For that one, I do. For the simple joy of writing "cocks" on a check and sending it to them.

That, and my bank's online bill pay won't let me do it.

I still laugh when I hear their latest gimmick, called the "Cox Bundle". All I can see in my mind's eye is a great big bouquet of cocks.

I do mainly as a matter of habit. I used to live in Canada where the telecoms are known for withdrawing from your account after you cancel and then taking a ridiculous amount of time before they process your refund. They tell you 6 weeks but then they "forget" and then when you call back they don't have any record of the conversation. You have to bitch at them hard and threaten to get the cops involved for them to get it done.

It's spelled, czech

I do. I demand paper bills/statements as well. Why would I want my debtors to conveniently get their money instantly through electronic means? I make them work for it.

Some places charge a "convenience fee" if you pay electronically.

I'm more suprised he still pays for cable

I do. Fuck paying 'convenience fees'. It costs those companies more money to physically open and process physical checks than it is for me to pay those fees. It's my small way o say fuck you to those companies. Furthermore, it's a fucking robot processing those payments over the phone! How do they charge you for that?!
I'll write checks for as long as it is cheaper and it inconveniences those companies.

I do because they either want me to connect my bank account or charge me a 6$ fee every month to use my credit card online.

I once forced my state to mail me my tax refund by check rather than direct deposit. I got a good laugh out of making them print and pay to mail me a check for $6.

My dad tried to do electronic payment, they would always jip him with late fees and various other charges. Finally he just said fuck you, going back to check, gets the post mark for the day it's due so it's not late, and has done physical check for years now. Never had a problem since.

Probably a LPT in there, somewhere.

The only reason I have checks is because my landlord will not accept cards, or cash. It's infuriating.

Up voting for your spelling :)

You have a system that autonomously opens envelopes, removes checks, and scans them?

I don't split my Oreos in half

I don't believe a word of it.

That's nuts.

Now I want to call about my internet just to see if it's answered that way.

They're pretty bad, but I'd rather have Cox than TWC or Comcast

It's American for cheque.

The first few months I said, "there's no way I'm the only person doing this."

Which is more badass: making it out to 'toxic hell' or writing a check to Taco Bell in the first place?

Yes. Yes, I did.

My comment died for your sins!

Man that's risky. Hopefully he wasn't the type to think 'this idiot is constantly making spelling errors'.

Wtf is wrong with this guy! thrre arent even supposed to BE words in this picture and he managed to put "beuatiful" in the top corner!

this is called the Hairy Arm Theory

[deleted]

I have code reviewers like that. It's led to the biggest fights/arguments I've had at work.

I once had a code review last 16 hours because the reviewer wanted dozens of inane pointless changes, would then go and review the changes and contradict himself, making me change the code back. I know I'm not the only one with issues with him, apparently there have been instances of people asking to be transferred to other teams when they've found out they will have to work with him.

Yep, I do this with basically any customer proposal. If they can correct something they'll feel better about the rest of it. And if they don't notice I get brownie points for issuing a revision after the fact.

Back when I used to work in the kitchen, there was this one boss that would anally check every nook and cranny to make sure it was clean. Even when it was perfect, he would add something extra for me to do. Eventually I just started leaving a small decoy mess somewhere so he would just make me clean that up.

I had an old manager give me advice like that once. For big visits, from regional managers and the like, he'd intentionally leave something obviously out of place. Like a small piece of signage being upside down. Almost without fail, the rest of the visit would go smoothly. They weren't digging too deep, looking for minor mistakes, since they'd "corrected" him on something already.

[deleted]

Genius

Me TOO!!

Make the errors, when all put together, spell out something like my boss is a clueless cunt. Then he calls you an idiot and you out it together for him:)

Worked in aerospace for 20 years and we'd sometimes do this with documents submitted to a customer for review. When they catch a trivial spelling error on page 5, they seemed to confine their comments on the rest of the document to stuff that actually mattered.

I've approached formal talks like that. I've thought "Hm, actually, maybe I should mention X, since that's an obvious thing to wonder about," and then I've realized that if I make an appendix slide for that, then if someone asks the obvious question, I would be able to nail it.

