid that you were misusing/abusing the computer is because that's what she would be doing in your position.
That thought has kept me sane throughout most of my working life.
l3ri ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:05:19 on September 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in a hospital where they would get understandably upset if you left your pc unlocked. One of my friends there would always leave her pc unlocked so I did this exact same thing to her. After about 20 minutes of her freaking out, I fessed up and fixed it. She never forgot to lock her computer again.
Daealis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:51:27 on December 20, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Got out of a double class of IT back in high school when our principal was subbing for the IT teacher. Back in the good ol' days of Win95 and no shielding whatsoever, every PC in our school network had NetBus backdoors installed. In case you're not familiar with the program, you can basically do anything remotely to fuck around with the computer.
So principal is telling us some basic things, how to type and indent stuff etc. His monitor view is projected to a huge canvas for all to see. All of a sudden racist slurs start appearing in the middle of his sentences (control mouse, copy and paste text). He blushes like a virgin in the screening of 50 Shades and frantically deletes the texts and stammers a bit, moving swiftly on.
A bit later, he's showing us how some basic Excel formatting and sum macros. Bam, gay porn. Now he's cursing like a sailor as well as blushing, saying something about stupid popups and probably some webpage misbehaving.
Just as he's settling down, the cd-drive goes on a dancing spree, jumping open and closing again for a good two minutes straight. Once he can't figure out why the hell this is happening he just pulls the plug, leaving the drive halfway. Mumbling about viruses he tells us to go home, there's probably a virus here.
Also funny was the thing you did, screencapping the desktop and moving the real icons somewhere out of sight.
Oh, and all the games were copied to SYSTEM32, because no teacher dared to go there looking for installed stuff. Anywhere else but the system folders, and they'd disappear every week.
A photo was too small so they opened a PowerPoint presentation, dragged the picture in, resized it without pulling it from the corner, then showed the picture.
OR, just zoom in with any photo viewing software ever.
m3bs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:50:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Firefox at least lets you just right-click and "Open with.." straight into the browser. Or even just drag and drop into a browser. I think IE might try to save the photo as a file if you try that.
But yeah, like /u/AlllRkSpN said, just numpad plus and minus in Windows Photo Viewer is probably the fastest.
I got extra credit in 10th grade biology for showing the teacher how to google. And then I got even more extra credit for showing her what the "I'm feeling lucky" button did. Easiest 20 points ever haha
It was about 20 years ago, before the days of Siri et al. This unusually dressed Scottish fellow comes into my office and starts talking to the computer... And when he gets no response? Picks up the mouse and starts talking into that!
[deleted] ยท 337 points ยท Posted at 23:01:12 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 04:33:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unusually dressed and talks to a computer? Chances are he was a time traveler.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was about 20 years ago, before the days of Siri et al. This unusually dressed Scottish fellow comes into my office and starts talking to the computer... And when he gets no response? Picks up the mouse and starts talking into that!
He was a time traveler from the future, who got stuck in the past.
Tbh. sci-fi always existed. If you don't own a computer and see in a movie that someone talks to it and it responds like a conscious beeing you might come to the conclusion that computers are intelligent and can talk.
Yes, you are. All the jokes about whales, time travel and transparent aluminum are a coincidence.
akira410 ยท 717 points ยท Posted at 23:04:31 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work tech support for an ISP so I have many stories.
One of my favorites, though, when when a little old lady called because her computer was not reading floppy disks.
I head over to her place to diagnose the problem. She takes me to her computer to show me what the problem is. She pulls out a floppy disk and inserts it into the drive while it is still in a plastic sleeve.
I explained to her that the computer cannot read the disk when the sleeve is on. She needs to take the disk out before inserting it into the drive.
Her response was very innocent and cute - "Well, I don't want it to get a virus!"
I had to explain to the lady that the plastic was not a condom for the disk...
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 06:36:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted] ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 02:59:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
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akira410 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 03:49:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
These were the 3.5" floppies. This was 20 years ago, so you may be correct about it being paper. My memory says plastic, though. I have been doing some googling and am struggling to find anything, though. I can only find DVD/CD sleeves.
No, you're right, they were plastic - clear plastic. Many blank disks came like that in the early days of 3 1/2" media.
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 03:24:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
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akira410 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 03:43:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We were a dial-up ISP in a small town of a few thousand folks back in 1996-1997. Since we were the only place in town, we would also do repairs. We had a little room in the back where folks could bring there computers. We also made house calls (for setup and to fix crap.)
3.5" floppies came in plastic sleeves, little dust protector looking things. Like, not if you bought them in bulk. But when you'd get one or two installation disks, they'd usually have them.
Several brands of 3 1/2" disks came in individual clear plastic sleeves inside the box of 10. Quite common, but mostly on old double density disks. By the time HD floppies came out, they mostly stopped doing this.
nolo_me ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:42:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 03:41:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup this sounds bullshit. ISP's have separate technicians and tech support. The guy coming to your house isnt the guy who answers the calls.
akira410 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:43:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
We only had five employees. We did it all. It was a little mom and pop place in the late 90s. AOL wasn't even in our area at the time. I did phone support, house calls, tutorials in office, web design, and linux sysadmin duties. It was for crap pay, too. $7.00/hr. I was in high school at the time, so I didn't mind. I think I got a raise to $8.00/hr right before I quit and moved to CA. This was in very rural NC.
edit
Wow.. I found our old website... in all of its glory:
Uses siri to find the local best buy phone number. While siri is reading the # out loud, she scrambles for a pen and paper to write it down instead of hitting the call button. For the record she called immediately after so it wasn't like she was saving the # for later.
Had no idea the name. Not the make nor the model. Only thing she knew was the color.
She got ahold of some poor employee who had to look for an "orange case for iPhones."
As having worked in retail before in my life, I felt bad. Went on the Best Buy website and within 30 seconds found the exact case she was looking for (verified by her).
akucave ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 00:23:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I programmed my grandma's TV remote so that she would only need to press one button to watch her favorite channel. I even put a sticker underneath the button so that she wouldn't forget which button to press. She ended up pressing on the sticker instead of the button. Still really miss her though...
That's exactly how my grandma operates her cable TV! At one point we even need to disable all other buttons on the remote so she won't mess with it and "lost" her channel
Before I knew as much about computers as I do now, I called tech support because I somehow deleted the driver for the Ethernet jack in my laptop. the call went something like this:
Me: "Hi, yeah, I accidentally deleted the driver for the Ehernet jack and this laptop doesn't have wi-fi."
"Jason": "Ok, have you tried restarting?"
Me: "Yeah, it still won't work."
"Jason", after a few minutes of holding: "Ok, what I need you to do is visit the website for information on fixing it."
Lesp00n ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:29:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All else fails...
It's going to be interesting in a few months when there's a lot of users with no windows 10 instillation disks or product keys and in desperate need of a fresh install. I wonder how Microsoft is going to handle that.
You can create an installation USB drive or disk yourself so that's a decent solution
Lesp00n ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:35:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That requires preplanning. Have you met the average Windows user? Lol. Hell I bet by the time I get home and have the time to make one I'll forget.
I really should tho, I'm the slightly above average user the rest of them turn to like I'm an actual expert. I'll need to have one. They expect shit like this from me.
That reminds me of a common issue at my work. Sometimes one of my colleagues cannot log in to their computer because there's some problem on our internal server. So we call IT support and they straight up ask the person to send an assitance request by email from their computer so they can come upstairs have a look at it. It takes several tries for us to tell them that's frankly impossible.
I just don't understand how all these old people get the printer to work for shit like this, when I can't ever get it to work and I know what I'm doing
edymondo ยท 174 points ยท Posted at 20:20:29 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My sister (who did two years of a computer science degree I might add) couldn't work out how to connect her computer to the internet via an Ethernet cable.
I know everyone assumes CS means IT professional but believe me, the only things we learn that are close to IT is low level OS stuff. I thought I knew lots when I started my summer term and boy was I wrong!
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 02:19:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
It's a very broad subject, logic is an important topic in learning Computer Science though for sure.
If I had to say personally what CS is, it's the science of computation and computation is in many ways just a fancy word for "doing something" so while computers are incredible tools to do things they aren't actually the focus of computer science and as a consequence you don't need to know how to operate a desktop computer in any real capacity to still explore the fantastic depths of CS as a field.
The physical parts of a computer and how to put them together is one of the first things we covered on my CS course, but fair enough after the first semester it was mostly programming
Understanding how an OS works is important. I know down to a low level how it works but boy did I not understand how the upper level functions worked. Things like the registries and trouble shooting IE are not things we learn at all in the CS degree.
You think there would be at least one required class on common sense. Nothing against CS people at all, but I've seen people (yes, plural) with CS degrees that couldn't plug in a power cord. That's like becoming an automobile engineer without knowing how to pump gas. The curriculum for some of these programs seems to be stuck decades in the past.
Moxz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:43:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've got a job in IT right now, planning to go back to school for CS eventually. Feels like a good step forward.
It's good to know the practical implications of things, before you start manipulating them.
True computer science is a funny math degree. How many ways can you sort something, which is fastest and/or uses the lease memory? How about looking something up?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:47:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
CS doesnt mean hardware savvy
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:06:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've met plenty of CS students that couldn't debug themselves out of a paper bag. This doesn't surprise me.
I have a four year CS degree and currently work in IT. Can confirm that many of my peers had no idea how to fix their computers, and many of them are far better programmers than I am. At my first programming job out of college the IT guy looked at me like I'd grown another head when I was like "Hey, my optical drive is dead, I checked the connections, do you have another one I can swap in?" He was like no, no programmers no touch hardware.
I have a Spanish language course on CD and it's IMPOSSIBLE to find it on the internet. And I have a CD with a collection of old games, some of them almost undownloadable.
I don't even have an optical drive in my current computer. (Had to get the LAN driver from my phone, but that was really the only issue with getting everything installed in the beginning.)
Back when I was but a youngling, my dad had a program (not his) that would say, "Thank you for buying a Coke! Here's your free cup holder!"
It would then pop the CD tray open.
My Mom googled Tetris and clicked on the first link. She thought she was playing for like ten minutes, but it was a YouTube video of someone playing Tetris.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:02:59 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No matter what you say, I'm going to imagine it was this video of TGM3.
It's OK, it's pretty addictive!! I try to wait and do a month at a time on the weekend but some weeks man I gotta get my TFTS's on school nights. I have like 4 more started but the last thing I want to do when I get home is write about work.
It also doesn't help they allow fictional submission and ban people who point this out on the sub and don't require a submission to say if it's real or not so it took all the enjoyment out of that sub
This is about ten years back, so forever in computer time.
My mother in law used to think that you can type anything you're looking for with a ".com" after it, and that website will pop up. Like if she wanted a recipe for pot roast, she could write "Recipeforpotroast.com" and boom, it would be there.
She learned the hard way when she wanted to look up Dick's Sporting Goods.
Thankfully now dicks.com does go to the sporting goods website. At least once every few months I'll want to look up some equipment at work and I'll put in dicks.com and hit enter, before having a mini heart attack after I realize what I put.
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 01:48:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone needs to buy penises.com and redirect it to the Dick's website.
yokayla ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:30:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This basically used to be me :( We didn't have a home computer until I was 12. I didn't know about search engines until I was 15ish, so I just guessed names of websites until I found the information I wanted. The sad part is that I'm only 25 now but woefully behind the rest of my generation.
spmd123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:40:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are on reedit, so you have gotten most important steps down.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:47 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had a friend in middle school that went to whitehouse.com instead of .gov while doing research in the library.
He seems to take it pretty well. Everyone does at least one thing that is really silly to most people. I've certainly done my fair share. At least his fuck up might save somebody else from doing the same.
miahelf ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that a troll account name? DerpyMcDerpenstien?
nolo_me ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:46:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, right. In a parallel world, maybe.
erishun ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:16:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of all the thermal paste horror pics from BuildAPC. No matter how many times you say it, some people will apply paste like cream cheese on a bagel.
They'll just squeeze out 2 tubes of Arctic Silver right on top and the paste will ooze out the side as they tighten the cooler.
Not the most, but there is a line in Degrassi Next Class that seriously made all of my friends cringe, which is saying something because that show's dialogue is MOSTLY cringey:
"My app is boring? Your UI is open source jpegs you got from mp3's on the web... it's total shovelware."
I mean, sometimes I open image files in audacity to apply audio filters (it makes the pictures look cool and glitchy).
I'm pretty sure you could create a jpg from an mp3 if you fuck around a little with headers and padding... I mean, it wouldn't be a picture, but you'd have a valid image file.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:12:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am pretty impressed at how smooth she said that bs.
Ghi102 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know what, creating jpegs from mp3 is not a bad project... The rest is bs, but what would happen if you took the data from mp3's and exported it in a jpeg format...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ghi102 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was literally the most computer illiterate person. She is pretty okay now but she was way too illiterate with the computers back in the day. She is a professional doctor but that did not help the computer part.
I used to get back from football training, shower, have dinner and go to my room to browse the internets. It's usually 830PM by then. So, this one time, mom walks up to my room at about 930PM and says "I want you to help me get some info regarding this address from the internet. Is it possible?". I was midway into finishing a TV show so I asked her if she can wait till 10PM, I will help her out with it. She was adamant and insisted I do it right away. It was odd of her because she is a very easy going mom and would never crib about a thing. Curious, I asked her what's the matter and if anything is worrying her. She says "Don't they shut down the internet for the day by 10PM? This would take at least longer than 30 minutes I believe". To this day, it's a running joke in the family about the internet shutting down at 10PM. Mom still has some of her illiteracy left as she recently carried the monitor, only the monitor, to the technician guy because her Outlook stopped working.
Source: very briefly dated a med student. She'd have a separate Chrome shortcut on her desktop named "gmail", which she would open and write gmail.com into the address bar.
Mom still has some of her illiteracy left as she recently carried the monitor, only the monitor, to the technician guy because her Outlook stopped working.
I work customer service and I good go on for days about things. The most memorable one is where I had to spend 5 minutes with a lady because she didn't know how to get past a captcha
man we had so many calls for forgot password that we had to put it on the main page of our site so people would use it. We were getting upwards of 500 calls a day just for that.
nektro ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 23:55:05 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was helping an elderly woman with her computer the other day, after she said her granddaughter had deleted Windows.
Her Google Chrome was 24 versions out of date and had simply stopped displaying msn.com.
This happened a while back but it's still the best thing that ever happened to me at work. True story.
So, i was hired by a big defense company (upgrade tanks, naval weapons, etc) with over 3500 employees. You can imagine this was a very big company. We were in building 34 and if you needed to go somewhere quick you took a bike or an electric car.
I usually did 2nd line support, but they had a couple of people call in sick and asked me to do first line support. It was a friday and not much was happening, besides the usual emailproblems and tech guys turning off unix machines that needed a checkdisk command with admin rights.
The phone rings.
Yes hello, this the secretary of the CEO. We need you to come over NOW! We have a big problem.
ME: What seems to be wrong?
Her: Mr CEO is trying to open a file in Word, but everytime he does this, scrambled text is showing up. I THINK WE ARE BEING HACKED!
(this was a big issue, since a couple of weeks before this a group of activists broke into the company and climbed on top of our radar tower)
Me: I'll take a look from here and take over your screen. Hang on.
So i take over his screen this is what happens:
HER: I don't know what this is. You see?!? THis is so weird...
Now, i thought i knew what was wrong at this moment, but i wanted to see in person. You don't just walk into the exec office every day.
ME: Uhuh. I'll be there as soon as possible!
So i grab this electric car, drive over and 5 minutes later i walk into the executive building. A very nice building, totally different from the rest of the offices.
They even had their own dining room and bar. THe security guy sees me coming and waves me through, he was informed of my coming and
understood the importance. I get out of the elevator at the top floor and am greeted by the secretary, a manager and some other assistent, all a bit panicked.
Come over, have a look at this! The ceo says..
He shows me: File, open: GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
So i look at him. I look at every single person in that room. You could feel the suspense. I look back at the computer. I pick up the newspaper that was on top of the keyboard and ask:
try again please?
The looks on their face: Priceless.
(Just a helpful hint: if you put two spaces at the end of a line then you can get away with not having to double space. Right now your comment looks a bit jumbled without the linebreaks.)
I've always been a huge fan of the following when a user has an issue:
A) Taking a picture of their screen, emailing it from their personal email to their work email, creating a new email to IS Support and finally attaching the photo to that email.
B) Doing a print screen, printing the print screen in black in white ink, scanning the print screen they just printed and having the scan emailed to their work email, creating a new email to IS Support and finally attaching the scan to that email.
[deleted] ยท 142 points ยท Posted at 22:56:48 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, you should have put a trigger warning on that comment. So many people put screenshots into Word documents! And if they have multiple pictures? Multiple Word documents! I did once have a marketing person send me a powerpoint show with her errors, because that was the only program she was comfortable with :/
The sad part is that I routinely receive escalated tickets that start with our help desk like this. Screenshot of remote session with the user pasted into a word document and uploaded to the ticket.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 00:59:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Around 1998 I was 13 or so, and my parents drove us 4 hours to another city to see my grandparents, who had requested my father to look at their computer because it wasn't working. (My father worked for IBM since the 80s.)
I figured before he had a look at it I'd give it a shot. I turned on the computer, turned on the monitor... it worked fine. My grandmother comes in squeeing and hugging me, "Oh, you clever girl! What did you do?"
clykel ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 21:10:54 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend, me and a another kid were setting up computers in school one time, my friend was moving a mouse around the see if it is working and the kid next to him said "don't move it around a lot, you'll slow down the computer" this kid is already redneck dumb but when he said that it killed my insides. My friend said when he looked at me, I had the face of pure pain and disappointment.
akira410 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:36:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can remember when MP3s first started becoming a thing. My computer could barely play them. If I moved the mouse around it would cause the song to skip. Ahh, the good old days. It really whips the llama's ass.
oh man... I remember doing stuff like that. I wrote this little hang man game in pascal. it was all ascii, of course. I modified the ascii char set in the program to change some character into a little spine shape so when the dude died his body would separate from his little ascii head and you could see his spine.
I also took a microphone and recorded myself cracking two pecans together to obtain a nice sickening crack for when the break happens.
I just found out the other day that the hardware/software store near me charges 17euros to install an antivirus software (that the client has to provide, of couse). If this is a thing, maybe I'll put up some paper ads saying I'll do it for 10e and still get some cash.
Told a guy in his 50s I was training to forward an email and he picked up his laptop and moved it about 2 inches forward on the desk and then looked at me and said "now what?"
Not a dad joke, actually happened to a guy that had been working in our restaurants for 30 years and we brought him into the operations side due to his legs and feet giving him problems.
I easily believe this. My now ex brought home his new iPad from work. Opening screen says "slide to unlock". He took the iPad and forcefully slid the whole tablet about 8-10 inches across the table. He did it several times getting more and more angry that it wasn't working. I was choking on my laughs before I could suggest that he swipe the screen (this was about 5 years ago and I hadn't used a tablet or smart phone at that point yet either). I do hate reading some of these post-50's stories, as if age is a reason to be unobservant, uninformed, and unwilling to learn. I'm in that range but have figured things out and can troubleshoot a lot without any formal training. I do grant that some of the truly naive ones by elderly who have absolutely no computer experience can be cute, but anyone still active in the workforce shouldn't be so computer illiterate.
Thank you! My mom is in her early 60s and has a smart phone (that she uses without issue) and is a wizard on excel and is still my go-to if I need to know how to do something with it (before Google, even).
Age is no excuse; it's pure apathy and apathy alone.
I was teaching a class in Customer Service....this was in the late 90's. I said 'Ok, pick up the mouse, find the cursor and point it at the xxxx on the screen'. Kept hearing a bonk, bonk, bonk noise. Yup, someone picked up the mouse, found the cursor and was busy trying to reorient the cursor by touching mouse to screen.
123AJR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:56 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother taking a picture of her computer screen using her phone to screenshot. I told her how to use print screen and she refused to use it because it is too complicated.
If they ask for help and refuse to learn because "it's too complicated", I refuse to help. Simple as that.
kefefs ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 00:40:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My old boss in the early/mid 2000s was really old school and didn't get along with his cell phone very well. It took him a while to figure out how to use his company-issue flip phone, with him breaking it or dunking it in water or his/someone else's coffee pretty often out of frustration. Then his ex wives started calling him at work all the time and he didn't want to block their numbers for some reason, and he started breaking his phone more often.
This continued about three years. When he'd wreck his phone, he'd just throw it at me or my colleagues and say "reboot it", apparently not knowing what that means. What we'd do is just requisition a new cell and put all his contacts on it. At one point one of my coworkers started keeping a stash of spare phones in her desk drawer.
Jaicobb ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 19:15:37 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I helped an elderly co-worker with her pc. I kept saying open this or click on that and she would literally click the icon once. I said you have to double click it. She had no idea. She still doesn't.
She was always late for meetings because somehow outlook would just close itself down. She didn't know she closed or know how to open it.
Well, fuck me in the ass, and call me Johnny. That was something I didn't know.
mconen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:00:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is a clear logic and a simple set of rules on whether to click, double-click or right-click. It's far beyond my understanding how some generally smart people who use computers daily don't have this figured out.
Yes, exactly! I constantly have to watch my father and uncle struggle with this concept with almost every click. I try to tell they the rules to it but it never seems to help...
mconen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:11:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is not able to do anything on a computer without specific instructions. I mean this literally, as in literally literally.
But recently, after some 27 years of living in a house with at least one computer, she has learnt that on desktop view you double-click to open an application or a folder, and on internet (which she still needs help to get "into") you use single clicks. I'm hoping to see her learn all the rules within the next 2-3 decades.
Agarax ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:39:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's amazing people like this somehow don't get fired.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:23:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Last year sometime. She only used the laptop to go onto social media to play games and to type url's. She never needed to use the space bar until she had to do something for work on Word.
beeblud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did she ever use a typewriter or anything?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:24:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, her line of work never required anything like that until last year where she took up another role on top of her original role!
rumdiary ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 22:27:51 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Former Director of <charity> who was personal friends with the Queen: "I want a LinkedIn profile!"
Me: "Are you sure? It's almost like a tool to spam your friends"
"I want one"
1 hour later, after accidentally firing off emails to several people who won't want emails
Director: "well why would I want this?! This is useless to me?!"
You brushed off LinkedIn as " a tool to spam your friends". This person, which I admit I was wrong for assuming was a man, is friends with the Queen. LinkedIn is all about building connections. She was the perfect candidate to use LinkedIn. Maybe she was computer illiterate, but not because she wanted to use LinkedIn. That was a good idea.
kpanand ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 02:35:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A colleague told me that she is going to reuse the printed sheets by printing a blank word documents so that the paper will be clean again without any contents.
No, it wouldn't. Printers work by putting ink or toner onto the page, it doesn't take it off. If you printed a blank word document over a printed page, nothing would happen.
My mom called me crying because she deleted a bunch of emails via her phone "to get more memory", and didn't realize that they were deleted from her email in general. She thought they'd still be there when she logged in on desktop.
funkmon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They would be if she was using POP, which is what is often used by email programs, which is what she is likely used to, as opposed to IMAP which has only become the standard very recently. You can set up her email program on her phone to connect to the pop server maybe.
My mom used to live within walking distance and was having some computer issues so she was coming over to use mine for a while. She called me into the office saying I must have changed something because her email wasn't working anymore. She was typing her email address directly into the url window. After I tried explaining the problem she adamantly told me that she always does it this way and it always worked. ๐ฃ
Ravinac ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 21:58:41 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a user that had a micro computer. They complained that they couldn't get the second monitor to work, so I went out to take a look. I explained to them that the second port on the back of the computer was just for another type of cable and that the computer couldn't support another monitor without a video card.
A few weeks later we get a call from the same user, who said they purchased a new video card. It was working fine, but anytime the computer was bumped the computer would die. I figured that the card was just a little bit loose. I get there and I see the most horrific sight I have seen as a tech. The have taken this HP and jammed a card like this into the computer. Now some of you may have noticed, that this card is much too large for that computer. Well they noticed that too, and decided that, rather than return the card, or call us and ask what card to get, they cut the side of the computer open. Then to hold it in place they took duct tape and taped it down. Needless to say we took away their computer privileges for several months.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:41:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Went to a uni lecture years ago where the lady presenting it would point the remote control at the screen to press the button for the next slide. This was despite the fact that
a) the screen was an inanimate fabric projection screen with no electrical components whatsoever, and
b) the remote control was actually connected to the computer with a cable
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 03:24:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Working with IT professionals you'd imagine they know their way around Excel, but one guy's method of counting out around 50 rows in a contiguous range was to drag a selection around them one by one while counting out loud. He then noticed that all but 3 had a particular value, so to find out the difference he opened up the Windows calculator app to figure out 50 minus 3.
Another guy, who equally ought to have known better, would type a single capital letter by toggling caps lock before and after.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:31:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes when people are having a lot of problems typing their passwords I remote into their computer to see if I can figure out what is going wrong (eg sometimes there are spaces after their username that they can't see, or caps lock or num lock issues).
I've been in IT for almost 20 years. I'm excel stupid.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:38:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are a lot of people who technically fall under the IT umbrella who aren't actually computer literate. At least this was the case at my previous job in healthcare IT.
I do that with caps lock. Go into the habit when I was first figuring out how to type as a little kid and didn't know what the shift key did. By the time I was in typing classes, it was in my muscle memory. Now I type so quickly that going back and changing it would just be unimaginably time-consuming and pointless. I can still type upwards of 100 WPM.
Couldn't figure out why her bagel was too big for the 'toaster drawer'. She was trying to put a bagel in her dvd drive. I'm 100% completely serious. She had heard 'computers can do everything.' Opened the drive on her first computer and notice it looked bagel shaped and she knew what she had to do.
PotatoOX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:25:58 on November 30, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A COMPUTER PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP
My grandpa did this. He thought the phone was ringing (there was no phone near) because of a 'ding ding ding!' sound in a video game i was playing. He picked up the remote, didnt even press any button and just went "hello? This is kilspeed111's grandpa speaking". Silence. He put it back down and pretended it to be a joke. I know for sure it wasn't.
See that's the kind of thing that only someone who knows about (internal) hardware would notice.
Next time you watch CSI/another procedural where they use UV light to look for blood or wtv, check if they're wearing goggles. Probably they are. But what about the rest of the face? Welcome skin cancer!
Customer: opens laptop can you get rid of these viruses?
Me: looking at empty desktop What type of issues are you having? Popups?
Customer: looks confused & points at desktop these viruses.
Me: (knowing how to speak customer at this point) this picture? That's your desktop wallpaper. Those are bamboo trees.
Customer: I don't know nothing bout no boo trees.
i swear on my life this is nearly word for word the conversation.
dr-steve ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 10:55:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in the day of After Dark screen savers. Kids, this was a commercial product with things like flying toasters, fish, all the stuff you get for free.
Anyway, a friend was showing it off to me. She was excited about all of the neat things it could do. Lightning storms. Swirly colors. But one of the screen savers wasn't working. It didn't display anything. No flowers, no fireworks, nothing. Completely blank.
In my tax accounting firm, we brought in some nice but clueless newbs to work on basic personal 1040 tax returns.
One of them was constantly asking for help, which I always gave happily. My bosses complained that I was using too much time to help, so I should "let them struggle" a little bit.
The newb starts complaining that when she pressed numbers on the keyboard, the cursor would move but the numbers did not appear. I knew the "numlock" key was off, but I stuck to my boss's wishes and stayed quiet. Finally, she stands up and yells "I CAN NOT TAKE THIS ANY MORE, THIS KEYBOARD IS BROKEN!!"
This was someone with 10 years of experience in computerized accounting.
My family got our first computer for Christmas in 1999. My sister, who was 13 at the time, decided to set the screensaver to say "Help! I'm trapped inside the computer!" She left it on one morning when we went to school so it could download something on our awful dial-up. When we got home that afternoon, my mom was in a complete tizzy; she really thought someone was trapped in the Internet. So she turned the computer off and was trying to figure out what she could do to help this person. After my sister stopped laughing, she explained what she did and had to show the process to my mom to get her to believe it was just a joke.
We still make fun of her for it occasionally. She has a tablet and wifi now, and seems to do okay with it.
I used to teach healthcare software, where trainees would come to 2-3 consecutive weeks of classes. In someone's THIRD week, she was moving the mouse around on the goddamn monitor screen.
Ckrapp ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 23:40:44 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My ex boyfriend once called tech support because he "broke the computer" and it wouldn't come back on. He had shut it down via the start menu and didn't know there was an actual power button. D'oh!
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:16:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This kid is dumb and comes from money. He is leasing a brand new car with full coverage insurance and all the bells a whistles and trying to pay for it. We work at Taco Bell paha. When I showed him the next computer I'm building for ~$900 his response was "well I'm not a gamer it's just for school and browsing" as he showed me a $2500 Mac Book. Christ help this poor child.
Oh my.
Our IT department sent out an email to staff nationally last week warning us of a recent email scam pretending to be the police requesting payment of speeding fine. In the email from IT they included a screenshot of the email in question, and warned us not to trust any emails requesting payments.
One of me less computer literate colleagues asked me into his office for some help. He said he had an email about a speeding fine but couldnโt get the link in the email to work.
Wait for it โฆ
He had open the email from IT to warn us against this scam email, and was trying to click on the link inside the screenshot of the scam.
The overweight lame excuse of a teacher in a "Computer Essentials" class freaking out when one of my friends had a command line open running a random number generator script.
I shit you not she thought he was "Hacking the Mainframe" and told him to stop.
Also reminds me of the System Administrator at my high school and his incompetence. Our school district uses Teamviewer to monitor what students do on the computers, understandably. At other high schools in the district, the Admins use group policy to disable command line, task manager, and other things like mapping network locations and tinkering with files on C:/. However at my high school, our Admin is a twat and doesn't have any of the group policies enabled. So anyone can circumvent any security and surveillance measures on our PCs. I shit you not, you can run the command line as an administrator, and perform tasks with elevated privilege. You can end the Teamviewer task via task manager; then your session is free from prying eyes. You can even map the root folders for the student drives for an entire graduation year, ie //year2018. From there you can read/write to anyone's' personal drive in the district. I know of people who you can pay to delete peoples work off their drives.
That's just a brief list of the extreme security issues with our high school's network.
TL;DR Dumb teacher thinks kid is "hacking the mainframe" by having command line open. Also our school's sys admin's incompetence is a big security threat.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:30:29 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in high school, we discovered that we could SSH into a few routers used by the school district with no password.
Could have wrecked some havoc. Didn't but could have.
There were actually PCs that had a power outlet for plugging in the screen, so it would turn off with the PC. We had one like 15 years ago or something, not sure.
EDIT: never mind, saw OPs reply. But those existed!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:42:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:53:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...How, though? I don't see how you can plug an AWG power cable into itself, given the shape of the female end of the cable. I also don't see how you can plug an AWG power cable into itself and it's parent tower at the same time.
Not the most computer illiterate of all time, but today I told someone in an email that they were trying to log in using the forward slash / instead of the back slash \ after their domain name, and they asked me how to type the "backwards /".
It's actually really interesting how many people don't know the difference between the forward slash and the back slash.
The funny thing about that is that brackets aren't even the same thing as a parenthesis. Brackets are these things: [ ] . That's more of an English issue than a tech issue sadly.
Not necessarily, I had to deal with this issue with people learning Python -- which uses both. The word "parentheses" proved to be a very big barrier in spoken conversation.
"Ohh, you mean the round brackets."
gene1113 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:39:57 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We had a girl get hired who claimed she knew how to use computers, she in fact, did not. We had to teach her when she got to the end of the mouse pad to pick up the mouse and movie it up the pad. But I will say, I'm proud of her, she was older and willing to learn. 5 years later she is still there and when I left she was doing great.
A friend of mine wanted to show me a YouTube video once. He proceeded to open Google Chrome, type in "Google" in the search bar, - Google searching Google - clicked on the link to Google.com, typed in YouTube to the search box, and then clicked on the link to YouTube. Talk about efficiency. เฒ _เฒ
I can beat you there. Sitting in chemistry class a few years ago and the teacher wants to show us a video on youtube and she's got the screen projected onto the wall so we can see it. Googles google, types in youtube.com to the search bar. The results come up and instead of clicking the link, she copies the green url beneath the result and pastes it into the address bar.
I once helped a woman who couldn't turn her computer on. Pressing the on switch did nothing, it just sat there blank. Walked her through all the usual stuff: is it plugged in, is the screen turned on, can you hear anything when you press power, etc. Nothing worked.
It turned that while, yes, the power lead was plugged into the back of the computer, the rest of it was coiled up neatly on the floor instead of connecting to a power socket. I pointed out the issue and she said to me in amazed tones "You mean I need to plug both ends in?"
Back in high school, 2001, this wannabe-baller/gangsta in the baggy white clothes, who always had his homies with him sucking up to him (a strange cultural encounter for art school I tells ya), always tough and "I gon beat yo mama ass" and fresh and stuff, sat down at the library computer to send an email. When he got to the "To:" field, I caught a glance of him entering "My sweetest princess", referring to his girlfriend. He later bitched about her never replying like she's not getting his mails.
That ain't how it works, homie.
Complained her mouse wasn't working. Pointed out that the mouse was next to the orange she was holding.
lombax-j ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:16:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I use to work as an onsite computer tech, I had this one guy that I went and visited on multipule occasions, he was a hoarder and it was hard to move in his house, whilst setting up a new PC for him I witnessed him copying single emails onto blank CD's (one email per CD) to make a copy of them just incase he needed them.
Keica ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:29:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a professor in university who had scanned a document on an angle so it was crooked.
During class he was showing us the document using the projector his laptop was hooked up to. Looked at, realized it was crooked, and then picked up the laptop and tilted it to the side to try to straighten the scan he was showing on the screen.
[phone rings]
"Can you come look at my computer? I've been working on this spreadsheet for an hour, I just touched the mouse and now all my work is gone."
...data recovery process consisted of a quick diagnostic performed visually on the application's scroll bar, followed by manual input applied upward via the mouse wheel.
...data recovery process consisted of a quick diagnostic performed visually on the application's scroll bar, followed by manual input applied upward via the mouse wheel.
You're either in the military, or have the best resume ever written.
At my school, I was charged $150 for a replacement school laptop. Here's the catch...
The district monitoring system had some malware on it, which ended up corrupting Windows. Every time I booted it up, it would ask for Admin credentials to run Windows Restore (which I had made weekly backups), and I went to the library to get the librarian's admin credentials to restore the system.
She looked at it, and insisted that the laptop itself had broken. I insisted she send it to tech support so I could talk to people who speak my language. They insist that the laptop is broken, and nothing can be done except to throw it away. I insisted they only needed to type in their frickin login credentials and all would be fine!
They took the laptop to the back room, came back with a brand new one and billed me $150.
An older coworker wanted to buy a digital camera. He asked me about "The Megapickles and Gigglebites" with full sincerity. I had to bite my lip hard before giving him the basics (including pronunciation).
cihojuda ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:49:16 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine won't be the worst one in the thread, but it's the worse one I've got. Back when my grandma and grandpa had a computer, they had a crappy one that used to freeze on a pretty regular basis. My grandma used to double-click on everything, even the stuff that didn't need to be double-clicked; and then when the computer would freeze she would double-click on everything on the screen just to see if she could get it to do something. I swear she used to end up with like eighty IE tabs open at the same time.
older (mid late 60's) coworker told me I wouldn't be able to match her speed for data entry since she had been doing it for so long... this woman had never used Ctrl + F, Ctrl + V or C and was clueless about tabbing to select
Ah that, of course I knew that, but the choice of words made me believe you could actually select a part of a text like with Shift or the mouse.
Scacchy ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:46:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Spilled something on keyboard.
Took off a keys to clean them.
Replaced keys randomly to board.
Upset that indicated letter would not print when pressed.
...
This is in 2000. I was working for a start-up internet company. The network admin was constantly hounding people about locking up their computers when they leave their desk.
I went to talk to him one day and he wasn't at his desk, but his desktop was unlocked. I asked where he was and was told he went to lunch, so I say down and sent out an email from his computer.
It said that Microsoft has issues a recall on mouse-balls, and that he needed people to bring theirs to his desk and he would give them a replacement. He gets back from lunch and there are about 20 mouse balls on his desk. He had no idea what was going on so he just started doing his thing. About 2 hrs later, the CEO's personal assistant called asking if they could get the replacement balls because they are pretty much shut down all over the place. He remained baffled until she mentioned "his" email. People returning these balls due to a recall had to be the stupidest thing I've seen.
He returned all the balls and started investigating how the email got hacked. I had to come clean on it, bwcUSe it was about to become a thing involving consultants, network audits and he whole 9 yards. I got fussed at for sending the email, but overall they were cool about it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:27:16 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My stepmom used to do this as well, but she had IP tv, and with the bad internet on her neighborhood, she really had bandwidth problems when more than 2 people where connected at the same time.
Boss walks by a coworker with 2 monitors and asks "why don't you have 2 keyboards?".
piifunk ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:53:06 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Overheard an interaction instore:
Tech: "Just go ahead and enter your password."
Her: "No, I don't have one of those."
Tech: "You should, what was it when you created the account?"
Her: "Oh, I have to put that in everytime? I thought I just made a new one every time."
Rich1223 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:37:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the last two weeks of my senior year of high school, my physics teacher took a day off. He did not miss much school, but he almost always had the same plan when he took off, which involved us watching one of two videos and taking notes on them. This particular day, one of my classmates wasn't having it. While the sub was distracted, he unplugged the power to the projector, and when she went to go start the film, she found she couldn't get it to show up. Three different people from the tech department came in, trying everything in the book before the issue was figured out. The last dude walked in, immediately looked at the plug, and replaced it into the socket, while turning around to look at my laughing classmates with disapproval. It took a whole forty-five minute period to plug in a projector.
My grandmother's homepage on her internet browser was Google- I'm going to assume my grandfather set it. After getting a new computer or something, the same browser's homepage had been reset to whatever internet provider my grandparents used.
At a family dinner, my grandmother adamantly declared that "Google had disappeared" and wouldn't change her mind on the matter until my brother "found Google" again by setting it as her home page once more.
I work for a large tech company in America. I work in the IT department and often help new hires set up their computers (which just entails changing passwords basically), this conversation happened last Monday:
Notice that a new hire is having a lot of restarts, and walks over
Me: Sir I noticed that your machine has restarted a few times now, is something wrong with the machine?
New Hire: Oh no, I'm just so clumsy. I keep hitting the wrong letter key for my password and so I keep having to start all over again.
This guy who is probably making twice my salary got hired somehow by this large tech company and he doesn't even know about the function of the backspace key. It is just so perplexing. Like how did he even get hired?
My grandpa is really bad with technology, and yet he thinks he's really good at it. Every time I visit him he wants to show me new apps he's downloaded to his iPad. He seems to think that his iPad is the only thing on the planet that can download apps. He will sit me or a family member down and have us watch while he shows us each thing the new app does. For example, last time I saw him he spent about 30 minutes showing me some magazine app where he can read articles from newspapers and magazines and buy subscriptions to magazines, etc. My family and I have a "secret code" so we can save each other when he starts trying to show us this stuff. We just cough twice quickly and one of us will "need help in the kitchen" or something. Sometimes we make each other suffer through it just to be assholes.
Also, my favorite story of him is he recently posted an article to Facebook. But instead of posting the link to the article, he copied the entire page, every single word, and pasted it into his status. Every single word. Even the advertisements at the bottom of the page, the comments, random words popped up in between the sentences of the actual "article". I don't even know how he did it. My dad and I were laughing about it together but decided we should save him the embarrassment and just not tell him what he did wrong.
"What operating system do you have?"
"My computer is black"
"No, I mean what does your computer run on?"
"Errr... what's the one with the square?"
"You mean windows? Which one?"
"windows 9"
kill me
mgoode87 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:48:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A former professor of mine gave an unplanned lecture in class on an off topic question. The professor is a business professor and was talking about cloud computing technologies when a student asked what is the cloud. The professor explained how the cloud is not connected to any computer it just exists in the clouds because of this it is a lot safer than storing files on your local computer. No never need to worry about it being hacked because it does not exist on a machine. The professor claimed once we fully figure out how to tap into the cloud and its computing ability we will not need to build anymore server farms. The professor added an extra essay question on the final to explain what the cloud is how and how it could be applied in a business setting.
Silicon Valley has a hilarious episode about this.
m50d ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The only point in using tabs is if you want people to be able to use different tabstop settings. Otherwise using tabs just gives people an opportunity to fuck up by setting their tabstops wrong, and you're better off using spaces.
But if people work on the code using different tabstop settings, they will fuck up the formatting. Someone will use spaces to indent and it will look fine on their computer, and then anyone with different settings will see it as wrong. Since there is no way to automatically enforce that this doesn't happen (or at least I've never seen anyone actually manage to do so), it's going to happen a lot, and you're going to end up worse off than you were with spaces.
So just use spaces.
Zei33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:39 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
You're wrong. For example, we use coda where I work and my co worker uses tabs that are 2 spaces width, I use 4. Coda understands that it's a tab and changes the spacing depending on the users settings. This is how tabs are supposed to be used.
The only time this doesn't work as intended is for code like this where everything is aligned because text will always be the same size. While the tabs aren't. This isn't a problem though with all other code. Saves time, and works better. If some asshole was using spaces instead of tabs, their code would be two spaced next to my four spaced code since Coda won't resize spaces. Here's how it looks when people use spaces (for example 2 spaces and 4), this wouldn't be an issue if you used tabs. That's far worse.
Pfft, you people, as if one space wasn't enough. Next you are gonna tell me you use line breaks instead of making the entire code one glorious unbroken horizontal row.
One of my friends dad's is quiet poor with computers... One time my friends dad was using his computer and it froze in which after being told it froze he proceeded to put it in the sunlight .
chemo92 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:28:30 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wrpy ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:58:16 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work for a Computer Science department, someone went through the effort of printing out a clip art emoji that was "sick" (thermometer and all) and underneath it said "I don't feel so well, I'm broken." Turns out they never plugged the power in. Computer Science professors and students can be the dumbest group of smart people.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:07:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I interned with some state troopers, and once they found out I had a minor in computer sciences I was basically the base's geeksquad. Once I got dragged over because a cop couldnt close out of excel. I thought it was a joke (they liked to prank interns all the time). I very slowly moved the mouse to the red X and closed out of the program. The other troopers laughed at this guy but I was so shocked I could only fake a smile
My mom comes into my room with her phone and ipad and tells me she is on the phone with apple and she is trying to resolve a virus she got. The guy tells me to run support.me and this is where I realize something. I ask her if she called this person and how she got the number. She shows me the ipad with safari open and the popup that says she has a virus and needs to call this number to fix it. I had ran support.me but never typed in the code he gave me and was scared I just gave this scammer all my computers information. It was extremely tech illiterate and I almost was a part of it.
Good that you realised in time! Once they gain access to your computer they can do all kinds of nasty stuff. They usually flash some fake virus warnings then convince you to buy a fake expensive antivirus but when you refuse they are known to get angry and mess with your data. Others encrypt your drives and demand money for the encryption key... The best thing you can do is just mess with them and if you have the time, act like you're a retard and waste their time. Every second they're on the phone with you is a second they're not scamming others.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:53:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once watched someone in class try to search for movie posters. They opened up chrome, typed in "Google.com", then typed in "Google images", and then finally searched "photo examples of movie posters". I damn near had a stroke just watching
LRM ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:02:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have to turn on the computer and open up Word for my mom so she could type something and then she would call me back to help her with printing. One time I guess she went to the bathroom or something and the screen saver came up, and she FREAKED OUT because she thought it was all gone. She has come a long way from that but is still the least tech savvy person I know. She is 61 and my 85 year old grandmother knows more than her. My mom still uses a VCR every day to tape her soaps, and uses an old film camera because she doesn't like digital because "you never get the pictures." Whenever she sees a picture on FB that she likes, she prints out the whole page- adds, comments, and all, because she doesn't know how to select only the picture. So now, on top of the boxes of pictures she has had developed over the years, there are just random, unorganized stacks of Facebook print outs.
I am getting frustrated just typing this.
I used to work for Tesco Broadband here in the UK, I think the American equivalent of Tesco would be Walmart(?), so you can imagine the type of users this company had.
One day I was answering email queries, and someone had asked a customer to send a screenprint of an error message they were getting. Rather than using the printscreen function on the keyboard, the customer had lifted their bulky CRT monitor (this was 12 years ago) on to their scanner and sent us the image that way. I wish I kept a copy of the picture!
Walmart is a grocery/general goods store. If Tesco Broadband has something to do with cellular and Internet stuff, the equivalent would probably be AT&T or Time Warner Cable.
I work at a place that sells and fixes computers. One day I had a customer come in and buy a laptop. She came in and looked at all of the laptops, we have quite a few, picked out one, nothing special about it, and then left. About half an hour later our store receives a phone call. It's the lady. I pick up the phone. She ask, 100 percent serious, "How do I open it?". Mind it is not one of the older ones that has the little button locks on the front. I was slightly confused by the question, so I asked if she meant that she couldn't locate the power button. Nope, she did not know how to open the laptop. I then tried to explain that she should be able to place her fingers into the middle cracking and pull apart. Silence on the other side of the phone. I explain, like a book. She is not getting it. Like a clam shell. Nothing. I just tell her to come back in and I'll show her. To which she complains that it is a long drive.
She comes in the next morning and puts it on my desk, telling me she can't open it.
I look at her and open it just like any other laptop. She looks at me as if I've just preformed a magic trick. I do it again, slower this time. She doesn't understand.
I then recommend she gets a desktop.
TLDR- Person can't open a laptop. Does not compute.
Mom buys brand new MacBook Pro. Has high speed wifi at the house. Asks me for directions and proceeds to write them down using the macbook pro as a steady board.
Expensive to use as a hard surface, but why is this bad? If she is walking or driving, a scrap of paper in a pocket is much more useful than a file on a macbook.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think they were talking about directions as in 'how do I do X on my new laptop?'
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:52:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
holy shit lol
DaPino ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:15:05 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was interning at a big company in the IT department, mainly performing tech support. The computer illiteracy was through te roof there altough there's one story that stands out because ot actually made me nope the fuck out of there.
Someone asked me how he could ensure his files were safe in case his computer broke. I told him to "back up his computer frequently.
One month later, I get a ticket from said user about his computer breaking down. I go down there and yup, the computer didn't do shit. I asked him what he did right before the crash and he says he backed up his computer and after that the lights went out. I said solething along the lines of: "great, then we can restore it to a new computer and get you on your way immediately. Now, where did you back it up?"
I get a confused look from him as he says: "Well, there obviously" while pointing at his computer. I told him to explain to me exactly what he did. He said he'd show me and proceeds to walk up to the computer, grabbed it with both hands and pushed it back.
I tried to contain myself, asked him if I could take a look and pulled the computer away from the wall. He had squeezed that thing so fucking hard against the wall that multiple connectors had just broken off.
I just stood up, walked right past him, went back to my department and told someone else to deal with it because I didn't have enough experience to deal with that shit.
And there are many other stories I have about that place. Each one an entirely different flavour of stupidity.
I can somewhat understand this one. You're usually not supposed to power down a computer using the power button so he might have thought this applied to phones as well.
In highschool my computer teacher had ordered copies of Photoshop Elements and Premier Elements (both for Windows) for a couple of computers in the lab, and asked me to install them because she didn't know how.
I told her that since the Premier installer was a DVD we'd need to get an external DVD drive since the Windows machines only have CD drives. She got angry and told me that first of all she didn't want it on the Windows computer, she wanted it on the Mac. Secondly, we have a DVD player connected to the classroom TV, so just use that. I tried to explain to her all of the reasons why that wasn't possible, so she said she would call the school district tech support to have them tell me how to do it since I clearly didn't know how.
She got them on the phone and handed it to me with a smug look on her face. I took the phone and told the guy "she wants me to install a Windows program to a Mac using a DVD player from the TV" and handed the phone back. She quickly got very angry, yelled at them, hung up the phone, and told me to get out or I'd get detention. A few days later I found out she called Adobe to demand a refund because "what they sent me doesn't work!".
Some context: this computer teacher was originally the typewriter teacher from way back when. She knew nothing about computers, but they made her the keyboarding teacher when computers came along because she obviously knew typing. Later on, since she already did "computer things" for that class they made her the teacher for all computer classes.
This is a call I received once while doing internet tech support:
Me: What seems to be the problem Sir?
Him: I'm calling to let you know that terrorists are sending coded messages to my email.
Me: Really? How are you sure it's terrorists?
Him: Its a bunch of jumbled letters I cannot understand. Looks fishy to me.
What was really going on was he did not have the correct language pack installed to read the spam messages he was receiving. I tried repeatedly to explain this to him, while also doing my best not to laugh in this guys face. What he said next made me lose it...
Him: It's okay son (obviously this was an old man). You do not need to explain anything to me. I'm just calling to let y'all know what is going on. I have already forwarded all of these messages to Homeland security.
I could not take it anymore. I had to mute the guy so I could bust out laughing! This old man actually spammed homeland security.
I'm not in IT. I just happen to know that to fix them, you usually have to make sure they're plugged in, on, and restart them.
I was called over to the self-professed CTO of the company I was working for to figure out why one of her programs wasn't working. She'd click on it in the Start bar, watch it fly off the screen, and go back to the Start bar when she'd click on it again. I took a few post-it notes off of her second monitor and found the window. The monitor was even on, and you could see the shape of the window through the post-it notes.
But I'm the asshole for "making her feel stupid". I didn't even say anything. I just removed a post-it note or two and walked away.
LOL, our lady put notes EVERYWHERE
All kinds of passive aggressive childish notes. What was really funny was the company events. Morale was so good along with the 'team' atmosphere no one wanted to come. Even to events where you got a bonus.
From what I have heard they have serious employee churn now. Most talent has fled and they are paying a high premium for 'new talent' that stays a set period and bolts for a real job.
Was the person so loud that you could hear her braying laugh through a full floor and walls?
Vendors used to beg not to have to deal with her directly. I remember joking with a rep at a large company about 'cookies would cover it' and getting a huge tin of cookies.
A: Yes, but it was her high heels that she insisted on stomping around in while wearing yoga pants and a sports bra. If she hadn't been the real-life embodiment of Cruella DeVille, she could even have been hot.
B: Vendors didn't want to deal with her because the policies she mandated led to GlassDoor reviews that the vendors couldn't distance themselves from fast enough. One such policy was to change a $60 weekly beer/wine budget for drinks in the company fridge after 4 to "Now you can bring in your own drinks from home when you're here after 5! Isn't that great?".
50-hour work weeks are expected (no overtime), so people were almost always there after 5. Coming in early wasn't an option, because the management team never came in that early, and if they didn't see you, you weren't working.
Most definitely not the same. She was out the door at 5 on the dot unless she was showing off for the new superstar bossman.
If she wore yoga pants it would not have been a good thing. The last policy I remember was making sure to call the customer directly before emailing all their account info in reply to whoever emailed.
God I still hear her braying laugh and I have been gone for a while it echoes in your skull.
The worst now is the fact that professors can get their PhDs and be masters of their trade, but are completely unable to figure out the autoplay feature on youtube
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:20:51 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I enter the room to witness this:
"Yes I'm putting the mouse on the top left corner of the window!"
My mother is usually quite computer literate. She's been using computers constantly since the late eighties and knows her way around them, but recently, she got a tablet, and it changed her. I was showing her an article on my laptop, and she reached out and started swiping at the screen, trying to scroll it. She thumbed at the screen for a good ten seconds before turning to me and asking me why it didn't work. I stared back at her agape (because seriously, she's used this exact laptop before, she had to know) and when she eventually realized she was so embarrassed she went and hid in the bathroom. The worst thing is, that wasn't the last time either.
To be fair, so many things have touch screens now, that she might have gotten used to it. It's like the first thing I try when I test out laptops at stores.
cky311 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:42:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother was taking an intro to computing class. At the request of the teacher, the class was told to close some of the opened windows on the computer screen. My mother gets up and closes the actual windows in the classroom. I love my mother!
My grandmas homepage was set to some really shoddy toolbar/search engine malware site. So I decided to change it to google. She then proceeded to ask me the next day why I "downloaded Google on her computer" and asked me to remove it.
or even worse: "The Computer won't turn on", then when you come you see that the computer is missing, and you ask where she put the black box. Then, she leads you to the bin.
On a general family visit several years back, my aunt calls me to look at her computer because "Half the computer is blue, half of it is gray, and I haven't been able to see anything on the screen for a month."
So I head to her house turning possibilities over in my head. Graphics card? Monitor? I'm on a visit, so I don't have most of my usual tools with me.
So I get to her house, she turns on the "modem" (desktop tower) and starts ranting about the problem again as the computer boots. I'm watching. POST seems okay, no weirdness with the splash screen. I wonder what she mea...OH MY GOD.
She was running Windows Me with no wallpaper and a blue desktop background. She had somehow pulled the old school gray taskbar halfway up the screen and not even attempted to lower it. As she was pointing excitedly and explaining how her "computer" (monitor) had been like this for over a month, I clicked and dragged the taskbar to its original height.
She was dumbstruck and declared me a genius. She demanded to know how I did it. I tried explaining it to her three times. Don't think she ever understood. They'd seriously been using only the top half of the screen to browse internet, read email, and play low res Walmart games for over a month.
My grandma got a ticket and ended up needing to go to online traffic school. I figured I'd help her get started as she is 100% computer illiterate. I asked her to move the mouse up to click on a part of the site that was higher on the screen than her cursor. She then proceeds to lift the mouse up off the desk and click while holding the mouse in the air.
And that's the story of how I went to traffic school for a ticket that wasn't even mine.
I work tech support for a university and we had a ticket come in from a lady who was having a legitimate problem. We asked her if she could send a screenshot of the error message to help us solve her problem.
She:
1. Took a photograph of the screen
2. Uploaded it to the computer
3. Printed it out
4. Marked it up
5. Scanned it back in
6. Opened the scanned image in word
7. Took an ACTUAL screenshot of that
8. Sent us that image
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:02:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here we go.
I work as an IT tech for a company that has around 600 users on site. One user calls Helpdesk saying "when I type, sometimes my computer freaks out and does random commands". We remote in to her workstation and watch her type something in word. Randomly it would start pasting, asking to print, save, etc. We replace the keyboard thinking it might be broken. Didn't work, same thing is happening.
This continued for roughly a week while we were trying to diagnose the issue. Finally we send someone over there and watch to see how it was happening.
As it turns out, this lady was sitting in such a way that when she would use her keyboard, her tit would sag on the Ctrl key and cause a whole slew of commands as she types.
Not wanting to cause awkward embarrassment, we replaced the keyboard again but this time added a wrist support to keep a little distance between her keyboard and boobs. Thankfully that worked.
I think he just wanted the text to be bigger. Given how advanced computers are, its not inconceivable that a browser can enlarge the text on a website for your viewing.
It means he probably needs glasses and can't read the text very well so wanted you to do something such as bolding the font so he could see it better. Enlarging it all would probably have been just as adequate.
mconen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:15:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are browser plugins that do exactly that (and more), tho.
Ok, I wasn't going to respond, you youngsters are all more savvy than me, but I'll chime in. Back in the days of dial-up, two friends my age wanted to join the cyber age. I directed them what box, monitor, printer, etc to buy, and then set them up for both of them. I figured it wouldn't be too hard to teach them the basics of Word/Excel/web browsing.
Neither of them got farther than email. One would save webpage links to her desktop, and then be completely confused when she'd try and open them when she was not online. I was never able to get it through to her. The second one could.not.get. attachments. She barely even got email, but an attachment was beyond her. She figured since she's given it away, it was now gone.
My boyfriend works in tech support for a printer company. Shouldn't name the company but it's a massive company from Japan with a red and white logo. His calls are insane more than half of the time.
Customer: my printer is printing very lightly, I can barely read it!
Bf: you are probably out of ink sir, if you have an ink cartridge nearby I can assist you in changing it.
Customer: okay when are you gonna get here? My address is (place that is in another state across the country).
Bf: no sir, I can only help you over the phone, I'm currently in (our state and city).
Customer: oh well that's ridiculous. I have some ink, for uh.....an HP printer.
Bf: I'm sorry sir but that is not going to work, you need ink cartridges compatible with the (brand) printers.
Customer proceeds to curse him out and hang up. He heard from a coworker that the man called back because he had destroyed his printer by forcing the hp cartridge into the printer, destroying the track it was sitting on. He demanded a warranty....but was just three weeks outside of it. Bet that felt good for my bf to hear.
My grandma one asked me to teach her how to use the Internet. Confused I asked her what she meant. She had no idea how to even enter a domain name. She has never used the Internet. I tried for 2 hours to explain it to her and she eventually gave up. I mean I don't know how to explain it in a manner other than you enter the domain name and go to the website. I told her if she wasn't sure where to go to use Google to find the website. I also told her she could effectively go to Google and use that as a "base of operations" but she just had no idea.
Thank god for apps. That seems to be the only way she can use technology at all.
I installed them all for her. When she wants a new one someone has to go over and install it for her. She can only use a tablet because it has the easiest interface for her.
Wayln ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:17:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the 6th grade my technology teacher could not get his computer to work he called in the other tech teacher to assist him in figuring out what was wrong with it after 30 mins of trying to figure out what was wrong they realised it was unplugged this was the man that was paid to teach us.
I needed my w2s from work and my oh so helpful grandpa decided he would assist me in finding the website. I tried to use his laptop but he insisted on figuring it out himself.
After 20 minutes of the website not popping up, I said "ugh. Just Google it!"
He got really pissy and said, "I'm sick of people telling me to Google things! I don't fucking have Google!"
The number of people that tried to buy such a cable from us was shocking (no pun there at 5V & 500mA!).
_kemot ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:30:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
me as a student at an university working as IT Help guy:
1) Secretariat calls me she has PC Problems and people were using her pc without her knowing.
2) I go down and she tells me that somebody is accessing her pc while she is away
3) She is telling me that she is taking her keyboard home for a long time to prevent the Hackes to get to her PC
4) She is clearly paranoid and I want to prevent her taking her keyboard home all the time. She places hairs in the room to see if things got moved.
5) I joke around telling her this makes no sense as somebody can bring his/her own keyboard and just plug it in.
6) I joke around more telling her that its better to take the Monitor as its so heavy
7) I go home later that day
8) Next day I get a call somebody stole an Monitor and I need to get a new one :/
Yep. Turns out she took the TFT Monitor home with her. Later she told that she did it because the IT Guy told me its the best way to prevent Hackers accessing your system.
I know she was taking the bus and I always imagined how funny it would be seeing an older lady with an monitor going home from work and next day going back to work again.
My boss must like to click on every shiny button he comes across on the internet, because he'll watch those "free presentations" about "secrets 'they' don't want you to know about" (every single one of them is black text on a white screen with some infomercial voice reading the same text that's on-screen). I used to bother googling a random phrase I'd overhear from it, do 30 seconds of research, and call out to him "it's a scam!," but I've decided I'm just gonna let this play out and see if he ever actually falls for any of this BS.
I also get to hear him complain about how slow his computer is daily. Maybe you'd solve some problems by not rocking Windows XP on a computer you bragged about getting on Black Friday years ago when I started working here in 2008.
EDIT: He also fell for that "something's wrong with your computer, call Microsoft at [some BS scam number] now" scam. I was back in my office, so I didn't know what was going on until I overheard enough of the conversation to get suspicious. I wound up having to walk up to him holding up a sheet of paper that said "HANG UP THE PHONE RIGHT NOW!"
I explained that if I hadn't intervened when I did, things would've gotten worse. He went outside for a smoke break and then the idiot scammer tried to call back and deal with me. Idiot scammer said he'd been disconnected and wanted to speak with my boss. I told him "oh, you didn't get disconnected, I simply explained to him that this is a scam" and, wouldn't ya know it, the scammer hung up on me after that.
Boss overheard some of us talk about dual screen and boosting productivity...decided on a whim to go on a saturday off work to best buy and proceeded to purchase 48 new pcs and screens with the help of a salesman who had just been hired on as a first time job. The salesman and himself decided that a dual screen setup these IT savants spoke of must consist of 2 pcs, monitors, keyboards, and mice per employee and employees would for sure get double the work done...he then paid his nephew and some friends to spend the weekend setting them up so his IT guy could come in and have everything ready after the holiday weekend...this made the returns for the half that needed return a giant pain in the ass...luckily we all got new pcs out of his generosity rather being stuck on our hampster cages.
When I was in elementary school, around 5th grade, my mom asked me for some help on the computer. She said she needed help writing a business letter and asked if I could help her. She had already opened the program she intended to use.
I help my wife's parents with their computers. Also we bought them both cellphones (Don't ask me why..). So ever since Windows 8 came out we have spent a lot of time educating both of them on email, contacts, Facebook, etc. Even showed them how to use Cortana to easily create appointments and reminders. Repeatedly. Several Times. Again and Again. Thought we had made real progress.
So, I have setup their computers with TeamViewer and Skype so I don't have to drive 30 miles each time they have a problem.
Fast forward to 2 days ago I was on Skype (his PC on wired connection) trying to help her dad with entering a Wi-Fi password on one of the phones (an ATT tech had changed their Wi-Fi password and didn't tell them). Her dad (85) tried 3 times but it didn't work. So I decided I need to make the drive over there to help. I asked him what his schedule was like for the next day.
Fully expecting him to open Windows Calendar, I watched on Skype as he turned around to a side desk grabbed his hard-copy Franklin planner to check his schedule.
I just wish I had been recording a video of it...
I get this kind of problem all the time on my YouTube channel. While it's frustrating to answer some questions over and over again, it's the comments that thank me for the help that make my day and keep me publishing videos. Even though they are on YouTube and have some computer savvy, they still have problems with something (defaults for Photo App is a big one).
Just try and do what I do. Help them and smile internally. It will make your day when they thank you profusely. I can't tell you how many YouTube channel owners have thanked me for showing them how to install Movie Maker on Windows 10. 'Saved my channel'.
Three years now and the number of 'Thank You's far outweigh the angry ones. Oh, and her parents think I'm a computer GOD.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:43:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I found this thread way too late, but here we go:
I used to work in a call center. If you've never worked in one, know that every time someone gets a particularly good story or hilarious caller, we share it immediately with the rest of the floor.
One of my coworkers was working with this very sweet old man on the phone trying to fix his credit card processing software. He didn't know what kind of software he had, so my coworker was trying to determine what the icon looked like. My coworker asked, "Sir, what's on your desktop right now?"
Pause
Pause
"Uhh... some pens, a keyboard, a coffee mug... why?"
Not sure if it's computer illiterate, or just stupid in general, but a lady brought her old Dell in complaining that things were moving around when she moved the mouse in Outlook Express. When I looked at it, I noticed the separator bars were all over the place and simply but them back to where they should be. I couldn't figure out what was going on, so I had the customer sit down with me and try to re-create the problem. Well, she started whipping the mouse everywhere on the desk while randomly clicking mouse buttons. She accidently clicks and drags one of the separator bars in the process and winds up making the inbox to small to see. "There, you see that? That's my problem. How do you prevent that?" Speechless, I simply told her, "I don't know how else to put this, but to prevent that from happening again, just don't do that." She didn't understand and I had to physically show her the stupid behavior she was enacting, and explain why that was a problem.
User called in with an AD password reset. Called back minutes later with another reset. Listened as they locked themselves out over the phone. Using basic temporary password. Confirmed that they did not have caps-lock on. Same deal.
"What lights do you have on in the top left corner of your keyboard?"
"I have one over the number one, and one over the teepee with the horizontal line through it."
A glass of water spilled onto my laptop while it was laying upside down so water got right in and it immediately stopped turning on. I tried to dry it out for a day and I was so convinced it was dead that, rather then call tech support, I took it in to best buy expecting them to pronounce it DOA. He gave me a look, opened up a paperclip, and stuck it in a little hole in the back and reset the damn thing in about 10 seconds. Apparently it has a feature to disconnect the battery to prevent further water damage and a nifty reset button. They were nice and sent me on my way with no charge, but I felt pretty dumb
The lady at my office who "manages" IT came over to my desk, where I have dual monitors, and asked how they worked... because they weren't touching. She couldn't understand that the monitors didn't have to touch to display. Again, this woman manages our IT.
Interviewer: I'm gonna put you in IT. Because you said on your C.V. you had a lot of experience with computers.
Lady: I did say that on my C.V., yes. Hah hah... I have lots of experience with the whole computer thing. You know, emails, sending emails, uh receiving emails, deleting emails, um, I could go on.
Interviewer: Do.
Lady: The web. Using the mouse. Mices, using the mice. Um, clicking. Double clicking. Um, the computer screen of course, the keyboard. The bit that goes on the floor down there.
Interviewer: The hard drive?
Lady: Correct.
Interviewer: Uh huh! Well you certainly seem to know your stuff. That's settled. I've got a good feeling about you, Jen. And they need a new manager.
In elementary school, a teacher actually told us that clicking X would damage the computer.
nianp ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:16:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some fucker told me that in Primary as well.
Mrrrp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:10:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And this is how she avoided an involuntary Windows 10 upgrade...
funkmon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:05:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, sometimes people like to do things in a slightly slower, but more controlled way. Many types of software minimize to the system tray when you press X, but when you close them through the file menu they actually close. He may like the assurance.
I heard about some guy on Reddit who would click the big red X in the corner instead of Alt-F4. Every time.
bot_One ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doubt he knew this but Windows will remember the size and position of a window for the next time an app launches if you do File > Close instead of the X
"I hit the eject button, but the monitor turned off!" She kept hitting the power button....
roddz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:11:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dad unplugged my brothers laptop in an attempt to turn it off
kalgary ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:24:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Another one.
An engineer is in the production department, using a workstation that is set up to test circuit boards. Wants to turn it off. After staring at the screen for way too long, he asks "How do I shut this Linux machine off? I'm a Windows guy." The Linux machine is running KDE. Has a thing that looks exactly like a Windows start menu. I tell him "Click the thing that looks exactly like a start menu." He does. "Now click the red button that says "Leave" that is exactly where the "Shutdown" button is in Windows. It opens a small window, offering options like "Shut Down" and "Restart", etc. He stares at it until I prompt him by saying "Now click 'Shut Down'."
mentat ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:00:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom has had an iPhone for a few years. Last month she asked me if there was any way to keep the message alerts on screen a little longer since they would "go away so fast."
I showed her the notification tab and she was absolutely astonished. She's been showing her friends and it's been blowing their minds. How could they all not know this? :/
This was just a few days ago, I went to type "t" (for Twitter) in the address bar of Chrome, and the first suggestions was "take me to Google". I guess my Mom doesn't realize that she can just type in Google, or just type the search there. Oh well, it doesn't hurt her in any way, but I still think it's pretty funny.
My computer "teacher" for middle school. Usually just makes sure the retards of 7th grade simple Word functions. Decides to bring in a motherboard and "explain" it to us. She points at the chipset, calls it the CPU. I told her that was the chipset and not the processor. She completely patronizes me and says that the CPU socket that I pointed out in fact is the heatsink. She also (somehow) forces a new age soundcard into a DIMM slot. Whenever I corrected her she wouldn't take my answers as truth by any means and even gave me a bad grade. I feel bad for her future students.
Grandma called on the phone for some basic instructions, we told her to right-click and she still couldn't get it to work... Ended up driving to her house to find she had written the word "click" on a piece of paper. Oh, grandma.
screen shot of a computer taken by camera from an iphone sent via email, put into a word document... the picture was of a mouse pointer on a blank white screen zoomed in so all you could see was the pointer. Helpful. Real helpful.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:40:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A few months ago my mum's 20 year old crt tv packed it in. I had an old 32 inch SD LCD tv sitting around so I gave it to her. Later on she calls me up and says "how do I get the channels on it?" I said I wasn't sure exactly what buttons you have to press on that tv to tune it but I said it's probably under menu. She couldn't figure it out so I said just plug in the digital set top box she was using with the analog tv for the moment and I'll fix it properly next time I'm in my home town. The next time I see her she tells me she paid 2 guys to come to her house and tune it for her. She paid them $100 for pressing a couple of buttons.
Some TV show that I walked in on, not sure what it was. Some investigators were doing forensics on some bones of a victim. So they scanned pictures into a computer. Suddenly the computers got crazy, they spouted a bunch of nonsense, and suddenly a computer catches fire. They determined that the killer was so smart, that he put a code on the bone so that when it was scanned as a picture, it would turn into malware, which would burn down any computer with the picture on it.
My dad kept complaining about the incessant pop up ads he was getting. "Its non-stop! The computer is un-usable!!!" I go down and have a look, use the computer normally for about ten minutes and he is incredulous. I take him to the computer for him to recreate the problem... low and behold...HE IS USING THE RIGHT CLOCK BUTTON!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:51:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in IT for years as a computer repair tech and the people who didn't know how a power button worked or that you had to plug things in were bad, but nothing was quite as bad as the guy who brought in a laptop soaked in urine and asked why it wasn't working.
"Wait for 10 minutes for the internet to warm up before sending the email"
ivylowe ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:50:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ex-boss called me from home asking if I could help him with his emails. He preceded to ask me "Can you see my screen on your laptop?" He legitimately couldn't understand why I wasn't able to see his computer in an office 20 miles away.
One of my biggest friends is a teacher of IT to pre-college students.
Sometimes he also provides training for his co workers (teachers of other areas).
In the early 2000s he had to provide training to his colleagues with Word and Excel. Take note that he was in his thirties but his co-workers were >40 and the computer mouse at the time was the one with the ball inside.
In the middle of the training he literally saw one teacher doing everything correctly however that teacher was handling the mouse upside down, in one hand, while using the other hand to make the mouse ball move...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:52:32 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like some kinda eccentric FPS player's mouse grip.
Knew someone who had a laptop with a busted keyboard. He would compose emails by copying and pasting individual letters from other emails using the mouse. He said he was always really happy when he could copy a double letter combo or even a whole word!
I was hanging out with a friend after helping her move in. She, myself, and another friend are sitting around her room and she starts complaining about how her computer has been super slow and weird for a week or two. Sure enough, the screen has a weird tint to it and its running insanely slow and its getting weird errors.
We're stumped. It's not a new computer by any means, but it sure as hell isn't old enough to be having these problems. We're looking at it for ten minutes before I glance over at the tower. There's something attached to the side, a disc the size of a hockey puck. I reach over and casually pull on it, meet resistance and clunk it comes off. Magnet.
She had no idea that magnets were bad for computers, and had left a huge magnet on the side of the computer for two weeks. :|
I'm the head of IT in an auto-parts distributor. The company owner is very old-school and doesn't know much about computers, so he doesn't really consider IT as an important part of the company operations, despite the whole ordeal being controlled and backed up by an ERP (Enterprise Resource Planning), which means sales, inventory, evaluation and such is done completely by the ERP and whatever I add to it.
But this is not his story, this is the story about HR and wireless mice.
Not long ago, they had the idea that to be more "up to date with technology", we all would get wireless mice and keyboards. So HR bought 150 wireless mice, those that come with a little USB connector for the computer instead of Bluetooth mice.
She planned to send them to each branch office around the neighboring states unpacked, because otherwise "They would just store them and would never use them" and so, as she started unpacking them, she noticed "Huh, they all come with the same USB thingy, so they must be all the same" and she started piling them together.
So, at the end, she ended up with a box full of the "USB thingies" and another box of wireless mice, and what she did was to take a random USB thingy and a random mouse, put them in a plastic bag with the name of the recipient, and send them to each office. Of course, none of them worked and since they didn't give me one (Because I was "already up to date with technology" because I use a laptop instead of a desktop), I didn't know anything about it until I started receiving calls about the "server messing up the mice".
So I got all of the mice back and had to spend the whole day sorting them. Fun times.
My computer science teacher told us: "If your computer doesn't have enough specs for python." Just let that one sink in for a second.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:00:15 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least 5 times a year I have to deal with 'my computer froze up'. So I grab two double a batteries, go over to the employees desk and place the batteries in the mouse. Voila.
Talking with my uncle about my computer set up. He says his is slow as shit, asks if I can help him out. I agree, proceeds to tell me not to delete Facebook...
My grandma deleted a ton of important emails because she thought the emails would still be in her phones inbox since she only deleted them on the pc. It took me a long time to explain to her that deleting an email deletes it from all devices.
Agreed. This is not necessarily an intuitive thing for someone to understand if they're not super tech-savy. I mean, it's definitely obvious to those of us it is obvious to, but I wouldn't think this was a particularly ignorant error, considering some of these stories.
My boss wanted me to train his older brother in AutoCAD. He brother was 55 at the time, recently divorced, lost everything, really wanted a fresh start.
First day, ME: "go ahead and grab the mouse..."
Him: "what the fuck's a mouse?" This was in 2005, he had never touched a computer before.
Heard this one from a coworker just last week, and maybe it's not that bad, but it made me want to scream internally.
For a little background, I'm currently a biotechnician at a research hospital, but before that I was in web design, so far from being an IT guru (though my dad was, back in the day), I'm at least moderately computer literate. One of my many extra duties is ordering lab equipment, and we just acquired a band-new set of blood gas and temperature probes for in-vivo experiments. We also have an older-model monitor and probes from the same company.
The tech who initially requested the new probes sent an email to the company (copying me in since I would do the actual ordering) asking for some new connector cables to go with the new probes. The company readily offers cables that connect most older-model probes with newer monitors, but what he was asking for were cables that could connect the new probes to the older monitor. In my mind, that's like trying to get a Windows 7-era program to run in Windows 98, or trying to run a DVD in a CD drive.
The sales rep seemed very puzzled and tried to explain to the tech that they did not offer such cables because they were, frankly, impossible. When the tech talked to me later about it, I tried to explain the problem in simpler terms, but he was convinced that the rep was just trying to get him to buy a new console 'cause that was his job.
My Brother used to work for an IT service company. (One of those ones where if you had a tech problem, you call the company and he would answer and fix it)
Anyway, one day he got a call from an older lady, and she had a problem where her mouse would get to the edge of the mouse mat, but her cursor was only half way across the screen. She obviously needed to move the mouse further across the screen But How!?!?
Step One: pick up mouse
Step Two: move mouse to other side of mouse mat
Step Three: put mouse back down and continue use.
This was one of many story's he has of computer illiteracy.
Many years ago while doing desktop support for a trading floor.
we had the head of a desk demanding we reboot the mouse server because his mouse was not responding properly.
We went to his desk, cleared the lint from the rollers and the mouse ball, and said "mouser server rebooted".
I had to teach dad how to drag and drop something. Last year.
amgin3 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:02:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much anything my mom does when she touches a computer. When I lived at home, she would make me come fix her computer anytime a dialog box appeared on the screen, even if there was only one button to click. Even smartphones are too much for her to handle. One time she wanted to borrow my Galaxy Note 1 to make a call; I had to dial the number because she couldn't figure out how, then when I handed her the phone after it started ringing, she couldn't figure out how to hold the phone. She literally held it upside-down and backwards while yelling "Hello" and couldn't understand what was wrong.
I sent my graphics in to the manufacturer to be replaced because of artifacting issues. Once I got it back, I put it back in my computer and fired it up. Nothing was on my monitors.
I have two monitors. When I power on the computer, my right monitor stays off and my left monitor powers on so I can punch in my password. This time, neither monitor powered on.
At this point I was rather upset because nothing was working. I swapped cables, checked BIOS...I eventually got fed up with trying to fix it and just unplugged the monitor and just used the right monitor.
After a few hours the thought occurred to me..."is the monitor even on? I hit the power button and boom! Cuts on with no problems.
Student tech at a university. Heard this phrase from a professor in the education department: "When I plugged my computer into iTunes, the color of the login screen changed!"
They can't be trusted to shape the nation's future.
wargy2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:14:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
University professor called IT Support because his emails were missing. After asking about the missing emails, it finally became clear that the only reason he thought they were missing was because there was no "cruiser bar" (scroll bar). I lowered his screen resolution (so a cruiser bar would appear) and he thanked me for both getting his emails back and making the screen easier to see.
Ok, so several years ago I was part of a project team that developed a construction project management application. One day, shortly after we deployed an update we received a call from a user stating that she was unable to use half the application because she couldn't navigate to part of the application screen. So two of us walk over to the building she was located in to try and diagnose the problem.
When we arrived at her desk she had the application running and proceeded to move her mouse to the right side of her screen but was stopped because her mouse reached the edge of her desk. I literally stood there lost for words as the other analyst took her hand while still holding the mouse, picked it up, and moved them to the left so she could move her mouse further to the right.
We walked back to our office in silence where we tried to explain to the other developers what had happened.
In high school business tech class, this gangster thug kid next to me was trying to browse the internet. He would type whatever he wanted to see and then add ".com" after it. Stuff like, "buyguns.com" "[city name]gangs.com" which led to nothing. He finally went to "gun.com" and looked at pictures of guns for the whole class.
Had a substitute teacher in high school who didn't know what a mouse was. Our actual teacher had set up a video for us to watch; the cursor was already on the play button, all the sub had to do was click. But he just couldn't comprehend the idea that this little round plastic object could make things happen on the screen.
This isn't that bad, but as a student - whenever the teacher plays a youtube video over the projector and
doesn't set it to fullscreen
leaves the cursor over the bar at the bottom
How is it that they ALL do it??
Zugam ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:51:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I work in a library. As you might know one of our main tasks is helping people out on computers. Not too long ago I was asked by a lady to help her do something online. I had her sit at a computer and asked her to move the mouse to the login button. She proceeded to pickup the mouse and wave it about in the air. Just waving about a foot above the table.
It was honestly shocking i had thought until this point that computers had made it far enough into the public conscious that everyone is
knew you pushed the mouse across the surface of the table. It was an eye opening moment.
Back in the days of dial-up, a guy asked me: "If I get a virus on my computer from the Internet, does the virus stay in the phone cable? So if I connect that phone cable to another computer, will it get the virus also?"
I started to laugh because I thought he was joking but he said in deadpan: "Don't laugh, you know what I mean! Like it [HIV] stays in the needle when someone with AIDS uses heroin!"
To this day I am not entirely sure if he was trolling or simply that stupid...
happened to me. I right clicked on a computer. didn't know what to do and I couldn't find a close button. so I pulled all the plugs and left. was 10 at the time. this happened 8 years ago.
A professor told me he worked for some company and they had this business critical software on some server at a different location. Well, it went down one day, like nothing would come up on the screen, he tried everything he could to help over the phone, but they flew him out there as it was down.
He discovered the cleaning person had unplugged the power strip it was plugged into to vacuum, and then plugged the power strip back into itself. I'd say the fact that no one at the location there could figure that out, is up there in my book.
I recently moved an entire department at work and noticed they all have huge calculators from the 80's on their desk. The next day I show up early to make sure everyone's computer is working as expected and I ask why they have calculators. The answer was they did a lot of simple math so ten key is a must. When I pointed out they all have ten key on their keyboards and can use the built in calculator or Excel the room went silent and they all looked at each other.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:21:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a phys ed teacher in junior high who wasn't very literate in terms of English or tech. He called me over to his office and gave me a paper with a video's thumbnail printed on it.
The dude was trying to print a video to show his class. And he was lamenting the fact that the paper he printed wouldn't play the video.
My stepdad can't browse the internet without going back to his "homepage" in between each site that he visits. They don't know how to use Google, and they don't understand that you can enter the URL directly into the browser to get to a page. I showed them a page, and they were panicked because I tried to go to another site without "touching home base" because they thought they'd get "lost."
Friend has a brother that used to work in support for a call center. Had an older lady call in once complaining that the cup holder on her computer had broken. Turns out she had been using the opened CD tray to hold her coffee cup, and after so much use had finally snapped. I facepalm every time I hear that story.
Used to work in tech support like so many others here.
Me: Okay scroll down to the bottom...
Dumb-dumb: How do I scroll?
Me: Oh. I'm going to need to remote into your system.
mgk2600 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:38:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for tech support a few years back and was setting up a new PC for someone starting the following week. I went to the users desk on Monday to make sure she could log in and get into everything. She sits down, stares at her keyboard and says "oh, this is different. do you have a better keyboard? I am not used to this keyboard" I responded that it was just a standard keyboard, and if she needed an ergonomic one we would order one. She said no, and slowly hunt and pecked her way into the system with the keyboard. Fast Forward 3 days i get a ticket for her. I call her and she says "When I press the A key I get Q, and when I press W I get B" and so on. I go to her desk and find she popped off ALL the keys and placed them alphabetically. I walked away and gave the ticket to a co-worker.
My grandpa got the "Error type 11" message once, and repeatedly typed 11 to no avail for almost an hour...
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:11:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma has Google Chrome, which is her first browser ever (NO internet experience whatsoever.)
Calls me one day screaming that her computer has a virus and she's being hacked and her credit card info was being stolen.
Well, it turned out she had on incognito mode and the little guy in the hat and sunglasses was freaking her out. Apparently this is common with elderly people.
I know probably no one will read this, but when I told my mom we had to change our internet service provider she asked what would happen to her e-mails
j3nnee ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:13:00 on October 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember a student in our computer lab asking me why his document wasn't coming out in color from the color printer but in B/W. I went to check the printer first thinking it might be a toner issue but nothing was wrong. Then I checked his computer he was using and then the scanner... that's when I saw what was wrong. He was scanning a b/w photo and sending it to the color printer.
I was trying to be nice so I said "oh... uhm... it's a b/w photo you're scanning..." and he's like "yeah..."
and I said: "But it's a b/w photo..." very nicely.
and he nods again.
This goes on a few times before I see the light bulb over his head go on and he's like "I'm so very sorry I wasted your time" LOL
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:29:40 on January 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have sat through a meeting where my manager, in MS Paint, had taken a screen shot of an Excel file and was typing in little bits of text in between the cells.
When asked why, he said because he couldn't edit the Excel file because it was in read-only mode.
When told he could save a new copy and edit that one, he said "no, this way works fine."
Dellell ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:06:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my class.... Refused to do her presentation on a computer claiming that iPads are much better for typing... I was ready to kill myself.
My favorite are the clueless businessman types who think that they can look capable by throwing around a bunch of technology keywords just like they do with business, so you hear things like "I'd like to download my cloud to the attachment."
I keep saying there's gotta be a market for private lessons (you go to them) to the supposed smart, older business types who somehow missed the whole computer/tech thing and are too ashamed to admit it.
The unfortunate thing is that many of those types of people have no interest in learning to be more tech savvy, my company offers free training classes (both in person, and online) and many of our "daily callers" flat out refuse to attend them.
That is unfortunate. My brother used to be CEO of a small business. When someone important came to visit, he'd tell his Assistant to 'put something important looking on my computer.' My mother, age 93, told me once that she didn't consider learning to copy & paste worthy of learning (even though myself and my kids had tried to help her learn it for YEARS); I stopped helping her with those kinds of things after that, and so did my kids. She's now forced to pay someone to tell her. I bet she's learned now. I was a pretty high level IT person.
My boss called me at home once because showhow they changed the display setting to flipped and the screen was upside down. Still have no idea how they managed it but walked them through the fix after about 10 minutes.
They probably accidentally pressed CTRL+ALT+down arrow. Any of the other 3 arrow keys will do the same thing. The top of the screen is rotated so that the top of the image is now in the direction of the arrow key pressed
"My computer isn't working!!" Not even plugged in.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:46:19 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Get a call about a blue screen. Take a look and see that mum simply hit Select All on a text document. Click the mouse somewhere in the document and the screen reverts to normal. Ape d 5 minutes explaining the spell I just preformed... Cuz you know being a tech wizard is hard.
Verpous ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:02:00 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not my story, but my mom's. I don't exactly know every detail perfectly, but here goes. It was at a time when computers were new to the general public, and my mom took a course which taught the basics of using a computer. She got the hang of it pretty quickly, but some people didn't. They had some units (floppy disks? not sure, this might've happened before those existed, maybe it was something even older), and the teacher told them to lay them down at the side of the computer. So one student raised his hand and asked which side to place it on, as if that's how you plugged it into the computer.
Another story, this time my brother's story from last year. He's in high school and was in a programming class with his friend, his friend forgot to bring his USB drive and he needed some file my brother had. So what did he do? He asked my brother to save two copies of that file, so he could give him one of them later.
anyway, a few years ago (less than you think) our email database was still kept on a floppy disk for some reason, and one day he asked a volunteer to edit it for whatever reason, but they didn't know how, so he told her to open the file and go in and change some stuff 10 mins later they come back and tell him that it didn't work. Turns out that they physically opened up the floppy disk casing looking for the file, he still has it to this day as a conversation piece
I work at a technology company. I once got sent an email with a Powerpoint presentation attached. The presentation was a single slide with a screenshot of an Excel spreadsheet. Nothing else. I still can't get my head around why they didn't just send me the spreadsheet.
I might be a bit late, but my grandma was typing her email address into the url bar. I took a picture of it.
Xddude ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:49:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Dad told me his ipad was broken and was going to take it back because he couldn't hear any of the audio on YouTube. I drove over and showed him the volume buttons.
My university professor posted the answer to a final exam the night before the exam was supposed to take place. Everyone ended up having to retake the exam by the end of summer, screwing up with everyone's plan.
Watching a new sales person open the cd tray on her laptop and place her coffee cup on it. I watched as the PC Service tech nearly have a heart attack before explaining why it was a bad idea. Then go off when she came to him a few hours later that her laptop stopped working, all while it was dripping liquid on the carpet. She didn't stay long, and not because of that.
My college professor (environmental biology) thought that IT had installed the "safely remove hardware" option just for him because he had corrupted so many "stick things."
Also, my dad thought his keyboard was broken because when he typed, all it showed was "ackstricks," he was typing in the Password field.
In middle school I was waiting for the computer to boot up, so I was moving the little launch screen around the librarian told me to stop it hurts the computer
I was remoted in to someone's computer at work and she was like, "See how my screen's all shaky?" referring to her wobbly monitor. Like what
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:07:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once I rang tech support and asked for a specific email server address. The guy ignored me like twice and began a 5 question history taking process to narrow my problem, I went with the flow. Part of it involved him remote logging onto my computer to type in the email server address himself (lol). Nothing happens for a minute, then my colleague from next door walks in saying "some tech guy just logged onto my computer".
Oh man, I used to work in a computer lab at a public library. I have a couple of stories that belong here.
This one guy was a regular, stopped in daily and asked the types of questions that made it clear he didn't have much experience with computers. No problem, it was my job to help out and I didn't mind. One day he came to my desk and asked what he needed to type into "the binary code part of the computer" to make it do what he wanted. He was clearly frustrated with me not immediately knowing wtf he could be talking about (I knew there was no way anyone in that room was up to speed on anything having to do with binary code - including me) so I asked him to show me what he was talking about. He takes me over to his computer, points at the internet address bar on his screen, and asks again about the binary code. I explain that he's pointing at the internet address bar, and that he can visit a website by typing the website's address there, and gave him an easy example. He looks back at me with extreme disappointment, shakes his head, and says that he guesses I can call it that if I really want to. I wasn't smart enough to help him.
We had this other lady who was in her 90's and was in the process of earning her college degree. She was so awesome, and I loved it when she came in, but she had a really hard time grasping how to use the computer, especially the first couple of times. I didn't witness this, but apparently she tried talking into the mouse like it was a microphone, and then tried to control the pointer on the screen by rubbing the mouse against the screen of the computer. God bless her, I think she did go on to earn her degree.
A kid I went to school with didn't know what shift did or entirely what caps lock did. Or he was just an idiot.
But he would type every capital letter by using caps lock. Including all caps LIKE THIS.
He would press caps lock, a letter, caps lock twice, a letter and so on. It took him forever to type shit in all caps for some reason.
Like I said, maybe he was a idiot but it wasn't a joke because he did it all the time for over 3 months and it took him forever so it wasn't worth the joke.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I think I've met your friend in the YouTube comments.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:21:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some years ago I worked at an appliance parts call center. I was one of the trainers that helped with training new classes of employees. We had one trainee that didn't understand computers at all and could grasp why you had to hit enter after typing a command. She lasted 3 days I think.
This was in the early 90s and we used an AS400 based system and to be fair, many people didn't have home computers at that time so lots of people had never used a computer.
dtuur ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:49:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine's dad was an IT teacher who did repairs on the side. One day he gets a call from a client why can't find the "any key"...
I don't know if it counts, as it feels like one long continuous grievance against me, but my mom has NO clue what she's doing with computers, and she totally used to, she's just lazy:
"can you tell me how to save this picture from my email?"
"I've shown you, every week for the last 10 years"
"lol I forgot"
And all the times I tell her to run her antivirus- she just won't. I don't know why she even HAS a laptop.
Lady complained her computer wouldnt turn on. After some trouble shooting, found out she'd left the computers power cord unplugged as the computer was making strange noises. Apparently unplugging the cord "solved the origional issue"
Being an Information Technology worker, you'll circadian appear above bodies who actually accept no clue what they are accomplishing with technology. Their questions will abrade the hell out of you and their some accomplishments are above any explanation. You ability appetite to leave the planet afterwards witnessing those scenes. Seriously, IT guys ache a lot in such cases. We fabricated a account of the funniest things.Read out the accomplished story!
Had a receptionist complain that the cdrom drive wasn't working. Opened up the case and there were 4-5 CDs lying around inside. She had been putting CD's in the gap between the pieces of plastic that cover the unused 5.25" bays.
My friend thinks that, since I've been on the Internet & using computers since I was 3 years old and I'm really good at graphic designing, that I can hack the internet and shit like that. I explained to him I don't know how to hack but he either doesn't get it or says it as a joke now. My dad used to run his own photo lab for 25 years until last year (Rest in peace Nova Photo) so both my parents have been around computers longer than I've been alive. My dad knows how to do everything but once in a while my mom will need help with something. My grandparents and all their siblings know how to do everything now because of me, but they were never illiterate because my grandpa is extra smarts and figured out how to use a computer all by himself (proud of him!).
EDIT: I forgot, earlier in the school year last year (10th grade), a girl in my geometry class actually said, "social media causes cancer!"
She genuinely thought that you could get cancer from social media like Twitter and facebook. She has social media accounts, too.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:32:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom once tried to comment on my status on Facebook but instead of doing that she just posted on my timeline. Funny part is that the status was from a couple weeks before and it took me a couple minutes to realize what her post was referring to.
About six years ago I was teaching a basic "how to get online and use the internet" class for senior citizens. I knew they had very limited experience with computers so as I was walking them through vocabulary on day one and directed them to "use the mouse to click open the start menu" this old dude is holding up his mouse and pointing it at the monitor like a remote control. "Why innit working?" I contained my laughter save for a little giggle before correcting him. By the end of the six weeks, he was browsing for pickup trucks on local dealership websites.
epitap ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:02:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine was typing something in all caps and for EVERY GODDAMN LETTER HE TURNED CAPS LOCK ON, TYPED THE LETTER, THEN TURNED CAPS LOCK OFF. Haunts me to this day
My fiance's grandmother comes to mind. She will print out emails that she finds funny (talking about stupid pictures or jokes) and then send them in the mail to his family members.
Just a couple of years ago my mom wanted to pause Netflix so we could get some water so I told her, "Just hit the space bar." She replied, "Which one is that?" Mind you that this is the woman who taught me the technique on how to memorize the keyboard. The same woman who had worked in an office, with her own computer, for a decade.
Reoh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:19:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I usually worked account management but the shop front was short handed and I'd been moved over to help out. One of the most breathtakingly beautiful women I've seen came into the store that day.
One of the guys working the front offered to help her out and the rest of us quietly made our way to the next aisle to listen to him making a fool of himself in front of her.
It appeared she needed to acquire a mousepad, and he was showing her the selection when she stopped him and said, "But how do you know this mousepad will be compatible with my Mac?!"
While I can't speak to what his face looked like, credit to him in keeping a professional voice as he explained the situation to her. I'm not quite sure what happened next but she took off running out of the store and never came back.
TLDR: Customer wanted to know how we knew our mousepads were compatible.
Working at a custom-built PCs store at the time, we went to deliver a very basic level PC to a customer. I finished putting the PC together and turned it on, so I tell the guy (with the wife looking over his shoulder) to try and play around with the computer to experience this new fangled windows XP thingy.
So he sits down, stares at the screen and starts moving the mouse, following the cursor with his whole head, like at a tennis match. He eventually ends up at the end of the mouspad and unable to get the mouse ball underneath moving. He struggles at the border of the mousepad in frustration for awhile, until I tell him he can lift the mouse, no problems.
He looks at me with big eyes, looks back at the screen, real close this time, staring at the cursor, while he slowly raises the mouse at arm length, expecting god-knows-what from the cursor on the screen.
In high school (1 or 2 years ago), I removed Internet Explorer from the task bar. I put chrome there instead, the teacher then proceeded to say "where has the internet gone" . The possibly more tech illiterate IT guy reformatted the computer.
I was part of the tech crew at my highschool, so to be fair, almost anytime someones computer "wasn't working", as long as the thing at least got to post, we would just restore the system from a ghost image on the network... Most people don't know how to properly explain the issue, so rather than dick around trying to figure anything out from poor explainations, it was usually quicker and easier to just start the restore, tell them to wait 10 mins until it finishes, then just walk away...
BaeMei ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:31:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
About 5 years ago my teacher, who teaches math, was teaching us the basics of computers. She was struggling with the cord on her mouse and got enraged, took some sissors and cut the cord off. She thought that's how wireless mouse's work. She then got enraged her wireless mouse was out of battery.
All in all I'm sure she wasn't actually that bad with computers she seemed to work really hard and probably wasn't sleeping a whole lot but damn cuh
I got my grandma a laptop so that she can Skype and email her friends and stuff. It took a really long time for her to grasp the whole mouse pointer thing but she finally had that down after 6 months.
That summer she went traveling around Europe and asked if there was an easier option to keep in touch, so we explored to idea of an ipad and she really liked that. "It's much easier to use" were her words.
Fast forward to after having left for europe and she calls me all panicked.
"I think it's broken. There's no mouse pointer anywhere and I can't plug in the mouse either."
You know the standard power plug receptacle on the back of every PC tower since they were first created? Did you know that a USB cable will fit directly in between the positive and negative metal prongs? I had a woman hook her printer to her tower that way. No other cables were connected to either device. When she was shown how to connect the USB cable to the USB port, she said, "Oh, I thought the printer was wireless"
We just put the new chip enabled credit card devices in our stores. We had a MANAGER call the helpdesk because a customer's apple pay wasn't working. When asked what the error was they said, "it's not giving me an error the phone just won't fit to swipe through the machine." What a time to be alive.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:47:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When we got our first computer and had slow dial-up internet, my mother didn't really understand how to use Google efficiently. Instead of looking up the keywords for a specific topic, she would type her lengthy problems into google search, even starting with "Hi" or "Dear Google". Google obviously would never find anything for her searches and often I'd get onto the computer to see her problem typed into google search where she had abandoned it in defeat.
VonBeegs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:49:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Mom sat down at a computer that was on with a sleeping monitor. Hit the power button and sat paitently for about 3 minutes before I saved her.
qx2anon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:50:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not computer but... This old lady at best buy ... Was looking for a land line (wired $10 phone) phone and insisted that it needed to come with a charger
I started working in a call centre when I was 17. At the same time, a local clothes factory had closed down, so I was training with a bunch of seamstresses who'd never really used a computer before. The trainer was telling us to go and click on something or other with the wee mouse. Very basic stuff. One of the seamstresses got all flustered, because the mouse had got to the edge of the mousepad before her cursor had reached its destination. She didn't know that you could just pick the mouse up and move it to the other side of the pad.
I work with a woman who saves literally everything to her desktop, because she assumes that if she doesn't, the file "disappears".
After 10 years, you'd be amazed to see how many things can fit on someone's desktop.
Raxsah ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:59:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a library with public computers. I have many stories though I can't think of many outstanding ones. It's mainly little things like 'what do I do now?' 'Press send' or 'press the big print button' and other things that result from people not really even trying and just relying on the fact that I'm there so they don't have to learn how to do something. One that comes to mind though:
Guy: it won't let me enter my email
Me: sir, that's just your name. Do you have an email address?
Guy: yes, that points to name
Me: an example of an email address would be notes down library email. Do you notice the @ symbol? Have anything like that?
Guy: no
Me: okay, you'll need to sign up with a company who can provide you with an email address, for example -
Guy: can I use this one? points to library email
Me: no, that's for our staff. You'll need one that's unique and personal to you
Guy: can I use my dogs name? proceeds to type dogs name in email section of form he was doing
I can't remember exactly how this ended, but he ran out of computer time not long after and didn't want to pay for extra. I hope he found someone with more sanity to spare and who was better at explaining things than I was. He also wanted to use the name of the town we were in and his actual address at some point.
Once a older lady asked me to fix her computer. I asked her what was wrong, and she said the screen was always black. So I hit the power button on the computer, and the computer started to boot up. She was shocked, and said how did you do that, I have been trying to get this to work for days. I said I hit the power button. "What does the power button do?", she asked. I said it turns on the computer. She than said "Can you show me that again, I didn't know computers had power buttons". The easiest and weirdest computer repair job I ever did.
Little late to the party, but a guy we recently hired at our tech company for IT support asked me "how did you do that thing where the letters go away, but backwards"...
He didn't know what the backspace key did. I was speechless.
sesry ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:10:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma called me and said the buttons on her mouse had disappeared..
I had to drive to her house to rotate the mouse 180ยฐ.
Started a course to learn sql and java, there was this older guy, in his 50s starting the sql course too. we were given a book and told to read it and do the exercises at the end of each chapter and submit them to the teacher. After two weeks, he hadn't submitted anything, and told the guy he had just read the book and know knew sql.
Teacher asked him to try the examples, and he didn't know how to open the sql program. There was an icon on the desktop (windows) and he was single clicking it. We explained he had to double click, and he said he'd never heard of that, as he'd grown up using punchcards. He didn't fare too well on the course. He also routinely fell asleep at his desk, or sometimes didn't turn up because he had slept in all day.
A Military admin chick(i think admin anyway) was complaining about everything about her job. Like times when her supervisor would give her tasks she knew nothing about. Her example for this was trying to download a file onto a CD. She wasn't even sure how to put the CD into the computer. Your saying to can use the Retarted government computers and portals to some degree but cant even put a file on a fucking CD?
Not as crazy as other posts, but people inability to use a search engine just floors me. They'll spend literal DAYS trying to find information on something. Most of the time I keep out of it for a few days in the hopes that they'll find the right way to phrase search terms to locate the information and learn for themselves. Until finally I'm sick of listening to them talk about their "stupid computer" and the "stupid internet", I'll jump on Google, and in less than a few seconds I'll have multiple sources for the info they need. Like I'm a superhero or something.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:38:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I used to play WoW i had Wowhead set up as my home page.
One day I woke up to my mom trying to look stuff up online, she woke me up and said "nothing is coming up online" and noticed she was searching "Yahoo.com" in the wowhead search bar and pulling up no results
"Can I check what operating system you're using?"
"I have no idea."
"Well, do you know if it's a Mac or a Windows device?"
"How do I find that out?"
sigh
OR
"It's Windows"
"Do you know what version?"
"No, there's different versions?"
"Yes, normally it's Windows 7, 8, 8.1 or 10"
"Well how am I meant to know the difference I'm not an IT person!"
At which point I usually resort to "Is there a start button, and if there is, does it look like a square or like a circle?"
Only ever defeated twice by the response "What's a start button?"
This guy we worked with asked if my friend could fix his computer, says it's running extremely slow etc etc. My friend said no problem, bring it to work the next day. This guys shows up with just his monitor. Long story short, he thought the tower was just a huge power source for his monitor, nothing else.
Had a coworker in her late 20's who would turn on caps lock to do a single capital letter and then turn it off to continue writing. She didn't know the shift key had any effect.
Trondar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:56:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in public schools in the IT department. I once got a ticket from a teacher who said that her cursor was jumping all over the screen and she couldn't stop it. When I got to her classroom, I picked up the headphones laying on the 'TAB' key, told her the problem was fixed, and walked away quickly before losing it in front of her.
wuzart ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:07:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I witnessed someone drag the 'Internet Explorer' icon from their desktop into the recycle bin to erase their internet browsing history.
One of the first jobs I ever had involved handling customer documents. Company policy required certain documents to be sent in by fax, or brought in physically to be copied and archived. My job was to deal with the fax option.
One lady who called in could not grasp the fact that a fax machine is not a teleportation device. The document we needed, she said she only had one copy of it, the original, and basically told me that she couldn't trust me to send it back to her.
When i was a teenager, my mom would always get mad at me for sitting in front of the computer on a beautiful day, so she'd see me odd the computer and be like "that's it, I'm turning the computer of right now" and hit the power button.
As soon as she walked away, I would turn the monitor back on and get back to what i was doing
dfnkt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:29:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Used to work at walmart years ago, had a customer come up to me while shoving a mousepad near my face and ask me if this mousepad would work with her computer because she had a mac and she knew that macs were special.
I have a programmer colleague who can barely use a computer. Confused by the start menu, never heard of the control panel, but somehow can program device drivers in his sleep.
thudly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:15:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, to get started, you have to press this button. This turns it on."
"Pressing this is not going to break anything, is it?"
She was honestly terrified that even turning it on would cause it to explode or something. I don't know who started the myth that computers are so complicated and/or easily broken, but they sure didn't help. Probably some nerd who just didn't want people touching his machine.
Then there was my uncle who saved absolutely everything that came in onto his desktop so he could "easily find it later". After about a month the desktop ran out of room to store new items, and he called for help because he couldn't find a file he'd just saved to his desktop. I just made his screen resolution bigger because explaining how to sort things into folders and access them later was too complicated.
esmo88 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:22:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a graphic artist. About once a week or so, I get a copy of a customer's logo attached to an email as a .doc file. People actually take a shitty jpeg of their logo from the internet, put it into a word doc, save it, then attach it to an email.
Ah, yes. The other fun thing is the "vector logo" .ai file, which is actually just several raster images cobbled together in an .ai file for no fucking reason.
esmo88 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:01:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. Also when we say "Can you send us an .eps file instead?" And they send the same .jpeg, but they've just changed the file extension.
jabe25 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:47:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to me recently. A woman had asked me to fix her laptop because it wouldn't come on anymore and she wants all her pictures and letters from a dead relative recovered. I plug the sucker up and find out it's stuck in a boot loop. Tried startup repair and it couldn't even start it up. So I booted in to a Linux live disk. The Windows installation is pretty well screwed up, so I launch a full on 4.5 hour effort to find and recover her precious files before I reload it with a fresh install of Windows 10. I searched and searched over the 50gb worth of files on that 500gb drive and found nary a thing. It was 4AM, so I decided to give up and call her in the morning and ask where the letters and pictures were saved.
The call went as follows.
Me: "Hi Miss ____ it's jabe25. I unfortunately have some bad news. I couldn't find the documents you requested I recover. Is there a save location that you use that I may not be aware of?"
A grandmother of someone I know was once, for some unknown reason, emailed a printsscreen of someone's homescreen. For some other unknown reason she decided to use it as wallpaper on her own homescreen. This was followed by confused calls to her son and nephews with her wondering why so many icons were not working..
Teacher doing a PowerPoint presentation in an assembly, each slide would press ESC to come off the current slide, click on the next slide, then click 'show current slide'
Mine: Grandma wants to upgrade to Windows 10. Do the upgrade, all the updates. Go to re-setup her printer after the upgrade, and I can't find it on her network. Ask her where her printer is, and she shows it to me unplugged in her living room. I ask her where she normally has it plugged in and she says she doesn't...it's wireless. Explain to her that it still needs power, and she panics because even though she hasn't used it in 2 years, if she had needed to use it, she wouldn't have been able to.
GF: She manages the IT for a local bank with four different branches and often asks to get screenshots of error messages emailed to her so she can see what's going on as she's not always at every branch every day. About 50% of the time, she'll get an image created using the Snipping Tool, printed out, then scanned, and emailed to her as a pdf.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:07:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Work in IT. User calls because her company provided laptop isn't connected to her home wifi. Try to explain that her home wifi has a pw she needs to put in. Proceeds to call me stupid and get pissed for 15 minutes. She wants me to remote in and fix it. Explain to her that I cannot remote in until it's connected to the internet. Lady has a fit of rage and throws her brand new, company provided laptop. Boss listens to call, tells her supervisor. She's no longer employed with this company.
AKR44 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:26:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad thinks Yahoo is the internet. If it's not working, nothing on the internet is working. I blew his mind when the site was really slow and I typed in google.
That was the problem with AOL in the 90s, except AOL was intentionally trying to mislead people into thinking that AOL's services were the Internet. So you had millions of unsophisticated computer users logging into AOL expecting to experience the Internet, but were being restricted to only sites and services that AOL was making money off of in some way.
To the rest of us on the web at the time, AOL users were the dumbest people on the planet. But this was unfair. AOL was intentionally misleading them -- outright lying to them -- and when the rest of the Internet and the WWW started to radically outpace AOL's offerings, these people were left behind. So much so that many of them never really kept up with computing trends, and then were lost for years once AOL fell to shit.
Aesir81 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:18:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Executive Director making $150,000+ came to me saying her keyboard didn't work. I walk in, take one look and reply, "that's because it isn't plugged in."
Same woman also came to me saying that her computer was frozen. I show up, she's trying to type an email in Outlook in the background while a dialogue box is open in the foreground.
100% true stories. She had a "computer issue" every other day. Her computer was brand new and worked perfectly. Fortunately for me, I kept a meticulous list of it all that was later used to get her fired for incompetence and mismanagement.
While it pales in comparison to many other stories out there, I have to bring up one of my programming instructors as an example.
I was in a 2nd year, first semester programming course that covered Java 2.0 as an introduction to Object Orientated Programming; C++ was second semester and all of 3rd year. The professors collaborated in setting up standardized instruction between those who taught the course - there was 3 teachers and about 150 students total IIRC. Some did the prep work, others prepared the powerpoints, others did the evaluation.
One professor, I think she did the evaluation mostly, had no idea how to write programs in Java and let her TA answer programming questions. When she was doing a lecture and needed to code something, she copied and pasted it verbatim from the power point slides; 90% of the time it failed to compile because it was only snippets that were on the slides, not full programs.
So yeah... that was our instruction. That, and her bad mouthing the students not in her class. And her coming to class hung over.
Tried changing the user's password to something they could understand. Every attempt to make it kinda secure failed due to mistyping the password, mixing up capital letters and misspelling simple words like "cat".
I finally changed his password to his seven digit phone number. I said "Okay, the password is your phone number, with no spaces or punctuation."
His response: "Okay, my phone number is 867-5309, so that's E-I-G-H..."
Colleague at work, needs to forward photo emailed by customer to another department, takes screenshot of the email containing the photo, pastes the screenshot into a word document then emails the word document
Classic story I heard "from the Internet", a user requested a larger mousepad because they kept running out of desk space for their mouse cursor. They would get to the edge of the pad, but the cursor was somewhere in the middle of the screen and they needed to keep going right.
As a summer internship I worked at a Chicago law firm IT department. About one year prior to me starting the BlackBerry device came out and if you recall, the first blackberry phones were blue. One of the firms partners had an issue with his BlackBerry and I called to let him know it was ready for him to pick up...
Me: "hello sir, I'm calling to let you know that your BlackBerry is ready to be picked up at the IT help desk"
Partner: "my blackberry? I don't have a blackberry. You must be confused, I have a blueberry"
Me: "umm well your phone is ready to be picked up"
Partner arrives at the IT desk and begins talking to the person in charge...
Partner: "I was told my phone was ready to be picked up"
IT guy: "yes, here you go, do you have any questions on how to work your blackberry?"
Partner: "I don't have a blackberry, I have a blueberry, you must be confused"
IT guy: "excuse me?"
Partner: "my blueberry, can I have it"
IT guy: "sir, this is a blackberry"
Partner: "do you think I'm stupid? What color is the phone!?!?"
IT guy: "well it's blue"
Partner: "then why are you calling it a BlackBerry?"
IT guy: "because it is a BlackBerry"
Partner: "are you some kind of idiot? Give me my blueberry"
Partner snatches the phone out of his hand and walks away cursing.
To this day I now refer to all blackberry devices as blueberry devices.
anarae ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:51:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad once tried to print a gif
krat0s77 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:17:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
One time I was at a cyber-cafรฉ, and a man who looked like homeless entered and payed for an hour of PC. He sat down, grabbed the mouse with his 2 hands like it was the holy grail and started moving the mouse wheel with his index finger.
That's the most neanderthal thing I ever witnessed.
Probably the first time he ever saw a computer.
Edit: Words.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:21:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I saw the same behaviour with a CEO of a corporation.
I want to start by saying this user is pretty smart, so I think it is more of a brain fart than an illiterate thing but here goes. Coworker wants to google something, so he opens Chrome, which defaults to google homepage, types google into the search and then clicks the google.com link. He does this every time he wants to search something until I pointed it out.
This will probably never see the light of day: I used to work for an electronics store, much like Best Buy, well, actually, Best Buy bought them.
I had a customer try to return a computer because she claimed it was broken and being one of the resident Techs I was asked to look at it. I inquired why she thought her new computer was broken. She reported that it was not responding to her commands. So, I plugged the computer in and proceeded to try and ascertain the issue. I asked her, after trying to click on different programs and everything seeming to operate fine, to show me what she meant by it "not responding to commands". She proceeds to stare at the screen with a look of frustration/concentration.
Then she exclaims "See I told you! Its not working!"
Me: "But, you didn't do anything..."
Her: "Yes I did I told it to go to the internet"!
Me: "But you didn't touch the keyboard or mouse."
Her: "I shouldn't need to, the sales person told me it was wireless"
Me: "..."
Long story short; she thought that the computer being wireless meant that she could psychically control the computer. I didn't have the heart or the patience to correct her. I just paged her original salesperson.
I don't know what the outcome was as I was crying in the backroom trying to tell the story to my co-workers.
TLDR: Customer thought both she and computer were psychically linked and she forgot to pair the 2.
My parents both take notes of every step of every action they need to take when I show something to them. They think it's some kind of magic move instead of understanding the basic logic behind it. If you want to open your e-mails you have to do THIS rain dance and if you want to open a picture you have to do THAT rain dance. Me and everybody else could not make them understand that right clicks always make a menu pop and left click always select the thing you click.
My dad wouldn't let me plug my ethernet cord into his router because he was afraid I would fuck up his internet service
ZemTM ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:28:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a computer teacher that thought I was "hacking" by having a task manager open on the performance tab.
Roll3d6 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:49:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did computer repair for a few years and one of my customers was an elderly retired man. He had the wits to know that he needed to backup his files, but not enough smarts to know that some streaming radio stations carry malware. So when his home computer bogged down I get the call to clean it up.
3,600 PUP's and Trojans later his machine is as good as new. About 2 months later I get another call from this gentleman and he says his laptop is now bogging down. OK, I can fix that too. 2,800 PUP's and Trojans this time, but the job is done and he is happy.
Like clockwork, 2 months pass and I'm getting a call from him AGAIN saying the desktop is acting up again. This time, I made a house call to figure out what's going on.
As it turns out, he would backup his infected computer before turning it over to me and then put the backup on the remaining computer while I worked on the first one. As soon as I clean one up, he was backing up the crappy one and here we go again.
I have one that's not so much illiterate, but simply a sign of the times:
My grandma had never had a laptop before, and she came to me about ten months after buying one, thinking it was faulty. She said that when she tried to type something into a search bar or what have you, it would type there for a few letters and then stop, and she'd have to click it again to continue typing. I used this laptop a lot and never ran into this problem, and none of my friends or anyone else who used it, including her other granddaughter, who was eleven at the time.
One day, I decided to watch her type, as an idea had come to me about what was happening. And sure enough, it happened again while she was trying to search an image for me. I asked her, "Now, we both know you're pretty old (haha), and it occurs to me that for typing, you were trained on a typewriter. What is the first rule they give you about hand/finger placement with a typewriter?"
"Keep your thumbs on the space bar, why?"
"Look down."
She did so. Since the keys on a typewriter are more spaced out than a modern keyboard, habit had placed her thumbs at the very top edge of the trackpad. She was periodically clicking the trackpad out of her typing box. For ten months.
We had our laugh about it and it gives me one more generational difference/funny bright idea story for me to spout when trying to impress chicks at the bar.
TL;DR If you were trained to type on a typewriter, hold your thumbs up when you type on a laptop.
Not the worst thing I've ever seen but I am pretty disappointed in myself right now. I was trying to figure out why I was stuck at the bottom of the page. Every time I tried to scroll up it would jump right back to the bottom. I tried different tabs, different apps, nothing. I closed out Chrome and reopened it...
and the cursor started magically progressing across the address bar. I looked down and my phone was sitting on top of my space bar.
gorkt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:02:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother in law didn't understand the idea of double clicking the mouse. She would try to double click like "Click (pause for 5 seconds)-click"
Honestly you're comparing two completely different intelligences. These are people who went to school for medicine, and until 20 years ago everything was done on paper. Paper charting is a lot more work for people who are computer proficient and it's so wasteful, but for someone who can write faster than they can type, and who had to learn to chart and contact doctors one way in their youth and relearn a whole new system in their 40's after decades of doing it one way, it's like learning to ride a motorcycle after only ever riding a unicycle.
It's totally unfair to judge nursing or doctor ability to treat a patient by their computer abilities. For hundreds of years medicine didn't involve computers, and for the formative part of their education and career, they didn't have to set passwords and type and navigate virtual menus for things that used to be available plainly labeled in filing cabinets. One of my coworkers was a doctor before immigrating to America, but didn't want to go back to med school here so is the best nurse. If I were on death's door she would be the one I'd want running the show. She saves lives constantly and she tells the doctors what to do for patients because she is sharp as a tack, but she needs help finding things when they do a system update and the menus changed, or any error message appears. And she has gotten faster at typing but still does it with two fingers and backspaces through sentences. And that's true for most of my older fellow nurses. They may not know what the "ctrl" and "num lock" keys do but they sure as shit know what to do to save a life when someone is trying to die. They'll be at work an hour or two late catching up with documenting on the computer but the patient will be stable thanks to them.
My crazy aunt harrassed and haraunged my poor mother to email her a picture of my new baby girl this summer. She said she had a Father's Day gift planned. So my mom takes a picture sends it to her via email.
Weeks after Father's Day the gift arrives. Not a nice framed picture or a World's Best Dad mug. No no no...
My aunt had opened the email.
Took a picture of the screen with her own camera.
Printed this picture out at Walgreens.
Stuffed the awful, grainy picture in an envelope with nothing else, no card, no letter, and sent it to me.
When I was doing a part time job doing small tasks and such at a company, one of the desk workers didn't know copy and paste. She was typing things off of one column and entering them into another column in excel. When I taught her how to do that with CTRL+C, CTRL+V, she thought I was a computer god.
rmzalbar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:15:51 on November 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I've been involved, to varying degrees, in software tech support via phone and/or screen sharing since 2002. I've got a million of them.
My customers are in the mortgage loan business, typically in highly compensated, computer-centric data analysis roles. Here's just one that pops to mind (I've actually experienced this many times in slight permutations)
(on XP) Please click Start. Start, the green button that says START on it at the lower-left corner of your screen. Down. Left. Your other left. Put your finger ON the screen. Slide it left until it stops. Slide it down until it stops. Pick it up and read to me the word that was covered by your finger. "Start." Yes. Click that. "Click START?" YES.
I take the same sort of pride in my work that special education staff do.
GarethPW ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:53:24 on January 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend ask me once why there was such a large gap between two of his paragraphs in publisher. He'd pressed enter roughly ten times and failed to see why he was having the issue...
My teacher just typed "www.google.com" into Bing and called Google Chrome a "search engine"
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:01:02 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Few years ago cousin called no sound on pc. "Always start with easiest to fix" that's my philosophy so I recommend making sure the speakers are plugged in to pc and wall she says yes we carry on no fix after I hang up your father lights into me telling me I'm insulting my cousin. Ten minutes later she called back wasn't plugged in
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:09:56 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my old electronics instructors worked for an it company back in 80s he would have to drive 5 hours to.a business with a service Contract usually for . something trivial, one time he likes to tell his pc repair class they called in a bad monitor he drove 4 hours walked in turned the brightness up and then left
Worked for a company that went bankrupt. We literally had to leave the premises on a Monday morning, but we were told we would have a chance to come back on a later date and collect some of our stuff as it was being bought out by another company. So one of our salesman proceeds to wrap tape around his phone, like several layers round that tapes the receiver to the body of the phone. So someone asks "Bob, what the hell are you doing?" He says he wants to make sure no one gets into his voicemail and listens or erases any of the messages any customers might leave in case they call looking for him in the next few days.
NORM_RN ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:24:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is actually making me aggressive right now...
A manager at work keeps referring to his "U.P.S." port (instead of his USB port) - yet he has the temerity to instruct others about tech.
Robseth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I used to work with a tech about 15 years ago who also used to mangle the english language a la Norm Crosby/Damon Wayans. He was really good at fixing older printers and not much else, however. As I was helping him out one day, he asked me to get him a "magna" cartridge. Thinking this was some sort of magnetic attachment, I asked to tell me what it looks like as I was having problems locating one. He says, "You know what I'm talking about, the pink one!"
He wanted a magenta toner cartridge.
phed99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:15:19 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My father used to ask me to help him when he was having trouble with his computer. Helping him fix his computer consists of me standing behind him and randomly clicking on things until I tell him to stop.
_PSP_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:27:50 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A colleague asked the IT department to send a technician to his office to set up a zip file.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:13:33 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone had used this guy's computer before he came into work, and that person forgot to log out. Instead of just going to the menu and choosing "log off" or even turning the computer off and back on , he called IT and sat on hold for 30 minutes so they could tell him to do those things.
A coworker was trying to export a map from some GIS software. I was sitting opposite, so I couldn't see his screen. Trying to give instructions. Unfortunately we kept getting stuck on "click file, then export" so I went round to his desk to see why export wasn't an option in his file menu. Somehow he'd managed to take a screenshot of the mapping software, paste it into a word document and was now navigating the Word menus looking for mapping options.
The CEO of the business I work for did a presentation with his laptop in a meeting room, when he finished he went back to his office and called me (IT Support) to say his computer wont turn on. When I get their his docking station is missing the laptop, which was still in the meeting room.
Akruhl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:39:50 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend (16) always goes to www.google.com and then types the website adress into the google search bar.
I have so many stories from my grandmother, but this one has to stand out the most.
I had just gotten out of work and my grandmother calls me FRANTIC. Says I need to show up ASAP because shes trying to print something important and it's not printing. I reluctantly rush up to her house and she explains that it stopped because the printer ran out of paper and she shows me how she replaced the paper but her stuff still wasn't printing.
Looked at the computer screen and the dialogue exclaiming she was out of paper was still up, so I pressed "retry" and sure enough, it worked.
My mom picked up the receiver to the phone and dialed the number on the computer keyboard over and over and could not realize why the phone was not ringing.
Poli Sci professor in a dictatorship class wanted to show us a speech by Hitler.
He first starts by gliding the mouse over the taskbar, ignoring Chrome and Firefox to press the start menu and click on Internet Explorer from there. He then types just Google in the address bar and presses enter. He arrives at Bing because of IE so he clicks on Google from Bing.
Then he typed in 'YouTube Hitler Speech's and got to a video from Google.
Many years ago in a community college into to computer basics type of course (I forget the actual course name, it was a prerequisite for the Microsoft Office courses), this older lady had received a laptop for Christmas and took the course so she could learn how to use it.
One point in the course we were told to print an assignment at home and clear the floppy disks before next class... Well the lady leaned over to me and asked what cleaner I used. I didn't understand, and she explained that she used regular windex to clean her floppy disk. I nicely told her that "clear" meant "erase". "Clear" was bad terminology on the instructor's part and not explained well for the first time computer users. The lady was trying though. I helped her many times throughout that course and hope she was able to use her laptop eventually.
weedrea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:53:12 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone in my work uses the mouse rotated at 180 degrees. Quite a skill - up is down, left is right. Apparently they were taught that way!
I saw a guy try to magically copy/paste text from one computer to another. Like he pressed ctrl+c on a laptop and then pressed ctrl+v on his desktop keyboard, and was baffled that the text didn't transfer. This was like 2011 and the guy was under 50.
I saw a guy mashing in a floppy into a CD drive, needless to say that cd drive was FUBAR after that.
I've seen a lot, working as a sysadmin and tech manager I've had the dspleasure of seeing too much
In my high school tech class my friend and I were screwing around by closing each others tabs by pressing alt+W. The teacher found out and decided I was hacking the school and I got reported to the principal. She also notified all my other teachers so that was fun
I worked for a company that sold ILFD's as first line support (basically tv screens with computers built in that are touch screen).
A school bought one of our screens and they rang up complaining about being sold a dead unit as it wouldn't turn on or respond to anything.
Spent 20 mins on the phone getting them to plug in the power cable. Spent another 40 mins convincing them to press the ON button because they were afraid the screen would blow up.
Funniest support call I have ever had to deal with.
My mom once tried to plug her iPod shuffle into the Disk Drive open button. After jiggling it around and trying to make it fit, the tray slid open and she screamed.
(I got her a shuffle because I figured the fewer buttons, the better.)
Something I am certain we are all guilty of: clicking on an ad with some promise of computer enhancement or a prize.
Please parents, download an ad-blocker add on for any browser (from the browser's add-on/plug-in/doohickey shop) that anybody under 14 is able to access.
My dad was trying to instruct my grandpa how to fix something with his computer on the phone. At one point, my dad told him to close all windows. My sweet, sweet grandpa stood up and closed every single window in his house and got back on the phone.
New hire didn't know how to turn on her computer. This was after she'd been working in another department for nearly a year. She didn't last long with us. I think she was capable of working in my department but completely lacked any motivation to learn basic computer skills.
Me - This key here. With the little green light. It says caps lock.
lervein ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:33:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lady I work with came to me complaining that the meeting room lap top isn't working. She's all flustered and tries showing me what's wrong. She's puts the cursor of a link and repeatedly presses the space bar, looking at me in desperation, "see, nothing!"
I smiled and showed her where to actually use the clicker on the track pad. She sighed and left.
my dad still thinks his email is "on his computer" or "on his phone".
hes only like 60, not stupid, just no clue with these things. his work gave him a laptop and smart phone and showed him the few buttons to do the basics.
he had no idea he could have his email on his phone and laptop, cause it was not ON any of his devices. i cant believe he never just realized it worked that way by simply seeing the same things in both places.... good ole dad.
kalgary ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:13:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Old bitch at my work makes invoices. On the left side is the 'bill to' and on the right side there is a 'ship to'. Usually they are the same place. But often I see a typo like XYZ Corporation on the left and XZY Corporation on the right. She is literally typing everything. Does not know how to cut and paste.
She also showed me that you can use Excel to double a number. Enter the starting number in A1. In A2, enter "=A1*2", and it will double it! Amazing.
Of course she makes 2x what I make. I think she gives sexual favours to some old guy at the executive level. Definitely a double digit IQ.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Double digit you say? Lucky her. Wish I that smart!
I had a science teacher who liked to show the class videos. When he wanted to look something up he would search for YouTube, click on that, click on the youtube search bar, then type something like,"youtube videos of ranger bass boat commercial song" or something like that. He never pulled them up before class so there was always that painful minute or two of watching him go through this whole process.
my friends mom thought that her computer actually had a virus when a pop up came on, he had to explain that the computer pop ups were just people scamming them.
Finally a good one for me...2 executive assistant at a place I worked. One phones me and asks for computer help and says the other one is having issues too...
I get up there, check their screens
Executive assistant 1: typing a letter in excel
Executive assistant 2: making an inventory tracking table on word
I work in sales at a software company. Our product is very high tech electrical engineering software. The coworker is 40+ years old. He asked me to help him find some info in a document. I told him to use the F3 key to search the document. He hesitates then hits the "F" and the 3 key at the same time. I tell him no, the Function three key. he hesitates and does it again. I show him the key, explain what it does and we continue on. Not 30 seconds later I ask him to hit "F3". He hesistates a moment then presses the "F" key and then the "3" key. This man makes twice what i do.
I used to work for a small computer repair shop that occasionally helped elderly people with their computers.
I helped an older couple (but not that old, maybe 60s?) learn how to use a mouse. Neither of them had ever even touched a mouse before. It took them a while to get the hang of moving around the on-screen cursor via a physical object.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:55:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every apple product, apple, the hardware company. Have you seen apple hardware on the inside?
I work in the Digital department of my company. I ask a writer to go to one of our own sites to look at a page. Instead of going directly to our site, he did the following while I watched in horror:
Opened chrome > searched for Google.com > searched for our website.
Separately, my dad used to run daily tune ups on the family computer (maybe unnecessary, but not bad) but would also manually run the Memory defragmenter and refused to believe me when I told him how pointless that was when he turns off the computer.
I've got more stories with him like this but I like the guy so I'm not going to completely trash him.
He would shut the computer off when he was finished at night, but didn't believe me that memory didn't save. I think the computer had a slow HDD so he was looking for different ways of speeding the computer up.
An accounting lady I know frequently needs to send PDF invoices and other documents to various people.
She receives the documents in PDF format via email, prints out the PDF, scans in the PDF to her computer, attaches the PDF to email and sends out.
My grandmother, bless her heart, asked me to come back inside as I was getting ready to leave. I had just set up her first ever desktop computer, and apparently it was doing something weird on the screen now.
I go back inside, move the mouse, and explain to her what a screensaver is...
I got a call from a woman saying something is wrong with her computer, she'd turned it off, but it was clearly still on - because her monitor was smoking.
Everyone else had left for the day so I went up to see what she was talking about. Sure enough, her fucking monitor was smoking. She then informs me that she'd turned the computer off after the screen went black.
So I unplugged the damn thing and I generally looked around to see if there was any obvious problem, but I had no idea why the hell her monitor was smoking.
Then I looked at her. She's standing there worried holding this little flower pot...and it's dripping.
She kept the damn thing on top of her monitor and watered it every night before going home.
I will grant that this was the late '90s and she was older and unfamiliar with computers...but seriously?
I mean, water + electronics = bad shit, has been known for a while now, right?
They bought her a new bigger screen to replace it. Brilliant.
K8E4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:07:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A new coworker of mine was back and forth to the photocopier all day. The next day she asked me "K8E4, this is the best way to do this, right?" She had a bunch of word documents that she needed in PDF format. In order to achieve this she was printing them and then scanning them back to her email
SELSHRT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:22:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a sales guy who worked for me once who used a nice 24" oled second monitor as a fucking literal bulletin board while working only on his MacBook Air screen. He taped post it 'to-do's' all over and even tucked prospecting business cards between the screen and monitor bezel.
No. Not kidding. Just unreal. Yeah he got let go.
233C ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:38:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
there will come a time when we will all be the butt of the joke.
don't know if this counts but i was trying to play xcom 2 but i was worried about the heat coming from my GPU, considering my PC is in the living room where my family ALLWAYS! cranks the heater upto max i decided to take my PC into my room and strap a desk fan to the top of my PC and open the window
anyway my pop was trying to explain how i was wrong and i didn't know what i was talking about when i have to turn the TV on for him everyday because "it's too complicated"
I was at a university computer lab in 1989. At the time, students would boot the PC's with a floppy disk and save documents on the floppy disks. This chick sat down next to me and, after contemplating her dilemma for far too long, she finally folded her 5.25" floppy disk in two and jammed it in the 3.5" slot. She was dumbfounded as to why the computer would not boot.
My dad got a computer in 1987. He'd never seen anyone use a mouse before so he started using it upside down. He says he pictured holding a mouse with the tail towards the palm of his hand. Anyway, 30 years later he still uses the mouse upside down. Whenever I try to troubleshoot over the phone and I say "right click" he'll ask, "my right click or yours?" It drives me nuts.
DL6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:13:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Used to work at GS... so many stories!
Once a guy came in with a virus on his machine. But he didn't know what that meant. I tried to explain it to him, which only made him more upset. So he then demanded that "they" shut down the internet until they get it cleaned up. I attempted to explain that there is no way to shut off the internet, and there will always be malicious people. He looked at the other employees as though I was making this all up. Then he just took his computer and left.
As a mobile tech support agent, I pulled up to a house and walked up to the front door. As it sometimes happens, the home owner, a younger guy, opened the door before I got to the entrance and welcomed me in without saying much. I introduced myself and I asked where the computer was and he looked at me strangely, and said, "upstairs" with kind of a weird accent.
I went upstairs and he showed me the computer. It was old, completely disassembled, scattered throughout the room. I thought, "Well, this is going to be interesting." He headed down stairs leaving me in the bedroom.
Something just didn't seem right since the computer was missing major components, plus the guy was giving off a weird vibe, so I grab my bag and head downstairs.
He's standing in the front entrance way on the phone.
Again, in his strange accent, he says, "Mom, the computer guy's here..."
Even from six feet away, I hear the person on the other side SCREAMING, "Who's in the house?!"
The look on the guy's face is utter confusion and he hands me the phone with her still screaming. I then realized something is way wrong and as I put the phone to my ear I hear the trembling, terrified voice of a mother, who is at work, scared to death because someone is in her home. I try to explain I'm there to fix the computer, but she doesn't understand. Then it hits me.
I pull out my paperwork and ask her if the address is hers...and it's not. I'm in the wrong house with her mentally disabled son who coincidentally opened the door to their house the moment I'm walking up. I bounced the fuck out and prayed she didn't come hammer on the door of her next door neighbor who was my real appointment.
First and only time I ever got an address wrong.
DL6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:42:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once had to show a lady how to use the mouse. She didn't understand that was how you move the cursor, or that you can click on things.
She was a very nice old lady. Someone had convinced her she must have a computer. I asked her what she wanted to use it for, she had no idea.
So I told her she probably shouldn't buy one. If she was interested, she should attend some of the free senior classes in town.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:57:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma picking up the mouse and pointing it at the screen.
I walked into the office one day and saw my coworker on the phone with IT. Apparently there was a problem with the computer. They had asked her go ahead to turn it off and turn it on again and after watching her turn the monitor on and off I informed her that they meant the tower. To which she replied,"that's too small to be a tower. "
My mistake I guess
My mom bought a keyboard so she could use it at her new job. the same day she brings said keyboard to work, hee supervisor ends up getting a virus on her own computer. The small business goes on lock down while the computers are all checked and cleaned. Sees that my mom has a different keyboard, and assume that that is the culprit.
I work at an apartment complex with minimum rents at $1200 for a one bedroom, and around our area the absolute lowest rent you can find is about $950. An older man came into our office once looking for a place with a price limit of $500. You could tell he was definitely homeless and had been so for some time. My manager wanted to help him out a bit and suggested he look for a roommate, and told him he could try Craigslist and we'd let him use our computer for a bit to do so. After hearing that, any hope immediately drained from his face and he said "I would do that, but I don't know how to read." :(
Not only computer illiterate, but actual illiterate.
My mum got a new laptop and turned to me and said "oh can put Netflix on my laptop?" I wasn't sure if she was kidding but then I explained to her that it was a website
vuuv95 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:55:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just today at uni, my lecturer wanted to make the PowerPoint bigger for us all to see but instead of clicking slideshow, he minimised the sidebar that showed all the slides to enlarge the PowerPoint slide. No one corrected him :/
I know I'm really late here and this will probably get buried but here goes..
Our college was making some infrastructural upgrades to all the classrooms and one of them was installing projectors in all classes. So the teachers all had problems initially getting used to it.. hooking it up, settings and all that.
Then this lady comes along to take class and for some reason, the projector image is slightly tilted. So instead of asking someone to manually adjust the projector, she proceeded to tilt the laptop to correct it.
We hired a "Oracle DBA" once, she didn't know what the Start Button in Windows was. Barely knew how to use a pc. Now, did she get fired for lying on her resume? Nope, they made her a developer in stead. She's now one of their top developers. (Everyone better has left and been replaced by shittier)
DGD11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:28:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here's a story about me that I feel like in a few years might end up on the internet.
I have a touchscreen laptop, and I have had one for about 4 years. I use the touchscreen non-stop, sometimes not using the mouse for anything for hours. Well, one day I'm at the school my mom works at and this little girl (probably about 7) asks me for help with something on the computer (an old school computer with one of those huge white monitors). I start trying to scroll with my finger and as I'm getting visibly frustrated I tell her the computer must just be frozen. So she takes the mouse and moves the cursor and looks at me like I'm the dumbest person alive. I still to this day feel like the dumbest person alive for that.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:34:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll play.
Work ski resort. Have tablets that are rugged, weather proof etc.
Go to lifties.
Liftie has problem... Tablet Frozen.... She takes the tablet to the hut and.... Puts it on.... The.... Heater...
Because the application was frozen...... The tablet needed heating up.....
Now instead of chuckling the manager says to me, "can you make sure all the tablets are good, some sites do not have huts w heaters"
Now there are two people standing in front of me, trying to warm up a tablet to fix a software "freezing" issue.
My brain froze, it was so stupid I couldn't laugh.
It was so stupjd nothing has seemed stupid since....
My FIL is coming to visit us in a few weeks. He will have to do some work from our place during his visit. He called to ask if he could give out my husband's email address so his clients could reach him while he is here. My husband (who works in IT support) asked him why couldn't use his own email address. Apparently he thought he could only access his email from his home computer.
F9 is the "look up" key you press in our company's computer interface to list relevant words/codes you can click on to fill whatever field you're typing in. Coworker was orienting a middle aged woman to work as a secretary. He told her to press F9. She pressed F then 9. Little bit later, when she got the hang of the F9 key, one of the times he told her to "look up" while they were entering something, instead of pressing F9, she took her hands away from the mouse and keyboard and looked directly up at the ceiling.
My father, with a new iMac, deleting the /Library and /users/Library folders shortly after first boot as those folders were "full of books I'll never read."
My fiancee's mother saw that she was a little out of frame on a Skype call with us. Instead of titling the screen down, she went and changed into high heels.
Lets start by ignoring the fact that I have a contract which says I charge a $25 per page nuisance fee if clients send me a document as a PDF instead of doc, docx, odt, or txt...
Lets also ignore the fact that the document was 300 pages long.
Lets just focus on them sending it password protected, being unable to find the password, sending it again from a colleague's computer in the same corporate headquarters because it opened fine on that machine, being asked to send as a doc, not sending as a doc, and sending two more times from two more coworkers' computers over a 10 day period before they finally found the password.
MystX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:30:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like everyone else here I'm the family unpaid tech fixer.
So I'm at a family bbq and I get the "Oh MystX I have a problem you might be able to fix..." yaaaaayyyy
This guy had a laptop with some of those touch sensitive buttons. You know where there's a button for mute or screen brightness or whatever - there was also a long strip you slide your finger along to increase or decrease volume.
The problem was, the laptop opened a new excel spreadsheet for every increment of that touch-sensitive slider. If you slid your finger from one end to the other the thing opened like 50 spreadsheets. It was glorious.
I basically noped the fuck out and told them I didn't know how to make a laptop do that even if I wanted to.
Tried to explain to my 85 year old nan about how the cloud worked and how she could see photos that we shared to her. Her response was 'can pilots see my photos?!'... I gave up after that
Mehnard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:50:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
While teaching a class on basic computer skills, I watched an old woman pick up her mouse to move the arrow towards the top of the screen.
We were receiving instructions for new software we were using. Pretty simple stuff, and PDFs were included with instructions. I get a call from HR asking me a few questions since I understood it. HR didn't quite understand what the PDF was. They thought the company logo on the PDF would take them to the appropriate website. I took some explaining and a lot of holding back laughter to explain that what they were clicking was just a logo.
I used to work for an ISP, and in this case it was through the phone line. Guy phones in, Internet down. I go though it all, checking modem lights, checking ADSL filters, trying the main telephone socket (he had to clump his computer downstairs for this). Nothing. I tested the phone line, inconclusive. Sometimes means an issue. I'm stumped, and then the 20-minute call limit chimes as we're a premium rate service, and so I ask for a number to call him back on. He says a mobile number, so I ask for his land-line curious to know if I can hear noise on the line. I can't call him on the landline he says, the phone company are outside digging up the road so he's had to use his mobile.
One other one - lady calls in, Windows xp, loads of advert windows popping up so needs help working out what's causing it. I tell her to close all the windows for now. Silence. She comes back out of breath - she's closed all the windows in the house.
Waaaaay too late but here goes. My buddies parents were in their 60's when email exploded and became popular. His mother had an email account but really didnt know how to use it and was terrified of hitting a button and completely ruining the computer. So she would write longhand letters and have her husband take a photo of the letter, and then the father would email those. So my buddy would get massive files of pictures of a handwritten letter.
satysin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:25:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a very large company years ago and all of us in the IT department had to help with a couple of helpdesk tickets every now and then to "stay connected" with the users.
Anyway my story... I had a helpdesk ticket that "I need more pages in Word" from some middle aged woman. So I slowly get up from my comfy office chair and wonder round thinking something is wrong with Word. Turns out she thought Word had a limited number of pages and that she had to put her old documents in the Recycle Bin so Word would "have more pages". So she opened up a document in Word and looked at how many pages were in the document then make a note of it on a piece of paper and delete the document. She kept doing this until she had "freed up" enough pages for what she needed.
So the document she was working on was going to be more pages than she had available in all of her documents on the computer. So she was freaking out and raised a Sev1 ticket. I had to explain to her with a straight face that Word has limitless pages. How she had been a PA (of sorts) for 20 years I have no idea.
My favourite was when somebody's personal printer was only producing blank pages. The paper would come through just fine, but with no words on it. I eventually identified the issue: the document she was printing contained no words.
vtron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:44:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm too late to the party, but I'll share anyway.
We wrote a test procedure for a widget we designed and wanted to make sure it could be followed by someone without much technical knowledge. So we asked Sue, our most technically illiterate coworker, to go through the procedure. The first step was something like, "plug supplied USB cord into computer." She somehow plugged the USB connector into the ethernet port and proudly proclaimed that she completed step one.
We found someone else to go through the procedure. It went much better.
Andor86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:57:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in 4th grade (90's), we had a single amiga 500 per class room. One particular day our slightly past middle aged teacher attempted to show us something on the computer. She starts by lifting the mouse into the air and waving it around, expecting the cursor to move.
My sister, 15 years old, doesn't know how to create a new folder, because "the IT teacher prefers to focus on making presentations and painting her own nails". I didn't really dig into the subject, but probably that's one of many things she can't do.
And you tell me her generation is not computer illiterate
It was in eighties... Time of MSDOS, dialup modems and 5-1/4 diskettes...
I worked for an outfit who produced internal and external modems for PCs and we've developped a program helping people doing file transfert over dialup connections... Kind of Kermit but with slick Gui... There was a mode of bulk transfert of all diskette contents over dialup connection, called 'Disk transfer'.
So one evening i'm late in the office and the tech support phone is ringing. I'm not doing tech support, but the bug i was chasing proved really nasty one, and i wanted to clear my head, so i answered...:
Customer: Hello i need urgent help with your file transfer program...
Me: Ok, go ahead describe me what happens.
Customer: I'm trying to use the 'Disk transfer' function,
i follow the on screen instructions, when instructed i insert my diskette,
and wait for 'Transfer complete message' to appear.
Me: Ok, so the 'Transfer complete' message does not appear?
Customer: Oh no, the message does appear....
Me: So what's wrong? It seems to work perfectly.
Customer: BUT THE DISKETTE IS STILL HERE!!!!!
Admicos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:54:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friends kept writing '' (two single ones) instead of " (double) on Excel and complaining about "y u no work" and the teacher and i was like "How did you even manage to get here?"
My mom and dad fell for one of those "YOUR COMPUTER MIGHT HAVE A VIRUS! CLICK HERE TO FIX!" pop-up ads that appear from time to time.
While I expect this from people who aren't knowledgeable around computers and the dangers associated with venturing into the wild internets, this caught me completely off guard, as both of them are completely tech-savvy. They are the ones who taught me how to use a computer back when I was a kid to begin with.
They proceeded to not only buy the software the ad showed (some random ass malware posing as anti-virus), but they also got on a call with "costumer support" and provided some dude over on Portugal called "Manuel" with all their email login dada and credit card numbers.
I spent the next hour wiping their PC clean of the malware and traces of it while also trying to change all their passwords before the Manuel guy on the other side had a chance to do it himself and hijack their accounts. I finally told them to cancel their credit cards and went down to do something else.
A few minutes later my mum just comes down with her phone on call
"Hey, Manuel from the software company just called, he wants to know if we can give him the new email password so he can set up our super anti-virus".
TL;DR:
Tech-savvy parents fall for pop-up ad, end up giving their email passwords and credit card info to some dude called Manuel. Manuel later calls wondering why parents (me) changed their passwords and if he can have them.
EDIT: I know you are reading this Manuel. I'll fucking find you.
Every folder in a tree, then closes them all down after she has opened the document she's looking for.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:38:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An ex member of staff in my family's small business couldn't insert images into a word document so she printed the document and the images and then glued them together and finally scanned that through and emailed that. Whole process took her about 40 minutes. Notice how I said "ex".
paross ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:42:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at the Apple Store once. There was a tech helping this older lady learn how to use her new computer in a "One-To-One" training session.
They are supposed to teach using the socratic method, so they never do anything for people. The tech said something like, "Okay, now that we have your computer set up, let's take it for a test drive. Use your mouse and click on that blue face at the bottom of the screen".
The older lady physically picked up the mouse and tapped the screen with it. She had no idea about input peripherals. None.
When my mom first started using the Internet, she received an email from someone with a long link. One of those URLs with many random characters. Instead of clicking on it, or even just copy/pasting, she was writing the entire length of the URL down on a piece of paper and planned to then type it into the address bar. I was tempted to let her keep going and see how long it would take, but I couldn't sit by and watch...
Older women at work printed out a 30 page excel and manual added every number with a calculator, she would then staple the calculator tape to the 30 page document and file away, I now have a file cabinet full of 10 years of these documents
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:08:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I saw a Tanzanian nun once write a letter by hand and then try to feed it Into the cd drive to email it.
I worked for an electrical retailer when I was younger (maybe 15 years back now). We sold a middle-aged woman a computer and I was sent to install it for her.
Got it all out and plugged in, and she asks if I can show her the basics of how to use it (assuming because it was a new OS for her or something). I tell her "ok, first things first use the mouse and click on the start button"... She lifts the mouse, places it on the monitor and tries to move the cursor..
I've worked in IT for the 14 years since and never seen anything this bad.
I once worked as a network administrator/tech support in a small college.
I once had a guy call me because his floppy disk drive wasn't working. He couldn't stick a disk in there. I went over to his building and found the problem was that there was already a disk in the disk drive. It wasn't jammed or anything he just didn't eject it first.
About a week later he called me again and said his disk drive was broken. I asked him if there was a disk already in there. He said no. I asked him to push the eject button, he said he did and nothing happened. So I walked over, there was a disk already in his floppy disk drive.
This guy was one of the computer science teachers.
My mother got an iPhone for Christmas. She had a flip phone that didn't take pictures before that, so figuring out the phones camera was an adventure.
She told me, "every time I press the round button to take the picture, the app closes. Is it broken? I asked her to try taking a pic of my cat to see wtf she was on about.
I do tech support for an older gentleman who keeps calling me with reports that he "can't get the internet to come up at all".
Each time I log into his PC (thank goodness for remote access) the problem is that he has accidentally zoomed IE all the way out and his yahoo mail is a tiny speck in the upper left corner.
We then go through the process of clicking on gear/zoom/100% and he takes careful notes....then I receive the same call a couple months later.
working for a prepaid credit card company and had to continuously explain to customers that the address bar is not the same as the search function of webpage.
side note fraudsters figured that people were doing this and made a fake site to steal card information.
Had a professor who was teaching a computer hardware class. This was back in like 2004. I had been in IT for several years but just gone back to get formal education on it, because companies seem to put more weight into that. Already had numerous certifications, but whatever. During a discussion he tells me he is having problems with his CD Rom and that it wont open. Hes afraid something is stuck. I mention that if he brings it in I will be happy to take a look at it.
I come into class and its plugged in and running. So I hit the eject button and sure enough it starts to eject and then closes. Take the case off, and see that he has put 1 5/8 inch deck screws into the side of the CD Rom to attach it to the case. I asked him about it and he said he lost the little screws that went with it and didn't figure it made a difference.
When we were introducing autotellers, we had a special "show the oldies" day. So we chose an old bloke, and walked him through how to use the autoteller while everyone else watched. We showed him how to put his card in (the right way up after three times), type his PIN, and select an account. We then asked him to tell the computer how much he wanted. He leaned into the card slot and said clearly "I'd like twenty dollars, please." The thing is, computer illiterate or not, he's right. That's how it should've worked :) (Like Scotty in that Star Trek movie.)
natlach ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:12:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At my old position, my manager (around 40 yrs old) asked me to clear up some space in a general Outlook inbox that the whole team used by deleting some really old sent messages. She advised me it might take awhile so just do a little bit at a time whenever we were slow.
Now, I assumed that "it might take awhile" b/c that shared Outlook inbox was notorious for being slow but I still managed to finish the task in less than 5 mins.
My manager called me and asked how I managed to do things so quickly. Turns out, she had no idea about being able to shift+click...or ctrl+click...or really anything else along those lines. She had been going into each email INDIVIDUALLY and clicking delete. Took her 2 hours the last time she did it.
Later I brought it up to a co-worker, who is in her early 30s and has a Masters, and she too had no idea about any of this and had been doing the same thing to clear out her Outlook.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:15:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a software developer. We ask people to submit screenshots on any error they see in the UI. I once saw a picture of someone's monitor that was taken with a camera. They literally took a screen shot.
I work in IT, and the closest thing I have is less computer illiteracy, and more a general misunderstanding of our services. We help with tech problems. Client emails in about missing chairs in a lab. Someone just went in and took their chairs, and he emailed us for an answer. If it were a computer, sure. And it was in a computer lab, so it may have been fine.
However, he wanted us to investigate for lab chairs. We don't do hands-on service, it is purely over phone or forms. Not much we could do for the guy. I never did get to hear how it ended. I do wonder if he ever found those chairs though.
I work in IT. Might have posted this before. For crazy organisation and poor business planning reasons, I can't remote into our user machines, I have to give instructions for support over the phone and get them to describe what is happening. Mental.
Anyway! Asked a lady to close any windows she had open before we started. As soon as I said that I heard the phone put down on the desk as she got up and slammed a window shut.
Edit: A word. I'm on mobile. On the crapper. At work. Need 5 mins peace.
In college my Intro to Web Design professor, while showing her screen on a projector for the whole class, got to Google Images by going to google.com and searching 'images'.
One of my clients bought a new macbook pro. But still does all her work on a 10 year old windows box with a crt monitor, just because thats where all her photos are saved
A part from the classic 'typing the URL into Google' my dad checks his emails by googling 'bt office,' clicks the link, clicks the link on the BT homepage that takes you to some office 365 office mail website, then logs in. I tell him countless times that you just go straight to the office 365 website and log in but he stubbornly refuses and always goes the long way round JUST TO PISS ME OFF AND IT WORKS.
not exactly a computer but I had a basketball coach who was old and struggled with technology. He used to answer his flip phone upside down and complain that cell phones never got good connection
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:23:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to type hyperlinks into emails and send them to me. She'd often make mistakes and the link wouldn't work. I told her to just copy and paste the link in the email to me next time and she had no idea what that meant.
Oh, and she still uses AOL to send emails.
Dedge77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:26:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A friend asked me round to fix his ยฃ1500 laptop that he purchased for browsing the web. He said he was struggling to see what was on his screen.
He had installed almost a dozen toolbars within IE and was left with about an inch and a half to see the actual page. Whilst removing/disabling them there was the bog standard flash animated gif "you have a virus, click here" and he told me I better click on it as his laptop just got another virus.
I wanted to take the laptop away from him as it was being sorely misused.
The age of touch screens is upon us, so not necessarily illiterate here...
I work in an employment office, so on a daily basis we have clients of all walks of life coming in to use the computers for job search/resume/etc. Well, some of these clients are either computer illiterate or only versed in the newest version of the iPad their children bought them for Christmas in a thinly baled attempt to get them to stop writing letters.
While instructing a client on how to register I always point to the places on the screen they must click next.
C: "So, what do I do?"
M: "Alright, so we'll need to click here points to screen to proceed to the registration."
Many years ago (early 2000s) I was a TA for an "intro to computers" style class at my university. One of the topics we covered was how to use Microsoft Word. We gave the students an assignment that involved creating a word document, something along the lines of "type a few paragraphs about yourself."
An older gentleman raised his hand asking for help, so I went over to him to help out. Turns out he had typed his first paragraph but had no idea how to move the cursor to the next line to start his second paragraph. I had to explain how the Enter key worked.
In his defense, if you've never used a computer (or typewriter) it's fairly cryptic that the "Enter" key would be the thing that moves your cursor to the next paragraph.
Im a computer engineer and programmer, I went to a theory exam for a drivers license
They had computers and the room was top notch high tech so I sat down and figured they would have touch screens on the computers so I started pressing the answer boxes on display, nothing happened
after a few seconds I realized there was a computer mouse next to the computer.. Looked around hoping no one saw me :)
Go to any cyber-cafe/Photocopy place in India, usually you have to tell them if you need stuff printed stuff, give them the pen drive, they print it for you.
The guys generally have Windows XP or 7. Every 3 seconds they right-click the desktop and click "Refresh".
For some reason everyone believes it speeds up things.
I was typing away in TexMaker while sitting down. I also had command prompt open due to running a bit of code. Someone in the queue saw this and thought I was making a program to hack the wifi or something . Luckily I managed to convince the staff that I wasn't.
I was behind a middle aged woman at Best Buy who was paying with her credit card. She had to press a 'no' button so it would process as credit, not debit. The cashier said, regarding the card swipe terminal, "you have to say no", meaning to press the no button. The woman leaned over the card swipe thing and said "No!". I scowled hard at that one.
dfs_zzz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:02:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A customer was once asked to restart the computer. After about 10 seconds she claimed it was up and running again. For the colleague at the phone that sounded suspicious but nevermind.
The problem was a typical and well known issue which just needed a reboot to be fixed (software distribution would kick in and fix it). However, as you can guess it was not fixed and could not be fixed the same day - multiple restarts did not help even though we changed settings for the software distribution alot.
Two weeks later the colleague is on site for a different reason and remembers this problem, so he goes on and reboots the computer having the issue; problem is gone...
So long story short, he asks the customer how she rebooted the workstation and if she can show him, only to find out her definition of restart contains only switching the monitor off and on.
My heart still bleeds thinking she was the customers system administrator at this site.
I used to be a field tech for a major ISP. A variation of this type of call happened a few times while I was there, but this one stands out as the worst instance of it... I had a work order for a customer saying their internet wasn't working. Checked the modem remotely before I left the office and it was online with decent levels. I show up, and had a normal script I ran through so I wouldn't forget anything. Greet the customer. Ask customer to show me the computer. Ask customer to turn computer on. You ask them to turn it on because if it doesn't work they can't claim you broke it. I see the POST, then the Windows 98 splash screen... then reboot. POST, Splash, reboot. POST, Splash, reboot. "See! Your internet is crap, I can't get online!"
Far too many people equate their computer with the internet itself. These same people assume if they can't get their TV to turn on, then their cable service must be out.
Years ago, I was an IT manager. On my first day at a new job, I discovered that the operator in charge of backups was allowing all the users, about 30 of them, to carry on with their normal computer tasks while she backed up the system. She thought she was being kind.
Friend did IT. Lots of users use ink prints at home and don't understand the difference of laser printers and toner as evidenced by their name for it: ink. Because of this, printers have been fucked up by users running ink printer paper, tshirt transfers, and sticker paper through them. However nothing beats the one time when a year old, 4-figure priced Xerox printer ran out of toner and a user went to Staples to buy ink cartridges, proceeding to tear apart the printer and damage it in order to find the non existent ink.
I work IT in my college currently and one of my major advisers (she's very elderly) always keeps 2 copies of emails she receives or sends in case "she loses one of them."
Bless her heart.
sevaerg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:17:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my professors did a Google search to go to yahoo, to do a search
My boss was on the phone with Apple yesterday for three hours because she could not figure out how to transfer a song from her Mac to her iPhone and wouldn't let me show her. Three hours. Those poor, poor Apple employees.
"I don't have Windows 9 yet because you aren't supposed to download things off the internet."
JDpoZ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Before my mom retired a few years ago in the mid-2000s, she was the district school technology coordinator.
She was in charge of instructing other teachers how to integrate certain software into their classroom and for doing things like handling attendance and grade records.
At one point early on in the position, during the very end of the 90s, she was also responsible for explaining to some of the teachers how to actually use computers in a lab full of now-ancient Dell computers - complete with Windows 98 displayed in 800x600 on 17" CRT monitors.
She had several stories about the frustrations and sometimes entertaining moments teaching tech-illiterate educators, but my favorite story was this one:
Mom: "okay class, so I want you to click on this icon on your screen two times in quick succession. That should make it open this progr..."
Student (an older woman teacher for middle school students) raises hand nervously while looking worried.
Mom: "Yes?"
Student : "Umm can you come help me?"
Mom walks over to her desk and looks at the screen. Nothing appears to be wrong. "What is the problem?"
Student: "I've tried clicking it over and over like you said and nothing happens."
Mom: "Okay, can you show me?"
Instead of reaching for the old ball-tracked 2-button mouse just to the right of the keyboard or even the keyboard itself, the older woman responsible for educating young adults raised her hand to the CRT monitor, and began repeatedly and frantically tapping the tip of her index finger's painted acrylic nail on the desktop icon of the application which she was trying to open.
My sorority sisters and I wanted to watched a movie one night, and we normally watched from one of their laptops (I didn't have speakers at the time), so I suggested that I torrent it from my computer. Then one of them asks me, "But how are you going to get the movie from your computer to my laptop?" It took everything I had to not laugh and to calmly explain the concept of hard drives and USBs.
When I was a kid I did computer repair. A lady called for service and told me she couldn't get her computer to"turn on". I drove 30 minutes to tell her the monitor wasn't plugged in to the wall...
A guy 3 months ago was telling me about an "amazing thing" on the internet that can find absolutely anything, you just have to type it & it all comes up. He couldn't remember the name. It took us a while but we figured out it was google.
This same man once borrowed a colleagues iPhone to make a quick call. He couldn't figure out how to dial the phone the number until we informed him he was typing it into the calculator. He was stuck on the second digit because of course a calculator won't let you type beyond 0 without a decimal.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in high school (mid 90s), we were in the library printing stuff out. It was a dot matrix printer with a ribbon. Someone, while telling someone else how computer illiterate they are, grabs the paper and starts pulling it to make it finish printing faster...
A guy I work with believes Amazon put a virus on his computer because 1) he is always signed into his account and 2) his workplace PC contracted a virus after signing in to Amazon, according to him.
Guy knows nothing about cookies - except for the ones he brings to work for snack. And, maybe you infected your terminal because of all the stupid shit you download? Maybe...?
Owner of our company. Works in the office across the parking lot. Called me up 10 minutes prior to my go-home time...so I get to dig up a screwdriver and trudge over there to help him...
"You're handy, can you grab a philips screwdriver and come help me with a problem with my printer?"
Me: oh boy... "OK, like to take it apart? What's wrong?"
Him: "I'll show you when you get here"
So I go over and he's got the printer taken apart as far as you can without tools, meaning he removed the paper tray and the toner cartridge. The cords are disconnected and it's sitting on the table across his office from the computer. Great place to start.
He proceeds to tell me that one time, a couple months ago, or maybe years ago, there was a piece of cardboard stuck in his printer and he was able to get it out but then his tech support guy came and removed the rear panel and got out some more cardboard and then it started to work again.
That's what I walked into. That's what I had to go on. A half-remembered story about a jammed piece of paper. It's a tiny desktop sized laser printer.
"Oh. So, why is it apart? Did you get the jammed paper, or cardboard, out already?"
Him: "Yeah, I got a small piece from the front. But I didn't have a screwdriver to take off the rear panel. Can you just pop that off and get out the jammed paper that is preventing it from working?"
Me: "Sure...but there's clearly no paper here..." So I get out the appropriately sized screwdriver and start looking for the correct screws to remove the rear panel. There is no rear panel. You would have to completely disassemble the entire printer to get any further into it. I tell him I can't. So he calls his tech support guy to ask him...
Him: (dials phone) "Gregg, do you remember that time, a while ago, you took apart my printer and I don't know, removed a panel, and there was some stuff stuck in there? And then it worked again? Oh, oh you got it out of the front? Ok. So there's no rear panel? Ok. Alright thanks!" and then he hangs up...I'm imagining this "tech support guy" screaming internally as he awaits the inevitable phone call when this diptard breaks it real good.
So I ask him to tell me what the printer did or did not do, what error messages he received that leads him to believe it was jammed. He tells me none...that it simply wouldn't print.
Me: "So, did it turn on, and try to print, but got jammed?"
Him: "No. Nothing. No response. The lights on! So I know it's on. But it won't print! There's gotta be something in there."
Me: "Show me."
So he hooks it back up and starts fucking around in the device manager settings, assigning this printer as the default, because he knows the word default and it must mean something? Right? Well I catch a glance of the window that shows all the printers he could choose...and there's like 14. Several of them are copies of the same printer. He is however extremely confident that he's selected the right one and proceeds to brag to me about how he does work everywhere and has a lot of printers because he's so busy and wink wink nudge nudge he's rich.
I told him to try printing a document. No response from the printer. A bunch of documents sit in the pending queue but nothing ever prints. He then proceeds to cancel all documents and attempt to reprint like 5 times in a row...I tell him his spooler needs reset and the extraneous printers need to be purged from his list but I don't have the time or knowledge to do it. Him: "Oh, you mean like inside the printer? Like wind it back up?" I tell him to call his tech support guy to come in and do it.
That poor bastard.
I then got out as fast as I could with my sanity intact...
TroySC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:45:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I saw the "any key" joke go down in real life, minus it being a joke.
Oh Dad...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:49:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I put this on r/talesfromtechsupport once, but we had a giant cart full of Chromebooks back in my middle school and some idiot managed to plug the charger into the headphone jack.
I emailed my mom some vacation photos and was walking her through it over the phone. While asking what she was seeing on the screen to see if she was following along, she explained she was still waiting for the mouse to "warm up" before she could use it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:49:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom once called me and asked me if I could please "check with the internet" about "what's up with Mary's phone" because she was trying get a hold of her friend and kept getting "some weird message". I tried to explain to her that if I Googled "what's up with Mary XXxX's phone?" I wasn't going to get an actual answer, but she insisted that I try.
Jezelda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad once tried to print a YouTube video. When I asked him about it he said he was trying to take it to work to show to someone. I didn't even try to explain that one.
When my wife used a mouse for the first time, she held it improperly (sideways, using her thumb to press the buttons). When she couldn't get the cursor to move to the right location on the screen, she burst into tears, believing that she had an undiagnosed learning disability.
r-abbit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:09:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was first getting started on computers I wanted to personalize my Neopets profile so I used Google to search for ones I liked.
Then I would WRITE DOWN the entire HTML code and retype it up on Neopets.
I used to work for a former congressman who was still employed in an appointed position at our local statehouse. I served as his paralegal for his law office. After he would finish work at the State House, he would come into the office, read his e-mails on the shared office computer (Yes, we shared a computer. Kill me.), and begin formulating his responses.
He didn't just reply to the e-mails though. Oh no. That would be too easy.
He would use a dictation machine and would dictate his response e-mails for me to type the next day. Every morning I would come in and there would be tiny tapes, one e-mail per, with post it notes on them telling me which e-mail I needed to reply to. I would have to put the tapes into a little recorder and transcribe them into his e-mail and send his responses. This was my life for a year and a half before I went to law school.
xormx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:27:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in high school, a girl behind me was watching me download an image from the internet with a terrified expression. She told me that we weren't supposed to download things, and that the computer was going to explode if I did that.
A co-worker e-mailed me asking me to show him how to take text from an e-mail and add it to a word document. I e-mailed back telling him he can just highlight the text and copy & paste it into the document. He e-mailed back with "?????".
I learned that the man in charge of writing up and formatting contracts did not understand how to use the copy/cut & paste feature. I tactfully as possible went to our boss and offered to do final formatting on contracts, since I already do so with reports. Any contracts sent out before 2014 I am genuinely concerned about, the formatting I had to do to the templates alone was enormous.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:44:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Top of the thread -Funny
Bottom of the thread -Seriously considering campaigning for euthanising human beings.
I work with many old men. One time a guy got yelled at for using to much data on the company phone. He did not realize that porn was so much data. Also he was not good about closing the website. I wish this was an isolated event .
This happened in about 2007-2008, so I think we were using Windows Vista. A new hire just out of college was sitting at her computer and looked frustrated. The trainer came by and asked what was wrong. She said she didn't know where the Start button was. It took her a few more minutes to realize where it was even after the trainer pointed it out to her. This was one of the cases where she was book smart but had no common sense.
tetsuko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
circa 1999
Taking an A+ class on my way to get my MCSE. Teacher is going over basic stuff, and asks us to click on something on our classroom computers. Student raises hand and asks how to use the mouse, doesn't know how to click on things, etc.
I'm not sure if that's so bad. Only about 50% of US households owned a computer in 1999, with less than 50% of US households having an Internet subscription. Both percentages only exceeded 50% in the early 2000s (2000-2002). (Source)
tetsuko ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:32:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, but this was a technical school for folks getting into the it field. Probably shouldn't have been there if you didn't know how to use a mouse. It was kind of frustrating for everyone else because the teacher had to not only teach this person how computers worked, but really what they were.
About 10 years ago I sold a gaming computer on ebay and shipped it out to Catalina Island. I got a very nasty email from the buyer stating that he was unable to turn on the computer and even had a friend look at it and they were adamant I had sold them junk and were threatening to take it up with paypal.
I sent them a picture of the location of the power button on the case and didn't hear anything back until a few days later I got the positive seller rating from them.
dbp003 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still partially work on our company service desk. Yesterday we had a ticket for an error prompt that a user had received with an attachment of the error and we were asked to investigate the error. Opened the attachment to find a hand written copy of the error on a post it note, scanned into a pdf and attached to the email. SMH.
User stopped over one morning saying her computer would not turn on and she would like us to take a look at it. We followed her to her desk where she showed us that the computer would not turn on. She pushed the power button on the monitor off and on a few times and then ask us what we thought.
We looked under the monitor at her empty docking station, then asked her where her laptop was. She said she left it at home by mistake, but didn't understand why that would have any effect on why things were not working at her desk.
Grandma can't handle on-screen programming guides on her cable box, so I tried to make it as easy for her as possible to use. I told her "If you ever see anything on the screen that you don't understand, just push the Exit button to get back to your show."
She tried pushing Exit on a Rachael Ray cooking show.
I was working as a teaching assistant while in grad school about 10 years ago. During the second week of class the Prof I was working for hands me a DVD and says
"I need you to take this home, put it in your DVD player, and fast forward to the part where they are talking about jellyfish and then bring it in with you for class on Monday".
"Why?" I said.
She looked at me like I was the dumbest most useless person who ever lived and said, in complete exasperation, "So that it will be queued up to the right place when I play it in class!"
While desperately trying to keep a straight face, I did my best to explain that DVD's are optical devices and can't be queued up like a VHS tape. She didn't understand what I was saying until I described it as "a really fancy record player".
My coworker was trying to help someone find the power button on her computer over the phone, she's older, probably late 60's, she couldn't find it so he went to her location and walked in on her and another woman in her 30's turning the monitor on and off over and over again
BTEGirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:49:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I asked a lady who worked in our call center to sign a document and return it to me. I had sent the document to her via email, expecting her to print and sign, or electronically sign. She called me down to her desk, saying that she signed it, but when she printed it, the signature wasn't there. She had signed her monitor with a marker, then tried to print it out. :/
Ovreel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Currently dealing with someone who thinks that there is a person on their machine, reading their email and changing their reading pane settings. This is up there
This sheer act of stupids is on me. I was building a computer with a friend. Once it was finished, I plugged it in and turned the powersupply on. Computer wouldn't boot, no power. Thought the 16pin for the motherboard was inproperly connected, Almost broke The motherboard by trying to frantically rip it out. My friend then asks, "...Did You press the power button on The case?" No, I did not...
Joon-s ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:08:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"My computer's running slowly, how do I download more RAM onto my computer?"
Amanoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even thinking that more RAM magically solves your problems with computer speed seems illiterate to me. Maybe it was a good rule of thumb 15 or 20 years ago, but nowadays everyone and their grandma has more RAM than they need. Thinking that you can just download it only makes you even more illiterate.
X_ology ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:11:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I teach a summer class and got a TA this summer. I was excited to be able to disperse some work elsewhere. My TAs first task was to make me an excel sheet for student information. After about 20 minutes I go to check on her but she only has 2 row categories completed. She has only written two words... I ask her what is taking her so long and she tells me...
"I don't know how to backspace on excel"
I knew at that moment that this class was going to be a rough ride.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:12:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmother put her iphone outside, so it wouldn't wake her up. It's a piece of technology, not a cat.
I was researching on the Internet the company I had interned at when I was 20. 1998 was the year and I had no idea how the Internet worked. I was on their website and was making note of the pages that interested me so I wrote the url as in www.russberry.com/catalogue/2279&5&&bbtnko//2859583638blahblahblah or whatever with endless characters and symbols. Took me forever and I don't recall actually ever using those links.
To this day I never told this story.
That was one of my awkward moment.
Also a client was visiting my office once and couldn't connect with our secure log in system. He gives his iPad to my colleague, who types www... And all kind of porn sites appear. If you're gonna ask for help, clear your browser history.
When I was 16 I worked at a Shoppers Drug Mart, we got new computers which meant new passwords and usernames. Well my supervisor, who wasn't the brightest tool in the shed, kept trying to capitalize the number "0" because it "looks bigger on the paper".....
I was going to make a joke about how when you hold down shift and press 0 it only gives you half of the number, but I'm to believe he doesn't know what a shift key is.
Sumbog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:24:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Overheard this at my school bookstore.
Women at the bookstore desk was on a call with someone trying to find a certain text book. The bookstore clerk told her they had the book, and that it was 150$. The person on the other end was outraged by the price and tried to bargain it down. After repeatedly telling the customer that 150$ is the only price they sell the book at, the clerk suggested that she try a second hand bookstore. When asked how to find such a bookstore, the clerk gave a few suggestions, and said google them for directions.
My grandma believes that if there is anything slightly wrong with the computer, it's being hacked. She once tried to angrily lecture me about hackers. Meanwhile, she doesn't even know how to turn off the computer. Every time I go back there the computer is on and I have to turn it off for her.
Also my mom didn't know what a scroll wheel did or was.
don't know if this qualifies as illiterate but I read some time ago another Redditor posted that his boss wanted his workstation to have the internal IP of 192.168.1.1....since he was the boss, he should have the .1 ......ffs
11097 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always used the first host ip on a subnet for the gateway.
email attachment comes as a word doc with the screen shot image embedded in it
Another time, walked into the dev room and a new hire was holding her mouse up speaking to the bottom of it (like it was a microphone) saying "Cancel print...CANCEL PRINT!!"
With sheer confusion on my face I'm sure, I looked over at the other developers who were turning varying shades of red trying not to laugh. I knew exactly what happened, didn't say a word and left ;)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:23:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is going to get buried, but here goes.
I work ATC, we have a LOT of publications and annual publication exams so that we know which publication to open for whatever issue we need to resolve...anyway, we have a lot of paper copies of these publications, as well as access to digital copies which make the exam much easier with ctrl+f rather than using the publication's index and contents summary pages.
A lot of older guys actually like to use the paper copies because that's how they grew up doing it and they're really good at it (I like using the paper copies also, it's just a bit slower, but not that bad)...but some of them like the convenience of not having to go through 6 different bibles to find the answers to they use the digital copies...but don't use ctrl+f... they use the digital index and content summary to find the articles. We've tried to tell them and they call it "cheating".
Little bit more here, feels mean, but it's necessary, if they ask me for help (often the article is very hard to find) they'll sit behind me as I look for the article and they'll say "go down", so I scroll down and they say "No, go down!". "I did...." "No, you're going up." This is because when you scroll down the page...everything on the screen moves up. facepalm
I was a developer at a small software company in the mid 90s. The sales guy complains loudly every morning that his email takes FOREVER to open. The email client in question was a Windows app that opened emails as a document in an MDI container. When you ran the app, it restored all the open documents so you could continue where you left off. Anyway, every day he opened emails but never closed a single one. He had approximately 10000 documents open in an app in 16 bit Windows.
I selected Windows | Close all open documents or something and it sat there for a few minutes making closing sounds. He bought be lunch for being so amazing.
Akronis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:33:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Set an older woman up with a mouse to use with her laptop instead of her trackpad.
She proceeds to place the mouse on the trackpad and move it around experimentally.
A bit late, but I was at university studying computer science. One of the guys on my course had a Macbook, and needed Windows on it to install some development environment. After he's installed Windows 8, he's going through the setup process and I see him swiping his hands over the screen. I asked him what he was doing and he said there was a message telling him to swipe his hand on the screen to test out the touchscreen. I distinctly remember asking him, "Matt, is your Macbook touchscreen?", to which he replied "No, why you ask?". For someone studying a degree in Computer Science, I found that incredible!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:08:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone plugging their USB into a Wall outlet and saying it needs to charge first before using it
We have some iMacs at work, ones with the keyboards that have USB plugs on the side. Well, one of my coworkers told me (after moving her desk) that her keyboard wasn't working now. She had run the keyboard plug around the back of the monitor... and back into the keyboard itself. The keyboard was plugged into itself. I will never let her forget this.
My mother-in law printed a amazon webpage and then wrote down the entire web address of the page. Then sent it to my wife via USPS with a note to please buy the item for her ..... she knows how email works...i have spam she has forwarded to me.....
When my coworker is going on pinterest or something non work related she opens IE, types Google into the bing search bar, does not click the Google link, and then continues to search for whatever she's looking for with the bing search bar because "they can't track what I'm doing on the Internet now"
I tried explaining it to her and she just told me that I don't understand how it works.
Lost cause
vhite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:12:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom questioning my computer literacy when I couldn't find some music on the internet from a small local band.
I work as a programmer.
jprogan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:19:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad. His name is Martin and he's sitting right beside me.
we have newish, digital security cameras on our rural road (mostly to watch for people rerouting the water lines) and i asked my dad, "who watches the camera content?" "oh, nobody. i think the film canisters ran out". what. talked to the road manager.. "oh those aren't on, we don't know how to put the movies on my computer and also the guy with the password moved away." ooookkkaaayyy lol
Dad: I don't like the look of the new Google front page. Bring me back the old one
Me: Dad, Google changed it, I can't control the page
Dad: You mean you don't run Google?
This was decades ago but I never forgot. It was early in my Help Desk career so I didn't really know what to expect. I just assumed everyone knew a bit about computers like me.
I had an end user call me saying they couldn't save to the A:. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what was wrong so I ended up walking to their desk.
I asked to user to show me what they were trying to do. The problem? They didn't put a floppy disk into the A:.
So don't get offended when someone asks you to check if you have the power plugged in. There's a reason why!
Her: (opens browser. Goes to yahoo. Types in Google in the search bar. Clicks top result for Google.)
Me:....
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:43:28 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Console gamers
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:17:30 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So at my last job a lady ordered a mouse. She put in a ticket asking why it wasn't working.
She had thought it was wireless and severed the cord, thinking the remaining part was some sort of antennae?
When asked why she would do this, she said the image on the internet order showed just a small piece of cord. She didn't seem to understand image cropping.
ummm what? What do you mean, what are you looking at?
Well this is the first time I have a smart phone and evertime I open this google thing there is just a box in there for me to put a password? What do I put so I can search what I want?
I had a guy come in multiple times because he fell for the same Microsoft scam multiple times. Despite us telling him every time that it was a scam.
Last time he came in, I carefully explained to him that no one will never call you about a virus on your computer. Went as far as having him repeat it to make sure he understood.
Poor guy has been scammed out of probably over a thousand dollars.
"I can't find the internet."
"What do you mean you can't find the internet?"
"Look!" - points at computer monitor
Realizes she meant the shortcut
"It's right here."
"That's not where it used to be, how can it go back?"
Drags shortcut over
She touches monitor
"Put it here"
moves it to where she points
"Thanks!
About 12 years ago, when I'd just started out as a support tech, we had a file server go down and it needed to be rebuilt. We were carting the server back to where it lived to hook it back up when a woman came out of her office and stopped us:
woman: "Can you come look at my computer real quick? I can't get to my files on <server>."
Sysadmin: "Yeah, we know, the <server> is right here on the cart, we're going to hook it up."
Woman: "Uh, ok. Can you come look at my computer first, though? I really need to get to my files on <server>." (followed by a 5 minute spiel about how important it is that she get her files as soon as humanly possible).
Sysadmin: "It won't do any good to look at your computer, the server is right here on the cart, we're on our way to hook it up."
Woman (irritated): "Well, fine, maybe if you get time afterwards you can look at my computer before you leave."
Guy spilt a glass of water on his laptop and complained very loudly that it wasn't working. When I picked it up and the water ran out I said that's why.
His response was priceless "What kind of an idiot do you think I am, all laptops are waterproof".
Suupeer late to the party but, me and my mom were going on a trip and I was grabbing a power strip and she said I could use hers so I ask her if it has a USB port. She asks "whats a usb port?" I then explain to her what a usb port is.
When the Norwegian government thought they could stop it's citizens from accessing torrent sites such as piratebay....
They stopped nothing because our politicians are computer illiterate and good ol' fashioned dumb
destoyan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:00:33 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually I have a theory. All terrorists, gunners and serial killers were at one point Tech Support. They just couldn't handle it anymore... and went Jihad on their customers.
B0NDYRS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:14:14 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Nana (Grandma) had been begging my to teach her how to use a computer as it was an easier way for her to play solitaire so after much nagging from her I finally cave in and let her have a go on my laptop. First thing I tell her is to move the mouse from point A to point B, to which she physically picks up the mouse and places it, and I tell her I will no longer teach her lmao.
Oh man. I was sitting through a training session for a job as a math tutor at my college. This older woman was fumbling her way through a PowerPoint and we were bored out of our minds. On the last slide she has a URL for a YouTube video she wants to show us. So what does she do?
Opens Internet Explorer (red flag 1)
Goes to the address bar and types "www.yahoo.com" (red flag 2)
Goes to the Yahoo search bar and types "www.YouTube.com" (the hell??)
Opens YouTube from the search results
Goes back to the PowerPoint, copies the URL (props for pulling off this step flawlessly)
Goes to the YouTube search bar and pastes the exact URL there
Worked as a PC tech, got a call from an old lady her exact words were:
Good day, I just had a PC tech over, he charged me 400$, and left, my oc does not work, he said i need a specialist to install the Excel board, because mine is broken. I really need it, i work as an accountant, and im cripple. All i have left is 5$ please come help.
( Russia, crisis, 2004, she sounded like 70, desparate, and half crying, the area she was in was 60km from our office, i had a friend bring her an old laptop to work (he lived in that rural area).
Basically the guy who came over fucked up the pc, and took money "for parts" and ditched her.
I'm not tech support but worked customer service for a while.
Them: "I can't access my workstation"
Me: "Ok what internet browser are you using?"
Them: "Me and my husband share an email account".
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:23:52 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
jmon3 ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 22:08:51 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
What kind of asshole goes to a similar post from 4 years ago, and pastes the top answer from it word for word.
Edit: We did it Reddit!
Emerno ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:41:39 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How do you guys even find this shit? Is there like a Chrome plug-in or something that pops off?
jmon3 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:55:19 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I enjoyed reading the responses to this post so I searched for a similar post to read similar stories. The wording of the top comment seemed much to familiar so I went back to this post to confirm and voila!
itz4mna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:58 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's like rule 24 or something, every repost is always a repost of a repost.
I had a very similar thing happen to me doing support for a proprietary application. I has giving the guy instructions on what to click on etc and he kept describing an "error" that had a color pallet etc and wasn't like any error message teh application should throw. I finally remoted in (he was in latin america so the connection was very slow, circa 2002) and he was clicking on the icons in the MANUAL and not in the application itself.
cl4ire_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:20:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Many years ago, my mother-in-law got a laptop and asked me to set it up with an AOL (yeah, many years ago) account. This was before broadband was widespread, so I set it up so AOL would dial up to a local access number. ID set up, dial-up tested, wrote out a few instructions, all good, off you go.
A couple of days later, she calls me up and says "I want to go to the QVC website, but QVC is based in North Carolina. Will I get billed for a long-distance call to NC every time I go to their site?"
I had an assistant once that I told needed to take a package to the FedEx store. She asked for directions. I told her to Google it. Before my eyes, she opened bing to search for Google. Fired.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if this kid was retarded or something, but there was definitely something different about him, and not in the good way. Anyways we're using laptops in 7th grade this one day, they come with mouses. The kid put the computer mouse up to the laptop screen and moves it around, as if it were the table it was on. A little on later he figures out he can either use the track pad or use the table. Just an example of while ill typically look down on disabled people.
Many moons ago. Talked to my mom while at a school studying CS. Told her my course schedule: included Computer Architecture. She paused. And then said "but you don't know anything about Architecture". In all fairness, it's fairly understandable. But still makes me chuckle.
jasonzx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:17 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least once a week I receive an email with a PDF attachment that was originally a Word document that had been printed and then scanned as a PDF(this is the only way they know how to convert a document to PDF).
My inability to set my flair. It just keeps going to a screen that says "sorry, that's not ready"
fapward ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:55 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my teachers tried moving the mouse up and down, like literally lifting it from the table and back down, trying to get the cursor to move up and down.
Simusid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:08 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
1) printed a document to print server in remote office and fedexed output to main office, instead of printing to queue at main office (this was many years ago so no email)
2) Recently watched a guy cut and paste a url out of an email, open MS Word, paste it into word so that he could ctrl-click to open it.
My mom closes and reopens Internet Explorer any time she wants to start a new search, then types "www.google.com" into the search bar.
(I've told her about tabs and how the search bar works multiple times)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:56 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my sister would literally smack her computer.
sigh
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:56 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad!
Falls for every fake alert box pop up.
Calls windows user accounts "websites".
Double clicks links.
Thinks that anything internet related, including email, must be done entirely in lowercase with no punctuation.
Can never grasp that the printer needs to be plugged in and connected to the computer to work.
Let someone he works with use the family computer. This guy downloads a massive pornado!
Told a customer to fill in a form directly and send to us, as we don't accept ones that were handwritten and scanned in(Form was a Word document). User said they didn't have a typewriter.
Was helping a user once setup her email at a field office. I asked her to open Outlook, she asked how. When I told her to double click the icon on the desktop she picked up the mouse and started tapping it on the monitor.
My teaching partner does not understand that the YouTube volume will only go as loud as what your speaker is set to. So in the morning she will turn down the master volume and in the afternoon get super frustrated that none of the YouTube videos she wants to play have sound.
The 5 year olds in our class kindly tell her how to fix the problem but she can't wrap her head around it.
Worked in telecom store in Canada. Man comes in and complains his phone won't turn on. I ask basic questions as he's pulling it out of his coat pocket. When he finally hands me his flip phone it's very light. Too light.
He took the battery out and didn't realize it needed to be in there for it to work. So close
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well I still technically whitnessed this, I just got a used computer for free. Had a bunch of unnecessary files on it so I figured that I would factory reset it. I just wiped the whole computer.. I had it for two hours.
This one isn't the worst, since I've been tech support for my family for over a decade, but it is the most recent so it's fresh in my mind.
I work with disability services at the local community college. I am not IT. I have never been IT. We have like 3 people in IT and they are constantly busy, so I understand why the older students (and by that I mean age 45+) always go to the first young person they see for IT help, when their tickets never get responded to. I get it.
But, I'm actually not allowed to help people with their IT problems unless they're one of my students. I do it anyway, because I'm a nice person and I can usually fix the problem and let them go about their day, but I'm really not supposed to.
This old man the other day was having issues ordering himself a ride on the special bus (I don't know what it's called? Like, the disabled bus. idk) because the website, which is run by the state and not by the school, was down. He asked me to "fix it" because "I know your computer has the ability to do it". All I could do was try the website in different browsers on 2 different computers. It was most definitely down. He got kinda mad that I couldn't fix the website I had no control over and stormed up 3 flights of stairs to leave the library.
I had an assistant manager who didn't know how to toggle screens. He was supposed to do a finance report every day and instead of copying the information from our system and pasting it into the email to regional, he would view the information, write everything down on a notepad, close the screen and type it into the email (very slowly.) He was responsible for team trainings and made checklists for everyone, but instead of just making a basic grid on Excel with everyone's names, he would use a ruler and draw one up with everyone's names hand-written. He eventually left to go to a job with no responsibility (thank god) and my manager recently told me that the guy didn't know the difference between "shift" and "control", no matter how many times it was explained to him. He was a nice guy but I think he might have been like, secretly Amish.
I never found out what happened to our eighth grade computer teacher, but the middle-aged lady that replaced him was hopeless when it came to computers.
The instance that I'll never forget was when she asked me to help her get off of the internet. She kept hitting one of the flashing ads that would shake and had a little x in the corner so that people would unwittingly try to close it and thereby open a pop-up. She was getting really angry with how they just kept opening. I told her to try a different x.
My dad takes pictures with his phone of photos on his computer that he wants to send or show people. I tried to explain about the quality and how easy it would be to just send them from the computer. He didn't want to deal with it.
Area manager for multinational IT services Corp complaining that she would have to scroll through a huge spreadsheet to find some info. Me: can you use ctrl-f to search? Huh. Let me try. Wow! When did they add that?
lynnrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Trying to teach my grandmother how to use a computer. Told her to take the mouse and click on something. She picks up the mouse and moves it through the air a la Jedi mind trick. Clearly not destined to be a super user.
Dad was upset that his sailing website "only showed a little piece of the page". Turns out he had brushed his keypad and accidentally zoomed in on it a few weeks ago, and didn't know how to zoom back out. I swear, I'm like a wizard to my parents.
djskino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Norwegian teacher allways presses the wrong keys...
If she has to put up a youtube video the adressbar will be like this
uryrivr.vin
Seriously
Kamiyaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friends used to believe that hotmails can only send to other hotmails.. until I told them.
I was a one of the contracted techs upgrading all the PCs in a hospital in PUEBLO CO. The system they were using utilized a light pen and the systems we brought in were all mouse driven.
That being said I've seen mice put on the floor like a foot pedal, mice being used on the screen like the old light pens (I can kind of understand that given the context), upside down pushing the ball (yup woo 90s) with a thumb. All kinds of stuff.
mooloor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
English teacher last year
Teach: mooloor the projector isn't working, figure it out.
I wander over, check to make sure it's actually on (it is), make sure it's plugged in (it isn't).
halroxy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom cannot comprehend how her old phone still gets e-mail notifications when she is at home, when it doesn't have service anymore. I have tried explaining that it just connects to her wifi at home but any combination of words I use to get this across to her does not work.
This might not be the most computer illiterate thing I have ever seen, but it is the example the stands out in my mind. A former co-worker of mine claimed to be proficient in Linux. My boss wanted me to use him to help me out with a few things. I wanted him to test out a simple script and here was the process.
Me: Start by opening up the terminal.
Him: Blank stare
Me: You know, the command line?
Him: More blank stares
Me: That icon right there.
Him: Clicks icon and opens up the terminal
Me: Now go to the tmp directory.
Him: More blank stares
Me: Type cd slash tmp
Him: Proceeds to type cdtmp.
I wouldn't consider this computer illiterate if it was my mom or something, but this person had a degree in computer engineering!
It's so hard to choose, and I haven't even been in IT for very long. I'll go with the Dock I was called to fix. The problem was a cord under the laptop so it wouldn't sit properly.
I was in college in a computer lab. This cute girl comes to me, panicking, says she spent 2 hours typing an essay and she only seems to have the end of her document. This is 1991, 1992, Word Perfect, in DOS. So I go to her computer and hit the page up key.... Ta daaa... Her eyes light up and she says to me "Thank you very much! You just saved me 2 hours of retyping my essay!
cainoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
iPad users buying stuff on ebay
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My coworker had a picture on a digital camera that someone in the corporate office needed to see. He opened the picture with his computer, printed it out, and then faxed it to the office.
My mom does my shop's payroll with a spreadsheet. She called me up saying she thought she got a virus because every time she would enter data, the cursor would jump around to various boxes.
My dad wanted us to call the movie theater hot line to check times for Bad Mom. I told him I'd google it and he asked if it would show the times and if it only worked for our local theater.
Sparchs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Woman asks "How do I access all of the information in this spreadsheet." Guy helping her says,
"You need to use the tabs." "Where are the tabs?" "On the bottom of the screen" runs fingers along the bottom edge of the monitor feeling for taps
I remember a while after we got our first computer (which was in 2001), our Dad decided he wanted to have a go. He tried using the mouse sideways.
It was very puzzling, surely he'd seen someone before use one?
I was teaching my moms ex boyfriend how to access him email. I showed him step by step, and after wards asked him if he got it. He just kinda looked at me and pointed to the arrow on the screen "but how do you move this?"
Well just today my boss couldn't email a large pdf so he asked for my help. I said he could split it into two and email them separately or zip it to compress it (simplest things I could think to teach him to do) and instead he ended up deleting half the file and sending it like that. Then in the email he apologized for half being missing.
Dude sent a confidential attachment via email to me. I wasn't supposed to see it. He realized his mistake and asked me to send it back.
Another dude wanted to extrapolate data from a chart in excel. So he printed it off on large paper and used a pencil and ruler to extrapolate not realizing the actual values were on a seperate excel sheet. Even if he knew the values were there I'm quite sure he had no clue how to use excel, so he probably still would have used his paper and ruler method.
I worked for a large computer company. I saw one of my female coworkers take a computer mouse and move it through the air in circle to try to get the cursor to move. She got frustrated when a crowd started to form.
This was our highschool computer teacher. She was trying to insert the a flash drive and complaining it wouldn't work. Guy next to me looks and says "that's the headphone slot"
kuraim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to connect a dsl cable to the tower so they could use the internet and then they kept refreshing a page they were on cuz the video wouldn't load fast enough.
People holding down the home button on an iPhone and saying "Siri, ..." then their question. People do not realize that you DON'T have to say "Siri" after the tone plays from holding down the home button. I go outta my way to correct everyone I hear.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People calling my parents restaurant asking for the email address and my 70 year old dad giving them our street address over and over again, getting more annoyed...
A customer buys a new computer from my dad's small computer show. The next day, the customer calls and complains that the CD-ROM won't read any discs. After no luck troubleshooting, the customer ended up bringing the desktop back to the shop just to find out that he or she was inserting the CD's upside down.
When I was in high school five years ago, I was doing a powerpoint presentation with a few other students. Over the weekend, I called one of the group members and asked if he could email me his part of the presentation. He said he didn't have an email account, so I asked him to create one. He said that he didn't know how to do it. I asked him if he'd ever sent an email before, and he said that he uses his mom's account. I asked him to email me the presentation using his mom's account, but he didn't know how to add an attachment. I told him to put it on a flash drive and give it to me the next day, which he was thankfully able to do.
A younger woman trying to explain to an older woman how to get on the Internet. She keeps saying, "Now click on the little orange dog". I look over and my fears are confirmed: it's Firefox.
I was once helping a coworker with something on her computer and asked her to open up this internal website we use in our department. I expected her to click on bookmarks/favorites or a link on the bookmarks bar. Nope. She opened up Outlook, scrolled down to an email she had received 5 years previously with a link to the site, and clicked it. I showed her how to add the link to her favorites and it blew her mind.
Azzizzi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We had this guy who traveled from office to office giving safety classes. Every single time he made it to my office (3-4 times a year), he'd have me help him find his files. Every time it was the same. Instead of having a folder for say "Classroom Examples" or something logical, he'd have a folder named Word, one named Excel, one named PowerPoint, and so on. Then, he'd put the files in the right folder by type, but when he'd start a new file, it would automatically save into the My Documents folder and he'd need help finding it.
In grade school I changed a screen saver on a classroom computer to a scrolling text screen saver that read, "school sucks". I also set the screen saver to appear after 5 minutes of inactivity to be as annoying as possible. The teacher was very upset and went on a rant about respectfulness to the whole class. She then had us work an art project or something while she talked to another teacher about this problem. I watched them fool around with the computer for a bit until finally they just turned it off. Those teachers left that computer off for months. Apparently that was their only solution for the "school sucks" problem, because one day it was on again, and a little bit of text was scrolling across the screen read, "school sucks".
I had to train someone to cover me at my shipping clerk job I had while I was on maternity leave. The job revolves completely around computers. I had to tell the guy where the SPACE BAR was. Needless to say, that didn't work out.
Tech-okay lets try rebooting the computer, so go ahead and turn it off.
Customer-(immediately) k it's off
Tech-(thinking maybe he was already ahead of me) cool, let's turn it on.
Customer-(immediately) k it's back on.
Tech-oh wow that was quick. (Problem wasn't resolved) Umm let's try that again.
Repeated that process three times before tech figured out the guy was just pushing the monitors power button on and off.
This is true and ongoing somewhere in Washington State, 2016.
Hospital A has a popular brand of Electronic Medical Record (EMR) system. Hospital B has the same multi-million dollar brand of EMR. Both hospitals are founding stakeholders in a Health Information Exchange venture that stores and shares the aggregate electronic patient records of nearly all clinics and hospitals in the area.
The Medical Records Dept. in Hospital A print a patient record from their EMR, walk across the room and place it in a fax machine that auto-dials the Medical Records Department of Hospital B. Thousands of patient records are faxed per month.
The doctors in both hospitals have an incredulous list of rationale to justify this behavior in 2016.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We have a computer where our employees touch a proxy card against a reader, which inputs their details and they move a mouse to click, "sign on".
One of the more common problems i see, is the employees touching the screen to get it to log on.
Our office manager (I'm a sysadmin) doesn't know what the file explorer is.
Anytime he has to open any file, he opens Word, then goes to File > Open to bring up the dialog box, navigates to the folder and right-clicks the file to open it from there, then closes out Word.
I've really really tried showing him, but he just doesn't get it. It's pretty comical. He's been doing this for nearly 20 years now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember seeing someone use Word to delete files. He did the same thing basically. I tried to explain, but eventually just gave up. It's odd.
This is more of a smart phone illiterate thing, but the bakery my little brother works at is a Pokestop and he was telling her about how people kept coming to catch Pokรฉmon and she was seriously concerned about how the Pokemon were getting in and if she needed to call someone to take care of the problem.
It would have to be turning on the damn thing.....IT IS THE UNIVERSAL ON BUTTON.....she was phone when the symbol was on everything else until you but a computer invfront of her.......
bebu10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom signs her text messages to me like this
-Mom
I know who it is! I can see the name before I read the message. Told her this and she still does it
As I stood in line at circuit city, some older woman was absolutely berating the tech support people about how they sold her a "faulty machine" and that she just bought it 3 days ago and it is already broken, and the whole nine yards. After a couple minutes of going back in forth with the poor gawky kid, he plugs it in, and sure enough, it boots up no problem. She didn't realize that they die, and you have to plug them in to recharge them. The absolute worst part of it all, is the old bitch didn't even apologize, she just said she didn't know, and went on her merry way.
My dad likes to tell a story about how he went to a facebook 101 type workshop. At 54, he was the youngest one there. When the instructor began with "start by opening internet explorer," two hands went up.
Cyyriss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work campus IT at the University of Kentucky, and I had a professor put in a ticket stating that they weren't able to play DVDs correctly. So I get over to the classroom they're in, and she has the disk in the computer as she's trying to control it using the remote from the nearby DVD player. After explaining that the remote wouldn't work on the computer, she demanded to know why. She just couldn't grasp that they were two completely different machines.
jaeldi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Helpdesk at a college many many years ago, students would call in, verify identity, then we would read new temporary password to them so they could register.
Me: Ok, here's your temporary password. Capital R as in Roger, lower case t as in tom, Capital H as in Harry, 3, ...
Student: Capital 3?
Me after short pause trying not to bust out laughing: ...no. Regular 3, lower case j as in john, etc.
2nd story: the system had 3 security questions that you could pick questions, like "who is your favorite band?"
Student: I'm having trouble changing my password.
Me: Oh, we can do that over the phone. Let me pull up your info. Who is your favorite band?
Student: But that's the problem. I don't like Coldplay anymore.
me: did you put Coldplay as your answer at registration when you created you password?
Student: yes.
me: then type Coldplay for that answer and answer the other two and it will let you create a new password.
Student: But I don't like Coldplay anymore.
me: That's ok. Just type Coldplay anyway because that's what you created at registration. You could have told the system watermelon and as long as you type watermelon, it would match and allow you to change the password.
Student: But I don't like Coldplay. They aren't my favorite anymore.
me: why don't you just type in coldplay on the screen and see if it lets you change your password anyway?
Student: I can't, that's just not true anymore.
me: once you type in Coldplay, and answer the other two, you'll get a new password, and then you can log in, go to the security set up page, and pick new questions.
Student: But Coldplay isn't my favorite. The answer is wrong.
I finally just wiped all her answers and made her recreate 3 new ones just to escape the circular conversation we were trapped in. I thought it was just a troll, but after the 5th time through the loop, I realized she was just mentally stuck on this minor piece of computer minutia and her personal identity in this reality wouldn't make sense if the university computer system thought she liked Coldplay. I convinced her to choose questions where the answer would not change like "What was the first car I drove." It was so odd to hear the relief in her voice when Coldplay was expunged from any association with her account.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me, when I tried to turn on a Mac in an office and couldn't figure out how. It was the kind that just seemed to be a big LCD monitor with the hardware inside an enlarged back. No power button anywhere on the monitor, and what looked like a power button on the keyboard did nothing. Everything plugged in as it should have been.
I used to own a Macbook Pro and have used Windows machines since the early 90s. Not being able to turn that on made me feel like an idiot.
At my office, I observed one of the clerks on the phone with IT. He was prone to calling for help, so I was standing right behind him, just I case I needed to assist. I heard him say "hold on" , and he took out a little yellow sticky note, and proceeded to write the word " click" on it, then he placed it on the mouse. I asked him what the hell he was doing, and he said " the tech told me to write click on the mouse"
This doesn't quite fit the mold but reading some of these other posts reminded me of a funny story.
I grew up with my grandparents and pretty much moved out at 18 to try to adult before I was ready.
Anyways I lived within a 30 minute drive of them when this happened. One night around 7 my grandpa calls me and says " you need to come over right now".
I was a lazy 18 year old so I asked why?
" I messed up the computer, you have to come fix it before grandma gets home" (grandma was a nurse, worked 3-11pm)
I argued saying to just leave it alone and I'll swing by tomorrow to fix it.
"no, you're coming over now. I don't know what I clicked but now there's naked girls all over the desktop"
Turns out grandpa figured out that the Internet had nudie pictures. He then right clicked and set as background.
I miss my Grandpa.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandfather broke his CD tray thinking it was a cupholder...
This is back in the mid-late '90s when I worked in a small repair shop. Saturday mornings, we opened at 10. A few minutes before opening a customer pulls up front, hops out with his tower and starts banging on the door. I let him in, he sets the tower down (wrapped in a blanket, presumably because it's cold out) and runs outside for his keyboard, mouse & monitor.
When he comes back he explains that he had been visiting some less than family appropriate websites, and had downloaded a theme pack and ran/installed it. It had changed the background image, default icons and default sounds to something from a low budget hard core porn. When it happened, he immediately tried to undo his mistake and quickly realised he didn't have the computer starts to do that. In haste, he desperately unplugged everything, wrapped them in blankets and threw them in the car - telling his wife and kids that the computer had a catastrophic failure and would need to be repaired.
Took me less than 5 minutes to fix. He meekly picked it up, paid the hourly rate and took it home. I still laugh when I think about his story when he dropped it off.
I was helping a new person in our office with something that was requiring multiple windows and applications. I asked her to move one of them over to her other monitor. She paused and asked me "How is it going to get from one computer to the other?" We then had to have a lesson on how multiple monitors does not equal multiple computers.
Another person in our office was instructed to "cut and paste." She, no lie, printed out the two documents and cut the portions from the one and taped them to the other.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
School teachers.
Need a search engine? Google isn't good. Use duck duck go.
Now this only works on chrome I don't know why.
No, you need flash. You need to install flash for it to work. Chrome has flash.
Sometimes zip drives don't work on my computer. I'll see if it works, and if it doesn't work you get a 0 on your assignment.
plugs in usb, gives a single second while looking at the drives folder, doesn't allow drivers to install Nope. No it doesn't work. student proceeds to walk away facepalmimg, knowing there's nothing they can do to get the teacher to computer
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Said teacher needs to be fired. Keep up with current technology or gtfo. This kind of ignorance is unacceptable, especially when they are"teaching." I have no empathy for someone that is unwilling to conform with the direction that the rest of the world is living in.
User put in a ticket saying her CD-ROM wasn't working. She kept saying it was "eating" the discs. Looked around a bit on the OS and tested everything but there were no problems. I hit the button to get the test disc out and she told me that's not how it works. She then told me it's like the CD player in her car.
Took the case off and found 7-8 discs inside the case. She'd been showing them in between the top of the drive and the plastic spacer above it.
Employee called IT to claim his mouse wasn't working. Couldn't diagnose over the phone so went to his location (20 minute drive). Turns out his mouse was upside down...
dwooder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad calls the cursor a cruiser....the most annoying the ever.
Shamefully, it was me. Well not so much illiterate. Ill admit im so used to using my cellphone and tablet (both touchscreen) at home and for work that up until 2 weeks ago didnt have a cpu or laptop. About a month ago my brother handed me his (basic) laptop to look at something. And i touched the screen to open something. He saw me do it too, to this day it just sucks.
My father, mid 70's at the time, asked me to help him with the computer I had given him 5 to 8 years before as it was, "running slow." This man had used a computer for work for at least 10 prior to this.
He sat down at his desk, and when I asked him to show me what was happening and causing him concern about his computer's performance, he picked up the mouse and manipulated the tracking ball, FROM UNDERNEATH WITH HIS FINGER.
TL,DR: elderly father didn't know how to defrag.
Eel28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I fear this will be me. Lol. I need to call apple support for my iPad (I have to reset it, I can't log in and the store won't do it because I don't have the receipt to show them it's mine and not stolen). I've been avoiding it.
Community college, I had a class with this older dude (late 40s) named Leonard. He was a great guy, but very computer illiterate. Mind you, this takes place in 2013.
He comes up to me one day and says, "man, a guy in my computer class gave me this book, and he said i'm gonna be able to learn everything about computers!"
He takes out the book...it's a beat-to-shit manual for using Microsoft Works 2001.
I had to explain to him that someone was fucking with him, and he was pissed.
Saw a mistake in the first sentence of the first paragraph
Used backspace to get back to the mistake ( deleting almost the entire letter )
Corrected the mistake
Retyped the letter.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I get a support call from another site...
"My mouse is broken"
"Okay, what is it doing or not doing?"
"I don't know it's just broken."
"You don't know?"
"Yeah it's broken"
"As it it doesn't work at all? Is it wireless"
"It has a wire, I can't tell if it works"
"I don't know what you want me to do for you, there are some old ones stored in a plastic tub in room x, use one from there for the time being"
Next time I'm there I check in and I see a mouse that's been smashed to a dozen pieces sitting loose in a plastic lunch box.
"See, it's broken."
JohnDax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
back when mouse had the spinning ball on the bottom, I told a user who had no previous experience, to move the mouse around the screen. She lifted the mouse and with her fingers she started to roll the ball. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom to laugh my ass off
I used to work at a library. To use a computer, a patron would have to type in their library card number (the prompt was just a message asking for the number)
I had a woman come up to me and say the computer wasn't accepting her number so I went over to check it out. I asked for her card so I could try and she said "but I put it in like it asked me to." Which turned out to mean she shoved it in the A drive. Took me about 10 minutes to get it back out.
Had a college professor that wanted to show us a video of some political event or something on YouTube. To get to YouTube, she Binged Google, and then Googled YouTube
I was printing out a recipe from a website for my mom, and after it started printing I opened up another tab. My mom thought that the new tab would print over the recipe and ruin it
FlyBoyG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People are too computer illiterate to rename files.
Quick backstory: I made a Steam guide on how to get an achievement in this one game. To do it you have to make 3 text file, fill them with what I wrote and rename them from .txt to .cfg. This horribly stumped people.
There are basically 2 ways to do it: Select 'save as any file type' and manually write .cfg when you save the file or change the windows settings to show file extensions and then do it.
I will admit that this was me who did this, but in my defense, it was way back in the day and I had zero computer knowledge.
Right before Windows 95 came out, we went to go buy our first computer. I remember that it was just a plain desktop, but it cost $3000. We took out a loan from our credit union to buy it. Anyway, the salesman said that in about a month, when Windows 95 came out, we would get a free upgrade. I asked what the difference was and he said that there would be a "Start" button and it would be how we would be able to access anything we needed to.
I said, "No, we don't want that. I don't want to get this thing home and have it all set up and then have to just bring it back here in a month so you can install some button on it. We'll stick with whatever is on here."
I also remember that my husband asked how much storage was on it and the guy proudly said that this particular computer had almost a whole gig and that "nobody would ever need more than that."
Opened Firefox to their default homepage of google. Searched www.google.com in the top right search bar instead of realizing they are on google. Then clicked the search icon, OPENED THE FIRST LINK TO GOOGLE, and then finally entered their search query. I sat there in shocked silence.
My husbands coworker would only use his laptop because emails sent to him only went to his computer. He would not use any other computer because then he couldn't get his emails.
At uni doing an IT degree. In a tute class working on the stuff they presented. Tutor is working with a clueless student and asks them "now move the mouse up and click on the icon"
So at my job we have touch-screen registers that also use keyboards because fuck typing on screens. I train most of the cashiers, most of which are 17 - 20. It's amazing that none of them are aware of what the functions on a keyboard do. Like when filling out a member card, they will remove their hand from the keyboard and touch the next entry line. The "tech generation" doesn't know what the tab key does. I even say "fill this out, tab down, ask the next question." They just tap these shitty old screens that are off by almost half an inch until they get the field they want. It's infuriating.
The other day I was an idiot and couldn't remember that on a desktop if you want to turn the brightness down you need to manually do it on the monitor. I am too used to my laptop where I just can do it from the computer itself, so I started googling the shit out of the monitor brand trying to figure it out and I literally facepalmed when I realized how stupid I was being.
Used to work tech support. I swear to you this was an actual call and not a troll. I wouldn't have believed it either unless it had been me on the other end of the phone.
A lady phoned in, stating from the get-go that this was her first home computer. She'd gotten it set up by the store and they'd tested it and left, but she was having trouble with it.
Lady: My computer isn't doing anything.
Me: Okay, so if you press the power button, does anything happen or does it make a noise?
Lady: Oh, it starts up, but it isn't doing anything.
Me: Alright, so if you move the mouse, is the cursor moving on the screen?
Lady: Yes, it's moving, but it isn't doing anything.
Me: Do you see an icon for your hard drive in the upper left corner of the screen? What happens if you double click on it?
Lady: It opens a window. There are a bunch of folders inside. But it isn't doing anything.
This went on for a bit until I'd run out of ideas on what the computer could be failing to do, so finally I asked her, "So far it seems like this system is working. What exactly is your computer failing to do?"
She literally told me that the "man at the store" had said the computer would "do her taxes for her, and get on the internet for her", and do any number of things for her, but it was just sitting there and wasn't doing anything.
I had to explain to her, gently, that a computer was a tool like a phone or a tv, and you had to tell it what you wanted it to do by opening programs and typing things in.
There was a long pause, followed by, "So... what should I do with it?"
I resisted the urge and suggested she contact the store and seek out some classes.
I work in Tech, so this is especially hard to believe.
A client once asked me to email over our Non-Disclosure Agreement so he could sign it. The line that was supposed to be filled in read like this: "Name of company, a Name of State corporation... " The client filled out the company name, and instead of the name of the state, filled in "An Awesome Company".
When I told him that we could not accept an NDA without a state of incorporation (Which was a nice way of me to put it) the client asked me to email it over to him again, because his only printed copy was already filled out...
I did it, because it was a client and I didn't have the heart to tell him he was an idiot.
I worked with a woman in her 30s who wanted to show me something on Facebook. She proceeds to open up IE, goes to bing.com, types Facebook into the search field, and then clicks on the Facebook ad at the top of the search results.
I work in IT for a major company putting laptops and desktops together for new employees. The absolute worst is when people call and say the dont have such & such program on their system and this happens often. I ask have you checked start programs? Its always no. If its not infront of their face they dont think about where it could be. And it has only happend twice but when i asked if they had checked they asked where strart was. I almost hung up on them
Sorasyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I live a couple hours away, and my parents called me up, wanting some help with the computer. As we've done many times before, my mom opens Teamviewer, and gives me the code to connect.
I get connected, and she puts my dad on the phone who's needing some files pulled up. He starts talking, explaining what he needs, and in the background I hear "Honey, he can't see what you're pointing at."
He was pointing at the folders on the screen as if I was standing right next to him.
For the record, he's fairly capable on a computer, with respect to his work. However, he's not very familiar with file explorer. :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I briefly did some work helping people use computers in a job centre. Some of these people had no idea what they were doing.
The real crowner, though, is "what's a mouse?" guy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OH MY GOD okay, so I am 20 years old, and when I was in 6th grade (2007/8?) I had been taking typing classes for years (though I didn't do much on the internet at the time), and I'm sitting next to this dude like the first or second week of class and we were in the library using these big dinosaur computers that we'd always used and as we start researching and typing our papers I notice he's just kind of staring at the keyboard with only his name "Greg" typed.
Being the friendly little 6th grader I was, I offer "Hey, do you need any help?".
He looks flustered and says "How do I make the thing go over?"
"The thing go over?"
"Yeah, like, your line is further over than mine is." He's pointing at my screen.
I was super confused for a minute, and then I realized "Oh, you mean a space? You press the space bar!"
"Oh, okay, thanks."
I was trying to be nice, but in my head, I was like wtf this dude doesn't know how to use a fuckin' space bar lol. We became good friends all through middle and high school, and I made fun of him for it for years haha.
JediM42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had a professor of a college computing course go on a thirty minute rant about the great strides made in memory storage capabilities and how he couldn't believe computers can now hold gigabytes of information.
Didn't have the heart to tell him my Xbox had a terabyte of storage or that the external hard drive i saved all my work for his class on had 2tbs, i think he would of died from sheer amazement.
A gym sub was trying to play a youtube video, and she accidentally went to the desktop, when you hover over the windows button it says start, so she hit the windows button, and accidentally logged out of the computer. she could not log back in all class because she forgot the password
Temp agency sent us someone who was supposed to be a web developer. After he made a change to a web page that was about 3-4 links deep in the site, instead of refreshing it to see the change, he would return to the home page and click on link to link to link to get back to that page.
I work for a software company that has stuck around since the late 80's. This company has managed to stay in business partly because of the quality of the software that was perfect for its particular place in time. It was all based on a command line interface, but worked well. We then came out with a Java based gui system. There were certainly many hurdles, but the most stunning question I ever heard was "why do we have to use a mouse now?"
Witnessed my uncle using a CD-ROM drive as a cup/can holder. He legitimately thought that it's whole purpose was to hold his beverage. I didn't correct him.
Ooo! This is so relevant and it brings back good memories :) I bought my grandmom and pop-pop a laptop, the FIRST ever computer they owned about 7 years ago. I introduced my Grandmom to email and she was thrilled. Then - oh man - on to google. I made the mistake of asking one thing for me to google. She said "prescription pills" and I did it. Suddenly, her world transpired. Links left and right from Canada and online pharmacies and SUCH LOW PRICES and OH MY GOD she was in heaven. She raced to my pop-pop and squealed in delight at the deals that Google ads showed. Literally a FRACTION of the cost for some of their pills. I kinda tried to explain how federal trafficking laws and Google click bait worked but she didn't care, so happy. My pop-pop was also happy as prescription pills for both of them were hundreds of dollars a month. The lawyer in me eventually thought fuck it, they're 90, let them buy whatever they want online. Sadly he passed away before I could really explain how Google ads worked. Rip pop-pop.
My boyfriend is significantly older than me, and while I love him very much, sometimes it's just too ridiculous how computer illiterate he is.
First of all, he still uses a data card on his PC to access the internet. When I suggested to him that now that we lived together he could connect to my internet, he was baffled and said, "Mine doesn't do that." It's a Dell from like 2006 or something -- we can totally get him on the internet. He still is using the data card because "That's too complicated."
He also owns one of those tablets that is basically just a big smartphone. I came home and found him checking his tablet against my Surface, staring at my desktop totally confused. I asked what was up and he was like, "yours is totally different than mine!? how do I get mine to have the stuff yours has?" I ask what he would like to be the same. He points to the icon for a city-building game that I've been playing since the 90's. When I explain it's not going to work out for several reasons, he literally pouted for like an hour because he'd been "lied to" about the capabilities of his computer.
His cell phone is a mess. I used it when mine was out of service the other day, and the only numbers he has saved are his boss, me and his dad, so his text convos all seem to start with "Hey! Here's a thing" and then my boyfriend saying "Who is this?" He also literally never clears his notifications. When I used it the other day I cleared them, thinking I was doing him a favor -- nope, he got really upset. Why? I'm not totally sure.
He insists we turn off the wifi at night, because he swears it'll cook his brain. I have explained multiple times why this is not the case, but it's pointless as he doesn't remotely understand what wifi is or how it works. I used to have a router that made kind of screechy noise, so I would turn it off at night, but when I got a new one I stopped. He said I must be "addicted to the waves"?????
thought the right mouse button was for left handed people. she worked there for 5+ years before she said this out loud to me. I don't even know how she did her job.
My mother in law works on a computer every day of her life as an insurance agent. Yet somehow when we all have her a brand new laptop as a Christmas present couldn't figure out what it was. Oh and she just learned how to use GPS like 3 days ago. I don't get it.
I was in a group chat for a fan forum i used to help run 10 or so years ago and watched in amusement as two tech-illiterate 'friends' trying to work out how to do some simple things and neither understanding each others directions or solutions. I'm pretty sure I saved it somewhere...
I worked at the business school when I was in college, and I was in the accounting/marketing office. And the job was to help out around in the office and especially the marketing chair: Dr. L. Now, I give Dr. L a break because he was born in 1937 but my God, I honestly feel like I was teaching him the basics. I once had him call me in to his office and ask where the emails were, and I glanced down and saw that the page in the middle instead of the top so I scroll up and sure enough, they are all there. He thanks me like I just showed him advanced coding methods. Nicest guy you'll ever meet, but definitely not the IT guy.
phroek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was building a computer for a client. She asked me to put the latest version of the internet on a floppy for her when the computer was delivered.
Nerd514 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
While trying to fix my grandfathers internet, he asked if I have checked the fuse box yet. I said no and a few minutes later, he asked again. It ended after the 4th time he asked with me going down to the basement, then looking really intense at a box I have no clue how to work, then saying something like "nope. it all looks ok down here"
Purrbox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad's head whirls around when I scroll too fast through eBay. Kind of like this.
He's absolutely astounded by USB sticks, and watching things transfer to and from them. If a CD transfers in a few minutes, he's floored and every time he says, "That fast?"
He can't figure out how to add giftcards to Amazon and follow through by purchasing something. I do all of his online shopping for him. (This one is more like he doesn't want to bother with doing it himself.)
Bvred ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once had a woman ask me, which version of Windows does this have?" She was shopping for an iPad
Type this into google, OK: H-T-T-P-COLON-BACKSLASH-BACKSLASH-W-W-W-DOT-<site>/DFLVNDFSIUVBEIFVSEKRJVERSIUVBERSIUFVERKUFHERKJFHUIERNFKUWRAFBURWAFBWEAGYFGWEKAFUGSEBFYGUEGFEYGFEBZFUWEBFJGEWAUFKUBEGAYFKJEFGWAKEUGFWAUGFUKGKFAUGKWFUGUKAWFBCHDSABFWEAGWEYAFVBJEBDAFCJWAFBJWABFAWE/?T=DSFKJVBSUKVBVBDSKJVBFADJGVBFASFVAJSVFS
Telogor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a slash. Backslash is the one that goes the other way.
Whenever I'm showing someone at work how to do something on their computer and instead of taking in what I'm doing, they follow the mouse cursor around like a cat watching a laser pointer, I know I'm going to have a bad time.
Happened today at work. I work in a certain copy shop that got bought out by a shipping company. Anyways, this college age guy(I'm guessing I'm about two years younger than him) comes in and goes directly to our self service printers. There's a small monitor/unit combo beside the printer for you to select the service you need such as printing from USB, making hard copies, or printing from a Dropbox of some sort. (Mind you this thing is literally RIGHT NEXT TO THE PRINTER.) The printer itself has a screen that displays "please insert card" before you insert your card into the separate unit. That display goes away once you put in your payment. This kid stands there looking at the printer, bending and crouching and touching all the seams of the printer, looking for where to put his card in, not even glancing at the instructions posted on the printer itself, literally two feet in front of his face. After observing this go on for a few minutes, I calmly walk up to the separate unit, clear my throat, and tap the unit's screen and select what he needs, which then prompts a screen to come use asking him to insert the card into the unit, with a diagram and everything. "Ohhhhh haha, that's where the card goes." Absolutely unbelievable.
Neafie2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Please come dust off my laptop.
Said by an elementary (year 1-5) teacher with a masters in education. The laptop was also only a 1 month old.
murpes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A customer asking me for "anti-bacterial diskette cases."
233C ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
This guy used to come into the library where I worked, and always needed help on the most simple internet tasks. He would walk all the way up to the desk to ask things like:
"Yeah, how do I get back to what I was looking at?" Usually that one was how to use the back button in the browser or on any webpage.
"How do I pause my video?"
"How do I play my video?"
"How do I copy and paste this text?"
etc. I have the patience of a saint, though. Every single time he asked, he always needed me to show him how to do it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All the dumb end-users who still - since 1995, have not learned the universal sign for power on, and power off - and these are developers and programmers too - not some 99 year old nana.
I worked at Kinko's in the self service computer department. I've seen a few things.
There was the customer who wrote her resume in Excel.
Then there was the customer who, instead of putting the floppy disk into the drive slot, managed to jam it into a seam in the computer's case.
But my favorite was when I was talking the customer through opening a document, and I told her to "click the mouse". She picked it up and pointed it at the screen like a TV remote while clicking the button with her thumb.
phforNZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Our high school implemented some software to restrict students' access to websites (in particular, Neopets and Stickdeath/Xiaoxiao).
So the IT "department" (guy looked like the South Park WoW player) got it all set up. It worked, until I noticed that he hadn't blocked access to the program itself... One simply closes the program, and has access to all the glories of the internet (shareware Doom install!).
My mum tried to check her emails by typing in her email address in the search bar lol
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Last year a family member got their first laptop, ever. Called me really confused how to login, they typed their username and pointed at the button. Turns out they had never, in their life, used a trackpad. Didn't know to tap it to click.
El-HaaK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Coworker of mine did not know that you could create folders within folders. His entire desktop was a mass of folders.
arfool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
when I was 16 my dad knocked on my door at midnight. I woke up and worried something had happened.
Someone trying to type a number in with the function keys and then complaining that it didn't work. To this day I can't figure out if they didn't see the regular number keys right below, or assumed they both did the same thing and found nothing weird about there being a 12 key.
Tech support guy that helped me a few weeks ago would probably consider ME the most illiterate thing.
Seriously though, I just couldnt understand his accent. I had no idea what he was wanting me to check or the steps he was wanting me to follow. It sounded like he was pinching his nose and talking with a lisp.
maybe it was a speech impediment, I dont know, I know hire the handicap is huge. We were patient with each other and the issue finally got resolved.
egdip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at an Apple Store. Customer came in complaining that her iPod Nano (6th generation) screen wasn't working but she could sync songs to it and play them, just that the screen was frozen.
I peeled off the fake icon sticker on the front of the screen that is used for presentation in the packaging.
Zye2011 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I volunteered at a retirement home a long while ago. I was tasked with helping a few of the elderly figure out how to make and check emails to talk with family. I told one guy he needed to take the mouse and double click on the little e to open the Internet first. I lost it when he picked it up and hit the screen twice with the mouse.
New job at AT&T about 8 years ago.
Sell an iPhone, make lots of money.
Lady looking at iPhone.
Lady: How much does the iPhone weigh?
Me: Let me check! (run to google)
Me: It weighs (old iPhone weight) grams!
Lady: Hmmm, now how much will it weigh once I fill it with music?
Me: ..........................
Did not make sale.
I once had a dyslexic long term sub for a high school English class and she literally tried, and failed, to write the word "illiterate" on the board for about 5 minutes.
Not really computer illiterate but in college I made the mistake of printing a project right before the class it was due. And got stuck behind someone printing off 50 pages of blank paper. They weren't trying to print a whole powerpoint, just blank paper. They needed blank paper and to them that seemed the easiest way to get it. So I hit cancel opened the tray and gave them their paper.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tutor was trying to show us a video and the sound wasn't working. We kept telling her to check if it was muted but it took someone getting out of their seat and helping her to find that the computer was in fact muted.
