After I finish building my 300 million dollar pirate ship, I'd release a ship wide poll asking what they would name it. They chose Piraty McPirateFace, then decide I don't like them so I name it after my favorite pirate AYEtenbourg, but I feel bad so I give the life raft the elected name.
USS Gerald R. Ford. That way, if anybody seeks revenge, there's a 50/50 chance that they will go after the US Navy aircraft carrier, by mistake, instead. And all of my crimes will be blamed on a dead president.
Saved comment
MordecaiKravits · 74 points · Posted at 01:33:01 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Fiend ship, because from afar people would think it's the "Friend ship", until it's too late.
varthalon · 3 points · Posted at 01:52:27 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Brilliant :)
MajorMajorObvious · 3 points · Posted at 02:34:07 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Let's be fiends!
CP1228 · 4 points · Posted at 03:01:08 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Why can't we be fiends?
Evilpuppydog · 2 points · Posted at 08:21:26 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
🎶Why can't we be fiends?
IaniteThePirate · 3 points · Posted at 02:53:22 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Dang, wish I'd thought of that
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 03:00:51 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Have you forgotten you're a pirate? Just steal the idea!
IaniteThePirate · 8 points · Posted at 03:02:06 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
I'm a really bad pirate :(
xRooney2x · 2 points · Posted at 05:05:46 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
I love the "until it's too late" lol
pikaluva13 · 2 points · Posted at 08:16:26 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
I read it as friendship, so I'd say it's effective.
trixy_mia · 47 points · Posted at 01:45:36 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Usain Boat.
jesusfriedmycarnitas · 2 points · Posted at 03:48:59 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Q:What's brown and floaty?
A: Usain Boat
SimplePenis · 1 points · Posted at 03:08:33 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Fastest boat on the seas
pops992 · 26 points · Posted at 01:42:15 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Unsinkable II
GenitalDiddler · 11 points · Posted at 02:22:01 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
It's funny because it had to sink once to be II
gm- · 18 points · Posted at 02:23:29 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
thatsthejoke.mkv
Muffinizer1 · 6 points · Posted at 02:34:48 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
You wouldn't download a joke.
Evilpuppydog · 1 points · Posted at 08:22:30 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
WatchMe.exe
Ashybuttons · 1 points · Posted at 07:06:37 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
HMS Leadbottom IV
Kaninchensaft · 1 points · Posted at 10:50:43 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
HMS Colinder.
qo_0p · 20 points · Posted at 02:13:07 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Noah's Arrrk
varthalon · 20 points · Posted at 01:53:42 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Buoyancy Operated Aquatic Transport.
DragonballDC · 16 points · Posted at 01:37:17 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Seamen Container
dizzyhippy420 · 59 points · Posted at 01:44:52 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Boatymcboatface
isaynonowords · 8 points · Posted at 02:18:01 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Never has there been a naming thread without this reference.
TurtleofAwesomeness · 2 points · Posted at 00:23:57 on June 20, 2016 · (Permalink)
And there never will be
Digital_Rocket · 1 points · Posted at 10:12:25 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Shippymcshipface
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 01:32:16 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
the sister fister
StaffofAsclepius · 12 points · Posted at 01:46:09 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
"Chlamydia..." It'll catch you eventually.
Bardin14 · 11 points · Posted at 02:11:43 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Jenny
gm- · 11 points · Posted at 02:24:35 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Ex-wife. We only take half of your treasure.
HorseBeige · 3 points · Posted at 07:29:28 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Followed by The Lawyer. They take the other half
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 02:57:27 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
They take much more than that.
WhatAmISaiyan · 8 points · Posted at 01:37:05 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Booty snatcher
Azozel · 7 points · Posted at 02:09:17 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The pirate ship Revenge
canarchist · 6 points · Posted at 01:34:26 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Lusty Wench
RTSUbiytsa · 7 points · Posted at 02:12:49 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
WenchArgonian MaidScribebyTrade · 5 points · Posted at 01:38:04 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Carl's JR
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 01:40:43 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Kyle
NikKerk · 4 points · Posted at 01:48:18 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Cathartes, because Cathartes is the genus of New World vultures...vultures like to pick on the dead...Pirates liked to loot dead people.
aeriis · 3 points · Posted at 04:48:55 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
the flying assman.
always on the hunt for bootay.
tinknal · 10 points · Posted at 01:39:25 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Jolly Rancher
varthalon · 1 points · Posted at 01:54:14 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Gay farmer?
tinknal · 2 points · Posted at 01:57:39 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
No, the sticky candy that pulls teeth. :)
DublinChap · 2 points · Posted at 02:14:18 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
I've got some bad news for you. That's not a jolly rancher in your teeth.
I_am_a_Wookie_AMA · 4 points · Posted at 04:30:04 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
No... it's bad enough we have to go through this shit with the broken arms thing every thread.
bonesy420 · 1 points · Posted at 01:59:17 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Oh God!!
always_down_voted · 3 points · Posted at 01:40:21 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Bearded Clam.