I guess that's really only ethical if you anticipate your audience is going to ask a question just for the sake of asking questions.

One can approach model validation submissions in the same way. Model validation people typically feel they can't come back with nothing or they'll get in trouble, so if you intentionally leave something small, obvious and easy to remedy out, it makes your life and their lives easier.

I'm a technical writer, and depend very strongly on getting developers and PMs to give me good initial information and better feedback after a draft is ready. The single best way I've found to get both?

Deliberately get an important detail flat out wrong, but not so wrong that it makes you look like an idiot.

People couldn't give a fuck less if you're in the ballpark or can't figure out how to make a technical concept clear, but holy fuck will they ever drop everything they're doing to correct you when you're wrong.

This also works on Reddit as it happens.

Wow, similar story. Whenever my mom is at DMV or any administrative office, she always asks a question she knows the answer to already, and the answer is "no." When I askled her about it, she said "Those people get off on telling you "no." When they get that oiut of the way, then you follow up with the real question."

Man this is hilarious.

I think my boss is like this..

When people want options, but I have one design that I really like, I'll just make up some shitty other ones to make that one look better.

Although, every now and then they pick a shitty one... so there's that.

I used to be in the Navy and we had this one officer (LT) who was our combat systems officer (CSO) and was obsessed with technology, but had no idea how any of it worked.

So one day he read something about monitors and resolution and just HAD to have the best resolution possible and went out, bought a monitor and put it in his stateroom so when he browsed the network he could do it in HD.

So he came in, set it up himself but was suddenly disappointed by the fact that it looked really good in the store, but shitty on the ship. He calls up the IT shop (where I worked) and asked for someone to look at it. My CPO was such a kiss ass that he jumped at the chance to please CSO since that's pretty much who he answers too.

So we send the new guy to go fix it, comes back says "I can't fix it" and has no explanation as to why. Second guy actually knows what he is doing and goes to check on it. Comes back and says "The resolution is maxed out there isn't anything I can do to make it look better."

CSO is not the kind of rational person who takes no for an answer. He KNOWS it can look better, because at the store it looked great. He says that nobody gets to go home until we fixed his issue.

I decided that I could fix the issue, I went down to his stateroom, sat at the computer and moved his desktop resolution down a peg, then asked him "Sir, how does this look?" and moved it back to where it was before (at max).

"IT2! That looks fucking fantastic! Just like at the store! I don't know why nobody else could do that. Okay you guys can go home now"

The problem was his machine was a dell d610...

Then everyone clapped or something.

I remember my friends writing "i am batman" in the middle of writing tasks because they knew the teachers not reading them

We do this with plumbing inspectors on buildings, too.

We'll intentionally leave something easy for him to gripe about and they're usually pretty chill about everything else.

My wife has a boss just like this. However, my wife is about the epitome of perfectionist and has quite amazingly perfect spelling and grammar. So her boss who is a school principal has a rule that all her teachers (like my wife) have to first submit report cards to her to essentially edit, before they are allowed to send them home to the parents. This being my wifes first year with this particular principal madenit a point to get 0 marks from her; which is appearantly not a feat anyone has done in several years, so now in 2 reportcard times (whatever that should be called) she has recieved 1 mark on the spelling of a students name..mmwhich happened to be spelled correctly per the student and just wrong in the principals reference or something. Long story short this principal is very bad at being a boss/supervisor/leader of adults, but is appearantly quite good with the kids.

I've done the same for building inspectors. Always leave something obvious and easy to fix on the spot for them to find, makes them feel important.

I am so working my own version of this tactic in to my daily life.

the cadets do this at Sandhurst. the room inspections are so ridiculous that you're going to get a bollocking, no matter what you do. so they leave one thing slightly wrong - a toothbrush pointing to the wrong side, for instance - so that it is picked up, the room thrown apart, and any actual discrepancies (blankets folded being a millimetre too widely, was one my brother mentioned) will be ignored. that's the plan, anyway .not sure it works as well as he thinks it does

Micro managers make me want to drink Clorox.

That's actually a solid strategy. People who do TV do this all the time, especially cartoons. They'll put in blatant, raunchy jokes that they know will never get past the censor board. Then when the censors review their work they are so focused on the blatant stuff it allows them to get the more subtle crude humor past the radar.