Zavy13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is very smart, but not with technology. If we are talking on the phone and say our goodbyes, i have to hang up because she refuses to learn how to press the button.
eetbeaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The HR manager of a private health care company I had worked for a few years ago sent an email to our help desk complaining of a returned message. Since we received her request via email, I asked her to forward me the bounce back or rejection message. She, not knowing what I was talking about was unable to provide it. I asked her how she knew it wasn't delivered to which she informed me that she found the envelope on her desk, returned by Canada Post. That's right, she contacted IT thinking since we are responsible for email, we are responsible for paper mail too.
I used to work in tech repair, so I've seen advanced stupid. My favorite was a teenager came in crying and in a very guilty manner set this burnt up laptop on the table. I'm not talking slightly burned, I'm talking straight up singed, top completely curled, everything melted. She had spilt water on it and her dad had told her she should put it in the oven to dry it off.
Not as bad as what I've read here but I have a friend who can't double space an essay, she literally writes a line, presses enter twice and writes her next line, she does not know how to change the spacing and it bothers me so much because she doesn't let me help her. Ugh.
ive had 3 off the top of my head that i can partially divulge.
1) customer couldnt get internet to work. i dont see their modem as online in our system. i ask if its plugged in, and i get the stereotypical 'its wireless, why do i need to plug it in' response.
2) another customer, no internet situation. this time i see their modem is online. i ask if they have any wavy bars or bars that look like steps in the bottom right corner of their screen where the clock is. i manage to convince them we have this secret software that doesnt require internet by typing a run command that will auto-direct them to our support site for a remote connection. turns out they were connected the entire time, and trying to log in with AOL. i tried not to audibly lol.
3) another customer, berated me for a good 20-30 minutes that our hardware was junk, pieces of shit, etc. no internet. long story short, he had plugged in his surge protector in to itself.
bonus 4) not really customer illiteracy, but field tech incompetence. elderly couple w/ 2 story home, cant make it up/down stairs, they live on the first floor basically. tech installed modem in the upper closet on the 2nd floor. like what the fuck.
Back in high school, I went to my mom's work one day and notice that a co-worker of hers thought that the cd disk drive was a cup holder. She had a can sitting on Pepsi sitting on the open disk drive.
In high school everyone had their own log in and password for the computers. We had at least 4 computer labs and a bunch in the library. Well, I guess the geniuses in charge of all these computers didn't know that screen savers have that name for a reason. When the computers weren't being used they just sat there with the grey log in box up against the standard Windows XP background. Sure enough, just about every computer in the building had that log in box's ghostly image permanently burnt into the screen.
Years ago when I put in my 2 weeks notice, the company hired a graphics designer to replace me and I was to help get him up to speed with the photoshop process. During a 1-on-1 showing him the ropes, I minimized photoshop for a second. We switched seats, he had no idea how to maximize photoshop, he just clicked around the desktop.
Mum signed up for Facebook with the email address assigned to her by her ISP.
She got upgraded to a new plan and given a new email address by her ISP.
Complained she couldn't log into Facebook any more. Absolutely refused to understand when I explained that just because her email address had changed, that didn't mean her Facebook log in had changed.
๐ซ
guy272 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A classmate in my Graphic Design class was having trouble turning on her computer, I watched as she mashed the monitor button on and off for about 2-3 minutes before she asked me for help.
I looked down, found the computer's "on" button, and pressed it...
I oversee one of the team's designing apps and sites for one of the major Wall St banks. Despite a plethora of persuasive studies and statistics to the contrary, our main client contact, a woman in her 60s in charge of digital, is absolutely convinced no one scrolls on the Internet. Her reasoning? Because she doesn't.
My family has Cox as their internet provider. When you have Cox as your provider you can download and install McAfee for free, which the men in my family have done. They complain about their computers running slow and being stupid etc and I tell them to get rid of McAfee. "But I've had it for x years!" "What about viruses?" Just because you have had it for 10 years doesn't mean it's good.. I try to get them on better Antivirus softwares like Windows Defender, but they insist that because it's a paid for software that is given to them for free, it's good. They are stubborn and think that they are experts on technology, which makes convincing them even more difficult.
I was a student at a hospital working with intelligent healthcare professionals. One of the elderly employees asked me to show her how I was taking notes. I didn't understand. She asked how I was typing in the box in the corner of my screen.
I was on my grandpa's computer, and came up and wanted to check his email. So I open a New Tab and open his email. He proceeds to close out the whole window and open the gmail shortcut on his desktop. Which sent us back to gmail.
Wifes co-worker was trying to move the USB cable for an external hard drive backup from one computer to another. I happened to be stopping by and she mention it feels like it's connected but asked why it seems loose. Because she had connected it to the serial port.
I am probably a little late to this party, but: good friend's boyfriend could not understand how email attachments worked.
Friend: okay Joseph, I'm going to email your paper to AprilRLudgate and you can go over to her place and work on your paper while I take my computer to class.
Joseph: but how is my paper going to get on to AprilRLudgate's computer, I wrote it on yours???!
Not quite a computer, but I once captioned a call during which tech support was trying to get my client's TV connection problems sorted out.
The first 30 minutes was a back and forth of "try doing x and then see if anything comes up on the screen" "no nothing happened" until that poor tech support guy realized that the failure point in their communication was that the client was staring at their remote waiting for it to do something, not the TV.
iirc the problem with their TV not working turned out to be that the outlet they'd plugged it into wasn't powered
Coworker asked how to make his browser window bigger (full screen). I said hit F11, so he presses the f key then the 1 key two times. He has other tech blunders but that one got the most laughs.
Yesterday I had to explain to my grandmother how to attach a file to her emails. Lets just say it was a gam changer for her.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad's girlfriend was trying to explain that she saw a website on an ad on television about Masterchef. Her words:
"Saw the website on the telly. Don't know the actual address but it was something like 'dot com dot com slash slash dot com slash dot com'. Something like that."
Never face palmed so hard in my life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It did not happen with me but I read it from some other place.
So this guy went to show his professor some assignment he was working on,after he finished while discussing he left his pendrive on the table but did not put the cover back on it, so the old professor ( don't know if it was sarcastically ) says ,don't leave open like this ,viruses will enter the pd.
dezent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My first job as a it consultant in 2001 was to visit the home of a lawyer that was a good client to us. He had bought a scanner for his home office and could not make it work even if he was the "computer guy" at the office... when i got there i notice that only the power cord is connected.
Me: Seems like the cable disconnected.
Client: There is no cable, this is a wireless scanner!.
Me: ...
Client: There are no more cables in the box!.
Me: I found the cable in the box would you like me to connect it?
Client: Wait a minute, I am thinking about returning the scanner i liked it better when it was wireless.
Me: ...
O___- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A couple months ago, I was at Starbucks just doing some work on my computer, and these two really old ladies (like mid-late 80s) sat down at the table next to me. They seemed really sweet, and just sat there chatting and laughing and drinking their coffee.
After a few minutes, one of the old ladies says to the other, "Ok, ready to get this done?" and pulls out her iPhone and a stack of papers from her purse. Her friend nods yes.
The old lady with the iPhone opens up a new email and looks at her stack of papers. Its a printed out list of email contacts. She starts (PAINFULLY SLOWLY) reading the first email address and typing it into the "To" section of the email on her iPhone. Literally one letter at a time, and reading aloud - and teaching her friend what she is doing.
Next - she gets to the subject line and explains to her friend it should say "Restaurant Party" and types that in - again, painfully slowly.
Finally, she makes her way to the body of the email. She pulls a business card for a restaurant out of her bag. In the body of the email she just writes the whole street address of the restaurant, and that's it. The whole ordeal has taken about 15 minutes - and she finally says "Ok, now I press this button up here to send it."
After that - she gives the phone and the stack of papers to her friend and says "Ok your turn." The friend proceeds to send the exact same email to the second email address on the paper, but was even slower at it and was extremely confused the entire time.
It's at this point I realize that they were planning on spending all afternoon in this Starbucks - to take turns manually typing each email individually. I was trying so hard not to laugh - but it was pretty adorable. After a few minutes, I just leaned over and asked if they wanted help.
The old lady who owned the phone said, "Yeah, uhh I'm not good with computers."
They gave me the list and I wrote one email to the rest of the 35ish contacts on their list in about 5 minutes. They seriously thought I was a magician and bought my second coffee. It was really cute.
the store I work at has a membership program, If you don't have the little card we give you then you can type your phone number in using the credit card machine. At least once a week I have some old person try and write their phone number in the box.
Im not even sure how they think that would work...
I worked in IT support some years ago. Human resources lady calls me and says her computer is broken, the screen is black. I ask her if the computer is on. Just push the button on the big box under your desk. "The modem ?", "You don't have a modem, never mind I'm coming to your office." Turns out her monitor is off. What the hell lady, I get that you don't know shit about computers, that's fine but we are talking about the fundamentals of all electronic equipment, how can you not operate a fucking power switch ? (I didn't actually say that last bit but I thought it very loudly)
Oh boy.
In the neighborhood I live in, everyone knows pretty much everyone else. Somehow, I've become the neighborhood "tech expert," so I get asked for help with all sorts of things. One of the worst I've ever witnessed was when a neighbor of mine asked for help organizing her files. OK, I'm young and poor and she pays well. She didn't even understand the difference between files and folders. She honestly had no clue what the difference between a folder and a Word document was. She also thought that when you downloaded something in Firefox, it "Went up to the little blue arrow." Understandable, but she thought it was only on those pixels or something. Sweet lady, but one of the least tech savvy people I know.
I aid the librarians in my free time at school. One was trying to take an image of words and make it into a pdf. I tried explaining that the file types are different, but I'm pretty sure it all went over her head.
[Here's] an example I just quickly found. It's an image of words. I'm sure there are word detection readers, but I doubted she would even be able to use one, considering she needed to come to me in the first place. In addition, there was a border and symbols not found in a standard language pack. Stuff like that.
Ignoring the messed up link, PDFs work well for images. It may not be ideal but it's not like it's an obscure format that will cause issues for the next recipient.
I have two, both took place at the last office I worked in.
The first was a late 40s woman who NEVER held her mouse correctly. She held it sideways in her hand and constantly struggled to click things on the first try.
The other was while being trained for a new position, on my first day. We did a lot of 1 on 1 training so I was sitting at her desk watching her and taking notes. When she was clicking on a link within the application we were using, she started right clicking on it. She seemed confused why the browser's right click menu was coming up and the link wasn't taking her to another screen. Even more bizzare since I was working with her for over an hour at this point. Her explanation was that her dual monitors were too close together. Took a breath and tried again, this time obviously using the left button on the mouse. I was very taken aback but she moved right along and didn't bring it up again.
If we go by market share 10 years would be more accurate.
They had a grant for technology in the late 80's early 90's but were otherwise a very poor district.
dranide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have to show people on a daily bases how to log into their school email. They then ask me "Well what's my username and password?"
Roont ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We once had this guy come into the shop for computer repairs. We fixed his porno virused box, and in the process, someone removed his knockouts for the CD-ROM bays. He came back in the next day all in an uproar because we removed them, and according to him they "blocked the RF signals that were infecting his computer". We eventually wound up getting so sick of his hissy fit we told him it was an ID10T user interface error we couldn't fix and sent him to our most hated competitor with explicit instructions to inform them of the ID10T user interface error. Hilarity ensued when we got a call a few hours later from our competitor, who was not happy with us at all.
yahzi0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked as desktop support for the city of Boulder years ago. Some old lady called in complaining that her mouse wasn't working properly. I drove to her location with a replacement in hand. Before I got a chance to do anything she immediately showed me how the cursor would only travel a short distance across the screen before stopping. (This is back when mice had balls.) I picked up the mouse, moved it back to the center of the mouse pad and continued moving the cursor to the edge of the screen. She looked at me like I just performed an amazing magic trick! Some people just shouldn't get computers...
10 years ago, my GF (adult, mid-50s) bought a simple calculator. She complained that the clear key did nothing. I peeled off the sticker across the display that had example numbers printed onto clear plastic.
A senior of mine brought his CPU to office to the IT department to make the cloud work in his computer. He felt that cloud worked only in office and he needed special permission to make it work in his home.
I asked a customer to email an order to me, so that I could copy/paste what they wanted into our system. Customer asked for my fax number and claimed that it would be easier for her to fax it. I reluctantly gave her the number.
She printed out an email her boss sent to her with the order info and faxed that to me. Printing and faxing were easier than clicking forward and typing my email address.
I was helping my Dad over the phone, he couldn't get the internet to connect. But he said the screen kept going black. Come to find out he took so long to find things the screen would time out before he could select anything. It was tricky getting him to get to the energy saver page, but when I did he set it to 5 minutes and then we could start working on his internet.
My teacher once tried to copy and paste a youtube video. Not the link, he just right-clicked the video and kept looking for the "copy" option. Also when our class told him to press f5 he pressed the f and the 5 key.
I was a TA for a Web Design class at a high school a few years back, and this girl, absolute airhead, was not getting her work done so the teacher asked me to walk her through it so I start by saying "First, open up My Documents folder" and she replies "Where is My Documents folder?" as she's staring at her desktop screen with the My Documents folder icon staring right back at her.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In new hire training, the trainer walked people through everything step by step...
I mean, literally everything:
"Okay, let's open up skype for business. Go ahead and click on the start menu. It's the circular icon on the bottom left. It has the windows logo on it... it's here, where my cursor is. Alright, now I want you to click on all programs, then you should see a folder called microsoft office 2013, click on that, then double click on skype."
I could go on, but it was at this moment I realized some people in the new hire class were still struggling to do this... and then I realized the trainer actually planned to do all of this with every class, because it was necessary.
An old co-worker of mine who spent 30 years as a warehouse inventory dude for the auto industry was hired through a temp agency to help out with customer service and logistics. My now former boss, who didn't once ask about his computer skills, just saw the "30 years of experience" part on his resume and knee-jerk hired him on the spot. Anyway, second day on the job, he had to let one client know when they could pick up their shipment; I gave him an email address and 30 minutes later, squinting his eyes, face inches from the giant computer screen, he asked me if he was doing this right. I look over with said email address in the URL bar and he didn't understand why nothing was happening when he hit return.
Probably not the worst case, but it was especially annoying to me because this dude was suppose to take some of the weight off of my shoulders. I ended up quitting a month later while the guy had a breakdown and disappeared --later found out he moved to Atlanta without telling anyone, even his own family. Don't know how I was the lucky confidante.
At work today two ladies were trying to find the best price of an item on amazon. They searched for the item on google, clicked on images, found the one they liked (that was an amazon image) and clicked through to amazon. They read the specifications, realized they didn't like it, went to google, searched for the item....repeat. Three more times. They literally had no idea amazon had a search bar.
I walked by my momma in my dad's office looking a little confused, so I went over to look and she was on the google homepage. I asked if she needed help and she said "I can't find the internet".
Recently, as a thirty something I decided to go back to school starting with community college (read cheap). One day I was sitting in class with my much younger classmates while our teacher tried to show us a video. Try as she might she couldn't make the sound work. The younger, more tech savvy, students tried to help: shutting down the browser, rebooting the computer etc. I sat silently watching this circus until I couldn't take it anymore. I got up, walked to the front of the class and turned on the speakers. Voila..we had sound.
My dad has owned a few MBPs and to this day does not know how to create a folder. (Despite having taught it to him multiple times)
...oh, and also, instead of using the two-finger on the trackpad approach, he insists on finding the scrollbar are struggling to scroll one trackpad-length at a time.
I teach older folks how to use cell phones for a living. Some of them are total wizards by the end, but the amount of people that are in their 30s and don't even know how to turn it on baffle me. There is definitely still a market for flip phones.
I sold a guy a pc, and he called me 15 min's later trying to explain that CD's didn't fit in it right.
After going back and forth with him on the phone, I went over to see for myself.
He had placed it on the floor upside down.
0_o
Gansher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend asked for advice on buying a new PC. I asked him what specs his current PC had. He googled an image of his tower case and showed it to me...
once, my lecturer ask me what my email is as he wants to send me our class schedule. i told him my email address. he then proceed to write it on the browser's address field, where you would write a website url. he got confused to why my email cannot be accessed.
he was my programming class lecturer. i was sure that class gonna be interesting. and it did.
I work at a computer repair shop and we had one customer who came in because he had deleted his C drive. His explanation was that he was trying to protect his data from a virus.
My aunt was complaining that none of the pictures she was saving from Facebook were showing up in her pictures folder. I asked her to show me what she was doing, so I could locate the problem.
She was right clicking the pictures and clicking "copy."
Not too bad, but I had an older instructor at a automotive tech school that would hand write all the notes live in class in word using the handwriting. When he was done with a particular point he would bust out the erase tool and erase what he just wrote like it was on a regular old chalkboard.
I'm a Field Tech at a large University, I once delivered a large box of computer Mice to a science lab. I said "I'll just pop the Mice in the store room?" She replied "Oh gosh no, straight in the Blast Freezer please"
A guy in my old office wanted to show me the area on a map where a new road was being built. Instead of pointing out the area with his mouse, he pulled out a Sharpie marker and drew the fucking road on his screen. Stunned, all I could muster was "that's a Sharpie marker" (as if a different kind of marker would make it better) he proceeded to try to rub the ink off the screen by licking the cuff of his shirt and rubbing - it didn't work, but I was real clear on where that new road was going in.
I'm a cable guy, I work in rural areas in the Midwest installing fiber to the home. Literally gig speeds possible and half of these people don't even know what wifi is. They're generally upset that I'm at their homes upgrading their service from DSL to fiber, for free! As far as computer illiterate, I've had customers who don't even know what computers are, how?!?
I work at a financial institution and god help you if you dare suggest to someone over the age of 50 to use our super easy and convenient mobile app or online banking. Half the time their faces fill with rage and they are offended that you'd even suggest they use one of those unsafe computers! No thank you...I will write checks and keep an inaccurate poorly written transaction register!(and come into the institution every other day to ask questions about where their money is and why it doesn't add up).
Woman called the cell phone guy in our IT department (employer distributes work phones to some employees) complaining about a problem with the charger for her Samsung iPhone.
My dads "Girl Friend" aka the bitch once moved my computer mouse when it was on a screen saver and when it went right to the desktop. She started screaming, "I'm sorry I broke your computer!"
Being a computer tech for 15 years...a guy tried for 10 minutes to find the power switch on a tower to turn it on, no kidding, it was the 1" round button on the front marked "Power", it was my brother in law...who died a painful stupid death falling out of a window while drunk.
This happened yesterday our community manager received a call asking him to change the facebook cover picture of the company to a design they emailed him of an upcoming event, he opens the e-mail and the design is square shaped he proceeds to tell them it won't display correctly in that format "ok ill tell the designer that" a little while later they call again he checks the new design and it's the right size this time, informs them that he's going to upload it now, and they say ok don't hang up, upload it fast and when i tell you we're done delete it, we don't want anyone to see it we just want to take a screenshot to present it for approval, what kind of fucking designer is not capable of doing a muck up on photoshop?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
IT prof I had last semester was showing us a website as part of his lecture. He logs into his computer, opens Google Chrome, and the home page is obviously our university website. He starts searching for Google in the search bar at the top of the university page.
Yes, IT prof who manages large scale projects for a worldwide corporation...
My mom payed $60 (about 6-ish years ago i think) for what she thought was virus protection. Turns out it wasn't virus protection and was malware that was taking over the computer and it took me hours to remove.
My Biology teacher sophomore year of highschool was trying to print a ten page test for sixty students. (Thats 600 pages) He needed help because his printer wasnt printing and he kept trying over and over again, but nothing was working. He was printing thousands of pages to the wrong printer. Lmao
dxdifr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in IT support. This happens a lot. Can you you restart your computer? Person comes back 2 seconds later. "Ok it's restarted". Me: "Wait you restarted your computer that fast?" Person: "Yes" (They are powering their monitor off and on)
Whenever my mom signs up for a new account online, (be it social media, banking, whatever...) she hand writes the login credentials, security questions, et al. - which is usually a good thing. Except she keeps it all in a notebook and never updates or crosses out old info, or even labels what it's for. So every time she can't get in, I'm called & often guessing which username goes with which password.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is fact that in 1999, my foster mother searched for the "any" key on her Packard Bell.
I don't normally tell the story because it sounds like I'm trying to bite The Simpsons.
sodiyum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom once asked what the cloud was and how she could put it on her computer.
I work at a pawn shop and I have people return laptops because there's no Internet on them.
dengh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the computer lab in college. Got asked to help someone b/c they couldn't read their homework from their floppy disk. When I got to them, they had folded a 5-1/4" floppy and we're trying to insert the folded floppy into a 3-1/2" drive.
The look on their face when I told them their work was likely gone forever was heartbreaking.
I finally have a true and relevant anecdote! Two weeks ago my great aunt messaged me on Facebook to tell me she had some genealogy information she wanted to share with me. She asked for my physical address(again, over Facebook) so that she could print out an email she received and mail it to me.
I was working at USPACOM in Hawaii in 2006. Working in one of the ops centers. So I am the J6 which is the IT/COMMS department. This army colonel comes up to me and says, "hey 6, hey killer I can't get this computer to work". He's slapping the monitor and unplugging, plugging the cables. I walk over and hit the monitor power button.
Spoke with a women yesterday who was following this checklist but did one step too many, but it still pretty much left the screen exactly the way it needed to be. So she says "It says right click on the details and select print" which is exactly what I did and it printed off exactly what she needed. She was eternally grateful that I had done exactly what the checklist was telling her to do the entire time.
I'm a sales associate in a store that sells tile. 99% of my job involves using a portable POS system on the sales floor (an iPad with a case that has a tag scanner and credit card reader). Everyone is supposed to have their own personal one with a name on it and your email put on there.
One of the newer associates is a guy in his 50s who had never sent an email until the one he sent to apply for this job. His 14-year-old daughter had to do it for him. I walked up on him one day going through emails on an iPad and scratching his head, wondering who all these people were and what were they talking about and should he just delete everything.
Turns out he'd grabbed the one connected to the store manager's email, and couldn't figure out that it was the manager's inbox and not his own. When I asked him why he thought his email would be on the manager's iPad, the answer I got was 'because I'M using it, not Manager! It should switch automatically when I pick it up!'
Alwin_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
During my internship on the HR department of a large hotelchain I once overheard a female coworker tell another coworker "I have to buy a new memorycard for my phone; this one is all filled up. That's like the third one this year I have to replace". When I asked her why she didnt just delete/copy the files and pictures she was amazed that you could do that. I then spent most of the day copying her pictures and files for her and sorting them.
Sires83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Working in mobile phones I get a ton of idiotic issues from older folks. This one isn't the worst but I see it very often and think it's hilarious. Personal phone number on a post it note taped to the back of the phone.
Also when I ask "do you know your Apple ID and password (or gmail)" and I get back a sarcastic scoff, as if for some reason knowing your passwords is beneath them.
Moved my grandpa to win 10, he hated it so I changed the layout to look like 7. He is super happy I got that crappy 10 off and got him back to 7.... He still hasent noticed.. He also hated crome so I changed the chrome Icon to an explorer icon.... Super happy.... Still doesnt know.... The list goes on and on.
Msn got updated and the contact book layout got updated... He swears windows 10 fucked everything up.... He doesn't realize its the same thing he had before. The list goes on, needless to say he thinks hes on windows 7, using explorer and hes happpy.... Nothing has changed.
xprobex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm late to the thread but here it goes.
We had to give presentations in my literature class near the end of the semester. Naturally, we brought our presentations on flash drives or via email to play them off the professor's laptop and present to the class. One kid brought in his desktop. I'm talking a full size machine to present. He said he didn't know how to use a flash drive so he just brought his computer in to present from his computer.
uMinded ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had someone give me directions by pulling out an iphone and manually driving maps to find the location. When I said why not use google maps on the computer the says "oh, google has maps too now?"
brungo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad thought he was so crafty when he was telling me how he got the office suite from work for free. He emailed himself shortcuts of each of the programs. After his rage was tamed when it didn't work, I had to spend quite some time explaining to him what shortcuts are.
18 year old girl, first day of computer class in freshman year of college. For context, we had simple little HP computers with a monitor. Nothing fancy.
The girl who sat next to me looked around at the beginning of class, then glanced at me and whispered, "How do you turn it on?"
My mother. With everything. I will show her step by step how to do something. Write it down carefully, completely foolproof. And she will still ask me to do the shit for her. You stick the SD card in! Folder appears! Drag and drop! Fuck!
I used to work somewhere where I did tech support over the phone for people. One of my customers was not having any problems on his computer but problems knowing how to actually use it. I spent about an hour trying to walk him through how to type things into a text box, how to click on things, etc.
scruit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A user that connected her old parallel port printer by hooking the ears on the port onto the cable. The cable was not plugged in. It didn't quite reach and the user said they thought it was "close enough"
I was trying to explain the print screen button to my father and he was getting mad because the page wasn't printing after he pressed it even though I told him it copies the whole page.
I was working in a small computer store during my last years in highschool (2001-2003), and next to parts and stuff we'd also have a couple pre-build systems.
So one lady walks in, we go through the usual routine of what she's going to need the computer for, what's her budget, etc.
Recommended one of our lower-end systems, she buys it, comes in 2 weeks later, telling me how nice it works. Then she drops the bomb: "only the retractable cup holder seems to be broken, it doesn't go back in and makes funny noises..."
Years ago I was working for a small computer repair shop we would go out and fix the "coffee mug tray" it happen so much we would charge more.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hope this counts. My dad has never been tech savvy and recently made the switch from his old Motorola flip phone to a brand new (to him) s4. He loved it! He could look up music videos, send pictures he finally joined the club. The only issue he had was that his bill was out of control. He calls me and asks "Son what can I do to use less of my data?" I said do you use your wifi when your at the house? (I set it up for him about 2 years prior and he uses it constantly on the laptop and blu ray player.) He says no its LTE not wifi. Haha I never laughed so hard in my life cause he was dead fucking serious. Well needless to say we rectified the problem in a matter of seconds and now he can watch all the porn.
At my work, Finance Manager trying to show a new temp employee something.
Finance Manager: "Ok, now go into My Computer"....
Temp: 'Gets up and walks over to his computer'
Finance Manager: "What... What are you doing?"
Temp: "You said go into YOUR computer!"
HOW!!!!!
Short story; he xoulsnt browse because he didn't realise that his wireless keyboard needed batteries. Took about 7 minutes to get to this point in the conversation.
Quite late to the party. But have heard the story that happened to a friend of a friend of a friend. Let's call him Jim.
While on tech support duty one day, he got call from a customer saying that the coffee cup holder was broken and needed to be replaced. Jim was pretty mulch sure that no computer models came with a coffee holder. After much talking and digging he realized that the customer was using the CD Rom tray as a coffee cup holder. It had broken when a huge coffee mug was placed on it.
noxidc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A users floppy disk wouldn't insert, the user said they tried everything and said that IT was useless and was ready to smash their computer. I went to their computer, turned the floppy disk around so it want facing backwards and inserted it
My mom called asking for help with her iPhone. I was stationed across the country and was in the middle of debarking an aircraft when she called. Told her the easiest thing to do would be to go into iTunes.
I tell her to plug her phone in and describe what she should be looking for. Nope, she says, none of that is coming up. I ask if she's opened the program called iTunes. Yes, she says. So after about ten minutes of troubleshooting I tell her to download iTunes again, maybe there's a problem with the program.
"What do you mean, download iTunes?"
"Just go to the website and click 'download iTunes', mom."
"Oh, your dad doesn't let me download anything on this computer. I'm on iTunes.com, is that not the same thing?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Digital ad designer.
Asked for size requirements in inches.
miahelf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Employee helping customer on rental computer at copy and print shop:
My mom's friend asking if her hard disk is big enough to download the internet so she doesn't have to pay monthly fees.
I don't know how she became an adult because a years back, she was so mad at her daughter's math teacher. "9 multiplied by nothing should be 9 and not zero!"
Nothing made me realize how separate software and hardware were until I took a programming class in high school. Class taught Basic & if the floppy โdidnโt work,โ the teacher would chuck em. Every day I would fish out the floppies, format them and hand them back to him. He didnโt know how to format floppies and just assumed they were bad. He also didnโt know how to run programs from a DOS prompt & was confused about how I could make games appear that werenโt โthere.โ Love scorched earth
my grandpa wanted to purchase a virus protection program online for 19.99 so he pulls out a 20 dollar bill and starts lookin around the computer for a slot to put the money in like a vending machine
My mom trying to calculate her official work . She went through her pile of bills and typed the amount of each employee from each bill into an excel sheet. She then printed off the sheet and used a calculator to find the total. lol
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to look after a computer lab at a university. Computers were on the desk next to the monitor, keyboard and mouse. The monitors would go into power saving mode after a while, so were black.
One day, I had taken a computer away for maintenance. A girl came in and kept hammering the keyboard trying to get the computer out of power saving mode.
I pointed out that there was no computer there, she nodded and kept doing it
Some rotund consultant guy came into my office once and started trying to talk to the computer through the mouse. It was awkward AF when my boss told him to try the keyboard. Got it all on video too.
A lady that works in Product Development at one of the largest hair tool manufacturers has no idea how to open email attachments in gmail.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a client who would say zoogle instead of Google. As in, "yeah libedon can you just zoogle that?"
He was a brain surgeon.
A BRAIN SURGEON
Jepson_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My HTML teacher had no idea what I was doing when he saw me editing the HTML of a web page using inspect element. He is also a member of our school's IT department. Following was an entire year of twice a week one hour sessions of screwing around with my mates.
nmagod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I was in 8th grade and overheard a conversation that only cemented that I was way ahead of the curve on computers
This kid in the "computer class", I don't know the actual name of it, I was too poor to get into it, claimed he had built a computer "with 8 gigahertz of ram".
Edit: this was 1996/1997 and I want to stress that he said those exact words.
Juliss_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Last semester I had the mandatory computer class which teaches you everything from what a mouse does to how to use a USB and a CD player. In my opinion this class is a waste of time but is required to graduate. First day an hour into the class a girl asks how the windows PC turns on, she had been sitting there clicking the on and off button of the monitor obviously failing to turn on the computer. When the teacher finally showed and explained how the computer needed to be turned on her response was "Oh I'm sorry I don't know this cause I have a Mac"
My dad opened his browser (IE), home page was MSN, clicked a toolbar bookmark for Bing, searched for http://www.Google.com, then on Google searched for Gmail.
Windows 95 - some 70 year old soon retiree at job I worked at as an 18 yr old help desk... Had me written up because I didn't put freecell link on her desktop. there was a games folder on said desktop.
Probably a fellow help desk tech was telling users with modem trouble to flip the laptop over and "give it a bop" to see if the spanking fixed the issue. She was sweet but man...
I have an ex-girlfriend. Ex-fiancee actually. You know when you open Chrome, and it has a Google search box as the home page? She would search that for Google EVERY TIME. She literally Googled Google. It made me so fucking mad. I made a lucky escape on that one.
Oh, and here's the kicker. After Googling Google, she would actually click the search result that would take her to the Google homepage. The SAME FUCKING PAGE SHE JUST LEFT.
How some people survive in the digital age I have no idea.
I was recieving stock while part time at a retail clothing store when we were delighted by a visit from our district manager. She was the woman who told us on a biweekly basis to move all the products to the opposite side of the store for no reason. Anyway, she walked over to the computer and within seconds shouted out "WHY ISN'T IT SCROLLING? WHY ISN'T IT SCROLLING?"
I respond a second later, "Is the scroll lock on?" "What?" She threw back and I was a bit far away, so giving her the benefit of the doubt I repeated a bit louder "The scroll lock." This time I am sure she heard me, but to her I was speaking in alien code.
I was dealing with someone who did not know the keys on a keyboard.
Resigned, I left my workstation and walked over to the counter and peered over. The keyboard was old enough to have lights for caps, scroll and num lock and sure enough. I pressed one button and walked away.
The scrolling peril was no more.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not computer, but phone. Got a call just starting my shift.
Customer: MY GODDAMN ALARM WON'T STOP RINGING AND THIS SHIT'S BEING GOING ON FOR 2 HOURS!!!
Me: Sir, can you see a little icon that looks like a clock?
Customer: YEAH BUT WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING DAMMIT.
Me: Sir, press the little clock and press where the time is highlighted.
My college roommate was complaining about how slow the internet was. I told him to unwind and straighten the LAN cables because computer signals are 1s and 0s, and the 1s would get stuck easily if the cables are straight. He stands up and proceeds to straighten out all the cables...
m0c0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Way back when we had dial-up I was explaining the internet to my grandmother. The window that showed the connection minimized itself when the connection was complete. As soon as the window minimized and shrank down into the taskbar, my grandmother looked down at the floor trying to find where the window fell to.
Oh man I work with people about 10 - 20 years older than me.
I created an excel document that would be shared around and wrote a comment to describe the number they need to put in order to generate the correct information. The guy presenting it said, "click this box to see what number to put", without knowing that it's just an excel comment... It automatically pops up when you roll the mouse over on the cell, you don't need to "click on the box."
A coworker of mine just got done transferring files to her original files and replaced the originals. Later, she asked if she could retrieve her old files back. Haha not a chance, you overwrote them.
One of my coworkers excel files wouldn't work because her settings disabled macros. She said, "maybe if I close the shared folder it will work." What does the folder window have anything to do with why the file won't work? Haha
I used to do IP (Basically a subject where we learn how to present documents and touch type) and our teacher was the sort of lady that thought she knew everything about computers....
Anyway, for some reason, my monitor completely shut off without warning whilst I was doing a typing test. The teacher, being the computer genius she is, comes around and asks me:
"Try Ctrl+Alt+Delete"
There was a moment of silence before I decided to move to another computer, and eventually, to another subject.
Just a little one but my mum's BT Wifi was playing up and the signal was dropping out, she asks me 'is it because I have a birthday card in front of the box (router)'
i used to work customer support for a popular online auction site, and one elderly woman found our phone number and said that someone who had bought something offer her kept sending her abusive messages:
Her: His username is [redacted], I want you to suspend his account!
Me: Sure thing - I just need a copy of the messages he's sending you. I don't have access to them, so I'll need you to email me some of the messages he's sent.
Her: I can't, it's too long
Me: I'm sorry? I don't understand?
Her: I don't have the time to type it all out now
Me: That's fine, just copy and paste me a couple of the worst ones and I'll take it from there and we---
Her: Woah woah, slow down son. What the hell do you mean by "copy and paste".
This woman had never heard of copy-and-paste before. She then tells me about how whenever she's had to send someone an email, or copy down down some text, she's opened the windows side by side and typed it out by hand. She was nearly in tears when she realised what "copy and paste" was. She said she'd heard of it, but didn't know what it was and was too embarrassed to ask anyone
Just today a co-worker had to explain to another co-worker that no, you cannot plug your headphones into a USB port in order to listen to music. The man is good at his job, he just doesn't understand computers, or how they work, or what they can do.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I went to see a course counselor (she was in her sixties at least) to get my courses adjusted to a less suicidal schedule.
She clicked on explorer, it immediately defaulted to the size of the last opened screen: a tiny window about 5 inches wide, 3 inches tall (including the task bar).
She navigated the college's course portal in that tiny window. Worse, after long agonizing minutes of her looking through the courses (this involved lots of navigating side to side and up/down), she opened Outlook as well and it opened on top of the explorer window, said something to the effect of "oh dear I did it again" and opened another explorer window (which again opened to the same tiny size) and did the whole course navigation all over again. Then she copied pasted everything on that page into an email, and edited the contents she pasted. Then she went back to the web portal (btw this time she had the foresight to move the window so Outlook wouldn't foil her again), went to my personal course page or whatever it's called, and copied/pasted the edited contents in the email, into the web portal. Basically she used outlook as a sticky note.
I honestly still wonder to this day if she was just bored and wanted to spend an hour messing with younger tech saavy students. I really wanted to just grab the mouse and do it for her omg, but I didn't want to upset someone who would be able to grant me leniency.
My mother seems to be a daily battle towards computer literacy
abcx10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother lent his phone to my mom while we're in korea to keep in contact and meet later on. It turns out my mom never turned on the wifi and had no idea how so we couldn't get in contact for 7 hours waiting for her.
The owner of the company I contract with literally uses his phone to take pictures of his computer screen and then sends the photo to me via text so that I can send it to my email and print it for him. Then he'll read it and throw it in the trash because he "prefers to read from paper".
I just... I can't even. I've tried to tell him there are much easier ways to do that. Like literally 1 step easy and he just says "I'm not a computer person". This guy is somehow a millionaire at 40. It makes me want to blow my brains out.
DL6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friends and I used to host LAN parties. One time we noticed this guy packing up his stuff, right in the middle of a tournament. Go over to see if everything is alright.
Him: No my computer is broken.
Me: Ah, that sucks, what happened?
Him: I lost my IP address
Me: umm...I bet if you just turn it back on it will be fine.
I was updating computers and everyone had to log off. This guy has word, outlook, and a few other windows open. He closes out of all of them before logging off. He then sees the icon for word, outlook, excel, etc at the bar at the bottom of his screen. This makes him think they are still open so he opens everything on the bar at bottom and closes out of them. Then he realizes the icons are still there and says I will let you take care of this. He then stands up and walks away.
Hand to God: I got a call when working the Helpdesk from someone who didn't understand that their computer needed electricity to run. The building lost power and they called in to complain that the PC wasn't on. I had to talk them through finding the power button on the tower before moving to "is it plugged in" and at that point they said they couldn't tell because all the lights had gone out a short time ago.
My first day of college , I'm in a compulsory computing essentials class, this girl walks in with like 20 minutes of class time remaining and sits next to me (only available seat) and just kinda stares into the black screen.
After looking at her in a confused matter I proceeded to ask if she needed any help and she replied with "How can I turn this on? I'm only used to laptops".
My brain facepalmed itself so much that day.
Thief39 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was younger (don't remember) I somehow renamed all the folders to be called DAD . Needles to say it took my parents ages to figure out how to undo.
I do remote break/fix tech support. Someone breaks something, I connect to their computer and fix it. At this point, I've seen it all.
The one I run into daily is inability to open a website. Gotta get people to the site, run the program, so I can connect in the first place. Part of it is because the browsers are jacked up with more toolbars than you see in the funny pictures, part of it is because they lose their minds when they get near technology.
So, I'm gonna give you a way to help. Pick your favorite remote-access application. Got one? Good. Now, how to get mom to download it so you can help her?
Alright. Look at your keyboard. Look at the bottom-left of your keyboard. You'll see 3 keys down there: One labeled CTRL, one with a Windows symbol on it, one labled ALT. You may see a 4th labeled FN, if it's a laptop. Do you see those keys? Great. We're going to be using the one with the little Windows logo on it. Please, press and hold the Windows key, then press R like Romeo, and release both keys. A box pops up in the corner. Now, push the letter 'h' like hotel. Press the letter 'h' like hotel again. Now, push the space bar. Now push the letter 'h' like hotel a 3rd time. Should say hh h in there, right? Great, click OK. Now, a small, rectangular box will pop up in the upper right corner of your screen. Look at the top. Do you see the words HTML Help up there? Great. Look just to the left of that, you'll see an icon that looks like a page of paper and a little yellow question mark. Do you see that? Great. Using your right mouse button, right click on that yellow question mark. Now, using your left mouse button, left click on Jump to URL, it's the second to last item. Now, using your keyboard, type website.com. Click OK.
Pretty much guarantees they'll have an IE-like window up, with no scripting support so it can't be hijacked, that you can talk them through clicking the download button.
Click the Download button. Now look at the bottom of this window, click Run. Click Run again. Click Yes. Read the connection code to me please.
Then just hop on and fix it yourself.
Gets around 99% of hijacks, and it's a very, very 'regular' look to everything that can't be changed.
In middle school, one of the teachers was having trouble getting internet explorer to go full screen. The whole time she was projecting, so she started googling, and I saw that it showed an image of the internet options page. And this was a proper image, with the apply, cancel, and ok button, and the X in the top right. She thought the window was actually open, and tried to close it by clicking on the X on the image, nothing happened, so she then tried to click the cancel or ok button, still nothing happened. She then scrolled down until it was no longer visible, then closed internet explorer altogether, and proceeded with a different lesson.
It felt like, she knew how the windows worked, but couldn't tell if they were actual windows, or pictures of them.
My mom thought the computer became much heavier because of how much "things" I had downloaded on it. Little did she know it was just the accumulated dried up semen on the side.
My boss is extremely illiterate in regards to computers (understandable, as she is older...), but out of the myriad of funny things I have had to explain/deal with, recently we had a false review posted through Google Reviews, and I was telling her about it....and she told me to "call Google". I just started laughing and she didn't understand why. I get that there is probably some form of contact for digital reputation or something, but the way she said it was like, "call the entity known as Google". Funny shit.
twhayes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not necessarily illiterate, but as a reference librarian in the late 90s I had to stop some dude who was printing porn on a dot matrix printer.
The dude was experiencing tantalizing tension with each ziiiiiiip of the printer head.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I shall quote my great-aunt Gertrude, "We ain't got no dot coms."
I used to work at a place with computer rental (not an internet cafe) and a lady came in and because all our computers are PC's she asked "could I use a CD on your computers even though I have a Mac."
Me: " use any computer you like"
She sat down and slid the CD in between an open gap that existed between the CD ROM and the computer case thinking its the CD slot similar to her Mac at home
I don t know if it counts but once my dad was on the computer got up and looked for his phone book for 20 minutes to call the hairdresser.. just google it damnit you re in front of your pc!!
I work for one of the 4 big wireless carriers in the US. I had a lady who bought a new smart phone. Now, we don't have transfer machines anymore, so to transfer pictures when they don't have an SD card and it's not a phone that can support a transfer app, I use Google Photos. Well, we got everything backed up, and our WiFi doesn't work very well, so I said she'd need to connect to her WiFi at home. About an hour later, she calls and I have to talk her through how to connect to her WiFi. Once we get that done, all she has to do is open Google photos because we already signed her in at the store. She keeps telling me that her pictures aren't there, that it's someone else's pictures. I can't figure out for the life of me how that was possible unless she shared a Google account with someone. So she starts talking about someone hacking her phone, and tracking her location and spying on her. She then says she's coming back to the store to show me. She comes in and says she just wants to return it and go back to her old phone. I tell her to let me look at it first, and figure out what was wrong. If you have ever used Google photos, you know the first time you open the app it shows you sample photos...
My grandma saw me use a new monitor and said nice cumputer
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've had a major computer embarrassment one day. I designed a quick birthday invitation on Microsoft Word, copied the whole page, & CTRL+V about 40 times, which made the document 40 pages long, then pressed print.
My mom came up behind me & asked why I didn't just set the printer to print 40 copies. I still turn red when I think about it to this day.
I work as a mechanic. A customer came in complaining of a warning light. I scanned it for codes and found none. She specified that it was in the center of the dash and that it never goes off. She shows me the "light". It was a sticker that said "passenger air bag". She was screaming mad refusing to believe it was a sticker before she left.
Me: Does anything at all happen when you try to turn it on? Sound? A fan?
Customer: Nothing. Here listen.
The customer holds the phone out in front of her and I can hear her repeatedly tapping what I assume was the spacebar.
Me: Okay, but what happens if you press the power button?
Customer: My computer doesn't have a power button.
karter0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Spanish teacher last year didn't know how to use the trackpad on her new laptop the school provided for her. She took it to the library to ask how to use it because she thought there was no cursor
Worked on a team where we went out to field offices replacing dumb terminals to the mainframe with desktop PCs. Employees got classroom PC training while techs replace the hardware at their desks. A common problem for new PC users was moving the mouse; people would run off the mouse pad so move the keyboard over or they would move the pad over to get "more room".
Occasionally someone held the mouse with the cord toward them. The result is you move the moues left, pointer moves right on the screen.
A little teasing happened, all good natured, but reminded people not to feel badly, nobody was born with this skill.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's quite easy to learn basic level stuff, there are courses you can find online that teach basic-intermediate stuff
I worked at a Dell Business Sales call center just out of college and we would regularly get calls from angry small business owners who just received their new computer but it would not turn on... because it was not plugged in.
This was an often enough occurrence that we (in sales) would ask customers if the system was plugged in before transferring to support.
Well hopefully I'm not too late to the party. My grandma called me and left a frantic message about how "Google broke my Microsoft and won't let me view my emails ". She was referencing how when she tried to use chrome to check her Gmail account she couldn't see anything but the sidebar and some garbled text where the emails should be.
I'm baffled. I have no idea what's happening from her explanation so I tell her I'll just come over and fix it. 30 minute drive later I get to her house, go to the computer, open chrome and the browser is zoomed in like 200%. I facepalm, zoom out, show her everything is OK and how to zoom and left after getting a big container of baked goods for my services.
When I was younger I worked in a copy room and one of the office ladies asked if I could make a color copy for her. She handed me a black and white sheet that had pictures of office shirts (so employees could pick which shirts they wanted ordered) and asked me to give her color copies..
My cousin's grandfather was learning how to use a computer. They told him to move the mouse up. He lifted it off the mouse pad. It didn't work. He got upset. He doesn't use computers anymore.
I once worked with a guy who was just terrible with technology. But my favorite story was when I asked him to type a word with the letter E. This was on a keyboard he used everyday.
The computer was a little old, and the letters were beginning to wear off. But it was still very usable.
We changed the password for this computer, and I had him type in "freestyle" and he replied "how do you do this? There's no E on this keyboard"
The top two lines of the E has worn off and he thought the keyboard just had two L's, and had been copying and pasting the letter E every time he needed to use it to type a document.
My digital studies prof (believe it or not) had an app pop up during a lecture. He got flustered (kept minimizing and maximizing the screeen) until he decided to UNPLUG the computer from the power source. The whole class was in shock.
Dguffey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At my school, a teacher plugged printer power cable into he laptop Ethernet port, it just happened to be the perfect size. Then complained that her new power cord was not the same quality as her old charger... Which happened to still be plugged in sitting on her desk.
TehChid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aunt called tech support. They told her to right click. She said it did nothing.
After a few minutes of conversation, the tech guy found out she typed the words "right click".
A lady at work came over to my computer and needed to show me something. She didn't understand minimalizing or tabs so instead she exited out my window and opened a new one just so she could sign in to her email account. I had a lot of stuff up and ready to go on that window, too. Made me so angry.
The GM of an electronics store I worked at years ago asked me for a 250 Jigabyte hard drive once. Also UBS drives etc. She was pretty cool and laid back though, so we never gave her shit about it. She did had a savvy management team who were pleasant to work with, so she never bothered learning the techno stuff. It was still pretty ironic though..
This is the honest truth. Worked IT for a large car dealership(s). Owner was old school cowboy. Was around the year 2K and he finally wanted a computer to use "email". Built him a really good fast PC so no issues. Was tasked to help him "use it" Desktop boots and gives him a login prompt. Give login and PW and he manages to get past it. Then asks to see porn of some kind. "show me lesbians or something" Ah fuck thinking he's messing with me or half serious. Known the guy for years... Top boss so what the fuck. I tell him to use the mouse and double click the browser. Guy literally picks up the mouse and holds it to the monitor and moves it around trying to select/move something. Oh shit. Show how mouse is used and clicking... Soon interrupted by his next of kin big wig and bounce to my next task.
TL;DR big boss uses monitor as mouse pad to do something.
This is a really popular Indian show.
It definitely makes it to the top of computer illiteracy things.
Saph ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably late to the party but I'd still like to mention that one time during a summer job at the PC dept of a big appliances store, a visitor asked me where the Wireless cables were. They were pretty adamant about its existence, too. (Not a router, not a network cable. Wireless cable.)
My dad was using the computer but the space for the mouse on the table wasnt big and as the mouse came to the edge of the table instead of lifting the mouse and putting it forward, he took a random item that he can use as an additional surface for mouse
Snibbet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Got a case from the front desk one morning flagged as critical.
"There is a beeping noise at the front desk and someone from IT needs to get over here ASAP to make it stop"
So I walk to the reception desk and there, directly in front of them, through the clear glass doors, is a maintenance crew using a scissor lift to work on a light fixture. Every time the lift moves it goes "beep, beep, beep"
I point at it and ask the receptionist, "Is that your beeping noise?"
She looks at me like I'm the idiot and says, "I don't know!!"
Return to my desk and mark the case as closed.
hugaw1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That getting a computer course is Bullshit and it's only an excuse to play more games and be worthless in life. My parents
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen a lot of people angrily slam the mouse and slap the computer tower because their computer loads slow. It's not fixing anything, best case scenario you've got to buy a new mouse because you broke it.
holmser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A little late to the party, but here goes. One of my first jobs was working in an AOL call center circa 2000. I had a woman call because the AOL CD wouldn't install, and now it was stuck in the computer. 20 minutes later we determined that she didn't have a CDROM, but had instead cut the CD into a square to put into the 3.5" floppy drive and now it was stuck.
About 15 years ago we bought my grandfather his first computer. Once it booted up my dad told him to click the icon in the lower left hand corner. He responded:
"How do I click?"
Asked for a screenshot from an App on their phone, lady could not figure out how to make a screenshot, so she put her phone on a scanner and send us a scan of her screen....
Walking into my nan rewinding a dvd to the beginning to be returned
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
2016 Computer Engineers working as programmers: Don't know the difference between opening a html page from http:// and double clicking on it from the file manager.
Web dev company. Client called my boss to say the email details for their new domain we had sent them were not working. Boss tries to talk them through it over the phone but woman keeps just insisting she's tried everything and the details are wrong.
Boss reluctantly agrees to drive the 1 and a half hours to go see them. Upon arriving he asks the woman who phoned to show him where she has entered the details.
She shows him the computer with hotmail's homepage open on it. She had been entering her business email into hotmail and it had been rejecting it.
elderly family member got his first computer, spent a day angrily clicking the scroll wheel of his mouse instead of left clicking.
Crotana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Taking cyber security courses at my local CC and there was a lady who was probably mid 50s in there and on the first day of class she couldn't open the zip file that the teacher had given us.
I did customer support for a major internet provider in Belgium for years. I have tons of stories
When asked what they see on their screen I got the answer 'A vase'. She had a vase on top of her screen....
Customer calls to complain she has no internet. After asking different questions regarding the modem we proceed to her computer. I ask her what she sees on her screen; 'it's all black, I can't see a thing'. Turns out she didn't turn her screen on.
Another customer calls to tell he has no internet. Modem is fine so must be a problem with the device he's using to connect to the internet. His laptop fell of a table and cracked his screen. He didn't have internet because his laptop was broken.
Other customers include people who don't know what internet is, don't know how to turn on their computers, computers that were simply not connected....
Just remember another brilliant customer who had difficulties going online. She changed the modem, all cables, she even spent $1000 on a new computer. Turns out all she had to do was connect the modem to the computer....
I need to move your computer(desktop) from this cube to another. Well, do I need to turn it off? Uh, I guess not but it will turn off when I pull the power plug. Well that's inconvenient, can you fix that for next time. Yeah I'll work on that wireless power.
Worked with a small internet company that provided the first home internet in the area. Got a call from and older lady who was having trouble. I told her to click on My Computer and her response was "You say yo computer?"
My favorite was when my dad called me and told me to come to his house after work to fix his computer. Before I left work he called me back and told me there was no need because his girlfriend had fixed it by "changing the batteries".
I asked my mom to research some cupcake recipes and share the links with me... The next day she handed me a piece of paper with a list of 50 website urls handwritten on it.
Pampler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a regulator for a top 20 MSA American city send me an email with a few questions, pretty standard in my job at the time. EXCEPT THAT IT WAS WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS, at the end they signed off with "SORRY FOR ALL THE CAPS". Still unclear whether they didn't know how to turn off caps lock or were just entirely to lazy to retype the email after realizing. Pretty incredible.
My instructor friend had one middle-aged student with his pc hooked up to this big ass projector. He told him.."Sir, move your mouse all the way up.." The cursor didn't budge on the screen. He turns around to find his student with the mouse high above his head and said.."sorry but this is as high as I can go.."
I had a guy take 20 mins of my life trying to help him remote in to work from home and he didn't even have an Internet connection. I wanted to drive to his house and choke him
Our company hired a new HR director a couple of years ago. She would send out the usual, dopey HR emails, like: tips to stay cool in the summer, and time card reminders, etc. Well, the IT guy and I noticed that in each email, the signature block was just slightly different - a change in punctuation, or maybe some italics here and there. It turns out... She was hand typing the entire signature block Every. Single. Time.
spook327 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Guy I knew did the following:
Opened Mozilla.
Searched for a thing.
Couldn't find it.
Closed Mozilla, opened IE.
Searched again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's not a Mozilla browser, there's Mozilla Firefox but not a Mozilla browser
There certainly was at the time. Sometimes things happen in the past.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: People who are simply too stupid and ignorant to learn basic things with computers. I guess this is why many modern IT departments have the 'take-over' function so they don't have to explain things to customers.
When I was in high school my grandma worked payroll for a family run construction company. They were all reasonably intelligent people but had serious issues with technology. Anyways they offered me decent high school money to come see if I can fix their computers. 4 or 5 of their work computers had full hard drives. Not even anything business related, random text documents that never needed to be finished, screen shots of emails. This was on some late 90s PCs so they probably had 10 or 20 gb hard drives. Turns out these poor folks didn't know storage was finite, or that you could delete things.
Training new guy at work. Was my first trainee and he has to go to a website to schedule an appointment for a HR task. I give him the URL and tell him to go to the website. He proceeds to look at the keyboard, then at me, then the screen, then repeat about three times before laughing anxiously. Turns out he has zero idea how to use a computer.
Our job is 80% using a computer 20% sales aka being friendly. Pretty proud of the dude though we got through it and three years later still around; he's doing well for himself.
Uh...I don't know which of these two is better, the woman who we jokingly told (coworkers&me during my IT apprenticeship) that she needs to take her CRT to the scanner to send us a screenshot (stopped her in time), or the one we told, that we have a WLAN-electricity-adapter for her, so that she can use her thinclient as a semi-mobile-pc. She was absolutely fascinated by the broken cut-off electrical connection adapter, with a wlan antenna just shoved into the part, that's not going in the outlet.
Good times...
We messaged the clueless helpdesk guy with messages saying his computer was overheating, he opened up the case and started fanning it with a pad of paper.
falesk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So a friend of mine called me to help her with an audio problem on her laptop. She had a project to turn in and it had sound files that were important and critical to earning a good grade. I had upgraded her computer that night and got the call soon as i got home.
I figured i forgot to install some drivers so ran her through the process STEP BY TINY STEP of downloading and installing them. But nothing.
We went on for about 2 hours installing, deleting, restarting...close to giving up.
Finally we were reaching a breaking point:
" Sorry i really cant seem to figure out whats wrong. It was fine before?"
"Yes! I really need it to work!"
"And your settings are all max?"
"Yes I raised all volumes on the screen! Sigh what can i do?"
"So weird...even when you put the side one on high?"
"What side one?"
"The side volume control....the little wheel?"
"........OH MY GOD ITS WORKING! THAT'S FOR VOLUME!?"
"Are you kidding me!? You didnt know about the wheel!? That took us 2 hours!"
Some how she missed the whole time that she had a volume wheel on her laptop. Its not like it was new she had it for a while! I still rag on her about and we laugh but i dont think ive ever facepalmed so hard.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Watching youtube videos on fullscreen without changing the quality up from 244p.
My step dad asked me how to open and see an email... he had been working from home for years before this and did this everyday but he couldn't figure out to click on inbox and then the email for some reason.
mgn5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An acquaintance that thought that viruses are a natural phenomenon and who was sincerely surprised after hearing that they were made by humans.
My dad once asked me how to forward an email. He didn't even know the terminology for it, so he went on a 15-minute rant to explain what he wanted to be done.
ajr51 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The new sales administrator logged a call about an order entry system I had implemented. She said it was changing the quantity every time she entered a number. Noone on the help desk could understand the problem so I went and saw her. She was obviously annoyed as she showed me the issue. "Look every time I type seven point one (7.1) loads and press enter it changes it to seven point ten (7.10)."
jdfx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I asked an employee from a sister company to send me a PGP key that they should have had on their machine (after a well explained email of what the PGP key was for and how we were going to use it).
They took a screen shot of the key on the desktop and sent me that instead.
Thanks for taking the time to post something completely meaningless instead of posting those stories. I salute you!
Alyneri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A few years a go while I working as a tech for a highschool, A girl came into the office with a "broken laptop screen", she claimed that the machine would not turn on and was beyond repair.
I promptly asked her if she'd charged the Machine.
She replied with,
"I have to do that?"
Keeping a straight face at that point was near impossible.
Honestly though, I think there are worse examples in my time working that job but its certainly the most memorable.
Oooh, oooh, I got this one!
How about the time when we taught officers in my unit to use a computer. One guy sits down, take the mouse and puts it in the floor. To our perplexed looks he replies, "what? Is this not a pedal?"
Or another time when they got into their heads that the server is an actual person on our team and started yelling at him for "crashing all the time"
I was a TA for a Photography/Design course in my HS. One day, a student asked me how to turn in an assignment. "Oh, sure, that's easy.", I thought to myself. I told him to make a folder for the project and put it into the turn in folder conveniently located on the desktop.
He didn't know how. I told him that it was just like in Windows, because I figured Mac was new to this kid. Nope. He literally didn't know how to make a folder.
I have a Logitech track ball mouse that I absolutely adore. I've used one for years now, even for gaming (which somehow infuriated my brother enough that he bought me a Razer mouse.)
I have watched several people, both American and Chinese, attempt to use my mouse...by actually moving the mouse. Even after I carefully explain that they just need to move the ball with their thumb. Every time is still as hilarious as the first time.
m4ple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was in my business class and I had just finished my project. I was bored and decided to go to hackertyper.net to mess about and pass the time. One of friends thought it'd be funny to shout out "He's hacking the mainframe!" and the teacher ended up giving me detention. This is the same teacher who would call the schools IT to turn monitors back on.
I once rang my darling mother (on her cellphone) to catch up and she told me that their street had a power cut so that's why she hadn't called me earlier. Not because her phone had no battery or anything, but because "well the router isn't working cos of the power cut, so we haven't got any wifi at the moment". Mother, two things. I am on the phone to you RIGHT NOW during the power cut. And you, unlike me, grew up with telephones before the invention of the internet. I think she managed to convince herself that everything still worked on dial-up for one mind-blank moment. I haven't stopped teasing her about it when I ring her...
First year taking adminstration assistant in college. More than half the class was completely computer illiterate. A whole damn generation of idiots whose only experience in electronic use was their smart phones and nothing else.
My wife's parents have, on more than one occasion, printed off a document they have received in an email, given it to my wife for us to scan in so we can email it off to somebody else for them...
Was with friends trying to pick a location for our fantasy football draft. Had a friend ask "is your house computer compatible"?
tcarr20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Went to a school for animation, old art lady wanted to learn new age art. She saved out a rendered jpeg as her 3d file instead of .max or whatever it was. She was really arrogant, otherwise I could of felt bad for her atleast.
My supervisor at work asked me where the exclamation mark is on the keyboard, I have no idea how this person is my supervisor, we work in a tech company that builds gaming machines for casinos that have standard pc tech inside
I work in tech now and used to manage tech support in college. Just found out my wife of 13 years, who is decently tech literate, uses only Save As and had no idea each time it created a new document.
I always wondered why she had hundreds of different named documents containing the same thing, but just figured she had some crazy naming convention.
One of our senior management in work can't grasp the concept of switching applications. Instead of switching back to an already open application, she will proceed to open an entirely new instance every single time. As in, she will have almost 100 instances of Outlook, Word, Excel open, inevitably crashing the PC.
This has been explained to her multiple times yet she continues to do it.
My (now) husband, then in college, was finishing his last project ever. I was watching TV. He just started to scream and swearing a lot.
I Come in to check on him, since he's screaming in rage (and probably agony and pain too) and I dare to ask him what's up. He tells me that all his 30+ page work due the next day is all gone. I ask him if he tried to edit is text, the font or whatever and he tells me no.
He managed to trow his chair (and proceeds to make a huge hole in the wall) so he goes out to get calmed down, and I take a look at his project...
It turns out he managed to change the size of the page and the font to make it fit in one single page. I change the font and paper size and it all came back OK.
Back in the 90s people constantly came to me asking about buying a new hard drive, because they were getting "out of memory" errors.
nubitz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An older gentleman who's new computer had the ability to send a fax directly from what was on screen... And him, holding a sheet of paper to the monitor yelling "SEND FAX, SEND FAAAAAX!"
I was working at an Apple Store and someone asked me if they could check their email. They asked me how to get on the Internet and I said you just click this icon, they responded "What is 'click'"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some of us can relate: teachers constantly reminding us to use Internet Explorer
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend was into playing Farmville (some kind of game where you grow stuff and expand your farm) a lot at one point and she would regularly log in to play when her mom was around. She once has her laptop speakers on and one of the cows "mooed" aloud. Her mom looks at the screen over her shoulder and was flabbergasted as to how animals could get into and live inside such a flat machine..
Real estate woman's computer would not turn on. She picks up the mouse and shakes it from side to side to encourage it to work.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My ex-co-workers constantly, even after being shown how to do it cmd+c cmd+v, to highlight and right click to copy then right click to paste. On client calls, where we were supposed to Technical Account Managers. If someone who was supposed to be technical couldn't figure out hot keys showed me something I'd ask for a new rep.
Endulos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Way back in the day, my Mom and I were doing... Something on the PC. I don't really remember WHAT program it was now, but it crashed. And since this was Windows 95 it popped up with the "THIS PROGRAM HAS PERFORMED AN ILLEGAL OPERATION" message.
My Mom saw the "ILLEGAL OPERATION" part and proceeded to flip the fuck out and start raving that the police were on the way and demanded I shut the computer down. She absolutely REFUSED to listen when I said it was just the program performing in a way the computer doesn't like, not an ACTUAL felony.
She called the store where we bought the computer and he told her the same thing I told her. She at least believed him.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad seems to think that learning how to use a PC on a basic level is some amazing feat that would require 16 trillion phds
I used to work tech support right after high school for HP and eventually road runner high speed internet. I feel like I have two worthwhile customer calls to share.
HP owner calls in, "hello yes my computer is broken I think, I've got nothing on the screen and the brain won't turn on" I get it out of her that the brain is the tower finally so I ask her to try all the buttons on the front of the tower and see if any of them work. Nope, nothing, she says. Oh maybe you do have a broken tower I'm thinking. So I ask her to get the serial number off the back of the tower so I can set up a return equipment order and she says "oh hold on a second dear, I'm gonna have to go get a better flashlight, the power's out here and it's too dark behind this desk" .....
Road runner customer calls in, "hey so, i just signed up for internet with you guys, how do I get YouTube and stuff" damn, I think, a really old person literally knows nothing about this and this is going to take forever. I figure I may as well know what kind of computer he has before we get started so I can pull up my Windows / Mac simulator thing we used, so I ask him what brand of computer he has and he says Panasonic. That strikes me as odd but hey maybe Panasonic sold computers in the U.S. (I live in Canada). I ask him to start by clicking on the Windows logo in the bottom left corner of the screen "yeah I can't find that, what are you talking about, there's nothing to click on" so I realize I need to start at the very beginning and say "sir could you please power up your computer" his response - "computer? My buddy told me I don't need a computer, it's cable internet" turns out he just screwed a coax from the wall into his tv and bought a wireless keyboard and mouse and was ready to go, or so he thought.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:21:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that friend is either a terrible person or was dying in the other room from laughing so hard
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone downloading ram
Kilessi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for an the online banking department for The Royal Bank of Scotland back in the day when online banking was still relatively new. Received a call from an old women who could understand why she could not see her deposited funds in her account after claiming to have issued a deposit. Layer into the conversation while trying to piece things together we had to explain that she couldn't feed the CD-Rom drive money and expect it to feed through to here bank..
dogder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait Gerry, every time you want to check your email you open Alta Vista and type 'Please take me to Yahoo mail.' People like you don't deserve the Internet!
A long time ago, with the advent of Fax software (kids, ask your grandparents what a fax is). People were confused with how to use it, and there were cases of people claiming that they held their typed out form up to the computer screen, and hit "fax", but nothing happened. Not sure if this was true, but I would hear about it from several different people.
One thing I witnessed first hand was someone trying to use a mouse. This was in the days when mice had balls in them that rolled around (again, kids ask your grandparents), and I saw one guy hold the mouse in his hand, upside down, and was using the mouse-ball with his thumb...and not very well.
We used to have computer training classes at work, walked by the classroom and saw this lady waving the mouse around in the air. When she wanted to move the cursor sideways she did it on the desk, for up and down she moved it up and down in the air. I watched her trying for several minutes until the teacher noticed and corrected her.
butsuon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So, my dad worked for Apple for a while as tech support. Apparently there was some commercial where the MacBook or something was shown underwater/floating in water or something along those lines and a week after the commercial airs he gets this call...
"Hey, does the MacProduct work underwater like in the commercial?"
"Uhh, no, putting the computer in water will break it."
DrPinus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the mid 90s I was in high-school, sitting in basic computer ed class. The class was held by a repurposed English teacher in her 50's. We were learning all about the mystical inner workings of Microsoft Works (it doesn't).
At one point, one of the girls sitting next to me had a technical problem. Remember, this is the 90s; if you weren't computer literate, everything wrong was a virus.
"Huh", the girl said. "I think I might have a virus."
"A VIRUS?!?!" shrieked our teacher, overhearing the forbidden Word (Works?). She vaulted over her desk, ran over to the nearby wall and ripped open an electrical closet. Without hesitating for a moment and with the lightning speed of a 28.8 baud modem her arm reached in and flipped the main power switch.
Everything went out. The computers, the lights. We sat in near darkness in stunned silence doing our best Travolta gif impression, years before it existed.
Whether there was a standing order to immediately cut power if a computer virus was suspected or if this was her own idea I will never know. I like to think that in her mind, the insidious virus was snaking throughout the school network, and only her immediate and decisive action saved the world from a Terminator scenario. It still won't bring my essay back from the digital grave.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:18:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
tbh I blame those shows that show PC's as a terrifying thing that if you leave it for a second they hack your baby into some baby terminator
DrPinus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not gonna lie, I'd watch that show.
Squixzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother said PS4 is better than PC because "It has a bigger screen"
The typical person over the age of 45 at the grocery store struggling helplessly to use the self-checkout computer as well as the same person trying to drive using a GPS.
I was sent on a call once for a broken monitor. The user showed me to his machine and I went about my usual troubleshooting steps for a broken monitor. I turned the monitor on and went under the desk to check the connections before it warmed up, because I assumed it would show nothing. Whilst I was under the desk I heard "How did you fix it?" To which I responded "What do you mean?"
Turns out that the user had been without a computer for over a week because he didn't turn on his monitor. I felt so bad charging him.
Was helping an old boss move files from one computer to a new one. Had a yahoo mail account and was concerned about losing his email so he insisted that i put the yahoo mail shortcut link from his desktop into a folder so he could put it on a flash drive
My father have still difficulties to understand that he can read his email on any internet connected computer/phone in the world instead of just reading them on a particular device.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in an IT-Department and we get allot of cases. Theres this one lady that comes in from time to time as a therapist, she can never find the "on" button on her pc, her excuse, she has a mac at home.
skuyum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Muy mom thought I was the one changing the Google doodles as I did with the wallpaper
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"Over the phone with my Mother"
Me: okay mom go to www.yahoo.com, type that in that address bar.
Mom: nothing is happening, it says it cant find webpage.
Me: "your internet is working right?"
Mom: yes
Over an hour of this trying to help her get to Yahoo.com getting a little frustrated.
Me: Okay Mom read me back every letter your typing?
Mom: W-W-W-D-O-T-Y-A-H-O-O-D-O-T-C-O-M
Bonig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
This happened just last week: Instead of faxing a bill to my insurance to ask for coverage I sent a scan per e-mail. They apparently printed the attachment and faxed it to themselves. Then they sent a photocopy of the scanned, printed and faxed bill back to me complaining it was illegible and that they were therefore unable to handle my request.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Officemates borrowed my cable for charging. The cable came with my phone. She charged her phone and an app showed the power of brought in by her usb adapter/charger. She returned the cable with her conclusion:
Officemate: "Yup, your cable really came from the manufacturer!"
Me: "What made you say that?"
O: "Because the ampere showed on my phone is maxed out"
M: "You do know that the charge is coming from the charger, not from the cable, yes?"
O: "So that's why I'm getting the same results with my other cables..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Officemate proudly informed me about her discovery that her smartphone was able to transfer files over wifi while her SIM is not plugged.
My co worker had a faulty monitor which needed to be changed by the IT team. She asked them to transfer her desktop arrangement and files to the new monitor.
baevar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My old manager using a excel template, every slight mistake she would close the program, click "do not save" and re open it just to try again...
orbb09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A few months ago at my retail job I changed the screensaver from the default Windows logo blinking around the screen to our logo blinking around the screen. My boss accused me of lutting a virus on the computer to spy on our customers transactions. I had to explain to her what a screensaver was and how I changed it.
A copywriter was having problems with his mouse; he was adamant that the batteries needed replacing. When I went over to check it out, he was moving the wired receiver of the wireless mouse, not the mouse itself.
It was one of those Microsoft receivers, which had the caps lock, num lock, etc. lights on it.
Switched the A and S keys on a colleague's keyboard (while he was AFK and his computer was locked). Upon his return, he kept getting his password wrong until the prank was revealed and his keyboard was 'fixed'.
I have a friend who shall go unnamed, a.k.a. Unnamed Friend or UF. He's a very smart person, always studying, but when it comes to tech, he's about as useful as a chimpansee.
So what he did was, he bought a new laptop. Fancy thing, don't remember the model, but that's not important. What is important is, one day he came to me in class (we were both in university) and said:
UF: BuilderWho, could you help me with something?
Me: Sure, what's up?
UF: Could you take a look at my laptop? Something's wrong with the battery, I have to plug it into the wall or it just shuts off.
Me: Sure, I'll take a look at it in the library.
So off we went, to the library during our break. I'd started to wonder what could be wrong, first trying to check if the battery was plugged in correctly (hard to get wrong, but you never know). So I pick up his laptop, and before I even turn it over I notice how light it is. I shake it a bit to be sure, turn it over, and lo and behold, no battery.
But it gets better.
Me: Well that's your problem, where's the battery?
UF: Isn't it in there?
Me: No it isn't. It's supposed to go here.
UF: What's it look like?
Me: A black bar the shape of this hole. Four gold coloured pins sticking out the side.
UF: Oh that thing! That's the battery?
Me: Yes. Where is it?
UF: I threw it into the bin at home.
Me: What? Why?
UF: I didn't know what it was, and it said 'explosion hazard' on the side, so I thought it was a bomb.
Me: You thought what? Well... maybe you can recuperate it. Just go home tonight and take it back out.
UF: Garbage pickup came this morning.
I just stared at him from that moment on. He was completely, utterly, without a doubt, dead serious. So to recap exactly how bad he fucked up:
He thought the battery of his laptop was a bomb, because of course they would package bombs with laptops.
He threw said bomb into the bin, rather than calling emergency services, which would've made an even better story.
He let said bomb, which he sternly believed was going to explode any moment, be picked up by garbagemen and thrown into the hydraulic compactor of their truck.
tl,dr: Friend thought the battery of his new laptop was a bomb about to explode. Threw it into the bin. Lets it get picked up by garbage disposal. Is surprised his laptop doesn't charge.
I work in web design. A client needed to send me some images for their website. I asked for them to be sent as jpg or png. I recieved an email with 10 images in a PowerPoint slideshow, and of course all the images were compressed to hell.
I called the customer and asked "Can you send them through as just images? Not in PowerPoint, just as an image file."
10 minutes later I got an email: 'Here you go, the ppt is attached, this time I saved with the' reduce file size' option, I hope that's what you wanted!'
I facepalmed for a moment, called back and asked for "Each Image File to be sent through individually, not grouped together in a PowerPoint, but just the images".
You can guess the result. After receiving 4 emails, each with a single PowerPoint presentation containing a single image (still compressed to hell) I gave up, and Google searched for the images they were trying to send (company logos) and just used those instead.
Sometimes I wonder if these customers knew there is more to life than PowerPoint.
My grandfather didn't like that the USB cable connecting his printer felt a little loose in the back of the computer so he decided to superglue the thing in and was then very angry that it then stopped working. He then proclaimed that "they don't make things to last anymore", he was convinced he could then take the printer back to the shop for a full refund despite me telling him the printer itself was fine.
"Hey XXX your computer is running pretty slow today it must be because it's cloudy"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One time my mom was on Facebook, and she called me over, and showed me her computer, and said, "There's something wrong with Facebook! Can you change it back?"
I looked at it, and Facebook had just made it so pictures were displayed differently. I told my mom that I couldn't change it, and then she got angry at me, and grumbled.
My cousin called me once and informed me his pc blue screened and says press any key to continue... He wasn't able to find the any key... Sounds like a blonde joke, however, he is just simple minded and dumb
I turned someone's pc onto higher contrast at work, if you haven't done this before hold - alt, shift and print screen then press enter.
It makes the colours on your screen go funny, they person comes back to her desk and asks what's up with her monitors. "ahh looks like your monitor has run out of ink" so the stupid person picks up the phone and calls our IT department to let them know her screen has run out of ink.
Not related to computers but to cell tech: Sometimes when I go to the old folks home to visit my g-ma, an old lady will come up to me with her phone (not a smart phone, but one of those older cell phones with the buttons), asking me how to adjust the ring volume or asking me to take it off silent, because sometimes their kids/grandkids will silence their phones without un-silencing it.
So remember people, if you go out with older people and fiddle with their phones to silence it, be sure to unfiddle what you fiddled, or you'll screw up their phone volume for weeks to come since they generally have no idea how to undo what you did.
Dutchan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in college, I did a project with this girl. Went to her dorm to get to work, she was drying up from a shower so I just sat at her desk to wait patiently. Her pc was on and her "trash bin" was full so out of habit I just emptied and remarked what I just did.
Next thing you know, the loudest scream I think I've ever heard and her ruining to the desk. I apparently deleted her "important documents" "all her favorite pictures ever" .....yeah.
Yah.....
ytref ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my mom once could not find the power button. then yelled at me for treating her "like an idiot" when i pointed it out to her.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every single thing from this thread has led me to quit a job in the IT industry and instead focus on Arts. People just have so many expectations I'd rather not stress myself with them.
I'm sure this will get buried, but what the hell. Back in college when we were learning C++. There was this guy who was always the wise cracking show it off. Whenever we finished writing a program for the day, the lab assistant allowed us to play on the computer. That involved racing games. Now the size of those games easily touched close to a gig of storage space.So imagine my amusement when I caught the guy trying to copy and paste the game icon on a floppy disc(1.44 Mob) blissfully smiling to himself. I just chuckled and moved on.
I had a powerpoint presentation in highschool. I did it last minute and all the pictures I used were saved as follows. Print Screen the image I googled. Paste it into paint and crop as necessary. I couldn't figure out why it took me 7 floppy disks to turn in a ~20 slide Powerpoint presentation until years later when thinking back how large some of those images must have been.
Not too bad, but an older person recently came into my work (work at a burger place) and her bank had emailed a bunch of barcode vouchers to their customers for this particular burger place. Bless her soul, she printed the entire email out (which took up about 3 pages of paper) even though that was useless because she needed to follow a link on the email to actually get to the barcode.
cmo2832 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:53:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, so I was taking an intro level computer software class at a community college in Richmond, VA. The school being in downtown Richmond, there were definitely a lot of people who didn't have the means to own their own computer.
It was probably the 2nd or 3rd day of class and we were having to go step by step on how to turn on a computer, open the start menu, things like that. No one was really taking it serious, including the instructor. He realized how ridiculous this was to most of us, but regardless we had to go through the steps.
He's got the projector up on the wall showing his computer screen, and when we finish the lesson he tells us to minimize the window on our screens. This older gentleman (50's) in the front raises his hand and asks how to do this, and some people laugh thinking he's joking, as people were making stupid comments throughout the lesson. The instructor didn't take him serious at first, and kind of laughed him off. Then the guy got embarrassed/pissed and had to have some other students show him where to click to minimize the window, and showed him how to pull it back up. Then he proceeds to have a little breakdown, probably feeling overwhelmed.
The instructor pulled him out into the hallway, they had a talk and he left. We didn't see him again, as I'm sure he had to go see a counselor and be placed in some type of remedial computer literacy course. I had a buddy in the class and we were talking about it afterwards and we both felt terrible for the guy, I've never seen someone so out of touch with technology.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My company charges hundreds of dollars an hour for me to drive 2-4hrs to reboot a computer. The system I work on is complicated but its controlled by simple PCs. The most common calls I get are basic questions like "is it plugged in?" "are you sure?" I cant tell you how frustrating it is to know you have to spend your whole morning going to a site for some middle school level crap. I can explain anything to anyone but there is a huge problem when the person on the other end doesn't want to even try to fix the problem. We had a guy fly in from 1000 miles away because a customer had a broken monitor. People are crazy sometimes. I guess we live in a crazy time when something I was proficient in high school is worth a million dollars a year.
Had to teach a new coworker how to copy/paste. She must have lied in the interview because computer literacy is mandatory.
Camo252 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my computer studies course at uni (required for the degree I want to take), had one of the older computer illiterate women grab out her phone out to take a photo of the screen, she then passed on that little tip to the rest of the computer illiterate women, who all then proceeded to start taking photos of their monitor with their phones.
Also had one older lady not know how to make folders, and after being told how, still managed to stuff it up.
I've got a bunch, but the most stunning was when I was remotely supporting a user at their home over the phone and I was trying to walk them through connecting to our support website. I instructed them how to open the Internet browser and where to type the website address. I say "Now type www.", and they respond with "www -what?"
"Dot",
"What's a dot"?"
"A period, a decimal point, the thing at the end of a sentence."
"...uh"
"The button is on the keyboard to the right of the comma"
"..uh"
<Chaos ensues, I can't get this person to find the key on their keyboard>
I hear this person's 4 year old daughter in the background and ask to speak with her instead. I got it done in 2 minutes... :/
I couldn't believe someone didn't know what a period was, and couldn't find it on the keyboard.
I worked for a few months in a high school, one of those fancy ones that decided to replace all books with laptops.
They had an in-house repairshop and they were always overworked. God, I can understand why. To those saying children instinctively understand technology:
- Force shutdown the laptop if a program froze. I don't know what this does to the health of a computer, but at the very least it took fucking forever for them to find their schoolwork and launch all their crap once they had to do this, wasting a lot of time. They honestly did not know about ctrl+alt+del. What the fuck.
- When asked to draw biological systems and name them, one kid put a piece of paper on the laptop monitor and started to trace the outline he could see through the paper. His screen already had some pretty nasty damage.
- All "loan" laptops that were meant for students that had forgotten their own laptop were infested with over multiple viruses/malware (I had to use one and I refused to log in on anything, instead I spent sometime getting malware blockers :< )
- They lacked the general Google-fu to understand what links are worthless and which ones are not.
hexicat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my former students tried to turn on the computer (cpu) by pressing the on button for the monitor..
Colleague wanted to share what was on his iPad screen during a video conference. He started by trying to hold the iPad up to his webcam. When this proved unsuccessful, we suggested he use his iPad to take a screen grab and email it to us. 15 minutes later, we all received an email with a photo attached. It was pretty blurry but we could see that he had used the iPhone to take the photo, the photo was then emailed from his personal email to work email and then forwarded on to us.
A guy seated next to me in my university's computer lab was typing a report in Microsoft Word. He was a really nice & friendly guy and his nickname was Hercules, as he was big into weightlifting.
As he typed up his report, one of the words he entered wasn't spelled correctly, so he went to the spell checker to see his options. Instead of letting spell checker change the word to the correct spelling, he clicked 'Add to Dictionary' and was satisfied that by doing that and removing the squiggly red line, the word was now ok to include in the report.
tl;dr: Nice guy, big muscles, small brain.
Depends on the word though, sometimes that's a viable thing to do. For exampe I often need to do it with obscure technical terms and some uncommon names.
I was helping an older woman finish up her application for the job we had available. She was moving the mouse around and staring at the computer doing nothing. I went up and asked her if she was done or needed help..... she looked at me and said, "I can't find it." I asked "what do you need to find?", she said "the thing on the screen that moves when I move my hand"... she was looking for the mouse pointer. We had 2 monitors, and as the mouse went to the left screen she looked right, the mouse went right and she looked left. This was happening for 5 minutes until I helped her.
We had a babysitter who had her laptop with her when she turned up at our place. I offered to log her onto our wifi so she could use the internet. She said "yes thanks, but I don't have internet, I only need wifi for facebook".
I was a bit puzzled by this response but what the hell, so I logged her onto our wifi, and saw her open up a normal web browser with the home page set to facebook. I said "oh, you do have internet" and she said "no, just facebook". I pointed out that the browser she was using could access the internet but she just said "Oh, I don't want to use my computer for that weird hacking stuff, I just have facebook".
I didn't bother taking it any further.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She was a kind of dumb hippy chick but she was creative and arty and used to be quite good at keeping the kids entertained with painting and making stuff and so on.
A little over 25 years ago, some guy at work picked up a mouse and used it like some kind of voice command thing. I was like "buddy, that ain't how this thing works!" I left before I had a chance to see him no doubt stumble his way though trying to type on the keyboard.
When I went to community college, I was friends with the people who worked at the computer lab in the early 2000's. I spent a lot of time there between classes and witnessed some wild stuff. The thing that baffled me the most was when an older student stuffed a cd-rom into the empty space above the unused plastic panel of a pc tower you remove when adding a disk drive. They forced that fucker so far into the empty slit that we needed pliers to pull it out.
My cousin used to work at a tech support place. One time he got a call from a man who was having issues finding Norton security on his computer. Obviously my cousin's first question was if he put it on his computer to which the man responded yes. So my cousin remoted into his computer to search for the program himself. After going through every nook and cranny on the guy's computer and finding nothing, he starts to ask some more questions. He was finally able to deduce that the man had taken the box the install disc had come in and placed it on top of his tower.
Daltzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was told to teach an old ass chef how to do computer accounting. He had never touched one before and at one point put the mouse on the screen to try to click something. It was amazing. Imagine my fun with trying to teach someone who had never used a computer how to use a system of excel spreadsheets.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Working with an advertisement agency...
Designer sent an email with mockup graphics.
Later on sent an email with the question if we could send the image back so he could continue working on it.
As an IT-support you kinda witness everything possible and it's kinda hard to remember what's the most illiterate thing.
The angry bosses are the worst. They go shit crazy over the phone like "Get over here NOW!" The problem was he couldn't log into webmail because "Your shit is always broken. They never work." etc. etc. Went in and see why he couldn't log in. Let's call this angry boss person John. He had typed in "jhon@emailaddress". I kindly hinted that typing your own name is one of the first things you learn, but some struggle with it even today. That fuctard wasn't even apologizing about being a mad fuck at me for nothing.
Also one dude was super angry over the phone how I had brought him a broken display. I went to his office and I could see from the corridor that on his pretty much empty desk was his power plug lying down (unplugged). I confronted him and tried to look troubled as fuck over his impossible computer issue. He was phasing around nervous and looking at me angrily. I enjoyed the moment a little while then continued to ask him: "do you think your display would be a little less broken if we plugged the power cord?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am now at work where I take care of this autistic guy. Just a few minutes ago he threatened to sue the computer because it was behaving like, and I quote, "a dick and a pussy".
My 7th grade, primary school teacher was calibrating the new interactive whiteboard in our class room for use with her laptop. As she's going through the steps it prompts her to touch four points that are displayed on the screen. So, she proceeds to press with her finger four points that are on her laptop. The laptop did not have a touch screen.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One time I was trying to explain something to a customer. I spent 30 minutes writing up detailed (but very step by step) instructions for how this user could use our forums functions when writing there (this also involved essentially explaining the basics of html coding). Even after all my hard work they didnt understand (English was not their first language) and they blammed me for it. They then called me a bunch of names and said that I was acting superior to them.
Ohh right forgot to mention what it was that I spent all this time explaining - it was how to fix their quotations on a forum website (if they accidentally deleted some of the coding). Everything I had told them previously had failed to register so I just wrote up as straightforward explanation as I could. Still did not register.
vildand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
First time my mom used a mouse I told her that it's movement reflected on the screen, so she lifted it up..
lcafard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I witnessed my grandpa trying to copy a file to another machine. He went to the file and clicked copy, unplugged the mouse and plugged it into the second computer, and tried to click paste on that second computer but it was greyed out.
I used to work outsourced tech support for multiple ISPs back in the day. One day I got a call from a dial up (yes, dial up) customer who said she suddenly couldn't get online after no issues for 5 years. We did all the standard troubleshooting and after multiple calls still couldn't resolve the issue. She was on a Mac and swore she hadn't touched any cables, but finally I had her just tell me what was plugged in to her computer. She said her power cable and the keyboard cable (this was on one of the old school iMacs).
I told her that's impossible, that there must have been a phone cord plugged in at some point for her to have had internet. She swore up and down she'd touched nothing. I finally had her list me the icons at the top of her screen and found she had a wifi icon.
After some more troubleshooting and some questions about her neighborhood we finally determined that she'd been logging on to her neighbors' unsecured wifi for years and had lost internet only recently because her neighbors had moved away.
She'd been paying her ISP for 5 years for Internet and never used it once.
I have a good one. My grandfather always claims he knows computers, and a lot of the time yes he is actually rather computer literate. In his spare time he even teaches elderly people how to do basic things like filing, excel, internet, etc. One of my biggest annoyances is how he handles anything relating to images, whether from an email or google images. His almighty go to function is this fucking thing called a snipping tool. I had to look up what he was going on about. Its basically a glorified print screen, or if your on mac the grab tool, and he uses that to save literally every image. He opens this snipping tool, makes his selection on screen, and saves the images that way... You know never mind about right-click save-as. My god it is painful to hear every time he mentions it. What is it with elderly people and disregarding the easier way to do things with computers.
My friend was trying to figure out how to use an auxiliary cable to play music on a stereo from her phone. I told her "just plug it in and it will work". Several moments passed with no music so I asked her why she didn't put something on. She replied with "you said all I had to do was plug it in!"
She had not actually put on any music, expecting the phone to play it for her.
Someone was in charge of submitting a group assignment for an MBA class. This was the first year that everything had to be uploaded and the systems were designed to take multiple media so there wasn't a prohibition against file sizes or types.
That person uploaded a copy of a Simpsons porn parody video instead of the group assignment. No-one else checked the upload to make sure that it was right.
The group was awarded a zero, meaning that they automatically failed the subject - which was a full-year course that cost $40K in fees.
I used to sell computers and along with the computers we try to upsell Microsoft office. At this point in time Microsoft Office came on a little cardboard card that you would enter the code in and unlock the program. well she cut out a circle in the middle of the card and pushed it into the disc tray of the laptop and then closed it and then came into the store complaining that her disk tray wasn't working after she tried install Microsoft Office. I had to walk away so she didn't see me laughing.
I got called in after my work hours to help a teacher because she was having computer problems. I drive into work and they need to view this powerpoint presentation but cant seem to open anything. At this point they have an entire audience in the cafeteria waiting on this presentation. I start inspecting the computer to see whats going on and literally nothing would open.. not even the start menu. Turns out, the teacher had her purse on the table next to the computer and it was laying on part of the keyboard, holding down the ESC key on the keyboard. Moved the purse and just left without saying anything
jzolli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jason Bourne not turning off the Wifi and bluetooth on the laptop in the new movie
I remember it like it was yesterday. I've always been computer savvy since I was a kid because I sat in my dad's lap when I was 4 and watched him work and played games with him.
In 7th grade I took a computer applications elective to further my knowledge of Microsoft Office. On the first day we sat in front of our computers and were handed a sheet of vocab words we were to explore.
There were some obvious ones like "Copy" and "Paste" but then I got to one I had never heard before, "Word wrap". I asked the girl sitting next to me and she didn't know what it meant either, so I went up to the teacher. For those of you who don't know, word wrap is when you reach the end of the line in a text-editor, like Microsoft Word, and it automatically jumps to the next line for you. I always considered this just a basic part of the program and not a "feature" per se.
I went back to my seat and told the girl next to me, and she replied with, "Oh that's just weird. That's ok, I'll just keep hitting 'return' at the end of the line." She was treating it like a typewriter.
I went up to my teacher again within seconds and said, "I'd like to transfer classes please."
Delta3D ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Saw a guy who thought because he could hold the power button to turn off the PC almost instantly, he thought the same worked to turn it on, so he just stood there holding the power button whilst having that sort of blank look on your face which just looks like "What the fuck am I doing".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:16:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was on monday. The document is in read only I can't print it. I have told this bloke ctrl+p, file print and even print screen. I eventually had to just move him out the way went to the file properties and then change it from read only. That is the senior office tech. He is IT I work in the warehouse. oh yeah I had to wait 4 months for a work email address. It is my name then company name.
These 2 guys in a store having problems with their store program thing. They were talking on the phone and trying to fix it by dictating everything that appears onscreen to the guy on the phone. I was just sitting there waiting for 10+ minutes to get a soda so I got really pissy. I asked them if I could help. I just ran the program in administrator mode and it worked like a charm.
Guys were downloading Norton and AVG through Internet Explorer to "fix" their program. They also had some of those "DLL fixer" and "PC speedup" programs. This is a machine that handles credit card transactions. It's just sad.
When I asked my sister if she wanted a hardware ad blocker on her router (after cleaning her laptop for the xth time) she answered she never has ads on her phone or laptop when browsing the internet.
CA1900 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My old boss (one of the partners) at a law firm I worked at would use his computer as a typewriter. He didn't know how to save, and was confused by the concept.
He would work on a document, sometimes for hours, without saving. When he was done with his draft, he would print it out and hand it to his secretary, so she could retype it with proper formatting.
Yes, I'm serious.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I finished a website for an elderly restaurant owner. Having asked him to refresh the screen to see the updated website, he turned his computer off and then back on, saw no change and informed us that the website remained the same.
Oh and witnessing someone double click a URL to a video, having it open in two separate tabs, then closing the entire window because "the video was glitching."
whtml ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:23:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Summer job i worked at: Printing out like 50 pages of excel tables, correcting it by hand and handing the stack to me to "fix" it in the actual file. The amount of people you could replace in your average office if you just hired people with a brain..
My friends dad asked me to help him edit his resume, but was having trouble pulling it up. After several minutes I walked over to the computer to see what was up, and he had Google open and was looking through the various search results for "dad's resume".
High school history teacher types "www.google.com" into chrome, proceeds to search for YouTube then copies YouTube's URL into the address bar from the search results... At least he was using Chrome.
So I work in IT for a Wealth Management firm and I had recently deployed a new CRM application into production and I was on the phone with a CRM consultant explaining how it needed to be installed.
Me: "so the app will install when users log out, and on their next login, a configuration script will run and it will be installed and setup all done"
Him: "so to test, should I just shut down?"
Me: "shutdown? No I said log off..."
Him: "right, but how can it install if the computer is off?"
Me: "no, you're not listening, it installs while the user is at the login screen. You know, that screen that says 'press Ctrl-Alt-Del to log on'"
Him: "oh I see, so I should restart?"
So turns out I was speaking with a guy who had worked in IT for 10+ years and didn't know how to log off without shutting down.
The guy in the office next to me asked me for help, said the @ symbol was jumping around on his keyboard. He didn't realize he needed to use the shift key. He said he usually emailed from his phone. How he made it this far, mind boggles me.
I worked for an IT Service Desk Manager who was clueless when it came to computers.
When she got a dialog box pop up she would use the mouse to position the pointer over the option she wanted, but rather than click the button on the mouse to activate the selection she would hit the Enter key on the keyboard - activating whatever the default option was. So when what she wanted was the default choice there was no problem, however if it wasn't the default she would log a job and get her computer serviced or replaced. She was the Service Desk Manager!
She also was a horrible bully. She had one of the consultants reprimanded for deleting emails without reading them. The consultant was reading them in preview view (Outlook), and then deleting them but the read receipt was reporting that she had deleted them without reading. I realised straight away what had happened so I went in and demonstrated it, but nope, it didn't matter.
I taught all staff about read receipt settings from then on - especially how to deactivate them.
First: Computer mouse on the screen to move the pointer, no that's not how it works.
Second: "I've run out of space on the mouse pad, how do I click on that bit of the screen?"
One of my lecturers once closed chrome (which opens automatically on their computers, I'm guessing for this reason) to open internet explorer to Bing search Google to search Gmail to check his emails.
In a different lecture he also called in tech support to put a DVD on
trautna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
had a client who "deleted google". he only changed the firefox start page
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of our secretaries once actually asked me where the "ANY" key was on the keyboard.
Turning the Caps Lock button on, pressing the letter, then turning it off after. Holding Shift + the letter didn't make sense to them for making a capital letter. Imagine my frustration while watching them type a long email.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:33:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had a similar conversation in the pub the other day and my mate that did tech support got a call saying their cup holder had broken. He was a bit bemused, as the office didnโt provide any sort of cup holder, but maybe they did and he and he wasnโt aware? The guy with the broken cup holder couldnโt really elaborate any further past โI press the button for the cup holder and it doesnโt workโโฆ anyway, tech support check out the cup holder only to realise the dude was talking about the computerโs CD tray he had been using to place his cup of tea.
This was in the 90's and it was my grandma, so I'm not sure it counts. But my 80 year-old grandma got super into genealogy, which had been made accessible via the Internet pretty easily. She used to get on the Internet all of the time to look at it. Anyway, one day, I hear her yelling for me to come and help her. She was freaking out, talking all of this nonsense about a wallpaper store on the browser, and how they were tricking her into buying all of the wallpapers for the house and she was scared she accidentally bought some. I was thinking, 'well, that's an odd pop-up ad'. She frantically moves away from the computer so I can check it out, and I find out she's just been perusing the desktop display settings looking at wallpapers.
Tech support here. Things that always astonish me is the way users will send you a screenshot.
All us tech support workers know that its a case of prtscn, and then paste. Or alt-prtscn for a single window and then paste. Simple as, done.
But after we received this image... we knew the customer had fucked up. We work on a support log system, and we aim to close all logs within a day. A user logged a call about a real vague and nebulous problem. So we asked for a screenshot. 5 working days went past, so we closed the log as the customer did not respond to any of our chases.
A week later, the log gets reopened. The customer shouts at us down the phone as to why this hasn't been done yet and how it's super urgent. We explained that nobody here received any screenshot after one was requested. He then goes onto explain how he did send one, he went off on some rambling marathon for a few minutes and then hung up the phone.
1 day passes, and we receive a letter addressed to support. (We never received letters.) Inside however, was an SD card. So we put it on a off the grid box just in case it was digital anthrax and lo and behold it was their screenshot. Now, let me explain as best I can the only way this screenshot could have been taken, as she explained how she did it later on.
The customer, got the problem up on her screen, took a photo with her poor quality phone, emailed it to her repographics team, they printed it on some glossy ass paper, sent it to another department for them to digitize, they digitized it, and then saved it as a .gif. They then emailed it back and forth (the email trail was about 17 emails long) until they just gave up and mailed it to IT. Their IT put this one image onto a 64GB SD card, and then sent it back to the customer in question. She then mailed this SD card to us and did not pay postage.
The great thing is that the screenshot was way too low quality for us any human operating on the visible spectrum of light to make out. Turns out after an hour of trying to coax all the details out of her on the phone after witnessing this train wreck, it was user error. And solved within 10 seconds.
The amazing thing is, that this has gone through multiple people. Multiple departments in buildings miles away from each other, and nobody though 'this is fucking stupid'. We reckon it was just to take the piss out of her at this point.
When i was younger, i asked my mother to shut down my pc. She did, but it seemed to be permanent. After sending it to a pc repair shop, they found out that she somehow had shut down one single harddisk(and not even the one with the os on it). I have no idea how she did it by accident.
I worked at a computer store, and a lady brought in her first generation iPad. She was looking to purchase a new case for her device, but I informed that we haven't carried gen 1 iPad cases for awhile, and that none of our cases would fit.
Looking very confused and frustrated she said "But I updated my operating system! Shouldn't the new cases fit!?!?!"
My grandfather came over the house complaining he wasn't feeling well. He was convinced he had the Michelangelo virus.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:36:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in high school I asked my friend where the Desktop was.
๐ฌ
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:36:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think I got one.
All right, this is a story about a girl named Trish and her mother named Kathryn (Not real names of course). Trish was obsessed with downloading ROMs for emulators and playing Runescape while Kathryn was a facebook addict. One day, a trojan gets into their anti-virus-software-free laptop and starts slowing everything down tremendously, because according to them "paying for anti-virus software is pointless"
They argued as to why the computer had a virus, Trish blaming Facebook for the virus and Kathryn blaming Runescape for the virus. I was 14 when I checked it out it out. Turned out it was from the ROM website (DopeROM). After installing AVG (it wasn't cancer back then) and getting rid of them, I was done. The laptop blue-screened about a week later. They of course, argued and blamed Facebook and Runescape respectively. I asked them what they changed on the computer.
"THAT THING YOU DOWNLOADED WAS A VIRUS AND BROKE THE COMPUTER, SO I DELETED IT (AVG Anti-virus)"
Me being 14, I didn't know what to do. They took it to a friend who figured out that it was from a worm and that the RAM card was fried, so instead of letting the dude put a new ram card in it, they told him "Don't bother; it's too much work."
wozzy93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
New kid at my job. He's 19? I think. I told him to save an excel file and email to me. What did I get? A word document with directions on how to get to the excel file. My Documents>Reports>2016>Which ever day it was.
My brother tried installing Itunes on his windows 8, not only did he click a random google search link, he clicked every download button in sight, keep in mind he was about 17-18 at the time, still not knowing basics of internet downloads, i spent hours trying to clean his computer
My mom used to teach intro to computer classes in the late 90s/early 2000s. There was one lady who would always come in and not have her assignments saved to a disk. My mom asked if she kept the disk in a safe place, to which the woman replied, "yes! I keep it on the fridge with a big magnet!" There was also another woman who didn't know how to use a mouse...she held it in the air.
I work at staples. A woman called in and said she bought a computer redently and there is no power button. She got mad when I tried directing her to the power button over the phone, walked in to the store and demanded she spoke to a manager. Without calling a manager over, I turned the computer on and told her I was the one she spoke on the phone with. It was exactly where I told her it should be. On the keyboard base, all the way up in the left corner. She screamed at me and walked out. She was in her late twenties-early thirties.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A guy said things like "the eye can only see 45fps, any higher is undetectable" and "computers aren't better than consoles at video gaming"
Filthy console peasant
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Friend bought a computer because he thought they "automatically" come with internet, complained it is broken when his browser couldn't open Google. he had no idea he need an internet connection. this was back in 2003.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:43:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People who complain about not knowing enough to even begin how to operate Windows, yet refusing to even consider a MAC, because they "don't know about that Apple."
My grandma was going to put the old computer we had at her house in the closet to make more room in the back room. So to separate the computer screen and the computer, she cut the cable.
My grandfather (about 75 years old) once put WD40 into his laptop because he thought it'd fix a problem with the computer (it was either a sound problem or it's start up time), but it ended up making things worse. This was a modern laptop too.
kevpool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once told my grandmother to click the mouse over a certain icon. She picked the mouse up and pressed it against the screen.
He's passionate about cars, and he often fiddles with designs on a copy of Photoshop his 'computer whizz' friend gave him.
He'd zoom in all the way and painstakingly draw pixel by pixel when adjusting his drawings.
One time, he made a mistake, and let out a groan of frustration. Instead of undoing the mistake, he drew over it with the underlying color, thereby 'erasing it'. I promptly grabbed the mouse from him, and proceeded to draw a giant scribble all over his sketch; he nearly fell out of his chair in disbelief. While he was still in a state of shocked silence, I cooly clicked the undo button and, just like that, the scribble disappeared. Mind. Blown.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a plastics factory in the 80s, and this odd looking gay couple walk in to see my boss. The pudgy one in a turtleneck proceeds to pick up the mouse and talk into it like a microphone. Idiot.
bectayl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When my Pop told me "I lost me google! Can you get me another one?!"
Google Chrome no longer supported Windows Vista ๐
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was about 5 or 6 I was at my Grandma and Granddad's house and I asked my technophobic Grandma if I could go on my tech savvy Granddad's computer. Unfortunately he was out at the time so I asked my Grandma to switch it on because I couldn't reach the on button. She said to me "I'm sorry, but I don't know how to switch it on, it's too complicated for me.". This was an early 2000s PC with a huge on button with the on logo printed on the button itself.
I once had a long and convoluted phone conversation with a guy who needed to install some software my company provided. It was back in the days of distributing software by CD, and he needed to kick off the installation manually.
"Step one - just double click on 'My Computer' please"
"How the bloody hell am I supposed to click on your computer?"
It was possibly the longest phone call in the history of telephony.
when I was a kid I went over to my friends house. they had just got a new top of the line XP that day. I remember his mum grabbing the mouse and putting it on the screen and moving it round to control the computer.
InuKaT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:54:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On the first day of grade 10 Computer Science class, the teacher asked "What are some examples of an operating system?".
Of course, people listed different versions of Windows, Mac OS, Linux and some phone operating systems.
He eventually picked on a female student because only male students were answering and she responded with: "Apple?" When the teacher shook his head she changed her answer to "Microsoft".
I'm sure this will have been covered but I used to work with a guy - took me a disturbingly long time to work out why all his emails and documents were riddled with errors - but whenever he used spellcheck he would choose 'add' with all errors! It took us such a long time to work it out as nobody had the patience to watch over his shoulder to work out what he was doing
When I got my second computer, Mum decided to give the old one to my grandparents (who are savvy enough to know how to use their remote controls for both their cable box and TV) so they could use email to contact far away family.
After going over the basics with them and being impressed with how quickly they caught on to it all, my Grandmother comes out with:
"Ok, so how often does it need new [ink]?" thewordsheusedwascolour
There was no printer, she was talking about in the monitor.
A guy in work who always gives us trouble asked to borrow a laptop for a presentation. He came back 10 minutes into his meeting complaining that the USB end of the mouse was too big for the laptop and insisted we give him another. We gave him one to get rid of him but seriously; it is a usb ffs
The same guy another time need one of us to show him how to put a cd into a generic desktop. He figured out how to eject the disc tray but didn't know what to do from there. He tried to push the disc in under the tray while forcing the tray back in.
When I was in Iraq every morning around 8 am they would shut down the generators so we would lose power for about 10 - 15 minutes. So one morning this Lt Col (shit I forgot the abbreviation it's been so long) walks in during that downtime and complains he can't access his outlook and his emails won't update. I'm sitting in a big ass office in the complete dark as well. I look at him and said, "Sir, the fucking power is off, this happens every damn morning, how stupid are you.". He hung his head and walked out my shop.
Aphex93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guy at work accidentally closed a window and then asked me what to do because he thought he deleted the whole program.
A team at my last place collectively thought that Google Earth was a 'live' view. They logged an IT support call asking for someone to help them 'move the satellite about'.
(To be fair to them, what they wanted to do was probably quite achievable (although bear in mind this was back before Street View) but only because Google Earth was such a hugely comprehensive application)
load231 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We design documents like packing slips and invoices. Just recently there was this one guy who wanted us to make changes to this invoice he handed to us. It was one he received from a 3rd party. It wasn't a document we design and he sends out, it was one he received from a completly different company. What are people thinking how this works?
At work my boss decided it would be a good idea to start emailing bills out to clients instead of posting them the old fashioned way because it would save time, paper etc. The solution? Have one of the office girls print off all the accounts, scan them back on to the computer and email them as an attachment. It would take her about 2-3 days each month to do it all this way. They did this up until very recently
My grandpa buys a new SD card for his camera every time an old one is full. He doesn't empty them, at best he copies the files to his computer (actually, I do that for him). He even writes the name of the photo set on the wiring space on the card (like France 2015 or something). Looking story short, he treats SD cards like those old film rolls.
Not really a computer issue but I had an elderly co-worker once as for my help because his calculator wasn't working. We both had a good laugh when I pointed out he was punching numbers into his telephone
Moast13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Recently, I saw a woman on a little machine in a store that you could upload photos to and then crop before printing. She was trying to print out photos she found funny on Facebook, but instead of screenshotting them she had taken a photo with her phone of her entire monitor then manually cropped every single photo she had taken before printing them.
As funny as it was, it was so sweet to see her determination in trying to print off photos
Owen81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
About ten years ago when I worked in an electronics department I had an old lady ask if a computer game came on vhs.
Way back in high school, like in 2000, I offered to help one of my parent's friends upgrade their operating system. She had a tower desk top and decided she was going to insert the disk before I got there to save time. Well instead of opening the cd tray, she thought it was front loaded and jammed the CD in between the drive bays. It fell into her computer and melted over the components. It was completely ruined.
I know I'm late but this story is a standby of mine and it has to be posted.
My grandmother is hardly a computer person and she uses me as her support staff when the need arises. I usually don't mind helping her because the issues that arise are always pretty simple and she feeds me for my trouble.
On a particular occasion i was setting up her router and changing her settings to not broadcast the SSID. A friend of hers had heard about people being able to gain entry to your using the SSID and was very concerned, missing the point of a wireless router entirely.
After I finished she hopped on her email to let her friend know she was now safe. This is where things got interesting...
As she finished sending her email she saw the notification that she had unread email. ..
She closes the window.
She opens a new window.
She types in the address for her email service.
She relogs into her email.
She opens the first unread email.
She repeats 15 times with me watching in horror the entire time.
That poor woman had been doing that for eleven years...
An elderly relative of mine was out on his farm and I was with him and he wanted me to search for something online, so he pointed to my phone and asked me "have you got computer on that?"
He meant have I got google, or any search engine on my phone.
nerotNS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:19:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was called in to a friends house to check why their monitor wasn't getting a picture, and it displayed check signal cable all the time. They assured me that they connected the cable and that they don't understand what's wrong. When I came to their place, I saw that both ends of the VGA cable were plugged in the PC (one in the onboard connector on the motherboard, the other end was in the GPU), and that the only cable connected to the screen is the power supply...
"You see?! The darn thing just won't turn on. I think it's the hard drive." She was trying to turn on just the monitor, & it wasn't even plugged into the wall either.
I'm surprised this isn't already here it's not a specific story, but something I witness frequently among people who should know better...
People who don't know when to double click or single click. I'm 22 and I see this all the time with my co-workers who are in their early 30s. Usually they just double click everywhere and wonder why there's so many draft emails or why they have multiple Windows open of the same program. Confusion only ensues when they click on the wrong window and wonder why their work disappeared.
Didn't actually witness it, but the first time my mum used a fax machine (early 90s I think) she couldn't figure out how to roll the piece of paper small enough to fit down the cable. She thought faxes were physically sent down the cables of the fax machine
I was trying to get my mum to use a tablet once and I said, "Press that red icon on the screen that says "youtube".
She taps the icon for chrome on the opposite side of the screen.
How do you tap the wrong icon when I just pointed right at it?
I had my grandma ask me how many people they had commentating individual football matches on FIFA, as if there was a large call centre and each game was commentated by two people working for the company.
phooool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:24:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Australia's fraudband destruction of the original nbn
my favourite worst is when people think the monitor is the pc (no that cant be mistaken for an all in one) we were upgrading a few pc's in one of our offices and when it came to this user she wouldnt dare let us touch her computer (the monitor) but we could do what we liked to the box sat behind it.
so i migrated her data to the new computer double checked everything was the same down to the location of the desktop shortcuts and she was non the wiser. sometimes other peoples lack of knowledge makes my job easier
This might get buried but...
In college I was volunteering at a school in Tanzania and was teaching Photoshop to some students around my age.
I gave them simple tasks like changing the sky in a photo from grey to blue.
It was taking ages so I came around to check on them and figured out that more than one of them, when they'd make a small mistake, would just shut down the entire computer and reboot it.
Tenth grade, computer practical lectures for Java coding.
Fellow classmate asks me how to get the exclamation mark working on her keyboard. I yell "Shift plus 1". Five minutes later she says it's not working. Go over to her terminal, watched as she pressed shift, released, pressed 1. Over and over again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Woman: I CANT USE YOUR STUPID COMPUTER THE DESK IS TOO SMALL TO REACH THE ICONS.
Stunned silence, then I get up without a word to see whats occurred. I find the mouse swinging by the wire off the edge of the desk and place it back on. "Show me" I say. She sits down determined and drags the mouse over to a document on the far right of the screen and goes over the edge of the desk with the mouse, then looks at me all wide-eyed and lets out a high pitched "SEE?"
I try to have fun with it and tell her to move the keyboard to the left to make space "but I need more space on the RIGHT to reach my icons" she says as she awkwardly holds a book in midair at the end of the desk as a makeshift extension.
I grab the book and guide her through printing the document: song lyrics for this horrible track she had had on repeat for the past hour driving me insane. She politely leaves and suggests we buy better desks with her tax money, this was a LAN Cafe.
I'd like to think I'm computer literate, but whenever I go to shopping malls I have trouble distinguishing between touch screen directories and plain old advertising screens.
I know I'm not the only one because all the advertising screens have other people's fingerprints all over them too.
flitbee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:36:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My 90 year old uncle used to use his mouse this way: he'd see where his cursor was and where he needed to go (say to click My Computer). He'd memorize the path, then take his eyes off the screen, look at his mouse and trace the path as he memorized it. He'd then look back up to see if he was near his target. If not, study the path, memorize, look at his mouse and trace the steps. He'd do this until the cursor was over My Computer. THEN he'd click and flash me a victorious smile. I'd give him a double thumbs up.
I've posted this on Reddit before but I know someone who called me one day with a computer problem. He's younger than I am, about 26. I'm not a computer tech genius by any means, I can just do your average really.
I said sure no problem, what's up?
He says, I'm trying to type my password into this computer but it's only coming up with stars even though I'm pressing the letters.
He also types slower than my gran.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a guy who would type google.com into the address bar, then type "google gmail.com" into the search box on the google homepage just to get to gmail.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:39:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad was convinced that the computer was broken - "There's nothing on the screen!" - turned out he had not switched the monitor on.
Not as bad as quite a few on here considering her age but here it is anyway.
I'd been talking to my gran (87 at the time) about things such as Siri and whatnot that respond to your voice - I'd also chatted with her a few times about AI and Asimov (big fan at the time) but I always assumed she was just listening politely and not really taking any of it in.
A few days later she wanted to have a go at using an ordinary desktop computer and whilst it was booting up I went to get something in another room.
Came back to her holding the mouse like it was a phone and trying to talk to the computer through it; trying to chat with it like you would with someone stood with you in a bus queue or something, asking how its day was going.
Heart-warmingly hilarious.
EDIT: Just remembered another, same gran. One Sunday evening I rang her for a catch-up and she explained what trouble she was having finding something in the shops the day before. I said I could order it for her online through Amazon and get it delivered for the next day, her reply was "Is Amazon open at this time on a Sunday?"
I was summer interning in an office and one of my superiors called me over to take a look at his newly issued office laptop. He said he couldn't get the CD player to work and it was making a strange rattling noise. I really had to work hard to keep my face respectfully straight- it was a removable CD drive and he had just stuck the CD in the bay for the drive...
I used to work at a print shop. People would send us PDFs to print into booklets. We would print them, use a heavier stock for the cover, bind them, and trim them. Then we would ask the customer to stop by to check the proof for the right colors, paper stock, etc. before printing and binding 250 copies. (This was shop on college campus for university staff, not a far walk or drive.) Half of the time they would insist we email the PDF back to them or fax them a black and white version.
x2P ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back when I worked at geek squad, I tried explaining how to open a program to elderly man. He asked me this:
"When you say double click, do you mean press both buttons?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just as faxes came out one of the secretaries tried to fax a sealed envelope with contents
Percyxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nan's first time using a computer. I told her to press the start button. She went to touch it with her finger. I explained she'd need to use the mouse. She picked the mouse up and tried to touch the screen with the mouse.
In her defense it was around the time iPads were becoming popular and having seen me and my brother on our phones a lot, I guess she assumed that they were all touch screen.
Right up until she passed away she would switch the computer on and say loudly exclaim "COMPUTER ON" after pressing the power button. Repeated attempts to tell her that this wasn't needed were wasted efforts.
She had no idea that we were loading paper in to the printer. So when we explained that she was out of paper and would need to wait until we brought some over until she could print, she was shocked to find out that the printer didn't summon paper out of its internal mechanisms.
After she passed, my aunt tried to use the computer to find any files or photos she may have stored (a bit of a long shot, assuming that my Nan could do any sort of file transfers). She found internet explorer riddled with various toolbars.
Once I had a customer that couldn't connect to the wifi, ans she insisted that our wifi was the problem. She made a big stink about it even after we showed her that the wifi was working on our tablets. Turns out that the wifi wasn't even turned on her computer and she hadn't a clue how to turn it on. If you don't know how wifi works, then don't bitch about it. Wish I could say that she was the only one who did this.
xJek0x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:43:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone telling Apple is immune to viruses.
Someone unplugging his mouse to charge his phone and then calling for help because his mouse is broken.
Someone trying to connect to his wi-fi while not at home(that was my uncle)
There's so many example I can think of....
Somebody told that computer are facing the same thing car used to face when it became affordable and comon :
At first the fews people who owned a car knew things about motors, general mecanic and bascially how an engine works, now everyone owns one and pretty much 90% don't know shit and aren't interested in knowing how it works.
Nimsant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have brought some pdf documents on a USB flash to a friend. I insert it into his laptop.
It takes some time to detect the USB storage. So I just wait for it to come up on "my computer" screen.
About 20 seconds later my friend asks me: "Is it safe to take it out now? Maybe the documents are copied already."
CMD/Terminal is for hacking. Almost went to the office because my sixth grade teacher thought I was using it to download "malicious programs"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad is a very intelligent person, but (probably because of that) he's also very stubborn. When it comes to computers, he's largely ignorant, but likes to think that he knows a lot. He's deadset (like many other people's parents on this thread) that "gaming" gives computers viruses. He's tried to explain to me so many times now that if I play a game, it infects our internet and slows it down. Yeah, he thinks people hack into massive hundreds-of-million dollar companies for the SOLE PURPOSE of slowing down our internet. I know about bandwidth usage and such, but I actually play a lot fewer games than he thinks, and most of them are offline. The times when I seriously play games are typically when nobody else is in the house/using the Internet anyways.
He also is the type of person to want the best of everything, so after I bought an Asus G75VW for games (like 4-5 years ago), a couple of months later, he bought an Asus G750 basically solely for Internet browsing. If you don't know, this laptop is ~10lbs and has like 1.5hrs battery life max. It also didn't have an SSD, which would've majorly been useful to him
On an induction I asked a new starter to select an icon on the computer and they started jabbing the icon on the screen with their index finger. So I asked them to use the mouse whilst pointing at it and they picked up the stapler instead.
My Grandma is saving up for a 3D printer because she thinks that YouTube videos will print as DVDs and that she can somehow profit. We have tried telling her
Working tech-support at my high school, circa 1999. One of our regulars is named Mrs. Bird. She is balding, but she appears to be unaware of it. She's also unaware of ALL OF THE TECHNOLOGIES.
Anyway, Mrs. Bird tromps into the tech support office one day. She shoves a floppy disk in my face (for the youngins out there, it resembles the "save" icon in many games.)
I look at the floppy disk in her outstretched hand, and follow the hand, up the arm, to her frilly blouse patterned with cartoonish pictures of cats, and finally to her frantic and confused looking old lady face.
"Put the internet on this disk" she says.
"The internet?"
tut "Yes. The internet."
"All of it?"
rolls eyes "Of course!"
I took the floppy. Copied and pasted a shortcut to internet explorer on it. Handed it back to her. She snatched it like a seagull snatches a cocktail shrimp from a careless tourist, and scampered down the hall.
Gotta be when someone was having issues with her printer because she tried to plug the usb cable into her computer's ethernet port.
gmkeros ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Got a call on a Saturday, at just after 6am (I blame lack of coffee for how long it took me to solve this). The new receptionist of the company I support. She said she could not log into Lotus Notes. She said she was logged into the computer, but that she could not start Lotus Notes. Remote connection didn't seem to work, and she didn't seem to be able to follow my instructions as to where to click to solve the issue at all.
After 10 minutes of hitting a brick wall I finally realized what the problem was: when she said she was logged in or that she "was in" Windows she meant that she was on the login screen for Windows. She just had ignored all the other questions I asked about it, and had agreed with everything that seemed about right.
I reset her Windows password, and she was able to log in.
5 minutes later I get another call. Now she really wasn't able to login to Lotus Notes. (at least she found the icon for that on her desktop). So I helped her with that.
5 minutes after THAT she calls again. She says she wants to start a flight simulator that they have installed on the computer, and she doesn't know how. My alarm bells ring. Flight simulator? A game? Which they just installed on a company machine?
Turns out it was a version of the helicopter flash game which someone for some reason had put into a powerpoint presentation. She needed help starting the presentation.
A woman I work with was sitting at her computer and stood up, walked out of her cubicle and into the hallway so she could check the time on the analog clock on the wall. She complained about having to do that the entire time.
bytie1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:51:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me - move your mouse to the icon on the right of the screen.
Teacher in training class - I can't move it there.
Me - why not?
Teacher - my desk doesn't isn't long enough.
Look over and her mouse is at the edge of the desk...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:51:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My boss was not sure why the iMessage that he and his wife were sending out and received were showing up on his daughters macbook.
He had same apple id on all three of them. He is a computer science graduate and was a professor.
My Aunt (older lady in her 60s) bought her first computer second hand from her neighbours. It used to belong to their teenage son (important later) but he'd left for university and had asked his parents to sell it on his behalf for some extra funds.
The first bafflingly illiterate thing she did was hold the mouse wrong. She basically held it sideways in "landscape" mode. She couldn't understand why when she pushed it forwards, the onscreen cursor would shoot off to the right. I showed her the right way to hold it, but every time she took her hand off it, when it came time to move it again, she'd go back to trying to use it landscape, grumbling all the while about how tricky the thing was to control. The first couple of times I gave her the benefit of the doubt, the later ones though had me trying my hardest not to facepalm.
The second thing that happened was that when I showed her how to use Windows Explorer to navigate her files / make folders, I saw there was a DVD in the drive labelled "Lesbian House". At first I wondered if Aunty Entrancement was secretly a lesbian. (She's got two grown up kids, but at her age I guess that can happen.) It turned out to be a porn DVD the prior owner had left in the drive. I ejected and binned the DVD right in front of her but she had no idea what it was or what I was doing. (Probably thought I was clearing the cup holder for her.)
TLDR:Older relative holds the mouse sideways and wonders why it's so hard to control. Doesn't notice that she has a lesbian porno in the DVD drive left by it's previous owner.
Kinkzor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:54:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I have 2!
First story:
About 20 years or so ago, I was showing my Auntie how to browse online (I used netscape navigator.. I am old). She was watching me closely, I showed her Altavista (THE search engine pre-google) and how you can search for whatever you like, but then i heard my phone ringing so I left her alone and headed downstairs to answer it.
2 minutes later I come upstairs and she is visibly angry. When I walk in an she just turns to me and says, "Your mouse thingy doesnt bloody well work". I was like, but it worked 2 minutes ago... show me what is wrong.
She then picked up the mouse. Pointed it at the screen...and clicked the buttons frantically.
Second story:
This is not about PCs, but technology. It took place when I was in primary school... about.. 30 years ago. Yes, I am still old.
My mom had a friend who we knew was not the brightest (lovely woman, beautiful in her youth, just thick as a brick). We had just purchased a new "ansaphone" and left it connected as we went on holiday. After 2 weeks we came back and my Father was super excited to hear the mssages we had... he hit play.
What ensued was about 7 minutes of this friend of my mom's saying "Hello. Hello? Helllloooooo? Heeeeeeellllllllllllo!!??!" getting more and more annoyed. She had literaly filled the enitre tape with her "Hellos".
My mom recognised her voice, called her up and asked her why she didn't leave a message. The reply? "Your answering machine is broken. It didn't answer me when I said hello".
I worked for a surgeon who watched me put together a small vacuum with which to clean my keyboard. He asked me what it was and I said it was a Datavac. He then asked me if it was used to suck data from the computer...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:55:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't get this one myself but around the same time supposedly a man called in to tech-support with problems with his foot pedal.
Smh
These are Toshiba laptops running 98 FIRST edition in 1997, mind.
Teaching a senior citizen to use a desktop computer. She picks up the mouse and starts waving it in the air. I gently show her how to leave it on the mousepad and move it around. She is amazed, and says she took a 2 hour class and they never taught her that, and I should be teaching those classes!
Ectar_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:56:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Not computer, but it was mobile phone related.
One of my first real jobs was working customer support for T-Mobile (it was actually One 2 One but T-mobile later bought them out - this shows UK people how long ago it was).
Anyway, mobile phones were just becoming affordable and lots of people were getting pay as you go. This was before the Nokia 3210 took off.
Me:- Hello you're speaking to Ectar how can I help?
Customer:- My phone won't work, It's frozen.
Me:- Ok, we'll we'll do a fault diagnostic, sorry I mean we'll go through some steps to see if we can work out what's wrong.
I then proceed to find out which phone the customer has, so I can advise her how to switch it off and back on (like computers it solves 99% of phone issues).
Customer:- Ok I'm going to switch it off now.....OH! It's made a noise....Good gracious it's lighting up now.. Oh oh what have I done? It's asking for a code, what do I do?
I slowly realize what's happened....
Me:- Ok, try 0000 (default unlock code for that phone)
Customer:- Ah now it says Motorola on the screen... It works now!
Me:- What you've just done is switched your phone on, not switch it off....The problem was that your phone wasn't on.....
We both laugh off what had just happened. she was an older lady and was so relaxed when she realized what the problem was.
Customer had never once switched her phone off. She got it set up in the store and each day would connect it to her charger and charge it over night. She had it just to receive calls and basically had switched it off in error by accident one day. She said calling us was the last resort as she was about to go buy a new phone.
Those days were crazy, most calls we took were either to help people change their language back to English after being pranked by a family member or friend. If it wasn't that, it was the angry parent wanting to know why their child has a ยฃ200+ mobile phone bill (text messages, that's why).
In primary school my classmates were seriously illiterate. They would seriously either A. forget to save and ignore the warnings, or B. always press Save As and make a new name or rewrite the original.
I've also had people touch my gaming computer's monitor with their fingers trying to tap on a file or scroll up. The horrors!
Not exactly the most computer illiterate thing that I've seen, but given the fact that the person who was having the issue was a computer-savvy gamer, well.
"Hey, I can't get into my heavily modded Arma Server. It just kicks me immediatly"
I go look through the Server, make sure that there's nothing wrong. There's not
"So, have you made sure that you're running the mods that you have on the server?"
He clicked on the school site which was on the fast dial below search bar.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:59:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I watched a guy hunt and peck for every key when he writes. He writes for a living.
Bobby_Ju ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:00:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Maybe ten years ago, I was configuring and installing light terminal clients for employees who got an authorization to work full time from home (to take care of a disabled relative, among other cases).
Some of them were completely new to the computer world. So I had to demo and train them to use their new tools (one or two simple software).
I had only one training session to give, but that day I quickly realized I had to cover every basics beforehand..
So I explain that moving the mouse moves the onscreen cursor, and if you click you can interact with icons on your desktop, then the software, etc..
Then I hear someone telling me "their mouse doesn't work".
So I go there to diagnose the problem, which I quickly understand.
I get the person's hand holding the mouse device and proceeds to put down the device ON the desktop.
This felt like an abracadabra moment, as the person got amazed now seeing her cursor move on her screen.
Tl;dr 1 : trained people for their new company software, one of them didn't understand why the cursor didn't move when waving the mouse in air.
2nd story which happened to a colleague :
She had to train users for new software environment (SAP).
She goes to the "howto do purchasing orders" chapter.
In SAP, there's an input box where you can write shortcuts commands (known as transaction codes) to launch different programs. This input field is maybe 8 characters long.
So she asks the audience to write the "me21n" command into the box.
She waits for a minute while drawing the next explanation diagram, but she still hears keystrokes once she's finished (she only asked to type 5 characters so...).
Then a girl asks for assistance because "the command shortcut doesn't completely fit the input box size".
My colleague is like "wtf" inside, as you can go up to maybe a dozen characters there. So she proceeds to see what's going on with that girl, asks for her to try again.
The girls starts typing the command again, out loud : "M.. E.. N.. N.. N.. N.. N.. N.. N.. N.. (and so on...)..
See ? It doesn't fit !"
Tl;dr 2 : a trainee is requested to write a 5 characters long command in a small input field, "ME21n". She tried to type M, E and 21x times the N letter.
Inhouse programmed application, user complaned it was running too slow. Looks the programmer of the shoulder, and say happily: "No wonder it is running so slow, all those commented lines slow it down. Take those out!"
My mother thought websites like Amazon and online banking could only be accessed during open hours.
oaiaaia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:04:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Working as a customer/tech support about 5 years ago:
me: "please select the product and click the add button to add it to your basket"
her: "product? what is a product? please don't use technical terms with me!"
Muff03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:06:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We'd always mess with one guys screen and turn everything upside down when he wasn't looking or was away from the desk.
First time we did it, he got so pissed off, we could hear him going nuts and banging around in the office, just freaking out. But wouldn't ask anyone for help. We left him be for a few minutes and then I casually strolled in....
He'd finally just grabbed the monitor, flipped the whole thing on it's head and leaned it against the wall! Cables everywhere and desk in a mess.
That was a good day.
21719 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:06:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once my father told me to clean the dusts on my computer or else it will get infected with viruses.
Ashkela ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother would completely reformat her computer every time she was just supposed to restart it after an update. And if she accidentally deleted an icon off the desktop, she'd reinstall the entire program. MY FATHER WAS A COMPUTER ENGINEER.
Filled out a bunch of health insurance for a company wide switchover. The plant was full of hundreds of people. The lady was astonished that I used the tab key to breeze through it saying no one else did that.
Late to the game but an older friend complained that Chrome was slow on her smartphone. I look at it and she has 100+ tabs open. She never closed any tabs.
She also wasn't getting text messages for about two weeks. She was going to factory reset the phone. Thinking about it for a minute, I ask her if she's ever deleted any messages. She says no. So I tell her to try that and it worked.
I had a user that showed me how she was restarting her PC, as it was stuck on a load screen.
She literally turned off the PC screen, waited for the longest few seconds of my life and turned it on back again, turned to me and said "See? I told you that it is not working even when I restart the PC"
I have never facepalm internally so hard in my life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:10:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom loved using the chatrooms on AOL, but this kills your email. Spam forever.
I came in and my mother was painstakingly typing a rather long and professional response to each piece of spam asking to be removed from the mailing list.
I tried to explain that there were no people on the other end and her pleas would go ignored.
This didn't work so I showed her how to copy and paste text. "Oh thanks! This is so much quicker!"
Work with really cool IT guys: They got a call for a computer not working... All checks being done they tipped the desktop box & water pours out. They were like... "Um why is there water coming out of your computer". With a deadpan face she says "Before it stopped I was working really, really hard ... maybe it is sweat"??
They lost their shit and she admitted it was a cup of water that spilled and got into the cabinet. Good times!!
Tried to show my grandmother (who had two masters degrees in english literature and history) a facebook photo of her other grandson to which she starts screaming " THATS KEENAN! THATS KEENAN! HOW DO THEY HAVE HIS PICTURE?! THEY DONT HAVE MY PICTURE DO THEY? DO THEY HAVE MY PICTURE?" my mom had to take her out of the room and calm her down.
Had a old school commercial manager join the company. Was pricing up a job, gave him the template to just insert the quantity in and it's spit out the total. He proceeded to massacre my spreadsheet with by using a calculator to work out the total then overwrite the formula in the total column
I called my tech support team because I couldn't log on to a workstation....the guy on the phone simply said, "You do know that your capslock is on, right?"
ArdRi6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a Call Center in D.C. that included Federal Government customers. I got a call from a woman that her computer didn't work after moving it into a new office. It was my fault of course. I told her that we did nothing on our side. And we would have to bill her department if we dispatched a tech. She said that she would recheck on her side. I kept checking to see if her service restored. It finally did. She called back 45 minutes later. It turns out that she plugged her extension cord into itself. I thanked her for calling back with the update.
Arwen02 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was trying to teach my grandmothers new husband, Denny, how to check his gmail. After showing him multiple times how to get to Gmail and log in, he once called me to the computer and said it wasn't working. So I told him to show me what he was doing. I proceeded to watch him open the browser, and type "denny" into the search bar. When it didn't come up with his gmail, he got frustrated and said, "see?! It's not working!"
I had a teacher who got a Google cardboard. She couldn't find out how to assemble it, me being the nerdiest kid in school she asked me. I found a video in literally less than 10 seconds and another teacher assembled it. The teacher praises me to this day. "I would trust you with my house key". That teacher uses Hotmail as well.
My mom asked for help because her web pages wouldn't load. Problem was she only typed the address in the url bar and wait. Without pressing enter or any buttons whatsoever.
I was teaching a supervisor Illustrator. She said, what are all those boxes? I didn't put those there. I had to explain to her that they were toolbars and not actual boxes on her document.
Call from a user asking what their username was for a database we had in place. I explained that the username format is "firstname_lastname" (using their name of course). After repeated failed attempts, I visited said user's desk to determine that they had no idea what an underscore was and were trying to use firstnameunderscorelastname as their username.
jivjov ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:30:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A woman who is in the IT department of the company I work for takes screenshots of images open in an image viewer program and attaches those screenshots to emails, rather than attaching and sending the image itself.
I was signing up a lot of my staff to an app where you could book holidays and it'd alert me and I'd approve or not..
The elderly staff didn't have smart phones so they could do it on the computer in the staff room so I had to teach them.
Anyway you know how when we move the mouse and say it gets to the edge of the table you'd pick it up and place it away from the edge so you can carry on scrolling? Well one lady wasn't aware you could do that and she almost broke her wrist trying to angle the mouse without it falling off the edge.
She ended up in hospital and had the next few days off.
d3ba91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:43:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was new joinee at a software company. One of. Colleagues came to me and asked to install Google on his laptop. I was like WTF. Then after some Q&A i understood he was not able go to google home page shown in Chrome starting page as only IE was installed on his laptop.
My friend's mother. Sattring in The Double Click Fail.
Me: Ok, grab the "mouse" with your right hand.
Her: Ok..
Me: Now, move the mouse around. Do you see the "mouse pointer" moving on the screen?
Her: Yes.
Me: Ok, now move the mouse pointer over the "Word" symbol, right there, yes. Now, double click on the left mouse button.
She then proceeds to look down at the mouse, before double clicking, and in the process, moving the mouse pointer from the symbol.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had someone go 'This mouse is broken - when I push it left, the thing goes right and when I push it up the thing goes down"
It's not the fact of the dumb, it's the fact that this person was actually hired to work as a computer operator, managing several servers for a Cable TV company. They were responsible for the running of the systems, yet couldn't fucking mouse.
And no not an older person, but a 20 year old
robotot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Coworker kept getting a printer error and asked me to check it. The printer had no paper in it. Filled up the paper tray and it printed the same document 12 times.
obdes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine was talking to support for her internet on the phone. When they told her to please shut all windows she stood up, closed all windows in the room, sat down again and said "Ok, all closed."
I Just stared fascinated, wondering what she had just done. Only when I later asked her did she realize her mistake.
I have a coworker who, after 8 years of me repeatedly showing her how to do it, still can't attach a file to an email. She also can't put on her out of office after numerous attempts to explain to her how to do it and why she needs to make sure she does it. Every time I show her, she makes notes explaining how to do it... and you never see them again.
She also once spent 10 minutes putting paper in the wrong tray of the printer even though it was telling her on the screen which tray was empty, exactly where the paper needed to go, and what she needed to do in order to replace it. Instead, she just kept putting paper in the wrong tray and wondering why it was beeping at her over and over. I had to walk away, that was a step too far for my patience.
This is not exactly "computer illiterate" but tech illiterate in general.
Sister(sometimes my mom asks me too): why isn't the television working.
Turns out they were trying to watch cable tv, but there was no source.
Television literally had "No Source" in bold size 1000 font on it.
I press the button on the remote which has the word "source".
Of course they don't thank me after that. And when I try to teach them that is not that hard they dismiss me with "you're always on your phone/computer, you're the best at tech stuff. It's bound to be very complicated so I don't want to learn."
In computer class we were learning how to use excel, after our Christmas break where we have been learning excel for 2 weeks prior, a student forgot how to move the little selection box you use. The teacher was as surprised as I was.
Mehnard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Another thing that puzzles me - We use Outlook. When you start a new email, many people just start typing the recipients address in the address bar. After a while, the MRU list will kick in and supply addresses that have been previously used. Replace a computer or just do some general cleanup and the list is cleared. Then I get the inevitable call, "What happened to all my addresses?".
One of my former students (in logic :v) used to write their solutions to the homework on a computer. It was beautiful, all symbols correct, every line and letter correct.
He then proceeded to print them out, photograph each page, and email me the images when he returned his homework.
I ask a 20 years old guy to type 'a' in the keyboard. After a while looking for the 'a' he told me that there was no 'a' in his keyboard. His keyboard only had capital letters.
Came into work one morning and this lovely older lady was in a panic saying how her mouse has gone crazy. I watch the mouse and her hand and notice it isn't tracking normally. Look at her hand and the mouse and she has the sucker upside down where she is clicking with her palm.
I calmly tell her..."Mouse is upside down."
She gasps and flusters and tells me she hasn't had her coffee yet. I don't know how she didn't feel the left and right click weren't there but yeah I believe caffeine deprivation is a thing I guess.
My mum asked me to grab her charger for the laptop I had just charged so I asked why. She pointed to the wifi symbol as we were loosing signal and told me it's about to die.
It was only about 10 years ago when my mother found out that there wasn't an actual "Jeeves" on Ask Jeeves who was filtering all the results for her.
She literally thought someone was personally choosing sites she'd like, and even went to the bother of adding "please" and "thank you" to each search because it would be rude not to do.
An elderly lady at work had received electronic pictures of her grandkids and she asked me how to save them to her work computer. When we got to the part about naming the files, she quite literally gave human names to all the jpeg files. A picture of her granddaughter she named "Bill" and another picture of a grandkid she randomly named the file as "Jeff." I just let it go.
My former boss (woman in her mid-70s) once told me she "can't find Google. How do I get to Google?" After watching her show me what she meant, it turned out that she was used to browsers that had Google as the homepage and opened to it when clicked. She didn't know what to do if she clicked it and a generic "Top Sites," type of page opened.
Late to the party but the head of ecommerce (!) at my last job couldn't figure out how to set Google as his default search engine so would always get to Google by searching for it in Bing.
Aruy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:15:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of the interns at my workplace asked me how to delete a file on mac. After I showed her she asked me how to bring it back. She is a 22 yo college grad...
blzr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:16:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For university once we had to do some research for a big company. So my now ex-girlfriend decided she wanted to do her research on Google. So she went into google.com, typed google, clicked search and the first link was "google.com" and she clicked it, thinking it will lead her to the company website. I was laughing so hard, while she stared confused at the monitor.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:17:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to teach ctrl-c/x/yz to someone. She was completely rewriting blocks of texts when needed because she didn't know how to copy and paste
Not mine but my friends story:
He was helping his mom use a computer for the first time. He sat her down and showed the keyboard and the mouse. After some basic explanation he said to his mom:
-okey mom, now you place your hand on the mouse and put it in the left corner of the screen.
His mom then lifted the mouse and PRESSED IT AGAINST THE SCREEN OF THE COMPUTER.
There was a moment of silence, followed by a facepalm.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Work in IT. The amount of times I have users who have started a new document, have never saved and worked on it for hours up to days, and losing all of it. Then come to me and ask can you recover?
When I was young and we had progressed from a USB ADSL Modem to a Wireless Modem Router I thought that I needed both modems plugged in at the same time and then wondered why the lights on the modem router started flashing.
Younger still I looked up porn on the computer and forgot to clear the Internet Explorer search history and my Mother found the weird URLs and thankfully never figured out it was me.
I also do some Tech Support on Facebook for some software, numerous times I've asked people to RIGHT click a tray icon near the Windows time, they either left click and say nothing comes up or they give me screenshots of error messages and ask me if that was what I was asking for...
Not my proudest moment. In high school, we had an old computer lab with Apple's (mid 90's, no real color screen, stand alone units). They were all networked together. A few buddies and I went thru, and named all the computers and gave them all generic passwords from Beavis and Butt head. So needless to say, us being somewhat computer nerds, were not the the most popular with jocks.
Me, being in computer lab, see bully jock writing paper. Has been working on it for a good 45 minutes, thinking to myself "bet he didn't save". Log into his station from mine in back of the class, drag hard drive to the garbage, crash his system. Find out he didn't save. Take hard drive out of trash, suggest he try rebooting. Looses everything, a win for the nerds.
To be honest, I sort of regret it as an adult, but at the time my life was made hell from time to time, so felt like a win at the time. Lesson learned, always save your stuff!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:23:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Called my ISP to ask about slow speeds. After about 30 mins on the phone we discovered that I turned on speed limits on my router and forgot about it.
Maybe not tech illiterate, but definitely tech-fucking-stupid
After she learned that the thing beside the typewriter (keyboard) with a tail (wire) coming out of it was called a mouse I said, "Move the mouse up." And she obligingly lifted the mouse straight up into the air. This was a Computer class I taught at an elder center. The student was nearly 80 years old and had never used a computer before. She actually did fairly well compared to some of my students. I considered it a success if some of them were able to learn to play solitaire on a computer. While others were creating spreadsheets to track their finances and writing novels.
Sarriah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:28:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I sent a budget in an excel sheet to a client and they emailed back to ask for a bigger version, since her eyes aren't great.
A book keeper in a company I worked for retyped a spreadsheet twice in one day as she accidentally cleared it. I went to check on her when I heard screaming and swearing as she somehow did it a third time, she bought me a bottle of gin for showing her how to undo.
General manager at the dealership wanted to bring attention to some new promo banners on the fence coming in.
He sends everyone a screenshot of Windows Picture Viewer with the file open.
As the Internet marketing guy, let's just say I was looking for the exits from that regime.
greenmky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Worked at a computer lab at a community college back in '99 or so. Was always helping out the people taking computers 100 or whatever it was (like Intro to computing...how to type stuff and save it, basic file system, etc). Windows 95 era. So I fielded some pretty basic questions. This is the worst I saw.
Guy comes down, says his doc won't print. This happened all the time, janky parallel port print server gadgets would stop working (how we printed in the 90s, don't judge).
Climbed under table, power cycled print server gadget, still no print. Went to user's PC. He showed me, "I tried to print, see? I clicked Edit, Copy, but it didn't print me a copy."
My Grandma, a fairly astute women but in her 90's, can't get her head around the fact that you can login to the same email address at different locations. The family has given up trying to explain and just let her use theirs if she is around.
A_MasKo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:35:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A colleague of a friend of mine thought the cd reader was a can holder and used to keep it ejected with a coke in it
TeunB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:35:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Saw my friends dad sitting at his computer after he 'turned it on'... He was mumble cursing because it didnt work. He just activates the computer screen everytime and sits there without turning on the computer itself :-P
I had to show my mom how to copy text from a webpage and paste it into a word document. She wrote the instructions down and saved it on her desktop so she wouldn't forget.
Took picture of computer screen (some food recipes) with iphone.
Scanned iphone
Printed picture of said iphone.
Turns out he didn't know how to print from web browsers, but he knew how to scan and print pictures. And he stores a copy (recipes, lyrics, bills, pictures,etc.) of almost everything in a physical folder. He burns through printers and toners faster than anyone else I know.
A while back I had a coworker who had to be put on light duties because of an injury. I had to teach a 55 year old man how to use a computer for the first time, I knew I was in for it.
One of the first things I had him try to do was to grab the mouse, point it to the browser, double-click to open it up. I had showed him step by step how to do so, and to shout over at me when he had done that, as I was just working across from him.
A few minutes later he yelled out "I can't get this damn thing to work!" When I went over to see why, he grabbed the mouse with one hand, and pointed his finger on the monitor with the other trying to tap the browser icon saying "see I'm pointing on it" and clicking the mouse rapidly.
I don't think I've ever endured such a big facepalm in my life.
My mothers friend who had just finished and passed a 3 year bachelors degree in Information Technology got me around to her house because she had a new computer and didn't know how to install Windows XP on it. She had the disk and everything I pretty much just clicked next 10 or so times =/
In like 2007 my ex-boyfriend was borrowing his step dad's computer. Coincidentally the ads on the sites he normally used changed to those ones where the girl knows what city you're in. Like "Meet sexy singles in [city] today. " We could not explain to him that he did not have a virus and that we did not cause it and he brought it up for almost a year.
Also close your porn. Stop asking me to fix your shit when the browser is full of porn. YOU'RE AT WORK.
Throughout my entire senior year in high school my math teacher could not figure out the back and forward arrows in her browser. She would constantly mix them up or forget what they did entirely.
My grandfather called me once because he was having problems trying to print something. He actually said, "I'm having problems printing something. Does this mean the printer lost connection to the internet?" He thought that because the internet and the printer are both wireless, that meant they were connected.
Installed a color printer at work, user asked if it would still print in B/W.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:42:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My teacher decided that since there wasn't good Wi-Fi coverage in our classroom someone needed to grab his laptop and catch and bring the Wi-Fi into our classroom
Maybe I would've gotten a better report from that teacher if I didn't face palm so obviously...
One time I asked a user to reboot while over the phone. After several minutes of her insisting that she did, while I knew she didn't. I found out she was pressing power on her monitor!
I live in another province and was helping my mom over the phone with her iPad. She'd had it for a year at least ready. I told her to push the home button. "I don't have that button," she argued with me for twenty minutes in spite of me telling her it's a physical button at the bottom, below the screen part. I finally texted her a photo of an iPad with the home button circled.
Tech illiteracy:
I work for a TECH COMPANY.
When Pokemon go came out a few weeks ago kids started walking on company campus to hit a pokestop.
Corporate didn't like civilians being on campus.
The pokestop was assigned to a bench outside one of the buildings.
Corporates solution to get people to stop coming on campus to hit the pokestop...remove the bench...
Again, I WORK FOR A TECH COMPANY!
My dad got his first android smartphone and I showed him how to do the basic things that he uses it for. A few months later, I happened to look over his shoulder and I realized that he forgot about apps and was using the chrome browser to go to gmail.com...
Someone I work with writes everything on the computer in capitals, but she never presses the caps button. She just keeps holding down shift. Not the most illiterate thing but kind of annoying
There once was a paralegal who was tasked with taking a collection of PDF documents, assembling them together into a single document, and [bates numbering] them. The first thing I heard about her project was when she called to ask which of the scanners was likely to work the quickest. After answering her question, I moved on with my day.
Six hours later, she called me in a panic because the scans were all incredibly low quality. Turns out, she'd taken several dozen PDFs consisting of several hundred pages, printed them all out, then produced hundreds of little labels for them and had spent the day painstakingly sticking labels onto pages. Now at the last step in her project, she found that the cycle of scanning and printing had resulting in nearly unreadable print. I was stunned by the story, not because of all the work she was at risk of losing, but that she had spent six hours doing a task that should only take about two minutes. Combining PDFs with acrobat is a right-click menu item and bates labeling is built in. They had been a paralegal for eighteen years and had had access to acrobat pro for at least ten and yet had somehow gone through life that whole time printing and physically labeling stuff.
Explaing how ctrl+c, ctrl+x, ctrl+v worked to a new guy at work. He says "wow, those shortcuts are great! Whats the shortcut for deleting things?"
...
"I usually just use the delete key."
boyuber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:57:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked the IT help desk at a hospital, and a nurse called in with an issue that required a reboot. They said they already rebooted, and it still wasn't working, so they insisted that I come down to look at it. When I arrived, I saw that the pc hasn't been rebooted in 2 weeks. I asked her to show me how she rebooted, and she pressed the button on the monitor.
She was turning the monitor off and on, thinking that was rebooting the pc.
10 years ago a colleague told me her computer was broken. She demonstrated by hitting the monitor on/off button. Turned out IT had taken her tower the night before for upgrades. She didn't even know the tower existed or what it did.
A university student launched a formal complaint that her 'incompetent professor' hadn't scanned class readings properly. This meant that in order to read the pdfs, she had to turn her monitor sideways.
Minor plot twist: I was the 'incompetent professor' in question.
Aeleas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:11:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the absence of any additional information, I'm going to assume she was trying to read them on a phone/tablet while lying on her side with rotation lock off.
When working helpdesk we asked for a screenshot. The user sketched what was on the screen and faxed it over. Error messages, icons, programs opened, toolbar, EVERYTHING.
fanglord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:59:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
1) I spent 2 hours helping a guy reset his Apple ID. He not only couldn't type the password correctly twice, but when he did accomplish this miracle he promptly forgot it
2)I got a call from a woman who thought there was a virus on her computer trying to get her to join netflix. Turned out she opened IE (not even full screen) and it was a Yahoo banner ad that expanded when she moused over it.
I never felt more prepared for a question thread than this one.
I was probably in my second year of college. Mind you, I went to a school literally with science and technology apart of the name. So I'm sitting in a class required for the major, so you can't even blame it on gen ed. We had to download something for class so I was helping him with setting it up and I told him to just make a folder on his desktop. He just stated at his screen. I had to walk this kid though how to make a folder on his desktop. A kid going to college. For a degree that requires in knowing how to use them.
Watching people double click literally everything on the screen and still not realizing that some of those are loading before they get that 2nd click in. I just can't understand how you do not notice the difference especially after I have informed them.
Defavlt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Maybe not computer illiteracy but when I first got on the Internet in 1993 I used to print out all of my emails and read them on the subway like they were actual letters. This was also when every email you got was actually to you, an individual.
When we first got a computer (1995), my brother got it set up, loaded doom, and played for a couple hours. My mom goes down to the basement to tell him to get off the computer and go to bed. He logged out of doom but didn't shut down the computer. My mom just stared at it.
She didn't figure out how to turn off the computer, so she just left it on. It was a good two months before my brother figured out that no one was turning it off.
He brings it up whenever she has a computer problem now, "well ma, did you turn it off and back on again?"
"Joshua, I know how to turn off the computer now!"
The last time she came to visit she tells me she has a Facebook now. Alright cool whatever. Then she precedes to tell me that she doesn't want to see people she doesn't know and how do I turn that off. I had to stifle my laughing as I said, "Ma, it's a social networking site. It's supposed to show you things from your friends friends, that's how it works."
My grandma (87) couldn't figure out why the screen kept going black when she hit a certain button. It was the power button.
TimoCT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:06:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have you tried turning it on and off again?
True story
ceroxis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in IT, and I once had one of our clients saying "But I don't get why the router has all those cables going into it, it's meant to be wireless"
Not really computer illiterate, but we were moving out of our old house about a year ago and I sold the old TV in our basement, which was right next to the Wifi router. Out of coincidence the Wifi stopped working that night and my dad was convinced that if I didn't get the tv back that the Wifi wouldn't work and we had about an hour shouting match about it. I still don't think he understands.
I have taught computer programs to people for 20 years, Adobe, Office, etc.
Me:OK now left click right here...
She: Switches mouse to her left hand.
Mylaur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When someone take a picture of their screen.
But to be fair if you're on PC and you want to send your screenshot of the PC on phone, then it's a little bit more complicated.
2059FF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
20 or so years ago, I witnessed an older co-worker try to put two sheets of paper together, with a sheet of carbon paper in the middle, into the manual feed tray of a laser printer, because he wanted two copies.
My lecturer exited the presentation he was showing us, scrolled down to the next slide, left clicked and dragged his cursor over a URL on the page, right clicked and chose copy. Next, he opened up Internet Explorer, typed in www.google.com, right clicked and hit 'Paste' into the search bar, and then clicked Search - it opened up a page of Google Image search results.
Why he didn't just type in the relevant search term I'll never know, but even more confounding is the fact that the URL he highlighted had already been made into a hyperlink; he needn't have exited the presentation nor done any of the steps thereafter!
Laf1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:11:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend told me he broke the Internet. I was about to call 911
Zoos27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:13:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I have a few. I work with a woman who is stuck in the 1980s as far as work flow. Everything needs to be printed. EVERYTHING. it has to be color coded so it doesn't get lost on her desk.
She doesn't know how to cut and paste, so when she needs to, she prints the section and *retypes it***
There is a specific form I use several dozen times a day and it requires a signature. In the interest of expediency, and saving paper (you know, one of the very basic nature of email) I set up a digital PDF of the form. I had to go a over her head to make her understand that a digitally signed PDF is an acceptable format. She wanted me to hand deliver or inter-office mail the forms because she didn't think the digital signature was acceptable. I can purchase a house or a car with a signed PDF. Professional athletes sign million dollar contracts on an iPad with their fingers but I can't send a simple PDF form to this woman.
Another form has to be a hard copy. Why? Well it has to be pink - so it doesn't get lost among all papers on her FOUR desks. So when I setup this form on PDF I changed the background to pink. Still unacceptable. Why, you ask? Well, because her printer can only print in black and white. Color printers are a waste of money.
I told my dad I was building a 'computer' and he took it as me building a laptop, and couldn't understand why my case was so big, when it arrived.
Tasryll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Way old Wang terminal keyboards had a huge, round, "Help" key that was to bring up some simple help files. An older lady was... I shit you not... calling our support line saying "ive been hitting the Help key for 3 days now and nobody's shown up."
It took ever single drop of self control i had not to laugh out loud.
Year 4 (grade 4) teacher put on a movie, think it was ice age anyway there was no sound. So eventually he asked for help and I got up and clicked the unmute button.
Not the most illiterate thing but my English teacher in an IT school was googling "program to open pd" then saw the autofill "pdf" picked up the mouse,clicked the autofill,then pressed enter. 5 sec were never so slow because just typing in "f",the letter right next to "d", was too hard. Fuck sake
Back in 2012 my boss saw a poster he liked while we were out on a shoot. As it had a white background and was quite basic I thought if I could photograph it dead on and crop it neatly I could find it on google image. I also used the name written on the poster. It worked pretty seamlessly. I found the print so he could buy it.
He then asked me to show him how I did it. So I took him through google image step by step. Later on he asked me again and I wrote down the process with screen grabs and emailed him.
Finally he appeared at my desk with a smashed glass vase in lots of pieces and said 'can you google image this for me, it was a wedding gift and I need to replace it'. It tickled me.
Anyway I told him to check the John Lewis website. That worked out for him in the end.
Just yesterday, a woman I've been working with for years tried to delete a text file by opening it in Notepad, clicking the Edit menu, and clicking Delete. She was wondering why it was greyed out.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Printing a 50 page PDF, and throwing away the last 49 pages because she only needed the first page.
Okay, not really a computer illiterate thing, but it drives me nuts when I see people use caps lock to place a single capital letter. A Chinese friend of mine does that. He also types with 2 fingers. Worst of all, when he presses caps lock, he fatfingers some other key, causing him to have to start over again. It's a pain to see him type.
My brother (16y) also uses caps lock and even tho I've told him like a million times that using shift is quicker and easier, he refuses to listen since he's "used to it". He said he started doing it since he didn't know what key the shift key was or what it did... "Okay, now press shift..." "What button is that?" "The arrow pointing upwards" presses the up key ffffffffffffffffuuuuuuu...
My brother used to work as tech support. A woman phoned one day having PC problems. My brother asked what is on her desktop. She replied a plant.
Another time a man called whose PC wouldn't turn on. After half an hour or so of trying different solutions over the phone, my brother asked him to plug his power lead directly into the wall socket rather than the adapter. The man replied well that's not going to work, since there was currently a power cut.
In college, before I decided to switch majors to geology, I was a computer science major. One of my last professors had a PhD and a handful of certifications which he would like to flaunt. I don't know how he got them because he didn't know how to do anything on a computer. One day, the entire class had to teach him how to use the internet. This was only last year.
I'm late to the party, but I was trying to explain to my grandmother just because her computer has been off, that does not mean it will stop collecting emails. She had not turned on her computer in months and was surprised to see she had over 200+ emails. Also explaining to her that she can access her email from any computer
g-funk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've posted this before:
A guy brought in his new laptop saying he couldn't get it to open. He even showed what he tried to lift the screen up. The problem was, he was trying to open it from the back side. I simply turned the laptop around 180 degrees and opened it up for him. He pressed the power button to turn it on and then grunted as he picked up the laptop and walked away.
kcwally ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I knew someone in college who wrote their assignments without saving the file. It was called "Document 1". They just never closed word or turned off their laptop and only saved the file when it was ready to send. The bigger issue was they had a laptop that had a faulty battery so if it ever became unplugged the laptop shut down and all their work was lost. During the end of the term they had rewrite a whole paper three times!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once worked in a shitty little place that paid us piss poor money, I was their sysadmin but I also had to handle all the morons and their idiotic problems. There was one woman (sales person) who used to make my life hell... she accused me and a colleague of removing notepad from her machine once because she couldn't open a file... but the best one was I got a phone call one day from her, she said .. I can't use the internet... and also, my mouse is broken.
30 minutes later I discovered she had actually managed to insert the USB mouse cable into the ethernet socket, wifi button also turned off... but damn.. I thought how is this even possible (the level of stupidity didn't surprise me, what surprised me is how you can physically insert a USB connector into an ethernet port) turns out it is possible.
Typing "Google" into the Google search bar. Classic.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My father wondering why his android's screen flipped when he rotated the phone. He went to the service center to get it fixed when I heard about it I was like (-_-)
Worked at a campus computer lab that ran computer literacy tests for incoming students. One of the questions said to attach a provided jpg to an email. A student printed both the pic and email, walked up to my desk, grabbed my stapler and said "here, I attached the picture to the email."
I was once working with the chief of operations - who oversaw our IT operations among other things - and suggested she 'google' the problem. 'Oh,' she said, we don't have Google here, just Bing.'
She then showed me how her browser 'only' opened to Bing.
Resetting a user's password, because they've forgotten the one they just changed to a few hours ago when they received a notification that their password had expired. Letting the user know that their password has been changed to a temporary password which will prompt them to change their password again. Advise user of the password strength criteria (8 chars minimum: at least 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special char (pick 3)), user acknowledges and thanks me. User calls back within 3 minutes complaining that they can't get their password to work.
Check user's account, temp password hasn't been changed. Remote onto their system, it's sitting at the Windows login screen, ask user to log in with their temp password. I watch as they type their username, then delete it as they finish typing it as they had initially typed it in lower case, and for some odd reason, they've got it in their head that username HAS to be all caps. After they finish typing their username, they turn capslock off, they click down to the password dialogue box, turn capslock back on, type the first character of the temp password (which is capitalized due to new password security protocols.) and then turn capslock back off to continue typing the rest of the lowercase characters and numbers.
Windows prompts them to change their password. They go through the whole ridiculous caplocks ghetto-shift process again, then they spend the next few minutes trying to think of a password that meets the criteria, some do this faster than others. User then slowly types their password into the New Password dialogue box, then clicks down to the Confirm Password dialogue box, only they type in an extra character and hit enter before checking. Windows informs them their new password does not match their confirmed password. What I hear coming through the phone is, "WHY ISN'T THIS WORKING?!"
A granny returned a computer monitor because it didn't work. Turns out the reason she thought this was because the box contained both VGA and DVI cables, but her desktop only had a VGA out. She was therefore convinced it wouldn't work, and wouldn't believe me when I tried to explain things to her. I had to pull out the monitor, assemble it, and plug it into my POS terminal just to prove it would work.
Told friend I could build them a pc cheaper than what they were looking to buy one for. Got all the parts and put the rig together. Wrote out instructions for what to do because I had known she was pretty computer illiterate to begin with but the instructions went like this:
1. Plug it in and press in the red button on the back. That's your power supply, that stays on once you set it up. 2. Plug it into your monitor with the vga cable (even drew it for her). 3. Call me if you have any questions beyond that.
I get a call while at work. "It's not working at all?! What do I do?"
Not at all? It was just working fine before you came and got it? You made sure to follow my instructions right? "Yeah I did what you said on here."
You plugged your monitor in?
" Yeah"
You remembered to press on the power supply?
"Yeah!"
And you turned the computer on and nothing happened?
"Wait... Turn the computer on? Is that different from the power supply? Did you write that part down?"
I'm always late to these things but I have a good one. I was a data guy in the service. Basically anything computer related we take care of it. Anyway, we get a new guy fresh from training. I tell him to set up a new computer in the middle of our shop for a monthly class. When the class starts the instructor couldn't log on. Being the good teacher and all I told the new guy to check the cables first. I walk with him from the computer to the wall and find the ethernet cable on the ground, right next to the plug in the wall. He told me he didn't know he had to plug the other end in.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grabbed the mouse and put it in the cursor on the monitor screen.
Someone did not know how a mouse worked. He would hold his hand above the mouse in midair then tap on it to click on things. It's hard to describe but
almost how you might poke something to see if it was alive. I honestly don't remember how he moved it.
My dad once got angry because he was trying to apply bold typeface to a file's name on his desktop using Microsoft Word's toolbar, and it wasn't working.
Late to the party but I had a college professor once start complaining that the computer wasn't turning on. She went to find the teacher that was using it last. I walked up to it and moved the mouse to make the screen wake up...
My mom used to use the PC frequently to watch Asian soaps and browse celebrity news. A while after she got an iPad to browse in bed. One day she had to check her pay stub online on the computer and she proceeds to touch the monitor as if it were an iPad..
I was discussing some work stuff with a mid fifties female colleague, who was a chemical engineer with 20+ years of industry experience, and I said
"... and then i'll just take those bits and ctrl-c ctrl-v them over and then ...."
And she interrupted me to ask what I meant and it became apparent that not only had she never heard the phrases "control-c" or "control-v", but she was unaware that the shortcuts even existed.
Now I can appreciate that some old people maybe aren't totally clued up on the complexities of email or cloud storage, but copy paste is like the most core basic stuff that I had forgotten it was possible to not know. Plus this woman was a professional engineer who worked on a computer every day, using MS office and all the usual workplace jazz. I was stunned, I still kinda am.
rohdawg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a girl ask me how to turn on the computer. We both went to a pretty good state school that you obviously have to apply to online. How did she even apply?
Watched a "Senior" Financial Analyst have an Excel sheet open. He typed numbers in, wrote them on paper, manually added them, then wrote the sum appropriately in Excel. Claimed he didn't trust Excel to calculate correctly.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My 91 year old grandfather decided he wanted to learn how to use a computer. He bought a mac. When my mother was teaching him how to use it she would tell him to click on something. He would then pick up the mouse and physically tap it against the item on the computer screen that he was supposed to click on.
AR_Wyss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in the sign business, and someone wanted us to replicate their logo, so they went to their website on a computer, used an iphone to take a picture of the computer screen, then realized their email wasn't on that iphone, so they took a picture of that iphone screen with another iphone. So it was a photo of a phone screen, showing a photo they took of a computer screen, of a low resolution logo from a website.
xelle24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a coworker who insisted that her mother was a computer programmer and she "knew all about computers". She had no idea what "right-click" meant and could barely use google email.
It became clear pretty quickly that she lied about a lot of things.
I spent what seemed like hours showing a perpetually incompetent coworker (We're both teachers) how to send an email with more than one attachment. She needed to send about 10 pdfs to one recipient. Rather that attaching them all to one email, she sent 10 separate emails, each with one attachment.
After showing her the highly technical CONTROL+A function, I ended my tutorial with, "just click the send button and you're all set!" as I walked out of the room.
In a panicked voice, my perpetually incompetent coworker responded, "Single click or double click!? SINGLE CLICK OR DOUBLE CLICK!?!?"
Peeking my head back into the room, I said "Triple click" and shut the door.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was Internet tech support.
She was at least in her 60s.
Customer: My Internet just stopped working.
Me: Do you see an error message?
Customer: It just said my session has expired.
Me: What website are you trying to get to?
Customer: Im just trying to play my game!!!
Me: Okay what game are you trying to play?
Customer: (insert wild tangent game title)
Me: Did it say you ran out of tokens?
Then I had to explain that she had to buy more tokens to keep playing.
Once at the orthodontist this elderly woman (yeah idk why she was there) couldn't figure out how to use the mouse to sign in for her appointment. All you do is click your name once and then yes....
One of my customers tried to bring in her PC for a repair. She didn't know that the monitor cable secured to the tower with thumb screws. She ended up strong arming it and ripping the VGA port off of her motherboard.
wooking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happened a few years ago.
So one of our professors was teaching us the architecture of an 8086 chip.
He went on to describe the recent processor architectures. So he was explaining the Intel core series (corei3,i5,i7). Some wise guy(or shall I say n00b) asked if core i1,i2,i4,i6,... had ever existed.
We were like "are you serious? they're just named that way" . It's a series thing.
Prof on the other hand gave a detailed "I know it all" explanation about how the those particular series had "failed to achieve success" and had been trashed. While the others became mainstream.
We didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Our prof was a PhD in computer networks.
I'm the "IT Coordinator" in our office - The IT department used to get so many calls a day, they had to designate a tech savvy person in each office to verify the "problems" before we actually call them up.
My best one: I get a call from my co-worker telling me she thinks we need to call IT. She was in the middle of working on something and then "suddenly it's just gone". I head over to her desk to check it out. The window is minimized, so I bring it up to see what the problem is. It's working fine, I can't see anything wrong. I turn to her to ask what the issue is and she's staring at me like I'm some sort of mythical computermancer.
Being around computer my whole life, as well as my parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents being around computers - we all have a bunch. But here is a few of mine:
I used to go to the library all the time when Bill Gates first brought the computers/internet to the libraries and you could just go and sit at a computer and get on the internet and there weren't any web filters. I was in 8th grade and my friend that was in the 7th grade that never went to school was interested in why I was always on the computer, and I set him up a Hotmail account (back then there was no Gmail). We come back a few days later and we had another friend with us, and he asks how to get to his email. I show him how to open the browser and then he starts to remember, and he asks me the URL to Hotmail. So I tell him W-W-W-DOT-H-O-T-M-A-L-E-DOT-C-O-M-ENTER.
He flips out at the porn screen in front of him, and me and my other friend just start laughing.
This only happened a few years ago. I worked for a dickhead of a boss that was a multimillionaire in his 60s. I was the general E-commerce/IT guy for around 20 computers. One afternoon he tells me in his broken English (he Indian) that he's bringing in his laptop from home with his antivirus "card" and he wants me to "install" the card on his laptop to remove a virus. I didn't really know what that meant, but I said okay, and figured I would figure it out tomorrow. The next day came and there was a bag on my desk with the laptop, I open the laptop and turn it on, and go find him in the warehouse. I find him and we go back to the laptop and I look at the screen and I see what looks like an antivirus screen saying he has a bunch of viruses on his computer. Then I see him pull out a Green Dot Moneycard from his pocket, he clicks a few things and I see the screen that tells him to enter the $500 moneypack number to "remove" the viruses. I almost didn't want to tell him it was a scam, but I figured it wouldn't do me any good, so I told him. He tried to return the moneypack, but you can't get returns on them, so I told him I have a card that uses it, and I would fix his laptop for it. He said no for about a week, then we finally agreed that I would deposit it, he would get $350 and I would get $150 and I had to fix his laptop. I brought it home, wiped the hard drive, installed Windows and kept it there for a few more days to make it seemed like I was having a hard time doing it. We ended up splitting the money.
After my mom died, my stepdad, and I moved to Tennessee. What he failed to realize is that the part of Tennesse that we moved to, there was very little jobs there, especially for someone that's only done roofing their whole life. So after a while, he started to get desperate. He went to Home Depot and asked for a application. The pointed to a computer in the corner and we walked over. He just started typing his name into the computer, one letter at a time. I told him he has to open up the "Employment Application" icon on the desktop with the mouse. So after a minute or so he finally gets it. It opens up and a bunch of terms and conditions pops up. He starts reading them. All of them. Slowly. I told him to don't worry about it - he will never get the job anyways. I showed him that everyone that was working there was at a computer - he agreed. We left. Funny thing is as we were walking out he sees a roofing company truck and he walks up to the guy and asks if they are hiring. He said yeah, gave him his business card and told him to call him later tonight. He got the job and is still working there.
I work in IT at an accounting firm here a few of the things I have seen:
I have legitimately seen someone use a CD tray as a cupholder. They seemed mortified when I asked them not to do that and what it actually was.
I have had to have long (10+ minute) conversations with employees on extremely basic topics like "The red x closes the program" and "What is copy and paste?"
So many viruses from really poorly made phishing attempts, people will click anything, even after we continually train them and harp about this stuff
This one wasn't on the job, but when I took my college entrance exams, the guy beside me had to have the proctor explain to him how to use a computer. Not like, how to use the program the test was on but like, the concept that the mouse moves a cursor and when you press a key on the keyboard that letter shows up on the screen. This was in 2010, and the guy was roughly the same age as me at the time, maybe a little older, like 18-20.
I explained how to download an app to my father, after dinner he opened up the app store and continued to look at it. After a while I asked him why he kept staring at it. Well in the searchbar was written Zoeken which translates to both "Search... " and searching. So he explained his toughtprocess as to why he tought the store was already searching for him even though he didn't type anything in. It sure was an odd idea to him.
My all time favorite. I was in Iraq on deployment and I get a phone call from the brigade commander. He tells me his cup holder isn't working. I'm like wot? So I go there and his "cup holder" was his CD drive. After prying the tray open it was covered in a thick layer of old coffee. In case anyone is unfamiliar, brigade commanders are usually colonels, typically 20+ years of service with several degrees under their belt.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a former level 1 call center tech rep, boy do I have a lot of these. One of my favorites?
Caller: I cant' access my email!
Me: OK, sir, let me have a look at your account clickety clickety click and check all the usual culprits OK, sir try it now.
College professor called and had an IT tech come down to the lecture hall to get to the school's homepage. The answer, type the three letter acronym for the school followed by .edu. After getting to the page the professor asked the tech to again explain the steps he took so said professor could do it again on his own. I don't think he ever really understood. Needless to say, the tech was bewildered and was basically on shock when he realized why he'd been called in. This all happened while being shown on a projector and the entire class found it sad and hilarious at the same time.
I was a web producer at a newspaper in a medium-sized city. I got an e-mail from a reporter who had been at the paper for a matter of decades. It read:
Back in the early days, my visiting grandfather wanted me to get him online so he could check the score of the Cubs game. I sat him down at the family desktop and signed him into AOL. As the modem connected, we were serenaded by the familiar:
In line at a store, the cashier asks the kid checking out for his email. He replies "I dont have an email, but I have a Youtubes." He was probably 13 or 14.
Guy goes to print something on the computers at my job. Does not confirm the print at the print screen. Thinks it's something wrong with the printer. Walks over to printer. Opens all of the trays. On the verge of pulling the $200 toner cartridge out when I stop him.
*My mother was once trying to buy tickets online for a flight. A lot of important pages opened in different tabs, but she was used to everything opening in separate windows so she closed the window with all of the tabs. Worst part is that I was right beside her and telling her not to close the window and to open the other tabs, but she slowly moved the mouse to the close button and slowly clicked it. After that she went bezerk on me and blamed me. She didn't know anything about tabs.
*Then there was that time when my mom thought that gaming is evil and she should stop me from doing it. So she decided to password lock my person laptop while I was not home. She called the brother of my grandfather who instructed her on how to create a password for the admin profile. It seems that he forgot to mention to her that the password is something that should be remembered.
*Then there have been multiple times when she constantly complained that there was a virus on her laptop because it slowly became slow. I tried to explain that hardware deteriorates and that all the background apps and the dump files, and fragmentations slow down a PC. Also it was bizarre to think that her PC had a virus because she barely used the internet, visited a few news sites, had an anti virus installed by me and was completely afraid to approve anything that asked for permission. But that didn't stop her from constantly bringing her PC to some dude who supposedly fixes her virus problem every time and cleans her hard drive. But one day she asked me to help her install some shit after the guy brings her PC back. I looked at her PC and there was TeamViewer and a keylogger RIGHT ON HER FUCKING DESKTOP. Now that is a peculiar thing to leave after whipping the entire hard drive. She didn't bat an eye because she doesn't seem to even know what's on her desktop.
*And then there was that one time with my grandfather. He had his own desktop PC. Which was located in the house I lived, besides my PC which creeped me out because the casing was white and I mean old white with the combination of the monitor still being a fucking box(white of course). But he didn't spend much time in the house and he spent a month living somewhere else. When he came back and activated his old trashcan and there was a problem. It kept shutting down within an interval of 10 to 20 minutes. Nobody was fucking surprised but him. What did surprise everyone is that he blamed me. He claimed that I was using his PC while he was gone and that I fucked up and got a virus on it. Even though I didn't use his PC. Because, why the fuck would I? Even his brother tried explain to him that the PC was old. I also tried to explain to him all the hardware malfunctions that can cause a shutdown. But nope, it was supposed to me my fault so he got drunk for a while and was sad about losing all the pictured he had stored on his PC. Even though he didn't lose them, they were all on his fucking hard drive.
But on a serious note, use FUCKING BACKUPS. I have seen enough people lose files because of hard drive corruption to give me nightmares on stupidity. Even bigger stupidity comes from the people who want to store information for long memory on their PC. Someone should remind them that the PC won't last that long. Main hard drives should only be considered temporary.
At this point will get buried buuuut at my old company, if you got promoted, you were a hundred percent responsible for training your replacement. They hired this sweet but clueless girl to be the team coordinator which was basically just a ton of scheduling.
There were 1000 things she couldn't do but the best was she "didn't know how to send an invite to multiple people at once" . Ie in outlook, she'd have meetings where it was the entire team of 8 or so and she'd send each of them a separate invite. Bless
her heart, she didn't think to even try and type in a second name into the "to" field.
My university lecturer was loading a video to play on YouTube, then turned away to wipe the board or whatever.
When the video finished buffering and began to blare over the classroom speakers (because my lecturer hadn't thought to lower the volume beforehand), she turned to the computer in panic and yelled SHHH!!!!!
Pretty much every time someone is surprised by their PC rebooting to install an update. It warned you two dozen times over the past two weeks and even asked if you would like to select a time that is good for it.
Exact same people who don't get oil changes and then are surprised when their car breaks down.
called to a job where we had fixed the computer a few days previous. The card reader is not working since ye were at the computer. take a quick look. Ehh it would help if you had it plugged in. they were rather embarrassed.
My pops was (or still is) absolutely convinced that Yahoo (the site) and Internet Explorer were two different things (he saves bookmarks to his desktop), despite me explaining that they're not dozens of times over the past 15+ years. It makes helping him impossible because he doesn't listen to me (or simply doesn't comprehend) when I say they're different. We've actually gotten into shouting matches over it, because he'll claim that "if it was your computer, you'd fix it right away," and I'd have to counter with something along the lines of how I'd be able to help him if he'd listen to me. It's such an odd thing but I've never seen anything else like it in my life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My family members come to me with their computer problems. My mother didn't have a legit copy of Windows 7, no problem I can fix that I told her. I then tell her is there anything you need saved on your computer, just my Facebook she says. I hate my family sometimes.
I work at an MSP so I have the pleasure of working with people of the entire spectrum of computer literacy.
The best so far is when someone says they rebooted their "hard drive" but it's still not working. After about 10 minutes on the phone I realize they've been power cycling their monitor thinking it's their computer...
Second best is people that plug USB printer cables into Ethernet ports on the back of the printer.
I was helping my boss, an editor in his forties at a medium-sized newspaper with a computer problem. I told him to scroll down to the bottom of the page.
"How?"
"Just like you would normally."
"But how?"
It was one of those moments where you don't want to disrespect someone by overexplaining something to them that they should already know, so we went back and forth like that for about ten minutes before I caved to the shame of the situation and limply explained what the scroll bars were.
He was very appreciative, at least.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party here.
I have two from when I was working at Geek Squad.
First one. Lady calls about a laptop problem. We ask what brand of laptop, and she replies "dy". ...It was an HP
Second lady. She calls saying she just got a laptop and it won't open. She says she keeps trying and the "clips" on the front of the laptop won't open...She was opening the laptop backwards.
Telephone rings: Good afternoon, this is /u/WhiteRavenMaster from the computer store, how can I help you?
Customer: yes, hello sir, I picked up my new laptop at your store this morning, I've been working on it all day and now it just stopped working, you sold me crap!
Me: Have you plugged it in since you started using it this morning, madam?
Customer: Plugged it in? Why would I need to do that, I bought a laptop, it works on batteries, I bought it so I wouldn't have all that hassle!
I worked for a small fuel distributor for a couple of miserable years. When the owner sold, his CFO became CEO, and he hired someone to fill the CFO role.
The CFO was basically hired as a yes man. He was a bit rude, big mouthed, and nearly caused a lawsuit due to sexual harassment (A dispatcher who worked during the days was very large breasted, and any shirt she wore fit very tightly. Fridays were casual, and every friday, she'd wear a tshirt, and he would walk up to her, lower his head to her chest, point his finger and read the wording. His comment about the dot on the bottom of an exclamation point was the final straw).
He was not very intelligent, especially when it came to using excel (An accounting unable to use a spreasheet program who was the chief financial officer? Red flag!), as well as other aspects of computing. One day, he was in his officer with the lead accountant, and was ripping her head off because she only sent a partial spreadsheet. She would try to defend herself and show him, and he refused. They called me to comfirm her mistake. I walked in his office, and noticed he had his screen resolution set to display everything very large. With the accountant behind me and him seated, I clicked on the slider at the bottom of the spreadsheet, moved it to the right, and revealed the rest of her data.
Gig472 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone once asked me what the difference between Google and Google Chrome is. I tried to explain but got a blank stare.
Related to this. Asked a user what browser they were using for the Internet. They said "Google". I asked if it was google chrome and they said "nope. Just google." Tried to tell them that just google wasn't a browser. They had put a Shortcut to google on their desktop and had no idea that there was such thing as a different browser. They were using IE.
Gig472 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I cant tell you how many people I have met that thought the IE icon was the "Internet button"
My mother, who is a mostly intelligent person (dean's list in college, 4.0 gpa, etc) doesn't understand Copy ... like, CTRL+C ... it breaks her brain. I have spent two decades trying to get her to understand it. I've used a variety of teaching techniques, metaphors, and lessons. Something in her head is hard-wired to not understand it. She has hand-written instructions that she keeps next to the computer for "moving text" and beyond that, I have no fucking clue what she does with the macbook air I bought her. I do know that she spends a lot of time printing the fuck out of terrible ass web pages.
I had a journalism professor.. Opened website and searched for NY times. Showed us an article. Closed the browser. Proceeded to open browser and search for NY Times again. Opened new article to show the class. Every time he wanted to show something different he closed the browser. Opened the browser again and searched...
My nan was listening to Elvis Presley songs on Youtube, and happily said "Oh, I didn't know he was still alive!". My grandfather walks in, tells her that he was sure he died, then they both celebrate that Elvis "Is alive and playing songs on the You Tube"
I had to explain that videos on Youtube aren't Live. They didn't understand for a few days.
I also had to disguise Google Chrome as Internet Explorer, because if "Internet" isn't in the name of the Browser they delete it immediately...or worse. They once hired someone to do a "Performance boost" on their pc. He charged them ยฃ50 to remove Google Chrome and install one of these "ULTIMATE PC PRO BOOST NOT A SCAM V3,000!" programs. I live 3 minutes down the road, I'm a pc tech, why didn't they ask me to do this.
Edit:
In my "Hardware Foundation" class we were tasked with building a pc. One of the kids just took like 11 harddrives, crammed them into a tower case, and expected it to work. When he failed the assignment his dad complained, came in, saw his child's ""work"", and continued to complain that they never got an 'A'.
My girlfriend actually called one of those pop ups that say "Warning your MiCroSoft computer is infected with a virus. Please call this number immediately" I stopped her after she called it though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One day my sister was typing away on the computer just using her index fingers. I go, "Val, you type with two fingers?" To which she replied, " What? You type with one?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:21:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Customer called up saying he was having trouble logging onto his computer. I walk him through restarting the computer and logging in. He tells me he can see his desktop, and then asks me "but how do I know if I logged in"?
Another customer uttered the immortal words "I 'm not too computerized so everything's a black hole to me."
My mom thought it we should throw away the wireless printer and get a new one because it was broken. I.e., it takes a little while to connect to our computer and sometimes needs to be turned off to reset the connection.
taracus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:21:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Friends mom once called my friend to the computer with the problem that she couldnt move the mouse all the way to the bottom of the screen, she ran out of mousepad...
I was talking to my kindergarten teaching mom about the schools first grade teacher who has been a family friend since we moved to our city when I was five. Apparently, she is the most computer illiterate person ever because once a couple of years ago, like 2012 or 2013 whenever this was, she went to my moms classroom to ask for help with the computer. Apparently she had hit the return key several times
And didn't know about the backspace key.
She wanted my moms help to make the cursor go back to bed previous sentence. She's like in her mid to late forties.
My company's president and owner doesn't know how to reply with attachments (or scan them) to his emails, so when he receives them, he prints them out and hands them to me and asks me to reply to the person for him from my account while he dictates what he wants to say. I've tried to teach him to do this but he has no interest in learning, already from a night thing lady like me. I have no idea how he knows the steps to check his emails but not to reply, it's mind boggling.
Providing technical support over the phone, asked user to restart computer. 10 seconds later, done. I'm like that's impossible to have restarted so quickly. What are you doing? User states "pressing the little button in the corner of the screen, right?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We had to buy monitors for people that had this issue. They had 24 inch monitors but could not do more than one thing on the screen. As in outlook and Excel.
I have 2 of them with 32 inch screens and they have outlook on one screen and word in the other.
I used to work help desk support for a company that made custom computers. One day I received a call from a particularly irate customer. Apparently there was no image on his monitor.
First, I made sure that his monitor was properly plugged in and working. Next, I asked him about the computer. "Are there any lights on near the power button?" Of course not. "Can you hear the computer making noise?" Ok, so the computer is not powered on. "What happens when you press the power button?" Nothing. I think I know what's wrong. "Sir, is the rocker switch turned on? It's on the back of the computer right next to where you plugged in the power cord."
"I need to plug in a power cord?"
I never wanted to reach through the phone and punch someone so badly in my life.
Worked at Microcenter; woman came in asking how to clean her keyboard. Me, in a pissed-off funk, replied to simply disconnect and load into a standard dishwasher and cycle as normal. She wheeled and headed for the door. I had to physically stop her and explain that I was a jerk and was kidding.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did tech support for a rent to own business from 2000-2002 in Louisiana. I had someone call me while the power was out to complain their computer wasn't working.
Nor1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A call i got:
Me: "Thank you for calling , may i have your Email associated with our service"
Customer: "Yeah im calling on behalf of my wife , just wanted to cancel some things from her account"
Me: "Certainly , in order to check your information could you provide me your wives Email address"
Customer: "What do you mean?..."
Me: "The Email address that your wife used to enroll to our services."
Customer: "i don't understand you keep saying an Email she only has a Gmail..."
I had to explain to my mother 'the ins and outs of facebook' which basically meant 'who can see this?' Every one of them were paranoid about who could see what they post. The concept of having a status and a private message baffled them.
I had to explain to one of my mothers friends that friends could see her statuses she then asked if old Aunty something in England could see it. I asked does she have a Facebook account she replied 'no she doesn't own a computers'...
cmrudy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Used her phones camera to take a photo of a picture she wanted to save that was on her computer screen.
I work in an office and one of the sales managers put a piece of paper over a guys monitor while he was in the loo, the guy came back and had a huge paddy saying that they had 'hidden his mouse' and 'frozen his screensaver' it went on for a good few minutes before someone moved the paper for him.
espnguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "Looks like your hard drive is almost full because you're deleting things, but never emptying the recycling bin so the space is never freed up. To empty it, you..."
Client: "NOOOO!! That's where I keep all my important stuff..."
Okay well let's check what account you have, are you sure this is the right account?
Yes I only have one, Im pissed off I just bought this computer and it doesn't work.
Okay well it's your account online not your computer.
No because my iPad and my iPhone work fine so it has to be the computer.
Okay let's see what account is on your phone... Mam this is a different email address than what you used on the computer.
See? The computer is broken
No Mam, you used a different account online than your ipad
I don't know computers, you are frustrating me.
It's okay, let's just login using the same account on your iPhone so we can get one drive synched for you.
I don't use one drive, I want one note to work.
...okay let's login and see using the same information from the iphone
What's the password?
Mam I can't tell you that, it's your password that you set up.
This computer is broken, I don't have to enter my password on my iPhone
That went on for another 15 minutes.
That's really just one of the more frustrating things but the most illiterate is the dozen people a day that can't get it through their skull that they need a new computer and you can't make their XP machine run Windows 10 properly.
Or maybe the people that get an innocuous part replaced like a battery and say that now they can't open up any files in their computer.
Or maybe people who pay for a data recovery and then complain that they can't open up a file on their new computer (because they don't have PowerPoint or PDF reader or something)
Or maybe the dozens of people a week who buy a Windows 10 computer, demand we exchange it 2 months later because it's "broken" and they can't play DVDs, I download vlc player and show them how to use it and then they still demand another computer because they shouldn't have to jump through hoops to play a DVD even though i explained it will work the exact same way on the new one.
Or someone asks my recommendation for business, I say Lenovo and they want to return it because we are guilty of false advertising "this isn't an IBM you guys sold this to me recommending IBM and I get this stinking Chinese thing" to which I reply that I recommended Lenovo not IBM but Lenovo bought the rights to IBM computers. And he calls me a liar and wants a computer with no parts from China which we all laugh in unison because it's impossible.
My dad was asking me where the "clipboard" was on his phone the other day. He insisted that when he copies things to the clipboard that he had to open the clipboard app to see them. I still don't think he believed me when I told him that the clipboard app is not a thing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
About four years ago I took an intro to computers class (not comp sci) to fill a lab requirement for college. Lab was Friday mornings from 7-10 am. I get in, sit down, and start immediately following the steps on how to use Google and crap like that. The girl next to me sat there for about half an hour not doing anything. Finally she leans over as I'm about to leave and asks me if there's something wrong with her computer. I asked her if she had turned it on and she asked how to do that. So I pressed the green glowing power button and then left.
After about two more weeks, the professor realized I knew how computers worked and I didn't have to go into lab anymore.
Used to teach computer classes in the late 90s. The number of people who would pick up the mouse, put it on the screen, and try to move the pointer was amazing.
The boss where I work goes through excel with a calculator and does the calculations by hand, then types them into the spreadsheet.
I've tried printing a function list and going through how to sum up, but she still uses that damn calculator.
I used to do computer work on the side for extra cash.
I was helping one of my grandpa's friends who's laptop computer was so old it was literally falling apart. She was hoping I could clean it up and get the viruses off so it would run faster. She didn't have the budget for a new computer, so I gave her a laptop that I had sitting around for $10. I couldn't have given that thing away, but it was 10 times better than what she was using. I got everything set up and showed it to her. She wanted to make sure the printer worked, and so had opened up a word doc and was typing various sentences in
Lady: Can I print this?
Me: yes.
Lady: types different sentence how about this?
Me: yes. You can print anything. It all works.
This continues for a while until she needed tried typing an 'R'
Lady: I can't find the 'R'. Why did you sell me a laptop with no 'R'? And why does this keyboard have two P's?
I did my best to explain that the lettering on the keys was a little worn because it was a used laptop and the one P was actually an R with the lower right line faded off.
I had another customer which would come back regularly for repeat business. She is quite paranoid about viruses, and was always asking me to remove them. She would say "look! The internet doesn't work! My computer is full of viruses!" I'd take a look, and sure enough Chrome had Add block, No script, and Ghostery installed, and JavaScript and images would be disabled in settings, but no viruses were anywhere to be found. I'd reenable images and JavaScript, remove noscript and Ghostery since she obviously had no idea how to use them, and she would be ecstatic that the internet was working and that I had removed all the viruses, no matter how many times I attempted to explain her actual problem. "You're the best! I love you!" She would say. "Those geek squads couldn't help me at all! You're so smart!"
One time I was once again trying to help her, she broke down and cried because she was so overwhelmed and couldn't understand how she always got so many viruses. I never did find a single virus on her machine.
Raichu7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum tried to turn the computer on by pressing the Dell logo rather than the power button. This happened so often I drew a picture of the power button with "This is the on switch" written next to it and a picture of the Dell logo with "This is not a switch, it does nothing" written next to it and taped it to the wall behind the monitor.
Came over to fix my mom's computer. After removing the viruses, I installed Chrome. Two days later I got an angry call from her stating "that Chrome thing you installed messed up the computer!"
I was subcontracting in a multinational manufacturing firm on IT, helping a secretary who was having trouble getting a version of some dictation software to work. Then she mentioned why they used it...
Manufacturing director still remembers the slide-rule days and doesn't like using computers, so his PAs print off all his email, he reads his replies back into a tape recorder, hands it to his PAs again in the morning and they type/send his replies.
He was employing 2 people just because he refused to use email.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One supervisor of mine asked me to print his emails so that he can annotate them and file them in his cabinet.
He printed his emails and stored them in his cabinet.
On second thoughts, no can hack a piece of paper.
XZIVR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Setting up an ipad, time to enter credit card info. I wasn't really paying attention but I think it might have asked them to take a pic of the card and it would enter the number automatically. Looked over to see them pressing the card against the touch screen waiting for a beep.
Called in about his monitor not powering on.
Me:Ask if he pressed the power button does it turn on.
Him:No
Me:is it plugged in to power?
Him:Idk
Me:Can you check ?
Him:Oh it's not plugged in.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmother called me over to her house, saying that "the Google isn't working so I can't print". Her printer is a wired printer, and it wasn't turned on.
I was training a new agent at a call center once and she told me she wasn't good with computers so take it slow. After showing her ctrl-alt-del I asked her to double click the icon for our main piece of software and she just looked at me. So I reached over and pointed at which one she needed and told her to double click it. So she reached out and tapped the screen twice saying "click click".
One of my friends deleted a doc file. She then calls me for help to recover it and I tell her to check her recycling bin and she doesn't know what the recycling bin is. She's 20 and in college
My grandmother called me up and told me that she wanted me to come unplug all the wires on the computer and polish the prongs because it wasn't working...Her monitor was switched off.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm playing league of legends, and my mombellows "WHO TOOK MY SPEAKERS!" She goes around the house, asking all of my four siblings if they have it. Of course, they don't, and she starts to get really angry and silky. A few hours later, I hear an embarrassed sounding "oh". She had muted the volume.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't get the pointer to the right side of the screen. Didn't realize her hand was hitting up against a wall on her right and preventing her from going further.
I worked for a pc repair guy who made house calls. Generally he'd drop machines off to me to fix from home, but he frequently sent me to people's homes to diagnose and repair.
I traveled almost an hour to this old guy's house. His computer isn't powering up, my boss tells me. Bring a power supply and a psu tester, he says.
I can hear you IT'ers laughing already.
I get to the house, he shows me where the computer is. He reaches over and hits the power button on the monitor. "No source" comes up for a brief second then the monitor switches to power save.
"WHATWASTHAT WHATDIDITSAY" he blurts out. I explain. "I've NEVER seen that message before EVER. What did you do to get that?" I explain again. I reach down and turn his pc on at the tower. Bios comes up "WHATSTHAT" again. The Windows gui comes up "I've NEVER seen that screen before". Windows loads. "YOU FIXED IT! YOU FIXED IT! What did you do to fix it?"
...I have problems with sarcasm to begin with.... It's really hard to say "I pushed the proper power button" without sounding sarcastic.
"I've never touched that button before! It must have been my wife!" He says.
Then there was the gross old guy who spoke at about five words a minute who recounted at great length every step of the porn viewing session he has on the internet leading up to his computer starting to act weird, including "trying to wish that girl a happy birthday".
His motherboard had a leaking capacitor on it. Had he just not said anything it would have taken me five minutes or less to have seen that and saved us all time and saved me no small amount of revulsion
paross ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at Best Buy about 10 years ago and some lady asked what "Megapixels" were. Since I was a jerk college kid who was tired of trying to answer technical questions posed by people who really couldn't understand the answers anyway, I just replied,
"Megapixels are a liquid goo inside your camera. The more you have, the better your picture because they are photosensitive. That's why you don't want to drop your camera, you might spill your megapixels. It's why you need to buy a Product Replacement Plan."
She bought the camera and the PRP and I felt what it was like to continue functioning physically when I had already died inside emotionally.
I used to work for a UK Computing/electronics/gaming company.
To get a job there you had to actually know a thing or two about using computers. One of the managers of the Birmingham branch used to type full web addresses in to the google search bar, search for the web address and then click on the google link.
I have customers in my industry that receive an attachment via email, print the attachments, scan them at a xerox machine that sends it to their computer. They then attach the scan and then email it to me.
None of them know how to browse for files on their computer.
I did AV work for a few years. And a lot of places I worked was schools. I can't count how many times I had to drive three hours just to plug the speaker cable back onto the computer so their speakers "could make sound again."
The one that really got me was i had a high end job at an airport. Their "top IT guy" had been working on their computer for a week trying to get this program to work. He was a know it all type and no matter what I did, he said it wouldn't fix it.
So I put the disc into the CD drive, Installed the program he wanted, took the disc out, and told him I was done. Took all of 3 minutes.
A guy I use to work with was forced to start learning computer stuff. He came up to me and said "this is gonna be a weird question, but do you have any clue where the Q button is?""I've been searching for it for 45 min". He had a customer in front of him for 45 min as he just stared at the keyboard.
1369ic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When we made the switch from old DOS-only machines to Pentiums at work there was one guy who had no home computer and had only ever used the computers at work. On the way in the office one day he asked me how to move the cursor around, and I told him to move the mouse and the cursor would move on the screen. He went to his desk and I went to see somebody. When I came back he said it didn't work. So I asked him to show me. He held the mouse up in the air in front of the screen at the approximate location of the cursor and moved the mouse through the air. "See, it doesn't move."
I had a hard time not laughing. Well, not until later, anyway.
TL;DR: guy thought you waved the mouse in the air in front of the monitor to get the cursor to move.
emeksv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once sarcastically told a coworker who was having a problem with her mouse that the problem was it was a left-handed mouse. She believed me. It was an apple mouse without buttons.
Users used to call and complain their cable modem was running at 100 megabits when they should be getting a 10 meg service. I had to point out that was the nic not the cable modem and it was 100 not 10.
Late to the party, and I wasn't just a witness, but the actual dumb fuck.
Back in school, about 20 years ago, in Computer Science class, I had quite a long argument with the teacher because I requested a hard disk I could borrow, and he wouldn't provide one. I kept asking, being sure that it's nothing to him, while he grew all the more insistent that what I ask is out of question, since a hard disk is an expensive piece of equipment (which in turn made me all the more frustrated).
I was never a total dumbass in any subject, and in CS I actually was one of the top of the class, starting the programming basics and doing extracurricular stuff for my own fun etc., which also made me so confident in my requests.
But anyway, the thing was, there were 2 main floppy disk formats in use back then - the 5 1/4 inch and the 3 1/2 inch. The former's case was kinda 'floppy' as you could bend it with no consequences, while the latter's - actually quite hard as in 'not flexible'. So I was 100% sure that when I was asking for a hard disk to borrow I was asking for a 3 1/2 inch floppy disk to take my assignment home.
Happily enough I was only the laughing stock for the teacher and a couple of the smarter kids, the rest was still quite oblivious of the imminent technology back then and just ignored what happened.
Friend of mine had a Mac about 30 years ago. She asked me to fix something so I went over, and there I saw that her mouse was oriented the wrong way around (i.e. with the cord pointed at the user. She said it's the way she'd always used it; she used the mouse like some kind of flight stick, where you move it in the opposite of the direction in which you want to take, and clicked the button with her palm.
Back in highschool when I was taking a Comp Sci course, I had a bug that I couldn't figure out.
I called my teacher to help and we sat there for 5-10 minutes for her to read through and fix it.
I needed to save before tunning, so I did what any sensible person would do and press ctrl+s, but when I went to run it she screamed saying I didn't save it, after 5 minutes of explaining i can just press ctrl+s to save she made me save the file the long way... (File > save as > click computer > etc)
bit late, but what ever. My sister told me she saw this happen infront of her. Ok, so you know when you are in Microsoft word or any program that when you press the keys ctrl + s , it saves? Someone in front of her in lab was using Visual studio, the way this person saves is, does his work, press the close button, program ask if they want to save before they exit, presses yes, opens visual studio again, loads project, waits 10 seconds for project to load, repeat....
asills ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching a girlfriend's grandmother how to copy and paste and while observing her I witnessed her turn her mouse 90 degrees left and then go "up". She was trying to steer her mouse like a car - she only ever moved the mouse up, and rotated it to change its direction.
She could never figure out why she couldn't get it to work right.
When i was unemployed I would go to a Worksource office to find job leads. They had this computer lab with three rows of computers. I show up on a particularly busy day, sign in, and ask to use a computer. The lady tells me that there's only one computer open, but that it's been broken for days, only when the internet is open. I go over and open the browser, notice that the page is zoomed way in and press ctrl-0. Boom, normal size again. She clapped.
rolon1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a co-worker and she works as the assistant to one of the directors.
One day, she had trouble with the slow internet connection that affected everyone and proceeded to ask me if I had a shorter
ethernet cable of like 1 foot, because she was so sure it would 10 times faster than the current 10 feet cable.
A friend of mine's grandmother was terrified of the computer. Friend visits grandma, starts talking about something "private" and grandma is all "hush! hush" and escorts her to the other end of the house so "the people on the computer don't hear you." Bless her heart, she sounds so paranoid... she didn't even have an internet connection. But she kept a blanket over the computer and was sure to do her hair and make up before even walking into the same room as the computer - that had no internet, was turned off, and under a blanket. haha
My husband had a co-worker, in her 50's, who was using the opened disc drive as a CUP HOLDER and when he laughed at it, she was serious in saying how "they just think of everything, don't they!"
And also, my sister, when I introduced her to the internet... I opened up google and watched her type "where is ford dealership? .com" into the URL bar. lol
Around 1990, the college had just opened a brand new computer lab with about 30 machines. Late one night my buddy and I were finishing up a project for some programming class, maybe PASCAL, and the only other person in the lab is a girl working at a computer a few rows in front of us. She walks back to us and asks if we can help her get her disk (3.5") out of the drive. We follow her to the computer she is using, and she has shoved the disk in upside down! She had to have used all of the strength she had in that tiny frame to accomplish that.
Not really illiterate. Just not going with the time.
A teacher of us:
Oh, you young folks don't know these old antennas for your TV anymore.
You're all using a receiver with a SCART cable now.
(This was about 2 months ago)
Dedge77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You see that door right there? The one marked pirate."
Volntyr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Very recently, one of our managers had to reset one of our customer service computer screens as the screen had froze. Instead of resetting the system (per instructions from Tech), he kept trying to hit the login button. This would be fine and dandy but he was trying to complete this task without a Username and password. Those fields were both empty.
This went on for about a good 15 minutes until he gave up.
Aerodynamics professor. One of the top in its domain of expertise. During one of our class, he typed "google" in the address bar of IE. This brings him to bing searching for google. He realized, he's not on google. Closes the browser. Reopen IE enter "google.com", and proceed to search google in the google bar. We were flabbergasted
I'm probably too late, but in a computer class the teacher said "let's close the windows", only to have one of the students stand up and close the physical windows.
I had a tech call once where a lady told me her screen was shaking. I walked over to her office to take look, but the screen seemed fine to me. The mystery was solved when she offered me some corn nuts.
I had another one where a lady said her system was making cricket noises. I went so see her right a way in case she was having a HDD failure. Nope. She had an actual cricket in her desktop.
EDIT: More of them
I had a user that got ransomware on his system. Ransomware is that malware that tells you to put in your credit card number and it will unlock you system. He got it on his work computer, but instead of bringing it to us to fix, he paid them. Well, of course when you actually pay the ransom, they don't "unlock" your computer, they simply take your money. He brought it to us after that and we fixed it for him (for free of course). That's not the dumb part though. The dumb part is that it happened to him again and he paid...again. He almost did it a third time, but one of his co-workers stopped him.
I had a guy walk up to me and drop his laptop on my desk. He said, "Rogue wave" and walked away. His laptop was filled with sand and seawater.
One morning I had a guy bring his system to me with a virus. I fixed it and gave it back to him that afternoon. He brought it back within an hour with the exact same virus.
Keep in mind that these are all professionals and most of them are engineers.
I once asked a coworker to transfer some images to me on a thumb drive, and she looked at me like I was an idiot. Then I thought, "maybe she's never heard it by that name," so I proceeded to call it every other name I could think of, and she was still clueless as to what I was talking about. I then described what they were for- we're both in our twenties in graduate school, so I thought this was some weird joke. She got offended when I kept trying to explain the necessity of them. She said something to the extent of "Why would I ever need one of those?" So I just gave up.
I do IT in the Army. I had a brand new full bird Colonel ask me to make his computer work in his new office. When I arrived he had a laptop docking station hooked up to monitor and was pressing the laptop eject button asking me why it won't turn on. Military Intelligence in counterintuitive
I checked my moms messenger and found out she had been texting some random person with the same first name as my brother. She had done a Facebook search and just clicked the first person that popped up when she typed his name. This had been going on for months. She sent pictures, happy birthday messages, news about her dog. The guy had accepted her friend request but never once replied to any of her messages.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Worked IT for a few years. Thankfully it was for internal employees so it was always relatively tame. My favorite was from a middle-aged woman in accounting.
Woman: Hey, my internet stopped working.
Me: Alright ma'am, can you ensure that the network cable it plugged in, and the link lights are on?
Woman: Just a sec...uh yep they are! Still no internet. I need this resolved ASAP, I have deadlines to meet today!
So I made my way over there. Got to her desk, sat down and noticed the screen was dark. Try moving the mouse, but it stays black.
Woman: See? No internet!
I look under the desk and see that the monitor power cable in slightly unplugged. I plug it fully into the outlet and the monitor immediately comes back to life.
Working at a small tech company, our sales lady constantly complains that her computer "has issues". This is because any time it attempts to run Windows Update, she holds the power button until it forces a shutdown, and then turns it back on and attempts to run it as usual. She has absolutely no idea that you can set it to run updates at certain times and apparently doesn't read the only text on the screen, reading DO NOT TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER when the updates start. It fucking drives me insane.
You have to enter a password to begin taking tests at my school. One of my professors wrote the incorrect password, and when informed it didn't work, her response was "Well, I know I wrote it down that way, but have you tried typing it in without underlining it?"
Sold a family friend an old desktop. When I was showing her how to power on, and use the mouse, it halted at the mouse. I was like "now take the mouse and left click on the start button", cue her putting her hand on the mouse and moving it off the table! So I put my hand on top of hers and showed her how to gently move the mouse. As soon as I removed my hand, her hand and mouse went flying off the table again!
My first job out of college. Older machine shop supervisor would move the mouse by using his middle three fingers to nudge it in each direction from the opposite side (to move it up, he would push from the back, etc.). Once the cursor was where he wanted it, he would lift his hand about 1 foot above the mouse, point his finger, and then slowly bring it down to click the button.
We got my mother in law a new laptop for Christmas. She called and said she couldn't get on to check her email because the Internet was broken. I knew she had wifi but hadn't turned it on in the computer but said she had plugged it in with the chord in the box.
I told her that should work fine thinking she had connected to the modem directly to her Ethernet port instead of wifi. It turns out she had just plugged the power cable into the laptop and expected to get internet working like it would magically work through the outlet.
Told a girl at work who's internet was running slow that if she straightened out the internet cord she would get a faster connection. 20 minutes later she told me it didn't help.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum, no matter how much I explain what tabs are, will close the page she's on, reopen Google Chrome, type Google into the search bar, go onto Google and click the link for Google and then finally type what we're going to be looking up. And if I try to speed up the process she bats my hand away.
1Metiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually having to explain how to press a key on the keyboard, because she either pressed it too long or too short to be registred. Typing in her mail adres in the browser adres bar (btw, we've been using computers for like 22 years now), not knowing how to turn the damn thing on and off, not being able to follow the most basic instructions, by any definition (e.g., press that (pointing) button) because she gets "stressed" when I'm trying to explain her anything etc etc
I was in elementary school so this would have been the early 90s. I vividly remember there being a news report about a computer virus that was going around and being spread over the internet maybe through an email attachment or something like that. I also remember the news reporters telling people to unplug their modems so they wouldn't get it while someone devised a fix.
I used to work in IT. On more than one occasion I plugged a power strip into itself. I'm normally pretty savvy but this just kept happening to me and took about 3 instances before that was the first thing I check when the power didn't come on right away.
My mom has a physiotherapy studio. Yesterday a second monitor that I bought arrived and when I was installing enters my mom:
Mom "Hey since you bought another monitor give me the old one so I can bring it to the studio to watch TV on my breaks."
Me "You don't even watch TV anymore, you just watch Netflix, why don't you just take your notebook and watch Netflix there? (She has wifi on her studio)"
Mom "And there is Netflix there?"
She watchs Netflix on the smarttv on our living room and was probably thinking that Netflix was something like cable tv, I assume, but still...FML!
And thats only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to technology and my mom. And theres only me and her in our house so...yeah...
Trying to google something in the documents search bar
Weioo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back around 2000 my dad tried using a computer for the first time. He ended up with the mouse pointer near the bottom of the screen and the mouse at the top of the mouse pad. He asked me "how do I continue moving up?"
Me - "Dad, you can lift the mouse off the mouse pad and reposition it, it's not attached."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
User: Hey Nate, do you know anything about IPhones?
Me: Not really but what seems to be the problem?
User: The speaker is really low, they can hear me but I can't really hear them and I have the volume turned all the way up.
Me: Proceeds to take the protective plastic (shipping material) off the phone
User: "I'm going back to my office now..."
Nenry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know it's not much, but my mother finally got rid of her Juno.com email recently.
My grandma was over from the UK for a few weeks and she wanted to send a message to my uncle back in the UK, so my dad goes "OK, we'll send him an email." With the most innocent confused tone I've ever heard she ask's "is it a normal typewriter?" I was 14 at the time so I lel'd pretty hard.
My friends mom was having trouble with her pc as it kept freezing and getting error messages
Calls up IT support
She explains her problem
IT guy: ok first your going to have to close all the windows open currently
Friends mom: really? I have to close all of them?
IT guy: yes before we can more forward, you have to close all the windows currently open
Friends mom: mmmm ok? Just give me a few minutes. Runs up stairs on the in her bedroom and shuts the window, tell her son to close the window in his room, as she heads into the living rooms and kitchen to shut the window.
She gets back on the phone still confused, and says was there like dust coming in from outside and that's why it's not working?
The it guy couldn't even comprehend that she had closed all the windows in the house for another 5 minutes. She then realized what she has done and then quickly hangs up out of embarrassment and call back for hoping for another it guy.... She didn't get another guy
Co-worker told me her computer was freezing on her. Told her the computer must be cold, to rub the sides and warm it up. She proceeded to do it. Took her about 5 seconds to ask, Does this really work?
When my uncle wondered why his phone batteryy life was so short and I had to explain to him that he needed to turn the screen off before putting it in his pocket
We were looking for some cheap last minute holidays.
She types in - What are some cheap flights to Spain around September, something like that.
She doesnt know you only need to type in key words like, cheap flights spain, ect.
Ru-Ling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When in the USAF, I had a MSgt tell me that the "TV" part of the computer wasn't working. When asked what was wrong, he said it was just amber (this was a CRT monitor). It's worth mentioning that I noticed he had been sitting at his desk for a good five minutes just staring at the monitor in question. I went to his desk, pushed the on/off button on the front, and said "there, I fixed it."
When I signed out of my Mom's Amazon right in front of her she freaked the fuck out. This is because the sign out says, "Not Jackie? Sign out!" and she started yelling not to tell it she's not Jackie and now she'll never be able to sign in again and that I ruined her Amazon experience.
It's a good laugh now, but I don't plan on being her free child tech support too often anymore haha.
Asks me how to open the internet. I open the browser. He goes to youtube and starts typing in eBay search terms and is thoroughly confused when videos come up. This happened about twice a week for a few years.
New employee proceeds to turn on CAPS LOCK, press P, then turn CAPS LOCK off and type the rest of her password.
I also got an email once asking if the Exchange server was down. That was kinda special.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a customer once who paid me to install a printer for them. Gets it home, doesn't work. Comes back. I plug it in again and no issues.
I'm perplexed at this point, but because I am a printer person, I make sure to demonstrate the hookups.
The man with a PhD was putting the usb cable in the phone port on the back... "oh, I though it was a little loose, but I'm not a printer person, so..."
Or the small business secretaries that used a computer blatantly loaded with adware and viruses to do their online banking for 2 months before bringing it to me.
Late to the party, so I'm sure this will get buried.
I asked a lady at work to tell me where on our network drives I could find a couple files. She sends back 3 emails:
No subject or body. 8MB .bmp attachment. It's a screenshot of a folder in windows explorer.
Same thing, screenshot of another folder, 8MB.
An email letting me know that she just sent me 2 screen shots.
It's amazing to me that this lady knows how to take a screenshot, paste it into paint, and save it as a .bmp, but she doesn't know how to copy and paste a link.
I was on the phone with my grandmother a couple years ago. She said she thought her computer had a virus, and she was in the process of figuring out how to open the case so she could throw the motherboard out to get rid of the virus.
Had customers attempt to type the whole 90ish character http:// address of the reset link into the password box of our website after requesting a password reset. Explaining that they needed to click the link was always fun.
A friend was having problems with the mouse on her p.c. Came to find her using it as a pedal. I had to walk out and take a breath.
Toovya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a government job so you can imagine that tech savvy isn't exactly commonplace, specially amongst elderly women. Anything .gov gets targeted by hackers and after much insistence to avoid any problems just do it the way the tech guys tell you to. Anyway she insisted on doing it her way with her own E-mail because it's too complicated to doing it the normal way. Ended up getting her email hacked, gets the entire department investigated by the FBI, and still refuses to believe she did something wrong. Still doesn't realize she could've compromised entire networks just by hackers using her E-mail for phishing. Good thing she's not in the military or every advancement would be publicly broadcasted.
Telsea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Working at a computer store, I had a lady hand me a wired mouse and ask how to change the batteries.
I explained to my mother that I was buying a projector to connect to my computer, and she clearly didn't understand how it worked, and asked if me if it "projected onto my computer screen"
A friend moved across the country to California. When her parents asked if she used facebook she said 'I do, but we have a different internet out here in California so you can't see my page.' and they bought it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents thought I locked them out of their computer because the password screen said "Caps Lock on"
zaghop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People who say "I'm just not good with computers" drives me crazy. I feel like that's just their excuse for taking 2 seconds to figure it out...
My dad accepted a promotion at his place of work. He was now a manager after several years as a team lead and an individual contributor before that. One of the first tasks as manager was to create a spreadsheet, so he asked for my help since he wasn't savvy on Excel.
I think I nearly made his head explode when I showed him Ctrl+C Ctrl+V. I had to start with the pre-basic basics. For all intents and purposes, he knew absolutely nothing of Excel.
I have two possibles. One was a company that was still using Windows 95 in 2003. They had a big security hole in their network that if you clicked cancel on the login screen you could get into the computers and on the Internet. The other was a man who whenever he received an email would print it out, hand write his response on the printout then leave it on the senders desk.
I worked for an ISP in the late 90s and we offered in house technical support for customers (Installing hardware, virus removal, etc.) Customer was having trouble installing new RAM sticks. He put the new sticks on the board but his computer wouldn't power on anymore. After checking with him over the phone, we had him bring the machine in to the office. He did not know how to open the case so he literally sawed the back of the computer off with a hacksaw. He was very confused why it wouldn't work anymore.
Recently I spilled some water on my Macbook Air. It seemed okay, but some of it got between the keys, so I figured I'd better do something about it. I still remember the exact thought process I went through:
I know I've seen people dry hardware using a hair dryer. So I went to look for a hair dryer, and eventually realised I don't own one. But wait a minute, I do have a heat gun, and those are basically like hair dryers! I'll just be reaaaaally careful...
Turns out it doesn't take much heat to make your Macbook keys curl into interesting shapes. They sure were dry though.
I worked in retail, we sold all sorts of things, including computers.
I had a lady in he 60s come in with her laptop begging me for help. I asked her what was wrong and she told me that her screen all of a sudden got bigger. Logged into her laptop and everything seemed fine, then she tells me " no when I'm on Facebook, everything is just bigger" so o open up Internet explorer, go to her Facebook and zoom out the page for her, I had to repeat this a few times for her to get it, she then acted like I was some miracle worker and hugged me and everything.
LRA91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend and I decided to show my mother in law Pokemon Go as she was curious. A Rattata appeared in her living room which we thought she would find interesting (she seemed to be understanding it) but she proceeded to panic and thought Pokemon were "hacking her wifi" and wondered if there was a way to "opt out"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Helped an aunt with her resume. Asked her where she wanted me to email it.
"To my computer at home"
"Ok... do you have an email address"
"Yes, but I want it at my home computer"
"Do you have the internet?"
"Yes"
"Then I'll send it to your email and you can get it anywhere"
"But I want to keep it here for a while in case I want to change it"
"It doesn't go away when I email it"
"Well then how am I going to get it on my home computer if it is still here?"
"When you email it, it makes a copy of it"
"But what if I change the original?"
"Then send the new one to your email address"
"But how will I send it to my email address if i'm here. My email address is at home."
... "I'll take care of it. Just get it from your email when you get home"
My manager needed to clean their mail out, which meant printing every email out.
L3NU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My coworker asked me how to transfer files and i told him that he simply had to drag the files into the folder, and he asks me "how do you drag a file?"
Not explicitly computer related, but tech related. I've worked as a help desk tech several times, but my best case by far was a teacher that was baffled as to why her printer had stopped working, I checked the back and found the ethernet cable had been run from the cat5 port and forcibly jammed back into the printers phone line port, and the USB similarly smashed into a nook that wasn't even a port. Her claim was that she hadn't touched it and that the last tech set it up that way. I was the tech that set up the printer, a week prior. Fairly certain I didn't set it up in that fashion.
It was my computer, so I knew it had the word delete spelled out on it. I didn't consider that. I was mostly like "really??" that she had to ask how to spell such a simple word.
I worked with a lawyer once, nicest guy ever. Yale graduate, Marine, active in the community. Anyone would be lucky to have him for their grandfather. I was responsible for the mail room and printing center in the firm. Every so often, this guy would bring me a webpage or an email that he had printed, and he would ask me to scan the page to his email so that he could forward it to someone. Sometimes, if I were in a hurry, I would just do it. Other times, I would lead him back to his office and show him how he could send it straight from his browser. He was always very appreciative of my help but not very interested in learning more about the technology that he used everyday.
Friend unplugs parents computer. Cleans it. Plugs it back in. Computer does not start. Power Cable does not work now. Had to use other cable.
He broke the power cable cleaning the computer. I also have to update this guys avast registration every 6 months because he can't enter his own email.
I gave a girl our mumble server address to get into VOIP for a raid in FFXIV. She typed it in her browser's url bar and kept complaining that the voice chat url wouldn't work.
I set up a computer with a DSL modem for a friend of my parents'. He's not a computer genius, but with some assistance and explaining, he even learned how to grab and edit videos or do some basic image editing. He was maybe around 50.
His wife though (roughly the same age) was a different story. She wanted to be able to google stuff, mainly to find embroidery patterns and maybe some cooking recipes. Now this happened back when most people didn't have a flatrate, but only a limited data volume.
So I explained to her that she had to click on the grey icon in the windows system tray that looked like a globe, choose โconnectโ in order to connect to the internet so that it would turn blue, then open the browser by double-clicking the desktop symbol, then google whatever she liked, and when she was done, close the browser, click on the same globe icon and choose โdisconnectโ.
This was way too much for her. I tried to explain the concept of a โconnectionโ, just like when she wanted to use her iron, she had to plug it into a socket first, because otherwise it would have no electricity, and the same is true for the internet, except that it's about data instead of electricity. She didn't get it. She tried to start by clicking โdisconnectโ first, which was grayed out, which confused her terribly. She opened the browser without connecting first, saw the error message and got very worried that she had broken something. She connected and then instantly disconnected, asking me afterwards โso what now, where is Google?โ. I was at my wits' end.
Her husband then explained to her the concept of โconnectionโ by comparing it to marriage. It seemed to work much better. I still don't know to this day what went on in this woman's mind.
Mind you, this woman worked as an auxiliary policewoman for the regulatory agency. She used her handheld device for handing out parking tickets on a daily basis.
This involves coworker Scooter, bless her soul, a middle-aged lady who counts incoming garments and also operates the press that puts vinyl graphics on shirts. I was showing her on my monitor some art going on a shirt, and she kept telling me it was too small. Turns out she thought everything on the screen is to scale with real-life. She didn't know anything about scaling or zooming out, or anything like that. The art was sized 12" but she thought that preview was so, so tiny.
At work we had loaded videos onto a portable drive to share between several people. One of the senior directors was complaining that after using the drive she couldn't find the videos on her computer. I asked where she had saved them on her computer. She didn't. She thought that just plugging in the hard drive would automatically place on her computer.
Bing is still a better search engine for finding porn, because it still lags behind Google's ability to filter explicit search results. Also, Google being the go-to search engine for mostly everyone means that it gets the majority of copyright notices to take down listings for infringing results, or entire sites. A lot of these results are obviously porn. Bing doesn't get nearly as many DMCA notices as Google.
In short, your friend may not be computer illiterate, he may just love t3h pr0n.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:25:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't be surprised if that's the reason why he likes Bing. He always says that google tracks your searches, and now you've given me an idea why he doesn't want his searches tracked!
My GENERAL MANAGER at zaxby's had to ask my manager how to send an email. He also thought he had to on the district managers email to send him stuff, and didn't know he was supposed to send an email from his email
moha384 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Customer called in - couldn't sign into her accounts and has been trying for a week since she received her new computer.
Our site is working fine - after talking with her for about 10 minute with her yelling now and getting really angry. I ask her "did you plug the computer in and turn it on?" Her reply, "it's inside the box, but the screen is touch screen."
The computer never got taken out from the box and for 1 week she kept pressing the screen and nothing worked.
I work in a dentist office, so we use software for generating and sending out the bills to insurance companies. Sometimes, patients update their insurance and we have to enter new identification numbers on the software.
All of my coworkers are women 15-20 years my senior and they don't know jack about technology. I had one coworker (who is the nicest, kindest new mom) bring up the document which listed a patient's new ID number, print it out and then use that copy to enter the ID number into our billing software. When I showed her that she could minimize the windows showing the document and our billing software to view both at the same time on the same screen, she was blown away. She was even more blown away when I showed her that she could copy and paste the new ID number onto the software form instead of having to type it all out again. The office operated like that for roughly 15 years before I was hired.
So I was a teacher's Aid in a class that taught Cisco's CCNA courses. These are very difficult courses that teach you how to design and build large computer networks. I was helping a new guy make his account for the website we use for class, and I asked him to go to the Internet. He seemed confused so I asked him to click the "E". He tried to press the screen with his finger. I told him it wasn't a tuch screen and that he had to use the mouse. He still looked confused so I pointed to the mouse next to him. He picks up the mouse and touches the internet explorer icon on the screen with the mouse. I had the teacher ask him to take some basic computer skills course after that. I never found out if he did though.
Working IT at a college. Was moving a computer in the student affairs office from one counter, to a counter on the opposite wall. I switch the computers, reconnect everything, and one of the employee's asked me
"Are you going to move the monitor also?"
"No, only the computers needed to be swapped."
She responded with "Well, what about all of my icons? Won't they be gone?"
When you say "Witness," does over the phone count?
I used to be a phone monkey for AOL. I took inbound 1-800 calls from members (or prospective members) to offer technical support. I did this for 9 months in the mid 90s.
At that time, one of the big fast food places (McDs, Burger King, Wendy's, I can't remember) handed out 3.5" floppies with the AOL software on it. Printed on the label was the following: "All you need is a hard drive and a modem!"
Back then, people still had PCs that ran on dual floppies, thus the specification for the hard drive.
I took a call from a guy who went down to Office Depot or whatever and purchased a hard drive and a modem. As in, a physical HDD, not a CPU WITH an HDD. And a modem. He had no CPU, no keyboard, no monitor, nada. He wanted instructions on how to connect to AOL using a hard drive and a modem.
After almost 30 years in corporate IT....
Then there's my brother-in-law....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tries to take selfie with camera that doesnt have a camera on the screen side. Instead of trying to and probably failing at taking it with the camera facing away he tries to take one with the screen pointed at him. He takes about half a dozen pictures before he starts getting mad that this shitty devices isnt doing what he wants it to.
My grandmother using her iPad with her finger acting like a sledgehammer.
Mjv2687 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its iphone related, my mom recently got her first. We begin texting and all of a sudden she send a frustrated text asking why I keep sending three dots and then taking them away... Oh mom..
Trying to check the internet for the installation instructions for a new router before the router is installed to connect to the internet and then complaining that there is no internet therefore the required information is not available. Instruction manual be damned.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't witness it personally, but my former roommate told me about a woman in her office who didn't even know how to use a mouse. She had to explain left click to her.