Why-so-delirious · 3 points · Posted at 02:07:33 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Rusty Trombone
People would be confused, would google it, and be so scarred for life they'd immediately forget about the ship and thus my anonymity would be safe.
Balling101 · 3 points · Posted at 02:55:31 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Myspace so no one would bother coming near it as they'd think it was a ghost ship.
TavanQ · 3 points · Posted at 05:18:48 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Dinkleberg, so people will have something to shout angrily as their ship is sinking.
lanakers · 5 points · Posted at 03:11:47 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
MOVE BITCH! GET OUT MY WAY!
Doctor_W_D_Gaster · 2 points · Posted at 01:34:31 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Redactor
PerineumPowerPunch · 2 points · Posted at 01:44:15 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Thee Abominable floating Scheißhaus.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 01:51:37 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Tit-anic
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 02:26:20 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Titanic the 2nd
abaiz · 2 points · Posted at 02:15:45 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Going Merry
definitelynotdeleted · 2 points · Posted at 02:36:19 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Boat.
WithGravy · 2 points · Posted at 02:46:29 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Seek Hunt.
Say it fast.
Digital_Rocket · 2 points · Posted at 10:13:51 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The captains name better be "Mike Hunt" or something similar
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 03:13:58 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
I'd name it after any Pogues song.
"Bottle of Smoke"
"The Gentleman Soldier"
"The Broad Majestic Shannon"
LeRoienJaune · 1 points · Posted at 08:42:24 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Not the Irish Rover? Or The Turkish Boat of the Damned?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:11:59 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
All and any. They all work.
noeljb · 2 points · Posted at 03:32:11 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Bitch
BestPirateEver · 2 points · Posted at 04:59:29 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Booby Trapped.
DietDoctorGoat · 2 points · Posted at 05:32:13 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Blood, Bath and Beyond
Passing4human · 2 points · Posted at 05:34:12 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Handsome Ransom
TangledButthairs · 2 points · Posted at 06:00:50 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Booty Finder
Bsn8810500 · 2 points · Posted at 14:12:17 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
"Butt pirates"
Natx123 · 2 points · Posted at 14:43:39 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
HiImAmAPirate2001
varthalon · 2 points · Posted at 14:54:20 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
pirates.com/ship_1
NaughtyNome · 2 points · Posted at 16:56:40 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Rotten Slumber
Ninebits · 2 points · Posted at 23:38:29 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Gary.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 01:31:44 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Flying Dutchman.
SIlverlogic55 · 1 points · Posted at 03:49:20 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Dutching Flyman
alicization · 1 points · Posted at 05:55:07 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
You mean le cut inside man?
aydiosmio · 1 points · Posted at 06:25:53 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Frying Dutchman
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:40:58 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
whip titties
blindskydiver · 1 points · Posted at 01:43:53 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Going Concern
Halfwayhome22 · 1 points · Posted at 01:48:09 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Whoring Blunderbuss.
savagehenrysLSD · 1 points · Posted at 01:51:58 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Savage Henry
CoolCatMcGavins · 1 points · Posted at 02:01:58 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Maiden's Navel or Ponzi Scheme
Coolica1 · 1 points · Posted at 02:02:14 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The salty swimmer
taint_a_chode · 1 points · Posted at 02:02:40 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The 'I didn't catch the name'
SeemsReddit · 1 points · Posted at 02:06:34 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
"S.S. GET OUT OF MY GOD DAMM WAY"
GottaHavaWawa · 1 points · Posted at 02:14:21 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
After I finish building my 300 million dollar pirate ship, I'd release a ship wide poll asking what they would name it. They chose Piraty McPirateFace, then decide I don't like them so I name it after my favorite pirate AYEtenbourg, but I feel bad so I give the life raft the elected name.
mrsuns10 · 1 points · Posted at 02:23:47 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
S.S Swoozie
thasquidkid · 1 points · Posted at 02:25:37 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Shaniqua
tedleyheaven · 1 points · Posted at 02:25:54 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)*
HMS Free rum 'n' whores. I'd never be short on crew or targets.
misstibbs · 1 points · Posted at 02:28:39 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Scourge
qualityproduct · 1 points · Posted at 02:32:27 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Cocamidopropyl Betaine
You'd have to get close to convince yourself what you are reading and then BAM! Aaaaaaaaarr
go_kartmozart · 1 points · Posted at 02:37:44 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Jolly McRogerface
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 02:38:13 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 05:02:59 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Captain Feathersword, is that you?
Cheadlejuice_Juice · 1 points · Posted at 02:41:08 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The HMS Cannon Fondler. And it will look like it just sailed out of a bachelorette party.
HurricaneJamal · 1 points · Posted at 02:42:03 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Boatinator!