Every once in a while a censor won't catch one of the blatant jokes, and they get to air something really raunchy. There's an entire TV tropes page dedicated to this stuff, and if you listen to a lot of interviews and DVD commentaries you see the production team is very aware something is gonna get censored, so they'll intentionally go to far so they can keep the content that toes the line.

Try a grammatically correct "that that". It'll make come off as slightly more competent with language.

AKA The Little Green Dog method. There was a reknown Russian theater stage designer, Alexander Tishler, who would always put a little greenish dog somewhere in his stage decorations sketches before he'd present them for the approval. Somebody would inevitably say something like "everything is great, but what the fuck does this green dog represent? remove it, will you". He'd fake disappointment, they'd come to an agreement - case closed, project approved.

This works for inspectors in the construction trade as well when it comes time to create a punch list to finish up. Major issue that needs resolved but don't want inspectors nitpicking it? Just mess up a nearby light switch, or some other minor fix, to draw their attention away from what's right over their head.

I call that one the "sacrificial anode". Works every time.

Nobody else seemed to notice, but I noticed what you did there.

late to reply, but your reply sounds like 90% of army officers during inspections.

officer walks by, looking for things to criticize. and does.

sergeant accompany walks by, whispers "man, this is the nicest i've ever seen, don't change shit."

Check out Hairy Arm Theory

Every time I think about doing that I can't because I'm afraid I'll forget about it and it will accidentally slip into production.

This is what we did in race car tech inspection. The inspectors want to do their job so we left in easy fix it items. Maybe leave the battery bracket loose or some other minor thing that can be fixed on the spot.

That's doggone clever.

First line, thirteenth word in, *...else he...

welcome to 2 trillion dollars worth of government spending

Wouldn't you, as a boss, feel better that you hired quality people who were competent workers?

Just makes me think of this.

he else felt like he wasn't doing his job.

Unfortunately that's the world of management. We need to do something to feel like we've contributed to the project.

I'd intentionally leave in a minor spelling error

Be wary young Padawan. This can go the other way and be seen as "why does Joe keep using the wrong form of 'their...'" eventually leading to the awkward conversation of "why does this happen?" Now you have to cop to not knowing the proper use of their, or admit you were intentionally doing this. Either way, it doesn't end well for you.

Ah yes, the famous 'DFA' slider.

"Hey sound guy, can you make my guitar sound a bit more meaty? It just doesn't sound meaty enough."

"Sure thing dude. I'll just turn your DFA up a bit, how's that?"

"Oh man, way better. Thanks bro."

"No problem, guy."

For those not in the biz... DFA= Does Fuck All.

"See? Isn't that so much better? And I thought you were supposed to be the expert."

.-.

My favorite was watching Billy Corgan tell the engineer "Please, I'm an artist. I think I know what I want."

During his set he told the audience that his reputation was very deserved.

I studied music in school and learned some stuff about audio and acoustics, so I'm interested. What kind of changes are they requesting that won't make an audible difference? I'd love to hear an example of some dumbass asking for something stupid trying to sound smart.

I usually have a channel strip labelled "DFA" for just such an occasion.

(Does Fuck All)

man, don't fuck with the band on stage. Hopefully you deal with mostly professionals and if they ask for or want something changed in monitors you should oblige them. At FOH however, different story. There is never a shortage of "sound helpers" in the audience or extremely picky and naiive clients, friends of the band or otherwise critical punters. For them, there is always the DFA fader. Does fuck all.

I always called it the phantom fader

Keep eyes on board. Fiddle with knobs and sliders that don't have any input. Give them a thumbs up without looking at them. Works 99% of the time.

The good old DFA (does fuck all).... Band person: Can I get more of this screamingly loud guitar in my monitor? Me: (tweaks DFA) How's that? Band person: Sounds awesome.

Sometimes this happens uintentionally. I start reaching for the knob, fully intending to make the adjustment they request, and they say "Oh that sounds great!" before I even touch anything.

I choose to assume there is a knob on those things for this purpose exactly.

Is the placebo knob right next to the "better" button?

Been there and done the exact same thing.

Haha we used to call that "the producer" knob when I was in school.