My mother wanted to order tickets for my father for his birthday. I helped her go through TicketMaster to find the tickets, but before you can check out you have to create an account (or at least, at this time you did...maybe 10 years ago?). She made a username and put her in email, clicked to the next section then paused. She looked at me and said "I don't wanna give them my password!".
Needless to say, my sister and I lost it. And my mom sat there furious that we found it so funny that she wanted to keep her password a secret - we eventually stopped laughing long enough to explain that it was not the password to her email, but to create an account to log in on.
I just posted but I have another great one. I work for my father, well at the same place as him. One day I came home late (still live with my parents) and found him sitting at our dining room table pissed as hell. I asked what was wrong and he slams the laptop he's on shut and says, "this damn thing doesn't work. I'm going to have a talk with person who is the contact with our IT department tomorrow!".
Next Day:
My dad leaves the office for a meeting and the previously mentioned guy walks in and tells me "earmuffs", followed by "These old guys are going to be the death of me.", directed at my supervisor. He proceeded to tell us that my father came in furious because he could not access a certain document off of our shared drive while he was trying to work from home. The problem was the document was saved onto his desktop, and not the shared drive to begin with.
Late to the party but still wanted to share. My English teacher back in high school called the front office to find out where the enter key was on the keyboard. We told her we could help her out but she said something along the lines of "you guys don't know anything". I also found out from a friend that the next class period she called the front office again to find out where the esc key was on the keyboard.
For some reason, my uncle bought my grandmother a digital camera. She took about 24 pictures and then replaced the SD card. She put it in an envelope and put it in a drawer where she keeps her negatives. She had five cards in there before we found out.
I have to share this story! So I was staying in a hotel in Washington D.C. about a year ago. I was waiting in the lobby for my parents to come down stairs. Next to me there was a computer and printer that could be used by guests. An older woman (probably mid 60s) was on the computer, checking her email. I hear her start to huff and puff but I pay her no mind. Finally she comes up to me and in an angry voice asks me (I'm assuming because I was in my 20s) if I could help her print something. "It won't work when I try it." I look at the computer and printer and in 2.2 seconds I immediately spot the problem. Without saying a word I calmly press the on button on the printer. I tell her it should just take a moment and she can try again. The look of disdain and anger this woman gave me. She was infuriated that I figured it out, she couldn't even say thank you. I sat back down in my seat as she continued to grumble, print her tickets and then stomped away.
anton2g ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in tech support in a hospital when I got a ticket that simply said "My keyboard has fallen off my computer". I was pretty confused, seeing as none of the staff had laptops and it was only desktops in the hospital. After wondering what it was about with my coworkers, I went to check it out. Turns out she had the keyboard tray under her desk fall off. We are not maintenance, but she legit thought this was a computer problem.
My wife works in a library, she had a patron who was asking for computer help because her laptop wouldn't turn on and she was going to to buy a new one. My wife asked her when was the last time it was plugged in to charge. Her response was "it has to be charged?"
My grandma's 70. My cousin bought her iPad for games. She has a laptop and an iPhone 6. I don't know why she has all of this but whatever. Well, she calls me and asks me to come over to help her with her computer.
This woman looks at me and says, "I don't know how to change my profile picture on Facebook back. I accidentally changed it to a picture of goddamit_adam's cousin." I just sat there and blinked at her for a minute. I went to her profile and changed it back. She hugged me and acted like I just saved her from being killed.
She then says me, "if I'm on Facebook on my laptop, is Facebook (the app) still on my phone?? Am I still logged in?"
I once had a coworker who asked me "how to you make stuff blue". I thought he asking how change the display or change text to look blue....he meant how do you highlight something.
I was taking a C++ course a few years ago while I was still in secondary school, this course was hosted by a local college. First class of the course, I'm sitting beside a guy, he's a lot older than me, I'd guess around 40. When asked to boot up the PCs, I notice him repeatedly pressing the power button on the monitor, not pressing the power button on the computer. I help him, and, he of course, needs a lot more help throughout the class. He didn't come back next week.
It's probably not the most computer illiterate thing I've seen, but I found it hilarious that it was at a coding class.
ITPalAl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A user thought the CD drive was a cup holder, and complained when her 'cup holder' was broken
Instead of using the rectangle tool to draw a square, they used the line tool to draw four sides.
Amanoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone on TV who thought she could fix her PC by aiming a laser pointer at the light in her PSU. And she wanted to tell everyone about the magic of control - alt - delรชtt
My old boss didn't know how to copy and paste. He refused to acknowledge it was a basic task of using the computer and got me to go into his office every time.
He would type emails in microsoft word (so he could save them and work on them the next day because it took him so fucking long to type) then want to copy and paste them. He tried using a highlighter when I told him to "Highlight the text"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine's mom said she couldn't send an email because her printer was out of ink.
I know I am late to the party, but I feel like I need to share this. I worked at the Apple store during college and had quite a few "interesting" experiences with customers, all the way from shitting in a corner to dry-humping while I showed them speakers. However, one of my favorites has to be the iPod shuffle lady.
So, I am working the iPod area and helping folks figure out which iPod would be best for them. A lady comes in and says she wants something small for working out and doesn't want too many buttons to figure out. I lead her over to the iPod Shuffles (2nd generation, little clippy ones) and tell her that this would be the best bet for her. She looks at the shuffle for a second, kinda puzzled, then looks at me and asks "Wait, how does this play my CD? Do I just clip it on?".
Needless to say, I ended up spending about another hour or so with her explaining how digital music worked.
TL;DR; - Lady thought iPod shuffle was a CD player.
This will get lost but I hope some see it because it's really funny. I set Skype up for my Mum one afternoon and told her I'd call her later. So, later that night I call her and she answers but I can only hear her quietly like she's on the other side of the room. We try again and again and the same thing happens. I know I've set it up right because I'd checked it before I left. The next day, I go and check it when she's not home and everything is fine. Same thing occurs that night, and the next, and the next.. well, not everyday, but often. There's one consistency though, everytime I check to make sure everything is okay, she's not there, she's out of the room or in work or whatever. Eventually I ring her in the house and ask her to answer the way she has been. THE WOMAN WAS ANSWERING THE MOUSE. She was literally pressing answer, then lifting up the mouse, turning it sideways, putting it to her ear and talking to it.
Between that and another - my sister's friend physically lifting her laptop upside down for months because she had turned the screen upside down... It's something like ctrl, shift and a direction to change and sometimes, I've done, it happens by accident... She did this, by accident, and left it for months and used the laptop upside down. She had to connect a keyboard so she could type! - I think I've seen some of the best of all time.
My sister was maybe 4 or 5 at the time. She was listening to something on the computer with those over the ear headphones on. I guess the volume wasn't loud enough, so she put her headphoned ear up close to the monitor to get a better listen.
One of my work colleagues had his kid in 6( year old) and hid iPad's battery ran out.
So we set him up with a desktop pc to play some games online.
Straight off he starts poking the screen saying the computer is broken.
It was funny watching him learn to use a mouse for the fist time and get the hang of double clicking and right clicking.
My ex gf and i were at her cozens house visiting once. Her son got in trouble so she decided to ground him from the internet. She did this by DELETING THE INTERNET EXPLORER SHORTCUT. To make matters even funnier her son gave her a great big smile and said he was sorry. Even he knew she didn't relay do anything. I never did correct her, i figure we should all be able to get away with something once or twice.
I used to work in IT support and here is the funniest one I encountered.
One of the ladies called complaining about how she was somehow "missing" part of her monitor. I asked her to try and explain a little further. Turns out she could see the start button, most of the icons, but the right hand side of the screen was still "missing". Remoted on to her PC, and everything looked fine, so I said I will have to come and have a physical look at it. Got to her desk, and she had stuck the latest phone list on the screen covering it. At this point she realises how much of a blonde moment she just had and starts apologising. I say its no problem, and head back to the team to laugh my head off.
My flatmates girlfriend asked me to read over the essay she had just typed out for college. I looked at it and told her the formatting was off, but she had no idea what I was talking about so I offered to show her. I tried to fully justify it on word but for some reason it stayed exactly the way it was. After a few minutes I realised that she treated Microsoft Word like it was a typewriter and hit return at the end of every line. It took us about 20 minutes to go through and fix the formatting.
The Director of the company I work for called me into his office because there was something wrong with the excel sheet that was sent to him.
The columns weren't wide enough so the figures came up as ######. T___T it took me longer to laugh light-heartedly and exit the room than it did to fix it.
Company moves into new office. Of course I'm sat next to the guy that no one really likes because we're on the same project.
Guy can't figure out why his monitors won't work. He doesn't have either of them plugged into the computer, instead they're just connected together with a single cord. This is a senior developer mind you.
A guy doing the same computer course as me asked me "What does PC stand for?" I laughed at him and refused to tell him and he angrily said "I am never talking to you again." I didn't have to worry about any awkwardness because I never saw him again after that day.
My boss was trying to fill up a form where you are asked to type the addition of two numbers, like "2 + 6" equals to 8 right? , he went out of his office to ask for help because the sign "+" was not accepted... He was trying to type " 2 + 6 "
To be fair, I'm not a Tech Illiterate guy, and I don't know what they're saying half the time. I swear I get called by Kreig from Borderlands 2 multiple times a day, for all the sense tech support calls make.
When they say things like "I need more megahurtz in my Gigabytz,". I might as well be hearing "I powered my cockatiel for the ribcage slaughter!"
I know a guy who believes he is the greatest hacker the world has ever seen that used the words "computer" and "harddrive" interchangeably. I don't think he understands that there are separate components with their own function inside of the desktop, which is pretty sad considering that he is constantly bragging about his knowledge of computers.
One time my dad texted me to help him because he couldn't find the calculator on the computer. I came out of my room to see if he was serious, he was, and I said nothing and walked away.
Major PC company sent us test machines that were supposed to match what we were going to order for our replacements.
They sent ball mice (this is when optical mice had been standard for at least 5 years), computers with VGA only out, and monitors that only accepted DVI in.
We told them to fix it, they sent acceptable test machines. When we ordered our big order we received over 100 ball mice. We told them nope, they sent optical mice and didn't take the ball mice back.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:02 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was interning as an IT tech for my local library, I was asked to help a patron with a computer problem. OK no problem.....she needed help using the computer to take one of those job application what would you do in the workplace type of tests...do you work well with others etc. Fine no problem, she might need techical help during the process.
But no she kept asking me what the right answer was or what to select. Uh ma'am this test is based on how YOU would respond. I cant give you the answer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:02 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Trying to explain to my dad that his internet service is not designed for wireless connectivity at the speeds he is running. I cant get it through that what he has is not conducive to mobility.
who the hell. tries to use wireless connectivity on 8 mbs. Utterly (crappy local isp I will never use....ever.)
And than I feel bad when I tell him I am running 175 and never have an ounce of trouble.
I heard this story from an IT teacher, it happened when computers were not so mainstream in my country. Once someone had called him, that the computer's 'cup holder" broke. He went to their place to find out, what they mean by that. It turns out that they have been using the computer's CD reader as a cup holder.
hznwlf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:44 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my coworker's doesn't know how to "Save as" or save at all in Word.
Not the most computer illiterate thing I have witnessed, but definitely something the infuriated me.
I work a somewhat iconic position where people trust they can bring their computer issues to me. One man had an issue with his All-In-One computer, what exactly I forget. After giving him the basic routine of what we do, diagnostics firstly to find if there are any hardware issues or malware, he gives me this long rant about how he knows computers and has been working with them for a very long time. He just needed us to do our jobs and fix this one thing on his computer in case we come up with something he didn't. Talks down to me the entire time because I obviously didn't know what I was talking about.
After that, I finally manage to get him checked in for whatever issue he talked about for 15 minutes and put his computer in the back. As usual, I ask him to take his wireless keyboard and mouse because we don't typically take accessories at the risk we may lose them.
This ass proceeds to laugh at me and treat me like an idiot because the keyboard and mouse "go with the computer and are the only ones that will work with it. If one is gone, you can't use the computer. You can't just plug another into the computer." Meanwhile I am smiling and pointing at the USB ports in the back. I eventually give in and put his shit with his other shit in the back while the people who do the actual repair are getting the computer set up and plugging in our own mouse and keyboard instead of his oh so special ones because of course you can just plug in a keyboard and a mouse in his damn computer.
To top everything off, he gave us his business card because he is some legal consultant. He wanted us to have it, just in case something went wrong at our business and we needed him.
He also chose a terrible font for his logo that made it look like the word PIGS, so now that is the name I call him by.
As formerly an intern in the office I now work in.
Lady: "Could you secure my computer from the network? I want to make sure nobody, not even you guys can look at what I'm doing, which is very confidential."
Me: "We can't see what you're doing from our room, Ma'am. We're too busy fixing other people's stuff to snoop around. Nothing is shared over the network by default. You determine if you want to share anything over the network."
Lady: "But please, could you do something about that, dear? I want my files secured."
This lady books tickets for executives. Even if we did have remote software, we still wouldn't give a single fuck what she did on her computer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:17:00 on October 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bam just a random comment to revive this chat and the beautiful meme that came with it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:17:00 on October 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bam just a random comment to revive this chat and the beautiful meme that came with it.
True, but unless viruses delete themselves, when I got virus protection it should've shown up with the viruses right?
rittney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:36 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least 5 times a year I have to deal with 'my computer froze up'. So I grab two double a batteries, go over to the employees desk and place the batteries in the mouse. Voila.
I didn't learn about CTRL+X until I was a freshmen in high school/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:45 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Asked someone (over the phone) to right click on something. The didn't understand and wrote 'click' on their screen with a sharpie. Fortunately it was a CRT screen so I was able to clean off the monitor.
A lady I work was bitching saying she had to drive for two hours to drop something off with her husband who was out of town. When I asked what it was, she said it was a hard drive with a PowerPoint presentation on it. Both of them had access to email...
Telogor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Mom has always used internet explorer and about a week ago I couldn't stand how slow it was so I showed her Google chrome and the first think she asked when she opened it was how to get to Google.
Telling mom she should restart to fix error. Says she did 10 times. I restart, it fixes, she says "what is that that you did?" I reply, "I restarted the computer...how did you restart the computer?" Proceeds to turn monitor on and off.
Co-worker, "the internet is gone!" The icon was moved over 2 spaces.
Other co-worker is afraid she'll erase her old data by saving as. I explained save as creates a new file. In one ear out the other.
Other co-worker didn't know why computer power button was on but monitor was black. When I go to computer she is referring to...guess what, it was a shredder. Seriously...wtf.
Dad can't find downloaded files. I have to make everything save to desktop for him.
Mom called att when internet goes down, tells me "He told me to open a browser, idiot, I can't open a browser when the internet is down."
Co-worker doesn't know why printer won't print. Maybe cause it wasn't plugged in.
j3wxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher of mine told me a story about a woman using an Apple back in the day. She had put the mouse on the floor and was operating it like a sewing machine. Good times.
My Granddad trying to teach my Nan to use a mouse was priceless.
"Okay, put your hand on the mouse. The mouse. No, this thing here. Now move it. No, don't pick it up, put it down. Put your hand back on it. Move it across the table. DON'T PICK IT UP! Just drag it. There, now see the arrow? See how the arrow moves when you do that? Now try clicking. No, click the mouse. With your finger. Not like that..."
So back in the day we used to play minesweeper and at the time there was not really a save function on our home computer. At the same time mum would complete work from her computer and we would swap depending on the time.
An important day came along for mum completing reports for an accountancy firm she was involved with. She had begun learning some basic skills on the computer as it was all fairly new at this point. She left her work open after committing to half of it to send me and my brother to football practice, my dad at this point took this opportunity to take a much needed break on the computer for a game of minesweeper and a coffee. He can only what I assume began a game at the hardest difficulty 100x100 squares? And had left it incomplete on the desktop.
Mum came home and rushed back to her reports only to be met with the familiar grey boxed background covering over her word document.
I returned from football practice to meet my mum screaming at the top of the voice "HOW DARE YOU", "COMPUTER PIRATES"... Startled I rushed into see my mums make-up ruined and she was a complete mess.
I asked her what was wrong and she had began to exclaim to me that a "virus" had infected the front of the computer and left a hideous stain on her work preventing her from viewing her reports which she had spent the past 3 days preparing.
I quickly rectified the error by actually thinking I had to complete the game to close it, 3 long hours we both spent trying to rid our selves of this "minesweeper" virus on the computer in which dad returned later that night to finish by simply pressing the Red Cross at the top.....
Mum never used a computer again, I will always double check for crosses in the top corner before allowing anything to appear on my screen for longer than 10 seconds.
So back in the day we used to play minesweeper and at the time there was not really a save function on our home computer. At the same time mum would complete work from her computer and we would swap depending on the time.
An important day came along for mum completing reports for an accountancy firm she was involved with. She had begun learning some basic skills on the computer as it was all fairly new at this point. She left her work open after committing to half of it to send me and my brother to football practice, my dad at this point took this opportunity to take a much needed break on the computer for a game of minesweeper and a coffee. He can only what I assume began a game at the hardest difficulty 100x100 squares? And had left it incomplete on the desktop.
Mum came home and rushed back to her reports only to be met with the familiar grey boxed background covering over her word document.
I returned from football practice to meet my mum screaming at the top of the voice "HOW DARE YOU", "COMPUTER PIRATES"... Startled I rushed into see my mums make-up ruined and she was a complete mess.
I asked her what was wrong and she had began to exclaim to me that a "virus" had infected the front of the computer and left a hideous stain on her work preventing her from viewing her reports which she had spent the past 3 days preparing.
I quickly rectified the error by actually thinking I had to complete the game to close it, 3 long hours we both spent trying to rid our selves of this "minesweeper" virus on the computer in which dad returned later that night to finish by simply pressing the Red Cross at the top.....
Mum never used a computer again, I will always double check for crosses in the top corner before allowing anything to appear on my screen for longer than 10 seconds.
B
(Sorry for awful storytelling)
Had a marine once wait for a print out to come out of a shredder is that counts, by far the funniest thing I've ever seen especially when the rest of them started lining up behind him thinking their paper work to print out of the paper shredder
oshaboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:16:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Besides ALL THE PEOPLE who don't know about the file manager search system and ALL THE PEOPLE who don't know what is youtube autoplay.
Well. There was that time where my grandmother tried downloading a camera. But it isn't THAT stupid
Also one time a private teacher (Israel gives free lessons to people with disabilities even if the disabilities have nothing to do with learning) couldn't find a file in the file system. So she just rewrote it from scratch. Then I came to the "lesson" and she told me about the file. I used the search engine and found it right on the main hard drive folder (D:/ืฉื_ืืจืื_ืืขืืจืืช.xls) no idea how it got there.
Other than that. I don't really know many computer illiterate people, especially not the ones that don't know that the computer doesn't work on in a power outage.
It was 8:15am, my second week on the job. I work L1 support at $LocalCommunityCollege$ part time. Iโm still in high school, so when you consider job options for people my age I think Iโm fortunate that I only have to deal with technologically impaired students and staff members, and not the general population of a McDonalds.... or at least I try to remind myself that if I get frustrated. Anyway, as I sat in my cubicle, contemplating life while sipping my coffee, my first call of the day came in.
$ME$: $LocalCommunityCollege$ Helpdesk, this is $ME$, how can I help you?
$STAFFMEMBER$: Hi, I would like to report a bug on the website
$ME%: (Internally) Oh boy, here we go
$STAFFMEMBER$: Just go to $EmployeeWebsite$ and you will see it
$ME$: Okโฆโฆ
As usual, I decided to play alongโฆ I went to the website and waited.
$StaffMember$: Just wait for itโฆ.
I waited a secondโฆ
$StaffMember$: There it was again! Have you seen it yet?
At this point, I saw it. I struggled to avoid losing my composure.
Someone in web development had decided it would be funny to place a gif of a tiny bug crawling out from behind the logo, across the screen, then back up into the logo again. It took me a minute to spot because this thing was maybe only 5-10 pixels wide.
$ME$: Yes maโam, I see it.
$StaffMember$: I just thought it should be reported, and I wanted to make sure it was safe to logonโฆ you know? I was worried the website might have been hacked or somethingโฆ I didnโt want to get a virusโฆ I just thought it should be reportedโฆ
She trailed off into some comment about viruses, or bugs, or god knows what. I was too busy trying not to laugh.
$Me$: Yes maโam, it is perfectly safe to logon, there should be nothing to worry about. Iโm not certain why that was placed there, but Iโm sure thereโs a good reason, and there is nothing to worry about.
We supplied our customer with two online systems. One managed tasks, and the other was an online database for storing documents and other files (yes weird having them separate, thus was the nature of this work). My customer had me come over to his desk one day because he was very frustrated with how he "had to keep logging in again and again to both of these systems". He was opening IE logging into to task system, then completely closing IE just to reopen it again and log into the database.. he was doing this over and over again. I had to show a grown-ass man (who's work literally involved a computer every day) how tabs worked on a browser.
TL;DR. Had to show a grown man how tabs worked in a browser
getagay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandpa. He thought that is you open a new tap or a browser the last one will close.
haha, that's fair. This lady worked in excel almost daily though. I realized after my first two weeks that I could automate her job with a couple of simple macros.
Yup. Granted, when I was a student, I pulled stuff like this to get extensions on assignments. This girl, on the other hand, clearly had no idea what she was doing.
When I helped one of my grandmothers friends install MS Word on her laptop, I told her to insert the disc into her CD drive. "Oh, you mean my coffee cup holder!?" She replied.
I went to a place that helps homeless people get into the workforce. I saw a guy who had never seen the internet before apparently. So I watched as this worker tried to explain how computers all over the world are connected through monitors. Strange...That was in 2010.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:47:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A woman that worked with me used to have paper sticky taped over the webcam on her work laptop in case someone was watching.
im teh google guy. " hey where do i find X in soand so game" i google it and tell them. y cant they google? i tell them to google it and they say im just so much better at finding it. im better cuz u never look.
can we get a school program that teach Google Foo? im really starting to think its needed
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:33:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can we get a school program that teaches how to write? I'm really starting to think it's needed
So back in the day we used to play minesweeper and at the time there was not really a save function on our home computer. At the same time mum would complete work from her computer and we would swap depending on the time.
An important day came along for mum completing reports for an accountancy firm she was involved with. She had begun learning some basic skills on the computer as it was all fairly new at this point. She left her work open after committing to half of it to send me and my brother to football practice, my dad at this point took this opportunity to take a much needed break on the computer for a game of minesweeper and a coffee. He can only what I assume began a game at the hardest difficulty 100x100 squares? And had left it incomplete on the desktop.
Mum came home and rushed back to her reports only to be met with the familiar grey boxed background covering over her word document.
I returned from football practice to meet my mum screaming at the top of the voice "HOW DARE YOU", "COMPUTER PIRATES"... Startled I rushed into see my mums make-up ruined and she was a complete mess.
I asked her what was wrong and she had began to exclaim to me that a "virus" had infected the front of the computer and left a hideous stain on her work preventing her from viewing her reports which she had spent the past 3 days preparing.
I quickly rectified the error by actually thinking I had to complete the game to close it, 3 long hours we both spent trying to rid our selves of this "minesweeper" virus on the computer in which dad returned later that night to finish by simply pressing the Red Cross at the top.....
Mum never used a computer again, I will always double check for crosses in the top corner before allowing anything to appear on my screen for longer than 10 seconds.
B
(Sorry for awful storytelling)
I was a Excel at Word 2003 except sometime when I'm finished, some people in my class just yolo and try copy me any way possible. That even included crawling which I don't care but, but I'm fking annoyed like GO DO YOUR OWN WORK, STUPID PEOPLE. HOW CAN HARD CAN IT BE DAMN IT.
Though it hard about writing what to what at times, I have to admit but come on.
A fellow 21 year old engineering intern at a large tech company didn't know that you can center text in Microsoft word...she used spaces to try and move the words to the middle of the page
Kairla88 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I went to my mom's office (she owns her own business) and next to her computer were directions on finding Word Documents. It started with "Turn On Computer."
Le sigh.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hillary Clinton..
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not what I was expecting to see in this thread, I'll be honest.
Saved comment
applepwnz ยท 23888 points ยท Posted at 21:08:54 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A real call I got once:
Me: "Tech Support, how can I help you?"
Them: "I'm not able to log into the website!"
Me: "Okay what message is it showing when you try to log in?"
Them: "SIR, I am NOT a computer person so I don't know."
Me: "Do you know which web browser you're using?"
Them: "I don't know what that is!"
Me: "Okay, when you want to go on the internet, do you click on a blue E, or a multicolored circle, or..."
Them: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A COMPUTER PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"
Titus_Favonius ยท 9242 points ยท Posted at 22:34:15 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine this but cars instead of computers
Man: My car is making a weird noise!
Mechanic: Alright, what's the make, model and year?
Man: SIR, I am NOT a car person so I don't know
Mechanic: Uh OK well there should be a symbol on the car, if you could describe that maybe we could get somehwere
Man: I don't know what that is!
Mechanic: Well what kind of car is it? Sedan, SUV?
Man: SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A CAR PERSON AND YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP
iamalwaysrelevant ยท 6780 points ยท Posted at 23:47:04 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can do this for anything and it would be awesome.
Man: The dish I am trying to cook came out all burned and yucky.
Cook: Alright, what did you try to make?
Man: SIR, I am NOT a food person so I don't know.
Cook: Uh OK well you bought the food from the grocery store so what ingredients did you buy?
Man: I don't know what that is!
Cook: Well how did you find the recipe? What type of food are trying to cook?
Man: SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A FOOD PERSON AND YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP
Sensorfire ยท 914 points ยท Posted at 10:14:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It gets weirder the more specific you get.
Me: "Tech Support, how can I help you?"
Them: "I'm not able to beat this video game!"
Me: "Okay what game is it and what level are you on??"
Them: "SIR, I am NOT a gamer so I don't know."
Me: "Do you know what genre or developer it has?"
Them: "I don't know what that is!"
Me: "Okay, when you start up the console, does it say Nintendo or Microsoft or..."
Them: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A GAMER, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"
Squirrella ยท 746 points ยท Posted at 05:00:26 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here we go.
Me: "Welcome to Big Damn Coffeeshop. Whatcha want?"
Them: "Your menu is so confusing!"
Me: "No worries. Would you like something hot or cold?"
Them: "SIR, I am NOT a coffee person so I don't know."
Me: "It's coo. Are you in the mood for something sugary, or do you prefer-"
Them: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU I'M NOT A COFFEE PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M LEAVING!"
xxfay6 ยท 286 points ยท Posted at 19:26:26 on September 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Basically my grandma in Starbucks...
BoredsohereIam ยท 1299 points ยท Posted at 05:02:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man: My wife is bleeding and it won't stop!
911 operator: OK sir where is she bleeding from?
Man: SIR, I am NOT a doctor person so I don't know.
Operator: I understand this is stressful just tell me if it's life threatening.
Man: I don't know what that is!
Operator: Please just tell me where you are so I can send someone to help you.
Man: SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A DOCTOR PERSON AND YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP
ChimpChief59 ยท 102 points ยท Posted at 08:56:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Best one imo
NoncreativeScrub ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 09:25:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually how a fair amount of calls go Q_Q
mxwp ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:18:08 on January 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, like the operator alludes to, i think a lot of people do freak out
mrlint ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 14:55:25 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an escalator not a doctor Jim!
afdryan13 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 20:20:35 on August 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an engineer not a doctor person, Jim!
A_Decoy_Decoy_Snail ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:51:13 on December 31, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a dispatcher, this happens to me everyday.
[deleted] ยท 3450 points ยท Posted at 00:20:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this is a great copypasta
RuneLFox ยท 8748 points ยท Posted at 01:22:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man: The copypasta I am trying to paste came out all reported and downvoted.
Admin: Alright, what did you try to paste?
Man: SIR, I am NOT a meme person so I don't know.
Admin: Uh OK well you copied the copypasta from the internet so what keywords does it have?
Man: I don't know what that is!
Admin: Well how did you find the copypasta? What type of pasta are trying to paste?
Man: SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A MEME PERSON AND YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP
Lupin_AAGL ยท 4434 points ยท Posted at 02:08:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am... Am I witnessing the birth of a fresh Reddit meme?
r6guy ยท 1999 points ยท Posted at 02:13:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think we are.. keep an eye out. I'm sure it will pop up occasionally.
xllcyllx ยท 667 points ยท Posted at 03:12:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Witnessed!
Telogor ยท 418 points ยท Posted at 04:46:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I witness your witnessing.
MasterOE ยท 262 points ยท Posted at 04:58:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I am witness to your witnessing of his witnessing.
po43292 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 07:35:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I DON'T KNOW WHAT A WITNESS IS. ARE YOU REFUSING TO HELP ME? I AM HANGING UP!!
Nazerr666 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:21:51 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WITNESS ME!
OnlyMostlySatan ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:04:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And I have witnessed your witnessing his witnessing of his witnessing.
pillowgrinder ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:45:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am THE witness for you having witnessed his witnessing of his witnessing of his witnessing
Darth-Pimpin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:44:45 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am a witnessโ
Hybrinoid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:21 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You need not follow...but you must witness!
fairietale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:03 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am a witness of you not HANGING UP!
Ghrafkly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kill The Witness, Save the world
pillowgrinder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:33:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ramsey, you don't understand at all.... I LOVE YOU but He's MY Son
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:28:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hi
pillowgrinder ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:27:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hello
shardikprime ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:14:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We are getting off track again. Gentlemen, the meme.
TheGrey_Wolf ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:02:00 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sir, I am not a meme person, so I'm going to hang up.
shardikprime ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:55:55 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One does not simply hangs out on a meme, there are rules about this.
pillowgrinder ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:37:51 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sir, I'm NOT a rules person so I'm gonna have to han [ User banned for not following rules]
proEndreeper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:44:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am a biwitness of your witnessing of the witnessing of the original witness.
shardikprime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We are getting off track again. Gentlemen, the meme.
Navae26 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:08:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have come to bear witness
Cobbleking32486 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
witness4
zburgz666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you just assume /u/telogor's gender?
Telogor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:38:02 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, it looks like he's assuming /u/xllcyllx's gender, as is grammatically correct.
DBWADE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:55 on September 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reporting in from 09/16 it's still alive and well
The-strat-Bear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:42 on January 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just witnessed you witnessing that guy witness a witness?!
Kaisermeister ยท 115 points ยท Posted at 11:51:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I sees a lotta things
jabbawock ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:36:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure what's going on, but I witnessed all of it!
Kaisermeister ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:27:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I ain't sayin nothin
shardikprime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We are getting off track again. Gentlemen, the meme.
BatmansItMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:11 on August 14, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah seent it.
PlsWai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:52 on November 30, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I sees many trees
Naturage ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 10:41:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your wistnessing of /u/xllcyllx witnessing the birth of a fresh copypasta has been logged, recorded, and shall remain in canon history.
klatnyelox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:05 on September 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Truth, this is indeed a meme now.
TriguyRN ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:41:26 on August 14, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was there.
hwmendoz ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 04:10:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am I too late for the witnessing?
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 07:01:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Darth-Pimpin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:33 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I already witnessed it, but only now am I coming back here to leave my mark.
Isomodia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:29:00 on October 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it too late now?
chicknfly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:50 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
nah I think you've witnessed in a timely manner.
blarpbarp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:09 on December 25, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Merry Christmas! Also, witnessed.
RothXQuasar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:27 on December 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Witnessed!
luminantAegis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:52 on January 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Witnessed after seeing it spread upon the glorious internet.
manly_lumberjack ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:16:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No later than I am!
CallofTraviss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Late as well, what are we talking about?
manly_lumberjack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The birth of a new meta joke.
Lord_Norjam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't comment yesterday when I first saw this, so even later!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:44 on November 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You foolish mortals think that you are late? I'm here from a distant universe in which that has been a meme for eons.
CallMeJakeyBoy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:30:49 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We were here, boys.
finc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:41:47 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:29:48 on August 14, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah.
Reignbringer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:16:40 on August 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am definitely too late for the witnessing...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:55 on August 18, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
n00b me thought I was witnessing a copypasta because I've been seeing it everywhere. So this is it? The real thing? The original?
bobthejeffmonkey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:00 on August 19, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not by comparison
lespaul166 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:04:00 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WITNESS MEME!
Bijlenman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:49:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me too!
The4aK3AzN ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:20:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was here
manly_lumberjack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:15:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ME too, I was here! me me!
Do_not_dare_give_up ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:39:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This meme will meme into memehalla, memey and meme.
lespaul166 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:04:02 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WITNESS MEME!
Tojin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:30 on August 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FUCK I'M LATE
pant pant Witnessed!
Manda_643 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:17 on December 31, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you're late I'm really late, still witnessed!
Official_JKDesigns ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:52:51 on September 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Witnessing the witness
DesertFart ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 03:20:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But will the attention span of redditors be long enough for them to read the whole comment everytime? Find out next time on
RedditDragonball ZCobbleking32486 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:13:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that reminds me of pol-[REDACTED]
SerNapalm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:18 on September 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Too long, too much yelling, no krillin pwned count Team four star all day
BlutundEhre ยท 82 points ยท Posted at 04:28:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was here for history in the making.
rainb0wsquid ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 07:15:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was here too.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 11:27:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LD reporting for birthing.
taciturnGentry ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:46:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm hopping on this meme train to report that I was here too.
abigscaryhobo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Choo choo mothafucka lets do this!
shardikprime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sigh. We are getting off track again. Gentlemen, the meme.
Dr_Doctor_Doc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:27:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor here to ensure a safe delivery.
This baby meme looks strong. Look at the legs on it!
A healthy heartbeat, and no one can resist the cute copypasta in its infancy...
fork-and-spoon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:48:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
1 day late, but still here all the same.
Psyman2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:50:09 on August 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where were you, when the board got memed?
I was kill and dieded.
Why weren't you there in time?
SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A LIVING PERSON AND YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP
rainb0wsquid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:29 on August 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
heh
ArbitraryPotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:35 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a little late.
rainb0wsquid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:01 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
a little
Stacia_Asuna ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 07:07:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Zapdos silhouette outclasses or...?
I saw a short resurgence of the Shartmandet so that.
DJCapcomboy ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:41:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Inb4 not that many people I was late but I'm still here
jimbotherisenclown ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:25:08 on November 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm three months late? Eh, close enough. I was here(ish), for the history!
Hyper_Pichu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was here, don't let anybody tell you otherwise...
Deoxys2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Should I feel happy that a new meme has been born?
vonflare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:59 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
me tooooooooo
MystyrNile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was referred here by a link, but it's only been a week, can i join
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yo, guys, sort of here.
DT_Exsifor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:40 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We all are.
pokelord13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I will also make my mark here as well
blarpbarp ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 09:03:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We have to develop it. Nurture it. Copypaste it everywhere. Let it take over the internet.
ImKnotU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:50 on January 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THE "INTERNET"?!?! SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A COMPUTER PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP
Kheiner ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 05:54:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is Reddit. It will pop up often.
kevpool ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 09:30:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I keep popping back to check how far this has gone.
TheGrey_Wolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:46 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same here.
Deathlord291 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 04:52:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I WANT TO BE REMEMBERED
elightcap ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:47:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I will remember you. Will you remember me?
NewAtThisPlsBKind ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:55:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Rememebered
ActionScripter9109 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:35:19 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You've done it.
piratius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But no one can remember once they're dead.
mysteriousmouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:35 on October 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If they die, then you would have been dead for weeks.
MajorasTerribleFate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:27 on September 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember you.
FlameSpartan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:00:55 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, here I am. I wasn't here for the birth of the meme, but I found you.
ButchDeLoria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:39 on January 26, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
REMEMBER MEME
myhighschoolnickname ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:32:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's our duty
icemate1007 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:49:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
rattataaaaa
BenLindsay ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:18:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I WAS HERE
-917- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was here too
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:17 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I, too was here.
the_ill_engineer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:45:45 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
samsies
unknownhero96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We did it reddit!
Undecided_Username_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Great memes are ahead.
Cuddlyaxe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Will use this copypasta on your posts just to mess with you
7footbedbug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah "occasionally"
GothWitchOfBrooklyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've already seen it in a few other threads
emc87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Occasionally"
MDKrouzer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You mean overused and rammed into every thread possible?
zangor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
occasionally
This meme better be the new POTUS.
fatalfiire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
RemindMe! 1 year "Fresh memes first birthday"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:20 on August 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TheScottymo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:49 on November 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
3 months have passed, it's still a meme.
PM-ME_YOUR-BUTT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was here!
SovietSocialistRobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I want to be part of this new meme!
shelf_elf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, it's a meme now. I'm seeing in a few places
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And...we have a bite.
igdub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Occasionally"
tornwrists ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's already popping up
r6guy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the heads up. They grow up so fast :'-)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was there!
neccoguy21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:10 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Already popped up. Many knew of origin. Meme official.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:07 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4vzkpd/you_are_paid_1000000_a_year_to_sit_in_an_empty/d62wl1p
TheClassyDuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:30 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Saw it on a TIFU.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:04 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Coming from the future meme is spreading off reddit and into my discords
xland44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You were correct...
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4wum65/what_things_would_be_taught_in_flirting_101/d6a8grt
r6guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've yet to come across it myself, but I've had plenty of people like you link me to threads with it. It's funny every time.
crowsbestfriend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was here, R.I.P. my boy harambe
xlinkedx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:41 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And back again https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4wum65/what_things_would_be_taught_in_flirting_101/d6a8grt
NoNickname90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:53 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone posted the original on Facebook a few days back. I'd say it's been birthed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:22:29 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Forgot to comment. But I'm doing it now. I was here for this meme Reddit!
homedoggieo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:54:21 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ten days later
READITTVVICE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:59 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am from the future. It's dead Joel.
dougiefresh1233 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:39 on August 18, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"occasionally"
MiguelSalaOp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:30 on August 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It has already popped up
tourn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:45 on September 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I come from the future which is now for me but a month ago for you specifically because I wtf'ed this and this thread was given to someone as a reply to this being used in a meme like manner in this post. I am confirming your meme.
TenshiS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:27:58 on September 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One month later: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/52to0o/911_operators_whats_the_dumbest_call_youve_ever/d7nimgo
cfard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:47 on September 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The prophecy has been fulfilled
Sngx94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:26 on September 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/52to0o/911_operators_whats_the_dumbest_call_youve_ever/d7nimgo
They grow up so fast
kkeut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:04 on September 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
prophetic words
gavers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:48 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just did.
TooM3R ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:44 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
U were rite. Gj
Coolmikefromcanada ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:01:07 on October 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm am from the future
AristocratesSR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:13 on October 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
RIP
Rafael09ED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:12 on October 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Found in r/Overwatch
DankFayden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:46:37 on October 29, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is confirmed.
Hybrid172 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:02 on November 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You were right about this.
browsewhilepooping ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:54 on November 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Far more than occasionally indeed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:09 on December 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hi! I'm from 4 months into the future from you but to the person reading this comment, I'm already in the past. We're still doing it in my current version of 'now'
vveave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:04 on December 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And it never did.
malenkylizards ยท 479 points ยท Posted at 04:05:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude: The fresh Reddit meme I started crashed and burned before it even got started.
Guy: Alright, what was your meme?
Dude: "SIR, I am NOT a meme person so I don't know."
Guy: Uh OK well you came up with it, right? What were some of the memorable parts of it?
Dude: "I don't know what that is!"
Guy: okay, well, can you at least tell me the punchline?
Dude: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A MEME PERSON AND YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP"
thegreattriscuit ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 03:00:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The last two lines of this are underrated. Good Job.
Goldreaver ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 14:29:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny because it works at different levels.
spur ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 09:41:24 on January 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually the whole thing is structured like that :D . Notice the quotation marks on Dude's lines?
decomprosed ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 23:49:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*memeorable parts
smonkweed ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:20:46 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*YOU ARE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG MYSELF
k_bomb ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 02:37:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Birth? It's already gone meta.
SgtDoughnut ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 02:41:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They grow up so fast.
shardikprime ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:16:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We are getting off track , again. Gentlemen, the meme.
The_Alpacapocalypse ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 02:43:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SIR, I am NOT a fresh Reddit meme person.
Smaug_the_Tremendous ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 02:22:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's glorious to witness the birth of a meme. I hope this one lasts.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 02:45:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes you are. Such a beautiful thing wipes away tear
ArcaneAj ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:32:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Almost certainly, we need to make it happen though.
[deleted] ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 02:40:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I will personally take it upon myself to nurture and protect this newborn meme, and show it off to strangers at every internet party I attend.
EDIT: Look at the baby meme exploring Reddit :')
ArcaneAj ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:46:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good show old chap
Ckef01 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:18:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The fresh smell of dank Reddit memes in the morning tingles my buttocks
dedbeef ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:00:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A very fresh and spicy meme
DrAbra ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:02:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And I was here too, REMEMBER ME IN SONG!
Lupin_AAGL ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:20:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
u/Poem_for_your_sprog, I summon thee
metans ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 04:37:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Rub a dub dub
Hes down at the pub
So I came and tried
And Timmy fucking died
bluesox ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 08:57:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yo, sprog. That was dope, but I think you used your alt account by mistake.
Skazzy3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I want to be remembered too
Eatshitpost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Abra, abracadabra, I wanna reach out and grab ya!
TheDoctorCat1 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:25:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm definitely saving this post to have the format.
EDIT: Yep, it's gone meta.
EternalAssasin ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:32:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't wait for it to be funny twice and beaten to death within a week.
DrPinus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:22:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It... it is glorious, the miracle of life! There it lies, glistening in its amniotic birth fluids! Horrific beauty indeed; the feathered toes, the scaly skin, the thick layer of birthing fat, the dual genitalia! The newborn meme lifts its head, blinking at the bright light. The unsteady legs trembling as it stands, it stands! A step! Slowly, the neck bends, the meme eating its own placenta out of the cumbox, before rising again. The fanged maw opens and it cries for your mother, wishing to suckle her teats. Both its arms are broken, as is custom.
Liek if u cri evrytiem.
Nobodyforever ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:54:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ye
tishmaster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:01:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's...beautiful.
rare_pig ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:07:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Needs to be in gif form please
GengarBaby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:49:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was here. This comment proves I witnessed the birth of a meme.
Ocean_Duck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:05:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
8/1/16 never forget.
Itstwofish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:25:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SIR, I am NOT a witness so I don't know.
FrankenBerryGxM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I really hope so
joeketchup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You ruined it
sasukeFTW64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man: SIR, I am NOT a meme person so I don't know.
Hamton52 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
RemindMe! 2 months
thatJainaGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A MEME PERSON AND YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP
bcklava ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But will it blend?
sunflowerkz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am honored to witness this event
O5-8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm saving this post,
For bragging rights.
Kyanpe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hot off the presses!
LobstersForHands ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like a new star burning to life in the night sky, this new meme will add another twinkle of light to the galaxy that is Reddit.
ColdHardMetal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, it won't be fresh for long.
MechanicalTurkish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kilroy was here
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
1 hot fresh meme comin right up!
mannykidd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I WAS HERE! Few hours late, BUT I WAS HERE!
satanicleaftailgecko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen so many comments like this that seemed sure to be the big new reddit meme, but none of them went anywhere, but I believe this one shall.
wannahakaluigi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:35:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was there!
icanseeinfinity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like the Jews watching Moses descend from the mountain top with the commandments of God.
milom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, I am not a computer person, I don't know what that is
SpyJuz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:27:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was a beautiful experience
Kirook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The memeracle of life!
DT_Exsifor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
New meme alert
iBeReese ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Commenting to preserve my place in the annuls of history
Manlad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:25:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is wonderful, this meme is so.... Zesty
Manlad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:25:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is wonderful, this meme is so.... Zesty and fresh
Not_Porn_Trust_Me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:33:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If we are, I'm leaving this to say I was here!
Thrownawayactually ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:40:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think we're here for history.
Incruentus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Birth and death. I think Rune killed it.
Prototype_es ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also yes
lobotumi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:16:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah i think so. Look at it. So pristine, fresh and untainted. A meme fresh like a mountain wind.
txarum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
don't get your hopes up. many memes still die very early in childhood.
Ashkela ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:07:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
MY FIRST BIRTH WITNESS.... 7 hours later.
HenrikWL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:20:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In that case, I'll leave this here so I can prove that I was there when it happened! Well, 8 hours after the fact, but that's like no time at all on the intarwebzโฆ
SirHoneyDip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:51:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Commenting for proof that I was here when the meme was born.
mrfatso111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Alright , history in the making
Isotopian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SIR, I am NOT a meme person so I don't know.
Mylaur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is fucking hilarious, I want more of this.
Efrajm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fresh? I dunno, seems a bit dank already.
monkey_dg1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Now help it spread. LET IT BE BORN.
ThatCoolBritishGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Memes find a way
Cleetus_Targaryen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's usually a pretty distinct smell
Simalacrum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fresh out of the oven and already dank.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah this one won't last
newsorpigal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are our prodigy, our newest kinsman, our wing of memeness...
mootpoint23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Commenting so I can check tomorrow
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My 1st one :3
Jamesmateer100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
............ sniff..............It's beautiful
yomomma56 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hi mom
IDespiseTheLetterG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just want to be here for the ride.
flyerfanatic93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol I hope so
RuboPosto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Be a witness!!! (Spraying silver paint all over the mouth).
dirtyhappythoughts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:48:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And we shall call him... Jimmy.
EpicScizor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently, since it's now been used several other places. How long will it last, though?
drs43821 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It wasn't, but now you mentioned it...well shit just blows up
thought_person ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:55 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fresh and dank mememasters are the best mang
ursucker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:33 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Commenting to witness!
axtumn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:11 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man: The fresh Reddit meme I am trying to ride off the success of came out all reported and downvoted.
Dat Boi: Alright, what did you try to ride off?
Man: SIR, I am NOT a fresh Reddit meme person so I don't know.
Dat Boi: Uh OK well you're riding the success from a Reddit post so what keywords does it have?
Man: I don't know what that is!
Dat Boi: Well how did you find the fresh Reddit meme? What type of meme are you trying to paste?
Man: SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A FRESH REDDIT RIDING PERSON AND YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP
Lupin_AAGL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:12 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
o shit
deeschannayell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:50 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The references are still pretty fresh. Let's see how long this lasts!
COTATO611 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:28 on August 14, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WITNESS ME
brainburger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:15 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Darn it. I'm late again.
walstibs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:20 on August 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Prophecy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:08 on August 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We are!
StaticUser123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:17 on August 30, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/TalesFromRetail/comments/4zxknr/you_should_know_which_clock_is_mine/d6zvo9l
Lupin_AAGL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:26 on August 30, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They grow up so fast
NotShirleyTemple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:40 on September 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/50hu8m/cops_of_reddit_a_lot_of_people_get_jumpy_and_try/d74z2ru?context=3
Here ya go! It's a meme.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:54:07 on September 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A month has passed. This is a fantastic meme
nileo2005 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:39:47 on September 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, yes you did.
volcano99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:13:21 on October 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It died.
Agent_Potato56 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:39 on October 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man: I am not witnessing the meme how I am supposed to.
Memer: Alright, what meme?
Man: SIR, I am NOT a meme witnessing person so I don't know.
Memer: Uh OK well you witnessed the meme from the internet so what keywords does it have?
Man: I don't know what that is!
Memer: Well how did you find the meme? What type of meme are trying to witness?
Man: SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A MEME WITNESSING PERSON AND YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP
thebad_comedian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:38 on October 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Congrats, it's a meme
appa311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:04 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I totally witnessed it guys
Lupin_AAGL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:49 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is dead. Let it die.
appa311 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:21:34 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Never
[deleted] ยท 161 points ยท Posted at 10:23:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let's all imagine this on a sex hotline.
Woman: Alright, what do you want to talk about, aren't you horny?
Man: MA'AM, I am NOT a sexy person so I don't know.
Woman: Uh OK well you paid with your card already so what's on that naughty mind?
Man: I don't know what that is!
Woman: Well what would you want to do to me? What type of dirty, nasty things do you like?
Man: MA'AM, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A NAUGHTY PERSON AND YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP
TwoManyHorn2 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 11:48:44 on September 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've had friends who did that work and may I just say, that's actually not an uncommon experience. Some guys apparently are way too shy about what they want...
CristianoRealnaldo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:19:10 on October 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like it would be moss from the it crowd, but very calmly
Erlox ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 03:04:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
From creation to replication to meta in 3 posts. Truly this is the golden ages of dank memes
Shepard_Chan ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 06:12:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Came out all reported and downvoted" I almost just burst out laughing in a bus.
zimmah ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 10:45:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
NO THIS IS PATRICK!
HeWhoKnox ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 03:54:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was here when this started, just marking my place in the birth of this.
PsychoAgent ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:28:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit! I just realized copypasta comes from copy paste.
CCPearson ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 08:17:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"SIR, I am NOT a Reddit person so I don't know."
yeahdefinitelynot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:36:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same! I never realised the pasta part was relevant until now
justhewayouare ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:31:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also, they have to say meme as pronounced "may-may" LOL
areyoupaidinfull ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:54:12 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whoah, I've heard "mee-mee" but never "may-may". Now that's a strange one. Does this happen?
awfulworldkid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:07:52 on October 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure that it comes from pronouncing the e as if it were accented.
justhewayouare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:50 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, it does indeed. My friend works with a Mexican woman and she says it like that. According to her so do some of her Spanish speaking friends. I'm not sure if that's totally relevant but yeah just saying.
Unreal_Banana ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:27:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love it
ChiBaller ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:47:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just witnessed history.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:23:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/u/Alphadog3300n disconnected
dirgeofthedawn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:28:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
History!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
remindMe! in 1 day
Patagonica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's beginning! The synthesizing of a new meme has begun!
Pour_me_some_wine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just gonna comment on this so in 5 years from now when this is one of the longest running memes I can tell my friends and family I was there.
SleightBulb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When this shit is everywhere, let it be known that I was here for its birth.
WaitinForSatan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was here when this meme was created
popcornade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:25:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Make copypastas great again!
SosX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A pasta is not truly pasta until it's meta, well done
RuneLFox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:32:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yay
spazmatazffs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:25:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
4th iteration already gone full meta
reddit-n-forgetit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love copypasta. I always enjoy seconds the most.
blfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was here. At the birth of a Meme
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:43:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Witness Me, Witness This!!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Witnessed!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Girl: The school won't let me join the sports team.
Counsellor: Alright, what are you trying to play?
Girl: SIR, I am NOT a sports person so I don't know.
Counsellor: Uh ok when you did tryouts what field were you on? Did it have a goalpo-
Girl: SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A SPORTS PERSON AND YOU ARE REFUSING TO HELP SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP
dorekk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:59 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
AMAZING.
GIGATeun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:08 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was there.
Basileus_nz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:32 on August 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Meme'd
hookdump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:22 on September 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm crying, lmao.
somjelly1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:01 on September 30, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I witnessed
Jamesmateer100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man: help me I can't breathe
911 operator: ok have you tried opening a window and getting some air?
Man: Ma'mn I am not an air person so I don't know.
Operator: is the window open, can you feel anything brushing against your body?
Man: I don't know what you are talking about!!!!!!
Operator: ok so have you tried sticking your hand against the window?
Man: Ma'mn I already told you that I am NOT an air person and you are refusing to help me so I am going to hang up!!!!!!
YouWillBecomeTheTank ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 01:20:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SIR, I am NOT a pasta person so I don't know
Calvincoolidg ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 03:36:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or subreddit /r/SirIAmNot.
FlameSpartan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:08:07 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Neat. Subbed.
Round_Inquisition ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:09:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
put me in the screencap
[deleted] ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 17:01:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
shardikprime ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:18:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sigh. We are getting off track again. Gentlemen, the meme.
FygarDL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:58:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
RemindMe! Two days
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:00:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What have you done?
Ocean_Duck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:03:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I look forward to seeing this one beaten to the ground over the next few months
Saeta44 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:01:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A legend is born.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:17:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I made a subreddit for it /r/iamnotaperson I'm looking for mods.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OOH ME
scotscott ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:02:12 on August 19, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn this was a prescient comment.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:03:14 on August 19, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
we'll be telling our children about the time we witnessed the birth of a meme.
[deleted] ยท 600 points ยท Posted at 08:56:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man: Hello, police? I would like to report a crime.
Police: Alright, what's going on?
Man: SIR, I am NOT a police guy so I don't know
Police: Uh OK well can you describe the activity you're witnessing that is taking place?
Man: I don't know what that is!
Police: Is it a serious crime like a murder or a theft?
Man: SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A POLICE GUY AND YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP
israel210 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 16:36:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best one.
orokro ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:31:19 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This one had me rolling
bluesox ยท 456 points ยท Posted at 09:12:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man: "I'd like a beer."
Me: "Okay, which beer do you usually prefer?"
Man: SIR, I am NOT a beer person so I don't know."
Me: "Do you like domestics or craft beers? Maybe a favorite brand?"
Man: "I don't know what that is!"
Me: "Okay, when you drink beer, do you like your beer bitter, or smooth, or..."
Man: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A BEER PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO THROW UP"
batterycrayon ยท 122 points ยท Posted at 20:07:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
me irl :(
PoopyParade ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 03:55:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never learned alcohol at high school parties and my parents don't drink so I literally have no idea what I'm doing ordering drinks haha :')
batterycrayon ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 09:13:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you go with friends, ask them to order you one of what they're having, or their favorite, or something like that. More experienced drinkers can introduce you to things you'll like better. I /did/ drink way too much in high school, but that's how I learned what I like. You can also just look up some simple cocktails online and start making them at home.
PoopyParade ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 23:34:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No friends haha :)
Mutant_Llama1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:38 on November 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad drinks, but most of what I know is from Jimmy Buffet songs.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:41:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
batterycrayon ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 09:11:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've gone from "I'd like a beer, literally any beer" to just ordering cider or cocktails. I think I just don't really like beer. :/ This is good advice though.
mrz_ ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 12:58:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No one likes beer. It is a peer pressure thing where everybody is just predending to like it.
https://xkcd.com/1534/
batterycrayon ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:09:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, I've seen that. I do know people who really like it, though. My husband even went from disliking beer, to liking it after we moved to a different country where the beer apparently tastes different. It's not for me, though.
DannoHung ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:38:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of cocktails do you like? Because many ciders are high in sugar content. Maybe you'd like a sweet, low IBU beer.
batterycrayon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:11:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What is IBU beer? Maybe I'll try it in the future. I know the sugar isn't great for me but neither is the alcohol, and I don't drink that much so I just consider it an acceptable indulgence. I like a lot of different things, but my two go-tos tend to be mojitos and old fashioneds.
DannoHung ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:51:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
IBU is "international bitterness units". It's roughly correlated with how many hops are in the beer (though that's a serious simplification). Hops are what give beer the kind of piney/soapy taste. For a lot of newer beer drinkers, it can be offputting, but it can also grow on you over time (the hoppy flavor, not necessarily the bitterness).
The thing is that a lot of beers that are popular now get advertised as being very hoppy, but many of those don't even bother trying to balance the bitterness.
Both mojitos and old fashioneds are on the sweet side of cocktails.
Styles of beer you might like would include hefeweizens, bocks or dopplebocks, and some belgian style ales (though be aware that some of these can have some funky flavor notes). Of the hefeweizens, since you like cider, you may want to try lambics, which are beers brewed with fruit and can include quite significant fruit flavors. Sour beers in general might also be something you would enjoy, though that's getting into an area where many modern craft breweries haven't gone quite as far.
Also, if you want to try something a little less sweet, but still not too bitter, you might want to look into saisons (or farmhouse beers). Those are typically lower abv styles so they can be nice to have with lunch sometimes.
If you try some of these and it's still not doing it for you, then yep, you're just not a beer person. That's fine too. But given how wide the expression of beer is, if you've only ever tried a few of the more popular brands, you might be missing out.
batterycrayon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the detailed recommendations! I'm saving this post so I can look at it again later. That was really nice of you.
Vall3y ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 10:35:23 on August 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Frankly at this point I just say, here try this one
Loud_Snort ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:53:26 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a bartender this is a conversation I have to have on a regular basis.
bluesox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:33 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I usually either stare at them until they specify, or respond with, "We have plenty of those. You got a preference?"
alicethedeadone ยท 113 points ยท Posted at 02:23:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who's a good cook, this sounds just like my dad.
"Buy me some chili oil while you're at the store".
"What's that?"
"Oil with chilies infused in it."
"I'm not a cook like you! I don't know what that is!"
Buzzardry ยท 210 points ยท Posted at 17:04:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta chime in for law, because it's surprisingly accurate for a lot of client intakes.
Man: I want to sue because I got a paper that says I'm getting kicked out of my apartment!
Lawyer: Alright, can you tell me a little about the situation?
Man: SIR, I am NOT a lawyer and I don't know.
Lawyer: Uh OK well do you know what the problem is. Can you tell me what happened? Did you have a lease? What paper did you receive?
Man: I don't know what papers I received! I just know that my family is going to be homeless! Are you going to help me or not?
Lawyer: Well sir, I can't help you if I don't know what happened. Can you start from the beginning?
Man: SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. ARE YOU SAYING I DON'T HAVE A CASE!? I KNEW YOU LAWYERS NEVER WANT TO HELP PEOPLE, YOU JUST WANT MONEY. I'M GOING TO CALL SOMEONE ELSE.
PoopyParade ยท 116 points ยท Posted at 04:12:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Person: I have an appointment and I can't find your office! I'm next to a taco cart. Do I turn left?
Me: I'm not certain where that is. Can you tell me what street you are on? Do you have our street address?
Person: I am NOT good at directions and I don't know! Oh I'm on Ina Rd.
Me: Ok where on Ina? Are you headed north or south?
Person: I don't know what that is! Just tell me if I turn right or left!
Me: I have to know what direction you're headed. Did you turn onto Ina from the interstate? We are across the street from the hospital.
Person: SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU I AM NOT A DIRECTION PERSON. YOU OBVIOUSLY CANT HELP ME SO I'LL FIGURE IT OUT MYSELF!
I love these types of phone calls at work -_- Sorry I can't read your mind! I also love when they keep cutting me off to complain about how they'll never find the office, while I'm trying to explain how to get to the office.
Heroicis ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 15:51:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my ville there's a busy intersection with two separate Waffle Houses literally in opposite corners of the intersection, the other day I went to the southern WH and heard an employee on the phone desperately trying to explain to a customer which WH she needs to go to to pick up her food, 'twas funny
mozfustril ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:43:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where do you live that WH is so popular there are two at the same intersection???
Heroicis ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:39:11 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fayettenam, NC, directly south of Ft Bragg, so I guess it makes sense when you consider all the hungry soldiers on their lunch break
burgembira ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:59:50 on October 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You had me at 'twas.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:59:53 on September 30, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, Ina! Tucson!
PoopyParade ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:44 on September 30, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha hey neighbor! I guess I should be fair, the streets on this side of town are completely made up and confusing haha
Lorenzo_Matterhorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:06 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People who say "I'M NOT A DIRECTION PERSON", are the people who need to be purged first.
goodevilgenius ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:08:52 on August 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, that's my wife you're talking about!
ShareDVI ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:10:40 on August 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be very anxious finding my best to anything in the city, but I changed my attitude, and it went away. Playing Ingress and Pokemon Go helped a lot.
Werro_123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:42 on September 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got a call from someone trying to find the repair shop I worked in once. They had no clue where they were, so I asked them what business they saw around them, hoping I would recognize one of them and figure out where they were. I did. It was the coffee shop next door to us. They were in our parking lot.
PoopyParade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:56 on September 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I mean sometimes it helps. I do know a lot of the area around our offices. I've even learned exactly where a few other doctors are nearby because their patients sometimes walk into our office asking for help. Lots of the patients are older so I get it, but if you're just listing off random side streets and neighborhood signs that's not going to help...
Werro_123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:26:28 on September 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, considering the person was already in our parking lot and still calling to find us, I dont think it would have been very helpful if they weren't outside already.
PoopyParade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:06 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No I'm talking about people who call from their cars while driving and are so worked up they don't listen to you trying to help them
Werro_123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:26 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know, that just reminded me of my story. I don't think we're entirely on the same page here.
PoopyParade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:25:07 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol I don't know. I feel like we share the same pain. Want to hear an even better story? This happened on Monday.
Patient comes in for his appointment at 1:00pm. As he checks in he tells us that he tried to call between 12 and 1 but couldn't get through. We tell him the phones are muted in that time. Then he says that's "a real problem" for people who work because usually their lunch break is the only chance they have to call places. We tell him the phones are muted because that's when we take lunch too. This man literally tells us "Well you need to change that" (we can't change it, we have to take a lunch) and then tells us we ought to go to lunch between 2pm and 3pm instead. He was loud and making a scene.
My coworker: "I'll suggest that to the practice manager and let her know you're unhappy. She's at lunch right now."
Totally off topic haha but I wanted to share with someone. It was one of those things where it was just so bizarre and pointless that we weren't even mad that some guy yelled at us, we were just like "????"
expectgrowth ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 01:13:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Chime in for Attorneys, because they have trouble with details.
Attorney: Your financing plan didn't approve my client for a $5,000 retainer fee.
Me: All right, I'll look into it. Can you tell me the clients name?
Attorney: Sir, I am not a finance guy. I don't know how to find that information!
Me: Alright. If you can give me their name, I can see if they filled out the application online, and look into it.
Attorney: I do not know how they applied. They just told me they got turned down.
Me: Well I am looking at your applications, and no one has applied in the last 8 days.
Attorney: Well sir, if you can't tell me why they got turned down, I want to cancel.
(They applied with their local bank and got turned down. We approved them after a 2-minute online application.)
Buzzardry ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:07:32 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Just a question, and sincerely this is not an attack on you, but are you affiliated with the legal profession or legal loans? Because your entire type up sounds really strange to me.
First and foremost, in my knowledge it is not commonplace for reputable establishments to extend a loan based on a potential recovery in a lawsuit. The only companies I'm aware of that do that (at least in my state) are the scummy legal financing companies that are hardly a step above loan sharks. They usually charge exorbitant interest rates, and most attorneys (again, at least in my state) strongly advise against any client using them.
Second, I have had a few clients who have absolutely insisted on taking out loans from such a company against my better advice. Most times, the loans are more in the 2-3k range and it's like pulling teeth to get them higher. Reason being is that the companies know there's a chance the applicant is overselling their case and there is a decent chance they won't make nearly as much money as they represent, or even any money at all. In order to apply, the attorney (i.e. me) usually has to call in, give a brief description of the case, and essentially sell the value to even get up to the 2-3k range.
Third, normally these companies do not extend the loans to the clients for them to pay legal fees. Usually clients are attempting to take out these loans on personal injury or other contingency fee cases. If anything, the money serves as a cash advance to the client to pay medical expenses and other bills while the case is pending if the client is truly in a bind.
I'm sure there are exceptions to the general situations I've seen. Maybe it could be different with large structured settlement companies or high level mass tort claims (like asbestosis or mesothelioma cases), but your scenario seems like a "greedy lawyer" stereotype.
I will admit, however, that we work very hard to address the tiny details for our clients and somtimes, despite our best efforts, small details can fall through the cracks. It happens when you're managing anywhere from 50-100 peoples' cases at a time.
expectgrowth ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:57:36 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I completely understand. We only fund criminal defense cases, up to $20,000, instantly online. We do not offer case funding. We offer loans to the clients, to cover retainer costs. We fund the attorneys directly, so they are paid in full, upfront. Clients make payments over time, up to 5 years. Our banks offer TIL's and we are regulated by the same usury laws as credit cards. Attorneys and clients love us. Thanks for the deeper dive. Happy to help clarify!
P.S. - $4,000 case fee. $0 down. 6 months 0% interest. Payments of $122 per month. First payment due in 30 days. Billed monthly.
Buzzardry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:02:04 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That makes more sense. I do mostly civil plaintiff's work and haven't ever run into a situation where a client was taking a loan to pay a retainer. I could see that working out well for a criminal defense client. We have an associate who does criminal defense, however, so your company intruiges me. What's the name and are you active in SC?
expectgrowth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:07:14 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can find us at iQualifyLending(dot)com - Yes, we can handle cases in 47 states including SC.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:43:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Buzzardry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:07 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Happens all the time.
Have you ever noticed that the people who are quick to call a lawyer are usually the ones that have no problem at all, whereas the ones who resist calling usually end up calling too late for you to help? It's been frustrating me lately. Someone will call with an employment issue or a drug charge or something, but it will be 4 months after the fact. Most times they've already done something irreversable and mucked up their situation. Sucks because a lot of the time the ones that are nice and don't want to rush to suing are the ones you can't help.
Habisky-SS13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:46 on January 25, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think this one is assuming you can even get them to start probing for information. Most lawyer's I've worked with can't even bother with the paperwork involve in a car accident.
XrxShadowxX ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:27:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bare witness
Dranthe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:17:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sir, please keep your clothes on while on the witness stand.
SoManyMinutes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:03:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is fantastic and will live on.
willreignsomnipotent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:17 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Video Relevant:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dg0WGp5-7cQ
O5-8 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 04:57:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man: The human I am trying to fuck got all angry,
Sexoligest: Alright, What kind of hooker are you using?
Man: SIR, I am NOT a person so I don't know.
Sexoligest: Uh OK well you bought the women from the street so what was she like?
Man: I don't know what that is!
Sexoligest: Well how did you find her? What type of position are you trying?
Man: SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A PERSON AND YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP!!!!
spookipooki ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 05:17:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't work
ImaginedDialogue ยท 260 points ยท Posted at 02:30:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Man: I'm not able to end my phone calls.
Tech Support: Alright, are you using a land line, or a mobile device?
Man: SIR, I am NOT a good with phones so I don't know
Tech Support: Uh OK well, can you tell me if there's a wire coming from your phone?
Man: I don't know what that is! I need your help, I can't end phone calls!
Tech Support: Well are you able to make phone calls?
Man: SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT GOOD WITH PHONES AND YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP
Tech Support: Wait, I...
Man: (Muffled noises, a loud *thunk*, then silence)
See more of my wild imaginings at /r/ImaginedDialogue
[deleted] ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 02:48:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SurprisedPotato ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 04:04:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother-in-law always claims she can't figure out technology, and won't even try.
My father-in-law was keen to learn, and would ask me to show him step by step how to, for example, email a photo, or post it to facebook. He'd write the steps down carefully, then follow them with me talking him through them, then again with me saying nothing. Then the same the next day, and eventually, he'd be able to do it by himself.
Then, one day, we were trying to contact my technophobe MIL, but we couldn't get through to her at all. We were getting quite anxious. When we finally did meet up, we taught her how to receive and make calls on her (new for her) smartphone. I only had to explain it once, then watch her once, and she got it.
So my MIL, who normally won't touch tech, learnt quicker than my FIL, when she was sufficiently motivated.
Henkersjunge ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:21:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hit the End-button. Hit it again 3 times for good measure. Hit it again just to be sure.
I_am_aVz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
and then hit it again...
Waryur ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:08:17 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man: "I can't make a search"
Me: "Okay, which search engine do you use?"
Man: SIR, I am NOT an Internet person so I don't know."
Me: "Do you use Google, Yahoo, Bing?"
Man: "I don't know what that is!"
Me: "Okay, when you go online, do you see the bar that says search, or the butto..."
Man: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT AN INTERNET PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"
demonmutantninjazomb ยท 879 points ยท Posted at 23:08:44 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
For some unknown reason people can use their brain for stuff like cars but as soon as anything about computers comes up NO ONE FUCKING UNDERSTANDS LIKE IT IS MAGIC! Fucking hell just listen and follow instructions, is it really that hard just because it is a computer?
Edit: Thanks for everyone providing their on views about this. Really interesting reading through them.
HopefulSandpiper ยท 1087 points ยท Posted at 23:58:40 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother needed a new part for her woodburning stove she has in her lovely out-of-state cabin that she can afford. What she apparently couldn't afford was the time or courtesy to the woman on the phone who asked her for the model number. My mom kept telling me what a bitch she was, until I spoke with her, and found the model number on the plate at the side of the stove. When I answered the "bitch" on the phone with the model number, with the number where it said, "model number," things were surprisingly uncomplicated. My mother was even angrier at me after that. What a shithead I was to help out that horrible woman by figuring something out!
Chicken_noodle_sui ยท 191 points ยท Posted at 04:10:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents are getting more and more like this every day. Every time I see my dad he complains about some horrible person working in customer service who couldn't help him with his problem. Even though when he explains what happened it's plain to see they were trying their best to help him but he just wasn't answering their questions because they weren't helping him in the exact way he wanted it to happen. I try to explain to him that people are trying to help and they were probably doing their best but he just doesn't listen. But this is a man who was the youngest by many years in a large family so nothing has ever been his fault and it's always been someone else's job to fix things for him. My sister and I practically had to look after him as well as ourselves when our Mum left when we were kids. Anyway, just wanted to vent. Sorry.
lordreed ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 11:47:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's OK, reddit listens and acknowledges.
HopefulSandpiper ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 15:54:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, vent away, I totally get it. I even feel a little bad reading some of these responses after what I wrote last night, with everyone calling my mom a cunt and the like. She's really not; it's more like how you put it -- a parent getting frustrated because the person trying to help them was not how they envisioned being helped. Was my mom in the wrong for how she behaved? Absolutely, but I think the problem comes from a kind of confused place rather than actually trying to be mean to someone. It's "Why won't you just fix it for me without me having to do anything?" rather than "I'm just here to ruin the day of some poor customer service person."
Best wishes with your dad. It takes a lot of patience some days.
Chicken_noodle_sui ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 01:35:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry people have been saying mean things about your Mom. I'm sure she's not really a bad person. I think just with technology moving so quickly and as people age they get more 'stuck in their ways' that it's hard to adjust. I think it's difficult for older people to change their way of thinking or see things from another point of view than their own. This is not a blanket statement about older people btw, it's just something I've observed with my parents and some other people I've come across while working in customer service. I can understand getting frustrated when you think something should be easily fixed and it turns out that it's not so simple.
HopefulSandpiper ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 02:02:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for writing this. I found myself wishing, after reading the responses here, that more people would be considering this.
What my mom did wasn't cool, but I do think that older people can sometimes get stuck (not all older people, just sometimes!) and that's something maybe we should all consider as we get older ourselves. I feel like the people quick to call my mother rude names are the same people who might think they will "never be like that." None of us knows; I'm certain my mother never thought she'd be any kind of way, or that her child would be posting about her on some online forum for people to openly judge her and call her words she wouldn't even use. It makes me feel ashamed that I even posted it, when I think about what it would be like if I were her. We don't know who we'll be in a year, or five, or twenty, or forty.
Anyway, thanks again for your response. Everybody makes mistakes; while I think politeness is very important and that my mother did do wrong in the scenario I'd previously mentioned, I also think that she's not evil, and plenty of us might seem uncouth ourselves, as we age and enter a world catered to a generation different from ours. I'm sure that when my mother was younger, she was never asked for model numbers, and now she finds that a burden. The way she handles it is impolite, but I also get that for her it is a jarring experience to have the "fixer" ask her to actually do something to help him fix it. In her day, she pulled her car into a garage and told them to "fix it," and they did (not like she even cared what they did!). It was just a different time and a different mentality.
I appreciate you giving me the space to elaborate on what I had originally written. I had my regrets about it, due to some of the responses, so thank you for this -- cheers. :)
blackseed202 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:54:53 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Awh bless you
ThirdFloorGreg ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:49:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know who says shit like that? Cunts.
HopefulSandpiper ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:02:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know. I'm not gonna argue.
Happy_Neko ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:10:36 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Prepare yourself because it just gets worse as they get older. It used to just be technology that was a struggle, now though - some of the things my dad has told me he's said to the clerk at the grocery store or that customer service desk at Home Depot... It's cringe worthy. And he's not a bad guy by any stretch of the imagination - best dad I could have ever hoped for. He's just, for some reason, changed in how he deals with people. I think it might be an older, "I don't really care if they think I'm a jerk, what's right is right!" mentality, but I'm really just guessing.
Sometimes it's hilarious (like the time he called some lady out on jumping in line, in front of a bunch of people) but sometimes it's just... Wow. It's like, he just has no filter at this point. He just says what he thinks. Perfect scenario - every time he goes to the grocery store and the clerk asks him if he found everything okay (something I'm sure they have to ask) he says "No. It was terrible. This store is laid out ridiculous and you don't carry the type of salad dressing I want." Like somehow, this poor cashier is responsible for the layout of the store or what they stock. And then, like Poor Cashier has been trained to do, she goes and gets the manager because a customer isn't "satisfied" and he tells the poor manager all about his troubles, only usually follows it up with "But you don't actually care. I'm not blaming you, but it's nothing to you if I'm unhappy. You still get paid!"
Any other time, he's a sweet, gentle, caring man. Put him in line at Wal-Mart though and suddenly he's a freaking Shadow Demon. I don't get it. Sorry to you for my own long rant, I just needed to tell someone who would understand I think :)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:26:21 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my dad wants me to fix his phone from another state. he won't send me screen shots or anything and repeats himself multiple times. he has sent me to the Apple store and the AT&T store on his behalf, without the phone, not listed on his account, in a different state, with minimal information.
Chode36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:39 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never understood why ppl are so disrespectful to the ppl trying to help them. Then I had to deal with eBay/PayPal on a buyer scamming me and all that went out the window. The only time I tried to grab the csr through the phone and shake sense into them.
KittyCaughtAFinch ยท 686 points ยท Posted at 01:04:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mother sounds like a lovely person.
[deleted] ยท 367 points ยท Posted at 13:51:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SIR I AM NOT A MOTHER PERSON I WOULD NOT KNOW.
Harry101UK ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:43:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And a meme is born.
Zedding ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 05:39:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What are you talking about? She's clearly a cunt.
shardikprime ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:19:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but would you see her next Tuesday?
Lorenzo_Matterhorn ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:09:23 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you understand /s
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 06:25:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
KhonMan ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 06:28:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The person you are replying to is also making a joke
Zedding ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:41:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you.
c3p-bro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:47:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly I don't even think the /s was necessary this time. Come on now.
hugglesthemerciless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whoosh for me then, the /s was necessary for that one =p
sturmhauke ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 06:24:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's this thing called "sarcasm" you might want to look into.
Zedding ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:40:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhh the irony..
95DarkFire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:08:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Painful, isn't it?
Zedding ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:04:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aye.
HopefulSandpiper ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 01:21:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She's ok. I love her and all, she just hasn't had a lot of experience with other economic classes in our country.
[deleted] ยท 236 points ยท Posted at 03:14:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like she's OK to you, but still an awful person if her default is to be mean when she's speaking to someone from "a different class". Let her know a poor from the Internet thinks she's mean.
bcdm ยท 122 points ยท Posted at 08:18:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like the old saying goes, "A person who is nice to you, but is rude to the waiter, is not a nice person."
thesuper88 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 13:02:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard this, but I love it. I worked as a server for a while so anytime I go out to eat with someone I watch to see how the heck treat our server. It can say a lot about people.
cailihphiliac ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:55:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You've been a redditor for over a week, and you've never hear that before?? How is that possible?
thesuper88 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:44:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's probably the same void that repost upvotes come from. It feels like everyone's seen it all until you realize most people haven't.
Hidesuru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:15 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard it before long ago but this is MAYBE the second time I've seen it on reddit. It's not like it's posted all the time...
HelpImOutside ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:05 on November 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've been on reddit for 5 years and I've never seen this
cailihphiliac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:00 on November 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's one of the top answers in every "what's a red flag", "sign of a good/bad date/person" askreddit thread
meddlingbarista ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:58:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, I just had so many flashbacks of going out to eat with my grandfather.
I loved him, but he was not a nice man.
ironic__usernam3 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:42:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a real shame you just made me realise my fiance's Dad is not a nice person. It's so early in the morning.
Chode36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:47 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on their expectations of the service they are paying for.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 06:45:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shouldn't you be out there working for the dole or something instead of wasting time here on Reddit?
No wonder you're so poor /s
bluesox ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 09:00:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude. You don't work for the dole. The dole works for you.
ReadingWhileAtWork ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:56:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, Dole works you. To death.
Random_Sime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But their branding is all over Super Monkey Ball games. They're too cute to be associated with something evil /s
beardface84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:16 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The hours are good but the wage is shite.
95DarkFire ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 11:07:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why am I not surprised?
shaddupsevenup ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:11:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I really enjoy those kinds of people.
noob_almost ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:10:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The real reason you take bitches to nice restaurants is so you can see if they're unkind to servers and if they are you gtfo. Your mum is a bad, bad man.
BusofStruggles ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:54:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Your mum is a bad, bad man." Is one if the most incredible things I've ever read, and it made my day.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 02:23:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
offtheclip ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:51:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I call all my favourite people bitches.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:25:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
BITCH! I LOVE YOU
Chief_Economist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:54:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Awww... bitch...
BusofStruggles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:52:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I said... biiiiiiitch.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 09:41:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wew lad she sounds like a grade a rich cunt
OneGoodRib ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 02:22:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get people like that. Do they not realize customer service people on the phone aren't psychic and can't order you new parts when they know literally nothing about your stove or whatever? I can understand being frustrated and accidentally taking it out on the person on the phone, but getting pissed that they need to know what's not working or what brand you have or whatever? What do they expect to happen?
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 10:11:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PoopyParade ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:18:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had this problem with century link. I found a kiosk in the mall with an actual person and told him we really need a tech sent out but the customer service repa never help. The kiosk guy called for me and actually had to yell at some rep for several minutes until he demanded her supervisor. It was fucking hilarious.
Anyway the tech came out and fixed our problem in 3 minutes and didn't even charge us. What a pain in the ass though. We had shitty Internet for 2 years.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:27:17 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
seriously, I'm willing to pay for it-- why is it so hard to get a tech to come out?
Chode36 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:18:14 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My father was the regional HR manager for our ISP . He couldn't even get a tech out to fix our jitter/packet loss issues for over 4 months and it never got fixed
PoopyParade ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:03:23 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you call again I'd say to try demanding a supervisor and see if how far that gets you. They even arranged to have ours come on Saturday because we work 9-5 Monday through Friday but I think we got lucky on that one.
snowywind ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 12:05:16 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The 'old ways' where a serviceman would roll up to your house to diagnose and fix your HVAC, plumbing, phone, cable or other issue is fading.
Companies are now trying to get the diagnostics done over the phone because rolling out a serviceman is expensive for either the company or the customer, especially if the job needs a specialty tool or part that isn't part of the normal loadout for their truck. An HVAC tech, for example, would need a tractor-trailer loaded for bear to have a replacement for every possible starter capacitor, control circuit, fan, motor, compressor, ignitor, pipe, hose, fitting, thermostat, etc. in use in his service area on hand for every job. Getting a brand, model and a few troubleshooting steps over the phone means he can save a round trip and load his van to deal with his best dozen guesses of what could cause the problem.
Lorenzo_Matterhorn ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:21:34 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It sort makes sense from their end though. I'm sure 90% of their calls are people age 45+ saying "My Internet doesn't work". So their default line has to be "unplug and restart everything".
While it may seem like basic shit to us on reddit, its still a foreign language to a huge percentage of people.
Which is kind of sad considering where technology is headed.
Qvar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:39:03 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Alas, nobody has invented yet a way to comunicate the idea of "I want you to send me someone and I'm willing to pay for it".
HopefulSandpiper ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:03:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't really get it, either, but someone else wrote a response that kind of made sense to me. I'm not in any way trying to defend my mother's behavior, because I really do think it's shitty, but I think the reason she does it is not in order to be mean, it's more of a "why are you not helping me the way I want to be helped" or "just fix it for me, I don't want to have to participate" attitude. Again, totally childish and not okay, but different, I think, than actual malice.
Then only reason I even try to understand it is because I hope I can then teach her how to change her responses in these situations. I'd even rather her get pissed off at me than some person just trying to do their job. It does try my patience, though. Fortunately I have a place on the internet I can rant.
Sorry if this doesn't answer any of your questions. Like I said, I don't get it, either, this is just the closest thing I have to an explanation.
taranasus ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 10:56:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/raisedbynarcissists called. They want their standard issue mother back.
bungiefan_AK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:50 on October 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or /r/aconsupport
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 08:24:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to get this in my old job all the time (car insurance)
'And what is the year of make for the vehicle sir?'
'I don't know'
........
'Well we are going to need it to continue'
'Yeah well I told you I don't know'
'Can you go find the logbook? It's on there'
'WHY ARE YOU HASSLING ME I TOLD YOU I DONT KNOW!'
Sasparillafizz ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:00:30 on November 30, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right, so it's a M2 Sherman tank then. Your insurance premiums start at 100,000 dollars. Those tanks are expensive. Oh, it's not a tank? Well to correct it I'll need you to go look up the model of your vehicle.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:40:37 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just ask to see the registration. It's all there, including the VIN. (Which is useful because states make a surprising number of errors, especially in things like model years. I have no idea why.)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:56:41 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We had already taken reg numbers by then- we weren't allowed to presume the year of make from it because of the registration times of how the UK operates (numbers can sometimes mean it was first registered in the second half of one year or first half of the next).
Xander_-_Crews ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 04:56:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There was definitely a bitch in that conversation.
mrblazed420 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:45:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom sounds like my ex wife
Superplex123 ยท 301 points ยท Posted at 23:35:25 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I TOLD YOU I'M NOT A MAGICIAN!
SoldierHawk ยท 296 points ยท Posted at 23:43:00 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SIR I'M GOING TO BACK AWAY FROM THE INTERNET BOX NOW SINCE YOU'RE BEING SO UNHELPFUL, SIR.
AMuonParticle ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 08:32:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
STEP AWAY FROM THE MEME MACHINE.
snowl1on ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 11:25:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Meme machine" that's what they are from now on.
ArtSchnurple ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:18:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They're long and slick and olive green.
IciPourUnePlaisir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:27 on August 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is meme machines a drug?
snowl1on ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:04:41 on August 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yes.
mybadblood ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:26:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in my retail days I actually had some guy ask for help with his "email box." So there are actually people like that out there...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:52:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SIR I AM NOT A HELPFUL PERSON, AND YOU REFUSE TO HELP ME SO I WILL JUST HANG UP
Heroicis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Angie, computers are magical boxes full of naked women!"
another_programmer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:07:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I literally am the wizard that will now install your software...
IHazMagics ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:15:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am.
TyrantRC ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 00:47:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my mom does this shit when I'm explaining something in the pc, she goes into retard mode and ask for things like: where do I click? (right I after I say click accept), right click or left click? (proceed to click the wrong button), close everything because shes done with the task and open the browser again.
The funny thing is that when she's alone in the pc she knows how to shitpost in facebook perfectly fine. I don't really understand why does this happens but it does, I'm not even mean with her or anything, really strange.
ThirdFloorGreg ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:51:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is no such thing as left-click, just click and right-click.
Donnage ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:56:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That must get confusing for lefties.
Pipthepirate ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:10:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you are unsure and someone is there you ask. If you are alone you stumble along until you figure it out
Lorenzo_Matterhorn ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:24:47 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The best way to learn.
asmodeuskraemer ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:17:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Attention.
ArtSchnurple ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:20:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, reddit thinks everybody does everything for attention.
Harry101UK ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:47:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But we are all here for the attention.
Give me upvotes please guys, I really like the
attentionKarma.BackwardPalindrome ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:24:33 on October 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom posts IN Facebook? And IN the internet? I think you mean on.
TyrantRC ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:12:19 on October 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this is a common mistake of mine, I'm gonna ask you, how do you know when to use which one?. Is there a rule for this or is just intuitive for native speakers?
awfulworldkid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:25:34 on October 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Some of it is just experience, but a lot of the time you use 'in' when the subject is going within or into the object and you use 'on' when the subject is going upon or onto the object. In the context of social media, you normally post on things because you're using that social media outlet to post, but if you post as part of a thread or comment chain you would be posting in the thread, since the post is directly contained within the thread.
EDIT: For the Internet, the rules get a little unclear, and using 'on' seems to mostly be because of popular convention.
BackwardPalindrome ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:20:12 on October 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's one of those very hard to explain things, definitely an intuition thing. You are On the Computer, typing On the keyboard. You make a sandwich IN the kitchen ON the counter. I'm sorry I can't explain it better.
[deleted] ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 23:51:28 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
The_Phantom_Fap ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 01:39:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was the same way in grade school. I barely graduated high school due to my math grades. I couldn't get it and my teachers would rarely take the time to answer questions.
When I tested for community college I was at an 8th grade level. Most of my professors have been amazing. I'm getting into calculus now and I've had an A in every math class. I've been thinking about changing my major to engineering lately.
po43292 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:43:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did terribly in math even into college where I decided to major in engineering. Took 2 fails in calc to realize I was weak in algebra and trig. Took those 2 classes separately and was able to get through calc and through engineering school. It's not paying off, but that's a separate issue. I'm in a different field now.
lennarn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How do you get math confidence?
xelle24 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:30:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Find a good teacher - not necessarily someone who is good a math, but someone who is good at teaching.
crappymathematician ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:49:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
u/xelle24 is right. The trick is to learn something you'd never learned before, and with less effort than what you expected. The best bet is to find a good teacher (what happened to me). Or develop insane amounts of discipline when it comes to delayed gratification (still working on that).
goldenbawbee ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 00:38:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, no they can't. Real world example (I work in the industry):
Person: I'm here/calling to ask about my car!
Employee: No problem, which car is yours?
Person: The white one!
In a lot absolutely full of cars...
EsQuiteMexican ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:00:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Slightly unrelated, but have you noticed how many people get the same car colours? Personally, where I live almost all cars are either white, black, red or silver. Is that, like, an industry standard or something?
goldenbawbee ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 05:09:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, yes. Mostly whites, blacks, greys, silver here. While I don't know any "official" reason, this is what I've come up with:
Colours can cost more.
Colours can have a longer wait time (e.g. there might be a white or grey sitting on the lot ready to go, but maybe yellow you have to order in). A lot of people don't really care that much about the colour - so if you say "Have white and you can take it tomorrow", they often agree.
"Boring" colours are slightly better in terms of resale. Funky yellow is way more polarising than white.
EsQuiteMexican ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:31:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds reasonable.
zimmah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:44:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It does have some disadvantages though:
jakub_h ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:27 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well...usually. ;)
Brawldud ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:00:11 on August 25, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never got this one. How do you not know your own car model?
Do you go to the dealership and get through the entire process of purchasing and registering it while just calling it "that one"?
TheRevEv ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 00:15:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You've obviously never worked at an auto shop. Many people do in fact think that cars run on magic. And some people don't even know what they're driving
po43292 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:45:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe the number of people that think this way. Like at least go on youtube and look at the basics of how engines work.
quantasmm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:01 on November 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Make and model."
"Um.... Yamaha G5."
"sir, that is a golf cart."
the_void__ ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 02:19:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I got into programming. I want to be a wizard when I grow up.
Heyoceama ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:27:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you still a virgin?
the_void__ ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:07:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No. I'm also 36 years old and I still want to be a wizard when I grow up.
aggrocragal ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 06:32:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think people fail to understand that certain people have a embedded understanding of particular things. Because I grew up with computers I can do just about anything on them without issue.
Now ask me to change the oil on a car? I'll have a step by step guide and it seems easy enough. Next thing you know I've got a gasket on backwards and oil leaking everywhere. To the other guy it's just common sense to me it's just wtf did I do.
Bradford_ ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:13:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Despite trying to explain to her multiple times, my mom still doesn't know how to "google" something. I mean, what does she do on the internet if she doesn't know how to use a simple search tool?
asmodeuskraemer ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 03:20:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I tried to teach my mom how to google. It did not work.
I was trying to tell her about keywords you search for. Not like "how do I change the battery in my 1988 chevy celebrity" but like "change battery chevy celebrity" kind of thing and she just could NOT understand it.
I also got a lot of shit from my parents when they'd try to use yahoo messenger (I R an olde now) and if I didn't respond within seconds they said "well you must be busy, I'll talk to you later." Like...I got up to get a glass of water or something. Jesus.
Tjebbe ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:19:38 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
These days you can just type the full sentence though.
crazed3raser ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:38:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And in this day and age, basic knowledge of a computer is almost a necessity. So many jobs use them, and even if they don't, the application is most likely online.
demonmutantninjazomb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
YOU CANT TELL ME WHAT TO DO!
Harry101UK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shut up, Timmy.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:05:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How to be a "Computer Genius"
Read
Read the manual
Learn the help button (Usually F1)
Learn how to google. e.g.: "Error 883 when printing from Fidgemasmo"
Don't be afraid to experiment (Press buttons that make sense)
For extra guru credit. Read a bit about how computers work. Just the basic components and how programs work (there are some good childrens books)
jakub_h ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:26:56 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's also Kernighan's D is for Digital. Straight from the expert!
FlappyBoobs ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:15:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've never understood the hate towards people like that. "Computer Literate" people seem to give users a really hard time when they want their hand held throughout a very simple process. I would much rather have the people that don't listen and just want me to come out to insert a USB stick and then click install for them because people like that have allowed me to recently move into my lovely new house...Hell if microsoft hurry up with windows 11 I might just be able to afford to get a pool installed.
If you teach a man to fish, he'll fire your ass the second he works out just how simple your job really is, but sell a man a fish and the lazy fuck will just keep buying the fish from you again and again.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:33:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like seriously. You don't have to know how to build a computer to use the Internet.
AlmightyRuler ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:45:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother once quipped "People think technology runs on fucking magic." Having worked tech support...he's right. You could honestly tell some people that Tinkerbell is in their PC, right next to a gerbil on a wheel, and they'd buy it.
Harry101UK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I opened my PC up after 2 years of heavy use and it did blow fairy dust everywhere.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:22:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an electrical engineering student, when learning about CPU architecture and transistor physics, I seriously do feel like they've got to be just a little magic. How were our pathetic ape brains able to construct complex structures at nm scales. I know that's not what you're talking about but it just stuns me every time I touch a computer
rabidhamster ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:09:13 on August 14, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a developer, I sometimes think about what's going on in the computer as I code. "Okay so billions of little gates are clicking one way or another, so that as I type, human letters appear on a grid of pixels, and then they do more switching and those letters turn into operations."
None of that sounds like it should work. At all.
2little2much ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:44:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's basically the reverse of me; I know stuff about computers but none about cars. Well, I know how to drive it and operate features, but under the (literal) hood, might as well be magic working down there.
MeppeKR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:06:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think the mere presence of a computer can make normally logical people lose all sense of logic.
My mom would be mad at me for being unable to fix the computer. There was some window that popped up day in and day out. Day in and day out she told me to come and fix it. Day in and day out she had closed it. Day in and day out she was unable to tell me what it had said. Day in and day out I told her to not close it or at least read the text so she could tell me what it had said.
Eventually my patience was running thin. So when she came to tell me to fix the computer I asked if she had closed the window without reading it again. Predictably she had. Then she was pissed that I couldn't do anything. I suspect that there was some program that had an update, but good luck finding out which one.
Oh, and when making food she was perfectly capable of reading instructions.
Whiskey-Tango-Hotel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't help when these 'IT pros' don't know jack shit either. Had an issue with a modem where it couldn't connect to internet, I don't remember what the guy was saying but for the first time ever I was shouting at an IT personnel for repeating the same thing over and over as if I knew jack shit myself about computers. He reluctantly sent someone to 'check' my problem and lo and behold the issue I had was that for some reason my connection was connected to a different house, so while their pings came out positive on their side, I had no response.
superfuzzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:37:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People learn to drive when they're young. For many people computers came along when they were already old..
Oxideist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Electronics technician here, can confirm, people think electronics is magic.
GvRiva ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
for some reason many people refuse to read the error message, their brains just shut down^
taetimeh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:17:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair while using computers aren't exactly magic, the computers themselves are pretty fucking magic. It took me a couple of years in my CS degree before I had a good handle of how computers work top to bottom. I mean a combustion engine, microwave, radio etc is relatively conceptually simple. Going from NAND to facebook well that takes a while to wrap your head around.
RittMomney2016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:33:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Especially in OP's example. Great your not a computer person, I've figured that out already considering my job is to help people who don't understand this shit but you don't need to know shit about computers to simply read what you see on the monitor.
Raiser19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
As someone who is pretty computer illiterate, for people who've had little no experience with technology the basics can seem a lot more complex than they really are. After you get past thinking of it as being too complicated, problem solving simple issues becomes pretty easy but beyond that it's a lot like try trying to read in a language you've never been taught. It can be done but it's a lot harder without someone who speaks the language teaching you how.
edit: sentence
electrobeam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:56:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What? You're telling me that I should treat people who are payed less than me with any ounce of respect? Blasphemy!
zephyrus17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:57:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's mostly a matter about their attitude to the "new thing"
xelle24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are people like that for cars, too. The lovely mechanics at the garage I take my car to love to tell me stories about their dumbest customers.
1369ic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I so regret not going into the IT business when I had the chance. I retired from the military and because I was a Linux guy who helped people upgrade their machine's hardware and so on, people kept telling me to go into the IT side of things. I kept with my same field, which is mostly writing.
The problem now is, everybody thinks they know my job, but I see IT departments get away with such incredible bullshit because the leadership doesn't understand what they do.
For example, I was in a staff meeting where the IT guy said, over the course of a conversation: I need to upgrade the hardware, I need to upgrade the software, I need to train all my guys on the latest stuff, I need to buy only from certain vendors who offer me the opportunity to pay out the ass for vendor support in case something goes wrong, and oh, by the way, I need to shrink everybody's mailbox size and limit attachments because the system can't handle it, there's data corruption and...it's all the users' fault. When I pointed out that other units have the same hardware and software and more users with fewer problems, he was not amused.
Lizzie7493 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's just like math! Everyone assumes it's only understood by top geeks so they don't even try to make sense of it.
ZacQuicksilver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People grew up with cars. They didn't grow up with computers.
People also avoided cars for a couple generations after they were made, for similar reasons.
Pipthepirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of problems with computers aren't very apparent and it doesn't help that the person is probably frustrated amd upset about the problem
Rejusu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:48:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My older brother is not as bad as most people but despite growing up in a household that was technologically ahead of the curve (my Dad did CS back in the punchcard era of computing) he's about on my Mum's level as far as computers are concerned. Still not what I'd call illiterate but he has that mentality that it's all too complicated for him and so he won't try to fix things and relies on our Dad or his brothers for maintenance. Yet he's completed several years of Dentistry now and worked in surgery (as an ODP) before that. Still baffles me how he can work on the human body but probably couldn't install some RAM.
DUCK_CHEEZE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:59 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol this is so true. My old dad is the worst for this. He refuses to us the word icon because "icons are pictures of Christ".. He refuses to click on anything because click is a sound not an action. He presses instead.
He is also a very intelligent and well informed man who predicts social and political events well before they happen. As an example, when Obamamania was at its height in 2007/8, my dad said
"He's not a bad man, but he has no substance and he won't get anything changed."
Salzberger ยท 175 points ยท Posted at 05:57:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a computer repair joint and we always go to the computers and cars analogy.
We are continually amazed that there are people that have a password, but have no idea what it is (or if they even have one) until they see their login screen. We like to imagine mechanics having the same issue.
"Ok I'll just need your keys."
"What?"
"Your keys, to start the car."
"I don't have any."
"You sure? Because it's asking for keys."
"Nope. Never had any."
"So you just get in, sit down and drive away?"
"Yep."
"Look, here, that's where you normally put your keys in to start it. It won't start without them."
"Oh my keys? Right. Well it's either this set, this set, or this set followed by that set."
"How about you just put them in."
snowywind ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 12:25:28 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Passwords are a royal pain whenever a friend or family member tricks me into IT work.
I'm trying to convince my parents to just write down their passwords in a little black book and hide it in their sock drawer. Yes, I know that is terrible security compared to something like an encrypted password manager but my argument is thus, "Mom, if someone were to break into your house (15 miles from the nearest town and deep in gun owner country, no less) are you really going to be worried about your Roku account?"
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 17:04:26 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:29:54 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God forbid two people use the same Roku account
gjoeyjoe ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:01:54 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The problem arises when it comes to financial accounts stuff.
Knowbody42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:17 on November 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's when you use 2FA.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:44:14 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always tell people to tape their wifi password to the WAP, so they can always find it. After all, anyone with physical access to your WAP doesn't need the password.
TheVirginBorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:02 on November 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And most people stay with the default WAP name and password anyway, and that's usually on a label on the WAP anyway.
ThePegasi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:13:24 on August 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It also allows for more complex passwords. I've gotten my mum to do this, it's worked well for her.
OneRedSent ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:14:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I saw a great cop show on tv once where they had a guy so drunk he literally forgot how to use his car keys. Yet he was planning to drive home.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:17 on October 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cars still have keys?
Lobanium ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 01:52:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I can't see anything."
"Did you turn on the headlights?"
That sounds ridiculous doesn't it? And yet this conversation actually happens when dealing with computers.
"I can't see anything."
"Did you turn on the monitor?"
"I'm not a computer person!"
People very much forget to think when dealing with technology. They just give up and declare it to be magic.
MeppeKR ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 10:14:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the monitor. I learned that lesson when I was a kid. I had left something running and went somewhere with my dad. This was in both the early years of everyone owning a computer and me walking around on the planet. I was wondering if my game would keep collecting points every few minutes even if the monitor went black. My dad informed me that the monitor is just how the computer communicates with me and everything that's making it run is in that box next to it.
Years later I remembered this and was having fun at my former ignorance. I was shocked at finding out that that was a common misconception.
Lobanium ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 14:25:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE thinks the monitor is the computer when they first start computering. It was even more common when monitors were huge CRTs.
My life is technology now, but when my dad bought us our first PC he wanted to show us how heavy it was so he told me to lift it. I lifted the monitor. I had no idea what that extra box was for. I was a Junior in high school. Yes, I'm old (for Reddit anyway).
Tithis ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 18:50:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well it doesn't help that in the early days you had things like the macintosh being all in one and commodore having the guts in the keyboard.
Frodolas ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:35:36 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And even now, if you buy a Samsung or LG Smart TV, it is a computer and a display all in one. It even has a Web browser.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:00:06 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You consider the Macintosh early days? The Mac was part of the start of the modern PC era. Prior to that, PCs were a mismash of different suppliers and OS.
The earliest PCs were modular, including Apple's. In fact, the very first Apple didn't even come with a cabinet: You had to build it yourself. For a good while, output was either to a TV or a dedicated monitor that would usually only work with that computer, but these were usually separate components, rather than integrated in the same cabinet. Some early PCs, including some Apples, did have integrated monitors, but it was unusual.
What's particularly ironic about your comment is that what made the Mac so special at the time it came out is that it was integrated, at a time when most PCs weren't. But modularity trucked along as it had before in other brands, and so focusing on that one, and one model of it, really betrays either a myopic fandom of that one brand (which is common enough), or a general ignorance of PC history (also common enough).
Tithis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:01:00 on September 29, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually dislike apple and I'm perfectly aware there we plenty of micro computers and pc's before that and how they were modular. I was using the Mac and commedore 64 because of their relative popularity.
Also your comment comes off as belittling. If you are actually trying to educate it's best not to do that as it tends to turn people off.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:41 on September 29, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Get over it. The world is filled with people who don't care about your feelings and never will. It's up to you to educate yourself. Extremely few other people will ever care if you learn anything. If you're unable or unwilling to learn something because your feelings are hurt, the only person who's affected by that is you.
The world is not a very nice place, and most people are not that nice. You can work to make both better, and you should, but you can't do it by wishing, and definitely not by complaining. The sooner you learn that, the better you'll be able to get by in life.
Tithis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:08:20 on September 29, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm aware, I was just trying to establish what you were actually interested in doing; educating or stroking your ego. You've demonstrated you are only interested in doing the latter. So stroke away friend, stroke away.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:52:07 on September 29, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No one can make you grow up. Like all life choices, it's yours alone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guts in the keyboard? That sound ridiculous.
false_precision ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:28:55 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Keyboards" were larger back then, big enough to have an integrated box behind the keyboard containing the CPU/memory/graphics/ports.
Look up Apple II or Atari 800 or Commodore 64 or TI-99/4A.
Henkersjunge ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 11:20:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a case where turning off the monitor shut down the computer, because it was hooked up to one of those Master/Slave power strips. The screen was plugged in as master, the computer as slave. I never really found a use for those things.
coop355 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 23:04:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its probably supposed to by plugged in the other way around.
Whishishu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:11:44 on September 20, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dont know man, when i was a kid in the late 90s i remember using some computers like that where u pressed the monitor button and it turned on the PC and vice versa.
Charmander324 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:12:10 on November 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Old Macs did that at one point; they even had a dedicated "power-on" signal on their proprietary display connector that the button would trigger. I wouldn't be surprised if some of the Apple wannabes of the time implemented something similar.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:00:51 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or it was designed by engineers who'd given up trying to explain it.
hypervelocityvomit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:42:06 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's how I started programming in Q-Basic. Fractals and stuff. And they took hours back then. I was less than convinced that I could start the program, enter the coordinates, and run it with the screen turned off.
I even had my own logic. If the screen is on, all output works fine. But if it's off, won't there be an error, like trying to print when the printer is off?
JarlaxleForPresident ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:04:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember hooking up all the vcrs and dvd players as a kid. Looking back on it, my Ma was lazy or didnt even give it a chance.
Some people just like to stop learning. Tried to teach her sudoku a couple of years ago, and she wouldnt even try because "she doesnt like math."
Mom, it really has nothing to do with math. It's more logic based. Once you get the hang of it, you'll love it.
No.
MalParra ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 08:57:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have also found that using car metaphors and comparisons when working with pc's actually helps people understand. Unless you get very technical. But keep it basic. and it works a treat.
Tech: Your CPU is broken
Customer: What?
Tech: It's like you are trying to drive a car with a blown engine.
Customer: Oh
hypervelocityvomit ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 11:44:44 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TL;DR: Does not compute.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:23:34 on August 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
thirdegree ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 00:37:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not even that.
Man: My car is making a weird noise!
Mechanic: Alright, could you describe the noise?
Man: SIR, I am NOT a car person so I don't know
Mechanic: Do you know what kind of car you're using?
Man: I don't know what that is!
Mechanic: Okay, when you look at the car, do you see a blue W, or a silver H, or...
Man: SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A CAR PERSON AND YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP
philbertgodphry ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 10:59:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a mechanic. I have had people call the shop that actually don't know what kind of vehicle they own.
"How much do y'all charge for a brake job?"
"What kind of vehicle is it?"
"I don't know... A car?"
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:26:21 on August 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That would be me, I don't care about cars, I only know the producer, not a model
U238Th234Pa234U234 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 02:26:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once worked on a "Ford Malibu". I know your pain
hypervelocityvomit ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 11:43:53 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I see your Ford Malibu and raise one "Ford Fiasco." ;)
dragon34 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:32:51 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I really can't understand how people don't know what car they have. Presumably you spent a non-trivial amount of money on it. How do you not know? Plus the make and model are usually WRITTEN ON THE CAR SOMEWHERE.
On the other hand I can't tell you how many people I have had tell me that the browser they use is foxfire or gmail, and who can't find the model number of their computer even if I tell them "It's written on the right side of the keyboard" or "on the top of the computer above the CD drive" or something.
adrianmonk ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 08:16:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know a guy who used to work at a General Motors call center. He had some lady call in and make a complaint about a Ford. He told her that is not a General Motors product, so he can't do anything, and her objection was essentially, "But Ford is an American car, isn't it? And GM makes American cars."
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:02:01 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Right you are. And that's why you can complain to McDonald's about your Whopper."
screennameoutoforder ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:27:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just imagine all the calls that you don't get, since they're also not a phone person.
CalmBeneathCastles ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:10:29 on September 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's a blessing.
yours_anonymously ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:18:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Event worse happened with my friend who works as a support to drivers for a truck company.
Driver: Sir, my car is making weird sounds. Support: What sort of sound does it make? Driver: Sir, ggghhhrrrr ggghhhrrrr
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:02:50 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Are you alright, sir? Have you been screened for distemper?"
DeepMidWicket ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:18:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happens an awful lot actually... except the hang up part, thats normally a winge to the boss.
Scarley8 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:53:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Asked a friend what kind of car they recently bought and they honestly replied with "a blue one".
Harry101UK ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:06:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it is pretty blue.
K3lloggs ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:37:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try doing road assistance calls, this all too real
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:47:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Titus_Favonius ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:49:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe the Simpsons did it?
typhyr ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:23:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know so little about cars that I don't know what a sedan is. I know there are trucks, cars, and jeeps, and other.
grease_monkey ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:26:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I also hate being a mechanic. Thank God I'm not a service writer.
animosityiskey ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:51:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I had someone tell me they couldn't describe the sounds their pipe was making because they weren't a plumber. They couldn't tell me if it was a high pitch whine or a gurgling.
Harry101UK ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:07:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had no idea that suns were created in pipes. This changes everything.
animosityiskey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I should proofread better on my phone.
guestbacon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:22:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to the life of your average dealership mechanic. It's crazy to think people spend so much money on something and know nothing about it. Maybe the color and maybe how many doors it has.
forfar4 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:25:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the UK - my friend was a car mechanic. An older 'Retired Colonel' type guy turned up in a Jaguar XJS V12 complaining about a grinding noise coming from the engine.
Friend: Have you had an oil change since the last service? Colonel: My good man, it's an automatic!
Face + Palm = Reaction.
yummyyummypowwidge ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:10:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The best part about this is that someone would call their mechanic about a problem instead of actually bringing their car into the shop.
maracusdesu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:34:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Car references always work when you're talking IT. It's cool to see it being used globally.
Blaze_fox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:37:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
as a car person and a computer person this thread has me very triggered
Tommy2255 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:34:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/Dg0WGp5-7cQ
ilikenicestuff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:04:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad owns a car parts shop, you'd be surprised how many people tell him about a problem and when he asks "what kind of car is it?" they reply "A blue one".
forfar4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:25:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the UK - my friend was a car mechanic. An older 'Retired Colonel' type guy turned up in a Jaguar XJS V12 complaining about a grinding noise coming from the engine.
Friend: Have you had an oil change since the last service? Colonel: My good man, it's an automatic!
Face + Palm = Reaction.
forfar4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:25:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the UK - my friend was a car mechanic. An older 'Retired Colonel' type guy turned up in a Jaguar XJS V12 complaining about a grinding noise coming from the engine.
Friend: Have you had an oil change since the last service? Colonel: My good man, it's an automatic!
Face + Palm = Reaction.
Draav ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:31:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know this makes most people mad but honestly I think I've had conversations like that about cars before. I've used a car to get rides in a for a couple years I had a car to drive to work and home. But aside from how to make it go i knew next to nothing about it. Make model year? I dunno what is make? Like the company? I bought it from a friend I dunno what company made it.
Is it a sedan? I dunno what is a sedan? Oh it's a car with 4 doors? That's cool I always thought it was like a special brand of car like a Ferrari or something. So is like an SUV a sedan too?
4-wheel drive? 2-wheel drive? I get the concept of what that is, but I dunno how I'd check. Maybe it's in the manual somewhere.
Live in nj so I don't even know how to pump gas either.
You get the idea. I always know it's annoying, but I have so many other topics to learn and understand and I don't find cars interesting in the slightest so it was hard to even learn the basics.
Titus_Favonius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not very knowledgeable about cars either but you ought to know at least the make and model of your own, and at least a rough guess of the year. Doesn't make me mad but if there's a problem or you need to fill out some form it helps to be familiar with it.
Draav ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't disagree, but it is possible to happen. I did eventually learn. But it took way longer than it should
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:39:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The car analogy has worked so well for me...
I'm not expecting anyone to be able to diagnose or repair a majority of their mechanical issues, or drive like a professional stuntman. I can even understand neglecting basic maintenance. But the stupidity I've heard from users is the equivalent of wandering into the back seat of the car, sitting facing out the window, holding the key in the air and turning it like you were starting the ignition, and being legitimately unable to determine why your car is not moving.
papereverywhere ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:59:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am completely not a car person, and frequently feel like an idiot when I take my car to the shop. That being said, I still try to give as much information as possible. "My car goes "Grrrkk...chk chk chk when I run the air conditioner, but it doesn't make noise at any other time." My mechanic must be used to it. Because he always asks other relevant questions surrounding different noises and things I may be doing at the time. We work well together...
mini6ulrich66 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've found that the easiest way to relate computers to people is with cars. I often tell them "if your car has a flat, you don't buy a new car". Usually they understand what I mean
Letty_Whiterock ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:50:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know shit about cars, but I at least know what car I fucking have.
luckygiraffe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:10:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad was a mechanic, this actually happens.
Roose_Bolton123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
jh
Titus_Favonius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hj
vhite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:25:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That would totally be me, if I had a car.
YouRTerminated ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:58:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if this serves the model....
Man: I'm facing difficulties in my life
God: Alright, what issues you have?
Man: SIR, I am NOT a God person, so I don't know.
GOD: Uh OK well there should be a moment that made your life difficult
Man: I don't know what that is!
GOD. Well, did you cry?
Man: SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A GOD PERSON AND YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP
nupanick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:01:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. Too many "tech-literate" people take it for granted that everyone knows "the basics", but I know I couldn't tell a sedan from an SUV or whatever you just said.
one_love_silvia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:34 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is pretty much how it is at my work
thebornotaku ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:12:42 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SEE YOU FUCKING JOKE ABOUT THIS SHIT BUT I WORK IN AUTOMOTIVE REPAIR AND THIS IS MY REALITY SOMETIMES
"My car is making a noise"
"Okay, what kind of noise?"
"I don't know, I'm not good with cars."
"Okay but is it like a clicking, or a squeaking, or a thump or what?"
"I'm not good with cars"
...
xxfay6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:46:10 on September 19, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A month or so ago we were meeting up with a relative on a grocer parking lot to go to a bbq, I told my mom to ask her what car it was since they change it around every so often.
I pull up and they ended up being 1 to the side in front of where I parked. It was a white Caravan.
Kezika ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:37:02 on October 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for AAA for a bit, pretty common actually for wives to be like "I dunno, it's my husband's car, I just know it's a car." But usually I could get them to pull out their owner's manual or something and read me off what it said.
My favorite was one where I just couldn't get the person to give me a year make and model (and owner's manual trick wouldn't work because the problem was they were locked out of the car), but at one point they were like "I dunno, probably a Honda or something" so I put Honda in the system and then picked the first result which was like a 95 Civic or something. (System required all three before continuing)
Later on had one of the "Call Managers" which were the people that coordinated with the service providers after dispatch if there were any updates/discrepencies/etcetera message me asking why I put it in as a 95 Honda Civic and I told her that after a few minutes lady couldn't tell me anything more than "probably a Honda or something" and the CM was like "Lol, service driver said it was a Ford F-250."
Which is extra stupid because for lockouts one of the questions we asked during the process was "are the keys locked in the trunk?" which didn't prompt this lady to be like "no it has a bed" or anything.
Like wat?
MrSeanicles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:29:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This would be me
PeriodicGolden ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:42:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly how I am around cars!
fradrig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man: my baby is making a weird noise!
Pediatrician: alright, what gender is it and how old is it?
Man: Sir, I am NOT a baby person so I don't know.
Pediatrician: uh ok, well there should be either a penis or a vagina. If you could describe that maybe we could get further.
Man: I don't know what that is!
Pediatrician: well, what kind of baby is it? Does it wear pink or blue clothes?
Man: SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU I AM NOT A BABY PERSON AND YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME, SO I AM GOING.TO HANG UP
Roushfan5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The thing is, I
betknow people totally do that.Krail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:03 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I've never been into cars, and I actually learned what sedan and coup meant well after I started learning the basic makes and models.
Basically, I had thought sedan and coup were models, but was a bit confused when multiple car companies seemed to make the same model...
NeedHelpWithExcel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work with cars, this definitely happens.
You'd be fucking shocked at how many people don't even know the make of their car
[deleted] ยท 1823 points ยท Posted at 23:29:58 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once hung up on a woman like this. When the complaint came through management I didn't even let them finish, I aggressively told them to pull the recording and listen to it.
I never heard back from it.
littlebetenoire ยท 1386 points ยท Posted at 02:06:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in a call centre and my boss LOVED customers like this. He never once got angry about those kind of calls - unless we were genuinely being a cunt to the customer - because he would wait for them to ring and complain and then make it his personal challenge to have sold them something by the end of the call. Worked every fucking time, like magic.
[deleted] ยท 894 points ยท Posted at 02:20:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your old boss knows the tricks. The dumber the customer the easier to rip 'em off selling them what they don't need. And I guess those type of people deserve it for not even wanting to put their damn brains to work. Your old boss does it like a boss.
littlebetenoire ยท 916 points ยท Posted at 03:06:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He was honestly so cool. And his boss was even cooler. The guy started the company with nothing and worked his way up so he knows what it's like to be at the bottom and has never forgotten it. He treats everyone equally.
One day the guys were having an argument over who could eat the most cheeseburgers and the big boss was sick of hearing them measure dicks so he went out and bought 100 cheeseburgers and piled them on the conference room table and made them have an eat-off.
asmodeuskraemer ยท 259 points ยท Posted at 03:21:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HAHAHA!! I LOVE IT!
Were they the $1 mcdonalds kind? I could put away 15 of them, maybe. MAYBE. Probably more like 8 or 10.
littlebetenoire ยท 218 points ยท Posted at 03:28:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They sure were! He had to go to quite a few different ones because he couldn't buy all 100 from one store. They're like $3 here though haha. Such a waste of money but it was for a good cause.
DrStalker ยท 551 points ยท Posted at 04:29:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Those cheeseburgers were tax deductible as a team building related expense.
FlerPlay ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 06:39:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They also wouldn't go to waste in ANY office I would have been part of.
Gunmetal_61 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:27:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn good that would be.
XAM2175 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 12:16:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're either an accountant or a person who should be an accountant.
DrStalker ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 12:23:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Finance IT. Also I just did my taxes.
Carl_GordonJenkins ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:46:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or as a meal expense...
Thrownawayactually ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:43:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Team building by competing directly.
GreatBabu ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:57:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That plus you'll have the 2 factions, Team Jim and Team Phil, banding together to cheer on their top eater.
Rajani_Isa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:04 on October 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the novel Blades and Barriers by Drew Hayes. When the new kids join the super team, one of them actually gets right the "we eat dinner together every night if possible" rule reasoning right. Because add shop talk and it becomes a deduction.
DrStalker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:26 on October 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How is Blades & Barriers? I enjoyed the first two books of Super Powereds, even though it was a bit of a goofy setting that didn't hold up to analysis. I should probably read the rest,.
Rajani_Isa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:11:13 on October 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, the characters are from the class ahead of the five, so you probably should finish Year 3 before reading it.
I also enjoyed Corpies.
And the "Super villain Apology Letter" up right now is a fun read too.
MelbourneFL321 ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 18:28:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I saw them on sale once for $0.33 each, and slapped a $20 bill down saying we'd take 60.
Next time we went to that location, they had a laminated sign saying limit 10.
littlebetenoire ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:11:11 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god that's my dream. Mc Donald's here is daylight robbery
ChristyElizabeth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:46:49 on October 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do that to bk when the nuggets go ten for a dollar.
FlameSpartan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:12:25 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me and my friend once bought 20 McDoubles and 10 large fries and had an eat-off.
It... didn't end well. We vomited, went right back at it, and vomited again. Fun day, though. We was stoned as fuck.
ChristyElizabeth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:15:26 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
shudders that's tooo much food.... but then again the Amount of nuggets i can consume... yea i shouldnt be speaking.
GalerionTheMystic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:45:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
May I know what happened to the cheeseburger standoff? You can't just leave us hanging like that!
littlebetenoire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:23 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
None of them managed to eat as many as they all thought they could. Can't remember what the end count ended up being.
hadesflames ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:48:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
$3? They're $0.49 here or $0.59 for cheeseburgers on Wednesdays and Sundays...I wouldn't pay a cent over $0.49 for one so $3 is just retarded.
littlebetenoire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:10:53 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's New Zealand for you. They rip you $2.30 for a hash brown too
path411 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:15 on August 25, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it because you use some commie dollar, not the murica one?
MeateaW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:22 on September 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
3 New Zealand Dollar equals 2.18 US Dollar
njj3400 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:59:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah? Well I can do 20 no problem.
Doccmonman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:06:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But... You'd have to open them all and take the gherkins out...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:23:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Any non-50kg woman should be able to down 20-30 minimum. Those things you can eat in a bite.
littlebetenoire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:12:49 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can only do two. Three max. I don't know if they're different sizes here but I've definitely never had more than three in one sitting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:57 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wow really? cheeseburgers are nothing but air. They're only 1/10th of a pound of meat, and nutrionless meat at that; with a couple specks of onion and sauce. You can eat them in one bite if you tried.
littlebetenoire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:53 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, maybe they're bigger here but I've never seen someone put an entire one in their mouth unless they wanted to choke and die. Two bites for sure but never one. Patties here are also made with 100% NZ beef with no additives, preservatives, fillers, or binders.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:37:15 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I refuse to believe that you're from NZ but have never seen someone 1 bite a cheeseburger.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:03 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd rather have white castle ones for that competition
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:35 on August 18, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
IIRC 10 is around a pound of meat. I did that (a pound of meat) once, it was okay. 3/4 pound? No problem if I'm hungry, but I sometimes don't have room for fries and a drink after.
TYL Canadians can be just as hungry as Americans.
ProfessorMetallica ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 04:46:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's a Phantom Pain joke to be made here, I just can't seem to find it.
weird_shithrow_away ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:19:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's because the joke is a phantom.
Son_of_Hideo ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:33:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
More like cut content
Magister_Ingenia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:51 on December 25, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's because Konami never finished it.
-14k- ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:52:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So, who won and at what count? You can't leave a good story like that hanging!
littlebetenoire ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:13:37 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Close tie between telemarketing manager and telemarketing assistant manager. Can't remember the final count but it certainly wasn't 100 each like they reckoned they could.
about3fitty ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:00:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most American story 2016
littlebetenoire ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:08:06 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Except it happened in New Zealand
WhatILack ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:32:13 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This one sentence is the funniest thing I've read in this thread. An assumption gone wrong.
littlebetenoire ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:47:59 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a Reddit/American thing. Everyone on here seems to assume whoever they're replying to is a 20-30yr old, white, male, American, unless otherwise specified haha.
chickeman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:09:21 on November 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually pretty sure the joke is that Americans = burgers
FroggyFroggg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:12:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be tempted to start arguing about who can drink the most beer...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:03:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That boss?
Bill Gates.
BusofStruggles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That job sounds pretty nice as far as jobs go, why did you leave?
littlebetenoire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:09:31 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was telemarketing basically. As much as I enjoyed the people, I couldn't get past working 11am-9pm in a closed off office, trying to convince people to buy a product. Much happier in my job now doing admin/marketing.
BusofStruggles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:56 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, alright. That makes sense. I'm happy that you're happier stranger!
false_precision ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:38:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't the company founder already at the top by default?
littlebetenoire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:19 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean worked his way up in the sense it was just his wife and himself to start with and now he owns a multi-million dollar franchise.
jofo1993 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this is epic
falconfetus8 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 14:46:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right, because ripping people off is so cool.
littlebetenoire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:14:52 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
How were they ripping people off? I never even said what the job was and what we were marketing. It was actually a really good, reasonably priced product that was beneficial to many homes and I stand by it to this day. You don't have to buy something just because a man on the phone has told you to so if they weren't happy with it they could have said no or returned it.
SanshaXII ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:16:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
PROMOTE SYNERGY
Henkersjunge ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 11:25:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats the same idea behind those Nigerian Prince scams. You want people dumb enough to fall for this shit to rip them off.
Crypto-malware on the other hand has no requirement on your intelligence, just on your willingness to pay for your lost data.
Sharks758 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:58:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I consider it a test of wether or not you back up your important files.
DFrostedWangsAccount ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:47 on September 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I consider it a lesson to back up important files, and a funeral for your lost files. RIP.
Even if you do pay, you may not get it decrypted. And there's a chance it'll recurr later because of course it would. Repeat customers, eh?
Although some crypo-malware has been cracked, I seem to recall finding a database on getting around it recently. Could be useful.
Magister_Ingenia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:33 on December 25, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I back up my important files through Dropbox, so i don't really care about that. What would piss me off is having to redownload 1.5TB of games (and potentially a couple TB of movies and anime if they get my external HDD as well).
Nebresto ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:29:09 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hate being late to such great threads, but he sounds more like a leader
CyanPhoenix42 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:05:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's great. Sounds like a fun boss :p
falconfetus8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:46:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's just a little bit slimy. Their problem isn't fixed, they haven't learned how to properly seek help, AND they've wasted money on a new thing they don't know how to use. GG.
littlebetenoire ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:22:26 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Except their problem is fixed because they're no longer angry, they have sought help because they've spoken to the manager, and if they end up deciding to purchase the product that is well worth the money, a technician comes out free of charge and shows them how to use it. So yeah probably best to not make assumptions with limited information on what the business was even about.
nonamesaccepted ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:15:57 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well they were unwilling and combative from the get go, they don't want help. They want to complain and yell. Most customers have no idea what they want and it is up to the salesman to tell them what is best for them.
littlebetenoire ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:21:10 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly this. Some of the people we were ringing just didn't want to hear what you had to say from the very first word just because you had rung them. The customer wants to feel like it was their choice to buy something, not that you'd rung up and tried to sell it to them.
The reason my boss loved these calls is because a lot of the time they were people being irrational as hell about it and once he actually calmed them down and explained to them what we were calling for, 99% of them would see the value in the product and want to buy it for not only their homes, but their beach homes/rentals/elderly parents homes, etc.
It's not slimy at all. It's business. Slimy would be repeatedly hassling them and putting shitty loopholes in the deal that ended up costing them or getting them a sub par product. If the customers weren't happy and didn't want to hear from us, they were put on a do not call list and never had to hear from us ever again.
candybomberz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:36:31 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My internet isn't working and your tech guy isn't helping me.
We can have a tech guy over for 200 bucks installing internet on your computer.
Sold. Thanks for helping !!
virtualpotato ยท 305 points ยท Posted at 04:47:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in the early 90's we used to get calls from men who wouldn't talk to female tech support agents.
Which is of course the dumbest thing ever.
So we'd mess with them. Because fuck 'em, that's why.
So the agent would come to me and tell me the customer wouldn't speak to a woman. And I'd get a big smile and say are they still on the phone? Yes, he wants to talk to a man.
Hang on. I call one of the women on my team and ask if they can take a call. They say I'm busy, unless it's one of THOSE calls. At which point I'd smile and they'd get on. Pissing the guy off more. "But sir, I trained the tech support people..." He'd get angrier and ask for a male agent.
So she'd call the female escalation engineers, and ask if they could take over.
And we'd do that until they got upset enough that they hung up. That was a customer we didn't want. If they came to their senses, we put them back on with the original agent, who almost without fail would fix their problem professionally in under 3 minutes.
[deleted] ยท 143 points ยท Posted at 11:30:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dear... God.
Yep. Everything about them.
MurgleMcGurgle ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 15:13:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly this isn't incredibly rare. I one had a guy refuse to talk to a woman so she transferred him to me. I then had to call her back to get the answer to his question. Some people are assholes.
sberrys ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 19:46:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you told him you had to check with HER to find out. lol
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:36:11 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just watched an episode of shark tank where the guy actually had a pretty good product, but instead of focusing on the female shark who wanted to partner with him (and give him 10x his asking amount!!!), he kept trying to convince the male sharks to reconsider him.
If I were her, I wouldn't have accepted him just from being so demeaning. But... he did have a good product and had it patented :(
sugardeath ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:30:15 on September 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had similar happen when I worked uni IT. We had a lady on our front line and a guy called in and asked to be escalated. He talked to our manager and said he didn't want support from a lady. Manager said "well, I'll transfer you to the technician who is most skilled with the type of problem you're having" and sent him right back to her. She solved his issue right quick.
DoctahZoidberg ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 21:22:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We had the happen at my work one, over in the Auto area. Guy doesnt like the answer an auto associate gave because shes a woman (she knows her shit) and demands to speak with a technician. She says sure, I'll grab the lead technician! The lead technician, another woman, come out, gives the guy the exact same answer, guy demands to speak to a manager. Lead tech says sure, I'll call over my direct manager. She comes over and says what can I help you with? Guy flips out, and just walks out of the store. The associate and tech fill the manager in, and they all share a laugh mixed with anger over sexism.
When the tech relays this story to me I tell her its a shame he didn't ask to speak to the store manager, because she would have been pissed to be called over for such a stupid reason.
odaeyss ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:37:31 on August 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HA! I've been there. I'm a guy, though, so it's a little.. different. Customer doesn't like an answer from my coworker, gets manager out, doesn't like her answer, blah blah temper tantrum, I wander by... hell, the one time all I said was literally "Oh.. yeah, they were correct. We can't do that, sorry about that."
Instead of being yelled at and demands to see a higher level of management, I got my goddamned hand shaken and thanked for my time. Manager was all "WTF just happened" and I was all "Group of 5 Arab dudes with thick accents? They're just misogynists, sweetcheeks, nothin to worry your pretty little head about." The last part may be embellished.
Kinda felt bad about it, but I mean.. it worked. Can't help shitty people, can just help them leave ASAP.
xdq ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 04:01:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We had a customer who were all Hasidic Jews who would either refuse to talk to the ladies in our office or just be plain rude to them.
I would often have to put them on speakerphone with our accounts person (f).
It was like a sitcom where one person wasn't talking to the other.
Customer: my account number is xxxx
Me: he said his account number is xxxx
Accounts: I heard what he said. Ok he's ยฃ50 in arrears.
Me: Sir you're ยฃ50 in arrears
Etc etc.
BusofStruggles ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 07:00:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've never been much of a fan of acidic juice, but this didn't help.
hypervelocityvomit ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 11:49:08 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TL;DR: Juice needed more concentrate. scnr
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:25 on August 18, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Go away S;(
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:22:52 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have no patience for that crap. I'd be like:
"I do not want to speak to any females."
"Okay, have a nice day." [click]
dragon34 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 01:41:32 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a guy who aggressively wanted to talk to the person in charge after speaking with one of my student employees (female) and not being happy with the answer we gave him (which was basically no we can't give you your college student child's password because FERPA)
So he was transferred to me (also female) and I told him exactly the same thing because it's the fucking law. But no, snowflake was too busy to call and reset the password they fucking forgot. He was still insisting on talking to someone in charge (My boss is also female) but I said very firmly, "Look, this is the law, no matter who you talk to the answer will be the same. Legally, we can only talk to your kid about their password, and no one who works here is going to risk their job so your kid doesn't have to take a reset my password break instead of a smoke break at their summer job" He finally got it. I don't know if he was being an ass because I'm a chick or because he just hadn't figured out the umbilical cord should have been cut 18 years ago, but it really felt like he felt like I couldn't be "in charge" because I'm female.
I_Has_A_Hat ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:44:16 on August 18, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just transfer them to a male that has zero idea what he's talking about.
virtualpotato ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:33:34 on August 19, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jerk customer didn't deserve to be coddled. And I didn't hire anybody that was unable to do the job.
muthmaar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:32:43 on August 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
whats the reason for avoiding a female?
virtualpotato ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 02:37:39 on August 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because some men feel that it's impossible for a woman to be competent in their job, or technical enough to support a complex product. Or in rarer cases, they're just mad that women are employed when they should be at home. You hear the barefoot and pregnant remark sometimes, and it's because some people think that's all a woman can do.
In the early 90's, our chauvinist callers generally were just the ones that didn't think they'd talk to a smart woman and that she was basically a secretary. I had math majors, computer science majors and engineers that were on the phones back then. Not a lot of tech jobs in the area, and tech support used to be the way in.
muthmaar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:24:05 on August 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
barefoot and pregnant?
virtualpotato ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:06:58 on August 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's a whole lot of people who honestly think that women shouldn't leave the house other than to shop. That they're best suited for being at home raising children and not having any say in it.
muthmaar ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:55:57 on August 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh dear
Rajani_Isa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:53:55 on October 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aww, you missed the chance to reference another Reddit post.
m2cwf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:08 on January 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because these people have a whole list of jobs that a woman could not possibly be competent in, ever:
[deleted] ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 04:04:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
p1-o2 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:09:48 on August 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL that got me. Thank you.
PM_ME_CHUBBY_GALS ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 10:02:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a complaint I got in one of my sales/customer service jobs.
Management: There's a complaint about you.
Me: No way, people love me.
Management: She said you were condescending.
Me: Well...that does sound like me. I think I remember this woman. To be fair, if she didn't want me to sound condescending, she shouldn't have been so stupid.
Management: LOL
cowbutt6 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:30:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Our contact at a banking customer of a former employer of mine made a colleague of mine cry with his misogynistic bullying. Consequently, that customer's support contract was suspended until he personally wrote a letter of apology to my colleague.
Good call, boss!
mdog95 ยท 870 points ยท Posted at 22:30:36 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I REFUSE TO USE MY BRAIN! STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME THINK!"
akai_ferret ยท 621 points ยท Posted at 06:34:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I die a little inside every time I have the exchange:
Idiot: "There's an error!"
Me: "What does it say?"
Idiot: "I don't know!"
Me: (under my breath) "BITCH, CAN YOU READ?"
Bombadils ยท 553 points ยท Posted at 07:41:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
FUCK ME WITH A KNIFE, I KNOW. You just need to read the fucking words in front of you out loud. I'm not expecting you to understand what SSL error 46 means, I don't need you to know what cftmon.exe does, just READ. THE. FUCKING. TEXT.
"OK, well....what does the error message say...?" asked the tech, hesitantly. "I'M NOT VERY TECH SAVVY" said the user, stabbing himself in the eyes with usb sticks and slamming his laptop closed on his eternally flaccid cock.
obligatory gold edit Gilded 10 months after the fact, thank you fellow sufferer of other people's stupidity.
5-4-3-2-1-bang ยท 170 points ยท Posted at 12:00:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I die a little every time... after going round and round a few minutes, user offers up, "oh, there was an error message, but I clicked OK to make it go away."
'What did it say?'
"Error"
MotherFUCKME
onepointoffailure ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 12:50:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's when I tell them I can't help them if I don't know what the error is, and to call back when it happens again.
Bombadils ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:06:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out.
gonresthird ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:59:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you all know about this
5-4-3-2-1-bang ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:06:25 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yessir! However it's almost triggers PTSD for me to read that sub too long. (no not really, but thanks nonetheless!)
d1sxeyes ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:26:18 on October 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry to hear that, could you tell me what you're trying to log in to?
Hmm, that's strange, you shouldn't normally need to log in to your email, could you describe what you're looking it?
Ah OK, and could you tell me what it says when you try to log in
Could you read me the full error please?
Well, there are a few different error messages that normally display, but I'm not familiar with that one... Could you just try to log in and read the words on the screen to me exactly please?
I know, but if I don't ask you to do this then my boss will say I didn't try everything to help you so please just humour me.
If you read the whole message, does it ask you click OK to change it?
alienslayer7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:38:27 on August 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my mom is the worst at this, and guess who has to fix her computer constantly
5-4-3-2-1-bang ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:17:10 on August 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hopefully somebody else! (I know it's not somebody else... I feel ya!)
shadowgattler ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:06:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're gonna need to break your arms if you want that last part
hypervelocityvomit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:52:21 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
#3meta5me
NiceUsernameBro ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 15:18:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I can't log in."
"When you try to log in, what happens?"
"It gives me an error saying I can't log in?"
"What is the specific wording of the error?"
"... password is expired and must be changed."
"Could you go ahead and set a new password?"
"I don't know how."
pull ticket history. user has been with the company 10 years. motherfucker, you've been an office worker for 10 years. how do you not know how to set a password by now?
p1-o2 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 23:17:31 on August 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I try not to judge, but I find myself filled with contempt for people at work with this problem. You use it every day for work. You would not have a job without it. How about LEARN THE BASICS.
Just... learn how to email, change passwords, write down error messages, change brightness on monitor, undo and ctrl+z, and windows explorer.
How CAN YOU CALL YOURSELF A COMPETENT HUMAN BEING IF YOU CAN'T USE THE CORNERSTONE TECHNOLOGY OF MODERN TIMES.
Sorry, I'm done now. I needed that.
sugardeath ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:36:42 on September 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not even that. A competent human being could work in construction and never need a computer ever.
But when the person's job literally revolves around outlook, word, and excel.. you better fucking know how to the basic functions in all of those programs. IT is not here to train you on skills you said you had in order to get hired in the first place.
jason6253 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 23:17:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
beautiful
AdvocateForTulkas ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:45:03 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Just read what you see on the screen and we'll go from there. The stuff in the box."
"Start.... Search... Excel... I have a lot of things on here, I don't know what you want from me, I don't know what's wrong, I called you to help me!"
Oh sweet baby jesus.
coolkid1717 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:03:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest. If that person is so incompetent that they can't read an error message, I have little hope that even if you knew what error it was, that you would be able to get them to follow the directions to correct it.
Mydadfucksme ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:07:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You really would not believe how many people actually can't read or get a lot of anxiety when told to read and they freeze up.
Bombadils ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:48:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...I feel like being illiterate would create problems using a computer long before you got to the point where you needed to read out an error message.
Mydadfucksme ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:08:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, a long and painful process using a PC would be, but it happens
Bombadils ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:00:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, one of my users is actually blind. Uses his entire machine by voice command. It's fucking weird when I call him because he's alternating between talking to me and dragon.
fbholyclock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean there are alot of unique symbols on a computer. I dont think it would be to hard.
Sloppy1sts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:19 on November 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sort of like the alphabet that they can't handle already?
hypervelocityvomit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:51:24 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Spoiler: Nothing. It does nothing.
Flash_hsalF ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:23:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Beautiful
Easy_Toast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:54:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit. I know this really good therapist if you need to talk...
Secretly knows this is my own reaction every time I'm in that situation
vivaburritos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh, spicy
flameoguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:08 on January 22, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're not tech savy, can you at least be literate?
MarcelRED147 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 08:36:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This exactly. You don't need to be a computer person if you're calling tech support, you need to be a literate one.
hypervelocityvomit ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:56:11 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"<User> describe yourself in one word."
"Not good with instructions."
"Duh."
"OK <TS>, if you think that's an easy question, why don't you describe yourself in one word."
"Josh."
"?!?"
#pwned
lagerbaer ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:06:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well if you don't know what it says, how do you know it's an error?
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:53:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
sir I am not a reading person, and as you refuse to help me I will hang up now
hypervelocityvomit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:14 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"So you lied about your qualifications Y years ago? You do know you signed that in that case, the company is eligible for a refund of your salary, which is right now, $X,000, times Y, times 12?"
Laue ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:10:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm yet another CS student in college. Some of my groupmates are guilty of this. And boy do they get shit for it from some of our lecturers.
Then again, they are the same people who still haven't learned English by the age of 18.
Dwayne_J_Murderden ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:52:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Risky move saying something under your breath in bold, italic, capital letters. They're probably gonna hear you.
Cloymax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:54:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think I'll never be truly happy with my job until I can say these sorts of things out loud
GamerKiwi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:18:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If people could read error messages, like, two thirds of tech support would be out of a job.
skavinger5882 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:23:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of asking them 'What does the error say try asking them to read you the error message. That way your asking them to perform an action instead of supply information.
drinkscocoaandreads ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:11 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One time I legitimately had an error on my work computer that was just completely empty. Like it just said "ERROR " and nothing else. Couldn't open any new programs, couldn't close anything.
I called tech support and I could just tell that they didn't believe me. The brief silence when they finally jumped in remotely was glorious. The fact that that computer never worked again and had to be replaced (which took two months), on the other hand, was not.
akai_ferret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:01 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
2 months!?
What kind of shit show operation are those clowns running over there?
drinkscocoaandreads ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:01 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Public library. We were switching networks and getting new computers anyhow because the computers were ancient and our network and outsourced IT sucked. Our patron computers were actually down for just a little bit less than two months, and we had to spread the few laptops we own across the system.
It was Hell, but that's what happens when you have a treasurer who refuses to modernize on time.
diMario ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 04:39:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, when designing websites that is one of the design goals: avoid making the users think. That is, make the use of the website so intuitive and natural that people can't screw up. There's a book about it with an appropriate title:
https://www.sensible.com/dmmt.html
DumbCreature ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 08:02:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's how we end up with a bunch of idiots, who can't perform even the simplest task.
DrQuint ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:18:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's also how we make money.
Remember, your job is to have everything working so well that people will look at you and wonder why they pay you. Until something breaks of course.
Alix1723 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 09:09:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Come on now, I wouldn't call Apple users that.
CapnSippy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:36:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How do people still find this funny?
DaHolk ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 11:07:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have had the literal response of : "I don't want to understand any of this, I just want it to work". - University professor.
KhorneChips ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 11:56:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least that person is being honest. I hate the attitude, but I can work with it if it means getting them out of my office/ticket system.
My parents are the same way, but I've been slowly teaching them things against their will anyway.
DaHolk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:44:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If I was giving them a lecture worth of a certificate, I could even get behind that.
But on the one hand they are agrevated because it takes a while to solve their nontrivial problem, on the other they don't want to listen to the small explanations on "how to avoid sitting here again tomorrow".
They can't have it both ways. I'm not the herb-hermit in the bog, who has to magically whisk all your problems away instantly and get burned on the stake if it doesn't suit you.
Either they can get prissy for it not being instant, at which point they WILL have to listen if I tell them why it takes some time and how to avoid spending this time with me. Ot they can shut up and wait till I am done.
ffxivthrowaway03 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:37:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The problem with those people is that it's not that they don't want to understand it, they also don't want to listen. You accept that they don't care and just want it to work, so you get straight to business, cut the personable side of the process, and go full on step-by-step ABC "do this to fix the problem."
Then they fucking hem and haw every step of the way. "Oh that wont fix it." "It must be the server." "Today is the last day for that Windows 10 thing, thats what messed it all up"
Bitch, you said you didn't care. Just shut up and do what I say needs to be done and let me fix it so we can both move on. There's no magic one click solution just because you don't care about it.
ka-splam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:46 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
and they face "I don't want to understand any of this, I just want a job" - University student.
DaHolk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:50:27 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, While a lot os students are inertly disinterested, a huge chunk of that grows on the soil of bad lectures and pointless exams only designed to test parroting.
And profs not interested in using any type of modern equipment proficiently under the argument of "we didn't have these things back then either, it's so complicated and never does what I want it to" doesn't help either.
I have seen more "bad" profs with disinterested students, than really proficient teachers who don't get at least a significantly more interested audience.
hypervelocityvomit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:56 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm.
Finally passed that Econ. exam not by understanding, but by comparison. I.e. "OK, that's $1400 this time, it used to be $1200 last term. 8% of that goes into the box to the right,
$96$112.Then, take
$1200$1400 and add it to the result of part 1, which was$4800, uh $5200 this time. $6400 go into box 2.Now, take 15% off that amount and put the rest into box 3, that's
$4930$5440."I put these figures in, and tried to solve the test the "real" way. I passed, but if I had tried to reason the exam, I would have failed.
TL;DR: Passed an exam because "that's the percentage that always goes into box #X", not via understanding the material.
UsuallyInappropriate ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:16:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"HURRR HURRR HURRR DURRR DURRR!"
themrme1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:14:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am NOT a brain person!
Rajani_Isa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:01:34 on October 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a guy who takes delivery orders as part of his job, I can understand.
But, if you want that pizza delivered, you better be able to give me your address.
Henkersjunge ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:30:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When things dont go as expected many people panic, making it just worse. Ever seen one of those dashcam video with the woman screeching at 12kHz and 130dB? makes concentrating on evading debris much harder.
Please, JUST CALM THE FUCK DOWN.
bawzzz ยท 180 points ยท Posted at 01:41:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh where to begin...
Well just today.
Me: Okay let's just reboot the computer and when It comes back up well see if the Internet connection comes back
Her: OK how do I do that?
Me: on the bottom left there, there should be the circular start button, if u click on that, there should be a shut down butto--
Her: okay slow down....staaaart
Me: sorry, yah so click start, then beside the shut down button, there should be an arro--
Her: OK so I click shut down
Me: okay so well wait for that to shut down
computer shuts down
Me: OK so let's turn it back on
Her: I did
30 sec later
Me: still loading?
Her: nothing yet
Me: did u click the power button?
Long story short, she was clicking on the monitor power button, then the optical drive button to turn the computer on.
The issue I was trying to resolve should've taken the average person ~3 min to do....took her almost an hour.
[deleted] ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 02:52:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
cs76 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:19:35 on September 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So, I've always wondered. Is the captioning done by a computer or is there a person listening to what the 'non hearing impaired person' is saying and typing it out in real time for the 'hearing impaired person' on the other end to read?
BingBongMcGong ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:02:40 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most captioning places use voice recognition software, but it doesn't directly transcribe the voice of the person/business taking the call. The captioner is the one who speaks to the voice recognition software by echoing the voice of the person on the phone, in a monotone / understandable-to-the-software voice. But they have a keyboard as a backup.
GeebusNZ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:39:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I wonder if they're just dicking around to fill some time.
n1c0_ds ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:41:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was she employed, or was it a private customer?
bawzzz ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:02:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An employed nurse, believe it or not.
Henkersjunge ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:32:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I believe it. Time you spend on the phone is time you dont need to actually work. The more you dick around, the less you handle human shit and blood.
gharbutts ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:01:22 on September 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This always amazes me as a nurse. You need almost no computer knowledge to be a nurse, but the people who are tech-challenged waste hours charting and doing basic stuff that takes most of us minutes. It's so inefficient. I have taught so many smart people really basic things like keyboard shortcuts, basic excel spreadsheet formatting, and how to find programs under "Programs" in the start menu. And watching some people type drives me bonkers. So much backspacing over whole sentences to fix a single misspelled word and proceeding to type the same thing back out with two fingers. But they manage to take care of their patients pretty well, they just don't know what most of the keyboard buttons do.
bawzzz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:13:08 on September 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just the other day I dealt with an elderly client over the phone who sounded to be in his 80's. His job description was "Registered Nurse II". Almost seems like he has never used a computer in his life. He's never heard of the key "colon" (:), he doesnt know what Internet Explorer is, he couldn't follow the simplest instructions, took him almost 10 minutes to get a site which I repeatedly spelled out for him etc... Just amazed that someone with the intellect to become a registered nurse can be so illiterate in the most basic computer functions. With the way he was mumbling and not following instructions, I'm concerned about him giving out medical advice or even sticking a needle in someone's veins.
Marcusaralius76 ยท 145 points ยท Posted at 12:50:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man: "Vague Problem Description"
Me: "Layman Diagnostic Question"
Man: SIR, I am NOT a ____ person, so I don't know!
Me: "Ultra Layman Diagnostic Question"
Man: I don't know what that is!
Me: Well "Ultra Ultra Mindnumbingly Basic Diagnostic Question"
SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A _____ PERSON AND YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP
FlameSpartan ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:20:22 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just want you to know that this is now a meme, and it might be my favorite one.
Legofestdestiny ยท 164 points ยท Posted at 22:30:11 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a tech support desk (too specific to go into) and I can relate. It's at this point I usually stick a finger gun in my mouth and blow my brains out.
TimtheBigDaddy ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 01:44:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you haven't already, check out the sub r/talesfromtechsupport. I've died laughing reading some of the stuff from there.
whywoodley ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:28:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
RIP
akai_ferret ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 06:29:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
That sub is so fucking awful.
The most popular posts are just poorly written masturbatory fiction.
Upvoted loyally by a readership of sycophants who creepily obsess over, and fellate the egos of, the authors of said terrible fiction.
And if you dare to point out that the shitty story makes no fucking sense, the story reads like a "bestof" post from /r/thathappened, or that the crappy author clearly doesn't even know what they're talking about ... the sycophants will turn on you like a pop-star's swarm of 14 year old twitter followers.
I don't think most of the readers even work in IT, I can't imagine real IT folks could read those shitty fiction stories without all the gross inaccuracies getting under their skin.
Bombadils ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 07:42:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This guy has never worked in tech support.
Chimie45 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 09:15:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, most of the stories are pretty masturbatory or exaggerated for effect.
That being said, people are dumb and most of the stories come from a true event.
PianoMastR64 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:56:40 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The difference between an interesting story and a boring one is how it's told.
ProgrammingProgram ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:18:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget, they're written by sychophants!
Frodolas ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:52:30 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, they're upvoted by sychophants. Learn to read.
Codythehaloguy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:02:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, I've never worked tech support and I can believe that shit from the experiences I've had with retail in Walmart's electronics section.
PM_ME_CHUBBY_GALS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:04:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Instructions unclear, brains on wall.
SuggestiveWink ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 13:19:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: zookeeper, how can I help you
Parent: my child fell in the cage and I can't get him out.
Me: okay what cage is it?
Parent: I am NOT an animal person so I don't know
Me: okay, well does the animal inside look like it can harm your kid?
Parent: I ALREADY SAID IM NOT AN ANIMAL PERSON AND YOU ARE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP NOW
rip Harambe
the_real_grinningdog ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 09:42:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My 86 year old father in law "I'm not using a browser I'm using the Internets"
(Note: Said with an unspoken "...you idiot"
citrus_monkeybutts ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 12:25:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds similar to my mom the other day...
"I downloaded the thing but I don't know where the downloads are"
"ok.. well what browser are you using?"
"I don't know, I just downloaded it, I don't know where it is"
"Right.. I get that. But without knowing which browser you're using, I don't know where to tell you to click to find your downloads"
"Well, I just logged into my email and then downloaded it from the one I sent myself from my work email"
"Ok.. I get that. I do. But what browswer? Internet explorer, chrome, firefox?"
"I don't know"
"Did you click the fox, the E, or the multi color circle"
"The Circle"
"click the 3 dark bars that are up by the X for closing the window and then click on your downloads"
"OH! there they are!
I love my mom, but holy fuck does she make me want to just drive the 1.5 hrs to do it myself.
georgepond155 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 13:09:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Which is why unified download folders, adblockers, and a variety of sites GLUED to the Favorites / w/e bar is mandatory. Sure, they can figure it out, but it would save you the hassle.
Or this printed and glued next to the designated computer spot
Magister_Ingenia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:28 on December 25, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly a lot of people are too imcompetent to even do step 1.
robotoverlordz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:12:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do yourself a favor and put Teamviewer on your parents' computer so you can remote in to solve their issues.
jungletek ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:28:40 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do yourself a favor and don't trust or use Teamviewer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:45 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ok, then get whatever microsoft uses where they take over your computer and fix it for you
Hullu2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:16 on August 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or just use VNC
CaneVandas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:00:08 on September 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have both of my parent's computers setup for remote login desktop support. Best of both worlds.
CocoDaPuf ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 16:54:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In reading all the copypasta hilarity stemming from this post, I had a realization...
This call was not about you and it was not about getting help. This person did not want help. This was about winning an argument with a third person (whom you never spoke with).
There was probably also a person standing right next to your caller hearing only half the conversation, and from that person's perspective, the call sounds more believable (if not reasonable).
Caller: "I'm not able to log into the website!" Tech: ... Caller: "SIR, I am NOT a computer person so I don't know." Tech: ... Caller: "I don't know what that is!" Tech: ... Caller: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A COMPUTER PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP" Caller: "See Margret! I tried and they just won't help! I'm not calling them again."
This was about winning an argument, not getting tech support.
Polish_Potato ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:18:01 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking HATE people like that.
FlameSpartan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:27:26 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who doesn't suffer from a cluster B psych disorder hates people like that.
Doonce ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:19:49 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "Pawn Shop, how can I help you?"
Them: "I want to bring something in."
Me: "Okay what item will you bring through my door?"
Them: "SIR, I am NOT an item person so I don't know."
Me: "Do you know if it's a vehicle, a valuable, an antique?"
Them: "I don't know what that is!"
Me: "Okay, when you want to come through my door will you drive it, carry it, pull it...?"
Them: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT AN ITEM PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"
[deleted] ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 22:39:55 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This infuriates me.
FuffyKitty ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:28:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once? Once? Oh sweet summer child, I get that at least once a day. Yes, in 2016.
qitjch ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:44:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had something similar happen while working IT at university.
Lady called in complaining that her name was showing up on certain websites when she Googled herself. Keep in mind, she was referring to a site listed on like the 5th page of Google.
She went on for nearly 25 minutes about how she wanted this information removed and that she knew we could do it, but that we were just refusing to help her.
Made for an interesting half hour at work.
dramboxf ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:00:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone that's done phone support has gotten SOME variation of this call.
I remember someone who was incredibly PO'd because they'd deleted a shortcut and were 100% sure they'd deleted the program. Ten minutes of trying to explain what a pointer is was met with that same reply, almost verbatim.
Finally I used the analogy of someone using a card catalog in a library to explain what the pointer was, and then saying that deleting the shortcut was like tearing up one of the author cards. It didn't destroy the original book, you just had to create a new 'card.'
DarthToothbrush ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:40:59 on October 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Greetings! I am from the future, when your comment has taken over the internet. Unfortunately I could not make it far enough back to stop you. I asked the technician to set the dial further back, but he replied that he was not a time travel person, and proceeded to hang up on me.
Black_ValoR ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:55:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How does it feel having created the next big copypasta?
MystyrNile ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:54:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what that is!
galenwolf ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:36:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good, let them hang up. Desktop computers have been around since the 80s and there are thousands of books and courses to learn the basics. If they can be bothered learning, FUCK 'EM.
jungletek ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:32:03 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is a good plan to raise the baseline IQ by producing smarter offspring!
Clear_Runway ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 11:08:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
too advanced and they don't understand you. too basic and they get offended. sometimes those two ranges overlap.
earlsweaty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:38:24 on August 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Venn diagram for customers not understanding your instructions and customers getting offended is a perfect circle.
FlerPlay ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:36:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Computer illiterate users are one thing but script-dependent tech support annoy me more than my mother ever could.
Please don't take it personally OP, just what I got reminded of.
You explain a problem. You attach error codes. You suggest a possible reason for it happening. And all you get back is a generic
update graphics driver.
Completely uninstall and re-install the program.
Restart the computer.
There should be an abbreviation which you can cut-off techsupport with to skip their script. Something that will make clear that I have done all the things already.
It's really the worst with problems concerning internet connections. Those people on the phone have been traumatized by some crazy people.
Morkum ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:07:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You don't know about the code word? Guys, he doesn't know about the code word!
FlerPlay ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:16:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe this exists but it's xkcd after all....
killerbekilled92 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:42:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who does tech support for one of the biggest tech companies, I feel your pain
Midvikudagur ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:04:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite answer to questions is:
"Me: What kind of computer is it?"
"Them: The white one!"
ravibkjoshi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:55:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
After working in a call center, this is legit 20% of calls.
M00glemuffins ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:37:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a fellow tech support person I have had this exact same call :/ Like really, if you can't even handle figuring out the picture you click on....good grief. What's even crazier is a lot of the people we had calling into us did business with our company sometimes making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year running their own little thing.
...and they don't know what a browser is. WTF.
Along with that, so many people using internet explorer (which had issues with some elements on our webpage because IE is crap) and when i'd recommend they use a more modern browser like Firefox or Google Chrome they'd flip out about Google watching them and how they refuse to use anything by them. Then they'd go Google something.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:08:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Truly, this is the quintessential tech support call.
While working for Bellsouth's first aDSL rollout I had similar.
I.e. Mistreated or bashed for asking simple problem solve questions.
I tip my hat to you, for I too have the thousand yard stare, so to speak.
Excendence ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:16:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
After browsing Reddit for several years, this is the first thing that literally made me laugh out loud ๐๐
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:40:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Commenting just to leave a mark to prove I witnessed this.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:38:16 on September 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So...this is where it all started. Life is complete.
Grimveldt ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:18:53 on October 30, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All the feel of /r/talesfromtechsupport condensed into one comment thread, nice.
BigBluFrog ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:17:44 on January 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "Memory, how can I help you?"
Them: "I'm not able to remember the meme!"
Me: "Okay what subculture are you thinking of when you try to remember?"
Them: "SIR, I am NOT a meme person so I don't know."
Me: "Do you know which site you were using?"
Them: "I don't know what that is!"
Me: "Okay, when you want to reminisce, do you think of a green text, or a sad grizzly, orโ"
Them: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A MEME PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"
ANUSTART942 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:05:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I am not a computer person"
So does that mean they can't read? Error messages are for people who understand computers and for people who don't to relay those messages to people who do.
applepwnz ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:07:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, in my experience, "not a computer person" mean incapable of following simple instructions.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:22 on August 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love the word tho, 'computer person', it sound so silly
Sohcahtoa82 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:59:58 on December 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How does it feel to have started a meme?
This post made it to the Reddit 2016 Rewind
lagwagonlead ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:06:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I get about one call a day like that. I actually like those calls because I don't have to help the stupid person after they hang up. Then when their boss calls my boss to complain my boss takes my side and the stupid person gets in trouble.
svmk1987 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:01:54 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's illiteracy, and there's deliberate ignorance.
hogger85 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:13:28 on November 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you sure it wasn't them saying they needed the service without using the computer. Say it was a airline booking site, they wanted to book a plane ticket they had seen advertised with "go to airline.com to book" but they couldn't log on to the website as they don't have a computer. They don't want to log onto the website they want plane tickets.
applepwnz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:20 on November 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, we do get those "can you look this up for me? I'm too lazy to do it myself" requests pretty frequently which we always just do because it's easier, this time she was specifically trying to log into the website.
travelgirrrl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:49:28 on November 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work customer service for an online financial paper subscription service. The customers are all 60+. This is way too real
SeanTheTranslator ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:12:34 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hi im here before archive luv me plz
yukiflishy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:07 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So am I ๐
yukiflishy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:07 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So am I ๐
Sensorfire ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:52:28 on January 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Congrats on funniest comment!
Favorable ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:24:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad that they hung up or the rest of that convo would've been a complete nightmare
Wheresmygdglasses ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:24:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's so beautiful...
Thank you
Annatto ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:40:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SIR, I AM NOT A PERSON. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THINGS ARE.
Clbull ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:00:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you work in customer service or tech support, you tend to learn just how far the depths of human stupidity go.
monstercake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I swear I've seen this before, have you posted it to /r/talesfromtechsupport or something?
applepwnz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:34:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've posted this story here before, I don't generally go to /r/talesfromtechsupport because I feel like it would just get depressing reading about that kind of stuff all the time.
monstercake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
AskReddit makes sense too, just wanted to make sure I wasn't going nuts, haha.
Very memorable story.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:55:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
God: "God Support, how can I help you?"
Me: "I'm not able to know what is the meaning of my life!"
God: "Okay what are you expect to know?"
Me: "God, I am NOT a God person so I don't know."
God: "Do you know which experiences in life are you want to live?"
Me: "I don't know what that is!"
God: "Okay, when you live what are you doing to...."
Me: "God , I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A GOD PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"
keanedawg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:51:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me evrytime i pray
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:37:46 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Meme'd through the ground.
NoNickname90 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:21:32 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I gave you one point just so you could have 7980 instead of 7979.
I'm that kind of evil.
Jabbatrios ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:42:46 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was truly a wonderful moment, having witnessed the birth of a meme.
spennotheclown ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:52:56 on August 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is the freshest meme I've ever seen
doomishham ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:17 on August 18, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the birth of a meme
Theritas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:33:40 on August 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
how do you feel about this now?
NinjaBossPro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:46:27 on October 25, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just replying so I can lock myself into this meme for life.
IRKittyz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:02 on October 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sir, how do you feel about becoming a meme?
draginator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:31:00 on November 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well damn, should've been clearer I guess /s
yours_anonymously ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:24:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine a virgin calling the emergency room
Man: I am not able to have sex! Doctor: Alright, what's the problem you are facing? Man: SIR, I have never had sex before so I don't know Doctor: Uh OK well there should be a dick on you that you got to stick in the vagina! Man: I don't know what that is! Doctor: Well whom are you trying to have sex with? Boy, Girl? Man: SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A SEX PERSON AND YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP
musicals4life ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:52:18 on January 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had people do this to me at the gun shop.
Them: I need the price of ammo for my gun
Me: what kind of gun is it?
Them: I am NOT a gun person so I don't know.
Me: well what brand is it?
Them: I have no idea
Me: what caliber?
Them: silence
Me: .........how big is it?
Them: MA'AM I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A GUN PERSON, YOU ARE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO i'M GOING TO HANG UP
They later called back to complain to my manager that I wasn't helpful...
Draygon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:44 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not a people person either, from the sounds of it.
Realtrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like an extreme version of /r/itslenny
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
reminds me of any old women calling a call center for internet help. kek
MostModestReceptacle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What this reminded me of: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rTJtVyQhN0
Throwaway__shmoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This one wins.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, I really hope this becomes a meme.
Silv999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:19 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And so it did.
Engvar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just commenting so I can prove I was here if this becomes a thing.
TEG24601 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've had that call.
WallyHestermann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That made me angry just reading that.
GeebusNZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, it sounds like you solved their problem which they were too embarrassed to appropriately ask for help about. And having got the information they wanted, had to end the call in a way that made sense.
etnenopsidni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did tech support too and had these calls sometimes.
Makes you want to shoot yourself at your desk..
fermatablue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
AAHHH! That! That right there! That's when I know they're being too prideful, or stubborn to just calm down and listen.
My go-to response to that is now: "Why do you think I don't want to help you?"
MyKidsArentOnReddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty much the best way that could have ended for you.
porkyminch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
stop
don't
come back
BBarnZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just saw this on r/copypasta Did you take this from there or did someone post it there later?
peterfun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:15:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should've started with what color is your computer and how's the weather there. That would've soothed his nerves. /s
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:24:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bbwwaahahahahahaha, oh god my sides have left town
Virchuoso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:31:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Birth of a meme/copypasta
Rootner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:37:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have started something big.
The137 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:58:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is my new favorite thing
Blackishash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:22:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/talesfromtechsupport/
RexUmbra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Never thought I'd get an aneurysm from reading something on the internet. Excuse me while I go to the hospital
TimV55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:18:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I believe this happened.
Ungodlydemon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your experiences in life have made me laugh so hard I spat coffee all over my keyboard and ruined like half of it. I went down to IT to get a new one, just so I could type this and gild you.
Cheers.
Jeran ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
maybe they were too stupid to communicate that they didn't have a computer.
matthias7600 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Problem solved itself.
Firemanz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I get some sick sense of enjoyment when people say stuff like that. I just smile and say "OK. Have a nice day"
1573594268 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
After picturing this and all the following copypastas as being the same person, I'm starting to imagine they have a very difficult life due to their own willful incompetence.
TigerMonarchy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bow to you, Redditor. I bow to you.
isit2003 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The birth.
Aikarus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Blood pressure -rising
Roose_Bolton123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Witnessed.
IAmAGoodPersonn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh my god.. one day ago? I CAN COMMENT IN THIS PIECE OF ART
HOHOHOHOHO
Adama0001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh if only they'd hang up... I still shudder from memories of dialup tech support for users moving from AOL.
amazingblu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Witnessed
Llenhard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its growing o.O
blfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i was here. At the birth of a Meme.
The_Mr_Lube ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My new favorite thing on reddit
irobot335 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:48:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was here for the dawn of this meme : > )
DLTBBFAN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
im so happy i was here
imiiiiik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gee, Hillary Clinton's server guy really doesn't know what he is doing.
evangelistofchaos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Memes. Everywhere.
goat-of-mendes ยท 3338 points ยท Posted at 23:46:39 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to explain to someone that "fmail" didn't exist. The idea being that if email and gmail exist, there must have been an fmail at some point.
dhgdsgh ยท 2760 points ยท Posted at 06:55:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not computer illiteracy, that's fucking GENIUS.
IAmDisciple ยท 439 points ยท Posted at 09:12:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How have I not put it together until now? Maybe I'm the idiot...
[deleted] ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 10:48:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey it's ok, just send me an fmail and I'll explain it all to you.
spmd123 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:24:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Idiots unite! (sad cause even I hadn't put it together till now, so I am possibly and idiot)
BenSz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:10 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you're the dragonborn and you just don't know it yet
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 10:10:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I heard NASA uses fmail
KebNes ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 10:31:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fmail and Ultron... sons of bitches!
crozone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:10:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ultron? What happened to Tltron?
KebNes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was last week.
Twistedsc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I heard from an unconfirmed source that V(o)ltron is almost ready
KebNes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't tease me! Loved the latest season and it was my favorite cartoon as a kid.
CuriosityKilledDaFap ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:08:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait... What ever happened to FENIUS??
rnick467 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:09:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So it stands for "Fucking-mail"?
chocolate-cake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:37:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
fun mail
Project2r ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:32:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
in one week, if no one registers www.fmail.com I think I will register it.
edit: never mind. it's registered to what looks like a squatter.
chedyot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
fmail.us isn't taken yet
Nulono ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:04:11 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HolyMoleyCacao ยท 389 points ยท Posted at 05:44:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Incredible. Fucking amazing.
cwsup ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:44:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read this in Ricky Gervais' voice
class_Human ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:23:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like persons that in order to delete a program they delete the icon.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, like the time my mother tried to back up all her programs onto a disk. she ended up with a disk full of shortcuts that of course went nowhere in the new machine.
TenTonsOfAssAndBelly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom thinks I am.
ProgrammingProgram ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:15:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Uh.. uh.. your mom.. is.. uh.. dead.. OOooohhh.. oh..
Family-Duty-Hodor ยท 1058 points ยท Posted at 07:52:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's an email service exclusively for women. It's pronounced 'fee-mail'.
Huwbacca ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 13:38:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not she-mail? This would explain why my Google searches have gone awry.
twiggymac ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 11:39:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that would be ฯMail
Leprechorn ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:40:46 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well if there's fee-mail and ฯMail, is there fo-mail or fum-mail?
nothing_in_my_mind ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 12:38:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
tips fedora
m'ailady
forever_clever ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 13:08:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fee-dora
Struwwl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:37:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/dadjokes
KingOfDunkshire ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:10:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's just pronounced f, because some lady deleted the "ee-mail."
Family-Duty-Hodor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was excellent!
ClouSIN ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:46:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aww man
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 11:39:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:17:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:40:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Downvoted
Beernuts1091 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:41:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is also super expensive with a bunch of hidden costs....
haykam821 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:36:15 on October 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only $0.77 per month? That's not expensive.
Aleblanco1987 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:27:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
shemail
DontEatPineSol ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:47:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I AM COMPLETELY DONE.
g0t-cheeri0s ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:49:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Watched that episode last night. Had me in stitches!
joker38 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:46:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it a paid service?
Family-Duty-Hodor ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:50:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but it's only $0.77 per month.
tarantula13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How much does it cost?
haykam821 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:35:55 on October 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
$0.77 per month.
Brandino144 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:25:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're thinking of Iron Mail commonly abbreviated as Fe-mail.
oifsda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:17:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It only benefits women, but it's men paying those fees!
simcowking ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:58:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That would explain why no one uses it.
AlwaysClassyNvrGassy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:10:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds expensive
CronosDage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:01 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
and it rhymes with the other two, unlike eff mail.
So many letters are pronounced with an ee sound!
onlycatscare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:51 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The costs to send and receive are ridiculously overpriced but hey, it totes it's own agenda under the heading of "equality"!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:12 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It asks "are you sure you want to send this" a total of 3 times
Zamolxes86 ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 11:17:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
give it enough time with these over-the-top feminist and I can see fmail being a thing
AlmightyRuler ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 08:47:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ya know, as ridiculous as that sounds, on some level, it's not an entirely illegitimate question.
And chances are that, as we speak, someone has trademarked "fmail." Maybe we can get in on the ground floor of the startup...
venomae ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:48:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Want to still enjoy the email? But are the privacy settings of gmail rubbing you off the wrong way? Try our new FMAIL - something inbetween!"
Ketchup901 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:38:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
AKA Protonmail.
green_meklar ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:17:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
BRB, registering hmail.com.
firmkillernate ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 08:39:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, you should have seen the pattern. Your loss.
*registers imail.com*
PRIMALmarauder ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:48:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
iMail sounds like it should be an email client for Apple.
OneRedSent ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:25:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For hatemail only.
VictoryNotKittens ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:09:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I like this one. Maybe we should start an A through D-mail?
Enesmirac ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 10:17:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
weekly steins gate reference
ThisIsADogHello ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:12:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
D-mail came before E-mail, although it was sent after.
EpicScizor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:42:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A mail, Bee mail, Sea Mail, Da Mail...
LoraRolla ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:09:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the name of several notable fictional mail services including Digimon and Steins;Gate
BadSkinIsMyAesthetic ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 10:25:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, this was the same logic I applied when I asked my boyfriend why they never talk about the B and C league in the NBA and he had to explain that D stands for developmental (after he stopped laughing at me).
aJrenalin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:37:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't this a joke in the Cleveland show?
Sergeant_Steve ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:30:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Except that would also mean that there should have been an amail, bmail, cmail and dmail...
Wisdomlost ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:18:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least it's a logical theroy.
AuroraHalsey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:42:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Theroy Jenkins!
Zugam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:53:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sound like someone from Ankh-morpork.
JackHarrison1010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is the sort of pun I would make.
_THEJEWSDID911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Went into this sub looking for funny comments, came out a changed man.
cats7442 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:38:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
thanks mate. I spat all the coffee on the screen.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckmail
CRUMBLING_HOUSES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:52:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
fmail went to space and became rocketmail.
nanou_2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My god. I legit thought you had made a typo.
ValiOsu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It goes all the way to ymail!!
NipperMooney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This thread should have been called Poking Fun at Baby Boomers
Finchyy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:22:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is actually an "fsmail", which is a really outdated e-mail service by Freeserve... which my Dad still uses.
mitchell271 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:22:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My old roommate thought that to send an email to a domain (e.g. sample@gmail.com), it had to come from the same domain. Hotmail could only send to hotmail, gmail could only send to gmail, etc.
Guy had 6+ email accounts that he used on a regular basis.
SgtPepppr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We should ask Hillary about this elusive fmail. Surely she knows about everything internety
GotJoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was probably mozilla's idea when they first started as a browser, but just never got it accomplished.
Dr_Who-gives-a-fuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Carl?
stairmast0r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to think that since there was C and C++, there must also be C+ somewhere in between.
HiHoJufro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The secret lies in pronunciation. There was "eemale," later there was "geemale." So in the middle there was "feemale."
So it went email-women-gmail.
DrarenThiralas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean, it doesn't exist?
clamroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a coder. I tried, and was stupendously mediocre, to be generous. My older brother however, well the dude learned to code and it was like Mozart learning the piano. He's very skilled, and tried to teach me some stuff in C, and C++. Flash forward a few years:
Some code chode at a party (maybe 2003ish) was trying to tell us that he was working on a revolutionary new image storage format that used fractals to have a lossless compression that left huge photos with ridiculously tiny file sizes. I went to an art school so no one pressed him on the tech, they were all just impressed that this might be a thing we could use to get more photos on a zip disk. So I start probing about how he calculates a fractal and incorporates it into representing a raster image, much less completely recreate one.
Not to my surprise, he had no details and would dodge the question. The winner was him insisting that he programs in C+.
"You mean c++?" I say
"No. There's C, C+, and C++" he replies "how could they make c++ with a c+?"
Anyone who knows even a little C, or C++ knows that ++ is how you increment a variable by one, ergo C++ means C+1.
The dude never had a career in computer science. I came across software like Genuine Fractals many years later which showed me not that he was onto something, but that he likely read an article in wired or scientific American or something that made him think he could pass himself off as being smart
thehonestyfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, you're still using an iPhone? I just upgraded to the new kPhone. You're behind the times, man."
euphoriatheory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Employment office worker, have customers coming in daily for computer use. Customer: "No, no, I have email, NOT gmail."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
maybe he thought that f-mail had something to do with porn, you know fmail... fuck mail... just saying...
goat-of-mendes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was a she. She also thought the "e" icon stood for "enternet".
Player72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Google chrome and google mail?
Well Firefox and Firefox mail. Boom.
jellohead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When gmail was still in beta I called into tech support which asked for my email address. The rep was incredulous and slowly repeated. "Sir did you say @shemale.com?"
Railboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is strangely logical. Not sure I would classify this as computer illiteracy, to be honest.
Computermaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You don't want to know about bmail.
It's like messenger pigeons.
But with bees.
PM_ME_QT_CATS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Intermediate Value Theorem xD
Roxas146 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
well, Dmail exists!
jimjim1992 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is just as good as e, in fact is better, is one more than e.
Khourieat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
fmail is apparently the email thing facebook was working on back in 2010...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean....they're not WRONG technically.
Domain Name: FMAIL.COM
Registrar: TUCOWS DOMAINS INC.
Sponsoring Registrar IANA ID: 69
Whois Server: whois.tucows.com
Referral URL: http://www.tucowsdomains.com
Name Server: NS0.DNSMADEEASY.COM
Name Server: NS1.DNSMADEEASY.COM
Name Server: NS2.DNSMADEEASY.COM
Name Server: NS3.DNSMADEEASY.COM
Name Server: NS4.DNSMADEEASY.COM
Status: clientTransferProhibited https://icann.org /epp#clientTransferProhibited
Status: clientUpdateProhibited https://icann.org
/epp#clientUpdateProhibited
Updated Date: 07-aug-2015
Creation Date: 20-sep-1996
Expiration Date: 19-sep-2016
Concheria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone has to do it.
PM_me_when_HL3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
never heard about foofle? they have this great service foofle faps
will_holmes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is "ymail", which is Yahoo's version of gmail. I suppose if facebook made a mail server that could be a good name. Someone has to have the fmail.com domain and rights somewhere.
reubendevries ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
actually Fmail does exist
Portaller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Facebook's email thing?
waltjrimmer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:07 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"I've heard they're all the way up to g-mail by now, and I'm still using e-mail! I'm falling behind! I have to see if I can get into the beta for h-mail!"
Edit: Changed thought mid-sentence. Used the wrong they're/their.
RobouteGuilliman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:20 on October 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I should build an online email service called Fmail.
It's better than regular Email. But not as good as Gmail.
Capt_Blackmoore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:25 on October 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now someone is going to need to make H mail.
ABigRedBall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:19 on October 25, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
BRB REGISTERING MX DOMAIN
DEMIGOD9247 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:00 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, there is a real dmail and a [d-mail](steins-gate.wikia.com/wiki/D-Mail) from a TV series.
BTW, for the 2nd link, you might wanna turn adblock on as it'll be pretty laggy otherwise (so many ads -_-).
Stebraxis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:42 on November 30, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This one belongs on r/ShowerThoughts
[deleted] ยท 1535 points ยท Posted at 22:52:43 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad got mad at me today because Chase updated their website and I told him there was no way to "fix it".
Barrel_Titor ยท 147 points ยท Posted at 09:02:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, i work in IT and a surprising amount quieries i get are because a website changed and they blame their computer.
DaveDavidsen ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 14:49:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad has repeatedly done this to me because Yahoo has been his homepage since 1999 and every few months they will "revamp" their layout and I immediately get hit with "Yahoo changed things and I don't like it, please change it back." I CAN'T DO THAT DAD I DON'T WORK FOR YAHOO. Then he begrudgingly gets used to it only for them to change something again and we do it all over again. I hate you, Yahoo. Your website sucks and your constant changing of shit brings extremely unnecessary stress into my life.
dramboxf ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 17:27:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
REALLY need to migrate him to Gmail or something. Yahoo is one of the biggest sources of malware infection, and their address book security is laughable. Can't count the number of my clients (I own a tech support business) that went from 3-5 infections/month to zero just by getting them off Yahoo.
To be fair, it's not Yahoo specifically, but their advertisers. Lots of cross-browser injection malware from that site, at least in my experience.
DaveDavidsen ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:47:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He uses Gmail, per my orders, but his homepage is still Yahoo because that's where he gets his news and he refuses to change.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:06:50 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Happy_Neko ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:51:13 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Silly? You must have never dealt with someone that a) knows nothing about technology/computers/the internet, b) realizes they don't know anything about it, and c) refuses to change/stop what they're doing in order to prevent the problems they're having.
Eventually, it was far easier for me to learn about linux and how to intall/use it, and make it look like windows, then to constantly clean up my dad's computer from all the viruses/malware/whatever he got from watching porn all the time. Took the better part of a weekend, but saved me a lot of time and headache in the long run. If I knew where to start, I'd absolutely write an extension for a browser just to get out of having idiotic conversations on why you can't do X with Y and get Z to happen.
sigh
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:34:52 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Happy_Neko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:41 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well I stand corrected :) At least she was willing to learn-ish! Dad still won't try and learn anything different - if it's not exactly as how he remembered Windows it's not "right."
And thanks for the links! Looks like I have a busy night ahead of me, ha!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:08:56 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Happy_Neko ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:31:46 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well for the record I thought you were joking, so no harm no foul :)
This is amazing and even though I only understand about 50% of it, I know this is a huge amount of information. I've already saved it and thank you so much for taking the time to write all that out. I will definitely be putting it to use and hopefully I won't fall too far down the rabbit hole. If/when I get it up and running I'll take some screenshots and send them to you!
And seriously, don't sweat the first bit. We all have crappy days.
paca0502 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:34:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a more clear picture of the typical Yahoo article commentor now, thank you.
Happy_Neko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:12 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking A. My dad has his page set to the Comcast news page (that they automatically set when you sign up for their service) which would be fine, if they still used Comcast. They don't. They moved and it's not even offered in their area. But no, when everything was said and done I had a 45min FaceTime of having to walk him through how to "change the internet back to the right one".
Parents.
tesseract4 ยท 279 points ยท Posted at 03:38:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your dad sounds like kind of a dick, who lashes out at people when he encounters something he doesn't understand.
[deleted] ยท 214 points ยท Posted at 03:43:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
DINGDINGDING! He's a dry drunk that "likes" to be generally abrasive so he can mope around wallowing in self pity when people don't really want to be around him.
The technological ineptness is just the icing on the cake.
tesseract4 ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 03:47:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like my dad, 'cept he was never dry. I remember trying to explain things to him about the computer as a 14-year-old nerdling, when he was lit up and just itching to be angry about something. Sorry, dude. It gets easier once you move out.
[deleted] ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 04:04:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I walk away if he gets pissy with me when I'm trying to help him. He's not physically or verbally abusive, just not a fun person to be around. He does the same self centered dickish shit as when he was drinking but now it's coupled with an AA instilled high and mighty sense of moral superiority (not shitting on AA in general, just not at all a fan of what my dad got out of it) that's just exhausting to deal with. Believe it or not I preferred him not dry since at least then he was occasionally chill and fun to be around. Now he's either abrasive or ridiculously easily offended and mopey.
I could write essays on the weird bullshit he does and the "logic" he uses to justify it, holy shit.
One of those things where the only way to win is to refuse to play, as shitty as it is to have to seriously limit our relationship.
I'm enlisting in the USMC within the next year and know everything will work out. Hope your life is working out decently as well and I'm sorry you had to deal with similar bullshit.
tesseract4 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:14:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Sounds like you have a pretty good outlook on things. I basically went the not-to-play route, and largely checked out of the relationship for the last few years before he died ("car accident" after a knock-down-drag-out with his cunt of a third wife (13ya, I was 23). I honestly don't really regret that part, but I do regret my younger sister having to put up with a few more years of bullshit without me around. She's a shrink Now specializing in ACOAs, so go-figure. I guess she turned out better than me, so I'm grateful for that. Now, there was never abuse of anything, but being over at his place (especially after sundown, 'cause that was Miller Time) had by that point become largely untenable for me, so once I had a car, I basically stopped going over there (parents were split up and lived close to each other). So, yeah, he's been gone for 13 years now, and I still have some demons to work on (addictive personality, anyone? Fortunately, I don't drink much at all, 1-2/month), but all in all, Things are ok. I miss him, but only the sober part. I think I'm entitled to pick and choose, at this point.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:11:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is really awesome so my sister and I are, fortunately, largely unaffected by his illness. I'm happy your sister made it out pretty good though, and happy for you/proud of you for confronting your own demons. Shit ain't easy.
This is essentially what I'm living by regarding him. He hasn't been so horrible to me that I want to cut him off completely but at the same time I cannot and will not sacrifice my own sanity in an attempt to deal with 100% of him, bullshit and all. I think it's better this way, for both myself and him.
tesseract4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:21:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Again, you sound like you're approaching things from a pretty sane place. That, or I think so because you're doing similarly to what I did. As I said/intimated, it was a soft cutoff, and we were never at a place I would even call estranged (we'd have lunch every few weeks when I was in town, etc.), I just got to a point where I didn't really want a day-to-day relationship with the man. That choice was 85% because of the drinking, and 15% his cunt wife. Who knows what would've happened later, as he died too soon for later to happen. On the upside, I haven't had to speak to my cunt stepmother since I railed her out for misspelling my sister's name in my dad's obituary. After that, it was lawyers-only; her choice, not mine, though I was just fine with that.
Don't get sucked down into his shit. That's what alcoholics do, wet or dry. Hang in there man. Once you're on your own, it's a whole other existence.
Throawaybuttbulge ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:38:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have any well ribboned advice but good on you for confronting those kind of demons.
KitchenSwillForPigs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, what does this mean?
tesseract4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:53:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It means two things: 13 years ago, and that I made a typo.
KitchenSwillForPigs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right. Sorry. I'm at work and I've been a computer drone all day. I should have been able to work that one out.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
13 years ago
KitchenSwillForPigs ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:16:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is my father in a fucking nutshell.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:39:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Children of weirdly condescending dry drunks unite!
Not a lot of people understand it. A number think I'm a piece of shit for not being totally in love with AA for helping him get sober or whatever.
I honestly just want him to go see a psychiatrist regularly so he can deal with his fucked up childhood and get a better understanding of what healthy love looks like. As is he takes every any critique or criticism ("use a plate for your sandwich please", "don't leave used tobacco just chillin on the coffee table please", etc) as "fuck you you piece of shit I hate you and everything you are". Beyond frustrating, especially since he's a really cool dude when he's not in a dumb mood.
KitchenSwillForPigs ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:50:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, part of me really hates AA. I understand it's helped a lot of people, and I think that's spectacular. But my dad met my step mom in AA, and I've met many of their AA friends, and a lot of them have that holier-than-thou mentality. I feel like they just swapped one addiction for another. You know, if they leave AA, even if they've been dry for decades, they are ostracized? The AA community will just assume that they're "enabling their addiction" if they don't go to meetings anymore.
I don't know about your dad, but mine started drinking heavily when he was thirteen, and didn't stop until he was in his forties. I don't know if this is commonplace among dry alcoholics, but when my dad went dry, it was like he was starting where he left off: at thirteen years old. He definitely was over sensitive to a lot, but more than anything he loves to play the victim. He's always been a narcissist, but it's almost doubled since he went dry. Everything is an affront to his character and every situation is about him. I'm glad your dad is cool sometimes. I wish mine was.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:02:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with literally everything you said. Fits to a T. Even showed my mom and she was a bit weirded out by how accurate it is but ultimately relieved that her struggles aren't unique.
I actually do like the idea behind the Serenity Prayer but my dads interpretation of it means he categorizes the dickish, narcissistic things he does as "things he cannot change". It is incredibly frustrating. I could write forever about my theories as to why he thinks and acts the way he does based on the way his parents treated him as a child and the things he went through but it ultimately doesn't matter. I can't change him. I also refuse to walk on eggshells enabling his bullshit. The only way to win is to not play, as much as it sucks to have to cut him out of a lot of the aspects of my life.
I hope at some point he realizes the effort it would take to address the dozen or so "character flaws" he has that make him extremely hard to be around is worth being able to have normal, healthy, caring relationships with family and friends and whatnot but I'm definitely not counting on it. Some people might call it pessimistic but I simply cannot rely on him or anyone changing their behavior for sake of my own sanity and general well being. I can't live a half life waiting for people to change so things get better.
orbital667 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:30:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I fall in line with your assessments. The swapping one addiction for another thing is -completely- valid in one context, but then the other side of it is obviously that one of those things will kill you fast, and the other will just kill everyone around you slowly. It's a tough trade off to ask anyone to make.
Honestly, it was good to read about your experiences here in this thread about computer illiteracy, it seems recovering alcoholic parents in AA and computer illiteracy have some sort of correlation. Thanks for your shares, I feel slightly better about the next time I get a call because his macbook 'memory' is full again.
orbital667 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:25:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
omg this is so my dad. He sponsors people from the program, and they come over and he is like a father to them, he cares for them, but he is inconceivably irate over nonsense all the time. Constantly makes mistakes and asks for help, but god forbid you provide a bit of preventative advice with your help, you're being an asshole. It isn't that you'd maybe want to save both of you some time down the road, it's that you hate him personally or don't know how to interact with other people, which is ironic given the source.
All the NA/AA psuedoscience jibberish has locked him into believing he is a mental health expert. He took online coaching classes and got a certificate and now he is A#1 Mr.Unbearable when it comes to anything at all. There is a motivation he thinks he understands that he is going to explain to you, and if you think it is silly or wrong, you're just misguided and need to see a shrink, which is what my shrink thinks he needs to do.
He was abused by an abusive alcoholic father. His father raped his sister, beat his mother, was generally a shitty guy, and I give my dad credit for being even half way decent after that childhood, but after a while the history wears thin as an excuse and the person never changing becomes irritating. I love him, but I wish he would get real help instead of the nonsense he's tied himself up in.
orbital667 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:15:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, hearing you describe you AA 'recovered' dad is like listening to my own thoughts about my 14 years clean AA/NA dad. Uncanny, really.
Back when Netflix was having all the really public interconnect problems and hacks on PSN causing outages, my dad was 100% confident that I was somehow sabotaging his Netflix to ruin his day. He could not understand why hackers would want to do that to innocent PS3 owners just trying to watch some Netflix, so it had to be my fault.
Or how he uses a Mac and I use a PC, and he is always asking me for help with his Mac, but I don't use a Mac, I use a PC, and if I used a Mac every day, without question I'd have answers, but since I don't, I don't, and he takes that to mean that I don't want to help him. Really huge similarity on the 'taking ridiculously easy offense' category.
He also struggled with his sexuality and came out as gay, and I'm totally accepting of it, beyond accepting, actually, I think it's great that he is himself and living the life he wants. He is convinced that I'm a homophobe. He can't take any kinds of jokes, even jokes by gay comedians he hasn't heard before, the first thing he hears is an attack.
It is frankly exhausting, and I keep my distance as you do for what I assume are the same reasons. It's just easier not to have him be an active part of my life. Man, I feel like maybe I should be seeking out some support group for NA/AA parents that have somehow been ruined by the programs. At least they're alive?
pooperloopertrooper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:21 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If he's in AA he's definitely heard the term "dry drunk" he just might never have thought to apply it to himself, also if he's in AA he has at least an inkling of a desire to be a better person, and he might really value honesty. If you tell him this stuff in an honest way and how it makes you feel and that you're joining the USMC partly to escape being around it, it might seriously change his attitude and could change his entire life. I could be totally wrong though, I am just a complete stranger giving you serious life advise after reading on paragraph about your dad after all.
stakoverflo ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:35:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Well you were the last one to use it, it must be something you did"
Shut the fuck up you drunk asshole, I'm the only one who knows how to actually use the fuckin thing.
He watches porn and would fuck up the computer then blame me / my brother.
tesseract4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, if only it were that easy. That would've been a one-way ticket to a junked computer for me.
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 13:57:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SIR I AM NOT A PARENTING PERSON AND YOU ARE REFUSING TONHELP ME SO I WILL HANG UP NOW
Hullu2000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:42:10 on August 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
2meta4me
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:48:37 on August 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sir, I am not a meta person.
RandomHero1138 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:43:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Brother?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:57:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm female and only have a 17 year old sister and a couple huskies for siblings, so nope.
RandomHero1138 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:11:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dont think he has two families that he would be an ass hole too... that would be crazy.
MarginallyUseful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I try to do the same thing, except I really prefer when people don't want to be around me. I fucked up though, because my wife is more than charming enough to make up for my bullshit, so it never works. I just want to be alone, god damnit.
Qvar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:12 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lawyer here, it's always my fault when the client does something on their own volition (ie divorcing) and they no longer can do something else that benefited them in their previous situation.
tesseract4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:54 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course. Why else would there be an aphorism about shooting the messenger if you're not supposed to shoot the messenger? ;)
VeryMagical ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:11 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like.... almost every customer in my work. Or are you being sarcastic?
[deleted] ยท -18 points ยท Posted at 07:44:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aren't you the dick for calling his dad a dick?
AlmightyRuler ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 08:38:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a TFS bit from Dragonball Abridged:
Vegeta: "You cut thru my armor! My FATHER gave me this armor!!"
Yajirobe: "Ah...well...I'm sure your father was a great man!"
Vegeta: "I HATED my father!!"
Yajirobe: "Oh...well, I'm sure he was a dick..." <Vegeta punches him in the face>
Vegeta: "HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT MY FATHER?!!!"
Micia19 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:50:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's more of an observation of the dad's dickish behaviour
tesseract4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Given the heartfelt conversation we had about our respective dad's after that, no.
ThirdFloorGreg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:44:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think his dad is the dick for being a dick.
rangerchick ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:40:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work for a retailer where I am hired as customer tech support. I deal with almost on a daily basis. "AOL changed fix it" "Facebook changed fix it"
One guy said the website for weather stopped working the fix was to update from windows 8 to 8.1. He got pissed that I did that.
mrmonkeyriding ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 07:49:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad did this for awhile. Seeing as I am a developer by profession, he assumed I controlled how Google looked. I don't know man, if I did. I wouldn't be living at home still.
ReadingWhileAtWork ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:07:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is there any sort of Greasemonkey/Tampermonkey script to do that sort of thing?
ThirdFloorGreg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:44:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Probably.
Matthew_Cline ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:17:24 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Stylish extension lets you modify the CSS for webpages. There's a bunch of existing rules you can simply download, or you can write your own.
no_this_is_God ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:11:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Check and see if at the bottom of their page they have a link for classic or legacy view and then bookmark that for him.
Source: work for a company that updated their website years ago but it's still an optional view so they don't terrify their older users
Vas-yMonRoux ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:56:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad does that whenever Yahoo mail changes their layout. He gets all confused and angry at Yahoo for changing his mailbox. Its hilarious to me.
MiserableLurker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dad, you head down to the bank. The last time you were at the bank building, it was painted blue and had a revolving door.
A few weeks later, you visit the bank, it's been painted white and has pull-handled doors.
You didn't like the new colors and doors, looked at me, just sitting in the same car and told me I needed to repaint your bank..."
dunnyone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At the time it happened, you could have logged into the cached version of the site. Useless now, but for 2-3 days, the old version of the site still exists in Google's cache.
adversegecko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my other half gets very annoyed (thankfully not at me) when tech updates, she doesn't like change, especially when it introduces bugs.
trevisan_fundador ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, Chase really did a fuck up job on their new website, didn't they?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Google used to have a portion of their website called igoogle.com. You could load it up with addable web-widgets like your gmail, weather, website news you liked, etc. I set it as my mom's homepage and she loved it.
They closed that portion of their website about 5 years ago. When they did, my mom get really, really angry at me about. Like i was the one shutting it down. Could not conceive of the fact that the site would simply be discontinued by google.
F4cetious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Man, Chase updated their phone app and stopped supporting anything less than iOS 8, not more than a week after I taught my mom how to use the app on her iPhone 4s. I'm usually the one who helps her with tech stuff, and I had to try to explain to her that there was simply nothing I could do to fix it, while she was very disappointed. Luckily she had a little extra money at the time and decided to finally upgrade to a new phone after 5 years.
ni_nini ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When Windows 8 came out my dad's IT guy upgraded his laptop from XP 2003. My dad screamed and fumed until the guy came back and was ordered to put it back.
SuccessAndSerenity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How is he at email? Because Chase has sent me no less than 5 emails over the course of several weeks detailing all the big website changes, tutorials, guides, countdowns, etc. I have been getting annoyed, but I guess I see why they do it now.
l3ri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:04 on September 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I talked to a person just the other day who was pissed off and wanted to cancel their account because another website was popping up ads. I explained that if they weren't on our website then the pop ups wouldn't stop just because they cancelled their account. They still cancelled. Sigh
G4RYblu ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nice username.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
HalfObsession ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only when his arms are broken
dndtweek89 ยท 4114 points ยท Posted at 20:41:02 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my former students was trying to print out her assignment. She opened up a new doc, clicked on 'save as', found her actual assignment and proceeded to save over it.
[deleted] ยท 5013 points ยท Posted at 00:18:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This gave me second-hand panic.
WiFiForeheadWrinkles ยท 160 points ยท Posted at 04:52:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I gasped out loud, then frantically pressed CTRL+S on my school notes.
Jakinator178 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 11:12:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting username...
Ripdog ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 10:57:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now, tell me how many backups you have.
WiFiForeheadWrinkles ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:41:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Three for this particular set of notes, actually. I am taking a board exam that includes two written submissions and an oral portion so I can't lose afford to lose any of it.
Habisky-SS13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:47:34 on January 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you're doing more than just running spell check when you proof read. Your comment does not bode well.
Griffinhart ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 06:56:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget to have colo redundancy (IMO mirrors if you have the space, though I'm not running anything enterprise-tier on my end so I just have a raidz1 server), a remote backup, and a cloud backup.
At minimum VCS that shit (with something actually good, like git or hg).
program_the_world ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 07:22:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or just use Dropbox.
crypto64 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:38:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This!
Griffinhart ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 07:29:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol.
program_the_world ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:59:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Care to explain? Dropbox basically has a VCS built in. That's a local copy and a cloud VCS. I'm not sure what the problem is here.
Griffinhart ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 08:54:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Storage capacity. This is fairly self-explanatory.
Certain features are money-gated. I don't have to pay money to get all of the features of git or hg.
Dropbox is not a VCs-first application - it doesn't do the things that good VCS can do.
You can only Dropbox things in your Dropbox directory; compare most VCS that let you create arbitrary repos.
You don't necessarily want all of your backups on all of your machines all of the time.
Mostly for me, it's the capacity and file location points that are major sticklers. If I used Dropbox for all my redundancy and backups, I'd be soon out of space and my file organization would be awful because everything would be in the Dropbox directory on my machine, which isn't necessarily the place I want my projects to be. With git (or hg, or whatever) I use only exactly the space I need to use for my projects, and my projects can be pretty much anywhere on any of my machine(s).
e: If you're willing to drop a bit of money on storage, then IMO Amazon AWS (
or EC2S3) + some form of VCS beats out Dropbox. Dropbox is convenient, but it isn't really a competitive solution.e: Or of course, a paid BitBucket/Github/whatever account will probably let you host private repos. I always forget that's an option, heh.
program_the_world ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:12:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I tend to use a combination of a number of options. For particularly important files I have:
The problem is that while Git is great. For the general public (i.e. the "I can't find Word" population), Dropbox is a good solution. Most people have very few important files, and zero backup strategy.
The number of people who I have met, who have single copies of thousands of photos on their laptop, boggles my mind. I've had a large number of people lose such files and then complain when they lose their laptop, drop it or the hard drive fails. Modern computers are very resilient, but what most people don't realise is that hard drives in particular are quite prone to failure. I've had a number die on me, but I've always had a backup available.
In short, my point is, having some remote backup solutions for most people is the best solution.
For people like us, well, we know the value of our data and how to protect it properly. Hell, I learnt in primary school how dumb it was to store documents on a Floppy Drive, expecting them to always be available.
Griffinhart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:19:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What? Why aim for mediocrity? Lots of backup for everyone trumps some back up for not everyone.
I mean, if other people want to be unsafe with their valuables then that's their choice, but if they're going to go out of their way to get protection, may as well as get good protection. And in the context of redundancy and backups, there's plenty of good protection, often at essentially no cost. Why settle for less?
program_the_world ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:24:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have you met the average computer user?
Griffinhart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:28:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Again, just because people elect to be stupid and ignorant does not mean they should not be told how to do things properly and to the best of their interests, or that they should not be made aware of good solutions to their problems, or that good solutions should not be provided.
Ignorance is not a sin, obstinately clinging to it in the face of reality is. And that sort of sin is self-punishing.
program_the_world ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:33:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't like the "Oh but I'm not a computer person" group as much as the next guy. Try and communicate anything to them though and they wander off into space. I totally agree that ignorance is no excuse. However, these people simply do not listen.
Yes, in reality, educating everyone on the best solution would be the ideal path to take. However, 90% of the people you educate on this subject will either not listen, or fall back to their old ways very quickly.
Look at where we are with password security right now. Everyone knows that their passwords are terrible, but relatively few are resolving the issue. There is a small subset of the population who are utilizing tools like Dashlane and Lastpass, but the vast majority have simple repeated passwords. It's not simply a matter of what's best, it's about finding a compromise that we can actually get people to use.
It's either we get people to use a simple service like Dropbox, or nothing. Those who genuinely care, and put in an effort will set up an appropriate backup plan, but those in the old mind set will never change. I've dealt with people like this for years, and there is no changing them.
Griffinhart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, and that's their problem. If they want to go with a suboptimal solution that leads to future suffering, that does not somehow magically invalidate optimal solutions; it just means they get to suffer the fruits of their labor.
program_the_world ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once again. Didn't say it invalidates optimal solutions. It's just that ignorant people won't use them.
Griffinhart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then that's ignorant peoples' problems, not the problem of optimal solutions.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 09:46:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Convenience makes it a competitive solution for people who value convenience.
XCVGVCX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:05 on October 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So much this. An imperfect solution that you actually use is a thousand times better than a perfect one that you don't. Dropbox or even (shudder) OneDrive is a great solution for people who just want some degree of safety for their files.
Git is great for code but it's not designed to be something you just stick your documents into. If you even know what AWS is, you're probably leagues beyond the average computer user and already have some complex solution that works for you but is completely inexplicable to anyone else.
Griffinhart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, but that's not what I was talking about, was it? I was talking about actually preserving the integrity of your data, not making you think it was preserved.
program_the_world ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:26:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The general public will select what is easiest for them. Period.
Griffinhart ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:29:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes? So what?
Does that mean we should just stop producing actually good products and settle for the easy road?
program_the_world ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:35:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't say that. You can develop better solutions, but unless you can appeal to the broader market they are only going to appeal to a relatively speaking, small niche group.
Griffinhart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, and? At what point at all was I talking about marketability? I'm talking about actually good solutions (with good bad/worst-case scenario coverage) to the problem of data loss/loss of integrity, not selling a product (for real currency or not - it's not like git or hg cost money).
program_the_world ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because marketability is crucial to the success of such a system. If you create the greatest backup software in the world but only a few people understand how to use it, then it's not that great is it?
An optimal solution in my eyes would be one that balances integrity with user experience, so those who aren't tech savvy can use them. There must be a compromise somewhere.
Griffinhart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is great at its job of backup. That is literally the only thing being discussed here (or rather, it was the only thing I was discussing).
And the clauses "greatest backup software in the world" and "but only a few people understand how to use it" are pretty much mutually exclusive. "If something is a mixed shade of black and white, then it isn't really black at all, is it?" Uh, of course not.
program_the_world ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They're not mutually exclusive.
This conversation is going to continue forever. We obviously have quite different stances. Neither of us are going to change our view.
Griffinhart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Yeah, seems like. If I understand you (or the other poster) correctly, it seems like you're beholden to this idea of designing products for the lowest common denominator and that that should be the end goal of all products - maximum market size, even if that means compromising functionality.
I... don't give a shit about people who can't rise to the challenge of using better tools to make their lives less shitty. If someone is given a spread of tools and told "thing A is the best for the job, but it requires some learning. Thing B isn't, but doesn't" and they choose B, then that's their choice. Thing A is still better than Thing B.
Like, to analogize...
Person: Oh man, hearing about people getting their shit jacked made me go check to see if my shit's still unjacked!
Me: There's a solution to that - put your shit in a secure deposit box at a bank.
You: Or they could just use a safe?
Me: lol
You: What do you mean by that?
Me: Safes aren't as good as banks. Safes cost more money, don't have all the security features (for example, the safe could just be taken), etc. They're certainly more convenient, but not as good as banks.
You: Sure, people like us know that banks are better than safes for keeping your shit safe, but have you seen how most people treat their shit? Why go to the trouble of telling them about banks? Having decent safes for most people is the best solution.
Me: What? How is poor security for most people in any way better than having great security for all people? Safes are more convenient, sure, but that doesn't make them better.
Another person: Convenience is better for the people who want convenience.
Me: That wasn't what I was talking about, but yes.
Other person: Safes are more convenient than banks therefore people are going to use safes more often than they use banks.
Me: That isn't my point. Banks are more secure and better than safes in all the ways that matter to not getting your shit jacked. If people want to use safes, and then their shit gets jacked, then that's on them. But banks are actually better and more secure.
You: But most people are stupid and aren't going to use banks because of the paperwork and the inconvenience of having to go to the bank. They'll just use safes.
Me: What stupid people do is stupid people's problem. Banks are better than safes at being secure.
You: You could have the greatest bank in the world but if it's too exclusive then it isn't really the greatest solution to the problem of getting great security for all people, is it?
Me: Uh, yes? Obviously?
e: Although the analogy falls apart if you consider that safes and banks are designed with security in mind, while Dropbox was not purpose-designed as a scaling VCS solution like most actual scalable VCS.
program_the_world ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:32:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're missing the point here. In this analogy the bank is clearly the better option.
In reality, people would refuse to use the bank as it isn't as convenient for them. That is not an opinion, that is a fact. The majority of people will gravitate towards convenience.
My suggestion is not that we should discourage people from using banks, or stop improving their security or encourage them to use safes.
Instead:
To continue the analogy, what we are looking at here is 3 options:
(1) Leave your valuables on your lawn -> (2) Put them in a safe -> (3) Put them in the bank
Most people are at 1. We need them to be at 2, but in an ideal world we would have everyone at 3. This is not an ideal world. Unless everyone sees the value (value is subjective) in option 3 then they'll continue using the lesser options.
We just need to make sure that this lowest tier provides suitable service.
Griffinhart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then the issue is that we are talking past each other/about different things. You've been saying "we should improve safes so people are more willing to use them" when I had said "banks are the better option."
(Or more accurately, poster said "my shit's on the lawn!"; I come in and say "you should put your shit in the bank"; you come in and ask "why use banks when safes are probably good enough?" and somehow that led to this.)
program_the_world ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:41:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And thus our journey comes to an end.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:28:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
program_the_world ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:31:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's kind of hard to tell when he responded with a single word. I just want to know what he means.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 10:52:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol.
program_the_world ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:36:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your point?
MexicanOverlord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Get fucking downvoted much? Jeese
Griffinhart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:18 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair to the downvoters, it wasn't much of a contribution to the discussion at hand.
gm3995 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:52:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're in school now? I thought it was holidays...
WiFiForeheadWrinkles ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:41:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm studying for a board exam, actually.
the_two_bones ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:01:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Summer classes do exist, and some universities even have three dedicated semesters with ~1 month breaks in between.
gm3995 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah. Also, in hindsight, it might be after holidays in America. I'm British, so I don't really know.
HeimrArnadalr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:48 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Traditionally in the US schools resume around Labor Day, which is the first Monday of September.
Mylaur ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:58:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My jaw dropped to the floor.
Wolfie_Ecstasy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:24:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's okay, you can rest easy knowing that you'll never be that dumb.
flameoguy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:51:33 on January 22, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But somewhere, out there, someone lost their documents to this stupidity.
Wolfie_Ecstasy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:30:26 on January 22, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somewhere, out there, someone found this comment after 5 months.
flameoguy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:08:25 on January 22, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Six months actually
Wolfie_Ecstasy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:50:26 on January 22, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Smartass
silentanthrx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
second that, that's one of the few actions i don't even know a way to recover the partial (/raw) data.
Titus_Favonius ยท 559 points ยท Posted at 22:18:35 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ. I'm guessing that was her only copy.
NeverBeenStung ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 15:46:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Should have been able to recover a backup though.
hugglesthemerciless ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 16:43:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you microsoft for storing autosaves in appdata. Saved my hide countless times
Cheesedoodlerrrr ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:55:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Explain.
hugglesthemerciless ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 15:20:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
C:\users\yourusername\appdata\roaming\microsoft\word will usually contain temporary unsaved files
Cheesedoodlerrrr ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 20:46:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is amazing. You have changed my life.
hugglesthemerciless ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:10:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Any time :p
stickler_Meseeks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:45 on January 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Change word to excel in that path and the same is true for Excel.
[deleted] ยท -34 points ยท Posted at 07:58:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
no she saved over that one when she was showing us what she had done to the first one.
[deleted] ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 09:43:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're not OP!
[deleted] ยท -31 points ยท Posted at 09:49:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm down with OP
sexyhatguy ยท 903 points ยท Posted at 23:56:39 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They did it intentionally... Write the first page of a paper, then "accidentally" save over it. Been there, done that...
dndtweek89 ยท 901 points ยท Posted at 00:15:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do it too. Trust me, she literally had no clue what she was Doug.
For some context, this was in a rather low-income district, and computer education was just not common.
[deleted] ยท 1976 points ยท Posted at 00:36:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
TheRandomnatrix ยท 164 points ยท Posted at 01:12:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doug to? Where did Doug go?
BusofStruggles ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 06:36:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate making mistakes when teasing other people about their mistakes on reddit, because then I have to just make a new account and start over.
CanoodlingSociopath ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 09:39:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my name is Doug, and i pulled that off successfully last year
schnadamschnandler ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:49:15 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I'M NOT A DOUG PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP
tiger8255 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:39:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
paging /u/doug
the_nidificator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:41:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SqUIRREL!
Megusta99 ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 04:50:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/unexpecteddoug
filemeaway ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 08:17:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wanted to believe.
joshi38 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:00:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me too, that show was awesome.
netsgnut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:47:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What?! How is that not a thing? Reddit has failed me!
mpturp ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:48:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, The old Reddit Comput-aroo!
ProbablyStoned0x1A4 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:48:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hold my Doug, I'm going in.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:04:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same
goldpeaktea314 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:42:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I literally only know one person who wouldn't be surprised by that.
Splodgerydoo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:17:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it Doug?
goldpeaktea314 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:19:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah
DoneUpLikeAKipper ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:36:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doug isn't a thing, it's a state of mind.
_ChaoticNeutral_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:04:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HALLO, YES, THIS IS DOUG
GetItReich ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:07:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you were a Doug to... what?
thndrstrk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Classic mixup
Wate2028 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:15:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Better a classic blunder...
Ai_of_Vanity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Classic black Doug.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doug to Doug.
hunleyd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am Doug. Was surprised.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It'd be rather Funny.
T-A-W_Byzantine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shut up Doug!
reloadingnow ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 07:22:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry but I just had to laugh at this. It sounds like she was schizophrenic.
southsideson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:17:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes people go through life in denial.
M002 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:33:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
unintentionally this is the funniest thing
EsQuiteMexican ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:09:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't imagine how low the income has to be for someone old enough to write papers yet not enough to know the difference between the word "save" and the word "print".
dndtweek89 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:15:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty damn low (the homeless student population was 10%), but she was using the icons instead of the file menu.
EsQuiteMexican ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:46:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's an icon for "save as"?
interrupt64 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:10:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In Word there are quick access icons, and one of them is "Save", which gives you the "Save As..." dialog, if the document isn't saved yet.
EsQuiteMexican ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, right.
amanitus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:59 on October 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where was this that that was the case? That's a huge number of students.
Gimegkos ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:57:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, No one knows what the Doug button does
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:20:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So that's what the Doug button does
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:55:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's very interesting, but please don't call me Doug
KinkyLeviticus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:49:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The random Doug
filemeaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is.. something.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:03:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
classic fucking Doug
douggums ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:32:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
?
N34TXS-BM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You were played like a fiddle...
dndtweek89 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:44:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If this had just been a one-time act of carelessness, then yes it would have been suspicious. But I am 110 percent sure this was not intentional. Trust me, other teachers and I were shocked that this student was able to find the school each day.
Tom_Lennon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:43:27 on August 31, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She turned out to be Doug?
Heroshade ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:33:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She literally had no clue what she was
Yanman_be ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:46:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yo dis ain't racist, just tell her she black fam
Shitting_Human_Being ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:59:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Amateur. Take a mp3, rename to assignment.doc and send that in.
realharshtruth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Especially if she's doing it in front of you
zdav1s ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:35:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite thing was to corrupt the file. I don't exactly remember how to do it, but every time I was running behind in an assignment, I would corrupt the file and submit it. Professor would email me back a couple days later after I had the chance to complete it.
Worked every time.
thescorch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:29:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The real key is to type save a word doc named as your paper. Then to open this up in notepad and delete random shit then save and send to your teacher. The file won't open it will just throw an error and you can get more time
manhattanitis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:56:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the old days of printed papers, back in high school, I remember sitting in the lunch room watching an older kid who was struggling with the workload (nice kid, not too bright) meticulously pour and press coffee in between the sheets of an assignment the last 5 of which were lorem ipsum word salad. It was super flagrant. There were about five teachers who noticed him doing this... but yeah. Nobody stopped him or told on him for some reason. We just didn't have that type of school I guess.
slackermannn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did it once. So tired that I couldn't write my essay and ending up typing a fatal combination of keys which turned into a shortcut to destruction.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 06:20:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Assignments were to be submitted in Word docs. I opened the docs, went to properties and saw the editing time. out of 20 submissions, 3 had editing time of > 2 hours, all the rest were a few minutes. I did not even check the answers. I gave full marks to the three people who did the work, and 0 to everyone else.
Internet001215 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 09:46:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that seem very unreasonable just saying, they could have just saved a copy. I know a couple of my work that I spent a lot of time on only have a couple minutes of editing time because of word being weird.
The_Despoiler ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:58:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with /u/internet001215, as a student during college I would often work on the paper and then save it with another name, such as "paper-final." This would be the version I submitted and the properties would only show limited editing. Or how about the student that starts the page, writes one line of gibberish, waits two hours before saving, and turns it in. Would that student get full credit?
/u/jaigoga I am under the impression that you are a teacher, as a teacher myself I find it odd that you would assign work and then not check the quality or for understanding. Sounds like nothing more than busy work. I firmly believe that busy work causes many problems in education, too much busy work causes students to think that assignments don't have to be done correctly and they see no benefit from completing the assignment.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the point is that none of the students that day protested saying 'we drafted in a different doc and copy pasted to this new doc'. on the contrary they were conflicted between being impressed with my evaluation skills and impressed with my bluffing.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 07:15:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sit down grasshoper and listen to the wisdom of the elders.
"Computer Data does not exist until it is stored in three separate logical locations and at least two physical locations"
Now meditate on this newly found wisdom Grasshoper.
Also, the Sensei is thirsty. Bring me a beer.
BorgDrone ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:18:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
3-2-1 rule,
3 copies 2 different types of media 1 copy off-site
amanitus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:06 on October 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's how I do it. I save the file in question to my Google Drive folder. That way it is automatically backed up to the cloud. Then I copy it to my external hard drive as well.
If I'm being extra careful, I put a copy on Dropbox as well.
amanitus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:41 on October 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This way if I ever had a presentation in college, I'd have the copy on my flash drive and a couple copies in the cloud. If all the failed, there'd also be the copy I turned in to the professor via email. I never had to resort to that though.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:10:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Years ago, when the diskette was still the main portable media, a friend if mine was an admin at a university.
Since he was at a humanities department, there were lots of young women running to him just before exams with cried for help, because the diskette's filesystem failed, and so the assignment was gone.
None of them had ever made backup copies.
atimholt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:35:05 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if they had a backup, they wouldn't go run for help.
n1c0_ds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:08:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least put it on Dropbox or Drive
SenderMage ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 00:22:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually gasped, just reading this. I think I would cry if I did that.
spiirel ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:50:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I watched a professor do this to a classmate. She worked for ten hours on the project already. This assignment was for a web design class.
joker38 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:02:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What? If I really want to open the file? Of course! Dumb question.
DiarrheaPocket ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:15:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, this reminds me of a friend of mine in college who was asked to proofread a mutual friend of ours' twenty page paper. He was reading it on her laptop, somehow hit select all, deleted everything, then saved it in a panic. The girl who wrote the paper was able to recover about eight pages of the paper but we never let the proofreader live that one down.
plop0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:58 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
fuck
joe579003 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:04:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you gave her an extension on that assignment.
dndtweek89 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:23:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course. We had to do all work in the school computer lab, so I saw both the work she had done and the incident itself.
maracusdesu ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:24:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was supposed to do voluntary work at a music festival back in 2011(you get free entry and food when you're not on the clock).
They accidentally saved over one half of all the schedules since both people in charge named the file the exact same thing, so my hours got erased - meaning, no work until they fixed it. I got free entry and food for two full days before they fixed it.
HanJunHo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:48:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FYI anyone who may do this in the future: open the folder in Windows Explorer, right-click in the white space, click Properties, gonto Previous Versions, choose the save point closest to when you deleted.
dndtweek89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:35 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This needs more visibility!
MegaBobagem ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:57:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back when in the days before User Friendliness, I manged to save a document and overwrite the text editor executable with it.
ejabno ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:20:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
breathes loudly
BiZZaK88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:54:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is too good. thats my dad in a nut shell. He has saved over word templates so many times i have hidden a second folder of templates. Not sure how many time you can show someone something before giving up. But im getting close.
aaaaaaaarrrrrgh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:25:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact: Still recoverable, at least if not stored on an SSD with an OS that does immediate TRIM.
Fun fact 2: recovering it is going to suck.
2059FF ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:58:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fortunately, since we live in the distant future year of 2016, all operating systems use version control by default and nothing of value was lost.
kidconnor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:27:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
เฒฅ๏นเฒฅ
scottharman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a colleague who just couldn't use Explorer or Finder on a Mac and only used the open and save file browsers to locate files - she lost more than a few scripts that way
Blaze_fox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:34:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you just gave me a psychotic twitch you heartless bastard
sephlington ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:24:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've caught my colleague doing that a couple of times before she's done it, and fixed it afterwards on more than one occasion...
runningblind924 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a coworker who had been doing paperwork on the computer for years at this point, and managed to save every report for every different building we do over the same report. Years of different reports all gone because he didn't understand save as.
Huwbacca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking Dropbox did this to my MSc dissertation four days before hand in, I was literally about to submit.
I opened up my project, and there was the title and one sentence and not the previous 8k words. What it had done was it had seen a mismatch between versions and just gone "well fuck, clearly the drop box one from 2 months ago is correct, let's put that on the machine" and overwritten it.
After hours of unpleasantnees I found out that Dropbox saves previous versions, I had to scroll back over 170 versions to find my finished document (the previous 170 where all this 1kb file of tears).
Not use drop box since.
Project2r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
there goes 40% of her final grade...
FourChannel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What was her reaction when she realized what she had done?
And how long did it take for it to sink in?
Like did she just keep trying to open her blank file over and over wondering why the new document blank page wouldn't disappear?
swizzlestuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did this at work a couple of years ago, and I'm pretty savvy.
In my defense, I was using in-house software and the only difference was clicking save vs. load, which were right next to each other. Everything else was identical.
We also had "cancel checkout" next to "save checkout" in another application with no reverts possible or warning popups.
Another application had "clear all" next to "copy" in the context menu, with no warning popup and no "undo" function. smh.
joker38 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What a bad design!
swizzlestuck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:51:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's enough to make you scream.
The software guys we have are actually very good, but we have about 1/4 the number we need. So if it's not catastrophically broken, it goes "on the list." Thank you very much Management.
libraryspy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think I just had a seizure.
tunanoobcasserole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. I've been there for sure. My students have done this before. Infuriating to say the least.
dramboxf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
twitch
vhite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hanlon's second razor
Never attribute to stupidity that which can be adequately explained by not doing your assignment.
drs43821 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard a PhD student who was not satisfied with one of his paper, hit Ctrl+A, Del. Start over.
But this is just mind blown
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:24 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know... I've played dumb before to get out of assignments. Saved my PowerPoint projects in all kids of incompatible formats and every day I'd come in and... "Damn! This one won't work either!!". Eventually the teacher felt bad for me and gave me a B for all my effort. The file I kept saving was a blank PowerPoint with one slide.
zarikimbo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:32 on October 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did the same thing with a game I had been programming for 3 months... I always save in triplicate now...
heartofcheese ยท 6818 points ยท Posted at 19:21:42 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus-chan ยท 2755 points ยท Posted at 19:35:34 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma would print all of their emails and save them in a folder "just in case." I guess if you're super paranoid about bank stuff or whatever, but she printed literally everything including all those "forward if you love Jesus" and silly shit like that
Ibakemyowncookies ยท 1364 points ยท Posted at 20:00:31 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Old people love printing E-Mails they just don't trust computers and like it the old way.
KittiesAtRecess ยท 939 points ยท Posted at 20:18:44 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A secretary at a company I interned at got fired for stuff like that. She'd receive tons of those "forward for Jesus" emails and printed them all out at work. After multiple times leaving them in the printer and multiple warnings, she was let go. I'm sure other things were involved too, like her using the postage printing machine for all her personal mail.
minotaurbranch ยท 419 points ยท Posted at 00:00:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Especially because she used the postage printing machine to address all of her email printouts to her backup account.
[deleted] ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 09:59:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 13:26:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The one time a printer actually prints. Of course.
unclefisty ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 10:53:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A color laser doing 4ppm must have either been super small or super old. Or both.
Probably quite expensive too.
OneRedSent ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 11:21:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was about 10 years ago. The latest and greatest room-sized printer from HP. It was probably more than 4 ppm but it was agonizingly slow compared to B&W. And incredibly expensive.
silentanthrx ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:52:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
may be even the wax variety....
thats's expensive
giveitago ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 02:58:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Secretary brought $800 chair without boss's approval because 'she had a bad back' which was not verified, she was made to return it.
GreatBabu ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 11:02:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You accidentally a letter.
Mithster18 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 12:26:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An letter. Thank you very much
dweezil22 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:14:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, you're not /u/KittiesAtRecess, are you just offering an oddly specific suggestion?
giveitago ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 12:37:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, just my own story of secretariesgonewild.
GourmetCoffee ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 12:55:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it kind of stops being a cute old people thing when they become too stubborn to be a functioning employee because they refuse to adapt.
I know a guy who works at a place where they still have to buy rolls of adding machine paper because the old farts at his job refuse to use the calculator on their computer.
I'd tell them to get with the times or get looking for a new job.
tah4349 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:38:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a 35 year old accountant, and I 10-key the shit out of things. Yes, I can use Excel proficiently, but a 10-key has a totally different function and it's perfect for certain jobs and quick calcs without having to navigate away from where you are/open new window/whatevs. It also functions differently from a calculator - I don't know how many times I've had to stop people from trying to do math on my 10-key because they don't understand that they don't work the same.
Danni293 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:19:53 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can you explain? I'm intrigued.
tah4349 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:43:57 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At which part? Why 10-keys are different than calculators?
Basically a 10-key works like this. You've got your numbers and the + and - signs (plus some other things, but that's not important for this). You hit the +/- to tell it what to do with the number you just typed in, AFTER you've typed the number. So the keying would go like
300+ (Money IN) 400- (Money OUT) 200+ (Money IN) to get a total of 100 Money IN. You think about the signs after you input the number, and it's more of an IN/OUT thought process.
If you input those same numbers into a calculator where you're putting the sign BEFORE the number you want it too apply to, so 300+400-200, you get a total of 500. Because the negative is applying to the 200 (AFTER the sign, how a calculator would read it, how a regular math problem would be written) rather than to the number BEFORE the sign (400) like a 10-key would read it. Hence why when people try to use a 10-key like a calculator, they get the wrong answer.
Danni293 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:13:30 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I see. That's cool. So in order to do normal math you'd have to flip and negate the signs it seems.
XJ305 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:34:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ummm adding machines are still very common and function very differently from a standard calculator. Many people of all ages who do accounting still use them.
tomatoswoop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:18:02 on October 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
could you explain this?
XJ305 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:38:34 on October 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A financial/adding calculator ties an operator to every operand. So instead of number + number = total, you have number+ number+ = total. Or a better example would be these inputs isolated by parentheses: (10.00-) (15.00+) (40.00+) (17.00-) = 28.00.
There are other built in functions on them but, they are designed to be quick and reduce error as clicking enter/total twice does not repeat the last action and keeps the total the same. There are calculators that you can download that do the same task however a lot of businesses like to keep the printed record of what was input.
tomatoswoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:11 on October 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate the response, thanks :)
I would still just go for a software version with a logfile though
silentanthrx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:54:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
where i work some ppl still use them. they say it's usefull to keep the calculus when booking the combined piece. (accounting).
personally, i don't get it... but why not... if you are used to it.
sueca ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:39:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I've never even heard of "forward if you love Jesus" emails, but being oblivious is bliss
Geodude671 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 05:34:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You've made your post twice, my precious cinnamon roll.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:47:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's made his bed twice, with the lord that is for not forwarding those emails.
the_norwegian_blue ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:43:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How much fucking karma are you trying to squeeze from this guy's mistake ?