BatGirl2012 · 1 points · Posted at 02:43:00 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Booty Seeker
xyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyxy · 1 points · Posted at 02:44:18 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Donald.
It would be the scariest thing ever.
azertyoi · 1 points · Posted at 02:44:28 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Koyaaniskatsi
AlalaAnonyMiss · 1 points · Posted at 02:46:10 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
My bf said he'd name it "AlalaAnonyMiss's Booty" heh
JaiC · 1 points · Posted at 02:54:54 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Wavecrasher.
Elliephant51 · 1 points · Posted at 04:04:18 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Cthulhu or the Kraken
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 04:15:38 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Rank Amateur
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 04:17:13 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Kickass Co.
IparryU · 1 points · Posted at 04:19:26 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Tipsy
Tunapower · 1 points · Posted at 04:25:21 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
o frango gostoso
the_popes_hairy_ass · 1 points · Posted at 04:36:47 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Cock
IMR800X · 1 points · Posted at 04:37:12 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Sea Monkey of course.
torn-ainbow · 1 points · Posted at 04:40:56 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Innocent Trading Ship.
undeadbill · 1 points · Posted at 04:51:31 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Booty McPlunder
Thebiguglyalien · 1 points · Posted at 04:52:07 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
I'd never named a boat before, but there was only one I could think of, the most beautiful name in the wide world.
JENNY
Some_Drummer_Guy · 1 points · Posted at 04:57:35 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Prestige Worldwide.....
Because BOATS N HO'S!
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 05:08:21 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Seaward
MakesPensDance · 1 points · Posted at 05:09:15 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Crimson Bastard
fetch3000rules · 1 points · Posted at 05:29:32 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Boaty McBoatFace
Notbob1234 · 1 points · Posted at 05:29:48 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
A Boat With No Name
DietDoctorGoat · 2 points · Posted at 05:33:18 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
A boat has no name.
son_of_noah · 1 points · Posted at 05:33:44 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Shart Attack
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 05:45:57 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The vaporwave
organicpastaa · 1 points · Posted at 06:00:07 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Probably name it after one of the airship's from FF9. They were the most badass airship's in the Final Fantasy series imho.
So one of the following;
Hilda Garde The Invincible
Prima Vista
Red Rose
7palms · 1 points · Posted at 06:29:06 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Knot Aft Bad
FallingOffALog · 1 points · Posted at 07:06:45 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Knotty Wench. I pirated the name from another pirate ship name thread.
Lamalover41 · 1 points · Posted at 07:22:44 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
High Noon
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 07:23:09 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
My ship name would the Going Merry.
(I like One Piece way too much.)
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 07:26:55 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Dank Memcruiser II
rascalrhett1 · 1 points · Posted at 07:53:32 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Stinky Boathole
steeliepete · 1 points · Posted at 08:15:13 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Scrape and Bilge
The_Lone_Noblesse · 1 points · Posted at 08:37:45 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Tittymaster.
LeRoienJaune · 1 points · Posted at 08:44:08 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
USS Gerald R. Ford. That way, if anybody seeks revenge, there's a 50/50 chance that they will go after the US Navy aircraft carrier, by mistake, instead. And all of my crimes will be blamed on a dead president.
Dusenhof · 1 points · Posted at 09:46:51 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Avarice of the Seas.
BizarroCullen · 1 points · Posted at 10:20:12 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Laughingstock
AnActualChicken · 1 points · Posted at 10:32:50 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Oh Ship, It's A Shit!
or Gimme Your Booty.
r4id3r · 1 points · Posted at 10:38:28 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Avenger.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:44:57 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Nebuchadnezzar
laidlow · 1 points · Posted at 11:28:44 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Miserable Bastard. Cos me.
SlugCarnival · 1 points · Posted at 11:43:18 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Salt Bucket
AichSmize · 1 points · Posted at 11:53:25 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Aich Smizer.
Bert_The_Hobosexual · 1 points · Posted at 12:19:15 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Cupid Stunt
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:37:49 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
I would name it after my wife. The Bountious Booty.
HannShotFirst · 1 points · Posted at 14:10:00 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Inner Peace (Through Superior Firepower)
Birdwatchingyou · 1 points · Posted at 14:11:02 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Birds.
Marmitecashews · 1 points · Posted at 17:51:58 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Only Shows Mercy If You Surrender.
Once they have completely surrendered and are secured. A flap will move showing it's real name.
Never Shows Mercy Even If You Surrender.
gettingthedoubled · 1 points · Posted at 18:20:59 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Booty'licious
Fioreo · 1 points · Posted at 19:10:30 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Felicia
bull-et · 1 points · Posted at 22:50:04 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
"Totally not a pirate"
KimJongChickUn · 1 points · Posted at 23:16:57 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
I
ElegantSimpleCrack · 0 points · Posted at 01:59:35 on June 19, 2016 · (Permalink)
Omarrrrrrrrrrr Marrrrrteen