I once told a really uppity guy who kept bitching about their monitors (it was a coffeeshop...) that I left my board with the "don't suck" button on it at home. Never worked with them again, didn't mind it a bit.

The worst thing that always happens to me is when I mix is o have one group who always wants the vocals louder than they are, especially when literally any more volume will make them start feeding back, I DON'T CONTROL THE LAWS OF PHYSICS, I JUST LIVE BY THEM AND WORK AROUND THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS.

I used to mix and did this all the time for the monitor feed.

"Dude there's no mids in here can you fix that?"

Look, mids are already at +2, turn volume up slightly.

"Great, thanks man!"

please tell me you have an actual nob that does absolutely nothing, its just there to make it seem like you are doing something.

Can confirm - I've done this more times than I care to talk about. "YEAH THAT'S SO MUCH BETTER, THANKS!!!!" Heh.

LD here. Replace the 'talent' with a director/designer and we have the same problem. I feel your pain.

Can you give an example? I worked the sound board too and I can't think of anything that doesn't make an audible difference. What do you mean?

The idiot fader!! My favorite for all situations! Want more 4k in your ears so you can better hear the click of the kick in your floor wedge? I just put some in your magic fader! Want me to speed up the vibrato of your voice? I simulated it by moving the fader up and down really fast!

As a fellow sound engineer, LOL

As a musician, this infuriates me. If I say I need the playback louder, I need it louder because I can't fucking hear myself, not because I'm so full of myself I think I know everything. I've caught sound engineers using the imaginary knob and they refuse to even admit that they were trying to pull a fast one on me.

I SOUND ENGINEER RAWR

I used to be a video editor and did the same thing. We had an old, outdate piece of equipment we kept in the rack no hooked up to anything for that very purpose.

Is there equipment with a "placebo knob" on it?

Least you're not a lighting guy, way harder to not do anything when someone complains. But I suppose most if the time the people complaining aren't paying the bill so fuck them.

Ah, the DFA dial - Does Fuck All.

Did you ever know that you're my heeeeeerooo? You're everything I wish I could beeeee!

Can i get a little more volume in this monitor?

And this is why I just deal with whatever sound I'm getting in my monitors rather than asking for the sound engineer to change anything.

Label it with some tape Mixerman-style

Were you my boss in college? He told us to do this

There's no need to take your dick out over that.

Rule one of being a respected touring act. Always make face and talk with the sound engineer. They know the system way better than we do. So you show up on time, sound check effectively and move on. I've never had a bad run in with an engineer. Thanks for making us not sound like butts.

I swear the sound engineers we hire do that for everything what you can't hear vocals here let me not fix that. Fixed? no? ok good

As a musician, this is no suprise. Also it's the worst haha

Dude, I do sound too and do the same shit. 10/10 times the people on stage really believe I did some thing, it's so cute.

I'm an sound tech and I do the exact same thing. I always laugh when I don't even know what they want picked up but after a few seconds I'm given the "that's good" hand gesture.

If it won't make a difference anyway why not just change what they say?

yes - the "could you drop 2.75k a dB" knob

fucking tools

yes - the "could you drop 2.75k a dB" knob

fucking tools

Sound guy 101.

Famous session bassist Leland Sklar (James Taylor, Toto, Willie Nelson and a million more) does a similar thing: he's added a big useless "producer switch" to his bass for when an engineer wants him to change his sound just so. He emphatically flips the switch, which isn't connected to anything, and without fail, they nod and agree that it's much better.

Sound engineer here too. Guilty of the same thing. This guy takes it to the next level.

"Can you turn me in up my monitor and turn down the bassist. I can't hear myself over the low notes." I nod and look at the board. There is no sound from the bassist going to the lead's monitor because it is muted, but ok, I'll turn him down in your monitor! Or, the best one: pianist wants all channels equally mixed in their monitor. keyboardist, who sits 3 feet from the piano wants only him and the lead guitar. Impossible tasks are fun!

I knew I wasn't the only one!