Geodude671 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:36:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
a lot
Geodude671 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:36:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
like, A LOT
Geodude671 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:34:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You've made your post twice, my precious cinnamon roll.
the_norwegian_blue ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:45:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bet she
thinksfeels she was religiously persecuted.Well, if now she's broke and having to beg for food, Jesus didn't keep his end of the bargain.
KittiesAtRecess ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:19:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She definitely felt that way
TooMuchPretzels ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:09:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Welp, I'll pack my shit then. I havent bought stamps in seven years
coolfir3pwnz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:18:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess that's one way to be "saved."
sueca ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I've never even heard of "forward if you love Jesus" emails, but being oblivious is bliss
Geodude671 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:34:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You've made your post twice, my precious cinnamon roll.
Geodude671 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:34:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You've made your post twice, my precious cinnamon roll.
henrythe8thiam ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:24:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My poor grandma was trying to learn about computers. I asked her to email me something once and she insisted she couldn't because it was a holiday. Apparently she thought that it was like the mail system and that emails wouldn't be delivered on a holiday. She was 84 at the time so she gets a pass.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:32:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm I'll print this one just in case I want to give my card details to this Nigerian prince.
SurprisedPotato ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:22:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In 60 years' time, the printouts will still be in a box in someone's garage or attic. The electronic version would have vanished decades ago.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:55:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone needs to make backups.
maracusdesu ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:32:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in IT and I asked an old lady to send me a mail with the error message.
She did, but not in the way I imagined. She took a photo of her computer screen, went to a camera shop to get it printed, and sent it in a letter to my office. I had it framed by my desk until I quit.
memberzs ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:47:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can't trust computers. Hilary Clinton just lost out of nowhere thousands of emails. No idea how it happened.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:26:18 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How is a printed email the "old way"? Was that common at some point?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:42:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They like a hard copy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:11:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh. I replied to the wrong comment. Sorry boo.
CoreyTrevor1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:22:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They just like things physical! In my office I'm the youngest one, when I talk about needing to keep track of something I always scan it and file it on our district drive, but to them keeping track of it is printing it and filing it.
OneRedSent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:00:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In fact, before email, people in offices photocopied that stuff and handed it around. My mom used to bring home good ones for me to read.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:50:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try telling an old person who's 5 year old computer has just died with an out-of-date (or never setup/used) backup and a POP email account some douche set up for them back in the day that there's no benefit in printing emails.
Every time I explain IMAP to an old person it's like they've won Canasta that week
josefx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I tend to print anything that contains new account information, I had one harddrive die in my life and it was enough to make a mess of things.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Backups are a thing for that exact reason.
josefx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:21:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A paper copy is a form of backup. It helps that the amount of actually important information I have on my system fits well into a physical folder and is easy to reenter manually. Also avoids the problem of having a lightning strike fry the hardware - thankfully only lost several modems and routers to that.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:42:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything touching your computer should be plugged into a surge protector for that exact reason. Either way, a TB drive used for backup and then physically removed from the machine will work just fine, and it'll only cost $50. If paper backups work fine, then that's awesome, but for me I have several operating systems with a few hundred gigs that I need to back up =P
ChIck3n115 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:03 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Offsite backups, man. Crashplan, Carbonite, etc. Even if your house burns down and all your devices explode, you still have a backup copy of your data. By all means keep a paper copy (more redundancy never hurts), but it's so easy now to get an offsite automatic backup service. The crashplan free version can do automatic backups to a computer at someone else's house, so if you pair up with a friend/relative you won't even have to pay a monthly fee.
choicesarelimited1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:54:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
thats just being a hoarder.
uminyuq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:34:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the thing. My grandmother is ~60 right now, prints everything.
TriggeringEveryone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Name checks out.
jaubuchon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:03 on November 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See HRC's Maid
PWAERL ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:02:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom's has a decades old diary, containing every phone number she has ever had to record. We insisted on getting her a smart phone some years ago. But even today if she wants to call someone, she opens her diary, finds the number and punches it in. We are like "Mom, there is no need to do that". But she says, "Don't worry, I am fine".
Losing that diary would be a disaster, so I have copies.
yourmomlurks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are incredibly sweet.
KBubble ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:43:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ARGH!! Someone I work with does this with LITERALLY every email. If I send her an email asking her to do something she usually prints out two copies, one for her and one to bring over to my desk with the work once she's finished it. I sent you that email! I don't need to see a copy of it! If I wanted to see it I would just look in my sent items!! The worst part was that for about 3 months the printer on our floor has been broken, which means every time she wants to print something, she has to go to another floor. She probably gets around 30 emails a day, and it takes around 3 minutes to go to the printer on the floor above (and no, she wouldn't wait until she had a few and do them at the same time, she would do them immediately when they came in) which meant she probably spends about 1.5 hours of her 6 hour day going to and from the printer for NO REASON. She complains incessantly about how inconvenient it is that the printer is broken because she's 'forced' to keep going to the other printer. She's a temp and needless to say I don't think she'll be here for long.
OccasionalJerk ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:00:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is so much wasted paper I swear
HopermanTheManOfFeel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:01:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Any paper used in a way you don't like is wasted paper if you think about it. But really it's just "used paper".
OccasionalJerk ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:42:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
True, true. I'm a fan of using as little paper as possible so I guess it just irks me when people just start throwing paper around like it's nothing, Idk. Ain't even my business but it's still gonna bug me
TurboChewy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:26 on October 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not like a daily thing I bet. One filing cabinet of paper for all her stuff, max? And I doubt she throws any away. A lot of offices use more than that in a few weeks.
ConfusingDalek ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:00:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*deletes Jesus email*
mesalikes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:43:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my co-workers did that. I like to think of the mental vaults from the latest season of Sherlock.
She remembers ALL of her emails and knows where each and every one of them are. But she uses the physical version to reinforce the mental filing that she does.
Grandma's probably don't do the same thing, but it's a useful mnemonic device if used correctly.
soren121 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:30:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
P-Mail!
exusia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:54:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
your regular show reference did not go unnoticed<3
Hugo0076 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:25:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/forwardsfromgrandma
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She with the most records wins
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ManLeader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Which do you think
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nana was probably just a mole for an international drug cartel.
Kjellvb1979 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is crazy but there is something to be said about paper backups.
Zedding ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is why we have global warming.
Amphabian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If your grandma could do it, so could Clinton's office staff. L
rainbowsandreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least your grandma is sort of computer literate. My grandma only has a phone which makes it worse. I taught her about Siri and she literally could not figure out that you just hold the button and talk into your phone I think my grandmother might be an idiot
2059FF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I noticed that some older people have a hard time thinking of a picture of a button on a touch screen as a button. They are used to physical buttons always staying in the same place. Having part of a screen previously used for displaying a picture suddenly becoming active and clickable is jarring to them. The recent trend of making buttons look more abstract does not help things.
rainbowsandreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On my grandmother'x phone it is a physical button
random_life_of_doug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:27:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She should be hillarys secretary
AussieBird82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:16:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In 1994 when our department finally got lotus notes for email our network guy printed every single email he got and kept them in a binder. I aksed him about it and he said it was "just in case". I swear I'm not making that up.
maracusdesu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:30:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did she forward them in a letter to her loved ones?
bmxtiger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:23:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have so many senior customers like this. It never makes any sense to me.
Newbarbarian13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:24:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair my hotmail account wiped completely a few weeks ago for seemingly no reason, and could only recover about ten emails. I lost a bunch of reasonably important emails from my university and landlord, plus a few order confirmations and tracking information. Not fun.
Henkersjunge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:34:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Saving them in a folder isnt that bad of an idea. My e-mail provider deletes all emails that are older than 2 years by default. I think the premium service disables that feature.
EDIT: Wait, did you mean an actual physical folder?
Jesus-chan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. a paper folder in a cabinet
BAXterBEDford ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:54:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I kind of wish your grandma was Hillary Clinton's secretary.
Jesus-chan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me too
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I've considered doing this for important shit like any kind of receipt or appointment documentation etc. Just because my email gets so much stuff in it that it can be hard to find something important when you need it sometimes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Downvoted
jezdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandpa had facebook for a while, he used to screenshot the facebook news feed a lage at a time and print it off, in full color, for my grandma to read. Kinda awesome really.
dfnkt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a filter setup in gmail that if subject contains Fwd: or Forward it auto deletes. If someone really wants me to read something and they can't be bothered to clear up the title and remove all the:
+====++++++++
Out of the top of the email then I'm not wasting my time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
BUT WHAT IF JESUS RETURNS AND ISN"T SURE ABOUT WHETHER I LOVE HIM OR NOT!?
thedavidcarney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's going to want proof when the time comes
Jesus-chan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"See all these forwards, Jesus!"
"Yeah, but Sue, you were a racist bigot"
"And here's one with you dying on a cross"
"You literally want to murder Obama"
"And now you're riding on a donkey"
"Are you fucking listening to me!?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just like that Google April Fool's day joke
idiotssayyoloswag ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 23:09:16 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The company that I work for has a small team of around 5 people who print pdfs and rescan them to move the files to a different location. We tried telling them that they're wasting a lot of time and toner, but no one wants to listen. If you look at the amount of time wasted and the money spent on toner you'll be amazed just how dumb corporate can be at times.
galenwolf ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 09:31:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have you told the senior management about this? Im sure they could solve the issue when they find out how much that team is costing the company.
idiotssayyoloswag ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:29:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We have tried, but they are afraid of the changes. To be fair I simplified their job a bit, but that is essentially what they are doing. The only change that would happen is they would need to rename folders occasionally since we use a 3rd party scanning software to create and name folders.
To make matters worse 3 of these users print to personal HP printers which I think the cost per page is something around 2c-6c a page, despite having multiple large production size Ricoh printers under a no charge service contract that print at a fraction of a penny per page. To top it off, all 5 of them use personal scanners since it 'must be on their desk' that cost around $800 each meanwhile our Ricoh printer/scanners scan much faster and again are under a service contract without charge. Meanwhile one of our scanners broke a few weeks ago and we had to pony up another $800. Did I mention my company has been downsizing?
galenwolf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:36:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like you find somewhere to downsize.
karmagirl314 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:37:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Former Ricoh employee here. Can confirm that people are idiots when it comes to new processes and printing in general.
idiotssayyoloswag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The field techs we have had servicing our printers have been all sorts of odd balls. From Lazy, drunks, overweight to the point of disability, and just flat out nuts.
karmagirl314 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:47:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ricoh (and to be fair, it's competitors) simply doesn't pay enough to attract good help. It's also extremely difficult to get fired. I know of at least one incident where an employee punched his supervisor in the face and he was simply reassigned to another site. The only reason I worked there was because I graduated college in 2010, during the recession when no one was hiring full time without 10 years of experience.
redbluegreenyellow ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:18:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a job where the people would make fun of me for emailing things and not printing them out
stairmast0r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:06:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Came here to say that I used to work with a guy who would spend half of his days printing and rescanning hundred-page documents for years without anyone saying a word.
I think a dedicated team of 5 people beats that story.
ph33randloathing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:50:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At my last job it was routine to print things or to scan them in. I tried so hard to break that habit but the staff refused to learn anything new and the folks in charge didn't want to care.
-Mr-Jack- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:15:37 on August 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, the corporate job I had made this mandatory. You couldn't just save the damn reports directly, you needed to print them then scan them to save them, then folder the physical.
Then send the scanned reports to another office where they print them again.
Eventually forms were getting so deteriorated because rather than reprint the original file, people were scanning blanks, then scanning the new blanks, until the pages were faded and blurry.
timewontfly ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 02:25:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a reporter, and one of the towns I cover always does this. Or they'll type up a document in Word, print it out, then email me a scanned PDF of the printout.
Once they sent me a lengthy release they wanted in the paper. I said, no way in hell am I typing this out when it's clearly already a Word doc. I called and asked them to send me the original so I could just copy and paste it. They didn't know how ti do it. I had to talk then through how to attach a Word document to an email. This is the supervisor to a town of 60,000 people.
georgejoem ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:54:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This blows my mind. How can someone successfully attach an image file to an email, but not a text file? You have to be a special kind of stupid to not be able to do both considering they are the same thing.
timewontfly ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:09:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, they are a special kind of stupid, too.
DrTolley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:02 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ocr
HungryMoose1 ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 21:54:43 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That makes my head hurt
IHazMagics ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:31:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm still trying to think of why someone would want to do that.
havok0159 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:19:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's obvious, you don't want to send the original. What if you want to read it again some time?
IHazMagics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stoooooppppp can't can't can't can't can't can't5รฟรโY:รฉรญ$รฟยฝโdรรญร?โยค2ยตลgjยถtรปรญรโรโ8โEรร.Lรธ
_TheGreatDekuTree_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:11:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OP.exe is kill
IAmA_Risky_Click_AMA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:39:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps if you didn't want it to be editable and didn't have the tools to print to PDF?
IHazMagics ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:46:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But you can straight up save documents directly as PDF format, so again, I just want to know why someone would do that.
IAmA_Risky_Click_AMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That feature is not a global standard, but depends entirely on your software.
Anyway, I'm not saying it's bright, just that they may be doing something totally roundabout for a legitimate reason because they don't know a better solution.
1angrypanda ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:36:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not as bad, but still driving me insane.
I'm working with IT on a script for a training on information security.
This is how I get changes.
I asked her during a meeting why she did it this way, and let her know if she preferred hard copy she could just leave it on my desk. She said she didn't have a preference, so I asked her to please use track changes in word... She had no idea what I was taking about.
This woman is an IT manager for a fortune 250 company.
galenwolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:33:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you got her fired.
Carlyndra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wtf
dontbuymesilver ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:19:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, but to be fair, that person figured out how to scan something to their computer, then attach that scan to an email...
PeriodicGolden ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:45:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most office scanners have a "send as email" option
GryptpypeThynne ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:57:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The British passport office types letters on typewriters, scans them, and emails them to you
g3istbot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:23:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My personal favorite from working in IT -
Person takes a screen shot of the issue. Takes a picture of the screenshot (on her phone), uploads the picture to her computer, saves it, reformats it, sends it to me in a word document.
nixzero ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:12:23 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a place that had a similar process, and it was in document preservation!
We frequently had to take a huge docs, number them, and provide new numbered prints or scans.
Their old way was SO WASTEFUL! They hand-labeled the pages, and it was so easy to skip a number and bork the whole project. And you couldn't put labels on the originals, nor could you provide docs with labels, they had to be "burned in" so their process was:
1) Copy originals 2) Number copies with labels by hand 3) Check that no pages are out of sequence and fix accordingly. 4) Scan numbered copies. 5) Export and print.
My method was a bit faster.
1) Scan docs 2) Number electronically 3) Print and export.
Their process to convert an email to a PDF was to print and scan it, and sometimes they had to be numbered...
So- print emails, label them, check them, scan them, print them again. So many murdered trees...
RagingNerdaholic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:07:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a customer that sends me blurry-ass cell smartphone pictures error messages on the screen. With the flash on.
ThatMeanyMasterMissy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:39:23 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
gag
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:24 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A customer of mine did this last week. He is an IT professional.
Wayln ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:21:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Told my dad about this and he said "isn't that how you do it... that's how I do it".
outsdanding ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:31:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is like when someone sent me a screenshot of a typed list (that I wanted to copy and paste). I asked if she could send along the text file instead. She changed the extension of the .png to .doc and emailed me that.... I typed the damn list myself.
clendificent ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:51:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
MY BOSS DID THIS TODAY!!!!
klevenisms204 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:53:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've had to do that because the workplace didn't allow you to save to pdf.
The scanner scanned to pdf so it was kind of the only option at the time.
Berjj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:14:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked 1st line tech support I saw something similar. The user in question was dealing with an error message. She took a printscreen which she then pasted in a word doc, printed the doc, scanned it (At which point it appears in their email inbox as an attachment) and proceeded to forward it to service desk, wondering what was causing the error.
Conclusion: She didn't know how to add attachments to emails.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:34:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's... Glorious.
Sourisnoire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:52:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
... usually rotated by about 90 degrees.
estrogen42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:17:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We sometimes do that in law to remove metadata, but it still somehow infuriates me even though I know there is a purpose.
Xeogin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:17:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Accounting still does this where I work since they think a paper trail needs to be literally paper.
SteveJEO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:32:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A place i worked for has full time employees to do just that.
It turned out they do it because their regulations are retarded.
a) hardcopies must be kept of all official communication.
and the kicker.
b) only facsimiles or photocopys can be dispatched.
So basically any e-mail received needs to be turned into either a fax or photocopy before it can be passed on.
Slanderous ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:05:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have received this kind of thing from customers after asking them to send me a screen print. I guess technically they followed instructions.
WhistlerMcQueen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:11:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This
Happens all the time around our office.
The-waitress- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:14:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sub #3 with "fax scanned email to a new recipient" and we are one.
ManicPixieDreamGrl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:15:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I received one of these in an email once
clamroll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:18:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When buying the hotel/motel that my girlfriend and I own and operate, we asked the previous owner for her occupancy numbers, monthly, for the previous three years (a super common thing for innkeepers to keep, and a major selling point). She gave us such complaints and moans, which confused us, since despite her computer illiteracy she had an all digital, online reservation system.
Turns out she'd generate a two page pdf per month. Instead of hitting save, then emailing those, she hit print, then scanned the two black and white text pages in using 300dpi color photo settings, and save as bmp's. 36 months worth. 72+ oversized bitmaps.
Oh and the lack of tech knowledge meant she had a 500Kbps up/down line (cheapest twc offers in the mountains, still overpriced) so I can only imagine it took her dust encrusted compaq Presario days to upload them, regardless of how unwieldy the damn bmps were for our purposes.
Also, after we bought the place, she insisted several times that she had to bring her computer by (again, an ancient desktop) so she could check her email. Looked at me like I was telling her she could breathe underwater when I told her that's not how the internet works in the least
Shardik884 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:29:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man. Work in a pharmacy. We had a nurse at a nursing home:
1] type a letter. 2] print it. 3] fax it.
Contents of letter: "please send a technician to teach me how to use the fax machine."
The header had our maintenance technician's email addresses. It was obviously typed as a draft in Microsoft outlook.
mitcch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This clearly lacks a fax machine! (actually encountered that...)
craneguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had a boss like this. He would print every email and document he received to read and file. There were 4 of us in the office and he ordered a printer that would have served 200 users easily. He also had every receipt he'd ever been given since he left college... He was nearly 60.
apostasism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That happened to me with a coworker, but I was able to stop it before step 2
notacrook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just got a contact sheet from a 23 year old that was exactly sent like this. Outrageously annoying.
_vOv_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
so he knows how to print, scan, and email a picture, but doesn't know how to forward an email??
abefroman78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kid you not, husband's work does this ALL the time. It is literally part of their company's filling system. Reasoning: it's the way we've always done it.
Azzizzi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a guy ask me to scan a three-page document, but "Make sure you scan it double-sided." I look at it and all the backs are blank. I scan all three pages and email it to him. He prints it. It prints one-sided. He comes back and tells me I should have scanned it two-sided. I could not convince him that he needed to print it two-sided, not scan it two-sided.
miss__behaviour_2u ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have an employee who will print an attachment, scan it, and email that (with the doc-date-time filename now, not the nice descriptive filename the attachment had) to his co-workers with no subject and no explanation.
xeones906 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a co-worker that does this with everything, including 40 page pension commencement packets. Kills me every time because she complains how tedious it is -__-
supernes64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ex IT Helpdesk worker here - you'd be surprised how many people do this but with screenshots. At least once a week we would have someone print off a screenshot, scan the screenshot and then email the scanned image to us when we asked them to send screenshots of an error message.
econhistoryrules ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Two stories. 1) Famous octogenarian professor writes emails, sends them, prints them, and puts them in students' mailboxes with a signature. 2) Colleague writes homework solutions, prints them, then walks the printed copy to the library so a librarian can scan them and post them online.
boyohboyitsmytimeto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
.....
BJosephD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I sometimes print emails as a bitter employee with only one screen to work with. See how much money you save by not buying me a second monitor, I dare you.
rare_pig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That seems pretty literate to me. They knew how to email and scan and print. Impressive
Fromager ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma once got an email forward she thought was funny and that my mom would like, so she printed it out and faxed it to her.
Qender ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a summer job carrying paper from the printers to peoples desks at an insurance company.
Later they would carry these big print outs back to the printer room, and fax them.
I tried to tell them that they could send a fax directly from the computer using a service, and didn't need to print it first, to save time.
They told me they needed to do it this way to use a special service they had that made a PDF of the fax of the printouts, so they could send that PDF to themselves, to e-mail the PDFs to clients.
ravethebrave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think this wins
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The weird thing is, I fell like going through all that takes more computer know-how than just simply pressing the forward button.
Chicken_noodle_sui ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My step dad is in his 50s. Every time he sees an interesting article online about finances and money management he prints it off and puts it in folder to give to me and my partner the next time he sees us.
He knows how to email.
SgtBadManners ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is literally a process in my office. Blows my god damned mind.
They have the excuse of wanting a physical copy for backup since it is pay information, but still. We are supposed to be moving paperless for fucks sake. They could just let us send the file and stop printing the backup sooner. >.> Fuckers!
Habisky-SS13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of companies actually do this. Makes me cringe every time.
UnlikeMyself ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why oh why??
ritzyguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Rocking that inkjet like bamm
Dockirby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Please no, I actually got that today. End User got an error, put the full message in the text box and a screenshot in a word document. The word document got printed out, scanned back in, and emailed to us.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You win
666666t ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant xkcd
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a story I heard on A Mediocre Time recently lol
MrSynckt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My partner's work involves this process for logging overtime:
Log your overtime in a spreadsheet
At the end of the month, print out your spreadsheet
Hand your physical spreadsheet to manager
Manager then inputs everyone's overtime.. into a spreadsheet
Aliotroph ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I get asked to fix this on a fairly regular basis. A group will need to review or edit a doc and all they received was something awful like a low-res PDF of a crooked scan of a faxed printout. Once in a while OCR manages most of it, but I get to do a lot of retyping. Somehow it's easier to pay me to do this than get the authors to email the original.
Loki-L ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is normal.
If I had a penny for every time I saw someone use that particular workflow, I would have lots of pennies.
It usually happens because a user memorizes the particular steps to get from A to B without understanding exactly wht they are doing.
They know how the steps to send a printed document per mail involves scanning it and they know the steps to get s printed document from a word file involves printing it, so the 'obvious' solution to wanting to send a word document is to combine the two processes.
It is all just rote memorization without understanding what they are doing.
The real problem is that IT-workers often don't actually see the problem. They don't memorize particular workflows but the abstract ideas of what they are trying to do.
A it-illiterate worker will memorize that they have to click on the third symbol from the left if they want to print something, but a IT literate worker will just memorize that they have to print somehow. When a program changes the UI after an update the IT-competent person will only experience a small amount of disorientation as the print icon my have moved or changed pictures and there may be a new or changed dialogue popping up, but that is okay because it falls under the umbrella of the concept of printing. The IT-illiterate person who rote memorized all the steps will be lost.
The two will have trouble seeing eye to eye about that because for one the destination remains unchanged and you just have to walk in the general direction of it to reach it while for the other who memorized which floor tiles to step on to get there everything has changed.
User can get quite ingenuous with what they are doing. The actual things they do are black boxes to them. They only know what goes in and what goes out, but they can combine them in unexpected and hilarious ways that nobody else would ever think of.
This is how you end up with a ticket that contain a screenshot as an attachment that is actually a word file with an image pasted into it and with the image in extreme cases being black and white and grainy because at some point during its life-cycle it went though a faxmachine.
whtml ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That kind of reminds me of a publisher i used to do summer jobs at. Could have replaced an entire floor with a computer literate person.
broken189 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had something similar:
Printed email (containing URL) Manually typed in URL Misspelled URL and went to a porn site
ElCerebroDeLaBestia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:16:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum does this all the time.
thisisbelinda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:25:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The president regularly prints online articles and asks me to scan and email them to his colleagues.
Soul-Burn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:20:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My ex had her boss sending her a mail with a doc file attached and asked her to rename the file and send it back so it will have the new name in the attachment.
wikid_one ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:42:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Our HR department does this and it drives me crazy. Rather than sending me a link to a form to post on the website they send me a scanned copy of the form that they printed out from the link. Thankfully my boss agrees with me that it is completely amateurish and has my back when I refuse to post it until they send a proper link.
CeterumCenseo85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At my office:
1) Colleague asks me to email her a pdf file
2) Colleague prints out the pdf file
3) Colleague scans the printed out file
4) Colleaague saves it into the folder where I originally got the pdf file from
5) ???
6) PROFIT!
GildoFotzo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:03:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that is more common as you think. in my company we have the light version of adobe acrobat reader. you can rotate documents if they are scanned up side down - but you cannot save them rotated.
aaron552 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:31:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Always relevant (the wooden table is very important)
Jermine1269 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:39:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to me at work for 2 weeks. Then he'd come in with the printed email, put it on my desk, and say, "I just emailed this to you, thought you'd want a copy."... I kindly explained to the sender how to forward things :)
DarkangelUK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:48:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A guy at work would write everything up in Word, print it, then scan it to himself in PDF format then bin the print... I installed Acrobat Standard for him and also showed him how to print to PDF. I only noticed as I was sat near the printer for the day and he was up and down about 10x doing the same thing.
billyshakes1599 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:48:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, that seems quite computer literate to me. Scanners are no joke. Sounds more like they were just ignorant of the forward function.
2bass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My former boss would do this but with websites he wanted to share. Instead of emailing a link, he'd print the main page of the website, one page only, scan it and email it to himself, then attach it in a new email to myself/my coworker. It was mindboggling.
itsjaredlol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if this was the loan department at CitiBank. They asked me for a voided check so that I could just subscribe to auto-pay (they don't let you just do that online for some reason even though every other company lets you just use the same info that's on the bottom of the check for it). I sent them a voided check. Said VOID in big letters on it along with the account and routing number at the bottom. They sent me a photo copy of the check along with a letter to "Sorry we are not able to process your request, please send us a voided check." The next time they called that a payment was late I went full nuclear while apologizing because I knew it wasn't the agent's fault but it's still complete fucking utter bullshit. I just told them to expect late payments and they ended up giving me basically an infinite grace period because I refuse to get more voided checks when they're just going to ignore me.
Long__Dog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is pretty savvy if you think about it, user can print, scan, save file and attach it to an email...
letuswatchtvinpeace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boss does that sort of - he prints a contract then scans it and send it to me. To this day I cannot get him to stop and just send me the email or attach it to a new email
joanofbark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank god I thought I was the only person who worked with someone like this. She also prints things that she wants to order from Amazon.
godbois ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I routinely have clients who get text to me by typing in Word, printing, scanning and emailing the PDF/jpg to me.
shadowgattler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom?!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This will probably get lost amidst your other inboxes, but I've seen this happen in real life too. I thought it was something that we just joked about, not something that would happen in my lifetime..
CavalcadeOfFucks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had a lady do this to me at work :|
Maybebabyrabies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's adorable ๐
joshi38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is similar to people photocopying documents to fax because they don't want to fax their "only copy".
cakemix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in customer service. One customer received an email from me, forwarded it to himself (same email address) with his reply, printed it, and mailed it to me. In the MAIL.
stakoverflo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How the fuck does someone know how to do that but doesn't know what the Forward button is...
LPK1990 ยท 4507 points ยท Posted at 00:28:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was buying a DVD for my grandma off Amazon. She doesn't have the faintest idea what Amazon even is, so I've always said that if she lets me know what DVD she wants I'll buy it from my account for her.
Anyway, we get to check out and I let her know how much it is. She gets the money out of her bag, and then she starts measuring the size of the coins next to the USB and charging ports on the side of my laptop. After about 10 seconds of wondering what she was doing, she informs me she's looking for which hole to post the money into.
She legit thought you paid for items online by posting the money into one of the computer ports.
HighOnTacos ยท 2359 points ยท Posted at 02:57:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Probably a habit from the days of pay-as-you-go TVs. They actually had a coin slot in them, and a service man would come by monthly to collect the quarters.
EDIT : To everyone asking me if this is real... Yes, yes it is. I posted an article a couple comments down. Read and learn.
EDIT2: Woohoo, this comment pushed me over 20k comment karma. I should throw a party.
By the way, article here if you're interested. Though I think this article is in context of it being tested in the US, where it never caught on.
LPK1990 ยท 972 points ยท Posted at 03:06:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're absolutely right! I never realised this was a thing once upon a time, but she did have a TV exactly like that when my mom and her siblings were all children.
HighOnTacos ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 03:09:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The original vending machine. Also very easy to fool with a quarter on a string.
jochillin ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 07:59:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also washers, and the plugs that get knocked out of metal electrical boxes. Allegedly.
theobanger ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 12:09:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes....allegedly. *wink
beepbeepitsajeep ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:43:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ironically, or perhaps not, we call those plugs that get knocked out "knockouts".
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:12:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ShoalinStyle36 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:38:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Popcorn time - googles your friend- your welcome.
edit: K keep paying out the ass then.
Gmanfreak ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:54:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm aware of all the other places I can watch shows, but I pay so I can watch a specific TV program, including commercials that have a theme. I could watch the shows that they air anywhere, but the program is kinda like a community, and it just doesn't feel the same without all the little cool stuff they do. Thanks though!
ShoalinStyle36 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:22:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
advertisements are cool to you? alright man whatever floats your boat!
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 22:29:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ShoalinStyle36 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:31:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh, well, in this case, makes perfect sense. i too have many fond memories of that dude in the space suit selecting the next episode of Dragonball Z or Samurai Jack, good times, makes perfect sense.
Gmanfreak ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:42:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right? I definitely recommend it if you can find a way to watch (I use Sling, much cheaper than cable). The line-up is really good right now. Starts at 11:30 EST.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ShoalinStyle36 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
maybe to people with low reading comprehension google popcorn time and it will make sense...
meddlingbarista ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:02:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was aware that these existed in airports and bus stations, but I had no idea that people had them in their homes.
mako123456 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 05:12:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I learned something new today
HighOnTacos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:15:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just learned it a couple months ago from my brother in law, glad I could pass on a bit of knowledge!
eilah_tan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:09:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
actually, you learned something very old today. /r/showerthoughts
Blacksm1th ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:33:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wat...
What country is this?
HighOnTacos ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 05:38:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't imagine they exist anywhere anymore, except maybe some motels. I learned about it from my brother in law, who grew up in scotland.
Here's an interesting article on it if you want to know more.
Susannista ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:12:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is also coin operated pay-as-you go electricity in some Scottish apartments. I guess they didnt use to trust Scots with managing their own money. ....
__8ball__ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:30:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Prepayment meters are still widely used
speccynerd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:18:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was for poor people so they didn't split leaving large electricity bills behind them.
EndOfNight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here (Belgium), they will install one of those after your electricity gets cut.
Edit: I'm somewhat mis-remembering, it was for gas, not electricity.
caffeine_lights ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:34:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We have them for both in most of the UK.
Luke90210 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:26:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The last time I saw them was in JFK Airport (NYC) in the early 1970's. They were little black and white sets in front of chairs in the waiting areas.
speccynerd ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:17:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember poor people having them in the UK in the 1980s. It was to help pay for the TV license which every TV owner must have (which funds the BBC).
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:48:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, they'd have been renting the TV rather than owning their own.
unclefisty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:08:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Which spawned the incredibly Orwellian TV Licensing Authority.
BrownFedora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The airport and bus stations around my area had these thru the 80's.
killingit12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:42:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My best mate had one of these TV's up until maybe ten years ago.
are_you_nucking_futs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:55:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
These things aren't gone, people still use them for things like electricity so they don't rack up debt / only pay for what they need.
lurgi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:23:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. An actual TIL. Thank you, good sir.
DSdavidDS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:01:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember this! Can't believe I forgot about this!
xdeadzx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:14:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Edit the link into this command cause the other is buried pretty deep. Doesn't show up on the first 10 on mobile.
Simicrop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:03:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's bananas.
Zdrastvutye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, they were a thing and we had them over here in the UK too, in the 60s and 70s.
Mithster18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Besn
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL
ShizukaNaHaji ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I live in the UK and had a rented TV from 88-94. Couple of quid a week and the guy would empty monthly when we moved house he just came and removed TV. It was also a good saving device, was something like ยฃ10p/m to rent but if there was any extra money you got it back :)
TheKoi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
and people used to pay for electricity that way too.mostly in apartment buildings.
SSJNinjaMonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They still have these now. I know someone who has a TV and a washing machine on it.
pbzeppelin1977 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is a thing in the UK too where due to, well, just being such a shit fuck you can't be trusted to pay the TV licence, you have a box you top up with ยฃ1 coins to watch TV and every so often some official persons I'll empty it.
karmagirl314 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL not to be so judgmental of old people being stupid around technology, because maybe there's a good excuse for it.
terandir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup this is real, we used to have this when I was a kid. It's how my mum and dad paid for their TV. Box on the top you put pound coins in, the pound gave you a preset amount of hours to watch the TV, then every month a guy comes and empties it.
trikxxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:23 on September 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I realize this is a month old & thus there is good chance u won't even read this...When I was in h.s. (1958), one of our 'safe' places to cut classes (safe from truant officers) was the Greyhound station. It was fairly large, 2 stories, had a cafeteria/diner, and in the main passenger area aboult half of the seats had those t.v.s - I think it was like a quarter/15 min. At the time we (I) thought it was the coolest thing & spent my lunch money many times to watch who knows what. You're the only person I have come across that knows about these, & I kinda got a bit excited. btw this was in the US, SoCal, specifically.
HighOnTacos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:06 on September 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty great. And I really just learned the tidbit from my sisters boyfriend - I've never seen one in person.
High-Priest-of-Helix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Please tell me you're shitting me
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is the where Nickelodeon came from?
Lowbacca1977 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:45:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, Nickelodeons are older, going back to film: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nickelodeon_(movie_theater)
Initially theatres, but I've heard the term used to refer to other things that weren't full theatres, but that's of debate. Disneyland used to have something called a nickelodeon that was like a player piano but with a lot more to it, along the lines of some of the stuff here: http://www.revelstokenickelodeon.com/museum.html
BrownFedora ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:36:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember seeing some TVs like that at airports and bus stations in the 80's but never home model.
aggrocragal ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:35:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a thing?
thatJainaGirl ยท 648 points ยท Posted at 04:49:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad has a similar one: we live in Pennsylvania, my uncle moved to Kentucky about a decade ago. Once per year, we drive down to visit him and his family. Last year, while visiting the Kentucky crowd, my dad decides to tell my uncle about this awesome new store that just opened in Pennsylvania, where you can pick out items on your phone and they deliver them to your house. It's called Amazon!
We informed him that
Amazon is available nationwide
You order on their website, not over the phone
Amazon has been around for over a decade
[deleted] ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 10:02:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's worldwide, not just US.
Yanman_be ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 13:49:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The rest of the world doesn't really count. MURICA
DavenIchinumi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:04 on August 25, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean they only take creditcards, so yeah, basically.
morriscey ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 14:00:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
It's "worldwide" in that there are a bunch of different amazon sites. It is isn't really worldwide as
every single onemany of them pale in comparison to amazon US.caffeine_lights ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:35:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really? What makes US amazon so much better? <intrigued>
706017 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 14:41:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would guess that there are more products available
basyin ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 14:47:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mostly the fact that there is just so much more variety on Amazon US, and unless you are looking for something obscure (and sometimes even if you are) chances are it qualifies for 2 day shipping, sometimes even 1 day. You won't really notice it though if you've never had it though because for the most part you don't need that extra choice. I moved from the US to Germany and while Amazon here is still great, it just isn't the same. Doesn't stop anyone here though from thinking it's the bees knees.
Also 2 hour alcohol delivery can be a life saver if you're throwing a party, but that is only available in limited regions.
caffeine_lights ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:51:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm I suppose. I get the impression that the German and UK ones are better than many of the smaller ones, and these are the ones I've used.
I never really used next day shipping before we had Prime and never really found the 2-3 day "super saver delivery" to be a problem. In any case, you could always pay extra for next day if you wanted it.
morriscey ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 14:41:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
well I have amazon prime (canada) - compared to amazon (prime) US
I'm not 100% sure about the kindle rentals, but I've never looked into it. Then you get down to the most important thing - the product selection. Amazon US has a MUCH wider array of products - and after converting currencies, they tend to be between 10% and 50% LESS than the CA counterpart.
Kieraggle ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 14:56:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We get all those things on UK Prime. And we even get 1- and 2-hour shipping in my city. 2-hour is free, 1-hour costs like ยฃ6
morriscey ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:00:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That doesn't change my experience with Amazon Canada, friend.
Kieraggle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:11:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's true, mate
NightmareUSA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:50:27 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Im kinda late but we have that here in the US too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
1 hour delivery?! I thought next day delivery was good :(.
Kieraggle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:35:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Advantage of Amazon placing one of their major distribution centres for the country next to my city :)
caffeine_lights ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:48:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure that we have all of these things in Germany too. Possibly UK but I left before all the streaming became mainstream, so I don't really know.
More selection definitely makes sense. But I wouldn't really call that paling into insignificance.
morriscey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yeah looks like .de has the benefits I listed, except the 20% off games.
who said "insignificance"? I said it pales in comparison to the US service (which it does) - not that it was a bad or insignificant. I still buy crap all the time off of amazon
caffeine_lights ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, sorry, when I wrote that comment I could no longer see the previous one so I paraphrased.
hugglesthemerciless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for posting, was thinking about getting amazon prime in Canada. Do you still get the amazon video streaming service at least? (i want it since the "new" top gear will be on it)
morriscey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
nope. no video, no music, no preorder discount.
hugglesthemerciless ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:03:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lovely. guess I'm forced to pirate
dantemirror ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:03:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
From experience, the Mexico version is very limited. The Books section is quite big and the price is really good for importing things, but clothing, toys, tech, they are all lacking a lot of stuff from the amazon US store or are quite expensive to import.
Some of the amazon US providers will ship to Mexico and other countries, but the delivery prices increases hugely depending on the item. what costs 5 bucks to deliver to any state ( or is free with a high enough purchase) in the US becomes 20-50 dollars to deliver to Mexico, like we were all the way down in Asia and not the next door country...
AuroraHalsey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lot, lot more products.
I have to use a US friend as a conduit to get quite a few products to the UK.
MyNameSeemsToBeTaken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well Amazon in the Netherlands is just an online e-bookstore, that is it.
So compare that to what you can get in the USA on Amazon....
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL, there are different amazon sites. I never use amazon as I hugely prefer my countries equivalent. It used to be the case that you could order from the US site and get international delivery, it only took ages for things to arrive.
We have bol.com which may or may not live up to the standards of Amazon US. It offers next day delivery on most products and it has almost all products I can think off.
thatJainaGirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:11:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I didn't say worldwide because I'm pretty sure there's no Amazon Tanzania or something along those lines.
ValuePick ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:53:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There it is reddit! Your daily reminder that the rest of the world is so relevant that Americans need to be reminded it exists!
/s
Mildly-disturbing ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 06:32:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wel, to be fair you can order using a phone if it is a smartphone.
[deleted] ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 06:49:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Coffeezilla ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:42:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
1997 or so unless I'm forgetting employee orientation.
cowbutt6 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:20:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They IPOed in 1997. They were founded in 1994:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_Amazon.com
Pantsaretoolong ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 08:50:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My 47 yr old dad thought Facebook was an Australian Uni website, and this was only recent too.
relevantusername- ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 09:44:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Until I was 12 I was convinced Eminem was Irish. Because I'm Irish. It just didn't occur to me that he wouldn't be.
Stevey854 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 10:19:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eh. I've met 20 year old Irish folk who assumed I was Catholic, because I was white so why wouldn't I be?
thisshortenough ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 10:20:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've met American's who assume they're Irish because they're white so why wouldn't they be?
cspruce89 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:14:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a White-Catholic-American with an Irish name.... have we all met before?
Stevey854 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:32:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kek
Lonely_Kobold ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:42:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is this because House of Pain were Irish and therefore all white rappers must be Irish?
relevantusername- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:32:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, I just had a very insular world view. I've never actually heard of House of Pain.
Lonely_Kobold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was their most popular song, at least here in the states
relevantusername- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit, I had no idea that was by an Irish band! That's pretty cool. Thanks for the link.
resolva5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:00:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is started and made for university students from what i know. So it's not that stupid actually.
rezheisenberg2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not Australians ones though
GiantDuarf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:01 on September 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought 47 year olds were the core demographic of Facebook.
Huwbacca ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:42:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I signed up for Facebook back when you needed an academic email to do so.
Coffeezilla ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:41:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can order over the phone on amazon, and fun fact one of the call centers taking the call is in Winchester, KY.
CodeWithClass ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:55:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
2 out of your 3 points are incorrect. You're almost as bad as your dad.
thatJainaGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Which ones? They're all accurate.
Lonely_Kobold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good ole PA
firemastrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mail order catalogs have been around for 150 years, and as soon as the telephone was invented you could order using that was as well.
pleasehelpssll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:57 on August 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
His reaction ?
hgfdsgvh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:49 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's adorable haha
jmon3 ยท 300 points ยท Posted at 00:32:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We have a winner.
masshole4life ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 04:24:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I โค the elderly. They are the only ones for whom I truly had patience when I did isp tech support. They have so much fear about technology and who they can trust to help them that they end up winging it and getting even more confused.
Poor adorable old folks. They earned the right to not be afraid. Good on the decent people who help them out with this stuff instead of taking advantage.
FuckKarmaAndFuckYou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:47 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
they fuckin' fought in wars! WARS!
coinpile ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:56:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's like the logic of a 5 year old trying to figure out how the world works.
BigBankHank ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:33:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When the telegraph became widely available back in the 1800s there was a prevailing wonder and exuberance about science and confidence that it would solve all humanity's problems.
The time involved in making technology like the telegraph indistinguishable from magic was basically zero among many people...) Famously many people went to the telegraph office with some object, wanting to teleport it to someone far away. The one I remember was a lady wanted to send hot sausages to her son/grandson serving overseas.
That one in particular might be apocryphal but it's not hard to believe.
LexxiiConn ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:16:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But she could use dvds??????
LPK1990 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:03:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She's not able to set up a DVD player out of the box, but she can somewhat confidently put a DVD in and set the TV to the correct output. It has taken quite a bit of going over it though! :) I suspect a big help has been that VHS players and DVD players have a similar way of operating, and the differences between them are things that can be explained in layman terms. The same can't really be said for the difference between shopping at a physical location and shopping online, so it all just completely goes over her head.
Unfortunately, helping her learn how to use a computer is a complete non-starter, as she doesn't have an internet connection or a computer device at her house and is happy without it. There's lots of people in the family who would be happy to take all the time she needs to get used to using one, but the interest just isn't there which is fair enough.
bigderivative ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:40:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking /thread
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:38:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh jesus...oh god...I just had a flash back...(Ha!) My mother...the first time we watched a DVD on our brand new DVD player. When the movie was over she walked over to the machine and searched for the rewind button!
MrNerd82 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:33:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a kid I had an Apple IIc, my sister, younger and not too bright.... used to think the 5.25" diskette drives were garages for matchbox cars. facepalm
Luckily tose things were built like tanks and if you fished the cars out everything worked just fine.
Eon-Man ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had something similar happen to me with a friend of mine, but he was my age. We were buying tickets to a concert on my desktop, and he got to the "payment" screen. Dude got out his wallet, pulled some bills out, and proceeded to try and jam some money into my old floppy drive.
islandfaraway ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:18:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is adorable!
Buss1000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:14:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Does she not know about credit cards?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:01:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like grandmas.
egoloquitur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:02:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I badly want this to be true...but it seems just.....too stupid. I mean holy shit...
joker38 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:15:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Take a look at the TV story from one of the top comments on the same level as your comment.
thecheat420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If your grandma is old enough this could be endearing.
infamemob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That would be a reliable idea.
cogra23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:35:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it came off your phone bill.
Dolphin_Titties ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This kills the computer. And possibly the grandma.
BadgerUltimatum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did something similar at a fair.
The "clowns that eat ping pong balls and drop them into a random number slot" stand was unattended. I was around 5 and took the money I had been given and shoved it into the mouth of the clown.
The carnie wasn't too pleased about me disabling one of his clowns but did still let me play.
Luhood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, what else? I mean fine, post-order bills and all, but unless you know things about credit-card payments and such its actually a pretty simple mistake to make. I mean you have to pay somehow!
C477um04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've spent a long time browsing /r/talesfromtechsupport and this is still the best story I've read.
TheOrder212 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:08:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is actually kinda adorable.
tj_haine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:25:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's really sweet. I hope you gave her a hug for that one.
daemon7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You had your grandma pay for the DVD? Did you or did you not take her coins?
CherryWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually so cute it hurts.
aytchdave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny to me that as advanced as we are in some ways with tech, old people's expectations are in their own way far more advanced than what we've got. I can literally talk to my house and make it do shit but still gotta send packages on a planes, trains, and automobiles.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me of last christmas. My dad wanted to get my daughter a present but wanted me to pick it out along with a present for myself.
I go to his house, pull up amazon, find daughters present, put it in the cart, pull up coats (my present) and hear my dad say "you can get coats on there too?!?!"
I asked him what he thought amazon was and he said computers and toys. I told him you can even order groceries on amazon and he was amazed. He's only 56 and has the latest smartphones and computers and figures out stuff like Google maps, but can't figure out amazon or how to use things like Facebook and Hulu. It's very confusing.
MasterDenton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, to be fair, I did something like this when I was a wee lad. When I was 9 years old and the Wii was first coming out, I saw the Wii points cards that were sale and saw the door on the front of the Wii (you know, the door that covers the SD card slot and the sync button) and had convinced myself that you stick the cards in there and the Wii would eat them and give you the points. I was, needless to say, very disappointed when I got my hands on the system.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma (93 bless her) can't even turn on her DVD player, but is at least aware of the basics of how online shopping works.
Amazon is just like any other mail order catalogue service, which have been around the better part of a century. What did your gran used to do if she wanted something from the Sears book?
draemscat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's how I thought buying stuff on the Internet worked when I was 6. The only thing I couldn't figure out is which hole the stuff you ordered was supposed to come from.
plop0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:43 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that's so cute!
gui69gui69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:37 on August 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am starting to think that a lot of the problems I've read about on this thread all derive from the same original problem:
The inability (wether it be by will or not) to admit that you do not know what you're dealing with.
Pithulu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's so cute
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Omg this is so damn cute!
moc_moc_a_moc ยท 2046 points ยท Posted at 19:26:08 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a college. Teachers are not always the most tech-savvy of individuals, but while I was helping one of them once I noticed that she was using the mouse with the 'tail'... pointed towards her.
I was so WTF'd trying to get my head around how this had come about and why it didn't occur to her to turn it around (the buttons were under her palm and she had to curl her fingers in to press them, let alone the fact that with that arrangement left is right and down is up) that I couldn't find the words to bring it up.
4_jacks ยท 801 points ยท Posted at 19:47:50 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's all about that inverted Y axis! Can't live without it!
Waluigi_Pope ยท 409 points ยท Posted at 20:36:56 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The only time I invert my Y-axis is when games have me fly a plane, because it feels more natural to do that. All other times, I have it set to regular.
Shazamwiches ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 23:22:01 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still don't get it, we all invert Y axis if we fly a plane, but why do we do it?
lrrlrr ยท 129 points ยท Posted at 00:01:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats how airplane controls are. Forward pushes the nose down, backwards pulls the nose up.
alonelygrapefruit ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 00:40:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes but why is that so intuitive for people who have never even seen plane controls let alone used them.
[deleted] ยท 165 points ยท Posted at 01:36:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you lean forward you look down. When you lean back, you look up. It's not a mystery.
easy_being_green ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 02:30:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How is that different from looking up/down? If I tilt my head back, I look up. And yet I don't invert my axis as an infantry.
SpyJuz ยท 209 points ยท Posted at 07:34:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "Airplane Support, how can I help you?"
Them: "I'm unable to go up in my plane"
Me: "What direction are you pulling the stick?"
Them: "SIR, I am NOT a PLANE person so I don't know."
Me: "What kind of plane are you driving?"
Them: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A PLANE PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"
EmporioIvankov ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 08:02:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The pasta... Al dente.
proximity_account ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 09:55:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Glad this meme is taking off
Ezmar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's already getting misused, though. People are missing the basic point which is to have the support guy's questions become MORE basic as the conversation goes on.
This one goes from "which direction are you pulling the stick" to "what kind of plane". It should really be the other way around, despite the fact that the original final question was "what browser".
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 02:39:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you fly your whole body moves.
MyIQis76 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 03:42:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Confusion
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:28:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Learned retardedness
DIDNT_READ_YOUR_SHIT ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:35:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
itt: fuckin retards
NGMCR ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:48:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://static.giantbomb.com/uploads/original/0/8387/2536706-4664840603-2XbRM.jpg
some people just feel more comfortable/natural by correlating the control to the back of the head rather than the front.
maveric101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:02 on November 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a very good argument, IMO, since even inverted people don't flip the x axis as they should according to that diagram.
Carl_GordonJenkins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do. Inverted since Goldeneye. Inverted for life.
Benterprise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine yourself standing on a ball. If you want to look down, you walk forward. Up, you walk backward.
We don't do this when walking, but flying is like riding on a big ball. I have actually heard flying a helicopter described exactly like this, in fact, by the instructor.
r4r4me ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:34:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend plays console games inverted and says he imagines the thumb stick stuck to the back of the character's head.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:43:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's not intuitive because that's how plane controls work; both planes and games control that way because it's intuitive to the way you move in flight
NotThtPatrickStewart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:50:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"because it's intuitive to the way you move in flight"
That can't be right...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:56:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why?
NotThtPatrickStewart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because intuition suggest an innate sense, something that we've evolved to have. We've never flown, so we can't have 'flying intuition'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That would be a fine argument, were that a correct definition of intuitive. It isn't.
When you fly down, your body tips forward, hence you push the stick forward. When you fly up you tip back, hence you pull the stick back. We are aware, even while playing a video game, that that's would would be happening to us were we flying, without consciously thinking about it, so we design our controls in the way that makes sense.
NotThtPatrickStewart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But then everyone would invert any game that was POV. We tilt forward to look down when we are standing, as well, and yet most people don't invert controls for non-flying games.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:17:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We don't tilt out whole bodies though, just our heads. And since a POV camera is literally just a camera and doesn't really resemble our motion that much...
NotThtPatrickStewart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I suppose I can see that! Would be interesting to do a study on all this that included people who had never played video games of any kind, etc and see what ended up being intuitive for everyone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Difficult enough to put together, but it would be pretty interesting.
Personally I only invert in flight and anywhere else it just feels backwards
NotThtPatrickStewart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, same. Just wonder if that's learned from playing 2D games or not?
hamaburger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dont ever invert my y axis but its always been intuitive for me tbh. Same with backing up.
indigo121 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably because the controls aren't actually up/down left/right. We hold controllers horizontally so the controls are forward/backward left/right.
working878787 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ya, but a lot of people played Captain Skyhawk and Starfox 64 back in the day. That's why I have to play inverted
Shinhan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:00 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because you are not pushing the airplane on a flat plane, you are rotating him around the axis, upward or downward.
karankshah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:12 on October 14, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even if people aren't familiar with plane controls, they likely have an idea about whether they want the plane to be pointed up or down.
SvenViking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:37:53 on January 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know this is old, but just a suggestion: When controlling a plane, moving the mouse left/right controls roll rather than panning the camera. This could have something to do with how people think about the relation between the mouse movement and the result.
(I'd also guess many people may have been influenced by playing a flight sim in the past or even just seeing "Pull up! Pull up!" scenes in films.)
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:25:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never invert y-axis. I don't know how people get used to it.
Knofbath ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:15:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you always play with inverted y-axis, it becomes the new normal for you.
regulate213 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:36:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Think of your head. To look down, you push your head forward, to look up, you pull your head back. Now, the stick is your head.
Rybis ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:26:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But then why do most people not like that in FPS games where that analogy would make even more sense.
Triassic_Bark ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:21:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because it FPS games you're not intuitively controlling the head of your character, at least I have never thought of it that way. I push down to look down, up to look up. But in a plane you push forward to nose down and back to nose up. I don't even think of them in the same terms (up vs forward, down vs back).
josh_the_misanthrope ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:59:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an inverter in FPS if playing on a console, which is rarely because I aint no console pleb.
CodeMonkey1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:19:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In FPS games you are not controlling your character's head, you are pointing the gun sights at targets, in the exact same way you point a mouse cursor at things on your desktop.
In flight games, the mouse's Y-axis maps to rotation about the plane's X-axis. Your frame of reference is intuitively above the axis, and so forward motion translates into a downward rotation, while backward motion translates into an upward rotation.
Ezmar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You could see it as aiming it like a vehicle, though, since changing your aim changes where you move.
I recently played halo for the first time in half a decade, and while walking around with inverted controls felt awkward at first, there was no doubt that my muscle memory defaulted to inverted for aiming. It's probably some weird brain thing.
cman_yall ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:12:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because most people are weird.
Ezmar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never invert my mouse, but I've always inverted my stick on a controller.
My guess is it's down to the mental frame of reference. I think of an fps as sort of piloting my dude, rather than as walking around and moving a cross hair, which would make more sense to be un-inverted.
Alix1723 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:17:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To look right, you push left? This analogy is flimsy and breaks down when you apply it to FPS controls
DoxBox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:32:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What you're doing with the mouse is controlling the level of the plane. Same as a joystick, except instead of a stick it's a mouse and instead of tilting it you're moving it.
Basically, what happens at the bottom of a joystick is what happens to the aircraft. If the joystick is pulled back, the bottom of the stick is tilting down at the back and up at the front. For a plane this is perfect. It's like you're controlling which plane the aircraft is flying on. Pull back on the stick, and that tilting up at the front happens to the plane itself.
It's really not even inverted Y for flight simulators, that's the right way up for them. You're not controlling your view, you're controlling the plane.
Azkik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't, never understood it. Yet for the first 6 months I played Halo, I played inverted...
Lobanium ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:54:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because pushing forward pitches down. That's how planes work. That's how FPSs work.
eyusmaximus ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:13:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then with RTS games I invert X axis.
Yes. I know. I am literally Hitler.
moc_moc_a_moc ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:08:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You wish. Hitler would've asked you for tips.
ferrousferret28 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:45:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I cannot wrap my brain around this. How is this intuitive?
corut ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:27:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's like moving the map around the cursor, not the cursor around the map
ferrousferret28 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:18:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks. I can kind of understand it now, but I still would rather user directional buttons of some kind
eyusmaximus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm talking about 3D RTSs. I move the camera the opposite way I move the cursor. I still use directional buttons.
bilky_t ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:54:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now I'm even more confused. RTS, as in real time strategy, as in top-down view of a landscape with buildings and people that kill each other?
eyusmaximus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No. RTS like Sins of a Solar Empire. Not Civ.
bilky_t ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol I think you mean to say "Yes".
Sins is a 4X that plays similarly to a traditional RTS (top-down). Civ is a turn-based strategy, but it does have the same top-down perspective we're talking about.
Quick question, do you invert both axes or just the horizontal plane?
eyusmaximus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just horizontal. But if you play Sins top down, you won't use the X axis or Y axis since that's for moving the camera sideways or down/up.
bilky_t ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I really need to play this game. And not just so I can understand what's going on here =P It looks really, really good and I've heard so much about it.
eyusmaximus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:16:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion is on sale for ยฃ8 on Steam.
jaytrade21 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:21:20 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do it on first person shooters with a gamepad. but yes, also flying for any input device.
Crixomix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:37:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's legit not too hard to learn one way or the other. I remember my dad was all inverted for years, which is what I learned to game with. Then learning as time went on that fps games didn't have inverted controls, I kept playing with regular, you get used to it in a week or two.
I play fps with only regular, but flying I can do either inverted or regular, it depends on whether it's first person or third person. Third person flying I prefer inverted.
ShadowCat946 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:07:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend plays games professionally using inverted mouse and I just cannot comprehend it. I've played on his computer a few times and honestly it is so odd.
Tromboneofsteel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:08:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason, I only use inverted Y in flying games... and Metal Gear 3. I have no idea why.
Tridian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:14 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You fly planes with keyboard and mouse? You madman!
GLOOTS_OF_PEACE ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:49:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
first person shooters too. All you cunts who don't invert the controls, i don't understand what the fuck is wrong with you...savages...
ErikWolfe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:35:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do the same thing, except for War Thunder, that stays normal. The weird thing is that whenever I use a controller I invert that...
KidFromTheHills ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:52:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had inverted y axis in all my fps's then when halo 2 came out I figured I'd get with the program. Fucked me up for awhile.
bmxtiger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:33:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It depends how you think spatially. If you imagine a stick stuck to the front of a person's head and you could grab it and move it around, that's normal y axis. If you think of the stick on the back of their head, that's inverted y axis.
SuperMadBro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Casual
FSDLAXATL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I inverted the axis and used to use all kinds of flight simulators for years when I was younger. Learned to hang glide last year and it totally messed me up because I always had to think about it. In hang gliding you pull on the bar to go down and push to go up, opposite of what I learned. Gave my instructor and myself quite a scare sometimes.
MD83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:06:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I play shooters like this. On a whim, i decided to see how hard it would be to get used to inverted y mouse at all times. Surprisingly easy if you're already used to invert mouse in things like flight or shooters. For like 1-2 minutes you cant do anything and then it just clicks and youre almost natural.
Lastshadow94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend plays everything with Y-axis inverted and it's weird.
EndlessIntermission ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Anything first-person for me. Can't play otherwise.
coolkid1717 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I only invert Y if I have a joystick. For a mouse I keep everything the same.
kasdanasal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you've ever flown an actual plane, that's exactly how the controls work too. Forward is down, backward is up.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 01:24:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Except in this position, X is also inverted.
4_jacks ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:14:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
INVERT Y AXIS! AT ANY COST!
GreatBabu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:53:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Up will become down, left will become right, cats and dogs will get together.. it'll be mayhem! MAYHEM!!!!!!!!!
EnkoNeko ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:09:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To all the people that just turned their mouse around - you can turn it back now
rand0mm0nster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:49:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Went to a service call once to an old lady whose mouse wasn't working properly. She had just purchased a new wireless mouse and was wondering why it was working back to front. I just turned it around for her and billed her the $150
trapper2530 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:21:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Playing secret weapons over Normandy made me permanently switch to inverted y axis. It was the only game I played for like 6 months. Went back to a first/third person game and couldn't "remember" the controls.
4_jacks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly don't know where I picked up inverted Y. But it makes sense to me, because I think of the mouse on a horizontal plane (Table) and I think of the motions like turning my head. I tilt my head FORWARD, I look down. I tilt my head BACKWARDS, I look up.
Started playing /r/archeage in 2014 an they had no invert Y option at the time (Korean Game) I spent months running around staring at the sky or the ground. They finally added an invert Y option, but I've finally become accustomed to non-inverted Y.
coolkid1717 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The X axis would be inverted too.
DerpingtonHerpsworth ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 03:10:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in the 90s I had a friend who's family just bought their first computer. It got used a lot between all the family members and us kids running around after school. Someone in the family got the idea that the mouse should be oriented like that (upside down), and it just spread through the family of 4 that way. They also happened to be some rather bossy people, so they would insist you use it that way too because "you're doing it wrong".
You'd be surprised how quickly you can catch on and learn how to use a mouse both ways. Also helped that it was a Mac with one button on the mouse, so clicking by pressing down with your palm wasn't that difficult.
eekstatic ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:48:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is like fast-tracking your inevitable mouse-induced carpal tunnel syndrome.
DerpingtonHerpsworth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's probably the truth, but I dealt with it for about a year until they realized they were wrong.
throwaway08255 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 00:36:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked with a user in the school system who was spatially dyslexic, and had to operate his mouse like that. Whenever I walked into a lab, I could tell when he had left since a machine near the back would have a mouse turned around.
Trickey05 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:44:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Left is right. Up is down. CATS AND DOGS, LIVING TOGETHER!
shardikprime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's madness I'm telling you
aggrocragal ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:39:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had a customer that I was showing products to on a regular computer continually say the opposite direction. If she wanted me to scroll down on the computer she would say "no go up!" It wasn't until I saw her swipe upwards to go down on her iPhone screen that it clicked. Was a serious mind fuck but I guess everything is perspective.
Alechilles ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:15:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was so bored at my old job that I actually tried doing this for a whole day once. After a couple minutes it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. It's still completely unreasonable and you're way better off using it the way it was intended to be used, but yeah just thought I'd mention my adventures of boredom.
EatMaCookies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:41:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually knew a guy in HighSchool who used the mouse like this, and could easily move and click the right way despite the mouses cord facing up/north/back to front whatever you call it.
oldark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:51:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't so bad if you're right handed. You can click with the pad under your pinky finger and curl your thumb in for the right click.
nancydrewskillz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:53:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just tried that to reply to this comment...don't even bother. My blood pressure level shot up in 10 seconds.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a boss that does that. He's an old dude. He's well aware of how normal people do it, he just... prefers it backwards
StevenM86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:51:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A teacher in my high school did this. I had to help draw something in Paint and had to correct the mouse. It was because the cable in the back of the PC was tangled and the mouse couldn't move too well. I fixed it and the teacher was astounded and couldn't understand how.
cornelius_muffins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:01:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
English teacher I had a couple years ago did this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boss does this! He is dyslexic though, so I'm pretty sure it's easier for him that way.
EmperorJake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle has always held the mouse this way, still does.
gniltawS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I experienced the same situation at a small college. Just change the "she" to a "he" and add in that he could not figure out why the mouse was acting differently today.
cumberger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck my mom does that
NickeKass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe her parents bought her a dreamcast when she was a kid.
dramboxf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On the original Nintendo there was a cartridge that was basically MS Paint. My wife rented this cartridge and a mouse from some store that rented games and brought it home for our son.
HE found her "playing" this game holding the mouse upside down in her hand and using it like a trackball. She would click the buttons with the fingers holding the mouse.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Other-worldly stupid.
AwesomeScreenName ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The first time I saw a mouse, back in the 80s, I thought it was a trackball, similar to the ones on arcade games like Centipede or Crystal Castles. So I held the mouse upside down. It did not work very well.
srcarruth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:42 on September 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my dad holds the mouse so he can use his thumb to click. it's weird but I can't think of any reason why not. it's how a real man clutches his mouse, I expect.
I_Will_HM1_You ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 19:59:07 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey! I do that and i'm relatively tech savvy...
moc_moc_a_moc ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:03:27 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can you explain?
I_Will_HM1_You ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:35:22 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My father taught me from a young age that that's the way he used it, can't use it the ''right'' way, really. He misinterpreted the mouse, I am just a byproduct, and so is the rest of my family. I also just find it to be more comfortable to hold my mouse this way so i don't really care for changing my ways.
tman_elite ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:30:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How do you click? Do you push down with the sides of your palm? Or do you just hold the very tip of the mouse with your fingers when moving it around?
I_Will_HM1_You ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:38:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The latter
Selfiemachine69 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:41:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This alone means you are not tech savvy, especially if you won't "learn" to use it the correct way.
I_Will_HM1_You ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:55:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
alright, guess i'm not.
Plasma_000 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:03:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf.
The_EggBOT_Bop ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A mouses tail is at the back
yokayla ยท 6122 points ยท Posted at 20:20:24 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At a shop I help out at, a group of panicked older women (55+) recruited me to 'fix the computer'. They were panicked about it being broken and missing important work emails from head office, and please you're young, fix it! I'm tech-savvy but no expert, so I wasn't sure I could be much help... Until I got to the computer and saw the 'problem'.
The email was sorted from oldest-newest instead of newest-oldest, that was it. I clicked it and they celebrated me like I was Steve jobs.
applepwnz ยท 4169 points ยท Posted at 21:14:28 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in Tech Support and we get that kind of thing all the time:
Them: "I can't see my Contacts!!!!!"
Me: "Okay, if you click the Contacts button."
Them: "Now I can see them! You computer guys are all geniuses did you know that???"
mdog95 ยท 2756 points ยท Posted at 22:26:46 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or: "Why do they have to make it so complicated?"
Generallynice ยท 1604 points ยท Posted at 23:31:18 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One man's intuition is the other's labyrinth.
aMutantChicken ยท 2678 points ยท Posted at 23:53:01 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or one man's ability to read what options are presented on a computer screen is another's "it's on a computer so there is no point in trying"
YouWillBecomeTheTank ยท 1045 points ยท Posted at 01:27:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Learned Helplessness
KingPellinore ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 12:22:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't learned helplessness much more related to trauma than unwillingness to learn?
nausicaa12555 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 15:23:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If I had to pencil whip explain it "my behavior makes no difference in the pain so why bother."
The experimental section on the wiki is interesting if you can bear to read about dogs getting shocked.
1573594268 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:59:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is how I feel about the cleanliness of my apartment. No matter how clean I keep it, (I work at home and she doesn't) she always comes home upset about something being wrong. Sometimes she doesn't even make it through the door!
Benterprise ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:12:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Set up an office for work @ home. Lock it closed, don't leave anything outside the office except when you're 'commuting to/from the office' or 'out to lunch.'
This is a tough one for people to understand. They expect you to clean all day because they think you're home doing nothing. Make sure it's obvious you're at work - don't use the office for gaming - only work. don't respond to knocks when at work, only text / email / calls / chat. Make it clear you are at work when you're at work, not working and simultaneously doing the laundry or whatever.
1573594268 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:37:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I totally plan on doing this ASAP. I would've done this sooner, but we're currently living in a fairly small apartment.
SamuraiBadger ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:39:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just read one of his books! Such a fantastic writer and psychologist.
ballabas ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:44:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whose?
Blacksm1th ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 05:27:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Judging by the context, the author's name is Learned Helplessness.
ballabas ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:24:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
hobbitfeet ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 05:31:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Martin Seligman
ballabas ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:52:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks
SamuraiBadger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:42:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Martin Seligman, as the other guy stated.
leafsleep ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 09:26:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
thanks, I thought it was Learned Helplessness
ballabas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:52:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks
candybomberz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:44:55 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually everyone is helpless until applying the right algorithm and seeing it's success. If you told that person what you did or tought them to trust their brain then they would learn themselves.
It's like math. Everyone says it's complicated so everyone is scared as fuck to say something stupid and they stop trying or listening.
It's probably also scary for them to fuck up and break stuff. Shit I'm a programmer and hope my fucking programms build system doesn't break in some stupid way and I have to fix it for hours.
YouWillBecomeTheTank ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:20:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am a programmer too but the algorithm is reading and studies show that people, even smart, experienced users, won't read anything on screen.
TinkerNoodleHackJob ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 01:35:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I regularly tell one of my coworkers that it's easier if you just read the screen.
EsQuiteMexican ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 05:05:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You don't even need to do that anymore with smartphones or macs. If you see a picture of a person in a notebook, that means that is where persons are written down. That is not hard at all. Dumbphones were more cryptic and they figured it out, why can't they this?
SMYFFL ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 06:19:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, it's because they had to put a lot of actual effort into learning how to do things on older technology, and it seems from their perspective that they're forced to relearn their workflow every couple years when new things come out.
Most of these people don't ever come to understand why they're doing what they're doing on a computer. They tend to find roundabout ways to accomplish what they're attempting to do, and then memorize those steps instead of thinking why they got there.
This is why you'll see people like my mother (she actually does this) with iPhones who will do seemingly insane things like swiping left from the homescreen to get to spotlight search, searching for "phone," opening the Phone app, going back to the homescreen, swiping left to get to spotlight search, searching for "contacts," opening the Contacts app, then scrolling down to a contact name to call them. Even though my mom uses her smartphone more than I use mine and even though she uses many other apps just by tapping on the app icon, the way that she learned how to call people was (probably by trial and error) this exact step-by-step process.
The way these types people get through many things in life is by repeatedly following exact algorithms. Interrupt that algorithm at all and you've lost them - even if in doing so you've ostensibly made the software more user friendly.
Honestly I think a lot of it stems from using computers in the 80s or 90s, when it was a lot easier to accidentally break things by not knowing what you're doing. Lots of older folks never realized that bricking a smartphone or accidentally erasing some important file is nearly impossible in 2016 and spend their technological lives worried that they're going to destroy their new $700 gadget.
jalif ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:01:56 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have seen people literally move their eyes to avoid reading words.
These people depend completely on civilisation to support them.
Seccedonien ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:24:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reading... Isn't that reserved for books an billboards?
GreatBabu ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:06:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are Secretariat.
YouKnowThatOtherGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:15:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think such people have had so many confusing experiences that they just expect that the answer couldn't possibly be right there in front of them, and so never bother to look.
CBlackrose ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:58:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is why when customers come in for help with something relatively simple I refuse to do it for them. I'll have all the patience in the world to teach them as long as they don't act like a jackass, but they're damn well doing all of the actions themselves. I guess this wouldn't work so well for computer repair, but it works quite nicely with smartphone issues which are nearly as annoying to deal with.
internetkid42 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:14:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A great way to teach somebody literally anything is to get them to do it themselves while guiding them through it.
5-4-3-2-1-bang ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:12:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hate to tell you this, but the next level up is the person who does it for themselves while you show them, but then immediately flushes the info out of their brain. So next week they come to you, you show them again, and they do it again, and they immediately flush it again. Then the next week...
CBlackrose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:33:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it makes life a lot easier. Sure it takes a bit more initial effort, but if I don't have the same person coming in every two days asking me how to upload a picture to Facebook then it's worth it.
uhmhi ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:10:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly this.
Unless the screen displays information that is 100% identical to what they expect, they simply discard it all saying "it's broken!".
Tomislav3D ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:41:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
THIS. Once I had this client that didn't know what to do. So the only thing I have done is read out loud what I saw on the screen and ask him what he thinks we should do next. Ofcourse he had no problem doing anything he came to me for by himself. People just need Microsoft Sam to read all the shit that's on their screen for them.
Dashdylan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:56:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's sad how true this statement is.
Jamies_redditAccount ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:46:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A COMPUTER PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP
5-4-3-2-1-bang ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:13:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
GOOD LUCK CALLING BACK, MOTHERFUCKER!
Clear_Runway ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:00:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"okay, have a nice day ma'am!"
MrRandomSuperhero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:49:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, for a generation that has never had to follow certain structured processes it's not easy to figure it out, especially if they don't speak English. On top of that many are too old te be very good at learning still.
Obviously that only goes for old people or someone who has never seen a computer.
aMutantChicken ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:28:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about that. Just watch Canada's Worst Handyman. 95% of the time the problem is them not reading simple instructions.
ElmertheAwesome ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:07:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of a buddy who will skip intro dialogue/tutorials in games then try to play and say the game is too hard or sucks because it didn't tell him how to play.
Grey-eyedFenris ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:18:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Offer him ยฃ100 to beat Dark souls with a int/dex build then laugh and laugh and laugh
LandonCalrisian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:55 on December 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is your friend on Game Grumps?
DrQuint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's on the computer so I might fuck it up if I mess with it"
CocoDaPuf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. This is what I tell people about computers and learning to use them:
First, you can't break it. Seriously, until you really know what you're doing, you simply aren't going to break this computer, not by clicking icons and hitting keys. So with that in mind, whenever you come to a problem, just try things. Hit buttons that look like they might be relevant, hit buttons that look like they aren't relevant, just play with it for a while (because you won't break it).
I think this is the most important lesson in learning to use computers - realizing that you don't have to be afraid, because you aren't going to break anything, just go for it.
velocity010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's also a 15 year old computer with a boot up time of at least 30 minutes, my grandma's pc didn't want to open up my computer tab took her windows xp 10 minutes with all the crap she gathered.
She is the type of person that thinks that if you delete the shortcut you delete the program.
"it was state of the art when I bought it"
My blood curdles with the intensity of a white water river.
siler7 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:16:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You don't need intuition to read.
laffydaffy24 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:36:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is deep. My dad's going to lose his job because he just can't handle computers. Something in his mind just blocks them out, and it's like he's fighting against technology. For example, if he's trying to type something, and the paragraph formats automatically, he'll hit backspace and make an indentation with the spacebar. Takes him HOURS to do anything, but he can't help it. I keep trying to tell him that the computer is designed to help him and to work alongside him, but he sees it as his enemy no matter what.
akai_ferret ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:16:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Sounds like you should just show him how to turn off auto-formatting.
Hell, I work in IT ... and I fucking loathe auto-formating.
I typed exactly what I typed because that's exactly how I wanted it.
I don't need some uppity computer mucking everything up in a poorly conceived attempt at helping me.
If you gave me a large pair of wire cutters and legal immunity, I would find the bastards at Microsoft behind their ever worsening auto-formatting and I would amputate all of their fucking fingers so they can't do any more damage.
dweezil22 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:21:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Programmer here, old enough that smartphones weren't a thing when I started programming. It's almost like since smartphones (or perhaps Macs) there is a new class of computer user, one that generally expects software to operate in a human friendly way and is willing to let it go when it doesn't do exactly what they want. At this point, these people seem to be the majority of users, and I can intellectually understand their existence, but my gut is like "That fucking computer didn't let you do that obviously reasonable thing and you're just going to move on? Are you fucking kidding me?"
My wife loves mocking the fact that I'll happily type byzantine commands into a terminal to do "magic" stuff, but am 50/50 going to lose my fucking mind trying to find some random setting on some fucking unlabeled cutesy icon in some mobile app that apparently the rest of the world just loves.
laffydaffy24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is genius. I have no idea why it's never occurred to me.
the_norwegian_blue ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:14:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No. He doesn't want to help it. A lot of people, especially after a certain age, become convinced that their ways of doing things are the best and can't be improved upon. That's how you get conservatives.
laffydaffy24 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure about the first sentence, but everything else you said describes my dad perfectly. He's progressive in a lot of ways, but those ways haven't changed in several decades. Definitely some conservative tendencies, too.
oblivioustoobvious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why?
laffydaffy24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why. It's just his mindset- computers are out to ruin his way of life or something.
oblivioustoobvious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
weird.
le_sacre ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:31:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Particularly when so many others have an IQ around 100. Self-selecting populations like reddit, college graduates, professionals, etc., tend to forget how much better they are at understanding and using new information than the average person.
And sadly, being not-so-great at understanding new information tends to form a vicious cycle with avoiding new information.
akai_ferret ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:56:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
If you'd ever worked in IT you'd know how absolutely off base you are.
It's not a matter of intelligence at all.
It's waaaaaayyy more related to pride.
Generally the users who would traditionally be considered "less intelligent", people who have maybe a high school diploma and no college, will actually be easier to work with and teach. They're able to acknowledge mistakes. And they're actually willing to listen to what you're saying.
The nightmare users are the ones who have the most degrees, the highest positions, and the biggest paychecks.
PHDs are the fucking worst and I've daydreamed about throwing more than one out of a window.
And the reason for this pattern is, as I said before, it's not intelligence it's pride.
The more prideful the user the more you'll encounter a stubborn refusal to even attempt thinking about what's going on. As if they are too important to be bothered reading words that are displayed on their computer screen.
And they certainly can't be bothered with what I'm actually saying.
They're not able to conceive of the possibility that they could be doing something wrong.
It either works flawlessly in accordance with their expectations ... or we are incompetent and have broken it.
Edit:
And Jesus Christ do those same self-important shitheads sure love to bitch about having to change their password!
le_sacre ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This again is an extreme overgeneralization. I think you could make your point more effectively by not attempting to collapse the entire computer-literacy-challenged population into a single stereotype, particularly when it seems like you have an extreme selection bias in the type of tech support problem you encounter.
Sure, the "genius" in the corner office is going to be a dick to the poor IT guy who has to remind him to change his password. But a lot (perhaps most) of other people's examples of nightmare computer illiteracy stories just don't involve that power dynamic (e.g. the top level comment above, people helping their friends & family, immediate coworkers, etc.).
So yes, clearly pride is an issue in some cases. But not all. Take off your job-specific blinders and you'll see a lot of people sharing cases that involve no pride at all, but rather fear and... shall we say, slow-wittedness. Thus, it's inaccurate to state things as categorically as "not a matter of intelligence at all", "it's not intelligence it's pride", or "absolutely off base." Again, I'm not discounting your particular niche experience of tech support with these proud, intelligent jerks who should be smart enough to figure the stuff out on their own. I just hate to see these black&white pronouncements about human psychology go unchallenged. Why refuse to acknowledge a multifaceted reality?
akai_ferret ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:09:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm not dealing with a couple "genius in a corner office".
I work at a college.
So I'm regularly dealing with both ends of the spectrum and in between.
And I'll take an interaction with custodial staff over an interaction with a dean any day.
Edit:
Since I'm talking about the wide range of people I deal with I'd just like to confirm something everyone suspects: Yes, your HR reps really are retarded.
le_sacre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At this point, it sounds to me like you're talking more about "tech support clients who are a nightmare to deal with" vs the original topic of "tech support clients who are the most computer illiterate." A lot of us would rather help the custodian than the dean, but that doesn't mean they usually have the same computer literacy problems. Your comment about the HR reps implies their intellect has something to do with the amount of your help they require, which contradicts your earlier blanket statement that it's all pride and nothing at all to do with intelligence.
ThirdFloorGreg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck are you even talking about?
oblivioustoobvious ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:45:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No. You don't have to be any sort of smart to figure out computers. You have to not be willfully ignorant.
le_sacre ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:10:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hm. Cognitive science is sort of my field of expertise. Smart = "good at figuring things out." There are considerable stable individual differences in this ability (aka fluid intelligence).
Low fluid intelligence is a particular challenge for people encountering unfamiliar situations that don't fit into the cognitive routines they have developed dependence on. Just because someone hasn't tried very hard to figure out how to do something doesn't mean they necessarily would succeed if they put forth more effort. Sometimes people give up because they intuit correctly they will fail, or they can't even formalize the problem with enough specificity to attempt a solution.
That said, of course there is a lot of willful ignorance out in the tech support world. I just object to your over-generalization, and think it speaks to my point about selection bias: perhaps the vast majority of your social circle would have to be willfully ignorant to be this computer illiterate, but that doesn't mean that explanation applies to everyone. Given the drastically increasing share of the workforce required to interact with computers, it's not surprising to encounter tech support problems that seem bafflingly trivial to you as both an experienced tech user and a person of above-average intelligence.
oblivioustoobvious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:33:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for a thought out response. The thing is is that many computer problems are not difficult to fix and the solution can be found with somewhat of ease.
What I am bothered by and this is my opinion is that price give up before trying. I'm guessing many people don't even attempt to fix their problem. Because if they did they would find that it's not outside of their intelligence
hairymonsterdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty interesting right there, thanks. I do however, think willfull ignorance is pretty rampant in relation to computery things.
I often get people who have been using computers at work for 10 years, but they still do not know (or pretend to not know) how to open a program when there is no icon for it on the desktop. Now I'm not sure how it is possible, in 10 years, to not accidentally learn that you can get to all the programs from the start menu. Would this fall into the wilful ignorance category? Or some other description?
Edit: is actually something I find fascinating. I'd love to learn about the psychology behind it.
le_sacre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it is interesting stuff! So, personality researchers almost unanimously subscribe to the Five Factor model of personality (or The Big Five). One of these factors is called Openness to Experience, and it is the one most strongly correlated with fluid intelligence (some refer to the factor as Openness/Intellect). In general, someone high on openness enjoys experimentation and new information, while someone low on this factor prefers familiarity, conventionality, and routine.
So it probably is the case that most of these people you're describing are low on Openness, so they are unlikely to accidentally discover shortcuts or alternative methods through exploratory or experimental behavior that most tech people take for granted ("Let's see what happens when I click here" vs "That's not where I was taught to click, I better not do that!"), and because of the association with intelligence are also going to be less likely to pick up on helpful cues, make associations with other patterns they've observed, or be adept at searching for and implementing solutions through research.
I think there's also a domain-specific tech phobia that particularly applies to the elderly (and perhaps any stereotype-threat-sensitive groups, basically people who aren't young white dudes), that suppresses characteristics of Openness with anxiety ("If I click the wrong thing, I will probably break the computer" syndrome). So people who are fairly high on Openness in their everyday life may seize up a bit in this high-anxiety environment. That discrepancy could then easily make them defensive.
hairymonsterdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the insight. I'll have a think about that.
In regards to the domain specific tech phobia, do you think it would be possible to reduce the effects by education, eg. more classes at school or training at work? Or does the phobia come from deeper within? Generally speaking of course.
h4xrk1m ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always defined intelligence as "understanding how to use what you know". How far from the mark am I?
hitemlow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:26:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Office 2007 in a nutshell.
They really should have left an option to keep the 2003 menu styles.
akai_ferret ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:12:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm someone whose IT career has included way too many calls where I end up teaching someone how to do something in software that they've been using for years while I'm seeing it for the first time.
And I'm still pissed about the Office redesign.
Just because I can figure it out doesn't mean it should have been changed!
I can't think of a UI decision Microsoft has made in the last decade that I didn't think was idiotic.
It's like they're on a never-ending quest to see just how bad they can fuck up their UI without losing a significant amount of market share.
h4xrk1m ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:02:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They seem to have backpedaled a bit in win10. It almost seems useful to me.
Then again, I only boot it about once a month to click on the steam icon.
akai_ferret ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:02:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The most important program on Windows!
5-4-3-2-1-bang ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:17:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's worse is when a new version comes out, and as a support guy you know office has feature X, but you just can't fucking find where the fuck they moved it to. So inevitably you have to call the person back 16 seconds after you've given up hunting around in remote control and stumble across it on your own, or something finally falls out of google that tells you where they moved it. (Because the help file says such helpful things as, "oh you want to do Y? click on the Y icon!" FUCKING THANK YOU, NO SHIT.)
the_norwegian_blue ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:18:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Which shows you how unfortunately lazy and dumb people are on average.
Because if you have google and a decent understanding of English, you should be able to figure out most basic things on a computer.
chickenbagel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:50:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't find many other people who like the ribbon, am I alone?
SlapMyCHOP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:23:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like the ribbon.
DumbCreature ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
me too
sagerjt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:50:56 on November 30, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Me too. They'd backed themselves into a corner with the already-confusing menus in 2003. I consider myself a power user, and even I didn't know what all the options did. By grouping them by category, you can at least discover new ways of doing your tasks.
What I'm upset about is that there was an interactive thing on Microsoft's website back in 2010 that let you click through a "virtual" Office 2003 and then it would show you where to find the new location in 2007/2010. Last I checked they took it down.
h4xrk1m ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The ribbon pretty much sucks, but then again, I'm the happiest if I can just type commands.
5-4-3-2-1-bang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:18:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are five of you. Two are below. Go find your other two lost kindred spirits in the world!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm indifferent to the ribbon. Why do ribbon haters hate it so much?
chickenbagel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Supposedly it makes it harder to find everything, but I always thought it was useful since it organizes every function of the program.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for an actual reply instead of just nonsense "because it's horrendous" which doesn't actually answer anything.
ThirdFloorGreg ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:17:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's fucking horrendous.
ThirdFloorGreg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if you are alone, but you deserve to be.
ForgeableBrush3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:33:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
one mans labyrinth is filled with david bowie and goblins
bogdinamita ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:51:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not only intuition, but bad user experience on the software's part
Braireos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:46:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard this before... but kind of makes sense!
nupanick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It makes me sad that people get upset at the rest of the world for being bad at reading error messages, rather than being proud of themselves for being good at it. You never see graphic designers or doctors ask why everyone else isn't good at their job.
relatablerobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is this an original quote? If so may I have your permission to print it on a T-Shirt?
TheRealCPR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was just looking it up and didn't see it anywhere. There was a lot of 'one man's ___ is another man's ___' but OPs version is much better. I would love to see a representation of it in tattoo form.
relatablerobot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:38:18 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kind of a big jump there t-shirt to tattoo wouldn't you say?
Generallynice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I guess you can use it.
If you ever go commercial, give me a cut of the profit. /s
tastysounds ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:41:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Replying so I can remember that quote. Describes my work place perfectly.
h4xrk1m ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can just click save, you know :D
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:33:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else, gets me frustrated?
Draygon ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:47:21 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You just made my eye twitch involuntarily.
awesome357 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:34:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like you fuckin wrote outlook yourself or something.
mdog95 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:58:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"WHY DO THEY MAKE IT SO HARD TO FIND "X" BUTTON???"
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:52:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
why can't it just be like i want it to be without me having to act?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:49:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the computing industry has been remarkably slow on producing computers that can do anything without the user interacting with them, or even really knowing what they want to achieve when they turn on the computer
eeojun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fair point. I think it boils down to the probability of guessing correctly. One day when we can reduce the prob. of guessing incorrectly to a very small value (e.g. we can guess correctly like, 90% of the time) then we'll see more and more consumer devices actively anticipating the user's intentions. IMHO there are two ways to do it:
But it also depends on the cost of guessing incorrectly- you wouldn't want your fancy stealth bomber to anticipate that the pilot wants to nuke us all. Until then I'm happy with my phone not calling the cops whenever there's a loud noise.
aqua_zesty_man ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:41:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is a thing called IT rage. It begins with statements like these, made by people who shouldn't have been hired with the computer skills they have (or don't).
I want to ask the next time, "Fine, then, explain to me how you would design this interface so it does only what you want without any guesswork or confusion?"
karmaiswork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:01 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Old comment, sorry.
My answer? Remove all hotkey features by default. So many times in things like photoshop I hit the wrong button and have no idea what I just changed and how to reverse it.
stevevecc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:35:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I SEE THE WAY YOU'RE ACTING LIKE YOU'RE SOMEBODY ELSE GETS ME FRUSTRATED!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:04:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This doesn't work the way I expected it to. It doesn't work."
Heroshade ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:06:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always just shrug and say "that's German engineering for you." For anything. It doesn't make any god damn sense, but nobody ever realizes that.
t_Lancer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:42:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I want everything hand fed because 'I don't do computers'."
Mylaur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:00:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Mom actually they made it simpler you know ?"
paross ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:44:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to say, "Oh they don't ma'am, you're just dumb as shit."
mdog95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just way for the HR purge. You will have retribution.
paross ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I'm waying. I...am....way...ing... (เฒ _เฒ )
mdog95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...and most of all I'd like to thank my phone for thinking it knows what I'm trying to say and changing correctly spelled words...
paross ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't mind me, I know better, I just can't help myself.
PM_ME_CHUBBY_GALS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:53:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh this is how you get Windows 10.
rattus_p_rattus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"they"
theobanger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:00:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's usually this one
PornoPaul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I run I to on the regular
xTRS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I understand that computers used to be complicated. But nowadays UI and UX are so important that most programs don't need any explanation to use. There are people who's job it is to specifically make sure that their products are not hard use.
If you're willing to just follow along, you're probably no more than 3 steps away from doing whatever you need to do.
mdog95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but that requires actual brain power, which users do not have.
pbck1130 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh I hate that so much
WienersBetweenUs ยท 736 points ยท Posted at 09:24:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a call from a director,
"I can't login"
Is there a message on the screen?
Yep, it says my password expired and I need to enter a new one
Have you tried doing that?
nope
Give it a try
It didn't work
Is there a message?
it says I can't reuse the same password and nee to enter a new one
ok, try doing that
cool, it works, thanks for your help
HerpAMerpDerp ยท 218 points ยท Posted at 13:40:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is what I dont get, if they walked in to a bank and the teller had said 'you need to change your password', they would do it instantly.
But, if they read it on a computer screen they have no idea what the hell is going on.
[deleted] ยท 209 points ยท Posted at 16:49:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They are stubborn:
Ohh it's an error message, I'm not gonna read it, because it's some computer mumbo-jumbo.
"Please press enter"
dont_believe_sharks ยท 180 points ยท Posted at 17:59:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Happened recently to me. I get a call that there is an error on the screen. "What error?", I asked. She responded "Oh, I don't know, I didn't read it. I'm computer illiterate." I think, no, that's just regular illiterate. So she takes a picture of the error with her phone and emails it to me. The error message describes what the error is and exactly how to fix it. I copy it word for word into the email and send it back to her. Hopefully she got someone to read it to her.
Basstracer ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 16:56:27 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think she printed the email, scanned it, and emailed the scanned image to someone else for help.
dramboxf ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:30:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly right. As soon as that dialog box pops open brain shuts down.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:29:45 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Press Any Key to Continue"
ID10T: "Which one's the 'any' key?"
I_Rain_On_Parades ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 14:21:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work on cash registers. When we don't receive a stores daily data, we log in to find out why. Sometimes its an error with the program, usually its a matter of the stores not closing properly (or at all).
I have boilerplate instructions telling them what to do. Example:
"Please close your registers and perform End of Day, all corporate reports are showing $0
Thanks,
$me"
there's literally a button that says "close register" and "end of day"
people still call me when they get in in the morning and tell me they don't know what to do.
"What does it say on the screen?"
"Please close your registers and perform End of Day."
"Did you try closing your registers and pressing end of day?"
"No, I didn't know I had to."
meliorist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:38:29 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes, and I hate this, I will call IT and things will just randomly start working on their own. Like, I'm describing the problem, and it just stops doing it. It makes me feel like I am the above-person.
WienersBetweenUs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:55:15 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know that feeling. But the guy in the story above was just not bothering to follow the instructions on screen.
whatthesheep ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:19:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm annoyed because I started reading this with a cadence to it because i thought it was one of those poem comments, and it wasn't.
DesignerDev ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:40:00 on October 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, the old "read the directions and do what they say" trick. Sorcery.
0diggles ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 07:16:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love that when I auto sort their excel sheet of names alphabetically they think I'm a genius. When I spend the day building a redundant backup satellite relay connection spanning 18 miles and having to do the math to figure out how much the curvature of the earth affects the data beam I get, "what do you do all day?"
Punsire ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:18:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
so uh, what do you do?
0diggles ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:24:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a network engineer AND sys admin for a very large medical organization. Mostly I do a lot of deep breathing and hope someone doesn't end up dying because the database crashed.
READMYSHIT ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 09:32:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My coworker was told by IT that her inbox was full this morning and she needed to start clearing down her inbox/archiving items/remove deleted items. I stupidly told her how to delete items completely without sending them to deleted items (Shift + Del) the previous week. She decided to highlight all items in her inbox and then do this.
She began freaking out that everything was gone and kept saying "my computer has a virus". This is a pretty regular type of occurrence.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:25:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh god, this thread is triggering my PTSD.
I work as an IT professional and I try my best to not think about work when I get home. It's impossible.
glitch7788 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:35:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a director email me directly and copied the other directors of the company saying along the lines "I've been expecting important emails from our parent company, and I haven't been receiving them for over a month now which is unacceptable. I need this sorted ASAP!."
I then look through his inbox and see the emails he was looking for were automatically added to a folder every time they were received. He had set up a rule so all emails from that company would be stored straight into a folder.
He then asked me not to let the others know as it looks a bit foolish. What he didn't know was I already had written the email out and when he messaged me, I was already hovering over the send button to a reply all email.
Whoops! How embarrassing. He didn't contact me in time I guess.
Don't get me wrong. I normally don't do this. If he had come to me personally and been a bit nicer, I would have understood these sort of things happen, but to try and bring more higher ups into it and make it look like it was my department's fault, I'm not a fan of.
TLDR: Director of company tried to make IT look incompetent. Ended up making himself look foolish.
trowzerss ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:18:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All my email folders are gone! I can't believe I lost them all again! This system is terrible!
I click the little arrow to expand the inbox
Oh my god, how did you do that!
I proceed to then reopen the PST file that she'd 'lost' in January (it's now June and she hadn't called IT about it)
Oh my god, you're a miracle worker!
joeyadams ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:54:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Next week: "I haven't been able to see my emails for a week!!!"
"Okay, if you click the Email button right down here next to the Contacts button."
WankerRotaryEngine ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:08:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, yes we do.
Kjellvb1979 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:43:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I too am in IT and am convinced this is why there are so many big egos in the industry. Lol, but kinda serious.
dbenc ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:54:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I live in constant fear that someday that will be me. I probably won't even know I'm doing it.
Berjj ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:16:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's either that or "WHY DID YOU BREAK IT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!"
ricree ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:19:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Two days later: Why did you break my computer?
papereverywhere ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:56:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just emailed my IT guy because my Outlook now only had three columns instead of two and I couldn't figure out how to view all my folders. While waiting, I googled it, then hit Ctrl 6, then emailed my IT guy to tell him my dumb ass was able to figure it out. THEY WERE THERE YESTERDAY!!!
Firemanz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:27:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And most of the time we can't explain what we did to them without sounding like a dick and making them feel stupid. So I just smile and say thank you and move on.
applepwnz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:30:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate it when they're like "boy am I stupid, what a complete moron I am for not being able to figure that out!" because how the hell are you supposed to follow that up?
ThirdFloorGreg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:25:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you said it.
Firemanz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:34:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "yeah... I know."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No, no you're not. It's an easy mistake to make and I've done it myself plenty of times."
Or some variation. I get that people skills aren't exactly a common trait in IT people, but the ones with the best jobs in IT definitely have them.
Rejusu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:29:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Getting complimented for being able to do simple tasks always feels patronising to me. I know they don't mean it because to them what you've done may as well be astrophysics. But it just rubs me the wrong way when people applaud me for basically pushing a button, or following some simple instructions.
ANUSTART942 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:09:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like people like that instead of the ones who have a problem but still think they're right.
applepwnz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:30:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, those callers are fine, it just always feels a bit awkward when they shower you with praise when you didn't really do anything.
RockFourFour ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:26:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OMG l33t H4xx
PortraitBird ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:44:39 on August 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I recently got a job doing call-in tech support for a popular phone/tablet/music player operating system.
Had a call "I've lost a lot of my contacts. I can only see the ones that start with C!"
Customer had a C typed in the search bar.
Face, meet desk. I've been there for less than a month and have been on the phones for like a week.
wannabesq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had this one today "Can't see my favorites" was set to History.....
omega90blarg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
" the screen is black! I've tried turning the computer off and on again but it doesn't work" I went up to see what was wrong and discovered that they hadn't turned on the monitor.
OneRedSent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You feel so appreciated in a job like that though.
AkariAkaza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"it doesn't work!!!"
"Do it the way I showed you"
"Oh it works now, must have fixed itself"
Truan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
easy or not, I do love the recognition of appearing to be smart
Milmanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:57 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They don't want to admit that they're stupid, so they raise tech support to genius level instead... sigh
galenwolf ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:42:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'because I have a fucking functioning brain apparently'.
Ya_Whatever ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:06:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
55 yo female here. I LOVE fixing my friends computers because the problems are usually something like this and they think I'm such a hero. I even get thank you notes in the mail. But as my husband pointed out - you diagnosed the problem, fixed it and it was something they could never do on their own so you saved them money and time. So, yeah, all of here are heroes!
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:41:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's a bit like why photographers (usually) get paid so well for their time. Sure, it only took two seconds to take that picture, but the reason it only took two seconds is their many years of experience. People could probably solve the problem themselves, but it would take hours for them to do what you did instantly.
Ya_Whatever ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:46:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly!
yumas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:38:51 on September 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This week I forgot my keys and had to pay 70 โฌ for a locksmith to come and wiggle with a little metal stick next to the lock and open it at the second attempt. I'm not saying you don't have to learn for that job, and there might be some challenges from time to time. But I bet most of the time he has to use the stuff he learned on his first day and gets paid for little more than driving somewhere
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The term for this in economics is "comparative advantage".
watsonj3981 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:53:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is my experience whenever I go to my grandma's.
I'm not a computer expert, but my basic knowledge of computers makes me a miracle worker in my grandma's eyes. I love her.
tesseract4 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:13:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You've inadvertently discovered the secret of how most helpdesk and small-business IT people make their living. Please do not ruin this for us, we've got a good thing going, here.
maganar ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:48:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My "then I saw the problem" story was when they complained about the computer not working and the screen only showing black. Come over, turn it on. There is not even a computer there, just a mouse, keyboard, and monitor. They'd been trying to turn the monitor on for 3 days. It wasn't even plugged in.
SilentDis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:42:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait till they see Word 2016. Click on anything other than
Homeat the top and watch people lose their minds.Better yet, click
View, then anything over on the right other thanPrint Layout. People freak out, can't even begin exploring, and call for help instantly.peepay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:15 on October 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why 2016?
The ribbon interface has been there since the 2007 version.
KuroShiroTaka ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:03:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why do people actively refuse to learn about something that will eventually be mandatory in this society
Drundolf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:32:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most of the stories on here aren't even computer illiterate, it's just being illiterate.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:10:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At my work, we call these "Surprise Orientations."
Because we have a 'Training/Example' option for incidents meant to signify, well, training/examples. Nobody reads (or can read, really) the incident report after we close it, so we use this option to internally imply that the user is a complete moron.
2manymans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you basked in your glory
IKnowTheFingerGoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do this monthly for my grandmother. She somehow always screws up her email. I've had to remove different things she's added like filters that require me to go into like 3 different menus, around 8-10 clicks to find this stuff. Me and my dad have no clue how she ever turns any of it on because it always takes us some deep diving to deselect the check box she somehow turned on. Baffling.
NeedsMoreBlood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had this happen last week, have an analyser/computer at work that can filter stuff by time a test is done, is the test onboard the analyser etc. Someone changed the setting to 'show all', pretty common thing to do coz you can then search/look up a specific test number. She started panicking that she couldn't find the tests loaded on the analyser because there was sooo many tests on the screen and how could she sort through them all? Just... change the filter from 'all' to 'loaded samples' ?
THE_NUTELLA_SANDWICH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit, i thought you meant there were 55+ older women. Thats a lot of women.
maracusdesu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:28:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in IT and I've encountered the same problem a few times, and I've had the same reaction as you every time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:54:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my God that is so cute.
matusmatus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:28:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a time I was working in the electronics department of a Sears:
Elderly couple comes in, with one of those shitty 5.1 sound systems. The husband is fuming, claiming someone knowingly sold him a broken unit.
The problem? CD player played the songs in all the wrong order....
bAZtARd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you also install Google Ultron?
oneinch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like the one where someone has searched for something in outlook and either doesn't know how to clear the search or doesn't realize there's a search phrase typed in the search bar.
"WHERE ARE MY EMAILS! I hate this stupid thing! I can't ever get anything done!!!!"
MrsYoungie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:04:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a (potentially panicked) older woman can I say something here? My office skills were learned with pencil and paper, manual typewriters, transcribing machines, and giant adding machines. Mistakes involved horrendously complicated correction procedures. My sons were raised with the Mario Brothers - they clicked on everything looking for magic coins. This skill they bring over to their computers. They aren't fearful of clicking the wrong key and setting off nuclear war. I sometimes am.
You haven't lived until you've had to erase through 4 carbon copies of an important document to make a correction.
josh_the_misanthrope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So how much did you charge them?
solomoncowan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Were the old ladies sorted oldest to newest?
Slanderous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum's better than this now but she once had a meltdown because she thought she had lost her dissertation in MS Word "It just went!". She'd accidentally overtyped it all with a single space. one ctrl-Z later and I'm a genuine hero.
RazzleberryCake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:38:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is a 'home-nurse' i guess, basically takes care of older people in their homes. One needed help with her email, every time she went to write and email "the text changes size too fast and I cant tell what I'm typing".
While typing, the heel of both of her thumbs would touch the trackpad so it was zooming in and out. I had to just disable it because she did NOT understand
Crowbarmagic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Among my dads senior friends i am an hero for turning on wifi.
Project2r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
how much did you charge?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happens to me ALL THE TIME, except the person who is always asking for me to work my computer miracles is literally my boss, so it makes me look like such a G. "E_B, can you help me? I don't know why my e-mail doesn't tell me what day of the week it came in anymore. I cant get anything done like this." clicks the view tab and opts to view emails by day "E_B, you're a genius. This is why we hired you. Thank you." and I just walk away grinning like a pig in shit because literally the easiest part of my job is what impresses him the most. What's also great is it's literally that same exact problem every single time.
BrainWav ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My grandmother keeps accidentally setting her emails to sort by sender. She never quite remembers how to change it back.
Her PC's ancient though, and I'm planning to surprise her and my grandfather with an upgrade at Christmas, at which point I'm going to push her to using webmail instead of Outlook Express.
dramboxf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I get that a lot. A lot of my customers are retired, elderly people. I've resorted to using TeamViewer for a lot of my long-term customers (3+years and up) so I can just remote in and "fix it" in 10 seconds rather than driving all the way over. They LOVE it.
Then there's Grace. She's 96 and as sharp as a tack. She spends most of her day on her 27" iMac and I only have to teach her things once. That woman is a demon.
ph33randloathing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'd be shocked how common a problem this is. Often for the same people over and over.
cjangeloni1986 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a 55 and older community and one thing I have been taught us old people just cannot help themselves from clicking until they cannot click anymore. I am just like you, I am tech savvy but no computer whiz. It still surprises me how most people do not know how to google or YouTube a problem. I can fix 90% of computer issues with googles help.
Bandin03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:32 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got one similar to this. My cousin was a counselor at a major university and she's at least somewhat computer literate. She called me one day and said all of her emails are being delayed by one day, so anything sent today, she would get tomorrow. She officially hired me to fix it, I drove over there, saw a plus sign next to 'Today' in Outlook, clicked it and solved the problem. I got paid $50 to go click a plus sign.
Br1lliantJim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:11 on October 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think my favorite memory of working PT at a computer shop was when a woman came in saying her "computer just wasn't workin' right". So I take a look and see that her copy of Windows 7 that came with the computer has fallen out of activation (it happens sometimes, its pretty random but easily fixed). I was her savior and the brightest mind in the world when I took a picture of her product key and typed it in.
At least they are grateful (most of the time)
GLOOTS_OF_PEACE ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:43:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
but did you smash??
DoubleYouOne ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:10:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Using an ex-apple CEO for Windows shenanigans... I see where you're going.
Why not Bill Gates? He would have been proud fixing his own monopoly software...
MiamiPower ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:30:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So you made 5 ladles happy. With your newest to oldest expertise magic stroke. New Nickname Steve Enter 5 Jobs At DA Same Dam Time!๐ต๐ถ
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should've just spun your chair around, unzipped your pants proudly and exclaimed "Alright ladies, how much do you appreciate my help?"
duggy747 ยท 5908 points ยท Posted at 23:05:03 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Showing a customer how to play DVDs on her laptop, set up VLC and have it so it would automatically run when she loaded one in.
As an example, I put in a medical training DVD I had lying around that was left behind by someone else ages ago but I used it for these types of scenarios.
The DVD comes on, it has a list of different sections so I randomly pick on Gastrointestinal and it plays a training video.
Woman: "Why did you do that?"
Me: "Do what?"
Woman: "Why........why did you pick Gastrointestinal?"
Thinking she was somehow offended by the choice I then said:
Me: "Oh.......sorry, it's just an example to show you how the DVD functionality works on your machine."
Woman: ".........."
So I pop out the DVD and tell her she's good to go when she replies:
Woman: "So to play DVDs I have to choose Gastrointestinal?"
OffensiveLamp ยท 3282 points ยท Posted at 00:34:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kill me.
[deleted] ยท 501 points ยท Posted at 02:41:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We can do a group suicide.
crazed3raser ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 04:40:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Suicide Squad is coming out early.
EsQuiteMexican ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:06:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where do I sign up?
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 10:56:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"SIR, I am NOT a suicide person so I don't know."
jackjack012 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:42:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
9meta7fast
Am I doing this right?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:44:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A COMPUTER PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP
fork-and-spoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:52:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The growth of the meme!! REJOICE YE FELLOW REDDITORS, A NEW MEME HAS GROWN!!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:44:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Reddit beheld the meme and saw that it was good"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, this is probably a stupid question and I just don't know anything about this suicide business.... I'm totally suicide illiterate..
TalosGuideMe ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:39:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've been "Jones"ing for one of those. I'll bring the flavor-aid
TheFeelsNinja ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:23:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll bring kool aide
JaumeBG ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:02:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Make Jonestown Great Again.
ThatOtherAaron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:34 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am I too late to join in?
rockyrode ยท 662 points ยท Posted at 02:49:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
เฒ อเฒ
totally_professional ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 09:57:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You alright there bud?
Howzieky ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:27:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha check the source
PM_ME_YOUR_BIG_LOAD ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 09:59:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
SLOTH LOVE CHUNK
Edit: this does make a pretty dank cyclops tho อเฒ
thesnakeinyourboot ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:35:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just upvoted this to 420, I feel like I did something for a change
Opinionnoted ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:01:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Later
Gatenka ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:35:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That sad moment when so few people get the reference.
Flamecat42 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:44:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to windows, after a few years of development, theres STILL no tutorial.
just_a_random_dood ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:30:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Later
thenjerrysaid ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:52:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You pass butter.
911ChickenMan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:21:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You must be looking for /r/me_irl
alexmikli ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:21:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you mean /r/meirl
CuzUAskedFurret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
K thx
mymomthinksiamhot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:53 on September 14, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I will bring the Kool-Aid.
Andr3sfc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What? Now? Today?
Oh, darling, you're not going to die today.
right_in_two ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:47:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When and where?
Lobanium ยท 745 points ยท Posted at 02:09:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, just no. This is beyond stupid.
Racing2733 ยท 897 points ยท Posted at 04:00:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't just regular stupid. This is advanced stupid.
demmitidem ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 07:15:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, this is Patrick
n1c0_ds ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 07:45:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Weapons grade stupidity
Carl_GordonJenkins ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:35:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously. Like stupid to the point I'm worried I'll get taken out by them while we're both driving.
Gonzotron5000 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:37:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Live long enough in customer service or retail and you perspective on humans will change for the worse. If it wasn't for commercials and TV I don't know how people would know how execute any activity more complex than breathing.
FreakyWolf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:24:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that's a bold statement
OxvFer0cdak ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:49:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is M&S Stupid.
KitchenSwillForPigs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:14:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God fucking damn it I am so tired of understanding every fucking Spongebob reference on the goddamn planet. Ridmeofthiscurse
hypervelocityvomit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:34:00 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
StupMD.
ZimbiX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:05:38 on October 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Advanced from early-onset stupid.
i8plumcake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Turbo stupid.
Mildly-disturbing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Infinite Stupid
MadnessEvangelist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:19:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is terminal?
Headpuncher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:50:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stupidbits and stupidbytes.
Vellichorium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is a sub, right? Please?
spacemanspiff30 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:10:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not really, she was trying toearn and apply what she thought was the lesson. It's ignorant for sure, but she sounds like she was already tech ignorant to begin with. Need to focus the learning is all.
ph33randloathing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in IT. I have zero doubts.
Hakobus ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 07:00:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So I worked for this production company and around 2009 we had to send episodes of the shows we were working on on DVD to the head of programming at the broadcaster we were currently doing productions for. Since we finished the whole season in advance, I made a regular video dvd with a menu where you can choose the episode. I get an angry call from the head of programming:
Head of programming: "What is this shit? The opening credits are weird and too long and it's just little pictures of things with the episode names and I've been watching it for like five minutes and the episode hasn't even started yet!"
Me: "Umm... It's just the dvd menu."
HOP: "What?!"
Me: "If you're watching it on a computer, just click on one of the little pictures with your mouse and that episode will start playing."
HOP makes a grumbling sound and I hear them reaching for the mouse. The music at the start of episode 1 starts playing.
HOP: "Oh."
Call ends.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:26:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I looked at for a map
dorekk ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:56:13 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you even surprised?
xLudikrous ยท 1967 points ยท Posted at 03:49:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
DPanther_ ยท 1348 points ยท Posted at 04:28:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "Meme Support, how can I help you?"
Them: "I'm unable to be meta on my reddit"
Me: "What thread are you browsing?"
Them: "SIR, I am NOT a META person so I don't know."
Me: "What kind of subreddit are you browsing?"
Them: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A META PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP."
JackHarrison1010 ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 09:26:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "Support, how can I help you?"
Them: "I'm unable to be."
Me: "What are you being?"
Them: "SIR, I am NOT a person so I don't know."
Me: "What are you?"
Them: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP."
PM_ME_UR_VAGINA_YO ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 09:41:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tumblr support hotline ^
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 10:58:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"In all aspects, except physical, I have no identity. . . woof"
HeyRustyTrueMemester ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:31 on October 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How's the PM business going?
1nsaneMfB ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:23:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WE HAVE TO GO DEEPER
SaggiSponge ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 09:03:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh dear god, it's already started.
-Raid- ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:43:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
2 M E T A 2 F A S T
M
E
T
A
2
F
A
S
T
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:04:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's always beautiful to watch a new copy pasta enter the world
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:48:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
U deserve the gold
GMY0da ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:59 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is amazing
The meme has arisen
I-Made-You-Read-This ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
me_irl
Bickermentative ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 06:25:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Judge: "How do you plead?"
Me: "What do you mean?"
Judge: "Guilty or not guilty"
Me: "SIR, I am NOT a COURT person so I don't know."
Judge: "Did you rape this woman or not?"
Me: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A COURT PERSON. YOU'RE BADGERING ME WITH QUESTIONS SO I AM GOING TO GO NOW."
seandsmyth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
M E T A
E
T
A
Phaterson ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 04:28:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was fast
XDSHENANNIGANZ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:25:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like my sex life ๐
TheGreatUsername ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:40:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He said fast, not nonexistent.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:02:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like my sex life ๐
pearthon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:42:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Slow down air, you're meta-memeing too fast.
Flakesy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:07:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dont know why this infuriates me, but it does. This meme was just born and you are already using it wrong/shortened and make it less funny in the process. Where is the "i dont know what that is!" part?
A real call I got once:
changeneverhappens ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:11:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Have you tried selecting 'Gastrointestinal'?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:29:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hope this copypasta really takes off.
Lukias ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:02:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
M E T A
E
T
A
Squid0110 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:08:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man: The copypasta I am trying to paste came out all reported and downvoted.
Admin: Alright, what did you try to paste?
Man: SIR, I am NOT a meme person so I don't know.
Admin: Uh OK well you copied the copypasta from the internet so what keywords does it have?
Man: I don't know what that is!
Admin: Well how did you find the copypasta? What type of pasta are trying to paste?
Man: SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A MEME PERSON AND YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
3meta5me
Sawyourmomma ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The more meta the betta!
Easy_Toast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well that didn't take long
BawlsaWood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I LOVE THE SMELL OF FRESH META IN THE MORNING
Shepard_Chan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:59:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stop fucking it up! It's literally in this thread.
duck_of_d34th ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:23:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
IT'S ALIVE!
Ryr45 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 02:11:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is so far beyond just computer illiterate!
TmickyD ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 02:23:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But at least shes not regularly illiterate. Gastrointestinal is one of them $6 words.
12thr33 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:10:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Except she obviously doesn't know what it means...
aabicus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:18:43 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It means it has to do with the intestines of the DVD player. That's why you click it when you want to play a DVD.
Saxon2060 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 11:02:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a very frustrating but very fundamental thing when showing a computer illiterate person something on a computer that they can't filter out stuff you're doing that they don't need to.
For instance, as a hypothetical scenario, if you're showing someone how to print something and while you're doing it you think "I'll just check that this is the default printer" and click on settings of whatever and think "yep, that's fine", cancel, the computer illiterate person says "wait! What did you do? What was that screen?"
It doesn't matter how many times you say "it's okay, you don't need to do that. Ever. I was just checking something. You don't need to do it to print. IGNORE WHAT I JUST DID." They will not let it go and think "oh this is complicated, I don't know what you just did, this is confusing me."
colbyscumbox ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 02:41:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shit happens. Some people can't digest new information, they just regurgitate a recipe.
n1c0_ds ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 07:47:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The biggest problem IMO is right there. Some people learn patterns, and others simply follow a list of instructions. This falls apart as soon as a button moves 150 pixels to the right.
bigderivative ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:28:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This story seems so representative of clueless people using a computer and I can't really say exactly why.
dragontales3 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:28:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least she was trying to learn, though.
raiyuugami ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:08:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes."
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:51:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny but "DVD functionality on your machine" might be too technical
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:31:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was trying to teach a friend a little bit of Python so I'm explaining variables and use x as an example. She says something to the effect of "so what are some other variable names? Is it just x?"
CHARLIE_CANT_READ ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 03:52:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I still remember the shitshow that ensued when my trig teacher in high school starting writing functions of theta instead of x. People apparently couldn't grasp that the little symbol you use to represent an unknown doesn't fucking matter.
We were sophomores in high school.
internetkid42 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:17:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That stupid f(x) thing still frickin gets me. I didn't have a hard time with math in high school except for that. I think it's because it makes me think there are actually 2 variables and they are being multiplied and it just makes me confused about everything.
amanitus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:37:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes to help differentiate, the f will be italicized.
madamz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:02:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh fuck. I totally bombed high school math and the (f)x thing stands out as being especially crippling in my understanding of what we were doing, and I don't think it really clicked for me until I read your comment just now.
I'm 28.
sherlip ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:47:23 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Considering you wrote (f)x instead of f(x), it still doesn't.
f(x) just means - in layman's terms - function of x.
f(x) = 3x+4: function of x = 3x+4.
If you were to go back to where you first learned that notation, you'd see it was akin to y. i.e. y=3x+4.
However, as you progress into higher level mathematics, you'll notice that it's not always convenient to refer to variables as functions of other variables, and you'll become used to just referring to those functions as they are.
When you have a function with three or more variables, you'll get things like 3x2 + 10xy - eyz + ln(xyz) and the last thing you'll ever want to do is bring ANOTHER variable into the mix, so at this point you might as well call it a function of x, y and z, or f(x,y,z).
internetkid42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be perfectly honest, it didn't click with me until I wrote it out 11 hours ago haha.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:24:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man: I'm trying to solve a math problem but it's not working.
Cook: Alright, what is the problem?
Man: SIR, I am NOT a math person so I don't know.
Cook: Uh OK well you found the problem so what branch of mathematics is it in? Man: I don't know what that is!
Cook: Well how did you find the problem? Man: SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A MATH PERSON AND YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP
NO_TOUCHING__lol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had this problem when my friend who was a year older tried explaining basic algebra to me when I was 10.
whoispyxis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:59:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I want to shake my head. But this.... This is literally my mom.
And I'm her overqualified technical support every day.
Dakka_jets_are_fasta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:21:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Banging my head on the wall seems very tantalizing right now.
asmodeuskraemer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
jesus fuck the stupid is strong with that one.
WhereWoof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes."
Dioder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:10:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL VLC plays DVDs.
ThirdFloorGreg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...duh? That's like, one instance of the exact sort of thing it is for.
LoraRolla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:15:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm getting flashbacks.
Wizardof1000Kings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you should use the lion king or something
boobsforhire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Faceslap
BearBryant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least she wanted to know why, that's a good start. I just don't think you're ever going to get anywhere.
paross ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, that is the computer technical term for "play".
There is a quiz later.
Koeru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is so cringeworthy, but I have to say that this post made me cringe like no other
JokeDeity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No. Stop. You made it up. Tell me the truth!
libraryspy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I see you've met my mom.
MainlandX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The only reason this comment isn't at the top is because it was posted a few hours after the ones above it.
It'll get there, I'm certain.
etoile_fiore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like a conversation with my 7 year old.
dramboxf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the literal customer.
Try explaining a context-sensitive right-click menu to them.
Go ahead...try.
ph33randloathing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Many people learn technology via rote memory rather than by understating the concept. It's quicker for a single task, but ultimately a handicap.
Cobbleking32486 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd end up saying yes.
Jamesmateer100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
.............................. What?, what did I just read?
AdvocateForTulkas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:42 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Should probably just keep The Wizard of Oz on hand or something...
Jamesmateer100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:28 on January 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
cocks gun "I'm done with this world, too many idiots" bang
Starstuffb5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This post gave me lymphoma.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 09:25:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good god woman, go back to the kitchen.
[deleted] ยท 2676 points ยท Posted at 19:33:09 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I literally had a boss at my job who did not understand the difference between right-click and left-click, or regular clicking or double clicking.
Whenever he needed to attach something to an email (which was EVERY DAY), he called me into his office and I would have to walk him through it. "Click on New Email." "Left click?" "Left click." "Once or twice?" "Once. Okay now click next to the word 'To'. To the right -- to the right of it -- okay, now type in--" "Do I click again?" "No, just type."
He tried writing down how to do it a dozen times and gave up every time because it was easier to have me coach him.
This was my life for TWO YEARS.
Titus_Favonius ยท 1723 points ยท Posted at 21:53:12 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate it when they ask "Left click?" every time I tell them to click on something. LEFT CLICK IS THE DEFAULT, I WILL TELL YOU WHEN TO RIGHT-CLICK.
Life is an eternal struggle
ParadiseSold ยท 1534 points ยท Posted at 22:20:03 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I told my grandma "left click doesn't exist. It's "click" or "right click."" and I think it worked.
Phooey138 ยท 780 points ยท Posted at 00:39:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think if someone said "left click" I might right click without thinking about what they actually said :(
Mahboishk ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 06:01:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like the scene from The Matrix. "Turn left...no, your other left!"
MarcelRED147 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 09:08:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, house left. That's an acting term. It means right. I'm an actor.
grimitar ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:38:02 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
House left is stage right, so it only means right if you're facing the audience.
It's sort of like port and starboard.
octacok ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:05:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
K
Saltbearer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:47 on September 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
REFERENCE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
TheDreadGazeebo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:20:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And a ton of other movies (TVtropes link)
ParanoidDrone ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:09:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason "left click" and "right click" are the standard nomenclature on /r/overwatch when talking about heroes with different abilities mapped to each. (Like Mei.) Every time I read it I have to stop and think about which side is which. I say M1 and M2 instead.
CompanyCallsEpilogue ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:38:54 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought everyone called them LMB and RMB, but I guess that's from before M3+ were things.
Like if someone said "Click Mouse 2 on that" it would take me a lot longer to figure out what they meant then if they said "right click that"
ZekeD ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:33:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've legit done this in many games. If they specify a click I assume it's not left left automatically.
ICanNoEnglish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:34:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always fail to open a door if it says on it which way it opens.
thvnderfvck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:58:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually ran into the problem with the Overwatch subreddit. For some reason those guys love to specify Left Click.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:47:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That happened to me all the time when I was a kid, and my games would tell me to left click.
Dozentr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
tru
hgfdsgvh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:47 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here man. Who would give instructions that include left-click? They know it's totally just going to mess with us!
hcrld ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 02:13:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same with slash and backslash.
Forwardslash can go to hell, tech-illiterate teleprompter slaves!
JackHarrison1010 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 09:32:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever heard a word that sounds more 2004 than forwardslash?
hcrld ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:27:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Heelies! Sneakers with WHEELS!
JackHarrison1010 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:28:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, you have.
malenkylizards ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:17:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My roommate was watching agents of shield the other night, which I hadn't seen any of. Some hacker was talking to some guy who was pretending to be a hacker but wasn't. They told him to type "cee colon forward slash." That was when I ripped my TV out of the wall and flung it out the window. My roommate got all mad but I mean... It's my TV dude
SuperToastingham ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:29:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck?
malenkylizards ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:28:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure which part you're what the fucking. I think my response to this was completely reasonable.
JackHarrison1010 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:31:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure.
Grobur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pics or it didn't happen
malenkylizards ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just go on Netflix and see for yourself!
_mershed_perderder_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:50:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You could say it clicked with her...
hedgehiggle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:41:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is genius. Thanks for the tip.
jmerridew124 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:27:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's fucking brilliant.
christenlanger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it right if I do a click or a right click?
UnlikeMyself ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant!
h0ker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Great idea, will try this with my mom
ICanNoEnglish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If I were your grandma, you would have confused me.
ParadiseSold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because I forgot to use the ' inside of a "? Seems like everyone else understood just fine.
ICanNoEnglish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was joking and I'm not confused, since I'm not actually your grandma. :)
ParadiseSold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now I am the one who is confused!
ICanNoEnglish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
if what you said were:
you're grandma would have been confused and if I were you're grandma, which I'm not, I would have been [too]. Since I'm not your grandma and know that you meant
I am in fact not confused.
etoile_fiore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I think that's how I think of it, since left click is default.
m50d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I tell my dad that every time and it never works :(. Guy learned on macs first.
hgfdsgvh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:05 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is brilliant.
Salzberger ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:04:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good god yes. Same with clicking. "Single click or double click?"
Motherfucker did I say "click" twice?
Transmatrix ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:28:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom does this. Similarly, I hate when people ask "forward slash or backslash?" To which I replay "there is no forward slash, just slash and backslash."
jinantonyx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:49:06 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That used to drive me insane when I worked tech support. My biggest pet peeves were the constant "Left click or right click?" and "Don't you mean click Apply?" when I told someone to click Ok.
I would try to educate them about click/right click, and that Ok applies it and closes it, but I never got anywhere, because I never spoke to the same customer twice.
I felt like Sysyphus, rolling that boulder up the hill every day. I decided it was more frustrating to explain those two things several times a day against an never ending tide of the questions, than it was to just ignore it completely. "Oh, sorry, yes, ma'am, I did mean click Apply. Then click Close."
miahelf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the constant struggle telling people "okay now type slash msg username message" "back slash or forward slash? (trying to sound smart I guess)"
There's no forward slash just a slash ugh
ICanNoEnglish ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:43:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't agree. These are some of the more important slashes imo:
forward slash: /
back slash: \
slash: |
double slash: โ
concave slash: )
convex slash: (
horizontal slash: โ
upward slash: โ
something: โฏ
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:31:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
JimLahey42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:51:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Usually when the cursor changes to the hand or when mousing over the object causes the object to change or highlight its a single. Plus everything on the web. Everything else is double.
Pretty close to a blanket rule.
suddenly_ponies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:09:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right click opens menus. Left click makes things happen.
JNelson_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work with two 65+ year old Bosses, this is my life.
false_precision ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:59:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember writing Knowledgebase articles for work, had to specify Primary Click or Secondary Click.
citymongrel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:16:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Left handed mouse operator here. My left click is your right click. Deal with it.
Loving_Light ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:07:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Left handed mouse operator here, I used right handed mouse positions.
To be fair, I use a lot of right-handed things in the left hand, because fuck paying extra.
citymongrel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You animal!
JackAceHole ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:42:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly, if someone ever tells you they are from Korea, don't ask "NORTH OR SOUTH???"
Titus_Favonius ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:43:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I kind of want to do that to every Korean I meet now... But I value my life, so I won't.
SinkTube ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:46:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
East.
joker38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe, it would help to use the terms primary/secondary mouse button. It is especially useful, when the mouse buttons are swapped for a left-handed person. This might help them realizing there is a default.
celes_casts_ice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is my every day. ;-; I work in a computer lab.
Titus_Favonius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you burned the building down all of the problems in your life would go away
celes_casts_ice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:05:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A good many of them anyway!
Whiskey-Tango-Hotel ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:56:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can actually emphasise with that. I remember whenever I'd read something that would require me to left/right click and I'd press the opposite button, since I'm right handed right is my default size so whenever I read 'left' click I would think opposite of my default side and I'd stare at my right side before it clicked that it is not my left side. It was weird.
๐๏ธ MrJoeSchmo ยท 977 points ยท Posted at 20:52:48 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I assume the directions he wrote up looked more like a cheat code than computer instructions.
UP RIGHT UP UP LEFT LEFT DOWN CLICK CLICK LEFT UP...
Arancaytar ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 07:35:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I stared at this sequence for ten seconds before realizing it had nothing to do with the Konami code.
HODOR_NATION_ ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 03:40:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FIRMLY GRASP IT
AlmightyRuler ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:54:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh you dirty bitch, work the shaft!!
Wait, I'm sorry, what were we discussing?
Xalteox ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:22:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How do I down click?
AlmightyRuler ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:57:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fortunately, your boss now has unlimited lives and skipped a few levels.
Unfortunately, he skipped right to the lava stage and immediately fell into the nearest pit...with your paycheck.
Cobbleking32486 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:10:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that's not how that code works.
-manabreak ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:44:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
โโโโโโโโ B A START
RageNorge ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:18:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
NO START IS TO GET TO ACTUAL GAME AFTER ENTERING THE CODE IN THE START MENU
snowy73 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:36:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Konami code?
ToastyYogurtTime ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:03:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Start
LordPoopyIV ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 10:00:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Start isn't part of the code though, it's just for people without friends.
ParrotChild ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:06:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Konami Klick
ImaginedDialogue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Drat, now the red face is all messed up again.
See more of my wild imaginings at /r/ImaginedDialogue
horrorshowmalchick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sneak in and change it to 'UP CLICK' :)
Saliiim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:21:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They were a cheat code, in the sense that it was OP's phone number.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:10:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT B A
UrMomLikesMine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God Mode Engaged
MelbourneFL321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You unlocked unlimited ammo!
hypervelocityvomit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:44 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What cheat code is that? - IDKFA ("I don't know fuck all")
Teekeks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:02 on December 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, click twice or double click?
[deleted] ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 00:36:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once watched a doctor struggle with this concept, as well as double clicking.
"Ok sir, now double click this icon"
Click...click
"Sir, you need to click faster"
"I am doing the double click. I clicked twice"
"Yes, but you need to do it faster"
Click... click...
When he needed to right click, he took his hand off the mouse and pressed the right button with his pointer finger in a dramatic, determined fashion, like one does the big red button in movies.
He did not pass the computer course, mostly because he called the instructor an illiterate boob, and stated that he did not need this course to do his job. He was a doctor after all. However, this was a course instructing him on how to use an EMR (Electronic Medical Record) that his practice was adopting, so yes, he did need it.
J3SS1KURR ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:18:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I am doing the double click" reminds me so much of Butters saying "Yes, I know what you are saying" as a response to "know what I'm sayin'?"
ChaiHai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:47 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I now want to do all my alternate clicks in this fashion.
Gr_Cheese ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 19:56:55 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's no way he wasn't fucking with you.
[deleted] ยท 139 points ยท Posted at 20:16:04 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He was 65 and determined not to retire. Trust me, he wasn't fucking with me.
joelthezombie15 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:29:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that guy. After a week I would have let him have it. There is no fucking excuse for that shit
I can understand not knowing all the Shit in excel if you only send emails or something but something that Basic and fundamental is insane.
That's like a person not knowing how to use a pencil and asking if they need to use a pen or pencil. It's pathetic and people like that who refuse to learn need to be fired from their jobs regardless of age.
cherrybombstation ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 21:45:48 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your boss thought you were cute and enjoyed it.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 22:47:12 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely possible, but he was still an idiot.
aateZ ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:26:03 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you must be Pam
thisguyhasaname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the god? or the spray?
aateZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the character from office
HerpaDerpaShmerpadin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The can, or the bae?
aateZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the can
Waffle_Muffins ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:09:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had the exact same situation with a coworker. Took an entire semester to explain copy/paste and email attachments
Sad part is, he's a JOURNALIST and has worked regularly with computers. Recently earned a PhD too which means he had to have used Word and the Internet at the very least.
hwbehrens ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:18:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of the employees at my old job double-clicks every single time, despite constant reminders. Now, we use them as a tester to find issues with our software clients / UI.
FluffyCookie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:16:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In a more positive perspective, his dependancy on you must have given you incredible job security.
iamalwaysrelevant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:39:55 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry but I couldn't help but laugh at your irritation.
Seccedonien ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just write step by step manuals with pictures for each step showing what to do for my colleagues after they ask the same thing time and time again and simply point them to that.
yParticle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:10:57 on September 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is why Apple stuck with a single mouse button for so long. Some people cannot cope with choice.
Ibakemyowncookies ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:05:10 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's the same with my grandma..
Steffisews ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:40:46 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom...she's now 93. Has owned a computer since W 95, and she still can't get it. I've given up and refuse to help her with that task.
wabojabo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is my life rn with my dad.
TigerlillyGastro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He just liked how your hair smells.
GLOOTS_OF_PEACE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
what kind of job was this
lonewombat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or the people that double click everything.... EVERYTHING. Email, links on a Web page, etc.
PMmeuroneweirdtrick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this sums up my parents and their IT skills
FreakyWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just watched the Modern Family episode double click, it's fucking hilarious, I can only imagine someone not understanding double click
Ai_of_Vanity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least he tried to write it down. More effort than many people make.
Babycakes87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not the same exactly, but this is how it was teaching my mom to text. When I moved out she magically learned it
666666t ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "What do you need help with?"
Boss: "I can't attach to an email"
Me: "Ok, what email client are you using?"
Boss: "SIR, I am NOT an EMAIL person so I don't know."
Me: "near the top, what does it say? gmail, outlook, hotmail?"
Boss: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A EMAIL PERSON. YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP NOW."
RUST_LIFE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:40:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, he is now my boss and still has no clue. It HAS to be the same guy, right?
jackmusclescarier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:00:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not quite as bad, but: my mom always double clicks links, then gets annoyed at all the duplicate tabs she has. When I tried to explain this to her at some point she started single clicking icons on her desktop as well, confused about why nothing was happening.
PermaDerpFace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:00:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is your boss my dad? Because he sounds like my dad
UsuallyInappropriate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:24:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
click so hard
Clockfaces ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:33:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favourite. My God. It's like there's some fundamental thing his brain can't do. Really feel for this guy (and you).
I am dyslexic and there are some things that are just not obvious to me that come naturally to other people.
Edit: typo
LoraRolla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:20:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god i worked with people like that.
"HOW do I answer the phone"
"Just pick up line 2"
Blank stare
"Hit the button that says line 2"
He does. Then hangs up the phone. I'm like what the fuck just happened? Every day for a year. What's a sim card again? How do you restart a phone?
WankerRotaryEngine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:23:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What was his income compared to yours? Twice as much? Ten times as much?
The more they earn, the less they know.
sqrtnegative1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:42:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm willing to bet you got trolled... aint nobody who uses a computer "EVERY DAY" that dum.
maganar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I usually explain that you only need to double click things you can move around.
AichSmize ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You told me to write click. So I grabbed a pencil and wrote "click". It's not working. You're an idiot.
dmklass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is my father in law. Exactly. Every time I say to click on something.
Bonus: when I say right click on something he says "double right click?!!"
I am his on call tech support. Still livin the dream.
Koeru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate that it's somehow acceptable for people to be computer-illiterate and still hold management jobs. It's not that hard to learn but for some reason it's acceptable that they remain ignorant because they didn't grow up with the tech.
Kaminohanshin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you ever think to tell him its like getting in a car? Left side is the driver's side, its the side you basically default to whenever you drive a car. Unless something new comes up, like you're in Europe, or you're not the driver, then you use the right side.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is your name Dilbert?
qwertyx7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, this takes me back.
Sometime in 2012, I was doing a part-time IT gig. Mostly desktop support, helping people fix random issues with their computers, etc.
We had a new employee one day, she looked to be around 50 or 60 -- her first ticket was a request for help with configuring some settings with Outlook. Simple enough, I head over to her office.
Apparently she had only ever used ancient macs like this or older.
So I proceeded to, in the year 2012, teach a user the concept of right clicking.
Firemanz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or when people click something, the options menu pops up, and then they do that stupid giggle and say "oops hehe, I right clicked"
JokeDeity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had this life for several months, pay wasn't worth it. Also he was a crazy person obsessed with his membership in the Freemasons. Also he's my cousin.
KudagFirefist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had the same situation, but I'd get called into the office for things as simple as copy/paste.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I am reluctant to help my mom with a lot of her basic tech issues. If I show her how to do something, she mostly learns that I know how to do it for her, so I end up having to do it for her.
thethrill_707 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a end-user get out a piece of paper and WRITE the word click in front of me when I asked her to RIGHT-click. Ugh.
dramboxf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can beat that, sort of.
My BIL got a MacMini because he wanted to "edit movies," and I figured iMovie was hella easier to teach than whatever Microsoft offers and I wasn't even going to get into Premiere.
And really, if you've had any experience editing with iMovie, it's REALLY simple. (This was before the redesign, it was iMovie 6 HD, which is super simple to use.)
And the level of editing he wanted to do was what experienced video people would call an "assembly" edit. Basically trimming off shit from the start and end, and cutting anything out in the middle that you don't want. No titles, no transitions, no inserted audio or video, just chopping shit out you don't want. Scene transitions are just hard cuts. No fades in or out, etc.
(These were all his home 8mm and some other smaller format videos.)
Get this: It got so bad, trying to teach him how to mark and use Command+x that he started taking movies of me showing him how to edit a movie.
PuffyPanda200 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am an engineer and I work with a CAD program called CREO.
"Right click" and "right click and hold" do two different things in CREO. This makes explaining how to do things very slow sometimes.
Carl_GordonJenkins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boss refuses to use computers. 30% of my job consists of printing the same page for him to review for every client he sees. If he would learn to use a computer he could eliminate at least 1 job at our office. Maybe 2, out of 4 total people.
Klausenberg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:33 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't work in tech support but happened to be able to learn how to use a computer and then usually retain that information. But every week several members of my team would ask, "Klausenberg, how do i do a [basic function] in [Standard Office program]?"
"But colleague," said our beleaguered hero, "I showed you this last week."
"I know but...."
Cue le me trying to show them again but them getting bored, angry or a phonecall and me just doing it.
There were around 3 members of my team who pulled this regularly for over a year. When they got promoted, I got my notice drafted.
[deleted] ยท 1385 points ยท Posted at 19:12:16 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
MadLintElf ยท 1303 points ยท Posted at 19:24:11 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
30 years in IT and this is probably the number one ticket we get.
The other is asking them if they rebooted, they say yes and when I remote in I see the machine has been up for 3000+ hours.
[deleted] ยท 784 points ยท Posted at 19:31:45 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
MadLintElf ยท 604 points ยท Posted at 19:38:39 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's so frustrating, the simplest thing in the world to make your computer run faster is a reboot yet I know people who refuse to do it and still call in tickets.
Had one Dr. that hated typing in her PGP password, she would leave it on for months at a time then send an irate email to our bosses saying that she needs a new computer.
He finally had a heart to heart with her and flagged her user account so that when she calls into our helpdesk the first thing they do is check the uptime on her PC.
Haven't heard from her in almost 4 months now.
ParadiseSold ยท 375 points ยท Posted at 22:18:04 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm like 50% sure my boyfriend reboots my laptop when I go to the bathroom because he knows I probably wouldn't think to do it for months at a time
sketer_valentine ยท 197 points ยท Posted at 22:55:32 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Girlfriend? Is that you?
ParadiseSold ยท 382 points ยท Posted at 23:00:29 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey it's me ur girlfriend
IronElephant ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:02:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
now kiss
Zedding ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:55:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey it's me your computer.
Sierra419 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:07:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let's go bowling!
wakummaci ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:25:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No
WCATQE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:38:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Send nudes
klay2000 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 01:27:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here you go (; http://imgur.com/gallery/zRFVX
WCATQE ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:30:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well shit, i can use that.
LeftZer0 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:51:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That went better than expected.
likesleague ยท -21 points ยท Posted at 04:03:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
no
xxrazorcandyxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:59:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Boyfriend is that you???
Bigfish01 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:05:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a common thing? My girlfriend pretty much actively refuses to reboot her computer, like the inconvenience of doing so (Waiting for it to reboot, losing all of her open Chrome tabs, etc.) outweighs that of whatever problem it's likely to fix. Never believes me when I tell her to just trust me that it fixes things either.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:36:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
CynAq ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:59:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you may need to do a clean install on that win 10 machine. Mine used to crash a lot before I gave in and wiped it clean. Now it works like a charm.
Also, learn how to clean up a new windows 10 installation. It's got a shit load of bloat and weird activity logging shenanigans.
Such as: http://www.cyberpunkforums.com/viewtopic.php?id=3692
SinkTube ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:28:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure Chrome can save tabs when it closes, set that up and she won't have to worry.
Ran4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once installed a Windows virtual machine on my windows machine in order to use iTunes without restarting...
(don't hurt me, now I use foobar2000)
ParadiseSold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think its just a laptop thing. When I realize I need to go to class I close the lid and walk away. I never think to power off, because I know I'm going to want to get back on it as soon as I'm back
Bigfish01 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:09:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's some kind of barbarism man. It's not wholesome.
ParadiseSold ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:11:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lately maybe once a week the brightness setting stops working and I reboot it, so i'm getting better.
darksilverhawk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think you might be on to something here. I shut down my desktop every night, but I'll have my laptop on for weeks at a time and just hibernate it whenever I stop using it so I can pull it up quickly later.
NotThtPatrickStewart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always leave my work desktop on and just turn the monitor off. I need to be able to access it remotely.
JukeMastahFlex ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:38:12 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then start doing it...
ParadiseSold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:50 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do whenever it crosses my mind. But that's rare. Maybe I should put a calendar appt in my phone or something but that's dumb.
Iminicus ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 01:34:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just shut it down completely at night after you have finished using it. This way, you get a reboot every day and don't have to worry about it.
95DarkFire ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 11:42:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL people don't do this. fml
Pitboyx ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 11:19:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought this was the most common thing to do. As a kid I was told that the power indicator LED uses electricity so I should turn things off when they're not in use.
xelle24 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:34:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be the office manager and unofficial IT person at a small law office. Most of the problems my coworkers had were fixed by - you guessed it - rebooting. For a couple of months, I got everyone to turn their computers and printers off at night when they left. No more computer problems (except for the ones caused by everyone using IE). The electricity bill (yeah, I also did the accounts) dropped by half. Then everyone got lazy, the electricity bill went back up, and I spent far too much of my time telling people to reboot their computers.
We went through this two or three times every year.
ParadiseSold ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That would be find except 90% of the time I fall asleep by accident while watching YouTube videos
Iminicus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:05:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think Linux, Windows and OSX all have a time delay for shutting down you could set up. You could make it 'If after 1 am and computer has been idle for X mins, shut down'
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:23:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just turn it off every night.
OneRedSent ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:37:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, you can probably go for months at a time with no issues now. I would never reboot if windows update didn't do it for me periodically.
GyahhhSpidersNOPE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do that for my wife. :) And install updates.
Huwbacca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why do people never turn them off!!
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, I automated it on our home machine, it does it's cleanup at midnight and turns itself on at 3:30 when my wife gets up.
blamb211 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:10 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife NEVER reboots unless Windows makes her to install updates. I ask her like every week when the last time she rebooted was, and she can never remember.
MichaelNevermore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:56 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you don't carry it around in your backpack while it's on or anything. That's bad for the hard drive.
Eddie_Hitler ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:15:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not the case with this MacBook Pro I'm currently typing on. Waking from hibernate is also like trying to wake a teenage boy in a carbon-monoxide filled room.
I've had this machine for three years now, it's upgraded to 16GB RAM, has had various versions of
OS XmacOS (currently on El Capitan 10.11.5). I'm not convinced that it "just works" because, as an IT professional myself, I've seen it do plenty of stupid shit and things just going wrong. The OS has certainly got less stable as time's gone on.locks_are_paranoid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a MacBook Pro which was working fine, but it stopped working as soon as I installed the new OS update from Apple.
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not really a Mac aficionado but the OS has become increasingly less stable according to my Mac using clients.
Thankfully we virtualize 99% of our apps so as long as the servers are working they don't have many issues.
ShadowStealer7 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:57:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And people like this are why Windows 10 exists
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly yes I still won't use it on my primary machine except from within VMware.
RUST_LIFE ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:22:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What crap are you people running on your computers? Mine routinely has multiple months uptime (win10) and only restarts due to upgrades :S
I game and use it for photoshop and autocad.
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the best part, we are running win 7, but they disabled all the auto defragmentation, set the page file to the minimum (same amount as the ram 4gb).
Tried to get them to institute an automatic reboot during off hours but they said people might still have programs open and didn't want them to lose data...
RUST_LIFE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:03:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe thats why win10 defaults to installing updates and rebooting overnight losing peoples work all the time :P
I turned that off, but I can see how low ram/page and win7 could grind to a halt
MadLintElf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:45:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, and we are in a healthcare environment so that information that could be lost might be incredibly important.
ElMachoGrande ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:56:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, to be honest, that's only a Windows problem. Most other operating systems will chug along nicely more or less indefinately.
MadLintElf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:12:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up with a commodore 64, got introduced to unix as one of my first operating systems.
When we rolled out Windows 3.0 it was a nightmare, I had to by onboard 386 cards and add additional memory to them but these were the little chips that you had to line up perfectly and punch them into the card.
Damn I'm getting old.
lagerbaer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:00:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also maybe not having 500 tabs in Chrome open at the same time in lieu of using bookmarks.
MadLintElf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:01:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, we get a lot of that, they don't understand the concept of bookmarks.
Ya_Whatever ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:16:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A friend asked me something about her iPad recently, asked her last time she rebooted it, turns out she didn't even know how. We had to have a lesson in turning it on and off.
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, my wife has a galaxy tablet and we went through the same thing. She said she just wants it to work, she shouldn't have to restart it..
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:46:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bought an SSD to improve my boot times, only gets rebooted every 30 days or more.
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They are great, no fragmentation of files, I want a 500 gb one for home.
throwmetothewolvesx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:06 on October 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did the same, the difference is amazing.
alok4best ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:13:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably true for the older hardware and OS. I don't think shut down and reboot have such an impact on modern hardware though. For last 8-9 years or so, I don't recall intentionally rebooting my machines unless it was mandatory as part of some software or update installation. Specially with laptops, it's very common to simply close the lid to make it sleep and start exactly from where you left the next time to open the lid.
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do it at least 2 to 3 times a week and it's necessary. I run a ton of applications and windows 7 and the applications I use still have memory leaks.
Win 10 has gotten better at dealing with cleaning up memory, but legacy applications still take their toll.
Hibernation mode on laptops is a godsend, I love just closing the lid and opening it up and being right where I left off.
alok4best ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed, as I said, modern hardware and software are not so susceptible to prolonged up time. However, you still can't say that it's necessary. It may be necessary for your hardware/software environment, based on your machine specs and kind of applications you use, but it's not universally mandatory. For example, in my case, I never really feel the need to reboot with an i7 processor, SSD, and 16GB of RAM on my laptop. And I actually go on for weeks or months before some update/installation forces reboot.
MadLintElf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:42:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nice specs on the laptop, unfortunately we are still using I5's and regular sata drives most machines come with 4gb of memory.
Agarax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:25:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone actually uses PGP at work?
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately we had to, it was either face an audit or encrypt all of the vulnerable devices that had sensitive information on it (healthcare records).
I hate PGP
coinpile ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:54:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's amazing how many things can be fixed with a reboot. Heck, even my giant digital printing press sometimes just needs to be turned off and back on again to stop acting funky.
Jack_Vermicelli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:28 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a fix, not a cure; just a temporary treatment.
coinpile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:41 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd pretty much call it a fix.
thatJainaGirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:57:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I admit, although I'm pretty good with computers, I try a lot of stuff before I try rebooting. My last computer (before the one I have now) was running really poorly and my browser was crashing a lot while my family was trying to watch a movie. I tried a bunch of stuff and none of it worked, so I tried rebooting it. It shut down, but never turned back on. Something broke in the Windows installation. It took a whole lot of irritation and a bit of cash I didn't really have to get it working again. Ever since then, I've had kind of a phobia for restarting computers and installing OS updates, because I'm always expecting them to fail in some catastrophic way.
MadLintElf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:15:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've had them die on me before and yea it happens but I always have double backup's of my data and music/pictures.
As far as the updates go, I always wait a week until I install them. I belong to a few subs here and see right away if the updates kill machines or have adverse consequences.
Basically I let other people feel the pain, you are in good company.
Forty-Bot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:06:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
but muh uptime
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:33:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking PGP, I get so many emails from NAC's that fuck up the simplest thing. Just drag and drop, that's all it takes.
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate it just as well, have so many stupid issues, sucks up help desk time issuing WDRT's when they forget their passwords, ad nauseum.
Ninja_Fox_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:19:54 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Running Linux; havent done a full shutdown since I installed.
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:58 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hear you, I use to be a novell CNE, those servers would be up for years without having to reboot. Only took them down for physical maintenance.
liamwb ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:10:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I'm helping friends at school (we all have Mac computers), I often find myself asking when they last rebooted, and they ALL go: 'ummm, like yesterday...'. So what I do is say in my best know-how voice 'okay then...', open up terminal and type in 'uptime', literally the only command I know, and every time they are lying. Every. Single. Time. Ugh...
Azzizzi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:17:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I listen to guys troubleshoot firewall rules like this.
Firewall guy: Okay, renew your IP address, then try again. User: Okay, I just did and it still fails. Firewall guy: Really? I didn't see it come across. Try it again. User: Okay. I did. It failed.
Firewall guy: You did? Try again. User: Okay. Done.
Firewall guy: You did it? User: Yeah. I just did it. Firewall guy: After I asked you? User: Yep. Firewall guy: Okay, call me back when you're connected to the network again. The packets aren't coming across and it's working all the way to the router.
User: My computer's working. I can get to the Internet. Firewall guy: But you refreshed your IP? User: Yep. Firewall guy: Call me back when you can tell the truth.
User: Okay, wait. Let me try. [30 second pause] Okay. I did it. Firewall guy: There. Now I saw it. Why didn't you do that before? User: I did. Firewall guy: Goodbye. Have someone else call me back, not you.
TheNightTurtle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:55:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh god. my friend never restarst his computer has 50+ tabs on Crom open 2 or 3 games open at once and wonders why his load times are so long in games. i tell him he should at the very least restart the thing once a week. nope to much effort.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Did you clear the cache?"
"Oh no, I hate doing that. I'm not doing it."
... Cool
Slatergaunt ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:30:58 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me to reboot my PC.
KittiesAtRecess ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 20:10:06 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reboot every 5 minutes just in case
Slatergaunt ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:07:56 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Copy. I will be right back to let you know how it works.
ladyarathorn ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:12:15 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well? how'd it go?
Skoasha ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:28:07 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god I think he broke it
StretchTucker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
RIP
CMDR_Nineteen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:40 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Instructions unclear. Got his dick stuck in the computer fan.
Henkersjunge ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:17:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Startup script "shutdown -r -t 300 -f"
EDIT: Actually, thats not that of a bad idea for shutdown-avoiders:
"shutdown -r -t 86000 -f" will restart after approx 23:54 hours of uptime.
Super_Zac ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:34:52 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just installed an SSD and did a clean install of Windows in my main rig yesterday, so I don't mind doing it anymore. On my old 7200rpm HDD it would take like 10 minutes to boot up and be fully useable.
Still better than back in the day when you could go make yourself some toast, digest it, take a nice long crap, and only then would it be ready.
buttery_shame_cave ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:17:09 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
are you talking about booting your computer or downloading porn?
Super_Zac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:20 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not old enough for the latter
voidesque ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's obvious because you grew up in the age of malware and disk hording. In the 90s, it never took 10 minutes to boot up a computer unless there was something wrong, just like today. Your "old 7200rpm" is faster than the majority of HDDs in operation today.
DCMann2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:48 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
HaroldSax ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:13:12 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude...your start up just had to be murder. When I was still using a 7200 RPM drive as my boot, it took like 2 minutes, tops, to be booted and sort through the typical startup crap.
Super_Zac ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:18:05 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well this is my PC that I built in 2011, so it has all of high school and more worth of random programs and other shit slowing it down. Back then I wasn't smart about containing the amount of shit that opens on startup.
stephen_1975 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Takes me about 6-8 minutes to be usable on a 7200rpm, Windows 10.
I have a lot of startups though, Steam, Origin, Battlenet, uPlay, GOG Galaxy..
I like being able to just click a game icon and it starts. Any game at any time.
D8-42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same for me, before it was like an ordeal to do, now though it's just like "Oh you wanna restart right now? Sure thing, I don't mind waiting 20 seconds for you to do that"
SirButcher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a 5400 RPM HDD, and my boot time is around 3 minutes until every application and everything loaded up - windows is up in less then one minute. The problem was you, not the hardware :)
Super_Zac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I mentioned in another comment why it took so long
Enjoythings ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:00:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
!remindme 6 months
MadLintElf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:39:20 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget to run the disk cleanup wizard and also flush your browser cache.
Take care.
buttery_shame_cave ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:16:38 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
cc cleaner! does all that with one button push
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes but I would trust a typical user to use cc cleaner:)
fartivity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:14:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also download adobe reader.
nowhidden ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:18:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My best one was a guy who told me he restarted his computer for sure as I needed to do some work on it.
I connect remotely and he is still logged in. I asked him about this on the phone and he wasn't being very helpful, just kept saying no he has definitely restarted his machine etc. I just assume he did it out of habit after the restart and log him out then carry on with what I needed to do. I finish up and give it a restart again to apply the changes I made.
Dude calls me back and starts screaming about how he just lost hours of work because I restarted his machine and he would be getting his manager involved and that I.T. would be paying for the lost work.
I asked him how he could possibly have lost any work if he had already restarted his machine before I connected to it. I mentioned he would have either already lost it when he restarted, or he would have saved it before restarting as the application he was using forces you to save when closing.
I also informed him the only other possibility is he was lying to me when he assured me multiple times that he restarted his machine and that was on him, but I was perfectly happy to talk to any manager he wanted to involve in the discussion.
MadLintElf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:52:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've had so many interactions like that, someone wants a printer driver setup I get permission to remote in. Install the driver and test print something.
Ask them if the test page came out and they say yes, tell them to have a nice day and hang up, resolve the ticket.
2 hours later they've escalated the same incident (reopened) to management saying that they lost all their work. I just pull the system logs and show that I only installed a printer, didn't touch any other applications etc.
Then I check their temp folders and find the excel or word doc they were working on backed up, change the extension and viola they have it again.
Call their manager and explain that they never saved the file, but I was able to retrieve a backup, then I recommend that they take an introductory class..
Xomnik ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:42:26 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just a small dumb question. How often should I restart my computer? I'm on it at 8 am and on and off till 12 so just keep it on. Or should I just turn it off at the end of every day? I just leave my work up so I don't have to get it up in the morning. Now of course I update when it's needed and restart when things need it, but I'm wondering if maybe it's bad to keep it on all the time...
Iminicus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:03:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Turning it off at the end of the day is fine, hell, turning it off once a week is okay too. I typically turn my work laptop off every night once I finish using it and my personal computer gets rebooted during update installs.
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I restart my work computer 2-3 times a week. My home machine I shut down every night just to save me from having to clean out the dust on the fans.
rhonage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:49:45 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's surprising the amount of people who think turning the monitor off and back on is a sufficient "reboot".
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, we get that all the time and it usually turns out that they are use to using AIO's (All in one pc's) or Mac's.
MagicalCMonster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh my in-laws are like this... Like brother and sister-in-law, not parents. I don't know how they survive in this world. They used to just leave the desktop on all the time. The fans were going crazy and made it hard to sleep because they kept it in the guest room. They don't have a computer right now because he always breaks laptops when he gets mad at them.
MadLintElf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:31:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like that he breaks them when he gets mad at them. When we get rid of old laptops I like to take them out to the firing range and set them up. The owner thinks it's hysterical seeing a bunch of tech's punishing old equipment.
MagicalCMonster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:09:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But that's just awesome. His still works, he just gets impatient. His computer probably gets malware or a virus, slows down, then dies a violent death rather than getting fixed.
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey at least he's getting his frustrations out right.
trowzerss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:36:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank god we have the ability to remote into most of our computers. The number of 'computer that won't turn on' that I've managed to solve over the phone is a bit sad.
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hear you, I have 2 tech's assigned to remote support, they resolve 50% of the incidents we get.
TEG24601 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:19:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in ISP Tech Support, in an area, where minor power fluctuations are common. The fluctuations cause the DSL modems, and 3rd party routers, to loose their logical connection. They connections actually show as being up from our side, but we can't login to the modem/routers, and customers can't get online. We ask them if they have restarted, and they claim that they have. The blade they are connected to says they've been connected for days on end. We ask them to restart again, and they make a big deal about it, then say they have done it, and the connection never dropped. Hell, half the time I think they just turned off their monitor and turned it back on. Once we can get them to find the modem/router, they can finally get back online, but some days, it is a struggle.
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Been in IT since the late 80's, I understand your pain.
Yummyfish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:35:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had a friend of mine ask for computer help, told him to swing by my place when he had the time, he walked in carrying his monitor and told me to work my magic.
I then had to spend thirty minutes explaining to him how the monitor wasn't the computer.
I suppose in his defense he may have grown up with those macs that were a monitor and tower all in one, but I can't help but wonder just what he thought that big, computer-looking object he unhooked the monitor from was.
MadLintElf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:54:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funny, I've seen them turn their monitors off and back on again thinking that was a reboot.
Also had a nurse who said her monitor was stolen, get to the location and see that the laptop is closed. I open it up and she get's wide eyed and asks how did I do that?
It was extremely difficult not to laugh, then her co-worker said it's a laptop, it's suppose to be portable that's why you can close the screen.
savingit4later ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:30:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never thought about IT support being able to view logs of this. I work at a large supermarket chain and our IT support is based overseas. I lie about restarting my computer most of the time because it never fixes my issue and I want them to just create the damn ticket and escalate it to the responsible team.
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We know, I use a remote support tool called Dameware NT utilities, I can view system logs, uptime, current running processes, start and stop services, etc.
GothWitchOfBrooklyn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:00:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, top 2
chrynox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:25:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
similar story.
my mom didn't know how to turn off the computer, so she would simply hold the power button until it turned off. that poor thing :(
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is 75, sent her my old PC and created a little how to video for her. She says she loves the video because she gets to see my face (we are half a country away).
For Christmas I'm sending her a web cam and having my brother install it.
workyworkaccount ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:35:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work DSL support. My winner last week swore on his mother's grave he'd rebooted everything. He had over 70 days in the current session.
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nice, I think the longest I've seen a machine up for (windows that is) was 300+ days. They only used it to show patient schedules for surgery, but still 300+ days without a reboot and you wonder why it's not working.
Mellemhunden ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:41:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This solves all the problems my boss complain about. Yet, he refuse to restart his PC.
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, the way I look at it as long as there are people out there like that I've always got a job.
Mellemhunden ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:39:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
True. :) Spent 2 billable hours explaining what PoGo is.
MadLintElf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:05:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had a client demand to have the sonicwall firewall password just in case he had to find a new company to provide support.
The bonehead opened up the file sharing ports so people from the internet could map to the servers and access data. 200 computers, and 4 servers had to be reinstalled from scratch and the data from tape because they got the nimda worm.
It took me and one other guy 72 hours straight billing at 120 an hour. Changed the firewall password and wrote up a contract guaranteeing them that I would provide all passwords and documentation should they no longer need our services.
He realized how bad he screwed up that he gave us bonuses for pulling a 72 hour stint and saving his company.
sephlington ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:46:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They've probably just logged out and logged in again. I'm admin and unofficial tech support in a healthcare unit, so my coworkers are less than computer literate (fair enough, they do great with the patients!). One of the things I've had to pick up on is how much they'll need to restart (program, thin client connection, login, computer) and then even worse, how to explain it to each staff member. My god.
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, same deal here, and using virtual apps and explaining that they have to log in under their profile to see the applications. They keep asking why, and I keep explaining that it's based on your AD credentials, if you are not logged in as you, then the apps will not be there.
Darth_Corleone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:14:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you always tell me to reboot first?
Because it almost always works. Why don't you reboot before you call?
MadLintElf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:22:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We even have that on the recording while you are waiting for a support person to help you, they still don't do it...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:05:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They should really just put power buttons on the back to avoid this.
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Heck, I remember my old compaq portable III and it had a power button on the back, but that was in the late 80's.
d3photo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:47:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The #1 ticket I send to the office: I locked myself out of my AD account again.
Every 3-4 months I will do that five times in a string of days. Today is day #3 of the string. The last time was April. :)
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a decent memory and have to use different passwords for different systems.
My favorite way to create passwords is to remember the lyrics to your favorite song, take the first letter from the first 7 words then add an arbitrary number and special character (like a dollar or percent sign).
Makes it easier to remember since I remember the songs lyrics.
Firemanz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:37:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate when customers get defensive when asked if they restarted their computer. I've gotten to where I prepare for backlash before asking that question.
MadLintElf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:44:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually I don't even get defensive, I just remote into the computer, bring up task manager and add the CPU time to the list and they can't even argue with me.
We recently added BGIinfo to all the machines, it shows uptime, disk usage and the computer name as well.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
how do you see how long a computer has been powered on for? I'm curious about my own usage.
MadLintElf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:43:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you are running windows just right click on the taskbar and select Start task manager.
Click on the processes tab then go to the View pull down menu, choose select columns. Click on the CPU Time option and the click ok.
You'll then see the uptime for your machine.
excusemefucker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:36:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I recently found out a lady I work with NEVER turns off her laptop. She keeps it in her bag turned on, travels with it turned on.
I came into the office and she was trying to figure out why nothing was working for her. I asked if she'd already tried restarting and she said "Oh, it's too much of a pain to turn it off and on. It takes too long". For the record, all of our work laptops have an SSD so start up is quick.
I asked when the last time she restarted was. "oh, maybe 2 months ago" I told her to restart and if it still wasn't working I'd take a look at it. She never came to get me.
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nice, surprised it lasted that long!
dallasmay18 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:15:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The computers at my job are virtually always on; I reboot as soon as I get to a position and blow my coworkers away with how my set rarely has any issues and generally runs more smoothly.
winsecure ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:47:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So they're not being patched?
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, they talked about getting a SUS server a few years back but decided against it.
That's what happens when non-technical management makes technical decisions.
Matthew_Cline ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:22:55 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
They probably don't know/understand the difference between reboot vs suspend to RAM.
MJBrune ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:06:07 on October 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know this thread is long dead but it's good to point out that on windows 10 machines a reboot doesn't actually mean a reboot. If you shutdown your computer from the start menu and hit the power button to turn it back on then run CMD->systeminfo it will not show the computer rebooted at all.
This is because windows hibernates instead to get faster boot times.
MadLintElf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:57:33 on October 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know that, so it wasn't that dead and thanks!
crazed3raser ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:49:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bet you have to tell them to turn on the computer because they think the monitor is the computer.
green_meklar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:12:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And by the time you turn the monitor on for them, they've already pressed literally every single button except the monitor power button. The PC of course having accepted all these inputs and entered into an entirely new and unprecedented state that resembles something out of lovecraftian horror and requires six hours, two OS rollbacks and 15GB of driver downloads to fix.
el_monstruo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:24 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, mine is the PC being off or unplugged though.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:22:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
el_monstruo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I leave my work PC on at all times.
Jacewoop23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:16 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was praised by some teachers when I plugged in the vga cable and turned the on because they thought it was broken
CanYouDigItHombre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was about to say this. Sometimes I see people turn on monitors and think it should auto power on the PC right next to them. This was before laptops were common
diskitty99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this was my school prank
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
probably people coming from Laptops
this_guy_over_here_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I've done this before, and I'm a CS major. I figured out my problem real quick, but I felt completely dumb for like two hours after.
Patrick750 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually called my friend in IT because my new computer I built wasn't getting to the Bios screen. Turns out I mistakenly plugged the monitor into the graphics card when I should've plugged it into the mother board. It's not my fault the youtube video tutorial didn't go over it :(
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, but that's forgivable. A lot of people make that mistake, just be glad your motherboard had onboard video. A lot of people order them without it because they're also ordering a video card and then shit themselves when they find out their video card needs drivers to work and they're going to need a cheap simple $10 vga pcie card to get everything working at first.
axtumn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:18 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Hello darkness, my old friend..."
spectralfury ยท 1684 points ยท Posted at 22:05:07 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in middle school about 12-14 years ago, our computer teacher told us a story of the time when CD's were still relatively new, and 1.44MB floppies were still widespread. He had a student who knew jack, and his mother had to help him with everything. Once, when doing a project, he had to do some work at home. It was saved on one of these floppies. When he brought it to school for editing or uploading or whatever, he didn't know how to load it onto the computer. So he tore open the case and placed the magnetic disc into the CD tray, and tried it that way.
looki_chuck ยท 902 points ยท Posted at 00:54:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kevin?
IAMAHobbitAMA ยท 272 points ยท Posted at 02:19:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/StoriesAboutKevin for the uninitiated
dorekk ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 05:38:03 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My god. Amazing.
WHAT EVEN
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS.
And_The_Full_Effect ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 03:34:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I made the terrible mistake of taking a drink of water while reason the original Kevin post.
Hateborn ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 09:37:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You really shouldn't try to reason the original Kevin post...
proximity_account ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 09:47:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doing that must be like reading the Elder Scrolls
jmerridew124 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:30:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How do you read a video game?
proximity_account ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:46:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The elder scrolls are an actual item in the elder scrolls series
suckswithducks ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:59:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There goes my night.
bisonvsconch ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:23:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here we stand, to officially coronate the "I AM NOT A X PERSON" meme. It has already been wide spread like OP's mom.
Burnsomebridges ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Annnnd subbed.
ForgeableBrush3 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:35:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol, only if the computer then exploded and he was in fact at a different school
Flying_Cunnilingus ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:14:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kevin's mother was as dumb as he was.
rad_baron ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:25:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
GOOD point
myworkplaceusername ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:37:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, but you should ask Jack. Jack should know him.
SleepSeeker75 ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 03:08:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Underrated comment๐ญ๐ญ
yogorilla37 ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 02:29:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once tutored a class of first year university students on basic computer usage (1994 from memory). One girl complained the computer kept spitting her 3.5" disc out. She'd put the label sticker right across the top of the disc, taping the sliding gate shut in the process.
onetwo3four5 ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 03:39:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I read "when I was a middle schooler 12-14 years ago" I was like, "well that's not fair, everyone was computer illiterate in 1992. This guy must be some hotshot who's been on computers and is now 40. Then I realized that 12-14 years ago is exactly when I was in middle school.
Luigimario280 ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 04:22:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
14 years ago was 2002.
javitogomezzzz ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 06:54:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No! Please stop!
dorekk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:44 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cut that shit out.
Azkik ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're not alone. Had the exact same experience.
youlleatitandlikeit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:14 on December 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get your logic. You're like 24 years old. 1992 was 24 years ago. What are you thinking, you were born 14 years ago or something?
onetwo3four5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:31:39 on December 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You invented the travel and you use it to go back in time and not understand posts?
hazzdawg ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:33:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to tell a story about a computer studies teacher trying to insert a floppy in sideways but it just sounds lame now.
ifostastic ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 12:51:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only slightly related, but I've done something similarly stupid. As a kid I couldn't get Batman to play on the VCR and told my grandma. She asked me to bring her the VCR to see what was wrong with it. Of course she meant the remote, but I, being the diligent and attentive grandson that I was, pulled that fucker, cords and all, from the TV stand and brought it to her in the kitchen.
ChaiHai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:51:12 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And what was her response to the vcr?:P
-Reddit_Account- ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:30:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh
Hamza_33 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:16:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We were still using floppies in school about 10 years ago.
dorekk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:28 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The fuck? Seriously? I started working in IT ten years ago and I'm confident that a floppy disk had not been used in the building for at least five years before that.
Hamza_33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:00 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The older pcs in my high-school now still have the parts for floppy disks and yes 10 years ago usbs were expensive and not everyone had them. I think know I was one of the few and this is the uk. People just used Cds or floppies.
dorekk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:06 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe computing technology in the UK was several years behind the US. I haven't personally used, or seen anyone use, a floppy since the late 90s.
Hamza_33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:00 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not when it comes to new forms of payment :)
SenorBeef ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:13:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, don't the normal operating procedures for most devices involve ripping them apart? I rip my car door off every time I want to go somewhere. There's no reason to think that was the wrong approach.
Saeta44 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:22:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Assuming he didn't magnetize it somehow, you could still make it work if you were stupid careful to get it back into a case and then tape that case back together right. Did this once. Absolutely horrible but it worked.
RUST_LIFE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:20:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cd's held so much data D: it was amazeballs I tellsya
Sharks758 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:16:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now I have a 32Gb USB that is about the size of a coin and it only cost ยฃ9. 8 year old me would be jealous.
RUST_LIFE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We will have 1TB microsd's any moment now :S
Tactical_Moonstone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:27 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remembered a time when I blew a month's worth of savings for a 256 MB flash drive.
That was back in middle school 9 years ago.
I now have a 16 GB flash drive that costed half that and fits inside my wireless mouse. And flash drives keep shrinking in size and expanding in capacity.
fury-s12 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:53:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
only a couple years before the time he told you the story really, especially in a school
Godphree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My teacher told us the story of the kid who ejected his 5 1/4" floppy, neatly folded it in half, and stuck it in his pocket.
JackHarrison1010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:23:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How does this student know me?
PM_ME_CHUBBY_GALS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:55:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamn I feel old.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Those 8" were superior , right?
Stealthy_Wolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:49:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
5.25" for that rich dos experience.
d3photo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
CDs were new 25 years ago... DVDs were new in computers 15 years ago...
spectralfury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My teacher was like 60 when I was his student.
d3photo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I misunderstood what you were trying to say... you combined two totally different generations into one sentence.
Phreakiture ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah.
I've had the fun job of getting 3.5" disks out of 5.25" drives, and in one case, someone had noticed a gap between the A and B drives, and that was where the 5.25" disk got inserted.
Fun times.
stupidhank7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
well...did it work?
passion4film ยท 3006 points ยท Posted at 23:01:31 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a professor once who, while he was projecting his screen to the class, typed "Google" into the Google search bar in his browser, then clicked the Google result he got, then typed in "Images" into Google, then clicked Google Images, then searched for what he was looking for. We were all sitting there, mouths agape.
tombue ยท 1842 points ยท Posted at 02:33:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's something I would do as a teacher just to fuck with the students.
Dilski ยท 362 points ยท Posted at 09:46:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Google bing.
Click on bing.
Bing google.
Click on google.
Carry on like nothing happened.
VoodooMonkiez ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 13:39:45 on October 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking genius!
passion4film ยท 231 points ยท Posted at 02:49:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL I think this guy was legit, unfortunately.
PastelPastries ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 04:41:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Things like this make me want to get old and have a job where I interact with new people on a regular basis.
Heroshade ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 05:37:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Our equivalent will be turning on a holoprojector and having to deactivate the countless naked clones of Emma Stone that appear throughout the room repeating phrases about how our father was wrong about us.
GreatBabu ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 11:16:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You masturbate wrong...
Heroshade ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 13:07:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"A wizard masturbates exactly as intended."
-Ganondorf
webmistress105 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:45:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But Ganondorf is a warlock!
TheDreadGazeebo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:17:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No he's the President of Hogfarts
danhern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:36 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No he's the bad version of Captain Falcon
IronElephant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:51:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's what you think. Don't knock it til you try it
PM-ME-YOUR-HOBOS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wat?
YouKnowThatOtherGuy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:56:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Future equivalent of teacher having porn still up when they open their laptop.
GRAPE_API ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 07:46:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey Siri, please open Altavista.com and search for 'google internet'"
Trickelodean2 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:21:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even better would be in a computer science class
libraryspy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:54:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am teacher. Must try this. Pretty sure I can induce screaming.
WhoNeedsVirgins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:40 on October 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Any updates on the progress?
notfromvinci3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:45 on October 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Need to know how it goes! lol
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:05:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL my whole life is a lie.
tombue ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:08:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess half of the cringey stuff teachers do is on purpose. It varies from teacher to teacher and on the subject for each (old teachers are more likely to genuinely fuck up with computers than young teachers for example).
LoraRolla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:20:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Genius
WTFIsHonour ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:04:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you want to 1-up it. You have to google, google. Then copy and paste the URL before the search result into the URL bar, and repeat to get to wherever you want.
tombue ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:23:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think I should become a teacher. I'd be in my late twenties/early thirties, but people know I grew up with computers so I should have the knowledge.
It'll just make them freak out even more when they know I do that for 25 years already.
WTFIsHonour ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do it, just to harass children with being able to actually use a computer in the sense of doing the tasks you want. But in the most painful, arduous ways possible. I learnt from the thread that you can actually type a URL into your file explorer to load up a webpage so you could definitely annoy them with that!
tombue ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:32:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then, one day, I start a rant about Windows, bring my laptop/tablet to school with some weird ass linux without GUI and use that.
If students ask, I just tell them that's the way we did it back in my days (especially funny if I'd teach 20 year olds).
The_Farting_Duck ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:26:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On internet explorer.
Jakinator178 ยท 367 points ยท Posted at 00:05:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This take the traditional response of Googling "Google" to a way new level..
diMario ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 04:42:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can break the Internet by doing that.
green_meklar ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:58:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just make sure not to google 'recursion'.
JackHarrison1010 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:35:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Brb googling recursion.
EDIT: Wow. TIL.
diMario ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 10:06:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But wait! There's more...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Google_Easter_eggs
surprised-duncan ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:14:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My tits are hot!
NotFromCalifornia ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:42:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
go on...
dramboxf ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:42:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So my brother-in-law was trying to participate in a conference call. The person leading the call was telling people to type a specific URL into their web browsers, and to then hit ENTER, which presumably would bring them to a specific website. A perfect storm of errors on my BIL's part caused him to look pretty idiotic to the rest of the people on the call.
TriceraScotts ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:35:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I watched a co-worker of mine open internet explorer, use his default search, which was Bing, to search for Google, then click in the link for Google, and then he fucking searched for Google maps.
His default search engine is now Google, and we had a long talk about how to look for things on the internet.
Thrownawayactually ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:53:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We must go deeper.
NewWorldOrder781 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:41:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yo dawg!
I heard you liked Google, so we googled Google so you could google while you google.
hugglesthemerciless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen people save google.com in their bookmarks...
aggrocragal ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 06:42:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Confessions: I do the first half all the time. I'll open a new tab and go to google knowing full well I could just search it in the Url bar in the new tab.
Canaloupes ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:57:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do it because I prefer seeing search suggestions rather than my browsing history suggestions
TheRagingTypist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:35:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Look at this brave man who leaves his history suggestions on
Canaloupes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:50:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hell yeah, no one uses my computer but me
G0ILIEM ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:03:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
YES! I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE!
indigo121 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you go to google.com or do you search for google and click the link to google? The former is understandable the latter is wtf
aggrocragal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I go to google.com it's weird because either way I only don't in desktop. I think it has to do with using computers at work that usually default to Bing or some other sub par search.
will_i_am12 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:35:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
M002 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:40:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only 5 upvotes
what a tragedy
TheRagingTypist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm feeling lucky
emleechxn ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:32:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
This happened this semester for me:
Dialogue box opens in the middle of screen.
Professor struggles to exit by clicking outside of box which does not work.
Whole class: You have to click the X
Professor slowly clicks X of maximized screen outside of dialogue box.
Whole class: no on the box.
Professor slowly slides cursor all the way to the left side of the screen and clicks aimlessly.
Whole class: no the right side.
Prof slowly goes all the way to the right clicking aimlessly.
Whole class: no right side of the box
Professor finally gets it. It was a nice 15 minutes tho.
Also we signed up for presentations thru out the semester and people's name have disappeared and reappeared because each time we tell him a topic or something he doesn't know how to save properly so he had like 100 copies of the same file with different edits.
LovelyLlama ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:19:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your professor
Heroshade ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:39:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or possibly troll-face, which I was going to link but I'm on mobile and already went through the hassle of linking one thing so fuck you, you know what troll-face looks like.
naliuj2525 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:20:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man I had a teacher who was awful at googling stuff. He'd find videos he wanted to show the class but didn't know how to bookmark then. He'd spend half the class trying to find it by searching stuff like "educational spanish video about nouns. man wore funny hat that was green". It was the most frustrating thing to watch ever.
Emperorerror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:03 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lmfao that's perfect
CWHats ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:38:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I experienced something similar it went like this Go to Yahoo and type in Google > click on Google > type "email" in search bar > click on Gmail in search results > log into Gmail
I am surprised he even knew that Gmail existed.
Ppeachy_Queen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:57:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes! Omg this lady I used to work with at a historic site would do the same thing.. drove me crazy
TheReformedBadger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:36:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha what an idiot. Everyone knows you're supposed to type "go to altavista" in the typing bar thing.
surprised-duncan ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:16:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamnit, Jerry.
TigerlillyGastro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:46:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was this a theology professor? Because... agape...
thelegendarymudkip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love that.
saketuyas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:48:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
... I did this once to fill time at a talk
siler7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:22:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least he was getting it done. Way better than the ones who just sit there helpless.
blackbirdsongs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He could have broken the Internet!
NeuralHandshake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:07:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom does this with Yahoo. It blows my mind.
Wolfie_Ecstasy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:18:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I go to school in the tech field, and I'm pretty sure I would walk out, drop the class and complain if that happened to me.
benrp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:46:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, I had a teacher who used the bing search box to search for google, then google to search for youtube.
Nakopa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:08:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Myths and Legends say that google will crash if you google "google"
hgfdsgvh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:43:32 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now, I'm probably in the bottom 20% especially for my age (more like bottom 3% based on age) and even I find this hard to fathom.
princhester ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was he talking to the class at the same time? Because this sounds like the type of thing I would do when I was only about 1% concentrating on what I was doing on the computer and 99% concentrating on talking to someone.
my_opinion_is_cheese ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a professor who's projected computer screen was always a jumble of overlapping windows and files and programs. She would cut 5-10 minutes into the beginning of class to try to organize her shit. There were several instances where she 'lost' a window and my classmates and I watched in agony as she repeatedly clicked on the file of the window that was right in front of her face. I only got a decent grade in that class because of all the excused grades due to 'technical difficulties.'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:48:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of one of my professors. The entire class was watching YouTube videos about jazz music. He called it jazz history but all we did was watch videos. Well anyways Google has ads setup so that they are tuned to what you were previously looking at. One of the ads that popped up was 'hot single Asians near you'. He was either fapping on the school computer or using to find dates.
ohmygod_my_tinnitus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a professor who thought to get to google chrome you had to open up internet explorer and then click on the chrome icon back on the home screen... I'm so happy he's just a history professor.
ghostofharrenhal1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:31:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An older lady wanted to show us what the Kuching Mosque looked like so we could find the bus stop, so she typed into Google "Picture of Kuching Mosque", instead of searching Kuching Mosque on Google Images. Bless.
muteterror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:43:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When it's quiet my boss at work constantly goes on facebook by opening chrome and typing Facebook login page and clicking the first link...
So mildly infuriating!
Simicrop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:08:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a good chortle over this one.
electrobeam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:15:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he just wanted to savor the few moments of doing anything other than teaching
rogue_giant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:47:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this before when writing a final research paper in college, with the exception of having been up for 48 hours already.
BikerRay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:13:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Could have blown his mind by creating a shortcut for images (right-click address bar / edit search engines. Set "i" as shortcut for Google Images). Useful for Imdb, Wikipedia, etc.
TimoCT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This still happens a lot. So, so many times I see friends typing "Facebook" on the address bar without realizing a simple .com would bring them to the page they want, or even just using one of the history suggestions!
solomoncowan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
and it didn't crash the schools network?
HearingSword ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Im sorry but I do that. Its actually quicker than searching through all the options. Just click in the address bar and type "images" then click the result to google images.
Phoenixness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then, to open a YouTube clip, they Google the clip and copy the link into the html bar
ruheorama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have heard from a very reliable source that by "typing Google into Google" You will break the internet.
1Eliza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend who would open her Internet Explorer to go to Google, to go to Facebook.
Xeotroid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I sometimes go to google.com and then search even though there's a search bar implemented in my browser.
joshi38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend who typed "Google" into the address bar in Chrome, then when this page turned up, clicked on the first result, and then proceeded to do a search.
Basically, he skipped two Google search bars to get to the one he wanted. This friend of mine is a programmer, maybe a couple of years older than me, but otherwise perfectly functional as a computer user, even built his own and his girlfriends computers, this just appeared to be a slight blip for him, but man was it funny.
Alechilles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've witnessed people of my own generation doing things like this. (I'm 21)
It's truly a nightmare.
stapleman527 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Both of my parents do this and it drives me crazy. I got them to accept Chrome finally but they always google Google to search for something even though I tell them every time.
samdajellybeenie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OMG my history teacher would do that EVERY FUCKING TIME. We all used to laugh at him under our breaths. Some say he my high school's first powerlifter, and the last teacher to stop using a typewriter.
gloriousjohnson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my 70 yr old coworker the other day used his iphone to 411 a company he was looking for the number too. I asked him if he just used a smart phone to 411, and hes like yea whatever it costs $2. I showed him how to use google and his mind was blown.
TooM3R ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On auto-pilot mode, I once searched google in google search bar, clicked on google, and then just went to google through my bookmarks. No idea how it happend. There were witnesses.
notwithagoat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm somewhat computer savvy I'll do this on my computer occasionally. But when on a computer illiterate PC I'll always do this. Never know when Yahoo had somehow became default.
redstormpopcorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Last semester I watched a grown-ass man go to google.com, type "Google search" into Google's search bar, and proceed to his actual search query from there.
IN CHROME.
TatteredMonk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In highschool our computers had bing as the default search bar and you couldnt change it so me and my friends just for a laugh used to bing yahoo, yahoo ask jeeves, ask jeeves bing and finally bing google
lemire747 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my biggest pet peaves is when people want to search something so they type "google.com" into the URL bar on Google Chrome.
JeebusChrist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:28 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you check your email, you go to AltaVista and type "please go to yahoo.com"???
MikeTheInfidel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:40 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a coworker who has a bookmark to a Bing search... for Google.
We're both software engineers.
ThePlatinumPenguinHD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:23:37 on August 20, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The teachers who type the whole long web address into Google Search kill me
TordYvel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:34:06 on November 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad used to type www.google.com, and once there, search for "www.hotmail.com" and click the first search result. To him, Google was integral to the operations of the computer and internet. And as long as this worked, he saw no reason to do it any other way.
Raibean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man: The Google Images I am trying to Google came out all wrong. Admin: Alright, what did you try to Google? Man: SIR, I am NOT a Google person so I don't know. Admin: Uh OK well you Googled the image from the internet so what file type is it? Man: I don't know what it is! Admin: Well how did you find the image? What keywords are you typing in? Man: SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A GOOGLE PERSON AND YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP
bloodmuffin454 ยท 687 points ยท Posted at 19:20:02 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to help my dad's girlfriend fix her computer once. Her taskbar was coming from the right hand side of the screen and took up half the screen.
Jesus-chan ยท 695 points ยท Posted at 19:34:19 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I helped someone clear up a computer once. Ran malwarebytes and it erased over 14,000 malicious programs. It takes like 30 minutes to boot up. How the fuck do people have the patience for that?
bloodmuffin454 ยท 402 points ยท Posted at 19:35:08 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. I get pissed if a computer takes longer than a minute to boot, I couldn't imagine having to wait 30.
ace2049ns ยท 475 points ยท Posted at 23:47:26 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My desktop with an SSD boots faster than my screen can turn on. Everything else is too slow for me now.
Edit: I'm sorry. I should clarify. I have a monitor and a TV connected. It boots faster than the TV, not the regular monitor.
Vitztlampaehecatl ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 02:22:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Faster than the Hearthstone meta
IAmDisciple ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 09:07:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've found my people
KatzoCorp ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:20:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking Intel, it took them years to give us 18 RAM slots
xmikaelmox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ayy
BavarianBozzz ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 06:18:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know that feeling
At home my pc: 3rd Gen i5, 16GB RAM and an SSD
Boots to desktop in about 10 to 15 seconds.
At school: Old 2 core AMD CPU, 4GB RAM and 5400RPM HDD
2 minutes until login screen, another minute until desktop
Kill me.
hicow ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 07:08:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My old XP machine at work took twenty minutes to get to the login screen on a warm reboot.
AyyLMAOdazdank ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 07:39:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Warm? Not good. Give it plenty of fluids. Don't smother it in blankets either.
FurryFredChunks ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:52:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I refuse entirely to use school computers anymore. They're bullshit and it's a major peave of mine.
T3C_Illuzion ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 01:30:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine isn't quite that fast but usually by the time I'm sitting down in my chair I'm ready to log in.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 09:20:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I need to get into the boot devices menu-aaaaand it's gone"
samkostka ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:52:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Linux install had actually run into an issue where it boots too fast. It loads the display manger before the GPU is ready, so my login screen is just black and I need to switch VTs and switch back to get it to display.
Deuce232 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:19:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had an issue getting to bios because I want used to the millisecond window of opportunity. Glorious.
SuperSaiyanSkullFuck ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:06:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How? I have an i5 with 12GB RAM and an SSD and it takes a minute or so to get to the desktop :(
Deuce232 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:17:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That makes no sense at all. I've built the computers with SSDs and the slowest one is like twelve seconds.
You know Windows needs to be installed to the ssd and not the original spin drive right?
SuperSaiyanSkullFuck ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 13:21:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't patronise me, I'm not an idiot. I have a Sandisk Ultra Plus SSD dual booting Kubuntu and Windows 10. Sure the motherboard takes a good long while to get to the bootloader, but both Kubuntu and Windows 10 take about a minute to go from the bootloader to the login screen.
Deuce232 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:41:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If all I know is that you say you are confused that a computer can boot to Windows in around ten seconds...
SuperSaiyanSkullFuck ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 13:49:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, I'm confused that mine is so slow.
---CMFinley--- ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:14:30 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No need to be aggressive we are all trying to help.
Is the motherboard Sata 1 2 or 3? Are their any other drives in the system? How old is the i5? Is it a laptop?
SuperSaiyanSkullFuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:21 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Another user suggested that I'm an idiot and apparently pointing this out means I'm being aggressive? Whatever
Sata 2, 2x 750GB HDDs, i5 760, no.
Elrondel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:28:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Saying you have an i5 without specifying the generation doesn't really mean anything... it's why large scale manufacturers can advertise an i7 with 16 gb RAM and sell it for $1k while skimping on the GPU or using a lower quality SSD.
SuperSaiyanSkullFuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i5 760, 12GB DDR3 1600, HD5870, Sandisk Ultra Plus 256GB.
Elrondel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:11:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your CPU is definitely bottlenecking if your computer is slow, though I don't know what GPU you have. Shouldn't affect boot up time though since I assume your OS is on the SSD..
SuperSaiyanSkullFuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right, it's old but it's not super slow, especially when I overclock it. I literally have no idea why it takes so long to boot up.
---CMFinley--- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:29 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
GPU doesn't speed up a boot. You should OC the i5 for performance gains
SuperSaiyanSkullFuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:44 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would but it crashes when I OC. Either it doesn't reach POST or the OS refuses to boot.
F4cetious ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:11:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The trials of trying to access the BIOS when you don't remember which key to press and your computer's so fast you never see the POST screen anymore.
MyNameSeemsToBeTaken ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:53:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well.... My computer actualy boots up faster than my monitor... This is due to that stupid acer screen it wants to display upon monitor startup...
Now that I think about it, I have not even seen what the bootup process looks like.
DarksteelPenguin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:57:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So beautiful ;_;
Blaze_fox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:58:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
if i press the power buttons on my pc and monitor at the same time the monitor readies up JUST SECONDS (like, 2 of them) before my password screen pops up.
im on a slow 2tb hard drive too
CageAndBale ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:59:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Enlighten me, what else does it do fast?
---CMFinley--- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:24 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Old machines are very capable especially if you play old games. If your needs don't evolve over time neither does the required specs for a pc
OddKSM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:23:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have the reverse problem, my pc shuts down quicker than I can turn off my screen, sending it into auto-source mode resulting in it taking maybe ten extra seconds to turn everything off. Woe is me!
(Funny, how I used to have to turn on my pc before I made breakfast for it to be ready when I came back.)
Sierra419 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have an SSD and it still takes a good 10-20 seconds. How does yours boot so fast? My post screen takes the longest.
ace2049ns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See edit. Also upgrading my CPU took a good chunk off the startup time. It's like 12 seconds for me.
zero_dgz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:59:36 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, you've never worked with Windows NT 4.0. The old machines at my office used to take a solid 15 minutes to boot when they were clean. I had enough time not only to go get a cup of coffee, but make a whole new pot and wash all the dishes in the break room every time I had to reboot.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:26:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't get win 10 if you like sub minute boots...
JackHarrison1010 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:34:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I purchased a so-called instant on computer in 2014. It would go from hitting the on button to wanting my password in well under 3 seconds. Now it's a bit older it takes 20 seconds and I find that annoying.
miscmouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:36:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Depends how old it was man. Until the early 2000s computers took like 10 min to boot. It was obnoxious.
BadBoyJH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a computer that you had to turn on, leave for 30 minutes, reboot, and it would then boot.
If you were to restart it from there, you would again have to wait 30 minutes.
Back in the good ol Win 3.1 days.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My laptop takes about 20 minutes or more if it's booting from a dead battery. This wouldn't be a problem if the battery weren't fucked up and didn't drain no matter what state it is left in, even off. So basically if my computer goes a day with out being used but with out being plugged into its charger is a pain in the ass. My parents don't get this and unplug it all the time. I need a new laptop but can't afford one and have a great desktop.
GrimResistance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My stupid monitor takes longer to come out of standby than my computer takes to boot up and it pisses me right off.
fireork12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It takes me about 2:00-3:00 on a 32-bit system, is that bad?
pulispangkalawakan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:58 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A minute? You are a goddamn saint. I would've given it 20 seconds tops.
TiltedTile ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:51:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was unofficial IT for a small business. Basically, just me and my boss were the only employees.
Anyway, one day his kids were not in school, so instead of paying for a babysitter or daycare, he let them come to the office and hang out. They got the laptop to play games on so they'd leave him alone to work.
A couple of hours in, they approach me and tell me it's not working.
I go check it out.
It actually locked up due to the amount of malware that had been downloaded and installed during that time. I had to do a hard reboot.
This was back in the days when Firefox was really super new and Chrome didn't exist, and ad-blocker stuff was really rudimentary. You went to the wrong sites, and shit completely kicked your computers' ass.
So once it rebooted (which took forever because a lot of this malware started itself up on boot) I ran Spybot Search and Destroy. It returned thousands upon thousands of entries for malware. Then I ran Ad Aware, and it picked up ADDITIONAL stuff Spybot S&D didn't catch.
They only had this laptop for a few hours at most, and completely LOCKED IT UP during that timeframe. I was amazed. But maybe I shouldn't have been.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:50:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grandparents had dial up until about 2010.
Grandpa would press power button, go take a dump, make himself a sandwich, and then sit down in time for the computer to turn on, sandwich in hand.
hicow ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:10:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I rebuilt a desktop for a co-worker's father a while back. I was speculating on what the hell was wrong with it when it took half an hour or so to get to the desktop. Turned out to be 6 or 7 different A/V programs fighting with each other. I didn't even try to clean it up. Nuke and pave, install Avast, done.
evelution ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:07:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend's mum does that to her computer repeatedly. When the poor machine was about 6 months old she complained it was running a bit slow, so i went with the usual malwarebytes/ccleaner combo. The final tally was 17,500 results in MWB, and 32GB in CC. Watching the results add up, i was somewhere between tears and maniacal cackling because i couldn't believe what i was seeing.
fish_n_cake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:05:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I find the kind of people who have 14000 toolbars on "muh explorer" just don't know that it doesn't have to take that long.
Delanium ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:10:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once got this 3-for-one deal on my security system, and I shared it with my parents. My computer-illerate dad's wasn't so bad, since he does pretty much nothing but email, and I taught him how to avoid spam. My mom's though.... my God. She had always complained about it being slow, but I thought it was just because we live in the country and it was an old model. The security scan found 18,000 "problems." Granted, those can be super small, but with the sheer numbers, you know there were probably hundreds of seriously malicious programs on there. Thank God my parents did their taxes on my faster computer.
svennnn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:39:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because many people don't know any different and assume that's "just how it is".
Sticky32 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:27:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used malwarebytes to remove over 7,500 infected files on my buddies computer once, though over the years I've removed well over ten or fifteen thousandth infected files from that machine...
I don't even understand how you can come across that many viruses without going looking for them.
sidney_crago ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:25:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FLAGRANT SYSTEM ERROR
COMPUTER OVER. VIRUS = VERY YES.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The most I have ever cleaned off was 2500
Auroren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had a very similar situation with my friend. A few years ago, his computer was running extremely slow and so we ran Malwarebytes and it found like 10,000 (don't remember the exact number) viruses. We still joke about it to this day lol
PM_ME_CHUBBY_GALS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What do you think keeps Best Buy selling computers? People get to that point and instead of fixing it, buy a new computer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Well, back in the day my first computer took at least 15 minutes to boot up. No maleware or anything, just computers sucked back then.
So if you wanted to use the computer you would turn it on, go do a bunch of other shit, and come back later.
I guess people now just don't know it doesn't have to be that way anymore.
TheNewElite250 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:05:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not to defend that level of passivity, but... I was on dial up until a couple years ago, and mostly made do with old towers I got in free piles over the years because I couldn't afford much. So...30 minute waits weren't all that bad.
Jesus-chan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If that's the way it was, that's one thing, but I guarantee that this machine could boot up in a minute or two when it was bought, but now... Especially since it would crash regularly
TheNewElite250 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, definitely. I'm just saying that a 30 minute wait wouldn't make anyone who has had dial up think twice, probably.
Divine_Wyvern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The current record for my workplace for MBAM is close to 300,000. (Not at work, cannot obtain exact number) - it took two shifts for a total of about 15 hours before completing.
agoia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Easy: NEVER rebooting.
dramboxf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man....had a referral customer complain that their Gateway machine they purchased at Costco six years ago was "starting to run a little slow."
This machine had never, ever been maintained. They had no original media for a reinstall, and were adamant that I just "fix it" rather than wipe and reinstall.
Their %TMP% directory.... I am not making this up ... took four days (96 hours) to delete. A rmdir /s is what I used....four DAYS.
I then installed CCleaner and showed them how to use it.
mrphycowitz ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:58:55 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People like that shouldn't be allowed to have computers...
fury-s12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:00:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hahaha 'once' good luck with that
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:42:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's hilarious, but why the fuck would Microsoft allow people to change it like that? They suck at design.
Furoan ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:18:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why? It's been part of windows since windows 95. It makes as much sense to have a vertical task bar as it does a horizontal taskbar. You can have the horizontal taskbar take up half the screen if you really want as well, if for some reason you want rows of sticky icons/folders there.
GlueR ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:51:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because Windows is less foolproof than MacOS and more foolproof than most Linux distros.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:52:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep my Dad did that with mine whilst I was on holiday. I never knew that was a thing until Dad.
exelion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of the client companies my last employer used to support did that all the time, to where the in house knowledge base had a ticket template for it.
DUMPAH_CHUCKER_69 ยท 2064 points ยท Posted at 22:42:27 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was just told the registers at my work broke down because "a fan was running and the games on the computer gave it a virus". No Steph, the preloaded games by Microsoft do not have viruses and the fan doesn't affect the computer in anyway.
[deleted] ยท 1769 points ยท Posted at 01:15:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DUMPAH_CHUCKER_69 ยท 553 points ยท Posted at 03:38:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm somewhat fine with the games, because we shouldn't be playing them on the registers anyways. However they said that a simple tabletop fan was slowing down or affecting the PC the registers run on, which is absurd
program_the_world ยท 571 points ยท Posted at 07:26:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tabletop fans cause enough of a turbulence that it can offset the CPU fan just enough that it reverses the polarity of the processor. This of course leads to data corruption and at times the computer will display similar symptoms to that of a virus. Don't quote me on this though, my professor was a broom.
[deleted] ยท 530 points ยท Posted at 10:26:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This doesn't seem right but I ALREADY TOLD YOU IM NOT A COMPUTER PERSON SO IM HANGING UP NOW.
program_the_world ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 10:40:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sir, please listen. I can assure you I have no idea what I'm talking about. Now, if you will be patient we can get this sorted out.
wererat2000 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 12:24:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, reddit's gonna be using this one for the rest of the week...
VersatileFaerie ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:06:11 on August 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A week? I still am seeing it in new posts 3 weeks later... :/
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:54:03 on September 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
sojoe17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:17:40 on September 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm; still a thing
justAgamerGOD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:58:45 on October 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Still in use :v
LeBestestMemer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:37:39 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Rip
justAgamerGOD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:43 on November 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just saw is 2 minutes ago again c:
NeedHelpWithExcel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:06:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do people honestly think this is funny and upvote it? Maybe the first time it was a meta joke but this is easily the 30th meta reference to the same thread I've seen with 100 points usually I don't comment on this type of stuff but today it's out of control
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:45:50 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm So Meta Even This Acronym.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
infez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:30 on August 20, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Metc?
aaiaac ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 08:20:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
R/shittyAskScience that way bud
PM_ME_YOUR_BIG_LOAD ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 09:50:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
R/shittySubredditLinks is right here though
BackwardPalindrome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:04:46 on October 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You use /r/ not R/
j6cubic ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 11:20:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can easily tell if processor polarity has been reversed by running a level five diagnostic of the level one cache and multi-modal reflection sorting will take care of the data corruption. What's much harder to detect is a cosmic ray-induced bit flip cascade in the DRAM array, especially if the cosmic ray has ionized your data. In that case all you have left is to configure the 802.11 adapter to emit a polaron beam with a frequency of 47 MHz, which might help.
Source: Just got my A+++ certificate from Starfleet Academy.
program_the_world ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:27:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, idiot. The 802.11 adapter emits a 49MHz polaron beam, not 47MHz. What kind of Starfleet Academy did you go to?
j6cubic ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:04:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The one where you learn that by modulating the power flow on the PSU's 12V rail you can shift the 802.11 adapter's emission spectrum by up to 2.4 MHz in either direction.
Power Modulation 101's an optional course, though, so not everyone who goes for A+++ knows that.
MarcelRED147 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:50:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your professor was a broom? My professor was a dustpan!
stairmast0r ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:16:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I need a 64-bit CPU I just solder together a couple of 32-bit CPUs.
16-bit can work in a pinch
Divine_Wyvern ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:18:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, Professor M. Sweeper. Truly, he has taught us all.
DUMPAH_CHUCKER_69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe, but the tower was under the table and tucked away and cannot feel any wind from the fan.
falconfetus8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This comment gave me a tumor.
MrMeltJr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you're really unlucky, the corruption can lead to your programs to become actual viruses.
luckygiraffe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You studied at BPRD?
SecondhandUsername ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:43 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You need to read more on /r/VXJunkies
waltjrimmer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:39 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then shouldn't you be working with the things that go bump in the night rather than fans and computers?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:33 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back when CRTs were a thing, a table top fan placed close to it could indeed mess up the display.
iNeedBoost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:56 on December 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/sSPIMgtcQnU
Sgp15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:04 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/nocontext
Team_NoCalves ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:23:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If anything, wouldn't the fan improve performance by keeping it marginally cooler?
Brayneeah ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 09:27:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It would depend; it's entirely possible the fan blows into an exhaust hole, which could keep hot air inside the computer, which isn't very good.
DUMPAH_CHUCKER_69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:06:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The computer is below the table and the fan is above, the fan doesn't blow air onto it.
beeblud ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:52:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum and dad were trying to stream something on their Amazon fire stick whilst I was upstairs drying my hair, and it wasn't working. Blamed it on the hairdryer.
DUMPAH_CHUCKER_69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:01:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah unless the fan can use Twitter it's not gonna affect the computer
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:30:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a call back in the 90s that the fan was blowing the pages of a word document. The fan was too close to the CRT monitor and the magnetic field was disrupting the display so that it looked like the fan was blowing the pages of a book.
chux4w ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:46:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The fan could kill the PC if it was set to sleep mode. And Korean.
caffeine_lights ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:37:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fans can be deadly.
No, seriously. In many cultures they literally believe that fan-air is somehow murderous.
FF3LockeZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe she thought it was using up the electricity...?
Disastermath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What world of registers do you guys live in? When I worked retail the register computers were IBM machines from the early 90s with no hint of windows
DUMPAH_CHUCKER_69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They are just PCs with a Point-of-Sale program installed and a card reader and scanner.
Disastermath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh neat, do you work at a newer/local store?
DUMPAH_CHUCKER_69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work at an Ace hardware that got these machines around 2005
BadBoyJH ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:17:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My car engine and wipers interfere with my car radio. Im not ruling out that desk fan fucking her computer up.
dr_faustov ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 07:06:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
True that. I overheard this conversation:
Tech Support: "It seems that the virus rooted from unfinished downloads that had corrupted."
Lady: "HAH I KNEW IT! IT'S HIS (her son) TEAM FORTRESS AND STEAM THAT HE PLAYED EVERY DAY. Take that! I hope he learned his lesson."
I facepalmed for probably a minute there
legitan ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 08:08:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, tech support sounds full of shit as well
Nerdwiththehat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:48:17 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was about to say, how would a virus stem from a corrupted unfinished download wtf
suckswithducks ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 03:10:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah my dad blamed Steam for giving him a virus on his computer back when I didn't have my desktop. He had a Mac.
ICanNoEnglish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:30:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have an umbrella, so what?
SpyderEyez ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 08:18:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad is great at this. My first laptop was absolutely awful, didn't have antivirus protection or anything. When it inevitably got a virus, he blamed "all the crap [I] download off of Reddit and Steam."
Something similar came up in a conversation a few days ago. He actually said "gamers are smart, so they know how to put viruses on games."
TheHeita ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:16:53 on September 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What can you download off of reddit, just out of curiosity
zwei2stein ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 09:44:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, cracks, keygens and various downloaders are pretty dangerous infection vector.
Even with legal stuff, kids will just intall any bundled bloatware that comes along with it without bothering to read what setup says.
(See: Pokemon Go apks kids were installing when it was not released in their countries yer)
Knofbath ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:28:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That myth has a slight basis in reality because of all the viruses and trojans spread by P2P. Little Timmy pirates a game and now the computer has popups.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:53:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Little Timmy needs Malwarebytes and a VM.
Braireos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:10:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Solitaire and pinball can be dangerous and make people violent... it is what the media says about videogames, right?
TheMartinG ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:06:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The old game blame game
galenwolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:18:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My family and friends families did that. At which point I asked them if they scan email attachments with the virus scanner they must have installed. Then I tell them they are at fault when they always say no.
LoraRolla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:13:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They do. Every time i ask people of they use a lot of data: "Well I'm not a gamer. I just watch Netflix and Facebook".
Grapejew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They play the blame game
LeakyLycanthrope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was convinced that MSN Messenger was full of viruses.
RillonDodgers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:55 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was playing solitaire on my grandma's computer and then turned it off. Got a call the next day insisting I had messed up her computer, when all I did was play solitaire, and she blamed the game for messing up her computer. My uncle (her son) looked at her computer and discovered two things. It had 512mb of ram, and a cracked motherboard.
pleasehelpssll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:00 on August 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why
motorsizzle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:01 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad blamed MP3s.
ABigRedBall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:18 on October 25, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck oath. Every problem on my parent's computer was caused by the games me and my brothers installed. This mode of thought carried on for years until I finally got my own half-decent computer. They quickly stopped using it as it reason.
MichaelNevermore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:07 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously. When I was a kid I played on Newgrounds a lot, and when our computer got really slow (it was old, they never shut it down, and would get mad at me when I shut it down), my parents thought Newgrounds was giving it viruses and told me I had to stop playing on it.
In reality, the browser had four or five layers of sketchy toolbars, and they certainly weren't from me.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:27:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously. What Steph meant was that the games on the computer gave the fan a virus, which made it blow the bad air that ruined the computer's Windows.
KitchenSwillForPigs ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:27:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad once blamed Morrowind for giving our computer a virus. My brother eventually explained that it was actually my father's frequent pornography consumption on sketchy fucking websites.
AlmightyRuler ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:57:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Minesweeper. It'll getcha everytime.
_TheGreatDekuTree_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:16:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Those weren't mines, those were dormant viruses that have now awoken!
BizzyM ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:43:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My store manager unplugged the handheld barcode scanner because "it causes cancer".
SMTTT84 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:50:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in 2002 when our computer was running slow my step dad would blame all the music I had downloaded which usually resulted in heated arguments. No dad, its not the music, its the virus I downloaded along with the music.
Ledpoizn445 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:21:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What was the real problem (if any)?
FloridyTwo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:23:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They obviously needed to download more RAM.
DUMPAH_CHUCKER_69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't in the day it broke down and I'm just the cashier/ stock, they probably won't say anything.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:22:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know, you can use that as excuse to fool somebody and they will totally believe you. They'll be like, " this guy know some shit".
calledpipes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:53:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Find did used to mess up my old crt monitor if you had the fan too close. The magnet in the motor caused the screen to ripple as the fan turned.
I can see how that would have worried an illiterate person.
DUMPAH_CHUCKER_69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The monitors are new
warkyizfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work as a lead tech at Lowe's and a fan on the same circuit as the registers can affect point of sale devices. We have dedicated power just for these devices that are color coded, people still can't figure it out and plug fans and other various things into them all the time
DUMPAH_CHUCKER_69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait how does that happen? To me it makes no sense.
warkyizfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Signature Capture devices need a clean and constant flow of electricity, if it drops or surges in any way they won't work correctly.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My last boss told me putting a cell charger in a power saver could fry our computers. Wtf
hypervelocityvomit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:45:22 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Found the employee with 0.7 KDR!
OfAaron3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:04 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In high school, if you had a fan running too close to a monitor (it must've been an old cathode one, but I can't remember for sure), it would somehow interfere with the monitor. It looked like the monitor had just dropped acid.
MrSneaky64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:37 on September 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The fan was blowing and the computer got a cold! Don'cha know?
motorsizzle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:43 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*any way is two words in this case
DUMPAH_CHUCKER_69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:47 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I literally posted this over a month ago, what are you doing?
thomasech ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:46 on October 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of a truly legendary customer from when I worked in the call center for my VoIP company.
So this lady worked for a super sketchy company that would send you a phone and pay you based on how many tickets you closed. If you closed no tickets, you didn't get paid for your full shift. Anyway, this lady - let's call her Pam - has issues with her sound. She can hardly hear anything.
So one of our techs calls Pam and starts working with her - they test her network, the whole nine yards, get some call examples. All the while, Pam is practically yelling at them and telling them they can barely hear her, and they can hear her fine. What they can also hear, quite loudly, is a fan. They ask Pam to turn off her fan.
She can't - there's no A/C in her office. Can she try, they ask, just in case? She does. Suddenly, she can hear the tech on the phone. Everything is crystal clear. But she can't just move the fan off her desk (wut) or move it further away from the phone or turn it off, she says. She couldn't breathe, because it would be too damp.
So the call ends, begrudgingly. We get another ticket - Pam is now having issues with echo. As it turns out, without the fan on, Pam's voice is now echoing around the room, and she can't hear herself think because sometimes it echoes back through the phone, too. Isn't there anything we can do to fix the echo?
We proceeded to get about eight more tickets from Pam, each leading back to a loud fan or a bare wooden room echoing back her voice, and then nothing for about two years. Two years later, she has an audio issue. We go through the testing. This time, it's the microphone - that she spilled water on.
Oh, Pam.
tl;dr: VoIP customer has loud fan. Turns out the fan covered up the echo from her bare, damp office. Opens up multiple tickets for audio issues because of it.
cwigs96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:52 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I heard a story once about an ancient mainframe's memory getting corrupted because there was a pencil sharpener attached to the same power strip as the mainframe. The sharper was causing power fluctuations within the power strip, and when memory was being written, that messed things up.
I'm not trying to say that's possible, but I'm not trying to say it's not either
DUMPAH_CHUCKER_69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:43 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's interesting.
If I may ask, what are you doing on a thread that's 3 months old?
cwigs96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:46 on November 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was on another thread and got linked here; somebody was referencing the SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU I'M NOT A COMPUTER PERSON thing. I started scrolling down and reading other comments, and one thing led to another.
[deleted] ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 06:13:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, fans provide ventilation for computers by directing airflow through heatsinks. This allows the computer to run for extended periods of time without failing due to heat.
noseonarug17 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:00:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure if this is supposed to be a serious comment but one, he's talking about a table top fan, and two, no shit sherlock.
igdub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:17:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Could've mistaken it for cpu fan error as well, shows up on boot. That's what I thought happened first.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:02:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DUMPAH_CHUCKER_69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry it was a table top fan
vededju ยท 5514 points ยท Posted at 19:56:26 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom trying to calculate her medical expenses for tax purposes. She went through her pile of bills and typed the amount from each bill into an excel sheet. She then printed off the sheet and used a calculator to find the total.
OvaltineDeathFantasy ยท 3187 points ยท Posted at 20:23:25 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh so close, mom!
iamalwaysrelevant ยท 735 points ยท Posted at 23:37:33 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I really hope OP taught his mom a few functions after witnessing this.
Azzizzi ยท 782 points ยท Posted at 02:07:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You don't even need functions. Just select all the numbers and look for the sum in the bottom right corner.
buttpincher ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 05:37:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit TIL
HotTyre ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:22:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes you have to activate it by right-clicking in the bottom of the window and selecting which options you want displayed, it also has min, max, average...
zangor ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 12:04:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just don't select gastrointestinal.
bumps- ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 14:32:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
2meta2soon
minotaurbranch ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 09:23:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
funky... buttloving...
motasticosaurus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:30:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And you can change the value to be count, average etc.
GeenMachine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:35:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
#ฮฃLife
Nerdwiththehat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:07 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
EXCEL 101 DAVE REALLY
MrCoolioPants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:10 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No matter what you do in excel, somebody has found a faster way.
buttpincher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:16 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
True but I'm wondering how you found this comment... I mean the post is 57 days old. Were you searching for a specific topic and stumbled upon this? Genuinely curious.
MrCoolioPants ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:44:59 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got linked here from /r/talesfromtechsupport or something.
therealkainoa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You don't even need a computer just type the numbers into a calculate in the first place.
RobertFKennedy ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 05:25:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You don't to do that. Just use a calculator.
mlgbacklot ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 05:58:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hey, you know Excel? Have you got a minute? I need your help.
wannabesq ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:24:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/excel
fork-and-spoon ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 11:15:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A COMPUTER PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP
MuttyMo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:20:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SIR, I am NOT a computer person, so I don't know what that is!
BNNJ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:27:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yea but... what if it's wrong ?
How can i trust the computer to compute properly ?
silentanthrx ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:06:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
funny fact, NO
the pentium 66 had some bug in it [miscalulation_computer]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pentium_FDIV_bug
edit: screw it i am not a hyperlink guy hanging up now!
hypervelocityvomit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:45 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Still close than what I tend to do sometimes: [$URL]($text) - which is the order <A HREF> uses.
Sharks758 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:04:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well then why do you trust the calculator?
Azzizzi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:00:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Along those same lines, I knew a lady who didn't trust the spell check, so she was replacing words with how she thought they should be spelled.
BNNJ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:10:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll make my own spellcheck with mistakes and errors !
JackHarrison1010 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:22:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But then I have to use my mouse.
blakeinalake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:23:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine says count. I guess I'll just have to print this table-sheet out and use a calculator
jamesthegill ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:46:19 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What the hell?! My total keeps increasing by an increment of 1 every minute!
Azzizzi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:45:40 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen this before. For some strange reason, it only goes to 1259 before resetting itself to 100.
sethreneneon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:21:17 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I didn't learn what the Sum symbol was until I was taking calculus in college.
AnonymousGuy767 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:02:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think this was a feature prior to Office 2007 however (Office 2003, Office XP, and Office 97 were the prior versions).
saveid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is a function, smartass.
Azzizzi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:55:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a function in the sense that you're teaching someone a function of the program, but not a function in the sense that it means in Excel. A function in Excel would be something like this:
=sum(A1:A15)
I wasn't trying to be a smartass. I think showing someone how to do something by selecting the right cells is infinitely better than trying to teach them how to do functions.
saveid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:26:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I meant smartass in a good way, thanks for being calm about it too, hf gl.
Azzizzi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cool. Thanks for clarifying.
CubemonkeyNYC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No it's not. You don't actually enter the function. By default, Excel will sum a group of highlighted cells in the bottom of the window.
SaladAndEggs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:08:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it easier to go the next blank cell and click "sum all"?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or Alt+=
horrorshowmalchick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:32:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or type the numbers directly into the calculator.
Armond436 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:54:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who works more in visual studio than excel, holy shit they're in the corner?!
Azzizzi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:48:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, I'd been working with Excel for years before I realized that and someone had to show me. You can also have it change them by clicking on them.
WhiteRabbit86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dafuq? What dark wizardry is this? Seriously, I just learned something awesome!
AlexanderESmith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sum is a function... :p
Stacia_Asuna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you took precalc (my school's "dumb track" hits it by senior year) you likely vaguely remember the jagged E thing. (Sigma) - highlight, then hit the "math class PTSD button" for the sum.
Quantum_Rum ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 05:26:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry I showed OPs mom my penis.
ChickenTitilater ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:34:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh so close, mom!
ThisIsntMyUsernameHi ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:35:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grade A joke ๐๐
strumpster ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:51:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I taught OP's mom a few functions
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:03:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Awkward... she said your function=AVERAGE at best.
kaywhaaat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:29:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He could TRY but if shes anything like my mom you show her something 20 times, even make a printscreen slideshow of what she has to do, and she will STILL not be able to figure it out. Ugh. Uggghhhhh.
FF3LockeZ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:30:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Never do this. Never teach them. Once you do, you become the person they ask.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:34:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only if she had broken arms.
Zentaurion ยท -42 points ยท Posted at 23:51:01 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He couldn't, both his wrists were broken.
bagel_creator ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 00:41:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No. We are not doing this.
StopReadingMyUser ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 01:50:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But OP's mom is ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 03:19:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
StopReadingMyUser ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:23:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whoo boy, here we go! แ( แ )แ
Xtinguish ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 04:36:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Woah, he didn't die afterwards he just fucked her
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:34:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every thread. It could be a thread about depression or favorite elementary school memories, but this still shows up.
Absinthe_Minded_1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:29:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand what this is. Explain?
Unseenmonument ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:33:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here you go, and I am sorry
cleeder ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:40:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody really set you up for that joke.
smudgyblurs ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:19:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People should be allowed to discuss their mother without some dipshit bringing up that meme for the millionth time. Give it a rest.
pm_me_your_cock_l ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 04:34:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This will ALWAYS make me laugh. Every fucking time.
all_the_good_ones ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:11:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Swing and a miss...
Eddie_Hitler ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 00:02:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I had a similar situation about 12 years ago. My dad was running a charity evening and had an Excel spreadsheet of people who had bought what type and how many tickets, how much they'd paid etc.
It was all calculated manually - no formulae. So if someone had bought 4 adult tickets at ยฃ3.99 each and 2 child tickets at ยฃ1.50 each, there would be a cell containing the total that would just have ยฃ18.96 manually typed in rather than =(B2*(3.99))+(C2*(1.5)) or similar.
Quite easy to fix. I even gave him an automatically updating cell which just did SUM to get the total amount sold and total money raised.
Peter_LaFleur ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:13:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This wins. This is so bad. Literally just a selection away
VladimirsPoutine ยท 137 points ยท Posted at 23:00:59 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I find this oddly charming
TheScyphozoa ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 08:49:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really? I find it moderately sickening.
_TheGreatDekuTree_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really?! I find myself midly hungry.
nathanjaker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:38:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Charmed by OP's mom, are you?
mauxly ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:18:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for your mom? My old boss did the same thing, didn't 'trust' excel.
She also happened to be a manager in the bursars office at a university....
mrpeck123 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:28:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For the record, I don't know how to do this. I am computer savvy. I would just google it in this situation but up until recently I didn't realize you could do math in excel as I just never had to use it in school thus far.
takeandbake ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 02:36:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
pro tip--there are a lot of white collar jobs that use Excel. If you are planning to work in an office some day, learn basic Excel functions before you start. Even if you don't retain all of it, it'll make it easier to google it later when you need it.
mrpeck123 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:46:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually am working in an office this summer and am slowly learning some stuff.
ValorousVagabond ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:53:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was offered a job three weeks ago that was basically just 90% Excel. The pay wasn't great, but it would've been a great first job out of college.
mrpeck123 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:58:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm definitely planning on learning soon. I'm only going to be a sophomore so I have time.
redditnamehere ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:54:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You may not find the need , but not only using it, but making the presentation look more purposeful is important. After ten years in IT, my company transferred me into data analyst and I've learned a great deal even though I'm looking for a job back in IT now. Definitely a marketable skill.
Make headers large enough, color code areas of importance, use bold strategically.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:52:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Excel is by far the most useful computer program in my personal life and career as an Engineer. I use it more than anything else.
SleepSeeker75 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:55:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How old are you? Excel is literally for math. That's its sole, basic function.
If your making lists, use word.
redbluegreenyellow ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:15:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not its sole function; it's for data, period. Obviously math is a large part of it but it's not the sole function.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:50:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
NO. For the love of God NO.
Excel is not for data. Access is for data. Excel is for math on a spreadsheet.
For the love of god, if I have to deal with one more excel "database" I will throw my computer out the window.
redbluegreenyellow ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:11:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
News flash: people use things differently than you.
You'll never have to deal with my spreadsheets so calm down.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:15:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Listen, I understand that. I get it.
But if you're actually doing data work as a career or professionally, you should not be doing it in excel. Excel is absolutely, 100%, not made for data and is terrible at working data. It's a spreadsheet/math program. Microsoft specifically created a separate program called Access to work with data, and it works great. If you work with data professionally, and you do it in Excel, you are doing it wrong and probably hurting your prospects long-term.
redbluegreenyellow ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:21:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll tell my boss that, I'm sure he'll love to hear that what he does is horrible and awful.
I do what I'm told professionally. I also use excel at home for casual things. You should probably go cower on the corner for how absolutely awful I am.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:35:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whatever dude I'm just trying to help. You're probably losing non-trivial amounts of productivity by using the wrong tool for the job at hand.
And yes, you should tell your boss that, and begin migrating everything into Access. Because eventually, using Excel as a database will bite you in the ass. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it will happen, guaranteed.
cpsmith58 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have done a lot of database stuff (I used to use FoxPro, a dBase clone only better) and I am forced to use Excel for a data a lot. I would love to be able to do queries in Excel. I have Access. I hate it, it's not the most intuitive program. But you can do queries!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't tell me, tell that other guy.
evylllint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:13 on August 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. The business analytics team at my company has spreadsheets with several hundred thousand lines. And then they complain that spreadsheets are talking forever. We told them that using Access would likely alleviate the problems.
Nope. They decided to continue using these monstrous spreadsheets, and to also purchase a $12k "supercomputer" to "address the slowness."
Wtf.
mrpeck123 ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 02:57:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ calm down I'm almost 20. I've literally never had to use excel except to make list when we were taught the bare minimums in middle school. I'm very good at using all the other MS programs.
SleepSeeker75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't upset, you misread my tone.
I'm kind if shocked that by 20, you don't know excel is a math program. That's its function. Definitely look into some simple formulas, it's a really great program and if you go anywhere in the white collar world, you'll need to be at least proficient, if not intermediate.
mrpeck123 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it shouldn't be that hard to believe that I don't know a program after going through only US high school and one year of college.its not like I've actively avoided using it, I literally had one non required class in middle school where we made a list of NFL Quarterbacks and their stats. But let me tell you about one of the 10 books we had to annotate on every page of, or how when I finally took an economics class in senior year, we watched movies everyday. US high school is a joke that made me think I was ready to dive into a STEM field in college, I was wrong and now I don't even know what I want to do. This got too personal. But yeah, I don't know excel yet.
kskyline ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:43:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like your particular school system found STEM a joke...which is a disappointment because it drives every bit of technology and non-social progress we've ever known. I'm wondering if your school is in the bible belt. I was pissed off enough that my bible belt school never truly emphasized the importance of basic programming literacy since it will form an important part of all of our futures (and certainly can play a role in excel usage)...but I still extensively used Excel...not just for school with math and chemistry classes (a lot here since we had to graph equations from data) but also calculating expenses for things at home. It still boggles my mind that in the generation we're in with someone your age that you've never experienced Excel in such a way. And people wonder why there are arguments for better education. Fuck Bobby Jindal and all the like for ever giving education a backseat because cuts there are supposedly better to them than cuts anywhere else. I'm trying so hard not to label political parties right now...a more educated society only leads to a more developed society. How the fuck can they so selfishly not realize that. /rant
aqua_zesty_man ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:35:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not just math, my friend. Excel has functions for all kinds of things if you know how to use them.
Ihateallofyouequally ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:14:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, it's super easy to learn. I learned it in a weekend. It's actually pretty cool, I found out I can run regressions on this thing, and maintain small databases. It's kinda like am intro program to doing math/stats/database management. I was rather shocked when I interviewed for a data science job and they told me they only use excel, I didn't even know you could use excel for any of those things until very recently.
joshi38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's surprising to me. Not that I don't believe you, but I guess they just don't teach that stuff in school anymore (or didn't I'm not sure if you're older or younger than me). I was taught the basics of Excel, Word, Powerpoint and Access (yeah I know) at the age of around 14-15.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mrpeck123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not that I know of
tjeco ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:39:16 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So close and yet so far
Molotor ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:22:37 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i love this one
WarLorax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:55:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had an assistant that used a calculator to calculate the sales tax to enter into an accruals spreadsheet. She looked at me like I was a wizard when I showed her the formula of B1=A1*1.13.
TheMightyFishBus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:40:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A real call I got once: Me: "Tax Support, how can I help you?" Them: "I'm not able to find my taxes!" Me: "Okay what are you using to calculate them?" Them: "SIR, I am NOT a taz person so I don't know." Me: "Do you know which program you're using?" Them: "I don't know what that is!" Me: "Okay, when you want to go to your files, are they green Xs, yellow folders, or..." Them: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A TAX PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"
Assorted_Jellymemes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:38:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
IGNORE ALL THE CROSSED OUT STUFF I'M LEAVING IT FOR CONTEXT IN CASE SOMEONE REPLIES
>A real call I got once: Me: "Tax Support, how can I help you?" Them: "I'm not able to find my taxes!" Me: "Okay what are you using to calculate them?" Them: "SIR, I am NOT a taz person so I don't know." Me: "Do you know which program you're using?" Them: "I don't know what that is!" Me: "Okay, when you want to go to your files, are they green Xs, yellow folders, or..." Them: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A TAX PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"Did you now?http://www.reddit.com/r/askreddit/comments/4vo64d/_/d604v2wEdit: as I keep seeing these I figured out it's some kind of local meme now, nevermind...
StandUp_Chic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So many people don't know all the great functions of Excel.
saasee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom did the same thing
dkdeathknight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pro-tip: select an empty cell below the numbers you entered and press Alt+ '=' to auto-generate an appropriate sum formula.
2manymans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This gave me chills. So close and yet....
Dirty-Freakin-Dan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom knows how to use excel? and print?
Flamo_the_Idiot_Boy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone asked me how to delete the contents of an Excel cell once.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In this same vein, my friends mom once hand wrote down the URLS of several funny videos she wanted him to see, and mailed them to him. As in, the actual mail.
coolfir3pwnz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This kills the tech-savvy millennial
eekstatic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is really sweet.
I discovered that a coworker--an admin, no less--does this when he sent me a spreadsheet with a sum that was way off. Selected the cell. No formula. I goggled at him in horror and taught him how to do basic calculations on Excel. He was absolutely amazed. It's sad really because his boss is elderly and tyrannical, so who's going to teach him how this stuff works or tell him he's doing unnecessary labour?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I see shit like this at work all the time.
I didn't realise why so many office workers took forever to do everything until I started watching how people actually used computers.
They do things the same way they do stuff on paper, but on a computer. Makes me wonder why we even have computers for the majority of office users, buy them some legal pads and stationary, save yourself the money.
You know how the industrial revolution started with people doing things by hand then being given machines to save labour?
It would appear in the digital revolution the majority of people just lean on the machines to do their paperwork, they never really turned them on or learned how to use them.
It's the equivalent of a factory buying a million pound tube bender then clamping tube to it so you can bend it by hand. Or hiring a JCB to store your shovels in when you're not digging by hand.
Boggles the mind how far behind the service industry is compared to heavy industry.
green_meklar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some years ago, I saw someone with some lists of numbers in Excel, carefully adding them up and typing in the result in the next column over. I leaned over and said "You know, you can just do this, it's faster." and typed in a formula and filled it down the whole column.
The other person's reaction: "This thing does Math?"
DWillows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
even as someone fairly computer literate, It took me so long to realize excel could do more than just contain things in the cells. I always assumed they were for just writing up a list or table for something with static numbers. Actually learning about functions and stuff made me realize i should probably take "know's how to use excel" off my resume.
scottharman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That made me laugh - my Mother in Law likes to check Excel by doing the same thing - she doesn't trust excel and trusts her crappy transcription into a manual calculator
PM_ME_CHUBBY_GALS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:57:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So, it's silly that she used a calculator when obviously it's so simple to get sums in Excel. But the kicker is, why did she print them out? She can just type them in the calculator right off the screen...
goawaysab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:06:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I did something similar, I put all the numbers in the excel sheet. I was sure there was a way to get them all together so I looked it up, gave up, and did it by hand. At least I didn't print it!
BikerRay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:05:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Summer student we had asked me to show her how to sum a column in Excel. Spent two minutes showing her how. She said "Thanks, now I can put 'knows Excel' on my resume."
medic8388 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen people doing shit like this in the office.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work with people that use excel every day and they do this.
Sergeant_Rainbow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've had many university students do similar things when they have to input lab data in to excel and calculate a bunch of stuff. First they calculate something on their calculators, input the numbers into various random cells, and then they use their calculators again to calculate whatever they're supposed to calculate next with those numbers, and on it goes.
To most people excel is just a giant notebook with squares you can type things in, and few schools teach proper exceliquette or any spreadsheeting at all :(
El_mochilero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Change Excel to Word, and you have my dad.
ModernPoultry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She used Excel at least
jajohns9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:52 on October 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother in law's job revolves around excel databases, but she will manually compare names and write down if they are the same or not, and keeps a calculator on her desktop for adding it all up. She gets really upset when I try to show her things like if statements or just functions in general.
theamazingsteve1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:34 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 16 and I'd not have printed it but still done that. They don't teach Excel in school anymore.
vededju ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:41 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let me give you a tip. You don't even need to do a formula. Just highlight all the numbers and at the bottom right of Excel it will have the average, count, and sum of the highlighted numbers.
theamazingsteve1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:29 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, cool beans. Thanks dude.
JackAceHole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I understand the point of your post, but what could be the difference in her mind between typing the numbers in Excel versus Word or Notepad? Just because she likes the automatic formatting of dollar signs and decimal points?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:16:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
KEK
tommyhreddit ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 22:55:23 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Little did she know that she could have Excel calculate the sum. :(
Kernigerts ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:35:46 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the point.
Abu_Hajaar123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:25:55 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know that excel can do that but I don't know the magic words to make it happen.
Dr_Snarky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:20 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Literally only the word 'sum()'
Mynameisinuse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
autosum for the lazy
GLOOTS_OF_PEACE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you don't even need to type anything, you can just select all the cells with numbers in them together, and it will show you the total in the bottom corner.
Ramrod312 ยท 2761 points ยท Posted at 19:51:30 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not strictly a computer but years ago my Uncle called my dad on Christmas morning pretty pissed off:
"Ramrod312's dad, how the fuck do you get this damn playstation to work? I finally was able to save up and get one for the kids, but the fucking thing doesn't turn on. It's broken"
"Is it plugged in?"
".....thanks"
jerdub1993 ยท 1048 points ยท Posted at 00:53:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Got this call the other day:
User: "Hey man, I'm having trouble logging in."
Me: "Did you check if the power cable is plugged in? Because if it's not plugged in, you won't be able to log in."
U: "Of course I checked that, I'm not an idiot."
M: "Alright, well I'll send someone over to check it out."
5 minutes go by. User calls back.
U: "Hey, I'm good now... The network cable was unplugged."
Zveng2 ยท 597 points ยท Posted at 01:22:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I learned pretty quickly when doing calls like that to simply ask if the cable was loose or something similar since if you ask if the cable was unplugged people get pissy. It makes them check and gives them an out so if it was unplugged they don't have to admit it to you.
TwoHeadsBetter ยท 612 points ยท Posted at 01:49:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sometimes the electrons get stuck. Can you unplug the blue cord and shake them loose real quick, then plug it back in?"
Zveng2 ยท 114 points ยท Posted at 01:52:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You laugh, but I'm fairly sure I could convince some of the people I've spoken to in the past that that is a real thing.
GreatBabu ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 11:13:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Heh.. "some".
girrrrrrr2 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:28:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I tell them it got dirty to pull it out and blow on it.
chedyot ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:24:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/shittechpeoplesay
Kappalord123_5 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:59:00 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I really wanted that to be real.
KDBA ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 03:39:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer to ask them to blow the dust off the contacts then plug it back in.
Gl0riousGr0uch ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:37:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My buddy used to work at a Dell Call center back in the Philippines. His last call was with a shitty old guy who wouldnt stop talking shit long enough to let him talk.
Finally the call was coming to a close, but he asked about CD burning.
$Bud
~ Alright Insert the CD into the drive
$Ahole
~ Okay its in
$Bud
~ Now drag and drop a file in the disk drive (walks him through the proccess)
$Ahole
~ I dont know how this is suppo- Its making noises
$Bud
~ (After it finishes) Alright now sniff the CD
$Ahole
~ alright..... It smells burnt
$Bud
~ And thats how you know the Burn was successful.
Nakopa ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:09:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ill remember this, maybe now people will listen
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:16:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just give them any instruction beyond what you really want them to do. If you want them to check a cable, tell them to unplug it and do something, then plug it back in. If you want them to reboot, tell them to turn off the computer and wait ten seconds, then start it up again. Distract them from the fact that you're asking them to check the most obvious things by giving them a task they never would have thought of.
GalerionTheMystic ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:04:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The dust clogs up the electrons, and so they require water to be applied to the cable.
Ultimate common sense test!
dramboxf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:10:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"A token ring probably got caught in the Ethernet."
(With apologies to Scott Adams.)
C-C-X-V-I ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:35:51 on December 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an industrial mechanic. Connections get corroded, and sometimes if you unplug a wire and plug it back in a couple times you'll fix the issue because it scrapes the corrosion off. Mostly happens in low power ones like 24 volt circuits.
romulusbc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:06 on September 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your comment just made me realize all those times the ISP (Hughes Net... ughh) told me as a child to unplug the cable and touch the end "to disperse the static" they really just didn't believe that I had already tried unplugging it and turning it off and all that.
IT TOOK THEM TWO YEARS OF ME CALLING TWICE A WEEK FOR THOSE ASSHOLES TO CHECK AND EXPLAIN TO 11 YEAR OLD ME THAT WE HAD A THING CALLED A DATA CAP!
Once I figured that out, I just scheduled Kazaa to run late at night when it didn't effect the cap, and it worked fine (as close as their service ever got to fine) until we just dropped all internet at my parents house.
Literally days of my life have been wasted on the phone with those fuckers!
Now its my mission to actively dissuade anyone from getting their service, even if I hear the conversation in passing from people I don't know.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:37:12 on October 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://dilbert.com/strip/1996-05-02
hgfdsgvh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:28 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nailed it!
kaywhaaat ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:42:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah when i did tech we were trained specifically to NOT ask if its plugged in because they get butthurt, but to always ask them to unplug it and plug it back in instead. Helps them save face a bit if it wasnt plugged in, which happens more than people think.
Or maybe it IS plugged in but not all the way, taking it out and putting it back in would solve that!
porkyminch ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:12:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really like 90% of computer problems can be solved by:
A) Rebooting
B) Unplugging things and plugging them back in
Reseating cables inside the machine can fix even more stuff.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:45:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And 90% of the time, people won't do that if you ask them. So you ask them something overly specific, like turning it off, waiting 30 seconds, then starting it again. To "clear the cache" or "unwind the capacitor" or whatever.
OneRedSent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:29:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The baby's coming! Go boil some water.
Kickinthegonads ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:10:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm having a baby in a couple of weeks and I think it would be hilarious to go: "ok, doc, here's the boiled water and the wet towels, what do we do now?", just to fuck with his head, hahaha. My wife would not be amused though, so I'll refrain.
shelf_satisfied ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:30:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. I'd always ask if everything was "securely connected". Even if they don't get pissy about you asking if it's unplugged, they typically only take a quick look under the desk to make sure their piles of papers and shoes are all in the same place as before, meaning nothing has been disturbed.
letuswatchtvinpeace ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:04:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked in tech support for internet connection we would always have them unplug from the power source and then turn the ethernet cable around, 5/7 it always worked.
needsmoresteel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:14:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We tended to ask people to reseat the power and network cables as a strategy to make them seem smart, or have an out, when they realized the cables were unplugged.
dramboxf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
After doing this for almost 30 years, whenever I see someone make a boneheaded mistake I just say, "Hey, I've done the same thing myself a few times," even if I never have. It take five seconds to make someone not feel like such an idiot, and it costs me nothing.
ArbyMelt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:57:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I heard one "reverse the network cable that plugs into your computer from the wall. Sometimes the polarity gets messed up"
hiyoo000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always tell them to "unplug and re-plug the network cable making sure it really 'clicks' when it goes in."
I've dealt with too many "Internet issues" because the tab broke off of the cable and it was slightly pulled out.
_Hollish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If the cable is the same on both ends (i.e. Ethernet) I always had them unplug both ends, flip the cable around, and plug it back in. I made up some BS about how the connectors can compress and disconnect if left in the same jack, and need to be moved to a different jack to continue working properly.
weres_youre_rhombus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You sir/madam are a god/goddess among men/woman/mortals.
Henniferlopez87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:01:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My SO works from home, went to login for work and had no connection. So they traced the cable back to our lazy, good for nothing room mates Xbox. SO: "What are you doing?" Lazy AF RM: "oh I just found this cable laying around and playing online is so much fast with the cable." SO: "I use that for my work computer you moron."
PM_ME_CHUBBY_GALS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:11:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
These people are the reason I always have to ask for a tier 2 tech. Yes, I've already done literally everything you are going to ask me.
Alaybeth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:03:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a completely computer illiterate colleague at work who was without a computer for three days because it wasn't working. She was shy an timidly asked IT to come look but they never showed up, finally she asked to speak to them for her. I call and tell them its ridiculous that her computer has been broken for three days and someone should come up immediately. Within 5 minutes an IT guy comes up, plugs the computer in and leaves.
I have never been so mortified or felt so guilty. Now whenever anyone tells me something isn't working I always check it myself first before calling someone out to fix it.
eternally-curious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, the power cable was plugged in.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
jerdub1993 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Used to be in Norfolk, but not anymore.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
jerdub1993 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wrong again.
Kharos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:19:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"So you are an idiot."
kommissar_chaR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not an idiot = I'm definitely an idiot.
hgfdsgvh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:30 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if you start with "okey, so I'm pretty sure I'm an idiot..."
j6cubic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:29:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Heh. I did that with a car. The thing wouldn't start and in fact wouldn't even respond to the key at all. We quickly determined that the starter was unresponsive but were unable to troubleshoot beyond that. The car's owner is a member in an automobile club, however, so we called them for onsite assistance.
Then we remembered that you can start a car by pushing it. It worked. We called the club to inform them that their assistance wasn't needed anymore just when they were about to call us to let us know they'd be there within the next five minutes.
Bonus points: The repair shop later checked the starter and found that the power cable had shaken loose. Then they plugged it back in and the car was fine. Three people had looked directly at the thing and nobody had noticed the missing power cable.
AceEpocs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:45:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always ask people to unplug the cable and plug it back in. That way they have to get down and do it.
[deleted] ยท 346 points ยท Posted at 23:26:47 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
NotThtPatrickStewart ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 05:36:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've been on the other side of this, sadly. Born in '86, so by the time I hit high school computers were quite common, but desktops were still more common than laptops. I had an old MacBook, and at like 19 was the first time I used a PC laptop.
I could NOT get it to find my wifi, finally called tech support, kind of upset. Talked to them for a good half hour, they couldn't fix it. Kept asking me if my wifi was on, and I kept getting more worked up telling them yes.
Finally the guy said "just so we are very clear, the switch, on the outside of your computer, for the wifi, it's on, right?"
About ten seconds of dead silence, and finally, me, "why the fuck does that switch exist??" Not my proudest moment.
OneRedSent ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:30:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My neighbor just picked up a laptop with a switch like that. I was trying to show him how to use it and spent a good hour wondering why it wouldn't connect to my wifi then remembered the existence of those switches. I also wonder why the fuck they were invented.
GreatBabu ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:14:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can usually turn it off in the BIOS. Then it's just a switch that does diddly.
OneRedSent ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:22:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good to know! He did call me over once about a week later because he had flipped the switch by mistake, but he seems to be a fast learner and I don't think he'll do it again.
GreatBabu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:31:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Happens all the time here when they're put in or taken out of the laptop bags, so we've just taken to disabling them, and showing them how to do it via the icon in windows if they have connectivity issues when on a dock/lan.
silentdragon95 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:45:17 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant video
TheRealBrosplosion ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:38:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, I do R&D on some pretty cool tech and this shit happens all the time.
celsiusnarhwal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Technically literate people do this all the time. You'd be surprised.
Kyanche ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The most technically literate people I know have done it by accident too lol.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
s317sv17vnv ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:48:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma, who lives in a nursing home, forgets to charge her phone sometimes, and she calls a nurse for help when it won't turn on. The nurse, when she can't figure out why the phone won't turn on either, immediately uses the main line to call my mom, to which my mom asks "was the phone charged?" because she doesn't want to waste her time and money driving out there just to attach a phone to a charger.
Trying to teach grandpa how to use a cell phone was equally as funny in that he never took his phone off the charger. He never had a cordless phone, so he thought the charger cable was a phone cord. We didn't realize he thought this until one day when we were at his house and he got a call on his cell phone and during the conversation he set the phone down so he could get something in another room. We had to explain to him the point of a "mobile phone."
joelthezombie15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ya I just built a new pc a few weeks ago and freaked out because I forgot to connect the power cable from the wall to the PC.
I plugged it into the wall. But not the pc...
AlmightyRuler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The first question you ask on an IT desk:
"Is it plugged in, and does it have power?"
Otter_Baron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:42:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't figure out why my desktop wasn't turning on after I built it. I thought I really messed up somewhere along the lines. Turns out I didn't flip the switch for the power supply at the base of my tower.
I felt awfully silly right then.
SACKO_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:05 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This actually happened to me ther other day. To my defense, I thought it was already plugged in.
Hobbstet ยท 147 points ยท Posted at 00:17:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can relate, I built a computer and was flipping out when it wouldn't turn on when someone asked me if I had pressed the on button. Never have I felt so stupid
AraEnzeru ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 05:59:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I built my first computer I forgot to flip the switch on the power supply to let it turn on. Started panicking when the on button didn't work, I thought I had fucked up the computer I had spent months meticulously picking parts out for.
dal_segno ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:14:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've done that too. Honestly, you mess with the PS switch so rarely that I just didn't think of it until my third (or sixth) time pressing the power button like a dumbass.
EndOfNight ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:05:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Soo, by the time you got it finally made, it was all old stuff? :p
AraEnzeru ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:18:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep! But it's mine and I love it anyway :P
I was on a budget so I was price hunting everything. It's not top of the line, but it can run every game I've tried pretty well. I can't ask for any more than that.
Elrondel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dunno if you're being sarcastic here, but some of us waited months for the release of the 1070/1080s and then another few weeks waiting for aftermarkets to come in stock. Definitely not old but if you had heard of the tech beforehand you'd spend some months waiting for it.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:47:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
flubba86 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:30:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've tricked myself with that old chestnut before.
Cakepufft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I have loud computer.
coolfir3pwnz ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:26:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
DUDE. I built my current PC with 2 sick new GPUs and when I went to open up CS:GO, I noticed that the graphics looked horrendous. I spent the next half hour re-installing drivers and shit only to figure out that I had the monitor plugged into the onboard graphics.
ur not alone friendo
Uniacc1234 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 10:28:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There was a guy over on r/pcmasterrace who had two 760s in SLI and played with his onboard graphics for two years.
chisoph ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:04:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That made me physically cringe
coolfir3pwnz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:18:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't say with any degree of certainty that I'd have the will to keep living after something like that.
venustrapsflies ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:55:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
in your defense there are (at least?) 2 on-buttons, one for the power supply and one that turns on your motherboard
hicow ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:04:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The PSU switch is the one gets me. Every. single. time.
xspartanx117x ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:04:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I forgot to plug in the cpu power cable and was freaking out as to why it would turn on for a split second and then turn off when I realized there was a cpu power cable
porkyminch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:13:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a little different though, I think a lot of people end up forgetting about that stuff just because they're worried about fucking up the build.
Ucantalas ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:38:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...the little power switch on the back got me when I built my latest computer. Started getting worried that I fucked up, then realized I didn't have that turned on...
I_downvote_typos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:18:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What had you tried? I can't picture this scenario..
flubba86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:29:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. "I've tried nothing, and its not turning on." It doesn't make any sense.
Maybe it was "I finished building it, plugged in my monitor, mouse, and keyboard. I would have expected to power itself on by now."
TheCox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:36:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On my first ever computer build, I didn't have the heat sink in properly. This was an antec 900 case. One of the big heavy cases.
Anyways, i take it to Best Buy, yeah I know I know. But I was still a wide eyed die in the tech world and didn't know better. The computer would only turn on if it was on its side. I was so confused.
Luckily when I got to Best Buy, geek squad wanted to charge me like a hundred bucks to figure it out.
The guy put his hand on the heat sink and goes hey man, that heat sink is a little wobbly.
I didn't have the heat sink in all the way. Told the guy thanks buddy and walked out
Fixed the heat sink and everything was good to go.
OneRedSent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:31:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did that with my first cell phone.
ForensicCashew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I did my first build, I accidentally reversed the power on and restart buttons. Spent a good 20 minutes trying to figure out why it wouldn't turn on, until my mom suggested I hit the restart button. Turned right on.
Graadash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:49:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I put my computer together I forgot to plug the power button into the motherboard. Took me an hour to figure out what I did wrong.
Huwbacca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend built his computer and he not super tech savvy. Average user.
So I tell him ages ago "dude, call me I'll walk you through it" but he insists he'll be fine. Then turns out nothing's working, lights up but nothing running.
"Did you put the processor in correctly? You have to remove a little plastic cap and make sure it's in the right way"
"Yes it's fine"
2 hour trouble shooting over the phone to him - "can... Can you please just check the processor" -- "right I've removed that plastic bit now what?" -- "now it'll work numbers"
And lo.
fuckface94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kind of like the time I accidentally threw a breaker and thought I killed my wife's DVD player. She was pissed. Come to find out it was on a different breaker and had come unplugged.
Mesha8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How were you trying to turn it on?
Hobbstet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are multiple power switches that send power to different components of the computer so i turned on those switches but forgot to press the actual power button
ImGonnaKickTomorrow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it. Did you think you could just will the computer on psychically, or did you power on the monitor, and then freak out when it didn't work? I can only imagine this happening if you had done something to turn it on...
Hobbstet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are multiple power switches that connect to the power supply so I turned those on and plugged in the computer completely forgetting about the power button because I had already flipped the other power switches to on. It was just me overthinking a simple problem.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you an engineer by any chance?
Black_ValoR ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:13:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ramrod312: "Christmas Support, how can I help you?"
Uncle: "I'm not able to turn on the fucking PlayStation!"
Ramrod312: "Okay what happens when you try and turn it on?"
Uncle: "SIR, I am NOT a gamer person so I don't know."
Ramrod312: "Does a light come on when you press the power button?"
Uncle: "I don't know what that is!"
Ramrod312: "Okay, when you plug in the PlayStation there is a big giant power button with a light..."
Uncle: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A GAMER PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"
wild_muses ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:30:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A cable guy tried to help my grandma with her tv that wouldn't turn on and couldn't figure out what was wrong with it. I came over and looked at it... the power cord wasn't attached.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my favorite episodes of Rugrats involved Stu trying to show Drew and Didi how his new coffee maker worked throughout the whole episode and near the end Drew holds up a plug and says in the most dead pan expression ever: "Stu...could THIS be the problem?"
Fickelbra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Got a cute one like this from the grandparents recently. "Fickelbra, the power went out and now our monitor says no signal. What do we do?" Is the computer turned on? "Thanks"
pageandpetals ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i put new batteries in my gameboy advance the other day and it still wouldn't turn on, so i googled and the internet told me there might be a switch problem. so i ordered a new shell and transferred all of the hardware into the new shell. still doesn't work. i check the batteries again and one of them is all rusty on the end or has battery acid on it or whatever. i put in another battery and poof, it's fine. good thing the new case only cost $10!
dupelize ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did that with some music hardware. I had ten cables running around all of the stuff on the table but no sound was coming out. I was really let down because it was an ebay purchase and I just didn't want to go through the hassle. Then I realized I had an extra power cable sitting on the chair...
ToxicPilot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend in college who came to me saying her computer would not start, wouldn't POST or anything:
Me: "Is it plugged in?"
Her: "Of course its plugged in! I'm not a total moron."
Me: "Okay, let me look at it" *flips the box over, flips the On/Off switch on the PSU to the On position*
Her: "..... well shit."
TEG24601 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People who get Dry DSL do this all the time.
"Is the modem connected to a phone jack?"
"I don't have a phone"
"I know that, but it still has to be connected to the jack."
Arctaos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of my derp moment when my car wouldn't start. I kept turning the key and nothing. I could tell from the lights that I had power, but the car wouldn't turn over. I happened to park out front of my Aunt and Uncles house when this happened, so I went and asked my uncle to have a look to see what was wrong. He came out, watched me try to start it and two seconds later pointed out that I was not in Park.... I will never live this down.
BinaryMan151 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
are u from florida? ramrod key?
GenuineMastermind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ramriddlz?
sadwer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A pet peeve of mine is people who massively overreact to a little bit of adversity. My wife does this when she's having an anxious day, and it's all I can do to be supportive and not, you know, a dick about it.
e.g. "I CAN'T FIND MY BLOUSE SOMEONE CAME IN AND STOLE IT." Yes, because someone walked past our two TVs, laptop, iPad, bluray player, and my desktop to steal a $30 shirt.
jujukamoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a cable company. An absolutely astounding amount of people would bring home boxes, run an HDMI cable to the TV and then call in losing it because it didn't work, would act like I was an idiot for making them ELI5 to me how they set it up, then being shocked that they need to plug it into the coax and power, not just the TV.
Endulos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got into an argument with an uncle of mine who bought a PS2 game and tried to play it in his ancient 1997 PC. I was like no, you can't do that. You need a PS2, not a PC.
He told me that I didn't know what I was talking about and that if it's a disc, you can run it in a PC. This was in 2001 when PS2 emulaters weren't really a thing yet.
Raider1987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A call from where I work, where I am the youngest person by about 20 years.
Them: 'The computer isn't working, so we can't access the diary or emails?'
Me: 'Ok, what error message are you getting?'
Them: 'We aren't getting a message, the screen is just blank'
Me: 'Ok is the monitor still plugged in?'
Them: 'I can't tell'
Me: 'What do you mean you can't tell?'
Them: 'We have had a power cut, it's really dark in here.'
PigletCNC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:48:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A former colleague of mine:
She: THE MACHINE IS BROKEN IT DOESNT TURN ON WHO DEMOLISHED IT?!
Me: Have you flipped the power button on the backside?
She: OMG HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK I AM PLEASE JUST GIVE A NORMAL ANSWER FOR A CHANGE OR SHUT UP!
My boss the next day saw it was indeed the power button, told her and she just ignored him. When I brought it up she said it was my fault for turning it off even though it's mandatory...
OH WELL, glad I am gone there now.
AustinAbortion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work at GameStop and we always get people trying to return "broken" controllers when in reality they either aren't charged or connected to the system.
cC2Panda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had an issue like this with family. Except everything was plugged in but the power strip.
Gellert ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The bane of tech support folks everywhere? Dedicated cleaning staff.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:21:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do we have the same uncle? "How come the PS4 isn't showing video?" Did you plug in the hdmi? "Oh shit".
jackjack012 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "Tech Support, how can I help you?"
Them: "My Playstation doesn't work."
Me: "Is it plugged in?"
Them: "SIR, I am NOT a Playstation person so I don't know."
Me: "What kind of Playstation did you buy?"
Them: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A PLAYSTATION PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"
TahoeLT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Off-topic, but does your dad think it's as cool as I do that people call him "Ramrod312's dad"?
jinantonyx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:40:14 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in tech support for a cable company, and I'd get one of those calls probably every other month.
After establishing that there are no lights lit up on the modem:
Me: Is it plugged in?
Customer: It's wireless.
Me: Ok, is the power cord plugged in?
Customer: It doesn't need a power cord. It's wireless.
Almost all of them argued with me after I explained it meant a wireless connection to the computer, and that it still needed power. Their fallback argument was, "The local office told me it didn't need to be plugged in." Yeah, I'm sure someone who hands out cable modems for a living told you it didn't need a power source.
Bozly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:32 on August 25, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know this is super late, but this was with a tv, When i started selling tvs I used to tell people "Smart allow you to get things like netflix hulu and youtube without having to plug anything in." What I mean by that was people who are typically used to roku and amazon not needing to plug something in to get.
So a guy bought a 3,000 dollar tv off me and calls a coworker of mine 3 hours later. "I can't get it to work its just a black screen" It takes a 15 minuet conversation for him to realize that the customer doesn't even have it plugged. I had to change my pitch after that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:01 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AerodynamicOmnivore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:57 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're on every single askreddit thread
VladimirsPoutine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:43:36 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just three of four of them today
MPAII ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:21:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A playstation actually is strictly a computer. You meant not colloquially a computer ;)
BookerDeWittsCarbine ยท 1558 points ยท Posted at 19:53:00 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I once asked a client to email me a 30 page doc as a PDF.
They sent me each page as its own PDF file in its own separate email.
[deleted] ยท 638 points ยท Posted at 20:05:18 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To credit, some scanning packages are an utter pain in the ass. It took me about 15 minutes to get 4 pages collated together as PDFs since my scanning software wouldn't scan to PDF natively and I didn't have Acrobat/Acrobat Pro on the machine.
I had to, with the limited computing resources available, scan 4 pages as PNGs, print each PNG to PDF (with cutepdf), then merge the PDFs with some random open source tool into one single PDF.
Was it a really crappy crude thing to do? You bet. Did it land me a new job? Yep. Did I install Acrobat afterwards? Of course.
craneguy ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 01:06:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Www.smallpdf.com if you ever find yourself in that situation again.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:35:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I use pdftk. Works great
tallquasi ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 23:28:11 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In Windows 7 & up you can select multiple image files and print them as a single document. I discovered this helping a lady with a similar problem
Spartan1117 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:43:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How?
tallquasi ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 12:34:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
literally highlightthem all, right click and print.
http://imgur.com/gallery/j3UYm
MarginallyUseful ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:05:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
Arc125 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:35:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And Google Ultron too I hope.
barchueetadonai ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:49:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On Mac, the option to combine PDFs is built into Automator
satansrapier ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:18:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That implies that most people are familiar with Automator.
barchueetadonai ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:21:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is a thread for people who are making fun of computer illiterate people. I donโt expect everyone here to be familiar with Automator, but I do expect them to be able to look it up and learn some basics easily if necessary.
satansrapier ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:32:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel ya. When I worked on a Mac all day, I loved Automator. I was building processes in Automator to do most of my job for me. I really miss having that capability. My new job can't be automated very easily.
MoopieEU ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:01:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is also built into Preview.
MarginallyUseful ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:07:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Preview and the multi-touch mouse are just about the only things I really miss about using a mac for work. I deal with PDFs a lot, they're so much better on a mac than on a PC.
It also doesn't help that I went from a MBP to literally the shittiest HP laptop on earth, either.
dave8814 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:20:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a small gig for a while at a place that needed stuff scanned and combined two or three times a week. The boss there was a nice old lady that was proud that she did all the purchasing herself. The software they had for PDFs was dreadful. First I had to scan in 60+ page documents one page at a time or the scanner from hell would jam. Then when I went to compile a single PDF it would put the pages in any order it liked. I grabbed some PDF compiler off the internet a month in that cut the time it took by an hour and got written up for using non approved software.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:26:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lesson learnt, you can get away with using it easily, just don't tell anyone and enjoy that free time you've cut ;)
RUST_LIFE ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:14:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Protip for everyone: NAPS2 (not another pdf scanner?) opensource and really good
tacojedi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:29:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To the top with you! I've been using that for the past few months and it's glorious. Saved me a ton of time when selling my house compared to HP and other scanning software
soyeahiknow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:28:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
umm... you could have just inset the PNG images into Microsoft Word, set the margins to narrow and pull the images so they fill up the whole page. Then "save as pdf".
Pachydermus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:28:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you set the image to 'behind text' you can stretch it to full dimensions. This is how I take title pages from photoshop to word.
Fa6ade ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:10:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you're in a jam and can't use native software, I would recommend smallpdf.com
theopstop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:21:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you happen to install adobe reader as well? http://m.imgur.com/a/iJD8f
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
sometimes the ones we laugh at are smarter, and we are the stupid ones. When faxes were new, one guy was making fun of his manager saying how that guy would get every fax that was received photocopied. We all felt that was stupid. Only later we figured out that fax machines used thermal printing and would evaporate after a few months.
slopecarver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I recently had to scan a 70 page tax return for a loan refinance, my brother printer/scanner with automatic document feeder would only take 30 pages at a time so once the last of the first 30 pages was picked up I shoved in the next 30 pages quickly and it kept scanning all the way through the last batch so I didn't need to mess around with joining PDF files. It felt great.
nupanick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
pdftk isn't "some random open-source tool", it's a fucking lifesaver that everyone should have patiently waiting on their flash drive, just like putty and upnp port forwarder.
Nerdwiththehat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:06 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
NAPS2 friend
[deleted] ยท -19 points ยท Posted at 23:34:22 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There an app for your phone called "genius scan" that scans documents into PDFs just by taking a picture of them. There's no reason to be using a physical scanner.
chouetteonair ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 02:39:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Alright first off scanners are a much higher quality option than you think. My cheapo printer can do 600 dpi scans, and that gets me a 5100 x 6600 (33.7 MP) copy. Not to mention that any scan from a phone will have trash quality and consistency compared to a simple scan.
There's no reason to be using a phone camera for scanning.
[deleted] ยท -17 points ยท Posted at 02:57:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've never had any trouble. I scan documents on my phone all the time and everything comes out legible and it's really quick. Not everyone owns a scanner but pretty much everyone has a phone.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:50 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you're trying to rapidly turn around a job offer back to a company and the closest thing to you turns out to be an HP LaserJet MFP and not a phone... well, there's reason enough to be using a physical scanner.
At my old job I loved to (ab)use the Ricoh C5100 we had because I could sling about ~100 pages/minute through the thing duplex and kick a PDF to our fileshare. And I've ran a few manuals through a big Fujitsu FI-7160 document scanner, too, though a lot slower.
[deleted] ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 01:05:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why isn't your phone in your pocket?
xelle24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Camscanner does this too. It can make the documents pdf or jpg and email them to you. It has a bunch of other fancy options, but I mostly ignore those. It works great with text documents.
none4gretch ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:38:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I get this almost every day at work. People have to email me their leases to read, and most of them are computer illiterate and/or just don't own a scanner at all. Most of the time I get literal photos of each individual page, and half of the time they aren't even clear pictures. Sometimes it's one attachment per email, luckily not often. I finally got the OK from my boss to refuse to accept anything but a single PDF when they do that shit, it's glorious.
Dominwin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:55:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle just did this with our vacation photos. I will never understand how you take the time to do all 75+ images without once thinking there might be a better way...
Ironicbanana14 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:07:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
RIP
Frumpy_little_noodle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like something I'd do if I'm pissed off at a supplier.
AC_Messiah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:18:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once asked a supplier for work to send me product datasheet PDFs. There were over 300. They printed them all off and posted them to me. It must have taken them ages and was of 0 use to me.
Now I clarify that I want the PDFs emailed or sent via dropbox or something.
vaevictis21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:42:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My gmail just died a bit there
RichoKidd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do all the contracts for home loans and what not. I had this happen so often with loan contracts. Some people...
trowzerss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, when I was working in tech support for lawyers I had to do something similar. But it was because we had to send the contract we had PDF'd in good quality colour for reprinting and the Japanese company we were emailing had a ridiculously low email size limit - like 1Mg. It was a 200 page document. Thank goodness for automation, but I'd hate to be the person at the other end :P (this would have been around ten years ago btw)
mconen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like to consider myself not a fucking retard, but I've done this too. I was used to using my own laptop (w/ company hardware vpn) and all the software I had whether it was paid by the company or me.
Well, someone fucked up and we all had to go back to using company issued computers overnight. Some couple of dozen people in sudden need of updates and new software on their OLD pieces of crap, and one IT guy to rule them all. IIRC he did manage to push the general updates via intra to most machines, but every "non-standard" program he had to inspect and install one by one.
Before it was my turn I had to send a 20 page document out. Non of my team members were in and most others were busy af (mostly because of this whole ordeal), plus I felt like a teenager after being treated like one - you know: "No, mconen, I can't let you install anything without my supervision, no software, no drivers, no nothing outside the intra."
So, I decided to use the tools I had. Ok, scanner not working.. Maybe take a picture of each page and reconstruct the document, pdf'fy it and send. Oh, file size huge, e-mail attachment limit reset to 5Mb. Can I compress it? Nope. Can I.. Um.. Reconstruct it by leaving some data out from the pictures or do the pdf-conversion more tight? Yes I can, but it needs to be readable and printable, so not nearly enough.
Yup, every single page as a separate pdf and a separate email. (Took me less than 2 hours to do the 8 min task tho...)
SiNi5T3R ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is a near daily experience at my work place.. ... and the documents come photographed instead of scanned...
aDildoAteMyBaby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once had to transcribe 45 pages of contact emails which were sent as iPhone screenshots. That was in March.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was once forced to do this because my top loader was not working and I had to get the documents in right away, so I had to use the glass to scan one page at a time. I at least put them all in the same email, though.
nayhem_jr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Windows itself does this.
โ "So you wanna scan that multipage flyer? Great! We'll organize by scan date." โ "Okay, fine. Let's scan the second page. Wait, why did you close?" โ "So you wanna scan something else? We'll need a separate folder for that. Since it's in its own folder, we can re-use the filename!"
mundotaku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:06 on August 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am real estate agent and you would not imagine how common this is. A lot of stupid people I guess.
ABigRedBall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:50 on October 25, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing you may have a seriously low file-size limit on a firewall somewhere.
KKalonick ยท 577 points ยท Posted at 21:56:22 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most of my students, who are almost all 18 and 19, have apparently never used a word processor. I start every semester thinking, "Okay, these people have grown up surrounded by computers, surely I don't need to go over this." I'm always wrong. A few times, I've had students hit enter twice at the end of every line to double space their paper. I've had multiple students use the space bar to center their title, they can't add a header, and they don't know what the tab key does. I love my job, but c'mon guys.
FelisEros ยท 205 points ยท Posted at 05:37:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The post-computer-literate generation grew up so saturated by technology that they never had to learn to use it.
disc_addict ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 15:10:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They can use it, but there's no fundamental understanding of what's actually happening.
spaceflora ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 15:05:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This. There's a sweet spot for natural literacy with any technology, and if you're born before or after the sweet spot you're probably going to be illiterate. The sweet spot for computers has long passed.
DMercenary ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 21:07:23 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here's an article from 2013 that perfectly encapsulates " so saturated by technology that they never had to learn to use it."
http://coding2learn.org/blog/2013/07/29/kids-cant-use-computers/
gcburn2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:47 on September 30, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really awesome read. Thanks for the link.
dupelize ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 05:24:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My students (age 15-17) didn't know that you can use shift for capital letters. They freaked out when they had to use Chromebooks with no caps lock.
say_fuck_no_to_rules ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 16:49:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck.
Ofactorial ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:50:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't a new thing. When my little sister was in high school (about 10 years ago I guess) I caught her using caps lock to type capital letters. I was like "you know about the shift key right?" and her response was "yeah, but I got used to it this way and it works".
christian-mann ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:52:43 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How... how do they type symbols like @ and #?
Foolprof ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:55:19 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
copy and paste duh
puzzypower ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:31:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My 17 y/o daughter does this. .. she refuses to the shift button at all.
AmnesiA_sc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:26:27 on August 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Turn that stupid search key into Caps Lock. There's no reason for a search key next to your pinky, Google's just trying to be edgy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:25 on September 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
3 weeks late, but whatever. If you're suggesting that Google does that, just know that you can change it in settings. Otherwise, yeah I agree, it's a good idea to switch it for yourself.
AmnesiA_sc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:45 on September 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually did mean that you, the user, should change it in settings. I see now that I wasn't super clear about that.
sense_make ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 01:46:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is what shocked me when I started at the university. I studied engineering, and I was so stunned over the technical illiteracy I saw among people.
The first time we had a CAD assignment people spent 2-3 days working on what I completed in about an hour. We were just supposed to make some really simple floor plans.
In year three when I took road design we had an assignment to complete in Matlab. It apparently was too hard for some people so we could use Excel too. Apparently writing formulas in Excel using input data from a few other cells prooved to hard for some people still.
I'm worried about these people being allowed to practice engineering sometimes.
[deleted] ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 01:21:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
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KKalonick ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 01:27:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know, if I thought my students were doing it for that reason, I'd actually be more okay with it.
Edit: Also, I do word count, not page count, so using more white space only hurts the trees.
ArchmageIlmryn ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 10:47:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All these circumvention methods just show how stupid requiring a page count/word count/etc. is. Just take off points for lack of content instead of lack of length.
[deleted] ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 12:27:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
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tugnasty ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:18:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Rome was all like, "You guys are totally all Rome now!" and everyone else was all like, "Nuh uh Bruh" and Rome was ready for someone to step but they never did, and Rome couldn't keep it's game up and stopped representin."
mattymelt ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:37:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me of my high school history teacher who would always try to turn complicated situations into a terrible dad joke. Like when Hitler said he was going to take over Poland and Poland said "no way Jose" and that really pissed Hitler off because his name wasn't Jose.
daft_inquisitor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:35 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That teacher sounds amazing.
KKalonick ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:11:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
While I agree from a critical standpoint, I disagree from a pedagogical standpoint. My students, especially (I teach students who scored too low on standardized testing and placement testing to take an entry-level composition class), need a rough, basic guideline to indicate the bare minimum discussion required by a given prompt.
Due to the nature of my class, my word counts aren't even onerous. If memory serves, the fifth of five papers I require (and, therefore, the longest) has a minimum word count of 750. That's laughably low for a college paper, even undergrad.
ArchmageIlmryn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:26:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's true, a recommended page/word count is definitely helpful. I just feel like the length of the paper should not be taken into account when grading, since a too short paper is either lacking in content or not really too short at all.
Starting college(admittedly, engineering school, so not much emphasis on writing) and having length requirements in papers shift from "x pages/words minimum" to "as short as you can make it while still covering everything" was rather refreshing.
Harribold ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 03:14:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
... but, you can just set the double spacing distance to something bigger.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:23:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
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Harribold ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:51:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Im pedantic, sorry I hadn't warned you initially. But, putting a paragraph break mid sentence, I.e. Not between two paragraphs is certainly less legal than changing the value of the line spacing. This is particularly true in the event that the paragraph break provides a gap larger than double spacing, as you are technically no longer double spacing.
As long as the gap between the lines of text is greater than a line of text, you are technically not double spacing. The technicality of whether or not the text is double spaced is not a function of the means employed to achieve or circumvent it. More succinctly, there is a setting for double spacing, but double spacing is not itself a setting.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:22:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
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Harribold ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:47:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But you just recently corroborated the idea you had in middle school.
2059FF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If the leading doesn't fit, you must acquit!
sturmey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:44:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know it was in word for windows 6.0, so yeah it's been around a while. Also you could play with kerning. setting how far apart the letters are
Blaze_fox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:08:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i still do it but mainly because its quick.
enter enter done.
the other ones mentioned work better than their equivalent keyboard verisons though
wollphilie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:48:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What do you do if you add a sentence?
Blaze_fox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:01:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
what do you mean?
like, typing words and putting a . at the end of them?
wollphilie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:50:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, I mean, when you add a sentence on the middle (or make any other change at all), how does that not fuck up your entire layout?
Blaze_fox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
because... it just pushes everything down one line?
im confused o3o
wollphilie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:16:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't you just say you pressed enter at the end of each line?
Blaze_fox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
but like... it doesnt cause problems.
and not on each line, paragraphs
wollphilie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, okay, that makes sense.
Blaze_fox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
mutual misunderstanding whoops :P it happens
wollphilie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've just proofread one too many bachelor's theses that had paragraphs done with spaces. SPACES! So I tend to assume the worst.
Blaze_fox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
XD oh god that must be painful
wollphilie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
well, at least the worst offender learned. By which I mean, her master's thesis did paragraphs with tabstops instead of spaces.
Blaze_fox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
@.@ progress. slowly
sedutperspiciatis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You do know now that if you set line spacing to multiple, you can make it exactly what you want, right?
You can also set it to exact, and specify spacing in font points.
agoia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In double spacing you can choose how wide the spaces should be.
Reginault ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Many profs I had asked for double spaced papers to make commenting easier. Not that double return would do that very well...
Agarax ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 02:44:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
These days they're surrounded by phones instead.
Computer illiteracy is making a comeback.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 05:40:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
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atreyal ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:57:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ease of use for modern technology is not the same as it was when most of us mid 20 to mid 30s went through. I remember growing up having to wire up enertainment systems at my dad house. I was the one who fixed the VCR and cable when it acted weird. I had to teach my parents the basics of computer use from using DOS commands to the earliest forms of Windows. Making a mess of AOL chat rooms and tripod, angelfire websites.
Now everything is hermetically sealed. People push a button and run the program they want. Kids don't need to know how the os runs stuff. How to troubleshoot things at a low level. Most stuff is ready to go out of the box and will work fine with no tweaks. Why Apple is so popular. Doesn't surprise me that kids don't know technology as well as we do since they never had to deal with it in the same level.
puzzypower ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:35:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. I'm 39, and started out with commodore 64, witnessing the birth of the actual PC, having comp Sci in school with actual disassembly and reassembly of computers, fixing both hardware and software issues - and learned to type on an actual typewriter. My basic understanding of electronics and computers is astounding compared to younger generations.
atreyal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am just wondering how to get my kids up in knowledge. Not old enough yet to really get it but I don't want them to get so good they can bypass me or block me out.
bbluech ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:27:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have them build a computer, when something goes wrong don't fix it for them, fix it with them so they understand how you fixed it not that you did. Also pick up a raspberry pie or something with a kit and have them experiment.
Trust me when I say all you have to do is pique their interests and they can take it from there with all the resources on youtube and other places.
atreyal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good point. Some good ideas too. Just have to wait for them to get a bit older and will do the raspberry pie thing. Already have a project in mind now that you brought that up!
TurboNoodle69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
how old are you? just to put things into perspective.
atreyal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
34
TurboNoodle69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:54:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
aaah, from your story it looked like you were a 70-80 year old :D
atreyal ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:10:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No. I am just that guy that fixes everything computer related at work. Most people don't have a clue anymore. Kinda blame Apple a bit for it. Since they are hugely popular and don't let you tweak anything. Just how "user friendly" tech has become. That and I love in a really red neck area.
But thanks for making me feel old now :p
TurboNoodle69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:14:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
did not mean to :D i'm not the youngest either at 32
atreyal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just messing with ya. It's all good.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:42:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd agree that computers are better for real work, word processing, etc., but 80% of the reason I'm as computer literate as I am is because I was using a computer for fun at a very young age. People growing up do so much of their internet socializing and casual gaming on mobile, they don't really have an incentive to learn how to use a computer for anything other than school assignments.
Screwattack94 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:29:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tablets have theese by now (at least the windows based).
They are super usefull, I only turn my computer on if I want to play a game that needs a little bit more power or watch a film.
Killa-Byte ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:34:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still prefer a mouse and keyboard to touchscreen.
lizardking99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:45:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll generally use a USB hub for my mouse and keyboard that I will generally leave unplugged from my PC so I can just keep using my Surface when I get home from work. Again, only using my PC when I need two monitors or when I want to game.
Screwattack94 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:44:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was talking about the chromebocks and chinese copys. They are a small Laptop with detachable Screen. It works like a tablet if you only use the screen and like a computer if you attach the keyboard.
I carry a cheap usb mouse around so I don't have to bear with the trackpad.
Fuck trackpads.
funkmon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Motorola Atrix had this.
wabojabo ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 02:51:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a 19 year old student I get the struggle. I had a class in high school specifically to learn to use Word properly. Still, many guys didn't got it and most of my classmates never learned.
On another not so illiterate computer thing, I learned to properly type on a keyboard (using all of my fingers) and the rest of my class has to use 2, it frustrates me sometimes.
Stormkitty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:58:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can type at over 90 WPM using 2 fingers try to keep up grandpa :^)
m3bs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you look at the keyboard when you type, or at the screen? Being able to look at the screen lets you catch errors earlier and I can't imagine two-fingering makes that easy.
Wizhi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:56:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's all about muscle memory, you don't need to look at the keyboard.
You don't consciously find the location of any given key, your fingers just move. Doesn't have to be the same fingers that hit the same keys every time, it can get mixed up. When you change keyboard, it requires a little adjusting, but it's very fast to get used to.
I do around 60 WPM with QWERTY, using random finger placements to type. My hands sort of "claw up", and it's become really straining for me to type a lot.
Currently learning touch-typing with the Colemak layout, and I can feel how my bad typing habits are making it even harder to transition.
SomethingKindaCrazy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:54:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly hate touch typing. When we had to learn it in grade school (All The Right Type), my fingers were too short to reach the numbers and anything 2-3 keys away from home row. In the end, the teacher finally got so pissed off with my "fake" touch typing that she wrapped my hands and the keyboard in a garbage bag and made me spend a week of classes like that.
Stormkitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I look at the screen when I'm typing, I self-taught myself how to type.
theburritolord ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 03:09:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One time in middle school I thought double space meant hitting the space bar twice after each word.
Ofactorial ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:51:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The key phrase there is "one time". No child isn't going to immediately grasp what "double spaced" means once they find out it reduces their homework by half.
figyg ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:14:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did this in 5th grade
bloomblox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same actually. Not saying my elementary school was bad, but their extent of computer teaching that I remember was learning how to type, Oregon Trail, and sending a few emails. In middle school I was left in the dust.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:41:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
PM_ME_DICK_PICTURES ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:02:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But then he gets to 4chan..
Source: me
Ixellent ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 02:59:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gods, I thought I was crazy too, but this happens with my recent college freshmen. Didn't they write any papers in school? :I I teach Photoshop and so many of them don't understand "copy and paste" in a weird way that I can't comprehend as someone who has been using Photoshop since before they were born.
TooFastTim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can you point me towards a 101 for Photoshop?
Denascite ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:00:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you sure that they were not redditing all the time?
GLOOTS_OF_PEACE ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:27:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yep it's not just old people that have problems. In fact this thread is such a circle-jerk against old people, that people probably have forgotten that it is adults - old people - who invented, developed, financed, and designed technology. I've seen young people not even know how to shut down a computer.
lizardking99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:47:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Computer illiteracy is making a comeback in a bug and terrifying way.
ScribbleMonster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:50:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Totally excusable for someone who grew up with a typewriter. But if their birth year begins with "20," what rock have they been living under?
JustAnotherIPA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:12:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm working in a school where Computing hasn't been taught for a few years. Both staff and students can be really difficult. Many of them don't know how to copy and paste, use spellcheck, or know what the tab and shift keys do.
I've also seen multiple people put USB drives in the ethernet port of their laptop and be terribly confused as to why it isn't working.
KKalonick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:57:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for bringing up spellcheck; I had forgotten about that (or blocked it out). Most of my students have no idea what that is either. I tell them it's better than cheating because not only will I not take off points if they use it, I'll probably have to take off points if they don't.
sephlington ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:58:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thinking about it, I don't recall ever actually being taught how to use a word processor properly in my IT lessons at school. Spreadsheets and PowerPoint and making fucking Flash videos, but I think I've had to pick up Word skills by myself? I'm now in a job where I use Word every day, and my boss gets quite proud when she does something on Word that I have no clue about.
spiirel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:38:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to show my freshman roommate how to use a flash drive, print a document and explain what Microsoft Word is, since she was using notepad. This was 4 years ago and she had a brand new computer.
VERTIKAL19 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:35:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean by a word processor?
funkmon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:51:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, why were they using word processors? Why do you have so many still? Is there a niche use for them of which I am not aware?
Wizhi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I think by "word processor", they mean a WYSIWYG tool like Microsoft Word (most likely) or one of many alternatives.
funkmon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well now I feel foolish.
Tommy2255 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How could you go through highschool without typing an essay at least once?
KKalonick ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:03:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
While I don't want to stereotype anybody, many of my students were football players in small county schools where their ability to throw a ball mitigated their inability to write a coherent sentence. I had one student proudly tell me that he never wrote a paper in high school (apparently he passed his English classes even though he skipped every paper). Another student only had to write one paper to graduate. I can't make sense of it, but apparently it happens.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in my 30s and I think I grew up in the sweet spot of computing. GUIs already existed so it made computers easy to learn but you still had to figure shit out on your own.
Now the current kids are so used to hand holding smart phones and tablets (ie. dumbed down computers) that they have trouble with real computers...like how my girlfriend's kids think their computers are broken whenever the internet goes out.
figyg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's kinda weird and backwords. I took computer classes since I was in 1st grade over 20 years ago up through college. Now I care for my cousins who are in junior high and high school. Neither of them have ever taken a computer class. We live in a desirable school district in NYC. I don't understand why they aren't even taught the basics...
xoTaliet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Could be that they didn't own a computer. A lot of kids in my high school didn't. Though my high school still made them type and print out their essays despite their lack of computers. Tons of kids missed lunch to use the library computers or they didn't hand anything in at all...
KitchenSwillForPigs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, a lot of kids don't have the opportunity to learn, unless they decide to do so for themselves. I (22 years old) can use MS and Excel like a motherfucker and I can type properly, (as in, I can do so without looking, and use the correct fingers on the correct keys) but only because I went to the only middle school in my district, let alone my state, that had a computer course.
BananaPuddings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they use the spacebar instead of tab for precision. I'm a tab guy though, spacebar people are crazy
KKalonick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If my students used the space bar for precision, I probably couldn't even tell that they used it. Instead, I have people hitting the space bar 2-4 times calling it good. If I can halfway glance at a sheet of paper and spot that flaw, we have a problem.
actuallycallie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My college students know so little about what to do with documents. Sure they can snapchat, tweet, text, whatever, but if you ask them to combine word docs, change margins in a word doc, save a word doc as pdf, scan something as a pdf... and they don't even fucking know how to google how to do that stuff.
I teach people to be teachers and the latest bunch had to do an online portfolio thing for licensure (it sucks but the state requires it now so it is what it is). I TOLD them to get a video camera for the part where they have to record their teaching; half of them just used their phones, then flipped out when the phone wouldn't hold enough video, or it was in some weird proprietary format, or they couldn't get it off the phone, or they lost their phone. DO WHAT I FUCKING TOLD YOU. Then they acted like it was impossible to make a 10 minute video clip or compress their video to a smaller size. I'm forty fucking years old, if an Old like me can figure this shit out it can't be that hard.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if we actually got fucking computer training in grade school, we wouldn't have the issue.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
KKalonick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:06:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Campus computers at my university wipe themselves at the end of every night, so students have to save their files in a separate drive if they wanted to access them later. Trying to explain how to do that ate up 5 minutes of class time at least once a week for the whole semester. It's not even that complicated. Save As > Computer > H Drive. It's three one single click and to double click. Five clicks people. Five clicks.
nupanick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Those are all things they won't learn from point-and-click interfaces. Our generation grew up having to know everything about the keyboard, theirs didn't. Maybe you should have a class where you just go over all the special keys and introduce them! That could be fun!
KKalonick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:12:54 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This semester, I'm requiring my students to use google docs, so the last half of the first class will be a primer on properly using docs. I mean, they won't pay attention and they'll ask me the same 5 questions all semester, but at least I can say I told them.
kevpool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:15 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lecturer. Can confirm.
DevoutChaos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:40 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The only one I'll forgive is the double spacing, it's not something I've ever been taught to do, or been asked to use, so while I can set it up to be done automatically I'll still probably just double enter for a little while.
hgfdsgvh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:41 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait? Seriously? This generation? The one that never lived a day of their life without access Microsoft Word? But... surely..... WordArt??!!?
leztid ยท 1022 points ยท Posted at 19:21:25 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My professor once took a picture of an email with his phone, and then texted me the picture. He didn't realize you could forward emails...
GametimeJones ยท 388 points ยท Posted at 22:07:22 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A coworker wanted a picture off of my phone the other day. I told him I would text it to him real quick. "Nah, let me just take a picture of your phone.".....
ThomasSirveaux ยท 302 points ยท Posted at 02:06:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This explains all those memes people repost on Facebook where it's a cell phone picture of the meme on a computer screen.
BlackAnemones ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 03:06:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The worst one I've seen a couple times now is a Facebook post of a cell phone picture of a printed out screenshot of a Facebook post..
Precourser ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 05:35:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are many good reasons I don't use Facebook anymore. This is one of them.
Pachydermus ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 06:46:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to choose to believe you're lying, because I don't want to live in a world where that actually occurred.
homiej420 ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 09:43:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
these words make no sense! I had to read that three or four times to actually understand what you were saying
BlackAnemones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They took a screenshot of a post on Facebook, printed out the screenshot, took a picture of the piece of paper they printed, then posted it back on Facebook.
homiej420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know what actually happened i was saying that what they were doing that had those words that had to be said to describe it were unbelievably crazy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
homiej420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ok so being mean about it does what? What good does that do? Just makes me sad and you look like a jerk
totoro11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:50:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How is he being mean when he basically just said the same thing that you said about the facebook post?
caffeine_lights ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:46:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And they are always so crunchy and pixelated from being compressed 10000 times.
chateau86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:54 on August 18, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant xkcd
hypervelocityvomit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:05 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://sliptalk.s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/10142626/book-face.png
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:22:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did exactly that this weekend. In our defense though, it's because my friend had no cell reception and I had a map of our campground on my phone, so this was a quick solution.
jmerridew124 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:34:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't want you to have his number.
AngryFerds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:30:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not exactly illiterate, he just wants it quickly and doesn't care about the quality. I do that from time to time out of sheer laziness. Hahaha
NedTaggart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had a manager once that had to have his input on all things, even stuff not from his department. I was building out a graphic and he sent it back several time wanting tweaks to the particular shade of green. The second or third time he sent it back, I made zero changes to it and sent it back. He finally accepted it.
PM_ME_TIG_OLE_BITS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Data caps
ferret_80 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
if this were a few years ago i could respect that because data caps were a thing and receiving images used a fair bit of data
RazgrizSeed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's one thing I like about NFC, especially if someone has left theirs on from when they first got the phone. I can tell them to hold up their phone, put mine up against theirs, and tell them to press "yes" or "ok".
Aleblanco1987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Needs moar jpeg
PeregrineFaulkner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I recently got an email from a client. It included a photo of her phone. She was inquiring about the image on the screen of her phone. I spent a few minutes just trying to figure out HOW she achieved sending me this. Now I know. It was probably a picture of someone else's phone.
GametimeJones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of this
jedi22300 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 07:02:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nfc is so much faster
leafsleep ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:34:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it's really not
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:05:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed it isn't. I can send the photo via WhatsApp and he can receive it within a second. While activating NFC on my phone and telling him to activate it takes already 30 seconds and it hasn't even been sent yet
LadyNorthFacing ยท 263 points ยท Posted at 19:44:29 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad used to print and fax "funny emails" to me
hubife13 ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 03:55:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your own fault for having a fax
Ze_Yeti ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:41:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He tried.
pixelprophet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:31:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What else are you going to use a fax for these days?
Cheese_Lord_Eggplant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:27 on August 31, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, I never thought of doing that! See, what I do is I print the email at work, then fax it home. Then, when I get home, I mail the email to my friend who lives near the telegraph office, with money included for the telegram. The note says to transcribe the email into a telegram for my son's friend, and to say in the telegram for my son's friend to walk over to my son's house to tell him the contents.
Some people say I'm old-fashioned, but my system works for me.
welpie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:23:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was around 9 years old a friend of my mom sent me a video and I returned it to them when I watched it so they'd have their video back. In my defense I only just got an email address.
spaceflora ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:30:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've actually started doing this lately and I'm completely computer literate. But it's for things like.... I got a ridiculous crazy work email that's pissed me off so I take a picture of it and send it to my friend across the country who also does what I do and we commiserate on our stupid fucking coworkers together. It just seems inappropriate to forward such an email. And also I don't know her email, lol.
I also do it with websites on the computer that I cannot be bothered to find again on my phone. It is sheer fucking laziness on my part.
Smaug_the_Tremendous ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more impressed that he managed to text a picture.
horrorshowmalchick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like, actual, one step above a PhD 'Professor'?
95DarkFire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:31:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only recently, a friend's stepfather asked my friend to take picture of the screen of his smartphone and text him the picture. He didn't know screenshots were a thing.
zangor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Devils Advocate.
You are more likely to prioritize your text messages above your email.
BikerRay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A while a go someone wanted to show what their cracked phone screen looked like to a friend, so he emailed a screen capture.
Thomas9002 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of my old Lumia phone.
I tried to forward an email, but there just was no option for it. There were options for answering and deleting the mail.
I later found out you had to touch answer and THEN the phone asks you if you want to answer the email or forward it.
Thx Microsoft...
srcarruth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:31 on September 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who works in graphic design and he gets these low res cam pics all the time. of emails. emails containing high res images.
LostSymbol_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:23 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've been known to take pictures of my computer screen before if i'm feeling partocularly lazy.
Knowbody42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:07 on November 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And there are those people who record their TV with a video camera, in order to upload it to youtube.
tiroc12 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Surely this one is fake. Email has been around a lot longer than camera phones.
ph0xz ยท 1124 points ยท Posted at 23:30:50 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents: "Your pc gave our mac a virus over the wifi"
ForgeableBrush3 ยท 157 points ยท Posted at 05:00:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well of course! Macs dont get viruses!
Alechilles ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 15:32:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mind is actually blown by the number of people who still think you can't get a virus on a Mac or an IPhone. That was relavent for like 10 minutes while nobody had macs so it was pointless to make a virus for a Mac. It's been YEARS. It's not even uncommon anymore. You're at just as much of a risk on a Mac as you are on a PC.
Meh_Turkey_Sandwich ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 16:13:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a mac, we get viruses.
ooleshh ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:10:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Truuuuuuueeee, but I actually got to sit in on a cyber-security briefing given by a retired 10th fleet Officer, and apparently over 85% of mobile viruses are developed specifically for android OS, and originates primarily from Russia, eastern Europe, and China. So, there's a lot less malicious code for you to bump into as an iPhone user.
Also, apparently the .su domain, for the Soviet Union, is still active and is used to host a lot of malware. And a US Navy ship, iirc a carrier actually, got so infected from a host of different viruses brought on by unauthorized use of the on-board computers and connecting personal devices to the network, that they had to quarantine it from the rest of the USN network, which is a big deal since it prevented a lot of communications from happening. I think this happened four or five years ago.
It was a neat brief.
Ketchup901 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:08:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny that .su exists because the internet wasn't around in 1989.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:37:28 on September 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes it did.... while it was mostly peer to peer it existed.
danhern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:43 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Related: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qd_c-ZFcUSs
alt213 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:55:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/linuxmasterrace
Yes, I know there are Linux viruses, too, but they're exceedingly rare and you really have to fuck up hard to allow it to infect your system.
Ketchup901 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:07:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's like, 10 in existence. And since there are so few, everybody knows about them so no one gets infected.
ForceBlade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:14 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's just not true. iPhones need exploits to even install something malicious, and Linux users aren't admins by default. Theres many viruses out there which can affect PC's running linux. Hell I can write a script right now to infect a linux host, you just have to be dumb enough to run it as root
and trust
People are that stupid
Ketchup901 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:49 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The people who are that stupid are in a very small minority. If you have any kind of intelligence, you don't run unknown programs without checking the integrity first.
Also whether you're a sudoer by default or not varies from distro to distro.
ForceBlade ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:22:52 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We just can't assume this person doesn't exist. There's more than seven billion people and the other 3 members of my family are computationally retarded and have an account on my linux desktop for ripping movies. But no sudoer access thank fuck.
It can strike from anywhere
Ketchup901 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:16 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If they're retarded how can they rip movies?
Ketchup901 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:06:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But Mac is a POSIX system so it's by default more secure than a Windows system.
It's no hardened Gentoo, but it's better than Windows.
just_another_spoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:48 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly though, how the hell do you even get a virus on an iPhone?
haykam821 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:49:29 on October 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jailbreaking it
just_another_spoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:52:02 on October 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
True. I just feel like most people don't jailbreak. I could be very wrong though.
haykam821 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:05 on October 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/jailbreak
Ryujin_Hawker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:31 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I heard that as a fact and always thought it was true, purely because i've never had a virus, i'll happily click on loads of random links and never had any malware protection stuff for years. If you can go 6+ Years without a single virus and then get a new PC that comes pre-packaged with them, it seems like an obvious fact.
Alechilles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:24:22 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's a decent chance that you've had one and just didn't know it. Most viruses don't directly harm your computer at all. They just run in the background and steal your information.
lordwafflesbane ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 05:47:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then who was phone?
Verywetsocks ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 09:58:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nosferatu ๐ป
Noshferatu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You (almost) rang?
Verywetsocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
O shit, wuddup
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:19:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then who was 2011 joke?
hj1288 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:37:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Come again
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
hj1288 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Come again
Blaze_fox ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 10:56:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
technically possible.
likely?
not even remotely close
Ninja_Fox_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:25:43 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You would have to be so stupid to get a virus. Clicking on every flashing "download battery update" button will do it though. And the people saying macs can't get viruss are the ones who do that.
Blaze_fox ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:03:07 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
mh.
macs do get viruses.
just not windows viruses.
Etiquetty ยท 113 points ยท Posted at 06:14:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents always complain about the slow wifi because I "infect the wifi" by downloading games...
Aniquin ยท 152 points ยท Posted at 07:59:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you're not "infecting" it, but you are using a lot of bandwidth so they've almost got the idea.
eekstatic ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 08:17:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So what's it like being Steven Moffat and Sue Vertue's kid?
satansrapier ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:20:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol. Those damn aliens infecting our WiFi.
eekstatic ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:25:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Stop downloading those damn games of yours! The WiFi keeps trying to steal your mother's soul!"
doorknob60 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:04 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I have 100 Mbps internet and the other day, we were watching Youtube on the PS3 (Wifi, but like 1 meter from the router), working just fine, and I started downloading a large game on Steam (over wired). Immediately, my router decided it was a good idea to let the 2-4 Mbps or whatever Youtube video start constantly buffering, while my Steam download was going at like 9 MBps (capital B).I told Steam to throttle to 5 MBps and everything was fine. But there is some truth to that. I might need to dig into my router's settings...
rivalarrival ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 09:57:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my users managed to get some malware on their Windows machine that turned it into a malicious DHCP server. Instead of using the DNS servers I had selected, the malicious DHCP server issued network configurations with a scammer's DNS which resolved every domain name with their scam site.
What your parents said would be a reasonably accurate description of what happened to my network.
crozone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:22:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Protip: Enforce router selected DNS servers at the router firewall level, and don't let anything else out or in over port 53.
Dozekar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:41:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Many people are not going to be able to do this. It's like telling them to drop all private subnet traffic that that arrives on external interfaces. It's advice that is extremely helpful to enterprise level operations and equipment, totally useless for most individuals at home.
rivalarrival ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:03:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
True, but there is a group of people who know how to do these things, but don't know that they should.
crozone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really? My home consumer router firmware has a simple checkbox to enable this rule.
Elrondel ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:23:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We're on a thread about computer illiterate people that can't turn a monitor on; I doubt that most people access their router firmware at all other than changing the WiFi password and closing it instead of leaving it open..and most probably don't even do that
rivalarrival ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, figured that out the hard way.
frostyz117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ah the old zombie botnet, had to reformat my dad's pc over one of those.
Darth_Corleone ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 13:19:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
When my dad makes ridiculous diagnosis like this, I just praise his detective skills and ask follow up questions with genuine interest in his answers. That tends to settle things pretty quickly, in most cases.
matteussz ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:37:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I need to start doing this.
Darth_Corleone ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:41:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Socrates knew what he was doing
xNightProwlerx ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 09:42:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My favourite is:โOur PC runs so slow because you're gaming to much."
Dent13 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 14:02:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
More likely you're slowing down the internet connection if you don't have a lot of bandwidth
xNightProwlerx ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 14:17:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't dispute that. They complain when I'm not even using the internet.
Dent13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, okay then
dantemirror ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:52:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funny thing is most games use less than 10kb/s to maintain game connection, so even if you had the most basic 1mb internet it shouldn't be noticeable at all.
Youtube uses way more bandwidth than any game could ever need but somehow its your fault for playing a game and not theirs for streaming movies...
Wisdomlost ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 11:38:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So your dad was looking at porn and clicked on something he shouldn't have is what your telling me?
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 15:13:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to spend fucking hours fixing my dad's laptop cause of the viruses he gets from porn. It was some "fbi" message saying he had to pay a bunch of hundreds of dollars to get his laptop back. Okay I don't wanna know what porn website you were on.
FappersAnonymous ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:35:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I've gotten that message. Yeah, it's usually on some sketchy sites.
Easiest way to deal with it is to close the process for that tab.
ProtoJazz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:04:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Worst virus I ever got was from a bad ad on a popular guitar website.
SirDowns ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:47:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a pretty shitty thing to do to your parents.
Trickelodean2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:34:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Desperately tries not to break things
Breaks window
dougmantis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god kill me now.
SpyderEyez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:23:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's why you always use protection, kids.
jmerridew124 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I can't help you. You gave me the stupid over your voice."
Firemanz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents always blamed World of Warcraft for giving their computer a virus. "when all those people are connected to a server they can send viruses to people"
-Alimorel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I legit had some guy my mom was dating say that my computer could give her phone, the TV, and the Playstation a virus via the surge protector they were all plugged into. She believed him.
JasTHook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It will be possible soon.
I remember before 2000 stating confidently that one would not get infected if over didn't open attachments.
And then came the overflow exploit the filename attachment parser (or something like it) in outlook express and then you could get infected merely by receiving an email.
this_guy_over_here_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing about that statement make any logical sense whatsoever, mom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone technically illiterate enough to somehow end up with a virus on their Mac is almost worthy of some kind of twisted respect.
MooseTetrino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:30 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My father in law once called my partner up to complain at her for playing a videogame and slowing the internet down.
My partner was in Wales. He was in France.
RobouteGuilliman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:34 on October 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your PC has herpes.
hgfdsgvh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:19 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an apple chick yet even I can recognize how many things are wrong with that sentence! :)
PM_ME_LIZARDS ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:18:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god. I've read through so many of these posts and just about managed to keep my cool. But this... Good god, this is the line. Fuck. Just, no. I can't deal with anymore. I'm about to explode. How? How can they think that's even possible? I? Oh my god. No more.
big__cheddar ยท 1297 points ยท Posted at 22:31:36 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Could you please hurry up? The Post Office is closing soon and I need to check my email."
sellyberry ยท 820 points ยท Posted at 03:13:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No.
What?
No.
RocketCow ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 08:57:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Post Office Protocol 3, son.
High_Guardian ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 10:43:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's 6:42am and I don't think I will laugh any harder today
IronElephant ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:07:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
a mi tambien, hombre
krat0s77 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:04:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Woah slow down, Carlos
IronElephant ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:15:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/NDkbs1njyQY
oyooy ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 11:31:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually unintentionally witty because one of the main network protocols for receiving emails is POP which stands for post office protocol.
themoonisacheese ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:58:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You just unintentionally explained the joke of the guy above to me. Good job.
Ketchup901 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:02:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
>using pop
>not imap
>smugpepe.png
ImGonnaKickTomorrow ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:03:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is the one comment on this post that I can confidently say is made up.
pro-amateur ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:34:19 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On that note, my 3 year old refers to all mail as 'email'. Whenever the mail dude delivers the mail, he'll be sitting by the window, yelling out to my wife that "the email just got delivered."
LeakyLycanthrope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:52:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry. This didn't actually happen
zerosuitsalmon ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:19:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/nothingeverhappens
popejohnthebroiest ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 06:45:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How did you respond to this? Because I know my immediate reaction would be to laugh hysterically.
YouKnowThatOtherGuy ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:37:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh wait, you're serious? Let me laugh harder."
ICANTTHINKOFAHANDLE ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 10:20:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Those two sound separate though. Like they need to check their email urgently and get to the post office before closing time. Perhaps they needed to check an order number?
Unlnvited ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 09:29:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, maybe she really needed to check her email and then rush to the post office afterwards.
Gasmar ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 10:41:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't this something Pierce says to Brita in community?
baked007 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:42:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not the same thing. He says "I need to use this computer because my email is on this one" I think
Gasmar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:43:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I think you're right.
MarcelRED147 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:21:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That reference is streets ahead.
Daedry ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:14:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
''At what time does the Internet closes'' is a question frequently asked by the elderly
Matriss ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:51:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well obviously he needed to check his e-mail, print off the Jesus forwards, then go to the post office to mail them to his friends and family so they don't miss out on the love of Christ.
What else is he supposed to do, his e-mail is only for receiving mail.
mootpoint23 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:33:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On this vein I convinced my MIL to finally get email so she could Skype grandkids and facebook etc. She then told me okay we'll do it tomorrow. She went to post office next day and asked them for email. I couldn't stop laughing.
aytchdave ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:16:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ยฟlolque?
maffoobristol ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:21:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What was the context?
Vibhu27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's from a show. Community.
BadBoyJH ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:21:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My ISP refers to their mail app as the post office. Makes me sad every time I see it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:47:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
one of the first email address domains was pobox.com
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you hurry up tho?
OneEyedStranger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No fucking way.
Vibhu27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't know where this is from, you're not exactly streets ahead.
Wheelerrap ยท 3459 points ยท Posted at 20:28:32 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in the early 90s, we were using ProComm to support users remotely. They just had to have a modem, install the software, and give us the number.
Anyways, most of our clients were small non-profit outfits, typically staffed by older folks, and one of them was having issues. We tried, and tried to connect, got nothing. Asked them repeatedly, 'Do you have a modem?', 'Is it plugged in/turned on?', 'is it attached to the phone line?', 'is it attached to the computer?'...etc...etc...all 'yes'. So eventually we decided we'd have to make the 2+ hour drive to their location to help them in person.
The modem was duct taped to the side of the monitor with nothing connecting it to the computer...except the tape.
Titus_Favonius ยท 2155 points ยท Posted at 22:16:54 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And you know the guy who duct-taped the thing to the computer thought you guys were idiots for not sending them screws to mount it to the computer properly
pearthon ยท 800 points ยท Posted at 04:45:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Uhhhg omg I can see his smug face from a million miles away
Plo-124 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 10:06:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That means the modem is connected properly
thesuper88 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:08:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking moon men. I swear.
glitterinablender ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:25:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Something's fishy...
If earth's diameter is nearly 8,000 miles...
Does that mean that aliens have reddit accounts?
Burnsomebridges ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:12:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who do you think made reddit? Its mascott is an alien, after all.
DrQuint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Come on, it was just a 2 hour drive.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:35:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but it was all the way back in the 90s.
hgfdsgvh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:19 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
across AND space :)
Kyanche ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 05:20:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bet they are the kinda person that whacked their monitor when their computer was acting funny.
Korvticus_morkis ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 06:04:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My father often did that. Once saw him punt the tower out the window because it was slow. A ten year old doesnt understand that some websites have viruses
Hobosock ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 06:35:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your father must have been pretty young when he had you if he was 10.
The_Big_Red_Wookie ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 07:28:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
There's an old doctor who episode where he's on an ancient rocket ship and he's trying to access the computer saying something about it possibly being earth technology it stops working so he hits it. It suddenly starts working again.
And he exclaims "Definitely earth technology" that scene always cracked me up.
Edit: here's a link to what I was referring to about 5 minutes 40 seconds in. Enjoy
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x87f7l_state-of-decay-part-2_shortfilms
leafsleep ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:29:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, whacking was a regular part of good computer maintenance back when CRT monitors existed. That and the "degauss" button
xxrazorcandyxx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:07:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Omg I just cringed because I remember I did that as a child
Stacia_Asuna ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:06:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
NEED A DISPENSER HERE!
akai_ferret ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:26:06 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
When I was a kid we actually had a Mac Performa that, when it was getting old, slapping it on the side really and truly worked.
You knew it needed a good slap on the right side when it froze up and the hard drive started making a specific sound no hard drive should be making.
I actually think the actuator arm was getting stuck or something.
A sharp slap or two on the right side towards the front would get things moving, the hard drive would start sounding normal again, and the computer would come back to life.
walkclothed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:28 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you sure it wasn't the CPU fan that would get a wire from the power supply caught in the blades, make a labored noise and start overheating? The only computer I ever had to slap had that problem before I found some zip ties.
uhmhi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:15:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should definitely change the wording of "Attach the modem to your computer"
I_Bin_Painting ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:51:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I own a pub that gets a lot of curmudgeonly old regulars; this describes their major dysfunction perfectly.
roses_and_rainbows ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:48:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really?
Dent13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure if I should be impressed that you know this is a 4 year old repost, or pity you for knowing this is a four year old repost
roses_and_rainbows ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:35:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know. Someone else mentioned it and I googled some of the words. ;)
For what it's worth, I thought the same thing about that person...
Howtofightloneliness ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:08:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Omg, this is my favorite.
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 02:58:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I shouldn't read these threads. I'm starting to thinks eugenics might not be such a bad idea.
Raibean ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 05:02:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you want Nazis? Because that's how you get Nazis.
visforvito ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:29:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The nazis were pretty all reich.
ZweihanderMasterrace ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:10:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
NO! We are not having another pun thread! Whew, stopped it dead in its tracks...
giant_diglett_penis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:58:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...anne frankly they should be ashamed of themselves
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:43:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would join in on this pun thread but my pun making bus is... running out of... gas...
I'm sorry i'm bad at this....
Bnavis ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 06:18:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, you didn't. This was a comment from the same post 4 years ago.
Dorocche ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:25:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have a link? Could it be the same guy, a same situation, or another of the guys who went with him?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:02:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:18:40 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Impressive!
Zedding ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:42:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly was a WiFi modem.
AlmightyRuler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:41:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Duct tape is magic, certainly, but I think that's pushing it's capabilities bit. Although...imagine if it COULD do that...
Duct Tape 2020: Now wifi capable!
Cynykl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:03:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do not miss the bad old days when you had to blindly walk idiots though manually typing modem stings in to the modem properties through DUN.
Being tech support for one of the larger internet companies in the early and mid 90's was an exercise in patience.
TEG24601 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had that, but replace modem with DSL modem, and tape, with gorilla glue.
igloojoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:39:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Duct tape doesn't fix everything???
horrorshowmalchick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reading that gave me that "HNNNNGGGGG" feeling of not having had enough caffeine.
Hamza_33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:14:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, the 90's...
_kemot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:41:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i refuse to believe that. I just refuse.
electrobeam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tech: tech support how can I help you? TheCaller: help, my Internet isn't working. Tech support: is your modem plugged in? Caller: sir, I am not a computer person. Techsupport: do you have a modem? TheCaller: I do not know what that is. Techsupport: it's the thing that you plug your computer into so you can get Internet. TheCaller: sir, I have already told you, I am not a computer person, if you continue like this I will have to hang up! (sorry for formating and Stuff, I'm on mobile)
LoraRolla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:16:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Literally still happens today.
feihta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:26:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When we were providing support via modem, a common problem was that they would leave the modem on but shutdown the computer.
aelae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We're still using Procomm.. sigh
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They should have used electrical tape. It was just the wrong type of tape.
Anderos787 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is no other story on Reddit, no, the entire internet, that I want to be real as much as this one.
Jameskkk ยท 1419 points ยท Posted at 20:28:08 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So, a while back at the company I work at there was this senior VP in the legal division as a patent attorney. This guy was one of the best patent lawyers at our company at the time... Really intelligent and a lot of people looked up to him and there were instances where the fate of the company was in his hands (when the company was young and smaller). Now this guy has to deal a lot with patents and contracts, right? reading them... editing them... approving them... and so on. So with these documents that are typically around 20 pages but sometimes are up to 50 there is a lot of that involved. The editing process, for this guy, however, was slightly different... You see, he didn't know how to copy and paste. So what does he do, you ask? He retypes every single contract and patent as it comes through even for just slight edits... Retypes the whole fucking thing. 20 pages.... With every... single... document he gets... He does this for 2 years before someone finds out and introduces him to copy and paste. One of my favorite workplace stories.
Legofestdestiny ยท 996 points ยท Posted at 22:34:06 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On the other hand, this is maybe why he is so good at what he does. Nothing makes you learn something better than writing it down.
Heroshade ยท 152 points ยท Posted at 05:55:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I was gonna say I kind of respect that. That's serious dedication. You can copy and paste something without actually reading it. If you're retyping the whole thing, you're getting every single word out of it. Certainly not the most time-effective way to go about it of course.
How did he react when he found out?
lizardwizard7 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:54:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OP pls
leshake ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:59:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Not with patent stuff. I work in the field. Most of it is utterly banal and useless. Some applications are 200+ pages. Half of the application is explaining what has been done before (state of the art). There is maybe two sentences of something that is interesting or new in an application. He was massively wasting his time.
seasaltMD ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:52:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I just reviewed a really banal contract to examine changes in the terms and across 5 pages of boiler plate there were less than 20 different words constituting 2 changes in the whole thing.
I can't even imagine the banality of patent staff's finer points.
I feel sorry for the guy.
succulent_headcrab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. Reading your comment just finally made me realize what the phrase "state if the art" means. It was always just an expression meaning latest/greatest but I never thought about the words that mean "it's the current state of this discipline/technology".
leshake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ya, ironically it means that it's what everyone does, not that it is novel.
Not_Joshy ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:23:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That how I learned I must not tell lies.
mooloor ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 00:49:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Again...And again...And again...
Dakka_jets_are_fasta ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:44:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And again...And again...And again...
Professor_Pun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And again...And again...And again...
pielord92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Express yourself!
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 06:33:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can confirm this. I teach programming. I tell my students NEVER use copy paste. Always type in the code.
AlllRkSpN ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 06:48:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My school gave us sample code in image format so we wouldn't copy-paste it.
I used image-to-text software and they started giving us low-resolution images...
spacemanspiff30 ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 07:33:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As I always say, if you want to find the most efficient way to do something, assign the task to the laziest person.
JPK314 ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 10:53:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"'I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.' -spacemanspiff30" -Bill Gates
spacemanspiff30 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:00:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It may surprise you to learn that anyone with management experience is capable of coming up with the same concept. Until I posted this, I honestly was not aware that was a saying attributed to him. But I will say that it has held true for years in my experience.
JPK314 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's fair, no harm no foul
WhatTheOnEarth ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:37:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
-- Bill Gates
OneRedSent ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:33:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Frank Gilbreth is who I heard it attributed to. But he probably wasn't the first either.
ThirdFloorGreg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:26:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Is that the dad from Cheaper by the Dozen (book, not movie)?
OneRedSent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Yep! That's where I read it.
ThirdFloorGreg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:06:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All I remember from that book was the film promo of their family having dinner that ended up being shown at double speed. Also "Therblig" buy I have no idea what it actually meant, just that it was (almost) "Gilbreth" backward.
Enesmirac ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:30:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
-Albert Einstein
nico-demus ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:07:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
RainDags ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:41:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Epicmanman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:32:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
-clippy
KillgarOfKillgaria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
--Albus Dumbledore
leafsleep ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:47:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
only works if theyre competent as well! and you usually can't tell... because they're so lazy
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:21:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad says this about me all the time because I always come up with easy and efficient ways to do yard work.
lolidkwtfrofl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would just find a way to not do it at all.
PM_ME_DICK_PICTURES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same. I just googled the name and part of the code , and a finished result would pop up which I would copy and paste.
EverySingleDay ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 06:47:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They're going to have to learn how to copy and paste eventually... And when they do, they're not going to have the habit of double-checking their paste if you haven't drilled that habit into them.
You shouldn't teach them never to do it, you should teach them it's like fire... It's a very powerful tool, but can cause disaster if you use it without respecting it by not giving it the attention it deserves.
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 06:57:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
copy paste from websites, especially of code, results in some hard to trace down issues.
" U+0022 QUOTATION MARK
โ U+201C LEFT DOUBLE QUOTATION MARK
โ U+201D RIGHT DOUBLE QUOTATION MARK
EverySingleDay ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:00:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's an issue a programmer will spend hours struggling with once, and then never again. I would argue that, as such, it's better dealt with in a classroom setting rather than a workplace setting.
doorknob60 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:18:20 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck MS Word and similar programs (don't remember which programs I ran into this with) for automatically doing that. I can paste code into word, immediately copy/paste it back, and it will already not work.
These problems were not very common from websites (usually official documentation or places like Stack Overflow), and much more common from textbook provided resources and other stuff where, often, we were expected to copy baseline code to work on. Copying code out of PDFs is terrible...
MissNesbitt ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:13:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or just inherit everything and hope it works out
ThatKennedy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:53:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Totally. Back in school I didn't really have to study but I took notes on goddamn everything. I figured I'd work harder in class so I didn't have to outside of class.
Legofestdestiny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same, almost never studied in Uni just had to write EVERYTHING the prof. said.
dragon34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:44 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Weirdly for me it was the opposite. My senior year, after I had a job lined up, I stopped taking notes. And I actually started understanding the material better and having better memory of it. It's like the knowledge was coming in my ears and eyes and leaking out of my hands when I was taking notes, and it actually stayed in my brain when I wasn't.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:18:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a programmer, and that would be complete hell to have to retype thousands of lines of code to fix any error. It would work, but it would be hell.
redisforever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That, and it means he knows the entire contract, as he retyped the whole thing.
ThirdFloorGreg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Opposite for me. Once something is written down, as far as my brain is concerned it has now been transferred to off-site storage and can be safely discarded.
drs43821 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
as for legal stuff, it's probably his way to make sure he reads and understands every single letter and words of the document
omegapisquared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:48 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
like the ocd doctor in Scrubs
splanktor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:52 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually theyve proven that while it is true writing stuff down is a fantastic way to commit things to memory, typing does not have that effect at all because the speed at which you can type means that you dont even really have to process the thought.
Legofestdestiny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:27 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ah, well that is interesting. Glad I was in university before laptops were a thing, otherwise I wouldn't have remembered anything.
hgfdsgvh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:54 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is true for some but there have actually been some peer reviewed studies showing group X learns better visually, group Y learns better through vocalized instruction, group Z (your reference) learns better through repetition, group A retains more by reading new information silently to themselves, and the last group I can think of, B; learns through trial and error (like our beloved homework!! However this also combines the style of learning you mentioned) When I first read about it it made total sense because I learn best through a X & Z combo. Which is lucky because that's how a classroom is typically structured. However, this might also just be the best proven method of retaining information and that's why they do it this way.
It's interesting stuff but especially helpful to learn early on how you retain information best. I only wish I knew this in my earliest college days! I was totally use to "just showing up" and getting an A because all the concepts being taught I either already knew or could understand just by being present during the lecture.
doingthehumptydance ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 01:13:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably billing at $400 an hour.
craz3d ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:14:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know an attorney who is probably about 40. He was talking about having shoulder surgery or something and I asked how it'd affect his work. He said he doesn't type anything. Always dictation so other people type for him. Wow.
ryken ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:34:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are many attorneys like this still. Whenever my assistant gets whiny about how much work she has I just remind her about the whole working for young guys who type all their own shit out for her thing.
craz3d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:34 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Before law school, I worked for an old school lawyer who dictated...only. I'd print the emails and lawyer would dictate a response, which I would print as a draft. Then I'd send. Then I also had all the other work of following up on prior correspondence, organizing incoming records/pleadings/etc. Calendar. I don't think the current legal assistants in my office get how easy their job is compared to when I did it not but a decade ago. I did everything current staff does + dictation + drafted "easy" pleadings (forms) for review. And I still got bored.
adrianmonk ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:34:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If he became a lawyer before computers hit, he might have had to do that same process with an electric typewriter. My typing teacher in the 80s said she had been a legal secretary for a while, and you had to type an entire legal-sized page without making any errors. With electric typewriters, it was common to use correction tape if you made an error, but according to her this wasn't allowed on legal documents because of worry that someone would claim it had been tampered with after it was signed.
Point being, if you're used to typing 60-80 lines of text without a single error, and doing it efficiently, merely having to retype a document on a system that has a freaking backspace key is a huge productivity upgrade already.
๐๏ธ MrJoeSchmo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:31:02 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty amazed by this one. I'm surprised he never asked anybody if there was a way to make it faster!
Steffisews ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:52:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No...think of the shame at outing himself. Loss of face would have been massive.
ThirdFloorGreg ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:34:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He probably had done it with typewriters for years and just never thought there might be another way.
Bahamute ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:48:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually completely reasonable. It forces him to completely read through the contract and ensure he doesn't miss anything.
roses_and_rainbows ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:58:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On the other hand, it also makes him more likely to introduce mistakes.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:09:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My step mom actually did this for a number of years, because she didn't trust copy and paste. She refused to believe computers could do it without messing something up, and so would re-type everything she needed a copy of, including long papers, because she felt her own mistakes would be easier to fix.
I'd like to know how the person who convinced her to try it did it, cause she's a stubborn woman.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:07:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Idk sounds like a badass. Head so wrapped up in knowing the law he can't even be bothered to learn to copy and paste. I worked as a legal secretary once those people are sharp as a fucking razor.
horriblekids ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:42:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder how many words per minute he could type before he finally learned to copy and paste. Or if he typed extra slow to get those billable hours...
AlllRkSpN ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:50:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can type sentences faster than [ctrl]+[c, v] but you bet I'd still copy them.
dont_worryaboutit139 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:52:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lawyer right? So paid by the minute, right?
Hiregina ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:24:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm certainly guilty of this, but on a more complicated level. Back in the good old elementary school days, I played Neopets like it was the true meaning of life. "User lookups" aka user pages and pet pages could be altered with basic html codes.
Being 6 or 7, not knowing that copy and pasting existed, took code provided by other websites and typed every single letter and symbol. It took me hours. And if there was a single mistake, I'd erase it all and start again. On the plus side, I learned html at a super young age and can type like a speed demon now. I remember being absolutely baffled when my older brother showed me how to C&P. It was literally like magic before my very eyes.
GothWitchOfBrooklyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:57:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was helping a really brilliant lawyer (over the phone) who couldn't do ANYTHING on his computer. I asked him to google something and he had to have the secretary come do it for him, she told me he was trying to google through Outlook.
BikerRay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Remember seeing a video of an instructor showing a group how to use a text editor (early days). "Now if you want to correct this word in the middle of the sentence..." Proceeded to hit backspace about twenty times.
pinerw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus... I'm a lawyer, and like 80% of what I do is finding an older document that's reasonably similar to what I need, then copy/paste in the relevant changes.
olde_greg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Considering this guy was a patent lawyer in really surprised he was this inept. To be admitted to the patent bar you need a background in science. As a result, many patent lawyers have engineering degrees. So for him not to know computer basics is astounding to me. Unless of course he was really old and attended school before computers were common.
MelbourneFL321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He also bills clients by the hour. Teaching him copy/paste cost the firm millions
hypervelocityvomit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:36 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's a wikipedian, too. However, all of his contributions have been CSD'ed (reason #G1).
MadLintElf ยท 3436 points ยท Posted at 19:21:25 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guy spilt a glass of water on his laptop and complained very loudly that it wasn't working. When I picked it up and the water ran out I said that's why.
His response was priceless "What kind of an idiot do you think I am, all laptops are waterproof".
I had his manager explain that they weren't...
[deleted] ยท 942 points ยท Posted at 22:13:32 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always throught throwing water over computers was just a quick way to destroy them in movies
Eddie_Hitler ยท 777 points ยท Posted at 00:07:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They don't always get destroyed, though.
I saw something in /r/talesfromtechsupport the other day about a server which got soaked due to an air conditioning fault. There was literally a puddle inside the case, components were submerged etc. and this had happened while it was powered on.
After drying out for a few days the server actually worked again... and continued to do so for a couple more years.
Whatthefuckamisaying ยท 311 points ยท Posted at 01:16:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's when you drop soft drinks/coffee with sugar, the sugar is the thing that fucks everything up
STOCHASTIC_LIFE ยท 302 points ยท Posted at 01:44:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Well unless you drop distilled water in it, most liquids can be conductive enough to cause a short.
e: please reply telling me how circuit dirt + distilled water will cause a short
[deleted] ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 02:00:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To fix this just pour liquid mercury on it before it breaks. This kills the water.
Lupin_AAGL ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 02:12:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wanna say it probably kills the human too but I don't know enough mercury-science
xmikaelmox ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 09:02:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"SIR, I am NOT a mercury person so I don't know."
zangor ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:25:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was always methylized mercury that ya had to worry about (TECHNICALLY). Talking about insane ways to poison yourself was a mainstay of adv inorganic chem. I don't even why I took that class. I was a mol neurosci major.
xmikaelmox ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 12:47:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A MERCURY PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO LEAVE THIS SITE"
6xydragon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:08:03 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
3meta5fast
Lupin_AAGL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:32:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
2meta2fast
OneGoodRib ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:26:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just don't ingest the mercury and you'll be okay maybe.
ninjaclone ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:16:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
mercury can be absorbed through the skin xD
Edit: since someone decided to downvote a fact after someone asked for it, here is the source
Coffeezilla ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:49:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It also gives off toxic fumes and is a conductor.
TheDreadGazeebo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's also poisonous and deadly ~LOL xD~
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And according to some safety thing I was taught after mercury light bulbs became popular:
open all windows, doors and shit all while not breathing. Now stay the fuck away from that house.
You know what? Fuggetabowtit burn the house down. It's the only way to insure your safety, the child sleeping inside the houses safety, and your computer's safety
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:21:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I spilled beer in my computer once and killed it before anything shorted.
It was fine - I like to think it was better for the experience, but it was not.
thebeef24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:25:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you ingest mercury you should smoke some cigarettes to kill the toxins.
Breadmako ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do I look like an astrolomer to you?
Qvar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:17 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I shudder every time I remember how I played with the mercury that time our thermometer broke.
wadded ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:19:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even if you drop in distilled water there is usually enough stuff on the board that can go into solution and cause some small shorts
RogueBookwurm ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:45:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Makes sense, IIRC the water in the story came from an air conditioner so it would be pretty distilled.
LewsTherinTelamon ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:12:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No water in an air conditioner would be pure enough to be nonconductive - even the smallest amount of electrolyte would do the trick.
H4xolotl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:48:15 on August 25, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
dunno, it could be water vapour condensed on plastic parts.
Literally 100% pure
LewsTherinTelamon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:02:55 on August 25, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even condensed water vapor would immediately dissolve electrolytes from the surface. It is extraordinarily difficult to get water so pure that it is not conductive.
asmodeuskraemer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:25:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mmm. Sexy, sexy science.
Jazk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:37:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An ac failure is likely to be nearly distilled water.
FireStorm005 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:02:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well the water out of the AC unit is condensation so it would be equivalent to being distilled.
BurntRussian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Why not distilled water?
Feynnehrun ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 02:41:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Water in and of itself is not conductive. Impurities within the water are however conductive. This is why components for things like the outdated LORAN C transmitters were submerged in water to keep them cool.
BurntRussian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:10:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for the response!
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:53:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
5up3rK4m16uru ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:45:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Technically it is slightly conductive due to OH- - and H3O+ -Ions, which always get randomly generated
BurntRussian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for replying!
PMmeYourSins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe if there's a few years' worth of dust inside and the dust happens to contain a very large amount of soil minerals, this has a chance of becoming conductive. Doesn't seem likely.
Drakon45464 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:32:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
isn't water in its purest form a poor conductor of electricity?
horrorshowmalchick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:50:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Circuit dirt" can include salt from user's accumulated finger-sweat and sugar from user's accumulated donut-paws. These dissolve in the water and increase its conductivity.
unclefisty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:05:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pure water is poorly conductive. It's the contaminants in the water than allow it to conduct electricity.
LewsTherinTelamon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:12:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Distilled water won't carry charge because it lacks electrolytes to carry charge. However, "circuit dirt," and almost anything else, will contain electrolytes that the water will dissolve, becoming conductive.
That is, if it wasn't conductive in the first place - water has to be extremely pure to be nonconductive, and simple distillation often does not do the trick.
source: chemist.
Wizardof1000Kings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:59:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
coffee is conductive enough to cause a short. Can confirm from experience.
BigBoom550 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only if there is enough dirt. Your ipod is probably safe from pure water.
XAM2175 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I vaguely remember reading years ago of an attempt to massively overclock a P4 where they just submerged the entire thing in ethanol.
garblesnarky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
actually, circuit dirt + distilled water will cause a short
unclear_plowerpants ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:21:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Distilled water may not be conductive, but only until it comes in contact with all the dust on and inside your computer, this will most likely have enough salts in it to make it conducting and cause a short.
siler7 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:27:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would guess even distilled water would screw up the average computer pretty quickly after it dissolved all the surface crud from the components.
noneuclidiansquid ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:26:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen cordial (or the sugary remains of cordial) cause a fire as it set itself alight while shorting inside a USB port. That was pretty entertaining.
Cyberdaemon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:24:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I managed to spill lemon juice on the keyboard of the family computer as a kid. Cause drinking lemon juice was a thing.
gnorty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:06:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the sugar and the acid. Acid and electricity are a pretty corrosive combination for copper.
btribble ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who's completely disassembled, cleaned, and reassembled several Coke soaked keyboards, this is true.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:59:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, it's the minerals in the water that tend to fuck you over. Things tend to corrode and cause shorts.
WorkthatweDo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once dropped milk on my laptop, still works.
MagicalCMonster ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:21:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I spilled a latte in my new laptop, turned it sideways and the latte was dripping into a puddle on my desk. I just let it sit there and drain for awhile... It's still working great several years later.
OneRedSent ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:35:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.
MagicalCMonster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:10:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I'm happy to report there are no ants. And it was a one-time incident so I haven't been baiting them with my laptop.
LaskaBear ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:27:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My laptop and my phone have both survived spills by water/coke. Soak them bad boys in raw oats and it should fix it. I've done this with multiple phones/keyboards/laptops.
noneuclidiansquid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I usually find water is ok if you pull the battery quickly and then let them dry , it's coke or any soft drink, milk, tea, curry, coffee and cat pee that does them in ...
motorlatitude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:28:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not my proudest moment, but I managed to accidentally pour 3/4 of a mug of hot tea over my macbook. Fucking shat my pants, but it was fine, just got a paper towel and dried off the surface water and continued using it. It's still fine now, 3 years later, that was probably the luckiest day of my life...
Batwyane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
really the killer when it comes to water damage is the resulting corrosion. or in the case of beverages, crap that builds up and interrupts random circuits.
Barrel_Titor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, my router was submerged when my house was flooded, worked fine for about 2 more years after drying out. When it broke I opened it and the entire inside was corroded.
soyeahiknow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in college, spilled beer on my gf's new laptop. flipped the laptop over and dump as much of it out as I could. Then put it on top of a baking rack and put that over the forced air heating vent. I'm using that exact laptop 5 years later right now.
phforNZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Five more years, iirc. I remember reading that story too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As long as nothing shorts, NBD. But the overwhelming majority of the time, something will short.
EatMaCookies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The laptop I am using had some liquid spilt on it. I use a USB keyboard since most the buttons don't work and when I turn it on I spam click the N button on the laptop keyboard or it beeps and won't start.
Then I need to click the N button or it will scroll down nonstop and act like a key is nonstop pressed (I don't know which keys or etc), but Until I click the N button, the usb keyboard won't work.
But apart from that it works perfectly fine.
Valdrax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Electronics remind me a lot of human bodies in that they are both somehow simultaneously far tougher and far more fragile than you'd expect, often unpredictably so.
IWantAHoverbike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is true. I spilled water on my own laptop years ago while it was running. Back then I was stupider about electronics, so I flipped it over and shook it a few times to try to drain the water out. After letting it dry for a little while, booted back up and went back to work. Laptop actually worked better than ever before and is still going today.
Later saw someone else spill water on their almost-new MacBook Pro. It shut itself off immediately, which was worrisome, but after letting it dry for a few days (without shaking this time) it too booted up fine.
Arttherapist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine got hired to make a CGI film in India in the 90s when it was still a bit primitive. He flew to India ahead of the crew and arrived to help set up the studio to find that all their expensive Silicon Graphics workstations were sitting in a customs brokerage's yard on pallets outside and had been there for 6 months through monsoon season waiting to clear. They opened them up and all the motherboards were coated in green algae. They hosed them all off and let them dry out for a couple days, then reassembled them and surprisingly about half of them worked. They produced probably the worst CGI movie ever released using those machines. He cashed his check and moved to LA to work on the Matrix movies doing motion capture.
TheRealCPR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a laptop that went through so much abuse it should've died multiple times.
Three years after getting it as a graduation present I spilled a full can of sweet tea on it. I immediately powered it off, took the battery out and let it dry for a few days. It powered up without any issue and, besides the sticky keys, it worked fine.
Since it was already a pain to use, it transitioned to playing music in the shower (2006 was a tough year for bathroom speakers). It still played music fine but every once in a while the screen would shut down and only come back if I applied pressure in just the right spots.
A couple years later it recovered and was working a little more consistently. Not great but enough to be turn off of bathroom duty. My roommate was using it and spilled a cup of water on/in it. He turned it off and flipped it over to dry. When I got home an hour later he told me what happened and showed me my computer. He had turned it over, right into the power button. This thing had been running for about an hour after it got soaked.
I pulled the battery out and put it away for a bit. I forgot about it for a week or so as I was trying to figure out a way to get a new computer. I decided to power it up and see if I could recover anything that was on it.
Surprisingly, it worked like a champ! It ran as fast as always, the screen stayed on, and the keys were no longer sticky. This thing kept going for a year until I got another laptop. I sold it to a friend for super cheap and it lasted his daughter another couple years.
I'm sure this only happened because of all my previous electronic sacrifices to the Aqua god. I was a irresponsible youth...
hunkmonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had a friend whose wife spilled a cup of coffee on her keyboard. He tossed it in the dishwasher, ran it through a regular wash cycle including drying, hooked it back up and it worked fine. Go figure.
VIPERsssss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
That happened to me too. My Compaq Proliant 800 was full of water and kept running slower and slower until I managed to shut it down (that was a tense few minutes). Dried it out with the exhaust side of a data-vac and reassembled it. It ran for several more years before I replaced it.
Nathan16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was it at Niantic?
Wolfie_Ecstasy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I spilt an entire glass of water on the first laptop my parents gave me as a teenager. I was horrified but I dried it out and let it sit a couple of days before turning it on again. Worked just fine. It even made that frying noise you hear in the movies, so I thought it was done for.
Captain-Griffen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience the water itself or shorting doesn't generally cause that much damage. I guess modern electronics is pretty durable in that regard.
Residue on the other hand? Yea, that fucks them up. Distilled air con water won't leave that behind, so probably good.
Source: Impressed at how effective sonic baths or whatever the repair center uses can fix broken laptops from spills without replacing parts.
igdub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:04:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would imagine the air from waterconditioning unit is more pure. Talking from a far off memory but I believe it's the shit that's in the water that's the most harmful agent when dried.
McCabe89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:14:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have the link to this story. It may be my work, this happened to us just before Christmas last year.
Our server room fire prevention system thought there was a fire, so it soaked the server room. 2 weeks of 'im sorry all our systems are down currently' then boom, it dried out and 'works' again.
C477um04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And I was suprised enough when my usb stick still worked after going through the washing machine. It wasn't even one on the ones with a cap, just a loose metal cover that spins around to cover the front.
BikerRay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have a handheld GPS that was under water for three days (boat capsized while I was away). Device was full. Took it apart, let it dry. Still works years later.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As long as the water doesn't cause a short or corrosion, it won't do much. Technically you should be able to pour distilled water over a powered pc with minimal consequences. I wouldn't recommend it though.
crozone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just wipe/spray the mobo down with Isopropyl alcohol, it'll remove any corrosion that might have bridged contacts, and help evaporate any water that remains.
Maxfunky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Since it was condensation, it was distilled water. Therefore, not conductive. Hypothetically, anyways. I imagine and actuality it depends on how clean the server casing was and how much dust it picked up on the way inside.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
About two weeks ago I spilled a full cup of coffee directly onto the keyboard of my laptop, while it was powered on. After immediately powering it off and d/cing the battery, giving it a wipedown and letting it air-dry for like 3 hours, motherfucker still works. I'm amazed how waterproof SOME modern laptops can be (and mine ain't fancy just some best buy HP $500 stuff). I fully expected to have to replace it, but after two treatments with alcohol and q-tips all I have to show for my stupid coffee placement is a sticky spacebar.
waltjrimmer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:43 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And I thought it was lucky when my cat spilled a bowl of milk onto my laptop and it didn't explode. (Laptop has survived for about a year and a half since the milk incident.)
Lithiumlaced ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:46:26 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've spilt things on two laptops, first lemonade and second water. Both work after pulling them apart and drying them out. One needed a new keyboard though, but a couple years on they are fine
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:49:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Rice fixes a heap of things.
Wet laptop: 0/10
Wet laptop with rice: 10/10
Greggster990 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Rice dust can get into the electronics though. Silicon packets like what you find in beef jerky, work better.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:22:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Rice is also cheaper.
doingthehumptydance ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:01:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope that's how you destroy witches.
Sheesh!
M_C_Prolapse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:53:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Computers, witchcraft, same thing really.
VladimirsPoutine ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:59:35 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was just an urban legend to keep kids away from computers so they can't look at internet porn
Blast338 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was playing Resident evil on the Wii. There are quick time events that require you to swing the remote or press a button. I got one that required you to swing the remote left and right really fast. Knocked over an entire glass of iced tea onto my laptop. I dropped the remote and unplugged the laptop and took the battery out. Let the laptop dry out for a day or two after using a towel to dry as much as I could fist. Fired it up after two days and it works just fine. Had to use a Clorox while to get the keys to stop sticking.
Arancaytar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:24:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only if you want them to crackle and explode. Movie computers are made out of static electricity and explodium.
reloadingnow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:32:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not really. There's an episode in Mr Robot that shows how to properly destroy a computer and all the data it contains.
MasterEnsis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:10:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Which is bullshit. When you destroy a notebook, you probably want to destroy the data. The hard drive is more or less waterproof, so they (at best) only destroy the rest of the hardware.
aqua_zesty_man ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:45:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No no no, the only reliable ways to kill a computer are to bash the monitor with a baseball bat or to shoot that box on the desk called the hard drive at least twice.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
However beware the memory stick. That could be a wmd for all we know, bwtter hack it by hitting random keys over a green backdrop
exelion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:23:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Water won't likely affect a hard drive much which is the part you generally care about destroying in those scenes.
TheHornyCripple ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Liberally applying Mountain Dew works well too.
jmechsg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yea me too.
Frozen5147 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It heavily depends on how fast you treat it, and where the water gets into.
IIRC, if you get water into the PSU, that might not end well, and could end up damaging other components.
On the other hand, if you leave a laptop out in the rain, it can still be recovered if you do it properly.
Nik_Tesla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That will very likely fry some component, but the data is very likely recoverable.
Had a lan party where someone spilled two entire beers into his (open) computer case. It took a few hours with a hair dryer and towels, but we got it up and running again, and renamed the computer Frankenstein.
Tartantyco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have an old, banged up Amiga lying around that has had everything from water and soda to tea and coffee spilled in it, and it still runs fine. It's a trooper.
ABigRedBall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:26 on October 25, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're thinking of microwaves.
devanoharo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually spilled a whole nalgene water bottle on mine while using it. Luckily, I acted fast and removed the battery and kept the laptop upside down until it was completely drained. Then, I put a fan on the keyboard for a few hours and I swear it runs faster now.
MojoLester ยท 332 points ยท Posted at 23:20:24 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Insert video of that Indian drama with the girl washing the laptop like it was a dish
edit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dliUKvE_wo
Nestornaitor ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 03:50:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me when I've watched some nasty ass porn.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 07:32:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But she hangs it to dry like its clothes!
SosX ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 08:45:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit what is this? What is the context? Why does it have that music? It's perfect!
nimphette ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 19:33:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The context is that Indian dramas always have the character of the naive, uneducated but well meaning wife or daughter in law who marries up and makes a few mistakes trying to assimilate into her new class status. Idk, I guess it's a trope that people love. In this case, I'm guessing the husband mentioned something about the laptop needing to be rebooted or cleaned and she took that to mean actually cleaning it.
SuccessAndSerenity ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 11:26:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just reminded me of those kids books about Amelia Bedelia who took everything literally. Good times.
nupanick ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:11:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There was a big stink recently when some of us found that they made a new spin-off series where Amelia Bedelia is a 12-year old kid and that's why she's so literal now.
The whole point was that she was a grown woman having trouble with english, and we could sympathize with that since we were all still learning it ourselves! If you have to cheapen the premise, at least change her name! Otherwise, what, are you implying she didn't improve one bit in 20 years? What message is that sending?!
drinkscocoaandreads ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:19 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hear about computers getting "scrubbed" a lot. Presumably she heard that, too.
Batman_Von_Suparman2 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:24:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This bothers me greatly
LoraRolla ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:25:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She looks so confident in what she's doing.
HandwovenBox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:16:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Need to scrub the hard drive.
BikerRay ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:25:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
His eyes at the end o o
statist_steve ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:59:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's up with the Who Wants to be a Millionaire music?
Threeedaaawwwg ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:06:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it was supposed to be suspenseful. "THE FILES ARE IN THE COMPUTER!"
bayareasikh ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:21:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a soap opera
MadLintElf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:42:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, I'm sending out the link to all my tech's now, that's hysterical!
Terryfrankkratos2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:40:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
link pls
MojoLester ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:41:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dliUKvE_wo
I was at work earlier
BearBryant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:21:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
STOP. PLEASE.
Hoax13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not enough song and dance.
sephstorm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:06 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lovely necklace.
cC2Panda ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:42:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend is from India and I could totally see a maid doing this.
Socialbutterfinger ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:34:25 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work with a woman who would periodically clean her keyboard by spraying copious amounts 409 directly on the keys and wiping across the whole thing.
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We have waterproof keyboards and routinely stick the in a sink and scrub them with soap and water.
BackstrokeBitch ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:49:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dog peed on my laptop. It died.
*NOT THE DOG
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man that reminds me, we had these laptops on carts that nurses would use when dispensing meds. One day we get a ticket that just says it's not working, send a new tech up to get the laptop so we can look at it in the shop.
As he enters the shop he starts going up the ramp, I see yellow liquid falling out of it and tell him to stop and go wash his hands really well.
Grabbed a biohazard bag and taped the whole thing up and brought it back up to the floor. Sat down with the nurse manager and had a nice long talk about biosafety and how one of her nurses spilled a urine sample on said laptop.
Then I politely asked her to have the laptop disposed of as a biohazard.
Poor new tech, he was gagging when I told him what was in that laptop.
joelthezombie15 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:21:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish electronics engineers just bit the bullet and made everything waterproof anymore it would make everything so much better.
Imagine if cars weren't even remotely waterproof. Shit would be so annoying.
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you see the video of the tesla driving in water?
The military has hardened most if not all of it's electronics from water/sand, and the eventual EMP.
Loki-L ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:01:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair most of the better business laptops doe have some built in features to deal with spills.
Thinkpads have these little holes in their keyboards that makes water spilled into them run down though the notebook without damaging it.
Just let it dry out and chances are it will be fine.
If you spill coal or some other sticky liquid you may have to replace the keyboard though.
level3ninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How many miners do you get spilling coal on their keyboards?
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We're using HP's and honestly they don't hold up too well to water damage.
As for cola or sticky stuff spills I've actually soaked the keyboard in alcohol then wiped it down and let it dry off and have been pretty successful.
AOEUD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:43:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But why aren't they? We've had $12 waterproof watches for decades, why can't we waterproof a $1000 laptop?
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because then they wouldn't break and we wouldn't give them more money to get a new one.
eazolan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:03:55 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He has a point.
Why would creatures who are made mostly of water, build delicate electronic devices that aren't waterproof?
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:47 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Economics, it's more costly to waterproof an electronic device.
MyIQis76 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:02:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ouch. R.I.P his job.
MadLintElf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:33:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, his wallet, he was a higher up and made a pretty penny. His boss refused to buy him another one so he had to pony up the cash and buy a new one.
He treated that one much better.
MyIQis76 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:43:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I thought it was a laptop supplied by the company.
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The original one was supplied by the company, since he destroyed it he had to pay for a replacement.
He was an executive making 6 figures and then some so I'm sure it didn't hurt his wallet too bad.
impasseable ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:57:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A few years back when I was in college the warranty was going to expire soon on my shitty laptop. I proceeded to leave it outside in the snow and -10 degree weather for a week. Brought it back inside, and the fucking thing is still working, 7 years later. Granted, it's not my primary laptop anymore.
1cculu5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now it's the porn laptop
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have 2-24 inch monitors that were in a room that flooded and I mean big time flooded, they were dripping when I found them and we wrote them off as damaged and replaced them.
Left them by a cooling vent in the data center for 2 weeks to make sure they were completely dry. Plugged them in and viola they worked, now they are sitting on my home desktop.
Sometimes electronics refuse to die.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:41:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's actually a time traveler from the future, where all laptops are water-proof.
MadLintElf ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:00:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or he was ex military and use to have a toughbook..
korainato ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:29:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How else are you supposed to clean up the viruses then you big genius?
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:55:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bleach, definitely lot's of bleach.
savvy_knee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:50:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like a guy trying to upgrade his work laptop without filling a request
MadLintElf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:26:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was a brand new laptop, literally set it up for him earlier in the day.
savvy_knee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:56:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha
ILikeRedditAWholeLot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:34:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish this man was correct. I miss having a laptop. My desktop is great but I knew spilling rum and coke all over my MacBook probably wouldn't be a one time deal. 2013 was a rough one for me.
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey if you have the cash Panasonic has some great hardened toughbooks that can withstand an EMP let alone a spill.
dagamer291 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:11:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most computers can survive getting wet you just need to let it dry out for a few days before trying to turn it back on. It only breaks when you try to power it up while it's still wet
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most of the good ones will work after you dry them out, unfortunately for him it was a crappy HP laptop (or craptop).
dagamer291 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:05:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed hp makes some shitty laptops
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's okay, our super smart overlords have chosen to switch to Dell products now, it's going to be Okie Dokie from there on out.
chittychop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:51:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I spilled an entire pint of Guinness down my laptop. Still works like a charm!
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's because Guinness is great beer, your laptop appreciated it!
ihatehiphop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:00 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin used to work for geek squad and one time an elderly man came in and told him his cup holder was broken. Cup holder = CD Drive lol.
MadLintElf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:56 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I use to use Cain and Abel to mess with my friends and remote control their computers. I would embed the client into a cute little program that said played the happy birthday song and said enjoy your present, a coffee cup holder and it would pop open the cd-rom drive.
Then I could use their camera, install a keylogger, generate random system error messages "Your dilithium crystals need recrystallizing".
Tons of fun.
[deleted] ยท -24 points ยท Posted at 20:45:07 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Dragon_Fisting ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 22:42:47 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because they don't. You're full of it. Even a power supply dying just pops and smokes. Nothing in your computer could generate an actual explosion regardless of size.
waldojim42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:23:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes they can. I have personally taken part in two such explosions. They are quite fun. Shorts can have incredibly fun results.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 22:54:38 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
friday6700 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 23:14:17 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is where he back-pedals on the size of the "explosion" after calling him out. If you keep it going, eventually he'll admit it was just a spark.
CentaurOfDoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:44 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Feels like you're changing your story to match what people actually know.
CPUs dont "Explode". If anything, something inside melts and thats.... about it. At most I could maybe see a little bit of smoke?
SoldierHawk ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:39:39 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ignore the pedantic asshats. I, and I'm sure they, know what you mean.
I'll send the /r/thathappened heroes their honorary magnifying glasses and deerstalkers later.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:23:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Terryfrankkratos2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your giving yourself too much credit.
SoldierHawk ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:30:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well the good news is, they're taking away our internet points as we speak, so justice has been served.
bradhuds ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 21:07:57 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/thathappened
tpb1908 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 21:21:02 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Could have been the power supply blowing. But that wouldn't have been anything to do with the people using the computer.
The_Trumpinator ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:02:53 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do they really explode though? Only time I've seen one explode was during a lightning strike.
buttery_shame_cave ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:12:37 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i've had one or two eat themselves destructively. failed capacitors can go off really loudly and if something shorts the insulation is going to smolder and produce a ton of smoke.
tpb1908 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:07:06 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe, I think there are some videos on YouTube of proper explosions. Most of the time I think they just smoke/catch fire. I suppose the capacitors could blow up with a bit of a bang.
WinXP_MasterRace ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:55:22 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine exploded last year. I was downstairs at the time and heard what sounded like a shelf falling over and a quick flash of light. Went upstairs to see the pc gently smoking in the corner
waldojim42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have seen two instances of this. My first, was when I was overclocking an 80486. I had rigged up my own fan (as those little 20mm fans just weren't doing it), and used electrical tape over the new power connections... I was 12 or 13 at the time. At one point, I shut off the power and flipped the machine over to adjust power and multiplier settings.
The tape moved. The machine hadn't finished shutting off yet, and the now exposed power cable landed up against the motherboards chipset. That was the single most violent reaction I have seen in a computer. Blasted a hole right through the motherboard. And the chipset for what that is worth.
Second one is even more comical really. In high school we had a computer networking class. Part of this included A+ prep, and at the time the A+ prep included tearing apart a PC and putting it back together. A buddy of mine and I decided to be a smart ass - and tore apart EVERYTHING. Power supply in pieces, case in pieces, etc. Just ripped apart. Labeled all the parts, and reassembled. Killed a day screwing around with it.
Some of our classmates were... well, less smart. They didn't know their limits, and these were older AT style machines. They decided to do the same because it was a great waste of time. Only when one of them plugged it in, the power cord exploded in his hand. They had shorted the power supply. Lots of screaming and crying was involved. The instructor lost her shit, blamed my partner and I, and completely forgot to let that kid get medical attention. I laughed.
edit: HOLY CARP! IT'S MY CAKE DAY!
The_Canadian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:37 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or you could be like that guy who had his SSD catch fire at a party and cause a girl to shit her pants. Link for anyone interested.
PretzelsThirst ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:46:28 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is a case of you retelling this story enough times that you believe it.
ForTheWilliams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I submit this comment to the thread!
I jest. This is /r/thathappened material, but there's much worse here.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:24 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that never happens
Skuldpt ยท 434 points ยท Posted at 22:54:58 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had an art history teacher that would blame everything on the "cookies". Browser dragging itself? Cookies. Taking too long to load a video on yt? Cookies. School internet acting up? Cookies. Windows had to update? Damn cookies. Computer had to restart? These damn cookies.
And no, she wasn't playing around, she also googled for google every time.
fantabularistical ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 04:39:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The word cookies has lost all meaning.
say_fuck_no_to_rules ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:44:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's such a dumb word for "website save file."
(Yes, I know they're not "save files" but people would be so much less suspect of them.)
flameoguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:00 on January 22, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What are they, then?
joker38 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:29:18 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So, just like the verb "smurf"?
flameoguy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:04:49 on January 22, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Smurf?
joker38 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:24:15 on January 22, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Smurfs#Language
wowjerrysuchtroll ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:24:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Semantic satiation.
adrianmonk ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 08:53:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Probably watched too much of the local TV news. "And at 11, we'll tell you about the computer threat everyone needs to watch out for. It's called 'cookies', and you won't believe what it can do." Then when you tune in, the reporter mangles the information and leaves viewers with the impression that computers can install a GPS chip into their skull if they stare at the monitor for too long.
StewartDC8 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 08:00:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have diabetes? Cookies.
HalfObsession ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:55:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't know what to bring to the party? Cookies.
barneybuttloaves ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:15:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My dad still insists on deleting my history when my browser lags. He also would delete the history/cookies/passwords himself after a session on my computer, which is also annoying.
DrPinus ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 12:16:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yeees... I am certain that's why he insists on deleting the history whenever someone else is near the computer... Lag. Or any other tre letter word, take your pick.
IronElephant ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:24:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
pron?
DrPinus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:39:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Close enough.
IronElephant ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:47:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hey its me. Ur dad.
it was pron
NotSureIfTrolls ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:39:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to freak out about cookies. It's those damn alarmist websites that they would find on yahoo news articles or something back in the 90s.
flameoguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:10 on January 22, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing with browsing without having norton antivirus active.
Dimarziomesafan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:21:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you go to spsu ? My art history teacher did the same thing
Skuldpt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:57:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope this was in portugal
[deleted] ยท 618 points ยท Posted at 19:34:50 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Titus_Favonius ยท 538 points ยท Posted at 22:08:46 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Friends my age will do this to me, I assume because they just want the answer without having to do anything. I sent one of them a link from lmgtfy.com and they were amazed, laughed and said "I'm going to need to send this to my dad next time he asks me a question!"
Completely missing the fact that I was making fun of them...
gbCerberus ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 01:26:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they were being nice and wanted to remain friends.
Enriquehotpantz ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:02:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had this girl who I am friends with but she is interested in more than that (I'm not) ask me these questions all the time. I came to realize that in this case she knew how to Google things but she used questions as an excuse to talk to me. I did the lmgtfy a few times and it also went over her head. Unfortunately, I also have had to tell her a few times that all I'm interested in is being friends. She doesn't really do it anymore.
Titus_Favonius ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:41:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It ain't that, my friends are just lazy
sheldonator ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:20:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, I did this to my mom and she didn't get it at all, just thanked me for getting her the info she wanted. This was after multiple times of telling her "ok, so just type exactly what you are asking me into google and you will find the answer"
igdub ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 09:18:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they want to start up a conversation? I do that at work all the time. Sure I could google up every single question from weather to anything else and solve it myself but some social interaction never harms.
typewriter07 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:39:36 on November 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People in my office do this all the time and it has literally never occurred to me that they could be trying to strike up a conversation. I always just thought they were idiots.
I still think they're idiots but I guess they're at least friendly idiots.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:27:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's always two options, look at it as 'they're lazy' or look at it like 'they trust you to have the right answer because they know you're the smart one'.
Titus_Favonius ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:55:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well fair enough, I guess that's more or less true for a few of my friends. Reddit sure is being nice today.
Ricechip ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:29:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey its me your friend.
Titus_Favonius ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:32:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=no+you%27re+not
ShowMeYourTiddles ยท 302 points ยท Posted at 22:43:55 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try this
[deleted] ยท 341 points ยท Posted at 23:04:51 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The most passive-aggressive website ever.
tombue ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 01:53:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's passive-aggressive when it works. A few days ago someone sent me a ltmgfy link and the search didn't bring up what I was asking for.
awe778 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:50:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well of course, you need to visit lmgtfy in order for it to work.
tombue ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:56:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I did. The Google search just didn't answer the question I had.
realistidealist ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 04:25:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The joke is you mispelled lmgtfy in your previous comment. :D
tombue ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:30:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. It's just too early for this complicated stuff.
DevoutChaos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:57:30 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let that me google for you.
awe778 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:59:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
whoosh
tombue ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:04:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's too early for jokes.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:00:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's annoying when someone links you to it despite the fact that you've already tried to google it and got no results.
S-uperstitions ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:13:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
most of the trick of google is learning to use the best search string. I actually dont mind when people send me lmgtfy links because I might learn something
Blaze_fox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:01:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
who cares? it does the job!
WTFIsHonour ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is pretty passive-aggressive too
Gl0riousGr0uch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
no, this is.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:55:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
Agarax ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 02:30:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's worse when it's the only result and they reply to themselves saying "Fixed!"
Fuck you person from 2008 with the same weird driver problem as me.
D8-42 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:36:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant as always.
ShowMeYourTiddles ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:06:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try this
TheRealPigsy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:03:43 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try this
_dani16 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:17:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Knowing my mom, she would just wonder why Google is moving on its own.
iWriteCodeSometimes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:45:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try this.
Ketchup901 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:13:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish there was an equivalent for any search engine. Like DDG or whatever website you want that has a simple search function.
XsenHellion ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 01:30:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like this one better.
apostasism ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:45:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a coworker once who would IM me these kinds of questions. "What's the capital of Cambodia?" well idk, you have access to Google just like I do. I was training her on some aspects of her job, but most of these questions were ridiculous
Enriquehotpantz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:06:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Could she have been interested in you? I posted in a reply earlier that there was a girl who liked me who would use those situations as an excuse to start a conversation.
apostasism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't think so. We're both women in hetero relationships
Enriquehotpantz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, then probably not.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:38:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend's 13 year old sister is always bugging him and sometimes me about things she could easily google herself, and she gets mad when she receives the answer, "I don't know, google it."
She also complained one day that she doesn't like her mesh wire trashcan because any crumbs she puts in there just get on her floor. When I asked if a bag was in it she went, "Ohhhh... you're supposed to put bags in them?"
kaywhaaat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The bag thing seems more a failing on her parents part... i mean clearly she should have figured it out by then, but wtf why didnt her parents teach her that?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:01:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The trashcan in the kitchen had a trash bag though.
jmon3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:04 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happens with my Dad ALL the time. "I'm thinking of getting an ACER 3X400ZYM-R, is that a good computer?"
Enriquehotpantz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:10:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It has 4 USB 2.0 ports, that's a good amount to have, right?"
Marriedtoafriend ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:36:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh! I had a customer at work ask me where the nearest retail location to her was. This is an 18 yr old going to college, and I work in a call center. She took 20+ minutes out of her day because she could manage to google maps where the nearest location to her was?????? ๐ก๐ก๐ก
manireallylovecars ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:02:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There was a few years where I lived in an apartment with my girlfriend where she'd be on the couch with her laptop in the same room as I, I'd be at my desk on my desktop doing something, and then she would ask me a question. Mostly I would type the question into google verbatim and just tell her the response (or go to the site and read for a moment or two first), which would then follow with a comment along the lines of "you know, I'm literally just typing your question into google." This sort of statement usually doesn't elicit the desired outcome.
Now we've moved to a house, which is larger and with more rooms, and she is still often doing her work/email/browsing downstairs on the sofa still. Difference being that now I am upstairs in my office at these times typically and I don't (as often) get these questions. I'm not sure, however, if she has accepted not knowing things more frequently or if she has learned herself.
Emerald_Flame ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:22:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Congratulations, I now award you with the Junior IT Associate certificate (which honestly means nothing).
Seriously, like 80% of our job is being able to use google better than normal employees.
TedTheViking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:11 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad refuses to buy a smartphone, but he periodically texts me asking for his baseball team's scores.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As someone with a smartphone and no data, he needs the second part and phones are a bitch to type on.
oblivioustoobvious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"brewers score"
Omg so tough!!!
Enriquehotpantz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well if he's a Milwaukee fan then it would be tough for him! (Meant in a friendly way, from a casual Cards fan)
oblivioustoobvious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:39:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck the Cards (for basically always being better than us).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You try getting my hands (which are very big) typing on my Lumia. There's a reason I use computers even if it takes longer.
green_meklar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:16:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's fun to do this to people using Wolfram Alpha.
kaywhaaat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom just says "look this up for me" followed by whatever she wants to know. I guess Im her secretary. Never fucking.mind she HAS A SMARTPHOME SHE CAN LOOK THIS UP ON
OR HER OWN COMPUTER.
But nooo the only thing she bothers to learn when it comes to the computer is FACEBOOK!!
OneRedSent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:48:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of reddit.
cmrudy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's easier to have you do it. Would you mind sending me your number so I can have you google things?
rosequartz_cg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom will call me to ask me to google something for her. She has a smartphone, laptop and tablet but it's 'just easier' to call me to do it for her.
slowsuby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just send him the address of the Google search you did. Lol
DunmerM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just tell him GTS, Google that shit
drinkscocoaandreads ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:51 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend's sister does this all the time. Like at 2 in the morning she'll Facebook me and ask me questions that are completely random, like typical specs on a car she's thinking of buying or what the county fair's schedule is or which school in our state has the best, cheapest online program for education majors.
Totally nuts, and I can't stop it even by not answering. She once told me at a family gathering that she sees it as my job because I am a librarian.
ABigRedBall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:18 on October 25, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Next time, use this
Eddie_Hitler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In a lot of cases you actually can.
cerem86 ยท 1606 points ยท Posted at 21:27:35 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My time to shine! I work in IT, and have done PC Repair for the past ten years before this job.
The most illiterate thing was honestly when this poor soul explained she'd been saving pictures of her kids/grandkids to her computer for the past year when they emailed them to her. One of her grandkids ended up losing a battle to cancer, though, and she wanted to print out the pictures of him to give to her daughter.
I couldn't find them, so asked her to show me how she saves one and emailed her a picture off my phone. She got it, opened the email, clicked respond, clicked on the attachment thing and scanned absolutely nothing to a reply then emailed it out and deleted the original.
I had to explain to the poor woman she'd been erasing all of those pictures that got sent to her through email.
Edit: Some people seem confused.
She was literally replying to the emails and scanning an attachment from her scanner. Nothing was in said scanner. Somehow she thought this was saving the pictures. No, I do not know how in the world she got that idea into her head. When you deal with these people enough you honestly stop asking that question because you literally see it on a daily basis. Those stories about people who think saving stuff to the recycle bin is A-OK? Those are true.
We did check her sent folder, but unfortunately it only had a few months worth of sent items. Before anyone asks, no I don't know where they went.
Good news is most, not all but most, of the pictures were able to be recovered from various social media sites. Yes, the daughter in question had the pictures on her facebook and an old myspace account. No, I do not know why the women wanted to print them out to give her knowing this, but she did and I honestly thought it was kind of sweet of her.
BionicBlender ยท 750 points ยท Posted at 23:06:47 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My god. I can't image the feelings she must have had when you told her that.
cerem86 ยท 945 points ยท Posted at 23:16:39 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The look on her face was devestating.
Thankfully most of the pictures were her daughter's social media accounts in one way or another. Most.
EmeralSword ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 07:15:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't someone get into the sender's email and access the attachments in their "sent" folder? Or was this not a possibility?
Thisisquitedull ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:17:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read it as the sender is the mom she wanted to print the pictures for.
rohobian ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:32:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Should also be in the sent emails of the person sending the email. If there were any that she absolutely must have, the person can always re-send.
The_professor053 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:15:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is why we need tech classes for old people, not for convenience sake but for them. I would have been devastated.
dawgsjw ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:16:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That would of been the perfect time to slip her the bill.
[deleted] ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 05:59:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
have*
-MrB ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 07:27:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like this?
Cakepufft ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:47:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, it is:
Saeta44 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:19:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
THAT was a blessing. Poor woman.
GLOOTS_OF_PEACE ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:53:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
well all is not lost. Just get whoever sent the emails to resend them.
HiMyNamesServiceDesk ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:16:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You mean the dead guy?
GLOOTS_OF_PEACE ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:03:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So what if he's dead. It's not impossible to get into his email. besides, someone in another comment said that apparently most of the photos were up on facebook anyway
FurryFredChunks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work the photolab at Walmart. The number of times people wanted pictures off a USB stick or camera card and I'm like "there's nothing in here" is ridiculous. People would go on trips and take pictures and they weren't being saved or some shit is just insane.
gelfius ยท 131 points ยท Posted at 23:59:29 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The "my time to shine" made me think this was going to be a funny story :(
cerem86 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:27:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah....that was really mean of me to put there....
DarksteelPenguin ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 09:47:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get how people come up with that kind of procedure.
"My car doesn't start."
"Ok, show me how you do it."
Puts the key in, but doesn't turn it; turns the wheel to the right; takes the key out; opens the trunk, throws the key in, closes the trunk; goes back to front seat.
"...And the car doesn't start."
"This is a joke, right ?"
ProgrammingProgram ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 11:24:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "Car Support, how can I help you?"
Them: "I'm not able to start my car!" Me: "Okay what is happening when you start the car?"
Them: "SIR, I am NOT a car person so I don't know."
Me: "Do you know which model you're using?"
Them: "I don't know what that is!"
Me: "Okay, when you want to put the key in, do you twist it then hit the pedals? Or ..."
Them: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A CAR PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"
Klausar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:19:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
M E T A
E
T
A
ProgrammingProgram ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:20:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
M E A T
E
A
T
cerem86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, I'm havin flashbacks now.
ProgrammingProgram ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:30:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[The screen fades out from black, a white border surrounding the camera.]
[cerem86 adjusts tie, watching the birth of a new meme.]
[The flashback ends, cerem86 sitting at a desk, crying.]
cerem86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You forget me getting the thousand yard stare while in the background you can faintly here someone saying "Well it says right there it's free, so why wouldn't I install it? This is all your fault, you worked on it last year!"
ProgrammingProgram ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:51:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who says I forgot?
cerem86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Touche.
Keeping the kiddies from experience the existential horror.
Lobanium ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 01:58:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure what this means. She was trying to scan something?
cerem86 ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 02:03:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She told it to scan a new attachment in the program, and her scanner scanned the nothing on the scanbed.
Lobanium ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:12:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhhhhhh, I see.
Armond436 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:01:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of those cases where the truth is so out there that we think you're somehow wrong at first blush.
cerem86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:21:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I was. Thankfully we were able to get a lot off of various social media accounts, like her daughter's FB and a really old Myspace.....I didn't even know Myspace still existed when this happened lol.
[deleted] ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 03:02:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
nmdarkie ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 23:07:25 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:(
ace2049ns ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:43:58 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If the people sending her the pictures never deleted their sent emails, you might have been able to find them that way.
trowzerss ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:30:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've had to do something similar. A partner in our law firm had taken a bunch of photos of a family member while on holidays and later on they had died. It was only then he realised that he wanted to take the photos off his phone. Unfortunately it had been factory reset and wiped in every way imaginable between then and now, and because these were work phones with crappy cameras nobody backed up any photos. He just about cried when I told him I coudn't retrieve the photos of his last time hanging out with this guy :(
Still not as depressing as the time I had to sort through the email of a colleague who had recently been killed in a terrorist bombing trying to find documents about his legal proceedings with his ex about his daughter so we could forward them to his executor :/
aggrocragal ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:46:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"My time to shine!" Proceeds to post the most genuinely depressing thing I've read in months.
cerem86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:30:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
....I should remove that I think.
phforNZ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:17:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My condolences. Do you need a resupply for your alcohol stash?
OneRedSent ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:28:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's wayyyyyy past alcohol.
cerem86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:29:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, I no longer drink. Had an incident involving heavy liquor that led to me missing a week of work and swore it off.
I also don't touch coffee due to my brother making meth with a filter and putting it in the machine and not telling me.
.....and I think smoking is about the worst thing you can do to yourself.
......I have no stress relief :(
AVestedInterest ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:13:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Masturbate! Or play video games! Or work out! Or eat chocolate!
Henkersjunge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:21:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sport. Or chopping down trees with little customer faces stuck to them. Both exhausting and somewhat stress reliefing.
MKSLAYER97 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:57:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit, I came here to laugh, not to feel sad.
WienersBetweenUs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:33:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's terrible, but how the hell do they come up with these processes? If she'd done nothing, she'd have been better off.
cerem86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Users is all I can say to that.
I honestly stopped asking years ago why people think doing something the way they do on a PC is a good idea.
Googoo123450 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:30:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man that's the saddest story I've heard in a while. Ouch.
25keymoog ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:21:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Worst shine ever
Kirook ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:41:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't come to this thread for feels dammit :(
Sipstaff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:07:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That just made me so sad for her :(
LoraRolla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:22:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can mentally feel the pain of having this conversation.
Henkersjunge ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:18:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had something similar. All families photos were saved on the family PC. No backups of course. This family got themselves a crypto-trojan demanding 500โฌ. Those fuckers often only encrypt the first bytes of files because it speeds up the encrtyption by hours while being destructive enough to render the file useless. At first i tried to restore the files by comparing them against the same file from a healthy computer, but the version already fixed that flaw. Than i ran a program over the files searching for image headers, because many images have smaller versions of themselves inside the file. I could actually restore most of the images just at something like 240p. Wasnt good enough for the customer. I guess the pictures werent that important after all.
cerem86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The people who came up with that thing need to be put against a wall and shot, in my opinion.
And I don't even think the members of the WBC are that deserving of a bullet.
hgfdsgvh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:45:33 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She's sweet, you're sweet, you're all sweet!!! <3 and I can totally explain why she wanted to print them out besides being "old-fashioned." Not only did her daughter lose a daughter but she lost a granddaughter. Physical pictures mean sooo much more than "hold on, let me get my flip phone out." She could have been making an album for herself, her daughter, or both... looking through a physical album to reminisce isn't even close to viewing the pictures electronically regardless of age...
crazed3raser ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:45:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't come to this thread for feels
cto917 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:40:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not lost ya know.
Get on the email account it was sent from, sent folder. Sort: sent to. There ya go!
I mean it would involve resending every single email that was sent to her over the past year but...
mossadi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:36 on August 25, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Hi,
Here's why your comment is confusing. "...clicked on the attachment thing and scanned absolutely nothing to a reply..." - 'Scanned absolutely nothing to a reply' is a really poorly structured sentence and introduces a scanner into the story in a confusing way because the word 'scanned' doesn't only apply to scanning images. For those who were lucky and immediately assumed you were talking about the peripheral, the excerpt "absolutely nothing to a reply" is almost nothing but gibberish. Many people don't use a scanner or webcam to capture on the spot photos/videos for sending which makes the sentence even more nonsensical. Being one of those people, I have to ask whether such a thing is even possible (I don't mean possible in the literal sense, but are there any email programs that have a feature which allows on the spot insertion of newly scanned photos?). I'm sitting here thinking maybe she's opening her email, hitting respond, pressing the scan button on her scanner, then attaching the resulting image to the email.
Anyways having given all of that criticism here is how I think you should have worded it... "I couldn't find them, so I asked her to show me how she saves one and used my phone to email her a picture. She got it, opened the email, and clicked respond. Then, although her scanner was empty, she hit the scan button and attached the blank image that was produced to the email and presssed. Then she deleted the original email."
I believe that version is effective at conveying the message and it's concise, although I didn't count the amount of words in the before and after messages because the amount of energy I've already put into this comment is a little weird even to me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:35 on January 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am wondering why, in that whole time, did nobody ask why she kept replying to their emails with blank messages.
puddlejumper ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:49:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also depending on the email client, she may still have it in her deleted items.
charlesthechuck ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:25:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit,Thats hilarious
spacemanspiff30 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:34:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What about having the person who sent them gp through their sent folder and resend them?
95DarkFire ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:35:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This it a bit confusing to me. Care to explain what she did and why she thought that was right?
blindmayhem ยท 388 points ยท Posted at 23:27:26 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"Oh my god all the data is gone! It's all gone! This spreadsheet is empty!"
"...scroll up"
edit: formatting
idreamofdinos ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:22:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have that panic occasionally when I bump something and my spreadsheet decides to move to JJJ/1095.
mildlyAttractiveGirl ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:37:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ctrl+ Home
agoia ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:16:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had one of these yesterday. I think they spilled something in their keyboard and it went crazy, because her excel sheet had scrolled to the right so far that it was in triple digit letters. Freaking out because she lost all of her data and all I did was grab the scroll bar at the bottom and pull it back over to the left.
hypervelocityvomit ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:29:33 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Marginally relevant: http://i.imgur.com/4fIPGG2.gifv
mildlyAttractiveGirl ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:36:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I recently had to show a co-worker that you can move between excel cells using the arrow keys.
I am baffled on a daily basis that no one uses keyboard shortcuts. I use the keyboard for everything except for scrolling (sometimes page up/page down is better) and right-click context menus, and even then I only use the mouse to open the menu.
No one uses the Ctrl key! Or Alt! No one uses Home and End! WHY?
blindmayhem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I pulled a control+shift+L the other day and blew everyone's minds
christian-mann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:40 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that an Office shortcut? I don't recognize it.
Edit: In the spirit of this thread, I Googled it. I don't use filters (or Excel) often enough to need that, but neat trick.
CherryWolf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:08:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, when you've been working on spreadsheets for several hours a day, you do go a little crazy and if things shift it's very likely to cause a panic attack.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, it's really hard to scroll straight on Excel.
CherryWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, when you've been working on spreadsheets for several hours a day, you do go a little crazy and if things shift it's very likely to cause a panic attack.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've done that to myself before
nmoleo64reader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:16 on January 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a certificate of proficiency in computering and I still get scared by that
[deleted] ยท 388 points ยท Posted at 23:16:42 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Every oilfield company man I ever encounter wants to keep my fucking thumb drive when I bring them data.
Its just a few files dude. Copy and paste that shit onto your computer and give me my thumb drive back.
I dont spend ten dollars each on those things just to hand them out to every one of you jerk offs.
SyKrysus ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 09:35:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck man, this brings back nightmares. I used to setup satellite communications out on locations for company men and toolpushers. All I was responsible for was setting up internet lines and telephones. But by god if I didn't setup and fix everything on their personal computers then "WHAT THE FUCK DO WE PAY YOU FOR?!?!"
thatguy_randomnumber ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:20:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you ever try to explain exactly what they are paying for, what happened?
PhaliceInWonderland ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:25:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
By god....
TEG24601 ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 05:27:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
$10?
Hell, 16GB is only $4 at Office Depot/Max, USB 3.0.
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 07:38:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but super cheap flash is pretty unreliable, especially when it's been used for a while.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 07:52:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once bought a usb flash drive from the dollar store, which was actually $3.00, and it was such a huge piece of shit. It took ages to transfer even small files, and then after a couple uses it just stopped working.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:02:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got a usb flash drive on ebay for like a buck once. All it did was get super hot, and then the usb port wouldn't work at all anymore after I unplugged it.
mike54076 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:03:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounded like it shorted the high voltage pin.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:05:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All I know is that it was hot enough to burn my finger when I tried to pull it out.
What the fuck China, get your shit together.
tiorzol ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 15:29:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You get what you pay for.
slimyprincelimey ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 15:46:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He paid for an incendiary device.
DontcarexX ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:25:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a reference? I feel like this is a reference
agoia ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:12:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Taking down your capitalist scum computers 1 usb port at a time!
WaltonGogginsTeeth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're probably on a watchlist somewhere now.
TEG24601 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are PNY and Lexar considered 'cheap'?
Ninja_Fox_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:54 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
So? Throw it out when it dies. No sane person would keep their only copy of a file on a usb
GodOfPlutonium ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:30:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
what if its a 32 gb drive
wurm2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:43:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
8 http://www.officedepot.com/a/products/844282/PNY-Turbo-30-USB-30-Flash/
GodOfPlutonium ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:10:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
what if its a 64 gb drive
wurm2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:39:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
15 http://www.officedepot.com/a/products/844399/PNY-Turbo-30-USB-30-Flash/
and to save some time 128GB is as cheap as 20 http://www.officedepot.com/a/products/702489/Lexar-JumpDrive-S55-USB-30-Flash/
and 256GB costs 50 http://www.officedepot.com/a/products/562586/Lexar-JumpDrive-S75-USB-30-Flash/
GodOfPlutonium ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:48:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
but all three of those are more than 10 dollaroos
wurm2 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:52:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then you probably shouldn't give them away to oilfield company man
The_Old_Regime ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:21:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The intern for our IT department tried to keep my thumb drive when I brought her a file.. I was dumbstruck
21stMonkey ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:24:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, so here is what you do. Make friends with someone that works in a computer lab at a community college, or such. They find bags of abandoned thumb drives that they can't give away.
My buddy that works a lab keeps all the "big" drives, and gives me a bag per month of sub-16gb drives, mostly 1-4 gb. I use them as throwaways, and don't care if they come back.
toastshop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that's how you spread viruses and get hacked and succumb to cybercriminals
chicken_catch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:39 on October 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Start bringing extras and selling them for $100 each.
pjabrony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Buy them in bulk for $2 each, then tell them that they can keep them for a nominal fee of $8.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:39:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats a great idea but I would probably get fired lol.
My company used to give them to us in bulk for the purpose of handing them out. They stopped because of cost cuts. Now I always ask for it back after they get what they need off of it. Most customers still expect to keep them though.
onlytech_nofashion ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
??
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah see, some drill sites have public wifi. If that is the case, it is no problem to just email my files to the company man. Most sites do not allow contractors to use their wifi. Thats why I have to put my survey data on a thumb drive and walk it over to the company man's trailer.
onlytech_nofashion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:09:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No public drive?
PearlClaw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:32:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If he's working oilfields he's probably out on large open spaces a lot. Might not make sense to have every collection of trailers have access to the same network drive.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not usually. That would be too convenient.
Darkblitz9 ยท 2145 points ยท Posted at 20:07:42 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"Open up internet explorer."
"Okay"
*Proceeds to wander the mouse around the screen for a while*
"It's the Blue E, right there."
*Takes another few seconds, finds it, and proceeds to click it repeatedly for a solid 4+ seconds, a window opens up with 10+ tabs*
"See? It runs so slow!"
Edit: For clarity, we have to run IE at our company because some database stuff our intranet uses works only with IE.
[deleted] ยท 1025 points ยท Posted at 22:10:26 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 382 points ยท Posted at 00:44:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
agk23 ยท 266 points ยท Posted at 02:22:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Believe it or not it's actually the same program, which is one of the reasons IE was such a shitty browser for so long. Your dad probably saw explorer, saw the url bar and just got lucky
orthag ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 02:30:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It used to be the same program. I'm pretty sure Internet Explorer forked from Windows Explorer a while ago.
AngryFerds ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 04:24:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just tried typing the Facebook URL into Windows Explorer (Win10) and it did nothing for a while, but after 10-15 seconds a new Facebook tab opened on Google Chrome. I guess they left it in there as a foolproof?
daemin ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 11:48:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
MS and Apple have always taken fundamentally different attitudes towards backwards compatibility. Where as Apple has deliberately drawn lines in the sand where they break backwards compatibility for the sake of making the OS better, MS has bent over backwards to ensure that applications from older versions of windows still work. They've gone so far as to implement code that only gets invoked for certain enterprise applications, which depended on bugs in older version of windows and would not work in versions where the bug was fixed. This (sometimes) gets extended to trying to preserve workflow for the users.
The blog The Old New Thing occasionally talks about this.
JesusKristo ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 15:14:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hopping on to say that this shit is Windows 10's namesake. Windows 9 would have been recognized by a lot of legacy code as windows 9x, so they had to skip 9 to avoid it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:23:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
You look at the stars
Deiss ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:04:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I don't know if it's an official reason, but it's certainly come up a lot in speculation.
Basically, there are two ways to get the windows version number. The official route will give you the same version number as ver.exe (to test this, winkey+r, cmd (return), ver (return). On a current windows 10 system you'll get Version 10.0.10586).
But, a lot of developers get lazy and check the OS Name instead of the version number. I say 'Get', instead of 'Got', because there's an eff-tonne of code out there that still does it. Presumably, most of that code would require admin privileges to run without breaking on 10 (trying to save data to its install directory), and it undermines the whole security policy if people get in the habit of just blindly telling UAC to let programs run as admin.
Edit to add : The version numbers for the windows 95/98/ME family are 4.x.xxxx. Windows 8 variants are 6.2.xxxx, 8.1 is 6.3.xxxx, and then it jumps to 10.0.xxxx for 10 and Server 2016. No idea why the jump's there, but there you go.
nayhem_jr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:14:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For a while (likely during public preview), Windows 10 identified as v6.4. Actually lost a chunk of karma due to this factoid.
Deiss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:00:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aye. Reddit is a fickle beast.
JesusKristo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I had my source, but I read it years ago. So I'd have to, y'know, google it.
le3rddegreetroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can you explain this further? Why wasn't this a problem with other single digit renditions of Windows? Is it due to the 1900 leap year bug?
themoonisacheese ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:09:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some windows versions that came out pre-2000 had a year name in them, such as win 95, win 98, etc...
These versions were really close to each other, so in most cases the application just had to test if the version name was "win 9-whatever".
For version of windows up to 8, this wasnt a problem because no windows version except them starts with "win 7", "win 8"...
However, in the case of what would have been windows 9, these application would have thought they were functionning on a win 95/98 operating system.
Microsoft then chose to keep their fingers inside their assholes and just rename ne new version into windows 10
JesusKristo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well there wasn't a windows 85 or 75.
XAM2175 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 12:27:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Along these lines, Excel deliberately and incorrectly treats the year 1900 as being a leap year in order to give full compatibility with Lotus 1-2-3's date-calculation system.
This same effort for compatibility means that the date epoch for both programs is 0 Jan 1900, so that 1 Jan will appear as day 1.
JamoJustReddit ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:33:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just did the same thing. Huh.
da5id2701 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:43:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A related behavior that's actually very useful is that you can put a URL into the file chooser dialog and it will download the file and choose it. So if a program wants you to select an image from your computer for whatever, you can grab one directly from the internet instead.
A_Matter_of_Time ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:50:26 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hooly shit, this is a godlike tip. Thanks
hypervelocityvomit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:13:49 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That goes down right to the CreateFile() API, the subroutine that opens (or creates, but contrary to the name, it handles both cases) the actual file.
Whether it's a local file or one on the internet, it'll work about equally - there can be different error conditions, the internet is usually a lot slower, etc. but the programmer doesn't need to handle the cases separately.
If you go down to the API level, you'll find out that there's a department that actually knows their shit. Too bad that Marketing goes "Fuck that, we'll just make another GUI" all the time. (The last major improvement was 64-bit addressing.)
da5id2701 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:47:55 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh cool, didn't realize it's happening all the way at that level. Figured it was just part of Windows explorer. Treating local files and URLs exactly the same is a neat idea.
Yeah, by all accounts it seems like windows is a really awesome, well designed os with lots of really bad decisions piled on top.
hypervelocityvomit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:10 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The address space management is just as neat.
Programs can handle their own page faults. That means that at least in theory, a program which runs out of RAM can save part of its data to disk, or even compress the data before doing so.
In practice, the most common use of that feature is an error handling subroutine, or one that dumps part of the data to disk for debugging purposes, but you could, for example, trigger garbage collection and retry.
And that feature has been there since Windows 98 (probably 95).
jmerridew124 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:40:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, it is good code.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:26:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Opening a URL in the default browser in C# is slow as all hell (in Chrome at least), so I assume that's why.
joker38 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:35:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it
explorer.exeandiexplore.exe?mttdesignz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:45:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
exactly.
aezart ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:04:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure that they were forced to separate the programs years ago due to some European antitrust lawsuits.
gnorty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:14:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't it due to competition laws? ie people should not be forced to install internet explorer with windows?
Frost_Ravenstorm ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:40:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's what an antitrust law is.
gnorty ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:24:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My point was mostly that it wasn't an EU thing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:27:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't you make the same argument for literally any program that Windows depends upon, then?
PM_ME_CHUBBY_GALS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:17:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, because the actual antitrust suit was about bundling IE with Windows.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:20:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But if IE was part of explorer, it would have to be bundled with Windows, unless I'm misunderstanding something
PM_ME_CHUBBY_GALS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:23:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, you hit the nail on the head for the antitrust suit. I believe what they actually did to solve the antitrust issue was spin IE off into another company.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, I understand now, thanks for being patient =P
mattfast1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They actually created a separate version of Windows without IE bundled. They've also had to do that in the past in response to an antitrust suit against Windows Media Player.
I believe European versions of Windows now ask which major browser you'd like to use when you first connect them to the internet, and downloads the chosen browser from the appropriate source.
crusty_the_clown ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:00:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, this is what I used to bypass the login for the internet filter in my library. 12 year old me really wanted to play some runescape, but only 14 year olds were allowed to go on the internet.
hicow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:03:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
indeed. IE is iexplore.exe, Windows Explorer is explore.exe.
Huwbacca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've done it before when lazy to go between the two. Or just to confuse people who think I don't know my arse from my... Arm bending thing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
IE is integrated in the windows explorer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my GOSH Microsoft why
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:43:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember my dad somehow wandering into the CMOS screen. He didn't know how he got there or how to get out. He really didn't like the panicked look on my face when I saw him clicking on shit in that blue screen. My 16 year old hand snatched the mouse out of his, and I told him, "No." Click click, and it's back to the start menu. "How did you do that?" "Dad, you're not allowed to start the computer anymore."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:20:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do that because it was convenient at the time (elementary school, 1997). I kind of miss it sometimes, it's such a burden to move my hand a bit and switch to my open browser window.
An00bis_Maximus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:42:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Type http://reddit.com into the address bar of Windows Explorer
give it a try
Backwards_Lana ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:53:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this when i was little while using the church computer. For some reason the internet only worked when i accessed it through the file explorer. I always thought i was being really smart and bypassing some kind of filter but probably wasn't the case
Screwattack94 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:54:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That kind of filter was the case on my school. Internet Explorer was restricted, but the File Explorer just worked perfectly.
I miss the old school safety programms, it was so easy to get around most of the safety stuff.
KingGumboot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:05:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We used to do this at my primary school to get around the blocked internet. You couldn't open IE, but if you went to file explorer and typed a URL that would work for some reason. Discovered it completely by accident and forgot it was a thing until just now
LtWorf_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The reason being that internet explorer and file explorer used to be the same software.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's amazing. I just tried; it opened an additional tab in the chrome window I'm currently using.
F117Landers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They are part of the same function of windows for a long while (XP through 7 IIRC), which is why IE can't be uninstalled. Also why Microsoft faced fines and suits in Europe.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it works the other way too.. if you open up IE and type file:/// it will show you your files.
Firemanz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Weird... I didn't even know that was a thing.
stirwise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought that was microsoft's selling point for the file explorer, that you could transition between local and web browsing with the same interface.
Kamaria ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:01:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shit I have trouble explaining things even in person. There's so many things I take for granted just knowing that some people don't even have a basic grasp of and they don't seem willing to learn either.
MissSara13 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:10:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was so infuriated when Windows 10 magically appeared on my laptop and desktop. Considering going back to 7 if I could ensure that I wouldn't get another involuntary update.
DiscordianAgent ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:24:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I rolled back, seems to be leaving me alone now. Pestered me for months, I finally did it, turns out my laptop graphics card is not supported. Thanks MS, "Windows 10 ready!" my ass.
Iminicus ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 01:24:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If the laptop you purchased had a Windows 10 Ready sticker, that isn't MS' fault but the manufacturer. Also, it is up to the hardware manufacturer's to release compatible drivers, not MS. Stop blaming Microsoft for shit that isn't in their control.
hypervelocityvomit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:16:08 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe MS should, IDK, check if there are drivers for the components before updating, then???
Iminicus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:26:43 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe manufacturer's should roll out drivers since they are given fair warning of an update to the Windows system and allowed time to develop and test?
You still blame MS for something, that once again isn't in their control.
hypervelocityvomit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:15:00 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Does. Not. Compute.
Maybe MS shouldn't remove support for old drivers, since the glorious "new Windows system" is 90% oldsauce, 5% new GUI, and 5% badly implemented new "features" nobody wants anyway...
Iminicus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:19:19 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I nevere said MS removes support for older drivers. So don't put words in my mouth. Also, older drivers have to be signed to be compatible by...wait for it...THE MANUFACTURER, not Microsoft.
hypervelocityvomit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:12 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well if Win7 worked flawlessly and Win10 suddenly doesn't, they obviously did.
Iminicus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:35:05 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you miss the part where I wrote the Manufacturer's need to get their drivers signed to work with Windows 10? Cause I think you missed that part. The fault of driver incompatibility lies with the Manufacturers of the hardware, not MS.
hypervelocityvomit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:49:09 on August 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you miss the part where the OS that needs new drivers came from? Cause I think you missed that part.
Hint: it's Microsoft.
7LeagueBoots ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:03:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I have the opposite problem. I bought a new laptop recently and got a Windows 7 install disk with it. After a lot of searching online and at the manufacturer's site it turns out that some of the components don't have Win 7 compatible drivers.
MissSara13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was shocked that my ancient Dell e521 supported 10 but it did. I think it came with 32 bit Vista in 2007.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:17:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Control panel only gas three layouts, xp, the new one, and classic.
Gabe_Noodle_At_Volvo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:06:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I use powershell or cmd whenever possible.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:13:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Never had a need for powershell, cmd often, but never had a need.
DerpingtonHerpsworth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:34:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I miss file manager (I think that's what it was called) in earlier versions of Windows. For someone who was relatively experienced with computers back in the 3.1/95 days, the file structure of a hard drive on Windows 7/8/10 doesn't even make sense to me anymore.
-manabreak ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:10:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The structure hasn't changed at all. All those "Documents", "Photos" etc. folders are, well, just that. They're folders under your user folder.
DerpingtonHerpsworth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:07:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the user folder is part of what confuses me to begin with. I don't remember those existing back in the day. I know it's not a separate drive or anything but it acts like it is. Are those folders somewhere on the (usually) C drive?
Deiss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:48:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the home folders are c:\users\<accountname>.
There's also a hidden directory that's good to know about, which is c:\users\<accountname>\appdata
The idea is that these folders are locked - unless you're logged in with root/admin privileges, you can't access somebody else's home folder. That means that on a PC with multiple users, every can still have their privacy - you can't go rooting through someone's private documents or internet history without their permission.
You can redirect these folders too. As an example, my documents, downloads, music, and video folders are all on my e: drive (c: is a small SSD, putting my music library there would eat space it doesn't have).
It's basically a way of hiding the physical locations of the folders from programs - instead of programs trying to save in their install directory (bad) or forcing users to trawl through the file system and remember where the documents folder is, it's presented as a top level folder (as you said, like a drive). Less chance of confusing people that don't understand computers, and it makes it easier for admins to move things around behind the scenes, as the user doesn't need to know that their documents folder has been moved to a network drive to access it. The only thing we're really missing is the ability to move %programfiles% off the c: drive.
hypervelocityvomit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:18:19 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And that's the biggest thing of them all.
musicalrapture ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:30:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No kidding. We have a smaller office so whenever possible I just get up and go to the user to see what's going on. So much easier than trying to reason with how they've got Windows set up remotely.
gnorty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:12:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
internet explorer works just fine as a file explorer. Also, last time I looked (years ago tbh) file explorer worked just fine to surf the net.
ANUSTART942 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:18:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Control panel is simultaneously one of the most fundamental and yet inconsistent features on a PC.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:10:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I did more Windows support I tried to have them use as many hotkeys as possible. It's like tricking them into doing the right thing. "Do you see the key with the little windows logo on it? No, how about one with a wavy flag on it? No not that one. The one next to the Alt key... No, not the long blank one or the X, the one to the left with the little wavy flag. Yeah, hold that down and hit E"
ActuallyTheJoey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you see 8 categories or about 40 icons?
bigderivative ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never really though about how hard it must be to troubleshoot the different control panel views. I guess there's only 2 right?
juicenx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just say "Windows key and E at the same time"
Sualsidal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
best way to troubleshoot windows is to use keyboard shortcuts. open explorer? Windows button + E etc.
theqmann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just tell them to hold the windows key and push E. I've found it takes the confusion out of looking for my computer icon or similar, especially if they have the desktop from hell with a bazillion icons.
yokohama11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Learn the right things to type into the search box rather than going through the control panel. Ex: Need to to get to Services? Don't fuck around with multiple step directions. "Press the Windows key, type services.msc and hit enter".
Nulono ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:10 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it "This Computer" on some versions?
Agent_staple ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:09:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is normally an easier way to get through this shit. winkey+r (type name of program/service/tool) press enter.
Don't bitch at windows cause you don't understand it.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:31:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just tell him to press Ctrl + E.
scratchisthebest ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 03:27:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad set over 20 pinned tabs on Google Chrome that open up every time he opened a new browser window. He'd then use one or two and then close the browser.
Then he calls me up and asks why it's so slow all the time. (I don't know, maybe it's because you have 20 pinned tabs that you never use? (or maybe the 6 "clean my PC" programs all running at once, but that's a different story))
And when I told him about the bookmarks bar he refused to use it.
I don't get it. "I have a problem." "Here is how you solve the problem." "I don't want to solve the problem."
Love you Dad >.>
PM_ME_FRENCH_INHALE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:06:04 on August 25, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FooTab: https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/footab/anbodogikfbehidmmjdokehphginagbb
Install this in your dad's browser.
There is NOTHING wrong with having multiple tabs open over browser session. That's what tabs are for! In the browser I'm currently typing this from, I have 48 tabs open. In another browser, I have 11, and in another browser (all different vendors) I have 8.
ShowMeYourTiddles ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 22:38:54 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nuff said.
Darkblitz9 ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 23:33:21 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, unfortunately we have to use it at work because our reporting system only works on IE.
No clue on who thought that was a good idea.
ShowMeYourTiddles ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:26:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, our place is IE heavy too. Support for the other major browsers is iffy. But FF isn't locked down by any group policies, so I use that. Only one I can install my add-ons.
miss__behaviour_2u ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:16:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We recently discovered our external-facing website will not run on the version of ie our computers are locked on. It tells us the browser is outdated and we should upgrade it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:45:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Darkblitz9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:13:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. This is my life.
emilizabify ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:09:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel you. My office will only use IE. The funny thing is, our Head Office uses Google Chrome now, and has switched everything over to that, yet our office refuses to do so for some odd reason..
iamthejef ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:38:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's because your reporting system was built when the only other option was /shudders/ Netscape Navigator
gnorty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
cross browser functionality has been A Good Thing for a LONG time now.
Darkblitz9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:16:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most likely. I found the found system was older than I was (set up in 87) when I started working there.
Not that you'd need to change it all that often, but c'mon at least change the phones every decade or so. Many of the phones were 30+ years old.
RainyOcean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is one of the reasons I quit my last job. Conversations like this almost monthly:
"You have to complete this online training."
"But internet explorer keeps freezing on me and this website won't work on any other browser."
"Oh.....you have to complete this online training."
Flaccid_Leper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, likely because its ubiquitous. It makes perfect sense.
Every PC will have Internet Explorer. The same cannot be said about any other Web Browser. For a lot of these specialized applications provided by a vendor, why would you put the effort into making sure it runs on more than one browser?
And then with upgrades and release SU's and such, have to have released for them as well, not to mention testing. It doesn't make sense.
What gets really annoying is when it works on a specific version and they don't update it for newer versions of I.E. And then your stuck having I.E 4.2 installed on youR PC and you can't upgrade it because then the application (or certain aspects of it) won't work.
Aethien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:33:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's probably not a bad idea, most people will be familiar with IE and switching browsers seems to trigger the "it's too complicated and I don't know what to do!" reflex in way more people than you'd expect it to.
igdub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Corporate world has a ton of shit that's mainly supported on IE. Only edgy kids always respond to these threads when they see IE mentioned.
malenkylizards ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:10:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure I've ever found a website that's actually broken if you don't use IE on it. Some will complain but it's never actually caused a problem
Deiss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:57:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's a lot of internal pages in most big corps that use ActiveX, and that in turn mandates (old versions of) IE.
It's ancient, it's very obsolete, but often it would cost so much (or cause so much disruption) to update it that it never gets done.
TheKingsJester ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:16:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tbf if it's a work situation they may have to go to i.e. I have to for some stuff.
christian-mann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:35 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Look into IE Tab.
svtscottie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Internet Explorer is the number one browser for downloading other browsers.
MagicalWeirdo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:38:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also Crome. It's good most of the time, but when it glitches ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE. At least for me it does.
western_red ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:45:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He might suck at computers, but he sounds like he might be good at pleasing the ladies.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:13:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
repeated wild mashing of the button without consideration for speed or technique? does that do it for your girl?
western_red ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:31:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Watch what your saying I'm a lady.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:34:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then I feel even worse for you
Darkblitz9 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:24:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm really wired, how about I take you home and mash your button repeatedly. "
JackAceHole ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:37:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
10+ tabs? That shouldn't be a problem. Do you mean 10+ search toolbars?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:54:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly the operating system should be smart enough to ignore those repeated clicks. Sometimes it's a usability problem.
gcbeehler5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:36:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if related. SSRS now works in Chrome and other browsers. Was updated in July.
MalParra ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:52:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really?! Thanks, man! This has been a nightmare for me. Trying to explain to people to use IE for SSRS.
gcbeehler5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:17:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep -
Here is the link:
https://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/ms156511(v=sql.120).aspx
Go down to Browser Requirements for Viewing Reports, and for 2012 R2 (and also 2008 r2) and they rolled out support for Firefox and Chrome. The change also has introduced some glitches that affect IE only, so it's nice now to have more than one option!
MalParra ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:21:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks! :)
billiarddaddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel your pain.
phforNZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
davidjoshualightman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I really wish SSIS worked with something other than IE. It's crazy how many issues I deal with because of people opening SSIS reports in Chrome.
Rich_Cheese ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We have a few legacy products like that. People are really confused when they learn that.
Mix_Master_Floppy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:16:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What are you using that runs on IE? We get stuck with Siebel systems and the Oracle program
Whaleman1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same with the company I work for. Every day about half of my cases are internet settings and changing the default browser from edge to IE When they upgrade to 10. I have to know the system front to back and can diagnose most issues before they finish their first sentence but my time is spent adjusting the internet settings...
patrik667 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also, 100% of the time:
"My computer is so slow! I can't do anything!!" = i7 with 8GB RAM... with slow internet.
Which usually means "neighbors' open wifi with 254 users connected on a 2mb DSL"
santac311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damned be the developers that are still maintaining IE-only apps. Good luck upgrading to IE11.
xelle24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, my former boss did that. Her computer was always full of malware and half a dozen taskbars, and she couldn't wait all of 2 seconds for anything to open. She'd buy a new computer at least once a year because "the old one was too slow". Things did get marginally better when I got her to use Firefox instead of IE. She'd only have 5 windows open instead of 10.
letuswatchtvinpeace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once had a guy that kept clicking on everything, I tried to be nice but after a few minutes of getting nowhere I asked what he was clicking and denied he was. told him I could here it thru the phone and that if he wanted to get off the phone fast with a working internet to do exactly what I told him and no more. Scolded him like a little kid got props from co-workers and boss!
andrewsmd87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The fukcing bane of all IT support's existence.
Well have you tried anything newer than IE 7? It's like 10 years old you know?
Well Bob wrote some application in Microsoft access that will only authenticate if we use IE and it runs all of our accounting so we have to stay with it.
Well why don't you have Bob update it.
Hahaha, Bob left years ago, we just leave his pc running windows 95 on in the corner because it's what holds the database.
Do you back it up at all?
What's a backup?
Do you have a copy of the data, in case that machine fails?
No, why would we, it's been running for 15 years with no problems!
ABigRedBall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:57 on October 25, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
sigh
Yep. I used to manage a government service that was used nationally. It was 15 years old and coded entirely in VBscript. I wish I was making that up. The number of calls from new users claiming it wouldn't load in Chrome or Firefox was stupid, cause it didn't. You'd think that would be included in every user's basic induction right? No, no sonny Jim, it was not.
OwnagePwnage123 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:03:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, to be fail internet explorer is really slow.
[deleted] ยท 343 points ยท Posted at 00:21:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Lady called tech support when I worked for Toshiba in 1998 to ask that we "remove all the bad parts of the Internet" from her "hard disk" and insisted "you know what I'm talking about"
0_o
Edit: when I tried to explain that the entirety of the Internet does not reside local on her machine she replied "I know what you're trying to do" and hung up.
Wat.
Edit: I think in her own way she was probably asking for us to block "porn channels" or some such in the way you'd call a cable company to maybe block Cinemax or Showtime because little Johnny got caught fappin idk.
I felt sorry for her and explained we had no control over it, that content viewed is decided by the viewer. Her response is listed above.
Bleh. Those days
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 08:51:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
AyyLMAOdazdank ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:07:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah.
HE created it.
StewartDC8 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 08:08:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Our plan to keep all the you-know-what on old ladies' computers continues!
DefinitelyNotATaco ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 04:41:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What, uh, what bad parts? You-you know, for research.
Dent13 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:34:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
leakspin.com
GoodShinyHunter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:21:47 on November 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
leekspin.com
OneRedSent ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:04:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Are you sure you want to delete the internet?"
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:51:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"remove all the bad parts of the Internet"
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. I'm sorry. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha man this made my day!
WikedN3K ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:51:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
เฒ อเฒ
WankerRotaryEngine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:44:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was no lady.
Ilikecows13 ยท 474 points ยท Posted at 22:14:32 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the 90s--My husband's grandma thought you were supposed to use the mouse like a stylus to tap the screen. Can't decide if she was way ahead of her time or way behind...
BodgeJob ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 09:12:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One better: i've seen old people move the mouse down the side of the desk because they ran out of room on the mousepad. Fucking. Hilarious.
Ilikecows13 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:17:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to do that! So, so funny!!
jpt212 ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 12:08:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really great memory of my grandad (RIP) trying to use a computer when we visited the Museum of TV and Radio (now the Paley Center). You could look up old shows in their computerized catalog. These were early Macs with single button mouses.
He had a terminal on his desk before he retired - so he wasn't computer illiterate - was used to the pre GUI Days. Never used a mouse.
Seeing him perplexed I said "Pop-pop, you have to use the mouse to point to what you want"
He looks at it for a sec. Picks it up, sees the mouse pointer move... (Cause and Effect, right)
"Oh, JPT212, I got it! Pretty 'cool'" So pleased with himself.
I look over and he's holding the mouse upside down and moving the little ball with his finger. It works kind of... He makes his selection by clicking the button on his under hand.
He held it with such care - as a person who understood how expensive computers were- like tickling a little baby mouse creature.
He was such a good sport about it when I showed him the "right" way. Years later I think about him whenever I see a trackball.
He became really great at computers later in life, volunteered - such a decent human bean.
TLDR: My Grandpa inadvertently invented the trackball.
IronElephant ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:17:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like this comment
hypervelocityvomit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:31:20 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's called 'coral' now..." scnr
jpt212 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:39:01 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
?
hypervelocityvomit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:29:36 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
! It's a Spongebob reference
Nasenrotz ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:47:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stylus-like devices were some of the first real time input devices for computers, so maybe she got it from her past? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Light_pen
thesuper88 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:10:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
say_fuck_no_to_rules ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Heh, maybe she worked on Xerox PARC
Aleblanco1987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
definitely ahead
Kapibada ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:20:09 on October 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the 90s--My dad learned how to use the Compaq Concerto. Look it up.
EthanRDoesMC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:42 on December 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ingeniously Ignorant
SalamandrAttackForce ยท 461 points ยท Posted at 21:58:52 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My mom didn't know what Google was until maybe 2 years ago. She'd been typing in specific .com addresses and only visiting those pages for years and we never realized. She didn't know about the concept of search engines
admin-throw ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 08:57:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in the day, a lot of people thought AOL was the whole web. They thought they could only do stuff the AOL software would provide icons and links for. Someone once told me they couldn't use yahoo.com because it wasn't part of AOL and they hadn't paid for that. Wide swaths of the public only clicking on AOL stuff and thinking the rest of the entire web was not theirs to mess with. AOL used to market it this way, they knew what they were doing.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:21:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
troywww ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:01:53 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, throwback. I'm still young but that seems like a huge blast from the past. Kids growing up now probably don't even know what a keyword is.
pessimistic_platypus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:39 on August 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know because they were in a video game. Does that count?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:37:21 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
AOL used to actually charge you extra to leave AOL content and visit the rest of the web.
DreaMagine ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 01:39:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So the domains like dinnerplates.com that are used to sell dinner plates really do work on some people!
realharshtruth ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 04:00:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What if she wants to spin some meat?
RocketCow ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 09:11:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
spinsomemeat.com
Kevvybabes ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:30:27 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What if she wants to explore an island of pens?
PainfulJoke ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:07:39 on December 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
pensisland.com
MisunderstandingMatt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:27:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How do you think I found tub girl?
Juus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:43:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Those domains are mostly used to rank for keywords in Google actually. Higher chance to rank on the search query "dinner plates" if your domain is dinnerplates.com
Firemanz ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:49:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently specific.com is a web site. Kinda boring though.
kalasoittaja ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:16:44 on August 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Would you say, specifically boring?
pjabrony ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:18:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You kids with your fancy googles and bingers or whatever. That's how we had to do it back in the day. We'd go to Yahoo and look through the directory, or else we'd go to Lycos and wade through forty pages of porn sites that had loaded themselves up with keywords.
MasonCrosby4Life ยท 1087 points ยท Posted at 19:28:34 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Work with medical software. Once asked a doctor to move his mouse to a certain point on the screen and the guy literally moved the mouse to that part of the screen. The doctor didn't even have a cellphone until 2012 when the hospital bought one for him.
He retired a couple weeks later because the new electronic health records. He felt frazzled by the influx of technology. Felt for the guy.
I_throw_socks_at_cat ยท 331 points ยท Posted at 00:04:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once supported a doctor who fundamentally didn't get computers, but rather than let that stop him, he would painstakingly write down every step of every process he needed to go through to get his work done. He impressed me with how much effort he was willing to go to.
macphile ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 05:05:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a coworker who normally used a PC in her job. She probably wasn't brilliant with it, but she did OK. For a brief period, though, she had to work on another project, and all the files were on a Mac. It was not pretty. What I liked, though, was she got super-explicit instructions from me on what to do (I think this was to print or something?). Like, click this thing, go to File menu, click on this other thing...and she used it every time. It didn't stick. Anyway, I really respected that she wanted to learn or at least not drag the process out with whining. I also tried to explain how the internet worked once (god help her).
She was a nice enough woman, but I sort of suspected she'd fried some brain cells back in the 1960s/1970s.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 07:03:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
jmerridew124 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:45:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When the brain chips from Feed exist we're all going to order shitloads of fleshlights by accident.
Aniquin ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:05:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's someone to look at as an example of a hard worker. A lot of times I'll give a friend or a family member the exact steps to help them with their technology and they'll either, immediately give up because learning is too hard, or they'll decide that it's just broken/defective. It's nice to see someone not give up so easily.
Awakend13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:21:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't even begin to figure out how many times I have written down and told my mom how to do certain tasks on computers, tvs, and cell phones and she still ends up screwing it up. She just presses random buttons until something good or bad happens. She's only in her 50s too so not that old.
yaminub ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:01:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You don't usually end up a doctor if you're lazy
maully ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:29:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why, but I love that so much
Carl_GordonJenkins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:57:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boss is the complete opposite. He painstakingly refuses to learn anything about computers, short of turning them on.
HeeroJay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:08:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I help a retired doctor out with PC stuff and he has the same process. It's amazing that he's still willing to try so hard. :)
๐๏ธ MrJoeSchmo ยท 322 points ยท Posted at 20:50:44 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was this Doctor the dad from Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs?
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 22:51:40 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Chengweiyingji ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 03:43:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It didn't do anything!
Luigimario280 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:15:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know what, aaaaaagh!
smashes phone against head
brilliantlyInsane ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:08:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad used to read that as a bedtime story to my sister and me. I was really excited when the movie came out.
Funny thing is, the story of the movie has little to do with the original book, and yet it still holds up as a decently funny and enjoyable movie. All in all, 8/10.
AndyGHK ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:09:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
dreyg it.
Cobbleking32486 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:33:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wut
SharkTRS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:53 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
cloud to butt plus m80
Cobbleking32486 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:12 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
of course butt=butt.
Phooey138 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:41:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was Herman Cain.
SoapSales ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
Skibxskatic ยท 385 points ยท Posted at 20:14:33 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work with an oncologist who is probably at least 75 and has been practicing medicine for years. a lot of the physicians have built out note templates and such. this guy refuses to do note templates, spends 20 more minutes per patient dictating versus using a template. the other younger physicians even demoed theirs for him and gave him free use of it if he wanted.
"I don't like templates. I need my notes to sound off beautifully when read back."
God bless his heart. I can't wait for the day everything's holo-medicine and us 20 somethings turn into 70 somethings and can't figure out which holochip we're supposed to plug in so we link up with the Canadian health systems versus the American ones. Our grandchildren are sniggering at our unorganized smarthome system from 2030 that's so antiquated that they complain about having to use Linux again, cause they only did a 3 week session in 3rd grade on Linux and moved on.
"pop pop, your cheat sheet of codes is outdated! your healthcare folder doesn't have anything in it any more! did you build a new one??"
"WHAT?? I can't hear you! don't make me walk all the way back to the kitchen!"
God, I hate old people but I'm incredibly excited for how earth will look in 2060.
happycatbasket ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 21:26:46 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get this. These people have had at least twenty years of every technological advancement shouting, "computers are the future!" and yet they still never put in the couple of days of effort to figure it all out.
Phooey138 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:43:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Plenty of people put in a few days of effort and just didn't understand it. How many times should they try, especially if they have a job they thought wouldn't ever require it?
happycatbasket ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:05:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
well considering that most things have become tied to computers over the years, I'd assume "as long as it takes" would be the right answer. especially if it's for a job. it's probably just the field that I work in, but getting a job and then not being expected to continually expand and strengthen your skill set seems blasphemous. Do lawyers ever get pissed off that laws change?
but the issue for a lot of these people isn't that they don't understand it. it's that they're gripped by technophobia and are too scared of unknown consequences to go about learning it. but it's also been decades since anyone in the right mind could justify not learning base level tech because "their job won't need it." sometimes you need to suffer and grumble to better yourself, especially if that "suffering" is only mental gymnastics.
GLOOTS_OF_PEACE ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:47:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
agreed. One of the key characteristics of humans that have gotten to us where we are today, is the ability to adapt and learn. if you don't adapt and learn then you're not doing it right lol
Varanite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:00:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well if their job does require it now they better keep trying until they get it, or start looking for a new job.
grease_monkey ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:32:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We just went over this, he retired.
Rawtashk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You and I grew up with computers and every changing and evolving technology. These people, like my dad, were in their 40s before computers were really widespread.
dawgsjw ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:10:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in my day as a kid, we used to walk 2 blocks outside in the snow, all up hill just to get to good wi-fi.
recycledcoder ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:16:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know, I can... almost admire that. Rendering personal, individual care. Pride of craftsmanship. Sure, it's not efficient, but his heart is in the right place - unless his thoracic surgeon buddy was having a giggle :)
introversed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:34:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for this one
bystander911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I doubt it's going to be some tech savvy utopia where we have developed high capacity usb flesh lights.
Henkersjunge ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:41:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bluetooth-fleshlights for telesex already exists. Search for Teledildonics, its compatible with iOS it seems.
bystander911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Future
Batman_Von_Suparman2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:29:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah fuck that I'm gonna be with the times and tech savvy my whole life. Never gonna get behind like that
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People from the 50s thought we'd have flying cars and nuclear fusion by now, so probably not that different.
shinobigamingyt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We have nuclear fusion.
hinckley ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:45:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well... yeah, but on the other hand no, no, we really don't.
SuperToastingham ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Life is grand.
Wonka_Vision ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of docs dictate, even younger ones. There's a service in a lot of hospitals and clinics that will transcribe it to a centralized chart.
manireallylovecars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:54:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Great post.
ParrotChild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An irradiated wasteland?
SenorBeef ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to think as the generation who grew up when technology was so dominant and we faced so much regular change, we'll largely avoid the "set in our ways" problems like that. We'll have learned the skill of adapting better than previous generations.
Then again there are lots of 70 year olds who are technologically illiterate, so I think it may just be an individual choice to stop learning and we'll always have that.
qwertyisdead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Savanah GA?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything will still run Linux in 2060, 2 to 1.
ImGonnaKickTomorrow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You hate old people? What kind of asshole hates old people?
dagothdoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:44 on December 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/oldpeoplehate
Tridian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:55 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Older people are perfectly capable of using computers. We don't hear about them because they don't ask retarded questions. I expect that in 2060 most of us will be using things just fine, but the same 20 year olds today who can't use a computer will be the 60 year olds who still can't use a computer in the future.
[deleted] ยท 260 points ยท Posted at 21:11:32 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen this happen quite a bit with older doctors. (most older nurses can't afford to retire or they would, too). I'm a nurse practitioner in my 30s and am fine with computers. I can whiz through a new EHS pretty quickly. However, I've worked with doctors who have to take 2 hours for one patient because they have never used a computer before, and they spend almost all that time trying to document the visit.
It's ridiculous, really. Or I'm just bitter because I worked in urgent care and saw like 6 patients to their 1 and they got paid triple what I did for basically poking around at a keyboard for 12 hour shifts.
AgentKnitter ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 04:03:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Take that technical ineptitude and apply to older men (usually, occasionally some women) appointed as magistrates.
Every sentence they pass in court has to be entered into Courtlink which is a terrible, awful, horrible DOS (?) system.
They sit there typing one finger at a time, asking their clerk how to do the thing to make it show whatever...
So painful.
Meanwhile my client is hanging out for their methadone dose and is impatient, and starts to freak out thinking that if the magistrate is taking forever to type up the sentence then they must be going to jail....
NeedsMoreBlood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:58:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My lab uses a dos system, it's painful
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 11:40:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How did you teach a dog to use a computer?
AgentKnitter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Court link is a complete POS and I have no idea why the Department of Justice (previously, or Court Services Victoria now) haven't got around to updating it. A mate of mine works at DOJ IT department and it was on their list of shit to do - but below some other, more urgent shit. Who knows what happened when CSV was created and all the administration of courts was removed from DOJ.
MotherFuckingCupcake ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:30:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend's dad is a doctor in his 60's. When the hospital group he works for started switching over to electronic records, he was definitely frazzled and confused. Luckily, though, he sees no shame in having his younger colleagues teach him how to use the software, and he's actually adapted very well.
krystann ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:49:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sweet merciful jesus you just described a pharmacist I work with. He's super nice. He can't type. He can understand short hand for prescriptions, but will still type it out in full. He barely understands our phone system
I want to pull my hair out every single day. I've begged him to take a typing class. He's in his late 60s, so I get it, but fuuuuuck.
NeedsMoreBlood ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:57:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You guys should try working with hospital lab equipment, they're so temperamental we have one analyser which I swear you just look at it wrong and it goes NOPE and crashes, takes like 30min to reboot lol
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yuck, I can't imagine. I hated even doing QC checks on simple point of care tests that we used in urgent care.
tesseract4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, you were right the first time, it is ridiculous.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:31:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Should have went to medical school!
hommesweethomme ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:31:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Should have went???
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:00:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:10:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you think they get paid that much? I never said it was easy!
DarkResurgence ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. Ice cold.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:34:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nurses like complaining about pay, but it's a different job!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:58:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a nurse practitioner, not a registered nurse. I examine, diagnose, and treat patients as an actual provider. I actually DID do the same exact job as the docs I worked with in urgent care, when the main doc I was supposed to work with actually showed up to work. I don't "like" complaining about pay...But I should be making more than a tiny fraction of what I was earning for the hospital system that I worked for. This isn't doctors vs. nurses to me... I was just illustrating one tiny, specific example of inequity in a broken system. One that has lost that specific system dozens of providers (NPs and doctors actually) in favor of one or two doctors who call in all the time, pawn off all the difficult patients to the NPs, but refuse to leave in an area where there is a doctor shortage (and nurse shortage too).
Thankfully I love my new job, and the doctors I work with are great...as has mostly been my experience as an NP.
My plans were to go to medical school actually.... I had the grades for it. But unfortunate life events happened in my early 20s, so I went back to school later and became an NP because it was a shorter route for me.
dawgsjw ยท -32 points ยท Posted at 00:08:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nice brag!
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:18:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would call it more of a bitch session myself
dawgsjw ยท -28 points ยท Posted at 00:36:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah right, that was a good brag!
elevan11 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:01:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What
WalropsHunter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:41:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:44:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
MasonCrosby4Life ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:05:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He was a solid, small-town doctor that had moved into a more senior/advisory position. He was a jack of trades and a "master" of a few.
This was back in 2013 and a hospital meeting ARRA/Meaningful Use regulations made a good sum of money but it required a lot of commitment. There were no hurt feelings and a passing of the torch feeling with the doctors.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:38:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was a scribe.
The entire reason I had a job was computer illiterate medical professionals. I witnessed so much two finger, T Rex typing.
themysciraschema ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:31:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
... Is it Epic?
MasonCrosby4Life ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:14:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No. Good guess. I worked for a competitor.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me once how she was angry when the office she worked at switched from typewriters, (yes, fucking typewriters in the 90s) to word processing.
kongnamul ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:50:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is unfortunate. I feel for people like this too. A law firm in the building next to ours just let 200+ people go a few months ago because they couldn't keep up with the changing technology and actually resisted learning any of it. I mean couldn't use anything past a calculator. All that's left in each dept are young 20-30 something paralegals. It kind of sucks actually, because most of them seemed very smart and very good at what they did.
mickeyxz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:11:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thought it said "medieval software."
pizy1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god. I was positive you were talking about my dad up until the 'retired.' He constnatly bitches about the electronic medical records system at his hospital. He had only a pager up until 5 or 6 years ago and only got his own personal use cell phone 2-3 years ago, at which point I had to make him his first-ever email address. (For the few years prior, if he absolutely had to give someone an email address, he'd give them my mom's.). He's finally catching on a bit with technology, texts me when he needs to, et cetera... but now he's probably only got a few more years before retirement. So I guess I can see why docs in his age range would rather bow out than feebly try to keep up.
Panzerbeards ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Medical staff in general seem to be totally oblivious when it comes to computers. The amount of times I've had to show very highly paid, highly educated specialists how to send an email or print something is ridiculous.
I don't even work in IT, I'm just seen as "the computer person" on the ward because I type with both hands and therefore must be a wizard.
Luke90210 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He could have hired a scribe. Scribes follow doctors around and enter the data into the EHR. Its not cheap, but at the end of the day when the doctor is done, he/she is done and can just leave. Thats not true for most doctors still writing out records by hand.
insane_troll_logic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:28:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of this scene: https://youtu.be/2bTBVdumayw
loppneli002 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Alot of people retired earlier than usual when the new computerized systems came out, it was just too much to learn for just another few years on the work force. That age group is my target demographic. Source:IamA IT Guy
MasonCrosby4Life ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:06:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is a hell of a challenge but nothing like their appreciation and excitement when it pays off.
GOTMADRID ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh damn I loled
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:39:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:39:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should seriously sit down and learn Excel. If you learn to use it properly, you'll be 2-3x more productive than your coworkers with less tedious effort.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:22:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PurePerfection_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are plenty of free online classes covering Microsoft Office. If you're looking for something in-person and affordable, check local community colleges. They often run computer skills classes for working professionals who need to learn this kind of software in order to keep or find a job.
smurf123_123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I was a geek growing up and had a rudimentary knowledge of Excel in high school but wasn't all that familiar with it. Took a general office course and couldn't believe how much I learned in such a short time. There are many inexpensive ways to learn Excel in a short time. I would encourage you to take the time and learn it, the knowledge will make your work flow much faster.
*Edit, can't spell Excel apparently
Grobur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like you didn't learn too much, seeing how you didn't even manage to spell the name of the program correctly.
smurf123_123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, was on mobile when I replied. My point still stands, a basic understating of excel doesn't take very long and it's a skill that comes in very handy.
dhgdsgh ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:36:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You meant for him to move the CURSOR, not move the mouse. He did EXACTLY what you told him to do. Sounds like computerthink to me.
MasonCrosby4Life ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thus why I pointed out the literally aspect.
dhgdsgh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but isn't that how a computer would think if you input instructions like that?
choicesarelimited1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:02:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
if you refuse to learn any new technology since the day you graduate medical school, you are just technologically illiterate and you shouldn't be working
PM_ME_CHUBBY_GALS ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:19:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is the software from Epic?
MasonCrosby4Life ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No. Another EHR
Cluster-Crisp ยท 587 points ยท Posted at 21:34:00 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Took a communications course and one of the classes was journalism. We spend a solid 10 minutes showing her how to start a new project on the software she was supposed to be teaching us.
"Click there where it says new project"
Tutor proceeds to quit the program and restart the computer.
Tutor: "Oh wait thats not supposed to happen I think something is wrong with the computer"
I guess the best way to describe it is you know when you're watching your friend play a video game and you tell them 'go there!' 'where?' 'right there!! THATS WHERE THE THING IS!! TO YOUR RIGHT!!' player proceeds to turn left.
Yeah it's like that except you're paying money to be there and not having fun.
Delanium ยท 233 points ยท Posted at 06:06:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. My family got launched into a huge legal battle when my grandfather died, and 14-year-old me got called into the living room every single night to help my dad forward emails between lawyers, and show him how to save the documents.
"Now just click that paperclip icon."
"Where?"
"Right there" *points on screen
"Here?" *points at other side of screen
"No... dad... no... would you just let me do it?"
"Delanium, I know how to use my computer."
"THEN WHY AM I HERE!?"
javitogomezzzz ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 07:37:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, my mom does this shit every single time.
"How do I do X on my phone?" hands me the phone "Well, you tap here, then you..." takes the phone from my hands
Why the fuck do you even ask me for help?
[deleted] ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 10:47:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ToiletSiphon ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 14:08:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This. Do it with them, not for them
SerasVal ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:34:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is the approach I took with my father for years. I tried and tried and tried to teach him how to do simple things like copy pictures off his phone or copy and paste files (something he insists he knows how to do, but refuses to show me he can do it and instead makes me do it for him) and he just cannot learn it and I don't have 30 minutes to spend showing him how to do it every time. Sometimes people just can't do it for whatever reason.
lannvouivre ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:26:58 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, Dad! See you later!
Habisky-SS13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:52:15 on January 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually started doing this. It gets the point across eventually.
The_professor053 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:22:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"SPITE!"
hgfdsgvh ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:50:06 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For a second I actually thought your name was Delanium. And I don't know why, but I thought it was badass af.
Delanium ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:24:32 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because being named Delanium would be badass af.
My actual name's Delany... so.... half win?
Also, what are you doing wandering around 5 month old AskReddit threads?
hgfdsgvh ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:36:26 on January 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm new here. I started off on the askreddit sub and then somehow slowly wandered around interesting subs after people linked to them. Delany is still a sweet name :)
Delanium ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:48 on January 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit! I want badass, not sweet!
AskReddit's a good place to start. And remember there's pretty much a subreddit for anything. If you have an interest, just type it in the search bar and there's a 98% chance there'll be a subreddit for it.
hgfdsgvh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:04:07 on January 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, if it helps that "sweet" was like a 90's sweeeet, not an; awww, look at how sweet those puppies are! Thanks for the tip! I'm trying to find subs that are funny and nonfiction. However, I have enjoyed the Askreddit ones that involve "things you didn't know." That's how I got turned in this direction in the first place. The really popular "what did you learn surprisingly late in life?" thread that pops up.
motorsizzle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:29 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Ok cool, I'll see you later then."
deadnotstupid ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:30:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And now here you are writing about it to inform others. Journalism achieved
Super_Cyan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:36:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did the same thing, but it was for a Computer Literacy class.
That teacher could tell you all day how to change the font in Word, but couldn't do anything beyond that.
I had no clue how she got that job.
PM_ME_TIG_OLE_BITS ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:54:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My comp sci teacher was like this. Finally we found a solution; she logged into her computer and we emailed ourselves the entire course folder, as each lesson had a word document from another previous teacher. Then another student and I would teach the course.
She was replaced a couple of years later by a teacher who got arrested last month for sexting (and sexing) a student.
motherofdragons10 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:06:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminded me of this.
http://imgur.com/7DEzapR
hypervelocityvomit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:35:02 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
F-Yes-Ucking. That's "Tech Support over phone in a nutshell."
NeuralHandshake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:15:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I also took Comm/Journalism classes and experienced the same thing. It was mind numbing.
Alix1723 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:47:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "Tech Support, how can I help you?"
Them: "I'm unable to start a new project on my laptop"
Me: "What application are you using?"
Them: "SIR, I am NOT a programs person so I don't know."
Me: "What kind of laptop are you using?"
Them: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A PROGRAMS PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"
MC_Fillius_Dickinson ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 12:41:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just stop. Please don't run this joke into the ground on the first day.
Imperator_Knoedel ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:17:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "How can I help you?"
Them: "I'm unable to get people to laugh at my jokes."
Me: "What kind of jokes are you making?"
Them: "SIR, I am NOT a comedic person so I don't know."
Me: "Are you making puns, or funny observations, or copy pasting something you found on the Internet with slight modifications?"
Them: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A COMEDIC PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"
guitarguywh89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was the lesson.
/s
fantabularistical ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She must have been fucking with you.
nowhidden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:22:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once had a classmate explain to the programming lecturer that he could save his projects into a different directory than 'My Documents'. It blew this guys mind. But yeah top quality instruction on any computing subject was not this guys forte.
77remix ยท 565 points ยท Posted at 22:21:29 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom thinks you can only access the sites she uses a lot at school (google and email) on the Safari browser
She thinks Google Chrome, Firefox etc are rip offs and are going to give her a computer virus when I help her at home.
EsQuiteMexican ยท 812 points ยท Posted at 05:29:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Somewhere, two Apple marketing employees are high-fiving each other.
AyyLMAOdazdank ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 08:29:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eiffel towering his mom.
TurboNoodle69 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:57:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Somewhere, two Apple marketing employees are jacking-off each other.
FTFY
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:44:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
cjhobbes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:45:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
settle down, lich
12thr33 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:51:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why the fuck does every mom in the world think Google Chrome is a virus?
ProgrammingProgram ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 11:22:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "Your child, how can I help you?"
Mom: "I'm not able to log into the website!"
Me: "Okay what message is it showing when you try to log in?"
Mom: "SON, I am NOT a Safari rip-off person so I don't know."
Me: "Do you know which web browser you're using?"
Mom: "I don't know what that is!"
Me: "Okay, when you want to go on the internet, do you click on a blue E, or a multicolored circle, or..."
Mom: "SON, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A STUPID FUCKING RIP-OFF PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"
scottishdrunkard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a meme now!
montyberns ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:26:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually had this issue with a former boss at an AV company. We installed Chrome on all the office computers so we could avoid the horrors of IE, and he got pissed and uninstalled them because it was "getting viruses on the computers." The man was in charge of all the computer related orders that we received... it was awful.
may_june_july ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:44:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had something similar at work. A coworker thought she could only access her email account from her computer. If she came to my office, she wanted to use my google account so she could send an email.
scottishdrunkard ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:39:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can't use Google on Google Chrome? Man, your Mom is crazy.
lannvouivre ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:25:59 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother told my parents Firefox was bad shareware and giving their 10-year-old computer viruses, and THAT'S why it was slow.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:23:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let me guess, she thinks Internet Explorer is highly secure too?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:43:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad is not particularly computer illiterate. He's been using them since the 90s or 80s, had always been a relatively early adopter, but it took me years to convince him Firefox was not malware. He uses chrome now I think. So does my mom, finally.
alienkreeper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:21:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandfather thinks PeoplePC is in charge of the whole internet.
LayneFlyerBAMF ยท 420 points ยท Posted at 22:19:21 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother once accidentally opened the webcam on her computer. She then came running to me claiming that someone hacked her computer and was spying on her.
pjabrony ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 13:19:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The webcam is coming from inside the house!
IHaveNothing2Say ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 05:04:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On a related note. My 65 year old grandmother keeps a peice of tape over the Webcam on her computer. She's worried that someone will spy on her. A 65 year old housewife. Old people.
theivoryserf ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 05:35:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah...lots of people my age (21) do that. The post-Snowden era man.
IHaveNothing2Say ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:23:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did it when I got a computer from school, but otherwise I don't think I'm important enough for someone to hack my webcam.
DNGRDINGO ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 06:38:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You don't really have to be important, sometimes people just like to watch.
idreamofdinos ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:31:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/controllablewebcams
mini6ulrich66 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:57:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I say let them. I understand that it's an invasion of privacy but I'm not doing shit. They turn my mic on? Whatever. Just talking to myself about replaying Spyro 2 or something.
If a stranger gets off on watching me eat dinner or jerk off on my couch, and that doesn't hurt me in any way. Fuck it.
IHaveNothing2Say ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:08:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't use my laptop often enough for someone to catch anything juicy. But hey, if someone wants to watch me write or watch netflix in a dark room, let them.
flamingspew ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:45:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They can get a warrant to femotely turn on the mic in your phone.
eekstatic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But how is that different from getting a warrant to put listening devices in my home?
Orchid-Chaos_is_me ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:27:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is actually an entire community of people who do exactly that for fun. Not to you specifically... generally, they try to get as many computers under their control as they can.
The level of access needed to control your webcam means they pretty much can do anything, including steal your personal info (credit cards, bank account, passwords, ect.), record keystrokes, and use your computer in a botnet.
gramprey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not cool man. Why are you spying on his grandmother anyway?
Souseisekigun ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 09:08:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's good advice, like "FBI webpages officially recommend it for civilians and their director does it" levels of good.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:32:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
These-Days ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:14:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow that's terrible! Just disgusting, that something like that exists? What could such a thing be called?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:42:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/controllablewebcams/
TriggeringEveryone ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:06:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The head of the FBI does that too.
So does the founder of Facebook.
Sremmurds ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:36:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My 18 year old friend does it with everything - Laptop, phone, iPad, computer webcam etc...
thatguy_randomnumber ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:02:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My very tech-savy friend does the same thing on his phone.
Meh_Turkey_Sandwich ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother in law does that
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:41:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hello its me ur mother
Bluesberry12345 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:09:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
no it's not
jangoknight7 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:02:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yes
mini6ulrich66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom had GPS enabled on her phone and when it started to do the little pin that says "Location found" she was convinced my step dad had installed some app onto her phone so he could track her. My step dad is a super nice dude and my mom has some issues. But that's fixed now.
ImGonnaKickTomorrow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh God! She's one of those paranoid freaks that would come into my shop with a piece of electrical tape over her laptop's webcam, isn't she? I can assure you, this is WAY more common than you might think...
hgfdsgvh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:56 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This. I would describe this as amazeballs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And decided to show her the footage of the spying
howiela ยท 280 points ยท Posted at 21:48:33 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
A girl I went to high school with spilled some alcohol on her comouter, and in her half drunk mind she thought the best way to dry it was to put it in the oven. Well it might work, but it's not very good if the oven is 150+ Celsius.
Needless to say, the computer got
friedbaked.edit: pun
HighlandsBen ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:24:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You mean braised.
Victinithetiny101 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:41:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's weird, why didn't it charge the computer?
Varanite ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 01:07:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It wasn't a microwave, she put it in a conventional oven by mistake.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:53:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That girl is so stupid she doesn't even understand how heat works.
howiela ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:06:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Worst part is that she isn't that stupid. I wouldn't expected her to do that, so I was quite surprised after I heard that she'd done it.
AquaeyesTardis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:11:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gosh darn it
howiela ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:18:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who would have guessed it?
AquaeyesTardis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:59:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The puns
mcnelson373 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:39:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Knew a guy one time who spilled water in his Macbook Pro and decided the best thing to do was use a hairdryer to dry it out....needless the say every key on his keyboard shriveled up and melted
wurm2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:55:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well you do sometimes need to bake individual chips to remove moisture that's been absorbed by the casing before soldering them but it's usually done at 125C and not at 150+ and not with a whole computer.
Prototype_es ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:37:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like it got baked
bluescriblles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:05:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Technically, it got baked.
FlyingCarsArePlanes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:26 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then there's this: http://www.businessinsider.com/man-fixes-laptop-by-putting-it-in-the-oven-2014-12
dupelize ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:28:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"
"Okay, have you baked it?"
coolfir3pwnz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:40:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
450F for 12 minutes? Yeah.
grievre ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 09:46:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
150C is not very hot (for electronics), I feel like most electronics will survive that while powered off. Maybe not the batteries though.
howiela ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:37:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I don't think the computer would have been ruined if she had cleaned it first, but it was full of the drink she spilled (juice + alcohol in computer isn't the best). I guess it shorted out the circuits, or killed the battery.
Edit: she also did nothing with the computer, except putting it in the oven (didn't disassemble it at all).
christian-mann ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:51 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ehhhhh most CPUs don't like to be above 100C.
grievre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:07 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
while turned off?
charrcheese ยท 140 points ยท Posted at 00:58:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at Walmart years ago when PC's still came with Windows XP. We had one on display with a black and white picture of a black lab as the background, which was one of the default windows backgrouds. A guy asked me how I got a picture of his dog on the computer.
fantabularistical ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 04:58:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even think that counts as tech illiterate. That's... dog illiterate. No, that's life illiterate.
CherryWolf ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:01:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You sure he wasn't joking?
charrcheese ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:27:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He was not, it was clear
slowsuby ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:58:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember that background. It looked a lot like our lab too but at that age (12 or so) I knew it wasn't our dog. What a dingus
95DarkFire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:19:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The poor dog :(
beccaonice ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:01:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What if it just really really looks like his dog?
Dent13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:37:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The dog is clearly smarter than the human that feeds it
Jedimaster1975 ยท 274 points ยท Posted at 23:18:03 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad after getting his first smartphone not believing me when I told him the email he got on his phone was the same as what he got on his pc.
ived_nella ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:22:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to explain exactly this to my grandma yesterday. My aunt sent her plane tickets and said she could get the email on her computer or her phone but Grandma only uses her phone for email(never touches her laptop). She also often thinks texts and email are the same thing, or can't understand how to open or reply to an email even though I've shown her how and seen her do it about 100 times.. at least she's figured out how to text me, even though she doesn't know what the backspace button is.
Awakend13 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:29:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same. My mom is the worst with email and passwords for all websites. I asked her to pull up an email on her phone that had info I needed and she was like "I can't! That was on the desktop at home!"
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:22:55 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom forgot the master password to her machine (27" iMac) and needed it for something (forgot what), so I went and booted her machine into single-user mode to reset it. Then I re-enabled requiring a password to login to her user account so she'd have to use it enough to remember it.
She texted me not 30 minutes later to tell me she forgot her new one already.
Luckily, she texted me another 30 minutes later to tell me she remembered it. So that worked out better than expected.
That's been her only major screwup with her computer(s) in almost a decade, though. Proud of her.
Awakend13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:50:09 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yea if she can remember her password for that long she's definitely doing better than a lot of people! It took 2 hours for us to get my moms new iPhone set up with Facebook and email because she couldn't remember her password so we'd send it to her email to change and then she couldn't remember her email either. And she has several dormant accounts!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:54:49 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually don't think she'd used her password more than a couple times since setting up her machine after it got replaced (her 24" bit it, Apple gave her the 27" as a replacement -- sweet deal, really).
Normally, I'd just do stuff from my own admin account on the machine, but I figured this was the right time to fix a potential problem rather than just the symptom.
I will say this: she picks legitimately secure passwords. Like, a step or two beyond that xkcd comic.
Awakend13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:39:14 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well good on your mom! And I find that letting them do things in their own helps them remember better too. But sometimes you just have to take over lol.
kwierso ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:54:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Parents had this, but their desktop mail client at the time was set to download a copy of each message and then remove it from the server. That was a fun debugging session.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PM_ME_YOUR_BIG_LOAD ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:23:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think the phrase "the email" is in reference to the service and not the individual emails. As in like, it's the same thing. The one and only email.
Gred-and-Forge ยท 468 points ยท Posted at 23:06:18 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to show a customer how to click the left mouse button.
I pointed to it and said "click this button".
She looked at the keyboard confused for a moment and then just slapped the keyboard.
It took me 3 minutes to understand that she thought all buttons did the same thing.
After explaining that they didn't, she still slapped the keyboard whenever I told her to press the mouse button while pointing at it.
GoldenWizard ยท 371 points ยท Posted at 01:44:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She may have something wrong with her...
Gred-and-Forge ยท 168 points ยท Posted at 03:57:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I dealt with the lady and her husband for 2 weeks. The only things she had wrong with her were a short temper and an inexcusable rudeness towards anyone trying to help her.
Seriously though: she had neither developmental nor degenerative disorders. She simply had never learned to use a computer and flew off the handle at us when any action took more than 2 steps. She accused of of breaking her property and swindling her out of money (we hadn't charged her a dime to show her how to use the basic functions of her computer).
She ended up threatening to sue us for giving her computer viruses (no viruses). At that point I had to tell her that if she was going to pursue legal action against our company, then we could no longer render her service until the matter had been resolved.
EDIT: in hindsight, she may have had some form of paranoia. We were always very calm and very polite and we explained all of our actions as simply as possible. When that failed, we simply asked her what she would like us to do which usually made her dissolve into hysterical angry tears. Her reactions were too extreme to really be explained by GBS (General Bitch Syndrome).
hgfdsgvh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:13 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so glad you included 'general bitch syndrome' because I was confused af. I was seriously wondering what GuillainโBarrรฉ syndrome could possibly have to do with her ape like reaction to her confusion haha
StSpider ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 13:21:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, that's not even normal. Only someone with a serious mental deficit would think that dozens of buttons exist only to perform the same task.
libraryspy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:23:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://99percentinvisible.org/article/user-illusion-everyday-placebo-buttons-create-semblance-control/
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:14:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She might be a caveman
gameboy17 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:43:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What, so... she thought there was effectively only one button for the whole computer?
Coffeezilla ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:52:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, at one point that was the case, fuck. That would've been when this woman was likely an infant.
DoneUpLikeAKipper ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:46:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Computer says no!
xdeadzx ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:43:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My first experience with computers was windows 3.1? portable desktop, had a little mouse trackball on the right side of the keyboard below the arrow keys with a left/right click. I was confused the mouse wasn't on the keyboard when I had to use another computer. But I don't think I'd ever just mash the keyboard to find the mouse button...
EndlessIntermission ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:26:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is the most retarded one in the thread in my opinion. Good lord.
ImGonnaKickTomorrow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:36:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did she make a "YALP!" sound every time she did it? She may have thought you were Joe DiMaggio...
I_EAT_HAMSTERS ยท 563 points ยท Posted at 19:31:58 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Health teacher wanted to show us a video, clicked on 'Google' on the google homepage (even though the search bar was just below it), and then proceeded to type in, "u tub . com".
Jaereth ยท 561 points ยท Posted at 19:58:27 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
GIVE_ME_BURGERS ยท 228 points ยท Posted at 22:05:06 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I tried this in google, all I got was cognitive behavior therapy.
Bing however, is a different story
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:33:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Turn off your adult filter and you'll get it. First thing is XVideos, next is XNXX.
anormalgeek ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 12:00:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LPT: xvideos and xnxx are the same site, just with a different "skin" on them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh cool, never realized that. Is there any reason for two separate domains?
anormalgeek ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:31:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They used to be different. I'm guessing they merged or one bought the other.
whos_dat_guy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:51:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
he lies, i tried both you rapscallion you
takemymoneynow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got Compulsory Basic Training for 125cc motorbikes.
MachinesOfN ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:05:17 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Google relatively recently turned on contextual adult filtering, which filters out adult content unless it's really sure that you're looking for it.
el_loco_avs ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:43:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bless you Bill Gates. They should just spinoff Bing as a separate company to make it into what it should be.
tugnasty ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:20:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Change the name to Boing.
FaithInTheSound ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 06:15:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I was once in the market for a new sleeping bag and confidently typed www.dicks.com into the address bar. Was NOT a website for sporting goods .
EDIT: Scrolled further down the thread and learned 1.) I'm not alone 2.) Now it is, in fact, sporting goods.
Arancaytar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:41:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
(At least not in the way you expected.)
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:22:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jpack325 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:46:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dicks Sporting Goods is a popular store in the US. They sell hunting, camping, and sport equipment
GreatBabu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:05:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, don't go to 5guys.com expecting to eat.. it's not hamburgers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure we were told to make sure we typed in whitehouse.gov not com in elementary school, because something similar happened when a girl was doing a project.
Birdyer ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:29:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They must have changed the algorithm since then, all my searches for cock and ball torture have resulted in nothing but psychology pages.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:25:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Google gives recommendations based on your search history... found that out the hard way
Jaereth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:06:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yikes... I guess that makes the story even worse...
maffoobristol ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:25:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once, when I was a wee lad, I wanted to go to the "Manchester Evening News" website and just instinctively wrote "men.com". Never before had I seen so many dicks.
NotThtPatrickStewart ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:16:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
First time I ever used a search engine at school was middle school, late 90's. I was using dogpile. Doing a paper on World War Two/Hanford. Searched for "fat man and little boy." Got a stern talking to from the principal.
95DarkFire ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:38:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you get a chance to explain yourself?
NotThtPatrickStewart ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:34:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did. The worst one was accidentally typing in "feeaecade.com" (instead of "freearcade.com). This was back when porn sites had a million pop-ups that you could never close.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:50:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used dogpile up until a couple of years ago. Insisted it was better than Google
PM_ME_CHUBBY_GALS ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:20:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it bad that when I saw CBT videos I didn't need to read the rest to know where this was going?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:38:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Google psyched 'em
Jakinator178 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:02:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For health and educational purposes.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:17:11 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Jaereth ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:21:36 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And now I have to google that, thanks, bye.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just shot soda through my nose laughing. Thank you
incipit-satan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Awkward
jaybee1414 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:40:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Google automatically blocks NSFW subjects. That story didn't happen.
Plokij31 ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 21:34:42 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cock and Ball Torture is a band so I guess that makes sense.
๐๏ธ MrJoeSchmo ยท 454 points ยท Posted at 20:54:00 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
u tub.com
U want tub? U want watch people in tub? Come to u tub.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 05:35:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eyy bby u wan sum tub ?
Guacamolio ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 06:35:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know a tub girl
VictoryNotKittens ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:04:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SIR I am not a TUB person!
shinobigamingyt ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:20:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Read this in a Russian accent.
SunshineBuzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey bb u want sum tub
filemeaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In case anyone is curious it's a spam site.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:32:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Malkovich? Is that you?
Kinger15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no, I'm not falling for Tub Girl again
PM_ME_DICK_PICTURES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wanna watch TubGirl
admin-throw ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:45:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just tried it. Youtube was the top result. Nice one health teacher.
nupanick ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:20:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Universal Tube & Rollform Equipment used to operate from the url "utube.com". For a while they dealt with the confusion by putting a link to youtube in the corner of their site. Then they gave up, turned their front page into a youtube clone for the ad revenue, and put a link to their real site in the corner of that.
thesymmetrybreaker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:05:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My high school had set up a filter blocking YouTube on the campus Internet, so I decided to try to get past it by telling my math teacher about some great math-related video & then watching him type in the password for my own use. Unfortunately, he knew even less about the campus security system than I did, and it was at that point I realized the filter was put in place by the district & even the staff on campus lacked authorization to circumvent it. In retrospect, the fact the district office controlled the air conditioners should've been a red flag indicating they micromanage (although I'm not sure I knew about the AC until after the Youtube attempt).
Delanium ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:04:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a professor three months ago (I'm 18, she was around 60), who was telling me about a funny video she saw relating to the subject she taught. I asked how I could watch it, and she said "Have you heard of the Youtube?"
I thought she was joking. Turns out another student had showed her the video earlier in the day, and she'd never heard of Youtube before then. My 80-year-old grandfather knows what Youtube is and how to use it.
CerealKillerOats ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fake. She obviously had the video ready beforehand or she wouldnt have shown you it. Maybe she typed that the first time she found the video, but she probably wouldnthave typed it like that when she showed you, having learnt from the mistake. Also, teachers use the internet quite a lot, so that also makes me doubt you.
arlsonfr ยท 729 points ยท Posted at 20:28:56 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Older woman using the address book on her computer...
Her: "how do I send an email?" Me: "click on Mail in the dock. " Her: (clicks on mail) Where did my address book go?! Me: "it's behind the Mail window." Her: looks behind the monitor
Wishingwurm ยท 494 points ยท Posted at 02:47:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We had a customer once that, when told to "close all the windows", left the call and could be heard shutting all the windows in his house in the background.
Liger1 ยท 282 points ยท Posted at 04:48:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The wifi was getting out through the windows.
green_meklar ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 08:16:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My family has a legend about one of my relatives who supposedly put masking tape over all the unused electrical outlets in their house so as to keep the electricity from leaking out.
eekstatic ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 08:19:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is either funny or sad depending on whether it was just a misguided conviction or a form of OCD.
KeySolas ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:09:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well to be fair if they are UK/Ireland 3 plugs, then if there is nothing inserted into the top slot, the electricity is sealed off. Stops electrocution!
Epicmanman ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:41:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This apparently used to be a thing in the highlands of Scotland (and probably elsewhere too). Electricity was a fairly new concept to them and so when a light bulb went out it was usually thought that the electricity would fall out while you were changing the bulb. At least that's what I think my dad was telling me about.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was in Thurber
Wishingwurm ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:53:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Another customer complained that her new wireless router wasn't working. After much investigation, it turns out she had wrapped it in towels and stuffed it down behind her sofa because she was afraid of the "dangers" of the wifi signal.
She wanted to be able to connect her laptop, wirelessly, in every room in the house, but thought wireless routers caused brain cancer, so she bought one then mummified it.
We had to explain to her that you can't have a wireless router and then block off all hope of the base doing its job at the same time.
Liger1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:13:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
as hilarious as that is, you have to admire her determination, i wouldn't even think that sofa and some towels actually could stop wifi signal to the point of not working
Wishingwurm ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:32:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It did for the early "base station" models. I worked tech support for over 10 years and those early routers were prone to interference issues. A working coffee maker, a big 'fridge - anything with a good electromagnetic field - could mess them up, and certainly wrapping the thing in a bundle of towels then stuffing them behind an overstuffed couch would block the signal.
Modern routers are much better but those early ufo shaped things from a specific fruit-named company were terrible for interference.
DresdenPI ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:17:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually a thing. Windows have a much lower rate of refraction than walls but a closed window functions slightly better at keeping electromagnetic radiation from leaving your house than an open one.
disc_addict ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:55:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You need a proper faraday cage to keep that sweet sweet wifi in!
carnagereap ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:53:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Now dim the lights..."
Wishingwurm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:56:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
O the temptations sometimes....
Most customers I dealt with on the phones were good folks. I didn't mind if a customer didn't know anything about computers-- that's okay, nobody is born knowing how to work them --- but I sometimes wondered how someone could be so blasted dumb yet pull in enough money to afford the fanciest systems out there.
CHEESE_PETRIL ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:19:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Grandma has also done this. My Uncle was trying to help her over the phone and told her to open windows. She put the phone down and opened all the windows in the house. She thought it would help keep the computer cool.
Wishingwurm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:48:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The New All-House-Air-Cooled PC for 2016 :D
LoraRolla ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:30:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can imagine the calls of "No ma'am. MA'AM CAN YOU HEAR-god dammi followed by 5 minutes of waiting
Wishingwurm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:46:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much exactly what happened, followed by the customer being put on "mute" so he wouldn't hear the hysterical laughter from our section.
WankerRotaryEngine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:38:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should have tried "restart windows".
Wishingwurm ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:57:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We didn't think we had time to wait for the glazier to get there to "reinstall" them.
MrGuardiola ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Somehow this is the funniest of all...
commandakeen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:27:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favorite in this high quality thread.
OneRedSent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It took me a long time to understand that the boxes that popped up on your screen were what they were calling windows. They don't look like windows at all. If you're self-taught, that's not an intuitive leap.
MazrimCage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hearing that would be the highlight of my life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You must be kidding.
Wishingwurm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:28:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I was.
The exact words given to the customer were, "Now close all the windows." followed by "Okay, just a sec." and the sounds of him banging a window closed and then walking away from the phone.
We also got a call once where the starting line from the customer was, "Yeah, so, my laptop caught on fire so I flipped it out the window. What should I do now?" I didn't find out the ending to that one as it was considered a "safety issue" and as escallated to another group pronto.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:37:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The laptop was on fire and he called tech support?? some people...
Wishingwurm ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:54:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course we asked if he needed to call 911 right from the start, just in case his house was burning down. Luckily it didn't come to that.
People often call tech support because they're not sure what to do, panic, and dial the one number they have handy.
Another time I got a slightly tipsy guy on the phone. He said he'd done a dumb thing, laughed, then said he was looking for advice.
He'd put his laptop on top of his car while he was loading the trunk and forgot about it. As he pulled out of his driveway he saw his laptop fly forward off the roof, and in a moment of panic attempted to pull forward to "catch it". As a result he ran over the unit, which was now in a U shape (these things had metal cases so they could bend before they broke, at least on the outside).
He said he pressed the power button and it turned on, but the screen was all cracked. Was there any point in having it repaired?
I gently suggested that likely the answer was no.
samstown23 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:18:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's astonishing how reluctant certain generations are to understand the concept of windows and menus, especially since they've been around for quite a while now.
"Where did it go???!"
"It's behind the browser/emailer/window"
"Huh??!"
"If you put a folder on your desk and throw a newspaper on it, where's the folder then?"
"Beneath it!"
"And why would it be any different here? The darn thing is even called a folder!"
God, I hate this blank stare you get then... it's about as aggravating as explaining a toddler the principle of the conservation of mass.
Liger1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:37:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you would be great at ELI5
CaughtInDireWood ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:26:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is my grandma all the way. Also my mom on occasion.
My brother and I have BOTH told/showed her how to use email at least 3 times EACH, my brother even going so far as to screencap certain steps, print them out, and draw arrows on it pointing to what she needs to click on. She refuses to learn how to do it. It's incredibly frustrating!!
Mom refuses to use tabs, just opens a new window every time... has to ask me to connect her camera to the computer and I can't count the number of times I've had to tell/show her how to save a picture from her camera/facebook/online to her desktop.
mom is 50, grandma is working on 73
tj_haine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:24:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bless her.
My 1 year old son did something similar at the weekend. I opened a browser tab in front of Netflix and he tried to peer around it so he could keep watching Voltron. So cute.
OneEvilWeevil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok this one got me to laugh
CronosDage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:46 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
back in my day ye could only have one program open at a time
Yelnik ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:19:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Middle aged women using computers is one of the most irritating things I can think of.
flipping_gosh ยท 343 points ยท Posted at 22:48:29 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
An Officer in my military unit genuinely was curious if he could move his computer mouse from the right side of his keyboard to the left without it causing a problem.
He was left handed.
Another one: A girls laptop died and I said "It needs to be plugged in, the batteries are dead" and she gave me the most dumbfounded blank stare I have ever seen in my life and said "This has a battery?". It was her laptop. I don't even know how the fuck she thought it stayed on.