I did sound for fundraising events and one person would always be chatting people up during speeches then look upset when everyone would laugh at a joke he didn't hear. He would always look to the soundman (me). I knew he didn't hear because he was talking and that if I turned the speakers mic up more it would be way to loud, so I pretended to adjust something then looked back at him, he nodded that it sounded much better. From then on I knew had to be done...... the two guys I worked with were told the story, from that day on we all "adjusted the placebo knob" when he looked our way.

It all worked out, he was happy and we didn't drive the system to echo and/or feed back.

Yep. I also run audio. For every "It's too loud" complaint I get from the audience, there is an equal and opposite "it's too quiet" complaint. I have a placebo knob picked out specifically to deal with these. Just wiggle it and go "there, better?" They'll smile and nod, and be on their way.

On a totally unrelated note, I should start writing "will not interact with audience members" in my contracts... Everyone thinks they know how to do my job better. I've had a few persistent audience members that made me want to step away from the board and say "you know how to do it better? Know what all these knobs and faders do? Go ahead."

As a fellow sound engineer I do this all the time. Aside from live, during studio sessions I'll set up extra aux channels in pro tools, mark empty channels on the console, and move those faders around.

*knob.

. . . I do Egyptian Brackets. . .

BINGO!

THAT'S what my supervisor is doing!

a fwe mistakes

I see what you did there.

cheques

Whew, almost missed that one.

And customer's always right so you end up grinding your teeth to smithereens, let the client have it their way and think they invented the whole trick that made the design perfect even though you ended up changing nothing.

The hardest thing in graphic design is that "everyone's" a designer.

You perfectly summarized my weekdays

How long until you CAN show what it is?

I was in the same situation a few months ago. My building manager asked me to design some permanent signage. I came up with a really, really fantastic design, but knowing that she's a hard sell I decided to spend an extra two minutes on a garbage design and give her an option of the two so she would just pick the good one without a lot of hemming and hawing. Bitch chose the shitty one right off the bat and now I have to look at it every day.

So it never gets better?

I just wrapped up a project that took 2 months because the two people leading it hadn't talked to each other before asking me to design it.. so after designing the first round of drafts (I gave them 3 unique concepts with a couple color variations) to what they both had asked for, I had to start from scratch with different concepts.. and then go back to another different concept. And then about 8 drafts of that as they fought each other over colors and placement. They went back on what they said they didn't want so many times it made my head spin.

I'm a copywriter, and I have the most nit picky client at the moment. Here's an actual correction he wants... I wrote, "It can also grind things to a halt" his suggestion is, "It can also bring things to a grinding halt."

That is LITERALLY the same thing, except with more words, which anyone who's ever read anything about copywriting will tell you is the opposite of what you want. He just has to fucking stir shit with his own finger.

You're just the worst kind of person. Sincerely, Old Curmudgeonly Lady

Hahahahaha that's amazing. My boss occasionally asks me to photoshop photos of family gatherings or of his car, and I'll usually find a way to put the Photoshop logo in it if he's being picky to the point of obstinance.

Lmao

My boss: "What's a reddit?"

I've had plenty of requests to move things over by 1 pixel. And I get that feel that some things don't look aligned when they're technically aligned, but I have often moved things back to the way it was to begin with and gotten a "Omg that's perfect! Just needed a little adjustment!" I've gotten the "that purple is too red, now it's too blue, now it's a liiiiitle too red" to only end up at the original purple. The guy that does this to me all the time at work watched that John McWade video and now thinks he's super attuned to the most minute graphic changes. Like, I'm designing ads and sell sheets that people are going to glance at. There is no reason to spend an hour "perfecting" the alignment by the breadth of a pixel. It's a waste of time I could spend doing actual work.

I totally read your reply, and I feel you.

That is precisely why I removed my birthday from my Facebook profile.

The way I see it, it is just modern equivalent of marking birthday date in calendar. I can't remember all birthdays and even if I do, there is no guarantee I will realize it that day (most of the time I have no idea what the current date is). So it can be nice to have some software to remind me. Besides last year I needed a software to remind me my birthday as I didn't realize it is that day again.

Last year, one day before my birthday I changed my birthday on Skype to two days before my birthday to see who will still congratulate me. (Two people did.)

I've never changed it back and this year I completely forgot about doing that. Suddenly, two days before my birthday I got a bunch of congratulations and it took me a while to figure out why.