AltheaFarseer ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:10:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandad got a laptop when I was about 17. The first time the battery died, he was really confused by why it suddenly turned off. My gran asked if she should go pick up some AAs from Tesco...
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:43:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
crystalgecko ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 09:25:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait... has Windows stopped supporting mouse button flipping natively some time since version 3.11?
BeesSolveEverything ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:16:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But it's supposed to be wireless!
i_sigh_less ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:26:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Arrg! My boss bought "wireless" security cameras for the shop, then got annoyed when I told him that they had to be plugged into power.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:52:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wait what
I'm left handed
and my mouse is on the right side
I've been doing it wrong for thirteen years
ArsenicAndRoses ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:59:06 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can swap the buttons too so your index finger is the "main" click. Also you can grab a left hand cursor if you like.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:05:36 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like having a left handed cursor will have me constantly questioning reality
HyphenSam ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:50:48 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's understandable. He probably didn't knew you could swap the buttons on the mouse.
AlmightyRuler ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:44:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A miniature hamster on a wheel, most likely.
AHippie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:31:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who uses the mouse with his left hand, just moved to the left side of the keyboard. No swapping control schemes or anything. I think it's weird and it makes him have to change the hotkeys for every game he plays, but it seems to work for him.
candybomberz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:10:52 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, the word battery is "weird". If you're used to round 1.5 AA batteries she probably thought that the laptop litterally had those in them.
Rechargable batteries are called akkumulator in other languages too, so this might have been source for confusion.
GoldenWizard ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:46:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Powered by unicorn farts.
MarcelRED147 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:27:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Taste the rainbow!
arunnair87 ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 23:46:29 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: Please press F2
Them: Do I press the F and 2 together, or F then 2?
Me: ** silence **
moltenshrimp ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 03:30:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They may just not be familiar with those keys?
dupelize ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:43:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For a long time Macs didn't have those keys. I remember the first time somebody told me to hit F2 on a PC in the early '00. I wouldn't call myself especially computer literate at the time, but I knew my way around my computer.
arunnair87 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:06:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Makes a little more sense to me now.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is because Steve Jobs hated them and didn't think they should exist.
dramboxf ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:38:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've gotten a script down for ALT and CTRL keys.
"I need you to press Ctrl+C."
"What?"
"Control is the key immediately beneath the shift key. It acts like a shift key. It doesn't do anything by itself, but it modifies the actions of other keys."
They GET that. Since they're (usually) used to holding SHIFT down and another key, they get CTRL and ALT a lot easier.
christian-mann ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:11:27 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unless they just use CapsLock for everything.
dramboxf ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:34:23 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
True. I have had a few of those. But I can clock about a 96% success rate on this.
Then there's my brother-in-law. Listening to him try and describe the TeamViewer password for his PC is high-larious. He literally spent thirty seconds trying to "describe" a left open bracket to me.
Da12khawk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:11:48 on November 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to me the other day helping a co-worker check her e-mail. f9... f and 9? lol
fantabularistical ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have had this happen to me... SO many goddamn times.
[deleted] ยท 428 points ยท Posted at 21:06:12 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in 2005, one of my friends, who had just become a medical doctor by the way, didn't really understand the internets and email. She asked for my email address and kept saying, "Okay so it's 'www. what?" I kept telling her to leave out the "www" and just give her my actual email address, but she never did get it. Just kept insisting it had to start with "www"
Hopefully she figured it out by now.
Flinkle ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 06:46:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, I can top that one. One of my best friends' dad was a bit drunk one night and wanted to fire off a nasty email to his former boss. Completely computer illiterate, of course. I asked him what the email address was, and he told me the street address. When I tried to explain to him repeatedly that email wasn't like regular mail, he wound up screaming the street address at me and told me I was a dumbass.
GLOOTS_OF_PEACE ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 02:57:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i'm curious how many people here know the difference between the world wide web and the internet. Without googling it!
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 04:05:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
GLOOTS_OF_PEACE ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 05:07:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely! The internet is the network that connects all the computers on earth that are online. The World Wide Web is just one means of transferring information on that network. Email uses the internet, but not the world wide web, it uses a different protocol. Hence why email addresses don't start with 'www' (which is relevant to OP's comment).
I became aware of it from an article written by a guy who works in IT, who said that it's not just old people who are bad with technology - it's also young people who have just as many problems!
robochicken11 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:30:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Am young person. Nearly nobody else knows how to do anything but check Facebook on their iPhones. I've heard people say nobody has a PC anymore, it's just mobile and tablets...
spaceflora ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:54:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend shared her theory on this that there is an age related "sweet spot" with technology. Well, it's applicable to any new technology really, but in this case it's computers. People who were born in the sweet spot where computers were just becoming accessible to the masses but you still had to know how one worked to actually use it well are the ones who are most naturally computer literate. The people born before computers became common obviously won't be, but the people born AFTER computers became so easy to use you didn't need to know how they worked will/are also similarly illiterate.
Try it with cars. Most people today don't really know how a car works, but they can drive the thing. But it seems like "everyone" used to know how a car worked - mostly because they had to know to drive it. But what people forget is that there was an older generation before that who didn't grow up with cars, and they would have had trouble understanding how the damn things worked.
blammer ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:10:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting theory, so would this mean that the 80s and 90s kids are the true computer literate ones?
spaceflora ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:30:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, that's pretty much the sweet spot for computer literacy.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
blammer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Very cool, I'm an early 90s kid and from Southeast Asia. I think my peers and I have almost the same type of experiences
Rejusu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
From the sounds of it you are a millennial (generation Y). Millenials are those who reached young adulthood in the 2000's (ie born early eighties to early nineties) not someone born around then. Eighteen year olds now are Generation Z, or the iGeneration.
Rejusu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This really used to frustrate me when reading tech blogs that had drunka little too deeply of the Apple koolaid who were trying to convince people that the iPad would replace the PC. Six years later those people are still wrong.
miahelf ยท -36 points ยท Posted at 05:16:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
woosh
GLOOTS_OF_PEACE ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:31:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao what joke did i miss? Or was this reallh common knowledge to you fellas
krystann ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:52:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know the fundamental difference, so yeah I learned something
DrIchmed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought i knew it but i got it exactly the wrong way around...
StumbleDay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you worry, my friend, it was HE that went woosh. Your comment was very informative :)
CA1900 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:29:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well of course, the internet is the little box we put up on top of Big Ben for the best reception...
disc_addict ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:59:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's also wireless!
OneRedSent ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:45:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. If you had asked me 20 years ago, I wouldn't have thought the www was the part that would have really taken off. I was more into usenet and ftp.
Epistaxis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:14:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm curious how many people here have even heard of the WWW. It's all just the internet nowadays. People even browse web content through dedicated apps on mobile devices, or read their email through web pages.
Eddie_Hitler ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 00:21:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
To be fair, you need an understanding of DNS and how things traditionally work before you can wrap your brain around why that is.
The domain is example.org. Anything "to the left" as a subdomain is effectively a server within that domain.
So www.example.org is the web server in the example.org domain. You might have mail.example.org - that's your mail server... or you can even call it "vladimirputinisatopdude.example.org", so long as the IP address for the vladimirputinisatopdude server was in the DNS zone's MX (Mail eXchanger) record. Your mail client will look up example.org and try to find the mail server by querying the MX record. It'll then be given the MX IP address, will connect directly to that server - probably on port 25 - and there'll be some dialogue going on to make sure your message is "sent"... what actually happens is it goes up to the mail server and gets stored in the database.
smashbrawlguy ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 01:11:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TFW you understand the technobabble
Mogg_the_Poet ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:59:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Found the "Can you say that in English?" character from every CSI ever
JustAQuickComment_ ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 09:13:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"We're just going to boot up the anti virus to get rid of any bugs at the moment, it should be fine to use."
"Can you say that in English please?"
"Well I'm just gonna turn the anti-virus program, it get's rid of any of the problems in the system."
"Can you say that in English please?"
"Um, well, basically just don't exit out of this box, because it's searching through the computer for issues."
"Can you say that in English please?"
"Jesus man, don't worry about it okay just don't press this x button okay?"
"Can you say that in English please?"
"Do no exit box please, if do so it be bad, big no no."
"Can you say that in English please?"
"Ra'naka deva don donska sneky snek๐๐๐."
"Oh I get it, thanks. Don't know why didn't just say that in the first place though."
RealGamerGod88 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:04:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck I love you.
moltenshrimp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for that explanation! I understand it at least a little better now!
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:42:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most people found it too laborious to say w-w-w and would just say w-w. "What do i write after w-w?" they would ask, wanting the domain name. "One more w", I would reply.
WankerRotaryEngine ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:34:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I routinely leave out the "www" part. Works like a charm anyway.
Don't tell her that. Heads might 'splode.
ThaNorth ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:58:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some say she's still typing w's to this day.
ladylattemotif ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:27:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No one ever heard from her again.
JfromGallifrey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was this way until a few years ago. Pissed my friend off every time I started typing "www.___" and that's how I learned you don't have to do that. I'm 26. Aside from researching random things online and other basic stuff, I'm still pretty computer illiterate. My dad is terrible with technology and I wasn't allowed to use the computer growing up for anything beyond typing papers for school and practicing typing. I got to college (eventually) and realized how behind I am these days.
agoia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She might work for the medical practice I support
slowsuby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've had that in my CS job. "What's your email address?" "www.generic_email@gmail.com"
drs43821 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funny enough, the original idea of "internet" was indeed a specialized system just for Emails. Then the engineers thought, why do we make it so specialized? We want a general protocol used for everything. Hence today's internet
ScorchingBullet ยท 1652 points ยท Posted at 20:02:51 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've said this before on r/pcmasterrace, but I was in Graphic Design class, it's near the end of class, and I'm bored as fuck 'cause I'm done my work.
These computers never get wiped because a bunch of people share them with projects lasting weeks, meaning people could lose work. Anyways, on the desktop sat a jpeg of a hotdog, being as bored as I am, I said it as the background and paste it x200 on the desktop.
Next day I come in, and the teacher asks who did it, I come clean, cause I didn't want people having access revoked or anything, and he tells me what I did was apparently beyond the capabilities of anyone in "tech support," as in, they couldn't fix it. You'd delete the images and they wouldn't go away.
He told me to fix it, so I did. I pressed F5 and all but 5 were gone, then I looked up a windows background and set it as the desktop.
I still don't understand how those kind of people are tech support at our school.
staticmcawesome ยท 887 points ยท Posted at 21:17:29 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
a computer illiterate boss once got angrier than i had ever seen her when she came to the register and saw that there was a picture of a cat with nick cage's face as the wallpaper. she was so fucking pissed, honestly scary angry, and one of the things she was mad about was 'if you have enough time to do something like this' as if changing the wallpaper took more than a couple clicks.
FelisEros ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 05:19:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Literally every problem my mother's computer had post-1996 was because I changed her wallpaper that one time, so don't underestimate the damage you might have wrought.
Matthew_Cline ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:40:05 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the "You touched it last" principle of technical support.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:38:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you downloading the images from totallynotavirus.com?
CMDR_Nineteen ยท 163 points ยท Posted at 22:43:22 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that the new promotional picture for Face/Off 2?
nmagod ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:21:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Face Off pissed me the fuck off
Voice, bone structure, blood type, and tissue rejection were all fucking ignored by that garbage movie, and that's before you realize that cage and travolta have like a foot height difference
CMDR_Nineteen ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 05:48:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. It's so silly. My favorite part is that you have the two most overacting actors in Hollywood trying to out-overact each other. It's goddamn hilarious.
Love that movie. XD
sunkzero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:37:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Face/Off 2: Catastrophe
chux4w ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd watch that.
916ian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a Face/Off 2 really tho
Plz
kidder952 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:58:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When working back at a college bookstore, we had a computer upfront to check on online orders and well when bored browse the internet. It lead to me and my other coworkers in the store changing the background of it to the most profound things we could find -- while still being mildly appropriate.
Had an older lady working there (she was going back to get her AA and wanted a little extra cash for the holidays), she was livid with the picture of Nick Cage as Jesus Christ as the background image and stood there -- with a line out the door -- trying to change it to something more appropriate. I watched for a second as she hard rebooted the machine, and quit on the spot when it was still there.
Boss had a good laugh.
nmagod ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:19:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'M GONNA NEED THAT PICTURE
Grifachu ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 05:41:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's a surprisingly large variety: https://www.google.com/search?q=cat+nicholas+cage&client=safari&rls=en&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiDruDMgqLOAhVEyWMKHf6FAI8QsAQIIA&biw=1133&bih=812&dpr=2
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
holy fuck. thank you.
The_Original_Yeti ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:43:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once changed the background of our price checkers (which are Windows phones with the one price checking app installed...) at work to a funny face I made. Well, the district manager ended up coming in the next day and got so mad because she couldn't figure out how to change it back that she threatened to fire me if I ever did anything like that again.
The_Power_Of_Three ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:32:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he thought you made the image as well?
staticmcawesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
no, i don't think that was it. i don't even think she knows how images like that are made. i wasn't even the one who changed it - i was burned out on nick cage cat images from long before, but since the coworkers who actually did it weren't there i was the one who got ripped a new one.
Obamathellamafarma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe she thought you were the one who made it?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:56 on August 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe because a copyrighted image, even a parody, on a business machine and within public view can cause serious problems.
Hoax13 ยท 557 points ยท Posted at 22:15:28 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In junior high back in 1984, I took a computer class. Towards the end of the year we began working with the program Turtle. Teacher had us make squares, triangles and circles as a test. When I was done, I began making cubes, spheres and pyramids. Blew my teacher away. She couldn't do it and asked me how. For our final, she had us draw a picture. I made a 6 second cartoon of a tank being vaporized by a UFO. My mom still has the floppy disk.
[deleted] ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 01:37:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is sort of unrelated, but as far as teachers being amazed by computers, I remember in the 2nd grade we were all in the computer lab learning about the computer with our teachers and when the computer instructor had us type in something in the search bar and it "autofilled", the entire room gasped. I can't believe how far we've come.
Sefirot8 ยท 110 points ยท Posted at 02:59:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yeh now today we would gasp the things autofill suggests
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:29:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Away by U wanted summer fun
Eggman-Maverick ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:27:06 on August 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What does this mean
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:31:21 on August 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ask autocorrect
JefferyTheWalrus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:49:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in elementary school, we got smartboards. The teacher would write something by hand, tap it with the pen, and it would turn into regular serif text. Shit blew my mind.
JokeDeity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:49:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't even have Google in the second grade... I'm not sure if I'm jealous.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't actually Google, I meant the address bar, not the search bar.
HighOnTacos ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 02:52:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Turtles were the best. And there was some other class, deer or something, but they didn't draw a line behind them.
I'm just amazed that from 1984 to 2008, the turtles survived. I'm sure they are still used to teach basic commands today.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:59:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Used it for a month in AP Comp Sci last year, it's alive and well.
SerasVal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:42:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated college in Comp Sci in May and one of the programming assignments we had when I took C was to create a turtle program that you could use to draw stuff. He wanted us to see what you could do with a relatively simple tool you can make yourself. Easily one of my favorite classes/professors. So turtles are certainly still a thing
MisterSquared ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 22:52:28 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, Logo! I got to play around with that in a class I took. Also learned how to make fractal graphics in QBASIC.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 01:50:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
MisterSquared ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:29:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. Helped with OLPC and Lego Mindstorms too. Sad.
imforit ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:24:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In sad news, Seymour Papert, inventor of the turtle language, died this past weekend.
DieKnowSoar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:23:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Upload it!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude. You made a Vine 30 years before Vine.
Daealis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:33:04 on December 20, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds similar to my first programming course. The teacher goes into a spiel about what we'll be learning this course (it was introductory to programming, done with Turbo Pascal). Then, as a closing argument/half-joke, tells us that "if we can do this today, you will get the highest points on this course", and opens a program that has a circle going up and down in a wavy line.
By that time I had already programmed C for a few years, dipped my toes to basic graphics, and Turbo Pascal had some really clear instructions and libraries. It took me less than 15 minutes to do that. Of course it wasn't quite the same, his circle went along a sine wave, whereas mine was a harmonic oscillator, swinging around an invisible center line.
Nevertheless he was impressed that I managed to imitate the program, as we never saw the code. Got top marks and probably pulled everyone else down for not trying hard enough.
mcshrek201 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you know that you made the very first vine video off this?
Guennor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:23:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Show us!
Orchid-Chaos_is_me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That floppy has likely been corrupted for over a decade.
Guennor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
huh. shame.
๐๏ธ MrJoeSchmo ยท 204 points ยท Posted at 20:06:20 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's pretty impressive that you trumped tech support with just a hotdog picture.
Also relevant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvKTOHVGNbg
ScorchingBullet ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 20:08:31 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was dumbfounded when he told me his guys couldn't fix it. Gave me and my friends a chuckle.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:00:36 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is going to sound really stupid but why wouldn't the icons dissapear until you refreshed the desktop? Surely they should go as soon as you select them and hit delete?
Draygon ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:49:14 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They couldn't figure out he set it as the desktop background.
ScorchingBullet ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:59:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They do, you just need to refresh the screen. It tells you it can't delete files that aren't there. This means they've been deleted but the icons stood. So you just simply refresh with F5.
I_throw_socks_at_cat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was the teacher one of those precious individuals who calls tech support on a daily basis because he can't, he literally just can't, work unless his background is the right shade of blue and all his icons are in the right position?
Neverd0wn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
U browse reddit with ur friends?
brilliantlyInsane ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:13:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I see your original link and raise you a remix.
C477um04 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:52:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've literally never seen the original of that posted before, it's always the one that gets more and more compressed as the video goes on.
PM_ME_ANYTHINGx ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:45:11 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://youtu.be/QEzhxP-pdos
akai_ferret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:06 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HOT DOG HOT DOG HOT DOG HOT DOG
DarthFarious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:30 on November 18, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What cartoon is that?
[deleted] ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 21:24:31 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Krushed_RED_pepperR ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:12:31 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your realy testing out the limits of your username.
applepwnz ยท 130 points ยท Posted at 21:10:45 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in a University IT department. Because it was a State university, it was unionized and based on seniority, so there were people who were janitors for years who knew nothing about computers who got cushy IT jobs just because they were with the University for so long.
Titus_Favonius ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 21:55:28 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've thought about working in IT at a university when I get sick of working in corporate and this is making me start to rethink the plan...
ConfusingDalek ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:06:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hahahaha
/r/talesfromtechsupport should keep you away
GreatBabu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:48:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But, if you have 1/32nd of a clue, you'd be a god, and run the place in 8 months.
jaytrade21 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 21:18:34 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I call into IT depts at universities as I work for a major IT/Tech vendor. A few are knowledgeable. Others are downright retarded, forget being technically knowledgeable.
SaturdayMorningSwarm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:09:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why does unionization mean seniority? Are the labour laws weird in your country?
hicow ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:20:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unions, at least in the US, heavily favor seniority within the union, if not the specific employer/role with an employer. How this landed janitors jobs in the IT department is likely explained by OP's university being retarded.
-Reddit_Account- ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:15:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no, are you okay?
username_lookup_fail ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:34:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Found the chemist.
ryguy28896 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:06:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh Jesus. I read this as not being ionized instead of being in a union.
I've been working too much.
username_lookup_fail ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:34:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Found the other chemist.
streamline57 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 22:44:46 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
With about a week left in my high school's 3rd year programming class, a kid found his computer was logged into someone else's account. Rather than just changing the background like a normal high schooler, he took the person's final project, dumped it into a folder, and named it something stupid. Then he copy and pasted a blank folder with the same name exponentially until there were something like 10,000, and layered them over each other. Now, my friend and I could have explained that navigating to the desktop in a file explorer and sorting the list by file size, or something like that could have worked. But it was funnier to watch the kid sort through them one by one for a week or so with the teacher standing over him
ItszBrian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He must have been sweating bullets trying to find it
punkwalrus ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:13:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Years ago, when Windows NT 4.0 was king, I was being interviewed for a job as a data analyst and programmer. One of the people interviewing me had NT on his laptop. The default for the screensaver back then was those little zigzag lines and they would start every four minutes. During most of the interview, my interviewer would look on his laptop, and get angry that the screen saver activated, and he had to type in his password to get his desktop back.
At some point, he started complaining about it. The last laptop he was Windows 3.11 WFW, and his laptop apparently did not have a screen saver at all. I asked him why he didn't change the time the screen saver came on? He said that he didn't know how to do that. So I right clicked on the desktop, selected display, clicked on the screen saver tab, and changed it from the default four minutes to something like 25 minutes.
The interviewer was amazed. He asked me how I knew that. I told him it was the same in Windows 95. I ended up getting the job, and he ended up being my boss for a while. He told everybody how smart I was. So I guess that worked out.
CyanPhoenix42 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:35:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What does F5 do?
Rybis ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:47:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL F5 refreshes the desktop
One_Legged_Donkey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:22:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I may be having a slow day but I'm struggling to see why that matters if the computers weren't wiped. The files should still have been there so a refresh wouldn't change anything.
CalvinsCuriosity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:31 on September 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm having trouble understanding this too. He copied the files 200x~ on the desktop and then hit refresh, that doesn't delete the files. I didn't know f5 was a refresh hotkey and I'm not tech illiterate but I think this is the basic problem with these "person doesn't know a basic concept of certain field" complaints. Op of this comment chain didn't give basic information about his anecdote that would clarify the situation. It's either laziness or ignorance; expecting people to understand what you're talking about, because of your understanding of a certain situation. And op of this comment chain also made several spelling and grammar mistakes, basic knawledge of writing English.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:25:31 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't remember the url but I once apparently mindfucked IT support from my university (I did freelancing support at the time too) by putting that site that fakes windows installs in full screen.
They went insane until someone pressed ESC. Then they had a mental meltdown.
Im_Not_Sleeping ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:33:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wait, are you telling me that they didnt know how to change the desktop picture back to default, or am i too stupid to understand what i just read?
Chickenderpy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:18:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
maybe "tech support" was your teacher and he made an excuse for not knowing how to change it himself
possible_epileptic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:02:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
used to work IT, I would say this if I didn't want to do it or the next scheduled norton ghost OS reload was coming up and it wasn't worth the time
TheDiddler69710 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:28:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Said it" for "set it", that's a new one.
ScorchingBullet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just saw that, lol.
EatMaCookies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:33:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In High School a friend and I would do this, but we would click the window icon (Start), go to programs and highlight a random one, then print screen, copy to paint and set that as the background. It would mess with people and make some mad, but apart from that it was harmless.
Windows XP back then.
FaithIsToBeAwake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Very relevant youtube poop https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXVhOPiM4mk
Killa-Byte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Looking for the background:
"Hey, the hills and clouds isn't what it was before"
legendofzeldaro1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We used to do this in my game design class in high school, but instead of wallpaper changing, we would rotate the monitor's orientation with ctrl+alt+<>
Blackop778 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got kicked out of my school library 2 years ago for copying and pasting a chrome shortcut all over the desktop because it was "damaging the computer"
ThirdRook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its tech support not tech fix you nut.
peenegobb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for that f5 trick, but really? Their tech team must be potatoes... That's the simplest thing to do..
Tromboneofsteel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did a similar thing... I set the windows bluescreen as the background in CAD. The teacher freaked the hell out.
TheBestOpinion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:54:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Smart move from tech support. They loved the prank, so they found a way to get you in trouble and keep the hot dogs.
ZabriskieP0int ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:25:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did something similar at my school. I took a screenshot of the desktop, set it as background, hid icons and toolbar. Next day I had detention because IT guy couldn't figure it out. Said I broke it. I fixed it in like 5 seconds and he was pissed.
Ujustgotjamed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In Year 7, I reached over to my friends computer while he wasn't looking and click Ctrl+Alt+Down, when he looked back he was so confused, the teacher called over the IT guy, and he clicked around for a minute, changed the refresh rate(?) and left for a min
While he was gone I quickly changed it back, and when he came back he acted like he was a genius, and told the teacher some jargon and when on his way.
I was so tempted to turn it back to embarrass him, but everyone saw me fix it so I decided not to
DoxBox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would not have held back on that one, not one bit.
"You mean to tell me that you got a job doing tech support for the school and you don't know how to change a goddamn desktop background? What business did you think you had applying for that?"
ArosHD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about your school but in my high school the tech support people just do basic stuff like setting up accounts and that's actually all I think of. I don't think they do anything else. I know one person tried to fix a printer once but couldn't.
The school has a contract with an outside company which comes in to setup and do actual tech support like setting up the servers and fixing things and upgrading stuff.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If it's anything like my home town, it was a government job that hired someone's brother in law that had a cert from like ten years earlier.
lostintexasmama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Honestly, I don't think it is that uncommon to have people working tech support in s school that are not tech savvy. Last year, a teacher could not get her computer to work at the beginning of the school year. She called for our on campus technology teacher. The tech teacher could not help her either. They sent out for a district level tech support. Turns out, the computer was not plugged in. Shouldn't that have been the first thing checked? Smh
Popo5525 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Story time! Back in highschool, I enrolled in the local vocational program, in a computer repair class, and then two years of a networking class. Finished with computer repair, and on to my first year of networking. Well, both years' classes of networking (juniors and seniors) were held in the same room, with the same teacher and everything.
So there I was, one Junior of a handful, among a handful of Seniors who had already completed more schooling than I. And one day, we come in, and one of the computers in the lab was acting up. The screen showed the desktop and all the icons, even the start menu, but clicking did absolutely nothing. I didn't pay much attention to this, I just started working on the lesson and figured the seniors could get it sorted out, if not the teacher.
Fast forward twenty or so minutes of back and forth among the teacher and seniors, and I tuned back in to the conversation. They still couldn't fix it, and they had tried "everything". The computer repair teacher had even taken a look at it. Our teacher was getting ready to call the district's tech guy. I had a lightbulb moment, walked over to the trouble PC, and fixed it in under a minute.
The problem? Someone(one of the seniors) had taken a screenshot of the desktop, icons and all, set that as the background, then unchecked "show desktop icons" on the desktop. So the icons were there, but since they were part of the background, they weren't really "there". So I just undid that.
My fellow juniors couldn't figure it out. The seniors couldn't figure it out. The teachers couldn't figure it out. But I did.
JokeDeity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
School tech support, like school gun teachers, and school librarians rarely have the background for their positions.
Brandeix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The IT department probably had better things to do. It's a picture of a hotdog man.
S_S_Phil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In secondary school one of the techs walked in as I was plugging in a "broken" monitor (Power cable was slightly loose) and started having a go at me about the fact that "It's broken", and "I shouldn't be touching it if I don't know what I'm doing". I switched it on and enjoyed the irony.
Rejusu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:05:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Windows used to have (may still have it, but this was back in XP days) a feature where you could embed web content on to the desktop. But you could also use it for images. And if you used an image the same size as the desktop it looked like you'd just changed the wallpaper. Only if you tried to change the wallpaper nothing would happen. It would catch people that generally knew their way around a computer off guard because it was a fairly obscure feature buried in some options somewhere. Made for a great prank.
RADAC10US ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once had to help an IT guy at my high school. The mouse wasn't working on one of the computers and he spend like ten minutes trying to fix it before saying, "looks like we're gonna have to replace this computer." I asked to take a look and instantly notice the USB going to the mouse was unplugged.
Nulono ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:46 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What does F5 do?
akai_ferret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:15 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
At the college where I work we've got a problem with departments having some random person they hired to be like their technology equipment wrangler or something.
The professors all know this person since they're in the same department, so they call this person for their tech support instead of ever calling the actual IT support center.
This person is always borderline computer illiterate and just makes things worse.
(yet they're paid more than our actual techs and have their own office)
By the time actual IT technicians find out about this shit the problem is a week old at least, and further screwed up with whatever sort of jerry-rigged stop gap solution their in house dufus came up with.
Luvs_to_drink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:16 on August 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
schools dont pay bottom tech support a lot. I went to the biggest college in my state and they pay maybe $10/hr. But you make up for the shitty pay by getting experience and a FLEXIBLE schedule.
bss03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:53 on October 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I'll bet the tech. support person could have fixed it, but thought it was "funny" to leave it in place.
You'd be surprised (...or maybe you wouldn't after this thread) what people will believe we can't fix.
Deadbath ยท 419 points ยท Posted at 22:04:21 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"My Google isn't working! Look, when I search for 'oak tree wallpapers', nothing appears!"
Grandma, you're on the App Store...
Enriquehotpantz ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 05:15:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Last week my mum asked me to fix her Google because it was gone off her phone. Basically she somehow deleted tne Google shortcut off her safari app on her iPhone. I asked her if she knew that you could just search Google from the address bar. She said : "Yes, but I like to click on Google and then type it into Google directly. That's how I've always done it."
I told it was like seeing the door you want to go through is standing open, then walking up to it, closing the door, then opening it up again to walk through the door way.
Horatiu_Bodnarescu ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:34:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But WHY have you bought Grandma an iPhone? Why not some cheaper Android phone? Why do people default to an iPhone when they want to buy a smartphone?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:24:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
iPhones are easier to use and more common than any particular Android phone.
Deadbath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, ask my grandma.
SmileyGuy123 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:33:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i just looked up "oak tree walpapers" :D
jimjim1992 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:14:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why, but I loled at "my google"
wabojabo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:46:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The what?
Deadbath ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:41:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grandma, you're usually too cautious to to comment on family Facebook posts in fear that someone will get your bank account details... How on earth are you commenting on Reddit??
RiotShields ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:54:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would have said something witty about Google running the App Store, but I realized Google runs the Play Store, so only Apple and Microsoft run App Stores.
Carry on.
GoldXP ยท 487 points ยท Posted at 22:40:13 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I took a graphic design in high school. I was finishing my very, very shitty CSS in Dreamweaver. I don't know if it still has it, but Dreamweaver had a tab where you can switch between how the website looks in code-like format and how it would look to people who visit your site. So finished my work and I guess I forgot to close Dreamweaver and I left it on the code-format tab.
The next day, I had to explain to the principal what that was. Apparently the "tech" (who was a guy in his 70s) found my "hacking script". She let me go when I explained to her what Dreamweaver and CSS are. I don't know where the guy got the term "hacking script" from.
[deleted] ยท 291 points ยท Posted at 01:52:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
illonlyusethisonceok ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 02:51:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got asked if I was hacking when I had a PHP file opened in notepad++
tesseract4 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 03:39:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Blame the movies.
fantabularistical ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 04:19:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/itsaunixsystem
anormalgeek ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:06:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But I'd you're really hacking, then where are the flying blocks of code and animated viruses?
GrayOctopus ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 05:10:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mate, I changed my background in VS to black and I was asked if i was a hacker.
ScribbleMonster ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 09:51:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You! Yes, you walking down the hallway! Are you breaking into the building?"
HighRelevancy ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:21:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Literally got asked if I was hacking when I was typing class notes in nano.
Like, not even vim. Nano.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:30:28 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now I honestly wonder what people would have said this past Summer semester if they'd seen me typing my class notes in LaTeX using vim.
lordwafflesbane ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:44:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I ask the cs guys that just because I know it annoys them.
SosX ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:56:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Except for the few times they are actually trying to hack
admin-throw ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:02:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
box model
Frozen5147 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:04:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate how movies end up teaching people that flying Courier font text is hacking.
So many scammers use tree commands to scare people into thinking their computers have problems.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:00 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Joke's on them, I use Source Code Pro to fly under the radar.
dramboxf ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:30:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got accused of "breaking" or "hijacking" a customer's Mac when I opened a terminal window to run ifconfig just because I find it faster than navigating through OSX's Network applet.
maffoobristol ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:31:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should install cmatrix, it makes for wonderful faces when you do it whilst travelling on a train.
Vervy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:39:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://geektyper.com/
jason6253 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:00:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[COLOR 0A INTENSIFIES]
happythoughts413 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:30:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Granted, when I use Terminal to restart the dock on my Macbook, I absolutely feel like a TV hacker.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:09:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Change the Terminal color scheme to Homebrew and even changing directories makes you look like someone not to be messed with. Even my other comp sci friends who are way ahead of me are impressed by this. I feel like Riley Poole on National Treasure.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:25 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I use zsh with the bullet-train theme in Guake.
No one seems to care but me. :(
And I'm ok with that.
Cobbleking32486 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:40:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this happens to me too, but hackertyper.com in fullscreen never seems to work.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:19 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
During high school, my dad once yelled at me to "stop playing that damn game."
Wasn't a problem, because I was typing HTML into Notepad.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:31:40 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:05 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I probably started up Half-Life later and then stopped, so eventually yes.
Wisdomlost ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 11:51:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you 4chan?
cinnapear ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:20:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nowadays you can open up the Developer Tools window and live-edit the local copy of a web page. This blows people's minds.
Destroyer_101 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:06:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Used dream weaver recently, it is called split.
jondivision ยท 106 points ยท Posted at 23:56:11 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One day a new coworker was complaining how her computer was SO slow so I took a look. She had the Outlook program running about 70 times! Apparently every time she received an email notification she would go to her desktop and double click the Outlook icon to relaunch the program. She also didn't understand that minimizing a window or program didn't actually quit the program. So she had hundreds of explorer windows along with multiple instances of software minimized to her Toolbar.
candybomberz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:17:06 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, she was way ahead of her time. Today a lot of programs allow only one instance to run and bring the old one to the front if you double click the icon. Others ignore you or tell you that you can't open it twice.
Also it's confusing that the desktop and quickbar icons do different things.
salt_licker_210 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:39 on January 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I cannot cope with this
TheLiberatedMan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:00:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's just bad design by Microsoft.
95DarkFire ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:00:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It worked for millions of people except for her, but it can't be her fault?
Lesp00n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, works for millions of people, but also doesn't work hundreds of users like her. It's a user issue, not an app/OS issue.
korbowicz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:30:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's just bad use of sarcasm
TheLiberatedMan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:13:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, just crappy design. Wouldn't happen on a Mac.
SaggiSponge ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:50:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
S.. Still sarcasm?
Lesp00n ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:24:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Except I'm pretty sure I can still open dozens of seperate Safari or Outlook windows on a Mac. This is a matter of PEBKAC, don't try to make it a Mac vs PC issue. Even this Apple user isn't on your side.
The_Bhelliom ยท 215 points ยท Posted at 21:20:20 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A girl holding a mouse in the air and vaguely wiggling it from side to side, being encouraged when the cursor twitched a little bit on screen then shaking it furiously to try make it go where she wanted it.
๐๏ธ MrJoeSchmo ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:40:44 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I really really want this not to be true. But based on stuff I've seen it probably is.
The_Bhelliom ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:43:31 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair it was the mid-ninties, the mouse ball WAS jiggling around a bit and she was fairly young.
2059FF ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:11:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Intermittent positive reinforcement is the best kind of reinforcement.
NotDido ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:39:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant xkcd
karmagirl314 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I read this I pictured a live mouse instead of a computer mouse.
candybomberz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:58 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mabye it wasn't behaving like she wanted and tryed to shake away the dirt ? Like litterally if you have no mouse pad this is quite common or in the days of those ball mouses.
I_really_just_cant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:08 on August 29, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hello computer
InsaneLazyGamer ยท 213 points ยท Posted at 22:55:55 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"if you click more times it will open faster"
truckbutt ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:45:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This just reminds me of the slightly too slow "double" click. And then they just keep clicking, slowly, and claim the computer is broken.
christian-mann ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:09:16 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
sqrtnegative1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:06:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This. Definitely this. It's incredible how some people don't grasp the concept of "waiting for it to load", considering this is something that happens almost ALL THE TIME.
craneguy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:18:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, same as with elevator call buttons.
pyrusbrawler64 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:07:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you hit the button harder it does more damage.
legosail ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:07:16 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Triggered
GoldenWizard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is this not true?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:45:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course not. It will just try to open it many times slowing down tremendously
Killa-Byte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That just makes it slower, because if it's slow, it's probably got of shit queue'd up, and adding to the queue is not gonna help.
username-valid ยท 1277 points ยท Posted at 19:15:05 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Typing google.com into the Google search engine.
Jesus-chan ยท 742 points ยท Posted at 19:30:56 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This guy I knew built his computer from scratch, triple monitors, top of the line graphics card, liquid cooled CPU. He does this, and when I asked, he said something like "this is how I've always done it." Is it really so hard to skip that step?
footyDude ยท 488 points ยท Posted at 20:03:52 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's hard to form a new habit for something you've done for a long time, even if it's inefficient (especially if the inefficiency has no negative impact on your life).
I know I'm guilty of still going to google to search for things, even though i can search google directly from the address bar.
AFakePlasticMe ยท 193 points ยท Posted at 21:12:59 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel the autofill works better not in the address bar. I also use it out of habit when I cant spell things.
NIGERIAN_PRINCE_AMA ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 22:38:02 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have the habbit aswell, but when you use chrome it takes up no time at all since you literally just type "g" and then press enter. I do it before I can even think of what im doing
Insane_Rogue_AI ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 22:59:10 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got it
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:26:45 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Often, I type "gma" without thinking about it to open gmail, but it isn't saved so it searches gma
TheAdmiester ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:37:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's worse with Hotmail lol. I'll sometimes type the first two letters and press enter, only to realise the autofill didn't quite happen yet and I've now just Google searched "ho"
Solaire-Of_Astora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That'd because gmail is mail.google.com
The6P4C ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:18:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
gmail.com works too
Solaire-Of_Astora ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:42:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Huh... TIL
Cisco_Kid ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:16:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Except when it doesn't load fast enough and you just google search 'g' or 'f' instead of Facebook
bleunoi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know you don't have to press g?
Edit: Thought you meant to search. Guess you have the Google habit too.
HopefulSandpiper ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:02:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with you. But it did drive me crazy when my ex would open up a new tab and type double you double you double you dot google dot com. Like dude, just press g and hit enter. You're not seventy years old.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:33:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That depends entirely on how often you actually use Google. It takes me to GoodReads. Continuing to type won't help until you're halfway there already. If you don't do web searches very often (and if you already know which website has what you're looking for, there's no reason to), it might take more time to look for google among the suggestions than to just type out the whole thing. Especially since muscle memory can let you type certain things very quickly.
HopefulSandpiper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's fair, and a good point!
Donutsareagirlsbff ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:45:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've gotten so lazy with my typing as auto correct and auto fill has evolved. I'm very good with my spelling apart from the few hiccups but when it comes time to type something in word now I have to take a second to realign my fingers to proper typing posture otherwise my hands will do what they want.
Odin_69 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:22:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have google set to my homepage, with a google search bar next to my address bar. I like to think I'm just trying to make sure I always have an efficient way to knowledge.
Scyrothe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:25 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do it if I'm looking for something, but I'm not sure exactly what to search. Autofill heavily favors websites you've visited and previous searches, so if I actually want to use autofill to help find something I go to the google search page.
Huwbacca ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:57:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Auto fill can eat a dick. I write one word, it suggests five others, because I only needed that one word I hit enter and search "how to guide ships into port during a storm" rather than "how to guide"
therealkainoa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:33:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its literally the same if you use chrome
rogue_giant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you spell the word incorrectly (at least on chrome) highlight the word and right click. It usually brings up the right spelling along with words that are similarly spelled.
tjeco ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:42:06 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol I though I was the only one!
SazzeTF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:28:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We were given MacBooks at the start of high school for our studies and my friend, who I had every single class with and we always sat with eachother, did this every single time. I tried to explain to him for 3 years that the adress bar doubles as Google Search. He still does it.
steveofthejungle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:56:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason I learned that it's fast if you type a slash after a web address, so I've always done that, even though now I know it may not be true or it doesn't really matter with fast internet
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Hell, I use Google as my homepage. Partly because of old habits (it's been a gateway of sorts to the Internet for ages), but also because it's a neutral site that would cause no issue if someone walked by and saw it appear.
My email inbox, Facebook page, conspiracy forum I post on sometimes - none of those are ideal. I guess I could use Reddit, but I always access Reddit directly by typing in the sub rather than via home page. In fact, I never see my home page.
SazzeTF ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:30:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like to live dangerously and have the option "start where I left" on.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:34 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just use a blank page. I can start searching for something from the serachbar if I want to, or open one of the bookmarks on my bookmarks bar (reddit, facebook, tumblr, outlook, etc).
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:32:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When someone pointed out to me that middle-clicking a link opens it in a new tab it took a while for me to remember it. I was so used to right-clicking and selecting "open in new tab."
PigletCNC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:51:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same here, I guess because we are used to going to google first from the early days where that was still a thing.
Don't do it as much now but I regularly did it until a few years ago.
shelf_satisfied ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:37:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, my girlfriend always clicks on the camera app on her iPhone to get to her photos, instead of just clicking on photos directly. She understands she's doing it wrong and always tells me to "shut up" as she does it in front of me, even if I haven't said a word about it.
link6112 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:06:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've searched for Google once or twice after having a brain fart. It happens.
Siphyre ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:11:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
footyDude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the one - see I can't even let go of the old name for it!
idreamofdinos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:25:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's why it was so hard for me to break the habit of doing the whole caps lock for one letter thing instead of using shift. I still catch myself doing it on rare occasion.
alexmitchell1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:49:23 on September 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I sometimes, when I only have one new tab open, will open another new tab, close the old one, and then search.
Superplex123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:30:13 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only if certain conditions are met, such as you are using chrome. My friend tried this on my computer and it didn't work. It was firefox and my default search is wiki.
THAT'S why I don't bother changing my habit. That and my paranoia about going to phishing site. I try typing as little as possible in my address bar.
dal_segno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same, I'll occasionally google google at home because work hard-locks us into bing, so I've gotten into the habit of binging google.
..that's a very weird sentence.
gisquestions ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 20:03:36 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It might actually be hard if you're straight up retarded though.
mrphycowitz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:54:56 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm that guy unfortunately. Old habits from old browsers. I've been doing it less and less over time though.
Nubcake_Jake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:05:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What if you wanted to go to your Google plus page, so you type in the omni-bar google.com.
Check-mate reddit
zibwefuh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:13:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is me atm. I did it on firefox because for some reason it defaulted my searches to yahoo and i didnt feel like changing it, and now that I'm chrome the habit has stuck. I do it correctly on my phone tho
Jeh-vasVanquisher ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:35:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do it cause I don't want my search results coming up on the top bar
box_of_hornets ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:40:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Computer nerd here. There are times (read: edge cases) when you want to use the actual Google page so it becomes habit to always do it that way. For example if you want to search a URL you have to go to the page, otherwise it just goes to the site
joewith ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:12:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ctrl-k
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:02:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always hate when people type www. And or https://
At least they know it
h0rnman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:22:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, some Google use cases don't work so well from the address bar (calculator functions, intitle: searches, etc). I use those often enough that I'm conditioned to go to Google.com instead of using the address bar.
Donutsareagirlsbff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do this and while I'm not IT I'm in graphic design so I know my way around my Mac really well but I prefer to be on googles homepage when I start a search. It makes no sense really to not skip that step but call me crazy, it just feels like a better space to search from.
gnorty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that was me until fairly recently. I had no idea you could do that until I saw somebody mention it on reddit.
The fact that google.com even has a window you can type into suggests that myself and your guy are by no means the only people who do/did this.
legendofzeldaro1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up in a house where my parents only used Yahoo. Because I didn't have a computer of my own, that was how I had to get to Google. When I finally got my own rig, it took a while to break that habit, even with Chrome installed.
whereis_God ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hardware and software are different fields. He isn't up to date with how browsers have evolved. It makes sense to. And you sound illiterate for making that comparison.
green_meklar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I skip the step of even going to the Google landing page at all. I have my own handcoded homepage with a Google search bar built right into it.
flubba86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:33:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I type "Google Image Search" into google to get to Image Search.
I know I can click on the "Images" link, or I can type in images.google.com in the URL bar. But I still do it that way.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cargo cult.
Hateborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:20:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once it's been typed in the address bar a couple times, it's stored - it is such a short step that he isn't really wasting time doing it, so no harm done in it. Hell, I do it because while I use Chrome at home, my work has us locked on IE and typing in the address bar on IE goes to Bing, not Google. It's habit, not ignorance, for many people.
kebab4you ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Um, that description fit me to a T. Built compute from scratch with top of the line (at the time, gtx 770*2) graphics card and cooled it with a custom built loop. Also bought three new monitors for my set-up and my excuse for searching that way is that's how I've always done it.
If it weren't for you being American I would've sworn you were a friend of mine.
headpool182 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I type Google.com into the chrome address bar. People ask me why don't I just search. Two reasons, I'm still getting used to chrome, and I like the doodles.
-Alimorel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like when teachers type out "http//:www." before entering an address. It's totally redundant, but it's fucking habit :/
SampleText-- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
By scratch, do you mean, he built the gpu from scratch, or did he just get the parts and built it with all parts completely made?
_Keldt_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend built a PC, has a 980ti, a TV hooked up to his computer instead of a monitor, got a Vive and uses it. Set everything up himself, etc.
I go over to his house to try his Vive, because I don't have one. He types "google.com" into Chrome's URL/search bar to get to Google, min order to search something. I'm about to say something, when he says "I know, you can just type your search into the URL bar. I don't know why I do this every time."
Habits are weird.
bimbobimbo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:59 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just like searching from the google home page sometimes
blindgynaecologist ยท 227 points ยท Posted at 20:06:23 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my professor does that except he Bings Google
Wiseguy72 ยท 460 points ยท Posted at 20:07:56 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
better than googling Bing.
zer0w0rries ยท 133 points ยท Posted at 20:37:44 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Using Bing on Google incognito is the cyber version of playing god.
SDBJJ ยท 245 points ยท Posted at 22:36:09 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's only 1 reason you'd be going to bing via google incognito
IdealisticParrot ยท 277 points ยท Posted at 23:07:41 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Buying anonymous presents for coworkers.
DrAbra ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:11:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Clever girl . . .
MasturbatoryPillow ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:44:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bingo
DrunkAndRetarded ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:54:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well... Kind of...
Griitt ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:01:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or porn
KommandCBZhi ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:44:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe OP is buying porn for his coworkers.
Hateborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:23:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who the hell buys porn anymore?
Splodgerydoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:57:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Silly, nobody goes on the internet for porn
jackjack012 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:06:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who's porn?
FaTALiNFeRN0 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Umm. That's a euphemism, right?
shinobigamingyt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:15:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Idk why everyone uses bing for porn...and I do too...
DontcarexX ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:31:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because you can watch videos while staying on Bing. Google also doesn't let me search for porn for some reason
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SDBJJ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:21:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
I_Bin_Painting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
ANUSTART942 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why it's so much better for that, but it just is.
alt213 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've only ever used Bing incognito.
[deleted] ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 20:23:12 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Kangaroopower ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:30:02 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tell Verizon that
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:33:35 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
tobias_palam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:14:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That burn was so good, my dad's mixtape caught fire!
PrashnaChinha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ya', who?
Jezell38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:47:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yahoo is only good for email.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:54:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yahoo uses bing search engine
Jesus-chan ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:25:47 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
them bing rewards
Netrilix ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:32:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do this all the time. I use Bing Rewards, so I search there to try to earn credits. But if I can't find an answer on Bing, I search "google" to let them know they failed.
drunkangel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:51:52 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boss at least once binged Google, and then googled the website address she was going to visit.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:23:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Searching with Bing gets you points that eventually get you gift cards. I do that too because I get points and then get better search results on Google.
Professors make shit if they're not tenured.
thatJainaGirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:53:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I intentionally Bing Google because I know Microsoft can see what people are searching on Bing and I want them to know what they've done.
TantumErgo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:48:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do that because my work computer always defaults to Bing as the homepage or suggestions if I miss a letter in a URL, and won't let me set up Google for anything. So I always search for Google, which makes Bing bring up a hurt little message about how it can search for stuff too.
TrueMrSkeltal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:20:37 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually acceptable.
Eddie_Hitler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work with a guy who would open up Bing and search for "google maps". Every single time.
He never memorised maps.google.com, he never added Google Maps to his Bookmarks/Favourites, he never tried Bing Maps.
FireHawkDelta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I occasionally do this just as an insult to Bing.
jelvinjs7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My teacher once opened up google chrome and used yahoo to search for youtube.
This was my web design teacher.
Husky117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
god i remember in IST at school she made us use dogpile...ugh
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this, and even as I'm doing it I'm like, "What the fuck am I doing?"
hicow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guy I used to work with would Bing Google to Google Youtube. Every time he went to Youtube.
DragonTamerMCT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:39:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean over time it pays you. Literally, Bing pays you.
Denascite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:25:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gonna copy something I posted somewhere else in here:
Teacher using bing (a student chose it as the standard), he searched for google, had the results but did not click on google.com and then searches something while still using bing. He was my IT teacher
EdgarTFriendly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do that myself, deliberately.
I know they must record it somewhere and, on some infinitely small level, it feels like a "fuck you" to Microsoft and their shitty search engine
stealth9799 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:32 on August 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is acceptable
Super_Zac ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 21:31:31 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend does this because she doesn't like having search history suggestions pop up under the bar in Safari.
Obviously she's pretty amazing in every other way that I put up with this blasphemy.
SinkTube ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can't she just turn off history suggestion?
PM_ME_CAKE ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:52:20 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't do it, guys! I have it on good authority that searching Google into Google will break the internet!
WhatWouldSatanDo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:08:26 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did the CPU explode?
InfanticideAquifer ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:03:34 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do that to see if the other website is down or if my whole connection is down. Either that or zombo.com, but google is probably more reliable.
LightBadger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always avoid google for testing the connexion. On the one hand it's probably the most reliable site, but if you're using Chrome it can cause issues. For example if your connexion isn't working because you need to sign in to a public network, the type that redirects you from whatever page you try to reach, then Chrome will refuse to load the page because it thinks it's a malicious site impersonating Google.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
LightBadger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Huh. I remember my phone autocorrecting that but I didn't check what it autocorrected it to. Not sure where it got connexion from...
Ryudius ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:15:23 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually just do this because of the auto fill thing being really annoying
Duke726 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:00:49 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm almost that guy. 2 monitors and no liquid cooling.
Anyways I only type websites into the address bar that way when I just want to go to a website I can type G for google or F for facebook, things like that. When I search things, I go to google.ca and search them there, that way if I ever need to find it again after a couple days, the autofill has it.
Tl;dr: web addresses in address bar and google searches on google.ca to keep everything organized and efficient.
Devanismyname ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:05:33 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this
tallquasi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:16:58 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once saw a guy with a desktop shortcut to a bing search for Google.
riftrender ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:17:48 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually did this for a long time on Chrome. I did not realize that you could google directly from it until you saw someone else do it. And I'm usually not illiterate with tech.
minotaurbranch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:00:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because of the slight delay, the most common google search on my phone is "Okay Google."
haphazardmalady ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:26:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guilty.
I also will open a new tab and type google.com into the address bar, even though I know 100% for a fact that anything I type into the address bar that isn't a website will be googled. But that's less my own stupidity, and more of 13 years of muscle habit, I guess.
andreasdagen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:48 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do this on google chrome when I want to search for places that have linked or discussed a url
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:57 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yeah i did that before. lol accidentally ofcourse
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom constantly bings "Google.com"
awesomeness0232 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad and 18 year old brother both do this. I was standing over my brother helping him with something online yesterday and he went up to the search bar and typed "Google.com". My response was essentially "what the fuck are you doing?"
Imtheprofessordammit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once watched a student do this. He then proceeded to type the name of the school into the search engine, then use that to get to the school email.
shadyinternets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
guys, this usually happens due to there being an address bar AND a search bar that defaults to whatever engine you tell it to or that it came set as.
the address bar can also act as a search engine.
people are trying to search google.com, they are trying to go to google.com by unknowingly typing it into the search box.
its really not that dumb if youre just not paying attention or unaware that there are 2 boxes that are technically different.
now if you pull up google then search google.com that is different and you are an idiot. most are just using search bar. i work in paid search and this is far from the dumbest shit i see.
emilizabify ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Agh. The receptionist at my job does this!
CP1228 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Google.
Google.com.
Google.com website.
Finally.
steerpike88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
sigh I was always doing this on my new phone. I kept forgetting that the search engine was Google.
Inthe_shadows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least no www.
Lobanium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My sister types "www.gmail.com" into Google to get to Gmail.
Gneissisnice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend's sister will try to long into Castle Learning to do her homework sometimes. She usually goes to the search bar, searches "google", gets to google, and then searches "castle learning".
I keep telling her that she can just type in "castlelearning.com" to save herself a bunch of steps, but every single time she does it this way. Drives me insane.
And she's a teenager. She's supposed to be good at technology.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My IT guy did this while he was remoted in to my computer, then chastised me for not having a search engine bookmarked.
theinternethero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Type Google.com into the Google search bar, then search for yahoo. Copy and paste into the browser bar, search for YouTube. Then search YouTube for the video. Find video. Click on it but leave the mouse in an awkward spot and the volume at a weird level. Once it is over hit the X button but then "cancel" because every time you hit a link you opened a new tab and you're confused as to what closing all of them would mean... Eventually figure out that yes, hitting the X button will close out of everything and that is what you want. Then spend about 5min figuring out how to resume the PowerPoint from the current slide. This happens in every class and I silently suffer every time.
braisin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my God, Jerry! When you check your email, you go to AltaVista and type 'please go to yahoo.com'?!
Killa-Byte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"DAMMIT I WANNA GO TO GOOGLE I WAS JUST HERE"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A teacher I once had went and searched for Google, clicked on it and then went to google.com because they did not recognize the Google doodle and then they typed "you tube" clicked it and searched for a video.
NotoriousRetard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A customer did that at my store yesterday. We have an online survey that gives you a 15% off coupon every month and he literally got on his phone, opened up google and typed in google.com, then gave me the phone so I could spell the word planet. His last 3 searches were all porn sites and he didnt know how to fill out the info asking about himself (name, dob, email). That was a long morning
Ultra_Violet_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ironically my ex who worked in IT did this, and refused to acknowledge how backwards it was.
z500 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my God, Jerry? When you check your email, you go to AltaVista and type "please go to yahoo.com"?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do this with chromes search bar help me
ADJinfamy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok I literally did this yesterday after work and being exhausted. Immediately realized it and felt like a complete fucking idiot.
kjacka19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guilty of this. It's more out of habit than anything.
ThirdRook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad clicks a toolbar button that links to bing and then searches through there.
Arancaytar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This breaks the internet.
Lowbacca1977 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm getting fairly annoyed that Chrome is getting pesky when I go to google.com, as I do that to check internet connection and it's trying to dissuade me from that
aaronhowser1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One time the guy that sat next to me in one of my classes typed Google into the search bar on Google.com, opened Google, googled Google Classroom, and clicked that. I was stunned
tradingten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually the no1 search on google..
MarcelRED147 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:15:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That breaks the internet!1! The madman, he could have doomed us all!!one!
TheOnlyMrMatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:23:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds of a post a while ago from some guy who let his dad use his laptop one night...
He checked his history the next day and found his dad had typed www.Google.com into Google. Then typed Porn into Google. Clicked on the first page that came up (think it was pornhub), then typed 'porn'... Into pornhub...
crockid5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always type google.com into my chrome omnibox. Am I stupid? :(
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:59:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TBF I do this sometimes, but that's because the address bar searches I'm feeling lucky so I just go straight to most things. If I wanna scroll through search results I have to go to google's page, proper. So I google google, it takes me to the proper search thingy that doesn't just bang to the first hit, then I search for whatever. If I'm looking for pics I'll search ''google images'', then search my thing in google images so I get a list. If I just put the search terms for the image in it'll take me to whatever's first and that's usually wrong.
insane_troll_logic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:28:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Watched my sister type in the URL for google to search for "imdb.com." She is not that old either. She is only 33.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:33:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Careful we don't want to break the internet...
Henkersjunge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:11:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I sometimes manage to type google into google, stare at what i just did, think of what i actually wanted to do and turn off brain auto-pilot.
I-Made-You-Read-This ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:45:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, my company uses windows explorer by default. Bing is the search engine on there, and we all know how far I'd get using that. So I search google since typing google.com is too long :P
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:38:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bet those google in to google searches went up 600 fold when chrome was put on cell phones.
domestic_omnom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
open browser
search for google
google "gmail"
log into gmail
search for google in search bar
now I'm logged into google, and can search my searches.
SwedishBoatlover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My former boss would open up bing search, then search for Google, then click the result.
mickeyxz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma Yahoo! searches for Google then Google searches for Facebook.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:09:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You need the "https://www." before google.com for it to work.
[deleted] ยท 102 points ยท Posted at 21:02:54 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Co-worker freaked out and immediately grabbed the phone to call IT just because IE threw a "IE is not your default browser" dialog box.
EDIT: Also the co-worker who'd manually look through a table with about 2000 randomly-ordered entries to match up an asset number with a location. She did this every time. Thank goodness this kind of task only came up once every few days.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:54 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd imagine teaching her to use SQL JOINs is probably waaay out of the question.
Or whatever Excel's version would be. VLOOKUP and MATCH?
Knowbody42 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:41:58 on November 14, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ctrl + F
e_to_the_i_pi ยท 184 points ยท Posted at 22:00:20 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother in law signed up for two separate gmail accounts - one so she could check her email at home, and the second so she could check it at work.
Superplex123 ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 23:52:09 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So close to being a smart move.
locks_are_paranoid ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 02:19:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If only Hillary Clinton did the same thing.
121PB4Y2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:05:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No because that still requires TWO BlackBerries.
ParticleCannon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:06:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe she anticipated getting mail that, ahem, shouldn't be opened at work? Or she remembers when Gmail was invite only and wanted to grab as many addresses as she could.
e_to_the_i_pi ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:09:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are giving her far, far too much credit.
Charliesperanza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I literally just face palmed ๐
FrankNgo ยท 265 points ยท Posted at 23:06:32 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a job where I grab expensive tech from a stock room to hand to people. The stuff in here is like RAM memory tablets processors that kind stuff. I was watching a co-worker do an order before I start my shift. An order comes in for an i7 processor and they immediately go look in the apple section because they saw the "i". They spend the next ten minutes looking through every apple product for an i7 chip.
skrilly01 ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 23:09:10 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A little part of me died when I read this
Kael_Alduin ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 01:46:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No, they want something badass. Not something made of ass"
hicow ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:28:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Does the name of the place you work at rhyme with 'Lies', by chance?
roscoetehclam ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:42:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone was working the cage
Mahboishk ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:49:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess you could pry open a Mac and get one that way.
Im-Currently-Working ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:24:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it is very close to Apple's processor, the A7. Of course they don't sell those to consumers.
Coffeezilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:00:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda like the high value cage at an Amazon warehouse?
SteveTheMacGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pffft. Memory IS RAM! Oh dear!
noramiamillenial ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 02:39:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's RAM memory tablets processors?
You should open an IT ticket for the broken comma key on your keyboard.
pillowgrinder ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 09:15:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, but this thread is specifically about computer-illiteracy. Not Illiteracy. you are banned from /r/micromanagement
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:25:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I swear you computer illiterates seem not to have an ounce of logic or deduction.
dexikiix ยท 1116 points ยท Posted at 20:13:52 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In high school we had a power outage and the crt monitors in the library lost their display settings. As I was about to use one, I was fixing the screen with the buttons on the front of the monitor and the librarian walks up behind me "What are you doing?!?"
I'm hacking your hotmail lady what's it look like?
[deleted] ยท 404 points ยท Posted at 01:20:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In our high school library (1979), we got new Apple II computers. Our librarian was terrified of hackers. Mind you, these had no network or storage, only floppies. Anyway, we were only allowed to use the built in BASIC language even though the school had bought a Pascal compiler.
I found out about this because I volunteered in the library. Behind the counter I found the Pascal disks and manuals right next to the manuals that came with the computers. All the manuals were marked FACULTY ONLY, because "students might use them to hack."
She never tumbled to the fact that I was the alpha hacker there for the next three years, with free access due to working behind the counter.
DesertTripper ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 04:18:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hacking was a concern in 1979? I thought the main thing back then was phreaking the long-distance networks to make free calls. I did some of that but didn't really have anybody to talk to via long distance, rendering the point kind of moot.
The_Power_Of_Three ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 05:39:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't Mitnick get locked in solitary or something because they were worried he could hack anything, including NORAD, by whistling into a phone? Fear of hackers had next to zero to do what hackers were actually doing.
0OKM9IJN8UHB7 ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 05:57:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That applies to pretty much everything.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 12:07:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, hacking was a thing. While personal computers were new, "big iron" mainframes were common in banks, universities, etc., and since networking was in its infancy, security was very weak.
dramboxf ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:23:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What used to be called Security Through Obscurity.
dansdata ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:15:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There were about a million phreakers - see, for instance, Exploding The Phone - who were in exactly that position.
(And then... Joybubbles.)
leshake ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 08:53:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother "hacked" his schools only appleIIe back in the day. He went to a super retarded parochial school and the librarian was a massive bitch. One day while she was out he installed a program to make a loud set of beeps at a random time between 0 and 2 hours. It drove her nuts for months.
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 12:15:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
The librarian above hated games. Nothing brought her in faster than the bleeps and bloops of a game, and the Apple ii inly had one volume level - loud. So, I wrote a program to reroute all speaker output to the cassette port, and made a headphone adapter to plug into the cassette jack. Problem solved.
EDIT: For those who messaged, the program did not reroute directly, it scanned game files looking for the instruction that kicked the speaker pin and changed the destination so that it kicked the cassette pin. The edits would be made on disk. This worked for most games except those with checksums/etc, but for those (eg Choplifter and Apple Panic) we'd just open the machine and pull the speaker line. More risk of getting caught, though.
dramboxf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:24:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhhhhhh Apple ][+ Choplifter....man that brings back memories.
maurocen ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:53:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, my school still teaches PASCAL, they say it's an easy language to learn, but still... And I'm talking engineering school.
ReactorofR ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 06:34:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
While PASCAL isn't a complete waste of time, it's pretty close.
For your own sake pick up a book on python.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 12:21:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
To be fair, Pascal was designed as an educational language, not intended for real production work. It can do stuff that BASIC can't, reinforces good coding habits and such, but is easier than something like Fortran.
Keep in mind, C was new, the alternatives were worse: Cobol, RPG, PL/1 and the like. Languages like Perl, Python, java etc were not around yet, and Ada was too big for PCs.
EDIT: C was around, but was not popular outside of UNIX systems (read: microcomputers) until later. Ada came out in 1980.
dramboxf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:26:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually started learning LISP on an Apple ][. RPN almost broke my 13yo brain.
But, when I went pro, I worked for two years for a company that had written an entire commercial pharmacy software package in P-system Pascal. And this was...hm....1994 or so. MY job was to port it from Pascal to a new language called Clarion.
Anyone remember Clarion? God, I miss it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:48:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Clarion? Decent speakers but their car CD changers sucked. :P
dramboxf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Heh. Yeah.
HighRelevancy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:30:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I learned turbo Pascal in like 2009. I think it was actually pretty good. Wasn't much of a move up from qbasic so it was pretty straightforward, but it gave us things like pointers so we could learn more advanced algorithms and concepts.
And yes, we were learning qbasic in 2009ish. No modern languages can give such straightforward access to colors and bleepbloops. Kids don't want to learn real languages, they want colors and bleepbloops.
So yeah, I think ancient languages can be just fine for learning programming. I'm also very strongly of the opinion that languages are irrelevant though. Concepts (general algorithms, flow control, pointers, etc) pretty much transfer between languages. I'm a hardcore Python nut, love my C++, but I still think older platforms are very strong contenders for "best way to get kids into programming".
dramboxf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I taught LOGO on TI 99/4a's. That was to 1st Graders to get them "into" programming.
UsuallyInappropriate ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:26:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL people knew what hackers were in 1979.
dramboxf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:22:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow.
As someone who taught Pascal on the Apple ][+ (which required the 16K language card,) I am trying to think of what you could have possibly hacked. I don't think the I/O library even had hooks for the modem at that point in time! And there was absolutely no access to any kind of LAN let alone WAN (aside from dialup, which I just ruled out...)
Strictly speaking, you could have done more damage with the Applesoft BASIC and some machine language/6502 calls than with Pascal.
We freaked teachers out using Beagle Brothers peek/poke charts. Like, there was a poke that would rotate the text 90 degrees teach time you poked it. So you'd write text on the screen with "I AM IN CONTROL OF THIS COMPUTER" and then:
And let it run and they'd freak the fuck out.
We'd write all these fantastic little Appleosoft programs to do what can only be called "text effects" (like writing a CNN-style "ticker" that ran across the bottom of the screen) and they'd always panic.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:53:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I disassembled Apple DOS in its entirety, (Thanks Beagle Bros!), so there was a lot we could do by modifying DOS and updating the school diskettes. The first hack was to ignore the write protect notch on floppies so that we could format the backside and double our storage, as well as fix those DOS diskette originals.
As I cracked more and more software, I added to my own library of things to do to copy-protect things. A few years later, a college student came to me because her prof had assigned Apple programs (Bachlehor Science Education) primarily so that he would have a nice library of utilities. This pissed her off, so I copy-protected the shit out of her diskette. The program ran during the demos, she got her A, but the prof didn't want to return her disk. Turns out it was because he couldn't steal the program.
That felt good.
dramboxf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:46:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked/taught at a computer camp during the summer, and the director bought me a crack card. THAT fucking thing was AWESOME. Any game that loaded into RAM and didn't need to read/write from the disc during execution I could just take a snapshot of.
Four gigantic shoeboxes full of double-sided 5.25" floppies jammed with games. God, those were the days.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:01:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
It was called the Wildcard. It had an NMI button and RAM to snapshot. There was another tool to offload WildCard onto floppy so that you could easily restore machine state and go.
I knew it well :)
EDIT: I still have those floppies. I donated $$ to my high school years later, and the math teacher told me the Apples were in storage about to be auctioned. He got me one and shipped it to me, which I keep in working order. So yes, I have one of the machines I learned on in high school, over 30 years later. And yes, I have Choplifter :) Broderbund made that floppy a real pain in the ass to copy, though, but it was possible once you figured out what they were doing.
dramboxf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was it!
Please tell me you play Lode Runner late at night. And Zenith. And Nadir. And Serpentine. And Star Blazer.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:25:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I pretty much played Choplifter, Apple Panic, Castle Wolfenstein, Lemonade Stand and Asteroids. Mostly Asteroids. However, I did have a lot of those games, not to play but to break them. Also had dBase III, PFSFile and other commercial programs, again, for breaking. Copy II Plus, Locksmith, etc were handy tools as well.
dramboxf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a CP/M and 40/80 card. My first "commercial" program was a dbaseII thing that maintained a mailing list for a girl's sleep away camp. Made bank on that thing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
dBase had an interesting deal. They had a modified format to prevent copying the master diskette, but each master diskette allowed a few copies to be made. The copies could not make further copies (mules). So, you could make a working mule copy and then put your master away in a safe place. Pretty cool. If a mule copy started to wear (or on a regular schedule), you could have the master diskette invalidate it and make another to replace it.
Shittyqueer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:45:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Donate that shit to a museum when you die, it would be so cool to see how people used outdated tech decades later!
Source: I am from the future.
RUST_LIFE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:15:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Technically coding languages are used to hack. Hack together bits of code
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hackers? Apple?
What?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well they want to claim to be first at everything... this also applies.
rowan_fay ยท 160 points ยท Posted at 20:59:35 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
golly gee mister
Killa-Byte ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:46:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My old school had CRTs in the rooms instead of projectors. Holy shit that ear-splitting sound made me think I had tinnitus.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, I know. Matter of fact, I have tinnitus and it's nothing like the hell-cry of CRTs.
What's even worse is when they leave it on with no input, so It's just a black, screaming box, and when you ask to turn it off because of the sound, they refuse because they don't hear it.
Killa-Byte ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:47:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That blue screen of death (not THAT one)...
This was first grade. Every once in a while someone would raise their hand and ask why there's a high pitch sound in the room, the teacher said "What sound?". It was an old teacher too. On the first day, they all plugged their ears when it was first turned on. Some people just dont understand.
Rejusu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not particularly common knowledge that your hearing range shrinks as you get older so most adults just get confused when they're told about a sound they can't hear. I can still hear those frequencies (last I checked) though and I'm in my late twenties. Confused the fuck out of my parents when we went to stay at this house and I told them I couldn't sleep downstairs because of this awful noise. Turned out to be one of those electrical pest repellants that just emit a high pitched noise to scare off mice and such. Unplugged it and they didn't know the difference.
Killa-Byte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I get old, I'll just play 16khz really loud from my front door.
barchueetadonai ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:58:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my gods, in high school, the library computer monitors would always be stretched to widescreen incorrectly, so I would press the buttons on the side to revert it to fullscreen unstretched (with the black, vertical bars). Every time, an asshole librarian (literally all of them) would scream at me and kick me out for the day.
Is it my fault they kept fucking up the aspect ratio and expecting me not to notice?
AWildWhiteGuyAppears ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:56:02 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
eww... hotmail.
Eddie_Hitler ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:11:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm old enough to remember the original pre-Microsoft Hotmail.
Then it became "MSN Hotmail". Does anyone else remember "The Microsoft Network" icon on ancient versions of Windows? What did it actually do?
OffensiveLamp ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:28:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL MSN stands for Microsoft Network.
Dyeredit ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:15:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
nono it means men sitting naked
OffensiveLamp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that explains a lot.
springbreakbox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
MSNBC wants your brain.
121PB4Y2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:00:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had MSN Hotmail AND MSN Browser.
Devikat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back when the upgrade to 100MB mailboxes was amazing. And then people with original (first year it started) Hotmail accounts were upgraded to 1GB before anyone else as a pilot test.
121PB4Y2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:01:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had something like 5MB and there was a trick where if you set your location to US you'd get 10 or 15 (I was in Mexico). Circa 2001.
admin-throw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:19:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was a shortcut for setting up your LAN.
OneRedSent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:52:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember it but I never actually figured it out. I think it was either another browser or maybe they were trying to compete with AOL by having a complete network, but no one I know ever used it.
sir_knightauditor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:54:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'hacking your hotmail' made me literally lol
Majik_Sheff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sony monitors I'm guessing? There was a big batch of them that had defective NVRAM chips. I think there were some Gateway and Viewsonics affected as well.
dexikiix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ha! maybe! this was a decade ago...
ForgeableBrush3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol i think you mean myspace ;)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:42 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hotmail is far older.
anormalgeek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Degauss it. Blow her mind.
Ihateallofyouequally ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man I remember doing that in high school. The display settings were always messed up and somehow no teachers understood what we were doing, and this was a technical high school.
The only time this became a real complaint is when someone figured out a way to reset other people's computers from their computer. Then suddenly in the middle of presentations the screen with start resetting. No idea how they did it bit it freaked out people every time.
Lizzie7493 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's incredible the amount of people that would look at you as if you were a criminal when you're just adjusting brightness/contrast on the screen buttons.
On the other hand, it once took me like 10minutes to find out that the new computers at our Uni had all the system in the same "box" as the screen. So I was there looking at a dead screen for ages trying to fing where the CPU unit was hidden (not under the table, not over the table...). This was 2 years ago
jinantonyx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:54:44 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was helping my boss set up her wireless router. We couldn't get online, so I opened up a command prompt to try to ping out and she came unglued.
Screaming "Jinantonyx, what are you DOING?! Are you trying to break my computer?!"
She seemed to believe that having a command prompt open caused computers to die, and I could not convince her otherwise.
Mithrandir_Earendur ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:44:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If anyone asked me this, I just tell them I've built computers before and know what I am doing. Shuts them up real good, even if it's really easy to build a computer.
DTF_Truck ยท 493 points ยท Posted at 20:02:46 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
It's not exactly something I witnessed, but everyone in my office is computer illiterate. I got my job as an " I.T guy " and my entire computer knowledge is literally based on the ability to use Google when I need to fix something. It's been a little over a year now, they still have no idea and I'm being paid what I regard as way too much for what I do.
Edit: Ok, apparently this is more common than I thought
ghstber ยท 404 points ยท Posted at 21:48:11 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Congratulations, you've learned the secret to IT - I've been doing IT for 10+ years now and everyone I work with admits it freely.
SoldierHawk ยท 112 points ยท Posted at 23:46:38 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
IT bro fistbump
Raider1987 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 10:40:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Head of IT for my office here!
A call from where I work, where I am the youngest person by about 20 years.
Them: 'The computer isn't working, so we can't access the diary or emails?'
Me: 'Ok, what error message are you getting?'
Them: 'We aren't getting a message, the screen is just blank'
Me: 'Ok is the monitor still plugged in?'
Them: 'I can't tell'
Me: 'What do you mean you can't tell?'
Them: 'We have had a power cut, it's really dark in here.'
So I get them to turn flip the switches on the fuse box and they all think I am Steve Jobs.
Eddie_Hitler ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 00:20:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
During a job interview I was once asked what I would do if I got stuck trying to solve a Linux issue.
Googling it was an acceptable answer. Got through to the next round.
auntiepink ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 12:29:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had one like that - "What is the easiest way to get one sentence again on the document?" I thought it was a trick question at first. Copy and paste got me the job...where I learned that knowing ctrl+c put me in the top 1% of computer knowledge there...with people who had presumably written all their college papers for their advanced degrees on computers.
sberrys ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:20:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would have played it safe and said something like "I would take some time to research the issue through various sources of technical information."
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:57:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is this legit? I'm always clearing up junk and viruses from people's laptops just by googling and using free software. Do I have career opportunities?
OneRedSent ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 10:59:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you can help most of the people being talked about in this thread without losing your temper and yelling at them, you'll be a god.
GumAcacia ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:43:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Literally all it took me to get a IT job in a Fortune 10 company. I dont even have a degree or past work experience in IT. 90% of it is interviewing well and the ability to sell yourself as a valuable asset
bdfull3r ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:27:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Just by sounding the part, you can get a lot of entry level IT positions
DTF_Truck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:19:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. It apparently looks like there's quite a few others that do this too. Hmmm...
spakkenkhrist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:43:34 on September 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know I'm replying to an old thread but there is a huge difference between reading the advice and applying it so yeah you definitely do.
DTF_Truck ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:01:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was younger, I was trying to find out something so I went into a computer shop at the mall. (It had something to do with SLI graphics cards when they were still new, I can't even remember what exactly) When I questioned the salesperson about it, he took me to their technician to ask him, the technician literally went to his computer, typed in my question into google and the very first fucking thing that popped up was the exact question that i asked on 'yahoo answers' with no responses. He said that he'd take my number down and get back to me about it. I never told him that it was me that posted the question there
DougieJazz ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:32:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just started working in IT department this summer. It's all everyone does.
TijoWasik ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:34:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are dozens of us. Dozens!
lrgame1983 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 10:21:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel we should keep this info under the radar mmmmkay? I really don't want to do anything else than read reddit and code my own software (it looks like I'm working, lot's of complex instructions, nobody dares to ask what the hell I do all day)
looki_chuck ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:52:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bighead
ljshamz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well to be fair a lot of your qualifications are knowing what the answers on google are actually saying. Also, with a dedicated person you will learn from each problem and not have to google something twice.
Zorzarix ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:52:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think knowing the words to describe a problem is important too. I mean how are you going to restart a browser if you don't even know what that is and just "click the blue 'E' to get internet"?
surrfant ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:39:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is my goal in life as every place I work I get people who say "you're so good at computers!" Nope, I'm good at Googling and I'm good at working out why your Excel formulae no longer work.
Dozekar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:56:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you can figure out why excel formulae no longer work you can probably replace a good 33% of the programmers out there.
Meegul ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:50:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Granted, a shocking amount of programmers can't even code FizzBuzz to save their house from burning down.
Imperator_Knoedel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Upvoted for correct plural form of formula.
Ppeachy_Queen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:17:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work for my parents and they tried to hire an it guy. The guy was very excited. During the interview he asked what his responsibilities would be, my mom responded "can you set up email?" to which he replied, "Oh is that it?" He never returned their calls.
FollowTheLaser ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:34:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How do I get a job like this?
KhompS ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:09:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have you installed Google Ultra on everyone's computers?
ItszBrian ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:08:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't it Ultron?
Mugen593 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:33:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No that's the old model that NASA used to use. Ultra is what the NSA-
Alonless ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:59:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That greentext was glorious <3
melonsandapples ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:24 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
whoops, looks like the NSA silenced him
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that guy.
sufferingcubsfan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:40:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It pro with two degrees and better than twelve years experience. This is how I do 85% of my job. The other 15% are things I do from memory (and I probably googled them).
dramboxf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The real skill isn't just in Googling. It's in a) being able to parse the reply so you know what to ignore and what to do, and b) being able to accurately Google. I've had to clean up after some "Google IT Techs" and they just follow blindly whatever the first result of their search is, even if the search has nothing to do with the issue (they didn't word their search correctly.)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Google is a huge part of IT support.
Yelnik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Buddy, I'm a software developer and even that job is just a glorified googler. If the Internet goes down I basically can't work.
MistaJenkins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cheers
6xydragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:11 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am a cellphone person. It's how I fix cell phones. The main skill is knowing what to google.
blamb211 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:28 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See, I would love to do that, but I currently do tech support for medical software. Google is zero help to me when there's an issue... Maybe one day, though.
Kronos59 ยท 469 points ยท Posted at 23:52:34 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I told them to right click, not write "click"...
IkarusTheThird ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 05:11:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Right click on the desktop." "Should I use permanent marker?"
Pel-Mel ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:01:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What.
Splodgerydoo ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 09:54:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SHOULD I USE PERMANENT MARKER
proximity_account ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 10:06:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO IM GOING TO HANG UP.
onlytech_nofashion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:58:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
META
Avatar_ZW ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:31:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It sounds like a joke, but I'm sure that actually happened.
tangopi ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:50:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
once i told a guy to press F5. he typed F and 5.
karah99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:21:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Omg. This literally happened to me the other day. I was like: nooooooooo, the F5 key.
eekstatic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:22:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of the stuff on this thread is just "Well, how would they know that's what you meant if they didn't already know what you meant?"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:21:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Slightly related: how do you and other people in tech support deal with the amount of sheer idiocy?
I've seen my share because I taught into to computers, but I lasted 2 months.
Orangestar1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:29 on August 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We should've kept the name "Alternative click", though that might make people start holding Alt to click like an old Mac.
keigo199013 ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 22:51:25 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A few weeks ago, I'm trying to show an older lady at work how to restart.
I tell her to click the start button in the lower left-hand corner, she asks "where?". I respond with "right below the desktop", pointing towards the monitor. She starts moving stuff on her desk looking for the start button. :(
To this day she still blames the computer for why "it won't work right".
simply_blue ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:08:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once, I told a customer to "right-click" on his desktop, so he wrote the word "click" on his desk.
Slipacre ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 22:32:13 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was installing links to a new system on a workers desk.
"Don't bother I don't use it, computers are the instrument of the devil"
Ok - make not to myself that data on the new system is going to have some holes in it.
EthanRDoesMC ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:59:02 on December 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WHAAAAAA??
The_Stoic_One ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 02:59:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a computer illiterate boss that I hated. I knew on my days off she would always go through the computer I used and check to see if I downloaded or added anything and she'd check my browsing history. I didn't really care, but because I hated her and I knew she had very basic knowledge, I decided to screw with her. I took a screenshot of the desktop with all the program icons on it, then deleted all the icons and set the screenshot as the wallpaper. I didn't get to witness the chaos ensue, because she waited until I was off to use the computer, but I was told she was frantic. She completely lost her shit over it asking one of my friends to fix it and make the icons work again. He just shook his head and said, "I don't know how to fix that, never seen anything like it."
I also set Chrome to only open in incognito mode which drove her crazy. Now she never had any history to snoop through.
Cptn_EvlStpr ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:36:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love this, it kinda makes me wish I had a nosey-ass boss to fuck with...
Happy_Neko ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:07:31 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is beautiful.
I know that legally computers and the like are company property and they can do what they want with them, but there's no faster way to lose the respect of your employees than by treating them all like their liars/cheats/thieves/etc. On the other hand, I've found that especially with people like her - they look at the world through their own lens so the only reason why she was so paranoid that you were misusing/abusing the computer is because that's what she would be doing in your position.
That thought has kept me sane throughout most of my working life.
l3ri ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:05:19 on September 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in a hospital where they would get understandably upset if you left your pc unlocked. One of my friends there would always leave her pc unlocked so I did this exact same thing to her. After about 20 minutes of her freaking out, I fessed up and fixed it. She never forgot to lock her computer again.
Daealis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:51:27 on December 20, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Got out of a double class of IT back in high school when our principal was subbing for the IT teacher. Back in the good ol' days of Win95 and no shielding whatsoever, every PC in our school network had NetBus backdoors installed. In case you're not familiar with the program, you can basically do anything remotely to fuck around with the computer.
So principal is telling us some basic things, how to type and indent stuff etc. His monitor view is projected to a huge canvas for all to see. All of a sudden racist slurs start appearing in the middle of his sentences (control mouse, copy and paste text). He blushes like a virgin in the screening of 50 Shades and frantically deletes the texts and stammers a bit, moving swiftly on.
A bit later, he's showing us how some basic Excel formatting and sum macros. Bam, gay porn. Now he's cursing like a sailor as well as blushing, saying something about stupid popups and probably some webpage misbehaving.
Just as he's settling down, the cd-drive goes on a dancing spree, jumping open and closing again for a good two minutes straight. Once he can't figure out why the hell this is happening he just pulls the plug, leaving the drive halfway. Mumbling about viruses he tells us to go home, there's probably a virus here.
Also funny was the thing you did, screencapping the desktop and moving the real icons somewhere out of sight.
Oh, and all the games were copied to SYSTEM32, because no teacher dared to go there looking for installed stuff. Anywhere else but the system folders, and they'd disappear every week.
ReadingWhileAtWork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How do you set it to only open in Incog?
Edit: Yeah, Yeah, I could google it...
themoonisacheese ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:59:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do not know, but i assume through console arguments and windows shortcuts.
TalesOfMyLife ยท 129 points ยท Posted at 20:49:55 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A photo was too small so they opened a PowerPoint presentation, dragged the picture in, resized it without pulling it from the corner, then showed the picture.
Titus_Favonius ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:22:59 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
stop it you're killing me
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:13:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
tatu_huma ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:02:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Create an HTML page. Link the image with an <img> tag. Open the page in IE. Set the zoom of IE to 200%. Done.
AlllRkSpN ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 07:28:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OR, just zoom in with any photo viewing software ever.
m3bs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:50:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Firefox at least lets you just right-click and "Open with.." straight into the browser. Or even just drag and drop into a browser. I think IE might try to save the photo as a file if you try that.
But yeah, like /u/AlllRkSpN said, just numpad plus and minus in Windows Photo Viewer is probably the fastest.
Rainarrow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:01 on December 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it's 2016 who has a numpad
GLOOTS_OF_PEACE ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:29:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that actually sounds kinda clever to me
mossyymossyy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:13:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, at least they thought of a way to make it bigger? Give them some credit I guess
SpartanMartian ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 00:16:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got extra credit in 10th grade biology for showing the teacher how to google. And then I got even more extra credit for showing her what the "I'm feeling lucky" button did. Easiest 20 points ever haha
Combustible_Lemon1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:56:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What does the " I'm feeling lucky " button do, anyway?
SpartanJack17 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:04:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Goes straight to the first Google result.
SgtBaconman ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:27:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
holy
fucking
shit
am i computer illiterate? because I never knew what it did
SpartanJack17 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:30:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, nobody ever uses that thing. It's almost entirely useless with autocompleting URLs in the address bar.
drs43821 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let me Google that for you!
lmgtfy.com
PopcornInMyTeeth ยท 172 points ยท Posted at 19:33:59 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An art history teacher I had in college would type u tube into Google to go to YouTube. Every. single. time.
NefariousNeezy ยท 286 points ยท Posted at 22:43:48 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He didn't want to show the results when he types "you...".
AWildWhiteGuyAppears ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 00:09:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
what kind of sick fuck uses youporn?
LeaferWasTaken ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 02:47:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Any port in a storm.
theivoryserf ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:35:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Any porn in a snorm.
YouTee ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:53:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Any norm in a forum
TheDylantula ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:04:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
NORMIES REEEEEEEEEEE
PM_ME_UR_FAVE_MOVIES ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 05:16:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, the kinda guy who forgets to use incognito for porn sounds like the kinda guy to use youporn.
crownsloth ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 07:18:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or you reach a point in life where you just don't care anymore. My computer, my house, my rules
mconen ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 09:07:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...my art history class.
PrashnaChinha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you.
Tromboneofsteel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:24:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah man, it's all about youjizz these days.
popejohnthebroiest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Art history teachers are some weird people.
PixelBlaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:47:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you dare, Youporn was the website that baptized me and introduced me to pornography.
SosX ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:54:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are either a kid or took to fucking long to look for pornography online.
PixelBlaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 21, that was over 8 years ago.
AOEUD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you're into the nicher stuff you go to all of them and see what you can find.
PopcornInMyTeeth ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:27:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She was a lady in her 60s... So nevermind, you could still be right.
Schmabadoop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:00:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my roommates in college would do that too. Nicest guy but damn was that frustrating.
PopcornInMyTeeth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:06:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I don't know if it really is the sign of a douchebag and more of a douchebag move. Either way, not cool yo.
Schmabadoop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My roommate was the total antithesis of a douchebag. Probably just an old habit from when he first used a computer that he held on to.
PopcornInMyTeeth ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:13:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Woops! May have just replied to the wrong message. Sorry for the confusion.
Your roommate reminds me of a friend I had who was a sports writer who typed with his pointer fingers. Old computer habits die hard.
RuneLFox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:32:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just use 'yt', so much faster.
AquaeyesTardis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think two of you had the same professor...
Flegumeister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:28:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your username makes me uneasy.
disregardsmulti21 ยท 796 points ยท Posted at 21:43:48 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was about 20 years ago, before the days of Siri et al. This unusually dressed Scottish fellow comes into my office and starts talking to the computer... And when he gets no response? Picks up the mouse and starts talking into that!
[deleted] ยท 337 points ยท Posted at 23:01:12 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 04:33:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
surprised-duncan ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 05:31:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
COMPUTER! HELLO!
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:22:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
TheRealAdagio ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:32:05 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It might take a bit to get the pitch right...
markhewitt1978 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:32:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just use the keyboard!!
HerpAMerpDerp ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:58:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How quaint.
Ser_Fyrestorme ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:28:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OK Computer
mrkabin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:20:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Scott?
KatzoCorp ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 12:27:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Douglas Reynholm.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:36:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*Denholm
Douglas was season 2
mrkabin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:11:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Star Trek: The Voyage Home 1986. Mr Scott when he was inventing transparent aluminum.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:05:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kill Flanders.
thewalkindude ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:26:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My ears are burning!
TXDRMST ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...yes this is Scottish fellow.
cyboii ยท 255 points ยท Posted at 23:16:38 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean you have no transparent aluminum?!?!
PS-> I hate to break it to you, but it's 30 years ago this November
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 03:09:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No it's not stop
dogfriend ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:35:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Predicting the future?
http://makezine.com/2012/01/17/transparent-aluminum/
cyboii ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:19:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or self-fulfilling prophecy
Spartan1997 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:18:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't matter to me
recycledcoder ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:19:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kindly not to be remindink me zat I am old, ya?
HerpAMerpDerp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.ubergizmo.com/2015/11/transparent-aluminum/
NW_thoughtful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:15 on August 29, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Transparent aluminium is 'new state of matter'"
http://phys.org/news/2009-07-transparent-aluminium-state.html
:)
[deleted] ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 23:15:01 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Keyboard? How quaint!
Phiau ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:37:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Proceeds to open and close the same 3 windows repeatedly
nolo_me ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
proceeds to type at 180wpm
smurf123_123 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 01:22:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He helped save the whales though!
Cpt_Ginu ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 02:20:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But then he sits at the keyboard and just starts typing a formula to make transparent aluminum.
GreatBabu ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:02:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He knows HOW to type, just isn't used to doing it.
BitGladius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Direct input has a much lower failure rate so even if it wasn't explicit a combat capable ship should have it as backup.
GreatBabu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats what all of those buttons are on the ship. Doesn't mean he would ever need a keyboard.
valiantfreak ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 23:47:00 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'Third Rock from the Sun' episode:
Dick Soloman walks up to computer, picks up mouse:
"Computer, open file"
[pause]
"Oh, of course, it's made in Japan. ใณใณใใฅใผใฟใ้ใใฆใใใใกใคใซ"
Ella_Spella ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:41:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Would that work? It's not quite the same thing. 'Aite iru conpyuuta fairu' just means 'the file that is open'.
valiantfreak ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:56:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, me no speak Japanese. Blame Google Translate.
Maybe if he said it right it would have worked.
Xomnik ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:53:51 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The problems of time travel. Did I travel to the past, or so far into the future the technology fallout has happened...
Imalwaysneverthere ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:46:32 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was he usually not dressed?
happyzach ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:43:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like to do this around the house with things "stove, cook chicken." Makes my wife laugh every time.
Desdraftlit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:52:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You just found a legit time traveller.
leondrias ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:40:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Keyboard... how quaint.
siler7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit.
robinthekid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Unusually dressed and talks to a computer? Chances are he was a time traveler.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He was a time traveler from the future, who got stuck in the past.
SuperMadBro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Time traveler landed in the wrong century
PM_ME_UR_HEDGEHOGS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did he yell "Bonjourrrrrrr, you cheese-eating surrender monkey" into the mouse?
candybomberz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:01 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tbh. sci-fi always existed. If you don't own a computer and see in a movie that someone talks to it and it responds like a conscious beeing you might come to the conclusion that computers are intelligent and can talk.
joeyadams ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am I the only one who picked up on the Star Trek reference?
jonahhw ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:47:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope.
NekoFever ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 12:57:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, you are. All the jokes about whales, time travel and transparent aluminum are a coincidence.
akira410 ยท 717 points ยท Posted at 23:04:31 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work tech support for an ISP so I have many stories.
One of my favorites, though, when when a little old lady called because her computer was not reading floppy disks.
I head over to her place to diagnose the problem. She takes me to her computer to show me what the problem is. She pulls out a floppy disk and inserts it into the drive while it is still in a plastic sleeve.
I explained to her that the computer cannot read the disk when the sleeve is on. She needs to take the disk out before inserting it into the drive.
Her response was very innocent and cute - "Well, I don't want it to get a virus!"
I had to explain to the lady that the plastic was not a condom for the disk...
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 06:36:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Meh_Turkey_Sandwich ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:11:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Checkmate /r/pcmasterrace
[deleted] ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 02:59:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
akira410 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 03:49:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
These were the 3.5" floppies. This was 20 years ago, so you may be correct about it being paper. My memory says plastic, though. I have been doing some googling and am struggling to find anything, though. I can only find DVD/CD sleeves.
FelisEros ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:34:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're right. They usually only came on installation disks, though, never on blanks.
RetroHacker ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:51:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, you're right, they were plastic - clear plastic. Many blank disks came like that in the early days of 3 1/2" media.
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 03:24:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
akira410 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 03:43:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We were a dial-up ISP in a small town of a few thousand folks back in 1996-1997. Since we were the only place in town, we would also do repairs. We had a little room in the back where folks could bring there computers. We also made house calls (for setup and to fix crap.)
NotThtPatrickStewart ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:34:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"handled many a floppy back in the day."
Sounds like you were doing it wrong....
AlmightyRuler ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:48:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or very right.
Endulos ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:07:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your bull shit alarm is broken.
I received many different floppy disks with plastic sleeves. In fact, I've never even heard of a paper floppy disk sleeve.
FelisEros ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:32:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
3.5" floppies came in plastic sleeves, little dust protector looking things. Like, not if you bought them in bulk. But when you'd get one or two installation disks, they'd usually have them.
RetroHacker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:49:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Several brands of 3 1/2" disks came in individual clear plastic sleeves inside the box of 10. Quite common, but mostly on old double density disks. By the time HD floppies came out, they mostly stopped doing this.
nolo_me ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:42:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen 5.25" floppies in plastic sleeves.
false_precision ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
More specifically, Tyvek.
sleepy9010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe she put it in there herself to protect it?
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 03:41:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup this sounds bullshit. ISP's have separate technicians and tech support. The guy coming to your house isnt the guy who answers the calls.
akira410 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:43:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
We only had five employees. We did it all. It was a little mom and pop place in the late 90s. AOL wasn't even in our area at the time. I did phone support, house calls, tutorials in office, web design, and linux sysadmin duties. It was for crap pay, too. $7.00/hr. I was in high school at the time, so I didn't mind. I think I got a raise to $8.00/hr right before I quit and moved to CA. This was in very rural NC.
edit
Wow.. I found our old website... in all of its glory:
https://web.archive.org/web/19961219152028/http://blueridge.net/
I eventually redesigned it into this awesome piece of work:
https://web.archive.org/web/19990428141044/http://www.blueridge.net/
MagnusCthulhu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:58:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, uhh... wow. Those are certainly websites.
Heroshade ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:47:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They are when floppy disks are still a thing.
wfaulk ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not only that, but by the time ISPs were a thing, 5.25" floppies were long gone.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:05:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty funny
dougmantis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That gives a whole new meaning to 'floppy disk'...
Clear_Runway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you should have told her about the write protect slot!
Hurricane_Michigan ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 22:45:25 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Coworker just got a new iPhone with siri.
Uses siri to find the local best buy phone number. While siri is reading the # out loud, she scrambles for a pen and paper to write it down instead of hitting the call button. For the record she called immediately after so it wasn't like she was saving the # for later.
username_lookup_fail ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:10:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The biggest problem here is that for some reason your coworker needed to call Best Buy.
Hurricane_Michigan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:13:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She wanted a phone case.
Had no idea the name. Not the make nor the model. Only thing she knew was the color.
She got ahold of some poor employee who had to look for an "orange case for iPhones."
As having worked in retail before in my life, I felt bad. Went on the Best Buy website and within 30 seconds found the exact case she was looking for (verified by her).
akucave ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 00:23:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I programmed my grandma's TV remote so that she would only need to press one button to watch her favorite channel. I even put a sticker underneath the button so that she wouldn't forget which button to press. She ended up pressing on the sticker instead of the button. Still really miss her though...
drs43821 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly how my grandma operates her cable TV! At one point we even need to disable all other buttons on the remote so she won't mess with it and "lost" her channel
roguespectre67 ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 02:00:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Before I knew as much about computers as I do now, I called tech support because I somehow deleted the driver for the Ethernet jack in my laptop. the call went something like this:
Me: "Hi, yeah, I accidentally deleted the driver for the Ehernet jack and this laptop doesn't have wi-fi."
"Jason": "Ok, have you tried restarting?"
Me: "Yeah, it still won't work."
"Jason", after a few minutes of holding: "Ok, what I need you to do is visit the website for information on fixing it."
Me: click
RvDarklord ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:12:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once deleted my video driver by accident. Had a great time figuring out how to fix that one...
sWarm_22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:35:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you have to do a CMOS reset or something? I've also made this mistake the first time I installed a new graphics card.
JasTHook ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:14:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No
RvDarklord ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:22:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well reinstalling windows fixed it...
Lesp00n ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:29:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All else fails...
It's going to be interesting in a few months when there's a lot of users with no windows 10 instillation disks or product keys and in desperate need of a fresh install. I wonder how Microsoft is going to handle that.
RvDarklord ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:20:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can create an installation USB drive or disk yourself so that's a decent solution
Lesp00n ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:35:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That requires preplanning. Have you met the average Windows user? Lol. Hell I bet by the time I get home and have the time to make one I'll forget.
I really should tho, I'm the slightly above average user the rest of them turn to like I'm an actual expert. I'll need to have one. They expect shit like this from me.
Everything_Is_Koan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:09:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it. Is it illiterate because he wanted you to go to some website even when you told him your internet connection is off?
Lizzie7493 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:34:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me of a common issue at my work. Sometimes one of my colleagues cannot log in to their computer because there's some problem on our internal server. So we call IT support and they straight up ask the person to send an assitance request by email from their computer so they can come upstairs have a look at it. It takes several tries for us to tell them that's frankly impossible.
bananahungry241 ยท 126 points ยท Posted at 19:24:23 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That photo on the internet of an older lady with fifteen pages of printed Facebook comments....
Jesus-chan ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 19:36:04 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
bro, mobile data ain't cheap
XPlatform ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:38:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Printer ink is probably more expensive and printouts are decidedly less mobile :|
TheLexDude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But emergency T.P.
_TheGreatDekuTree_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FINALLY! A use for all the complaining posts my relative makes every day.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:35:22 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Geodude671 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:51:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where? Narnia?
spmd123 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:41:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Heaven
PM_ME_YOUR_BIG_LOAD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:43:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably somewhere in Asia or Scandinavia
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
xavierash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cries into my Australian 4Meg a second $70 a month internet, then stops because the internet dies anytime the lines get moist, like when it rains.
Herr-Geist ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:15:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just don't understand how all these old people get the printer to work for shit like this, when I can't ever get it to work and I know what I'm doing
bananahungry241 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:24:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel your pain
CoryFromBHMS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works.
bananahungry241 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Amen, brother
maxihinz ยท 156 points ยท Posted at 20:23:58 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't trust your excel making maths. I trust my calculator
elyisgreat ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:59:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. Floating point precision just isn't good enough for me.
green_meklar ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 08:29:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You mean 0.2 + 0.2 isn't really 0.39999999999999997?
elyisgreat ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:08:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course not it's 0.40000000000000002
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 01:10:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
chrispyb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can hit that button to show the arrows
abigthirstyteddybear ยท -26 points ยท Posted at 00:30:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wrong reply button kiddo.
maxihinz ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:38:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a frase my boss said me
edymondo ยท 174 points ยท Posted at 20:20:29 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My sister (who did two years of a computer science degree I might add) couldn't work out how to connect her computer to the internet via an Ethernet cable.
FigFrontflip ยท 150 points ยท Posted at 23:14:20 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know everyone assumes CS means IT professional but believe me, the only things we learn that are close to IT is low level OS stuff. I thought I knew lots when I started my summer term and boy was I wrong!
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 02:19:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
GentleRedditor ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:22:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a very broad subject, logic is an important topic in learning Computer Science though for sure.
If I had to say personally what CS is, it's the science of computation and computation is in many ways just a fancy word for "doing something" so while computers are incredible tools to do things they aren't actually the focus of computer science and as a consequence you don't need to know how to operate a desktop computer in any real capacity to still explore the fantastic depths of CS as a field.
WildBizzy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:11:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The physical parts of a computer and how to put them together is one of the first things we covered on my CS course, but fair enough after the first semester it was mostly programming
FigFrontflip ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:00:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See for us, we didn't even look at that. We looked at what a CPU does under the hood but never put anything together. You got lucky!
bigderivative ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:42:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a CS minor and took 8 classes. There's tons of shit about IT I have no idea how it works.
ArtificialSugar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:07:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How is "low level OS stuff" related to IT at all? What?
FigFrontflip ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:59:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Understanding how an OS works is important. I know down to a low level how it works but boy did I not understand how the upper level functions worked. Things like the registries and trouble shooting IE are not things we learn at all in the CS degree.
username_lookup_fail ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You think there would be at least one required class on common sense. Nothing against CS people at all, but I've seen people (yes, plural) with CS degrees that couldn't plug in a power cord. That's like becoming an automobile engineer without knowing how to pump gas. The curriculum for some of these programs seems to be stuck decades in the past.
Moxz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:43:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've got a job in IT right now, planning to go back to school for CS eventually. Feels like a good step forward.
It's good to know the practical implications of things, before you start manipulating them.
regulate213 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:38:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
True computer science is a funny math degree. How many ways can you sort something, which is fastest and/or uses the lease memory? How about looking something up?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:47:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
CS doesnt mean hardware savvy
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:06:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've met plenty of CS students that couldn't debug themselves out of a paper bag. This doesn't surprise me.
Shepard_Chan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:27:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We haven't been taught debugging. This concept was only first revealed to me at work.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:29:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Debugging isn't taught, it's learned through necessity.
beaker90 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:38:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read this as your sister died from a two year computer science degree. That confused my for a bit.
Frozen5147 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, she might have spent more time on logic than understanding hardware.
dragon34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:21 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a four year CS degree and currently work in IT. Can confirm that many of my peers had no idea how to fix their computers, and many of them are far better programmers than I am. At my first programming job out of college the IT guy looked at me like I'd grown another head when I was like "Hey, my optical drive is dead, I checked the connections, do you have another one I can swap in?" He was like no, no programmers no touch hardware.
TheAdamantArchvile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:48 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did she go to a trade school?
RealHazubando ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read this as "died two weeks ago of a computer science degree"
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It used to be quite difficult sometimes before Windows XP to get all the settings right.
Eroe777 ยท 138 points ยท Posted at 23:00:48 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the classic tale about the call to IT about the cup holder that broke off his computer.
'Computers don't come with cup holders.' says the IT guy.
'This one does,' says the caller. 'I push a button on the front of the computer and it slides out. Mine snapped off.'
TheRandomnatrix ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 01:20:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, in this day and age it may as well be a glorified cup holder
Everything_Is_Koan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:03:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a Spanish language course on CD and it's IMPOSSIBLE to find it on the internet. And I have a CD with a collection of old games, some of them almost undownloadable.
slothierthanyou ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:26:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tell that to my dsl.
PM_ME_YOUR_BIG_LOAD ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:45:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dick Sucking Lips?
stapler8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:02:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn Slow Lines? /s
Alechilles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly I'm tempted to start using mine for that.
_talking_bird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even have an optical drive in my current computer. (Had to get the LAN driver from my phone, but that was really the only issue with getting everything installed in the beginning.)
ReadingWhileAtWork ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:20:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back when I was but a youngling, my dad had a program (not his) that would say, "Thank you for buying a Coke! Here's your free cup holder!"
It would then pop the CD tray open.
Deranged_Kitsune ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:33:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend who worked in IT back in the late 90s that swears he actually had one of those calls.
sufferingcubsfan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:43:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've lived this, no lie.
AliGLeaph ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:32:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait... so you're saying those aren't cup holders? Then what goes in there, and where do I place my drink?
elpachyderm ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 07:29:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Mom googled Tetris and clicked on the first link. She thought she was playing for like ten minutes, but it was a YouTube video of someone playing Tetris.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:02:59 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No matter what you say, I'm going to imagine it was this video of TGM3.
elpachyderm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:09:17 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was intense...
A-Shitty-Engineer ยท 173 points ยท Posted at 20:54:20 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll love /r/talesfromtechsupport
๐๏ธ MrJoeSchmo ยท 158 points ยท Posted at 20:56:20 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I ABSOLUTELY love that subreddit. I posted here because I ran out of new stories from there while at work. At this point I'm probably addicted.
smashbrawlguy ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:07:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to unsub after playing a nice game of "drink every time you cringe" and later puking all over my keyboard.
GyahhhSpidersNOPE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:34:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's OK, it's pretty addictive!! I try to wait and do a month at a time on the weekend but some weeks man I gotta get my TFTS's on school nights. I have like 4 more started but the last thing I want to do when I get home is write about work.
MKSLAYER97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That sucks, but my name's not Ted.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:56:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
jangoknight7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:59:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It also doesn't help they allow fictional submission and ban people who point this out on the sub and don't require a submission to say if it's real or not so it took all the enjoyment out of that sub
obmckenzie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:05:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! That bothers me far to much. I left because of it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out
CrazyWhirlygig ยท 198 points ยท Posted at 19:36:52 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is about ten years back, so forever in computer time.
My mother in law used to think that you can type anything you're looking for with a ".com" after it, and that website will pop up. Like if she wanted a recipe for pot roast, she could write "Recipeforpotroast.com" and boom, it would be there.
She learned the hard way when she wanted to look up Dick's Sporting Goods.
applepwnz ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 21:19:15 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thankfully now dicks.com does go to the sporting goods website. At least once every few months I'll want to look up some equipment at work and I'll put in dicks.com and hit enter, before having a mini heart attack after I realize what I put.
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 01:48:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone needs to buy penises.com and redirect it to the Dick's website.
yokayla ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:30:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That must have cost them a pretty penny to buy.
DefinitelyNotATaco ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:38:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
screennameoutoforder ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:48:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still have problems buying from Bang Good. I'm tired of explaining to coworkers who are puzzled, or worse zip out of the room to give me alone time.
OneRedSent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:03:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love referring people on my local subreddit to sftu.org.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:47:59 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sarasota's public transit is called Sarasota County Area Transit.
Yes, the acronym is prominently displayed on the buses.
CrazyWhirlygig ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:15:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
haha yes this was wayyy before the auto-redirect
WankerRotaryEngine ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 11:52:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
experts exchange .com
who represents .com
speed of art .com
kids exchange .net
powergen italia .com
cum(bria) stor(ag)e (systems) .co.uk
mole station nursery .com
darkdoppelganger ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:43:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't look for vacation tips on Pen Island.
xLastTimeNeverNextx ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:12:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol
koalafiediswear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:48:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's adorable
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This basically used to be me :( We didn't have a home computer until I was 12. I didn't know about search engines until I was 15ish, so I just guessed names of websites until I found the information I wanted. The sad part is that I'm only 25 now but woefully behind the rest of my generation.
spmd123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:40:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are on reedit, so you have gotten most important steps down.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:47 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had a friend in middle school that went to whitehouse.com instead of .gov while doing research in the library.
Epistaxis ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And boy oh boy, the goods he was sporting!
demonmutantninjazomb ยท 106 points ยท Posted at 23:02:40 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Has to be CPU sticker guy.
AliGLeaph ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:17:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is hilarious, kinda feel bad for the guy haha
dupelize ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:16:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He seems to take it pretty well. Everyone does at least one thing that is really silly to most people. I've certainly done my fair share. At least his fuck up might save somebody else from doing the same.
miahelf ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that a troll account name? DerpyMcDerpenstien?
RocketCow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stein not Stien...
nolo_me ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:46:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, right. In a parallel world, maybe.
erishun ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:16:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of all the thermal paste horror pics from BuildAPC. No matter how many times you say it, some people will apply paste like cream cheese on a bagel.
They'll just squeeze out 2 tubes of Arctic Silver right on top and the paste will ooze out the side as they tighten the cooler.
Immortal888 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:44:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sides into orbit.
Me4Prez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, it has already been 5 months? Damn 2016 is flying by.
demonmutantninjazomb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:45:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you. You just reminded me that I begin school in 2 weeks.
EricandtheLegion ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 23:29:22 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not the most, but there is a line in Degrassi Next Class that seriously made all of my friends cringe, which is saying something because that show's dialogue is MOSTLY cringey:
"My app is boring? Your UI is open source jpegs you got from mp3's on the web... it's total shovelware."
It's so glorious
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 03:26:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:05:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
dupelize ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:46:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As much as 0 can be greater than 0, I agree.
KatzoCorp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Does /r/shittyaskmathematicians exist?
Edit: aww
Breadmako ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:30:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Let me write a program for something that someone probably already made on the internet"
dragon34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:24 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/gallery/kpTtT
TheLiberatedMan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:57:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you've a link to that?
darksilverhawk ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 02:31:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works.
miahelf ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:36:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well they damn well better
funkmon ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:56:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can do that though; they're often embedded as album art.
Combustible_Lemon1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:55:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well you can use sound to make pictures, and if a UI was made using these pictures it would look like garbage...
_talking_bird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, sometimes I open image files in audacity to apply audio filters (it makes the pictures look cool and glitchy).
I'm pretty sure you could create a jpg from an mp3 if you fuck around a little with headers and padding... I mean, it wouldn't be a picture, but you'd have a valid image file.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:12:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that actually hurt to watch
Emperialist ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:23:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck.
42Zarniwoop42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:20:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Saw this scene on /r/itsaunixsystem Best subreddit tbh
reller_eu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:10:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am pretty impressed at how smooth she said that bs.
Ghi102 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know what, creating jpegs from mp3 is not a bad project... The rest is bs, but what would happen if you took the data from mp3's and exported it in a jpeg format...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ghi102 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's underwhelming.
honey_I_shot_the_kid ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 00:45:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was literally the most computer illiterate person. She is pretty okay now but she was way too illiterate with the computers back in the day. She is a professional doctor but that did not help the computer part.
I used to get back from football training, shower, have dinner and go to my room to browse the internets. It's usually 830PM by then. So, this one time, mom walks up to my room at about 930PM and says "I want you to help me get some info regarding this address from the internet. Is it possible?". I was midway into finishing a TV show so I asked her if she can wait till 10PM, I will help her out with it. She was adamant and insisted I do it right away. It was odd of her because she is a very easy going mom and would never crib about a thing. Curious, I asked her what's the matter and if anything is worrying her. She says "Don't they shut down the internet for the day by 10PM? This would take at least longer than 30 minutes I believe". To this day, it's a running joke in the family about the internet shutting down at 10PM. Mom still has some of her illiteracy left as she recently carried the monitor, only the monitor, to the technician guy because her Outlook stopped working.
KatzoCorp ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:56:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Being a doctor usually doesn't help the matter.
Source: very briefly dated a med student. She'd have a separate Chrome shortcut on her desktop named "gmail", which she would open and write gmail.com into the address bar.
JamesIgnatius27 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:24:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me not to go on the Internet at night because websites are more likely to show vulgar material at night :/
MagnusCthulhu ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:03:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That would be really cool. Hulu After Dark and shit.
just_a_random_dood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love your username by the way.
95DarkFire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Imho that's not illiteracy, that is blindness!
ASUstoner ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 19:32:30 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work customer service and I good go on for days about things. The most memorable one is where I had to spend 5 minutes with a lady because she didn't know how to get past a captcha
CheeseFlavored ยท 174 points ยท Posted at 20:33:49 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She was a robot, you are now an accomplice in the uprising. You've doomed us all.
miahelf ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:37:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Works as intended lol
br0wnb0y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
omg, the old site we used for our products had one and the call volume of people who couldn't do it correctly was so high they actually removed it.
ASUstoner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
man we had so many calls for forgot password that we had to put it on the main page of our site so people would use it. We were getting upwards of 500 calls a day just for that.
nektro ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 23:55:05 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was helping an elderly woman with her computer the other day, after she said her granddaughter had deleted Windows.
Her Google Chrome was 24 versions out of date and had simply stopped displaying msn.com.
skyline_kid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:39:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How the heck does someone that tech illiterate keep Chrome from updating? It updates itself in the background.
ferret_80 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:28:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
if you never close the window it won't update
Cobbleking32486 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:20:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least it wasn't IE 2.
SorryforbeingDutch ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 06:58:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've told this before.
This happened a while back but it's still the best thing that ever happened to me at work. True story.
So, i was hired by a big defense company (upgrade tanks, naval weapons, etc) with over 3500 employees. You can imagine this was a very big company. We were in building 34 and if you needed to go somewhere quick you took a bike or an electric car. I usually did 2nd line support, but they had a couple of people call in sick and asked me to do first line support. It was a friday and not much was happening, besides the usual emailproblems and tech guys turning off unix machines that needed a checkdisk command with admin rights. The phone rings.
Yes hello, this the secretary of the CEO. We need you to come over NOW! We have a big problem. ME: What seems to be wrong? Her: Mr CEO is trying to open a file in Word, but everytime he does this, scrambled text is showing up. I THINK WE ARE BEING HACKED! (this was a big issue, since a couple of weeks before this a group of activists broke into the company and climbed on top of our radar tower) Me: I'll take a look from here and take over your screen. Hang on. So i take over his screen this is what happens:
File, open: GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
HER: I don't know what this is. You see?!? THis is so weird... Now, i thought i knew what was wrong at this moment, but i wanted to see in person. You don't just walk into the exec office every day. ME: Uhuh. I'll be there as soon as possible! So i grab this electric car, drive over and 5 minutes later i walk into the executive building. A very nice building, totally different from the rest of the offices. They even had their own dining room and bar. THe security guy sees me coming and waves me through, he was informed of my coming and understood the importance. I get out of the elevator at the top floor and am greeted by the secretary, a manager and some other assistent, all a bit panicked. Come over, have a look at this! The ceo says..
He shows me: File, open: GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
So i look at him. I look at every single person in that room. You could feel the suspense. I look back at the computer. I pick up the newspaper that was on top of the keyboard and ask: try again please? The looks on their face: Priceless.
false_precision ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:30:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
(Just a helpful hint: if you put two spaces at the end of a line then you can get away with not having to double space. Right now your comment looks a bit jumbled without the linebreaks.)
RedditsInBed2 ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 20:26:50 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've always been a huge fan of the following when a user has an issue:
A) Taking a picture of their screen, emailing it from their personal email to their work email, creating a new email to IS Support and finally attaching the photo to that email.
B) Doing a print screen, printing the print screen in black in white ink, scanning the print screen they just printed and having the scan emailed to their work email, creating a new email to IS Support and finally attaching the scan to that email.
[deleted] ยท 142 points ยท Posted at 22:56:48 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
koalafiediswear ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:41:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is the funniest thing I've read all day
The_Original_Yeti ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:57:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed!!!
trowzerss ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:52:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, you should have put a trigger warning on that comment. So many people put screenshots into Word documents! And if they have multiple pictures? Multiple Word documents! I did once have a marketing person send me a powerpoint show with her errors, because that was the only program she was comfortable with :/
realistidealist ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:33:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I at first imagined she made a Powerpoint presentation about the errors, with captions and transactions etc.
nancyhowitt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:23:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that... Isn't that what you're meant to do??
But that's what the tech guy tells me to do, oh god he's laughing at me
mconen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:33:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your workplace may have a set of rules forbidding sending image files over the net. It could be an old rule from the early days, who knows.
a-r-c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
in outlook you can paste images directly into emails
Darth_Corleone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:40:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've had to do that for an Exec once. The image has to be in a Word doc. No excuses, no exceptions.
Sometimes it is easier to just do what they want.
Dick_In_A_Tardis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma calls me a turkey, I love you.
outofbeta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The sad part is that I routinely receive escalated tickets that start with our help desk like this. Screenshot of remote session with the user pasted into a word document and uploaded to the ticket.
TheDiddler69710 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:34:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Black AND white
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 00:59:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Around 1998 I was 13 or so, and my parents drove us 4 hours to another city to see my grandparents, who had requested my father to look at their computer because it wasn't working. (My father worked for IBM since the 80s.)
I figured before he had a look at it I'd give it a shot. I turned on the computer, turned on the monitor... it worked fine. My grandmother comes in squeeing and hugging me, "Oh, you clever girl! What did you do?"
She wasn't turning the monitor on.
YeastInVagMakesBread ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:21:39 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a velociraptor?
clykel ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 21:10:54 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend, me and a another kid were setting up computers in school one time, my friend was moving a mouse around the see if it is working and the kid next to him said "don't move it around a lot, you'll slow down the computer" this kid is already redneck dumb but when he said that it killed my insides. My friend said when he looked at me, I had the face of pure pain and disappointment.
akira410 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:36:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can remember when MP3s first started becoming a thing. My computer could barely play them. If I moved the mouse around it would cause the song to skip. Ahh, the good old days. It really whips the llama's ass.
JasTHook ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never had a sound card but I had speaker.drv which did an amazing but appallingly bad job of playing wav over the PC speaker
akira410 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh man... I remember doing stuff like that. I wrote this little hang man game in pascal. it was all ascii, of course. I modified the ascii char set in the program to change some character into a little spine shape so when the dude died his body would separate from his little ascii head and you could see his spine.
I also took a microphone and recorded myself cracking two pecans together to obtain a nice sickening crack for when the break happens.
Vitztlampaehecatl ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:26:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I have a couple of old computer lying around that aren't fast enough to handle moving the mouse incessantly.
clykel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:36:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The computer we had could handle anything fine
Eskoala ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:19:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe his one at home could not because it was exceedingly cheap/old?
Jabathewhut ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 23:36:40 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once got paid fifty bucks to send a short email for a customer
Lizzie7493 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just found out the other day that the hardware/software store near me charges 17euros to install an antivirus software (that the client has to provide, of couse). If this is a thing, maybe I'll put up some paper ads saying I'll do it for 10e and still get some cash.
screennameoutoforder ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 05:41:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When Windows 95 first came out, a neighbor called me to come over because he had "turned the screen blue" on his new computer.
I was a popular neighborhood tech since, as a child, I'd repair computers for a candy bar.
Anyhow, guy did indeed turn the screen blue. The background was blue. The icons were a matching blue. The text beneath the icons was blue, too.
Clicking randomly would open programs. And you could highlight or drag the blue stuff. But everything was a lovely matching shade of blue.
I just reinstalled Windows. The computer was brand new anyhow. To this day I still haven't a clue how he thoroughly blued his computer.
The_Farting_Duck ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:39:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He clearly blue himself.
jaybuck34 ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 20:51:30 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Told a guy in his 50s I was training to forward an email and he picked up his laptop and moved it about 2 inches forward on the desk and then looked at me and said "now what?"
Fuego_pants ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 23:27:27 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I desperately want to believe he was making a dad joke
jaybuck34 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:31:27 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not a dad joke, actually happened to a guy that had been working in our restaurants for 30 years and we brought him into the operations side due to his legs and feet giving him problems.
Fuego_pants ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:03:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bless his heart
Emeraldcalyx ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:22:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I easily believe this. My now ex brought home his new iPad from work. Opening screen says "slide to unlock". He took the iPad and forcefully slid the whole tablet about 8-10 inches across the table. He did it several times getting more and more angry that it wasn't working. I was choking on my laughs before I could suggest that he swipe the screen (this was about 5 years ago and I hadn't used a tablet or smart phone at that point yet either). I do hate reading some of these post-50's stories, as if age is a reason to be unobservant, uninformed, and unwilling to learn. I'm in that range but have figured things out and can troubleshoot a lot without any formal training. I do grant that some of the truly naive ones by elderly who have absolutely no computer experience can be cute, but anyone still active in the workforce shouldn't be so computer illiterate.
Happy_Neko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:44 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! My mom is in her early 60s and has a smart phone (that she uses without issue) and is a wizard on excel and is still my go-to if I need to know how to do something with it (before Google, even).
Age is no excuse; it's pure apathy and apathy alone.
coolbeans_dude98 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:45:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought you were
Then I read the rest of it
Steffisews ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:59:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching a class in Customer Service....this was in the late 90's. I said 'Ok, pick up the mouse, find the cursor and point it at the xxxx on the screen'. Kept hearing a bonk, bonk, bonk noise. Yup, someone picked up the mouse, found the cursor and was busy trying to reorient the cursor by touching mouse to screen.
123AJR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:56 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He was just fucking with you.
jaybuck34 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:31:37 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope he wasn't.
Thesisitpansit ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 00:01:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother taking a picture of her computer screen using her phone to screenshot. I told her how to use print screen and she refused to use it because it is too complicated.
locks_are_paranoid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People like this really need to be less idiotic.
MagnusCthulhu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:10:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If they ask for help and refuse to learn because "it's too complicated", I refuse to help. Simple as that.
kefefs ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 00:40:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My old boss in the early/mid 2000s was really old school and didn't get along with his cell phone very well. It took him a while to figure out how to use his company-issue flip phone, with him breaking it or dunking it in water or his/someone else's coffee pretty often out of frustration. Then his ex wives started calling him at work all the time and he didn't want to block their numbers for some reason, and he started breaking his phone more often.
This continued about three years. When he'd wreck his phone, he'd just throw it at me or my colleagues and say "reboot it", apparently not knowing what that means. What we'd do is just requisition a new cell and put all his contacts on it. At one point one of my coworkers started keeping a stash of spare phones in her desk drawer.
APurpleBear ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:28:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this is stolen from Leroy Jethro Gibbs.
Jahvazi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:42:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is
APurpleBear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Psst(that's the joke)
AlexandrinaIsHere ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:54:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really... Was slapping involved?
Jaicobb ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 19:15:37 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I helped an elderly co-worker with her pc. I kept saying open this or click on that and she would literally click the icon once. I said you have to double click it. She had no idea. She still doesn't.
She was always late for meetings because somehow outlook would just close itself down. She didn't know she closed or know how to open it.
Sir_Mumbleton ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:48:45 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On a related note, it infuriates me when someone double clicks a pinned app on the task bar when you only have to click it once.
TaterNbutter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:22:15 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They also always seem to smash the mouse button really hard when double clicking to.
annihilating_rhythm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:41:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I keep doing this because of muscle memory. It makes me mad.
Dragonogon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:06 on September 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait you can single click pinned items?
Well, fuck me in the ass, and call me Johnny. That was something I didn't know.
mconen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:00:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is a clear logic and a simple set of rules on whether to click, double-click or right-click. It's far beyond my understanding how some generally smart people who use computers daily don't have this figured out.
Sticky32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, exactly! I constantly have to watch my father and uncle struggle with this concept with almost every click. I try to tell they the rules to it but it never seems to help...
mconen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:11:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is not able to do anything on a computer without specific instructions. I mean this literally, as in literally literally.
But recently, after some 27 years of living in a house with at least one computer, she has learnt that on desktop view you double-click to open an application or a folder, and on internet (which she still needs help to get "into") you use single clicks. I'm hoping to see her learn all the rules within the next 2-3 decades.
Agarax ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:39:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's amazing people like this somehow don't get fired.
JasTHook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, double clicking was a silly idea from the start.
Jaicobb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:15 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't even get me started on the Triple click.
Dragonogon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:28 on September 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Triple click?
[deleted] ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 21:28:54 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother didn't know what the space bar was for..
Magintosh ยท 95 points ยท Posted at 22:53:47 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's where astronauts go to drink.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Go to bed, mister
Breadmako ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's the cantina from Star Wars
I_A_H_G_S ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 22:11:17 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
whousesspacebaranyway?
fantabularistical ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:49:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read that in Jontron's voice. No idea why.
GLOOTS_OF_PEACE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
when was this?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:23:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Last year sometime. She only used the laptop to go onto social media to play games and to type url's. She never needed to use the space bar until she had to do something for work on Word.
beeblud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did she ever use a typewriter or anything?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:24:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, her line of work never required anything like that until last year where she took up another role on top of her original role!
rumdiary ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 22:27:51 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Former Director of <charity> who was personal friends with the Queen: "I want a LinkedIn profile!"
Me: "Are you sure? It's almost like a tool to spam your friends"
"I want one"
1 hour later, after accidentally firing off emails to several people who won't want emails
Director: "well why would I want this?! This is useless to me?!"
Yep
karmagirl314 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Which queen?
rumdiary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Elizabeth II
karmagirl314 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:11:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't picture her having friends.
curry_in_my_beard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Camila Batmangelidh?
rumdiary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope hah, nice try though
jak140990 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:23:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He probably could have used LinkedIn properly considering his position, but obviously you were the wrong person to show him.
rumdiary ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:27:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's an impressive series of incorrect assumptions.
jak140990 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:55:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You brushed off LinkedIn as " a tool to spam your friends". This person, which I admit I was wrong for assuming was a man, is friends with the Queen. LinkedIn is all about building connections. She was the perfect candidate to use LinkedIn. Maybe she was computer illiterate, but not because she wanted to use LinkedIn. That was a good idea.
kpanand ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 02:35:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A colleague told me that she is going to reuse the printed sheets by printing a blank word documents so that the paper will be clean again without any contents.
MagnusCthulhu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha. That's some top tier logic.
ahobopanda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:36:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But... Did it work?
alexmitchell1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:18:12 on September 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, it wouldn't. Printers work by putting ink or toner onto the page, it doesn't take it off. If you printed a blank word document over a printed page, nothing would happen.
Ted_Denslow ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 19:42:16 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad is adamant about keeping his email cleaned out... because he doesn't want it to take up all his memory.
Thomasasia ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 21:30:29 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously he has his emails synced onto a ram drive!
Plasma_000 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:17:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He reads his emails at light speed off his ramdisk
epicgrowl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:11:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, your so computer illiterate. I just read them of my GPU, it's the graphics processing unit, so it comes in better quality graphics.
reIuctant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Screw GDDR5, HBM FOR THE WIN!
KDBA ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:58:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I take it you've never seen Thunderbird chugging under the weight of 80,000 emails in the inbox?
OneRedSent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Outlook is worse!
itz4mna ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:04:11 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's clearly had to deal with Eduroam and its fucking data caps.
colouredmirrorball ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:54 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In what backwards part of the world does Eduroam have data caps?!
itz4mna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:43 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Rural Wales, specifically Aberystwyth. 12GB a day which is easy when you're an obsessive streamer.
Avatar_ZW ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:03:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Flashbacks to the days of hotmail accounts with a massive 2 MEGABYTE LIMIT!
demonmutantninjazomb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:40 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He is probably using the terms memory and storage interchangeably.
OneRedSent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:10:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's thinking of his read-only memory, not his random-access memory.
Ted_Denslow ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:06:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No. He thinks his emails take up room on his hard drive.
funkmon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:56:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They do, depending on how he accesses his email, particularly at his office.
OneRedSent ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:11:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a feeling Ted's dad might know more about computers than Ted does. :)
demonmutantninjazomb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:32:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I see memory I accociate it with RAM not storage. So that's why I said that.
Ferndo401 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tell him to download more ram
PanicAtCalypso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom called me crying because she deleted a bunch of emails via her phone "to get more memory", and didn't realize that they were deleted from her email in general. She thought they'd still be there when she logged in on desktop.
funkmon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They would be if she was using POP, which is what is often used by email programs, which is what she is likely used to, as opposed to IMAP which has only become the standard very recently. You can set up her email program on her phone to connect to the pop server maybe.
OneRedSent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You've never dealt with a 5 GB *.pst file, have you?
Pork_Chop_Expresss ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 20:40:58 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to live within walking distance and was having some computer issues so she was coming over to use mine for a while. She called me into the office saying I must have changed something because her email wasn't working anymore. She was typing her email address directly into the url window. After I tried explaining the problem she adamantly told me that she always does it this way and it always worked. ๐ฃ
Ravinac ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 21:58:41 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a user that had a micro computer. They complained that they couldn't get the second monitor to work, so I went out to take a look. I explained to them that the second port on the back of the computer was just for another type of cable and that the computer couldn't support another monitor without a video card.
A few weeks later we get a call from the same user, who said they purchased a new video card. It was working fine, but anytime the computer was bumped the computer would die. I figured that the card was just a little bit loose. I get there and I see the most horrific sight I have seen as a tech. The have taken this HP and jammed a card like this into the computer. Now some of you may have noticed, that this card is much too large for that computer. Well they noticed that too, and decided that, rather than return the card, or call us and ask what card to get, they cut the side of the computer open. Then to hold it in place they took duct tape and taped it down. Needless to say we took away their computer privileges for several months.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:41:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...hold me
AcidHappening2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:08:40 on August 18, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Erm... I did that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ravinac ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:50:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm taking away your computer privileges.
valiantfreak ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 23:52:30 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Went to a uni lecture years ago where the lady presenting it would point the remote control at the screen to press the button for the next slide. This was despite the fact that
a) the screen was an inanimate fabric projection screen with no electrical components whatsoever, and
b) the remote control was actually connected to the computer with a cable
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 03:24:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
_Dawnlight ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:11:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:12:18 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom had the habit of jerking the NES controller upwards when she hit the jump button in Super Mario Bros.
Years later, I used an Arduino Esplora to actually implement that and showed her. She loved it.
TheLiberatedMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:04:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, I do this with my Apple remote which uses Bluetooth to connect to the Apple TV.
RockFourFour ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's also like how on Maury, people will yell at the TV screen that has the live image of their baby daddy/baby mama.
a-r-c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guilty of this, even though I know both of those things.
just seems natural to point it at the screen I guess
loserboykov ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 23:02:06 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The files are in the computer??
GunNNife ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:05:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ooo ooo ooo!
Yoursisallmine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shit what is this from?
Shveathog ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:50:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Zoolander
PM_ME_YOUR_BIG_LOAD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:51:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Zootopia
R1gger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Zootube.
ViridianKumquat ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 19:43:29 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Working with IT professionals you'd imagine they know their way around Excel, but one guy's method of counting out around 50 rows in a contiguous range was to drag a selection around them one by one while counting out loud. He then noticed that all but 3 had a particular value, so to find out the difference he opened up the Windows calculator app to figure out 50 minus 3.
Another guy, who equally ought to have known better, would type a single capital letter by toggling caps lock before and after.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:31:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
thegreenrobby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:35:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I, myself, am a caps lock typer. Still can manage a cool 85 wpm, though.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:34:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
thegreenrobby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:09:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't hunt-and-peck. The best typing comes from using all of your fingers.
themoonisacheese ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In high school, i thaught a girl that the shift key was, well, the shift key. Followed by the 30 people who were in the room, including the teacher.
AMultiColouredZebra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are a true hero
trowzerss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:00:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes when people are having a lot of problems typing their passwords I remote into their computer to see if I can figure out what is going wrong (eg sometimes there are spaces after their username that they can't see, or caps lock or num lock issues).
So many times I see:
Caps Lock is on!
types first letter
Caps notification turns off
types the rest of the password.
huskerpat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:45:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've been in IT for almost 20 years. I'm excel stupid.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:38:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are a lot of people who technically fall under the IT umbrella who aren't actually computer literate. At least this was the case at my previous job in healthcare IT.
happythoughts413 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:40:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do that with caps lock. Go into the habit when I was first figuring out how to type as a little kid and didn't know what the shift key did. By the time I was in typing classes, it was in my muscle memory. Now I type so quickly that going back and changing it would just be unimaginably time-consuming and pointless. I can still type upwards of 100 WPM.
EthanRDoesMC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:54 on December 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The second guy did it because why not
callofdukie09 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 01:27:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't figure out why her bagel was too big for the 'toaster drawer'. She was trying to put a bagel in her dvd drive. I'm 100% completely serious. She had heard 'computers can do everything.' Opened the drive on her first computer and notice it looked bagel shaped and she knew what she had to do.
PotatoOX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:25:58 on November 30, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A COMPUTER PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP
ReadingWhileAtWork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, not EVERYTHING, but almost.
Pfft, trying to use the Bagel Holder as a Toaster. What a n00b.
karmagirl314 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She probably didn't even like bagels, but her computer demanded them and who was she to refuse?
ARKB1rd44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:00 on January 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure there is a way to use SATA power to create a toaster. Toast should be able to fit into a 5.25" bay.
SMW22792 ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 20:16:22 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Father answering what he thought was the phone, which turned out to be the remote control.
kilspeed111 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:59:22 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandpa did this. He thought the phone was ringing (there was no phone near) because of a 'ding ding ding!' sound in a video game i was playing. He picked up the remote, didnt even press any button and just went "hello? This is kilspeed111's grandpa speaking". Silence. He put it back down and pretended it to be a joke. I know for sure it wasn't.
Slazman999 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 01:36:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't witness it but this always gets me
Lizzie7493 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:48:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See that's the kind of thing that only someone who knows about (internal) hardware would notice.
Next time you watch CSI/another procedural where they use UV light to look for blood or wtv, check if they're wearing goggles. Probably they are. But what about the rest of the face? Welcome skin cancer!
Canislupuscl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I saw this on TV and noticed it immediately. I was thinking to myself, "Fucking television".
Xifar_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't remember seeing that in Limitless.
GothWitchOfBrooklyn ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 10:43:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn I'm so late and have so many good ones.
Used to work at Geek Squad, had this exchange:
Customer: opens laptop can you get rid of these viruses? Me: looking at empty desktop What type of issues are you having? Popups? Customer: looks confused & points at desktop these viruses. Me: (knowing how to speak customer at this point) this picture? That's your desktop wallpaper. Those are bamboo trees. Customer: I don't know nothing bout no boo trees.
dr-steve ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 10:55:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in the day of After Dark screen savers. Kids, this was a commercial product with things like flying toasters, fish, all the stuff you get for free.
Anyway, a friend was showing it off to me. She was excited about all of the neat things it could do. Lightning storms. Swirly colors. But one of the screen savers wasn't working. It didn't display anything. No flowers, no fireworks, nothing. Completely blank.
I asked her which one it was.
"Starless night."
loungeboy79 ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 21:49:09 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my tax accounting firm, we brought in some nice but clueless newbs to work on basic personal 1040 tax returns.
One of them was constantly asking for help, which I always gave happily. My bosses complained that I was using too much time to help, so I should "let them struggle" a little bit.
The newb starts complaining that when she pressed numbers on the keyboard, the cursor would move but the numbers did not appear. I knew the "numlock" key was off, but I stuck to my boss's wishes and stayed quiet. Finally, she stands up and yells "I CAN NOT TAKE THIS ANY MORE, THIS KEYBOARD IS BROKEN!!"
This was someone with 10 years of experience in computerized accounting.
katers49412 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 23:40:53 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My family got our first computer for Christmas in 1999. My sister, who was 13 at the time, decided to set the screensaver to say "Help! I'm trapped inside the computer!" She left it on one morning when we went to school so it could download something on our awful dial-up. When we got home that afternoon, my mom was in a complete tizzy; she really thought someone was trapped in the Internet. So she turned the computer off and was trying to figure out what she could do to help this person. After my sister stopped laughing, she explained what she did and had to show the process to my mom to get her to believe it was just a joke.
We still make fun of her for it occasionally. She has a tablet and wifi now, and seems to do okay with it.
locks_are_paranoid ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:21:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is like thinking little people are trapped in the TV.
green_meklar ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:32:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cyberpunk as all hell.
tommyjohnpauljones ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 22:47:00 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to teach healthcare software, where trainees would come to 2-3 consecutive weeks of classes. In someone's THIRD week, she was moving the mouse around on the goddamn monitor screen.
Ckrapp ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 23:40:44 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My ex boyfriend once called tech support because he "broke the computer" and it wouldn't come back on. He had shut it down via the start menu and didn't know there was an actual power button. D'oh!
locks_are_paranoid ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:27:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least he's your ex.
Lemerney2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:34:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How did he turn it on in the first place?
Ckrapp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was always in sleep mode so just moving the mouse would wake it.
Lemerney2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:18:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What about when he first got it?
Ckrapp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:08:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was mine.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:48:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a 16 year old ask me if he should buy an Apple or a Mac today.
CypherWulf ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:53:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you said no, right?
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:16:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This kid is dumb and comes from money. He is leasing a brand new car with full coverage insurance and all the bells a whistles and trying to pay for it. We work at Taco Bell paha. When I showed him the next computer I'm building for ~$900 his response was "well I'm not a gamer it's just for school and browsing" as he showed me a $2500 Mac Book. Christ help this poor child.
Blackop778 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:59:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On Amazon people ask if mouse pads are compatible with operating systems :(
christair ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 11:25:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No, I can't send you the company logo because I've got only one left on my desktop and I need it."
Griffunderrr ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 11:34:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my. Our IT department sent out an email to staff nationally last week warning us of a recent email scam pretending to be the police requesting payment of speeding fine. In the email from IT they included a screenshot of the email in question, and warned us not to trust any emails requesting payments. One of me less computer literate colleagues asked me into his office for some help. He said he had an email about a speeding fine but couldnโt get the link in the email to work. Wait for it โฆ He had open the email from IT to warn us against this scam email, and was trying to click on the link inside the screenshot of the scam.
QuantumGaming1 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 23:51:06 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The overweight lame excuse of a teacher in a "Computer Essentials" class freaking out when one of my friends had a command line open running a random number generator script.
I shit you not she thought he was "Hacking the Mainframe" and told him to stop.
Also reminds me of the System Administrator at my high school and his incompetence. Our school district uses Teamviewer to monitor what students do on the computers, understandably. At other high schools in the district, the Admins use group policy to disable command line, task manager, and other things like mapping network locations and tinkering with files on C:/. However at my high school, our Admin is a twat and doesn't have any of the group policies enabled. So anyone can circumvent any security and surveillance measures on our PCs. I shit you not, you can run the command line as an administrator, and perform tasks with elevated privilege. You can end the Teamviewer task via task manager; then your session is free from prying eyes. You can even map the root folders for the student drives for an entire graduation year, ie //year2018. From there you can read/write to anyone's' personal drive in the district. I know of people who you can pay to delete peoples work off their drives.
That's just a brief list of the extreme security issues with our high school's network.
TL;DR Dumb teacher thinks kid is "hacking the mainframe" by having command line open. Also our school's sys admin's incompetence is a big security threat.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:30:29 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in high school, we discovered that we could SSH into a few routers used by the school district with no password.
Could have wrecked some havoc. Didn't but could have.
Combustible_Lemon1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:08:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
With that security policy, he could have been
[deleted] ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 19:48:38 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 20:25:12 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 20:26:50 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:28:43 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...How, though? Or are you talking about the power strip on the floor that the computer was plugged into?
rowan_fay ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 20:58:49 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i think that OP might be just plain ilitirate
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:12:05 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
rowan_fay ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 21:17:43 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
UNLIMITED POWER
ArinMuzyka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:02:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Itty bitty living space
dawgsjw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:18:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least she did plug it in.
Nixnilnihil ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:55:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
illiterate
coinpile ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:04:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
UNLIMITED POWER!
Todtgelichter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:52:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There were actually PCs that had a power outlet for plugging in the screen, so it would turn off with the PC. We had one like 15 years ago or something, not sure.
EDIT: never mind, saw OPs reply. But those existed!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:42:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:53:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...How, though? I don't see how you can plug an AWG power cable into itself, given the shape of the female end of the cable. I also don't see how you can plug an AWG power cable into itself and it's parent tower at the same time.
Lansan1ty ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 23:03:04 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not the most computer illiterate of all time, but today I told someone in an email that they were trying to log in using the forward slash / instead of the back slash \ after their domain name, and they asked me how to type the "backwards /".
It's actually really interesting how many people don't know the difference between the forward slash and the back slash.
DreaMagine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:55:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of people continue to call the slashes used in a URL "backslashes" even though they are clearly forward slashes.
To me it's obvious, the slash is leaning "forward" since English is a left-to-right writing system.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:58:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Lancair77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The funny thing about that is that brackets aren't even the same thing as a parenthesis. Brackets are these things: [ ] . That's more of an English issue than a tech issue sadly.
ferret_80 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:38:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
brackets [], Braces {}, and Parens ()
Darth_Devfly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not necessarily, I had to deal with this issue with people learning Python -- which uses both. The word "parentheses" proved to be a very big barrier in spoken conversation.
"Ohh, you mean the round brackets."
gene1113 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:39:57 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We had a girl get hired who claimed she knew how to use computers, she in fact, did not. We had to teach her when she got to the end of the mouse pad to pick up the mouse and movie it up the pad. But I will say, I'm proud of her, she was older and willing to learn. 5 years later she is still there and when I left she was doing great.
muleismyname ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:40:34 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine wanted to show me a YouTube video once. He proceeded to open Google Chrome, type in "Google" in the search bar, - Google searching Google - clicked on the link to Google.com, typed in YouTube to the search box, and then clicked on the link to YouTube. Talk about efficiency. เฒ _เฒ
C477um04 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:15:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can beat you there. Sitting in chemistry class a few years ago and the teacher wants to show us a video on youtube and she's got the screen projected onto the wall so we can see it. Googles google, types in youtube.com to the search bar. The results come up and instead of clicking the link, she copies the green url beneath the result and pastes it into the address bar.
muleismyname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sweet Jesus
I_throw_socks_at_cat ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:11:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once helped a woman who couldn't turn her computer on. Pressing the on switch did nothing, it just sat there blank. Walked her through all the usual stuff: is it plugged in, is the screen turned on, can you hear anything when you press power, etc. Nothing worked.
It turned that while, yes, the power lead was plugged into the back of the computer, the rest of it was coiled up neatly on the floor instead of connecting to a power socket. I pointed out the issue and she said to me in amazed tones "You mean I need to plug both ends in?"
Lancair77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:24:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This transcends computer illiteracy and becomes basic logic illiteracy.
Cptn_EvlStpr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:50:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And these people vote for who runs the country... Its a scary thought...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought power magically jumped from the wall to my computer.
dandu3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How can you be that stupid and still be able to live?
I_throw_socks_at_cat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Modern society is one big effort to stop people winning Darwin awards.
dandu3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking of Darwin Awards, is the site still updated or what?
Dooshbaguette ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 22:37:04 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Back in high school, 2001, this wannabe-baller/gangsta in the baggy white clothes, who always had his homies with him sucking up to him (a strange cultural encounter for art school I tells ya), always tough and "I gon beat yo mama ass" and fresh and stuff, sat down at the library computer to send an email. When he got to the "To:" field, I caught a glance of him entering "My sweetest princess", referring to his girlfriend. He later bitched about her never replying like she's not getting his mails. That ain't how it works, homie.
ExtremeA79 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:30:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ya know how people go to sleep at night and think of an embarrassing and crongey moment? This is his.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:42:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
crongey
moltenshrimp ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:33:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's /u/ExtremeA79's.
ExtremeA79 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
sh*t
DaxNagtegaal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is the internet, you're allowed to swear.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
did contact lists not exist in 2001 or...?
Dooshbaguette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't remember, but come on, does he sound like that'd occur to him?
Spazmanaut ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 01:30:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Complained her mouse wasn't working. Pointed out that the mouse was next to the orange she was holding.
lombax-j ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:16:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I use to work as an onsite computer tech, I had this one guy that I went and visited on multipule occasions, he was a hoarder and it was hard to move in his house, whilst setting up a new PC for him I witnessed him copying single emails onto blank CD's (one email per CD) to make a copy of them just incase he needed them.
Keica ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:29:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a professor in university who had scanned a document on an angle so it was crooked.
During class he was showing us the document using the projector his laptop was hooked up to. Looked at, realized it was crooked, and then picked up the laptop and tilted it to the side to try to straighten the scan he was showing on the screen.
puzzypower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Left over from the use of an overhead projector, i guess. ..
Keica ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:46:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably. He was a nice professor. We tried to hold it in, but when he picked up the laptop and tilted it most of the class burst out laughing.
He paused, put the computer down, looked at us, laughed and said "I just did something really silly didn't I?"
almostambidextrous ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:01:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[phone rings] "Can you come look at my computer? I've been working on this spreadsheet for an hour, I just touched the mouse and now all my work is gone."
...data recovery process consisted of a quick diagnostic performed visually on the application's scroll bar, followed by manual input applied upward via the mouse wheel.
incognito-bandito ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:50:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're either in the military, or have the best resume ever written.
gladamirflint ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:19:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At my school, I was charged $150 for a replacement school laptop. Here's the catch...
The district monitoring system had some malware on it, which ended up corrupting Windows. Every time I booted it up, it would ask for Admin credentials to run Windows Restore (which I had made weekly backups), and I went to the library to get the librarian's admin credentials to restore the system.
She looked at it, and insisted that the laptop itself had broken. I insisted she send it to tech support so I could talk to people who speak my language. They insist that the laptop is broken, and nothing can be done except to throw it away. I insisted they only needed to type in their frickin login credentials and all would be fine!
They took the laptop to the back room, came back with a brand new one and billed me $150.
MagnusCthulhu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:22:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ, I would've exploded, literally exploded, with rage.
dragon34 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:23 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
(โฏยฐโกยฐ๏ผโฏ๏ธต โปโโป
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:22:56 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like they decided to punish you for making them do work.
smokeandlights ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 11:20:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An older coworker wanted to buy a digital camera. He asked me about "The Megapickles and Gigglebites" with full sincerity. I had to bite my lip hard before giving him the basics (including pronunciation).
TenderGarbag ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:10:12 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/oldpeoplefacebook
kongnamul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
order reddit
cihojuda ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:49:16 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine won't be the worst one in the thread, but it's the worse one I've got. Back when my grandma and grandpa had a computer, they had a crappy one that used to freeze on a pretty regular basis. My grandma used to double-click on everything, even the stuff that didn't need to be double-clicked; and then when the computer would freeze she would double-click on everything on the screen just to see if she could get it to do something. I swear she used to end up with like eighty IE tabs open at the same time.
_Zuckuss_ ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:35:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
older (mid late 60's) coworker told me I wouldn't be able to match her speed for data entry since she had been doing it for so long... this woman had never used Ctrl + F, Ctrl + V or C and was clueless about tabbing to select
Imperator_Knoedel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Huh?
dandu3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
press tab, and it changes the text entry field
Imperator_Knoedel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:00:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah that, of course I knew that, but the choice of words made me believe you could actually select a part of a text like with Shift or the mouse.
Scacchy ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:46:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Spilled something on keyboard.
Took off a keys to clean them.
Replaced keys randomly to board.
Upset that indicated letter would not print when pressed.
...
NedTaggart ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:04:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is in 2000. I was working for a start-up internet company. The network admin was constantly hounding people about locking up their computers when they leave their desk.
I went to talk to him one day and he wasn't at his desk, but his desktop was unlocked. I asked where he was and was told he went to lunch, so I say down and sent out an email from his computer.
It said that Microsoft has issues a recall on mouse-balls, and that he needed people to bring theirs to his desk and he would give them a replacement. He gets back from lunch and there are about 20 mouse balls on his desk. He had no idea what was going on so he just started doing his thing. About 2 hrs later, the CEO's personal assistant called asking if they could get the replacement balls because they are pretty much shut down all over the place. He remained baffled until she mentioned "his" email. People returning these balls due to a recall had to be the stupidest thing I've seen.
He returned all the balls and started investigating how the email got hacked. I had to come clean on it, bwcUSe it was about to become a thing involving consultants, network audits and he whole 9 yards. I got fussed at for sending the email, but overall they were cool about it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:27:16 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
op are you ok
NedTaggart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:06:24 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but I think autocorrect may be in the throes of having a stroke or something.
Elec7rify ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 23:12:58 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother has - on multiple occasions - forced me to turn off my computer because I was "using up all the bandwidth so the TV won't work"
thegreenrobby ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:29:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
With things like Netflix being streamed from SmartTVs today, this is actually a viable concern.
Elec7rify ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:42:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish that was the case here, but no, it was just a regular TV with bad reception.
TheLiberatedMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:41:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also IP TV
Dragonogon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:18 on September 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't use netflix.
Shit is too expensive.
thegreenrobby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:46 on September 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aah! What brings you to this month-old thread?
Dragonogon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:57:05 on September 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I searched "Computer illiterate" on the subreddit, sorted by top posts of all time, and clicked this one. :)
senyor_ningu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My stepmom used to do this as well, but she had IP tv, and with the bad internet on her neighborhood, she really had bandwidth problems when more than 2 people where connected at the same time.
chiviet234 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:39:26 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Boss walks by a coworker with 2 monitors and asks "why don't you have 2 keyboards?".
piifunk ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:53:06 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Overheard an interaction instore:
Tech: "Just go ahead and enter your password."
Her: "No, I don't have one of those."
Tech: "You should, what was it when you created the account?"
Her: "Oh, I have to put that in everytime? I thought I just made a new one every time."
Rich1223 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:37:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the last two weeks of my senior year of high school, my physics teacher took a day off. He did not miss much school, but he almost always had the same plan when he took off, which involved us watching one of two videos and taking notes on them. This particular day, one of my classmates wasn't having it. While the sub was distracted, he unplugged the power to the projector, and when she went to go start the film, she found she couldn't get it to show up. Three different people from the tech department came in, trying everything in the book before the issue was figured out. The last dude walked in, immediately looked at the plug, and replaced it into the socket, while turning around to look at my laughing classmates with disapproval. It took a whole forty-five minute period to plug in a projector.
hecking_gr8 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:35:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmother's homepage on her internet browser was Google- I'm going to assume my grandfather set it. After getting a new computer or something, the same browser's homepage had been reset to whatever internet provider my grandparents used.
At a family dinner, my grandmother adamantly declared that "Google had disappeared" and wouldn't change her mind on the matter until my brother "found Google" again by setting it as her home page once more.
MonkeyRugger ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:20:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work for a large tech company in America. I work in the IT department and often help new hires set up their computers (which just entails changing passwords basically), this conversation happened last Monday:
Notice that a new hire is having a lot of restarts, and walks over
Me: Sir I noticed that your machine has restarted a few times now, is something wrong with the machine?
New Hire: Oh no, I'm just so clumsy. I keep hitting the wrong letter key for my password and so I keep having to start all over again.
This guy who is probably making twice my salary got hired somehow by this large tech company and he doesn't even know about the function of the backspace key. It is just so perplexing. Like how did he even get hired?
papablessmeme ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:34:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandpa is really bad with technology, and yet he thinks he's really good at it. Every time I visit him he wants to show me new apps he's downloaded to his iPad. He seems to think that his iPad is the only thing on the planet that can download apps. He will sit me or a family member down and have us watch while he shows us each thing the new app does. For example, last time I saw him he spent about 30 minutes showing me some magazine app where he can read articles from newspapers and magazines and buy subscriptions to magazines, etc. My family and I have a "secret code" so we can save each other when he starts trying to show us this stuff. We just cough twice quickly and one of us will "need help in the kitchen" or something. Sometimes we make each other suffer through it just to be assholes.
Also, my favorite story of him is he recently posted an article to Facebook. But instead of posting the link to the article, he copied the entire page, every single word, and pasted it into his status. Every single word. Even the advertisements at the bottom of the page, the comments, random words popped up in between the sentences of the actual "article". I don't even know how he did it. My dad and I were laughing about it together but decided we should save him the embarrassment and just not tell him what he did wrong.
ZenoCarlos ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 10:45:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"What operating system do you have?"
"My computer is black"
"No, I mean what does your computer run on?"
"Errr... what's the one with the square?"
"You mean windows? Which one?"
"windows 9"
kill me
mgoode87 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:48:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A former professor of mine gave an unplanned lecture in class on an off topic question. The professor is a business professor and was talking about cloud computing technologies when a student asked what is the cloud. The professor explained how the cloud is not connected to any computer it just exists in the clouds because of this it is a lot safer than storing files on your local computer. No never need to worry about it being hacked because it does not exist on a machine. The professor claimed once we fully figure out how to tap into the cloud and its computing ability we will not need to build anymore server farms. The professor added an extra essay question on the final to explain what the cloud is how and how it could be applied in a business setting.
projecktzero ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:34:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/gallery/p7I2hsJ
chg1730 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:05:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, just wow
Zei33 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 10:48:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Programmers who use four spaces instead of a tab. What the actual fuck is wrong with you.
AustinAbortion ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:06:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Silicon Valley has a hilarious episode about this.
m50d ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The only point in using tabs is if you want people to be able to use different tabstop settings. Otherwise using tabs just gives people an opportunity to fuck up by setting their tabstops wrong, and you're better off using spaces.
But if people work on the code using different tabstop settings, they will fuck up the formatting. Someone will use spaces to indent and it will look fine on their computer, and then anyone with different settings will see it as wrong. Since there is no way to automatically enforce that this doesn't happen (or at least I've never seen anyone actually manage to do so), it's going to happen a lot, and you're going to end up worse off than you were with spaces.
So just use spaces.
Zei33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:39 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
You're wrong. For example, we use coda where I work and my co worker uses tabs that are 2 spaces width, I use 4. Coda understands that it's a tab and changes the spacing depending on the users settings. This is how tabs are supposed to be used.
The only time this doesn't work as intended is for code like this where everything is aligned because text will always be the same size. While the tabs aren't. This isn't a problem though with all other code. Saves time, and works better. If some asshole was using spaces instead of tabs, their code would be two spaced next to my four spaced code since Coda won't resize spaces. Here's how it looks when people use spaces (for example 2 spaces and 4), this wouldn't be an issue if you used tabs. That's far worse.
C477um04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't imagine a programmer doing that. Tab is just so essential and integral to coding.
Jeremy1026 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Worse, 2 space tabbers!
Imperator_Knoedel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pfft, you people, as if one space wasn't enough. Next you are gonna tell me you use line breaks instead of making the entire code one glorious unbroken horizontal row.
Jeremy1026 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's minimized, ok Steve. Jeez!
alexmitchell1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:46 on September 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've used YAML (markup language) that can't understand tabs. You have to use two spaces instead.
Unholysalmon ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 23:55:46 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friends dad's is quiet poor with computers... One time my friends dad was using his computer and it froze in which after being told it froze he proceeded to put it in the sunlight .
chemo92 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:28:30 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad : "can you put a YouTube on a stick?
DreaMagine ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:06:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish, man.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Selfie stick + smartphone with YouTube app?
dougmantis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
YouTube is not a marshmallow.
Wrpy ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:58:16 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work for a Computer Science department, someone went through the effort of printing out a clip art emoji that was "sick" (thermometer and all) and underneath it said "I don't feel so well, I'm broken." Turns out they never plugged the power in. Computer Science professors and students can be the dumbest group of smart people.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:07:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I interned with some state troopers, and once they found out I had a minor in computer sciences I was basically the base's geeksquad. Once I got dragged over because a cop couldnt close out of excel. I thought it was a joke (they liked to prank interns all the time). I very slowly moved the mouse to the red X and closed out of the program. The other troopers laughed at this guy but I was so shocked I could only fake a smile
infinityLAO ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:53:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This just happened last week:
My mom comes into my room with her phone and ipad and tells me she is on the phone with apple and she is trying to resolve a virus she got. The guy tells me to run support.me and this is where I realize something. I ask her if she called this person and how she got the number. She shows me the ipad with safari open and the popup that says she has a virus and needs to call this number to fix it. I had ran support.me but never typed in the code he gave me and was scared I just gave this scammer all my computers information. It was extremely tech illiterate and I almost was a part of it.
colouredmirrorball ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:43:08 on August 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good that you realised in time! Once they gain access to your computer they can do all kinds of nasty stuff. They usually flash some fake virus warnings then convince you to buy a fake expensive antivirus but when you refuse they are known to get angry and mess with your data. Others encrypt your drives and demand money for the encryption key... The best thing you can do is just mess with them and if you have the time, act like you're a retard and waste their time. Every second they're on the phone with you is a second they're not scamming others.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:53:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once watched someone in class try to search for movie posters. They opened up chrome, typed in "Google.com", then typed in "Google images", and then finally searched "photo examples of movie posters". I damn near had a stroke just watching
LRM ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:02:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have to turn on the computer and open up Word for my mom so she could type something and then she would call me back to help her with printing. One time I guess she went to the bathroom or something and the screen saver came up, and she FREAKED OUT because she thought it was all gone. She has come a long way from that but is still the least tech savvy person I know. She is 61 and my 85 year old grandmother knows more than her. My mom still uses a VCR every day to tape her soaps, and uses an old film camera because she doesn't like digital because "you never get the pictures." Whenever she sees a picture on FB that she likes, she prints out the whole page- adds, comments, and all, because she doesn't know how to select only the picture. So now, on top of the boxes of pictures she has had developed over the years, there are just random, unorganized stacks of Facebook print outs. I am getting frustrated just typing this.
SpruceMoose1927 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 10:21:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I used to work for Tesco Broadband here in the UK, I think the American equivalent of Tesco would be Walmart(?), so you can imagine the type of users this company had.
One day I was answering email queries, and someone had asked a customer to send a screenprint of an error message they were getting. Rather than using the printscreen function on the keyboard, the customer had lifted their bulky CRT monitor (this was 12 years ago) on to their scanner and sent us the image that way. I wish I kept a copy of the picture!
ahobopanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Walmart is a grocery/general goods store. If Tesco Broadband has something to do with cellular and Internet stuff, the equivalent would probably be AT&T or Time Warner Cable.
SpruceMoose1927 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:09:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tesco is a grocery/general store, one of the biggest in the UK.
ahobopanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought you said Tesco Broadband?
Pattymck ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:21:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a place that sells and fixes computers. One day I had a customer come in and buy a laptop. She came in and looked at all of the laptops, we have quite a few, picked out one, nothing special about it, and then left. About half an hour later our store receives a phone call. It's the lady. I pick up the phone. She ask, 100 percent serious, "How do I open it?". Mind it is not one of the older ones that has the little button locks on the front. I was slightly confused by the question, so I asked if she meant that she couldn't locate the power button. Nope, she did not know how to open the laptop. I then tried to explain that she should be able to place her fingers into the middle cracking and pull apart. Silence on the other side of the phone. I explain, like a book. She is not getting it. Like a clam shell. Nothing. I just tell her to come back in and I'll show her. To which she complains that it is a long drive. She comes in the next morning and puts it on my desk, telling me she can't open it. I look at her and open it just like any other laptop. She looks at me as if I've just preformed a magic trick. I do it again, slower this time. She doesn't understand. I then recommend she gets a desktop.
TLDR- Person can't open a laptop. Does not compute.
cadre_78 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:28:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "Which browser are you using?" Them: "Mozzarella Firefox"
Uncle_Diamond ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:58:21 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom buys brand new MacBook Pro. Has high speed wifi at the house. Asks me for directions and proceeds to write them down using the macbook pro as a steady board.
noramiamillenial ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 03:30:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry your schools failed you or perhaps English is not your first language.
What message did you try to convey?
tinkerbell72311 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:46:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They said 'mom has an awesome computer, and used it as a surface on which to hand write directions."
I_done_a_plop-plop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Expensive to use as a hard surface, but why is this bad? If she is walking or driving, a scrap of paper in a pocket is much more useful than a file on a macbook.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think they were talking about directions as in 'how do I do X on my new laptop?'
I_done_a_plop-plop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That makes more sense. I am foolish. Context.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:52:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
holy shit lol
DaPino ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:15:05 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was interning at a big company in the IT department, mainly performing tech support. The computer illiteracy was through te roof there altough there's one story that stands out because ot actually made me nope the fuck out of there.
Someone asked me how he could ensure his files were safe in case his computer broke. I told him to "back up his computer frequently.
One month later, I get a ticket from said user about his computer breaking down. I go down there and yup, the computer didn't do shit. I asked him what he did right before the crash and he says he backed up his computer and after that the lights went out. I said solething along the lines of: "great, then we can restore it to a new computer and get you on your way immediately. Now, where did you back it up?"
I get a confused look from him as he says: "Well, there obviously" while pointing at his computer. I told him to explain to me exactly what he did. He said he'd show me and proceeds to walk up to the computer, grabbed it with both hands and pushed it back.
I tried to contain myself, asked him if I could take a look and pulled the computer away from the wall. He had squeezed that thing so fucking hard against the wall that multiple connectors had just broken off.
I just stood up, walked right past him, went back to my department and told someone else to deal with it because I didn't have enough experience to deal with that shit.
And there are many other stories I have about that place. Each one an entirely different flavour of stupidity.
PhotonSharpedo54 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:39:06 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend didn't know how to shut down his phone, he kept on going to settings and trying to search for a power off button
I told him to hold down the power button
Mrspartacus575 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:18:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can somewhat understand this one. You're usually not supposed to power down a computer using the power button so he might have thought this applied to phones as well.
blkhatRaven ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:16:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The light from my dad's computer monitors was keeping my mother up at night. So she threw a coat over it. It over heated of course.
Xbotr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:46:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why not turn it off?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:23:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's the illiterate part.
---LEMON--- ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:47:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in 2nd grade, a kid in my school computer lab tried to print out a .gif
evan555alpha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:52:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did it get printed in a giphy? /s
AequitasKiller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:38 on August 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good god, lemon!
ntpeters ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:09:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In highschool my computer teacher had ordered copies of Photoshop Elements and Premier Elements (both for Windows) for a couple of computers in the lab, and asked me to install them because she didn't know how.
I told her that since the Premier installer was a DVD we'd need to get an external DVD drive since the Windows machines only have CD drives. She got angry and told me that first of all she didn't want it on the Windows computer, she wanted it on the Mac. Secondly, we have a DVD player connected to the classroom TV, so just use that. I tried to explain to her all of the reasons why that wasn't possible, so she said she would call the school district tech support to have them tell me how to do it since I clearly didn't know how.
She got them on the phone and handed it to me with a smug look on her face. I took the phone and told the guy "she wants me to install a Windows program to a Mac using a DVD player from the TV" and handed the phone back. She quickly got very angry, yelled at them, hung up the phone, and told me to get out or I'd get detention. A few days later I found out she called Adobe to demand a refund because "what they sent me doesn't work!".
Some context: this computer teacher was originally the typewriter teacher from way back when. She knew nothing about computers, but they made her the keyboarding teacher when computers came along because she obviously knew typing. Later on, since she already did "computer things" for that class they made her the teacher for all computer classes.
richmasa ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:58:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is a call I received once while doing internet tech support:
Me: What seems to be the problem Sir?
Him: I'm calling to let you know that terrorists are sending coded messages to my email.
Me: Really? How are you sure it's terrorists?
Him: Its a bunch of jumbled letters I cannot understand. Looks fishy to me.
What was really going on was he did not have the correct language pack installed to read the spam messages he was receiving. I tried repeatedly to explain this to him, while also doing my best not to laugh in this guys face. What he said next made me lose it...
Him: It's okay son (obviously this was an old man). You do not need to explain anything to me. I'm just calling to let y'all know what is going on. I have already forwarded all of these messages to Homeland security.
I could not take it anymore. I had to mute the guy so I could bust out laughing! This old man actually spammed homeland security.
UseApostrophesBetter ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:26:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not in IT. I just happen to know that to fix them, you usually have to make sure they're plugged in, on, and restart them.
I was called over to the self-professed CTO of the company I was working for to figure out why one of her programs wasn't working. She'd click on it in the Start bar, watch it fly off the screen, and go back to the Start bar when she'd click on it again. I took a few post-it notes off of her second monitor and found the window. The monitor was even on, and you could see the shape of the window through the post-it notes.
But I'm the asshole for "making her feel stupid". I didn't even say anything. I just removed a post-it note or two and walked away.
vdragonmpc ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:39:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked with this lady at a 3 letter named company.
She 'needed' dual monitors to be productive and even specified the size and brand.
She also could only drink water luke warm as cold water from the water tank upset her tummy. We had a separate delivery just for her.
UseApostrophesBetter ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:55:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ever work with someone who insists that people who eat meat use a different sponge in the kitchen? Same person as post-it note lady.
That place was a nightmare. I'm so glad I'm not there anymore.
vdragonmpc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:07:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL, our lady put notes EVERYWHERE All kinds of passive aggressive childish notes. What was really funny was the company events. Morale was so good along with the 'team' atmosphere no one wanted to come. Even to events where you got a bonus.
From what I have heard they have serious employee churn now. Most talent has fled and they are paying a high premium for 'new talent' that stays a set period and bolts for a real job.
UseApostrophesBetter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did we work at the same place?
vdragonmpc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was the person so loud that you could hear her braying laugh through a full floor and walls?
Vendors used to beg not to have to deal with her directly. I remember joking with a rep at a large company about 'cookies would cover it' and getting a huge tin of cookies.
UseApostrophesBetter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:46:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A: Yes, but it was her high heels that she insisted on stomping around in while wearing yoga pants and a sports bra. If she hadn't been the real-life embodiment of Cruella DeVille, she could even have been hot.
B: Vendors didn't want to deal with her because the policies she mandated led to GlassDoor reviews that the vendors couldn't distance themselves from fast enough. One such policy was to change a $60 weekly beer/wine budget for drinks in the company fridge after 4 to "Now you can bring in your own drinks from home when you're here after 5! Isn't that great?".
50-hour work weeks are expected (no overtime), so people were almost always there after 5. Coming in early wasn't an option, because the management team never came in that early, and if they didn't see you, you weren't working.
vdragonmpc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:38:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most definitely not the same. She was out the door at 5 on the dot unless she was showing off for the new superstar bossman.
If she wore yoga pants it would not have been a good thing. The last policy I remember was making sure to call the customer directly before emailing all their account info in reply to whoever emailed.
God I still hear her braying laugh and I have been gone for a while it echoes in your skull.
TenderGarbag ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 22:12:33 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The worst now is the fact that professors can get their PhDs and be masters of their trade, but are completely unable to figure out the autoplay feature on youtube
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:20:51 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I enter the room to witness this:
"Yes I'm putting the mouse on the top left corner of the window!"
While on top of a chair. Near the office window.
I left the room.
AspieSquared ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:23:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother is usually quite computer literate. She's been using computers constantly since the late eighties and knows her way around them, but recently, she got a tablet, and it changed her. I was showing her an article on my laptop, and she reached out and started swiping at the screen, trying to scroll it. She thumbed at the screen for a good ten seconds before turning to me and asking me why it didn't work. I stared back at her agape (because seriously, she's used this exact laptop before, she had to know) and when she eventually realized she was so embarrassed she went and hid in the bathroom. The worst thing is, that wasn't the last time either.
groceryfiend ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:34:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my laptop has a touch screen. i've been at work a few times and gotten real close to touching my work screen to do something.
Frozen5147 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, so many things have touch screens now, that she might have gotten used to it. It's like the first thing I try when I test out laptops at stores.
cky311 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:42:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother was taking an intro to computing class. At the request of the teacher, the class was told to close some of the opened windows on the computer screen. My mother gets up and closes the actual windows in the classroom. I love my mother!
connorzman ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:51:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmas homepage was set to some really shoddy toolbar/search engine malware site. So I decided to change it to google. She then proceeded to ask me the next day why I "downloaded Google on her computer" and asked me to remove it.
green_meklar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:35:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So you set her homepage back to the malware site, right?
Nightvision_UK ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:55:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nearly got a disciplinary for using a database to store records instead of the spreadsheet that everyone in head office was using.
Fortunately tech support stood up for me.
CariocaArgentino ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:47:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dont know if this qualifies as computer illiterate.
I used to work as an HP rep. I was standing amongst a sea of computers in front of the computer dept in a well known store.
Guy comes up to me and asks where are the computers. I just stood there and gave him a blank stare until he realized how big of an idiot he was.
SheaTheEngie ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:20:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mom: Honey, can I get rid of the big black box underneath my desk? It's just taking up space.
Me: That's the computer, Mom.
alexmitchell1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:00 on September 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
or even worse: "The Computer won't turn on", then when you come you see that the computer is missing, and you ask where she put the black box. Then, she leads you to the bin.
Vincey91 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:47:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mum looking at computer: "the Internet isn't working. It doesn't have the thing where you type where you want to go"
Me: looks at computer "That's Microsoft word".
Arch_Radish ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:19:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On a general family visit several years back, my aunt calls me to look at her computer because "Half the computer is blue, half of it is gray, and I haven't been able to see anything on the screen for a month."
So I head to her house turning possibilities over in my head. Graphics card? Monitor? I'm on a visit, so I don't have most of my usual tools with me.
So I get to her house, she turns on the "modem" (desktop tower) and starts ranting about the problem again as the computer boots. I'm watching. POST seems okay, no weirdness with the splash screen. I wonder what she mea...OH MY GOD.
She was running Windows Me with no wallpaper and a blue desktop background. She had somehow pulled the old school gray taskbar halfway up the screen and not even attempted to lower it. As she was pointing excitedly and explaining how her "computer" (monitor) had been like this for over a month, I clicked and dragged the taskbar to its original height.
She was dumbstruck and declared me a genius. She demanded to know how I did it. I tried explaining it to her three times. Don't think she ever understood. They'd seriously been using only the top half of the screen to browse internet, read email, and play low res Walmart games for over a month.
shifty1776 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:00:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma got a ticket and ended up needing to go to online traffic school. I figured I'd help her get started as she is 100% computer illiterate. I asked her to move the mouse up to click on a part of the site that was higher on the screen than her cursor. She then proceeds to lift the mouse up off the desk and click while holding the mouse in the air.
And that's the story of how I went to traffic school for a ticket that wasn't even mine.
AceEpocs ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:34:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work tech support for a university and we had a ticket come in from a lady who was having a legitimate problem. We asked her if she could send a screenshot of the error message to help us solve her problem.
She: 1. Took a photograph of the screen 2. Uploaded it to the computer 3. Printed it out 4. Marked it up 5. Scanned it back in 6. Opened the scanned image in word 7. Took an ACTUAL screenshot of that 8. Sent us that image
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:02:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here we go.
I work as an IT tech for a company that has around 600 users on site. One user calls Helpdesk saying "when I type, sometimes my computer freaks out and does random commands". We remote in to her workstation and watch her type something in word. Randomly it would start pasting, asking to print, save, etc. We replace the keyboard thinking it might be broken. Didn't work, same thing is happening.
This continued for roughly a week while we were trying to diagnose the issue. Finally we send someone over there and watch to see how it was happening.
As it turns out, this lady was sitting in such a way that when she would use her keyboard, her tit would sag on the Ctrl key and cause a whole slew of commands as she types.
Not wanting to cause awkward embarrassment, we replaced the keyboard again but this time added a wrist support to keep a little distance between her keyboard and boobs. Thankfully that worked.
Butta_Butta_Jam ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:49:17 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My cat made my wife's display so fucked up we had to Google how to fix it.
sit_ur_ass_down ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:05:07 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my dad asked me how to bold the text on a random website to somehow enhance his reading experience. still dont know exactly what he meant
seymoredjibouti ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 21:07:22 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You shoulda just pressed ctrl + until he was happy
Vitztlampaehecatl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:27:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ctrl+what?
/s
trowzerss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:08:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also, Ctrl+0 solves an awful lot of website display issues.
locks_are_paranoid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think he just wanted the text to be bigger. Given how advanced computers are, its not inconceivable that a browser can enlarge the text on a website for your viewing.
puddlejumper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It means he probably needs glasses and can't read the text very well so wanted you to do something such as bolding the font so he could see it better. Enlarging it all would probably have been just as adequate.
mconen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:15:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are browser plugins that do exactly that (and more), tho.
technocassandra ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:04:02 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, I wasn't going to respond, you youngsters are all more savvy than me, but I'll chime in. Back in the days of dial-up, two friends my age wanted to join the cyber age. I directed them what box, monitor, printer, etc to buy, and then set them up for both of them. I figured it wouldn't be too hard to teach them the basics of Word/Excel/web browsing.
Neither of them got farther than email. One would save webpage links to her desktop, and then be completely confused when she'd try and open them when she was not online. I was never able to get it through to her. The second one could.not.get. attachments. She barely even got email, but an attachment was beyond her. She figured since she's given it away, it was now gone.
I never did that again.
EatSleepCryDie ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:24:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend works in tech support for a printer company. Shouldn't name the company but it's a massive company from Japan with a red and white logo. His calls are insane more than half of the time.
Customer: my printer is printing very lightly, I can barely read it!
Bf: you are probably out of ink sir, if you have an ink cartridge nearby I can assist you in changing it.
Customer: okay when are you gonna get here? My address is (place that is in another state across the country).
Bf: no sir, I can only help you over the phone, I'm currently in (our state and city).
Customer: oh well that's ridiculous. I have some ink, for uh.....an HP printer.
Bf: I'm sorry sir but that is not going to work, you need ink cartridges compatible with the (brand) printers.
Customer proceeds to curse him out and hang up. He heard from a coworker that the man called back because he had destroyed his printer by forcing the hp cartridge into the printer, destroying the track it was sitting on. He demanded a warranty....but was just three weeks outside of it. Bet that felt good for my bf to hear.
Vankruyssen ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:40:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma one asked me to teach her how to use the Internet. Confused I asked her what she meant. She had no idea how to even enter a domain name. She has never used the Internet. I tried for 2 hours to explain it to her and she eventually gave up. I mean I don't know how to explain it in a manner other than you enter the domain name and go to the website. I told her if she wasn't sure where to go to use Google to find the website. I also told her she could effectively go to Google and use that as a "base of operations" but she just had no idea.
Thank god for apps. That seems to be the only way she can use technology at all.
TLDR: Grandma couldn't use the Internet at all.
BlindSoothsprayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But how does she find the apps?
Vankruyssen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I installed them all for her. When she wants a new one someone has to go over and install it for her. She can only use a tablet because it has the easiest interface for her.
Wayln ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:17:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the 6th grade my technology teacher could not get his computer to work he called in the other tech teacher to assist him in figuring out what was wrong with it after 30 mins of trying to figure out what was wrong they realised it was unplugged this was the man that was paid to teach us.
BlindSoothsprayer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:02:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I sentence you to learn about periods!
MerElfFin ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:54:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've posted this before::
I needed my w2s from work and my oh so helpful grandpa decided he would assist me in finding the website. I tried to use his laptop but he insisted on figuring it out himself.
After 20 minutes of the website not popping up, I said "ugh. Just Google it!"
He got really pissy and said, "I'm sick of people telling me to Google things! I don't fucking have Google!"
DoneUpLikeAKipper ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:56:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had this pic on the wall of the shop, yea full IT crowd laughs. http://i.stack.imgur.com/k2HD5.jpg
The number of people that tried to buy such a cable from us was shocking (no pun there at 5V & 500mA!).
_kemot ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:30:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
me as a student at an university working as IT Help guy:
1) Secretariat calls me she has PC Problems and people were using her pc without her knowing.
2) I go down and she tells me that somebody is accessing her pc while she is away
3) She is telling me that she is taking her keyboard home for a long time to prevent the Hackes to get to her PC
4) She is clearly paranoid and I want to prevent her taking her keyboard home all the time. She places hairs in the room to see if things got moved.
5) I joke around telling her this makes no sense as somebody can bring his/her own keyboard and just plug it in.
6) I joke around more telling her that its better to take the Monitor as its so heavy
7) I go home later that day
8) Next day I get a call somebody stole an Monitor and I need to get a new one :/
Yep. Turns out she took the TFT Monitor home with her. Later she told that she did it because the IT Guy told me its the best way to prevent Hackers accessing your system.
I know she was taking the bus and I always imagined how funny it would be seeing an older lady with an monitor going home from work and next day going back to work again.
meccaryn ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:01:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When my boss used to receive an email, he'd print it out to read it.
Then he'd type his response into word and print it.
Then he'd take both papers to his son, who would scan the response and send it.
Then the papers would be stapled together and filed.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:09:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin used to find articles online printed them and type all the info into word to do her homework.
She didn't know copy and paste
Jagvetinte123 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:07:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom called me to ask for help becouse her internet was down.
Me: double click on "my computer"
Mom: How can i do that from over here!?!?
Me: No not MY computer, the icon named "my computer" on your desktop.
Mom: there's no icons on my desktop.
Me: ok, so what do you have on your desktop?
Mom: a cop of coffee, some pictures of the family and my hand bag.
Me: gtfo.
WhoDatJoebear ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:28:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My boss must like to click on every shiny button he comes across on the internet, because he'll watch those "free presentations" about "secrets 'they' don't want you to know about" (every single one of them is black text on a white screen with some infomercial voice reading the same text that's on-screen). I used to bother googling a random phrase I'd overhear from it, do 30 seconds of research, and call out to him "it's a scam!," but I've decided I'm just gonna let this play out and see if he ever actually falls for any of this BS.
I also get to hear him complain about how slow his computer is daily. Maybe you'd solve some problems by not rocking Windows XP on a computer you bragged about getting on Black Friday years ago when I started working here in 2008.
EDIT: He also fell for that "something's wrong with your computer, call Microsoft at [some BS scam number] now" scam. I was back in my office, so I didn't know what was going on until I overheard enough of the conversation to get suspicious. I wound up having to walk up to him holding up a sheet of paper that said "HANG UP THE PHONE RIGHT NOW!"
I explained that if I hadn't intervened when I did, things would've gotten worse. He went outside for a smoke break and then the idiot scammer tried to call back and deal with me. Idiot scammer said he'd been disconnected and wanted to speak with my boss. I told him "oh, you didn't get disconnected, I simply explained to him that this is a scam" and, wouldn't ya know it, the scammer hung up on me after that.
googleyness1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:33:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Boss overheard some of us talk about dual screen and boosting productivity...decided on a whim to go on a saturday off work to best buy and proceeded to purchase 48 new pcs and screens with the help of a salesman who had just been hired on as a first time job. The salesman and himself decided that a dual screen setup these IT savants spoke of must consist of 2 pcs, monitors, keyboards, and mice per employee and employees would for sure get double the work done...he then paid his nephew and some friends to spend the weekend setting them up so his IT guy could come in and have everything ready after the holiday weekend...this made the returns for the half that needed return a giant pain in the ass...luckily we all got new pcs out of his generosity rather being stuck on our hampster cages.
ahobopanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's a hampster cage?
N0Tbeyonce ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:35:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in elementary school, around 5th grade, my mom asked me for some help on the computer. She said she needed help writing a business letter and asked if I could help her. She had already opened the program she intended to use.
It was Kid Pix.
OldGuyGeek ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:39:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I help my wife's parents with their computers. Also we bought them both cellphones (Don't ask me why..). So ever since Windows 8 came out we have spent a lot of time educating both of them on email, contacts, Facebook, etc. Even showed them how to use Cortana to easily create appointments and reminders. Repeatedly. Several Times. Again and Again. Thought we had made real progress.
So, I have setup their computers with TeamViewer and Skype so I don't have to drive 30 miles each time they have a problem.
Fast forward to 2 days ago I was on Skype (his PC on wired connection) trying to help her dad with entering a Wi-Fi password on one of the phones (an ATT tech had changed their Wi-Fi password and didn't tell them). Her dad (85) tried 3 times but it didn't work. So I decided I need to make the drive over there to help. I asked him what his schedule was like for the next day.
Fully expecting him to open Windows Calendar, I watched on Skype as he turned around to a side desk grabbed his hard-copy Franklin planner to check his schedule.
I just wish I had been recording a video of it...
I get this kind of problem all the time on my YouTube channel. While it's frustrating to answer some questions over and over again, it's the comments that thank me for the help that make my day and keep me publishing videos. Even though they are on YouTube and have some computer savvy, they still have problems with something (defaults for Photo App is a big one).
Just try and do what I do. Help them and smile internally. It will make your day when they thank you profusely. I can't tell you how many YouTube channel owners have thanked me for showing them how to install Movie Maker on Windows 10. 'Saved my channel'.
Three years now and the number of 'Thank You's far outweigh the angry ones. Oh, and her parents think I'm a computer GOD.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:43:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I found this thread way too late, but here we go:
I used to work in a call center. If you've never worked in one, know that every time someone gets a particularly good story or hilarious caller, we share it immediately with the rest of the floor.
One of my coworkers was working with this very sweet old man on the phone trying to fix his credit card processing software. He didn't know what kind of software he had, so my coworker was trying to determine what the icon looked like. My coworker asked, "Sir, what's on your desktop right now?"
Pause
Pause
"Uhh... some pens, a keyboard, a coffee mug... why?"
BlackManMoan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:08:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if it's computer illiterate, or just stupid in general, but a lady brought her old Dell in complaining that things were moving around when she moved the mouse in Outlook Express. When I looked at it, I noticed the separator bars were all over the place and simply but them back to where they should be. I couldn't figure out what was going on, so I had the customer sit down with me and try to re-create the problem. Well, she started whipping the mouse everywhere on the desk while randomly clicking mouse buttons. She accidently clicks and drags one of the separator bars in the process and winds up making the inbox to small to see. "There, you see that? That's my problem. How do you prevent that?" Speechless, I simply told her, "I don't know how else to put this, but to prevent that from happening again, just don't do that." She didn't understand and I had to physically show her the stupid behavior she was enacting, and explain why that was a problem.
JustAnotherDevGuy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:05:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I work as a developer for a bank. I was chilling since I had nothing to do and my co-worker, who "is a developer" too, said:
Him "Hey I'm having an error and I have no idea what it is, can you help me?"
Me "Have you checked the console to see what it says about the error?"
Him "Oh, right! Thanks."
palcente ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gary, is that you?
DrCoolHands ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:18:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
User called in with an AD password reset. Called back minutes later with another reset. Listened as they locked themselves out over the phone. Using basic temporary password. Confirmed that they did not have caps-lock on. Same deal.
"What lights do you have on in the top left corner of your keyboard?"
"I have one over the number one, and one over the teepee with the horizontal line through it."
penny_lane67 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:30:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A glass of water spilled onto my laptop while it was laying upside down so water got right in and it immediately stopped turning on. I tried to dry it out for a day and I was so convinced it was dead that, rather then call tech support, I took it in to best buy expecting them to pronounce it DOA. He gave me a look, opened up a paperclip, and stuck it in a little hole in the back and reset the damn thing in about 10 seconds. Apparently it has a feature to disconnect the battery to prevent further water damage and a nifty reset button. They were nice and sent me on my way with no charge, but I felt pretty dumb
Nephrite-Jade ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:31:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The lady at my office who "manages" IT came over to my desk, where I have dual monitors, and asked how they worked... because they weren't touching. She couldn't understand that the monitors didn't have to touch to display. Again, this woman manages our IT.
scarthearmada ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:01:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I imagine the interview went something like this:
Interviewer: I'm gonna put you in IT. Because you said on your C.V. you had a lot of experience with computers.
Lady: I did say that on my C.V., yes. Hah hah... I have lots of experience with the whole computer thing. You know, emails, sending emails, uh receiving emails, deleting emails, um, I could go on.
Interviewer: Do.
Lady: The web. Using the mouse. Mices, using the mice. Um, clicking. Double clicking. Um, the computer screen of course, the keyboard. The bit that goes on the floor down there.
Interviewer: The hard drive?
Lady: Correct.
Interviewer: Uh huh! Well you certainly seem to know your stuff. That's settled. I've got a good feeling about you, Jen. And they need a new manager.
Breadedturtle ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:29:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A couple years ago I got this email from my grandparents. They live in Canada and I live in Singapore...
jddf889 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:44:14 on January 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So my professor saw that the projector was crooked and she attempted to correct it by adjusting the computer screen.
Themaddieful ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:57:25 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My junior school IT teacher would click 'file' 'close window' instead of clicking the big red X in the corner. Every time.
locks_are_paranoid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:25:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In elementary school, a teacher actually told us that clicking X would damage the computer.
nianp ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:16:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some fucker told me that in Primary as well.
Mrrrp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:10:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And this is how she avoided an involuntary Windows 10 upgrade...
funkmon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:05:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, sometimes people like to do things in a slightly slower, but more controlled way. Many types of software minimize to the system tray when you press X, but when you close them through the file menu they actually close. He may like the assurance.
BlindSoothsprayer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:38:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I heard about some guy on Reddit who would click the big red X in the corner instead of Alt-F4. Every time.
bot_One ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doubt he knew this but Windows will remember the size and position of a window for the next time an app launches if you do File > Close instead of the X
MC_BennyT ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:41:17 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every other day, I had to guide my father through setting yahoo.com as his home page.
BoxBopChallenge ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:26:31 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The first thing that comes to mind is when Hank Hill tried using Peggy's computer mouse like a TV remote to turn it on. Fucking genius.
Zodiak213 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:20:13 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The woman who thought the CD Rom tray was a coffee cup holder for years until it spilt into the computer completely frying it is my favourite.
FafnerDeUrsine ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:40:46 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I hit the eject button, but the monitor turned off!" She kept hitting the power button....
roddz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:11:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dad unplugged my brothers laptop in an attempt to turn it off
kalgary ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:24:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Another one.
An engineer is in the production department, using a workstation that is set up to test circuit boards. Wants to turn it off. After staring at the screen for way too long, he asks "How do I shut this Linux machine off? I'm a Windows guy." The Linux machine is running KDE. Has a thing that looks exactly like a Windows start menu. I tell him "Click the thing that looks exactly like a start menu." He does. "Now click the red button that says "Leave" that is exactly where the "Shutdown" button is in Windows. It opens a small window, offering options like "Shut Down" and "Restart", etc. He stares at it until I prompt him by saying "Now click 'Shut Down'."
mentat ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:00:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom has had an iPhone for a few years. Last month she asked me if there was any way to keep the message alerts on screen a little longer since they would "go away so fast."
I showed her the notification tab and she was absolutely astonished. She's been showing her friends and it's been blowing their minds. How could they all not know this? :/
Masqueraver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:28:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm shuddering imagining a notification bar with 10000 unread messages.
Bayside308 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:09:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was just a few days ago, I went to type "t" (for Twitter) in the address bar of Chrome, and the first suggestions was "take me to Google". I guess my Mom doesn't realize that she can just type in Google, or just type the search there. Oh well, it doesn't hurt her in any way, but I still think it's pretty funny.
Blaziken99 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:59:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My computer "teacher" for middle school. Usually just makes sure the retards of 7th grade simple Word functions. Decides to bring in a motherboard and "explain" it to us. She points at the chipset, calls it the CPU. I told her that was the chipset and not the processor. She completely patronizes me and says that the CPU socket that I pointed out in fact is the heatsink. She also (somehow) forces a new age soundcard into a DIMM slot. Whenever I corrected her she wouldn't take my answers as truth by any means and even gave me a bad grade. I feel bad for her future students.
ahobopanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This hurts to read :(
false_precision ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:18 on August 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If only you could've taken photos for karma.
arielflamingoish ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:03:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grandma called on the phone for some basic instructions, we told her to right-click and she still couldn't get it to work... Ended up driving to her house to find she had written the word "click" on a piece of paper. Oh, grandma.
"Write click."
G0pherB0y ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:15:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
screen shot of a computer taken by camera from an iphone sent via email, put into a word document... the picture was of a mouse pointer on a blank white screen zoomed in so all you could see was the pointer. Helpful. Real helpful.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:40:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this is a lot to take in
Chicken_noodle_sui ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:28:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A few months ago my mum's 20 year old crt tv packed it in. I had an old 32 inch SD LCD tv sitting around so I gave it to her. Later on she calls me up and says "how do I get the channels on it?" I said I wasn't sure exactly what buttons you have to press on that tv to tune it but I said it's probably under menu. She couldn't figure it out so I said just plug in the digital set top box she was using with the analog tv for the moment and I'll fix it properly next time I'm in my home town. The next time I see her she tells me she paid 2 guys to come to her house and tune it for her. She paid them $100 for pressing a couple of buttons.
ragan651 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:04:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some TV show that I walked in on, not sure what it was. Some investigators were doing forensics on some bones of a victim. So they scanned pictures into a computer. Suddenly the computers got crazy, they spouted a bunch of nonsense, and suddenly a computer catches fire. They determined that the killer was so smart, that he put a code on the bone so that when it was scanned as a picture, it would turn into malware, which would burn down any computer with the picture on it.
This was not a parody.
jamieoliver22 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:24:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like one of the episodes of Bones. Really good show, but yeah they do have some crazy "image enhance" stuff on there.
dralcax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:00:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's some SCP shit right there
the_maffer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:57:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad kept complaining about the incessant pop up ads he was getting. "Its non-stop! The computer is un-usable!!!" I go down and have a look, use the computer normally for about ten minutes and he is incredulous. I take him to the computer for him to recreate the problem... low and behold...HE IS USING THE RIGHT CLOCK BUTTON!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:51:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
NOT THE RIGHT CLOCK
BlindSoothsprayer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:09:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least it wasn't the wrong clock. I DONT KNOW, IM NOT A CLOCK PERSON!
the_maffer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ANYTHING BUT THE RIGHT CLOCK BUTTON
Vroomvroomba ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:06:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in IT for years as a computer repair tech and the people who didn't know how a power button worked or that you had to plug things in were bad, but nothing was quite as bad as the guy who brought in a laptop soaked in urine and asked why it wasn't working.
fusedcreator960 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I want to know more!
ahobopanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was probably his cat that pissed on it, or pet rabbit.
dragon34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:17 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In university tech support. Have seen one case of animal pee in my career. 3 of human pee. (we sent them packing as we are not trained in biohazards)
PrinceofDementia ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:38:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Wait for 10 minutes for the internet to warm up before sending the email"
ivylowe ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:50:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ex-boss called me from home asking if I could help him with his emails. He preceded to ask me "Can you see my screen on your laptop?" He legitimately couldn't understand why I wasn't able to see his computer in an office 20 miles away.
pork-pies ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:52:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandpa does this. But he's nearly 90.
Also as far as I'm aware he's not working still.
maruchinsu ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:05:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my biggest friends is a teacher of IT to pre-college students.
Sometimes he also provides training for his co workers (teachers of other areas).
In the early 2000s he had to provide training to his colleagues with Word and Excel. Take note that he was in his thirties but his co-workers were >40 and the computer mouse at the time was the one with the ball inside.
In the middle of the training he literally saw one teacher doing everything correctly however that teacher was handling the mouse upside down, in one hand, while using the other hand to make the mouse ball move...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:52:32 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like some kinda eccentric FPS player's mouse grip.
flippinecktucker ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:14:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Knew someone who had a laptop with a busted keyboard. He would compose emails by copying and pasting individual letters from other emails using the mouse. He said he was always really happy when he could copy a double letter combo or even a whole word!
ethandrzb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:07:00 on December 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i feel like this could be a good idea for a game.
CitizenKing ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:21:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was hanging out with a friend after helping her move in. She, myself, and another friend are sitting around her room and she starts complaining about how her computer has been super slow and weird for a week or two. Sure enough, the screen has a weird tint to it and its running insanely slow and its getting weird errors.
We're stumped. It's not a new computer by any means, but it sure as hell isn't old enough to be having these problems. We're looking at it for ten minutes before I glance over at the tower. There's something attached to the side, a disc the size of a hockey puck. I reach over and casually pull on it, meet resistance and clunk it comes off. Magnet.
She had no idea that magnets were bad for computers, and had left a huge magnet on the side of the computer for two weeks. :|
AllyofJustice_ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:16:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the head of IT in an auto-parts distributor. The company owner is very old-school and doesn't know much about computers, so he doesn't really consider IT as an important part of the company operations, despite the whole ordeal being controlled and backed up by an ERP (Enterprise Resource Planning), which means sales, inventory, evaluation and such is done completely by the ERP and whatever I add to it. But this is not his story, this is the story about HR and wireless mice.
Not long ago, they had the idea that to be more "up to date with technology", we all would get wireless mice and keyboards. So HR bought 150 wireless mice, those that come with a little USB connector for the computer instead of Bluetooth mice. She planned to send them to each branch office around the neighboring states unpacked, because otherwise "They would just store them and would never use them" and so, as she started unpacking them, she noticed "Huh, they all come with the same USB thingy, so they must be all the same" and she started piling them together.
So, at the end, she ended up with a box full of the "USB thingies" and another box of wireless mice, and what she did was to take a random USB thingy and a random mouse, put them in a plastic bag with the name of the recipient, and send them to each office. Of course, none of them worked and since they didn't give me one (Because I was "already up to date with technology" because I use a laptop instead of a desktop), I didn't know anything about it until I started receiving calls about the "server messing up the mice".
So I got all of the mice back and had to spend the whole day sorting them. Fun times.
TheMeanDragon ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:39:43 on November 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My computer science teacher told us: "If your computer doesn't have enough specs for python." Just let that one sink in for a second.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:00:15 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least 5 times a year I have to deal with 'my computer froze up'. So I grab two double a batteries, go over to the employees desk and place the batteries in the mouse. Voila.
gianmahko ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:37:13 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"What's a control panel?"
hobocat76 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:51:21 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Talking with my uncle about my computer set up. He says his is slow as shit, asks if I can help him out. I agree, proceeds to tell me not to delete Facebook...
The_Trumpinator ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:57:34 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My grandma deleted a ton of important emails because she thought the emails would still be in her phones inbox since she only deleted them on the pc. It took me a long time to explain to her that deleting an email deletes it from all devices.
C477um04 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:21:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least she did something wrong relating to a fairly new technology, that is linking between devices and not something that's been around since xp.
MagnusCthulhu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. This is not necessarily an intuitive thing for someone to understand if they're not super tech-savy. I mean, it's definitely obvious to those of us it is obvious to, but I wouldn't think this was a particularly ignorant error, considering some of these stories.
Jeremy1026 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Too bad she is using an IMAP server, SMTP wouldn't sync across devices.
Bob-Berbowski ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:22:04 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boss wanted me to train his older brother in AutoCAD. He brother was 55 at the time, recently divorced, lost everything, really wanted a fresh start.
First day, ME: "go ahead and grab the mouse..."
Him: "what the fuck's a mouse?" This was in 2005, he had never touched a computer before.
Hestiathena ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:46:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Heard this one from a coworker just last week, and maybe it's not that bad, but it made me want to scream internally.
For a little background, I'm currently a biotechnician at a research hospital, but before that I was in web design, so far from being an IT guru (though my dad was, back in the day), I'm at least moderately computer literate. One of my many extra duties is ordering lab equipment, and we just acquired a band-new set of blood gas and temperature probes for in-vivo experiments. We also have an older-model monitor and probes from the same company.
The tech who initially requested the new probes sent an email to the company (copying me in since I would do the actual ordering) asking for some new connector cables to go with the new probes. The company readily offers cables that connect most older-model probes with newer monitors, but what he was asking for were cables that could connect the new probes to the older monitor. In my mind, that's like trying to get a Windows 7-era program to run in Windows 98, or trying to run a DVD in a CD drive.
The sales rep seemed very puzzled and tried to explain to the tech that they did not offer such cables because they were, frankly, impossible. When the tech talked to me later about it, I tried to explain the problem in simpler terms, but he was convinced that the rep was just trying to get him to buy a new console 'cause that was his job.
Gabeisafgt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:50:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Brother used to work for an IT service company. (One of those ones where if you had a tech problem, you call the company and he would answer and fix it)
Anyway, one day he got a call from an older lady, and she had a problem where her mouse would get to the edge of the mouse mat, but her cursor was only half way across the screen. She obviously needed to move the mouse further across the screen But How!?!?
Step One: pick up mouse
Step Two: move mouse to other side of mouse mat
Step Three: put mouse back down and continue use.
This was one of many story's he has of computer illiteracy.
Edit: formatting
Jamesmateer100 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:58:20 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tell me more
hagamuffin ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:02:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom had a notebook next to her computer where she wrote down entire Craigslist email addresses, cuz she didn't know how to copy paste...
MrSenorSan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:24:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Many years ago while doing desktop support for a trading floor.
we had the head of a desk demanding we reboot the mouse server because his mouse was not responding properly.
We went to his desk, cleared the lint from the rollers and the mouse ball, and said "mouser server rebooted".
wild_muses ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:43:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to teach dad how to drag and drop something. Last year.
amgin3 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:02:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much anything my mom does when she touches a computer. When I lived at home, she would make me come fix her computer anytime a dialog box appeared on the screen, even if there was only one button to click. Even smartphones are too much for her to handle. One time she wanted to borrow my Galaxy Note 1 to make a call; I had to dial the number because she couldn't figure out how, then when I handed her the phone after it started ringing, she couldn't figure out how to hold the phone. She literally held it upside-down and backwards while yelling "Hello" and couldn't understand what was wrong.
cry_dolla_sign ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:11:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably when Hulk Hogan took a screenshot of a link to a video of his daughter reciting a poem about how he is not racist, haha.
Here
halofreak8899 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:31:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad once told me that the reason the Internet in the house was slow, was because I had too many icons on my personal desktop.
NickTDesigns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Killing myself brb
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's because you cleared a paper jam.
HotterThanTrogdor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:34:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My father once picked up a mouse and pointed it at the monitor like a remote control, clicked it several times and told me it was broken.
jwfowler2 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:37:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a client print a digital photo of his computer screen and snail mailed the page to my company to report a software bug.
BxTart ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:46:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I helped an older woman figure out how to use the mouse. She had put it on the floor & tried to use it, in her words "like a sewing machine pedal".
RobertOrrgasm ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:55:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone once sent me an email saying, " What's your email?"
HeyShayThatRhymes ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:57:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hitting "enter" twice at the end of every line in order to double space a document, then being frustrated when the formatting was all wonky.
Also, deleting a paragraph using "backspace" just to change one word.
I used to work in a community college Writing Center, helping a lot of older adults returning to school, and English-as-a-second-language people.
old_sar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:00:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if this counts but I once saw a man swiping a dollar bill through the credit card slot on a soda machine
Soundsmith88 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:08:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People would call me and tell me that there was an error message on the computer. The exchange goes as follows.
Me: Ok I would like you to restart your computer now.
Person: ok, I've shut down the computer.
Me: ok, now start the computer back up.
Person: The error message is still there!!
Me: thinking intensifies
Me: Ok, you have only restarted your monitor. I'm going to need you to actually reboot the computer.
The first time this happened I had them "restart " 4 or 5 times before I figured out how basic their misunderstanding was.
_stewie574 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:16:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I sent my graphics in to the manufacturer to be replaced because of artifacting issues. Once I got it back, I put it back in my computer and fired it up. Nothing was on my monitors.
I have two monitors. When I power on the computer, my right monitor stays off and my left monitor powers on so I can punch in my password. This time, neither monitor powered on.
At this point I was rather upset because nothing was working. I swapped cables, checked BIOS...I eventually got fed up with trying to fix it and just unplugged the monitor and just used the right monitor.
After a few hours the thought occurred to me..."is the monitor even on? I hit the power button and boom! Cuts on with no problems.
horriblekids ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:52:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My 20 year old brother-in-law doesn't know how to run an installer. He just looks at them like they're magic or something.
MissJill ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:22:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They are decently redundant now that I think of it.
Most people install all apps in the same place, and use the default settings anyway.
...I just realized that it is a necessary evil for security reasons more than customization
ahobopanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, it is called the "Install Wizard"...
phorqing ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:02:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Student tech at a university. Heard this phrase from a professor in the education department: "When I plugged my computer into iTunes, the color of the login screen changed!"
CoorsFight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:15:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What does that even mean?
The_Farting_Duck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They can't be trusted to shape the nation's future.
wargy2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:14:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
University professor called IT Support because his emails were missing. After asking about the missing emails, it finally became clear that the only reason he thought they were missing was because there was no "cruiser bar" (scroll bar). I lowered his screen resolution (so a cruiser bar would appear) and he thanked me for both getting his emails back and making the screen easier to see.
Robhar19 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:18:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, so several years ago I was part of a project team that developed a construction project management application. One day, shortly after we deployed an update we received a call from a user stating that she was unable to use half the application because she couldn't navigate to part of the application screen. So two of us walk over to the building she was located in to try and diagnose the problem.
When we arrived at her desk she had the application running and proceeded to move her mouse to the right side of her screen but was stopped because her mouse reached the edge of her desk. I literally stood there lost for words as the other analyst took her hand while still holding the mouse, picked it up, and moved them to the left so she could move her mouse further to the right.
We walked back to our office in silence where we tried to explain to the other developers what had happened.
raviolibassist ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:50:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In high school business tech class, this gangster thug kid next to me was trying to browse the internet. He would type whatever he wanted to see and then add ".com" after it. Stuff like, "buyguns.com" "[city name]gangs.com" which led to nothing. He finally went to "gun.com" and looked at pictures of guns for the whole class.
RednBlackSalamander ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:57:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had a substitute teacher in high school who didn't know what a mouse was. Our actual teacher had set up a video for us to watch; the cursor was already on the play button, all the sub had to do was click. But he just couldn't comprehend the idea that this little round plastic object could make things happen on the screen.
Orthopox_13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was he older than the hills or something?
mlgbacklot ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:07:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't that bad, but as a student - whenever the teacher plays a youtube video over the projector and
How is it that they ALL do it??
Zugam ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:51:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I work in a library. As you might know one of our main tasks is helping people out on computers. Not too long ago I was asked by a lady to help her do something online. I had her sit at a computer and asked her to move the mouse to the login button. She proceeded to pickup the mouse and wave it about in the air. Just waving about a foot above the table.
It was honestly shocking i had thought until this point that computers had made it far enough into the public conscious that everyone is knew you pushed the mouse across the surface of the table. It was an eye opening moment.
Edit:spelling
ahobopanda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:55:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you have a stroke typing the second half of that?
Zugam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is why i shouldn't write on my tablet. :(
NoMoreLurkingToo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:42:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in the days of dial-up, a guy asked me: "If I get a virus on my computer from the Internet, does the virus stay in the phone cable? So if I connect that phone cable to another computer, will it get the virus also?"
I started to laugh because I thought he was joking but he said in deadpan: "Don't laugh, you know what I mean! Like it [HIV] stays in the needle when someone with AIDS uses heroin!"
To this day I am not entirely sure if he was trolling or simply that stupid...
That-Reddit-Guy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:44:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
happened to me. I right clicked on a computer. didn't know what to do and I couldn't find a close button. so I pulled all the plugs and left. was 10 at the time. this happened 8 years ago.
jimmer1999 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:55:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmother once got worried because she thought the internet closed at 5
PresentlyInThePast ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:20:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant XKCD's:
https://xkcd.com/763/ https://xkcd.com/627/ https://xkcd.com/806/
andrewsmd87 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:06:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A professor told me he worked for some company and they had this business critical software on some server at a different location. Well, it went down one day, like nothing would come up on the screen, he tried everything he could to help over the phone, but they flew him out there as it was down.
He discovered the cleaning person had unplugged the power strip it was plugged into to vacuum, and then plugged the power strip back into itself. I'd say the fact that no one at the location there could figure that out, is up there in my book.
lagwagonlead ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:13:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I recently moved an entire department at work and noticed they all have huge calculators from the 80's on their desk. The next day I show up early to make sure everyone's computer is working as expected and I ask why they have calculators. The answer was they did a lot of simple math so ten key is a must. When I pointed out they all have ten key on their keyboards and can use the built in calculator or Excel the room went silent and they all looked at each other.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:21:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a phys ed teacher in junior high who wasn't very literate in terms of English or tech. He called me over to his office and gave me a paper with a video's thumbnail printed on it.
The dude was trying to print a video to show his class. And he was lamenting the fact that the paper he printed wouldn't play the video.
eliz1bef ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:20:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My stepdad can't browse the internet without going back to his "homepage" in between each site that he visits. They don't know how to use Google, and they don't understand that you can enter the URL directly into the browser to get to a page. I showed them a page, and they were panicked because I tried to go to another site without "touching home base" because they thought they'd get "lost."
fuegopantalones ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:03:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, you know when you copy paste & what you copy gets stored in the mouse? Maybe I forgot to paste something because my mouse is stuck."
GuileHawke ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:05:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Friend has a brother that used to work in support for a call center. Had an older lady call in once complaining that the cup holder on her computer had broken. Turns out she had been using the opened CD tray to hold her coffee cup, and after so much use had finally snapped. I facepalm every time I hear that story.
JoeyFingaz01 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:06:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Used to work in tech support like so many others here.
Me: Okay scroll down to the bottom...
Dumb-dumb: How do I scroll?
Me: Oh. I'm going to need to remote into your system.
mgk2600 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:38:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for tech support a few years back and was setting up a new PC for someone starting the following week. I went to the users desk on Monday to make sure she could log in and get into everything. She sits down, stares at her keyboard and says "oh, this is different. do you have a better keyboard? I am not used to this keyboard" I responded that it was just a standard keyboard, and if she needed an ergonomic one we would order one. She said no, and slowly hunt and pecked her way into the system with the keyboard. Fast Forward 3 days i get a ticket for her. I call her and she says "When I press the A key I get Q, and when I press W I get B" and so on. I go to her desk and find she popped off ALL the keys and placed them alphabetically. I walked away and gave the ticket to a co-worker.
jeff_the_nurse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:08:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandpa got the "Error type 11" message once, and repeatedly typed 11 to no avail for almost an hour...
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:11:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma has Google Chrome, which is her first browser ever (NO internet experience whatsoever.)
Calls me one day screaming that her computer has a virus and she's being hacked and her credit card info was being stolen.
Well, it turned out she had on incognito mode and the little guy in the hat and sunglasses was freaking her out. Apparently this is common with elderly people.
GainzdalfTheWhey ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:05:00 on September 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know probably no one will read this, but when I told my mom we had to change our internet service provider she asked what would happen to her e-mails
j3nnee ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:13:00 on October 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember a student in our computer lab asking me why his document wasn't coming out in color from the color printer but in B/W. I went to check the printer first thinking it might be a toner issue but nothing was wrong. Then I checked his computer he was using and then the scanner... that's when I saw what was wrong. He was scanning a b/w photo and sending it to the color printer.
I was trying to be nice so I said "oh... uhm... it's a b/w photo you're scanning..." and he's like "yeah..."
and I said: "But it's a b/w photo..." very nicely. and he nods again.
This goes on a few times before I see the light bulb over his head go on and he's like "I'm so very sorry I wasted your time" LOL
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:29:40 on January 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have sat through a meeting where my manager, in MS Paint, had taken a screen shot of an Excel file and was typing in little bits of text in between the cells.
When asked why, he said because he couldn't edit the Excel file because it was in read-only mode.
When told he could save a new copy and edit that one, he said "no, this way works fine."
Dellell ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:06:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my class.... Refused to do her presentation on a computer claiming that iPads are much better for typing... I was ready to kill myself.
ZoroDPirateHunter ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:36:54 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My theater director said: "Can you get these e-files from the Internet?"
I stared at him for a solid minute before he realized what he said.
applepwnz ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:17:30 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite are the clueless businessman types who think that they can look capable by throwing around a bunch of technology keywords just like they do with business, so you hear things like "I'd like to download my cloud to the attachment."
Steffisews ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:55:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I keep saying there's gotta be a market for private lessons (you go to them) to the supposed smart, older business types who somehow missed the whole computer/tech thing and are too ashamed to admit it.
applepwnz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:15:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The unfortunate thing is that many of those types of people have no interest in learning to be more tech savvy, my company offers free training classes (both in person, and online) and many of our "daily callers" flat out refuse to attend them.
Steffisews ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:03 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is unfortunate. My brother used to be CEO of a small business. When someone important came to visit, he'd tell his Assistant to 'put something important looking on my computer.' My mother, age 93, told me once that she didn't consider learning to copy & paste worthy of learning (even though myself and my kids had tried to help her learn it for YEARS); I stopped helping her with those kinds of things after that, and so did my kids. She's now forced to pay someone to tell her. I bet she's learned now. I was a pretty high level IT person.
Avatar_ZW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try tunneling the subnet mask
StewartDC8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:16:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't, my mainframe router is being defragged
michaelao ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
was he asking you to pirate a movie? lmao
ZoroDPirateHunter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha no, he was looking for a recording of our show and I found him one.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:35:36 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most people (unfortunately) think computers are abstract magic or some shit. So there isnt much that stands out.
Slatergaunt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:35:33 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boss called me at home once because showhow they changed the display setting to flipped and the screen was upside down. Still have no idea how they managed it but walked them through the fix after about 10 minutes.
HolyGhostClaw ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:49:34 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They probably accidentally pressed CTRL+ALT+down arrow. Any of the other 3 arrow keys will do the same thing. The top of the screen is rotated so that the top of the image is now in the direction of the arrow key pressed
Sticky32 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:43:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this on the highschool laptops and would hit CTRL+ALt+Right then set the laptop up on it's side on the desk.
Slatergaunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:03 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's amazing! I never knew that trick. I am so sure thats what happened. Now to go prank all my co workers.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:23:59 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do this to people who leave their terminals unlocked.
PigeonBeans ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:42:09 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"My computer isn't working!!" Not even plugged in.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:46:19 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Get a call about a blue screen. Take a look and see that mum simply hit Select All on a text document. Click the mouse somewhere in the document and the screen reverts to normal. Ape d 5 minutes explaining the spell I just preformed... Cuz you know being a tech wizard is hard.
Verpous ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:02:00 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not my story, but my mom's. I don't exactly know every detail perfectly, but here goes. It was at a time when computers were new to the general public, and my mom took a course which taught the basics of using a computer. She got the hang of it pretty quickly, but some people didn't. They had some units (floppy disks? not sure, this might've happened before those existed, maybe it was something even older), and the teacher told them to lay them down at the side of the computer. So one student raised his hand and asked which side to place it on, as if that's how you plugged it into the computer.
Another story, this time my brother's story from last year. He's in high school and was in a programming class with his friend, his friend forgot to bring his USB drive and he needed some file my brother had. So what did he do? He asked my brother to save two copies of that file, so he could give him one of them later.
YoungHeartOldSoul ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:23:29 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
not me but i guy i work with,
anyway, a few years ago (less than you think) our email database was still kept on a floppy disk for some reason, and one day he asked a volunteer to edit it for whatever reason, but they didn't know how, so he told her to open the file and go in and change some stuff 10 mins later they come back and tell him that it didn't work. Turns out that they physically opened up the floppy disk casing looking for the file, he still has it to this day as a conversation piece
thomascoopers ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:26:11 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if this is common, but I've seen it a few times: older gentlemen and women who print out blank pages when they need a spare paper.
BibbidiBobbityBoop ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:50:12 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My roommate: hey, are you really good with computers?
Me: No, not really.
Her: Okay, I'll ask someone else.
Two days later I heard her ask one of our friends if he'd take time to come over to our apartment and help her download Firefox.
Me: Well, I can do that.
Her: You said you weren't really good with computers.
Me: . . . You and I have very different definitions of 'good with computers'. All you have to do is go to the website and click a button.
Her: Well, that sounds hard.
drborken ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:54:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a technology company. I once got sent an email with a Powerpoint presentation attached. The presentation was a single slide with a screenshot of an Excel spreadsheet. Nothing else. I still can't get my head around why they didn't just send me the spreadsheet.
Jeremy1026 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:07:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They didn't want you to mess up their numbers or formulas.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:08:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grandpa didn't understand the difference between his desktop and browser. Tried to explain. Was unsuccessful.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:09:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone asked me why I have four computers and only one keyboard. I have four monitors..
stkchk4 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:11:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
dude in training class held the mouse like a remote control & tried 'zapping' the screen
gtthom86 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:53:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The first time I used the internet, at my aunt and uncle's place, I typed "www dot x-files dot com"
Davistele ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:03:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Small pet peeve: double-clicking a link on w web page. Double-click, double-click, double-click. Gaaahhhh!
ThHeretic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:14:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Them - you broke my computer the Internet doesn't work.
Me - I reset it, just like we discussed. You have to reenter your wifi PW.
Them - I have never used wifi, ever.
Me - did you plug the ethernet cable back into the computer?
Them - it's working again, no thanks to you.
callm3fusion ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:37:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My college anthropology professor..
slow mouse drag to the search button
the YouTube search bar opens in Google
Notinjuschillin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:38:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is tech related... Female roommate asked me why the blu Ray wasn't playing. Found out she put the disc in upside down
the_sex_kitten77 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:47:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I might be a bit late, but my grandma was typing her email address into the url bar. I took a picture of it.
Xddude ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:49:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Dad told me his ipad was broken and was going to take it back because he couldn't hear any of the audio on YouTube. I drove over and showed him the volume buttons.
swooneytoad ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:54:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My university professor posted the answer to a final exam the night before the exam was supposed to take place. Everyone ended up having to retake the exam by the end of summer, screwing up with everyone's plan.
numnum4eva ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:57:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My step dad was convinced the internet was slower when I purchased my second monitor for my PC and proceeded to tell me "It uses 2 times the internet"
Quim_Sniffer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:58:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Smashed a wireless mouse becuase it ran out of batteries.
wabojabo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:59:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My 6th grade teacher corrected me because he wouldn't understand the concept of downloading.
clever_kitty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:59:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Watching a new sales person open the cd tray on her laptop and place her coffee cup on it. I watched as the PC Service tech nearly have a heart attack before explaining why it was a bad idea. Then go off when she came to him a few hours later that her laptop stopped working, all while it was dripping liquid on the carpet. She didn't stay long, and not because of that.
Jaimizzle14 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:00:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My college professor (environmental biology) thought that IT had installed the "safely remove hardware" option just for him because he had corrupted so many "stick things."
Also, my dad thought his keyboard was broken because when he typed, all it showed was "ackstricks," he was typing in the Password field.
Hampuncher ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:04:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In middle school I was waiting for the computer to boot up, so I was moving the little launch screen around the librarian told me to stop it hurts the computer
Surely_not_Nate ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:06:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was remoted in to someone's computer at work and she was like, "See how my screen's all shaky?" referring to her wobbly monitor. Like what
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:07:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once I rang tech support and asked for a specific email server address. The guy ignored me like twice and began a 5 question history taking process to narrow my problem, I went with the flow. Part of it involved him remote logging onto my computer to type in the email server address himself (lol). Nothing happens for a minute, then my colleague from next door walks in saying "some tech guy just logged onto my computer".
ladytreehugger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:08:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Oh man, I used to work in a computer lab at a public library. I have a couple of stories that belong here.
This one guy was a regular, stopped in daily and asked the types of questions that made it clear he didn't have much experience with computers. No problem, it was my job to help out and I didn't mind. One day he came to my desk and asked what he needed to type into "the binary code part of the computer" to make it do what he wanted. He was clearly frustrated with me not immediately knowing wtf he could be talking about (I knew there was no way anyone in that room was up to speed on anything having to do with binary code - including me) so I asked him to show me what he was talking about. He takes me over to his computer, points at the internet address bar on his screen, and asks again about the binary code. I explain that he's pointing at the internet address bar, and that he can visit a website by typing the website's address there, and gave him an easy example. He looks back at me with extreme disappointment, shakes his head, and says that he guesses I can call it that if I really want to. I wasn't smart enough to help him.
We had this other lady who was in her 90's and was in the process of earning her college degree. She was so awesome, and I loved it when she came in, but she had a really hard time grasping how to use the computer, especially the first couple of times. I didn't witness this, but apparently she tried talking into the mouse like it was a microphone, and then tried to control the pointer on the screen by rubbing the mouse against the screen of the computer. God bless her, I think she did go on to earn her degree.
joelthezombie15 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:17:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A kid I went to school with didn't know what shift did or entirely what caps lock did. Or he was just an idiot.
But he would type every capital letter by using caps lock. Including all caps LIKE THIS.
He would press caps lock, a letter, caps lock twice, a letter and so on. It took him forever to type shit in all caps for some reason.
Like I said, maybe he was a idiot but it wasn't a joke because he did it all the time for over 3 months and it took him forever so it wasn't worth the joke.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
joelthezombie15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ya Ive seen that a few times.
screennameoutoforder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think I've met your friend in the YouTube comments.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:21:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some years ago I worked at an appliance parts call center. I was one of the trainers that helped with training new classes of employees. We had one trainee that didn't understand computers at all and could grasp why you had to hit enter after typing a command. She lasted 3 days I think.
This was in the early 90s and we used an AS400 based system and to be fair, many people didn't have home computers at that time so lots of people had never used a computer.
dtuur ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:49:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine's dad was an IT teacher who did repairs on the side. One day he gets a call from a client why can't find the "any key"...
MissJill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We used to do that as a prank call in the 90's.
RadleyCunningham ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:58:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if it counts, as it feels like one long continuous grievance against me, but my mom has NO clue what she's doing with computers, and she totally used to, she's just lazy: "can you tell me how to save this picture from my email?" "I've shown you, every week for the last 10 years" "lol I forgot" And all the times I tell her to run her antivirus- she just won't. I don't know why she even HAS a laptop.
RazeCrusher ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:13:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Trying to explain to my father-in-law how I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a virus saved to his RAM.
Kaltorix ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:20:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lady complained her computer wouldnt turn on. After some trouble shooting, found out she'd left the computers power cord unplugged as the computer was making strange noises. Apparently unplugging the cord "solved the origional issue"
Thecardinal74 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:25:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
she used a chip-clip to clip a note to her monitor.
the clip pressed onto the power button shutting it off.
ranted about how the computer "just shut down" and "I don't know why, I didn't do anything"
Starlord72 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:40:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My aunt once emailed me asking how to use the internet.
sahilsamunder ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:14:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Being an Information Technology worker, you'll circadian appear above bodies who actually accept no clue what they are accomplishing with technology. Their questions will abrade the hell out of you and their some accomplishments are above any explanation. You ability appetite to leave the planet afterwards witnessing those scenes. Seriously, IT guys ache a lot in such cases. We fabricated a account of the funniest things.Read out the accomplished story!
washoutr6 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:55:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha what!
thezerbler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:50:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is basically what its like when people use buzzwords that they don't understand.
captainmidday ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:18:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had a receptionist complain that the cdrom drive wasn't working. Opened up the case and there were 4-5 CDs lying around inside. She had been putting CD's in the gap between the pieces of plastic that cover the unused 5.25" bays.
NickTDesigns ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:44:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend thinks that, since I've been on the Internet & using computers since I was 3 years old and I'm really good at graphic designing, that I can hack the internet and shit like that. I explained to him I don't know how to hack but he either doesn't get it or says it as a joke now. My dad used to run his own photo lab for 25 years until last year (Rest in peace Nova Photo) so both my parents have been around computers longer than I've been alive. My dad knows how to do everything but once in a while my mom will need help with something. My grandparents and all their siblings know how to do everything now because of me, but they were never illiterate because my grandpa is extra smarts and figured out how to use a computer all by himself (proud of him!).
EDIT: I forgot, earlier in the school year last year (10th grade), a girl in my geometry class actually said, "social media causes cancer!"
She genuinely thought that you could get cancer from social media like Twitter and facebook. She has social media accounts, too.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:32:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh god, well /r/GlobalOffensive is pretty cancerous
NickTDesigns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
rest in peace
pftmehsloth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:49:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom once tried to comment on my status on Facebook but instead of doing that she just posted on my timeline. Funny part is that the status was from a couple weeks before and it took me a couple minutes to realize what her post was referring to.
teh_mexirican ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:58:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
About six years ago I was teaching a basic "how to get online and use the internet" class for senior citizens. I knew they had very limited experience with computers so as I was walking them through vocabulary on day one and directed them to "use the mouse to click open the start menu" this old dude is holding up his mouse and pointing it at the monitor like a remote control. "Why innit working?" I contained my laughter save for a little giggle before correcting him. By the end of the six weeks, he was browsing for pickup trucks on local dealership websites.
epitap ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:02:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine was typing something in all caps and for EVERY GODDAMN LETTER HE TURNED CAPS LOCK ON, TYPED THE LETTER, THEN TURNED CAPS LOCK OFF. Haunts me to this day
Lady_Paks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:24:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My fiance's grandmother comes to mind. She will print out emails that she finds funny (talking about stupid pictures or jokes) and then send them in the mail to his family members.
carpathianroses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aww that's sweet actually
ApneaMan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:26:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just a couple of years ago my mom wanted to pause Netflix so we could get some water so I told her, "Just hit the space bar." She replied, "Which one is that?" Mind you that this is the woman who taught me the technique on how to memorize the keyboard. The same woman who had worked in an office, with her own computer, for a decade.
Reoh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:19:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I usually worked account management but the shop front was short handed and I'd been moved over to help out. One of the most breathtakingly beautiful women I've seen came into the store that day.
One of the guys working the front offered to help her out and the rest of us quietly made our way to the next aisle to listen to him making a fool of himself in front of her.
It appeared she needed to acquire a mousepad, and he was showing her the selection when she stopped him and said, "But how do you know this mousepad will be compatible with my Mac?!"
While I can't speak to what his face looked like, credit to him in keeping a professional voice as he explained the situation to her. I'm not quite sure what happened next but she took off running out of the store and never came back.
TLDR: Customer wanted to know how we knew our mousepads were compatible.
lrgame1983 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:20:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Customer: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON YOUR SIDE? WHY IS THE TERMINAL SERVER DOWN!
Me: Let me check sir, I see you are on TS17, which is up and running sir.
Customer: I JUST TOLD YOU IT's DOWN
Me: Do you have internet sir?
Customer: NO, THE ROAD IS BEING BROKEN UP AND WE HAVE NO INTERNET JUST LIKE THE REST OF THE STREET.
Me: Sir, to connect to the Terminal Server you do need a internet connection.
Customer: SO WHY THE HELL AM I PAYING YOU ?!
Me: Sir, I can't prevent roadworks that break up your internet connection.
Customer: (start to yell and really insult me) #$!$%#@!!#%$#@
Me: Sir, I am a human and would like to be threated like one, if you continue to insult I'll hang up.
Customer: %#$%$%%#@!
Me: <beep beep beep>
Boss: WHAT THE HELL MAN YOU ARE FIRED (really got fired because of this)
patrik667 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:46:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Working at a custom-built PCs store at the time, we went to deliver a very basic level PC to a customer. I finished putting the PC together and turned it on, so I tell the guy (with the wife looking over his shoulder) to try and play around with the computer to experience this new fangled windows XP thingy.
So he sits down, stares at the screen and starts moving the mouse, following the cursor with his whole head, like at a tennis match. He eventually ends up at the end of the mouspad and unable to get the mouse ball underneath moving. He struggles at the border of the mousepad in frustration for awhile, until I tell him he can lift the mouse, no problems.
He looks at me with big eyes, looks back at the screen, real close this time, staring at the cursor, while he slowly raises the mouse at arm length, expecting god-knows-what from the cursor on the screen.
Could not contain my laughter.
Bad_memory_Gimli ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:08:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jason Bourne (The film, not Bourne)
Blendedcookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I noticed this in the theater and pointed it out to my mother (who works with SQL all day) had a good laugh at that one.
Kizzazed ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:10:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In high school (1 or 2 years ago), I removed Internet Explorer from the task bar. I put chrome there instead, the teacher then proceeded to say "where has the internet gone" . The possibly more tech illiterate IT guy reformatted the computer.
Millerized ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:57 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was part of the tech crew at my highschool, so to be fair, almost anytime someones computer "wasn't working", as long as the thing at least got to post, we would just restore the system from a ghost image on the network... Most people don't know how to properly explain the issue, so rather than dick around trying to figure anything out from poor explainations, it was usually quicker and easier to just start the restore, tell them to wait 10 mins until it finishes, then just walk away...
BaeMei ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:31:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
About 5 years ago my teacher, who teaches math, was teaching us the basics of computers. She was struggling with the cord on her mouse and got enraged, took some sissors and cut the cord off. She thought that's how wireless mouse's work. She then got enraged her wireless mouse was out of battery.
All in all I'm sure she wasn't actually that bad with computers she seemed to work really hard and probably wasn't sleeping a whole lot but damn cuh
mysterybkk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:39:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got my grandma a laptop so that she can Skype and email her friends and stuff. It took a really long time for her to grasp the whole mouse pointer thing but she finally had that down after 6 months.
That summer she went traveling around Europe and asked if there was an easier option to keep in touch, so we explored to idea of an ipad and she really liked that. "It's much easier to use" were her words.
Fast forward to after having left for europe and she calls me all panicked.
"I think it's broken. There's no mouse pointer anywhere and I can't plug in the mouse either."
tan8_197 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:40:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My high school teacher used excel for her presentation about literature
lifelove786 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:44:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know the standard power plug receptacle on the back of every PC tower since they were first created? Did you know that a USB cable will fit directly in between the positive and negative metal prongs? I had a woman hook her printer to her tower that way. No other cables were connected to either device. When she was shown how to connect the USB cable to the USB port, she said, "Oh, I thought the printer was wireless"
Zaximus20 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:46:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We just put the new chip enabled credit card devices in our stores. We had a MANAGER call the helpdesk because a customer's apple pay wasn't working. When asked what the error was they said, "it's not giving me an error the phone just won't fit to swipe through the machine." What a time to be alive.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:47:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When we got our first computer and had slow dial-up internet, my mother didn't really understand how to use Google efficiently. Instead of looking up the keywords for a specific topic, she would type her lengthy problems into google search, even starting with "Hi" or "Dear Google". Google obviously would never find anything for her searches and often I'd get onto the computer to see her problem typed into google search where she had abandoned it in defeat.
VonBeegs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:49:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Mom sat down at a computer that was on with a sleeping monitor. Hit the power button and sat paitently for about 3 minutes before I saved her.
qx2anon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:50:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not computer but... This old lady at best buy ... Was looking for a land line (wired $10 phone) phone and insisted that it needed to come with a charger
bugphotoguy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:52:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I started working in a call centre when I was 17. At the same time, a local clothes factory had closed down, so I was training with a bunch of seamstresses who'd never really used a computer before. The trainer was telling us to go and click on something or other with the wee mouse. Very basic stuff. One of the seamstresses got all flustered, because the mouse had got to the edge of the mousepad before her cursor had reached its destination. She didn't know that you could just pick the mouse up and move it to the other side of the pad.
GhostBillOnThird ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:52:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriends mother is the worst with computers. Her computer wouldn't turn on one day so I drove over there just to find out it wasn't plugged in.
Thebutthairbandit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:54:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work with a woman who saves literally everything to her desktop, because she assumes that if she doesn't, the file "disappears".
After 10 years, you'd be amazed to see how many things can fit on someone's desktop.
Raxsah ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:59:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a library with public computers. I have many stories though I can't think of many outstanding ones. It's mainly little things like 'what do I do now?' 'Press send' or 'press the big print button' and other things that result from people not really even trying and just relying on the fact that I'm there so they don't have to learn how to do something. One that comes to mind though:
Guy: it won't let me enter my email
Me: sir, that's just your name. Do you have an email address?
Guy: yes, that points to name
Me: an example of an email address would be notes down library email. Do you notice the @ symbol? Have anything like that?
Guy: no
Me: okay, you'll need to sign up with a company who can provide you with an email address, for example -
Guy: can I use this one? points to library email
Me: no, that's for our staff. You'll need one that's unique and personal to you
Guy: can I use my dogs name? proceeds to type dogs name in email section of form he was doing
I can't remember exactly how this ended, but he ran out of computer time not long after and didn't want to pay for extra. I hope he found someone with more sanity to spare and who was better at explaining things than I was. He also wanted to use the name of the town we were in and his actual address at some point.
adiemus123456 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:03:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once a older lady asked me to fix her computer. I asked her what was wrong, and she said the screen was always black. So I hit the power button on the computer, and the computer started to boot up. She was shocked, and said how did you do that, I have been trying to get this to work for days. I said I hit the power button. "What does the power button do?", she asked. I said it turns on the computer. She than said "Can you show me that again, I didn't know computers had power buttons". The easiest and weirdest computer repair job I ever did.
Inspectigator ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:06:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Little late to the party, but a guy we recently hired at our tech company for IT support asked me "how did you do that thing where the letters go away, but backwards"...
He didn't know what the backspace key did. I was speechless.
sesry ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:10:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma called me and said the buttons on her mouse had disappeared..
I had to drive to her house to rotate the mouse 180ยฐ.
WienersBetweenUs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:14:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Started a course to learn sql and java, there was this older guy, in his 50s starting the sql course too. we were given a book and told to read it and do the exercises at the end of each chapter and submit them to the teacher. After two weeks, he hadn't submitted anything, and told the guy he had just read the book and know knew sql.
Teacher asked him to try the examples, and he didn't know how to open the sql program. There was an icon on the desktop (windows) and he was single clicking it. We explained he had to double click, and he said he'd never heard of that, as he'd grown up using punchcards. He didn't fare too well on the course. He also routinely fell asleep at his desk, or sometimes didn't turn up because he had slept in all day.
Rennie07 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:19:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife thinks she's pretty good on computer, but she still uses Capslock instead of pressing shift and it really pisses me off.
AjCheeze ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:24:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A Military admin chick(i think admin anyway) was complaining about everything about her job. Like times when her supervisor would give her tasks she knew nothing about. Her example for this was trying to download a file onto a CD. She wasn't even sure how to put the CD into the computer. Your saying to can use the Retarted government computers and portals to some degree but cant even put a file on a fucking CD?
lionseatcake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:26:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not as crazy as other posts, but people inability to use a search engine just floors me. They'll spend literal DAYS trying to find information on something. Most of the time I keep out of it for a few days in the hopes that they'll find the right way to phrase search terms to locate the information and learn for themselves. Until finally I'm sick of listening to them talk about their "stupid computer" and the "stupid internet", I'll jump on Google, and in less than a few seconds I'll have multiple sources for the info they need. Like I'm a superhero or something.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:38:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I used to play WoW i had Wowhead set up as my home page.
One day I woke up to my mom trying to look stuff up online, she woke me up and said "nothing is coming up online" and noticed she was searching "Yahoo.com" in the wowhead search bar and pulling up no results
FrederikNS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:39:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom made sure to charge her laptop up over night, so she could bring it to my grandmothers house to show her a website.
My grandmother does not have Internet or a computer, and my mother figured that as long as her laptop had power she could just browse the Internet.
Jiggerfig ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:42:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Working in IT I've seen some great ones.
"Can I check what operating system you're using?" "I have no idea." "Well, do you know if it's a Mac or a Windows device?" "How do I find that out?" sigh
OR
"It's Windows" "Do you know what version?" "No, there's different versions?" "Yes, normally it's Windows 7, 8, 8.1 or 10" "Well how am I meant to know the difference I'm not an IT person!"
At which point I usually resort to "Is there a start button, and if there is, does it look like a square or like a circle?"
Only ever defeated twice by the response "What's a start button?"
wheresmattynow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:23:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Five minutes ago, when I "hacked" the router for my parents to change the WiFi settings.
SICCNESS206 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:41:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This guy we worked with asked if my friend could fix his computer, says it's running extremely slow etc etc. My friend said no problem, bring it to work the next day. This guys shows up with just his monitor. Long story short, he thought the tower was just a huge power source for his monitor, nothing else.
jims1973 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:55:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had a coworker in her late 20's who would turn on caps lock to do a single capital letter and then turn it off to continue writing. She didn't know the shift key had any effect.
Trondar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:56:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in public schools in the IT department. I once got a ticket from a teacher who said that her cursor was jumping all over the screen and she couldn't stop it. When I got to her classroom, I picked up the headphones laying on the 'TAB' key, told her the problem was fixed, and walked away quickly before losing it in front of her.
wuzart ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:07:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I witnessed someone drag the 'Internet Explorer' icon from their desktop into the recycle bin to erase their internet browsing history.
callmetmrw ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:08:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had someone ask me why they couldnt print. The window was moved down to a point where the print button was out of view....
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:13:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry but I have to leave this thread before I kill someone.
cowbutt6 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:17:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A colleague toggling 'Caps Lock' for every upper case letter they typed. Well, about 70% of the time, anyway, resulting in frequent corrections.
skippieelove ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:18:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grandpa thinks he has to login to AOL to get online....
WilliamJ_Lepetomane ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:20:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Hello, computer!"
MrHobbes82 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:24:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On the phone with a guy. We need to see the results of a tracert on his computer.
joker38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you get monochrome garbage?
siraznallot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:24:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok. Been in IT for a few years now.
Received phone call from "Janet"
Her- hey I'm having problems opening my start menu. It keeps disappearing when I try to click on it....
Me- "goes through standard check list" ask to reboot pc and try to remote access with no success.
Me- okay mam I'll have to swing by your desk to take a look at the problem.
Her- hurry I have deadlines to meet!
Get to site and instantly knew what the issue was. Her desk was a pigsty.
Ended up resolving issue by removing stapler that was sitting on the escape key....
Gg no Re
RadiantSun ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:27:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of the first jobs I ever had involved handling customer documents. Company policy required certain documents to be sent in by fax, or brought in physically to be copied and archived. My job was to deal with the fax option.
One lady who called in could not grasp the fact that a fax machine is not a teleportation device. The document we needed, she said she only had one copy of it, the original, and basically told me that she couldn't trust me to send it back to her.
tomtom999 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:50:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hi yes i need to get on my computer to print out bingo cards for our activities hour (it was a senior care facility).
me: ok let me get on and see whats going on
me: im showing that youre internet went down a minute ago.
them: i know we were on and now everyone is kicked off
I start checking everything trying to see what could have caused it.
me: ok it looks like we just need to reboot the router. Can you or someone there go reboot it for me?
them: i cant do that its dark and we cant see anything
me: its dark? is there no light?
them: no there was just an accident outside where someone hit a pole and we dont have power right now.
AgentButters ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:55:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Hello computer" https://youtu.be/hShY6xZWVGE
SoupKnotSeer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:25:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When i was a teenager, my mom would always get mad at me for sitting in front of the computer on a beautiful day, so she'd see me odd the computer and be like "that's it, I'm turning the computer of right now" and hit the power button.
As soon as she walked away, I would turn the monitor back on and get back to what i was doing
dfnkt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:29:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Used to work at walmart years ago, had a customer come up to me while shoving a mousepad near my face and ask me if this mousepad would work with her computer because she had a mac and she knew that macs were special.
theqmann ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:45:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a programmer colleague who can barely use a computer. Confused by the start menu, never heard of the control panel, but somehow can program device drivers in his sleep.
thudly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:15:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, to get started, you have to press this button. This turns it on."
"Pressing this is not going to break anything, is it?"
She was honestly terrified that even turning it on would cause it to explode or something. I don't know who started the myth that computers are so complicated and/or easily broken, but they sure didn't help. Probably some nerd who just didn't want people touching his machine.
Then there was my uncle who saved absolutely everything that came in onto his desktop so he could "easily find it later". After about a month the desktop ran out of room to store new items, and he called for help because he couldn't find a file he'd just saved to his desktop. I just made his screen resolution bigger because explaining how to sort things into folders and access them later was too complicated.
esmo88 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:22:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a graphic artist. About once a week or so, I get a copy of a customer's logo attached to an email as a .doc file. People actually take a shitty jpeg of their logo from the internet, put it into a word doc, save it, then attach it to an email.
jessicatron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, yes. The other fun thing is the "vector logo" .ai file, which is actually just several raster images cobbled together in an .ai file for no fucking reason.
esmo88 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:01:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. Also when we say "Can you send us an .eps file instead?" And they send the same .jpeg, but they've just changed the file extension.
jabe25 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:47:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to me recently. A woman had asked me to fix her laptop because it wouldn't come on anymore and she wants all her pictures and letters from a dead relative recovered. I plug the sucker up and find out it's stuck in a boot loop. Tried startup repair and it couldn't even start it up. So I booted in to a Linux live disk. The Windows installation is pretty well screwed up, so I launch a full on 4.5 hour effort to find and recover her precious files before I reload it with a fresh install of Windows 10. I searched and searched over the 50gb worth of files on that 500gb drive and found nary a thing. It was 4AM, so I decided to give up and call her in the morning and ask where the letters and pictures were saved. The call went as follows.
Me: "Hi Miss ____ it's jabe25. I unfortunately have some bad news. I couldn't find the documents you requested I recover. Is there a save location that you use that I may not be aware of?"
Her: "Oh yes, they are all saved to my Facebook!"
And then I died.
ThornTwig ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:49:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A grandmother of someone I know was once, for some unknown reason, emailed a printsscreen of someone's homescreen. For some other unknown reason she decided to use it as wallpaper on her own homescreen. This was followed by confused calls to her son and nephews with her wondering why so many icons were not working..
Rorcanson ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:50:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher doing a PowerPoint presentation in an assembly, each slide would press ESC to come off the current slide, click on the next slide, then click 'show current slide'
Long 15 minutes..
mghtyms87 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:53:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have two, one from me and one from the GF.
Mine: Grandma wants to upgrade to Windows 10. Do the upgrade, all the updates. Go to re-setup her printer after the upgrade, and I can't find it on her network. Ask her where her printer is, and she shows it to me unplugged in her living room. I ask her where she normally has it plugged in and she says she doesn't...it's wireless. Explain to her that it still needs power, and she panics because even though she hasn't used it in 2 years, if she had needed to use it, she wouldn't have been able to.
GF: She manages the IT for a local bank with four different branches and often asks to get screenshots of error messages emailed to her so she can see what's going on as she's not always at every branch every day. About 50% of the time, she'll get an image created using the Snipping Tool, printed out, then scanned, and emailed to her as a pdf.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:07:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
uncle_yuri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well. Apparently I can't format text properly on a phone. Just gonna go die in a corner here
MuadDave ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:15:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Putting a 5.25" floppy in a TYPEWRITER to label it.
TimboCalrissian ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:22:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Work in IT. User calls because her company provided laptop isn't connected to her home wifi. Try to explain that her home wifi has a pw she needs to put in. Proceeds to call me stupid and get pissed for 15 minutes. She wants me to remote in and fix it. Explain to her that I cannot remote in until it's connected to the internet. Lady has a fit of rage and throws her brand new, company provided laptop. Boss listens to call, tells her supervisor. She's no longer employed with this company.
AKR44 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:26:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad thinks Yahoo is the internet. If it's not working, nothing on the internet is working. I blew his mind when the site was really slow and I typed in google.
scarthearmada ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:15:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was the problem with AOL in the 90s, except AOL was intentionally trying to mislead people into thinking that AOL's services were the Internet. So you had millions of unsophisticated computer users logging into AOL expecting to experience the Internet, but were being restricted to only sites and services that AOL was making money off of in some way.
To the rest of us on the web at the time, AOL users were the dumbest people on the planet. But this was unfair. AOL was intentionally misleading them -- outright lying to them -- and when the rest of the Internet and the WWW started to radically outpace AOL's offerings, these people were left behind. So much so that many of them never really kept up with computing trends, and then were lost for years once AOL fell to shit.
Aesir81 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:18:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Executive Director making $150,000+ came to me saying her keyboard didn't work. I walk in, take one look and reply, "that's because it isn't plugged in."
Same woman also came to me saying that her computer was frozen. I show up, she's trying to type an email in Outlook in the background while a dialogue box is open in the foreground.
100% true stories. She had a "computer issue" every other day. Her computer was brand new and worked perfectly. Fortunately for me, I kept a meticulous list of it all that was later used to get her fired for incompetence and mismanagement.
LordSoren ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:21:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
While it pales in comparison to many other stories out there, I have to bring up one of my programming instructors as an example.
I was in a 2nd year, first semester programming course that covered Java 2.0 as an introduction to Object Orientated Programming; C++ was second semester and all of 3rd year. The professors collaborated in setting up standardized instruction between those who taught the course - there was 3 teachers and about 150 students total IIRC. Some did the prep work, others prepared the powerpoints, others did the evaluation.
One professor, I think she did the evaluation mostly, had no idea how to write programs in Java and let her TA answer programming questions. When she was doing a lecture and needed to code something, she copied and pasted it verbatim from the power point slides; 90% of the time it failed to compile because it was only snippets that were on the slides, not full programs.
So yeah... that was our instruction. That, and her bad mouthing the students not in her class. And her coming to class hung over.
nuclearbastard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:31:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tried changing the user's password to something they could understand. Every attempt to make it kinda secure failed due to mistyping the password, mixing up capital letters and misspelling simple words like "cat".
I finally changed his password to his seven digit phone number. I said "Okay, the password is your phone number, with no spaces or punctuation."
His response: "Okay, my phone number is 867-5309, so that's E-I-G-H..."
nuclearbastard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:33:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Working tech support for a retail chain, store called to say their check reader had no lights on it.
Me: "Is it plugged into the power outlet?" Salesperson: "Hang on, let me get someone who is more technical to do this."
MrDocuments ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:35:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Colleague at work, needs to forward photo emailed by customer to another department, takes screenshot of the email containing the photo, pastes the screenshot into a word document then emails the word document
Prospero424 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:37:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My examples are in picture form. I've saved the best I come across over the years. These are the standouts.
Mouse with buttons labelled "left" and "right": http://imgur.com/a/KSsX6
Video card (in computer experiencing power problems) supported by halved coke can: http://imgur.com/a/WEoNM
Yes, before you ask these are my OC...
nuclearbastard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:39:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Classic story I heard "from the Internet", a user requested a larger mousepad because they kept running out of desk space for their mouse cursor. They would get to the edge of the pad, but the cursor was somewhere in the middle of the screen and they needed to keep going right.
shitchopants ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:45:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a summer internship I worked at a Chicago law firm IT department. About one year prior to me starting the BlackBerry device came out and if you recall, the first blackberry phones were blue. One of the firms partners had an issue with his BlackBerry and I called to let him know it was ready for him to pick up... Me: "hello sir, I'm calling to let you know that your BlackBerry is ready to be picked up at the IT help desk" Partner: "my blackberry? I don't have a blackberry. You must be confused, I have a blueberry" Me: "umm well your phone is ready to be picked up" Partner arrives at the IT desk and begins talking to the person in charge... Partner: "I was told my phone was ready to be picked up" IT guy: "yes, here you go, do you have any questions on how to work your blackberry?" Partner: "I don't have a blackberry, I have a blueberry, you must be confused" IT guy: "excuse me?" Partner: "my blueberry, can I have it" IT guy: "sir, this is a blackberry" Partner: "do you think I'm stupid? What color is the phone!?!?" IT guy: "well it's blue" Partner: "then why are you calling it a BlackBerry?" IT guy: "because it is a BlackBerry" Partner: "are you some kind of idiot? Give me my blueberry" Partner snatches the phone out of his hand and walks away cursing.
To this day I now refer to all blackberry devices as blueberry devices.
anarae ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:51:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad once tried to print a gif
krat0s77 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:17:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
One time I was at a cyber-cafรฉ, and a man who looked like homeless entered and payed for an hour of PC. He sat down, grabbed the mouse with his 2 hands like it was the holy grail and started moving the mouse wheel with his index finger.
That's the most neanderthal thing I ever witnessed. Probably the first time he ever saw a computer.
Edit: Words.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:21:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I saw the same behaviour with a CEO of a corporation.
WinniWildcat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:22:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Ok now move the mouse up to get to the first question"
Customer proceeds to lift mouse off mousepad while holding it with two hands
randalflagg1423 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:25:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I want to start by saying this user is pretty smart, so I think it is more of a brain fart than an illiterate thing but here goes. Coworker wants to google something, so he opens Chrome, which defaults to google homepage, types google into the search and then clicks the google.com link. He does this every time he wants to search something until I pointed it out.
ScorpionSon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:22:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This will probably never see the light of day: I used to work for an electronics store, much like Best Buy, well, actually, Best Buy bought them.
I had a customer try to return a computer because she claimed it was broken and being one of the resident Techs I was asked to look at it. I inquired why she thought her new computer was broken. She reported that it was not responding to her commands. So, I plugged the computer in and proceeded to try and ascertain the issue. I asked her, after trying to click on different programs and everything seeming to operate fine, to show me what she meant by it "not responding to commands". She proceeds to stare at the screen with a look of frustration/concentration.
Then she exclaims "See I told you! Its not working!"
Me: "But, you didn't do anything..."
Her: "Yes I did I told it to go to the internet"!
Me: "But you didn't touch the keyboard or mouse."
Her: "I shouldn't need to, the sales person told me it was wireless"
Me: "..."
Long story short; she thought that the computer being wireless meant that she could psychically control the computer. I didn't have the heart or the patience to correct her. I just paged her original salesperson.
I don't know what the outcome was as I was crying in the backroom trying to tell the story to my co-workers.
TLDR: Customer thought both she and computer were psychically linked and she forgot to pair the 2.
TheAnsweringMachine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:25:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents both take notes of every step of every action they need to take when I show something to them. They think it's some kind of magic move instead of understanding the basic logic behind it. If you want to open your e-mails you have to do THIS rain dance and if you want to open a picture you have to do THAT rain dance. Me and everybody else could not make them understand that right clicks always make a menu pop and left click always select the thing you click.
LivingShadowz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:17:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad wouldn't let me plug my ethernet cord into his router because he was afraid I would fuck up his internet service
ZemTM ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:28:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a computer teacher that thought I was "hacking" by having a task manager open on the performance tab.
Roll3d6 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:49:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did computer repair for a few years and one of my customers was an elderly retired man. He had the wits to know that he needed to backup his files, but not enough smarts to know that some streaming radio stations carry malware. So when his home computer bogged down I get the call to clean it up.
3,600 PUP's and Trojans later his machine is as good as new. About 2 months later I get another call from this gentleman and he says his laptop is now bogging down. OK, I can fix that too. 2,800 PUP's and Trojans this time, but the job is done and he is happy.
Like clockwork, 2 months pass and I'm getting a call from him AGAIN saying the desktop is acting up again. This time, I made a house call to figure out what's going on.
As it turns out, he would backup his infected computer before turning it over to me and then put the backup on the remaining computer while I worked on the first one. As soon as I clean one up, he was backing up the crappy one and here we go again.
Kortamue ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:15:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have one that's not so much illiterate, but simply a sign of the times:
My grandma had never had a laptop before, and she came to me about ten months after buying one, thinking it was faulty. She said that when she tried to type something into a search bar or what have you, it would type there for a few letters and then stop, and she'd have to click it again to continue typing. I used this laptop a lot and never ran into this problem, and none of my friends or anyone else who used it, including her other granddaughter, who was eleven at the time.
One day, I decided to watch her type, as an idea had come to me about what was happening. And sure enough, it happened again while she was trying to search an image for me. I asked her, "Now, we both know you're pretty old (haha), and it occurs to me that for typing, you were trained on a typewriter. What is the first rule they give you about hand/finger placement with a typewriter?"
"Keep your thumbs on the space bar, why?"
"Look down."
She did so. Since the keys on a typewriter are more spaced out than a modern keyboard, habit had placed her thumbs at the very top edge of the trackpad. She was periodically clicking the trackpad out of her typing box. For ten months.
We had our laugh about it and it gives me one more generational difference/funny bright idea story for me to spout when trying to impress chicks at the bar.
TL;DR If you were trained to type on a typewriter, hold your thumbs up when you type on a laptop.
zerosuitsalmon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:43:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not the worst thing I've ever seen but I am pretty disappointed in myself right now. I was trying to figure out why I was stuck at the bottom of the page. Every time I tried to scroll up it would jump right back to the bottom. I tried different tabs, different apps, nothing. I closed out Chrome and reopened it...
and the cursor started magically progressing across the address bar. I looked down and my phone was sitting on top of my space bar.
gorkt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:02:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother in law didn't understand the idea of double clicking the mouse. She would try to double click like "Click (pause for 5 seconds)-click"
gharbutts ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:37:55 on September 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly you're comparing two completely different intelligences. These are people who went to school for medicine, and until 20 years ago everything was done on paper. Paper charting is a lot more work for people who are computer proficient and it's so wasteful, but for someone who can write faster than they can type, and who had to learn to chart and contact doctors one way in their youth and relearn a whole new system in their 40's after decades of doing it one way, it's like learning to ride a motorcycle after only ever riding a unicycle.
It's totally unfair to judge nursing or doctor ability to treat a patient by their computer abilities. For hundreds of years medicine didn't involve computers, and for the formative part of their education and career, they didn't have to set passwords and type and navigate virtual menus for things that used to be available plainly labeled in filing cabinets. One of my coworkers was a doctor before immigrating to America, but didn't want to go back to med school here so is the best nurse. If I were on death's door she would be the one I'd want running the show. She saves lives constantly and she tells the doctors what to do for patients because she is sharp as a tack, but she needs help finding things when they do a system update and the menus changed, or any error message appears. And she has gotten faster at typing but still does it with two fingers and backspaces through sentences. And that's true for most of my older fellow nurses. They may not know what the "ctrl" and "num lock" keys do but they sure as shit know what to do to save a life when someone is trying to die. They'll be at work an hour or two late catching up with documenting on the computer but the patient will be stable thanks to them.
The_Hebrew_Hope ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:31:55 on September 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My crazy aunt harrassed and haraunged my poor mother to email her a picture of my new baby girl this summer. She said she had a Father's Day gift planned. So my mom takes a picture sends it to her via email.
Weeks after Father's Day the gift arrives. Not a nice framed picture or a World's Best Dad mug. No no no...
My aunt had opened the email. Took a picture of the screen with her own camera. Printed this picture out at Walgreens. Stuffed the awful, grainy picture in an envelope with nothing else, no card, no letter, and sent it to me.
Weeks AFTER Father's Day.
lukewarm_at ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:39:33 on October 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was doing a part time job doing small tasks and such at a company, one of the desk workers didn't know copy and paste. She was typing things off of one column and entering them into another column in excel. When I taught her how to do that with CTRL+C, CTRL+V, she thought I was a computer god.
rmzalbar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:15:51 on November 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I've been involved, to varying degrees, in software tech support via phone and/or screen sharing since 2002. I've got a million of them. My customers are in the mortgage loan business, typically in highly compensated, computer-centric data analysis roles. Here's just one that pops to mind (I've actually experienced this many times in slight permutations)
(on XP) Please click Start. Start, the green button that says START on it at the lower-left corner of your screen. Down. Left. Your other left. Put your finger ON the screen. Slide it left until it stops. Slide it down until it stops. Pick it up and read to me the word that was covered by your finger. "Start." Yes. Click that. "Click START?" YES.
I take the same sort of pride in my work that special education staff do.
GarethPW ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:53:24 on January 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend ask me once why there was such a large gap between two of his paragraphs in publisher. He'd pressed enter roughly ten times and failed to see why he was having the issue...
nmoleo64reader ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:47:19 on January 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My teacher just typed "www.google.com" into Bing and called Google Chrome a "search engine"
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:01:02 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Few years ago cousin called no sound on pc. "Always start with easiest to fix" that's my philosophy so I recommend making sure the speakers are plugged in to pc and wall she says yes we carry on no fix after I hang up your father lights into me telling me I'm insulting my cousin. Ten minutes later she called back wasn't plugged in
chung_my_wang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ee cummings, you are not.
thejabiskey ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:57:53 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
www.creedthoughts.gov.www\creedthoughts
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:09:56 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my old electronics instructors worked for an it company back in 80s he would have to drive 5 hours to.a business with a service Contract usually for . something trivial, one time he likes to tell his pc repair class they called in a bad monitor he drove 4 hours walked in turned the brightness up and then left
jondivision ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:36:59 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think everyone can relate to this one, but seeing older people use computers and slowly double click on EVERYTHING!!!
Emmtee2211 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:20:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Worked for a company that went bankrupt. We literally had to leave the premises on a Monday morning, but we were told we would have a chance to come back on a later date and collect some of our stuff as it was being bought out by another company. So one of our salesman proceeds to wrap tape around his phone, like several layers round that tapes the receiver to the body of the phone. So someone asks "Bob, what the hell are you doing?" He says he wants to make sure no one gets into his voicemail and listens or erases any of the messages any customers might leave in case they call looking for him in the next few days.
NORM_RN ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:24:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is actually making me aggressive right now...
Back2Bach ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:30 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A manager at work keeps referring to his "U.P.S." port (instead of his USB port) - yet he has the temerity to instruct others about tech.
Robseth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I used to work with a tech about 15 years ago who also used to mangle the english language a la Norm Crosby/Damon Wayans. He was really good at fixing older printers and not much else, however. As I was helping him out one day, he asked me to get him a "magna" cartridge. Thinking this was some sort of magnetic attachment, I asked to tell me what it looks like as I was having problems locating one. He says, "You know what I'm talking about, the pink one!"
He wanted a magenta toner cartridge.
phed99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:15:19 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My father used to ask me to help him when he was having trouble with his computer. Helping him fix his computer consists of me standing behind him and randomly clicking on things until I tell him to stop.
_PSP_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:27:50 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A colleague asked the IT department to send a technician to his office to set up a zip file.
a_caidan_abroad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:28:05 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A professor called tech support to have them change her desktop wallpaper
joker38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe, access to these options was locked like crazy?
a_caidan_abroad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:13:33 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone had used this guy's computer before he came into work, and that person forgot to log out. Instead of just going to the menu and choosing "log off" or even turning the computer off and back on , he called IT and sat on hold for 30 minutes so they could tell him to do those things.
silverfishing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:16:39 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A coworker was trying to export a map from some GIS software. I was sitting opposite, so I couldn't see his screen. Trying to give instructions. Unfortunately we kept getting stuck on "click file, then export" so I went round to his desk to see why export wasn't an option in his file menu. Somehow he'd managed to take a screenshot of the mapping software, paste it into a word document and was now navigating the Word menus looking for mapping options.
tanyanubin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:19:31 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My (70-something) mom sat down at the computer desk, took the mouse in her hand, and began to wave it around in the air. Clueless lol!
droneondrone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:26:32 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not knowing how to click the mouse and that ot wasnt touch screen and you cant yell at it for commands.
afletch101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:29:30 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The CEO of the business I work for did a presentation with his laptop in a meeting room, when he finished he went back to his office and called me (IT Support) to say his computer wont turn on. When I get their his docking station is missing the laptop, which was still in the meeting room.
Akruhl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:39:50 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend (16) always goes to www.google.com and then types the website adress into the google search bar.
twiistedtwilight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:39 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have so many stories from my grandmother, but this one has to stand out the most.
I had just gotten out of work and my grandmother calls me FRANTIC. Says I need to show up ASAP because shes trying to print something important and it's not printing. I reluctantly rush up to her house and she explains that it stopped because the printer ran out of paper and she shows me how she replaced the paper but her stuff still wasn't printing.
Looked at the computer screen and the dialogue exclaiming she was out of paper was still up, so I pressed "retry" and sure enough, it worked.
skinnyatlas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:53 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom picked up the receiver to the phone and dialed the number on the computer keyboard over and over and could not realize why the phone was not ringing.
littlejawn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:13 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Years ago, my mom yelled at me for closing out of a window when I just minimized it. Not much has changed.
Xtremerofl44 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:17 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The arrow on the screen is me right?
shrekthethird2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:11:21 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
1999, introducing my mother to Windows and Office. A few (seemingly) fruitful hours into her first Word lesson, this happens:
"OK Mom, now use the mouse to click the Save button on the toolbar, here" [pointing]
She suddenly lifts the corded mouse off the mousepad and taps the screen with it.
RoboCopFlavored ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:11:49 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Poli Sci professor in a dictatorship class wanted to show us a speech by Hitler.
He first starts by gliding the mouse over the taskbar, ignoring Chrome and Firefox to press the start menu and click on Internet Explorer from there. He then types just Google in the address bar and presses enter. He arrives at Bing because of IE so he clicks on Google from Bing.
Then he typed in 'YouTube Hitler Speech's and got to a video from Google.
Goldsound ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:14:38 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My database management prof did this the other day.
I got up and had to leave the classroom for a little while after that one.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:18:30 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
accidentally forwarding a pic of a naked woman to your mother's email address
Bolloux ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:22:11 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A guy hunting and pecking away at the keyboard wondering why he couldn't enter text.
Yeah, you have to give the box keyboard focus.
He was the CTO of the company and the sole reason the entire QA, Support and development departments found new jobs and left.
subtle_allusion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:30:34 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Paying for AOL.
gwendifierce ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:47 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Many years ago in a community college into to computer basics type of course (I forget the actual course name, it was a prerequisite for the Microsoft Office courses), this older lady had received a laptop for Christmas and took the course so she could learn how to use it.
One point in the course we were told to print an assignment at home and clear the floppy disks before next class... Well the lady leaned over to me and asked what cleaner I used. I didn't understand, and she explained that she used regular windex to clean her floppy disk. I nicely told her that "clear" meant "erase". "Clear" was bad terminology on the instructor's part and not explained well for the first time computer users. The lady was trying though. I helped her many times throughout that course and hope she was able to use her laptop eventually.
weedrea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:53:12 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone in my work uses the mouse rotated at 180 degrees. Quite a skill - up is down, left is right. Apparently they were taught that way!
meh_incarnate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:58:09 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Watched someone "reboot" a computer by turning the monitor on and off.
nakedinthewoods ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:58:17 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Hit any key," I instructed. Short pause, obviously searching... Exasperated voice on the phone replied "I don't have an ANY key!"
BitcoinBanker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Simpsons
ActuallyRuben ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:01:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Using the minimize button to "close" a program, then start a new instance of the program, multiple times in a row
RussianRouletteLoser ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:01:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm definitely not anywhere near a professional grade tech support dude/dudette, but I'm usually able to help troubleshoot friends have with Windows.
The problem I get most is if we're playing Counterstrike and someone complains about their frames.
Over time, I've learned to automatically suggest checking the power plan.
Half the damn time the bloke has it set on power saver.
If it's not that, it's because he has about 30 tabs open on chrome.
The power saver one is a bit hard to detect, though so...
cockdragon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:07:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I saw a guy try to magically copy/paste text from one computer to another. Like he pressed ctrl+c on a laptop and then pressed ctrl+v on his desktop keyboard, and was baffled that the text didn't transfer. This was like 2011 and the guy was under 50.
Timberwolf_88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I saw a guy mashing in a floppy into a CD drive, needless to say that cd drive was FUBAR after that. I've seen a lot, working as a sysadmin and tech manager I've had the dspleasure of seeing too much
MasterGamer2476 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:13:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my high school tech class my friend and I were screwing around by closing each others tabs by pressing alt+W. The teacher found out and decided I was hacking the school and I got reported to the principal. She also notified all my other teachers so that was fun
DrogonsRightWing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:14:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for a company that sold ILFD's as first line support (basically tv screens with computers built in that are touch screen).
A school bought one of our screens and they rang up complaining about being sold a dead unit as it wouldn't turn on or respond to anything.
Spent 20 mins on the phone getting them to plug in the power cable. Spent another 40 mins convincing them to press the ON button because they were afraid the screen would blow up.
Funniest support call I have ever had to deal with.
Rance_Mulliniks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Picked up mouse and tapped it on the table twice when told to double click.
Masterpoda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:17:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom once tried to plug her iPod shuffle into the Disk Drive open button. After jiggling it around and trying to make it fit, the tray slid open and she screamed.
(I got her a shuffle because I figured the fewer buttons, the better.)
Jakinator178 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:17:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Something I am certain we are all guilty of: clicking on an ad with some promise of computer enhancement or a prize.
Please parents, download an ad-blocker add on for any browser (from the browser's add-on/plug-in/doohickey shop) that anybody under 14 is able to access.
Renax127 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:23:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guy faxed me his email address
BitcoinBanker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:41:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Classic Guy.
Im_Not_Sleeping ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:29:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad was trying to instruct my grandpa how to fix something with his computer on the phone. At one point, my dad told him to close all windows. My sweet, sweet grandpa stood up and closed every single window in his house and got back on the phone.
superfuluous_u ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:29:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
New hire didn't know how to turn on her computer. This was after she'd been working in another department for nearly a year. She didn't last long with us. I think she was capable of working in my department but completely lacked any motivation to learn basic computer skills.
Unreasonable_Seagull ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:32:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dad - Why is everything coming up in capitals?
Me - Er, caps lock
Dad - What does caps lock mean?
Me - This key here. With the little green light. It says caps lock.
lervein ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:33:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lady I work with came to me complaining that the meeting room lap top isn't working. She's all flustered and tries showing me what's wrong. She's puts the cursor of a link and repeatedly presses the space bar, looking at me in desperation, "see, nothing!"
I smiled and showed her where to actually use the clicker on the track pad. She sighed and left.
northwest_vae ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:34:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had somebody bring his computer into our shop. He spraypainted his motherboard with lead based paint because it "looked cooler"
FuffyKitty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: Type 'zero'
User: the number zero or the letter zero?
MinimalFractal729 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not even computer illiteracy. They were a grown adult who had never heard of the letter 'o'?
onebignothingatall ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:53:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bless her heart but when she was alive my grandma thought she could break the internet. Like...the whole internet, for everyone everywhere.
johnnyhammerstixx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:03:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Like with a cloth?"
shadyinternets ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my dad still thinks his email is "on his computer" or "on his phone".
hes only like 60, not stupid, just no clue with these things. his work gave him a laptop and smart phone and showed him the few buttons to do the basics.
he had no idea he could have his email on his phone and laptop, cause it was not ON any of his devices. i cant believe he never just realized it worked that way by simply seeing the same things in both places.... good ole dad.
kalgary ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:13:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Old bitch at my work makes invoices. On the left side is the 'bill to' and on the right side there is a 'ship to'. Usually they are the same place. But often I see a typo like XYZ Corporation on the left and XZY Corporation on the right. She is literally typing everything. Does not know how to cut and paste.
She also showed me that you can use Excel to double a number. Enter the starting number in A1. In A2, enter "=A1*2", and it will double it! Amazing.
Of course she makes 2x what I make. I think she gives sexual favours to some old guy at the executive level. Definitely a double digit IQ.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Double digit you say? Lucky her. Wish I that smart!
Talky_Walker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:44:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a science teacher who liked to show the class videos. When he wanted to look something up he would search for YouTube, click on that, click on the youtube search bar, then type something like,"youtube videos of ranger bass boat commercial song" or something like that. He never pulled them up before class so there was always that painful minute or two of watching him go through this whole process.
blackasssnake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:38:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
New to computer guy sits down. Lifts mouse into air
prairir001 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my friends mom thought that her computer actually had a virus when a pop up came on, he had to explain that the computer pop ups were just people scamming them.
Piefecta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I needed a blank piece of printer paper so I printed a blank word document instead of just taking a piece of paper out of the printer tray.
InHerRearWithoutGear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:47:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My neighbor came over to do some research and print some things for homework. She printed to the Google page that came up after the searched..
Yeomama88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:48:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
-Opens Internet explorer_ -Searches Google in Yahoo Search Bar_ -Googles Mapquest.com-
Carfan99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Finally a good one for me...2 executive assistant at a place I worked. One phones me and asks for computer help and says the other one is having issues too...
I get up there, check their screens Executive assistant 1: typing a letter in excel Executive assistant 2: making an inventory tracking table on word
Year 1998 .
mattjohn30 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:53:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in sales at a software company. Our product is very high tech electrical engineering software. The coworker is 40+ years old. He asked me to help him find some info in a document. I told him to use the F3 key to search the document. He hesitates then hits the "F" and the 3 key at the same time. I tell him no, the Function three key. he hesitates and does it again. I show him the key, explain what it does and we continue on. Not 30 seconds later I ask him to hit "F3". He hesistates a moment then presses the "F" key and then the "3" key. This man makes twice what i do.
unfiltered_wheatbeer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:55:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work for a small computer repair shop that occasionally helped elderly people with their computers.
I helped an older couple (but not that old, maybe 60s?) learn how to use a mouse. Neither of them had ever even touched a mouse before. It took them a while to get the hang of moving around the on-screen cursor via a physical object.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:55:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every apple product, apple, the hardware company. Have you seen apple hardware on the inside?
ChthonicPuck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:58:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in the Digital department of my company. I ask a writer to go to one of our own sites to look at a page. Instead of going directly to our site, he did the following while I watched in horror:
Opened chrome > searched for Google.com > searched for our website.
Separately, my dad used to run daily tune ups on the family computer (maybe unnecessary, but not bad) but would also manually run the Memory defragmenter and refused to believe me when I told him how pointless that was when he turns off the computer.
I've got more stories with him like this but I like the guy so I'm not going to completely trash him.
CoorsFight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like, he would start the defrag and then shut the computer off right away?
ChthonicPuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:13:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He would shut the computer off when he was finished at night, but didn't believe me that memory didn't save. I think the computer had a slow HDD so he was looking for different ways of speeding the computer up.
CartManJon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:00:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An accounting lady I know frequently needs to send PDF invoices and other documents to various people. She receives the documents in PDF format via email, prints out the PDF, scans in the PDF to her computer, attaches the PDF to email and sends out.
madbeetzyo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmother, bless her heart, asked me to come back inside as I was getting ready to leave. I had just set up her first ever desktop computer, and apparently it was doing something weird on the screen now.
I go back inside, move the mouse, and explain to her what a screensaver is...
badpacifist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got a call from a woman saying something is wrong with her computer, she'd turned it off, but it was clearly still on - because her monitor was smoking.
Everyone else had left for the day so I went up to see what she was talking about. Sure enough, her fucking monitor was smoking. She then informs me that she'd turned the computer off after the screen went black.
So I unplugged the damn thing and I generally looked around to see if there was any obvious problem, but I had no idea why the hell her monitor was smoking.
Then I looked at her. She's standing there worried holding this little flower pot...and it's dripping.
She kept the damn thing on top of her monitor and watered it every night before going home.
I will grant that this was the late '90s and she was older and unfamiliar with computers...but seriously?
I mean, water + electronics = bad shit, has been known for a while now, right?
They bought her a new bigger screen to replace it. Brilliant.
K8E4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:07:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A new coworker of mine was back and forth to the photocopier all day. The next day she asked me "K8E4, this is the best way to do this, right?" She had a bunch of word documents that she needed in PDF format. In order to achieve this she was printing them and then scanning them back to her email
SELSHRT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:22:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a sales guy who worked for me once who used a nice 24" oled second monitor as a fucking literal bulletin board while working only on his MacBook Air screen. He taped post it 'to-do's' all over and even tucked prospecting business cards between the screen and monitor bezel.
No. Not kidding. Just unreal. Yeah he got let go.
233C ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:38:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
there will come a time when we will all be the butt of the joke.
Husky117 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:58:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
don't know if this counts but i was trying to play xcom 2 but i was worried about the heat coming from my GPU, considering my PC is in the living room where my family ALLWAYS! cranks the heater upto max i decided to take my PC into my room and strap a desk fan to the top of my PC and open the window
anyway my pop was trying to explain how i was wrong and i didn't know what i was talking about when i have to turn the TV on for him everyday because "it's too complicated"
DrunkenGolfer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:01:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a university computer lab in 1989. At the time, students would boot the PC's with a floppy disk and save documents on the floppy disks. This chick sat down next to me and, after contemplating her dilemma for far too long, she finally folded her 5.25" floppy disk in two and jammed it in the 3.5" slot. She was dumbfounded as to why the computer would not boot.
ParadiseNotLost ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:01:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably too late, but my great-uncle once typed an entire letter into the address bar at the top of his internet browser.
jwlesvurn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:45:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad got a computer in 1987. He'd never seen anyone use a mouse before so he started using it upside down. He says he pictured holding a mouse with the tail towards the palm of his hand. Anyway, 30 years later he still uses the mouse upside down. Whenever I try to troubleshoot over the phone and I say "right click" he'll ask, "my right click or yours?" It drives me nuts.
DL6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:13:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Used to work at GS... so many stories!
Once a guy came in with a virus on his machine. But he didn't know what that meant. I tried to explain it to him, which only made him more upset. So he then demanded that "they" shut down the internet until they get it cleaned up. I attempted to explain that there is no way to shut off the internet, and there will always be malicious people. He looked at the other employees as though I was making this all up. Then he just took his computer and left.
DonutStix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:22:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We were in the airplane and she wanted me to look something up but we had no internet and she knew we couldnt get the airplane wifi
Then she asked "why dont you use the wifi back home"... I still dont understand
PaleBlueDotMatrix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:22:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a mobile tech support agent, I pulled up to a house and walked up to the front door. As it sometimes happens, the home owner, a younger guy, opened the door before I got to the entrance and welcomed me in without saying much. I introduced myself and I asked where the computer was and he looked at me strangely, and said, "upstairs" with kind of a weird accent.
I went upstairs and he showed me the computer. It was old, completely disassembled, scattered throughout the room. I thought, "Well, this is going to be interesting." He headed down stairs leaving me in the bedroom.
Something just didn't seem right since the computer was missing major components, plus the guy was giving off a weird vibe, so I grab my bag and head downstairs.
He's standing in the front entrance way on the phone.
Again, in his strange accent, he says, "Mom, the computer guy's here..."
Even from six feet away, I hear the person on the other side SCREAMING, "Who's in the house?!"
The look on the guy's face is utter confusion and he hands me the phone with her still screaming. I then realized something is way wrong and as I put the phone to my ear I hear the trembling, terrified voice of a mother, who is at work, scared to death because someone is in her home. I try to explain I'm there to fix the computer, but she doesn't understand. Then it hits me.
I pull out my paperwork and ask her if the address is hers...and it's not. I'm in the wrong house with her mentally disabled son who coincidentally opened the door to their house the moment I'm walking up. I bounced the fuck out and prayed she didn't come hammer on the door of her next door neighbor who was my real appointment.
First and only time I ever got an address wrong.
DL6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:42:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once had to show a lady how to use the mouse. She didn't understand that was how you move the cursor, or that you can click on things.
She was a very nice old lady. Someone had convinced her she must have a computer. I asked her what she wanted to use it for, she had no idea.
So I told her she probably shouldn't buy one. If she was interested, she should attend some of the free senior classes in town.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:57:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma picking up the mouse and pointing it at the screen.
American_Scarface ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:36:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I walked into the office one day and saw my coworker on the phone with IT. Apparently there was a problem with the computer. They had asked her go ahead to turn it off and turn it on again and after watching her turn the monitor on and off I informed her that they meant the tower. To which she replied,"that's too small to be a tower. " My mistake I guess
hitlersbleachedanus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:37:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom bought a keyboard so she could use it at her new job. the same day she brings said keyboard to work, hee supervisor ends up getting a virus on her own computer. The small business goes on lock down while the computers are all checked and cleaned. Sees that my mom has a different keyboard, and assume that that is the culprit.
TribeWars ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:42:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/talesfromtechsupport for people who enjoy these kinds of stories.
linguistudies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:45:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work at an apartment complex with minimum rents at $1200 for a one bedroom, and around our area the absolute lowest rent you can find is about $950. An older man came into our office once looking for a place with a price limit of $500. You could tell he was definitely homeless and had been so for some time. My manager wanted to help him out a bit and suggested he look for a roommate, and told him he could try Craigslist and we'd let him use our computer for a bit to do so. After hearing that, any hope immediately drained from his face and he said "I would do that, but I don't know how to read." :(
Not only computer illiterate, but actual illiterate.
felixsaurus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:48:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum got a new laptop and turned to me and said "oh can put Netflix on my laptop?" I wasn't sure if she was kidding but then I explained to her that it was a website
vuuv95 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:55:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just today at uni, my lecturer wanted to make the PowerPoint bigger for us all to see but instead of clicking slideshow, he minimised the sidebar that showed all the slides to enlarge the PowerPoint slide. No one corrected him :/
ZigguratofDoom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:55:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I saw a guy use the CD rom drive as a cup holder back in 1998.
calmiswar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:57:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know I'm really late here and this will probably get buried but here goes.. Our college was making some infrastructural upgrades to all the classrooms and one of them was installing projectors in all classes. So the teachers all had problems initially getting used to it.. hooking it up, settings and all that.
Then this lady comes along to take class and for some reason, the projector image is slightly tilted. So instead of asking someone to manually adjust the projector, she proceeded to tilt the laptop to correct it.
We all collectively died a little that day.
KayakBassFisher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:13:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We hired a "Oracle DBA" once, she didn't know what the Start Button in Windows was. Barely knew how to use a pc. Now, did she get fired for lying on her resume? Nope, they made her a developer in stead. She's now one of their top developers. (Everyone better has left and been replaced by shittier)
DGD11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:28:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here's a story about me that I feel like in a few years might end up on the internet.
I have a touchscreen laptop, and I have had one for about 4 years. I use the touchscreen non-stop, sometimes not using the mouse for anything for hours. Well, one day I'm at the school my mom works at and this little girl (probably about 7) asks me for help with something on the computer (an old school computer with one of those huge white monitors). I start trying to scroll with my finger and as I'm getting visibly frustrated I tell her the computer must just be frozen. So she takes the mouse and moves the cursor and looks at me like I'm the dumbest person alive. I still to this day feel like the dumbest person alive for that.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:34:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll play. Work ski resort. Have tablets that are rugged, weather proof etc.
Go to lifties. Liftie has problem... Tablet Frozen.... She takes the tablet to the hut and.... Puts it on.... The.... Heater...
Because the application was frozen...... The tablet needed heating up.....
Now instead of chuckling the manager says to me, "can you make sure all the tablets are good, some sites do not have huts w heaters"
Now there are two people standing in front of me, trying to warm up a tablet to fix a software "freezing" issue.
My brain froze, it was so stupid I couldn't laugh. It was so stupjd nothing has seemed stupid since....
Mrstoaster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:06:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My FIL is coming to visit us in a few weeks. He will have to do some work from our place during his visit. He called to ask if he could give out my husband's email address so his clients could reach him while he is here. My husband (who works in IT support) asked him why couldn't use his own email address. Apparently he thought he could only access his email from his home computer.
clockwork2112 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:07:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
F9 is the "look up" key you press in our company's computer interface to list relevant words/codes you can click on to fill whatever field you're typing in. Coworker was orienting a middle aged woman to work as a secretary. He told her to press F9. She pressed F then 9. Little bit later, when she got the hang of the F9 key, one of the times he told her to "look up" while they were entering something, instead of pressing F9, she took her hands away from the mouse and keyboard and looked directly up at the ceiling.
kristenij ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:08:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grandad lifting the mouse off the table and touching it onto the screen when I told him to point the mouse at something
sorrydaveicantdothat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:12:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back when we used to rent dvds and return them to the shop my step dad would rewind them back to the start.
He also asked me if a school wouldnt receive an email because it was closed when he sent it.
Shekster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:18:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My teacher was waiting for a webpage to load and genuinely asked if the internet was being slow because the weather was "too hot".
vandozza ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:15:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My father, with a new iMac, deleting the /Library and /users/Library folders shortly after first boot as those folders were "full of books I'll never read."
sahilsamunder ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:16:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ever Since you fixed that paper jam my computer has been running slower.
jb4mad4it ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:21:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My fiancee's mother saw that she was a little out of frame on a Skype call with us. Instead of titling the screen down, she went and changed into high heels.
carmooch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:21:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lady at work asked who Norply was and why they were emailing her. It was an email from our "noreply" mail account.
yuemeigui ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:29:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lets start by ignoring the fact that I have a contract which says I charge a $25 per page nuisance fee if clients send me a document as a PDF instead of doc, docx, odt, or txt...
Lets also ignore the fact that the document was 300 pages long.
Lets just focus on them sending it password protected, being unable to find the password, sending it again from a colleague's computer in the same corporate headquarters because it opened fine on that machine, being asked to send as a doc, not sending as a doc, and sending two more times from two more coworkers' computers over a 10 day period before they finally found the password.
$7500 for CTRL-A, CTRL-C, CTRL-V.
astalavista114 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
May I ask what's wrong with PDFs?
yuemeigui ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm receiving documents for the sole purpose of editing them and/or rewriting them in another language. I can't do that if it's PDF.
astalavista114 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, yeah, that makes sense.
MystX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:30:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like everyone else here I'm the family unpaid tech fixer.
So I'm at a family bbq and I get the "Oh MystX I have a problem you might be able to fix..." yaaaaayyyy
This guy had a laptop with some of those touch sensitive buttons. You know where there's a button for mute or screen brightness or whatever - there was also a long strip you slide your finger along to increase or decrease volume.
The problem was, the laptop opened a new excel spreadsheet for every increment of that touch-sensitive slider. If you slid your finger from one end to the other the thing opened like 50 spreadsheets. It was glorious.
I basically noped the fuck out and told them I didn't know how to make a laptop do that even if I wanted to.
Blueeyedfoxie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:35:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tried to explain to my 85 year old nan about how the cloud worked and how she could see photos that we shared to her. Her response was 'can pilots see my photos?!'... I gave up after that
Mehnard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:50:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
While teaching a class on basic computer skills, I watched an old woman pick up her mouse to move the arrow towards the top of the screen.
fletche00 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:52:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We were receiving instructions for new software we were using. Pretty simple stuff, and PDFs were included with instructions. I get a call from HR asking me a few questions since I understood it. HR didn't quite understand what the PDF was. They thought the company logo on the PDF would take them to the appropriate website. I took some explaining and a lot of holding back laughter to explain that what they were clicking was just a logo.
orcrates ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:17:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work for an ISP, and in this case it was through the phone line. Guy phones in, Internet down. I go though it all, checking modem lights, checking ADSL filters, trying the main telephone socket (he had to clump his computer downstairs for this). Nothing. I tested the phone line, inconclusive. Sometimes means an issue. I'm stumped, and then the 20-minute call limit chimes as we're a premium rate service, and so I ask for a number to call him back on. He says a mobile number, so I ask for his land-line curious to know if I can hear noise on the line. I can't call him on the landline he says, the phone company are outside digging up the road so he's had to use his mobile.
One other one - lady calls in, Windows xp, loads of advert windows popping up so needs help working out what's causing it. I tell her to close all the windows for now. Silence. She comes back out of breath - she's closed all the windows in the house.
jauntygoat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:21:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Waaaaay too late but here goes. My buddies parents were in their 60's when email exploded and became popular. His mother had an email account but really didnt know how to use it and was terrified of hitting a button and completely ruining the computer. So she would write longhand letters and have her husband take a photo of the letter, and then the father would email those. So my buddy would get massive files of pictures of a handwritten letter.
satysin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:25:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a very large company years ago and all of us in the IT department had to help with a couple of helpdesk tickets every now and then to "stay connected" with the users.
Anyway my story... I had a helpdesk ticket that "I need more pages in Word" from some middle aged woman. So I slowly get up from my comfy office chair and wonder round thinking something is wrong with Word. Turns out she thought Word had a limited number of pages and that she had to put her old documents in the Recycle Bin so Word would "have more pages". So she opened up a document in Word and looked at how many pages were in the document then make a note of it on a piece of paper and delete the document. She kept doing this until she had "freed up" enough pages for what she needed.
So the document she was working on was going to be more pages than she had available in all of her documents on the computer. So she was freaking out and raised a Sev1 ticket. I had to explain to her with a straight face that Word has limitless pages. How she had been a PA (of sorts) for 20 years I have no idea.
monstrinhotron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:28:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my mum lifting the mouse up to the screen to try and move the pointer. In her defense it was 1991 and computer mice were not common.
BillyBumBrain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:29:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My favourite was when somebody's personal printer was only producing blank pages. The paper would come through just fine, but with no words on it. I eventually identified the issue: the document she was printing contained no words.
vtron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:44:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm too late to the party, but I'll share anyway.
We wrote a test procedure for a widget we designed and wanted to make sure it could be followed by someone without much technical knowledge. So we asked Sue, our most technically illiterate coworker, to go through the procedure. The first step was something like, "plug supplied USB cord into computer." She somehow plugged the USB connector into the ethernet port and proudly proclaimed that she completed step one.
We found someone else to go through the procedure. It went much better.
Andor86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:57:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in 4th grade (90's), we had a single amiga 500 per class room. One particular day our slightly past middle aged teacher attempted to show us something on the computer. She starts by lifting the mouse into the air and waving it around, expecting the cursor to move.
miyaliya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:58:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My sister, 15 years old, doesn't know how to create a new folder, because "the IT teacher prefers to focus on making presentations and painting her own nails". I didn't really dig into the subject, but probably that's one of many things she can't do.
And you tell me her generation is not computer illiterate
FromFRance ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:50:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
It was in eighties... Time of MSDOS, dialup modems and 5-1/4 diskettes... I worked for an outfit who produced internal and external modems for PCs and we've developped a program helping people doing file transfert over dialup connections... Kind of Kermit but with slick Gui... There was a mode of bulk transfert of all diskette contents over dialup connection, called 'Disk transfer'. So one evening i'm late in the office and the tech support phone is ringing. I'm not doing tech support, but the bug i was chasing proved really nasty one, and i wanted to clear my head, so i answered...:
Admicos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:54:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friends kept writing '' (two single ones) instead of " (double) on Excel and complaining about "y u no work" and the teacher and i was like "How did you even manage to get here?"
Jerrykmts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:59:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was helping a classmate with a power point presentation, I told him "cool, let's watch it. Press f5"
I saw him slowly reach and tap "f" then go and slowly tap "5" lol
Dant2k ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:01:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I kid you not (in a college class):
Classmate: "My computer is not working... It's just a black screen"
I walk over to help out
Me: "umm your computer isn't even on. You have to click that button to turn it on"
Classmate: "oh my i didn't know you have to turn them on lol. I had no idea haha. I don't know much about computers."
this person was like 23... been in college for over 3 years
Rofl
KillgarOfKillgaria ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:14:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My mom and dad fell for one of those "YOUR COMPUTER MIGHT HAVE A VIRUS! CLICK HERE TO FIX!" pop-up ads that appear from time to time.
While I expect this from people who aren't knowledgeable around computers and the dangers associated with venturing into the wild internets, this caught me completely off guard, as both of them are completely tech-savvy. They are the ones who taught me how to use a computer back when I was a kid to begin with.
They proceeded to not only buy the software the ad showed (some random ass malware posing as anti-virus), but they also got on a call with "costumer support" and provided some dude over on Portugal called "Manuel" with all their email login dada and credit card numbers.
I spent the next hour wiping their PC clean of the malware and traces of it while also trying to change all their passwords before the Manuel guy on the other side had a chance to do it himself and hijack their accounts. I finally told them to cancel their credit cards and went down to do something else.
A few minutes later my mum just comes down with her phone on call
"Hey, Manuel from the software company just called, he wants to know if we can give him the new email password so he can set up our super anti-virus".
TL;DR: Tech-savvy parents fall for pop-up ad, end up giving their email passwords and credit card info to some dude called Manuel. Manuel later calls wondering why parents (me) changed their passwords and if he can have them.
EDIT: I know you are reading this Manuel. I'll fucking find you.
StrongPrints ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:22:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Former big boss would punch in list of numbers into excel and then reinput them into his calculator to add them up
IndeedHowlandReed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:34:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's a woman at work that
Every folder in a tree, then closes them all down after she has opened the document she's looking for.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:38:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An ex member of staff in my family's small business couldn't insert images into a word document so she printed the document and the images and then glued them together and finally scanned that through and emailed that. Whole process took her about 40 minutes. Notice how I said "ex".
paross ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:42:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at the Apple Store once. There was a tech helping this older lady learn how to use her new computer in a "One-To-One" training session.
They are supposed to teach using the socratic method, so they never do anything for people. The tech said something like, "Okay, now that we have your computer set up, let's take it for a test drive. Use your mouse and click on that blue face at the bottom of the screen".
The older lady physically picked up the mouse and tapped the screen with it. She had no idea about input peripherals. None.
catching_signals ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:43:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When my mom first started using the Internet, she received an email from someone with a long link. One of those URLs with many random characters. Instead of clicking on it, or even just copy/pasting, she was writing the entire length of the URL down on a piece of paper and planned to then type it into the address bar. I was tempted to let her keep going and see how long it would take, but I couldn't sit by and watch...
brooker1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:07:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
had a teacher in trades school that would go to youtube by googleing utube
stonecoldchile ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:08:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Older women at work printed out a 30 page excel and manual added every number with a calculator, she would then staple the calculator tape to the 30 page document and file away, I now have a file cabinet full of 10 years of these documents
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:08:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I saw a Tanzanian nun once write a letter by hand and then try to feed it Into the cd drive to email it.
DrToiletPaper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:08:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just upgraded whole company to XP, the common issue was trying to find the start menu.
Perthcrossfitter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:09:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for an electrical retailer when I was younger (maybe 15 years back now). We sold a middle-aged woman a computer and I was sent to install it for her.
Got it all out and plugged in, and she asks if I can show her the basics of how to use it (assuming because it was a new OS for her or something). I tell her "ok, first things first use the mouse and click on the start button"... She lifts the mouse, places it on the monitor and tries to move the cursor..
I've worked in IT for the 14 years since and never seen anything this bad.
CrisisOfConsonant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:10:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once worked as a network administrator/tech support in a small college.
I once had a guy call me because his floppy disk drive wasn't working. He couldn't stick a disk in there. I went over to his building and found the problem was that there was already a disk in the disk drive. It wasn't jammed or anything he just didn't eject it first.
About a week later he called me again and said his disk drive was broken. I asked him if there was a disk already in there. He said no. I asked him to push the eject button, he said he did and nothing happened. So I walked over, there was a disk already in his floppy disk drive.
This guy was one of the computer science teachers.
Rogue177 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:11:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother got an iPhone for Christmas. She had a flip phone that didn't take pictures before that, so figuring out the phones camera was an adventure.
She told me, "every time I press the round button to take the picture, the app closes. Is it broken? I asked her to try taking a pic of my cat to see wtf she was on about.
She was pressing the home button.
fixumdude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:11:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do tech support for an older gentleman who keeps calling me with reports that he "can't get the internet to come up at all".
Each time I log into his PC (thank goodness for remote access) the problem is that he has accidentally zoomed IE all the way out and his yahoo mail is a tiny speck in the upper left corner.
We then go through the process of clicking on gear/zoom/100% and he takes careful notes....then I receive the same call a couple months later.
br0wnb0y ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:11:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
working for a prepaid credit card company and had to continuously explain to customers that the address bar is not the same as the search function of webpage.
side note fraudsters figured that people were doing this and made a fake site to steal card information.
Solkiller ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:12:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had a professor who was teaching a computer hardware class. This was back in like 2004. I had been in IT for several years but just gone back to get formal education on it, because companies seem to put more weight into that. Already had numerous certifications, but whatever. During a discussion he tells me he is having problems with his CD Rom and that it wont open. Hes afraid something is stuck. I mention that if he brings it in I will be happy to take a look at it.
I come into class and its plugged in and running. So I hit the eject button and sure enough it starts to eject and then closes. Take the case off, and see that he has put 1 5/8 inch deck screws into the side of the CD Rom to attach it to the case. I asked him about it and he said he lost the little screws that went with it and didn't figure it made a difference.
MisPosMol ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:12:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When we were introducing autotellers, we had a special "show the oldies" day. So we chose an old bloke, and walked him through how to use the autoteller while everyone else watched. We showed him how to put his card in (the right way up after three times), type his PIN, and select an account. We then asked him to tell the computer how much he wanted. He leaned into the card slot and said clearly "I'd like twenty dollars, please." The thing is, computer illiterate or not, he's right. That's how it should've worked :) (Like Scotty in that Star Trek movie.)
natlach ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:12:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At my old position, my manager (around 40 yrs old) asked me to clear up some space in a general Outlook inbox that the whole team used by deleting some really old sent messages. She advised me it might take awhile so just do a little bit at a time whenever we were slow.
Now, I assumed that "it might take awhile" b/c that shared Outlook inbox was notorious for being slow but I still managed to finish the task in less than 5 mins.
My manager called me and asked how I managed to do things so quickly. Turns out, she had no idea about being able to shift+click...or ctrl+click...or really anything else along those lines. She had been going into each email INDIVIDUALLY and clicking delete. Took her 2 hours the last time she did it.
Later I brought it up to a co-worker, who is in her early 30s and has a Masters, and she too had no idea about any of this and had been doing the same thing to clear out her Outlook.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:15:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Swallowing an exception without logging.
palcente ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
amateur, that's the "empty catch" design pattern
cadomski ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:17:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a software developer. We ask people to submit screenshots on any error they see in the UI. I once saw a picture of someone's monitor that was taken with a camera. They literally took a screen shot.
excalibro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:20:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in IT, and the closest thing I have is less computer illiteracy, and more a general misunderstanding of our services. We help with tech problems. Client emails in about missing chairs in a lab. Someone just went in and took their chairs, and he emailed us for an answer. If it were a computer, sure. And it was in a computer lab, so it may have been fine.
However, he wanted us to investigate for lab chairs. We don't do hands-on service, it is purely over phone or forms. Not much we could do for the guy. I never did get to hear how it ended. I do wonder if he ever found those chairs though.
WaaahnPunch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:20:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in IT. Might have posted this before. For crazy organisation and poor business planning reasons, I can't remote into our user machines, I have to give instructions for support over the phone and get them to describe what is happening. Mental.
Anyway! Asked a lady to close any windows she had open before we started. As soon as I said that I heard the phone put down on the desk as she got up and slammed a window shut.
Edit: A word. I'm on mobile. On the crapper. At work. Need 5 mins peace.
im_at_work0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:21:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
In college my Intro to Web Design professor, while showing her screen on a projector for the whole class, got to Google Images by going to google.com and searching 'images'.
dr_smanggalang ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:21:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my clients bought a new macbook pro. But still does all her work on a 10 year old windows box with a crt monitor, just because thats where all her photos are saved
jaspermatt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:22:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A part from the classic 'typing the URL into Google' my dad checks his emails by googling 'bt office,' clicks the link, clicks the link on the BT homepage that takes you to some office 365 office mail website, then logs in. I tell him countless times that you just go straight to the office 365 website and log in but he stubbornly refuses and always goes the long way round JUST TO PISS ME OFF AND IT WORKS.
wittyshit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:22:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
not exactly a computer but I had a basketball coach who was old and struggled with technology. He used to answer his flip phone upside down and complain that cell phones never got good connection
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:23:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to type hyperlinks into emails and send them to me. She'd often make mistakes and the link wouldn't work. I told her to just copy and paste the link in the email to me next time and she had no idea what that meant.
Oh, and she still uses AOL to send emails.
Dedge77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:26:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A friend asked me round to fix his ยฃ1500 laptop that he purchased for browsing the web. He said he was struggling to see what was on his screen.
He had installed almost a dozen toolbars within IE and was left with about an inch and a half to see the actual page. Whilst removing/disabling them there was the bog standard flash animated gif "you have a virus, click here" and he told me I better click on it as his laptop just got another virus.
I wanted to take the laptop away from him as it was being sorely misused.
theblue1234 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:34:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was 1994... I witness a high school teacher hold a mouse against the monitor where the cursor was and moved it around to make the pointer move
ohskeefskeef ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:36:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Co worker was asked to restart computer to resolve an issue and turned the monitor off, waited 5 seconds, and turned it back on.
ONLYREPOSTSFRONTPAGE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:39 on August 25, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What a dumb cunt! I'm assuming you are a greeter at Walmart or Tuesday lunchtime stripper if you have such moronic fucking coworkers!
euphoriatheory ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:41:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The age of touch screens is upon us, so not necessarily illiterate here...
I work in an employment office, so on a daily basis we have clients of all walks of life coming in to use the computers for job search/resume/etc. Well, some of these clients are either computer illiterate or only versed in the newest version of the iPad their children bought them for Christmas in a thinly baled attempt to get them to stop writing letters.
While instructing a client on how to register I always point to the places on the screen they must click next.
C: "So, what do I do?"
M: "Alright, so we'll need to click here points to screen to proceed to the registration."
C: "pushes finger to the screen"
M: "........."
norajames ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This woman!
I die laughing every time. 'But that's just a box!!'
(It's a woman completely incapable of understanding the monitor isn't the actual computer despite people trying to explain it to her).
brownjava ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:02:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Many years ago (early 2000s) I was a TA for an "intro to computers" style class at my university. One of the topics we covered was how to use Microsoft Word. We gave the students an assignment that involved creating a word document, something along the lines of "type a few paragraphs about yourself."
An older gentleman raised his hand asking for help, so I went over to him to help out. Turns out he had typed his first paragraph but had no idea how to move the cursor to the next line to start his second paragraph. I had to explain how the Enter key worked.
In his defense, if you've never used a computer (or typewriter) it's fairly cryptic that the "Enter" key would be the thing that moves your cursor to the next paragraph.
1980sumthing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:04:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Im a computer engineer and programmer, I went to a theory exam for a drivers license
They had computers and the room was top notch high tech so I sat down and figured they would have touch screens on the computers so I started pressing the answer boxes on display, nothing happened
after a few seconds I realized there was a computer mouse next to the computer.. Looked around hoping no one saw me :)
rep_movsd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:11:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Go to any cyber-cafe/Photocopy place in India, usually you have to tell them if you need stuff printed stuff, give them the pen drive, they print it for you.
The guys generally have Windows XP or 7. Every 3 seconds they right-click the desktop and click "Refresh".
For some reason everyone believes it speeds up things.
YouWillRememberMe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:14:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"My CD is stuck in the floppy drive" yes this happened. Can you figure out how?
BoomKidneyShot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:29:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I almost got kicked out of a Starbucks for typing up a report in LaTex.
11equals7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How?
BoomKidneyShot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was typing away in TexMaker while sitting down. I also had command prompt open due to running a bit of code. Someone in the queue saw this and thought I was making a program to hack the wifi or something . Luckily I managed to convince the staff that I wasn't.
TripleBs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:57:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was behind a middle aged woman at Best Buy who was paying with her credit card. She had to press a 'no' button so it would process as credit, not debit. The cashier said, regarding the card swipe terminal, "you have to say no", meaning to press the no button. The woman leaned over the card swipe thing and said "No!". I scowled hard at that one.
dfs_zzz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:02:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A customer was once asked to restart the computer. After about 10 seconds she claimed it was up and running again. For the colleague at the phone that sounded suspicious but nevermind.
The problem was a typical and well known issue which just needed a reboot to be fixed (software distribution would kick in and fix it). However, as you can guess it was not fixed and could not be fixed the same day - multiple restarts did not help even though we changed settings for the software distribution alot.
Two weeks later the colleague is on site for a different reason and remembers this problem, so he goes on and reboots the computer having the issue; problem is gone...
So long story short, he asks the customer how she rebooted the workstation and if she can show him, only to find out her definition of restart contains only switching the monitor off and on.
My heart still bleeds thinking she was the customers system administrator at this site.
Veloreyn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:02:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be a field tech for a major ISP. A variation of this type of call happened a few times while I was there, but this one stands out as the worst instance of it... I had a work order for a customer saying their internet wasn't working. Checked the modem remotely before I left the office and it was online with decent levels. I show up, and had a normal script I ran through so I wouldn't forget anything. Greet the customer. Ask customer to show me the computer. Ask customer to turn computer on. You ask them to turn it on because if it doesn't work they can't claim you broke it. I see the POST, then the Windows 98 splash screen... then reboot. POST, Splash, reboot. POST, Splash, reboot. "See! Your internet is crap, I can't get online!"
Far too many people equate their computer with the internet itself. These same people assume if they can't get their TV to turn on, then their cable service must be out.
schlonz67 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:03:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you see the cursor?"
"No, I'm alone in here."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:14:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My aunt asked me where the arrow keys were on her keyboard.
I told they're right by the space bar.
She goes "What's a space-bar?"
MartiniPlusOlive ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Years ago, I was an IT manager. On my first day at a new job, I discovered that the operator in charge of backups was allowing all the users, about 30 of them, to carry on with their normal computer tasks while she backed up the system. She thought she was being kind.
NotObsoleteIfIUseIt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Friend did IT. Lots of users use ink prints at home and don't understand the difference of laser printers and toner as evidenced by their name for it: ink. Because of this, printers have been fucked up by users running ink printer paper, tshirt transfers, and sticker paper through them. However nothing beats the one time when a year old, 4-figure priced Xerox printer ran out of toner and a user went to Staples to buy ink cartridges, proceeding to tear apart the printer and damage it in order to find the non existent ink.
Wrathoflight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work IT in my college currently and one of my major advisers (she's very elderly) always keeps 2 copies of emails she receives or sends in case "she loses one of them."
Bless her heart.
sevaerg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:17:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my professors did a Google search to go to yahoo, to do a search
thequesadillaqueen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:18:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boss was on the phone with Apple yesterday for three hours because she could not figure out how to transfer a song from her Mac to her iPhone and wouldn't let me show her. Three hours. Those poor, poor Apple employees.
VerbableNouns ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:22:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't have Windows 9 yet because you aren't supposed to download things off the internet."
JDpoZ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Before my mom retired a few years ago in the mid-2000s, she was the district school technology coordinator.
She was in charge of instructing other teachers how to integrate certain software into their classroom and for doing things like handling attendance and grade records.
At one point early on in the position, during the very end of the 90s, she was also responsible for explaining to some of the teachers how to actually use computers in a lab full of now-ancient Dell computers - complete with Windows 98 displayed in 800x600 on 17" CRT monitors.
She had several stories about the frustrations and sometimes entertaining moments teaching tech-illiterate educators, but my favorite story was this one:
Mom: "okay class, so I want you to click on this icon on your screen two times in quick succession. That should make it open this progr..."
Student (an older woman teacher for middle school students) raises hand nervously while looking worried.
Mom: "Yes?"
Student : "Umm can you come help me?"
Mom walks over to her desk and looks at the screen. Nothing appears to be wrong. "What is the problem?"
Student: "I've tried clicking it over and over like you said and nothing happens."
Mom: "Okay, can you show me?"
Instead of reaching for the old ball-tracked 2-button mouse just to the right of the keyboard or even the keyboard itself, the older woman responsible for educating young adults raised her hand to the CRT monitor, and began repeatedly and frantically tapping the tip of her index finger's painted acrylic nail on the desktop icon of the application which she was trying to open.
Student fearfully looks upset and says : "See?! Mine isn't working!"
HotCappuccino ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My sorority sisters and I wanted to watched a movie one night, and we normally watched from one of their laptops (I didn't have speakers at the time), so I suggested that I torrent it from my computer. Then one of them asks me, "But how are you going to get the movie from your computer to my laptop?" It took everything I had to not laugh and to calmly explain the concept of hard drives and USBs.
Edit: SP
asylum32 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:32:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid I did computer repair. A lady called for service and told me she couldn't get her computer to"turn on". I drove 30 minutes to tell her the monitor wasn't plugged in to the wall...
crazybanditt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A guy 3 months ago was telling me about an "amazing thing" on the internet that can find absolutely anything, you just have to type it & it all comes up. He couldn't remember the name. It took us a while but we figured out it was google. This same man once borrowed a colleagues iPhone to make a quick call. He couldn't figure out how to dial the phone the number until we informed him he was typing it into the calculator. He was stuck on the second digit because of course a calculator won't let you type beyond 0 without a decimal.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in high school (mid 90s), we were in the library printing stuff out. It was a dot matrix printer with a ribbon. Someone, while telling someone else how computer illiterate they are, grabs the paper and starts pulling it to make it finish printing faster...
I_AM_LESION ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A guy I work with believes Amazon put a virus on his computer because 1) he is always signed into his account and 2) his workplace PC contracted a virus after signing in to Amazon, according to him.
Guy knows nothing about cookies - except for the ones he brings to work for snack. And, maybe you infected your terminal because of all the stupid shit you download? Maybe...?
Bricka_Bracka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:44:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Owner of our company. Works in the office across the parking lot. Called me up 10 minutes prior to my go-home time...so I get to dig up a screwdriver and trudge over there to help him...
"You're handy, can you grab a philips screwdriver and come help me with a problem with my printer?"
Me: oh boy... "OK, like to take it apart? What's wrong?"
Him: "I'll show you when you get here"
So I go over and he's got the printer taken apart as far as you can without tools, meaning he removed the paper tray and the toner cartridge. The cords are disconnected and it's sitting on the table across his office from the computer. Great place to start.
He proceeds to tell me that one time, a couple months ago, or maybe years ago, there was a piece of cardboard stuck in his printer and he was able to get it out but then his tech support guy came and removed the rear panel and got out some more cardboard and then it started to work again.
That's what I walked into. That's what I had to go on. A half-remembered story about a jammed piece of paper. It's a tiny desktop sized laser printer.
"Oh. So, why is it apart? Did you get the jammed paper, or cardboard, out already?"
Him: "Yeah, I got a small piece from the front. But I didn't have a screwdriver to take off the rear panel. Can you just pop that off and get out the jammed paper that is preventing it from working?"
Me: "Sure...but there's clearly no paper here..." So I get out the appropriately sized screwdriver and start looking for the correct screws to remove the rear panel. There is no rear panel. You would have to completely disassemble the entire printer to get any further into it. I tell him I can't. So he calls his tech support guy to ask him...
Him: (dials phone) "Gregg, do you remember that time, a while ago, you took apart my printer and I don't know, removed a panel, and there was some stuff stuck in there? And then it worked again? Oh, oh you got it out of the front? Ok. So there's no rear panel? Ok. Alright thanks!" and then he hangs up...I'm imagining this "tech support guy" screaming internally as he awaits the inevitable phone call when this diptard breaks it real good.
So I ask him to tell me what the printer did or did not do, what error messages he received that leads him to believe it was jammed. He tells me none...that it simply wouldn't print.
Me: "So, did it turn on, and try to print, but got jammed?"
Him: "No. Nothing. No response. The lights on! So I know it's on. But it won't print! There's gotta be something in there."
Me: "Show me."
So he hooks it back up and starts fucking around in the device manager settings, assigning this printer as the default, because he knows the word default and it must mean something? Right? Well I catch a glance of the window that shows all the printers he could choose...and there's like 14. Several of them are copies of the same printer. He is however extremely confident that he's selected the right one and proceeds to brag to me about how he does work everywhere and has a lot of printers because he's so busy and wink wink nudge nudge he's rich.
I told him to try printing a document. No response from the printer. A bunch of documents sit in the pending queue but nothing ever prints. He then proceeds to cancel all documents and attempt to reprint like 5 times in a row...I tell him his spooler needs reset and the extraneous printers need to be purged from his list but I don't have the time or knowledge to do it. Him: "Oh, you mean like inside the printer? Like wind it back up?" I tell him to call his tech support guy to come in and do it.
That poor bastard.
I then got out as fast as I could with my sanity intact...
TroySC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:45:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I saw the "any key" joke go down in real life, minus it being a joke.
Oh Dad...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:49:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I put this on r/talesfromtechsupport once, but we had a giant cart full of Chromebooks back in my middle school and some idiot managed to plug the charger into the headphone jack.
jdrama418 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:49:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I emailed my mom some vacation photos and was walking her through it over the phone. While asking what she was seeing on the screen to see if she was following along, she explained she was still waiting for the mouse to "warm up" before she could use it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:49:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom once called me and asked me if I could please "check with the internet" about "what's up with Mary's phone" because she was trying get a hold of her friend and kept getting "some weird message". I tried to explain to her that if I Googled "what's up with Mary XXxX's phone?" I wasn't going to get an actual answer, but she insisted that I try.
Jezelda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad once tried to print a YouTube video. When I asked him about it he said he was trying to take it to work to show to someone. I didn't even try to explain that one.
sherlockhomeboy88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When my wife used a mouse for the first time, she held it improperly (sideways, using her thumb to press the buttons). When she couldn't get the cursor to move to the right location on the screen, she burst into tears, believing that she had an undiagnosed learning disability.
r-abbit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:09:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was first getting started on computers I wanted to personalize my Neopets profile so I used Google to search for ones I liked.
Then I would WRITE DOWN the entire HTML code and retype it up on Neopets.
Buzzardry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:12:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work for a former congressman who was still employed in an appointed position at our local statehouse. I served as his paralegal for his law office. After he would finish work at the State House, he would come into the office, read his e-mails on the shared office computer (Yes, we shared a computer. Kill me.), and begin formulating his responses.
He didn't just reply to the e-mails though. Oh no. That would be too easy.
He would use a dictation machine and would dictate his response e-mails for me to type the next day. Every morning I would come in and there would be tiny tapes, one e-mail per, with post it notes on them telling me which e-mail I needed to reply to. I would have to put the tapes into a little recorder and transcribe them into his e-mail and send his responses. This was my life for a year and a half before I went to law school.
xormx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:27:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in high school, a girl behind me was watching me download an image from the internet with a terrified expression. She told me that we weren't supposed to download things, and that the computer was going to explode if I did that.
androgynous_potato ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A co-worker e-mailed me asking me to show him how to take text from an e-mail and add it to a word document. I e-mailed back telling him he can just highlight the text and copy & paste it into the document. He e-mailed back with "?????".
I learned that the man in charge of writing up and formatting contracts did not understand how to use the copy/cut & paste feature. I tactfully as possible went to our boss and offered to do final formatting on contracts, since I already do so with reports. Any contracts sent out before 2014 I am genuinely concerned about, the formatting I had to do to the templates alone was enormous.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:44:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Top of the thread -Funny
Bottom of the thread -Seriously considering campaigning for euthanising human beings.
dashbopanchor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:50:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work with many old men. One time a guy got yelled at for using to much data on the company phone. He did not realize that porn was so much data. Also he was not good about closing the website. I wish this was an isolated event .
forgot_pswd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:53:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happened in about 2007-2008, so I think we were using Windows Vista. A new hire just out of college was sitting at her computer and looked frustrated. The trainer came by and asked what was wrong. She said she didn't know where the Start button was. It took her a few more minutes to realize where it was even after the trainer pointed it out to her. This was one of the cases where she was book smart but had no common sense.
tetsuko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
circa 1999
Taking an A+ class on my way to get my MCSE. Teacher is going over basic stuff, and asks us to click on something on our classroom computers. Student raises hand and asks how to use the mouse, doesn't know how to click on things, etc.
scarthearmada ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure if that's so bad. Only about 50% of US households owned a computer in 1999, with less than 50% of US households having an Internet subscription. Both percentages only exceeded 50% in the early 2000s (2000-2002). (Source)
tetsuko ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:32:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, but this was a technical school for folks getting into the it field. Probably shouldn't have been there if you didn't know how to use a mouse. It was kind of frustrating for everyone else because the teacher had to not only teach this person how computers worked, but really what they were.
RadioactivePandaBear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
About 10 years ago I sold a gaming computer on ebay and shipped it out to Catalina Island. I got a very nasty email from the buyer stating that he was unable to turn on the computer and even had a friend look at it and they were adamant I had sold them junk and were threatening to take it up with paypal.
I sent them a picture of the location of the power button on the case and didn't hear anything back until a few days later I got the positive seller rating from them.
dbp003 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still partially work on our company service desk. Yesterday we had a ticket for an error prompt that a user had received with an attachment of the error and we were asked to investigate the error. Opened the attachment to find a hand written copy of the error on a post it note, scanned into a pdf and attached to the email. SMH.
Scrivener83 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of our senior bureaucrats insists on the following procedure with her email/correspondence:
All (and I do mean ALL) email/correspondence is to be printed, and accompanied by a title page, synopsis, and recommendations (if required).
She will provide handwritten comments on any material, which then needs to be typed up by an analyst.
The typed responses are then printed out so she can re-read them (often the instructions will be vague/unclear/contradictory), and make changes.
Repeat Steps 2 and 3, like, six times.
Receive final copy to be typed up and sent out from her email account.
Power_Drain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:21:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
User stopped over one morning saying her computer would not turn on and she would like us to take a look at it. We followed her to her desk where she showed us that the computer would not turn on. She pushed the power button on the monitor off and on a few times and then ask us what we thought.
We looked under the monitor at her empty docking station, then asked her where her laptop was. She said she left it at home by mistake, but didn't understand why that would have any effect on why things were not working at her desk.
nuclearbastard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grandma can't handle on-screen programming guides on her cable box, so I tried to make it as easy for her as possible to use. I told her "If you ever see anything on the screen that you don't understand, just push the Exit button to get back to your show."
She tried pushing Exit on a Rachael Ray cooking show.
punkinholler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:30:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was working as a teaching assistant while in grad school about 10 years ago. During the second week of class the Prof I was working for hands me a DVD and says
"I need you to take this home, put it in your DVD player, and fast forward to the part where they are talking about jellyfish and then bring it in with you for class on Monday".
"Why?" I said.
She looked at me like I was the dumbest most useless person who ever lived and said, in complete exasperation, "So that it will be queued up to the right place when I play it in class!"
While desperately trying to keep a straight face, I did my best to explain that DVD's are optical devices and can't be queued up like a VHS tape. She didn't understand what I was saying until I described it as "a really fancy record player".
Fanta206 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:30:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
While teaching older generation simple tasks...
"OK Now that I've covered the start menu, move the mouse to start and click" 20 people physically point the mouse at the screen and click
candyman337 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:34:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My coworker was trying to help someone find the power button on her computer over the phone, she's older, probably late 60's, she couldn't find it so he went to her location and walked in on her and another woman in her 30's turning the monitor on and off over and over again
BTEGirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:49:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I asked a lady who worked in our call center to sign a document and return it to me. I had sent the document to her via email, expecting her to print and sign, or electronically sign. She called me down to her desk, saying that she signed it, but when she printed it, the signature wasn't there. She had signed her monitor with a marker, then tried to print it out. :/
Ovreel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Currently dealing with someone who thinks that there is a person on their machine, reading their email and changing their reading pane settings. This is up there
TheSwissCheeser ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:03:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This sheer act of stupids is on me. I was building a computer with a friend. Once it was finished, I plugged it in and turned the powersupply on. Computer wouldn't boot, no power. Thought the 16pin for the motherboard was inproperly connected, Almost broke The motherboard by trying to frantically rip it out. My friend then asks, "...Did You press the power button on The case?" No, I did not...
Joon-s ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:08:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"My computer's running slowly, how do I download more RAM onto my computer?"
Amanoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even thinking that more RAM magically solves your problems with computer speed seems illiterate to me. Maybe it was a good rule of thumb 15 or 20 years ago, but nowadays everyone and their grandma has more RAM than they need. Thinking that you can just download it only makes you even more illiterate.
X_ology ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:11:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I teach a summer class and got a TA this summer. I was excited to be able to disperse some work elsewhere. My TAs first task was to make me an excel sheet for student information. After about 20 minutes I go to check on her but she only has 2 row categories completed. She has only written two words... I ask her what is taking her so long and she tells me...
"I don't know how to backspace on excel"
I knew at that moment that this class was going to be a rough ride.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:12:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmother put her iphone outside, so it wouldn't wake her up. It's a piece of technology, not a cat.
chweetpotatoes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:17:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was researching on the Internet the company I had interned at when I was 20. 1998 was the year and I had no idea how the Internet worked. I was on their website and was making note of the pages that interested me so I wrote the url as in www.russberry.com/catalogue/2279&5&&bbtnko//2859583638blahblahblah or whatever with endless characters and symbols. Took me forever and I don't recall actually ever using those links. To this day I never told this story. That was one of my awkward moment.
Also a client was visiting my office once and couldn't connect with our secure log in system. He gives his iPad to my colleague, who types www... And all kind of porn sites appear. If you're gonna ask for help, clear your browser history.
dominickles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:21:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 16 I worked at a Shoppers Drug Mart, we got new computers which meant new passwords and usernames. Well my supervisor, who wasn't the brightest tool in the shed, kept trying to capitalize the number "0" because it "looks bigger on the paper".....
CommieKyle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to make a joke about how when you hold down shift and press 0 it only gives you half of the number, but I'm to believe he doesn't know what a shift key is.
Sumbog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:24:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Overheard this at my school bookstore.
Women at the bookstore desk was on a call with someone trying to find a certain text book. The bookstore clerk told her they had the book, and that it was 150$. The person on the other end was outraged by the price and tried to bargain it down. After repeatedly telling the customer that 150$ is the only price they sell the book at, the clerk suggested that she try a second hand bookstore. When asked how to find such a bookstore, the clerk gave a few suggestions, and said google them for directions.
The customer then asked "What is google?"
I_WASTE_MY_TIME ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:41:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She printed an online news article, scanned said news article and then emailed it to the staff. Why?
CommieKyle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma believes that if there is anything slightly wrong with the computer, it's being hacked. She once tried to angrily lecture me about hackers. Meanwhile, she doesn't even know how to turn off the computer. Every time I go back there the computer is on and I have to turn it off for her.
Also my mom didn't know what a scroll wheel did or was.
_Phreedom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
don't know if this qualifies as illiterate but I read some time ago another Redditor posted that his boss wanted his workstation to have the internal IP of 192.168.1.1....since he was the boss, he should have the .1 ......ffs
11097 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always used the first host ip on a subnet for the gateway.
_Phreedom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:55:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Not the most illiterate but worth mentioning:
User: I'll email you a screen shot
email attachment comes as a word doc with the screen shot image embedded in it
Another time, walked into the dev room and a new hire was holding her mouse up speaking to the bottom of it (like it was a microphone) saying "Cancel print...CANCEL PRINT!!"
With sheer confusion on my face I'm sure, I looked over at the other developers who were turning varying shades of red trying not to laugh. I knew exactly what happened, didn't say a word and left ;)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:23:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is going to get buried, but here goes.
I work ATC, we have a LOT of publications and annual publication exams so that we know which publication to open for whatever issue we need to resolve...anyway, we have a lot of paper copies of these publications, as well as access to digital copies which make the exam much easier with ctrl+f rather than using the publication's index and contents summary pages.
A lot of older guys actually like to use the paper copies because that's how they grew up doing it and they're really good at it (I like using the paper copies also, it's just a bit slower, but not that bad)...but some of them like the convenience of not having to go through 6 different bibles to find the answers to they use the digital copies...but don't use ctrl+f... they use the digital index and content summary to find the articles. We've tried to tell them and they call it "cheating".
Little bit more here, feels mean, but it's necessary, if they ask me for help (often the article is very hard to find) they'll sit behind me as I look for the article and they'll say "go down", so I scroll down and they say "No, go down!". "I did...." "No, you're going up." This is because when you scroll down the page...everything on the screen moves up. facepalm
crankery ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:24:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was a developer at a small software company in the mid 90s. The sales guy complains loudly every morning that his email takes FOREVER to open. The email client in question was a Windows app that opened emails as a document in an MDI container. When you ran the app, it restored all the open documents so you could continue where you left off. Anyway, every day he opened emails but never closed a single one. He had approximately 10000 documents open in an app in 16 bit Windows.
I selected Windows | Close all open documents or something and it sat there for a few minutes making closing sounds. He bought be lunch for being so amazing.
Akronis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:33:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Set an older woman up with a mouse to use with her laptop instead of her trackpad.
She proceeds to place the mouse on the trackpad and move it around experimentally.
I thought I was having a stroke.
WubbaLubbaDubDub92 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:53:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A bit late, but I was at university studying computer science. One of the guys on my course had a Macbook, and needed Windows on it to install some development environment. After he's installed Windows 8, he's going through the setup process and I see him swiping his hands over the screen. I asked him what he was doing and he said there was a message telling him to swipe his hand on the screen to test out the touchscreen. I distinctly remember asking him, "Matt, is your Macbook touchscreen?", to which he replied "No, why you ask?". For someone studying a degree in Computer Science, I found that incredible!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:08:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone plugging their USB into a Wall outlet and saying it needs to charge first before using it
Deletable_Man ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:51:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We have some iMacs at work, ones with the keyboards that have USB plugs on the side. Well, one of my coworkers told me (after moving her desk) that her keyboard wasn't working now. She had run the keyboard plug around the back of the monitor... and back into the keyboard itself. The keyboard was plugged into itself. I will never let her forget this.
ravenbot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:57:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother-in law printed a amazon webpage and then wrote down the entire web address of the page. Then sent it to my wife via USPS with a note to please buy the item for her ..... she knows how email works...i have spam she has forwarded to me.....
iamabigblackman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:17:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When my coworker is going on pinterest or something non work related she opens IE, types Google into the bing search bar, does not click the Google link, and then continues to search for whatever she's looking for with the bing search bar because "they can't track what I'm doing on the Internet now"
I tried explaining it to her and she just told me that I don't understand how it works.
Lost cause
vhite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:12:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom questioning my computer literacy when I couldn't find some music on the internet from a small local band.
I work as a programmer.
jprogan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:19:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad. His name is Martin and he's sitting right beside me.
whatizzit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:16:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
we have newish, digital security cameras on our rural road (mostly to watch for people rerouting the water lines) and i asked my dad, "who watches the camera content?" "oh, nobody. i think the film canisters ran out". what. talked to the road manager.. "oh those aren't on, we don't know how to put the movies on my computer and also the guy with the password moved away." ooookkkaaayyy lol
drs43821 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:23:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was from the internet a while ago:
Dad: I don't like the look of the new Google front page. Bring me back the old one
Me: Dad, Google changed it, I can't control the page
Dad: You mean you don't run Google?
MobileRedditor4Lyfe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:26:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was decades ago but I never forgot. It was early in my Help Desk career so I didn't really know what to expect. I just assumed everyone knew a bit about computers like me.
I had an end user call me saying they couldn't save to the A:. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what was wrong so I ended up walking to their desk.
I asked to user to show me what they were trying to do. The problem? They didn't put a floppy disk into the A:.
So don't get offended when someone asks you to check if you have the power plugged in. There's a reason why!
rocklikeastone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:19:16 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: go to google
Her: (opens browser. Goes to yahoo. Types in Google in the search bar. Clicks top result for Google.)
Me:....
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:43:28 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Console gamers
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:17:30 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So at my last job a lady ordered a mouse. She put in a ticket asking why it wasn't working.
She had thought it was wireless and severed the cord, thinking the remaining part was some sort of antennae?
When asked why she would do this, she said the image on the internet order showed just a small piece of cord. She didn't seem to understand image cropping.
So that was the worst by far.
rmandraque ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:17:28 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So whats the password for google?
ummm what? What do you mean, what are you looking at?
Well this is the first time I have a smart phone and evertime I open this google thing there is just a box in there for me to put a password? What do I put so I can search what I want?
Stealthwind ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:04:39 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a guy come in multiple times because he fell for the same Microsoft scam multiple times. Despite us telling him every time that it was a scam.
Last time he came in, I carefully explained to him that no one will never call you about a virus on your computer. Went as far as having him repeat it to make sure he understood.
Poor guy has been scammed out of probably over a thousand dollars.
Esunaproxy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:44:40 on August 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I can't find the internet."
"What do you mean you can't find the internet?"
"Look!" - points at computer monitor
Realizes she meant the shortcut
"It's right here."
"That's not where it used to be, how can it go back?"
Drags shortcut over
She touches monitor
"Put it here"
moves it to where she points
"Thanks!
GryffinPhoenix3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:56 on August 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to explain to someone how to "find the google"
lykwydchykyn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:07:39 on September 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
About 12 years ago, when I'd just started out as a support tech, we had a file server go down and it needed to be rebuilt. We were carting the server back to where it lived to hook it back up when a woman came out of her office and stopped us:
woman: "Can you come look at my computer real quick? I can't get to my files on <server>."
Sysadmin: "Yeah, we know, the <server> is right here on the cart, we're going to hook it up."
Woman: "Uh, ok. Can you come look at my computer first, though? I really need to get to my files on <server>." (followed by a 5 minute spiel about how important it is that she get her files as soon as humanly possible).
Sysadmin: "It won't do any good to look at your computer, the server is right here on the cart, we're on our way to hook it up."
Woman (irritated): "Well, fine, maybe if you get time afterwards you can look at my computer before you leave."
She just didn't get it.
ChristieRodriguez37 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:49:22 on October 14, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guy spilt a glass of water on his laptop and complained very loudly that it wasn't working. When I picked it up and the water ran out I said that's why.
His response was priceless "What kind of an idiot do you think I am, all laptops are waterproof".
Michaelthebe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:14:16 on October 31, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Suupeer late to the party but, me and my mom were going on a trip and I was grabbing a power strip and she said I could use hers so I ask her if it has a USB port. She asks "whats a usb port?" I then explain to her what a usb port is.
BooPiBooPi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:30 on November 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When the Norwegian government thought they could stop it's citizens from accessing torrent sites such as piratebay....
They stopped nothing because our politicians are computer illiterate and good ol' fashioned dumb
destoyan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:00:33 on January 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually I have a theory. All terrorists, gunners and serial killers were at one point Tech Support. They just couldn't handle it anymore... and went Jihad on their customers.
korny12345 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:34:01 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lady at work didn't know how to save a Word doc
B0NDYRS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:14:14 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Nana (Grandma) had been begging my to teach her how to use a computer as it was an easier way for her to play solitaire so after much nagging from her I finally cave in and let her have a go on my laptop. First thing I tell her is to move the mouse from point A to point B, to which she physically picks up the mouse and places it, and I tell her I will no longer teach her lmao.
skrilly01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:38 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/talesfromtechsupport
JPAchilles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:09:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/talesfromtechsupport would like to have a word with you
evil_arch ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:40:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother moved and said I'll need to set up a new email for her because she had different ISP.
mathandcookies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:50:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man. I was sitting through a training session for a job as a math tutor at my college. This older woman was fumbling her way through a PowerPoint and we were bored out of our minds. On the last slide she has a URL for a YouTube video she wants to show us. So what does she do?
Opens Internet Explorer (red flag 1)
Goes to the address bar and types "www.yahoo.com" (red flag 2)
Goes to the Yahoo search bar and types "www.YouTube.com" (the hell??)
Opens YouTube from the search results
Goes back to the PowerPoint, copies the URL (props for pulling off this step flawlessly)
Goes to the YouTube search bar and pastes the exact URL there
I was both horrified and impressed.
robusto240 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:50:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma has gone through 3 iPads due to water damage because she licks her fingers before turning the page while reading books
Thejagwtf ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:54:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This will never see the light of day.
Worked as a PC tech, got a call from an old lady her exact words were:
Good day, I just had a PC tech over, he charged me 400$, and left, my oc does not work, he said i need a specialist to install the Excel board, because mine is broken. I really need it, i work as an accountant, and im cripple. All i have left is 5$ please come help.
( Russia, crisis, 2004, she sounded like 70, desparate, and half crying, the area she was in was 60km from our office, i had a friend bring her an old laptop to work (he lived in that rural area).
Basically the guy who came over fucked up the pc, and took money "for parts" and ditched her.
slowsuby ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:58:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not tech support but worked customer service for a while.
Them: "I can't access my workstation"
Me: "Ok what internet browser are you using?"
Them: "Me and my husband share an email account".
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:23:52 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
jmon3 ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 22:08:51 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
What kind of asshole goes to a similar post from 4 years ago, and pastes the top answer from it word for word.
Edit: We did it Reddit!
Emerno ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:41:39 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How do you guys even find this shit? Is there like a Chrome plug-in or something that pops off?
jmon3 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:55:19 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I enjoyed reading the responses to this post so I searched for a similar post to read similar stories. The wording of the top comment seemed much to familiar so I went back to this post to confirm and voila!
itz4mna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:58 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's like rule 24 or something, every repost is always a repost of a repost.
ThatMeanyMasterMissy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:08 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/quityourbullshit
๐๏ธ MrJoeSchmo ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:32:35 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. You'd figure I guy hired for software testing would know at least how to open some software.
Blicero1 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:51:59 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a very similar thing happen to me doing support for a proprietary application. I has giving the guy instructions on what to click on etc and he kept describing an "error" that had a color pallet etc and wasn't like any error message teh application should throw. I finally remoted in (he was in latin america so the connection was very slow, circa 2002) and he was clicking on the icons in the MANUAL and not in the application itself.
Titus_Favonius ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:51:33 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is actually the funniest one I've ever seen, and I've been working in IT for a number of years
tubewatch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:46:24 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TV news. The grammar is atrocious.
cl4ire_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:20:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Many years ago, my mother-in-law got a laptop and asked me to set it up with an AOL (yeah, many years ago) account. This was before broadband was widespread, so I set it up so AOL would dial up to a local access number. ID set up, dial-up tested, wrote out a few instructions, all good, off you go.
A couple of days later, she calls me up and says "I want to go to the QVC website, but QVC is based in North Carolina. Will I get billed for a long-distance call to NC every time I go to their site?"
*headdesk*
runofthemill1982 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:38:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had an assistant once that I told needed to take a package to the FedEx store. She asked for directions. I told her to Google it. Before my eyes, she opened bing to search for Google. Fired.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if this kid was retarded or something, but there was definitely something different about him, and not in the good way. Anyways we're using laptops in 7th grade this one day, they come with mouses. The kid put the computer mouse up to the laptop screen and moves it around, as if it were the table it was on. A little on later he figures out he can either use the track pad or use the table. Just an example of while ill typically look down on disabled people.
Come_along_quietly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:58:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Many moons ago. Talked to my mom while at a school studying CS. Told her my course schedule: included Computer Architecture. She paused. And then said "but you don't know anything about Architecture". In all fairness, it's fairly understandable. But still makes me chuckle.
RickyT3rd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:30 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/talesfromtechsupport
IzSynergy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:00:13 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This one person in my class last year used Internet Explorer instead of Google Chrome.
Xomnik ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:03:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think we were talking about horror stories. Take it down a notch
Canadian_bacon1172 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:06:12 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's terrible
jasonzx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:17 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least once a week I receive an email with a PDF attachment that was originally a Word document that had been printed and then scanned as a PDF(this is the only way they know how to convert a document to PDF).
Orphan-Launcher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:44 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Printing a PDF then scanning it to attach to an email before sending it.
jmon3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:46 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The best is when people hand write very lengthy URLs to share them with someone.
luckilybuckily ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:35 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My inability to set my flair. It just keeps going to a screen that says "sorry, that's not ready"
fapward ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:55 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my teachers tried moving the mouse up and down, like literally lifting it from the table and back down, trying to get the cursor to move up and down.
Simusid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:08 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
1) printed a document to print server in remote office and fedexed output to main office, instead of printing to queue at main office (this was many years ago so no email)
2) Recently watched a guy cut and paste a url out of an email, open MS Word, paste it into word so that he could ctrl-click to open it.
ThePyrofox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:27 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a teacher a few years ago who would always type "you tube videos" into the youtube search bar and "google" into the google searchbar.
Not the most illiterate thing I've seen, but memorable as she did it on a daily basis.
3svh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:08 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother has called me from her work to ask where the "_" key is on the keyboard.
Twice...
labyrinthiner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:52 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom closes and reopens Internet Explorer any time she wants to start a new search, then types "www.google.com" into the search bar. (I've told her about tabs and how the search bar works multiple times)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:56 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my sister would literally smack her computer.
sigh
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:56 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad!
beatpoetdj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:59 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Told a customer to fill in a form directly and send to us, as we don't accept ones that were handwritten and scanned in(Form was a Word document). User said they didn't have a typewriter.
Aardvark_Man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:33 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Earlier this year I'd done a bit of tech support for my uncle, and before I left he started typing something.
I had to tell him that you can get a capital letter by holding shift.
MettayyaDoBuda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:46 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
opens Google chrome
types www.Google.com in url bar
clicks on the Google search of google.com
proceeds to do a Google search.
nitasu987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Calling Youtube U-Tube.
ashleighclair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to once teach a woman how to double click to open a file. She had been using computers for a long time...
someog3o3390rft4094 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was helping a user once setup her email at a field office. I asked her to open Outlook, she asked how. When I told her to double click the icon on the desktop she picked up the mouse and started tapping it on the monitor.
starlaluna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My teaching partner does not understand that the YouTube volume will only go as loud as what your speaker is set to. So in the morning she will turn down the master volume and in the afternoon get super frustrated that none of the YouTube videos she wants to play have sound.
The 5 year olds in our class kindly tell her how to fix the problem but she can't wrap her head around it.
Tupilaqadin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Allowing this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msX4oAXpvUE
fueledbychelsea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Worked in telecom store in Canada. Man comes in and complains his phone won't turn on. I ask basic questions as he's pulling it out of his coat pocket. When he finally hands me his flip phone it's very light. Too light.
He took the battery out and didn't realize it needed to be in there for it to work. So close
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Two idiots one keyboard, of course.
not_a_throwaway24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To make quotation marks around something to go to a client, a coworker used two apostrophes in place of the quotation marks.
BrooklynSunset ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once saw someone put a mouse on the screen to try and move the cursor.
charrcheese ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Professor asking the class how to get to Google ... this was in college only about 4 years ago
NippleSalsa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well I still technically whitnessed this, I just got a used computer for free. Had a bunch of unnecessary files on it so I figured that I would factory reset it. I just wiped the whole computer.. I had it for two hours.
haphazardmalady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This one isn't the worst, since I've been tech support for my family for over a decade, but it is the most recent so it's fresh in my mind.
I work with disability services at the local community college. I am not IT. I have never been IT. We have like 3 people in IT and they are constantly busy, so I understand why the older students (and by that I mean age 45+) always go to the first young person they see for IT help, when their tickets never get responded to. I get it.
But, I'm actually not allowed to help people with their IT problems unless they're one of my students. I do it anyway, because I'm a nice person and I can usually fix the problem and let them go about their day, but I'm really not supposed to.
This old man the other day was having issues ordering himself a ride on the special bus (I don't know what it's called? Like, the disabled bus. idk) because the website, which is run by the state and not by the school, was down. He asked me to "fix it" because "I know your computer has the ability to do it". All I could do was try the website in different browsers on 2 different computers. It was most definitely down. He got kinda mad that I couldn't fix the website I had no control over and stormed up 3 flights of stairs to leave the library.
adisonbesot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had an assistant manager who didn't know how to toggle screens. He was supposed to do a finance report every day and instead of copying the information from our system and pasting it into the email to regional, he would view the information, write everything down on a notepad, close the screen and type it into the email (very slowly.) He was responsible for team trainings and made checklists for everyone, but instead of just making a basic grid on Excel with everyone's names, he would use a ruler and draw one up with everyone's names hand-written. He eventually left to go to a job with no responsibility (thank god) and my manager recently told me that the guy didn't know the difference between "shift" and "control", no matter how many times it was explained to him. He was a nice guy but I think he might have been like, secretly Amish.
PerfectTommy5035 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I need to move the pointer farther to the right, but I am all the way to the right of my mouse pad.
OhCrapImBusted ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is.
No matter how intelligent you are, technology can escape you...
cloudpainter86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Retractable coffee cup holder. No. $hit.
Robinwolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is Word an operating system?
pressing eject button on front of case repeatedly Is this a cupholder?
OrneryPanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never found out what happened to our eighth grade computer teacher, but the middle-aged lady that replaced him was hopeless when it came to computers.
The instance that I'll never forget was when she asked me to help her get off of the internet. She kept hitting one of the flashing ads that would shake and had a little x in the corner so that people would unwittingly try to close it and thereby open a pop-up. She was getting really angry with how they just kept opening. I told her to try a different x.
itsamystery97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum thought 'the cloud' was a giant flying server complex.
HeadlesStBernard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad takes pictures with his phone of photos on his computer that he wants to send or show people. I tried to explain about the quality and how easy it would be to just send them from the computer. He didn't want to deal with it.
COMMODOREXXX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Area manager for multinational IT services Corp complaining that she would have to scroll through a huge spreadsheet to find some info. Me: can you use ctrl-f to search? Huh. Let me try. Wow! When did they add that?
lynnrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Trying to teach my grandmother how to use a computer. Told her to take the mouse and click on something. She picks up the mouse and moves it through the air a la Jedi mind trick. Clearly not destined to be a super user.
inside-us-only-stars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dad was upset that his sailing website "only showed a little piece of the page". Turns out he had brushed his keypad and accidentally zoomed in on it a few weeks ago, and didn't know how to zoom back out. I swear, I'm like a wizard to my parents.
djskino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Norwegian teacher allways presses the wrong keys...
If she has to put up a youtube video the adressbar will be like this
uryrivr.vin
Seriously
Kamiyaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friends used to believe that hotmails can only send to other hotmails.. until I told them.
MarcusRex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I was a one of the contracted techs upgrading all the PCs in a hospital in PUEBLO CO. The system they were using utilized a light pen and the systems we brought in were all mouse driven. That being said I've seen mice put on the floor like a foot pedal, mice being used on the screen like the old light pens (I can kind of understand that given the context), upside down pushing the ball (yup woo 90s) with a thumb. All kinds of stuff.
mooloor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
English teacher last year
Teach: mooloor the projector isn't working, figure it out.
I wander over, check to make sure it's actually on (it is), make sure it's plugged in (it isn't).
Teach: mooloor you're a genius!
snuglyotter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The US court system for the most part
halroxy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom cannot comprehend how her old phone still gets e-mail notifications when she is at home, when it doesn't have service anymore. I have tried explaining that it just connects to her wifi at home but any combination of words I use to get this across to her does not work.
Anchorali15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Dad would have someone print out funny emails and then make copies of them to hand out. He also referred to my iPhone as my "magic computer phone"
BurritoInABowl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Calling r/talesfromtechsupport
Dammit.
Mike_hunt_hurtz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
when people type urls into the search bar..
nanaclifford ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This might not be the most computer illiterate thing I have ever seen, but it is the example the stands out in my mind. A former co-worker of mine claimed to be proficient in Linux. My boss wanted me to use him to help me out with a few things. I wanted him to test out a simple script and here was the process.
tmpdirectory.cd slash tmpcdtmp.I wouldn't consider this computer illiterate if it was my mom or something, but this person had a degree in computer engineering!
1BoiledCabbage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't know the purpose of the mouse. Literally, "What do I do with it?"
KevinsMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad has had computers since the early 90's and when I showed him how to copy and paste a couple years ago, it blew his god damn mind.
georgiaLights ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"They're inside the computer?!"
Polymarchos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's so hard to choose, and I haven't even been in IT for very long. I'll go with the Dock I was called to fix. The problem was a cord under the laptop so it wouldn't sit properly.
Gambitzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I turn on my screen but nothing is coming up. Yea, nothing is docked because I left my laptop at home today.
SouthernGirl2016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had to show my boss (a VP) how to print in lanscape.
stealth316 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was in college in a computer lab. This cute girl comes to me, panicking, says she spent 2 hours typing an essay and she only seems to have the end of her document. This is 1991, 1992, Word Perfect, in DOS. So I go to her computer and hit the page up key.... Ta daaa... Her eyes light up and she says to me "Thank you very much! You just saved me 2 hours of retyping my essay!
cainoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
iPad users buying stuff on ebay
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand this one- can you explain?
CarbyCarl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
User had a problem with java in Firefox. Printscreened, pasted in paint, printed, scanned, then emailed. See attached pdf for proof.
https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B-i8cqpe9mjCN3pPYXh2QVNPU2M
evergleam498 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My coworker had a picture on a digital camera that someone in the corporate office needed to see. He opened the picture with his computer, printed it out, and then faxed it to the office.
sutherbb36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh my god, Jerry, when you check your email you go to Altavista and type 'please go to Yahoo.com'?"
Fly_Caster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom does my shop's payroll with a spreadsheet. She called me up saying she thought she got a virus because every time she would enter data, the cursor would jump around to various boxes.
At some point she hit the numbers lock :/
Emerson604 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A client of mine emailed me the following message "Can you send me your email address?"
Saved that one in a special folder for posterity.
Shycollegeslut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad wanted us to call the movie theater hot line to check times for Bad Mom. I told him I'd google it and he asked if it would show the times and if it only worked for our local theater.
Sparchs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Woman asks "How do I access all of the information in this spreadsheet." Guy helping her says, "You need to use the tabs." "Where are the tabs?" "On the bottom of the screen" runs fingers along the bottom edge of the monitor feeling for taps
username_16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember a while after we got our first computer (which was in 2001), our Dad decided he wanted to have a go. He tried using the mouse sideways. It was very puzzling, surely he'd seen someone before use one?
ThatGuyWhoEngineers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
College concrete professor wanted to show us a video of a reinforced beam failing. He took these steps:
Opened IE. Homepage was Bing. "Aww, I dont like Bing, Google is better"
Typed into the Bing search bar, "www.Google.com"
Selected the Google result from the list.
Typed into the Google search bar, "www.YouTube.com".
Selected the YouTube result from the list.
Typed in some keywords related to the video.
Scrolled through about four pages to find his video.
Play the video.
He plays this video for every section, every year, and won't bookmark the damn thing.
StayTheHand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
User folded a 5.25" disk to make it fit in a 3.5" drive.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother typing "google.com" in the Google search bar. Wasn't even on chrome either.
Avatar_ZW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A Youtuber wanted to show his viewers something he found on the internet, so he videotaped his monitor and uploaded the video to his Youtube channel.
Screenshot? Or just link it? No?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shameless r/forwardsfromgrandma plug?
daenarys_t_1993 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching my moms ex boyfriend how to access him email. I showed him step by step, and after wards asked him if he got it. He just kinda looked at me and pointed to the arrow on the screen "but how do you move this?"
He didn't know what a mouse was.
GoldenWizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well just today my boss couldn't email a large pdf so he asked for my help. I said he could split it into two and email them separately or zip it to compress it (simplest things I could think to teach him to do) and instead he ended up deleting half the file and sending it like that. Then in the email he apologized for half being missing.
Lobanium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude sent a confidential attachment via email to me. I wasn't supposed to see it. He realized his mistake and asked me to send it back.
Another dude wanted to extrapolate data from a chart in excel. So he printed it off on large paper and used a pencil and ruler to extrapolate not realizing the actual values were on a seperate excel sheet. Even if he knew the values were there I'm quite sure he had no clue how to use excel, so he probably still would have used his paper and ruler method.
barabusblack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for a large computer company. I saw one of my female coworkers take a computer mouse and move it through the air in circle to try to get the cursor to move. She got frustrated when a crowd started to form.
Necrophobias ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmother trying to save a photo from Facebook by taking a picture of it with her camera.
TheEmeraldArcher455 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was our highschool computer teacher. She was trying to insert the a flash drive and complaining it wouldn't work. Guy next to me looks and says "that's the headphone slot"
kuraim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to connect a dsl cable to the tower so they could use the internet and then they kept refreshing a page they were on cuz the video wouldn't load fast enough.
Sigh
MangMangKaboom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People holding down the home button on an iPhone and saying "Siri, ..." then their question. People do not realize that you DON'T have to say "Siri" after the tone plays from holding down the home button. I go outta my way to correct everyone I hear.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People calling my parents restaurant asking for the email address and my 70 year old dad giving them our street address over and over again, getting more annoyed...
janestrummer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A customer buys a new computer from my dad's small computer show. The next day, the customer calls and complains that the CD-ROM won't read any discs. After no luck troubleshooting, the customer ended up bringing the desktop back to the shop just to find out that he or she was inserting the CD's upside down.
locks_are_paranoid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in high school five years ago, I was doing a powerpoint presentation with a few other students. Over the weekend, I called one of the group members and asked if he could email me his part of the presentation. He said he didn't have an email account, so I asked him to create one. He said that he didn't know how to do it. I asked him if he'd ever sent an email before, and he said that he uses his mom's account. I asked him to email me the presentation using his mom's account, but he didn't know how to add an attachment. I told him to put it on a flash drive and give it to me the next day, which he was thankfully able to do.
bluebird-teadrinker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A younger woman trying to explain to an older woman how to get on the Internet. She keeps saying, "Now click on the little orange dog". I look over and my fears are confirmed: it's Firefox.
Parzival528 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Person is going to take there phone to Apple Store.
Has do not disturb on
ThomasSirveaux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad attempting to save photos from Facebook: right-click, "copy," open up Microsoft Word, "paste," save as a .doc.
TheMonthOfMays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In college, I witnessed my roommate spend 30 minutes trying to explain what the cursor was and how to use it to his grandparents over Skype.
Kamaria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At a library print station, one of the patrons attempted to scan her library card WITH THE FUCKING OPTICAL MOUSE and not the obvious scanner nearby.
Some people are just beyond help.
statist_steve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was trying to walk my dad through something on the computer.
Me: "Okay, now point and click that button with your mouse."
He literally picked up the mouse, pointed it at the screen and clicked the button.
possible_epileptic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
built a customer website with a field to store a membership number
Enter your ID: [______________]
Example: ABC-1234
year later there were 1000s of users with the ID "ABC-1234"
fail
mosreb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Professor opened a browser went to yahoo.com and searched for Google.
belle39 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Her page timed out
Me: "Okay, just refresh the page"
Them: "How do you do that?"
Me: "Okay, just press Ctrl F5"
Them: "It just keeps bringing up a little search box"
Janku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An elderly woman using a mouse on the floor because she thought is was like a pedal for a sewing machine.
banedeath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guy brings computer monitor (the old CRT kind), just the monitor. Puts it on the counter.. "My AOL broke."
PenXSword ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was it an iMac, at least?
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/56/Indigo_iMac_G3_slot_loading.jpg
banedeath ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:46:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No lol an HP
estrella172 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was once helping a coworker with something on her computer and asked her to open up this internal website we use in our department. I expected her to click on bookmarks/favorites or a link on the bookmarks bar. Nope. She opened up Outlook, scrolled down to an email she had received 5 years previously with a link to the site, and clicked it. I showed her how to add the link to her favorites and it blew her mind.
Azzizzi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We had this guy who traveled from office to office giving safety classes. Every single time he made it to my office (3-4 times a year), he'd have me help him find his files. Every time it was the same. Instead of having a folder for say "Classroom Examples" or something logical, he'd have a folder named Word, one named Excel, one named PowerPoint, and so on. Then, he'd put the files in the right folder by type, but when he'd start a new file, it would automatically save into the My Documents folder and he'd need help finding it.
73263254 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In grade school I changed a screen saver on a classroom computer to a scrolling text screen saver that read, "school sucks". I also set the screen saver to appear after 5 minutes of inactivity to be as annoying as possible. The teacher was very upset and went on a rant about respectfulness to the whole class. She then had us work an art project or something while she talked to another teacher about this problem. I watched them fool around with the computer for a bit until finally they just turned it off. Those teachers left that computer off for months. Apparently that was their only solution for the "school sucks" problem, because one day it was on again, and a little bit of text was scrolling across the screen read, "school sucks".
Arling07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to train someone to cover me at my shipping clerk job I had while I was on maternity leave. The job revolves completely around computers. I had to tell the guy where the SPACE BAR was. Needless to say, that didn't work out.
Twist161 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Trouble shooting a software something or other-
Tech-okay lets try rebooting the computer, so go ahead and turn it off. Customer-(immediately) k it's off Tech-(thinking maybe he was already ahead of me) cool, let's turn it on. Customer-(immediately) k it's back on. Tech-oh wow that was quick. (Problem wasn't resolved) Umm let's try that again. Repeated that process three times before tech figured out the guy was just pushing the monitors power button on and off.
NotMy_FB_Account ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is true and ongoing somewhere in Washington State, 2016.
Hospital A has a popular brand of Electronic Medical Record (EMR) system. Hospital B has the same multi-million dollar brand of EMR. Both hospitals are founding stakeholders in a Health Information Exchange venture that stores and shares the aggregate electronic patient records of nearly all clinics and hospitals in the area.
The Medical Records Dept. in Hospital A print a patient record from their EMR, walk across the room and place it in a fax machine that auto-dials the Medical Records Department of Hospital B. Thousands of patient records are faxed per month.
The doctors in both hospitals have an incredulous list of rationale to justify this behavior in 2016.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We have a computer where our employees touch a proxy card against a reader, which inputs their details and they move a mouse to click, "sign on". One of the more common problems i see, is the employees touching the screen to get it to log on.
ALL_FRONT_RANDOM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Our office manager (I'm a sysadmin) doesn't know what the file explorer is.
Anytime he has to open any file, he opens Word, then goes to File > Open to bring up the dialog box, navigates to the folder and right-clicks the file to open it from there, then closes out Word.
I've really really tried showing him, but he just doesn't get it. It's pretty comical. He's been doing this for nearly 20 years now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember seeing someone use Word to delete files. He did the same thing basically. I tried to explain, but eventually just gave up. It's odd.
getthenight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is more of a smart phone illiterate thing, but the bakery my little brother works at is a Pokestop and he was telling her about how people kept coming to catch Pokรฉmon and she was seriously concerned about how the Pokemon were getting in and if she needed to call someone to take care of the problem.
GimiZigi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"So what do you do for work?"
"I work for Apple"
"You work at an orchard?"
-facepalm-
NotSoMindless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It would have to be turning on the damn thing.....IT IS THE UNIVERSAL ON BUTTON.....she was phone when the symbol was on everything else until you but a computer invfront of her.......
bebu10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom signs her text messages to me like this -Mom I know who it is! I can see the name before I read the message. Told her this and she still does it
Phillyfan10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As I stood in line at circuit city, some older woman was absolutely berating the tech support people about how they sold her a "faulty machine" and that she just bought it 3 days ago and it is already broken, and the whole nine yards. After a couple minutes of going back in forth with the poor gawky kid, he plugs it in, and sure enough, it boots up no problem. She didn't realize that they die, and you have to plug them in to recharge them. The absolute worst part of it all, is the old bitch didn't even apologize, she just said she didn't know, and went on her merry way.
clynch96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This
LosToast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad likes to tell a story about how he went to a facebook 101 type workshop. At 54, he was the youngest one there. When the instructor began with "start by opening internet explorer," two hands went up.
Cyyriss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work campus IT at the University of Kentucky, and I had a professor put in a ticket stating that they weren't able to play DVDs correctly. So I get over to the classroom they're in, and she has the disk in the computer as she's trying to control it using the remote from the nearby DVD player. After explaining that the remote wouldn't work on the computer, she demanded to know why. She just couldn't grasp that they were two completely different machines.
jaeldi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Helpdesk at a college many many years ago, students would call in, verify identity, then we would read new temporary password to them so they could register.
Me: Ok, here's your temporary password. Capital R as in Roger, lower case t as in tom, Capital H as in Harry, 3, ...
Student: Capital 3?
Me after short pause trying not to bust out laughing: ...no. Regular 3, lower case j as in john, etc.
2nd story: the system had 3 security questions that you could pick questions, like "who is your favorite band?"
Student: I'm having trouble changing my password.
Me: Oh, we can do that over the phone. Let me pull up your info. Who is your favorite band?
Student: But that's the problem. I don't like Coldplay anymore.
me: did you put Coldplay as your answer at registration when you created you password?
Student: yes.
me: then type Coldplay for that answer and answer the other two and it will let you create a new password.
Student: But I don't like Coldplay anymore.
me: That's ok. Just type Coldplay anyway because that's what you created at registration. You could have told the system watermelon and as long as you type watermelon, it would match and allow you to change the password.
Student: But I don't like Coldplay. They aren't my favorite anymore.
me: why don't you just type in coldplay on the screen and see if it lets you change your password anyway?
Student: I can't, that's just not true anymore.
me: once you type in Coldplay, and answer the other two, you'll get a new password, and then you can log in, go to the security set up page, and pick new questions.
Student: But Coldplay isn't my favorite. The answer is wrong.
I finally just wiped all her answers and made her recreate 3 new ones just to escape the circular conversation we were trapped in. I thought it was just a troll, but after the 5th time through the loop, I realized she was just mentally stuck on this minor piece of computer minutia and her personal identity in this reality wouldn't make sense if the university computer system thought she liked Coldplay. I convinced her to choose questions where the answer would not change like "What was the first car I drove." It was so odd to hear the relief in her voice when Coldplay was expunged from any association with her account.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me, when I tried to turn on a Mac in an office and couldn't figure out how. It was the kind that just seemed to be a big LCD monitor with the hardware inside an enlarged back. No power button anywhere on the monitor, and what looked like a power button on the keyboard did nothing. Everything plugged in as it should have been.
I used to own a Macbook Pro and have used Windows machines since the early 90s. Not being able to turn that on made me feel like an idiot.
discodj71 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At my office, I observed one of the clerks on the phone with IT. He was prone to calling for help, so I was standing right behind him, just I case I needed to assist. I heard him say "hold on" , and he took out a little yellow sticky note, and proceeded to write the word " click" on it, then he placed it on the mouse. I asked him what the hell he was doing, and he said " the tech told me to write click on the mouse"
That is a true story.
ArrogantFool1205 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to tell a grown man how to name a new folder...
eclipsesix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This doesn't quite fit the mold but reading some of these other posts reminded me of a funny story.
I grew up with my grandparents and pretty much moved out at 18 to try to adult before I was ready.
Anyways I lived within a 30 minute drive of them when this happened. One night around 7 my grandpa calls me and says " you need to come over right now".
I was a lazy 18 year old so I asked why?
" I messed up the computer, you have to come fix it before grandma gets home" (grandma was a nurse, worked 3-11pm)
I argued saying to just leave it alone and I'll swing by tomorrow to fix it.
"no, you're coming over now. I don't know what I clicked but now there's naked girls all over the desktop"
Turns out grandpa figured out that the Internet had nudie pictures. He then right clicked and set as background.
I miss my Grandpa.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandfather broke his CD tray thinking it was a cupholder...
deannamaybe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is back in the mid-late '90s when I worked in a small repair shop. Saturday mornings, we opened at 10. A few minutes before opening a customer pulls up front, hops out with his tower and starts banging on the door. I let him in, he sets the tower down (wrapped in a blanket, presumably because it's cold out) and runs outside for his keyboard, mouse & monitor.
When he comes back he explains that he had been visiting some less than family appropriate websites, and had downloaded a theme pack and ran/installed it. It had changed the background image, default icons and default sounds to something from a low budget hard core porn. When it happened, he immediately tried to undo his mistake and quickly realised he didn't have the computer starts to do that. In haste, he desperately unplugged everything, wrapped them in blankets and threw them in the car - telling his wife and kids that the computer had a catastrophic failure and would need to be repaired.
Took me less than 5 minutes to fix. He meekly picked it up, paid the hourly rate and took it home. I still laugh when I think about his story when he dropped it off.
sn0wman8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was helping a new person in our office with something that was requiring multiple windows and applications. I asked her to move one of them over to her other monitor. She paused and asked me "How is it going to get from one computer to the other?" We then had to have a lesson on how multiple monitors does not equal multiple computers.
Another person in our office was instructed to "cut and paste." She, no lie, printed out the two documents and cut the portions from the one and taped them to the other.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
School teachers.
Need a search engine? Google isn't good. Use duck duck go.
Now this only works on chrome I don't know why.
No, you need flash. You need to install flash for it to work. Chrome has flash.
Sometimes zip drives don't work on my computer. I'll see if it works, and if it doesn't work you get a 0 on your assignment. plugs in usb, gives a single second while looking at the drives folder, doesn't allow drivers to install Nope. No it doesn't work. student proceeds to walk away facepalmimg, knowing there's nothing they can do to get the teacher to computer
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Said teacher needs to be fired. Keep up with current technology or gtfo. This kind of ignorance is unacceptable, especially when they are"teaching." I have no empathy for someone that is unwilling to conform with the direction that the rest of the world is living in.
signal-distress ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This from a long time ago....
User put in a ticket saying her CD-ROM wasn't working. She kept saying it was "eating" the discs. Looked around a bit on the OS and tested everything but there were no problems. I hit the button to get the test disc out and she told me that's not how it works. She then told me it's like the CD player in her car.
Took the case off and found 7-8 discs inside the case. She'd been showing them in between the top of the drive and the plastic spacer above it.
Lady_Gaza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Employee called IT to claim his mouse wasn't working. Couldn't diagnose over the phone so went to his location (20 minute drive). Turns out his mouse was upside down...
dwooder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad calls the cursor a cruiser....the most annoying the ever.
TheLackadaisical_One ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shamefully, it was me. Well not so much illiterate. Ill admit im so used to using my cellphone and tablet (both touchscreen) at home and for work that up until 2 weeks ago didnt have a cpu or laptop. About a month ago my brother handed me his (basic) laptop to look at something. And i touched the screen to open something. He saw me do it too, to this day it just sucks.
Pardon_my_baconess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My father, mid 70's at the time, asked me to help him with the computer I had given him 5 to 8 years before as it was, "running slow." This man had used a computer for work for at least 10 prior to this. He sat down at his desk, and when I asked him to show me what was happening and causing him concern about his computer's performance, he picked up the mouse and manipulated the tracking ball, FROM UNDERNEATH WITH HIS FINGER. TL,DR: elderly father didn't know how to defrag.
Eel28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I fear this will be me. Lol. I need to call apple support for my iPad (I have to reset it, I can't log in and the store won't do it because I don't have the receipt to show them it's mine and not stolen). I've been avoiding it.
Ferndo401 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My librarian in middle school always made us right click and then hit exit to close a window instead of just hitting the X at the top right
PM_ME_GOTH_GIRLS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Community college, I had a class with this older dude (late 40s) named Leonard. He was a great guy, but very computer illiterate. Mind you, this takes place in 2013.
He comes up to me one day and says, "man, a guy in my computer class gave me this book, and he said i'm gonna be able to learn everything about computers!"
He takes out the book...it's a beat-to-shit manual for using Microsoft Works 2001.
I had to explain to him that someone was fucking with him, and he was pissed.
CognitiveDissident7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Using a magnifying glass to read the text on the screen.
iaro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was a long time ago but I watched my dad place the mouse on the screen to click on what he wanted
linux1970 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A woman who work with my dad :
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I get a support call from another site...
"My mouse is broken"
"Okay, what is it doing or not doing?"
"I don't know it's just broken."
"You don't know?"
"Yeah it's broken"
"As it it doesn't work at all? Is it wireless"
"It has a wire, I can't tell if it works"
"I don't know what you want me to do for you, there are some old ones stored in a plastic tub in room x, use one from there for the time being"
Next time I'm there I check in and I see a mouse that's been smashed to a dozen pieces sitting loose in a plastic lunch box.
"See, it's broken."
JohnDax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
back when mouse had the spinning ball on the bottom, I told a user who had no previous experience, to move the mouse around the screen. She lifted the mouse and with her fingers she started to roll the ball. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom to laugh my ass off
TheManWith4HooveS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Watching a fat bald guy order a tab.
Rahkeeks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a library. To use a computer, a patron would have to type in their library card number (the prompt was just a message asking for the number)
I had a woman come up to me and say the computer wasn't accepting her number so I went over to check it out. I asked for her card so I could try and she said "but I put it in like it asked me to." Which turned out to mean she shoved it in the A drive. Took me about 10 minutes to get it back out.
RobT14120 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had a college professor that wanted to show us a video of some political event or something on YouTube. To get to YouTube, she Binged Google, and then Googled YouTube
certainshadesofgreen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was printing out a recipe from a website for my mom, and after it started printing I opened up another tab. My mom thought that the new tab would print over the recipe and ruin it
FlyBoyG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People are too computer illiterate to rename files.
Quick backstory: I made a Steam guide on how to get an achievement in this one game. To do it you have to make 3 text file, fill them with what I wrote and rename them from .txt to .cfg. This horribly stumped people.
There are basically 2 ways to do it: Select 'save as any file type' and manually write .cfg when you save the file or change the windows settings to show file extensions and then do it.
shacklife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I will admit that this was me who did this, but in my defense, it was way back in the day and I had zero computer knowledge. Right before Windows 95 came out, we went to go buy our first computer. I remember that it was just a plain desktop, but it cost $3000. We took out a loan from our credit union to buy it. Anyway, the salesman said that in about a month, when Windows 95 came out, we would get a free upgrade. I asked what the difference was and he said that there would be a "Start" button and it would be how we would be able to access anything we needed to. I said, "No, we don't want that. I don't want to get this thing home and have it all set up and then have to just bring it back here in a month so you can install some button on it. We'll stick with whatever is on here." I also remember that my husband asked how much storage was on it and the guy proudly said that this particular computer had almost a whole gig and that "nobody would ever need more than that."
urmomzvag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Opened Firefox to their default homepage of google. Searched www.google.com in the top right search bar instead of realizing they are on google. Then clicked the search icon, OPENED THE FIRST LINK TO GOOGLE, and then finally entered their search query. I sat there in shocked silence.
alicethedeadone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even work in tech support and this thread is pissing me off.
sweet_river_baines ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guy using a calculator to add up a bunch of excel fields. The look on his face when I showed him how to do it in Excel.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Worked helpdesk as an intern in college. Got called down to a ladys office because her speakers werent working. She was muted.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My former boss had this problem. I was working in IT.
Catgirllewis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My husbands coworker would only use his laptop because emails sent to him only went to his computer. He would not use any other computer because then he couldn't get his emails.
DankKiller_Pat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Mom called my desktop computer a hard drive... She isn't even that old.
Absolutedisgrace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At uni doing an IT degree. In a tute class working on the stuff they presented. Tutor is working with a clueless student and asks them "now move the mouse up and click on the icon"
User literally picks up the mouse.
Ledpoizn445 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So at my job we have touch-screen registers that also use keyboards because fuck typing on screens. I train most of the cashiers, most of which are 17 - 20. It's amazing that none of them are aware of what the functions on a keyboard do. Like when filling out a member card, they will remove their hand from the keyboard and touch the next entry line. The "tech generation" doesn't know what the tab key does. I even say "fill this out, tab down, ask the next question." They just tap these shitty old screens that are off by almost half an inch until they get the field they want. It's infuriating.
Friendlyvoices ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably this: https://youtu.be/hkDD03yeLnU
sooprvylyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hillary clinton getting the nomination because old people cant internet
anoneuclidean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: Okay, now right-click. Mom: ::moves mouse to the right, then left-clicks::
GeoffPetersonsHand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone using the term computer illiterate.
The11thJoker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A teacher typing in the full address for videos on youtube. I'm talking http://www.youtube.com/whateverthisleadsto
itsbecccaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The other day I was an idiot and couldn't remember that on a desktop if you want to turn the brightness down you need to manually do it on the monitor. I am too used to my laptop where I just can do it from the computer itself, so I started googling the shit out of the monitor brand trying to figure it out and I literally facepalmed when I realized how stupid I was being.
Wishingwurm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Used to work tech support. I swear to you this was an actual call and not a troll. I wouldn't have believed it either unless it had been me on the other end of the phone.
A lady phoned in, stating from the get-go that this was her first home computer. She'd gotten it set up by the store and they'd tested it and left, but she was having trouble with it.
Lady: My computer isn't doing anything.
Me: Okay, so if you press the power button, does anything happen or does it make a noise?
Lady: Oh, it starts up, but it isn't doing anything.
Me: Alright, so if you move the mouse, is the cursor moving on the screen?
Lady: Yes, it's moving, but it isn't doing anything.
Me: Do you see an icon for your hard drive in the upper left corner of the screen? What happens if you double click on it?
Lady: It opens a window. There are a bunch of folders inside. But it isn't doing anything.
This went on for a bit until I'd run out of ideas on what the computer could be failing to do, so finally I asked her, "So far it seems like this system is working. What exactly is your computer failing to do?"
She literally told me that the "man at the store" had said the computer would "do her taxes for her, and get on the internet for her", and do any number of things for her, but it was just sitting there and wasn't doing anything.
I had to explain to her, gently, that a computer was a tool like a phone or a tv, and you had to tell it what you wanted it to do by opening programs and typing things in.
There was a long pause, followed by, "So... what should I do with it?"
I resisted the urge and suggested she contact the store and seek out some classes.
SquashMarks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in Tech, so this is especially hard to believe.
A client once asked me to email over our Non-Disclosure Agreement so he could sign it. The line that was supposed to be filled in read like this: "Name of company, a Name of State corporation... " The client filled out the company name, and instead of the name of the state, filled in "An Awesome Company".
When I told him that we could not accept an NDA without a state of incorporation (Which was a nice way of me to put it) the client asked me to email it over to him again, because his only printed copy was already filled out...
I did it, because it was a client and I didn't have the heart to tell him he was an idiot.
rayrayheyhey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked with a woman in her 30s who wanted to show me something on Facebook. She proceeds to open up IE, goes to bing.com, types Facebook into the search field, and then clicks on the Facebook ad at the top of the search results.
And she claimed to be a media expert.
brownvigilante ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Y'all got nothing on this
nikkybcuddles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in IT for a major company putting laptops and desktops together for new employees. The absolute worst is when people call and say the dont have such & such program on their system and this happens often. I ask have you checked start programs? Its always no. If its not infront of their face they dont think about where it could be. And it has only happend twice but when i asked if they had checked they asked where strart was. I almost hung up on them
Sorasyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I live a couple hours away, and my parents called me up, wanting some help with the computer. As we've done many times before, my mom opens Teamviewer, and gives me the code to connect.
I get connected, and she puts my dad on the phone who's needing some files pulled up. He starts talking, explaining what he needs, and in the background I hear "Honey, he can't see what you're pointing at."
He was pointing at the folders on the screen as if I was standing right next to him.
For the record, he's fairly capable on a computer, with respect to his work. However, he's not very familiar with file explorer. :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I briefly did some work helping people use computers in a job centre. Some of these people had no idea what they were doing.
The real crowner, though, is "what's a mouse?" guy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OH MY GOD okay, so I am 20 years old, and when I was in 6th grade (2007/8?) I had been taking typing classes for years (though I didn't do much on the internet at the time), and I'm sitting next to this dude like the first or second week of class and we were in the library using these big dinosaur computers that we'd always used and as we start researching and typing our papers I notice he's just kind of staring at the keyboard with only his name "Greg" typed.
Being the friendly little 6th grader I was, I offer "Hey, do you need any help?".
He looks flustered and says "How do I make the thing go over?"
"The thing go over?"
"Yeah, like, your line is further over than mine is." He's pointing at my screen.
I was super confused for a minute, and then I realized "Oh, you mean a space? You press the space bar!"
"Oh, okay, thanks."
I was trying to be nice, but in my head, I was like wtf this dude doesn't know how to use a fuckin' space bar lol. We became good friends all through middle and high school, and I made fun of him for it for years haha.
furry_trash_lucario ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ever since 4th grade, I've been doing this
"My computer won't turn on! Do something!"
I reach over and turn the monitor on
JediM42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had a professor of a college computing course go on a thirty minute rant about the great strides made in memory storage capabilities and how he couldn't believe computers can now hold gigabytes of information.
Didn't have the heart to tell him my Xbox had a terabyte of storage or that the external hard drive i saved all my work for his class on had 2tbs, i think he would of died from sheer amazement.
Needless to say this class was easy AF
mahiruhanayo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom had to ask me how to copy and paste
63770A52669 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A gym sub was trying to play a youtube video, and she accidentally went to the desktop, when you hover over the windows button it says start, so she hit the windows button, and accidentally logged out of the computer. she could not log back in all class because she forgot the password
grushenka_smerdiakov ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Temp agency sent us someone who was supposed to be a web developer. After he made a change to a web page that was about 3-4 links deep in the site, instead of refreshing it to see the change, he would return to the home page and click on link to link to link to get back to that page.
AWaveInTheOcean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work for a software company that has stuck around since the late 80's. This company has managed to stay in business partly because of the quality of the software that was perfect for its particular place in time. It was all based on a command line interface, but worked well. We then came out with a Java based gui system. There were certainly many hurdles, but the most stunning question I ever heard was "why do we have to use a mouse now?"
immuniscor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Witnessed my uncle using a CD-ROM drive as a cup/can holder. He legitimately thought that it's whole purpose was to hold his beverage. I didn't correct him.
butterfly105 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ooo! This is so relevant and it brings back good memories :) I bought my grandmom and pop-pop a laptop, the FIRST ever computer they owned about 7 years ago. I introduced my Grandmom to email and she was thrilled. Then - oh man - on to google. I made the mistake of asking one thing for me to google. She said "prescription pills" and I did it. Suddenly, her world transpired. Links left and right from Canada and online pharmacies and SUCH LOW PRICES and OH MY GOD she was in heaven. She raced to my pop-pop and squealed in delight at the deals that Google ads showed. Literally a FRACTION of the cost for some of their pills. I kinda tried to explain how federal trafficking laws and Google click bait worked but she didn't care, so happy. My pop-pop was also happy as prescription pills for both of them were hundreds of dollars a month. The lawyer in me eventually thought fuck it, they're 90, let them buy whatever they want online. Sadly he passed away before I could really explain how Google ads worked. Rip pop-pop.
5firtrees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend is significantly older than me, and while I love him very much, sometimes it's just too ridiculous how computer illiterate he is.
First of all, he still uses a data card on his PC to access the internet. When I suggested to him that now that we lived together he could connect to my internet, he was baffled and said, "Mine doesn't do that." It's a Dell from like 2006 or something -- we can totally get him on the internet. He still is using the data card because "That's too complicated."
He also owns one of those tablets that is basically just a big smartphone. I came home and found him checking his tablet against my Surface, staring at my desktop totally confused. I asked what was up and he was like, "yours is totally different than mine!? how do I get mine to have the stuff yours has?" I ask what he would like to be the same. He points to the icon for a city-building game that I've been playing since the 90's. When I explain it's not going to work out for several reasons, he literally pouted for like an hour because he'd been "lied to" about the capabilities of his computer.
His cell phone is a mess. I used it when mine was out of service the other day, and the only numbers he has saved are his boss, me and his dad, so his text convos all seem to start with "Hey! Here's a thing" and then my boyfriend saying "Who is this?" He also literally never clears his notifications. When I used it the other day I cleared them, thinking I was doing him a favor -- nope, he got really upset. Why? I'm not totally sure.
He insists we turn off the wifi at night, because he swears it'll cook his brain. I have explained multiple times why this is not the case, but it's pointless as he doesn't remotely understand what wifi is or how it works. I used to have a router that made kind of screechy noise, so I would turn it off at night, but when I got a new one I stopped. He said I must be "addicted to the waves"?????
There's so much more.
rhymes_with_chicken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
thought the right mouse button was for left handed people. she worked there for 5+ years before she said this out loud to me. I don't even know how she did her job.
MrsDwightShrute ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother in law works on a computer every day of her life as an insurance agent. Yet somehow when we all have her a brand new laptop as a Christmas present couldn't figure out what it was. Oh and she just learned how to use GPS like 3 days ago. I don't get it.
seelingkat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a group chat for a fan forum i used to help run 10 or so years ago and watched in amusement as two tech-illiterate 'friends' trying to work out how to do some simple things and neither understanding each others directions or solutions. I'm pretty sure I saved it somewhere...
MagicalCMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL that I'm a computer genius.
ChargerMatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Okay now hit F5"
waceyhawpuh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boss doesn't know how to edit his cell phone contacts so whenever someone's number changes or he saves one incorrectly he just adds a new contact.
But he's an asshole so I'm sure as shit not gonna point anything out.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Plugging (cramming) a usb mouse (male type a) into a serial port (db9).
Yep.
And she didn't know why it wouldn't work. In her defense, it did stay "plugged in".
TerraPlays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:43 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How the hell would that stay? Did she poke holes in the plastic bit?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:41:09 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. By shoving it in there, some of the DB9 pins got wedged in the USB connector, hence it stayed. I was honestly a little impressed.
This woman was a teacher, but wound up putting the square peg in a round hole.
DividendDay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at the business school when I was in college, and I was in the accounting/marketing office. And the job was to help out around in the office and especially the marketing chair: Dr. L. Now, I give Dr. L a break because he was born in 1937 but my God, I honestly feel like I was teaching him the basics. I once had him call me in to his office and ask where the emails were, and I glanced down and saw that the page in the middle instead of the top so I scroll up and sure enough, they are all there. He thanks me like I just showed him advanced coding methods. Nicest guy you'll ever meet, but definitely not the IT guy.
phroek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was building a computer for a client. She asked me to put the latest version of the internet on a floppy for her when the computer was delivered.
allothernamestaken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXRf2eZQ41o
Nerd514 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
While trying to fix my grandfathers internet, he asked if I have checked the fuse box yet. I said no and a few minutes later, he asked again. It ended after the 4th time he asked with me going down to the basement, then looking really intense at a box I have no clue how to work, then saying something like "nope. it all looks ok down here"
epicgrowl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who thinks typing "Java" or "ipconfig" into CMD is hacking.
cepet1484 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Watched my boss trying to Xerox the screen on his iPhone.
basenjibites ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:27:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just watched someone try that this weekend!
Purrbox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad's head whirls around when I scroll too fast through eBay. Kind of like this.
He's absolutely astounded by USB sticks, and watching things transfer to and from them. If a CD transfers in a few minutes, he's floored and every time he says, "That fast?"
He can't figure out how to add giftcards to Amazon and follow through by purchasing something. I do all of his online shopping for him. (This one is more like he doesn't want to bother with doing it himself.)
Bvred ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once had a woman ask me, which version of Windows does this have?" She was shopping for an iPad
Killa-Byte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Type this into google, OK: H-T-T-P-COLON-BACKSLASH-BACKSLASH-W-W-W-DOT-<site>/DFLVNDFSIUVBEIFVSEKRJVERSIUVBERSIUFVERKUFHERKJFHUIERNFKUWRAFBURWAFBWEAGYFGWEKAFUGSEBFYGUEGFEYGFEBZFUWEBFJGEWAUFKUBEGAYFKJEFGWAKEUGFWAUGFUKGKFAUGKWFUGUKAWFBCHDSABFWEAGWEYAFVBJEBDAFCJWAFBJWABFAWE/?T=DSFKJVBSUKVBVBDSKJVBFADJGVBFASFVAJSVFS
Telogor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a slash. Backslash is the one that goes the other way.
Killa-Byte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know. I tried to tell the teacher that, but he was like "no no your wrong, the forward slash is a \. the one in websites is a backslash /.
Telogor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, that's what you mean. Try adding a > or some quotation marks.
TheUpperHand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I'm showing someone at work how to do something on their computer and instead of taking in what I'm doing, they follow the mouse cursor around like a cat watching a laser pointer, I know I'm going to have a bad time.
georgefrosted ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't turn off the pc or the clock is gonna reset"
MissJill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was a serious issue with early 90's computers.
sscheiby95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Happened today at work. I work in a certain copy shop that got bought out by a shipping company. Anyways, this college age guy(I'm guessing I'm about two years younger than him) comes in and goes directly to our self service printers. There's a small monitor/unit combo beside the printer for you to select the service you need such as printing from USB, making hard copies, or printing from a Dropbox of some sort. (Mind you this thing is literally RIGHT NEXT TO THE PRINTER.) The printer itself has a screen that displays "please insert card" before you insert your card into the separate unit. That display goes away once you put in your payment. This kid stands there looking at the printer, bending and crouching and touching all the seams of the printer, looking for where to put his card in, not even glancing at the instructions posted on the printer itself, literally two feet in front of his face. After observing this go on for a few minutes, I calmly walk up to the separate unit, clear my throat, and tap the unit's screen and select what he needs, which then prompts a screen to come use asking him to insert the card into the unit, with a diagram and everything. "Ohhhhh haha, that's where the card goes." Absolutely unbelievable.
Neafie2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Please come dust off my laptop.
Said by an elementary (year 1-5) teacher with a masters in education. The laptop was also only a 1 month old.
murpes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A customer asking me for "anti-bacterial diskette cases."
233C ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"The mouse? what is this?" - 1996, then French president Jacques Chirac.
echoviolet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
This guy used to come into the library where I worked, and always needed help on the most simple internet tasks. He would walk all the way up to the desk to ask things like:
"Yeah, how do I get back to what I was looking at?" Usually that one was how to use the back button in the browser or on any webpage.
"How do I pause my video?"
"How do I play my video?"
"How do I copy and paste this text?"
etc. I have the patience of a saint, though. Every single time he asked, he always needed me to show him how to do it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All the dumb end-users who still - since 1995, have not learned the universal sign for power on, and power off - and these are developers and programmers too - not some 99 year old nana.
MissJill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Universal might be an overstatement.
Most towers still don't have it.
RobotJoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at Kinko's in the self service computer department. I've seen a few things.
There was the customer who wrote her resume in Excel.
Then there was the customer who, instead of putting the floppy disk into the drive slot, managed to jam it into a seam in the computer's case.
But my favorite was when I was talking the customer through opening a document, and I told her to "click the mouse". She picked it up and pointed it at the screen like a TV remote while clicking the button with her thumb.
_axeman_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This.
phforNZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Our high school implemented some software to restrict students' access to websites (in particular, Neopets and Stickdeath/Xiaoxiao).
So the IT "department" (guy looked like the South Park WoW player) got it all set up. It worked, until I noticed that he hadn't blocked access to the program itself... One simply closes the program, and has access to all the glories of the internet (shareware Doom install!).
I got in trouble for "hacking" the computers.
HaloGeekster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
First day working as a repair technician. Someone brought in a desktop saying it wont turn on.
They didn't flip on the power switch in the back.
bubblegumpinkpop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum tried to check her emails by typing in her email address in the search bar lol
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Last year a family member got their first laptop, ever. Called me really confused how to login, they typed their username and pointed at the button. Turns out they had never, in their life, used a trackpad. Didn't know to tap it to click.
El-HaaK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Coworker of mine did not know that you could create folders within folders. His entire desktop was a mass of folders.
arfool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
when I was 16 my dad knocked on my door at midnight. I woke up and worried something had happened.
"arfool, which one's the shift key? "
"God damn it dad"
aduck8myshoes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone trying to type a number in with the function keys and then complaining that it didn't work. To this day I can't figure out if they didn't see the regular number keys right below, or assumed they both did the same thing and found nothing weird about there being a 12 key.
FissureKing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Insert disk 1. Insert disk 2. Nothing happens. Tries to Insert disk 3.
Calls tech support.
Or. "My modem got wet so I died it in the microwave"
Edit: I'm leaving it.
Telogor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:39:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I see what you did there.
sheesha6186 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tech support guy that helped me a few weeks ago would probably consider ME the most illiterate thing.
Seriously though, I just couldnt understand his accent. I had no idea what he was wanting me to check or the steps he was wanting me to follow. It sounded like he was pinching his nose and talking with a lisp.
maybe it was a speech impediment, I dont know, I know hire the handicap is huge. We were patient with each other and the issue finally got resolved.
egdip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at an Apple Store. Customer came in complaining that her iPod Nano (6th generation) screen wasn't working but she could sync songs to it and play them, just that the screen was frozen.
I peeled off the fake icon sticker on the front of the screen that is used for presentation in the packaging.
Zye2011 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I volunteered at a retirement home a long while ago. I was tasked with helping a few of the elderly figure out how to make and check emails to talk with family. I told one guy he needed to take the mouse and double click on the little e to open the Internet first. I lost it when he picked it up and hit the screen twice with the mouse.
natedoggfdfl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Way late but I'll give it a shot.
New job at AT&T about 8 years ago. Sell an iPhone, make lots of money. Lady looking at iPhone. Lady: How much does the iPhone weigh? Me: Let me check! (run to google) Me: It weighs (old iPhone weight) grams! Lady: Hmmm, now how much will it weigh once I fill it with music? Me: .......................... Did not make sale.
hildebrand22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a dyslexic long term sub for a high school English class and she literally tried, and failed, to write the word "illiterate" on the board for about 5 minutes.
wordsdear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not really computer illiterate but in college I made the mistake of printing a project right before the class it was due. And got stuck behind someone printing off 50 pages of blank paper. They weren't trying to print a whole powerpoint, just blank paper. They needed blank paper and to them that seemed the easiest way to get it. So I hit cancel opened the tray and gave them their paper.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tutor was trying to show us a video and the sound wasn't working. We kept telling her to check if it was muted but it took someone getting out of their seat and helping her to find that the computer was in fact muted.
Zavy13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is very smart, but not with technology. If we are talking on the phone and say our goodbyes, i have to hang up because she refuses to learn how to press the button.
eetbeaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The HR manager of a private health care company I had worked for a few years ago sent an email to our help desk complaining of a returned message. Since we received her request via email, I asked her to forward me the bounce back or rejection message. She, not knowing what I was talking about was unable to provide it. I asked her how she knew it wasn't delivered to which she informed me that she found the envelope on her desk, returned by Canada Post. That's right, she contacted IT thinking since we are responsible for email, we are responsible for paper mail too.
freakycheeseball ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in tech repair, so I've seen advanced stupid. My favorite was a teenager came in crying and in a very guilty manner set this burnt up laptop on the table. I'm not talking slightly burned, I'm talking straight up singed, top completely curled, everything melted. She had spilt water on it and her dad had told her she should put it in the oven to dry it off.
asgharm1999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not as bad as what I've read here but I have a friend who can't double space an essay, she literally writes a line, presses enter twice and writes her next line, she does not know how to change the spacing and it bothers me so much because she doesn't let me help her. Ugh.
MissJill ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:31:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's how we were taught to do it. - Class of '03
noodlesdefyyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ive had 3 off the top of my head that i can partially divulge.
1) customer couldnt get internet to work. i dont see their modem as online in our system. i ask if its plugged in, and i get the stereotypical 'its wireless, why do i need to plug it in' response.
2) another customer, no internet situation. this time i see their modem is online. i ask if they have any wavy bars or bars that look like steps in the bottom right corner of their screen where the clock is. i manage to convince them we have this secret software that doesnt require internet by typing a run command that will auto-direct them to our support site for a remote connection. turns out they were connected the entire time, and trying to log in with AOL. i tried not to audibly lol.
3) another customer, berated me for a good 20-30 minutes that our hardware was junk, pieces of shit, etc. no internet. long story short, he had plugged in his surge protector in to itself.
bonus 4) not really customer illiteracy, but field tech incompetence. elderly couple w/ 2 story home, cant make it up/down stairs, they live on the first floor basically. tech installed modem in the upper closet on the 2nd floor. like what the fuck.
lancekuan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
First ever group assignment in uni, my group mate used lines to draw tables in MS Word.
Had to redo her part.
Tixylix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Never mind computers my technophobic mum is having problems with the toaster now, of all things!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmother thought I was building internet when I was making my computer.
allahu_snackb4r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in school to whom I instructed to now press F5. She then proceeded to tap first F and then from numpad, 5.
pjonline ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just read an ad today that said brang instead of brought. I was, like, really?!
middleagenotdead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in high school, I went to my mom's work one day and notice that a co-worker of hers thought that the cd disk drive was a cup holder. She had a can sitting on Pepsi sitting on the open disk drive.
mavric91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In high school everyone had their own log in and password for the computers. We had at least 4 computer labs and a bunch in the library. Well, I guess the geniuses in charge of all these computers didn't know that screen savers have that name for a reason. When the computers weren't being used they just sat there with the grey log in box up against the standard Windows XP background. Sure enough, just about every computer in the building had that log in box's ghostly image permanently burnt into the screen.
Saltillokid11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Years ago when I put in my 2 weeks notice, the company hired a graphics designer to replace me and I was to help get him up to speed with the photoshop process. During a 1-on-1 showing him the ropes, I minimized photoshop for a second. We switched seats, he had no idea how to maximize photoshop, he just clicked around the desktop.
appleadat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was showing my grandma how to do things on the computer. Then i realized she was looking at my mouse the whole time.
MattD420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hShY6xZWVGE
sarahsaturn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my co-workers had a magnet on their computer. I took it off and they apparently didn't notice.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my marketing class said "Sorry, but I don't know how windows works since I've only ever owned a Mac."
MissJill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly...if it was anything after 7 she has a valid point.
attn-span-of-a-gnat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When my mom's iMac arrived, she called Apple to say the tower was missing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
NickTDesigns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I see people MY AGE (16) do this and I yell at them every time.
AgentKnitter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mum signed up for Facebook with the email address assigned to her by her ISP.
She got upgraded to a new plan and given a new email address by her ISP.
Complained she couldn't log into Facebook any more. Absolutely refused to understand when I explained that just because her email address had changed, that didn't mean her Facebook log in had changed.
๐ซ
guy272 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A classmate in my Graphic Design class was having trouble turning on her computer, I watched as she mashed the monitor button on and off for about 2-3 minutes before she asked me for help.
I looked down, found the computer's "on" button, and pressed it...
sigh
ChadTooBad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I oversee one of the team's designing apps and sites for one of the major Wall St banks. Despite a plethora of persuasive studies and statistics to the contrary, our main client contact, a woman in her 60s in charge of digital, is absolutely convinced no one scrolls on the Internet. Her reasoning? Because she doesn't.
Everything has to be above the "fold."
theminecraftdude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My family has Cox as their internet provider. When you have Cox as your provider you can download and install McAfee for free, which the men in my family have done. They complain about their computers running slow and being stupid etc and I tell them to get rid of McAfee. "But I've had it for x years!" "What about viruses?" Just because you have had it for 10 years doesn't mean it's good.. I try to get them on better Antivirus softwares like Windows Defender, but they insist that because it's a paid for software that is given to them for free, it's good. They are stubborn and think that they are experts on technology, which makes convincing them even more difficult.
hubife13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was a student at a hospital working with intelligent healthcare professionals. One of the elderly employees asked me to show her how I was taking notes. I didn't understand. She asked how I was typing in the box in the corner of my screen.
I showed her how to open Microsoft Word.
vitamincisgood4u ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A woman clicking on the home button on a screenshot and telling the professor her home button wasn't working.
Sneekysauce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone thought they could fax money... It took 4 of us to convince her it wouldnt work.
TheTurtleyTurtle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was on my grandpa's computer, and came up and wanted to check his email. So I open a New Tab and open his email. He proceeds to close out the whole window and open the gmail shortcut on his desktop. Which sent us back to gmail.
whenthelightstops ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wifes co-worker was trying to move the USB cable for an external hard drive backup from one computer to another. I happened to be stopping by and she mention it feels like it's connected but asked why it seems loose. Because she had connected it to the serial port.
aprilRludgate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am probably a little late to this party, but: good friend's boyfriend could not understand how email attachments worked. Friend: okay Joseph, I'm going to email your paper to AprilRLudgate and you can go over to her place and work on your paper while I take my computer to class. Joseph: but how is my paper going to get on to AprilRLudgate's computer, I wrote it on yours???!
Arianfelou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not quite a computer, but I once captioned a call during which tech support was trying to get my client's TV connection problems sorted out.
The first 30 minutes was a back and forth of "try doing x and then see if anything comes up on the screen" "no nothing happened" until that poor tech support guy realized that the failure point in their communication was that the client was staring at their remote waiting for it to do something, not the TV.
iirc the problem with their TV not working turned out to be that the outlet they'd plugged it into wasn't powered
modestdoorsareborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yesterday my grandma asked me how I can hear my friends texting me since my phone clearly isn't making any noise.
ch1cgeek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my mom googling someone's email address to figure out what their email address so that she could send them an email.
Matt_thePolarbear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had an woman come in and hang her mouse off the table and ask me -
"Do you have a longer cord?"
"What do you need a longer cable for."
"The pedal needs to be on the ground."
"The pedal, what is that?"
Just after I asked I realized she thought it was a pedal to make the computer run...like an old sewing machine.
MissJill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean...computer pedals are a thing...
gibblings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Coworker asked how to make his browser window bigger (full screen). I said hit F11, so he presses the f key then the 1 key two times. He has other tech blunders but that one got the most laughs.
klinothedino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yesterday I had to explain to my grandmother how to attach a file to her emails. Lets just say it was a gam changer for her.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad's girlfriend was trying to explain that she saw a website on an ad on television about Masterchef. Her words:
"Saw the website on the telly. Don't know the actual address but it was something like 'dot com dot com slash slash dot com slash dot com'. Something like that."
Never face palmed so hard in my life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It did not happen with me but I read it from some other place. So this guy went to show his professor some assignment he was working on,after he finished while discussing he left his pendrive on the table but did not put the cover back on it, so the old professor ( don't know if it was sarcastically ) says ,don't leave open like this ,viruses will enter the pd.
dezent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My first job as a it consultant in 2001 was to visit the home of a lawyer that was a good client to us. He had bought a scanner for his home office and could not make it work even if he was the "computer guy" at the office... when i got there i notice that only the power cord is connected.
Me: Seems like the cable disconnected. Client: There is no cable, this is a wireless scanner!. Me: ... Client: There are no more cables in the box!. Me: I found the cable in the box would you like me to connect it? Client: Wait a minute, I am thinking about returning the scanner i liked it better when it was wireless. Me: ...
Racing2733 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: The birth of a meme.
O___- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A couple months ago, I was at Starbucks just doing some work on my computer, and these two really old ladies (like mid-late 80s) sat down at the table next to me. They seemed really sweet, and just sat there chatting and laughing and drinking their coffee.
After a few minutes, one of the old ladies says to the other, "Ok, ready to get this done?" and pulls out her iPhone and a stack of papers from her purse. Her friend nods yes.
The old lady with the iPhone opens up a new email and looks at her stack of papers. Its a printed out list of email contacts. She starts (PAINFULLY SLOWLY) reading the first email address and typing it into the "To" section of the email on her iPhone. Literally one letter at a time, and reading aloud - and teaching her friend what she is doing.
Next - she gets to the subject line and explains to her friend it should say "Restaurant Party" and types that in - again, painfully slowly.
Finally, she makes her way to the body of the email. She pulls a business card for a restaurant out of her bag. In the body of the email she just writes the whole street address of the restaurant, and that's it. The whole ordeal has taken about 15 minutes - and she finally says "Ok, now I press this button up here to send it."
After that - she gives the phone and the stack of papers to her friend and says "Ok your turn." The friend proceeds to send the exact same email to the second email address on the paper, but was even slower at it and was extremely confused the entire time.
It's at this point I realize that they were planning on spending all afternoon in this Starbucks - to take turns manually typing each email individually. I was trying so hard not to laugh - but it was pretty adorable. After a few minutes, I just leaned over and asked if they wanted help.
The old lady who owned the phone said, "Yeah, uhh I'm not good with computers."
They gave me the list and I wrote one email to the rest of the 35ish contacts on their list in about 5 minutes. They seriously thought I was a magician and bought my second coffee. It was really cute.
ArizonaCharlie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My coworker (29):
Me: ok you're gonna select the "Material Number" column on the excel sheet
Him: yep
mouse moves around searching
Me: it's the one in colum D
Him: oh, yep. Ok
more mouse
Me: ok you're going to need to go right here (point) and click on cell D1
Him: oh ok, yeah sorry. Here we go!
more mouse..... Clicks B2
Batwyane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the store I work at has a membership program, If you don't have the little card we give you then you can type your phone number in using the credit card machine. At least once a week I have some old person try and write their phone number in the box.
Im not even sure how they think that would work...
Mercurse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in IT support some years ago. Human resources lady calls me and says her computer is broken, the screen is black. I ask her if the computer is on. Just push the button on the big box under your desk. "The modem ?", "You don't have a modem, never mind I'm coming to your office." Turns out her monitor is off. What the hell lady, I get that you don't know shit about computers, that's fine but we are talking about the fundamentals of all electronic equipment, how can you not operate a fucking power switch ? (I didn't actually say that last bit but I thought it very loudly)
TheGoldBowl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh boy. In the neighborhood I live in, everyone knows pretty much everyone else. Somehow, I've become the neighborhood "tech expert," so I get asked for help with all sorts of things. One of the worst I've ever witnessed was when a neighbor of mine asked for help organizing her files. OK, I'm young and poor and she pays well. She didn't even understand the difference between files and folders. She honestly had no clue what the difference between a folder and a Word document was. She also thought that when you downloaded something in Firefox, it "Went up to the little blue arrow." Understandable, but she thought it was only on those pixels or something. Sweet lady, but one of the least tech savvy people I know.
Phalanx_1482 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I aid the librarians in my free time at school. One was trying to take an image of words and make it into a pdf. I tried explaining that the file types are different, but I'm pretty sure it all went over her head.
MissJill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can you be more specific? Most things can be turned into a pdf.
Phalanx_1482 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[Here's] an example I just quickly found. It's an image of words. I'm sure there are word detection readers, but I doubted she would even be able to use one, considering she needed to come to me in the first place. In addition, there was a border and symbols not found in a standard language pack. Stuff like that.
MissJill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You messed up making the link.
Phalanx_1482 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...Dammit.
MissJill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ignoring the messed up link, PDFs work well for images. It may not be ideal but it's not like it's an obscure format that will cause issues for the next recipient.
hlpmebldapc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I have two, both took place at the last office I worked in.
The first was a late 40s woman who NEVER held her mouse correctly. She held it sideways in her hand and constantly struggled to click things on the first try.
The other was while being trained for a new position, on my first day. We did a lot of 1 on 1 training so I was sitting at her desk watching her and taking notes. When she was clicking on a link within the application we were using, she started right clicking on it. She seemed confused why the browser's right click menu was coming up and the link wasn't taking her to another screen. Even more bizzare since I was working with her for over an hour at this point. Her explanation was that her dual monitors were too close together. Took a breath and tried again, this time obviously using the left button on the mouse. I was very taken aback but she moved right along and didn't bring it up again.
PlagueofCorpulence ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I taught a software class to a woman who hadn't used a computer in quite a while.
How long is quite a while you ask? The last OS she used before my class was MS DOS...
We spent a lot of time on right click vs left click.
MissJill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My high school was still teaching DOS this century.
PlagueofCorpulence ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So your highschool was teaching a computer system that was at best, 20 years out of date at the time? That's stupid.
MissJill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If we go by market share 10 years would be more accurate.
They had a grant for technology in the late 80's early 90's but were otherwise a very poor district.
dranide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have to show people on a daily bases how to log into their school email. They then ask me "Well what's my username and password?"
Roont ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We once had this guy come into the shop for computer repairs. We fixed his porno virused box, and in the process, someone removed his knockouts for the CD-ROM bays. He came back in the next day all in an uproar because we removed them, and according to him they "blocked the RF signals that were infecting his computer". We eventually wound up getting so sick of his hissy fit we told him it was an ID10T user interface error we couldn't fix and sent him to our most hated competitor with explicit instructions to inform them of the ID10T user interface error. Hilarity ensued when we got a call a few hours later from our competitor, who was not happy with us at all.
dundundun13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone at a tech company watching a video on how to change your password.
idiotsbrother ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This: https://youtu.be/hShY6xZWVGE
yahzi0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked as desktop support for the city of Boulder years ago. Some old lady called in complaining that her mouse wasn't working properly. I drove to her location with a replacement in hand. Before I got a chance to do anything she immediately showed me how the cursor would only travel a short distance across the screen before stopping. (This is back when mice had balls.) I picked up the mouse, moved it back to the center of the mouse pad and continued moving the cursor to the edge of the screen. She looked at me like I just performed an amazing magic trick! Some people just shouldn't get computers...
flaflashr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
10 years ago, my GF (adult, mid-50s) bought a simple calculator. She complained that the clear key did nothing. I peeled off the sticker across the display that had example numbers printed onto clear plastic.
Seriously, this actually happened.
svayam--bhagavan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A senior of mine brought his CPU to office to the IT department to make the cloud work in his computer. He felt that cloud worked only in office and he needed special permission to make it work in his home.
marshmallow_unicorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I asked a customer to email an order to me, so that I could copy/paste what they wanted into our system. Customer asked for my fax number and claimed that it would be easier for her to fax it. I reluctantly gave her the number.
She printed out an email her boss sent to her with the order info and faxed that to me. Printing and faxing were easier than clicking forward and typing my email address.
mainsoda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was helping my Dad over the phone, he couldn't get the internet to connect. But he said the screen kept going black. Come to find out he took so long to find things the screen would time out before he could select anything. It was tricky getting him to get to the energy saver page, but when I did he set it to 5 minutes and then we could start working on his internet.
brndnlnd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend trying to force an hdmi cable into the usb port on an xbox...
Sieg67 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma held the mouse backwards when she first jumped on her computer. This was back in the late 90's.
toddsmash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Scotty talking into the mouse in Star Trek IV
krypticalkickerfive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My teacher once tried to copy and paste a youtube video. Not the link, he just right-clicked the video and kept looking for the "copy" option. Also when our class told him to press f5 he pressed the f and the 5 key.
HereComeDots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was a TA for a Web Design class at a high school a few years back, and this girl, absolute airhead, was not getting her work done so the teacher asked me to walk her through it so I start by saying "First, open up My Documents folder" and she replies "Where is My Documents folder?" as she's staring at her desktop screen with the My Documents folder icon staring right back at her.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know how most people type like this?
Well I knew a girl who typed LIKE THIS sorry for shit drawing (hopefully you can still tell whats happpening) but this would piss me off.
cookerlv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/forwardsfromgrandma
/r/oldpeoplefacebook
SanshaXII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad's cousin putting the mouse up to the monitor to move it around.
The worst part was that this obviously worked so he kept doing it.
jovyeo1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9kTVZiJ3Uc
-Champloo- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In new hire training, the trainer walked people through everything step by step...
I mean, literally everything:
"Okay, let's open up skype for business. Go ahead and click on the start menu. It's the circular icon on the bottom left. It has the windows logo on it... it's here, where my cursor is. Alright, now I want you to click on all programs, then you should see a folder called microsoft office 2013, click on that, then double click on skype."
I could go on, but it was at this moment I realized some people in the new hire class were still struggling to do this... and then I realized the trainer actually planned to do all of this with every class, because it was necessary.
Oh man it was a fun day...
demangis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An old co-worker of mine who spent 30 years as a warehouse inventory dude for the auto industry was hired through a temp agency to help out with customer service and logistics. My now former boss, who didn't once ask about his computer skills, just saw the "30 years of experience" part on his resume and knee-jerk hired him on the spot. Anyway, second day on the job, he had to let one client know when they could pick up their shipment; I gave him an email address and 30 minutes later, squinting his eyes, face inches from the giant computer screen, he asked me if he was doing this right. I look over with said email address in the URL bar and he didn't understand why nothing was happening when he hit return.
Probably not the worst case, but it was especially annoying to me because this dude was suppose to take some of the weight off of my shoulders. I ended up quitting a month later while the guy had a breakdown and disappeared --later found out he moved to Atlanta without telling anyone, even his own family. Don't know how I was the lucky confidante.
andromeda154 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd know of my daughter commented on this thread. All she would need write, "My mother".
pineapplekid8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At work today two ladies were trying to find the best price of an item on amazon. They searched for the item on google, clicked on images, found the one they liked (that was an amazon image) and clicked through to amazon. They read the specifications, realized they didn't like it, went to google, searched for the item....repeat. Three more times. They literally had no idea amazon had a search bar.
And they still don't.
95regenrator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad don't know what a laptop mouse pad is for. When he navigated it and was staring at the cursor moving, still didn't understand.
95regenrator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yea, and he's 54.
lilgremgrem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I walked by my momma in my dad's office looking a little confused, so I went over to look and she was on the google homepage. I asked if she needed help and she said "I can't find the internet".
Trust_Me_Im_Right ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad can't even log into the computer. The words Google, or internet explorer mean nothing to him
Alien_Nicole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Recently, as a thirty something I decided to go back to school starting with community college (read cheap). One day I was sitting in class with my much younger classmates while our teacher tried to show us a video. Try as she might she couldn't make the sound work. The younger, more tech savvy, students tried to help: shutting down the browser, rebooting the computer etc. I sat silently watching this circus until I couldn't take it anymore. I got up, walked to the front of the class and turned on the speakers. Voila..we had sound.
SomaliGiraffe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad has owned a few MBPs and to this day does not know how to create a folder. (Despite having taught it to him multiple times)
...oh, and also, instead of using the two-finger on the trackpad approach, he insists on finding the scrollbar are struggling to scroll one trackpad-length at a time.
heavencondemned ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I teach older folks how to use cell phones for a living. Some of them are total wizards by the end, but the amount of people that are in their 30s and don't even know how to turn it on baffle me. There is definitely still a market for flip phones.
wvscanner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I sold a guy a pc, and he called me 15 min's later trying to explain that CD's didn't fit in it right. After going back and forth with him on the phone, I went over to see for myself. He had placed it on the floor upside down. 0_o
Gansher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend asked for advice on buying a new PC. I asked him what specs his current PC had. He googled an image of his tower case and showed it to me...
Gibihakkasy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
once, my lecturer ask me what my email is as he wants to send me our class schedule. i told him my email address. he then proceed to write it on the browser's address field, where you would write a website url. he got confused to why my email cannot be accessed.
he was my programming class lecturer. i was sure that class gonna be interesting. and it did.
thepolarofbears ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a computer repair shop and we had one customer who came in because he had deleted his C drive. His explanation was that he was trying to protect his data from a virus.
Berries_Cherries ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like with a cloth?
thatJainaGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My aunt was complaining that none of the pictures she was saving from Facebook were showing up in her pictures folder. I asked her to show me what she was doing, so I could locate the problem.
She was right clicking the pictures and clicking "copy."
1982throwaway1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Talking to an hr lady at a call center I worked at, she tells me during the mouse proficiency test a lady complained the arrow wasn't moving.
She was holding the mouse to the screen.
crazed3raser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was building my computer, I had the case open on the counter with nothing in it yet and my mom comes over and says "is that the motherboard?"
guestbacon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not too bad, but I had an older instructor at a automotive tech school that would hand write all the notes live in class in word using the handwriting. When he was done with a particular point he would bust out the erase tool and erase what he just wrote like it was on a regular old chalkboard.
mattesse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a Field Tech at a large University, I once delivered a large box of computer Mice to a science lab. I said "I'll just pop the Mice in the store room?" She replied "Oh gosh no, straight in the Blast Freezer please"
datatapes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A guy in my old office wanted to show me the area on a map where a new road was being built. Instead of pointing out the area with his mouse, he pulled out a Sharpie marker and drew the fucking road on his screen. Stunned, all I could muster was "that's a Sharpie marker" (as if a different kind of marker would make it better) he proceeded to try to rub the ink off the screen by licking the cuff of his shirt and rubbing - it didn't work, but I was real clear on where that new road was going in.
KansasMannn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a cable guy, I work in rural areas in the Midwest installing fiber to the home. Literally gig speeds possible and half of these people don't even know what wifi is. They're generally upset that I'm at their homes upgrading their service from DSL to fiber, for free! As far as computer illiterate, I've had customers who don't even know what computers are, how?!?
bcsimms04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a financial institution and god help you if you dare suggest to someone over the age of 50 to use our super easy and convenient mobile app or online banking. Half the time their faces fill with rage and they are offended that you'd even suggest they use one of those unsafe computers! No thank you...I will write checks and keep an inaccurate poorly written transaction register!(and come into the institution every other day to ask questions about where their money is and why it doesn't add up).
TheRealRushky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work at Staples; What type of ink does my computer use?
Every single day.
Apply_OK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FINALLY MY USERNAME IS VALID!
omnichronos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to show my mom that moving the mouse made an arrow move on the screen. Then I had to explain to her why that was important.
omnimater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Woman called the cell phone guy in our IT department (employer distributes work phones to some employees) complaining about a problem with the charger for her Samsung iPhone.
Falnredemption ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dads "Girl Friend" aka the bitch once moved my computer mouse when it was on a screen saver and when it went right to the desktop. She started screaming, "I'm sorry I broke your computer!"
cwodenscheck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Being a computer tech for 15 years...a guy tried for 10 minutes to find the power switch on a tower to turn it on, no kidding, it was the 1" round button on the front marked "Power", it was my brother in law...who died a painful stupid death falling out of a window while drunk.
NickTDesigns ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:14:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You sound like you had a deep hatred for him.
Strange_Imagery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happened yesterday our community manager received a call asking him to change the facebook cover picture of the company to a design they emailed him of an upcoming event, he opens the e-mail and the design is square shaped he proceeds to tell them it won't display correctly in that format "ok ill tell the designer that" a little while later they call again he checks the new design and it's the right size this time, informs them that he's going to upload it now, and they say ok don't hang up, upload it fast and when i tell you we're done delete it, we don't want anyone to see it we just want to take a screenshot to present it for approval, what kind of fucking designer is not capable of doing a muck up on photoshop?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
IT prof I had last semester was showing us a website as part of his lecture. He logs into his computer, opens Google Chrome, and the home page is obviously our university website. He starts searching for Google in the search bar at the top of the university page.
Yes, IT prof who manages large scale projects for a worldwide corporation...
Edit: grammar
InvocatioNDotA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom payed $60 (about 6-ish years ago i think) for what she thought was virus protection. Turns out it wasn't virus protection and was malware that was taking over the computer and it took me hours to remove.
huhwhatimsorry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Biology teacher sophomore year of highschool was trying to print a ten page test for sixty students. (Thats 600 pages) He needed help because his printer wasnt printing and he kept trying over and over again, but nothing was working. He was printing thousands of pages to the wrong printer. Lmao
dxdifr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in IT support. This happens a lot. Can you you restart your computer? Person comes back 2 seconds later. "Ok it's restarted". Me: "Wait you restarted your computer that fast?" Person: "Yes" (They are powering their monitor off and on)
JonGSonOfTheDee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever my mom signs up for a new account online, (be it social media, banking, whatever...) she hand writes the login credentials, security questions, et al. - which is usually a good thing. Except she keeps it all in a notebook and never updates or crosses out old info, or even labels what it's for. So every time she can't get in, I'm called & often guessing which username goes with which password.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is fact that in 1999, my foster mother searched for the "any" key on her Packard Bell.
I don't normally tell the story because it sounds like I'm trying to bite The Simpsons.
sodiyum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom once asked what the cloud was and how she could put it on her computer.
Bless her heart.
GoodOlBoy18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My English professor typing "w" to get to google and not understanding YouTube
Sureilleatit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a pawn shop and I have people return laptops because there's no Internet on them.
dengh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the computer lab in college. Got asked to help someone b/c they couldn't read their homework from their floppy disk. When I got to them, they had folded a 5-1/4" floppy and we're trying to insert the folded floppy into a 3-1/2" drive.
The look on their face when I told them their work was likely gone forever was heartbreaking.
feelin_raudi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I finally have a true and relevant anecdote! Two weeks ago my great aunt messaged me on Facebook to tell me she had some genealogy information she wanted to share with me. She asked for my physical address(again, over Facebook) so that she could print out an email she received and mail it to me.
DerkBerk- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at USPACOM in Hawaii in 2006. Working in one of the ops centers. So I am the J6 which is the IT/COMMS department. This army colonel comes up to me and says, "hey 6, hey killer I can't get this computer to work". He's slapping the monitor and unplugging, plugging the cables. I walk over and hit the monitor power button.
DerkBerk- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Working for the J6, I mean.
Chaise91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Spoke with a women yesterday who was following this checklist but did one step too many, but it still pretty much left the screen exactly the way it needed to be. So she says "It says right click on the details and select print" which is exactly what I did and it printed off exactly what she needed. She was eternally grateful that I had done exactly what the checklist was telling her to do the entire time.
g-a-r-n-e-t ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a sales associate in a store that sells tile. 99% of my job involves using a portable POS system on the sales floor (an iPad with a case that has a tag scanner and credit card reader). Everyone is supposed to have their own personal one with a name on it and your email put on there.
One of the newer associates is a guy in his 50s who had never sent an email until the one he sent to apply for this job. His 14-year-old daughter had to do it for him. I walked up on him one day going through emails on an iPad and scratching his head, wondering who all these people were and what were they talking about and should he just delete everything.
Turns out he'd grabbed the one connected to the store manager's email, and couldn't figure out that it was the manager's inbox and not his own. When I asked him why he thought his email would be on the manager's iPad, the answer I got was 'because I'M using it, not Manager! It should switch automatically when I pick it up!'
Alwin_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
During my internship on the HR department of a large hotelchain I once overheard a female coworker tell another coworker "I have to buy a new memorycard for my phone; this one is all filled up. That's like the third one this year I have to replace". When I asked her why she didnt just delete/copy the files and pictures she was amazed that you could do that. I then spent most of the day copying her pictures and files for her and sorting them.
Sires83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Working in mobile phones I get a ton of idiotic issues from older folks. This one isn't the worst but I see it very often and think it's hilarious. Personal phone number on a post it note taped to the back of the phone.
Also when I ask "do you know your Apple ID and password (or gmail)" and I get back a sarcastic scoff, as if for some reason knowing your passwords is beneath them.
Forumrider4life ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Moved my grandpa to win 10, he hated it so I changed the layout to look like 7. He is super happy I got that crappy 10 off and got him back to 7.... He still hasent noticed.. He also hated crome so I changed the chrome Icon to an explorer icon.... Super happy.... Still doesnt know.... The list goes on and on.
Msn got updated and the contact book layout got updated... He swears windows 10 fucked everything up.... He doesn't realize its the same thing he had before. The list goes on, needless to say he thinks hes on windows 7, using explorer and hes happpy.... Nothing has changed.
xprobex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm late to the thread but here it goes.
We had to give presentations in my literature class near the end of the semester. Naturally, we brought our presentations on flash drives or via email to play them off the professor's laptop and present to the class. One kid brought in his desktop. I'm talking a full size machine to present. He said he didn't know how to use a flash drive so he just brought his computer in to present from his computer.
uMinded ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had someone give me directions by pulling out an iphone and manually driving maps to find the location. When I said why not use google maps on the computer the says "oh, google has maps too now?"
brungo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad thought he was so crafty when he was telling me how he got the office suite from work for free. He emailed himself shortcuts of each of the programs. After his rage was tamed when it didn't work, I had to spend quite some time explaining to him what shortcuts are.
QuantumDrej ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
18 year old girl, first day of computer class in freshman year of college. For context, we had simple little HP computers with a monitor. Nothing fancy.
The girl who sat next to me looked around at the beginning of class, then glanced at me and whispered, "How do you turn it on?"
stringduster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother. With everything. I will show her step by step how to do something. Write it down carefully, completely foolproof. And she will still ask me to do the shit for her. You stick the SD card in! Folder appears! Drag and drop! Fuck!
seagal126 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work somewhere where I did tech support over the phone for people. One of my customers was not having any problems on his computer but problems knowing how to actually use it. I spent about an hour trying to walk him through how to type things into a text box, how to click on things, etc.
scruit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A user that connected her old parallel port printer by hooking the ears on the port onto the cable. The cable was not plugged in. It didn't quite reach and the user said they thought it was "close enough"
iliketurtles242 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was trying to explain the print screen button to my father and he was getting mad because the page wasn't printing after he pressed it even though I told him it copies the whole page.
BoredsohereIam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My speakers have been broken for weeks.
No the volumes been muted, here I'll show you how to change that. click There, you have speakers.
few weeks later
Damn speakers are broken again.
...are they? Are they REALLY broken?
.....click never mind
ALSO
attempting to find old wireless mouses USB receiver to unplug and replace with new one
Did you happen to see where he (son) plugged in the first one?
First what? I thought this was wireless.
It is I just need the little USB box that let's them talk back and forth.
How do they talk though?
...wirelessly? Like those little remote controlled cars (kid) had yesterday.
Oh ok because of the batteries I get it.
Conversation went on but that was not what I ment. She got it eventually
ReadyForHalloween ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom insists on typing "www.google.com" and then googling facebook or pinterest.....
godless-life ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was working in a small computer store during my last years in highschool (2001-2003), and next to parts and stuff we'd also have a couple pre-build systems.
So one lady walks in, we go through the usual routine of what she's going to need the computer for, what's her budget, etc.
Recommended one of our lower-end systems, she buys it, comes in 2 weeks later, telling me how nice it works. Then she drops the bomb: "only the retractable cup holder seems to be broken, it doesn't go back in and makes funny noises..."
She was talking about the CD-ROM drive.
PM_me1bitcoin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Years ago I was working for a small computer repair shop we would go out and fix the "coffee mug tray" it happen so much we would charge more.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hope this counts. My dad has never been tech savvy and recently made the switch from his old Motorola flip phone to a brand new (to him) s4. He loved it! He could look up music videos, send pictures he finally joined the club. The only issue he had was that his bill was out of control. He calls me and asks "Son what can I do to use less of my data?" I said do you use your wifi when your at the house? (I set it up for him about 2 years prior and he uses it constantly on the laptop and blu ray player.) He says no its LTE not wifi. Haha I never laughed so hard in my life cause he was dead fucking serious. Well needless to say we rectified the problem in a matter of seconds and now he can watch all the porn.
georgefrosted ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The person said this in 2006
Craig_On_Toast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At my work, Finance Manager trying to show a new temp employee something. Finance Manager: "Ok, now go into My Computer".... Temp: 'Gets up and walks over to his computer' Finance Manager: "What... What are you doing?" Temp: "You said go into YOUR computer!" HOW!!!!!
Graphyt87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a customer whi had browsing issues.
Short story; he xoulsnt browse because he didn't realise that his wireless keyboard needed batteries. Took about 7 minutes to get to this point in the conversation.
Purple_Poison ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Quite late to the party. But have heard the story that happened to a friend of a friend of a friend. Let's call him Jim. While on tech support duty one day, he got call from a customer saying that the coffee cup holder was broken and needed to be replaced. Jim was pretty mulch sure that no computer models came with a coffee holder. After much talking and digging he realized that the customer was using the CD Rom tray as a coffee cup holder. It had broken when a huge coffee mug was placed on it.
noxidc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A users floppy disk wouldn't insert, the user said they tried everything and said that IT was useless and was ready to smash their computer. I went to their computer, turned the floppy disk around so it want facing backwards and inserted it
chicostick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom called asking for help with her iPhone. I was stationed across the country and was in the middle of debarking an aircraft when she called. Told her the easiest thing to do would be to go into iTunes.
I tell her to plug her phone in and describe what she should be looking for. Nope, she says, none of that is coming up. I ask if she's opened the program called iTunes. Yes, she says. So after about ten minutes of troubleshooting I tell her to download iTunes again, maybe there's a problem with the program.
"What do you mean, download iTunes?"
"Just go to the website and click 'download iTunes', mom."
"Oh, your dad doesn't let me download anything on this computer. I'm on iTunes.com, is that not the same thing?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Digital ad designer.
Asked for size requirements in inches.
miahelf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Employee helping customer on rental computer at copy and print shop:
"Just right click that icon first"
"What do you mean click"
"...these are self serve machines..."
daftfader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kid in computer class couldn't find any games on his class pc so he deleted everything on the hard drive.
Next guy to use that machine was so confused.
Alan_Smithee_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A person google searching their email address, as a means of checking their mail.
MrLangbyMippets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was setting up a new TV for my grandmother last week, and this happened:
Me: "alright, we've got the television plugged in, and we're ready to mount it on the wall."
Her: "oh, you don't need to do that, the cable guy will come tomorrow and move it there."
Me: "that's if your moving it to a new location."
Her: "well isn't that a new location."
Me: "no, what they mean is that if you're moving to a new house, they'll let you take the cable box with you."
Her: "but I don't think you can lift it."
Me: "it's an LCD flatscreen, it weighs just a little more than that pillow over there."
Her: "but where's the bracket to mount it?"
Me: "already on the wall."
Her: "oh"
Me: facepalms
cowboy_salmon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom's friend asking if her hard disk is big enough to download the internet so she doesn't have to pay monthly fees.
I don't know how she became an adult because a years back, she was so mad at her daughter's math teacher. "9 multiplied by nothing should be 9 and not zero!"
sudo42chickens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Okay now left click this link here." Person reaches left hand across the keyboard to the mouse and clicks it with left hand
TickleThePink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing made me realize how separate software and hardware were until I took a programming class in high school. Class taught Basic & if the floppy โdidnโt work,โ the teacher would chuck em. Every day I would fish out the floppies, format them and hand them back to him. He didnโt know how to format floppies and just assumed they were bad. He also didnโt know how to run programs from a DOS prompt & was confused about how I could make games appear that werenโt โthere.โ Love scorched earth
jofo1993 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i commented this on another similar thread but
my grandpa wanted to purchase a virus protection program online for 19.99 so he pulls out a 20 dollar bill and starts lookin around the computer for a slot to put the money in like a vending machine
Cant_Remorse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man I wish it worked like that
An-amish-cloud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When fucking Ph.D students and their advisors who hold tenure at a four-year university can't start a goddamn PowerPoint presentation.
keep_it_calm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom trying to calculate her official work . She went through her pile of bills and typed the amount of each employee from each bill into an excel sheet. She then printed off the sheet and used a calculator to find the total. lol
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to look after a computer lab at a university. Computers were on the desk next to the monitor, keyboard and mouse. The monitors would go into power saving mode after a while, so were black.
One day, I had taken a computer away for maintenance. A girl came in and kept hammering the keyboard trying to get the computer out of power saving mode.
I pointed out that there was no computer there, she nodded and kept doing it
How2Smash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma forgot her password. She instantly bought a new computer.
I could have gotten in...
jollygreenegiant24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmother consistently asks me if my phone is an Android or a smartphone
EUIU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once saw a woman trying to move the cursor on the screen by pointing the mouse at the screen and swinging it like it was a Wii remote controller.
silverelan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some rotund consultant guy came into my office once and started trying to talk to the computer through the mouse. It was awkward AF when my boss told him to try the keyboard. Got it all on video too.
Hello, Computer!
cheeseburgercat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lady that works in Product Development at one of the largest hair tool manufacturers has no idea how to open email attachments in gmail.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a client who would say zoogle instead of Google. As in, "yeah libedon can you just zoogle that?"
He was a brain surgeon.
A BRAIN SURGEON
Jepson_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My HTML teacher had no idea what I was doing when he saw me editing the HTML of a web page using inspect element. He is also a member of our school's IT department. Following was an entire year of twice a week one hour sessions of screwing around with my mates.
nmagod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I was in 8th grade and overheard a conversation that only cemented that I was way ahead of the curve on computers
This kid in the "computer class", I don't know the actual name of it, I was too poor to get into it, claimed he had built a computer "with 8 gigahertz of ram".
Edit: this was 1996/1997 and I want to stress that he said those exact words.
Juliss_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Last semester I had the mandatory computer class which teaches you everything from what a mouse does to how to use a USB and a CD player. In my opinion this class is a waste of time but is required to graduate. First day an hour into the class a girl asks how the windows PC turns on, she had been sitting there clicking the on and off button of the monitor obviously failing to turn on the computer. When the teacher finally showed and explained how the computer needed to be turned on her response was "Oh I'm sorry I don't know this cause I have a Mac"
crybllrd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad opened his browser (IE), home page was MSN, clicked a toolbar bookmark for Bing, searched for http://www.Google.com, then on Google searched for Gmail.
I was flabbergasted.
xandrellas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Windows 95 - some 70 year old soon retiree at job I worked at as an 18 yr old help desk... Had me written up because I didn't put freecell link on her desktop. there was a games folder on said desktop.
800oz_gorilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably a fellow help desk tech was telling users with modem trouble to flip the laptop over and "give it a bop" to see if the spanking fixed the issue. She was sweet but man...
FrenzalStark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Little late to the party, but whatever...
I have an ex-girlfriend. Ex-fiancee actually. You know when you open Chrome, and it has a Google search box as the home page? She would search that for Google EVERY TIME. She literally Googled Google. It made me so fucking mad. I made a lucky escape on that one.
Oh, and here's the kicker. After Googling Google, she would actually click the search result that would take her to the Google homepage. The SAME FUCKING PAGE SHE JUST LEFT.
How some people survive in the digital age I have no idea.
PrivetKalashnikov ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lady I user to work with scratched the computer screen at her desk and she used sandpaper to try to get the scratch out.
saynotothedumb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was recieving stock while part time at a retail clothing store when we were delighted by a visit from our district manager. She was the woman who told us on a biweekly basis to move all the products to the opposite side of the store for no reason. Anyway, she walked over to the computer and within seconds shouted out "WHY ISN'T IT SCROLLING? WHY ISN'T IT SCROLLING?"
I respond a second later, "Is the scroll lock on?" "What?" She threw back and I was a bit far away, so giving her the benefit of the doubt I repeated a bit louder "The scroll lock." This time I am sure she heard me, but to her I was speaking in alien code.
I was dealing with someone who did not know the keys on a keyboard.
Resigned, I left my workstation and walked over to the counter and peered over. The keyboard was old enough to have lights for caps, scroll and num lock and sure enough. I pressed one button and walked away.
The scrolling peril was no more.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not computer, but phone. Got a call just starting my shift.
Customer: MY GODDAMN ALARM WON'T STOP RINGING AND THIS SHIT'S BEING GOING ON FOR 2 HOURS!!!
Me: Sir, can you see a little icon that looks like a clock?
Customer: YEAH BUT WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING DAMMIT.
Me: Sir, press the little clock and press where the time is highlighted.
Customer: Oh, you have a good day hehe.
SirClayGuitar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My college roommate was complaining about how slow the internet was. I told him to unwind and straighten the LAN cables because computer signals are 1s and 0s, and the 1s would get stuck easily if the cables are straight. He stands up and proceeds to straighten out all the cables...
m0c0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Way back when we had dial-up I was explaining the internet to my grandmother. The window that showed the connection minimized itself when the connection was complete. As soon as the window minimized and shrank down into the taskbar, my grandmother looked down at the floor trying to find where the window fell to.
It was actually kind of cute.
Fermats_Last_Account ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man I work with people about 10 - 20 years older than me.
I created an excel document that would be shared around and wrote a comment to describe the number they need to put in order to generate the correct information. The guy presenting it said, "click this box to see what number to put", without knowing that it's just an excel comment... It automatically pops up when you roll the mouse over on the cell, you don't need to "click on the box."
A coworker of mine just got done transferring files to her original files and replaced the originals. Later, she asked if she could retrieve her old files back. Haha not a chance, you overwrote them.
One of my coworkers excel files wouldn't work because her settings disabled macros. She said, "maybe if I close the shared folder it will work." What does the folder window have anything to do with why the file won't work? Haha
NJInfinite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do IP (Basically a subject where we learn how to present documents and touch type) and our teacher was the sort of lady that thought she knew everything about computers....
Anyway, for some reason, my monitor completely shut off without warning whilst I was doing a typing test. The teacher, being the computer genius she is, comes around and asks me:
"Try Ctrl+Alt+Delete"
There was a moment of silence before I decided to move to another computer, and eventually, to another subject.
Overwatch_preachy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just a little one but my mum's BT Wifi was playing up and the signal was dropping out, she asks me 'is it because I have a birthday card in front of the box (router)'
DamagedAnalPassage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i used to work customer support for a popular online auction site, and one elderly woman found our phone number and said that someone who had bought something offer her kept sending her abusive messages:
Her: His username is [redacted], I want you to suspend his account!
Me: Sure thing - I just need a copy of the messages he's sending you. I don't have access to them, so I'll need you to email me some of the messages he's sent.
Her: I can't, it's too long
Me: I'm sorry? I don't understand?
Her: I don't have the time to type it all out now
Me: That's fine, just copy and paste me a couple of the worst ones and I'll take it from there and we---
Her: Woah woah, slow down son. What the hell do you mean by "copy and paste".
This woman had never heard of copy-and-paste before. She then tells me about how whenever she's had to send someone an email, or copy down down some text, she's opened the windows side by side and typed it out by hand. She was nearly in tears when she realised what "copy and paste" was. She said she'd heard of it, but didn't know what it was and was too embarrassed to ask anyone
EwoksMakeMeHard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just today a co-worker had to explain to another co-worker that no, you cannot plug your headphones into a USB port in order to listen to music. The man is good at his job, he just doesn't understand computers, or how they work, or what they can do.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I went to see a course counselor (she was in her sixties at least) to get my courses adjusted to a less suicidal schedule.
She clicked on explorer, it immediately defaulted to the size of the last opened screen: a tiny window about 5 inches wide, 3 inches tall (including the task bar).
She navigated the college's course portal in that tiny window. Worse, after long agonizing minutes of her looking through the courses (this involved lots of navigating side to side and up/down), she opened Outlook as well and it opened on top of the explorer window, said something to the effect of "oh dear I did it again" and opened another explorer window (which again opened to the same tiny size) and did the whole course navigation all over again. Then she copied pasted everything on that page into an email, and edited the contents she pasted. Then she went back to the web portal (btw this time she had the foresight to move the window so Outlook wouldn't foil her again), went to my personal course page or whatever it's called, and copied/pasted the edited contents in the email, into the web portal. Basically she used outlook as a sticky note.
I honestly still wonder to this day if she was just bored and wanted to spend an hour messing with younger tech saavy students. I really wanted to just grab the mouse and do it for her omg, but I didn't want to upset someone who would be able to grant me leniency.
Leecannon_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother seems to be a daily battle towards computer literacy
abcx10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother lent his phone to my mom while we're in korea to keep in contact and meet later on. It turns out my mom never turned on the wifi and had no idea how so we couldn't get in contact for 7 hours waiting for her.
SchpittleSchpattle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I were making this up. Seriously.
The owner of the company I contract with literally uses his phone to take pictures of his computer screen and then sends the photo to me via text so that I can send it to my email and print it for him. Then he'll read it and throw it in the trash because he "prefers to read from paper".
I just... I can't even. I've tried to tell him there are much easier ways to do that. Like literally 1 step easy and he just says "I'm not a computer person". This guy is somehow a millionaire at 40. It makes me want to blow my brains out.
DL6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friends and I used to host LAN parties. One time we noticed this guy packing up his stuff, right in the middle of a tournament. Go over to see if everything is alright.
Him: No my computer is broken. Me: Ah, that sucks, what happened? Him: I lost my IP address Me: umm...I bet if you just turn it back on it will be fine.
He did, it worked, played the rest of the night.
donutsfornicki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad hands me a phone book when he wants me to look up a business.
acodered ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just sold a CNC router and explaining "click here".
User: "???"
Me: "Click mouse button here".
User: " There is two buttons on the mouse".
pm_me_labradors ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was updating computers and everyone had to log off. This guy has word, outlook, and a few other windows open. He closes out of all of them before logging off. He then sees the icon for word, outlook, excel, etc at the bar at the bottom of his screen. This makes him think they are still open so he opens everything on the bar at bottom and closes out of them. Then he realizes the icons are still there and says I will let you take care of this. He then stands up and walks away.
neanderthaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:29:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hand to God: I got a call when working the Helpdesk from someone who didn't understand that their computer needed electricity to run. The building lost power and they called in to complain that the PC wasn't on. I had to talk them through finding the power button on the tower before moving to "is it plugged in" and at that point they said they couldn't tell because all the lights had gone out a short time ago.
phatyasser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:29:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My first day of college , I'm in a compulsory computing essentials class, this girl walks in with like 20 minutes of class time remaining and sits next to me (only available seat) and just kinda stares into the black screen. After looking at her in a confused matter I proceeded to ask if she needed any help and she replied with "How can I turn this on? I'm only used to laptops". My brain facepalmed itself so much that day.
Thief39 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was younger (don't remember) I somehow renamed all the folders to be called DAD . Needles to say it took my parents ages to figure out how to undo.
SilentDis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do remote break/fix tech support. Someone breaks something, I connect to their computer and fix it. At this point, I've seen it all.
The one I run into daily is inability to open a website. Gotta get people to the site, run the program, so I can connect in the first place. Part of it is because the browsers are jacked up with more toolbars than you see in the funny pictures, part of it is because they lose their minds when they get near technology.
So, I'm gonna give you a way to help. Pick your favorite remote-access application. Got one? Good. Now, how to get mom to download it so you can help her?
Pretty much guarantees they'll have an IE-like window up, with no scripting support so it can't be hijacked, that you can talk them through clicking the download button.
Then just hop on and fix it yourself.
Gets around 99% of hijacks, and it's a very, very 'regular' look to everything that can't be changed.
HiddenGhost14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In middle school, one of the teachers was having trouble getting internet explorer to go full screen. The whole time she was projecting, so she started googling, and I saw that it showed an image of the internet options page. And this was a proper image, with the apply, cancel, and ok button, and the X in the top right. She thought the window was actually open, and tried to close it by clicking on the X on the image, nothing happened, so she then tried to click the cancel or ok button, still nothing happened. She then scrolled down until it was no longer visible, then closed internet explorer altogether, and proceeded with a different lesson.
It felt like, she knew how the windows worked, but couldn't tell if they were actual windows, or pictures of them.
She also loved George Clooney.
PM_ME_UR_TOETHUMB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom thought the computer became much heavier because of how much "things" I had downloaded on it. Little did she know it was just the accumulated dried up semen on the side.
CampArawak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boss is extremely illiterate in regards to computers (understandable, as she is older...), but out of the myriad of funny things I have had to explain/deal with, recently we had a false review posted through Google Reviews, and I was telling her about it....and she told me to "call Google". I just started laughing and she didn't understand why. I get that there is probably some form of contact for digital reputation or something, but the way she said it was like, "call the entity known as Google". Funny shit.
twhayes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not necessarily illiterate, but as a reference librarian in the late 90s I had to stop some dude who was printing porn on a dot matrix printer.
The dude was experiencing tantalizing tension with each ziiiiiiip of the printer head.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I shall quote my great-aunt Gertrude, "We ain't got no dot coms."
smithyithy_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"To start press any key."
BitcoinBanker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My 18month old regularly stands on his mothers iPad.
vitruvius7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a place with computer rental (not an internet cafe) and a lady came in and because all our computers are PC's she asked "could I use a CD on your computers even though I have a Mac." Me: " use any computer you like" She sat down and slid the CD in between an open gap that existed between the CD ROM and the computer case thinking its the CD slot similar to her Mac at home
freddafredian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don t know if it counts but once my dad was on the computer got up and looked for his phone book for 20 minutes to call the hairdresser.. just google it damnit you re in front of your pc!!
iAMamelia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work for one of the 4 big wireless carriers in the US. I had a lady who bought a new smart phone. Now, we don't have transfer machines anymore, so to transfer pictures when they don't have an SD card and it's not a phone that can support a transfer app, I use Google Photos. Well, we got everything backed up, and our WiFi doesn't work very well, so I said she'd need to connect to her WiFi at home. About an hour later, she calls and I have to talk her through how to connect to her WiFi. Once we get that done, all she has to do is open Google photos because we already signed her in at the store. She keeps telling me that her pictures aren't there, that it's someone else's pictures. I can't figure out for the life of me how that was possible unless she shared a Google account with someone. So she starts talking about someone hacking her phone, and tracking her location and spying on her. She then says she's coming back to the store to show me. She comes in and says she just wants to return it and go back to her old phone. I tell her to let me look at it first, and figure out what was wrong. If you have ever used Google photos, you know the first time you open the app it shows you sample photos...
wafflez71721 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma saw me use a new monitor and said nice cumputer
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've had a major computer embarrassment one day. I designed a quick birthday invitation on Microsoft Word, copied the whole page, & CTRL+V about 40 times, which made the document 40 pages long, then pressed print. My mom came up behind me & asked why I didn't just set the printer to print 40 copies. I still turn red when I think about it to this day.
Sircheeze89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work as a mechanic. A customer came in complaining of a warning light. I scanned it for codes and found none. She specified that it was in the center of the dash and that it never goes off. She shows me the "light". It was a sticker that said "passenger air bag". She was screaming mad refusing to believe it was a sticker before she left.
HolyMoleyCacao ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work tech support. One of my first calls...
Customer: my computer won't turn on.
Me: Does anything at all happen when you try to turn it on? Sound? A fan?
Customer: Nothing. Here listen.
The customer holds the phone out in front of her and I can hear her repeatedly tapping what I assume was the spacebar.
Me: Okay, but what happens if you press the power button?
Customer: My computer doesn't have a power button.
karter0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Spanish teacher last year didn't know how to use the trackpad on her new laptop the school provided for her. She took it to the library to ask how to use it because she thought there was no cursor
jer123456and7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every day, my boss opens up Internet Explorer, goes to yahoo.com, and then searches for google.
NWBoomer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Worked on a team where we went out to field offices replacing dumb terminals to the mainframe with desktop PCs. Employees got classroom PC training while techs replace the hardware at their desks. A common problem for new PC users was moving the mouse; people would run off the mouse pad so move the keyboard over or they would move the pad over to get "more room".
Occasionally someone held the mouse with the cord toward them. The result is you move the moues left, pointer moves right on the screen.
A little teasing happened, all good natured, but reminded people not to feel badly, nobody was born with this skill.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's quite easy to learn basic level stuff, there are courses you can find online that teach basic-intermediate stuff
girliegirl80 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a Dell Business Sales call center just out of college and we would regularly get calls from angry small business owners who just received their new computer but it would not turn on... because it was not plugged in.
This was an often enough occurrence that we (in sales) would ask customers if the system was plugged in before transferring to support.
benderling1550 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well hopefully I'm not too late to the party. My grandma called me and left a frantic message about how "Google broke my Microsoft and won't let me view my emails ". She was referencing how when she tried to use chrome to check her Gmail account she couldn't see anything but the sidebar and some garbled text where the emails should be.
I'm baffled. I have no idea what's happening from her explanation so I tell her I'll just come over and fix it. 30 minute drive later I get to her house, go to the computer, open chrome and the browser is zoomed in like 200%. I facepalm, zoom out, show her everything is OK and how to zoom and left after getting a big container of baked goods for my services.
PotentialNinja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was younger I worked in a copy room and one of the office ladies asked if I could make a color copy for her. She handed me a black and white sheet that had pictures of office shirts (so employees could pick which shirts they wanted ordered) and asked me to give her color copies..
EditingTime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin's grandfather was learning how to use a computer. They told him to move the mouse up. He lifted it off the mouse pad. It didn't work. He got upset. He doesn't use computers anymore.
Rememberkassidy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once worked with a guy who was just terrible with technology. But my favorite story was when I asked him to type a word with the letter E. This was on a keyboard he used everyday.
The computer was a little old, and the letters were beginning to wear off. But it was still very usable.
We changed the password for this computer, and I had him type in "freestyle" and he replied "how do you do this? There's no E on this keyboard"
The top two lines of the E has worn off and he thought the keyboard just had two L's, and had been copying and pasting the letter E every time he needed to use it to type a document.
Gloriousstudent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My digital studies prof (believe it or not) had an app pop up during a lecture. He got flustered (kept minimizing and maximizing the screeen) until he decided to UNPLUG the computer from the power source. The whole class was in shock.
Dguffey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At my school, a teacher plugged printer power cable into he laptop Ethernet port, it just happened to be the perfect size. Then complained that her new power cord was not the same quality as her old charger... Which happened to still be plugged in sitting on her desk.
TehChid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aunt called tech support. They told her to right click. She said it did nothing.
After a few minutes of conversation, the tech guy found out she typed the words "right click".
elmersglue188 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lady at work came over to my computer and needed to show me something. She didn't understand minimalizing or tabs so instead she exited out my window and opened a new one just so she could sign in to her email account. I had a lot of stuff up and ready to go on that window, too. Made me so angry.
enderval ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The GM of an electronics store I worked at years ago asked me for a 250 Jigabyte hard drive once. Also UBS drives etc. She was pretty cool and laid back though, so we never gave her shit about it. She did had a savvy management team who were pleasant to work with, so she never bothered learning the techno stuff. It was still pretty ironic though..
staplebench ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is the honest truth. Worked IT for a large car dealership(s). Owner was old school cowboy. Was around the year 2K and he finally wanted a computer to use "email". Built him a really good fast PC so no issues. Was tasked to help him "use it" Desktop boots and gives him a login prompt. Give login and PW and he manages to get past it. Then asks to see porn of some kind. "show me lesbians or something" Ah fuck thinking he's messing with me or half serious. Known the guy for years... Top boss so what the fuck. I tell him to use the mouse and double click the browser. Guy literally picks up the mouse and holds it to the monitor and moves it around trying to select/move something. Oh shit. Show how mouse is used and clicking... Soon interrupted by his next of kin big wig and bounce to my next task.
TL;DR big boss uses monitor as mouse pad to do something.
Thappadpethappad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is a really popular Indian show. It definitely makes it to the top of computer illiteracy things.
Saph ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably late to the party but I'd still like to mention that one time during a summer job at the PC dept of a big appliances store, a visitor asked me where the Wireless cables were. They were pretty adamant about its existence, too. (Not a router, not a network cable. Wireless cable.)
Brocoolee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad was using the computer but the space for the mouse on the table wasnt big and as the mouse came to the edge of the table instead of lifting the mouse and putting it forward, he took a random item that he can use as an additional surface for mouse
Snibbet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Got a case from the front desk one morning flagged as critical.
"There is a beeping noise at the front desk and someone from IT needs to get over here ASAP to make it stop"
So I walk to the reception desk and there, directly in front of them, through the clear glass doors, is a maintenance crew using a scissor lift to work on a light fixture. Every time the lift moves it goes "beep, beep, beep"
I point at it and ask the receptionist, "Is that your beeping noise?"
She looks at me like I'm the idiot and says, "I don't know!!"
Return to my desk and mark the case as closed.
hugaw1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That getting a computer course is Bullshit and it's only an excuse to play more games and be worthless in life. My parents
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen a lot of people angrily slam the mouse and slap the computer tower because their computer loads slow. It's not fixing anything, best case scenario you've got to buy a new mouse because you broke it.
Oni_Kami ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An elderly woman throwing a huge shit-fit because the new version of Microsoft Office wasn't responding to her clicks...
This was because she was holding the mouse upside-down.
No, it wasn't a wireless mouse or anything or one of those mac unibody mice or anything of the sort.
BravelyRunsAway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandpa still pays for AOL...
holmser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A little late to the party, but here goes. One of my first jobs was working in an AOL call center circa 2000. I had a woman call because the AOL CD wouldn't install, and now it was stuck in the computer. 20 minutes later we determined that she didn't have a CDROM, but had instead cut the CD into a square to put into the 3.5" floppy drive and now it was stuck.
boffadeeez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
About 15 years ago we bought my grandfather his first computer. Once it booted up my dad told him to click the icon in the lower left hand corner. He responded: "How do I click?"
Cubewood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Asked for a screenshot from an App on their phone, lady could not figure out how to make a screenshot, so she put her phone on a scanner and send us a scan of her screen....
shockwavequake4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"So son, when you install the new motherbord will you still have windows?"
malcor88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Walking into my nan rewinding a dvd to the beginning to be returned
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
2016 Computer Engineers working as programmers: Don't know the difference between opening a html page from http:// and double clicking on it from the file manager.
reverendmalerik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Web dev company. Client called my boss to say the email details for their new domain we had sent them were not working. Boss tries to talk them through it over the phone but woman keeps just insisting she's tried everything and the details are wrong.
Boss reluctantly agrees to drive the 1 and a half hours to go see them. Upon arriving he asks the woman who phoned to show him where she has entered the details.
She shows him the computer with hotmail's homepage open on it. She had been entering her business email into hotmail and it had been rejecting it.
JonathanSeals ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
elderly family member got his first computer, spent a day angrily clicking the scroll wheel of his mouse instead of left clicking.
Crotana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Taking cyber security courses at my local CC and there was a lady who was probably mid 50s in there and on the first day of class she couldn't open the zip file that the teacher had given us.
WhatChips ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Call: yeah hi, I am installing your software and the message says press any key to proceed. Umm where is the any key?
etnenopsidni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did customer support for a major internet provider in Belgium for years. I have tons of stories
When asked what they see on their screen I got the answer 'A vase'. She had a vase on top of her screen....
Customer calls to complain she has no internet. After asking different questions regarding the modem we proceed to her computer. I ask her what she sees on her screen; 'it's all black, I can't see a thing'. Turns out she didn't turn her screen on.
Another customer calls to tell he has no internet. Modem is fine so must be a problem with the device he's using to connect to the internet. His laptop fell of a table and cracked his screen. He didn't have internet because his laptop was broken.
Other customers include people who don't know what internet is, don't know how to turn on their computers, computers that were simply not connected....
Just remember another brilliant customer who had difficulties going online. She changed the modem, all cables, she even spent $1000 on a new computer. Turns out all she had to do was connect the modem to the computer....
lonewombat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I need to move your computer(desktop) from this cube to another. Well, do I need to turn it off? Uh, I guess not but it will turn off when I pull the power plug. Well that's inconvenient, can you fix that for next time. Yeah I'll work on that wireless power.
weaintgotnoGDband ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Worked with a small internet company that provided the first home internet in the area. Got a call from and older lady who was having trouble. I told her to click on My Computer and her response was "You say yo computer?"
Braydee7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite was when my dad called me and told me to come to his house after work to fix his computer. Before I left work he called me back and told me there was no need because his girlfriend had fixed it by "changing the batteries".
I didn't ask.
SnuggleShirts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I asked my mom to research some cupcake recipes and share the links with me... The next day she handed me a piece of paper with a list of 50 website urls handwritten on it.
NotoriousBIC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
MY MOTHER!
Pampler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a regulator for a top 20 MSA American city send me an email with a few questions, pretty standard in my job at the time. EXCEPT THAT IT WAS WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS, at the end they signed off with "SORRY FOR ALL THE CAPS". Still unclear whether they didn't know how to turn off caps lock or were just entirely to lazy to retype the email after realizing. Pretty incredible.
Sk8tr_Boi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My instructor friend had one middle-aged student with his pc hooked up to this big ass projector. He told him.."Sir, move your mouse all the way up.." The cursor didn't budge on the screen. He turns around to find his student with the mouse high above his head and said.."sorry but this is as high as I can go.."
snailisland ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom. She was trying to send an email and couldn't figure out why it wouldn't work. "I don't get it. I'm sending it to www.website.com..."
She used a computer at work every day, somehow.
pdub1818 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a guy take 20 mins of my life trying to help him remote in to work from home and he didn't even have an Internet connection. I wanted to drive to his house and choke him
ipswichpleiad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Our company hired a new HR director a couple of years ago. She would send out the usual, dopey HR emails, like: tips to stay cool in the summer, and time card reminders, etc. Well, the IT guy and I noticed that in each email, the signature block was just slightly different - a change in punctuation, or maybe some italics here and there. It turns out... She was hand typing the entire signature block Every. Single. Time.
spook327 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Guy I knew did the following:
Opened Mozilla.
Searched for a thing.
Couldn't find it.
Closed Mozilla, opened IE.
Searched again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's not a Mozilla browser, there's Mozilla Firefox but not a Mozilla browser
spook327 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There certainly was at the time. Sometimes things happen in the past.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: People who are simply too stupid and ignorant to learn basic things with computers. I guess this is why many modern IT departments have the 'take-over' function so they don't have to explain things to customers.
washoutr6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:54:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bingo, why sit there for hours trying to talk someone through some stupid bullshit when you can remote control and fix it in 10 seconds.
darwin57 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in high school my grandma worked payroll for a family run construction company. They were all reasonably intelligent people but had serious issues with technology. Anyways they offered me decent high school money to come see if I can fix their computers. 4 or 5 of their work computers had full hard drives. Not even anything business related, random text documents that never needed to be finished, screen shots of emails. This was on some late 90s PCs so they probably had 10 or 20 gb hard drives. Turns out these poor folks didn't know storage was finite, or that you could delete things.