That is the exact reason why I have hidden my birthday from FB!!

Well its hard to remember 1000+ peoples birthdays, in older times with phone and address books we would keep peoples birthdays written down. I remember all my immediate families but i cannot remember my 2nd cousins precise b day!

That's the way I see it too.

[deleted]

I also did this and disabled posting on my wall/timeline so if ever someone really wants to greet me, they would just message instead.

Same here! If I don't have your phone number than we're really not good enough friends for me to wish you a happy birthday.

But then who do you send your bejeweled blitz or candy crush requests to?

Yes, I do. Maybe it is a regional thing, but there is the strange, unspoken rule amongst my facebook friends that says you have to wish every single person a happy birthday. I get birthday wishes from people that I haven't spoken to since 8th grade math class. Honestly, it is very nice that everyone is sending well wishes to one another, but I don't like the obligation attached to it. If I want to wish someone a happy birthday, I probably have their phone number and will call or text them.

Gucci suede shoes or slippers?

^gucci

I used to wear something like these to a college that required dress shoes and I got away with it

https://cdn.ccs.com/media/catalog/product/cache/4/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/v/a/vans-classic-slip-on-vintage-shoes-blue-graphite-blanc-1.1438213055.jpg

I tried to do the same with my Chucks that were black with a black toe cap (custom order).

They called me out on it :(

I wear black-on-black high top chuck taylors all the time. With black slacks, no one can tell unless they spend unnecessary time looking at my feet.

I wear my black DC skate shoes to work because no one checks to see if they are professional shoes.

I did that for several years at a job that had fancy shoes as part of the dress code, I don't anyone ever noticed.

That allowed me the secret satisfication of being a woman wearing jeans on campus.

It must have been terrible growing up in the 1950s.

Denim is cotton. So you were technically correct.

Tried that originally.. they said it was unsafe and could cause slips and falls..

I countered with "If I slip and fall, it's going to happen in socks or in my $200 steve madden shoes which have a flat leather sole. I'd rather replace my socks then my shoes".

They said it was against health and safety code, and stated that if I didn't put my shoes back on, that I'd be written up.

I edited my original post to reflect answers and provide image links.

I edited my original post to reflect answers and provide image links.

I edited my original post to reflect answers and provide image links.

I edited my original post to reflect answers and provide image links.

I edited my original post to reflect answers and provide image links.

I edited my original post to reflect answers and provide image links.

Thanks, I edited my original post to reflect answers and provide image links.

Just keep dancing and move a little closer to the edge! I edited my original post to reflect answers and provide image links.

My original post was edited to reflect answers and provide image links the same day I made my original post (6 days ago).

Johnson? Is that you? I've got on jeans and an Aloha shirt right now! Oh yeah, I won big time.

Aloha shirts are fucking rad!

I don't think it means what you think it means.

Imperceptible*

You use that word so often.

I would pick up on that! Damn designer brain!

inconceivable

I do not think that means what you think it means.

Example please? (pic)

I have a coworker who's a bit of a bitch. Once she pissed me off, so I signed that email with a YB....short for You Bitch. She probably thought it was a typo.

Or respond with Mr. Cunty McPissface. I'm sure that would piss them off more.

[deleted]

Why not Cunty McCuntface?

When a client pisses me off

Well, do you floss every day?

Don't get me started about bill, frio jenkins.

I just assume he doesn't respect himself.

I let out a small but sinister chuckle every time I backspace the first letter and make it lowercase.

Sometimes I give people an L for their middle name, even when they don't have a middle name. The L stands for loser.

Hahah, thanks!

I rarely deal with any Dr. But I will definitely be doing this.

She has no idea! Brutal!

hahaha!

I may as well just call her "woman's name"

I am

Was gonna say, "No, he's just German." Then I read the last sentence of his post...he's a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a paratha.

Punchline: he hit return before typing the last "na" of Indiana

What he can be is dead

Somehow I read that in Frank Underwood's voice

Are you Amith?!

I can't believe you've done this

He forgot to mention there's no lanes where he lives. Or cars.

Is it really bad in the roads there?

Source: I keep going to India

You make it sound like an accident

And you're still alive? I'd think either being out of the normal flow would get you or some disgruntled driver would get you. That country is insane. I refuse to drive there, ever.