CrimsonHeretic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My entire family.
aggrocragal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Training new guy at work. Was my first trainee and he has to go to a website to schedule an appointment for a HR task. I give him the URL and tell him to go to the website. He proceeds to look at the keyboard, then at me, then the screen, then repeat about three times before laughing anxiously. Turns out he has zero idea how to use a computer.
Our job is 80% using a computer 20% sales aka being friendly. Pretty proud of the dude though we got through it and three years later still around; he's doing well for himself.
ThorinFrostclaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Uh...I don't know which of these two is better, the woman who we jokingly told (coworkers&me during my IT apprenticeship) that she needs to take her CRT to the scanner to send us a screenshot (stopped her in time), or the one we told, that we have a WLAN-electricity-adapter for her, so that she can use her thinclient as a semi-mobile-pc. She was absolutely fascinated by the broken cut-off electrical connection adapter, with a wlan antenna just shoved into the part, that's not going in the outlet.
Good times...
washoutr6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We messaged the clueless helpdesk guy with messages saying his computer was overheating, he opened up the case and started fanning it with a pad of paper.
falesk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So a friend of mine called me to help her with an audio problem on her laptop. She had a project to turn in and it had sound files that were important and critical to earning a good grade. I had upgraded her computer that night and got the call soon as i got home. I figured i forgot to install some drivers so ran her through the process STEP BY TINY STEP of downloading and installing them. But nothing. We went on for about 2 hours installing, deleting, restarting...close to giving up. Finally we were reaching a breaking point:
" Sorry i really cant seem to figure out whats wrong. It was fine before?"
"Yes! I really need it to work!"
"And your settings are all max?"
"Yes I raised all volumes on the screen! Sigh what can i do?"
"So weird...even when you put the side one on high?"
"What side one?"
"The side volume control....the little wheel?"
"........OH MY GOD ITS WORKING! THAT'S FOR VOLUME!?"
"Are you kidding me!? You didnt know about the wheel!? That took us 2 hours!"
Some how she missed the whole time that she had a volume wheel on her laptop. Its not like it was new she had it for a while! I still rag on her about and we laugh but i dont think ive ever facepalmed so hard.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Watching youtube videos on fullscreen without changing the quality up from 244p.
Eivissaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My step dad asked me how to open and see an email... he had been working from home for years before this and did this everyday but he couldn't figure out to click on inbox and then the email for some reason.
mgn5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An acquaintance that thought that viruses are a natural phenomenon and who was sincerely surprised after hearing that they were made by humans.
2amthoughts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad once asked me how to forward an email. He didn't even know the terminology for it, so he went on a 15-minute rant to explain what he wanted to be done.
ajr51 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The new sales administrator logged a call about an order entry system I had implemented. She said it was changing the quantity every time she entered a number. Noone on the help desk could understand the problem so I went and saw her. She was obviously annoyed as she showed me the issue. "Look every time I type seven point one (7.1) loads and press enter it changes it to seven point ten (7.10)."
jdfx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I asked an employee from a sister company to send me a PGP key that they should have had on their machine (after a well explained email of what the PGP key was for and how we were going to use it).
They took a screen shot of the key on the desktop and sent me that instead.
I'm still not sure if he was trolling me.
SolomonReed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work at best buy, boy do I have some stories
washoutr6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for taking the time to post something completely meaningless instead of posting those stories. I salute you!
Alyneri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A few years a go while I working as a tech for a highschool, A girl came into the office with a "broken laptop screen", she claimed that the machine would not turn on and was beyond repair.
I promptly asked her if she'd charged the Machine.
She replied with,
"I have to do that?"
Keeping a straight face at that point was near impossible.
Honestly though, I think there are worse examples in my time working that job but its certainly the most memorable.
moriartyj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Oooh, oooh, I got this one!
How about the time when we taught officers in my unit to use a computer. One guy sits down, take the mouse and puts it in the floor. To our perplexed looks he replies, "what? Is this not a pedal?"
Or another time when they got into their heads that the server is an actual person on our team and started yelling at him for "crashing all the time"
Tsundere_Valley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was a TA for a Photography/Design course in my HS. One day, a student asked me how to turn in an assignment. "Oh, sure, that's easy.", I thought to myself. I told him to make a folder for the project and put it into the turn in folder conveniently located on the desktop.
He didn't know how. I told him that it was just like in Windows, because I figured Mac was new to this kid. Nope. He literally didn't know how to make a folder.
AlmightyRuler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a Logitech track ball mouse that I absolutely adore. I've used one for years now, even for gaming (which somehow infuriated my brother enough that he bought me a Razer mouse.)
I have watched several people, both American and Chinese, attempt to use my mouse...by actually moving the mouse. Even after I carefully explain that they just need to move the ball with their thumb. Every time is still as hilarious as the first time.
m4ple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was in my business class and I had just finished my project. I was bored and decided to go to hackertyper.net to mess about and pass the time. One of friends thought it'd be funny to shout out "He's hacking the mainframe!" and the teacher ended up giving me detention. This is the same teacher who would call the schools IT to turn monitors back on.
elvencastiel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once rang my darling mother (on her cellphone) to catch up and she told me that their street had a power cut so that's why she hadn't called me earlier. Not because her phone had no battery or anything, but because "well the router isn't working cos of the power cut, so we haven't got any wifi at the moment". Mother, two things. I am on the phone to you RIGHT NOW during the power cut. And you, unlike me, grew up with telephones before the invention of the internet. I think she managed to convince herself that everything still worked on dial-up for one mind-blank moment. I haven't stopped teasing her about it when I ring her...
Patches67 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
First year taking adminstration assistant in college. More than half the class was completely computer illiterate. A whole damn generation of idiots whose only experience in electronic use was their smart phones and nothing else.
Retro-Squid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife's parents have, on more than one occasion, printed off a document they have received in an email, given it to my wife for us to scan in so we can email it off to somebody else for them...
ArsenicBaseball ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother using internet explorer in 2015 as her default browser.
bigmacman40879 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was with friends trying to pick a location for our fantasy football draft. Had a friend ask "is your house computer compatible"?
tcarr20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Went to a school for animation, old art lady wanted to learn new age art. She saved out a rendered jpeg as her 3d file instead of .max or whatever it was. She was really arrogant, otherwise I could of felt bad for her atleast.
blueamigafan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My supervisor at work asked me where the exclamation mark is on the keyboard, I have no idea how this person is my supervisor, we work in a tech company that builds gaming machines for casinos that have standard pc tech inside
coeusclark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in tech now and used to manage tech support in college. Just found out my wife of 13 years, who is decently tech literate, uses only Save As and had no idea each time it created a new document.
I always wondered why she had hundreds of different named documents containing the same thing, but just figured she had some crazy naming convention.
washoutr6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:47:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The monitor is broken!
Umm no ma'am you just put a post-it over the power button and forgot how to turn it on.
My 3.5 floppy is broken!
Umm no sir you glued the door shut because you thought it shouldn't move.
My monitor makes crackling noises every morning!
Ma'am you need to move that plant above your monitor, water is dripping into your monitor when you water it every morning.
Every time I move my chair my computer shuts down!
Ma'am you're kicking the power button on the power strip under your desk. I'll move that for you.
d3ad_sub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:51:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of our senior management in work can't grasp the concept of switching applications. Instead of switching back to an already open application, she will proceed to open an entirely new instance every single time. As in, she will have almost 100 instances of Outlook, Word, Excel open, inevitably crashing the PC.
This has been explained to her multiple times yet she continues to do it.
manue007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My (now) husband, then in college, was finishing his last project ever. I was watching TV. He just started to scream and swearing a lot.
I Come in to check on him, since he's screaming in rage (and probably agony and pain too) and I dare to ask him what's up. He tells me that all his 30+ page work due the next day is all gone. I ask him if he tried to edit is text, the font or whatever and he tells me no.
He managed to trow his chair (and proceeds to make a huge hole in the wall) so he goes out to get calmed down, and I take a look at his project...
It turns out he managed to change the size of the page and the font to make it fit in one single page. I change the font and paper size and it all came back OK.
He finally had a pretty good note too๐!!
MyKidsArentOnReddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in the 90s people constantly came to me asking about buying a new hard drive, because they were getting "out of memory" errors.
nubitz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An older gentleman who's new computer had the ability to send a fax directly from what was on screen... And him, holding a sheet of paper to the monitor yelling "SEND FAX, SEND FAAAAAX!"
Dippypiece ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not really illiterate but this made me laugh.
My nanna who's 96 , still going strong the old girl.
I was round her house the other day and my wife brought her laptop in with her as she had been to work and she needed to charge it.
The laptop was on at the time and we said we were just quickly going to pop down the shops. My nanna said
" what you doing with that?"
"With what?" I said
"THAT!" Nan shouts pointing at the laptop.
"Leaving it here to charge" I say.
"No no I don't want it in here" she says
"Ok why?" I ask.
" I don't trust it , put it in the other room " she said.
With that we did. So random.
Lifeisagreatday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 24 but Have somehow turned out to be quite computer illiterate myself.
I was working in a law firm and I called the tech team because my letters were not printing on letter headed paper.
Turns out I filled all drawers with plain paper.
thedotmack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at an Apple Store and someone asked me if they could check their email. They asked me how to get on the Internet and I said you just click this icon, they responded "What is 'click'"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some of us can relate: teachers constantly reminding us to use Internet Explorer
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend was into playing Farmville (some kind of game where you grow stuff and expand your farm) a lot at one point and she would regularly log in to play when her mom was around. She once has her laptop speakers on and one of the cows "mooed" aloud. Her mom looks at the screen over her shoulder and was flabbergasted as to how animals could get into and live inside such a flat machine..
SonicSlothGames ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Real estate woman's computer would not turn on. She picks up the mouse and shakes it from side to side to encourage it to work.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My ex-co-workers constantly, even after being shown how to do it cmd+c cmd+v, to highlight and right click to copy then right click to paste. On client calls, where we were supposed to Technical Account Managers. If someone who was supposed to be technical couldn't figure out hot keys showed me something I'd ask for a new rep.
Endulos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Way back in the day, my Mom and I were doing... Something on the PC. I don't really remember WHAT program it was now, but it crashed. And since this was Windows 95 it popped up with the "THIS PROGRAM HAS PERFORMED AN ILLEGAL OPERATION" message.
My Mom saw the "ILLEGAL OPERATION" part and proceeded to flip the fuck out and start raving that the police were on the way and demanded I shut the computer down. She absolutely REFUSED to listen when I said it was just the program performing in a way the computer doesn't like, not an ACTUAL felony.
She called the store where we bought the computer and he told her the same thing I told her. She at least believed him.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad seems to think that learning how to use a PC on a basic level is some amazing feat that would require 16 trillion phds
Chexfactory0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The CEO of the company I work for typing emails with one finger, no punctuation and everything abbreviated. "thx u send it 2 me"
Signal_Maintainer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work tech support right after high school for HP and eventually road runner high speed internet. I feel like I have two worthwhile customer calls to share.
HP owner calls in, "hello yes my computer is broken I think, I've got nothing on the screen and the brain won't turn on" I get it out of her that the brain is the tower finally so I ask her to try all the buttons on the front of the tower and see if any of them work. Nope, nothing, she says. Oh maybe you do have a broken tower I'm thinking. So I ask her to get the serial number off the back of the tower so I can set up a return equipment order and she says "oh hold on a second dear, I'm gonna have to go get a better flashlight, the power's out here and it's too dark behind this desk" .....
Road runner customer calls in, "hey so, i just signed up for internet with you guys, how do I get YouTube and stuff" damn, I think, a really old person literally knows nothing about this and this is going to take forever. I figure I may as well know what kind of computer he has before we get started so I can pull up my Windows / Mac simulator thing we used, so I ask him what brand of computer he has and he says Panasonic. That strikes me as odd but hey maybe Panasonic sold computers in the U.S. (I live in Canada). I ask him to start by clicking on the Windows logo in the bottom left corner of the screen "yeah I can't find that, what are you talking about, there's nothing to click on" so I realize I need to start at the very beginning and say "sir could you please power up your computer" his response - "computer? My buddy told me I don't need a computer, it's cable internet" turns out he just screwed a coax from the wall into his tv and bought a wireless keyboard and mouse and was ready to go, or so he thought.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:21:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that friend is either a terrible person or was dying in the other room from laughing so hard
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone downloading ram
Kilessi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for an the online banking department for The Royal Bank of Scotland back in the day when online banking was still relatively new. Received a call from an old women who could understand why she could not see her deposited funds in her account after claiming to have issued a deposit. Layer into the conversation while trying to piece things together we had to explain that she couldn't feed the CD-Rom drive money and expect it to feed through to here bank..
dogder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait Gerry, every time you want to check your email you open Alta Vista and type 'Please take me to Yahoo mail.' People like you don't deserve the Internet!
goofball_jones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A long time ago, with the advent of Fax software (kids, ask your grandparents what a fax is). People were confused with how to use it, and there were cases of people claiming that they held their typed out form up to the computer screen, and hit "fax", but nothing happened. Not sure if this was true, but I would hear about it from several different people.
One thing I witnessed first hand was someone trying to use a mouse. This was in the days when mice had balls in them that rolled around (again, kids ask your grandparents), and I saw one guy hold the mouse in his hand, upside down, and was using the mouse-ball with his thumb...and not very well.
mamadubba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We used to have computer training classes at work, walked by the classroom and saw this lady waving the mouse around in the air. When she wanted to move the cursor sideways she did it on the desk, for up and down she moved it up and down in the air. I watched her trying for several minutes until the teacher noticed and corrected her.
butsuon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So, my dad worked for Apple for a while as tech support. Apparently there was some commercial where the MacBook or something was shown underwater/floating in water or something along those lines and a week after the commercial airs he gets this call...
"Hey, does the MacProduct work underwater like in the commercial?"
"Uhh, no, putting the computer in water will break it."
"HEY DUDE GET THE COMPUTER OUT OF THE TUB! Thanks dude, bye."
DrPinus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the mid 90s I was in high-school, sitting in basic computer ed class. The class was held by a repurposed English teacher in her 50's. We were learning all about the mystical inner workings of Microsoft Works (it doesn't).
At one point, one of the girls sitting next to me had a technical problem. Remember, this is the 90s; if you weren't computer literate, everything wrong was a virus.
"Huh", the girl said. "I think I might have a virus."
"A VIRUS?!?!" shrieked our teacher, overhearing the forbidden Word (Works?). She vaulted over her desk, ran over to the nearby wall and ripped open an electrical closet. Without hesitating for a moment and with the lightning speed of a 28.8 baud modem her arm reached in and flipped the main power switch.
Everything went out. The computers, the lights. We sat in near darkness in stunned silence doing our best Travolta gif impression, years before it existed.
Whether there was a standing order to immediately cut power if a computer virus was suspected or if this was her own idea I will never know. I like to think that in her mind, the insidious virus was snaking throughout the school network, and only her immediate and decisive action saved the world from a Terminator scenario. It still won't bring my essay back from the digital grave.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:18:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
tbh I blame those shows that show PC's as a terrifying thing that if you leave it for a second they hack your baby into some baby terminator
DrPinus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not gonna lie, I'd watch that show.
Squixzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother said PS4 is better than PC because "It has a bigger screen"
Blueslime17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The typical person over the age of 45 at the grocery store struggling helplessly to use the self-checkout computer as well as the same person trying to drive using a GPS.
dethpire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was sent on a call once for a broken monitor. The user showed me to his machine and I went about my usual troubleshooting steps for a broken monitor. I turned the monitor on and went under the desk to check the connections before it warmed up, because I assumed it would show nothing. Whilst I was under the desk I heard "How did you fix it?" To which I responded "What do you mean?"
Turns out that the user had been without a computer for over a week because he didn't turn on his monitor. I felt so bad charging him.
Chronogos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A person in his late 20s who typed one letter at a time with one finger
bbuuuu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my dad be like "were the fuck is the s key, oh there it is" also doesn't know how to copy and paste links despite being shown many times
I_Am_Dynamite6317 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was helping an old boss move files from one computer to a new one. Had a yahoo mail account and was concerned about losing his email so he insisted that i put the yahoo mail shortcut link from his desktop into a folder so he could put it on a flash drive
Luke90210 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone at work couldn't locate the desktop power button and kept pressing the Dell logo.
Rarylith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My father have still difficulties to understand that he can read his email on any internet connected computer/phone in the world instead of just reading them on a particular device.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in an IT-Department and we get allot of cases. Theres this one lady that comes in from time to time as a therapist, she can never find the "on" button on her pc, her excuse, she has a mac at home.
skuyum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Muy mom thought I was the one changing the Google doodles as I did with the wallpaper
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"Over the phone with my Mother"
Me: okay mom go to www.yahoo.com, type that in that address bar.
Mom: nothing is happening, it says it cant find webpage.
Me: "your internet is working right?"
Mom: yes
Over an hour of this trying to help her get to Yahoo.com getting a little frustrated.
Me: Okay Mom read me back every letter your typing?
Mom: W-W-W-D-O-T-Y-A-H-O-O-D-O-T-C-O-M
Bonig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
This happened just last week: Instead of faxing a bill to my insurance to ask for coverage I sent a scan per e-mail. They apparently printed the attachment and faxed it to themselves. Then they sent a photocopy of the scanned, printed and faxed bill back to me complaining it was illegible and that they were therefore unable to handle my request.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Officemates borrowed my cable for charging. The cable came with my phone. She charged her phone and an app showed the power of brought in by her usb adapter/charger. She returned the cable with her conclusion:
Officemate: "Yup, your cable really came from the manufacturer!" Me: "What made you say that?" O: "Because the ampere showed on my phone is maxed out" M: "You do know that the charge is coming from the charger, not from the cable, yes?" O: "So that's why I'm getting the same results with my other cables..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Officemate proudly informed me about her discovery that her smartphone was able to transfer files over wifi while her SIM is not plugged.
yancey15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My co worker had a faulty monitor which needed to be changed by the IT team. She asked them to transfer her desktop arrangement and files to the new monitor.
baevar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This video
Karlo_Made ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My old manager using a excel template, every slight mistake she would close the program, click "do not save" and re open it just to try again...
orbb09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A few months ago at my retail job I changed the screensaver from the default Windows logo blinking around the screen to our logo blinking around the screen. My boss accused me of lutting a virus on the computer to spy on our customers transactions. I had to explain to her what a screensaver was and how I changed it.
sgtcolostomy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A copywriter was having problems with his mouse; he was adamant that the batteries needed replacing. When I went over to check it out, he was moving the wired receiver of the wireless mouse, not the mouse itself.
It was one of those Microsoft receivers, which had the caps lock, num lock, etc. lights on it.
Cantloginhere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Called to a house for broken CD. Pop the drawer out with a paperclip to find a 2.5 inch floppy disk inside.
sgtcolostomy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Switched the A and S keys on a colleague's keyboard (while he was AFK and his computer was locked). Upon his return, he kept getting his password wrong until the prank was revealed and his keyboard was 'fixed'.
cyphrack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad used the cd rom tray as a cup holder.
BuilderWho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I have a friend who shall go unnamed, a.k.a. Unnamed Friend or UF. He's a very smart person, always studying, but when it comes to tech, he's about as useful as a chimpansee.
So what he did was, he bought a new laptop. Fancy thing, don't remember the model, but that's not important. What is important is, one day he came to me in class (we were both in university) and said:
UF: BuilderWho, could you help me with something?
Me: Sure, what's up?
UF: Could you take a look at my laptop? Something's wrong with the battery, I have to plug it into the wall or it just shuts off.
Me: Sure, I'll take a look at it in the library.
So off we went, to the library during our break. I'd started to wonder what could be wrong, first trying to check if the battery was plugged in correctly (hard to get wrong, but you never know). So I pick up his laptop, and before I even turn it over I notice how light it is. I shake it a bit to be sure, turn it over, and lo and behold, no battery.
But it gets better.
Me: Well that's your problem, where's the battery?
UF: Isn't it in there?
Me: No it isn't. It's supposed to go here.
UF: What's it look like?
Me: A black bar the shape of this hole. Four gold coloured pins sticking out the side.
UF: Oh that thing! That's the battery?
Me: Yes. Where is it?
UF: I threw it into the bin at home.
Me: What? Why?
UF: I didn't know what it was, and it said 'explosion hazard' on the side, so I thought it was a bomb.
Me: You thought what? Well... maybe you can recuperate it. Just go home tonight and take it back out.
UF: Garbage pickup came this morning.
I just stared at him from that moment on. He was completely, utterly, without a doubt, dead serious. So to recap exactly how bad he fucked up:
He thought the battery of his laptop was a bomb, because of course they would package bombs with laptops.
He threw said bomb into the bin, rather than calling emergency services, which would've made an even better story.
He let said bomb, which he sternly believed was going to explode any moment, be picked up by garbagemen and thrown into the hydraulic compactor of their truck.
tl,dr: Friend thought the battery of his new laptop was a bomb about to explode. Threw it into the bin. Lets it get picked up by garbage disposal. Is surprised his laptop doesn't charge.
coope380 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Laughing because you can't even count the number of times Google is mentioned in this thread...Bing on the other hand has been mentioned (now) once
unguardedsnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Charger cable wasn't plugged in. Customer says, it won't turn on.
thebrainitaches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in web design. A client needed to send me some images for their website. I asked for them to be sent as jpg or png. I recieved an email with 10 images in a PowerPoint slideshow, and of course all the images were compressed to hell.
I called the customer and asked "Can you send them through as just images? Not in PowerPoint, just as an image file."
10 minutes later I got an email: 'Here you go, the ppt is attached, this time I saved with the' reduce file size' option, I hope that's what you wanted!'
I facepalmed for a moment, called back and asked for "Each Image File to be sent through individually, not grouped together in a PowerPoint, but just the images".
You can guess the result. After receiving 4 emails, each with a single PowerPoint presentation containing a single image (still compressed to hell) I gave up, and Google searched for the images they were trying to send (company logos) and just used those instead.
Sometimes I wonder if these customers knew there is more to life than PowerPoint.
Nostopyourewrong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i worked at a print shop, someone asked us if we could print an obituary, and I said sure just send it to us
she sent me a photo of it up on her computer from about 5 feet away from her computer on what seemed to be a flip phone.
munchies1122 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I apparently put a virus on the computer because I hooked up my phone to the stereo.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom thought she could download more memory.
SensationalSquid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandfather didn't like that the USB cable connecting his printer felt a little loose in the back of the computer so he decided to superglue the thing in and was then very angry that it then stopped working. He then proclaimed that "they don't make things to last anymore", he was convinced he could then take the printer back to the shop for a full refund despite me telling him the printer itself was fine.
peenegobb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey XXX your computer is running pretty slow today it must be because it's cloudy"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One time my mom was on Facebook, and she called me over, and showed me her computer, and said, "There's something wrong with Facebook! Can you change it back?"
I looked at it, and Facebook had just made it so pictures were displayed differently. I told my mom that I couldn't change it, and then she got angry at me, and grumbled.
I'M NOT MARK ZUCKERBERG, MOM.
PirateSpud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mentioned to my dad my phone was being slow. He said his computer was running slow, so it must be "the Internet".
It's worth noting that we lived 115 miles apart.
Also, he just got rid of dial-up like two years ago.
tednugget_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin called me once and informed me his pc blue screened and says press any key to continue... He wasn't able to find the any key... Sounds like a blonde joke, however, he is just simple minded and dumb
TheRealDJYM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I turned someone's pc onto higher contrast at work, if you haven't done this before hold - alt, shift and print screen then press enter.
It makes the colours on your screen go funny, they person comes back to her desk and asks what's up with her monitors. "ahh looks like your monitor has run out of ink" so the stupid person picks up the phone and calls our IT department to let them know her screen has run out of ink.
ivegotaqueso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not related to computers but to cell tech: Sometimes when I go to the old folks home to visit my g-ma, an old lady will come up to me with her phone (not a smart phone, but one of those older cell phones with the buttons), asking me how to adjust the ring volume or asking me to take it off silent, because sometimes their kids/grandkids will silence their phones without un-silencing it.
So remember people, if you go out with older people and fiddle with their phones to silence it, be sure to unfiddle what you fiddled, or you'll screw up their phone volume for weeks to come since they generally have no idea how to undo what you did.
Dutchan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A quick and easy one: Googling Google via Google.
PepelePeaux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in college, I did a project with this girl. Went to her dorm to get to work, she was drying up from a shower so I just sat at her desk to wait patiently. Her pc was on and her "trash bin" was full so out of habit I just emptied and remarked what I just did.
Next thing you know, the loudest scream I think I've ever heard and her ruining to the desk. I apparently deleted her "important documents" "all her favorite pictures ever" .....yeah.
Yah.....
ytref ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
pokemon go
patrickverbatum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my mom once could not find the power button. then yelled at me for treating her "like an idiot" when i pointed it out to her.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every single thing from this thread has led me to quit a job in the IT industry and instead focus on Arts. People just have so many expectations I'd rather not stress myself with them.
keepcalmandbecalm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:48:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure this will get buried, but what the hell. Back in college when we were learning C++. There was this guy who was always the wise cracking show it off. Whenever we finished writing a program for the day, the lab assistant allowed us to play on the computer. That involved racing games. Now the size of those games easily touched close to a gig of storage space.So imagine my amusement when I caught the guy trying to copy and paste the game icon on a floppy disc(1.44 Mob) blissfully smiling to himself. I just chuckled and moved on.
Koroioz-LoL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a powerpoint presentation in highschool. I did it last minute and all the pictures I used were saved as follows. Print Screen the image I googled. Paste it into paint and crop as necessary. I couldn't figure out why it took me 7 floppy disks to turn in a ~20 slide Powerpoint presentation until years later when thinking back how large some of those images must have been.
SeedyMexi69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not too bad, but an older person recently came into my work (work at a burger place) and her bank had emailed a bunch of barcode vouchers to their customers for this particular burger place. Bless her soul, she printed the entire email out (which took up about 3 pages of paper) even though that was useless because she needed to follow a link on the email to actually get to the barcode.
cmo2832 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:53:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, so I was taking an intro level computer software class at a community college in Richmond, VA. The school being in downtown Richmond, there were definitely a lot of people who didn't have the means to own their own computer.
It was probably the 2nd or 3rd day of class and we were having to go step by step on how to turn on a computer, open the start menu, things like that. No one was really taking it serious, including the instructor. He realized how ridiculous this was to most of us, but regardless we had to go through the steps.
He's got the projector up on the wall showing his computer screen, and when we finish the lesson he tells us to minimize the window on our screens. This older gentleman (50's) in the front raises his hand and asks how to do this, and some people laugh thinking he's joking, as people were making stupid comments throughout the lesson. The instructor didn't take him serious at first, and kind of laughed him off. Then the guy got embarrassed/pissed and had to have some other students show him where to click to minimize the window, and showed him how to pull it back up. Then he proceeds to have a little breakdown, probably feeling overwhelmed.
The instructor pulled him out into the hallway, they had a talk and he left. We didn't see him again, as I'm sure he had to go see a counselor and be placed in some type of remedial computer literacy course. I had a buddy in the class and we were talking about it afterwards and we both felt terrible for the guy, I've never seen someone so out of touch with technology.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My company charges hundreds of dollars an hour for me to drive 2-4hrs to reboot a computer. The system I work on is complicated but its controlled by simple PCs. The most common calls I get are basic questions like "is it plugged in?" "are you sure?" I cant tell you how frustrating it is to know you have to spend your whole morning going to a site for some middle school level crap. I can explain anything to anyone but there is a huge problem when the person on the other end doesn't want to even try to fix the problem. We had a guy fly in from 1000 miles away because a customer had a broken monitor. People are crazy sometimes. I guess we live in a crazy time when something I was proficient in high school is worth a million dollars a year.
Kitty_Wizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my ex's Nan, when trying to move the mouse, proceeded to pick up the mouse, and put it physically on the screen to move it. incredible to witness.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Using o instead of 0 and then wondering why the program isn't working.
mrramblinrose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had to teach a new coworker how to copy/paste. She must have lied in the interview because computer literacy is mandatory.
Camo252 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my computer studies course at uni (required for the degree I want to take), had one of the older computer illiterate women grab out her phone out to take a photo of the screen, she then passed on that little tip to the rest of the computer illiterate women, who all then proceeded to start taking photos of their monitor with their phones.
Also had one older lady not know how to make folders, and after being told how, still managed to stuff it up.
Instinct121 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've got a bunch, but the most stunning was when I was remotely supporting a user at their home over the phone and I was trying to walk them through connecting to our support website. I instructed them how to open the Internet browser and where to type the website address. I say "Now type www.", and they respond with "www -what?" "Dot", "What's a dot"?" "A period, a decimal point, the thing at the end of a sentence." "...uh" "The button is on the keyboard to the right of the comma" "..uh" <Chaos ensues, I can't get this person to find the key on their keyboard> I hear this person's 4 year old daughter in the background and ask to speak with her instead. I got it done in 2 minutes... :/
I couldn't believe someone didn't know what a period was, and couldn't find it on the keyboard.
Thedutchjelle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for a few months in a high school, one of those fancy ones that decided to replace all books with laptops.
They had an in-house repairshop and they were always overworked. God, I can understand why. To those saying children instinctively understand technology:
- Force shutdown the laptop if a program froze. I don't know what this does to the health of a computer, but at the very least it took fucking forever for them to find their schoolwork and launch all their crap once they had to do this, wasting a lot of time. They honestly did not know about ctrl+alt+del. What the fuck.
- When asked to draw biological systems and name them, one kid put a piece of paper on the laptop monitor and started to trace the outline he could see through the paper. His screen already had some pretty nasty damage.
- All "loan" laptops that were meant for students that had forgotten their own laptop were infested with over multiple viruses/malware (I had to use one and I refused to log in on anything, instead I spent sometime getting malware blockers :< )
- They lacked the general Google-fu to understand what links are worthless and which ones are not.
hexicat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my former students tried to turn on the computer (cpu) by pressing the on button for the monitor..
hogstralia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Colleague wanted to share what was on his iPad screen during a video conference. He started by trying to hold the iPad up to his webcam. When this proved unsuccessful, we suggested he use his iPad to take a screen grab and email it to us. 15 minutes later, we all received an email with a photo attached. It was pretty blurry but we could see that he had used the iPhone to take the photo, the photo was then emailed from his personal email to work email and then forwarded on to us.
allen-shika ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A guy seated next to me in my university's computer lab was typing a report in Microsoft Word. He was a really nice & friendly guy and his nickname was Hercules, as he was big into weightlifting. As he typed up his report, one of the words he entered wasn't spelled correctly, so he went to the spell checker to see his options. Instead of letting spell checker change the word to the correct spelling, he clicked 'Add to Dictionary' and was satisfied that by doing that and removing the squiggly red line, the word was now ok to include in the report. tl;dr: Nice guy, big muscles, small brain.
sense_make ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the word though, sometimes that's a viable thing to do. For exampe I often need to do it with obscure technical terms and some uncommon names.
bygdee23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was helping an older woman finish up her application for the job we had available. She was moving the mouse around and staring at the computer doing nothing. I went up and asked her if she was done or needed help..... she looked at me and said, "I can't find it." I asked "what do you need to find?", she said "the thing on the screen that moves when I move my hand"... she was looking for the mouse pointer. We had 2 monitors, and as the mouse went to the left screen she looked right, the mouse went right and she looked left. This was happening for 5 minutes until I helped her.
princhester ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
We had a babysitter who had her laptop with her when she turned up at our place. I offered to log her onto our wifi so she could use the internet. She said "yes thanks, but I don't have internet, I only need wifi for facebook".
I was a bit puzzled by this response but what the hell, so I logged her onto our wifi, and saw her open up a normal web browser with the home page set to facebook. I said "oh, you do have internet" and she said "no, just facebook". I pointed out that the browser she was using could access the internet but she just said "Oh, I don't want to use my computer for that weird hacking stuff, I just have facebook".
I didn't bother taking it any further.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
princhester ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She was a kind of dumb hippy chick but she was creative and arty and used to be quite good at keeping the kids entertained with painting and making stuff and so on.
I_Am_Ironman_AMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A little over 25 years ago, some guy at work picked up a mouse and used it like some kind of voice command thing. I was like "buddy, that ain't how this thing works!" I left before I had a chance to see him no doubt stumble his way though trying to type on the keyboard.
MendozaYouBojo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I went to community college, I was friends with the people who worked at the computer lab in the early 2000's. I spent a lot of time there between classes and witnessed some wild stuff. The thing that baffled me the most was when an older student stuffed a cd-rom into the empty space above the unused plastic panel of a pc tower you remove when adding a disk drive. They forced that fucker so far into the empty slit that we needed pliers to pull it out.
Isaac_Andreason ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin used to work at a tech support place. One time he got a call from a man who was having issues finding Norton security on his computer. Obviously my cousin's first question was if he put it on his computer to which the man responded yes. So my cousin remoted into his computer to search for the program himself. After going through every nook and cranny on the guy's computer and finding nothing, he starts to ask some more questions. He was finally able to deduce that the man had taken the box the install disc had come in and placed it on top of his tower.
Daltzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Googling google
IIISchizoidManIII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was told to teach an old ass chef how to do computer accounting. He had never touched one before and at one point put the mouse on the screen to try to click something. It was amazing. Imagine my fun with trying to teach someone who had never used a computer how to use a system of excel spreadsheets.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Working with an advertisement agency...
Designer sent an email with mockup graphics.
Later on sent an email with the question if we could send the image back so he could continue working on it.
Lexiconix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guy thought the cd drive was a cup holder... Yes it's true.
James-Ahh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As an IT-support you kinda witness everything possible and it's kinda hard to remember what's the most illiterate thing.
The angry bosses are the worst. They go shit crazy over the phone like "Get over here NOW!" The problem was he couldn't log into webmail because "Your shit is always broken. They never work." etc. etc. Went in and see why he couldn't log in. Let's call this angry boss person John. He had typed in "jhon@emailaddress". I kindly hinted that typing your own name is one of the first things you learn, but some struggle with it even today. That fuctard wasn't even apologizing about being a mad fuck at me for nothing.
Also one dude was super angry over the phone how I had brought him a broken display. I went to his office and I could see from the corridor that on his pretty much empty desk was his power plug lying down (unplugged). I confronted him and tried to look troubled as fuck over his impossible computer issue. He was phasing around nervous and looking at me angrily. I enjoyed the moment a little while then continued to ask him: "do you think your display would be a little less broken if we plugged the power cord?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am now at work where I take care of this autistic guy. Just a few minutes ago he threatened to sue the computer because it was behaving like, and I quote, "a dick and a pussy".
ThePenskeFile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Woman at the post office using both hands while using a mouse, one was guiding it, the other hand was doing all the clicking
earl_of_carlisle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My 7th grade, primary school teacher was calibrating the new interactive whiteboard in our class room for use with her laptop. As she's going through the steps it prompts her to touch four points that are displayed on the screen. So, she proceeds to press with her finger four points that are on her laptop. The laptop did not have a touch screen.
HappyHitman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I double clicked the link to this thread.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One time I was trying to explain something to a customer. I spent 30 minutes writing up detailed (but very step by step) instructions for how this user could use our forums functions when writing there (this also involved essentially explaining the basics of html coding). Even after all my hard work they didnt understand (English was not their first language) and they blammed me for it. They then called me a bunch of names and said that I was acting superior to them.
Ohh right forgot to mention what it was that I spent all this time explaining - it was how to fix their quotations on a forum website (if they accidentally deleted some of the coding). Everything I had told them previously had failed to register so I just wrote up as straightforward explanation as I could. Still did not register.
vildand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
First time my mom used a mouse I told her that it's movement reflected on the screen, so she lifted it up..
lcafard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I witnessed my grandpa trying to copy a file to another machine. He went to the file and clicked copy, unplugged the mouse and plugged it into the second computer, and tried to click paste on that second computer but it was greyed out.
JJ_The_Diplomat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:08:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work outsourced tech support for multiple ISPs back in the day. One day I got a call from a dial up (yes, dial up) customer who said she suddenly couldn't get online after no issues for 5 years. We did all the standard troubleshooting and after multiple calls still couldn't resolve the issue. She was on a Mac and swore she hadn't touched any cables, but finally I had her just tell me what was plugged in to her computer. She said her power cable and the keyboard cable (this was on one of the old school iMacs).
I told her that's impossible, that there must have been a phone cord plugged in at some point for her to have had internet. She swore up and down she'd touched nothing. I finally had her list me the icons at the top of her screen and found she had a wifi icon.
After some more troubleshooting and some questions about her neighborhood we finally determined that she'd been logging on to her neighbors' unsecured wifi for years and had lost internet only recently because her neighbors had moved away.
She'd been paying her ISP for 5 years for Internet and never used it once.
crypocalypse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:08:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a good one. My grandfather always claims he knows computers, and a lot of the time yes he is actually rather computer literate. In his spare time he even teaches elderly people how to do basic things like filing, excel, internet, etc. One of my biggest annoyances is how he handles anything relating to images, whether from an email or google images. His almighty go to function is this fucking thing called a snipping tool. I had to look up what he was going on about. Its basically a glorified print screen, or if your on mac the grab tool, and he uses that to save literally every image. He opens this snipping tool, makes his selection on screen, and saves the images that way... You know never mind about right-click save-as. My god it is painful to hear every time he mentions it. What is it with elderly people and disregarding the easier way to do things with computers.
boltactionmike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend was trying to figure out how to use an auxiliary cable to play music on a stereo from her phone. I told her "just plug it in and it will work". Several moments passed with no music so I asked her why she didn't put something on. She replied with "you said all I had to do was plug it in!" She had not actually put on any music, expecting the phone to play it for her.
WarConsigliere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone was in charge of submitting a group assignment for an MBA class. This was the first year that everything had to be uploaded and the systems were designed to take multiple media so there wasn't a prohibition against file sizes or types.
That person uploaded a copy of a Simpsons porn parody video instead of the group assignment. No-one else checked the upload to make sure that it was right.
The group was awarded a zero, meaning that they automatically failed the subject - which was a full-year course that cost $40K in fees.
killerjake12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to sell computers and along with the computers we try to upsell Microsoft office. At this point in time Microsoft Office came on a little cardboard card that you would enter the code in and unlock the program. well she cut out a circle in the middle of the card and pushed it into the disc tray of the laptop and then closed it and then came into the store complaining that her disk tray wasn't working after she tried install Microsoft Office. I had to walk away so she didn't see me laughing.
NotAnotherGhostShell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:12:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got called in after my work hours to help a teacher because she was having computer problems. I drive into work and they need to view this powerpoint presentation but cant seem to open anything. At this point they have an entire audience in the cafeteria waiting on this presentation. I start inspecting the computer to see whats going on and literally nothing would open.. not even the start menu. Turns out, the teacher had her purse on the table next to the computer and it was laying on part of the keyboard, holding down the ESC key on the keyboard. Moved the purse and just left without saying anything
jzolli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jason Bourne not turning off the Wifi and bluetooth on the laptop in the new movie
avartani ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember it like it was yesterday. I've always been computer savvy since I was a kid because I sat in my dad's lap when I was 4 and watched him work and played games with him.
In 7th grade I took a computer applications elective to further my knowledge of Microsoft Office. On the first day we sat in front of our computers and were handed a sheet of vocab words we were to explore.
There were some obvious ones like "Copy" and "Paste" but then I got to one I had never heard before, "Word wrap". I asked the girl sitting next to me and she didn't know what it meant either, so I went up to the teacher. For those of you who don't know, word wrap is when you reach the end of the line in a text-editor, like Microsoft Word, and it automatically jumps to the next line for you. I always considered this just a basic part of the program and not a "feature" per se.
I went back to my seat and told the girl next to me, and she replied with, "Oh that's just weird. That's ok, I'll just keep hitting 'return' at the end of the line." She was treating it like a typewriter.
I went up to my teacher again within seconds and said, "I'd like to transfer classes please."
Delta3D ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Saw a guy who thought because he could hold the power button to turn off the PC almost instantly, he thought the same worked to turn it on, so he just stood there holding the power button whilst having that sort of blank look on your face which just looks like "What the fuck am I doing".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:16:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was on monday. The document is in read only I can't print it. I have told this bloke ctrl+p, file print and even print screen. I eventually had to just move him out the way went to the file properties and then change it from read only. That is the senior office tech. He is IT I work in the warehouse. oh yeah I had to wait 4 months for a work email address. It is my name then company name.
meganukebmp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
These 2 guys in a store having problems with their store program thing. They were talking on the phone and trying to fix it by dictating everything that appears onscreen to the guy on the phone. I was just sitting there waiting for 10+ minutes to get a soda so I got really pissy. I asked them if I could help. I just ran the program in administrator mode and it worked like a charm.
Guys were downloading Norton and AVG through Internet Explorer to "fix" their program. They also had some of those "DLL fixer" and "PC speedup" programs. This is a machine that handles credit card transactions. It's just sad.
sooperfizzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I asked my sister if she wanted a hardware ad blocker on her router (after cleaning her laptop for the xth time) she answered she never has ads on her phone or laptop when browsing the internet.
CA1900 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My old boss (one of the partners) at a law firm I worked at would use his computer as a typewriter. He didn't know how to save, and was confused by the concept.
He would work on a document, sometimes for hours, without saving. When he was done with his draft, he would print it out and hand it to his secretary, so she could retype it with proper formatting.
Yes, I'm serious.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I finished a website for an elderly restaurant owner. Having asked him to refresh the screen to see the updated website, he turned his computer off and then back on, saw no change and informed us that the website remained the same.
Oh and witnessing someone double click a URL to a video, having it open in two separate tabs, then closing the entire window because "the video was glitching."
whtml ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:23:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Summer job i worked at: Printing out like 50 pages of excel tables, correcting it by hand and handing the stack to me to "fix" it in the actual file. The amount of people you could replace in your average office if you just hired people with a brain..
hopsinduo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:25:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"OK, just move your mouse to the top of the monitor". I then watch my aunt place the actual mouse on top of the monitor and say "and what next?"
sisteryoung ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:25:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friends dad asked me to help him edit his resume, but was having trouble pulling it up. After several minutes I walked over to the computer to see what was up, and he had Google open and was looking through the various search results for "dad's resume".
saturnfig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
High school history teacher types "www.google.com" into chrome, proceeds to search for YouTube then copies YouTube's URL into the address bar from the search results... At least he was using Chrome.
thomasthekiefengine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So I work in IT for a Wealth Management firm and I had recently deployed a new CRM application into production and I was on the phone with a CRM consultant explaining how it needed to be installed.
Me: "so the app will install when users log out, and on their next login, a configuration script will run and it will be installed and setup all done"
Him: "so to test, should I just shut down?"
Me: "shutdown? No I said log off..."
Him: "right, but how can it install if the computer is off?"
Me: "no, you're not listening, it installs while the user is at the login screen. You know, that screen that says 'press Ctrl-Alt-Del to log on'"
Him: "oh I see, so I should restart?"
So turns out I was speaking with a guy who had worked in IT for 10+ years and didn't know how to log off without shutting down.
Unleashamillion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom getting mad at me for opening a new tab on her computer. She thought I deleted her emails.
Phototos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:28:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The guy in the office next to me asked me for help, said the @ symbol was jumping around on his keyboard. He didn't realize he needed to use the shift key. He said he usually emailed from his phone. How he made it this far, mind boggles me.
SartorialEloquence ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for an IT Service Desk Manager who was clueless when it came to computers.
When she got a dialog box pop up she would use the mouse to position the pointer over the option she wanted, but rather than click the button on the mouse to activate the selection she would hit the Enter key on the keyboard - activating whatever the default option was. So when what she wanted was the default choice there was no problem, however if it wasn't the default she would log a job and get her computer serviced or replaced. She was the Service Desk Manager!
She also was a horrible bully. She had one of the consultants reprimanded for deleting emails without reading them. The consultant was reading them in preview view (Outlook), and then deleting them but the read receipt was reporting that she had deleted them without reading. I realised straight away what had happened so I went in and demonstrated it, but nope, it didn't matter.
I taught all staff about read receipt settings from then on - especially how to deactivate them.
NineUlmleven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most iPhone users
Cristronica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom uses the DVD reader as a coffee cup holder.
slashystabby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
First: Computer mouse on the screen to move the pointer, no that's not how it works. Second: "I've run out of space on the mouse pad, how do I click on that bit of the screen?"
anothersleeps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my lecturers once closed chrome (which opens automatically on their computers, I'm guessing for this reason) to open internet explorer to Bing search Google to search Gmail to check his emails.
In a different lecture he also called in tech support to put a DVD on
trautna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
had a client who "deleted google". he only changed the firefox start page
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of our secretaries once actually asked me where the "ANY" key was on the keyboard.
For real.
50thStateOfMind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:32:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Turning the Caps Lock button on, pressing the letter, then turning it off after. Holding Shift + the letter didn't make sense to them for making a capital letter. Imagine my frustration while watching them type a long email.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:33:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had a similar conversation in the pub the other day and my mate that did tech support got a call saying their cup holder had broken. He was a bit bemused, as the office didnโt provide any sort of cup holder, but maybe they did and he and he wasnโt aware? The guy with the broken cup holder couldnโt really elaborate any further past โI press the button for the cup holder and it doesnโt workโโฆ anyway, tech support check out the cup holder only to realise the dude was talking about the computerโs CD tray he had been using to place his cup of tea.
Missmachineee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:34:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was in the 90's and it was my grandma, so I'm not sure it counts. But my 80 year-old grandma got super into genealogy, which had been made accessible via the Internet pretty easily. She used to get on the Internet all of the time to look at it. Anyway, one day, I hear her yelling for me to come and help her. She was freaking out, talking all of this nonsense about a wallpaper store on the browser, and how they were tricking her into buying all of the wallpapers for the house and she was scared she accidentally bought some. I was thinking, 'well, that's an odd pop-up ad'. She frantically moves away from the computer so I can check it out, and I find out she's just been perusing the desktop display settings looking at wallpapers.
Alundra828 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:34:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Tech support here. Things that always astonish me is the way users will send you a screenshot.
All us tech support workers know that its a case of prtscn, and then paste. Or alt-prtscn for a single window and then paste. Simple as, done.
But after we received this image... we knew the customer had fucked up. We work on a support log system, and we aim to close all logs within a day. A user logged a call about a real vague and nebulous problem. So we asked for a screenshot. 5 working days went past, so we closed the log as the customer did not respond to any of our chases.
A week later, the log gets reopened. The customer shouts at us down the phone as to why this hasn't been done yet and how it's super urgent. We explained that nobody here received any screenshot after one was requested. He then goes onto explain how he did send one, he went off on some rambling marathon for a few minutes and then hung up the phone.
1 day passes, and we receive a letter addressed to support. (We never received letters.) Inside however, was an SD card. So we put it on a off the grid box just in case it was digital anthrax and lo and behold it was their screenshot. Now, let me explain as best I can the only way this screenshot could have been taken, as she explained how she did it later on.
The customer, got the problem up on her screen, took a photo with her poor quality phone, emailed it to her repographics team, they printed it on some glossy ass paper, sent it to another department for them to digitize, they digitized it, and then saved it as a .gif. They then emailed it back and forth (the email trail was about 17 emails long) until they just gave up and mailed it to IT. Their IT put this one image onto a 64GB SD card, and then sent it back to the customer in question. She then mailed this SD card to us and did not pay postage.
The great thing is that the screenshot was way too low quality for us any human operating on the visible spectrum of light to make out. Turns out after an hour of trying to coax all the details out of her on the phone after witnessing this train wreck, it was user error. And solved within 10 seconds.
The amazing thing is, that this has gone through multiple people. Multiple departments in buildings miles away from each other, and nobody though 'this is fucking stupid'. We reckon it was just to take the piss out of her at this point.
violent_nihilism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When i was younger, i asked my mother to shut down my pc. She did, but it seemed to be permanent. After sending it to a pc repair shop, they found out that she somehow had shut down one single harddisk(and not even the one with the os on it). I have no idea how she did it by accident.
The_Kolbinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a computer store, and a lady brought in her first generation iPad. She was looking to purchase a new case for her device, but I informed that we haven't carried gen 1 iPad cases for awhile, and that none of our cases would fit.
Looking very confused and frustrated she said "But I updated my operating system! Shouldn't the new cases fit!?!?!"
caren811 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:36:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandfather came over the house complaining he wasn't feeling well. He was convinced he had the Michelangelo virus.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:36:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in high school I asked my friend where the Desktop was.
๐ฌ
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:36:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think I got one.
All right, this is a story about a girl named Trish and her mother named Kathryn (Not real names of course). Trish was obsessed with downloading ROMs for emulators and playing Runescape while Kathryn was a facebook addict. One day, a trojan gets into their anti-virus-software-free laptop and starts slowing everything down tremendously, because according to them "paying for anti-virus software is pointless"
They argued as to why the computer had a virus, Trish blaming Facebook for the virus and Kathryn blaming Runescape for the virus. I was 14 when I checked it out it out. Turned out it was from the ROM website (DopeROM). After installing AVG (it wasn't cancer back then) and getting rid of them, I was done. The laptop blue-screened about a week later. They of course, argued and blamed Facebook and Runescape respectively. I asked them what they changed on the computer.
"THAT THING YOU DOWNLOADED WAS A VIRUS AND BROKE THE COMPUTER, SO I DELETED IT (AVG Anti-virus)"
Me being 14, I didn't know what to do. They took it to a friend who figured out that it was from a worm and that the RAM card was fried, so instead of letting the dude put a new ram card in it, they told him "Don't bother; it's too much work."
wozzy93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
New kid at my job. He's 19? I think. I told him to save an excel file and email to me. What did I get? A word document with directions on how to get to the excel file. My Documents>Reports>2016>Which ever day it was.
I mean shit. Common.
Clank1056 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother tried installing Itunes on his windows 8, not only did he click a random google search link, he clicked every download button in sight, keep in mind he was about 17-18 at the time, still not knowing basics of internet downloads, i spent hours trying to clean his computer
konfetkak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to teach intro to computer classes in the late 90s/early 2000s. There was one lady who would always come in and not have her assignments saved to a disk. My mom asked if she kept the disk in a safe place, to which the woman replied, "yes! I keep it on the fridge with a big magnet!" There was also another woman who didn't know how to use a mouse...she held it in the air.
The_Relay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:40:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Scanned photos of family trees on a computer screen that he had developed and sent the scanned copies via mail to a friend/relative.
FreshSalsaYo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:40:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work at staples. A woman called in and said she bought a computer redently and there is no power button. She got mad when I tried directing her to the power button over the phone, walked in to the store and demanded she spoke to a manager. Without calling a manager over, I turned the computer on and told her I was the one she spoke on the phone with. It was exactly where I told her it should be. On the keyboard base, all the way up in the left corner. She screamed at me and walked out. She was in her late twenties-early thirties.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A guy said things like "the eye can only see 45fps, any higher is undetectable" and "computers aren't better than consoles at video gaming"
Filthy console peasant
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Friend bought a computer because he thought they "automatically" come with internet, complained it is broken when his browser couldn't open Google. he had no idea he need an internet connection. this was back in 2003.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:43:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People who complain about not knowing enough to even begin how to operate Windows, yet refusing to even consider a MAC, because they "don't know about that Apple."
UniqueUserName2017 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:44:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin's grandma picked up the mouse and said "it won't go up!" Hovering it in the air
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Told my mom I needed more RAM, and I shit you not she asked where I could download it.
Blackstone01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma was going to put the old computer we had at her house in the closet to make more room in the back room. So to separate the computer screen and the computer, she cut the cable.
ImRefleex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandfather (about 75 years old) once put WD40 into his laptop because he thought it'd fix a problem with the computer (it was either a sound problem or it's start up time), but it ended up making things worse. This was a modern laptop too.
kevpool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once told my grandmother to click the mouse over a certain icon. She picked the mouse up and pressed it against the screen.
as-we-speak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:47:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad didn't know 'undo' was a thing.
He's passionate about cars, and he often fiddles with designs on a copy of Photoshop his 'computer whizz' friend gave him.
He'd zoom in all the way and painstakingly draw pixel by pixel when adjusting his drawings.
One time, he made a mistake, and let out a groan of frustration. Instead of undoing the mistake, he drew over it with the underlying color, thereby 'erasing it'. I promptly grabbed the mouse from him, and proceeded to draw a giant scribble all over his sketch; he nearly fell out of his chair in disbelief. While he was still in a state of shocked silence, I cooly clicked the undo button and, just like that, the scribble disappeared. Mind. Blown.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a plastics factory in the 80s, and this odd looking gay couple walk in to see my boss. The pudgy one in a turtleneck proceeds to pick up the mouse and talk into it like a microphone. Idiot.
bectayl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When my Pop told me "I lost me google! Can you get me another one?!"
Google Chrome no longer supported Windows Vista ๐
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was about 5 or 6 I was at my Grandma and Granddad's house and I asked my technophobic Grandma if I could go on my tech savvy Granddad's computer. Unfortunately he was out at the time so I asked my Grandma to switch it on because I couldn't reach the on button. She said to me "I'm sorry, but I don't know how to switch it on, it's too complicated for me.". This was an early 2000s PC with a huge on button with the on logo printed on the button itself.
winsinnia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When a classmate needed help setting up an e-mail address, when we live in Australia and it was written in plain English.
PM_Me_Rude_Haiku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a long and convoluted phone conversation with a guy who needed to install some software my company provided. It was back in the days of distributing software by CD, and he needed to kick off the installation manually.
"Step one - just double click on 'My Computer' please"
"How the bloody hell am I supposed to click on your computer?"
It was possibly the longest phone call in the history of telephony.
losangelessam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
when I was a kid I went over to my friends house. they had just got a new top of the line XP that day. I remember his mum grabbing the mouse and putting it on the screen and moving it round to control the computer.
InuKaT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:54:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On the first day of grade 10 Computer Science class, the teacher asked "What are some examples of an operating system?".
Of course, people listed different versions of Windows, Mac OS, Linux and some phone operating systems.
He eventually picked on a female student because only male students were answering and she responded with: "Apple?" When the teacher shook his head she changed her answer to "Microsoft".
cmeehan509 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:15:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Redditerino77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:55:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My business teacher in highschool said my friend put a virus on the computer because he downloaded Firefox
scottharman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure this will have been covered but I used to work with a guy - took me a disturbingly long time to work out why all his emails and documents were riddled with errors - but whenever he used spellcheck he would choose 'add' with all errors! It took us such a long time to work it out as nobody had the patience to watch over his shoulder to work out what he was doing
crystalgecko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I got my second computer, Mum decided to give the old one to my grandparents (who are savvy enough to know how to use their remote controls for both their cable box and TV) so they could use email to contact far away family.
After going over the basics with them and being impressed with how quickly they caught on to it all, my Grandmother comes out with:
"Ok, so how often does it need new [ink]?" the word she used was colour
There was no printer, she was talking about in the monitor.
Hilary_Priest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
when i can't log into the game and but Internet is works good. that thing make me sad every time when i face that problem.
WOODIE1088 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A guy in work who always gives us trouble asked to borrow a laptop for a presentation. He came back 10 minutes into his meeting complaining that the USB end of the mouse was too big for the laptop and insisted we give him another. We gave him one to get rid of him but seriously; it is a usb ffs
WOODIE1088 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:10:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The same guy another time need one of us to show him how to put a cd into a generic desktop. He figured out how to eject the disc tray but didn't know what to do from there. He tried to push the disc in under the tray while forcing the tray back in.
token2k8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in Iraq every morning around 8 am they would shut down the generators so we would lose power for about 10 - 15 minutes. So one morning this Lt Col (shit I forgot the abbreviation it's been so long) walks in during that downtime and complains he can't access his outlook and his emails won't update. I'm sitting in a big ass office in the complete dark as well. I look at him and said, "Sir, the fucking power is off, this happens every damn morning, how stupid are you.". He hung his head and walked out my shop.
Aphex93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guy at work accidentally closed a window and then asked me what to do because he thought he deleted the whole program.
Chris_RandomNumbers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A team at my last place collectively thought that Google Earth was a 'live' view. They logged an IT support call asking for someone to help them 'move the satellite about'.
(To be fair to them, what they wanted to do was probably quite achievable (although bear in mind this was back before Street View) but only because Google Earth was such a hugely comprehensive application)
load231 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We design documents like packing slips and invoices. Just recently there was this one guy who wanted us to make changes to this invoice he handed to us. It was one he received from a 3rd party. It wasn't a document we design and he sends out, it was one he received from a completly different company. What are people thinking how this works?
Megafish40 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Go to /r/talesfromtechsupport
Helpimstuckinahole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At work my boss decided it would be a good idea to start emailing bills out to clients instead of posting them the old fashioned way because it would save time, paper etc. The solution? Have one of the office girls print off all the accounts, scan them back on to the computer and email them as an attachment. It would take her about 2-3 days each month to do it all this way. They did this up until very recently
Creator13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandpa buys a new SD card for his camera every time an old one is full. He doesn't empty them, at best he copies the files to his computer (actually, I do that for him). He even writes the name of the photo set on the wiring space on the card (like France 2015 or something). Looking story short, he treats SD cards like those old film rolls.
stickyfingers40 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a computer issue but I had an elderly co-worker once as for my help because his calculator wasn't working. We both had a good laugh when I pointed out he was punching numbers into his telephone
Moast13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Recently, I saw a woman on a little machine in a store that you could upload photos to and then crop before printing. She was trying to print out photos she found funny on Facebook, but instead of screenshotting them she had taken a photo with her phone of her entire monitor then manually cropped every single photo she had taken before printing them.
As funny as it was, it was so sweet to see her determination in trying to print off photos
Owen81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
About ten years ago when I worked in an electronics department I had an old lady ask if a computer game came on vhs.
penguinrider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Way back in high school, like in 2000, I offered to help one of my parent's friends upgrade their operating system. She had a tower desk top and decided she was going to insert the disk before I got there to save time. Well instead of opening the cd tray, she thought it was front loaded and jammed the CD in between the drive bays. It fell into her computer and melted over the components. It was completely ruined.
Brovinist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:10:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My sister's friend tried to resize the pictures on her digital camera by using the "format" option.
When she had another problem with the camera, she refused to let me take a look at it because I "might break it".
mrkno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:11:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The new Bourne film.
888888Zombies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:15:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like, with a piece of cloth or something?
GirafficParts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:16:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know I'm late but this story is a standby of mine and it has to be posted.
My grandmother is hardly a computer person and she uses me as her support staff when the need arises. I usually don't mind helping her because the issues that arise are always pretty simple and she feeds me for my trouble.
On a particular occasion i was setting up her router and changing her settings to not broadcast the SSID. A friend of hers had heard about people being able to gain entry to your using the SSID and was very concerned, missing the point of a wireless router entirely.
After I finished she hopped on her email to let her friend know she was now safe. This is where things got interesting...
As she finished sending her email she saw the notification that she had unread email. ..
She closes the window. She opens a new window. She types in the address for her email service. She relogs into her email. She opens the first unread email. She repeats 15 times with me watching in horror the entire time.
That poor woman had been doing that for eleven years...
Dragonrooster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:16:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reading this thread makes me want to punch someone in the face
DayOfDecimato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:17:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An elderly relative of mine was out on his farm and I was with him and he wanted me to search for something online, so he pointed to my phone and asked me "have you got computer on that?"
snappyirides ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:20:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wat.
DayOfDecimato ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:29:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He meant have I got google, or any search engine on my phone.
nerotNS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:19:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was called in to a friends house to check why their monitor wasn't getting a picture, and it displayed check signal cable all the time. They assured me that they connected the cable and that they don't understand what's wrong. When I came to their place, I saw that both ends of the VGA cable were plugged in the PC (one in the onboard connector on the motherboard, the other end was in the GPU), and that the only cable connected to the screen is the power supply...
Orafferty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:20:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You see?! The darn thing just won't turn on. I think it's the hard drive." She was trying to turn on just the monitor, & it wasn't even plugged into the wall either.
stenetronic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:21:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised this isn't already here it's not a specific story, but something I witness frequently among people who should know better... People who don't know when to double click or single click. I'm 22 and I see this all the time with my co-workers who are in their early 30s. Usually they just double click everywhere and wonder why there's so many draft emails or why they have multiple Windows open of the same program. Confusion only ensues when they click on the wrong window and wonder why their work disappeared.
CamIsTrippy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:22:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This guy at my work didn't know the computer had an undo button until I showed him.
CHEESE_PETRIL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:22:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't actually witness it, but the first time my mum used a fax machine (early 90s I think) she couldn't figure out how to roll the piece of paper small enough to fit down the cable. She thought faxes were physically sent down the cables of the fax machine
StewartDC8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:23:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Person on phone says thing won't work. Thing isn't plugged in!
A_Sad_Frog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:23:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was trying to get my mum to use a tablet once and I said, "Press that red icon on the screen that says "youtube". She taps the icon for chrome on the opposite side of the screen.
How do you tap the wrong icon when I just pointed right at it?
aguycalledsteve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:23:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When asked to right click the mouse, The user wrote it down.
alvalavash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:24:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom wouldn' accept that my email adress ended on .net even though I was in Germany. "So if it doesn't work I'll just try .de alright?"
MasterHaz0411 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:24:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had my grandma ask me how many people they had commentating individual football matches on FIFA, as if there was a large call centre and each game was commentated by two people working for the company.
phooool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:24:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Australia's fraudband destruction of the original nbn
flosiraptor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:26:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad once tried to print a YouTube video.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:27:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have to get off this thread, as a programmer this my real life hell.
jay_jay203 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:29:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my favourite worst is when people think the monitor is the pc (no that cant be mistaken for an all in one) we were upgrading a few pc's in one of our offices and when it came to this user she wouldnt dare let us touch her computer (the monitor) but we could do what we liked to the box sat behind it.
so i migrated her data to the new computer double checked everything was the same down to the location of the desktop shortcuts and she was non the wiser. sometimes other peoples lack of knowledge makes my job easier
ALasagnaForOne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:32:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This might get buried but... In college I was volunteering at a school in Tanzania and was teaching Photoshop to some students around my age. I gave them simple tasks like changing the sky in a photo from grey to blue. It was taking ages so I came around to check on them and figured out that more than one of them, when they'd make a small mistake, would just shut down the entire computer and reboot it.
MacMillan_the_First ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:33:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Girl in my IT class had a completely blank screen, no idea why. She panicked and asked me (who sat one seat down from her) why her screen was blank.
Her fucking monitor was turned off.
penguininaband ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:33:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tenth grade, computer practical lectures for Java coding. Fellow classmate asks me how to get the exclamation mark working on her keyboard. I yell "Shift plus 1". Five minutes later she says it's not working. Go over to her terminal, watched as she pressed shift, released, pressed 1. Over and over again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Woman: I CANT USE YOUR STUPID COMPUTER THE DESK IS TOO SMALL TO REACH THE ICONS.
Stunned silence, then I get up without a word to see whats occurred. I find the mouse swinging by the wire off the edge of the desk and place it back on. "Show me" I say. She sits down determined and drags the mouse over to a document on the far right of the screen and goes over the edge of the desk with the mouse, then looks at me all wide-eyed and lets out a high pitched "SEE?"
I try to have fun with it and tell her to move the keyboard to the left to make space "but I need more space on the RIGHT to reach my icons" she says as she awkwardly holds a book in midair at the end of the desk as a makeshift extension.
I grab the book and guide her through printing the document: song lyrics for this horrible track she had had on repeat for the past hour driving me insane. She politely leaves and suggests we buy better desks with her tax money, this was a LAN Cafe.
notalwayshere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:35:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to think I'm computer literate, but whenever I go to shopping malls I have trouble distinguishing between touch screen directories and plain old advertising screens.
I know I'm not the only one because all the advertising screens have other people's fingerprints all over them too.
flitbee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:36:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My 90 year old uncle used to use his mouse this way: he'd see where his cursor was and where he needed to go (say to click My Computer). He'd memorize the path, then take his eyes off the screen, look at his mouse and trace the path as he memorized it. He'd then look back up to see if he was near his target. If not, study the path, memorize, look at his mouse and trace the steps. He'd do this until the cursor was over My Computer. THEN he'd click and flash me a victorious smile. I'd give him a double thumbs up.
ThermiteMillie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:37:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've posted this on Reddit before but I know someone who called me one day with a computer problem. He's younger than I am, about 26. I'm not a computer tech genius by any means, I can just do your average really. I said sure no problem, what's up?
He says, I'm trying to type my password into this computer but it's only coming up with stars even though I'm pressing the letters.
He also types slower than my gran.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
astalavista114 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:54:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a guy who would type google.com into the address bar, then type "google gmail.com" into the search box on the google homepage just to get to gmail.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:39:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad was convinced that the computer was broken - "There's nothing on the screen!" - turned out he had not switched the monitor on.
Ramblingmanc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Not as bad as quite a few on here considering her age but here it is anyway.
I'd been talking to my gran (87 at the time) about things such as Siri and whatnot that respond to your voice - I'd also chatted with her a few times about AI and Asimov (big fan at the time) but I always assumed she was just listening politely and not really taking any of it in.
A few days later she wanted to have a go at using an ordinary desktop computer and whilst it was booting up I went to get something in another room.
Came back to her holding the mouse like it was a phone and trying to talk to the computer through it; trying to chat with it like you would with someone stood with you in a bus queue or something, asking how its day was going.
Heart-warmingly hilarious.
EDIT: Just remembered another, same gran. One Sunday evening I rang her for a catch-up and she explained what trouble she was having finding something in the shops the day before. I said I could order it for her online through Amazon and get it delivered for the next day, her reply was "Is Amazon open at this time on a Sunday?"
AzureDaisies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was summer interning in an office and one of my superiors called me over to take a look at his newly issued office laptop. He said he couldn't get the CD player to work and it was making a strange rattling noise. I really had to work hard to keep my face respectfully straight- it was a removable CD drive and he had just stuck the CD in the bay for the drive...
ScribbleMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a print shop. People would send us PDFs to print into booklets. We would print them, use a heavier stock for the cover, bind them, and trim them. Then we would ask the customer to stop by to check the proof for the right colors, paper stock, etc. before printing and binding 250 copies. (This was shop on college campus for university staff, not a far walk or drive.) Half of the time they would insist we email the PDF back to them or fax them a black and white version.
x2P ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back when I worked at geek squad, I tried explaining how to open a program to elderly man. He asked me this:
"When you say double click, do you mean press both buttons?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just as faxes came out one of the secretaries tried to fax a sealed envelope with contents
Percyxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nan's first time using a computer. I told her to press the start button. She went to touch it with her finger. I explained she'd need to use the mouse. She picked the mouse up and tried to touch the screen with the mouse.
In her defense it was around the time iPads were becoming popular and having seen me and my brother on our phones a lot, I guess she assumed that they were all touch screen.
Right up until she passed away she would switch the computer on and say loudly exclaim "COMPUTER ON" after pressing the power button. Repeated attempts to tell her that this wasn't needed were wasted efforts.
She had no idea that we were loading paper in to the printer. So when we explained that she was out of paper and would need to wait until we brought some over until she could print, she was shocked to find out that the printer didn't summon paper out of its internal mechanisms.
After she passed, my aunt tried to use the computer to find any files or photos she may have stored (a bit of a long shot, assuming that my Nan could do any sort of file transfers). She found internet explorer riddled with various toolbars.
TheOnlyMrMatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was round my mate's house when his uncle turned up with his desktop, complaining of long boot times, asking if we could fix it.
Plugged it all in and pressed the power button. Cue the following:
"Well that's not going to help!"
"What's not?"
"Well you didnt press it for very long!"
He thought that the longer you pressed the power button, the more power the PC would get, thus the faster it would work.
justnodalong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once I had a customer that couldn't connect to the wifi, ans she insisted that our wifi was the problem. She made a big stink about it even after we showed her that the wifi was working on our tablets. Turns out that the wifi wasn't even turned on her computer and she hadn't a clue how to turn it on. If you don't know how wifi works, then don't bitch about it. Wish I could say that she was the only one who did this.
xJek0x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:43:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's so many example I can think of....
Somebody told that computer are facing the same thing car used to face when it became affordable and comon : At first the fews people who owned a car knew things about motors, general mecanic and bascially how an engine works, now everyone owns one and pretty much 90% don't know shit and aren't interested in knowing how it works.
Nimsant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have brought some pdf documents on a USB flash to a friend. I insert it into his laptop.
It takes some time to detect the USB storage. So I just wait for it to come up on "my computer" screen.
About 20 seconds later my friend asks me: "Is it safe to take it out now? Maybe the documents are copied already."
AdeTheDragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
CMD/Terminal is for hacking. Almost went to the office because my sixth grade teacher thought I was using it to download "malicious programs"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad is a very intelligent person, but (probably because of that) he's also very stubborn. When it comes to computers, he's largely ignorant, but likes to think that he knows a lot. He's deadset (like many other people's parents on this thread) that "gaming" gives computers viruses. He's tried to explain to me so many times now that if I play a game, it infects our internet and slows it down. Yeah, he thinks people hack into massive hundreds-of-million dollar companies for the SOLE PURPOSE of slowing down our internet. I know about bandwidth usage and such, but I actually play a lot fewer games than he thinks, and most of them are offline. The times when I seriously play games are typically when nobody else is in the house/using the Internet anyways.
He also is the type of person to want the best of everything, so after I bought an Asus G75VW for games (like 4-5 years ago), a couple of months later, he bought an Asus G750 basically solely for Internet browsing. If you don't know, this laptop is ~10lbs and has like 1.5hrs battery life max. It also didn't have an SSD, which would've majorly been useful to him
alexytin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:45:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On an induction I asked a new starter to select an icon on the computer and they started jabbing the icon on the screen with their index finger. So I asked them to use the mouse whilst pointing at it and they picked up the stapler instead.
They didn't last too long.
pollywantsareddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:45:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Grandma is saving up for a 3D printer because she thinks that YouTube videos will print as DVDs and that she can somehow profit. We have tried telling her
Revenant10-15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Working tech-support at my high school, circa 1999. One of our regulars is named Mrs. Bird. She is balding, but she appears to be unaware of it. She's also unaware of ALL OF THE TECHNOLOGIES.
Anyway, Mrs. Bird tromps into the tech support office one day. She shoves a floppy disk in my face (for the youngins out there, it resembles the "save" icon in many games.)
I look at the floppy disk in her outstretched hand, and follow the hand, up the arm, to her frilly blouse patterned with cartoonish pictures of cats, and finally to her frantic and confused looking old lady face.
"Put the internet on this disk" she says.
"The internet?"
tut "Yes. The internet."
"All of it?"
rolls eyes "Of course!"
I took the floppy. Copied and pasted a shortcut to internet explorer on it. Handed it back to her. She snatched it like a seagull snatches a cocktail shrimp from a careless tourist, and scampered down the hall.
Didn't hear from her for the rest of the day.
jontargaryenthefirst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Da was on a computer course, the teacher said make sure your mouse in on the screen. One lad picked up the mouse and placed it on the monitor.
BobMarker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta be when someone was having issues with her printer because she tried to plug the usb cable into her computer's ethernet port.
gmkeros ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Got a call on a Saturday, at just after 6am (I blame lack of coffee for how long it took me to solve this). The new receptionist of the company I support. She said she could not log into Lotus Notes. She said she was logged into the computer, but that she could not start Lotus Notes. Remote connection didn't seem to work, and she didn't seem to be able to follow my instructions as to where to click to solve the issue at all.
After 10 minutes of hitting a brick wall I finally realized what the problem was: when she said she was logged in or that she "was in" Windows she meant that she was on the login screen for Windows. She just had ignored all the other questions I asked about it, and had agreed with everything that seemed about right.
I reset her Windows password, and she was able to log in.
5 minutes later I get another call. Now she really wasn't able to login to Lotus Notes. (at least she found the icon for that on her desktop). So I helped her with that.
5 minutes after THAT she calls again. She says she wants to start a flight simulator that they have installed on the computer, and she doesn't know how. My alarm bells ring. Flight simulator? A game? Which they just installed on a company machine?
Turns out it was a version of the helicopter flash game which someone for some reason had put into a powerpoint presentation. She needed help starting the presentation.
Raider1987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:50:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A call from where I work, where I am the youngest person by about 20 years.
Them: 'The computer isn't working, so we can't access the diary or emails?'
Me: 'Ok, what error message are you getting?'
Them: 'We aren't getting a message, the screen is just blank'
Me: 'Ok is the monitor still plugged in?'
Them: 'I can't tell'
Me: 'What do you mean you can't tell?'
Them: 'We have had a power cut, it's really dark in here.'
plantbabe667 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:50:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A woman I work with was sitting at her computer and stood up, walked out of her cubicle and into the hallway so she could check the time on the analog clock on the wall. She complained about having to do that the entire time.
bytie1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:51:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me - move your mouse to the icon on the right of the screen. Teacher in training class - I can't move it there. Me - why not? Teacher - my desk doesn't isn't long enough. Look over and her mouse is at the edge of the desk...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:51:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My boss was not sure why the iMessage that he and his wife were sending out and received were showing up on his daughters macbook.
He had same apple id on all three of them. He is a computer science graduate and was a professor.
Entrancement ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:53:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Aunt (older lady in her 60s) bought her first computer second hand from her neighbours. It used to belong to their teenage son (important later) but he'd left for university and had asked his parents to sell it on his behalf for some extra funds.
The first bafflingly illiterate thing she did was hold the mouse wrong. She basically held it sideways in "landscape" mode. She couldn't understand why when she pushed it forwards, the onscreen cursor would shoot off to the right. I showed her the right way to hold it, but every time she took her hand off it, when it came time to move it again, she'd go back to trying to use it landscape, grumbling all the while about how tricky the thing was to control. The first couple of times I gave her the benefit of the doubt, the later ones though had me trying my hardest not to facepalm.
The second thing that happened was that when I showed her how to use Windows Explorer to navigate her files / make folders, I saw there was a DVD in the drive labelled "Lesbian House". At first I wondered if Aunty Entrancement was secretly a lesbian. (She's got two grown up kids, but at her age I guess that can happen.) It turned out to be a porn DVD the prior owner had left in the drive. I ejected and binned the DVD right in front of her but she had no idea what it was or what I was doing. (Probably thought I was clearing the cup holder for her.)
TLDR: Older relative holds the mouse sideways and wonders why it's so hard to control. Doesn't notice that she has a lesbian porno in the DVD drive left by it's previous owner.
Kinkzor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:54:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I have 2!
First story:
About 20 years or so ago, I was showing my Auntie how to browse online (I used netscape navigator.. I am old). She was watching me closely, I showed her Altavista (THE search engine pre-google) and how you can search for whatever you like, but then i heard my phone ringing so I left her alone and headed downstairs to answer it.
2 minutes later I come upstairs and she is visibly angry. When I walk in an she just turns to me and says, "Your mouse thingy doesnt bloody well work". I was like, but it worked 2 minutes ago... show me what is wrong.
She then picked up the mouse. Pointed it at the screen...and clicked the buttons frantically.
Second story:
This is not about PCs, but technology. It took place when I was in primary school... about.. 30 years ago. Yes, I am still old.
My mom had a friend who we knew was not the brightest (lovely woman, beautiful in her youth, just thick as a brick). We had just purchased a new "ansaphone" and left it connected as we went on holiday. After 2 weeks we came back and my Father was super excited to hear the mssages we had... he hit play.
What ensued was about 7 minutes of this friend of my mom's saying "Hello. Hello? Helllloooooo? Heeeeeeellllllllllllo!!??!" getting more and more annoyed. She had literaly filled the enitre tape with her "Hellos".
My mom recognised her voice, called her up and asked her why she didn't leave a message. The reply? "Your answering machine is broken. It didn't answer me when I said hello".
FlamepointSiberian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:55:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for a surgeon who watched me put together a small vacuum with which to clean my keyboard. He asked me what it was and I said it was a Datavac. He then asked me if it was used to suck data from the computer...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:55:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't get this one myself but around the same time supposedly a man called in to tech-support with problems with his foot pedal.
Smh
These are Toshiba laptops running 98 FIRST edition in 1997, mind.
It was rough.
OneRedSent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:56:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching a senior citizen to use a desktop computer. She picks up the mouse and starts waving it in the air. I gently show her how to leave it on the mousepad and move it around. She is amazed, and says she took a 2 hour class and they never taught her that, and I should be teaching those classes!
Ectar_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:56:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Not computer, but it was mobile phone related.
One of my first real jobs was working customer support for T-Mobile (it was actually One 2 One but T-mobile later bought them out - this shows UK people how long ago it was).
Anyway, mobile phones were just becoming affordable and lots of people were getting pay as you go. This was before the Nokia 3210 took off.
Me:- Hello you're speaking to Ectar how can I help?
Customer:- My phone won't work, It's frozen.
Me:- Ok, we'll we'll do a fault diagnostic, sorry I mean we'll go through some steps to see if we can work out what's wrong.
I then proceed to find out which phone the customer has, so I can advise her how to switch it off and back on (like computers it solves 99% of phone issues).
Customer:- Ok I'm going to switch it off now.....OH! It's made a noise....Good gracious it's lighting up now.. Oh oh what have I done? It's asking for a code, what do I do?
I slowly realize what's happened....
Me:- Ok, try 0000 (default unlock code for that phone)
Customer:- Ah now it says Motorola on the screen... It works now!
Me:- What you've just done is switched your phone on, not switch it off....The problem was that your phone wasn't on.....
We both laugh off what had just happened. she was an older lady and was so relaxed when she realized what the problem was.
Customer had never once switched her phone off. She got it set up in the store and each day would connect it to her charger and charge it over night. She had it just to receive calls and basically had switched it off in error by accident one day. She said calling us was the last resort as she was about to go buy a new phone.
Those days were crazy, most calls we took were either to help people change their language back to English after being pranked by a family member or friend. If it wasn't that, it was the angry parent wanting to know why their child has a ยฃ200+ mobile phone bill (text messages, that's why).
KeySolas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:57:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In primary school my classmates were seriously illiterate. They would seriously either A. forget to save and ignore the warnings, or B. always press Save As and make a new name or rewrite the original.
I've also had people touch my gaming computer's monitor with their fingers trying to tap on a file or scroll up. The horrors!
Gabenfoodle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:57:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not exactly the most computer illiterate thing that I've seen, but given the fact that the person who was having the issue was a computer-savvy gamer, well.
"Hey, I can't get into my heavily modded Arma Server. It just kicks me immediatly"
I go look through the Server, make sure that there's nothing wrong. There's not
"So, have you made sure that you're running the mods that you have on the server?"
"Thanks for your help"
I very tactically facepalm
Angus9998 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:58:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He went to the google search bar.
He typed ''google.com''
Then he searched ''google'' on the same page.
He went on google home page.
He clicked on the school site which was on the fast dial below search bar.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:59:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I watched a guy hunt and peck for every key when he writes. He writes for a living.
Bobby_Ju ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:00:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Maybe ten years ago, I was configuring and installing light terminal clients for employees who got an authorization to work full time from home (to take care of a disabled relative, among other cases).
Some of them were completely new to the computer world. So I had to demo and train them to use their new tools (one or two simple software).
I had only one training session to give, but that day I quickly realized I had to cover every basics beforehand..
So I explain that moving the mouse moves the onscreen cursor, and if you click you can interact with icons on your desktop, then the software, etc..
Then I hear someone telling me "their mouse doesn't work".
So I go there to diagnose the problem, which I quickly understand.
I get the person's hand holding the mouse device and proceeds to put down the device ON the desktop.
This felt like an abracadabra moment, as the person got amazed now seeing her cursor move on her screen.
Tl;dr 1 : trained people for their new company software, one of them didn't understand why the cursor didn't move when waving the mouse in air.
2nd story which happened to a colleague :
She had to train users for new software environment (SAP).
She goes to the "howto do purchasing orders" chapter.
In SAP, there's an input box where you can write shortcuts commands (known as transaction codes) to launch different programs. This input field is maybe 8 characters long.
So she asks the audience to write the "me21n" command into the box.
She waits for a minute while drawing the next explanation diagram, but she still hears keystrokes once she's finished (she only asked to type 5 characters so...).
Then a girl asks for assistance because "the command shortcut doesn't completely fit the input box size".
My colleague is like "wtf" inside, as you can go up to maybe a dozen characters there. So she proceeds to see what's going on with that girl, asks for her to try again.
The girls starts typing the command again, out loud : "M.. E.. N.. N.. N.. N.. N.. N.. N.. N.. (and so on...)..
See ? It doesn't fit !"
Tl;dr 2 : a trainee is requested to write a 5 characters long command in a small input field, "ME21n". She tried to type M, E and 21x times the N letter.
Jadegreif ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:00:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Inhouse programmed application, user complaned it was running too slow. Looks the programmer of the shoulder, and say happily: "No wonder it is running so slow, all those commented lines slow it down. Take those out!"
Andolomar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:04:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother thought websites like Amazon and online banking could only be accessed during open hours.
oaiaaia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:04:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Working as a customer/tech support about 5 years ago:
me: "please select the product and click the add button to add it to your basket"
her: "product? what is a product? please don't use technical terms with me!"
Muff03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:06:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We'd always mess with one guys screen and turn everything upside down when he wasn't looking or was away from the desk.
First time we did it, he got so pissed off, we could hear him going nuts and banging around in the office, just freaking out. But wouldn't ask anyone for help. We left him be for a few minutes and then I casually strolled in....
He'd finally just grabbed the monitor, flipped the whole thing on it's head and leaned it against the wall! Cables everywhere and desk in a mess.
That was a good day.
21719 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:06:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once my father told me to clean the dusts on my computer or else it will get infected with viruses.
Ashkela ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother would completely reformat her computer every time she was just supposed to restart it after an update. And if she accidentally deleted an icon off the desktop, she'd reinstall the entire program. MY FATHER WAS A COMPUTER ENGINEER.
alostbutton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Filled out a bunch of health insurance for a company wide switchover. The plant was full of hundreds of people. The lady was astonished that I used the tab key to breeze through it saying no one else did that.
lockedinaroom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the game but an older friend complained that Chrome was slow on her smartphone. I look at it and she has 100+ tabs open. She never closed any tabs.
She also wasn't getting text messages for about two weeks. She was going to factory reset the phone. Thinking about it for a minute, I ask her if she's ever deleted any messages. She says no. So I tell her to try that and it worked.
Braireos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a user that showed me how she was restarting her PC, as it was stuck on a load screen.
She literally turned off the PC screen, waited for the longest few seconds of my life and turned it on back again, turned to me and said "See? I told you that it is not working even when I restart the PC"
I have never facepalm internally so hard in my life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:10:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom loved using the chatrooms on AOL, but this kills your email. Spam forever.
I came in and my mother was painstakingly typing a rather long and professional response to each piece of spam asking to be removed from the mailing list.
I tried to explain that there were no people on the other end and her pleas would go ignored.
This didn't work so I showed her how to copy and paste text. "Oh thanks! This is so much quicker!"
smh
lyradunord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:11:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to say me as a whole....but then my grandma asked for help today with how to change her password on facebook
zenbasement_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My pop, bless him asked me to "send off a letter through that magic thing in the sky". He wanted me to email one of his kids!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:13:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A boss of a physics department got an email with a PDF attachment, his plane ticket. He printed it from within outlook or whatever he used.
The problem was that the PDF was attached in-line. He printed 32 pages of binary garbage.
BattmanRI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Work with really cool IT guys: They got a call for a computer not working... All checks being done they tipped the desktop box & water pours out. They were like... "Um why is there water coming out of your computer". With a deadpan face she says "Before it stopped I was working really, really hard ... maybe it is sweat"?? They lost their shit and she admitted it was a cup of water that spilled and got into the cabinet. Good times!!
lemmonclimber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tried to show my grandmother (who had two masters degrees in english literature and history) a facebook photo of her other grandson to which she starts screaming " THATS KEENAN! THATS KEENAN! HOW DO THEY HAVE HIS PICTURE?! THEY DONT HAVE MY PICTURE DO THEY? DO THEY HAVE MY PICTURE?" my mom had to take her out of the room and calm her down.
Huddy189 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:20:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had a old school commercial manager join the company. Was pricing up a job, gave him the template to just insert the quantity in and it's spit out the total. He proceeded to massacre my spreadsheet with by using a calculator to work out the total then overwrite the formula in the total column
I still get nightmares
MarshallAlex919 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I called my tech support team because I couldn't log on to a workstation....the guy on the phone simply said, "You do know that your capslock is on, right?"
ArdRi6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a Call Center in D.C. that included Federal Government customers. I got a call from a woman that her computer didn't work after moving it into a new office. It was my fault of course. I told her that we did nothing on our side. And we would have to bill her department if we dispatched a tech. She said that she would recheck on her side. I kept checking to see if her service restored. It finally did. She called back 45 minutes later. It turns out that she plugged her extension cord into itself. I thanked her for calling back with the update.
Arwen02 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was trying to teach my grandmothers new husband, Denny, how to check his gmail. After showing him multiple times how to get to Gmail and log in, he once called me to the computer and said it wasn't working. So I told him to show me what he was doing. I proceeded to watch him open the browser, and type "denny" into the search bar. When it didn't come up with his gmail, he got frustrated and said, "see?! It's not working!"
theterriblefamiliar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:27:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was a hiring manager at an IT consulting company. A woman applied for a position stating that she was familiar with "dated base".
jangus530 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:28:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a teacher who got a Google cardboard. She couldn't find out how to assemble it, me being the nerdiest kid in school she asked me. I found a video in literally less than 10 seconds and another teacher assembled it. The teacher praises me to this day. "I would trust you with my house key". That teacher uses Hotmail as well.
milenski7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:29:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom asked for help because her web pages wouldn't load. Problem was she only typed the address in the url bar and wait. Without pressing enter or any buttons whatsoever.
Bmoresmalls14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:30:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching a supervisor Illustrator. She said, what are all those boxes? I didn't put those there. I had to explain to her that they were toolbars and not actual boxes on her document.
captain_shenanigan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:30:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Call from a user asking what their username was for a database we had in place. I explained that the username format is "firstname_lastname" (using their name of course). After repeated failed attempts, I visited said user's desk to determine that they had no idea what an underscore was and were trying to use firstnameunderscorelastname as their username.
jivjov ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:30:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A woman who is in the IT department of the company I work for takes screenshots of images open in an image viewer program and attaches those screenshots to emails, rather than attaching and sending the image itself.
Proper_Shiny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:36:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was signing up a lot of my staff to an app where you could book holidays and it'd alert me and I'd approve or not.. The elderly staff didn't have smart phones so they could do it on the computer in the staff room so I had to teach them.
Anyway you know how when we move the mouse and say it gets to the edge of the table you'd pick it up and place it away from the edge so you can carry on scrolling? Well one lady wasn't aware you could do that and she almost broke her wrist trying to angle the mouse without it falling off the edge.
She ended up in hospital and had the next few days off.
onlytech_nofashion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:43:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: 40 rods to the hog's head!
d3ba91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:43:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was new joinee at a software company. One of. Colleagues came to me and asked to install Google on his laptop. I was like WTF. Then after some Q&A i understood he was not able go to google home page shown in Chrome starting page as only IE was installed on his laptop.
niphredil12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
After weeks of trying to convince my boyfriend that he would need itunes to put things onto his ipad, he finally caved.
He somehow managed to download some sort of fake itunes that was a virus.
I literally don't even know how.
LordTengil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend's mother. Sattring in The Double Click Fail.
Me: Ok, grab the "mouse" with your right hand.
Her: Ok..
Me: Now, move the mouse around. Do you see the "mouse pointer" moving on the screen?
Her: Yes.
Me: Ok, now move the mouse pointer over the "Word" symbol, right there, yes. Now, double click on the left mouse button.
She then proceeds to look down at the mouse, before double clicking, and in the process, moving the mouse pointer from the symbol.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had someone go 'This mouse is broken - when I push it left, the thing goes right and when I push it up the thing goes down"
It's not the fact of the dumb, it's the fact that this person was actually hired to work as a computer operator, managing several servers for a Cable TV company. They were responsible for the running of the systems, yet couldn't fucking mouse.
And no not an older person, but a 20 year old
robotot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Coworker kept getting a printer error and asked me to check it. The printer had no paper in it. Filled up the paper tray and it printed the same document 12 times.
obdes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine was talking to support for her internet on the phone. When they told her to please shut all windows she stood up, closed all windows in the room, sat down again and said "Ok, all closed."
I Just stared fascinated, wondering what she had just done. Only when I later asked her did she realize her mistake.
house_autumn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a coworker who, after 8 years of me repeatedly showing her how to do it, still can't attach a file to an email. She also can't put on her out of office after numerous attempts to explain to her how to do it and why she needs to make sure she does it. Every time I show her, she makes notes explaining how to do it... and you never see them again.
She also once spent 10 minutes putting paper in the wrong tray of the printer even though it was telling her on the screen which tray was empty, exactly where the paper needed to go, and what she needed to do in order to replace it. Instead, she just kept putting paper in the wrong tray and wondering why it was beeping at her over and over. I had to walk away, that was a step too far for my patience.
CheriiPi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:57:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is not exactly "computer illiterate" but tech illiterate in general.
Sister(sometimes my mom asks me too): why isn't the television working.
Turns out they were trying to watch cable tv, but there was no source.
Television literally had "No Source" in bold size 1000 font on it.
I press the button on the remote which has the word "source".
Of course they don't thank me after that. And when I try to teach them that is not that hard they dismiss me with "you're always on your phone/computer, you're the best at tech stuff. It's bound to be very complicated so I don't want to learn."
cyber172 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:58:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In computer class we were learning how to use excel, after our Christmas break where we have been learning excel for 2 weeks prior, a student forgot how to move the little selection box you use. The teacher was as surprised as I was.
Mehnard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Another thing that puzzles me - We use Outlook. When you start a new email, many people just start typing the recipients address in the address bar. After a while, the MRU list will kick in and supply addresses that have been previously used. Replace a computer or just do some general cleanup and the list is cleared. Then I get the inevitable call, "What happened to all my addresses?".
PM_ME_GOOD_CHIPTUNE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandpa said I needed to fix his Internet, because for some reason he messed it up and everything was small.
I kindly set the zoom back to 100% and explained to him that he scrolled out with Ctrl + Mouse Wheel :)
That was kinda cute ^^
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:02:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The head of out IT dept. spent nearly 2 hours trying to fix my boss's mouse. Someone had put tape on the bottom of it
It was after this I found out he only had the job because his wife was the owner's daughter.
Bottom_of_the_bottle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:02:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone kept trying to put www. before an email address... this happened last week.
Midvikudagur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:02:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my former students (in logic :v) used to write their solutions to the homework on a computer. It was beautiful, all symbols correct, every line and letter correct.
He then proceeded to print them out, photograph each page, and email me the images when he returned his homework.
Goldenwheel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:03:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Work colleague insisted I add all email addresses into everyone's email signatures, otherwise how would anyone know who sent the email?!
PedroFPardo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:04:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I ask a 20 years old guy to type 'a' in the keyboard. After a while looking for the 'a' he told me that there was no 'a' in his keyboard. His keyboard only had capital letters.
TheOrder212 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:04:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Came into work one morning and this lovely older lady was in a panic saying how her mouse has gone crazy. I watch the mouse and her hand and notice it isn't tracking normally. Look at her hand and the mouse and she has the sucker upside down where she is clicking with her palm.
I calmly tell her..."Mouse is upside down."
She gasps and flusters and tells me she hasn't had her coffee yet. I don't know how she didn't feel the left and right click weren't there but yeah I believe caffeine deprivation is a thing I guess.
Team_Rocket_Landed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:05:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum asked me to grab her charger for the laptop I had just charged so I asked why. She pointed to the wifi symbol as we were loosing signal and told me it's about to die.
Ganonthegreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:12:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was only about 10 years ago when my mother found out that there wasn't an actual "Jeeves" on Ask Jeeves who was filtering all the results for her.
She literally thought someone was personally choosing sites she'd like, and even went to the bother of adding "please" and "thank you" to each search because it would be rude not to do.
baptizedburning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:13:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An elderly lady at work had received electronic pictures of her grandkids and she asked me how to save them to her work computer. When we got to the part about naming the files, she quite literally gave human names to all the jpeg files. A picture of her granddaughter she named "Bill" and another picture of a grandkid she randomly named the file as "Jeff." I just let it go.
shnmchl61 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My former boss (woman in her mid-70s) once told me she "can't find Google. How do I get to Google?" After watching her show me what she meant, it turned out that she was used to browsers that had Google as the homepage and opened to it when clicked. She didn't know what to do if she clicked it and a generic "Top Sites," type of page opened.
SunnydaleClassof99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:15:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party but the head of ecommerce (!) at my last job couldn't figure out how to set Google as his default search engine so would always get to Google by searching for it in Bing.
Aruy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:15:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of the interns at my workplace asked me how to delete a file on mac. After I showed her she asked me how to bring it back. She is a 22 yo college grad...
blzr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:16:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For university once we had to do some research for a big company. So my now ex-girlfriend decided she wanted to do her research on Google. So she went into google.com, typed google, clicked search and the first link was "google.com" and she clicked it, thinking it will lead her to the company website. I was laughing so hard, while she stared confused at the monitor.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:17:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to teach ctrl-c/x/yz to someone. She was completely rewriting blocks of texts when needed because she didn't know how to copy and paste
saudikungen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:18:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not mine but my friends story: He was helping his mom use a computer for the first time. He sat her down and showed the keyboard and the mouse. After some basic explanation he said to his mom:
-okey mom, now you place your hand on the mouse and put it in the left corner of the screen.
His mom then lifted the mouse and PRESSED IT AGAINST THE SCREEN OF THE COMPUTER.
There was a moment of silence, followed by a facepalm.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Work in IT. The amount of times I have users who have started a new document, have never saved and worked on it for hours up to days, and losing all of it. Then come to me and ask can you recover?
Nope...
Wtf do we have backups then?
Sergeant_Steve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:21:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was young and we had progressed from a USB ADSL Modem to a Wireless Modem Router I thought that I needed both modems plugged in at the same time and then wondered why the lights on the modem router started flashing.
Younger still I looked up porn on the computer and forgot to clear the Internet Explorer search history and my Mother found the weird URLs and thankfully never figured out it was me.
I also do some Tech Support on Facebook for some software, numerous times I've asked people to RIGHT click a tray icon near the Windows time, they either left click and say nothing comes up or they give me screenshots of error messages and ask me if that was what I was asking for...
CeeMooreButts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:21:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not my proudest moment. In high school, we had an old computer lab with Apple's (mid 90's, no real color screen, stand alone units). They were all networked together. A few buddies and I went thru, and named all the computers and gave them all generic passwords from Beavis and Butt head. So needless to say, us being somewhat computer nerds, were not the the most popular with jocks.
Me, being in computer lab, see bully jock writing paper. Has been working on it for a good 45 minutes, thinking to myself "bet he didn't save". Log into his station from mine in back of the class, drag hard drive to the garbage, crash his system. Find out he didn't save. Take hard drive out of trash, suggest he try rebooting. Looses everything, a win for the nerds.
To be honest, I sort of regret it as an adult, but at the time my life was made hell from time to time, so felt like a win at the time. Lesson learned, always save your stuff!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:23:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Called my ISP to ask about slow speeds. After about 30 mins on the phone we discovered that I turned on speed limits on my router and forgot about it.
Maybe not tech illiterate, but definitely tech-fucking-stupid
Limonhed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:27:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
After she learned that the thing beside the typewriter (keyboard) with a tail (wire) coming out of it was called a mouse I said, "Move the mouse up." And she obligingly lifted the mouse straight up into the air. This was a Computer class I taught at an elder center. The student was nearly 80 years old and had never used a computer before. She actually did fairly well compared to some of my students. I considered it a success if some of them were able to learn to play solitaire on a computer. While others were creating spreadsheets to track their finances and writing novels.
Sarriah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:28:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I sent a budget in an excel sheet to a client and they emailed back to ask for a bigger version, since her eyes aren't great.
send-me-bitcoins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:29:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A book keeper in a company I worked for retyped a spreadsheet twice in one day as she accidentally cleared it. I went to check on her when I heard screaming and swearing as she somehow did it a third time, she bought me a bottle of gin for showing her how to undo.
BillfredL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:30:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
General manager at the dealership wanted to bring attention to some new promo banners on the fence coming in.
He sends everyone a screenshot of Windows Picture Viewer with the file open.
As the Internet marketing guy, let's just say I was looking for the exits from that regime.
greenmky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Worked at a computer lab at a community college back in '99 or so. Was always helping out the people taking computers 100 or whatever it was (like Intro to computing...how to type stuff and save it, basic file system, etc). Windows 95 era. So I fielded some pretty basic questions. This is the worst I saw.
Guy comes down, says his doc won't print. This happened all the time, janky parallel port print server gadgets would stop working (how we printed in the 90s, don't judge).
Climbed under table, power cycled print server gadget, still no print. Went to user's PC. He showed me, "I tried to print, see? I clicked Edit, Copy, but it didn't print me a copy."
Almost made sense.
send-me-bitcoins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Grandma, a fairly astute women but in her 90's, can't get her head around the fact that you can login to the same email address at different locations. The family has given up trying to explain and just let her use theirs if she is around.
A_MasKo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:35:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A colleague of a friend of mine thought the cd reader was a can holder and used to keep it ejected with a coke in it
TeunB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:35:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Saw my friends dad sitting at his computer after he 'turned it on'... He was mumble cursing because it didnt work. He just activates the computer screen everytime and sits there without turning on the computer itself :-P
Fournote ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:36:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to show my mom how to copy text from a webpage and paste it into a word document. She wrote the instructions down and saved it on her desktop so she wouldn't forget.
trackerFF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandpa did the following.
Turns out he didn't know how to print from web browsers, but he knew how to scan and print pictures. And he stores a copy (recipes, lyrics, bills, pictures,etc.) of almost everything in a physical folder. He burns through printers and toners faster than anyone else I know.
Turbo_911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A while back I had a coworker who had to be put on light duties because of an injury. I had to teach a 55 year old man how to use a computer for the first time, I knew I was in for it.
One of the first things I had him try to do was to grab the mouse, point it to the browser, double-click to open it up. I had showed him step by step how to do so, and to shout over at me when he had done that, as I was just working across from him.
A few minutes later he yelled out "I can't get this damn thing to work!" When I went over to see why, he grabbed the mouse with one hand, and pointed his finger on the monitor with the other trying to tap the browser icon saying "see I'm pointing on it" and clicking the mouse rapidly.
I don't think I've ever endured such a big facepalm in my life.
empathetical ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
watching my dad type google.com and then once there search for hotmail then go to hotmail instead of just typing hotmail. LOL
SmoothOctopus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mothers friend who had just finished and passed a 3 year bachelors degree in Information Technology got me around to her house because she had a new computer and didn't know how to install Windows XP on it. She had the disk and everything I pretty much just clicked next 10 or so times =/
LoraRolla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:39:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In like 2007 my ex-boyfriend was borrowing his step dad's computer. Coincidentally the ads on the sites he normally used changed to those ones where the girl knows what city you're in. Like "Meet sexy singles in [city] today. " We could not explain to him that he did not have a virus and that we did not cause it and he brought it up for almost a year.
Also close your porn. Stop asking me to fix your shit when the browser is full of porn. YOU'RE AT WORK.
AmazingPorpoise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:39:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Throughout my entire senior year in high school my math teacher could not figure out the back and forward arrows in her browser. She would constantly mix them up or forget what they did entirely.
alienkreeper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:39:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandfather called me once because he was having problems trying to print something. He actually said, "I'm having problems printing something. Does this mean the printer lost connection to the internet?" He thought that because the internet and the printer are both wireless, that meant they were connected.
itsrishabh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:39:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had a teacher in high school do this:
pddaawwgg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:42:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Installed a color printer at work, user asked if it would still print in B/W.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:42:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My teacher decided that since there wasn't good Wi-Fi coverage in our classroom someone needed to grab his laptop and catch and bring the Wi-Fi into our classroom Maybe I would've gotten a better report from that teacher if I didn't face palm so obviously...
electricidiot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:43:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A dude in a computer class I used to teach picked up the mouse and clicked it at the screen like it was an old timey remote control.
algonceren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
at work a mechanical engineer asked me: the fax machine has a low cartridge alert and if i send a fax will the recepient be able to read it?
Frugalista1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Many, many years ago I was trying to teach my lawyer boss the basics of a computer (this was 1989 so yeah not much to teach).
Anyway it really seemed like he was catching on until he pointed to the keyboard and asked which one was the cursor!
modernDayKing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:45:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a user plug his USB stick into the back of his computer as instructed.
When it wasnt working I couldn't help but to notice he shoved his USB stick "square" into his db9 com port
Mineralke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:45:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I saw my classmate straight up type "Enter" on the computer console when she was told to press Enter.
modernDayKing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:46:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One time I asked a user to reboot while over the phone. After several minutes of her insisting that she did, while I knew she didn't. I found out she was pressing power on her monitor!
jorrylee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:47:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I live in another province and was helping my mom over the phone with her iPad. She'd had it for a year at least ready. I told her to push the home button. "I don't have that button," she argued with me for twenty minutes in spite of me telling her it's a physical button at the bottom, below the screen part. I finally texted her a photo of an iPad with the home button circled.
TodayIEarned ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:47:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tech illiteracy: I work for a TECH COMPANY. When Pokemon go came out a few weeks ago kids started walking on company campus to hit a pokestop. Corporate didn't like civilians being on campus. The pokestop was assigned to a bench outside one of the buildings. Corporates solution to get people to stop coming on campus to hit the pokestop...remove the bench... Again, I WORK FOR A TECH COMPANY!
RonMexico2012 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:48:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad got his first android smartphone and I showed him how to do the basic things that he uses it for. A few months later, I happened to look over his shoulder and I realized that he forgot about apps and was using the chrome browser to go to gmail.com...
iNorway1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:49:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The MOST illiterate would be my 1 month old nephew. But hey, not his fault.
Had a friend who didnt know what the save-icon came from. He now knows.
Aeleas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:19:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to suggest a bulk delivery of floppy disks, but apparently they're starting to become expensive because nobody's making them anymore.
FluffyMarshmallow90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:49:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone I work with writes everything on the computer in capitals, but she never presses the caps button. She just keeps holding down shift. Not the most illiterate thing but kind of annoying
RickaliciousD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:51:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a user complain she couldn't click on the OSD when she pressed the menu button on her monitor.
thefrontbuttisreal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:51:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I accidentally dumped all of system 32 on my desktop. Windows.
mogazz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:53:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was a long time ago, we were upgrading windows 2000 to windows xp.
I was talking to a coworker, which was typing something in Word, if memory serves me right, about the transition. He then ask me, "What is windows?".
I was speechless.
EclecticDreck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:54:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There once was a paralegal who was tasked with taking a collection of PDF documents, assembling them together into a single document, and [bates numbering] them. The first thing I heard about her project was when she called to ask which of the scanners was likely to work the quickest. After answering her question, I moved on with my day.
Six hours later, she called me in a panic because the scans were all incredibly low quality. Turns out, she'd taken several dozen PDFs consisting of several hundred pages, printed them all out, then produced hundreds of little labels for them and had spent the day painstakingly sticking labels onto pages. Now at the last step in her project, she found that the cycle of scanning and printing had resulting in nearly unreadable print. I was stunned by the story, not because of all the work she was at risk of losing, but that she had spent six hours doing a task that should only take about two minutes. Combining PDFs with acrobat is a right-click menu item and bates labeling is built in. They had been a paralegal for eighteen years and had had access to acrobat pro for at least ten and yet had somehow gone through life that whole time printing and physically labeling stuff.
zero_vis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Explaing how ctrl+c, ctrl+x, ctrl+v worked to a new guy at work. He says "wow, those shortcuts are great! Whats the shortcut for deleting things?" ... "I usually just use the delete key."
boyuber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:57:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked the IT help desk at a hospital, and a nurse called in with an issue that required a reboot. They said they already rebooted, and it still wasn't working, so they insisted that I come down to look at it. When I arrived, I saw that the pc hasn't been rebooted in 2 weeks. I asked her to show me how she rebooted, and she pressed the button on the monitor.
She was turning the monitor off and on, thinking that was rebooting the pc.
withaberryontop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
10 years ago a colleague told me her computer was broken. She demonstrated by hitting the monitor on/off button. Turned out IT had taken her tower the night before for upgrades. She didn't even know the tower existed or what it did.
monkey_jones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A university student launched a formal complaint that her 'incompetent professor' hadn't scanned class readings properly. This meant that in order to read the pdfs, she had to turn her monitor sideways.
Minor plot twist: I was the 'incompetent professor' in question.
Aeleas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:11:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the absence of any additional information, I'm going to assume she was trying to read them on a phone/tablet while lying on her side with rotation lock off.
monkey_jones ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:46:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, she was lifting her computer monitor and putting it on its side rather than using the rotation function in her pdf viewer.
slimspidey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When working helpdesk we asked for a screenshot. The user sketched what was on the screen and faxed it over. Error messages, icons, programs opened, toolbar, EVERYTHING.
fanglord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:59:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My mum tried to use a mouse as a remote control.
amblingwombat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:00:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've got two since I'm not sure which is worse.
1) I spent 2 hours helping a guy reset his Apple ID. He not only couldn't type the password correctly twice, but when he did accomplish this miracle he promptly forgot it
2)I got a call from a woman who thought there was a virus on her computer trying to get her to join netflix. Turned out she opened IE (not even full screen) and it was a Yahoo banner ad that expanded when she moused over it.
TheDefeated ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:00:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guy was asking for upgrade advice and said "but dont you have to match your ram speed to your hard drive speed?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:00:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom grabbing a mouse upside down
FiercelyFuzzy206 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:01:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never felt more prepared for a question thread than this one.
I was probably in my second year of college. Mind you, I went to a school literally with science and technology apart of the name. So I'm sitting in a class required for the major, so you can't even blame it on gen ed. We had to download something for class so I was helping him with setting it up and I told him to just make a folder on his desktop. He just stated at his screen. I had to walk this kid though how to make a folder on his desktop. A kid going to college. For a degree that requires in knowing how to use them.
Shrodingers_Dog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:01:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Watching people double click literally everything on the screen and still not realizing that some of those are loading before they get that 2nd click in. I just can't understand how you do not notice the difference especially after I have informed them.
Defavlt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Most* of the plebs over at /r/pcmasterrace.
No, "PC" isn't an operating system. No, "Windows 10" isn't free. * "Most" as a percentage taken out of my ass
Edit: Just occurred to me; this isn't a thread about "computer illiteracy", it's a thread about most* humans being absolutely stupid fucks.
mikeymikeymikey1968 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe not computer illiteracy but when I first got on the Internet in 1993 I used to print out all of my emails and read them on the subway like they were actual letters. This was also when every email you got was actually to you, an individual.
mlputnam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:04:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My professor Bing'ed Google Maps.
Rayadicto11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:04:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A older lady who walked into the college's Career Center where I used to work was having a hard time trying to find her phone number on the keyboard
MrsJones2013 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:05:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When we first got a computer (1995), my brother got it set up, loaded doom, and played for a couple hours. My mom goes down to the basement to tell him to get off the computer and go to bed. He logged out of doom but didn't shut down the computer. My mom just stared at it.
She didn't figure out how to turn off the computer, so she just left it on. It was a good two months before my brother figured out that no one was turning it off.
He brings it up whenever she has a computer problem now, "well ma, did you turn it off and back on again?" "Joshua, I know how to turn off the computer now!"
The last time she came to visit she tells me she has a Facebook now. Alright cool whatever. Then she precedes to tell me that she doesn't want to see people she doesn't know and how do I turn that off. I had to stifle my laughing as I said, "Ma, it's a social networking site. It's supposed to show you things from your friends friends, that's how it works."
DrMnhttn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:06:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The entire movie "Jason Bourne."
VolatileHybrid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:06:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma (87) couldn't figure out why the screen kept going black when she hit a certain button. It was the power button.
TimoCT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:06:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
True story
ceroxis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in IT, and I once had one of our clients saying "But I don't get why the router has all those cables going into it, it's meant to be wireless"
chewbacccastan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:08:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not really computer illiterate, but we were moving out of our old house about a year ago and I sold the old TV in our basement, which was right next to the Wifi router. Out of coincidence the Wifi stopped working that night and my dad was convinced that if I didn't get the tv back that the Wifi wouldn't work and we had about an hour shouting match about it. I still don't think he understands.
mikeymikeymikey1968 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:08:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have taught computer programs to people for 20 years, Adobe, Office, etc.
Me:OK now left click right here... She: Switches mouse to her left hand.
Mylaur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When someone take a picture of their screen.
But to be fair if you're on PC and you want to send your screenshot of the PC on phone, then it's a little bit more complicated.
2059FF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
20 or so years ago, I witnessed an older co-worker try to put two sheets of paper together, with a sheet of carbon paper in the middle, into the manual feed tray of a laser printer, because he wanted two copies.
fading_stars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:10:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My lecturer exited the presentation he was showing us, scrolled down to the next slide, left clicked and dragged his cursor over a URL on the page, right clicked and chose copy. Next, he opened up Internet Explorer, typed in www.google.com, right clicked and hit 'Paste' into the search bar, and then clicked Search - it opened up a page of Google Image search results. Why he didn't just type in the relevant search term I'll never know, but even more confounding is the fact that the URL he highlighted had already been made into a hyperlink; he needn't have exited the presentation nor done any of the steps thereafter!
Laf1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:11:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend told me he broke the Internet. I was about to call 911
Zoos27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:13:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I have a few. I work with a woman who is stuck in the 1980s as far as work flow. Everything needs to be printed. EVERYTHING. it has to be color coded so it doesn't get lost on her desk.
She doesn't know how to cut and paste, so when she needs to, she prints the section and *retypes it***
There is a specific form I use several dozen times a day and it requires a signature. In the interest of expediency, and saving paper (you know, one of the very basic nature of email) I set up a digital PDF of the form. I had to go a over her head to make her understand that a digitally signed PDF is an acceptable format. She wanted me to hand deliver or inter-office mail the forms because she didn't think the digital signature was acceptable. I can purchase a house or a car with a signed PDF. Professional athletes sign million dollar contracts on an iPad with their fingers but I can't send a simple PDF form to this woman.
Another form has to be a hard copy. Why? Well it has to be pink - so it doesn't get lost among all papers on her FOUR desks. So when I setup this form on PDF I changed the background to pink. Still unacceptable. Why, you ask? Well, because her printer can only print in black and white. Color printers are a waste of money.
snipecaik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:14:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I told my dad I was building a 'computer' and he took it as me building a laptop, and couldn't understand why my case was so big, when it arrived.
Tasryll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Way old Wang terminal keyboards had a huge, round, "Help" key that was to bring up some simple help files. An older lady was... I shit you not... calling our support line saying "ive been hitting the Help key for 3 days now and nobody's shown up."
It took ever single drop of self control i had not to laugh out loud.
evilmonkey00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Year 4 (grade 4) teacher put on a movie, think it was ice age anyway there was no sound. So eventually he asked for help and I got up and clicked the unmute button.
RoseMachines ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There were so many mind-bogglingly dumb things involving my late dad and our computers I honestly can't pick one that stands out anymore.
Husker3011 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not the most illiterate thing but my English teacher in an IT school was googling "program to open pd" then saw the autofill "pdf" picked up the mouse,clicked the autofill,then pressed enter. 5 sec were never so slow because just typing in "f",the letter right next to "d", was too hard. Fuck sake
2_7_offsuit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They tried to print a YouTube video.
YolandiVissarsBF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just built a rather elaborate contact form for a client like she said she wanted.
She thinks pdfs and web pages are the same thing and used the term interchangeably.
Now she's mad at me cause I didn't mess with the PDF and I spent all this time making a contact page.
.... damnit.
chakakhan-varda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in 2012 my boss saw a poster he liked while we were out on a shoot. As it had a white background and was quite basic I thought if I could photograph it dead on and crop it neatly I could find it on google image. I also used the name written on the poster. It worked pretty seamlessly. I found the print so he could buy it.
He then asked me to show him how I did it. So I took him through google image step by step. Later on he asked me again and I wrote down the process with screen grabs and emailed him.
Finally he appeared at my desk with a smashed glass vase in lots of pieces and said 'can you google image this for me, it was a wedding gift and I need to replace it'. It tickled me.
Anyway I told him to check the John Lewis website. That worked out for him in the end.
lessleading ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Work colleague who constantly double clicks on his emails to read them despite there being a preview window right next to the fucking thing.
pjabrony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just yesterday, a woman I've been working with for years tried to delete a text file by opening it in Notepad, clicking the Edit menu, and clicking Delete. She was wondering why it was greyed out.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Printing a 50 page PDF, and throwing away the last 49 pages because she only needed the first page.
aldrashan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, not really a computer illiterate thing, but it drives me nuts when I see people use caps lock to place a single capital letter. A Chinese friend of mine does that. He also types with 2 fingers. Worst of all, when he presses caps lock, he fatfingers some other key, causing him to have to start over again. It's a pain to see him type.
My brother (16y) also uses caps lock and even tho I've told him like a million times that using shift is quicker and easier, he refuses to listen since he's "used to it". He said he started doing it since he didn't know what key the shift key was or what it did... "Okay, now press shift..." "What button is that?" "The arrow pointing upwards" presses the up key ffffffffffffffffuuuuuuu...
rabbitholegatekeeper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My brother used to work as tech support. A woman phoned one day having PC problems. My brother asked what is on her desktop. She replied a plant.
Another time a man called whose PC wouldn't turn on. After half an hour or so of trying different solutions over the phone, my brother asked him to plug his power lead directly into the wall socket rather than the adapter. The man replied well that's not going to work, since there was currently a power cut.
rdcpatches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In college, before I decided to switch majors to geology, I was a computer science major. One of my last professors had a PhD and a handful of certifications which he would like to flaunt. I don't know how he got them because he didn't know how to do anything on a computer. One day, the entire class had to teach him how to use the internet. This was only last year.
ninetimesoutaten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm late to the party, but I was trying to explain to my grandmother just because her computer has been off, that does not mean it will stop collecting emails. She had not turned on her computer in months and was surprised to see she had over 200+ emails. Also explaining to her that she can access her email from any computer
zephyrtr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He didn't know how to close or maximize a window.
g-funk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've posted this before:
A guy brought in his new laptop saying he couldn't get it to open. He even showed what he tried to lift the screen up. The problem was, he was trying to open it from the back side. I simply turned the laptop around 180 degrees and opened it up for him. He pressed the power button to turn it on and then grunted as he picked up the laptop and walked away.
kcwally ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I knew someone in college who wrote their assignments without saving the file. It was called "Document 1". They just never closed word or turned off their laptop and only saved the file when it was ready to send. The bigger issue was they had a laptop that had a faulty battery so if it ever became unplugged the laptop shut down and all their work was lost. During the end of the term they had rewrite a whole paper three times!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:05 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once worked in a shitty little place that paid us piss poor money, I was their sysadmin but I also had to handle all the morons and their idiotic problems. There was one woman (sales person) who used to make my life hell... she accused me and a colleague of removing notepad from her machine once because she couldn't open a file... but the best one was I got a phone call one day from her, she said .. I can't use the internet... and also, my mouse is broken.
30 minutes later I discovered she had actually managed to insert the USB mouse cable into the ethernet socket, wifi button also turned off... but damn.. I thought how is this even possible (the level of stupidity didn't surprise me, what surprised me is how you can physically insert a USB connector into an ethernet port) turns out it is possible.
Nazrael75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This one is from earlier on in my help desk career. I swear this girl was braindead right down to the stereotypical Clueless valley-girl accent.
Phone rings
<nazrael> IT this is Nazrael.
<bobblehead> Um, yeah, I gotta question...
<nazrael> okay
<bobblehead> yeah, um, our computer's off.
<nazrael> okay...that isnt a question
<bobblehead> oh, yeah, um, is it because our power's out?
<nazrael> your power is out?
<bobblehead> yes
<nazrael> and you are asking if that is why your computer will not turn on?
<bobblehead> yes
<nazrael> .....yes that is why
<bobblehead> oh okay thanks bye! click
This is why computer techs tend to drink.
Goudie300 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Typing "Google" into the Google search bar. Classic.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My father wondering why his android's screen flipped when he rotated the phone. He went to the service center to get it fixed when I heard about it I was like (-_-)
TheLegendOfZelph ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at a campus computer lab that ran computer literacy tests for incoming students. One of the questions said to attach a provided jpg to an email. A student printed both the pic and email, walked up to my desk, grabbed my stapler and said "here, I attached the picture to the email."
BitterDoGooder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was once working with the chief of operations - who oversaw our IT operations among other things - and suggested she 'google' the problem. 'Oh,' she said, we don't have Google here, just Bing.'
She then showed me how her browser 'only' opened to Bing.
PwntIndustries ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Resetting a user's password, because they've forgotten the one they just changed to a few hours ago when they received a notification that their password had expired. Letting the user know that their password has been changed to a temporary password which will prompt them to change their password again. Advise user of the password strength criteria (8 chars minimum: at least 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special char (pick 3)), user acknowledges and thanks me. User calls back within 3 minutes complaining that they can't get their password to work.
Check user's account, temp password hasn't been changed. Remote onto their system, it's sitting at the Windows login screen, ask user to log in with their temp password. I watch as they type their username, then delete it as they finish typing it as they had initially typed it in lower case, and for some odd reason, they've got it in their head that username HAS to be all caps. After they finish typing their username, they turn capslock off, they click down to the password dialogue box, turn capslock back on, type the first character of the temp password (which is capitalized due to new password security protocols.) and then turn capslock back off to continue typing the rest of the lowercase characters and numbers.
Windows prompts them to change their password. They go through the whole ridiculous caplocks ghetto-shift process again, then they spend the next few minutes trying to think of a password that meets the criteria, some do this faster than others. User then slowly types their password into the New Password dialogue box, then clicks down to the Confirm Password dialogue box, only they type in an extra character and hit enter before checking. Windows informs them their new password does not match their confirmed password. What I hear coming through the phone is, "WHY ISN'T THIS WORKING?!"
memyselfandennui ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A granny returned a computer monitor because it didn't work. Turns out the reason she thought this was because the box contained both VGA and DVI cables, but her desktop only had a VGA out. She was therefore convinced it wouldn't work, and wouldn't believe me when I tried to explain things to her. I had to pull out the monitor, assemble it, and plug it into my POS terminal just to prove it would work.
Americansinthealley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:34:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hopefully I'm not too late here.
Told friend I could build them a pc cheaper than what they were looking to buy one for. Got all the parts and put the rig together. Wrote out instructions for what to do because I had known she was pretty computer illiterate to begin with but the instructions went like this: 1. Plug it in and press in the red button on the back. That's your power supply, that stays on once you set it up. 2. Plug it into your monitor with the vga cable (even drew it for her). 3. Call me if you have any questions beyond that.
I get a call while at work. "It's not working at all?! What do I do?" Not at all? It was just working fine before you came and got it? You made sure to follow my instructions right? "Yeah I did what you said on here."
You plugged your monitor in? " Yeah"
You remembered to press on the power supply? "Yeah!"
And you turned the computer on and nothing happened? "Wait... Turn the computer on? Is that different from the power supply? Did you write that part down?"
Dear Lord smh...
jkholmes89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:34:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm always late to these things but I have a good one. I was a data guy in the service. Basically anything computer related we take care of it. Anyway, we get a new guy fresh from training. I tell him to set up a new computer in the middle of our shop for a monthly class. When the class starts the instructor couldn't log on. Being the good teacher and all I told the new guy to check the cables first. I walk with him from the computer to the wall and find the ethernet cable on the ground, right next to the plug in the wall. He told me he didn't know he had to plug the other end in.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grabbed the mouse and put it in the cursor on the monitor screen.
Thought that's how you moved the cursor
Slam_City ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone did not know how a mouse worked. He would hold his hand above the mouse in midair then tap on it to click on things. It's hard to describe but
almost how you might poke something to see if it was alive. I honestly don't remember how he moved it.
This was maybe within the last 10 years.
bring_back_firefly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad once got angry because he was trying to apply bold typeface to a file's name on his desktop using Microsoft Word's toolbar, and it wasn't working.
KimJongMilhouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once saw someone press Ctrl, Alt, Delete one key after another instead of at the same time.
meinthebox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party but I had a college professor once start complaining that the computer wasn't turning on. She went to find the teacher that was using it last. I walked up to it and moved the mouse to make the screen wake up...
NotSureIfTrolls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An engineer created shortcut files on his USB to work on them at home. Asked me why he couldn't upon them from home.
mrmoonpie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I taught a word-processing class in 1990--I had a student who couldn't find the space bar, since, of course, it's not labeled as such, usually.
Woddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Watched a coworker type www.google.com into the Google search bar on Firefox
We worked for a very huge internet company at the time
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, the shit that politicians try to do.
Anything else pails in comparison.
Nivosiel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:46:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to use the PC frequently to watch Asian soaps and browse celebrity news. A while after she got an iPad to browse in bed. One day she had to check her pay stub online on the computer and she proceeds to touch the monitor as if it were an iPad..
Placido-Domingo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was discussing some work stuff with a mid fifties female colleague, who was a chemical engineer with 20+ years of industry experience, and I said
"... and then i'll just take those bits and ctrl-c ctrl-v them over and then ...."
And she interrupted me to ask what I meant and it became apparent that not only had she never heard the phrases "control-c" or "control-v", but she was unaware that the shortcuts even existed.
Now I can appreciate that some old people maybe aren't totally clued up on the complexities of email or cloud storage, but copy paste is like the most core basic stuff that I had forgotten it was possible to not know. Plus this woman was a professional engineer who worked on a computer every day, using MS office and all the usual workplace jazz. I was stunned, I still kinda am.
rohdawg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a girl ask me how to turn on the computer. We both went to a pretty good state school that you obviously have to apply to online. How did she even apply?
ckernan2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:53 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Watched a "Senior" Financial Analyst have an Excel sheet open. He typed numbers in, wrote them on paper, manually added them, then wrote the sum appropriately in Excel. Claimed he didn't trust Excel to calculate correctly.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My 91 year old grandfather decided he wanted to learn how to use a computer. He bought a mac. When my mother was teaching him how to use it she would tell him to click on something. He would then pick up the mouse and physically tap it against the item on the computer screen that he was supposed to click on.
AR_Wyss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in the sign business, and someone wanted us to replicate their logo, so they went to their website on a computer, used an iphone to take a picture of the computer screen, then realized their email wasn't on that iphone, so they took a picture of that iphone screen with another iphone. So it was a photo of a phone screen, showing a photo they took of a computer screen, of a low resolution logo from a website.
xelle24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a coworker who insisted that her mother was a computer programmer and she "knew all about computers". She had no idea what "right-click" meant and could barely use google email.
It became clear pretty quickly that she lied about a lot of things.
BlackyHazyMorning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I spent what seemed like hours showing a perpetually incompetent coworker (We're both teachers) how to send an email with more than one attachment. She needed to send about 10 pdfs to one recipient. Rather that attaching them all to one email, she sent 10 separate emails, each with one attachment.
After showing her the highly technical CONTROL+A function, I ended my tutorial with, "just click the send button and you're all set!" as I walked out of the room.
In a panicked voice, my perpetually incompetent coworker responded, "Single click or double click!? SINGLE CLICK OR DOUBLE CLICK!?!?"
Peeking my head back into the room, I said "Triple click" and shut the door.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was Internet tech support. She was at least in her 60s.
Customer: My Internet just stopped working. Me: Do you see an error message? Customer: It just said my session has expired. Me: What website are you trying to get to? Customer: Im just trying to play my game!!! Me: Okay what game are you trying to play? Customer: (insert wild tangent game title) Me: Did it say you ran out of tokens?
Then I had to explain that she had to buy more tokens to keep playing.
narwhalzxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once at the orthodontist this elderly woman (yeah idk why she was there) couldn't figure out how to use the mouse to sign in for her appointment. All you do is click your name once and then yes....
DividingPrescott ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my customers tried to bring in her PC for a repair. She didn't know that the monitor cable secured to the tower with thumb screws. She ended up strong arming it and ripping the VGA port off of her motherboard.
wooking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/v9kTVZiJ3Uc
Krait_Haywire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was in 2013.
Me : GTA V is not coming for PC!
Friend : Oh, that's great!
Me : You don't have a console, why are you happy about it?
Friend : I have a laptop!
I started crying.
piefororange ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My aunt prints documents out and then scans them to save them as PDFs
TheFloatingSheep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My great grandfather trying to put coins in a nokia phone.
peterfun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happened a few years ago.
So one of our professors was teaching us the architecture of an 8086 chip. He went on to describe the recent processor architectures. So he was explaining the Intel core series (corei3,i5,i7). Some wise guy(or shall I say n00b) asked if core i1,i2,i4,i6,... had ever existed.
We were like "are you serious? they're just named that way" . It's a series thing.
Prof on the other hand gave a detailed "I know it all" explanation about how the those particular series had "failed to achieve success" and had been trashed. While the others became mainstream. We didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Our prof was a PhD in computer networks.
Reizo123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the "IT Coordinator" in our office - The IT department used to get so many calls a day, they had to designate a tech savvy person in each office to verify the "problems" before we actually call them up.
My best one: I get a call from my co-worker telling me she thinks we need to call IT. She was in the middle of working on something and then "suddenly it's just gone". I head over to her desk to check it out. The window is minimized, so I bring it up to see what the problem is. It's working fine, I can't see anything wrong. I turn to her to ask what the issue is and she's staring at me like I'm some sort of mythical computermancer.
"Oh my god, how did you do that?"
facepalm
Critical386 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Being around computer my whole life, as well as my parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents being around computers - we all have a bunch. But here is a few of mine:
I used to go to the library all the time when Bill Gates first brought the computers/internet to the libraries and you could just go and sit at a computer and get on the internet and there weren't any web filters. I was in 8th grade and my friend that was in the 7th grade that never went to school was interested in why I was always on the computer, and I set him up a Hotmail account (back then there was no Gmail). We come back a few days later and we had another friend with us, and he asks how to get to his email. I show him how to open the browser and then he starts to remember, and he asks me the URL to Hotmail. So I tell him W-W-W-DOT-H-O-T-M-A-L-E-DOT-C-O-M-ENTER. He flips out at the porn screen in front of him, and me and my other friend just start laughing.
This only happened a few years ago. I worked for a dickhead of a boss that was a multimillionaire in his 60s. I was the general E-commerce/IT guy for around 20 computers. One afternoon he tells me in his broken English (he Indian) that he's bringing in his laptop from home with his antivirus "card" and he wants me to "install" the card on his laptop to remove a virus. I didn't really know what that meant, but I said okay, and figured I would figure it out tomorrow. The next day came and there was a bag on my desk with the laptop, I open the laptop and turn it on, and go find him in the warehouse. I find him and we go back to the laptop and I look at the screen and I see what looks like an antivirus screen saying he has a bunch of viruses on his computer. Then I see him pull out a Green Dot Moneycard from his pocket, he clicks a few things and I see the screen that tells him to enter the $500 moneypack number to "remove" the viruses. I almost didn't want to tell him it was a scam, but I figured it wouldn't do me any good, so I told him. He tried to return the moneypack, but you can't get returns on them, so I told him I have a card that uses it, and I would fix his laptop for it. He said no for about a week, then we finally agreed that I would deposit it, he would get $350 and I would get $150 and I had to fix his laptop. I brought it home, wiped the hard drive, installed Windows and kept it there for a few more days to make it seemed like I was having a hard time doing it. We ended up splitting the money.
After my mom died, my stepdad, and I moved to Tennessee. What he failed to realize is that the part of Tennesse that we moved to, there was very little jobs there, especially for someone that's only done roofing their whole life. So after a while, he started to get desperate. He went to Home Depot and asked for a application. The pointed to a computer in the corner and we walked over. He just started typing his name into the computer, one letter at a time. I told him he has to open up the "Employment Application" icon on the desktop with the mouse. So after a minute or so he finally gets it. It opens up and a bunch of terms and conditions pops up. He starts reading them. All of them. Slowly. I told him to don't worry about it - he will never get the job anyways. I showed him that everyone that was working there was at a computer - he agreed. We left. Funny thing is as we were walking out he sees a roofing company truck and he walks up to the guy and asks if they are hiring. He said yeah, gave him his business card and told him to call him later tonight. He got the job and is still working there.
Emerald_Flame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in IT at an accounting firm here a few of the things I have seen:
TonySoprano420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My father still hasn't figured out that the icon on your desktop is just a shortcut. If there's no shortcut then it doesn't exist.
clearlybritish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once told a user about a web-service for work, and suggested it might be easier to bookmark it to save time.
She then opened up Word, typed it out, printed it, then cut out and taped the address to the bottom of her monitor...
dontrobyourself ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in tech support and the majority of our audience is 70+
I have so many.
Commenting now so I remember to elaborate during lunch.
jesterio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I explained how to download an app to my father, after dinner he opened up the app store and continued to look at it. After a while I asked him why he kept staring at it. Well in the searchbar was written Zoeken which translates to both "Search... " and searching. So he explained his toughtprocess as to why he tought the store was already searching for him even though he didn't type anything in. It sure was an odd idea to him.
baconborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My all time favorite. I was in Iraq on deployment and I get a phone call from the brigade commander. He tells me his cup holder isn't working. I'm like wot? So I go there and his "cup holder" was his CD drive. After prying the tray open it was covered in a thick layer of old coffee. In case anyone is unfamiliar, brigade commanders are usually colonels, typically 20+ years of service with several degrees under their belt.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a former level 1 call center tech rep, boy do I have a lot of these. One of my favorites?
Caller: I cant' access my email!
Me: OK, sir, let me have a look at your account clickety clickety click and check all the usual culprits OK, sir try it now.
Caller: Try What?
Me: Try to access your email.
Caller: ...how do I do that?
CertifiedHopHead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
College professor called and had an IT tech come down to the lecture hall to get to the school's homepage. The answer, type the three letter acronym for the school followed by .edu. After getting to the page the professor asked the tech to again explain the steps he took so said professor could do it again on his own. I don't think he ever really understood. Needless to say, the tech was bewildered and was basically on shock when he realized why he'd been called in. This all happened while being shown on a projector and the entire class found it sad and hilarious at the same time.
ChipMcFriendly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was a web producer at a newspaper in a medium-sized city. I got an e-mail from a reporter who had been at the paper for a matter of decades. It read:
"Do I have a twitter?"
Kommonscents ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in the early days, my visiting grandfather wanted me to get him online so he could check the score of the Cubs game. I sat him down at the family desktop and signed him into AOL. As the modem connected, we were serenaded by the familiar:
Pshhhkkkkkkrrrrโkakingkakingkakingtshโchchchchchchchcch
My grandfather got a confused look on his face and started slapping the side of the monitor as you would an old TV.
"What's wrong with this thing?"
"Nothing's wrong with the monitor! That's just the sound of the modem." pointing at tower as AOL makes second connection attempt
Pshhhkkkkkkrrrrโkakingkakingkakingtshโchchchchchchchcchdingdingding
Grandfather looks heatedly at the offending tower and aims another blow
"Grandpa! No! Everything's okay! It's supposed to make that noise."
On the bright side...we got a new monitor the next day. Thanks Grandpa!
SoupCrayon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:04:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In line at a store, the cashier asks the kid checking out for his email. He replies "I dont have an email, but I have a Youtubes." He was probably 13 or 14.
LeChance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:04:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was watching a guy at the library proceed to try install the USB into the disc drive.
Chreos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I went to watch Jason Bourne (I'm not spoiling anything) over the weekend and one hacker told another to "Use SQL to hack their database."
SteveJEO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:06:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have previously dealt with:
and a lot more.
Honestly I don't even remember half of them now. I no longer work with the public or end users.
shade3413 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:06:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Working tech support for an ISP
"On your modem, which of the lights are illuminated?"
"Ummm,... Oh! Num Lock, Caps Lock and Scroll Lock, but that one isn't lit up."
PsychoSecretAs1anMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:06:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guy goes to print something on the computers at my job. Does not confirm the print at the print screen. Thinks it's something wrong with the printer. Walks over to printer. Opens all of the trays. On the verge of pulling the $200 toner cartridge out when I stop him.
FireOccator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:06:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*My mother was once trying to buy tickets online for a flight. A lot of important pages opened in different tabs, but she was used to everything opening in separate windows so she closed the window with all of the tabs. Worst part is that I was right beside her and telling her not to close the window and to open the other tabs, but she slowly moved the mouse to the close button and slowly clicked it. After that she went bezerk on me and blamed me. She didn't know anything about tabs.
*Then there was that time when my mom thought that gaming is evil and she should stop me from doing it. So she decided to password lock my person laptop while I was not home. She called the brother of my grandfather who instructed her on how to create a password for the admin profile. It seems that he forgot to mention to her that the password is something that should be remembered.
*Then there have been multiple times when she constantly complained that there was a virus on her laptop because it slowly became slow. I tried to explain that hardware deteriorates and that all the background apps and the dump files, and fragmentations slow down a PC. Also it was bizarre to think that her PC had a virus because she barely used the internet, visited a few news sites, had an anti virus installed by me and was completely afraid to approve anything that asked for permission. But that didn't stop her from constantly bringing her PC to some dude who supposedly fixes her virus problem every time and cleans her hard drive. But one day she asked me to help her install some shit after the guy brings her PC back. I looked at her PC and there was TeamViewer and a keylogger RIGHT ON HER FUCKING DESKTOP. Now that is a peculiar thing to leave after whipping the entire hard drive. She didn't bat an eye because she doesn't seem to even know what's on her desktop.
*And then there was that one time with my grandfather. He had his own desktop PC. Which was located in the house I lived, besides my PC which creeped me out because the casing was white and I mean old white with the combination of the monitor still being a fucking box(white of course). But he didn't spend much time in the house and he spent a month living somewhere else. When he came back and activated his old trashcan and there was a problem. It kept shutting down within an interval of 10 to 20 minutes. Nobody was fucking surprised but him. What did surprise everyone is that he blamed me. He claimed that I was using his PC while he was gone and that I fucked up and got a virus on it. Even though I didn't use his PC. Because, why the fuck would I? Even his brother tried explain to him that the PC was old. I also tried to explain to him all the hardware malfunctions that can cause a shutdown. But nope, it was supposed to me my fault so he got drunk for a while and was sad about losing all the pictured he had stored on his PC. Even though he didn't lose them, they were all on his fucking hard drive.
But on a serious note, use FUCKING BACKUPS. I have seen enough people lose files because of hard drive corruption to give me nightmares on stupidity. Even bigger stupidity comes from the people who want to store information for long memory on their PC. Someone should remind them that the PC won't last that long. Main hard drives should only be considered temporary.
tamati007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Looking for the ANY key
slim_jimmy7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was told to repair a computer and that there was something wrong because she couldn't win at solitaire anymore
Sparkle_bitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At this point will get buried buuuut at my old company, if you got promoted, you were a hundred percent responsible for training your replacement. They hired this sweet but clueless girl to be the team coordinator which was basically just a ton of scheduling.
There were 1000 things she couldn't do but the best was she "didn't know how to send an invite to multiple people at once" . Ie in outlook, she'd have meetings where it was the entire team of 8 or so and she'd send each of them a separate invite. Bless her heart, she didn't think to even try and type in a second name into the "to" field.
spatterist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
anyone else ever get so fatigued you try to bring the cursor down to the physical keyboard?
wayfarers99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My university lecturer was loading a video to play on YouTube, then turned away to wipe the board or whatever.
When the video finished buffering and began to blare over the classroom speakers (because my lecturer hadn't thought to lower the volume beforehand), she turned to the computer in panic and yelled SHHH!!!!!
ltdan4096 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much every time someone is surprised by their PC rebooting to install an update. It warned you two dozen times over the past two weeks and even asked if you would like to select a time that is good for it.
Exact same people who don't get oil changes and then are surprised when their car breaks down.
shanec07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
called to a job where we had fixed the computer a few days previous. The card reader is not working since ye were at the computer. take a quick look. Ehh it would help if you had it plugged in. they were rather embarrassed.
jzisbored ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda late here, but last school year I saw somebody spend 15 minutes turning the PC monitor on and off (instead of the tower) until I helped them out
Thumpd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't plug the computer in because it was supposed to be "wireless". I shit you not.
ybtlamlliw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My pops was (or still is) absolutely convinced that Yahoo (the site) and Internet Explorer were two different things (he saves bookmarks to his desktop), despite me explaining that they're not dozens of times over the past 15+ years. It makes helping him impossible because he doesn't listen to me (or simply doesn't comprehend) when I say they're different. We've actually gotten into shouting matches over it, because he'll claim that "if it was your computer, you'd fix it right away," and I'd have to counter with something along the lines of how I'd be able to help him if he'd listen to me. It's such an odd thing but I've never seen anything else like it in my life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My family members come to me with their computer problems. My mother didn't have a legit copy of Windows 7, no problem I can fix that I told her. I then tell her is there anything you need saved on your computer, just my Facebook she says. I hate my family sometimes.
rubixcube101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work at an MSP so I have the pleasure of working with people of the entire spectrum of computer literacy.
The best so far is when someone says they rebooted their "hard drive" but it's still not working. After about 10 minutes on the phone I realize they've been power cycling their monitor thinking it's their computer...
Second best is people that plug USB printer cables into Ethernet ports on the back of the printer.
ChipMcFriendly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was helping my boss, an editor in his forties at a medium-sized newspaper with a computer problem. I told him to scroll down to the bottom of the page.
"How?"
"Just like you would normally."
"But how?"
It was one of those moments where you don't want to disrespect someone by overexplaining something to them that they should already know, so we went back and forth like that for about ten minutes before I caved to the shame of the situation and limply explained what the scroll bars were.
He was very appreciative, at least.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party here.
I have two from when I was working at Geek Squad.
First one. Lady calls about a laptop problem. We ask what brand of laptop, and she replies "dy". ...It was an HP
Second lady. She calls saying she just got a laptop and it won't open. She says she keeps trying and the "clips" on the front of the laptop won't open...She was opening the laptop backwards.
InBeforeitwasCool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was angry she broke her cup holder.
WhiteRavenMaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Telephone rings: Good afternoon, this is /u/WhiteRavenMaster from the computer store, how can I help you?
Customer: yes, hello sir, I picked up my new laptop at your store this morning, I've been working on it all day and now it just stopped working, you sold me crap!
Me: Have you plugged it in since you started using it this morning, madam?
Customer: Plugged it in? Why would I need to do that, I bought a laptop, it works on batteries, I bought it so I wouldn't have all that hassle!
Me:....
TheGentlemanLoser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:18:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for a small fuel distributor for a couple of miserable years. When the owner sold, his CFO became CEO, and he hired someone to fill the CFO role.
The CFO was basically hired as a yes man. He was a bit rude, big mouthed, and nearly caused a lawsuit due to sexual harassment (A dispatcher who worked during the days was very large breasted, and any shirt she wore fit very tightly. Fridays were casual, and every friday, she'd wear a tshirt, and he would walk up to her, lower his head to her chest, point his finger and read the wording. His comment about the dot on the bottom of an exclamation point was the final straw).
He was not very intelligent, especially when it came to using excel (An accounting unable to use a spreasheet program who was the chief financial officer? Red flag!), as well as other aspects of computing. One day, he was in his officer with the lead accountant, and was ripping her head off because she only sent a partial spreadsheet. She would try to defend herself and show him, and he refused. They called me to comfirm her mistake. I walked in his office, and noticed he had his screen resolution set to display everything very large. With the accountant behind me and him seated, I clicked on the slider at the bottom of the spreadsheet, moved it to the right, and revealed the rest of her data.
Gig472 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone once asked me what the difference between Google and Google Chrome is. I tried to explain but got a blank stare.
couldbeworse54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Related to this. Asked a user what browser they were using for the Internet. They said "Google". I asked if it was google chrome and they said "nope. Just google." Tried to tell them that just google wasn't a browser. They had put a Shortcut to google on their desktop and had no idea that there was such thing as a different browser. They were using IE.
Gig472 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I cant tell you how many people I have met that thought the IE icon was the "Internet button"
jpcholinski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Restarted a computer by powering cycling the monitor.
inline-triple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother, who is a mostly intelligent person (dean's list in college, 4.0 gpa, etc) doesn't understand Copy ... like, CTRL+C ... it breaks her brain. I have spent two decades trying to get her to understand it. I've used a variety of teaching techniques, metaphors, and lessons. Something in her head is hard-wired to not understand it. She has hand-written instructions that she keeps next to the computer for "moving text" and beyond that, I have no fucking clue what she does with the macbook air I bought her. I do know that she spends a lot of time printing the fuck out of terrible ass web pages.
Radshitz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a journalism professor.. Opened website and searched for NY times. Showed us an article. Closed the browser. Proceeded to open browser and search for NY Times again. Opened new article to show the class. Every time he wanted to show something different he closed the browser. Opened the browser again and searched...
Sekoshiba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My nan was listening to Elvis Presley songs on Youtube, and happily said "Oh, I didn't know he was still alive!". My grandfather walks in, tells her that he was sure he died, then they both celebrate that Elvis "Is alive and playing songs on the You Tube"
I had to explain that videos on Youtube aren't Live. They didn't understand for a few days.
I also had to disguise Google Chrome as Internet Explorer, because if "Internet" isn't in the name of the Browser they delete it immediately...or worse. They once hired someone to do a "Performance boost" on their pc. He charged them ยฃ50 to remove Google Chrome and install one of these "ULTIMATE PC PRO BOOST NOT A SCAM V3,000!" programs. I live 3 minutes down the road, I'm a pc tech, why didn't they ask me to do this.
Edit:
In my "Hardware Foundation" class we were tasked with building a pc. One of the kids just took like 11 harddrives, crammed them into a tower case, and expected it to work. When he failed the assignment his dad complained, came in, saw his child's ""work"", and continued to complain that they never got an 'A'.
Alecrizzle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend actually called one of those pop ups that say "Warning your MiCroSoft computer is infected with a virus. Please call this number immediately" I stopped her after she called it though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One day my sister was typing away on the computer just using her index fingers. I go, "Val, you type with two fingers?" To which she replied, " What? You type with one?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:21:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Customer called up saying he was having trouble logging onto his computer. I walk him through restarting the computer and logging in. He tells me he can see his desktop, and then asks me "but how do I know if I logged in"?
Another customer uttered the immortal words "I 'm not too computerized so everything's a black hole to me."
RexUmbra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:21:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom thought it we should throw away the wireless printer and get a new one because it was broken. I.e., it takes a little while to connect to our computer and sometimes needs to be turned off to reset the connection.
taracus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:21:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Friends mom once called my friend to the computer with the problem that she couldnt move the mouse all the way to the bottom of the screen, she ran out of mousepad...
SquanchingOnPao ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try to teach my dad how to computer. Tell him to move the mouse up he picks it up 6 inches off the mouse pad and looks at me
ILikeRedditAWholeLot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was talking to my kindergarten teaching mom about the schools first grade teacher who has been a family friend since we moved to our city when I was five. Apparently, she is the most computer illiterate person ever because once a couple of years ago, like 2012 or 2013 whenever this was, she went to my moms classroom to ask for help with the computer. Apparently she had hit the return key several times
And didn't know about the backspace key.
She wanted my moms help to make the cursor go back to bed previous sentence. She's like in her mid to late forties.
dinosaur_khaleesi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My company's president and owner doesn't know how to reply with attachments (or scan them) to his emails, so when he receives them, he prints them out and hands them to me and asks me to reply to the person for him from my account while he dictates what he wants to say. I've tried to teach him to do this but he has no interest in learning, already from a night thing lady like me. I have no idea how he knows the steps to check his emails but not to reply, it's mind boggling.
only1inspace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Providing technical support over the phone, asked user to restart computer. 10 seconds later, done. I'm like that's impossible to have restarted so quickly. What are you doing? User states "pressing the little button in the corner of the screen, right?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
vdragonmpc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We had to buy monitors for people that had this issue. They had 24 inch monitors but could not do more than one thing on the screen. As in outlook and Excel.
I have 2 of them with 32 inch screens and they have outlook on one screen and word in the other.
huffimus_prime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So, probably going to get buried, but...
I used to work help desk support for a company that made custom computers. One day I received a call from a particularly irate customer. Apparently there was no image on his monitor.
First, I made sure that his monitor was properly plugged in and working. Next, I asked him about the computer. "Are there any lights on near the power button?" Of course not. "Can you hear the computer making noise?" Ok, so the computer is not powered on. "What happens when you press the power button?" Nothing. I think I know what's wrong. "Sir, is the rocker switch turned on? It's on the back of the computer right next to where you plugged in the power cord."
"I need to plug in a power cord?"
I never wanted to reach through the phone and punch someone so badly in my life.
clearskyy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a Supervisor level employee at my work ask me "How do I make the bigger letters?" I had to point out what the Caps Lock and Shift keys were.
I had an employee with two monitors who had no idea you could click and drag windows.
I had an employee become horrified when I brought up Task Manager because I was "hacking their computer".
The list is endless.
Jeffery_G ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at Microcenter; woman came in asking how to clean her keyboard. Me, in a pissed-off funk, replied to simply disconnect and load into a standard dishwasher and cycle as normal. She wheeled and headed for the door. I had to physically stop her and explain that I was a jerk and was kidding.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did tech support for a rent to own business from 2000-2002 in Louisiana. I had someone call me while the power was out to complain their computer wasn't working.
Nor1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A call i got:
Me: "Thank you for calling , may i have your Email associated with our service"
Customer: "Yeah im calling on behalf of my wife , just wanted to cancel some things from her account"
Me: "Certainly , in order to check your information could you provide me your wives Email address"
Customer: "What do you mean?..."
Me: "The Email address that your wife used to enroll to our services."
Customer: "i don't understand you keep saying an Email she only has a Gmail..."
Me: involuntary eye twitch
seanf999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to explain to my mother 'the ins and outs of facebook' which basically meant 'who can see this?' Every one of them were paranoid about who could see what they post. The concept of having a status and a private message baffled them. I had to explain to one of my mothers friends that friends could see her statuses she then asked if old Aunty something in England could see it. I asked does she have a Facebook account she replied 'no she doesn't own a computers'...
cmrudy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Used her phones camera to take a photo of a picture she wanted to save that was on her computer screen.
MeeksKeeksSheeks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in an office and one of the sales managers put a piece of paper over a guys monitor while he was in the loo, the guy came back and had a huge paddy saying that they had 'hidden his mouse' and 'frozen his screensaver' it went on for a good few minutes before someone moved the paper for him.
espnguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "Looks like your hard drive is almost full because you're deleting things, but never emptying the recycling bin so the space is never freed up. To empty it, you..."
Client: "NOOOO!! That's where I keep all my important stuff..."
katman14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Long story short, was trying to help a customer with an IT problem using the obvious "Have you turned it off and back on again?" trick.
He said, "Hold on, I'll try it now." Then about 5 seconds later, "Nope, still not working."
Turns out he had been turning the monitor off and on the whole time. Realizing this, I then had to guide him through the proper process.
Dimarziomesafan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My computer is broken
What's wrong
My name is wrong when I log in
Mam that's your Microsoft account name
But one drive doesn't have my documents
Okay well let's check what account you have, are you sure this is the right account?
Yes I only have one, Im pissed off I just bought this computer and it doesn't work.
Okay well it's your account online not your computer.
No because my iPad and my iPhone work fine so it has to be the computer.
Okay let's see what account is on your phone... Mam this is a different email address than what you used on the computer.
See? The computer is broken
No Mam, you used a different account online than your ipad
I don't know computers, you are frustrating me.
It's okay, let's just login using the same account on your iPhone so we can get one drive synched for you.
I don't use one drive, I want one note to work.
...okay let's login and see using the same information from the iphone
What's the password?
Mam I can't tell you that, it's your password that you set up.
This computer is broken, I don't have to enter my password on my iPhone
That went on for another 15 minutes.
That's really just one of the more frustrating things but the most illiterate is the dozen people a day that can't get it through their skull that they need a new computer and you can't make their XP machine run Windows 10 properly.
Or maybe the people that get an innocuous part replaced like a battery and say that now they can't open up any files in their computer.
Or maybe people who pay for a data recovery and then complain that they can't open up a file on their new computer (because they don't have PowerPoint or PDF reader or something)
Or maybe the dozens of people a week who buy a Windows 10 computer, demand we exchange it 2 months later because it's "broken" and they can't play DVDs, I download vlc player and show them how to use it and then they still demand another computer because they shouldn't have to jump through hoops to play a DVD even though i explained it will work the exact same way on the new one.
Or someone asks my recommendation for business, I say Lenovo and they want to return it because we are guilty of false advertising "this isn't an IBM you guys sold this to me recommending IBM and I get this stinking Chinese thing" to which I reply that I recommended Lenovo not IBM but Lenovo bought the rights to IBM computers. And he calls me a liar and wants a computer with no parts from China which we all laugh in unison because it's impossible.
Can you guys tell I'm fucking tilted yet
cool__dood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad was asking me where the "clipboard" was on his phone the other day. He insisted that when he copies things to the clipboard that he had to open the clipboard app to see them. I still don't think he believed me when I told him that the clipboard app is not a thing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
About four years ago I took an intro to computers class (not comp sci) to fill a lab requirement for college. Lab was Friday mornings from 7-10 am. I get in, sit down, and start immediately following the steps on how to use Google and crap like that. The girl next to me sat there for about half an hour not doing anything. Finally she leans over as I'm about to leave and asks me if there's something wrong with her computer. I asked her if she had turned it on and she asked how to do that. So I pressed the green glowing power button and then left.
After about two more weeks, the professor realized I knew how computers worked and I didn't have to go into lab anymore.
rollinghunger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Used to teach computer classes in the late 90s. The number of people who would pick up the mouse, put it on the screen, and try to move the pointer was amazing.
meinnitbruva ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The boss where I work goes through excel with a calculator and does the calculations by hand, then types them into the spreadsheet. I've tried printing a function list and going through how to sum up, but she still uses that damn calculator.
nloewen0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do computer work on the side for extra cash.
I was helping one of my grandpa's friends who's laptop computer was so old it was literally falling apart. She was hoping I could clean it up and get the viruses off so it would run faster. She didn't have the budget for a new computer, so I gave her a laptop that I had sitting around for $10. I couldn't have given that thing away, but it was 10 times better than what she was using. I got everything set up and showed it to her. She wanted to make sure the printer worked, and so had opened up a word doc and was typing various sentences in
Lady: Can I print this? Me: yes. Lady: types different sentence how about this? Me: yes. You can print anything. It all works.
This continues for a while until she needed tried typing an 'R'
Lady: I can't find the 'R'. Why did you sell me a laptop with no 'R'? And why does this keyboard have two P's?
I did my best to explain that the lettering on the keys was a little worn because it was a used laptop and the one P was actually an R with the lower right line faded off.
I had another customer which would come back regularly for repeat business. She is quite paranoid about viruses, and was always asking me to remove them. She would say "look! The internet doesn't work! My computer is full of viruses!" I'd take a look, and sure enough Chrome had Add block, No script, and Ghostery installed, and JavaScript and images would be disabled in settings, but no viruses were anywhere to be found. I'd reenable images and JavaScript, remove noscript and Ghostery since she obviously had no idea how to use them, and she would be ecstatic that the internet was working and that I had removed all the viruses, no matter how many times I attempted to explain her actual problem. "You're the best! I love you!" She would say. "Those geek squads couldn't help me at all! You're so smart!"
One time I was once again trying to help her, she broke down and cried because she was so overwhelmed and couldn't understand how she always got so many viruses. I never did find a single virus on her machine.
Raichu7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum tried to turn the computer on by pressing the Dell logo rather than the power button. This happened so often I drew a picture of the power button with "This is the on switch" written next to it and a picture of the Dell logo with "This is not a switch, it does nothing" written next to it and taped it to the wall behind the monitor.
MEGALODONG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Came over to fix my mom's computer. After removing the viruses, I installed Chrome. Two days later I got an angry call from her stating "that Chrome thing you installed messed up the computer!"
I never offered to fix her PC again.
palcente ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I experienced the same...
Slanderous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was subcontracting in a multinational manufacturing firm on IT, helping a secretary who was having trouble getting a version of some dictation software to work. Then she mentioned why they used it... Manufacturing director still remembers the slide-rule days and doesn't like using computers, so his PAs print off all his email, he reads his replies back into a tape recorder, hands it to his PAs again in the morning and they type/send his replies. He was employing 2 people just because he refused to use email.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One supervisor of mine asked me to print his emails so that he can annotate them and file them in his cabinet.
He printed his emails and stored them in his cabinet.
On second thoughts, no can hack a piece of paper.
XZIVR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Setting up an ipad, time to enter credit card info. I wasn't really paying attention but I think it might have asked them to take a pic of the card and it would enter the number automatically. Looked over to see them pressing the card against the touch screen waiting for a beep.
Naughty_Cactus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Called in about his monitor not powering on. Me:Ask if he pressed the power button does it turn on. Him:No Me:is it plugged in to power? Him:Idk Me:Can you check ? Him:Oh it's not plugged in.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmother called me over to her house, saying that "the Google isn't working so I can't print". Her printer is a wired printer, and it wasn't turned on.
Imadoctah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:38:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: r/TalesFromTechSupport
SirGuido ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was training a new agent at a call center once and she told me she wasn't good with computers so take it slow. After showing her ctrl-alt-del I asked her to double click the icon for our main piece of software and she just looked at me. So I reached over and pointed at which one she needed and told her to double click it. So she reached out and tapped the screen twice saying "click click".
jiajun49 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friends deleted a doc file. She then calls me for help to recover it and I tell her to check her recycling bin and she doesn't know what the recycling bin is. She's 20 and in college
saintcmb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can I just say myself?
deadbefore35 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmother called me up and told me that she wanted me to come unplug all the wires on the computer and polish the prongs because it wasn't working...Her monitor was switched off.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm playing league of legends, and my mombellows "WHO TOOK MY SPEAKERS!" She goes around the house, asking all of my four siblings if they have it. Of course, they don't, and she starts to get really angry and silky. A few hours later, I hear an embarrassed sounding "oh". She had muted the volume.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't get the pointer to the right side of the screen. Didn't realize her hand was hitting up against a wall on her right and preventing her from going further.
Leroytirebiter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
me "okay, so I'll need you to unplug the modem from the power"
caller "which one is the power cable?"
I have been asked this question multiple times.
clamroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for a pc repair guy who made house calls. Generally he'd drop machines off to me to fix from home, but he frequently sent me to people's homes to diagnose and repair.
I traveled almost an hour to this old guy's house. His computer isn't powering up, my boss tells me. Bring a power supply and a psu tester, he says.
I can hear you IT'ers laughing already.
I get to the house, he shows me where the computer is. He reaches over and hits the power button on the monitor. "No source" comes up for a brief second then the monitor switches to power save.
"WHATWASTHAT WHATDIDITSAY" he blurts out. I explain. "I've NEVER seen that message before EVER. What did you do to get that?" I explain again. I reach down and turn his pc on at the tower. Bios comes up "WHATSTHAT" again. The Windows gui comes up "I've NEVER seen that screen before". Windows loads. "YOU FIXED IT! YOU FIXED IT! What did you do to fix it?"
...I have problems with sarcasm to begin with.... It's really hard to say "I pushed the proper power button" without sounding sarcastic.
"I've never touched that button before! It must have been my wife!" He says.
Then there was the gross old guy who spoke at about five words a minute who recounted at great length every step of the porn viewing session he has on the internet leading up to his computer starting to act weird, including "trying to wish that girl a happy birthday".
His motherboard had a leaking capacitor on it. Had he just not said anything it would have taken me five minutes or less to have seen that and saved us all time and saved me no small amount of revulsion
paross ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at Best Buy about 10 years ago and some lady asked what "Megapixels" were. Since I was a jerk college kid who was tired of trying to answer technical questions posed by people who really couldn't understand the answers anyway, I just replied,
"Megapixels are a liquid goo inside your camera. The more you have, the better your picture because they are photosensitive. That's why you don't want to drop your camera, you might spill your megapixels. It's why you need to buy a Product Replacement Plan."
She bought the camera and the PRP and I felt what it was like to continue functioning physically when I had already died inside emotionally.
HerpAMerpDerp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work for a UK Computing/electronics/gaming company.
To get a job there you had to actually know a thing or two about using computers. One of the managers of the Birmingham branch used to type full web addresses in to the google search bar, search for the web address and then click on the google link.
Polishrifle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have customers in my industry that receive an attachment via email, print the attachments, scan them at a xerox machine that sends it to their computer. They then attach the scan and then email it to me.
None of them know how to browse for files on their computer.
nathanb065 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did AV work for a few years. And a lot of places I worked was schools. I can't count how many times I had to drive three hours just to plug the speaker cable back onto the computer so their speakers "could make sound again."
The one that really got me was i had a high end job at an airport. Their "top IT guy" had been working on their computer for a week trying to get this program to work. He was a know it all type and no matter what I did, he said it wouldn't fix it.
So I put the disc into the CD drive, Installed the program he wanted, took the disc out, and told him I was done. Took all of 3 minutes.
Spade_of_Jacks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:49:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bro, did you even try to download Adobe Reader or Google Ultron??
TheGuyAboveMeSucks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A guy I use to work with was forced to start learning computer stuff. He came up to me and said "this is gonna be a weird question, but do you have any clue where the Q button is?""I've been searching for it for 45 min". He had a customer in front of him for 45 min as he just stared at the keyboard.
1369ic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When we made the switch from old DOS-only machines to Pentiums at work there was one guy who had no home computer and had only ever used the computers at work. On the way in the office one day he asked me how to move the cursor around, and I told him to move the mouse and the cursor would move on the screen. He went to his desk and I went to see somebody. When I came back he said it didn't work. So I asked him to show me. He held the mouse up in the air in front of the screen at the approximate location of the cursor and moved the mouse through the air. "See, it doesn't move."
I had a hard time not laughing. Well, not until later, anyway.
TL;DR: guy thought you waved the mouse in the air in front of the monitor to get the cursor to move.
emeksv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once sarcastically told a coworker who was having a problem with her mouse that the problem was it was a left-handed mouse. She believed me. It was an apple mouse without buttons.
Jackoffedalltrades ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:26 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to force my brother and I to read the 'terms and agreements' when installing things on our first computer.
crunch816 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"The Internet stopped working. We unplugged the browser and plugged it back in, but it still won't work."
checkmycatself ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Users used to call and complain their cable modem was running at 100 megabits when they should be getting a 10 meg service. I had to point out that was the nic not the cable modem and it was 100 not 10.
MurgleMcGurgle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to create a tutorial on how to Save versus Save As. This person was hired as an office admin. In 2015.
grivonok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party, and I wasn't just a witness, but the actual dumb fuck. Back in school, about 20 years ago, in Computer Science class, I had quite a long argument with the teacher because I requested a hard disk I could borrow, and he wouldn't provide one. I kept asking, being sure that it's nothing to him, while he grew all the more insistent that what I ask is out of question, since a hard disk is an expensive piece of equipment (which in turn made me all the more frustrated). I was never a total dumbass in any subject, and in CS I actually was one of the top of the class, starting the programming basics and doing extracurricular stuff for my own fun etc., which also made me so confident in my requests.
But anyway, the thing was, there were 2 main floppy disk formats in use back then - the 5 1/4 inch and the 3 1/2 inch. The former's case was kinda 'floppy' as you could bend it with no consequences, while the latter's - actually quite hard as in 'not flexible'. So I was 100% sure that when I was asking for a hard disk to borrow I was asking for a 3 1/2 inch floppy disk to take my assignment home.
Happily enough I was only the laughing stock for the teacher and a couple of the smarter kids, the rest was still quite oblivious of the imminent technology back then and just ignored what happened.
EDIT: I work in IT now BTW.
Brassens71 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Friend of mine had a Mac about 30 years ago. She asked me to fix something so I went over, and there I saw that her mouse was oriented the wrong way around (i.e. with the cord pointed at the user. She said it's the way she'd always used it; she used the mouse like some kind of flight stick, where you move it in the opposite of the direction in which you want to take, and clicked the button with her palm.
RedRummy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in highschool when I was taking a Comp Sci course, I had a bug that I couldn't figure out. I called my teacher to help and we sat there for 5-10 minutes for her to read through and fix it. I needed to save before tunning, so I did what any sensible person would do and press ctrl+s, but when I went to run it she screamed saying I didn't save it, after 5 minutes of explaining i can just press ctrl+s to save she made me save the file the long way... (File > save as > click computer > etc)
BeckWreck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've sent this to certain people before.
Seriously, who bings Google?
vogosvagen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
bit late, but what ever. My sister told me she saw this happen infront of her. Ok, so you know when you are in Microsoft word or any program that when you press the keys ctrl + s , it saves? Someone in front of her in lab was using Visual studio, the way this person saves is, does his work, press the close button, program ask if they want to save before they exit, presses yes, opens visual studio again, loads project, waits 10 seconds for project to load, repeat....
asills ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching a girlfriend's grandmother how to copy and paste and while observing her I witnessed her turn her mouse 90 degrees left and then go "up". She was trying to steer her mouse like a car - she only ever moved the mouse up, and rotated it to change its direction.
She could never figure out why she couldn't get it to work right.
Nature17-NatureVerse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/Ko4leGFOGx8?t=4m12s
Chopper3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The new Jason Bourne film is shockingly inaccurate.
jesuswantsbrains ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When i was unemployed I would go to a Worksource office to find job leads. They had this computer lab with three rows of computers. I show up on a particularly busy day, sign in, and ask to use a computer. The lady tells me that there's only one computer open, but that it's been broken for days, only when the internet is open. I go over and open the browser, notice that the page is zoomed way in and press ctrl-0. Boom, normal size again. She clapped.
rolon1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a co-worker and she works as the assistant to one of the directors.
One day, she had trouble with the slow internet connection that affected everyone and proceeded to ask me if I had a shorter ethernet cable of like 1 foot, because she was so sure it would 10 times faster than the current 10 feet cable.
IWishWristWatch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine's grandmother was terrified of the computer. Friend visits grandma, starts talking about something "private" and grandma is all "hush! hush" and escorts her to the other end of the house so "the people on the computer don't hear you." Bless her heart, she sounds so paranoid... she didn't even have an internet connection. But she kept a blanket over the computer and was sure to do her hair and make up before even walking into the same room as the computer - that had no internet, was turned off, and under a blanket. haha
My husband had a co-worker, in her 50's, who was using the opened disc drive as a CUP HOLDER and when he laughed at it, she was serious in saying how "they just think of everything, don't they!"
And also, my sister, when I introduced her to the internet... I opened up google and watched her type "where is ford dealership? .com" into the URL bar. lol
Th3Guns1ing3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Around 1990, the college had just opened a brand new computer lab with about 30 machines. Late one night my buddy and I were finishing up a project for some programming class, maybe PASCAL, and the only other person in the lab is a girl working at a computer a few rows in front of us. She walks back to us and asks if we can help her get her disk (3.5") out of the drive. We follow her to the computer she is using, and she has shoved the disk in upside down! She had to have used all of the strength she had in that tiny frame to accomplish that.
Thomas9002 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not really illiterate. Just not going with the time.
A teacher of us:
Oh, you young folks don't know these old antennas for your TV anymore.
You're all using a receiver with a SCART cable now.
(This was about 2 months ago)
Dedge77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People who double click on a hyperlink
ThaNorth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You see that door right there? The one marked pirate."
Volntyr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Very recently, one of our managers had to reset one of our customer service computer screens as the screen had froze. Instead of resetting the system (per instructions from Tech), he kept trying to hit the login button. This would be fine and dandy but he was trying to complete this task without a Username and password. Those fields were both empty.
This went on for about a good 15 minutes until he gave up.
yoggdidnothingwrong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aerodynamics professor. One of the top in its domain of expertise. During one of our class, he typed "google" in the address bar of IE. This brings him to bing searching for google. He realized, he's not on google. Closes the browser. Reopen IE enter "google.com", and proceed to search google in the google bar. We were flabbergasted
ImportedSocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Explaining client-side and server-side lag to be two different things to someone who COMPLETELY DENIES THE FACT THEY'RE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS.
somewayne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm probably too late, but in a computer class the teacher said "let's close the windows", only to have one of the students stand up and close the physical windows.
Qui-Gon-Whiskey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I had a tech call once where a lady told me her screen was shaking. I walked over to her office to take look, but the screen seemed fine to me. The mystery was solved when she offered me some corn nuts.
I had another one where a lady said her system was making cricket noises. I went so see her right a way in case she was having a HDD failure. Nope. She had an actual cricket in her desktop.
EDIT: More of them
I had a user that got ransomware on his system. Ransomware is that malware that tells you to put in your credit card number and it will unlock you system. He got it on his work computer, but instead of bringing it to us to fix, he paid them. Well, of course when you actually pay the ransom, they don't "unlock" your computer, they simply take your money. He brought it to us after that and we fixed it for him (for free of course). That's not the dumb part though. The dumb part is that it happened to him again and he paid...again. He almost did it a third time, but one of his co-workers stopped him.
I had a guy walk up to me and drop his laptop on my desk. He said, "Rogue wave" and walked away. His laptop was filled with sand and seawater.
One morning I had a guy bring his system to me with a virus. I fixed it and gave it back to him that afternoon. He brought it back within an hour with the exact same virus.
Keep in mind that these are all professionals and most of them are engineers.
gimpyracer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
About 15 years ago my grandma yelled at me for sitting so close to the TV. I was at the computer, it was one of those old desktops too
joshyang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once asked a coworker to transfer some images to me on a thumb drive, and she looked at me like I was an idiot. Then I thought, "maybe she's never heard it by that name," so I proceeded to call it every other name I could think of, and she was still clueless as to what I was talking about. I then described what they were for- we're both in our twenties in graduate school, so I thought this was some weird joke. She got offended when I kept trying to explain the necessity of them. She said something to the extent of "Why would I ever need one of those?" So I just gave up.
pm-them-dogs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do IT in the Army. I had a brand new full bird Colonel ask me to make his computer work in his new office. When I arrived he had a laptop docking station hooked up to monitor and was pressing the laptop eject button asking me why it won't turn on. Military Intelligence in counterintuitive
FartHog69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I checked my moms messenger and found out she had been texting some random person with the same first name as my brother. She had done a Facebook search and just clicked the first person that popped up when she typed his name. This had been going on for months. She sent pictures, happy birthday messages, news about her dog. The guy had accepted her friend request but never once replied to any of her messages.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Worked IT for a few years. Thankfully it was for internal employees so it was always relatively tame. My favorite was from a middle-aged woman in accounting.
Woman: Hey, my internet stopped working.
Me: Alright ma'am, can you ensure that the network cable it plugged in, and the link lights are on?
Woman: Just a sec...uh yep they are! Still no internet. I need this resolved ASAP, I have deadlines to meet today!
So I made my way over there. Got to her desk, sat down and noticed the screen was dark. Try moving the mouse, but it stays black.
Woman: See? No internet!
I look under the desk and see that the monitor power cable in slightly unplugged. I plug it fully into the outlet and the monitor immediately comes back to life.
Woman: Woah! Don't know how you IT guys do it!
Years of training ma'am..years of training.
iaccidentallyacoke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Working at a small tech company, our sales lady constantly complains that her computer "has issues". This is because any time it attempts to run Windows Update, she holds the power button until it forces a shutdown, and then turns it back on and attempts to run it as usual. She has absolutely no idea that you can set it to run updates at certain times and apparently doesn't read the only text on the screen, reading DO NOT TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER when the updates start. It fucking drives me insane.
superpastaaisle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not the most illiterate thing but... I visibly cringe every time I see people edit>copy edit>paste instead of ctrlC ctrlV
Originally_Sin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have to enter a password to begin taking tests at my school. One of my professors wrote the incorrect password, and when informed it didn't work, her response was "Well, I know I wrote it down that way, but have you tried typing it in without underlining it?"
RRoyale57 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sold a family friend an old desktop. When I was showing her how to power on, and use the mouse, it halted at the mouse. I was like "now take the mouse and left click on the start button", cue her putting her hand on the mouse and moving it off the table! So I put my hand on top of hers and showed her how to gently move the mouse. As soon as I removed my hand, her hand and mouse went flying off the table again!
Th3Guns1ing3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My first job out of college. Older machine shop supervisor would move the mouse by using his middle three fingers to nudge it in each direction from the opposite side (to move it up, he would push from the back, etc.). Once the cursor was where he wanted it, he would lift his hand about 1 foot above the mouse, point his finger, and then slowly bring it down to click the button.
EDIT: "My first job out of collage." <facepalm>
_get_off_my_lawn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We got my mother in law a new laptop for Christmas. She called and said she couldn't get on to check her email because the Internet was broken. I knew she had wifi but hadn't turned it on in the computer but said she had plugged it in with the chord in the box.
I told her that should work fine thinking she had connected to the modem directly to her Ethernet port instead of wifi. It turns out she had just plugged the power cable into the laptop and expected to get internet working like it would magically work through the outlet.
smallville007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Told a girl at work who's internet was running slow that if she straightened out the internet cord she would get a faster connection. 20 minutes later she told me it didn't help.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mum, no matter how much I explain what tabs are, will close the page she's on, reopen Google Chrome, type Google into the search bar, go onto Google and click the link for Google and then finally type what we're going to be looking up. And if I try to speed up the process she bats my hand away.
1Metiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually having to explain how to press a key on the keyboard, because she either pressed it too long or too short to be registred. Typing in her mail adres in the browser adres bar (btw, we've been using computers for like 22 years now), not knowing how to turn the damn thing on and off, not being able to follow the most basic instructions, by any definition (e.g., press that (pointing) button) because she gets "stressed" when I'm trying to explain her anything etc etc
aytchdave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was in elementary school so this would have been the early 90s. I vividly remember there being a news report about a computer virus that was going around and being spread over the internet maybe through an email attachment or something like that. I also remember the news reporters telling people to unplug their modems so they wouldn't get it while someone devised a fix.
DizzyGrizzly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in IT. On more than one occasion I plugged a power strip into itself. I'm normally pretty savvy but this just kept happening to me and took about 3 instances before that was the first thing I check when the power didn't come on right away.
JustAnotherDevGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom has a physiotherapy studio. Yesterday a second monitor that I bought arrived and when I was installing enters my mom:
Mom "Hey since you bought another monitor give me the old one so I can bring it to the studio to watch TV on my breaks."
Me "You don't even watch TV anymore, you just watch Netflix, why don't you just take your notebook and watch Netflix there? (She has wifi on her studio)"
Mom "And there is Netflix there?"
She watchs Netflix on the smarttv on our living room and was probably thinking that Netflix was something like cable tv, I assume, but still...FML!
And thats only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to technology and my mom. And theres only me and her in our house so...yeah...
Valinslav ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Trying to google something in the documents search bar
Weioo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back around 2000 my dad tried using a computer for the first time. He ended up with the mouse pointer near the bottom of the screen and the mouse at the top of the mouse pad. He asked me "how do I continue moving up?"
Me - "Dad, you can lift the mouse off the mouse pad and reposition it, it's not attached."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
User: Hey Nate, do you know anything about IPhones?
Me: Not really but what seems to be the problem?
User: The speaker is really low, they can hear me but I can't really hear them and I have the volume turned all the way up.
Me: Proceeds to take the protective plastic (shipping material) off the phone
User: "I'm going back to my office now..."
Nenry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know it's not much, but my mother finally got rid of her Juno.com email recently.
rowan771 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma was over from the UK for a few weeks and she wanted to send a message to my uncle back in the UK, so my dad goes "OK, we'll send him an email." With the most innocent confused tone I've ever heard she ask's "is it a normal typewriter?" I was 14 at the time so I lel'd pretty hard.
Tec_savy_bol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:50 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok so I had to make an account to post this
My friends mom was having trouble with her pc as it kept freezing and getting error messages
Calls up IT support
She explains her problem
IT guy: ok first your going to have to close all the windows open currently
Friends mom: really? I have to close all of them?
IT guy: yes before we can more forward, you have to close all the windows currently open
Friends mom: mmmm ok? Just give me a few minutes. Runs up stairs on the in her bedroom and shuts the window, tell her son to close the window in his room, as she heads into the living rooms and kitchen to shut the window.
She gets back on the phone still confused, and says was there like dust coming in from outside and that's why it's not working?
The it guy couldn't even comprehend that she had closed all the windows in the house for another 5 minutes. She then realized what she has done and then quickly hangs up out of embarrassment and call back for hoping for another it guy.... She didn't get another guy
Evigishki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Today I found out that my friend thought "Italic" was a font this whole time
Wattsmith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My 10th grade study hall teacher couldn't figure out how to move a file on her computer. I was floored.
Hernandezjc11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Co-worker told me her computer was freezing on her. Told her the computer must be cold, to rub the sides and warm it up. She proceeded to do it. Took her about 5 seconds to ask, Does this really work?
XtremeBulletz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When my uncle wondered why his phone batteryy life was so short and I had to explain to him that he needed to turn the screen off before putting it in his pocket
Kman1287 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:25 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grandma, "press the x button, maybe THAT will make it bigger". Me trying to get a game full screen.
MeMuzzta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My SO types full sentences/questions into google.
We were looking for some cheap last minute holidays.
She types in - What are some cheap flights to Spain around September, something like that.
She doesnt know you only need to type in key words like, cheap flights spain, ect.
Ru-Ling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When in the USAF, I had a MSgt tell me that the "TV" part of the computer wasn't working. When asked what was wrong, he said it was just amber (this was a CRT monitor). It's worth mentioning that I noticed he had been sitting at his desk for a good five minutes just staring at the monitor in question. I went to his desk, pushed the on/off button on the front, and said "there, I fixed it."
Therrion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I signed out of my Mom's Amazon right in front of her she freaked the fuck out. This is because the sign out says, "Not Jackie? Sign out!" and she started yelling not to tell it she's not Jackie and now she'll never be able to sign in again and that I ruined her Amazon experience.
It's a good laugh now, but I don't plan on being her free child tech support too often anymore haha.
Shelbylove2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Asks me how to open the internet. I open the browser. He goes to youtube and starts typing in eBay search terms and is thoroughly confused when videos come up. This happened about twice a week for a few years.
TSwizzlesNipples ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Told a new employee her password was "Password1".
New employee proceeds to turn on CAPS LOCK, press P, then turn CAPS LOCK off and type the rest of her password.
I also got an email once asking if the Exchange server was down. That was kinda special.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a customer once who paid me to install a printer for them. Gets it home, doesn't work. Comes back. I plug it in again and no issues.
I'm perplexed at this point, but because I am a printer person, I make sure to demonstrate the hookups.
The man with a PhD was putting the usb cable in the phone port on the back... "oh, I though it was a little loose, but I'm not a printer person, so..."
Or the small business secretaries that used a computer blatantly loaded with adware and viruses to do their online banking for 2 months before bringing it to me.
UncrunchyTaco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party, so I'm sure this will get buried.
I asked a lady at work to tell me where on our network drives I could find a couple files. She sends back 3 emails:
It's amazing to me that this lady knows how to take a screenshot, paste it into paint, and save it as a .bmp, but she doesn't know how to copy and paste a link.
Cheshire1666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work IT for a pharma company, I had a 45 minute call with a field rep who could not, for the life of him, find the power button on his Lenovo T430.
Firemanz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:42 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was on the phone with my grandmother a couple years ago. She said she thought her computer had a virus, and she was in the process of figuring out how to open the case so she could throw the motherboard out to get rid of the virus.
TheCatterson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:10 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother didn't know how to Print-Screen...
Computermaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know it's old and tired, but not knowing how to plug a computer into the wall. Like, the actual power cord.
HOW HARD IS THAT TO FIGURE OUT
Wakez- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mum asked if Internet was Mac compatible.
thebonstergirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had customers attempt to type the whole 90ish character http:// address of the reset link into the password box of our website after requesting a password reset. Explaining that they needed to click the link was always fun.
beefstrogonof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:01 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A friend was having problems with the mouse on her p.c. Came to find her using it as a pedal. I had to walk out and take a breath.
Toovya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a government job so you can imagine that tech savvy isn't exactly commonplace, specially amongst elderly women. Anything .gov gets targeted by hackers and after much insistence to avoid any problems just do it the way the tech guys tell you to. Anyway she insisted on doing it her way with her own E-mail because it's too complicated to doing it the normal way. Ended up getting her email hacked, gets the entire department investigated by the FBI, and still refuses to believe she did something wrong. Still doesn't realize she could've compromised entire networks just by hackers using her E-mail for phishing. Good thing she's not in the military or every advancement would be publicly broadcasted.
Telsea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Working at a computer store, I had a lady hand me a wired mouse and ask how to change the batteries.
Omisid0215 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I explained to my mother that I was buying a projector to connect to my computer, and she clearly didn't understand how it worked, and asked if me if it "projected onto my computer screen"
TheResidents ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:03 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A friend moved across the country to California. When her parents asked if she used facebook she said 'I do, but we have a different internet out here in California so you can't see my page.' and they bought it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents thought I locked them out of their computer because the password screen said "Caps Lock on"
zaghop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People who say "I'm just not good with computers" drives me crazy. I feel like that's just their excuse for taking 2 seconds to figure it out...
MuchBiggerInRealLife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad accepted a promotion at his place of work. He was now a manager after several years as a team lead and an individual contributor before that. One of the first tasks as manager was to create a spreadsheet, so he asked for my help since he wasn't savvy on Excel.
I think I nearly made his head explode when I showed him Ctrl+C Ctrl+V. I had to start with the pre-basic basics. For all intents and purposes, he knew absolutely nothing of Excel.
totaleclipse26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have two possibles. One was a company that was still using Windows 95 in 2003. They had a big security hole in their network that if you clicked cancel on the login screen you could get into the computers and on the Internet. The other was a man who whenever he received an email would print it out, hand write his response on the printout then leave it on the senders desk.
kongnamul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/oldpeoplefacebook is a pretty good source for facebook interactions that have to do with this
Twistboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for an ISP in the late 90s and we offered in house technical support for customers (Installing hardware, virus removal, etc.) Customer was having trouble installing new RAM sticks. He put the new sticks on the board but his computer wouldn't power on anymore. After checking with him over the phone, we had him bring the machine in to the office. He did not know how to open the case so he literally sawed the back of the computer off with a hacksaw. He was very confused why it wouldn't work anymore.
walteronrails ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll nominate myself.
Recently I spilled some water on my Macbook Air. It seemed okay, but some of it got between the keys, so I figured I'd better do something about it. I still remember the exact thought process I went through:
I know I've seen people dry hardware using a hair dryer. So I went to look for a hair dryer, and eventually realised I don't own one. But wait a minute, I do have a heat gun, and those are basically like hair dryers! I'll just be reaaaaally careful...
Turns out it doesn't take much heat to make your Macbook keys curl into interesting shapes. They sure were dry though.
jizznipples95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in retail, we sold all sorts of things, including computers.
I had a lady in he 60s come in with her laptop begging me for help. I asked her what was wrong and she told me that her screen all of a sudden got bigger. Logged into her laptop and everything seemed fine, then she tells me " no when I'm on Facebook, everything is just bigger" so o open up Internet explorer, go to her Facebook and zoom out the page for her, I had to repeat this a few times for her to get it, she then acted like I was some miracle worker and hugged me and everything.
LRA91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:31 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend and I decided to show my mother in law Pokemon Go as she was curious. A Rattata appeared in her living room which we thought she would find interesting (she seemed to be understanding it) but she proceeded to panic and thought Pokemon were "hacking her wifi" and wondered if there was a way to "opt out"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:02 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Helped an aunt with her resume. Asked her where she wanted me to email it.
"To my computer at home"
"Ok... do you have an email address"
"Yes, but I want it at my home computer"
"Do you have the internet?"
"Yes"
"Then I'll send it to your email and you can get it anywhere"
"But I want to keep it here for a while in case I want to change it"
"It doesn't go away when I email it"
"Well then how am I going to get it on my home computer if it is still here?"
"When you email it, it makes a copy of it"
"But what if I change the original?"
"Then send the new one to your email address"
"But how will I send it to my email address if i'm here. My email address is at home."
... "I'll take care of it. Just get it from your email when you get home"
"Ok, cool"
gentry54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My manager needed to clean their mail out, which meant printing every email out.
L3NU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:21 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My coworker asked me how to transfer files and i told him that he simply had to drag the files into the folder, and he asks me "how do you drag a file?"
LetsBuildAWarpDrive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:28 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not explicitly computer related, but tech related. I've worked as a help desk tech several times, but my best case by far was a teacher that was baffled as to why her printer had stopped working, I checked the back and found the ethernet cable had been run from the cat5 port and forcibly jammed back into the printers phone line port, and the USB similarly smashed into a nook that wasn't even a port. Her claim was that she hadn't touched it and that the last tech set it up that way. I was the tech that set up the printer, a week prior. Fairly certain I didn't set it up in that fashion.
BudweiserSoze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad used to repeatedly call me to help him, step-by-step, sign into his AOL account.
ravenclaw1991 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Friend: [sitting in front of the computer typing] "How do you spell 'delete?'"
Me: "Its... its on the keyboard in front of you...."
scarthearmada ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:25:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe their Delete key had only "Del" on it, like mine?
ravenclaw1991 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was my computer, so I knew it had the word delete spelled out on it. I didn't consider that. I was mostly like "really??" that she had to ask how to spell such a simple word.
scarthearmada ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:30:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, not to be a prick or anything, but you used "its" instead of "it's" twice in your original post. Haha!
karmagirl314 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked with a lawyer once, nicest guy ever. Yale graduate, Marine, active in the community. Anyone would be lucky to have him for their grandfather. I was responsible for the mail room and printing center in the firm. Every so often, this guy would bring me a webpage or an email that he had printed, and he would ask me to scan the page to his email so that he could forward it to someone. Sometimes, if I were in a hurry, I would just do it. Other times, I would lead him back to his office and show him how he could send it straight from his browser. He was always very appreciative of my help but not very interested in learning more about the technology that he used everyday.
sickofallofyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Friend unplugs parents computer. Cleans it. Plugs it back in. Computer does not start. Power Cable does not work now. Had to use other cable.
He broke the power cable cleaning the computer. I also have to update this guys avast registration every 6 months because he can't enter his own email.
warmappraisal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I gave a girl our mumble server address to get into VOIP for a raid in FFXIV. She typed it in her browser's url bar and kept complaining that the voice chat url wouldn't work.
Athegnostistian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I set up a computer with a DSL modem for a friend of my parents'. He's not a computer genius, but with some assistance and explaining, he even learned how to grab and edit videos or do some basic image editing. He was maybe around 50.
His wife though (roughly the same age) was a different story. She wanted to be able to google stuff, mainly to find embroidery patterns and maybe some cooking recipes. Now this happened back when most people didn't have a flatrate, but only a limited data volume.
So I explained to her that she had to click on the grey icon in the windows system tray that looked like a globe, choose โconnectโ in order to connect to the internet so that it would turn blue, then open the browser by double-clicking the desktop symbol, then google whatever she liked, and when she was done, close the browser, click on the same globe icon and choose โdisconnectโ.
This was way too much for her. I tried to explain the concept of a โconnectionโ, just like when she wanted to use her iron, she had to plug it into a socket first, because otherwise it would have no electricity, and the same is true for the internet, except that it's about data instead of electricity. She didn't get it. She tried to start by clicking โdisconnectโ first, which was grayed out, which confused her terribly. She opened the browser without connecting first, saw the error message and got very worried that she had broken something. She connected and then instantly disconnected, asking me afterwards โso what now, where is Google?โ. I was at my wits' end.
Her husband then explained to her the concept of โconnectionโ by comparing it to marriage. It seemed to work much better. I still don't know to this day what went on in this woman's mind.
Mind you, this woman worked as an auxiliary policewoman for the regulatory agency. She used her handheld device for handing out parking tickets on a daily basis.
no_name_420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:17 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had a student in an Microsoft Office class, he sat down, looked at the keyboard and asked what are all of these letters and numbers on this thing.
ChildofValhalla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This involves coworker Scooter, bless her soul, a middle-aged lady who counts incoming garments and also operates the press that puts vinyl graphics on shirts. I was showing her on my monitor some art going on a shirt, and she kept telling me it was too small. Turns out she thought everything on the screen is to scale with real-life. She didn't know anything about scaling or zooming out, or anything like that. The art was sized 12" but she thought that preview was so, so tiny.
aytchdave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory "I saved it in Word."
sharkboy421 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At work we had loaded videos onto a portable drive to share between several people. One of the senior directors was complaining that after using the drive she couldn't find the videos on her computer. I asked where she had saved them on her computer. She didn't. She thought that just plugging in the hard drive would automatically place on her computer.
Tsquare43 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
using the Disc drive to hold a cup of coffee
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend prefers Bing over Google. And his typing speed is slow af
scarthearmada ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:22:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bing is still a better search engine for finding porn, because it still lags behind Google's ability to filter explicit search results. Also, Google being the go-to search engine for mostly everyone means that it gets the majority of copyright notices to take down listings for infringing results, or entire sites. A lot of these results are obviously porn. Bing doesn't get nearly as many DMCA notices as Google.
In short, your friend may not be computer illiterate, he may just love t3h pr0n.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:25:58 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't be surprised if that's the reason why he likes Bing. He always says that google tracks your searches, and now you've given me an idea why he doesn't want his searches tracked!
Ninjahitman19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My GENERAL MANAGER at zaxby's had to ask my manager how to send an email. He also thought he had to on the district managers email to send him stuff, and didn't know he was supposed to send an email from his email
moha384 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:29 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Customer called in - couldn't sign into her accounts and has been trying for a week since she received her new computer.
Our site is working fine - after talking with her for about 10 minute with her yelling now and getting really angry. I ask her "did you plug the computer in and turn it on?" Her reply, "it's inside the box, but the screen is touch screen."
The computer never got taken out from the box and for 1 week she kept pressing the screen and nothing worked.
JoshBlizzle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was once asked if I could help "Get them to the Google".
gen-specific ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My high school teacher once tried to resolve my frozen computer by turning on and off the screen. I just sat there thinking, "wtf is he doing?!"
phamio23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:51 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a dentist office, so we use software for generating and sending out the bills to insurance companies. Sometimes, patients update their insurance and we have to enter new identification numbers on the software.
All of my coworkers are women 15-20 years my senior and they don't know jack about technology. I had one coworker (who is the nicest, kindest new mom) bring up the document which listed a patient's new ID number, print it out and then use that copy to enter the ID number into our billing software. When I showed her that she could minimize the windows showing the document and our billing software to view both at the same time on the same screen, she was blown away. She was even more blown away when I showed her that she could copy and paste the new ID number onto the software form instead of having to type it all out again. The office operated like that for roughly 15 years before I was hired.
So many trees needlessly lost their lives.
ilikecreem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:55 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So I was a teacher's Aid in a class that taught Cisco's CCNA courses. These are very difficult courses that teach you how to design and build large computer networks. I was helping a new guy make his account for the website we use for class, and I asked him to go to the Internet. He seemed confused so I asked him to click the "E". He tried to press the screen with his finger. I told him it wasn't a tuch screen and that he had to use the mouse. He still looked confused so I pointed to the mouse next to him. He picks up the mouse and touches the internet explorer icon on the screen with the mouse. I had the teacher ask him to take some basic computer skills course after that. I never found out if he did though.
Loushius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:45 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Working IT at a college. Was moving a computer in the student affairs office from one counter, to a counter on the opposite wall. I switch the computers, reconnect everything, and one of the employee's asked me
"Are you going to move the monitor also?" "No, only the computers needed to be swapped." She responded with "Well, what about all of my icons? Won't they be gone?"
Monitors...don't store icons...
dramboxf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you say "Witness," does over the phone count?
I used to be a phone monkey for AOL. I took inbound 1-800 calls from members (or prospective members) to offer technical support. I did this for 9 months in the mid 90s.
At that time, one of the big fast food places (McDs, Burger King, Wendy's, I can't remember) handed out 3.5" floppies with the AOL software on it. Printed on the label was the following: "All you need is a hard drive and a modem!"
Back then, people still had PCs that ran on dual floppies, thus the specification for the hard drive.
I took a call from a guy who went down to Office Depot or whatever and purchased a hard drive and a modem. As in, a physical HDD, not a CPU WITH an HDD. And a modem. He had no CPU, no keyboard, no monitor, nada. He wanted instructions on how to connect to AOL using a hard drive and a modem.
After almost 30 years in corporate IT....
Then there's my brother-in-law....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tries to take selfie with camera that doesnt have a camera on the screen side. Instead of trying to and probably failing at taking it with the camera facing away he tries to take one with the screen pointed at him. He takes about half a dozen pictures before he starts getting mad that this shitty devices isnt doing what he wants it to.
ForestOnFIRE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmother using her iPad with her finger acting like a sledgehammer.
Mjv2687 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:24 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its iphone related, my mom recently got her first. We begin texting and all of a sudden she send a frustrated text asking why I keep sending three dots and then taking them away... Oh mom..
128bitworm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Trying to check the internet for the installation instructions for a new router before the router is installed to connect to the internet and then complaining that there is no internet therefore the required information is not available. Instruction manual be damned.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't witness it personally, but my former roommate told me about a woman in her office who didn't even know how to use a mouse. She had to explain left click to her.
Johnnybeachboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents refuse to learn how to copy & paste.....
hellnerburris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother wanted to order tickets for my father for his birthday. I helped her go through TicketMaster to find the tickets, but before you can check out you have to create an account (or at least, at this time you did...maybe 10 years ago?). She made a username and put her in email, clicked to the next section then paused. She looked at me and said "I don't wanna give them my password!".
Needless to say, my sister and I lost it. And my mom sat there furious that we found it so funny that she wanted to keep her password a secret - we eventually stopped laughing long enough to explain that it was not the password to her email, but to create an account to log in on.
hellnerburris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just posted but I have another great one. I work for my father, well at the same place as him. One day I came home late (still live with my parents) and found him sitting at our dining room table pissed as hell. I asked what was wrong and he slams the laptop he's on shut and says, "this damn thing doesn't work. I'm going to have a talk with person who is the contact with our IT department tomorrow!".
Next Day:
My dad leaves the office for a meeting and the previously mentioned guy walks in and tells me "earmuffs", followed by "These old guys are going to be the death of me.", directed at my supervisor. He proceeded to tell us that my father came in furious because he could not access a certain document off of our shared drive while he was trying to work from home. The problem was the document was saved onto his desktop, and not the shared drive to begin with.
alicesindrome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:54 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party but still wanted to share. My English teacher back in high school called the front office to find out where the enter key was on the keyboard. We told her we could help her out but she said something along the lines of "you guys don't know anything". I also found out from a friend that the next class period she called the front office again to find out where the esc key was on the keyboard.
nuclearbastard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:40 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason, my uncle bought my grandmother a digital camera. She took about 24 pictures and then replaced the SD card. She put it in an envelope and put it in a drawer where she keeps her negatives. She had five cards in there before we found out.
Daughtry23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:12 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Inside the computer.......
Metal_Devil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used the camera lenses on her phone as a viewfinder. I almost suffocated laughing. It was so cute.
coffeeordeath85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've posted this before but it's relevant.
I have to share this story! So I was staying in a hotel in Washington D.C. about a year ago. I was waiting in the lobby for my parents to come down stairs. Next to me there was a computer and printer that could be used by guests. An older woman (probably mid 60s) was on the computer, checking her email. I hear her start to huff and puff but I pay her no mind. Finally she comes up to me and in an angry voice asks me (I'm assuming because I was in my 20s) if I could help her print something. "It won't work when I try it." I look at the computer and printer and in 2.2 seconds I immediately spot the problem. Without saying a word I calmly press the on button on the printer. I tell her it should just take a moment and she can try again. The look of disdain and anger this woman gave me. She was infuriated that I figured it out, she couldn't even say thank you. I sat back down in my seat as she continued to grumble, print her tickets and then stomped away.
anton2g ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in tech support in a hospital when I got a ticket that simply said "My keyboard has fallen off my computer". I was pretty confused, seeing as none of the staff had laptops and it was only desktops in the hospital. After wondering what it was about with my coworkers, I went to check it out. Turns out she had the keyboard tray under her desk fall off. We are not maintenance, but she legit thought this was a computer problem.
Nixia_Nova ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Co worker didnt click in the text box but started to type, then got angry and slammed the keyboard on the counter.
D_Man_GR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife works in a library, she had a patron who was asking for computer help because her laptop wouldn't turn on and she was going to to buy a new one. My wife asked her when was the last time it was plugged in to charge. Her response was "it has to be charged?"
goddamit_adam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:59 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma's 70. My cousin bought her iPad for games. She has a laptop and an iPhone 6. I don't know why she has all of this but whatever. Well, she calls me and asks me to come over to help her with her computer.
This woman looks at me and says, "I don't know how to change my profile picture on Facebook back. I accidentally changed it to a picture of goddamit_adam's cousin." I just sat there and blinked at her for a minute. I went to her profile and changed it back. She hugged me and acted like I just saved her from being killed.
She then says me, "if I'm on Facebook on my laptop, is Facebook (the app) still on my phone?? Am I still logged in?"
board_like_chalk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:44 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a coworker who asked me "how to you make stuff blue". I thought he asking how change the display or change text to look blue....he meant how do you highlight something.
Betterthanthouu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was taking a C++ course a few years ago while I was still in secondary school, this course was hosted by a local college. First class of the course, I'm sitting beside a guy, he's a lot older than me, I'd guess around 40. When asked to boot up the PCs, I notice him repeatedly pressing the power button on the monitor, not pressing the power button on the computer. I help him, and, he of course, needs a lot more help throughout the class. He didn't come back next week. It's probably not the most computer illiterate thing I've seen, but I found it hilarious that it was at a coding class.
ITPalAl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A user thought the CD drive was a cup holder, and complained when her 'cup holder' was broken
nannulators ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of using the rectangle tool to draw a square, they used the line tool to draw four sides.
Amanoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone on TV who thought she could fix her PC by aiming a laser pointer at the light in her PSU. And she wanted to tell everyone about the magic of control - alt - delรชtt
Born2dodishes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember the story of the guy thinking the disc drive was a cup-holder. Not sure if it was true or not, but definitely worth a sensible chuckle.
mifdsam ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:55:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l495DMDpfTw
you mean like this?
Born2dodishes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha. Perfect!
cincodewillo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:38 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My old boss didn't know how to copy and paste. He refused to acknowledge it was a basic task of using the computer and got me to go into his office every time.
He would type emails in microsoft word (so he could save them and work on them the next day because it took him so fucking long to type) then want to copy and paste them. He tried using a highlighter when I told him to "Highlight the text"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:06 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine's mom said she couldn't send an email because her printer was out of ink.
drkRabbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know I am late to the party, but I feel like I need to share this. I worked at the Apple store during college and had quite a few "interesting" experiences with customers, all the way from shitting in a corner to dry-humping while I showed them speakers. However, one of my favorites has to be the iPod shuffle lady.
So, I am working the iPod area and helping folks figure out which iPod would be best for them. A lady comes in and says she wants something small for working out and doesn't want too many buttons to figure out. I lead her over to the iPod Shuffles (2nd generation, little clippy ones) and tell her that this would be the best bet for her. She looks at the shuffle for a second, kinda puzzled, then looks at me and asks "Wait, how does this play my CD? Do I just clip it on?".
Needless to say, I ended up spending about another hour or so with her explaining how digital music worked.
TL;DR; - Lady thought iPod shuffle was a CD player.
JofusSunshyne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This will get lost but I hope some see it because it's really funny. I set Skype up for my Mum one afternoon and told her I'd call her later. So, later that night I call her and she answers but I can only hear her quietly like she's on the other side of the room. We try again and again and the same thing happens. I know I've set it up right because I'd checked it before I left. The next day, I go and check it when she's not home and everything is fine. Same thing occurs that night, and the next, and the next.. well, not everyday, but often. There's one consistency though, everytime I check to make sure everything is okay, she's not there, she's out of the room or in work or whatever. Eventually I ring her in the house and ask her to answer the way she has been. THE WOMAN WAS ANSWERING THE MOUSE. She was literally pressing answer, then lifting up the mouse, turning it sideways, putting it to her ear and talking to it.
Between that and another - my sister's friend physically lifting her laptop upside down for months because she had turned the screen upside down... It's something like ctrl, shift and a direction to change and sometimes, I've done, it happens by accident... She did this, by accident, and left it for months and used the laptop upside down. She had to connect a keyboard so she could type! - I think I've seen some of the best of all time.
SoSaltyDoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My sister was maybe 4 or 5 at the time. She was listening to something on the computer with those over the ear headphones on. I guess the volume wasn't loud enough, so she put her headphoned ear up close to the monitor to get a better listen.
clackercrazy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:46 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my work colleagues had his kid in 6( year old) and hid iPad's battery ran out. So we set him up with a desktop pc to play some games online. Straight off he starts poking the screen saying the computer is broken. It was funny watching him learn to use a mouse for the fist time and get the hang of double clicking and right clicking.
no_heart187 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My ex gf and i were at her cozens house visiting once. Her son got in trouble so she decided to ground him from the internet. She did this by DELETING THE INTERNET EXPLORER SHORTCUT. To make matters even funnier her son gave her a great big smile and said he was sorry. Even he knew she didn't relay do anything. I never did correct her, i figure we should all be able to get away with something once or twice.
Bryann9182 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone I know telling me they do not want to reformat their hard drive (they had a virus) because they were afraid their emails would get deleted
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:32 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My sister had just gotten her iPhone and was showing my mother her new background for her home screen.
Sister: "Mom, look at my background!"
Mom: "I can't see it because of all the squares!"
...those are apps, Mom.
BerserkSaturn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:36 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm no computer expert, but umm......This Edit: Well, up until the end.
anarki99nz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:23 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I used to work in IT support and here is the funniest one I encountered.
One of the ladies called complaining about how she was somehow "missing" part of her monitor. I asked her to try and explain a little further. Turns out she could see the start button, most of the icons, but the right hand side of the screen was still "missing". Remoted on to her PC, and everything looked fine, so I said I will have to come and have a physical look at it. Got to her desk, and she had stuck the latest phone list on the screen covering it. At this point she realises how much of a blonde moment she just had and starts apologising. I say its no problem, and head back to the team to laugh my head off.
Oh that was a good one.
scamper84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My flatmates girlfriend asked me to read over the essay she had just typed out for college. I looked at it and told her the formatting was off, but she had no idea what I was talking about so I offered to show her. I tried to fully justify it on word but for some reason it stayed exactly the way it was. After a few minutes I realised that she treated Microsoft Word like it was a typewriter and hit return at the end of every line. It took us about 20 minutes to go through and fix the formatting.
BayushiKoji ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:08 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My sister once asked me to format a diskette for her and then wondered where all of her files went.
bottledfriends ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Director of the company I work for called me into his office because there was something wrong with the excel sheet that was sent to him.
The columns weren't wide enough so the figures came up as ######. T___T it took me longer to laugh light-heartedly and exit the room than it did to fix it.
Trav_da_man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was here
_soundshapes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Company moves into new office. Of course I'm sat next to the guy that no one really likes because we're on the same project.
Guy can't figure out why his monitors won't work. He doesn't have either of them plugged into the computer, instead they're just connected together with a single cord. This is a senior developer mind you.
Mother_Moon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
U fl v
Hitonatsu-no-Keiken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A guy doing the same computer course as me asked me "What does PC stand for?" I laughed at him and refused to tell him and he angrily said "I am never talking to you again." I didn't have to worry about any awkwardness because I never saw him again after that day.
MassiosareK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boss was trying to fill up a form where you are asked to type the addition of two numbers, like "2 + 6" equals to 8 right? , he went out of his office to ask for help because the sign "+" was not accepted... He was trying to type " 2 + 6 "
YouCalledSatan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"How do I open the C drive?"
vegablack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I'm not a Tech Illiterate guy, and I don't know what they're saying half the time. I swear I get called by Kreig from Borderlands 2 multiple times a day, for all the sense tech support calls make.
When they say things like "I need more megahurtz in my Gigabytz,". I might as well be hearing "I powered my cockatiel for the ribcage slaughter!"
Faustias ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
simple illiteracy: certain people I know still don't know how to turn off capslock.
BusofStruggles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know a guy who believes he is the greatest hacker the world has ever seen that used the words "computer" and "harddrive" interchangeably. I don't think he understands that there are separate components with their own function inside of the desktop, which is pretty sad considering that he is constantly bragging about his knowledge of computers.
Green8man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One time my dad texted me to help him because he couldn't find the calculator on the computer. I came out of my room to see if he was serious, he was, and I said nothing and walked away.
dragon34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:58 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Major PC company sent us test machines that were supposed to match what we were going to order for our replacements.
They sent ball mice (this is when optical mice had been standard for at least 5 years), computers with VGA only out, and monitors that only accepted DVI in.
We told them to fix it, they sent acceptable test machines. When we ordered our big order we received over 100 ball mice. We told them nope, they sent optical mice and didn't take the ball mice back.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:02 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was interning as an IT tech for my local library, I was asked to help a patron with a computer problem. OK no problem.....she needed help using the computer to take one of those job application what would you do in the workplace type of tests...do you work well with others etc. Fine no problem, she might need techical help during the process.
But no she kept asking me what the right answer was or what to select. Uh ma'am this test is based on how YOU would respond. I cant give you the answer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:02 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Trying to explain to my dad that his internet service is not designed for wireless connectivity at the speeds he is running. I cant get it through that what he has is not conducive to mobility.
who the hell. tries to use wireless connectivity on 8 mbs. Utterly (crappy local isp I will never use....ever.)
And than I feel bad when I tell him I am running 175 and never have an ounce of trouble.
Sapphurion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:42 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I heard this story from an IT teacher, it happened when computers were not so mainstream in my country. Once someone had called him, that the computer's 'cup holder" broke. He went to their place to find out, what they mean by that. It turns out that they have been using the computer's CD reader as a cup holder.
hznwlf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:44 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my coworker's doesn't know how to "Save as" or save at all in Word.
Stealthwind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:54 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not the most computer illiterate thing I have witnessed, but definitely something the infuriated me.
I work a somewhat iconic position where people trust they can bring their computer issues to me. One man had an issue with his All-In-One computer, what exactly I forget. After giving him the basic routine of what we do, diagnostics firstly to find if there are any hardware issues or malware, he gives me this long rant about how he knows computers and has been working with them for a very long time. He just needed us to do our jobs and fix this one thing on his computer in case we come up with something he didn't. Talks down to me the entire time because I obviously didn't know what I was talking about.
After that, I finally manage to get him checked in for whatever issue he talked about for 15 minutes and put his computer in the back. As usual, I ask him to take his wireless keyboard and mouse because we don't typically take accessories at the risk we may lose them.
This ass proceeds to laugh at me and treat me like an idiot because the keyboard and mouse "go with the computer and are the only ones that will work with it. If one is gone, you can't use the computer. You can't just plug another into the computer." Meanwhile I am smiling and pointing at the USB ports in the back. I eventually give in and put his shit with his other shit in the back while the people who do the actual repair are getting the computer set up and plugging in our own mouse and keyboard instead of his oh so special ones because of course you can just plug in a keyboard and a mouse in his damn computer.
To top everything off, he gave us his business card because he is some legal consultant. He wanted us to have it, just in case something went wrong at our business and we needed him.
He also chose a terrible font for his logo that made it look like the word PIGS, so now that is the name I call him by.
thebreakfastbuffet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:39 on August 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As formerly an intern in the office I now work in.
Lady: "Could you secure my computer from the network? I want to make sure nobody, not even you guys can look at what I'm doing, which is very confidential."
Me: "We can't see what you're doing from our room, Ma'am. We're too busy fixing other people's stuff to snoop around. Nothing is shared over the network by default. You determine if you want to share anything over the network."
Lady: "But please, could you do something about that, dear? I want my files secured."
This lady books tickets for executives. Even if we did have remote software, we still wouldn't give a single fuck what she did on her computer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:17:00 on October 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bam just a random comment to revive this chat and the beautiful meme that came with it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:17:00 on October 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bam just a random comment to revive this chat and the beautiful meme that came with it.
Ryujin_Hawker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:51 on November 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
True, but unless viruses delete themselves, when I got virus protection it should've shown up with the viruses right?
rittney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:36 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least 5 times a year I have to deal with 'my computer froze up'. So I grab two double a batteries, go over to the employees desk and place the batteries in the mouse. Voila.
elee0228 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:31 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guy insisted Google Ultron was a thing.
applepwnz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:20:48 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well what else would NASA use?
CreepingFog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:10 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend in high school had never heard about CTRL+C, CTRL+V
skrilly01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:40:22 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't learn about CTRL+X until I was a freshmen in high school/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:45 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Asked someone (over the phone) to right click on something. The didn't understand and wrote 'click' on their screen with a sharpie. Fortunately it was a CRT screen so I was able to clean off the monitor.
Wafflestarship ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once saw a guy use internet explorer.
nastynewman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:56 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lady I work was bitching saying she had to drive for two hours to drop something off with her husband who was out of town. When I asked what it was, she said it was a hard drive with a PowerPoint presentation on it. Both of them had access to email...
Telogor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Powerpoints are often too big for email.
nd4spd1919 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: r/talesfromtechsupport
lacfan1998 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Mom has always used internet explorer and about a week ago I couldn't stand how slow it was so I showed her Google chrome and the first think she asked when she opened it was how to get to Google.
GOTMADRID ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So many things...I'll list a few
Telling mom she should restart to fix error. Says she did 10 times. I restart, it fixes, she says "what is that that you did?" I reply, "I restarted the computer...how did you restart the computer?" Proceeds to turn monitor on and off.
Co-worker, "the internet is gone!" The icon was moved over 2 spaces.
Other co-worker is afraid she'll erase her old data by saving as. I explained save as creates a new file. In one ear out the other.
Other co-worker didn't know why computer power button was on but monitor was black. When I go to computer she is referring to...guess what, it was a shredder. Seriously...wtf.
Dad can't find downloaded files. I have to make everything save to desktop for him.
Mom called att when internet goes down, tells me "He told me to open a browser, idiot, I can't open a browser when the internet is down."
Co-worker doesn't know why printer won't print. Maybe cause it wasn't plugged in.
j3wxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:48 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher of mine told me a story about a woman using an Apple back in the day. She had put the mouse on the floor and was operating it like a sewing machine. Good times.
life-change ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A couple of real air head models smashed open a computer because they were told "The File's in the computer"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:33 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't believe you
life-change ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:19:18 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
no it's true, and one of them saved the prime minister of malaysia from an assassination attempt. You don't remember that?
scribblefrog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Granddad trying to teach my Nan to use a mouse was priceless.
"Okay, put your hand on the mouse. The mouse. No, this thing here. Now move it. No, don't pick it up, put it down. Put your hand back on it. Move it across the table. DON'T PICK IT UP! Just drag it. There, now see the arrow? See how the arrow moves when you do that? Now try clicking. No, click the mouse. With your finger. Not like that..."
Littlebuuk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:10:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Minesweeper,
So back in the day we used to play minesweeper and at the time there was not really a save function on our home computer. At the same time mum would complete work from her computer and we would swap depending on the time. An important day came along for mum completing reports for an accountancy firm she was involved with. She had begun learning some basic skills on the computer as it was all fairly new at this point. She left her work open after committing to half of it to send me and my brother to football practice, my dad at this point took this opportunity to take a much needed break on the computer for a game of minesweeper and a coffee. He can only what I assume began a game at the hardest difficulty 100x100 squares? And had left it incomplete on the desktop. Mum came home and rushed back to her reports only to be met with the familiar grey boxed background covering over her word document.
I returned from football practice to meet my mum screaming at the top of the voice "HOW DARE YOU", "COMPUTER PIRATES"... Startled I rushed into see my mums make-up ruined and she was a complete mess.
I asked her what was wrong and she had began to exclaim to me that a "virus" had infected the front of the computer and left a hideous stain on her work preventing her from viewing her reports which she had spent the past 3 days preparing.
Mum never used a computer again, I will always double check for crosses in the top corner before allowing anything to appear on my screen for longer than 10 seconds.
(Sorry for awful storytelling)
Littlebuuk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:10:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Minesweeper,
So back in the day we used to play minesweeper and at the time there was not really a save function on our home computer. At the same time mum would complete work from her computer and we would swap depending on the time. An important day came along for mum completing reports for an accountancy firm she was involved with. She had begun learning some basic skills on the computer as it was all fairly new at this point. She left her work open after committing to half of it to send me and my brother to football practice, my dad at this point took this opportunity to take a much needed break on the computer for a game of minesweeper and a coffee. He can only what I assume began a game at the hardest difficulty 100x100 squares? And had left it incomplete on the desktop. Mum came home and rushed back to her reports only to be met with the familiar grey boxed background covering over her word document.
I returned from football practice to meet my mum screaming at the top of the voice "HOW DARE YOU", "COMPUTER PIRATES"... Startled I rushed into see my mums make-up ruined and she was a complete mess.
I asked her what was wrong and she had began to exclaim to me that a "virus" had infected the front of the computer and left a hideous stain on her work preventing her from viewing her reports which she had spent the past 3 days preparing.
Mum never used a computer again, I will always double check for crosses in the top corner before allowing anything to appear on my screen for longer than 10 seconds. B (Sorry for awful storytelling)
dufreak2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:06:37 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Had a marine once wait for a print out to come out of a shredder is that counts, by far the funniest thing I've ever seen especially when the rest of them started lining up behind him thinking their paper work to print out of the paper shredder
oshaboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:16:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Besides ALL THE PEOPLE who don't know about the file manager search system and ALL THE PEOPLE who don't know what is youtube autoplay.
Well. There was that time where my grandmother tried downloading a camera. But it isn't THAT stupid
Also one time a private teacher (Israel gives free lessons to people with disabilities even if the disabilities have nothing to do with learning) couldn't find a file in the file system. So she just rewrote it from scratch. Then I came to the "lesson" and she told me about the file. I used the search engine and found it right on the main hard drive folder (D:/ืฉื_ืืจืื_ืืขืืจืืช.xls) no idea how it got there.
Other than that. I don't really know many computer illiterate people, especially not the ones that don't know that the computer doesn't work on in a power outage.
Insert_a_User_here ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:17:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Copied from one of my posts on /r/talesfromtechsupport
It was 8:15am, my second week on the job. I work L1 support at $LocalCommunityCollege$ part time. Iโm still in high school, so when you consider job options for people my age I think Iโm fortunate that I only have to deal with technologically impaired students and staff members, and not the general population of a McDonalds.... or at least I try to remind myself that if I get frustrated. Anyway, as I sat in my cubicle, contemplating life while sipping my coffee, my first call of the day came in.
$STAFFMEMBER$: Just go to $EmployeeWebsite$ and you will see it
As usual, I decided to play alongโฆ I went to the website and waited.
I waited a secondโฆ
At this point, I saw it. I struggled to avoid losing my composure.
Someone in web development had decided it would be funny to place a gif of a tiny bug crawling out from behind the logo, across the screen, then back up into the logo again. It took me a minute to spot because this thing was maybe only 5-10 pixels wide.
~Click~
TLDR: Actual Bug = Software Bug = Virus = Oh S@#%
Nae_b1is ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:13 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We supplied our customer with two online systems. One managed tasks, and the other was an online database for storing documents and other files (yes weird having them separate, thus was the nature of this work). My customer had me come over to his desk one day because he was very frustrated with how he "had to keep logging in again and again to both of these systems". He was opening IE logging into to task system, then completely closing IE just to reopen it again and log into the database.. he was doing this over and over again. I had to show a grown-ass man (who's work literally involved a computer every day) how tabs worked on a browser.
TL;DR. Had to show a grown man how tabs worked in a browser
getagay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:39 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandpa. He thought that is you open a new tap or a browser the last one will close.
maklershed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just last week I spent about three solid minutes trying to get someone to drag and drop a url on to their toolbar.
GreatUncleChester ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:47:21 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lady I worked with once asked me how to add two cells together (in excel).
Robseth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:00 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still use the @sum function to do that because that's how I learned to do it in Lotus 1-2-3.
Mac33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest, I can write machine level code and emulators to run it, but I have no clue how to join two cells in excel.
GreatUncleChester ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:43 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
haha, that's fair. This lady worked in excel almost daily though. I realized after my first two weeks that I could automate her job with a couple of simple macros.
Captpanda66 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:24:44 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone asked me how to copy and paste. They weren't joking.
GLOOTS_OF_PEACE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
gotta start somewhere fam
dndtweek89 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:23:33 on August 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. Granted, when I was a student, I pulled stuff like this to get extensions on assignments. This girl, on the other hand, clearly had no idea what she was doing.
melancholicmeanderer ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:46:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I helped one of my grandmothers friends install MS Word on her laptop, I told her to insert the disc into her CD drive. "Oh, you mean my coffee cup holder!?" She replied.
NotSoCheezyReddit ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:48:15 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here's an old tale I posted a year back.
Patricker ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:49:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a place that helps homeless people get into the workforce. I saw a guy who had never seen the internet before apparently. So I watched as this worker tried to explain how computers all over the world are connected through monitors. Strange...That was in 2010.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:47:11 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A woman that worked with me used to have paper sticky taped over the webcam on her work laptop in case someone was watching.
R1150gsguy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:24:35 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually not the worst thing to do on a computer you don't have complete control over
TheNightTurtle ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:41:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
im teh google guy. " hey where do i find X in soand so game" i google it and tell them. y cant they google? i tell them to google it and they say im just so much better at finding it. im better cuz u never look.
can we get a school program that teach Google Foo? im really starting to think its needed
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:33:41 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can we get a school program that teaches how to write? I'm really starting to think it's needed
Littlebuuk ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:10:14 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Minesweeper,
So back in the day we used to play minesweeper and at the time there was not really a save function on our home computer. At the same time mum would complete work from her computer and we would swap depending on the time. An important day came along for mum completing reports for an accountancy firm she was involved with. She had begun learning some basic skills on the computer as it was all fairly new at this point. She left her work open after committing to half of it to send me and my brother to football practice, my dad at this point took this opportunity to take a much needed break on the computer for a game of minesweeper and a coffee. He can only what I assume began a game at the hardest difficulty 100x100 squares? And had left it incomplete on the desktop. Mum came home and rushed back to her reports only to be met with the familiar grey boxed background covering over her word document.
I returned from football practice to meet my mum screaming at the top of the voice "HOW DARE YOU", "COMPUTER PIRATES"... Startled I rushed into see my mums make-up ruined and she was a complete mess.
I asked her what was wrong and she had began to exclaim to me that a "virus" had infected the front of the computer and left a hideous stain on her work preventing her from viewing her reports which she had spent the past 3 days preparing.
Mum never used a computer again, I will always double check for crosses in the top corner before allowing anything to appear on my screen for longer than 10 seconds. B (Sorry for awful storytelling)
Damien_DeSade ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:26:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Dad.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:40:09 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Windows 10
kLOsk ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:46:57 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Japan
mushbo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:40:16 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Co-worker would turn of his monitor thinking he was turning off the computer.
postulate4 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:50:52 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Press any key to continue."
"Hey man, where's the 'any' key?"
Senjon ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:26:22 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone used deployed CD tray as a coffee cup holder.
iSo_Cold ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:34:07 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Trying to wedge a floppy disk "Jazz Jackrabbit" into a CD tray.
Edit: The logic was "It's all disks right? They just change the shape to make you spend more on new crap."
SinfulLad ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:34:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 6-7th grade?
I was a Excel at Word 2003 except sometime when I'm finished, some people in my class just yolo and try copy me any way possible. That even included crawling which I don't care but, but I'm fking annoyed like GO DO YOUR OWN WORK, STUPID PEOPLE. HOW CAN HARD CAN IT BE DAMN IT.
Though it hard about writing what to what at times, I have to admit but come on.
professorwomble ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:37:27 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my red flag indicator for non IT literate folk is usually how they use they capitalise letters....
Hold down shift, hit letter, release shift = normal human being Hit caps lock, hit letter, hit caps lock = imbecile
slowsuby ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:01:30 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also, our IT Project manager's mouse batteries died and she shook it trying to bring it back to life by saying "mousey no worky".
Floppydlop ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:40:16 on January 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)*
Am I a part of history?
Edit: k maybe I should wait closer to six months next time to post this
alixious ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:19 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
being a liberal.
TheManOfSpaceAndTime ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:49 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Trump doing his AMA.
Malourbas ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:47 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A fellow 21 year old engineering intern at a large tech company didn't know that you can center text in Microsoft word...she used spaces to try and move the words to the middle of the page
Kairla88 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:20 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I went to my mom's office (she owns her own business) and next to her computer were directions on finding Word Documents. It started with "Turn On Computer." Le sigh.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:34 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hillary Clinton..
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:04 on August 2, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not what I was expecting to see in this thread, I'll be honest.