Because he has been stuck in the same parking space for the past eight years.

Care.

You get used to it

I know

Seriously. When I was in India, I noticed that the lane lines had all been freshly repainted and all I could think was, "Who the HELL is risking his life to paint lane lines on these roads?"

Eh, I was going to give a similar answer, and I live in the US. I guess here's it's just using the blinker and coming to a complete stop at stop signs. Waiting at red lights as an act of rebellion is another level.

Yeah, he literally said in his post that's he's in India.

After my first and only accident, I learned.

I'd actually like to see that. Will really show the state of traffic we face. Which city are you in?

I was in Chennai for a couple of weeks a few months back. I had never seen indian traffic before and assumed that the stories were exadurated. I have never feared for my life on such a regular basis in any other place in the world. Wonderful and friendly people, until you get on the road and everyone thinks they're Mad Max trying to reach their destination.

Then I wen't to Kerala and thought things would get better if I got away from the city. The didn't! You don't know you're alive until you've driven at 70km/h on winding mountain roads with insane drivers who overtake you with millimeters margin from oncoming traffic.

Nope I live in a proper big city

For sure. That Haryana-Punjab belt I'll not pull this stunt. When you have a country rifle pointed at you for going as fast as the next guy, you realise how insignificant some things can be.

The 5.5%. You hero.

Meh, potato, potatoe

Not at all dangerous, it just requires a bit more attention and effort in your driving. Absolutely restrict your honking to nil. Visit UK for a month and I bet you won't hear more than 15 honks the whole visit.

With a bidet for a squeaky clean bum

Tried what?

Don't have a sister

Pretty well actually. Not been too detrimental in getting around

With a bidet for a squeaky clean bum

I know, surest sign of my anti-nationalism

Never had or created an accident since I was here so I don't think so. They're all actions for advance knowledge of my next move.

What sort of Indians have you been around who can't string together a couple of sentences?

I ran into a few Mormons a while back, kept saying I was great and giving me the thumbs up for everything I said. Felt condescending

It allows me to think and come up with semi-witty reddit comments

For sure

Rebelling happens against culture and the way of practice. If the culture doesn't follow the rules, by following rules you rebel against practice.

How do you even-

deleted ^{What is this?}

Sara?

I've got the opposite... And usually mispells others name when it happens !

Erin is the proper version, it's just the female one. Aaron and Erin are correct, everyone else needs to learn how to spell

Aron, Sauron, Arin, Aronn, and Erin

FTFY :)

One of those is mine and they always use the double AA! I was once even told I was spelling my own name wrong by a teacher...

It is not Aaron.

One of those is mine and they always use the double AA! I was once even told I was spelling my own name wrong by a teacher...

Anyone who isn't spelling it Aaron or Erin is an idiot.

What did the note say?

Read this as medieval exception lol

An older guy I used to work with had a doctor write a note saying he couldn't wear an apron. He was a weird guy.

Did the same thing at a major cruise line I used to work for. Bribed some mexican doctor to say I had a dermatological condition that prevented me from properly shaving.

Beards are gross

I used to work at a pretty conservative company (women weren't allowed to go without nylons until around 2011) and they thought they were throwing us a bone by letting us have casual Friday. Casual Friday meant chinos or khakis and a golf polo or short-sleeved dress shirt. So every Friday I'd go full suit, heels, hair done, more so than any other day of the week. Fuck them.

truth

I could do without the "finally," honestly.

Our employee handbook actually says "visual tattoos." Oops. As opposed to all those auditory tattoos, I guess.

Ugh, I can't even imagine the mindset of someone who would care about something so fucking dumb to call and complain to your boss.

I'm supporting you, but I have to ask... were your jeans supporting you? Was there ass crack is what I'm implying.

I thought Bonobos were expensive, but $200 for a pair of pants? What are they, carbon fiber and spun gold tweed?

What did his religious beliefs have to do with your level of dress?

Yeah but there's no way he would have said, "I finally lost."

I noticed one day that one of our directors was wearing black sweat pants. I now wear jeans and flip flops every day except when I'm meeting with a customer. No one has said one word to me.